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FEB 2010 Three is a magic number, yes it is......

(999 Posts)

Come and take shelter from the DC here, folks!

<offers tiffin, millionaire shortbread and other forbidden goodies>

StoneBaby Thu 07-Feb-13 14:41:40

Here I am...

StoneBaby Thu 07-Feb-13 14:42:12

Can you guess that I'm bored at work!?

ClimbingPenguin Thu 07-Feb-13 14:54:08

ha ha, spot the lurkers grin

ScienceRocks Thu 07-Feb-13 15:05:37

<settles in>

Thanks IC!

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Thu 07-Feb-13 15:23:28

3rd pupil who cancels at the very last minute this week <I was actually walking there> <wonder if I am so crap or if there is a bug going on>

SocietyClowns Thu 07-Feb-13 16:43:25


SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Thu 07-Feb-13 16:56:28

Found you! Should be playing Thomas the Tank Engine Uno though!!

stoofadoof Thu 07-Feb-13 20:44:10

<hello from the northern outpost> sorry not been about much the last week or so… just a bit busy in RL… thinking of you all lots though

Bearcrumble Thu 07-Feb-13 21:21:58

Hello, thanks for new thread IC.

Another easy put down with just a few mins shush pat at 8.

DS was talking to himself in bed "I'm going to poo in the bath and poo in their bed IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT".

SconesForTea Thu 07-Feb-13 22:48:31

Thanks IC!

bc how funny, today DD1 was saying she was going to wee on her snuggly, first time she's ever said anything like that. Then pretended to wee in her potty upside down. A friend's nearly 4yo is smearing poo on the walls shock

Bearcrumble Fri 08-Feb-13 08:39:15

Oh Jesus! Don't know how I would cope with that. My mum once put her hand in her nappy and ate hers - more in a spirit of enquiry than anything sinister I'm sure.

Happy to confirm bed and bath poo free.

ClimbingPenguin Fri 08-Feb-13 13:00:38

stinky stinky asthma

<ignores potential for wee and poo incidents>

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Fri 08-Feb-13 21:03:39

Brilliant BC!! DS2 headbutted me tonight for fun. That didn't go down well, I can tell you!! DS1 once hid behind his blind on the window sill during nap time, did an explosive fart, put his hand in his nappy to check the outcome, and then smeared the results all over the window/blind/pyjamas etc.. DH was not impressed. For me, it's bread and butter with the kids I work with.

Poor you CP. I saw the cat family again today - same reaction so I'm with you.

SocietyClowns Fri 08-Feb-13 22:00:26

IC How did your dd respond to nursery today?

rainbowweaver Fri 08-Feb-13 23:44:30

Thanks IC!

Someone asked about London, and buggies/tube. We used to take DD in a sling when she was 18 months old, and these days just her walking as she refuses to get in a sling now and we've never got on with a buggy.

So baby in sling and toddler walking would work. Means no need to worry about buggies. Toddler does need to be carried occasionally but not for very long usually.

DD has recently decided to occasionally pretend to be a baby. All well and good, except that this morning she decided that peeing in a potty was what babies did. Luckily I managed to intercept her before anything was produced, pointing out how dusty it was. Mental note to make sure we put away all the potties...

And on hitting, DD bashed me on the head with her pirate sword, so I did a loud "ow!" Cue quiet thinking, followed by a "sorry, mummy!" And a kiss on my head. smile

Ha ha at the poo threats, Bc!! And good news about the bedtime settling - it's half the battle in my experience - sometimes even more than that. Once DD could get herself off to sleep at bedtime, not only did the night wakings reduce dramatically, but after a few more months she started to sleep through (intermittently) without night weaning.

Sorry to hear about the asthma CP, Survival.

Much better session at nursery yesterday - I stayed for an hour or so, making myself as scarce as possible while DD did her thing. We had made an "All About Me" box in the morning for her to take in, which got other children interested and one of the staff was lovely about encouraging DD to show the things and talk about them. I think the real breakthrough was when they put DD's favourite song on the CD player ("Song 2" by Blur) and she and a couple of other children started dancing. Eventually, when DD decided she wanted to go upstairs to the studio and do some "art", I got her permission to leave for a short while. Came back just over an hour later and she was fine and not especially keen to leave. She'd had tea, including a ham sandwich (!! She's a veggie - but I've told staff she can eat meat/fish if she wants to. I don't want to stop her trying new foods, even if we don't have them at home...). She agreed she had enjoyed herself at nursery - even though she tried every trick in the book to avoid going (which riled me so much I figured she had to go if only to keep her safe from my rising ire...!)

SocietyClowns Sun 10-Feb-13 11:01:11

Don't think I am fully trained yet... dd2 shared a cupcake from a party with dd1 yesterday and complained that the icing was too sweet. Without thinking I reached over and took the icing off, only to be confronted with a furious dd2, tears streaming down her face 'You've ruined it!' blush That told me...

ClimbingPenguin Sun 10-Feb-13 11:07:57

I broke the last banana upon opening it the other day soc

SocietyClowns Sun 10-Feb-13 11:37:35

How could you CP! grin

StoneBaby Sun 10-Feb-13 15:25:37

DS gets upset if I cut his toast into soldiers but he always wants me to 'break' it confused

Getting ready to go on holidays tomorrow and packing to go to the snow grin

ScienceRocks Sun 10-Feb-13 20:30:28

Dd2 does this too - many a sandwich soiled by tears thanks to me foolishly cutting it to make it easier to eat smile

SocietyClowns Sun 10-Feb-13 22:34:16

Last night dd2 came running down the landing very upset and then jumped because I appeared out of nowhere (to her; I am impressed I heard her and was awake so quickly at 3 am). She said there was a dragon beside her bed. We went to check, she jumped again looking at her bed, but we only found her cuddly toy. I realised she was seriously hot, so got the ear thermometer (39.5) , calpo and waterl. She then very sweetly asked if I could please sleep with her for a bit, which I did. Much easier with her in a single bed! I still wonder if she had a bad dream or was actually delirious. She was still a little anxious going to bed tonight but I left her door wide open with the hall light on and she settled fine. Definitely no dragons, I checked!

SocietyClowns Sun 10-Feb-13 22:42:20

SR dd2 is not keen on breakfasts usually and a few weeks back we left her cereal to take dd1 to school first. When we got back dd2 wanted her cereal after all and then howled that it had 'melted' (gone soggy) grin.

Bearcrumble Mon 11-Feb-13 08:39:24

SC hope her temp is better and no dragons appear.

It's bloody snowing and I have to go out to get birthday party food. Doing his party tomorrow morning as it's when most of his friends are free so can't postpone shopping trip. Grr.

SocietyClowns Mon 11-Feb-13 08:43:23

BC no dragons and no snow here smile. Hope the snow is short lived!

Dd2 was a bit muddled this morning and asked 'Did I want porridge?' I told her yes, so she ate it without a fuss... grin. Quite amusing to think she totally forgot to have a meltdown over breakfast (her speciality).

SocietyClowns Mon 11-Feb-13 08:45:21

SB Hope you do have lovely snow and sunshine and a fantastic break!

SocietyClowns Mon 11-Feb-13 08:52:55

IC Sounds like your dd did well on Friday :-) How many sessions does she do? And is there the possibility for her to switch to morning sessions when a place becomes available, so she can keep her afternoon nap for a bit longer?

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Mon 11-Feb-13 12:46:36

shock at the poo smearing <not ready for that, never happened with DD1>

So DD2 also has a conjunctivitis probably due to wiping her nose and then her eye hmm, so drops too.

She is painting now I should probably keep a closer eye on her...

BC Good luck <I am so totally over the snow right now, it has been a long winter>

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Mon 11-Feb-13 12:47:13

soc I hope your DD2 is better.

SocietyClowns Mon 11-Feb-13 13:27:18

Mous dd2 seems over her ear ache but has quite a heavy cold.

She is a little amused that she has a week off on half term smile. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I am still astonished how last week went. She did four days in her new nursery (one day free, they invited her to come in because they had a party and thought she would like to stay the whole day) and loved every minute of it. She made a new best friend on her first day and is already part of a little group of girls her age. It's almost as if she grew up a bit in that week, too. It's a big difference to her to be among 3 and 4 year olds rather than being the oldest, and the nursery is very good at promoting independence. On her first day she loved the fact that as the new girl she was first in the queue to chose her lunch (with help and within reason!) and carry her own tray smile. She's also much keener to dress and undress herself and is a little more assertive with dd1 (dd1 is on the whole a gentle and kind big sister but does sometimes dominate a bit by being bigger and more articulate). She also seems chattier and can go on at some length trying to get her point across wink. Right now she is next to me doing puzzles (including her favourite with 50 pieces shock) and instructs me to clap whenever she has finished one grin. It really feels like she has left toddlerhood behind and is a 'real' child now... <feeling sentimental>

Fabulous that DD2 has settled into the new nursery so easily, SC!

Get well soon Mous DD2

How annoying Bc, hope you manage to sort out the provisions okay.

Ah yes, "fixing" food - another one that sets off DD here. Woe betide us that we do anything in the name of making it more simple for her to eat - or eat bits she doesn't want (even with permission quite often).

Horrendous day with DD yesterday. Not sure whether she was a bit poorly (although she felt quite hot, her temperature was only around 37) or whether it was to do with the withholding, but she was a grumpy misery-guts all day. We went to the local Aquarium, which was great but DD grumbled throughout, scarcely touched her lunch and back home, wouldn't get off the sofa after her sleep, just kept moaning that she needed to do a poo (but didn't do it). She didn't touch a bite at supper, just saying she wanted to go to bed but was then awake for ages (I gave her a bit of Calpol). I felt emotionally spent at the end of it. Loads of Movicol and still nothing. Almost needless to say, PT/TT now completely on the back burner - she doesn't even show any interest in using the potty or toilet nowadays.

But today she was much brighter, had a better appetite and more energy, even before she finally did a poo. So who knows, maybe she was just a bit poorly? She's at nursery now - DH dropped her off and said she seemed a bit forlorn, but was being encouraged to show some more children her "All About Me" box, so hopefully she'll be jollied out of it.
I love her dearly, but if I could wave a magic wand, DD would have no toileting issues, would NOT be a fussy eater and would generally be more enthusiastic about new experiences.....

SocietyClowns Mon 11-Feb-13 13:51:08

IC fx for her afternoon in nursery smile

dd2 just told me off for clapping because she hadn't told me to do so yet... confused grin. If anyone is interested, her favourite puzzle is the playground one by Orchard Toys.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Mon 11-Feb-13 17:00:20

The doc. said seeing DD2 file "wow 3 years, lets measure her" confused I thing she is making some kind of experiment with her. She has seen her since 2 weeks old...
Any way, yes she is big! 105 cm 17.5 Kg with all her ribs showing and 3 cm taller than DD1 at that age who was already tall <--and much chubbier-->

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Mon 11-Feb-13 17:01:08

my strikings don't work anymore.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Mon 11-Feb-13 17:01:43

SOC grin wink

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Mon 11-Feb-13 17:02:34

IC I hope your DD will settle quickly < -- and poo-- >

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Mon 11-Feb-13 17:02:50


LeMousquetaireAnonyme Mon 11-Feb-13 17:03:01


SocietyClowns Mon 11-Feb-13 17:12:11

mous Her height and weight are in proportion though which is fine. According to my chart it makes her the average height and weight for a 4 1/2 year old grin but she is also still within the chart for a tall 3 year old!
And at least your girls are both tall. I get a lot of comments about dd2 because she looks tiny next to me and dd1 wink.

SocietyClowns Mon 11-Feb-13 17:18:52

Just caught dd2. She's 15kg and is 93cm which is not in proportion... seems she's growing sideways rather than up grin

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Mon 11-Feb-13 17:39:43

ah! but DD1 does that before a growth spurt! wink <I mean grows sideway> Your DD2 doesn't looks like she is going sideway BTW, DD1 was chubbier.

ClimbingPenguin Mon 11-Feb-13 18:16:25

12kg, 88cm

I've no idea how heavy and tall DD is - must measure her one of these days (tricky, seeing as we have neither a tape measure nor a set of scales....) - but it's fair to say she's still dinky.

She had an okay day at nursery - DH said she was on her own staring out of the window when he arrived to pick her up and she hadn't touched any tea. But she was fairly chipper about it when she arrived back and hasn't said anything about not wanting to go back again, so with any luck, she'll settle properly before long.

Bearcrumble Mon 11-Feb-13 21:49:41

Orchard toys things are great. We have their shopping list memory game - ds loves it.

SocietyClowns Mon 11-Feb-13 22:17:59

mous I've been waiting for that growth spurt for a year wink

IC She will get there smile. It is all very new to her and if she has been feeling under the weather it's not surprising that she is a little underwhelmed right now. Which age group is she with? Do they mix all ages or is she mainly with 3 and 4 year olds? She's a bright little thing so maybe she feels a little at a loose end with younger children? Just thinking aloud here... I am sure she will settle in her own time. It sounds like a fantastic place!

BC I agree, we have lots of their puzzles smile

dd2 told me more about her new nursery at bedtime, sang the welcome song they use in the morning complete with hand movements, and told me you have to stand in a big circle for it. And did I and dh sing the same song when we were little? grin. She also said when they sit on the floor for stories the children all put their legs like so (attempt at crossed legs) but that she can't do that yet grin.
Staff did tell me that although she's had a really good start there may be a blip when the novelty wears off... I am also not sure she'll be so keen on swimming (she'll start that once a week after half term) although the swimming teachers is wonderful.

Quiet day here, freezing cold outside. I did chase the girls round the park for a bit this afternoon just to get some fresh air but all of us were glad to get back inside.

SocietyClowns Tue 12-Feb-13 08:29:38

I asked Dd2 if she slept well and she told me no because she had had to sleep outside like her sister shock grin. Just hoping nursery workers take most things with a pinch of salt!

Sounds great, SC!

Well, another horrendous morning with DD - she didn't sleep well last night (withholding) and ate virtually nothing, just stayed on the sofa all morning. We decided not to try nursery today. She perked up a bit after she did some of her poo (not all, though...) and had a lunchtime nap - managed to eat a reasonable snack and a bit of supper. But her appetite is still below what it usually is. And she's still withholding. We spoke to the nursery manager and hopefully they'll put in some extra hand-holding for DD next week. But we're only giving it one more week and if there's no sign of improvement, we'll forfeit our deposit and take DD out. After all, it's one thing for her to be a bit upset at nursery to start with, another when she reacts to the extreme that it's severely affecting her sleeping, eating and bowel movements. I can't keep putting her through that (or the rest of the family, come to that....DH and I are getting stressed out about it too).

It does worry me that she's responded like this - internalising the stress and taking it out on her own body. I have fears that this type of personality trait may lead to problems in the future - eating disorders, self harming etc. So I've resolved to try and sort out some play therapy for DD in the hope that it will help her to find less harmful outlets for her emotions and anxieties. I'm worried that if we leave it, these kind of responses will become entrenched.


Sorry if you think I'm over-reacting, but DD has been severely out of kilter off and on since her first solo session at nursery. And I can't sit by and watch it impact on her health. Such a shame, because she was so enthusiastic to start with.


SocietyClowns Tue 12-Feb-13 20:32:44

IC I don't think you are overreacting at all. You know your daughter best! <hugs> And you are quite right to deal with any anxiety issues sooner rather than later. Poor little thing sad

StoneBaby Tue 12-Feb-13 20:55:11

Quick post while DH and DS are sleeping.

IC <hands holding>

DS is 96cm and 14kg. As we're at my parents he's sleeping in a thick matress on the floor and we've just realised he slided and was on the tiled floor (brr). But he didn't wake up when put back. So now weneed to think of a planB

SocietyClowns Tue 12-Feb-13 22:03:17

SB How about a single duvet put over him sideways with the ends tucked under the mattress? I'm doing that with dd2 at the moment since she's in a single bed. Seems to work in keeping her roughly in place, facing the right way up, and covered grin

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Tue 12-Feb-13 23:28:14

IC can I be honest? As a teacher, and a mum who has had to use childcare, I think DD's responses are not particularly unusual for a child who has not been away from you much before (and not repeatedly, routinely). I get what you are saying about her health suffering and and you and DH being stressed too, but I'd be tempted to stick it out a bit longer if you can. After all, I'm assuming that she will go to school in 18 months (unless you are intending to home educate?) and it might feel strange for her to have gone somewhere fun with the grown-up children for a couple of weeks but then not be able to go anymore. Have you thought about how you would explain it to her if you decide to stop the sessions? In my experience, children who have been to pre-school for some sessions before starting school find the transition into school much easier than those who have not. Obviously, you've got plenty of time to try again if necessary and she will change dramatically in 18 months anyway (and you know best, as SC says). Just wanted to give you a slightly different view from a less involved party. Hope that's okay and that she will settle, whatever you decide. I know how stressful it is when they are not settled and I feel for you all.

Will try to come back to reply to the rest of you tomorrow at a more appropriate hour.

ClimbingPenguin Wed 13-Feb-13 08:38:22

I used to take DD after her naps, but then found she did a lot better having her nap there. Woke up and was OK at the situation. Meant initially having to keep her awake. Hopefully you can speak with the nursery and they can help you to come up with some other ideas to try.

SocietyClowns Wed 13-Feb-13 08:43:00

Our LOs are starting school in 18 months!!! shock shock shock

ScienceRocks Wed 13-Feb-13 10:38:13

IC, I think I'm with Survival on the nursery situation and would be inclined it give it a bit longer. While she may well be struggling to settle at nursery (and initial enthusiasm followed by reluctance is quite common, as the novelty wears off and the reality that this is the new routine kicks in), there may be something simpler at play - for example, how is her diet and fluid intake at nursery? The busyness of the setting, coupled with shyness about eating and drinking in front of people she doesn't know, may not be helping the constipation. My two both went through phases of coming home from nursery really thirsty and it was because they were just too caught up in playing to drink. Once I spoke to them (and the nursery), it quickly got better. I think it is worth exploring.

CP, how is the asthma? Was it you who was asking about doing stuff in London? I have done stuff on my own with both DCs but am always careful to plan it out, so I know that stations are accessible (if I have a pushchair) and that I know exactly where I am heading, both in terms of travelling and eating. I find getting about with both of them takes all my attention, so I have to have everything else already in my head so I don't need to look anything up grin If you do decide to do a London trip, let me know as I may be able to meet you.

SB, Soc's method for mattress sleeping is the one we use (even for beds to ensure they don't get untucked or fall out). Did you have a good birthday?

DD2 had a great birthday, thanks for all the wishes. We went to Chessington to see the animals during the day, then had some friends and family over for tea and cake in the afternoon, before having family dinner (chicken teriyaki with sticky rice at her request). Then the next day we met my brother and his family for lunch (Japanese again!), and on Monday she had a little party at nursery (i sent in a cake, some party food and little presents for the kids). Now I am writing thank you cards!

How is everyone else?

ScienceRocks Wed 13-Feb-13 10:41:15

Soc, meant to say that I'm so pleased your DD2 is loving pre-school. My DD2 will be starting at hers (where I am parent governor already) in September, but has her first taste next week when she goes to the holiday play scheme there for a day with her sister. She is super-excited smile

I am much less worried about the actual getting into school for DD2 than I was for DD1 as she will get a sibling place, and, again, she is already excited about the thought of going to school with her sister that I think she will be fine.

ScienceRocks Wed 13-Feb-13 10:42:30

Can't remember who said their DC was obsessed with jigsaws! DD2 is too - has done seven already this morning and can do 50 pieces on her own shock All while singing and chatting, of course grin

ClimbingPenguin Wed 13-Feb-13 11:07:55

I don't think the stations that I get into London are accessible so I am dithering over London, plus it's an hour train. I think I'll try it with DH first.

Asthma is better. I cam down with a cold on Saturday so the being short of breath lasted from Thursday night until Monday in the end which was a bit pants.

DS now spends his time climbing onto the table. I am hoping that DD is coming down with a cold otherwise her awkward behaviour over the last two days is just for no reason.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Wed 13-Feb-13 11:35:47

IC I agree with sotu and SR, she hasn't been in long enough to say it isn't working.
She might need a more structure day than Montessori provides too?
DD1 needed (still) strict rules (routine) so she could follow and be aware of everything that happens. She still has crying sessions or gets very stressed if something changes.
One of DD2's friend was the same as DD1 and her mum made a drawn schedule for her to follow at nursery a few months ago. (i.e. take off clothes, go to play room, play, snack, story time.... mum coming back). It took a while for her to settle but she is fine now.

For the toilets it takes a while for the kids to know the rules and who to ask, DD2 had a lot of accident at the beginning because she didn't know how to ask or who (she would say "pipi" and wait for something to happen even if no adult where within earshot).

Also for anxiety I recommend that book www.amazon.com/What-When-You-Worry-Much/dp/1591473144, for you to find some tricks to help her. DD1 (stubborn!) reads it on her own, but it is supposed to be a tool for the parents to help their children. I know your DD is too small for it, but some things can be adapt to her age and understanding.

Finally are all ages mixed? If so, can she have an older helper? DD1 used to do that at nursery (because she loves it). She would take care of the youngest and show the rules and what to do.... until they were comfortable.

Ultimately if you are all stressed about it may be stop for a while and try in a few months (september) in a different setting, may be?
I hope it gets better soon.
Good luck.

SocietyClowns Wed 13-Feb-13 12:06:31

SR The penny just dropped... This is the reason dd2 had such an astonishing week last week, because it's her sister's school!! smile She would normally start in September, too, but if they have space they allow 'early birds' providing the child is ready.

ClimbingPenguin Wed 13-Feb-13 12:47:39

DD descended into a mess so had to post before I had the chance to say Science sounds like it was a lovely day and impressed at the puzzles. DD can do them but likes to do them together plus with DS she doesn't have unlimited access to them. It's on the shelf of things we do when DS is asleep and she isn't.

So what are you suggestions of things to do in London?

sb hope your birthday is good, you too soc there are a lot of adult birthdays this week. Found out I am not tutoring on mine so trying to think of something to do. Seems getting a few mums together for a drink at this short notice is a step too far.

Thanks for all your thoughts!

DD is back to her old self today - did a big poo without too much drama (she's back in nappies Mous - she herself has lost interest in using the potty and toilet for the time being and until the withholding becomes less of an issue, there's not much point in us pushing it.....Science DD is on a Movicol regime, so lack of food/fluid at nursery wouldn't cause her constipation to get worse as we so thoroughly dose her earlier in the day....) and has been eating fine again and full of spirit and energy.

We're going to give it another week and believe me, I want it to work out as I still think this will be a great environment for DD once she gets the hang of it. Incidentally, my MIL who runs a nursery herself was quite shocked at the severity of DD's reaction.

Today we've been doing some home-made play therapy, playing "nursery school" with DD, who's been responding nicely. This helped us elicit that the staff member she's bonded with wasn't there on Monday and then she wanted Daddy to take her home....that staff member is beck next week, so hopefully she'll be willing to put the work in to help DD get settled. I've also been doing some play therapy on the withholding too - not sure if that's why today's evacuation happened fairly easily, but I'm hoping it helped a bit anyway!!

The nursery staff are discussing DD at their meeting this week, so hopefully that will mean all of them are aware that she needs that extra bit of encouragement, even if it appears she doesn't (part of the problem - DD just goes quiet and withdrawn if she's unhappy, so it goes unnoticed)....

I'm a bit disappointed it didn't occur to them already that a newcomer like DD who hasn't previously attended a nursery, let alone a Montessori set up, might need extra support to start with hmm

If we do decide to all it a day with this nursery, I have every intention of trying a different pre-school instead - I'm not intending to send her into Reception without having got the hang of being in situations without Mummy or Daddy there.... One of the other pre-schools we looked at was lovely and DD liked it, so I would be inclined to move her there if necessary.

ClimbingPenguin Thu 14-Feb-13 08:59:00

anyone else's DCs talking a lot in made up words?

Bearcrumble Thu 14-Feb-13 09:15:25

Made up words, grunts, shrieks, clicks, funny walks - you name it. I am a pooka apparently. Also the poo/wee/bum stuff is tiresome now. It's constant. He's been SO contrary for the last few days.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Thu 14-Feb-13 10:16:24

CP since DD2 is still talking mostly in a made up language I am not sure what to answer, kika is broken for example hmm (I don't think she is doing it intentionally though if it is what you mean)

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Thu 14-Feb-13 18:42:38

DD2's teacher has been attacked by wild dogs shock she is OK (ish), but terrified of any dogs (she has one at home!), couldn't walked for a week and is still on rabie's shots...
I am scared sometime when I walk

ClimbingPenguin Thu 14-Feb-13 19:15:02

shock poor thing

I was attacked as a child but have mostly overcome my fear. Dog was put down and it's mostly only German Shepard's that make me really wary now.

the use of made up words is a new thing. I assume it's just a phase but she's getting more insistent in their use.

SocietyClowns Thu 14-Feb-13 20:19:28

I ran down the lawn at my uncle's when I was less than 2 and his German Shepard thought it was a game, jumped up, put his paws on my shoulders and pulled me back, then stood over me. I have no memory of this but am cautious around dogs.
Now wild dogs are a completely different ball game. Hope she is okay mous! Is it a big problem where you are? Are daylight hours reasonably safe?

ClimbingPenguin Thu 14-Feb-13 20:29:49

this dog was half wild, was very badly treating by owners and was encouraged to be violent etc. It escaped one day and came into the park I was playing in. when parents let children play in the park with no adults

<gets back to work>... kinda grin

how's your work going soc?

SocietyClowns Thu 14-Feb-13 20:37:34

CP going really well actually. Great boss, great team and just had my contract extended by another year smile.

