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Still brooking no argument whatsoever that these babies are happy, healthy and awesome for 2013 too.(1000 Posts)
eh. attempt at new thread. yo.
did a big post but pet beat me to it for number 1000!
Thanks Jaggy. Have you and your boys had a good Christmas?
yes thanks, it was lovely to see DS1's wee face, but we're all just a bit exhausted with this cold bug. i seem to have got off fairly lightly so far but DH
has man flu is feeling rough. touch wood the boys seem to be on the mend, but still coughing and only just eating again. DS2 has been feeding sooo much, i had him balanced on my knee during my starter yesterday!
DS1 is working his way through the presents and seems to be enjoying it. Christmas mk 2 tomorrow when in-laws arrive with more presents!
we are doing dinner and i chose this moment to bake my first ever cheesecake. it is in the fridge but I'm panicking that i took it out too early and it's too wobbly. there could be an early morning dash to the shops!
Ooo good luck with the cheesecake Jaggy! DH used to make baked ones all the time, and often panicked over having taken them out of the oven too early. His always seemed to crack... fingers crossed yours is perfect :-)
Congratulations Stacks! Hope you're recovering well from the CS, and hope you get home tomorrow. Enjoy your lovely newborn snuggles :-)
Thanks for the well wishes re the cold. Iz seems to be getting slightly better, but I'm getting worse and fluey. Off to bed soon. Have baby Vicks type stuff for her. DH went to Norse earlier where he was told Karvol had been recalled at the moment, so wasn't on sale?!
We had Christmas mk 2 today. Iz got lots of new clothes, and another walker
even though we told step MIL that MIL was getting one. Christmas no. 3 at the weekend, but until then I can rest up, eat lots.. and maybe brave the sales as we need to return a couple of things.
We also appear to have way too much food. Party round ours, anyone?
have peeped in the fridge and it seems to be set.
i destroyed the top surface earlier though, when i tried to cover it with foil to put it in the fridge and it stuck to it. will need to do some kind of repair job tomorrow.
maybe a stencil with cocoa powder/icing sugar quite thick might cover it...or melted chocolate. i could melt chocolate, pour it into a festive cookie cutter (got a big star somewhere) on a bit of oiled foil. then chill to set and hopefully lift off and put on messy top of cake? hope you don't mind me thinking out loud here! that way i wouldn't be putting hot choc onto the cake.
hmm we can only get Calpol plugs at the moment. i thought the karvol one felt better as well, that would explain why we can't get refills.
Yes I've not been able to get my hands on a Karvol refill for months. I ended up buying the Calpol one for DD but I don't rate it as much. I wonder what the problem with Karvol is...
Oops, sorry for filling up the last thread! Thanks for the new one, Jaggy!
<puts up some twinkly fairy lights and lays out mince pies and brandy butter>
yay! congratulations to stacks for a Christmas baby. lovely news.
happy Christmas to all, hope everyone had a lovely day, we did. ds was at peak excitement and still hasn't calmed down. dd loved the bread sauce and Swede and was covered in both by the end of the meal. my folks left this morning only to be replaced by dp's folks who will be here for s few days. and our new sofa arrives tomorrow, yippee!
dd has gone in her own bedroom for the first time tonight and I miss her even though she's only next door
must catch up on the thread as I feel way out of the loop, see you soon brookers x
Jaggy, DH has turned to both melted chocolate and icing sugar in the past to disguise cracks! I think white chocolate was most successful. I'll have to make him attempt it again now we have a new, reliable oven - I think the dodgy ovens in previous places we rented never helped..
Ninja, hope DD sleeps well in her own room!
Apparently the person in Boots didn't say why they couldn't get them in, but said they hadn't been able to for a while :-(
Still full o' cold. I think Iz's tilted mattress helps.. only I've had to get up twice tonight where she's rolled onto her front (her favourite sleeping position), has wriggled.down the bed, and then becomes an angry crawling baby stuck at the bottom!
ha weird. about 2 minutes after we went to bed last night there was a wee noise from the boys and DH was on at me that one was crying. i did tell him i do this every night and i thought they were ok.
i went through and DS1 was upside down in his bed so i rearranged and tucked him in. DS2 was wriggling about squeaking quietly while asleep and trying to get comfy. he was on his tummy like a wee caterpillar and slept for over 2 hours, then i also found him at the bottom of the cot looking puzzled.
he's slept for another few hours there (up coughing again), so fingers crossed when this cold's away he might sleep even better. <denies any knowledge of 9 month sleep regression thing>
Quickly Jen as fractious babies, but S is a choker/vommer. However since 8 months he's spoon refused almost 100% of the time, so is blw. Kind of
he eats a lot of junk food as he won't touch anything else- like waffles, wedges, etc . My top tip- if you have a vommer who doesn't just bring back the stuck bit but hurls til their tummy is totally empty- clear the tray and stop feeding immediately you think they've had a half decent amount. It's just been time with him, he wasn't ready before. He will still regularly choke at the end of a meal and bring the entire lot back though . Think overflowing pelican bibs, full tray, all over the floor. So, so, so frustrating... And just feed a mixture of finger foods and puree/ pouches. I know 2 paediatricians and one paeds dietician (my mums colleague I harrass) and all say do a mixture.
Marking whilst packing manically. Suitcases hold so little!
D'oh! Only just twigged the last thread had maxed out!
I hope you've all had great Christmases?! We also had two, one on Xmas Day itself the other on Boxing Day. Little A had a wonderful time seeing everyone and throwing all her new toys about. Unfortunately she got completely over-excited on both days, so wouldn't go to sleep until incredibly late (after 11) and was then yoyo-ing up and down all night long. She refused point blank to go into her cot, but even co-sleeping didn't get me more than an hour's sleep at a time. Sigh.
Today is our first quiet, calm day at home, so I've gone back to Day 1 of the cc. Her morning nap was a nightmare, took over an hour to get her to sleep. The afternoon nap only took 5 minutes, which was such a relief. I'm dreading tonight though because she's back to her late-bedtime-late-wake up, and I think getting her to sleep before
10 9 will be impossible. All fun and games - it was silly of me to start the new sleep training just before Xmas. I was at the end of my tether though. I just hope we can get back to where we were before too long.
On a separate note, I don't think I'll be moving back home soon after all. In fact I'm leaning towards a formal separation at the moment. I don't want to drag down the thread with depressing and non-baby-related talk, so I promise not to go on about it. I just wanted to tell you, I guess because it's so hard to tell people in RL. Rather dreading life as a single Mum, it's certainly not how I saw myself turning 30, but hey-ho life goes on.
Please don't let me ruin the festive season however! Does anyone have any funny Christmas moments to tell us about? What about the people who usually get "unusual" gifts - any new ones this year?
Bon Voyage pomme. Brooking that all goes to plan and you have a brilliant 2013. Let us know when you've arrived.
Scream that really is very sad news. I'm sure you're thinking everything through carefully and I know you won't make any decisions that aren't sensible. Could it be though that things had just seemed worse because of having to spend a lot of time together and with rellys over Christmas? <hopeful>. Christmas can be stressful on a relationship at the best of times but if there's problems there already...Forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn and I obviously know very little about it. It just seems such a shame when you've been together so long and it's still so soon after A's arrival.
BTW don't feel as though you shouldn't be telling us about it on here. If you can't discuss it with anyone in RL it's important you get to vent somehow.
How many times have I thread hijacked over completely trivial stuff?
Cooking again tonight, this time for friends. Massive chilli on the go here. DS is saying his ear hurts, DD'S crying through being overtired? Friends not yet here and I'm wondering if its too late to cancel and hide under the duvet until the weekend
Oh and funny gifts, sadly not this year Scream. Mum and me are both extremely disappointed.
Scream, sad news. Please feel free to vent about it here though, as scarlet says, as it's important you have an outlet.
Sorry to hear about A's sleep too, but I suppose she has had a rather mad few days - as we all have! Iz's is all over the place too, though that's because of her cold too. Good luck with re-employing the CC - I'm sure you'll be back to your wonderful nights in a couple of days time.
Don't think I had any funny gifts...! I did get a Pungi - an Indian snake charming flute - my father has decided to get me weird and wonderful musical instruments for the last couple of years! My DH got a coat that's completely not his style.. but other than that I think all my gifts were relatively normal.
Hope your night went/is going well scarlet!
Braved the sales today to return a few things. Madness. Luckily we went quite early, as I imagine it would have been worse later. Feeling very bunged up, so will be heading to bed once DH has resettled Iz and we've watched the end of Outnumbered..
<marking my place>
<leaves mince lies and christmas cake>
So sorry to hear things are not better scream if its any consolation both first years of my boys' lives were incredibly tough on our marriage with divorce mentioned many times. Fingers crossed it works out for the best for you and a
musical, here's for quick return to health for your DD
Ditto for your dc scarlet, how did it go in the end? Worth seeing your friends or just too much hassle?
jaggy, DD had no sleep regression at 9 months. I am brooking no argument R, B and S don't either
because I'm breaking anyway . Boo to all the illness Chez Jaggy too.
scream, that's very sad news. I'm sure you won't rush into anything and its really obvious, but do you still have similar long term hopes/ dreams/ plans?? I'm another having a hard time now. Becoming parents is incredibly hard, especially with some of your dhs issues around family since he lost his parents when young. Coming from a 'broken home' I'd do anything within reason to keep dh and I together for the children, but equally unhappy parents do not make for a happy homelife. Has the councelling (so?) helped? and brooking for speedy resumption of good sleeping from little A!!
Ciao Bella pomme! Updates please. Really, nothing at all from dh for Xmas?
S rolling around really well now, B rolling a bit- they were rolling in totally synchronized tandem style thus morning, wish I'd had a camera!! So cute. And B babbling Ga Ga Ga Ga, da da da da etc. S loving walking round holding your hands. (I know they're not exactly early with these skills at nearly 9 months but I'm still super proud) .
at mince lies!
sorry to hear that scream. don't worry about talking about it, I'm away to bore you all about cheesecake again FFS.
my choc cheesecake was fine, could have done with a few more minutes in oven to be perfect i reckon. i made a chocolate star which hid the messy top and PIL really seemed to enjoy it. DH did lovely main and starter.
oh and DS1 came and tasted the pudding, I'd let him help a bit and he liked the star. it was nice to see as he doesn't ask to try stuff much at the moment!
<hands out cheesecake as it was huge and i have half left>
DS2 in bed at last (still coughing) so I'm away to bed. night night!
Oh, and sleep still depressingly horrendous from S. He slept in 10 min stretches only on Christmas night. I was a broken woman the next day...
Hurrah for the triumph with the cheesecake and your ds1 trying it jaggy
Aw that's lovely dream, tandem rolling sounds cute!
i can't remember if DS1 had 9mo regression but I've read a few threads about it. his sleep is fairly rubbish anyway tbh!
R still can't figure out the hands for crawling, but gets around by rolling and stretching for stuff. he can get back up to sitting from lying down which made me when i saw him do it the other day.
he was much earlier than DS1 with the walking holding hands, he's been obsessed with it since before 5 months. grandparents get all tired out with him insisting on standing!
Funny isn't it? DD was like R with the walking holding hands, amazingly early, S has got it in the last few weeks, B still doesn't!
When do babies show an interest in holding there own toys and how can I encourage it? DD is 12 weeks.
The tandam rolling does sound cute
DD was definitely about 15 weeks for an interest in toys cakes, just looked in her baby book . Just keep showing her, it'll come. She loved rattles, as do the boys
I believe our very first brooking baby is 1 today Happy Birthday little F. Hope you're all having a great time Hawthers.
I think any time around now cakes. Just try and give her things to hold and expect her to drop them lots until she gets the hang of it.
We went ahead with the entertaining Dream. Although I ended up apologising and heading to bed at midnight, I couldn't stay awake any longer. Our guests left about 1am and we then had a bad night with DS who has been a nightmare all week wanting to get up. I shouted at him at 5am this morning and told him that he didn't go to sleep his birthday wouldn't come because it would still be today and . Not my finest moment of parenting but he's so over excited from Christmas and about his birthday tomorrow he's not sleeping very well and he just shouts for us at the top of his voice. DH and I have been up and down like yo yos all week.
happy birthday not so little f! hope you're having fun hawthers.
dream tandem rolling sounds so sweet.
scream very sorry to hear about you and your dh, I hope things improve soon.
cakes I think dd was prob nearer 4 months but I'd just keep persisting and vary the toys as you never know what they'll take a shine to. ds loved hid rattle and dd had developed a real love for a soft doll.
random question: I think I want to retrain, possibly in psychology. I'm 38, do you think I'm too old?
oh and scarlet ds has also been a bedtime horror for the last week. I feel your pain! hope he has a lovely birthday though
Dream, tandem rolling sounds so sweet!
Iz is another one who loves being on her feet. She's loved it for ages- I remember watching the Olympics (so she must have been about 2 1/2 months old) and her wanting to be on her feet - obviously couldn't pull herself up yet, but really enjoyed it. Someone told me that can damage their legs at an early age though, so tried not to do it so often... it's her favourite thing now though, and she's constantly pulling herself up on things and then standing one handed. She lets go completely every now and again, which really freaks me out..
Jaggy, sitting up from lying down is impressive!
Thanks for the health well wishes. Iz seems to be getting better, but I'm getting worse - only got about 4 1/2 hours sleep last night due to being ill. Managed a short nap today, but really looking forward to getting to bed - I have scores to proof before I can though, urgh. I do have copious amounts of chocolate to help me cope though..
Happy birthday to F! Hope you've had a lovely day Hawthers.
Well remembered scarlet f is indeed 1 today. I can't believe he is so big! We've had a lovely day. Went swimming this morning and his big bro did amazingly well and floated with his feet off the ground and everything. F had a monster nap all afternoon then we had a birthday tea for 15 and now I'm exhausted. Have put a photo of f on fb - its difficult to get one as he is constantly on the move. And sympathies on the bedtime issues. DS1 has been up just about every night with one thing and another. DH totally knackered and keeps falling asleep if hr sits still for more than 10 mins. But also short tempered and he had a paddy earlier and ended up throwing a wet nappy on the floor in anger which of course exploded all over me, the kitchen floor, the hall carpet all 5 mins before all the guests arrived for tea. Fortunately it totally diffused his frustration and we ended up giggling.
ninja def not too old to retrain I don't think. Depressingly you've prob got another 30 yrs of work...
Happy birthday to f, that has gone quickly, I remember when you joined us Hawthers
I've decided it's about time to introduce a bedtime routine. N starts to get ready from 6, boob and get into sleeping bag. She has quiet time on my lap before going up to bed at 7. I read her a story in bed and then leave her. She's been quite good with this and going to sleep quite quickly. Only problem is that she doesn't sleep for long. When she wakes up, DH has been giving her weetabix to try and fill her up for the night. We started this on Weds, she took 45 mins to stop crying and go to sleep, last night took 90 mins and she has been crying for 15 mins so far tonight. This will get better, right? She's crying because she doesn't want to be in her cot, she puts her arms up to ask to be picked up but we are making her stay there and comforting her in bed.
