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Dec 2011: Running around after our Cybermidgets...

(999 Posts)
Aethelfleda Tue 14-May-13 14:13:51

Roll up, roll up, it's the Dec 11 new thread.
Prepare to be upgraded (if you can catch them!)

OiMissus Tue 14-May-13 14:45:13

Hii, have been AWOL for a bit (again) but just in time to catch a new thread.
Figgy - so so sorry to hear your news. (((Hugs))) Hope you're ok. You might remember my friend suffered the same just recently. She hadn't bonded particularly, but the after effects and procedures that follow the MC made her feel particularly miserable and fairly traumatised by it all. sad
Just take your time, get some rest, put yourself first for a bit if you can. Take care.

OiMissus Tue 14-May-13 14:51:35

In other news, dH has a gambling counselling appt in July, in London. (So that's helpful! Not!) but never mind, he's going to contact them to see if either it can take place in Manc or not at 9:30am so that a train fare can be bought for non rush hour prices!
We finally had a BIG chat last night, and have decided that Relate is the way forward. We're also changing our habits to make time for each other too. We'll see.
Currently in a taxi in the way to the airport. A couple of nights in Warsaw never did anyone any harm! And light meetings too - nothing too arduous! And with my good mate/colleague. And The sun is shining! All good.

OiMissus Tue 14-May-13 15:07:21

Sorry figgy, that msg sounded thoroughly depressing.
My friend is of course fully recovered and happy and well now... And shall be drinking wine with me shortly on our way to Warsaw.

OiMissus Tue 14-May-13 15:09:09

Now it sounds like I actually only have one mate/colleague...
Wish us luck. The only direct flights to Warsaw are with the dreaded Ryanair (scum-suckers).

mopsytop Tue 14-May-13 16:36:03

Oh dear Oi ... not a fan of Ryanair.

Lashing here. Soaked after walk back from playground but at least Minimopsy is dry! disgusted to be made come home though... was kicking and screaming at being put into buggy in spite of the fact that it had started pelting it down!

Figgy, hope you're doing OK

Figgygal Tue 14-May-13 16:57:29

Hi ladies I'm fine really it's not been any worse than a normal period was only 6ish weeks I almost been forgetting its not a normal one. I'm happy that we want another but it won't be this year we even think about it for various reasons. nice to hear about your friend oi and ur progress with DH!!

Been in London 4 meetings today in my winter coat and scarf my brolly was blown inside out and it's just thoroughly miserable angry on train home to my men grin

Nice to

jigglebum Tue 14-May-13 17:40:40

Just marking place on new thread - thanks aethel (again I think!)
figgy hope you are doing ok.
oi - well done on being so proactive. I am rubbish - just bury my head in the sand about DH and I get on with the rest of life which is pretty ok.
Hideous hideous day here. Meant to be camping this weekend!!! I think not. fair weather camper me!

GaryBuseysTeeth Tue 14-May-13 19:06:33

<marks place> Thanks for new fred aethel!

oi, hope he manages to get a quicker appointment. Good luck with relate...although you probably need it more with Ryanair. Barstewards.

Figgy, have you tried taking a pregnancy test? I got a BFN on the 2nd day of my 10 day bleed (6/7wk mc) so didn't bother with EPU because of that.

A sleeping/grobag question; what's the best 'nextstep' if they're still in a travel cot? DS can undo his zippers now so shall we go for blankets? dreamgenni twinkletog? Back to sleepsuits? Ducttape to the mattress?

QueenofClean Tue 14-May-13 19:20:11

fanks for new Fred Aethel

Oi Hope DH can get an appt closer to home also hope relate works out ok,. Ryanair - have fun!

Figgy hope your OK?

<Waves to every one else>

Things are relatively calm here so fx things carry on getting better. throwing myself into working all day must be helping hmm

Right, the computer's throwing a bit of a wobbler so it's taken a while to get on...

Glad your DH has got something booked Oi, but what a wait and what a journey confused And that's good on Relate too; I've known people who just attend it once a year as an MOT as it were, and really hope it helps.

Another one v v pissed off with the weather- can't believe DP and I haven't sat out in the back yard once this year! When I have my new garden I shall have a summer house that I can shiver in under cover ha ha won't be able to afford a bloody cardboard box but never mind next summer.

Can't be much help I'm afraid GBT, DS is still in his worm (grobag) and wears a full onesie underneath.

We've got the carpet organised and being laid next Wednesday, and have sorted with the agents- will sign on the dotted line tomorrow. Full steam ahead!

AnAirOfHope Tue 14-May-13 21:19:28

Salmon Catching place marking

6th Wedding Anniversary today and we are waiting for the kids to go to sleep then off to have fun, Air is singing Foo Fighters skin and bones to himself in bed. Go to sleep its 9 oclock child

Figgygal Wed 15-May-13 08:05:39

Morning all

Congrats on Anniversary yesterday air it is our 6th too on Sunday as we up in Scotland anyway we off to stay where we got married for the night grin unfortunately I expect I'll still be bleeding so no naughtiness for dh!!

Gbt I will get a pg test today c what it says then maybe re call the drs.

AnAirOfHope Wed 15-May-13 10:06:48

We had to cancel our night Hope had a night terror and Air wet the bed.

Air didnt go to sleep till 10pm, Hope had night terror at 11pm, i got to sleep at 12, Air wet bed at 5am and dh got up striped bed and i had to make it and then dh got up for work at 6am and Hope wake for a feed at 7am and then Air got up at 8am and he wake Hope up at 8:30am sad

Its raining and we are all going to get wet on school run as rain cover is in car and dh has car. Yeasterday Air got put on time out at school for punching Stampyboy on arm.

Im so tired.

Figgy sorry for your lose and hope you have a good day on Saturday. Where in Scotland did you get married?

BeeMyBaby Wed 15-May-13 17:35:53

gary I think a Childs duvet is ok after 1 year old? I know dd1 had a small duvet of her own by this stage as she hated her grobags, although we didn't give her a pillow till she was past 2yo.

air our children must be plotting together, both mine are refusing bed before about 9.45 everynight, I think it must be the extra sunlight.

Its pouring with rain here too- im planning on taking the dds out when I get home from work and I'll be damned if this rain is going to stop be. I'm making them hardy! There was an amazing rainbow yesterday evening from it all too.

Faffin Wed 15-May-13 20:23:44

All packed and ready to go to Majorca tomorrow. Looking forward to some sunshine. Not looking forward to getting up at 3am. I think DS will be hard work on the flight and coach transfer - the boy is not a fan of sitting still!

I hope you all have a good week and that the weather perks up!

QueenofClean Wed 15-May-13 20:27:47

Faffin have a fab time. Although think we had all the sun last week as its raining there now apparently.

Had a low day today and exhaustion which made me feel giddy and nauseous - not a nice feeling!

Xiaoxiong Wed 15-May-13 20:38:11

aethel hope the showers are luffly!

oi glad to hear about the appointments for DH and with Relate. Fingers crossed for you that this is the way forward you're looking for.

mopsy we're having kicking and screaming buggy hate too - DS just wants to stand up on the seat looking up at me hmm

jiggle I'm a no-weather camper wink Maybe if we lived somewhere hot and dry, like southern California or something...but then there would be other nasty things like scorpions and black widow spiders, shudder.

gary we stopped using the grobag a few months ago when DS was standing up in his sleep and then falling over and waking himself up. Now he's back in sleepsuits (with a cotton vest underneath) and 2-3 layers of light cotton blankets. We usually do have to tuck him in again when we go to bed ourselves as he's thrashed around and kicked it all off, so we do dress him in warmish velour sleepsuits so he doesn't freeze.

air I really hope you get a break soon - you sound so exhausted in your posts sad

Had an appointment with the head consultant midwife at the hospital today to discuss ELCS vs VBAC. Unfortunately she didn't have my notes from last time, but she did agree that scheduling an ELCS around 39-40 weeks was a good idea, to avoid the huge explosion of weight that DS put on in the 2 weeks I went overdue and the resulting exhaustion (even my biggest maternity clothes stopped fitting after 41 weeks).

I showed her a picture on my phone of what I looked like at 41+5 and she was shocked and said looking at my frame a 4.4kg baby probably would have been too big for me to deliver, even if I had managed to progress and dilate fully. Also she thought I probably was exhausted by the huge extra weight by the time I did go into labour so I probably wasn't able to labour in the best possible way.

However, the good thing is that she wants DH to come back with me in 2 weeks when she does have my notes to do a full review of how it went last time - I don't remember much of the bad stuff, but poor old DH is still really upset when he thinks about a lot of it so I think going through the notes with her will help him get some closure and understand what happened.

Figgygal Wed 15-May-13 21:00:09

Bugger we had a 1.5hr bedtime tantrum he's finally down hmm worst bedtime ever!!

GaryBuseysTeeth Wed 15-May-13 21:07:16

Have a lovely time Faffin!!

Queen, how's the foot?

Sorry you had to cancel your night Air, hope you get a break soon.

Will try and find one of those popper duvet things this week then, blankets would just end up being tossed across the floor atm.....he likes to stand, defiant, pointing proudly at his nightlight/dummy he's managed to throw furthest from the cot!

Xiao, hope it does help DH (and you don't end up remembering traumatic stuff!), she sounds like a brill consultant to have!

I think I need to have a word with my midwife (next week, first apt since early feb!), as I'm quite nervous about something going wrong..but I don't want them to think I need counselling/medication & not support a homebirth, so I don't know how honest to be with her!

jigglebum Wed 15-May-13 21:28:14

Oh faffin - sounds lovely have a great time. It has got to be better weather than here surely! We have one holiday booked to see family in Denmark in July and were thinking of another week somewhere but neither DH or I are being proactive about it as we are not getting on well again and I find holidays with him and the kids such hard work - it is like taking 3 DCs away sometimes but without the ability to make decisions on your own, which you would have as the only adult!

air sorry about your pants night. DS sometimes gets night terrors but didnt start till after 3 years. He is not really awake when they occur and cannot remember them in the morning but can be quite scary for you as a parent.

xiao - your consultant sounds fab and a really good idea to take DH along with you next time

Re duvets - we still use a grobag on Freya and have just bought 2 bigger ones for summer. I think DS was using a childs duvet in the cot by now but he was, and still is, a deeper sleeper, whereas F thrashes around such a lot she would come out of it and get cold.

I just want summer to come now - so bored of rain and cold - we still have our heating on! (well on a thermostat so comes on when it needs to still) Camping this weekend is filling me with dread!

BJR Thu 16-May-13 08:11:14

Sorry to hear your news figgy, hope you're having a well needed break in Scotland.

With bedding DS has blankets in his cot but probably spends just as much time under a duvet as he is still in our bed most nights if he wakes in the early hours. His sleep is terrible and cosleeping is the only way I can cope with work the next day.

We seem to have had a bit of a language explosion here and in the space of a couple of weeks gone from saying a couple hundred for words to picking up new words fast. He seems to talk more at home than anywhere else though.

Things with DP are ticking along ok, I'm trying to be rational and when we have one bad day remembering it is only one day and the rest of the week is ok. He is doing so well at work he's had a couple of promotions and big pay rises in the last 2 years, last week he picked up a national award and has now been head hunted and offered another pay rise of more than my whole salary. I should be pleased but it's just adding to his feeling that his contribution to the family is financial and mine is to do everything else sad I'd rather have less money and feel as though we share the responsibility.

BJR Thu 16-May-13 08:12:56

hmm stupid tablet. couple hundred for words should have been a couple of words.

jigglebum Thu 16-May-13 09:41:07

bjr good to hear from you. The refrain I hear more than anything from my H when I complain about his lack of help is "well I do have to work". For him it seems to negate any other duty apart from about an hour a day with the kids when he mostly just plays with them (ie doesn't feed them, bath them etc) If he lived on his own he would have to do more - as he seems to think there is a washing, shopping, cleaning fairy in our house. It is pathetic I know but I just cant be bothered arguing about it anymore. He genuinely cannot see that a little more help/offer to help would go such a long way in making me feel more valued that our relationship would improve a lot - but apparently I just moan about it and am unreasonable. I know if I posted about him on AIBU I would be told to LTB!

AnAirOfHope Thu 16-May-13 10:25:11

BJR sorry if im over stepping here but could you pay for a cleaner/ out source the domestic aspect? This is what i do with my dh if he is unwilling to clean/cook/help i get him to pay someone else to do it - window cleaner, gardener, cleaner and take out smile

Im a control freak so im happy to make all desicusions regarding the children but dh has no input so can not critaise my choices/he gets no say.

Then i make sure that he knows what i expect of him such as be home for family dinner together, saturday family night, turn up at events like plays, competions and parents evening.

Its really hard for the first three years with a child and it does affect your relationship. Any cracks in your relationship just get highlighted so much when you introduce a child into the mix. Its hard to juggle every thing. For me the hardest part is i get touched so much in the day by the kids, bf hugs and play fighting, that my dh gets home im all touched out and i dont want him to hug, kiss me or have physical contact as im sooo touched out i just want to be on my own.

jigglebum Thu 16-May-13 10:34:41

DH wont pay for anything that he/I can do ourselves. He was brought up with very careful parents and we dont have a lot of spare cash. I am struggling to get the lawn cut as F only sleeps for a max of an hour a day so I was looking into seeing if I could get someone to do it - but DH vetoed it. I might just do it anyway - like I did with the window cleaner. I make most of the family decisions too, partly as I am a control freak too air! but partly as DH shows not a lot of interest but he still thinks he can criticise. He has not been to one of DS parents evenings and wouldnt think it important. He has very little idea what F and DS do in terms of clubs/activities/friends etc. He is very self centred. I agree a child shows up the cracks in a relationship and a second child even more.

AnAirOfHope Thu 16-May-13 10:35:01

I find i go thru cycles of wanting dh to leave and being ok to put up with him grin

AnAirOfHope Thu 16-May-13 10:52:28

I dont mind having dirty windows so no window cleaner, on Sundays i leave dh in livingroom with kids to mow the lawn, and on Saturday i have a lie in and give a things to do lost to dh to do over three days (if he doesnt do an item i leave it and put it back on list next saturday)

Im still training him to fill the dishwasher at night and i let Aaron help him hover, put the clothes away and tidy the toys.

Dh cooks, goes shopping, iron his work clothes and Airs school uniform, get Hopes cream from drs, writes cheques when i give him the invoices, helps save money and takes Air to school and picks him up on Mondays, Sits with Hope when i take air swimming, reads a book to the kids everynight, helps take air to toilet at night and will settle air if he waked at night and takes him down stairs if he is awake when he gets ready for work so i can stay asleep longer.

He is disabled so cant do somethings but he does do what he can.

I still feel the huge responsability for the children and think they are just my responsability as i do 98% of everything with them and dh cant look after them on his own so it is just me but it gets easier and dh is there for emotional support and a sounding board when i need it.

Sorry for the long ramble blush

EasilyBored Thu 16-May-13 11:08:06

Totally fell off the old thread, must.do.better

BJR sorry for husband woes, it's hard to get the power balance right when one is working and you have different expectations. Think you should go ahead and get someone to do the garden, too difficult to do during nap time.

Jiggle fingers crossed for camping, not my cup of tea in this weather!

Figgy am so sorry love, but I'm glad it means you feel better about the decision on when to have another. Also sorry about the bedtime tantrum, they certainly pick their moments!

Oi Glad your DH has got an appointment, and that you're communicating a bit better. Hope your trip is fun, though don't envy you having to go via Ryan Air. DH's bro is a pilot and says that Ryan Air is where pilots end up when no one else will employ them! Doesn't fill you with confidence does it?!

Xiao glad you had a good appointment, and maybe going through it with the midwife in a couple of weeks will help DH come to terms with it finally and make him a bit more confident about this time?

Faffin enjoy the sunshine! envy

Right, so. Me. We're pretty much just pottering along as usual. DS has also had a language explosion, though not in a 100% good way. DH and I have not been good about watching our language round the baby as Ds can now say, clear as a bell and nice and loud, 'Oh Fuck!' blush I am mortified. We're ignoring it and hoping he just forgets it if he never hears it again. But yeah, not our finest parenting moment. He's throwing some epic tantrums at the minute as well, and screaming fits over tiny things; it's so frustrating because DH gets really angry about it and shouts or strops himself and wont listen when I point out that that doesn't help at all and that DS is entitled to be upset by things and his feelings aren't any less valid just because he's a baby blah blah blah. Am sick of the sound of my own voice at the minute. I've bought many parenting books, so am hoping if I can convince him to read some, he'll stop being so frustrated and obnoxious. We've had a crap month of sleep as well, don't have a clue what's going on, but we're having night waking every couple of days and he now thinks 5am is get up time. I'm hoping it;s just a phase and we'll move past it soon. It's also been one of those months where we have just spunked money left right and centre. We're getting a new kitchen, and we have been talking about getting a swing for the garden and ended up getting This Beauty and then the car had it's service and MOt, and then a week later started making a hideous noise and some pump or other has died so that's being fixed at the minute. It's all technically within budget (DH is spread sheet obsessed) but yeah, no holiday for us this year!

OH OH OH, I'm also training madly to run the Manc 10k on the 26th, and have taken up netball. So my legs are hurty. Fingers crossed it will help reduce the serious amount of chubb I am carrying at the minute. I can't stop eating chocolate and crap at work!

BJR Thu 16-May-13 12:44:08

I always think the same jiggle, that most people would just say LTB if I tell them about DP!

I have thought about idea of cleaner etc air, DP has other ideas. he suggested I leave my job if he takes this new one ...

In honesty i wouldn't mind dropping to two and a half days a week but leaving DS in nursery for 3 days. That way I get half a day to do housework without DS in tow. No way I'm giving up my job though.

BeeMyBaby Thu 16-May-13 13:59:48

Easily I'm surprised you didn't go for this although highly overpriced as you could just use a cat litter tray with cat litter (DD2s preferred sand pit before the cat got put down last month).

I will refrain from joining in about complaining about DH as it would be very long... and I still hope that when I eventually move out from my parents, although I will have to do more work, it will be less stressful overall.

mopsytop Thu 16-May-13 14:28:51

Hello all. Sorry to hear about pesky husbands not pulling their weight.

I am in Cambridge. I just handed in the final hard bound copy of my thesis. I'm all totally done now! Only have to graduate. Woohoo! Thesis looks so good hard bound.

EasilyBored Thu 16-May-13 14:55:42

BeeMyBaby I did look at that actually! My lovely daddy is building him a wooden sandpit at the minute. We need one with a wooden lid though as FatCat would just crap in it otherwise.

jigglebum Thu 16-May-13 16:51:07

easily we have got the fort epic coming from there next week - thanks to my parents. It is a joint DS and Freya present. Rather too big for F at the moment but we wanted it to last and we have a set of 3 swings and a sand pit already. Not quite sure where we are going to put it though - our garden is quite large but an odd shape (hence the lawnmowing nightmare!)

Well done mopsy - must be a nice feeling and always good to visit Cambridge!

Am rather shattered atm as we've had a big committee meeting earlier in the week, and now two days of senior interviews = getting up and in to work early. Plus the minor issue of moving house stuff!

I also had the most monumentally bad night with DS on Tuesday- he woke at half 2, settled a bit with me, woke at half three as he'd filled his nappy, stayed awake til 5/5.30 crawling over my head in bed, then woke for the day at six confused
We didn't even have nights like that when he was a newborn! I thrust him at his father and got another hour in bed...
They're obviously psychically communicating figgy ...again...hmm

Easily, DS throws a wobbler when you try to help him with dinner, or take his spoon when he's finished, or take him out of the bath... Unless they're ultra-placid (like me as a baby apparently grin) I think it's par for the course!

Good to hear from you BJR; I definitely think keeping the job is a good idea, and going part time, always keep your options open.
And I'm really sorry to hear that about your DH jiggle; obviously you'd said it wasn't great, but I didn't realise he didn't take much interest in the kids/their activities/parents' evenings etc sad He'll wonder why in ten years time they don't want to spend any time with him.

Good luck for your appointment Xiao, and hope your DH takes it OK. We've just found out our family friends' birth story was a horror show..induction, two days of labour, couldn't find a heart beat and then a EMCS under GA... Baby a bit sluggish but everyone's alive at least, don't know much more.

Xiaoxiong Thu 16-May-13 20:57:36

I just ate too much three sisters stew for dinner, ooooooofff...but it was so tasty and all covered with cheese, mmm!

Northern you have just described our night with our DS on Tuesday, even to the timings! Although we did manage to get him to sleep from 5.30 to 7.30 so a little bit of a breather at the end. I wonder if there was a full moon on Tuesday or something...hope you can get some sleep now! DS went to sleep tonight an hour earlier than usual so I really hope this doesn't presage another early morning wakeup call.

Your friends' labour sounds v similar to mine (so I'm told), though luckily they monitored DS's heartbeat throughout so the moment it started crashing he was straight out by CS. I really hope she and the baby are ok.

DS still can't use a spoon or fork to feed himself - he can't keep it horizontal to get food into his mouth, or control it to pick food up. DH thinks I'm worrying about nothing - but he's so advanced with everything else it seems a bit odd that he can't do this...? Am I being total perfect first born about this? (serious question)

CheungFun Thu 16-May-13 21:16:32

Hi all,

Trying to catch up on the thread again!

Generally we are still using a grobag for DS, although he's in his warm pj's tonight and a cellular blanket.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow as I've barely seen DS today, I woke him up at 7am and gave him breakfast, got him washed, dressed and changed and he was out the door with DH by 7.35am. I had a driving lesson after work, so DS was asleep when I got home.

Driving lessons are going well overall I think, but I just need to practice practice and practice some more!

We have been looking at some 3 bedroom houses and we are in the process of putting in offers and having them rejected at the moment. Our first offer was £15k lower than the asking price (which has already been reduced by £15k anyway over the last year). I hope it all works out, but I'm trying not to think about it too much as there are so many things that could go wrong.

Northern hope you get a better nights sleep tonight!

Mopsy well done! Enjoy your graduation smile

Easily good luck on the training! Once you get into the routine I'm sure you won't ache so much!

Xiao your consultant sounds good. I think it must be quite shocking for the men/birth partners especially when things don't go to plan as they don't understand what's happening and they can't do anything to help.

Faffin have fun and enjoy your holidays envy think of us stuck in rainy England ;)

Sorry to hear about husbands being awkward/not pulling their weight/ being unsupportive etc. I think it's definitely harder to maintain a relationship with children as you've got different priorities and you're more tired etc.

I think DH and I are on the right track now, I do want us to make more effort to go on a date night once a month though!

Aethelfleda Thu 16-May-13 21:27:26

Good to hear from you <easily> and <BJR>. sorry to hear about general DH-related rubbishness. And well done to mopsy!

Quite normal at this age xiao, as long as they can get finger food down the hatch it doesn't matter. Try an extra large Mr Whippy for practice (and amusing photos for future embarassment)

Workmen have finished apart from the electician who has done a vanishing act and not plugged in the electric shower cable yet. We need to wait a few days for all the sealant to set properly and then ooh yes, piping hot showers will be mine! I plan to celebrate by painting the walls a cheery minty colour and putting up a new bathroom cabinet. Once I stop lazing on the sofa eating mini magnums, anyway which may take some time .

Tomorrow -ooh the excitement- DH and I are having a swap: he's doing the double school and DS wrangling while I go on an updating course (prior to plan to return to work in September). I'm sure he will be fine....<snigger>

SevenReasonsToSmile Fri 17-May-13 12:57:14

Sorry to hear of so many husband problems. We're in the early weeks exhaustion phase of constantly snapping at each other so I'll refrain from joining in. Doesn't help that DD1 always gets up at 5am, I'm a big jealous of those complaining about odd 5am wake-ups tbh!

aethel your electrician sounds like ours was, hope DH managed the school run ok.

oi I know its a pain that DHs appt is so far away but it should at least show how seriously he is prepared to take it. If all else fails travelling down the day before and a Travelodge (I know but they're cheap) may be the way to go, we've done it before when DS had a 9.30 appt at Great Ormond Street.

Today is DH firs day back at work. I've even managed to get the hoovering done and everything is going alarmingly well, something is bound to go wrong soon. He's on a split shift though and I'm not looking forward to doing bedtime myself.

AnAirOfHope Fri 17-May-13 13:37:15

Im having a bad day sad

I have a cold and sore throut
The guinepig has dead
Just got call from school as Air has pooed himself and inlaws have gone to pick him up sad

I just cant cope right now sad

Figgygal Fri 17-May-13 16:45:08

Air hope your day has improved?!?

Seven hope B is getting on well. We had a 5am wake up this morning and that was after he was. Still. Up at 9.30 last night. He cried until we got up with him and then fell asleep again at 7.45 so we all went back to. Bed until 9.15 of course that means he is now asleep and wont go to bed tonight. Gah!!!!

BJR Fri 17-May-13 18:58:38

oh air sad Hope your day got better after your last post.

Seven I am in awe that you managed to hoover whilst wrangling 3 small kids. I clearly need to work on this whole housework thing!

DS is completely obsessed with bananas at the moment. I have to hide them because if he can see them in the kitchen he won't eat anything else. Today in Tescos he yelled nana at every trolley that went past with some and even tried to lean over and take them from a lady who left her trolley next to himblush luckily she thought it was funny. Strange child grin

Oh how funny Xiao, the midgets are obviously plotting against us! I got a better night's sleep, as DP was in with DS again (if one of us has something really important the following day- a big drive or an important meeting- the other goes in with DS and turns the monitor off) but DS woke at 5, so DP thrust him at me at 6! Fair enough...

Sounds like you're in the same place as us Cheung... sort of exciting/grim isn't it? Keep us updated on how it all goes for you.

Hope you have a lovely time aethel, first with the Magnums, then with the swap, and finally with the hot showers- sounds awesome!

Hope things have gotten a bit better air, and the DCs aren't too upset about the Guinea Pig... sad

Off to my Dad's tomorrow, have commissioned my DStepM to make a cake for DP's birthday smile

Aethelfleda Fri 17-May-13 22:12:58

((((((hug))))) air, hope the day got a bit better. Being tired/down always makes things seem more draining too.

Thanks northern. I can confirm that both Creme brulee and summer fruit mini magnums are yummy. And the electrician says he may be able to do his stuff next week (tho I'm meant to be seeing a friend so am hoping he can work around that a little as I don't want to inconvenience her)
The feed shower just needs a day more for the silicone to dry....
The school run worked and I have some respect for the amount I do at home now he's had to do it instead for a day. Result smile

BJR that is spooky about the bananas. dS has been EXACTLY the same. (he says nananananana and gets through at least one a day, we have to hide them too!!.) The thread babies are conspiring again....

<brews up some decaf in the hope we all get some beauty sleep tonight>

Xiaoxiong Fri 17-May-13 22:36:18

And over here DS is also all about the bananas and we are also hiding them under everything else in the fruit basket!!! We're not paranoid, it really is a conspiracy of nippers...

air hope you are feeling better and can get an early night - tomorrow is another day ((hugs))

I've just had a big cooking and ebay evening as DH is out at a sports soc dinner. Have made: a loaf of bread, marinaded chicken for dinner tomorrow, 10 salmon fishcakes for the freezer for DS, and 25 cheese and black pepper buttons to have with a tiny glass of wine tomorrow night, though if I don't stop eating them there will be none left, they are so good!!

On ebay have bought: 7 short sleeve 18-24month vests, 1 blue jumper from next, 1 grey fleecy hoodie with skulls, both size 2-3 years. I'm trying not to hover over an auction closing in 20 mins for a Frugi hoodie with a walrus on the front. I have decided how much I am willing to pay and bid my maximum and that's IT, no caving in!

And why will I need wine...because FIL is coming tomorrow for dinner angry I am going to be icily polite and distant and every time he addresses me I will look at him expectantly, as in "Is this an apology...? No? Ok I will ignore you again, you sad twerp."

Figgygal Fri 17-May-13 22:47:37

Danny doesn't get bananas they bung him up chronic he loves blueberries, strawberries and mango (also known as all the expensive fruits). We've tried to drop the formula again for his bedtime bottle over last few days and he's constipated again he's alright with 1 bottle and milk in cereal, yogurts etc but no ff at all he can't seemingly digest. Not sure what to do other than keep up the ff but can't do that forever any ideas??

QueenofClean Fri 17-May-13 23:51:20

Just got home after seeing Leona Lewis at Bournemouth BIC...excellent set. Now time for sleep.

Xiaoxiong Sat 18-May-13 11:58:38

Arrrrrgh just ran into FIL in town (wasn't supposed to have to see him until evening). Massively awkward - it's clear he thinks it's all just happy families and forgive and forget. Well news flash - forgiveness usually happens after an apology is made by the person who caused the problem in the first place. Grrr angry I was polite but off hand with him and then left abruptly. Now just need to count the hours until he fucks off again and can pat himself on the back and tell himself he extended an olive branch and it's not his fault if I can't move on (which of course doesn't include any acknowledgement of or apology for his poison pen emails, texts etc) angry

mopsytop Sat 18-May-13 14:02:05

Oh dear xiao. I feel very annoyed on your behalf sad

janey223 Sat 18-May-13 22:10:26

Figgy can you gradually increase milk to formula ratio?

Monkey refused to go back into grobag after the really hot nappy sleeping weather last year, he didn't get that I'd just bought two gorgeous new ones. He sleeps under his duvet, it doesn't stay on for long, then comes under mine which doesn't stay on long either. Winter he wore 2-3 pairs of pjs/sleepsuits.

Monkey obsessed with bananas too, shouts 'bana' as soon as he sees them and will scream my express down until he has it in his hand, he waits and pays for it until demanding to eat it.

What's window cleaning? shock

janey223 Sat 18-May-13 22:11:30

Xiao it'll probably never happen, just seethe and draw him dirty looks forever!