ClimbingPenguin Thu 14-Feb-13 20:44:03

excellent smile

we now have anti histamines for DS, went for the drowsy option blush In my defence we have been back up to three hourly wakings, which I think is mostly itching based.

stoofadoof Thu 14-Feb-13 21:07:40

< quick wave > and my two-penneth IC fwiw on nursery (also another vote for the book mous mentions…) DD has always been anxious, and very slow to adapt comfortably to new situations… she was in (an excellent) nursery a few days a week from 6 months as i returned to work, but every time there was a staff change in the room, or she moved up to the next room there was a blip - a few weeks of discomfort, grumpiness, tears, poor pooing, the works - but she generally loved being there (and i honestly don't think that's mothers guillt!) When we moved to NZ, we tried her in a nursery there - but it was a VERY different set up - it just IS in NZ - there was lots of free-play, different child/worker ratios, nowhere near as much structure or routine as she was used to. I knew within a couple of days that it just wasn't right for her, and she didn't go back… when we got home again, she went back to her old nursery and she blossomed again, increased confidence etc…

as she's got older (she was 6 in november) she is still anxious and slow to feel comfortable, she still gets grumpy, and gets a sore tummy from not pooing… but we now get headaches and hideous, hideous teeth-grinding too grin oh and disrupted sleep… BUT it's much easier to reason with her, and to help her develop coping mechanisms and ways of handling things… i guess as time's gone on we've felt our way through and learnt from experience (I also see an awful lot of my childhood self in her, including the speedy temper!)

anyway, i think what I'm trying to say maybe in amongst all that waffle is - it gets easier, I think you'll know your DD and what's right but I would deffo seek out another nursery/pre-school setting for her…

when it came to choosing a school for her, the two options were the village school - really holistic approach, child centred, excellent ofsted, held up as national example of first rate small school or the next village along - still a good school but without the 'outstanding' accolades… we put her in the next village along because it felt immediately much more 'her' … fx we were right… she settled quickly and happily, but we still got a blip (lasted about 6 wks!) when she went into yr 1 (lesson learnt for this summer is to have a quiet week at home starting to get more schooly again before the new year starts!)

anyway.. that was supposed just to be a quick wave.. sorry!!

stoofadoof Thu 14-Feb-13 21:09:43

and hey everyone else!

rainbowweaver Fri 15-Feb-13 02:55:39

Hey back to you stoof

No made up words here,though DDs taken to naming her soft toys with names such as hm, op, oops the bear etc. and now likes pretending to be a baby from time to time. The baby acting seemed to come up after she turned 3, so may have been a reaction against being a big girl in nursery smile. Only at home and once satisfied goes back to being a big girl again.

stoof that's really interesting to hear - thanks! DH and I are continuing to mentally acclimatise DD to nursery by various means and we'll see what next week brings. Yes to the need for more structure - DD is inclined to be a bit obsessive about routine so the free form Montessori approach may not be the ideal for her, whereas the other pre-school we looked at is far more structured.

That said, we'll see how it goes this week. DD has been a lot more bolshy these last couple of days - she definitely needs somewhere to impose a bit of discipline (apart from us - we do our best!) so if it doesn't work out at the Montessori, I'll most definitely be sending her elsewhere. Meanwhile, I've arranged to talk to my play therapist friend this weekend about the best thing to do to help DD find coping strategies for her anxieties.....

CP yay for anti-histamines! I was hugely relieved when our GP gave DS some when his eczema was acting up - they really helped get us through the next few nights until the hc cream had it under control again.

SC hoorah that your job values you - as well they should!

ClimbingPenguin Fri 15-Feb-13 20:38:05

he has been on the hc for a month, had a two day break and is now back on it. This GP seems unconcerned about length of time but I would rather get it under control and have hc-free days. DH is tasked with sorting out the referral.

We find he is really itchy even when his skin is almost alright. That part doesn't seem to go away that often.

Ah CP, my sympathy - now I've had some experience of it myself! The atopic patch on DS' forehead clears after a few days of hc, is clear for a few days more then starts to make a come back, so off we go again. Dreary.

ClimbingPenguin Sun 17-Feb-13 15:38:50

I still can't get over how quickly we get through toilet paper now DD is potty trained.

SocietyClowns Sun 17-Feb-13 19:02:02

Try having two.. My parents think we eat the stuff whenever we visit grin.

StoneBaby Mon 18-Feb-13 08:35:56

So instead of going back to pre-school and me to work we're home as DS woke up with 39.5C fever. As it's his 4th day with tenperature, I've booked a GP appointment. The journey home was fun (not) with him been unwell - the journey lasted 12 hours between the car and ferries shock

Waves to all

ClimbingPenguin Mon 18-Feb-13 09:17:53

I'm waiting a call back from the GP for DS. He won't stay awake. He is easily woken but goes straight back off. He is drinking water and breastmilk and no fever, but also runny poo's. DH showered him at 5:30 this morning and he fell asleep three times in the process.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Mon 18-Feb-13 09:43:00

SB and CP hope it is nothing.

StoneBaby Mon 18-Feb-13 10:57:13

CP I hope it's nothing major and that the gp can see you asap

DS has got nothing it's just a virus. It's actually difficult to explain to the doc that he's unwell as he's bubbly, alert and eat. Also as I gave him some ibuprofen at 7am the temp was gone.

ClimbingPenguin Mon 18-Feb-13 12:01:40

he is hydrated despite the amount of water he has been having (which is double normal). He is on the Dioralyte sachets and she wants to see him this evening to check he is getting hydrated as he has done wees today.

ClimbingPenguin Mon 18-Feb-13 12:02:02

he is de-hyrated obviously

StoneBaby Mon 18-Feb-13 12:22:21

The poir little thing. Fx he'll improve.

StoneBaby Mon 18-Feb-13 12:22:44

Sorry poor

ClimbingPenguin Mon 18-Feb-13 12:47:26

thanks and meant to "has done no wees today"

how is your DS?

StoneBaby Mon 18-Feb-13 14:18:30

He's okay but yiu can see that he's tired. Plus when the ibuprofen or paracetamol wear off he becomes clingy unwell again.

How is your DS doing?

Bearcrumble Mon 18-Feb-13 18:07:07

Hope they both get well soon.

StoneBaby Mon 18-Feb-13 18:21:15

DS has gone to bed at 5.45pm after eating a slice of bread with philadelphia sad It's so unlike him... I just hope he gets over this bug quickly.

CP what did the GP said this afternoon?

Ah, sorry to hear about the poorly LOs CP and SB.... how are they doing now?

Big turnaround with DD. I think our amateur play therapy is having the desired effect. She wanted to go to nursery today (I gave her the choice) and once there, had a great time and was in no hurry to come home today and is looking forward to tomorrow. Huge relief!

Also...I think we've finally turned a corner with the withholding (which I've also been including in the play "therapy"). The last three days have seen her much more relaxed doing her Number Twos and the change in her general demeanour is incredible - it's like she's gained in confidence about her ability to deal with anything now she's stopped being so scared of doing a poo. Talk about a change from the snivelling wreck who wouldn't get off the sofa last week!! I can't tell you how relieved I feel. Okay, there's bound to be some backsliding, but this finally feels like a breakthrough. DD even took an interest in using the toilet again today, first time in a while. It's all good smile

StoneBaby Mon 18-Feb-13 20:38:52

IC yepee!!!

NK2b1f2 Mon 18-Feb-13 20:53:23

IC great news! smile

StoneBaby Mon 18-Feb-13 21:00:32

NK is that you SC?

NK2b1f2 Mon 18-Feb-13 21:21:43

Sorry,yes. grin
Dd2 went to bed very excited because tomorrow is a nursery day... wink I love her enthusiasm!

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Mon 18-Feb-13 22:21:38

Trying this on my phone.
Great news IC on both counts. Long may it all continue.
SB hope ds is well soon. I hate it when they are poorly.
CP what was the outcome this evening? Hope ds is okay. It sounds scary. Big hugs to you all.
Seeing the nurse tomorrow at 8.15 re my asthma.
DS1 and 2 enjoying their new trampoline in the sun today. Joint present for them both from several relatives.

ClimbingPenguin Mon 18-Feb-13 22:26:39

I posted on fb but he is much better.

still got runny poos so we need to be careful, but just so good to see him interacting again. Been a bit emotional afterwards and it wasn't that bad or for that long in the grand scheme of things. I think GP was close to sending us to the hospital this morning. Fever's are one thing, when they are just laying there not moving or crying is another.

ClimbingPenguin Mon 18-Feb-13 22:27:26

It has been so nice to have the sunny weather. This will be the first summer with a proper garden and I think I will love it. Might even get to make dinner in peace.

StoneBaby Tue 19-Feb-13 10:35:54

DS woke up fine this morning, he was starving tho. So back to pre-school for him and work for me grin

NK2b1f2 Tue 19-Feb-13 15:59:24

Dd2 woke at just past 5 this morning after a bad dream and it took me ages to calm her down. She said she did not want to go back to her old nursery! sad Just when I was getting over my guilt to leave her there two months longer than I would have liked...
She had another lovely day in her new nursery today and came out smiling. She says she's had a very tiring day grin. So have I... I never went back to sleep this morning because I knew my alarm would go off any minute... hmm

NK2b1f2 Tue 19-Feb-13 16:02:49

She just said she made a new friend today 'someone with a difficult name' grin. It's a wonderfully diverse nursery with children from lots of different places, so I can't possibly guess who she means...

ScienceRocks Tue 19-Feb-13 21:51:42

Glad everyone seems better. Stoof, your phone call sounds terrifying, hope you are all ok and have had lots of cuddles this evening.

DD2 is going to the holiday playscheme for the first time tomorrow with DD1. She's super-excited, which bodes well for pre-school in September as it is in the same place. Much like NK, I hope grin

ClimbingPenguin Wed 20-Feb-13 10:26:24

all my plans have fallen though today so stuck being miserable and indecisive. DS is better still, but that just means he has enough energy to cry so therefore has been doing lots of it.

ScienceRocks Wed 20-Feb-13 10:47:51

Aw CP, those days are tough. Is there a play group you can go to? Or is the weather good enough for a walk or a park trip? If all else fails, can you just pop out for a coffee or a bite to eat? I find that simply getting out (somewhere, anywhere) makes those days a little more bearable and a little less long brew

ClimbingPenguin Wed 20-Feb-13 11:00:55

I'm going out to the country park this afternoon so lazing around until lunch and letting them watch some telly.

ClimbingPenguin Wed 20-Feb-13 21:03:46

managed to only use 30 mins of telly

finally (as we moved here in Oct) using the back paths we walked to the country park. I was pleasantly surprised to (i) find it and (ii) it only took 25 mins. Despite the lack of walking lately DD the past two days has done two 90 min walks, so that was nice. Now it is lighter in the afternoons/evenings we should be able to go there more often, especially as we passed horses and ponies on the way. After DD grows out her puddlesuit we are switching to waterproof trousers. Wee's are a right old faff.

DS actually walked around after dinner, climbed the stairs etc. Yesterday he was quite wobbly so think he is almost there. Still keeps getting blue lipped quickly, but he also ate at each meal today smile

<ignores lack of run today> DH is working from home tomorrow so I'm going to a Ladies badminton session in the morning while he takes them to tumbletots. Will try and do my run after that.

SconesForTea Thu 21-Feb-13 09:53:36

Aw hugs CP it sounds as if you are coping really well. I am soooo impressed at only 30mins TV. Great that DS is so much better. And hurrah for park, horses and ponies.

All go here as I have given myself far too much to do prior to DD1's parties on Sat.

SconesForTea Thu 21-Feb-13 09:54:23

No fancy cakes here mind, plain chocolate for her!

ClimbingPenguin Thu 21-Feb-13 19:38:44

We don't do fancy cakes, but then again I can barely bake a cake.

I was going to have a little get together but am not bothering now as most of the people I wanted to come, can't.

Did my run and badminton today, although I am still only running 2 miles. Trying to be really sustainable about it. I know I can more so don't need to prove anything and still have work with my physio to do (both PF and knees). Especially as there is always something to stop you doing it 1 week in 3.

DS was practically normal today smile

How is everyone?

Great to hear your DS is back on form, CP!
90 min walk? Wow. We're chuffed if DD walks for 30 mins (and that's unusual...)

ClimbingPenguin Thu 21-Feb-13 20:15:28

well the same here normally IC (I have told her that poo's like it when we do lots of walking, drinking water and eating vegetables as according Dr Ranj)

SconesForTea Fri 22-Feb-13 08:00:57

I know I should encourage DD1 to walk more. The trouble is I am usually walking for a good 30 mins each way at mypace. It would take forever for her (maybe 90 mins .... CP I just don't know how you have the patience!).

Her bday today, my mum is coming lunchtime thankfully, all hands to the party prep pump.

ClimbingPenguin Fri 22-Feb-13 08:48:12

both of those scones were walks for the sake of walks. If I have somewhere to be that takes 30 mins then I would put her in the buggy.

Happy birthday to your DD1 smile

StoneBaby Fri 22-Feb-13 13:30:22

DS is happy to walk and would do for 45mn without whinging but he refuses to do so if there's strong winds (which over here occur on a daily regular basis especially in the winter). We have put both pushchairs away about 6 months ago!

Ah, DD hates the wind too - but it doesn't have to be strong. Good job we don't live on an island, SB!

NK2b1f2 Fri 22-Feb-13 20:04:40

Felt quite touched by the sibling bond between dd1 and dd2 today. dd1 told me she looked for dd2 at lunchtime today before remembering that she is not in nursery on Fridays. And at home dd2 tried to get me to pretend I was dd1 and play with her... Awwww smile. On the other hand dd1 has been upset this week because I think she feels a bit upstaged by her baby sister. Last night she told me she wanted to play with dd2 in after school care (less than an hour until dh picked both up) but dd2 was playing with her new friend (the one with the difficult name wink) and didn't want to play with dd1...She was trying to be all big sisterly and dd2 didn't want to know! sad

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Fri 22-Feb-13 21:04:20

Bless them NK!! My two have been playing together well this week (alhtough I keep finding them climbing on/over the furniture which is getting a bit frustrating as I'm still a bit nervy about falls after DS1's incidents).

CP I'm so glad to hear DS is well on the mend now - it sounded horrid. I'm very impressed with the exercise - I haven't been for over a month since my breathing became bad. I've had blood tests (all clear), ECG (fine, although DS2 did unplug the woman's computer while I was lying on the couch out of commission - it's okay though as DS1 poked him in the eye as a telling off hmm!!) I had a chest x-ray yesterday too and will wait for the results. I suspect it may be allergy-related (and really, it seems to fit that I'd have an allergy in my household!), as I was told to take anti-histimine for a week and think it is helping. I have been doing a bit of dancing on the Wii to try and remove a little of the extra padding I've been gaining!

Had two cringeworthy moments (one funny and one not at all) with the boys in hospitals this week, which I wish to share, just for your amusement on a Friday night:
1. I had to take them both with me for my chest x-ray - I really have used up all good will with the childcare now! I obviously couldn't take them into the x-ray room so had rung in advance to check that, if I strapped them into the double buggy, someone would make sure they weren't kidnapped in the 90 seconds it would take to have the actual x-ray. I hadn't remembered that I'd have to don one of their very sexy gowns, in lieu of my top half of clothing, and try and do it up at the back on my own, whilst standing on one leg, due to lack of space, in a tiny changing room with the buggy taking up 99.9% of the space. At this point, DS1 announces loudly to the rest of the people awaiting x-ray on the other side of the cubicle, "Mummy, I think your boobies look funny when you are not wearing your booby catcher!" So I might have 'lost' a few ribs post-breast feeding, but really, did he need to share it with everyone?!! He also went on to tell everyone that he wanted the male nurse who waited with them as his daddy, as that man talked to them and his daddy never does (which is the greatest load of bollocks ever!!)
2. Before going to the burns unit today for treatment on DS1's head wound, I talked to both boys about not making comments about any burns they might see as it would make people feel sad. I nearly got away with it. Unfortunately, just as we were leaving, a lad of about 8 came in with terrible facial burns and burns to his arms. DS2 then said very loudly, "Mummy, what's all over that boy's face?" I was really embarrassed and sad for the little boy as it must happen all the time. I answered factually and whisked him away quickly. I explained again afterwards and he was sad. I know that children are inquisitive, but I hoped I'd got him to understand beforehand. In fairness, it was quite extreme and he just forgot. I think I dealt with it well, but just wish I hadn't had to.

I'm interested to read about your DC walking. DS2 has real trouble with it due to his hypermobile joints. After about 5 minutes, he cries and limps. If I try adn distract him or encourage him to carry o, he just lies down on the pavement. As this happens even when he's having fun, the consultant at our appointment for it the other week has suggested that we still need to use the buggy, rather than to be mean and try and force him. The boys now have a trampoline and this should help to strengthen his muscles, along with lots of cycling and swimming. Having the condition myself, I'm glad we've got it diagnosed when he is young and can be more understanding than my mother was with me (but tha's not saying much!!) He falls incessantly too and that worries us. DS1 has always walked and run for miles (mainly as I was pregnant with DS2 so soon that I couldn't carry him) so it is odd having a non-walker.

I'm aware this is becoming long again. I'm at the end of half term and was hoping for a relaxing week. We've had a lot of fun but it's been full of medical crap again. The chest stuff came out of nowhere so I wasn't prepared for it. I'm very tired afer writing my response to the letter back from the hosptial about DS1's head treatment and crave a bit of normality. I thought at lunchtime that we'd have a week next week without a hospital appointment. At 2pm, I had a call to say the gastro paediatrician wants to see DS2 on Tuesday!! Doh! Despite that, it's been so nice to see the boys playing together, like NK mentioned and I got to snuggle my friend's newborn on Tuesday. Off for a pep up with some dancing on the Wii (DH is out so I can give it some without embarrassing myself!)

Have a lovely weekend all. Hope the party is good Scones. CP if you want a vegan cake recipe that works, PM me on facebook and I'll write it out for you.

NK2b1f2 Fri 22-Feb-13 21:41:05

Survival I think you got away lightly taking your two along! grin Luckily both of mine are quite shy, so would only whisper comments to me and I would then answer quietly in German...
Talking of allergies, when my asthma got really bad my GP put me on tablets to take at night (can't for the life of me remember the name now) and it has made a big difference.

IC How has dd been with nursery this week? I hope she has enjoyed her time. And SR how did your dd2 enjoy her trial/holiday day?
dd2 has had a lovely week but very tiring. I think pre school is a lot more mentally stimulating than nursery and she has been shattered in the evenings. But she's still as keen as she was at the start and appears to have settled really well. This morning she woke at just after 6 and spent twenty minutes telling me in some detail what she had done yesterday (She was asleep already when I got home from a meeting). She is talking quite well now but does get frustrated when she can't think of the right word. This morning she told me that in after school care she put a banana on a stick and covered it in chocolate and then put stuff on it... she came up with 'stars' when she meant sprinkles grin. I thought it was quite sweet for her to try and describe what she means in words she knows. (I also liked her expression that her cereal had 'melted' - gone soggy- and she no longer liked it...).

Walking... dd2 is capable of walking long distances but she is slow and I rarely have the time blush especially if it is freezing cold like today and the wind is biting. Once it gets a little friendlier outside we'll walk a lot more. But we also have the problem of her falling a lot, not because of hypermobility but because she comes after me sad (I am terribly clumsy and always covered in bruises). I wonder if I am too careful with her but I know if I let her race around the park it won't be long before she falls over thin air and hurts herself, again.

Oh and finally before I forget. I had a follow up appt for my ear today and realised last night that I seem to be able to hear more again (I did some very serious yawning in the car this week which seemed to help!). Typical, isn't it. Still went to the GP and he was quite encouraged and does not think there will be permanent hearing loss. Been asked to report back by Easter and if there is still a problem he'll think of something else to do.

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Fri 22-Feb-13 21:59:26

NK great news about your hearing. I hope it continues to go from strength to strength - more yawning required obviously smile. DD2 sounds very cute, as opposed to my completely manic duo! Swap?

NK2b1f2 Fri 22-Feb-13 22:52:20

Survival grin I think dh would have a heart attack! He thinks our two quiet tidy slightly nerdy two are normal... We had friends round with a few boys and they turned the house upside down within 30 seconds, not in a nasty way, just exploring grin. Dh was quite pale when they left grin

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 23-Feb-13 06:23:36

Good to hear about the hearing NK

Sotu He is too young to have remembered your instructions, kids ask questions it is normal, don't feel bad about something you can't control.

All the girls in my house are coughing! (DH is still snoring hmm)
We are having some problem with DD2's guts. Thought it was better since we banned citruses and kiwis but there is something else at kindergarden. The symptoms are similar to IBS (or my intolerance to soy)... She had a tests for parasites but I think it is food related.

DD2 walks well and fast, I barely slow down for her, and when she gets tired I make her skip or run <mean>. But then she is tall and strong, it makes a lot of difference if I compare her to her "little" friends normal 3 yo.

Speech is coming on, she is still behind, uses romanian grammar when speaking the others languages hmm, and is doing very well in all the other domains. It is hard not to think she is behind in everything due to her speech and compared to DD1 at the same age, I just didn't realised how much ahead was DD1 compared to her peers at the time.
School doesn't want me to see a psy anymore for her. Her teacher is very happy even if the head teacher still think she is violent and has behavioural problems confused. I have heard a conversation I wasn't supposed to with DD2 being defended by her teacher (which match my observations at home, so I am going to ignore the HT).

NK2b1f2 Sat 23-Feb-13 08:13:02

Nous Brilliant to hear you dd2 is catching up well :-) and ignore the HT!!

Dd2 is having a well deserved lie in envy. Wish dd1 would get weekends... Yawn.

ClimbingPenguin Sat 23-Feb-13 08:32:02

What a night. DD is slightly ill and feverish which always messes up sleep and DS is still on a feed-a-thon after his illness. I didn't get to sleep proper until 3 am.

mous really glad your concerns with DD2 are slowly easing

I haven't done any letters etc with DD as I am not confident regarding the correct phonic pronunciations. Plus we normally do physical stuff rather than sitting down stuff (with their age gap and DS being the age he is). I want to leave that until school and let them deal with it. My sister could read before school but she soon settled to her natural lever (her brother is 13 months older and she did his homework with him when he is was in reception). She does recognise all the numbers up to 10 except for 9. It was nice when making a cake asking her to find me the cup with the number 3 on etc. She is asking after letters so I think I need to watch some alphablocks.

Everytime DD gets a cold/ill her ears now hurt. This time before any fever or other symptoms she was complaining of sore ears. Is this to be expected or you think I should run it by the GP (I've seen enough of them lately).

survival hope your chest starts clearing up. I have to admit I went climbing and other stuff when I was still breathless as I was just fed of up of not doing stuff.

nk the children did sleep in a bit today and we all got up at 7:45. I now need to get ready for tutoring followed by swimming.

Having seen DD suddenly do a long walk, I would say don't push the walking (which I had been trying to do then circumstances meant I didn't for ages).

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 23-Feb-13 08:55:57

CP Is she just saying "it hurts" or is she crying? DD2 had an ear infection last week and was unconsolable until the Nurofen acted (paracetamol not strong enough). Now she is saying "bobo ear" which I completely ignore.
If it lasts more than a few days of complaining I would get her checked.

NK2b1f2 Sat 23-Feb-13 09:05:41

Dd2 gets a lot of ear ache and it seems to come and go. When I went for my ear yesterday I mentioned it to the GP and he had a quick look. It looked okay so I'm just keeping an eye on it myself. I was also going to mention to him that she has a slight lisp but managed to stop myself just in time. The GP I saw has a lisp blush grin so it felt wrong to bring it up!?

ClimbingPenguin Sat 23-Feb-13 11:05:13

She kinda wimpers, it lasts a few days each time. The first time I think she did have a mild ear infection as that ear was running a fair bit hotter. Now it seems she suffers a bit each time she gets a cold.

Ah, sorry to hear about the dodgy ears CP - your poor old DD....

Mous great news on the speech! Your HT is a bit hmm by the sounds of it....I think you're right to just go by your own instincts on the matter...

Survival ahahaha at the changing room comments! And oops, bit mortifying about the lad's burns. But very tough to avoid that sort of thing with outspoken toddlers. Sounds like you took every precaution, it was just bad luck.

Lovely to hear how well your DD2 is doing at pre-school, NK!

DD had a great week at nursery, thankfully. Bringing her bubble wand in has helped break the ice with other children and now she's definitely starting to interact with various individuals in a positive way, so that's great progress. When I arrived yesterday, she'd just matter-of-factly informed one of the staff that she'd had enough and wanted to go home to play now - good timing! She wasn't upset, just firm about it. And she's been very positive when telling us about things she's done at nursery. I think it's helped that she's doing a poo most days at lunchtime, so is energised and cheerful by the time we leave for nursery....
The nursery does a journal for each child where members of staff make a few comments every session based on what they've observed the child doing. Parents can take them home at any time to read - it was lovely, actually. A really nice touch.
Roll on next week.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 23-Feb-13 15:34:21

Great news IC.

I don't think DD2 is violent at all. She is strong though so any disagreement with anybody her age will look like she is bullying even if she just stand her ground. I have seen mums accusing her of pushing in the park (right under my nose) while she was just standing there and the kid just ran into her and bounced off shock.
Her sister was teaching her karate, and we have put a stop to that I can't imagine the troubles she would get in if she starts doing kicks and punches shock.
She is not verbal enough to argue back or defend herself either.