R also falls asleep between 7 and 8 but not for long. sometimes we put him to bed, but if DS1 is struggling to get to sleep i just let him sleep on my knee in the living room for a bit and take him through when it won't disturb his brother.
i haven't really let either of them cry if i can help it so no idea, sorry Jen . i take the laziest way out of anything as i freely admit. crying just melts my head and i can't stand it. i had stereo crying last night, as DS1 didn't want to go to bed and DS2 was just exhausted. i felt slightly mental by the time i got them calmed down.
DS2's routine involves clambering around his brother's bed in his pjs while i brush both their teeth and read a bedtime story, then he goes into his sleeping bag and feeds to sleep. I'm not sure when I'll get more organised!
I never leave to cry. The baby whisperer says not to which is the only justification I need as I feel like jaggy about crying. While I may not be one to advise seeing as S is a terrible sleeper, all 3 go to sleep, between 7 & 7:30 by themselves with no tears (but some grumbling/whinging from B). Pick her up, comfort her, put her down again. That's what I'd do. She'll get the message- even S has!!! Their routine is bath, one at a time mainly as they're too splashy- well, b is and S gets fed up of it, plus I rarely tandem feed now as they feed badly- too busy giggling at each other. So bath, babygro, sleeping bag, boob, burb, put down for first baby (often b), then second nearly ready by the time I've done that, DD stuck in bath with baby number 2 in at some point, then baby 2 fed and put down, then DD gets hysterical if I don't do bedtime so if any further burping/ settling needed dh does that while i do stories/ pj's with DD. It's not ideal, as DD is downstairs by herself watching postman pat dvds til at least first baby is done.. she's so good, but i do feel sorry for the poor abandoned little tike
biscuits, I'm all confused about fb and where you disappeared to from the secret group... But I'll say it again, now you've re-friended me I know you de-friended me
We introduced a night time routine at about 6 weeks Jen. More for us than for Iz - having a routine helped me stay sane at bedtime!
The time is slightly flexible depending on how she's napped at the moment (she seems to be trying to cut down from 3 to 2 naps) and how late the last nap was, but she's normally asleep between 7 and 8. The routine begins with quieter playing time after dinner, and then DH takes over - with a bath on every other day, and then getting changed for bed and a sleeping bag. Sometimes a book (need to do this every day!) and often a few songs. I then feed her - sometimes to sleep, though if she's too awake I put her down and let her fall asleep on her own.
She doesn't tend to cry at bedtime, and if she wakes up and cries I let her for a couple of minutes if it's her usual shouting/grumpy cry - but if it's a proper upset cry I'm straight there. It's normally a grumpy one - as if complaining to the world that she's been woken up - and gets more shouty/grumpy if she can't resettle herself, at which point I go in. She doesn't "cry" properly much actually.. just shouts to get herself heard and her opinions across. I have a feeling she'll be a bit of a madam...!
Ah, she's been grumbling for a couple of minutes, so duty calls...
dream biscuits did the same to me, wonder what that's all about?
how lovely with all the recent no brookers babies arriving. must. stop. feeling. broody.
happy birthday scarlets ds. have a fab day.
Jen maybe a combo of patting and shushing might work? neither of mine have ever gone to bed early, usually around 8.30ish although dd often falls asleep on her bedtime bottle she drop off in the cot if I'm in the room. I sometimes resort to s quiet version of the wheels on the bus if she needs calming. I try not to pick her up unless she really kicks off. consistentcy is the key as far as I'm concerned, at least 3 weeks or so for it to stick. that said, don't be scared to modify once your routine is established. hope that makes sense?
db and sil coming today. I expect more Christmas hysteria from ds
<Dashes in between trips to diy shops zzzzzz>
Apologies - my fb went a bit pear shaped! No offence intended to anyone
<leaves gingerbread men and heads to another DIY shop>
Merry Christmas everybody!
Have just finished reading old thread and haven't started catching up on this one yet - just wanted to say Stacks, congratulations! What a Chrismas present! <gets broody> Hurray for you and baby Thomas.
So, I'm clearly Old now as I'm super pleased with my new Christmas present of a handheld vacuum cleaner.
However it has failed to make me a nicer person. Been horribly snappy to dh today. Plus horrible bedtime, loads of tears, finally had S ready, started feeding him then a mega vomit got me, the bedding, everything. In fact, I've just finished spooning and scraping the excess sick off the clothes and rinsing the chunks off ready for the wash, once the bedsheets are done... (I already did the sick treatment for them as we only have one base sheet, of all the ridiculous things, grumble, grumble...) So then he was hysterical in his cot while i fed B, had a bit more milk and went to sleep (phew) but I'm on the landing vigil for DD, as she had a short nap today sp is protesting about bedtime. She needed it though, we went swimming this morning while dh drove the boys round then lunch at pizza express, which was slightly stressful...
Sorry, interlude there for DD-cuddling...
So, thinking of pomme out starting her new life for 18 months <awe>
Hoping biscuits solved the DIY crisis
And Brooking all the poorly Lo's are improving.
Also, straw poll survey, how much of their awake time do your babies spend left to their own devices? In bouncers, jumperoos, on mats etc by themselves? And what things do you do with them?
I'm wondering how bad mine are in comparison as my dad was saying how he felt for the boys just sat getting bored and whingey after lunch while i desperately cleared up the devastation of 3 highchair bound children all feeding themselves... I only do essential jobs- like preparing (quick) meals, clearing up after meals, laundry in and out of washing machine/ tumble dryer (if i don't run 1-2 loads a day I'm stuffed and can end up doing 4-5 in a day to try and catch up, don't quite know how that works!!). But the poor boys get remarkably little time and attention from me.
I'm feeling guilty, as i know biscuits joked about needing to take her ds2 somewhere other than the supermarket but that's an exaggeration as he has swimming lessons and everything!! My boys have never been in a pool... Today they went car to buggy to highchairs, to buggy, to car, to buggy (as they didn't sleep on the way home after lunch so were pushed for a nap in the rain, as usual) then I was having to start tea once they woke up. I sang them one song. Poor little tikes. They sometimes catch a bit of a playgroup on a Wednesday, and are now usually awake if we make it to music group on Thursday- but that runs Uni style terms with long breaks, so finished 2 weeks before Christmas... And that's it. As we do a lot of stomping round the village, playground in the rain type stuff we are always out but they're stuck in a forward facing buggy with no interaction. Argh!!! The mother guilt has got me badly today!!!
I have the laptop and a sleeping baby, so thought I'd come do a proper post to say hello. I just got home from the hospital yesterday, which is good but has been a bit surreal too, and also a bit of an adjustment. There are no midwives to ask silly questions of and to help make me feel secure just being there, there's no meals delivered at the right time and right temperature (apart from breakfasts, where the milk was warmer than the toast), and there's no other mums to talk to and see struggle. I did sleep better last night than I have in a long time - in that I slept at all. I think I've only managed a dose in the hospital with all the noises and lights. DH has found the transition to be being home a bit hard though - he's been getting 10 hours a night while I've been in hospital, and this morning felt so so tired as he'd only had 6 or 7 hours with the baby disturbing him.
DS has been a wonderful baby so far, never really crying, and feeding and sleeping really well. By far the best behaved baby on the ward He's a little overcooked, coming out at 42+2, so has really dry skin on his hands and feet, and long (sharp!) little nails. He's also a practiced fist sucker, he's excellent at getting them to his mouth, and makes the cutest noise when sucking them (and getting them in the way when trying to latch).
I'm still recovering from the CS, and stil in quite a bit of pain. I stayed in hospital an extra night to try and get on top of it, and it's a bit better, but I'm still taking more than the expected amount of painkillers. It's really painful to lay on my side unless the painkillers are working fully, which is making sleeping and feeding hard (I like to lay down and feed for the most part, it's easier while I'm so tired too). Really hoping this improves soon, those of you that had CS - how long did it take to be pain free when doing nothing?
Also, I have one sore nipple - DS suckles after he's finished feeding, and tends to nip at this one nipple much more than the other (I think I'm going to get a dummy tomorrow to try and help). However, in the mean time how does 'it' work? The rules seem quite strict on feeding the same amount from each side, but can I miss a feed or two on one side to let the nipple recover? Will it cause an uneven milk supply?
I'm just sort of dumping all the thoughts I've been thinking for the past few nights. I've wondered what advice I'd get from MN on all this stuff, but it's turned this into a mammoth me me me post!
I've been reading the thread for a while to try and keep up with you all. I don't really have much I can offer just now though, apart from some sympathy and some 'aww' comments. One day I will be as wise as all of you, but till DS grows a bit and I get a little more experience, I may stay kind of quiet (except to ask for help, with the promise of future re-payment).
dream i honestly don't feel i have the energy to be nice to DH sometimes. I think I try harder with the dc, because I'd feel bad snapping at them. in moments of calm, i do try to show more affection but tbh that's not often enough.
i have no idea how you'd do it with 2 babies and a younger toddler! i keep telling myself it'll get better after the baby stage when DS2 goes to bed a bit earlier...and stays asleep longer!
having said that the boys slept in for ages this morning after a late night out last night. we met lots of lovely friends for an annual just after Christmas meal. DS1 slept till 9 and DS2 was up at 8. DS2 had a massive coughing fit which freaked me out completely, then a poo, then cuddled back in to sleep till 10.
he is now pretending it's not night time...
Stacks, hurrah for being home - congratulations!
Re the nipple pain - what kind of pain is it? I had sore/cracked/bleeding nipples for the first month or so of life with DD, and my tips are as follows:
- Use Lansinoh (nipple cream) or similar after every feed if you need to. If they crack especially. Expressing a bit of milk onto the nipple and leaving it on there to air dry helps.
- Air your nipples as much as possible if they are hurting. (just make sure to put them back in before guests arrive, or opening the door to the postman).
Purple was our resident wonderful BF tip/expert person.... hope all's going well for her at the moment! Do you have a BF consultant person locally who can come out to you? I did, and that helped me so so much. I've been told that introducing a dummy before 6 weeks is a bad idea as the latch hasn't been properly learnt by the baby until then, and introducing one will actually do more harm than good. One of my friends tried to, and had that problem. I'm sure there'll be people with different experiences though...
Eeek Iz is awake - I'll be back...
Stacks I know how you feel on the not being able to offer much advice to others bit. Coming home from hospital is also quite daunting, hope DH and any other family are helping, espec round house, food etc.
I had a CS spent 4 nights in hospital in total and took painkillers for about a week after I came home. Just don't do what I did, make sure you eat then have tablets else you end up with an upset tummy on top of everything else.
I spent most of first week sleeping on the sofa and feeding lay on the lounge floor I just couldn't master any sat up feeding positions to begin with. Also meant DH had reasonable sleep. I think I got more comfortable feeling when DD was about 3-4wks old.
I had a couple of issues with one breast and really couldn't bear feeding from that side. I missed feeding from it a couple of times and it did help although in my case I got told feeding would sort issues. Sometimes it can get really really uncomfortable feeling if you don't feed from one side for a while but hand expressing is then always an option. I'm sure others know more though.
Thanks for your kind words jaggy
stacks, I had a luffly planned section, so bit different, but it was a twins section, so larger overall bloodloss etc. (Though well within normal for a twin section, just a bit more than singleton iykwim). I came home on day 4 and was sobbing over how I couldn't cope as if i knelt down to cuddle DD, who was desperate for a cuddle, 18 months old and never away from me before, any movement when she was slightly too boisterous with her cuddle was agony. It was very sore and i was taking the full dose of diclofenac and paracetamol. On day 6 the diclofenac gave me D&V and i was in total agony, more sobbing. I stopped it then though, just paracetamol, every 4 hours. By day 14 I was taking no painkillers, day 15 i was driving, day 17 i drove the three children to a playgroup!! So with luck it could be much faster than you expect, I was feeling very bleak about how long it'd take in the first week. A friend had an emergency section after failure to progress- she'd been in labour 3 days, so it wasn't a category 1 kind of emergency but long hard time before it, and she said she walked from her house to town, lunch in a cafe, town to park, cake there, park home on day 16 or so (though her hubby pushed the buggy) and i was very very jealous as no way could I have done that after my third degree tear!! I easily could have after my CS.
Yes, I think you can miss a feed or two, although I'd be tempted to try and express if you do, just to keep/ get your supply up. But feeding twice in a row from the same side is fine, I used to forget and do it with DD all the time!! Do you have a pump? I was terrible for this, but you do have to just take them off if they're feeding/latching badly. I know exactly what you mean though, I've one brilliant feeder, and one who nips. I take him off when he's latched wrongly, but he's also started biting which is just as bad- I've had multiple bouts of mastitis this time, loads of antibiotics for it and lots of pain. A lot of my problems were due to not being able to stop him latching badly and sliding off towards the nipple end while feeding as I had no hands as they fed constantly when tiny so I always tandem fed. Now its if I'm knackered in the night and don't notice/act. I found seeing a lactation consultant and breast feeding network supporters really helpful. Have you got in touch with anyone? They came out to me as I would have struggled to get to a bf group. I'm sure they would to you after a CS.
Right, got to go, my bedsheet is finally out of the tumble dryer and I'm dying to get to bed!!!
Oh, snap cakes, my problem was I'd been taking the diclofenac on an empty stomach. Vomiting plus CS wound = Bad Plan. So make sure you eat with it if you're taking an anti-inflammatory stacks. even if its just a piece of toast and glass of milk.
Agree with the lansinoh too. Every feed and in between too. With my nipples both getting a constant battering I used 2.5 tubes with the boys!!
hi stacks, congrats again and hello.
sorry i can't remember how long the pain took to subside a bit with my cs. i was on painkillers for a while though.
i did favour one side when feeding a bit after i got a cracked nipple (DS1 had a tongue tie). i expressed a wee bit from the side i was slightly avoiding and also used loads of Lansinoh. it all seemed to even out in the end! if it's hurting a lot the latch might not be quite right though, maybe worth getting it checked. even with a baby feeding away for ages you shouldn't really be getting mangled.
hope it settles down soon.
also reckon avoid dummy if at all possible, all that seemingly extra sucking at this stage is stimulating your supply.
oops. just as DS2 finally dropped off I've had to make a dash to the toilet with a bad tummy. think maybe my leftover cheesecake is not agreeing with me as the same happened yesterday. poo. better chuck the rest.
Hmmm, she's muttering to herself now...
Stacks - I also fed from one side more than the other at times when I had really bad cracking/bleeding on one side. Just be careful not to do it too much or you may end up with blocked ducts (as I did).
Aaahhhhhhh Iz still has a bit of a temperature. Took her to the ooooooh doctor (as they're now known in our house!) earlier, who checked her over and confirmed no obvious infections - he reckons she's had a couple of viruses back to back.
