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Dec 08 Mums - Happy New Thread, You Beauties!

(992 Posts)
beans37 Tue 01-Jan-13 21:04:52

Come join me....

Indith Tue 01-Jan-13 21:05:53


That thread title makes me think you might have had a couple grin.

beans37 Tue 01-Jan-13 21:07:40

Do you know, I really haven't! Just feeling the 2013 love! Promise!

Indith Tue 01-Jan-13 21:10:32

tis that new year feeling then. Bring it on!

JumpJockey Tue 01-Jan-13 21:13:32

Hang on, where's the old thread?! Lovely to see you here anyway - am about to go to bed as back to work tomorrow and have had blissful hols of lie-ins until 7.30 (sorry indith blush) but lots of late nights - need to reset the old sleep schedule. Will try and seek out old thread for catching up, meanwhile big thanks to my SS for lovely smellies, am looking forwars to a nice luxurious bath in peace smile
Hope everyone has a great 2013 and it's better than last year - plenty of ups but too many downs for us as a group, time for things to perk up a bit. A quick E quote to make you smile, E had headed upstairs and not come down again, So I popped up tp find her, called upthe stairs "E what are you up to?" and she answered "stealing mummy's chocolate orange" grin well at least she's honest!

Indith Tue 01-Jan-13 21:23:26

grin little thief.

I'm all teary. A girl I did my bf training with moved away and we only sporadically kept in touch on FB. Her dd was the same age as mine and shared a birthday with my ds1. Shortly before Christmas a year ago she gave birth to her dd2, premature and with health problems and sadly lost her a few weeks later in the January, the day before her dd1's 3rd birthday. I've though of her often this year, especially as we draw close to the first anniversary of her dd's death but I just saw on FB that she had a beautiful, perfect ds yesterday! My eyes leaked a little.

sybilfaulty Tue 01-Jan-13 22:04:33

Indith that's lovely. So glad that she has a new baby. Not to replace her daughter of course but I am sure he will ease the sadness a little.

Off to Somerset house tomorrow to meet friends and skate. Am terrified. All of us on rink. No husband. Oops. But a nice lunch beckons.

Have a restful night girls xxxx

JamInMyWellies Tue 01-Jan-13 22:06:48

Indith that is both sad and joyous

Great sentiments JJ. The last year has been a tough one for our little group.

Onwards and upwards to a great New Year.

DH and I have had a bit of a sporadically good but mostly bickering Chistmas too much work and not enough home time. We have both just made a joint NY resolution to bonk more. wink. Though not entirely sure how that's going to work when he has 2 months if almost 24/7 work hmm.

Anyway Happy New Year lovely girls. Let's make our overnight meet up happen. I do like the visit Vag idea.

DeidreBarlow Tue 01-Jan-13 22:29:56

Happy New Year ladies! Pox is disappearing thank the Lord.

Really hope 2013 is the year I get to meet more of you!

McKayz Tue 01-Jan-13 22:40:19

I love the new thread name.

I'm having a grump tonight. I'm feeling very very fat, DD has forgotten how to even sleep longer than an hour and DH goes on Friday.

I'll be back tomorrow happier! I promise.

sybilfaulty Tue 01-Jan-13 22:54:12

Kayz, if you are feeling low would you come over to the LC thread? We are cheery bunch and love food. It is an easy diet and we are a hugely supportive bunch. I have lost 1.10st since June by making a few small tweaks (although Gawd knows how much I have put on over Christmas?!)

When is DH back? Can you kip in the day at all? Are you still on the boob? Do you co sleep with her? That helped me hugely, even if Matthew did fall onto the floor a couple of times! No lasting harm. And I was sane (for me) for the night feeds. Is this something you could try?

Big hugs sweetheart XXX

McKayz Tue 01-Jan-13 22:58:36

Sybs, I'll come have a look on that thread. I'm starting to diet properly Saturday once DH has gone.

He'll be due home about the 8th of March.

I'm still BF. Not planning to stop yet as its going well. We aren't co-sleeping though. I worry about it too much, but we do get more sleep on the occasion we do co-sleep. I have to feed her to sleep too. She doesn't self settle at all.

ArtigeneAuberchoke Wed 02-Jan-13 08:39:59

Hello new thread and Happy New Year ladies,

Kayz - sorry to hear your DH is off again. He really is away for long chunks isn't he? Will his career ways necessitate working abroad or is there a prospect of a job at home in his future? Re weight loss, like Sybs I found lie carbing easy and v effective. I started thus time last year and had lost 18 lbs by June. I maintained that loss 'til conception when the sickness made me carb load and the weight piles back on. The bright side is that although I've put on a horrendous 18 lbs that only means I'm the same weight as this time last year but 21 weeks pregnant.

Indith - it is a huge year for you study wise. Did you and your DH figure out how to balance your study with his demanding new job?

PD - lovely to see you. Persevere with the Android app! We love having you around!

Beans - how exciting that 2013 may herald a new mini Bean. Sorry to hear you and your DH aren't getting on, any idea what you can do?

Jam - I love the more bonking resolution! I have today that being pregnant with a boy seems to have boosted some hormone or another so DH thinks all his christmasses have come at once right now!

JJ - I love your honest little DD and her chocolate stealing. DD2 ate all her chocolates in one forbidden sitting after she claimed to gave heard "another mummy just on the street telling her little girl, who was also called N, that age could eat everything together" DD2 mistook this other mother for me so clearly had no idea she was being naughty....

Deids - I'm glad the pox are receeding. Here's to a healthy new year.

Sybs - yay to a MiL free NYE. Was it lovely?

Lady - I hope yr party was fun and DD2 remained pox free. Are you maintaining your monthly travel resolution this year? Where will you take your first trip?

Veg - your skiing photos were fab. I hope DS2's first proper days at school are a success.

ZJ - 2013 might not contain the excitements of your 2012 bit I hope it's a good one for you.

Nolda - is the move complete? How does the new place feel?

I'm so much happier since our scan. I can finally start to believe in this baby. I'm starting to plan the nursery and think of names. Anyone hot any good boys name suggestions? Im devoid of inspiration, boys names are much harder! I'm also starting to weed out all the pink baby clothes (sob). I am thrilled to have a boy but as this will be our very last I'm strangely sad to say goodbye to another little girl (whose name would have been sooooo much easier!).

VagolaJingling Wed 02-Jan-13 10:56:15

Happy new year all and pip di di pip hoorah! to a new thread. The boys and I had a quiet one in but thanks to the dutchttradition of buying up massive amounts of fireworks per household and setting them off in one massive display inffront of their homes we were treated to a display bigger than Sydney & London put together. DH was in times square and also had a good one.

Kayz I love that DS2 had a little new years resolution of his own, good on him for getting out of his pull ups at night.

JJ that is so cute about the chocolate orange theif.

Aubs boys names are way harder, definitely. Esp if you throw in a DH who vetoes any name that he doesn't believe is strong enough.

I think a trip to see Vag is a lovely idea. There is a lovely area in south Amsterdam near Vondel park which is really nice, near the big museums. We can also get thoroughly trashed as PD suggested. I know a very nice cocktail bar too, they are a bit exy but very yum. if you fancy something a little more relaxing there is a spa which is just a tram ride from the center which has a massive (though textile free) spa area with hotel attached.

Indith that is wonderful news about your friend. Sonething happy for the new year.

Just aalso

VagolaJingling Wed 02-Jan-13 10:57:57

Stupid phone it is having a seizure. Just wanted to add need prayers and white light for a old school mate in Sydney who has gone missing. Her poor family are a reck, she has been gone for 4 days now.

Rubena Wed 02-Jan-13 12:27:55

Happy New Year all! grin
Thanks for the input re taking off the pull ups at night - I still haven't as yet, only as ds has been having the odd nightmare so want to get over that, as well as the washing machine just broke and haven't got any proper waterproof sheets yet, but will do soon!

Lady, your Christmas sounded lovely despite the oven and dodgy gifts for dp hmm Hope you enjoyed the party NYE! Hope you come to a decision soon re the 3rd. I bet it keeps you up at times thinking about it all. I can relate to a lot of your and dps fears about another, as most of them would be on my list (if I had one!) but if you still have that niggling, then it can't be overlooked. Big list of pros and cons needed for you I reckon.

Arti - am so so thrilled for your latest news of the scan. What a great way to start the new year x True what you say as my brother said the same about do I want anyone coming (40th plans) if they don't help out as much as I'd like, but I think it's just that I'd like my family there despite their shite effort with the kids. Actually, they put in a massive effort after I had a small spat with Dad, although you could tell it wasn't coming naturally. I've realised I'm never gonna change them and have accepted that hmm so then I feel fine about it. I will however do something, where if they want to come along, its great, but won't cost us anymore etc, and won't be relying on them to babysit.

Lovely to see you PD!! It has been far too long!

Beans you sound chipper, great to hear it. I think dh bickering is quite common over the hols especially with littles about more and all that. Hows your Mum doing and how is chilli?

Kayz how long it DP away for? I second the low carbing, however I have done none of such in the last 6weeks, so am really podgy and have been about .08 bac since mid Dec! Diet, joining gym and detox is on, as soon as the next day or so pass and I'm over being sad that parent's went home last night.
Well done to DS and his de-pulluping!!

Vag, I have shared your pic although I only know about 2 people in Sydney. You never know though. How awful for her small children and family - hoping they get good news soon. The story sounds so odd?

I'd be up for a Veggie related trip if it was not too spendy, however we have just decided to cut all travel and big spending this year as will be moving in November [sigh] Actually it's only news in the last few days, and I'm feeling pretty good about it. Basically the LL was going to sell the house to us when we were ready at the end of this lease at a very much undervalued price, but his health has deteriorated rapidly recently and he's decided to start liquidating assets on advice, so is getting a house valuation (tomorrow) instead, and has instructed the agent to do formal viewings 2 months before our lease ends. We are of course welcome to make an offer earlier (which we can't) however after he gets the valuation we know he will probably not accept the low price he was going to let us have it for, and therefore it won't be worth our while. We only wanted to buy it to make easy money, and if we can't, would rather buy something with slightly more land and something we would prefer to live in. Did any of that make sense?
Anyway, if we don't sell the flat, then it's pretty much dh working non-stop and me doing less and less of my work and helping dh more so he can works more.
Crikey, that was long....
Still full of cold here and feeling a bit foggy so off to medicate!

beans37 Wed 02-Jan-13 13:20:58

Lovely to hear from you, Rubes.

Vag, I think you should be called VagolaTingling after the festive season, non? Am thinking of your friend. Let us know if she's found, please?

Kayz, I so know that feeling of post-baby bloat. It's so hard to lose the weight and please don't do any fad diets as they really don't last and when you go back to normal eating, you put it all back on, plus more. Low carbs sounds sensible and maintainable, so do something like that.

Mum coming up this afternoon as I'm off to have my bumhole examined tomorrow. I stopped eating 15 mins ago, and nothing now allowed til tomorrow evening. Gutted as am like a bear with a sore head when I don't eat!!! Poor children! Laxatives begin at 6pm and I need to be near a loo, apparently. Joy. DH very sensibly staying in London with friends tonight. This should probably be the pinnacle of my poo career so far, however, having already done 3 today, am not really excited about it.

Speaking of bumholes, as you do, I heard DD2 watching Something Special this morning and calling out to Justin "MR BUMHOLE". She's a comedy genius. Although she actually does think it's Mr Bumhole, not Mr Tumble. Minds firmly in the gutter, my littles.

Also, have realised how much I must swear unknowingly, as DD1 pulled her satsuma out of her stocking on Christmas Day and declared that she had a "fucking orange". Which is nice. I don't really feel like parent of the year at the moment!

Thanks for asking, Rubes - Mum is doing ok. Ups and downs, really. But very stiff upper lip about it and is v private, so does her weeping in private, I think.

Chilli is a little darling, although a total scaredy cat. Terrified of a lot of things, which is frustrating. Especially as am trying to lavish love on her at the moment and she's still really tentative. She enjoyed Cumbria and Dumfries, though, as there was a border terrier puppy there for her to play with.

Wow, I'm dribbling on. Sorry!


McKayz Wed 02-Jan-13 13:33:09

Beans, don't worry about the 'fucking orange' DS1 called his friend a bastard. I never use bastard and XH said he uses it a lot. I was not impressed at all.

Rubena Wed 02-Jan-13 13:53:57

Trying the iPhone app. This is going way back but I remember you asking about the Samsung phone Beans. Dh thinks they are way better than iPhone and I must say his is very fast.
Not going to lie both my mum and brother have had the bum camera. The gunk they had to Drink to prep is not pretty. Nor is the bowel emptying that follows from their independent descriptions!
I'm sure Chilli will settle in time.
I did Pmsl at dds stocking announcement. Not so funny when they go to nursery and say it! Gotta go and wipe a bum.

KiwiPanda Wed 02-Jan-13 16:11:03

Hello everyone! Have been absent for a while but lurking. Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and New Year.

Arti so glad the scan was perfect and you can relax and enjoy (insofar as anyone enjoys pregnancy??) now. Re boy's names, I am rubbish, it's a good job we have two girls or a boy would have been called "Junior", "Boy" or "Him" as we could never agree on a single name.

Indith that's lovely news. I'm sure her little girl will always be there in her thoughts but a new health DS will help her move on a little, I expect, or keep her busy enough to feel that way. My DH had a sister who died at a few weeks old and I think his brother was born pretty soon afterwards (well, obviously at least 9 months probably more) and that helped his parents deal on a day to day basis with it.

Vag don't know anyone in Sydney but I really hope your friend turns up safe and sound.

Hope all the various pox ridden ones are on the mend! Seems to have been rife this Xmas, am realising we got away with it very lightly last year when both DDs had it.

Kayz seconded on sensible dieting. I have a real bugbear about any diets which claim to magically work. The ONLY thing that works is eating less calories, and it's obviously better if they come from healthy, balanced foods. Try one of those calorie counter apps/ sites, then are quite good these days I think, they also help you balance right amount of protein/fat/carbs etc as well as just calories counting.

Sorry am sure I've missed out a million other things but am at work so can't be too long! We had a very nice Christmas - DD2 started walking just before, on the day of her sister's 4th birthday party, bless her for a bit of younger sister limelight-stealing there .. and has been sleeping longer in the morning every since. Post 6am! Given she was up every day for best part of 6 months at somewhere betwen 4.45-5am that's a pretty massive improvement.

I'd love to go and visit Vag but we are totally broke so not sure I can afford it. ALL our money goes on childcare. it will get a lot better when DD1 starts school and we stop having to pay two loads of full time nursery fees of course.

DH gave me a session wiht a specialist running coach who is going to do me personalised training plans for Xmas. That was on New Year's Day (good job I didn't have any exciting plans.. only DH would assume New Year's Day was good for running at 8am..) So I am still heavily into my running. Planning to do 4 or so half marathons this year then aim for the big marathon next year (2014). Apparently I have 4 or 5 more years of improvement in me before age takes over and it's all decline grin

So, back to work...

McKayz Wed 02-Jan-13 17:24:59

Rubes, DH is away for 2 months. It's 60 days he is meant to do but sometimes does a few less or more.

Arti, I think DH will always work away. He loves his job and he had always wanted to do it as a child. It's annoying but we get on with it.

I am very very tempted by the low carbs. But no idea if I'd be able to do it as I love love my rice and pasta. I am going to try it though. Maybe limit myself to just 2 portions of carbs a week or something.

Vag, I really really hope your friend shows up soon.

Nolda Wed 02-Jan-13 17:47:59

Kayz, well done to your DS2 on a dry night. Wish he'd have a word with mine!

Arti, re boys names, I liked Hector but doesn't go with our surname. Douglas was vetoed by FIL. Patrick was too Irish according to DH. Christopher? I'm thinking you'd prefer a traditional name? Was tempted to have Axel as a middle name...

Hi PD, nice to hear from you.

We are now living in the new house but we still need to fetch a few more things. I don't know anyone here but I used to work not far away pre-DC and I'm still in occasional contact with a ex colleague so will arrange to meet up with her. Hopefully, we'll get the old house on the market soon, once we've smartened it up a bit. The rented house seems to have a bit of a mould issue on the windows so I'm looking forward to a good cleaning session (not). I've been sneezing all day today.

Better go and see if the kitchen works!

McKayz Wed 02-Jan-13 18:01:56

Nolda, we've had 2 dry nights from him now. It was an utter shock, we'd been saying a few days earlier how unready he was.

Arti, we were going to call DD Isaac Henry if she was a boy. Both my sister and SIL are expecting boys. Sister is calling hers TJ hmm and SIL is calling hers Patrick.

ArtigeneAuberchoke Wed 02-Jan-13 19:07:24

Nolda, I love the name Hector but DH says no because it reminds him of MPs hectoring each other. Kayz I also like Isaac, it's on our "maybe" list. DH suggests Reuben which was the name of his great uncle who was Deputy Chairman of the British Communist party and who has several pages of 'Spycatcher' devoted to him. DH loved him and so loves the name. I think it's also a "maybe" but I'm worried it's too American or too religious or something. I am however unable to think of one name I love to suggest in return. I always wanted a son called George but that's taken by our nephew and is tarnished by the George Bushes. I also love Henry but that's taken too. Given DD1 is named after my late mother I should probably honour my late father but he was an Allan so there is no way I'm doing that to the poor child!

ShadyLadyT Wed 02-Jan-13 21:14:32

I am standing in the kitchen waiting for DP to finish a work call (he has only just got home and he left at the crack of dawn!) Anyway, proper catch up tomorrow but just to say to Arti I love Hector. It may be my top boy choice. Well, actually I slightly prefer Horatio but DP was never keen. Horace is also another good Classical Studies name!

Boy names are so hard though. As far as trad names are concerned I like Henry, Charles, Edmund, Johnny...Um, I quite like Robin...And some oldy names I quite like such as Cedric or Oswald...and Hugh. Hmmm, am sure they won't be to most people's taste grin

beans37 Thu 03-Jan-13 08:04:41

I love Guy and Peter and Edward and Douglas. Just throwing in my tuppence worth. Literally. Am in throws of laxative hell before botty photoshoot at 2.30 today. Thankfully Mum's here helping out with the girls!

Nolda Thu 03-Jan-13 08:38:46

Beans, I hope the bum cam goes OK. I've had it done with no anaesthetic as was bfing. It was fine but watch out for terrible windage afterwards!

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 08:39:52

Botty photoshoot!!!! gringringrin Thinking of you Beans hmm
Still coughing up mountains of green phlegm. dh put Toy Story on when he left so I could sleep, but I only got an extra hour then whined at to build a helicopter.
Now I know we're moving I want to move now and am desperate to get more land around us. We are already eying off a place - who knows why when we have 10 months before moving. DH has been offered extra work post exam which is really good but potentially means quite a few 7 day weeks here and there hmm And I will work loads for him at home otherwise not possible. I am already looking to 2014 as 13 is going to be the year of nothing but work.

Nolda Thu 03-Jan-13 08:41:04

Not actually Bfing during procedure! But you know what I mean.

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 08:43:17

grin Nolda!

McKayz Thu 03-Jan-13 08:44:14

Hope it all goes well Beans!!

Rubes, we are hoping to move next year but I keep looking at houses. I should stop as I find ones I love but can't buy. I found our almost perfect house a few days ago. It has 4 large bedrooms and a big kitchen. It doesn't have a garden though and is about 23 miles from here on the coast. I'd love to move there.

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 08:45:53

I'm stressing now about ds schools. Have done my app for him but what happens if I move 2 mths after his first year? Do I just drive him if we don't move far and put him in a list for closer one? And at what point would I take him out if they had room at the closer one?

DeidreBarlow Thu 03-Jan-13 08:49:19

beans Good luck with the bum shoot today!

Rubes Hope you feel better soon, 2013 certainly sounds like its going to be busy for you and DH...do you think you'll have to give up your work at some point this year as a result?

arti My friend has just had a little boy called Arthur, which I thought was rather lovely. I do like Reuben...I found boys names very difficult. In fact we had picked DS's name out when I was pg with DD, and it was still the only real goer when I was pg with DS!!

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 08:50:34

Kayz Ah ok. I guess loads of people move. I just know ds isn't going to be the easiest to settle in school as all his Pre school mates are going elsewhere. One of which is a school I was considering driving him further too as its much better, and that one is nearest to the house we eyed off! Think ill worry about it when the time comes.

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 08:56:40

Hi Deids.
The plan is to do less and less of the trolly Dollying. Im using parental leave a lot this year, then they just offered unpaid leave so have applied. Just working the bare min to stay legal for flying so I can see how much time I need for dh's work he has for me. Getting too old to be a cart tart anyway! I love a little break now and then and enjoy it when I'm at lovely places, but I can see more sense in helping dh more and not stressing over childcare for a measly 6 days a month.

DeidreBarlow Thu 03-Jan-13 09:12:24

Rubes That makes sense...cart tart thoughgrin that made me giggle!

Oh I best get to work myself. DCs stayed at mums last night so I've had a lie in. I cannot get into the swing of things since the Christmas holidays!!

McKayz Thu 03-Jan-13 09:13:33

Rubes, I moved schools and started just after Easter in Year 2. On my very first day I went to play at a girls house. I had only met her that day. She's still a great friend now too. My old head teacher always told new starters that story and apparently they still do now about 20 years later.

I don't think moving children to a different school is that bad when they are still young. DS1 has had 2 new starters and they all get on very well and you'd never now they started after the others.

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 09:30:46

Thanks Kayz. That makes me feel better. If it was dd starting school first I wouldn't be concerned at all. She's such a little extrovert whereas ds hides behind his friends.
Right have managed to build the chopper. Wondering if I can find strength to go to the farm shop....

sybilfaulty Thu 03-Jan-13 09:44:57

Good luck for today darling. Hope your botty rises to the occasion XXX

ShadyLadyT Thu 03-Jan-13 14:35:34

Right, the girls have got Disney Princess sticker books so I am hoping I can have a bit of p and q to catch up a bit. We are on Disney Princess overload here. It's been said before but even I worry that the stories are a bit enfeebling - all about looking pretty and waiting for handsome princes. Ah well, I suppose I liked all that guff and I don't subscribe to it all now grin

Good luck Beans! I expect you are just being prepped as I type. Think of it this way, a lot of people would be envious at having a colonic clear out just after Christmas! In fact some people pay good money for it! (Not me, but I wouldn't be averse to it. Some colleagues of DP's go to a spa in Thailand every year and it's all eating veg and giving yourself daily enemas...) I laughed at 'fucking orange'. I must say I had a similar thought on opening my own stocking grin

Rubes, that is exciting about the move. Which locations are you zoning in on? Sorry about your current house - I like it. So spacious, and quiet. Despite being a fan of period properties I must say that modern houses often have a much better layout (and better storage). Hope you're not too blue after the folks going back. So are you selling Henley? Gosh, an exciting year ahead. I am not deciding re: DC3 until we get some sort of refinancing in place. I really hope we can (not because of another DC so much, but more because without it we will be in the poo). We are considering selling DP's flat. There's not much equity in it (bout £20k tops) and it's just not appreciating. So the plan is to get another flat in London but we need more of a deposit than that so might have to wait a few years....