Her tantrums are mostly about miscommunication. She had a meltdown at school (which she won) because she had to stick a monster together. No amount of cajoling from her teacher managed to make her changed her mind so her monster was pink everything on a pink paper. She obviously had a reason. She showed it to me and I said it was a pity we can't see it it is pink on pink. Nodded... after a long discussion with 3 languages and half words, I managed to understand that the monster was hiding. She was told to do a scary monster and monsters are only scary when hiding or something like that... Which her teacher thought was clever! but god it took us a huge amount of time to figure out what it was!
In my school when I was a kid they would have put me in a corner for naughty behaviour and told me I was stupid hmm. Glad we are not in France!

ClimbingPenguin Sat 23-Feb-13 15:50:26

That's impressive mous you must have felt very proud of her in that moment

NK2b1f2 Sat 23-Feb-13 16:15:59

'Mous' I love your dd2's monster!!! And glad her teacher gets her... smile

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 23-Feb-13 16:35:31

Actually, I am more proud of her teacher not completely dismissing her and wanting to get to the bottom of it blush.
Reading my post again it sounds like I think DD2 can do no wrong though! I do not! I am sure she can fight but she is not violent! I talk to her teacher everyday and she would tell me. She mostly say she is good and caring. She shares her comforter with and stroke children who cries... Hardly violent! She does have arguments, she is not passive, but ... <cough, I think you already know that she is not the type to sit in a corner doing nothing>

Or may be I am completely blinded by her cuteness and her being my baby... <who knows?>

StoneBaby Sat 23-Feb-13 17:53:53

mous I think you are right when saying her hight may mean other parents (or HT) see her more violent than she is. I would not say that my DS is violent but he is rough in his actions (even a cuddle seems to be a tackle). If she was a violent child she would be the same at home. Great news that her teacher understands her.

DS has been dry 2 mornings in a row and as a result of us making a big fuss about it, he told me after his bath that he'll not be wearing a nappy to sleep confused. I think he needs more dry nights before I agree!!!??

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 23-Feb-13 18:01:14

Oh! yes SB! we said a week of dry nappies for DD2. She was refusing to get a nappy on last week! wet yesterday dry this morning...
wait and see <I am the one dealing with anything wet in the night, believe me you need more than that, DD2 had weeks of being dry seen 2 yo>

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 23-Feb-13 18:01:49

still not 100 % reliable a night a year after

NK2b1f2 Sat 23-Feb-13 18:29:09

dd2 is either totally dry in the morning or sopping wet hmm. No intention to do away with night time nappy yet!

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 23-Feb-13 18:30:23

seen hmm since <??? WTF?>

StoneBaby Sat 23-Feb-13 19:33:09

Oh don't worry, I'm not in a rush to give the night nappies yet (I'll be dealing with the wetness in the night morning too).

My issue is the argument with DS about it!! shock I finally managed to convince him to wear one tonight after a 10mn conversation!!! <where is the boy who was not able to put 2 words together... blush>

StoneBaby Sun 24-Feb-13 07:15:28

Glad he wore a nappy last night as it was wet this morning... Maman knows best smile

NK2b1f2 Sun 24-Feb-13 22:52:38

Completely random question.. Do you use moisturiser of some sort on your LO after a bath, generally, on face in cold weather, in nappy area, not at all? I'm not normally using any creams at all on mine except Sudocrem on bottoms if necessary and sun block in the summer (hollow laugh... If we have a summer). Dd2 has a touch of what looks like exzema on her face (cold weather related) and behind her knees and I am slightly at a loss how to treat it.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Mon 25-Feb-13 05:53:39

I use vaseline for winter shafts. If not strong enough "8h cream" instead.
DD2 doesn't need cream but I have to lather DD1 entirely everyday with Ictyane cream to keep her eczema at bay. (Aveeno cream is good also but not strong enough for DD1)
When DD2 was a baby I used Sanosan sensitive oil. It was good too.
I did use a lot of olive oil too wink for everything...

ClimbingPenguin Mon 25-Feb-13 08:18:21

I put diprobase on DDs cheeks before we head out. I'd probably try vaseline instead. DS has his normal eczema creams. Bath bit of baby or olive oil, no bubbles.

NK2b1f2 Mon 25-Feb-13 10:53:39

Just remembered that I bought some special wind and weather cream for dd2.... Pretty useless though if I forget to put it in blush.

NK2b1f2 Mon 25-Feb-13 10:54:38


Bearcrumble Mon 25-Feb-13 12:34:51

DS at nursery and baby asleep. Just doing myself a bacon sarnie. Hope she doesn't wake.

Bearcrumble Mon 25-Feb-13 13:14:41

Just catching up on Friday and the weekend's posts as haven't been able to log on.

DS also hates the wind - he will shout "GO WAY WIND" at it. Then shouts at me for laughing at him. He never uses a buggy now - except for briefly if we are going for full days out into town etc. - what I do is put the baby in the mclaren and hang the ergo over the handle then when DS is a bit tired after lunch I'll put him in the buggy and her in the carrier for an hour and that's all he needs.

NK So glad your DDs are enjoying nursery, I'm sure there will always be issues between siblings but it sounds like they have a really lovely relationship. Good news on the hearing.

Survival Kids just do that thing - the blurting, it doesn't mean they are bad or didn't listen to you, just that their impulses get the better of them. I think you did the right thing doing what you could to prepare them for what they might see. That poor lad. Hopefully they can improve the way he looks a lot - plastic surgery for scars and burns is amazing these days.

When I was at primary school there was a girl in my class with very bad facial disfigurement - we were all a bit 'uhhh' and I remember asking her a stupid question when we started but very soon no one ever commented and I don't think anyone really thought about her face. I'm sure that boy's friends will be the same. She travelled the world and is now married with a lovely little boy so obv it didn't hold her back. They improved how she looked a lot as well.

Mous Glad to hear about the talking. I'm sure it is connected to the number of languages she's exposed to.

IC Lovely to hear that DD is enjoying nursery. Thanks for reminder about the written record. I have been meaning to have a read of DS's (you have to request it in writing though so I've always been a bit nervous to ask in case they think I think they are doing something wrong). Will ask manager when I collect him today. They call it their 'learning journey' and it's full of photos etc. I had a quick look back when they did parents' evening.

DS is dry at night (had one accident last week though) - we said if he woke up dry for a week we'd try without, he did, so we did and he wet the bed so he went back into nappies for a week, we took them off he did exactly the same thing but the third time he stayed dry without nappies and has been for about a month or two with only about 3 accidents.

We use a bit of Aveeno on his face if it seems wind-burnt. Don't moisturise him other than that. Would recommend Aveeno for your DD, NK

Had inlaws this weekend. Yesterday waiting for them to arrive (they stay at cousins' nearby as we don't have a spare room) they didn't come until after 11! We were sat in all morning for them. Had been up since before 7 of course. Other than that, nice visit. We went to Downe House (Darwin's old home in Kent - just half an hour's drive) and DS told me Darwin has a beard like Santa Claus.

DS, just in the past two weeks has really started taking an interest in letters. Can name about half of them and knows what some of the noises mean. Knows that double 'O' makes an oooo sound. He pointed to the swimming pool sign and asked if 'pool' said 'zoo' - because he reads Dear Zoo a lot, I guess, and knows what the word looks like. He is starting to attempt to count from 1 - 20 but he gets his teens all mixed up.

His favourite programme at the moment (apart from How It's Made which is always his number 1) is Nina and the Neurons go engineering.

I think, if he carries on with the same sort of interests he has now he will be some sort of scientist or engineer.

Bearcrumble Mon 25-Feb-13 13:17:27

DD's sleep has gone awful again for the last 2 nights. Again wants to feed constantly and won't sleep long periods at all, barely spends any time in cot.

Only benefit is that she seems to nap better when we have bad nights so I can come here and catch up with you lot!

She has been asleep over an hour now. Hurrah!

ClimbingPenguin Mon 25-Feb-13 13:19:46

Glad you are getting the rest BC for however long it may last.

DD slept through last night and DS only woke twice. DD is sleeping through a few times a week now, which is very nice.

Bleh to the crappy sleep, Bc! Very impressed at the dry nights, though - god, that seems such a long way away for us. The withholding continues and there really is no point to another PT attempt until she's cracked that.... <sigh>

Another vote for Aveeno NK, it's really nice stuff - makes skin lovely and soft and smells nice too.
That said, I have a big, hardly-used pot of Diprobase which didn't have any effect on DS' eczema - anyone want it? NK? CP? I could stick it in the post, seems a shame to just chuck it away if someone could make use of it....

DD was sick yesterday after being quiet and under the weather all afternoon. She brightened up a bit afterward, but was a bit wakeful overnight (although not distressed - it may have been hunger keeping her awake because of lack of appetite/upchucking what she had eaten) and her appetite hasn't entirely returned yet. So no toddler group or nursery today. She seems reasonably chipper, though - so here's hoping it was just a bit of a tummy upset rather than anything worse....

That said, we went to a gig with DD and DS yesterday afternoon (before she was sick!) put on by a couple of local musicians and aimed at families - it was great and both LOs were impeccably behaved (DD probably because she was feeling a bit poorly...she was unusually docile, but didn't want to go home...) It was ace to go to something like that! DS was great - slept through the first half, watched and listened with interest during the second, didn't require me to walk him round or anything, which meant I got to see the whole thing, yay!

ScienceRocks Mon 25-Feb-13 15:30:10

survival your story of your hospital trip made me grin My two girls would be much the same - they are not shy at all! Is your chest better?

CP I am amazed at how far your DD can walk. Mine are both pretty good (DD1 can literally do miles and I ditched the pushchair a long time ago with DD2, just because I find it a faff). surivival I do notice that DD2's hypermobility makes her clumsier than most kids her age, but gymnastics has been fantastic for her. Oh, and CP if you PM or FB message me your email address, I can send you a sheet that has correct phonic pronunciations that DD1's school gave me when she started reception.

mous glad your DD2's language is coming along. Ignore the head teacher. I think the tall kids often geta rough deal, with adults forgetting their age because of their appearance (this happens a lot with my nephew, who has always been really tall for his age).

NK glad your hearing is slowly returning to normal.

IC glad your DD is doing better at nursery. How is she today?

stone how are you feeling about nappy free nights? DD2 has been nappy free at night since summer blush She was early doing it though.

bear sorry that your nights have gone to pot but at least you get daytime napping.

DD2's day at holiday club was a great success, the staff absolutely adored her smile It bodes well for her starting there in September for her pre-school year. We do a calendar with her every day, which has been great for her number recognition - today she picked out 25 even though we hadn't done the calendar since Thursday (because of being away) and it wasn't just the next number.

Both DDs had a great time with their GPs and DH and I enjoyed our little break.

Someone asked about moisturiser. Both DDs have it after their bath as they have inherited my dry skin sad. DD1 slathers herself in body butter and DD2 has Epaderm on her face, arms and legs. It stops her eczema flaring.

NK2b1f2 Mon 25-Feb-13 15:53:31

Thanks for all the ideas for dd2's dry skin. Now I just need to actually remember to put something on her face...

IC Hope your dd feels better today. How is ds doing with trying real food? I hope he will try absolutely everything you put in front of him and dd feels inspired to become more adventurous watching him munch away smile

StoneBaby Mon 25-Feb-13 17:26:32

SR I'm fine about DS going nappy free at night but I know the dry mornings are more accidental than on purpose

I use aveeno too with DS.

Screaming kid, need to go

NK2b1f2 Mon 25-Feb-13 17:36:39

I've never come across aveeno. Just checked online though and wonder if there's one for children or do you all just use the standard one?

StoneBaby Mon 25-Feb-13 17:41:35

I use the standard one.

ScienceRocks Mon 25-Feb-13 18:01:02

There isn't one for children specifically. Many people say it's wonderful, but it doesn't work for me and my girls. Funny that different emollients suit different people...

NK2b1f2 Mon 25-Feb-13 18:51:06

SR I know, it's difficult not to spend a lot of money on things that turn out to be the wrong thing... I'll have a look at aveeno next time I am shopping smile but I guess my main problem is that I forget to use it.

Just told dd2 that tomorrow is a nursery day and got an excited 'Yeah!'. Still getting used to enthusiams rather than howling!

NK2b1f2 Mon 25-Feb-13 18:51:46

'enthusiasm' My hands refuse to type what my brain thinks! confused

Bearcrumble Mon 25-Feb-13 19:38:38

I put DS's name down for an extra session at nursery and one came up quicker than I thought it would. From next week he'll be doing mon pm, weds pm and all day Fri. (all day is 9am til 3pm and half days are midday til 3). Seeing as he spends all Thurs with my mum do you think it is too much time apart? I am a much nicer mummy on the days he goes to nursery for 3 hours - more patient and give him more attention as I know we'll have the break. He does really like it there plus as baby gets older my mum can have her for part of Thurs so we can have time alone. We also have me and him alone time for 45 mins before bed as dh has dd downstairs while we chat and have stories.

ClimbingPenguin Mon 25-Feb-13 19:40:05

do you think it is too much time apart?


Also nope Bc smile

DH and I now suspect DD's upchuck was another stress reaction - maybe delayed reaction to nursery school, despite the good week. Maybe because she was unsettled by the gig we took her to (she really isn't good with new experiences) or who knows? Anyway, I'm going to play "nursery school" with her tomorrow and hope it'll help her get enthusiastic again. This anxiety thing is a head-fuck, though. I talked to DD tonight about thinking of things that make her feel happy if she finds herself thinking about things that make her feel sad or scared. She was quite taken by that idea....

PS not much enthusiasm for food from DS yet, unfortunately...!! Early days, though (his expression when he had broccoli in his mouth tonight was priceless...)

StoneBaby Mon 25-Feb-13 20:00:53

bc DS is full time at nursery/pre school. 7.30am to 3.45pm daily. So if your DS is enjoying it and it's giving you somw breathing time, go for it.

IC good luck with palying 'school' tomorrow.

DS had a complete meltdown at swimming yesterday, refusing to leave me confused This is really unlike him. The only thing I can think of is that on Saturday when we went for fun, a grouup of 10ish years old were messing around and he ended up soaked by them. As a result I think he may have felt scared... So from next week, I'm introducing a sticker chart for going swimming by himself (and if needed will do that for the pre-school swimming too)....

NK2b1f2 Mon 25-Feb-13 20:52:52

BC Don't think it's too much especially if he enjoys it smile. dd2 is going three days 9 to 3 (or usually 8 to 3 including breakfast club, and if needed one day until 4 in after school care together with dd1) and I think it is the right level for her at the moment. dd1 never went more than three days until she started reception (and I was a SAHM then so didn't need any more).

IC I can imagine ds' face grin. Love the way you are dealing with your dd's anxieties. I'm afraid I may sometimes be a little brusk with my dd1 blush so in a way I am learning from you how to approach things...

ClimbingPenguin Mon 25-Feb-13 21:17:38

I remember DS took a good few weeks to get the connection between food and being able to chew and swallow it.

stoofadoof Mon 25-Feb-13 22:10:33

<quick wave>

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Tue 26-Feb-13 11:33:53

BC I agree with the others it is not too much if he enjoys it. <It is a pfb thing anyway no such guilt with DD2 doing 8/14 everyday a year earlier than her sister grin>

Well still at home my throat is killing me! DD2 seems better (so back in tomorrow).
She very happy though alternating between peppa pig and painting a lot. Yesterday was Jakson pollock today we have actual drawings, a dinosaur in the garden, a girl in a garden, the sun, numerous flowers of different colours... It is cool when they suddenly get something...

wave back to stoof

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Tue 26-Feb-13 11:35:43

IC I can imagine your DS face too. <lucky it was not spat back in your face wink>
I have heard that some children don't take easily to eating <hide in shame at my 2 food monsters>

ScienceRocks Tue 26-Feb-13 11:53:29

I agree with what everyone else has said BC. DD2 goes to nursery two days a week (she could do 8am-6:15pm but we tend to drop off at around 8:30am and collect at 5:15pm) and to my ILs one day (they collect her at 8:30am and bring her back at around 4:30 pm). Don't feel bad about it, as it sounds like you had planned for it to happen, it's just happening a bit quicker than you thought (I'm aware I sound all wise, but in fact I am not very good when things don't go as planned and mother about it for ages).

Love your DD2's painting, mous!

Good luck with the weaning, IC smile

ScienceRocks Tue 26-Feb-13 11:54:43

Meant to say to stone that it sounds as though your DS was spooked by what happened at the swimming pool. Hopefully a normal couple of sessions will make him realise that it was a one off and he'll remember he loves it.

StoneBaby Tue 26-Feb-13 13:18:19

SR that's what I think too. He did ask this morning if we were going swimming so fx it'll be fine on Friday when he goes with pre-school.

ClimbingPenguin Tue 26-Feb-13 13:32:50

I agree science he probably needs talking about it a few times rather than using sticker chart (he might think he did something wrong if it is generally used as behavioural modification). Can pretend play with him as well and give him some words/phrases he could use if it happens/is happening again.

A bit jealous of all this nursery and family helping out going on. To think I felt guilty for one afternoon.

ScienceRocks Tue 26-Feb-13 14:29:51

We are lucky to have our ILs to help, CP, but sometimes it does drive me mad. MIL pulling out DD1's first wobbly tooth, for example, and her habit of filling them with junk food :-/

And don't get me started on how she used to rearrange our furniture when we went away angry

Fortunately she has calmed down a bit in recent years. I think her other son's choice of wife has made her think I'm actually ok smile

Aw, bless you NK - I wish I was as sorted about it as I come across! I'm afraid I get rather brisk about it too sometimes - but I don't think it's an approach that helps DD as her instinct is to bottle things up and giving her short shrift about her anxieties probably makes her worse in that respect. On the other hand, some of it is probably attention-seeking and I don't want to give the attention reward if so. Tricky balance to get....
I've actually ordered a book about techniques to help anxious children...I'll let you know if it helps!

Poor old DH has got a squit bug - not sure if it's the same thing DD had on Sunday, but he's been pretty kyboshed by it today and came home from work after a couple of hours. He does seem to be brighter now, so we're hoping it's moving out of his system. Bloody hope I don't get it. Or DS, come to that. Feel like the Sword of Damocles is dangling over us at the moment...

Your MIL pulled out your DD's wobbly tooth, SR shock That's outrageous! Arf at the other wife making you look better in her eyes...

rainbowweaver Wed 27-Feb-13 02:34:16

Delurking to see if anyone has any advice, just notice at bath time today that DD seems to have a mild thrush - probably caused by the fact that she must wear tights, and at nursery wants to go to the toilet by herself with no help or people present whatsoever so may not get wiped properly. Other than getting her to wear loose trousers what to do re the desire to wipe independently?

Very impressed with your DD's painting mous!

ScienceRocks Wed 27-Feb-13 07:39:36

Rainbow, can you talk to your dd about asking someone to help her wipe? And use a barrier cream to protect the skin from being left a bit wet.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Wed 27-Feb-13 08:05:48

TMI coming. Little girls bits can have a bit of whitish stuffs (technical term I believe) in them which is not thrush. The way to clean it is to gently wipe with cotton like when they were babies at bit of vaseline would help. You can do that when putting on the bed time nappy? or teach her do it herself?
If it is spreading and itchy it might be thrush though.

ScienceRocks Wed 27-Feb-13 08:21:38

Just was running through dd1's spellings for the week:

Me: can you spell whoever?
Dd1: umm.. H..
Me: are you sure it starts with h?
Dd1: umm...
Dd2 ambles in: it starts with w

I'm sure it's utterly random but dd1 and I were a bit shock

StoneBaby Wed 27-Feb-13 10:51:00

SR whaoo. I'm impressed even if it is a pure guess

NK2b1f2 Wed 27-Feb-13 13:23:49

SR You have to test her in some other words!!! grin

NK2b1f2 Wed 27-Feb-13 14:09:00

ON some other words! This phone is driving me insane.

ScienceRocks Wed 27-Feb-13 16:18:13

Just tried NK.

Me: what does whenever begin with?
Dd2: w
Me: what about sphinx? <another of dd1's words for her spelling test this week>
Dd2 <thinking hard>: s
Me <starting to panic>: how about phonics?
Dd2: x

Phew. She's normal. Just got lucky with a few! grin

NK2b1f2 Wed 27-Feb-13 17:29:09

Still, impressive spelling for a three year old! grin (And for yr 1!)

StoneBaby Wed 27-Feb-13 21:36:02

SR lol grin I think it proves she's got a good memory as she may have heard you or DD1 spelling those before.

rainbowweaver Wed 27-Feb-13 21:38:10

Agree! 3 out of 4 isn't lucky, it's very good odds! And phonics ends with an 'x' sound. Some books actually use box and fox when they come to x, which is confusing to say the least.

Thanks SR, will talk to her. Knowing her she'll respond with a matter of fact "no" and carry on. smile Anyway, we're off on holiday tomorrow so will see what happens. She's happy with me wiping her at least! And will not use any soap for the time being. Funny enough she has only very little whitish stuff, as you put it mous however she's quite red all over the nether region for want of a better term!

Was tempted to do away with the bedtime nappy since there's been a couple of weeks of dry mornings, but still not brave enough yet. Must take the plunge one day though....

stoofadoof Wed 27-Feb-13 21:47:50

better late than never : DS is 96cm and 16kg…

SconesForTea Wed 27-Feb-13 23:05:32

A bit jealous of all the childcare and ILs help here too although I do have more than you CP. And I am a MUCH nicer person in general on the days DD1 goes to nursery. Roll on her free hours and longer sessions (atm she goes three very short 2.5hr sessions and it seems no sooner have I dropped her off, than am heading back to ck her up. And not enough time to get a reliable nap from DD2).

A fly-by post as I MUST get some sleep. Still shattered from our party-tastic weeken
Hope to catch up properly soon.

StoneBaby Thu 28-Feb-13 08:38:35

It's odd to see that the SAHM would like more child-free time and that I am envious of all the time you have with your DC and would like to see more of DS blush

Bearcrumble Thu 28-Feb-13 08:57:04

Do you have to fill in any forms or anything to get your free sessions or does it kick in automatically?

ClimbingPenguin Thu 28-Feb-13 09:02:48

We don't have any nursery now, DD doesn't do to the local pre-school until September. Now DH is working from home I am going badminton once a week during the day.

DD slept until 7 today <hooray> and only had one waking at 3 which was just after DSs feed. The drowsy antihistamines seem to help a bit with DSs sleep although there is still at least two feeds. His skin is getting a lot better as well.

The second of two london days in a row, had distractions yesterday afternoon and took DD to see the peacocks in the morning. Hoping the sun makes an appearance and I can chuck them out in the garden. I have leftovers for dinner and it's a climbing night though.

ScienceRocks Thu 28-Feb-13 09:55:29

bear the 3yo funding kind of kicks in automatically in that the setting has to draw it down from the LEA. It starts the term after they turn three (so April for our lot). While most places are very good at remembering, it does no harm to gently remind them smile

stone I think you have hit the nail on the head in terms of our childcare wants! Having done several combinations of SAHM and childcare (very long mat leaves at one extreme, and working full time plus extra freelance at the other extreme), I feel very lucky to have the balance I enjoy at the moment.

DD2 was cuddling me in bed yesterday morning and did that head tipping back thing they sometimes do. Smack into my nose. I whimpered, my nose bled profusely for about five minutes and I have had a headache since. It alkso appears to have messed up my vision in my left eye, which I am putting down to new (or rearracnged) floaters sad

I am thinking of encouraging her current love of letters and numbers by moving the magnetic board and letters and numbers from DD1's room into DD2's. In fact, it is probably time I overhauled DD1's educational toys as she has probably outgrown most of them and DD2 is at the stage where she might like them. A weekend job, I think grin

Ouch SR - poor you.
Very impressed with the spelling, though - wow!

CP good to hear your DS' skin is clearing up and you're getting fewer nocturnal interruptions, hooray!

Well, DD is still driving me batty - her appetite is back down, her sleep is still disturbed (although she doesn't call for us...just lies in bed awake for ages...) and the withholding continues to be worse again. Small breakthrough today when I got her to admit that she was feeling sad because of nursery...because she doesn't like being there without me...I listened, acknowledged, then helped her come up with a few strategies if she started to miss Mummy while at nursery (cuddle Bunny, go and do cutting and sticking, Mummy will collect her a bit earlier....) and she brightened right up, ate something, did a poo, asked for Big Girl Knickers and was much happier again. She still didn't eat much at supper, but hey ho, at least we saw an improvement. I just hope it doesn't take her too long to fully adjust to nursery. I try not to let my own anxiety (about her anxiety) show, but it's hard sometimes....

NK2b1f2 Thu 28-Feb-13 20:32:06

Well, the three year funding doesn't kick in automatically where we are. It has to be applied for and has a deadline for applications. The council also only fund certain childcare providers. With dd1 we lost out on the 15 free hours because no one told me I had to apply (no info was sent due to data protection apparently- what utter bollocks) and the only approved provider near us is usually full and also not very good. So we have forked out for the pre-school of our choice. Now met the deadline for dd2 but have no illusion that we'll get money towards the fees. So much for 'free' childcare in our area...

StoneBaby Fri 01-Mar-13 07:55:55

No free hours over here so I cannot say.

This morning on the way to pre school DS and I we had this conversation:
DS: 'it's a big truck'
Me: 'daddy dit(says) truck, maman dit camion'
DS: 'camion'
Me: 'good boy' (in French'
DS: 'daddy says truck, DS says truck'

He then looked at me with a big grin!!

The joy of bilinguism... grin

ScienceRocks Fri 01-Mar-13 08:36:10

Stone smile

More spelling wonderment here. DH was going through DD1's spellings (don't normally have to do them so much, but this week's have been trickier) and she got them all right except elephant.

DH: have a look at elephant, what's the third letter?
DD2 (from another room): E

She's a freak!