Aethelfleda Sun 19-May-13 16:48:50

<loads up the haddock-launcher for xiao>

Rare night out with DH for his birthday: star trek film followed by dinner. Yum.

And now we return to the usual DIY-obsessed programming...

mopsytop Sun 19-May-13 21:32:51

Hope dinner with FIL went OK xiao!

I've an interview tomorrow. Dreading it. Nerve-tastic sad sad

Aethelfleda Sun 19-May-13 22:27:15

Good luck mopsy, you'll be fab!

QueenofClean Mon 20-May-13 09:12:39

Good luck Mopsy.

Xiao - hope your weekend got better?!

We had a good weekend and back to work today....busy busy busy.

Xiaoxiong Mon 20-May-13 12:29:12

Good luck mopsy!!

Well I made a pretty fabulous dinner if I do say so myself, with no strychnine in FIL's portion, and then I sat there in near silence the whole night (this is highly unusual if you've ever met me...) I replied "oh, fine" to pretty much every question. Finally he just talked to DH which was fine with me.

DS didn't know him and wouldn't go to him or be held by him at all but when DH and I were around DS was fabulous, chatty, laughing and showing off, showing how we raised a fabulous child and we do just fine without FIL's gracious presence in our lives.

When he finally left he said "good luck with everything in October" so I guess that means no more visits till then - result! Now I'm just worrying that in a week's time DH will receive 10 pages of handwritten emotional abuse/blackmail about how he "clearly wasn't welcome" and how he "is sorry if Xiao is still upset and cannot move on".

He did buy DS a really beautiful glossy adult reference book for which we will thank him, of course - 430 pages about birds, and it plays bird calls - it will be nice for him to look at in about 10 years.

But then we watched Eurovision and ate chocolate in bed, and DS slept till 8am(!!!) on Sunday morning, then met friends in London for lunch and played in Kensington Gardens - so the rest of the weekend was amazing grin

Figgygal Mon 20-May-13 12:49:54

Morning all

Having a lovely time in Scotland weather very mixed but met up with all my friends seen family dh and getting along (ish) and the MC has stopped with pg test showing not pg anymore.

Dh and i had a nice night in hotel lat night got back this morning and ds has the pox he had 2 spots yesterday on his face but we thought they were just spots took. Him to a. Peppa pig Party with hundreds of. Children blush and today he is covered in them. Thinking back he did have a temp friday and was off food a bit .......woops. Supposed to fly back Wednesday so thats not happening dh is. Going to have to go without me and get back to work, im going to have to go shopping for more clothes and stay until the airline willl accept him.....they have said all the spots need to have scabbed that could be days!!!! Any ideas how. Long it takes? My mum's DR are going to see him today at 3pm to do a letter. For our travel insurance but this is the worst timing ever hmm i feel awful for saying it but thank. God im not pg so looks like will be stuck in the house for the. Next few days. We were going to take him to a New softplay tomorrow and im supposed to. Be going to see. Star trek tonight hmm not sure that will be happening!

GaryBuseysTeeth Mon 20-May-13 13:07:20

Figgy, 'glad' it's all over for you & hope you're feeling ok about it all?

Sorry to hear DS has the pox (and you're stuck!), no idea how long it takes but really hope you're all home soon.....pretty elaborate scheme just to get some new clothes, I like it wink

Xiao, glad the rest of the weekend made up for having to deal with FIL.
Congratulations on the restraint you showed in not poisoning him, how fab that you cooked an awesome meal too!

Good luck mopsy!!

Have bought an Ergo baby carrier, new off ebay, hope it arrives as it was a bargain!
Finally starting to prepare for possibly having a new baby, although mc due date is coming up in a few weeks & I'm feeling really emotional about it already (not sure if it's pg hormones or actual upset!!)

Aethelfleda Mon 20-May-13 15:19:27

Day 7 is when you can go out again figgy (contagious for 72 hrs before spots to day 7 of them being visible.)

<reloads the haddock launcher, I'm sure someone will need it>

Figgygal Mon 20-May-13 18:57:07

Am I literally housebound for the next week?? God this is rubbish!!

mopsytop Mon 20-May-13 19:24:55

Figgy Minimopsy has the pox too. Sent home from nursery while I was at interview so Mr.Mopsy had to take afternoon off and is now downstairs working to make up hours.

Xiao well done on your restraint with the arsenic in FIL's food wink

I had killer headache all day which made presenting and interview very hard work but I have just unofficially had call to say I got job. Only two year fixed-term post but in this market that is pretty good really. Rotten hour long commute but given the market I'll just have to suck it up! Seems like a lovely, friendly department with lovely head of department.

Brief dash in to say....


Aethelfleda Mon 20-May-13 20:22:41

Wow, well done Mopsy!!! <flahrs and wine>

figgy, the pox is annoying, you do have to stay away from company, there are ways to make it less dire (I have done this three times, can you tell?!)
The trouble is, even jollying along to sainsbury's can expose someone (eg a pregnant mum in the queue, a newborn or mum who's just had chemo recently and is still immunosuppressed) and you just don't know who's out there, so crowded places are def best avoided.
Things to stop yourself going crazy:
1) put DS in the buggy and walk each day. If you're taking a quiet route then you should be alright. If you need to go into the shops put on the raincover! (looks crazy but it's short term effective)
2) do an internet supermarket shop with some treats to make up for the isolation. Tell any friends locally he has the pox and set up some dates with immune friends (some will come over deliberately as they want to expose their DCs but that's up to them!)
3) on day 5/6 a little trip to a non packed playpark,
4) when he's less clingy see if you can get a babysit from your parents sp you get some human contact
5) good luck! Paracetamol syrup is your friend (avoid ibuprofen for once as it's not recommended in chickypox.)

mopsytop Mon 20-May-13 20:26:39

Thanks for tips aethel. Didn't know about IBU so that's v useful. Shops a no no then. Boo. Need some bits tomo... And no playground! It is going to be a looonng week! Spots first appeared today so can I take her out normally again next Monday?

Aethelfleda Mon 20-May-13 20:51:28

Yep, that's the idea figgy, seven days then you're ok next Monday. Ghe Americans vaccinate against chickenpox!

And we're day seven into DS's MMR jab, so I have had a clingy DS today. He had a super long nap, and got a bit warm, so is in bed with ibuprofen and light bedding. It's in a good cause....

I'm in mega kit making as am going to a re-enactment show at the weekend (yay!) and the DDs need new kit a

Aethelfleda Mon 20-May-13 20:51:55


Figgygal Mon 20-May-13 21:40:59

Thanks aethel great tips!!

My mum wants to go shopping and out for dinner tomorrow will have to put foot down and say no!! You woyld think she would know better. He has to go back to dr tomorrow as they weren't 100% sure today it was the pox thought it could be because it was just so early so they want to see the difference after 24hrs, it could be a virus or it could be both blushWhen was there today they ran 30 minutes late by the time we got in he probably infected half the place angry

Star trek went out the window tonight as DS refused to go bed dh was wrangling with him screaming kicking and punching for 20 minutes refusing to give in he was such a blotchy screaming mess I had to take him away, he didn't see anything wrong with persevering and I knew if I left he'd do it again so ended up staying in. I've had it twice so can't catch but could I carry it and give to others ??

Sorry to hear about mini mopsy but YEAH on the job!!

Another week at my parents surrounded by Madeira cakes and Scottish delicacies such as tablet, macaroni pies, empire biscuits and butteries I will be huge!! My jeans r tight already blush

Aethelfleda Mon 20-May-13 22:03:09

Figgy, it may just be a generational thing, our mums/dads and grandads childhood communities just all got measles/scarletina/rubella and got on with it, so chickenpox is kind of in the same boat (unfortunately they also then had polio kids with callipers, and deaf kids post measles. Thank heavens for immunizations.)

If you've had chickenpox twice it's cos you didn't develop immunity the first time: a very small number of people don't ever make antibodies so you may get it again!!! Prob you won't though. Don't worry, there is no carrier state for chickypox, if you do get it, you will know about it (and if you do, ring up your mum's GP pronto cos grownups with chickenpox need aciclovir tablets, it's a more severe infection in adulthood)

<puts the teapot on to brew>

janey223 Tue 21-May-13 00:49:47

Congrats mopsy!!

Figgy I'm immune so ill have a glass bottle of bru, some well fired rolls on square sausage and as much tablet as you can find pronto!

Monkey has a poorly tummy, change of ingredients to contain soy arg! But he's not too bad.

I had my MMR today shock

mopsytop Tue 21-May-13 07:56:30

aethel would you even say avoid walking her by the local shops? only going for walks where there are few people?

QueenofClean Tue 21-May-13 08:00:24

Congrats Mopsy smile

Hope MiniM & FiggyBoy don't send you both round the twist!

SevenReasonsToSmile Tue 21-May-13 09:13:03

Sorry to hear about the pox.

mopsy congrats on the job, great news!

xiao sounds like it went as expected with FIL, at least the rest of the weekend made up for it.

gary its fine to be upset around the time of your due date, I wasn't overly upset when mine came around but think I definitely would have been if I hadn't been pregnant again.

DD2 has a very gunky eye, anything I can do other than bathing it?

Figgygal Tue 21-May-13 09:20:33

Gah ds up at 5.00 which commenced an hour long tv related tantrum waking up the whole household in the process, dh refused to accept that today when we are in someone elses house and he is ill is not the day to teach him he doesnt get tv whenever he wants. Ds not really eating except or drinking except the odd biscuit or dry toast but spots not worse than they were yesterday that i can tell. There are only 3-4. Big spots and then lots of rash......all very confusing!!!

Xiaoxiong Tue 21-May-13 14:16:25

Just a quick one - 20 week scan this morning, very long legs and arms and the sonographer said it looks to be a big baby again. So definitely an ELCS then. And it's another boy!! smile (Would have been smile for either but a boy is a known quantity and can also go to school here if DH is still teaching here in 13 years).

Figgygal Tue 21-May-13 14:49:30

Aw congrats on another boy xiao!!

GaryBuseysTeeth Tue 21-May-13 15:30:51

Xiao! Congrats on the boy! Although how you're far enough along for a 20wk scan?! shock

Congrats on the job mopsy!

Figgy, hope DH has backed down on the tv rule...we have bad days here where it's on in the background for most of the day.
Hope you don't get cabin fever.

<waves> at everyone & <brews up coffee pot>

Xiaoxiong Tue 21-May-13 20:39:22

Thanks all grin Pretty excited to be honest. Now just need to get DS to say "brother" instead of "sister" - I think he's been reading too much Peepo with the two sisters in it!! We have a name or two up our sleeves too but sadly won't ever get to use Morwenna, Karenza or Olwen now which were our top picks for a girl.

Yes gary, read it and weep, I'm 20+1 today! Time flies huh?? EDD Oct 7th but could be a little earlier depending on when they can fit in the ELCS (anytime between 39 and 40 weeks they said).

OK a question for you clever clogses: is there any way in the world that I can get DS to let me brush his teeth without him first sucking all the toothpaste off the brush, and then clamping his jaws over the toothbrush and screaming bloody murder when I try to move it around in his mouth?

mopsy massive congratulations on the job!! I knew something that worked for you would come up when you turned down the other one that was a flight away. The commute's a bugger but TBH the one thing I do miss about my 90 min commute was the hour sitting on the train with a coffee and a book where I could just relaaaaax. Hope minimopsy gets well soon!

seven any breastmilk squirtage into the eye possible? I did that with DS the other day and it still seemed to work even though he's not tiny anymore.

janey hope you feel ok after your MMR, did you not have it done when you were little?

figgy hope DS is feeling better and your DH realised he was on a hiding to nothing trying to introduce a new rule when DS is sick, away from home and out of routine.

aethel hope DS is feeling better - reenactment sounds awesome, Saxons? I'd quite fancy a bit of Norman jousting and meleeing but if you have to make the kit yourself, I think armour might be a bit beyond my current making skills. I'm sure it's considered cheating to buy chainmail on ebay and pass it off as your own.

mopsytop Tue 21-May-13 21:03:13

Thanks all. Am obvs v pleased to have a job but I am already beginning to seriously worry about leaving Minimopsy five days a week at nursery sad Will she be okay? Dreading it. But part time not an option and it is not like there are many academic jobs at all. You're lucky to get anything. So either I throw up my career or suck it up. And it is a fixed term post. Two years. Awful timing because I wanted to start trying for baby number 2 next month! Only could have done that with a postdoc but can't really with this kind of post. So it is a very double-edged sword and I am feeling a bit flat and worried rather than happy and relieved. Gah.

Congrats on another boy xiao!

Hope you're doing OK with Danny and the pox figgy! Minim is mega clingy and getting upset very easily and won't eat much but is at least drinking milk phew! More spots appeared today on back, tummy, head, behind ears and her poor little bot bot sad

janey223 Tue 21-May-13 21:07:20

Congrats xiao!!

Feeling fine, I did have it as a baby but apparently 1 jab is only 90% and that's why they introduced a booster. Hopefully this one will take, booster next month. When I went to Scotland to have DM they told me I was immune (despite what my hospital had said) and I didn't need the MMR, the outbreak made me question that and I'm not (was not).

I'm covered head to toe in hives, it broke out on Sunday evening, very odd.

Monkey currently obsessed with the fountain/wet sand at the park and had to go home half naked with his nappy half on (I broke it)! And he keeps nicking people's balls, the dads are always impressed with his footy skills though!

Evenin' all <doffs cap>

Xiao, so pleased to hear that the FiL experience wasn't too bad and congratulations on your little boy! Glad to hear you've settled on the ELCS, so that you know what'll happen and when, and that you can be 99.9% sure you won't have to go through all that again. When's the appointment to discuss all of that- I know you said your DH was not looking forward to re-living it all?

aethel, you and your DH stole my DP's birthday! We've just had his and if we could've squeezed in a babysitter we would've done Star Trek; as it was I cooked a posh meal and then fell asleep in front of the TV (oh the glamour...)

And how grim for you figgy and mopsy, and for the DCs... how are they doing, are they coping OK? I remember being coated in camomile lotion and being miserable.... sad

We viewed houses today, six of them... and came away with a renewed sense of love for our home. Considering they were around 50% more expensive than ours and in a better place, we didn't fancy any of them- which isn't how it's meant to go. On the plus side, we have our first viewing on Friday and we've not even officially gone on the market yet!

That doesn't sound fun/right Janey, is it worth contacting NHS direct to check it out?

And MiniM will be fine Mopsy, and you can start trying for no.2 in about 14 months to tie in with when you finish....

mopsytop Tue 21-May-13 21:24:08

That's my main problem Northern ... really don't want to wait to gave baby 2 until minim is 3.5. But I am guessing I just have to if I want to have a career.. sad sad hey ho you can't have everything.

Xiaoxiong Tue 21-May-13 21:34:09

mopsy MiniM will be fine. To be honest I kind of wish DS was going to nursery in September instead of 2014 - we went to put his name down at the preschool next door and he was having such a fab time he didn't want to leave and screamed the place down!!

northern well remembered - the appointment is on Wednesday and DH is coming so full reliving of the gory details will be had by all. Luckily MIL will be with us to sit in the waiting room to distract DS while we are in there, and we drive straight to Gatwick after and fly to the Costa del Sol for four days so that should give us time to recover from any bad memories.

According to my dad, my mother is coming to visit tomorrow hmm I knew she was in the country but she hasn't been in touch except to send me a job ad she saw in the Guardian <double hmm> Thank goodness I have a MIL who is so over the moon about another boy and says she is getting knitting already so DS2 has as many nice Nana knits as DS has.

Arrgh I'll have to start saying DS1!!!

OctopusWrangler Tue 21-May-13 21:42:51

Thing 1 and Thing 2 wink

Sorry am a bit quiet. Trying times chez Octopus. Have been reading though.

Aethelfleda Tue 21-May-13 22:01:40

<grabs a coffee and flings a bacon butty at Octopus>

Evening all. Am buried under a pile of kit making: have sewn DD1 a new underdress and just re-doing my old cloak to fit her. Then have to try to make some quick shoes for DD2 who has good thick socks but totally outgrown her turnshoes. Sigh. Shoes are a pain to get the fit right and they HAVE to be waterproof to prevent grumpiness.

Congrats xiao on another DS, and janey, take some piriton!!!

Aethelfleda Tue 21-May-13 22:03:49

(or antihistamine of your choice/what you have available. I do not have shares in piriton!) --i keep a bottle of piriton syrup in my med cabinet though, it's v useful for itchy rashes/unexpected reactions and the adult dose is 4mg which is 10ml syrup so not too sickly)

OctopusWrangler Tue 21-May-13 22:05:12

Are you back to the funstuffs this summer then Aethel?

OctopusWrangler Tue 21-May-13 22:06:40

Squidge had piriton last night. Random apres-swim rash. Marvellous stuff.

Aethelfleda Tue 21-May-13 22:49:45

Yep, first planned show for aaaages at Old Sarum this weekend. V excited though cheating as spending overnight at relatives'.
Will be great to see our re-enactment mates: I've been doing this for half my life <old>

OctopusWrangler Tue 21-May-13 23:06:59

I'd say rule bending rather than outright cheating theregrin

Right. Bed, as I suspect he'll wake up at one.

janey223 Tue 21-May-13 23:48:40

Got monkey's piriton but there's not much left so I daren't risk using it must get it on prescription

Had an antihistamine this morning but itching now sad ill try and get an appointment in the morning as it doesn't seen to be getting any better. I was getting them anywhere exposed to the sun when it was nice but they went away soon after being indoors, this is awful! I swear monkey is passing me allergies.

On a nicer note I got a new maxi and some bits from him in the sale from h&m, he got trousers, shorts, 3 tops and a penguin sleepsuit for £21, bargain!

BJR Wed 22-May-13 06:08:37

congrats on boy number 2 xiao! glad your having a chance to go through old notes and hopefully it will be helpful for your DH. Your birth sounds very similar to mine and my DP is also still a bit traumatised by it, I have the luxury of not remembering much.

and congrats on the job mopsy!

DS had a lovely 5am meltdown because he wanted me to read books. He is now wandering round with my mobile saying ello, yep, bye into it over and over. I am hugging my cup of tea and trying to convince myself I'm not tired!

Figgygal Wed 22-May-13 06:33:16

Write an epic thread last night about DS still bring up at 10.30 and needing a drive in car to put him down he's now been up since 6 again he's lost 3-4 hrs of usual sleep. I hate it when he doesn't sleep it's maddening I wonder if it's the pox or the different bed or that it's lighter than home in this room.......all/non of the above grr. He's such a routine boy at home bed by 7.30 every night hate this!!!

Dh hurt his back has got worse since been here he slept to 11 yesterday was back in bed by 7 he's going home today hopefully will manage to get home from airport.

Danny's arm legs bum covered in the little red rash spots only got 3-4 big spots all of which popped now I still can't take him home can I? God I wish I was the irresponsible type and could just get him on that plane home hmm

Aethelfleda Wed 22-May-13 20:43:16

Hope you're surviving figgy....
<passes round extra large mugs of tea>
<goes back to hemming furiously>

OctopusWrangler Wed 22-May-13 21:20:25

Today I have socialised, shopped, had coffee with Octoboy's dad (progress!) and made a million and twelve baked things for a fundraiser. I may need a coffee.

Happy sewing Aethel

SevenReasonsToSmile Thu 23-May-13 00:06:04

Hope the sewing is nearly done aethel.

octo glad you're making progress, hope things are ok there.

xiao congrats on another boy.

Well after the argument with MIL last week over her always prioritising BIL over everyone else things have taken a dramatic turn for the worse. A bit of history that around 10 years ago (pre me and DH)he was arrested for downloading child pornography, said he was drunk, it was accidental etc, everyone believed it was a mistake and nothing more was said or thought about it. That is until this morning when we had a phone call out of the blue from social services asking questions about how much access he has to our children. Practically none, thank goodness, as it turns out he's been at it again, again apparantly being drunk and it being unintentional. I'm not convinced tbh, and absolutely furious that MIL knew and we weren't told when the police are obviously concerned enough for SS to get involved angry. Best thing is she's coming round tomorrow so we all get to play happy families and pretend nothing is wrong while she defends his innocence.

janey223 Thu 23-May-13 00:39:33

Sorry you're going though that seven. It's not exactly something you can just come across e

janey223 Thu 23-May-13 00:42:15


QueenofClean Thu 23-May-13 04:58:40

Octo - Progress...that's good right?

Seven shock hope you survive the day without some epic fall out argument.

Why are men selfish arseholes at night? Sky been awake since 3:30. I didn't hear her at first but DH did..now rather take her back to bed and try and get her settled he brought her into us as 'he didn't want to pace the floor at 3am' angry as a mother I do and I'm also considerate that he needs sleep as he works hard..clearly he doesn't respect me that much for his respect to over-ride his wants sad I've just put her back to bed and DH is snoring and DD2 has gone back to sleep. He didn't even try to put her back.

Rant over

mopsytop Thu 23-May-13 08:26:09

aethel quick question... when do sots start calming down. awe are on day 4 now. Minimopsy was miserable all night, clearly very itchy. Still miserable this morning. Mr.Mopsy and I were supposed to be going to London for the day on Sunday then staying overnight in a swanky hotel and MIL was to mind minim. Normally would they have improved a lot by day 7? Need to cancel hotel today if don't want to pay for it but not sure what to do. If she was like last night MIL will be too exhausted and anyway minim will want me or Mr.Mopsy. Poor wee baba. So if you have general advice on when they stop itching so much/cheer up it would be great unless it is a case of every baba different.

Figgy how are you guys getting on?

Oi where are you!?

<waves> to everyone else.

Need that vat of coffee today and would murder a Danish. Hardly any food as don't want to go to shops with my infectious child! Lunch yesterday was sugar snap peas and red/yellow pepper. I think today will be reduced to cabbage and carrot. ooh coleslaw maybe. Don't want to do shop online as away for five days from Friday at MIL's. Very good leftover usage.

mopsytop Thu 23-May-13 08:28:17

when do spots start calming down, we are on day 4 I meant!

Figgygal Thu 23-May-13 08:47:02

Mopsy sounds like mini m much worse than DS he has not had another spot since Monday the 3 big ones crusted over days ago he has 2 little ones 1 on his finger and one on his foot that havent popped yet and that's it. His legs are still covered in the rash but he is not scratching them or itchy seemingly it looks like he has a very mild dose which means he will probably get it again. His appetite is back and you wouldn't know there is anything wrong with him except for the massive crater on his face from spot 1 which got infected for which we now have antibiotics from the nurse at my parents surgery.

Have decided though that I'm going to head home today my brother is going to drive us and he drives like a mad thing so it shouldn't take too long I.e 7/8 hours not 10!! I would quite happily stay here for a bit longer and claim on insurance but he is not sleeping not going to bed until after 10 and getting up between five and six and it is hard going think he would be better at home in his own surroundings. Dh stayed too to come back down in car wish we had just got on plane but couldn't do it!! See u again in about 500 miles grin

janey223 Thu 23-May-13 09:22:50

I got a lie in today 8.50!!

mopsytop Thu 23-May-13 09:44:58

Yeah she is covered on tummy/chest, back, face, head, neck and genitals. also it is very red around each spot. Is that normal or sign of infection? Just gave her a bath with half a cup of bicarb in which she liked so will repeat later.

Hi everyone. Am on phone having a rest mid delivery. So sorry not to name check.

Hope the mamouth drive goes ok, my sympathies to those with the pox. A friends little girl had a horrible time with chicken pox as they didn't realise for a few days that she was also alergic to cammomile!angry

30 weeks today. Today us definitely the day I admit I can't manage the full delivery round anymore. exhauusted.com wink

mopsytop Thu 23-May-13 12:44:25

OMG Katt for a minute there I thought you meant mid delivery of BABY and was wondering how you CD be so relaxed especially only being 30 weeks. I am a Wally!

GaryBuseysTeeth Thu 23-May-13 14:25:11

Figgy, glad to hear you're getting home today! Hope DS is happy enough when you get there.

Mopsy, hope DD enjoys her bath, and gets better asap...no idea if that's normal for the pox sorry.

kat, cannot believe you're still doing full rounds! I'm shattered by 10 every night just running around after my cybermidget

Xiao, DS used to be really 'mine' with the toothbrush, gave him a week or so of him holding it & copying me (singing this is the way we brush our teeth) now he lets me control it again...and just showing him toothbrush has him running to bathroom awaiting toothpaste grin <-- sorta what he looks like, toothy boy!

<coffee> for Octo and everyone who needs it.
Hope you managed to get some sleep Queen?

Seven, how awful! And MIL defending him?! Good luck with dealing with her tomorrow.

Stunned about what happened yesterday in Woolwich, that poor man.

Aethelfleda Thu 23-May-13 16:04:24

shock wow,*seven*, that's worrying as hell. Good job you are now aware, though. I suppose MIL is in denial about the implications of it all...
Very tricky for you though, at least there is relief that your children have not been at risk.

Sorry for radio silence mopsy! yes it's normal for spots to have a big red ring around them, and normal for the centre of the blister to go green-yellow. If the redness enlarges a lot on one or multiple spots get them checked but usually unless the child has eczema it will all settle. Spots come in crops and usually the last new ones are 5-6 days in.

Well done for the escape plan figgy and hope the drive goes well! A friend of mine once got stuck in Menorca for a week with their poxy child: no beach, no pool, quarantined in hotel room til well enough to travel....

oh and Mopsy, seriously, if you're out of food zip on the buggy raincover and do a quick shopping dash, as long as you are quick and keep the cover on in a small place (ie quick in and out trip only) you should be able to get some decent supplies....day 4 is still contagious but less so than the day before the spots came...Roll on day 7!!!!

<prepares extra large vat of Kwaffee and hands around the Dec '11 pint mugs>

Aethelfleda Thu 23-May-13 16:05:39

Ps kat, 30 weeks already? Wow! Don't overdo it, missus...

<is not broody. No siree. we're done.>

mopsytop Thu 23-May-13 16:39:29

Oh seven I only just read the thread properly. That is awful. You poor thing. Hard to deal with that.

Faffin Thu 23-May-13 20:38:58

<waves> we're back from Majorca. The weather wasn't great but we all had a lovely time despite that.

My phone didn't work whilst out there so I now have a LOT of catching up to do <trundles off to read several pages of the thread>

<snorts at thought of calmly posting about chicken pox during labour>

seven how horrible. No advice, no experience, just hope you can keep calm if your MIL does try to defend him.

Xiao this is a bit late, but how the hell are you far enough along to be having a 20 weeks scan? You only POAS last week! wink

Aethel I'm very jealous of your sewing skills. I WILL unpack the sewing machine and learn how to use it...

Another one getting a bot worried about the silence from Oi - hope everything is OK and you're just busy.

So, got back to the office to tell line manager that I'd need some help from now on, and he suggested taking it more slowly. Hmmmm, the issue is that I'm walking from 09.30 - 14.00 currently. Walking more slowly will mean being on my feet longer, no?

He clearly realised he was being a dick, as he found me about 5 mins later and told me to ignore his earlier comments and they'd get someone to do part of my round from tomorrow.

I'm not stupid, I've had management positions before, I understand about resourcing and I know they are short staffed. But seriously. 30 weeks pregnant and you're counting me a part of your resource rather than a handy extra?

In other news, we might have finally got DS into his own bed. He still falls asleep in DH, but has mostly been in his cot from 8.30-6.30 for about a week now. Obviously I've just jinxed this, so off to get some sleep

Aethelfleda Fri 24-May-13 14:36:49

Aargh, yesterday night dissolved into puke central (DS), he's stopped now but I ended up sleeping in his room on the airbed, and am feeling grotty, tired and hoping like hell he's well enough for us to go to the show this weekend.

Hope you're all OK out there...

<charges the coffee pump>

mopsytop Fri 24-May-13 16:46:34

Oh dear aethel. Hope you get to go to your day out.

Any word from Oi?

SevenReasonsToSmile Fri 24-May-13 18:12:53

Thanks all. MIL defending him as we knew she would, turns out she didnt tell us because she was naive enough to think SS wouldn't need to get involved as she told the police herself he's not a risk to them hmm. Anyway she's been told he's not welcome in our house, nor will the DCs go to hers when he's there. Horrible situation though, we don't want to cause trouble and of course want to believe he's innocent but the consequences of getting it wrong are too great for the sake of sparing the feelings of a family member we're not that close too anyway.

aethel hope the sickness has passed and its just a one off!

figgy hope you got home ok.

faffin glad you had a good time on holiday smile

kat DH bought me a sewing machine the Christmas before last, I've used it once and that was to mend something rather than because I wanted to use it. I love the idea of making gorgeous things (I want to make the DCs each a quilt, we have a huge one my grandma made) but don't have the time to learn, maybe one day.

QueenofClean Fri 24-May-13 19:19:54


Aethel hope DS recovers quickly and you can go to your show.

Proud of Darcie for achieving a 2b in Maths (where she should be) & 3a in reading which is where she should be by the end of YR4 and she's only just started summer term of YR3!

Sky being a cheeky monkey as always and vocabulary getting better everyday.

I've been struggling with my back and hips this week...so much so I had a steroid injection into my right hip today..the greater trochanter. Ouch. Exasperated by joint hypermobility which makes the ball of the joint move alot more freely which makes it feel like its going to pop out sad

Darcie is over my mums for night so peaceful night here.

Figgygal Fri 24-May-13 21:13:03

Ladies is there such a thing as a 17mo sleep regression? He's horrible it's taking 30+ minutes to get him to sleep if he even goes tonight we had epic tantrums in the end we left him to it and he cried into his pillow until he passed out (only took 5 mins but felt awful).