How did the skating go, Sybs? Oh blow, the girls want the Playdoh now. Hang on.

ShadyLadyT Thu 03-Jan-13 15:05:56

Lovely to see you back, PD. Yes, I still have two trips left from 2012 to catch up on, both of which I would like to do in Jan but funds permitting. One in Jan and one in Feb is more likely. Ryanair is vv cheap at this time of year. I looked at flights for me and girls to Portugal last night, and return flights for all three of us came to about £120. (Arti, I won't be doing a trip a month in 2013 as even budget trips would bankrupt us! It was just my treat for turning 40). Anyway, since you ask, my Italian is going slowly grin I am too lazy (and also a bit too busy) to really throw myself into it properly. I'd much rather learn Spanish because of my love affair with Spain...but I must admit that as a language, Italian is incredibly elegant. Have you still got your mysterious gaff in Spain?

ZJ - our last boy on the thread was of course Indith's Arthur though our last baby was Kayz's Rosalie. We do have more girls than boys though, espec as children born after Dec 08...

Indith, it's great that you are doing this course and what a life change for you. What will happen re: DH's job? And of course, at 29 you are a mere whippersnapper grin

I like your NY resolution, Jam grin We must resolve to do the same. Although with DP's big trial kicking off next week, he won't be around that much.

I'd love to come and see you, Vag. If we could keep costs down (no offence!) I am also going to look into a weekend UK cottage rental for us...

Nice to see you back, KP. Gosh, so DD2 is walking now! Wow! How is the whole work sitch?

Kayz, I must say cutting down on carbs is the only thing that works for me (but I have insulin resistance issues so I have a reason to cut carbs as a point of general health) but if you love carbs it is very hard at first (though you do get used to it). However, a lot of docs recommend the GI diet. It does push you away from refined carbs and majors on more healthy, complex ones. Dieting is a massive bummer though, you have my every sympathy. How exciting about the move! Looking now is good even if you have to wait a year, cos you can get a handle on what's out there.

ShadyLadyT Thu 03-Jan-13 15:18:36

Oh, and no anaesthesia for the bum camera, Nolda? Hardcore! But not quite as hardcore as the C19th writer Fanny Burney. She had a masectomy with no anaesthetic, performed by a battlefield surgeon shock But she did go on to live for another 30 odd years. She wasn't on the battlefield - she was just well connected and he was deemed to be the best due to his vast experience hmm

Vag - any news of your friend??

I finally managed to do DD1's school application last night. Deadline is in a fortnight. Results on April 16 - as previously mentioned, my birthday!

Guy is a nice name, Beans. It's the name of a close friend of DP so I guess names of friends go off one's radar a bit. I still like DP's name, Alistair. Miles is nice as well. I think Pablo is a really cool name as well but probably only if you are Spanish, or similar grin

McKayz Thu 03-Jan-13 15:22:49

I love Fernando. But that's never going to work in North Yorkshire is it?

ShadyLadyT Thu 03-Jan-13 15:39:02

grin I think it would raise a few eyebrows in Oxfordshire an' all. But possibly not in Buenos Aires.

Martin Amis called one of his daughters Fernanda. Which is lovely but his wife is of Uruguayan descent.

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 15:50:20

Hiya Lady, buying this house was only ever to make money and turn it quick as the owner was going to sell it to us about 100K under market value as he just wanted rid of it. Since then it seems his children have stepped in and advised him differently.... hmm Although this one reminds me of home, our ideal house actually would be period, but with the inside gutted as we both prefer open plan, high ceilings, whilst in keeping with the character, and then a good size garden / land around. I'm desperate for a fire / log burner again. But then again that's probably most peoples ideal. I would prefer more land than our view any day. So now, we are def not wanting to move to rent again, so going to try and afford to buy something we want to add value to and stay in awhile. Like the areas between here and Guildford, or similar but need to be not far from a station as dh will be switching to Ch&W before we move and will need to train it in.

Kayz, Fernando grin I know one, in Spain!
I'm more a traditional names type, clearly. I like Samuel (which ds nearly was) I also like Isaac, Alexander, Oliver, Harry. I don't mind Reubin, though it sounds like my dog a little grin

ShadyLadyT Thu 03-Jan-13 16:07:37

I was hoping to lure you to Oxfordshire but from an investment point of view you are obviously better looking where you are looking (or London of course!) DP is in Guildford this week, he is finding the commute a bugger. It's not that far in the car but a total pain on public transport (which he is using as he needs to work on the way and on the way back). Long bus journey, plus two or three train journeys. 2013 is also the Year of Much Work here (not as much as your DH though I guess).

The girls have made Armageddon of the kitchen with the effing Playdoh. Sigh.

ArtigeneAuberchoke Thu 03-Jan-13 16:29:36

I like Guy but DH refuses anything he sees as "posh" and Guy falls into that category for him. In fact he has rejected the following names on those grounds: William, Caspian, Tobias and Charles. We nearly fell out over William which I love and don't see as belonging to any particular class. I also think it's odd that DH, who went to one of the country's top public schools followed by Cambridge, should have such a hang-up about being seen as posh. Sigh.

I hope today's procedure went well Beanio. I can't believe that your DH stayed away!

I'm making aubergine ptarmigan for dinner. No doubt on kid or the other will make a massive fuss. I'm finding mealtimes exhausting as I've spent my 2.5 weeks off trying to extend their palettes by offering a new meal each day. I've only struck on two that they both loved, rather surprisingly one was a cauliflower and chickpea curry and the other was salmon fillets with dressed puy lentils, beetroot and feta! They rejected: fajitas, pumpkin and bacon soup, three types of risotto and fish stew. I'm not sure why I bothered (except DH and I enjoyed everything) they'll be happy when the nanny returns and agrees to a cycle of tuna bake, bolognaise and chicken noodles.

McKayz Thu 03-Jan-13 16:51:10

I love Tobias and Caspian. DH said no to both when I was pregnant with DD. He also said no to Reuben and Jasper.

I don't think William is posh really. I agree it doesn't really go into a 'class'.

JamInMyWellies Thu 03-Jan-13 16:54:07

On the names front I love Robin. I also love Edward but NN of Teddy. I really wanted that for DS2 but DH overruled me so instead we went very Scottish and no bugger can pronounce it correctly.

I am so ready for the boys to go back to school we went bowling this afternoon so thats me bankrupted and the boys and their pals soundly beat me. blush

Beasn come back and let us know how you got on a close friend ex boss had to have it done and was only allowed to eat jelly after a certain time.

Lady I am not sure either how we are going to our bonkathon as I will hardly see DH for the next 2 months.

We have decided to look into getting our extension done. Am already terrified of the cost as friends had some work done last year and it was vv spenny.But we both still think it would be cheaper than moving.

Must do tea. Oh and arti I tried to do the introduce new meals to the children it lasted about 3 wks before I lost the plot at the amount of food I was chucking so my 2 exist on a very small selection of meals.Its heartbreaking especially as DH and I love our food.

Ok DS2 whinging about wanting to play cbeebies. Back later.

ShadyLadyT Thu 03-Jan-13 17:00:11

That's such a shame that your DH worries about this stuff, Arti. William is a lovely name - classy, but classless! And timeless. It's like objecting to...John or something. Would he only be happy with Reuben, do you think?

Here is a list of names of random boy kids at pre-school/in the village: Miller, Ned, Wilf, Archie, Tom, Flynn, Hamish, Patrick, Nick, Caleb, Alfie.

Could you find any inspiration in names from history of people you admire? (For instance, I know of a boy who was named Clement, after Atlee).

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 17:00:18

Wow I don't see 'Guy' as posh at all! Then again, what do I know.
I see Reubin, Caspian, Charles, all of Lady's fave's as posh. DH is William, which I just see as v popular. DH dismissed Georgia for A which I loved, as being too American hmm
Lady, yes Oxfordshire is definitely a favorite area of ours, just with dh going back into London for a bit, we can't be too far out. We love the rural-ish areas around here, but clearly they come with a hefty price tag so would have to find something liveable but we could work on. Didn't know dp was in Guildford so soon! Gosh, so he has to work all the way there and back. Sounds like dh listening to his lectures in the car! You could have visited us if he drove - though we've all been / still are fluey big time and just remembered you've got pox with you! How are they? Any signs on O?
Arti I go through phases of the same. My two still have fairly limited menu's. DS much better than dd as he likes Vegetables, but dd literally pics speccs out of anything I cook if it's green - quite exhausting - [sigh]
Speaking of her, she's really acting up about napping. Do any of yours 2.5 ish not nap at all? If she does eventually nap, then when bedtime rolls around she chats to her dolls forever in between intermittently screaming for me to come up!

Indith Thu 03-Jan-13 17:00:41

Is William really that posh? Well my William isn't the only one around here, more than one of them at school and we live in an ex pit village in the NE....posh?

I do find names for boys difficult. Ds1 got the only one we were both firmly in agreement over. Ds2 is just lucky he was dc3 not dc2 grin. I suggested Arthur for the others but dh rejected it, by the time ds2 was born he had been won over.

Dh likes Dylan which I never really have (no offence intended, I just don't like it much but I don't actualy know why I don't, caused lots of arguments that did!). I like Edward, Sebastian, Joseph.....

I do love more "out there" names too. Spiggy who used to post on here and I see quite often called her ds2 Ptolomy which is fabulous.

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 17:03:05

ooh cross posted. I meant Ladys first list not the pre-school one. Out of those I like Caleb and Flynn. I also like Finlay and Harrison which aren't posh I suppose.

ShadyLadyT Thu 03-Jan-13 17:03:17

Hooray, another vote for Robin! I really do think it's lovely. So underused. I am so glad it's not just me. I do like Jasper, Kayz. In fact a pal of mine used it for his boy, and it had an extra resonance as both the parents are geologists!

What are you having extended, Jam? If we can refinance I think we will get a conservatory. We need it - the living room is small and dark.

McKayz Thu 03-Jan-13 17:08:15

Indith, your DH has good taste. Dylan is fab grin

DH went to school with a Robyn so refused Robin as he considers it to be a girls name.

DS2 was at playschool with 2 brothers called Albie and Syd. Short for Albert and Sydney.

ShadyLadyT Thu 03-Jan-13 17:09:07

Eek, crossposted with tons there!

Rubes, if he'd been driving I'd definitely have seen you - O is ok now and no signs yet on D. Yep, the prep for the big trial is killing him and the day to day stuff on this current one is bad - the solicitor on the case was ringing up on and off until 11.30pm last night as well and then DP was up until well after 1 this morning (again!) I don't really like Caleb and his mother is such a pill

Naps - I think DD2 is thinking about dropping hers sad But we're not quite there yet. I was hoping to hang on to it until she was about 3.

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 17:10:58

Caleb is American sounding to me. I'm aactually not that keen on it saying it out loud!

ShadyLadyT Thu 03-Jan-13 17:13:48

Ptolemy! Wowee. I still love Horatio. But DP would never agree to THAT. I don't know why. Nelson was quite a fella.

ShadyLadyT Thu 03-Jan-13 17:15:08

Funnily enough Rubes, I think they're from NZ. I don't know if there are many Calebs there.

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 17:16:13

I'm with DP Lady!

ShadyLadyT Thu 03-Jan-13 17:18:35

Noooooooooooooo! grin (And I know one in RL and he's a peach)

ArtigeneAuberchoke Thu 03-Jan-13 17:27:24

Ptolemy is DH's joke name for the bump. I love Horatio Lady and I like Wilfred. Talking about names inspired from history DH likes Aneurin nn Nye. Given political neutrality is vital to our careers I don't think that's a goer. We seriously would have to hide it from work. In fact DH likes lots if odd Welsh names (Iolo, Owain, Teifion) bit the children's surname is already v Welsh and we are not Welsh (except when DH watches rugby) so I'm saying no.

About to serve the parmigana, DD2 excited, DD1 wants to know my back-up plan...

ArtigeneAuberchoke Thu 03-Jan-13 17:30:09

BTW Indith, William and Arthur are two of my top names. I'm working on DH!

DeidreBarlow Thu 03-Jan-13 17:34:04

I do like Jasper but its the name of FILs boat so that was always a no go. I also watch too much CSI & Horatio reminds me of the guy on CSI Miami grin . I do like Flynn though and Felix...

Oh and DS has a very small list of things he will eat, which appears to have gotten smaller since the pox <sigh>

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 17:34:44

Struth. That is all.

We are going back in time here. Oven broken (we have a smaller one still working luckily) Washing machine broke 2 days ago and Sky box just packed it in today. I will have to revert to old school washing as the mountain to do is getting silly and they can't come until Tuesday to even look at it!

McKayz Thu 03-Jan-13 17:34:54

Not including Indith's I know 3 Arthur's that have been born in last 12 months. All 3 are called Arti actually. It would be the perfect name for your DS Arti smile

ShadyLadyT Thu 03-Jan-13 17:35:36

An anglicised Owen is not too bad. But I do see that the very distinctive Aneurin (I can only think of one - the one!) would not go hand in hand with political neutrality...

DD2 has a terrible nickname - Peevlin. It's Welsh for Paul and it came out of an ancient names book we had. She gets called Peevo or Peeve and it's such a shame because a) she had a beautiful name and b) it makes her sound peevish, and she is anything but!

Hope the girls like their supper.

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 17:35:45

Jasper is My nephews name! I didn't like it at first but it grew on me! He got called Jazz at school though hmm

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 17:37:06

A friend called her son Owen - quite like.

ShadyLadyT Thu 03-Jan-13 17:37:43

Oh yeah, Felix is brill but again, it's the husb of a friend. Love Arthur too.

Sorry about the oven, Rubes! Ours is still bust. Right, MUST close the computer - have had a v unproductive, if pleasant, afternoon grin

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 17:39:57

unproductive here too.... Never made it to the farm shop.... Managed to eat for the Commonwealth though..... But am still sick in my defense.....

McKayz Thu 03-Jan-13 17:42:51

My cat when I was a child was called Felix. I couldn't get past a black and white fluffball when my SIL suggested it.

DeidreBarlow Thu 03-Jan-13 17:46:20

I can see the pet connection with Felix but its such a lovely name.

Bummer about the washer & oven rubes. I am still on a go slow follow Christmas. I have loads of washing to do but just feel like eating take away & drinking wine! Which needs to stop before my kidneys pack up and I put on a stone.grin

Rubena Thu 03-Jan-13 18:07:20

I hear that Deids. I've managed to put the brakes on the wine since parents left but since being ill and house bound am eating out of boredom, and feeling too from to exercise. It all stops now though. Think we will go no alcohol until dh birthday at end if month. Right need to get small people out of bath and and sort grown ups dinner supper!

Vagolajahooli Thu 03-Jan-13 19:07:38

Crikey Moses but you ladies have been chatty. Here are my thoughts on the recent chat in point form.
&#9679; I love Felix closely followed by Robin.
&#9679; I have been surprised by a like of the name Miller.
&#9679; Indith is 29!
&#9679; William is not posh. Though can sympathize with Mr Arti, I didnt like DS2s name initially but for a different reason. I thought it was a bit chav/bogan.
&#9679;when & where are we having a weekend break?
&#9679; low or no carb is good. I'm thinking of doing a three day juice detox then going back on the 4 week no carb diet and strength work regime I did before Christmas. I haven't put on too much weight over Christmas but I think that was because of snowboarding and I've got some more muscle these days.
&#9679;where is beans?

DH is back from new York, he had a little trouble getting back as he was flying via Philadelphia but his N.Y. to Philly flight was cancelled. Luckily they got him on a direct flight with klm.

Vagolajahooli Thu 03-Jan-13 19:08:18

Oops that &#9679; should have been a black bullet point.

Nolda Thu 03-Jan-13 19:51:15

Lady, I have a friend with 3 DS, one is named after WW2 PM, one after boy scouts founder and one has a judge's surname as first name, begins with d and ends in ing. The boys are fortunately quite feisty. Their names have grown on me over time.

Arti, one of my culinary adventures ended with DS bursting into tears and asking for normal supper. Your meals sound yummy. Talking of meals, I'd better cook DH something.

ShadyLadyT Thu 03-Jan-13 19:56:53

I know which judge you are talking about Nolda - I know his descendants in RL grin. Ha. They (grandsons or maybe great grandsons, I never know) are simply called Mark and Paul!

Vag, you sound like you are looking quite muscly and buff grin I love it when Australians say bogan. I had never even heard the word until I read The Slap. Which reminds me, Hugo was once one of my faves but the kid in that book who is called that is such a brat.

I have eaten SUCH crap today - Manchego and cream from the tub <shame>

ArtigeneAuberchoke Thu 03-Jan-13 20:25:42

Stop press! The aubergene parmigana was a huge success. Both DDs had seconds and when DH got home and ate his he said it was delicious. I end my cooking adventures on a high.

Who is the judge Nolda? It's driving my crazy. DH suggests Denn ing, is he right?

poisondwarf Thu 03-Jan-13 20:46:34

Beans hope your bum photoshoot went well. I had a colonoscopy a couple of years ago and I thought my insides looked really rather beautiful in my woozy state. The worst part was the sedative - silly nurse kept just jabbing at me and alternately giggling & blaming me for her not being able to get the needle in. I ended up nearly passing out and they had to get someone else to do it in the end but it seems to have given me some kind of needle phobia as I ended up nearly passing out when I went to give blood and they told me I wasn't allowed to give it again!

Vag I've been to Vondel park before - it's lovely. I haven't been to Amsterdam for yonks but the last time I was on my own for work and it was really sunny and I spent lots of time wasted on park benches and outside cafes. It was fab. I might just bob over anyway even if nobody else can. Who does the cheapest flights? I really hope they find your friend soon by the way - has there been any news?

Rubes exciting about the move. On the school front at DS's school there were 3 new children (out of 60) after the first half term of reception but none since then. From what I've been told there seems to be quite a bit of movement early on but it can be a struggle to get into popular schools if you leave it later. Love cart tart, not heard that before!

LadyT yes Italian is lovely and you'll find that it makes Spanish a doddle to learn when you get round to it as it's like an easier version of Italian. And yes I do still have my mysterious Spanish property. The mystery being why we ever thought it was a good idea to buy it. Seriously, it makes me cringe to think about it so I kind of blank it out of my mind until somebody asks. Hey, who fancies a weekend in Spain?

On the weight loss thing I second the calorie counting apps - it has come as a great surprise to me as a bit of a diet cynic that calorie counting actually works (for me anyway). It is quite pitiful the amount of food 1200 calories a day comes to though I have to say (not that I manage to hit that very often but still).

Vaguely on that subject Arti you mentioned a while back about DH's cholesterol & stuff - about a year ago I had mine tested and it was pretty high, which was a bit of a shock to me (mainly cos I'm a vegetarian and although I'm not particularly active I do cycle to work & stuff). They told me if I lost even a bit of weight it should affect it significantly and it has - my cholesterol was down to the normal range last time I had it checked. My BMI was about the same as your DH's at the time and it's now about 22.5 or something, so not anything drastic. I also cut down massively on saturated fat (am a bit of a butter and cheese maniac if given the chance) and ate lots more fruit & veg & porridge, and also took plant sterols & high dose niacin (my cholesterol stayed low even when I stopped taking them). I also suspect swimming twice a week might not do the trick if he is sedentary most of the rest of the time - I keep reading about how harmful a sedentary lifestyle can be even if you exercise regularly. Oh and aubergine parmigiana - yum. My all-time favourite. But aubergine is one of those things that only tastes nice if somebody else has cooked it. Bit like other people's crisps.

Boys' names - I must admit I found finding a name for DD much harder than DS. My vote also goes to Robin. I also like Sebastian although I wouldn't use it (hate Seb). Alistair is lovely, as is Gabriel. I also LOVE the name Idris for some reason. For plain names I actually quite like Paul - it's one of those names that's underused and due a revival I think. Joseph is nice (family name). I'm not a big fan of most of the "posher" end of the name spectrum tbh. I wouldn't count William as posh btw (although it's not classless either in my book - I can't think of any who are not middle class or up).

Oh isn't it lovely to be having a chat about names again? Thank you Arti!

JumpJockey Thu 03-Jan-13 21:11:47

I should have read the last thread but am gathering quite quickly that Arti is having a boy grin hurrah! He will be doted upon by his big sisters smile

Names - I like Arthur because it's my Dad! William is a really timeless one, lots of nickname possibilities as well, not sure how DH can disagree on that... I love Felix and Edmund, E's god-brother is a Felix and so is S's best friend at nursery. Jasper I like except for me that rings pet bells as it was our cat's name (as was Hector!) other names round here/ at nursery are Daniel, Nicolas, Thomas, Reuben, Timothy, Alfie, Alex. Has anyone mentioned Benedict? I like that for being a bit different to Benjamin. We played a lot of "Oxford Dictionary of Saints" when thinking of names for the girls - open at random and choose a name. I give you Bettelin, Beuno and Billfrith. Oh how about Dunstan? That's west country though not preposterously Welsh. What's your due date and I can tell you who it would be?!

Beans hope your bottom has performed well today.

Rubes re napping, S was always a 3 hours a day girl (!!!!!!!) then when she dropped her nap, it basically went from all to nothing but she slept much better at night and for longer. Might that make a difference with dd? How is she at nights these days? There were some weeks of awful evenings until she got used to going to sleep quickly and not waking up at stupid oclock, but then it all settled down.

Is everyone genuinely keen for a weekend away sans kids and men? I could set up a doodle poll to find when and where would suit (arrange sooo many meetings at work this way!) and we could try and actually do this. There are lots of you I have yet to meet apart from on FB so frankly I think you're actually hairy-handed truckers.

Right time for tea. Mmmm pasta with mushrooms and cream, it's got veggies therefore counts as a health food. Just ignore the mountain of parmesan grin

Nolda Thu 03-Jan-13 21:12:12

Arti, your DH was right and wins these thanks.

