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Will strawberry blonde/'ginger' hair stay?- upset!

(51 Posts)
Bluberry Tue 12-Mar-13 02:43:15

My beautiful baby girl was born with red/'ginger' or strawberry blonde hair. In some lights it looks really fair and in others light brown but today it started looking quite red.
My husband and I are quite dark but I understand the red gene must be in our genes somewhere. My step daughter has bright red hair so it wasnt a complete shock but I didn't realise my family had the gene either so wasn't expecting it really. My step daughter was born with fiery red hair but my daughters is lighter.

I just feel so worried and upset that she may be open to bullies. People are already commenting on it and using the word 'ginger' which I think is hurtful.

Does anyone else have a red head and how does it make you feel?
Did anyone's baby's hair colour change from red to blonde or brown?

I don't want to cause offence.

ripsishere Tue 12-Mar-13 02:49:07

No such thing as strawberry blonde. It's pale ginger that is all (my friend with a pale ginger told me so it must be true)
I don't have red hair, nor does my DD. she was virtually albino for ages, but now is a mousy dull brownish color.
Red hair is lovely, I don't know any here (KL), but at her last school there was one boy with properly firry red hair. He was terribly popular with the girls and didn't suffer name calling.
Enjoy your DD.

ripsishere Tue 12-Mar-13 02:49:29

not firry, fiery

A couple of things. DD's hair was dark when she was born, then red, now blonde. I have strawberry blonde/light red hair and my DF is red. So, you never know.

Second thing... she will have a hard time from someone for something. Hair, spots, fat, big ears, liking books, who knows. Your job is to give her the love and confidence to guide her through dealing with this. Don't try to avoid the things that focus bullies. That's impossible. Just give her a big set of amour made of confidence and love. She'll be fine, red hair or not.

Bluberry Tue 12-Mar-13 03:07:06

Thanks. Yes I said to my husband that kids will find something sign anyone to pick on. You're right about the confidence too.

Cosmostocupcakes Tue 12-Mar-13 03:35:50

I am strawberry bonde naturally but darker as I got older/my husband is auburn - my son has the most amazing and beautiful red/golden hair - I am beyond in love with it - it completely suit's his mischievous nature. My daughers looks like it will be slightly dark and although have red in it not quite as amazing!

I don't think it is as rare to have red hair nowadays. And to be bullied for it? deal with it if it happens. wink wink

Ginger is not insulting. Its a colour...

SheepNoisesOff Tue 12-Mar-13 03:52:40

I have red hair. It's not a handicap, honest. And plenty of people without red jaar are bullied.

I think you are letting your own prejudices get in the way here. My 3mo DD seems to have a red tint to her hair. Am I worried? [Grin] No, just curious and impatient to see what it will turn out like!

Bluberry Tue 12-Mar-13 03:57:23

It's not necessarily my own prejudices- my dsd was bullied for having red hair so I know how it is a target for children and worry my child will also have to put up with it.

The most beautiful person I know has light ginger hair. Her hair is stunning and always being commented on.

Obviously there will be some idiots who engage mouth before brain, but I agree with PP. You need to forget what bullies might target and instead, strive to bring up a confident girl who believes in herself.

Doyouthinktheysaurus Tue 12-Mar-13 03:58:41

My delightful Ds1 who is 10 has the most beautiful bright orange hair. It is indescribably distinctive and wonderful.

He has never been teased and he loves his hair.

TBH when ds1 was a baby he got so much more attention because of his fiery hair colour, most people love a ginger baby!

I have ginger hair, no where near as bright as ds1's but its still ginger. I got teased but about many things, not just my hair colour. Now, I love my hair and have done for years.

Honestly, be proud, ginger is something to celebrate not commiserate!

SpeccyBat Tue 12-Mar-13 04:32:05

DD (7) has ginger hair. It's pure orange. Her eyebrows are the same shade, as is her eyelashes. It's long with her, with a fine texture and a gentle curl.

When she runs, she looks like she has a flame behind her. It's very striking. And it's ginger, not red.

So my advice would be to grow it to a style that suits her and suits the texture of her hair. If it's going to be prone to frizz there are products to ease that. If it's going to be really thick and thatchy, get a good cut etc etc. Shape the hair.

