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It's April 2013, the time is now & HERE ARE OUR BABIES!

(1000 Posts)
toobreathless Mon 15-Apr-13 22:10:08

Our first post natal thread!

Cooking & Cleaning can wait till tomorrow
for children grow up we've learnt to our sorrow
So wipe away cobwebs and dust go to sleep
I'm cuddling my baby cause babies don't keep!

A thread to celebrate the highs of life with a gorgeous newborn and the lows of sleepless nights, stitches, feeding traumas & Baby blues.

tattooedapril87 Mon 15-Apr-13 22:27:51


(Nicola Scott on fb - new mum of twin boys, Milo and Woody)

HavingALittleFaithBaby Mon 15-Apr-13 22:34:48

<marks spot with left hand, holds baby in right>

Trishstar Mon 15-Apr-13 22:38:55

Marking my spot too!!! Lets hope I can be posting on this thread from home in a day or two!!! xxx

SneezySnatcher Mon 15-Apr-13 22:40:51

Typing on phone while feeding H!

lutrinae Mon 15-Apr-13 22:41:41

Hooray! Is anyone else still feeling really bruised and sore after delivering just over a week ago? I've also got the night sweats pretty bad. I can't wait to feel well again and concentrate on my baby!

Dysgu Mon 15-Apr-13 22:56:20

Lutrinae I think I was sorest after the birth of DD1 even though she is the smallest of all mine (and was less than half the weight of your DS!) Not saying it is a good thing, but this time i have healed very quickly in comparison but don't like to think what that says about the state of things... hmm Hope you are feeling better soon.

Trish hopefully just one or two more nights to go until you and Hunter go home. Fingers crossed for you.

I am just sitting here listening to Evan snuffling in is moses basket. He will probably wake up wanting to feed in an hour or so but I am considering moving him upstairs so I can lie in bed and read a book. I came home from the school run today and DP suggested I have a nap - and I woke up after lunchtime! DP is great at helping in the night but he doesn't wake up when Evan does so it is usually easier for me to get on with things myself. Or if DP does it I end up being awake anyway as I am such a light sleeper. Right now we are working in shifts so DP has been in bed for a couple of hours already but will get up with Evan any time from 4am onwards and will start his day then! I am not sure how this will work once he goes back to work next week but I think it is pretty much how we got through the early months with DDs too!

itsaruddygame Mon 15-Apr-13 23:30:14

Hello all! Am currently trying to put Harry in his bedside cot. He is happy to sleep on me but every attempt to put him down has failed so far! My OH is helping with the first night feed (expressed milk/formula depending on how much I have managed to pump). It is just about saving my bacon as Harry feeds for hours at a time and I was getting no sleep/losing the will to live ; ) fingers crossed for a good night for us all!

BonaDea Mon 15-Apr-13 23:45:19

Hi all - glad to have the thread started!

Itsaruddygame - same here. DS is 4 weeks tomorrow and his
Lovely co-sleeper cot which is attached to my side of the bed is completely unused. On me or at a push right next to me are the only options! He'll happily sleep during the day whether out and about or at home in his pram...

Exclusively bf'ing here so no relief from DH in the middle of the night sadly!! We've had a terrible case of thrush which is only now starting to clear which has made feeding agony and made me come close to jacking it in (or just running away!). We still have a few latch issues so feeding is not painless but hoping to sort that out this week.

Feel like if I can get over the feeding pain issues I can cope with the rest - even lack of sleep!

How are others getting on with feeding?

toobreathless Mon 15-Apr-13 23:54:06

Hello grin

Feeding baby here, she tends to cluster feed between about 10pm and midnight but then has been going until about 6am which is remarkable really considering she is only 7 lb 0 today. not counting my chickens though as I am fully aware it may all change next week!

We have been to Kiddicare in Nottingham today and are now the proud owners of a snot green kiwi green Phil & Teds Navigator double buggy. We got £220 off making it a just over £300 for everything- not bad. It is utterly hideous, well actually the buggy is lovely the green covers are hideous but I wasn't going to get snotty (excuse the pun!) about the colour when only the green one was on offer.

Breastfeeding is going well here although it is pretty sore & I'm having some rather embarrassing oversupply issues needing multiple top changes. I get very strong (& quite unpleasant) let downs and get them just looking at the baby, hoping it settles soon!

lutrinae I think we delivered on the same day (6th?) I had a second degree tear dir to C flying out and am pretty much healed. But Dd1 was 8 lb 8, forceps and then a 1.5 L bleed and I remember feeling like I'd been run over by a truck for weeks. I think you had a bleed did you? Take it easy it takes time for your blood count to recover, I hope you have lots of help?

trish really hope you and Hunter get home ASAP.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 16-Apr-13 00:16:31

We are having feeding issues what with her being so small. The latch has kicked in today but its such hard work for her bf we got in a vicious cycle. She screamed the house down for hours. Lovely MW and student came and took over....despite having some top up she actually needed more. She is finally full and has stopped wailing like a banshee! Fits with what they say about tiny babies being hungry! They've got me a side cot now which I hope will help too. Going to try and get some sleep (hopefully both of us! now.

ratbagcatbag Tue 16-Apr-13 02:53:57

Hello all

I'm feeling surprisingly chippy for three am as she managed two hours asleep in her Moses basket with no choking or sick due to reflux, trip to a and e Sunday morning for meds has really made a difference.

Trish - here's hoping you're home soon

Tell you what ladies, it seems such a long time ago I was five weeks pregnant and one of the very first lot of posters on the April thread, Amazing that were all gradually getting our babies (or they've been here a bit longer for a few of us) and well carry on through the highs and lows of babies and hopefully even beyond that. <clutches bosom and waves flags and pompoms in solidarity of April group>

BonaDea Tue 16-Apr-13 03:29:38

I'm here at this ungodly hour, too. LO is having a good old midnight feast to himself. I find this feed usually takes ages - he is much slower to get full somehow and sometimes one or both of us fall asleep, waking 20 mins later just to carry on! I have learned from bitter experience tho - if I try to take him off before he is really really finished the second breast he will settle for 10 mins then the hunger cues will start again and I'll end up starting again!!

BonaDea Tue 16-Apr-13 03:52:26

I'm here at this ungodly hour, too. LO is having a good old midnight feast to himself. I find this feed usually takes ages - he is much slower to get full somehow and sometimes one or both of us fall asleep, waking 20 mins later just to carry on! I have learned from bitter experience tho - if I try to take him off before he is really really finished the second breast he will settle for 10 mins then the hunger cues will start again and I'll end up starting again!!

EssexWelsh Tue 16-Apr-13 03:54:47

Morning/Afternoon/what time is it??? Have a feeling this thread will see a lot of 3am posts! We are just feeding, I'm exclusively bf so no help with night feeds but to be fair I have been lucky, Blake feeds every 3-4 hours then goes back down in his Moses basket so I am sleeping in chunks, although sometimes I struggle to fall asleep when he does which is so annoying as I worry about being tired the next day which makes me less likely to sleep-oh the vicious cycle!

Anyone else constantly worrying if they are too hot/too cold and what I should be covering them up in in bed and when we go out?

bunnygirl80 Tue 16-Apr-13 03:55:35

Hello everyone! It's lunchtime here and I'm in the middle of "operation you will sleep in your Moses basket and not my arms" grin. Dd sleeps fantastically at night, often going 6 hours between feeds, she just will only do it on me. Part of the issue was over feeding and then being sick as soon as she lay flat, so I'm now only feeding from one side each feed, but she still wakes and screams as soon as she realises I've put her down. Took me two hours of putting down and resettling this morning, but she's now had a two hour sleep in there.

My plans to have a break from cluster feeding in the evening by letting DH give a bottle of ebm have been scuppered too. Had pumped and frozen several feeds worth of milk, but got up on Sunday to discover the freezer had broken and it had all defrosted. Gave her one bottle of it, but all the rest went down the sink. Just spent 20 mins pumping more to replace stocks, but I must have not screwed the container on properly, and when I finished I put it down, the whole thing disconnected from the pump and the entire contents spilt all over the floor. Gutted.

lutrinae after DS I felt pretty bruised for about 2 weeks. I had a second degree tear, and the pain actually seemed to increase at about ten days, probably as I got more active. I think my recovery from the elcs this time has taken the same amount of time, I've just given myself more chance to rest because my I can tell myself it's ok to sit around because I've just had major surgery. With my vb I was just so glad not to be pg any more I went crazy running about doing stuff

toobreathless I've got a navigator too, although it's in lovely red rather than snot green! I'm so so glad I decided to get a double in the end, and pushing a combined 18kg of toddler and baby in it will certainly help rid me of my baby weight! Can you find the hood in a nicer colour on eBay?

itsaruddygame Tue 16-Apr-13 05:00:34

We have been on the go since 4am now - with a major changing table incident that saw off 2 nappies in the middle! How long are your babies taking to feed? Harry is feeding for what seems like hours then he is hungry again in another hour sometimes!! I guess it is due to him being early and little. He will go longer sometimes but Sod's law it's normally in the day!

Bona - hope the thrush clears up - sounds painful! We have now g

itsaruddygame Tue 16-Apr-13 05:04:49

We have been on the go since 4am now - with a major changing table incident that saw off 2 nappies in the middle! How long are your babies taking to feed? Harry is feeding for what seems like hours then he is hungry again in another hour sometimes!! I guess it is due to him being early and little. He will go longer sometimes but Sod's law it's normally in the day!

Bona - hope the thrush clears up - sounds painful! We have now a pain free latch on the right - not quite there on the left yet though (no idea why!).

Bunny - what a nightmare re: your milk - I would probably cry!! I have been expressing but not getting a huge amount. With Harry feeding so regularly and for so long I don't think I would still be feeding if my oh wasn't helping out with one feed - if I can get 3 or 4 hours in one go I can just about do it.

ratbagcatbag Tue 16-Apr-13 05:21:36

Still up from the 2am feed, reflux not settling as well as from first fed as I'm struggling to,get her to wind and then it makes reflux worse, just done another feed so expecting to be able to put her down in forty mins. I'd really like an hour then.
Even though I'm bottle feeding I do,all night as DH at work, but when he gets in, I go straight to bed for an hour at least. I'm going to be dead later today on one and half hours sleep sad

JessieEssex Tue 16-Apr-13 06:02:12

Hi all, just marking place. On the third feed of the night, and she's fussing and farting like nobody's business! BF has started off really well and she's a very efficient feeder, so we have about 20 min feeds. She sleeps in her moses baskets between feeds, but she is SO noisy in her sleep - squeaking, grunting, farting. Anyone else have a baby that sounds like a rusty wheel?!
Also she's still really sleepy - she was 23 days early which must account for it, but she's probaby only awake for 3-4 hours in 24! I'm sure I'll look back on it in a few weeks and wish it was the same, but for now, I do worry that's she's too sleepy.

itsaruddygame Tue 16-Apr-13 06:39:02

Ratbag - that sounds brutal. Was going to whinge that I only got an hour in bed between feeds but as you have been up all night I wont! Hope u can get some sleep later.

Jessie - we have some nice quiet snoozes and some as you describe - lol! I am sure she will be awake for longer as she gets older - that is what is happening for us.

itsaruddygame Tue 16-Apr-13 06:54:36

Ratbag - that sounds brutal. Was going to whinge that I only got an hour in bed between feeds but as you have been up all night I wont! Hope u can get some sleep later.

Jessie - we have some nice quiet snoozes and some as you describe - lol! I am sure she will be awake for longer as she gets older - that is what is happening for us.

SneezySnatcher Tue 16-Apr-13 07:12:28

Well I got a grand total of 0 hours sleep. I hate hospitals. We had been told we could go home yesterday but then one set of bloods wasn't in. I got a bit teary at that!

Henry fed al night last night, despite feeding beautifully during the day, and then MWs were popping in to do obs. He's been popping along to NICU for antibiotics at 2am and each time a MW came for him and took him. This time, a new MW asked me to remind her he needed to go at two (so had to watch the clock) and then she made me take him (I'd been hoping for half an hour's shut-eye while he was gone)! I'm exhausted.

The paed has just been to finish his checks so once the bloods are in we are going. One of the MWs said maybe they will redo it but I am not going to let them! He's been prodded and poked enough.

ratbagcatbag Tue 16-Apr-13 07:52:48

Still awake here FFS. Figured it out though, or some of it,when I've just put her on DH side of the bed now he's gone to work she star fishes, literally stretches as wide as possible and zonks out (only to realise ten mins later she's hungry) I her Moses basket she tries and hits the sides and wakes herself up. Off to johnlewis to get a cat net for cot, then will have to dismantle cot in her room and bring t in here. Maybe producing better sleep for me smile

Mama1980 Tue 16-Apr-13 08:12:48

Hi all grin just marking my spot, feels like I've been postnatal forever!
Hope all is good sneezy and you can go home to sleep!
Ratbag, that sounds tough, not much advice but plenty of sympathy here, rant away if it helps! smile

Copying over my post from ante natal as don't have time to type it again before next feed.
Trish- I hope hunters weigh in goes well and u can make plans to go home ASAP. Finally took a good look at the fb photos, oh my goodness hunter is gorgeous! So handsome he looks like he's thinking some very important thoughts smile
Dysgu- thanks for the reassurance, I'm so glad Evan is doing so well smile I have had chicken pox luckily but they are still concerned apparently it is possible to get it again.

I had the night from hell, they have kept Alex in, for observation we can go this morning if his bloods come back with no elevated white count. He hated the needle, then I had to go back to see ds1 so I left expressed milk and a bottle for one feed as I was never gonna make it back in less than two hours- well Alex went mad, he's never had a bottle before but the nurses were all he will be fine if he's hungry he'll eat- not my son, he screamed, he howled, he was sick, he wouldn't be touched just mad him worse... I got back to find him in a real state straight onto the boob, fed, sighed and fell fast asleep. He's been fine since, I feel terrible but I can't be in two places as once. Desperately hoping we can go home today, though obviously still very worried it hoping that if he was going to get sick he would have done so by now.

Trishstar Tue 16-Apr-13 08:29:13

Aaaw thanks Bec he does strike some poses!!! Hopefully today or tomorrow for going home as long as weight is ok and sugars have been consistent xx will add another pic or two xxx

lutrinae Tue 16-Apr-13 09:51:43

dysgu , too and bunny - thanks for the reassurance and well wishes. Yep delivered on the 5th with a second degree tear and a litre of blood lost. Recovering from a truck crash feels about right! I do seem to feel more bruised now than before as I begin to get better and active as you say.

At least breastfeeding is getting better now as latch is improved. Although last night DS was very fractious and wouldn't sleep in his basket. Only sleeping next to mummy would do. Oh well at least feeding was easier (ie more lazy).

Ha ha Jessie mine totally sounds like that too! Or like a little wheezy piglet. smile

Sneezy I had never stayed in a hospital before having DS and had no conception how hard it was to sleep in one. It's almost impossible, especially in a post natal ward. So bright and hot too. Hope you're out soon.

Trish and Mama hope you both get back home soon too.

Trishstar Tue 16-Apr-13 10:06:16

He's 6lb15oz now! Put weight on in last 2 days! Docs just want to monitor sugars til this afternoon/evening (tho they are happy with last 24 hours) and hopefully home tonight!!!! Keep sending the positive thoughts!!! Don't want another night in here!! Xxxx

Trishstar Tue 16-Apr-13 10:07:53

You ladies have kept me sane whilst in here xxxx thank you! Xxx

Mama1980 Tue 16-Apr-13 10:25:21

Way to go hunter, well done clever boy smile you must be thrilled trish, many hundreds of positive thoughts being sent your way! Fingers crossed you get home tonight xxx

We are still sitting here, Alex has no infection but drs are still concerned. He is technically nearly 5 months old, so the 4 week immunity he has from me is long gone, but he is exclusively breast fed which is good....basically dr has gone to discuss it with other drs! Very complicated/rare medical situation apparently-well I seem to be managing rather too many of those lately.....

SneezySnatcher Tue 16-Apr-13 13:32:28

Going to spend yet another night in the hospital (our fourth so nothing compare to some of you I know).

Yesterday the paed said that, as long as Henry's cultures came back today free from infection, we could go home. Came back - all clear! Paed comes to do newborn check, have discharge meeting, DH and DD came with car seat.

Another paed comes to double-check. Comments on how alert/healthy he is. Brilliant!

The consultant has decided to now leave the cultures another 24 hours to see if anything grows, despite the fact that after a clear 48 hours (+ a visibly healthy baby) it's extremely unlikely. All of this because my waters went before labour started.

I know it's good they are taking care of him but I am truly miserable. I had a crash section on Saturday and I'm having to do all the baby care outside of visiting hours (doing pretty much everything on the 'banned' list they gave me). I have barely slept since labour started on Friday and I'm starting to hallucinate from tiredness (plus the anaemia they have just identified).

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 16-Apr-13 13:57:52

sneezy I'm struggling too. BabyFaith has got into the habit of cluster feeding and is struggling to settle on her own. We are topping her up and I'm about to try to express so hopefully my milk will start to come in - we're just struggling because she's so small. However she hasn't lost too much weight in the last two days so we can persevere with feeding and expressing...trouble is I'm only getting sleep when someone else is with her which is a bit of a challenge but the staff are very supportive!

BonaDea Tue 16-Apr-13 14:24:15

Sneezy - I completely identify! I ended up in for 6 days and in the end was so miserable. Although I knew they were being careful of DS in the end it felt over the top and I almost felt got at. Paranoia I think now.

Just hang on in there. I promise you that when you get home with LO it will be the best feeling ever. grinJust don't do what I did and have a melt down when you are finally released - think I had been so busy trying to hold myself together that when I felt the relief of escape I turned into a wreck for a good hour!

SneezySnatcher Tue 16-Apr-13 14:30:20

Thanks Bona and Faith it's so hard isn't it?!

The worst thing is the guilt about DD. I'd really wanted to keep things as free from disruption as possible for her and instead I've been away from home since Friday.

Trishstar Tue 16-Apr-13 14:39:42

Home once daddy gets here after work!!!!! Woohoo xxxxxxxx smilesmilesmilesmile

BonaDea Tue 16-Apr-13 16:36:41

Great news trish!

Mama1980 Tue 16-Apr-13 16:38:27

Such wonderful news trish! grin thanks

SneezySnatcher Tue 16-Apr-13 17:06:30

Great, Trish!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 16-Apr-13 18:27:02

Yup at about 4am I decided I was failing as a mother and would give her away...been reassured by the staff that it is purely down to DD(!) first time I've written that! is small and that even if I was bottle feeding we'd have the same issues. Had success hand expressing earlier with a top up feed from a cup so we'll keep going with it. Only big issue I have is that she won't sleep alone if she knows I'm around...might have to hand her over to the staff for some kip tonight!

Mama1980 Tue 16-Apr-13 20:31:22

Hope you're safely home now trish having cuddles smile
Faith- hope you get some sleep!

Trishstar Tue 16-Apr-13 23:04:35

Everyone else had cuddles since we got home xx

He's been so good! No crying x just a good feed n back to sleep. Xxx

So nice to be back x

Dysgu Tue 16-Apr-13 23:50:18

Gosh, this having babies is full of angst, isn't it!

In the beginning there is the hope for the BFP and then the symptom spotting begins that keeps us worrying throughout the whole pregnancy. There is the stress of movements and the anxiety about birth.

Then there is the arrival - perhaps early, late or on time; perhaps to plan or full of more panic, chaos and anxiety. Some of the babies need extra care, extra support and we need a bit more help before we get to bring them home.

Bringing them home brings with it the worry about whether they are too hot or too cold; what to dress them in, where to get them to (try to) sleep. They might be noisy sleepers so keep us awake even when we could be asleep or they might be quiet sleepers and keep us awake as we constantly check that they are okay.

Feeding them - whether BF, FF or a mixture - is so often far from straight forward. Are they getting enough, too much? How to get the wind up, cope with the reflux, feed in public, whether to wake them to feed if they seem too sleepy. Is the latch right? Is it the right teat? Which milk should we give? Are top up helpful? Cup or bottle? Dummy or not?