JumpJockey Thu 03-Jan-13 21:18:30

Oh Amsterdam, I had a lovely singing week there a few years ago and would love to go back. There was a fabby cafe in the red light district that did super sandwiches and cake!

Lady ciao! Come stai? Abbiamo un poco di Italiano, non parlo molto ma ascolto gli opere sulla radio! Ahem. grin wine my listening test when we did basic Italian classes was all "io prendo un bicchiere di vino rrrrosso" "un bicchiere di vino rrrrrrosso?" "si, un bicchiere di vino rrrrrosso". smile

poisondwarf Thu 03-Jan-13 22:24:30

JJ ma che cazzo vuol dire doodle poll?? <gesticulates wildly> but yeah whatever it is you should definitely do one. I did have a sneaky look at cottages the other day but a) I had no idea how many it would be for and b) most of them seemed to be mostly kitted out for couples (eg sleeps 10 would be 4 doubles and 2 twins or something). I would think it would be a bit of a logistical nightmare to sort out, but I did discover some geomidpoint(?) websites which you can put several locations in and it worked out the nearest place to the middle. I would be up for it anyway.

I've just finished watching Animal Kingdom. Anyone seen it? I really enjoyed it. I do like Guy Pearce - he's come a long way since Neighbours (what was his name again?). Now I want to go to Australia for the weekend.

poisondwarf Thu 03-Jan-13 22:31:45

Oh and speaking of fillums has anyone seen Life of Pi? I'm thinking of breaking the habit of a lifetime and going to see something that isn't aimed at 4 year olds.

ArtigeneAuberchoke Thu 03-Jan-13 22:40:27

Guy Pearce was Mike, Daphne and Des' foster son. He went out with Plain Jane Superbrain who was Mrs Mangles' specie granddaughter.

poisondwarf Thu 03-Jan-13 22:44:17

Gold star Arti! Double points for Daphne & Des and a bonus point for Plain Jane Superbrain. But what I want to know is how old you were when all this was going on? I think I was about 16 maybe which would make you about ... 5?

Oh and I hope you are going to make aubergine parmigiana on our weekend away!

Beans where are you??

poisondwarf Thu 03-Jan-13 22:47:34

Hang on it wasn't you who snogged Jason Donovan was it?

Honsandrevels Thu 03-Jan-13 22:51:07

Hello. I've got the worst cold I've had in years. Dh is being saintly as I am such a grumpy patient.

Hope all went well beans.

Re name chat. The girls would have been Henry and Wilfred. My all time favourite boys name is Rufus which dh vetoed.

My head is ssssooooo stuffy.

ArtigeneAuberchoke Thu 03-Jan-13 22:52:40

It was indeed me PD. I was a Neighbours obsessive in primary school. I used to actually cry when the credits rolled at 5.58pm on a Friday night as I had to survive a whole 71.5 hours until my next fix.

ArtigeneAuberchoke Thu 03-Jan-13 22:54:31

Sorry you are ill Hons. Feel better soon. I love Rufus rather a lot but clearly DH has vetoed on "posh" grounds.

DeidreBarlow Thu 03-Jan-13 23:03:46

PD haven't seen Life of Pi but did watch The Hobbit, which I thought was amazing...but I am a Tolkien geekgrin

JumpJockey Thu 03-Jan-13 23:27:39

Snogged Jason Donovan?! Whaaaaat?! We are in the presence of greatness!

Hons steam is the answer, steam and brandy (ahem) and more steam. Eventually you will be able to breathe again smile

poisondwarf Thu 03-Jan-13 23:39:10

Arti that`s hilarious! So go on, how old were you when you snogged JD?

DB I think I must be one of the few people on the planet who hasn`t read the Hobbit. I might get round to it when the kids are old enough. I am pursued by the hauting image of Martin Freeman with big pointy ears wherver I go at the moment which is not adding to the appeal of the film for me.

Sorry youre feeling crap Hons - hope it passes soon.

Well I've just dug out the teeny tiny plug-in keyboard which I`d forgotten I`d bought for my tablet which means - hooray! - I can post from my bed. But this blooody Mumset (cr)app only displays in portrait so I`m typing at a 90 degree angle to the writing. V annoying.

JamInMyWellies Fri 04-Jan-13 08:10:20

Arti JD how did I miss that.

Hons hope you are feeling a bit better.

Well DH has gone the beginning of the 2 months of hell. The bank better bloody appreciate this. They had him 7days a wk all of Dec now it's 7days a wk and overnights at the wkend. Boys are already upset about never seeing him. Must suck it up and think of the extra cash.

Rubena Fri 04-Jan-13 08:47:57

Jam I get that. Dh hasn't even started his full on working (next month) but ds has been suffering already as the last 2 nights dh not home until 10 ish. The second night was a creeping delay and I had told ds that dh would be back before he went to bed. Then this morning he was upset daddy was leaving again sad
He will thank him when he has a bigger garden at the end of the year hopefully.
JJ at what age did S drop her nap altogether? I have a feeling ds had dropped his around now so I might try it. I know I'll have to go through about a week of meltdowns around 5pm but to be fair it prob wont be too much out of the ordinary. She is meltdown queen.
They are coming to value the house today. Yip.
Beans? bum update?

beans37 Fri 04-Jan-13 08:54:30

Oh Jam - I feel your pain. We had that from October-December. Hellish. And while Dad was dying, dog arrived and chicken pox was upon us. Was worst three months of my life, but I managed. Try to keep your pecker up. Not in a willy-way. Because clearly, that's not going to happen for a while! Hee hee!

So, the botty test went ok. I can't honestly say I enjoyed it! BUT I wept on the bed before they gave me the drugs. then they were rather lovely. I have internal piles, which is a treat. And wow oh wow do I have wind now! I didn't eat from Weds at 1pm til last night and I was so very very hungry! But I hardly have any room for food as there is so much air in me!

I had to do a preggy test because I'm not using contraception, but it was negative, which was a relief. Suspect I don't want a third. Although, I veer wildly one moment to the next and DH definitely does want another. Ho hum. But I'm 37, would be well into 38 before it arrived, already have two perfect(ish), healthy little buggers, do I really want/need a third? All these things worry me. But there's that little part of me that really does want another.

On the names front, I don't like Reuben, because I was a uni with someone who was vile called that. But I liked it before then! I love Edward, which DD2 would have been, but nicknamed Ned, like my cousin.

Arti - I can't believe you snogged JD! That is hilarious! Did he have bad breath? Did you date? My sister knows someone who snogged Kylie and said she had awful breath. Probably due to her diet. And I know someone who went out with Rob Lowe, but refused to shag him because she thought he'd respect her more and it would turn into a long term thing. Sadly, he binned her after a couple of months and she regrets that she didn't have it off with him terribly. I love the term "have it off". Reminds me of more innocent times!

Rubes - on the nap front, I'm afraid DD2 gave hers up at about, ooh, 17 months. She very very occasionally will have one, but only if she's ill, generally. And the evenings have always been fine, despite the lack of sleep. She'll sometimes fall asleep in the car, but DD1 is more likely to than her. She has to be properly knackered.

Mum came up to look after me on Weds and stayed around yesterday and put the girls to bed. It was so lovely to see her and we had a lovely chat. I have a bit of a worry, though... She has always been a bit negative and very vocal about it, but luckily always had Dad to balance her out as he was so positive and kept her a bit in check. She's lovely, but rarely has nice things to say about people/things. She went on to DH about how she hates golf and sailing and stuff that Dad loves. And my girls call bottoms "botkins", which is a kind of family thing and nothing to do with her. She told me it was rather pathetic and perhaps we should say botty instead. I think she's probably right, but when I think of all the silly names for things we had as children, it really irks me that she says that. Petty, I know, but feels like she's slightly dictating to me, even when I'm 37. But there was so much else that made me feel sad. Sort of being rude about everyone on the telly or a bit argumentative even with the nurse checking me in, etc. I love her so much and think it's probably in reaction to Dad dying, but now he's not there, I'm worried that she's going to get even more negative and extreme and get bitter. Ho hum. What to do.

I am definitely so up for a weekend away. Happy to fly to see TinglyVag, but equally happy to go somewhere in UK and do some nice walks etc. Especially without the littles and husbands. Heavenly. And drink a lot of wine. Yummy. I don't mind sharing a room with someone. I don't snore (yet) and promise not to fart!

I am impressed by the varied menus. We always have the same, but am going to endeavour to do more exciting stuff now they're a bit older!

Big love to all.


McKayz Fri 04-Jan-13 10:26:00

Just a flying post.

Jam I know how you feel. DH leaves in 2 hours. 2 months in Qatar, bit worried about it as I have no idea what Qatar is like. Though the foreign office website says it is ok.

Absolutely dreading this weekend as the boys are with XH.

poisondwarf Fri 04-Jan-13 10:59:47

Beans brilliant news about your botkins! I didn't want to alarm you before but I was quite surprised about what your doc said about colon cancer being practically unheard of at your age. I know it's only anecdotal but my brother was diagnosed with it at 39, and a girl I used to knock around with died of it last year at 37 or 38. Doctors assuming it can't be that often leads to a very late diagnosis - with my brother it had reached an advanced stage and he was an emergency hospital admission before it was diagnosed, even though he'd been to the doc several times about his symptoms. It's good that your doc took you seriously enough to have you properly checked out. Still, internal piles doesn't exactly sound like a picnic! Is there any treatment for it? I presume anusol on a long stick is not quite going to cut it (eww!).

Sorry your mum is behaving like that - not much advice to offer other than a) people are bound to behave a bit oddly when they're grieving I suppose and b) massive generalisation but lots of people do seem to get increasingly moany as they get older. It seems like a hobby to some people. I think my mum is becoming increasingly negative and critical and it's quite wearing, especially as I'm of a negative and critical bent myself. So hard not to get sucked into it.

Lots of DHs working very hard out there! Work sucks doesn't it? Although we have gone down the less money, more family time route I do sometimes wish DP would take some of the weight off. He has got half an eye on getting a teaching assistant position at the DCs' school at some point, which would be perfect. There is already a male TA there and he thinks that being a man put him at an advantage when they were recruiting. I don't know how often positions come up or how fierce the competition is, but DP helps has been going in to give a hand in DS's class quite regularly so that should help.

Rubena Fri 04-Jan-13 11:14:36

Beans, so glad it wasn't anything too horrid. I remember I thought dd was ready to give up her nap around 18 months but I convinced myself she didn't! I def think she's ready now so am going to ride out the no nap days as I know she'll fall in line. I'm away at the weekend too grin that said dh will prob get driven mad and put her down.

JamInMyWellies Fri 04-Jan-13 11:59:01

Phew Beans, am glad its just piles. I too am like PD and the person I know got diagnosed when she was mid 30s and sadly died when she was in her early 40s so am vvvv relieved for you.

I shouldn't moan about DH especially when Kayz' DH is in another time zone for 2 months. On the Qatar thing my DF and DM were in Abu Dhabi for a few months and had colleagues in Qatar. They said it is just vvvvv boring as it's much more strict than Dubai or Abu.

Rubena Fri 04-Jan-13 12:28:31

I meant to say about your Mum, Beans, hopefully it's as you say a reaction to your Dad passing. Hopefully she will be a bit more positive in time.
PD - very true. I have noticed my parents less and less tolerant of things as they age. They can't see it I'm sure but very obvious to me as I only see them once or on occasion twice a year at most.
Kayz - I bet the 2 months will go quick and if you focus on a get fit plan while he's away it will spur you on.

McKayz Fri 04-Jan-13 12:38:50

Well he's gone and then the boys went 5 minutes later. DD is asleep. sad might play on the Xbox to pass some time.

Vagolajahooli Fri 04-Jan-13 12:57:21

I wrote a post last night but phone battery ran out before I posted it. Argh....I can't remember anything I wrote. So I will just say hello all and I have noted all your comments but can't remember what I wanted to say in response.

DH is back thank goodness as I'm quite shattered. Need more sleep.

No word on my friend sadly it's been 7 days now so not looking good, her poor mum & sisters and her two little kids. I can't imagine what they are going through. All us old school friends are reposting her photo, but there has been lots of coverage on the TV in Australia and on social media and still nothing.

PD & Beans & anyone else I'd love a little weekend in Amsterdam with you. We could waste some time together PD ;) can also come over for a little cottage action, would it he cheeky to ask for it to be over this side of England. Though I could fly to other places, or fly to London and get a lift.

Indith Fri 04-Jan-13 13:03:05

I guess the hardest part of your situation Kayz is that when he is there is is completely and utterly there for a couple of months at a time so you all get used to having him there 24/7 for playing, bedtime, meals, outings, everything. At least for the rest of us they still work when they are not away so we don't get so used to the help!

Some of you were asking about dh's job, thanks. He is going for it. He starts the new role in Feb so we will have a bit of time to see how timings work out. If they don't at all then he can quit the role without quitting his job. He intends to travel there and back every day and put in fairly short office days then work on the train and in the evening. At first it will be 5 days a week with a view to bringing it down to 3 days a week travel by the time I start my degree. Up until now he has been a floating resource so going form project to project as needed. This means you can be based anywhere so if a project that is not local wants you then they pay your travel. This is a fixed role so there is no need for them to pay travel. However, they have agreed to pay up to £X a week in travel until Dec 2013. They take the approach that after that he will have had enough of a pay rise to cover the expense or he will move. Obviously moving won't happen because of university for me. Anyway Dh is going for it because it gets him the promotion which means that if local jobs come up he will be applying as that level rather than as level below (even though he has been working at that level for some time, he just hasn't had the official promotion because things are so stagnant and they hardly promote). His ideal would be to get a job at the same level locally before they stop paying his travel. If not or if timing don't work for travel then he will quit but whereas when he was floating it was a case of just moving onto a different project it would mean going into a bit of a limbo land where he might find himself being retrained for a different area of the company.

Hey ho.

Baby needs to go to sleep. AS ever i shall attempt to write a proper post later where I talk about the rest of you instead of about me.

I ordered my first text book though! I want to buy a new wrap but I need the money for books and stuff <<polished halo>> even though there is a pretty that i really want available and not stupidly expensive.

McKayz Fri 04-Jan-13 13:12:39

Indith, I've just bought a new wrap. I blame that facebook group!!

ShadyLadyT Fri 04-Jan-13 13:35:27

'Ello ladies. Loving all the chat! Horrendously distracting though grin I have go to take the girls off to Chipping Norton to get their fringes trimmed in a bit, they are like a pair of Dulux dogs. I don't do it myself any more, it just looks too crummy.

Glad your bum's ok, Beans. What a relief! What treatment's in store? I know surgery is an option but I think that's for bad external ones and I think they have to be obscenely enormous. I am slightly pleased that Kylie has bad breath as I have always thought (in interviews etc) she comes across as really cold and not esp nice.

Jason Donovan on the other hand...I have always had a soft spot for grin Of course I remembered you'd snogged him Arti, it is illuminated in my memory bank! However, you have never given us the FULL details so honk on.

Beans, it's such early days for your Mum. I can remember secretly feeling grumpy/furious about every single person in a couple that I knew, for quite a long time. I know it's a cliche but she needs to meet some new people and do some new stuff, just to put a fresh impetus in her life. Could you gently and subtly encourage this? Otherwise, however annoying/upsetting she is being you may just have to be patient (which I am sure you are being). Also agree with others, though, about it also being a function of getting older...

I would also be gutted if I hadn't shagged Rob Lowe if I'd had the chance...

How's the snotty nose today, Rubes? So are you working this weeekend, but other than that not much for the year? Or have I got that wrong? How do you feel about working less and doing work for DH?

Talking about snotty noses - Hons, have you tried Sudafed? It works like a charm for clearing up stuffy noses - however, I have gone off it since my GP told me that using pills to dry up colds can sometimes lead to you getting a sinus infection instead. But if it's just a horrid cold, maybe go for it. Also, First Defence is good (for next time - you squirt it up your nose at the first sign of a cold and it can sometimes stop a cold from developing)

Just going to post this, lots more to say but don't want to lose this half.

ShadyLadyT Fri 04-Jan-13 13:52:28

PD - you have started me thinking about my cholesterol, maybe I will get it tested cos I am a veggie who eats way too much cheese and butter and my BMI is 24 point summat! Life of Pi - I had the book for yonks but never read it because I didn't like the idea. It seemed too silly. I have to fancy magic realism. However, the trailer looked pretty spectacular. I expect we will see The Hobbit though, DP likes all that jazz. He is practically a hobbit himself - likes beer, two breakfasts, not straying too far from home... I know your place in Spain is a sore point but it utterly fascinates me. I would love a bolthole in Spain so much - I fantasize about buying one. It's not going to happen, but I can dream! Have you just abandoned it? I do want all the details if you can bear it. Oh, and if you are still interested in reading my novel and don't mind reading things in manuscript form...would be happy to send it. If slightly trepidatious!

JJ - I was very excited as I understood what you said. Ha! Well, you've met me and so you already know I'm a hairy handed trucker. YES, I am keen for a weekend away. As long as it was not too dear. We could find one on cottages4you or cottages.co.uk or similar, I am sure. Don't really mind about location - whatever suits - however, as I will be on public transport someone would have to collect me from a nearby station!

I will check out flights to you, Vag. Just in case. I'd love to come to Amsterdam - but small obstacles of childcare whilst DP is in his big trial and finances. However - not impossible.

Indith - that is good that you have thrashed it out with your DH about how it might work re: job. Are you feeling positive about all these changes?

Kayz - again, a cliche but you need to keep yourself busy (yes, I know a teeny baby means you are busy as a matter of course!) Are there any things you can achieve over the course of the weekend that will make you feel good? It must be so hard though. How is your relationship with XH these days?

Oh blimey, better get these girls ready to go out.

ShadyLadyT Fri 04-Jan-13 13:57:59

Oh, and anyone not entitled to Child Benefit after 7 January - you can ring the Revenue before then and just get it stopped (which is what DP wants me to do hmm) - otherwise, the money for it gets added on to the other half's tax bill.

I know talking politics is a bad idea but losing my child benefit makes me absolutely fume. Partly for myself, but also on various ideological grounds. Grrr.

Vagolajahooli Fri 04-Jan-13 14:31:37

Lady easyjet flies to schipol or as you know Ryanair flies to eindhoven and there is a direct bus from there to Amsterdam. If the UK wweekend was over your way I can fly into Bristol for pretty good prices.

Hons you need hot toddys my dear.

Vagolajahooli Fri 04-Jan-13 14:32:51

Indith seeing as he's getting payed more can you get some babysitting. Some local kid to come after school?

JumpJockey Fri 04-Jan-13 15:32:34

Right, anyone who fancies a cottage away send me a PM with your email address and I'll send out a poll for dates/locations. Presumably if a few people were able to drive they could give the rest of us lifts from a nearby train station (or it would need to be within cycling distance of my house wink) . Presumably we need to avoid half term, so if this applies then let me know when yours is.

Oh and on schools - I was just looking through the results of school allocations for the one we're hoping for. Last year they got to criterion 8 (ie absolutely anyone who applied at all) at a distance of 1.5 miles. The year before, it was criterion 3 (baptised catholics without siblings) at a distance of 0.9 miles - we're about 1.5 miles away. Sigh - am hoping this year is more like 2012 than 2011! Oh and fgs they are one that does half days only to ease them in - up until half term! shock not exactly highly practical, I'll need to set aside 20 days annual leave to cover the afternoons.

Rubena Fri 04-Jan-13 16:17:58

Lady do you mean we have to call if we want to stop the payments otherwise they will make us pay it back via tax? I'm confused or perhaps just thick. I thought they just stopped all payments of those not eligible?
Beans I meant to say earlier. I understand that fear of having been fortunate to have two healthy kids. I remember at mid thirties, panicking between every scan etc. I'm kissing 40 now (well in 2 yrs) so wouldn't be able to handle that now!
I'm sure you will figure out what's right for you all.
Lady yeah I feel fine about cutting way back on work. (Well it's a bit silly saying cutting back as this weekend will be my first trip in 7 weeks smile I have to do another in Jan to stay current then hoping not to work until April) Ive wanted to contribute to the income for a long time now and now there's actually stuff I can do to help dh it will be good. Not sure how I feel about completely quitting my job as its a nice little get away here and there but mainly it's the benefits I would miss. That said if we are in a position to afford travel home etc regularly not relying on perks I'd be fine with it.
JJ I was going to ask when everyone was talking of but will pm!

Managed the farm shop. Still a bit grim with cold but a slight but better thanks Lady

Rubena Fri 04-Jan-13 16:20:56


Just as I was typing that dh sent me the news link and said we better opt out of it!!!!

Vagolajahooli Fri 04-Jan-13 16:59:47

Two small boys going cheap. In fact will pay to have them taken off my hands. Just went completely mental at them. Aside from the regulaly being screamed at by DS2 for whatever has recently annoyed him, I get absolutely sick of cooking meals they want, I just put some veg on as whether they eat it or not I think they need to know it should be there. Then the look at the entire meal and focus on the one bit they don't want and whinge about grrrrr....drives me mad!

Now on top of that we are going out tonight DH said he would be leaving work by 5 but has just texted to tell me he'll be late.

Nolda Fri 04-Jan-13 17:04:11

Thanks for that Rubes and Lady. I had no idea. Another job for the list!

Beans, glad that the camera didn't reveal something more sinister.

I've botched together a very strange cake for DH's b'day due to strange combo of oven probs, tin availability and what DD has named Londpiss selling only elmlea for the choc ganache. Hopefully will taste OK. I have explained to DD that p* is very rude but she seemed unimpressed, oh dear.

Rubena Fri 04-Jan-13 17:15:18

Vagazzle, can I throw in a small girl too? Meltdown central at 5pm as predicted as she "needs to have biscuits and chocolates please" well at least she said please.

ShadyLadyT Fri 04-Jan-13 17:22:11

Oh Vag. Food is such a pain in the bum. Arti, I was so impressed that your girls enjoyed their meal (one of my faves) - DD2 will at least try most things and has a much wider repertoire than DD1 but generally their meals are so sort of snacky. However, I suppose I should be grateful they eat fruit and veggies at all. DD1 is crunching a large raw carrot as I speak, and has asked for raw baby corn, raw mushroom, and a large slice of fruitcake for supper.

