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Sept '08 - The one where they go out into the big bad world (well school!)

(553 Posts)
ninja Tue 29-Jan-13 12:54:25

Hi, couldn't find a new thread and there was only one message to link to one.

Hope I haven't stepped on anyones toes creating this!

Badvoc Tue 29-Jan-13 13:11:04

Hi ninja...didn't get round to it after all! smile
Thanks for new thread.

Hello shiny new thread! cheers! brew

notcitrus Tue 29-Jan-13 22:25:41

Hello! Nice title, though I'm trying to convince myself of what I told A, school is like nursery only bigger and better...

ninja Tue 29-Jan-13 22:57:15

M said to me the other day that she was looking forward to school so she could learn lots of things (she may have mentioned reading and writing!), it was said very seriously and was very sweet smile

Mediation again tomorrow to try and actually make some decisions unlike last time. Hopefully he'll be more chilled as he's just come back from holiday

How did mediation go ninja? Do you need a glass of wine before you answer that? Hope it was more productive than last time.

I thought DS1 was looking forward to school - he will love it - but out of the blue the other day said actually he doesn't want to go because he won't have enough play time. I emphasised that there is masses of play time in Reception, plus all the time at home after school. I'm sure he'll be fine <hopeful>

We need to find MrsA and direct her to this new thread! Also debi and debs and starlight and kagey and who else have I forgotten...?

And ILTMIMI and meglet!!!

ninja Fri 01-Feb-13 13:23:17

Mediation rubbish and depressing, agreed very little and they said it's the last one. Trying not to feel down about it hmm basically among other things when he goes skiing he's refusing to let me see them days before and after so in a stretch of over 3 weeks I would only see them 4 nights, in fact in a whole month I'd just see them 6!

When he went away without them he had extra nights before and after.

Luckily I have the passportswink

Debs75 Fri 01-Feb-13 19:49:40

Found you allgrin

Ninja would it be worth going to court and pinning twatbadger down to specific times and dates? I know court should be the last resort but it seems he thinks he can do what he likes and he expects you to just let him It would be restrictive on you both but it might be fairer.
Maybe just forget to pack the passports when he takes them so you have an excuse to see them for an extra day.
How are the dd's handling it all? I would of hated not to see my mum for nearly a month at that age.

Robyn is definitely ready for school, pity she won't be going until September. She does love nursery atm and her progress report was brilliant. She is on target and where she needs to be to start school now. I will miss her, I like having Wednesdays with both girls to play together.
We've just worked out that when Lucy starts school DD1 will start Unishock. September 2014 will be a sad month in our house

Badvoc Fri 01-Feb-13 19:55:16

Was going to suggest that too, ninja.
Debs beat me to it! smile
Seriously. I think it's the only way now. You have been more than reasonable.
What a shit day I have had...mum very poorly. Gp and paramedic.

ninja Fri 01-Feb-13 22:08:46

I'm going to e-mail the solicitor and see if anything can be done. At the moment it's just the skiing in March that's the major sticking point and I don't know if anything can be agreed before that. There might always be one more thing though.

The thing is, he won't agree out of court, it would cost 10's of thousands maybe and where would we be? It's really not hard - we have the most important things sorted, we both love the kids, can't he just stop trying to hurt me.

I seriously hate him at the moment and wish he were ill and I don't like myself for that.

I don't like that I feel like I'm nitpicking all the arguments 'cos I can't just relax and trust he'll do the same.

I don't kile that I've spent almost every waking hour today trying to work out how to 'solve' this

I hate feeling stressed every time I have to answer an e-mail, speak about it.

I'm just sick of it sad

Sorry - it's so minor really and I'm sorry to go on. Trust me if I thought court were a quick fix I'd do it, but I know ExH it would just make him more difficult

ninja its not minor that you're going to go that long without seeing your precious girls, and its not minor that he's being so hurtful and its not minor that this is causing you to be so stressed so please don't apologise! I have no advice to offer but I think you're brilliant in doing the best for your girls and holding your head high manly pat on back <great big hug>

Badvoc Sat 02-Feb-13 14:44:22

It's not minor ninja.
He is bvu and doing it to hurt you.
And that means he is a terrible human being.

Meglet Sat 02-Feb-13 20:21:16

I'm here!

Badvoc Sat 02-Feb-13 21:44:14

Hi meg < waves>

ninja Sat 02-Feb-13 22:23:55

Thanks, feeling better today smile it's right, though, that after 8 days away skiing with the kids he'll be shattered and have loads to do and tbh would probably prefer a day alone and would be keeping the kids just to spite me hmm

I felt better after I wrote a response ( not sent yet, thought I'd sleep on it) and I've also found a different way of explaining the situation which agrees with the way he sees things but allows me to see the kids when they get back.

Had a lovely day with my sister and kids today and have nice plans for tomorrow. I'm sure I plan more for them now I don't see them so often. Not sure if that's good or bad.

Maebh has been to see a speech therapist. She has problems with her 'k's and her 'g's and some others. She went for an assessment in November which she loved and the lady was great. The lady yesterday was not so good. She clearly also had a problem with germs and shouted at M not to touch the cards which she'd asked her to point at because she had a cold hmm . M wasn't that well behaved and played up and the therapist tried to suggest that as she didn't have the concentration and listening skills underpinning her speech she couldn't work on the sounds themselves and offered to refer us for behavioural therapy.

While I agree that she can have her moments, she'd generally been a lot better lately and I think she was being asked to do something quite strange. She has another appointment next week so we'll see how it goes.

Meglet Sun 03-Feb-13 21:48:03

ninja I think it's the speech therapist who has issues, not your DD who has behavioural problems! I'm dreadfully uptight about germs and when it rubs off on the dc's they play up for me.

We're all ok-ish here. DS is plodding along nicely at school, DD is as feral / cute as ever and the house is slightly untidy.

Meglet Mon 04-Feb-13 14:21:00

What size are everyone's DD's feet? DD is now a 10, I'm sure that must be big for her age. She's average height and her feet don't look that big though. I wonder if she's about to get a growth spurt, her legs are looking a bit thinner than usual.

Badvoc Mon 04-Feb-13 14:33:42

Toby's feet were a 10.5 but he has grown.
Taking him for new shoes next week.

Badvoc Mon 04-Feb-13 14:34:11

....and he is in 4-5 clothes.
And they Aren't big either!!

ninja Mon 04-Feb-13 19:47:10

Maebh is a 10 - although possibly bigger now, must get her checked. Her feet are almost as wide as they are long though which is a challenge!

I generally buy her 5-6 clothes as she's quite tall and solid (not fat though)

Meglet Tue 05-Feb-13 21:36:24

ah, thanks. It seemed really big for a 4yo girl, maybe it isn't after all smile. Her dad was a size 12 so I assume both the DC's will have fairly big feet.

ninja Wed 06-Feb-13 00:00:44

The speech therapy thing gets better.

They've contacted preschool - 8.40 on Monday morning asking about m's behaviour ( which is fine) and telling them that her speech is age inappropriate because she would only answer in single words (because she didn't like the woman and didn't want to play) and .....

Telling them they should refer me onto a parenting course as she was really worried! They refused smile they said she sounded really odd

I have another appointment on Friday and if M is well ill take her. If the speech therapist is as difficult as last time I might have to report it as I'm a little concerned.

Oh well -

Debs75 Wed 06-Feb-13 08:52:47

Robyn is a size 9 but they were from summer so she must have grown by now.

Ninja she does sound a bit weird. Has she never worked with a child who feels unsecure in her prescence so doesn't respond? Surely she should know that 1 meeting with a child is not enough to form an opinion about the family.

ninja Wed 06-Feb-13 09:12:54

I know debs and the thing is she was exemplary at her initial assessment - you'd have thought if there were any concerns that they would have said then.

Badvoc Wed 06-Feb-13 10:01:34

I would report that salt anyway tbh ninja.
She sounds like a loon hmm

notcitrus Wed 06-Feb-13 10:32:41

Salt sounds bonkers! You'd think with all the people who want to work with kids, that the ones who don't would be filtered out, but clearly not.

A's feet were 10 last March and his sandals last summer were 11. Dn's new shoes last week were 10.5, and he's 6 inches taller!

DS1's feet are only a 7.5, and he's in age 3-4 clothes with the tops of trousers still rolled over, he's so tiny!
DS2 however...giant child. The 3 year gap is closing!

Debs75 Thu 07-Feb-13 21:32:44

Robyn is now a 10G. She has grown a full size in 7 months. Lucy managed a full size but still a dinkyish size 6.5. She is fast catching Robyn up in clothes, she barely fits in her 2-3 stuff so I have got all Robyn's old 3-4 clothes, which Robyn still fits in at a push.

Badvoc Fri 08-Feb-13 10:03:08

I think Toby is an 11G
Well...it rained sad And they broke one of the glass roof panels sad
Am fed up.
I shall have a bath and man up smile

Oh man I really do have the smallest child in the world don't I?!
badvoc have you had the roof panel repaired? Poor you sad
The morning sickness has now properly properly kicked in. Bleugh. And zzzz. Only another 32 weeks to go... <weak smile>

Badvoc Mon 11-Feb-13 13:38:07

Ah carrie, sorry to hear that. Ginger and lemonade?
Ds1 was tiny! Always the smallest in baby group, school etc. he is now a strapping nearly 10 year old do don't worry just yet smile
The roof should be done tomorrow (fingers crossed)
Mum has had her op and is now back on the ward.
Thank you for all your kind thoughts x

Meglet Mon 11-Feb-13 21:14:37

oh yuck carrie sad. I hope the sickness isn't too bad or for too long. I feel my gag reflex twitch just thinking about what I went through with DD.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Mon 11-Feb-13 21:28:00

I've found you smile

M takes a 12.5 shoe blush he's also starting to grow out of his 4-5 trousers. They're on the verge of being ankle flappers, so I'm hoping he doesn't grow anymore until it's shorts weather so I don't have to buy trousers that are only worn for a short while.

How's your dm Badvoc?

Meglet Mon 11-Feb-13 21:43:23

ILTMIMI I encourage mine to wear their wellies when we go out if we're in an ankle flapper jeans stage. Covers up the gap smile. Here's hoping for a warm summer so they can live in shorts for a while.

ninja Mon 11-Feb-13 22:08:49

Hi ILTMIMI smile wow - that's an impressive shoe size!

Sorry you're feeling rubbish Carrie

Badvoc hope your Mum is OK.

All quiet here at the moment, which is nice! Looking forward to half term next week - we're going on a barge for a couple of days smile

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Tue 12-Feb-13 07:24:40

Going on a barge sounds lovely ninja smile DH and I were talking about this years holiday last night. I think we've narrowed it down to Brittany. We now need to roughly decide where we want to visit then we'll work out whereabouts in Brittany we should stay. Any recommendations for things to visit and places to stay are welcome :-)

I like the wellies idea Meglet!

Looking at the title of the thread makes me gulp. Does anyone else's dc have a daytime nap? M probably has about 3 or 4 a week and without them his behaviour goes downhill rapidly. I know there's lots of time until September, but if things don't change I can see him going part time for a while - and he is probably the oldest in his year confused

Badvoc Tue 12-Feb-13 08:15:12

Iltmimi - my eldest had a nap every day til he startedcreception!
He was fine.
Mum is ok, thank you. Saw her last nightband she is in pain, but had eaten.
They were just sorting out some oromorph as we left.
Half term already here and as its ash weds tomorrow i wont be posting for whike as i trying to give up MN for lent....younare all too addictive! smile x

Debs75 Wed 13-Feb-13 22:03:31

ILTMIMI Robyn knocked her daytime naps off at just 2. She is just not tired enough to have a nap. Even Lucy at 2.6 doesn't nap every day, about twice a week. You are so luckygrin

DS1 doesn't nap any more, although he really needs some quiet television down time after lunch or he really suffers. I think he's just going to be in bed by 6pm every evening once he starts school!
shock at ILTMIMI's DS having feet a full five sizes bigger than my DS's, I guess they're the opposite ends of the growth charts in the red book!
I've just shaved my legs for the first time in a long time. I have a lot of plasters on my legs now blush

ninja Wed 13-Feb-13 23:11:05

M hasn't napped for years sad I remember my nephew was still napping when he started school. I collected him once and he fell asleep when he got home upside down on a chair!

notcitrus Wed 13-Feb-13 23:23:34

A naps if in a car or train after about 3pm, otherwise just has a bit of playing very quietly (though no longer insisting everyone has to be quiet because his toys are sleeping and he's just lying down looking after them, honest).

So I figure hr'll be fine until 3.30 - he manages at nursery until 6pm. It's adorable watching him and dd playing together, especially at nursery just before pickup time, when A and best friend get to show off to the admiring audience of their 1yo siblings and a couple bemused toddlers.
Makes me happier being at work, which is actually fine, nice team, shame about the general organisation.

A is still in 2-3 trousers despite the huge feet, but I think he's growing again as he's walking into door handles and falling over a lot again. Met friend recently with ds few weeks younger who is well over a foot taller!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Thu 14-Feb-13 08:21:27

I think I need to resign myself to ds having an early dinner and bedtime for the first few school terms. My friends ds who started last September has been the same. He's in bed by 6 and wakes up at 8 the next morning! He also naps at the weekend. But his moods have been filthy - I'm not looking forward to that.

My legs haven't seen a razor for a fair few months blush

Happy Valentines day one and all smile

Random question - at your local swimming pool, what are the adult to child ratios? Got turned away from our new local pool today because you have to be 1:1 with any under 3s, which meant in their mind I couldn't also supervise my super sensible 4yo. So we drove across town to the old pool who were more than happy to take us - one adult to two under 8s.
This means that once we have four children, we can't go swimming at the new pool as a family until the youngest is over 4, which is madness. Just wondering if IABU before I write them a letter suggesting they review their policy!

ninja Fri 15-Feb-13 13:22:33

In one of my local pools it's 2 under 8 (only one of whom can be under 5). The other is one to one for under 5's do worse than yours! Most of them over 8's don't need supervision so you wouldn't have to wait as long as you think.

Often pools will have mum and baby sessions with different rules where you can take both.

Think it's not that uncommon to be honest. Sorry hmm

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Fri 15-Feb-13 15:56:07

I don't know what the exact ratio's are but I know that dh takes both boys (4 & 1) on is own. Swimming is the one parenting job I don't do blush

Wow ninja that is even more strict!
My theory is that the new pool is a collaboration between the council and the university, and you can join the gym as a member, but as a concession they let members of the public come on a pay-as-you system. However they have made the rules and the session times for the public so inconvenient that they're putting people off on purpose to keep the exclusivity for their members. I went to an open swim one evening, but non-members couldn't use the lanes, so I was weaving in and out of people in the open half of the pool and only did half the number of lengths I usually would, and I won't go back.
Telling DH's parents our news last night went well, they were neither massively shocked nor surprised, remarkably matter of fact really!
How have everyone's weekends been?

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Mon 18-Feb-13 13:06:46

What reaction were you expecting Carrie? grin

We've had a fab weekend. Exhausting, but good. I had a weekend of your future reality Carrie, my niece and nephew came to stay smile

On Friday night my sister, neice and I went to see Brendan Cole's latest show at the theatre. I'm not a huge Brendan fan, but his shows are good. There were lots of woman of a certain age throwing themselves at him <cringe>

It's half term week here this week. I'll be a frazzled heap by the end of the week. Frazzled, but happy. I enjoy the holidays smile

Meglet Mon 18-Feb-13 13:14:30

carrie I think our pool is ok, I first took the dc's on their own when DD was still 1yo (DS would have been 3) and they were fine about it.

Don't get me started on how they fill the timetable to capacity so the only way your child is ever going to learn to swim is if you pay for lessons hmm. Casual swimming seems to be being squeezed out these days.

Just been to the gym and the GP's, I'm being referred for an ASD assessment smile pity they didn't do it 30yrs ago. Mum had to get involved and contact my GP but I think a formal diagnosis and support would help me........then we can work on DD confused.

ninja Mon 18-Feb-13 22:09:57

Wow, meglet - that'll be interesting. Tell us what the testing involves. I think I've mentioned before that exh always used it as a criticism of me, but tbh I think there's some element of truth there. It would make sense of a lot of things.

What kind of help do you think you might get?

notcitrus Wed 20-Feb-13 00:09:27

It's 1:1 under 3 here, so neither child has been swimming yet. A now at least wants to learn to swim like his cool cousin, and dd is a total water baby, giggling when her hair is washed! But MrNC is allergic to chlorine and throws up in swimming pools so can't come with, and while there is a creche on weekday mornings, they changed the policy just before dd was born to say babies had to be at least 1 to be left in it, and the learner pool is in use for school lessons so no use for us (there's one lane for adult swimming with school lessons on either side).

meglet I filled in some forms recently for researchers looking at people with mental health issues to see if they had undiagnosed ASD or ADHD, and then as my results on the AQ showed strong correlation with ASD (total unsurprise), went along and spent a couple hours answering questions and doing tests.

The tests results suggested I don't have ASD, but given that diagnosed-autistic auntie-to-A can easily do what they were testing to see if I couldn't (don't want to give details that might affect any results), I think they were only looking for very-stereotypical male AS people - and apparently have found quite a lot. They were also looking at prison populations and places like Broadmoor, not just random GP lists.

What was interesting though was their finding that high AQ scores (the AQ test is online) has a very high correlation with social anxiety, and they were wondering if rather than ASD-type issues causing the anxiety, it might be anxiety causing the ASD-type symptoms. Sounds conceivable.

I think getting a neuroscientist in to be experiemented on for neuroscience disconcerted them somewhat. smile dd crawled around and was charming though.

Badvoc Thu 21-Feb-13 14:50:49

I failed.
9 days if no MN is all I got to.
Hope you are all ok?
Meg...wow. He do you feel about that?
Mum ok, staples out.
Roof finally on...hurrah!
Boys fine.
Dh had the snip smile

Kagey Thu 21-Feb-13 19:40:59

Yay I found the newish thread! RL has been a bit hectic so MN took a backseat. Dd1 is a 9 footwise and is just below average height. I'm a shortie so if she's taller than me, I'll be pleased for her (hopefully dd2 will be taller too). Erins in age 2-3 trousers tho for the length and waist.

My 30 day shred went well, and so I'm ditching the gym to do DVDs at home ~ weight wise I've lost about a stone but clothes are getting too big which was more my goal. Still a long way to go!

I'm being made permanent in my job and I'm really pleased; I've been agency for over a year, and it'll mean more money and no timesheets!

Anyway enough about me - congrats carrie that's fab news!!

Meglet Thu 21-Feb-13 22:09:10

badvoc 9 days is 8 days more than I've ever managed grin.

A potential ASD diagnosis would be helpful, if only to confirm what I've suspected for many years. The centre in southampton that deals with it (and I will hopefully be going to) offers support to adults post diagnosis. Will be interesting to see how it pans out, no idea when it will happen yet.

Congrats on the permanent job kagey!

ILTMIMI I think I was expecting the in-laws to be either squeaky excited overjoyed at news of new grandchild, or total horror at us having four children. Matter of fact was not a response I was ready for!

Thank you all for making me feel better about the swimming pool ratios thing, I guess although the new pool is different to other pools in our city, they're not being totally unreasonable looking at the national picture.

DS2 is being a total monkey today. After repeated trips to the naughty step I've put him in his cot for my sanity extended time out to calm down. We're going out with friends after lunch, but the quiet morning at home isn't working out quite as I'd expected! Big kids are painting beautifully, and technically I only turned the computer on to put on a mr tumble for DS2 once I rescue him get him up but MN was just there grin

ninja Sat 23-Feb-13 08:13:52

Congratulations Carrie

Had a good trip away for a few days to visit family then on a narrow boat on a canal with a friend and his son. We didn't go far but it was good to have a change of scenery and the kids enjoyed it.

There was a bit of drama when on the last day, just before we were about to leave my friend's son was messing around and managed to fall in the canal!

I was taking the rubbish to the bins, heard a scream and thought they were playing, heard my daughter shout and ran straight back by which point she'd tried to reach him, hadn't been able to and had jumped in go rescue him! He was pretty shocked and was clinging onto her. I managed to pull them to the front of the boat and drag them in.

I'm very proud of her and also glad it wasn't me as we'd been breaking I've in the canal the day before!

They're off to Ireland with their dad now so I'm desperately trying to catch up on work, cleaning, exercise and mn of course

ninja that sounds terrifying, well done to your DD though, I presume she wasn't in danger at any point <has an awful what-could-have-happened moment> She deserves a bravery award.
Well I got DS1's feet measured in response to our recent discussion. One is still firmly a 7.5, the other is pretty much an 8. We did not buy new shoes! Realised I might not buy him any more proper Clarks shoes as he'll need school shoes for Sept, then I'll just buy cheap trainers for weekends <end of an era>
Where's good for cheap wellies that don't fall apart?

And kagey great work on the shred and weightloss, you're an inspiration to us couch potatoes!
Congrats on the job too, very well done in this economic climate wine

ninja Tue 26-Feb-13 13:20:27

Yes carrie she's a confident swimmer and we were moored up so they were close to the boat and the side. They just couldn't get out! It was the cold that was the problem!

She's really tough though and warmed up soon enough, he took a bit longer.

She's very pleased that she did it even though at the time she was saying - 'I don't like it!'

I've contacted the very local online paper so hopefully she'll get a story in there smile

Meglet Thu 28-Feb-13 21:31:29

bookmarking. I hate falling off the thread!

Badvoc Sat 02-Mar-13 17:13:22

Me too!

And I fell off too! I have had a good excuse though, been celebrating my birthday this weekend grin

So we told my parents about our baby...
Dad said absolutely nothing. Mum took a moment for it to sink in and said "oh gosh" and "oh crikey" rather a lot. The topic hasn't really come up since and that was Friday. My friends are excited for us though, and we're excited, and my parents will get used to it eventually <hopeful>

Badvoc Mon 04-Mar-13 13:32:47

Happy b day carrie! flowers
Aren't some peoples reaction to pg news odd!? smile
Well, I am delighted for you!
We have all the ingredients for a really crappy week here...ds2 has now got the virus that ds1 had/has.
And dh is away this week.
By Friday no doubt I will have it too sad
Ds2 and I are currently snuggles in bed with our tablets...I am MNing and he is looking at youtube videos of trains.
Had a couple of meetings this week which I will have to cancel sad

Badvoc Fri 08-Mar-13 13:11:29

So...have been offered a job starting in sept as a childcare assistant 3/4 mornings per week at my friends pre school.
How exciting!

notcitrus Fri 08-Mar-13 17:50:35

Hello everyone. Happy International Women's Day.
Congrats to ninjadd. And new job badvoc!
Work is very busy but quite fun. I'm even considering working 4 days rather than 3. In a few months time. Not yet. Maybe when A starts school. Anyone remember when we find out about primary schools?

Badvoc Fri 08-Mar-13 17:53:54

It's April 16th NC x

Meglet Fri 08-Mar-13 18:06:33

Is it the 16th nationwide? I've got it in my head that we (hampshire) are the end of April.

I'm off to google, hope I'm wrong! The sooner I know the better!

Meglet Fri 08-Mar-13 18:10:55

Phew, I was wrong! that's not a sentence I say often

Primary allocation date is the 16th smile. Thanks for the heads up badvoc.

Badvoc Fri 08-Mar-13 18:23:13

No worries x

I'm bricking it about applications - we got a letter from the council at the start of Feb saying they were expecting an application from this address and hadn't received one. I phoned in a total rage panic and they did have our application, it was an admin error. But still I won't relax until I see it in black and white that he's got into the school where DD is!

badvoc that's great news! Well done you!

