Would you like to be a member of our research pane? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

March 2013 - we're gonna need a bigger wine rack

(999 Posts)
Plonkysaurus Fri 02-May-14 22:24:57

Ta da!

Plonkysaurus Fri 02-May-14 22:32:55

Stormy We've been out enjoying a family day. I ate the biggest 'Derbyshire Breakfast' known to man. Not sure what makes it Derbyshire except for the sheer amount of food on one plate, and the coronary I very nearly had afterwards. Have you visited a beer garden today? Perfect weather for it.

Love the mental image of cutting the grass with scissors. Hope you also used a comb.

Yummy I forget, are you becoiled? Don't feel guilty for being tired, it's always allowed - especially at this time of the month. Do you get more tired when on your period? It's normal, but be sure to stock up on leafy greens for iron and extra sleep if you feel you need it. Hope you have a family sized bar of green&blacks to get you through.

eco I think I'd go sans antibiotics for something like that. Bathroom set up sounds divine. I have to endure dp coming in for a wee during my marathon soaks. Not ideal.

I'm shattered. Enjoy the weekend yer filthy boggers.

ecofreckle Fri 02-May-14 23:30:54

Plonky thanks for the thread! It's a really lovely one :-) And wee whilst bathing is not quite a flake bath is it. I see your point.

Yummy painful is worse than heavy. Sounds miserable. Better for the weekend hopefully.

Doli that's you, yummy and I on same cycle then. Almost as if we're sharing hormones virtually. Anyone else?

Wotta I have no idea who you are. I am challenged of brain currently. Any more clues for the stupid among us?!

WottaMess Sat 03-May-14 07:42:06

Hello. Well I considered a Puddleduck related name, or one linked to desserts (getting warmer yet?), but in the end considered the state if my house and went for a whole new one. smile

StormyBrid Sat 03-May-14 08:19:23

I'm still confused by the name change too. In my defence, the snot monster destroyed most of my sleep, and my brain is barely functioning.

yummychocolate Sat 03-May-14 08:20:10

Pud is that you?

Plonky i was expecting a sexy bastards title.

I can't remember who asked but yes i have the lovely (please note sarcasm) mirena coil. Nice to know half the thread is on the same cycle. smile

Now i have just noticed a massive spider in the living room. Would i be a bad mummy for asking yummytoddle to catch it for me.

yummychocolate Sat 03-May-14 08:21:02

Or is it you shattered?

WottaMess Sat 03-May-14 08:53:31

Right first time Yummy. grin

Now not the time to say I haven't had anything since the coil was fitted. Oh, no, I lie. I did pop a panty liner in for the afternoon once... thanksbrewwine To those not as lucky.

StormyBrid Sat 03-May-14 08:54:39

Good mummy if he'll catch it and release it outside. Bad mummy if you know he'll just eat the spider but you ask him to do it anyway.

StormyBrid Sat 03-May-14 09:36:12

Yes, Plonk, I left Fartypants with the man yesterday and went for a pint or three in the sunshine. It was glorious!

We don't have a bizarre tea towel fascination here. What we do have is a cat toy, a bird on a bit of elastic on a stick. DD loves walking up and down the house holding it. I'm baffled, but it's very cute.

yummychocolate Sat 03-May-14 11:06:19

We seem to have a fascination with the voile curtains. He hides behind them thinking we can't see them.

doli i bet she looks so cute dragging those tea towels.

stormy i can't trust ds. Im sure he will eat the spider so my db will pop by for some brunch and save me.

wottamess loving your name.

Rainbow hope you are well. Havent heard from you in a while.

StormyBrid Sat 03-May-14 11:55:26

Have to love the toddler logic - if I can't see them, they can't see me! It's garden chairs here. DD hasn't grasped that there's a great big gap between the seat and the back, and while I can't see her face, I can a) see her midriff and b) hear her giggling.

Plonkysaurus Sat 03-May-14 12:06:51

Oh god I remember telling my sister she couldn't see me when I covered my eyes. I was at least 4 and a very late bloomer.

Yummy my friend's DD used to hide behind the curtains whenever she wanted to soil her nappy blush very cute, but possibly a missed cue for toilet training. Not that I'm suggesting this is what's going on! It was me who asked about the coil - how long have you had it?

We had a shit night. After settling ds at 4with a bottle (and getting short shrift from dp for doing so!) I laid awake until 6 watching the room get lighter. Silly things going through my head - like what's better with BBQ roast pork, potato salad or cobs and apple sauce? We've only booked one bag to check in when we fly to Madeira, is this enough? If attachment parenting is right then am I, by process of elimination, a detached, un-right (not incorrect) parent?

Like I said. Silly stuff. Thankfully dp got up with ds and let me sleep in. Hurrah! Diet be hanged today, it's a beautiful sky and we've got the Somethings coming over for a BBQ. Where there may or may not be potato salad.

Shatteredmamma1 Sat 03-May-14 14:29:08

Thanks plonk. Haven't managed it on my phone yet!!
BBQ sounds lovely grin going for tea and cake at a friends post nap. Lovely weather here.

Inspired by a plonky rant, I've had a lovely bike seat fitted for DS. Took it to the park, all well until a wee toddler started fiddling with my (fairly expensive) bike. Fair enough- he doesn't know better. His dad on the other hand was stood behind him, Playing with His Phone. When I politely asked him to remove said toddler after a few minutes he got all stroppy!! Grr.

Anyway never mind. doli good idea re the exercise. We've taken up cycling again now I have a seat, but also doing a home exercise DVD during nap time (I know- you don't get that!). We resort to walks if no nap - have you tried that? Speaking of which little one is being a bit screamy instead of napping- best go check all ok. Happy bank holiday ladies!!! wine

Shatteredmamma1 Sat 03-May-14 14:36:52

Ps yummy hope you're feeling better and the chocolate helped. Have you tried something like tranexamic acid for the pain? thanks

yummychocolate Sat 03-May-14 17:51:33

plonky i have had it in since end of june. Its only been the last two months or so since i stopped spotting every day.

Enjoy the bbq.

I have the tablet begining with m cant remember the name which helps.

I have a little story to tell u all about how i got that medication.
When i was pregnant i got spd and the gp i saw said it was normal and refused pysio referral. Also said spd was because i was overweight. Very unsympathetic and miserable. Fast forward to the 8week post birth check. I had horrible period pains and planned to ask for meds. When i found out it was same gp i thought ah know way will she prescribe me those. Well at the appointment she was ever so lovely, interacted really well with ds and didnt think twice about prescribing me meds. We walked out of the appointment and i said to dh oh wow she was really nice i said perhaps she was having an off day at the appointment before. We then hear someone shout out my name and wave a bit of paper. It was the gp saying she would like me to fill in a questionnaire about how the appointment went with and that it was linked to her appraisal. Hmmm. What a coincidence.

(Betty please don't take my story as an attack on nhs. Throughout my pregnancy i had fab health professionals. it was this particular gp i had an issue with).

Anyway, i didn't tell you all about my great news. Ds had no milk over night and slept through from midnight until 6.30am. Dh and i were confused if we had given him a bottle or not but the bottle is still in the fridge. smile

ecofreckle Sat 03-May-14 20:01:34

Ah Wotta, I got it after the second clue. Thanks for being explicit! Your house is a mess? Standard. For working parents of a toddler? Totally standard I'd say. No idea what my excuse is.....

Plonky by not being attached (in this sense) you are not detached. That's my view anyhow. Very envy of the barbecue! Are the boys chatting play station? I bet they are and that you and Something are eye rolling and talking about periods to wind them up in return.

Yummy that doc sounds naff. Can you change who you see? Pud's coil chat about one afternoon of panty liner made me giggle. Opposite end of scale here thank you copper coil.

Shattered what type of child seat have you gone for? I'm front of you or behind? I must sort one soon or I'll have lost my opportunity.

We went off piste in the woods today. Ecotod put lots of questionable things in her mouth, had dandelion clocks all over her and generally made a beeline for the stinging nettles. It's pretty amazing to see how far they'll go. I bet she walked further today than she'll be prepared to when she's a tween!

Today was day two of rainbow approach on day time milk. I didn't offer and was prepared not to refuse but she didn't ask. I don't think! So we snacked instead. I now realise why I kept milk going for so long. It's much easier! And nourishing snack suggestions anyone? We have tried avocado, hummus and cheese. No idea what portion is reasonable either. Our dustbin would polish off most of what was offered....

Bath is hot tonight and phone's a bit slippy so I'll bid you all farewell. Still two more days of the weekend to go! smile

dolicapax Sat 03-May-14 21:10:28

I haven't much to say today other than a big fat thank you to everyone on here for keeping me sane over the past two weeks when the constant nap refusing, and DH being away has had me practically on my knees mentally and physically.

Today however I'm up again and raring to go after a run, a break, some proper food and a very supportive DH pulling his weight. Oh and the toddle napped. For two whole hours the little rat!!! It does not get much better.

Have a happy Bank Holiday everyone, I hope the sun stays shining with you.

WottaMess Sat 03-May-14 22:12:30

I've been shredding for the last week. Finding I can pretty much fit in 20 mins and I am feeling better for doing something exercise wise.

Anypants Sat 03-May-14 22:58:50

Stupid phone - lost you all for a bit so marking my place whilst I catch up on the last few episodes...

BettyOff Sun 04-May-14 06:13:54

Sorry for radio silence, I'm long days on call over the weekend so just off to work. Madam has taken to being awake from 3-5 then falling asleep when I get up. Oh the joy! I'm on phone so can't remember much from quick scan but yay to naps Doli, boo to bad periods (mefenamic acid and tranexamic acid too if they're heavy and you don't have risks for DVT...ask your GP), yay to BBQs and woodland walks and I hope everyone has a great weekend. Roll on 10pm!!!

Plonkysaurus Sun 04-May-14 08:29:50

Eco may take her awhile to get used to filling up on snacks. These toddlers are wily beasts and she may well be thinking that milk will come at some point. That said, DS likes to snack on cubes of cheese, clementines, cutted up pear, toast fingers with jam/peanut butter, rice cakes, wee bits of ham, raisins and anything with hummus. The odd Heinz biscotti doesn't go amiss either.

Hopefully she won't miss daytime BFs if you offer tasty morsels. Ds isn't really a luncher, so it's a smorgasbord snacks at 11 and 2.

Copper coil here too. I thought I was actually going to die on my first period since it went in. Please tell me they get better! Although according to Eco perhaps not?! I was on the pill for a long time, and before that gave the implant a whirl (resulting in nonstop periods, apparently that's enough of a contraceptive), so I don't really know what my normal cycle is like. Perhaps my mooncup runneth over.

Yummy that gp sounds like a cow. I know several not fat people who got SPD so I'm sure it's probably more to do with the fact you were pregnant than anything else.

Doli excellent news on the nap. Did she sleep well last night?

Betty ew that's a long shift. Hope no one is sick or other bodily fluids on you.

Small person is shouting at me. Best dash.

StormyBrid Sun 04-May-14 09:10:06

No snack suggestions from me. If Fartypants is a bit fractious I sometimes give her a few raisins, and she likes going to my dad's because when she reaches an irritating level of shoutyness it's diversionary biscuit o'clock, but otherwise we don't bother. Tend to go for a smorgasbord lunch too or a sausage roll.

She had muesli this morning, after which I had frankfurters. Cue DD dancing around the living room to Queen's Fat Bottomed Girls with half a frankfurter hanging out her mouth. Classy.

yummychocolate Sun 04-May-14 10:13:44

eco for snacks we have cheese, banana, apple, rice cakes, fruit or plain yoghurt, cucumber sticks, carrot sticks, cheesy scone, halloumi bread, olive bread, apple, raisins, biscotti and maybe the odd mouthful of mummys chocolate cake.

Oh thank god i didnt go for the copper coil. I couldn't manage heavy periods. I have an obsession of going to the toilet every half hour when on period can't really do that at work.

betty i admire you working such long shifts.

doli yay to naps. I look forward to ds napping just to have some lone time. Im an introvert so need the space. How do you manage with no naps? Its a stupid question. I guess we have to get through the day whether we like it or not and manage somehow. I suppose no day naps is your dd's speciality.

Weather is lovely in London. Hope it is sunny where you are. Enjoy your day.

StormyBrid Sun 04-May-14 12:10:25

Being an introverted toddler-mother is difficult, isn't it? I've realised it's not need for nicotine that makes it hard for me to quit smoking. It's need for a few minutes' space, both mental and physical. Fortunately DD's used to it, she's generally happy in her playpen while I disappear, and she knows I always come back (maybe why we've never had much separation anxiety?). I'd go mad without those five minute breaks though.

yummychocolate Sun 04-May-14 14:43:43

Being with a small person 24/7 is very hard.

My period has come back. Heavy and painful this time. I haven't a clue why this has happened. Im so pissed off im spending bank holiday weekend laying about and i should be enjoying the sun with ds and dh.

Ds and dh are out. Poor dh is getting it from me. Im ever so snappy and every small thing is making me upset. Im so glad he is so patient.

ecofreckle Sun 04-May-14 19:50:31

Evening all. And a lovely evening here in Norfolk. Hope same with you.

Yummy thanks Sounds crap. The fact you realise you're being snappy probably means all is well with dh. I bet he just wishes you were feeling good and able to join in. These things tend to peak and then wane fairly quickly so maybe the pain will ease overnight and in the meantime plenty of hot water bottles and being kind to yourself. Thanks for some great snack tips. I want halloumi bread now myself!

Plonky, likewise thanks for snack tips! I need to stock my fridge with some quick stuff that can be presented with ease. With regards coil other than mild discomfort which I have to focus hard on to recognise on first day, I have no pain with coil now. I do get a kind of crap dull ache in my vuvu (is it Betty we have to thank for that?) which is probably more of a post birth thing than a coil thing. So really it's just longer bleeding (a week) with two very heavy days. My cycle has developed cruelly too. About twenty one days shock So unless you're very unfortunate too Doli and yummy we won't be synchronised for long! But in conclusion plonk I'd say there's not much to fear from our copper friend. I'm enjoying just the humming background level of bonkersNess that not having hormonal interference means for me.

Betty tell us about your shift. I'm really interested in the sorts of situations you deal with day to day. Forgive my ignorance, do obstetricians first train generally as doctors and then specialise? Ignore me if that's too nosey.

Doli dear it says something about you (or possibly me!) that I had no real handle on the fact that the last few weeks had been particularly trying for you because you are always so chipper and make light of the nap refusal. I have to say having dh away Mon to Fri is a big deal for me and throw in the (very occasional) nap refusal day and I think I deserve a medal. Those times really are holy in their importance here because, like yummy and stormy, I am an introverted thinker and need space to process stuff that's just gone on. I am sending virtual medals to you, and dh for stepping up and being useful. Now we need to sort out how to ensure you eat properly on these nap refusal days. I make a vat of soup after breakfast maybe one a week or once a fortnight and freeze that in portions. unless I eat when Ecotod does at lunch time it often doesn't happen. I've also taken to putting jacket potatoes in oven at half nine ish before we head out so we have lovely lunch to come back to. Any good?

Stormy is your girl dancing to normal music now? By normal I mean music that's not piping out of one of those awful toys? Ecotod dances to those but not music on radio yet. I'd like to see that though. Sweet.

We had a whole 'feck the naps' day today and left the house at nine to go to a nearby national Trust place for the whole day. I was fed up of being held hostage to the cot (a rod I built for my own back of course). We offered car and buggy naps at her usual times. She slept for thirty minutes in total compared to the usual two and a half hours. The world didn't end. She still functioned (and enjoyed hanging out in woodland dens and chasing around parterres). She has gone to bed and slept. If her overnight sleep is not rubbish I'll see this as a victory.

I love May! What a gorgeous month. Horse chestnut candles, cow parsley, birds on nests, ducklings, buttercups, dandelion clocks, dangly beech flowers, that gorgeous heady pollen scent, birdsong, hot sunshine on occasion, dewy lawns in the morning, lily of valley in flower! Luscious. I'm a May kind of girl. smile

dolicapax Sun 04-May-14 19:54:51

Yummy it certainly is. Usually I enjoy every minute, but just recently with the back to back nap free days, and long periods when DH isn't around to help I have really struggled. Then I feel bad about struggling, and the guilt kicks in... which makes me struggle more. I tried to talk about the need for a break with DH, but he turned it around to make it sound like I didn't enjoy her company, and didn't like being a mum, which made me feel worse. It's one of those no win situations isn't it.

As for how I cope, I push the pram round the field while we both cry, which ironically makes us both feel better. Then we come inside, have a drink and biscuits and play chase the toddler round the cot. For those yet to try his, you need to hide behind the door, with the toddle in their cot. I then say 'hiding, hiding.... BOO' and jump out at her, and she runs round her cot giggling. Fills the day anyway.

Hope you're feeling a bit less urgh now. So far this month I've told DH I'm leaving him, and meant it, decided I couldn't be a SAHM a minute longer or I'd go mad, and seriously considered re-homing the dogs. Then the PMT wore off and I remembered I love DH, and being a SAHM, and the dogs, and probably ought to make a few apologies. Hormones have an awful lot to answer for.

As for SPD I had it, and my 9 month pregnant about to pop weight was 9.5 stone, so not fat then. B***dy awful GP you have there.

Snacks are very uninspiring here. Water and a biscuit is about as fancy as we get. She eats huge meals though, and is built like a tank, so I don't think she really needs any more than that.

Might be back later, I have toddle duties to attend to now.

ecofreckle Sun 04-May-14 20:08:49

Doli that was a cross post. I take back dh medal and give you two instead. IT IS NOT UNREASONABLE TO NEED TIME AWAY FROM THE CHILD YOU LOVE TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH. Sorry to shout at him but felt he needed that. I like him normally wink Being a sahm isn't making me feel especially whole but I do feel blessed to be able to be doing it for now. I think I need a day, or possibly two, a week to do my own brain requiring stuff, away from Ecotod. Might that sort of ratio suit you Doli? Don't like the image of you guys tramping around the field in tears. PMT magnifies things doesn't it. Horribly. But it doesn't totally invent things. She says! Hoping it's true! Maybe there's a grain of truth in how you feel pre period and you need to think more about a fix? Or maybe you don't. Just want to be supportive. Because we luffs you and all.

Shatteredmamma1 Sun 04-May-14 20:28:23

doli sad and thanks. Sounds hardcore. But good that you still see the good times.

yummy I had SPD too. How unhelpful!! Happens due to pregnancy hormones relaxing things..no? Grr to your doc.

eco we got a back seat. Protects him from the wind but doesn't half throw my centre of gravity off!!! Apparently will for him up to 5 though so still worth getting even if you don't manage it soon.

Nice tea in the country today with friends smile knackered DS tho!!! Am going to join him by hopefully getting an earlyish night. wine to anyone who needs it and here's to another day off work tomorrow!! (Betty hope you're doing ok!)

dolicapax Sun 04-May-14 22:47:03

Thanks guys, I've had a bit of a rum run recently, but that's but a mere blip in the grand scheme of things. Eco yes, you're right, I am looking for a bit more of a balance, but that may come sooner than I had imagined as we went to look at a potential business opportunity today that has us really excited. We probably won't go for that particular one as it requires a massive capital injection to turn it around, but the economy is picking up so there are plenty of viable alternatives out there. My days of tea towel toting may soon be numbered grin

Today was fun actually, as there is nothing like a day out to cheer everyone up and tire everyone out. Dolitoddle had a ball, so much so that she went down in 5 minutes flat at 8.30pm. That may sound late to some, but for her it is an early night, and I'm pretty confident that give or take a few night time squawks she'll probably sleep through until about 7am. I'll have jinxed that now, won't I?!

Well, I'd better get back to the snooker. I didn't know I liked snooker, but apparently I do. Ronnie O'Sullivan looks spookily like DH and FIL across the eyes. It must be a weird Irish thing. Sadly they don't share his talent at the table.

BettyOff Sun 04-May-14 23:04:34

Doli I love a bit of snooker and have just watched the self same matching while throwing a sandwich down my throat and am now retiring to bed. I'm so so bloody tired. You really have had a bad run recently and I have no idea how you cope without DD napping. I'd go up the wall. You're bloody marvelous!

Eco, not too nosey at all. You do medical school then a couple of years of general training then specialise and do at least 7 years of specialising in obs and gynae before consultant. This particular weekend I've just been on for obstetrics and done 9 sections, 2 forceps, a ventouse, a third degree tear, drained and restitched 2 haematomas, dealt with a few post partum haemorrhages a shoulder dystocia and pre-eclampsia and some people in very premature labour. It's been a fairly busy weekend for operating but the rest is fairly standard. It's a good mix of things and keeps us on our toes. I'm not one for a boring life!

Off to snooze. I'll try to check in properly tomorrow! Night all.

Anypants Sun 04-May-14 23:59:07

So just another day at the office then betty? shock

Doli I like your new twist on the 'boo' game - we do that at the end of her bath with me ducking down out of view, then 'boo' and she tries to swim off. Gets her extremely worn out right before bed... wink

I too feel a need to be away from DD for a bit each week - it would be healthier for both of us as at the moment, whenever we go to see someone, she immediately reaches out for a cuddle with them. I should be offended but am glad of the rest!

StormyBrid Mon 05-May-14 07:58:31

Doli one thing jumps out at me from your talk of doing crying circuits of the fields. It's something you see the two of you doing together. Not something you're doing with toddler in tow. Can't express myself very well at this time of the morning, but it gives me faith that you and dolitoddle will be just grand, and very well bonded.

Was it eco who asked about dancing to proper music? I suspect Fartypants may have picked up the idea from watching me. The first things she danced to were theme tunes. Futurama usually. I always do a little dance to that theme tune when there's no-one else around to see. Same with the QI theme tune. Yesterday we watched a Doctor Who marathon. First episode, just me dancing. Second episode, just her. It is sickeningly cute. grin

dolicapax Mon 05-May-14 09:00:02

Betty wow, that's some day. I wonder if you and your colleagues realise just how amazing you are? Probably not. So here's a reminder flowers

Stormy I'm lucky, I adore the tiddly toddler, she's the best thing ever to happen to me. Her wakefulness can be exhausting, but then she's does something uber cute, or funny, and all seems well in the world. Plus she slept a straight 12 hours last night without a squeak. There was talk of me doing a run at 6am this morning.... which turned out to be just that. Talk. We all had a lie instead grin

Another sunny day, yay!

WottaMess Mon 05-May-14 09:43:44

We had a tricky day yesterday as TEETH were happening hmm but today is a new day and he's back to his old self again. So dh and I are doing serial fitness efforts and then dropping him at my mum's so we an go for lunch a deux! smile

You can love them desperately but still need space for you sometimes. That is perfectly ok. Agree with Stormy though Doli, the fact you're in it together even when you're in tears together is somehow a good sign. But give dh a slap from me - not wanting to spend every single minute with her doesn't mean you don't enjoy her or aren't a great mum. You don't spend every second with him and is he a bad dad for not being with the toddle all the time? Exactly... You don't need random guilt trips thank you.

I know you decided to pause nursery for a bit for bug avoidance but what about a childminder for a couple of mornings a week? You could go for runs or have baths or whatever. Just a thought..

yummychocolate Mon 05-May-14 09:46:55

Oh my im so happy 3 nights in a row with no waking up for milk. Ds slept for 6 hours straight. I feel a little more tired that I had a better sleep. My body must be very confused with less broken sleep.

doli I agree with eco I never realised how much of a hard time you were with the lack of day time naps. Your posts were upbeat and you hardly moan. Did you try blackout blinds? Im sure you tried everything anyway. There is me ecstatic ds slept 6hrs without a squeak. 12 hrs and I think I will faint from the shock.

stormy sounds like your dd is a groover.

betty you are an amazing woman.

yummychocolate Mon 05-May-14 09:52:36

I forgot doli don't you dare feel guilty for wanting time out sometimes. Let dh take time off work and let him do solo parenting tomsee what itvreally is like. Dads who work usually are the fun parent. They see dc for a couple of hours before bed and they think they have done parenting. They don't know half of it.

yummychocolate Mon 05-May-14 09:53:07

To see*

BettyOff Mon 05-May-14 11:53:38

Thanks guys but not at all, the midwives do all the hard work, I just drink tea, make the risky decisions and come in at the end to steal the glory! It's a fab job though and I'm very lucky to be able to do it.

Doli, as always the collective wisdom of the gang is spot on. Time away from the small people is vital for sanity and to remember why you love them! I'd go bonkers otherwise!!!

Yummy well done on the milk free nights and extended sleep! I really need to cut out the night feeds but haven't had the strength yet but soon hopefully!

Have a lovely lunch Wotta!

Stormy I love the idea of the two of you dancing away to QI!!! So cute.

We're thinking of hitting a stately home and gardens later with the GPs and Miss Madam.....I think this might be a huge error on a BH Monday!

Happy bank holiday everyone!

Extra special thanks for Doli

ecofreckle Mon 05-May-14 20:14:00

Betty did you do it? Sunny weather and bank holiday equals having a bit of a wait for your cream tea, but the small person will have had plenty of people and dogs to gurn at. What a beautiful day it has been. I love that Dolitoddle waited until mummy nor daddy had work to allow the lie in smile

Doli and Betty, I love that you like snooker. I like it when people surprise me and my pre conceptions. I'm unsure I do anything surprising except read the times

Betty that sounds mega stressful/adrenaline filled. Puts my worries about the training I'm delivering tomorrow into sharp focus! I think today is international midwifery day or around about now, so raised classes to you all. That sounds like a lot of training, obviously needed for such a specialist area, and you must have worked hard. You do only look mid twenties though so not sure how you fitted that all in to life unless you started early smile

Doli your business exploration sounds really to have put a spring in your step! Great! Hoping you pursue other, better fitting, options and that you are spending spare moments idly daydreaming about it all.

Yummy you do know three nights makes a habit don't you? I'm hoping you get a fourth. Long awaited and much deserved.

Wotta how was lunch? Sounds romantic! Special occasion?

We were at nct barbecue today. Seven toddlers and parents in sun with beer. And meat. And puddings. Lovely. The toddlers favourite pass time? Sitting IN the flower beds. Or, better still, walking in water and then walking over flower beds. Feral lot by the end of it. Added to which Ecotod had a jalfrezi for dinner. The subsequent scrubbing in the bath was thorough smile

My first day as a freelancer tomorrow. I'm teaching outdoors but the forecast is a bit grim. So cruel after today's sunshine.

I think it's wine o'clock now so I'll go and sort that out. Glad many of you sound to have had a good weekend. Night night.

dolicapax Mon 05-May-14 20:44:10

You lot are far too nice smile and have cheered me right up. As did today, which was just about as perfect a day as anyone could want.

This morning we went for a walk down to the reservoir, with the toddle on DH's back, which is pretty much her favourite place to be, and then this afternoon I went for a swim! Blimey it was cold. You know when it's so cold the water burns? Well like that, only worse. 500m, and I ran for the shower, feeling the best I've felt in ages and shivering so much my teeth actually chattered. Which was hilarious. An interesting side effect, the cold loosened up all the stiffness in my back, so I can finally touch my toes again. Goes some way to explaining why athletes sit in ice baths I guess.

You're right, I'm so excited about getting my teeth into a business project. We're looking into buying a hotel, turning it around, and boutique-ing it. Risky business though, and not an area either of us have worked in, but we figure that with the right management team in place we could pull it off.

Eco yes, what is it about flower beds other than dirt? Much time is spent in them here too. Good luck for tomorrow, may the sun shine!

DH is doing the bedtime routine tonight, and I can here joint teeth cleaning over the monitor. Very funny.

As for the snooker, I can't watch. Ronnie's lost his nerve. Sob.

BettyOff Mon 05-May-14 20:53:33

Eco I'm a wee bit older than that, I've been qualified 7yrs, plus I love darts too! It's always nice to challenge expectations!!!

Sounds lovely Doli.

We did indeed go and had a potter round some fancy gardens and a farm. DD went potty for petting the lambs, calf and piglets. She needed a bit of persuading to stroke rather than whack though, it's a good job our dog is so patient!

Plonkysaurus Mon 05-May-14 22:03:24

Busy busy weekend here so just ducking in to say hello, sounds like you've all had lovely weekends - even Betty who, despite working like a trooper also managed a day out (how do you get the energy?! I suppose working in the nhs is sufficient training though!)

Doli new venture sounds exciting. How on earth you managed a swim is beyond me but so pleased you did. If I'd have known how truly rotten you'd been having it id have been wandering around Kent, laden with meridian produce searching for a sobbing woman in a field. Glad you've had a lovely day.

Eco BBQ sounds like perfection. Not sure I do anything surprising. And yy to mud and flower beds.

We've just got back from the PILs. Spent some time in their field inspecting the beehives, looking at coots, moorhens and tadpoles, watching the whippet bounce around and generally having living the bucolic idyll for 24 hours. Until bedtime when I had to squish into BILs single bed with a rather distressed ds. Thankfully BIL now lives in Oxford so no awkwardness, just bloody molars.

Spent a lo-ho-ooot of time discussing the house we are yet able to afford. Aargh. But not enough aargh to ruin the weekend. Also got treated to fancy pants fish and chips by the PILs. And ice cream. So now I'm tucked up in bed with a cuppa and I'm letting that lovely cosy feeling spread from head to toe. Dp has tomorrow off work (I don't) so for once I'm off the nighttime hook, and so happy about it.

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Mon 05-May-14 22:19:40

I'm really struggling to keep up at the moment. There's so little going on in my life that I never have anything to say then I lose you all!

Yummy are you feeling better? Definite synchronisation happening through the net - period here too which excitingly means the weight loss seems to have brought my cyst addled ovaries back to about a 35 day cycle. This is an improvement on 58... And this was the first post baby period that didn't have me in actual agony for 24 hrs. Hopefully it continues.

Im feeling sad tonight, the playgroup I go to religiously is shutting down. It has become such a huge part of my life, so many close friends there and dd sees the people that run it like family! We've been going for a year, and I organise my week around going!

Doli- hotel, local? Gissa job... I'm finding my current job really tough at the moment. I don't really like my current role and am considering going full time from September just to secure a role change/promotion. But right now I've got a project that I just don't seem to be able to get my head around. No one to delegate to, has to be sorted in the next couple of weeks. Not even really anyone to discuss ideas with. I'm having to fight very hard against the small child in my head shouting "run away, bury your head in the sand!!!" At the moment every time I think about it I feel a little bit sick with anxiety.

Plonk dare I ask how the wedding plans are coming along? Or is the topic verboten?

Snack ideas have been very helpful, I'm trying to rely less on biscuity type things and more on proteiny snacks. Cheese cubes a particular favourite here as well.

Walking coming along slowly but surely here, and we've had a nice day getting grubby in the garden. Dd has realised that daddy doesn't really like creepy crawlies, so we spent quite a lot of time finding earthworms today to show him!

Anypants Mon 05-May-14 23:14:27

gerry I too have recently felt the loss of a baby group shutting down and ruining my weekly schedule. They moved it to another centre but I went along and hated it. The woman that ran the old one was a superstar and a few times we went (just after Christmas) it was just us and her and it was like a home from home. Now DD is too big for baby groups, we've been test driving toddler groups but as yet haven't found one that fits sad And I detest all the soft play places - especially since someone pointed out that they sell alcohol and I noticed parents sitting around drinking whilst their pre-schoolers terrorise the little ones and they don't care shock

Exciting news doli - a hotel? Fabulous. Like you say, employ the right team and all you'll need to worry about are the soft furnishings smile

yummychocolate Tue 06-May-14 02:03:26

gerry and any i totally get where you are coming from re playgroups. Since ds is old enough to go baby groups i haven't found the right playgroup where the older toddlers don't take over the group. My search continues.

gerry hope your cycle stays regular. Its nice to know when your cycle ends so you are armed with supplies for the next round and know not to wear white. Im feeling better thanks.

Nice project doli be prepared to work like you have never worked before. A lesson we learned when we opened the cafe is that once the doors shut work at the end of business work continues. The biggest headache for us was staffing. I hope you are succesful in the hotel project and hope to see a whole chain of them called dolicapax.

StormyBrid Tue 06-May-14 11:26:33

We skipped our baby group this morning. I just couldn't face the embarrassment of watching DD wipe snot all over every baby there. It's a good group though. At the children's centre, so there's parental involvement rather than letting toddlers run riot. Age 0-5, but the oldest there look more 3 to me. I suppose after that they're at nursery. But there's half a dozen small girls in the 12-18 month range so Fartypants has plenty of people to play with. And she loves the bloke who runs it.

Plonkysaurus Tue 06-May-14 12:05:17

If my workdays were different there's no doubt we'd be attending various baby things. As it is we've never been to a single one. Maybe I'll brave them with baby no.2.

Doli your hotel talk (and a very interesting online marketing seminar) have completely set my brain afire with thoughts of entrepreneurial success. I should know better, having grown up in a household with both parents being self-employed and the stress that brings - holidays cut short, many parents evenings missed etc - but I am really starting to want it for myself. Damn your eyes Miss Capax.

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Tue 06-May-14 13:15:24

Well, the good news is that today was our first day out of the baby room and into the toddler room. Totally different, far less personal, far less lovely. So next week being the last week is less sad. But I found out today it's been running for 35 years. They probably have 100 families there a week. There will definitely be mums going that went as toddlers themselves. I can't believe something like that has to stop because of a lack of volunteers (and before anyone mentions it, no, I can't volunteer myself, you have to be a member of that church, and I couldn't bring myself to do all the churchy bible-y bits, of which there aren't many, but it would be a little hypocritical if I got up and led the prayer...!