A mummy's chest is obviously the most comfortable place for a baby to sleep but it is not a great way for us to get to sleep ourselves. There is the stress of sleeplessness, how to balance napping and the needs of everything/everyone else. Co-sleeping, bedside cot or own room? When to put them down? Routine?

And this is just the early weeks.

But you know, in just a few short years we will find it hard to recall the details of these early struggles as we will be going through different ones!

The best advice I was given when DD1 arrived was "This too shall pass: the good as well as the bad."

So when things are tough (as they are here tonight as Evan is really struggling to get comfy) then it will get better.

And when we think we have it all cracked and know what we are doing - it will all change!

SneezySnatcher Wed 17-Apr-13 01:14:59

Just had 2.5 hours sleep and feel magic! For the first night since delivery it's been calm enough to have the window open, so my room is
cooler. Henry had eaten a good amount so he was asleep. The only thing that woke me was needing the loo.

Even if I don't get back to sleep I've had some! Getting BP done in an hour.

ratbagcatbag Wed 17-Apr-13 02:49:44

Oh god, I can't do this, I am beyond tired, and I know I'm still going to have to have her upright til at least 3:10, then she will be awake atbfouragain. I'm beyond exhausted and just want to walk out the house and slee in the car sad

BonaDea Wed 17-Apr-13 03:19:24

Ragbag. I felt the same for different reasons last week. Every feed was an exercise in torture for me as I was in so much pain and whenever DS wanted a feed, which seemed like all the bloody time, I just wanted to open the door, walk out, find the nearest hotel, check in and sleep alone and unmolested for a night!

Of course I didn't do it and neither will you. This wont last forever - the famous mn expression is: this too shall pass. Someone told me to think of these early weeks just as an exercise in survival because they are so hard. All you have to do right now is survive - you and LO. The rest will get easier very soon

EssexWelsh Wed 17-Apr-13 04:16:08

Loved your message Dysgu totally summed it up for me!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 17-Apr-13 07:14:02

Ratbag I was the same Monday night. Exhausted and ready to give her away! Hang in there, hope you got some rest. It might be worth getting some advice from your community midwife?

We've had brilliant night! Faithlet has excelled herself with regular feeds - 10-15 mins BF then taking top ups. Main thing is she slept in between so so did I!!! I finally feel like she's got the idea smile maybe not far off home now which is exciting/terrifying in equal measure!

Giddypants Wed 17-Apr-13 08:43:05

I think this is about the 4th time I've clicked on this thread but not got past the first few posts, so I thought I'd mark my place and then go back to read

Mama1980 Wed 17-Apr-13 08:45:52

Morning all
Trish, how was your night? Enjoy being home! I saw the pics and I have to say again hunter is utterly gorgeous smile
Ratbag- no advice but hang on in there, you're doing amazingly well. Maybe ask the hv for some idea re sleep?

Alex was allowed home last night he's fine, ds1 seems fine but still spotty and clingy, I've just got to be super vigilant. Alex is feeding every two hours on the dot still but he has gained 4 lbs already since last week so its all worth it smile
Feeling so much better for talking properly to the drs yesterday like I know what I'm doing now and what symptoms to look out for.

Mama1980 Wed 17-Apr-13 08:46:33

Well done faithlet ! grin

ratbagcatbag Wed 17-Apr-13 09:23:20

Thanks for support everyone,,as I said yesterday I think some of the problem is the Moses basket, so my dh got into vacant DSS bed this morning and I put Lucy in with me at four, had fairly on and off sleep, but at least it's sleep, she didntbwant cuddles just space. Other big issuenis reflux, infant gaviscon has helped but she's still bad and wakes up gurgling and choking, I've got a thread going where others have been through the same so I'm going back on that asking what other meds work and then going to drs this week to specifically ask for them and I won't be fobbed off.

Interestingly when she wakes up I normally feed her and she settles, I gave bottle at 11:30, then 2:30, then at four I put her in with me, didnt even offer (forgot during sleep depravation) and she slept like I say fitfully, but due to normal gurglingsbetc which eased when I put my arm behind her head. At 6:30 she was whinging so dh got me a bottle before he left for work, again I was sleep deprived, so gave her the bottle and she had two sucks and fell asleep, normally I'd keep going with it, but thought sod it shed wake me if hungry, she did at 8:30 shock so I think the very two hours is because she's fully waking herself.

Yey to mama and faith, so pleased for you both. smile

ratbagcatbag Wed 17-Apr-13 09:24:56

I think what I'm saying about feeding is, she can go longer if she's more settled, so got to get her more settled so I get sleep. Number one priority. smile

Trishstar Wed 17-Apr-13 09:40:39

Thanks Bec he was good as gold last night xxx pee fountain in middle of night during a nappy change and a feed at 4am but apart from that a little angel with his sleep xx

Giddypants Wed 17-Apr-13 10:11:19

Yay, managed to catch up finally!
Congratulations to everyone who has managed to get out of hospital, it really is the most god awful place to get any rest, especially if you've been through an ordeal.
Loving all the pictures on Facebook, trish hunter really is a cutie!

I need a bit of a rant, a 'friend' of dh said she struggled so much when her dc2 came along, and when ds2 is here I'll be regretting having 2!
I am so beyond angry that she has said this. Yes I knew 2 would be difficult (made even harder with DS's 1 disability) but DS2 really is a dream, and how could I regret something so perfect? AIBU to think what a bitch!
Glad I got that off my chest smile

DS2 was 3 weeks yesterday, can't believe the time has gone so quickly, I'm pretty sure we have a few smiles emerging too!
Think he's having a bit of a growth spurt, he clustered for 3 hours last night, I defrosted some breast milk in the end, just to give me a half hour break. Then went to bed and he slept for 5 hours, my boobs were set to explode when he woke up!

I still haven't heeled from my c section, wound still bleeding and leaking, but I haven't been sewn together very well. Still have pain too, I know I should go to see my GP, but I really don't want to bother them, it's not infected, so not sure what they would be able to do.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 17-Apr-13 11:24:56

I'd go giddy, that doesn't sound right. Are you dressing it?

laughingGnomette Wed 17-Apr-13 11:55:41

Hello ladies, I'm actually from the April 2012 group and have just been reading through your posts - boy it brought the memories flooding back!!

Congratulations to all of you on your new arrivals, it sounds like you are doing brilliantly despite a lot of challenges.

Before you know it you'll be reading through next year's posts with a lump in your throat! smile

P.S giddy - I would get that wound seen by a gp if you can xx

Trishstar Wed 17-Apr-13 12:04:36

Giddy go to GP ASAP xx it happened like that to my friend and it eventually ended up getting infected xxx

BonaDea Wed 17-Apr-13 15:27:31

Giddy - that sounds wrong. Have it seen to before infection sets in.

Giddypants Wed 17-Apr-13 16:54:02

oh bugger, really? I feel like im just wasting their time. I really feel like it needs re sewing I think because the surgeon cut through the existing scar (which was already over grown) its having difficulty coming together. its really not a pretty job sad and its puckered at the side so that will be a big scar im not overly bothered about what it looks like just want the bloody thing to heel!

Giddypants Wed 17-Apr-13 16:57:43

no faith im not dressing it. the midwives saw it before they discharged me. and it was leaking much more than it is now they said it was ok. could I steri strip it to get the edges to come together more? if I could see it properly close up I might know what to do with it but its in such an awkward positionsad

itsaruddygame Wed 17-Apr-13 17:03:49

Giddy hope your healing soon - sounds sore.

Trish - I still occasionally get caught out with the wee fountain : )

Ratbag - hopefully you will have a better night now. I didn't have a good one - cluster fed all evening and then would not settle after the 4am feed and cluster fed for hours this morning so I didn't get much sleep. Am hoping tonight might be easier!

Sneezy - hope your home soon - hospital for a week nearly killed me! Don't know how mama did it!

Excitement for today is that I returned my rented pump and am now using a medela pump borrowed from a friend. I got twice as much milk in 10 mins than with the other pump. Am hoping I might be able to pump enough for husband to use for one feed and perhaps enough to start storing some - hurrah!

Hope everyone having a good day!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 17-Apr-13 17:06:43

I wouldn't do anything other than buy dressing pads to cover it and keep it clean. Get it seen, ideally tomorrow. My sister's got infected and she had antibiotics and nurses dressing it to get it to heal. Are they dissolvable stitches? It sounds like it needs re-stitching and the sooner the better!

Do you think this mothering lark is harder for some than others? I suspect it's often about the baby not the parent (so I to myself!).
We were geared up for home tonight but feeding is still an issue. Faithlet had a great night latching but after a bf at 8am she refused all morning. Gave her top up twice (formula) and then she went mental! Finally got her to latch and she had a good 20 minutes....I proper panicked though so they've suggested I have another night here to get more confident and teach me to express (my milk has come in) so that if we do cup feed her she's still getting breast milk. They are assuring me its because she's low birth weight but its hard not to feel like mothering isn't clicking for me like it would for some people! confused

SneezySnatcher Wed 17-Apr-13 17:48:18

Disaster today. We were discharged. I mean, properly discharged. Bags packed, meds handed over, notes gone through, CMW contacted for visit tomorrow. Just about to get Henry in car seat.

Doctor came and said goodbyes, congratulations etc. Ten minutes later he came back obviously upset. The consultant had changed his mind and said we need to get another 24 hours antibs in Henry.

I was gutted and burst into tears. The doctor was embarrassed/puzzled. The MW has insisted we complain about the lack of communication and consistency. Every day since Sunday we have been told we'll be home 'tomorrow'. They haven't kept us or the MWs informed of anything. I cannot complain about the care, which has been amazing, but the doctors are a law unto themselves.

This is what we are doing now
-MW has made them guarantee in writing we'll be home tomorrow
- we have denied any more blood tests (advice of MW) in case one rogue result knocks us back again
- we are making a complaint

If they had said at the beginning we'd be in five nights, or if they'd informed us of any changes then we'd have been five. It's the fact that we are being given such conflicting information, sometimes within minutes of each new piece.

Please remember, Henry has not and does not show act signs of infection from pprom. In fact, his blood results have been great and all the HCPs have commented on his health.

We are lucky to have a happy, healthy baby but the treatment from the doctors towards us and the MWs has been shocking!

itsaruddygame Wed 17-Apr-13 18:04:48

Sneezy - what a nightmare and how frustrating. We were p-prom and got the all clear from an infection point of view after about 3 days. Only thing that kept us in longer was jaundice and feeding. I can't believe that you have been messed around so much - communication sounds very poor. I hope you finally get home tomorrow.

Faith - it sounds like you are doing a great job - don't be hard on yourself you sound like a great mum. I felt exactly as you do in first couple of weeks - Harry was early and small and getting breast feeding established has been bloody hard work. I thought that everyone else found it easy but now I am a few weeks on and getting out/talking to other mums I realise I am not alone - it is just a bit more tricky for some of us especially if you have a particular circumstance eg small/early baby, reflux etc.

I also had a few days of baby blues in the first 2 weeks which doesn't help and being in hospital and the inability to rest properly makes it harder. Hang in there it will get easier!

miarosemum Wed 17-Apr-13 18:09:12

How exciting...postnatal thread has started! These babies are arriving so quickly now! Sneezy what does p-prom mean?

SneezySnatcher Wed 17-Apr-13 18:28:53

miarosemum P- PROM = prolonged premature rupture of membranes. Basically my waters went 24 hours before delivery.

its if he was jaundiced or anything then I'd completely understand being in (although it'd still be rubbish). This is just different people making their own decisions and not passing them on. Feeding etc has been fine from the start (much better than with DD).

Giddypants Wed 17-Apr-13 18:47:12

faith its definitely the babies not the parenting. ds1 was walked around constantly until 4 am when he would eventually srop screaming and go to sleep! ! where as ds2 is the polar oppositegrin
and I do think its the little ones who have more needs to be met. if you have tine Google dr sears and high need baby. it saved my sanity lol

miarosemum Wed 17-Apr-13 19:15:21

Sneezy I had the same and my waters had meconium in too..we were kept in overnight for ds to have obs done and then discharged the next afternoon so 24 hours in total...really feel for you, way too long!

LikeCandy Wed 17-Apr-13 20:01:29

Hi all! Can't believe I hadn't spotted this thread had started!

BabyCandy is now 3weeks & 3days old and is an angel.
For the last 3 nights she has slept for 3-4hrs at a time, the first 3 weeks were hard - she was gassy, shouty and wriggly as soon as put down in her cot (co sleeper, so it's right next to me), I had no more than an hour or so sleep spaced over the night & DH slept in the spare room. But we bought her a sleeping bag, and I gave up onions/garlic/spicy foods and one of those things obviously worked! Whether its the warmth or the diet change I don't know.

We're now averaging 12 to 15 x 20min BF feeds a day - a long gap, then a short gap, then a long gap etc etc.
Mastered lying down feeding last night (us both in our sides, facing each other) and can see them really helping at night!

We're going through 10-15 nappies a day, her poops are still rather noisy/gassy so we haven't mastered the diet yet. She's got a bit of nappy rash, we had a night where she fed constantly for 12hrs, only stopping to poop/be changed and I think having to wipe her so frequently made her sore! Getting better with metanium though!

She got back to her birthweight on Monday. Gained 200g in 6days - I think the initial weight loss was due to my milk coming in late (day 6) but it's certainly in now - it pours out of me!

It's so good to read how everyone is in similar positions!

sneezy I'll cross everything for you that they keep their word about tomorrow!

giddy my scar for infected, 5 days of antibiotics did nothing but it's looking ok now. it's a lot less painful since its cleared up too!
I tried to wear normal trousers/pants yesterday, not a good idea and rubbed on the scar all day, looks like I'll be sticking with big knickers and maternity trousers for a while longer!!

bunnygirl80 Wed 17-Apr-13 21:58:43

giddy I'm going to pile in with everyone else and say get your scar seen to. It's going to consume much less of you and the gp's time if it just needs redressing than if you wait till it's oozing pus and you're ill.

sneezy that sounds terrible. Hope you escape soon. If you and the mws are happy you really are safe to leave then could you just discharge yourself?

faith hope things start to feel easier for you soon. I found everything completely overwhelming after DS came along. I think it was partly him and partly my total inexperience with babies. Every time he cried I'd panic and cry myself. This time around has been much better, dd is more relaxed and so am I! I'm sure as you get to know faithlet you'll both find it easier. I'm all for staying in hospital till you're feeling confident too, I used the private hospital here because you automatically get a five night stay, so I left with feeding established both times.

ratbagcatbag Wed 17-Apr-13 23:40:01

Sneezy - my waters went at 6am on the weds, I delivered Lucy 14:37 the following day, so over 24 hours, the reason I stayed in unil sat was because I wanted to crack breast feeding, which never happened, otherwise they were kicking me out on the Friday lunch time. Hope you ge it sorted.

toobreathless Thu 18-Apr-13 00:40:50


Celeste is now 10 days old and weighs 7 lb 1 today (weighed by HV) she is the sweetest little thing.

Sleep is going pretty well and she will happily settle in her baby nest although I do swaddle sometimes to get her to sleep- naughty me. She is a real cluster feeder & can feed almost non stop for 3 hours usually on the evenings which is exhausting! The positive side of this is that she will the go up to 6 hrs overnight which with a lively almost 2 year old is a god send!

She does have rather revolting green poos (like mown grass) is a VERY 'sicky' baby and is being quite slow to gain weight. I do have a fast let down which might be related, but DD1 was almost identical and has CMP Allergy. Sigh! I have a feeling we might be doing down the same route with C, not going to do anything other than watch & see how her weight goes for now.

its I have a Mendela Swing, it is amazing.

likecandy lovely to read your update & so pleased baby candy is doing so well.

giddy I also agree a trip to the GP is on order, it's quite rare to re stitch them, usually if they open back up they are just left to heal naturally big they might want to give you antibiotics, send a swab or arrange for the nurses to dress it/keep an eye on it.

laughing nice of you to pop in! April is a lovely time to give birth isn't it? But I would say that as I had babies in April 2011 & April 2013!

faith sounds like you are doing a great job! Keep going. Our babies are as individual as we are and some are harder work either through circumstance or personality. Hope you have lots of help lined up for when you get home?

bunnygirl80 Thu 18-Apr-13 05:53:52

too is swaddling bad? We're encouraged to keep them swaddled until they can roll here!

Dd gave me her first smiles today grin She's doing a 5-6 hour stint between feeds overnight too, which is good because DS appears to be dropping his nap so I've got no chance of catching up in the day

Giddypants Thu 18-Apr-13 09:47:23

I've got a gp appointment today at 11. See what they say.

SneezySnatcher Thu 18-Apr-13 09:52:39

Hello! TODAY WE ARE GOING HOME!!! Thank goodness. I am so excited. Got to wait for last lot of antibs at 2 and then we are free!

They did Henry's Guthrie test and weigh-in as it's day five.
Henry was 9lb 4.5oz at birth and he now weighs...9lb 9oz. Instead of losing some weight as expected, he's gained 4.5oz! He has been feeding well and going for long periods between feeds so it seems that BF is going really well.

Finally some better news! Hope everyone else and their little ones are well.

lutrinae Thu 18-Apr-13 12:08:06

Hooray Sneezy that is great news! You must be doing excellently with feeding, well done both of you.

Arthur was weighed yesterday and is nearly 9 lb after losing some of his birthweight and BF is going really well for me now smile

He was a bit unsettled this morning, and has done 2 huge pee fountains during changes. One all over me and one on DP. Er, bless. hmm

ratbagcatbag Thu 18-Apr-13 13:32:21

Back from drs with an emergency paeditrician referral for reflux to get some serious meds to control it, also ordered a sleep wedge to be delivered tomorrow which I think will help. smile

ElliesWellies Thu 18-Apr-13 13:41:10

Hi all,

Completely new to this thread but have been reading through - many congratulations to you all on your new babies.

Had DD on 3rd April, also have 2 y.o. DS, finding the juggling act really hard! Luckily DD is a star really, she does cluster feed but then has good stretches of sleep, often 4 hours at a time. Long may it last, though I fear it won't... By some miracle they are both napping at the same time, right now.

Anyone got any good tips for occupying toddler whilst breastfeeding? Mine is over-enthusiastic, which is lovely and he loves to give her kisses etc, but I keep having to fend him off a little as I'm worried he'll hurt her.

bunnygirl80 Thu 18-Apr-13 18:15:17

Yay sneezy, hope the transfer home goes well. And well done on the feeding, that's impressive

ratbag good news about the referral. Hope dd gets sorted soon.

ellie welcome to the thread! My dd arrived on 23rd March (although she was due in April!) and my DS is almost 2.5. I'm a bad bad mother and I bought him a load of DVDs to watch while I'm feeding. I've also developed the ability to walk and feed at the same time so I can get up and pass him toys if he does decide he wants to play. My final trick is that he eats around every three hours, and dd feeds every 3-4, so I wake dd to feed her when DS is having a snack or his lunch. I try and eat something at the same time too, so we're all fed and happy and ready to play once she finishes the feed. I'm very lucky that she naturally goes that long between feeds though

Mama1980 Thu 18-Apr-13 18:20:02

Yay sneezy and Henry grin thanks
Glad you saw the gp ratbag and hope things improve.
Alex is still fine thank goodness, he loved laying about in the garden in the sunshine today. He is massively cluster feeding which i Am encouraging on the drs advice, my antibodies are his best defence again catching chicken pox.
My poor breasts are bashed Up though, months of pumping and then hungry boy=pain! If anyone has any suggestions I'd be grateful, nipples are pretty swollen though the cuts have healed.

Mama1980 Thu 18-Apr-13 18:23:10

Welcome Ellie, glad to have you join us smile I was due the 1stf April but ds arrived at 24 weeks, we got home just ver two weeks ago. Also have a dd14 and a ds5 (just) I have found ds really interested n 'helping' fetch me pillows etc when breast feeding, i also try to read to him/ hear him read at the same time, maybe that could work? X

ElliesWellies Thu 18-Apr-13 21:15:52

Thanks bunnygirl - yes have to admit there is an awful lots of CBeebies on in this house at the moment! Funny you say about the walking and feeding - I could never do it with DS but have suddenly developed the ability with DD. Good idea re: all eating at the same time.