I had the first person guess I was pg today based purely on the size of my tummy...I'm only 11+3 <weeps>

Meglet Fri 08-Mar-13 20:43:00

carrie I remember you having that crisis, it would make my pretty meltdowny too. My application number is written down but I'm still having irrational panics that I didn't do it properly.

When is your scan date?

Next Tuesday. Eeeeek!
Just been researching maternity/nursing bras using all the wonderful advice on MN. I'm a stone lighter than when I had the other DCs, and a totally different bra size, so enjoying the 'window shopping' like a first timer!

Badvoc Fri 08-Mar-13 22:02:44

Ooohhhh...exciting! smile

Meglet Sat 09-Mar-13 20:04:36

Tuesday! Doesn't it come around fast.

Have you ever tried the nursing vests? They really helped me second time round, I could layer them up with normal tops instead of a totally unfashionable bf top.

I lurrrrrve nursing vests meglet, will use them for bf again (especially as, yet again, I'll be bf over winter. Brrr) But right now I need something for my poor sore (.) (.) !

Hope you've all had a lovely mothers day. Or Moths bay as DD wrote on my card grin

Meglet Mon 11-Mar-13 10:23:12

LOl at 'moths day' grin.

DS drew a happy pritt stick in my card smile. Peculiar little child.

meglet that's so cute!

Meglet Mon 11-Mar-13 16:22:57

carrie it's on my FB page now so you can admire his masterpiece wink. He seems to be into still life these days.

Just a quick note to say we had our dating scan today - put us 2 days further ahead than we though, EDD now 22 Sept. One very active, healthy baby, two happy parents, and some over-excited siblings who now won't go to sleep!!

Meglet Tue 12-Mar-13 20:48:00

aaaw, really chuffed for you all carrie!

Meglet Thu 14-Mar-13 21:20:13


ninja Thu 14-Mar-13 22:03:31


Been skiing last week (they were skiing with exH) had a lovely time but am completely knackered sad

DD1 (who jumped in the canal) was in The Times shock she might also be on ITV day break grin

feel very relaxed about schools now - I think I'd rather not know!

Carrie - it all sounds good

Meglet - saw the Pritt Stick, why??

Meglet Fri 15-Mar-13 21:15:29

ninja I have no idea grin. I'm not sure I want to enter the mind of a 6yo boy.

Ooo, well done to your DD!!!! Keep us posted if she's on Daybreak, you'll be with her if she does it won't you?!

I've ended the week feeling fragile. DS had his 3yr allergy check up this week and there weren't any great improvements, he had to have a blood test too and was pretty upset about it. And today I learnt that one of the toddlers at DD's nursery passed away last night, I have no idea what happened. The staff were all shell shocked today and they let the parents know but said they'd send a letter out next week. The poor little boy and his poor parents. How utterly shit life can be sometimes.

That is rubbish meglet sad
I've recently heard of two people who lost babies at 19 weeks. Makes me hold my little ones even tighter and be so thankful for what we have.
DS2 fell off a bouncy castle yesterday and briefly knocked himself out. He was very pale for about an hour afterwards but wasn't sick at all, and we checked him against all the symptoms for concussion in children that we could find and he seemed ok. We went in to him several times over night and did what was recommended which was to try and rouse him, if he's ok he'll get cross with you and just try and go back to sleep, which is exactly what happened! Today he's right as rain, phew. So glad its DH who got to him first after the fall, I'd have been in pieces!

Kagey Sun 17-Mar-13 14:33:57

Happy St Patrick's day! I'm wearing green and we are having an Irish stew for dinner.

meglet sad that's so sad.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Mon 18-Mar-13 16:46:13

Oh Meglet, that poor boy and his family. It's so bloody unfair.

Congrats on the scan Carrie smile

What's all this about dd jumping in the canal ninja? confused

ninja Mon 18-Mar-13 18:44:06

this is my daughter smile They can't put her on TV now, but she may be getting a free lifesaving course.

Meglet How awful sad

I'm full of a cold/cough and shattered and I feel really guilty that I managed to let the DD's wind me up yesterday. I think we were all tired, they tried my patience and I was trying to enforce rules on screen time etc. They both said at different times things along the theme of not loving me. M said that she only liked the house when I wasn't there sad They seemed OK this morning though. Must try harder

Kagey Mon 18-Mar-13 21:51:03

Ninja your daughter is awesome!!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Tue 19-Mar-13 11:10:03

<high 5's Ninja's dd> wow, what a girl you've raised Ninja. I hope you're both v proud smile

I had M's first 'i don't love you mummy' a few weeks ago. He wanted something, I said no. Pfft.

M has been referred to an orthopaedic surgeon <gulp> His ankles roll in quite markedly so the GP has referred us. We're hoping it's going to be physio and/or orthotics rather than surgery. We shall see ......

ninja Tue 19-Mar-13 14:04:04

Thanks [proud mum emotion]

Well it's been a good day despite the horrible cold and cough.

I've won a steam cleaner here on MN - well I have to review it, but I'm so excited grin

I even had one on my Christmas Wishlist but was too embarrased to tell anyone!

Clearly this is going to revolutionise my home and life hmm well - it can only help!

I have returned! Just spent over an hour catching up with last thread and this one. I see some of you on fb, so I knew about ninja's star DD1!

Many congrats Carrie incredible news!

I've been away for a couple of reasons: 1. I was finding mn doing my head in after the termination last yr and some of the awful judgements (not on me) from some women and 2. I was spending a lot of time on a thread with DS's antenatal group and we all moved over onto a fb private group, which is so much easier than mn as you can post via mobile far more easily.

But I'm back.
Sorry exH is still a total TB ninja - can't offer anything other than sympathy.

So in Wales, we hear about our primary schools this Friday <excited>. I'm not too concerned - the council website states if you do not put a preference down, they will put your child into the nearest school, which happens to be our first choice. It's a bigger one but has good after school club and is in walking distance. 60 in reception.
2nd choice is a drive away and no after school club but this year's reception intake was 17 so I'm guessing they'll be room.
Initially I thought the smaller one would be perfect for DD as she used to be so very shy but she's not anymore (oldest in nursery now) and another mum said that a larger school means more friends if they fall out and they really make an effort with shy children.
I am proud of her. i reckon she'll be reading before September and she 'gets' words. She said the other day, 'car, that's c a r or r a c or c r a'.

She asks me to spell words all the time and can write mummy, daddy, matthew, can, van, car, tutu, nana.

DS is 15m and is so different in so many ways and he is so lovely. He is so much more independent and able. Looking back DD was a right PITA (but she has become really good company now) and he is much more chilled. he loves helping me unload dishwasher etc.

But we do have another runner. Was hoping he might be different but no, out come the reins again.

I'm still working 4 days a week and go back full time in September once DD starts reception. her last day is Tuesday 27 (or 26th?) August - a week before she starts school.
I have no idea if it's a phased start but if it is, tough shit. I work and so she needs to be in school full time from the start. I understand legally they can't refuse this. I could maybe do one or two first short days but that's it. She'll be 5 on 17 Sept so is certainly old enough.

Right will finish before you collapse with boredom. I'll try and keep up with this thread again. smile

Welcome back MrsA you have been missed!
I'm sure your DD will be fine with a full time start straight away. There are 60 per year in DD's school and she's generally quiet but has got on absolutely fine (not lost in the crowd as I had feared). Hope you get your first choice! I'm in total denial about the whole school thing, there's still DD's birthday and Easter between now and when we find out <la la la fingers in ears>

ninja envy with the steam cleaner. I asked for one for valentines day (yes really) but realised it wasn't worth it as our wood floors aren't sealed, and that's the main bit of the house that I struggle to clean.

Our new bathroom finally started yesterday. They pulled out the old coloured suite, got rid of all the shiny pink floral tiles, and smashed down the wall between the loo and bathroom to make one big room. Then at 2am DS1 appeared in our room covered in sick from head to toe. And we couldn't wash him <weep>. DH sorted him out with baby wipes, I stripped the bed, and this morning we went round to a friend's house and bathed him! Poor lad. Seems ok now, he had a very quiet day at home.

Meglet Wed 20-Mar-13 21:19:24

ninja your DD is a star! And you both look fab in the photos smile.

hello mrsA, I was wondering how you were getting on. Fingers crossed you'll get the school place you want.

I'm not sure about this steam cleaner nonsense, what's wrong with a quick going over with a baby wipe blush.

I covet a steamcleaner envy

ninja's dd1 is a true heroine, especially as a poor 6 yr old girl died in a canal this week sad

Can't quite believe how mad it is to say DD will be 5 in sept. 5!! I still remember joining the 08 antenatal thread and mamamuffin and her terrible ms.

notcitrus Fri 22-Mar-13 16:22:18

I can't believe A will be 5 either, but then nor can he - he wants to be 4 forever and never grow up. Bless.
I got myself in a right state because I saw school places were published on the 17th, a MN thread started about lack of places, I logged into the site which crashed, eventually got it resolved...and of course it's April they come out. D'oh.

I'm finding life odd at the moment as in Jan I finally got all my health problems diagnosed as one single condition. With a fairly straightforward treatment to alleviate symptoms. So taking tablets and able to do things I haven't been able to do for years, like buttons, or chopping veg for a meal and still be able to stir food, or sometimes even bend over and pick up the mess on the floor. Only the pills make me very groggy the next day, so Im only taking a v low dose so doesnt always work, but I need to be awake for work, and dont want to take any more until I manage to give up bfing - dd keeps yanking my hair, punching me in the face, and being a right pain, so I really won't be sorry to give it up - and it might help my joints, too. Will see if I can convince her in the middle of the night...

ninja Fri 22-Mar-13 21:14:53

MrsA - it's you I have to thank for contacting the paper, I wouldn't have thought of it except you suggested it!

C's writing and reading is amazing, lovely to see them develop isn't it? It's good that DS is calmer for you. Eldest girls can be a handful ;)

Just about to have a go with the steam cleaner smile

NC that's fantastic that you've managed to get medication to help. Was the diagnosis a surprise to you?

Meglet Sun 24-Mar-13 22:02:33


Yay. DD got into local primary school that was our first choice. It is much larger than the one we thought she should go to initially (other one has very much a village school feel) but after talking to people, it made me realise she needs somewhere she can make lots of friends and be well prepared for senior school. They also have a good after school club and good IT facilities.

60 in reception, other school has 24. Just hoping it's the right one.Think it is. It is walking distance and the other one is a drive away.

ninja Wed 27-Mar-13 22:09:15

That's great MrsA - it's good going to a school within walking distance. Your reasons are sound.

The school I've applied to for M is bigger than DD1's school, partly beacuse of the friendship thing.

Great news MrsA!!

My brother phoned last night; given that dnephew is now 2, we've been expecting a pg announcement for some time, and they had one! They're due 10 days after us...and its twins shock grin wine
They were telling my mum tonight, boy would I have loved to have been a fly on the wall!
I have never been more thrilled and overexcited about being upstaged in my entire life!!! grin

notcitrus Sat 30-Mar-13 13:46:52

Excellent MrsA! We don't find out until 17th. Walking distance will be great - I never had that as a kid and felt I missed out.

Quiet Easter here - dd had lurgy so yesterday clung to me all day. I had it too so quite happy to sit still with her.

Fab news Carrie. I look a bit nostalgic at small babies, but am just so glad I'll never have one again...

Debs75 Sat 30-Mar-13 16:49:52

Well I managed to stay off Mumsnet till Easter.
Did you all miss me???

Ninja Your dd is gorgeous and such a hero. I would of been terrified about jumping in.

Everyone else Hi and well done on past news or maybe commiserations not had a proper catch up(bublush). We don't hear about schools for a few weeks but we might hear about Lucy starting nursery next week on the 2 year pilot scheme. I really hope she gets it as she could do with the company, she misses Robyn loads. She will start anyway in September but going in two weeks would give me time to study more.

I am trained as a Doula now, just waiting for a mum to support and I am having a water birth training day next week. I can't wait and hopefully it will kick my ass into gear and I will get the distinctions I need to get into Uni.

Have to go Robyn and Lucy are coming down with some chesty thing and they are fighting over who gets a cuddle.

Welcome back debs we did miss you!
You can attend my waterbirth in September if you like, although I suspect you'd miss it by the time you'd travelled the hour to get here! All the best with the training, hope you get into uni.
I'm just unleashing my inner primary school teacher and planning an easter egg hunt for the DCs tomorrow. Made easier by Asda's £2 egg hunt kit! grin

Debs75 Sun 31-Mar-13 12:37:58

Thanks Carrie I missed coming on but made up with facebook insteadblush hope that works this time. I would love to come to your waterbirth as well. Tis a pity you are an hour away, you would have to promise to hold on with the pushing whilst I jump in the car.

Me and DD1 are organising when we can go to open days already. We have about 6 to go to so it needs planning well so I am not bankrupt before we even start.

ninja Sun 31-Mar-13 17:09:03

Happy birthday mrs A grin

Meglet Mon 01-Apr-13 19:07:49


I'm procrastinating over finishing my OU essay. hmm

Debs75 Tue 02-Apr-13 09:53:13

Meglet I procrastinated so much over doing an essay for college I decorated DD1's bedroom. I am in the middle of another one and I am seriously looking for something else to do.

Debs I don't think I could hold on pushing, I delivered 40mins after being pronounced 'in labour' last time, and each time I've shaved yet more time off my personal best!
Happy birthday MrsA!
meglet and debs make a brew, grab a biscuit and Do Some Work grin

Cheers for the birthday wishes guys - overshadowed by Easter Sunday and eggs but twas fun.

Carrie surely now a homebirth is on the cards?! I loved labouring in my pool, even though the bastards dragged me in to labour ward eventually.

DD is now 4.5 and still hates being alone. She is alternating sleeping on a mattress in our room and demanding that DS shares with her. His cot will take all day to dismantle and reassemble, so it's not a quick fix if it doesn;t work. WWYD? I'm scared she'll wake him up but then I can see benefits too.

Meglet Tue 02-Apr-13 21:01:15

debs I keep wanting to clean my bathroom as I haven't done it since February but I'm forcing myself to finish the essay tonight. It's not even one that counts towards my final mark so it doesn't have to be perfect, it's 95% done and I'll check and finish it in a moment.

Nothing could convince me to consider a homebirth I'm afraid! Its just not for me at all, and sadly I know too many people (including my own nephew) who would have died had they not had instant access to medical professionals. Thankfully I've had really positive experiences of hospital births and the care I've received, and when things got a bit hairy in my labour with DD I felt very well looked after and comforted by having doctors close by.
And it also means that whoever is looking after my children has full access to our house/toys/kitchen/put them to bed.
I know some people feel as strongly anti-hospital as I do pro-hospital, its like lots of other aspects of parenting where we each do what feels right and puts us at ease which might be polar opposite of a choice someone else makes. I know people (including my best friend) who've loved their home births and I'm really pleased that they got the births they wanted, and so sorry for you MrsA that you didn't get the birth you wanted as I know how much stress the hospital environment and the whole experience caused you. On which note where are you up to with pursuing the hospital over what happened in your labour and birth?
Of course I might labour so fast this time that I don't get the option, but I know that the second my contractions ramped up last time, I wanted to be where I felt safe, which for me was not in my lounge!

Re: room sharing, our kids love it, there was a week or so initially where they had a little too much fun, but once the novelty wore off we've never looked back, sounds like it could be worth a go?

DD is 6 tomorrow, where has the time gone? She's so grown up...

Well done meglet Lets assume debs silence is because she's working hard ;)

Meglet Tue 02-Apr-13 23:52:32

carrie love the labour 'PB' grin. How far away are you from the hospital, can you get there quickly when your labour kicks off?

I've done my essay at last. Not sure if it was harder because I haven't done one since my last couse in July, maybe the secret of studying is to keep at it <<sigh>>.

Thankfully we're only 10mins from hospital, maybe 15-20 in bad traffic. I'm reckoning on delivering in triage this time!

Meglet Sat 06-Apr-13 18:09:27

I'm pleased to report that I cleaned the bathroom (DD "Mummy it's all sparkly!!!") and got a good mark for my OU essay. So something must have gone into my brain grin.

Did anyone else manage to throw their children into the garden most of the day today? The dc's were sent out around 10am and apart from lunch were outside in pj's until 3pm when we had to nip into town. They've had a good dose of sunshine now.

Debs75 Sun 07-Apr-13 20:24:26

Well I was working a bit on it. almost finished now and I have finally got the hang of it. Managed to clean out the fridge before knuckling down to it today.

DP has blitzed our garden this week so the dc's have some 3600 square feet to run around in. I will miss it when we move, if we ever move.

notcitrus Sun 07-Apr-13 23:35:38

A played in the garden today I think first time in 2 years. Council are being annoying re confirming anything about permitted devt or planning permission, so haven't knocked our kitchen down yet, at which point there will be no garden until it's rebuilt.

The garden is only 16 foot square but the playground and park are under 5 min away so spent the afternoon there. A pushed dd in a swing for about 15 minutes and then ran off with four kids he knows and another. Will be great when he's a bit older to have friends within walking distance.

Hoping cold viruses bugger off with winter. Dd has another chesty cold which she has shared with me and MrNC. As usual A has avoided it. I'm starting to think fruit and veg and healthy eating must cause rather than resist colds!

Ah Carrie each to their own- you labour and birth best where you feel safe. I felt safest at home, you feel safest at hospital.

As to my IM and hospital saga, well things have progressed.
we took the IM to court for the fees back and in January she didn't turn up and the judge awarded in my favour and judged she should return 80% of the fees we paid plus costs.
She didn't pay.
I engaged bailiffs who took a walking possesion of her car and she had 2 hrs to pay or they would take her 4x4. She paid. I got my fees back plus all costs and the bailiffs added £1,000 on top for their fees <faints>. Silly woman, it cost her far far more.

I have consulted a solicitor and they say i can sue the hospital on 3 counts: for assault (they did not get my written consent for the section), for negligent policy (the anaethesist (sp) did not use a long enough needle for the epidural and he admitted to DP that it probably would not work as he was only allowed to use longer needles in theatre-hence my general. Other hospitals do not have such a policy. And 3rd, they referred me to social services before DS was born solely on the basis of the choices I was making in labour, which is against all guidelines, so they reckon they can get some mileage out of that on human rights issues, especially as it might have affected DD.

I've not taken any steps as yet as I'm only really recovered from last year's horrible procedure and mentally only just ready.

Tonight though I'm in Glasgow on business first night away from home since DS was conceived and I am relishing it.

Oh and we moved the DC int same room at w'end and made DS's room a playroom and so far so good. DD still waking to ask us to cover her up (she can't do it herself apparently) but not disturbing DS.

Meglet Thu 11-Apr-13 15:14:53

<<ill klaxon>>

I think I've got another chest infection, my poor lungs are so tight. Off to the GP's shortly. 'Luckily' I had today booked as annual leave anyway, great way to spend my day off hmm.

MrsA how was your business trip?

Meglet Thu 11-Apr-13 19:10:19

The GP says it's not a chest infection and everything sounds fine. Apparently it's viral as my glands are up. I still feel wiped out though sad.

We hear about school places next Tuesday. I'm just about to print off the school uniform order sheet so I can get it in quickly once DD's place is (hopefully) confirmed.

Badvoc Thu 11-Apr-13 20:03:28

Hope everyone is ok x

what's this about school uniform urgency? do i need to sort it now? i've not heard much about this,

business trip ace. reset my inner grown up. dp had shite time - ds was up half the night so he got his mum over at 2am to help. mega development spurt i reckon, ds just wouldn't settle. he's slept through since i got homesmile

Meglet Thu 11-Apr-13 22:33:24

MrsA I wanted to get the logo-d school uniform bits ordered asap as they can be expensive. (They don't run out or anything). Then I will stock up on trousers, plain polos in the supermarket. I know what sizes I need so I prefer to buy it now then I have all summer to fiddle about getting it labelled.

Love the idea of 'resetting your inner grown up'.

Badvoc Fri 12-Apr-13 11:31:07

Hello everyone smile
Seems ages since I have posted!
Lots going on here (as usual).
Hope you are all ok? Carrie how is the pg going? Is the sickness still bad?
Ninja...hope the TB isn't being, well, a TB smile
Had to have new windows on the back of the house...sigh.
Toby has had more checks at the hospital as he has been coughing since nov. he was rushed in with croup a couple of weeks ago so the gp has dx as asthmatic sad
He is ok at taking his inhalers thankfully, but am still sad sad
Ds1 is doing so well smile he has moved up to the top table in handwriting and literacy smile
My uncle died last week so have a funeral to go to next week and dh is away on South America sad
Oh, and mum has to go for a stress test on her heart.
All in all, a pretty crappy week ahead.
Have a good weekend x

Oh badvoc so sad you're having a rubbish time of it.
MrsA silly woman indeed re:IM not paying up!
My one bit of uniform advice for parents of girls, is that its worth paying the extra for M&S tights! They were £9 for 3 pairs last year (they always have a 20% sale at the start of the season though) but DD's are still in great condition after two terms - and she's the tree climbing/bike riding sort. I bought supermarket tights in reception, but by Christmas the crotch was down by her knees and the waist was up to her armpits, so it was a false economy as I had to go and buy more.
Actually I've been very impressed with all the M&S clothes and the way they've worn and washed, and in their 20% sale you can still kit them out very cheaply. I got a £2 skirt from Sainsbury's as an emergency item though, and PE kit from sport&soccer (or sportsdirect.com as I think its now called).

I've just got back from a rather too exciting week away. On the way to taking DH to the airport to go to the USA for work, our car engine exploded on the M4. Thankfully we were very early for his flight as we were taking the big two kids for their first visit to an airport and planned to spend the afternoon riding travellators, going between terminals, and veiwing the runway from costa but instead we spent it on the back of a tow truck. The car is a write-off, and so we're now looking at getting a 7 seater car somewhat earlier than planned!

DD lost her first tooth tonight, she's all growed up <sniff>

Meglet Sun 14-Apr-13 22:04:04

carrie don't do what I did last week and and forget to tell the tooth fairy to visit blush. In her defence she was feeling really rather poorly and drugged up on Night Nurse and it was DS's fifth tooth coming out so the novelty had worn off. She came good during breakfast though and dashed in for the tooth leaving a sprinkling of fairy dust and a happy DS phew.

So glad you're all ok after the car breakdown!

Badvoc Sun 14-Apr-13 22:14:46

Blimey carrie, are you all ok!?
Yeah, it's all pretty pants here ATM, but mustn't grumble. Could be worse.
Dh off at 4am for his flight so feeling very sad sad
I always buy m and s uniform for my dc.
The trousers wear well, and the polo shirts.
Last year mil gave me a 20% off voucher, and I got free delivery too so got his whole uniform (2 pairs trousers, 6 polo shirts, PE stuff - he has to have shorts, joggers, jumoer and t shirt!- and pants, vests and socks) for under £30.

Yes we're all fine, the most amazing bit about the whole thing was that DH was still with us, and more crucially, DS2 wasn't! As we stood in the brambles at the top of a hill by the M4 for an hour, we were so, so thankful that we weren't trying to keep a 19mo occupied and safe!

meglet how's the chest infection?

Right, the tooth fairy is on task now!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Mon 15-Apr-13 11:50:09

Thought I would pop in and say hello smile

I can't believe tomorrow I/we are going to hear about the dc's school places. Where have the years gone?

M is ready to start school, I on the other hand .....

Badvoc Mon 15-Apr-13 12:29:34

I know! smile
I have ds1s 4 day PGL trip and leavers assembly to get through before I start even thinking about Toby starting school!
Toby's pre school is actually closing at the end of year, so it's going to be an emotional day sad

Pants, I thought school announcement was today and have been frantically checking email. Will have to get all obsessive about it tomorrow instead!!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Mon 15-Apr-13 14:13:53

<waves back>

Lol Carrie, have you been frantically refreshing your email?!