I notice none of you have offered to do my work for me today. Even though I said I was finding it very difficult. Well I'm now sitting with a cup of tea staring blankly at a screen, so I guess I'm doing it myself. Some friends you are...

Plonkysaurus Tue 06-May-14 13:20:09

Ditto Gerry. I have the blank screen of doom before my eyes. Swap? You can blog about the world's most boring company (apparently you're not allowed to say that though) and I'll have a direct effect on the lives of, oh I don't know, a couple of hundred school kids.

Or we could run away...to a vineyard...

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Tue 06-May-14 13:39:14

Ok, let's swap. You have remaining nap time (unknown length) to write 10 lessons. The aim of those 10 lessons is that 100 students will, at the end, all have produced coursework which will all be one grade above their (already inflated) target. Some of the students are illiterate. Some hate history. Some hate you. Oh, and you've just realised it needs 20 lessons, you don't know what the exam board are after, no one at the exam board will speak to you, and you've remembered that whilst you're a good teacher you're secretly a rubbish historian so can't even answer the question yourself.

Actually, fuck it. No one in their right mind would attempt the above. Vineyard it is! (I really don't want to write a marketing blog either, think I prefer my impossible task to yours!!)

BettyOff Tue 06-May-14 13:53:58

I would give them both a bash but I'm far too busy watching Downton & eating a box of 20 truffles, sorry guys! I've got a bonus day off & I was planning some Mummy/Baby fun but instead I've put her in nursery. She was awake and screaming from 3.10-6.05 and I just needed a bloody rest. I can have a bloody awful bash at both your tasks if you fancy a labour ward oncall on Thursday? It's good fun most of the time!

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Tue 06-May-14 13:57:47

Don't tempt me Betty, I very nearly went down the medicine route, and still now occasionally day dream about retraining, more realistically as a midwife but in my perfect world I would do your job but without on call and only Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm

I've just found "British history for dummies" on my bookshelf and it is helping. What does that make me?!?

Plonkysaurus Tue 06-May-14 14:10:51

Oh good lord no, I don't think teaching or medical-ness is my thing. My dream job would be thinking up ideas for tv shows, but I don't have a rhino hide thick skin or very many good ideas. Otherwise food technician. Not chef.

See, you lot go out and do amazing jobs that involve, like, making sure babies get to live, and that kids done some book learnin'. Me, I like to daydream. Thankfully my current role has that built in or I'd be stuffed.

I'm one step closer to having finished my day's work though so I'm planning on a good long run this afternoon. I say long, I mean as long as my lungs don't collapse.

Plonkysaurus Tue 06-May-14 14:11:31

PS Betty I have done would have done the same.

StormyBrid Tue 06-May-14 14:22:52

If we're talking dream jobs, I would quite like to be Susie Dent when I grow up. Or a tea taster. Or a proof reader, but I don't really know where to start on that one.

Plonkysaurus Tue 06-May-14 14:32:00

I do lots of proof reading Stormy - it's a job you can do freelance from home!

If we're talking who we'd like to be when we grow up then may I bagsy Lauren Laverne? I'd be crap doing what she does but I reckon if I was Lauren Laverne I could do what Lauren Laverne does really well. And look great while I'm at it.

yummychocolate Tue 06-May-14 16:24:53

My dream job would be to work on the set of Great British Bake Off.

gerry you put me off teaching. smile

Oh and if anyone wants to swap jobs with me feel free.

StormyBrid Tue 06-May-14 16:25:25

I'm told I'd need a portfolio to show prospective clients proofreading I've already done. Two undergrad dissertations, a PhD one, and a few scientific articles, all lost on dead computers. And I'm not sure I'd want prospective clients looking at the mountain of slash fanfiction I've proofread over the years...

Been jobhunting online. Hull's such a shithole, even Tesco aren't hiring. If anyone has any suggestions about what work I should be looking for, I'd love to hear them.

StormyBrid Tue 06-May-14 16:26:53

Must resist urge to comment on proofreaders who don't use proper grammar. The subjunctive is your friend, Plonky dearest...

Anypants Tue 06-May-14 17:03:29

I wanted to be a Blue Peter presenter but now I want to be Will i Am's best friend. And last night, I dreamed I was a midwife and delivered a 15lb baby boy. I was exhausted when I woke up so hats off to you Betty confused

Plonkysaurus Tue 06-May-14 17:32:18

Yes my written posts on mn leave rather a lot to be desired don't they? Thankfully I proof read copy, and frankly that leaves a lot to be desired too!

Plonkysaurus Tue 06-May-14 18:26:01

Oh that's nice. Dp's basically just said I'm a nasty cow. So that's two parts (or maybe three) of my life where I am scraping the lower end of inadequate.

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Tue 06-May-14 19:00:08

Oh plonk, I wish you didn't say such horrid things about yourself, you say such lovely things to us all the time, I wish you could do the same for yourself. I'd be willing to bet dp either didn't mean it, or meant it just in that second of anger and is already regretting it.

ecofreckle Tue 06-May-14 20:10:58

My phone is going to die shortly so I'll dip my toe into brevity and see how it feels.

Your work gerry sounds impossible. Teaching wise I believe that it's the calibre of your teaching skills that matter not your subject knowledge. You can't 'do history' really can you? That's like saying you must know everything that ever happened. History for dummies is legit. Today I trained teachers on how to deliver the new primary literacy curriculum through outdoor learning. Last night I was looking at the curriculum glossary checking my understanding of verb, noun, adjective, preposition and metaphor where correct grin Blagged! And a very lovely day it was too. Did you make progress with the impossible task is the end?

Plonky I'm guessing by now your man has seen the error of his comment and apologised? As wise owl gerry said you mustn't be so harsh on yourself. We all think you're fab. At everything. Except the subjunctive. Whatever that is wink

Any it's lovely to hear from you a bit more. How are things for you work wise?

Doli your business idea sounds exciting. I want to make a success of our tourism based business. I also want to be a midwife. And a nature therapist. And a waitress. Eclectic?

Stormy could you maybe ask on Facebook if anyone needs any proof reading doing? I imagine people would bite your hand off. That could get you some work to showcase as examples. Would that work? Sounds like an
excellent match for
your skills and life, career wise.

Can't remember anything else. I used all my brain cells up doing my first freelance day. We got very very wet smile I love summer rain. The teachers I was working with not so much.

dolicapax Tue 06-May-14 20:16:59

Plonky Gerry's right, you are about as opposite from a nasty cow as it is possible to be.

Stormy I'm confused, did you write or just proof read those documents? In either case you'll be able to get copies from the university, and use them in a portfolio. Failing that, offer to proof read a couple of items for free, as a way of getting a toe in the door.

As for other career options, why don't you aim higher? Get all your qualifications onto a CV, work on a personal statement (I imagine Gerry could help with that), and start looking for work in your field of study, or even general office admin. Temping is a really good way of gaining experience, and a good stepping stone to a permanent position. Have you signed up with any temping agencies? You get a better hourly rate for temp work, and because you are being paid by the hour can often work flexi time.

As for my dream job, it would have to be a mountain guide, or failing that personal trainer. There is no better place to be in the world than up a mountain.

Gerry yes, we are looking at somewhere local, but it would be a massive project, hence I suspect we will end up with somewhere further afield. It's all a but pie in the sky at the moment, but if it ever becomes a reality, a job is yours if you want it.

Another perfect day here today, because not only did we finally get an appointment booked for a heart scan, but dolitoddle also napped for 45min meaning I got another swim!

WottaMess Tue 06-May-14 20:17:11

You're not a nasty caah Plonk. I don't believe it. I might be right now blush but you've had plenty of opportunity to let your inner caah out and I've not seen any really likely looking signs wink.

I brought work home and should do it but have only just got DS to bed, desperately just want to sleep myself and may drink wine instead. Only there isn't any so will have to be brew which isn't the same...

Plonkysaurus Wed 07-May-14 07:30:31

Thanks everyone. I don't think he realised how upset I was, I spent the evening doing chores and giving him the cold shoulder. I have been a nasty cow in the past and this label sometimes gets levelled at me to shut me up - despite my best efforts to behave more like a fluffy hun. I don't have many friends because I use to have a very bad attitude. So it's a label that really hurts.

He tried to give me a kiss goodnight and I ignored him, because an apology would be more appropriate.

So I've not woken up in the best of moods. On the other hand ds is still asleep! I'm wondering if I could get him to take ds to nursery so I could have a swim before work. Would be a lovely luxury.

Eco your day sounds great! Those people surely won't forget what you've said in a long while, what a great way to make it a memorable day. And...dare I ask? Any movement on the mortgage?

Gerry I agree with Eco on course stuffs. History is a biiig topic. Someone I know got through a classics degree without ever reading the Iliad because, frankly, she thinks it's shit. It might be me. Anyway my point is, you can do everything all the time. Hope your job becomes less stressful though, it's not for the faint hearted is it?

Nap sounds gorgeous Doli, fingers crossed she starts to realise they keep mummy sane! When you say hotel would be further afield, any chance you'd be looking at the midlands? grin

Wotta did you sink into your sofa with a cuppa?

dolicapax Wed 07-May-14 10:45:54

Plonky I hope you got that swim, and it's made everything rosy again in your world. We all know you're lovely, because you care about how we are feeling, so please don't think bad things about yourself.

That nap yesterday. Jinxed last night. Up for two hours, with, and there is no polite way of putting this, farts grin! Honestly, how someone so small could contain so much wind, I have no idea, but looking on the bright side at least most of it is out now. DH was a star and did half the shift, despite having work today, so Eco that medal you took off him, can he please have it back?!

Eco your first day in the new role sounded great. So glad things are working out. I loved outdoor lessons at school. I suspect I had rather less dedicated teachers than you and Gerry as our outdoor lessons mainly involved wandering about looking for leaves, but when you are 6 that has a certain appeal.

It's about to pour, which is where a half built conservatory is really handy. Guess where the washing is?

StormyBrid Wed 07-May-14 11:50:34

They are champion farters, these toddlers, aren't they? My phone wanted to change that to garters.

A little late to the party, but Fartypants has started doing the bum in the air yoga pose. She seems to enjoy being Weird Angles Baby.

As for me, I'm applying for a job!

StormyBrid Wed 07-May-14 12:55:55

Argh. The bit where you ramble about how amazing and awesome and well suited you are for a job? That part's hard.

WottaMess Wed 07-May-14 13:59:14

Ooh! Exciting Stormy! Can we help?

Plonkysaurus Wed 07-May-14 14:07:04

Doli it became a lunch time swim. And sauna. So good.

And god yes, wind! DS doesn't suffer too much these days unless he's been at Grandma's but when he does, boy do we know about it. But he's in the habit of waking at 4-5 every morning. Not for the day, just cuddles and usually milk. So we're trying to break him of that habit, and last night he was very obliging. Having said that, we'll likely get the windypops tonight.

What's the position, Stormy? Talking yourself up for a job is hard - the trick is to be shameless. Something along the lines of 'I'm the greatest thing since sliced you-know-what, and I know about subjuwhatsits' should do the trick.

Work has completely fizzled out today what with cancelled meetings, cancelled courses and a new path opening before us, so I'm having a ME DAY. It's great.

BettyOff Wed 07-May-14 14:08:50

Ooh Stormy what's the job? I'm excellent at writing bullshit that's how I got into medical school so let us know if we can help!

Plonk and Something DD and I watched Tangled at 5am after a particularly wakefulness screamy night, excellent stuff. I love a bit of Disney!

StormyBrid Wed 07-May-14 14:27:32

I can write bullshit very well, just not when it's lies about me! It's sixteen hours a week in a supermarket, so not exactly aiming high, but financially doable and would mean having a work/life balance. And the man's caved re: baby number two. grin

dolicapax Wed 07-May-14 14:28:05

Good luck Stormy! You're giving me the kick I need to really focus on my next role in life too. If the hotel thing happens I'll be responsible for accounts, budgeting, performance analysis, and such like, which should keep me busy. If it doesn't, then I will need to find something else to keep me out of trouble. What's the job you're up for?

Plonky a lunch time swim sounds like the sort of tonic I would appreciate too. Glad you were able to fit it in. Given dolitoddle is currently napping (high five), I theoretically could have had another freezing dip tday, but the ominous black clouds put me off. Not because swimming in the rain is a problem, which it isn't, it's just more water, but because having to do a super quick exit, cover the pool, run around in a panic, fall over in a puddle, and generally freeze half do death when she wakes up because the pram cover has leaked on her head is a bit of a bore. Perhaps I'll go tonight instead. Or perhaps not grin

Betty there I was thinking I had a less than great night. I take it back. There may have been farts, but we were at least spared Disney. Water and tummy rubs were all it took.... times 50... that being the approx number of wakes we had!

DH is going to be home early tonight, by 7pm, yay. There is talk of going over some hotel accounts when he gets in. Those'll be the accounts I claim to have read, but actually haven't. Best jump to it.

somethingbeginningwith Wed 07-May-14 19:56:54

And I'm finally getting around to posting on the new thread. I just haven't had anything interesting to say. I still don't really but one mention of Disney and you've got me wink

betty I love Tangled! Much better than Frozen, in my opinion and I can give you a list why and if you have to be up at 5am, then you may as well be up with Rapunzel!

Good luck with the application stormy. I have an interview tomorrow that I've sort of talked myself out of going to. It's essentially a good job but the location and the thought of starting yet another new job is putting me off. I feel like I've just got this one I'm in now, it'd be good to stay for a while really. Plus, I'd have to call in sick to go to the interview and I don't get sick pay.

I'm jealous of the swims...well, saunas really! I've almost convinced myself to run home from work tomorrow. The only problem being I'd have to run back to get the car hmm

DP and I took a very overtired DS to Frankie and Benny's tonight to celebrate being together 9 years today. We're now continuing that celebration by one of us playing Call of Duty and the other lying on the bed. I'll let you figure that one out...

Shatteredmamma1 Thu 08-May-14 06:38:13

Just place marking so I don't lose you again grin hope everyone ok. TEETH also happening here- molars I think. Poor boy. I miss my sleep....smile

Shatteredmamma1 Thu 08-May-14 06:39:01

Ps something good luck if you do go for the interview.

ecofreckle Thu 08-May-14 20:15:01

hello from the bath smile

I can report that sausage casserole does not freeze well. Yuck! The vegetables had no resistance to my bite. Bleurh. Must dash down soon to grab emergency Vouvray and éclair.

Stormy, a second baby has been agreed? This is big news for you. So, what's your plan with regards the man and a future that doesn't include his communication stuff annoying you? Have you got that far, or have you crossed the first (baby shaped) hurdle? Pleased for you either way as I know it is important to you.

Plonky did DS remain obliging last night with no early morning milk requirements?

Something did you go to your interview in the end? How did that pan out?

Doli, DH has his halo back so medal passed back, yes. grin Did you finish your hotel homework in time? Good chat?

Shattered the teeth thing is seemingly never ending eh? Let's focus on stormy's knowledge that they come in batches and we've not many more batches to go.

Rainy all day today. We managed to have elevenses at a friends house and lunch with another friend. We were given our fourth gift for Ecotod that is vintage children's wear. Lovely. Is this a thing that I missed?

We donned full waterproofs and walked to park which was deserted (not much in the way of nutters around here) and had fun. Mostly licking the small pools of rain that gathered on the play equipment. Nice!

Despite our sleep history histrionics at bedtime do not happen. Except tonight. They were short lived but it's left me wondering what's up. Maybe she hated the sausage casserole too smile

Plonkysaurus Fri 09-May-14 07:42:14

Mushy dinners are so underwhelming. I'm currently eating lukewarm porridge. I could microwave it but too many years of 'gerrit down yer' as a child dictate otherwise.

Sadly ds didn't repeat his sleepy no milky trickery. Yesterday morning he woke at 4.30, had milk and went back to sleep in his own cot, which I'm taking as a victory anyway seeing as I had to get him up at 7.45! Dp and I were wide awake at 5am though. We may have tired ourselves out with an early morning sexy time blush. So the sleep is steadily improving.

How did dd sleep? Hope she saved the histrionics for just bedtime and not 3am.

Stormy is it all hands on deck with Operation Fartypants mk2 now then? Anything specific that won him over? Just so I know for future reference.

The teeth thing must be true. He's had 6 teeth for at least 6 months now and they all sprouted within a fortnight. I can see 4 clearly waiting to pop up. Although I know lots of other countries just aren't arsed about teething and don't attribute whinging and arseiness to that wonderful catch all.

Ds is trying to say sock. But he can't. Nowhere near. It's very cute though - he meanders over to me, sock in hand, places it on top of his foot and pronounces "bob". But not really bob. Imagine a French person saying bob and that's kind of it.

Dp is out with work tonight so I have a evening of wedding prep ahead of me! eco it most definitely is looming now! Only ten weeks now I think.

StormyBrid Fri 09-May-14 08:49:04

Tea tends to be mushy here too, which I don't mind too much, but it would be nice to have a big plate of nice slightly crunchy vegetables for a change. DD only eats then if they're boiled to death and mashed. So we keep having Special Mash - normal and sweet potato, cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, and a bit of grated cheese. Even have to mash beans for her. Spoon skills coming along nicely though. God, I miss big lumps of meat.

Plonky, it was a lengthy and complex conversation spanning several weeks. Not sure how much would be relevant to you. What's DP's current thoughts on Babysaurus Junior?

The plan involves me getting a job first. He can't support us on full time hours because he's prone to black pits of depression, and working full time doesn't help with that. One working and one not means just child tax credits. Both working means working tax credits too. Without them things would be very tight and we'd be stuck in a two bed. Actual babymaking is scheduled for next year - I'm going back on the pill until New Year.

Mainly though, I spun him all the positives, talked him round on the negatives, made him see the finances could work, and, most importantly, made it clear that I couldn't be with him if another baby wasn't an option because the years of resentment would destroy me. And kicking him out has concentrated his mind rather well on what he stands to lose if he won't have another. It feels a bit like blackmail, but I'm thinking that, though he shouldn't have to have kids he doesn't want, I don't have to stay with someone who doesn't want the same family as I do. Also I pointed out that if I find someone else who wants kids, it's not going to be practical having him round visiting DD all the time, and he'd have to make his own arrangements... Basically I explained both options and their ramifications in great detail. And I also pointed out that not wanting kids, abject terror of fatherhood, all hassle and responsibility and no fun, they were his main objections before DD, and I told him then that he'd love her once she was here. He conceded I was entirely right on that one.

In other news, we have bumpy gums again. I think canines are considering putting in an appearance...

Plonkysaurus Fri 09-May-14 09:24:36

It sounds like you've really managed to communicate and compromise. Well done! I think you deserve one of eco's medals.

Dp isn't averse to having another, but as it's not at all on the cards right now he refuses to talk about it. Because why be logical about our future? No I can see his point but it's infuriating! Thankfully were on a path that should see us ttc in a year or less - and I'd rather ds is at least 3 before becoming an older brother, to minimise his anxiety etc.

somethingbeginningwith Fri 09-May-14 12:14:22

stormy brilliant that you're both communicating well and that things are looking up. I've decided that we'll be ttc again December 2016. I said 'I've' because DP would want to ttc now if given the chance.

So, instead...We're going to look at puppies tonight grin I'm so excited so we're taking the deposit in the hopes of finding our new furrier baby!

I didn't go to the interview. I rang them and they were so nice. I just think, if I'm going to leave a 'meh' job then it needs to be for the dream job, and where this one would be a foot in the door of an industry I ultimately want to be in, the location and hours wouldn't suit so I could see myself resenting it in future whereas I'm 'ok' now.

Teeth are buggers, aren't they? I reckon the recent bout of sleep-crying and late-night-cuddle-giving is due to 2nd molars.

eco your rainy park fun sounds lovely. I'm totally stealing the idea when I'm next off with DS in the rain. And how adorable was EcoTod on the roundabout?!

dolicapax Fri 09-May-14 16:18:21

Stormy very sound reasoning and with every angle covered. DP didn't stand a chance! Seriously though, very happy for you.

Something aww cute, puppies you mad mare. I love puppies, but every time I get one I swear never ever again (and last time I really meant it). An apt analogy is nappy-less toddlers on speed.

Teeth here too, so I'm preparing myself for the inevitable sleep regression. Oh joy. She's napping again though, so at least that little hurdle in the road has been negotiated. I have a suspicion that the whole nap refusal thing was down to the weather. When it is warm she won't sleep. When it rains she will. Summer should be fun then.

Eco the hotel chat went along the lines of, there is a reason why so many hotels are in administration, and it would be infinitely more doable if you could buy them without the existing staff. Redundancy costs would kill us, and I have no faith retraining could iron out entrenched ways of doing things. So, hmmmm, not sure, but not closed that door yet.

As for today, it has been a good day. I was fully prepared to have to sit and watch while the plumber drilled up the kitchen floor tiles... but he found an alternative route. The man is a whirlwind of mess and destruction as a rule so this was quite out of character, and I now love him a little it.

Am I the only person who gets irrationally mad at people who dare ring at nap time.... and don't get the hint when I let the answer phone click on, and ring again angry. I have just unplugged the phone grin

Plonkysaurus Sat 10-May-14 11:47:52

Very quiet here.... Is everyone ok?

StormyBrid Sat 10-May-14 11:57:10

Fine here, just fretting over the man's zero hours contract. If he doesn't get at least five shifts a week, he's not hitting the 16 hour minimum for tax credits, which is problematic.

Meanwhile, I found an old CV in my gdocs, which is clearly tailored towards admin/office work. Is anyone free to help me turn it retaily and make it look shiny?

Plonkysaurus Sat 10-May-14 12:06:21

Stormy send it my way and I'll have a look. 6 years retail experience - 3 of which on a retail grad scheme

StormyBrid Sat 10-May-14 12:17:06

Need your email address, Plonk. Also found a position that looks great, receptionist in a doctor's surgery by the look of it, full or part time permanent, well over minimum wage. So I need tailoring towards that too!

ecofreckle Sat 10-May-14 19:47:52

Doli showers and sunshine today. What does that mean for dd's naps?! confused Half and half. And pleased to hear your tiles escaped unscathed. I once watched my carefully sanded and treated floor boards get the 'inconsiderate work man' treatment and I felt like strangling him. Plumber as well. The worst sort! I get very nunty about people whe double knock at the door when I'm bathing or putting Ecotod down for a sleep. Double knocking full stop might be unacceptable.

Plonky. Morning sexy time? shock Whatever next? You'll be telling us your chicken has done four dinners and that your df is never leaves the toilet seat up! Actually, thinking about it, I can do three dinners from a roast chicken and dh never leaves the seat up and..... er....that's it. grin Oh, and ten weeks is definitely a loom. Get much prep done? What were you working on?

Stormy I'm happy to help CV wise but I think you've found the best woman for the job already. Good luck.

Something how were the puppies? What breed are you going for? I saw a lovely pug Yorkshire cross today. It'll be hard work for sure, but fun.

Ecotod is doing a few strange/amusing things. Any of your do these things?

1 come up behind you, always in kitchen, put arms around both of your ankles and stare up at you through your legs, even when you walk from oven to fridge?

2 take food out of mouth and then offer it to you. Most often half masticated sultanas.

3 find something furry (dad's fur lined hat, cuddly toy, blanket, even the furry bits of the 'that's not my....' books) and lay it on the floor, lie down, resting face on the floor and suck thumb. Wherever, whenever. Often with bum in air.

Just us then? grin

Stormy we now have dancing to normal music. I say dancing, it's more bobbing up and down vigorously with smile on face. Lovely.

More cream teas and national Trust explorations for us today and shortly a TV dinner in honour of eurovision. The smart money (dh) is on Poland's busty wenches.

Night night!

ecofreckle Sat 10-May-14 20:00:08

Forgot to mention, we're going worm charming tomorrow. I felt I ought to tell you all so as to live up to my nutter status. I've been quite sensible recently.

dolicapax Sat 10-May-14 21:26:41

Eco thank you for reassuring us all that you are absolutely the nicest nuttiest person ever, and we love you for it. Worm charming indeed. I had no clue such a thing existed, and now must google.

As for naps, rubbish. In fact the whole day has been rubbish. Teeth made for a rough night, and a stroppy day, and a difficult settle. Fingers crossed she makes it through to at least 3am, but I don't hold out much hope.

Odd cute things here, well eating wool is one. I'm kind of anti wool eating myself, so tend to fish it out her mouth, which has given rise to a new game. She pulls fluff off her jumper with her front teeth, giggling and watching me, then runs off to the sofa and bounces up and down with her back to me, glancing over her shoulder to check I've noticed. My chasing her and trying to retrieve the wool is beyond hilarious. Allegedly.

Stormy another offer here of CV review if you need it. Sounds like you are sorted though. Dr's receptionist sounds like a really nice job, fingers crossed for you.

As for me I've managed to fritter the day away with boring chores, and a shopping trip. I hate shopping trips, especially when they are as depressing as this one. Dress shopping for a wedding. The thing about weddings is you have to wear something a bit special, but not too special, and not white, or cream, too short, or too long, or even vaguely like anything you actually happen to have in your wardrobe, and will most certainly never wear again. Which is tedious. As is the fact I am either an 8, or a ten, depending which bit of me you are dealing with, making dress shopping a challenge or a bore depending how you look at it. I found something though, is Phase 8, which although a little staid, is a very flattering cut, and makes me look as if I have model proportions, which I most certainly don't. Looking on the bright side this is the very last one of my friends to be married, so until the divorces and second marriages come round (probably depressingly soon) I can avoid such trips for the foreseeable.

Plonkysaurus Sat 10-May-14 21:57:59

Doli We've been doing a bit of dress shopping too. Trying to find appropriate dresses for two bridesmaids - one of whom is a size six with humungous boobies, and the other will be about 7 months pregnant. I delegated the dress hunt told them to look for themselves and amazingly they've managed to find things in the same bloomin' colour! Huzzah. I am so over wedding shopping now. So much so that I'm getting married in totally inappropriate shoes.

Eco you mad mare. DD like scrabbling around in the dirt? Good girl! DP tried to put Euroshite on. I complained. Loudly! And yes, we were 'up with the lark', so to speak. I can't see it happening again any time soon.

I'm ker-nackered. DP rolled in steaming at THREE FORTY FIVE AM. Cue disturbed baby and lots of swearing tutting from me. Wanker.

DS is quite clearly struggling with his molars now though, and his mood flips from happy as Larry to beside himself with rage. The separation anxiety is rather apparent as well now. I went for a run earlier - cue him looking under the door for me, and HUGE tears. But when he's happy he's so funny. I flopped my head back and stared at him out the corner of my eye, and that was hilarious, apparently, so we've done lots of that today.

He's also a natural mover and loves to dance. Ballroom if we have the energy, but otherwise a good bop/mosh along to anything, even those bastard Tweenies. I was most impressed to see him wiggling about to Ian Dury earlier.

dolicapax Sat 10-May-14 23:10:12

Plonky vegan shoes! Go join Eco on the bonkers bench grin. That said, they say hippy cool to me, and look very comfortable. It's going to be one of those laid back picture perfect days, I can just tell. So excited for you.

StormyBrid Sun 11-May-14 01:42:52

Picture the scene. It's 2005. November. Damp and miserable. I'm in Exeter, where for the past six weeks I've surrounded by middle class southerners with a work ethic, and cursing St Cyril. Twat-faced bastard, doing that shit to nouns. They shouldn't decline like that. And they all had plans about their lives, and none of them knew how to drink, and they all had Mummy and Daddy paying their pocket money still, and I was coming to the realisation that if you're going to be miserable then you might as well do it at home with your friends around you.

A ray of sunshine! My brother came to visit. We hit the nearest pub, on the grounds that a) it shared a name with the local in EastEnders and b) it was just up the road. It was like being home, with a proper drink and a proper accent and a proper smug bastard of an older brother. Naturally, we hit the pool table. He's a sod, my brother. He's spent his every spare moment for the past fourteen years playing pool. He's beaten people with world ranking points. He could beat me with his eyes closed.

He did beat me with his eyes closed. And one hand behind his back. This may in part because I was on my eleventh double whisky, but I suspect he could do it sober too. It was the most embarrassing defeat of my life, and I've never let him forget what a massive hairy stinking bell-end he is for doing it, because I am ashamed.

I beat him three times tonight.

I beat him! I won! And it was actual skill! And we were only playing his standard handicap, the one where he gets free reign until he's on the black and then he has to pot it in the pocket of my choice. And I won!

And then he wanted a one handed game because he wanted to be the smarmiest git faced git of a brother ever. And I won.

I won!

This may be the happiest night of my life. (This is why DD needs a sibling.)

eco I like to view the offering of half-eaten view as a positive sign that Fartypants is grasping the idea of sharing at an early age. It's a good thing, albeit a bit slimy and grim.

Plonky the last wedding I bridesmaided at, the bride didn't wear any shoes. How could yours be inappropriate in comparison? It's all about perspective. At least you will be wearing shoes!

I appear to have turned into a massive lightweight. Bed beckons!

Plonkysaurus Sun 11-May-14 05:48:17

Well ds made it to 5.20 before requiring my services. And he seems to have popped back off in his cot a treat. I am having no such luck. Milky bugger.

So obviously congratulations are in order Stormy. I love beating people at pool. Especially if I've had a few cos it's maths and angles innit!
Oh and even the plummiest person I know decided against Exeter uni on account of its 'sloaniness'. Tbf she is a ridiculous hippy too, so hardly a shock, but she has one of those posh London voices that travels across rooms, like whatserface from Mary Poppins but without the softness. Bit barking when pissed. Naturally loud. Says rarspberries and cannot get her mouth around the word 'pasty' (as in Cornish). Love her to bits but she makes me sound like a right northern monkey and I'm only from the midlands

No wonder you couldnt hack it.

Doli I've got vegan shoes, I use reusable everything - face cloths (for removing makeup), mooncup, cloths for wiping ds after a session at the trough meal, cloth nappies and wipes of course... I'm not sure if it's eco's influence or the fact I'm home more and was seeing the level of waste having a baby can inflict on ones home, but I was disgusted.
Admittedly I saw the shoes and thought 'ooh! Vegan!' Which is a bit ridiculous for a meat lover. But there we are.

Eco I can get three meals from a good size chook. Otherwise two. Mostly because chicken is like crack to me and I would stand there pulling it's wings off and eating them, scraping the bones to get the oysters out and eating them instead of wrapping it all up and putting it in the fridge. By the by did you hear about the magic mn mince? Apparently reasonable to feed ten people with 500g. Just saying.

StormyBrid Sun 11-May-14 11:18:22

I'm sure Exeter has its charms. I just felt outclassed there. And the entire place was vertical, which I didn't approve of. Hills can be a bit of a shock to the system when you live on a flood plain.

Feeling a wee bit delicate this morning. It's mystifying. I only had four pints and a shot of sambuca. I can see the future, and it involves bacon sandwiches...

dolicapax Sun 11-May-14 11:34:45

Stormy I went to Exeter, the campus is gorgeous. Hills or no hills, where else has a botanical garden on site? Oh ok, maybe Oxford, but I have always discounted Oxford on the basis everyone I have ever known who has gone there is more than a little weird. It's like weird is an entrance requirement (disclaimer: anyone on here who went to Oxford is obviously the exception to (my) rule).

As for being outclassed, no one out classes you Stormy, because everyone is equal. Some people just think they are better, but they aren't, and mainly they are just knobs insecure. I wasn't one of the posh kids, or the rich kids, and admittedly avoided them, because they defined the word tedious by their very existence, but in the 90s it was easy because they all applied on mass to Jesse Montgomery Hall, and the rest of us didn't.

So far I have spent the entire morning washing, ironing and cooking. Hurumph. If I were the queen I would delegate such tasks to minions, but as I am not I will crack on with it instead.

Plonkysaurus Sun 11-May-14 18:34:30

So. Ds can climb stairs now.

StormyBrid Sun 11-May-14 19:05:55

Ah, but has he mastered the art of falling down them yet?

Plonkysaurus Sun 11-May-14 19:22:43

Oh yes. Doesn't miss a trick that one.

WottaMess Sun 11-May-14 19:38:52

I start by saying that I didn't go to uni so have no alma mater. However, rest of the recent conversation... Coughs blush. (You're right though, there are some Sloany beggars there and no mistake wink).

Nice shoes Plonk - at least you'll still be capable of standing at the end of the night - or maybe not, but it won't be because your feet hurt! grin

We bought shoooos today . Well pre walkers as DS still can only toddle hanging onto two fingers one finger and an Ella's pouch for some unknown reason but he wants to do it ALL THE TIME and doesn't accept that he can't in the park when he's only wearing socks... So now we have bloody expensive rubber soles. He wasn't sure at first but seems to have got the hang of it. smile He's a 3f (but he is only little).

WottaMess Sun 11-May-14 19:40:00

Hmmm. Strike though seems to have gone a little crazy there... blush

BettyOff Sun 11-May-14 20:02:18

Evening all. I'm trying out this MNing in the bath that Eco and Plonk race about a tenner says I drop my phone though as I feel I deserve a soak tonight.