Gosh Mama1980, 24 weeks, glad you are now home ok and congratulations. DS is often very helpful too, but as he is only 2 it tends to alternate with doing very unhelpful things! I will try and get him on the sofa with a stack of books and see how it goes.

num3onway Thu 18-Apr-13 21:31:06

My ds aged 3 has learnt nearly every song off cbeebies now

ElliesWellies Thu 18-Apr-13 21:50:18

Haha, mine too. I keep hearing snippets while he is playing with his toys, e.g. a random 'dishes and spoons, splish splash splosh'. Ten points if you can name the programme! grin

num3onway Thu 18-Apr-13 21:52:21

Oh god no I block it out. Ds likes the monkey thing and Mr tumble who I find creepy but not sure why!

birdbrain17 Thu 18-Apr-13 22:03:44

just marking my place so I can join in the fun on this thread also now that I have my precious little girl grin will read the thread when I have time! x

BonaDea Thu 18-Apr-13 22:25:27

On the swaddle point - I do!

And find it definitely helps DS get into a deeper sleep. For the first time last night I also played him white noise - surprisingly loud - and he slept brilliantly and in the co sleeper instead of on me. A friend recommended the technique and I have to say it worked brilliantly. Of course I had to listen to the babbling brook all night too but hey...

HadALittleFaithBaby Fri 19-Apr-13 00:31:38

Hi all, a quick update from me. We've had a very long day but I do believe with the help of nipple shields Faithlet has cracked breast feeding! She was started at 8am then had a cluster feed and was on/off every 20-40 mins for about 4 hours! Then she had a good feed so I got DH to settle her and we both slept (ah sleep, how I missed you!). Only problem I've had is settling her in the cot. She did with DH when he held her for an hour first! So she's just fed for 20 mins and I'm hoping if I cuddle her for ages she will settle, otherwise I'm handing her to the staff!

HadALittleFaithBaby Fri 19-Apr-13 00:49:50

Oops pressed too soon then got distracted feeding!59

Welcome Ellies! Our ante-natal thread was busy but things are steadier on here as more babies emerge!

ratbagcatbag Fri 19-Apr-13 01:34:29

Yey well done faithlet
Hello Ellie, boy we can natter in here, we also have a fb group,if you wish to be outed and come see pics, some are on it, others aren't, no worries either way smile
Just checking in as done a feed,DH in DSS bed tonight, obv DSS at his mums else that would be a tight squeeze, so mini rat is able to sprawl as madam requires and my arm under her head helps her with the reflux. This means, wait for it, I got two hours sleep before bed when DH had dd, then from 10 until 12 with dd uninterrupted, as she's just doing the sitting up for another five mins I'm hoping for another hour. Yey!!

Just a quick opinion, visited childminder tonight, I absolutely love them ,they're New, only started in jan, but as soon as I walked in they just wanted snuggles with dd, sod my interaction with us grin and every vibe I got was good, should I just go with them ,or compare others? I've had phone conversations with several, but not arranged meetings with others as they just haven't felt right. As dd will be five months when i leave her I just want someone who's going to love and cuddle her in my absence, I'm not bothered about the other stuff!!

Giddypants Fri 19-Apr-13 08:57:35

Welcome Ellie x

Well I saw the gp yesterday, she said it wasn't infected but really badly sewn and that is why it's still leaking. She has prescribed me anti-biotics but said not to take them unless it starts oozing with pus, or I feel systemically unwell.
I had coffee morning with some friends from work yesterday, one girl has had a baby 7 weeks before ds2 and said that her wound had only just healed last week! So I may be in for a long haul with it sad

Does anyone else not have the ability to put their baby down? I just want to cuddle him all the time, or maybe it's just an excuse not to do the house work blush

Mama1980 Fri 19-Apr-13 09:41:10

Morning all
Yep giddy am totally with you! After the total torture of months unable to touch Alex I'm just never putting him down! grin Forget the house baby snuggles are much more important.

num3onway Fri 19-Apr-13 09:49:57

With regards to a child minder I would make sure you are happy with everything safety wise. I would personally choose a nursery over a child minder any day but that is my opinion. I think child minding is an absolute mine field. A good day nursry will never have a member of staff alone with a child, they likely have CCTV, people who come I to contact with children are supervised adequately and crb checked. With childminders yes anyone in the house had a crb check. But not visitors. And can you be sure the childminder won't leave the room with a visitor there?
Don't want to scare anyone! I just dislike the situation.

PeachActiviaMinge Fri 19-Apr-13 10:09:48

Utterly jealous of you all with lovely snuggly babies! Due today but stubborn fidgety little boy shows no signs of making his appearence and DD was 8 days late so am not holding out much hope.

Congratulations on all the lovely newbons though!

HadALittleFaithBaby Fri 19-Apr-13 10:51:58

I would probably look at another child minder just to be certain about my decision but it sounds good ratbag.

Having tried to comfort my baby for 3 days solid I quite enjoy putting her down so we can both rest but its different circumstances, isn't it? I love when she gazes up at me when I am holding her smile

Poor Peach it must be frustrating! Hope it happens soon.

Well I am a happy Mummy because I finally have a contented baby. Just waiting for approval from doc but we should be going home this afternoon! grin

SneezySnatcher Fri 19-Apr-13 11:55:44

Bit of a black day today. Had a visit from a MW as it's our first day at home. Obviously everything is fine with Henry and she was impressed with his weight gain etc. she hadn't realised about the delivery so when she looked at my notes and saw about the abruption/crash section/blood transfusion she was shocked and kept going on about how serious it was and how we almost died. I knew this but I've been trying not to think about it.

Then DH saw neighbours and told them baby was here. They said they knew because they had heard me in labour 'either that or it was a really good orgasm.' Now I know this was just a stupid comment and they were trying to be funny but it's really upset me (I think it was the final straw). It horrifies me that they heard me at such a private time, especially when the labour went so dramatically wrong.

I have come upstairs to cry while DD and DS are with DH. I feel like now I've started I'll never stop.

toobreathless Fri 19-Apr-13 14:13:27

sneezy stupid MW! I honestly think you wouldn't be normal If you weren't a bit all over the place after Henry's birth. Be kind to yourself, especially with a toddler too & an unplanned CS, hope you have lots of support? Neighbours sound like idiots, ignore them, what a silly comment. I think I may have traumatised my neighbours for life who I've not met and came over to look after DD. There was me screaming 'I think I'm doing a poo' at the top of my voice (that was the head!) and they don't have kids blush

toobreathless Fri 19-Apr-13 14:18:50

peach was also absolutely convinced I would go well over this time as DD1 was induced for being so late- I never went into labour by myself. DD2 arrived very, very quickly at 40 + 1 so there is hope smile

faith hope you get home today,

ratbagcatbag Fri 19-Apr-13 14:49:22

Sneezy, my birth was fine and I still felt exactly the same as you when I got home, I even cried this morning because of the stupid postman, and I'm five weeks on, please don't worry about the comment it was made in good humour and they don't know the finer more worrying details. Have a good cry and I found I felt lots better after that. Big hugs.

ratbagcatbag Fri 19-Apr-13 14:53:04

Num3 - see your point about childminders, however I muc prefer mature childminders than just left school teenagers on minimum wage in a nursery, I know they'll be crb checked but I really find nurserys not ideal for babies. smile I like them for when dd is older though.
I did ring a couple more this morning, but only one has availability and I again didn't click, I've now rang my lovely ladies back and we are sorting the finer details out. smile

ElliesWellies Fri 19-Apr-13 17:48:37

Sneezy that is so insensitive of them, MW and neighbours. People just do not think before they open their mouths, sometimes.

As my grandma said to me the other day, it is hard enough dealing with a newborn, let alone a newborn and a toddler, let alone if the labour was particularly traumatic. My labour was fairly straightforward this time, although had shoulder dystocia, thankfully all sorted quickly enough before it got too scary and no lasting effect for DD. But was followed by a post-partum haemorrhage and a really bad infection (maternal sepsis), meaning I would have died without urgent medical attention. It turned into a scene out of 'Casualty' very quickly.

I think it takes time for you to mull over something like that, and you just don't have that time with young children. Hence it will come back and just hit you at random moments.

I have been home nearly two weeks and I still get the horrors when I think of what could have been. Be easy on yourself. Probably best to cry and try to process it all.

ElliesWellies Fri 19-Apr-13 18:03:38

Thank you all for the welcome messages smile.

KatyT86 Fri 19-Apr-13 18:52:25

Hi all,

Needed to rant.

We went to see my partners mum and dad yesterday. I've always found his mum to be a bit overbearing of him. He's an only child and very mollycoddled. She waits on him hand and foot and he can do no wrong.

They have pestered none stop to come over and 'help', telling me I must have baby stay over with them ASAP (even though I'm breastfeeding, and I'm actually not ready myself - he's less than a month old!) and making me feel like when my partner is at work, i can't cope on my own. they've made a full blown nursery at their house. She tells me off for making comments like calling him a monster (it's affectionate!), tells me in disturbing him when I take him out of the car seat (which I was advised to so) or feed/change him, makes her own little digs about me not 'relinquishing my grip' little things like that. She thinks its ridiculous I want to take him to groups like baby massage, or mum and baby swimming, pretending to plead with me to 'leave him be'. She tends to visit when others Are there and hogs bubs so others can't see him. I'd tried to be lovely, saying we could go shopping together and I'm actually the one encouraging OH to visit them - mainly to avoid them popping in, mind! But still...

What really hurt though, is yesterday I saw that where there was a frame with a scan photo of bubs (which we bought them before he arrived) was now a photo of her, my partner and baby. It had his name and date he was born on the bottom. I think it was a card she's Sent around to tell people of his birth. Selfishly, I'm upset that I'm not even in it - or that we were told she was doing that. He's our baby, and we are sending out thank yous and photos ourselves. I feel very toe trodden. Halfway through out visit, the photo disappeared and ours returned, so i think she knows it would upset me and had obviously forgot to change photo before we arrived.

We're not married, and had a long conversation about naming baby his last name or mine. We will marry one day, so stuck with his - but it has made me feel a little like the odd out anyway, so this is just making me feel worse sad

I want to broach the subject with OH (I really wanted to ask about photo at the time!) but don't want to put OH in a difficult position.

I know it's all trivial, so guess that's why I'm venting on here, just to whinge!

Sorry for pathetic message, I feel better though! X

ratbagcatbag Fri 19-Apr-13 19:11:02

Argh. What a nightmare Katy, I'm a bit of a cow so I'd challenge her but f you're not up to it, just smile and nod, or say something non committal like "yes well it's my baby and I'm doing it this way, so what have you been up too" whilst smiling through gritted teeth

I would just let her be nutso about the pics, but do mention how hurt you were to dp, don't bite, you are mummy, you know you're mummy and you are doing the best for your baby.

lutrinae Fri 19-Apr-13 20:01:22

Hi all,
Having thought I'd 'cracked' BF (latch is all fine now etc.) am now encountering another problem.

DS keeps unlatching, crying for more, I latch him on again, he sucks a bit then wriggles off and fusses again.
I'm also feeling a weird pins and needles prickly sensation in my breast during and after feeding.

It's driving me mental! Any ideas anyone?

HadALittleFaithBaby Fri 19-Apr-13 21:54:38

lutrinae we had this. Only nipple shields allowed her to latch properly although they were deemed a stop gap...have you considered contacting a BF support group? Tried the bf board here?

katy she sounds very odd. Can you keep your distance for a bit? Certainly while baby is so young!

We are home. It's scary without the staff as a safety net but lovely to have nursed our baby in our bed! Especially since DH changed the sheets! smile

Mama1980 Fri 19-Apr-13 22:04:07

I got a real live miracle didn't I? Oh god, I'm trying to advise someone with a similar decision to that which I faced pregnant with alex and was given crappy odds. Just looked at my posts again, the odds I was given....I really got a real miracle, the stuff of dreams didn't I?

LikeCandy Fri 19-Apr-13 22:25:23

lutrinae I have similar here. From a quick google I think it might be over supply or overactive letdown? It's like the first few mouthfuls of milk come out too fast for her.
She also fusses when she's pooping/peeing, she obviously can't multitask yet!
I think Faiths suggestion is worth a try, I'm going to try and get to the BF support group next week and see what they suggest.

katy what an awkward situation to be in, I'd be pretty peeved too! I'm no good with advice but I hope you get things sorted.

I had my first crazy hormonal new mum moment - DH, baby and I were in Debenhams, I wanted to try something on so DH took pram. When I came out of the changing room they weren't there. I cried like a baby! Obviously DH had taken her as he thinks I'm doing an awful job - no answer when I rang him, straight to answer phone (there's no signal!) I wandered round and couldn't find them anywhere. More tears! I found them what felt like hours later (it was probably only 2 minutes!!) and cried some more. DH had just taken her for a walk to rock her back to sleep when she'd woken.
I am a mad woman!!

LikeCandy Fri 19-Apr-13 22:28:46

Oh mama [hugs] didn't you just, Alex is a lucky boy, you should be proud at what you are both achieving and what you've been through smile

BonaDea Fri 19-Apr-13 23:44:54

Lutriane - could it be thrush? I am talking incessantly about it because we're trying to get over a bout now and I just so wish I had known about it before.

Your LO could have oral thrush which is hurting his mouth during feeds. He'll then have passed it to your nipples and that could potentially have gone into your breast tissue.

Symptoms for LO are fussing at the breast and thick white patches forming on his tongue and / or gums. Symptoms for you would be red/ dark pink nipples, pain during and after feeding getting worse and eventually feeling like burning or broken glass inside the breast. Seriously sore and horrible

Have a look online at symptoms etc. it is totally treatable but would need both of you to be treated as you pass it back and forth. Anyway, just a thought and hopefully it isn't thrush at all!!

itsaruddygame Sat 20-Apr-13 07:24:59

Mama - it is truly amazing how well Alex has done. You were never going to give up on him and he was clearly determined to be your son from the start.

Katy - you MIL sounds like a pain in the arse! I would be upset as well. My in laws (who are over seas) have not even sent a card and DS is almost 6 weeks old. This is after years of sending Christmas gifts for 2 SIL's children and barely ever getting a card or thank you. I really feel like not bothering again!

Lutraine - definatley get checked out for thrush although the tingly feeling sounds like what I get during let down. DS also fusses during some feeds but not others - evenings he is especially fractious and pops on and off whilst making some quite funny noises just to let us all know how he is feeling!

We had a couple of tough nights but last night was great - happy days! I am also excited as am managing to pump enough milk for DH to do a feed without resorting to a formula top up. I finally feel that breast feeding is working for me but it has taken almost 6 weeks to get to this point with a lot of discomfort and exhaustion mixed in!

Mama - how are your nipples? I only had to pump regularly for 2 weeks and that was pretty bad! DS has also been feeding what feels like constantly. How long does Alex feed for? I think we are getting slightly quicker in the day but night feeds are usually an hour plus and then he often wants more an hour later : )

lutrinae Sat 20-Apr-13 08:48:48

Thanks likecandy and bona. Having looked into both of these I think it could be either, but not sure which eek. Nothing obvious enough like white spots to confirm thrush. I guess I'll keep an eye on it over the weekend and contact my GP on Monday.

lutrinae Sat 20-Apr-13 08:49:42

Thanks * ruddy* also!

Giddypants Sat 20-Apr-13 08:54:18

Mama, Alex is truly a little miracle x

Giddypants Sat 20-Apr-13 09:32:31

Bugger posted too soon.

Mama, take time for yourself also, you have been through the mill too and it may take some time to hit you how hard you both have had to fight.
I can only speak from personal experience (from DS1 birth) I found that once the dust had settled the whole force of the trauma hit me, (was around 7 months after) and suffered PTSD and needed a lot of counciling for the flashbacks. I'm not saying that you'll be the same, as I had other factors which put me under more stress at that time, but be aware that it can happen and seek help before it gets too much xx

ElliesWellies Sat 20-Apr-13 11:08:07

lutrinae Also are you winding your son frequently? Some babies seem to need it more than others. My DD often comes off and fusses, and sometimes seems to be breastfeeding to ease the discomfort of trapped wind rather than because she is always hungry. Often keeping her upright for a while (not while feeding!) helps, and sitting her up when she has finished on each breast.

The pins and needles sounds like the let-down reflex to me - I get it as well and got it last time with DS and wasn't anything to worry about.

aufaniae Sat 20-Apr-13 12:38:52

Katy, your MIL is being unacceptably overbearing and nuts. It's not her place to tell you how to raise your baby, although she obviously thinks it is. I would find someone trying to talk me into leaving my baby very stressful indeed. I didn't leave DS with anyone until he was 1!

Ideally, you need to find a way to keep her at arms length (easier said than done I expect!). It's not trivial. She is actively undermining you as a mother, and you need backup from your DP to draw a line - this is your baby, not hers, she needs to stop with the comments and let you find your own way as a mother (sounds like you have better mothering instincts than her anyhow wink)

How often does she come round?

lutrinae Sat 20-Apr-13 13:42:22

Ellies yes, am winding him pretty much every time he comes off as he appears to need it. I'm not very good at it yet! Maybe I'll hold him upright for a bit longer.
I am erring towards let down too. The only thing that's confusing me is the lingering tenderness in my boobs and nipples. But maybe that's still just getting used to BF.

Katy you have my sympathies, I have no advice as I am a pushover when dealing with family/conflict, but I hope things get better. YourMIL sounds like a mare!

EmpressMatilda Sat 20-Apr-13 18:09:56

Hi all. I feel like I can join this thread now smile.

Thanks to all of you who wished Sam and I the best, especially those who sent personal messages and contributed to the blanket. It really helps in difficult times to know there are people out there wishing you well.

Sam's heart is being monitored for 24 hours and if the doctors are satisfied he will be discharged on Monday. Originally this meant 'moved to the hospital in Bath' but there is now a crazy rumour we might get to go home! Given that this time last week the doctor said the words 'biggest tumour I''ve ever seen in a newborn' and 'things aren't looking good for him to be honest' I can't quite believe we're at this stage!

I am struggling with breastfeeding as Sam was fed through a tube until a couple of days ago. I am managing to express but can usually only manage about 10ml of treadmill to add to each bottle. I have tried him on the breast but he just screams which is upsetting.

We are bonding well otherwise though. I like to think he can actually distinguish his mother from all the nurses who have been looking after him!

I will have a look through the thread and catch up with all your baby news so I can learn whose baby is whose!!!

EmpressMatilda Sat 20-Apr-13 18:22:27


That's one of the stranger autocorrects.

ElliesWellies Sat 20-Apr-13 18:47:37

Hi EmpressMatilda, I am new to this thread and haven't seen your story, but just want to send you and Sam all the best, and really hope you get home soon.

Trishstar Sat 20-Apr-13 19:27:00

Empress so happy to hear that update on Sam! Xxxx

HadALittleFaithBaby Sat 20-Apr-13 19:51:33

I'm so pleased to see you here Empress and delighted to hear about Samuel's progress!

We have had ups and downs. Breast feeding is gradually improving and Faithlet is latching more often without the nipple shields. Last night I had a feeling something wasn't right about 3am. I picked her up and she felt cold - the heating was on very low because I'd been so hot in pregnancy and we never thought to turn it up when we got back from hospital confused - Her breathing was variable and quite slow at one point (utterly terrfying) so although she warmed up and stirred after contacting 111 we ended up in A&E with a 4 hour wait. Course she was fine the whole time! Doc thinks it was a one off but it's made me a bit nervy. Do make sure your babies are warm enough! I feel so crap about it sad We have the angel care monitor set up so hopefully I'll relax enough to sleep a bit tonight! I really want a relaxed night at home!

In tmi news, I have a huge pile! It is so very sore. Thank goodness for anusol! What with the tear/stitches healing, I feel my undercarriage will never be the same again.