That's sad news about T's pre school Badvoc. Our pre school has been close to closure before. Ds3 starts there in September. September is going to be a very emotional month.

Badvoc Mon 15-Apr-13 14:49:54

Yes, I am gutted ILTMIMI sad
So sorry to hear the IMW too the whole thing to court...such an obv case of breach of contract on her part...sigh.
I wish you well with whatever you decide to do next x
My nephews are coming for tea later so am preparing myself for nephewgeddon...the hosue will be a tip but hey ho smile

meglet how do you make fairy dust iknow----the----fairies----do----it----really----but----i'm----just----curious

Debs75 Mon 15-Apr-13 20:19:04

I'm not sure how I feel about the school thingy tomorrow. If she gets either school I will be happy, it's if she gets the crap nearest one. I will appeal if she does as we really want to move so getting the nearest one now before we move isn't going to help us if we move far and they won't let us change for a term.
We will be getting uniform from Asda and Matalan most likely. They are nearest and ridiculously cheap. On the quality side if DS can manage then I'm sure the girls can. Even M&S trousers rip when he does the splits.

Lucy starts nursery tomorrowsmile I won't be able to drop her off thoughsad I have dropped all the others off on their first day of nursery but tomorrow I will be stuck at college. I could console myself with saying it isn't 'proper' nursery and I will be picking her up and then taking her swimming so she will still love me.

Bad luck with the car Carrie I bet that was very scary. My first car popped out of gear on the motorway once and I was terrified that it had broken. Good job you didn't have ds2 with you

Meglet Mon 15-Apr-13 21:44:24

carrie this is what I used www.barrym.com/products/face/shimmer/fine-glitter-dust.html . It's been hanging around in a drawer for donkeys years and came to me in a flash of inspiration.

I get school uniform from Sainburys. Although I've bought DD some cullotes from Next as I was desperate to make sure I had some in her size before they all sold out.

The chest infection (that wasn't) is ok now. No idea what was going on on Thursday but I felt like death for 24hr then perked up confused. I'm probably just burnt out.

Phew, despite the council's best efforts, DS1 got into our catchment school where DD already is.
And I sold I car to a breakers for £300.
Hope everyone else has good news today smile

ninja Tue 16-Apr-13 14:56:56


Yep - M got in to her first choice (different school to DD1,but equally close and she and I have nmore friends there).

Must catch up later!

Badvoc Tue 16-Apr-13 15:23:58

Toby got into ds1s school too even though its not our catchment school.
Glad it's got good news for everyone so far!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Tue 16-Apr-13 17:10:59

We got our choice. Not that it is a surprise, the school is only a few hundred yards from us. But I still had those 'what if' thoughts this morning.

Hooray, great news everyone smile
All of DS1's friends got in as far as I've heard too.
Only seen one horror story on fb regarding admissions, maybe the system is finally working? < naive emoticon>

Kagey Tue 16-Apr-13 20:00:46

Congrats on the school places!! We find out tomorrow, and I'll be waiting until DH gets home to check online - the suspense will be killing me grin.

Good luck to all tomorrow!

notcitrus Tue 16-Apr-13 20:20:01

We get emailed tomorrow evening. I don't envy the preschool teacher on Thursday as the tight-knit group will be hopefully going in the 3 directions of their parents' choice but someone's bound to be on a waiting list. It should at least be better than last year when 500 local kids got no offer at all. At least a dozen were round the corner from me.

Meglet Tue 16-Apr-13 23:29:19

DD got her school place with her brother. Now I just have to hope we get the teacher I want, ie; the strict one and not the wishy-washy one.

obviously I'm now wondering about what it'll be like for secondary admissions in 5yrs time.

So, those who have experience of school....help!!!!!

What the score. i have no clue about uniforms, first days, school dinners, book bags etc etc. How do I find all this out? Is there an information website or what>! Am not starting to panic.

Badvoc Wed 17-Apr-13 17:17:28

Generally the school should so am open morning/afternoon.
Check out the website?
If not, make an appt to see the HT and ask what you need to know or for a info pack.
My school say a child needs:
Lunch bag and lunch box
Water bottle - not opaque
5 x polo shirts/tops
2 - 3 x pairs trousers/skirts/dresses
6 x Vests
6 x Socks
6 x Pants
School bag
1 - 2 x cardigans or jumpers
Warm coat
Summer jacket
PE kit - plimsoles, trainers, shorts, joggers, t shirt and jumper
Sensible school shoes
I only buy the jumpers with the school logo on.
I tend to get it all from M&S when the offers are on.
Ds has navy socks for school and blue pants. I find that easier than hunting through his drawers each morning.

Badvoc Wed 17-Apr-13 17:20:13

Oh, and wrt school dinners, some LAs let you pay per day or week and others you have to pay per term.
Info should be on the website.
My school does the first week as optional half days in reception.
Obv for Dds I would add to the above list...hairbands. Hair clips.
Oh! And summer hat too!
Also useful to get one if those small sun creams to keep in their school bag in summer of its hot.

Debs75 Wed 17-Apr-13 17:56:29

Robyn got in our first choice.
Spoke to some mums from the school and got an idea about uniform so will be stocking up soon.

Lucy loved her first nursery day and was sooo excited when I picked her up. cue a huge neck breaking hug.

notcitrus Wed 17-Apr-13 18:17:15

Got 3rd choice, no idea how, never even seen it. Neighbour the same. Suppose I'd better have a look. How do you get on the waiting lists?
I'm told it's a good school at least, but was hoping for less walking not more...

Kagey Wed 17-Apr-13 21:04:58

I'm very relieved that Erin got her first choice. A couple of her friends who applied to a very popular school were offered alternative schools, but hopefully after shuffling around of places, they'll get their first choice too.

The email has not arrived yet, so fortunately I could dig out my login for eadmissions.

Meglet Wed 17-Apr-13 22:00:24

Impressively comprehensive list badvoc!

All I will do differently this time is to only buy DD a couple of new school logo polo shirts for the first year (mainly for school photo day), and make up the difference in DS's old logo ones and a couple of new plain polos from Sainsburys. In their school those first few weeks in reception can be as messy as pre-school and those white polo shirts don't stay white for very long!

Not sure how common it is but mine have 2 winter coats each. One for school / nursery and one for home. It means they can trash the school coat and still look presentable at weekends. It also makes washing them less stressful as you're not trying to get them dry overnight. I've got a bit anal about it now and their current weekend coats will be swapped to their school coats in Sept and I'll get a slightly bigger size up for their new weekend coats. That way something always fits and looks clean. I don't have enough to think about do I hmm.

MrsA not sure where you buy shoes (I've seen your posh kids shoe links on FB!) but if you do go to Clarks then you usually have to make an appointment around the end of August. So much less painful than waiting around for your ticket to come up!

nc Sorry to hear that. We got a letter in the post today confirming DS1s place, with a phone number to ring for appeals, which is basically the education department at the council, so you could try your local one? Also I think possibly schools manage their own waiting lists?

MrsA we got a letter from the school a while after the confirmation of place from the council. They invited us to an information evening where we were given the book bags and masses of information on uniform etc etc and you could meet the teachers and ask whatever you want.

A couple of things still surprised me though - we were told half way through the year they needed trainers for outdoor PE (already had plimsolls for indoor). Thankfully sportsdirect.com at the shopping park is cheap!

We have two coats for our kids - a ski jacket for winter (warm, waterproof, can take the knocks of the playground), and a properly waterproof lightweight one (regatta etc) as we always walk/cycle to school come rain or shine. Thankfully we live near a designer outlet and can get branded ones for cheapness (day trip to York anyone?! grin)

Also this year on advice from a friend I got DD's school shoes (from Clarks at designer outlet...) half a size bigger and started with an insole in, so one pair at £21 has seen her through the whole school year.

DH will be back from his 10 day business trip tomorrow. Can't Wait!

So..... every single primary school child has the same uniform except the school jumper/cardi? Why do I see 3 colours of dress in Asda then?
And Badvoc, do they mean 6 vests for school or it's handy to have 6 vests or you need 6 vests in your bag? Both DCs are hot children and may sweat in vests.

I am sooo in the dark about this and not in my comfort zone.

I will phone the school and see what the score is about an intro day/evening

Hiya. I am totally clueless. Expecting an email I think. In the Algarve where it was 27 degrees which really does feel like a different and unattached world......

Badvoc Thu 18-Apr-13 06:58:44

All schools have different colours Mrsa.
For example toms old school was grey trousers and green jumper.
His current one is navy trousers and red jumper.
His new one is black trousers and navy jumper!!
Meglet is spot on...2 coats, one for home and one for school.
Also, wellies for school and wellies for home too!
I only buy the school bag and jumper withnthe logo on otherwise it gets really expensive.
Oh! And for girls, schools tights too!
I always have separate stuff for school and home, even down to undies as then you know exactly what's what and theirs no fading about each morning looking for decent socks etc for school.
hTh x

Badvoc Thu 18-Apr-13 07:03:42

Oh....and don't panic smile
You have months to sort all this out x

Would you keep the wellies at school or do they wear them and on wet days take their shoes in a bag with them to change into at school?

I make no apologies, you're going to get lots of these questions over the coming months smile

I know I have time but my head works better if I'm prepared and understand. It's all very difficult though.

Would red patent shoes for school be frowned upon? DD loves her start rites and they are so hard wearing.

We have two pairs of wellies - easier than remembering them every day, and at £6 in sainsburys its not too awful a cost.

DD's school are flexible about black/grey trousers etc, but shoes must be black.

Generally the girls wear blue or red summer dresses, but they wouldn't be turned away in yellow or green.

Some girls wear red tights, but I only let DD wear M&S's finest grey ones!

Neither of mine have ever worn a vest.

Today we heard that DS1 is anaemic. He had lots of tests after repeated skin infections and bleeding around his bottom. Everything came back negative, except iron levels. But I know that's just a symptom, not a condition in its own right; he has a small appetite but a very good diet, so why isn't he absorbing iron from his food? dMIL is convinced he has coeliacs (its in the family, and he has other symptoms like slow growth, small appetite, sleeps a lot) but they tested for it and it came back negative. Time to acquaint myself with the allergy boards...all ideas gratefully received! He's getting iron supplements from tomorrow and will be allowed orange juice with every meal instead of just on Sundays! And dried apricots will form a massive part of his diet!

Badvoc Thu 18-Apr-13 19:01:54

Generally school shoes should be black or navy iirc.
Carrie...could you get a private test? I say that as the NHS is the cheapest and not very reliable.
I am considering get in tested myself as my mum is and I am sure I am but e NHS test came back negative.

notcitrus Thu 18-Apr-13 21:29:27

Feeling happier today - school says we can look round any Wed afternoon, just let them know, and the new building not only has funding but is being built starting at the end of term. We'll make sure we're on the wait list for 1 and 2, though possibly may not take a place at 2 depending on how much we like 3. And see if a place comes up at 1 - a friend's child got in who I thought was almost as far as us, but actually quite a bit closer when I checked the map. By quite a bit I mean about 200m...

A mile walk twice a day will be good for ds, right? And the bright red jumpers make the kids easy to see! Seriously, we had ds and dn in orange and yellow T-shirts in the park last weekend, and it was so much more relaxing being able to pick them out easily, rather than staring at every mousy-haired child in bluish clothes.

NC glad you're feeling happier. We are at the far end of our school catchment and its nearly a mile each way, so I walk nearly 4 miles a day. I love the exercise, and the fact that I lost a stone in DD's first year there!

badvoc I would consider that if I don't get anywhere with the NHS, but I'd want to be pretty sure that that's what he had before putting him through it. Will wait for our follow up appointment and see what they say and if they would re-test, or consider the biopsy.
Back to the enuresis clinic tomorrow with DD
nurse "how's it going?"
me "she still wees in her pants every day"
nurse "hmmm...try this points/sticker chart"

We are getting our money's worth out of the NHS!!!

Meglet Thu 18-Apr-13 23:03:28

MrsA Shoes have to be black at our school too.

I've given up on school wellies for DS as he hardly wore them, although he walks to school in them if it's really wet or snowing. But DD will have some at school come Sept just in case.

A cheap second (and third) set of winter hats + gloves are useful. I use elastic to sew the gloves to their school coat cuffs. Primark always seem to have a pack of 2 gloves for £2, you might get some bits in the last of the winter sale.

I check school bags on the walk home to see if there is anything I need to take out, read, sign. And pack bags the night before. I've set up a little coat hook, shoes rack for them so they can reach everything they need in the morning. not that they pay attention to my anal attempts at organisation


Wtf are vests?

Badvoc Fri 19-Apr-13 07:41:41

Erm....a form of underwear.
For winter.
So, in this country you only need them 9 months out of the 12 smile
Mrsa...also you might need to provide a pencil case etc.

Lol. I know what they are but just don't 'get' them. I thought they were what people wore during the war and not since.

I just found out we got our choice. It was what we were expecting as we were renting a road away during applications and have exchanged on a house even closer but it's nice to have the official note.

NC when DS was at nursery and dd at preschool they both walked a mike a day (well a couple of times a week I took the buggy for dd) and I found that actually the walk made them arrive ready to learn and the walk home was useful for bring them down but also ensured they had my undivided attention to talk about the day and share worries. I actually thought that distance was optimal and woukd have gone for that here if I didn't have to be on the doorstep to get in.

Badvoc Fri 19-Apr-13 10:34:24

<hides her thermal vests from star>

notcitrus Fri 19-Apr-13 14:03:16

Yes, I now usually enjoy the walk home, and often the one to nursery (about 3/4 mile). Will see if that's still the case once dd learns to walk...

I'm a recent convert to vests, as a wuss who feels the cold - same effect as a thick jumper, without the bulk or hiding your nice top. Ds is starting to rebel against them but as he never feels cold, so be it.

Badvoc Fri 19-Apr-13 14:25:14

I love my thermals.
Nothing like thermal fabric from neck to ankle smile

Debs75 Sun 21-Apr-13 20:39:03

The hound is poorlysad
She has been slowing down a bit in the last few weeks and yesterday she was pretty listless, last night she was dragging her back legs and this morning she could barely stand. Went to emergency vets and she says she has arthritis and she has a nerve problem. She is knuckling her back paws. They gave her pain relief and an anti inflammatory and she has slept all day. Back there Tuesday but I can see us taking her tomorrow as she is so poorly looking.
I have discussed with DP and DD1 and if the vets say she is in a lot of pain then we have agreed to have her put to sleep. I want to have a right good cry about it but I am having to be strong for everyone else. I feel as if I am losing a friend not just a dog.

Oh and talking of friends I am helping my best friend move over an hour away on Fridaysad. Oh God now I really need a cry. I can't see me getting much done this week at college, health promotion is the last thing I want to look at

Badvoc Sun 21-Apr-13 20:54:05

Ah debs sad
Am sorry about the hound. They become such a big part of family life dont they?
Dh is back...yay!
I have been turned down for yet another job sad only a few hours at a local waitrose, but still....maybe I really am unemployable!? sad

debs have that good cry and let it all out!

That's rotten about the job badvoc But hooray for DH!

Its only monday lunch time and I'm exhausted...yaaaaaaaaaaaaawn.


Three quarters of advertised jobs go to someone already earmarked for them, especially in this climate. It's nothing to do with you not being employable, and everything to do with the law that says you can't give jobs to your friends unless you put an advert out first.

Badvoc Mon 22-Apr-13 15:54:26

Thanks star.
Feel very low ATM.
I dont expect to walk into my dream job (especially in this economic climate) but I have applied for at least 12 jobs over the past year - some in retail, some pt admin jobs - and I have never even got an interview.
With Dhs new role it's very difficult. I don't want to think I will never work again but what with school term time to work round and Dhs travel it's going to be tough sad

ninja Tue 23-Apr-13 19:21:38

Badvoc that's tough sad as Starlight says it's just a bad time. There'll be so many people going for each job.

Badvoc Tue 23-Apr-13 19:31:39

No point feeling sorry for myself (but I do smile)
Just not sure what if anything I can do about it.

Meglet Tue 23-Apr-13 21:04:18

bookmarking. I no longer have the energy to type as DD has sapped my will to live <<sigh>>.

notcitrus Tue 23-Apr-13 22:40:39

Sympathy debs and badvoc.

Amazingly, A's best friend at nursery has been offered the same school as us, despite living two streets away from their first choice. They are over 80 on the waiting list!!! I can only assume all the kids already there have 4 year old siblings.

I'm finally really enjoying Spring. smile

Badvoc Wed 24-Apr-13 06:53:30

Meg..you ok? sad
NC...that's good news!

Meglet Wed 24-Apr-13 13:30:52

badvoc DD is out of control at the moment. Bedtimes are carnage, she tears about for about 2hrs these days, getting under my feet, making a mess and occasionally waking her brother up angry. She was up twice in the night last night waking me up for a cuddle / duvet straighten. I'm just worn out by her and don't have the energy to fight it these days. I'm on my lunchbreak now and planning this afternoons tea / choc regime to keep myself awake.

nc that's great news. DS only knew one child at his school, but he had loads of friends within a week or so. They all seem to bumble along together at that age.

Badvoc Wed 24-Apr-13 16:21:33

Meg sad oh, i remember the night wakings sad Any further along with the assessments?
PM me if you dont want to talk about it on thread x
Got a meeting with ds1s teacher tomorrow....he starts middle school in sept <wibble> and we are having a meeting to discuss him being taken off the SEN register - which he has been on since he was in year 1 smile
it's great and a lovely reward for all his hard work and it will mean a clean slate at his new school.
I am also not convinced that sen provision in secondary schools is any good. I would rather keep working in his spelling and writing at home as afaik we are using the best programme for those (its called apples and pears)
Afaik he isn't even getting any interventions/provisions at school ATM anyway...
Poor Toby and a nasty fall at pils last night and his cheek is really swollen and bruised sad
I checked inside his mouth and it looks ok, also no teeth damaged.
He is eating and talking fine.
Was I wrong not to take him to gp?
He does look a bit like a chipmunk who has been in a fight smile

Meglet Wed 24-Apr-13 19:03:07

Oh bless badvoc poor Toby. I think that if he's talking and eating ok he should be fine, if a little bruised.

I've got my ASD assessment in July, so we will see how that pans out. Then we have to crack on and do DD. Mums here at the moment so I can wind down and hopefully have a peaceful bedtime with DD, I've bought her a new book to make the peace.

Badvoc Wed 24-Apr-13 20:50:27

That all sounds very positive meg.
Hope the assessment goes well.

You have an ASD assessment Meglet?

Hope it goes as you want/need it to.

Meglet Wed 24-Apr-13 21:26:29

star yes, 30yrs too late. It's an NHS referral, they've pulled their finger out at last.

Blimey. I hope you find it helpful. It must be such a relief to have the appointment.

notcitrus Fri 26-Apr-13 19:41:23

Hope the assessment goes well meglet.
I'm trying to complete DLA application before my area moves to PIP in 6 weeks time. I started a couple years ago but the forms are just so depressing and inaccessible. At least now I have diagnoses which sound a bit more respectable.

Good luck Meglet and NC

I'm finally getting my head around school stuff. Grey skirt, trousers or pinafore, school logo blue polo shirt and red logo cardigan or jumper. Optional black school logo coat for £15 which is waterproof and fleece reversible.Is this a good idea?

My only worry now id D's behaviour, which is awful atm. If she is the slightest bit tired, she behaves like a 2yr old - breaking crayons on purpose, throwing, yelling 'NO'. She also occasionally wets herself at home - never outside or at nursery so think it's a control thing.
She is still in pull ups at night and they are soaking wet in the morning. What do we do to get her out of night time nappies?! She is really good in the day (unless tired and grumpy) and did come out of them for about 6 months at night and did well, then got floored by an ear infection and went back into them and has stayed there ever since.
Anyone got any good ideas?

ninja Sun 28-Apr-13 23:09:10

Hi MrsA, C will no doubt behave a LOT better at school than at home, and that's the way it should be!

About the night time nappies, I'd really not worry, it will happen in time and not worth pushing I'd say. A good proportion of her class will still be in nappies at night. DD1 was dry ish at 3.6 and then started wetting again when DD1 was born, was never completely reliable and then wet again when we separated and is now absolutely fine. I do know children who weren't dry until older though. It's not considered an issue at all until 7

ninja Sun 28-Apr-13 23:11:18

Should also add the obvious, plenty to drink during the day (to train bladder) but none after tea time. Avoid dark drinks in the evening (blackcurrant etc).

ninja had a shite night with DS up with his teeth, I'm fasting today (doing the 5:2 diet and finding it remarkably good for me) so not feeling 100% but your words have really cheered me up. Thank you.

<less shouty mum, more ignore mum with time out and consequences box> and repeat.

Consequences box is not for her to go in btw!!

DP is so naive sometimes and gets so annoyed that she keeps on misbehaving ie he expects her to rmember good behaviour everyday, whilst in hindsight for me, it was clear she was having a tiring and 'off' weekend.

ninja Mon 29-Apr-13 23:42:16

a consequences box sounds like WAY too much fun if it was to go in!

I was a horrible shouty Mum yestrday, wondering why my children were so entitled and whingy.... then I gave them tea and they were lovely. I then remembered we'd been to a car boot and had lunch there at 11.30, I'd snacked since but they hadn't blush I felt awful, had reduced DD1 to tears (in my defence I was buying her a bike as PART of her birthday present so would have thought she could be a bit grateful).

What I'm trying to say is I hope think it's normal.

Badvoc Tue 30-Apr-13 07:21:00


Hi everyone, Had an epic weekend with a 40th birthday, surprise 50th, and a wonderful wedding of some very dear friends. Its a long time since I've been to a wedding where I've known the vast majority of the guests, it was a scream! The kids have been shunted from pillar to post and put to bed by various different babysitters though, so we're paying the price behaviour wise too.

MrsA I will give a shamelss plug for my friend's new 5:2 diet book. That's not her in the picture although she'd like everyone to think it is wink

My 6yo DD and 4yo DS are both in nappies overnight still, DS's are dry more than DD's but with nowhere near enough consistency for me to consider taking him out of them. As Ninja said, its considered normal anything up to age 7, and then there are ways of helping them (or you can spend lots of ££ on the alarm thing that wakes them when they wee)

NC hope the application goes well

ninja did you find a good bike for your DD?

meg hope things are going well assessment wise.

DS1 learnt to ride his pedal bike on Sunday, so proud! He still can't start off on his own (I think its a confidence thing more than ability) but he can ride it pretty fast and seems to be getting the hang of the breaks. Once I'm happy in his ability, we'll put the seat down on his balance bike and re-gift it to DS2 who is already trying to climb on and ride it <hyperventilates at the thought of three children loose on bikes on the school run>

Debs75 Tue 30-Apr-13 20:32:11

MRSA Don't worry about night time nappies it all takes time for them to become dry and as long as you can afford them and you don't make her feel bad for wetting(I know you wouldn't) then she will grow out of it in time. My DD1 was way over 11 when she stopped wetting the bed, my friends dad has never stopped wetting the bed albeit very rarely.
Find a coping strategy that works for you, changing sheets, plastic sheets and lots of spare pj's helps, and it will happen in the end. Be prepared for school to maybe knock her back a bit whilst she gets used to the change.

Carrie 3 dc's on bikes sounds like a nightmare

Ninja my dniece gets really bad if she is hungry or thirsty, a terrible temper and nasty side come out. dsis has snacks and drinks with her constantly now to try and thrawt it.