Don't think it helps that DH keeps turning the thermostat for the house up and up. He's already in bed (has caught the cold I've had), and just realised he'd turned it up 5 degrees. I am raging - hoping this raging over something ridiculous is a sign that AF is on its way, and not just me going mad! Woke up Iz taking a layer off her (as she was boiling... probably due to combination of house temp and fever), so took forever to get her down again
Dream, ouch to the constant nipple battering by the boys, and to 2.5 tubes! I got through .5 - I remember being shocked at the price, but it really is worth its weight in gold...
Iz spends quite a bit of time left to her own devices normally. She seems to like it that way. I take her to baby groups and she crawls off into the middle of the room to play with toys and talk to other people!! At home she does a mixture of playing with me, playing with toys on her own and tormenting the cats. She seems to be very independent though. Interestingly, for the past week since she's been under the weather she's been a lot more clingy- quite lovely as I've gotten more cuddles! I personally think it's important that babies are left to their own devices a bit to ensure they can play independently, to ensure that the parents can actually do a few things..! (or maybe that's just me...). I suppose it also helps that she can get around on her own now.. although makes it much more dangerous..
A handhold hoover sounds like a fabulous Christmas present Dream. I'll join you in getting old .
Hi Stacks! Congrats again, and lovely to see you in here!
I had a planned section, and I was very lucky that the recovery went super smoothly. I'm a HUGE wuss when it comes to pain, so I took the max allowed dosage of both painkillers, until over a week after my cs, despite not really being in proper pain at any point. I'm certain I took the meds for longer than I actually needed them, I was just too afraid to miss a dose and find out how it felt unmedicated! It was a really short time, in retrospect, from cs to being pain-free whilst lying in bed without meds, I probably tried it for the first time around day 10 and it was fine.
As for giving one side a break from bfing - every baby is different and you have to see what
you can get away with works for your LO. I had AWFUL engorgement at the beginning, it lasted from day 2 through to day 12 - a truly ridiculously unlucky length of time. Due to my anime-style rock hard balloon boobs, poor DD couldn't get a good latch and although she was a really good feeder my nipples became super sore very early on. At the one week mark one nipple in particular was so sore I was sobbing every time DD latched on, and I basically decided that I'd rather give up bfing than carry on with the pain. As a last ditch attempt to make it through the seemingly never-ending engorgement period I decided to give the extra-sore nipple 24 hours off duty. I fed DD as normal on the the other side, and then expressed from the sorest side and gave DD a bottle with the ebm. So DD alternated boob and bottle for 24 hours at 1 week old.
It is definitely NOT RECOMMENDED by bfing experts to introduce a bottle so early when you want to ebf, in case of nipple confusion. However I was at a point where if I hadn't been able to let my nipple heal I would have just moved to ff anyway, so I decided to take the risk. I was very lucky that DD took it all in her stride, she accepted the bottle without protest, and still continued to bf with no problems. After 24 hours off my nipple felt soooooooo much better and I was able to continue bfing on that side, my supply was unaffected (my problem was always over-supply). I ebf DD for 5 months, and only gave up bfing after 6 months, and throughout that time she had 1 or 2 bottles of ebm every day, whenever we were out in public.
The point of my stupidly long-winded story is that not every baby gets nipple confusion, and sometimes giving your boobs a break can be beneficial for bfing in the long term. Obviously I'm sure the bf experts are right, and perhaps lots of babies do get confused, but if it's a choice between giving up bfing altogether or having a break, I'd say it's worth a try!
Dream every time you casually mention everything you get done on an average day my jaw hits the ground! You are a superstar! I'm quite certain your LOs are incredibly lucky to have such an amazing Mum, so no more guilt thank you! <stern look at Dream> I agree with Musical that kids need to spend at least some time each day entertaining themselves, to encourage independence. I'm hopeless at this myself, DD is with me for almost all the time she's awake. As a consequence of this I can't get anything done all day long, it takes me until DD's afternoon nap to get dressed
most some days . DD will play "by herself" (meaning no direct interaction from me) so long as I'm sitting right by her. If I try to get her to play on a mat by herself in the kitchen while I'm making a meal though she immediately comes over to me and pulls at my knees to be picked up. If I try to move her away she cries and repeatedly comes back over to me.
I personally think that the fact you've had to leave the boys to their own devices a lot more is a positive. You're always close by, they're not alone or unstimulated, I think watching you work is probably both stimulating and educational for them! Not to mention the development that comes from independent play! By pandering to DD's clinginess I think I'm not really helping her in the long run So she gets alot of direct development - helping her to learn to balance / walk / sign / talk etc. We do alot with the walker everyday, we read several books each day, we sing songs and generally tumble around with her thousands of toys. Plus she's not ALWAYS with me, I actually go out a fair bit and I've been on several overnight trips away from her, so she's with her Dad or my family alot. The problem is she's never left to her own devices, she always has someone directly interacting with her. I'm hoping nursery will help with this though.
I find it really stressful to try and get anything done while looking after DD because she cries, so I've just stopped trying really I arrange for my DH, or sis, or Mum, etc etc to look after DD while I do anything, even basics like putting a wash on. Trying to get stuff done while she's crying just upsets us both. It's a poor excuse though, I know I'm being a bad Mum and not preparing her for the real world by not developing her independence.
Wow, talk about going overboard with my response there! I'm sorry, and I'm way too tired to go back through and try to cut down the waffle. Apologies ladies, I have never mastered the knack of being concise
Welcome home Stacks. Lovely to hear that DS has been settling well. Your DH should think himself lucky to get 6/7 hours sleep
I've not had that much sleep since before I was pg with DS over 4 years ago
I can't help with the nip or boobage query, but I can tell you about my EMCS.
Mine also occurred at the end of a long, drawn out, uncomfortable induction process after spending 2 days and nights on a busy labour ward hearing everything else going on. I found the wind pains horrific until day 4 and actually couldn't believe it was only wind that was causing it. I then went and got an infection in my wound and was put on anti biotics on day 5. I felt ill rather than pain to be honest. I felt I needed the diclofenac and paracetamol until about day 12 I think. I could probably have stopped before but I was scared.
It's amazing how suddenly you're able to do stuff. I went from being unable to walk to carrying on at home as nearly normal within a fortnight or so. I left driving for a month mainly because I didn't want anyone to think "oh well she's back to normal now, she doesn't need any help". Anyone meaning DH.
If you're planning on breast feeding for longer I believe it's advisable to not use a dummy until BFing is fully established. I think quite often babies end up fooling themselves into being pacified by a dummy when really it's food they need and it can cause problems with with their weight gain and also your supply.
Dream you really are hard on yourself. Please give yourself a break!
Both my kids spend loads of time entertaining themselves and DS is living proof that it's a good thing IMO (check out my latest FB photos). He has a brilliant attention span, his attention to detail is amazing and he doesn't whine or whinge. I play with him every day but probably only a couple of times say for 15 minutes each? He then gets read to every night before bed for half an hour or so, but that is probably it. Of course he has other adult interaction like his weekly swimming lesson with DH and his playgroup sessions 3 times a week, but at home he pleases himself most of the time, although obviously I'm there. And he's good at it.
DD has even less 121 time with me. Again, she's a happy little soul. I play with her every day. Probably more frequent, but shorter time slots. She plays on the floor with her toys or ages.
Hmm, reading all your posts I'm now resolved to try to let DD spend more time entertaining herself. I think it's a little harder for us because we have super hard wooden/tile floors throughout the house, and for months now the only thing little A wants to do is pull herself up on things and stand. Increasingly she doesn't even want to hold on to anything once she's standing. So she falls a lot and I tend to follow her around catching her. She's only bumped her head on our floors a few times, but each and every time it's so hard and loud that my heart stops! I know that it's a natural part of the learning process to fall a lot, but I really think that these floors aren't soft enough for her to learn on, I seriously worry about the risk of concussion! So I'm not sure how to make a safe area for DD to play in, there's no chance of getting her to voluntarily stay on her foam playmat!
Playpen Scream? Or one of those playpens that opens out and turns into a room divider? You get get a rug to go on the floor on the section she plays in and section the rest of the room off? I had a playpen for DS, it was quite roomy and I left him in it while I was in the kitchen or ironing. I've not got it out for DD because I probably wouldn't want to leave in her in it if DS was in the room but I wasn't. But I might get it out for when he returns to playgroup to give me more time to get on with stuff while he's not here. My new year resolution is to try and keep on top of the housework.
Thank you for the welcome and advice. I'm on my phone again so will make this quite quick.
I gave sore nipple a break for one feed (so just fed from the other side twice in a row) and it helped a lot. I'm also using lansinoh, and have done since the first couple of feeds. I think in all I've been lucky, as my sore nipple only really had a couple of cracks and one line of blood. DS is a very eager and strong latcher though, so I have to be very careful when he goes on. That said, since yesterday he's been latching himself well with no help from me at all.
I think I'll leave the dummy idea for a while. See how he gets on over the next few days/weeks till DH is back to work. He's just very hard to settle if I move him at all after he's finished a feed. Going to try hot water bottle and a mum-smelling muslin in the crib first.
DH just brought me lunch. Going to eat and post again later.
Just read my post back from last night and worried that it sounded bad.
Of course DS is asking me questions and getting me to show him how to do stuff all the time if I'm in the room with him. It's not like I ignore him! I just meant that sitting down and playing with him properly only occurs a couple of times a day mostly. Of course there are other days where we play a lot more and DH spends a lot of time playing at the weekend.
I'm one-handed mn ing and pushing boys so quick one...
I think developmentally they're not entertaining themselves well for long until 18mo plus. DD certainly wasn't, I did exactly as you do now scream except sometimes I'd put her in the sling and do a few jobs. She's getting pretty good at independent play now at nearly 28 months and its come naturally. Plus she has fantastic concentration through doing drawing/reading/1:1 activities and if she's not too tired she doesn't flit between things too much- I think that's helped by my
stupid no tv policy too. She does watch after tea though, and is watching now with daddy as she won't nap but could do with it and dh is tired, so easy option.
The boys are crying quite a bit while o do stuff but still play independently more than DD ever did.
Be back need two hands to push up this hill...
Oh, and i wouldn't feel so bad if they could move if they'd got bored, its that they're stuck pretty much where they were put, for b anyway, with whatever I gave them, til whenever I get back...
Stacks I feel your pain with DS being difficult to settle. People recommend swaddling, hot water bottle etc and in my (limited!) experience they helped a bit, but generally my DS preferred to sleep on me. I cracked it by introducing a dummy at 6 weeks and only feeding him when he woke up, but we did have weight gain issues, maybe because of over-using the dummy? I think a lot of newborns don't 'get' sleeping solo for a while.
And then they regress at 6 months and forget it again. I hope DH brings you food, drinks and the remote control while you cuddle the baby for days .
Dream I totally sympathise about your issue with leaving the boys to play while you do chores. I feel like my whole time at home is spent finding different places to leave DS while I do housework. I don't even get that much done! DS has loved visiting my parents because there was always someone there to pay attention to him. On the train home today he kept trying to talk to strangers and smile and interact with them, but of course nobody wanted to entertain him. I felt quite sorry for him, having his efforts rebuffed after a week of admiration. Anyway, I think we can only do our best, and at least yours have each other and DD to watch. Sometimes I wish we lived in a primitive village with lots of people to share childcare - though there'd be fewer toys, of course! But I'm starting to think that toys for babies are really invented to give adults a break, not for the babies' development.
pet, they totally are, I have moved to the Dark Side and use my jumperoo when it will hinder their development, not help it...
Total stereo screaming today, for ages. Dh and I both feeling down, and not just today. The boys weaning isn't going well, in fact its a bit of a disaster, sleeping is dire, b is back to two wake ups not one, we get no break from it/ them at all. Urgh. Your comment is exactly what I feel scream - " I find it really stressful to try and get anything done while looking after DD because she cries, so I've just stopped trying really" . Absolutely. Hence why i put them all to bed, then go round with my vacuum/new hand held one, sweep and mop floors, fold dry laundry and put in piles outside bedrooms etc. No time for me, but i don't know what else to do. As i said, they get left crying, mostly around tea time, and i find I'm stressed about it a lot every day.
Sorry for the whinge. I'm just letting off steam I think, and trying to see if I can think of any solutions...
Sure you're right about DT1 snacking in the day and filling up at night too pet but even feeding upstairs doesn't help so now what?!
And pet, I'd so have smiled and cooed at your ds on the train, poor little boy, and how sweet of him
My new years resolution will be feck the housework, enjoy the children more, try to go out with dh, try to get running again.
try to lose the mummy tummy
I'm sorry to go off topic but I want to ask your advice. It looks like I have to go back to my second (as and when) job as soon as I can get things sorted. (overdraft totally unhealthy no other way out) Anyway in order to go back to work I need to be able to leave DD with DH and no doubt she'll want milk. Options are express or buy formula and hope she'll use a bottle. She's 12weeks old if I was out for about 4 hours how much milk would I need to try and express?
Haven't figured out when I would fit expressing in but due to ending up slightly full on one side I managed to express about 2ozs tonight in not that long. (First time ever proper attempt so very impressed.) I may have been able to get more but I wasn't sure,,,
Only a quick post as I'm at my parents, and just resettling Iz. Scream, we have wooden and tiled floors throughout the downstairs of my house, and no foam playmat (the fabric one became a risk when she crawled). Hoping to get a rug soon. I still let Iz play independently - she's learnt when she's standing up to shout at me if she wants to get down, as although she's pulling herself up on everything she can't get down again yet! She used to have a playtable at one side of the room that she'd crawl up to, pull herself up, and play for ages. I ended up having to leave her there at times as whenever I put her down she'd crawl straight there!
A playpen is a good idea...my route is just lazy parenting! She hasn't fallen down properly in ages though - her balance has improved lots and she's learnt how to break her fall. With our floors as they are, I had to come to terms with the fact there would always be some risks unless I baby proofed absolutely everything - something I wasn't willing to do!
Cake, in 4 hours you might get away with her only needing one feed- perhaps just 4oz? I'd personally express more - maybe 8oz? - but store it in smaller 'portions', and have both available for the first time you're out. I know babies often don't eat so much when their mothers aren't around, but then Iz had about 12oz during the first day she spent alone with DH...
I used to be able to get 2/3oz in a go, now it's about 1 . I tend to do that over a few days, then put a whole 4oz 'serving' in a bag in the fridge. Have been out a few times recently (mainly to performances!) while DH has been babysitting, and have worked through the freezer supply without replenishing it.. oops..
Scarlet, I know what you meant!
Just realised my last post sounds like I just leave Iz to get on with things Scream! I don't, honest . I just don't hover beside/over her playing constantly, or play with her constantly. When my parents babysat her a month or so ago, when she was getting tired towards the end of the evening she just played on her own on her playmat for a half hour or so. My father played with her a bit, but she wasn't interested - just wanted to play with and chat to her toys!