And make sure you shape her. Arm her with confidence. My DD is quite vulnerable really in other ways and can be quite 'geeky'. So we celebrate this and make her aware that people can often pick on things that make us different. She's only ever had compliments though.

I hope her colouring NEVER changes. I love it. Don't let your hang ups or prejudices cloud her mind. Start thinking and talking more positively about it from this moment on. You'll be surprised what our children pick up from us, no matter how young. You don't want her to start seeing her hair as a negative thing.

You could do what the parents of a friend of my DH's did. Stuck their DD in martial arts. She is now a fiery red-haired, fit, black belt. No one bullies her and she certainly doesn't go short of dates. Even black belt DH is a bit scared of her grin

Beamur Tue 12-Mar-13 04:39:36

My DD also has red/ginger hair - whatever you want to call it. It's beautiful and glorious! I think I've only heard one person make a vaguely uncomplimentary remark and to be honest he was a proper grumpy old man who I doubt has a nice word for anyone.
I worry that she will be teased at some point about it, but I can't stop that from happening - so all I can do, like others have said, is to help her have good self esteem and deal with it if and when it happens.
Hers is also very bright, she is 6 now and it hasn't dulled at all. Neither me or my DP have red hair, but my Dad does - it often skips a generation if you don't have 2 parents with red hair themselves. His was bright ginger as a child but has grown darker over the years and is a chestnut brown now.

Lavenderhoney Tue 12-Mar-13 05:03:03

Me and dh are dark and we have a redheadsmile its getting darker now, and he has dark blue eyes. In fact, it's more that people always, since he was a baby, have commented on his fabulous hairsmile recently, and he is 6, a boy in his class said ds hair is the most amazing colour ESP when the light is on it. Ds says " it's just hair" my dd is not a red head.

The only adverse comment we had was a woman who looked at me and dh, then at ds, and loudly asked if he was adopted or had a different father as he couldn't be dh's.

McGilly Tue 12-Mar-13 05:12:40

Is this concern about ginger teasing a very British thing?

My ds2 - 1 yo. - has flaming golden red hair. No idea where from. It attracts so much attention, all of it positive. My only concern is that his good looks overshadow his siblings.

McGilly Tue 12-Mar-13 05:13:41

Meant to add - sons hair has not changed in his first year, and we really hope it stays. It's a thing of beauty.

Beamur Tue 12-Mar-13 05:15:13

I think ginger-bashing is quite a British thing, one of the last bastions of 'acceptable' prejudice!

McGilly Tue 12-Mar-13 05:18:09

Without getting too personal OP, it might be a nice thing for DD to have in common with your DSD?

Not a British thing. My Scottish family think red hair is great, it's a badge of pride. Maybe an English thing. I don't know about the Welsh or Northern Irish...

Beamur Tue 12-Mar-13 22:46:10

I've wondered if it has some roots in the Celtic divisions/history in the UK...
My DD would fit in a treat in Scotland, she has a fine Scottish surname too thanks to my DP's family.

neolara Tue 12-Mar-13 22:50:52

My dd has a friend at school who started off in reception with bright ginger hair. The friend is now 8 and her hair has mellowed into the most stunning dark auburn - it's truly wonderful. She is a very lucky girl!

LemonPeculiarJones Tue 12-Mar-13 22:57:04

I've got red hair and apart from the odd catcall of 'Duracell!!!' from a couple of the dafter boys at school, which I didn't even mind really, I've had such a lovely time being red smile

Honestly, by the time she hits sixteen she'll be inundated with compliments about her Pre-Raphaelite locks.

Make her feel beautiful and give her confidence in who she is. And enjoy your gorgeous daughter!

Cien Tue 12-Mar-13 23:05:47

I was born ginger and am now a genuine natural blond.

My sister was born fair and is now light ginger.

My DSs were born carrot tops and have stayed that way. There are much worse things that could have happened.

DS1 came home very pleased with himself yesterday - the history teacher has told him he must have some (fierce) Celtic blood in him.

DS2 is pleased he won't have to dye his hair on Friday (wacky red hairstyles for Comic Relief)

RatPants Tue 12-Mar-13 23:10:39

My nephew had red hair when he was younger and now aged 9 he is almost as dark as me (which is very!).

steppemum Netherlands Tue 12-Mar-13 23:12:35

my ds has very bright red hair and I love it. he is very good looking, but he hates it and gets teased. He is very sensitive over it.