Well my hound has astounded my and is behaving like a spring chicken. Her legs are loads better so not sure what is wrong with her now. Back there tomorrow to see what they think of the new superdog.

meglet Tue 30-Apr-13 21:51:43

Well, today I either had a genius parenting moment. Or DS will be scarred for life. He bashed over a fantastic tall block tower DD had built, then laughed angry and DD burst into tears. So I marched into his room and pulled apart a lego construction he was working on while he looked on aghast. Afterwards he said it wasn't very nice having something bashed over and he won't do it again. I have to say it was a much more pleasant punishment than shouting at him. Only time will tell if he does it again.

debs glad your superdog has perked up.

mrsA DD is a bit feral too. Her tantrums do tend to dominate the house these days, she tries to bite me on a weekly basis and still throws things. But she's fine at nursery, although nursery have said they can see how strong willed she is and understand what I have to deal with. Thinking back I'm sure DS was hard work in the run up to school starting (he is an autumn baby too) but there weren't any horrific incidents once he started. IME those first few weeks of reception are very much play based so the children have time to find their feet and the teachers can get to know them. You will hopefully have a one to one with her teacher before she starts and a home visit so you can give them the heads up on how she behaves at home.

Thanks for all your kind messages of support about DD. It took me a while to realise that for the past few weeks she has been going to nursery 4 days a week, up from 3 days, so has been knackered.

(aside, long story, DBiL was looking after DD and DS on Mondays for £25 and he did his back in, and now says he's still not well enough. MiL is having DS on Mondays and we put DD into nursery on Mondays cos she needs it and is cheaper than DS as he's under 2. Feel bad messing nursery around and wish Dbil will give us a firm, yes I can have them or no i can't)

DS is teething his back molars <yawn> But they share a room now and it's going well - night wakings from DD are greatly reduced.

Carrie we are behind on bikes. DD has a balance bike which she rarely goes on as she loves her scooter. DS is turning out to be the same as her - a runner - so is on reins everywhere. He does the 'collapse in a screaming heap cos I don;t want to go that way' dance.

And on a very sad note, my mum died at the weekend. We don't know when, her ex partner found her in the ensuite when he couldn;t contact her (they were in the middle of a nasty break up and he had moved out to be with his pregnant gf). She posted on my fb page on Friday night and then died sometime between then and Sunday night when he found her.
She hadn't changed her will so the cheating bastard gets all her assets (they'd been together 25 yrs). I don't know how I feel. I was resigned to the fact that she was a crap mum and a massive narcissist and she was a damaged person who damaged me but she was still my mum and I have some loving memories.
In didn't help that she was on diazapam (?) and drinking heavily too. They reckon a heart attack.
I am sad as she had quite a shit life and she didn't deserve to die alone.

She was only 66 and what makes me sad is that she had all the episodes of Merlin on Sky+ and was working her way through them cos she loved it but her ex cancelled Sky on her so she lost her recordings and will never see it now. I was going to buy her the dvds for her birthday.

How do you miss someone you fell out of love with and had only seen once or twice in the past yr?

ninja Tue 30-Apr-13 22:59:50

So sorry MrsA I know that you'd posted some of the difficulties with your Mum but as you say she's still your Mum and I'm sure that you thought you'd have plenty more years to with her.

Badvoc Wed 01-May-13 06:34:32

I am so sorry.
Just desperately sad, as you say.
And no matter how things stood between you, she was our mum and that is a huge link to your past gone.
My sincere sympathies x

Badvoc Wed 01-May-13 06:35:16

....I am workings way through merlin on cable. I will think of your mum next time I watch x

meglet Wed 01-May-13 07:42:09

So sorry mrsA. Despite her shortcomings she was your mum so you're bound to feel shell-shocked sad. There isn't a definitive way to feel when someone passes away, however you feel is how you need to feel. Have you got the week off work?

So sorry MrsA to hear of your mum's death, I hope you're able to take time off to grieve and space to breath as you process it. I hope you are able to say goodbye in a way that is helpful to you.

Debs75 Wed 01-May-13 22:40:33

Sorry to hear about your mum MRSA You must be very shocked at her sudden death. Meglet is right there is no 'proper' way to feel, just how you feel and that will change as you digest the news. <hugs>

notcitrus Fri 03-May-13 09:01:11

Sorry about your mother, MrsA. Must be a huge shock.

meglet Sat 04-May-13 18:20:15

How are you getting on this weekend mrsA?

We're having a quiet Bank Hols weekend, trying to get lots of fresh air but letting the kids wind down a bit too.

Hi all. Thanks for kind words. I've had more support here and on fb than my mum ever showed me.

Doing OK. Nothing has changed on a practical level so life goes on. i feel bursts of sadness but more that I never had a mother that I needed - she just couldn't be the mum and grandmum we wanted and needed. i do have some good memories but also some awful ones and once we were grown, she really washed her hands of us.

Her cremation is taking place in Rugby, as her ex is feeling guilty enough to arrange it and she did have quite a few friends down there. Her ashes will come back to us though and we will put her and my dad together with a memorial. We have to get down there with the kids, which won't be easy but my sister is adamant we should all be there and I agree.

We haven't discussed the will but it seems from mn threads that it won't be possible to change the will and if it unfair, it is tough. It is galling that ex will benefit from her assets after stomping on her heart so badly, especially assets she inherited from my dad/grandma. He may agree to give them up to us but it is down to him. I nagged her to change her will for this very reason but she was too depressed to get round to it.

I've been given 2 weeks off by work, which helps. This weekend is a quiet one. DD has started ballet lessons and we are off to a big park tomorrow. Spain beckons in 6 weeks though smile

Carrie how is the growing bean?

Meglet Do you know what you can do if it is impossible for DD to have a staggered start to Reception? I'm not sure what our school does but apart from maybe one or two days, I need DD to go full days from the outset, just don't have the childcare in place to cope.

Badvoc thank you for the lovely words about Merlin - appreciated smile

DD behaviour still poor but occasionally improving. DP's temper has not - he gets very impatient with her and that makes her worse. My way seems to work better, but he thinks I'm too soft.

ninja Sun 05-May-13 23:23:20

Well, I'm now the mother of a 10 year old shock

meglet Mon 06-May-13 07:57:53

mrsA I'm not sure how you could persuade a school to change a child to full days from the start. DD has short week, then a full week of half days then it's full days after that. Some schools round here do a month of half days, which totally buggers it up for ex-nursery parents. Maybe you could ask around for a childminder for those afternoons, I think certain childminders cover certain schools?

ninja double figures! What did you all get up to?

MrsA sounds likes you're doing brilliantly and have an excellent attitude that will get your family through this tough time. That is rotten about the will. I hope the sunshine and quality time with your immediate family are able to help you smile despite the bigger picture.

We had a great bank holiday, our annual weekend away with our best friends from uni who live the other end of the country to us. This time we met up in Derbyshire, and all got very sunburnt. Fab holiday cottage with hot tub in the garden, going to book the same place for next year! Unfortunately when we went to pick up our new Ford Galaxy from the dealership on Friday, it was in a terrible state. Mouldy throughout including the seat belts and fabric armrests, and a scratch on the bumper which when DH investigated, found the whole bumper and light cluster were loose shock. So we didn't buy it, and at the last minute had to hire a car for a weekend away...but all we could get was a Vaxhuall Corsa!! At least it was cheap, and DS2 managed remarkably well without his buggy for three days hmm

We've found another galaxy on autotrader, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

ninja Happy Birthday to your DD1!

Badvoc Tue 07-May-13 16:00:05

I hope that whatever happens you get to grieve for your mum the way you need to.
I am not sure what your Dds school so but Toby's only does 2 half days then its full time.
Could you have a word with the school and ask what their policy is?
Could she do part time at school and part time at nursery for a week (or however long it is)
Ds1 has gone away today for 4 days with school. I am bereft sad smile

Badvoc Tue 07-May-13 16:00:37

Carrie...you have been in my neck of the woods then!
Lovely weekend wasnt it? smile

ninja Wed 08-May-13 08:59:01

DD1 had a sleepover at her Dad's with 5 friends hmm, a BBQ and they went to the cinema in the morning. He was actually quite amiable with me the first day but back to being his twattish self the second.

He also told me that he'd told all the parents that we'd drop off, then got mad at me for replying to their messages saying they were at his house and where was he? (and that they'd tried his phone and there was no answer).

Then when I took one child the half hour home only to find her Mum was nearly at his angry, somehow it was all my fault ...

Anyway she had a good birthday but is knackered now as he dragged her off to an adult BBQ as soon as the guests had left and wouldn't let them leave until 10 - this was Monday night before school.

Badvoc we're camping in Derbyshire next weekend, near Ashbourne I think smile. I hope the weather is good. I'm really excited.

Badvoc Wed 08-May-13 09:39:21

Ugh. He is such a twatbadger angry
Ashbourne is lovely smile

Debs75 Wed 08-May-13 21:10:33

Hope you all had a lovely bank holiday.

Robyn had an inflatable birthday party on Saturday which was fun then I had a long afternoon/evening at the pub with my best friend who has moved away, she came back for her leaving do. It was great fun we were sat outside most of the day getting steadily drunk and laughing at the huge amount or star trek and star wars nerds who got dressed up. I even took my nephew out for a drink which made me feel ancient. We then went to the local alternative nightclub and got even more drunk and had so much fun. My feet ached so much that night and I couldn't sleep they were throbbing so much.
I will miss her soo much but she is only an hour away so we will see her lots I hope.

On Monday we took the girls to the beach and made sandcastles, paddled in the icy sea, had ice cream and Chinese for tea. We wanted fish and chips but we left it too late and all the chippies were shut.

Starting to wonder about Robyn's starting days now. We haven't heard anything more from the school apart from she has a place so we have no idea when she will actually start. I am planning on popping in as I want to see about uniform

meglet Wed 08-May-13 22:27:40

debs "getting steadily drunk" envy grin.

ninja Wed 08-May-13 22:54:34

Debs looks fun from the pictures!

Phew! Just checked school starts and the law changed last year www.mumsnet.com/Talk/primary/1750850-Half-days-for-the-first-month-of-school
I thought it did - means the school has to offer ft place from start. I have arranged to work locally for the first week so i can pick her up and take her to school for the first week and then she'll go to breakfast and after school club 4 days a week.

Not sure if it's different in Wales (some mnetters were talking about teachers doing home visits??! my teacher friend does not do that here) but some schools seem to have staggered starts yet DD's friend who turned 4 on 29 august and started reception on 3 sept, went ft from day 1. She's been fine.

Expecting a letter from school soon, but as DD will turn 5 on 17 sept and has been in nursery 8.30am to 5pm 4 days a week since forever, she needs to go ft to school from the start. Plus, I am simply not going to pay £15 a day for up to a month with a childminder I haven't got time to find and visit and settle DD in with, as she finishes nursery on 22 august. That's even if i could find a cm at short notice.

There are quite a few threads from what I can see with people aghast at how schools don't seem to appreciate many families have working parents!

Badvoc Thu 09-May-13 11:33:49

That's good.
Toby's school do offer half time for a week but I dont think we will take them up on it. Don't see the point. Like your dd Toby will be 5 on 25th and I ready I think.
I have never heard of schools doing half time for a month!

meglet Thu 09-May-13 13:20:26

That's better news MrsA. A month of half-days would be a logistical nightmare!

I'm itching to know what teacher DD will get, we don't find out until the middle of June. She will start on her birthday and be having an all class party that weekend so I've got to grab as many parents as I can when we have our pre-visits in July (yes, I know I need my head looking at).

Badvoc Thu 09-May-13 13:32:55

Apparently according to the reception teacher who I chatted to this morning there are only 18 dc "on the books" so to speak for sept which is a big change from last year which was 30!
Apparently the other primary school is the same so maybe it was a low birth rate year?
Am pleased, really. The pre school Toby goes to is small so he would struggle in a massive class I think.
We find out what tutor ds1 has next month at high school <wibble>

We haven't had any info through from school yet, but there's a meeting at playgroup in a week's time about transition to school - didn't have that for DD as she wasn't at the feeder playgroup, just waited to get letter from school about info evening and taster days.

We don't get home visits here, but best friend's school a mile down the road do do them (delays school start by a fair few weeks while they do the visits!). Our school does a staggered start in that the oldest 15 start on the first day of term, and the younger 15 come just two days later. Everyone is automatically given full time, but you can opt out and go for part time/deferred place if you want.

meglet thank you for the birthday party reminder. DS1's birthday isn't until the 25th, but baby is due on the 22nd, so we need to hit the ground running with a party in the first week of term. I guess I'll just invite all his playgroup chums that have gone on to the same school?!

Today has been a long day. Tomorrow I'm anticipating being better, going to one soft play for toddler time in the morning, and a different one after school which also does a meal deal. For me this means a lot of coffee and catching up with mummy friends grin

And in theory we'll be collecting our new car at lunchtime, but I'll believe that when i see it, the dealership have been soooooooo rubbish.

Badvoc Thu 09-May-13 21:15:44

Oh, I forgot our dc shared a bday carrie! smile

Debs75 Fri 10-May-13 21:25:58

We never had half days at the start of term when DD1 was little. In fact we had just moved so we went to the school asked if there was a place and she went the next week. DS didn't do half days as the transport was too difficult to sort so they offered a 2 or 3 day week for a while if the dc was starting at 3. DS was almost 5 so we went with ft.

We have been a bit sneaky with bday parties and am doing a joint one for Robyn and Lucy during the summer holidays. The local soft play is doing a good deal so they will be taking their nursery friends.

meglet Sat 11-May-13 22:13:56

carrie I'm losing track of your DC's now <<doh>>. I'm thinking you've only just had a baby, let alone having the next one in Sept!

I'm trying to blitz some reading and writing practice with DS this weekend. We've been a bit slack on reading lately so I'm determined he'll finish his book this weekend. He also needs to do some handwriting practice, the teacher said he's getting a bit too 'creative' with his letter formation so we've got to rein it in a bit. I suppose he could grow up to be a doctor hmm.

Meglet the worrying thing is when I lose track! DD is 6, DS1 is 4.5 (obviously...) and DS2 is an astounding 20 months!
If you find a way to make handwriting practice fun then do let us know the secret!
We do finally own a new car, hooray! It was not without incident, and I expect to be taking it back for them to replace the brake pads since they told us on the phone that was one of the jobs they were doing in their workshop, but the MOT certificate shows its just an advisory note and they were never actually done. Cowboys.
The company was Quicks by the way, nothing like a bit of anti-recommending them to get my own back ;)

Debs75 Tue 14-May-13 21:29:43

Carrie I am forever going through the list of dc's before I get to the right one.

I hate car buying. Luckily we have one through mobility but when it runs out and if ATOS get their way I'm not sure we will qualify for another. With 4 dc's it can be a nightmare getting a good old car and then having to maintain it, which I know nothing about. Still it is definitely needed and better and easier then public transport.

Badvoc Wed 15-May-13 21:12:19

Had the letter today for all the induction days and meetings for Toby's new class!!
Ds1 had a great time at residential but is still tired. All that hanging from zip wires etc!
Poor Toby now has a haematoma under his cheek from his fall at pils 3 weeks ago sad
Got to take him back next week to see gp.
Just hoping it disperses.
Sigh. Things seem very relentless ATM!...

meglet Wed 15-May-13 22:22:26

carrie I think we can only gradually chip away at getting handwriting neat. I've been getting DS to write a couple of sentences about what he had for lunch and what he liked best at school. Then I can gently help him with a couple of his weakest points. I'm trying to keep it as quick and painless as possible, 5 mins max or else it gets very shouty.

Poor Toby Badvoc sad. Is it something that needs to be operated on if it doesn't settle down?

Badvoc Thu 16-May-13 08:09:04

I don't know meg.
If the gp isn't happy next week we will get referred to the max fax at our local hospital.
Wrt writing and reading, I have found that the easiest way to get them engaged is to find their "hook" so to speak...with ds1 it was anything to do with dinosaurs or animals.
With Toby it's letters and numbers and drawing.
They can write stories, journal entries, do drawings and label them eg: parts of a dinosaur or animal.
Even treasure maps are good for labelling!

notcitrus Thu 16-May-13 19:43:42

Looked round ds's school yesterday. Looks good, lots of facilities other schools don't have, but one big problem.
Not the starting - they do full days from the start (thankfully), staggered over 2-3 weeks (so no idea when first day would be. Great for booking leave for his first week, not!)

But - the new building they're just starting means for some unknown reason no space for before/after school care, and they've terminated the contract with the care company as apparently they weren't satisfactory and kept putting the prices up. They have breakfast club currently for a 'few' kids but that's it.

No afterschool care at all, probably no before school care, and local childminders don't do pickup/dropoff so far away. Joy. Apparently they are 'thinking about doing something' as so many parents are furious...

Will see what the wait lists come up with - secretary at 1st choice said lots of parents leave the waiting lists after the kids get their visits.

Badvoc Fri 17-May-13 19:56:29

Am watching merlin and thinking of your mum. I hope she now has the peace that she didn't find in life x

meglet Sun 19-May-13 19:47:47


DD is currently mucking around when she should be in bed <<sigh>>.

MrsA how are you doing? Even if you don't have the energy to write or to put into words how you're doing, just know that we're all thinking of you.

NC that seems like madness, I hope they listen to the furious outcry!

badvoc and meglet those are great tips for handwriting, thank you. I was thinking about getting the 'big' DCs to do a summer holiday diary, so they can collect things to stick in, and also do a bit of writing practice each day without necessarily realising that's what they're doing mwa ha ha. Has anyone ever done that and did it work, or am I being a bit overambitious?!

We also got our official letter from school last week. The parents' meeting is on 13th June, so we'll find out which class DS1 is in, which teacher and which of his friends from playgroup will be in the same class. Then his first taster session is on Tuesday 18th. Thankfully my mum is visiting that week (only week out of the whole summer term!) so I can just focus on DS1. Its just an hour, 1-2pm, then I can take him out for a milkshake and hear all about it, without having to either entertain DS2, or rush back for DD's pick up at 3pm. He does one other session of an hour, then two mornings with optional staying for lunch <starts hyperventilating, not ready for this>

Badvoc Sun 19-May-13 21:59:33

I will join You in the hyperventilating carrie!
Got Toby's letter about his induction morning, and the parents induction evening, and the informal chat with the teacher!
And a uniform order form!!
(Not ready, not ready, not ready)
Oh, and I am sure soon I will get ds1s induction dates for high school
He only has 7 more weeks at primary school!

Badvoc Sun 19-May-13 22:00:25

Carrie...Melissa and out do a lovely writing and drawing pad - did I mention this already!?
Half the page is lined for writing and the top half is for drawing.
My dc love them.

Badvoc Sun 19-May-13 22:03:31

That should read Melissa and Doug!

Oooh I love Melissa and Doug stuff, that sounds like a great idea for a holiday journal. I was thinking of things to get the DCs as presents from the new baby too, I'd forgotten about their great range of colouring/sticker books.
We had the meeting at playgroup today where they told us about the handover between them and school, and how they meet with the teachers and talk about their individual progress etc. DD didn't go to the feeder playgroup so never had all that and was a 'blank sheet' so to speak from the school's point of view, and has got on great from day 1. I'm actually a bit worried that in the 6 hours a week that playgroup see DS1, they can't have got an accurate picture of him, and I'd rather they said nothing than the wrong thing iyswim!

meglet Tue 21-May-13 21:59:29

So my plan to get DD to stay in bed by promising her some Lelli-bloody-Kelly shoes seems to be working hmm. I've told her if she learns to stay in bed for a whole month she can have some I am stupid and desperate.

carrie you're right, 6hrs a week isn't much to go on. I'm sure they will only be talking about positive things.

I've already got all of DD's uniform for next year, the school had some in stock so I didn't have to wait for them to order it in. I'm trying to label 3 items a night, I have to put labels in DS's bigger size uniform too.

Badvoc Tue 21-May-13 22:03:02

Bribery is very under rated IMO smile
Hope it works!
I got Toby some polo shirts and trousers today at sainsburys as they have a 25% off sale on ATM.

meglet Tue 21-May-13 22:36:37

badvoc our usual bribes are cheaper things like a new Lego minifigure or comic. But if it buys me some peace in the evenings then she can have her lelli kellys with and light up hair free gift (I'll never be allowed on the feminist threads again!) .

I need to have a look in Sainsburys actually, DS legs are growing so I'd better stock up on bigger jeans.

Badvoc Wed 22-May-13 07:19:59

They had some nice stuff...also got ds1 his nerf gun for his birthday at 25% off too!

meg we're with you on the bribery and corruption - currently got an 'eat your dinner nicely' chart going on for the big kids, the reward being they get to choose a magazine based purely on the tacky gift no doubt in the middle of half term if they play their cards right.
My dad bought DD some lelli kellies as party/wedding shoes...and she doesn't understand the £££ they cost and is keeping them for parties and weddings, which means she'll grow out of them and they'll be hardly worn! If this bump turns out to be a boy then the shoes are all yours meg'sDD!

ninja Wed 22-May-13 21:41:13

for writing, the only thing I ever managed to get DD1 to write were shopping lists (she could choose a certin number of items if she wrote the list) and treasure hunt where we wrote clues and each clue led to a place where the next one was. She devised a number of these for me - it was fun too!

Lelli Kelli's actually are reasonable made having had to buy a pair once for DD1 as when she had a slight fracture they were the only sandles she could get on.

Badvoc - hope Toby is OK

I think M is really ready for school, the routine will do her good. Every day is different atm Monday - Dad, Tue - preschool A - Wed Childminder and preschool A, Thur pre-school B, Friday me.

I think her behaviour will improve when she's in a routine

Badvoc Wed 22-May-13 22:01:08

Thanks ninja.
I think he is, it's just a waiting game for the haematoma to go...could be weeks sad
I think Toby is ready too, but I do foresee some issues with settling. He loves staying all day and having lunch at pre school which is good.
There are currently only 17 dc registered for reception in sept so far.
Think it must have been a low birth rate year!

Debs75 Thu 23-May-13 21:23:02

Carrie I love how you have 'big kids' and soon 'little kids' I do that as well. Beware though as it does make you feel oldgrin

meglet Fri 24-May-13 20:58:26

carrie. If DD does end up with a pair of LK shoes then she'll be on strict instructions to wear them every day. I've timed my bribery campaign to end in July when she'll need new shoes anyway grin.

Have you had your 20 week scan already?

Yes we had our scan, DD asked the sonographer whether or not the baby is girl, thankfully she didn't take instructions from a 6yo!
I had to go for wee/roll over/tip the bed to get baby into a good position, so lots of extra time to coo over it grin. It was declared 'perfect' which is wonderful. Dbro and dSIL are due the same time as us and are having twins - they've just found out its one of each, so at least DD will get a female cousin if not a sister!
I bought most of DS1's uniform this week in the M&S 20% sale. Their trousers are nice and slim fitting for his tiny bum, and I know from experience that you can easily get two years out of the polo shirts without them looking manky!
badvoc how is Toby?
ninja not long til Sept, I promise! (in fact its 14 weeks...wink)
meglet the queen of evil genius grin

meglet Mon 27-May-13 22:45:56


DD got hold of some nail varnish again tonight. While I was reading DS's story she snuck into my room and grabbed some glittery stuff and painted her nails with more glitter, although not before testing the red varnish - on my cream duvet cover angry. When I bellowed at her to go to sleep a few minutes later she said she couldn't "because her nails were wet" hmm. FFS.

Handy hint - nail varnish remover doesn't remove nail varnish from fabric. It is now a red smudge.

Hi everyone, hope you had a fun half term! One of my friends had a baby, soooo cute and tiny! They've been given a phil&teds but didn't know how to fold it, or what different configurations it could go in. I was round there in a flash this morning getting way too overexcited by a buggy and demonstrating all its features. Fear I need to get out more!
Hope you're all enjoying the sunshine smile

notcitrus Thu 06-Jun-13 23:35:13

Definitely enjoying sunshine! Dd learnt to properly toddle yesterday, and after lunch ended up walking with A all the way from Bond St through Soho and Chinatown to the Transport Museum, which only had 2 other children in the whole place. And lots of ESOL students.