Cakes I think about 3oz breast milk per feed is recommended - have a look at the Kellymom website (sorry can't link on my phone but I think you can google it) which has some really helpful stuff. Or Jaggy could advise as she is wise about these things. Boo to going back to work though.
Dream excellent resolutions. I think we should all adopt them
except for the mummy tummy nonsense. I'm sorry things are still so tough for you. DS is off his food at the moment following a nasty bout of teething (I think - though no teeth to show for it yet). It's so stressful, especially since he wouldn't even breastfeed because of the pain. (Thank God he's nursing again now so I'm more comfortable.) And he hasn't pooed for 3 days. I may have to re-employ the lactulose... Anyway, you have worked hard enough now so I decree that 2013 will bring better things for the Dream household. <waves arms imperiously and sends slaves scuttling to do your housework while you put your feet up>
X-post Musical. Iz sounds amazing - both with her physical skills and the ability to entertain herself!
I think baby-proofing seems so futile! Obviously I know we need to put away wires and obvious hazards, but I think there are still so many hazards that can't be managed. For example little A is constantly trying to pull herself up on things that aren't stable, or leaning on the gap between the door and the door frame (where the hinges are), or finding tiny dangerous things on the floor that I hadn't noticed before! I'm not suggesting that it's not worth trying to baby-proof a little, I'm just having a whinge about how impossible it is to create a completely safe baby environment!
Musical luckily little A is very good at getting down as well as up, so she doesn't call me over to get down. Her problem is usually that she picks up a toy whilst standing, then lets go of the chair/coffee table/random object that was supporting her so that she can get both hands on the toy, and while she's focusing on the toy rather than her balance she will suddenly tip backwards and smack the back of her head hard on the wooden floor
Thanks for the playpen suggestion Scarlet I agree that would be the safest the option. In reality though I think little A wouldn't approve... I think she would just hang onto the edge of the playpen and scream at me until I let her out. The way she does in the cot. It's a good idea though.
Dream I know what you mean about having no time to yourself!! Same as you, as soon as I get little A to bed in the evening I then run around like a crazy person doing all the washing/cleaning/tidying and other boring housework I haven't got done during the day. Every time someone else picks up DD to play (my Mum/Sis/Dad etc) I immediately vanish and try to get 15 different things done before they come over to give DD back so they can get on with their own tasks. It's particularly hard atm because I can't even get washing etc done while DD naps - if I make any noise in our little flat while she's asleep she wakes straight away. In the evenings I always end up taking all my washing etc out of the flat and into the main house so I can get it all cleaned without waking her So silly.
Well it's been a long stressful night here, having a heart-to-heart with my parents and DH. Sigh. My parents ostensibly wanted to discuss our living arrangements for the next few months, but as it turns out they mainly wanted to try to somehow nag us into getting back together Babies do better in two-parent households don't you know?
Irrespective of how bitterly those two parents fight apparently. Have you thought about how this decision will affect little A? No Dad, it hadn't' even crossed my mind, do you think she'll notice? If you really wanted to make it work you'd be fine. Silly me! Why didn't I think of that?! I should just click my heels together three times and wish really hard for a happy marriage! Sigh. I know they mean well I think but it's just so frustrating!!!
D'oh! That post was so long and interrupted so many times, that I x-posted with loads of people! Sorry!
Cakes I used the Kellymom site as a guide when figuring out how much expressed milk I needed for DD when I couldn't bf for 48 hours (following a sedation dental appointment). Here's the link I hope it helps.
I totally agree with everything Musical said about the expressing. Also, I'm v impressed with Iz's self-entertaining and knowing how to break her falls. Such a clever little lady!
Pet I hope your DS stops feeling all blocked up soon, poor little man.
We have internet! Yay. We also all seem to have a virus! Boo.
Still need to sort out cars and work out the whole city centre to nursery/school, office and back malarky...
scream - so sorry to hear about you and your dh. Frustrating of your parents to talk to you like that about it too. They mean well though. Parenting does not seem to ever get easier!
Dd1 was always good at entertaining herself, dd2 is rubbish but having dd1 around helps a bit in that respect. Unfortunately they 'play' by creating chaos so any housework I get done is offset by the mess they create that needs cleaning up.
I have an iPhone! Bear with me as I work out how to post from it.
Am playing hookey - left M with Dh while I get him a birthday present. Am sitting in car outside shops playing with my new phone.
scream, sorry to hear things aren't working out with your Dh. Hope you're ok. We're here if you want to vent.
Dream, M spends a lot of time on the floor playing on her own!
while I MN I do think it's ok, and it keeps me sane! [selfish mummy emoticon]
Is this cluster feeding, or just settling issues/reassurance? T was feeding for 5-15m at a time, then sleeping for an hour or so. However last night and today he's been feeding for more like an hour each feed. He seems to fall asleep on the breast quite quickly (20m or so) but keep the nipple in his mouth and suckle intermittently over the next 40m or more. Each time giving a squirm and squeaks of protest.
If I do take the nipple out he tends to wake up, find it again, and settle back to feeding again.
Sorry, that was very me me me, without even a hello! I'm typing one handed with an aching arm, around T's head while he's feeding.
I'll write a much nicer post if he ever spits out this nipple.
Sounds like cluster feeding to me, stacks. Hope he falls asleep soon!
Sounds normal to me Stacks
yeah sounds normal. I've a widgey pillow to balance R on for eating and MNing hands free. i think it wasn't quite so good for really tiny new babies as they slid down the gap a wee bit and also they fall off the boob sometimes! once they get better at staying latched on and grow a bit it's saved me some sore arms.
i think there's a big dent in the couch from me sitting there of an evening...
don't want to count my chickens, but R has been doing some longer sleeps the last few nights. he's been taking ages to settle in the evening though.
Happy New Year Everyone! May 2013 have the times of good and happiness outweigh the bad and sadness
I'm nodding with exhaustion - is it the sign of getting old to want to go to bed before midnight on Hogmanay? We aren't out - we're lying on separate sofas half-watching Alan Carr and MNing/playing with phones in silence.
FX it's the start of better times, Jaggy.
we've just watched a DVD and I've not even had a drink! managed a fair bit of chocolate orange though.
off to bed now i think though.
happy new year all...
happy new year lovely brookers. may 2013 be awesome for all of us xxx
In bed by 10.45 and feeling rotten with a viral thing that has gone round the family up here, facing a 300 mile trip down south with the 3 boys coming down with it too. 2013 be kind to us please?
Happy New Year!
It's Dh's birthday too, so am on pampering duty, yawn. Still, making birthday cake is not exactly a chore! Mmm.
Happy New Year all.
Little T had his most trying day yesterday, with hours and hours of feeding and only two 1h power naps the whole day/night. By midnight last night he was just thrashing about around the boob crying. The nipple was in his mouth, but he was acting like he couldn't find it. I found it all quite distressing to see him so upset
Finally gave up on trying to feed him and did an hour of jiggling while DH slept, which got T to sleep, but only till I moved him. However, I got him in bed at about 1:30 and attached to an incredibly sore nipple expecting another mammoth session. Must have fallen asleep pretty quickly without realising it (I was exhausted). Then woke up at 2:30 with an aching arm and cold breast... and a sleeping T! He slept through till 6, woke for a nappy change and 20m feed, and is still asleep now. Bliss.
Hawthers hope you feel better soon. Are you able to nap/rest in the car for the journey? Is it a stressful and busy visit, or one you can plant yourself on a sofa for?
Nearly just lost this whole post by mis-clicking on my phone. So I'm going to post now.
Happy New Year all! And happy birthday to Too's DH. Enjoy the cake!
Stacks glad you got some sleep in the end - hope that nipple is less sore soon.
Hawthers no brooking that the boys are, in fact, tired rather than virus-y. And you have a smooth, uneventful journey home.
I hoped there was a breastfeeding forum on here, but I can't find one using the phone app. Can you offer any advice?
T latches himself now when I breastfeed laying down. He's pretty good at it I thought, getting on the breast in a few seconds. The latch is sore for the first little while, then settles down so I can barely feel it.
He'll then feed for 15-45 minutes before falling asleep still attached, or turning his head to spit out nipple, then snuggling in to me. He's never been offered the second breast, as he's always asleep on the first.
He was weighed the other day, and is only 30g short of his birthweight.
So, The midwife came over this afternoon as I mentioned to her that I wasn't sure our latch is quite right. This is only because the cluster feeding yesterday made my nipples really sore, and the fact he latches himself, which no one told me he should be able to do.
She watched and said he latches wrong. I can see from the pictures that she's right, he doesn't have as much breast in his mouth as he should, and his cheeks dimple slightly as he sucks. He also does 2-3 sucks per swallow, rather than the 1:1 suggested by the book. When she latched him on properly he pulled back to his normal latch, needing her to relatch him multiple times.
However, she's scared me saying T will be exhausting himself trying to suck, isn't getting enough milk, and that I'll get thrush and blocked ducts etc. she said we should be waking him up every time he falls asleep on the breast, and putting him back till he refuses one, then giving him the second breast.
We tried this for the feed while she was here and after she left. Waking T up about 5 times and refusing to let him settle. I can latch him better in cross carry hold, so resorted to that to force more in. Finally let him rest, when he vomited a spectacular amount of milk, soaking through his clothes. After a change he settled to sleep refusing more milk.
What do I do? Keep going as before, or do what she says?
Happy new year everyone!
Stacks, definitely sounds like cluster feeding to me. For the first couple of months of her life DD settled into a 4/5 hour cluster feeding session every evening.... I used to take phone (for MN, obviously!), Kindle, and lots of snacks [grins].
It would appear we've had flu here for the last wk, judging by just how bad things have been. DH has had it too, and obviously Iz has had something (cough, phlegmmy, temperature). Still feeling rotten, which is rubbish - we've effectively lost the last week, which is really sad for DH as he goes back to work tomorrow if well enough
Does anyone have any new years resolutions? Mine are to work harder on my music, to listen more (to music, radio, and everyone I love!), and to generally be happier and lesss stressed!
Sorry Stacks, cross post!
Tips I was told from the breastfeeding supporter who came out to visit me, and the breastfeeding group I go to:
- You do have to persist with the latch. If it still hurts after 10 seconds (I used to sing a song that was 10 sec long to get me through!) then it's wrong. You do have to keep relatching if it is wrong, or they'll learn the wrong one and cause you more pain in the long run (that's what happened to me!).
- Does he have enough wet/dirty nappies? Wet more important! If so, then he's getting enough milk.
- There's nothing wrong with falling asleep on the breast- it's completely natural. As long as he doesn't do it after a couple of minutes, then not get enough milk (as demonstrated by the number of wet nappies) then it's not a problem. I still regularly feed Iz to sleep.
- There seem to be two schools of thought re breasts and emptying them. My breastfeeding supporter said always feed from one breast for an entire hour - if they stop feeding, then want more, if within an hour then return to that same breast. Other people say swap when it's empty. To be honest, I think it's more of a personal preference thing - and you'll discover what works for you.
Personally, I'd say that if he seems happy and is producing enough wet nappies, then all's fine? But do watch the latch, as when their mouths are so small that's the bit that will cause you pain (or not, if right!). It took me a lot of perservering with Iz to get ours right every time - partly me not latching her on right, and partly her doing it slightly wrong!
i can't link to the forum stacks, but it's under the headings: talk/feed the world/breast and bottle feeding. you can maybe post and ask for tiktok who is a rl bf counsellor and there are quite a few other qualified ladies around too. I've got helpful answers for lots of stuff from when DS1 was tiny to when he stopped at 2.
it sounds like T is gaining weight well, so i guess the main prob is whether his possibly wrong latch hurts.
if you can find the bf info/advice page on here it has the numbers for the various helplines too.
we have a crawling baby here! R has just taken off all of a sudden and has been zooming about all afternoon. he started with a funny one legged motion, but seems to have cracked it now. he's currently exhausted and feeding asleep on my knee.
he's been sleeping 3-4 hours at a time for the first time, well ever really. he slept till after 9 the other day and i woke DS1 going in to peer into the cot.
it's only a week till DS1 starts nursery, really hope he likes it!
oh resolutions, none really but maybe try not to fight with DH so much...
I have a number of resolutions...go back on the diet; start exercising to lose the mummy tummy; clean more; keep up with current affairs; write a novel; budget, meal plan and save money...plus have more sex, which comes under the heading of being nicer to Dh.
Stacks, quite honestly if your nipples aren't sore and T is putting on weight well then I don't think there can be much wrong. What did the mw say about T's weight gain?
I agree stacks! That's a great weight gain and hv's can be very meddlesome! Yes, try to improve the latch if it hurts but personally I would never wake a baby to feed them! I believe in trusting your baby to know when it is hungry and trusting your body to meet the demands. Cluster feeding builds your supply and feeding to sleep is fine. Your DS was probably sick as had over fed. My DS 2 is massive for his age (hv coming to weigh him tomorrow so not sure re weight but he will be 17 weeks tomorrow and almost too big for the 6-9 month clothes he is currently wearing!) I have never woke him up to feed him and never used formula and never topped up with expressed milk. I have only just got to the stage where he needs to feed from both sides in one feed! And he only needs this for the last feed of the night (approx 8.15pm) and having had to express for him when he was being tube fed in hospital 4 weeks ago, I discovered I only produce 2 oz per boob at that time compared to around 4-5 oz per boob first thing in the morning so it's no wonder he needs both sides for his last feed! Especially being such a big baby!
Stacks I'd agree with what people have said here. Persevere with the latch, but if your boobs feel ok, don't keep on to the point of upsetting T. As long as he keeps gaining weight well, seems content and you're comfortable, I wouldn't worry. Especially I wouldn't offer both sides - like Musical said, I was told to return to the same side within an hour, then offer the other side. (Disclaimer: my mum fed us from both sides at each feed successfully, so do whichever you prefer. ) I think the advice the midwife gave you is for babies who aren't gaining weight and are too sleepy to feed properly, but it doesn't sound like T has a problem from what you describe. In fact, it sounds like you're doing brilliantly!
Musical about flu.
Jaggy yay for crawling and sleep! I think my DS may be a bum-shuffler who never gets crawling.
Resolutions: to spend at least 10 mins a day quality time with DH without TV or radio on.
bum. i knew I'd jinx it - monkey up again for a feed.
it's lucky he's cute and also clings on and snuggles in when i pick him out of the cot. it's kind of annoying as I'd leave him to chat a bit longer if he wasn't so loud while DS1 is sleeping! he wasn't upset this time, just flapping his arms about vigorously.
So our nanny has called to say she won't be in and as ive not been to work since mid Dec due to where Christmas fell, DH has taken the day off to look after the boys.
Is it bad that I'm wondering how the hell he'll get on as its the first time he has had the boys on his own all day?
nope! i was the same the day i went back to work!
Loopy how lovely to see you! I hope everything's going well?