QueenofClean Fri 24-May-13 21:41:14

Figgy not that I'm aware of but feel for you. Sky went down pretty well tonight but normally takes a good 20 mins to get down x

BJR Sat 25-May-13 05:46:56

Any tips on how to get DS to take horrid tasting medicine? He's got to have it 4 times a day an hour before food for the next week. Just had to wrestle it into him and now he wants milk. Not sure he's going to like the wait an hour part!

Figgygal Sat 25-May-13 08:16:43

Bjr we having same problem here he has antibiotics for a nasty spot on his chin and it is one of the most vile things I've ever tasted!! He usually loves medicine but after lots of crying and spitting all over his clothes we have resorted to filling the syringe then letting him dip it in his cough medicine (he's got a cough at moment) so he thinks he's getting the nice stuff then fire the nasty into him. grin

The sun is out finally oh what to do???!!

Gosh, lots of catching up to do! We had a wonderful journey up- hailstorms, crashes causing delays (no-one hurt but closing down chunks of motorway) and DS decided to get ill. We had two spectacular spews during the journey as we were travelling, and he's had the dire-rear ever since.
First viewer didn't go for our house but we've got another viewing Monday, and it's still not 'live' on the market yet...I need to sort out viewings for six others!

Good to see you back Octopus, glad to see you back, and good to hear that you're making progress with the ex! And yes, no Oi is worrying, hope it's not too grim....

So sorry to hear of all the pox horrors, you poor things. Hope you made it home safely figgy, it sounded rather frustrating!

Glad your boss rethought Kat - at least if someone says something stupid but then realises, it's not too bad, we all have our moments! You're doing incredibly well to still be doing the rounds at your stage too.

seven, that is very worrying. Your MiL is frankly deluded, and I could use stronger language. Your BiL has only been caught twice, but he will have done it a lot more than that. You're absolutely right to never allow him near your kids, and I'd be worried about letting them round to your PiLs if your MiL can't see that BiL has to be kept away. Very concerning about his kids too.
What a grim situation for you all, so sorry sad

QueenofClean Sat 25-May-13 11:05:14

We have just got 2 tickets for Darcie to see One Direction at Wembley in June 2014 - that's her Xmas present sorted grin

Aethelfleda Sun 26-May-13 11:14:15

We managed a day of the show (which was good fun), but then bailed out as DS threw up (after being ok for a whole 24 hours) and then DD1 started puking..... Boo for random D&V viruses. I am now in the process of bleaching/washing everything in the house....

Enjoy the nice weather girls... (and well done for surviving the pox figgy and mopsy

<puts the teapot on to brew>

QueenofClean Sun 26-May-13 11:43:30

Went to a local booty this morning as gorgeous weather and Sky now has her own wheels! (Video on FB) bargain for a £5 and she knows she has to keep her foot down on pedal...will never get her off it now lol.

Got my parents round for a roast today which am really looking forward too smile

Hope everyone has a fab bank holiday.

mopsytop Sun 26-May-13 15:56:23

Hope you're all having a lovely weekend! Minimopsy much better, spots drying up, much happier. So left her with her granny (who she calls 'Gah') and came to that London for the night with Mr. Mopsy for his birthday. Staying at fab hotel with one if the best cocktail bars in London (cocktails later yay!). Gorgeous weather, lovely big room with huge bath and bed, lovely long walk down the south bank in the sun earlier, then wander through Soho and lunch with fresh homemade lemonade, now lazing on king size bed with window open, light breeze blowing over me, drinking a gin and tonic. Life is pretty near perfect right now... thank goodness minim got over the pox in time!

mopsytop Sun 26-May-13 16:08:19

p.s. sorry about D&V aethel. Nightmare.

Aethelfleda Sun 26-May-13 21:50:33

We've mostly mopped up! Four lots of washing later and at least the V part seems ok hopes DD2 doesn't get it next, or me or DH

mopsy hope you have a loverly evening...

queen that sounds a v cool present for DD1, hope she is speechless when she gets 'em.

Hope octopus and oi are OK and that xiao hasn't commenced FILtricide....

Right, gin o'clock. I have found DH a bottle of posh Fevertree tonic as a treat to go with his Tanqueray, I think we deserve one after the weekend we've had!

<nips off to chop lemons>

Aethelfleda Mon 27-May-13 23:04:22

Ooh it's gone all quiet...

(not over here, DD2 kept me up overnight with the tidiest vomiting imaginable, and now DH has the lurgy)

<prepares vat of bleach and dons biohaz suit>

janey223 Mon 27-May-13 23:21:02

Not much going on here, I'm poorly but monkey is running rings around me as usual!

QueenofClean Tue 28-May-13 06:52:55

Aethel hope the bug leaves you soon.

I'm taking the girls to Southsea Aquarium today and if not raining a walk down the seafront smile

DH actually got up in the night to settle Sky so I could actually sleep...good man!

Have a good day all.

Figgygal Tue 28-May-13 07:53:33

Back to work today for me after 13 straight days off hmm DS being a joy and gone back to no drama bed times his head is healing well after his accident Saturday and he's back to cm today so don't have to feed him again until Friday hooray!!

mopsytop Tue 28-May-13 08:50:34

Hi all, had an amazing two days. Yesterday had a day at the Sanctuary spa. Was totally fab. Today back to grey rainy normality. Minimopsy is over her pox and they are fading. Her face looks nearly back to normal but still lots on her body. No longer contagious thank goodness so can go out and see people!

Glad Danny OK figgy.
Hope the vom stops soon aethel. Poor you sad
How is everyone?

OctopusWrangler Tue 28-May-13 10:49:03

We had a night of pyrovom and splodapoo. My floor was a warzone of sheets, towels and other such things this morning. He's feeling much better now though and has managed a portion of fake cheerios (aldi rules) so all is well in his world.

Aethelfleda Wed 29-May-13 08:06:33

<looks around cautiously>

I think we are over the lurgy....

<makes large pot of tea and hands out Danishes>

Oh and octopus, we're big fans of Aldi hoops too (and all their cereal own-brands). aldi rocks....(since we moved it's sadly further away so I go every few weeks for a stock-up)

Figgygal Wed 29-May-13 12:58:35

Hope all of the sick Lo's (and anyone else) are feeling better!!

Where is everyone it has gone very quiet last week or so, is it half term-itis?!? Hope everyone is lurking and not deserting!!

DS now looks like a Klingon with his massive red head scab bang in the middle of his forehead, think he scratched it last night in his sleep as it was bleeding this morning, it makes my knees go wibbly just thinking about it.

GaryBuseysTeeth Wed 29-May-13 13:10:10

<hazmat> for Octopus, hope DS gets better soon.
We've got a Lidl, I luff their own brand choco flakers but DH is a museli snob...bought 3 boxes of Tesco 'Corn Pops' today, got a 4 bowl a day habit atm!

mopsy, so glad you've had a wonderful few days! And Mini is over the worst.

Figgy, hope your Klingon isn't too grumpy about bleeding...and he's happy back in routine at the CM.

Northen, how are the viewings going?

Aethel, glad you're over the lurgy.
DS still hasn't been ill yet so I know he's saving it up for when we have the newborn....

He hasn't sleep regressed but I put him down at 7, he's still awake (and happy in his cot) at 9 most nights so I think it's time to start cutting back his daytime nap, not what pregnant & tired me needs!

Faffin Wed 29-May-13 13:18:12

<waves> I'm lurking

Sorry to hear about all the poorly little ones, hope all now on the mend.

mopsy glad you had a lovely weekend, it sounds fabulous

seven how are you getting on with 3 DC's? (The hideous situation with BIL aside of course). Are you getting any more sleep yet?

northern how are DS's ears now?

DS has been so accident prone since we came home. He's covered in bruises and looks quite the battered child sad. I had a parenting fail at the weekend when I managed to throw a ball in DD's face and give her a nosebleed. Otherwise all good this end!

mopsytop Wed 29-May-13 14:19:50

Hope poorly babas improving. Where is everyone?

Rain here. But went down town and bought Minimopsy a raincoat this morning and got her wellies at the weekend so we can go out anyway! Might go jump through some puddles when she wakes from her nap...

mopsytop Wed 29-May-13 19:15:42

Oh crap husband had 24 hour vomiting bug, now me. Please please don't let Minimopsy get it. Nursery day tomorrow and missed it last week cos of pox and I reeeaaallly need to finish book proposal plus don't fancy minding baba if I am still vomming sad only good thing is we didn't get it until after lovely weekend!

OctopusWrangler Wed 29-May-13 20:13:05

D&V still in evidence here. He's not keeping much down, but I'm not too worried as he's a good colour and reasonably cheery if prone to an extra couple of cat naps.

Hope everyone else is on the mend soon.

Aethel Aldi is a fifteen minute walk from school, then a half hour bus ride home, so we go once every couplw of weeks to get those bits we can't do without such as cereal and wash powdersmile

Oh Bob, there's really a D&V bug doing the rounds of the country at the moment isn't there?! Can't believe we/the DCs have all had it! Some extra special types have managed chicken pox too... wink Commiserations to mopsy, figgy, aethel, octopus and janey. So glad that DS is at least back to normal with his bedtimes figgy.
DS had his last bout Monday, but I knew he was on the mend when a few hours later he started eating twiglets, and then had beans on toast at the motorway service station grin

Thanks for asking, and funnily enough faffin we're taking him to the consultant next week for his follow up. Wasn't too impressed last time, especially when the consultant tried to tell me that the blood we'd seen was dark earwax hmm He seemed to think that as DS's eardrums weren't perforated at that exact moment they had not been before, despite seventy hundred and three GPs looking in his ears and seeing them.

I've had three late nights, travelling back home and then two late ones with work, joy. We've had two viewings already GBR, but the house isn't yet on the market- it'll go on tomorrow, we're just reviewing the brochure now...I'm steeling myself for badly punctuated estate-agentese confused!

OctopusWrangler Wed 29-May-13 20:54:30

I'm hoping nobody else gets it. Boo doesn't deal well with unexpected bodily emissions. Squidge is ok, but tends toward constipated so D&V hits her hardsad

To make brochure scanning more tolerable, imagine it has been produced using my old iphone. Spelling and cobblers s gogo! wink

grin we're not entirely sure what they mean by 'local wall tiling' in the bathroom, but are going to live with it...

I just want them to get it on the market so we can get a few more people round!

Glad to here octoboy's not too bad with it Octopus, hope it doesn't go any further...

And any news at all about Oi, on FB or anything?

jigglebum Wed 29-May-13 22:06:39

Just a quick hello from me - things have been pretty manic here with both DH and I working most evenings after the DC are in bed so not much spare time. Sorry to hear of all the illness once again. Freya and DS have coughs and colds (just for a change) and Freya had a very dodgy nappy this evening, so hope that is not the next thing.

Quick update - we went camping with the in laws the other weekend- was ok actually but hard work with 2 kids and for one night (and it rained Sunday). We were away this weekend too for 4 days at relatives. DS was a bit of a nightmare in terms of behaviour so a bit embarrassing. He is much better behaved with just me but plays up with DH and I as he knows it causes tensions.

Half term this week - not great weather so far. I am working 2 days so GPs are on duty for those. We had the paddling pool out and a BBQ on Sunday and then cold and rain Mon/tues!

Oi has posted a few things on facebook so seems to be around and ok.

Faffin Thu 30-May-13 07:17:42

northern that all sounds really frustrating. I hope the appointment next week is more productive

Figgygal Thu 30-May-13 20:12:20

Sat on our bed watching a tired but stubborn lo thrash and scream in his bed through the monitor hmm been a few days since we've had such nonsense!!

Supposed to be swimming tomorrow with him is swimming good or bad for Klingon like forehead scabs? I'm going with good as don't want him missing out on another weeks class as with the MC, being away and the pox he's missed 3 weeks in a row now.

Sounds like one for aethel... I'd take him anyway, if it's just a scab it'll be OK, if it's pox related I'd ask someone who knows about these things!

I've just earned my 'good partner' badge by whipping up some brownies for DP to take in for his colleague's leaving do tomorrow. I'll do another batch for work on Monday to say thanks for their help on a recent project. They are soooooooooooo evil though, cost a bomb to buy the ingredients, and as DP says, if you wipe one down a table it'd go see-through grin

Ta faffin; I'm just hoping they will refer him for grommets, don't want another winter of him yelling in agony and leaving a trail of dried snot/ear gunk round the house...

Figgygal Thu 30-May-13 21:36:28

The scab is his war wound after falling out the back door it's really raised and black but healing well........trying really hard not to pick it am a picker!!

mopsytop Thu 30-May-13 21:43:26

ha figgy I know is totally gross but I was sooooo tempted to pick Minimopsy's chicken pox scabs on her head. I refrained but there's no denying I was tempted. Ugh am disgusted with myself!

janey223 Thu 30-May-13 23:43:08

Ohh scabs - o always want to pick monkeys too!

He had paed today who tested him for coeliac, hoping its ok fuck knows what I'll feed him on if its not

Glad to hear most are feeling better, hope d&v gets better soon... Off to crawl back to bed!

Aethelfleda Fri 31-May-13 10:15:24

Hiya girls <waves>. go swimming Figgy and don't pick that scab even if it's really tempting

Hope Monkey is OK on the testing janey, if it is coeliac then "all" you have to do is feed him gluten-free (so rice is fine, oats ok, anything labelled "gluten free" or suitable for coeliacs"). Some gluten free products are expensive but if you stick mostly to "normal" food (fruit/veg/rice/rice noodles) you can have, some gluten free products (flour, bread and pizza bases) are actually prescribable (useful if money is tight) Gluten free pasta is pretty good nowadays and my friend who was coeliac used to make her own bread. If he is diagnosed they should refer you to a dietician for advice, and the coeliac society has a good website.

I have cleared the enormous washing basket!

CheungFun Fri 31-May-13 10:27:49

Hi everyone,

Been AWOL as we have been viewing houses grin We have out in an offer on a lovely 3 bedroom house and it's been accepted, so we need to get our flat on the market and sold ASAP! I have had a huge spring clean and tidy up (with help from DH) and we have one estate agent coming today to do a valuation and another one coming tomorrow!

Keep everything crossed for us!

Figgygal Fri 31-May-13 17:40:09

Ooh cheung that's exiting news!!

DS been up since 6.45 and refuses all attempts at sleep as a result have achieved very little today he won't even wear his hat so we can play in garden very very bored!!

SevenReasonsToSmile Fri 31-May-13 18:54:54

Hope all the D&V has passed, definitely something doing the rounds, DH, DD1 and DS all had it when DD2 came home from hospital.

cheung that's great news, though I'm surprised they've accepted an offer when you're not on the market yet.

faffin thanks for asking, it's actually going very well. Everyone is right when they say going from 2-3 is easier than 1-2 as you just have to get on with it more, though she's a really easy baby which helps. Not getting any more sleep but we've adjusted and coping with it now.

DD2 is a piglet and has gained almost a whole pound this week, today was my due date. DH is already talking about number 4 but I'm not convinced.

Still no oi?

OiMissus Sat 01-Jun-13 07:08:59

Yikes. Sorry ladies. I need to take a week off work to catch up with the thread.
DH is up with BOi, so I've grabbed a minute. smile
I've been trying to spend less time online and more with DH, but I've also been so busy with work.
Hope you're all well and happy. I have missed you.
We're ok.
I haven't contacted relate yet.
And DH hasn't done anything he was supposed to do either.
Rather than me take his bank card off him and give him pocket money (ha!) he said that he would collect receipts and record expenditure and present it every evening. I emphasised that it must be him doing this, that I wouldn't chase, he would have to make the effort. ...and I've reminded him twice now.
But we're ok.
I'm off to France with work this week, but then we're going to Scotland for 5 days holiday. I'm hoping it will help.
I'm just not that interested still.
In other news I have just had the lightest period ever for the last 5 days. The last time this happened it turned out I was pg.
It would be a miracle as we only dtd once last month (I was feeling generous and making an effort!).
I will let you know how I get on. And I will try and catch up with the thread so I'm not so ignorant!

So, he sleeps in til 7 yesterday when it was DP's turn but today up at 5.55 hmm...

So pleased to hear DD2 is doing well seven, and that she's pudging up beautifully.

And I'm so jealous of you cheung! We've not found anything we like yet, it's not faaaaiiiiiiir Mind you, we've just done the valuation/de-cluttering/estate agents horror over the past month, so I'll support you through that lovely period grin How exciting for you though, let us know how it goes.

We're going to look at one today, and then two on Tuesday. The one we really, really wanted to see however, has been withdrawn yesterday...still going to knock on the door though, politely, and just say we're still interested- can't do any harm.

Oooh, cross post (seriously, it takes that long with DS rampaging and pooing, started the damn thing at half 6) Oi!

Glad to see you're back, sorry to hear things are still not brilliant. Go and POAS and let us know

Figgygal Sat 01-Jun-13 08:12:08

oi welcome back sorry to hear dh still being trying. And not wanting to state the obvious on pg but it only takes once as I found to my cost last month.

Could he be feeling emasculated as you are so in control at home and successful at work? Since my dh work has faltered and he's earning very little he's been more difficult to talk with and he feels like a failure and that he can't provide for his family.

SevenReasonsToSmile Sat 01-Jun-13 10:05:51

Glad you're ok oi, sorry things aren't great though. We only DTD once in September last year, I'm cuddling her as I type grin

Aethelfleda Sat 01-Jun-13 17:08:37

Aaargh DS has just started his usual habit of pulling all the DVDs off the shelves in the lounge. Is 17 months too young to naughty-step?

is probably going to do it anyway

Faffin Sat 01-Jun-13 19:42:57

DS would not understand the naughty step concept. He often tries to go and sit on the step with DD when she's on there because he thinks it looks fun!

mopsytop Sat 01-Jun-13 20:22:53

This has nothing to do with anything but I made the yummiest Victoria sponge today with fresh raspberries and fresh cream. Sooooo delicious. Had sushi for dinner as well so don't even feel overly guilty about scoffing a slice! Think may have to bring some round the neighbours though... can't eat a whole cake between two of UA!

hi Oi ... glad all OK.

Figgygal Sat 01-Jun-13 20:52:54

My god I've had a random food day mash potato and beans lunchtime a BBQ this afternoon with cake and cookies am now drinking a very disappointing bottle of wine......hate it when that happens!!

DS was at a 3yr old bday party today and about the same size as some of them shock

Aethelfleda Sat 01-Jun-13 21:29:16

<hands round large Sipsmiths' gin and tonics with lime>

BJR Sun 02-Jun-13 07:20:51

Mopsy that cake sounds fab, I want some!

DS has learnt to say DSS name this week. So all week he has been wandering round the house looking everywhere for him saying William over and over! He was very pleased when he eventually arrived yesterday!

Good luck with house selling/hunting to all those doing so. Sounds stressful, I found it bad enough sorting out a rented house let alone buying one.

DS built us a lovely new decking this weekend, I'm off to London for the day while he finishes building steps. Makes a change from our previously unusable garden.

janey223 Sun 02-Jun-13 08:07:18

Gluten free not so bad... Gluten, milk, legume and nut free a bit daunting. His RAST tests all came back negative though, so I'm focussing on that!

Have you tried quiet time aethel? It's much like time out (naughty step) but rather than take them out of the room you take them out of the situation but keep them in the room eg on your lap. You can do it for a minute around 18m - 3 (time starts when they're quiet rather than tantruming), naughty step/time out is recommended to start around 2.

Aethelfleda Sun 02-Jun-13 16:22:10

Thanks janey! what I tend to do at the mo is a combination of distraction if it's just a little thing (forget that, look over heeere! Squirrel!) and if it's something he KNOWS he shouldn't do (you can tell this cos he looks guilty when caught!) then he is picked up and put facing away from me (usually in the nearest corner ie boring space) for a few seconds, with a single firm NO. He then cries and comes back for reassurance, gets a hug and we do something else. It has no time limit (tho I've never been a strict timing with naughty stepping/timeout as it's more a thingy to teach the DDs that some behaviour is not acceptable rather than a do-yer-time punishment).

Relative quiet reigns as the DDs hve just had friends over which has tired them out nicely.

Oh and good luck with the houses cheung and northern, keep us posted!

mopsytop Sun 02-Jun-13 16:36:04

oooh house hunt cheung...exciting. We decided to put a new (v cheap but nice) kitchen and kitchen floor in as ours is SUCH a state. I think we will make it back. At the very least it will make house easier to sell. But won't be put in until July so will wait til then to put house on market...

Gorgeous sunny day. Minim up at 5.45 (urrrgh) so were out by 8.20 for fab three hour walk. Since then been lazing in garden drinking a cider and then lots of lovely lemonade in deck chairs while minim napped and then ran around playing. Perfect really ...

Hope you're all having good weekends

Figgygal Sun 02-Jun-13 16:53:16

Back from weston super mare managed to cram in the aquarium, the sandcastle festival, mesmerising ds with the lights and loud music of the pier and then fish and chips on the front grin ds hates the sand he would cry every time he stood in it so the change of clothes, towel, bucket and spade dragged down the M5 was surplus to requirements.

He has a rash again on his legs hoping it is sun cream rash he is off to the bath very soon!!

Phew...feeling pretty knackered. We've had a day of cleaning and tidying the house, and doing general housework (so piles of washing, etc) then went off on the walk to the country pub this afternoon.
It only takes about 50 minutes but it's up and down hill, pushing DS. We had a lovely time, just had the one bottle of cider sitting outside and for the first time we just let DS go off. It has a great garden, so we just kept a very close eye on him and let him toddle round.
Only problem was when another little boy, about his age, mugged him for his ball grin

On the house front, just getting slightly narked that we're still not on the market properly; I really want us to be on at the start of this week, especially as we're seeing a house we really like on Tuesday....

That's so cute BJR, and really good to get 'William', that's a big word for the age of our DCs.

And that sounds exactly the sort of perfect day I want mopsy, and will have when I get my garden! Why are they waking so bloody early at the moment though, is this a downside of summer or are they just little sods ?

That's funny re. your DS figgy, wonder what it was about the sand he didn't like! At least he had a fun time on the pier.

SevenReasonsToSmile Sun 02-Jun-13 20:10:22

Sounds like lovely days mopsy and figgy. It's been lovely here, me and the DCs went to my parents. DS and DD1 spent most of the day playing in the garden while me and DD2 enjoyed cuddles under the parasol.

Interesting to hear what others are doing re discipline. With DS I didn't do anything before naughty step at 2.5 other than a firm no, but he was very well behaved generally. I think I need to find another strategy with DD1, we currently in a horrid phase where every time I say no she screams.

I'm struggling with DH as we're both exhausted. I know I shouldn't moan as he's doing some of the night feeds but he drives me mad when he's tired, constantly moaning about how exhausted he is. DD1 was really crying/screaming this afternoon (shes cutting a back tooth), rather than trying to calm her down he got cross and moaned, she's only 18 months old FFS sad

SevenReasonsToSmile Sun 02-Jun-13 20:13:24

What's the hold up getting on the market northern? They're not all waking early, DD1 is finally sleeping through until 6am most days though I'm narked she waited until DD2 came so we're still not sleeping

OiMissus Sun 02-Jun-13 20:54:00

Your weekends do sound nice, long walks, country pubs, house sale excitements...
We visited the parents-in-law's new static caravan yesterday. Oh my god. I felt like I'd gone on holiday to a council estate. (Of course, there's nothing wrong with council estates... Just the masses of the great unwashed... And that's just DH's family.)
So DH's youngest sis was there, with her 4 kids (of 4 dads). Her youngest is one month younger than BOi. And all day she was fed crisps and biscuits.
DH's youngest brother was there with his gf. She's due on Tuesday and was smoking like a chimney... The caravan looked like a bomb had hit it - but that's how they've decorated it, with so much chintzy crap and soft toys.
We were invited to stay for dinner, we felt obliged. I then had to witness mum, dad and brother separating the salad and meat between the 10 plates with their FINGERS!
Oh, and they didn't think to do a plate for BOi. (What did they think he was going to eat? The fag butts strewn around the decking!??!)
Today has been better.wink
We've done a few odd jobs and played in the garden. I've now got to get my derrière in gear and pack for the weeks ahead.
Oh yes, and there is that other little thing...
I've just POAS.
Seems we'll be adding a new addition to the thread!
(Typical that when we weren't trying and I've been knocking back the wine and vodka with the girls to moan about DH, that I'm pg.)
Well, I'm delighted. DH is delighted. We'll sort ourselves out.
Yippee!!! grin

Faffin Sun 02-Jun-13 21:16:23

Congratulations oi grin, as we all said, it only takes the once!

And shock at yesterday's events!

Figgygal Sun 02-Jun-13 21:26:57

Congratulations oi

Oi Yay! DS was being looked after by SIL yesterday. I'd put snacks .and lunch in his bag. When I collected him he'd had biscuits hmm

We have finally managed to sieve all the gravel out of what will eventually be the lawn in our back yard. Poor DH has done most of it as although I helped when we started about a month ago, sieving and a baby bump do not mix (unless we are talking baking wink)

Our mahoosive lawn will be 720cm x 273cm. I am very very excited!

OctopusWrangler Sun 02-Jun-13 22:46:49

Congratulations Oismile

<takes council estate chic away> wink

OctopusWrangler Sun 02-Jun-13 22:49:53

Octoboy ate milkshake today. He's been ill all week and it is the only thing he actually showed interest in, and kept down. Baaaad mum! It was a nice one made with milk and ice cream. I'm hoping tomorrow will include fruit and maybe even some pasta!

mopsytop Mon 03-Jun-13 07:31:10

Yay congrats Oi!

SevenReasonsToSmile Mon 03-Jun-13 07:56:19

Congratulations oi, wonderful news! Ignore my last post, we're just tired, babies are wonderful and we're very happy really.

octopus at least it's getting some calories in him if he hasn't been interested in anything else.

janey223 Mon 03-Jun-13 08:35:18

Congrats oi! grin

I'm sure octoboy loved it and some good calories/fat.

Monkey stole his chocolate out the fridge yesterday and sat in the kitchen munching in before he showed off his chocolate face hmm knew he was too quiet

OctopusWrangler Mon 03-Jun-13 09:54:44

Today there was toast!

CheungFun Mon 03-Jun-13 13:44:46

Hello all,

Had estate agents round and taken photos etc so once we hand in the forms tomorrow am we should be on the market by close of business tomorrow....very nervous but excited too! Hope it all goes to plan!

Congratulations Oi! Exciting news smile

DS is learning in leaps and bounds, he understands a lot but still isn't saying anything I can make sense of. He can point to his nose, tummy and feet when I ask "wheres your....?", and he can fetch his shoes or book or puzzle when asked even if they're in a different room.

He's having a few 'tantrums' but they're pretty tame, I either just ignore him or distract him depending on my mood!

Aethelfleda Mon 03-Jun-13 16:16:15

Ooh oi, that's lovely, congratulations!

seven you are doing brilliantly, a tiny <haddock> for occasional use on your DH when required. You have a tight age gap between DDs so consider the mantra "it is alright and it will only get easier"... How's DS doing physically by the way, I'm guessing he's four/five now?

Good luck cheung, hope you get a good ratio of viewings to offers! not that I'm bitter about our 22 viewings, no siree

I have almost finished doing up the first room in the house to desired standard. Not bad for three months in blush
I've been reliably informed that it's about six months to settle in to a new place...

Oh and is anyone elses' DC eating like the clappers at the moment? Since he had this sicky bug last week it's snack, snack, snack....

OiMissus Mon 03-Jun-13 17:02:39

We have been in Ashworth Towers now for 11 months, and I have only done one room - BOi's nursery.
However, we do have 4 veggie plots greening up nicely.
I can imagine that I'll get a wriggle on with some other things now that we have a new deadline... (I need to find out what that deadline is... is it 40 weeks since we dtd that gives the due date? If so, ...week 19, Friday, plus 40 weeks, = 59 = 2014 week 7, Friday,... = February 14th. Aw!
that sounds awfully soon.
Also, my family already has a million birthdays in February.
Am in France this week at management meetings. We're visiting the Taittinger caves tomorrow night. They know I like wine / champagne, etc., they are so going to know that I am upduffed. Especially when I don't choose foie gras from the menu!
My stomach is turning somersaults today.
My suitcase exploded over the carousel.
I spilt water over someone's notes.
My brain has ceased functioning. (I mean, I have said some seriously dizzy things! I got through my presentation, but I didn't lead...)

i am so upduffed.
he he he smile

OiMissus Mon 03-Jun-13 17:03:27

And moody! I have been so short-tempered! - thankfully not with my colleagues - yet!

Aw, congratulations Oi, there must be something in the water atm!

Same here with the DS-eating-post-bug. Nothing for about five days (bits of yoghurt and toast) and when he was back nursery reported he had 'seconds' on all meals three days on the trot.

Gave the hurry along to our estate agents today, we need to get it on the market! We sent the brochure back Wednesday night requesting the addition of two words and the removal of one, so not exactly requesting the earth...gah, want to get moving. I'll be envy if you're on the market that quickly cheung.