Having real problems with DD1. She's full of attitude and being really rude sad

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 01-Mar-13 08:50:41

SR you have a genius there wink
Is your DD1 5 or 6? If I remember correctly when DD1 was 5 there was a rough patch when she copied rude behaviour from her friends, I remember 6/7 and the beginning of 8 as being very lovely so hang on!
I was firm that it wasn't acceptable, and that I didn't care about what her friends did or didn't do, but at home and for her it was my rules, and that I knew that deep down she was a lovely polite girl...
And her rude friends are mostly very nice now (FX until the hormones kick in!)

Your DD1 might also feel like she is being upstaged by her sister (especially if she can answer her homework while she can't...) and been angry with it, is there anyway she can do her homework a bit more privately?

thanks [stdavid] trinkets of spring for all of you!

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 01-Mar-13 08:50:59


ScienceRocks Fri 01-Mar-13 09:05:38

Mous, thank you. I know it is a phase, and most of the time she is lovely, but these sustained phases of rudeness drive me mad! She's six (in year 1 a school), and behaves beautifully there. I'm glad it is this way round int hat she behaves there and not for me, but it is wearing.

We don't normally do homework like this, to be honest, and her spellings are normally mastered in two sessions of just her and me. These ones have proved tricky so have needed a bit more work, so have had to be done a couple of times when dd2 is around (not helped by us being away last weekend). She is not short of confidence in her academic abilities, so being upstaged by her sister is not a concern (in this case).

Pretty sure dd2 isn't a genius, more that she has a keen interest in letters at the moment (and has seen the spelling list stuck on dd1's wardrobe). Dd1 was much the same and now is capable (working at level 2c across the board at school) but very normal grin Well, apart from bringing a bible home from the school library and declaring that she wants to read it ALL before she takes it back confused

NK2b1f2 Fri 01-Mar-13 09:37:37

Same problem here SR, dd1 is also yr1 but not 6 until the summer. I also struggle with her attitude. Glad to hear mous that it improves in your experience.
Got he dreaded letter (first ever) saying there's been a case of head lice in the class... I haven't stopped scratching since!

NK2b1f2 Fri 01-Mar-13 09:40:04

SR It's not unheard of for children to read at 3... I think your dd2 will be one of them smile.

NK2b1f2 Fri 01-Mar-13 09:50:14

To be honest I can't see the point in spelling lists at all. A while back dd1 came home with a list containing words like flume, fuse and ruse which mean absolutely nothing to her. I would prefer children to learn to spell words in context and then have tests where they write full sentences down (that's what I did at school).
Sorry, wrong thread for this I know but just needed to rant.

StoneBaby Fri 01-Mar-13 10:50:57

NK I'm glad I'm not to only one to scratch my head if headlices are mentioned. I have to admit that I treat DS as a prevention each time we get that letter.

SconesForTea Fri 01-Mar-13 11:21:12

I am completely shock at your DD2's spelling SR. Flabbergasted. DD1 only knows a few letters and I thought she was doing really well! All taught by nursery, thus far. Maybe she could learn more if I applied myself to the task but.... I just can't face it.

On fact we are having a morning without her (she is with my dad) and I am enjoying it so much! Can't help but think I must be a bit weird to like not having her so much, but oh, the relief.

IC in my very unexpert opinion, your DD's nursery concerns seem perfectly normal. She is securely attached to you and of course would rather you stayed at nursery with her! Best of both worlds in her view! But she will get used to it, she really will, in time. And really enjoy it too. DD1 STILL says she doesn't want to go, on nursery days. But when I pick herp, inevitably she asks to stay for longer.

SconesForTea Fri 01-Mar-13 11:24:33

Also a bit shock at your lack of free funding NK. Ours kicks in automatically at DD's nursery.

And CP sorry to be dense but why is DD not going until September? How are your long lone parent days going?

How are you Beth, your alarums last week sounded trying...

SconesForTea Fri 01-Mar-13 11:28:00

SR ouch at the eye sad

SB sounds as if DS' speech is coming along nicely. Does he speak mainly French or English at nursery etc?

Mous twas a few posts ago but I was very impressed with your DD2's hidden monster. And also her trilingual speech, wow. How are you holding up these days?

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 01-Mar-13 11:46:57

Thanks scone Speech is a bit of a big word still but she is saying words together... confused I understand her "language" very well which is probably part of the problem.
I think I am holding by a thread. We are most probably coming back in 2 months time (start of easter holidays for DD1) but the prospect is glum... At least I might be able to meet some of you?

SB IME they always choose the language of education! you are right not to give up though.

ClimbingPenguin Fri 01-Mar-13 12:03:09

scones the places around here just don't have spaces until September and tend to only do one intake a year. Most pre-schools are attached to schools rather than independent ones.

NK2b1f2 Fri 01-Mar-13 13:56:38

mous You are coming back? shock To visit or to stay?

StoneBaby Fri 01-Mar-13 14:31:42

mous I'm keeping OPOL but thought his comment was funny. Are you back for good?

scones French is definately his minority language re speaking it but his inderstanding of it is as good as his English, he will also use the word in tge lamgyage which is easier to say ie truck is easier to say than camion but merci is easier than thank you. I hope this make sense

NK2b1f2 Fri 01-Mar-13 15:00:34

I hope Easter and summer break can convince dd2 to speak more. We don't strictly use OPOL because I forget and school/nursery interfere and English has taken over. But dd2 understands everything which is just as well as my parents don't speak English.

DD will rattle on in Spanish with DH at home, but if there are other English people around, she reverts to English. She will only speak Spanish with me when we go to Spanish playgroup, I'm not allowed to do it anywhere else as far as she's concerned...!!

Scones yes, you're right, it's a fairly normal reaction in many respects, but I think coupled with her other fears and how she reacts, she does have a borderline anxiety disorder - and I find the tendency to turn her emotional stress/distress inward worrying, even at this age. As much as anything, I'm concerned that her anxieties will stop her enjoying life to the full. And she's always shown signs of anxiety in her personality - which is why I'm keen for her to learn ways of coping which don't involve her starving herself/giving herself constipation/insomnia etc. (that last I recognise all to well, unfortunately!!)

CP how are things? xx

stoofadoof Fri 01-Mar-13 21:49:58

SR nk right there with you with the cack behaviour/attitude from DD1! I figure this week she's had a fair bit on her plate, what with the crash etc, and she's got a stinking cold and cough again too, but jeez I could have happily throttled her a couple of times this week!

actually, I could have happily throttled quite a few people this week - raging, hideous grumpy, hormonal old hagbag alert… (with the added shittiness of loan parenting cos DH has been out after the crash and my general demeanour being mid-hating self) hohum

off to bed… need to think through making a stegosaurus cake for DS's 'party' sunday…

thinking of you all, specially you CP hoping for a nice weekend for us all smile

ClimbingPenguin Sat 02-Mar-13 12:15:14


<goes in search of coffee, biscuits, sandwich to aid procrastination>

everyone is out swimming (obviously not DS, ILs will look after him while DH anf DD swim)

sorry to hear about your week Stoof you sound like you are still fragile as well. I thought I woke up ok, but then found myself still a bit shaken/spaced in the car earlier (always when driving).

ClimbingPenguin Sat 02-Mar-13 20:43:40

I have been a right impatient grump this evening, but why oh why does it take an hour for my children to go to sleep!

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sun 03-Mar-13 08:27:09

CP How are you all today? Courage! There will be a time when you will just have to put them to bed, not to sleep! <hopefully soon>

Yes, coming back definitely or at least until next job comes up somewhere! That why it is so grim...
We will be bankrupted soon, trying to calculate how and when to move for not disturbing the DDs too much. DD2 loves school but if we go back to the UK she won't have a place as we missed the application for free hours (same rules as NK). And with DD1 anxiety... , well, I don't know...
The weather is not selling it for us either, and DH's inertia is getting me angry now...
<Major PMS which doesn't help, worried sniffs>

stoofadoof Sun 03-Mar-13 08:30:28

<hugs> CP and mous and <general wave> to everyone else

ClimbingPenguin Sun 03-Mar-13 09:24:01

I was being impatient before bed. DD is mostly left to it, but I can't relax until she's asleep or at least being quiet. DS I was working up to leaving the room, we had been consistent with going to sleep in the cots for a few weeks and I was up to sitting by the door. Obviously now that is on hold although I feel up to trying him in cot for naps again soon.

mous sounds very stressful and unsettling. Is DH actively looking, what does he do with his days (feel free to ignore). I can understand your anger towards him and not wanting to uproot everyone to potentially do it again as soon as you have found a job. I've applied for a few things but with the fellowship hanging over me I feel very unsure about what I'd do.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sun 03-Mar-13 11:56:03

He is looking but hasn't applied to any confused, he is surfing all day can answer any questions about sports and news from about anywhere in the world hmm. He does help at home but I'd rather he wouldn't and find something.

I am earning the mean salary for the country i.e. 400 euro/months I don't think I can go much higher (to curb our outgoing we would have to live like the locals, which mean shit schools and no health insurance...and living with our family)
Good luck with the jobs.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sun 03-Mar-13 12:01:49

may be he is the one spamming mumsnet
<I don't mind if he paid a fortune to do it! grin>
He would never say soccer though...

Mous worrying times. I hope something is sorted for you soon, it's so disruptive as well as scary not to know how things are going to work out <hug>
Is it wrong of me to be a bit excited that you will be in the UK, though?!

Ups and downs continue with DD. She's had no lunch for the past three days, going into meltdown instead because she's been too tired to eat (because of interrupted sleep...stress-related). She cheered up by this evening having kipped, pooed and had a short walk outside. She ate a decent dinner and was in a good mood at bedtime. We shall see how it goes.

The book about anxious kids I've been reading has a lot of helpful strategies, but most are aimed at older children. That said, I can certainly adapt some of the ideas and it's reassuring to know that anxiety can be very effectively dealt with and that DH and I are mostly doing roughly the right things so far.

CP good to know DS is back home and won't need plaster etc. Good luck for his recuperation xx

ClimbingPenguin Sun 03-Mar-13 21:15:12

Thanks IC ILs have gone home so I am a lot more relaxed. With the stress DH told them a lot of details about life at the moment that I was avoiding so now I know their opinions on stuff I didn't care to. I shall stick to my plan of avoiding all skype calls in order to maintain some distance and their questions.

IC do you know what is causing this latest batch of stress, or you think still related to nursery changes. It is not unusual for DD to have her lunch after her nap as she has been tired and in a state beforehand. We only experienced 24 hours of withholding but as I said to you at the time, I was really surprised at the knock on effect in behaviour and other discomforts. It must be hard to not be panicky/read too much into every upset. I don't envy you walking that line. If it helps DD still often doesn't eat dinner. She is started to be adventurous in trying things which gives me hope and she does have days where she will eat a normal dinner (rather than child friendly guaranteed one), even if she doesn't eat the same thing the subsequent day.

DS has been learning to crawl today and was expert at making every adult know exactly what he wanted passing to him. Tomorrow is DD's party where other children come round. I'm really glad as DH is in london and I'm apprehensive about being on my own. Morning will be alright as we have playgroup. Then don't have not plans until Wednesday afternoon.

We got DD a purple gym fitness ball (those big ones that are like birthing balls), a bell for her bike, playdough and a colouring/painting book that only uses water. All for 20 quid. Other hits have been a hula hoop and the circus ikea tent (which we filled with balloons)

NK2b1f2 Sun 03-Mar-13 22:11:48

Oh mous that's just rubbish. I hope things work out for the best but you must be worried sick about unsettling the girls, especially as both are doing so well right now. (But like IC I am secretly excited to have you much closer!)

Talking anxiety, my dd1 is now falling squarely into that category. She literally shakes with terror if she spots the tiniest dog miles away, which makes going to the park difficult! She's also started keeping scores. Yesterday clocked up seven 'problems', four of those before breakfast (mainly related to me saying no to something, but she finds everyday life a bit tricky right now). I'm just relieved her teachers 'get' her and she is well supported at school.

Dd2 on the other hand is quite laid back but very much has her own mind. She's started wanting to do everything by herself, which is nice, but results in massive melt down if she can't do something. She's also been quite unsettled in the evenings/nights the past few weeks. I am guessing it's partly a developmental spurt and partly the new nursery. She adores going but the days are much more exhausting physically and mentally than her old nursery. She usually wakes around 11 ish just around the time we go to bed, and has to be reassured that all is well. Then she often wakes once in the night, or before 6. Sometimes she has nightmares, other times she just finds herself awake and can't find something (whatever the favourite of the day is... tonight she's gone to bed with a small plastic dinosaur).

StoneBaby Mon 04-Mar-13 10:55:06

Sorry to hear about the anxiety issues sad

DS is still unsettled re swimming to the extend that yesterday he refused to come out of the car. I really don't understand as he spent the week nagging asking to go! So my plan is to take him early Saturday morning (it should not be too busy) and on Sunday get DH to take him to the lesson. Fx it'll work hmm

Bearcrumble Mon 04-Mar-13 14:30:38

Not been around MN much because DD poorly (possibly just teething but I have my suspicions that it's a mild case of H,F&M - there are a few warty blisters on her hands and feet and her nappy area is not looking too good and that's never been a problem before) - not sleeping much and being pretty clingy.

SR - I am really impressed at DD2's alphabet skills. I don't think it is a fluke at all and you shouldn't downplay it.

IC I'm sorry to hear that DD is still having the issues with nursery and witholding. She's very lucky to have such a clued up mum. It sounds as if you are doing all the right things.

It's so important to accept them for who they are - I know you do this, and to remember that every seemingly 'negative' trait has a positive side to it too, I mean a child who is very cautious will always have the plus that they think things through more and are not as impulsive as other more carefree kids.

I know that DS is quite highly strung and will scream like a loon as soon as something frustrates him but I am working with him on managing his feelings by reminding him constantly that I'm here to help him if he asks and that if he feels like screaming he can 'take a deep breath and/or try again more slowly this time). There are no overnight cures but we do what we can to temper certain extreme traits while honouring that they are part and parcel of who our child is. Did you buy Everyday Blessings By Jon and Mya Kabat-Zinn - the mindful parenting book?

CP How is DS doing? Annoying that your DH let slip things to his parents but all they can do is disapprove, they can't change what you do or how the children are raised, so f* 'em, really.

Mous I'm so sorry that things are so horrible for you right now. What sort of work does your DH do and what is he prepared to accept? Are there any jobs for him or do you think he just doesn't want to look? I feel for you, it would drive me mad.

SB I'm not very good with remembering but is your fertile time coming up soon? Have you made a date with DH?

Re swimming, DH has booked proper lessons for DS starting this Thursday. My mum will look after DD while I go in with him and then she'll have him for the rest of the afternoon.

<waves to NK, Stoof and anyone I've forgotten x>

Had to smile at the picture of your DS as the slightly imperious tiny convalescent, CP..! Thanks for your thoughts on food - DD ate a fish finger today at lunchtime - I was too relieved that she had ingested some protein to worry about the vegetarian issue...! As to the withholding, yes - it really causes a myriad of other issues and is partly responsible (as well as being a symptom) for DD's difficulties with nursery.

Ah NK your DD1 does indeed sound like she has a few classic anxiety issues. The dog phobia, for example. My book has some good stuff on dealing with phobias and is specific about dogs...let me know if you want more info!

Good points, Bc - I think the anxiety things is tied up with DD being very bright and having a good memory. I know she will always have a tendency towards caution, but I think it's important she learns to manage her inclination to anxiety if it threatens to stress her to the extent that it damages her health or prevents her from living her life to the full. Thanks for the book suggestion, yes I must find out more about mindfulness....

Today wasn't too bad with DD, although she had a catastrophic poo accident at nursery. She was surprisingly cheerful afterward, although she's saying she doesn't want to go anymore. But she ate a prodigious dinner and was very chipper this evening - part of me is wondering if by grumbling out loud about nursery, she's actually dealing with it better than keeping it bottled up.....

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Mon 04-Mar-13 20:48:55

Anxiety in children is tricky isn't it? DS1 tends to overthink situations (again, I think due to being relatively bright) The fact that we are all aware of it and working to support them through it has to be good.

Mous I don't envy your situation at all. I will be excited to have you back in the UK too, but I wish it was because you want to be there, not because you have to be.

DH and I had our night away and it was fab. After our slightly chaotic day and three random nights of bad dreams, I have to go to bed now but wanted to offer a wave as I'm aware it's been a while. Can't read on my phone now until the 19th (when I get my free minutes again for the month) so may be a bit quiet. Hope you are all okay.

NK2b1f2 Tue 05-Mar-13 16:08:31

Dd2 came home covered in paint and told me she did a lovely picture today and it has her sister and her papa on it. I'm not on it because there was no space.... wink I'll try not to take it personally.

StoneBaby Tue 05-Mar-13 16:35:15

DS came home also covered in paint (shoes, jeans and on his back). His girlfriend and him decided to paint a large picture and then the arms of another girl [oops] grin

NK I love your DD2 comments.

StoneBaby Tue 05-Mar-13 17:48:15

DS new phrase is 'not yet'. This is driving me mad!!!!!

Third nursery poo today from DD - just as I arrived to collect her, so I changed her (and another leak, but not as disastrous as yesterday's). As soon as we were done, she decided she wanted to stay longer...which was good! And she's been talking about "When I go to nursery school on Friday, I want to stay for tea..." which is a good sign!!
Today was helped by me managing to get DD doing lots of running around and blowing bubbles outside (while DS had a 1.5hr nap, bless him - very helpful!), a very early lunch (11.00) and a nap before nursery. She was still up and down once there, according to the staff, but had a better day generally and actually seemed to be making friends, hooray. I'm starting to feel a bit more optimistic about it all now. DD has also eaten well all three meals today and has been very cheerful and full of energy with us at home....can I dare hope we've properly turned the corner this time??!!

Also good: DS lay smiling and gurgling while I actually got out my guitar for the first time in ages. And he was delighted to be back carried in the sling for a while, which opens up a whole new vista of possibilities, including easier playing with DD, housework...ooh, so much exciting stuff!!

Arf at your DS and the paint, SB!

ScienceRocks Wed 06-Mar-13 08:00:36

Sorry to hear about the anxiety, but great that your DD had a good day IC. I am quite I. Awe with how you are dealing with it.

Mous, your situation sounds really difficult. What does your DH do? And where do you think you will move to?

DD1 has perked her ideas up a bit. I had a very firm word on Monday about how she has been chewing her hair, nails, clothes... I know that it can be due to anxiety but for her, it really is just a bad habit. I have tried a reward chart, but these things just don't work for her (not since poo training!) and she only really sorts her ideas out if there is a risk that she will lose privileges if she doesn't <sigh> So the firm word about the chewing on Monday seems to have had an effect on her behaviour generally.

DD2 is much the same as ever. We are going to playgroup this morning, which she loves.

Like survival, my DH is going away skiing for a long weekend next week. I am actually quite looking forward to it, which is not very nice of me, but mainly because I have lots of nice things planned for me and the girls (seeing people, going to the library - we know how to live grin). DH has had a little dip in form recently, but is trying hard again. We talked quite a bit while away, and I think he was also quite shocked at how exhausted I was and realised that he needs to pull his weight a bit more.

Very me, me, me. Apologies. brewAnyone?

SR that's because you can't see me sobbing despairingly on DH's shoulder after a hard day of it..!!

I've now found a creative therapist - uses music, art and some play therapy to work with LOs and has experience of dealing with anxiety, including separation anxiety and also encopresis. We'll see how it goes... if it can help DD find better outlets for stress - and help her overcome the withholding - it will be money well spent.

ClimbingPenguin Wed 06-Mar-13 20:19:44

IC It must be so hard to get to grips with something you don't understand. No wonder your emotionally exhausted at the end of it.

NK2b1f2 Wed 06-Mar-13 23:13:49

Just checked on dd2 and love the way she still sometimes sleeps like a baby on her front with her knees pulled up under her and her bottom in the air. Awww.

NK2b1f2 Thu 07-Mar-13 07:02:51

Aww aren't they adorable at this age? Just woke dd2 for breakfast and she sat up in bed, sighed, and said 'That was a happy dream!' grin Glad her dreams were nice, I dreamt rubbish all night...

Aw, bless NK!

DD has been back to her usual self today and progressively better through the week. She's eating like it's going out of fashion and has loads more energy and joie de vive again. FX it continues....

Interestingly, observing her at the toddler group we went to today, it's clear she's learning some good lessons at nursery about interacting pleasantly with other children. And she's becoming very tidy, too. smile

ClimbingPenguin Thu 07-Mar-13 20:32:04

I've noticed in the past week that DD is starting to properly play with some other children now.

NK2b1f2 Thu 07-Mar-13 20:36:25

dd2 has started to sign her pictures! With a neat zigzag line grin

ClimbingPenguin Thu 07-Mar-13 20:40:07

oh yes, DD has been insistent on her doing the cards for a while. I have to write on the envelopes who they are to and from grin

Bearcrumble Thu 07-Mar-13 21:11:18

Nice to know things have been good today ic.

I went out with nursery to the woods yesterday. Was a nice walk but ds didn't interact with the other kids really. He also took forever to get his boots on and when I said "you're so easily distracted" one of the staff agreed with me so I felt a bit sad for him and disloyal for criticising him especially in his hearing.

Swimming lesson was good. Was v proud of his confidence but he is a bit younger and shorter than the others so his head isn't quite out of the water whilst standing so next week I'll have to go in the pool with him. He tried so hard and did everything the teacher said and listened really well. He even floated on his back with no one touching him and no floats etc.

NK2b1f2 Thu 07-Mar-13 22:34:29

I think for most three year olds playing with rather than alongside children their age is still a novelty and takes a while to master. Having said that I can see a massive difference in dd2 compared to dd1 at the same age, simply by having her sister instigating games and involving her in pretend play from a young age. dd2 is very confident to approach other children, not just her own age, and will suggest games to play. She also seems to make friends easily. dd1 found it much harder (not helped by glue ear) and at the same age would only talk to the staff for several months before starting to interact with the other children, with gentle encouragement from the staff. She then happily tagged along with groups of children but didn't have a best friend until she started reception aged just over 4.
It's nice to see dd2 having it a bit easier smile

Had another 'awwww' moment today, coming home late (dh did the school run). dd2 was already in a sleepsuit (she still has a few with feet that still fit her and make her look more like a baby and very sweet) and flung herself at me in delight, for a very big cuddle. Then dd1 and dd2 talked very fast and both at the same time, keen to tell me all about their day. It was some time before I could put my bag down and take my coat off grin. I don't like coming home late but I very much like the reception I get!!

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 08-Mar-13 06:27:54

Yes NK I agree they are super cute I have a small ball giant balloon of constant cuteness at home! <my 8 yo is not bad at all either>
I also agree with the playing because DD1 has been teaching DD2 she is there much quicker than her sister who wasn't bad as all her friends where older.

Happy woman's day to you all! thanks

IC That is good! You might want to read another book I will try to find a english alternative to the one I am reading in french, I had a lightbulb moment: It was me as a kid, and it is probably DD1 too... We are zebras... I will explain later.
Actually, they might be a lot of us on this thread and in our children. <BC, NK, CP, SR...>

IC I am sure your interview went better than you think (their loss anyway). How is DS?

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 08-Mar-13 06:45:11

oops IC CP of course!

I will post more privately I found a link for you IC

StoneBaby Fri 08-Mar-13 13:29:23

mous interesting booklet.

bc good to hear that your DS is doing well

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 08-Mar-13 15:09:42

Do you know when our "babies" start school, would that be sept 2015?

NK2b1f2 Fri 08-Mar-13 16:01:41

No, sept 2014. In 18 months time... They are mad in the Uk to start formal education at barely 4 years old. At least our Feb10 lot will be 4.5.
Dd1 is doing well but I do think she would have found everything a lot easier if she'd been just 5, not just 4 (late June baby).

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 08-Mar-13 17:18:59

but, buut it is next year <wibble>

SconesForTea Fri 08-Mar-13 17:20:28

I have chosen some "me-time" over going to see our brand new nephew (6 days old) - DH's brother's second baby. Am I a terrible person? (Don't answer that.) DH has taken the girls and I have the house to myself for a couple of hours. It's just such a rare occurance. I was going to make a birthday cake and get started on dinner; but I appear to be on MN....

Mous really sorry to hear that you'll have to come back to the UK. Just... sorry. I hope it goes well for you.

Survival glad your night away with DH was good smile

IC glad that DD is settling better at nursery. Also hurrah for the back carry sling. Although boo to housework (I am still using the excuse there is no point while we are having work done, even though we are clearly not having work done atm).

SR I was wondering how your DH was behaving these days (for want of a better phrase). I hope you enjoy your LP time. Will you go away for a few days later on, to even it out? Or is it only me who would keep tally like that?!

NK I couldn't agree with you more about starting school at 4. Poor, poor August babies sad It's just not right IMO.

Waves at CP, bc, SB and hope I haven't missed anyone out.

I have been having a bit of a bad patch with DH lately. Not super-bad but he is just being a typical selfish man and it is winding me up. He had laser eye surgery last weekend which put him out of action for the whole weekend (meant to recover in 24 hours) and so I felt like a single parent for the weekend (in the spirit of full disclosure I must admit we were at my mum's, but the responsibility still fell to me IYSWIM). He has Friday afternoons off but spent this afternoon catching an hour train each way for another eye appointment, READING A BOOK, while I walked the children to soft play in the pouring, pouring rain. I just feel that he pleases himself and never considers whether I might like some time off. Also the money, it is 'his' money as he earned it so he can spend £££££££ on himself, but I can't afford laser eye surgery as I'm not working because I am LOOKING AFTER HIS CHILDREN. Then I came home to his dirty washing up last night after a meal out with my sister when I have REPEATEDLY asked him not to leave his washing up for me.