Stacks I tend to be skeptical of HV advice, and much more inclined to follow my baby's guide. If there's no real problem to be solved (weight issues or a latch that hurts for the whole bfing session) then I'd just let my baby get on with it. I think very few people have a tiny baby that latches on perfectly every time - a latch that hurts a bit at the start but stops hurting very quickly is about as good as it gets I think. By the time you've put your baby on and off the nipple several times to make sure they have a perfect latch, you've probably made your nipple just as sore as if you'd just left them to it. The biggest latch improvements will only come when the baby is bigger and stronger, until then I think there's an element of just toughing it out. That's only my opinion though, and I'm not even particularly experienced (only 1 DC) let alone qualified. I would never wake a sleeping baby to offer a second breast though, unless you're trying to solve a specific problem like snacking or weight gain.
Musical so sorry to hear about illness in your household. I hope you're all better now? Poor you, poor Iz and esp your poor DH.
Jaggy WOOHOO for crawling!!!! Super exciting! That's a very thoughtful Christmas present Well done R!!
Hawthers I'm sure your DH and the boys will be fine, try not to worry too much
although I would be the same! Plus your DH will appreciate you a lot more by the end of the day
Over here I've decided to return home after all. Mostly because my parents need their flat back for work-related reasons (although they would have let me stay longer if needed). Instead I've said it's DH's turn to move out. He's supposed to be basing himself with relatives for the next 3 months or so, but he's dragging his heels about arranging anything. I'm really dreading going back to be honest. Being stuck in a house all day with only a really negative angry depressed person as company is ridiculously stressful, and I'm worried that DH will still spend most of his time at our house even if he's officially living elsewhere. Still, I'm trying to hang in there long enough for him to get some real help.
When If I end this marriage I want to know I gave him every chance.
Sorry to be a downer as usual! It's just we're moving back tomorrow so it's kind of preying on my mind.
This will be a rubbish post again as I'm pushing boys so one handed (oh for babies who nap in the blooming house!)
stacks, just to be really annoying, I'd say sit up and feed in the cradle position and get the latch right. Just because I struggled with B. I saw a lactation consultant 2or 3 times. I could get him on ok in cradle hold but not rugby ball but when they were tiny he and S both fed so often that feeding individually wasn't really an option and i could only feed one cradle one rugby ball when they were bigger. Even now, I could tell you which side I've fed B from as its less comfortable. It's not painful when I feed, and never was for the whole feed, but comparing him to S his latch is worse and it does make quite a big difference to me. Plus o know for a fact its B giving me recurrent blocked ducts/ mastitis. I wouldn't wake a sleeping baby to feed, I had to with B initially as he weighed less than 2.5kg and wasn't gaining (was threatened with readmission) but i never felt he fed well if i woke him, I found it hard to wake him (partly due to his jaundice which makes them sleepier) and then he'd be more sick than usual. In hindsight I wish I hadn't tried to wake him, I think he'd have been ok by himself. They were big cluster feeders though, and obviously my boys, despite growing like weeds and crossing multiple upward centiles, have never had more than one boob or formula. Incidentally the L C said not to feed more frequently than 2 hourly (mine were feeding hourly easily, building supply to feed two) as they'll be snacking and not hungry and it makes them more windy and feeds into the colic cycle. But when i rang back in tears to say it was going great feed spacing for S but not B she said not to torment myself and him and wait a while longer before feed spacing (which i was only doing to 2 hourly!) . Again with hindsight B was miserable and cows milk protein intolerant but hey...
So the point of the ramble is I'd persevere with the latch but not the waking, and not two boobs, and B for all the heartache has stacked way more weight on and overtaken his brother in height ( but who knows what they weigh!)
Will reply to everyone else later but arm ache with my pushing arm!!!
And in case it wasn't obvious stacks from 2 weeks old I has big 'colic' problems that was colic for S but cmpi for B. Hours and hours of screaming...
Stacks DD never had as much boob in her mouth as the pictures show. I only ever fed one boob at a time and half the time can't remember which one I did last so end up having a feel and then going with the one that feels firmest. I never had any pain feeding, no blocked ducts or anything and DD hasn't had any weight problems. I had lansinoh but only used it 2 or 3 times and then ended up giving it away as I didn't need it. This may of course just be pure coincidence but thought I'd add my experience in. Until DD grew too big I always fed her in the natural position, sat upright on my leg. No idea if this made a difference but it was the bf clinic at the hospital that showed me this position on day 3 because DD kept falling asleep too quickly on feeds
Scream I just wanted to wish you all the best for your return home. I can understand why you're worried. Is DH working atm? Because if so, at least he'll have to be out of the house sometimes. Has he had depression before? Is he getting any help? I'm not meaning to be nosy, just hoping that somehow he will get better and you will be happy together again. If that's what you want, of course.
Oh wow, you're all here! You dropped off my TIO and I didn't realise! Oops
We're doing well - DD2 is a chubby little
porker baby, bf is going well judging by the sheer volume of dirty nappies I'm dealing with and I'm getting sleep! Fx I don't jinx it with this post. And she smiled for the first time on Christmas Day, at 3 weeks old!
However, I seem to have a problem - oversupply. Anyone experience this, does it settle down? I started a thread in breastfeeding called Too much milk?, more detail on there.
Sorry for 'me,me,me' post - bfing and one handed typing, nort easy.
Back later to write a less selfish post...
PS Scream I hope tomorrow goes well. Sorry your DH is not-so-dear at the moment - I hope he gets some help and doesn't hang around upsetting you.
I had an oversupply. There were times I had to express a little at the start of a feed as my boobs were rock solid and too hard for DD to latch onto. They did settle down though
Going for a name change too as current one too obvious. If anyone cared to I'd be identified in a second although prob a bit late now!. Right back in a bit....
Ta da I'm back! Slightly random name I know but highly amusing as DS1 keeps shouting it instead of saying yahoo. Has kept me cheered all day whilst back at work.
stacks I'd say hvs advice is pretty much always
a pile of suite to be taken with a punch of salt. Def speak to a lactation consultant as they are specialists and really helped me.
smegs I believe block feeding is supposed to help oversupply. Have a look at the kellymom website for the gospel on bfing. Seems to he the best place and should have something in oversupply.
raaboonah I'm intrigued now as to how the old name was obvious?
Scream is DH dragging his heels because it's not what he wants, or is he on the same page as you? It must be very frustrating for you if he is unmotivated to seek help but also wants you to be together. Do you feel that all of the responsibility is on you as to whether you stay together or not? I might be barking up the wrong tree, I just feel for you because I can imagine how much stress you're under right now and I want you to know that you can come and rant away as much as you like ((((hugs))))
Hello Smegs I had an under supply both times so no advice I'm afraid.
Yay for crawling Jaggy. DD has mastered going backwards but just sort of rocks when she attempts to move forwards. I can't believe that in another 4 months you, me and Scream will have babies a year old
Does DS1 know that he's starting nursery next week? Has he been for any taster sessions?
DH went back to work today and I was visited by a friend which was lovely. A quick question...if you had PND do you think you would realise it yourself or do you thing you'd be oblivious? My friend mentioned it when I told her about how bad my anxiety is and it got me wondering. I don't think I've ever felt low enough to be what I imagine depression to feel like and I really think it is anxiety rather than depression, but would I actually know that?
Oh I completely forgot to say
HAPPY NEW YEAR BROOKERS. All the very best for 2013.
scarlet it was.basically a shortening of of maiden name that my DH calls me and so do a few others.
scream its tough and draining living with someone who is depressed. Is he getting treatment? Has he thought about anti depressants? Could it be a sort of pnd linked to his parents deaths? Sorry to ask such blunt questions. I'd be surprised if your marriage was unaffected by it and so still not great after he'd had some treatment. It is difficult to get the motivation to see someone when depressed. Does he know he isn't himself? Would he go to the gp with you?
Scarlet, I think your CBT counsellor might have picked it up if you had had PND. I do think that you would have to have felt utterly miserable, lethargic and unable to cope a lot of the time to have PND. DH has days when he just lies in bed/on the sofa in a pit of misery. It's a hard one, because obviously you did/do have terrible anxiety, which has some of the same symptoms. I think anxiety is actually a separate diagnosis to depression, although they all come from the same stable, ifyswim. Plus, being exhausted with a new baby and toddler gives some of the same symptoms too!
Scream, honey, thinking of you. I hope your DH a) moves out and b) gets some help. Is he not at work all day during the week? You and little A need to be in your own house. Is he so negative around A, or does she cheer him up? As you know, DH is struggling with depression too, and it is very hard going. I seem to spend all my life reminding him of his blessings (which probably doesn't help much, but I have to say something! And it's a bit better than saying 'buck up, sissypants' a la Big Bang). Still, he does play with M and laugh with her and stuff.
Like the new name, Rahboo!
Smegs, I had rock-solid boobs too, with my nipples kind of poking out at angles because the boobs were so full. It had settled down by 6 weeks, because I remember having a panic that I didn't have enough milk at that point (which was totally unfounded). <wishes boobs were still that full and not quite so deflated as they currently appear>
So, today I am alone! DH is at work and M is doing her first full day at nursery! It is weird. I slept all morning and am now drinking a vat of tea and eating toast. The state of the house is depressing, though - I have friends coming round tomorrow to first-foot me, so I need to do a lot of tidying and cleaning up.
I start back at work on Monday! [scared] I wish I felt less fat - I haven't dared weigh myself, but my waist is definitely thicker than it was. However, I can't start dieting until we've eaten our way through all the bread, potatoes and birthday cake in the house. I'm going to weigh myself on Saturday and restart the low-carb diet then. I wanted to be returning to work thin, lithe and toned - ha ha ha.
Scream, have been thinking of you all morning. Hope the move went/goes well, and that your DH moves out as he said he would. I hope he gives you and A the space you need, while also getting the help he needs, and generally plays his part as he should to make life as easy for you as it can be.
Too, eek at M being at nursery all day! Hope she has a wonderful day How lovely to have slept all morning - I'm sooo jealous. I know what you mean about the state of the house - mine looks ok at first glance, but it's mainly the banks of dust/cat hair mounting up in all the corners. Like on the skirting boards. Yick! Ooh Monday's so soon!
Scarlet, I agree with Too. Your HV would have helped notice too - did you have that visit where they assessed you for PND? They did it for me, when my mother was here. I have a bit of an anxiety issue with a few things - purely over daft things, like driving (I tend to overthink things, like hideous junctions en route). Because I answered one question in a way they weren't satisfied with I was grilled about it - and luckily my DM could back me up as she has the same kind of anxiety as me, and so it's all her fault!
Smegnog, no oversupply issues here so I can't help I'm afraid... but would expressing any help? When Iz was little I managed to express loads and stocked up the freezer. I find it much harder now, and the freezer's running low... not good.
Also like the new name raaboo, and Too's shortening of it!
Think we're slowly getting better here. Head is less cotton wool-y, although I still feel full of cold. Rather than waking every hour as she has for a few nights (waking up full of cold after each sleep cycle I think?) Iz did 2-3 hour stretches last night - not as good as she has, but getting better.
Over Christmas, DH and I made the decision that I wouldn't go back to my old teaching in London <wibble>. I now have to write a resignation letter <double wibble>. It's a shame as I really loved working for them I actually love work, and will really miss it. Once I've sent off the letter and all's been set in stone I might send off some CVs locally. If I work somewhere in the local ish vicinity (i.e. driving distance), I'll have to have a car, and can easily take Iz to nursery on the way - which wasn't an option with the London job (which was part of the problem, along with the distance). It feels good to have made a decision, but I'm going to wibble until it's all official I think!
Mat pay runs out this week too, which makes it even more scary!
On the plus side, I think Iz is finally learning how to get down from places when standing up without just crying for me! Not everything - only lower objects - but she's beginning to realise she can use her knees for it . Scream - she's never had the clinging-onto-a-toy with two hands issue - she's always been quite sensible by only using the one hand - just hadn't been able to figure out how to get down until now!
Sorry, there's so much I want to respond to but I don't have time to name check right now. Hopefully I'll come on again once little A is in bed (when she has a bed to get into...)
Just wanted to say that little A had her first settling in session at nursery today, and she seemed to love it!
Although for the first visit I stay in the room with her, so I think she thinks this is her new playgroup! While at nursery she stood up without pulling up on anything for the first time! Just pushed off the floor and stood up playing with a toy for a brief moment. It was very cute.
I'm now officially back home. Surrounded by a million boxes that I can't even bear to imagine unpacking.
DH is assembling my bed and the cot at the moment. He's sleeping in little A's room tonight and he assures me that he's moving into his Aunt's house tomorrow. What he doesn't know is that his Aunt has already told me he's only asked if he can stay there for the weekend, hardly the 3 months we agreed. His family can see how difficult he's being at the moment though, and they've been really sweet to me about it. His Aunt has said she will invite him to stay longer when he gets to her house tomorrow, so hopefully we'll get around the problem of him avoiding moving out that way. Sigh. I'm just feeling a bit exhausted / overwhelmed / emotional / stressed out at the moment, and I just want a couple of days to myself.
My family are coming round tomorrow to look after DD while I unpack, and my Dad's taking me to see Jack Reacher in the evening Who needs a husband?!
Argh scream, just argh
And and for you
Oh scream. That sounds so hard, your're being a parent to A and dh at the moment. Tiring. .
Yay for A liking nursery though and big wow to her standing up!
My A had her first proper alone settling in session at nursery today and she was brilliant. I am very proud! Tomorrow I have to drive though. Eek.
<waves to all>
Scream at least DH's family are being helpful. Hope little A sleeps well with daddy tonight. Wow for the standing!
Musical that sounds like a good decision re work. I hope something comes up locally so you can continue doing what you love, just closer to home.
Too hope you got the house sorted and enjoyed a bit of time to yourself!
Scarlet I'm not sure about PND / anxiety. Worth checking with a GP perhaps?
Been phoning round childminders today. Found a few with spaces. Got a few more to ring, but already arranged to meet 2 tomorrow. Eek! I've still got nearly 2 months before I return to work but I'm starting to worry about it already. Yuck.
struggling to catch up here in the terrible phone signal zone that is my parents house.
all my boys sleeping as usual. <rolls eyes> DS2 on my knee, he slept great the night before and was only up once, but was up a few times last night. <inserts matchsticks>
scream - just moving out for the weekend. . glad DH's aunt is helping.
scarlet DS1 knows about nursery and he's been for one short session with DH. his first day is just an hour and then he goes to his 2.5 hours. I'm not sure if he gets that we won't be there as well, but i don't want to labour that point too much Iyswim?
right. away to try and get DS2 into the travel cot Rm i can get a shower. i can hear DS1 waking up so he can have breakfast with my mum today
Eeek Too. Your return to work has come round quick. How many days are you going to be working?
I hope you're ok Scream? How was Jack Reacher? We'd like to go and see it but we just can't get past the fact that Tom Cruise is playing him. It's a bit like when Anne Hathaway ruined the part of Emma in One Day. DH really is quite cross about it.