And that sounds an awesome size lawn kat, lucky you smile

SevenReasonsToSmile Mon 03-Jun-13 21:18:46

DD1 never stops eating! I can't open the cupboard without her being there pointing and squeaking!

oi its 40 weeks since your last AF. The due date calculator on here is good, it's right of my earlier post if you're on the web version.

aethel DS will be 5 next week, thanks for asking. He's doing ok, but struggles with some things. he normally climbs our stairs on hands and feet as theyre quite steep, he was determined to climb them standing up earlier but couldnt and refused to let me help him, and last week he fell over in the road and cut his head. I think we're at the point where he's starting to notice that he's different to others his age, not looking forward to the conversation we'll inevitably have to have soon sad.

jigglebum Mon 03-Jun-13 21:36:57

Congrats to oi - hope you are feeling ok.
seven you are doing a fab job. A new born along side freya and my nearly 5 yo and I would be seriously losing the plot!!
Hope all the house movers get some good viewings soon. I know how stressful it is and Im grateful that it is all over for hopefully a long time. We still have some DIY to do but all rooms are now decorated and the extension built (we have been in 2.5 years!so it has taken some time)
Right off for a bath and bed. Night all

SevenReasonsToSmile Tue 04-Jun-13 09:32:27

Grr didnt get to bed until 2am then had an argument at 4.30 angry

Aethelfleda Tue 04-Jun-13 16:10:34

Aaaargh it's been an awful day so far. DD2 has nits and school dictate they can only go back in once thoroughly impregnate with chemicals (I hate nit shampoos, but will they accept that wet combing is what really works better? Nope, that's policy for you). So spent the morning combing DD2's incredibly thick hair... And then DS spilt an entire pot of paint (it was left sitting on the floor but not open!) bu throwing it down the stairs. I now have a horribly stained stairs carpet (white paint, green carpet). The only consolation is that it was an old carpet as we are waiting to replace once I'm back at work. Just aaargh.

Plus sides: the sun is out, the house is cool indoors, and we don't live in Syria (awful news on the radio from there). This is small potatoes in the grand scheme of things.

((((hug)))) for seven. you're such a caring and sensible mum. DS is lucky. Hope you get some sleep soon: being sleep deprived makes everything ten times worse

<brews up coffee for all in slightly paint-spattered mugs>

SevenReasonsToSmile Tue 04-Jun-13 16:59:53

aethel ugh nits, you win. It's my own fault I'm so sleep deprived, I was up late ordering DS birthday presents, and I'm trying to do housework while DD2 is sleeping rathe than sitting down.

Is it too early to crack open the vodka?

janey223 Tue 04-Jun-13 20:55:42

It's after breakfast so not too early seven!

CheungFun Tue 04-Jun-13 23:15:49

Our estate agents are our very own sharks! They got our flat on the market this afternoon and we had a viewing this evening, and another one booked for tomorrow afternoon. I'm so nervous, I feel like I'm awaiting exam results!

Hopefully even if we don't receive any offers straight away we will get feedback from the viewings which we can work on. I think the big down point is that there isn't any allocated parking and it's just a free for all, but we have never not had a space on our road, so hopefully we can get that across.

Aethel hope tomorrow is an easier day for you!

mopsytop Wed 05-Jun-13 12:11:02

In Ireland for a whole week! Just me and Minimopsy. Fab weather. Woohoo!

HopALongMcLimpyLegs Wed 05-Jun-13 13:11:39

Have a lovely time mopsy

Huge congrats to Oi loving the idea of of bOi as a big brother! We must get together when you're back from the land of kilts. Bring me some bubble back from France, you're right posh you!

Aethel <shudder> nits are one of my big fears. And boo to paint everywhere!

Lots of positive thoughts to those of you selling houses and dealing with poorly kidlets.

Kind of fallen off the thread a bit recently. We're all fine. House is currently a building site as my lovely daddy is visiting and building me a brand new kitchen. The old one had to be totally ripped out and a few unexpected problems turned up - previous owners had tiled over a hole in the wall that went all the way outside, tiled over a live uncovered electrical socket, plastered over wallpaper, had a water leak that was never fixed so dad went through the floor boards when they took the plywood up, and lots of electrics and plumbing needed fixed. BUT, beautiful new floor is in and the base units are in, counter going on today hopefully. Had to take dad to casualty yesterday as he managed to shred his finger with a giant wood auger drill bit. I nearly vommed. Could not be a Dr. We've been back at my mums over the weekend to keep DS away from the carnage, it's actually been really good and we had a lovely time with family and all my sister's kids. I know I posted about it on the FB thread, but an old friend of mine had a baby over the weekend who was born very very poorly after inhaling meconium, he was rushed to a specialist hospital for some scary sounding ECMO treatment BUT he's now off ecmo and breathing for himself and it's all looking really positive. Big big relief, I just can't even imagine how scared his mum was. What else... oh, we've got most of the climbing frame up so just need to get a baby swing seat, DS now has a lovely HUGE sandpit which needs a coat of paint courtesy of my dad (again). That's it I think! Phew!

Figgygal Wed 05-Jun-13 19:17:28

I think DS has allergies the last 2 days cm has taken them to the park and he's come home eyes pink/watery poor little mite hmm

He's still not talking much more than mummy daddy juice ball and bubble how can we encourage him more we read a lot to him, he understands lots and can make lots of animal noises when we say the animal names but words just aren't coming. He's definitely a rampaged rather than a talker

janey223 Wed 05-Jun-13 19:33:29

Asking him what things are figgy? I do it with monkey. His pronunciation is just getting worse though - yellow has gone from ellow to yeye and dog has become ogie hmm my friend boy is a week older than him and speaks in 3 word sentences shockshock

We went to the park twice today, second time this 4-5 year old monster stole monkeys toy, refused to give it back then eventually threw it and broke it when my friend interviewed so I could chase back an escaping monkey! Going to dr tomorrow as I think he has hayfever and will call paeds on Friday and harass about his coeliac test. He's exhausted after his 90second nap today so currently sat watching hollyoaks!

CheungFun Wed 05-Jun-13 20:23:50

Figgy DS is the same, he understands plenty, but he hasn't got any words yet (none I can make sense of anyway)! I think as long as they're understanding things and making their wants known by pointing and grunting I don't think there's any need to worry, they'll just talk when they're ready. Just carry on reading and chatting and pointing things out and try to guess what they're trying to say.

Janey i don't blame you for getting out to the park twice, it's best to enjoy the nice weather while it's here!

jigglebum Wed 05-Jun-13 20:26:26

Hi everyone, loving this weather - everthing seems so much brighter. Freya suddenly seems so much more of a toddler. Her language is exploding (not clear but loads of of words) - she is such a girl in someways as she can say dress, shoes, socks, hat, dirty but also car, bus, tractor! She is at that very entertaining stage - Freya what does a cow say - mooo etc , where is your head etc. I remember this stage with DS and really enjoyed it. They become more independent and their own little people.

This was the age we thought we would start for number 2! Won't be happening again though! For those whose DCs don't say so much don't worry - DS said very little for a long time (he did have glue ear which had a big impact) - by 2 he still said very little but now at 4 I have to tell him to shut up at times!

Aethelfleda Wed 05-Jun-13 21:04:31

Hi everyone, better day today chez Aethel, I'm pleased to say. Winning the battle of the wrigglies, and have finished our ensuite bathroom decoration <excited>....

DH redeemed himself by complimenting my ability to remove paint from carpet, and today the lovely lovely BT man came and really fixed our broadband so that we actually get the fast speed we have been paying for. Yay.

Oh dear janey re the hayfever, it is meant to be a huge pollen count this summer due to so many delayed flowers from the awful spring weather. And if he's already got allergies it's a higher risk for him to get hayfever too. Hope your GP can help....

<sits down with a well-earned cuppa. Pass your mug for some Dec '11 tea, and the octopi can have milkshake>

OiMissus Thu 06-Jun-13 07:19:36

This may have been the shortest pregnancy so far... Have been bleeding -quite lightly - for the last 15 hrs. I guess this probably means not pg anymore, right?
I'll carry on regardless and, when the bleeding stops, do a test. Oh well. Probably for the best. This month we weren't trying, and I'd traded the folic acid for vodka.
Maybe a wake up call to sort myself out, drop the booze, take the tabs, be healthy and do it right! (And a wake up call to DH about sorting himself out!)

OiMissus Thu 06-Jun-13 07:52:41

At Paris airport... I can see Hermes, Chanel, Rolex, Swarovski,... But no sign of a chemist or shop with practical stuff. (The toilets didn't have any machines either).
Hey ho!
Home soon. And then washing, packing the car, and hopefully driving up to Scotland tonight to start a holiday!
Mum n dad have rented a cottage at Sandhead on the western, southern coast. We're going up for 6 nights.#muchneededholiday!

Figgygal Thu 06-Jun-13 08:05:25

oi u might be ok just concentrate on getting home hmm

SevenReasonsToSmile Thu 06-Jun-13 10:15:04

Sorry oi. I had some light bleeding with DS but all was ok. I think even with a mc it takes a while for the pg hormone to leave your system so you'd be best to wait a couple of day. By then if its much heavier you'll have a good idea anyway.

Off to register Beatrice this morning.

mopsytop Thu 06-Jun-13 11:10:08

Oh dear Oi, very sorry to hear that.

well done on house improvements aethel

Northern , Cheung fingers crossed for house viewings. Our kitchen is basically gone. Need to get it plastered then new one in before we can put house on market.

OiMissus Thu 06-Jun-13 11:50:12

Aethel - how's the nit treatment going? And we'll done on paint removal. What a nightmare!
Seven - re staying up late buying presents. We do everything, don't we? We run the world. Everything would stop if women did. The boys need to wake up to it. The boys need to put their idiotic guns down and hand over the power to us. (Then Syria would be a happy sunny place).
Hop along -easily, I guess- happy new kitchen!
I've been looking out for signs of hay fever, figgy, I got paranoid when BOi sneezed when we mowed the grass. Hope it passes, and isn't an allergy.
BOi sounds much like figgyboy, a rampager - loads of sounds, chatters and noises, he understands an amazing amount, can identify animals, things, pictures, all the body parts... But his actual words seem to be going backwards -as you said Janey. He made a brave attempt at Ollie last week when Bennybenbear came to visit, but I think I'll have to be patient.
Cheung - good luck with the house viewings.
I'm on the train on my way home.grin The nice lady brought me a cuppa (tis more like dishwater but the thought was there) and a cake, and the sun is shining. All is well. Shall remain positive and see what happens.

Aethelfleda Thu 06-Jun-13 19:37:02

Good luck oi (((((sneaky hug)))))))

My new carpet cleaner machine arrived! Will see what it makes of a) the highly used lounge carpet and b) the stairs of doomy paint-ness....

The week's definitely improving. Nits have been (hopefully) eradicatied by a multi-pronged assault, I met up with the lovely xiao who is blooming and expert at supplying tea in large quantities. And the big excitement for me next is an (incredibly rare) weekend away, DH is stepping up to the plate until Sunday! .<rummages for a spare golden tribble>

Figgygal Thu 06-Jun-13 19:41:33

Ooh aethel where u off to?

I've left dh upstairs with DS after an epic pre bed tantrum (him not me) they both got angry with each other so now apologising.

Off to boots tomorrow 3rd afternoon in park for DS 3rd evening of pink watery eyes hmm swimming tomorrow too

We're finally on Rightmove, Zoopla, etc, hurrah! Got on this morning...and then two hours later, a halfwit who obviously hadn't checked the records person from the agents called to say as we'd been on the books for a while with so few viewings would we like to do an open house.... hmm
No, we've not had any viewings as no one knew the house was for sale. Tit.

So, fingers crossed we'll get a few more now and hopefully an offer. We're being pestered by all the other agents about 'how's the sale going', six in the last three days. One hung up on me when I said I didn't have time to discuss it. Another deliberately organised our viewing of a property at the same time as another person, without telling us or the owner.


Have a lovely break mopsy, and hope you enjoy your time off too aethel, whatever magical mystery tour you're taking smile And so glad the nits are gone too <shudder>

We're the same figgy, DS will converse in babble, but no proper words (but does say 'ta' when he gives or receives!). We had the hospital appointment and he's being referred for a mega hearing test, and will be kept under the hospital's care for a while yet to see how he is in winter, when it's really bad. Also means that if they do decide to do grommets, we're already in the system iyswim. Really pleased with the outcome.
Sounds like it could be the same as your DS jiggle?

Sorry that it may not be working out Oi; look after yourself and do a few more tests, see what result you get. How're you doing on this front by the way figgy?

Work had just, just gotten quieter and now is going abso-fricking-lutely crazy again...the next two weeks are likely to be national-media level bad (again), so am definitely scheduling my nervous breakdown in for Xmas confused

Figgygal Fri 07-Jun-13 12:27:54

Just back from swimming DS watching cars again although it's still a sight better than more peppa pig. I used to dislike cars always said I didn't want him getting into it but his fave book is also a lightning McQueen one so looks like I'll have to learn to love it grin

Northern def not pg anymore it took a couple of weeks before the pg tests were - as first one had v faint line. I tortured myself last weekend by doing another one as was a bit in denial it was over (even though timing wise it still wouldn't have been great). Thinking start of next year to start try for no2.

mopsytop Fri 07-Jun-13 14:47:45

The weather here is so fab, it is like being abroad! Currently sunbathing in garden while Minimopsy naps. Aaah bliss.

Yesterday bought sandals, two pairs of flats and two gorgeous dresses, one for over jeans and one normal. Mum came and kept Minim entertained. Going to meet an old schoolfriend down the beach for a walk when minim wakes up. This is the life!

SevenReasonsToSmile Fri 07-Jun-13 17:40:39

northern sorry work has gone crazy again, what is it you do?

figgy I was in denial and tested again after mine, I think it's probably normal. We might join you in the new year and try for number 4 god I'm mad, I said we were done at two

mopsy sounds fab. It's sunny here but we have cold north-easterly winds blowing off the sea.

aethel glad to hear of nit removal. Carpet cleaner sounds exciting, I think that makes you officially a grown up.

Figgygal Fri 07-Jun-13 19:04:50

DS hasn't napped today he didn't fri-sun last weekend either it's surely too early for him to drop daytime naps?? Please tell me it is!!!

SevenReasonsToSmile Fri 07-Jun-13 22:34:42

Depends figgy, does he seem overtired and irritable by bedtime?

Figgygal Sat 08-Jun-13 07:07:21

Seven no he is fine though we. Have to make. Sure he is ready for bed earlier in case of meltdown. Was reading another thread about 18 month olds still sleeping for 2hrs. In day .......i. Wish!!

Today ds is off. To the CM for a sleepover as Dh and i are. Off to lets rock bristol where. We shall. Be entertained by such 80s greats as billy ocean, go west and ABC .......oh And brother beyond blush i am only 32 honest grin PIL still not able to have ds so CM offered again.......for free ........i love her!!!

OiMissus Sat 08-Jun-13 11:35:57

Hey all, greetings from a super sunny, Scottish Sandhead. I am red raw burnt to a crisp, but Ali is not, so we're ok. He absolutely loves playing in the sea, it's so much fun. The cottage is right on the sea front, with a fab conservatory. smile
I have done lots of bleeding, so I reckon that's it.
We're ok though.
Btw we watched Les Mis last night. Amazing! Have seen the musical 4 times, but the film was astounding! I cried loads. Brilliant! smile

QueenofClean Sat 08-Jun-13 15:49:07

Hi everyone sorry been AWOL lots going on.

Oi sorry you miscarried. Hope you & DH are okay? Also how are things in general? Enjoy your trip to sunny Scotland smile

Northern hope housey things are going ok?

Aethel hope you de nitted well?

Waves to everyone else.

Well it's been an interesting few weeks. Darcie has had a formal diagnosis of ASD - Autistic Spectrum Disorder. We already have diagnosis of OCD. So been going to support groups and having sessions with CAMHS. I'm also facing therapy for anxiety too. The groups & therapy are making me feel less of a failure as a mother, so DH commented I seem happier and getting back to my old self.

Sky is growing lovely and being really cheeky smile

I currently have a skin infection but overnight found it very difficult to breathe. heavy lungs at back and stabbing pains at front sad been told to call OOH but waiting to see if my inhaler can do some magic if I up the no of puffs! Doubt it tho think I have a chest infection or an infection of some sort sad

janey223 Sat 08-Jun-13 16:34:26

Figgy monkey can skip his nap and he's not bad, if I miss his nap time window then that's it hmm fortunately most of the time he does have it and its 2 hours! Only in the house though, out its half an hour max.

Oi glad you're doing ok.

Queen that's great you got your diagnosis and can get support with it now, glad your feeling better. Is the therapy helping? I've been told I need to have counselling for my other issues and then try cbt for anxiety. Been terrible lately but I'm getting back on top of it.

Good luck with house buying/selling.

We went to the allergy show so monkey I stuffed his face on samples of goodies.going to pop him into the bath then we'll go back out to the park.

Figgygal Sat 08-Jun-13 18:43:06

Oi sorry to hear about the bleedinh it's shit isn't it hmm glad u enjoying your hols and les mis I've seen it in theatre twice have regular 10th anniversary concert viewings and am still traumatised by the movie I've sworn to never watch it again it just makes me such a mess. The marketing says bring the dream home what dream?? It's a fucking horror movie all death and tragedy grin

Go west have just rocked waiting for brother beyond now..,,..am so going to embarrass dh by singing the harder I try grin

Figgygal Sat 08-Jun-13 18:43:20

Oi sorry to hear about the bleedinh it's shit isn't it hmm glad u enjoying your hols and les mis I've seen it in theatre twice have regular 10th anniversary concert viewings and am still traumatised by the movie I've sworn to never watch it again it just makes me such a mess. The marketing says bring the dream home what dream?? It's a fucking horror movie all death and tragedy grin

Go west have just rocked waiting for brother beyond now..,,..am so going to embarrass dh by singing the harder I try grin

BJR Sat 08-Jun-13 19:42:07

Sitting out on my lovely new decking DP built me last weekend and drinking champagne to celebrate his promotion! Things going OK at the moment, turned a big corner this week with DP. Lots of our arguments stem from him being terrible with money and he has suggested that I take over control of all finances and he just keep a small allowance for himself. I think it will make a huge difference to the balance in the relationship.

Sorry to hear about things Oi hope your doing OK and relaxing on holiday.

glad to hear youre getting some support with Darcie queen. Hopefully things will carry on being positive.

and figgy sounds like you're having fun!

Oh and after 17 months of multiple night wakings, got new stuff for DSs excema last week, has made a huge difference and he has slept through a few nights this week, hope it continues smile

QueenofClean Sat 08-Jun-13 19:55:10

Janey therapy is helping so maybe give it a go. smile

well I am home after spending the afternoon in A&E after being taken by ambulance. having breathing difficulties. my Heart rate was 125 should be between 60-80 SATs <94 bp was slightly high. so been hooked to ECGs, nebulisers on full oxygen had cxr which was Normal. got upper respiratory & bronchial tract infection. been told to rest. x

Figgygal Sun 09-Jun-13 09:19:27

Qoc glad to hear you know what is wrong and hopefully you feeling better today.

Bjr also glad to hear you and dh a bit better.

Ive one really sunburnt ankle after yesterdays adventures hmm

Off to pick up ds and take him to the park with antenatal babies this morning and then cant decide whether to have afternoon at home or take him somewhere else. As DH made v little money last month im paying everything this month and so am trying to watch pennies but have this growing urge to go shopping hmm must resist...must resist

OctopusWrangler Sun 09-Jun-13 17:28:18

Rough week. Ready for a fresh one to start. Onwards?

OiMissus Sun 09-Jun-13 19:31:58

And upwards!
I loved Les Mis! I even loved crying. I know the story is not the happiest, I mean, the clue is in the title, but I just loved it!
I am also loving Scotland, sunshine, and wine. Well, I might as well whilst I'm on holiday and having a clear out... Will start the teetotality and healthy living when we get home.
QoC - what a week. A form of autism? Really? I don't know how I feel about that. Do you? At one side, I'm sure it's good that you know, you can get help and advice on how to work with it, but on the other side, I'd hate for anyone to put a label on BOi that would limit others' expectations of him.
Hope you're feeling better after your ordeal too. All in all, a very dramatic week for you. hmm
Hope you have all enjoyed the wonderful sunshine. grin

We've had a lovely weekend; met up with friends yesterday, and today we did DS' half-year birthday smile! Given the proximity of his actual birthday to Xmas, and the piles of presents he received, we kept half back to do a mid-year birthday.
So it was lots of new toys, home-made pizza for lunch, and a bath (his favourite thing). We would have gone to the park if we'd not run out time and it hadn't been so grey and cold hmm in the SE in June...

Glad you're feeling OK-ish Oi, and roll on the next month.

Now Queenie, have you been overdoing it on the house-cleaning front?! (Was cleaning the shower and thought of you smile) But seriously, what a few weeks. Really hope they can get the infection under control, and you start to improve. Hope they're taking good care of you now you're home. I'm glad there's a diagnosis for Darcie, it can be the not-knowing, or waiting, that's the worst- once you know what you're dealing with you can start to tackle it.

No more viewings this weekend sad...

QueenofClean Sun 09-Jun-13 21:02:18

Oi - in a way I always knew but glad the CAMHs team agree. So I think it's more of a relief rather than a shock as deep down I already knew. It's not going to limit her having a label as it were. She is still a popular girl and we are getting some great tips on how to deal with her meltdowns.
Ps glad your enjoying your hols and I've never seen Les mis!

Northern - now you mention it I have had a brilliant clean out of the downstairs in my house. Given the conservatory a good clear & clean out so all sparkly and the girls & I have our own little den...DH sits in the lounge - which has also been cleaned!

Sodding infections & sodding Asthma. It was actually a little scary yesterday being put into an ambulance and being connected to monitor and hearing talk that my vitals were indicating and MI (heart attack) or PE (Pulmonary Embolism) sad still feel like my lungs are heavy although pains have pretty much stopped.

Aethelfleda Sun 09-Jun-13 23:23:54

queenie get to your GP for an asthma checkup in the next day or so if you can, even if you feel OK. You may still have a dropped peak flow and need step up treatment. Very glad D has a diagnosis, at least this may make it easier to get help if it's needed for her in future (eg statements for school) and it sounds like you're managing really well with her.

oi make sure you POAS again and if it's not negative ring your GP to get a early preg unit scan, will tell you for sure that things have all cleared out OK and ensure you've not MCd a twin (which occurs occasionally). Do you still feel at all pg?

<sends good luck for next week to Octo along with sleepy vibes for Octoboy>

<prods Northern's EA to get a wriggle on and get more viewings>. any news from you Cheung with your house?

Had a lovely weekend away with my DBro and friends. Had my first full nights' sleep in aaaages (DS and DD2 take it in turns to disturb us once a night most nights, and with the early wakes from DS and my inability to get to bed early, I hardly ever get my target 8 hours nowadays)....

dH did sterling work with the kiddies, and it almost made up for the two hours i spent nitcombing everyone this evening. Still removing eggs <boak> and the occasional straggler nit, but it's not too bad, we will win this war!! <channels Winston Churchill>

QueenofClean Mon 10-Jun-13 06:45:24

Aethel what's the step up in treatment tho? My lungs still feel heavy and just pottering slowly yesterday made me breathless and tired sad got a good few pillows tucked under me at bedtimes to help keep my airways open sad

Nit-combing happens every other night here...more so when you know they are going around at school...to catch anything before it gets comfy!

QueenofClean Mon 10-Jun-13 06:48:40

Aethel - regarding Darcie - thanks but can't get her statemented as CAMHS won't pull her for full assessment as she's only on mild end of scale & their criteria and funding only covers those who have severe problems. She's doing well in school tho...not going to worry about her going to high school just yet.

Aethelfleda Mon 10-Jun-13 07:07:20

Hi queenie, well, by step-up I mean either adding in am extra inhaler or oral steroids, you shouldn't be breathless on minimal exercise and it's really common for mums to under-treat their asthma! So get a check if you can xxx

I get that if D is ok now she won't need a statement but it's gopd to havethe diagnosos in your back pocket in case there are issues in future....

<brews up coffee for the thread. Mug?>

QueenofClean Mon 10-Jun-13 07:40:51

Ok thanks will call my GP this morning. As don't fancy blue-lights to QA again - scary stuff that is.

<slowly stretches arm out for a brew>

OiMissus Mon 10-Jun-13 08:11:14

Cheers for the brew.much needed!
BOi woke screaming at around midnight, and was totally inconsolable for aaaaaages. Don't know if it was night terrors(?), but there seemed to be nothing else wrong. In the calmer moments, he wasn't interested in Teetha or any other forms of help. He stayed in our room for the rest of the night.
I don't feel pregnant any more. Isn't it odd? One minute I was totally dippy and knocking drinks over at every opportunity, and quite highly strung. The next I am completely normal again.
The bleeding is calming down now.
Funny you mention twins, one quite bonkers part of me was hoping for twins. grin

QueenofClean Mon 10-Jun-13 11:41:48

Oi hope BOi got back to sleep okay.
Are you going to take another test?!

Been back to docs - got told off - got steroids & steroid inhaler. Been told not to go to Basingstoke tomorrow - the course I was due to go to. Got to go back on weds morning.

Figgygal Mon 10-Jun-13 12:38:42

Greetings all from a not very sunny southampton 4 hour round trip for an hours meeting....but at least it has got me out of Zumba tonight by the time i get home.

Oi i never felt PG with DS or in May and despite the fact i had 2 weeks of bleeding and now have had 2 negative PG tests am still waiting for my period to come before i will be convinced i am not pg anymore (crazy much i think the pg tests should have been enough).

God i have eaten all of my lunch already and am still hungry this is what happens when dont eat breakfast before i leave home!!

Hope you all having a nice day!!

Not sure if you hanging around seven but saw on FB lo didnt sleep well last night gosh am so far past the newborn stage i wouldnt know what to do again!! How are all our other PG ladies getting on? GBT, Kat, Xiao?? apologies if there are any others.

CheungFun Mon 10-Jun-13 14:08:38

Hi everyone,

Sorry to hear your news Oi hope you're doing okay.

Northern we talked about a half year birthday....might do it in a few years as it was a bit crazy last year on the presents!

Queen hope you're feeling a bit better now.

Aethel we've had 7 viewings so far, and another tonight (eek! Ive got to do the showing around with DS in tow!) so wish us luck smile The people who own the 3 bed house that we've put the offer in have found a house, so all just waiting for us to find a buyer. It's only been 6 days so far, so hoping they will be patient and it all works out. I'm trying my best not to think about any of it!

I've just had a tidy up, will do the hoovering when DS wakes up and hang the asking outside. Just trying to revise for my theory test now....argh!

elQuintoConyo Mon 10-Jun-13 14:09:36

Hello everyone, I'm not new to MN but my DS was born Dec '11 and I'd like to join the group, if that's ok?
I live abroad and they aren't really into postnatal groups here so, bar friends, I feel a bit isolated. I'm a sahm and we get out to the park every day, or to town on the bus and a run around. DS will start nursey/playgroup (whatever UK equivalent is) in September, so at the moment he's with us and it's driving me a bit loopy

I bring brew and thanks

QueenofClean Mon 10-Jun-13 15:07:07

Welcome ElQuinto - your def welcome if you bring brew wine thanks & haddocks & swordfish for the freezer lol.

OiMissus Mon 10-Jun-13 16:45:36

Good luck with the viewings Cheung.
DH's house has been up for sale since feb, we've had quite a few viewings, but no second viewings or offers yet. Maybe it's time to drop the price...
Figgy - did you see a dr after your mc? I will POAS again, once the bleeding has passed. And will do whatever aethel says. smile - our super guide to all things medical.
Southampton? Get thee up tae Scotland fae fine weather. Nae bother.

OiMissus Mon 10-Jun-13 16:49:38

Welcome ElQuinto! You're very welcome to join us. Where are you? Can you say? Will it make us all very jealous? wink

QueenofClean Mon 10-Jun-13 17:07:16

Oi I'm in neighbouring town of Portsmouth to Southampton and weather is nice smile

Hiya everyone, greetings from sunny Derbyshire. We're near Bakewell for a week in a lovely cottage that forms part of a farm conversion complete with heated pool and childrens play area.

We went to Chatsworth farm and playground yesterday which I thoroughly recommend to anyone up this way.

32+4 today which gives me approx 50 days to actually finish the decorating/wash all the baby clothes/locate the moses basket etc etc. It'll be fine. Won't it? wink

And yes, I still managed the full postal delivery on wed and Thurs of last week. cos I'm an idiot and could see we were short staffed grin

Figgygal Mon 10-Jun-13 18:02:45

Welcome elquinto join us grin

Oi didn't see a dr I figured the negative pg tests were clear enough but have that irrational denial going on grin

My mum throwing DS a half bday BBQ when up in Scotland next month as with a 22/12 bday its likely she won't see him most bdays.

OiMissus Mon 10-Jun-13 18:35:56

BOi is 18 months old today.
More like 18 years, and 18 stones. grin

Hah! My back knows exactly where you're coming from Oi <winces>
Glad some others are doing half year birthdays; can't believe that our little group of waddling preggers types is now discussing our toddlers confused. The BBQ sounds awesome figgy.

Speaking of which, it's mine and DP's ten year anniversary next month, and our favourite local up North is having its Beer Festival, plus it has boutique-y type rooms, so we're booked in for a night and DS is off to his Aunties, woo grin

And welcome to ElQ, we'll help you stay sane until your DS starts nursery! What's he like; we've all got such strong mental images of each others' DCs, (and Janey's monkey as well now grin) that we need to know.

You're in a lovely part of the world kat, it's my place of origin, and my parents'. Glad to hear you're having a good time, can't believe you're in your third trimester now, where is the time going (again...)?

We're now planning an open day with our house, makes sense as we're away when they're going to hold it, so hopefully that'll help. We're doing another viewing at the weekend, but feel like if we haven't got a buyer by mid-July we might as well give up til September... sad

janey223 Mon 10-Jun-13 21:59:54

Happy half birthday BOi!!

I've thought of celebrating it but thought people would think it was daft hmm Maybe we'll have a mini party then! 28th at my house bring you're own vino!

Monkey is ok today, still think there's something going on with him, GP thinks paed experts from allergy show were talking none sense and nobody will explore the gut of an otherwise healthy toddler and made me feel like an idiot confused his sleep is terrible, always crying/whining and being sick in his sleep is getting more often. He's started putting my hand on his tummy when I ask him what's wrong but I just can't figure out what's going on hmm

Apart from that he's started climbing the ladder to the big slide on his own scaring the hell out of me

GP also wants me to take new anti Ds which upon reading are not good at all for anxiety, this should be fun! Oh, and I've decided to go back to uni!