Ahh, a bus from Eindhoven? Eindhoven flights are very cheap. I know where the bus station is too. Excellent. Maybe you'll be seeing me after all smile

Yeah, Rubes - you need to ring before Sunday or they keep paying you but then you have to pay it all back through DH's tax. Such a pain. I am going to have one more stab at asking DP to let me keep it grin I don't know how anyone else's household finances work but my only income is through the rental of my flat, plus child benefit, plus the occasional spot of work (or sodding Ebaying). DP is supposed to pay for household expenses but I am always topping up here and there, so...frankly I think he should let me keep it. But I do feel terribly annoyed that two people earning £49k apiece would keep the lot. Anyway, mustn't rant. I am glad you feel good about doing more work for DH, I think that would be nice. DP finished in Guildford today, with a good result for his client to boot smile A deserving client, in this particular case.

JJ, that is a fret about your school app. If it all goes tits up can you parachute her into the independent prep? When do you get the results, people - is it April like us? Intake at DD1's number 1 choice is only 15 a year and they are just building 32 new homes in the village (putting a small school under great strain) so this year will inevitably see children in catchment not getting a place. Not good. I just hope there aren't more than 15 kids O's age already with a sibling there, as they get first dibs.

Where's Spot?

We are off to a panto on Sunday. Just kill me now. It is a very kind gift from DD1's godmother but myself and DP are also in attendance. I didn't even like them when I was a nipper. However - I think the girls will like it so I shouldn't be such a grumpo. Talking about godparents - DD1's godfather is in the Maldives hmm He went last January as well. I love him and he deserves it as he works hard, but I am so envy

ShadyLadyT Fri 04-Jan-13 17:24:14

Londpiss. Brilliant.

ShadyLadyT Fri 04-Jan-13 17:28:23

Just a quick other thing - DD1 has started talking in an American accent when she plays with her dolls. Just bizarre. She doesn't watch American stuff. I think it must come from school. Very weird though.

Also, DD2 told me yesterday that "Daddy is getting a new car". I said - "Oh, really? Has he told you this?" and she said, no word of a lie, "Daddy SHOULD get a new car." Then DD1 piped up and said, "He could get a car just like the one he's got. But shiny and new." Where IS this car awareness coming from?

Rubena Fri 04-Jan-13 18:00:34

Weird the American accent thing! No doubt from Pre school!
I've tried to get on the website but its crashed I guess everyone who needs to us trying to cancel their child benefit tonight! Lady, if you keep it, isn't that just like a loan if it has to be paid back anyway? Or us it only a portion that they get back. I must read up on it properly.

ArtigeneAuberchoke Fri 04-Jan-13 18:09:05

Lobelias is indeed rather brilliant.

JJ I will PM you. I would love a weekend away with everyone. TBH I am not 100% sure I'd make a Dutch visit at the mo due to mobey and a weird pregnancy related desire not to travel for hours, but wherever is planned I will tryand make the effort.

Jam, Rubes, Beans and Kayz you really are amazingly calm and accepting of your DHs' long hours. Jam, I can't believe anyone not travelling has to be in the office 7 long days a week, that is actually inhuman (and illegal). Does your DH's work really think they get top productivity from employees when flogging them like that? I can't imagine they do. Sometimes I thank my lucky stars that I work in the public sector, the pay may be poor and the hours can be long over short periods but overall the work/life balance is good.

ArtigeneAuberchoke Fri 04-Jan-13 18:11:17

Or Lobelias read Londpiss.

And the American accent thing is odd. DD1 does it a bit too but she watches the occasional US made film.

ShadyLadyT Fri 04-Jan-13 18:19:28

I think it definitely comes from Pre-school although there are a lot of Americans around here. The school over the road is about 10% North American. I think that's just the employment sectors in Oxfordshire (esp the Uni).

Speaking of stats, I read that 85% of people are in favour of the child benefit changes. Approximate percentage of people who wouldn't be affected? You guessed it - 85%. Sigh. Yes Rubes, if you don't cancel, every penny would be clawed back so I suppose it would be like a loan, in a way. Though I suppose you could claim it and stash it away until the time comes to pay it back.

Lobelia - now there's a name!

DeidreBarlow Fri 04-Jan-13 18:27:01

I have a new IPhone I'm trying to post from...it's scaring me! Should have stuck to my HTC it was so much simplergrin

Oh and DD and her pals always talk in some mock American accent when they play. It's hilarious

Rubena Fri 04-Jan-13 18:35:35

Deids I just downloaded the app for iPhone and I'm finding it much easier. (Can't you tell!) Especially if you flip the messages so the newest is at the top.

DeidreBarlow Fri 04-Jan-13 18:59:08

I have app now. I'm sure it will get easier as it gets more familiar!

poisondwarf Fri 04-Jan-13 19:35:22

Worra lorra chat! 127 messages on thread!

American accents - yes mine do weird American accents too when pretending to be someone else. It was particularly bad when they went through their Dora phase. Quite cute though.

LadyT hope the panto is not too pants. We went to one up north in the hols and I wasn't expecting to but I actually really enjoyed it. I wasn't keen when I was a kid either. It was in a small theatre but really professionally done and had loads of people from various talent shows who I'd never heard of, plus one Corrie star Best bit was when one of the ugly sisters grabbed DP and made him stand on a box on the stage with a feather boa while they did It's Raining Men. Well DP seemed to enjoy it anyway - I think the DCs were less impressed. I will have to post another time about the Spanish thing as I'm on my way out to see Life of Pi (woo!). The book wasn't everyone's cup of tea as I recall but I really enjoyed it. As I'm sure I'd enjoy your novel - I'd be honoured if you sent it!

jj will pm you with my details but no time right now.

And Vag have just checked out flights and I can get Stansted to Amsterdam early Sat 2 Feb returning Sunday 3 Feb for £85. Shall I? Shall I? Anyone else fancy it?

Will check back when I get back from the pictures later. I am definitely in a mood to book!

SummerLightning Fri 04-Jan-13 19:57:07

Hello what a lot of chat!
No time right now but I read on here if you don't work not to quit child benefit even if other half over the limit. Something to do with state pension depending on claiming cb if you are not working?

Might apply to you ladyt?

SummerLightning Fri 04-Jan-13 19:58:49

Oh and I would be up for a weekend meet up jj

DeidreBarlow Fri 04-Jan-13 20:17:05

We took the DC's to the panto at Christmas. I actually loved it, DD too. DS not so much but he was still pretty uncomfortable with pix scabs.

JJ I would defo be up for a cottage break. Possible a vag visit, but I also have 2 hen dos this year. However I'm still owed a few treats after DH went to Ibiza for 5 days!wink

ShadyLadyT Fri 04-Jan-13 21:22:08

Aww, The Holiday is on ITV2. It's a bit cheesy but I love the way it LOOKS...the country scenes even more the LA ones (which is unusual for me!)

Right, so I may not be going to the panto on Sun...We spotted a spot on DD2 that looks suspiciously like the pox. It's only one, but it's just too much of a coincidence. We'll see where we are in the morning....

PD, those sounds like good flights but not sure I can commit until DP settles into this trial. And PM me your email address and I will send you my novel gladly. I could do with an unvarnished opinion, I lost perspective on it long ago. Let us know if Life of Pi is good...Hats off to your DP for having to stand there through It's Raining Men grin

SL - thanks so much, I think you may be right but actually I am officially self- employed so pay NI contribs anyway myself which may protect me re: state pension but I do need to check...

Have lovely weekends, all

JamInMyWellies Fri 04-Jan-13 21:39:14

Anyone watching Celeb BB. Loving it!

DeidreBarlow Fri 04-Jan-13 21:40:46

Oh jam, thank The Lord you just said that! I'm sat here watching it and feeling very guilty. Normally hate it but am loving it so far! grin

JamInMyWellies Fri 04-Jan-13 22:12:46

Not watched it for years Dieds but no DH at home and my Essex homeboy Rylan couldnt not watch grin

poisondwarf Sat 05-Jan-13 00:41:58

Life of Pi was fabulous. A good story well told, and a visual feast to boot. Not as good as the book but they never are are they? I would definitely recommend it.

McKayz Sat 05-Jan-13 04:33:38

Nearly everyone I know that's been to the cinema recently has said the trailer for Life of Pi looks awful. I probably have uncultured friends and family grin

beans37 Sat 05-Jan-13 07:14:49

PD off to see Like of Pi asap. Mum saw it in 3D and said it was magnificent and she's quite a film snob. DH and I both loved the book, which is rare.

I loved Celeb BB. DH played Halo 4 while I watched CBB in the playroom. Heaven! DH played Halo til 2.30am. I am on early shift this morning. If he does it tonight, it's his problem and I'm not doing early shift tomorrow!

beans37 Sat 05-Jan-13 07:33:09

We don't have American accents here, but someone in their pretend games always dies or gets killed. A bit disturbing!

JumpJockey Sat 05-Jan-13 08:45:55

S doesn't do american accents so much as a weird continental drawl. Lots of her friends at nursery are bilingual so that's prob where she gets it from... ( other languages spoken are French, German, Dutch, Polish, Hindi, Russian, Greek... i feel like we're letting her down by only speaking English!).

Last I read on CB was that if you have received CB related pension benefits in the past, you still will (I guess becuase they have you on a register somewhere) - http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2013/jan/03/child-benefit-changes-what-they-mean. See the bit on state pension. If DP is already doing self assessment tax, it's probably no great faff to carry on getting Cb Nd he declares it at the end of the year. Otherwise if he's not, I'd say best to avoid having to get into all that malarkey.

Oh you girls, celebrity BB? [sigh] [snob] wink

arti was is you who said you get school results in April? I thought there was one national annoucement on May 1? we would prob put S into the indy if she doesn't get the school we want - realise we're very lucky to have this option. It's not that the other schools are in any way bad, but the practicalities would mean she'd have to do both breakfast and after school club (10 minutes bike ride in the wrong direction for work...) and that's something we'd rather avoid. My working hours are rather silly - officially 9.15 to 5.30, have shifted that to 8.45 to 5 so I can get away in time to get the girls from nursery in a reasonable time. Is means that it would be either breakfast club for S and I can leave at 5 to get them both, or move my hours back, drop her at school at the right time but then it's a real push to get them both by 6. Anyone any clever ideas? The school we like best is v close to my work so easier to organise.

Rubena Sat 05-Jan-13 12:12:01

Lady I LOVE the Holiday. Own it. Have even been to the pub in it! (Not because of the movie, but because dh always cycled through there with Kingston Wheelers) we are also looking at that area for a potential move but tis very ££££

I am watching CBB! I live Rylan! Loved him in XFactor too smile My pic to win. Or Claire!

I have full blown sinusitis. Woke up with a stinking headache. Perhaps I should have a glass of wine. I've never felt worse. Must be withdrawal grin nah. Keeping my pact but will allow myself a glass or two on eviction night! I am sad.

Last night for me was sudafed, ibuprofen, jasmine tea, CBB and Rightmove. Rock & Roll.

JamInMyWellies Sat 05-Jan-13 13:47:13

I can beat that Rubes, last night was clean the bathrooms and de mould the bedroom windows, eat a bar of chocolate, paint my toenails and CBB. What exciting lives we lead. grin

Rubena Sat 05-Jan-13 13:58:32

We're livin the dream Jam grinI may even steam my head later in an attempt to clear mucous. Rock and Roll. If that fails, Rubena won't be flying tmrw.

Vagazzle, I'm so glad your friend has been found. Have been thinking about it daily and wondering what on earth happened. Will be keeping up to get missing bits pieced together. I hope things work out for her.

Vagolajahooli Sat 05-Jan-13 14:14:05

just on quickly as I saw PDs post I have a friend coming that weekend and another friends surprise party hear in the Hague so wouldn't be able to get to Amsterdam. ssorry.

also my friend has been found hooray!

beans37 Sat 05-Jan-13 14:22:04

So glad about your friend, Vag.

Does anyone else have those times with DHs that just feels like whatever you say or do is wrong or annoys them or just isn't good enough. I am trying to keep upbeat and kind to DH, but am reaching the end of my tether. I do so much for this family and feel like I get zero appreciation. Need time off. From DH more than girls. Having been a single mother for 3 months I really feel like he needs to show me some kindness. Am going to tell him. Tired of tippy-toeing around his bloody ego and moods.

Grrrrrr. Rant over! Please let me know you have similar issues with your DHs sometimes!!!!

beans37 Sat 05-Jan-13 16:06:31

Sorry, ignore me. Suspect I am also being a mardy cow, which doesn't help!

ShadyLadyT Sat 05-Jan-13 17:27:17

Don't worry Beans, I could practically throttle DP at times. But then he would probably (sometimes) say to me what you just said about DH - "whatever I say is wrong/annoys you/isnt good enough..." To be honest, when the kids are small it inevitably chucks up a load of resentments into the mix, particularly when one party is working out of the home more than the other. I try to be more philosophical about it these days. Sometimes I do wonder whether I actually care less...But anyway, try to think of the bigger picture if you can. That usually helps me.

Vag, that is terrific news about your friend. I hope she is ok. Poor girl.

I think I am going to watch The Holiday again soon, Rubes, I only saw 10 mins of it last night. DP loves it grin That pub looks gorge. And I love Cameron Diaz's clothes in it. Watch the Sudafed if you've got sinusitis - as I said, the GP thundered at me last year that if you've got proper sinus issues rather than just a cold, Sudafed will dry the goo into a sort of germy cement and it will take five times as long to clear off. He told me that irrigating the sinuses is the best...that thing of snorting warm salty water (you sort of chuck it up your nose and basically snort it) is really horrible - but it does truly help...

JJ, it was me who's getting the school results on April 16. That's what their email said, anyhoo. How tiresome that you would have to take all those half days if S gets her first choice. And I must pm you about available dates although between Jan 13 and April 13 it is somewhat of a mystery...

I haven't watched CBB yet but I expect I will tune in at some point if it's a good year. High culture, low culture, it's all good with me. You don't know what you're missing, JJ grin And let's not forget the middlebrow. Which is precisely what I thought The Lord of the Rings films were - UNTIL DP forced me to watch them and I was gripped and thoroughly enjoyed them, ha ha. So yes, I'll be toddling off to watch The Hobbit and will now also add The Life of Pi to the list, thanks PD.

We are just watching the Tintin film. DP has fallen asleep, DD1 doesn't really like it (though she has watched all of it so far, it's nearly finished) and DD2 has gone up for her nap. Two spots so far, which may or may not be the pox, so we are waiting to see. Anyway, the film seems a bit lame.

Last night I watched an early Almodovar film. It was tops. People always rave on about French cinema, but I do love a Spanish film.

Anyway, I'm boring myself now grin

ShadyLadyT Sat 05-Jan-13 17:32:12

It sounded like I was saying The Life of Pi is middlebrow. I wasn't grin Plus, I like middlebrow. I like everything, me. Ok, there are a few BBC radio and tv comedies that make me want to pull out my eyes and ears, but hey, I appreciate the work that has gone into even THOSE.

beans37 Sat 05-Jan-13 21:50:37

You're v wise about looking at bigger picture, Lady. Will endeavour to do so. DH has also apologised for being so grumpy today. I suspect he wants sex, though! Hee hee!
Off to watch CBB. Sleep tight x

Vagolajahooli Sat 05-Jan-13 21:51:55

I have only recently read Life of pi recently. I loved it, but wasn't sure if I would like the movie. After DBs review I might give it a go.

Sorry to only drop in quickly earlier but I didn't have time to read all but wanted to respond to PD. I need to message JJ about the cottage time too.

Sitting on the couch with poor DH, he has forgotten the password on his new work laptop and is desperately trying to remember it. Considering his profession it will be very embarrassing to have to take it into work to reset.

Lady you mentioned me muscles, I'm not that buff but have definitely got more muscle tone than before so weight loss is proving a little easier. Unfortunately I've not lost enough weight to be able to actual muscles yet hmm.

Rubes sorry about the sinuses, I know it sounds grose, but I have heard the nasal toilet Lady mentioned does help.

Beans I think I'm a bit mean to DH like you describe your DH is to you. But I don't just wander off lots of weekends. Also, how would you feel about being the positivity your dad was to your mum's negativity, only when she's with you of course. Or would that be a bit tiring.

Had a nice night out last night for a friends farewell, but drank too much beer and it messed up my tummy. I think I'm not used to drinking it anymore. Then this evening had home made pizzas at a friends, her husband is a brilliant cook. But I over ate and feel really stuffed. I think it's time for a detox.

Vagolajahooli Sat 05-Jan-13 21:54:11

Oops forgot the word 'see' I'm too tubby to actually see the muscles.

Indith Sat 05-Jan-13 22:28:20

Kayz what did you buy?

I'd love an ellevill, I have a bit of interest in the kangas I put up so if that comes off I may buy one, shall see. If I get one though it will have to be fully funded from other slings. My custom will be ready soon, that was funded from selling other baby stuff but I think with that and a pretty wrap my babyhawk will have to go (don't mind much as ds2 will be too big for it soon) but also my other wrap which I am sentimental about sad That group is amazing though, I just cna't get over how much money people spend and HOW much of the buying and selling is done by the same people! Not to mention the "I paid £x so want that back plus fees and postage" so essentially every time the wrap is sold the price goes up hmm.

Beans glad the bottom cam was ok grin

Our school allocations are April too I think, can't remember the date blush. Am pretty relaxed about it this time! Choosing the first time is bloody hard though, I well remember the nerves waiting and then the appeal process with ds1. And we live in a pretty easy area! Sometimes we talk of moving, will we end up moving to Leeds or somewhere after my degree? What if dh is still working there would we go and I'd get work there? But the thought of trying to move to an area we can afford and has decent school fills me with fear. I want to stay in my pit village! <<realises she is getting worryingly like the locals>>.

Gosh a cottage is a lovely idea, I hope some of you manage it. Call me when I've graduated and have a job and some money!

No accents here apart form a fully fledged local NE one for ds1 and the start of one for dd. She does a good line in voices when she plays and tells ds1 (he of little imagination) off for not doing them. I am envy of the multilingual environments you all have, exposing them to all those accents, languages and cultures must be brilliant. No immigrant was ever stupid enough to come and work down a mine. I practically do a double take if I see anyone who isn't white in the village grin. There are a few Europeans around in villages closer to Durham, mostly university connected with a few exceptions and then in Durham you get university connected people from various parts but out here it is 99.9% white!

Hope the sinuses are clearing!

Dh has resettled ds2 for the second time already this evening <sigh> I suppose at least he is letting dh resettle him again, must look on the plus side! He and dd both still are a bit hoarse and not quite right still from that nasty cold. She is knackered and sleeping form 7pm til 8.30am or so. Monday will be a shock to the system, nursery starts at 8!

I should really go to bed. I have made epiphany brioche like my Maman used to make and I have made confit duck legs for dh's birthday next weekend which should now be cool enough to pop in a tub, cover with their own fat and stick in the fridge until they are needed. I'm drooling just thinking about it. Next weekend is going to involve some good food as ds1 has asked for seafood for his birthday dinner so we are going to get fresh squid, mussels and whatever else we can find and ignore MIL who said to just give fishfingers to her dh because he isn't keen on mussels.

JamInMyWellies Sat 05-Jan-13 22:54:41

Well that was quite frankly an odd evening. Got a babysittier drove to London met up with DH had some dinner left him there to go back to work and drove home alone. Its like dating but without the end of the evening snog or wink wink nudge nudge

Beans your DH is being a knob mine does the same sometimes. Have a glass of wine and ignore him for 5 hrs.

Vagolajahooli Sat 05-Jan-13 23:02:57

Oh about the accents DS2 a hilarious American accent. He does watch phineas & Ferb and Disney-Pixar DVDs. On accents in general both boys seem to have developed quite English accents despite living here. Apparently, DS1 speaks dutch with an English accent (I've no idea it's all dutch to me), but when he reads out loud in English he reads with a dutch accent. It sounds so funny & DH and I have to really control ourselves so we don't giggle.

Beans the boys do lots of roll play with killing involved. I blame the how to train your dragon movie. It's pretty harmless though.

Vagolajahooli Sat 05-Jan-13 23:03:52

Oh poor Jam, you didn't pull then. I'd dump this guy.

TheInvisibleHand Sun 06-Jan-13 00:19:28

Belated happy 2013 all. And best birthday wishes to all the 4 year old DCs. I'm afraid I've failed even to lurk in recent months, but I can't let this time of year go without giving a thought to you ladies.

McKayz Sun 06-Jan-13 00:58:31

Indith, I got a Vatanai Tintagel. I've been looking at them for a while so when one came up I thought I'd go for it. DH wondered why we needed another so I showed him the pictures of the stashes some people have. So my 2 aren't that bad really.

DD has a cold. Sleep is practically impossible.

Nolda Sun 06-Jan-13 09:05:13

We don't have any accents here at the mo', but DD did go through a phase of talking like Fifi the Flowertot when she was at pre-school. DS is into killing things, too much Robin Hood and Peter Pan perhaps.

Nolda Sun 06-Jan-13 09:17:26

Sorry to hear you have sinusitis, Rubes. Until last year I had no idea how ghastly it is. Good advice from Lady. Hope it shifts soon.

Indith Sun 06-Jan-13 10:35:35

Very pretty Kayz.

Ds2 is a little imp. A little teething imp. 2 nights where he was a little more settled (as in did 3 hours one evening rather than anything fabulous) now back to restless sleep and taking ages to settle. Last night at 1.30am he was crying and crying, I rubbed anbesol on his gums then he threw himself at dh and went to sleep on his chest grin. He is being such a daddy's boy at the moment, he just wants dh all the time. Sadly dh goes back to work tomorrow!

I have so much washing up to do. I started a new cleaning rota type thing last weekend. One week in and I'm already failing hmm.

Hello Invisible!

poisondwarf Sun 06-Jan-13 20:09:22

Vag thanks for letting me know about the weekend in Amsterdam. Shame about that although I have been haemorrhaging cash all weekend so it's probably just as well! Brilliant news about your friend - do you know what happened to her?

Invis hello! Do try & bob back when you get a chance - it'd be great to hear how you are.

Indith what date does your course start? Is it a 3 year one?

Indith Sun 06-Jan-13 22:09:12

Yes PD it is 3 years, we start 25th March.

My dh is such an eejit. He dropped the hot iron on the carpet and stood there doing the panic dance before picking it up so the carpet now has an iron shaped melted bit (not bothered by that, the carpet is around 600 years old and covered in stains even though I vax it regularly). He then picked up the iron and tried to use it to keep ironing his shirt. Shirt now has melted carpet bit over it. <<sigh>>

Rubena Sun 06-Jan-13 23:47:45

Lady, Yes had heard that about the sudafed. Usually only use it when in dire need ie flying when I shouldn't, which I did, but was pretty much at the tail end of it this morning and felt well enough. The steaming did me wonders! Hadn't worked in 7 weeks so thought I'd best make an appearance.