Good luck for the driving today Pomme. How's it going over there? Are you settling in ok?
At least the decision has been made now musical and you don't have to worry about it any more. It sounds like the right thing to do and makes sense with the childcare arrangements.
Let us know how you get on with the childminders today Pet
I've made a decision re getting me back to my normal carefree self. I spend far too much time at home therefore I have too much time to worry about stuff. I'm exhausted from going to bed far way too late which cannot be helping with my anxiety. This is DH's fault, he's always been late coming to bed and I don't see the point in going before him because he makes so much noise when he does come to bed he wakes me up and then I can't get back to sleep.
So....I'm looking into doing either/or both some sort of exercise class in the evenings, some sort of night school class. I could do with increasing my energy levels and getting a qualification can't be a bad thing even if I'm just doing it for fun.
Hopefully I will then go into a deeper sleep when I do go to bed and not notice DH charging round the bedroom at midnight and I might get a bit more sleep. It will also give me something other than the kids health to focus on.
Now to decide what ...
Scarlet what a great idea! Hope you find something really good. Maybe an evening class you could walk to, thus getting exercise AND qualifications?! Or swimming might be a nice way to wind down? I'm with you on midnight being too late to go to bed - especially noisily.
Jaggy hope your having a lovely time with your parents.
Too how is M's sleep now? DS is still up every 1-3 hours. At 9 months.
Pomme how's it going? Hope you've finished unpacking and are feeling more settled already. Good luck with the driving!
Biscuits are you lurking or still super busy? We miss you!
Sounds interesting, Scarlet! If you exercise you'll get the endorphin boost, too, which will help with the anxiety. Of course, learning something and getting a qualification would also be good. <sits on fence> Have you got a list of courses you could take? What sort of thing are you interested in?
I'm going to be working 4 days, with Fridays off. Not looking forward to it!
apart from the bits where I get to drink my tea immediately after making it and not have to microwave it later because M got her finger stuck in the latch of the dishwasher and panicked
Eek, Pomme, driving in Italy sounds a bit scary - hope you get on ok! I've never driven in a foreign country - is it hard remembering to drive on the right?
Jaggy, Brooking that DS1's nursery session goes well!
M got on quite well yesterday, but hadn't settled well for her morning nap, so drank all the milk I had sent in then. That means I need to be sending in more, which will be hard work. I feel like my supply is dropping and expressing is taking longer. She only slept for 40 mins each nap, which isn't nearly as much as usual. She also howled getting her nappy changed 5 mins before DH arrived to pick her up - she'd been put down in a pile of toys, cheered up and started playing, DH walked in and she looked up at him and burst into tears! Think he was a bit gutted. She cheered up as soon as he picked her up, though.
Pet, Brooking that you find a great childminder!
Scream, how are things, my lovely? Hope DH stays at his aunt's for a lot longer than just the weekend!
Musical, does it feel good to have made a decision, even if you'll miss the London job? At least you'll get more time with Iz. She sounds like she's doing brilliantly, by the way!
Cross post, Pet - yy to missing Biscuits!
M's sleep is so much better. We carried on doing cc over Christmas after M was a nightmare on Christmas Day night - woke the whole house repeatedly, apart from my 11 yo brother who was in the next room! He slept through all the howling. So on Boxing Day I was resolute, M went down easily at 7.30ish but woke up at 10 and cried on and off for an hour, but then slept through to 7 in the morning. Since we got home she's been great at going to bed - goes down without crying, mostly, and sleeps for most of the night. Last night she woke up at 3.30 coughing and couldn't stop, so I fed her to soothe her throat, but she went down again no bother afterwards. Having said that, she then woke up at 5.30 and wouldn't go back to sleep, so it's not all jam! Still, she had basically slept from 6.45 pm to 5.30am, which is marvellous when you think where we were a couple of weeks ago.
Oh, and she also goes down for naps awake without crying now (at home). This morning she went down almost gratefully, didn't cry, crawled around the cot until she got comfy and finally fell asleep with her head at the bottom, on her tummy, one hand gripping the bars! She's still there now - I can hear her snoring over the monitor.
too - so normal that they cry when they see you. More likely than crying when being dropped off at this age in my experience (the crying at being dropped off seems to be a really lovely 18 month old phase..).
Good news on the sleep!!
Some news over in Conception
Ooh just peeked over but didn't want to post as not sure they know who I am and didn't want to intrude but woop woop for the lucky lady. Brooking from afar that it works out.
Have just weighed M on my bathroom scales and she's slipped back down the centiles. Last time I weighed her (at 8 months) she was on the 75th centile and now she's only on the 25th. Do you think I should take her to the HV? I did think she was looking longer and skinnier! Maybe I should get my sister to help me measure her height when she gets here. (Hello, come in, welcome, you came for lunch, but first, help me measure a wriggly baby because I am neurotic...) She has actually lost weight - down from 19 lbs to 16.75.
Are you using the same scales? Try weighing something you know the weight of and check that they are correct. Weigh the same thing 3 times in a row and check it comes up with the same weight each time
Bathroom scales only give a vague idea too, I tested mine when I weighed the boys and if I weigh me they don't alter with or without pajamas etc. When you think baby scales go to the . something of an oz its no comparison if you're comparing her to a proper baby scales weighing. Or was it the bathroom scales last time too?
The boys sleep is totally awful at the minute. S is teething though, definitely, got bottom two just starting to show properly. Don't know what's up with b, guessing maybe teeth too. Clearly it wouldn't be the right time to do cc but god, I'm so tired
Lovely to see you pomme update us when you get a chance!
scream hope you're holding up ok
scarlet, I'd do exercise as its meant to be helpful with endorphins etc
& I'm an ex-exercise addict, soon as I get some sleep im restarting . But either way your plan sounds great and very positive.
It was my bathroom scales both times. I hope they're accurate - I'm about to start weighing myself and dieting tomorrow
after I eat this bar of Toblerone. I was about to say that I might take M to the weigh-in clinic on a Thursday afternoon but I will be at work so I can't!
Dream, ouch with the teething/no sleep. I hope the teeth come through quickly and the twins' sleep settles down.
just popping in to say hi. life is v busy here, not sure where the time is going! ds back at school and dp back at work on mon so will have a good catch up then. bugger. got to go, roll on the quiet house on monday morning.
hey all. back home safe with my wi-fi connection.
i so can't be bothered going back to work on Monday...
will update at some random time of the night...
Oops, I dropped the laptop and the screen now has a funny green and black line on it. Maybe it will go away...
M sabotaged my attempt to will her back to sleep at 6.30 by producing an enormous nappy. So we've been up since then. She's scoffed a whole Weetabix and is now doing her impression of an Andrex puppy with a toilet roll. <ignores mess>
Too what centile has M been (roughly) tracking? Is she eating ok and getting plenty of milk? As long as she seems healthy I wouldn't worry much. Maybe take her to get weighed in a week or so if you're still concerned?
Hope the laptop recovers!
Welcome home, Jaggy ! <dances around the thread in an effort to distract Jaggy from the thought of work on Monday. Catches sight of self in mirror and stops abruptly.>
I liked the first childminder I saw yesterday. The second was ok but just starting up so not very experienced. When I asked what she'd do with DS all day she said she'd go out with the buggy. Great for a bit, I thought, but all day?! Got another one to see on Monday, then I'll make up my mind.
Dream hope the teeth appear pronto. I dreamed that DS produced 5 in one night. Clearly a wish-fulfilment dream! Teething is rubbish, isn't it? We've only had one bad bout (and still no teeth) but I'm dreading the next.
Teething is truly rubbish Pet. Iz's first bout lasted four months, and I think we're heading into round two... eek! Five in one night sounds remarkable though..
Welcome home Jaggy!
Too, echoing what the others are saying - if she seems healthy I wouldn't worry too much. Did I read somewhere that she's getting longer? Could it be partly because she's moving around more, which is burning more calories..? I found that with Iz... Glad M's sleep is doing so much better. You and Scream are such an advert for CC! And re the job - yes, it does feel nice to have made a decision. I stil feel a bit niggly about it though, even though it's clearly the right decision (and everyone agrees). How's the laptop?!
Dream, also hoping the teeth appear pronto.
scarlet, sounds like a fabulous idea! Which way are you thinking you'll sway? If it were me I'd go for the qualification, but I'm a learning junkie - soooo desperate to do my PhD in the near future, purely for the love of learning! If I won the lottery I think I'd spend forever studying...
Also missing Biscuits! Looking forward to hearing all your news too Ninja when life becomes less hectic.
Scream, I hope DH's aunt managed to persuade him to stay for longer? Hope all's going as well as possible...
Feeling shattered at the mo. I'm on antibiotics for my cold (sinusitis), and I think they've zonked me out - woke up twice in the chair in Iz's room while 'settling her to sleep' at points last night. Oops. Her sleep is back to being shocking - think it's teeth again judging by the way she's pulling at her ears.
Am flu ridden. DH has
man flu too. It's not pretty. Getting the jab next year for sure
Oh no raaboo. I'm just coming out the other side of it (on antibiotics - have never had to take them for cold/flu before - worst bout I've ever had). Take care of each other, and I hope it passes soon. DH and I have also said we'll have the jab next yr after how bad it's been this yr.
Oh no raaboo, nothing worse than 2 ill parents and 2 pre school age children... How did your dh find it the other day BTW?
S has tips of two teeth you Dan feel now. Still nothing for b, but just to make myself more miserable we've started the dairy challenge... Fingers crossed!
Eek, hollering from B, back to settling for me...
Why oh why is B such a pain at bedtime atm?! Dh having a lovely bath with DD while I baby battle...
Incidentally we had a lovely day today, went to soft play, had a calm family lunch (!!) went for a walk for babies to nap, everything went to plan, even tea time wasn't as
horrendous trying as usual when we got home. Huzzah
And Brooking for a quick return to health to you too musical and much less teeth faff this time.
<crosses fingers for teeth , dairy challenge and poorly Brookers>
sitting with DS2 while he attacks some apple wedges which he loves. i have a special Ikea device to core and wedge apples, it rocks.
not sure when we'll get these guys to bed. we were away to DN's
ridiculously over the top 3rd birthday party. 3 hour round trip so DS1 fell asleep on the way home and has eaten the chocolate out of his party bag.... DS1 totally didn't enjoy it and hardly saw his wee cousin while she ran about and was made to do stuff by a rubbish children's entertainer who couldn't sing for toffee.
just imagine i posted this about half an hour ago.
going by the wee red face we may be getting a high chair poo here...yay.
FFS that half an hour bit was meant to be at the bottom. i stuck my phone in my pocket and forgot to hit post. DS1 in bed and DS2 in sleeping bag. hope sleep occurs soon...
We keep getting high chair poos, Jaggy ! Have to suspend feeding while the straining is going on.
Actually DS is being a pain with food. He was happy being spoon-fed most stuff, then he was ill/teething over Christmas and off his food, and now it's like a switch has flicked and suddenly he's aware of different textures and doesn't like them . For example, a fortnight ago, he liked risotto. Now, not. He'll eat his breakfast weetabix off a spoon (thank goodness) but for lunch and supper he wants to do it himself. I've only had success with banana or Philadelphia on toast. Tried eggy bread - yuck. He'll eat banana and satsumas. What else can I feed him? He's rejected baked potato with Philadelphia, courgette sticks, cheese omelette, potato and pea fritters... We had some success with fish fingers and carrot batons, but I can't just feed him fish fingers and toast, can I?!
musical and raaboo I'm no brooking for a swift return to health chez vous.
Dream glad you enjoyed your day. Good luck with the dairy challenge...
pet, snap except total spoon refusal for S. He will only eat pasta and cheese sauce, so that is all I feed him for tea and he rarely eats hardly any breakfast or lunch (though he will have fruit and banana somtimes) and he doesn't hardly bf in the day, maybe once briefly, and he wants to feed all night ARGHHHHHH!!!! I've tried sweet potato wedges, cheese omelette (oh, just seen you said that), spaghetti bolognaise (won't even touch it), I do try flaking white fish and mixing it in his cheesy pasta, but not sure how much goes in, tuna mayo pasta, keep meaning to do something with lentils in effort to get iron and protein in him. And push him around in the buggy all day for the childminder?! WTAF? sounds like what my MIL would think is appropriate . IMO she should be taking him to some activities like playgroups, library bounce and rhyme things, to the playground for a swing- the kind of things a parent would do, surely, isn't that the point of using a childminder?!?!?! Glad you found one you think you like already, that's promising.
Incidentally he's just had his first wake up, has just about gone back down without a feed, but sounds a bit hoarse and was very cross. <sigh> I bet he's getting another cough/ cold bug. <please, please nooooooo>
*jaggy, think that's an amazing effort for you to turn up to a birthday party that involves a 3 hour round trip
don't know I would . Seriously, 3 year olds need entertaining?! and cringe for thre bad singing.
scarlet and biscuits, thanks for the talk of Homeland a while ago, I messed p at Christmas by buying it for dh but also totally forgetting I'd told mum we might like it... so dh got 2 copies but the point being, we're so hooked! It's great
but a bit scary for my usual tastes
Biscuits, where are you? We miss you! Have just noticed you've unfriended me on FB - hope you're okay. <worries>
Am knackered and shaking in every limb - just restarted the Shred. Owww.
M has finally, finally accepted a spoon for lumpy/savoury food, thank God.
Bloody BLW It means she'll now eat thick soup, mashed potato and, tonight, fish pie. Brooking that Pet's DS and Dream's S will follow suit soon! Advice from HV or no advice from HV, I might ignore BLW next time around and go with spoon-feeding - at least then you can get some food into them.
Dream, FX that the dairy experiment shows B to be okay with dairy now! And also Brooking that there is no more illness in the Dream household for the next 6 months at least. <stern face at universe>
Get well soon, Rahboo and Musical!
Musical, I hate the ear-pulling thing! Tonight I was cutting M's fingernails and toenails after her bath and she started really crying. I thought she was just protesting so carried on until I noticed blood on the hand I hadn't cut yet. She'd been pulling her ear and jabbed her nails into it so hard it was really bleeding, poor little mite. There was blood pooling inside her ear. I got quite a fright but when it was cleaned up it wasn't as bad as it looked.
The laptop has some extra blue/green lines across the screen, but seems to be working fine despite this.
The cc really did work here. It was absolutely horrific to begin with, but it has paid off so well. I guess I'm on the fence. I don't want to be going around saying 'do this, I did it and it was brilliant', because it might take some babies hours to accept it and fall asleep rather than M's 7 minutes. I suspect that if further babies are as bad sleepers as M at 9 months I'll be tempted to try it again, and I'll have DH/Mum/Dad/PIL/sister/Uncle Tom Cobbley and his grey mare all going 'do it, do it, it worked last time, what are you waiting for?' from about
3 6 months. I'll just have to hope that subsequent babies aren't as bad and the question doesn't arise.