Empress stick with the expressing because hopefully your milk will come through soon...have you asked for BF advice from the staff? I'm sure he can tell you're his Mum! He knows your voice, your smell!
It's natural instinct smile

angeltattoo Sat 20-Apr-13 20:14:02

Hi everyone,

Checking in as my baby is here, yay!!! Have copied my update from our ante-natal board:

Isobel Anna was born on Thursday 7 lbs 10oz

My waters went on Weds morning, contactions started 1am Thursday morning, dozed trough them until 4.30am, got to hospital at 6.30am, examined and was 6cm by 8.30am, taken to labour ward, asked for epidural, 1st anaethetist could not do it, luckily a second one managed, examined at 11.30 and was 10cm. I knew I would be from the amount of pain! However, eodural relief kicked in and I rested for an hour, then pushed for an hour. Needed vontous, she was born at 1:48pm

We stayed in overnight, came home yesterday afternoon. She seems to be feeding ok, midwife was pleased today, now just waiting for milk to come in and hoping I can manage to feed her. Today Daddy did her first wash, and we went out for a very small first walk in the pram. She has slept a lot today, so hoping she is getting enough (feeding for 45-60 mins every 3-4 hours, if anyone has any wisdom?)

I have a 2nd degree tear which is stiched, am weeing okay, and stocking up on laxativesbas very scared of the first poo! <TMI emoticion!>

My family are visiting tomorrow, I cannot wait for them to meet our daughter.

Off to read rest of thread now xx

Mama1980 Sat 20-Apr-13 20:27:29

So thrilled to see you here empress grin made my day to hear how well sam is doing! What a little star! Hang on in there with the breast feeding I got not much for ages then suddenly my supply just kicked in. He knows you, dont worry you are his mum every instinct he has is telling him that you are mum, you are food, you are safety. I was so petrified of this detachment with Alex after being away from him for so long, but I needn't have been he knew me in the same way I knew him. He would respond to my voice, relax to my heartbeat. I promise you sam knows your his mum xxx

Sorry for my panicked post last night, it all just kind of hit me and I started shaking - I'm just not ready. I So wanted to offer helpful advice and support but I'm just not there yet. All i Could think about was the horror of me possibly giving her false hope but at the same time if I'd listened to the drs.......I cannot bear to think. I feel bad but I just cannot go there yet. I hope that makes sense anti don't sound horribly selfish.

Alex is feeding every two hours 24 hours a day for about 20 minutes at a time. He is so so hungry. My one and only attempt at using a bottle of expressed milk was a total disaster so I won't be trying that again in a hurry! One nipple has improved the left is just a cut up mess. I asked the hv for advice but she told me it is just the frequency of his feeds and his voracity nothing wrong with the latch etc so its just a case of bearing it I think.
Thankfully no sign of the dreaded pox on Alex, ds1 is much better as well. I'm so relieved.
I will name check properly later, sorry one handed here hope everyone is well

Mama1980 Sat 20-Apr-13 20:28:15

Congratulations angel! grin thanks And welcome to the world Isobel xxx

LikeCandy Sat 20-Apr-13 21:41:39

Congrats angel! Welcome to the world isobelsmile

empress what fantastic news!

faith our house is cold not as warm as it could be, we're maxing out at about 18deg at the moment. we're using a 2.5tog sleeping bag for babycandy at night and during the day she's either snuggled up on one of us, or under a blanket in her crib. to be honest I hadn't considered her being too chilly as unsafe, all the SIDS info says to ensure they aren't too warm. you've certainly made me think again, glad it turned out ok for you!

LikeCandy Sat 20-Apr-13 21:42:22

Also - babycandy is 4weeks old today! <3

angeltattoo Sun 21-Apr-13 02:27:38

Have caught up now.

Mama, no doubt about it, Alex is amazing, he gets that from his mummy ;-)

Empress, so glad to see you here and hear talk of Sam coming home.

Hmmm, well I spoke too soon re: BF. after feeding every 3-4 hrs in the day, madam has now been feeding for 5.5 hrs. No idea if she is getting any milk, and she has had a dry nappy since teatime. Am I failing totally?

EssexWelsh Sun 21-Apr-13 05:50:05

No you are not failing angel as you haven't given up!

Have you got the phone numbers for breast feeding helplines? I can dig mine out when I get up (in bed currently with LO latched on!) or just try googling them? Mine fed for 2 hours last night and only stopped when I physically took him off as he was getting almost angry at the boob as he'd emptied it I think! But I have no advice as a novice myself, sorry, so you'd best call them.

HadALittleFaithBaby Sun 21-Apr-13 07:42:21

angel if I had a pound for every time I thought I was failing the last week I'd be rich now!

Are you waking her to feed? Sometimes Faithlet only feeds properly if I change her bum and do skin to skin first. How long does she feed for? Do you feel she's latched well?

Well after Friday's nightmare I'm pleased to say we had a steady night! Woke every couple of hours to feed except 3am when has to do the waking. That time she was on the breast for about 1h 30m and we were both shattered. Gave her 50ml top up of expressed breast milk a cup and she finally seemed full. DH then took her to the lounge to chill because she took ages to settle. We've all had a few hours here and there which is great! As of 7.22 she's officially a week old!

mama given your circumstances it's totally understandable that you'd step back at times and feel shocked at whats happened. Keep talking about it, it'll help!

Giddypants Sun 21-Apr-13 11:35:49

Can I ask a quick question? What if any apnoea mats are you using, I have a to mere tippee one which works under the Moses basket mattress but not under the cot bed mattress which typically ds2 prefers to sleep in!

angeltattoo Sun 21-Apr-13 12:05:15

Hi all,

Thank you! Is there anything as lonely as 4am?!

I have all the numbers, breastfeeding books and leaflets are littered everywhere! grin we also have clinic on Tuesday, and I'm aiming to go to a BF group or ten this week.

Faith, yesterday I was waking her 3-4 hourly for a change and feed, And she was feeding for about an hour each time, then bam! Did this at 9pm, she pretty much fed until 9am, yes that's right, nearly 12 hours!!! I got ten minutes, twenty minutes then an hours sleep. My H slept through, I handed her to him at 9am, then I woke up at 10.15, have just fed her again, and he's asleep hmm bastard! not that he is lactating, but still

She is now asleep on me, so maybe I just have a nightowl? My nipples seem ok, no worse after one bad feed yesterday that made one of them bleed, so I assume the latch is generally ok? She seems fine, but her dirty nappies have slowed down, so i am worried she is not getting any colostrum. I was hoping my milk might have come in this morning, but nothing yet, it is day 3 here, come on milk!!!

num3onway Sun 21-Apr-13 12:29:34

We have an angelcare movement monitor but haven't used it yet, not planning on using it til she goes in to her own room.
This breastfeeding lark sounds hard work! I take my hat off too you all!
We are on day 19, dd was last weighed on day 13 and weighed 8lb 15. So expecting she is well over 9 now. She had outgrown next first size, and is filling the up to one month stuff nicely!
I bought a grobag which came with a room thermometer which has opened my eyes to how warm I have my house! Currently lit up at 21 (warm) + 24 (hot). Gonna start gradually turning it down now as weather is improving anyway!

HadALittleFaithBaby Sun 21-Apr-13 12:37:59

Apparently your milk production is better overnight which might explain the night feeds.

4am is lonely! Last night I got DH to do the post 4am settling which helped.

I have the angel care monitor but Faithlet has taken to sleeping in her Moses basket...

ElliesWellies Sun 21-Apr-13 13:16:21

angeltattoo - That sounds really hard. She is your first I take it? I know everyone says sleep when baby sleeps, but really, do it. Sleep and just leave the dirty dishes for a while - you need to get some rest.

Milk usually comes around days 3-5 I think, so keep going, hard as it is!

Also - make sure you are drinking enough - a glass of water an hour.

ElliesWellies Sun 21-Apr-13 13:32:29

Oh and also - I remember it being really hectic with DS when he was trying to get the milk in. Not abnormal to be on and off the breast for hours at a time.

birdbrain17 Sun 21-Apr-13 17:23:03

Everyone has told me it just takes time to establish breastfeeding so those of you struggling hopefully it will get better!!!baby bird is quite unpredictable with feeds, she's feeding every 3 hours but sometimes for 15mins sometimes 50 hmm but it's day 5 today and the mw came earlier and said she's at her birth weight so guess she's getting enough...

anyone else find that their baby gets upset when being changed, she absolutely screams when I try change her and throws herself around so then I can't get her nappy on properly and it leaks...

LikeCandy Sun 21-Apr-13 19:24:29

angel my milk came in day 6, apparently it often comes in late with c-sections. keep at it!

bird yes, babycandy HATES being changed! the easiest time is when she's 'milk drunk' but any other time she shouts all the way through.

anyone else have a pukey baby? babycandy has started being sick after most meals. sometimes just a teaspoon full, sometimes what looks like loads. any ideas what might be causing it or how I can stop it?

num3onway Sun 21-Apr-13 20:06:39

We got passed screaming nappy changes at about 14 days so there is hope. I think they just arent used to being messed with!

Mama1980 Sun 21-Apr-13 20:33:40

Yep bird, totally with you Alex hates having his nappy change doesn't scream much but wriggles and fights like a little worm, he also pees everywhere the second you take off the nappy! I've found speed is the key.
We had a lovely day today got out in the sunshine for a bit.
Does anyone else have a baby who just doesn't want to sleep? Alex s just awake all the time I resorted to reading to him last night, and ds1 woke up so I ended up reading to them both at stupid o clock. Was a lot of fun but don't want to make a habit of it!
We have a hv check tomorrow and then hospital for me, for another check up.

num3onway Sun 21-Apr-13 20:54:03

Dd is awake for about a four hour period every day. Sometimes at sociable hours other times not!

toobreathless Sun 21-Apr-13 23:01:59

Hello Ladies & beautiful babies grin

like candy bringing up a bit (or even quite a lot!) of milk after a feed is entirely normal. As long as she is gaining weight well & not unduly distressed (which might be a sign of reflux) then just keep a muslin (or six) handy. I also put one under their head in the pram/cot so I only have to change that not start washing covers/sheets. I'm on my second very sicky baby & still put the baby on one shoulder & the muslin on the other resulting in sick all the way down my back!

angel that sounds like pretty normal behaviour for a brand new baby to me. All that sucking will also encourage your milk to come in. Make sure she is having plenty of wet and dirty nappies as sometimes if your milk comes in a bit late they can lose a bit too much weight. C lost 11% by day 3 so we were referred to Paeds and she is now totally breastfed & fine.

Tomorrow DH goes back to work leaving me with BOTH of them (DD1 23 months & DD2 2 weeks) we are off to a toddler music and dance class in the morning where I hope C will sleep so I can dance around in a sleep deprived haze to 'the wheels on the bus.' Then we are hoping to go to Sainsburys if I haven't totally lost the plot by this point, just to get a few bits (balloons, cake) for DD1s second birthday on Tuesday. If someone could shake me and tell me that its ok not to worry about making a homemade cake when you have a newborn that would be great as I'm feeling guilty!

Wishing everyone a peaceful night!

num3onway Sun 21-Apr-13 23:09:04

My eldest is five and I've never made him or ds2 a homemade birthday cake. I don't think they would thank me if I did!

toobreathless Sun 21-Apr-13 23:21:27

Thank you num3 that will do nicely grin

ratbagcatbag Mon 22-Apr-13 00:12:32

Tonight's going to be horrendous, I'm sat here in tears already sad I can't cope with dd having reflux, she's fast asleep on me upright, I lie her down on mattress and wedge for reflux and it doesn't work, within minutes she's choking and gurgling, within 20 she's distressed and crying. I am knackered through sleep exhaustion, I've caught up today because dh sent me to bed for over four hours, but last night I fell asleep whilst holding dd up, sg somehow rolled off me and ended up fac down on pregnancy pillow and duvet, luckily I woke up, but god that could have been so much worse, I'm seriously considering trying to sleep her on her tummy. I'm running out of options and paediatric referral could take a while.

Sorry it's me me me, but I just don't know what to do any more sad

num3onway Mon 22-Apr-13 01:48:42

Oh dear ratbag, didn't want to read n run but sadly can't offer any advice as I've been lucky not to experience a refluxy baby. I do however send hugs n sympathy, it sound really hard work. Your post made me really grateful our dd is not much trouble. Could you see someone about speeding things up?

LikeCandy Mon 22-Apr-13 06:29:50

I'm so sorry you're having a tough time ratbag, I don't know what to suggest other than phoning your health visitor and making a big fuss about being seen sooner?

Thanks for that breathless - she doesn't seem in pain with it, at least I assume not as there's no crying when she's sick. I won't worry about it too much, and will stock up on muslins!

Is anyone co sleeping?

Mama1980 Mon 22-Apr-13 09:29:04

Likecandy- yep I am co sleeping totally, haven't even bought a cot, as last time it was a huge waste of money. How are you finding it?

Ratbag, I hope the night wasn't as awful as you thought. No advice that hasn't be offered really but am virtually hand holding -we are all here to help and support you. X

Alex has been awake most of the night, perfectly happy just awake! Now we are dressed and waiting for the health visitor for his weigh in he has gone to sleep! grin

SneezySnatcher Mon 22-Apr-13 09:39:27

likecandy we have a co-sleeper cot, which I adore! I just roll Henry over, feed him and then roll him back. It's especially good as I wasn't expecting to have a section and it means I don't need to lean over and pick him up.

We didn't co sleep with dd until later (around 5 months iirc) out of desperation and we just had her in bed with us, but this feels great to me. I can still touch Henry and be close to him, but he has his own 'space'.

DH and I both feel so much more rested than at this point with DD! I can't believe I used to actually get up and feed her in a chair for every night feed!

num3onway Mon 22-Apr-13 09:44:41

I don't think I could cosleep. I would be so scared of squashing or smothering her!
I feed her sat up in bed and have her Moses next to my bed but have heard too many horror stories to let her sleep with us

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 22-Apr-13 09:49:54

ratbag I'm sorry you had such a bad night. Keep badgering the professionals for support until you find a solution.

I am starting to feel like we're getting there. Last night I felt so much calmer and it seems she picked up on that. We had regular feeds but she (and therefore DH and I) slept for long periods. Got him to take her from 7-9 so I could properly rest but she's been great and I feel like DH is really supporting me now smile

Re screaming when being changed - I have worked that Faithlet hates a cold surface. It's why she wouldn't settle in the Moses basket and why she screamed being changed. If I lie her on a blanket for either she is generally fine. Worth a try!

LikeCandy Mon 22-Apr-13 11:22:01

mama & sneezy I have a cosleeper cot too, but after the first feed of the morning (side by side) I've kept her in with me - DH is awake by then and keeps an eye on us.
He's not a fan (for the reasons num3 mentions) so I'm trying to keep putting her back in the cot.
I'm in 2 minds really, I know the UK advice is not to, but globally SO many culture do, including in HongKong where they have the lowests instances of SIDS.
I know I'd never forgive myself of something happened, but are we missing out on this fantastic bonding opportunity?!
I'm not expecting anyone to advise me either way, I know it's a personal thing, but it's interesting to hear what you guys are doing - thanks!

ratbagcatbag Mon 22-Apr-13 11:27:46

If you co sleep just make sure you set up properly, the other night I was doing my usual propping up of Lucy, when I fell asleep, I woke up to find her face down in duvet and pregnancy pillow, luckily I am 99% certain I woke up straight away and all was fine but it could have been worse.

Mama1980 Mon 22-Apr-13 11:35:36

7lbs 1oz!!!!!gringringringrin My clever boy grin

Likecandy- I don't have a co sleeper cot, I use no cot at all. Ds1 when he first came home I literally sat up all the time just to check he was breathing! Then my dr advised me the correct way to co sleep ie. no duvet, use blankets no pillows use towels instead etc. for me it works I breast feed every two hours and Alex howls if he can't touch me. I sleep with my hand on his stomach. I did a lot of research and if done correctly Think it can be beneficial to everyone As you say for hundreds of years this how baby's slept and in Asia SIDS deaths are much lower than here despite co sleeping being usual. It is a very personal decision and I think it really is to the individual as to what they feel comfortable with. I would never do so with a partner in the bed nor if I smoked and have stopped taking all painkillers to be certain they have no effect on my sleep or instincts.

Off to the hospital now to have my body poked, prodded and tested! Here's hoping for good news.

Mama1980 Mon 22-Apr-13 11:37:29

Ratbag, how are you feeling this morning?

num3onway Mon 22-Apr-13 11:42:51

Well done to Alex on the weight gain!

SneezySnatcher Mon 22-Apr-13 12:30:03

Well done, Alex!!!

birdbrain17 Mon 22-Apr-13 13:57:48

wow mama that is fantastic news!!!!

I'm sort of co-sleeping, it wasn't the plan but she settles best when being held and I'm too tired to get up every half hour to resettle her. Last night she slept next to me not on me so we might be making progress but not even a week old yet so I'm not concerned that she won't settle without me...

lutrinae Mon 22-Apr-13 17:53:58

I am sometimes co sleeping, sometimes putting him in his basket, tbh usually because I fall asleep while he's feeding and/or can't be bothered to lift him back in, or because he won't settle. He sleeps on his side and I sleep with my arm and knees round him. I think it's fine.

Having a bit of a shift day, he's feeding constantly and won't settle or sleep AT ALL. I feel like my breasts are empty ns he's still not satisfied.

Also had horrible news, my brother's ex wife killed herself last night. She had four kids including the youngest my niece, who is only 3. It's very complicated and she was an alcoholic, but it's just horrible sad

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 22-Apr-13 18:26:39

Oh gosh that's so awful lutrinae sad thinking of your family at this time.

ElliesWellies Mon 22-Apr-13 18:40:24

LikeCandy - not co-sleeping entirely, but if too tired to sit up and breastfeed in the night, I get DH to bring her in the bed on my side and I breastfeed her lying down and she normally stays as we all fall asleep!

BonaDea Mon 22-Apr-13 19:26:55

Yay Alex! Amazing progress.

Anyone have any tips for speeding up an early morning feed? DS is only up once between 12 and 7am but the feed, nappy and resettle takes 1.5 - 2 hours. He is not a super fast feeder the rest of the day but an hour usually does it.

I have been advised to try switching breasts each time he gets lazy to keep him awake and effectively feeding, but I'm finding that exhausting as I have to rearrange all the pillows etc each time (having to use rugby ball hold at the mo because of latch issues!).

If I try to get him off sooner he simply wakes again in 10 minutes looking for more!!

LikeCandy Mon 22-Apr-13 19:38:41

Thanks for all the cosleeping info.
ellieswellies & lutrinae that's pretty much what we do, unintentional cosleeping! (lutrinae sorry to hear your tragic news, how awful)

bona have you tried feeding lying down, side by side? babycandy usually feeds 15-45mins at a time but feed/burp/change/settle still takes an hour or so, I'd also be interested in advice to speed it up!

BonaDea Mon 22-Apr-13 20:46:19

Like candy - haven't been able to feed lying down. We have had latch probs and I really need to guide boob and baby to make it non painful. Lying down makes that v tough.

I have a co sleeper cot and had visions of just pulling DS over, feeding in the dark and popping him back. Ha ha ha! Lights on, pillows everywhere, everyone awake.

lutrinae Mon 22-Apr-13 20:57:44

Thanks for your thoughts Faith and Likecandy

EssexWelsh Mon 22-Apr-13 20:58:37

Bona ha ha snap, my vision of my co sleeper bed is in fact just a resting area for nappies/pillows/breast pads and we place the Moses basket on it, may be one day it'll be used for its intention!

lutrinae so sorry to hear your news, very difficult to deal with when you already have a lot to contend with, hope all ok for your family.

toobreathless Mon 22-Apr-13 22:00:11

My only real suggestion for speeding up night feeds is to forego the nappy change if they are not dirty. I only change dirty (not wet) nappies between about midnight & 6 or 7am and they are never that wet in the morning. This also has the benefit of nit waking baby up as much as you are ultimately aiming for nice quiet night feeds then straight back to sleep (ha!)

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 22-Apr-13 22:12:45

My gosh this baby is so hungry! Been feeding pretty much since 8pm! Every time she comes off she's chewing her hands/my neck. My nipples are getting sore! Buying cream tomorrow. MW did say she was having a growth spurt. Don't I know it!!! shock

ElliesWellies Mon 22-Apr-13 22:56:30

Very sorry about your loss lutrinae - how terribly sad it sounds.