Sorry, this all looks very very petty, and is I'm sure. I just feel totally grumpy with him at the moment and that's not like us at all.

ScienceRocks Fri 08-Mar-13 17:47:07

Scones, my DH can be a bit like yours. When I am feeling charitable and thinking rationally, I feel it isn't intentional rubbishness, more that he literally doesn't see things and think things through the way I do. When I'm not feeling so rational and nice, it drives me crazy!

At the moment, things are ok. He is listening more, though he still often reacts badly to things I say but he is trying to work on that. He is very busy at work and is terrible at switching from work to home - he says it will calm down soon, but he is always really into his work so I am unconvinced. Weekends are certainly better, but during the week I pretty much do every evening on my own and most of the morning (he does breakfast with the girls, then leaves). I have got used to it, to be honest.

As for whether I keep tally, no I don't. But it does mean that I don't feel bad about going to see a friend over the late may bank holiday for four days smile

<waves to everyone else>

ScienceRocks Fri 08-Mar-13 17:48:05

Sorry scones, meant to say that you don't need to feel bad about not going to see the new baby. Everyone needs some time smile

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 08-Mar-13 18:13:01

Scones I agree with SR

It is mother's day here and I had a wonderful flower sticked and a butterfly shape poem and some irises for women's day <melting especially with the poem which was singlehandedly made, awwww, the rest needed a bit of probing>

NK2b1f2 Fri 08-Mar-13 18:47:24

dd2 made some little chocolatey treats presented in a painted basket. She was very clear they are for mother's day but this morning got too tempted and kept licking them... I then had one and told her she could eat the other two (didn't much fancy pre-licked chocolate for mother's day). So far so good, but then she had a melt down about five times today, every time she spotted the little empty basket, because the treat was strictly for mother's day! confused Didn't help when I told her they were gone because she ate them...

NK2b1f2 Fri 08-Mar-13 18:47:49

Scones <hug>

ClimbingPenguin Fri 08-Mar-13 20:41:24

I am intrigued by the financial stuff scones Is it split into your money/his money? Sorry he is being a bit of a dick lately. How does he react when you speak to him about it?

bc nice to hear from you. Very impressed at the fact you were aware and spoke to a lot of people unlike me who reads posts here and there and then forgets them all when I come to write

StoneBaby Fri 08-Mar-13 21:10:45

Scones I'm shock by the money comment. You may not be working for money but you're raising / taking care of 2 under 4!!

CP great news on the job. Good luck making the right decision

I too got a box of homemade biscuits by DS. He too had a problem understanding they were for me...

DS is coming down with a red rash with a white spot on it. The 'rash' looks like brusing/insect bites. Is that how chickenpox starts? confused

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Fri 08-Mar-13 21:51:33

Mous I read your zebra passage and found tha I connected with it a lot. They tried to have me admitted to a psychiatric hospital aged 4 - enough said!! (And should I be worried that you did not mention me in the possible zebra category above?!! grin) It applies quite a lot to DS1, who appears brighter and more of a thinker than DS2. "But Mummy, how does a lady feed the baby in her tummy?" and "How does a flower get inside a seed?" in the last week!

Scones I feel I ask DH the same thing over and over again. I agree with SR - think they just don't see the mess in the same way (or if they do, it doesn't reach critical levels until much later for them, and by then the football is on the tv!) I find DH doesn't suggest that I have time off but when I tell him I have arranged something, he is quite happy to have the boys and steps up and takes responsibility for them (and even gives them medicines). Most defintely not a bad person re staying at home - do it more often and set up things for the future now while you can! As for the money side of things, me thinks you need a chat about this asap, as, if I remember rightly, you are still in the relatively early days of your relationship, where things can still be altered and changed before they become set in stone. Alternatively, he'll have to pay you the going rate for childcare from his wages before he spends the money on himself grin!

I do keep score of the nights DH has away but will never catch up, especially as I'm pretty much too scared to go away at the moment, as mentioned on facebook. Hoping this will improve as time moves on.

DS1 has bought me a mother's day gift from the PTA stall at school this week. He kept it a secret today and then blurted it out in passing at the breakfast table by mistake. Cue, dissolving into floods of tears amid reassurances from me that I would have forgotten again by Sunday what he had said!! It was so cute and my heart ached for him as he'd been trying so hard to keep it a secret. DS2 has come home with a clay heart, painted red and covered in glitter.

BC I was interested to hear about the swimming. DS2 had his first swimming lesson without me int the pool last week and it terrified me almost as much as putting DS1 through a general anaesthetic! Thsi was due to a) them not using arm bands (which I approve of but...) b) DS2 haveing such a tendancy to fall over due to his hypermobile joints and c) he doesn't know which way is up when he goes under the water. I had talked at length to the swimming co-ordinator about DS2 but she clearly had not passed enough info on to the actual teacher. There is one other child in the class who has SEN and she found it very hard work to keep both of them safe. I rang again yesterday before taking him and explained my concerns. I am allowed to sit on the edge in my costume for the next few weeks in a 'management of making DS2 sit on the step whilst waiting his turn' capacity. The teacher did much better at foreseeing the likely difficulties. He did go under the water while she was talking to him so it showed her what could happen, and she stayed very close to him afterwards!

SB I've just started reading 'Raising Boys' and it's got some really interesting info that will help me, particularly with multiple boyage!! There is one bit about putting boys under three in childcare that made me very sad, so I should skip that bit if you ever read it!! BC it helped me to understand why boys behave as they do (and I've only reached chapter 4!)

Well done IC on dealing with DD's anxieties. Sounds like you are doing brillaintly - no wonder you are exhausted. It will all pay off and sounds like she is really getting the hang of nursery. DS2 had a poo incident on the middle floor of a soft play place yesterday during a party. (Envisage me carrying him at arms' length over multiple assault course-style items!!) Luckily, he tends towards the constipated end of the range!!

And finally, for tonight (apart from hellp to NK, CP, Stoof and all others..), DS2 brought me an art canvas today that he had done a self-portrait on the other day. He wanted another go and to 'rub it off'. I explained that this was not possible and carried on talking to my friend. I heard a noise. He was in the next room with a wet wipe furiously trying to rub off said acryllic painted picture!!

Have a happy mother's day everyone. thanks

NK2b1f2 Fri 08-Mar-13 21:52:11

SB Have a close look at the spots. Chickenpox spots have small fluid filled blisters in the middle. Has he been exposed to chickenpox?

StoneBaby Fri 08-Mar-13 22:15:21

survival I've just bought 'Raising boy' on the advice of a friend. So as you're recommended too, it'll be a good read I hope.

The spots look more like insect bites than blisters tonight but I guess I'll know more tomorrow. No exposure as far as I'm aware.

ScienceRocks Fri 08-Mar-13 22:58:01

Scones, I'm sorry, I didn't take in the stuff you said about money. I agree that it needs discussing, but it is so difficult to do. DH has sometimes said this kind of thing to me, and I found it terribly hurtful, but when I raised it he said that he hadn't meant it like that and he worked hard to provide financially for us. He also always supplies money when needed, increases direct debits etc. While I earn less now (considerably), I owned a house and he didn't when we married and I also had quite a lot of investments. I also look after all the finances. This all helps redress the balance.

My main issue with DH is poor communication (and skills). I wonder that this is true for many men?

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 09-Mar-13 05:08:20

scones <hugs> no I didn't forgot you on purpose I guess you post less than the others on your children so know a bit less.
I agree with SR regarding the money that needs sorting out.
I am a SAHM (OK I am tutoring at the moment but not sure it counts as working) and I have total control of all the money because DH is rubbish. I have never bought something stupidly expensive and DH would never say it is mine and you don't deserved it. It is the family money.

As for the mess I am still trying to find a remedy, DH has some kind of screening device in his brain which makes him ignore it completely:
yesterday he left his beer unsupervised and DD2 had a big gulp, she liked it shock (brown beer looks like coca cola which she doesn't like).

The point I wanted to make about zebra to IC and it might fit with you to scones is that the right part of the brain (emotional) is used more often than in the normal population.
Zebras are more sensitive to the feelings in the room and received more informations about situations. They are very good at misinterpreting things too because of this overload of informations. And dwell on small comments that actually mean nothing to others.
Personally I can "feel" negative energies (anger, hatred, sadness...) and always had (That where I am thinking of IC 's daughter's anxiety). If I am talking with someone who had a bad day I will feel its anger for example but can't help to think it is directed at me because I don't know that this person is angry about something at work but not me: It was especially difficult as a child (I can only talked about it with hindsight I am or was completely oblivious in the instant). OK it is a bit confused, but the general population wouldn't pick up on this or take it personally, IYSWIM.

ClimbingPenguin Sat 09-Mar-13 09:11:04

that last bit in your post mous really resonated with me.

I take things literally, did alright at school but did very badly in stuff I found boring.

ClimbingPenguin Sat 09-Mar-13 13:57:00

Thought I should do a DS update. Generally he is good, have stepped down the pain relief quite a bit now. He still can't stand on his own, but he can climb the stairs and climb objects where he pulls him up with his upper body. Crawling is quite fast when he wants something and it seems to have been good for his speech as there a few more clear words.

That sounds interesting Mous! I couldn't make the FB link work, unfortunately. But that definitely resonates.....

Scones I would be boiling about your DH's attitude - does he honestly think what you're doing is not work because it doesn't attract a salary/other benefits..?? Outrageous. And if you've already contributed financially to the relationship, it makes his assumptions even worse. Yes, give him a bill for child care and domestic duties based on current rates and then maybe he'll wake up a bit about your relative contributions. He can't have it both ways.

Survival, NK, aw at the Mothers' Day stories!! DD came back from shopping with DH today and immediately announced she had got me some chocolates, but it was a secret grin

NK compulsory formal education in the UK actually doesn't start until the term after a child reaches 5. Reception year is purely optional, by law children don't have to start school until the term after their fifth birthday. Of course, in practice most do go into the Reception year as most schools want them to start in September and there's not guarantee of a place (that said, there are no guarantees anyway!).... Joe would have been 4 for three days if he starts in Reception (I'm considering holding him back until Year One, it will depend on how he is and what I think he's ready for nearer the time...)

Well, DD was okayish at nursery yesterday, although still not very enthusiastic. The nursery head took me aside and suggested we switch one of her sessions to a morning once there's a place available in a few weeks time. They're clearly keeping an eye on DD and know that she's taking a little while to settle in.
DD did another poo at nursery yesterday - that's four in a row, now. Once again, she had just done it when I arrived, so I changed her. But again, she was fine last night and again today, no sign of the depression she had a couple of weeks back, so I hope she continues to work it through....

Science good to hear your DH is still doing better, despite the remaining issues.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 09-Mar-13 16:39:01

IC I can't make the link to work you have to google the association and the author name that I gave on the post. sorry
Glad to hear about your DS CP

DD2 just had a massive nap on me <my bum is numb> but she woke up a few time mid sleep with a big loving grin when seeing me there, aaawwww <this is almost the end of those baby moments so worth it!>

She learnt to swing on her own today another tick to independence!

NK2b1f2 Sat 09-Mar-13 21:28:01

We are camping tonight wink. Admittedly not outdoors but in an empty house that has not been heated for at least two months, so we may as well be outside grin. The girls were hugely excited about sleeping on the floor with sleeping bags plus thick duvet and took ages to settle. Hoping for a good night.... We will probably leave the heating on because snow is forecast for tomorrow. House is just about starting to thaw grin. We are mad to come here but needed to see for ourselves in what state out last tenant left the place.

NK2b1f2 Sun 10-Mar-13 08:43:10

Only a 5 and a 3 year old can play hide and seek in an empty house! grin

StoneBaby Sun 10-Mar-13 09:22:36

NK how did the night go? grin at your DDs playing hide and seek

ScienceRocks Sun 10-Mar-13 11:39:49

Happy Mother's Day to you all thanks

SconesForTea Sun 10-Mar-13 13:10:33

Happy Mothers Day everyone. thanks Back later.

StoneBaby Sun 10-Mar-13 16:01:34

Happy Mother Day.

How is/was your day? thanks

NK2b1f2 Sun 10-Mar-13 22:04:06

Bit late in the day but Happy Mother's day to you all. Hope you had a good day smile

NK2b1f2 Sun 10-Mar-13 22:07:22

SB Surprisingly well. The girls giggled until nearly 9, then dd2 got up once in the night because she had 'lost her place' (robbed out of her sleeping bag I think), and dd2 then got up at just before 7. (Yawn). We didn't stay around long because it was snowing and headed home quite early, getting back around 1. Then all had a nap for nearly three hours! Camping, even indoors, is very tiring grin

ClimbingPenguin Sun 10-Mar-13 22:12:11

a normal day here but I did get the best mother's day present, a nap! grin

Did a run which was good as I had stopped when DS broke his leg and being generally busy with DD's b'day things, interviews and presentation writing. I could have run yesterday but I enjoyed a lazy day.

As DS isn't swimming atm, he and DH stayed home while I took DD. I also managed to take her to show that was at the children's centre. Normally would have dismissed it as wtih DS's lesson being just before DD's the timings don't work out. We both seemed to get a lot out of the 1:1 and made me realise I should make more effort with that. I'm not sure why we don't really.

DS stood up today, although he did fall down every other time he tried. Was quite a relief. He is back to climbing everything though so must have taken him off the table a dozen times today.

If I take the job we've worked out the children will be in nursery for 4 days as combination of DH working from home and my flexi hours means a few late mornings/early pick-ups. I want to clarify whether I can use the flex system to take a morning off once a week. If I can't I will raise some hesitation and they do seem very keen on me. Plan is for two mornings I will drop one off and DH will have two hours 1:1 time with the other. We went through the month of April working out what I would work each day and who would drop/pick children up to see how that part of it worked out. Hoping I get a phone call tomorrow and get a clearer idea of where we are.

NK2b1f2 Mon 11-Mar-13 13:27:41

Poorly baby here sad. dd2 was up half the night coughing, saying the cough hurt. This morning she couldn't walk or sit upright in the shopping trolley so I cut my shopping short. She's been on the sofa ever since, mostly sleeping. Just took her temperature and it's 39.9 sad. Poor little thing.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Mon 11-Mar-13 15:16:52

Sorry to hear that NK How are you feeling yourself?

CP good luck with the thinking

Ah, poor DD2 NK... sad

I'm feeling a bit lousy myself - really crap yesterday, bit better today but still decidedly iffy. A cold, I think. I'm off to bed in a mo... xx

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Mon 11-Mar-13 21:53:30

Belated happy mother's day to you all. Had a lovely day here. Trip to the Think Tank in Birmingham, flowers, teddy from DS1 (surprise, surprise.. smile) and a lovely necklace too. I also had a lie-in unil 9am and DH got the boys up and made the picnic.

Hope DD2 feels better soon NK. That sounds nasty. IC hope you feel better soon too.

CP it sounds like you've thought through the job stuff in detail. Good luck! Glad DS is feeling more like his usual self. DS2 had two nasty falls tonight. He has a mark on his face and a big lump on the back of his head so I shall check his head through the night and try and rouse him once or twice. I have begun a zero tolerance policy on the climbing on the furniture - they know that it is not allowed and they keep having accidents. Back to work now. Will be back in a day or two (and particularly when DH goes skiing at the end of the week! Good luck to SR with that too).

NK2b1f2 Mon 11-Mar-13 22:46:02

IC Hope you feel better soon!
mous Not too bad, thanks. Trying very hard to keep work and personal life separate, which should help.

dd2 is still quite poorly with her temperature not going below 38.5. She was in tears earlier when she overheard me discussing childcare with dh because there is no way she can go to nursery tomorrow. She cried because she wants to go, but even if her fever is down she won't have the energy. She's already been up crying five times or more since she went to bed sad. Here's hoping it's a vicious but short lived bug and that the rest of the family don't get it (although judging by the amount of sneezes that hit me today logic tells me I will be next).

Aw...*NK*... could it be another ear infection?

Well, I'm streaming today, but feeling less poorly with it, so that's okay. Meanwhile DS and DD both have the cold too, although they both seem cheery enough despite the snot/coughing...

DD had a good nursery session yesterday - she was a bit wobbly chin when I said goodbye, but apparently soon rallied and was on great form when I arrived to pick her up. That's the difference doing her poo in the morning makes! She's pooed this morning too, so hopefully she'll have another decent day, despite being a bit snotty....
She's also starting to regain some of the ground she lost during the nursery stress. She's back to eating eggs again (which is a big relief! Didn't want dairy supplying the main part of her protein) and she's twice requested to use the toilet to do a wee, which she managed each time. Yay!

ClimbingPenguin Tue 12-Mar-13 13:29:13

DS back in the cot for lunchtime nap and he went off without me in the room. Got him all settled first.

we are without heating again! plus DH is not back until 8/9pm tomorrow night. DD has been up since 5 and I need a shower.

<end moan>

ScienceRocks Tue 12-Mar-13 15:54:17

Oh dear CP, a long day for you sad

NK, how is dd2? Poor little thing sad

IC, glad your DD is coping better with nursery but sorry you are ill sad

I have also had a cold over the weekend, but it has faded thankfully quickly. DD1 also has it, but seems to be managing well, which is another sign that her asthma is on the wane.

Our boiler also stopped working today but a man came round and got it working pretty quickly, so that's a relief. I seem to remember last time DH went skiing, I was in danger of being in a house with no heating or hot water...

He's off on Thursday. I think he feels guilty because he pulled out all the stops on Sunday (was knackered at the end, as well wink). I have quite a bit planned though, so the time will fly smile

ScienceRocks Tue 12-Mar-13 15:58:20

<waves to everyone else>

stoofadoof Tue 12-Mar-13 20:30:41

<quick wave> and hugs and sympathy for all those that need it (which sounds like most of us!) Also empathy for quite a lot. Not in a great place at the mo (very first world but hey) would describe myself as a bit wonky. Still reading every couple of days here and on FB but not posting really at the mo, tired of hearing my own twining on (even if it's mostly in my own head) and trying to pull my head out from being firmly wedged up my bum… back soon, and in the meantime, thinking of us all! thanks

ScienceRocks Tue 12-Mar-13 20:58:13

Whassup stoof? Don't like my cosmic twin feeling wonky...

NK2b1f2 Tue 12-Mar-13 21:21:09

stoof feel free to vent here! We've heard it all over the past three + years wink. Hope you are okay.

Well, dd2 had a bad night last night, predictably, but woke up fever free and furious I wouldn't send her to nursery. So I did. Phoned at lunchtime and she had a huge dinner (not surprising as she hardly ate yesterday) and was absolutely fine. Didn't manage to collect her until after 4 by which time she had flagged considerably and was slumped in a bean bag with flushed face and red nose. I felt awful!!!! But they did reassure me she'd only been like that for about 10 minutes. Got home, put her into pyjamas, offered her a sandwich etc for dinner but all she wanted was water and then to lie down. Fast asleep by 5.20 and asleep ever since!
Still feel guilty for sending her in in the first place but I do trust the nursery staff and know they would have phoned me if she'd been unwell in the day. Still... sad

StoneBaby Wed 13-Mar-13 08:57:33

We're back to school and work today. DS had a meltdown when dropped off as he still wanted to play with the snow. I feel guilty to have him FT at pre school but we cannot do otherwise.

How are your DC doing re wipping their bums after a poo?
I help at home but staff at school encourage them to do it themselves (which I agree) and will check it's done properly. DS just goes to the loos without telling anyone, then wipe. My issue is that he doesn't wipe fully and we get poo stained pants every day.
Do you any advices on how to get him to do it properly? hmm

StoneBaby Wed 13-Mar-13 08:59:55

NK it's hard not to feel sad/guilty when we send them to school poorly. I am sure the staff would hace called you during the day if she wasn't well. How is she today?

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Wed 13-Mar-13 09:11:51

SB IME it is way too early to wipe themselves at 3, they need a arm length/body length ratio which is reached around 4/5, DD2 is just able to do it herself, not very well, very sensitive skin if they didn't do it at school she would be in pain.
I would say he can't reach therefore can't be taught!
(if he has long monkey arms and can reach properly make him look at the paper before throwing if it is stained it needs one more wipe...)
<feel envy sick typing that way TMI>

NK how are you all?

we have all that coughing/sorethroaty/coldy thing that lasts for ages, when you get better you get worse again it has been going on for a months now! hmm

ScienceRocks Wed 13-Mar-13 09:23:23

SB, I think it depends on what mous said, but also the consistency of their poo. DD1 is a firm girl, so could do it competently herself pretty early as there wasn't much to wipe blush. DD2 used to do as you say your DS does - going to do it herself and coming home with pooey knickers - so we have told her she has to ask for help, which she now does. Now I have started getting her to wipe and I do a checking wipe. Lovely.

Mous, how goes the decision making?

NK, how is your DD2 this morning? Sounds like she was better yesterday and simply ran out of steam.

I am grumpy at the moment. Starting to think that planning lots of stuff to do while DH is away for the next few days wasn't such a good idea, but on the other hand it'll be nicer for the DDs than me snarling at them all the time blush Horrible mummy.

NK2b1f2 Wed 13-Mar-13 10:21:07

Agree with arm length and consistency issues. Dd1 still calls me to help when home (never firm). Dd2 (always firm) does a good job herself and is particular about washing her hands, so I let her get on with it herself.
I do think it's quite incredible for just 3 year olds to use the toilet independently and I'm amazes dd2 needs no prompting or reminding or help.

Dd2 slept from 5.20pm to 7.45am when I woke her shock. She's quite snotty but fever free. She was happy to go to nursery but dh will collect her at 1 before she starts running out of energy. Hopefully she agrees to a nap once home.

ClimbingPenguin Wed 13-Mar-13 12:41:45

DD has done 10 hours the past two nights which isn't enough for her.

nk I agree with the no need to feel guilty, sounds like this nursery is on the ball and honest.

I had the people round last night that I'm going away with, we have booked our accommodation and have a rough idea of what mountains we will do. I managed to get all the tidying/cleaning done before children went to bed and have a shower. Only needed 20 mins of TV as well. I'm so much more organised when DH isn't here. I think we do things on different timescales so it always appears I'm the lazy one when I naturally am tidier (only as far as living space) as I go along and tidy/clean later than him. However he tends to make me start the day pretty messy which just begets mess/makes it harder to little bits here and there.

I've not let DD have a go at wiping as I just don't want to deal with it yet. Especially as she often does on when she first wakes so like that she wakes us to wipe her (well I don't, but you know what I mean)

I am cutting out DS's 10pm feed that had snuck back in. Last night went well and as he didn't have his antihistamine until that feed he then slept to 3 and then 6. Lately he has been going through to 10 and then waking every 2 hours. He also went off by himself in the cot today with me out the room

<goes and puts DD back into bed>

NK2b1f2 Thu 14-Mar-13 21:13:50

First time I got really spooked by something relating to my dc. dd2 woke up in the night a few nights ago and called for me. I went to see her straight away and she was sitting in bed with wide eyes. She wouldn't focus on me at all and just kept staring with huge eyes at something in the room just past me. Then she laughed out loud. hmm I got so spooked I grabbed her and brought her into our bed for a few minutes to check she was okay. I wonder if she hallucinated due to her high temperature. Luckily whatever she saw seemed to be funny rather than frightening.

NK2b1f2 Fri 15-Mar-13 10:15:31

Dd2 on form last night. Started shouting at 4 and I went to see her. She kept saying 'I want to go to the little shop but it's not there any more!' over and over again. I don't think she was awake but eventually settled again when I promised we'd go to the little shop! grin Then at 6 she came rushing into our room crying 'There's a large animal in my bed and it's talking to me, I don't like it'. confused Went with her to remove large hello kitty soft toy from her bed...

It's not full moon yet, is it?

dd1 now has the heavy cold and high fever and is home today. Luckily the girls timed the worst of their illness for Monday and Friday, the days I don't work! Right now it is eerily quiet in the house with both girls tucked up on the sofa with postman pat on dvd.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 15-Mar-13 11:07:01

Ahh poor girls!

NK2b1f2 Fri 15-Mar-13 11:12:19

mous you are right, but I was thinking more in terms of poor me blush because I was up and down all night and already feel my head and throat hurting. Having been hit by at least 20000 sneezes this week it would be a miracle if I don't get it... Just in time for being on my own this weekend as dh does some serious DIY in our old house (possible new tenant for mid April fx!!)

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 15-Mar-13 11:29:14

poor you too <hug>
we still all have that never ending mutating virus the story is getting old!
FX for new tenants.

StoneBaby Fri 15-Mar-13 12:08:57

NK full moon is on 27 March. Your DD2 has got a lot of imagination so her brain is probably working double time at night. FX for the new tenants (take a deep breath as ours has just renewed their lease).

ClimbingPenguin Fri 15-Mar-13 13:26:45

Anyone found their DCs really changed on their third birthday. DD's play is so different and I can immediately spot the toddlers who are under 3. She is still going through a development phase as she is overtired and grumpy, but also mostly OK. Just ends of things are full of crying, but actually I am OK at dealing with her when she is like that. She is back to 6am wakings.

DS doing great, he has only had one feed in the night for three nights running. Plus today's wasn't until 4:30am. Still quite wakeful but largely happy to just snuggle in with me. I think we are almost there with putting him in his cot and leaving him for his nap (nighttime not yet).

I got offered another interview today. I applied for 5 jobs as largely a academic exercise a few weeks ago. I got one rejection and 4 interviews, two job offers. I also had it on my CV about the children.

NK2b1f2 Fri 15-Mar-13 13:37:16

Yes I do see a difference in dd2 but as it coincides with starting her new nursery I didn't think it was just her age.

Impressive result for your applications, especially being offered the posts. I got shortlisted for pretty much everything I applied for too but only got two job offers (brilliant on paper, rubbish in interviews... Sigh.) Had to turn down one job because my childcare plans fell through and I had no nursery place for dd2.