Pet, glad you found a nice childminder!
Jaggy, am also looking at Monday with dread! I've managed to use that WundaWeb stuff to fix the hems on two of my work skirts by way of preparation so at least I've got some clothes to wear.
Jaggy that sounds a bit grim. You're a much nicer person than me, there's no way I'd do the preparation and stress of a 3 hour round trip for a 3 year old's birthday party. We did similar for a relative's 21st when DD was 3 months and that was bad enough but at least we didn't have to suffer a children's entertainer
just a load of drunken adults prodding and fighting to hold DD
Fingers crossed you've found a good childminder there Pet. I'd also be a bit by the one buggy walker one. You'd expect her to have some idea of activities locally.
Yay for another Homeland fan. Dream, DH and I have serious withdrawal symptoms now the second series has finished. The 3rd hasn't been filmed yet and Claire Danes has only just had her RL baby so we might be waiting a while. At the end of the 1st series we couldn't work out how they'd make a second. But now the second has finished we can't wait for the 3rd. Best thing on telly for years.
We do a mixture of feeding techniques with DD. Mainly spoon feeding because she's still so tiny and only puts teeny bits of weight on every couple of weeks. There'd be nothing of her if I left her to her own devices every time. She wasn't even 15lb the last time she was weighed almost 4 weeks ago. I'll take her next week and
pretend to listen to the waste of space HV see an improvement hopefully.
we don't see DN very often so didn't want to miss her birthday. DH is seriously getting more annoyed with his DB and SIL though. they are really superficial and hard work, also they will happily drive practically past our door and not let on that they're over our way. their hobbies seem to be champagne, fashionable things, socialising and ditching their daughter on the nearest grandparents.
i probably sound like a right bitch, but they really are our polar opposites. DH is just losing patience with them, whereas i try to grin and bear it to keep the peace. i really hoped having dc might bring DH and his brother closer, but it's had the opposite effect tbh!
on the subject of food, even though i tried spoons first, it's taken DS2 about 2 months to get properly interested in stuff on a spoon. he mostly survived on toast, nothing or bits of pasta.
ok and some baby biscuits So blw might not be the culprit - just a cheeky baby! he still prefers to self feed if given a choice.
Quick post to keep up with the lurking. T has been having some issues with wind the last couple of days, so a bit more challenging than his earlier eat/sleep behaviour. He currently sounds far easier than all the older LO's, though I thought newborn was meant to be the hardest stage for stress and sleep deprivation.
Oh my God, I go back to work tomorrow!
I've been trying to express for tomorrow and absolutely nothing is coming out. I've tried both pumps, the manual one and the electric one and nothing. What the hell is going on? <panics> I even tried putting M on one boob and pumping from the other but nothing came out.
Stress? Perhaps being stressed about it has not helped? Sorry that's really not helpful is it...
DH is all 'I'll just go and buy some formula tomorrow' while I mentally flagellate myself for not starting earlier. In fact, DH was all 'she doesn't need milk, I'll just feed her solids' until I pointed out that milk is her main source of fluid atm because she doesn't drink much water.
Sit and read a book and/or flick through baby photos on phone or computer. Check pump all connected ok. Do not panic! I am working early tomorrow and have failed to express.
Am feeding R now and flapping a bit.
First post from my new phone :-D
Thanks, Jaggy, will try that now I've calmed down a bit! FX...
Send him for some formula as back up too . Think of drinking hot tea, and breathe
I'm having a flap. I'm exhausted, s was a bit croupy last night, normally unflappable dh got worried, to the point of pounding upstairs and waking him up when his breathing was particularly bad. Clearly we then had a horrendous night. Today I've barely managed. Huge argument with dh (my fault for being irritable and horrible) . Poor s cannot sleep now. I'm stressing because the nanny has given her notice in on Friday, stating the job is too exhausting, she's "a zombie" on Saturday (she only comes Wed and Fri) plus her husband got a promotion so they don't need the money so much, plus she's doing some studying and says she doesn't have enough time for it (she's talked about he course before but never said she's got loads of work due or anything). I barely managed to not say try doing it all day every day while never sleeping more than two hours- if you're lucky. I've calmed down now but not looking forward to no help very soon.
Sorry, me me me
raaboo, how are you feeling?
Aw Dream that's totally rubbish. Can you look for another nanny? Is she stopping straight away? Really hope S is better and you get a decent chunk of sleep tonight <hopeful>.
Too any luck with the expressing? It's harder at this time of day, I think. But formula won't hurt her, so might be useful to have some as backup anyway. How old is M now? She'll soon be on cow's milk, won't she? Good luck with work tomorrow! <small wibble on Too's behalf>
Oh no Dream. Has she agreed to work some notice to give you a bit of time to look for someone else? Lol at her saying its exhausting. Er yeah, that's the reason you employed her! I hope you get a better night tonight. Poor S, is there anything they can take for croup or is it yet another virus?
I'm sure you'll be fine at work tomorrow Too. DD will also be fine. Definitely get some formula in as back up though, it's reassuring to have while you're not there even if you think you have left enough BM.
<waves to Stacks>
She's 4 weeks notice to work but with leave owing think she will be here 2 or 3 weeks tops. I don't know what we will do, it'll depend whether I get this career break too (they're interviewing on the 10th, so should know soon). Don't know if we will stump up again, or try and go for less hours... If i had Fri afternoon it'd be better, mornings are doable but DD dropped her nap but is such hard work in the afternoon, too tired to cope- you know the one. We're haemorraging money atm though.
S sounds less croupy tonight, we hope, and more generally miserable. If he got bad it is very treatable with steroids, so at least that's something.
Ah, back to the baby...
Am sure you'll be able to express some tomorrow am and tonight as well. Sorry for being deeply unhelpful earlier.
Still feeling totally rotten and the nanny isn't coming tom after I'd texted her on Fri, called on sat then she'd sent a humphy one back saying she would def be here tom. She's then sent a further text today at 2.30 saying she won't be here tom after all and can I switch my work days around. Anyone else think this is taking the piss a bit esp after last week when she sent a text at 18.30 on ny day to say she wouldn't be here the following morning? Her grandad was taken to hosp and unfort died last week so I really feel for her but Gah I need to have some notice to make other arrangements.
Yes, its incredibly irritating raaboo as how many jobs can you switch days at short notice?! No helpful advice though...
Fortunately I can do it without too much issue but it makes me look crap. And I can't even really be pissed off with her properly as a family member died!
dream I know you said you didn't fancy it but have you thought again about your dd going to nursery? Might she like it? Socialising and all that? Hmm on second thoughts you mentioned mega separation anxiety so prob not a plan. What about an a level student or uni student looking for a bit of extra work? Or a nursery worker looking for a few extra hours. We have teaching assistants from DS1's school who do afterschool nannying or babysitting for extra cash.
There's been a sneeze birth on the ante-natal thread. Very exciting news...
Hello everybody! Merry Christmas! Happy new year!
Sorry for being so idle, I have being so busy it is bonkers. Catch up on me; My coursework is limping along, my established bf group is going well ( outed myself... Nice one ;) ) we have 7 teeth, we have had a month of both children being ill and I almost expired due to sleep deprivation! Dd has a sleep regression going on, waking up twice a night and finding it hard to sleep. I am not sure about going back to work and may become a Saturday girl just so I am out of the house for a few hours a week.
Can u please add me to this fb group? It is about the only thing I keep up with Internet wise
I have missed you all tremendously! I will try and catch up I just wanted to post before life interfered
scream sorry to hear about your marriage troubles the first year can be so tough with a baby and that can cause problems, however it can also highlight issues too
Anyone give me an update on what has been going on? I ha e been away aggeees!
Purple, lovely to see you! I was talking about you only the other day- were your ears burning? If you message me your real name and/or a link to your FB profile I can add you?
Too, <wibble>ing for you. I find it hard to express in the evenings - or at all now. It does get easier the more regularly I do it though? M will be fine :-) And you'll express loads at work.!
roobaa (cant scroll back on the app to see if I've got that right!) That's rubbish :-( Tricky, too. I guess you've now given her some flexibility, so she should be as helpful as she can in return? difficult..
Dream, so rubbish about the Nanny. Hope you can find a suitable replacement. Crossing fingers for the interviews too - how soon will you hear? Fingers crossed you have a better night tonight...
Messaged you :O
I did see my mention and was a bit as it was all past tense *sniff *sniff however I will not claim to be a guru
I have caught up a bit, too get your galactagogues down you ;) if pumping with a pump, try 5 mins on each side and take a break when your frustrated.
roobaa I don't know who you are :/
dream maybe it is a sign that your dream nanny is just around the corner? What is this about interviews though?
Ah purple lovely to see you - have namechanged. Am an old regular with the oldest brooking baby who just turned one! Won't say my old nn as that would defeat the object of my change.
Feeling a bit better today but git a day with the dynamic duo so hopefully that won't cause a massive regression...
Oooh, hello Purple! So lovely to hear from you!
Am posting on phone from bus so will be short. Dream and Rah, oh no re nannies! Talk about leaving you in the lurch.
I got up early and expressed half a bottle. Came out without my pump in the end though - it needed washing and I was late and stressed. I'll scope out bf room today and take pump tomorrow. I do have breast pads in so hopefully will be ok.
stacks I would try and latch 'properly', it may sting for the First few seconds of the latch but the dimpled cheeks are a concern alongside a strong suck, I would be looking for a high arched/bubble palate if I was seeing you irl.
To help with the latch while attached, I wold be moving baby's lips if needed, so pulling the bottom one down and the top one so it was flanged out.
raaboonah I got ya 1 I can't believe, except I can when I realise H is nearly 10mo!
too great news on the expressing you can always hand express? If you become too uncomfortable
I have my first session of a core rehab course today as part of my physio and I am abit nervous :/ I have a busy day today and not much sleep so coffee is going to be needed! I need to buy some trousers to exercise in too :/
Hello. Posting while expressing as usual.
Already had coffee as i had a 6am start on <4 hours sleep. R is going to sleep so late just now. At least I'll be out of here at 2.
Hoping I'm not too hyper after coffee - I hardly ever drink it!
Lovely to see you purple !
Hope you and too have ok days.
Brooking for nanny troubles to be sorted asap.
I feel like it'll take a while to get used to this shiny new phone.
hurrah for ds being at school and dp being at work, life is slowly returning to normal
dream very sorry to hear about your nanny, I really hope things work out, sounds like a stressful few weeks ahead of waiting to see what happens. How's the dairy challenge going? Have you started it yet?
rah I would also be really pissed off with a nanny doing that (although as you say with a family member dying it's kind of difficult to be angry). I think it's very unprofessional to give such short notice. Surely the reason you have a nanny is because you don't have any alternative childcare?
Lovely to see you purple, sounds like you've been busy! I often find fb is easier to catch up on than here although have just downloaded the android talk app for mn so hopefully that will make it easier.
If he keeps being windy you could try infacol or similar stacks? It really helped with ds when he was little.
Has anyone else lost their child benefit with the recent changes? I had to fill in the online form yesterday so won't get it from now on It really is terrible the way they have decided to do it. Between me and dh we have an annual income of around £70k (60k of which dp earns) which sounds all well and good but we live in greater london and it really doesn't go far here. if I decided to put dd in the nursery that ds went to for 3 days a week when i go back to work it would cost around £900 a month which is more than i earn in a month. Why do a couple who earn 49k each manage to keep theirs and we lose ours? And why was there no london weighting? It makes me so angry.
Anyway, that aside, I need to organise a meeting with work to discuss my return hours/days and see if i can switch some to a saturday to save some money on childcare. rah can I ask what your nanny costs and what she does over and above what a childminder would do? I know you are not a million miles from me so guess the costs would be same here.
Must take the christmas tree down today and vacuum everywhere, dd is a snot bag so wants lots of attention. Maybe one day i will win the lottery <sigh>
We were sure we wouldn't get child benefit, but do. It's a really strange system, I don't get why they don't do it on combined income - it can't be that hard to work out surely?
Purple thanks. I've decided I need some help, but don't know where to turn to. There's a 'breast feeding group' tomorrow at our local Ikea, and a La Leche group on Friday. However I'm not sure they're there for helping with specific problems.
I'm not sure why, but the thought of phoning a helpline or getting someone to come to my house specially reduces me to tears. I think it's accepting I've failed, and blaming myself, thinking I'm lazy and this is all my fault.
I've let T 'get away with' a bad latch for most of his life now. So when I try and latch him properly he pulls back to his normal, incorrect, latch. I also can't do any of the holds properly except laying down with him, and again, because I've not tried with him much, he expects to lay down with me and fusses when I try other holds.
stacks you absolutely categorically have not failed. La leche should certainly be able to help, no idea about ikea group but worth trying out anyway if you can get there? face to face interaction with others doing the same thing as you may help get it in perspective a bit. Do you hsve a surestart near you? they will prob run a bf group too. Your hv should have a list of all local groups i think, could you give them a call? And i'm sure time and persistence will sort the latch problems out. Stick with it if you can. Your skewiff hormones are to blame for the tears and random feelings, we've all been there! have you been on the bf boards here?
Stacks, you're near me, aren't you? I could pop round if you like and see if I could help. What do you reckon? I'm by no means an expert but I could show you what I was taught. I'm free Friday - is that soon enough? I haven't been to the Ikea group but there's one in Mayfield which is very good. I'll send you the FB link. It's on alternate Mondays - think unfortunately it was on today though so 2 weeks until the next one.
Can't work out how to send links on my phone and FB is blocked from the work computers. Google Mayfield and District Breastfeeding Group and you should find it.
<goes all soppy at brookers looking out for each other>
How is today going too? Hope you're not uncomfortable.
<pokes boobs discreetly in open-plan office> Not too bad just now - they're sore from Shredding, if anything! Today is going slowly, mainly because there's nothing for me to do yet. DH gave M formula before her morning nap, grr, but he says she scoffed it all up and didn't want to let go of the bottle! He's saving the good stuff for her afternoon nap.
stacks you have not failed <stern look with a discreet shoulder squeeze as don't want to induce tears>
I've called (and cried on) the nct bf help line and the la leche league help line. They were both really helpful and I've also had a private lactation consultant around. With all our issues I still managed to bf to 8 months. If you want to bf then I'd give one a call and ask advice. If you cry, have a cry. They are so used to it with all the hormones going on and it is really stressful. You def haven't failed. Bf is really hard work. It's something that annoys me that isn't pointed out more. It can be really good though when both you and t have learned together.
Oh no! You've fallen off my TIO list! Just marking my place to come back when I have even a second to myself. Just insanely busy here, and still up to my eyeballs in bags and boxes that need to be unpacked into my already overflowing house!
Soooo glad to see Purple back though!!! Yippee!!!
Will post properly later (hopefully).