My niece also has red hair, pale ginger, it has gone slightly darker and redder as she has got older. Her hair is GORGEOUS. Thick wavy masses of reddish hair. Very pretty. She isn't teased, most people just think she is gorgeous.

I think it might be easier for girls.

If you are worried about it, you will give her a complex. Be positive and tell her how beautiful it is and how lucky she is to be a bit different

SecretNutellaFix Tue 12-Mar-13 23:12:50

I had red hair as a small child, darkened when I was around 3 until it is nearly black with white streaks at 33.

ouryve Tue 12-Mar-13 23:16:03

Many of us dye our hair red.

I got picked on for having a crooked nose, having big boobs, having a flat chest, being too clever for my own good, wearing the wrong clothes, having the wrong accent, being too fat, being too thin.

In short, kids can be shits and don't need ginger hair as the excuse.

ouryve Tue 12-Mar-13 23:19:24

Have to post this here grin

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVN_0qvuhhw

Thingiebob Tue 12-Mar-13 23:19:37

But ginger isn't hurtful, it's a description.

My 18 month old daughter is very ginger. I am very dark brown her dad is reddish / blonde. I love it. Her elder sister who is just blonde/brown won't let anyone call her ginger and insists on calling her strawberry blonde!

I am baffled that you are ao worried about it?! confused

fluffypillow Tue 12-Mar-13 23:30:54

My two older boys were born blonde, still are, but darker.

When my Daughter came along, I expected she would be the same colouring, but as soon as she was born (before I'd even laid eyes on her) the midwife said 'oooh, you've got a strawberry!' . Very strange thing to say confused

As the days went by, she seemed to become a little more red, and people commented on it often. Then, a few weeks later her hair started to get lighter, and it turned blonde!

She is 2 now, and has no red at all. She is completely blonde.

McGilly Tue 12-Mar-13 23:37:05

Maybe time to stock up on Mernda merchandise from Brave!

steppemum Netherlands Tue 12-Mar-13 23:42:36

If you want to know how ginger she might end up, look at her eyelashes and eyebrows. ds was ginger on every hair of his body from birth, he actually had almost no hair as a baby, but there was no doubt her was going to be a red head.

steppemum Netherlands Tue 12-Mar-13 23:43:40

Thingiebob - my ds gets upset if you call him ginger.

luanmahi Tue 12-Mar-13 23:43:58

My hair was really ginger when I was younger but has become duller (and now is getting the odd grey hair which is slightly concerning) and I go out of my way to dye it as bright red as I can.

And ginger isn't offensive. It's the name of a hair colour.

I always remember being told some of the most beautiful women in the world had red hair. If it's good enough for Rita Hayworth, Maureen O'Hara, Sophia Loren, Ann Margaret, Susan Sarandon, Nicole Kidman, Isla Fisher, Amy Adams, Florence Welch and Lily Cole, it's good enough for anyone.

steppemum Netherlands Tue 12-Mar-13 23:45:03

and it isn't a description. I have never seen fresh ginger root, or ground ginger that is anywhere near the colour of ds hair.

His hair is bright orange, not red or ginger, actually orange. But whatever the colour, he hates it sad and it is so lovely

mashpot Tue 12-Mar-13 23:47:24

Wow, the word ginger is hurtful to you? I honestly can't believe this is what you worry about for child.

CarpeDiemCras Tue 12-Mar-13 23:50:49

As a full blown ginger, I fail to see why on earth you would want your child to change.

You are dark, she's still fair, but might be ginger. So she could be anything from strawberry blonde through auburn by the sounds of things. I'm assuming she's still tiny, so can't see the merit in over-thinking this at the moment.

Honestly OP, I know you don't mean offence, but it is a little bit offensive. Try substituting redhead with other features or inate characteristic kids might use to take the piss / bully and see how it sounds.

Oh and I hope to god your step daughter isn't seeing any of your worries about this. Kid doesn't need to know it'd be a relief not to be ginger...

steppemum Netherlands Tue 12-Mar-13 23:53:04

no, the word isn't hurtful to me. But lots of people have said it is just the description of a colour. I disagree. I think ginger is used as an insult in the UK (or maybe just in England). My ds has been known to burst into tears when people call him ginger, or gingernut or carrot tops. He is a pretty tough 10, but he has been teased over his hair, and he feels powerless as he can't change it, and it makes him stick out like a sore thumb.

he is mature enough to say that really if they didn't pick his hair they would just find something else, like his big feet. But he does feel it, and he doesn't like it.