Faith same here, DD has been on and off for a lot of the day, had one three-hour sleep in the afternoon but otherwise... Hopefully will settle down soon!

I am TIRED this evening!

EssexWelsh Mon 22-Apr-13 23:57:06

LO has been awake pretty much since 4pm, has fed for last hour and is still WIDE awake! Only surviving on the fact that surely he MUST have to sleep soon?!

Mama1980 Tue 23-Apr-13 08:28:26

Morning all, how is everyone? Alex has been feeding pretty much all night but when he gains weight like yesterday it s all worth it. I can't believe he's over 7lbs finally at nearly 5 months! grin Going to take him and ds1 out today enjoy the sun.
My check up yesterday didn't go great apparently my weight gain is crap and my bp still very low, plus it is looking more and more like the paralysis is permanent I have another MRI next week, and f here's no improvement still we are going to start discussing other options. But you know what I really don't care grin my boy is over 7 lbs!!

Lutrinae - so sorry for your families loss, thinking of you.

I hope everyone gets some sleep x

Trishstar Tue 23-Apr-13 08:34:34

Sadly I've decided to stop expressing :-(

After getting 1200-1500ml in hospital every day I just thought I'd carry on at home! However the tripleness of everything is too much!

i.e. putting him to breast/expressing every 4 hours/bottle feeding him the EBM

I'm not getting much quality time with Hunter or DH :-(

I've decreased my pumping to 4 times a day and will take it down to 2 eventually. We have about 6000-7000ml of frozen EBM in the freezer so will use all that and see what happens.

I feel sadness, guilt and a whole load of other things. H just seems so lazy with the bf and it was my dream (will keep persevering obviously and could always increase pumping if he took to it).

I'm just thinking happier mummy will be happier Hunter! Xxx

Oh and my wound came open in 3 places, midwife checked it yesterday when she came to house but she wasn't concerned just said id been doing too much xx

HadALittleFaithBaby Tue 23-Apr-13 08:47:06

Oof Faithlet had a feeding frenzy last night! Fed for about 2 1/2 hours and I had to top her up with expressed milk from a cup to settle her. Then she was on/off for hours but finally fed well about 5 and then slept til 8! MW did say she thought she was having a growth spurt. Don't I know if? Off shopping today - I need nursing bras and nipple cream!

So glad Alex is thriving Mama!

num3onway Tue 23-Apr-13 08:52:47

Morning ladies! We are 3 weeks old today!

Dd taking 4-5 oz evry 3 or so hours. She was awake 6.30-8am but has now nodded off.

To those using formula, how are you making up your night feeds? When I had ds2 you were allowed to store cooled boiled water in a bottle and add powder when needed. Current guidelines state not to do this as water needs be over 70 degrees to kill bacteria present in milk powder. I've been keeping a kettle up stairs but it is a pain to make and cool feeds as she needs through the night! I just keep thinking it didn't do either of my other two any harm to use cooled boiled water. But then I feel bad as if she is like them she will only have night feeds for a couple more months anyway.

SneezySnatcher Tue 23-Apr-13 09:58:39

Morning all.

Trish that sounds hard but, like you said, if you are happier then your family will be too. Having to do all of that work must be a massive strain.

Henry slept well last night and is asleep now, so I have left DH in charge of him and DD. I'm in the bath MNing and colouring my hair!!! By this point with DD I doubt I even bothered washing my face. DH and I have decided second babies are more physically tiring (have twice as much to do) but less emotionally tiring (been there, done that)!

Must say that, despite a good latch, my boobs are sore. Henry just gulps down the milk. Luckily he's only feeding for thirty minutes every two/three hours, so they are getting a bit of down time!

He's getting weighed on Thursday when the HV visits, so DH and I are taking bets on his weight. He was 9lb 4.5 when he was born and 9lb 9oz at five days. DH thinks 10lb but there's no way!!

BonaDea Tue 23-Apr-13 10:57:43

Trish completely understand. When we were in hosp and then home at first I was bf'ing, expressing and cup feeding every 2.5 hours. The whole process took prob 1.5-2 hours so I had half an hour then had to start again! Exhausting. In the end we just got to the point where I felt he was eating as well as he was likely to and stopped the expressing and top ups. Everyone much happier all round and DS is thriving.

About to start expressing once or twice a day so that DH can give a late night bottle. Hmmm, we'll see how that goes!!

ratbagcatbag Tue 23-Apr-13 12:05:10

Trish, don't feel bad, you've tried and if its too much then it's too much.

Num I use already made up feed, sterilise four bottles and then fill them and put them in the fridge, when I need them every two hours I nuke them for twenty seconds in the microwave and then I'm sorted.

Went back to drs again today after another bad night, dr fast tracked my paeditrician appointment through and it's at 3pm tomorrow. Still think I'm ordering an angel care monitor and letting Lucy tummy sleep, she's so much more comfortable on it, and happier. Just terrifying to say yep this is what I'm doing.

num3onway Tue 23-Apr-13 12:11:56

Does it work out much more expensive using the ready made milk? I had considered doing it just at night. Dd likes her milk room temp so wouldn't need much heating up

BonaDea Tue 23-Apr-13 12:47:00

Num, I was going to suggest that. An sure it is quite a bit more expensive, but if it is just one a night(?!) it could well be worth it. You can just leave them at room temperature I think and then just decant into your sterling bottle (I have no idea what I'm talking about- ebf'ing for now wink )

num3onway Tue 23-Apr-13 13:02:01

Lol bona once open both cartons and bottles of ready-made formula need to be stored in the fridge. Dd currently takes two night bottles so second would need heating. I may give it a go.

ratbagcatbag Tue 23-Apr-13 13:53:34

I leave them in the fridge and just give them the twenty seconds in microwave to take the chill off, so it's closer to room temp, a bottles of formula 1l costs around £3.29. You need to use it within 48 hours of opening. I get through one bottle per day, have no idea wht the cost is compared to powder, I'm too lazy to do it. smile

ElliesWellies Tue 23-Apr-13 17:39:27

Funny, I was going to ask about formula-feeding today and here you all are talking about it!

DD is mainly bf but has had one bottle of formula a day, late evening before bed. It started in hospital when I was too ill to breastfeed her the first evening (had maternal sepsis and it was like a scene out of Casualty). But to be honest now we are home, I need the break from breastfeeding late in the evening. We have been using those bottles that you get in the hospital, that don't need to be sterilised - really expensive but she only has one a day. But I guess we will have to switch to something else soon as she already drains the whole bottle.

Anyway, am going to try to persevere with bf but it is getting knackering, even more so with a two-year-old and I am trying to recover from a post-partum haemorrhage (severely anaemic).

So just trying to get more of an idea of how ff works really as didn't do it with DS. Interesting ratbag about the large pre-made bottles that you can decant... may have to switch to those as she gets bigger. Re: tummy sleeping, I didn't want to be the one to suggest it as have seen people flamed on other threads (can't stand it when people judge like that). BUT... my opinion is that if it's a choice between her sleeping on her tummy in a controlled environment versus you being so tired that she falls off you and ends up face-down on a pillow... well, to me it is clear you have made the sensible choice. Good luck for your referral appointment and hope things settle down for you both soon.

Back to bottles... how do you deal with taking them out and about? I mean, say I get DH to take her out for a while... Once bottles are sterilised and filled with milk, how long can they be kept? Do you have to have a cooler bag? Or how do you all do it? Would be greatful for any advice.

ElliesWellies Tue 23-Apr-13 17:48:54

Oh and also, what brand of bottles do you all use (those of you that do)?

Trishstar Tue 23-Apr-13 17:59:19

After having bought shares in tommee tippee Hunter has decided he won't take them! Got so many TT things still sealed!

Currently on NUK! He liked them as he had the teats in SCBU. He prefers the standard to the wide neck and prefers the latex!

If I was starting from scratch and he hadn't been in SCBU I would have gone for MAM x

angeltattoo Tue 23-Apr-13 18:35:29

Hi all

Checking in after a manic few days as all grandparents etc have visited.

Ratbag, great news that you get to see a paed quickly, I know some people that tummy sleep because their babies have to for similar reasons, and it works for them smile

Well done Alex on being over 7lbs! And Trish, quality time with H and DH is so important, and a well fed baby (by whatever means) is a happy baby.

As for us, DD pretty much did a 36 hr marathon session, my milk came in Sunday evening, then suddenly at Midnight she couldn't latch on, we had a screaming meltdown at 3am, I caves and gave a bottle of formula. I then gave her to DH to settle and went to bed - I got 3 hours sleep (after going on 36 hrs without more than 20 mins) and baby got 6! I called the midwife before DD woke up, but luckily when she did DD fed. Midwife came, weighed her and did a BF talk with me. Luckily, yesterday DD fed ok, and last night was up 3hrly, so I got 2 x 2 ish hours sleep and then another 45 mins this morning, and an hour thus afternoon smile

She had lost weight yesterday (7.5%) but gained a bit today so midwifes were happy. She has also started pooing at day 5!

No one day or night has been the same yet, so I am taking each hour as it comes, and today we tries to walk down the high st, which was a disaster because she wouldn't settle, I tried to feed her in a pub but she wouldn't feed well/ to sleep so we came home where she then slept for 3 hours

I'm hoping we have another good night and please god I get some sleep but will see!!

Re: co sleeping, we don't and i also have to get up, bring baby into living room, arrange cushions, check/change (if dirty) nappy, feed for an hour etc. It is difficult, but we are not set up for co-sleeping. Baby is in crib at end of bed, and it seems so far away hmm

num3onway Tue 23-Apr-13 19:02:58

Wow 3.29 a day is steep!

I buy aptamil powder which is about 9.50 a tub, currently lasts 8 or 9 days. So around a pound a day!

We have the newer style Avent naturally/nature/cant remember bottles and had no probs. Used Avent for all 3 babies now.

With regards to bottles when out n about I think best bet now if your not going to be giving the feed within two hours is the indiviual ready made cartons. They hold about 8 or 9 oz n don't need be in fridge until open, they are about 70p each. If your feeding within two hours I'd make a bottle n take it.

ElliesWellies Tue 23-Apr-13 19:16:30

Cheers Trishstar - we have also got NUK at the moment, I got them as they seemed most similar to the teats on the ready-made Aptamil bottles.

Thanks for the advice num3. I feel a bit silly and a complete novice with this stuff!

HadALittleFaithBaby Tue 23-Apr-13 19:33:26

No one day or night is the same I hear that! Waiting for routine to kick in.

It's interesting to see different approaches to feeding. We had to top up Faithlet with formula in hospital via cup. We have some in stock in case and also keep at least 30mls expressed milk in the fridge in case the bf doesn't seem to satisfy her. Generally she's feeding well though. I'm keen to express and use bottles sooner rather than later (so maybe week 3) so that I get some freedom!

We've had a lovely day, been into town (she slept the whole time!), I now have proper fitted nursing bras (Mothercare were great) and bought some nursing t-shirts and joggers. This afternoon DH's grandparents come up to visit. Tomorrow we're off to a local nature reserve for a walk if the weather holds. They have dogs so it'll be nice to go for a walk!

LikeCandy Tue 23-Apr-13 22:35:04

Ditto here - still no routine, every day/night is a surprise!

We're 1 month old today!
BabyCandy has fed for ~1hr less in total than the last few days and don't my breasts know it! When she latched on / pulled away earlier we had an actual milk spray/fountain!
She's been very sickly again - she's still not bothered by it, no crying, just occasional fussing/gas and lots of outfit changes! Plenty of wet/dirty nappies - so I guess there's no need to worry at the moment.

Oh my gosh I had no idea formula was so expensive?! Looking at Amazon subscribe and save (I'm an amazon addict!) ready made cartons work out to about 55p each - that might be worth looking into?

leluella Wed 24-Apr-13 06:53:04

Just marking my place on this thread. Hoping to be discharged from hospital today and am sure I will be needing a bit of guidance from you all to ge through the first few weeks xx

lutrinae Wed 24-Apr-13 12:25:50

LikeCandy sounds like you are having the same problem as me with oversupply. I am trying to solve it with block feeding. Annoyingly I have what I think is a plug on one side (a very hard patch) which I CANNOT get rid of despite plenty of massage, changing feeding position and draining the breast. Anyone any further tips?

Thanks again for everyone's kind words and thoughts re. the family situation.

birdbrain17 Wed 24-Apr-13 13:35:00

bona don't know how you can feed quicker at night but if your using rugby hold try buying a v-pillow to put across your lap and rest the baby on that, I found it helps for getting baby latched on properly (after getting very sore nipples the first few days) and it's really comfy for baby to fall asleep on snuggled next to me during the day when I don't need to get up and do anything...

Giddypants Wed 24-Apr-13 17:14:54

congratulations to all the new arrivals. grin
ive had a blocked boob duct and was in absolute agony. had to take some pain killers before I could contemplate going near it to try and expresssad I think its ok now the lump has gone but its still a bit red and sore will get alex back on it when he wakes up again.
we kind of have a routine going to try and fit in with ds's really.
its bath at 6 boob book and bed.
he managed to self sooth with a dummy and a mobile last night. still up 3 hourly to feed. which im ok with as my boobs are near explosion at that time anywaygrin grin

Giddypants Wed 24-Apr-13 17:15:53

oh and we had lots of smiles this morning followed by a massive fart which made him cry sad grin grin

birdbrain17 Wed 24-Apr-13 17:16:31

also just wanted to ask re:bleeding the first few days really wasn't so heavy, less then my normal period(!!!!) ans suddenly now a week later it's got much heavier, is this normal?!

Mama1980 Wed 24-Apr-13 17:34:10

Hi all worryingly calm here! Ds and dd are playing alex is feeding ....I have time to mumsnet. Calm before the storm no doubt. grin Alex's feeding frenzy continues, he has fed for hours today and been awake all day. He twists and turns his little head desperately trying to take in everything at once.
I hope everyone is doing well will name check later Alex has now decided he wants to burp grin

Giddypants Wed 24-Apr-13 18:04:43

birdbrain think that os quite normal.i had a section and no bleeding for aboit a week then bled for 2 1/2 weeks thought it had stopped but then passed a massive clot yester day and now nothing think our bodies just doing what it needs to. think only need to worry if bleeding is very excessive and filling pad after pad

LikeCandy Wed 24-Apr-13 19:04:34

bird and giddy I think pretty much anything (other than full on haemorrhage!) is considered normal for the first few weeks. I'm pretty peeved because the bleeding had started to settle for me but now I am 99% sure I'm starting my period - 1month after birth and exclusively breast feeding, I thought I'd at least get a few months off?!

num3onway Wed 24-Apr-13 19:22:20

Dd has decided she no longer likes sleeping in pram or noses basket only on me or my bed!
This is not good! I'm scared of co sleeping and have two other dcs to run round after so can't have her stuck to me 24/7!

ratbagcatbag Wed 24-Apr-13 19:27:07

Back from hospital with new formula that I now need to make up and rantitine (sp) hopefully should get an improvement now. smile

Does anyone make more than one bottle up of powdered formula at a time? I'm considering doing six for overnight!?!?!?

num3onway Wed 24-Apr-13 19:45:41

Formula is ment to be made used n discarded within two hours in afraid

KatyT86 Wed 24-Apr-13 20:42:48

Congratulations to all new arrivals! I can't imagine not having the little man now - he is worth the sleep deprivation!

Just popping in amongst the madness to rave about the boba wrap I bought last week. I have not had it off! Had a wobble wih my boy going back to work as every time I put Flynn down he would cry on a morning, so I wasn't dressed until 1ish most days and felt stressed to hell. The boba sling means I can feed him then whack him in while I put make up on and potter. He absolutely loves it and drops off to sleep almost immediately. It was just over £30 on amazon - bit fiddly to put on and get him in at first but I am a pro now! Having. C section meant I couldn't drive (or lift pram etc) so wanted something I could walk him in. I love it! Had to come and rave about it!

Flynn is 4 weeks old today smile looking to start expressing in a couple so the other half can bottle fed him alongside bf-ing. Flynn is a pro at it, so def dont want to stop, but wanted some advice on a good pump and how to sterilise bottles etc. I have never done it and don't have a clue! So literally need to know the basics! X

HadALittleFaithBaby Wed 24-Apr-13 20:50:20

num we've had the same. Mw suggested putting a warm item of clothing that you've worn underneath them - don't put them down on a cold surface, don't rush to put her down. This has generally worked for us (unless she's cluster feeding!).

We have been on and off boob since 5pm. Hoping to settle her soon but still squawking on being laid down at the moment. DH is going to get some kip in the spare bed at the start of the night!

EssexWelsh Wed 24-Apr-13 20:57:25

Katy we have already started expressing at 17 days old, I am currently in bed and have given baby and 8 ounces of expressed to DP and praying for 6 hours solid sleep! We are using Medela Swing which is AMAZING worth the extra money as have heard others from my NCT that went for cheaper tomee tippee, hated it and now have the Medela, any steriliser will do, just get a plug in one or a microwave version.

Question-Every book and website says newborns will stay awake for a maximum 45-60mins, Blake does about 5 hours! Us this normal, as today after 5 hours, in fact for most of the time he has cried on and off, we tried everything to get him to sleep, we did not intentionally keep him awake so how do you get them to sleep in their 'window' before they get over tired? Blake just doesn't cry, literally for 2 seconds before I get the boob to him, so this today has really freaked me out!

num3onway Wed 24-Apr-13 21:11:32

Essex my Dd has been like that today, happy enough to be held or even nodd off on me but kicking off whenever try to put her down, she was like this from 3 til 8 none stop and I then managed to get her to sleep on my bed.

No baby does everything by the book. I find she has atleast one block of a few hours awake time a day.

num3onway Wed 24-Apr-13 21:18:08

May try putting my teeshirt over moses matress, is that how you mean faith? Don't want out it loose incase she sufocates!

enjay0811 Wed 24-Apr-13 21:24:07

Hello on the other side! Baby enjay arrived at 7.28am this mornin and is a little milk monkey! She fed for hour and half jst after bein born and throughout the day. She has scared the life out of me sort of choking on phlegm tho! Think she swallowed sum fluid when born. Anyone else have this? Any tips?

lutrinae Wed 24-Apr-13 21:36:28

Ha ha Giddy mine does this too, it's erm, sort if sweet?! Hope your blocked duct is solved. Mine doesn't really hurt but no amount if expressing seems to get rid, grr. Think I will have to see the GP.

bird yep mine got a bit heavier again after about. Week/ a week and a half. Only finally tailing off now after 19 days but def got worse before better.

Me too Mama Arthur has been feeding pretty much non stop since this morning. shock Even a trip to th toilet feels lik a nice break!

num3onway Wed 24-Apr-13 21:39:42

Enjay Congrats! My dd swallowed some gunk when being born and in first 24 hours had some lovely browny orangey dicky phlemm. This was probably a bit of blood I am told and normal! Once she got it out she was fine!

HadALittleFaithBaby Wed 24-Apr-13 21:40:05

Yes num that's what I mean. Not working tonight for us though! confused contemplating co-sleeping and bed nests!

Congratulations enjay! smile thanks

num3onway Wed 24-Apr-13 21:43:02

Dd has just fed, winding now then going to try and settle her! Fingers crossed!

lutrinae Wed 24-Apr-13 21:45:32

Oh and poor wee thing still has a bit of jaundice. MW says I need to get rid of it in two days or he'll need blood and urine tests. Come back sun!

num3onway Wed 24-Apr-13 21:49:55

I read that feeding lots is good for clearing jaundice, dd had the blood test but didn't need treatment

lutrinae Wed 24-Apr-13 23:24:49

Yep, I think no more than 2 hours without a feed. Mine feeds non stop so definitely got that one covered!

Giddypants Wed 24-Apr-13 23:53:17

I second the medela swing pump. with ds1 I had the hand expression pumps which just didnt do it for me. I could only get 2 oz maximum even with a full breast. but have been expressing 4-5oz with the medelagrin grin

EssexWelsh Thu 25-Apr-13 00:01:25

Update-Blake still sleeping, me wide awake and need to express as boobs too full, so need to figure that issue out of how to sleep longer?!