Jam we have those type of dates!
Can you or anyone else who is a gym goer let me know what membership fees they pay and for what as I'm looking into joining before this possibly amazing deal ends!

My Chicken Biriyani just arrived and if this doesn't do a final sweep of my sinuses (amongst other things!) nothing will.

Beans - I don't have those type of beefs with dh - more I kick off at him about things I later realise were completely irrational of me and then I feel bad. Usually something to do with his highly disorganised ways, and his lack of communication about stuff but to be fair he works a crap load for me and the kids, and its usually me having Pmt and I always feel terrible after.
From what you say it seems you have every right to be pissed off at times, but also it's hard to say as its often easier to write about the bad stuff and not the good, so may sound on here to us, like he's worse than he really is iyswim!
Vagazzle hope dh remembers his password soon!

Rubena Mon 07-Jan-13 00:12:30

Phone ate my other post. Was thanking beans for nap dropping tip. Things going well.

Trying to stay up late as this trip has horrendous check out time shock and plan to sleep a for long time shortly. Bliss.

Ate too much curry.

Hope dh remembered his password Vagazz

McKayz Mon 07-Jan-13 08:00:12

Urgh. DD has a cold. So she's sleeping worse than usual. As well as being all snotty and gunky. She's not eating either so wants feeding all the time.

Vagolajahooli Mon 07-Jan-13 09:24:01

Hello ladies coming to you from chaseloungeville. After 7 years of full-time motherhood I have delivered both my charges into the custody of school. Hooray! So far in the 1.5 hrs since dropping them off I have updated my Facebook, chatted to some friends on whatsapp & caught up with you lovely ladies. I am onto my second uninterrupted coffee and have had a brief emergency situation where some young hooligan let off a massive firework across the canal from us and scares 7 lives out of the cat. Poor thing was outside and literally threw herself at the back door trying to get inside.

Sorry again about those dates PD, I would so love you to come over, we would really have a relaxing weekend. I have to say spring is a bit nicer here as it starts to get warmer and could maybe zip by the tulip fields, or not as the mood takes us. I'm actually having the weekend before in Amsterdam with some girlfriends as its one of the girls leaving thing. Is going to be ladies of a certain age debauchery. Don't suppose you want to come then?

Right I have a mission of getting this house sorted out. I'm gonna need a lot of garbage bags.

Vagolajahooli Mon 07-Jan-13 09:25:23

Oh & Indith when does your degree start.

Kayz sorry about the sicky bubby. Are you still thinking of doing your history degree. Hopefully if I get into this masters course, I'm gonna need study buddies.

JamInMyWellies Mon 07-Jan-13 09:34:09

You can have me as a study buddy vag. When No.2 starts school in Sep I am going back to studying either NCT teacher or breast feeding councillor.

So relieved to have them back at school/nursery. I do love having them at home but its been a long 3 weeks. DH home tonight for a couple of nights yay!

Off to the gym in a mo. Oh and Rubes I think we pay about 80/month for both of us for gym membership then its another 20/month if we want to add the boys on too.

DeidreBarlow Mon 07-Jan-13 10:16:35

Morning ladies...apologies in advance I have a huge rant about DH coming up (beans may well sympathise)

Last night we had the mother of all arguments over my work, or as DH put it 'lack of work'. Granted I only work 15 hours a week, DH refers to me as a housewife who sits on my arse all day who needs to go out and get a proper job and earn some money! I'm fucking seething at himangry.

When we met I earned more than him,my job was better, better perks etc and I basically paid the deposit on the house by myself plus lots of other stuff that I never ever cared about - we were in a relationship and as far as I was concerned 50/50. I said from day 1 that if I had children I didn't want to work full time (no problems with those that do, it was just my personal choice). He agreed. We knew that money would not be as free flowing as it was when I worked FT but it was a sacrifice I thought we were both agreed on. I went PT after DD, and then took voluntary redundancy after DS. A decision we both agreed on, and happily spent the redundancy money!! The job I have now is okay, the hours fit perfectly with school/pre school and when DS starts full time in Sept I am going to approach my boss about more hours and if that's a no go then look for something else. DH now thinks I am lazy, work shy and using DS as an excuse not to work more. I argued that if I worked more now DS would need to come out of pre school and into a private nursery & DD would need breakfast/after school club. So any new job would also need to cover the increase in childcare to make it worthwhile. DH says "excuses excuses". I wouldn't mind doing this if a good job came along but I am not going to unsettle DS this close to starting school given how hard nursery are trying to work with him.

I do fucking everything at home. i don't mind I work less than him. DH is doing lots of overtime at the moment. He says its for holidays/house move but I should start pulling my weight he cant do it all on his own! And that is the crux of it. We cope financially but DH wants more holidays/bigger house and until I earn more that isn't possible. I feel shock & angry. I am not fucking lazy,I thought we both felt the same. He then said I'd better not end up a lazy cow like my sister (who has never worked since having children). her youngest is autistic, he has to have my sister drop/collect him from school and be there for him after school and in the holidays. He said she too was full of excuses because she cant be bothered looking for a job. I could have smacked him round the head.

Oh and he things there are 1000s of jobs out there paying decent salaries that I should just be able to walk into!! He has made me feel like shit about myself and totally undervalued everything I have ever done for our family. Last night I said our biggest problem was having the children, if he had wanted to carry on having the finer things in life we should have never had them. One problem with that is that if it wasn't for the kids I wouldn't still be married to him.

I am fuming!!!!

DeidreBarlow Mon 07-Jan-13 10:19:22

Sorry for all the swearing...its a fraction of what I said to him last night!

Vagolajahooli Mon 07-Jan-13 11:44:43

Is it possible DH feels himself that he can't earn as much as he thinks he needs to for the family. Ok that's it I've given my balanced view. Now as a bloody hard working SAHM I would like to tell him right now to go Fuck himself. Not only we mums have to sort the house, sort the kids etc day & night at home, we also need to get the little lovelies to their after School stuff. I'm sure a large amount odds weight will be lost this year getting the boys to their various school stuff. We have gymnastics for Ds1 Monday, Thursday every week and one Saturday a month. Gymnastics for DS2 on Wednesdays. Violin on Tuesdays & every second Friday. Then Chinese school every Saturday. We also need to fit swim academy for DS1 & basic swimming lessons. It's a schedule that makes DHs eyes water, I've got to do all this without a car (though I can book a carshare if I want but i try not to, to keep costs down). Now the reason I say all this is that in your DHs eyes because none of this that I do I get payed for, it is of no value and contributes to my work shyness. I would like to see him try to do this. But the bit that makes me the most annoyed is his accusation aimed at your sister. I worked with Autistic kids, frankly, your sister is amazing. What she has to deal with at home, & the stigma in society, she needs a holiday not a job.

Ok rant over, clearly I've been of no help. Right I'm off to continue sorting out this house.

Indith Mon 07-Jan-13 11:53:09

DB I could cheerfully thump your H right now. I shall try and be more constructive when i have calmed down.

Worth pointing out that it isn't just you who would pay childcare, just because you are female doesn't mean it comes from your wages. (sorry but that is something that really pisses me off, the assumption that because it is us women who return to work after mat leave it all comes form our salary).

DeidreBarlow Mon 07-Jan-13 12:09:26

Vag That's it my 'job' is 24 hours! When I'm not at work I'm picking the kids up, swim lessons, after school club, washing, ironing....it goes on. I don't get a day off, I don't mind its what I chose. I don't care who has a bigger house, nicer car, Caribbean holidays...it doesn't bother me. I'll happily work with what I've got. And if that's camping for a week then so be it. Our children will look back at memories not price tags!! DH wants more and the answer to that is me doing more 'paid' hours. I see that but if I'm working later who is going to take them to swim lessons etc? Not DH, his job is so fucking important that ALL childcare cover etc falls on me or for me to sort out.

The remark about my sister, well, I'd have gladly knocked him into next week. my sister would love a fecking job to give her a break!

Indith I hate the assumption the childcare should come from my wage - they are his kids too!!

Vagolajahooli Mon 07-Jan-13 12:18:42

And don't even get me started on what our body's go through to produce these children. They pay surrogates a decent amount (& so they should) to have kids but we do it for free.

Rubena Mon 07-Jan-13 12:23:35

Oh Deids ��
Very well said Vag, your entire post covered all my thoughts on the situation.
Sounds like an issue within himself but he's twisting it and taking it out / blaming you. It's not on.
does he ever have the kids ie for a couple of days completely on his own and do what you do every day all day? Perhaps instead of the next holiday he wants, he could take annual leave instead, and step into your shoes fir a few days and you can go on a little trip away! Visit Vag!

Vagolajahooli Mon 07-Jan-13 12:23:42

You know what tell him to draw up a business plan for this. Taking into account the costs versus the increased income & pros & cons. I'd be very interested with what he comes up with.

Speaking of camping where is everyone off to this year. You know we could have a Dec 08 camp out. Would be cheaper than a cottage.

Rubena Mon 07-Jan-13 12:24:56

That was meant to be a sad face, not all those. hmm

Vagolajahooli Mon 07-Jan-13 12:25:23

And he went to flipping Ibiza.

Hey Rubes did you end up getting a car?

Rubena Mon 07-Jan-13 12:38:11

?You've lost me vag

DeidreBarlow Mon 07-Jan-13 12:38:24

rubes No, he never has the kids on his own! 2 years ago I went on a hen do (Sat & Sun). He went to my mums for the day, where she fed them, bathed them, he then put them in the car took them home and put them in bed. I am away for one night in April...he'll do the same again. Why? Because its bloody hard work!

And yes he went to Ibiza, I thought he deserved a break after all the work he had been doing.

You know what I'm going to run up a quick spreadsheet (I like Excel!), childcare costs, what I'm earning, what I'd need to earn for it to make the slightest bit of difference at this point in time!

Thats the thing I want to work more! But once DS is settled in school!

Rubena Mon 07-Jan-13 12:45:25

Wow. Unbelievable Deids. He needs to do it himSELF! That's out of order saying all that then having his mother take over when you (rarely) are away.
Dh has the kids on the odd day (Sunday then they're in nursery / Pre school Monday) but he does the lot, then after getting them to bed will sit up and work until midnight. (he prefers his mother not to come! But she sometimes insists) he also has to drop off and pick up tomorrow then kiddy handover at the airport the following day!

Rubena Mon 07-Jan-13 12:50:44

Ah Vag do you mean when the other car went kaput back in Oct? Yes we did get the car the following month - had planned to wait until this Summer but couldn't get to all the kids stuff (that you all know us mums do) etc without it as dh works too far and can't cycle at moment.

JamInMyWellies Mon 07-Jan-13 13:03:47

Dieds I have only one thing to say. KNOBJOCKEY! angry

Rubena Mon 07-Jan-13 13:08:13

Jam. thanks for gym info. Mine is offering 18.75 / month anytime all clubs except central London. Good deal then!

McKayz Mon 07-Jan-13 13:17:15

Dieds, he is a fucking prick. Vag has pretty much cover everything. I'd go away with your Mum for a week and make him do everything.

Vagolajahooli Mon 07-Jan-13 13:33:43

Yeah that car. We are really lucky with the cycle culture here otherwise we would definitely need a car to get the kids to all their after school stuff. That gym deal is really good. I was paying €40 a month here for off peak only and had to pay a set up fee of €80.

Will await your excel spreadsheet with interest. A little while back I had the opportunity to go for a job which would have had me on 44, 000. But as DS2 was only 2 & would need full-time nursery (which is super expensive here) & Ds1 would have needed wrap around care the amount that we would actually take home from that (I know it would come out of DHs pay too but for the purposes of looking at the monetary advantages over the non monetary loses I will look at it this way) was not worth the losses of time the boys would have at home & the fact that they would not he able to do any of the after school activities that they love.

Vagolajahooli Mon 07-Jan-13 13:37:10

Does that make sense.

DeidreBarlow Mon 07-Jan-13 13:42:20

Vag You are so right!!

Have just cobbled together a few figures and I need to earn about £400 a month more just to break even due to the increase in childcare (assuming I miraculously managed to find a position over the 3 days I work now). Work more days, more childcare, then factor in the difficulty in covering school holidays, not to mention uprooting DS from his pre school which given his temper would not be a good thing for him.

The knobjockey has just phoned...he said 'are you still not speaking to me?' I said nothing and hung up! God I am such a child.

Indith Mon 07-Jan-13 14:03:06

Ok I have cooled down a little.

So his attitude must be coming form somewhere? It sort of sounds like it may have always been simmering under the surface in that he does little for the children himself and that sort of thing but still, I wonder what is making him feel that way? What about his colleagues? Do they have children? Is he perhaps a bit surrounded at work by people with more money, bigger houses, better holidays? Either because they had children but both had established careers and high incomes which they kept after children or because they just don't have children or only have one? It can be hard not to get the green eyed monster at times.

But he needs to recognise that if he wants the career, payrises and promotions then he can only do so if someone is facilitating his working and that either means paying someone to do it if you are working full time or it means having you do it.

It isn't just childcare either. With you working part time it means you can do the bulk of the housework. It means his clothes get cleaned and dried, it means his dinner is ready when he gets home late. If you went back to work full time would you also be paying a cleaner on top of a childminder or nanny? Similarly if you went back to work full time there would have to be an equal household chore split.

I'd get on with a spreadsheet but include all those other costs. Look at shopping, menu plans, slow cooker purchase if you don't have one to be able to have dinner ready when you get home. What length days would you be doing and therefore what length days would the children be doing in childcare? What time would they be getting home, eating and going to bed? (that part scares me, I reckon mine will be eating and sleeping an hour later than they currently do once I start uni). Factor in the detrimental effect that could have on family life and weekends if they are tired and crabby because they need ot catch up from the week. Draw up a simple housework rota and indicate what he would have to do. Eg my usual rota in the week has alternating hoover/dust and declutter/tidy plus of course days when bathroom or kitchen needs to be done. Typically one of us will hoover all the floors downstairs or fold the laundry while the other one does bath and bedtime with all 3 children so we can both sit down at the same time as each other in the evening. I think he needs to be presented with the whole picture. At the moment he seems to see more work=more money=better and he can't see that actually, even if there is a little more money it may be detrimental to family life to be working.

Not to make you feel like shit but jsut to back up that he is being totally unreasonable. My dh gets jealous at times, he would love to go skiing or have other nice holidays, eat out more than once a year or buy steak just because we want to rather than wait until a birthday to treat ourselves but the difference is he shakes it off because the life we have is the one we BOTH chose. I may have carried the children but he created them too. Oh and he does stuff with the children voluntarily, he has looked after then himself when I've been away (pre ds2 of course) and he will again when ds2 is weaned from the breast. On Saturday morning he took all 3 of them out tramping through the woods on an adventure just to give me some peace and quiet. No agenda, no complaining, no nagging, he just decided to go, got them in their wellies, stuck the baby in a sling and went.

DeidreBarlow Mon 07-Jan-13 14:18:24

Indith Its totally the green-eyed monster. Where he works they are very 'this is my new car', 'look at this house we're buying' 'where shall we go on holiday'. Alsolots of I bout my child x, y, and z this Christmas. Lots of women he works with work there PT and earn very good money. I think he thinks I could be earning that...not that I could do their job in a million years mind!! So good on em I say.

Re: the household chores etc. The bulk would still fall on me.

He is good with the children but he seems to think it has to be £££ on them all the time. When it doesn't!

Rubena Mon 07-Jan-13 14:35:34

It would never be worth me doing a normal job round ere. Even using 2 govt grant vouchers on 1 day with wrap around fees it's about £30 for the day. It'll be this then working from home for me. Childcare is highway robbery.
Vag how much? It came out all weird but might be just viewing on the iPhone app.

Rubena Mon 07-Jan-13 14:40:23

Good points Indith.
I'd tell him if you work full time (when the kids both at school) the housework / kids bathing etc gets split 50/50. What would his response be to that? Will be interested to hear.

Vagolajahooli Mon 07-Jan-13 16:55:29

Sorry Rubes I was in a bit of a huff. By the time we took into account childcare in all its forms (including holiday club) paying someone to take the boys to violin as that was not something I wanted them to give up. Taxes, losing my government allowance (I get €2000 for being a unpaid mum) and a cleaner we would have been left with around € 12, 000. I realise this is a lot of money, but it's not a lot to get paid to work 40 hrs a week and to end up with the boys having less time with their parents. We figured most of it would get taken up buying a car which we currently get by without and paying more for holidays as we would need to have more relaxing ones (ie not making the kids lunches every day and pay the extra to leave them at ski school over lunch and eating out every night because I would definitely not be cooking dinner on holidays)

Vagolajahooli Mon 07-Jan-13 16:58:35

Indith I know what you mean ski trips are very expensive but if you would be willing to drive to the slopes I can give you some tips on keeping costs down. Not going to the big resorts is a big reducer.

Indith Mon 07-Jan-13 17:04:20

Thanks Vag. I know places we can go though, could probably blag a few beds in a chalet owned by another branch of the French family if we really planned ahead but it is all the other bits, the warm clothing purchase or hire, the ski hire, the passes, the petrol to get there. With the exception of last year and France holidays tend to be within around 4 hours drive max!

Doesn't matter though, in a little over 3 years I should be working too so there wil be more money around and having started young our children will be grown when we are still pretty young so we are just doing things the other way round and when our peers and colleagues are still up to their eyeballs in nappies and sleepless nights we will be spending the kids inheritance grin.

Rubena Mon 07-Jan-13 18:07:08


beans37 Mon 07-Jan-13 18:28:00

Ooooh, DB, I am so with you on DH rage, although things a bit better again yesterday. But yours is being so unreasonable. On the days you work, does he help getting the kids ready in the morning? Suspect not! Anyway, all been said more eloquently than I can. Although I did silly wonder about your comment on not still being married to DH if you didn't have the kids!

And Rubes, yes, I do tend to be meaner about DH on here than perhaps he deserves and don't always talk about how smashing he can be. Plus it's easier to remember the shit stuff than the nice! Par example, DB, I still remember how horrid your DH was to you after his Mum died. In fact, bore it in mind when Dad died, so tried to be nicer to DH than I often felt like being!

Anyway, on a positive note, the girls are being totally heavenly at the moment and am actually really enjoying their company. Suspect it's because term has started so I don't have to see them all day every day, and DH back at work, so no stress on trying to keep him busy too! And dog is being nice too, so life feeling a bit more normal and on an even keel. Just wish DD2 would sleep through now!

It was 3 months yesterday that Dad died. The significance didn't really hit me til this morning, but weirdly, last night I had the biggest bawl I've had for some time. And today I told Dad everything that's going on out loud. Felt a bit of a weirdo, but really enjoyed it!!

Wow, I'm boring myself! Girls are in the bath playing various octonaut toys while I do this. Need to finish Me Before You for book club on Friday. Have read it before, but am reminding myself. A jolly good twist on chick lit. Enjoying it! My other book club is next week and despite deciding on the book at my suggestion last September, I still haven't managed to read it. The God of Small Things. So beautiful, and have read it before, but I just don't seem to have the energy for it this time round!!

Yawn, sorry!

Jam, am interested in your NCT training thing.... Is it hard to do? It's definitely something I'd be interested in doing!

KiwiPanda Mon 07-Jan-13 19:03:09

Ladies apologies for lack of catch ups but just a quick question: DD1 has several times recently (at night) suddenly got all hysterical and complained that her bottom hurts.. Judging by the way she grabs at it and wriggles its maybe an itch rather than a pain as such but can't see anything out of the ordinary.. It's more front bottom than back but not sure exactly as she's too busy wailing.. She has a tendency to total drama queen-ness with any ailment so don't think it's bad (she was absolutely fine all day at nursery) but any suggestions would be very welcome

Vagolajahooli Mon 07-Jan-13 19:03:14

Beans I love god of small things. I was going to suggest it for my bookclub but I resigned last month. The women in it were giving me the hump. They took it all a bit too seriously and if one liked and another didn't they could get quite catty with each other. Also I'm hopefully doing this course so will be a bit busy.

ShadyLadyT Mon 07-Jan-13 20:38:25

KP have you changed toiletries, bubble bath or something? Or could it possibly be worms? They do tend to irritate at night, I believe...

I think you are dealing with that anniversary in a very healthy way, Beans. I talk to DH still. In my mind.

Oh, DB..........I am so, so, SO infuriated for you. However, before we all start sticking pins in his effigy, I would just say though that his views are very commonplace, and a lot of people (not just blokes either!) just DO NOT understand what goes into being with littles at home (As well as doing all the effing householdy things). Tons of people don't! Sometimes DP thinks I have a lot more 'time' than I do though I can't complain as he is supportive of me being at home and doing whatever odd bits of freelance work I can glean - even though money is tight. I have so much to say on this topic but we are just about to have supper - but I just really wanted to add my voice to all the ladies have said above - doing what you do and working 15 hrs a week is brilliant! Once the anger has subsided I think you will simply have to blind him with the figures and stats. (Also - it's a recession - jobs are hardly growing on trees...) And remind him how EFFING lucky he is to have you! When the kids are both at school, doing more hours will be easier. Until then - he's got to suck it up. The posher holidays/house/car will have to come later on (same for us, and same for so many). Big hugs to you, hope you can batter a bit of sense into him.

More tomorrow - have been a busy bee today. DD2 is now COVERED in the cocking POX.

DeidreBarlow Mon 07-Jan-13 20:48:31

Oh lady not more pox. At least it's out of the way now, which I can say given that I am now out the other side!

Kiwi, has she been drinking plenty? DD had a phase of not drinking much at all and not wiping properly after going to the loo. She had a water infection. She never could quite articulate the pain just kept saying it was hurting and writhing about.

So DH is home. He reckons I have misunderstood him. He is hugely appreciative of what I do with the house kids etc. But he feels I could achieve more career wisehmm. He says I should think about what I want to do when DS starts school. I'm not convinced and still fuming with him which he is well aware of. I will calm down but it's hard to give a shit when I'm not sure he actually appreciates anything I do!

DeidreBarlow Mon 07-Jan-13 20:51:02

Oh and on a lighter note speaking of books my sister has passed me the Fifty Shades Trilogy. I am half way through the second. Bloody hell it's crap, I just keep reading hoping I might understand what the fuss is about. Even the sexy bits are shit. Hats off to the author though, she's made millions writing this drivel!