DD has been ill since Thursday and we've just been stuffing her full of drugs and I took Friday off. Her temps were up hugely and then yesterday we lips went blue and her HR went to 180 so we payed A&E a visit. She rallied within 5mins of arriving and we wanted to take her home but because of the blue lips thing they refused and threatened to send the police after us if we left shock so we sat in a cubicle ignored for 4hrs with a DD that got exhausted and beside herself and couldn't fall asleep on me. I was beyond furious. They finally let us up to see the paeds team and within 10mins of seeing the bloody obvious (child with a virus that took a bad turn but was now much better) they let us go home. My complaint letter is being typed tonight!

She's a bit better today but still clingy and DH and I have had a huge row culminating in me telling him that if he didn't man up, start taking some responsibility for his life/relationship/house/any bloody thing that needs doing and start treating me a bit better and feeling less sorry for himself all the time he would be leaving our house and our marriage. We've had smaller discussions about how unhappy he's making me at the moment and he promises to do stuff and then ignores it because he thinks all will be ok but I don't think he was expecting that. I just don't want to be taken for granted for the rest of my life and him to think its ok. It was a very sad conversation to have and I hope it's sunk in now because if not we're in serious trouble hmm. Having a little one really does expose the best and worst bits of a relationship doesn't it?

Anyhoo I'm now enjoying a long soak and when I get out I'm having an amaretto coffee and some ice cream.

Plonk, good choice on the wedding shoes. I love a quirky addition to a wedding outfit! I had wedding wellies and wedding trainers as well as my fuschia shoes!

I hope everyone's had a better weekend than I have!

Stormy congrats on the pool win! I'm still dining out on the one time I beat my Dad at darts!! wink

Plonkysaurus Sun 11-May-14 20:30:29

Woah Betty I think a soak and boozy coffee/ice cream combo is an absolute must. What a shocking weekend. Poor DD, that must have been so stressful for all three of you. And bloody doctors - you'd have thought if they were that concerned they could have seen you quicker and popped her on a ward? Not that I know how these things work, it's your zone after all.

Really hope the little chat you had with DH has the right impact on him. It's shit that you were kind of forced to do that but these things are always better out in the open. You both have such demanding jobs, and you really do seem to take a hell of a lot in your stride. You know where we all are if you need to blow off some steam.

Wotta yes I did think of you shortly after I posted. Needless to say I went to Brum to delay my adulthood, and came back six years later talking like a yamyam. The little shoes are gorgeous, no? DS is finally also getting the hang of this, but he's yet to start carrying random object. They usually get eaten before he can take them on tour.

WottaMess Sun 11-May-14 22:35:59

Oh Betty, I'm just off too bed but couldn't not post! Hope you're feeling better for a bath and some pampering and I hope dh pulls his finger out and steps up. Hope bettytoddle is on the mend too. wine

WottaMess Sun 11-May-14 22:36:26

To not too obviously!

dolicapax Mon 12-May-14 10:00:57

Betty sending a virtual hug your way. I really hope dd is on the mend and DH is pulling his socks up. He bl**dy well ought to be. You've had a really tough year, with hardly an unbroken night, and he should be stepping up and taking his share of responsibility.

dolicapax Mon 12-May-14 15:15:25

Oh crap, I've killed the thread again. I keep doing that.

All sorts of fun happening here. Not. In fact it has been so quiet that the toddle actually went to sleep in her pram... so I decided to take full advantage and jump in the pool. Which is when the electrician turned up, and bellowed 'hello' from the other side of the garden. So I jumped out, frantically miming 'Shhhhhh' at him. On the plus side, madam did not wake, on the minus, I was freezing half to death, in my swim suit, in front of the electrician, who was making unreasonable requests like could I open the gate/garage/back door, when all I actually wanted to do was a) put some clothes on, b) have a very hot shower.

I am so looking forward to the day when all the work here is finished, hence no unexpected randoms will turn up at inopportune moments. Sadly I suspect that might be never.

ecofreckle Mon 12-May-14 20:02:49

Hi Doli. Hi everyone else too! It's been incessant rain here today. And yesterday. And the last seven days actually! We headed to the library but got soaked on the way. Well, Ecotod didn't as she was under her rain cover today chilling in her buggy. As an adult I have a thing about being cosy in a small outdoors type place. Cosy from the rain and wind and cold. Like in a hut, shelter, summer house, tent or den. I like to think it's because it reminds me of happy times in my buggy when I was a nipper. I used to get given the milk loaf to hold when mum had been to the bakery. I used to bite the end off smile Not sure where that nostalgic dirge came from....

The worm charming yesterday was pretty funny. It was pouring with rain. The babies 'helped' by stamping up and down and hitting the grass with beaters. We came second to last grin Also we decided to take babies for a boat trip on the broads. We thought the visual feast would keep them entertained. We were wrong. It was us, our friends whe also have a baby, another family and the aged skipper. We had been instructed to HOLD TIGHT TO THE BABIES. If there's one thing (other than nappy changes) that Ecotod is not keen on it's being restrained. She's constantlm wanting to be free should have thought that through ahead of boarding boat perhaps She howled. That made the other family a bit grumpy and it was hard to hear skipper pointing out broadsy things. So I delved behind the life jacket and layers of waterproofs to find my boob which was quite a feat. Getting Ecotod close enough to latch on was tricky because she too had a fat life jacket on grin She thought all her Christmases had come at once as she's not had day milk for a while now. Peace descended and I was able to chat to skipper about traditional broads sailing craft much to dh's amusement. To give him his due the skipper didn't bat an eyelid. Extreme breastfeeding part 75. Been ages since I've fed in public and it feels so much different now dd is person sized. You feel the same Betty and rainbow, or should I just get over myself!?

Betty you poor love. How has today panned out. Was the ultimatum helpful for dh? It's such a period of adjustment these first two years (according to friends and books), I guess it takes a while to find our new groove. I'm still looking for mine and dh gets fortnightly show downs.

Doli I think the electrician turned up unexpectedly hoping he'd find you in the pool smile What's left after the conservatory? It all looked pretty peachy when I visited.

Plonky what's a yamyam? <dunce> And, tell us about your seating plan! Great work!

Wotta shoes are a real milestone I found. Lovely. Little sausage will now walk within days just to demonstrate how much money you wasted

Stormy, how is the CV looking? When is your deadline?

Am home alone tonight but headed to bloody Bedfordshire tomorrow for some company for the rest of the week. What shall I watch on Iplayer tonight ladies?

BettyOff Mon 12-May-14 21:27:25

DH came home with a large bunch of flowers and a real life apology. Fingers crossed he's starting as he means to go on. I think you're right Eco, we just haven't quite adjusted to our new life yet but hopefully it'll come.

Eco you brave thing! I haven't done a public feed for bloody ages and you're right, it does feel very different when it's a child sized one with shoes and words and teeth! Also I agree about the cosy rain love, it's my favourite thing too. I love being in an outdoors shelter with a blanket for a snooze and I too can firmly remember being under the rain cover in my buggy all snug and happy.

Doli I'm so jealous of your quick dips in the pool but not so much of the electricians intrusion!

I can't remember back any further than that, sorry!

Today I braved baking with DD and made cinnamon swirl bread buns, madam had a whale of a time chucking flower about and helping me knead it and sneakily eating lumps of raw dough and the results have been demolished. That Paul Hollywood really knows his shit!

Plonkysaurus Mon 12-May-14 22:05:34

Eco you mad 'un! Love it though, your adventures sound so much fun.

I too remember my buggy with it's toasty navy blue foot muff and sturdy raincover. And the child minders dog bounding happily along with us.

Doli all I can think of is an electrician trying to get a peek of a frozen nip. My foul little mind blush. Shame he ruined your lovely swim.

Betty it's a massive adjustment eh? Keep those lines of communication open, it sounds like he heard you <wise>. Paul Hollywood also knows the directions to the local sun bed... Hehe. Baking sounds great!

Early night for me. Those molars are a right bunch of knob eds, and I've got my gym induction tomorrow. Night all x

Anypants Mon 12-May-14 23:28:02

I've been lurking again and unable to post as I keep running out of time - DD is soooo quick running around tge house destroying things that I am compelled to clear up in her wake and therefore can't do jack until she's gone to bed. And then it's dinner, clearing up and all the other fun chores before mn even gets a look in. Harumph. Can't remember who asked but work wise, I am in the throws of setting up a Newborn Photography business. I've done a few with friends now so just need to get on the marketing and wait for the bookings to come flying in... hopefully hmm

Betty words, you say? Alright then, what's the vocab de jour? DD clearly said 'done' this morning when her porridge was in the microwave (and she pointed). Otherwise still on Mama, Daddeeee and teddah. Anyone got a real actual perfect word yet?

StormyBrid Tue 13-May-14 08:28:16

We've had two proper words. Baby, which she seems to have forgotten again, and bye, which accompanies waving. Her understanding's getting brilliant though. If we're elsewhere and I mention going home, she waves and says bye to everyone. If she's kicking off I can distract her by asking her to find a particular toy. She's got the hang of sit! but we're still working on stay!

Attempted but still mispronounced words are: miuk (milk), beeeah (bear), dat (cat). Animal noises she's mastered are cat, monkey, and lion. And she sings row row row when she wants me to sing. Far too cute.

Plonkysaurus Tue 13-May-14 09:31:07

That's very eloquent Stormy! So far we've had him bringing me my keys and then waving bye bye (guess he'd had enough of me) and he says 'yeah' a lot. Both in and out of context, but I'm taking it as a win.

Everything is Ber, Der or Bob. Or Berb. He's a man of few words.

rainbowtoddle Tue 13-May-14 10:57:03

eco I feed DD in public still very regularly as she still demands day milk frequently (by yanking down my top or pointing and yelling bo bo which I actually love!). I never really stopped feeding in public so doesn't feel that odd and I have only ever got smiles from people. Tbh it was such a battle to breastfeed at the beginning that I am still proud that it's so easy now so I think that makes it easier for me to care at all what people might think of how I look! Love your adventures - although won't be going on a boat anytime soon as that sounds stressful!

betty we have had similar episodes with DH here - I just think it's much easier for them to overlook the grind of babies. Glad you guys patched things up.

BettyOff Tue 13-May-14 11:51:36

It's tough isn't it Rainbow? Hopefully all these DHs will settle into their adjusted lives soon.

Miss Madam point blank refuses to say Mama or any M sounds at all which is bloody typical but Dada, yes, more and down are fairly clear. If you ask her if she can say Mummy she says 'yesss' and toddles off. She also makes a good effort at dandan (grandad), bedda (Betty) soos (shoes), nown (nose) and dod (dog) and Stormy she also does row, row, row about a thousand times a day

I've got a day off and DD is in nursery so I had a mega lie in, a very long shower, have just taken the dog for a good long muddy hike and now need to tackle the mundane jobs before I spend the afternoon getting reaquainted with my sky plus box!

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Tue 13-May-14 15:11:22

We don't have many words here, still no mummy or daddy, we have 'caaaaaaa' which is mainly cat, but is used for any animal. We have either 'ready steady go' or 'one two three' - if you can imagine those two sounding the same in their tone rather than the actual words. And we have 'erro' but only when picking up a phone, not when actually greeting people. Several seriously cute 'copying mummy' things though, including shhhhhhh complete with finger to lips, attempts at hair brushing, putting paste on toothbrush, sweeping floor.

Lots of understanding though, nods solemnly in response to every question, rushes to stairs if bath time is mentioned, can find bunny, point to noses, tickle daddy. Goes and finds shoes and heads to front door of I say we're going out. All super cute.

Last session at my beloved baby group today. Plenty of tears, Tuesdays just won't be the same.

Sorry for radio silence, it's may. And may means exams. As does June actually. So I'll see you all in July!

StormyBrid Tue 13-May-14 15:23:02

Since my last post we've acquired another word. A perfectly pronounced no. She's been practising it a lot today!

dolicapax Tue 13-May-14 15:24:02

Stormy genius baby! Nothing here. Nada. Lots of Mamamamama, and bah and gig feature regularly. Mamamama doesn't however mean mummy, and bah and gig are just babble, so I think it would be fair to say talking is not her strong point.

Understanding is better. She'll set off towards the stairs if I say 'let's go upstairs', 'nappy' has her heading off towards the spare room where the changing stuff is, pudding and fruit prompt a renewed interest in lunch, She'll look for the dogs if I say their names, and DH if I say dada. 'Monkey' makes her giggle and run away as it's what I call her when she's eating wool. I think there is probably more, but it's hard to say when she can't confirm.

Nothing much happening here today, which is lovely, and a relief after I had both the electrician and the builder pottering about the kitchen last night when I was trying to feed the toddle. Despite doing my best to communicate 'please leave' without actually saying anything, they thought they'd be nice and hang about to play toddler friendly games with the small one. She was thrilled. Me, less so.

Eco on the subject of builders what's left to do here is sadly much. Landscaping, driveway, patio, and outbuildings are next on the list, plus coach house if DH get's his way. I'm discouraging that. I'm not sure what it would add to our lives other than hassle. Plus at the rate our builders work I'm fairly sure we'd be 6ft under before they'd finished.

Big day tomorrow, it's dolitoddle's heart scan. I'm 99.9999% certain it'll be ok, as she's a hyper active bundle of energy and built for wrestling not ballet, so ailing isn't an adjective I'd use to describe her. Then Friday the PILs are coming down to look after madam, so that DH and I can skip off all day Saturday to a wedding. I have never left her for a whole day before. I'm not sure who is more nervous, me or MIL!

StormyBrid Tue 13-May-14 17:44:10

Nah, not a genius baby. Perfectly normal. As is dolitoddle. Normal development covers quite a variation at times! We still mainly just have babble, though it's clear at times that she means something, we just have no idea what. Genius baby would be, I dunno, full sentences or something. Not expecting those for a good while yet, alas.

It's my birthday tomorrow! <overexcited bouncy icon>

Plonkysaurus Tue 13-May-14 18:55:47

Ooh happy soon-to-be birthday Stormy. How are you celebrating? I presume you've got the night (and following morning) off duty?

Doli we have lots of babbly noises in place of words too. Sometimes it's as though he's telling me something that's really very important, with all the right intonation and facial expressions, just no bloody words. I thought of you this evening - ds was climbing the stairs and insisted I carrying the cats food bowl.

Hope you get the right result tomorrow - it sounds like she's doing very well though as you say.

The house sounds gorgeous, but exhausting. I wish I had a coach house! I have neither coach nor house, just a rather battered vw polo and a rented shack.

I am exhausted and the bloody BNP's party political broadcast is on telly and I can feel the anger rising! On the other hand I get to curl up with a book and eat a big bowl of chili (eco not quite brave enough to attempt all that in the bath but it's one of my goals). I really ought to do wedding-y things but I just can't muster the get up and go.

StormyBrid Tue 13-May-14 19:13:09

I turned the BNP one off. Just couldn't face it after the English Democrats one the other day <shudder>

Plonkysaurus Tue 13-May-14 19:16:42

That was a cracking piece of comedy. Anyone who thinks the Roman built 'adrian's' wall is the epitome of Englishness must be a comedian.

dolicapax Tue 13-May-14 20:36:03

Stormy I switched the English Democrats one on half way through and thought it was a comedy spoof thingummy. Then I realised it wasn't....

Carrying the cats food bowl is very important Plonky. It's not quite a tea towel, but he's getting the general idea, so well done that boy grin

As for the house, it brings to mind the Fay Weldon short story about period houses. They lure you in with their charming looks..... drive you mad... bleed you dry.... wreck your marriage.... and spit you out ready for the next naive London couple. Ours has more or less ticked every box, with the exception that we are still here and are not yet bankrupt!

DH is on settle duty tonight, so I'm aimlessly pootling in a lost kind of manner. However, on the basis last night took 4 attempts over 2 hours, due to (ahem) farts, I don't consider myself off duty yet.

yummychocolate Wed 14-May-14 06:50:57

Morning ladies. Just saying hi and will catch up properly later. I went to Brussels for a couple of days.Ds had his first holiday abroad. He loved it but it was very tiring. Ds still decided to wake at 6 this morning.

Now I have to get ready for work. Have a nice day.

Anypants Wed 14-May-14 10:21:04

We had a 6am wake up call this morning too - and I didn't sleep at all last night, despite DD sleeping like the proverbial. sad

Feel like a zombie but have to go shopping with the MIL - if I don't leave her stranded in town, it'll take every lasy piece of restraint... wine

rainbowtoddle Wed 14-May-14 10:36:57

eco I came across this article about full term breastfeeding and breastfeeding culture in Mongolia and thought you might be interested in it www.momzelle.com/blog/2009/12/breastfeeding-in-mongolia/

StormyBrid Wed 14-May-14 11:06:55

How do these 6am wake up calls go then? Fartypants often wakes up around then. I ignore her. She chats to herself and plays with her toys for a while, then she goes back to sleep. Do Anytoddle and Yummy Junior not do that?

So far for my birthday, I have four cards (three birthday, one graphics), a framed picture of me and DD when she was tiny, and the curse. Also some peace and quiet, which is not to be sneezed at!

yummychocolate Wed 14-May-14 11:23:29

stormy I leave ds to play in his cot and he chats to himself too. The issue is I can't go into a deep sleep knowing he is awake. It is the anxious parent in me. I lay in bed for about 20mins before he decides he is bored.

yummychocolate Wed 14-May-14 11:24:08

Happy birthday stormy!

Plonkysaurus Wed 14-May-14 12:01:13

The curse, Stormy? I'm trying to imagine what that could be but all I can think of that you're either on your period or you've woken up as a pirate.

For now I'm happily imagining you with a peg leg and a parrot on your shoulder.

Happy birthday, all the same!!

6 am here usually means getting up. If he's already slept 11 hours there's no chance of him going back to sleep.much like me, ds is a lark and will not be settled by ignoring, milk or toys in the cot. Ideally we get up at 7. I keep dreaming on 7-7 sleeps.

I ran for 1 mile straight today without stopping so I'm feeling rather full of myself <preens>. Now the trick is to not venture into the bakery when I go to fetch ds.

rainbowtoddle Wed 14-May-14 12:27:07

DD wakes at six, latches on and then we cuddle and snooze till 7-7:30am when she starts to stroke my face, beep my nose and put her face to mine grinning. The best alarm clock ever!

Happy birthday stormy!

somethingbeginningwith Wed 14-May-14 14:06:22

Happy birthday stormy The curse sounds frightening. I also hope it's pirate-related.

eco It feels like you asked me this years ago but, we did get a puppy. A beautiful, little springer spaniel. He'll be coming home in 4 weeks when he's 12 weeks old. He's so squishy and perfect grin

As far as words go here, we used to have row, row but he's now decided to stop that in favour of "rerrrrrrrr". He says "no" while shaking his head so that must apparently be something we do a lot here. He knows how to get what he wants though. We too had an early start here which meant that DS and I had to share a shower/bath; he made it very clear that he wanted the plug in so, once I'd unhooked it from the tap, he put it in, then pointed to his toothbrush while saying "uh uh uh." At least I know what he means. I usually leave him to play in his cot until it's mummy's wake up time but I was up today anyway.

No childminder today because of the pox. I say the pox, what I mean is, the pretend pox. 5 days ago, DS got a total of 6-8 spots and no more but CM wouldn't take him today "just in case".

I am now completely redundant at meal times. DS takes the spoon and fork and smears food all over his face, and if I try to help by trying to put some in his mouth, he has a meltdown. So, meals are very messy now.

Hope dolitoddle's heart scan went well doli and enjoy the wedding!

BettyOff Wed 14-May-14 16:49:10

Happy birthday Stormy! winewinethankswine

WottaMess Wed 14-May-14 18:31:36

Happy birthday Stormy and hello Doli how'd it go?

dolicapax Wed 14-May-14 19:09:58

Happy Birthday Stormy winecake. What do you mean toddlestorm wakes up and chats to herself before going back to sleep again??? This is a concept I do not understand. I understand: wakes up, chats a bit... chats a bit louder... tries an introductory yell, and then screams for attention.

Dolitoddle's scan went really well, which is a relief. She has two small holes in her heart, but these will not affect her health or life in any way, and do not require any treatment. Other than annual scans, there is nothing we need to do about them. I guess that means it's back to the dreaded nursery soon! Well not too soon. I kind of like having her toddling about the place. Most days.

Having a slight crisis of conscience today as I have seen a job I'd really like, and am actually qualified for. Just a temp contract, but the pay is fab and it would be a great way of kick starting my CV. It would mean putting the tiddler in full time child care, which given I would be at work at nursery drop off and pick up times, and do not have any family to help out would realistically mean a nanny. I've always said I'd never get a nanny. I would also miss her terribly. DH would like me to stay at home but knows better than to have an opinion on this iykwim. I would love to get back out into the world, but.... Hmmmmm

rainbowtoddle Wed 14-May-14 19:41:27

doli we have a nanny and she is brilliant. Follows my instructions to the letter and as a result basically parents DD the way I would. I would definitely recommend it as a childcare option. Having said that I am always in the house working from home and I think I would feel differently if I was going out to work everyday so it really is a tricky one. Really pleased to hear the heard scan went well - must be great to have that weight off your mind.

something I recommend embracing the mess of mealtimes and occasionally having non-messy food for a break! DD finally seems to be learning to use her fork and spoon properly so things are getting less and less messy which I am grateful for although anything containing tomato or berries is always messy whether utensils are used or not! We still have a massive oilcloth slashmat on the floor which is saving my beautiful floors!

Plonkysaurus Wed 14-May-14 20:20:13

Great news then Doli. So glad to hear it, you must be so happy!

Re nanny...well I would bloody love a nanny! I think if you can afford one then it's probably the best form of childcare you can get. You don't have to worry about missing out on toddler groups etc because nanny can do it all. She can work to your hours. If dolitoddle is poorly nanny will still be there. If you are poorly nanny will be there. And no having to get dolitoddle up and dressed and raring to go at silly o'clock before a long work day.

Fwiw my mum basically got a nanny when I turned three and started school. Up til then I was at the childminder but she retired and mum was in the same conundrum you are. When DSis and I were at school during the day she ran errands for my mum and also helped out in their office, and did all school runs. She even tried to run in the parents race on sports day, but considering she would've only been 28 (and in fantastic shape) at the time it was considered cheating.

yummychocolate Wed 14-May-14 20:36:07

Good news about the scan doli. Glad to hear all is well.
If you can afford a nanny go for it. At least dd will be cared for in her home environment. Saying that every childcare option has negatives and positives. Do what you feel is right for your family.

something meals here are messy too. Ds is getting better at using the spoon but is determined to independantly use the spoon.

We now have a new phase. Anything ds gets hold of is thrown out of the window. I have a rebel on my hands.

Plonkysaurus Wed 14-May-14 20:51:41

Oh bugger.

Ds has been difficult to settle the last few nights, and fighting bedtime for a good hour each night. When we'd finally gotten him off to sleep I picked up my now cold dinner and thought 'poor teething baby', because teethings such a handy catch all. DP then asked if it could possibly be a wonder week.

So I looked in the book. And what did I find?

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Wed 14-May-14 21:59:36

Doli you've made my day with the dolitoddle news. As for the job. It's a tricky one. I'm considering going full time from September, depending on whether I get my dream role which my insiders tell me is being advertised next week. I know I love working, I'd be going from 3 to 5 days as opposed to 0 to 5, and I get 13 weeks holiday a year. Yet I'm still terrified of the idea. I can't imagine how daunting the thought must be. When you say temporary, how temp? A few months? A year? Would your professional conscience stand up to quitting mid contract if it didn't work out for you?

I guess you've got to ask yourself what you would regret more- missing the opportunity to reignite your career, or missing the time with dolitoddle right now (am I right in assuming the plan is not to work full time forever, but as a stepping stone toward finding something part time?) what's the reason behind the no nanny thing? I think if we could afford it it would be my childcare of choice. Mainly for the reasons listed above, especially the one about not having to get us all up and out of the door for 7! Actually- spend the days with your beautiful daughter in your beautiful house? Do the dogs need walking too? Scrap my job, I'll do it! (I'm aware that's the second time in a week I've shamelessly begged for a job... Do you think I might be ready for a change?

Our day started at 4.50 today. FOUR FIFTY!!! Do I win? I have no idea what happened there, it's usually sometime between 6.15 and 6.45. It wasn't as tragic as it sounds, DH is up at 5 anyway and my alarm goes off at 5.30, but it didn't half make my morning complicated having her around. Then she only had an hour's sleep at granny's, and that was this morning, so you can imagine how much fun bedtime was here. Can't believe that only 3 months ago she was tending to sleep for 13 hours overnight and 3 hours in the day. Think it might be time to buy some thicker curtains...

Happy birthday stormy! Although I fear this might be too late, I hope you're at the pub and, if reading this, seeing it at least twice, if not thrice!

Off on a hen do this weekend. First nights away from dd, I'm excited and nervous in equal measures. She's at a funny stage at the moment where she seems to save all her whinging for me, and then is clingy and cross with me in equal measures. So it could be interesting for DH. Who, incidentally, has asked for written instructions. Is it just my beloved who still needs this after 14 fucking months?

Rainbow, welcome back!

Anypants Wed 14-May-14 23:24:03

A little late to the party but Happy Birthday Stormy! Hope you're not reading this at all and out somewhere supping a nice Prosecco wine
Gerry you are not alone with the instruction manual requesting DH - still have to prompt him with stuff as it's been so long since he last fucking did it and he always shouts 'where's the [insert item here]?' when said item is in the place it always is, but not necessarily where he puts it back.

Anypants Wed 14-May-14 23:26:05

Oh and excellent news Doli - glad dolitoddle is ok.

Still zombified (and didn't abandon MIL in high street) so off to bed with some wine Nytol

yummychocolate Thu 15-May-14 20:39:19

Where is everyone?

Alexandra6 Thu 15-May-14 20:44:45

Hi, I hope you don't mind me stumbling in with a question! My baby is 5 months now and I've heard rumours of an awful 9/10 month regression. I THINK all of your babies will be past that point and was hoping to find out if you went through this and how long it lasted? I've got a holiday booked for then so am trying to prepare myself! Thanks

StormyBrid Thu 15-May-14 20:50:14

Nine slash ten months, eh? That'd be Christmas through into January. Right when DD decided she was dropping to one nap. Hadn't realised it's a known sleep regression moment.

Alexandra6 Thu 15-May-14 20:53:41

How was she at night stormy? Did she seem happy enough in herself? Will I have a good holiday? wink

BettyOff Thu 15-May-14 21:02:55

Alexandra I am not the person to ask I'm afraid!

Everyone else, 4am is not morning. That is mostly what I have to say this week.

In other news I've started The Shred and it hurts but I'm enjoying it plus I've dragged DH along for the ride but he'd kill me if he knew I told you

Doli I'm so pleased it was all ok. In terms of work, what is the likelihood of a similar opportunity coming along once Dolitoddle reaches school age and would you be happier doing it then? As Plonk said, do you think you'd be able to leave if you weren't enjoying the balance? Plus I don't think a nanny is that much of a disaster. If it wasn't both so expensive and so complicated it'd be my first choice too!

yummychocolate Thu 15-May-14 21:11:54

alex I remember that stage well. We had a sleep refusing baby and it stressed me out. Holiday may be different though as your baby may be too tired from the holiday to refuse naps. I think sleep regression or not going on holiday with a baby will be a bit hard. Hope you all have a lovely time.

Alexandra6 Thu 15-May-14 21:21:56

Why's that betty, did you have a rough time?

yummy I don't suppose you remember how long it lasted for roughly? We're going when my baby is 44-46 weeks (just before 10 months)

BettyOff Thu 15-May-14 21:34:08

Alexandra we have neither great progress nor regression, instead I have the magical non-sleeping baby.

dolicapax Thu 15-May-14 21:40:43

Alexandra 6 month sleep regression is the worst. I'm not sure I even noticed a 9-10 month one as we were still going through the 6 month one. Personally I wouldn't worry about that on your holiday, as the fact you will be out and about all day hence totally off routine will have a far bigger impact day to day. It'll go one of two ways. Either dc will be so exhausted from all the fun they'll sleep like a log, or they'll be so wired they'll stay up all night. With dd it's usually the former, which is kind of cool. Fingers crossed for you.

Loooonnng old day today, as someone (DH) got up before 5am, and turned all the lights on hmm, and someone else (Dolitoddle) wasn't in the mood to go to bed before 9pm tonight. Did someone say the magic words wonder week earlier, because that would explain a lot. Madam has had a right moo on for a while now. If she knew how to stamp her foot she'd be stamping it. Instead she has settled for doing the archy back thing when picked up, and kicking me in the ribs. Plus the holding arms out to daddy thing and pleading to be taken away from bad horrid mummy when ever he enters the room. Honestly. Kids! What is it about the parent who is rarely there?! hmm

Thanks for the words of wisdom on the job front. I've talked it through with DH, and the decision is I'll wait until the autumn. Two reasons: 1. the economy is picking up, so although this is a good job it's not the only job, and 2. DH is thinking of taking a 3 month sabbatical over the summer and it would be a once ever chance to take some time as a family and do a bit of travelling.

The nanny thing, is my issue really. I grew up in a family where although I was undoubtably loved I was always made to feel like a massive inconvenience to my mother. I guess it was the era of children should be seen but not heard (and preferably not seen), but she really did take it to another level. So, I have a certain level of insecurity about handing the toddle over to a substitute mum, in case she should ever feel the same way. It's the worst thing for a child, feeling unwanted. Plus in RL the only person I know who has a nanny really is an emotionally cold dead fish of a woman who 'lives for her child free weekends' and has no real warmth towards her kids. Which is where you guys are so helpful, as none of you are even remotely like that and yet would be happy with a nanny. So, the conclusion is... I need to get over myself!

Oh good. DH is finally on a plane so will be home about 1am. Super. He gets me up at 5am, and wakes me up again at 1am. It's like having a newborn in the house. We'll gloss over the fact he is living these hours too. He is being paid to do so!!!

Plonkysaurus Thu 15-May-14 22:31:22

Alexandra we had the 9 month regression but seem to have bypassed the others. Going on holiday is neither here nor there for us because I'd do the same wherever we were - milk, cuddles, co sleeping for sanity. Good luck!

Betty the shred you say? Just follow Anita. Don't even let your eyes hover to the left of the screen for even a second or YOU'LL CERTAINLY DIE. I think. I'm considering signing up to a class at the gym called Thump! and I'm quite frightened. Based on my body weight I could apparently lose 800 kcal in 1 hour, so I think I'd be getting an ambulance home.

Doli the sabbatical sound amazing! DSis is hoping BIL will get one for autumn term (they're both lecturers) as their baby is due in September. I'm so jealous/pleased for them!
What a fantastic opportunity.
And dunna worry about the wonder week. Would you like a gin? Now they're toddlers I think we're about to discover the magical calming properties of gin and its stick in the mud pal, tonic. Ds has had a moo on for a week now, but I've discovered the magical calming properties of bananas and soreen - like crack to toddlers, they are.

And pfft I was essentially nannied. And I'm essentially fine.


Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Thu 15-May-14 22:52:11

Alex, don't tell Betty but I have a magical sleeping baby. We had a 4 month regression, but nothing since apart from the odd snot/chickenpox/teeth related night. In fact here, at 9/10 months, dd was going through her stage of sleeping 7pm-8.30am then 3 hours in the day. But she is a bit weird. Sigh. I miss those days. Wonder if we'll make it to 5am tomorrow...

Anypants Thu 15-May-14 23:16:33

Alexandra I think you need to get yourself familiarised with the Wonder Weeks - they've been spot on for ys and every time I started doubting my sanity when DD suddenly behaved completely differently/stopped sleeping, it was down to one of those bad boys. If you know what it's about and when it's coming you can prepare mentally. Accept it and roll with the punches and ride it out - it'll only be a temporary change and then they come out the other side all sunny and like 'what? I'm just lovely, me' grin Oh, and get plenty of wine and brew in wink

StormyBrid Thu 15-May-14 23:21:02

Our night sleep was indeed buggered. Well and truly, for two solid months. Entirely snot related. It gets hard to tell what's attributable to what at times. We had a resisty sort of bedtime, in which I went upstairs repeatedly to investigate the loud banging noises, and each time found Fartypants lying sideways at the foot of the cot, legs up the bars, idly kicking her heels with unseemly force. Must get Wonder Weeks book back from SIL tomorrow.

Highlight of my day was DD gently stroking my dad's beard while meowing. Lowlight was a nappy change I will probably laugh about in years to come, but for now am still traumatised by. I unfastened the sticky tabs and reached over for a wet wipe. She grabbed the front of the nappy and pulled hard. There was actual flying poo. And on that cheerful note, I'm off to bed!

WottaMess Fri 16-May-14 06:40:29

Doli I am so glad for the good news! Genuinely cheered me up.

Alex generally DS is like Gerrybaby, a sleeper. Wonder weeks not such a perfect barometer for us, like Stormy I think we got interrupted by the snot which arrived at Christmas and has never really gone away.

Get lo used to a travel cot, or at least mix up where they sleep a bit. DS sleeps brilliantly but is getting harder and harder to get him to do so anywhere not his own cot. However, aside from being ill and the whole family living at the doctors, January was fine... I'd rather have been in holiday grin.

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Fri 16-May-14 06:56:38

Actually thinking about it, we went away when dd was 8 months old. Even though she had a cold so wasn't sleeping brilliantly at night, I still felt really rested because during her morning nap I sat on the balcony and read a book instead of doing housework, and in her afternoon one I had a little siesta instead of trying to get loads of marking done! In the evenings, we'd go through our normal bedtime routine but then out her in her buggy instead of to bed. Stick a snooze shade over her and go out for dinner. She slept the whole time, including when lovely old Greek women in every restaurant we went to insisted on having a peek!