ClimbingPenguin Fri 15-Mar-13 14:20:49

I remember that one. Tbh I deserved not being shortlisted for that one, hardly changed my cover letter and didn't even remember applying for it blush. The advantage of working in a niche is getting short listed, the disadvantage being is there are not loads and I wasn't excited by many of them. It's hard as the requirements of a job when you have children are quite different. I am relieved to be leaving academia though, I didn't realise it until I had made the decision. Not sure if I have said but me and DH will have the same salary which is also very nice (again I just tried to ignore that side of thins until now). It has been nice to have a good week after last week. Now I have to see if I actually have the ingredients in to make the cake with DD that I promised.

Oh, she is now getting obsessed with pink!

ClimbingPenguin Fri 15-Mar-13 14:21:01

and it is all Peppa Pig's fault

NK2b1f2 Fri 15-Mar-13 15:40:15

Peppa pig is banned in this house. I can't stand it.

NK2b1f2 Fri 15-Mar-13 18:40:55

Very briefly considered joining dh and going away for the weekend, leaving dd1 in charge of dd2... grin (Disclaimer: I am still here, of course!) I think dd1 would do a good job and be quite strict on bedtime and teeth brushing. She's also pretty good making breakfast (cereal) and sandwiches...

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 15-Mar-13 18:51:01

NK are you me, is your DD1 mine?

DD1 is going to be chief of police and DD2 the best con artist ever!

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 15-Mar-13 18:51:13

deja vu!

NK2b1f2 Fri 15-Mar-13 19:02:13

grin grin

StoneBaby Fri 15-Mar-13 19:23:06

grin grin
So now we know that NK and mous are cosmic twins (and may be living close to each other soon) like stoof and SR are grin

ClimbingPenguin Fri 15-Mar-13 19:51:07

I left DS to go to sleep by himself tonight! grin I think largely driven by the fact his feed was immediately prior to cot placement.

This deserves a glass of wine and a bath! Even DD went off quietly, although she did tell us herself it was bed time shock

ClimbingPenguin Fri 15-Mar-13 19:51:42

sorry am aware of the multiple DS sleep updates but figured you'd appreciate how much it means to me the most.

StoneBaby Fri 15-Mar-13 19:59:37

CP feel free to give update on your DS. He is a part of you smile great to hear you'll enjoy a quiet evening

Pass wine around. Cheers ladies x

NK2b1f2 Fri 15-Mar-13 20:32:00


ScienceRocks Fri 15-Mar-13 20:50:14

<chuckles at mous and NK>

Well done CP, I think we all have a strong appreciation for how important sleep is!

After having my mum group round last night for dinner (was supposed to be a night out, but was scuppered by DH going away so we relocated to mine), and feeling much better, I sent an email to them all thanking them for coming over and generally being great friends who make me feel like me, and explained how I'd been feeling quite isolated. Guess what happened? Quite a few replies saying that they felt the same. Sometimes saying stuff out loud is the best thing to do (obviously sometimes it is hugely inappropriate grin).

So thank you all too thanks wine brew smile

NK2b1f2 Fri 15-Mar-13 20:56:07


ClimbingPenguin Fri 15-Mar-13 20:57:35

science good for you for having the courage to reach out in real life. It's so important and I hope I remember to do it again when I have reach low points.

NK2b1f2 Fri 15-Mar-13 21:00:39

dd2 appears to have tonsillitis sad. Her breath smells like a sewer. (Unfortunately I know what one smells like because we had a bockage in one last week and as we hadn't been in the garden for months we only noticed when our washing machine drained straight into the kitchen rather than through the outlet pipe).

Bearcrumble Fri 15-Mar-13 21:03:28

Hurrah, SR.

sad NK.

ScienceRocks Fri 15-Mar-13 21:24:18

Boo NK sad

NK2b1f2 Fri 15-Mar-13 21:34:25

Well, the blockage was all fixed with an enormous slurry lorry (or whatever they are called) taking up most of the street and huge pipes running over several gardens to deal with what was lurking beneath the manhole cover in our garden. dh overheard the water board guys opening the manhole cover and saying 'Oh shit' (no kidding!) grin

As for dd2's horrid breath... she is not complaining about her throat too much so far, so fx she'll be fine. She is complaining about her luminous green snot and very sore nose though. This morning she was crying quietly into her cereal until dd1 crawled out of bed and was crying because her head hurt so much. Seeing her sister cry (in pain rather than anger) shocked dd2 into silence and she went and got a soft toy elephant to offer her big sister smile. I love the way my two interact and I am so pleased they have each other even after we are gone.

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Fri 15-Mar-13 21:58:00

I don't know where to start! Hope your girls are better soon NK.

CP great news about the jobs - see how clever you are? I'm like NK - good on paper but not so great in interview!! Still thinking that I will probably resign in May for September. DS2 will be at pre-school some of the time, so I really ought to carry on in some capacity bu I am so tired (mentally and physically) and can't help but feel I will be in danger of a breakdown at some point if I don't take some time out. I also have a very positive feeling that it will spur me on to something different and better, but rather naive that I don't know what that will be.

*CP8 go ahead with the sleep comments - I think we are all way past only mentioning our Feb 2010ers on here now!

SR well done for reaching out. It sounds like you had a fab evening and I'm glad they were honest with you too. To be honest, I think that's why I do have some friends in real life because I am quite honest about the fact that a lot of experiences of parenting are not all they are cracked up to be. I have a friend with a refluxer the same age as DS2 and a friend with DS aged 4 (with undiagnosed SEN I believe) and twins aged 18 months. We have some hilarious nights out discussing nothing more than vomit, snot and where someone (usually the children..) has pooed recently. We all accept that we don't have a llife to talk about beyond the kids (and my work is confidential so I can't talk about that) and laugh a lot. They were both in my NCT group for DS1 and we also talk about the fact that the other two ladies seem to have a perfect life, where they claim that nothing ever goes wrong. We have concluded between the three of us that they are a) deluded, b) too damn lucky for us to want to know or c)lying!

Randomly, my other good friends are neighbours, and that's obviously just been good luck, and two ladies I know from work (and we grouped together as the only folks under the age of 50!!). It's one of their husbands with whom DH has gone skiing, as we meet outside work with all our kiddiwinks. I never really expected to keep my uni or school friends as I think life moves on, but I am still in touch with three girls from uni (and two are DS2's godmothers). Many of this lot are extremely caring and do give me as much support as they can within their busy lives - thank goodness, given how little support I get from the family! Doesn't stop me feeling lonely on a day to day basis though when something goes horribly wrong and I feel for that instant that I am alone and in despair. I'm quite lucky though that I see the funny side of things quite quickly. I need to get out of comfort eating as the situations in which I have found myself have been going on to long now to be able to keep relying on chocolate to get me through. Anyway, apologies for the me pos and brain dump - not quite sure where that came from.

So far, the boys have been brillaint with DH away. Hoping it may continue but on guard in case. Off for a reality check with Comic Relief. Hope you all have a good weekend. Probably only on FB until about Tuesday or Wednesday now.

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Fri 15-Mar-13 22:01:22

Cross - posted NK - that's gorgeous! As we walked to the doctor this morning, DS2 said, "How's the man, Mummy? Is he better now?" I eventually ascertained that he was checking up on the pharmacy delivery driver who had crashed earlier in the week, preventing the reflux meds from being delivered. We had only made a vague mention of the van crashing. He's very considerate compared to DS1.

Also loving the cosmic twins! Can I have one too please? grin

ScienceRocks Fri 15-Mar-13 22:10:32

<clutches stoof in case anyone tries to steal her as their cosmic twin>

ClimbingPenguin Fri 15-Mar-13 22:43:36

grin at sr It's OK she's all yours (in the nicest possible way stoof)

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 16-Mar-13 04:54:27

NK That is cute. I feel the same with my too, they really take care of each other. and If you punish DD1 you have a little ball of fury defending her hmm.

grin at cosmic twin.

CP I am impressed, well done and good luck with the job.
I am crap at both, but now I know why I am bad at interviews in general and I only "pass" when I can connect with the interviewer and if I am not asked "silly" questions (for me! I understand they are perfectly reasonable in the context).

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 16-Mar-13 06:24:37

NOOOOOOOO! it is snowing.....

NK2b1f2 Sat 16-Mar-13 09:25:41

Ok, time to admit to myself that my favourite jeans don't keep shrinking in the tumble dryer. It's my bottom that is expanding blush

ClimbingPenguin Sat 16-Mar-13 09:29:01

No night feeds! Fed him at 6am. It's weird when they suddenly get something, couldn't have imagined this pre-getting ill/leg/ I think the fact he so clearly to comfort feeds has been the key component.

ScienceRocks Sat 16-Mar-13 10:49:55

Exciting CP!

NK2b1f2 Sat 16-Mar-13 13:20:06

Hate to say this but the weekend is going very smoothly so far without dh here... Wouldn't want to be without him of course but sometimes he complicates things unnecessarily just by his presence.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 16-Mar-13 15:34:01

NK are you me? wink grin

NK2b1f2 Sat 16-Mar-13 16:18:59


NK2b1f2 Sat 16-Mar-13 16:28:38

With the news today that there will be a serious shortfall of primary school places next year, do any of you consider HE?

ScienceRocks Sat 16-Mar-13 17:34:10

No, I wouldn't do HE. I simply don't have the skills. Or patience. Or inclination grin

I'm hoping that DD2 will get into DD1's school on a sibling rule. However, this year there were 26 siblings for 30 places, so it isn't guaranteed. We were lucky to get DD1 in. Although the school is round the corner (4 minutes walk), it is Church of England. We are not. But they put on a bulge class for DD1's year.

Quite calm here considering DH's absence too. Sounds like a lot of us are solo parenting this weekend. We're like superheroes of goodness smile

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 16-Mar-13 18:07:19

No, I wouldn't HE unless there is obvious problems at school.
Actually with DD2 I can see obvious problems with her being at home, I do understand her made language too well, she needs an environment where she has to make the effort to "fit in".
I can't HE DD1 too stubborn for me. I can extend both of them but I need the bases covered.

StoneBaby Sat 16-Mar-13 18:49:16

I would not HE DS neither. I will not have the bases or the patience to do it.

He is already registered in the school we want hm to go (has been since October 2012). In fact I am not sure Guernsey will be having the same shortage (if yes, the States is keeping it quiet).

I have been solo parenting today as DH left for work before 9am and is not expected home before 9pm ish.

But DS has been good today and even had a 1.3 hours nap at lunchtime shock shock shock shock and guess what shock He played by himself, we baked and played 'hiding' under the duvet cover as there was a black bear coming hmm (he likes watching Rebelle - Brave in English - and I think that's where the bear is coming from; but he is not affraid of the bear!)

As DS is now in bed, I am enjoying some wine

ScienceRocks Sat 16-Mar-13 19:36:31

Enjoy SB! I'm on hot squash brew and snacks because u can't be bothered to cook dinner for one and didn't fancy eating with the girls earlier.

StoneBaby Sat 16-Mar-13 19:42:03

I'm eating a tinned soup because I don't fancy the beef curry DH will be eating once he gets home.

Bearcrumble Sat 16-Mar-13 19:58:00

I am sort of considering HE. Feel that 4 is too young for full time formal education plus the nearest primary to me is full of v deprived kids with social probs. Will apply for the two bettet schools but if only offered a place at the crappy one will turn it down. There is q a big HE community round here with lots of social groups and trips out so wouldn't be lonely. Will see what DS thinks too of course and will attend open days.

Bearcrumble Sat 16-Mar-13 19:58:49

Had beef stew and dumplings.

ClimbingPenguin Sat 16-Mar-13 20:24:28

I used to think I would like to, but perhaps for secondary rather than primary and with DH taking half of it. I think between us, we have the skills to just supplement their learning. Try to show them the applications of the boring school stuff. Although largely I am sticking my head in the sand with the school thing, especially as we may again in October. There is town halfway between here and work that also supposedly has better schools. Seems that if you can't go private here schools aren't great.

ClimbingPenguin Sat 16-Mar-13 20:24:46

Saturday is beans on toast night

ScienceRocks Sat 16-Mar-13 20:44:21

I feel able to supplement school education (at the moment, anyway) quite well at home, which is serving the girls well so far. I also go in to DD1's class once a week to listen to reading (much needed for some kids, there's quite a bit of EAL and we live in a really mixed area socially). Not sure how I'll fare at secondary level, especially if the DDs choose a non-science route, very impressed that you feel,you and your DH could CP.

To anyone worrying about primary school admissions, we live in an area where it is considered pretty tough but it pretty much always works out. I was convinced we'd end up somewhere awful, so studied the application guide and became an expert (unnecessarily as it turned out, though many of my friends found my encyclopaedic knowledge useful - the joys of a semi-photographic memory smile). So try not to sweat about it too much, it does usually work out.

Interesting that there's quite a bit of home ed where you are BC...

ScienceRocks Sat 16-Mar-13 20:44:50

Had beans for lunch CP grin

NK2b1f2 Sat 16-Mar-13 20:55:00

Cashew nuts and wine grin (Ok, so I ate with the girls earlier...)

I'm quite worried about the school thing now. We are currently paying for dd1's education because we couldn't bring ourselves to put our painfully shy, immature, summer born, virtually deaf and mute due to glue ear, wonderfully creative but very stubborn pfb daughter into a reception class of 37 - which was the offer at the time. It's worked out beautifully for her and she has caught up and progressed beyond our wildest dreams. (The other school is now one of only three in town reported to have serious weaknesses in all areas and failing spectacularly, so I am glad I listened to my instincts). We got a lot of stick for our decision at the time... interestingly from people who moved into a better catchment area, paying a premium on their new house, so that their dc could be in a nice middle class primary hmm and others who suddenly found God and quietly had their dc baptised just before applying for a school for their pfb who duly went to the oversubscribed CofE school. hypocrits!

dd2 has just joined the nursery class at dd1's school and is guaranteed a reception place next year. Our problem is that there is no easy way we can pay school fees for two! Our plan at the moment is to move somewhere else, probably back to the Midlands, and start both girls in a new school next year, dd1 in Yr 3 and dd2 in reception. Doesn't look like such a clever plan now I guess.

NK2b1f2 Sat 16-Mar-13 20:58:12

Hoping IC is okay, she's been awfully quiet this week.

Bearcrumble Sat 16-Mar-13 21:03:51

Are there any bursaries on offer, NK? You'll have looked into it of course. I kind of think when it comes to our children's welfare you do what you have to do to make things as good for them as possible, sod the principles. Would never judge someone for going private even though I consider myself fairly left wing.

Bearcrumble Sat 16-Mar-13 21:05:40

(And would do it myself if we had the means and the school was what we were after).

ScienceRocks Sat 16-Mar-13 21:13:40

NK, what a quandary sad Sorry for being insensitive with my comment about it usually working out. Obviously every child is different and you have to do what is best for them. With DD1 I was quite relaxed about where she would get to go to school (in a control freakery looking at loads of schools with notebook in hand as I am a strong believer in "forewarned is forearmed") because she has so much confidence with the added bonus of an October birthday. DD2 doesn't have either of those things, but I've yet to meet a child with her combination of charm and stubbornness wink

NK2b1f2 Sat 16-Mar-13 21:25:52

SR I think you are right that it usually does work out but dd1 was quite an unusual case smile and we couldn't afford to move into a better catchment area (not something we looked into when we bought our house!) because I wasn't working but we can afford school fees because of renting out our old house...

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sun 17-Mar-13 05:59:06

I do wonder about IC too.

StoneBaby Sun 17-Mar-13 08:02:35

I''ve posted on the fb group to IC in case she's more on there. Fx all well for her...

NK2b1f2 Sun 17-Mar-13 08:25:40

SB me too on fb bit haven't had a response yet

NK2b1f2 Sun 17-Mar-13 08:30:47

Dd2 is having one of her mega lie ins again. Such a shame dd1 doesn't do lie ins!
Last night dd2 insisted on eating her dinner wearing mittens because her hands were cold confused. I let it go because she was using knife and fork but I do wish I had taken a picture!!

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sun 17-Mar-13 18:30:13

Happy st patrick's shamrock [pint emoticon missing!]

StoneBaby Sun 17-Mar-13 18:49:26

[pint] [pint] sent your way grin

SconesForTea Sun 17-Mar-13 19:49:55

Hi everyone <waves> Is it wine o'clock yet?

On my rubbish phone so no scrolling back. Well done to everyone who solo-parented over the weekend, hope it went well.

Get well wishes to NK and family, IC and anyone else who is under the weather.
Big hugs to Mous, has your DH made a decision about the job yet?

We had childless friends over all day yesterday, I found it quite a strain trying to act 'normal' (i.e. continue an uninterrupted conversation). It's just not my normal any more. We did have d a good time, if the weather had been better it would have been easier as could have done an outing somewhere.

CP great that DS is recovering and WOO HOO on the sleep! The beginning of a brand new world. Also fab on the job.

I didn't mean to mislead with my post about DH and money, that is my interpretation he never said it's 'his'. I asked him what he'd say to me getting laser eye surgery too and he said go for it, he would put it on an interest-free credit card same as his. I don't like all the debt though (and it is EXPENSIVE - his cost 3.5k, mine likely to be more as my eyes are worse); and I'm not even sure I want it, very squeamish about my eyes. Ugh! I may go for a consultation and see what they say.

DD1 is obsessed with 'going to the shops to get bread, cheese, yoghurt, sausages and a newspaper'.

DD2 is hyper, hyper clingy, it is like she is a different child. Since my dad had her for a couplt of afternoons a fortnight ago. How on earth will I EVER work with my two clingy, sensitive, delicate girl?! <tears hair out> I'm still not sure if doing the right thing with keeping DD1 at nursery. The tears and protestations have started up again and are getting worse. But I honestly don't think I could manage to have her all the time. She is hard work.

ClimbingPenguin Sun 17-Mar-13 20:24:23

I'd still be miffed about DH spending that without it being decided jointly beforehand.

I found with DS in nursery that he was soon fine once I was gone. It was me who dealt with the clingy fall out, not them. Are you looking for work then?

DS needed me next to him tonight but he was ever so itchy, piriton seemed to take ages to work. Have done two nights with just two feeds. Yesterday evening one wasn't until 10pm as I was at tutoring but then his second was at 7am.

stoofadoof Sun 17-Mar-13 21:10:05

<quick wave> and <squeezy hug> for SR my cosmic twin… highly recommend it smile

something going on for DD - dunno what but she's been behaving terribly and has demanded that she goes to a different school but not talking yet…. will have to get to the bottom of it, but worn out with the last few weeks (DH still very sore from the crash and not fully functioning yet) and my own internal pile of shite… so not much energy and poor DS has been hitting 39/40 for the last 12 hours…

we all really do seem to have a lot on at the mo don't we? <big hugs> all round… whether congratulatory, commiseratory and consoling or just straight up friendly…

ScienceRocks Mon 18-Mar-13 07:29:01

Sounds difficult stoof. Hope you get to the bottom of your DD's issues.

Lots on this week...

ClimbingPenguin Mon 18-Mar-13 14:44:36

sorry to hear that Stoof Sunday nights are always a particularly low point in the week.

DD and DS decided to keep each other awake 5-6:30 this morning, they did go off for half an hour though. Thankfully we are having a OK nap.--and I've eaten lots of cake--

NK2b1f2 Mon 18-Mar-13 20:02:18

Stoof, hope your dd is telling you what is bothering her sad

flyingcloud Tue 19-Mar-13 11:33:32

Hi everyone.

I am really going to try and post on here more (I miss you guys!)

Some of you have namechanged though and I am looking at you like I recognise you but can't quite place you (sheepish).

I have a few things that I really need to get off my chest in my usual selfish way. I will try and catch up a bit and post again.

I hope you are all well - those of you who I don't really see on FB big wave - and those of you who are on FB, hope you are all surviving.


StoneBaby Tue 19-Mar-13 11:58:27

Waves back to fc come and rant as much as you want (or use fb if you don't want to do it on a open forum)

ClimbingPenguin Tue 19-Mar-13 12:59:22

big hello to fc

there is still the names doc on the fb page, I believe it is up to date (ish)

Had been feeling quite hopeful about the sleep situation. DS was awake for 60 mins, 30 mins and 2 hours at various points in the night. Lost track of DD but she needed us going to her at least 6 times plus numerous other random shout outs etc. DS is happy enough not being fed, but come 5am he is very wakeful. Means I get a batch of sleep from 1-5 and struggle at all other times.

Aw, I'm so touched that you've been worrying about me....! Thanks smile

Sorry I haven't been posting - this chesty virus thing I've got is the pits. I've been getting virtually no sleep as the coughing wakes me up ALLFECKINGNIGHT - I thought I was used to sleep deprivation, but this has been in a different league.

Thankfully, my GP has given me cough linctus for use overnight and a steroid nasal spray, so hopefully I'll get a better night's sleep tonight. Yesterday was improving and today was the first time I've felt vaguely human in about ten days. The GP said the cough mixture might come through my milk and make DS a bit sleepy - I said, hopefully "How much do I need to to take for that to happen?" Poor old DS has just had a couple of bad early mornings because he's so bunged up with this cold bug too.

DD, meanwhile is very cheery and is now properly enjoying nursery (hoorah!!) and seems to be getting better with doing poos and is taking an interest in using the loo for wees again. I'm hugely relieved that we seem to have come through the tricky nursery/separation patch. But I'm still going to pursue the creative therapy route for her - I don't want her laid low with stress in that way again if we can possibly avoid it....

Big love to all of you - I've just skimmed the last couple of pages and will get back into posting again now I'm feeling less dreadful xx

ClimbingPenguin Tue 19-Mar-13 19:57:30

I was quite disappointed that the 'drowsy' antihistamines didn't really help.

StoneBaby Tue 19-Mar-13 21:41:11

Yayy IC welcone bqck and fx the medicines bring yiu sleep/rest

I have started reading 'Raising Boys' and I am pleased to say that it is a book easy to read (i get quite tired when reading English books) and some advices I will follow, others are hmm I'll try to convince DH to read it...

SconesForTea Wed 20-Mar-13 16:05:13

Hi IC, glad you're feeling better! FX some of the drowsyness gets through to DS....! And hope you all continue to get better.

On the subject of reading books about our DC, was there one you were all discussing a while back about accepting your child as they are...? I am having real difficulty accepting DD1 for herself atm. She is so negative, contrary, and difficult. I can't help thinking "why can't you be more like DD2" which is both unfair (after all DD2 is still a baby really) and damaging (I do recall being very hurt when my mum said this to me - as she did a lot - my DSis was the 'good' one). We had a friend round to play yesterday and even she commented on how aggressive DD1 is. I'm sure it is all tied up with the nursery fear, and further back with DD2's arrival/moving house/starting nursery all within months, but I don't know what to DOOOOO about it.

Nursery was much better today, she took her snuggly bunny with her as her smiley friend. No tears.

I have had several heavy "talks" with DH about how unhappy both DD1 and I are but he just doesn't seem to emotionally 'buy in' to it. I don't know now whether I'm being unfair/expecting unreasonable things or not. I said I'd like some child-free time - ON MY OWN - each week. He just looks at me dumbly instead of suggesting anything. I then have to say "why don't you take them out for a few hours on x day". Am I being a complete harpy? I just don't see why he doesn't have the gumption to suggest such a thing himself.

IC did you say you were going to take DD to a child psychologist or did I imagine that? I have been wondering if I should take DD1 to see someone. She is clearly acting out some unhappiness and I don't have the resource to help her.

In all honesty I regret having children at the moment. I feel so worn out, so spent, and there is no time off, ever.

Sorry for the me post I didn't actually mean to write all that...!

I have just bought a gro-clock to try to reset DD1's wake time to 7 instead of 5.45/6. Lack of sleep must be contributing to her behaviour.

stoof hope your DD opens up soon about what is troubling her.

CP I am looking for work if you count 'looking' as glancing through the local rag every week. I am desperate to get out of the house but also very aware that it will in all likelihood be a logistical nightmare and I will have to get up early and I don't do early starts very well. Plus I have no faith that anyone will want to hire me as I have been out of the game for so long so being a bit defeatist about it. Self-pitying, moi?!

Right off to cook dinner before DD2 wakes up PLEASE...........

<waves to all>

flyingcloud Wed 20-Mar-13 16:17:00

Scones, I could have written your post a hundred times in the last year (you're not alone).

My relationship with DD1 really suffered in the late stages of pregnancy when my tiredness increased and tolerance went out the window. Then in the early days of snuggling a newborn she demanded so much of me. I felt this huge need (my need) to protect DD2. DD2 needs were physical I realise now, and DD1s needs were emotional and I slightly but not irreperably (sp sorry) ignored them.

DH took over a lot of care of DD1 and their relationship blossomed and I now realise, as an elder daughter, why I had such a strong bond with my father. My younger brother was a very high needs baby and my mother must have gone through all of this with me.

Now that DD2 is not so glued to me, and I no longer BF, I spend a lot of time rebuilding my relationship with DD1 and get hugely frustrated that when things are hectic and I am on the verge of meltdown that DH steps in to take DD1 off my hands - but never DD2!

I still get massively frustrated when I am on my own with them (all the time when I'm not working, DH is working crazy hours), as DD1 is the one who seems to deliberately throw a spanner in the works. Of course it's not really like that, but I do wonder why, why, why is she doing this to me when I am rushing, stressed and trying to get a million and one things done.