Dd is often sleeping through, which helps everything. smile

meglet Sun 09-Jun-13 21:15:07


We've been the plague house this weekend. Yesterday I was laid up with tonsilitis and on ice cream while mum too the kids out. Today DD's ear drum burst, as gross as you'd expect, but now the pain has stopped she's running riot again.

nc we've not been to the Transport Museum yet, I must get my act together.

carrie Do you need a new buggy? I still find myself flicking through baby catalogues browsing modern buggy design.

meglet so sorry to hear about yours and DD's poorliness, burst ear drum sounds very unpleasant and quite fascinating

NC great news about the toddling, and the sleeping through!

Sadly we don't need a new buggy wink, still have our phil&teds in the loft. The second seat is held together by a large webbing strap but I think it'll last as long as we need it to - within a year DS2 will be cycling the school run and then I can go back to my trusty maclaren.

Thursday morning we find out whether or not DS1 will be in the same class as his best buddy from playgroup <hyperventilates>

Going to my youngest cousin's wedding on Saturday, I remember visiting him hospital when he was born. Feeling very very old right now!

Hello all. Good to catch up.

Carrie you are not old. I am old. I am 41!!!! I don't feel it. Been doing the 5:2 since April. Losing weight veeeeery slowly, about 1lb a week, but I've dropped a dress size from my bottom half and my clothes are loose (bought trousers from M&S 4 weeks ago which just about fitted, now they are too big which is nice but slightly annoying money-wise). This WOL seems to suit me - I can't be doing with calorie counting or obsessing. I find once you are past about 2pm, the hunger recedes and I even exercise on fast days.

Meglet sorry to hear about illness. My ear drum almost burst when I was a child. My mum was told I might have gone deaf if it had burst completely, so hoping your DD's not that bad. I remember faiting with the ear pain though.

DD is going to school tomorrow to join reception for 2 hours as an introduction. We have my SiL to thank - she's reception TA and so she arranged it on a day when year 1 are out on a trip, so infants is quieter. I thought it was offered to everyone but it seems just DD.......<making the most of nepotism> DD is so excited she could burst and nursery are keeping her dinner for her as she won't be there till gone 12.

We've also got breakfast and after school club sorted - she's booked in 3 days a week (Tues, Thurs & Fri). We didn't get Wed morning which we do need, so have asked again. MiL will collect her Weds pm and DP and I decided between us, we simply had to manage one normal drop off and pick up a week.

She went to an old nursery friend's birthday party at the weekend - the friend now goes to Reception at the school- and I found out there is the tiniest of staggered starts for reception (yay!!). Their first day is one day later than the rest of school and they finish after lunch, then on day 2 it's full on normal hours. DD will arrive at school clutching about 30 party invites as her birthday is on the 17th Sept.

DS is doing well. He is running and trying to climb. He has great understanding of what you say to him, and he's trying to talk. He is also far too strong for my liking smile

Well, we're off to Spain for 2 weeks on Sunday - Eurocamp about an hr from Barcelona. We're camping. With an 18m old runner. Must be mad.

Debs75 Thu 13-Jun-13 21:37:35

Hi everyone just a quick hello. Not been on for a while as DP broke my laptop and it only came back today.
Just wanted to let you all know that we have finally got a new house to move togrin.
It has 4 bedrooms, 2 receptions a utility room, loads of toilets due to the fact it is 2 2 bedroomed houses knocked together. We get the keys on Monday and then we will be covering up the shite decor and moving in bfore the end of June.
Robyn and Lucy will ge their own bedroom and me and DP will get our bedroom back. I am so looking forward to a night in my bed without the girls either side of me. This may take some time as they are both monsters at nedtime and they have only ever known being with us. Still things are looking up.

Badvoc Mon 17-Jun-13 12:36:40

Hello all.
Quick post.
Toby has been really poorly and in hospital on and off for the last 2 weeks sad
He is getting better now and was discharged yesterday.
I have been rushed in twice in bad last month and am currently being investigated for a heart condition...going in today for a 24 hour heart monitor.
All in all it's been a bit crap.
Anyway, Toby is back at pre school as of today and has his induction mooning at reception on Thursday! <wibble> have got all of his uniform and bag etc just need his lunch box and water bottle.
Still got all ds1s to get yet though...
Hope you are all ok x

notcitrus Mon 17-Jun-13 22:19:33

Hope you and Toby get better soon badvoc!

Glad your dd's eardrum burst - eardrums needing bursting is the worst pain ever. They grow over fine the first few times.

A is 2nd on the waiting list for nearest school. The one he'll probably go to is changing uniform and doesn't say what it is on the website, so can't buy yet anyway. Thank goodness MrNC and I can work from home fairly easily as I have no idea how we'll sort out childcare for A before and after school - don't even know what week he'll start, so I've had to book leave at random for his.first week.

Have booked summer holiday to Devon though. smile

Badvoc Tue 18-Jun-13 07:22:45

Devon is lovely NC.
Took ds1 there for his first ever hols.
Burst eardrum!? How awful! Hope she is better meg?
Didn't get much sleep due to bloody heart monitor but I take it back today thank goodness.

badvoc you poor thing brew wine flowers
debs Hooray for the new house, what wonderful news!!
NC how frustrating to know which school/dates/uniform, you sound like you're being remarkably patient!

DS1 had his first taster session at school today. Went in without a backwards glance or a kiss for me which admittedly would have made me cry and came out beaming, with three stickers and full of stories.

They're growing up <sigh>

Badvoc Wed 19-Jun-13 10:58:15

Toby's is tomorrow carrie smile
He is doing a full day today if he is ok.
They are having a teddy bears picnic too.
3 weeks to go to the end of term and ds1 has ripped 2 of his polo shirts and his trousers (bought only 2 months ago) are already too short.
Off to asda I go...

Debs75 Wed 19-Jun-13 21:59:23

Thanks Carrie we have been decorating like mad, well just slapping loads of white paint over the sludgy colours which were up. Did an Ikea run today and would of spent hundreds if we could of fitted it all in the car. Robyn and Lucy loved checking out all the rooms and hiding in the wardrobes.

Hope you are feeling better soon Badvoc must be pretty scary atm.

We finally got the date for Robyn's taster day at school. It is in 2 weeks. She goes from 9.30 till 3 and has to take a small packed lunch with NO chocolate, sweets or fizzy! Are schhols really harsh on packed lunches? I would put in a ham and cheese wrap, tomatoes and grapes a yogurt and drink, maybe some crisps if we had any. Is that good? It is so long since I did packed lunches for kids.
Anyway she is really excited especially as our new house is only 5 mins walk around from the school. I predict we will be late at least 3 mornings a weekblush

Meglet Wed 19-Jun-13 22:58:32


debs we give DD a ham/cheese sandwich, box of chopped cucumber and tomato, and a piece of fruit. She gets a 'friday treat' instead of the fruit, usually a cupcake, or some crisps, or a flapjack or something. Any more than that and she doesn't eat it as she's desperate to get out and play! DS1 is such a slow eater that he'll probably just have a couple of sandwiches and some sliced apple. Also they're not allowed peanut butter at our school due to children with allergies.

Debs75 Thu 20-Jun-13 15:55:46

Another mum told me they aren't allowed milk, cheese or yogurts as they don't have a chiller to store them and it will go manky. Hmm wondering if Robyn will like hot dinners.

Badvoc Thu 20-Jun-13 17:54:50

Toby stays all day on a weds and he has a cheese sandwich (or two), an apple, carrot sticks and cake/chocolate biscuit.
He also has fruit as a snack morning and afternoon.

Meglet Thu 20-Jun-13 21:44:54

carrie Burst ear drums are painful when they are about to go, although if you are already drugged up on night nurse and ill yourself then it's not obvious what's happening and you just get the calpol out blush. Then when they finally go bang the pain stops, the pus oozes out, dripping down the ear and onto the neck and the child skips into greet you good morning while you grab some tissues - fast! I'd heard about them so it wasn't a total shock.

nc yes, the GP said it's not a worry the first time they burst. We skipped hair washing and she's missed a couple of swimming lessons just to be on the safe side.

mrsA DD's ear seems to have healed ok with banana medicine. But I will give her teacher the heads up in case she has hearing problems when she starts school. So pleased to hear you have got the school logistics sorted out smile.

debs Fab news about the house, enough toilets and your own room!

badvoc I wish there was something I could do, you're having a crap time of it sad. Did the induction morning go well?

Badvoc Fri 21-Jun-13 07:05:31

Meg...glad she is ok. Sounds horrific I have to say!
Toby seemed to enjoy his induction. He got 2 stickers...one from the HT smile
He is very proud.
We have an informal chat with his new teacher later today.
I am trying to think of how to describe Toby....smile
Last night we were talking about dinosaurs (natch) and we were discussing about why they all died. I posited the theory about volcanic eruptions altering the climate. He mused on this for a bit and then said "volcanoes....are they the same as hydro thermal vents mummy?"
The boy has been watching too much octonauts!

Meglet Fri 21-Jun-13 10:07:01

badvoc Octonauts is sneakily educational isn't it. We've almost converted to CBBC now, maybe I need to tape some Octonauts to get my fix blush.

Just had a very nice lady come and buy some old shoes and wellies via our local Facebay site. I'm now £7 up and she has a stash of shoes for her kids.

Badvoc Fri 21-Jun-13 10:12:39

I like capt barnacles voice blush
He is very...authoritative and he had polar bear strength!
Was talking about how the dinosaurs died again this morning....I once again posited my volcanic ash altering the climate theory and explained that only mammals survived, like us.
He got very annoyed with me - hands on hips -
"Mummy, we aren't mammals we are persons!"

Meglet Fri 21-Jun-13 11:11:56

Well, that makes my Harry Styles crush look quite sensible in comparison wink.

I quite enjoy watching the DC's trying to get their head around dinosaurs and the concept of them dying out. I'm toying with another visit to the NHM this summer (we went last month), ie; before DD is full price on the trains. I quite like staying in my comfort zone for days out blush.

Badvoc Fri 21-Jun-13 12:36:54

I don't know who that is, so I will assume its someone shameful!? smile
I love the NHM.
We are off to London in August and I might have to take them....for their educational benefit you understand smile

Meglet Sat 22-Jun-13 22:25:24

badvoc I don't know if you've already visited it but the Investigate centre in the basement is brilliant. They let the kids loose with microscopes and they can choose what to look at, the staff were very relaxed, even with DD bouncing around. It's next door to the picnic area.

We've had a day of pottering about, popped to town then watched ET in the afternoon. I can't stand ET but thought it was an essential kids film so I mainly ate popcorn and sewed on name labels instead.

Badvoc Sun 23-Jun-13 08:37:40

Ohhhhh no we haven't been since Toby was tiny and I didn't know about the basement!
We had a movie night last night - Madagascar. I love that film.
<I have never seen ET>

Meglet Mon 24-Jun-13 20:32:38

Badvoc - This should be the link to the Investigate centre. I think the basement and the picnic area are for schools during term time. We went on a Saturday and it was pretty quiet down there, I also liked the fact the toilets have child height sinks and hand driers. The museum opens at 10am on a saturday but we arrived at 9:45 and the doors were already open, so we legged it to the dinosaurs before the crowds built up, then snack time and into the Investigate centre when they opened at 11. I like my schedules grin.

Debs75 Tue 25-Jun-13 11:45:23

Move in day tomorrowshockgrinshock I need an emoticon for "mad panic we haven't got everything ready"
We have had to paint almost the entire house which has left me absolutely knackered. Carpets are going in today and we are going to try and put curtains up then the big move tomorrow. The kids are excited and they aren't even that bothered that most of their toys are packed up.

Does anyone know if we should defrost the whole freezer before the guys take it and how long we have to wait to plug it back in? Ideally we would unplug it when they get here and plug it straight back in when it gets to the house. The house is only 5 mins drive away so it is possible that the stuff won't even start to get warm. Plus there is loads of stuff in it and I won't have a cooker until Thursday/Friday so it would waste. I think I will ring and see if they don't mind it being on until they come.

Better go I should be doing dinner then packing my kitchen not doing important correspondence faffing on mumsnetgrin

See you all when we get broadband back

Badvoc Tue 25-Jun-13 12:04:03

Debs...we moved only 5 mins away too and made sure the freezer was last thing to be unplugged and put on van and first off.
It was fine.
Meg...sounds good. I do love a schedule smile

Meglet Tue 25-Jun-13 20:30:09

All the best for tomorrow Debs. See you on the other side!

debs how did the move go?
meglet I might nick that schedule in the summer when we go to London wink
Two fb friends have had babies in the last two days, and I've been to a baby shower, still in denial that I'll have another person to look after though. Am reminded every time I try and put shoes on though, the floor is a loooooooong way away now.

Found out that one of the friends who had a baby gave birth in the car on the way to hospital shock

So...TMI...I've self diagnosed a vaginal wall prolapse. Gulp. Seeing the midwife on Friday (will be nearly 29 weeks) <sob> Anyone with any experience really positive stories to share with me?!!!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Mon 01-Jul-13 21:19:14

<does a long lost wave> hello everyone

I don't have any prolapse experience. All I would say is once you've had the baby and your vagina is back to what you believe is 'normal', if you still think things aren't quite right then don't be fobbed off by your GP. I am often astounded by how often woman are fobbed off HCP when it comes to vag ishoos post birth.

This thread and you lovely ladies have been in my thoughts as September looms. M has been to the school for a school dinner and loved it (phew), and has had one of three afternoons there. I cried after dropping him off, it feels like such a hugely emotional time yet he is taking it all in his stride.

His uniform arrived today. It is still in its wrapper. I'm certainly not in denial. Oh no ...............

I'll now go and read the thread x

Badvoc Tue 02-Jul-13 19:28:04

Carrie...my mum has one and had had for some years.
She has been offered an op but refused.
It doesn't really affect her day to day.
Ds1 only has 8 days left at primary school!
Got all Toby's uniform. Just need to get his lunch box etc.
He has a morning in reception on Thursday.
I'm not ready! <wails>

Debs75 Wed 03-Jul-13 21:47:04

I'm back!!

House move went ok, everything got here in one piece. A few too many things came with is as i didn't have time to have a proper sort out. I have 3 bin bags and 2 boxes of stuff for the charity shop. We finally move out of the old house on Friday. DS's Safespace gets moved then so we have had loads of time to rip up carpets and laminate and move the final pieces of tat stuff. Just the shed to do tomorrow and we can say goodbye to our house officially on Friday,

Went to Robyn's school on Monday for a chat with the headmistress. We got a welcome pack and a few forms to fill in. Looking forward to next weeks full day visitsad I think. Have a huge list of uniform to start getting her over the holidays

Hooray, welcome back debs! Sounds like you've done a brilliant job of moving all of you and your things, enjoy the new pad!
I suggested 'Fernando' as a baby name today, during the tennis, and DS1 gave me a look of utter disdain and said "not for a girl". I fear there's going to be great disappointment all round if this baby is another boy...!

Welcome back Deb! Well done on the move.

Dropped C off at school for the first time today - felt v strange standing in playground with other parents. She finishes at 1.30. I was surprisingly chilled out and fine with it. She was a bit nervous but OK. DP was emotional!! Had parents evening last night - so pleased we chose this school. V impressed and I've signed up to PTA for Sept.

The other school we were considering (small class sizes, village-style) has just had an awful Estyn report (welsh equivalent of ofsted). Our school is the nearest to that one and is full, so god knows where parents will go if they want to move their children out.

Despite having 2 receptions, DD is in a class of 22 and her teacher is my kind of person so I'm happy.

Next mission - to get on the board of governors.

Just clicked on the safespace link Debs very impressive.

notcitrus Fri 05-Jul-13 12:24:51

Seconding the Investigate Centre in the NHM basement - not only are the toilets the most deserted in the place, but even in half-term when there was 30 min queues to get in the building and no way to see dinosaurs that day, we got in the next slot (30 mins) to investigate and were allowed to stay into the next one too. And they let 3yo A stand on a windowsill so he could look down a microscope. If going in hols, recommend walking round the building to go in the back (Earth Galleries) entrance - few steps but no queues!

Home visit from A's school next week, but we're away when they get to go to the school and meet teacher etc. Hoping to get kitchen knocked down next month, bit nervous about cost of it all, not to mention losing 3 rooms while it's done (dining room floor needs to come up, tenant moves into spare room).

Time to change my username I think - outed myself a bit too much over the last 5 years. [eyes desk for inspiration]

Meglet Fri 05-Jul-13 14:07:02

carrie if you do go to the NHM this summer then IME you are better off getting there at silly o'clock for opening time and doing the dinosaurs straight away. They do have timed tickets for the dino's later in the day but I saw the queue around 12pm and you couldn't have paid me to stand in there with my dc's, it snakes down the corridor.

I share your gynea trauma. I've had a bad cough recently and not only has it given me piles (now settling down thank GOD!) but I went to the GP's yesterday as I've had some aches in my pelvis and she said I have a very slight dropping at the top of my vagina. This could be linked to my hysterectomy, the cough putting pressure on my pelvic floor and a possibly early menopause. So it's blood tests for me and HRT if necessary. Otherwise my pelvic floor is water tight, but it's been feeling a bit odd the last week so I thought I'd better get it checked out. <<clench......clench......clench>>

DD had her school visit this morning. It went boringly smoothly smile.

Badvoc Fri 05-Jul-13 15:10:00

Meg...my gp put me on HRT on weds!
Hope it helps sad

Meglet Fri 05-Jul-13 17:11:12

badvoc I need to read up on it. The GP was a bit snooty when I said I knew my body was changing but at least she's asked for the blood test. Part of me wonders if my body will perk up once DD is at school, she might sleep properly and I'll get 2 days a week to myself.

How long can it take for HRT to kick in?

Badvoc Fri 05-Jul-13 17:27:20

My gp told me a week
Do you still have your ovaries meg?
If so you could be In What my gp called "hormonal drift" (think it used to be called peri menopause)
Ask for a blood panel to be done...fsh etc.
Am praying it works for me sad

Meglet Fri 05-Jul-13 17:41:35

Yes, they took my womb and cervix (after the dodgy smear tests) but left my ovaries. I'm 39 so something is bound to be happening, maybe I'm more sensitive to it as I'm so burnt out. although I'm currently lolling on my bed watching tennis while the kids watch cbbc downstairs

I hope you start to feel better soon.

Badvoc Fri 05-Jul-13 17:45:14

I am 40 so we are similar ages I am ignoring that You are younger than me smile
I hope so too...it's been a rough few months sad

Meglet Sun 07-Jul-13 22:02:31


badvoc I must book my blood test tomorrow.

Hope everyone has had a good weekend. We've had a 'quiet' day at home today. I was trying to balance the kids getting some sun and fresh air V the kids getting too hot or sunburnt. I've tried to stop using sun cream unless it's a big day out, they seem to be ok with just hats and t-shirts for the garden, no burning and barely any colour at all TBH. DD's skin has started flaring up with sun cream, the 8 hour stuff seems to be the culprit.

Badvoc Mon 08-Jul-13 07:15:46

Ds1 caught the sun yeaterday as dh thought it was ok for them to go out in the sun without hats or sin screen on.
I mean, Ffs!
That brought on the rage.
Last week of pre school and primary for my 2 so it's going to be an emotional week for me

Meglet Mon 08-Jul-13 10:07:15

So far I've only had to deal with one case of sunburn, thankfully very small. We were at the beach a couple of years ago and the kids were all covered up, 50spf block, hats, sun tent etc...aren't I a good mother hmm. Except DS had a baseball cap on and one of his ears was poking out all day sad. So he had a painful blister on the top of his ear for a couple of days. We've learnt our lesson now, if DS is out all day he has to wear a proper sun hat not a baseball cap.

Badvoc Mon 08-Jul-13 12:38:55

Ah, yes. I have been caught out like that before.
Note to self....need more sun screen!
Well...one horrid thing over. Presentation at ds2s pre school which is closing sad
The other parents asked me to say a few words which I did - and I managed not to cry!
Just got the leavers tea and disco and leavers assembly to go....

We had a wonderful day at the beach on Saturday, the only sunburn was on DH who forgot to put any cream on that triangle where his t-shirt top button was undone. He had a hat and his collar up, but spent all day paddling so the sun will have reflected off the water. DD has heat rash all across her chest, and DS2 has it on the back of his neck. Not sure the best thing to do about it. DD's eczema has flared up too, I guess its from all the suncream, but I'm not prepared to let her out in the sun all day without it!
This week is the auspicious moment of the first school disco...and first sports day (last year's one was rained off) and the first time I've let DD have school dinners. All are being sold to her as rewards for her great school report grin

Have you booked the blood test meg? <stern face and wagging finger>

Still can't find a boy's name I love...suggested Sebastian to DH today but he said 'only if the baby is German'. Back to the drawing board!

Badvoc Mon 08-Jul-13 13:51:03

Oooohh carrie!
I can tell you all my boys names I couldn't use!;


My pils are rather....conservative....when it comes to names. They were really annoying me one day and kept going on and on about how they like biblical names (so do I as it happens) so I cheerfully agreed and asked them how they liked "Herod" for a boy smile

I am a bit naughty sometimes smile

Badvoc I adore the name Joel, but DH doesn't so its DS1's middle name! I also adore DS2's middle name - Jonah - but didn't at the time, hence its a middle name and not up for grabs now!
DS1 keeps suggesting Peter but a close relative has that name so I'd find it weird. Not so keen on Elvis, but perhaps if I push for it, DH will let me have Sebastian as the lesser of two evils wink
Keep the suggestions coming, all will be considered! I don't know how much preg brain is affecting my opinions, I'm starting to think baby names should be chosen and committed to when there's no actual baby to blur your thinking!

Meglet Tue 09-Jul-13 07:44:07

I'm hopeless with names, all I can suggest is...

Ferris grin

I quite like Peter but I'd avoid a name if a relative was already called it.

I'll sort my blood test out today, I forgot to call yesterday.

Badvoc Tue 09-Jul-13 07:56:06

Meg <stern look> smile
Carrie....I can always think of loads of boys names - it's girls names I struggle with.
Like Percy!
How about....
Freddie (my wonderful nephews name smile)
Toby (smile)
Thomas (smile)

Meglet Tue 09-Jul-13 21:44:15

I forgot to call the GP's for my blood test today. Work was busy so it slipped off my 'to-do' list and my phone battery was almost dead when I came home. <<excuses excuses>> I must do it tomorrow.

Orson is a cool name. DS knows an Orson but calls him 'Awesome'.

Badvoc Tue 09-Jul-13 21:50:53

Orson is cool
How about guy?

Badvoc Tue 09-Jul-13 21:52:04

Meg...I am currently pursing my lips in a disapproving fashion smile
I had my bloods done on Friday....6 test tubes worth! Poor gp is just testing for everything!

teabagpleb Wed 10-Jul-13 19:20:35

Namechanged. Feels odd!

A is taking his big brotherly responsibilities very seriously by watching Charlie & Lola on repeat. smile He seemed to like the school staff who came on a home visit. No idea how we will sort out childcare before and after though.

Boy names: some classics have become really rare - Paul, Peter, Simon, David, Martin, Mark, Frank...

Debs75 Wed 10-Jul-13 20:45:56

Not had to do boys names really but I do like


It is Robyn's last day at nursery tomorrowsad so we have bought a huge tin of quality street and a card for them. She is very excited about giving them the present but once she realises it is really her last day I think there will be tears.
Settling in nicely here, We still have the keys for the last house as we are taking our refuse bins so waiting for them to take them tomorrow so they will be empty and easy to push down the street. Keys will definitely be out of our hands by this Friday.

Meglet Wed 10-Jul-13 21:58:46

teabag a baby Frank would be sooo cute!