Plonkysaurus Fri 16-May-14 07:11:07

Right, that's it. I'm buying a blackout blind. Today started with a 5.

StormyBrid Fri 16-May-14 09:41:52

My sympathies, Plonk. On the plus side, it's only a few weeks till midsummer. Then the darkness comes back, slowly but surely. And this time next year DS will be big enough to bribe with a gro-clock.

Fartypants keeps yanking my top down, presumably to check my boobs haven't fallen off. This morning she went one step further, and spent quite a while investigating my nipple. Should I be discouraging this on the grounds that it's inappropriate?

Plonkysaurus Fri 16-May-14 10:53:49

Small kids are obsessed with boobs. FACT!

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Fri 16-May-14 11:00:41

Nah stormy it's just a thing, tell a tiny they can't play with a thing and they'll want to play all the more. She'll get bored soon and find something even less appropriate

Plonky, we've got a blind, but it's so light now we're going to have to add curtains to the mix. Our last 3 days have also started with 5s.

45 mins til I drop dd off with my friend and head off on a hen do. The 12.39 train is an ok time and place to drink one of those little cans of gin and tonic, right?

somethingbeginningwith Fri 16-May-14 11:40:15

plonk we have a blackout blind but thinking about getting the travel blackout blind back from my mum because sun still comes in through the sides and the top. And the blanket I've put over it doesn't seem to do much good and is unsightly The travel ones are so good because they suction to the window. Although, the past two days I've had to wake DS to take him to CM at 7:15. I think a day beginning at 5 would kill me. I woke up at 5:59am today (one minute before my alarm) and that nearly did it.

He had a FOUR HOUR NAP for DP on Wednesday and DP went to wake him because he was worried. Why can he not do this when I have him?? They know, don't they? They just know.

gerry I got asked, around 10am today, if it was too early for chocolate. I, of course, answered "it's never too early." My answer is the same with regards to your gin. Gerrit dahn yer neck!

stormy DS is fascinated with DP's nipples. He'll stop whatever he's doing if he catches a glimpse of them. Doesn't seem bothered about mine. DP finds it weird, I find it hilarious.

doli so so pleased for Dolitoddle's results. So glad all is ok smile

Perfect weather for a BBQ this evening, I reckon. DP is on meat defrost-duty when he gets in from work and I will take my place on meat eating-duty!

StormyBrid Fri 16-May-14 11:52:05

It's never too early for gin, is it?

I've not been making a big deal out of DD's boob obsession. Hoping she'll just grow out of it soon. I did have to tell her not to bite though because only Daddy's allowed to bite there

Have reacquired WW book. Apparently the hell starts at 59 weeks. We're 62 weeks now and I hadn't noticed!

BettyOff Fri 16-May-14 13:04:26

Stormy I know it's over-familiar Friday but my word winkshock tries to remember lost days of raunchiness

And no, it's never too early for gin. Although I seem to have gone 80's and am having a Cinzano and lemonade with our picnic in the garden!

Gerry I've just spied a pic of you and FB and you look great! How much weight have you lost now? When's the big jump? Please remind me to sponsor you!!!

Anypants Fri 16-May-14 19:22:36

What a flipping day. Up at 4.30 for an hour with screamy child then no nap at all today, unless you count the 30 mins in the car. I'm knackered. DH has been off wirk but 'busy' with other things. He disappears at 5.30 to do some stuff and I ask 'will you be back for bathtime?' He rubbed my shoulders, lovingly and said 'i'll do it tomorrow night'. If i'd had sharper cutlery to hand (DD's wouldn't have peirced the skin) I would have jabbed something in his hand. He also threw in a 'i've been busy too'. And i've just got DD to bed (rocking to sleep is now the only way) and he's not home. Stupid teeth. Stupid DH. Stupid fridge with no wine

ecofreckle Fri 16-May-14 19:59:02

Doli you've made my day with your news! excellent that the toddle is fighting fit and ready for nursery. The book 'how not to fuck them up' suggests nanny is best child care option if you can afford it, for a variety of reasons. I'd be ok with a nanny personally. And look at plonk....she's lovely. Also, I wonder if some of the women you know who had nannies were actually raised by nannies. Your dd will be raised by you and dh. Nanny would help. But sounds like, for now, it's on hold. I bet a sexy hotel comes up before you find a job smile

Plonky, I ache in my upper body. I could blame you! I did circuits one and two of the muderella training yesterday. yikes! Why don't I know what the shred is? Me being gimmersy again?

Stormy you mentioned the unmentionable. Let's not chat about the days getting shorter just yet! That's enough to put me off my éclairs. Thanks for ww heads up. I just got the book out. Ecotod is being a moody mare.

Gerry, tally ho! Have a fabulous weekend.

Any, wine wine wine When dh gets back send him out for some. Sounds like a trying day. thanks

Alex hello. We had great sleep until four months. Then it went to pot. Until we worked with a sleep consultant at eleven months. Three months on and we've enjoyed three months of great sleeps and naps. I think all babies are different and that second guessing won't work. We took our six month old for a month long road trip across USA when she was six months old and sleeping terribly. We still had a great time.

Just back to Norfolk from bloody Bedfordshire. There's no bath where we stay down there. How rude! I took moody mare to the toddler group in what we hope will be our new village. It was not my favourite thing to do, but I'm glad I went. I stomped there thinking 'but I have lots of lovely mummy friends, I don't want new ones' in spoilt brat manner, but it was ok. Couple or three mums chatted to me. Ecotod is familiar with babies her own age but hasn't socialised with older ones and she found being with big rough boys and girls quite hard I think. It'll do her good to have exposure to older ones I think. We also tried the local pub out. It's a proper local drinking pub and everyone knows everyone. Our hosts are going to take dh with them next week to introduce him to people. So I guess this is positive. Still no mortgage though. Sigh.

Rainbow thanks for that article. I loved it! Ecotod is in training to be a wrestler! It'll be hard to change the culture we have here in the UK though. If people like me are slightly reticent about feeding their plus one year old that doesn't bode well. I should really quit giving a flying feck what strangers think of me.

Can't remember anymore. Brain is full. We're having fish fingers for dinner. I think this may be a revelation on par with Sunday times reading....I bloody love fish fingers. It's the one pre prepared meal we eat. I think that might make me odd. But you lot will let me know!

Happy Friday! What are we plonk? Sexy Bastards?Or did I make that up?

BettyOff Fri 16-May-14 20:19:08

Eco you are spot on. We are sexy bastards and I've just sent knobhead DH out for sexy bastarding fish and chips!!!

You know it's been a shitty wanky day when you're looking forward to a weekend on call.

Wonder weeks, grrrr.

Luffs you motley lot though. Mwah. overfamiliar and well on the way to wine buzz which will be much regretted with 3am screaming and 5am alarm

ecofreckle Fri 16-May-14 20:26:24

grin Betty! I like a swear count of at least five smile Your afternoon sounds fun in the sun. Got to have fish on a Friday eh? Even if it's rectangular and covered in orange bread.

Alexandra6 Fri 16-May-14 20:33:08

eco - a sleep therapist?! What are your secrets? Please share! wow I sound desperate for decent nights grin

ecofreckle Fri 16-May-14 20:44:07

Ann from nurturing sleep is a goddess in my eyes Alex. She works for herself and is very wise. I've said before on here that I don't feel it's fair to regale the world with her tactics because she's developing her business and writing a book. Sorry to be square about it. It's not what a call 'mystical badger' though. Common sense stuff based around the idea of developing a child's sense of emotional well being. Developing a good relationship with where they sleep and being consistent in how you deal with wakings. I feel like working with her has given us a massive insight into Ecotod and we've a great foundation for our life together with her. I realise that sounds mystical badger grin

Plonkysaurus Fri 16-May-14 22:31:41

I don't have the mental fortitude to say anything clever, funny or heartwarming as I'm too full of melty chocolate pud.

So I'll just say na-night you sexy bastards. I hope you all enjoyed your bastard chips and bollocking wine/gin/fish fingers and I'll see you tomorrow.

Shatteredmamma1 Sat 17-May-14 06:24:10

Hello ladies. <waves> just marking place so I don't lose you again, got to go and get DS as he is up but agree with the WW-ing going on! Hope you're all ok wine for later smile

WottaMess Sat 17-May-14 07:02:17

Mamas taking us to the zoo, zoo, zoo... Guess what I'm doing in the nice weather today when the reason I'd arranged for my dm to help was so I could work but you only live once and this sounds more fun

Plonkysaurus Sat 17-May-14 08:04:09

eco the sleep consultant sounds magical. Not only for better sleep but in helping you develop greater understanding of ecotod too.
Ooh I must confess I've not yet tried the Mudderella training. I've been getting to the gym a lot and doing things badly on complicated machines, and my body does seem to be on it's way to 'well buff'. Hope the mortgage people let you buy somewhere soon! Are you still looking at the fixer upper?

Any you must have the patience of a saint. Mr Saurus occasionally pulls the 'I'm so tired' card and I do bath, bedtime, cook dinner, clean up, resettle toddlersaurus and eventually collapse. While he sits on his arse complaining. Caused us no end of problems. A bit of empathy goes a long way, but it absolutely works both ways and I hope he pulls his weight this weekend. How's the start up going?

Well last night we experienced the delight of midnight terrors. I felt knackered an hour ago but some poached eggs on toast for both of us and I suspect ds doesn't remember it.it was pretty bizarre though, I'm hoping it doesn't happen again tonight. A quick google suggests it could be down to molars (check), developmental leaping (check) or separation anxiety (major check). So does anyone have any tips for dealing with those things?

StormyBrid Sat 17-May-14 08:24:28

I believe the correct answer to, "I'm so tired," is, "Me too <quick cuddle> We just need to get x, y and z done and then we can collapse. You do x, I'll do y?"

Pretty sure I was supposed to be getting a lie in this morning, in exchange for letting the man watch the football here later. No sign of the man though. Grrrr.

Plonkysaurus Sat 17-May-14 08:33:02

Stormy that indeed is how it's meant to go. So easy to get bogged down in the competitive tiredness though isn't it? On one hand I'm not moving thousands of pounds every day and making important decisions quickly, like dp is. On the other hand that's really all he has to do (though he often does enough at home that we're both happy).

Ds is hovering between the table and arm chair, trying to figure out if he can make it from one to the other. It's a two and half food distance. I'm sure he can, but his dithering is very cute.

StormyBrid Sat 17-May-14 09:29:23

DD just had a screaming fit because I wouldn't let her smack me in the face with her hairbrush. Rather less cute!

Can't decide if today's going to be a good day or not. On the plus side, the man turned up, it's a glorious day, and the city is empty of football fans. On the downside, I was woken before 7am by a bunch of Catholic schoolkids shrieking as they boarded the Wembley bus, the landlord's agent is a robbing bastard and wants thirty five quid to renew the tenancy, and I'm not thin yet. Could go either way, this day.

StormyBrid Sat 17-May-14 10:32:20

What in the name of buggery do I put in a cover letter? Aside from "Please give me a job, I'm desperate, and I promise to work hard because I'm scared of being shouted at if I slack off. Pretty please?"

ecofreckle Sat 17-May-14 11:01:10

Stormy, be enthusiastic, explain why you're the right person for the job, tell them you want to work for their company, summarise your key qualities that they'd be interested in, say something positive like 'I hope to be able to demonstrate my suitability at interview'?Just some ideas from us (dh and I). Good luck!

Plonkysaurus Sat 17-May-14 11:15:40

Hardworking and conscientious?

yummychocolate Sat 17-May-14 11:21:49

Do people still do cover letters? If i was an employer a cv would be enough highlighting skills and previous experience. Reading a cover letter and cv is too much to read but if you want to do one stormy summarise skills saying why you are the ideal candidate for this job. Keep it brief.

betty speaking from experience one day your dd's sleep will improve. We have had two weeks of ds sleeping 6 hrs straight through and a couple of all nighters. Last night we had a blip because he was crying in his sleep but I think teeth attacked last night.

StormyBrid Sat 17-May-14 11:50:40

Jobsites still have room for cover letters, though they're optional. The hundreds of jobseekers applying so they don't get sanctioned are unlikely to bother with a cover letter there. All done now, and three more jobs applied for.

StormyBrid Sat 17-May-14 11:51:29

Downside to jobsites is I can't do as eco suggests, because I have no idea who the companies in question are!

yummychocolate Sat 17-May-14 12:11:44

Good luck stormy!

ecofreckle Sat 17-May-14 19:57:24

Plonky, melty chocolate pudding? <stamps feet and whines in manner of Ecotod> Where's mine? I'm not 'well buff' though so not as deserving as you. Did DS make it between the two furniture items? He's got such a jolly face Plonky, I love seeing him on Facebook. Ecotod has been shown a couple of videos and says 'baba' smile

Stormy I came to the bath three minutes before end of extra time and it looked like Hull had been robbed? Shame as they gave the rich kids something to worry about for a while. Maybe they scored and it went to penalties though!

Shattered how are things with you presently? We are ww'ing too. Fun not.

Wotta how did DS like zoo? We've only been to farms so far and she loved them. I can only imagine the joy of seeing actual elephants, giraffes, camels, lions, snakes and frogs (read dear zoo a few too many times here!).

Any how are things now? Any movement on dh's position?

Lovely day here weather wise. We headed to our local arts festival that's on at present and watched vintage cartoons in spiegeltent. Ecotod pointed at chickens and said 'bok bok' smile I had one of those obscenely huge crepes with Nutella and Ecotod tried her hand at eating cherries and doughnut peaches which are bloody lovely. Such is my enthusiasm for them I'd be prepared to lick the juice off her face following her eating them so as not to waste any grin

Oh and plonk, we had what we suspect to be first night terror last night too. Poor petals. We cuddled and sang and let her nestle into her rabbit. Fingers crossed these were one off events.

Anypants Sat 17-May-14 22:21:09

eco and plonky - trying day, again. DD had a lie in so I faced the day with a decent night's sleep myself. DH spent all day putting up a new fence. DD had a loooooong afternoon nap (after drugging her up to the eyeballs with calpol and dentinox) and I had two hours, one of which i spent helping him. When bathtime came around, I asked and got a look that could kill. I reminded him of his promise last night but his response was pitiful. He's in a bath now and climbing into bed shortly but I will bring it up tomorrow that despite my helping him (and he couldn't have lifted those fence posts and panels on his own) he doesn't return the favour. If he thinks that's unfair, divorce it is.

My photo stuff still needs a bit of a push to get it going - i'm finding no time to devote to it what with all the solo parenting. DD's christening is in two weeks so i'm only able to focus on that then it's full steam ahead. Will leave DD with my DM so I have no dustractions hmm

Anypants Sat 17-May-14 22:24:43

B*gger. Lost a very good post because my phone ran out of battery.

DH is rubbish. I helped him putting up a new fence today. He did not help me with DD. Reminded him of promise last night. Nothing. He couldn't do his job today without me so why does he think I can do mine without him?

Plonkysaurus Sat 17-May-14 22:36:43

Oh, Any thanks

I'm so tired I'm swing double but couldn't read and run. Will post properly tomorrow, but for now have a hug. And brew.

Anypants Sun 18-May-14 03:57:06

I can't remember the last time I saw the sun rise. Haven't actually slept yet. Dear god let the man do breakfast tomorrow or i'm going to LTB. angry

Shatteredmamma1 Sun 18-May-14 07:10:31

Just refuse to get out of bed any. Parenting isn't solely your job it's a joint effort. thanks brew. I'm angry for you. Hope you get some rest today.

Yes ok thanks eco. A lot on my plate at the mo and not in the best of moods. Cheer up me!!! hmm

Can't remember anything else, will scroll back and read. We love the zoo wotta hope you had fun grin

WottaMess Sun 18-May-14 07:17:44

Had a great time thanks Shattered grin

Any - agree. At this stage he's taking the piss. Someone asked about written instructions etc a while back and for us the answer is a resounding no as he does more childcare than me, since I went back ft and him pt. no one expects me to then need a manual, why should a dad? You both had a child. You both live in your house. I'm sure he's tired (I certainly an right now) but a decent slug of housework and some quality time parenting at weekends (or whenever you take your break) is only fair. Tell him it's his turn. Then, when you've had some sleep, you need to talk. Not row, but big talk. brewthanks In the meantime.

Plonkysaurus Sun 18-May-14 08:52:48

Right I'm awake now.

Any I second everything Wotta so wisely said. It's not like you have a helpless EBF newborn anymore. You have a little girl. She is a child, not a bomb that only you can diffuse, or she could go off at any moment. Aside from the tantrums/wonder weeking I'd say we're probably in one of the easiest stages of parenting. It is knackering, it's relentless, it's joyous, it only comes around once. It's something that should be experienced together - the good stuff and the bad.

Written instructions? Sometimes I'd like to leave them for DP because we do things quite differently when we take care of DS. I am strict with naps and food, and I get very stressed if DS won't nap or eat - but then I'll stick him in the buggy and walk with him til he sleeps. DP does none of those things, but I always come home to a happy father and son. And if I dared to suggest DP does things my way I'd get short shrift. All of this is actually great, because it means he's confident looking after DS on his own, and, most importantly, has figured out how he likes to do so. I don't worry about them together one bit.

I hope your big talk is a productive one. You know where we all are.

After that I must add...eco yes I broke the diet for one day. A big catch up with a long lost friend who I've missed a lot. She can't make it to the wedding so she insisted on filling me up with pizza, wine and oozy chocolate pud. Delicious!

Ugh. I'm trying to figure out if I'm late for my period. Coil went in at the end of my cycle on 25th of March. Since then I've only had one period. Shit. Better not be a shotgun wedding.

StormyBrid Sun 18-May-14 09:05:51

Don't be knocked up, Plonk, I've got my heart set on being the first of us to produce DC2.

Hugs, Any. We're here if you need to talk, or rant. It's funny how these babies change our priorities, isn't it? Is divorce likely, or is it the sleep deprivation and resentment talking? I hope you've had some sleep now at least.

BettyOff Sun 18-May-14 09:53:31

Any it's shit isn't it? thanks I've found frequent conversations of 'what about being a parent makes you feel like you have less responsibility for our child than me, why would I deserve less rest and free time?' sink in eventually.

Plonk, remind me again is it a mirena or a copper coil? Did you POAS before it was fitted?

Stormy I've never seen Hull as empty as it was at 7pm yesterday, the entire city was watching the match. Not a great day to spend in Hull as an Arsenal fan!!!

Plonkysaurus Sun 18-May-14 09:58:39

You mean you don't support Forest Betty? shock

It's a copper coil. I didn't poas first because it was fitted on the last day of my period, and have had one godawful period since. Hopefully I'm just late? Eek. Bad timing if not. I am starting to get periody type pains though so fingers crossed I'll be wailing and stuffing chocolate into my gob like it's going out of fashion later. Would hate to steal Stormy's thunder.

WottaMess Sun 18-May-14 11:01:11

I know copper coil can make periods super heavy but can it also stop them like mirena? I've always found with anything that might mean you have no periods, I have no periods. (Yay!) I have mirena (see previous comments) and avoided copper because periods when I do have them have always been super heavy to start with and I didn't want to take the risk (and I hate them grin). Hope it's just everything settling down.

Any, you woken up yet? brew

StormyBrid Sun 18-May-14 12:34:32

eco we were indeed robbed! Not that I give a flying wossname about the football, but I did enjoy the look on the Arsenal boss's face ten minutes in. grin

Betty what were you doing in Hull yesterday?

I must admit I'm baffled by the idea that you could ask someone who lives with you to help you with something, and they could refuse without a bloody good reason. If you're physically present, not about to go out or mid-poo or juggling chainsaws or whatever, then you help as needed whether you've a burning desire to or not. I take it that's not the way everyone else was brought up?

BettyOff Sun 18-May-14 13:16:42

Stormy I work here! I thought you knew that!

StormyBrid Sun 18-May-14 13:56:02

I had no idea! How long has that been going on? You should pop round for a cuppa on your lunchbreak or something.

StormyBrid Sun 18-May-14 19:00:36

That's assuming the NHS budget still stretches to lunchbreaks, of course.

Where is everyone this afternoon? Have you all melted in the heat?

ecofreckle Sun 18-May-14 19:55:10

Any hello, has today proved better than the last one? Did you have a good talk? I think I've said before that I think it's inexcusable not to take a fair share of household and child related work. I get angry when fathers suggest they are 'helping' rather than just doing what they should be doing. We all seem pretty unanimous on this so hopefully it'll help you with your resolve when chatting to him: you are not being unreasonable in expecting him to join in with the good and bad bits of parenting. I'm sorry that things have got this bad for you thanks

Shattered if the phone app would let you post photos I'd post one of Ecotod today wearing nothing but a grin and a bonnet in her paddling pool. That might raise a smile. But I can't, so....err...it's bank holiday next weekend! Will that do? You'll either have the day off or have a bumper crop of sunburned celebs to pap smile

Plonky, did your period arrive? That sounds like a weird thing to say to someone I've never met, not meant to sound stalkery. I hope that you are cuddled on the patio in the evening sun with some dairy milk and a pork pie. Your well buffNess earns you more than the odd day off the diet. And if the period doesn't arrive, shotgun weddings aren't that bad mine was fun and you'll be into your second trimester by then and still tiny but all glowy and vital. Positive spin for either outcome.

Stormy I didn't realise Betty worked in Hull either! Maybe she saw bits of you when you delivered dd. Now there's a thought.

Hot here, as everywhere I suspect. After a cream tea We spent a fair chunk of the day with Ecotod running around naked in garden in and out of the paddling pool. She even christened the pool with a poo. That was nice. Now I know how Betty feels when she peers into birthing pools.

Hot buttered and peppered asparagus awaits! Best dash.

StormyBrid Sun 18-May-14 20:07:08

Nah, I only had two midwives, one student, and my sister taking a look down there. Wondering if Betty worked in Hull when SIL had her caesarean in October though. And it does mean if dc2 turns out to be complicated Betty may yet see my innards. I'm not that comfortable with the idea, to be honest, but mainly because I don't like the idea of anyone seeing my innards.

Anypants Sun 18-May-14 20:10:23

Thanks for all the support chaps - it's been a fairly ok day here, despite everything. Woke up at 9 along with DD - DH was already outside doing more fencing. So I did breakfast angry and DH saw I wasn't right. I cried at him saying what a sh*t night we'd had and he said he had no idea and gave me a cuddle. DD and I went to church (her christening in two weeks so had to put in an appearance) and my M & D came too and took her off me and gave me lunch after. Got home and DD had a good nap so I did too and felt better. DH did bath voluntarily so no need for the normal shenanigans. Not had the energy to have the 'talk' and he's been more helpful today so I think I will draw hia attention to the crap behaviour tomorrow when i've got a fresh head on (fingers crossed) and we can spend some time together (he's got a day off). Right - dinner's ready so will check in again later.

Luffs you lot - thanks for keeping me sane thanks

yummychocolate Sun 18-May-14 20:29:34

any big hugs. Hope things go well soon. Of course dh should do more to help but sleep deprivation is a bitch. Hope you get a good nights sleep tonight.

I don't know if we are ww or teething but i have the most miserable baby. I feel bad for saying this but i aint working tomorrow so can't take ds to mums.

Plonkysaurus Sun 18-May-14 21:00:29

Any glad things felt a bit better today. And I hope tomorrow is better still, regardless of the outcome.

Yummy This is a really tough WW. Don't feel bad for saying that, it feels more relentless than ever during a WW.

Having said that I think we're now out the other side of it. And yes, I'm crossing everything. He's making huge leaps and today has tried talking. If we read him Spot the Dog he says 'pot'. If we take him upstairs to the bathroom (where all nappies are changed) he standing up at the bath declaring 'bat!'. And if he sees a dog on tv or IRL he says 'doh!' Still a ways to go but that's gotta be progress. We had a better nights sleep too and he actually napped today. For over three hours!

Eco thank you for your positive spin. I don't know how to feel about it, other than a lame attempt at a pun - my mooncup is not half-full, it is empty. It's just such disastrous timing. I will POAS by Weds if nothing doing. As DP's away tonight I'm driving myself crazy looking at co-sleeper cots, phil & teds doubles kits, how to get out of doing Mudderella... I don't want to be thinking about any of those things! They are not my goals!

Anyway. How was your asparagus? One of the many good things about this time of year! Your paddling pool session looks fab. I think I may have to pick one of those up for DS. Sans poo, of course. Did you use a net? I don't have a net. Should probably also get one of those.

Shatteredmamma1 Sun 18-May-14 21:18:36

Ah eco that would indeed make me smile grin bet she looked Adorable. Minus the poo of course....grin and yes I shall of course have an extra day off papping spying next weekend....

any good start, good luck tomorrow.
plonk keep us updated....
yummy have a chilled day, maybe indulge in a bit of baby TV or a nice walk or play in the garden- anything that's minimal effort?

yummychocolate Mon 19-May-14 07:25:22

Morning all. We are a snot filled house. Last night was a longggg night. Even karvol did not work this time. Ds would randomly wake up screaming.

Oh plonky I forgot about your no show dilemma. It probably is just the coil messing things up or stress. Do we really have to wait until wednesday for you to poas? I can't wait that long.

yummychocolate Mon 19-May-14 07:26:51

My plan for survival today is minimal housework and lots of cuddles with ds in front of the tv.

StormyBrid Mon 19-May-14 08:14:33

Sounds like an excellent plan, yummy!

I've realised, I'm already too late to be the first to dc2 cos Shattered got there first. So Plonky you can be upduffed if you want. Is it Wee-on-a-Stick Wednesday yet?

Plonkysaurus Mon 19-May-14 08:18:10

Well, having just got all teary watching Olivia Colmans BAFTA speech, I think I may POAS before Wednesday. But I'm horribly bloated, all the usual impending AF signs and I know the coil can muck things up for a few months.

I'm sure we'd cope fine if this is dc2. But. I'm isially so good at planning things!

BettyOff Mon 19-May-14 08:32:30

Plonky I predict negative. This month you've had a significant change in your eating habits and amount of exercise done which may well have knocked your cycle a bit and made you a bit late. I have been known to be wrong about these though very embarrassing when DH had to break the news to me that I was PG when I hadn't noticed

Stormy I've been working there since August 2012 and finish at the start of this August so your lady bits are likely safe from my prying eyes! Lunch breaks are a thing of myth and we're not allowed to leave the hospital anyway but if I get a half day or early finish I'll let you know! grin

StormyBrid Mon 19-May-14 08:57:39

Ah, so you could have sliced SIL open! Do you remember a footling breech that turned into an EMCS on October 21st?

Plonkysaurus Mon 19-May-14 10:21:42

Found a stick to pee on. Not even a sniff of a line, thank goodness!! Now, where is AF?

yummychocolate Mon 19-May-14 11:17:30

Sounds like you are relieved plonky. Im happy for you if that is the result you wanted. Also, thanks for not letting us wait until Wednesday. That seemed so far away.

BettyOff Mon 19-May-14 13:23:12

Stormy I was on mat leave still then so I'm not guilty!

We've had a fun morning playing in a park and splashing in a fountain and are now completely soaked and starving hungry so lunch then fingers crossed for a nap so I can have a cheeky sit down and episode of Downton!

BettyOff Mon 19-May-14 13:23:53

Plonky I completely forgot to comment, sorry!

Glad you'll still be well buff in your wedding frock!

Plonkysaurus Mon 19-May-14 16:30:52

That's the spirit Betty!

still a stone to go to official Well Buffness but we'll gloss over that

Doli not heard from you for time, all ok?

How's the snot, Yummy?

Shatteredmamma1 Mon 19-May-14 19:44:13

STORMY !!! I am most definitely still on dc1. Would like dc2 to be real but Not Quite Yet!!! Whew.

Yes Doli all ok?
plonk sure you are well buff already. Good work!!

betty I'm grin at you not noticing you were Pg! Not like you are surrounded by it all day...smile

Living up to my name today. totally exhausted. Would like to beat the 5.45 starts. I shouldn't moan though, we are due another bug very shortly!!! damn you nursery

StormyBrid Mon 19-May-14 20:24:19

Oh, bugger, Shattered, who have I confused you with? Sorry!

yummychocolate Mon 19-May-14 20:37:45

Theres me reading back through shattereds posts thinking i missed something.

Snot coughing and general whingeness is still here.

Plonkysaurus Mon 19-May-14 20:45:13

Was it Aldan and CantTurnLeft who had an older child too? And Wing, Eig and Ood of course. Come on Stormy, u thought you had an infallible spreadsheet! grin

Shattered the weeks between bugs seen like borrowed time, don't they?

Still no AF. That little witch best show up soon.

StormyBrid Mon 19-May-14 20:57:31

The spreadsheet is on the laptop, which no longer lives here. And technically it's a post it note rather than a spreadsheet. And I'm sunburnt and I've been awake since dawn and my brain is not functioning...

Fartypants has taken another step on the path to terrible toddler tantrums. Until recently, when told no she would shout, cry, and collapse on the floor. Now she headbutts things too. Walls, the bath, me, whatever's to hand. Fortunately, she tends to get over herself after about thirty seconds. I dread her developing greater persistence.

ecofreckle Mon 19-May-14 21:01:13

Shattered I think I thought you had two too blush Someone did Stormy, you're not going mad! I thought it was someone who joined the thread later on..... Wing certainly has two doesn't she? Maybe Stormy and I are crystal ball gazers and it will go fact be shattered seeing on a stick next week and getting a bfp shock

Betty, how many more episodes of Downton do you have to go? Did you see Lady Edith on the BAFTAs? Being a modern woman suits her.

Plonky, good-o. By your wedding you will have achieved your well buff and will now be able to celebrate with a few huge glasses of whatever you like. Still going for positive spin here.

Yummy, you evidently survived but it still sounds hard. I think this wonder week is a real swine. We're paddying right left and centre here.

A very meh day here. Nothing to report. The mosquitoes have invaded our woods so our walks there have been rather spoiled by the little Bastards. It's so hot that Ecotod's little socks are damp upon taking off her shoes. This means we have to become a two shoe household. Sigh. I couldn't face wearing socks and shoes in this weather so sandals must make an appearance. Has anyone else got any? Three days ago I got a bigger size one tog sleeping bag. It's got so hot now that I just ordered a 0.5 tog one too. The one from last summer is woefully inadequate when you hold it up to her. Babies grow. News. It's currently 25 degrees if her room despite blind being down all afternoon and window wide open. Poor love. I think Doli you're on blankets, anyone else? Can you talk me through how that works? Ecotod is pretty mobile overnight so I can't see her dragging covers with her during her acrobatics.

And yes Doli, we miss you, is all well? I think yes it is and you're poring over the accounts of an exciting new hotel you viewed at weekend. In Bedfordshire. So I can have a job. Or Kent as I believe Gerry might have asked first smile

ecofreckle Mon 19-May-14 21:04:20

Cross post Plonky. I'm not even madder than I am already smile

dolicapax Mon 19-May-14 21:46:25

Hi all. Sorry for going AWOL, but rest assured all is well here... no poas, no night terrors, no drama... just a bit of a whirlwind weekend. PIL came down on Friday to settle themselves in so that DH and I could head off to the wedding on saturday without major hysteria from the toddle. To be honest, when it came to the bit I think she was actually quite glad to see the back of us, as Granny and Granddad are such fun. Much more fun than parents, who have rules about stuff.... which is boring grin

The wedding itself was fantastic. I can't remember when I last laughed so much, or danced so much, and all that without even drinking too much. As for the speeches, the groom's made me cry, and the best man had us rolling on the floor in stitches. The guy should be a comedian. Seriously. I had no idea there was such talent in DH's friendship circle.

Leaving the small one over night is quite a thing though isn't it. I felt like I was missing a limb. DH must have too... as we were both awake at 5am and on the road home at 6am, which tells you everything you need to know about our ability to let go grin

Looks like I have managed to get through that story without once mentioning my necklace. Which was cunning. All I'm saying is if you have a necklace, which you want to wear to a special occasion, it is probably best if you don't 6 months earlier put it in a 'safe place' just on the off-chance that someone might break in and steal it. Could I remember the safe place? Could I hell. It took many minutes, and slight hysteria, before I finally located the damn thing. I'm not saying where though. It might come in handy again!

Note to those with parents who live abroad. They get very upset if you mess up passport applications, and thus have to delay a planned visit. Just had my mum on the phone in tears. Feel dreadful

Chicken pox and Men B vaccs today, so fingers crossed madam doesn't wake with a fever. It's hot enough up there as it is without any extra complications to deal with.

Night all.

Plonkysaurus Tue 20-May-14 06:49:58

Ordinarily we're sleeping blaggers too Eco but the 2.5 bag was a no go last night. He had a couple of light blankets instead and I put a heavier knitted one over him at about 10. Seemed to work despite the cot gymnastics, but I think I'll be investing in a muslin bag for the summer.

Doli glad to hear all is well in Doliland. I'll completely honest and confess that I forgot you were away this weekend and might be a little busy with that. Sounds like you had a great time though, so yay! Any wedding ideas you'll want to mention to me? Hope the vaccs go well and dolitoddle doesn't even notice them.

And what did I just say about time between bugs feeling borrowed? Ds has diarrhoea. 3 nappy changes so far this morning, 5 dirty nappies yesterday. So that's where we are. He seems happy enough though so I think well go out for a long walk when he's a bit less squirty, and it'd be nice if I could actually achieve some work/wedding malarkey today.