My advice, from someone who hasn't quite succeeded!, is to try and offload DD2 to DH as much as possible and spend some fun time with DD1 when you can. You definitely need child free time too, but a 3yo on their own is relatively easy and can be entertained. DD1 and I go for hot chocolates occasionally on weekends, or to the merry-go-round, or just potter about together. I have to put all necessary housework, cooking, shopping etc on hold and dedicate this time to her.

I still struggle, hang in there.

flyingcloud Wed 20-Mar-13 16:30:39

I'm sorry to come back and write all about me, and not enquire how you are all doing. I follow most of your activities on facebook, so know that we all have our struggles and some of those are a lot worse than mine when it comes to worries about our children, but I really need to offload to someone.

Earlier this year I was diagnosed with depression. I went through a couple of fairly big traumas which I don't really want to go into, and they pushed to the surface this underlying feeling which had been there, on and off since the birth of DD1. I suppose it started out as PND as I went back to work too quickly. I never spoke to anyone at the time but had a few months where I felt, quite literally, mad.

Then when pregnant with DD2 it all came back and I started having the worsts kind of thoughts. Again it sorted came and went until recently. I realised that it was having a major impact on my ability as a parent and I decided that I didn't want my children to suffer because of my health.

I described on Facebook going to see my GP and how wonderful he was. I am on pretty heavy anti-depressants, but still have bad days. I am slowly sorting a few things out, but it's still a struggle.

I completely lack the confidence to go out and make (and maintain) friends. I can't talk to anyone about this. DH is really struggling to come to terms with it. I don't think he ever really 'believed' in depression and can't understand how me - with a caring husband, two wonderful daughters, no major money worries (there are always money worries, but we are comfortable at the moment), a job that affords me great working conditions (mostly) and is really the pinnacle of my career - can not be happy. He is under so much pressure himself and just doesn't know how to help practically.

His lack of understanding is hard to deal with and I am scared it will drive a wedge between us.

Anyway. I am sorry to dump this on all of you. You are really the only ones who seem to truly understand what it is like, this frantic time of our lives.

I hope you are all doing ok, I think my own self-obsession is a big part of this, and I do hope you will forgive me if I don't ask after you enough or offer enough wisdom when you are all so generous with imparting yours.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Wed 20-Mar-13 17:15:39

So sorry FC and scones.
FC your DH is french isn't it? We (french) are completely screwed up with depression and stuffs like mental health and so on, he might have is parents pushing behind too (i.e. not being supportive). Is there any way you can educate him and his family on the fact that it is a real disease or he/they just won't listen? It might be easier and have more impact if the GP or some common friends do it than you.

IC glad your better. <send sleepy vibes>

ScienceRocks Wed 20-Mar-13 19:00:14

FC, sorry you have had such a difficult time, but glad you have recognised that there is an issue and got some help. It's a shame that your DH doesn't recognise that depression isn't a form of failure but instead is about an imbalance of chemicals. Have you tried describing it as that to him? How are you managing with work? And are you receiving counselling as well as medication? It sounds as though you are very self-aware, which is fabulous, and that you are finding your way through it. Please do come on here and vent any time you like (or on the FB group). You are safe here with us thanks

Scones, the same goes for you. I think one of the big unspoken truths about having children is the way it can affect your mood and quite literally bring you to your knees. Remember (and this goes to FC too) you have had two children in a very short space of time. The toll that takes on your body, physically and hormonally, is enormous. The emotional side of things is also huge, as is the sheer practicality of juggling two children. You are both doing amazingly well. Have faith in yourselves, be kind to yourselves and do not be afraid to reach out when you need to (at least here, if RL is too difficult) thanks

IC, I am glad you are feeling better. We were all worried about you so thank you for returning!

Mous, how are things with you? And NK, CP, survival, stoof, everyone...!? We all have a lot going on, don't we?

My "thing" today is DD1 being unwell. Despite her various atopic illnesses, she is a very resilient child and has done well this winter to not be unwell. Unfortunately she seems to have a bit of a tummy bug and is quite distressed by it, so she has lots of cuddles, poos and is now tucked up in bed. I tried to call DH to tell him that he didn't need to pick her up from Rainbows, but guess what? His mobile was dead. Some of you may recall that this isn't the first time this has happened sad and I am absolutely furious that I have to have this conversation with him again angry

We are supposed to be going away for a night tomorrow, just him and me. The jury is currently out sad

ClimbingPenguin Wed 20-Mar-13 19:59:50

scones sad I hope you see what it is you need. I think key to DD1 lies in dealing with/helping you. I hope that doesn't come across in a bad way

fc glad to hear you are coming out the other side.

The past can be a pain. For the most part mine doesn't come into my consciousness very often but it occasionally it slips in like Sunday when I had an extra drink and it did throw me of kilter for a few days. Plus yesterday I exhausted physically and from sleep deprivation. Bounced back today but lucked out with sleep, naps and children's moods. Anyway fc just wanted to say it will start to fade etc even if it feels like it takes a long time.

flyingcloud Wed 20-Mar-13 20:56:09

Thank you all - you are very understanding. I do feel safe here, which is a relief.

Mous - it's really interesting what you say about the French attitude to mental health, I think that's why I took so long to do anything about it. I think DH wants to understand and the fact that our GP, who he sees as a very solid, wise old French man, was so understanding and took it so seriously, suggests that I am actually ill.

Yes, I am seeing a counsellor, and I am surprised at the things that have come up. I am struggling to open up and there is a slight language barrier as I realise that I lack a bit of necessary fluency, but I think we are getting there.

Science, I am sorry that your DH's phone is dead again. I find that so frustrating. My DH makes or receives on average 20 calls an hour between 6am (yes really) and 8pm (yes really) at night due to his work. I get so frustrated that the phone is this lifeline, but also a parasite on our lives. I hope you can go away with your DH, time alone is productive, away from the stresses of day to day living.

Climbing - you seem like such a strong person, I can't imagine you having wobbles. Getting out to do your climbing must be such a lifeline for you.

I signed up for aquagym today, it's late in the evenings but at least it will get me out of the house! (although I am going away for work next week which is actually a big perk).

stoofadoof Wed 20-Mar-13 21:38:04

oh fc sad nice to have you back though!

hugs elsewhere as usual smile

still unsure what it is with DD but will get there… not so much teeth grinding last night so maybe she's working through whatever it is.

work have offered to pay for some counselling for me (i feel i've somehow hoodwinked people into thinking i do a good job as everyone is complimentary (the sane bit of me recognises that actually that's probably the case, but somehow I can't accept it) … won't bore you with the long version of this… i think i would benefit from talking to someone so agreed to it, but have changed my mind as i've realised i've actually spent 20 years buttoning a lot of stuff safely up inside and don't know what sort of cans of worms may be opened up and am not ready or prepared to go there. also actually don't think it should be up to work to pay, though it's nice of them!

umm we're supposed to be on an internet free night and i'm knackered so best go...

StoneBaby Thu 21-Mar-13 11:46:33

fc big hugs. I agree with what has been said before. I think your DH reaction is v French but also v manly (my DH who's part Irish/part British) will be reacting the same. When I was low last week he told me to go and sleep to feel better confused

scones how are your DDs doing re separation at the moment?

* stoof* big hugs too

mous any news on the job offer?

Waves to all - I'm supposed to be working grin

Bearcrumble Thu 21-Mar-13 20:18:32

FC sending lots of love to you. It's brave of you to have sought help and I'm so relieved that the GP took you seriously and that you've got some support from a counsellor.

Scones The book that helped me with the accepting my child for who they are was - "Everyday Blessings" - www.amazon.co.uk/Everyday-Blessings-Inner-Mindful-Parenting/dp/0786883146 although I still get annoyed and shouty when he behaves in certain ways. Mainly when he disagrees with everything I say for the sake of it (as it seems to me).

It is really hard, this whole thing - and the minute you feel you are balanced something throws a spanner in the works and it can be hard to remember good times when you feel bad and vice versa, and it can change so quickly.

Funnily enough last night I was looking into counselling - I had a bit of a rude awakening as an old friend got in touch to tell me how horrible I had been in the past and played a big part in him dropping out of school. I'd had no idea and always thought of myself as bullied rather than as a bully but I could see that he was right. We met and talked it through but although there are now no hard feelings he doesn't want to maintain any contact and I feel sad about that.

I realised that I often attack as a form of defence and that my temper with those closest to me is not good and that I won't let other people close to me express their anger to me. It's because my feelings are so strongly 'fight-or-flight' when someone is angry with me I can't actually handle them.

I've found one that looks good not far from where I live and she only charges £45 for 90 mins.

IC I hope you are feeling a bit better with your medication and you got some sleep last night.

SB How are things with you? We didn't go to the swimming lesson today as I was rushing around and then we were running late and just missed a bus. DS had a meltdown and I just turned round and dragged him home.

I didn't have a great day today as DS kicked DD early in the morning when I was out of the room. He came out to me and said "I've just kicked DD". (??!). I took her away and sat in another room with her while I calmed down. I asked him why - no answer, tried to change the subject.

Later on I apologised for being grumpy and he said he was sorry for being grumpy too. Then even later he said quietly and thoughtfully "I do try to be kind...."

Bearcrumble Thu 21-Mar-13 20:21:40

And, Science - I'm sorry DH let his phone go dead. How are you today?

Oh fc so sorry to hear about the depression and that your DH isn't able to understand it. I don't think I can put it better than Science above, but just want to say you have my huge sympathy - before I became a mother and then a mother of two I could never have appreciated just how hard it is at times and if you're struggling with mental health issue it makes it much MUCH harder. Please open up to us on here as often as you need to....

...likewise Scones. I think the fact that you can see the issue with your relationship with DD1 is positive - at least you're not refusing to acknowledge it or pretending it doesn't exist. I suspect you're reacting to each other's mutual stress as much as anything else and so you have an ever decreasing circle. I'm going to take my DD to some therapy sessions - not with a child psychologist, but with a creative therapist who uses elements of music, art and play therapy when working with young children and their families. So although the session is mainly for DD and helping her find ways of addressing her anxieties, they are also for me as well - so I can help her too and of course work on my own responses to her emotional issues. So you may find something of that sort to be really helpful in rebuilding your relationship with DD1.

I also read somewhere recently that it is very normal for a mother's relationship with their first born to cool somewhat when the next child comes along and for the oldest child to be resented for a time until the family dynamics right themselves again. Babies - especially fairly easygoing ones - are very easy to get along with as fc says - their needs are largely physical and you don't have the emotional complexities and behavioural issues of an older child to deal with. I adore DD as much as ever but with the caveat that she drives me nuts far more easily than she ever did before DS came on the scene - and of course, he grins and coos and gazes at me adoringly most of the time just to underline the point..!

Science sorry to hear your DH's fecklessness with contact has reared its ugly head again. Pah. I hope you manage to sort something out. Sorry to hear your DD is poorly - get well soon x

I'm now getting more sleep thankfully, although coughing fits are still waking me up - and I've strained my ribs from coughing so much, which doesn't help. Ah well. At least it's the end of term tomorrow so I get DH back full time for the next few weeks - the upside of being married to a teacher!!

ClimbingPenguin Thu 21-Mar-13 20:31:19

have you read the 'siblings without rivalry' bc same people as 'how to talk to kids...' crew.

I took DCs into the city as the museum had a painting thing. Took them straight after tumbletots thinking they'd nap on the bus. DD didn't listen to that part of my plan and DS only did an hour. Still was a good day though.

Just did a run and cursing my PFs, although stupidly I did try a short fast one and I think it was wrong time of month. I have however neglected my exercises and noticed I should be doing them more. Hopefully this is a wake-up call as I sometimes I feel like all I do is physio exercises (also do them for a knee's) so go through periods of stopping them. I know it is silly in the long run blush

ClimbingPenguin Thu 21-Mar-13 20:41:58

I readily admit to people that I have felt the two children very nearly broke me. They possibly did for a while.

Bearcrumble Thu 21-Mar-13 21:26:16

<nods in agreement>

There were times I wanted to just run out into the street and under a car in the early days when they were both crying/screaming.

Tuesday I met a lovely lady in the part with a 2-year-old DD and 10 week old twin DSs. She asked me when the 'drowning' feelings stopped. I said about 6 months. But it does come back sometimes - normally on days when I have them both all day.

I love the days when DS does afternoons at nursery 12-3. It's enough to have a bit of rest and come back to him refreshed but not so much that I feel guilty that I'm abandoning him. I do admire you, CP for managing with both full time. It was only really when he started at the nice nursery that I felt I could manage.

I don't have siblings without rivalry. I downloaded a sample of it - now called 'raising happy brothers and sisters' I think. I feel like I ought not to buy any more parenting books until I've finished all the ones I already have! Maybe I will buy the full book.

ClimbingPenguin Thu 21-Mar-13 21:43:24

ha ha, well I don't have to do it much longer. I know I will miss them and probably cry when I drop them off at nursery the first time, but afternoons are soooo hard, that I am grateful I don't have to do them much longer. I don't feel being a full time mum has come easily or naturally to me and I am no-where near being the mum I want to be most of the time.

Bearcrumble Thu 21-Mar-13 21:50:03

part = park

Bearcrumble Thu 21-Mar-13 21:52:16

I'm not either.

Bearcrumble Thu 21-Mar-13 22:03:12

Oh and counting has stopped working. He used to rush to do things before we got to '3' - now he just keeps counting (sarcastically) after we've stopped.

ScienceRocks Fri 22-Mar-13 09:55:26

Stoof, just remember that saying no counselling now doesn't mean you can't take up the offer in the future... And stop with the imposter syndrome (I say this as someone who also has it!), if people think you are good at your job, then you are. Accept it and be proud!

Bear, glad you have found someone local for your counselling. Sorry about the old school friend, that must have been difficult.

IC, I am always in awe of how you get on with things. Enjoy your DH being off for a couple of weeks smile

CP, it's great that you are looking forward to getting back into work. What childcare plans have you made?

DH was very apologetic for the phone thing (though he nearly got clobbered when he suggested that I should have emailed him if it was urgent - I had left voice messages on his work and mobile numbers, and sent a text), and has promised to charge overnight. We have had a lovely night away. Feeling some romance for the first time in years smile

Waving to everyone else...

ClimbingPenguin Fri 22-Mar-13 12:11:02

stoof meant to say, I think it depends on how long they are happy to pay for.

ClimbingPenguin Fri 22-Mar-13 13:30:29

It appears I have a 25 day cycle, I feel cheated. As it AF returning after 10/6 weeks respectively hadn't made me bitter enough grin

NK2b1f2 Fri 22-Mar-13 14:40:33

Those of you with babies, wait until your older one is 5 going on 15 with teenage attitudes to match and your younger one at 3 is testing her new independence and is very cheeky and challenging... grin <not helpful>

stoofadoof Fri 22-Mar-13 20:01:18

nk grin and <snap>

sorry bout my last post too (some of that just spilled out as you may have gathered… clearly need to engage brain more before fingers), but science and others, thanks thanks

DS had improved mid week from earlier in the week 40 temp and aches… seems to have the runs now and just went in the bath… writhing about complaining of his bum being sore…. fortunately asleep now - hoping he manages a decent night.

best go - internet free tonight smile

ScienceRocks Fri 22-Mar-13 22:37:03

I'm with NK and stoof on the older back chatting child wine

Aw Science that's a really sweet thing to say, but I feel a bit of a fraud - after all I have a fantastically helpful DH who is almost always home before five, baths both DC, does a load of laundry (and hangs it up to dry) etc. etc.....I wonder how I'd manage if he was less domestically engaged than he is.

I would love to be one of those creative mums who comes up with interesting child-centred activities etc. to do with the DC, but if we're at a loose end it's usually visiting a friend/going to the local cafe/going to the library/going shopping that I resort to!

stoof sorry I didn't comment on your situation....big hug to you too xx

ClimbingPenguin Sun 24-Mar-13 22:24:02

busy few days coming up

today was London with DH and DCs (cold but tried the sling for the first time since DS did his leg)

tomorrow: outpatients with DS and hopefully (if DCs go to sleep in time) meal out with DH

tues: going to brighten for some vegan shoe shopping (DH has day off so having DCs), tutoring and then climbing

wed: go to my mums for a few days for clothes shopping/looking at clothes as DH has an overnighter and two London days.

StoneBaby Mon 25-Mar-13 08:50:59

CP fx your DS has improved. Enjoy the shopping. When are you starting work?

ClimbingPenguin Mon 25-Mar-13 09:07:17

meant to say looking at cars

ILs have offered to sell us their car on what they have been offered for part exchange. It makes sense to accept but I'm still not sure.

I start on the 22nd

Bearcrumble Mon 25-Mar-13 13:14:38

CP How did DCs like the science museum?

I am shattered this morning. Had two bad nights in a row. DD currently sleeping. DS at nursery. I didn't realise Friday was a bank holiday and that's his full day at nursery and I am a bit pissed off. And I feel bad for feeling a bit pissed off.

He has been a bit more hard work the last week or so with nagging, whining etc.

He's been coughing all night last few nights so expect some of it is due to tiredness.

Here follows a massive self indulgent whine:

I took him out on our own on Sat. DH looked after DD. It started off well - we went to an old East German trawler ship that's moored off Canary Wharf. It was fun and they had a little automata exhibition (the main reason we went). Afterwards we went for a sandwich in the shopping centre and he acted up. Insisted on having his juice in cup rather than drink from a straw in the bottle. I said he'd knock it over and lo and behold it went all over his jeans. I was really moody about it and I felt guilty afterwards. It was the way he screamed about wanting a cup and wouldn't listen and then did exactly what I was worried he'd do.

Then he kept droning on about wanting Haribo. Then I went to the loo and after we'd left (and I'd asked him if he wanted to go) he said he needed a poo so we had to traipse back to the toilets again. And then there was no poo. I know these things written down look really minor and I feel like a bitch. I think it was lack of sleep on my part. Then when we got home and I offloaded to him a bit, DH gave me a lecture about being aggressive with him and how I should just laugh when he contradicts my every word/disagrees with all my suggestions.

DH had made dinner while we were out - dinner being an enormous pot of 'vegetable & buckwheat stew' that tasted of cabbage water and sadness. I ate more on Sunday but there's still loads left in the fridge.

SconesForTea Mon 25-Mar-13 18:52:31

cabbage water and sadness Oh dear bc <stifling a smile> Hope to be back later.

SconesForTea Mon 25-Mar-13 20:22:00

Well bc you sound just like me (with your day out with DS). They can be sooooooo infuriating and especially when you KNOW that something will happen (in our case it is usually that she will fall off her chair and hurt herself) and then it does. I sometimes find myself so cross, I can't even comfort her afterwards <pins on Bad Mummy of the year badge> And I would like to see your DH laugh in the face of that and on no sleep for the past year.

stoof I really do know what you mean about the hoodwinking - I've been waiting to be found out my whole life - but I am SURE that you are good at your job!!! Maybe it is, maybe it isn't up to work to pay but do bear it in mind for when you feel stronger. I'm sure your work can afford it where maybe you can't....?

fc welcome back to the fold. Sorry to hear that you have been having such a torrid time, and the lack of support from your DH. Nothing else to add on top of what everyone else has said but it IS hard, life is I guess and having children REALLY is. So if you have had other emotional stuff to deal with on top of that, it's no wonder you're having difficulties. I hope that your DH can accept it and support you. I know what you mean about fearing it will drive a wedge between you. I have always thought DH and I are rock solid, but I have been so ANGRY with him lately for what I perceive as lack of support. And lack of HELP!!! <grinds teeth> <decides not to go there>

IC how is your virus? Are you getting any sleep?

SB how are you doing? Did you have 'the talk' with your DH? Any more success in DTD?

CP your comment about two nearly breaking you - yes. I look back at last year wtih utter horror, honestly. I don't know how I helt it together at times. YOu just have to don't you. But I did hate it, hate it.

I ought to get the happy brothers and sisters book. There is a lot of rivalry from DD1 towards DD2 mainly. I have to say bc the older sibling attacking the younger one happens aquite often in this house. DD1 also readily admits it to me. Sometimes I am overcome with rage and sometimes just get her to apologise and kiss. It is the only time that DD1 kisses DD2 and she (DD2) just loves it.

Oh yeah and I am NOWHERE near the mum I would like to be <laughs hollowly> Forget crafts, I would just like to shout less.

DH is back with the shopping so I will have to go, Mous what is happenidng with you this week and how are you feeling?

ScienceRocks Mon 25-Mar-13 21:54:51

Oh bear, that sounded very sad. We all have times when we struggle with our DCs, and sometimes the smallest silliest thing tips you over the edge. We all have those days, you are not alone.

Scones. You are sounding more positive. True or just a party face? I hope the former.

I am miles off being the mum I want to be. This evening I got so frustrated with DD1 not being able to sound out scelidosaurus, I had to leave the room. Ridiculous. But I do feel that a lot of time I do get it right and try and build on that rather than festering on the negative. God, this mothering lark is hard sad

Have been given a slightly hard time by a friend today. Our children's centre (which is attached to the nursery I am a governor at) is being decommissioned and she is furious.

How is everyone else?

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Tue 26-Mar-13 07:17:52


ScienceRocks Tue 26-Mar-13 07:32:27

Whassup mous?

flyingcloud Tue 26-Mar-13 09:09:51

Hi everyone,

Mous are you OK?

What upsets me is when I hear DD1 shouting at DD2, and I realise she gets it from me (I don't shout at DD2 except when she puts her fingers in the sockets and I am the other side of the room, or when she picks up the dogs' bowl and licks it when I am elbow deep in the sink with washing up, or when she climbs into the shower and starts trying to eat shampoo when I am on the loo... but I do sadly shout at DD1 a bit, although I am working on it and getting better.

Still having potty training issues here and also major meal time issues. If DD1 is remotely tired she just won't eat - she is a bad breakfast eater which means she struggles with her energy levels in the morning, gets tired before lunch, doesn't eat lunch (cries and gags at the first mouthful), then sleeps for a long time because she's tired.

on the other hand DD2 slept until 7am this morning - her energy levels were outstanding this morning due to sleeping so well!

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Tue 26-Mar-13 10:32:36

Just the usual won't bore you again. I think I have peri menopause too and we have a blizzard on top of it!

I do think about all of you and I am sorry for all your troubles.

SconesForTea Tue 26-Mar-13 11:14:46

SR sounds unfair your friend giving you a hard time. I'm sure the very last thing you want to do is decommission a CC. All these cuts sad I do wonder where it will all end. Will they cut the EYEE next? Our DC qualify next term, hurrah! And nursery are putting their prices up by 20p an hour too.

Mous ((hugs))

I have just bought three parenting books from Amazon on my credit card even though I have NO money and really should cut up the cc. It just seems an easy option when the coffers are bare.

Taking DD1 to nursery this morning was awful again. I was in a pretty good mood from Thursday last week through to yesterday. It seems there is a pretty strong correlation between nursery days (mon-weds) and my bad, bad moods. OTOH, if she were at home now, for instance, there is no way I would be at the laptop, ahem, getting through my to-do list.

Yesterday when I picked her up she told me proudly that she hadn't cried and I said how happy that made me and I did give her a sweet (is that bad? Positive reinforcement is the idea and it was just one smartie). I pick her up at midday and the other children eat their lunch bang on midday and I asked her if she would like to eat lunch at nursery, she said yes. (She will from next term when she gets EYEE.) So she can't dislike it that much, can she? So why do we have to go through this PERFORMANCE every time?

CP how was your meal out with DH? Hope you managed to go.

We have a very busy Easter weekend coming up with mainly seeing family - DH's, my dad, and my mum on three separate days (my parents are divorced so always see them separately). We are also due to spend Good Friday with friends with DC similar ages. I have told DH I am not going to come, will have that day to myself. He's not particularly happy about it but I know that if I don't snatch time to myself, it will never happen. I may stay away GF night due to train times and I already feel dreadful at leaving DD2. Am I being ridiculous. I feed her mornings, evenings and nap times so about 4 times a day. Maybe that's too much but I have no idea - literally NO idea - how to cut down. With DD1 my milk dried up because I was pregnant.

SconesForTea Tue 26-Mar-13 11:15:24

She does at least drink cows milk now.

ScienceRocks Tue 26-Mar-13 12:22:06

Scones, I was a useless BFer so have no wise advice on that one.

But... What do you do when you drop your Dd1 at nursery? If you don't already do it, a swift kiss and cuddle and telling her when you'll be back (before the others have lunch) should do it, then firmly hand her to a staff member and leave. Is she ok when you collect her? I wonder that this commotion is to do with her simply minding you leaving her and once she gets stuck in to whatever she is doing, she is fine. What do the staff tell you?

Mous, come back and talk to us!

ScienceRocks Tue 26-Mar-13 12:25:24

Flyingcloud, we have meal issues too. DD2 is hopeless at dinner time, it drives me mad! Now I am firm with her and she doesn't get yogurt or fruit unless she eats a decent portion of her first course. I used to ban her from watching a TV programme afterwards (this is the only time my two really get to watch TV at home) but this proved impossible to administer with Dd1 as well. I figure that it usually works out over the day/week/month food wise, so try not to worry too much (though I do).

What potty training issues are you having? Wees, poos?

Thanks for the enquiry Scones...I'm getting more sleep because I'm dosing myself several times a night with a combination of Ventolin and the cough medicine the GP prescribed. Seems to keep the worst of the coughing fits at bay. I don't tend to get much sleep after about 04.00 though because poor old DS gets increasingly bunged up and starts needing more cuddling/feeding from this point on. Ah well. At least DH is around so a siesta isn't out of the question if I get really knackered.