SevenReasonsToSmile Mon 10-Jun-13 22:28:05

I'm here figgy. I didnt want to post and depress everyone with my moaning.

We've really been struggling here. DH and I have been arguing loads and DD1 is cutting 3 back teeth. DD2 turned from being a chilled happy baby to being really unsettled and generally miserable. We tried her on DD1s lactose free formula which has made a big difference, except its made her constipated, she spent over 3 hours crying and being generally miserable last night. Anyway she had some water and a huge poo this morning and has been fine since. Plus DHs boss gave him a £100 bonus for doing extra hours while they were away (he worked 51 hours last week) on the condition we have a takeaway and treat the DCs rather than spend it on bills.

OiMissus Tue 11-Jun-13 06:59:23

Sympathies to seven. How's the new little one sleeping now? Hope things have improved.
BOi has been enjoying this holiday far too much. Usually, he's asleep before 7:30 every night. But on this holiday he's rarely gone down before 9pm, and always after a struggle, -and still got up before 7am. I really hope he'll get back into his normal routine when we get home.
It's DH's birthday today. He's up with BOi now. I suppose I should go and join them. Yawn.

I'll put a vat of coffee on.
Scottish oatcake/crumpet anyone?

QueenofClean Tue 11-Jun-13 09:43:55

Sympathies seven x

Happy Birthday Mr Oi.

My DH has taken day off work to look after Sky and do school runs etc and still pretty breathless.

janey223 Tue 11-Jun-13 10:14:16

Seven have you considered colief? It breaks down the lactose for them

elQuintoConyo Tue 11-Jun-13 10:21:44

Thanks for the warm welcome smile
I'm an hour south of Barcelona, weather's been rubbish sad but we can still get outside a lot.
DS just had his 18month check up, all's well. They asked if he can walk backwards, say some words, identify different animals and parts of the body.... erm, yes to the first two, he says 'woof woof' if it's a dog/cat/horse/snail/ant; we panicked about parts of the body so spent all afternoon an hour going through some, which he picked up easily. Panic over!
He's a livewire, doesn't understand 'no', won't sit still for five minutes,constantly being chased which is great fun!
He likes knots and bananas, hates seesaws and food that's green or red!
We just went on our first holiday, just four days in Valencia by car, he loved it and has started sleeping through the night- bonus!

I'm sure I'll get to know you all and your los in no time smile

mopsytop Tue 11-Jun-13 10:24:06

ugh I feel your pain Oi. Since we got here, Minimopsy has objected vociferously to going down at night and woken at 5-5.15 every morning. <massive sleepy sigh>. Weather was fab every day until today and our plane is at 2. I timed it perfectly it seems! Looking forward to getting back and seeing Mr. Mopsy now. Minim has lots of new words since she saw him: cat, dog, woof woof, ball, Ga (for granny), papa (for her grandad) and she has said 'open the door'! And she also says 'now' copying me which is very amusing, cos I say for example 'now, let's get your shoes on' or 'now, let's put you in your high chair' and she's started mimicking me. She's also saying no very firmly, shaking her head and wagging her finger.

Queen, hope you're feeling better.

Northern hope you get an offer from the open house. We are currently sans kitchen. Well oven, fridge, sink etc there, just no cupboards! New one going in in early July.

Hope everyone else doing well. Will catch up properly when I'm back.

HopALongMcLimpyLegs Tue 11-Jun-13 10:57:47

Oi glad you're having a good time in Scotland, you have lucked out on the weather! Sorry about the MC, it's shite and unfair. Happy birthday MyOi.

Boo to babies (are they still babies?) not going down for the night!

Hope you feel better soon Queen.

Hi elQinto, welcome to the thread <passes over some tea>

Not long to go now kat. I am boggling at all these people having second babies already. I think my head would explode if I had to deal with a toddler and a newborn.

We've had a very odd week. I was at my mum's last weekend and early last week while my dad and DH fitted our new kitchen into the old Kitchen From Hell. Came back mid week and it's just been so exhausting trying to keep DS entertained while the living room and conservatory were full of kitchen and the garden was half filled with lethal drills and saws etc. It was finally 'finished' yesterday and my dad has gone home and my house is almost back to normal. Except we still need to put the kick boards in, put up the new light fitting, touch up the paintwork and scrub the new floor. Oh, and put the contents of the kitchen back in. And where is DH now? Away with work until Friday.

I'm having a bit of an issue that I need advice on; DS has always been a bit of a biter. It doesn't seem aggressive, but we've tried to be consistent and put him down/move him away and say 'no biting' when he does it. Recently it just doesn't work and he just laughs at us when we tell him no, and he now deliberately hits and pinches and sometimes kicks me/DH and again thinks it's funny when he gets told no and moved away. I have no idea what else to try, don't want to smack him as this seems totally illogical and it's not something I would like to do, but when he has bitten, scratched, hit and pinched me a dozen times I seriously have to sit on my hands it makes me so cross! I have noticed it seems to mostly be just before bed, and I think he has a half hour where he gets a bit giddy because he's tired. But he goes to bed at half six so we can't really move bedtime an early. That combined with the tantrums over the tiniest little thing are pulling on my last over-tired nerve this week. He threw a tantrum because I wouldn't let him rip up a CD case yesterday and I found myself just saying out loud 'oh stop it C, no one wants to play with a dramallama' sad which is just not a nice thing to say really, is it? Urgh. Toddlers are HARD.

Aethelfleda Tue 11-Jun-13 13:07:53

Hopalong you sound like you're coping pretty well with it; toddlers react best to attention (wheter it's positive or negative) so I'd suggest making biting the most booooring thing ever. dD1 ha a phase where she liked being told "no!" loudly, so she'd do something she knew was wrong and then giggle. We realised that just stopping talking, looking blank and wordlessly turning away for a few seconds was far more effective. I do similar now when DS shrieks loudly: he's not getting "rewarded" for busting my eardrums, and a good set of mummy fireworks counts as a reward of sorts!!
Yep, toddlers are a challenge all right... seven, the babies are communicating again, DS is super clingy as 3 molars all coming through together here too!

<makes extra tea, hands round the hobnobs, and tastefully arranges elQuinto's flowers in a pint mug>

Figgygal Tue 11-Jun-13 13:31:20

Hop it is so hard isnt it DH keeps getting annoyed at DS as he is so whiney at the moment not being allowed something he wants immediately results in whining, high pitched shrieking or "mummeeee" mummeeeeeeeeee being yelled incontrolably.

HopALongMcLimpyLegs Tue 11-Jun-13 13:35:07

I might try just ignoring it and moving away when he does it. He does it when I don't give him attention as quickly as he wants too, so I'll have to figure that one out. Maybe just a bored sounding 'no biting/hitting' and walking away or moving away might work?

HopALongMcLimpyLegs Tue 11-Jun-13 13:38:10

cross post figgy DH is the same, gets fed up of the whining/hitting/strops and then gets really angry or shouty and I'm just like mustnotbackseatparentmustnotbackseatparent over and over in my head while wanting to say 'well, your shouting is really helping right now, clearly!' The absolute worst bit is that daddy is the best person in the whole wide world. While we were away DS was walking from room to room, opening all the doors and going "daddy? DADA? 'ehes dada?" When I go to get him up in the morning he cries and flails around all hysterical, when DH goes in? Happy as a clam.

SevenReasonsToSmile Tue 11-Jun-13 15:38:47

oi she's sleeping much better now thanks, only had one feed last night and done it in 30 minutes.

janey does if break down all the lactose or just some? And how long does it last? I saw it in the chemist but its £12. I can get the lacto-free formula on prescription but its a pain I can't get ready made cartons for when we're out.

TMI but I'm after opinions on bleeding. I stopped post-birth bleeding over 3 weeks ago, but had very light bleeding for the last two days. Nowhere near heavy enough for a period, any ideas?

hop hope you find something that works soon. I never understand the logic of smacking, how does that teach them its not acceptable to hit others exactly?

janey223 Tue 11-Jun-13 21:03:11

Seven you can get colief on prescription, monkey had it when he was temp lactose intolerant (he's on a prescription formula for milk allergy but it has lactose in it). It breaks down the lactose by using the enzyme our stomachs use to do it and turns it into the next stage of sugar so they can process it. It's obviously more of a pain (you need to preprepare it) but if she's constipated on the new formula worth trying maybe?

Hop I walk away/ignore whining and tantrums. Luckily he's only hit me a few times but he gets told no and I put him down/walk away. He gets quiet time if he's being naughty, will introduce time out if I need to but at the moment he's just whingy and tantruming all over the place. IMO both parents need to be on the same page with discipline or it doesn't work.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Wed 12-Jun-13 09:21:46

Right, last night I just ignored the hitting and biting except to say 'no biting/hitting' in a bored way and just move on to doing something else. Seemed to work better than focussing on it! So thanks for the advice everyone! Will chat to DH about it when he's home and get him onboard. He did throw an epic tantrum as soon as we walked in the door but I don't think he even knew why he was screaming and throwing himself around, so probably just over tired. Managed to snap him out of it my taking off his shoes and sniffing his toes and saying they were pongy. He laughed and that was the tantrum over. Rest of the night was great, he was funny and cute and went to bed like a gem. Woke up at five for a quick cuddle then back to sleep till gone six.

Got an email yesterday to remind me that I signed up for a Roller Derby course that starts next Sunday. If I post that I've broken both my arms on Monday, you'll know why.

Sorry you're having milk issues Seven hope it gets sorted soon.

Figgygal Wed 12-Jun-13 12:49:06

Hop what is it with boys and their feet? We do the whole "poo your feet smell" game and he thinks it's hilarious!! grin

We don't have the smelly feet thing, but we do also have occasional biting and throwing.
The throwing of the spoon I persisted with him, passing it back until he gave it to me not stubborn at all me, nooo, where can DS get it and this morning was rewarded by him actually giving it to me!!

However I did get a small train lobbed in my face when doing the nappy change, sigh...

It's a pain isn't it hop, and definitely just an over tired thing. Most of the stuff we've ignored and it's gone away, the shrieking, the tantrums when our cereal was finished, etc, I was just damn certain I was going to win the Battle of the Spoon!

I'm jealous of your weather mopsy, it's been so grey and miserable here in the SE, the heating keeps kicking on and I'm not having to worry about watering the garden. In sodding June angry

OiMissus Wed 12-Jun-13 19:50:52

He he! We do pongy feet here too.
We're back home after a lovely little holiday.
The house survived, our veggies are getting huge! Unfortunately, the little wild rabbit we often see was lying dead in the garden. hmm Not nice. Poor baby.
Oh and I'm an auntie again. grin To a bouncing 9lb 9ozer! Freddie. (A miracle, considering mum weighed only 10 stone at the end of the pg, and was still smoking!) can't wait to meet him, and will have to visit mnp's for lovely gifts. grin

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Wed 12-Jun-13 20:31:26

Congrats on baby Freddie, 9lb 9oz? Bruiser baby!

Wow, that's a nice chunky weight especially considering Mum's healthy habits!
Indulge your shopping-lust, but it's by proxy (sort of) so doesn't count grin

Aethelfleda Wed 12-Jun-13 22:25:32

Evening girls...

<hands around hot chocolates and decaf coffee for a stress-free night all around>

Just to say that sprinkle-decorated choc crispy cakes are the best home baking fun ever. Yum.

And congrats to your SIL/DSis, oi that sounds eye watering, I thought 8lb 11 was enormous remember to POAS just to be sure (((hug)))

Aethelfleda Wed 12-Jun-13 22:30:19

(oops, sorry oi, that came out wrong but am on phone so it posted instead of previewed. Darned contraptions).

Have found a quality freebie-film-channel on our internet-enabled Blu-ray player: we're watching a 1956 B-movie called "Earth vs the Flying Saucers". It's priceless...

Aethelfleda Thu 13-Jun-13 10:41:34


all four molars are through!

<slinks off to get more coffee>

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Thu 13-Jun-13 10:57:01

I'm so tired I think I might vomit. DH isn't back until tomorrow night. I'm not getting out of bed on Saturday.

DS has been adorable, though he threw a giant fir yesterday when I didn't want him to sit on my knee while I was on the loo. When he had finished the hystronics and was undressed ready for the bath he collapsed against me like an over emotional drunk. 'LOVE ME! EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE!' Can now say 'shower', 'up', 'broke' and his new favourite 'sssshhhhtuck!' which normally means he can't get to something he wants or he's shoved something through the catflap and can't get it back.

<hands pint of coffee to aethel after taking a quick slurp>

What is everyone doing for Father's day? DS has made a card in nursery, but I don't know whether to get him a gift or just bake a cake maybe?

QueenofClean Thu 13-Jun-13 14:43:21

Oi congratulations on birth of Freddie.

Aethel...brilliant news on the molars...Sky has cut 5-6 teeth in last 2 weeks bless her.

Hop - I get nauseous badly when I'm exhausted so sympathies.

I'm signed off till Monday, still feel shattered and my lungs are heavy but not as bad as before. So tidied up and went round with the anti-bac and Hoover. Put some washing on and had in slow cooker since 8:30 a bacon joint in just brown sugar and smells lush...looking forward to eating it later smile however, because I've done all that am really tired and lungs feel really heavy and puffed out!

Just getting ready for school run.

<Preps coffee pumps for our return>

mopsytop Thu 13-Jun-13 19:01:19

Hi all sorry manic couple of days and away with no internet for next two weeks so don't worry if I disappear for a while! I'll find the thread again when I get back. Hope you all have a great two weeks and hope I come back rested and relaxed!

SevenReasonsToSmile Thu 13-Jun-13 19:10:49

Hope you're off somewhere nice mopsy.

aethel I'm very envy of all the molars being through. We don't have any but they're causing a lot of grumpiness.

queen stop doing housework and rest! Hope you feel better soon.

Can't believe DS will be 5 tomorrow, we're off to the zoo. I have to decorate a Big Ben/London themed cake tonight, wish me luck.

OiMissus Thu 13-Jun-13 20:12:28

Good luck with Big Ben!
Hop- well done on the words! As of yesterday I am now "ammy". Whilst I delight at finally having a name (gam-Ma and gampa have had theirs for a while) I know that I will never have peace again. Now he stands at my feet, arms stretched up or dragging at my clothes, saying ammy over and over and over and over...confused

QueenofClean Thu 13-Jun-13 20:45:19

Seven good luck with Big Ben.
I'm resting now the girls are in bed and feel well and truly puffed out sad

Been asked by DH & his work colleagues to make some of my famous Cupcakes & other cakes for him to Take to work on Wednesday as they are holding a charity day for a good cause and they all asked if I could make cakes as they would earn a good few pennies grin so that's made my day that people love my baking.

Darcie's behaviour has been brilliant this week so all the stuff we have put in place over last week or so have been working so fx it keeps improving and working.

Oi aww bless you have a name from BOi now.

It happened a few weeks ago for us...picked Sky up from nursery and she came running in from the garden shouting mummyyyy grin not keen on hearing mummyyyy at night tho! Although not that it happens very often now tho. Sky has been sleeping thru the night for the last 4 weeks so touch wood it carries on. She calls Daddy, Nanny, 'randad too. Most popular is Dar Dar for Darcie smile

Our bacon joint was yummy tonight too.

Off to take my meds and have an early night.

Sounds like we're going to have to stage some sort of intervention and tie Queenie to the sofa for some enforced rest wink Glad you've got your feet up now, but you're forbidden from doing any housework!
It's lovely to hear with the cakes; I've been doing the same with homemade brownies at work, I think it may have helped in the popularity stakes.

How lovely you have a name Oi! But you're right, it's like when they start moving, there'll be no peace now...

Was the film enjoyably god-awful aethel?

How is Octopus, not seen her for a bit and not on FB?

Out of interest, can I ask how 'affectionate' your DCs are? DS will give a kiss on demand, ie 'kiss for Daddy!', and will occasionally sit by you if there's food generally or fall asleep on me on the sofa, but doesn't come spontaneously for hugs or kisses or cuddles.
Is this odd?

QueenofClean Thu 13-Jun-13 21:16:20

Northern - Sky won't give a spontaneous kiss...saying that rarely does she give one if you ask!

Re the housework...I need to clean all the whitework down, need to polish all the upstairs rooms. Bathroom could do with a once over and I have some ironing to do. Also it's this weekend all bed sheets need to be changed.

BJR Thu 13-Jun-13 21:20:51

My DS isn't particularly affectionate Northern, only time he does spontaneous cuddles is if someone hides from him then he gives massive cuddles when he finds them. Will only sit on laps if he's being read to. He often kisses himself in the mirror though grin

So at what age will it start to be considered helicopter parenting if I keep following DS round the park? He can climb everything but then will walk straight off the end/throw himself headfirst down the slide no matter how high, so I'm always in grabbing distance. Started to notice not everyone with similar sized kids is doing this though.

GaryBuseysTeeth Thu 13-Jun-13 21:30:57

<waves> at elQuinto, a late 'hello' & welcome! We have a seesaw hating DS too.

Oi, hurrah for being a 'ammy'! and congrats on being an Auntie again! Although the thought of 9lb 90z makes my bits hurt..
Sorry to hear about your mc, hope everything is back to normal (physically) & you're 'ok'.

Northen, I get the occasional pat on the back or spontaneous Glasgow Kiss from DS but most of the time he doesn't like people touching/holding/looking at him unless you beg ask him for 'kisskiss' or hugs, so you're not alone...he does like to snuggle up under an arm to watch tv, and woe betide me if I attempt to look my phone/pc whilst he's around. Needy little thing (on his terms) grin
Octopus seems to be doing ok, although it sounds like all her DC are being rather testing this week (if you're lurking Octo <muchcoffee> for you).

No real words here (we have a few almost words for things like bunny, tv, cat etc) but he's doing alright aside from that...all teeth through, starting to properly enjoy playing & copies any/everything we do (coughing, trying to whistle etc).
Still brewing DC2, had a day of reduced movements last week but everything normal since then, breech but them I'm 32wks on Saturday so time to turn.

Queenie, glad to hear all is going well with Darcie, hope you're right as rain soon...scary sounding trip last week!

Good luck with cake/zoo Seven, and happy birthday to your DS for tomorrow.

For Fathers Day, DS & I decorated a (shop bought!) card, got him a few little gifts. I'm not 'in to' Fathers/Mothers/Valentines/Birthday etc but it really means something to sentimental old DH so I had DS do his first proper scribble & we'll give that to him. Mucho Brownie Points for me grin

Aethel, I love 50s B Movies (and crappy Hammer horrors!), hope you enjoyed Earth Vs Flying Saucers...watching the original The Thing a few weeks back, awesome.

Enjoy your two internet-less weeks mopsy!

<waves> at everyone else!

mopsytop Thu 13-Jun-13 21:43:12

Gosh sorry el Quinto I don't think I said hello and welcome. Bad me.

Northern, Minimopsy is pretty stingy with kisses and cuddles. She pats my back occasionally which is v cute but only gave me my first kiss and cuddle spontaneously last week. She had been in cot bawling and I laid her on the bed beside me and she just looked right St me smiling and then started kissing and hugging me. Sooooo lovely! Before she's only kissed/hugged as a response to being hugged if you see what I mean!

Queen feel better soon.

Right over and out. See you in two weeks!

SevenReasonsToSmile Fri 14-Jun-13 00:54:02

DD1 said Beatrice today, very cute! She seems to be gaining new words every day at the moment. Others include shoes, juice, door, baby, daddy, mama, bottle, bear and chicken. She says oof for a dog but all other animals roar. She hardly ever gives kisses except to DD2 who gets around 50 a day (I'm not joking), but loves cuddles, by which I mean shrieking in front of me with her arms up then going rigid so I can't put her down again, mostly when I'm in the kitchen hmm.

GBT can't believe you're 32 weeks already!

BJR Fri 14-Jun-13 07:27:30

Aww seven so cute that dd1 has learnt her baby sisters name alreadysmile

DS is playing with his farm this morning and seems to be trying to sing old MacDonald, I keep hearing e i e i o with the odd moo thrown in, it sounds so funny. Sitting giggling to myself while I drink tea!

Figgygal Fri 14-Jun-13 08:58:18

Wow I feel crap today tooth pain has now developed into jaw pain as well as something sinusey or cold in my face, shallow breathing and nausea and tightness in my chest but as dh currently crippled with gout in his knee looks like I'm on boy duty anyway not sure swimming happening today though.

DS still not talking much here he does all his animal noises with enthusiasm though grin

<Dons ninja gear>

<Kidnaps Queenie>

<Locks her in luxury spa for the weekend>

Glad to hear that DS isn't unusual in his stingy approach to the kisses then! grin My Mum thinks it's so odd, given I'm the most tactile person going. I suppose he's very, um, interactive, just not affectionate, and I just didn't know at what age they really started to to this!

BJR, I don't think you're helicoptering at all. DP and I hover simultaneously, as our beloved witless midget will always clamber and hurl. It makes a trip to the park a real test of the nerves confused

Mind you, as we signed the accident book for the third time this week- nosebleed following an altercation with a piggy bank, sigh- I cursed us by saying I was amazed we'd not been to A&E yet....

That's sounds really grim btw figgy, trip to the emergency dentists I'd say- can anyone look after DS given the state your DH is in?

I am shattered after this week, am having the traditional vod'n'coke for Friday. DS has been great, getting up at half six all week bar today, when it was 5... and guess who'd not left work til 7 and it was their turn to get up?

What are the Fathers' Day plans?

QueenofClean Fri 14-Jun-13 20:23:44

Gary - 32 weeks already - how time flies!

Seven - how sweet DD1 can say Beatrice.

We helicopter sort of, ESP as Sky seems to think she is a dare devil, standing on rocking everything seeing if she can keep her balance.

Figgy hope you feel better really soon.

Northern enjoy your Vodka n coke!

I only hoovered and polished everywhere and cleaned all surfaces in kitchen. Nipped to supermarket and change DH jeans he brought as too big round waist and then picked up replacement glade air freshners (the stick ones) and replaced them indoors, put some washing on. Done nursery run at 1pm and school run at 3pm and tbh am shattered now.

Sky in bed thanks to daddy smile and Darcie staying at Nanny's. so bath, chill and take tabs then sleep.

Figgygal Fri 14-Jun-13 20:55:43

Have got sinusitis so am overdosing on the decongestants grin strangely tooth is better. Managed to drive car into a fence today really shouldnt have driven today!!

QueenofClean Fri 14-Jun-13 21:09:44

Oh dear Figgy....poor fence lol wink

Xiaoxiong Fri 14-Jun-13 21:40:51

<surfaces, waves>

Hello all, I am here lurking, I hope you are all well and hugs especially to Oi, really sorry to hear about the MC.

It's been madness over here, our nanny has gone off on mat leave and we are all bereft. In the last few weeks I have been asking people for their money (LOTS of money) which is alarming at first but fun. No one has actually given us any money yet but they will, I have no doubt about it grin In Paris for the day last week and it was 34c in the shade(!), Madrid next week, Zurich and Geneva the week after, Dubai sometime in July if I can still fly by then otherwise I'll have to participate by conference call.

Also I swear either my dates are wrong or DC2 is a monster baby. I'm only 24 weeks and I am huge. I am sitting here watching my bump contort and heave with tiny feet dancing a fandango on my bladder and fists in my ribs, the way DS did when he was more like 34 weeks. And yet the pregnancy calculator says the baby should be about the size of a mango?! Maybe a radioactive mutant mega-mango...

And Father's Day, when was that announced, I missed the memo...I think I will get a card for DS to scribble tomorrow and artistically decorate the front with stickers. I know DH will want a lie-in more than any present, so I will keep DS quiet till mid-morning and then send him in with the card to bounce on DH's head.

Oh and we have now become THOSE parents - we went to the school's annual under-6 tea party hosted by the headmaster's wife on Weds. 2 hours before the party DH and I looked more closely at the invite and realised it was fancy dress - insect theme. We had no craft materials on hand except silver duct tape, so we dressed him all in black, covered his wellies and a hat in tin foil and taped a tangle of computer wires to his back with under a big rectangular computer chip made of tape, then wrote "Y2K" on his back in sharpie - he was the millennium bug. I had to explain it about a million times as he played with other kids dressd as adorable ladybugs, butterflies, bees and spiders...and then the other parents would back away slowly...

Xiaoxiong Fri 14-Jun-13 21:41:37

OMG figgy x posted with you! Hope you and the car came off better than the fence??

QueenofClean Sat 15-Jun-13 08:03:30

Xiao - love your last minute bug dress up. I would never if thought of that.

Didn't sleep well last night sad my lungs feel really heavy this morning...must of done to much yesterday...sodding lungs. Got a wedding reception tonight too.

Hope everyone has a good day.. The sun is out so fx it stays that way.

OiMissus Sat 15-Jun-13 08:38:30

Queenie - put your effing feet up and DO NOTHING today until its time for a pre-party soak in the tub. Then get dar dar to run it for you. smile
Xiao - y2k- brilliant. You're the kinda parents I'd make friends with! All these ready made fancy dresses spoil it for everyone!
And mega mango baby is -16weeks already?! Wow!
Gbt- 32 weeks! Has this pg flown by for you too? (From here, it's been really fast!)
Northern - BOi is very affectionate. He kisses everything. His football was the main recipient last night. But I get kisses every day. From a v young age, me n BOi have had our own "Eskimo kisses" too, where we have lots of fun rubbing noses. grin
Bjr- I do not consider myself a helicopter parent ( unlike DH!) but I do stick with him at playgrounds. He isn't big enough yet to master big steps in slides (for example) without having a hand to catch him or guide him. I do try and let him figure out as much as poss by himself. He's fearless, and I don't want to influence /change that.
And BOi sings too. He just starts up spontaneously and sings away. It is the most gorgeous thing. But he always stops when the video cam comes out. Sneaky little urchin!
Got a full on wkend ahead, f's day, newborn visit, 1st bday party, northern home show (must visit!), and lots of shoppi to do, and I still gavent got DH a present for his birthday last week. Am bad.
He'll be left wanting for f day too. I have a card, and a bought present, bit nothing personal. BOi made some stuff at nursery though. Not seen it yet. Must go and see...

QueenofClean Sat 15-Jun-13 09:35:02

Oi you'll have to be a little more sneaky about capturing BOi singing wink

Can't really relax today as Dar Dar got swimming and singing!

Telling myself my lungs hurt because they are getting better optimistic hmm

For FD the girls have got daddy a photo frame with a photo of themselves in. Some marvel shower gel. Home made cards. Darcie brought him a worlds best daddy medal and bar of chocolate and we are going out for dinner tomorrow afternoon as our local hungry horse has a Father's Day special - dads eat for free after 3pm. grin

Figgygal Sat 15-Jun-13 09:57:11

Dh is just getting a card here feel a bit miserable about that now but too late to do anything else.

Visiting PIL lunchtime after DS gets his haircut hopefully will go better than last time when he wailed the whole time, cake with neighbours this afternoon then another early night I expect .......rock and roll!!

OiMissus Sat 15-Jun-13 12:44:22

Ali had his hair cut yesterday. Screamed the whole time. hmm

Xiaoxiong Sat 15-Jun-13 23:02:41

Yeah, DS also needs his hair cut - by a professional this time (we are still scarred by the memory of the Cadfael hatchet job we did on him). But I am keeping very quiet till the summer holidays when DH can take him, since I know he will scream like a banshee just like Ali and Figgyboy.

Ok question. DH says he will start potty training DS in July. I think he is absolutely categorically barking to try now. The problem is that when you look at the list on the Mumsnet potty training site, DS does appear to meet all the criteria of being "ready"...but that can't be right, he'll just be 19 months!!

It won't do DS any harm to try and fail too early, right - just a lot of washing, cleaning and frustration for DH?

OiMissus Sat 15-Jun-13 23:20:44

I obviously have no experience of this, but it potentially could have a negative effect, I guess, if he gets upset about it - and then has negative associations... Perhaps? I dunno...

In other news, I didn't get to the home show today. Instead we spent 2hrs looking at TVs... And then I bought one. For a ridiculous amount of money. But the picture quality is outstanding. And it's very fancy.
But we don't watch much tv.
And then we visited the new nephew.
Then went to ikea to buy a table to put the new tv on. (The current one sits on a basket...)

QueenofClean Sun 16-Jun-13 03:51:58

Xiao we are looking to potty train Sky soon. Darcie was potty trained by night and day by age of 2 and only took a week to get dry. So hoping it will be same with Sky. She seems ready and so has a Minnie Mouse musical potty and will be getting some pull ups tomorrow too. Not doing it seriously but she knows to sit on potty if she thinks she needs to go smile so only a matter of time.

Went to a friends wedding last night - just me & Darcie as DH stayed at home with Sky as she teething badly. Darcie rocked with all get dancing smile must sleep now. Nite y'all

BJR Sun 16-Jun-13 07:45:47

wow potty training! Well I guess if DS seems ready and your DH wants to give it a go ... I think I'm aiming for next summer. But DS doesn't do sitting still yet so we would be mad to try. We have a potty so he gets used to seeing it in the bathroom, he thinks its a hat hmm

Struggling a bit with DSS at the moment, he gets annoyed if he isn't allowed to do the same as DS. So if DS is up at half 5 then he wants to, I get DS to help pack toys away but in reality its mostly me doing it, whereas I expect DSS to be able to pick his own toys up etc etc.