I'm feeling a little sad about a long friendship apparently coming to an abrupt end for no real reason. I honestly thought that stage of my life had ended a long time ago, but it appears some will always be kids.

WottaMess Tue 20-May-14 07:09:48

Sorry about that Plonk. I've had some low periods over recent months as it seems my life now is just too different to sustain my friends' interests... Chest last vie. Toddlemess is worth it grin.

Up early this morning to be sick. hmm No poas required (lacking part of the process iykwim blush) but Bleugh nonetheless. Think heartburn over night created just too much acid.

Just been chilling on the sofa but need to get dressed. Have better days all.

WottaMess Tue 20-May-14 07:10:35

Chest last! Ha ha, auto correct cracks me up!

StormyBrid Tue 20-May-14 08:13:05

Ah, the overheating summer nights again! I've yet to source a cheap 1 or 0.5 tog sleeping bag. Planning to mention to MIL that one is needed because she likes buying things for DD that she actually needs, as well as cute things. For the past two nights DD's been in her usual 2.5 tog and a vest with the window ajar. Which meant every passing drunk, every bugger revving his engine in the car park, every yowling cat woke her up. And there were a lot of howling cats last night, I suspect they were marking the passing of the terrace's resident enormous ginger tom, who was put to sleep yesterday. And don't even get me started on the sodding dawn chorus...

Glad you had a good weekend, doli, and I think I failed to say before but also very glad the toddle is doing grand in the heart department.

As for friends... mine who lived round the corner turned out to be a thief, so there's only one local friend left. Probably why I spend so much time talking to you lot!

Plonkysaurus Tue 20-May-14 08:33:42

Chest la vie! Oh I'm going to have to use that.

Hope you're not feeling too rough Wotta.

I'm so over her antics. She's the sort who won't visit you, but insist you always come to hers even when her kids are at school and yours is only 4 weeks old, goes quiet when there's a problem and never returns a favour. I need to learn how to stand up my ground without losing friendships in the future. I really thought this part of my life passed when I went to university (funnily enough, I've known her for 16 years).

Stormy I had to settle ds five times last night between putting him down at 6.45 and the last settle at 7.30. Not helped by the ice cream can say outside my house playing Greensleeves at 7pm! And yes, I did ask him if he'd politely mind stepping the fuck off.

StormyBrid Tue 20-May-14 09:00:45

My sister gave me some good ice cream van advice. Tell your small people that when the music is playing it means they've run out of ice cream. Probably not that helpful right now, but worth remembering for the future, I feel.

Does anyone else really like Tuesdays? We get up, have breakfast, go to baby group, come home, sleep. The man turns up at the end of naptime and I get to chill out until it's time to cook tea.

Plonkysaurus Tue 20-May-14 09:04:28

Our ice cream can evasion plan is to buy a house on a busy road with no pavement grin.

I normally like Tuesdays. This one, not so much.

WottaMess Tue 20-May-14 10:56:03

Ugh! That is all. hmm

yummychocolate Tue 20-May-14 10:57:45

eco we have always used blankets or duvet (can't remember the tog though). Thy don't last with ds acrobatics though. During the cooler nights i put ds in fleecy sleepsuits and just checked on him whenever either of us woke up.

For baby no2 I am definitely going to use sleeping bags. Its a bit too late for baby no1.

wotta how are you feeling now? I remember the sickness days. Throwing up stomach acid is just vile and burnt like hell.

plonky if your friend is like that then don't be sad. Someone once told me some friends are just meant to be in certain times of our life. so during our lifetime friendships will drift away but we make new friends depending on situation along the way. Since getting married and having ds my friendship circle has changed. Before i got upset that i no longer kept in contact with some friends but now i have just accepted that is how life is sometimes.

I kind of like any day of the week. Apart from these couple of days with all of us ill and sleep deprived. I just hope ds goes back to sleeping through when he is better.

Today i feel like I am mourning my relationship with dh. I promised myself i wouldn't let our relationship change when ds came but it hasn't worked out that way. I am too tired to communicate and we hardly do any fun stuff like we used to. Fun stuff as in going to the cinema etc. Both of us have put ds in the centre of our worlds which is expected but we have become distant with one another. Im hoping things will be different as ds grows up and becomes more independant. Anyone else feel like your relationship with dh/dp changed? Is this normal? If there is such a thing.

StormyBrid Tue 20-May-14 15:16:05

Oh god I just found something even scarier than trimming newborn fingernails. On the plus side, Fartypants no longer looks like an old English sheepdog...

dolicapax Tue 20-May-14 15:17:23

Plonky Yummy's right. Friends come and go, and only a few stay with you forever. I still feel a bit bitter that my best friend dumped me for for taking DH back, but at the end of the day I figure it's her loss! A true friend gives as well as takes, and is someone you look forward to seeing. Your friend sounded anything but.

Wedding tips, well, hmmm, not sure I can give you many as from what you've told us so far your big day sounds pretty much perfect. The good stuff:

The groom being a total groomzilla had the ushers organised to within an inch of their lives, which was great for the guests. Everyone was told where to park, where to be, when to be there, what was happening, and when it was happening, which eliminated that aimless confused drifting that can feature heavily at weddings.

It was fun! Laid back, happy, with a sausage and mash and apple pie menu, and loads of dancing. Who wouldn't enjoy that.

Yummy kids change your whole life, so cinema trips and the like are just something you have to park for now, unless you have an obliging relative who is happy to baby sit. We still go out, but as a three rather than a couple, so lunch at pizza express, a hike and a picnic with the toddle in the backpack, a day trip to somewhere like Rye, or Arundel (small people may not appreciate architecture, but time it right and they will sleep through it), or even.... a trip to the shops! Dcs can bring you closer together, if you do things together. It is an adjustment though, and not a particularly easy one.

I guess in a way I've been lucky as fatherhood has improved DH immeasurably. Prior, he was possibly the most self centred selfish person I have ever known. Weekends were taken up with his cars, computers or music (he used to record his own stuff). I felt like a housekeeper/PA, and frankly didn't like him very much. Now dd comes first, me second, and him somewhere at the bottom of the heap after the dogs. In short, he's grown up, found his level, become a better person. If he stays that way we might actually grow old together grin.

Wotta feel better soon.

We've switched to sleeping bags here too, as the blankets option proved a little challenging once the rolling kicked in. 1 tog and a vest here last night, and fortunately no post vacc fever.

Plonkysaurus Tue 20-May-14 16:48:44

Yummy as always Doli is right. Kids don't just slot in, and it sounds like trying to make that happen is causing a bit of misery for you. The two of you need to find a new way together, whether that's doing as Doli suggests and figuring things out as a threesome, or making plans. I freaked out at him around October time when everything felt so relentless, and things have improved immeasurably since. It's stressful trying to keep track of the baby, the house, work, wedding planning, house hunting...our relationship fell to the wayside for a short period and it scared us both.

The most effective thing we did was sit down together and work out what our future looks like - the house we want, how many kids, what kind of cars we want to drive, where these children will go to school and how much travelling we want to do. Thankfully we agree on all of it, so we have a very loose five year plan. We are a focused unit now, and ds is our priority.

Doli ushers! That's what we need. I'm sure we can round a few up and push them through the Plonky's Perfect Wedding Programme.

Stormy what on earth have you done to dd?

We're sat in the chevin hills in the car. Ds fell asleep 5 mins from home so I drove somewhere pretty to look out at the river while he catches some z's.

The friend is gone. It became apparent that she was never going to see why things are the way they are. I can't even say I'm that sad about it, I feel more like a huge part of my past has been purged. And kind of free. We have such different lives, and she's such an angry, negative person (whereas I'm obviously a complete delight) so it's like a weight lifted.

Two seats have just come up at the wedding, any takers? ;)

ecofreckle Tue 20-May-14 16:57:50

yes grin

BettyOff Tue 20-May-14 17:05:11

Eco and I were planning on coming and hiding in a tree anyway not that we're reliving wedding memories vicariously through you or anything, oh no


Plonkysaurus Tue 20-May-14 17:58:14

Haha oh I'd love it!

'So Plonky, who are these two?' 'Well...'

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Tue 20-May-14 20:34:19

Bagsy both of the seats (both for me, twice the dinner, twice the wine?)

Finally recovered after a wonderful hen weekend. Yes, the same weekend I was in a right old grump about. Well it turned out to be fantastic. Somehow, 12 years after we left school, the bride has ended up with mainly friends from school. All of whom I was friends with as well, but some I haven't seem for years. From now onwards, I am going to go to all of these things with an open mind and not a hint of snobbery. Despite it being really girly (not my bag), and involving pink sashes, silly games, and arranged fun, which is usually the point at which I decide not to have fun on principle, it WAS fun! And as first time away from dd overnight goes, it was fine, DH was great. I refused to leave instructions in the end in the hope it would boost his confidence to realise he could manage on his own, and it worked.

You lot have been very talkative over the weekend, I haven't really managed to catch up. Hope you're all ok, have I missed anything?

dolicapax Tue 20-May-14 20:37:06

That would certainly take a bit of explaining Plonky grin

Eco this post's for you. I have just discovered a bumble bee nest under the hanging tiles round our bedroom window. There must be hundreds of them going in and out. Wasps nests are an annual pain in the bum, but this is a first. They're very cute, which is handy, as they're also very protected. Given we also have bats under the tiles, my advice to all budding environmentalists is forget bat and bee boxes, nail a few tiles up instead.

BettyOff Tue 20-May-14 20:44:28

Gerry just out of interest where did you grow up (ish)? Just checking that you weren't at the hen do I was meant to be at?!!!

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Tue 20-May-14 21:01:08

Down here in the south east Betty, so my guess would be it was a different one, although that would have been very exciting!

Shatteredmamma1 Tue 20-May-14 21:23:16

shock shock to eco and stormy. I'll stop whinging about just the one then!!!!
Trying to catch up but just had to log in to say shock

wotta hope you're ok. plonk sounds like you are better off without her.
doli I forgot to say too an glad doli toddle ok on the heart front.

Will write properly again. Just done a very hard gym class so tea and bed are calling! smile

StormyBrid Tue 20-May-14 21:48:16

There's all of you being healthy, and here's me eating pie. Mmm, pie.

I have trimmed DD's fringe. Not the neatest job in the world, but it'll do, and she can see now. Absolutely terrifying though. One wrong move and she'd have lost an eye, and she's a wriggly bugger at the best of times.

yummychocolate Wed 21-May-14 10:00:25

Yummm stormy what pie was it? I made chicken pie for dinner the other day. We have had our third cut with ds and it gets worse with each cut. Ds was howling away and hitting us while we tried to cut his hair.

Thank you all for the relationship advice. Our aim is to do more together which would fine if dh was not a workaholic.

anyone survived through ww? Omg how hard is it this time round. I think his cold/cough, teething and ww is all happening at the same time and it is a nightmare. I have had 4 hours of whinging crying and clinging to me before he is finally gone to sleep. Im sure it will be for 45mins. My lovely calm ds used to nap for 3hrs sometimes. He won't even eat so i just offer him milk which he drinks so that is something. After his nap i plan to be out of the house as much as possible.

SqutterNutBaush Wed 21-May-14 10:11:09

Hi everyone, I dipped in and out of the threads (peanutMD) and just thought I'd come in and see how everyone else is getting on?!

DD is now 14 months, throwing tantrums, still waking 2 hourly, refusing to let go of the furniture and walk and pretty much spends her days shouting on her big brother. The joys of toddlerhood grin

SqutterNutBaush Wed 21-May-14 10:12:52

Oh and my original point was to ask if anyone was still BF'ing as I'm thinking of giving up but don't know how!

StormyBrid Wed 21-May-14 10:20:30

Hello peanut, good to hear from you again! We do still have a few breastfeeders, who I'm sure will be along soon enough. How you stop, I have no idea!

yummy you'll hate me, but this wonder week is a riddle so far. Mainly because there isn't the incessant whining that characterised previous ones.

It was an apple pie, they were giving them away free at the children's centre. I couldn't be arsed to cook so we had apple pie and ice cream. Tonight I'm thinking meaty pie and mash.

Fartypants has just figured out how to get herself standing up without holding on to anything! Until now, every time she stumbled while walking she'd have to crawl over to a bit of furniture or a wall or whatever and pull herself up, which has scuffed her shoes horrifically.

StormyBrid Wed 21-May-14 10:21:05

A riddle? A doddle! Stupid autocorrect...

somethingbeginningwith Wed 21-May-14 14:44:57

yummy we're feeling the wonder week here too with the constant whining and the total hatred of all food. He's still sleeping well but I assume that's something to do with the snot. On Monday, he had three naps and yesterday he had two, which is so unlike him. He has, however, spent nearly all his time in the garden so probably knackers himself out that way.

I turned into a 14 year old last night and went to see McBusted. I lost my voice for the first time at a concert at the grand old age of 25.

ecofreckle Wed 21-May-14 15:16:13

Something, I have a few things to say :-) 1) that one on facebook that you liked, I always thought 'who'd like that one?'! So I'm glad he has some fan love from you 2) a springer did you say? That will be huge amounts of fun but HARD work; they're super bouncy and need loads of exercise and stimulation for their clever doggy brains. How long now til you collect him? I expect lots of doggy pics on FB. Thank you! 3) I dreamt I went to your house last night. It was a tudor mansion based around a massive courtyard. When it was time for DS to nap you had to decide which of his 5 cots to put him in and likewise when we went for a walk he had an arsenal of strollers to choose from. He even had a whole room devoted to dressing up clothes. Where did that all come from??

Doli how lovely to have hanging tiles. Brilliant vernacular architecture for wildlife down where you are. The batties love them (my dissertation was on bats) and bees too. We would have no peanut butter without bees. They are VITAL :-) My dunce of a neighbour prodly told me he'd doused his bee's nest with wasp killer 'because the pest people wouldn't kill them as they're protected'. So we now have wasp killer laden dead bees in our garden. Very sad.

Plonky how are you doing? Which Cure song is your favourite? This is a test!

Yummy, like Something (but unlike that cah Stromy!) we're struggling with WW too. Muchos waling and foot stamping and general toddler PMT. Yuck. Relationship wise I miss so much if I am being honest. I miss gigs, camping every weekend, climbing mountains, being spontaneous, working, cinema, chatty meals out............... But life is changing and we do different stuff now. Lots of walks based around cafes and parks mostly. Every stage is a phase that moves onto something new. In a few years time ecotod will be able to power up mountains herself. I like Plonk's suggestion of a chat about the longer term aspirations of the relationship. I think we did this about a year ago and it involved raising our girl in Norfolk. Not Bedfordshire! But plans can alter too I guess. It's nice to know you're both singing from the same hymnsheet I suppose.

Squtter I am still BF. I am not an expert thought. With night feeds we went cold turkey at 11 months. I say cold turkey, it was carefully orchestrated and involved being with her when she asked for it overnight for a few nights, but politely declining her requests. Then at about 13 months we went cold turkey on day time feeds. She didn't notice. She has asked maybe twice over the last two weeks and I have let her. Otherwise we just offer snack and drink. She will not drink cows milk though, so it's water at snack time here. She still guzzles at 0700 upon waking and 1830 before bathtime. We're going to keep those going until she self weans. I think. Good luck.

Stormy: any before and after photos of the hair do?

Shattered, hard gym? Are you in the SAS?

Gerry and Doli it sounds like you had lovely weekends and may I offer congratulations on your first baby free nights away. I am going to do this before the summer is out. Gerry I don't think you missed anything massive. The odd bit of snot, whinging, tantrumming, that sort of thing.

Right, I'd better away. I'm in Bedfordshire presently and have work with me to get on with.

Plonkysaurus Wed 21-May-14 18:45:41

I'm in the kitchen wolfing down dark nutty chocolate looking for a good recipe for turkey burgers. Aunt Flo arrived, so sorry you're not going to be aunties (or inties, see as this is t'internet). But hurrah!

Eco your neighbour did WHAT to a bees nest? I take it he is a ducking moron. We have a wasps nest and FIL has been helpful enough to suggest we borrow his shotgun, because 'you have to shoot the bastards'. I love FIL but it's on the side of our very much rented house. We live on a large estate.

My favourite Cure song is Friday I'm in Love because it's the first song I could play on the guitar.

And Something does live in a mansion! We call it The Pile. She has a doorman (I ignored him yesterday) and a Jeeves. Upon entering the Pile you can smell the creamery churning out goodies, and the stable boy is delicious.

Well almost. Her house is bigger than mine.

Hi Squtter <waves> sounds like you're enjoying each other.

Yummy these WWs are real doozies. And a triple whammy of ww, snot and teeth? I hope you have a good stash of choc

Plonkysaurus Wed 21-May-14 19:19:45

I got distracted. But I also meant to add that Something sticks out her pinkie when she drinks tea.

yummychocolate Wed 21-May-14 20:35:22

Wow plonky you can play the guitar? Very impressive.

I shouldn't eat chocolates but I still have a stash left from Belgium.

something do you eat tiny triangle sandwiches with the crusts cut off too?

Anyone else have any talents? I don't really have any other than I can make an amazing carrot cake. [Smile]

Shatteredmamma1 Wed 21-May-14 20:42:37

yummy we are also Wwing here. I feel your pain. wine

We are trying to do some relationship work too- hit a real low recently but hoping things are on the up. I also miss the cinema and Friday night dinner out!! hmm DS is obviously worth it though.

Yes eco I am in the SAS as well as papping/spying
Legs are struggling today!

Hmm what else. Long day at work yesterday! Today was better smile looking forward to a nice bank holiday weekend! gerry glad you enjoyed the hen, I've got a few lined up too!!! wine for wine Wednesdays smile

Shatteredmamma1 Wed 21-May-14 20:50:25

X-post yummy I also like cake making grin

dolicapax Wed 21-May-14 22:29:11

What. A. Day. I think we must be WW-ing too. Or maybe it's post vaccine syndrome. Or molars. God knows. But it was fun hmm not. Breakfast was yuck. Lunch was worse. Walks were rubbish. Toys were boring. Mummy is horrid. Life sucks. As for bed. What toddler in their right mind ever goes to bed?! I gave up in the end and let her watch TV until 10pm. I believe I may have once in my pre dc days claimed I would never do such a thing. I probably ought to add that to the list of things I was never going to do...

But it wasn't all bad as I had diet coke man on the roof, and the plumber drilling holes in the wall, so a view and a back track. Kept Dolitoddle entertained anyway.

Hopefully tomorrow I will have the time and energy to properly catch up, but right now.... milk, and then bed. Dolitoddle and I have so much in common!

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Thu 22-May-14 06:45:17

We have another tooth! I know for you lot these things aren't exciting anymore, but it's only our third so still a novelty here!

The small one seems to have lost her ability to get herself to sleep at night. All she seems to need is a hand on her tummy for 2 minutes but after a year of self settling I'm a little nervous that this is how it starts... Maybe it's a ww thing as we too seem relatively unscathed by this one.

I met up with an old friend who is 7 months pregnant the other day. She asked if I had any advice. I told her not to list the things she'll never do as a parent, because she'll definitely do them, and will then feel rubbish about it.

Mine are:
Never ff
No dummy
No tv
Don't play on phone whilst in charge doing this right now
Don't just let her get away with things for a quiet life
Follow gina ford
Leave her to cry

Shatteredmamma1 Thu 22-May-14 06:51:16

How many of those did you follow gerry ?! grin

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Thu 22-May-14 07:07:56

Not a single one...

BettyOff Thu 22-May-14 08:43:15

It could be worse Gerry, my list was startlingly similar and I've tried to backtrack on all but failed on FF and dummy. Surely that's worse! It's not a good parenting moment when you're holding a few weeks old baby crying and pleading with it to just have the f*#^ing dummy. Ah well, we live and learn. grin

I've dropped madam at nursery and have the day off work so I'm off back to bed for an hour. I need to wash pretty much all the clothes we own and get them dry in this awful weather, visit the dreaded ikea and toysrus, put up a curtain rail and make pizza dough and bread dough but without the small person this should be a doddle and I'll probably have time left over the catch up on Neighbours

BettyOff Thu 22-May-14 08:43:58

P.S. This wonder week is crappy....and much longer than a week.

Plonkysaurus Thu 22-May-14 09:00:06

Shattered so you're an SAS trained pap? Well I never grin it was you taking pictures of the Duchess of Cambridge with her naps out, weren't it?

Doli oh I hate days like that. Days where I hang out by the front door around dp's usual home time so that I can thrust the baby into his arms and leave to scream into a pillow. Or at least, that's what I want to do. I'd have definitely let her stay up too, rather that than the frustration of constantly going into her room trying to settle her. I hope she let you sleep last night!

Gerry well done on the teef. And the list! May I add 'never forcing gender related toys on ds'. Well I haven't, but relatives have and I don't give a crap. I also said I'd never give him sugary food but he loves spaghetti hoops once on awhile.

Molar #1 is nearly out. And boy do we know about it. I just cba in the middle of the night now, so it was calpol and straight in with me. I also think I've discovered the origin of ds's squirty tummy - my lovingly homemade rhubarb compote. Next time I'll just give him a sugar laden petit filous.

We still have to adhere to nurserys 48 hour poo policy though, so it's off to ikea for us today to buy a load more tat to prettify our wedding!

StormyBrid Thu 22-May-14 09:03:32

We had a barbecue at my dad's yesterday, and Fartypants was in a right arse of a mood all afternoon. So the ww hasn't totally passed us by. Sleep not as good as it could be either but I suspect that's partly due to temperature - she's done better with the window open, and brilliant last night with open window and rain.

I can barely remember what my list of ways to parent contained. Less TV than we actually watch, certainly, but the five minutes' peace during ad breaks is a godsend. I was never going to smack at all, but she's had a few taps on the back of the hand when she's insisting on playing with the hob (although I can't bring myself to actually hurt her). Can't remember any more.

somethingbeginningwith Thu 22-May-14 09:19:11

plonk you forgot to mention the moat surrounding the mansion!

eco 1) it's not just fan love, he is my actual soulmate...he even follows me on Twitter, so...yeah! 2) we get our new baby pup three weeks tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to the long, crazy walks and general bouncy-nuttiness! 3) that wasn't a dream. Don't you remember popping over for a light lunch of champers and caviar? Then we hopped in the golf buggy and I gave you a tour of the grounds; you even met the groundskeeper, remember? But really, what a brilliant dream. I am proud to have ventured into your subconscious! grin

Well! Bloody granny!! Dropped DS off there this morning and my 4 yr old nephew was there too. Because DS saw him having his breakfast, he obviously demanded his so granny obliged. I went into the kitchen to get my coffee and watched as she poured sugar over his Weetabix. Apparently, it's ok because she always does it. No bloody wonder he turns his nose up at Weetabix when I give it to him. I made her take it off but it won't stop her from doing it next week, I bet.

Hooray for the tooth gerry

Plonkysaurus Thu 22-May-14 09:31:49

Haha something that really made me laugh, no wonder he loves granny so much! Oh and don't let him tell ds of this, he has no idea that you can pour sugar on anything.

Shatteredmamma1 Thu 22-May-14 10:25:10

something shock nothing like having your parenting undermined is there?! angry
betty we had similar with the dummy! And bottle although we got there after weeks months eventually.

Yes yes plonk that's me grin grin

Well I've had 2 shock moments in the last 24 hours. Leaving wallet at home and only realising when trying to pay for food hmm and trying to return a library book when the library has been turned into a polling station. Felt a bit stupid and then didn't even vote as I'd forgotten to even look at the candidate leaflets through the door. There were three people there all looking pleased to see someone walking in so felt a bit silly! Anyone else want to share?

Oh and gerry how tall are you? nosy

StormyBrid Thu 22-May-14 11:01:03

Ah yes, no sugary crap was on the list. Fartypants is at this moment eating a shortbread bunny. I draw the line at sugar on cereal though. We have runny honey instead.

Shatteredmamma1 Thu 22-May-14 13:15:42

shock stormy you know that's pure sugar right? Yummy though smile
Just cleaning up highchair sick hmm grim. Lovingly fed lunch- cough- vomit. Happens too often for my liking.
Plonk glad DS better grin

StormyBrid Thu 22-May-14 13:57:24

Yes, but it's like... milk from bees? Probably not quite so bad for you as refined white sugar though.

Shatteredmamma1 Thu 22-May-14 14:13:54

Milk from bees! grin

Shatteredmamma1 Thu 22-May-14 14:27:06

Ladies can I do a quick nap poll? storm I know you're on one as ministorm wakes late..what does everyone else do who has a 6 or 7 wake up? doli you don't have to answer if you don't want to. And eco I'm using the advice you gave me a month or so ago just wondering where the majority are at. We have just dropped to one nap on nursery days as he will only sleep once there but not sure what to do on my days with him...

somethingbeginningwith Thu 22-May-14 14:37:24

shattered on the days I have DS, regardless of what time he wakes, it'll usually be one nap. If he wakes at normal time (7:30-8:00), it'll be any time around 11:00. If he wakes earlier, it tends to be any time around 10:00. This nap usually ranges from 1-3 hours. At CM and when he's at my mums, I wake him up at 7:15 and he'll have one nap there too, usually about an hour or so but I'm not sure what time-ish.

This week though, because he was ww-ing/under the weather, it's been 2-3 naps but all have been shorter.

StormyBrid Thu 22-May-14 14:44:46

We don't always wake late here. Particularly with the ww. 7 is the earliest I'll get out of bed. A few days ago she woke at quarter to bastarding six. I left her to it, she fell asleep just before seven, woke again at half eight. That's unusual these days though. Anyway, naptime is 11.30 regardless of how early she gets up, unless it's a very late wake up - 9am would mean about 12.15 naptime.

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Thu 22-May-14 14:54:31

How tall? Is this in relation to my name? I'm of average height unlike Betty but I am married to a giant (not an actual giant, but a 6'6er so nearly) hence being the wife of Gerry the too tall giraffe (which was my fave book as a child).

If anyone in my immediate family reads this I'm totally outed

dolicapax Thu 22-May-14 15:25:43

Did someone mention naps?! grin As everyone has probably gathered they are not the toddle's strongest point, but on the days when she does bother it is one nap only, at about 1.30pm, for anything from 20 mins to 2 hours. Hard though the no nap days are they do have the advantage that she then goes to bed at 7.30pm. When she naps it's nearer 9.30pm. I've worked out that she likes to sleep for 11 hours in every 24, and anything taken in the day is accounted for by way of a deferred bed time. Only a child of DH could form this kind of logic so young.

It's thundering. Dog1 hates thunder. Dog2 doesn't give a toss. They are both outside, but on the tennis court (now that really outs me. I must be the only person who keeps my dogs on a tennis court...). Theoretically I should go out and rescue them. WIBU to leave them there on the basis they have a perfectly safe, dry shed, with a bed each, and toys, and moving them isn't going to change dog1's view that the big bad god of thunder in the sky is trying to murder him.

Speaking of thunder, I've just been for a swim in it. That was cool!

Stormy milk from bees ?? gringringrin

Sugary crap has been largely avoided here on the basis I never have any in the house. I am also a very reluctant cook so home made cakes never happen. What she has been given at nursery and by MIL now, well that's a different story. I had to stifle a small laugh the time MIL turned up with a big bag of butter cookies, and ... wait for it..... pombears. Prior to MN I had never heard of pombears, but I have since been educated to understand they are the. work. of. the. devil. Dolitoddle rather liked them... Perhaps I should try her on a fruit shoot. If someone could tell me what a fruit shoot is sheltered life

Oh, sun's out. I can stop feeling bad about the dogs now.

BettyOff Thu 22-May-14 15:51:38

Naps here are variable but we usually have two. She gets up sometime between 5.30 and 6.30 and naps are at about 9.30 and 2.30 for anywhere from 20 to 90mins. Some days it's just a one nap and these days tend to have worse nighttime sleep. She's a contrary bugger!

Doli, DDog is being a big brave dog and is cuddled under a blanket growling at the windows. She may not be quite as brave once I drag her out in it to go and collect DD.

Shatteredmamma1 Thu 22-May-14 20:38:30

Oh gerry haven't heard of that book. I know it doesn't make sense from your name but I had you pegged as 6'2! shock
Thanks for the nap info. Wondering whether to bite the billet and drop to one but not sure we are quite there yet. Never in my life have I spent so much time thinking about sleep! Apart from the early days when I wasn't having any!

doli hope the dogs are ok!

WottaMess Thu 22-May-14 21:01:26

Naps here getting odder! He wakes c6:45-7 left to his own devices (needs to be earlier side of that nursery days) and at home naps at 9:30 pretty much like clockwork for 1.5-2.5 hrs. Scared dh by doing 3.40 today! Then naps again in the afternoon for anything from 30-40mins to 1.5hrs again.

At nursery they are lucky to get one nap out of him and an hour is good going grin. He's in no way distressed it's just that he's so nosy and can't bear to be missing out on what's going on.

dolicapax Thu 22-May-14 21:47:33

Shattered the dogs are fine, if a bit hmm at having to spend their afternoon on the tennis court. Just in case anyone has an image of them pootling about with tennis rackets, I should probably point out it isn't so much an actual court, as just a fenced, tarmac-ed area aka dog pen.

Much better day today thank god and some improvement in bedtime. 9.30pm tonight, not 10pm. Tomorrow, who knows, we might even get a 9pm!

yummychocolate Thu 22-May-14 21:50:25

Naps usually change. Ds will wake 6ish but 5am today.sometimes he will have an hour nap 9.30ish other days he will fight it until 11ish. His naps can range from 1.5 to 3hrs. If he naps at 9.30am he may have a second nap 3ish and completely messes bedtime.

On days i work ds will sleep around 6.30pm and wake around 5/6am however he will have one nap around 11am for about 30mins-1hr. He comes home exhausted. This is because he prefers to sleep in his bed.

Plonkysaurus Thu 22-May-14 22:09:55

Naps here are becoming more uniform. At nursery he always naps 12.15-2.30, no ifs, ands or buts. They give lunch at 11.30, which is way earlier than I prefer but I've started doing the same and it works a treat. If he gets disturbed (usually because we have to go out for exercise, food and sanity purposes) then he'll have a late morning nap and a mid afternoon hour or so.

I am a 'water nazi' now. I have been gradually weaning ds off the squash on the basis that I wouldn't drink it myself because it contains aspartame. I have had some success, but dp was disapproving. Possibly related to the wedding related spat we had just had.

Today while it was thundering (and biiiig lightning) we experienced a power cut. No biggie, ds was content to watch the torrential rain giving it the old Wuthering heights against the patio doors. But then we had a power cut for abut 45 mins. At dinner time. And he wanted something warm. Thank goodness for gas hobs. When the power came back on so did the faulty burglar alarm, which prompted a rather embarrassing call to our landlord to ask him the number. He didn't, and strangely wasn't narked at me for obviously never using the alarm thankfully I didn't mention the number of times I've left the house without locking it but the lady at number 6 knows it. So off we trek, ds wearing quite a lot of pesto and me in very inappropriate shoes, asking an old lady for an alarm number.

She mislaid it.

I went home, and just flipped the switch on the circuit. That's about the most exciting thing that's happened to me in months.

dolicapax Fri 23-May-14 08:38:34

Plonky thats much more exciting than anything that has happened to me in months. I'm v jealous. Actually, thinking about it... perhaps not...

I think we have teeth. Well it's that or perhaps an unusual desire to be sociable, as the toddle just wouldn't agree to staying in her cot for 3 bloody hours last night, starting at 1am. Milk, new nappy, calpol, change of sleeping bag (it was a bit cold), cuddles, pacing, more cuddles, you name it we tried it. I'm so dead this morning.

Plonkysaurus Fri 23-May-14 08:45:43

Oh no, any chance of her letting you get some day time rest? She must be wiped out too! These molars are nasty buggers aren't they?

dolicapax Fri 23-May-14 19:10:33

You know what I did. I did that thing where I looked at the mouse in the wrong way so it went and back paged and lost my post. I so don't get on with Apple. DH sold it to me on the basis it was the future. Like hell it is hmm

Which just leaves me time to say yes plonky she did allow me some rest today, in the theoretical sense, as her insomniac efforts last night left her so zonked she did three house this morning, and second mini nap this afternoon. I however managed to find stuff to occupy me. Mistake. I'm feeling the pain now, whereas she's looking fresh as a daisy and ready for another night out on the tiles.

Speaking of tiles, any suggestions for a conservatory floor? Walls are sand blasted red brick, windows oiled oak, beams bare oak, general design pretty rustic. I was thinking some kind of flags myself, what with it needing to be dog proof, washable, and able to disguise a fair amount of grot. That however is as far as I've got and the screed is going in next week... so no pressure grin

Hope you've all been out and about having a fantastic time, free from the wonderful wonders of wonder weeking teething tantrums.

ecofreckle Fri 23-May-14 20:54:18

Hello you sexy Bastards. How did it get to be Friday again so quickly?

I'm sitting in my garden listening to the birds in my pyjamas with a glass of white wine and the monitor. Rock and roll. I have returned to Norfolk and left dh to go to London for weekend to play with his boyfriends. Ecotod and I intend to play hard tomorrow and sample some of Norfolk's finest sights. Whilst we battle through the hoards of half term tourists.

Shattered we're still on two naps but my girl was born at end of month so we're quite young. We wake her at 0700, nap from 0915 til 1000. Nap again 1315 to 1500. The start times might alter a bit but she does get 2.5 hours in total. Except on days where -ah have a life-- I am travelling in the car lots. She never sleeps longer than 45 minutes in car. Bed by 1915.