Indith Mon 07-Jan-13 21:35:29

Makes you wish you go in there first doesn't it DB? I have been known to read some fanfic, there was an author wrote some very good smut who went to to get a book deal, her books were smut too but unlike 50 shades were actually original rather than her fanfic with the names changed. I never was brave enough to buy one thou must try and remember the name and see if they are on kindle.

Well I guess your dh has given you an opening even if you don't believe it to be sincere. You can take a look at what you want to do when they are both in school, do the sums and then present it to him in an "I've thought about what you said, I'm glad you are concerned about what I want to do lets have a look at this together" way.

The one good thing about the pox. Once it is done it is (usually) done. Think we missed our chance to get ds2 poxed. I was semi hoping he'd have it done and dusted before the degree starts! We played with some friends last week, one had it over the holidays but the sister hadn't, now past incubation period and she still hasn't had it so nobody was contagious when we played. Not that I'd actually deliberatly expose a baby a preschooler on the other hand.

Indith Mon 07-Jan-13 21:44:26

Well what do you know, they are on Kindle.

beans37 Mon 07-Jan-13 22:09:08

KP - see on fb you are in A&E for littles. Is all ok? More than worms?

KiwiPanda Tue 08-Jan-13 00:03:33

Thanks all - yes beans she went totally hysterical after I posted last so ended up taking here there as she said it hurt when she wee-d and that's the thing they always told us to look out for when she was litter (from kidney failure when she was born). Doc reckoned it is actually thrush though! Poor mite.

KiwiPanda Tue 08-Jan-13 00:04:09

Littler.. Not litter.. Makes her sound like a kitten smile

Indith Tue 08-Jan-13 07:28:41

Glad she's ok and you now know what it is smile

DeidreBarlow Tue 08-Jan-13 08:24:18

kiwi Glad you got it sorted.

DH is going overboard on being remorseful...good! Am feeling less angry at him today. He was amused by my spreadsheetgrin. Although I actually think a little shocked at what more I need to earn to break even...he really is clueless because I have always dealt with the childcare cover. He was also a little taken aback when I suggested to him that if I did go back FT he would need to do 50% of household stuff...he hadn't factored that in!!

Indith Tue 08-Jan-13 09:45:30

grin hope it sinks in properly and he is a little more understanding and grateful of what you do in future.

Rubena Tue 08-Jan-13 11:09:35

Lady sorry you're in round 2 but at least will be out of the way confused

Deids glad to read dh is sucking up. And glad he hadn't thought about the 50/50 and has wound his neck in slightly. A MN cottage break for you for sure!
Kiwi glad you got dds front bum sorted. My dd always says it hurts when I wipe her. But I can't see redness or anything. I'm wondering if it did one time and now she's made a habit of saying ouch for the hell if it.

Vag camping might be fun but my only concern is us lot take an age to organise / coordinate meet ups, and it may rain and not be too ideal so at least if its a cottage it would be more of a sure thing. I'm sure most don't mind sharing rooms etc.

Indith don't spend the kids inheritance! Pay it forward. Sore spot with me.

Well my smugness has backfired and I came home with no sign if a sinus infection but has turned into an eye infection - EXACTLY what happened last time I was ill and went through 3 types of antibiotics before I shook it awhile back. [sigh] still have drops in fridge so (i know bad) going to use those today. Urgh. I feel so unhealthy & I'm not even drinking. Ate my way through all 3 cabins on the way home and didn't get a wink of sleep.
Had to do kiddie swap with dh at airport on arrival then stuck in traffic and completely forgot I had man coming to repair washing machine and look at oven door.
Now when you get a window of 9-1 for a repair man, when do they EVER show up at 9? Had to beg him to wait 20 min for me. Turns out dh left coins in his pocket when did laundry - guess i am pleased he did laundry though wink
I have a mountain to do now as it was broken for a week so must run.

Indith Tue 08-Jan-13 11:25:10

What about a camping barn or a youth hostel? A cheap holiday I might be able to manage! Mind you camping/barns etc are more suited to a big child and husband too type meet rather than a get tiddly and sleep uninterrupted meet.

Rubes dh and I are both too anal to spend the inheritance (if there is any.....). We will always both be savers above anything else.

Vagolajahooli Tue 08-Jan-13 13:24:08

Afternoon ladies, sorry about the more pox or in some cases the not enough pox. Oh & poor old mini panda & her itchy bits. I had terrible thrush once & it's not fun.

DB I'm amazed that he hadn't thought that his situation & responsibility would change yours did. My DH suggested he look after the kids for several days. He said one day is not enough because in one day you can get by without cleaning up much & a cheeky easy meal. Several days is a better indicator. Maybe you should come over here!

Day two of dS2 in school and again amazed at how much I can get done. I'm going to have the tidiest house in den haag soon.

Rubes I loved "wound his head in" haven't heard that for ages. DH is thinking of doing a bit of the tour de France. A friend of ours in Australia runs a tour from there over to France for the race each year. It would include Alp duez. He's a bit scaredbut I tthink it would be good for him. Is your DH interested in having a go? We could keep each other company they ride up hill.

Indith Tue 08-Jan-13 13:41:30

You can come and tidy mine if you don't have enough to do Vag.

Vagolajahooli Tue 08-Jan-13 17:59:03

You know if I came to yours no cleaning would get done Indith, we'd just drink tea & eat cake, lots of cake. Mmmmm caaaake.

Rubena Wed 09-Jan-13 08:07:21

Oooh interesting Vag. Will run it by Dh. He was mentioning he needs something to motivate him back into it.
Eye still red but possible slight improvement. Sore throat arrival this morning. I don't think there is any other condition I can get from the waist up. Roll on Spring.

beans37 Wed 09-Jan-13 11:40:40

Hello all! Off to swimming with girls shortly.
I'm not going to jump to any conclusions again, but period a day late, test is again positive. What is going on? Perhaps I have naturally high HCG levels or something. Bloody hell. And DH and I have hardly had any sex this cycle. And he withdrew at crunchpoint most times. Oh bugger. And a tentative hurrah. But still mixed feelings! Eek.

beans37 Wed 09-Jan-13 11:42:10

PS Don't all get excited after the last 3 day wonder!!!!!!

Nolda Wed 09-Jan-13 13:39:41

A very slightly excited, Hurrah, from me Beans. Fingers crossed.

Kiwi, hope yr DD is on the mend.

Lady, how are things with the pox?

It's so quiet here. DS is doing a whole day at pre-school for the first time and I've hoovered and washed floors. It does feel a bit dull here. I'm used to living in a small town and there's nothing here but houses (and Londpiss, of course). It'll be better when DH gets his car sorted and I can have mine back. Not that I'll be zooming off all the time but it's nice to know escape is available. I might have to get a job!!

McKayz Wed 09-Jan-13 14:09:35

A small but excited Hurrah here too Beans.

DeidreBarlow Wed 09-Jan-13 16:28:58

Oh beans...I hope it all works out for youwink

Rubena Wed 09-Jan-13 16:34:05

Good luck Beans!

JamInMyWellies Wed 09-Jan-13 17:14:13

Excited little squeal here. grin

Vagolajahooli Wed 09-Jan-13 17:41:29

<Whispers> woohoo beans

ArtigeneAuberchoke Wed 09-Jan-13 20:11:23

A muted cheer from over here too Beans.

Honsandrevels Wed 09-Jan-13 20:25:11

Eeek Beans, exciting.

Gee whizz I've had a bad cold. I'm still coughing like crazy but I feel a lot better. I spent 2 whole days in bed.

Lady Sorry about the pox again. Horrible for you and dd2.

Deids Wow, your DH was lucky you didn't actually explode with rage. Arrange a Saturday off for yourself immediately. Shopping, lunch, cinema and home after bedtime. I insist!

Who do we email re a weekend away? I missed the details in a fog of illness.

Indith Wed 09-Jan-13 20:26:36

Gosh Beans! I hope you are Ok with it either way smile

ShadyLadyT Wed 09-Jan-13 21:14:02

Evening dear girls! Am just on my phone with cold fingers - been out in Oxford cos a Belgian friend's over and she hasn't had the pox so couldn't cone to the house. To be honest, I'm glad of the change of scene and solo jaunt. Two on the trot - last night I was in London for the party of a paper I write for sometimes. Full of D list celebs. T list, even.

Tentative huzzahs from me, Beans! When will you test again?
Withdrawal method conceived my DD2...

Hons, you need to PM JJ. I haven't done it myself yet. Glad your cold is clearing, sounds like a shocker!

How are you feeling Rubes? It's been a real bad one for you...Are you managing ok with the folks having left?

DB - am so glad DH climbed down a bit. Do you think someone was bending his ear at work re: asking you to work more? Do you still have any thoughts of doing your PGCE? I know it's dear but it would fit in with school hols.

DD2 is swathed in the pox and we all had a bad night last night. Am hoping today or tomorrow is the peak.

Nolda - it's early doors, your new area may yet boast more enticing delights than Londpiss grin

Ooh, feel a bit travel sick. Better end.

McKayz Thu 10-Jan-13 07:26:59

Give me strength. DS2 wants to know why he has a brain in his tinkle. grin

Marking my place on new thread. So sorry been away so long, pox has totally floored us. But am back. Promise. Can't read back much, but am thinking of your high hormone levels, Beans grin.

Vagolajahooli Thu 10-Jan-13 08:34:54

Haha hilarious Kayz, well they are controlled by them.

Feeling a bit headachey here so have decided after my rousing bit of sorting of the house this week I'm going to take it easy this morning. Also a friend said something I really liked "don't glorify being 'busy'" I loved it. She didn't say it to me directly but as a saying. I feel as a sahm that I have to justify my time off and show that I am doing something. But actually everyone else gets time off and don't feel they have to justify what they do with it. I know there are loads of people out there who think that sahm with kids in school do nothing all day, but they forget that when they get home from work or on weekends they do the same (except for working mums, they never get time off). So I'm going to do the things that need doing but I'm not going to feel that I have to justify my time.

Rubes I'm sorry about your eye. If the ointment was opened within 3 month it's fine. If longer it just won't be as effective. Occasionally there is the risk of infection from opened ointments but really there is the same risk from open mascara applicators so it's worth giving it a go. You could always pop to the chemist and get something. They have some over the counter stuff that can help, but don't let it get out of hand. If it's not improving within the next day or so get to the GP.

Lady hope you had a nice night with your friend.

beans37 Thu 10-Jan-13 09:36:58

Can I give all contact lens wearers a tip, if you didn't already know? My optician told me this and I'd never heard it before. Apparently if you get swimming pool water in your eyes when you have your lenses in, you can go blind!!! Seriously. Worth having daily disposables, just for swimming. Which I now do! Terrifying.

Anyway, I like that saying too, Vag - must say, I feel no guilt about putting my feet up if I get the chance during the week. I work harder at weekends than anyone else and every afternoon when the kids are home!

Just been told by DD2's playgroup head that there's a strong possibility she won't get into the nursery at the school that DD1 is at because they only take 22 kids and they'll go for littles from the village first!!! Oh buggery bollocks. I hope that doesn't happen. She also said that if she doesn't get in, they take 30 at reception and she'll almost definitely get in because DD1 will be there (I hope!!!). But they're happy to keep her at playgroup for an extra year if she doesn't get into the nursery. Still, am a bit worried as she'll be really behind on her letters and numbers as the teaching at playgroup isn't a patch on nursery and she's so bright, I'm desperate for her to get going. Eeek. Bridge to be crossed when I come to it, mustn't get knickers in a twist.

Still pregnant today.... Will re-test at the weekend, I think. Just to make sure!

McKayz Thu 10-Jan-13 09:48:04

Beans at the boys school siblings get priority. Hopefully they do something similar there.

Rubena Thu 10-Jan-13 09:52:26

Just lost a post on the bloody computer. I will summarise

Vag don't feel guilty. I do the same. We have established how hard we all work and absolutely need a guilt free break.
Ran the tour past dh. He got so excited and was saying " yeah excellent" closely followed by a big sigh then the realisation that he won't have time to train given he will be doing a lot of 6 day weeks for several months this year due to the house situ which has again taken another twist!
My eye looks and feels a lot better but the drops have def been open longer than 3 months. Might get some new ones today. I am suppose to be taking dd swimming but do you think I should give it a miss this week? I really need to get better and meant to be working at the weekend but I have no idea if the pool is a bad idea if not? Leaning towards not going just incase.

Lady how us dd2?
Whilst looking through cupboards for medication for myself I remembered i had an unopened bottle of paediatric benedryl allergy which helps the itch and also sleep. I can post it to you if you think she's not at the worst yet? Prob should have remembered that earlier though.

Good luck beans - hope it sticks if that's what you want winkx
Wouldn't worry about the school thing if its just Pre school. At least she'll get into reception. How far us the school from your house? Is it a better one than your local then?

Vagolajahooli Thu 10-Jan-13 10:12:49

Could you wear goggles Rubes? Poor DHthat's a shame.

Beans I wouldn't worry too much, you could always do some stuff at home but they pick it up pretty quickly. They will be aware that she has come straight from playgroup not nursery so will just give her a little extra time. I didn't actually go to any school until I was 5, so started straight into the Australian equivalent of reception and I'm fine. It would be better if she got in of course but if not it's nice to know there is something for her. She will get there eventually.

ArtigeneAuberchoke Thu 10-Jan-13 10:29:43

Morning All
Beans – does the nursery not have sibling priority if it attached to the school? My DD2 got into DD1’s school nursery because she was a sibling which meant she had priority over those that lived closer.
Spot – Sorry to hear the pox have been bad. And Lady sorry to hear that DD2 has had it bad too. Is there anyone left on the thread who has yet to be hit by the pox? I am really going to make sure I vaccinate DC3.
Deids – I did not have time to properly comment about your DH’s shocking comments about you needing to work more. Like others I was aghast. I know it has all moved on now but what I would say is that I work 41 hours a week and am at home with the kids the rest of the time and throughout the long holidays. I have to say I find my life a lot easier when I am at work. For your DH to say being a SAHM is lazy or the easy option is just so wrong. I find being a SAHM very tiring and utterly relentless. There are magical moments of course but I have nothing but admiration for those who can do it and do it with patience, energy and commitment. I would love you to make your DH do everything for a whole week and then talk to him about whose days are easier.
Jolly – sorry that you have been ill for so long but good to hear that you are on the mend. And Rubes I am sorry to hear about your eye too. Although I laughed at your comment that there is no above-the-waist disease you are yet to get: mastitis, oral herpes, nits... there is so much to look forward to!
Veg - I can’t believe you have two children in full time school! What a milestone. Is there any part of you that feels sad or nostalgic or is it just a lovely? Of course you must enjoy your time of, you deserve to enjoy some “me” time before the studying starts.
JJ I am going to try and message you about holidays today. What month are we aiming for? I have been wracking my brains for cheap places to stay. I could offer my PiL’s place in Pembrokeshire, we could have it for free and there are 5 bedrooms plus two sofa beds BUT it is so far away from EVERYONE and the travel would not be cheap.
I am having holiday dilemmas. I have a real wanderlust at the moment. I loved the travels I took part in this year they reminded me how important travel is to me. I went to: France, Germany, Kosovo (those were all work), Greece, USA, Wales and Devon (those were all family holidays). I really want one last family adventure before the baby comes. February half term is the only possibility because by Easter I will be too pregnant to travel. We have very little money but I have found some cheap flights to Marrakech or the Egyptian Sinai (Dahab which is a little more off the beaten track than Sharm El Sheikh). Both those destinations would feel like a real adventure but I worry that at 27 weeks pregnant they might be unwise. First I don’t want to get an upset stomach and secondly, and more importantly, my placental scans have shown I am at high risk of pre-eclampsia again and although it did not hit until 36 weeks with DD1 I suppose there is a chance it could come earlier and do I really want to be in Northern Africa if it does? Would you guys consider those destinations while up-duffed? And if not where can we go? I have no interest in being utterly freezing so Northern Europe is out. Big package holiday destinations like the Canaries do not entice me. I suppose southern Spain might be nice, I have always wanted to see Granada, and it should be 20ish degrees, but crazily it is more expensive to get there than Egypt or Morocco. Any ideas?
And am I crazy to agree to go to Latitude festival with a 9 week old? We have gone every year with a big group of friends and we all have a brilliant time. I don’t want to miss out this year but it is very crowded and very loud and its camping and could be wet and muddy... Tickets sell fast so I have to make my decision ASAP.

beans37 Thu 10-Jan-13 10:30:33

Thanks guys, has made me feel better. Am also going to talk to the head about it to see what she thinks the options are.

DH is going to do LEJOG this summer. That's cycling Land's End to John O'Groats. I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's 2 weeks of his holiday time doing cycling and hoping we'll come and watch him at some point. If this foetus sticks, I'll be 7 months pregnant and 2 weeks on my own with the girls. Will probably go to North Wales for 2 weeks too, which will be nice. Hmmm. It's more the training than the actual thing, if you know what I mean! We'll hardly see him again. But actually, I've got really used to it and almost find it easier on my own. It's just bath and bedtime that get a bit wearing!

Rubena Thu 10-Jan-13 10:50:12

I meant to say ENT condition! Having said that, I've had (I think) Mastitis, isn't oral herpes a cold sore? - had those, and have also had nits!
We've been pox free here - also considering the vaccination, although I need to not much about and it's prob better to get the pox and ride it out. Might ring today.
Re travel, I think it really depends on individual circumstances etc and how you feel and how pregnancy treats you. You may remember I went to Spain (quite rural) with DH and ds when I was 34 weeks when DH did that Quebrantahuesos Pyrenees Sportive. We went over on the 24 hour Brittany Ferry and drove to Sabiñánigo. I was horribly seasick on the ferry, and had to drive dh to the race start at 4am then fight my way back to the hotel through about 10000 cyclists, but all was ok. That said, I was traveling with a doc I spose. He was all for it, although couldn't get on the ferry without me as I had it massively discounted through work hmm

Oh Beans, why does he pick these times to do these things? Although - see above - dh trained all through my pregnancy with dd, but it was all on him commute to and from work really as he was doing 45 mile round trip each day and then the odd 5-6 hour ride at the weekend. I also didn't have 2 other kids though - just the one thankfully!
I saw an article about the contacts in the paper!

Vag, I don't have goggles so might give it a miss. I'm guessing the other people won't want the possible contamination for them or their kids if it looks a bit gammy?

Vagolajahooli Thu 10-Jan-13 12:29:58

Give it a miss Rubes, if it looks gammy they prob wouldn't let you in.

I'll be honest Arti, I've travelled to loads of countries in Asia middle east and north Africa but the only two countries I every got dodgy belly were Morocco & Egypt. Having said that I loved Morocco. As long as you don't eat at the markets I think you would be fine. Have you considered Sardinia or Corsica?

Vagolajahooli Thu 10-Jan-13 12:30:56

Beans if your hubby does this trip I think you could definitely justify a little solo beany holiday sometime.

Rubena Thu 10-Jan-13 12:44:47

Thanks Vagazzle. An gonna give it a miss. It doesn't look too bad until I'm due eye drops then it starts getting red and glazy - no gunk or anything but I'd rather not risk infecting the others just incase - despite the fact 24 hour of treatment kills the bacteria. She can miss one plus I'm not 100% feeling anyway.
Have got a beef casserole in the slow cooker. I need to use it more as I'm fed up of trying to cook when it's witching hour.
Right gotta get ds to Pre school

JamInMyWellies Thu 10-Jan-13 13:57:15

Arti just a quick one as I meant to be playing with DS2. I went to Marrakech when pregnant with DS1. I was just under 6mths. The food there is amazing! No probs at all on that score. But if your girls are fussy not much option apart from chips for them. If you are looking for heat the weather is a little hit and miss in Feb.That is when we went and it was lovely and sunny during the day and mostly warm not shorts weather but the nights were very cold. We love it there, it is where DS1 was conceived. grin

Being shouted at must dash.

Oh and sort of fashion advice needed here about South Africa wedding in March. Ta.

Rubena Thu 10-Jan-13 14:22:04

Article I didn't read your post properly. Sorry why would you care about my trip to Spain lol. I thought you were saying much further along.
Can you speak to the doc about chances of an issue at 27 weeks? Dunno I'd probably be a little cautious given its a little bit in the history.
Jam Interested about your Marrakech post. My bro just want and said bloody brilliant but not the place to take kids. Might be due to food. Can't remember.
If you aren't bothered going a little further Dubai is hot and kid friendly!
Vag I have some new drops now grin

Rubena Thu 10-Jan-13 14:22:37

Pmsl I meant Arti!! Not article lol

ShadyLadyT Thu 10-Jan-13 17:48:36

Beans, I am a lens wearer but I wear daily disposables all the time - so are you saying these are ok for swimming in?? Or not? Can't see a blessed thing without 'em and specs are impractical for swimming. Look, it's a tad inconsiderate/selfish of your DH to use up all that holiday time on himself. I am all for people realising ambitions - in fact I sympathise with the need to do so, but blimey, it's a big ask isn't it? I think you are taking it v well! If it was me, I would bugger off somewhere sunny for the fortnight with the girls, your Mum, and the sister you get on with.

Rubes, that is such a kind offer about sending me the stuff - x - but I am hoping that either today or yesterday will have been the peak. She is just not herself - superduper clingy and tetchy. I hope the new drops see the eye infection off. I hope you are still managing to wear mascara grin

Arti - Wanderlust is basically verging on a disease with me. It's a condition I live with on a daily basis. I have an small atlas by my bed which DH bought me and I gaze at it every single night. 10 trips last year, albeit almost frighteningly cheap ones, in our most cashstrapped year ever...Now listen - I would normally say yep, go to Dahab at 27 weeks. But your history gives me pause...And a tummy upset, however mild, is practically a certainty in Egypt. Granada is amazing but there have to be cheaper ways of getting there than you have looked at (eg Ryanair flight to Malaga and then drive...) but I would be astonished if it was that warm in Feb - I went in April and it wasn't all that sunny! I know what you mean about the Canaries BUT don't write them all off because actually there are still parts of (eg) Tenerife which are charming and interesting (in the North of the island)...and I think that's your best chance of nearish sun if you don't go to Egypt. Or what about Madeira? Different vibe. I love playing the travel agent so I am going to come up with some options for you if I can find a bit of time tonight. What's the weather like in Crete in Feb? It's just about the hottest Greek island.

Bumholes, another unproductive day today. I've got to interview an actor (by email) about Sicily and yet again I have failed to finish writing my questions. Off to Mum's tomorrow night until Tues.