This morning DS managed to cover himself and cot in poo at 6am, trying to clean everything up and DSS gets up wants to watch, giggle and comment on how disgusting it is, resulting in DS screaming as he wants to go play with him. Asked DSS to go play in his room for half an hour so I can get things cleared up, apparently this was a terribly unfair request. Surely at 10 he's old enough to understand there is a difference between him and a one year old?

OK rant over off to drink tea!

Aethelfleda Sun 16-Jun-13 08:13:58

<steaming pint of tea for BJR and sardine for DSS>

sympathy, maybe DSS is just feeling a bit attention deprived (it's natural for all kids to do this) it's not that you are Actually depriving him at all, but at ten he is too underdeveloped emotionally to be logical, most kids are still acting reflexively rather than considering other's emotions.

Hope the wedding thingy went well queenie, take care.

Potties? Well, we have obtained one, but I have no intention of it being anything other than a plaything for now. It lives near the change station and I plonk DS on it with a bare bum during changes sometimes . If he looks like he's miming a pee/poo on there, applause. If not then fine. May train him when he shows more affinity for the loo than chucking toys in it. xiao it's nt really bad for kids to have several goes, the important thing is knowing when to give up!.... So give it a try if DH wants to and if it's apparent at day five that nowt is happening, give up and wait three-four months then try again.

BJR Sun 16-Jun-13 08:25:05

Thanks aethel, I have had tea now and feeling more reasonablesmile You're right about feeling a bit attention deprived though, DP has had to work on the weekends last couple of weeks I've had both boys so have been making an effort to do things one to one with him while DS naps but its not really me he wants attention from. Must poke DP to take him out for the day as they haven't had time just the two of them in a while.

Figgygal Sun 16-Jun-13 08:48:07

Gosh ds doesnt stay still at all and we still doing nappy changes stood up as he refuses to co-operate so no potty training here for a long time!! We have. Potty its in the loft must get it out for him to see it.

Haircut went ok the key was a bag of mini gingerbread men biscuits between sad looks, he looks less gollom like at least grin my friend has a little boy who turned 1 yesterday and he has crazy hair some of it is straight some curly and some of it is matted she thinks its adorable but he looks a state cant bare to tell her though.

What are you all doing about milk these days? Ds has 120ml/4oz morning and night STILL in his bottle tried in a cup again this morning he took one sip then wailed at me until i put in a bottle. Was thinking of dropping AM bottle all together but when he wakes before 6.30he often goes back down with a bottle (bad for his teeth i know) so think it might confuse him. This morning he woke up at 8.30 longest straight thru sleep ever which was good as dh had me up half the night due to leg pain. Suppose had better get his card written before he gets up and look out the emergency chocolate orange i got him grin might take ds softplay in a bit they've redone our local 1s toddler area with a new level built up and dont think dh will be going far today.

QueenofClean Sun 16-Jun-13 11:05:01

Wedding went well paying for it now tho. Feel awful like I'm dragging my lungs behind me sad

Fathers Day morning has been ruined as DH had a massive row and our marriage is on the line sad got banging headache now. Another shit week ahead for me.

Wondering if I need some more steroids tho considering my lungs still feel the same! Not sure.

Xiaoxiong Sun 16-Jun-13 11:20:11

Oh no queen sad - really sorry to hear that, I hope you and DH can sort it out today to start the week off better. (((hugs))) for you and a listening ear if you ever want to talk about it. Good to know it is possible to potty train a kid before the age of 2 (amazing Darcie!).

I think I will just keep my beak out for now, keep an eye on DH's attempts and if nothing's doing by day 5, gently suggest we wait a while longer.

figgy DS has 250ml whole milk in a bottle at nap time and then again at bedtime. He doesn't always finish all of it though and we do brush teeth twice a day...I know we need to get him off the bottles though. He also has a breastfeed first thing in the morning when he comes in with us, and usually mid-afternoon as well, but not that much, it's more for the cuddles these days than really drinking properly.

Oi wow, new TV! What are you going to watch first? I bet Game of Thrones would look lush on a big TV, we've been watching it on crappy downloads and it looks pretty good even then.

BJR brew for you - we've had to switch to popper nappies because DS is so keen at undoing anything with velcro. Hope DP and DSS have a good day with lots of attention lavished on each other smile

QueenofClean Sun 16-Jun-13 11:44:51

Thanks Xiao. I'm sure we will be fine just things have not been right for a while but mainly because we are trying to get to grips with being consistent with Darcie but DH just thinks I'm being controlling and letting Darcie manipulate me sad

Doesn't help as I'm not well with my poxy chest and Sky is teething badly so tiredness and grumpiness all round.

Had Darcie cracked by 2 but she was very ready - I think it's the OCD in her for being clean not something she gets from her mother wink

Figgy Sky still has to have 16-20oz formula a day purely because of being CMPA which tbh is a pain but needs must and all.

Figgygal Sun 16-Jun-13 14:12:29

qoc your husband really needs to get with it over darcie u keep ending up in this position and it's unfair on all of you.

Also have tv jealousy and agree about GOT I have to watch it on my iPad through my parents sky go account as we have virgin not sky and do no sky Atlantic.

Went to softplay dh came and got a free fathers day sausage sandwich so he was chuffedgrin DS and I went down slide I was terrified have hurt ribs trying to slow us down he then went down it by himself shock no fear!!! Typical displays of shoddy parenting on show including parents ignoring their child (Tristan of all things) throwing 2 baby walkers down a slide (I was up on the equipment so no idea how he got them up there) while they sat eating chips and the staff had to tell him off then he was told off by another parent for ramming their child with a sit in car. I shall be helicopter parenting DS at that age he will not be that child!!

Figgygal Sun 16-Jun-13 14:13:46

Oh and am unhealthily torturing myself over fact I would have been 12wks gone today. How rubbish!!

QueenofClean Sun 16-Jun-13 16:54:32

Figgy I know. We have a parent support group for ASD children and think it will really help put things into perspective for him.

CheungFun Sun 16-Jun-13 17:49:37

Hi everyone,

Been lurking but not posting!

Queen hope your DH gets on board soon. Definitely agree with you that consistency is the best approach!

Figgy that sad but only natural I think to think of the dates.

I'm not even going to the about potty training until next summer...probably more like September tbh. DM potty trained my brother at 3 and me at 2 and said my brother was much much easier to potty train as he was a year older. I'm finding DS is co-operating with nappy changes at the moment.

DS is now starting to become more affectionate, he will come up for a quick cuddle and then wriggle to get down after a second! Every so often we have a mad kissing thing and he kisses me again and again with a wide open mouth!

Will decide what to do about the nursery if a certain someone gets the job or not....

Driving lessons are going well, need to get my theory test booked ASAP and hopefully pass it!

We've now had 13 viewings in a week and a half...very tiring keeping the flat ready at all times! Good news, we've had an offer, it's 11k lower than the asking price, we've turned it down, but hoping they come back with a higher offer on Monday/Tuesday. Most people make 2/3 offers don't they? Hope so!

I'm making DH braised beef cooked in Guiness for fathers day...smells yummy! Haven't made it before so hoping it tastes good!

GaryBuseysTeeth Sun 16-Jun-13 18:38:48

Cheung, 13 viewings in a week is fab! Although rather you than me on the constant showhome-ness, hope you've been able to relax.
Fingers crossed on the offer being increased!

((Figgy)), I should be overdue this week (or holding a newborn), mc's are a massive pile of crap..I hope DH is being supportive and lovely (and if you are going to try again, there's a fab few ttc after mc threads over in conception where you can be as bitter & unhealthily obsessed as you want!)
<pompoms> for your brave DS showing you how to slide, shocking sounding parenting. I always thought having kids would make me more forgiving of other parents but it's made me much more judgemental!

Queenie, sorry to hear things are really bad with DH. Is it worth doing something drastic like kicking him out until you get DD1 into a routine/settled so you don't have to put up with his sniping/the aggro whilst you're already stressed?
Hope you're ok being back at work tomorrow.

Milk wise we're doing 3 beakers a day atm (with breakfast, before morning nap & with evening meal) as DS really went off the idea of solids during the summer (assuming summer is over now!).
He tries his doidy cup every now & again.

We've got a potty (I don't like it & don't think we'll use it) & a toilet seat thingy..which he sits on after I've been to get him used to the toilet but I cba to commit to training him before the new DC arrives so it'll just stay a novelty for now.

Hope everyone has a good week!

OiMissus Sun 16-Jun-13 20:32:25

13 viewings is great. As is an offer! It's normal to go in with a very cheeky offer at first, and then work up from there. £11k under sounds like a very good place to start. - not very cheeky at all.
Milk - he has whole milk on his cereal, usually has a small cup mid- morning, and then 200ml in a bottle at bedtime. I'd stop the bottle, and use a cup, but sometimes it sends him off to sleep. I can't give that up!
New TV. ...I've never bought "tech" in my life. It's obscene. I've just spent the best part of £2k (I know. F-ink-hell) on a picture box. And then bought a £23 table from Ikea to sit it on. Ridiculous.
(But oddly exciting!) never seen Game of Thrones. We tend to watch comedies... I like Not Going Out, and the Ten O'clock thing, 8/10 cats, QI, - we rarely watch films. But now we intend to watch lots of 3D stuff. Ha! I can't see it.
Luckily, at the Home show today, I've found some patio doors that are v v v nice and much cheaper than I was expecting.
All good.
QoC - your relationship tends to yoyo quite dramatically. I don't know what to suggest. Maybe I'll see you at Relate!
I've got to do something. But I really can't be arsed. When I was pg, Half of me thought, right, sort it out. The other half was thinking well, at least I don't have to have sex with him again.
Now what?
I have to not be selfish. I have to make the effort for BOi's sake, and for DH who would be broken if he could not live with BOi. ...but I can't be arsed.
Need to buck my ideas up!

janey223 Sun 16-Jun-13 21:12:45

Sorry for those with DH issues, hope it improves.

13 viewings sounds great but what a nightmare shock this place is clean for 5 minutes at a time!

Monkey still has 14-20oz a day of formula from a bottle. The 3rd bottle is a bit of a pita because he won't eat as much but at the same time he mostly eats fruit half the week so the formula is the only thing keeping his weight up and the fats he needs cause he's cmpa. He refuses it from anything else anyway, even milk alternatives.

My dad is visiting so went to a Turkish brunch buffet then took monkey to city farm. He had a massive meltdown when we got home and was tugging me while I was cooking his pasta and it splashed and burnt his arm hmmhmm. Cue both of us crying our eyes out for a good 20mins hmmhmmhmm he's ok though, got a little bandage on his arm to keep him from scratching it.

Feel like I should have a beware awful mother sign urg!

CheungFun Sun 16-Jun-13 21:30:28

Fingers crossed! We're hoping to get an offer at some point for 5k less than the asking price. I think we would settle for a bit less as we really do want to go ahead with this move. It's hard trying to remain logical and business like when it's an emotional thing!

Oi the way I see it, now we're parents we go out less and stay in more so a new sparkly tv is a wise investment!

DH and I have re-watched 24 from series 1-8 and now we are addicted to West Wing! I also got the Peep Show box set for Christmas which I've started watching, it's cringing and gross but spot on!

Janey honestly don't worry, these things happen! If it helps at all I was smiling whilst holding DS today and managed to knock my teeth into his head really hard...almost cried but I rubbed his head fast and went on distract mode! I have been known to put DS in his cot if he's going into meltdown and I'm in the middle of cooking something that needs my attention. I can't think straight when he's like that!

I'm struggling to get DS to drink milk tbh so he usually has some with his cereal, maybe 300mls? And he has a beaker of milk with dinner so maybe 200mls? I make sure he has yoghurt every day and he has cheese quite often. He seems healthy and is growing so I'm hoping he's getting enough dairy.

Figgygal Sun 16-Jun-13 21:39:02

I think DS is eating too much he's getting podgy again and he has jowls but so does his dad and grandad do maybe it's a family thing blush he is a dustbin he would eat endlessly if he could. He has started a scrounging from our plates which is bad!!

Cheung definitely good luck with the sale hope it comes through this week.

Oi I love 3d my parents have a 3d tv when I visit I watch it loads the animations are the best so when boi a bit older he will love it too so it's clearly an investment grin I sympathise on the dh issues we ok at the moment but completely understand the cant be arsed mentality as I totally have that when we not in a good place and knowing it doesn't help makes no difference. No suggestions unfortunately hmm

janey223 Sun 16-Jun-13 21:50:40

Thanks cheung, he's constantly injuring himself on something but I feel bloody awful sad he's still awake now but I can't bring myself to be mardy with him nearly 2 hours post bedtime!

Lol figgy! Monkey is like that half of the time where he doesn't stop eating, gets chubbychubs then takes a stretch and goes back to barely eating food + stealing fruit out the fridge. It's no wonder the doctor won't take my concerns about his stomach seriously when he's now over the 99th blooming centile.

QueenofClean Sun 16-Jun-13 21:57:13

Am getting my Bon Jovi fix curtesy of IOW Festival Live streaming grin

Oi...wrt Relate don't think that would work for us tbh. Hope it does for you.

Figgy I wish Sky would eat lots more and be chubbier. Darcie was like a mini Buddha at this age!

I think right now I'm far from easiest person to live with and DH does try his best. Think it's just me nit picking if I'm honest and he doesn't know whether he's coming or going. sad it will be okay right?

My lungs and shoulders hurt/ache...back to work tomorrow but think I need a further course of steroids..what to do!?!

OiMissus Sun 16-Jun-13 22:01:52

BOi scrounges food from everyone's plates. He wants to eat non-stop.
As for milk, I don't know how much he's supposed to have. But he loves cheese. I don't do choc or sweet treats. He has fruit or babybels. grin

Aethelfleda Sun 16-Jun-13 22:29:46

oi, telly sounds exciting! Regarding snacks, I have my 1-2-3 theory.
Baby 1: only gets healthy snacks/organic biscuits sweetened with grape juice etc.
Baby 2: gets goodies wheat puffs, fig rolls and malted milks cos that's what baby 1 now has
Baby 3: ah, whatever.... Frazzles, Jammy dodgers and Iceland chocolate cornettos.

I speak as one who was mugged for my Iceland chocolate cornetto this afternoon by a certain one year old hmm

Sorry not to namecheck properly. My brain has melted and DH is away for a few days so am off to bed early to try to get some catchup sleep prior to the probable 6am wakeup I am usually spared....

<puts on some of those natty eye masks and turns off Father Ted>

Aethelfleda Sun 16-Jun-13 22:31:48

Ps queenie, back to the GP (or at least ring them to ask for advice/followup)


QueenofClean Mon 17-Jun-13 06:56:04

Aethel...everyone around me esp DH & my mom keep saying to go back & see doc as need further course of steroids and maybe more rest...think I overdone it at the weekend and am paying for it now. feel like I could pick my lungs up off the floor and carry them over my shoulder sad & my shoulders ache now too.

QueenofClean Mon 17-Jun-13 06:57:36

Oi I recommend the following to watch on your new TV:

Prison Break
Game of Thrones

All excellent viewing. smile

OiMissus Mon 17-Jun-13 08:13:45

I don't have time for all that! ;)
I tend to avoid things that NEED to be watched consistently. (I think it's a good tactic to try and avoid being glued to one's set and having to be in on x day at x time... - it never fitted in with my work /travel either. However, now we have TiVo and can series link everything... - but we've recorded stuff that we'll never get around to seeing... We'll see.) The Tv arrives on Thursday. And there's a man coming round to talk to me about solar panels... I need to look into it more before he arrives.
Oh I forgot, I POAS yesterday, and am definitely no longer pg.
And now I'm telling myself it's for a reason, - nothing to do with me drinking more than usual, or eating less, but because me and DH aren't meant to be.
What to do? Maybe I give it a year. Maybe try Relate,... But he bugs me. I felt sorry for the Tv salesman, having to listen to DH for so long, and he takes such a long time to get to the point. yawn. Get to the f-ink point! I'm 40. I can still meet someone else. (not that I'd want to get married again.) But probably then wouldn't be able to have another kid, and Boi needs a sibling... If I try and make things work with DH and can bring myself to dtd there's a good chance we'd get pg... But then it'd be even harder on him if we did split up. And I'd really struggle for money then...
What I'd like: DH to say, I don't fancy you anymore. I'll move into the spare room. let's have an open relationship. (ha ha ha!) I'll stick around, but we'll stay out of each other's way a bit. And gradually, I'll get a better job, move out, and we'll all be good friends and live happily ever after.
Jeebs. What to do?
I have to give it some time and try and make it work.
For DH.
But then I think, but I can't live with him for the rest of my life! Why should I give up my life for him?
Argh. and everyone would be so disappointed.
(me me me me me me me ! - sorry!)

SevenReasonsToSmile Mon 17-Jun-13 10:07:35

Oh oi (((hug))). I'm guessing DH has no idea how you feel? How does BOi's need for a sibling compare to your need to be happy? Could you cope with being unhappy for the rest of your life? Failing that if you want another DC I think you'd need to consider whether you'd cope being a single mum of two. In my experience it gets harder each time, there have definitely been times when our relationship has been pretty strained the last few weeks. Have you contacted relate yet?

figgy hope you're feeling better today, try not to dwell too much.

queen I agree with everyone else its not fair you're left feeling like this so often, especially now as you know what the problem is and you're working on improving the situation. Hope you're taking it easy today.

janey if it makes you feel better I banged DD1s head on the door frame while carrying her the other day. Hope he's ok.

DD1 has 8oz formula in a bottle when she wakes up, and 5oz in a cup at bedtime. We only managed to change bedtime to a cup when she was sick a few weeks ago, two days running after her bedtime bottle then she associated it with being sick and started refusing it. We said we'd potty train next summer, but she hates being dirty and wants changing straight away, we'll see how soon it gets easier with DD2 I guess

QueenofClean Mon 17-Jun-13 11:11:27

Oi have you told DH how you feel? Agree with Seven about the need for giving BOi a sibling over being happy something you need to think about. Being a single parent is hard but I wouldn't have a problem doing it again tbh. Feel like that some of the time anyway!

Seen doc and been signed off till Friday. Exhaustion or flat battery syndrome as he called it.

I made DH cry yesterday when I told him I feel alone and that he has been emotionally detached from me for ages. I know Darcie's behaviour has put a massive strain on our relationship but I've tried my best to help the situation. He needs to learn sometimes she's doing it for attention but sometimes she just can't help it and he needs to remember that. I do things the way I do because its the way that works.

Anyway, I must rest.

Aethelfleda Mon 17-Jun-13 12:17:35

Oh oi, huge ((((hug)))) what a rotten load of stuff to have to think about all at once. No magic fairy wands sadly, but I would advise caution with the whole "need a sibling" thing. Every only child will at some point whine that they want a sib. Scientific fact. Every sibling will ALSO at some point whine that they wanted to be an only. So in all honesty it's more do you see yourself as actively wanting to be a (possibly single) mum of two at all costs?

If you and DH do split (which may be more likely if you have the stress of another LO) then you will have to divide your time between BOi and the baby, which would be stressful on top of all the other stress. BOi may even link the split-up with you having the other LO....seriously, if you think breakup is inevitable think extremely carefully before DTD as if it's just the two of you then in the short term you can at least give a lot of time to BOi and yourself as a "team of two".

Sticking-plaster babies (where you "have one last try") are just as fascinating/demanding as any other babe and sadly the two I know of amongst close friends/family didn't alter the relationships in question in a positive way.
It's got to be a horribly tricky/complex question to answer and we're here whatever you decide. Think an upfront discussion with youir DH is important especially if he doesn't get how you're feeling. Good luck xxx

Aethelfleda Mon 17-Jun-13 12:20:12

And a large <tea> for all who needs them, especially queenie. bum on sofa, dear, for at least 20 minutes and I'm confiscating your CIF for the afternoon I need it cos my place is filthy

QueenofClean Mon 17-Jun-13 13:18:46

<Grabs central perk stylee mug full of tea>

Been to Aldi to stock up on supplies and have cheese & tomato pizza baguettes in oven for lunch.

Going to make some Jelly bean popping candy crispy cakes for DH to take to work on weds. I can sit down and do that at least.

Need to Hoover and tidy our room tho. Other than that house is tidy smile

DH been sending me nice e-mails this morning and arranged for me to have acupuncture and deep tissue massage.

OiMissus Mon 17-Jun-13 15:00:44

QoC - stop! No cakes. No hoovering. Just lie on the sofa and concentrate on looking at the ceiling!
Thanks for your thoughts, Ladies.
You're right about having another child. I just never saw myself as having only one. But I should put those thoughts on hold until I've sorted the relationship out.
I'm going to have to contact Relate. The longer I leave it, the worse it'll get. Such a scary thing to face up to though. If we do split, it'll hurt dH so much...

QueenofClean Mon 17-Jun-13 15:08:30

Oi the ceiling is boring to look at tho!

Am drinking a cuppa T currently watching a documentary.

Have you sat down and told DH how you feel? Even if it may hurt his feelings?

QueenofClean Mon 17-Jun-13 19:10:55

At Portsmouth Guildhall ready for my Darcie to rock it out in her singing gig! grin

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Mon 17-Jun-13 20:00:27

Good luck Darcie!

Oi go and phone relate. But remember, it takes two to make a marriage work, and you are not responsible for making DH do his share of the work. IF you split it will hurt, but would it be worse for bOi to grow up with an unhappy mum (even if you think you could hide it)? I really really believe it's up to us to show them what healthy relationships look like, and although there are normal ups and downs, it shouldn't be down for so long. I think it's much harder to make the decision to leave because you just aren't happy, rather than there being something obvious like an affair or abuse to give you a 'reason'. Whatever you decide, much love and tea and cake going your way.

DS slept till 7.45 this morning. This is unheard of. And then he had a two and half hour nap this afternoon. When he got up his nose was running though, so I think he's got a cold. He tends to just 'take to his bed' when he's not feeling great, and sleep it off. I think I've got it too, feel like death warmed up, I hurt everywhere after roller derby training and falling flat on my arse. Twice. I thought that area was pretty well padded, buy my back thinks differently. I'm going to have thighs of steel and be able to crack walnuts between my knees by the end of this course though! It's all good fun, kind of like sking, but without the fluffly snow to soften the falls.

I have got a shit ton of work to do this week, which I should really make a start on now...

Why, why is it that the child will not eat the apple that I've cut up into slices for him, but will eat an entire one, gnawing and gnashing it to the core, if I hold it and try and eat it 'normally' hmm?

Just for info Oi, I'm an - fairly unusual, and certainly for the 80s in Very Ruralshire- only child of a single parent, albeit I had regular contact with my Dad, and my parents are on really good terms. It's a different relationship, but a good one. I got loads of adult attention, developed a great vocabulary and imagination, and can read faster than anyone I know. BOi would be fine without a sibling; there's nothing wrong with you wanting another baby, but if it didn't come to pass, I think you'd miss it more than him.
Sounds pretty tough at the mo for you sad

So, obviously I'm envy and not speaking to Cheung given her piles of viewings and offers! Well done that woman grin. We've just made an offer on another house, and are hopeful for the open day next week.

I really hope that floor remained un-hoovered QoC <stern face> You sound physically worn out, you really need to have a week of doing very little; the steroids can only help so much, you must rest!

A mini-(hug) for you figgy about the 12 weeks; hope it's not too long before you're POAS again. DS here is also a little tubster; I showed him to my Mum on Skype whilst he was having his bath and she described him as a 'porker'! I stated that he was 'robust'....

And whoever asked about milk, we're doing bottles, 150 ml of full fat per day, around 10am and 3pm. He literally pants with excitement when he sees it grin

Hope you're not feeling too knackered aethel!

QueenofClean Mon 17-Jun-13 20:27:54

My Darcie is rocking grin got excellent end of term report too. <proud mummy>

QueenofClean Mon 17-Jun-13 20:42:18

Northern - my carpet got hoovered but DH done it when he got home & he picked Sky up from nursery and has run around after her for me.

Darcie is rocking at every level here tonight including rocking backing vocals grin

Faffin Mon 17-Jun-13 20:57:26

northern I have exactly the same thing with DS and apples. A whole one will keep him amused for ages, especially if it was originally mine, but a bowl of apple slices gets pushed away in disgust confused

OiMissus Tue 18-Jun-13 07:58:11

Typical childminder drop off this morning:
BOi is sat on my knee, arm firmly clamped around me, handful of hair in his grasp. "No mummy (or Ammy grin) you aren't going anywhere."
Me: Oh, shall we play with some toys?
BOi: No, for I know this is a ploy to get me to release you and you shall leave.
CM: Let's get some breakfast.
BOi: <disappeared - no bye, no kiss, no second look>
Mummy: <no longer exists>

smile Oi

I don't do the drop off, but by all accounts dh gets the melty face and crying until the front door shuts, at which point dh can hear him giggling and looking at all the toys.

QueenofClean Tue 18-Jun-13 09:26:50

Oi sounds like a normal drop off to nursery for Sky to me smile

Got my nephew today and he is being a good boy so far and Sky is being really good and playing nicely grin

Aethelfleda Tue 18-Jun-13 09:31:20

<passes around the vat of coffee>

DS was very kind and slept in til 7am! And DH is back tonight phew . Today will be spent in doing various while some nice men (hopefully) trim our lovely oak and remove the conifer that the landlord neighbour daftly planted 5 foot from our house ten years ago, not realising it was a leilandii and would if left grow to 60 ft and cause subsidence. They have given permission for us to have it taken away before said subsidence happens.

Oh and we have got out the Thomas traintrack. DS is <i> fascinated <\i>...

QueenofClean Tue 18-Jun-13 11:38:49

Yay! for those who's DC slept in...They need to talk to Sky!

24 cupcakes made just the last 12 to go.

Both Sky & my nephew are fast asleep so peace for now.

Just booked mine & Darcie's tickets to see Wicked the Musical in London....it's kids week starting Monday 5th August...I paid for my ticket and Darcie gets in for free smile just need to pay for the train.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Tue 18-Jun-13 12:25:53

Have fun at Wicked, it is amazeballs! We saw it in London and have tickets for later this year when it comes up north. Stop baking cakes when you're meant to be resting it's making me hungry

Aethal I feel you on the leilandii. We've got one of those, but thankfully it's far enough away from the house to cause no problem. Just ugly as sin.

Oi food is pretty much the marker by which all happiness is measured for us too.

We don't get tears at drop off, but he is quieter than usual. Goes happily to his key worker normally. We've both got hideous colds and DH has been ill and found out he has high cholesterol! So that's no more Scottish square sausage for us then. And I should stop just randomly adding cheese to meals. Damn it. I was up until half 1 doing work last night, god knows why I thought that was a good idea, won't be trying it again any time soon! Going to be a quiet week here hopefully, finishing the climbing frame and painting the ceiling is about all I can contemplate doing. Meant to be netballing on Thursday but am shattered and still in agony from having wheels on my feet.

Good luck to those selling houses!

SevenReasonsToSmile Tue 18-Jun-13 14:47:17

queen Saw the pics on Facebook, looked like they were having great fun. Hope you're sitting down now.

aethel We have leilandii hedging around our garden. It's kept to around 8ft but judging by the stumps in the middle where its previously been cut it must have been at least 20ft at one point.

DD2 has colic <sigh>. I ordered Dr Browns bottles on the advice of the health visitor, they should arrive tomorrow, wish us luck.

Xiaoxiong Tue 18-Jun-13 17:57:08

Can I just gloat for a second - I have just bought a new toy very serious work related purchase: a 27" iMac.

DS chewed the power cable of my old laptop and killed the cable - I got a new one but it only had a 2GHz processor and 4GB of memory and I needed something more powerful for working, now that I'm working at home full time. So now I have a little old laptop for out and about, and a huge wonderful behemoth on the desktop with a 3GHz processor, 8GB of memory and a terabyte of storage grin

Xiaoxiong Tue 18-Jun-13 17:58:29

(I have been saving £40 a month for this for the last three years as I knew this day would come someday, so it's so gratifying to finally have it here!!)

QueenofClean Tue 18-Jun-13 18:42:07

Cakes made and iced just need to add the decorations. Will upload pics to FB.

My nephew has just gone home - although my sister has been here for hr or so. They've played very well today.

Sky just being settled to bed. Darcie will be heading to bed soon and then a much needed bath for me.

Glad someone else's DC does it faffin, bloody annoying isn't it?!

I was unexpectedly relieved of interviewing duties- still got them tomorrow and Saturday- so am home. DP unhappy as he dropped his phone and the screen shattered, so is trying to sort it all out.

You sound just like my DP Xiao, I can tell you're in luuuurrrrrvvvvvvvve with the thing wink How is all the work going at the mo?

Really, really sorry to hear that seven, how grim Is the colic a bad dose? Wishing you luck and peace for tomorrow onwards....

Still waiting to hear back on the offer we put in on the house yesterday afternoon- is it normal to wait this long?

OctopusWrangler Tue 18-Jun-13 21:00:37

Xiao I have Mac envy envy

Coffee anyone?

Aethelfleda Tue 18-Jun-13 22:08:01

<holds out a mug for a top-up>

thanks octo!

Watching "the returned" (french C4 thingy) it's good: spooky and just a leetle twisted...

<and not jealous at all of xiao, nooo, not at all....>

Aethelfleda Tue 18-Jun-13 22:13:11

And yes northern, it's quite normal. Sometimes people have to discuss with the whole of their (hug) family before accepting/declining offers....don't read too much into it though <crosses fingers>

any progress cheung? And hope you've had a Chance to rest a little queenie.... (where's air by the way, anyone heard? have I missed a namechange?)

Figgygal Tue 18-Jun-13 22:25:50

Just peeking in to say I saw air on a thread at weekend where she was stressed out and got a bit of a hard time.....hopefully she is lurking though.

Nothing to report here!!