Oooh some interesting ideas there!

Some would have to be vetoed due to family/close friends/ex-boyfriend connections sadly, one of them I love but is my name spelled backwards...ever since that was pointed out to me I've gone off it!

Interestingly Alexander and Joshua were the two names on the shortlist for DS2, but neither suited him, so they're back on the list this time. I just don't love them, but maybe they'll suit this baby?

Nathaniel was the only boy's name we had in our heads for DD, good idea to put that back in the running. Also I had been wondering about Dylan, that's a name that's growing on me. Similarly Thomas/Tom. Is Harry too popular at the moment...?

teabag 'Dave' is the only baby name suggestion DS2 has made grin I like Mark too, but we have a very short surname, so not sure. Did wonder about Matthew, but not sure if it goes with our other boys' names. Hmm.

debs how did the last day of nursery go?

meglet have you phoned the doctor???

DS1's last day of playgroup is next Friday. We've had his report which is very comprehensive, but I don't think particularly accurate since he's only been there 6 hours a week and there's a whole load of stuff they've not ticked off him being able to do because they've simply never seen it. The report goes to school, so I worry about them having wrong impression of him (I actually wish he could start with a clean slate rather than them having a preconceived idea of what all the playgroup kids are like). I don't know whether or not to say anything on the report feedback form or just leave it.

DD had her first sports day yesterday. She won her first two races (we had no idea she was fast, neither did she it turns out!) but came miles behind in the egg and spoon race - she was so intent on keeping the egg on the spoon that she totally forgot the racing element, she crossed the line ages after everyone else with the biggest grin on her face, having the time of her life, it was so cute!

Badvoc Thu 11-Jul-13 15:41:10

I am biased about Tom smile it's ds1s name smile
And my youngest nephew is Dylan smile

Meglet Thu 11-Jul-13 21:22:50

Yes, I've phoned the doctor smile. Got my blood tests next friday.

I'm not sure when I'll see DD's nursery EYFS report. I think her new teacher already has it so I won't see it for a while, trying to remember how they did it with DS actually confused.

Badvoc Thu 11-Jul-13 21:25:56

Good news meg.
My results will be back tomorrow but I'm not ringing til I get back from hols.

Evening!!! grin

Meglet Thu 11-Jul-13 21:45:38


teabagpleb Fri 12-Jul-13 11:13:53

Dylan is hugely popular atm - 4 of the 7 boys in A's class are Dylan/Dilan. And dn has at least two in his class.

Meglet we had Frank as our boy name for years. About half way through pregnancy it dawned that it would be too much like Magnus Magnusson! Actually Magnus is a good name, though the small one I know is doomed to being called Magnet by everyone, but better that than Maggie! smile

Oh as if a prolapse wasn't enough I now have piles <weeps> Its like my insides are making a bid for freedom <sob>


After the royal baby.

King Bernard

Debs75 Mon 15-Jul-13 22:19:58

Carrie it was fine. She took in a card and chocs and the staff and kids made her a good luck card as well. The staff were all sad to see her go as they all think she is a little minx. Lucy missed her on Friday. When we dropped her off, she ran into Robyn's old room and asked for her then got a bit teary. She is supposed to be there this week but I might let them play at home together.

How are they coping with the heat? It is boiling in our house and putting them to bed tonight was horrendous it is so hot and sticky.

starlight I live in fear of the royal baby having our favourite girl's name - its like when I was expecting DS2 in 2011 and the Beckhams were pg, I knew that whatever name they used would instantly become uncool!!

debs glad it went well! DS1 has his last playgroup on Friday <sob>

Meglet Wed 17-Jul-13 22:21:00

debs I've been sending mine to bed with cold water bottles, ie; old mineral water bottles refilled and frozen. They have been under strict instructions to hold them when they get hot or pop them on their pillows to chill it a bit.

And weirdly, DD who has frankly been a bloody terror at bedtime for 2yrs, has started going to bed without a fight the last few nights. I know she's been watching a couple of older children playing out of her window but she's stopped running riot almost overnight.

oh carrie. Your poor pelvic floor sad. Is everything else ok with the pregnancy though?

meglet other than that yes, everything is going well! Been lent a couple of summer skirts which is nice, I've been melting in the heat as I have very few really summery maternity items, but I'm not buying any more at this late stage!
Just had my last ever pre-school morning with DS1, what a little treasure he is, gonna miss him so much in Sept sad
I love the cold water bottle idea! Might try that with DD, she's the only one who's been struggling.

Meglet Fri 19-Jul-13 18:12:11

Why did I think buying water pistols would keep them quiet for a bit hmm.

Debs75 Fri 19-Jul-13 21:47:13

Meglet I bought mine a paddling pool. After 5 shops 3 shopping trips and a very mardy sales assistant I got a nice sized one, big enough for me and DP to sit in whilst the kids splash but not too big that we would take hours blowing it up. Got it home half pumped and realised we have no hose or outside tap in the new houseblush A few dozen trips with the buckets and we had a few inches of water.
Well me and DP had loads of fun, we got thoroughly soaked and the kids went in after 20 minutes.

Nighttimes are still being a pain but at least I'm not pregnant in this heat. Sorry Carrie I can imagine you are melting away in this heat. Thankfully it has cooled a bit tonight.

Lucy's last day at nursery today and DS's last day at school. 6 long weeks of children cluttering up my housesad HELP!

Badvoc Sat 20-Jul-13 17:45:34

Back from hols.
Had a fab time smile

Meglet Sat 20-Jul-13 19:02:04

Glad you had a good time badvoc.

I've already packed the beach stuff in the car and we don't go until next month.

oh dear debs. Slight glitch in your paddling pool plans wasn't there!

Meglet Mon 22-Jul-13 12:00:11

I've just realised I never updated you on my ASD assessment. I had the ADOS test a couple of weeks ago and got a 'borderline' result. I'm slightly annoyed with it TBH as I had a fairly normal result on the interaction / talking part of the test, but it's down to it being learnt behaviour and chatting 'by numbers'. Apparently if I'd had it as teenager I would have been more likely to get a formal diagnosis as I hadn't learnt the techniques for socialising, but the test has to go on how I behave on the day. So, I still find dealing with people difficult but I won't get any support

My DSIS works in mental health within the same health authority and says that particular centre are forever giving out non-ASD diagnosis's even when their patients are textbook hmm.

Badvoc Mon 22-Jul-13 12:01:53

What a bloody shambles it all is Meglet.
Can you go to another HA?

You can a) get a second opinion and b) get a dx of ASD regardless of an ADOS score as it is an assessment TOOL not the friggin oracle.

Write to the HA ASAP clarifying your score and what they said about how you woukd have got a dx as a teen but you have learnt to 'chat by numbers'. This will help you later if you need to follow up and it 'might' get them to change their minds.

Meglet Mon 22-Jul-13 13:34:34

I'm considering a second opinion, although I'll deal with it in the autumn once both the kids are at school.

It did occur to me to see if my CAHM's notes from 20+ yrs ago are still stashed away in my records. They'd be interesting reading.

Yes, but still write that letter. I suspect Badvoc will back me up on that!?

It's really important that these professional opinions are recorded somewhere even if it is by you. It will help paint a picture going forward. You don't have to say you disagree, just write to 'clarify' and to make sure you haven't 'misunderstood'. This will give you paper evidence iyswim.

Badvoc Mon 22-Jul-13 14:26:05

I do indeed star!
It's always helpful t have a written record of what's been said (or even more importantly not said)

Hmph. Didn't realise how much I like the name Alexander until it was taken away as an option...

meglet sorry about the non-dx, but great advice on here as always!

debs have you worked a way around the paddling pool situation yet? My solution is to go and play in someone else's tomorrow grin. In general how are you liking the new house?

Today I saw the physio about my prolapse/piles situation and got some great advice and exercises so I feel much more in control, and she advised best positions for labour and delivery. Loving the NHS - today I've been to the dentist, had half an hour 1-2-1 with a physio, and got a prescription, all for free! Well, all for DH's tax contributions grin

We've been doing a summer holiday scrapbook project - homework by stealth mwa ha ha ha! DD has written loads, its great practice! Today they didn't want to wear their stickers from the dentist but brought them home still on the backing paper to put straight in their scrapbooks! We surprised the kids after dinner tonight by bundling them into the car and taking them into town for pudding (on tesco vouchers grin). Love the holidays smile

Debs75 Wed 24-Jul-13 21:01:00

Carrie we got it half filled which was enough for the kids. Am hoping it is hot tomorrow so we can go back in it, after a few more trips with a bucketblush
Don't be put off they have only picked it as a middle name. Alexander was one of my favourite names as well

We are loving the new house, finding a few niggly things such as boiler is different to ours and we are always almost breaking it then realising it doesn't work like our old one did.
We are also more organised atm. We did throw away absolutely loads of useless tat so the rooms are less cluttered. Not sure how long it will last but I actually like tidying and hovering this house.
Still some decorating to do, not even started on the kitchens and bathrooms or our room and DD1's still needs a second coat of paint. As long as hers is finished before Christmas I don't mind chipping away at the rest of the house and garden

Meglet Wed 24-Jul-13 22:07:49

Glad to know they're helping you so much carrie.

Thank you for the advice star and badvoc, I will get something written down sooner than later.

DH just booked a hotel for our 10th wedding anniversary...got money off through Co-op membership, cash back, free cream tea, £10 room credit and tesco points. They're practically paying us to go grin

Badvoc Tue 30-Jul-13 14:34:25

My beloved dad collapsed and died at a family wedding on Saturday.
Despite dh and I doing CPR they couldn't save him.
Later that night my mum had a stress induced heart attack (known as broken heart syndrome)
I am broken.

Debs75 Tue 30-Jul-13 18:10:32

OH Badvoc I am so sorry for you. I don't know what I can say to help you but please know that we are all here for you if you need us.
How are the boys doing? I think sometimes the kids keep the adults strong as we often don't want to break down in front of them.
I hope your mum is recovering from her heart attack.
I really don't know what to say now so sending you and your family huge hugs and again we are all here for you should you need us.

teabagpleb Tue 30-Jul-13 18:22:15

Many condolences Badvoc.

I've just got home after A having 24 hours in hospital after breaking his arm. He's plastered from palm to above the elbow, but pain seems to have subsided. Hopefully a hospital near Exmoor will agree to do his checkup next week so we can still go on holiday. Didn't think any ward could be less conducive to sleep than post-natal, but Paediatrics was worse...

Badvoc Tue 30-Jul-13 18:36:05

Thank you.
I am just numb.
I can't believe he is gone.
I hope As arm is better soon.

badvoc I am so, so sorry. Words can't bring him back but they can keep his memory alive, we'd love to hear about him if you'd like to share. Few people get to be called 'beloved' so he must have been a very special man. And your poor mum. Its ok to cry and not be strong for everyone, be kind to yourself flowers

teabag how traumatic (both the broken arm and the night on paediatrics!) How did he break it? <nosy> Really really hope you can still go on your holiday.

Makes DS1s punctured vein in his blood test on Monday seem quite insignificant...although you wouldn't think it given the way he screamed the hospital down...

There are five of us locally who are friends and expecting babies within 9 weeks of each other (I'm last envy) and the first was born yesterday (10lb 8oz!!! OUCH!!!). Feels like a roller coaster and now there's no getting off til we've had ours!

Badvoc Wed 31-Jul-13 20:56:35

Carrie....thank you.
Dad was 67. He was still working...he said he didn't want to retire (much to mums disgust).
We were going to a family wedding in Aylesbury and we had juts checked into our hotel. My mum phoned me from their room hysterical saying he had collapsed.
I was in their room within 30 seconds, but he had gone.
Dh and I did CPR until the ambulance arrived, and dh continued ventilating him in the ambulance, but he was gone.
My lovely dad.
He was wonderful.
Everyone loved him.
His friend from work came to the house this morning with a card....it's hard seeing such a big butch guy weep.
He lived for his family...my mum, siblings, me and his 5 gc.
He was funny, and kind and stubborn and loved cream cakes and doughnuts.
He and my mother were married for 42 years. They consultant told me mum has got a broken heart and they can't medicate for that.
What are you supposed to do without your dad?

teabagpleb Thu 01-Aug-13 13:50:03

Carrie A was standing on a climbing frame ladder, about 2 feet off the ground, and decided to let go... went over backwards.

After various phone calls we have an appt in Taunton while we are away, so shouldn't affect holiday too much. He hates getting wet or mucky anyway and didn't want to go horse riding. Just need to get some more sweatpants for him. He's back at nursery today and his friends have made him a huge glittery card with some attempts at signing names inside [sniff].

The hospital staff were all great, but all the stories about hospitals etc miss out a really important factor to small children - the amount of faffing and waiting around! He's slept through both nights since coming home, so clearly not in pain - we're just dosing regularly with paracetamol.

Meglet Mon 12-Aug-13 13:32:31

bookmarking, I fell off here ages ago blush.

teabagpleb Wed 14-Aug-13 11:26:38

Back from holiday. Despite yet more aggro from the council planners (they told the architect our skylights wouldn't count against height, being see-through; the head planner supposed to rubber-stamp the decision refused to allow them, so was another week before the same plan with shorter skylights was approved), we have now chosen a builder and should have our kitchen knocked down next Wednesday.

A's arm is healing nicely but will be another 2 weeks before he gets above-elbow plaster off, then two more weeks for the rest of it, so will be after he starts school. Had better order some uniform and give official notice to nursery...

Hi everyone, just got back from lovely two weeks away. Although our car developed a fuel pump problem and had to be left down south, we've driven back in mum's car, and she's coming up on the train to collect it tomorrow. Then in a week or so, dad will drive our car up, and get the train back! Its gonna cost me fortune in interflora and gin [weeps]
teabag glad A's arm is healing, and very glad he doesn't seem to be too affected by it!
badvoc how are you doing? And how's your mum?

Can anyone dredge their mind back to pregnancy and tell me if they had strong braxton hicks contractions at 35 weeks? I'm so SO not ready to have this baby!!!
On the plus side, I know the shortlist of names for dBro's babies and there are no clashes with our shortlist, phew. Their twins should be born the same week as my baby, poor mum won't know which end of the country to be!!

Badvoc Mon 19-Aug-13 21:32:23

Mum is doing ok thanks carrie.
On lots of meds.
Dads funeral went ok. Church was packed. And crem. Dh did the eulogy and I read a poem.
His ashes are being interred on weds morning.
I am dads executor so I have been having to sort out all the paperwork etc. so many forms! HMRC don't make it easy.
Spent this evening with my mum and sis choosing dads headstone.
God, it's awful sad
Iirc I had Brixton hicks from 33 weeks! Your mum will be busy!

Meglet Tue 20-Aug-13 21:18:21

badvoc So sorry to hear what you're all going through sad.

My parenting has hit a new low, DD is still up (see my GBBO FB update)and I'm letting her watch the midwives, although I mistakenly thought it might scare her into bed. She's just watched the c-section and is grilling me with questions. I'll make a consultant of her yet.

Badvoc Tue 20-Aug-13 21:35:07

Thanks meg.
Tomorrow is our final goodbye.
Still can't believe he is gone.

Meglet Tue 20-Aug-13 21:52:11

I can't imagine what it must be like to lose someone so suddenly. Are you staying with your mum?

Badvoc Tue 20-Aug-13 22:13:54

My sister is ATM. Her dh and dc are back abroad finishing off their interrupted holiday.
My sis and I were taking it in turns to stay with her to begin with.
It's so surreal.
I was there when he died. I saw him at the hospital and then again in the chapel of rest. We had a funeral. And I still can't believe it.
I keep expecting to see his car outside mums house. Or him to walk through my front door.
I miss him.

Badvoc Tue 20-Aug-13 22:16:08

Oh, and trust me, your parenting cannot have reached the lows mine has over the past 3 weeks!
I have been very shouty and Impatient with them.
I feel pulled in all directions ATM and its taking its toll.
I haven't slept properly since it all happened.

badvoc its totally understandable, TV is your friend and co-parent! Things will get better, the lack of term-time routine won't be helping, so be kind to yourself.
Grief is a long journey, and at times it will hit you more than others. I still think of telling my Gran something, and she died 10 years ago, we go on missing people even when the initial shock has long since subsided.
I hope tomorrow goes as well as these things can, that you are able to say goodbye and feel that you gave him a fitting farewell. He will never, ever, be out of your lives <hugs>

Badvoc Wed 21-Aug-13 07:41:48

Thank you carrie x
It is a simple truth.
Grief is the price we pay for love.

teabagpleb Wed 21-Aug-13 09:03:10

Well it's all happening here - back of our house is due to be knocked down tomorrow! All our kitchen is now in the dining room, and A is looking forward to swinging a hammer and smashng up the remaining kitchen units (they keep falling apart anyway, so should be quite easy...)
Just hope dd gets used to me sleeping in 'her' ie my room again, as last night was hideous, wanting me every few minutes just as I'd dozed off again. And I can't co-sleep because she's a violent little sod. You'd think the novelty of punching me in the face would have worn off by now. sad

badvoc how did today go? I was thinking of you lots.

teabag it is worth all the hassle of renovations, I promise! At least I can say that three years the other side of going through it ;)

Today we built the bunk beds, never have the big kids been so excited to go to bed! Sadly DS2 is still awake a full 2 hours after his bedtime. Apparently he was talking about diggers...and when I went up to check on him he was sitting up with his sleeping bag undone. Here's hoping the novelty wears off in the next two weeks before they go back to school <hopeful>

Badvoc Wed 21-Aug-13 21:12:45

Hi carrie.
It was so good to have dad "home" at last iyswm?
Very emotional. Very sad. Very strange day.
Bunk beds? How exciting!
Remind me...my brain has turned to mush...when is your due date? X

Meglet Wed 21-Aug-13 21:27:12

badvoc After dad died it took me months to start to snap out of the habit of thinking "oh, I'd better ring dad to check that....." or waiting for him to text me some warped humour topical joke when something was in the news sad.

teabag how did A get on bashing the kitchen units?

Badvoc Wed 21-Aug-13 21:40:16

Oh meg sad I know just his you feel. I just miss him so much. I feel empty and hollow and nothing will ever be the same again.
I saw someone who was at the funeral yesterday and we were chatting about dad and what a wonderful person he was and we were talking
About my siblings she said "you know you are the most like him don't you?" And it just made me feel so bereft.
Dad and I shared such a silly sense of humour. We even look alike. We shared a love of books. And doughnuts. He was such a kind and gentle man.
I wish I was half the person he was.

Badvoc Wed 21-Aug-13 21:40:58

Tea bag....I recommend a lump hammer for bashing kitchen cupboards.
I found it very therapeutic! smile

Due date one month today...! If I remember to take a bump photo any time soon then I'll post it to my profile! Still doing my own head in wondering if its a boy or girl. I feel more like I did with DD, but carrying more like DS2. And my latest symptom is hot flushes, mmmm attractive!

Just had a friend round for the morning with her 4, 3, and 1 year old, plus 11 week old baby...she made it look easy and said 4th labour followed the pattern of the others and was fine, really hope the same is true of mine!

Having taken 2 hours to fall asleep last night, DS2 didn't wake up too early, but he's still too young to understand that if the sun isn't up on the gro-clock then its still night-time. I could hear him trying to attract DD and DS1's attention but they were being very good at ignoring him. DD keeps thinking of things that she 'needs' to do on her top bunk, so glad she's enjoying it! Suppose I'd better start putting baby things in the now vacated box room confused

badvoc look after yourself and let the tears flow, keep telling us about your wonderful dad if that helps, he sounds really special. And you meg, and MrsA and all those who've lost loved ones recently.

teabag how is operation destruction going?

The heatwave has returned with a vengeance today = muchos washing on the line! Randomly felt the need to wash everyone's winter coats. Nesting much?!

Badvoc Thu 22-Aug-13 13:45:16

Ah. Yes. Nesting. With ds1 I defrosted the fridge freezer 3 days before I went into labour. At 2am. Dh thought I was demented.
I have done 2 loads of washing today too. Something very satisfying about seeing lots if washing flapping in the breeze, isn't there?
I think dads death is affecting the dc more than I thought. Toby is uber clingy ATM And ds1 quite tearful.
We are still getting cards from people. Some are so lovely and they write such kind things.
What a kind and gentle man he was.

teabagpleb Thu 22-Aug-13 20:10:56

Destruction has gone efficiently so far - we got A to pull a drawer off before being dragged to nursery in the rain. Builders turned up promptly this morning, have filled a skip, put up initial partition, and there is huge pile of stuff in the garden for tomorrow's skip.

Only 8 weeks to go... now we need to get A's new room finished as fast as possible, but that means filling holes, lots of plastering, plus coving and many coats of paint. Having a night off with a takeaway, but then need to get that done. Dd was a bit better last night at least.

Debs75 Mon 26-Aug-13 09:16:49

I keep missing this thread.

Carrie I had BH with dd1 and ds quite early, dd1 was late and ds qas 1 day early

Badvoc have a huge hug from all of us. It is hard to 'get over' the death of someone so close and I don't think you ever really do. If you need to cry then cry. You may find that you have a 'nesting' type instinct and just feel you have to do a certain chore. Go with it, it may seem daft or irrelevant but it will help you.

Are we all getting excited about school next week? I have all the uniform ready with names sewn in. I have worked out a rough morning routine and just need to buy school shoes, that will be most of this months money gone.
Are we all going to post pics of the dc's in their uniform? Robyn wants to put hers on everyday

teabagpleb Mon 26-Aug-13 10:05:13

A screamed at the sight of his school trousers. I suspect other kids are bigging up school to be scary as he's fine about it after playing with dn, but then after nursery says he never wants to go to school, ever!

I think I'll try getting him to wear uniform after seeing other kids in it (he starts a week after the start of term) - his polo shirts haven't turned up yet. Shoe shopping is planned for Wednesday or failing that after schools start back...

Missing my garden now the weather is nice again. Especially for laundry. I've been putting an airer with nappies in the front yard but don't want to risk clothes getting nicked!

Meglet Mon 26-Aug-13 22:22:30

We need to do a uniform dressing session.

How one gets a stubborn 4yo with some sensory issues to leave her leggings and crocs for school uniform I have no idea. I've basically bought loads of things in the hope she finds something comfy and doesn't kick off. Winter should be ok as the trousers look comfy but I'm not sure if she is going to be ok with shorts, skirts (unlikely) or cullottes for the autumn.

Badvoc Mon 26-Aug-13 22:49:32

Thank you debs x
Toby is quite excited about his new uniform. His behaviour has really deteriorated since dad died and I don't really know what to do about it sad

I like the idea of posting photos of our DCs in their new uniforms smile
meglet we found some really soft trousers (jersey fabric but cut with bootleg) in Asda, would your DD wear those? Lots of kids wear their winter uniform throughout the summer term, so I'm sure it won't matter if she's not in summer uniform, she just might be a bit warm!
Everything is labelled here except DD's new winter coat that we bought on Saturday.
badvoc I know you'll be doing an amazing job of giving Toby lots and lots of love and cuddles, he will turn a corner, and I expect school will help. Not long to go flowers
Our car is still broken. Having been 'fixed' last week, dad tried to take it out to fill up with diesel on Sunday and it wouldn't start again sad So today its gone back to the garage. I'm actually glad the car is stuck down south, dad has made it his mission to get to the bottom of the problems, and he won't drive it the 250miles north for us until he's confident its fixed, so I think its in better hands than it would be up here! Just hope we have it back before I go into labour confused
debs that's good to hear that BH don't have to mean early baby!

Badvoc Tue 27-Aug-13 14:41:30

Sorry to hear about the car carrie.
Are we posting uniform pics!? smile

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Tue 27-Aug-13 15:00:42

I just saw this thread pop up in active convos, so had to come and say hello

I'm so sorry about your dad Badvoc, I should imagine you feel like a rug has been pulled out from underneath you. We see our parents as a constant in our lives, so not having them there must be very difficult {{hugs}}

I'll post a pic of ds in his uniform ........ once I wipe away the tears #pathetic.