My life sounds a whole lot of fun doesn't it. Bloody routines.

Doli what about proper quarry tiles? The deep terracotta ones?

Plonky I hope you've got over your ordeal. Power cuts at dinner time suck don't they? Is spat over now? We spatted yesterday too. It must have been the day for it.

yummychocolate Fri 23-May-14 21:27:36

eco how do you fit in your adventures with those nap times as well as dinner/chores etc? naps do mess up my plans for the day sometimes. I can't keep up. Im always having to play catch up and trying to be one step ahead ie, getting ds bag ready and myself ready when ds is asleep so we are ready to go when he has woken up.

doli hope you have a better night tonight. We have suffered alot with suspected teeth but they take ages to come tnrough.

so its a 3 day weeked hope the rain stays away.

Plonkysaurus Sat 24-May-14 07:42:51

Eco your evening sounds lovely. And your routine actually sounds liberating - it sounds like she sleeps so well now that knowing what works for you means you can always plan around it. At least, that's how I see these things.

Yummy so I find a loose routine liberating. Ds's nap times are when I get a chance to have a quick tidy up, write the shopping list, stick some washing on and mop the kitchen floor. Everything else just gets done around ds (I like to think I'm encouraging independent play, ha). Enjoy your long weekend, it sounds like you really need it!

I'm trying to plough through a mountain of ironing so ss is surrounded by toys and Peter Pan is entertaining us both. Every time Nanna comes on screen he's saying dog. I think this means we need a dog.
Ds is still struggling with his nappies, and I can only conclude it's the molars wot dunnit. They're nasty aren't they? He now has seven teeth and I can see two more just waiting. And he has mega nappy rash. He's producing disgusting nappies but it's definitely not diarrhoea anymore, but they're really hurting his bum. He cried when I put him in the bath last night, and it wasn't the temperature.
I had a good cry to my sister about the stress I've tried so far to brush off this week. The idiot friend (such a silly billy), wedding stuff, constantly waiting for ds to cry and finding snatches of time for myself. DP is with his best men until this afternoon and I hope to god they manage to actually get a

Plonkysaurus Sat 24-May-14 07:44:23

Oops pressed post too soon.

Dp best get his plans done.

And Doli I hope dd wasn't too much in the party mood last night. Could you get a nocturnal babysitter? A possum or bat to watch her, perhaps?

StormyBrid Sat 24-May-14 11:54:04

The waiting for him to cry sounds very wonder weeky, Plonk. Deep breaths, cup of tea, remind yourself it will pass. In only a week, if he follows what the book says!

All housework is done with DD awake here. Her naptime is my downtime, buggered if I'm giving it up for housework. I agree it helps foster independent play though. A few months back when we were wonder weeking, any time I tried to do any housework she'd cling to me and screech. Now she just lets me get on with it. Handy, really. If she's being a grumpy little sod and doing my head in, I just brightly tell her mummy needs to go and do the washing up, and I get ten minutes' peace (and a clean kitchen into the bargain).

We still have canines threatening, but they're taking their sweet time about things. Curse them!

doli Apple is evil. The future my arse. Open source software is the future; Apple do their best to rule out the possibility. And their user interfaces are frankly bizarre. I'll second the vote for nice terracotta tiles though.

You'll all have to excuse me being quiet at the moment. I'm having issues with the app. I found a topic about it here so it's good to know it's not just me. I just don't know what to do with myself without MN in my pocket!

yummychocolate Sat 24-May-14 13:03:38

When ds sleeps I have my downtime too. I need to recharge my batteries for when he wakes up. Housework is done here and there when ds is awake. Can be hard when ww though but I do bare minimum during this. I agree with encouraging independent playing too and I have just realised I have been spelling independent wrong all my life. Ooppss.

Another one who hates apple. Can't stand iphone. I am used to samsung galaxy.

bad thing about online shopping is waiting for the delivery. Lets hope my delivery comes early. I have ordered a few summer clothes for ds from good old George.

StormyBrid Sat 24-May-14 19:19:16

Had an a replaced one of the es, yummy? I'd do a cat's bum face, but the amount of people who make that same mistake, if I started doing the face I'd never stop.

I have to say, pre-DC I was quietly scathing about supermarket clothes. Nowadays I love them. Asda's the only place I seem to be able to find toddler pyjamas that aren't a) garish pink, b) Disney, c) just ghastly, or d) all of the above. And they have t-shirts with decent sized neck holes, always a bonus when your child has an enormous and weirdly triangular head. At Christmas my sister got DD lots of lovely t-shirts with matching shorts, obviously all a set, some had monochrome butterflies on, some had stripes, all very cute. Size 12-18m, short sleeves, ideal for this summer, I thought. And once they're on, they fit perfectly. It's just getting them on that's the problem. Why don't all toddler t-shirts have poppers on one shoulder?

Hmm. I hear squeaks down the baby monitor...

ecofreckle Sat 24-May-14 19:55:55

Good evening. Sun's finally got his hat on here. Streaming in on me in the bath. Taunting me: 'you're home alone, you can't venture far'!

So Yummy the way we manage is much like you. We get organised early on. I make packed lunches and bags during her first nap and head straight out. We have a mini adventure and a picnic prior to heading back for nap. During nap two I might make dinner and then we have time for another mini adventure prior to bed. It's not always like that though. Take today for example, we planned a car nap for her first nap as our adventure destination was an hour away. She only slept for twenty minutes in car ahead of our puddle splashathon in the woods and lunch out. We were about fifteen minutes late home for nap and as a result she fell asleep in car. I let that last for thirty minutes and then took her to her cot for a nap. I heard her sporadically chatting or singing through monitor for over an hour so suspect not much nap happened but we managed to get some peace and quiet and we then managed to go to a friends for dinner. Ecotod went to bed at usual time and appears to be asleep. I reckon on being able to get away with this rather more freestyle days from time to time without it ruining night time sleep.

Plonky what was it you were hoping dh got sorted with his ushers today? I got muddled reading your message. Did he return victorious?

Stormy I'm having phone app issues also. I can log on for third evening on trot.

Can I ask you to share with me ideas for nice christening presents please? Ecotod won't be christened so I have nothing to go on really. The parents are churchy whereas I am not, but I would like to get something appropriate. Did you have achristening and receive anything you especially liked? Thanks!

BettyOff Sat 24-May-14 20:18:42

Eco I'm the world's worst Catholic and still haven't got round to getting DD baptised but I bought my Godson and Goddaughter a lovely wooden Noah's Ark. It ticks the box for traditional toy, years of use, looks nice on a shelf too and biblical.

DH is on nights, DD missed her afternoon nap and is already wakey and I'm trying to ignore her so I can have wine and ice cream in peace so this might not be my favourite Saturday night ever.

I hope everyone else is fairing well on this rainy weekend. Is it bad that I love a really heavy rain shower?

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Sat 24-May-14 23:31:07

Arrggghhh DH is a dickhead. An argument about the cat's food bowls has turned into me refusing to go to bed (because I'll just lie there and stew) and him saying he's going to sleep in the spare room. Except he won't, he never does when he threatens to. Which is very annoying because if really quite like him to eff off.

So, who wants to hear about the most ridiculous row ever?

I'm going to tell you anyway! Doing the 'cleaning before bed' that for me is crucial to a calm morning, and to DH is just another example of my inherent nagging. I go to feed the cats, their bowls are revolting, old stuck on food and general disgustingness. (Cats are his job, because everything else is my job). I start washing the bowls up. He dries them. I'm halfway through, he says 'fuck it, let's go to bed, we can just use their other bowls' and plonks the clean, dry bowls back in the sink full of skanky water. 'We'll leave them to soak', says he. 'Soaking isn't the same as cleaning, and they were clean already' says I, taking them out, putting them back on the side. He throws them back in the sink, covering me in skanky water in the process, kicks the clothes airer to the other side of the room terrifying the cats.


I tell him he's being a dickhead. He tells me to fuck off.

but you know when these stupid things become so much bigger in your head than they are? And silly things make you just think 'how am I supposed to stay with this man forever when he's such a wanker?'


ecofreckle Sun 25-May-14 00:07:04

Hi gerry. That sounds like something that might happen in our house. Except it'd be me kicking the airer. Sounds like it might be product of overtired parents struggling with the adjustment in life that's apparently required when two become three? Not that that helps much presently. I just wanted to say I do get your point and I send calm eco seaside vibes to you.
My dh is in London this evening and, considering a chat we had before he left, his communications have been decidedly wankerish.
Let's all sell our stakes in our houses and buy a big pile somewhere and live as a community.
Having said all of this I'd always prescribe a kiss before sleep because sleep is too precious to mess around with when you're a parent. Kiss now and have the wanker chat tomorrow?

StormyBrid Sun 25-May-14 10:33:07

Gerry, you know what they'd say on the relationships board, don't you? Throwing crockery and kicking things? If I were you I'd be sitting him down and having a talk about his temper, and how he will learn to control it if he expects to stick around. I'd also be having a talk about how when he doesn't do his set household tasks in good time, he's effectively leaving them for me to do because he can't be arsed, which is Not On.

On a more practical note, can I suggest clean cat dishes for every feed? Mine have three pairs of saucers, they only get meat when DD's in bed, and once it's eaten the dishes are immediately put in the washing up pile and the floor around them is swept and scrubbed as necessary. You wouldn't eat off a dish that had old crusted food on; why does DH expect the cats to? It's grim.

And it's too late now, Gerry, but I would've gone up to bed, DH in the marital bed, and sent him off to the spare room!

The app is still broken. I miss you lot. sad

Plonkysaurus Sun 25-May-14 11:24:10

Gerry ugh. This is what our spats are like too, and I'm sure it's because life is just more hectic now. There's all the responsibility of having a baby, which entails going to work to feed and clothe said baby, which involves striving for a better job and/or work life balance, and bills to pay, and cats to muck out and feed.

And sometimes you feel like kicking an aired because of a really stupid argument that you needn't have had in the first place. I hope bet he feels like a right twat now. Like Eco, it's definitely behaviour I have also displayed in the past. If the relationships board wants to see that as a red flag so fucking what, better an airer than a door, or pent up emotions that never get expressed. As long as it's more of a one off than regular behaviour. I how it's all sorted now and that with the rose tint of hindsight you can shrug it off and make sure he knows in the future that you deserve more help. Because you both have a lot to do, it's not fair that he doesn't do his bit.

Anyway I'm very sweaty and muddy now having gone for a good run. I ate too much porridge before though so it was a bit boaky towards the end.

And apologies for all the cocking swearing.

yummychocolate Sun 25-May-14 17:25:02

gerry you probably are both tired and stressed with all the demands of life. I'm sure/hope you are both laughing at how stupid the argument was in the first place.

dolicapax Sun 25-May-14 20:58:19

Gerry I'd say it was one of those stupid arguments that arises out of being over tired, and short of time, where things get said and stupid stuff (like kicking airers) is done, but actually none of it is really meant. I've had a few rants at DH recently, which if I'm honest have been more to do with me being tired from the dolitoddle's preferred bedtime of 10pm, than his personal failings.

As for the relationships board, it is inhabited by a wide mix of people, most of whom are on there because they have been treated appalling by someone themselves, hence are a little prone to shouting red flag and LTB.

Your story did remind me of something I read on another thread though, where someone confessed to having a rule that the baby's bowl had to be sterilised every night before bed. It was her DH's job. If he ever came to bed having forgotten to do it she sent him downstairs again. This became known as 'the tyranny of the baby's bowl', although not until many years later. At the time it was very important. Tbf cat bowls are a tad more manky though, so I'm with you on the need to wash side of the fence.

Interesting weekend here, DH has been on a mission. The garden has been cleared, the mountainous bonfire burned, and the glaziers have been given a week. I believe he has been spouting legalese at them, and he never does that. In short, he's cross. I'm not surprised actually, as they've taken three months, expressly ignored his instructions, so the roof leaks, as he said it would if they did it their way. i have a horrible feeling we are going to have to get another firm to completely redo it. Sighhhhhh. Thank you for the floor recommendations though, I'll get a sample and see how it looks. Although I might wait on a roof first!

We're looking at another 10pm bedtime again, help! She's had one 1 hour nap at 1.15pm, so has been awake for hours.... but she isn't tired, and resolutely won't go to bed.

yummychocolate Sun 25-May-14 22:24:14

Ahh doli I feel for you with the 10pm bedtime. I am usually asleep by then never mind a toddler being up that time. After our 2 blissful weeks of sleeping for 6 hrs then our hit of snot/ww/teeth we are back to square one with shit nights. I literally mean that too. I put ds to bed about 7.30ish and went to check on him and there was shit everywhere in the cot. Poor ds has diarrohea.

I am not sure how you could get dd to bed earlier. Have you tried starting bedtime routine 5mins earlier every couple of nights?

StormyBrid Mon 26-May-14 09:23:56

JESUS Christ on a proverbial, the mobile site is horrid. And my lie in was ruined by cats. Not having a good day. Can't delete the capital letters Jesus either. Stupid thing!

Bedtime poos are popular here too. She goes up at 7, by 7.30 she's shouting for a nappy change. Hopefully this is just a phase. Also popular at bedtime is standing up,, pulling the curtain and blind aside, and then lying back down to sing row row row at the sky. It's cute, yes, but sleeping would be cuter.

Shatteredmamma1 Mon 26-May-14 09:28:12

Hope DS is ok yummy. Poor you and him.
gerry hope things have been sorted now?

Thanks for the nap update - was interesting. eco think we are the most similar to you. Sounds restrictive but we also freestyle it on weekends so we can get out and about. Seems to work ok touch wood.

plonk you said this ages ago but we are also anti squash for DS here. Nothing wrong with water whilst they'll drink it!!
Pleased it is bank holiday and so off work. Nice to have short weeks. It's been a busy one! Off out for lunch here grin so will go and sort myself out. Happy Monday ladies.

BettyOff Mon 26-May-14 11:44:47

Happy bank holiday one and all!

Yummy I hope the nappy disasters have stopped. Changing beds overnight is akin to torture!

Gerry I hope all is well & you've squeezed a proper apology out of him. I've been known to throw the odd hissy fit along with various household objects but instantly realise I should have controlled my temper and apologise then mumble 'you fuckwit' at the end under my breath

It's a lovely day here so when I took DD and DDog to the park for the usual nap-inducing walk instead I let her out for what turned into a 90min playing ball with the dog/eating plants/playing on the playground adventure. It means we're still nap free and having a very early lunch before venturing out again but that's what bank holidays are for! DH was on nights all weekend so has taken to his bed and is therefore absent for the day until dinner time.

I hope you're all having a lovely day.

Anypants Mon 26-May-14 21:23:01

FFS - I thought it was just me with the app problems...

Just caught up and can also bolster opinion that yes, sleep deprivation can cause stress. I had my first night of unbroken sleep last night for a week and it didn't seem so bad being with DH. Every day prior I have spent any free time plotting my exit strategy and who would get the house and whatnot. But today? Nah, he's just a man who responds badly to being asked to read a story. Or doing the bath. Yes - still a bone of contention but have resigned myself to just getting on with all parental stuff unless he volunteers. Saves arguements and thrown crockery. They are all knobs though. But we wouldn't have the DCs without them now, would we?

Happy Bank Hols all :-D

Plonkysaurus Mon 26-May-14 22:13:36

You lot who use the app - is it any good? I use the mobile site because the app looks like a toddler made it, but I mostly MN from my phone.

Any glad to hear you're coping and have had more decent sleep. Is he picking up any slack at all though? Because if not then I think that bone of contention will knock you over again soon. It's really not all men either, and I really do hope you haven't just resigned yourself to a life of toddler tyranny with no partner to back you up.

Thing is, everyone on here, and I mean everyone has mentioned at some point that they've struggled with their partner. The important bit is working together to find a solution to cope, to be nicer to each other and love one another a little bit more. Have you managed that? I've been thinking of you and hope you're ok. Cos you deserve to be innit.

Betty your day sounds lovely. Did you have a nice afternoon?

Doli may I please borrow your dh? I want to shout legalese at my landlord for 1. Telling he's selling the house and then making no further sounds, so we still don't know what's going on. 2. Repeatedly delaying inspection for 15 months. 3. Related to the previous point - the house is falling down around our ears and I'm getting fed up of telling ds not to poke the crack in the wall/don't step on the wobbly step/taping the shower tiles up (we've run out of gaffer tape now). He sounds just the ticket. Send him round forthwith.
Seriously though hope his words have the desired impact and you'll soon be free to enjoy your home.

We had a nice day here. Lazy morning with a quick work out for me, got plenty of housework done the day before so had the pleasure of waking up to an (almost) spotless house. Made the decision to ditch all the stressful aspects of the wedding and do it our way instead of the expected way, and it feels great. And we had a nice longish walk around a lake in the rain, before coming home to a huge chicken dinner and a quick 2 mile run for me.

Now I'm curled up with a new book at the ready and some soft bedding. Night all.

yummychocolate Tue 27-May-14 10:21:23

We are still in sickville here. Ds vomited up his breakfast. Poor thing. Lots of cuddles is needed today and not just for ds. I cleaned up sick for the first time since he has been weaned and yuck! Sorry for tmi this time of the morning

What is ok to feed him? Not that he has an appetite. He had toast and slices of cheese this morning. Maybe it was the cheese that made him ill.

Weather is appalling in London. Rain rain and more rain. This will be my second day at home with an ill toddler so you may all have to save me from going insane later.

Right ds needs my attention catch up later.

StormyBrid Tue 27-May-14 10:53:26

From memory, stomach bugs means a diet of water, until you can keep it down, then digestive biscuits. When you can keep those down you're good to go. And milk is an awesome breeding ground for bugs so should be avoided - but how that fits with such a youngchild who still needs milk, I don't know.

The app is usually grand, Plonk. Quick and easy to navigate. Much easier than the mobile site (which is still doing my head in). It's android phones having issues with the app at the moment, so if you've got one you might as well stick with the mobile site until it's fixed.

yummychocolate Tue 27-May-14 10:59:09

He just threw up water too.

StormyBrid Tue 27-May-14 11:44:56

I'm really no expert, I'm afraid. Keep trying small sips from time to time?

Things I hate about the mobile site (for Plonky's benefit):
Too many buttons everywhere to accidentally click
Long-ass loading times
25 posts per page, once you've read 'em it's long-ass loading time again
Having to manually navigate to the last page of this thread and scroll down every time I look at it (app has all on one page, most recent first)
I keep accidentally clicking "remove" when trying to click this thread in "threads I'm watching"
Did I mention the long-ass loading times?
Text is slightly too small for easy reading
To get back to Active after reading a thread it's a stupidly long scroll up and then hit the wrong sodding button anyway (on the app you just hit back)

Things that suck about the app:
It's currently broken
Sticky posts stick forever when you're looking at Active Posts, or at least until you log out
If you're looking for a particular topic to post in (say, Chat, or Sleep, or whatever) it's a ballache to find the topic unless you know exactly where it is
Can't scroll up and read previous posts while typing (the only major downside, really)

Join us on the dark side, Plonky!

Plonkysaurus Tue 27-May-14 12:14:01

I'm on a different kind of dark side Stormy. I have an iPhone. And I like it.

Yummy we've had our fair share of sicknesses here (I think three in six months). What we've learnt:
Frequent tiny sips of water. This means we have had to take the beaker away when he's starting to glug it, but it really is for his own benefit - too much water = vom.
When he's starting to get his appetite back let him have whatever he wants. Screw fruits and veg, let him have toast and jam if that's what's staying down. No milky/yoghurty things for a few days though just to be sure.
That said, whenever DS starts to feel better after a bug he will eat chocolate. I know this is MN and We Don't Feed Our Children Sugar as a rule, but it really seems to help.
Dummies get rejected here as they seem to make him worse while the gag reflex is stupidly sensitive.

I hope he improves soon. It's horrid when the small people are poorly. Awful for them but also gruelling and quite lonely looking after them I think. Make sure DH brings you chocolate.

StormyBrid Tue 27-May-14 12:48:23

shock An iPhone? Noooooo!

What is it with the We Don't Feed Our Children Sugar thing? Surely everything in moderation is a far better rule? Although we learnt on DD's birthday that No Death-by-Chocolate Cake Half an Hour Before Bed is a good rule.

yummychocolate Tue 27-May-14 15:56:06

Ds is having a snooze on my bed while I sit next to him with mn and chocolate. Doctor has given us until 6pm for ds to do a wee. His nappy is dry as a bone since 7am.

I use the mobile site which im happy. Never tried the phone app.

The no sugar rule is hard when they see other people around them eating it and want to try a piece and very hard if dgm offers it to them anyway. Like dgm something my mum would put sugar on weetabix and gave me the disgusted look when I said only banana in weetabix please.

Plonkysaurus Tue 27-May-14 17:02:40

Hope he manages it Yummy. How long has he been sick now?

ecofreckle Tue 27-May-14 20:34:45

Oh yummy, sounds horrible? Did I wee come? Where are you now? Sending love and get better vibes to ds.

BettyOff Tue 27-May-14 21:30:50

Oh Yummy, tis shit when they're poorly. Does he take calpol etc ok with a syringe? Madam loves calpol so will take anything from a syringe and this includes water, weak squash (good with a poorly tummy I find) and dioralyte. As everyone else said let him eat little bits of anything he might fancy too. Digestives are excellent sicky food.

As for sugar, I'm not on the banning it bandwagon mostly because it would break me so DD has a try of most things and probably a couple of choccy biscuits a week. Excellent for bribery I find where the hell is the bad parent emoticon hmm

Plonky I'm on the Apple bandwagon too. I bloody love it! Sorry Stormy!

Today DH was off and so we put DD in nursery and has a date day. It was good! We went to the cinema, had cocktails and got a train home for a quick sobering coffee before wandering to pick the girl up. A day like that every now and then reminds me that I do actually love him and want him in my life and can overlook the messy laziness or continue the slow process of moulding him into what I want grin

dolicapax Tue 27-May-14 21:47:43

Yummy get well soon Toddleyum. Hugs to you. It's so tough when the toddles are ill.

Betty yay! Your date night sounds like a real gin and tonic. I think we should all copy.

Any glad things have picked up with you guys too. I have a theory that men are just slow to 'get' parenting, but they do get it eventually if they have to do their share.

Plonky your LL sounds rubbish. I'd loan you DH for the day, but I fear he might object to being treated as a mere chattel. Has your LL given you formal written notice? If not, regardless of what his plans are he can't actually make you go anywhere.

Happy days here, as dolitoddle actually went to bed at 9.10pm. This is huge.... and I have a whole 50mins extra of my life to just veg. Result. It could be better, given the evening wind down routine starts at 7pm... but hey, I've just gained 50mins. How could I not be happy? grin

Stormy sugar is the evil white powder of death. How could you not know that wink. Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't it up there with pombears, fruit shoots and loud parenting???!! Or am I confusing RL with MN mantras confused. Personally I don't give dd alot of sugar, because I don't eat a lot myself, but if someone else gives her a treat I'm really not bothered, and I never knowingly go on a long trip with her without at least one bag of organix gingerbread men. A little bribery goes a long way wink

Night all. Sweet dreams, unbroken sleeps, and wet nappies all.

Plonkysaurus Tue 27-May-14 22:09:52

I control sugar. In that I do the obvious thing and make sure he gets a balanced diet, but that means a few sugary treats now and then. Or one day he'll go batshit at a birthday party and eat all the cake and be that kid. There's a thread running ATM about a raw vegan kid who demanded bread once out of his mothers restraining eye. I don't want to be that mother. So he had a Nice biscuit after nursery.

But I believe it's a MN commandment - Thou shalt never give dc sugary shite. Unless it's organic, natch.

Yummy any update? Thinking of you, hope he's drinking (and a hug for all three of you).

Betty date day! Love it! Sounds superb and I definitely think dp and I are in need of that. Well jel.

Doli enjoy your stolen 50 minutes! I love stolen snatches of time when ds unexpectedly sleeps. Feels like a real victory. And yes, my LL is terrible. Apparently there's been some ill health so we're not really chasing it up - while we certainly don't want to have to deal with moving before the wedding we also don't want to be responsible for causing him yet more stress. What I don't get is that we used to use an agent, but he opted to go private, and it's led to this. I could pay dh in...erm...fish finger sandwiches? <clutches at straws as penniless> or I could just grow a pair.

Oh I know, I'm totally mac literate. I could solve your non-Windows dilemmas in return for you solving my ll problems. Cos macs are better.

yummychocolate Wed 28-May-14 07:03:35

My post I did last night didn't post. Gp sent us to hospital as ds didn't wee. Typical in hospital waiting room he did wee but they wanted to test his urine for infection. After hours of waiting to catch some wee we had no luck. They sent us home to collect sample and bring back to hospital today. So far ds hasn't vomited up as much as yesterday. My mission today is to catch urine in a small pot. I can't imagine how much harder it would have been if he was a dd.

Thank you all for your support.

StormyBrid Wed 28-May-14 08:41:25

Good luck with the wee sample. I can't imagine it'll be that easy even with a boy! Fingers crossed it's just a tummy bug and already passing.

The only sugary shite DD ever has is organic. Because I don't see much point feeding her inorganic things, as she won't be able to digest them. What with inorganic things basically being rocks or metals.

rainbowtoddle Wed 28-May-14 10:10:18

yummy do you have a potty? We had to catch a urine sample from DD when she was about 8 months so we sat her on the potty and had stories and games till she went after about 45mins. She was drinking though and used to sitting on the potty as we have done it most nappy changes since she was about 6.5 months but might still be worth a try?

As for sugar, we don't have any as a family at home as a rule since January when we cut it out so that DD didn't see us eating it. I have lost 8kg since then as a result while still stuffing myself with cheese and butter which is an awesome side effect! But we do treat ourselves while out and about. We have a rule that we won't eat anything that we wouldn't be prepared to offer to DD as she is used to eating what we eat so she has sampled some goodies along with us as treats. We plan on having weekend treat times when she is old enough to understand so that it isn't a forbidden substance! Although we don't really eat any processed foods we do have pombears in the house!

StormyBrid Wed 28-May-14 10:25:38

DD's lovely Greek dentist would like you, Rainbow, he's very much in favour of one treat day a week. She just had a small piece of Easter egg as a reward for sitting still and letting me trim her nails though.

Is anyone giving serious thought to potty training yet, or is it just some nebulous future wossname to be considered at an unspecified future date? Recently my dad pulled a face when I said I was expecting potty training somewhere between two and three, but I was reading a thread earlier today which seems to suggest that's normal.

Plonkysaurus Wed 28-May-14 10:37:07

It's a wossname here Stormy.

DM assures me I was potty trained at 18 months. My laugh was short and hollow, but I am thinking of purchasing a potty soon to see if we can catch the morning poo.


rainbowtoddle Wed 28-May-14 11:15:01

stormy we are doing potty training here already of sorts. We did a very simplified form of elimination communication method with DD since she was very small. Every time we see DD do a wee or a poop we bring her attention to it, make a noise and discuss how pee and poop go in the potty. She is now very aware of what she is doing and will sign and point as she goes in her nappy and point at the door and sign (roughly!) for her potty. We started by sitting her on the potty every morning soon after she wakes from about 8 months and she does a pee most mornings now and about 50 per cent of the time stays dry till nappy change mid morning when she pees again on the potty. From 10 months we sat her on the potty at every nappy change and before bed so she is very familiar with the process. I often go to the toilet at the same time to show what it's all about! She has started signing that she needs to go at other times but at the moment she only gives us seconds warning but it's a start. I'm a firm believer in starting early but only because I have friends around the world where that is very normal and some who don't even really use nappies much at all but rely on the proper elimination communication method) which I didn't have the energy to do!

StormyBrid Wed 28-May-14 11:20:31

We have actually had a potty since the first trimester. The younger of my sister's kids was fine with the potty but funny about the loo back then. They came to visit, drove up overnight, left the girls at my brother's while my sister and her husband caught up on sleep. Niece was too shy to say she needed a wee. Went through seven pairs of knickers that day. Don't think she enjoyed it much, because the next day she decided she was a big girl and going to use the toilet. And that was that. So she decided to leave her potty here for Fartypants to use.

rainbowtoddle Wed 28-May-14 11:29:52

We use an ikea potty - highly recommend as middle bit comes out so easy to clean!

StormyBrid Wed 28-May-14 11:41:55

Ours is just basic, one moulded piece of plastic. Not dissimilar from the one I had as a small child, which I still remember my mother complaining about having to empty (in my defence, I would happily have gone down to the loo in the night if I'd been allowed!).

We draw attention to excretions too, but I think we'll be sticking with the "wait until she makes it clear she's ready" method. It seems to result in very rapid potty training with minimal accidents. I don't mind sticking with nappies for longer if it means not spending most of my time cleaning wee and poo off a rented carpet.

somethingbeginningwith Wed 28-May-14 14:32:10

Another one here with app issues and too lazy to entertain the idea of the mobile site

Oh man, we have to start contemplating potties now? DS seems to enjoy pooping in the bath. Can I just leave him in there all the time? Or is that, like, neglect or summink?

yummy how is ToddleYum today?

betty date day sounds lovely. For my birthday this year, MIL and FIL are coming over to baby and puppy sit (cos we'll have our puppy by then and I'm crazy excited) so that DP and I can have a date night. I suggested Zizzis, he suggested local pub grub. Can't complain really, I won't be paying.

We do sugar in moderation here. I think that as long as he's getting a balanced diet, a la ToddlePlonk, a few treats here and there won't hurt. Besides, he spent the morning with DM and he's there all day tomorrow so supposedly will be licking it out of the sugar bowl by the time I pick him up.

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Wed 28-May-14 15:13:25

Potty training? Hell no. I don't know a single person who has done it before 2ish. My plan, unless dd appears ready earlier, is that next summer we'll do 6 weeks of running around in the buff in the summer holidays. Kudos to rainbow and rainbow toddler for getting in there so early but, to be honest, that just sounds like effort

I know of many toddlers who, at 2.5, say "I'm not wearing my nappy anymore mummy", and when told "ok well you'll just have to use the toilet then", just get on with it with minimal accidents.

I do always have her in the bathroom with me, and tell her what I'm doing and when! I also always ask 'is there a poo in your nappy?' Even when I know the answer, just to try to get a dialogue going about it.

Thanks for talking to re: DH. Disappeared through embarrassment about banality of the row, although am still a little grumpy with home which I think is much more about housework in general than specific tasks. Stormy- DH is pretty much the least red-flaggy type of bloke you've ever met. In fact he's bordering on being a tad wet-blankety. I've done a cleaning rota. Is that awful? He's just got no housework initiative.

So, have started running, but sometimes feel a bit pelvic-floory afterwards. Is this ok? Will it improve or am I damaging myself? Is it linked to the spd do you think? I'm still trying to remember to squeeeeeeeze, but I don't know if I'm supposed to go back to feeling completely normal afterwards?

StormyBrid Wed 28-May-14 16:00:31

Gerry I wouldn't say a cleaning rota is awful, no. There are two angles to consider. One is the practical: if you drawing up a rota means he'll crack on and get things done without further input from you, then grand, your life will be easier and less stressful. Then there's the theoretical side of things: why has he got no housework initiative? If you weren't there would the house collapse around him, or would he learn to get things done in a timely fashion? If he's struggling to keep up with his side of the housework and would benefit from a rota, why isn't he drawing one up? As women we're expected to take the role of household manager; by being in charge of the rota you retain ultimate responsibility for everything on that rota (if you don't write it down, it doesn't get done). Which is fine if you want to be the household manager. If you don't want to be, then it sucks.

I view it as similar to parenting, in that both parties need to be aware of and capable of doing the basics. Just as you both need to be competent with DD, you both need to be competent around the house, so that if one of you isn't available the other can pick up the slack (without a lengthy list of written instructions).

What's going to happen in future when it becomes apparent that new things need adding to the rota? Circumstances change, after all, older children present new chores, if you have another that'll be a whole heap of extra chores. Is he going to notice the need for an alteration in the rota and discuss it with you? Or is it going to be left to you to notice and make the necessary changes?

Also, I'm not for a moment suggesting DH is doing this consciously and deliberately, but no housework initiative? Sounds like code for can't be arsed, better things to do, someone else will pick up the slack. If I'd been brought up in a world in which men ran around doing all the housework and organising of daily family life while women pottered about and read the papers and played golf, I'm pretty sure I'd have no housework initiative either. Because subconsciously I'd know that if I just didn't let the chores register in my conscious mind, someone else would do them soon enough, and so they would ultimately be Not My Problem. Are girl babies born with a special radar for mess that boys lack? Of course not. Anyone can learn how to keep a house running relatively smoothly, it's not particularly difficult (or I wouldn't be able to do it grin), but you have to want to.

That got long, sorry!

StormyBrid Wed 28-May-14 16:17:09

Still musing on the same topic, forgive me rambling!

When DD was born, it was very obvious to me that she was my responsibility. If she was crying, I couldn't ignore her and wait for someone else to see what she needed. If her nappy needed changing, I couldn't just wait around for the shit-fairy to sort it, I had to do it myself. If she needed clean sleepsuits, the washing machine wasn't going to turn itself on, I'd have to do it. Having her made a very big difference to me in that regard. It really made me realise that, within these walls, I am responsible for everything, and she needs me to be at least halfway good at it.

Unfortunately, this means that when the man had a similar realisation about just how much his child needs him, there was already someone around who would change a nappy, get up in the night, sacrifice own needs and wants for the baby, and so on. So he's still got that sod it, someone else will do it mentality.