How's DD2 finding it, Vag?

ShadyLadyT Thu 10-Jan-13 19:04:24

I meant DS2, of course. I am such a dork.

Oh yeah Rubes, what is the latest twist on the house?

Schools etc are such a worry Beans, I know. I think our pre-school is considered pretty good but DD1 wouldn't be writing words or trying to read if I hadn't taught/encouraged her. Then again, it's not a pre-school's remit I suppose and I am grateful it's a nice environment and she likes going and has made friends. But I should make a bit more effort with both girls as they are such little sponges at this age and I haven't done anything with DD1 for yonks.

Honsandrevels Thu 10-Jan-13 20:23:52

Arti My pre-eclampsia kicked in at 28 weeks and I had almost daily monitoring and two stays in hospital before dd was born at 33 weeks. I'd be tempted to give more exotic locations a miss as you have history plus your recent scans.

I'm naturally cautious though!

ArtigeneAuberchoke Thu 10-Jan-13 20:34:21

I think you are probably right Hons. I didn't have any pre-eclampsia with DD2 and I never had a bad placental Doppler scan with her either. But this time my Doppler scans she placental artery pressure that's already off the scale. They don't seen clear whether this means there will be problems or if it's just an indicator. Do you know.

Lady, I'm sad to hear Granada might be cold. I'm not looking for real heat but I'd like to wander around outside a lot and have the occasional coffees outside cafes. We once went to Lisbon in Feb and it was perfect. Lisbons a possibility actually. We went to Crete this April and it was lovely and warm but not hot but even in April we were told we were lucky to get that weather. Any other ideas? I migh investigate Rome, I love Rome, but DD2's coeliac disease makes gluten crazy Italy challenging! Do you know whether Cyprus very package holiday filled or has it got hood exploring opportunities? Where was your favourite trip last year?

ShadyLadyT Thu 10-Jan-13 20:53:09

Actually, I think it may have been freakishly cool that April in Granada as we were expecting mid 20s. But February will be a pot luck month, in most of Southern Europe. As I have said before, I am nuts about Spain - NUTS - and flying into Malaga and then driving to Granada/Seville/Cordoba is my idea of heaven (Cordoba is a brilliant place but maybe less interesting for the girls?)...I am certain you could find a cheap place to stay. What sort of accommodation are you looking for? Or do you just want an easy hol where you find a place and stay there? Again, you could luck out in Cyprus for weather in Feb. Rome I don't think will be at all warm and it will be very hectic. DH and I once went to Malta and stayed in the capital, Valletta, which was charming. (Lots of not so nice packagey areas in other parts of the island though). Favourite trip last year...tough one. Need to think about it!

ArtigeneAuberchoke Thu 10-Jan-13 20:58:32

DH and I had our first holiday together in Seville and Cordoba. We loved them both but never made it to Granada. I havevery fond memories of DH telling me he loved me for the first time just outside that huge mosque-turned-church in Cordoba. I hadn't thought of Malta, I'll go and google that, would the hospitals be better than North Africa though???

McKayz Thu 10-Jan-13 22:23:56

DD is in her cot!! She slept in there all night last night and woke twice to be fed. I put her to bed with the boys about 7ish. I've just fed her and she went straight back in.

Long may it last.

Vagolajahooli Fri 11-Jan-13 09:17:16

Brilliant news Kayz, nice to know you are getting some sleep. How you look after those three while DH is away I do not know, your amazing.

Rubes how is the eye? I hope it settles soon and doesn't go to the other eye. What is the house thing, might you be buying the house after all?

McKayz Fri 11-Jan-13 09:40:57

She was up every 2 hours last night. So no sleep but she was in her cot.

ShadyLadyT Fri 11-Jan-13 12:33:07

Keep on with it Kayz. She will deffo get used to it and I am sure it will get better. Vag is right - three on your tod, including one very small baby, must be a lot to manage so hats off!

Rubena Fri 11-Jan-13 12:57:41

Thanks Vag n Shady. Eye looks much better though will continue the drops. It's not in the other eye but I've been putting the drops in both. It's been nicely transferred to dd though [sigh] mine was only ever red and glazy but she has the gunk and is not so keen about drops unsurprisingly.
No, shady, sadly mascara has not been applied since work (required to wear it) so should really chuck the old one I suppose.
Hey are you around 26/27th by any chance?
House thing, yes valuation was done but owner has asked they list it for a quick sale, we called owner and explained our situ and he wants to come around and chat about itshock so, not sure what that means but he has stressed he'd rather sell to us and agent has indicated he'd probably let it go to us closer to what we want to pay. Anywho, it means it might be a moneymaker again in which case we'd buy, do it up then sell in a couple if years. Agent said if we got it for what we want or slightly more we could sell it and make loads without doing anything. So, we may be back to plan A but small problem of money up front grin we are baffled as to what owner will say tho as he knows we aren't in position to do anything right now.
We should do a quick show of hands or get a list started (within this thread) of who is interested in cottage break, what dates cannot do and our locations?

Rubena Fri 11-Jan-13 13:00:35

Oh and well done Kayz! Also agree you are a trooper! How often does xdh have the boys?

McKayz Fri 11-Jan-13 13:05:57

I think I'll have to give it a miss. With still feeding DD who refuses a bottle and DH working away.

ShadyLadyT Fri 11-Jan-13 13:34:25

Ah, but it's always great to buy a new mascara! My last posh one was one your recommended, Rubes, (was it Lancome? Dior?) but I've been strictly on the Maybelline for a few months for budgetary reasons! I have always found Estee Lauder mascaras to be fab. Intriguing about house...Yes, am around 26/27! That's a pain about eye infection on DD. My two have had those, and getting the drops in is a bugger. However, swabbing with a cotton wool pad and warm salty water was tolerated.

Yes, am up for cottage break - weekend of 9th Feb less good for me but still not impossible if others could do it. Location: Oxfordshire. As I will be travlling alone, don't mind a long journey. Weekend of

There's a Eurostar sale on, seats for £29.50. I am taking the girls to Paris in early Feb (D travels free anyhoo). I am a glutton for punishment. Lille is a friendly, easy city. Paris is anything but.

ShadyLadyT Fri 11-Jan-13 14:01:19

Interesting debate about Kirstie Allsopp v the NCT. There's a thread here but I won't even bore you about what I think as I suspect you can all guess. However, I know there are plenty of people on here who have had a good NCT experience (and indeed other people I know). I do think, though, in Kirstie's blog post, the reply she quotes from the media woman at the NCT doesn't really do them any favours.

Rubena Fri 11-Jan-13 14:11:31

Add to the list if interested then copy and paste?

wine Cottage Break!! wine

Rubena Can do most weekends if have notice (4-6 weeks) as usually work weekends (when I do) but Feb not ideal. - Surrey.
LadyT Can't do Feb 9th w'end - Oxfordshire

Rubena Fri 11-Jan-13 14:13:37

Shady, it was DiorShow - love it. Might be in your neck o the woods that weekend as dh has a last review of some stuff before the big one - standby!

ShadyLadyT Fri 11-Jan-13 15:28:16

Ah cool, come over/stay, whatever suits. Slight possibility that DP will be up to his eyeballs in files but myself and the girls are around, and he can't work all the time...

By the way, not trying to incite corrosive debate about Kirstie A grin Feel free to ignore me. To be honest I haven't the will to get too hot under the collar about all the usual debates any more (I must be getting old!) - except, very broadly, the issue of SAHMs and assumptions about 'em. That bothers me. And what I basically think about that is...if you work out of the home or in it, or somewhere between, you end up anxious about your situation somewhere along the line, whatever you do grin

I love motherhood and je ne regrette rien, but I think anyone who has a kid, regardless of circumstances/choices, has to get used to chowing down on a big fat slice of GUILT PIE most days....

JamInMyWellies Fri 11-Jan-13 22:11:53


ShadyLadyT Fri 11-Jan-13 23:25:53

Oh dear, Jam! I am sitting in bed with a pile of reading matter (mags, in this case) - that normally sorts me out!

I'm at Mum's now. DD2 is asleep in the cot and DD1 is snoring next to me as we always bunk up here. Looks like I managed to kill the thread good and proper grin

beans37 Sat 12-Jan-13 06:58:21

Went to my first book club last night. Was lovely. More of a gossip than anything. Am knackered this morning. Girls up at 6.30. Why always at weekends but during the week I struggle to get them up before 7.30 ???? Sorry to everyone with perennially bad sleepers. DH due a lie in because of his long hours. My turn tomorrow!
Am out tonight, so think I might bags a snooze this afternoon.

Right. Need to let dog out for a wee. I love her now, hurray!

Beans, what book are you reading at book club?
Thinking of joining one here but a bit scared.
Billy up for two hours in the night and T up for the day at 5.30. Sob. Why does wine seem like a good idea at the time?
Can I ask those of you who have had kids who had operations under general anaesthetic how it was after? B having an op on Weds (endoscopy to see what damage reflux has done) and I'm a bit wobbly about it...

sybilfaulty Sat 12-Jan-13 12:07:26

Just types a huge post and lost it. Grrr.

Weekend : wd love to join but things looking busy next few weekends and into Feb. prob best to decide a date and approx venue and I'll swing in if I can. I am in London but can travel.

Am so fucked on work right now. I have worked past 8 two evenings this week and am just about to start readin g something for Monday. Thank god for tracey beaker! The electronic babysitter strikes again.

ArtigeneAuberchoke Sat 12-Jan-13 12:52:35

Just time for a very quick weekend-away-related-post (I'd love to have time to list the reasons I hate Kirstie Allsop even if she may have a point about NCT but I am baking all day as DH is entering his new work's Great British Bake Off next week and we are searching for the perfect recipe...)

Add to the list if interested then copy and paste?

Cottage Break!!

Rubena Can do most weekends if have notice (4-6 weeks) as usually work weekends (when I do) but Feb not ideal. - Surrey.
LadyT Can't do Feb 9th w'end - Oxfordshire
Arti Can't do any weekends up to and including 16 Feb, so if people want earlier I totally understand, after that I am free as a bird until the baby comes on 20 May - West London

ZuleikaJambiere Sat 12-Jan-13 14:19:24

Hi everyone, just marking my place and adding myself to the cottage break list ... or trying, I'm on the iPad and can't c&p. But I'm in

ZJ - not free 27 Jan, 9 Feb or 23 Feb. E Yorks.

I'm happy to travel, but would prefer to be near a station as I HATE motorway driving. Google party houses and you can find a range from v basic to fit for a queen.

DH and I both struck down with man flu, DD2 teething badly and not sleeping, DD1 absolutely chock full of beans - we're taking it in turns to do childcare and rest and not being competitive about how ill we are or how little sleep we're getting, not at all. I've been lurking, but lacking the finger energy to type

Arti are you free on Mon 4 Feb for another attempt at meeting for coffee? 11ish again, same place? I'm back down in London for another meeting

Back to the rest of you soon

poisondwarf Sat 12-Jan-13 14:29:29

Much as I love a corrosive debate, I don't know enough about Kirstie Allsopp to engage. I'm afraid she's in the category of "not for me - avoid" (as is the NCT tbh, but not for anything to do with the C-section vs natural childbirth debate). A quick Google of KA has just confirmed that as I suspected, she is very much Not for the Likes of Me.

Thanks for getting the ball rolling on the list Rubes - maybe we should be aiming for March-ish or even April? Easter hols start at the end of March (Friday 29th March = Good Friday).

Cottage Break!!

Rubena Can do most weekends if have notice (4-6 weeks) as usually work weekends (when I do) but Feb not ideal. - Surrey.
LadyT Can't do Feb 9th w'end - Oxfordshire
Arti Can't do any weekends up to and including 16 Feb, so if people want earlier I totally understand, after that I am free as a bird until the baby comes on 20 May - West London
poisondwarf weekend of 23rd Feb is out for me but happy for others to go ahead then if it suits everyone else best. Otherwise any weekend other than 1st week Easter hols (29th March-7 April).

poisondwarf Sat 12-Jan-13 14:31:09

Oops forgot location:

Cottage Break!!

Rubena Can do most weekends if have notice (4-6 weeks) as usually work weekends (when I do) but Feb not ideal. - Surrey.
LadyT Can't do Feb 9th w'end - Oxfordshire
Arti Can't do any weekends up to and including 16 Feb, so if people want earlier I totally understand, after that I am free as a bird until the baby comes on 20 May - West London
poisondwarf weekend of 23rd Feb is out for me but happy for others to go ahead then if it suits everyone else best. Otherwise any weekend other than 1st week Easter hols (29th March-7 April) - Essex
ZJ - not free 27 Jan, 9 Feb or 23 Feb. E Yorks.

Indith Sat 12-Jan-13 14:50:24

quick post in middle of birthday weekend in the indith house. in laws here and I've escaped to feed the baby somewhere quiet.

a man came to clean my oven today. it is beautiful! mil went from hmm at my paying someone to shock smile [want] and is going get hers done. he took it all apart and did all the bits I can't get to like above the element and stuff. it is very shiny. and hopefully won't set the smoke alarm off so much!

Vagolajahooli Sat 12-Jan-13 18:16:53

Indith that is a brilliant idea. I think we might get this done next time we change over tenants. I didn't even know this sort of service existed. I bet it makes the oven more efficient, I wander if they have that here.

Cat I've never had a child go under GA but have nurse countless kids having a GA, either for major surgery or for investigations. What did you want to know? I personally have a terrible phobia of GAs myself, so if the boys ever need one I'll be beside myself. But that is just my own irrational fear of all the kids off sent off to theaters I have always picked them up later all safe & well. Hasn't B gone to theaters before? Or was that cancelled?

Vagolajahooli Sat 12-Jan-13 18:17:49

Oops sorry should have been a fullstop after fear.

Vagolajahooli Sat 12-Jan-13 18:20:20

Oh & on the weekend away I'll see what you come up with & see if I can get over for it. Location isn't too much of an issue as I can fly into either London or the midlands. If I fly into London I might be able to scab a lift with someone. Could pay for petrol for my passage.

poisondwarf Sat 12-Jan-13 20:08:52

Had to post & run earlier and didn't get to finish what I was going to stay. spot no experience of anaesthetic but hope it goes well for B. I'm sure it will but I know I'd be feeling pretty wobbly in your position. Does B still suffer from the reflux or has he grown out of it now?

Vag if you fly into Stansted I should probably be able to pick you up.

McKayz Sat 12-Jan-13 21:05:07

Spot, hope all goes well with B.

DD is not sleeping tonight. She went to bed at 7 and all seemed well so I had a small bottle of cider. But then she keeps waking up sad so now I'm worrying. It's only 1.4 units, should she be ok?

Nolda Sat 12-Jan-13 21:10:27

Spot, my DD had a GA when she had a small growth removed from her tongue ( she was 5yrs at the time). She was only for a v short time but understand that you are feeling wobbly as I certainly was. She was 1st on the list and was bouncing around in Toys R Us in the afternoon. She had the day off school the day after but she was fine really, it was more because her tongue was sore than the GA. But then as I said she was only under for a v short time. The staff at the hospital were lovely and I was with DD when they put her under and they fetched me as soon as she came round. I hope all goes well for your DS.

JumpJockey Sat 12-Jan-13 21:30:28

Hello all. Firstly, Kayz The rule I remembered was that our local breastmilk bank said up to one unit a day was fine for donated milk, and that's from prem babies, plus it metabolizes out of milk the same way as the rest of your body, so by now you should be fine to feed dd, and even if you've already fed her it will be such a small amount as not to matter. Great news about getting her into her own bed!

i am crap and haven't been on for ages and have failed to organise anything re dates for break and here you all are doing it alreadye. blush so adding me:,
Rubena Can do most weekends if have notice (4-6 weeks) as usually work weekends (when I do) but Feb not ideal. - Surrey.
LadyT Can't do Feb 9th w'end - Oxfordshire
Arti Can't do any weekends up to and including 16 Feb, so if people want earlier I totally understand, after that I am free as a bird until the baby comes on 20 May - West London
poisondwarf weekend of 23rd Feb is out for me but happy for others to go ahead then if it suits everyone else best. Otherwise any weekend other than 1st week Easter hols (29th March-7 April) - Essex
ZJ - not free 27 Jan, 9 Feb or 23 Feb. E Yorks.
JJ - unfortunately either dh or I has choir every weekend until end of feb (failed to take the planned weekend off into account when signng onto the rota) but am free from weekend 9 March onwards, except 16 (but could swap), not 13/14 and 20 April. Cambridgeshire.

So from this, it's looking like March is best for most people, and somewhere midlandsly? I know some gorgeous cottages in Suffolk, would require a cople of drivers tho as not on public transport. And would probs mean sharing beds with hairy handed truckers each other. Frankly I'd be more than happy to share with a nice lady, as long as she promised not to tap me on the shoulder at 2am saying "I did a poo I need you to wipe my bottom".

Vagolajahooli Sat 12-Jan-13 21:42:56

Kayz it's fine, its a small amount of alcohol that gets through and don't forget her own stomach acid (it's quite effective now she is a bit bigger) will break down a fair bit of it the actual amount she will get is teeny tiny. Probably like you eating a rum ball.

Thanks PD I can come to somewhere easy for you to pick up from if that's the case.

Honsandrevels Sat 12-Jan-13 21:45:43

Hello everyone,

Please could someone add me to the list? I can't figure out c&p on my phone.

Hons: if we're looking post-feb, I'd rather avoid 1st weekend in March if possible, but free otherwise. Lancashire.

Spot No exp of children having GA but I've had about 5 endoscopies and they are very quick so he shouldn't be under for long. Give him something nice and cool afterwards as it irritates the throat a bit.

Thanks for the reassurance, folks. It's the first time, Vag, we cancelled the one he was due to have last year as we wanted to see if he'd grow out of it. But he still has significant reflux and is on a hefty whack of omeprazole so they want to have a gander.

Hoping we'll be ok to go, actually. B was copiously vomiting for 1.5 hours tonight, can't keep anything down. hmm Suspect it's noro, really hope it's short-lived and we don't all get it.
Seems a bit harsh- he had v severe pox, now noro, and shortly into hospital for a GA. His poor little system probably doesn't know what day it is...

TheInvisibleHand Sat 12-Jan-13 22:25:33

Spot, DS had GA twice (finger sliced in bicycle chain fiasco). It wasn't much fun watching him go under, so brace yourself for that, but actually he was fine and back to normal within about half a day. Hope the poor chap gets on a more even keel soon

beans37 Sat 12-Jan-13 23:07:17

Spot, thinking of you. Poor lamb. I don't have any experience, and am sure it won't be fun, but sure he'll be fine too. Chin up. How rancid for him to be so ill in the lead up to it too. Will hope its not NV for you.

We're away middle two weeks of March, but don't worry, not an issue.

Been out for dinner with a friend. Totally forgot about cells forming and had a glass of wine and black pudding before I remembered. My brain is the size of a nut. Shows how little I'm thinking about it! Whoops. But sure it's not a problem! Eek.

Kay's, fret not. Honestly, it's such a tiny amount that gets through. I think I BF'd DD2 after a fairly boozy wedding. No ill effects.

Am suddenly full of rage about DH doing two weeks Lands End cycle. I'll be 7.5 months pregnant and have no childcare aS it's the summer holidays. Suspect he hasn't thought about anyone but himself in this equation. Am going to insist he pays for a nanny for us for the two weeks. Or at least an au pair. Spoilt me. But will need it. And am buggered if am going to drive up north with both kids for the blissful moment of seeing him cycle by. If he wants to see the girls that much he shouldn't bloody well be going. Almost looking forward to the row brewing as I know I am righteous. Oh yes. He is a tit. Plus I just found him and his two mates scoffing their way through the girls' treat drawer. Am seething.

beans37 Sat 12-Jan-13 23:08:27

Sorry. Am alright really, but the more I think about his two weeks of holiday being used to not see us and just in the time when I get most stressed, I want to cry.

ArtigeneAuberchoke Sat 12-Jan-13 23:16:33

Oh Beans, to be honest I would think my DH an absolute cock if he suggested that two weeks of his annual leave be spent on a holiday without us. If that holiday also involved training in the weekends beforehand I would hardly have words to describe my feelings. If it all coincided with me being heavily pregnant with a baby he had lobbied for I would just plain kill him. You are righteous and I would very calmly point out just how self centered he is being. If you got a nanny it would not be because you were spoiled it would be because he was failing in his duties and you have basic needs.

Spot, sorry not to be able to offer any GA advice but I am very sorry to hear about the noro. Your lovely little family is not lucky healthwise. Thinking of you.

Lovely to see you Invis. How is everything over your way?

beans37 Sat 12-Jan-13 23:50:42

Thanks Arti. Am so bad at expressing myself to him without screaming and shouting, I think I might have to write it all down and ask him to go away and think about it. Resentment building up and am unable to sleep. Think I am far too long suffering. Funnily enough, the person he is doing it with doesn't have kids. Might suggest he asks one of his friends who does have children and see what they'd say!

Rubena Sun 13-Jan-13 05:48:26

Beans I have to agree with Arti. He isn't exactly incorporating training with a commute to work, and the 2 week thing I didn't think about, as when dh did a race when I was preggo it was half a day thing. smile you are a saint with what you tolerate considering what I bollock dh for! blush

Why oh why do I think chicken wings in middle of the UK night are a good idea?
Please don't let it heavy snow before I get back Monday morn. Then, let it snow! grin Will catch up then! x

JumpJockey Sun 13-Jan-13 07:07:36

Beans I have to agree that taking lots of leave without the family is pretty selfish, esp given that you'll be v pg - dh did his trip last summer but that was kind of a once in a lifetime before his dad dies sort of thing, and he felt pretty gulity about it. (complicated story!) He should definitely provide at least a nanny, and then you get a week or two away with the new baby to have some time off the full-on family duty.

Spot, sending you all some extra strength vibes, you really have been through the wringer on the health front.

We must sort this weekend, ladies. Last night it all got a bit much as the girls are both being so demanding - it's always "mummy do it, not daddy" even on the weekend when he actually is about for bedtime (most nights in the week he's not back in time) and then whichever one I'm talking to, the other one is shouting and trying to get my attention. Realised that I've not had a single night away from parent duty since S was born, and DH and I haven't had a "just us" night in that whole time either. Oh for a bloody grandparent who would actually do something! My dad says "i'll look after them for a couple of hours, but I don't change nappies". Erm, ok then...So the one time we did get out together to go to a concert he came across for the girls'tea time but then we had to pay a babysitter anyway! Grrrargh.

beans37 Sun 13-Jan-13 08:19:40

Thrashed it out last night. He couldn't believe I thought he was selfish. Upshot: we're getting an au pair early July and I get a week away without him and the girls in May. He still seems to think I'll be coming up to watch halfway through. I won't, but will save that nugget for nearer the time.