Badvoc Tue 27-Aug-13 15:10:06

Thank you ILTMIMI
It's been such a dreadful time.

Debs75 Tue 27-Aug-13 21:00:36

I will definitely post a pic of Robyn in her uniform. She would go put it on now if I let her.

Badvoc he has gone through a hard time. I think give him lots of praise for the good stuff and lots of cuddles and love. Ignore his bad behaviour if you can, he doesn't want to be naughty. Could you talk with him about your dad and remember the good times?

Carrie no car and baby due soon what a nightmare. Are you far from the hospital or are you having a homebirth?

Meglet Tue 27-Aug-13 22:08:56

carrie I've not bought the jersey trousers (yet). She's got the normal ones so far. I could buy a pair and take them back if they aren't needed actually.

Now, as for girls school shoes <<weeps>>. I bought DD a pair last week, clarks had to take her down 2 widths to get them to stay on as they kept slipping off her skinny ankles hmm. So today we went out and got a pair of start rite from another shop. So I've got a small fortunes worth of shoes to decide between. I may have also sent Clarks a stern e-mail about the crapness of their girls school shoes

I won't put a photo on MN but I'll pop a photo of mine on FB.

badvoc I'd let things slide for the time being. Are you going to speak to the school next week, they should be able to support Toby (and you!).

DD finishes nursery this Friday. After 5.6 yrs there will be no more nursery runs. I'm going to be a state, they've looked after all of us over the last few years sad.

DS2 is TWO!!! We've had a great day celebrating - swimming, playing with new digger toys, and tea out at Bella Italia - their kids menu is great. So thankful for the Tesco voucher scheme, without which there would be very few treats in this household! Can't believe how grown up he is now, such a cutie <biased?!>

meglet my clarks issue is those silly shoes with the crap toys in them, which make DD pretend that all the other shoes don't fit, but I won't buy them for her because the shoes have far too much of a heel for a 6 year old, to make room for the crap toy to fit in! Grr. Don't know if we've got a local startrite outlet...might have to get googling.

badvoc how has today been? And how is your mum doing now, health wise and emotionally? Lots of <hugs> and flowers, brew, cake and wine still coming your way.

ILTMIMI keep those tears flowing, stops the rest of us feeling so pathetic grin

Badvoc Wed 28-Aug-13 20:46:47

Ah, hope your ds had had a lovely day carrie...certainly sounds like it!
Mum is not doing too well sad had to take her to the gp earlier...she is having palpitations etc. not surprising really but she has a history of panic attacks and health anxiety. Got to take her back to the gp tomorrow morning for an ECG.
Haven't really thought much about tomorrow - until now that is!!
Think everything is sorted. Hope so. Too late now!

Badvoc Wed 28-Aug-13 20:47:43

Carrie..lupus Lewis sell start rite shoes if you have one locally (and online)

Badvoc Wed 28-Aug-13 20:50:28

Meg...I e mailed the both schools after dad died. It means ds1 won't have to explain to his teacher(s).
Had a few tears from ds1 tonight about his pop.
Never know what to say.
If I had any words of comfort I would tell myself.

Meglet Wed 28-Aug-13 21:12:12

It's so hard to find the words to explain death and loss to children. I've blagged most parts of parenting but it leaves me floundering for words sad.

carrie Jones sell start rite too. Their shoes come up bigger than clarks, I was a bit sceptical when the assistant brought out a size down for DD but it fits her and the half size up was like a clown shoe - despite being half a size smaller than her clarks size. She ended up with a cute traditional style 'T-bar' shoe. If we end up having a grim winter I might move her to a closed in boy trainer style school shoe, they won't look too obvious with trousers.

I need to grill mrsA on shoes, she has a thing for nice kids shoes doesn't she.

Badvoc Wed 28-Aug-13 21:16:04

Yes, it is.
I am struggling to understand it myself.
How on earth can the dc understand it?

Now we do have a Jones here, I'll try there next time for DD! I'm really pleased with the school shoes I got DS1 - they're the trainer style ones with dinosaurs on them, perfect for school and the park.
badvoc as with all aspects of parenting, there's no 'right' way to approach the issues of death and grief with DCs, but the love and security you give them will see all of you through this terrible time.

Meglet Wed 28-Aug-13 22:28:52

I've just checked and I think DD's start rites are called 'Beta'. They come up higher than mary janes, best of a bad lot really <<shoe shopping stress>>.

Funnily enough 'Bonsoir' has just started a ranty thread about school shoes (ranty for her anyway!), think it's in education.

Badvoc Wed 28-Aug-13 22:36:23

Carrie...I hope so.
Toby was upset the other day. He said "oh mummy, heaven is so far away!" Ds1 is trying to be positive and thankful that we had pop for as long as we did. And that he didn't suffer.
And he is right.
Just hard to feel thankful ATM.

teabagpleb Thu 29-Aug-13 22:13:57

Any ideas on getting stubborn 4yos to wear uniform appreciated... A finally tried on a pair of black shoes in the Clarks outlet shop after I told him we were staying there all afternoon until he did, and if that meant missing his playdate in the park, so be it. Thankfully they had one style but in every size, which meant simply getting the best fit. At least boy styles are practical - why toddler shoes in girl colours have to be so much more flimsy I don't know. dd is in green sandals which should be perfectly unisex, but no, they are BOY according to the Clarks website, which won't even show you kids' shoes unless you choose boy or girl first angry

He isn't ever going to wear them and is going to put them in the bin, apparently. Admittedly I hear this about most of his new clothes until they've been on for half an hour, when they become his favourites and he refuses to take them off...

School have told me and 2 other parents completely different things about what the uniform is in any case (all given a badly photocopied leaflet with biro corrections saying different things). The other parents are also teachers and tell me crap admin is to be expected and chill out. hmm

Best wishes to your children dealing with grief. A has been asking questions about death and losing parents so presumably trying to understand in advance how it works... but there's no explanation, is there?

Badvoc Fri 30-Aug-13 13:03:35

No there isn't teabag.
I am struggling myself so can't imagine what the dc are feeling.
Wrt shies am lucky I guess in that Toby is a total shoe fetishist. He is obsessed by them. He would happily go show shopping every day.
I bet he loves them after a few wears...smile

Meglet Fri 30-Aug-13 14:34:58

teabag no great ideas here. DD did wear her uniform briefly, but there were a few grimaces and wriggles about it feeling odd. No tantrums though so we may be ok. I'm going to tape some peppa pigs for next week so she can watch them in front of the tv while she gets ready, should distract her from any uniform grumbles hmm.

I'm currently optimistic about school. She has been wanting to do school work at nursery so the staff and me have been giving her 'work' to do. They said she sat down for an hour last week to practice writing, a shock to all of us!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Fri 30-Aug-13 14:53:58

teabag - ds had a wobbly about uniform, but it was at the same time that he had a wobble about starting school. So, the uniform issue may have been a manifestation of worrys about starting school. I also got some name tags with dinosaurs on and told ds that he would have secret dinosaur tags in all his clothes and that no one else would know that they we're there. That seemed to help, he liked the fact that we had that little secret.

We've always been honest about death with the boys badvoc. We keep it simple, but truthful. No talk of heaven or them looking down on us etc. most of the time I can be quite matter of fact about it, but if I'm having a bad day and ds2 asks about ds1 it can be really difficult. As I imagine every day is a bad day for you at the moment it must be very hard for you, but it's ok for you to be upset and not always have the answers {{hugs}}

I hope you've got your hankies for later meglet {{hugs}}

Meglet Sat 31-Aug-13 11:19:56

We survived nursery pick up sad. DD was fine, me and the staff were all trying to hide the fact we were crying. At one point there was a strange mother walking into town snotty faced and crying blush.

Anyway, it's all done now. A new phase starts next week, and the weather looks nice which always helps.

wine for meglet!

Meglet Sun 01-Sep-13 09:31:29

Thank you carrie. It'll have to be Coke in there though, I seem to have zero tolerance for alcohol these days shock.

What's everyone getting their DC's for their 5th birthdays. I was a bit stuck as we have no storage space these days and DD can already play with DS's toys. So she's got a mini basketball hoop for the garden, a new lego friends kit, naice wooden tiddlywinks set from John Lewis and a book. We tried on lelli kellys but couldn't get any that fitted so they're on hold until next year.

Badvoc Sun 01-Sep-13 16:14:13

Toby is having a family tea party at his request.
Wrt gifts...he is getting the new octonauts gups and octolab from my family. I think he may be getting a mini iPad too if I sell that kidney
We have Toby's bday, then my dnephews, then mine all in a nice row!
I shall hopefully spend my bday drunk and in bed.

Meglet Mon 02-Sep-13 09:47:09

badvoc I wish they'd had more Octonaut toys when DS was younger, he wanted some as soon as it started 3 (?) years ago but I think they were caught on the hop and hardly anything was available. It's a new series today at 4:45pm, have just set the box to record it.

I hope you have a calm birthday and do get to loll about in bed for a while cake.

I'm going to be busy today, the dc's are out with Grandma and Grandad. I'm on a house tidy up mission, partly because it's well over due blush and partly because it's DD's teachers home visit this week.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Mon 02-Sep-13 19:37:14

We've got ds a few Lego bits, there really isn't much he wants or needs. My parents are paying for a Lego building station ie a child size table and chair with some Lego base plates stuck to the top and some storage boxes for the pieces.

My house is a SHIT HOLE. I remember it being like this after the long holidays last year, so I was a bit more prepared for it. When ds3 has his first pre school session this week the house will be getting scrubbed!

Debs75 Mon 02-Sep-13 21:07:38

Not sure what we are getting Robyn beside a bike some books and......that's it really.

We did shoe shopping today. Clarks were useless and didn't have anything other than glorified ballet shoes. We ended up at Brantano where we got some slightly better and significantly cheaper ballet shoes. Then off to Matalan for some willies and some sandshoes. We are sorted now, off to do her packed lunch for tomorrow and then early morning wake up to get them all off to school in time

Badvoc Mon 02-Sep-13 21:20:22

I live in a shithole too ATM.
Haven't done a thing since dad died.
Really must crack on.

Badvoc Mon 02-Sep-13 21:20:55

Debs...some willies!? smile

Debs75 Mon 02-Sep-13 21:31:38

WELLIES not williesblush

ninja Mon 02-Sep-13 21:39:46

Hi - haven't really been on MN recently - but have had the odd lurk. I'm sorry to hear about some of your sad news sad

M starts school on Wednesday - 6 days of half days which exH is complaining about, but I have to admit I'm looking forward to some time with her by herself.

The TB is still being a twat even if slightly less often sad I think I'm coping better than last year though.

We had a great summer - PGL for DD1 and me, Northumberland and trips to family and lots of rabbit cuddling (we seem to have acquired 3!)

Hope the school first days go well

teabagpleb Mon 02-Sep-13 22:59:46

A is also getting octonauts Gups for his birthday, and my parents will get him a balance bike. I've told him he has to try his uniform on if he wants to go to Chessington next week.

Only 2 more days of nursery - sniff!

Meglet Tue 03-Sep-13 07:42:07

Awww, 3 rabbits ninja smile. Your FB photos were great.

I've tidied up DD's room, ie; I bought more underbed storage and dumped all the crap in there blush. At least it's off the floor, I'll sort it out another day.

Not sure where to start with DS's room. He knows when I've tidied binned his random piles of sticks / ancient comics / toilet rolls so I need to be sneaky.

Badvoc Tue 03-Sep-13 08:01:57

Hey ninja x

DS1 is in school <breaths frantically into brown paper bag>
He went in fine, knew the routine from going every day with DD! What I wasn't prepared for was DD then going super quiet and not being at all sure about going into year 2. It took her ages to find her place, and most of the other children were already involved in their first activity since they hadn't had to waste 10mins in reception first! I've bought all the children magazines as an after school treat today, so proud of them all <sniff>
Oh crumbs tidying the kids bedroom...seriously where do you start with that much lego, sylvanian bits n bobs, playmobil etc?!
We've bought DS1 the lego space shuttle on ebay and my mum's got him a spiderman duvet cover. Only 3 weeks til his birthday.

Badvoc Tue 03-Sep-13 15:46:17

Toby is pretty tired today. Says he has a headache, bless him.
Early night tonight I think!

Meglet Tue 03-Sep-13 20:15:10

DD is still darting across the landing every so often hmm.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Wed 04-Sep-13 11:03:32

Ds2 dropped off <sniff sniff> He came a cropper in the playground and took the skin off his knees and palms. Luckily they were about to go in and a TA came over and said she'd clean him up. When I walked past he had stopped crying and was holding the TA's hand - phew.

Ds3 and I then walked round to the preschool and his drop off was completely uneventful.

I was ok until people asked how I was. I can't take people being kind so I then burst into tears! I had another cry when I got home and got stuck into some cleaning.

Fingers crossed for everyone else today x

ninja Wed 04-Sep-13 12:04:45

Maebh's only in for 2 hours this afternoon. We've had a school haircut (at a posh hairdressers that she asked to go to). She wanted them to do everything so it's been washed, sprayed, cut dried and straightened! Shame I have to tie it back this afternoon.

I'm on my 12th day of a stomach bug, I did think I was getting better, but maybe I overdid it a bit 'cos I've felt dreadful the last couple of days. I'll be glad to wave Maebh goodbye so I can go back to bed for an hour sad

She says she doesn't want to go to school, but I think she'll love it.

Meglet Wed 04-Sep-13 14:17:36

DD was fine at drop off, in fact she was rather annoyed with me hovering around hmm.

HI all,

Will catch up properly shortly.

DD doesn't start until the 16th so I have her for a bit longer. Not sure whether we are both happy or sad about that tbh.

I doubt I'll be tearful. School starting has been totally ruined for my by my experience with DS and I think I just want to get on with it. She's ready. I'm ready. She desperately desperately wants to go.

She starts a full day. Do you think I should just send her all day, or bring her home for lunch?

Debs75 Wed 04-Sep-13 14:31:52

Robyn was great yesterday at drop off, all excited and raring to go. Pick up she was a bit quiet and very sombre all the way home. I found out later that she hadn't made any new friends.sad By bedtime she was exhausted but she thought that was the best time to tell me everything that had happened at school. She has had fun so feeling better.
This morning we had tears and a little panicking. I think the first day is novelty and then on the 2nd they realise 'this is it' Have promised her her favourite tea to cheer her up.

Badvoc Wed 04-Sep-13 14:45:24

Star...Toby did 2 half days and then has been to full days and taking sandwiches since Monday.
He was complaining of a headache last night at pick up but it think its because its so hot and he isn't drinking enough.
I sent him with 2 water bottles today!
I know what you mean...I really haven't given Toby starting school much thought at all tbh what with everything that's happened sad
Ds1 seems to be doing well at his middle school (fingers x)

Ah Bad, perhaps I should give the school a bit of a rest on Friday and collect her at lunch time for the rest of the afternoon off. I think the school will be okay with that. She might not be though, so we'll see.

There was a stay and play session last term but she refused to go because she knew she was running out of days at her nursery and didn't want to leave for a school she would 'see soon enough' (her words).

She's got her birthday on Monday. It's a pita because she hasn't yet met anyone from new school to invite. Still it might be a blessing if she reciprocate-invited, as parties are okay, but not when they are every bloody weekend.

great news about ds1 bad.

DS1 here is also doing fabulously, - now. He re-starts school tomorrow and I have seen no signs of anxiety, just the usual 'I don't want to go to school, I want to stay here and play on the ipad', but that is normal, and there has been plenty of times during the summer when he has asked to go back to school.

Badvoc Wed 04-Sep-13 15:54:50

He is doing so well, star smile I almost don't want to say it in case I jinx him!
He has come home today and told me he had sausages for lunch.
For the first time in his life! smile
Dh will be thrilled.
And now I will have to cook sausages sad

Badvoc Wed 04-Sep-13 15:55:07

Have to day your dd sounds hilarious smile

ninja Wed 04-Sep-13 19:50:10

Star att DD1's school they start with full days and she was fine - tired in the second week but never weepy. Tbh bringing her home would probably for you rather than her!

Badvoc that's really good news about DS1 - he's the same age as my DD1 isn't he?

Well I managed to make a dramatic start to being a nw parent at the school gate by ... vomiting right outside it in the bushes blush. Looks like I might be allergic to the codeine that the doctor gave me to bung me up!

I didn't think I was going to be able to make it up, but actually feel fine now!

Oh well - I guess there'll be a wide berth around me tomorrow

Badvoc Wed 04-Sep-13 20:14:55

Oh ninja! Are you ok?
Ds1 is 10 and has just gone into year 6.

Oh no ninja you poor thing!
DS1 went straight in at full days yesterday and has been fine, I'm not aware of anyone having chosen to start on half days. Last night he asked me if it was school again tomorrow, I briefly panicked, realising I'd prepared him for the first day, but not all the days that come after! When I said he would go back he was thrilled - turned out he was just checking that he was like DD who goes every day, phew! He came out in floods of tears today because he couldn't find his jumper at home time - he didn't realise it had never been taken out of his bag from the morning! Bless him, he recovered quickly.
He absolutely loves telling jokes, so has decided that instead of 'look and listen' which they do every monday, he'll do 'listen and laugh'. I'm not sure what his teacher is going to make of him...!
DD seems fine in year 2 thankfully, although said their time in the ICT suite was cut short today because of some of the boys being naughty. But they did monster dances in PE, so that's ok grin
I'm loving that I can now have a lunchtime nap when DS2 does...but only for the next few weeks! Had my haircut today, think I've reached the end of my 'things to do before the baby arrives' list, other than DS1's party next Friday. I'm properly jittery about the whole giving birth thing, and I really can't work out why confused

Meglet Wed 04-Sep-13 21:17:45

Oh ninja sad. I hope you're in bed now and get well soon.

It's so good to hear your DS1 is happy to go back to school starlight.

ninja Wed 04-Sep-13 21:28:21

Feel fine now, but no codeine since breakfast - I should have realsied it was starnge that I felt worse after being to the doctors - but I was feeling too bad to really think!

Carrie can't believe you've got so little time until the babay but I certainly can believe that you're all organised!

Its all a façade, the moses basket is out of the loft, therefore on the face of it I look ready ;)

How is everyone? Got over the illness and the shame ninja?
How are you badvoc?
meglet are you getting your DD into school clothes ok...?!

DS1 is doing well, was happy to go back to school today, but then its still all been about play and getting stickers for everything so what's not to love?!

We had a truly awful night's sleep on Saturday, I couldn't sleep was still awake at midnight, DS2 started crying at 4am and I eventually got him settled back at 5am but he'd completely woken DD, who then wandered into our room three times between 6 and 7am to say she was 'bored of staying in bed'. So of course we were all super ratty and miserable and sleep-deprived for all of Sunday.

Sooo ready to have this baby. 38 weeks yesterday...

NotCitrus Mon 09-Sep-13 20:11:48

A just had his last day at nursery (sniff!) It was finally back in the old building which has been completely redone so all the rooms are bigger and look stunning. So Chessington tomorrow, then school next day, though may need to get his plaster off mid-morning after another NHS cockup with appts. Thinking of just going the time I was originally told would be fine rather than messing up his first day - he missed the settling in day so don't want him to miss this induction too.
Builders have built foundations. Only 6 weeks to go...

ninja Mon 09-Sep-13 21:48:11

Yes - all recovered. No-one has mentioned the vomiting, as someone said to me they might have thought it was morning sickness! I was too out of it to know who saw me, so not too bad all in all!

I was away over the weekend and with Maebh's half days I'm really struggling to catch up with work (and housework!).

Maebh seems happy at school though, she pushed me out the door today grin

Meglet Wed 11-Sep-13 06:55:27

Bookmarking. I tried to post yesterday via my laptop but MN was playing up confused.

Kagey Wed 11-Sep-13 21:20:19

Well hello there everyone! It's been ages, sorry, that I've been anywhere near this thread, but on this monumental day I thought I'd post. Dd1 started reception today and she was soooooo excited grin. She was up at 6.30 chattering about her new teacher and seeing her friends from nursery who are also in her class.

I was very brave and didn't cry but will probably do so when dd2 starts in 2-years time.

Badvoc, I'm really sorry to read about your Dad, and hope you are all ok.

Carrie, I've managed to miss your whole pregnancy, so congrats!!! I hope all goes really well.

Tea bag, I second that the building hassles are worth it in the end. We had a rough 6-months with a big project but so worth it.

Ninja, hope you are feeling better now!

Erin's birthday is a week today so I have bought haribo for her classmates for her to give out. Her party is next Saturday at our house so I hope the weather is dry or our house will be overrun with little people. Present wise we struggled thinking of ideas so she's getting a smurf bag and a princess dress.

Hope you are all well!!

Meglet Fri 13-Sep-13 07:26:17

kagey lovely to hear your DD started school ok. Hope the weather settles down a bit before her party.

Hi kagey, glad all is going well!

We've got DS1's official birthday party this afternoon, he's a bit confused because he knows perfectly well its not his birthday for another fortnight, but he seems to be going with the whole cake/presents/junk food thing regardless grin

My darling neice and nephew arrived this morning! They were due on 6th October, but c-section was booked for next week. Waters broke this morning (at 36+5) and they delivered her straight away. One boy, one girl, both good weights and perfectly healthy, no need for special care. I'm beyond gutted that I can't go and meet them, but apparently I shouldn't be doing a 500 mile round trip at 39 weeks pg (bunch of spoil sports my family are...) but once I've had my baby and I'm feeling up to it, I'll be down there like a shot so my brother and I can meet each other's off-spring!

NotCitrus Fri 13-Sep-13 12:57:01

Great news Carrie!

Kagey yes, it will be so worth it - in fact the house is loads warmer already without having to use the old freezing kitchen, and less space to keep tidy is quite handy. Huge steels arrived today. A's birthday party this weekend will be interesting though (six boys, no garden!).

A trotted off excitedly to school the other day to see his best friend (there may have been a small tear as I followed him down the road, amazed at how my tiny baby who stopped breathing after birth is now a jumping joke-telling schoolboy), cheered up friend, and had to be dragged out 2 hours later to go have his plaster off. Day 3 and school is 'so much fun' and he wants to go to school for ever and ever. smile

He claims to have spent all day playing Spiderman but has started sounding out letters in words when I read to him and is playing shops with his birthday presents, so some learning is happening already! He starts after-school club next week so hope he likes that - best friend won't be there.

MelT76 Sat 14-Sep-13 04:07:04

Hi everyone, not been on here for ages but thought I would catch up with you all and how everyone's getting on. Will try to keep up more from now on x

Well yesterday we had DS1's party which was a huge success - love Wacky Warehouse! His cake was amazing (I can say that as I wasn't the one who spent 3 hours on thursday night creating 'shuttle going round planet with aliens' grin)
I realised yesterday afternoon that I hadn't really felt the baby move much during the day, I shelved the thought as I was too busy! In the evening I had a big glass of cold water, lots of stuff out of the kids party bags sugar and sat down...baby had a wriggle but not much. I got into bed but couldn't sleep, so DH persuaded me to phone the hospital, who said to try a hot drink, but if I still wasn't happy, to come in for monitoring. So at half midnight my wonderful best friend came and picked me up and we had a little jaunt to the maternity unit! We were the only people in triage (apparently the same room where I was assessed when I went in in labour with DS2...I have no recollection of that whatsoever!) and spent an hour on the monitor. Heart rate was absolutely fine, but they did find a trace of infection in my urine sample. She also said the baby was quite difficult to palpate (sp?) so I wonder if its gone back to back, hence my perception in the change of movements. So one of DH's jobs tonight is to blow up the birth ball! The midwife said that she got monitored for reduced fetal movement in one of her pregnancies, and went into labour the next day...can't say I feel like I'm labour, but the BH continue with a vengeance!
I love the NHS, that in the middle of the night we could rock up, get 1-2-1 care by such a great midwife and all the medical reassurance we needed, and they couldn't have been lovelier about it, even though I turned out to be a fraud as baby was fine!