Plonkysaurus Wed 28-May-14 20:13:04

Rainbow well done on the weight loss. I like the idea of keeping treats for out of the house, it seems very sensible! Were you also doing couch 2 5K? How's that going?

Gerry the rota makes me shudder a bit but only because I know I'd never be able to stick to one, and feel someone affronted if I were presented one in my own home. However I guess that you've resorted to it through lack of any real action on his part, so it's likely a much-deserved kick up the bum to him. I've not experienced any pelvic floor issues when running but I think the link to the MuTu exercises Doli mentioned a couple of months ago could help you. They focus on your core, which includes your pelvic floor, and work the whole lot as there's no point only doing kegels apparently. link here

splashysplashy Wed 28-May-14 20:54:25

Me again. The old wine lover with a, erm, sore arse. Name changed just cos.

dolicapax Wed 28-May-14 21:01:05

Gerry if a rota is what it takes for him to step up, then I'd say it is way better than asking, which is usually construed as nagging.

Stormy I'd question the assertion that men are just lazy because they know someone else will do it. I'm of the opinion some just aren't bothered about dirt. DH proved this point admirably when we separated. I moved out, he was in the house. When, after quite a few weeks I ventured back in to get the place ready to sell I was hit first by the smell and second by the dirt. He'd given the dogs the run of the place, but not bathed or groomed them. They are outdoor dogs so the central heating had caused them to moult. Liberally. Everywhere. That was just the dog related side of things. His mess was secondary but no less impressive. The point being he is actually happy to live like that shock. Me, I'm a neat freak. Our compromise is a cleaner.

It's not all bad though, as dad's go DH is a good un. Aside from a slight paranoia about cleaning girl bits properly he'll parent without prompting, and when it comes to toddler friendly play he's the toddle's favourite partner in crime.

Yummy how's Toddleyum this evening?

Potty training? Hell no. We're still at the stage where she likes a bit of private space, so can everyone leave the room please, and come back when the grunts stop. I'm assuming that will make her either very easy to potty train, as she gives obvious signals, or very difficult in that she prefers an empty room. For now though I'm parking the issue.

Pelvic floors - if it feels wrong after running, don't run. Same with any exercise really, if something feels wrong don't stress it as it'll end in tears. Seated rather than the upright bike in the gym, or swimming might be better aerobic options for now.

Oh damn. DH has just beaten my Dolitoddle bedtime settle record. 9.05pm, and she's asleep. Tomorrow I'm going for 9pm. Wish me luck grin

dolicapax Wed 28-May-14 21:03:34

Well hello there old sore arse grin. I think I've spied you there, wine in hand, under your cunning disguise.

splashysplashy Wed 28-May-14 21:17:43

<sidles round a corner in the rain, lapels upturned to disguise my drunken face> you talking to me?

Stormy I'm trying to use the app and I hate it. Bleuch.

BettyOff Wed 28-May-14 21:33:14

Gerry I'm pro rota. I completely see Stormy's point and in an ideal world she's right but lets face it, none of us are perfect. DH is a lazy bugger that would rather avoid cleaning and tidying and likes to ignore it in the hope I do it. I like to avoid cooking when I can't be arsed to and instead say I'm happy to only eat biscuits knowing he'll step up and cook a meal. It's swings and roundabouts. I think a rota sets out what you have compromised on that definitely needs doing, split it fairly and takes away a constant niggling argument but only as long as he agrees with it. It doesn't matter who drew it up just that you're in it together.

As for the pelvic floor, spend the next couple of weeks to a month devoting yourself to PF exercises. 10 minutes, three times a day. A mixture of quick pull up/let go and holding for 10secs. It's so bloody worth it if it cuts your risk of problems that have a huge affect on quality of life. Try running again after this and see how you get on.

Potty training is a far away concept for us. As with everyone else, I talk to her about it and tell her she's having a wee when I see her do one on the bathroom floor during nappy off, pre-bath time and when I see her doing a poo in her nappy but I plan on waiting until she tells me she's ready or hits 2 and a half. I admire those of you putting the work here but I'm more of the lazy school of parenting!

Doli excellent news on the earlier bedtimes. Enjoy your evenings!

Yummy it sounds like a gastro bug and fingers crossed it's passing already and you're all on the mend. Did you manage to catch a wee?

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Wed 28-May-14 22:20:30

You see, with DH I don't think it's a boy v girl issue (sorry to have minimised your beautifully eloquent musings into such simplistic terms stormy) more that I am a Doer and DH is a Do It In A Minute kind of person. In that situation the Doer has usually Done before the other one gets there. And yes, he doesn't really see mess and dirt like I do. Before I moved in, he lived in actual squalor (think 3 month old burnt pizza still sitting in the oven) so the fact that he's pretty nifty with a Hoover now is an achievement. But he's a terrible procrastinator, so, for example, he'll say "I'll sort the kitchen", but he'll then fall asleep on the sofa. So 2 hours later when he eventually gets to it he's all dozy and only does half, or I get grumpy because he could have had time to load and unload the dishwasher if he'd just got on with it. And yes that's probably partly because he knows I'll do it, but it's also partly because I DO just do it... The rota thing is an attempt to give him some cringy teacher management speak ownership over tasks instead of me just nagging him all the time.

Maybe we'll just get a cleaner

Betty! You do one of the things that drives me the most mad about DH! I say "I'd like you to help with the cooking sometimes" he says "fine, as long as you're happy with beans on toast every night". Don't do that! I don't want to think of you as annoying! It's my pet hate because it feels like a weapon!

Um, splashy, if you're who I think you are, I'm not sure how I feel about the nc... Coped ok with everyone else's, but I just don't feel like I know you anymore.

StormyBrid Wed 28-May-14 22:25:00

That's the thing with principles. They're all very well and good in an ideal world, but they're useless unless you can find a way to make them mesh with reality. And how we choose to do that will be different for each of us.

doli I fully agree, there are some people who just don't care. Until two years ago I was one of them! There are interesting angles to that too, though. If you have visitors, and your house is a bit of a mess, and they're horrible judgeypants visitors, it's usually going to be you they're judging for the state of the place, not DH, because the home is traditionally seen as the woman's responsibility. It's easier for men to just not care about how clean the house is, because there's less pressure on them to maintain a lovely home in the first place. When men don't care, they have the weight of cultural expectation behind them. When women don't care, we do so against the weight of cultural expectation. And I'm rambling again. Anyway, if a cleaner is the compromise that works for you both, then that is excellent (and I am totally jealous).

Meanwhile, in Fartypants Land, headbutting is the greatest thing ever. Or at least, the greatest way of expressing frustration and rage. Several times now, she's tried to fiddle with the gas thingies on the hob, and I've told her no! in my best Stern Mummy voice, and in her anger at being thwarted she's headbutted the oven door. Which I keep a towel hanging over, lest she burn herself. Evidently the towel served to make the headbutt unsatisfyingly padded, because she stepped sideways, gave me a look of utter disgust, and headbutted the cupboard instead. And then cried because it hurt. I do occasionally wonder if she's entirely right in the head...

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Wed 28-May-14 22:57:13

Head butting is big here too stormy. Except here, it is HILARIOUS. At least it is hilarious the first 9 times. The 10th time it hurts, and we have tears too. No sense no feeling?!?

Plonkysaurus Thu 29-May-14 04:57:57

Quite Gerry. I'm not sure who that interloper was...

Mess here is dealt with efficiently by both of us, when we are in the mood to deal with it. That doesn't mean a equal share because I am at home all the time. It has to be neat for me to get any work done, and I cannot abide waking up to a mucky kitchen so that always gets done before bed. But dp has been nagged enough to always been quite a clean person, and thanks to his asthma it's best if the place doesn't get too dusty. So that job falls to him by default. We genuinely seem to have gotten through the nagging stage sans rota, but I do suspect mil had a word. The way I see it, it all needs doing. Easier to do a bit everyday. The way dp sees it, he's out the house 50 hours a week for our benefit. He usually does bath time and doesn't want to clean at 7pm (fair does). So the compromise is he does his fair share at the week end. I don't trust him with laundry whatsoever <eyes expensive handmade woollen blanket now size of pillowcase>

And silly insomnia. I've gotten used to a set amount of sleep. Now I've had it I seem to be wide awake. Ds hasn't made a peep. The app is growing on me.hmm

Shatteredmamma1 Thu 29-May-14 06:24:33

Plonk we also had a 4.45 start hmm not by choice though!!
Agh splashy I don't know who you are??!!
<thick face emoticon>

We argue about housework too. But DH does about 70% or more of cooking, always does bath time, and all DIY, and will clean the bathroom/kitchen if nagged. Could def be worse.

I need to keep up better. gerry hope you're ok
still think you're very tall grin eco how are you?

How's the poorly DS something ? or yummy?

Shatteredmamma1 Thu 29-May-14 06:28:18

Ooh ps doli good work on the bedtime. It'll be 8pm before you know it grin but then what will you do with all that extra time in the evening??!!

Plonkysaurus Thu 29-May-14 08:46:28

Shattered do you now have to go and do a full day's work after a 4.45 wake up? Bless you. And I think I might know who splashy is. I'll give you a clue....she's not splashy anymore (psst, over here).

Yummy any update? Hope he's ok and keeping water down.

Yes eco, where in blazing buggery are you?!

I managed to get back off to sleep. DS had a fantastic night and didn't make a peep from going down at 7pm until 6.50 am. I don't think that's ever happened before. And he's popped another tooth out without making a fuss. I can only assume fussiness since March has been illness/wonder week related.

I've just dropped him at nursery and been told his keyworker has moved on to another part of the nursery. I feel inordinately sad, and I know IABU. I really liked her, and can only hope he stays at the nursery long enough to move into the other bit she's in, but I doubt that's going to happen. The new one seems nice enough but I've only spoken to her a few times, and it feels like I'm dropping him at nursery for the first time all over again. Before having DS I would've just thought 'get a grip, he's fine' because she's qualified, but for the first time I do not know the person I'm leaving to care for my pfb. I know I'm rather late to this party, having been quite laissez-faire until now.

Can someone hand me a grip?!

On a lighter note, I dreamt that Something got 7 A's in her GCSEs. So well done, that girl.

somethingbeginningwith Thu 29-May-14 08:56:21

I think I might be in the minority here but...DP does pretty much everything housework and cooking-wise, often to a fault which I know doesn't sound like a fault but when Sunday comes and he's excited to "spend the day cleaning the whole house together...no With the exception of laundry, ironing and the majority of the washing up, he pretty much does it all. I don't mean that I'm a slacker and don't do anything, don't get me wrong, I'm perfectly adequate when it comes to housework and will do it, but he seems to enjoy it so I don't quabble. It does mean that, aside from playtime (because daddy is the bestest playmate ever in the world ever), I do all ToddleSome related things. That can get quite overbearing sometimes but it's a balance that seems to work for us. And I'd much rather cuddle, play, do bathtime and food times, than scrub floors wink

gerry if a rota works for you, then that can surely only be a good thing? I might mention it to DSis actually because BIL is a pile pots in a sink of dirty water, mountains of damp clothes on top of the tumble dryer, sweep dirt into a corner then trample through it, kind of guy. That's where most of their arguments come from and I do feel really bad for her to see her struggle with family, work and house all on her own. So it's really good that you're finding solutions!

shattered it's ToddleYum who isn't feeling very well. But yes, yummy how's he getting on?

splashy get thee gone, you stranger grin

doli great news on the earlier bedtime, there's a whole new world of evening on your horizon!

stormy headbutting is great fun here. So fun actually, that DS likes to sit in front of the fire place and softly knock his head back onto the sticky-out corner bit much to mummy's horror but he seems to like it. I agree with gerry on the no sense no feeling. That's become our mantra.

betty I totally thought you said pro-rata and I was trying for ages to work out how that had anything to do with anything. Maybe I should go back to bed?

But instead I'll get coffee on a drip and sit at work pretending to...work. Happy Thirsty Thursday all!

StormyBrid Thu 29-May-14 08:58:11

I know something's only a bopper, but I didn't realise she was young enough for GCSEs!

4.45 is criminal. My sympathies. DD was asleep by quarter to eight (after the usual post bedtime great big shit). Not a peep until 7.30. And she must've gone back to sleep, because I drifted off again and she woke me at 8.30. Feel free to send stabby thoughts in my direction, I'm well rested enough to take them. grin

somethingbeginningwith Thu 29-May-14 09:03:39

x-post plonk

Only 7? Do you fink I'm fick? I like dream Something, she's well more cleverer than me.

I totally understand the way you're feeling about ToddlePlonk but you know he'll have that new key worker doting on him by lunchtime and you'll get to know her as she spends more time with him. All you need to know is that he's going to be just as well looked after and he'll have fun making mischief for somebody new grin

StormyBrid Thu 29-May-14 09:18:42

WTF, bopper? Teenybopper? I meant nipper! I guess autocorrect is just as much of a bugger on the mobile site as on the app.

App update: hq assumed the problem was linked to recent slow server times. It wasn't. So they only actually started looking into it yesterday.

Plonkysaurus Thu 29-May-14 09:27:31

Stormy I hope you've got your fire proof pants on wink No I believe good sleepers are born but I don't doubt that your approach to sleep in the early days has laid good foundations for you. Toddlestorm seems to know not to mess with mummy's sleep!

Something seven is perfectly respectable! Especially when you already hold several, and A-Levels, and a degree. Even in my dream it did pass my mind that perhaps you ought to aim slightly higher.

Yes I'm sure he'll bond with the new keyworker. She's not mumsy like the last one though, and I think she's only 12 years old. She is nice though, so I'm sure he'll be fine. Plus if she's only a whippersnapper herself then she'll have plenty of energy to keep up with him.

Shatteredmamma1 Thu 29-May-14 10:01:58

Ha plonk grin. Today is actually my day off work- phew. DS is having a well deserved nap (!) and I have done my chores so now here! smile. 4.45 is an unusual start time for us, we have worked hard on sleep (I agree plonk some are born good sleepers) and if it wasn't for HUGE molars then we normally have a 6.30 ish start. And I have to get up by then anyway!!

somethingbeginningwith Thu 29-May-14 11:03:00

I like being a bopper grin

StormyBrid Thu 29-May-14 11:48:33

I do wish good sleepers were made, not born. Just think of how much money I could have made selling the secret to Betty!

I was going to say isn't seven GCSEs not really that many? I'm sure it was standard to take ten when I was at school. Then I remembered that, clever clogs though I was at school, I only came away with eight of them (because I don't count a) the E grade or b) the course I got kicked off).

Yesterday we had a hellishly grumpy toddler. I suspect tiredness was part of it - she wouldn't go to sleep until 8.45 the previous night, and at naptime she just about fell asleep on the bottle and was out for three hours. Today she is obviously much better rested. The difference is staggering. I spent an hour and a half pottering in the kitchen this morning (beef in slow cooker, yum), and she entertained herself with barely a whinge the whole time. The house did look like a bombsite when she was finished, mind.

I'm loving this speaking toddler business. Cute moment last night.
"Can Mummy have a kiss?" I asked. She gave me an approximation of one. "Can Daddy have a kiss?" I asked her. She gave him a suspicious look, and then, "No!" she shouted. And grinned at herself.

somethingbeginningwith Thu 29-May-14 12:04:13

I love it too stormy. The other day I asked DS if he wanted a banana, and he pointed to them and said "narna". Then today, he toddled over to the sofa, peeked into my Dad's porridge bowl, which was empty, and said "gone". Proud mummy moment!

Can you tell I'm at work on a computer, what with all my excessive posting?

Plonkysaurus Thu 29-May-14 12:17:32

I'm sure MN was invented to save the sanity of the hordes of computer-based workers, something!
I've been superbly efficient today, have done as much table planning as I have materials to do, been to the gym and bashed out several kilometres on very things, had a sauna and done lots of work. And still 2 and a half hours until I go to fetch DS, so I should probably get more work done. But now it's MN lunch time.

Toddler speak is so funny. We have sounds for cat, dog, car, and bath. For gone he lifts up his hands as if to say 'all gone', and if DP performs pratfalls, as he is wont to do, DS slaps himself in the face in embarrassment. And yy to the difference sleep makes. Ideally he has a two hour nap in the middle of the day, but if that doesn't happen you can guarantee a return to the Witching Hour days of old.

I have decided that we are going to TTC. We are going to have a girl called Joss. Or Robyn. And a puppy. These are my plans.

StormyBrid Thu 29-May-14 12:38:45

After... Joss Whedon? Could be worse.

We have arms up with things that are gone too. She tries to say allgone as one word. There's an initial vowel, a definite g, and another vowel sound, and it's consistent, but the pronunciation needs work! Also keeps pointing at her mouth and saying maow. And we have an attempt at milk and cat. That's about it for words so far.

yummychocolate Thu 29-May-14 13:41:10

Just posting to say toddleyum is over the worst. He is keeping water down and slowly moving onto solids. It wasn't a urine infection but he has gasto something. I forgot the name. I'm at work but leaving early to be with toddleyum. Got so many posts to catch up on.

and who is splashy?

StormyBrid Thu 29-May-14 14:15:27

Gastroenteritis? Medical term for a stomach bug. Glad he's on the mend!

StormyBrid Thu 29-May-14 15:11:29

The app is fixed. Yay! grin

dolicapax Thu 29-May-14 15:55:21

Afternoon all, especially the now defunct Splashy, who has if I understand it correctly left us to go and sit back at the table on her sore arse. Or something.

Stormy good sleepers are definitely born, not made. Miss Perfect Pants down the road (she is unaware of this name.... but I take my kicks where I can get them) birthed what can only be described as the world best sleeper some time last summer. 5.15pm, and Perfect Pants junior was tucked up, every night, and sleeping through. Then they hit 6 months..... and oh, how I laughed. Well actually I didn't really, although I may have stifled a small snigger. She's now hitching up the bags under her eyes with trowels of foundation, and eagerly looking forward to getting over the sleep regression hump and rejoining the world of day light living again.

GCSEs. I did those! Does that make me young? <hopeful> I wasn't even the first year to do them second

Still no recognisable words here, but she her recognition skills are picking up. Yesterday she got hold of one of DH's precious car magazines (oh ok, I gave it to her grin), and the sound of shredding paper was suddenly interrupted by excited squeaks. She'd got the magazine open on a picture of an old man sitting in a classic car, and was looking at it, then me, then it, and getting into quite a fluster about it, saying ba ba. Naturally I had to take a closer look to see what all the fuss was about, and I'll be damned if this bloke wasn't the image of DH. DH at about 70 that is, but an absolute ringer for him. So there you have it, the toddle thinks her daddy is a 70 year old racing driver grin.

Sunny day here now, although it wasn't earlier, and... da da dadddddhhhh... the conservatory roof is almost fixed, the floor screed is in, and the place actually looks like a room. It will one day be gorgeous. DH blast him has pulled it off again. He's irritatingly good at things. Except cooking. That's about all though bastard

Eco now where are you young lady? Out enjoying the sunshine I assume!

StormyBrid Thu 29-May-14 16:06:06

If my calculations are correct, doli, that means you're two years younger than the man. I hadn't realised Adrian Mole missed GCSEs by so few years. Also, yay for conservatory progress!

ecofreckle Thu 29-May-14 23:05:10

Yikes, I love a bit of prolific marchers. Haven't kept up properly as MIL here and no dh as he in bloody Bedfordshire. Now in bed so time to say hello to you lot.

Doli, fun in the sun? No no no. Not been any sun here for days. Rain. Lots of it. We officially have no clean outdoor gear. It's all in the washing machine. Five coats and two all in ones. We have a massive love in with muddy puddles going on right now.

Yummy I'm pleased that the worst is over. Sounds stressful. He have dinner tonight?

Something why is it that we all dream of you and your mansions and qualifications? You hold a strange power over us.

No head butting here. Yet. Lots of fecking kicking mummy during nappy changes though. How does one chastise or discipline a toddler?

We also have traditional values in this house. I value tidy spaces that are clean. Dh values cuddles on the sofa. I think I mentioned before that our solution was for me to notice stuff and tell him. He doesn't take that as nagging. He just doesn't notice stuff/care about detail. But he cares when it means something to me.

What else have we been chatting about? Can't remember I'm afraid. We have colds and are tired and a bit fed up. That's my excuse. Despite that we have been having healthy doses of wet fresh air each day. I like the splashy (were you drunk Plonky?) fun.

We have big news. Someone who was not mummy or daddy put Ecotod to bed for the first time. And she went to sleep! Proud! I thought it'd be good practice for when we need that to work. So mil put her to bed tonight. I know you've done this Doli, anyone else, or am I late to the party? It feels liberating. I have faith in our bedtime cues and routine now. With this sample size of one :-)

I hope you are all well and that none of us have a day starting with a 4. That's just rude. Plonk and shattered I'm hopeful for your mornings.

It's very nearly overfamiliar Friday my lovelies! Whoop! I get my dh back. :-)

Ps. Stormy app not working for me yet. Is it for you any and something?

WottaMess Fri 30-May-14 07:05:46

Hello! Sorry for leave of absence. Just so blooming busy! We have toddle--snotty--mess at the moment, poor tyke. Made for disturbed nights all week and potential fun for a long drive to visit the ILs this weekend. Ugh. I am soooooo tired.

Eco, grandma will be putting Toddlemess to bed Monday and has done it before. Bathtime scares her solo - he's so slippery and wriggly - but there's enough to the rest of the routine that it still works. She's only done it a couple of times fully alone, several with just one of us. But loads of naps. Seems to work. grin

Right, tea, shower, work. In that order. Big sloppy kisses to all you sexy bastards! smile

Plonkysaurus Fri 30-May-14 07:23:40

Tea? Of a morning, Wotta? Heathen! (Or should that be teathen?) it's coffee or nothing here, I visibly wince if anyone mentions tea before 11am. Hope wottatod feels better soon.

There you are, eco! I might have been pining for you slightly I wondered where you've been! Very jealous of your muddy puddle splashes. Wish ds would get his walking on so we could test our splashsuit out before the weather goes nice again. Apparently dp doesn't understand the appeal of a big splashy puddle and thinks the awesome navy blue starry waterproofs are a waste of £20, so I'm waiting to prove to him that it's the best £20 I've ever spent. But without walking there will be no wellies!

Great news on the sleeping front, dd must be like a different child from 6 months ago. Can only imagine how good that must be for your mental health. Not that you're nuts, even though you are a bit but I'd be batshit on such poor sleep.

I still want to name change but all the good names are taken sad the name was inspired by Eddie Izzard describing how you flirt in a swimming pool. Oh well, Plonky is as Plonky does.

Stormy no clue who Joss Whedon is, I just like the name. Have sudden and desperate realisation that our family isn't complete, so am plotting away with money and when to ttc.

Eight weeks tomorrow I become Mrs SilliestNameEver. Just so I know, roughly how much should I have organised by now? You lot are the experts on most things, can I leave my plans up to your collective wisdom if I make enough brew and bring [pombear]?

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Fri 30-May-14 08:02:33

Plonk by T- 8 weeks I had done all the big stuff (venue, dress etc) and none of the small stuff (favours, decs, etc) I guess as long as all the stuff that needs to be booked is booked (at the very least stuff that gets booked up early), then you're fine.

Dd is pretty good at going to bed. She's been happily put to bed by both my mum and my step mum. Next weekend will be the first overnight that we're both away- at a wedding. My sister is having her, not sure who is more nervous.

I've woken up feeling all anxious today. Not sure why. Actually, I am, lots of things I guess. Sky dive 4 weeks away and I'm still not at target, so I'm about to embark on a crash diet that basically involves dry toast, grapefruit and grilled chicken (I know I know, not safe etc, but this really will be short term and I'm prepared for the yoyoing effect of crash diets, I can deal with that afterwards). It's the diet they put people on when they need to lose weight fast for an operation apparently so can't be that terrible. The interest free period on my credit card that got us through the last few months of maternity leave has come to an end and I forgot to balance transfer so I've got that icky feeling that I'm spending pointless money on interest until the new card comes through (I know, stupid position to get self in. It's fine, we'll pay it off eventually, just feels a bit suffocating at the moment). And it's back to work on Monday, and I HATE this term- anyone that has you believe it's all videos and games is having you on, it's the worst term of the year, the kids are mental and senior team have loads of time on their hands so suddenly think of loads of things for us mere mortals to do.

And I still don't know where I am with DH. I can't really say more than that because I'm a bit scared to verbalise it. But things just don't feel great at the moment.

Anyway, off to soft play idiot this morning which at least gets us out and about, and we have a planless weekend coming up which is a relief as we're so busy at the moment

Plonkysaurus Fri 30-May-14 08:24:21

Gerry sounds like you're under an awful lot of pressure. I hope soft play isn't too torturous.

StormyBrid Fri 30-May-14 08:43:08

Plonk Joss Whedon was the chap behind Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And coffee is vile muck. So vile that for nearly a year I made the man go and drink it in the garden so I didn't have to smell it. I've relented now, but he happily switched to tea in the meantime. Ah, tea! I get through gallons of it. In this house it's known as Mummy's Magic Wake-Up Juice.

My dad put DD to bed once, in May last year, when the man and I went out for my birthday. No one's done it since except for naptimes. But next weekend should be fun, Fartypants gets to sleep in a new place without me. The man's taking her to Shirebrook for his mum's birthday. I can't wait. I can have a proper hangover and a proper lie in!

StormyBrid Fri 30-May-14 09:13:54

Gerry let's have some positivity to help you feel better. When you started I was hovering around 16st 3lbs, and today weighed in at 15st 8lbs, so I bet you've done better than me! How much have you lost? It's worth celebrating even if you aren't quite on course to hit your target. And how much to crash off?

And I know what you mean about not wanting to verbalise. Doing so makes things much more real, doesn't it? If or when you want to verbalise, we're all here to listen.

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Fri 30-May-14 11:09:12

Soft play was great, apart from the little shit darling cherub who nutted my pfb (I mean literally ran up to her and head butted her to the ground). The mum was suitably apologetic, very cross with her boy, made him apologise and took him straight home, so no AIBU being started here. Kids will be kids eh?

Ok stormy, positivity. When I started I was 17st, I'm now 14st7. A stone to go and 4 weeks...eek!!

I'm hoping I won't need to verbalise because it'll all go away, but if I do it'll be here!

Oh, and you're all wrong about tea and coffee. This is how it goes:

6am tea
8am tea
11am strong coffee with milk and sweetener
4pm tea
10pm peppermint tea.

Times are changeable, but this is roughly what everyone in the world should do to be happy...!

somethingbeginningwith Fri 30-May-14 11:23:11

Good morning all you sexy bastards!

gerry that child reminds me of me as a wee one. Apparently, we were all once at a pub and another family were sitting at a table close-by. They had a little girl too, who was eating a packet of crisps. I smiled at her, walked up as though to go play with her, pushed her over and snatched her crisps. I am a darling. Hope DD is plotting her revenge as we speak.

Also, congrats on the weight loss!!! That's incredible. Well done you grin

I had an 8am tea today plonk I love tea. Tea makes me happy. I've got a hot chocolate now. Have I blown all your minds by having an evening drink midday??

eco the app was working for me last night, not tried it today. I love that you all dream about me. I like that I invade your subconsciouses...that surely isn't a word? stormy help?

DS has been put down to bed by both my mum and MIL, and probably DSis, quite a few times. The boy is like his mother, he doesn't care where he sleeps, he just wants to sleep.

I am now a lone parent until Sunday afternoon. Well, I say lone...we're off to DP's grandma's for dinner tonight because Grandma dinner is the best dinner, then we're going to a wedding tomorrow and DS is staying at my mum's at night so...I've actually got quite a fun weekend planned.

What are the rest of y'alls plans?

StormyBrid Fri 30-May-14 11:44:57

Subconscious minds is what I'd have said.

Two and a half stone lost! That is bloody brilliant, Gerry. Another stone in four weeks will be tough. Have you got any limbs you could cope without, and a hacksaw? Whether you hit your target or not, you should be VERY proud of yourself!

dolicapax Fri 30-May-14 15:15:47

Plonky if it makes you feel any better at 8 weeks before I was pretty much in denial about the whole thing, and was no longer speaking to the caterers because I wanted to just order something of their menu and they wanted me to drive all the way out to the venue to taste stuff. Like why? 6 weeks before I was in NY on business and in a mega sulk about it, because who wants to be in NY when they could be at home with their DP (in my defence I was young and in love.... and obviously had no clue). About a month before I got my arse in gear. So on that basis, you've got ages.

Gerry bloody hell woman you've done brilliantly. Whatever you manage from now is incidental in the grand scheme of thing. 2.5 stone!!!!! That's nearly 2 toddles!!!

As for DH, can I be so bold as to suggest now really isn't the best time to be making any fundamental decisions on that front. I think the stage you guys are at is probably one of the hardest in marriage, as you've been together long enough for the honeymoon period to have worn off, but not long enough for either of you to have attained your career goals, or reached the comfort of the financial stability of middle age. Throw in the massive adjustment that is the first year of parenthood, and you've got the potential for a bit of a wobble.

The diet won't be helping either. I have a tendency to not eat when I'm stressed, and when I haven't eaten enough my mood goes pretty black and everything about DH drives me half demented. That's normal I'd say. Bodies don't like being short of anything, be it food, or water, or even emotional support, and they tend to give up on us when they are.

Do you think you'd benefit from a bit of a break from the day to day? Maybe spend a weekend at your mum's, so you could put your feet up, or do a bit of work prep, whilst dd played with granny and chased the dog. Sometimes it helps to break the routine, and I'm sure your mum would love to see you. Failing that come over to mine and have a moan! I have tea, and no chocolate grin

Stormy enjoy your weekend off. You'll miss her you know! I'm totally ok with dolitoddle not being here during the day, but at night... too weird.

Oh and if I'm two years younger than the man, that makes the man exactly the same age as DH. How's about that! We're all old

Plonky is MrsSilliestNameEver taken? It has a certain ring.... grin

As for me, I have just been for a swim, and the water is so warm now my feet only went white then blue. We're past the purple spotted stage. So that's good then.

ecofreckle Fri 30-May-14 21:52:57

Boom boom boom, let me hear you say Gerry. GERRY!!

That ditty was for you gerry (4 hope you guessed that) because you're having hard times and because you've lost a shit load of weight which must have taken immense willpower. Go you! And DoliOwl speaks wise stuff. No major life decisions like relocating to bloody Bedfordshire for the first two years of a baby's life.

My app is working for me now. Thank feck. Agree with Stormy that mobile site is awful. Plonky have you converted now?

Something what did grandma make for dinner?

Wotta we have had a snot week too. It's a disaster here.No thumb sucking to sleep. Imagine!

Plonky use the suit regardless of walking. Take some wet wipes and let him crawl through wet grass. He'll have a total sensory hoot. Eight weeks before most crafty stuff had yet to be started and we had no bridesmaid dresses and menu wasn't decided. You'll pull it together. You are RoboPlonk. Splashy splashy and the thought of izzard made me smile. But not lol. Izzard would think that very vulgar.

More stamping through the woods today, but in sunshine finally. Mil ironed everything that came in off of the washing line, washed all pots and stayed home during nap so I could go to sainsbury. And aldi. I could be very controversial about the clientele in aldi but I won't go against the mn masses. Needless to say I always tackle my visit there as if it's some sort of interview practical challenge. But, be that as it may, what I wanted to say is mil has been very helpful and dh is now back so feel tiny bit more like a person person rather that a slave

Christening gift got. I'm pleased. You can call me a weird hippy. I got a British made woolen rug made from recycled wool and a copy of the book 50 things to do before you're eleven. My hope is that the blanket will see her through many outdoor adventures both as child and adult. It's my take on guiding her through life appropriately. What percentage knob am I?

ecofreckle Fri 30-May-14 21:55:52

And I meant to ask, Doli, can you take your toddle swimming at home at any point or is it too cold? When do we stop caring about pool temperature for swimming babies? Do you know DoliOwl?

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Sat 31-May-14 08:04:05

Thank you everyone, feeling a bit better today after an impromptu beer and pizza evening with our best friends last night. Crashing starts today! That amount of weight is totally doable but completely unsustainable, which is fine right now.

I'm currently being a very good person and letting a tired looking DH have a lie in. I know that lots of you do the shift thing, and most of my friends alternate lie ins at the weeken, but we've never really done it, probably because DD's a fairly good sleeper. Maybe now's the time we start as I'll be expecting a lie in tomorrow!

Eco/Doli, our swimming instructor suggested these and claimed baby can go in any temperature water in them. Within reason I guess. Think we're going to get one and try it out in the North Sea in august...

Plonky forgot to say I know how you feel about the change of key worker. It's looking like, if I go full time in September, we'll have to move dd from the childminder that I LOVE as she won't be able to do the extra days. Already feeling sad about it even though it's only theoretical at the moment.

Proud mummy moment this morning- I actually taught dd a word! She pointed at my mug. I said 'tea'. We repeated this twice, she then pointed at it and said tea very clearly. Clearest word so far (apart from cat, which is used for every single animal). We now have recognisable approximations of: cat, yes, no, again, one two three, tea, daddy (used for every man). We also have huge leaps in understanding. 'Shall we have breakfast/lunch/dinner' sends her running for the dining room. 'Bathtime' towards the stairs. 'Cbeebies' and she grabs the remote not very pleased about this one, daddy's fault I think 'let's go out' and she grabs her shoes. All incredibly cute, although I just can't get my head around how quickly she's growing up. I need another baby soon I think...