So I ''worry about it'' because it causes my ds distress.
I thought I had actually made that clear already, hmm

steppemum Netherlands Tue 12-Mar-13 23:54:37

And I love his red hair and wouldn't change it for the world. I hope one day he feels the same

leaving aside the arguments about whether it is likely to lead to bullying etc.

Sometimes when the hair is changing from dark to light it goes through a slightly red phase usually within the fisrt few months as the prper hair starts to come in. We have a few red heads in my family i have a sister with proper red and 2 brothers with fair red. My mum always says that the red heads are either red or bald to start with. she didn't have any or been in contact with any babies that went red from another colour if that helps.

steppemum - if he has the confidence it's better to make his own issue of it. I know a little boy who calls himself "the ginja ninja". Other kids think he is cool and after you've used the word yourself it loses the ability to hurt. If someone calls him ginger he just shouts back, "yes, that's me, the ginja ninja!"

VicarInaTutu Wed 13-Mar-13 00:08:55

i should be a red head, i have green eyes and very pale skin. i used to dye it red. i loved it.

im having a blonde spell now and enjoying that too.

you are worrying over nothing - truly. anything that stands out on anyone can be a target for bullies - my dd (15) has blonde waist length hair, she is 5ft 7 and stunning.

she gets called 'spaghetti legs'.

because she has legs like a giraffe and she is very slim. go figure that one out! i cant.
she is beautiful and clearly inspires jealousy. red hair is lovely. i really wouldnt worry.

ProPerformer Wed 13-Mar-13 00:20:40

Personally I find red haired women extremely beautiful! My friend has the most wonderful red hair and is bloody GORGEOUS!!
In my view, people bully people with red hair because they're Jelous!

TheSecondComing Wed 13-Mar-13 00:27:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VicarInaTutu Wed 13-Mar-13 00:32:29

....and i would bet that as a natural red head you can go any colour...easily. lighten up to blonde....easy.

go darker....easy.

im naturally very dark brown which i truly dont think fits my colouring at all. Red worked and blonde works - but its all a bit hard to maintain from brown!

we are never happy are we whatever we have....if you have straight hair you want curls.
curly people want poker straight hair....
blondes want to be brunettes
brunetts fancy a change and want to be blonde...

if we are short we want to be tall and wear heels
if we are tall we stand out too much and wear flats....
we change our eye colour with contacts
we change our hair colour with dyes
we change our skin colour with fake tan

we are never happy! be assured that what ever your DD ends up with she will colour it something else! grin

TheSecondComing Wed 13-Mar-13 00:37:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluberry Wed 13-Mar-13 20:08:40

Hubby's gran was a red head but there doesn't seem to be any red in our family. I keep reading that it must be present on both sides but I'm wondering if it might change as it doesn't seem to be on my side - although in sure it could be underlying.

Umlauf Wed 13-Mar-13 20:22:41

I'm pregnant now. DH has the most beautiful hair I have ever seen on a man. It's thick, shiny, and a really rich, darkish ginger.

I am soooo hoping our baby will have his hair.

He, on the other hand, is not, due to his own experience of school name calling. So I can see both sides of the argument. I do think boys get teased more than girls about it sadly.

Bluberry Wed 13-Mar-13 21:21:36

CarpeDiemCras- As for the comments about my dsd. She is 16 and has lived through years of bullying to the point where she dyes her hair dark and refuses to allow even a root of red through so I am not being unkind and calling her ginger. It upsets me to think that she was bullied about it and knowing how it made her feel, and how she has escaped it now by dying her hair, I worry that this will all be repeated for my child!!

I appreciate that kids will pick on anything different.

CarpeDiemCras Wed 13-Mar-13 22:20:42

Sad to hear that about your DSD Bluberry. I hope as she gets older that improves & she comes to feel better about it.

I do know some people who were teased horribly about their hair, but your DSD's experiece sounds like it must've been particularly bad if she's still feeling that way at 16.

I suspect most red heads do put up with a bit of stick & maybe even a bit more than a non-red headed child, but it won't necessarily be a repeat of your DSD's experience.

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