Sorry that's a very 'me' post...I haven't told my parents I went in as they're enjoying their two new grandchildren and I don't want to divert the attention away from their moment...mine will come soon enough!

It was so weird being back in the maternity unit though...the smell, the corridors, just the feel of the place. I'm pretty nervous now confused

<waves to Mel>

Meglet Sun 15-Sep-13 10:46:56


ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Sun 15-Sep-13 19:30:24

So does that mean you've got a new baby today Carrie?! grin I didn't tell my parents when I went in to be monitored for lack of fetal movements either.

Lovely news about your niece and nephew.

School is going ok for ds, although last week the reality hit that he was going to be there for five full days. Of course he has been saving his best behaviour for home hmm

Nope...still pregnant!
Had a really nice family day today, DH and I both agree that we feel 'ready' now - practically, emotionally, just like the pregnancy has finished and we want to embrace the next stage. Although if I could skip the childbirth bit that would be nice wink
ILTMIMI that afterschool behaviour is just the pits isn't it?!

Badvoc Mon 16-Sep-13 21:19:08

Carrie...how exciting! Not long now! smile so glad everything was ok. i got minitored about 3 times for reduced movements with toby but i had excess fluid....thinking of you x
Poor toby was really poorly last week sad only a week at school sad he had a chest infection, really high temp and sickness. He was back today so fingers x.
Dh is away for 2 days from tomorrow sad hate it.

Debs75 Wed 18-Sep-13 15:13:10

Lots of baking today for Robyn's b'day tomorrow. She is having a 'decorate a cupcake' theme so loads of cupcakes, lots of frosting and decorations. Just loving the mad sugar rush coming our wayhmm

Kagey Wed 18-Sep-13 21:40:09

Happy birthday Robyn for tomorrow, I hope the baking goes well!!

It's Erin's birthday today but unfortunately I was at work so I missed out on a lot of excitement. She happily dished out a packet of haribo to each of her classmates. Her party is on Saturday, I shall need lots of wine after!

Good luck Carrie!

Still here...I'm 39+5 now, and had what I hope will turn out to have been my last midwife appointment this morning. Head is now engaged, I'm measuring spot on. And most importantly the dear friend who was 2 weeks overdue has now had her baby, so I won't be queue jumping and I'm 'allowed' mine now!
Maybe I'll have a due date baby?! I have two sets of people lined up to have the children on Sunday so that would work well!
Happy birthday to Robyn and Erin, hope they're enjoying being 5!

Still pregnant...
But today's great distraction is that its DS1's 5th birthday! I thought I would have a newborn by this point, but I don't which means I could really focus on his birthday, we had a great family breakfast, opened some presents, and are going to our favourite deli coffee shop after school for epic cake (thanks grandma!)

I've been having loads of tightenings that have got me thinking 'this could be it!' since last Friday evening. I was up for 2 hours in the night on Tuesday with regular ones which were too uncomfortable to sleep through, but not actually painful, and fizzled out by 5am. Sunday was officially my due date and I bumped into my community midwife at the hospital while I was visiting a friend's newborn, so she gave me a quick stretch and sweep while I was there! All that did though was bring on more painful but unfruitful braxton hicks.

I'm feeling disproportionately terrified of the birth...on the one hand my last ones were very fast, and I'm worried about not making it on time, or it being too intense and traumatic. On the other hand the midwife at my 20 week scan said 4ths can be awkward and hideously long! I do getting a rising feeling of terror every time I have a twinge, but at some point it will be the real thing, and there's no getting round the fact that I've got to get through labour in order to meet our baby!

Hope everyone else is doing well, and building work/school runs etc are going well smile

ninja Wed 25-Sep-13 21:04:43


Just had M's birthday party smile went really well. Some crafts and DD1 organsied a scavenger hunt. I made a Mike from Monsters University cake (that I'm very proud of ;) ) Debz - wish I'd thought of the decorate a cupcake , genuius idea. They would have loved it and it would have saved me a job!

She's getting on fine at school, although she went onto yellow today. It'll do her good to realise that there's a consequence to her actions.

Carrie - hang on in there - glad that at least you managed to enjoy the birthday without a newborn.

Went to college reunion at the weekend which was quite drunken and really fun. I'm playing actch-up now as I have my first masters essay due in next Monday, my house looks like a bomb site and work has just got busy. Oh well I'll get there

Debs75 Wed 25-Sep-13 22:08:59

Oooh Carrie you do know you have to give us hourly updates now or we will all start panicking that we might miss the labour and birth.grin
Just try and relax about it all, babies come when they are ready and whether it was last week or next week you will be ecstatic and so will the family. I have always heard that it gets easier the more you have so fingers crossed are you having a waterbirth again?

debs you've had four haven't you......??? Keep saying things like they get easier the more you have! One of my panics is it being a little too swift and me not making it, or delivering alone, or by the side of the road with an audience of members of the public <oh the shame>

Debs75 Thu 26-Sep-13 11:15:50

Well my labours did get quicker but Lucy (no4) was induced over 3 weeks early so took forever to get started. Once labour was in full swing it was quicker. Still over 3 hours though which is what I would class as quick

Ninja decorating cupcakes is the way to go. Less chance of it going wrong and loads of variables for the dc's. I learnt how to do rainbow frosting and the dc's think it is magic

I've just cried all over the midwife blush
Just feeling overwhelmed, want it to be over. Despite my emotional state and anxiety, my blood pressure was still completely normal, and baby's heart rate very pedestrian, she reckons its a 'lazy boy'!
Everyone's being so kind and I'm sure the childcare will all fall into place. I had a brief panic just now when I got an email about the road closures for the Yorkshire Marathon, which affects our journey to hospital. I then read it more closely and realised its not until 20th October, oh the relief that its not this sunday!
I'm sure the baby has grown massively in the last week, but I'm still only measuring 40cm.

NotCitrus Fri 27-Sep-13 14:08:27

Best wishes Carrie!

How are all the new starters dealing with school? A got to day 7 before deciding he was 'too tired' to get up. But is fine once dressed and trots along happily. And, amazingly, is eating new things at lunchtime! Apparently he sometimes says he doesn't want to go to after-school club on the 3 days he's there, but by the time I get him he doesn't want to leave. Huge playground, only 20 kids, bread and jam - his idea of heaven! smile He seems to be playing shops a lot and has learnt new songs. And fart jokes...

NotCitrus Fri 27-Sep-13 14:08:36

Best wishes Carrie!

How are all the new starters dealing with school? A got to day 7 before deciding he was 'too tired' to get up. But is fine once dressed and trots along happily. And, amazingly, is eating new things at lunchtime! Apparently he sometimes says he doesn't want to go to after-school club on the 3 days he's there, but by the time I get him he doesn't want to leave. Huge playground, only 20 kids, bread and jam - his idea of heaven! smile He seems to be playing shops a lot and has learnt new songs. And fart jokes...

Kagey Sun 29-Sep-13 20:41:03

Any news from Carrie?

NC dd1 seems to have settled in well, and she's not been too tired, just starving hungry at pick-up time. Rather than dinner at 5.30, it's now 4pm.

Meglet Sun 29-Sep-13 21:16:22

Bookmarking to catch up!

Debs75 Sun 29-Sep-13 21:27:46

Robyn has settled pretty well. We had a blip the first week as she didn't make any friends. Luckily that has been resolved, she is quite popular and everyone seems to know her. She did tell me last week 'that boy over there is my friend, I don't know his name though'
We have had to have Thursday and Friday off as she caught a cold and it wiped her out. She and Lucy are exhausted from the early mornings. She then passed it onto me and I have spent all weekend sniffling.

Keeping an eye out for Carrie on here and facebook

Meglet Sun 29-Sep-13 21:33:16

NC school is all about fart jokes and learning how to make fart noises on your arm, at least according to DS. And perfecting gangnam style dancing in the playground.

DD seems to be ok at school. When I drop her off and watch the other children I can see the difference between her being a sept born and the summer born children. She's still a terror at home but I guess I'll have to suck it up and accept she'll behave for everyone else and not me.

carrie not long now. Hope the days aren't dragging too much if baby hasn't arrived.

I like hearing about big birthday parties now I know I never have to host one again. From now on it only needs to be small, close friend parties.

<creeps back in>
Helloooooo! I've had a baby!

So here's the bit you're actually interested in:

Having been having twinges/contractions/tightenings/call them what you will since Friday 20th, I was getting increasingly irked and anxious. I didn't realise how much my previous quick birth had affected me (I just told it as a funny story) but every twinge brought me out in a panic attack at the thought that it could suddenly kick off and I had next to no time to organise child care, get DH back from work, get to hospital etc etc. By the end of 9 days of this I was barely eating, couldn't sleep, and just permanently on edge and very anxious.
We phoned the midwife on Sunday (29th) to say I couldn't cope any more, so I went into hospital to see her that afternoon where she was doing a clinic. She and another midwife agreed that the best thing to do was to deliver, because it was only the fear of not getting to hospital that causing me stress, so why not keep me in hospital and take the stress away! I also knew that fear and adrenalin stopped contractions, so the more anxious I got, the less likely labour was to start, and the more days the contractions/anxiety would continue. I am so so grateful to those midwives for making the right decision for me (and I was 41 weeks so it wasn't unreasonable to deliver the baby!)
I was given one helluva stretch and sweep (DH said she was in up to her elbows confused) by a registrar, and sent to the ante-natal ward, but before I even got there the contractions had started. Things ramped up very quickly and at one point I felt pushy, a student midwife had a look and thought she could see a head (they even started talking about vitamin K and all sorts, we really thought he was coming!) but actually it was just my waters bulging, but I was 3cm and wheeled round to delivery - all within an hour of the sweep.
I got in the birth pool and onto the gas and air - my happy place where I delivered DS1 and DS2 with relative ease. But then 4 hours passed and there was still no baby, they got me out and I was still only 3-4cm sad I cried a lot. With hindsight they shouldn't have let me in the pool that early, I should have laboured upright and really got things going, but that was unfortunately a result of a bad call made by a student.
So I was moved to a room and told to move around a lot, then there was a shift change and the new midwife got me to lie on my side on the bed with the gas and air, and she was feeling my tummy the whole time. Apparently I thought I was having contractions when I wasn't, but the pain was so intense I couldn't cope, so they pursuaded me to have pethidine and took me back to the ante-natal ward for a sleep. Gradually the contractions and pain subsided and by 3am, 13 hours after the sweep, I was officially not in labour at all sad. Lovely lovely midwife who I cried all over just said "we don't make decisions in the middle of the night" and told me to go back to sleep.
I do wonder what was said about me behind my back (!) but at 9:30am another amazing midwife came in and said they were going to break my waters since I was sitting at 3-4cm, which meant they were committed to inducing me and getting the baby out. I was official Not Going Home! YES!
My waters were broken at about 1pm, and as I moved around the contractions gradually came on after about an hour. I can't remember what time I started gas and air, but I tried moving to lots of different positions and gradually things ramped up. There was a bit of scare with the baby's heart beat so I was on the monitor for an hour, and I had some food which passed the time. I remember losing my sense of humour and some time after I was decreed officially 'in labour'.
And then I had my baby TWENTY SEVEN MINUTES LATER. And that is what I was afraid of. I am so, so glad they took my fears seriously and induced me, although I could have done without the 12 hours of false labour the day before.
Lots of midwives have talked about 'tricky fourths' because the uterus and cervix don't always contract and dilate as efficiently and rhythmically when they've been through it many times before. Perhaps if I'd laboured upright more the day before I would have gone into proper labour then, but we'll never know.
While I was sorry not to make it to the pool, DH thought it was brilliant because he actually saw the birth as it wasn't all under water. Also I have a vaginal wall prolapse which was stopping the head descending and the midwife 'moved it out of the way' for the birth, which couldn't have happened in the pool. As I was delivering I heard her say something about the damage being done to my pelvic floors, but what could I do?! Certainly things are very numb down there, but it'll be a while before we can tell the full extent of the damage blush. I didn't tear at all, and don't need tena lady so it can't be too bad wink

DS3 is adorable, perfect, wonderful, amazing. He's got perfect little petite features, he's 8lb 3oz and feeding pretty well although he has tongue tie that needs to be snipped. I think we'll both appreciate it when my milk comes in properly.

Due to cost cutting measures, I have to take him to the GP this afternoon for his check, I have to take him to the midwife tomorrow for his 3 day weighing, and I have to take him to the hospital clinic on saturday for his heel prick test. All those things were done at home visits with the previous three children, I can't believe I'm expected to go out, and I don't feel up to driving so DH and all the kids have to come too!

His siblings are besotted, and the teachers strike day was so well timed because we could have a family pyjama day yesterday!

Badvoc Wed 02-Oct-13 10:37:28

Oh carrie - what wonderful news smile I am sat here crying smile sniff sniff.
Sending lots of love and congrats to you! You star, you did so well.
Does ds have a Name yet!? I had to do all that when Toby was born too, it's really tiring going to appts when you have just had a baby! Toby weed all over the gp who did his neonatal checks. That cheered me up a bit smile You take good care of yourself x
Well, things here are still very hard sad
Mum is struggling, well we all are. And we have had bad health news about my aunt (dads sister).
Toby had a private themed b day party on Sunday for his entire class! (20 x 4 year olds) It was a bit frantic but went really well.
It's so hard having family celebrations without dad, and as for Xmas.....god, I can't bear to think about it sad
Huge congrats again carrie - oct b day babies are ace (yes, I am one!)
Hope everyone else is ok x

Meglet Wed 02-Oct-13 22:48:15

aaaaw, thanks for filling us in carrie. The teachers strike was certainly well timed for you. Can't wait to hear what his name will be <<overly excited>>. I suppose it's positive the midwife has noticed your pelvic floor is a little creaky, fingers crossed it will settle down and they can help you get it back to full strength again.

badvoc sorry things are still shit sad. I went a bit meltdown-y a couple of weeks ago and called in sick while crying. Work have been ok (I only had a couple of days off) and I refused to move from the GP's surgery until they at least referred me for counselling. So, it's better than it was as I've got it out in the open but I'm still feeling burnt out.

Debs75 Wed 02-Oct-13 22:51:44

Oh Carrie A lovely eventful birth story. Have some thanks and cake Sorry you had some faffing around, but glad they took your fears seriously and had you in. That's kind of how it was with dd1. They, and I were worried I would go into labour on the 2 hour, 2 bus journey home so arranged to keep me in. 10 hours after waters popped and she was there.
Your pics on facebook are lovelygrin
Sorry to hear you have to do all the running about, postnatal care is shite now. MW are only supposed to do a max of 1 visit per week which is just pants. How are they meant to pick up on the many things which are a huge struggle to new mums? when I graduate I will sneak in extra visits

Badvoc Thu 03-Oct-13 07:33:26

Meg...my sister phoned yesterday for counselling. She and my brother have both been to the gp and are on ADs.
I don't want to take ADs if I can avoid it...simply because I am on so many other meds.
My poor sister has been dx as diabetic too sad
Sorry for the whinge fest.
I really hope he counselling helps you meg - you have had such a. Hard few years x

Just been to see the midwife for our 3 day check, and DS3 has lost too much of his birth weight - 9%. The midwife was quick to reassure me that she's not bothered, its just that my milk isn't in yet. But of course if I can find something to fret about, I will, and it feels like the 5 day check on Saturday is an exam I have to pass! I don't like think of my little baby shrinking away with dehydration! My plan is to eat lots and rest lots and keep feeding feeding feeding, which is hard when it feels like there's nothing there. We've been referred to have his tongue-tie snipped, which I think will make a big difference, but that won't be until next week.
And breathe. And eat cake

So sorry badvoc and meglet for how much you're struggling sad
It sounds like both of you are so aware of your own bodies and minds, and know what is best and have the confidence and common sense to do something about it, which is such a great strength to have. Hang in there, you're doing brilliantly!

Badvoc Thu 03-Oct-13 15:54:55

Carrie, thank you x
I am no expert, but I think little ones tongue tie might be affecting his ability to latch and drain the breast? You are absolutely doing the right thing by resting up...lots and lots of fluids if you dont fancy much food.
things will get much better once the tongue tie is sorted.
The bf board on here is ace if you need reassurance x
<feels like she is teaching her grandmother to suck eggs here!> smile

Badvoc Thu 03-Oct-13 15:55:10

<ahem cough>
Any name yet?

No, no name yet! Its all so complicated. We want a name we love but while there are lots that would 'do' that doesn't seem good enough!
badvoc keep telling me! I'm sure the tongue tie has affected the latch too. Already got some great advice reading boards on here - particularly that a baby in a deep sleep might not be content, they might be conserving energy, so wake them up and feed them...which I did, and he took a really good feed! Just had a very full nappy from him but still not 'yellow' poo, just the transition stuff.
I really hope the tongue tie is sorted early next week, but I won't be phoned back by the lady until Monday at the earliest.
I am starving. I had a lasagne at 11:20am coz I couldn't wait til lunch time! Have had toast and a banana, then lasagne again at 5 blush. My word I'd forgotten how hungry and low blood sugar I get when I'm breastfeeding! Plus I'm having a pint of water at each feed. Do I pass? wink

Badvoc Thu 03-Oct-13 18:48:00

Marvellous! Keep at it! More lasagne! smile

NotCitrus Thu 03-Oct-13 19:09:41

See what happens when I stop checking this thread to see if Carrie's baby is here yet?
Many congratulations Carrie, and good luck with all the getting to appts with family in tow. Aren't they supposed to lose 10% of birth weight in first week?

Hope counselling is soon and useful Meglet.

Debs75 Thu 03-Oct-13 19:10:50

Carrie try not to worry about the weight loss. All babies lose some weight and it is pretty normal. Keep up with the feeding and try some hand expressing. Remember to drain one side before starting on the other. Once your milk starts to come in it should be easier if he is tongue tied as it should be freer flowing. Have you got an apt to get the tt checked

Tongue tie...snipped! Got a phone call at 11:15 from the woman who does it, and within the hour it was done! She took one look at him and said it was a no-brainer, she also said he looks quite dehydrated (dry blisters all over lips, and raspy cry) which combined with the 9% weight loss and my sore nips meant she strongly recommended the procedure. It was all very simple and quick, and he then had a really good feed, although she showed me how he's learnt wrong attachment from having to work around the tongue tie, and really gave me the confidence in how to get him to latch on well. My milk has come in today and I have a very fast let down, and milk was escaping round the edge which she said shouldn't happen, so she helped me reattach him more successfully.
Time for more cake to celebrate grin

Badvoc Fri 04-Oct-13 15:16:08

Great news smile

Meglet Fri 04-Oct-13 18:57:48

Hurray! Wishing you a productive weekend of feeding and lasagne carrie.

I'm not impressed to hear that cuts mean women who have just given birth are expected to go out to see their GP sad. It's enough to make me want to wave a MatB1 slip at a medical professional and point out it uses the word 'confinement'. Not, expected date 'of getting out and about as soon as possible'. <Rants>

Kagey Fri 04-Oct-13 20:10:25

Congrats Carrie thanks thanks thanks

I'm glad to hear the tongue-tie is all sorted and looking forward to hearing baby ds' name!

Debs75 Sat 05-Oct-13 20:10:42

Great news about the tongue tie Carrie she sounds a great woman who really know her stuff. lots of babymooning for you now.

Sorry I never came back and updated you on the name saga!
So DH wanted Micah, I wanted Jack, and the kids wanted Alexander. Unsurprisingly the result of the family conference was that he's called Alexander Micah! Fortunately I really like the name Alex too, I just preferred Jack! But that's the problem with having lots of children, we're comprehensively outnumbered grin
Feeding going really well, I'm still having to wake him every three hours, but today we had some really nice awake times after a couple of the feeds, and I gave him his first bath (in the sink!). He's just turned one week old...I can't believe it.
The babymoon continues, hopefully I'll go all the way from Sunday morning to Wednesday afternoon without leaving the house! The problem is that DS2 has a lot of energy to burn off, my parents took him out today but they're not around tomorrow.
Thank you again for all the encouragement and advice, especially debs on the breastfeeding!

Badvoc Mon 07-Oct-13 20:40:42

Love Alexander..what a great name!

Meglet Mon 07-Oct-13 20:53:26

grin at your 'family conference' carrie.

I'm attempting a good clear out this week. It's NCT sale this weekend so I'm grabbing things and adding them to the pile, only problem is I have to label them all up before saturday <<sigh>>. With a bit of luck I can shift most of it if I price it low.

ninja Tue 08-Oct-13 08:29:27

Carrie, I've been following your birth on Facebook but lovely to hear the full story so another congratulations! grin

I'm glad you found a way to deal with the anxieties although sounds like you didn't have the easiest time in hospital - the birth itself sounds great though.

Love the name and the fact that he whole family had a say smile

Badvoc, sorry things are so tough. You always sound so strong on here sad how are the children?

Meglet, hope the counselling helps.

I finally got my masters essay in last week and caught up on tidying the house at the weekend so feeling a lot calmer than I have for a month! Maebh seems to have settled into school really well, I just wish the TB would stop saying that he wishes she went to DD1s school in front of them. It doesn't help.

I've just realised this week that I haven't cried for ages. This time last year I was in tears all the time and in a really bad place. There are still frustrations, I still miss the kids, the TB is still a twat (e.g. He never gets Dd1 to do any homework at his, even though he has her half of the time. So when he has her over the weekend I only have Tuesday and Wednesday nights to get it done when she has an after school club both nights and then swimming and drama. So all she sees is naggy mum sad). However, I seem to be coping with it all better.

Just need to get into a routine of exercise as I've just lost it completely. The pattern for the kids is better for them, but doesn't do me any favours, never mind - ill get there.

Meglet Sun 13-Oct-13 18:29:28

bookmarking. delaying doing the inevitable screamfest that is bath and bedtime

DS3 is two weeks old shock Where has the time gone?! He's grown so much, some of his newborn baby grows are too short for him now. He's settling well into the ways of she-who-must-not-be-named wink and is still incredibly placid which makes my life easier!
I've started to regain sensation in my pelvic floor and attempted some exercises blush
On thursday we have an appointment to register the birth, then I'm seeing the midwife, hopefully to be signed off. I'm quite impressed that I can do both these things at the children's centre, some joined up thinking by health professionals at last!

ninja you're doing amazingly, what a year you've had, but you've risen above everything that's been thrown at you and are a fantastic mum to your girls thanks

badvoc and meglet how are you?

Right I'm off for a lie-down, making the most of DH being off to look after DS2 smile

Debs75 Fri 18-Oct-13 19:58:23

Robyn got a certificate from school today <<proud mummy emoticon>>
She is doing well at maths and knew some keywords. She was very excited when she got home. And she gets a day off on Monday due to an extra training day so she is being rewarded with a family fund day to the soft play. I will be tired that night

Well done Robyn, and debs! Hope you're enjoying your family fun day, hope the weather isn't as awful for you as it is for us!
I'm planning a trip to soft play tomorrow, DS2 can burn off all his energy and I can sit and drink coffee grin
We've got a training day on Friday, thinking of a family bowling trip, not sure how DS2 will cope with waiting for his turn though confused Isn't it sad that I was thinking bowling would be a good activity because DD and DS1 can practice their number bonds?! <get a life emoticon>
Nearly half term...boy do the kids need the break!

How's the exercise regime ninja?

ninja Wed 23-Oct-13 00:27:15