OiMissus Wed 19-Jun-13 08:53:07

Congratulations on the new "tech" Xiao!
I usually get excited about buying white goods. This Tech thing is a whole new experience.
In other news, Boi woke at 1:30am today, and I never got back to sleep after. I spent all night thinking about my situation. Going through the implications of being single... The only negative I can find is that I would share custody of BOi, so wouldn't see him everyday. This would be tough, I guess. Tough for BOi to get used to and understand a new routine (but he is used to having days without me when I travel with work - so it won't be entirely new), Tough for me - although, when I'm away with work... - so it would just be more often.
On the positive side of that, it would give me the opportunity to get out more - go to the gym, get stuff done.
So during the weekends when I don't see him, that's when I mow the lawn, etc etc... So it would be OK.
In many ways, I'll get my life back. Even when BOi's with me, I'll get more done. And will be happier, more positive, etc etc.
Maybe I'm better being single. I'm so independent, and so strong, I think it would be difficult for any man to really find a place with me.
I need to work through my finances, but with a few cutbacks, I think I'd be OK.
Am on conference calls most of today (now as I type...), but when I get free later today, I will contact Relate.

SevenReasonsToSmile Wed 19-Jun-13 10:20:22

oi sounds like you've already half decided what you want.

northern hope your offer is accepted today. Could you up it a little if necessary? Even if they turn it down the fact it wasn't refused straight away implied you're probably not far off.

Hope air is ok if you're lurking.

QueenofClean Wed 19-Jun-13 12:35:49

Oi I agree with Seven. It looks as though you've already made your decision. Tbh no good being in an unhappy relationship for sake of BOi as he will pick up on unhappy vibes.

DH & I are back on track. Have agreed to try and make more of an effort to spend time without the girls and rekindle our sparkle. He has also promised to try and learn more about ASD and come to any support groups etc that is needed for him to learn smile

Am resting today..woke up feeling great this morning tho so hopefully I've finally kicked this chest infection.

OiMissus Wed 19-Jun-13 18:57:25

I have made an appt at relate. Next weds evening. £48.
I was contemplating going alone to try and work out what I want, but am going to invite DH tonight. Then we have a week to discuss beforehand.
I feel sick to the stomach. He isn't home yet.
BOi fell asleep in the car on the way home and didn't stir when I put him in bed at 18:20. This won't last. He's not had his milk! He'll wake up feeling robbed and then come and beat me up. wink

QueenofClean Wed 19-Jun-13 19:45:24

Oi thinking of you and hope your discussion goes ok.

QueenofClean Wed 19-Jun-13 19:45:24

Oi thinking of you and hope your discussion goes ok.

Xiaoxiong Wed 19-Jun-13 19:51:49

Wow great step forward Oi - I hope Relate helps clarify things for you in your own head. Have you ever posted on the Relationships board here? DH posted there once, he found the advice really helpful. Sending you strength and tummy-settling vibes.

queen really glad to hear you guys are back on track - learning about ASD sounds like it could be really key to him understanding how Darcie is and how it's best to relate to her so he doesn't judge you unfairly.

air hope you're ok.

northern I would be so upset if I was your DH. My iPhone is lovingly cosseted like a Faberge egg and I would weep if the screen smashed!! Work is still fun but thank goodness we're ok on DH's salary as it looks like it's going to be a while longer than I thought before we make any money. Oh well - if it all folds, I've got really great experience to get another job in the future, and it's worth it just to spend so much more time with DS than I used to.

And as one new piece of tech arrives, another bites the dust - our washing machine door is not latching so an engineer has been called for tomorrow afternoon. I really hope it's just a case of replacing the door latch, fingers crossed. There's a load of sopping wet laundry in there too which I guess I need to finish off by hand and fling into the dryer or they'll have that horrible sour smell. I'm trying not to think about the nappy bucket, luckily it's only half full as I did all the nappies on Monday.

I know what did it, it was DS banging the door over and over while crooning "washin' masheeen, washin' masheeeeeeeen" over and over - but of course I'm not breathing a word of that to the engineer!

I also covered myself in mothering glory by shutting DS's finger in the door when I was trying to get it latched and didn't see that he'd snuck his finger in there. He was hidden under my ginormous bump blush There was much screaming and I think there will be a bruise tomorrow but no lasting harm done I think.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Wed 19-Jun-13 19:58:10

Xiong I spent a good hand minute trying to slam the shoe storage box closed before I realised that DS had his finger stuck in it the other day.

CheungFun Wed 19-Jun-13 20:35:09

Hi everyone,

Well...still waiting to see if the people that made the offer come back with a better offer! Yuck it's all too nerve wracking for me!

I'm looking forward to the weekend already, work is busy, DH is busy at work and not very chatty at the moment...think we're both just knackered!

Hope all the other DH's on the thread can sort themselves out as well!

Aethelfleda Wed 19-Jun-13 20:40:54

Good luck oi with talking to DH.


and <coffee> for all the thread, with belgian chocolates. Because we're worth it smile

Offer would have been accepted if we'd had a buyer...sigh...

Good luck Oi, I won't say hope it's not too distressing, cos that's unavoidable, but hope it's bearable.

Knackered, day from hell...

<helps self to belgian chocolate> Thanks Aethel!

Oi Good wishes from here too. Making this decision one way or another is probably one of the bravest things you can do, rather than just letting things get worse.

Queen Good to hear you're feeling better. I know you don't understand the concept of actually resting, but sometimes that is what your body needs wink

Xiao I vaguely remember you saying you feel huge this time and that baby movements were much more defined. Just wanted to say I feel like a whale this time roound (although in my case and skinnier and fitter than last time round, so possibly it really is just all bump!) and having told DH at about 5 months that this one didn't seem quite as wriggly I have been well and truely put in my place. Full on ripples, what I think was an elbow sticking right out yesterday and what feels like complete somersaults. Clearly my nice, quiet, calm DC2 is a figment of my imaginitation...

We haven't had any injuries here, although Seb has a huge scab thing on his hand that we have NO IDEA where it came from. It happened whilst we were away on holiday with 3 adults keeping an eye on him. shock

Cheung keeping fingers crossed here for you. You're not trying to buy Northerns house are you?!

Ummm, I'll be 34 weeks tomorrow. That means 6 weeks to go. 6 Weeks! Shiiiiiiit...

Xiaoxiong Wed 19-Jun-13 21:43:22

kat yes that describes me to a T this time!! Clearly life is about to get a lot more exciting for us with tiny hellion DC2s...and when I say "about", that's right around the corner for you shock Oh the insanity...

QueenofClean Thu 20-Jun-13 07:43:42

Oi I hope your discussion with DH went okay last night.

OiMissus Thu 20-Jun-13 07:57:54

Aw! I'm completely jealous that you have tiny hellion DC2s on the way. If we do split up, that will be the hardest bit for me. Of course, I could just go out and dtd with a stranger...(!)
Anyway, I needn't have bothered with the stomach somersaults last night. DH came home, we chatted about the day, I told him I'd made the appointment. He said "That's shit". I said, "It's sad, but it's not shit that we are doing something about it." And then I didn't get another word from him all night.
I wonder if he will take his head out of the sand before next Wednesday.
In better news, the new TV will arrive today, and I've got someone coming to talk to me about solar panels. (I must look online - weren't they free at one time? govt backed initiative? or is that just for people on benefits? Mini rant here: at the Home show at the weekend, loads of promos for free boilers, roof and wall insulation - all of which I need. Of course, I don't qualify, and can't afford them because I'm giving all my money away in taxes so that I can buy a boiler for some f-ink Call of Duty player.) I really don't know why I'm seeing someone about solar panels. I want to look into all energy-saving/cost saving measures, and I'm determined that I'm in this house for the long term (although it is massive if it's just for me n BOi!), but I can't afford solar panels. He said, i think, that they'd only cover a third of my electricity needs.
And I'm not really allowed to touch the Tv til DH comes home, because he will want to do all the setting up stuff. (As much as he annoys me, I shall not deprive him of this joy).
Good luck to those awaiting offers and offer-acceptances.
And don't worry, if it all falls through, you can come and stay at Ashworth Towers Ali's Palli. grin

OiMissus Thu 20-Jun-13 08:00:52

(what a confused, rambly post!)
Must stay on one thought path and not get distracted and ramble about other stuff.
Must stay on one thought path and not get distracted and ramble about other stuff.
Must stay on one thought path and not get distrac...

QueenofClean Thu 20-Jun-13 09:33:13

Oi...Maybe it came as a bit of a shock to DH and he needed time to process what you said without yelling etc. Hopefully he will be more open & honest with you tonight.

Hoping offers are accepted soon.

Kat - 34 weeks already, my how time has flown.

My cupcakes didn't all go yesterday, kept some back for today...however, DH said he told everyone to donate what they thought each cupcake was worth and out of 36 cupcakes about 20-25 went and they made £40 so far....<proud> nice to know people love my baking smile

Had an order for 12 more today...so will be getting onto that shortly.

I also have an appointment to have acupuncture today....first time ever so will see what happens.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Thu 20-Jun-13 10:29:35

Queen am jealous of your baking skills, the cupcakes looked lovely. Good luck with the acupuncture. I'm normally very anti anything 'woo' like that, but I've heard people have really good results from it.

Kat 34 weeks?! Wow, not long now!

Oi I don't really know what to say. I hope he becomes more positive about going to relate, but if he doesn't then maybe going on your own will help you clarify things. To be honest, you don't sound like you will miss any of the marriage bits and only seem concerned with how bOi will feel with parents living apart, and how DH would feel about living elsewhere. That sounds to me like you sort of know where you want this to head; and bOi will be absolutely fine - better to have happy parents separately that unhappy ones together, and DH is responsible for himself, you can't protect him from being unhappy. He's an adult and it's not your responsibility to micromanage his emotions. I hope you can come to some kind of decision about what to do, I understand the sadness about possibly not having a sibling for bOi. I wrote a big post in relationships about what to do about DH not wanting another and got some good advice.

DS has a bit of a cold this week, and the poor kid's got hayfever too. At nursery yesterday he wasn't very well and sneezing and scratching at his eyes. They gave him some calpol as he had a temp of 38.5 and it didn't come down, so they called me o come get him and dropped into the conversation that they had given him some piriton for his hayfever. Um. What? I don't remember giving you any piriton, or agreeing for you to give it to him. He's never had it before FGS. DH had to go pick him up as I had stuff on at work, but he was fine that afternoon, running round the garden like a mad thing. I dropped him off this morning, with some hayfever stuff I had bought for him and said that he had never had it before and they were a bit apologetic but kind of not? Basically they thought he was suffering and gave it to him - I think it was good intentions but I'm still kind of pissed that they gave him medication without my prior agreement. I've agreed that they can give him calpol and ibuprofen if they think its needed, and they have done in the past for teething and sore throats. But yeah, I'm just a bit annoyed. They're brilliant in general, so I'm hesitant to kick up a big fuss, and I can see what they were thinking, but still. Not. Happy.

OiMissus Thu 20-Jun-13 11:12:58

I don't think i'd be very happy either. They obviously don't have a problem calling you, so why didn't they call you beforehand to check it was OK with you? It's really odd. Most nurseries don't dare administer anything without your signed agreement. I agree, he was suffering, they wanted to stop him suffering, and, had they called you, you most likely would have agreed, or collected him to see a dr/pharmacist to get advice first. tv here...

OiMissus Thu 20-Jun-13 11:35:56

Sorry for that interuption.
"Feel the beauty"
that's what it says on the TV packaging.
...Which I am not opening. So DH can play.
You are right Hopalong. I can't micromanage DH's emotions/life.
If we do split up, I will have to help set him up somehow. I have to ensure that he's OK so that BOi can spend good times with him. I know that wouldn't be my responsibility, but I'll do what's best for BOi.
I think I'd be better without DH. I think he's a drain on my resources (time/energy), I'd get more done and have a fuller life without him.
I wouldn't miss his company, I don't think - I work full time. I have a son. With less time with BOi, I could even get out more, see my friends. And as for sex (I can't remember what that is - my fault! Not DH's!), I think I'll be able to just get some when I need some. (! shock)
I always wanted a family. With at least 2 kids. This one isn't really working. I can't see me meeting Mr Right II in time to go for DC2, while I'm still young enough...(And really don't want to start looking! ugh! Dating! The horror. No thanks!) So I have to forget that idea.
BOi will be absolutely fine. He'll have a richer life with me (doing more) There's just the passing from pillar to post aspect - some nights here, some nights there, days with GPs, days with CM... that I'm not keen on.

hey, but you never know, we might get to talking and fix everything!

But now, I must get back to work! Thanks for your support. Hop inbox me your address on FB so we can meet up tomorrow.

OiMissus Thu 20-Jun-13 11:45:30

(If you're still free, of course!)

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Thu 20-Jun-13 11:47:50

I shall inbox you in a minute, thanks for the reminder! bOi is still young though, so if seeing daddy and mummy on different days just becomes his routine, he will adapt and it will just be his normal as he gets older.

I need to get my arse in gear. Working from home and ploughing through weeks of emails, also got some men coming later to get rid of the wasps that have taken up residence at the front of my house, and some lovely sounding man called Brian who is most grateful to receive my unwanted fridge and freezer from freecycle. Oh, and I need to clean, go to Tesco and get ingredients for cake, and sweep the patio. Giving netball a miss tonight as I'm just over a cold.

Oh, and I need to send a polite email to a colleague pointing out that what he is requesting is actually his job, not mine, and I've already gone above and beyond to help him. I need to grow a pair.

QueenofClean Thu 20-Jun-13 12:07:57

Oi, ultimately if you know you'll be happier on your own then that is what needs to happen. BOi will be fine and as Hop says he's young enough to adapt and live between parents - that will be his norm. You can only do what you can to ensure BOi's happiness and to give him a full and enjoyable life. DH is responsible for his happiness and destiny.

Have you heard anything from DH or is he still giving you the silent treatment?

Figgygal Thu 20-Jun-13 13:28:33

oi I know you were thinking of these things prior to the recent pg and mc but could this be hormone related, related to you grieving for the baby? Maybe relate can discuss that with you? I hope he comes round to the fact that constructive dialogue is required however dont be surprised if he is way behind you in terms of his considerations about all this. How long have you been together?

I have to say DH and my future has been on my mind at various times over the last 18 months but i know that I dont want to not be with him really, i would miss his company and if we did split i would move back to scotland and so having 500 miles between me, figgy boy and his dad really makes me work at it on those "cant be arsed days". Saying that at 32 i now realise i desperately want another child after the mc and dh at 38 has said it is too late and as we have been together for 10 years we should have had ds earlier if i'd wanted 2. Obviously we need to have proper discussions about it but if he wont yield i am in the same dilemma leave him in the hope another dc is a possibility and then never meet anyone or not be able to get pg anyway or stay with him and resent the fact that by doing so i havent had a child. I always thought me wanting to move to scotland would be the end of us but maybe it will be this instead.....but that is a concern for another day.

QueenofClean Thu 20-Jun-13 15:51:00

Acupuncture was interesting...feel rather relaxed considering I've been sat with about 20 needles stuck in me shock

OiMissus Thu 20-Jun-13 15:59:42

I don't think this is hormone related. The doubts and these ideas were there before the mc. And I'm not grieving at all. I really didn't have time to enjoy or get excited about the pg. On Sunday night it was confirmed, on monday at 4:30am I was up getting ready to go to France for work. I had 3 full days of meetings and being with male colleagues and bosses, and at the end of the third day's meeting I started bleeding. I was obviously disappointed, but not particularly upset.
I looked at the mc almost as a non-event, it wasn't meant to be - because the pg ended so soon. I have no real feelings about it, and am not worried that if I became pg again it would end the same way.
(strange, eh?)
I think I wasn't eating very well, I had a few good nights on the vodka, ...and maybe my body thought "This daddy ain't gonna be here for long." who knows?

We've been together for about 5 years - so not long really. Seeing each other for 2.5 years, then married 2.5 years.

I don't understand why your DH has issues with being a dad beyond the age of 38. (Such a precise number!)
I don't know if I have a number...
If I split with DH, and then meet someone else, at the age of 44 - would that be too late, if my body was still up for it? It seems old, but it's only 3.5 years away... if I feel the same then as i do now, then maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing... But it almost sounds too old, too wrong - somehow. Why do I think that?
You definitely need to talk to your DH about having another child.
And I need to get DH to talk to me.
Gah. Men. Who needs 'em?!

OiMissus Thu 20-Jun-13 16:27:32

Can they stick a pin in you permanently, that you can jiggle everytime you think about cleaning, that then makes you think "put your feet up"?!

QueenofClean Thu 20-Jun-13 16:41:42

Oi are you going to try and talk to DH again tonight?

Wrt the needle & cleaning?? Dunno & not gonna ask lol.

Although I haven't hoovered today. So that's progress right?

Figgygal Thu 20-Jun-13 18:21:40

Qoc my mil has fybromyalgia and she swears by acupuncture so maybe there is something in it?!?

OiMissus Thu 20-Jun-13 19:10:41

That's trampiness! progress!!
(The first bit was a joke. My Hoover comes out once a week.)
Yes, probably will try to talk.

QueenofClean Thu 20-Jun-13 19:34:36

Oi the way my hair is I look trampy scruffy so not hoovering tops it off lol.

Figgy - ahh out of curiosity how does it benefit her/make her feel better & more energetic?

Early night for me as I'm shattered. Back to work tomorrow and I'm working 9-6 sad

Figgygal Thu 20-Jun-13 21:12:43

Dh and his gang are off at a wedding in Chelmsford today/tonight us wags been left at home on child care duty which is what happens when you have three weeks notice of a Thursday wedding blush of course that means I am sat in my dressing down eating Battenberg and watching all of my non-DH approved crap American TV grin

Am supposed to be going out with my friends Saturday night for a few drinks just tried on my night out clothes in the wardrobe and nothing fits well but even that is not stopping me from eating sad

Enjoy the TV and cake figgy; you'll have fun out with your friends whatever! That is weird about 38 being too old shock; my Dad was 53 ish when my youngest sibling was born, and it's no problem. Do you think it's just a really crap excuse to cover up the fact that he doesn't want another, or do you genuinely think he does feel it's elderly?!

Do, do try to take it relatively easy Queenie, please don't completely knacker yourself out. If it makes you ill again, get signed off again. Will you have the weekend to recover?
ps folks we are going to have to go round there and tie her to the sofa
On the acupuncture stuff, I don't bother either, but... the PiLs (and DFiL is a GP) used to get it done to their dog, and it worked wonders, absolute wonders. Went in creaking, came out like a puppy with a sugar rush, mad smile

Good luck with Relate Oi, does sound like it's just put the wind up him...but maybe it'll make him confront the problems once he's got his head round it...

Great weekend planned, cleaning tomorrow night as we have a random viewing on Saturday (most people are being shoved towards the open day, 'priority buyers' -urgh- are allowed round before) and then most of the day in the office on Saturday, doing interviews and catching up with HR sad

Aethelfleda Thu 20-Jun-13 22:46:34

Good luck oi, keep an open mind and see what DH comes up with, this is a decision you need to make as jointly as you can, I really hope you guys can have a frank and open discussion about where to go next.

queenie acupuncture is actually one of the least woo alternative therapies, there's some interesting science behind how it might work and it's especially effective for pain syndromes as it is thought to act on the brain's pain pathways to reduce pain signals: believe it or not I was shown a video once (pre Youtube but it might be on there now!) of a woman having a baby with acupuncture instead of an epidural... It was a C-section!!!!.... The vid was from China but was definitely a real procedure. Blimey.

Met with xiao and we raided a garden centre with great success apart from DS falling off both the slide and the trolley, parenting fail . Now just need to put the plants in my border before they all die!

Figgy: step away from the cake! Tell your DH that my DH had DS at thirty-eight and he's still in one piece.....
<fills up the urn for overnight coffee requirements>

SevenReasonsToSmile Thu 20-Jun-13 23:38:56

figgy my DH is 41. He's coping with a newborn but knackered, though he is working 50 hour weeks whilst still trying to fit the new kitchen in all fairness. Enjoy your crap American TV.

oi hope DH is talking now, I imagine it must have come as a shock. FWIW my parents had a relatively unhappy marriage when I was growing up. Dad was always angry and shouty, often for no good reason, and mum would always moan to me about him being horrible. If you can make it work and be happy again then that's fantastic, but I'd have rather had two happy seperate parents. PS they don't do the government scheme for solar panels anymore, they changed the tariff so the companies couldn't make as much money on what they were selling back to the grid. It wasn't just for those on benefits, we have them smile

northern hope the viewing goes ok.

We're still getting there with the new kitchen. The worktops have all been fitted this week and the cupboard handles, plus the sink is half-done. Then just tiling and painting left, though it'll probably still be a few weeks as we just have so little time at the moment. DD2 had an awful day yesterday, colic is definitely worse at night but daytime isn't always much better. Anyway, we've switched bottles, still on dentinox and started tummy massage, and today something seems to be working though I'll inevitably regret saying that tomorrow

Figgygal Fri 21-Jun-13 07:18:03

DS still asleep I've been awake since 6 why can't I sleep Anymore grr?? Today it's shopping swimming in morning and then Bristol aquarium this PM with friend and her 12mo ahead of dh returning from wedding.

The remaining mini cakes have gone in bin need to break this sugar dependency I've acquired

OiMissus Fri 21-Jun-13 07:52:15

Battenburg in a dressing gown? Figgy - You floozy! Ha ha! Sounded fab!
Good luck with the open day, northern!
Well, we had the BIG chat. It was really difficult. At first I had to force it, and he was pretty closed, as though he'd already given in. (Which underlines how he doesn't motivate himself about anything!) But, I got past that, I told him that we were in real trouble, but that I hadn't already made up my mind. (...move to laptop...)

OiMissus Fri 21-Jun-13 08:02:32

We spoke about our feelings, about what we wanted - obviously, both of us wanted the happy, loving family. And it was really good.
It was a wake up call that we both needed.
We are now going to really put in the effort to fix things. He is going to work out his issues and put the effort in to winning back my trust and respect, and I'm going to work on being open to that.
We both felt a lot better after the chat. It was obviously very tough and emotional. My eyes look rather puffy this morning!
But now we'll see what happens. He's really got to up his game.
I also think that our relationship will be healthier if I feel that I can get on and get stuff done - rather than feel stifled. So I said that we will be spending more time apart, but that it will be positive for us. I've encouraged him to get back into sport as well - for the same reason.
Of course, he needs his hernia op first.
Anyway, in summary, we've got some way to go to make things right, but I'm actually quite hopeful. I am going to make the effort and commit, but I also need to see him really making the effort too.
With this, and Relate, we'll give our marriage the best chance. And if it doesn't work out, we at least would have tried.

OiMissus Fri 21-Jun-13 08:13:34

In other news, our new tv is rather fabulous. But it looks massive. We've gone from a 32 to a 46".
We wanted something bigger (our lounge is a whopping great 8.5m x 4m), but didn't want a tv that dominated. So we agreed on 40". But then we started looking at 3d, and because I am slightly short-sighted and wear low prescription glasses to watch tv, we thought about wearing 3d glasses over my glasses - and i thought if we got a bigger telly, I wouldn't have to wear my glasses!
It's true! The picture is super clear anyway (the latest Sony Bravia - stunning!) but I can read the TV guide text without my glasses. I will still wear my glasses for normal viewing.
the picture is amazing. With our last tv, even though ist was HD ready, we could not perceive any difference between BBC1 and BBC1HD (for example). Well, oh my bob, we can now!
(Listen to me talking about a tv! It's ridiculous!)
My weekend: catch up with the ladies and babies this afternoon (Hopalong, benniebenbear, kri5ty). Tonight, I am going out for copious amounts of wine with my best friend - something I have not done for years.
Tomorrow, we are going to visit my parents' new static caravan. (!)
Sunday, my best friend from Friday and her hubby are coming over for dinner, and we'll probably check out a 3D Hobbit, or Life of Pi.
Also, the ladies on the FB group are talking about a get together/spa day in Birmingham/somewhere central. No dates yet, but I'll keep those of you not on FB informed if you're interested in coming along.

OiMissus Fri 21-Jun-13 08:17:21

"my best friend from friday" ??? You know what I mean!
Figgy - I can almost taste the Battenburg - Must resist from buying and eating cake - at least until this afternoon with the ladies!

SevenReasonsToSmile Fri 21-Jun-13 09:08:59

Glad things are sounding a bit more positive today oi. Doesn't sound like you'll be having much time to enjoy your fabulous TV over the weekend.

I should get dressed and do some housework but there's a very cute baby snoozing on my shoulder ...

OiMissus Fri 21-Jun-13 09:56:08

I don't think I'll have much time for the Tv either. Long term. On another thread I've just listed the things I'd do if I have time in the evenings, and then I realised that I have to make time and not just sit with DH,watching tv - feeling stifled. Here's my to do list:
- get on with decorating the house
- have a really good clear out, and then organise what's left
- ebay all those things that I no longer need
- sort out my wardrobe (clear out/fix up/put outfits together)
- have "spa" nights, lovely bubble bath, scrub up, exfoliate, soothe, false tan, paint nails
- put some time into the garden - veggie patch, etc

Aethelfleda Fri 21-Jun-13 12:57:05

oi, well done for giving things a good discussion, I think it's far better in the long run to know you really have tried, and now it's a case of seeing how things go.
Also, that sounds just like my to-do list!
(apart from the false tan: I am a slattern <grin>)
If you fancy a support thread there's a little DIY support thread I'm on over in Property. It's quiet at the mo but a great motivator...

Ooh I think DS has decided he might nap. Where to start with the house?Plants into Borders ahoy!

<makes another round of tea>

Figgygal Fri 21-Jun-13 19:06:10

DS has had a busy (and wet) day today we went swimming, to the aquarium and then he jumped in the water features at Bristol harbour side it's on multi levels And has dancing fountains every 10mins of so he was sodden I had spare trousers but no shirt or towel had to sacrifice my cardie as a towel and he had to wear his zip up hoodie which doesn't zip for some reason. Of course I had to "rescue him" from it thank god I was wearing cropped trousers..... such a monster grin

QueenofClean Fri 21-Jun-13 20:19:37

Oi good to see you had a good talk and things seem more positive.

I've been at work all day 8:30-6pm and shattered now...meant no time for cleaning today...will make up for it tomorrow smile

Darcie at her nanny's tonight and just settling Sky then early night for me.

My cakes went down a treat at work.

OctopusWrangler Fri 21-Jun-13 23:47:02

Today was hard. Supporting mum through the funeral of her younger sibling. Dad doesn't deal well in these situations. Tense because half expected uninvited people to show. If I was a drinker it would have been a wine night.

I sincerely hope that we all have a better weekend. Hug your family sad

QueenofClean Sat 22-Jun-13 07:30:53

Octo that must of been hard. Thinking of you all at this hard time.

Aethelfleda Sat 22-Jun-13 09:46:18

(((((((big hug)))))) octo, and many condolences. it's awful when younger siblings/children go first, just adds another level of unfair on top of the grief.

School fair today: be still, my beating heart. DDs will enjoy it lots especially as there are four bouncy castles planned...

<makes pile of savoury muffins with butter and some with marmite and stacks next to the tea>

Figgygal Sat 22-Jun-13 18:29:51

Another super busy day today last min bday present shipping for a 4yr old, friends round for rugby and bacon, aforementioned 4yr olds bday party, lunch with Sil, Bil and DN, park with Sil and her lo which turned into a local music festival which was on at park today and now on bus to town in my best (most forgiving) maxi dress and sparkly sandals to meet friends for wine grin housework what's that??

Oi hope your girly wine sesh went well!

QueenofClean Sat 22-Jun-13 19:55:42

Peaceful evening Chez Queen...Darcie out at a sleepover, Sky I'm bed under the weather with her teeth, DH up the pub so I'm having an early night in bed with Star Wars.

Am going to YouTube cake decorating tips...always like to improve myself. Was told my cakes at work yesterday had a hallmark as iced to perfection! grin

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Sat 22-Jun-13 21:02:33

Busy today today; my cousin and get husband came over for a lovely catch up, stressful trip to b&q where ds decided to lay on the ground screaming and had to be carried out roll of carpet style. Now painting a sandbox. Not sure if I'm tired of just high on paint fines.

Hope figgy and Oi have enjoyed their sessions!

Sorry to hear about your Auntie Octo, and all the other tensions around the funeral. I take it your Mum and her sister were close?

Although nothing like that, it's been all shades of pants here. I've been getting worse and worse with whatever's going on in the side of my head. At first I thought I just had a sore throat and my wisdom tooth had rubbed up my gums, but I now have a killer, red bubbly throat, and swelling and pain all over my cheek/jaw. I spent a hideously feverish night, and have no appetite- today I've eaten one piece of bread. Just wondering if I should call the out of hours GP or dentist tomorrow?

I had to drag myself all the way into work this morning on public transport, to interview, and only two of the six turned up, the first and last ones....

On top of all of that, the radiator came off the wall in the bedroom last night; our wonderful plumber came and re-attached it, but there's now a damp patch on the ceiling- we've marked it to see if it's getting bigger, and then we'll call him back.

And we then, after all that, had to exit the house asap for the viewing!!

So am lying on the sofa, in pain and feeling crap because I can't enjoy or be a good parent to DS


Aethelfleda Sun 23-Jun-13 09:44:59

Oh no northern <hands over ibuprofen and paracetamol with a VERY strong pint of coffee>

i'd say if it's jaw based and swollen then see how quickly you can get to a dentist. If it's days then book it and consder a walkin centre GP (but they are v limited in what they can do). Some things can mimic tooth trouble tho, there are a few icky things like quinsies/salivary gland infecions, so getting checked over by whoever can see you soonest sounds sensible. Good luck xx

<munches further ibuprofen and paracetamol>

Thanks aethel, am going to emergency dentists very shortly. After years of tonsilitis (sp?) I had the sods removed when I was 21, best thing ever, otherwise this would have turned into a bout.