Enjay-exactly the same with the phlegm, scared the life out of us on the first night when he projectile vomited yellow everywhere! Apparently totally normal, all my NCT group had it and went after 2 days, told to just leave them as they have an instinct to turn their head to avoid choking. Obviously hard to ignore just watch like a hawk to clean up but lifting them can actually make it worse. What I don't get is for something so scary and common why don't they tell you about it in classes/at birth/in books?!

Snap as well on jaundice. We were told to place Moses basket in sunlight by a window.

enjay0811 Thu 25-Apr-13 04:23:37

Thanks essex and num3 glad to no it's not jst baby enjay! Have spent the nite with her sleepin on me as it was tht bad she was gagging and choking when led down. She's so snuffly tht her tummy is bein pulled in under the ribs iykwim to breath, so goin to mention to paed mw who is comin to chk her 2moro as really worryin! She's woke a few times from it but is now makin the most adorable squeaks and noises dreaming! She fed from 11.20 till bout 1 but now I'm wide awake usually on 2nd toilet trip as my body clock is all over the place! smile

wishfulthinking1 Thu 25-Apr-13 04:42:11

Hi everyone- am finally making my way over to post-natal! I've been watching the posts since Saturday but haven't had the time / hands free to post!

Baby Peter is currently feeding- I had all great plans of following the 'baby whisperer' book- but it's all gone to pot and now I'm just going with the flow! Peter latches on really well but generally falls asleep on my boob after about 5 minutes- I can generally tickle him awake for another 2, but then he's had it! I don't mind the frequency of the feeds at all- I just hope he's getting enough. He'd only lost 4% of birth weight at 3 day check, but mw is coming today for 5 day check- hopefully his weight will be picking up and I can relax knowing he's getting what he needs- will see how it goes.

I keep reading about people whose babies feed for hours at a time and don't know if I'm jealous or relieved!!

num3onway Thu 25-Apr-13 04:46:45

Morning! Dd is on second bottle of night! She fed and 12.30 and would point blank not go back in basket! Ended up letting her sleep on me.
Congratulations on baby peter wishful!

Emmie10 Thu 25-Apr-13 07:53:06

Probably TMI but if you can't ask here, where can you?! Has anyone else noticed their baby's poo has a stringy texture at times? Ava has had this although it is intermittent. I am wondering if it is something I am eating that isn't agreeing with her.

lutrinae Thu 25-Apr-13 09:00:28

Yay! Congrats on baby Peter wishful

LikeCandy Thu 25-Apr-13 09:11:11

Congrats wishful and welcome Peter!

Emmie BabyCandy has had every type of poop going! Everything from watery to ambrosia custard to whole grain mustard to stringy egg yolk!
I'm not sure if its related to diet as it changes from nappy to nappy.

enjay0811 Thu 25-Apr-13 09:12:17

Day 2 and I have blisters on the end of my nipples!! Jst sent dh out for sum nipple shields. Any tips on latching on?! X

EmpressMatilda Thu 25-Apr-13 09:15:18

Hi all,

Sorry for the lack of updates. Not long after my previous post Sam had another episode. He went blue in my arms and there were a lot of doctors rushing around trying to resuscitate him. He survived, thank goodness, but is now back on the intensive care ward with more tubes than he had in the first place. It's all pretty distressing to see but he did open his eyes a bit today and he does react to my voice which is something!

He has two tumours in his heart which are causing him all sorts of problems. They should shrink and he should grow so it will right itself in time but he has to survive long enough for that to happen and there's not much they can do except keep him going as best they can and wait and see. He has already come close to death twice. It's really hard to deal with as it will play out over the coming weeks and months and it seems to fluctuate from day to day -some days they are really happy with his progress, on others they seem worried.

If he does manage to survive the heart tumours he also has a small one in his brain and one in his tummy. Neither of these are causing him problems but they do indicate he might have a rare condition called Tuberous Sclerosis which they are testing him for. We really hope he doesn't have it as it sounds awful and there is no cure.

It's all a nightmare and I admit I am not coping particularly well. It was good to receive all your words of support and concern though. It does help to know people are wishing us well.

Enjoy snuggles with your babies, they are so precious.

Trishstar Thu 25-Apr-13 09:23:33

Empress still praying for you xxx with Hunter being in SCBU, i can half relate. its nothing like you are going thru but I understand how you feel when there's nothing you can do. He is in the best place and the docs/consultants are amazing!

Remain positive to attract all the good things to you both, he's been a little fighter so far. Hope you start seeing some consistency in his progress very very soon.

Sending lots of love xxx

itsaruddygame Thu 25-Apr-13 09:31:07

Another vote for the medela! I am borrowing a friends medela expression (comes in a back pack) and it is great. I get more out by a long way than I did with the pump I hired from the hospital. Ladies that are expressing - when do you do it and how much do you get? Mine has slowed down a bit in the last couple of days but I think we are in the throws of the 6 week growth spurt and he is feeding tons so I am hoping that is why!

Enjay - Harry is also very snuffly. I took him to the gp because I was concerned but they were happy that it was normal neonatal snuffles (caused by soft cartiledge) and recommended tilting his cot to help his sinuses drain. This has helped and he is sleeping better now as before it was driving him mad and keeping him awake.

Emmie we had a couple of seedy poos - I think it's fairly normal and it didn't last long.

Wishful - congrats and good luck for the weigh in.

Hope everyone had a good day - DH is off with me today so am looking forward to having help : )

itsaruddygame Thu 25-Apr-13 09:38:04

Just missed your up date empress. I think you are being incredibly brave - I really can't imagine how difficult it is to be in your shoes. I think of you and your little man often - he is so gorgeous.

Trish - glad hunter is now doing so well.

Trishstar Thu 25-Apr-13 09:45:16

Thanks Ruddy xxx he's still lazy on the boob so I'm persevering with the expressing and using my frozen EBM! xxx

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 25-Apr-13 09:48:38

Oh Empress sad praying for your little family and his recovery. Keep us posted when you can.

enjay is there a bf group near you? Or could you ask la leche for a home visit? Doesn't sound like the latch is right.

Welcome to the other side wishful!

We had a much better night! DH slept in the spare bed (so he's more pleasant now!). Faithlet fed on and off from 5-10 finally drifting off at 10.20. Then she woke every couple of hours to feed/for bum changes but I feel like I got good chunks of sleep so we're all brighter today! smile

Teapig Thu 25-Apr-13 10:07:38

empress, I am so to hear that Sam is poorly. I can't imagine how diffficult it must be for you and your famiky. Sam is clearly a fighter though. Thinking of you and sending lots of love and strength.

Teapig Thu 25-Apr-13 10:20:12

Hello ladies with beautiful little babies, I'm excited to be joining the post-natal side of things. I have a lot to catch up so look forward to reading through all the news soon.

wishful I noticed you said Peter is feeding for 5-7 mins and then dosing off. I'm having the same thing. It's only day two but I'm a little worried that Thea isn't getting enough down her. She manages to feed for around 7 mins with me stimulating her but then the effort of staying awake is just too much and she falls asleep despite me trying a variety of tricks to wake her up. Going to talk to the MW today but a little concerned that her weight may drop quite a bit. I hope Peter hits the right food/sleep balance soon wishful.

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 25-Apr-13 11:10:10

Tea and Wishful Faithlet did that to start with. I found if she is sat up and winded then offered the other boob she'll usually take it for a similar amount of time or even more, resulting in her having over 10 minutes which is what they class as a 'good feed'. Course now she's a bit bigger she's feeding for England!

I would urge any of you BF to go and get the right bras! I went to Mothercare on Tuesday and got measured. Service was excellent and with these bras and proper breast pads (Boots washable are great!) and I am so comfy now! smile

Teapig Thu 25-Apr-13 11:53:08

Thanks faith, I'll give that a go.

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 25-Apr-13 11:57:14

Oh the irony she's done exactly that! 5 mins one side, settled in other side! smile

SneezySnatcher Thu 25-Apr-13 12:47:37

Oh Empress I am praying for you and Sam.

We have just had our HV visit. Henry is now 10lb 9oz on day 13. He was 9lb 4.5oz at birth and 9lb 9oz on day 5 - so has put on 1lb in a week. He never seems to feed for very long, and often falls asleep after a few minutes, but it hasn't affected weight gain.

birdbrain17 Thu 25-Apr-13 15:06:39

any recommendations for baby slings? Much as I love sitting on the couch cuddling my baby I do need to get things done but she'll only sleep by herself for about 20 mins and then she wakes up crying for a cuddle...

Mama1980 Thu 25-Apr-13 15:15:57

Empress, I have pm'd you. You and sam are in my thoughts. Xxx
Bird-I have a great sling babycocoon I had to get it online, its just one long piece of material that you can tie 20 different ways. Alex loves it.
We've been out in the sun today again. I'm having some issue with leaking boobs, Alex is feeding more and more and milk is just everywhere! I put in two breast pads earlier and they plus my bra and top were soaked within a couple of hours, ok while we're round the house but not so good when we are out! Does anyone have any ideas? smile

ratbagcatbag Thu 25-Apr-13 16:03:24

Hi empress

Just seen your update, big hugs and you are all in my thoughts.


HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 25-Apr-13 17:06:24

I have been told my local children's centre hire slings so I'm going to go along next week. I think Faithlet would like it because she loves to be held!

She's seen the MW and HV today, been weighed and now weighs 5lb 9oz so has gained 5 1/2oz since Tuesday and is 5oz over her birth weight smile really pleased because I've been persisting with breast feeding even though its been tough!

LikeCandy Thu 25-Apr-13 17:17:55

empress thanks for your update - stay strong xx

sneezy what a big boy! BabyCandy is 9lb5 today (4w5d) from 8lb5 last week (that was her birthweight too, she'd lost 12% by day 3)

bird we have the baby bjorn active and it's great for out and about, haven't used it around the house yet, my only issue with it is that I won't be able to BF her in it so am also considering a sling - interested to see people's recommendations!

mama what pads are you using? I'm still far too milky for reusables but lansinoh ones are doing brilliantly! They are a bit uncomfortable when very wet (they turn to gel I think?) but small price to pay!

BonaDea Thu 25-Apr-13 17:38:32

Empress - didn't want to read and run. Sending lots of positive vibes and virtual hugs to you and yours. X

birdbrain17 Thu 25-Apr-13 17:45:19

sorry forgot to add to my last message empress I wish there was something I could do to help, you are in my thoughts a lot, stay strong, please keep us updated and we're always here for you if you need somewhere to talk xx

SneezySnatcher Thu 25-Apr-13 18:06:36

Like I know! He doesn't seem big though. I was shocked when the HV said how much he weighed. Makes the leaking boobs and chapped nipples worth it though!

WRT slings, we have a Mamas and Papas Flex. It's the same idea as a moby but in three parts so it's easier for me to put on. I haven't tried feeding in it yet though.

I'm going in to school tomorrow as I promised the children I'd bring the baby in once he had arrived. Really looking forward to seeing them all!

usernamegoeshere Thu 25-Apr-13 20:10:08

Can't believe an in post natal!

Am lying in bed watching lil no name sleep, since I failed at the Moses basket again, I just can't not pick her up the second she cries.

Feeding is going ok, not perfect but she settles after feeds (if cuddled obv) so I guess not hungry, being weighed tomorrow

empress I can't even imagine what you are going through, I think you are amazing and I hope you get some good news

Hi ladies! It's taken me a while to get onto here as i've ben posting in facebook more. So congrats to everyone on their new arrivals. flowers

Our little Flora is doing really well now after losing 12% birthweight and having a day back in hospital having the bilirubin test for jaundice (it was hard to watch her have blood taken from her 5 day old hand).

She got the all clear form the jaundice danger zone to just making the most of the lovely sunshine to pop her by the window or in the garden. We are mix feeding on mw advice to top her up and flush the jaundice and she's put on great weight already and doesn't seem to have nipple confusion at the moment. We'll gradually decrease the top ups to make BF the main thing, but may keep a night FF...will see how it goes.

We had ou first outing today to the lovely garden terrace at our local Ask restaurant, followed by jaunt around the baby aisle of the supermarket. I'm a bit sore now as it's only days after the CS, but she slept the whole I'm and I feel a great sense of normality for getting out. I didn't need to BF in public, so still have that challenge to come, but feel more confident about it.

I will catch up with all the posts when I get a mo so sorry for not name checking this time - apart from Empress, all my best wishes for baby Sam.

ElliesWellies Fri 26-Apr-13 00:14:09

Sending you and your family all the best Empress.

Hi growyourown - am new to this thread as just couldn't keep up with you all in antenatal! Am mainly BF but often do one night FF - it doesn't seem to have affected my supply, think probably ok long-term if it's only one a day over next few weeks. Re: BFing in public - a large scarf that you can liberally drape everywhere is your friend.

num3onway Fri 26-Apr-13 04:02:03

Morning all!
Second night feed here! Dd has been fighting the Moses basket a lot, at a loss as what to do!

EssexWelsh Fri 26-Apr-13 04:19:03

Snap on feed number 2 num.

Have you tried swaddling or dare I say, a dummy as a comforter to settle them to sleep in basket? Where have they been sleeping tonight?

HadALittleFaithBaby Fri 26-Apr-13 04:29:40

me three! Settled about 11, fed at 1 and just settling again after a 3.45 feed. Num I've found DD just won't settle if she's still hungry (and sometimes I'm amazed at what it takes to fill her up!).

Anyone else have a baby who wants to break the rules? I swear she'd sleep on her side given the choice, she's always jiffling across to her side when she's fed and settles better on me or the mattress! It's always an effort to settle her on her back in the Moses basket.

num3onway Fri 26-Apr-13 05:44:50

She slept 12-1.30ish in her basket. Fell asleep on me until 3 when I managed to rock her off in basket. Awake at 4, fell asleep on me afte only 1 oz which is unusual, went bk in basket no probs this time and has just woken now and is drinking the rest of feed two.
I don't think hunger is the problem she generally takes 4oz every 3 hours and appears stuffed.
May try swaddling her tomorrow night see if it helps. She has a dummy but is not good at keeping it in!

bunnygirl80 Fri 26-Apr-13 08:03:06

empress sorry to hear Sam is still so poorly. Thinking of you x

birdbrain17 Fri 26-Apr-13 09:55:43

faith my baby also won't lie on her back I put her down and she rolls straight onto her side!!!
num I tried swaddling but she's such a wriggler she escaped, the mw managed it in hospital so I guess you have to do it quite tight. I wanted to try a dummy as the only way she'll sleep without being held is sucking on my finger but everyone says don't give before 4-6 weeks, how old is your baby?

Giddypants Fri 26-Apr-13 10:48:08

empress sending sam positive vibes and virtual hugs you are often in my thoughts x

we have been using a dummy from the start in the hope that it helps the settling on a night. he seems to repond well to it bit wont take it through the dayconfused
and it is said that it reduces SIDS so I feel better about giving it to him.

is anyone else suffering with the colic? infacol sometimes works but not always have been giving gripe water but again it doesn't always work

num3onway Fri 26-Apr-13 11:01:02

My dd is 3 weeks 3 days, like the previous poster I introduced a dummy from the start also due to sids but she drops it a lot!

Mama1980 Fri 26-Apr-13 11:37:26

Morning all, just its been a bit chaotic here!
Candy- I'm using tomee tippee ones they have the gel stuff as well will try the others you mentioned thanks. Its getting silly milk is just everywhere.
Alex is still cluster feeding massively, he did not sleep for more than maybe 2 hours last night. He was happy just awake! Of course he is sleeping right now. grin

Mama1980 Fri 26-Apr-13 11:38:00

Thinking of you and sam empress, sending much love and strength. X

Mama1980 Fri 26-Apr-13 11:40:04

Birdbrain they give dummy's in nicu to help with the suck reflex, Alex doesn't use it anymore he didnt like it but the nurse when I asked said it was safe you just have to sometimes get a smaller teat one if you give to from birth and be ore alert abut sterilising. X

birdbrain17 Fri 26-Apr-13 11:56:21

I was worried about nipple confusion but baby bird seems to feed really nicely so maybe I will just chance it and give her one, thanks for the advice smile
mw just been for 10 day check up, on day 5 she was back at birth weight of 6lb 8oz already and now she's 6lb 11oz, makes all the feeding worth it even though it's so tiring I'm so proud I'm managing to get her to gain weight grin

empress please update when you can, thinking of you x

angeltattoo Fri 26-Apr-13 12:34:57

Empress, you and Sam are in my thoughts x

We a still taking each day as it comes here, 8 days old today!

She is starting to cluster feed in the evenings, but this seems to help her sleep, we have had 2 good nights in a row - she only woke up once last night!!! Now that I can deal with, but I'm sure it will be variable!

My nipples are shredded, cracked, blistered and bleeding sad

been to see support worker today, who showed me correct latch. Trouble is, I know it in theory but in practice, at home, obviously something is going wrong! I'm going to try sitting up straight, bring baby to boob etc...so the key is to perseverve through the pain!

Has anyone had any joy with nipple shields? I am loathe to use them due to nipple confusion, but I am in pain!!

And the two times I have attempted to leave the house and feed in public have been disasters, which in't great. Felt like a terrible mother yesterday, when I didn't have anything to shield her from the sun. I need to buy some giant muslins...

I also think my stitches and wound have come apart, the midwife will check these on Monday.

But the little peanut is gorgeous. We are off on a visit to the grandparents this weekend, a bit nervous about the journey, but looking forward to showing her off.

pebspop Fri 26-Apr-13 12:50:21

hi ladies

i didn't join the ante natal thread as i had suffered recurrent miscarriage before my successful pregnancy resulted in ds two weeks ago. it was far too nerve wracking for me.

i hope i will be welcome to join in now though.

my ds is a little delight i love him!!

he is generally waking up every three hours for feeds and mainly sleeping in between.

how do you ladies cope with the lack of sleep? do we just plough though and hope it gets better soon? i am not feeling too bad at the moment but i know it's going to catch up with me soon. my dh is taking over this evening to let me get some sleep so hope fully i can get a six hour sleep in.

do you all take your babies out? i took my ds to my mums and tesco in his car seat and he was fine. i took him out in the pram to the register at the doctors a couple of days ago and he just screamed all the way there and back. i was thinking of taking him out this afternoon in to town but not sure if it's a good idea if he screams. might take him for a quick trial run in the pram after the next feed and see how we go.

i am starting to worry that going out will become a big deal and i am not usually one for staying in the house all the time. i am not minding staying in at the moment as i am tired and busy and getting visitors but i will need to get out at some point.

also i had a c-section so can't drive anyway so that is a good excuse to stay in!

sorry to hear your baby is ill empress. will be thinking about you.

Trishstar Fri 26-Apr-13 12:51:19

Angel can you get your wound checked before you go away at doctors or a walk in? Just so it doesn't get any worse before you go away xxx

Trishstar Fri 26-Apr-13 12:53:56

Pebspop welcome xxx I can understand your hesitance to join but welcome now! Pleased to meet you xx we have a fb group too! I can't post the link as I'm on my phone x someone will post it soon for you I'm sure xx

Mama1980 Fri 26-Apr-13 13:10:16

Hi pebspop and welcome, glad to have you join us. I totally understand why you didn't want to join sooner. My ds Alex was born in December at 24 weeks.
As for going out we have been going out since we got home three weeks ago pretty much. I have the most awake baby ever it seems grin have you tried a sling if your baby isn't keen on the pushchair?
I can't fb link either but we have loads of lovely cute baby pics on there! X

HadALittleFaithBaby Fri 26-Apr-13 13:15:26

angel we've used nipple shields for the last week because Faithlet's latch wasn't brilliant - this was recommended by the hospital which surprised me! But as a stop gap it's worked well. She now latched herself 90% of the time. Just had to persevere trying without them then using them if needs be. Hasn't caused nipple confusion. In fact I'm pretty sure I'd have had to stop BF if we hasn't used them. Don't get the Boots ones though - they collapse on themselves and are a bit crap! I'm using one I got from the hospital like this

Welcome to pebspop. With your history I understand why you were nervous. Congratulations on becoming a mummy!