StormyBrid Sat 31-May-14 08:50:13

God, yes, the understanding is incredible, isn't it? I just wish DD could work out what "if you don't stop kicking me mummy will get ^very cross^" means!

Glad you're feeling a bit better, Gerry. And I'm going to be so jealous when you hit target, even if you do yoyo back up a bit. I honestly can't remember when I last saw a 13 on the scales. Came bloody close, I hit 14st dead on before pregnancy weight gain kicked in. Right now I'll just be happy to get below 15st 7lbs. I've got to 15 7 a few times of late but never below it.

Plonkysaurus Sat 31-May-14 11:38:15

Is this the wedding that's shockingly close to my house Something? Cos ya know, I'm allll aloooone tonight wink

Eco I may well pop the splashsuit on and let him go native in his grandad's boggy field. Superb idea.

Gerry we don't do weekend shifts here either. Once in a blue moon dp gets up with him, usually if we've had a very bad night and I can count my hours of sleep on two or three fingers. I'm particularly grumpy today because I got up at 6 (not bad in itself) after dp did the noisiest coming to bed ever at 2 am, woke me and ds up and I ended up having to co sleep to settle ds. There was a lot of humphing.
Well done on the weight loss, that's fantastic. It's it an absolute jump if <the weight limit and not a grey area? Obviously as you're being sponsored you could always do another ridiculous challenge for charity. I hear there's a muddy run in Augustwink

Doli I yearn for your approach to weddings. The to do list is scaring me and I'd love to run orf to New York. I'm getting nervous now. How long does it take to get used to having a different name? And referring to someone as DH when they've been DP for four and a half years?

Ds and I are off to meet an old friend for lunch today, which I'm rather looking forward to. DsoontobeH is going to a party in northants so I'm planning on a very exciting evening of food and sleep.

StormyBrid Sat 31-May-14 11:56:58

...Did Plonky just proposition something?

Plonkysaurus Sat 31-May-14 12:03:25

Well she is nice...

yummychocolate Sat 31-May-14 13:21:34

Hi all. I have missed a lot and doubt I will be able to catch up with all the posts I have missed. Ds is now on the mend and his usual cheeky self throwing objects out of the window.

Im waiting for ds to wake up from a mega nap to go out for a stroll and sandal shopping. I bought ds sandals from kiddiecare but his wide feet don't fit them so clarks it is for us.

Gerry well done on your weightloss. You can so do the last stone. Go for it. We are not overly strict on shifts which is our downfall and end up arguing about. It is hard to share lie ins when dh works 6 days a week.

For me I have tea at breakfast. Coffee mid morning and another coffee mid afternoon as a pick me up.

Ds is understanding and copying what we do a lot more. Ds is getting good at doing housework with me. Loading/unloading the machine and hanging out the clothes and the odd bit of dusting. I am a bit worried about his speech though. He will say the odd word clearly then never say it again. Hope I am not confusing him with talking in two languages.

Shatteredmamma1 Sat 31-May-14 13:52:53

yummy didn't realise you were bilingual. DS may speak a little later but will be fluent in both languages- that's amazing. Supposed to be very good for their brains too. grin.

I'm a tea person. Don't like coffee blush. Equally though I don't like herbal or mint tea- grim.

We don't have loads of words but he definitely understands no!!
Off to the zoo later grin I love the zoo!

Shatteredmamma1 Sat 31-May-14 13:53:37

Oh and ps gerry that is awesome weight loss. Are you actually not allowed to do the jump if you don't get to 13st7?

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Sat 31-May-14 14:08:03

I don't think there is room for manoeuvre on the weight limit, so I've got to get there. Would totally do mudderella if it wasn't so expensive and far away plonk- expensive would be ok nearby, far away would be ok if cheap. Going to do a 10k run in November though and maybe a half marathon in February is that mental?

Yummy it's a well known fact that bilingual children speak later, but keep going with the two languages because what an awesome skill is that to grow up with?

StormyBrid Sat 31-May-14 14:11:13

Seconding the advice not to worry about DS's speech yet, yummy. Kids brought up bilingual tend to speak later, because they have two languages to assimilate. I have two cousins who have always lived in Germany, their mother is English and their father is Lebanese. They were both very late talkers by the usual standards, but when they did finally talk they were comfortable in English, German and Arabic.

StormyBrid Sat 31-May-14 14:12:44

Oh, and the only thing DD has mastered with the washing machine is trapping her fingers in it, so yummytoddle is definitely ahead there!

StormyBrid Sat 31-May-14 14:15:41

Excuse the multiple posts, but I just thought. Are you yourself using both languages interchangeably? It might be easier for DS if you're consistent - say, you always speak one language and DH always speaks the other. But even if you are using both yourself, he'll still sort them both out in his head in the end, so really no need to worry.

dolicapax Sat 31-May-14 14:44:31

Thanks Gerry I think a pink wetsuit is just what we need! The temperature the pool is at right now would probably half kill her from hypothermia it nearly does me.

So Toddleyum will be bilingual. What a brilliant start in life! My niece should be, but isn't really. I think it takes conversation in both languages at home for it to sink in, and Dsis tends to speak English 99% of the time. No words here yet either, and no excuses. Dolitoddle likes to do things her way slowly

Kind of a sad day today as it was the last PT session with nice Mr Personal Trainer man. I owe him a lot I guess as he was the one the picked me up and put me back together when DH was a b*st*rd, kept me fit and kept me eating when I was going through the whole mess, which probably stopped me from losing the toddle before I even realised she existed, and at the end of the day persuaded me not to go through with the divorce. Lovely guy, who is as he puts it 'practically a hair dresser'. He certainly knows more secrets than anyone else in the district, and if he changed a few names could write a best seller. Sadly PT is a luxury of the single professional or those with childcare, and not something I can really justify any more.

Oh I think nap time has just ended. I can hear conversational squeaks.

rainbowtoddle Sat 31-May-14 14:51:25

yummy I'm from a bilingual family and it does seem to delay speech but when it happens, it happens fast. I have decided to speak to DD in English only at the moment because she emerged as a very early speaker and gets very frustrated with her verbal limitations so trying to facilitate it, along with using sign language which is working well to bridge the gap between languages in her brain. She has plenty of family members to speak in the other language for now anyway.

plonky I didn't take my husbands name on marriage - easy solution! We actually both ended up changing our surnames by deed poll after DD1 was born and died because at the point it seemed important that our name was the same as the one on her headstone. But it was a joint decision and we both changed our names at the same time. Makes my inner feminist very happy!

gerry well done on the weightless and good luck on the last bit!

StormyBrid Sat 31-May-14 14:59:10

Rainbow may I ask what name you both went for? Yours, his, double barrelled, something completely different, another option that hasn't occurred to me?

yummychocolate Sat 31-May-14 16:56:09

We usually speak to ds mostly in our home language but sometimes unconsciously I do use some words in english with a Turkish accent. smile

Growing up he will probably end up speaking mostly English because of school but I am determined to speaking our home language at home so he doesn't forget. I have cousins who don't know their language and I don't want to put ds in that position.

Feminists will hate me but I took on dh's surname. I didn't think too much about it but changing your name is a pita. Lots of phoning around and form filling. Theres also the inbetween bit of you having to use both names before everything is changed. I was really annoyed at school as I was always at the end of the register so I was probably glad to change.

yummychocolate Sat 31-May-14 16:57:52

Oh and thanks for the reassurance about the possible speech delay. I think health visitors usually worry about speech after 2yrs.

StormyBrid Sat 31-May-14 17:01:45

Feminists won't hate you for changing your name, yummy! If you changed it willingly they (we?) say fair play, your choice. If DH had forced you to change it, they might have some choice words to say about it, mind.

Plonkysaurus Sat 31-May-14 17:31:08

Glad to hear ds is on the mend Yummy. Did you ever manage to catch a wee sample? Also, out of interest nosy beggar that I am did you grow up here or in Turkey? How did you find becoming bilingual- if you were at all aware of the process? I think absolutely get him speaking both languages, it could prove a vital skill later on in life, as well as being a great link to your wider family.

Names is a tricky one. I don't know if I'm being awkward, or just having trouble envisioning signing my name as Mrs G-Saurus. Ideally I think I'd like something double barrelled but not sure it works, and I'd still have a different name to ds and dp. It's not like I have a professional title to preserve so I'm probably just being awkward. And my new name sounds like a Jane Austen character

StormyBrid Sat 31-May-14 18:10:01

Do you actually want to change your name, Plonk?

yummychocolate Sat 31-May-14 18:19:26

We did eventually catch a wee sample. It was hard. I left ds without a nappy and followed him wherever he went with sample bottle. We did miss a bit at the begining but caught the rest. I now have an idea how potty training will be with ds running around naked and weeing everywhere.

I grew up here but dad and mums extended family grew up in Cyprus (I am Turkish Cypriot but dh is from Turkey). Parents spoke mostly in Turkish at home and that is how I grew up to learn the language. It came naturally to me although during the teenage years I was rebellious and hated anything from my culture. grin

yummychocolate Sat 31-May-14 18:22:52

plonkyare you more worried about having a different surname to ds?

Just out of interest those of you who are not married (yet) is your dc's name your surname or double barrelled? If it was just your surname how did dp feel about that?

StormyBrid Sat 31-May-14 18:50:07

We're not married, never will be (because the man is anti-marriage), Fartypants has my surname. We did discuss it quite a lot, so we each understood the other's viewpoint, but it was academic really, because I wasn't prepared to compromise on surname, and ultimately it was my call because I could have registered her alone with any name I liked, and he couldn't.

His view was tradition, mainly. It hadn't occurred to him that in the unlikely event of him having a child it might not have his surname. He'd just assumed it would.

My reasoning was manifold:
In the event of a split DD would stay with me; having different surnames didn't appeal, and nor did one or both of us having the name of someone who wasn't part of our family unit appeal;
I don't like double barrelling (and neither does he), it makes for somewhat cumbersome names;
If he wanted the same name as her he was welcome to change his by deed poll;
Even if we got married I'd keep my own name, so us all having the same name wasn't an option unless he changed his;
There's a school of thought that says a man's name is his own, but a woman's is her father's. Not only do I object to this because it's rooted in the idea of women as chattel, but also his name is his father's just as much as mine is my father's, and his father's a douchecanoe, whereas mine's a decent bloke;
Probably more but I can't remember offhand.

There was compromise though. His surname can be a unisex first name (think 'orrible thick creamy liqueur), so she got that as a middle name. We compiled a shortlist of first names and took it in turns to cross one off, and eventually whittled it down to two. One that I love, that he'd thought of a horrible nickname for and so was dead against, but he hadn't crossed it off during his turn because he knew I loved it. The other, wasn't his first choice but had come from his shortlist not mine. I didn't mind it but wasn't overly enthusiastic about it either. So I crossed my preferred choice off the list.

In short, he picked her first and middle name, I got her surname.

StormyBrid Sat 31-May-14 18:56:07

Just my personal opinion, and you're all of course free to disagree, but I think that a baby should carry the name of the person who grew it and brought it into the world. I can't imagine carrying a child and not giving it my name.

Plonkysaurus Sat 31-May-14 19:17:24

Ds has DP's surname because the deal always was that one day I'd have that surname too.

I definitely don't want to just keep my maiden name. I don't agree that a girls name is her fathers and her married name is her husbands, that's just stupid. My name is my own and it's up to me whether I keep the name I've always had, mesh it with dp's to make a new name to reflect our marriage, or take his name because, well why not?

My problem is what the name is. It's a silly name.

StormyBrid Sat 31-May-14 20:10:00

Neither of the meshed names I can think of sound that great either. So would DsoontobeH be happy to change his name?

My eldest niece has her father's name for the same reason. They intended to be married and both sharing his name before having kids, she got pregnant before they'd set a date, and she'd already spent six hundred quid on the dress so wasn't prepared to get married in a different dress that would encompass her bump. Sounds fine to me, although she says now that she wishes she'd kept her name, because it was hers.

somethingbeginningwith Sat 31-May-14 21:00:27

plonk it was that wedding yes, although I only went for the afternoon and am currently on my second wine now so as tempting as a night with you sounds, I can't justify drink driving for it wink

DS has DP's surname because of the same reason Plonk said; one day so will I. It never crossed my mind to give him my surname and although I don't think I, or my name, belong to anyone other than me, it's never crossed my mind that I wouldnt take DP's name. That's what we're all happy with smile

DP came back a day early off his stag do. AIBU to be somewhat slightly peeved to lose out on my DP/DS-less night and morning to myself and wish he had just bloody stayed out? angry I mean...I love him but...I was so looking forward to my night of nothing.

Plonkysaurus Sat 31-May-14 21:14:51

Why did he come back early Summert? I'd be very cross if dp returned now, I'm curled up in bed with a cuppa and a mug and expect to be asleep within the hour! Silly dawn waking baby making mummy grumpy.

Doli seems tough to make Mr Nice Personal Trainer go away, he seems like a good sort after all he's helped you with. Any chance of future p-ting with him?

Running wise I'm most thrilled - I can run a mile without stopping now! Not a quick mile, but it's still a mile. Spending next Saturday in a spa with Dm and DSis (and my kindle while they both have uber long expensive treatments). Cannot wait.

StormyBrid Sat 31-May-14 21:19:01

A mile! Nice one! I don't think I could manage a hundred feet without stopping to cough up a lung.

ecofreckle Sat 31-May-14 22:59:33

I took dh surname. I like it. it gives me the shortest name ever. People assume I'm Chinese. I'm not. I kept my original name for work purposes as I've been known as that in publications and with other organisations and it's helpful to be remembered. I also have the Christian name that's on all my official documents, birth certificate etc. In conclusion I never know who I am and when call centre staff ask me my name it throws me. They then think I'm a weirdo. Complicated!
Plonky I quite like C G D. It sounds like a character who is a debutante doing 'the season' smile

StormyBrid Sun 01-Jun-14 08:18:15

C G D does flow well, yes. Not double barrelled, just two surnames. I quite like that. But I'd like it best if all three of you had those two surnames. If Plonky is C G D, but DH is T G and DS is G D, it sort of separates her from them. You could all legally have the same two surnames, but decide for yourselves whether to use one or both in general day to day life.

StormyBrid Sun 01-Jun-14 08:18:45

Whoops, if DS is G G, I meant.

Plonkysaurus Sun 01-Jun-14 08:23:32

Ds is GG, and dp really doesn't want to change his name (and I see that as his prerogative, just as this choice is mine). I'll likely become Mrs G, it's just going to take some getting used to.

Lovely day here so we're going for a walk in a very fine park before dp gets home. But ds has slightly scuppered my plans by going for a nap at 8.15am! I should probably take the opportunity to have a shower.

Is anyone else suddenly finding it way easier to get them down for naps? I let him grumble with tiredness for about 10 mins and then he's banana-ing and whining and goes down so easily. Making life that little bit easier.

yummychocolate Sun 01-Jun-14 09:43:22

plonky I think you will get used to it. There will come a time when you won't even think about the name change.

I have 101 things to do today. Im working the whole week this week so need to do meal plans for the week and be extra organised. I hope I survive the week. I haven't worked full time since I was pregnant.

The weather is lovely so im sure we will sneak in a walk in the park.

yummychocolate Sun 01-Jun-14 09:45:01

plonky I think they are finally realising when they need to sleep. Ds slept through til 5.30am. Amazing.

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Sun 01-Jun-14 10:04:31

Good luck with your full time week yummy, let us know how it goes, still terrified of the idea if this promotion happens for me probably should actually apply at some point

I'll be honest and say that I didn't really want to change my name, no real reason just felt like I was losing some identity. However, my desire not to change wasn't as big as the hassle I'd get from my in laws, and I just couldn't be bothered with it. They already see me as a dangerous liberal (have made it clear dd will not go to boarding school, pick them up on their casual racism, think maybe poverty isn't due to laziness, you know, radical stuff like that) the feminist issues around name changing was a battle I just decided not to fight. It took me another year to change my name at work, I was concerned that I would get a nickname with "horrible" put in front of my surname. Then I kept getting confused about what I was supposed to be calling myself, so changed it there too. Kids probably do call me horrible, but I don't really care anymore.

I could get used to this morning shift thing, especially as dd was up at 5.30 this morning and it was dh's turn. I got up at 8.30, what a treat! In typical lazy Sunday morning style he's gone back to bed while she has a nap and I'm enjoying a very peaceful cuppa smile

BettyOff Sun 01-Jun-14 12:17:32

Morning all!

We took DD and DDog to the park this morning to get DD to nap and instead she demanded to get out and because we were expected her to just drop off she was in a sleepsuit and no shoes but get out she did.....and then had a roll in the muddy grass while wrestling with the dog over a ball. They do love a mini-adventure don't they?

Plonky I kept my name at work and changed it at home and I quite like my dual identity. It means I'm Dr NameOne and Mrs NameTwo and I have a passport in one and driving license in the other. It took me bloody ages to get used to being Mrs NameTwo and I still get it wrong sometimes but it was the right thing for me and us. DD is as much DHs child as she is mine and he has as much right as I do to have the same name as her and I like us all having the same name. I think it's completely right that names could be changed either way but for a man to change his name to his wife's is a massive statement and would bring a lot of comment and explanation. It shouldn't be like that but it is and I think it takes a very strong person that really wants to make a statement and can be arsed with the fight. I guess I'm lucky that it's not a decision I had to make!! If I were you I might go for CDG but not double barrel and then you can choose to use the whole thing or just CG on a day to day basis.

Yummy we had 5.30 too! We'll make sleepers of them yet! Good luck this week. It'll fly by and I'm sure by the end of it you'll realise it was easier than you thought it would be but probably not something you want to do every week! That's how I felt when I did 48hrs the other week.

Something how was the wedding? I was at an evening do last night and had a bottle of wine and 3 G&Ts so this morning I have sore feet and a sore head! It was worth it though, I love a good wedding boogie!

dolicapax Sun 01-Jun-14 13:44:53

I changed my name, and I have to say it was such a complete PITA what with all the sending off of the marriage cert to various places, waiting for it to come back, re-sending it and filling of forms. If I live my life again I really wouldn't bother. The reason I did bother originally was that dsis didn't, and I lost count of the number of people who rang me up to ask what to call her, as they had no clue whether she was Mrs or a Ms, or a double barrelled, or still a Miss and I figured I could do without the confusion.

I also didn't like my own surname. It has one syllable, my first name has two, and whenever I introduced myself in formal circumstance such as work people used to run all three syllables together and think that was my first name. It was funny the first time. Then it got boring.

Plonky I won't lose touch with Mr PT man, he's a friend for life, and will be the toddle's godparent if we decide to christen her. He also does driving days with DH, so won't be vanishing into the ether any time soon. I'm just a bit sad to say good bye to the weekly chat with neutral bloke, who is practically a girl, so knows how to give advice, nicely!

Right, speech, be honest with me here. We have absolutely no speech what so ever other than babble, no pointing, and I swear that she is either a bit deaf or she doesn't know her name. 80% of the time she doesn't react, and the other 20% could just be coincidence. Should I be worried? Her motor skills are good, she can walk, run, pick up tiny objects, but speech and response seem very slow.

StormyBrid Sun 01-Jun-14 14:08:33

doli, don't worry about the ignoring you when you say her name. Toddlers are good at selective deafness. Does she respond to other sounds? Pointing, again, I wouldn't worry just yet. It's only in the past few days that Fartypants has started pointing at things, before that she'd sort of flail one arm in the general direction of whatever had caught her attention. No words is also nothing to worry about. There are a lot of stages they go through when learning to talk, and babbling is one of them. She'll get there when she's ready, and at the moment she's too young for a lack of words to be indicative of anything other than the fact she's not an early talker.

DD will give kisses if asked to now. It is possibly the most adorable thing I've ever experienced. grin

Plonkysaurus Sun 01-Jun-14 14:36:59

Thank you all for sharing your name changes/keepses. I'm erring on the side of changing it to Mrs G for simplicity's sake, but it's going to take awhile to stop being Miss G. I considering Mrs C D G, but that still leaves me with some awful initials (CJD).

Doli remember when you lot all had crawling babies, and babysaurus and wottababy still weren't even interested in rolling over by Christmas? I got very anxious about it. Everything I read said crawling happens between 6-9 months. An HV put us on a schedule, which only made me feel worse. And then he just did it. Two weeks later he was trying to pull himself up.

If she wasn't babbling I'd be concerned. It's worth noting your suspicions that she may have some hearing loss, but if she does it's clear it's not profound. Ds is great at responding to his name but still throws a deaf un about half the time when I call to him. She'll probably just do it in her own good time, but if you're really concerned call your HV.
Glad to hear mr pt is just ttfn not ttfg. We need people like that in our lives!

Ds's morning nap lasted a whole ten minutes. We had a lovely long walk inthe sun though, a now dp's home I get the joy of mowing the garden. Will this pleasure never end!

yummychocolate Sun 01-Jun-14 15:50:43

doli I wouldn't be too worried. I know there is a 2 yr check which may mean that all the things toddlers are supposed to would be around that age so that is when referrals would be made to the appropriate people if you are still concerned about dd not responding to you. Perhaps she is just being rebellious. Babbling is a good sign.

we don't really have pointing we just have arms flailing about and fake crying when ds wants something.

we had a lovely walk in the most amazing park. I forgot I was in London for a while. eco I remembered you goi g on our nature walk. Ds fell into a bush and it had to be stinging nettles.ouch. Now a pile of ironing awaits me. Such a wonderful life.

BettyOff Sun 01-Jun-14 17:38:26

Doli the NHS guidelines are that you should have a few words by 18months and that they should be able to follow simple instructions by then. DD ignores her name around 80% of the time but responds to sounds such as singing, dog barking, clapping, banging pans etc. does your DD respond to other sounds? If not then take her to the GP for a hearing check just to reassure you. I'm sure it's fine as she's babbling and still on the young side for words but it's horrible when these things niggle away at you! It's only the last fortnight that DD had suddenly starting understanding simple instructions and with that has come clearer words. These things often just come all of a sudden! I think DD's going to have a lisp. She only has a couple of words but all s sounds end and all d sounds are made with her tongue between her teeth, the same as DH when he was wee. It's a silly thing to worry about but worry I do and I also can't help comparing her to other babies the same age that have much more advanced speech. It's so tough not to compare!

DD is currently having her tea in front of the TV while I feel sorry for my hungover self on the sofa. Not a top parenting moment I fear! grin

Shatteredmamma1 Sun 01-Jun-14 18:57:25

Haha betty grin
Late to the party but I haven't changed my name yet. Now I have DS I will do though. No big statement. grin I just want to have the same name as my child.

We are on holiday! grin so may be quiet this week.
plonk hope the wedding planning going ok. I didn't get stressed until about 36 hours before and that was for reasons out of my control.

Can't remember everything else! eco it's June now...are you down sarf soon???
Happy sangria Sunday ladies! wine

ecofreckle Sun 01-Jun-14 20:03:31

Hello from the bath. We've had a 'get home and have all hands on deck clean of house' session so feel satisfied as I lie here. Earlier today we were at a christening in Worksop (Something and Plonky I thought I could smell you both vaguely so waved in case I was in the vaguest vicinity). I was responsible for the photography which was fun. I was let loose in church and appreciated the event more by paying close attention to the details. It's a shame that there will be no photos of Ecotod and I. We looked like something from the early fifties! I had a full skirted, fitted bodice, print frock on and baby had on pale yellow and white smocked dress with matching knickers and white socks (and chubbly legs). Cute I reckon! It was only by chance....the dress was only non jeans outfit that fastened up around my ribcage/boobs post baby. Lots of driving this weekend as we were at sister/dads last night. It was a rare one where everything flowed nicely and I felt like we were in a happy scene from a cheesy Richard Curtis film. Very lovely. My sister, nieces and I headed to the church to see mum at sunset and it was lovely. Then had a nice session with my old man going through mum's jewellery box and reminiscing. A rare few hours of the planets aligning to make all eight in the family satisfied and in good humour. Does anyone else have older relatives who exclaim at your offspring's amazing talents when there's nothing remarkable about them? Almost as if they've forgotten when kids do stuff. Sweet really.

Yummy your park adventure sounds like a necessary learning point for ds, hopefully he won't do that again. Good luck this week. Sounds hardcore.

Doli I'd not be worried myself unless she was showing no signs of hearing at all. Startling at the dogs barking for example. Speech will come in time would be my mantra. We've only had ' mummy' used correctly in context today. It all seems very sporadic here. What did you go for flooring wise by the way? I'll hopefully have a hovel to replan soon and the expanse of kitchen floor needs something so looking for something to inspire a cheap offshoot idea!

Shattered it's the week with June 17 in that we're supposed to be in Dorset. I saw supposed as we are expecting a completion date on our move to be thrown in our direction any day and dear for our holiday as a result. I'll keep you posted. You anywhere nice?

Plonky the lawn mowing is just the start of the bliss. Much more excitement like that around the corner. In less than two months! Have you purchased your foundation garments yet? I mention that because I wore my wedding undies today again for first time since wedding. Underwiring! How very daring of me.

Phone app is back for me which is great but means I am going from memory and it's exhausted now. Hello everyone else. What a lovely sunny day it's been smile

dolicapax Sun 01-Jun-14 20:39:08

The power of MN is a wonderful thing. I have gone from niggling doubt to reassured in the space of an afternoon, so thank you everyone smile. I'm sure she's fine, but then I go and look at all the men in DH's family and I think, oh h*ll, genetics are most unfortunate things. Every single one of them is ASD of greater or lesser degree so I'm hoping she is entirely her mother's child

Eco your outfit sounds gorgeous. I wish I could pull off such a look! Fingers crossed one of the other guests got some photos of you and Ecotod.

Floor? Ah well we're still at the theoretic stage, what with the roof being not quite there, and even less so since one of the guys caught one of the roof panes with a drill, and smashed it. In all honesty, it's like a Laurel and Hardy film out there! I'm not sure the tile option would work though. Too much red. The grey screed is actually not a bad colour, so stone slabs are looking increasingly likely.

Tis bedtime now, and someone is not tired, so I'm bracing myself for a long evening. It's not all bad though, as once she stops fighting sleep she does largely sleep through. 11 hours last night. High five for dolitoddle!!!

StormyBrid Sun 01-Jun-14 21:33:58

Doli dear, reread your first paragraph. The men in DH's family tend towards the ASD. Is dolitoddle now or ever likely to be a man? I have no idea why, but it's more common in males than females.

We've just had a two hour bedtime fiasco for the second night running. I kept wanting to scream. "FFS, child, stop throwing everything you need for sleep out of the cot, stop dragging things through the bars into the cot, leave the bloody curtains alone, lie down, and go the fuck to sleep!" I figured that would be counterproductive, so I took her some milk and read her GTFTS instead.

Plonkysaurus Mon 02-Jun-14 07:29:43

Anywhere naice Shattered?

Betty ds just had breakfast in front of the TV. I just cba with the highchair faff this morning, and the kitchens a mess so laziness won. Feeling any more human today?

Eco sounds like you had a lovely day, and with a lovely outfit too! I once fell asleep on the bus after school and ended up in Worksop. Interesting place grin did the mortgage come through in the end, or are you expecting to be in the fun position of sold home but not yet but another? How's the job hunt coming along?

Not yet found my foundation layer. I expect great big control pants, but no bra because there's one built in to my dress. Oooh I'm itching to see my dress again, mums been tweaking it this weekend.

Doli glad you're feeling better. Does she dance to music? The communication thing is interesting. I think ds being slow to get up and go meant his communication developed quicker than I anticipated - immobility meant he naturally seems more interested in people than exploring. Fwiw I know ds is saying dog and cat, and der with pointing means there. But to everyone else it sounds like do! And ga! Babble really.

Your builders aren't making a comedy are they? They sound a bit Monty Python to me.

Got up with ds this morning, changed his nappy and discovered...it was bone dry. I'm now worrying that he's horribly dehydrated, but he drank 7 flozzes before bed last night. Hmph.

rainbowtoddle Mon 02-Jun-14 07:49:09

doli DD has been very slow physically compared to most here with everything, rolling, crawling and now walking which she has only just started to show early signs of. All babies develop at different rates and have different preferences. DD has very obviously selective deafness in that she grins and turns her head away deliberately when she doesn't want to hear instructions!

stormy we selected a double barrel name for both DH and I with my surname at the end purely because we wanted DD1 to have a bit of us in her name. Wouldn't have been my preference but felt right at the time. Means DD2 has a handful of a name but again just felt right. When we married we agreed that if we wanted the same name as children we would both be prepared to change, whether his to mine or mine to his or a mesh and would see what felt right. We still us our own names professionally and in most other circumstances so the change is pretty symbolic anyway.

betty the problem with making decisions to try and avoid massive statements or upsetting people is we would never have progress - those early female pioneers getting us the vote and out of the kitchen made massive statements so it makes me and DH feel humbled to make even a tiny statement to support equality. The problem about people saying that every woman has a choice whether to change their name and theoretically every guy has too is the massive cultural pressure to select the father's name for both child and wife. Whether we like to admit it to admit it or not our choices are only as real as our culture allows even if they feel real as statistics show, whether it be name change, housework or childcare or ability to advance career.

eco love the sound of your dress! I really need to update my wardrobe for my new figure and also breastfeeding friendliness. Some our my recent outfits have been stupidly baggy and misshapen which does not do me any favours. You have inspired me to go get a beautiful dress to enjoy!

Our new word for the day yesterday was car, yelled at the top of her voice at every singly vehicle passing by accompanied by manic waving and saying bye bye. Kept her busy all afternoon so managed to get lots of lovely gardening done which was handy and very cute to watch.

BettyOff Mon 02-Jun-14 13:36:02

You're absolutely right Rainbow, I'm more than happy to be a bit gobby make a statement and make choices against cultural norms but DH, not so much, and it's up to the person that would have to make the change whether they want to or not. Good on you and your family for pushing for change though! You're obviously both very strong-willed!

I've just accidentally put DD down for a nap with a dirty nappy (she dropped very quickly before I could get to change it) and she was so solidly asleep I couldn't rouse her enough to change it. Fingers crossed her bum is ok when she wakes up! Bad Mummy once again!

Eco your outfits sound lovely, I do love a good dressing up opportunity!

dolicapax Mon 02-Jun-14 13:51:52

Stormy you have a point there. DH's mother and sister are both refreshingly uncomplicated!

Plonky DH has similar view from the opposite direction about the toddle. Since starting to walk she has managed to learn the layout of a rather rambling complicated house, with 3 staircases and many random exciting cupboards in cubbyholes, the garden, both fields and the various walks we do to both the village and the swings. That's no mean feat, especially when you consider FIL still hasn't quite got the handle on how to get to the room he sleeps in. His theory is she's at navigational information overload, and talking is just one thing to many. But then he would have a theory wouldn't he... what with her being the most intelligent child on the planet and all wink

You're right about the builders. It has got to be an orchestrated farce, hasn't it??? Hasn't it confused???!!! I haven't told you the half of it either, there is more, but there are limits to how much I can share without basically naming the lead characters.

Have just learned a valuable lesson in parenting. Do not ever take a nearly 15 month fully mobile small person to PC world without either a pram or a pen. Utter hell. The only good thing to come out of this trip was the realisation that our plans to fly to France later this summer were fundamentally flawed. We will be driving instead grin

yummychocolate Mon 02-Jun-14 19:17:54

doli i made that big mistake already but i let dh deal with ds running around. Is it too late to get rid of the builders and get a different team? I get stressed just reading your updates on the conservatory so god knows how you and dh feel.

stormy did dd finally get to sleep ok? Maybe its ww for her still.

Go rainbowtoddle on the new word AND its in context. We only have babbling and hand gestures as if explaining something very important. I meant to say before i think you have done great on potty training. You are very patient. How on earth do you keep a toddler on a potty for 45mins?!

eco i like the sound of your outfit. I bet you looked hot wink

betty you are a great mum. Sometimes things just happen. I keep knocking into ds and he bounces to the floor on his bum.

A top tip from me check the washing machine before putting a load on to wash. Me and dh watched his gym membership card whirling around in the machine. This morning i couldn't find my slippers and guess where they were. Yep in the washing machine.

dolicapax Mon 02-Jun-14 20:51:01

Yummy I'm with you on the washing machine pre-check. Dolitoddle's shoes nearly joined a 60 degree wash last week. I'm so glad they didn't. They are purple, and much as I like the colour purple I prefer the sheets white.

Don't worry, we're not stressed about the conservatory. Well not much. It may be a farce, but the team (if a little comical) are at least straight up honest, local, and willing to sort it out. We've done enough building work here to know that isn't always the case. Plus the roofers are hot wink

On a building related note DH was astonished to discover butter removes tar. I was astonished to discover that he didn't already know this. Please tell me I'm not the only one who spent my childhood buttering my feet after running up and down the (slightly melty) street in summer...

I hope all toddles (bar mine) are in bed. Mine is out playing ball with the dogs. I suspect this may be bad parenting, but it beats listening to her yell abuse at us from her cot grin

rainbowtoddle Mon 02-Jun-14 21:53:27

yummy we only did one 45 min potty session when DD was 8 months and we had to catch a urine sample. She was pretty happy to sit and read stories back then as that's the kind of baby she is. Potty time now is no longer than 5mins until she she is done then she gets up! We moved on to pull ups nappies in the last couple of days as DD has been trying to copy me in pulling down her trouser