"Cabbage and sadness" made me smile too Bc - while feeling a lot of sympathy. Sorry your day out was so trying. Three year-olds can be a bloody PITA, eh?! Especially when poor old Mum is struggling with disrupted nights courtesy of the baby of the family....
<rubs weary eyes>


Eating can be an issue with DD when she's tired, too. She didn't eat much at all at supper last night saying she was tired - actually, a lot of it was because she needed to do a poo <sigh>, although she also has a bit of a cold. We put her to be early, she coughed and writhed for a while, then when I went to check on her, I realised from the smell that she had filled her nappy, but typically was sound asleep. So we had to wake her up by changing her nappy, then she decided she was hungry so had a banana and a recharge story before going back to bed.

Which meant she was tired this morning, but I managed to fit a 1hr nap in before nursery. But when we got there, she decided she wanted to do her poo while I was there....but didn't after considerable faffing. I left her to it in the end (luckily they were making Easter nests, so that distracted her while I got away...). Honestly. Scones, they don't have to cry and create to have a drama at nursery, believe me..!! Good to hear your DD1 had a better day of it, though....

ClimbingPenguin Tue 26-Mar-13 21:02:16

Thankfully climbing got cancelled, I still haven't even started packing yet.

DS will feed with me around but also fine without me. He is on 2/3 feeds now we've cut out night feeds (normally morning and evening but he doesn't need to them so we have quite a flexible system). He will ask for a feed if we are out in a strange place or feeling a bit cranky. He doesn't have one before nap.

stoofadoof Tue 26-Mar-13 21:50:33

<quick wave> just in from the village hall committee meeting… honestly it was daggers drawn… grin but i'm v proud of myself - i volunteered for nowt more than i'm already doing (first time ever!)

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Thu 28-Mar-13 07:01:20

good on you stoof

FC scones how are you doing? thinking of you.

IC better?

The easter bunny went into a panic today realising that he didn't celebrated this sunday with england the girls will miss it this year as the orthodox one is in may (and we should be back in the UK by then).... Bunny also very annoyed that they don't do bags of chocolate eggs anymore so they can be hidden around the house... (at least not the one the bunny like to munch to spare the girls a chocolate overdose)

NK2b1f2 Fri 29-Mar-13 10:55:23

Mous Lots of small chocolate eggs (esp ones I like!) ready here to be hidden for the girls, although Easter egg hunt will probably be indoors this year due to SNOW (Argh). I don't get large Easter eggs at all, lots of small ones are much more fun.
Keeping my fingers crossed your plans are progressing well. I take it return to the UK is still on the cards?

Waving to everyone else. Very slow internet so mainly lurking.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 29-Mar-13 14:33:24

bear loves the pralines eggs now they are all creamy yuck or kinder surprises <yuck! envy <-sick bunny>

StoneBaby Fri 29-Mar-13 14:51:27

mous when I was a kid I used to love nougatine chocolate eggs. I don't like cream eggs neither

Dry but cold over here so DS is enjoying playing ourside (it's 4.5C)

StoneBaby Fri 29-Mar-13 14:51:49

Sorry outside

Much better, thanks Mous! My cough isn't bothering me so much overnight, which means my ribs are getting a chance to recover too. Shame DS has decided to fill his nappy before 05.00 the last couple of nights - then takes an age to go back to sleep (still bunged up from his cold)....there's always something..!!

Anyone got tips on how to put viscous eye drops into a reluctant baby's eyes? Getting them beyond his long eyelashes is almost impossible, given his struggling/blinking/screwing his eyes shut.... Silly thing is, once a drop is in, it doesn't bother him too much, but boy it's a hell of a fight to get it there........!! I've tried applying the drops while feeding him, distracting him, holding him down....none with really satisfactory results.....

Praline eggs....nyum nyum nyum smile

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 30-Mar-13 07:55:10

If I tell off DD2 she will scrunch her face <very sad face>, cry and repeat "me love mama" on a loop... confused
How do I deal with that? Can they do emotional manipulation so young? or if she really thinking I don't love her anymore if I tell her off?

Any wise idea?

ScienceRocks Sat 30-Mar-13 08:06:35

IC, eye drop tips here

Mous, that sounds tough sad

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Wed 03-Apr-13 05:05:43

Oh no! the thread is broken! grin

StoneBaby Wed 03-Apr-13 09:26:58

I'm here!! I had a busy weekend with my mum over and a busy back to work yesterday.

How are you mous?

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Wed 03-Apr-13 11:17:35

So so, it is scary to go back without plans. Living in the middle of nowhere (a very wet nowhere) has never been on top of my priorities, trying my best not to let it show too much for DD1's sake.
Glad you problem got solve SB

StoneBaby Wed 03-Apr-13 13:23:36

<hugs>, wine, and thanks to you mous

stoofadoof Wed 03-Apr-13 20:28:00


NK2b1f2 Thu 04-Apr-13 10:11:56

Lurking. Can't touch type on a German keyboard. The z and y are reversed and there are extra letters (üöä)

StoneBaby Thu 04-Apr-13 11:46:11

NK got the same problem when using my mum laptop - it's a azerty keyboard and the number needs to be used as a capital letter!!!

rainbowweaver Fri 05-Apr-13 02:19:35

<waves> am currently being inspired by The Idle Parent here it's given me a carte Blanche to laze on the sofa....

Some more similar links here en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_parenting

rainbowweaver Fri 05-Apr-13 02:23:40

On eating, DD's thrown up the last couple of days after having what we thought were satisfactory meals but not huge. Triggered she said by coughing. Turns out that when she doesn't want to eat she is actually quite full. smile. So these days she does sometimes go without dinner if she doesn't feel like it. Or dinner is a simple pasta with olive oil, and nothing else for her.

She normally makes up for not eating dinner by having a large breakfast and lunch the next day.

NK2b1f2 Fri 05-Apr-13 13:17:42

I'm a big fan of The Idle Parent grin

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 05-Apr-13 14:05:36

Rainbow does it class letting a 3 yo hoovering the living room while I am here as idle parenting? grin <who can resist a "peux me help mama?" with a big grin and big eyes...> The 8 yo is supervising like a little general hmm

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Fri 05-Apr-13 21:18:35

Sorry for my absence in the last couple of weeks. Our internet is extremely sporadic (I keep hijacking a neighbour's internet on my phone but DH is not pleased so mainly do it in the daytime!) and it's very difficult to post on MN on my phone. In addition, as you've seen on facebook, I'm utterly worn out and worn down and don't want to bore you all any more. At the moment, I don't have very much positive to say, other than I start my two day a week contract next week (but I know I''m not really fit to be there at the moment and I'm wondering if it is braver to go and get on with it or to admit defeat for a bit).

I've just caught up with the last three pages on here and I'm sorry so many of you have been having a hard time one way or the other. I wonder if HVs are aware what a high percentage of people seem to struggle with two LOs? Could it be because we are educated women who think a lot? I do think that the mums I know who seem to be in a constant love affair with parenting are perhaps just a teeny bit less aware of the wider picture and therefore worry less, relax more and consequently enjoy it all more. This could be complete crap, but just a random theory I'm quietly developing.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend with helpful husbands, peaceful nights and some time for yourselves. Scones my husband generally doesn't offer to give me time off but when I say I'm going out and he's having the boys, he is more than happy. Just tell him!! I will be taking my own advice this weekend for the first time in a long time. He has tried to timetable me in for a two hour break and I've said I can't promise to be back by then!

I'll be back next time the internet decides to work and I have more positive notes to bring smile.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 06-Apr-13 18:21:41

Yeah! 1st gramatically correct sentence for DD2 "Sister, I need that, Ok?". She also made a friend in the park and played for hours (literally) with her.
Slowly getting there smile

rainbowweaver Sat 06-Apr-13 18:47:12

smile can only aspire to those heights of idleness mous ! We went to the Vyne today, they had a new play area based loosely on The Lord of the rings. dD enjoyed hunting for dragons and searching for the ring. Left DH at home as he was grumpy, yet another tip from the idle parent! :D

NK2b1f2 Sat 06-Apr-13 19:05:11

Very idle parent here too :-) Spent considerable time in bed reading a book to the end while the girls ran around the house helping their grandma with various things. They both kneaded bread dough and made rolls for dinner. Then dd2, to my mother's surprise, laid the table for us using the correct amount of plates and put knifes and forks out correctly, plus little desert bowls and spoons. I think she's a smart cookie! Or else very good at observing where things go and copying us.

rainbowweaver Sun 07-Apr-13 03:47:07

Reading a whole book in a day?! <sigh> I can't remember when I last did that envy. Apparently if you decide to lie in bed till 12noon, your children might make you tea in bed - though may need to be 6 or older! grin

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sun 07-Apr-13 05:42:54

CP how the HV visit went?

<hugs> to all, it seems to be a difficult time for many.

SconesForTea Sun 07-Apr-13 08:08:26

Hi everyone, we had a frantically busy Easter weekend but very enjoyable. My favourite day was Good Friday, when I travelled solo by train (bliss) to sing in my Gran's old choir with my Dad. It was so good not to have DCs for the whole day. Really improved my mood grin

survival funny you should say that about us all being thinkers. I was showing DH our FB thread about jobs/qualifications and saying how bizarre it is that we have 3 PhDs among only 10 or so. I do wonder if it contributes to dissatisfaction; but then we're not all SAHMs. But I can only imagine the stresses associated with combining WOHM and motherhood (not parenthood, as fathers seem to cope fine hmm).

Mous when is your move taking place? Courage. It could all be fine. The sun came out yesterday, and is out again this morning smile

NK whoa your DD2 setting the table is extremely impressive. I don't think DD1 would have a clue beyond plates and perhaps forks (which she now declines to use since she regressed when DD2 started eating).

I idle parent as much as possible. They do bug me to play though. I would honestly rather do the housework than pretend play (and frequently do).

Right, have to get breakfast. No more idling for me!

SconesForTea Sun 07-Apr-13 08:09:35

Oh and Mous that is fab on the grammatically correct sentence grin Yay!

ClimbingPenguin Sun 07-Apr-13 08:35:40

though i think (at least for me) a lot of the over thinking is because we want to break the pattern of things repeating themselves i.e.avoid bringing our children up the way we were. Worth a bit less contentment on our part I think.

ClimbingPenguin Sun 07-Apr-13 08:36:12

HV went fine smile

ScienceRocks Sun 07-Apr-13 16:50:13



Been to Cornwall for a few days - three nights of sharing a room with both children. First night was awful - kids weren't too bad, but DD did a lot of coughing (in her sleep) which kept me and DH awake, then I couldn't get comfortable on my sister's firm mattress, then DS wouldn't resettle.....Second night was pretty good (various changes, including decamping to another room were put into place!), third night not great as DS was wakeful again and not wanting to settle in the early hours.
But otherwise, it was a bit of a sanity saver - my DSis is one of those made-to-be-a-mother types with four kids who are all lovely and fab with DD and DS - her togetherness as a parent (and my DBIL's) rubs off a bit, I think!

And DD has been properly phobic about the wind, but by Wed pm, she was outside without a coat and fine about it (back to being phobic the next day, though...<sigh>)

End of school hols for DH tomorrow - probably just as well as DD has been winding him up ever tighter, I think he needs a bit of space from her.

DS hasn't been quite his sunny self these last couple of days - I'm pretty sure he's teething, his top gum seems rather inflamed and I can see the white beneath it. Looks like three or four are all on their way at once, which would explain it. He settled down after a wee dose of ibuprofen this evening, poor mite.

I'm pretty much better now, thankfully!!

Very impressed with how qualified everyone is and the range of interesting jobs people have/have had. What an impressive bunch we are!

ClimbingPenguin Sun 07-Apr-13 20:26:33

Roo just broke! I had a very upset DD. I have safety pinned it together for tonight and ordered a new one.

StoneBaby Mon 08-Apr-13 09:12:24

CP oh no. How is DD taking it? DS would be devastated if his Jake-Henry was to break, but saying this he was more that happy to stuff it through the letter box at the pub on Saturday grin

NK2b1f2 Mon 08-Apr-13 14:28:55

Considering the logistics and financial implications of leaving dh... (We are attempting DIY together. Enough said!)

StoneBaby Mon 08-Apr-13 14:47:24

NK you got me to worry until I read the rest of your comment grin

ClimbingPenguin Mon 08-Apr-13 15:04:44

well Roo is badly stitched back together, new arrives tomorrow am.

I just wanted to say DS has only been waking once a night grin. Technically he has slept through a couple of times as those nights we woke at 10, then stirred at 6.

My body has taken a little while to adjust to being able to sleep but now is trying to make up for it. DD woke 12:14, 01:14, 2:14 and then a couple of times afterwards but I was too out of it so by the time I bolted upright, DH was on his way. I think the upset of Roo-gate led to a disturbed night for her.

Took DCs to a farm this morning. This is my last proper week of SAHM so hoping to do something nice everyday. (Next week I am at my mum's and the week after I start work). Idea's welcome. I never took them to London on my own as with DS's leg I didn't feel comfortable with it. Not sure if I have left it too late now. Will have a gander at prices.

Hoorah at DS sleeping through, CP! Let's hope he keeps the habit up as you stat work!

DD has LOVED nursery the last couple of days - and been doing her Number Twos without too much fuss. All very promising. The wind phobia is still there, but I can usually cajole her through it - unless the wind is quite strong.

DS has been much more settled the last couple of days - his gums look less inflamed, although the teeth aren't quite through. I've managed to put him down awake as well (recently he's been zonked out thanks to poor nap maths) which made for a fair bit of protesting on nights 1 and 2, but none whatsoever tonight - just a bit of fidgeting, then off to sleep. It's cut the night wakings too, although he still wakes three times. Stuffy nose is the main culprit at the moment, although saline nasal spray seems to be helping. I'm hoping he'll have built up some better sleep habits in time for the 8-10 month regression after a few weeks of being more wakeful (mostly due to indigestion thanks to his increasing enthusiasm for solid food - and his cold and stuffy nose).

Arf at the DIY bickering, NK!

ClimbingPenguin Tue 09-Apr-13 20:39:02

well he is teething, he spent half of last night awake <yawn> but there is hope!

<runs off as it's a no laptop night>

stoofadoof Tue 09-Apr-13 22:14:00

<quick wave>

NK2b1f2 Wed 10-Apr-13 07:44:04

<waves back at stoof>

StoneBaby Wed 10-Apr-13 10:22:04

Waves back. I feel awful. A mix of nauseas and tommy aches. But I'm at work as DH think I'm doing a fuss angry

StoneBaby Wed 10-Apr-13 14:26:57

How quickly does one get implantation pain? I'm cramping and start been slightly excited. hmm

SconesForTea Wed 10-Apr-13 14:33:55

Ooh FX SB. I got implantation bleeding at about 10 days post conception with my two. If you're feeling unwell though, cramping could be your guts rather than your womb sad I don't think you would feel nausea from pg at this stage. It doesn't start until 6 weeks or so.

StoneBaby Wed 10-Apr-13 14:57:05

With DS I had nausea at 2 weeks. No counting my chickens but it's another ache and it doesn't fit with the other ones

Bearcrumble Wed 10-Apr-13 21:59:50

Fingers crossed sb. I got implantation pain/weirdness about a week after the sex with DD.

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Thu 11-Apr-13 00:02:02

Midnight wave from Warwickshire!

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Thu 11-Apr-13 06:17:27

FX SB I did had nausea the 1st week after conception with DD2 hmm

NK2b1f2 Thu 11-Apr-13 10:38:03

dd2 is having a difficult time at the moment and keeps asking if she could please be a baby again. She doesn't like it that turning on the tears will no longer get her the desired effect ie she gets her way because she's a baby. She also finds it hard to accept 'no' and doesn't think it applies to her. Up to now I have never really had to tell her off for anything, but now she is getting very independent, adventurous and cheeky she gets a fair bit of telling off especially if she ignores several 'no's. Then she is furious that her full blown stroppy tantrum doesn't get the desired result either! It's a hard life being 3.... wink. dd1 also finds it hard to accept that her sister is now almost as articulate as she is and will no longer 'obey' her. Plus she gets teased mercilessly and takes it personally to be ribbed by a three year old!
Sigh. Can't wait for the girls to go back to school on Monday because they drive me insane with their constant bickering. Everything seems to be a competition at the moment.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Thu 11-Apr-13 13:50:27

DD2 is ill. All she wants is "mama's belly" hmm nobody is ever going back in there

She has been content to sleep on me though. She is very hot and sleepy. Hope it is just a virus.

rainbowweaver Thu 11-Apr-13 15:24:10

I feel like your DD2. Suddenly have a fever of over 39 C today and all I want to do is sleep....

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Thu 11-Apr-13 18:17:05

<hugs rainbow too>
I have seen dd2's throat, my bet is on strep throat, funny how the school all ask us 3 days ago to have a swab and a all clear before it starts again on monday hmm could they just have said they had an epidemic instead and to look out

rainbowweaver Fri 12-Apr-13 17:37:25

Thanks mous smile. Fever now down to just over normal temp, and my brain has started functioning again. Goodness at 40 C your eyes just close down on you and your brain goes very woolly, so I now know what our LOs went through. Hope your DD2 feeling better too today.

rainbowweaver Fri 12-Apr-13 17:39:35

NK funny enough DH and I had a chat about whether we allow DD to be a baby too much. Normally she's very independent, but when tired she likes to regress to babyhood.

Get well soon everyone!

I'm enjoying a plague-free house - for the moment - goodness knows, those times when we're ALL healthy are rare!

DD is a total convert to nursery now, which is great. Even on Day Two of Needing To Go and only a short power nap, she enjoyed herself thoroughly this afternoon and is already looking forward to the next session. Wind phobia continues, but hopefully the warmer weather will help her get over it.
She's on pretty good form generally though - apart from the usual phobias, but they aren't interfering with things too badly at the moment.

Yesterday DD took a tumble of the arm of the sofa and hit her head. She yelled for a few moments, then shouted "I haven't got a bruise!" when I looked and said "oh dear, a little colourful bruise on your forehead", then immediately stopped crying and asked "Can I see it in the mirror? What colour is it?" When told it was red and green she was thoroughly satisfied. "My favourite colours!"

NK2b1f2 Fri 12-Apr-13 22:02:44

IC Sounds like you have a future doctor on your hands there... grin Clumsy dd2 will now just come to me and say quite matter of factly 'I actually hurt myself' ('Actually' being her new favourite word, as well as 'tiny weeny' instead of teeny weeny)

NK2b1f2 Sun 14-Apr-13 22:39:21

Help, I am falling apart. Any one else finding their body giving up? I had bad SPD when expecting dd2 and it seems to have come back. Lay down with dd1 earlier to read bedtime stories and found myself struggling to get up again. My back had totally seized. Also suddenly have problems again with an old knee injury, so have to be really careful walking up and down stairs. My shoulders and neck are permanently tense from carrying small children around (who now fail to understand they are not quite so small any longer bit still want to be carried occasionally). As for my brain... Oh well.

rainbowweaver Sun 14-Apr-13 23:12:55

My back's been giving me gip. Several twinges in the last 3 years.then a coughing fit put it out. confused

On a completely different topic, someone sent me a free book on the kindle on the 5 love languages www.5lovelanguages.com/ gist is marriage troubles etc due to empty "love tank". "Love tank" fills if emotional needs met. However if wrong love language used for the individuals, then couples not in sync. If however couples use the right language for their partner then both parties have full tanks. Full tanks mean happy people who are more inclined to meet each others' needs, therefore virtuous cycle.

Happy to forward....!

rainbowweaver Sun 14-Apr-13 23:22:37

Incidentally have been experimenting the last 2 days to see if it works, o far o good but too soon to tell yet as whole family have come down with my fever....

Ah NK, that's rubbish....hope it gets better soon x

Likewise, get well soon Family rainbowweaver

NK2b1f2 Tue 16-Apr-13 21:01:06

IC Glad your dd has now settled into nursery. Is she still doing afternoons or have you taken up the offer of a morning session?
dd2 looked a little apprehensive on her first day back after three weeks off but was smiley when I picked her up. Her first comment was 'I had to do lots and lots of running!' It sounded like an accusation and her (new) teacher felt she had to explain they had had PE (which I knew) wink. dd2's second comment was 'I actually had a very lovely day in nursery today' (small sigh). She still likes it, phew grin

rainbowweaver Tue 16-Apr-13 23:39:43

Thanks ic DD's not kept very much food down the last few days, nor eaten very much. The coughing seems to trigger her gag reflex sad. Not drunk much liquids either. We're pretty worried.

ClimbingPenguin Wed 17-Apr-13 08:55:11

Ice lollies? sad

SconesForTea Wed 17-Apr-13 10:10:52

rainbow sad How is DD today?

That love languages book looks interesting but I am a Luddite and don't have a kindle blush One of the (parenting) books I am reading suggested saying 5 positive things to your children/spouse each day. I am managing with DD1 I think (no problems with DD2) but stuggling with DH. I find myself thanking him for going to work/providing for us/doing the weekly shop. He is starting to give me funny looks.

NK great that DD2 is still loving nursery, same for you IC.

DD1 went to nursery without tears yesterday (hurrah!) but I am expecting a struggle this afternoon. I am considering taking her out of nursery one session a week, to go to a CM with DD2. I wonder if it will suit her better; the CM works with another CM and they look after 6 children in total together. I need one afternoon a week to work (need more really but it's a start) and it would be simpler to drop them both at the same childcare instead of DD1 to nursery and DD2 to CM. It depends if the nursery will agree to splitting the EYEE entitlement.

NK I too have permanently stiff back, neck and shoulders. Neck/shoulder pain so bad I can't sleep on one side/look in certain directions. It is the hurly burly of childcare/buggy pushing, and also I'm sure a lot of stress atm. Ignoring in the hope it will magically get better.

Mous hope DD2 is better too.

DD1 likes to pretend to be a baby all the time, I assumed it was because she wants to be a baby like DD2. She crawls a lot, insists on a nappy for poos (I am not fighting that fight at the moment), won't use cutlery to eat any more etc. I don't care really. So long as she is behaving relatively well.

One of the parenting books I bought lately - 123 Magic - is really good. Highly recommended. I don't think I'm doing it properly, need to read it again, but we are already having results.

NK2b1f2 Wed 17-Apr-13 15:18:54

Scones Oh dear, I am not doing well with dh at the moment either. Does it count to NOT say something nasty or spiteful? blush

ClimbingPenguin Wed 17-Apr-13 16:39:20

Me and DH are having some minor issues, we're going on a marriage course in the fall though. I think now we're starting to get some time together we've realised we've been busy since dd was born. Now, just trying to get communicating and spend some time together again.

How's she doing rainbow?

NK we're on the list for a morning session, but still doing three afternoons at the mo. Ironically, that seems to be suiting DD just fine now!!

So, I seem to have helped DD cure her wind phobia with a combination of placebo effect and play therapy...thank goodness, it was getting to be a major drag...literally, at times when DD was screaming to be carried, but I couldn't comply because I was already carrying DS or pushing him in the pram...

So, with much solemnity, honey and glycerin cough medicine was purchased from Boots - very strong stuff, DD was only allowed a small amount and had to say "I like the wind...the wind is my friend...the wind is fun" before she took it (so I guess a bit of amateur CBT too!!). Then we looked at Shirley Hughes' "Thing I Like" which has a poem called "I Like The Wind" and lots of illustrations of a little girl playing happily on windy days. After that, we played a wind game, which basically involved us both blowing at each other's faces and hair and laughing manically.

Then I opened the windows wide so the wind blew in and DD decided it was hilarious when it made her hair move about. Then I said it was time to go outside and DD - who usually has her coat buttoned to the top and holds her hood over her face with both hands - insisted she leave off her coat entirely and giggled every time the wind blew. The first thing she wanted to do at nursery was go out into the garden "I don't want to wear my coat, Mummy!"
When we got home, she played outside for ages and didn't want to come in for supper.

She had a wibble this morning, but a bit more "medicine" and a bit more of the blowing game sorted her out and we've had loads of time outside and she's been fine. Phew. I was starting to get concerned about the lack of exercise and Vitamin D. Here's hoping it lasts.....

NK2b1f2 Wed 17-Apr-13 21:15:51

IC I can see some future career options emerging here for you. You really seem to have the knack for helping your dd and I am sure there are lots of other children who would respond to this as well smile
Now I need to think up something to help dd2 relax a bit more and learn to tell dream from reality. I find it very hard to deal with her complaints about an imaginary slight by her sister that happened in her dream, at 3 in the morning... This morning at 5 she was very cross with me when I refused to take her into town to get a new balloon because the old one 'broke'. It takes ages to calm her down and get her to realise that she is in her room, it is night time, and mama would quite like to return to bed and get some sleep wink

ScienceRocks Thu 18-Apr-13 10:13:33

CP, sorry to hear that. Hope the course helps sad

IC, I agree with NK that you seem to be a whizz at sorting out your DD's issues. If you could come and stop my older DD being so damn rude, that'd be great! She was brilliant for all the holidays, now she has gone back to school she has turned into a stroppy monster. I know it's because she is using up all her good behaviour at school, but it still makes things difficult...

Scones, trying to focus on positives is a great concept. Keeping my gratitude journal has certainly made me feel better, so keep up the good work!

I don't have much to say at the moment, which is why I am a bit quiet here and on FB (other than answering the questions!). Things are piddling along ok, just a few niggles like DD1's behaviour, DD2 not being moved into the next room at nursery (long, boring story, but her best friend who is two months younger has moved "up" making DD2 the oldest by some way - literally the others are still in nappies and not talking - so I have had a word with the manager to see if changing her days will make a difference), and DH's usual erratic behaviour.

Still, the sunshine makes everything seem better!

I have some leftover banana, chocolate and Brazil nut cake if anyone wants to pop round for that and brew...

StoneBaby Thu 18-Apr-13 10:42:15

IC I may try your wind medicine

NK have you try giving your DD2 some ibuprofen before bedtime. I know this help DS brain switch off at night when he's unsettled