Re sleep - I am going for 2-3 hour power naps in the day, DH usually gets one but he's slept in the spare room the last two nights so that he gets a full night's sleep and I can turn the light on to change her/feed her in peace without worrying about disturbing him. Only a short term thing but working for us.

birdbrain17 Fri 26-Apr-13 13:34:57

welcome pebspop so happy your little one is here safely and your able to join us smile x

AmberLav Fri 26-Apr-13 15:32:29

Hello ladies,

Can I join in too? I didn't discover the AN thread till quite late, and then ended up lurking accidentally, as you all seemed so close by then! But figure I can't lurk for ever!

My little girl (DC2) was born on Wednesday, but we are still in the hospital, as she's got a respiratory infection of some type, so she's on 5 days of antibiotics... At least we're in the right place, even if I'd much rather we were all at home...

I really feel for all of you that have had to stay in hospital a long time either for yourselves or your little ones, especially Empress and little Sam at this time...

Anyway, hopefully now I can join in the chat! Second one round, breastfeeding is a lot easier, but that may be because I've managed to have one that has read the book this time, rather than DS who worked it out finally when he was 17 days old!


Emmie10 Fri 26-Apr-13 18:41:08

angel I had to use nipple shields due to the pain of cracked and bleeding nipples and would have given up breastfeeding if I hadn't used them. I used them for 2 /3 days solid which was enough time for some healing to take place, then every second feed. I am now trying to stop using them altogether. I got Avent ones from Boots.

wishfulthinking1 Fri 26-Apr-13 19:39:27

Welcome to everyone new- and huge congratulations on becoming mummies!

Peter's just had a bath- and his belly button thing came off- DH said we should keep it- not sure if he's joking or not!

Anyway, am trying to stuff him full before a story and bed- we'll see how it goes!! See you all in the wee small hours!! Xx

KelleStar Fri 26-Apr-13 20:01:44

Hallo! Waves to all the regulars and new faces. Well excited I can join you over here now little boy has arrived. DD has been really lovely and tugged on my heart strings.

This one also seems to have read the book too, he has been straight on each time, amazing. But, oh my, the after pains. Ooch!

Having to think of names now, our boy list was very short in the first place and it appears they don't suit him.

DD is off for a sleepover at MIL's while we have some sleep and a first night with baby.

Trishstar Fri 26-Apr-13 20:12:31

Wishful we kept Hunter's cord and clamp xx

LikeCandy Fri 26-Apr-13 21:51:35

Welcome pebspop and amber, and hi to kelle - good to see you all over here on the sleep deprived / sore nippled / baby snuggly side

wishful we've kept the cord, tho I had a panic last week that dog had found / eaten it, he hadn't it was packed away!!

feeding in public I'm doing ok with the two top method. Stretchy m&s vest underneath which gets pulled below boob and baggy top over which gets pulled up over boob. Loving my Elle McPherson nursing bras too. I am spraying milk everywhere still so cardigan needed to cover wet patches after!!

going out of the house I haven't been out alone yet, Monday will be my first day without DH or my Mum around - we'll just do a short jaunt into town and see how we go!

sleeping BabyCandy sleeps for 3 hrs at a time at the most, usually early morning we get a good stretch but she cluster feeds afternoon/ evening averaging a 20m feed every hour and a half, so with burping and changing we get about 45mins 'free' at a time where she sleeps or is awake/cuddling!

We're up visiting family for the weekend - she's going to meet her 2 uncles, great grandma, and my best friend for the first time. So exciting!

bunnygirl80 Fri 26-Apr-13 21:59:28

angel I used nipple shields for two weeks with dd and slightly longer with DS. I have flat nipples and without the shields they couldn't latch at all, so it was either use the shields or bottle feed. I had the medela ones which are really soft thin plastic, so as close to bfing as you can get. You do still need to be careful with the latch though, dd managed to crack my nipple through a shield! Both of them switched back to feeding shield free without a problem when the time was right.

pepsbop welcome. I think pram hatred is pretty common amongst newborns. You could try a sling, they mostly love those. I had a cs too, and I found slings quite sore over my scar for the first three weeks though, but now dd lives in it when we're out and about. Keeps my hands free for wrangling my toddler DS too

Mama1980 Fri 26-Apr-13 22:26:47

Welcome amber and hi kellestar, good to see you this side of things smile
This is my first whole night totally alone, I sent my family home I am confident that I can drag/crawl to the bathroom. I've been alone everyday but usually someone has been staying overnight. Super organised I have nappies, Muslins, clothes...everything to hand. Ds1 and dd are asleep, dog is asleep, even the cat is asleep and Alex having been fed, burped, changed and cuddled is lying next to me gurgling up at the ceiling! grin so I'm putting on pride and prejudice and seeing how it goes. Me and my babies snuggled up under my own roof- I can't stop grinning, every time I relax I feel this little bubble of happy in my stomach and grin again. Sure Alex has started smiling back at me grin he probably thinks I'm going crazy!

LikeCandy Fri 26-Apr-13 23:40:21

mama how lovely, have a great evening!

Baby asleep on her Daddies chest - when she wakes we'll change, feed and cross fingers she sleeps better than last night!
She's eaten sooo much today and not slept for as long as usual - not sure if this means we are more/ less likely to settle well tonight, we'll see!

Mama1980 Sat 27-Apr-13 07:36:19

Thanks - well very little sleep but otherwise everything went smoothly grin even dd came in for a cuddle in the end. My mum is coming to take us all shopping today, I'm excited to do something 'normal' plan to get new clothes for everyone. Alex is still in tiny baby sizes, his arms and legs are really long ibut his body Is still tiny I plan to get some bigger sizes though, hopefully he'll be in newborn soon!
I hope everyone got some sleep? X

HadALittleFaithBaby Sat 27-Apr-13 08:47:09

Well done Mama! You're an inspiration to us all!

Still Praying Empress....

We had a good night - two in a row! Settled by 10.45 then fed at 12.45, 4 and 7.30! Had to proper wake her at 4 but not happy to leave her much more than 3 hours between feeds at the moment. Can cope with two wake ups a night though! smile

num3onway Sat 27-Apr-13 08:50:58

Urgh rough night here
Dd would not sleep at all until 2am, also would not be put down. She nodded off and I got her in the basket, but she woke at 4 to be fed, fell asleep n bk in basket for five. But then at 6 ds1 got up, wanted a drink,got in my bed, shortly followed by ds2!
Managed to get them to go play in there room for a bit thank god!
Are there many other single parents on this thread? How do you cope being both mum and dad?

Trishstar Sat 27-Apr-13 16:56:24

Hi ladies just gave Hunter his last feed at midday as formula (cow n gate first milk) and he's bought up quite a lot of it even up until now?

Does anyone know if aptamil is better? xx

jojo2509 Sat 27-Apr-13 19:33:05

Hi Trishstar. Thought i would reply as the paediatricians at my hospital recommended Aptamil for some reason. The only negative is if you are strict vegetarian as it has fish oil in it!! You could try a carton of the ready made stuff to see how he reacts. I think it takes a while for babies to adjust to formula if they are breastfed. Good luck.

EssexWelsh Sat 27-Apr-13 19:53:47

I wonder if Blake is going through a growth spurt, unbelievably as he hasn't stopped growing since day 1, going from 7lb10 at birth to 8lb12 at 10 days and he did this by feeding every 3 hours, exclusively breastfeeding, but for the last 2 days if he has been awake he is feeding! He hasn't been weighed for over a week, so we tried weighing ourselves on scales without then with him and after double checking with both of us he came out as 10lbs!! He won't settle, really fussy, worried I was over feeding him but every website says you can't and they described Blake to a tea for going through a growth spurt, any experience anyone?


ratbagcatbag Sat 27-Apr-13 22:19:15

Hi all

Wanting a smudge of hand holding, nothing mega but Lucy is now in her own cot on her tummy for the first time ever, she's been down for twenty mins so far and is sleeping better than she ever did on her back, I've checked her five times already and have angel care monitor set to lights and tic, so it makes a blip every second, and I'm still paranoid even though she definitely sleeps better. It also feels mad like I have room in my bed, first night since she arrived she's not been in it.

Essex - Lucy was like that, every second she seemed to want food, she's settled a lot more now though.

ratbagcatbag Sat 27-Apr-13 22:20:58

Num3 - not a single parent, but hats off to anyone that can do this on their own, have you got good support round you?

Trishstar Sat 27-Apr-13 23:03:02

Hope you and Lucy have a good night xx will keep checking back x

ratbagcatbag Sun 28-Apr-13 01:58:17

Ok so far so good, she had a feed around ten mins after my post, I then had to keep her upright as normal,so she went down around 11:30, asleep within seconds, murmured a little bit but turned the light projector thing on by remote for a couple of mins and she was gone. Had second feed just now and she's sat upright fast asleep on me until around 2:30 when she will go back on her tummy again. I'm knackered as I think my sleep was so deep as first time she's not on me to sleep smile

Hope everyone else is fab. X

KelleStar Sun 28-Apr-13 02:03:01

Just set up for left boob o'clock, change of bum so he was awake and will feed rather than sleep. It's a bit weird having to remember what tips from DD.

KelleStar Sun 28-Apr-13 02:09:31

And forgot that they are also good at lunging off boob! Posted too soon.

Ratbag hope L goes down soon and you can get some more sleep in.

toobreathless Sun 28-Apr-13 02:19:59


Apologies for not being round much, life with a baby & a toddler is non stop. Big sister H still adores her baby sister & likes to remind me 'Beebee snack time' when C cries. I can't leave them alone together as H tends to do things like lovingly drop toys on C's head (for her to play with!) but so far so good on the sibling front.

C is turning into a pretty easy going baby though I am fairly certain she has a bit of reflux. Weight gain is an issue, at 3 weeks she is not yet back to birth weight and is being VERY sicky. I probably should wake her at night for a feed as she can go 6 hrs without one which isn't helping her weight but I'm too knackered with a toddler. HV is coming out to weigh her weds so will re assess things then.

We have visited a local National trust place today which was nice. I have bought myself a Moby wrap to try and make these kind of outings a bit easier, I can't wait for it to arrive.

num3 not a single parent & my hats off to your dealing with 3 on your own.

ratbag hope you have a good night

kelle congratulations again, how are you getting on?

usernamegoeshere Sun 28-Apr-13 02:26:00

So tired, had first day of almost non zombie today, but so far no sleep tonight so sounds bad for tomorrow!

Had some feeding problems, but specialist visited today and helped find a better position, also got me to express and it made a massive difference, had 3 good feeds today and expressed 2 extra feeds worth, feels much less pressure knowing there is milk in fridge and baby not starving.

num3 I'm completely in awe of single parents, right now I need oh to help me even breast feed as I can't keep both her hands occupied otherwise.

ratbagcatbag Sun 28-Apr-13 02:34:41

Too - if you suspect reflux go to the drs, Lucy can't sleep on her back because of it and had got to the point of fighting very bottle because feed time was hurting sad we're a lot better now though as on meds for it.

Ok attempt no two of putting down , if it fals ill be back in ten, if not ill see you between four and six ish.

usernamegoeshere Sun 28-Apr-13 02:55:30

Grrr I can't believe finally sorted feeding and now just sitting awake for no reason that I can tell, giving 10 more minutes then going to check nappy again, but I suspect this is just a normal wakeful period that just has happened to be at night today (its usually in the mornings she stays awake for a few hours!)

Just been catching up on thread, loads of reflux sad

num3onway Sun 28-Apr-13 04:07:38

Feed number two here!
Dd has slept 9.30 - 11.30, woke for 4oz feed nappy change and then fought sleeping in basket until 1.30, slept til 3.30.
Hopefully she is gonna go back off easily!
The x and I swperated last weekend, not for the first-time bit this time does feel final. We have had problems on off for years mainly because he will notgrow up. Dcs are 5,3 and 3.5 weeks.
He was never a massive help but last night when dd was having a bad night with little sleep I did wish there was another pair of hands! She has been clingy and wingey past two days and would of appreciated someone else taking her for a bit so I coyld have a bath/eat/pee! Anyway I managed!

toobreathless Sun 28-Apr-13 04:45:18

Tears here from us both. C has been intermittently screaming since 10pm, on dozing on my chest. It's strange as its not every night! Sometimes she sleeps brilliantly. I just feel overwhelmed by all of it toddler &. newborn/new house/new county/no real friends here yet etc.

Apologies for the pity party. Everything seems so much worse in the middle of the night doesn't it? Will be back to my usual optimistic self in the morning.

num3 that sounds very hard, do you have lots of support from family & friends? Do you have a sling if its just you & she wants to be held all the time?

ratbagcatbag Sun 28-Apr-13 05:09:35

Big hugs too, totally agree with middle of the night thing, I can deal with anything in the day, yet at night can sob. Any ideas what's causing the crying or is it just over tiredness and because she can?
Babies are bloody hard work, I would genuinely never do this again zzsmile

num3onway Sun 28-Apr-13 06:53:16

Oh dear breathless, the nights are defently the hardest. Dd has only had a couple of bad nights thank god. You have an awful lot going on by the sounds of it!
I have help there if I need it, but I don't like to give people reason to critise my decision to have a third child. No one else in my family has more than two and I'm also only 25.I've never tried a sling. Tbh whenever I see some one wearing one ihave a vision of them falling and squashing the baby!

HadALittleFaithBaby Sun 28-Apr-13 07:31:57

I feel like I'm in good company here. Not the best night...I think Faithlet is having a growth spurt. She fed on and off from 6pm and finally settled in her Moses basket at 1.30! Fed again at 2.30 and 4 ish but then we didn't wake til 7 (bliss).

Hats off to you Num. With me breastfeeding, obviously there's a limit to what DH can do but I rely on him to do stuff around the house and knowing I have around if I need him in the middle of the nice to be significant. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you guys.

How was the night in the end ratbag?
Hope you got some sleep too...

This time two weeks ago I'd just become a Mum! smile

ratbagcatbag Sun 28-Apr-13 07:43:57

The night on the end was good, she's not sleeping quite as long as when she was on me, but she slept in the cot between feeds and even though I have to sit up with her for thirty mins after every feed which normally means she goes down asleep, the one time she was awake she self settled. Not bad for first time sleeping alone.

Hope everyone else made it through ok, smile

Dysgu Sun 28-Apr-13 08:31:38

Hi all - have not been around for the past week or so... DP went back to work on Monday so has been me and the 3DC all week. The mornings have not been too bad as we had already put a pretty strict routine in place back in January so DD1 can be pretty independent in getting ready for school and DD2 can do lots for herself too. They also know how much they are helping me so they feel important - hope it continues.

Evan, OTOH, has been more of a challenge! He is still a very sleepy baby but is starting to wake up a bit more. He has been eating us out of house and home (helping us imagine the teenage years grin) - the trouble has been that half of what goes dribbles straight back out.

I self-diagnosed his tongue tie - this was the first week he had cried enough to see in his mouth. I saw the HV on Weds who agreed, told me to call NICU who fit him in their clinic on Friday morning. I was all set to argue my case as so many people had said they don't usually cut them - but consultant had a chat, took one look and agreed to cut it straight away.

Gosh the difference - it is only now that he is feeding easily that we can see what a challenge it was before. Evan's face was a picture when I gave him a bottle straight after the cut - I'm not sure he knew what do with his tongue - but days and nights have been so much better smile

off to catch up now ...

Trishstar Sun 28-Apr-13 08:48:32

Nicky glad that Evan is doing even better now! xxxx

HadALittleFaithBaby Sun 28-Apr-13 08:52:06

Mmmm Brie and bacon sarnie for breakfast!

num3onway Sun 28-Apr-13 09:38:53

Mmmmmm I have bacon, can I be arsed tho?

HadALittleFaithBaby Sun 28-Apr-13 10:07:34

It was so good, you should do it! smile

num3onway Sun 28-Apr-13 10:34:33

I settled on a cup of tea! Just had a bath and don't wanna smell like bacon lol

JoRich77 Sun 28-Apr-13 11:21:21

Hi all, thought I would join you. Baby bella is now 9 days old and things were going surprisingly well the first few days at home - she was feeding and sleeping regularly. But this morning had mini meltdown after she was up feeding on the boob almost constantly from 11pm to 4am. Worried I am not producing enough milk or something. Spoke to midwife and she said its normal for this to happen around this time as they go through a growth spurt. Doesnt make it any easier though ! Going to express today and get bottle ready for OH to feed her if this evening goes the same way as just too tired.

I have a question, how do you all get baby to sleep. I read that you shouldnt get them used to rocking or falling asleep on the boob. Those are the two methods I use , not sure hoe else you get a baby to sleep ?

num3onway Sun 28-Apr-13 11:56:58

With my first born he would go in cot/basket awake and go to sleep on his own, second was a nightmare he had to be cuddled and rocked - was one of them where you have to slowly slowly move away from them. Dd goes to sleep best on me, she has a couple of times nodded off ON her own but generally needs holding.
My point is all babies are differnt, you need to do what works for you and your baby at the time!
Plus in my opinion rocking a newborn to sleep is different to rocking a 6month + baby to sleep. Once they get bigger you can usually get them out of the habit (just don't wait til they are too big). I used controlled crying with ds2 from 6 months and it worked well, he was going to bed awake within a week and sleeping all night.
In the early days honestly just do what you need to do!

birdbrain17 Sun 28-Apr-13 11:59:41

can't remember who said it but I agree it's much harder to deal with the tiredness in the night, DH doesn't normally hear me get up to do feeds, but wakes up half way through them to find me sobbing over nothing hmm

Just need a quick moan I complained about my mum before on the an thread, well after birth I was so out of it and over the moon that I agreed to her coming to visit without really telling her how I felt, but now 12 days later I'm really regretting not having told her before she comes as I don't have energy for an argument but I'm really stressed about her coming, she's not sleeping here (thank god) but she's going to drive me crazy anyway, I'm really not feeling up to long visits from anyone yet especially not her, I'm feeling so stressed!!and when I spoke to her on friday she had to go have a rest as she was very tired from shopping for baby things, I never asked her to we have everything we need and last thing I need at the moment is to hear people say they're tired!!!!sorry for the moan I'm just so angry at her for being so selfish all the time

wishfulthinking1 Sun 28-Apr-13 21:43:37

Hi all-
Sorry I've not posted much- I do catch up on the thread every feed so I know what's going on with everyone, I just don't get around to posting!

Sorry to everyone going through a hard time- I completely agree that everything seems worse and darker at night time!

Things are going well here- cant believe Peter is over a week old- and I can't believe just how much I love him. He's so precious.

Feeding is going well- no routine or pattern to it yet, but he feeds well and usually settles well afterwards. I don't know whether to start expressing a bottle a day so DH can do a feed, or so I can leave him with my parents for an hour or so. Right now I can't leave him at all- what if he gets hungry? And to be honest, I'm just as happy not leaving him- but how long will I feel like that for? We have a wedding reception evening do next Saturday - I could spend this week trying to get him to have a bottle feed a day and then leave him with my folks- but I'm more inclined just to not go to the wedding. He's only so small once, and does it really matter if I don't leave his side for 6 months or so?
What do you think?


LikeCandy Mon 29-Apr-13 05:27:14

wishful everything I've read suggests not to give breast fed babies a bottle for as long as possible (at least not the first 6 weeks) to prevent nipple confusion. However you could syringe feed (we did this for top ups for a few early days) or cup feed (not tried this but I'm sure others on the thread can advise) or risk it and use a bottle with a slow teat! There's load of info on kellymom/llli that should help you decide.
I don't think anyone can tell you when you'll feel ready to leave Peter, I'm sure it's a very personal thing and everyone will be different. I have been -enforced to be away from baby for an hour or so occasionally when I've slept/showered and DH or my Mum have had her in another room. It was bearable as I could still hear if she cried! I don't feel ready to leave the house without her yet though.

Tonight BabyCandy wants to eat almost constantly / does not want to sleep in her cot. I've put her down and she's jiggling /wrestling with her sleeping bag and I'm hoping she'll tire.
In 3.5 hrs DH goes back to work so it'll just be me and girl. Plenty to do this week, but will start small with short journeys out and build up to going shopping in the city.