The plumbing emergency got worse, and the plumber's just leaving- lots of leaks, and large wet patches on two floors...

Still, have eaten a whole piece of toast and some Cadbury's buttons, so hoorah confused

SevenReasonsToSmile Sun 23-Jun-13 18:14:38

Sounds like its been a bad weekend northern. Hope things improved a little after seeing the dentist.

DD1 is really miserable with teething, its only been a week since they were last hurting her sad. Still, at least half of one of the three molars that are close is through.

jigglebum Sun 23-Jun-13 21:45:31

Lurking and trying to stay up to date with the thread but all a bit too busy here to catch up much. DS s birthday activities took up best part of 3 days last weekend (school party, family gathering, then actual bday) , then I was up to london for 2 days of meetings and now am in the midst of supervising GSCE examiners for 3 weeks - lots of time online but not much time to MN. Have freya most days all day still so have to do it all in the evenings/weekends. She doesnt really believe in day time sleep and if she sleeps more than an hour I cant get her to bed anyway.

Too much to name check but just to say oi I know where you are coming from in many ways! Good luck to house sellers, plumbers, cake bakers etc!

Re other questions somewhere up thread - Freya has milk before bed but beaker not bottle and sometimes a drink mid afternoon but no bottles. Toilet training will not be happening here until next summer. DS was 3 and was quick to do at that stage and not at all stressful. I suspect freya will be earlier as a girl and a second but 2 and a hlaf will be fine for me!

Think I have to give up for today and go to bed - knackered!

OiMissus Mon 24-Jun-13 08:07:14

Oh dear Northern, your weekend sounded grim! How very rude of the 4 to not turn up - especially when you are ill. Karma will strike them back. (We must believe!) I hope you're feeling better and that the plumbing is now all fixed. (And why couldn't that wait until you'd sold up and moved out?!
BOi went to the OOH docs yesterday too. He has a swollen sixpence (that's what grandma called it anyway). His foreskin is a bit tight and it's got a slight infection - like thrush. hmm Hopefully it will right itself, with cream and time and circumsizion will not be nec! Poor mite! He's had enough trouble down there already. Give the BOi a break!
(Although as a lady [of dubious reputation] a circumsized willy is rather nice!)
...will continue in a sec...

OiMissus Mon 24-Jun-13 08:42:31

(That sounded v odd reading it back.)
In other news, the Friday evening drinks session was really good. It was great to relax with my mate. We drank a lot of wine and put the world to rights, and when I got home at some point after midnight I was bouncing off the walls. Drunk.
Oh dear, and I sent some drunken texts to my sister who announced to the FaceBook world that one of my parents' dogs had died. "Goodnight Nugget. God bless. xxx" - Well as far as I know, the dog couldn't read and didn't go on facebook, and he certainly wouldn't be reading it now as he's dead. Mum had tried to contact me, but my phone was in my handbag. My mate saw the post when I went to the loo... I wasn't very happy.
I thought BOi had slept through, but no, I was just unconscious. DH was on duty. (ha ha!)
He also did all the driving on Saturday when we went to my parents' new static caravan. It is very lovely. Not at all like my PIL's caravan.
Last night friends came for dinner and then we watched our first 3D movie. Very nice, thank you.
Mum thinks I should definitely work on the marriage, "too many people give up too quickly". I'm not convinced...
Germany tomorrow, and then Relate on Wednesday evening.
All good fun.
Air - hope you're OK. - So many of us with husband issues. I can see a thread title of the future "Dec 2011 - The one where we all get divorced"

OiMissus Mon 24-Jun-13 08:44:18

I need to work on commas. And making sense in general. Must try harder.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Mon 24-Jun-13 09:59:35

Add me to the divorce list. So pissed off with DH after this weekend I could happily have beaten him to death with a chair. Oh, you've got a cold? Well then that makes it totally fine to shout at your over tired toddler and be incredibly rude to him. He's just a child so it doesn't really matter. FFS. Am no longer sad that he doesn't want another baby.
And breathe.

OiMissus Mon 24-Jun-13 11:17:26

Oh no! Sympathies and hugs.
I wonder how many "mum communes" have been set up from similar threads... !

Figgygal Mon 24-Jun-13 12:41:22

Can i join the DH bashing?

Mine is still in a hump with me after i went out Saturday night he seems to think that because we dont have babysitting options at the moment which means we cant go out together we shouldn’t go out separately, he doesn’t understand why a 32 year old mother would want to go out getting pissed – he wont listen to the fact that i had no intention of getting pissed, that because i am a 32 year old mother doesn’t mean my life has to end, that he was out when he was 32, that our coupley friends are 6-9yrs older than me so maybe they dont want to be doing these things and he shouldn’t compare them to me, that i haven’t been “pissed” for 3 years+ so not to judge me on how i behaved when i was 25 (which was often pretty shamefully i must admit) and am capable of going out, not getting leathered, raped or murdered and that not all taxi drivers are murderous sexual predators GAAAAAHHHHH

He sits in another room, huffing and puffing, staring into space and refuses to acknowledge when i speak to him, he can be snidey and shitty with me but then takes exception when i pick him up on it. He told me this morning that if i do things he doesn’t like or agree with i have to deal with the consequences so i said right in that case what you are saying is the only way to avoid all this shit is to do exactly what you want, think the same way as you, not go out without you as by me having my own opinions and by going out without you you are acting this way so to avoid it i just wont anymore?? BUT apparently he doesn’t want me to do that either..........WTF do you want then!! I am sure none of that last sentence made sense.

oi what was it that tipped you over the edge and made you call relate i think we could do with some sort of intermediary to stop me getting shouty and stabby. I am an angry scot who grew up in a household with massive blow out rows and that being the last you hear about the issue while he is a sulker and his parents are snipey and can drag little arguments out for days, months, years so we are very different which doesn’t help.

DS didn’t help this morning he woke at 6 and then screamed until 7.30 he screamed to be picked up, put down, he walked around with the TV remotes and lay full on ground crying and kicking when i refused to put it on at 7.15, his toys were thrown, i was hit in the mouth he was VILE!!! Only managed to calm him down after some nurofen and banana rice cakes. Hop if DH had shouted at DS this morning i would have prob knocked him out.

and breathe........

OiMissus Mon 24-Jun-13 12:59:33

Crikey! figgy your DH needs to wake up to himself.
And I must also add that you're allowed to go out and have a few vinos at ANY age! You are also completely allowed to get leathered, if you so wish, and be shameful. grin
Nothing tipped me over the edge really. I just realised that the relationship was not "doing it for me" any more. I knew that having a child changes a relationship, and it takes time to get into it, etc., but realised that, more than that, I really just don't feel the same way about him. The relationship is unfulfilling. And it crossed over the line to where things started to grate...
When he gambled again, I realised that I wanted the relationship to end. That's when I decided to go to Relate.
To be honest, I wanted Relate to make the split more amicable, and bearable for us both. I also wanted it as an excuse to help justify the split to others, "Oh we tried to fix things. We even went to Relate..."
Then I made the appointment (after a few weeks), and then DH and I talked, and decided to put the effort in.
Now, I truly don't know what I want. We'll go to Relate and see what happens.

Figgygal Mon 24-Jun-13 13:19:32

Christo oi we would be a barrell of laughs if we were in the same room wouldnt we :-)

See how he is tonight it is just exhausting!!!!!!

QueenofClean Mon 24-Jun-13 13:36:46

Oh no...hope all DH pull themselves together soon.

Am very very tired. Sky didn't go to sleep till 4am and was up again by 7:30....shattered on top of already being exhausted is an understatement <yawn>

DH & I had a serious talk about me becoming a SAHM. He was the one who raised it last week as he is very concerned about my health and tbh so am I. So have a phone call booked in with my GP this week for his opinion - although I know he will agree, he's been saying it for months. Financially our purse strings will have to be tightened but think we will be ok.

SevenReasonsToSmile Mon 24-Jun-13 13:45:40

oi hopefully relate will at least help you to make sense of things and decide what you want.

Slight DH related ranting here too, I know he works long hours but I'm so fed up of him moaning about being tired. We were splitting doing the night feeds, then I done six nights in a row so he'd be less tired so could do more in the new kitchen, but still he moans about being so tired doing the kitchen. He done last night for me (first night I've slept in our bed all week as we're staying downstairs so the colic doesn't wake everyone up) and made to feel guilty because of course he's tired. Gah, I'm tired too I just don't feel the need to moan about it every five minutes angry

OiMissus Mon 24-Jun-13 14:12:41

They are pathetic aren't they?
Little boys who need to grow some balls!
And figgy, we'd have a good laugh if we got together. Especially if we were allowed to get pissed. wink

jigglebum Mon 24-Jun-13 14:29:13

Oh dear - the men just dont seem to get it , do they? Could write a great deal about DH and I 's problems but fundamentally it stems from me changing more when I became a mum and him being resentful that his life is now so boring! I also find him very selfish and we dont really share any quality time as a couple or much physical contact at all. I do wonder what he adds to my life apart from finance and DIY skills but the kids love him and love playing with him, and I dont think I can be arsed with stress and hassle of a divorce, or the impact on the kids and our finances. Those of us with boys must make sure we do better for the next generation!

AnAirOfHope Mon 24-Jun-13 18:06:46

Hi I have just read 11 pages and catch up.

Sorry oi (hugs)

Hope you can be SAHM Queenie and get some rest but please consider all aspects - it makes you very dependant on dh and may affect your future ability to get a job sad

Hello to ElQ (waves like a loon)

My catch up/update
Hope coked on bottle top and I had to do first aid it was very scary.
Air has started football training
I have a new mummy friend that is local
Hope has milk as a drink some times but if bf alot everyday and has chesses and yougot, she is saying lots of words and coping words we say, likes pretend play with dolls, like colouring and has climb the big slide at park and come bown slide on her own, like seesaw but not swings, can do anamile noises and calls them by name. She knows she has done a wee and I can tell when she is going and she can say wee and poo but im not ready to potty train her yet.

She is scared of other children and just stands there watching them should have called her Wednesday

H lied to me on Friday and I kicked him out, he is now back and sleeping in Airs room. He thinls its ok to lie and I dont so we are going to relate. I get very angry as im a redhead and Welsh, Friday night was not pretty angry

Air is going to SALT as he gets his t and k mixed up and cant say s so we now have homework each week. He was sick last night and.has temp so didnt go to school today and is driving me mad! He can now write his own name but I think he os dyslecix so im trying even more to get his speech and reading and writting sorted!
Im trying to take the kids out more to swimming, footy, park and playgroups and friends and walking more as well.

I have done all my washing and housecleaning and sorting out and meal planning and saving money so apart from h pants on fire everything is ok.

I think my depression is more under control so im more productive and calm which is good as Hope will be starting to turn into a stroppy toddler soon grin

AnAirOfHope Mon 24-Jun-13 18:15:22

Oi is it being married that makes you feel trapped or your dh?

Does he support you in having you time each week? Where you can have a bath, paint, read, go to the gym? Being away with work is not you time.

Can you get a babysitter to go out together?

We share days so Saturday is my lie in day and I get time to read, garden, paint and do what I want when H looks after kids then on Sunday it H lie in day and he does what he w as nts to do. Every other sunday kids go to pil for lunch and we have time together to eat a meal, DTD, chat or go out together.

I find it hard to feel loved/liked by people and its hard for me to let people in

AnAirOfHope Mon 24-Jun-13 18:25:37

Its a defence mechinisam - I like this but your going to hurt me so im pushing you away before you push me away and hurt me. I felt like this for a year after we got married and then again when I had PND once on Antidepressents I felt alot better about my marrage and that I wanted to build a family with H for our children.

Im no long in the honeymoon phase I dont get butterflies when I first see H after work or in the morning there is no newness or exsitment in our relationship - its boring and confortable.

But we have shard history, we are family, we have the same dreams and hopes for the future, we respect each other and feel happy to support each other in new adventers.

I still think H is a git for lieing to me, bringing him parents into our affairs and for being stupid and doing something I dont like him doing. But I know beep down I love him and we are family and we need to sort this issue out!

AnAirOfHope Mon 24-Jun-13 18:27:58

But if he will not help sort it out I will be fine being a single mum as im strong and awesome grin

Sorry for the epic posts and the me me me

QueenofClean Mon 24-Jun-13 18:46:01

Air sending you lots of support smile

I realise being a SAHM will make me more dependant on DH but I don't think that will be too much of a problem.

My little ragbag Sky got detention/time out at nursery today for scratching another child because he had the chair she wanted to sit in hmm naughty girl sad she now in bed asleep and hopefully for the night.

Darcie came out of school with a headache. Mum picked her up and she promptly threw up in her car, into my dads hat of all things lol. Now in bed after a dose of calpol.

DH gone out so peace for me.

OiMissus Mon 24-Jun-13 19:28:44

We are awesome!
Ha! wink I like it.
Thanks for sharing the DH experiences. It helps me to get more perspective, and I'm sure it helps you to write it all down too.
QOC - as aaoh says, be cautious becoming a SAHM. Whilst you must certainly look after your health, it wasn't that long ago that your DH had issues about money/balance and you don't need more pressure. Make sure he's really on board. Good luck.

QueenofClean Mon 24-Jun-13 19:45:49

Oi - wrt money ishoos he is brilliant now. I see all the accounts and where the money goes to etc. I've been a single mom so can do it all on my own if it ever came to it. I'll keep my skills up at home. I've already enrolled on a part time college course in sept for Cake decorating level 1 as really enjoying my cuppy making and find it quite relaxing smile

AnAirOfHope Mon 24-Jun-13 20:03:39

I have been a SAHM for 4.5 years now from when Air was born. My main issues was ajusting from not working, not much adult contact, setting my own routine, being with a screaming baby 24/7, not having a break from the children,making all the decission about the children myself and being crotisied by H if things went wrong, learning to budget and have joint money so better communication about the money we both spent. Looking after children when sick as cant sfford H to have time off work.

H more stressed as its his responsability to make the money and not get sacked hmm dealing with jelousy from H about me not working, getting up early and him talking to adults having childfree time.

Good things for me about being SAHM: I gotvto take air swimming everyweek which he will not get at nursary, I get to teach him everything d learn about child development, first aid, nutrition for children and loss weight playing footy and chase, teaching the values I want him to have and disaplining him as I see fit. Doing my own thing when I want, fits around health problems (better pg with Hope as not at work lifting heavy boxes, filling) and I get the take lpts of photos and make happy mempiries when they still want me involved.

Bad thing money: all savings go and remoraged house to affored it as well as no holiday or extras, no clothes, makeup, fags, beer, nights out, concerts, cinema, purfume, expensice hairdos and nothing but essentials for everyone. H Timberland boots for work broke and we cant afford to replace them so he is wearing deck shoes his mum give him for free.

We had planned for three years only and then Hope came along so now we are down to living hand to mouth and selling things with me going part time in January 14 when Hope in nursary and Air in full time school.

AnAirOfHope Mon 24-Jun-13 20:10:29

Also not afford to move to bigger house, not having nursary room, kids not shareing a room, hope being in our room til 5yo, not having a bf chair etc etc.......

QueenofClean Mon 24-Jun-13 20:43:05

Thank you Air for the pro's & cons smile we are lucky in the fact that DH earns £60k + we live day to day anyway. I'm used to budgeting and surviving on a hell of a lot less.

As long as I keep house clean, washing & ironing upto date and girls are fed, watered and happy. Then I knowDH will be fine and won't resent me.

I know I'll be a happier person and better wife & mother as I won't be so exhausted.

Hello air, good to see you back. Sorry your OH was a bit of an arse.

It must've been grim for her, but Darcie vomming into your Dad's hat did make me smile Queenie... Hope she's better now and sleeping OK.

Y'know, I think that the same way all our babies psychically communicate, and we all come on here going "s/he woke at 3am/has pox/won't eat, ARGH!" I think the men-folk must be doing the same. There can be no other explanation for such simultaneous arse-iosity.
I think figgster is being most restrained...we're in exactly the same situation as you with no family to help, and when one gets the chance to go out the other encourages them to- DP has come home reeling from a beer festival, and I've gotten in at gone midnight on work night following a leaving do! It only happens about twice a year, it's fun, so what's the biggie confused?!

Is Relate this Wednesday Oi or am I imagining it? Good luck if so.

Right, need to make dinner before I munch the damn laptop through hunger. Throat and ulcer still grim, thank God for buckets of painkillers, anti-b's and some pain-killing throat spray stuff the dentist gave me.

Xiaoxiong Mon 24-Jun-13 22:20:10

Yah boo and haddocks to all H's with communication problems and other issues - hope they sort themselves out soon and Relate helps those who are going for counselling.

Queen hope Darcie's feeling better and Northern hope those painkillers are still working!

We have a roster of neighbours' teenagers and au pairs for babysitting in addition to our nanny (now on mat leave). Going rate round here is about £20 for the whole evening so we factor that into the going out budget and put DS to bed and then go out for dinner or a movie or something.

Friday I left for a hen weekend in Madrid and DH left for two weeks in Scotland so my parents came to stay at ours for the weekend. I got back last night and DS was sooooo happy to see me, he wouldn't stop cuddling me or climbing into my lap and kept patting my face and saying "mama, mama" appreciatively. Then we had a lovely hour in bed together this morning cuddling and occasionally breastfeeding and reading books.

My parents may have had rose tinted specs on about how much work it is taking care of DS. Before I left it was all, "we've done this twice you know, we could do this in our sleep, we'll show you how it's done!" But as soon as I walked in the door there was a serious feeling of relief in the air and my father said to my mother "why don't you go take a nap", then he promptly dozed off on the sofa! Rather wonderfully DS, who never gets up before 7am for us, woke them at 4.30am ready to play clever boy grin

My hips and ribs are absolutely knackered from Madrid though. I think the dreaded sciatica/SPD is worse this time but DH said I was in a lot of pain last time too, I'm just blotting it out. This morning I could barely get out of bed and had to take a nap when DS did, thereby not getting any work done today, the house is a disaster zone, and DS had a piece of cheese, oatcakes, smoked salmon and blueberries for dinner.

Oh well...to quote Scarlett O'Hara, tomorrow is another day!

OiMissus Tue 25-Jun-13 07:28:08

Sorry about the of pains/sciatica etc xiao.
How did you go about finding babysitters? (Not that I want to spend time with DH, mind, but I probably should give it a go!)
Yes, relate is tomorrow night. When i get home from Germany - if I ever get there. This plane doesn't seem to be taking off... Should've left 27mins ago... Paperwork problems apparently. hmm

AnAirOfHope Tue 25-Jun-13 08:14:12

Air mist be ill he still not up yet sad

Oi hope the plane leaves soon.

Xiao sorry to hear about the SPD, aqupuntcher (sticking copper needles in preasure points) helped take the pain away for me I highly reccomend it.

OiMissus Tue 25-Jun-13 08:58:50

Plane cancelled... Still on the Tarmac though. Should've taken off at 7, it's now 9. Can't even get back in the airport!
It's a good job I am not a stresshead. Am perfectly chilled. smile
Could do with a coffee though. Aethel?

Figgygal Tue 25-Jun-13 09:13:07

On a train to London for the day lucky me!!

Cm had a chat with us last night about DS speech I knew it was coming as he Is behind I'm not worried as I know it'll come but she has to talk to us about it. She says he's so advanced in relation to everything else his understanding is brilliant, he follows instructions, he knows his body parts he can point to things in his books he knows his animal noises he knows cars go vroom, trains go choo choo etc and he gibbers and shouts at us all the time but we still only get mummy daddy juice ball and bubble. The hv will just tell us to talk to him more wont they? He doesn't need a dr yet does he?

Had a massive long chat about his schooling as well last night as the best school in area is a church school and dh and I are both staunch atheists. DS isn't christened and cm thinks to get him in we we will need to start church and do that at least 2 years before we register for schools I don't think I can lower myself to such hypocrisy and then there still be no guarantee he will get in. if he doesn't get in we will have to lose her (as she doesn't do school runs to other schools) and even maybe move house as the other local school is a dropping off kids in PJs while dropping fag ash on the baby's head kind of school and he is not going there EVER. he's just 18mo how can this be an issue already??

SevenReasonsToSmile Tue 25-Jun-13 09:34:02

figgy I wouldn't be concerned about speech until he's 2 tbh.

oi hope you've left now.

Stupid argument here last night, apparently DH is fed up of how I speak to him and my shitty attitude. I don't have an attitude, he's stressed with work and takes everything the wrong way. This was after he fell asleep on the sofa and woke up at 2:45 and I was encouraging him to go to bed (the tv was still on and I was sleeping downstairs so DD2 didn't wake the others up, surely that's fair?) Anyway, I've been wide awake stressing and thinking all night, I've had 2 hours sleep. House is filthy and DS Physio is coming later. I've had to tell DS we can't go to the park this morning as I don't have time to take him, feeling like a crap mother. Sorry for me, me, me post.

And yes where is aethel? We need coffee, and maybe Danish pastries?

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Tue 25-Jun-13 09:59:04

QOQ if being a SAHM is what you want, and you and DH are both happy with it, then go for it. My only reservations are that is makes you very dependent on DH, and I'm way too used to having my own money to be able to do it myself. But if it is going to help you look after your own health, then go for it.

Oi hope you get in the sky soon, and good luck with relate. I hope it helps you clarify things in your own head at least.

Figgy don't worry about the speech. I think Dr's don't really care until they're two. Sorry your DH is being a nobber too.

AOH nice to see you back. Hope you can talk things through with DH and move forward.

Xiao Sorry about the pain, glad you enjoyed your trip away.

I have forgiven DH, sort of. DS has just been a holy terror all weekend, I think it's a mix of not napping as he does usually, having a cold and he's got two teeth coming through. I have had to take many deep breaths and count to ten quite a few times. Tantrums in the house, in the garden, in the park, in Tesco, in B&Q, in the bath... I'm just over it and quite glad to be at work today (insert awful mother emoticon). Last night he threw a tantrum in the bad and kept hitting and pinching and biting DH. DH got really annoyed at him (he's still feeling like crap too) so I just snapped, kicked DH out of the bathroom and did bedtime myself. Managed to distract DS by getting him splashing water everywhere (and DH had a go at me about that, seriously? What's the problem, it's either water on the floor or a screaming toddler, you choose.) and get him happily off to bed. Then I gave DH the silent treatment for an hour (I'm dead mature me) and went to bed. DH came up and apologised and said he's going to try and be more patient and be better with monkey and said that he's really sorry. I wasn't very gracious at this point, I have to admit, and just said that when he gets like that, it makes me not want to leave him alone with DS. He went really quiet, and that was that. He's been fine this morning.

Looking at this weekend though, I'm going to be honest and say that a lot of it is coming from the fact that we have spent the last few weeks trying to get stuff done while DS is around, and it's really hard and frustrating and no fun for anyone. We're going to try and make an effort to do more fun stuff, just the three of us (like going for walks and to national trust places, oh yeah it's all ROCK AND BLOODY ROLL over here), so that we're enjoying the time we have with DS, not just getting pissed off because an 18 month old doesn't want to stand quietly in B&Q for an hour without touching everything. Oh, and we're off down to B'ham next month to meet a fab photographer friend of mine to get some family pictures taken.

In other news, DS is 27lbs 13oz now. Which is exactly how much weight I am currently trying to lose. It is very depressing to look at my massive toddler and realise that that is how much I need to shrink by.

<channels aethal>

<passes round coffee and wodges of cake to all who would like some, and celery to those on diets>

OiMissus Tue 25-Jun-13 10:46:05

Figgy - your LO is exactly the same as BOi. He is brilliant - understands loads, and does tasks when asked (showing true understanding), he knows all body parts and animals etc, but he's a BOi of very few words: ammy, addy, ganpa, ganma, andy (sandy - dog's name), apple... He speaks loads, but not with real words. I am not worried in the slightest.

QueenofClean Tue 25-Jun-13 11:24:49

Oi - hope you either get airborne soon or get back into the airport at least!

Sorry to hear about everyone's DH problems...do you think they are communicating like our DC do?!

I've always had my own money too and weary about having to be totally reliant on DH...never been reliant on anyone before but I think it will be okay. I'll be a hippy mommy as I was when on maternity leave lol. DH will give me money to run the household and sure If any of us need anything I can just go and get anyway.

Wish me luck as doing overtime today and handing my notice in today too!

Xiaoxiong Tue 25-Jun-13 11:50:20

air you star!! I never thought about acupuncture for the pain but I am getting right onto that. Having grown up in China I have seen first hand the incredible things it can do, my great uncle who had been unable to walk for two years from MS flew from the States in a wheelchair for a week's course and it gave him back six months of mobility.

Oi we asked for recommendations from other parents mainly, and the best sources have been kids of neighbours, nursery staff and au pairs looking to earn a bit of extra cash in the evenings - but we've also been prepared to get someone from sitters.co.uk for when we've been somewhere we don't know anyone (eg. when we thought we might go to this wedding up in Newcastle).

Boi goes to nursery right? I would use that as your first port of call because chances are he might get someone he already knows.

Having a consistent amount of time a deux has been absolutely vital for us, even if we did manage to slightly mar our last date night by arguing about what it meant to believe in God (and we are both atheists!!)

OiMissus Tue 25-Jun-13 13:05:01

Ok, next flight due to take off in 22 mins. No gate staff yet... He he he! Wish me luck.
I luffs Manchester airport, I do.

Aethelfleda Tue 25-Jun-13 14:08:02

Ooh, sorry, I pootles off to do some shopping and the thread goes crazy!

<wheels in consolatory lunch trolley stacked with salmon and cream cheese bagels and a selection of yummy cheese rolls: Yarg, caerphilly, cambazola and aged gouda!>

figgy, DS is -Definitely not a boy genius-- able to say mumma, dada, nack (snack) dit-dit (biscuit) nanaaaaa (banana) duck (ducks or anything remotely birdlike) doh-doh (DD2) dat-dat (DD1) and doo-doo (choochoo, meaning Thomas the Tank engine). He signs for food/drink/more/all gone/hello/byebye.
No other words yet, but he understands lots. So hope this reassured you that your DS is totally normal!

Good luck with the notice queenie! I am itching for September but know there is tons to do at home in the meantime, want to restart part time work before the stuff at home becomes too much to get away from.

Oh the tantrums at this end! There's not too many yet but I have a little diva on my hands if I won't let him reprogramme the microwave/phone/washing machine.....

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Tue 25-Jun-13 14:28:05

We've moved on from the TV remote and now the fave toy is the oven <big deep breaths> and the fun twisty dials that turn it on. We did get some amazing magnetic cabinet locks that are standing up well to a toddler sized beating. Don't think they would work on the oven though.

Word wise we have:
daddy/dada, mummy/mumma, cat, cow (all animals are either cats or cows), more, MINE!, cheeeezzzze, hot, cold, more, all gone, stuuuuuuuck (usually wailed at high pitch), broke (usually said way too innocently), 'wack 'wack (quack quack), rah-rah (broom), vroooom! (any toy with wheels), up high!, down low!, toes, arm, shooocks (socks), shoooooes, hair, up!, NO!!!, yesh, key, lock (think he means door really), pooohs (means those gross baby puffs that look like wotsits but taste of nothing), nana (but means all food), dink (drink), meeek (milk), pappy (grandad), gagad (other grandad), Haaaaadeee (means his cousin who's name sounds a bit like this). I think there's more but I'm losing track. It's awesome being able to communicate a bit better with him, but he's a contrary little bugger at times! He's had a language bloom the past month, before that we had about five words for ages. Oh, and he has thankfully stopped saying 'oh fuck' when he drops things <polishes Bestest Parent Ever crown>

Still can't eat anything without smearing it all over himself though. Oh, and thinks the best way to eat yoghurt is with his fist.

AnAirOfHope Tue 25-Jun-13 14:30:13

Figgy if you are concerned give your hv a call and ask if there is any speech therapy groups on.

The ones Air went to started at 18 months old and was called talking tots. Its like a playgroup but fouces on talking games. They give you homework and talking games to do at home or nursary. Its just used to incourage lo to talk more. They also give.tips on how to encourage his language development. Its also fun smile

Its voluntry at this age and Air is only started to go to proper SALT now at 4yo because he needs to be able to say the letters before he learns to read and write them

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Tue 25-Jun-13 14:30:23

Oh, we also have 'bum!' and 'poo!' but not sure they mean anything yet. He's just heard me singing 'stink bum, stink bum, you got a stinky bum, you're bum is really stinky so we're gona change your bum! You did a poo, a big poo, you did a big poo, your bum is really pooey so we're gona change your bum' to the tune of Sex Bomb whenever we change a nappy.

AnAirOfHope Tue 25-Jun-13 14:49:14

Hopes words are
Iuon (aaron)
Pengwin bomber
There (with pointing)
Star as in twinkal twinkle little star song with actions

She.can sign more, bye and shakes her head for yes or no and can moo.

Her latest trick is to headbut me in my tummy and then walk to the door sit with arms folded till I tell her to get off the naghty step and then she comes gives me a hug and kiss. I think she feels left out as Air spends so much time on NS at the mo grin

Today she was playing with the vtech crawl ball and she was pressing the buttons it would say triangle or curcle and she would say it to so she has started copying word people say like Batman Ball. Air didnt do that till 3.5 yo shock

She likes colouring and reading books, the same book 10 times in a row, pretend play with dolls so feeding, burbing, pushing in toy stroller and changing nappy.

She hasnt took clothes off but can put top and jeans on herself and takes shoes off and puts wellies on.

Its great watching her. She is also very checky and also headbutted MIL and knocked her tooth out oppsy blush

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit Tue 25-Jun-13 15:08:25

Can I just say th