JJ where do you live? (ish). Just wondering if I can come and help out? Or could you just splash out on a sitter?


JamInMyWellies Sun 13-Jan-13 08:55:39

Beans blimey you are being very patient with your DH. Mine does lots of training and does have weekends away without us sometimes. But 2 wks! No way. He really needs to take along hard think about things. Just so not fair on you and the girls.

JJ hire a sitter. DH and I suck it up and swallow the cost of a sitter so that we can have that time together. In fact the wk before Christmas. DH and I got a sitter to come over mid afternoon and buggered off to London to shop and have dinner together. It was fantastic it felt like we were a proper couple doing normal coupley things.

I would love to do a wkend away but I wouldn't be able to do it until later in the yr. I have a wkend away with other friends beginning of March and then we are off to SA for a friends wedding. Plus DH is working nearly every wkend up until then.

McKayz Sun 13-Jan-13 08:59:43

Beans, I'm glad you've sorted something out. I'd be very very unhappy if it was me. Next year maybe it wouldn't be quite so bad but not while you are going to be heavily pregnant.

How do you get a baby to self settle? I've got pretty much no idea what to do as DD will only go to sleep if I feed her to sleep. I really need to try and get her out of this. Even if it is very easy.

JumpJockey Sun 13-Jan-13 09:02:22

Beans v glad you talked it over - the amazing thing is that he still doesn't think it's selfish. There's different kinds of things that take you away from the family - it's ok if it's for the good of the family (eg work commitments) or other family reasons (poorly relatives) or just about if you're doing volunteering (as that helps other people, but not the family unit). Anything else (holidays, hen weekends, sports events..) are basically selfish, and as long as everyone acknowledges that and there's an even balance, it's ok. If he doesn't see that, it's just not on.

Jam, we do try and get sitters, it's just so bloody expensive - the concert night we ended up paying £50 to the sitter for a 2 hour concert as it was in London. We tried to do a babysitting circle, but it's vry hard to sign up to covering for other people as DH can't say what time he'll be home, so I can't promise to be at someone's house at 7pm as he probably won'tbe back.

Boo hoo, eh! Am being v negative about the whole parenthood thing at the moment, just want a break!

JamInMyWellies Sun 13-Jan-13 09:28:05

JJ invest in some teenagers. Ask your neighbours who they use. 50 is alot for 2 hrs shock Or try sitters I think Beans and Rubes have used them

SummerLightning Sun 13-Jan-13 09:31:04

Oh my god. I just tried to prove your point beans

Me to dh: if I wanted to go on 2 week biking holiday what would you say?
Him: ok. When and where?

Right where shall I go? (suspect he hasnt really thought this through) If he asked me I'd tell him to jog on!

Hey going back to beginning of thread (have it flipped and can see the start on my phone) reminds me I never got my secret Santa... So if you posted it I am not being rude but it hasn't arrived...
Spot I hope the op goes well

Meet up I am up for it but we have stuff on most feb weekends and march we have 2 weekends taken up by snowboarding. So will fit in if I can.

Jj I will totally babysit for you. I know you did ask one time before when I was stuck camping in the middle of a field!! I am reliable honest if we sort a date I will put it my diary!

Indith Sun 13-Jan-13 10:18:14

Beans that is tough. Glad you have sorted something out.

I kind of understand both sides really. I think he probably underestimates how tired you will be at that stage of pregnancy. and of course the thing about taking leave which means there is less to take as a family, you getting time out too and so on is all very, very valid. Heck I'm a bit cross with dh because he wants to go down to London for tideway again. Lets just say that this time I will not be quietly but sadly not going on my friend's hen do as I have done in the past but I will be asking dh for the money! Ds2 had better be happy enough to go without boob for a night by July!

But ultimately the desire to do these challanges doesn't go away does it? Don't we all have things we would love to do? And why should be give them all up? I think it is OK to do them so long as you are considerate of the other partner and you make sure that both of you have the chance to follow your dreams. It is just harder for most of us mums at the moment because we are so often carrying or feeding children and more constrained. Hopefully in a few years time it will be us leaving the dads at home for a week or so and doing something for ourselves.

Before children I did the coast to coast, it was wonderful. We carried all our kit on our backs and camped along the way so it was tough, no sherpa van or hotels for us! I would LOVE, LOVE to work my way round more long walks in the UK and I'd sell my kidneys to do the camino de santiago de compostella. One day.

If you spot StealthPolarBear around the wider boards (I think she is SPBindisguise at the moment) then ask her about it or send her a PM, she is lovely and I know her well because we live about 30 seconds walk from each other and our boys are friends. Her dh wanted to do coast to coast and was planning it for just after their ds1 was born. I mean just after. He didn't thankfully but did it a few months ago so a 2 week trip leaving her with the children.

ArtigeneAuberchoke Sun 13-Jan-13 11:45:54

I'm glad you had a good talk Beans. I think my biggest issue would be with the amount of leave being taken up. My favourite times are when we hang out as a family, either at home or on holiday, i would be sad that more than a third of his leave would be taken up with time away from the family. If you go away for a week too, and he has to take leave to care for the girls, then that will be even less time to spend altogether. Then the weekend training on top of that. I would just miss the family time so much.

beans37 Sun 13-Jan-13 12:12:17

Indith, I think you've hit the nail on the head on why I am patient with DH on it. He has always wanted to do it, and I do think he should be able to and, on his side, we didn't know I was up the duff when he organised it. And it's only 2 weeks out of our lives. I'll miss him, but we'll survive... We always do! But it has made me realise that he needs to know that i need his help more. I feel like part of my job as a SAHM is to facilitate his life as he is supporting us, but sometimes I think I don't complain as much as I should, because he seems to think what I do is really easy.
I'm not whining about it because I chose it and I do love it, but he seems to think I do nothing! I think I make it look easier than it is, whilst paddling madly under water IYSWIM?!! Same story for everyone, I think.
That's why I'd like him to take a week off work to spend with the girls and do it all himself. Then he could see how busy I actually am! And I get a week of snoozing and sunning myself with my friend who lives in France. Heaven!

Sorry, right enough. I am over my strop for now.

Also, the honest truth is that sometimes its easier without DH trying to make us do all sorts of 'fun' activities, which are hideous for the children and therefore for me as I try to sort them out!! And if I have an au pair to help out, then life won't be so exhausting!!

Jump, definitely try sitters, they're great!

Indith Sun 13-Jan-13 12:27:58

Yes I think it easy for them to not see how much we do at home because of course they simply don't get the length of time at home without us. Even a week while hard isn't the same as they can get away with a lot of the little things not being done so they don't see how relentless it is.

I have had little bits and bobs away since children. I went to the Isle of Man when I was pg with dd and then I went to see a friend in Spain just before dd turned 2.

It is about striking a balance and making sure everyone gets time to do their own things. Sometimes that is very difficult in terms ot family time and in terms of finances. Sometimes you can't afford to each have a trip on your own in the same year but that's jsut how it is, you have to make sure that it isn't always the same person who gets the time alone.

I think weekends are the worst. By the time dh has rowed on a Saturday and then taken ds1 to rugby on a sunday if I did something there would be no time for the family. So I don't and I simmer with resentment and occasionally explode. Very mature of me I know hmm.

I think you've found a good solution. But make sure you get time for you even if you can't have a week alone right now make sure HE organises activities and takes the dcs out for a morning or a day while you stay home or sort yourself out ot meet a friend for brunch and leave him to entertain them.

JumpJockey Sun 13-Jan-13 12:43:45

We are signed up with sitters! The last two times I've tried, they've said they can't fill the booking, but they only tell you 24 hours beforehand which is nowhere near useful as if you're relying on them, it means having to cancel your engagement at the last minute. They've admitted that they're short of sitters in our part of the country so am thinking of quitting, it's just a subscription for no real benefit most of the time.

The concert admittedly it was 2 hours of concert but 1.5 hours each way on the train plus faffing time, so not fair to say it was just 2 hours for £50 blush but it does add up for one night out in a blue moon. Plus, since we're in minor league moaning about dh's mode, it really pissed me off when he said "do we have a babysitter sorted?" as in I haven't done anything, I assume you have... Not even "have you sorted the babysitter" which would imply that he appreciated that I'd done it, more than somehow this magical Mary Poppins would come out of nowhere!

Beans, your sentence that it's your job to facilitate his life, not sure about that - he supports you financially, but that doesn't mean that it's his right to do whatever he likes! You stay at home to facilitate his going out to work, so that he doesn't have to stay home and look after the girls, but once it's outside the "working day" everything should be equal.

Indith, you are so wise!

McKayz, the self settling thing is such an epic... I fed to sleep for both of them until over 1, then we tried the no cry sleep solution, fortunately I think E did better as she had S there in the room with her.

Rubena Sun 13-Jan-13 12:46:43

Beans I had meant to ask you that earlier. Having it planned before the baby news is a bit different, and its something he's always wanted to do as well.
I also agree with Arti that it's a big chunk of solo annual leave time. How much leave does he get and would he be able to lock in and commit to you and the girls and plan a family holiday as well so you have that that to look forward to?

JJ you def need some dates with dh. We don't rely on family (unless have to) for baby sitting anymore, and sitters.co have changed our lives! The girls are getting older - you should use them. We pay £6.50 / hour and are in the most expensive band. You can book as little as 3 hrs. The sitters have been fab, and my two love them! Going away for dh to attend some course shortly and going to get a local one at the hotel so we can have a meal out. I can't remember if you are planning any more kids? you should claim a bit of adult time back! We can see the light!wine

Well I ruined my alcohol drought with the tempting $3 wines for the airlines last night. Just shows what not drinking does. Managed 2 glasses and a sip of of a 3rd and that was me off to bed! #lightweight! Right, some sushi, and a teeny look at the shops then home. Major parenting duty for the next 3 weeks - dh starting to panic about looming exam sad

SummerLightning Sun 13-Jan-13 12:48:15

Yeah I agree with arti it's the time away from family that would be my main issue. If you can afford to dh to take extra parental leave or he gets loads of holiday wouldn't be such an issue. Though the 7.5 mo pregnant would also be an issue obviously!

I know so many guys who take ages out of family life to do sports training. And yet I am considered a freak for how much exercise i do which is wayyy less than these guys. Yay for equality. Not (not whinging about dh he wouldn't mind if i did even more but it doesn't fit in)

Not looking forward to school for ds next year. How do you who are both working deal with hols when they are in school?

Rubena Sun 13-Jan-13 12:50:33

Crossed JJ oh wow haven't ever had them cancel a sitter at all (yet) - i see your dilemma! Can't believe they are short of sitters near you. That's not ideal.
beans you said that?? Noooooo I need to read back!

SummerLightning Sun 13-Jan-13 12:53:11

That's strange about sitters jj. We have rarely had any problem except when we tried one Saturday on the day. We ALWAYS get a lady called felicity who lives just round the corner. We also get her to put them to bed as ours refuse to sleep til 8pm these days

Anyway I will message you about me babysitting.

SummerLightning Sun 13-Jan-13 12:54:17

I thought sitters message you soon after you book to say who you have?

SummerLightning Sun 13-Jan-13 12:55:38

Dh always does it in our house so I don't remember.

JamInMyWellies Sun 13-Jan-13 12:58:08

Yay! DH project testing has gone well and no snow means he is coming home. We are going to drive to Westfield meet him there have tea and come home. Hurrah Hurrah Hurrah. grin

Rubena Sun 13-Jan-13 13:09:43

Yeah I book online (the iPhone app good!) and they book my preferred one if she's avail. Had a preferred for ages and they always booked her until I needed one in Dec around Christmas time so they sent another who we liked even better so she has gone to the top of preferred list. They usually confirm within a few hours. I've even changed the times on them last minute. Perhaps you just got unlucky JJ and maybe give them one last try?

Yay brilliant news Jam! No heavy snow good for me too! Really want to land on time, then happy for snow!

Strike a light, I'm done in. B was up vomming literally all night. COuldn't keep anything, even water down, and then couldn't sleep cos he was so thirsty. Plenty out the other end too. He's just eaten a single dry cheerio and not vommed since 4am so hoping it's all out of his system. Not sure what it means for going to the hossie on Weds though - anyone know how long you need to be shot of D&V before you can have an op?

BEans I think you've had a lot of good advice (and also handled your conversation really well as you've managed to get some help sorted). I find all this sort of thing really hard, and I end up being fastidious about "fairness" and splitting everything down the middle. I think I go too far, it's often according to the hour that I am demanding extra time. (I blame being brought up where everything was exactly equally shared between my sister and me. I know my mum had our best interests at hear but it has given me a residual feeling of entitlement to exactly my share, even when the situation isn't quite so simple).

I know it's different circs as we are sharing childcare so easier to be equal, but I also am coming to realise that sometimes swing one way and as long as they're eventually made up in some way, you can feel ok about things without being aggrieved. (Incidentally, I am not referring to your sitch in this way, I would have gone ballistic had DP suggested this).

I agree with Indith's advice about going for dreams though, and think that sometimes we need to be clearer about what ours are, and then going about making them happen, even if it temporarily inconveniences our other halves.

I would love to do cottage thing but can't justify it while we have no jobs to speak of, so will have to say no on this occasion sad. In brighter news though, DP has a job interview. It's very competitive and quite poss he won't get it, but I think just being offered the interview will make his feel a bit more positive...

Hooray for no snow, Jam!

DeidreBarlow Sun 13-Jan-13 16:41:03

Oh spot, poor B and poor you! No idea how this would affect his GA... Can you call them and get some advice?

We are very lucky that my parents love having the kids and often have them sleep over. Except for the nx month as they are off to Goa!

Re weekend away, DH works every other weekend so I will see what you come up with and hopefully can make it.

Beans, all the ladies have already said many a wise word on this but 2 weeks is a huge chunk of leave to go off and do your own thing. Expecting you to drag a couple if littlies around at 7.5 months is utterly ridiculous! DH would have given it the same lack if thought if it was us. Also i think your DH gets to do so much because you stay at home not in spite of you being at home Iyswim? I obv have my own issues with my DH at the mo but I really feel for you. I'd also be mad that given how hard he works he'd rather spend precious holidays away from you and the girls. A bit of me time is all well and good but I'd be thinking more 4/5 days rather than 2 weeks!

DeidreBarlow Sun 13-Jan-13 16:42:35

And jam hooray for no snow. We have some ropey sleet that isn't sticking. The children are disappointed I am relieved given the school run in the morning

SummerLightning Sun 13-Jan-13 17:18:03

Hooray jam for no snow!! May be snow here tomorrow better get the mountain bike ready for getting in.

Oh yeah on the Kirsty a debate I thought she made a bit of a tit of herself with it on twitter ranting and making little sense and retweeting strangers negative experiences. Nct does seem to have an image problem but I have always had good experiences of them and know some lovely people involved with them none of whom seem to give a shit how you gave birth

Hey on the number 3 debate. Exciting news in our household.

Dh has had the snip! Eek

SummerLightning Sun 13-Jan-13 17:18:57

Oh boy this has made mr realise I have not offered beans muted
Congratulations!!! Sorry sieve brain.

Vagolajahooli Sun 13-Jan-13 20:34:26

Spot you need to contact your dr or GP about the Noro. A lot of hospitals have had to close whole wards because of it and are asking visitors who suspect they have it not to come in. I'd say they will postpone. The otgwr probkem is sometimes messing around with the gastric system can slow things down and you really don't want that happening with Noro going on.

Beans its all been said I agree whole heartedly.

Rubes I dont understand the chicken wings statement?

On the Kirsty NCT thing I didn't look cos I'm too scared (I suspect that is also why Lady posed the question to us, knew we'd be interested enough to give our opinion without biting her head orf). Was going to say that my experience with NCT was very different the teacher spent most first day getting us to do a role play of a cesarean, it was to give us an idea of how many people need to be present for so if it happened we wouldnt be overwhelmed and on 'natural birthing' she went through pain relieft and positions and a little on the stages. Really I think they could have done more on natural birth for us, I felt very under prepared. Luckily I had my l lovely birthcenter midwives. But to be fair the first day of our NCT course was 7/7 in London and the course got held up because the tutor couldn't get to us until lunchtime. I did purchase some very lovely friends from them though some who I'm still very close to and have holidayed with.

beans37 Sun 13-Jan-13 22:03:51

On NCT debate, I don't really get very bothered about these things as I just think people will do what's best for them, but then I'm quite naive about things like that and was v lucky with my births. Please god I am this time too. I'm too thumb in bum for my own good really.

Has anyone heard from Trace in real life at all? I know she's left us, but am hoping someone may have heard from her and tell us how she is?

And all quiet from thwarting lovely Sybs and from KP too. You ok girls?

I'm in bed.

Oh and I don't want Rylan to win CBB any more. Like Ryan and Razor. What happened to Sam?

beans37 Sun 13-Jan-13 22:05:12

Oh and I bought some lovely friends through nct too. In fact one of my best mates is through it for DD1! X

Vagolajahooli Sun 13-Jan-13 22:30:11

Beans do you feel duffed up? Are you going to do anymore wee tests? You know that alkeehol won't hurt at this stage, your feeding the teeny tiny cell division with a bit of blood and some yolksac thingy aren't you?

McKayz Sun 13-Jan-13 23:16:49

DD has woken up every 20 minutes since 9. I want to get some sleep but I need her to learn to sleep in the cot. She falls asleep when I pick her up so I know there's nothing wrong. I'm feeling really annoyed at DH's stupid job which means I have to do all of this on my own.

Rubena Mon 14-Jan-13 00:00:34

Oh Kayz hope she nods off soon do you get rest. Things will seem much better then.
Congrats summer! I must admit to quietly stressing even over taking the pill a few hours late!
Vag, I just meant I wasn't hi get so why did I feel like having buffalo wings just because I had a glass if wine! I don't really like this things but they seemed to look good. It was late here and middle of night UK time that's all.

Must go before I'm late....

Rubena Mon 14-Jan-13 00:03:27

Ps I like Rylan Beans! But I've got 2 episodes to catch up on so I'm guessing I missed something that must have made him look like a tit?!

Rubena Mon 14-Jan-13 00:04:14

Vag I meant i "wasn't hungry" not hi lol.

McKayz Mon 14-Jan-13 07:49:56

I cracked at 1am and put her in bed with me. It undoes everything I did last week but I was exhausted. Will have to keep trying.

beans37 Mon 14-Jan-13 08:19:48

Oh Kayz, lack of sleep is a killer. I don't blame you! Was she quiet then?

Vag,no I don't feel duffed at all! But then am only just preggy. I mean, must be literally 4 weeks or something! Am not racing to make midwife appointment; will wait a few weeks or so and do it then if its still there!

Had massive weep yesterday that if I do hang onto this one, my Dad will never meet him/her. Really sad. But middle name John if it's a boy!!

DeidreBarlow Mon 14-Jan-13 09:35:02

Oh beans lovelysad. John is a wonderful name, it was my Grandad's too smile

kayz She sounds like DS used to be. I had to let him just scream it out in the end, although he was older than your DD. Lack of sleep is horrid.

I have lost my way with Celeb BB, missed a few and the big arguments! Typical.

Well I have finished the Fifty Shades trilogy. Oh my word it was shit. Beyond shit infact. Each book got progressively worse. Although I am more concerned about the number of my 'friends' on FB that have gone on and on about how bloody amazing it is and how wonderful Mr Grey ishmm. I don't get itconfused

McKayz Mon 14-Jan-13 09:44:53

Beans, yup she went straight to sleep and slept all night.
It must be hard thinking like that. sad John is a lovely name.

I've lost 4lb in the last week. I'm just counting calories as I'd find it too hard losing carbs. Saying that though I've had no rice when usually I have it a few times a week.

McKayz Mon 14-Jan-13 09:56:30

A quick question for regular flyers with children. We are thinking of me going to Singapore again later this year with DH. We need to save a bit for flights but we have more time if we start saving now. We will probably take DD.

I'm just having a little look at flights and she will be too big for a bassinet as she'll be about 17 months old. But it says she can sit on my lap or have her own seat. Which will be better?

DH will probably be on a different flight as his work sort them out.

JamInMyWellies Mon 14-Jan-13 10:46:53

Kayz you will pay full fare for her to have her own seat. So pricey. But if you can handle a 17month sitting on your knee for 10 hrs you will be ok. I would say at 17 months you wont be doing much sitting as she will be walking up and down the aisles. grin

McKayz Mon 14-Jan-13 11:01:15

I am tempted to see if my Mum will have her as she'll be having the boys. We never had a honeymoon, just a weekend at PILs. I am worried about breastfeeding but I might have stopped by then anyway.

Rubena Mon 14-Jan-13 11:36:43

Kayz Yea shes def too old for the cradle / bassinet - unless she's really short and under 11 kg. Babies are free on your lap under 2 yrs and there may be empty seats in which case you wouldn't want to have paid for one.
Nice idea beans with your dads name
Right. Lil nap for me.

McKayz Mon 14-Jan-13 14:31:24

Headteacher has just rung. DS1 has been very very naughty and flooded the toilets. I am going to kill him. sad

McKayz Mon 14-Jan-13 16:16:34

I decided against killing him after talking to his teacher. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was another boy and DS1 and another boy just happened to be in the toilet at the same time.

They still want to do a home school book so they can see how he behaves at home.

DeidreBarlow Mon 14-Jan-13 16:35:45

Oh dear Kayz, glad the teacher knew what had happened. Why the home school book thing though? Actually I think DS per school were supposed to be doing something similar that has never materialised!

McKayz Mon 14-Jan-13 16:55:15

I think it is because I spoke to his teacher this morning to see how he is at school as he isn't behaving at home.

DeidreBarlow Mon 14-Jan-13 16:59:41

Ahh I see! He could be sad that DH has gone away again. It's got to be upsetting for them knowing they won't see him for a number if weeks. And I'm no expert but I reckon in small people they react by acting up.

McKayz Mon 14-Jan-13 17:03:09

Yeah probably. In nursery and reception they noticed a pattern of him playing up more when he had just gone and when he just got back too.

But so far it hasn't appeared in Year 1.

I wondered if maybe some of it is because of the xmas holidays and he needs to get back into the swing of school.