Oooh she's closed her eyes - going to close mine quick!!

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 29-Apr-13 06:14:55

jo I think ATM it's getting baby to sleep any which way! Faithlet generally falls asleep on the boob/ being rocked. It's totally normal. My MW said try not to introduce a bottle til at least 3 weeks which is our plan.

Rough night here. Settled on the earlier side but woke and fed for short periods. I Woke a couple of times with Her asleep on me. Just took a good 15 mins for her to latch on, was worrying! Definitely need DH to take over so I can nap! 5 days without poo too so calling the health visitor later. Nothing but worry is it?!

Mama1980 Mon 29-Apr-13 10:11:47

Hi all hope everyone had a good weekend? We did went to see my grandad yesterday and out to the park. 'twas lovely grin Alex is feeding every two hours and pretty much awake otherwise, he has a hospital check up on Wednesday, so fingers crossed but he seems fine. He is never still wriggles like a little worm grin think he's sick of being still! So far the novelty hasn't worn off for ds1 or dd they adore him he only has to open his mouth to cry and they come running, its lovely to see. I've managed to doze a little really but then I can't resist waking to watch Alex sleep anyway! grin
Am still having milk excess issues but 4 tomee tipee pads seem to work for a few hours, will try the other brand whoever suggested it thanks.
Num3 - I'm a single parent none see their father my dd is mine by sgo.

Mama1980 Mon 29-Apr-13 10:13:10

Jo- I use cuddles and boob! Did so with ds1 right up until he stopped bfeeding at 3 1/2 had no issues at all stopping. Think at this point you d whatever works. X

Mama1980 Mon 29-Apr-13 10:13:50

Faith- I don't think so but always worth checking with your hv anyway. Hope you sleep grin x

Mama1980 Mon 29-Apr-13 10:14:51

Dygsgu- glad to hear Evan is doing so well! Ad the tongue tie is sorted x

AmberLav Mon 29-Apr-13 10:26:52

"Wishful" - I was reading a thread on the breast & bottle feeding thread last night, where a mum was suggesting introducing a bottle at 2-3 weeks, if you wanted to avoid bottle refusing at a later date.

I know from my son that he had no problems with nipple confusion (didn't get breast feeding sorted till he was 17 days old, so had to mix feed) and we kept up one bottle a day even when he got it, as my supply always ran low in the evenings due to the initial problems.

We used the TT closer to nature bottles.

Also meant we had no problems at all when we started to cut back on the breast feeds before I went back to work at 9 months...

I need to decide if we'll do the same this time, but I'll probably decide when tiny is 2-3 weeks, and I'll see if my supply can cope with expressing this time...

AmberLav Mon 29-Apr-13 10:28:46

Oh, that's how you bold a name! Trying to read it all on a phone screen is tricky!

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 29-Apr-13 11:29:32

Have left a message with the HV team about the lack of poo.

We plan to introduce a bottle next Sunday at 3 weeks using breast milk I've expressed and see how it goes. I'm really hoping she'll take it in the evening because the incessant feeding/not settling in the Moses basket is taking its toll!

Trishstar Mon 29-Apr-13 12:21:14

Ladies is 140ml too much for Hunter? He's feeding 4 hourly and he's now 4 weeks old xx

num3onway Mon 29-Apr-13 15:05:04

140 about 5oz which is fine

Dd is 4 weeks tomorrow and takes 4-5 oz every 3-4 hours

Although by this age my boys were both on 7oz! Pigs!

Trishstar Mon 29-Apr-13 15:20:25

Thanks num! Xxxx

Teapig Mon 29-Apr-13 15:38:24

Hello ladies, I keep meaning to catch up but just haven't found the time to get on the internet since Theola arrived. I'll read back over everyone's news so I'm up to date but for now I could really use some advice.

Breast feeding went well for the first couple of days but by Friday night my left nipple was cracked and beyond painful. I hadn't got the latch right on that breast initially, though I know how to do it now as MW visited Friday morning. As I was in agony I switched to using the right breast only but I was getting enough supply to fill little one up so we turned to formula.

On Saturday it was still painful so I did a little breast feeding but mostly formula via a bottle. Sunday I was feeling much better so tried getting her on the breast but she doesn't want to know. Even when she gets the nipple in her mouth she doesn't latch properly but does a lot of head banging against the breast which is a feeding signal but she won't feed from me.

I feel terrible that I've confused her and now she will always be on the bottle and having formula. I'm expressing as much as I can so she still has my milk but I'm not getting enough. Milk flows freely from my right breast but virtually nothing comes from the left though it's much bigger than the right so seems to be swollen with milk. It's pretty uncomfortable and I'm freaked out at having one huge breast.

I'm really sorry for the me, me, me post but if anyone has any advice on how to get baby on the breast or how to increase milk flow from a breast that's engorged I'd be really grateful.

Will catch up on everyone's news now.

SneezySnatcher Mon 29-Apr-13 15:47:21

Wishful we're going to try H with a bottle next week (at three weeks). We left it too late with DD and she never, ever took one (which was a real pain). Hoping that he'll take to it so I can have a bit more time alone with DD out of the house!

KelleStar Mon 29-Apr-13 16:07:38

Teapig, sounds like left is engorged and is hard to feed from, have you tried expressing some off and then attaching her?

Lopsided boobs don't last, it can settle down and be more balanced.

Have you spoken with your local NCT breastfeeding expert? You don't have to be a member to use their services and they can sometimes spend a bit more time helping you get it right.

Don't feel like that's the end for you, it's early days and it can be very hard work, but it's worth it.

EssexWelsh Mon 29-Apr-13 16:10:12

Teapig what expresser are you using? May be worth investing in a good electric one to relieve to enforced breast?

enjay0811 Mon 29-Apr-13 16:32:21

Hi all! Jst checking in. Baby enjay has now been named Fleur is an absolute angel, feeding, sleeping and generally a laid back baby. Have had probs with latching on as ebf but fingers crossed this seems to have settled down in the last 24 hrs and it hurts much less. Have had great mw support and bf counsellor has foned to see how things are goin and will chk in again later in the week. The last week seems to have been a bit of a blur but feels like we're gettin bk to normality and routine now. First trip out of the hse for me and Fleur since she was born (homebirth) and it was lovely!

Fleur is now 6 days old - has anyone else had a bit of baby blues? I had a melt down on day 3, milk came in, visitors had been, dh was playin candy crush instead of bathing dd's and generally felt overwhelmed but since then jst feel a bit 'low' around tea time? I know I have nothing to feel crap about compared to those who have been in hospital, sick babies and having a hard time, but from those who are a little bit further along, are you feelin 'normal' again?!

AmberLav Mon 29-Apr-13 16:52:30

Teapig - as Kellestar says, you can fond your way back, it does just take tome and effort, sadly...

First, take the pressure off yourself, and try to be as well rested and supported as you can when you try to get things back on track. I seem to recall taking the edge of DS's hunger with a little bit of formula, so that he wasn't starving, and that way we could spend a bit longer trying to sort the latch.

Nipple shields might help you, as it's a bit easier for baby to get her mouth around - I used medela ones - they do mean baby sucks less milk, so they can help to decrease supply, which is why they are generally only used for short time. Same advice on eliminating them, take a quiet afternoon with no distractions...

Also Kellymom website is a godsend... Good luck

AmberLav Mon 29-Apr-13 17:06:37

Oh, and Teapig, if you do end up moving to formula, or mix feeding, you have not let your little girl down! She needs a mummy that is healthy and happy, and often that is incompatible with breastfeeding...

I remember deciding that I was going to ignore all the guilt trip info out there, and focus on the simple fact that breastfeeding was more convenient than bottles, and that was my incentive for spending two weeks really working on getting breastfeeding working

Giddypants Mon 29-Apr-13 17:33:45

teapig does yoir boob feel hot, tender and hard? if so it may be blocked you need lots of heat around it like hot towels hot water bottle or wheat bag. Take some pain killers to take the edge off and just express as much as you can to try and get things moving again. If you start getting flu like symptoms it may be mastitis which needs looking at by a dr.
don't worry this happened to me with ds1 at the beginning and he bf for 4 years grin

Teapig Mon 29-Apr-13 18:28:58

Thanks so much for all the advice and support.

kelle, I've tried expressing some off but very little comes even when we've done skin to skin and she's had that boob in her mouth. Stupidly I'd forgotten about our NCT breast feeding expert, I have her contact info and will get in touch thanks for the reminder.

essex, I'm using a pretty cheap manual pump so will look into getting an electric one.

Thanks for the advice amber, she is having some formula as I'm pretty much down to milk coming from one breast and I just can't express enough from that one to fill her up. Thanks for the reassurance too if BF doesn't work out, have to say I have horrible pangs of guilt which I'm trying to keep in check.

giddy, the left boob isn't hot but it's very, very hard and a bit tender. Thanks for the tip re using heat to help clear the blockage I'm going to try that now. I have been feeling a bit cold and did wonder if I had a chill so will keep a close eye on that in case it is mastitis. Great to hear that you BF your DS for so long after overcoming problems, sorry you had to go through it though it's bloody painful and frustrating.

lutrinae Mon 29-Apr-13 20:10:27

teapig, you can also try massaging the hard/lumpy patches while expressing and alternating with a hot flannel. Doing this while expressing might help, and expessing while feeding your LO on the other breast might help the flow. I did this with a manual pump with a very willing DP doing the massaging & pumping! smile

Cold Cabbage leaves in the bra will also help the swelling. I also found hand expressing in the bath helpful.

I second nipple shields to use while the nipple heals. Also plenty of lanisoh/breast milk on the nipples - after or before every feed.

For the latch remember to try different positions (this will also help with blockages), aim baby's chin tucked into your breast and the nipple towards the top of baby's mouth. I found this book super helpful:

Hope some of that helps!

lutrinae Mon 29-Apr-13 20:12:46

Hm, not sure if that link worked. It's The Food of Love by Kate Evans

EssexWelsh Mon 29-Apr-13 21:03:55

Baby for sale, 3 week old male, must be willing to breastfeed on demand every 20 mins, producing enough milk to satisfy baby that has put 38ozs in 3 weeks, be able to sleep instantly when he sleeps in 15 minute blocks and be able to entertain him when he's awake for a 5 hour window . Yes ladies my angel baby has turned into mr demanding and not sleeping! I am KNACKERED! Any tips ladies? Tonight if it means he'll sleep for a while, he can sleep on my chest in bed, I plan on putting pillows either side of me and going with it.

Don't worry about selling him DP has resolved any emotional harm by reassuring DS I'm only teasing wink

lutrinae Mon 29-Apr-13 21:26:36

Essex my LO (also 3 weeks) was doing the same a few days ago. The MW told me it was a growth spurt. Not sure if there's anything that helps but thankfully it has now passed and he's back to feeding every 1-4 hours. Might just have to see it through!

angeltattoo Mon 29-Apr-13 21:42:12

Hi all,

WOW what a weekend hmm

was away at my parents place, yesterday my DD fed for 11 hours !!

I was exhausted sad and also got a blocked left breast, lots of hot flannels and massage seemed to work. That left me plenty of time to google, and yes, it seems that a 10 day growth spurt is a real phenomenom.

Today she hasn't been too bad until 5pm, when we hit cluster feeding central. She is still on now! It is sooo hard.

Eeekkk. am dying for a shower and some sleeeeeppppppp.

too and others, I am also tearful at teatime ( like clockwork) and at 4am, when I find I am overwhelmed. The thought of the change DD has brought to our lives and the overwhelming responsibility is impossible to comprehend, and I have to take a deep breath and tell myself to take things an hour at a time.

It is such a relief to know there are others going through exactly the same things. This thread is awesome smile flowers

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 29-Apr-13 21:59:50

Thank goodness you lot understand how I'm feeling. We are having a growth spurt too, it started about day 10 and have continued with trust me at least once if not twice a day everyday since. They make me so tired and weepy! I have cried tonight and told DH I don't think I'm doing a good enough job with her and I'm worried I don't love her enough...I'm certainly happy to hand her over to others! That's Just because I have to feed her so much that I like the rest when someone else hold her for a while to give me a rest!

I love her, I'm just very tired and drained by it all at the moment. It will get better, I know..

LikeCandy Mon 29-Apr-13 22:19:02

Oh my gosh ladies, we've averaged feeding for 20mins every hour here (since about. 8 pm y'day) and I thought that was bad - you all have my sympathy! My bra is baggy because my boobs aren't getting chance to refill!
She's been asleep on my lap for the last half hour, I really want to pee and make a drink but I know if I move she'll wake and want to feed again!
DH is declining to hold her (he's had her for 20 mins at most today) because she cries when she isn't on me, I was even called back mid-wee because she was crying so hard!
I know I'm getting snappy with him and I wish I wasn't but I can't help it. So tired!

Hugs to all xx

EssexWelsh Mon 29-Apr-13 22:22:10

Angel and faith-it's like you could be writing about me! You have summed it up exactly! All you wanted was your baby and you do love them, of course you do, but just give me a night off being mum/milk farm and all would be well!

My DS has been feeding since 4pm also, keeps faking that he is asleep then lasts about 5 mins til he wakes for more food and where I have expressed and he's taken a bottle for last 3 nights he's refused it, not good. His awkward phase started at 20 days rather than 10, could this still be a growth spurt?

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 29-Apr-13 22:24:49

Probably essex, they don't always follow an exact pattern!

Ah she has found her fingers - never sure if she's sucking for hunger or comfort but after 4 hours feeding I'm letting her fingers take the battering rather than my nipples for a minute! smile

EssexWelsh Tue 30-Apr-13 01:08:50

So I'm wide awake as Blake stirred and I got ready to feed him, 30mins later he's is fasto and I'm wide awake, just brilliant when 2 and a half hours ago I was in tears begging him to sleep, tempted to wake him to feed so I can blinking sleep again, doh!

KelleStar Tue 30-Apr-13 07:54:58

Morning! Had a chaotic night with my two, a low flying jet woke up Bea at 2am, just after Wilf had finished his feed and we had burped and settled him back down, so she wanted to come in with us, she did for a bit then wouldn't settle so took her back to bed, was another hour before she settled and then Wilf woke for more boob, then got him settled. It felt really frustrating trying to deal with Bea fairly, she is normally such a good sleeper and rarely wakes in the night.

MiL was being really opinionated yesterday morning and nearly had me in tears. She doesn't like our choice or name or nickname, so she suggested another name that they will use instead, when I said no, she still said it doesn't suit him. I reminded her politely of the fuss she made over Bea's name. She was also disgusted that I had him in a sling while I put the washing on the line and played with DD, he should be in the cot in his bedroom, how very dare I. DH was having a nap whilst she took this jab at me. I was feeling pretty proud of myself for being out and getting on with things.

Growth Spurts are amazing things, it can be worth looking at some books. I was a fan of what to expect the first year and wonder weeks. Both good for development and growth spurts.

HadALittleFaithBaby Tue 30-Apr-13 08:10:38

Kelle how unhelpful of your mil! Stick to your guns with the name, like you say, she dealt with Bea! Funnily enough one of the main reasons I want to try a sling is because I can't imagine what I'd do with Faithlet when I put the washing out otherwise!

Anyone wise struggling to find a balance with night feeds? Last night Faithlet settled about 11.30 after a mammoth feed of about 4 hours (have worked out she tends to settle on the mattress by me if she feeds lying down). She settled and slept but I've had it drummed into me She mustn't go more than 3 hours between feeds. Well I woke her about 1.30 but she was so sleepy she struggled to latch but then didn't settle for another 4 hours, on and off boob but for 5 minute intervals but refused to settle in her Moses basket. In the end I was exhausted so I got DH to take her. She settled for short periods with him. Tonight if she's fast off I'm loathe to wake her - I think I'll leave her up to 4/5 hours if she's settled. It just seems counter productive to wake her!

KelleStar Tue 30-Apr-13 08:26:06

Sorry Bea wanted out of her cot, we've left DH to have a lie in, and now watching tractor ted!

My stitches this time are pretty big, I was 1cm away from a third degree tear. Spoke with a really unpleasant MW yesterday at Wilf's three day check about them and she was very dismissive of them. Was taking paracetamol and she actually recommended diclofenac as it's better for me... Though I am not allergic to it, it gives me nausea and diarrhoea and that would be worse than the discomfort of the stitches. She told me not to be so silly shockconfused even DH said something.

When I had Bea, with the growth spurts I would have a day snuggled in bed, plenty of skin to skin, lots of fluids for me and some good snacks/meals and would let her feed as it suited her. Not sure I can get away with it this time around.

He is such a lovely little chap, totally besotted, I am still amazed we have a boy, I was so expecting a girl smile and I am glad I didn't find out, DH's face when he saw him, unforgettable.

Mama1980 Tue 30-Apr-13 09:23:09

Kelle how unhelpful of you ils and the midwife. Can you see someone else if your still in discomfort? And stick to your name I love it for what its worth grin
Alex fed all night again, he's so hungry but getting really chubby now- can you believe I can say that?! We have been spending a lot of time outdoors relaxing in the fresh air-there's a pic on fb for those who are on there. Ad ds1 has been trying t get Alex onto his trampoline grin we compromised on a very quick lay Alex on and push down very gently- he loved it! He started kicking his arms and legs a mile a minute think he was trying to bounce more.
I am getting used to not being able to walk, with crutches i can now drag myself to the kitchen and cook.
Dd asked last night when I was going to stop smiling 'like a lunatic mother' - pretty sure the answer is never grin

Teapig Tue 30-Apr-13 10:02:46

lutrinae thanks for the advice on massage, that seems to help the milk come.

giddy thanks so much for the tip on using a hot compress that seems to be helping.

Still can't get Thea to feed from me, she'll take the nipple at best but won't suck. The MW is coming today so hopefully that will help.

mama it's amazing how well Alex is doing, it's such an inspiration.

brew and thanks to everyone dealing with growth spurts, I can only imagine how tough that is.

kelle I love your name choice, hope your MIL keeps her opinions to herself.

angeltattoo Tue 30-Apr-13 10:29:47

kelle your MIL is acting appalingly and you or your DH should tell her so. Opinions on your choice of name for your lovely boy do not need to be voiced, as she doesn't get a say! As for the sling etc, 'this is how we are choosing to parent. You had your turn to choose how to parent Xx years ago' now jog on

Faith, don't wake her at night, she'll wake when she's hungry smile

Bad night here hmm at 1am, when I'd been in bed for 6 minutes, my H told me to stay where I was, then he gave her a bottle of formula hmm she then slept all night, she woke once but DH managed to settle her.

I felt like shit, but OMG, the sleep was amazing and much needed!

I woke at 8.30 with massive boobs and scared she wouldn't latch, but she has just fed for an hour. An about to try an electric pump now for the first time.

enjay0811 Tue 30-Apr-13 10:48:23

faith I feel exactly the same about waking lo..she was feeding every 2 hrs 2 days ago, 3 hrly yday my boobs were ready to explode from jst 1 Hr difference! and last nite she went 5 hrs between feeds! Had another an hour later so think they'll let u know if they're hungry! ...I used a swaddle yday which may have had something to do with the increase in sleep - did someone mention up thread tht they're not recommend? Don't want to scare myself by Googleing but what are others thoughts?

mama it's such an inspiration to hear how well Alex is doing. How is your older ds's chicken pox now?

kell love the name wilf! When my eldest was born and we decided on Aurelia, my mum wasn't keen at all but soon got used to it!

All those dealing with growth spurts, sounds like I have fun to look forward to hmm funny how I've done this twice before but really don't remember it! Guess it is true when they say these things pass and we get thru it! Xx

enjay0811 Tue 30-Apr-13 10:52:15

angel well done for letting dh give formula flowers even if u only plan to ebf a happy mummy makes for a happy baby imo and sleep deprivation is torture! xx

HadALittleFaithBaby Tue 30-Apr-13 11:14:46

angel don't beat yourself up, you're doing what's right for you and your baby. I'm glad you slept! smile

Thanks for the advice. Yes, I figure she wakes and demands food in the day now - actually thinking about it I never have to wake her in the day! - so I'll trust her to do it at night too.