Too, hope your first day back is going ok, and that your boobs are surviving! I remember mine nearly exploded when I did my last KIT day (and that was with expressing half way through...)
Stacks, you most certainly haven't failed. As everyone else has said, BF is hard - especially in the early days, when both you and the baby are learning, and when the baby has a little mouth! I had a BF expert come out and see me, and then went to a BF group weekly - both were invaluable. I still struggled even after someone came to me as I'd not always corrected Iz's latch, but it's one of those things - some people can get away with non-perfect ones! T will learn if you keep correcting him, and getting support isn't a failure - it's ensuring you do as well as you possibly can for both of you.
...I wrote this hours ago and forgot about it, so will probably cross post times a thousand...
P.s. how much cardboard/paper can a baby eat in a day? Does it officially count as part of their diet? Or as BLW?
stacks, B still has an imperfect latch, he's a little whopper and I'm generally happy. The hormomes make you feel like that. Incidentally, I feel like I'm failing daily as I struggle so much to parent my children alone for any length of time and do anything other than firefight (nappies/ wipe up sick/ flick through book with DD/ more nappies/ clear up after meal/ try to prepare another). . I had TWO bf people round, a bf support network lady and a lactation consultant and they were feeding well and gaining weight well. Persevere with the other positions. B didn't like rugby ball, he just didn't, S was fine. B did learn to feed in it though. Yiou'll get there and you're doing great.
stacks your just getting started! No failures here! I would go to both groups and see, if you can, la leche will have a ll leader who will have bf training I am sure. There should be numbers you can call too to scope them out
Do you know about laid back breastfeeding? If not have a google of that and biological nurturing is another term for it. And then go have skin to skin in a relaxed environment see if you can get comfy feeding latch wise.
You have been doing great, milk is going into baby, you just need some tweaking to maximise it all.
scream it is nice to be back, I have been on the fb page too!
Purple welcome back! Great to hear from you!
Stacks do get more help if you can, and don't worry about crying. I sobbed over a range of people in the early days, and got just about every person who walked through my front door to check my latch. My boobs have never been seen by so many people before or since (thank goodness). You and T will get through this tricky bit in no time, and soon you'll look back and wonder what all the stress was about. <big squashy hug>
Stacks I couldn't feed DD any way other than lying down then one night I was moving her to lie down next to me and she managed to find my nipple before I planned her to(I was still sat up) and from then on thats how I have fed her. Like everyone else has said you'll get there and I think it does get easier as LO gets bigger.
<wonders where everyone is> This thread has been very quiet lately.
How's it going back at work Too?
Did you make it to the BF group at Ikea Stacks?
DD has been hilarious with DS today. I think the novelty of having a baby sister may wear off soon. She's been shuffling around the floor breaking up his jigsaw puzzles, chewing on the pieces, trying to slap his hands away when he tries to get the bits back. She's a feisty one and very determined to get what she wants. DS has impressed me with his patience so far but I could tell he was starting to get a bit cross by the way he was saying her name
Lego is now banned to his bedroom.
I still feel ill. Felt better for one day with the boys then back to work today and now feel like death warmed up. Uh oh.
I'm lurking, just knackered and a bit worried. I said to my dad how I didn't think its stressful as such with me and the children though i admit its exhausting, and he says it is both. So I asked my mum (divorced parents) and she agrees too! Feel a bit they all find it such a chore... It'd be better if the boys would nap in their cots, but then we'd be stuck- if they nap mid morning and mid afternoon, how would i take DD anywhere?! I know nursery for her is the 'easy' solution but with her lack of speech and severe separation anxiety I just don't think its right for her at this point. Argh!
Your DD sounds adorable scarlet, and that's amazing your ds didn't get cross with her. Mine would have snatched things back and pushed them over I reckon . Not that mine are crawling, but s can roll around the room, b not so good!
Rubbish raaboo, and i guess a sick day would look bad now? You poor thing.
I'm going to work for a training day tomorrow, three hours. Eek, first time I've left the boys more than an hour.
Am lurking too. This thread is very quiet at the mo. I blame Biscuits' absence! <calls> Biscuits where are youuuuu?
Oh, DS calling - gotta go.
Hello all! Bit mental here, manic ness and Abbie has decided to help out by sleeping badly. Hmm!
Sorry to hear about nanny dream. Maybe some other child care solution for dd? Childminder? Or maybe a nanny share but the nanny is just for her? Hope you get someone in to help though, you're doing amazingly. I quite often think of you when I'm having continuous breakdowns looking after just two!
Hope work going well too, house going well scream an illness going raaboo!
Sorry for the radio silence! Yes, where is Biscuits? Scarlet, have you seen her in RL recently?
Oooh, good luck tomorrow, Dream! What happened with your nanny - have you found anyone else?
Stacks, how are you getting on? Brooking in your general direction!
Oh no, Raa - Brooking for a speedy recovery! Go to bed as early as you can!
Scarlet, your two sound so cute!
Work is going ok. I have, however, decided to give up expressing. I'm a bit upset by this, but I was getting absolutely zilch from the electric pump and only a tiny bit from the hand pump yesterday night, despite one boob being incredibly full. It just didn't want to come out. I ended up hand expressing and making a huge mess of myself (luckily this was at home). I can't imagine doing it at work anywhere. So we have bought some formula and will send that to nursery with M. I'll still bf morning, night and during my 3-day weekend. I feel so annoyed with myself - why won't the bloody milk flow? I can't afford a Medela pump right now, so it's just going to have to be mixed feeding from now on. I'm going to invest in a Medela before my next baby, but I'm too broke to buy one now.
M seems to be getting on fine at nursery and was quite happy this evening. She seems so much stronger on her feet just in the last week or so - standing quite steadily for a few seconds before diving forwards or sideways. She's got a cold and is terribly snotty. She's woken up the last couple of mornings with snot all over her face. Lovely!
X post, Pomme - how are you getting on in Italy?
hello brookers, thought it was time I popped in. not really up to date with thread, but I see scream is going through a tough time. I hope you sort things out. separation/divorce is not fun, been there. but if it's come this far it sounds like you'll be happier in the long run.
dream, you are amazing but way too hard on yourself. I hope you can get a new nanny. I don't think I could cope with what you have to deal with.
too. hope your return to work is going well and don't worryabout the formula. when I went back to work after dd, she had formula in the dayand I BFd morning and night. it worked well for us anyway.
nice to be here with the grads! ds is doing well, almost back to birthweight now at 11 days old and is absolutely adorable of course.
apologies for typos and short post, am using my phone, but will try to stay in touch nonetheless.
Hmm I've got a migraine and DH is vomming. Not a happy household. [Sad]
Wah even my stupid sad face didn't work
Dream I agree with Gen, you are way too hard on yourself. Plus you have very high standards with regards what your DC should/should be doing, what is/isn't good for them. Your decisions and choices are yours to make and obviously your DC must be brought up the way you think best. There will be things you could possibly relax a bit on to make life easier for yourself and any other adults involved with helping you, such as doing away with the tv ban when things are desperate. Don't get me wrong, I admire that you've stuck to that rule and I'm in awe of what you achieve on a daily basis and that's just a quick example off the top of my head. But if my help was telling me it was stressful and exhausting for them I'd maybe set my expectations a little lower. Your situation is bound to be more stressful than most and it is only temporary, but temporary can be a long time. Maybe review some of the things that seem important? Such as the no tv, DD in childcare, no formula, have to go out somewhere every day with the DC (I'm sure there must be more) and see if there's anything that you'd be happy to change, if only temporary? ((((Hugs)))) I hope I've not upset you and there is absolutely no criticism meant by me suggesting this. There's loads of stuff I do which is less than ideal and loads of stuff I feel is important that I wouldn't consider budging on so I'm in no position to judge anyone else. I can only imagine how tough it must be for you, it'd just be so nice if there was any way to make it more enjoyable.
raah sounds hideous what type virus have you had? Flu type nasty or yucky vomming one? Grim either way. I hope you feel better soon.
Welcome over Gen. How's it going with DS? How's DD enjoying being a big sister? Your photos are gorgeous.
You've done a great job with the BF this far Too if you can't express, you can't express and needs must. Don't beat yourself up. Good to hear work is going ok. Biscuits and I are getting together tomorrow. I think she's been super busy lately.
Oh and I did have a laugh last night. My bed time reading was the thread where me, Scream, Dream and *Jaggy all got our BFPs within 3 days. It was such an exciting time and some of it was very amusing. Seems like such a long time ago....
Welcome Gen! The photos are gorgeous. You and Tock and Stasi and your newborn pictures are all making me broody again...
Too, completely agree with what everyone else is saying- don't beat yourself up! Mixed feeding has all the benefits of BF after all (I think I'm right in saying?!). I'm struggling to express now (though expressing as I type - doing much better than previous attempts), so I think if I were in your situation I'd probably be FF during the day too. Glad M is getting on fine!
Raa, are you feeling better yet? One of my friends from home caught a similar lurgi, and has just been hospitalised.
Scarlet, your DD and DS sound so sweet, and your DS sounds like he's very patient! I think one of my cats is beginning to lose it with Iz. He's still very very good with her, but now she insists on crawling over, shouting at him (her Cat Voice is very high, squeaky and loud!) and pulling his tail/ears/paws, I think he's losing his patience. That bed time reading sounds excellent - may have to dig it out myself!
Pomme, how're things?!
All good here, though still haven't written my resignation letter (oops). Have been doing lots of composing though (hurrah), so not all bad. Iz is being adoreable, though I'm pretty certain she's teething as she's gnawing everything again. Caught her trying to chomp the (glass) tv stand earlier! Best get to bed before she decides to wake up again...
dream i'm with scarlet in agreeing that it might help a little to relax some rules occasionally for sanitys sake. Playing devils advocate here but is there a possibility a good nursery and a good key worker could help dd with her speech and socialisation/ separation anxiety? As for the no tv, maybe a bit of cbeebies is ok, you could even then do some kind of activity based on what they've watched (appreciate this might work better with your dd than the dts due to age).
Welcome gen lovely to see you over here, your fb pics of ds are just gorgeous. How is dd taking to it all? DD is only 6 months old and I'm already feeling broody after seeing all the recent baby pics. Can't afford another baby at all but totally not ready to say i'm done!
I do hope you feel better soon raa. I know in the last week of term about 30 out of 90 kids were off due to illness! Have your nanny issues settled down?
<waves at everyone else>
I'm going to see a nursery next week thats near to work and may actually be affordable (ie its only marginally more than a childminder round here). It sounds nice, its capacity is 45 kids in total and its not full yet as it only opened about 9 months ago. Otherwise I will have to search out a childminder. Sigh. Childcare is sooooo expensive I'm looking at possibly having to split my hours to work on a weekend when I go back. Think I may enter the lottery tonight.
Thanks for the welcome! How exciting that Musical and Ninja are broody again! I was wondering the other day how long it would be before a brooker would TTC again!
Dream, I like Scarlet's suggestions about looking to change one or two things temporarily if it helps you. I hope you don't feel got at - I think it's clear we all think you do a fantastic job.
Things are going well with new DS thanks. DD is very happy to be a big sister and we haven't really had any jealousy. He is feeding well and sleeps between feeds, so we're coping ok! I'm lucky in that DH is going to be working from home (freelance) so he helps me with things like taking DD to play group at the moment while we get into some sort of routine. I'll take over the play group run from next week hopefully, but I want a buggy board first as its quite a long way to walk and DD often asks for a piggy back, which I can't do at the moment!
Stacks, hope you're getting some help with BFing. It really isn't a failure to have to ask for help. I think Musical had it right when she said about newborns having small mouths. Both DD and now DS didn't /don't have big enough mouths to take in all the boob they are supposed to. I find it helpful to grab my boob with my free hand and squeeze it a bit to help him get as much nipple in as he can. This is something a midwife showed me when DD was little and it really helped with the slightly sore latch she had. You will get the hang of it though, it's early days yet.
Hi generic! <waves excitedly> belated congratulations - I've lost track of the other booking threads and i have so far stuck to my RL only on Facebook and not joined the group.
I will add all the new postgrads to my ''mumsnet mates' thingy though so i can share
bore you with more photos on my profile.
I am sure I was able to stop expressing for day shifts for DS1 earlier than i thought so you might only need the formula for a wee while.
Am so tired today but not sure how to catch up on sleep! Pre dc i used to nap after 6am shifts...
<nips in briefly from work>
Gen, congratulations! I have dipped in and out of Fb at lunchtime on my phone - does his name start with an E or is that someone else?
<adds self to the broody list> Going back to work has made me start thinking about ttc again! Still no AF here, though, so we'll see. Also financially it might be a bit of a disaster. I'm still thinking ttc in Oct, though, if we can pay off the credit card by then and start saving for the next lot of mat leave!
Missing you ladies! Usually even when I'm too busy to post I still keep up with reading the thread, but at the mo I haven't even had time to lurk!
I do hope all is well in Italy Pomme, I hope all those trying sleep training are continuing to see great results (little A now sleeps through from 8pm to 9am each night, no wake ups, no crying, ), I hope all the mini No Brookers are well, I also hope all is well in the Dream household. I sooooo want to catch up on all Purple's news as well! Seriously missing Biscuits. Bah! Wretched RL getting in the way of my MN time!
Musical and Pet we should compare cat notes! Now that we're back home DD is finally taking an interest in our cats, and has started enthusiastically
whacking stroking them at every opportunity! They've been very patient with the abuse attention so far, but I think they're a little tired of it!
At DD's third nursery settling in appointment yday I left her with the key worker for the first time, for half an hour. It went really well, she barely noticed me leave and didn't even bother to stop playing when I returned
sob sob. It is becoming very apparent that the settling in sessions are more for the Mum than the baby! I found it really tough! <proffers wet fish to anyone who would care to slap me> I am glad she enjoys it though. Kiddie-free Fridays here I come!!
Please forgive my inadequate contribution to the thread in recent days, I'm hoping to get the house finished on Fri (when the annoying
DH is around) and then I won't be spending every spare second unpacking stuff! Until then I'm just No Brooking for everyone!
Hope you found a way to catch up with a cat nap Jaggy?
Biscuits, we miss you!
Too, I've been thinking about TTC again quite a lot. Especially when I thought I spotted EWCM the other day . It'll most likely be a financial nightmare whenever we choose to do it... but I was thinking end of the year too. Have yet to fully convince DH mind..! No chance of us saving much as we need a new boiler this yr, and it needs resiting which will cost a fortune. Rubbish...
Poorly Iz here today Seemed ok this morn, was v quiet at baby group, and is now hot and sad. Clingy and cuddly which makes a change - so I've had a very unproductive but lovely afternoon of cuddles. Hoping it's nothing serious as she's only just shaken off her cold...!
We are on cold no 3 for ds2 since November grr .
Nap fail so far. We have just driven out to get a Chinese takeaway and let DS2 get a sleep.
DS1 seemed fine at nursery drop off, but cried his eyes out for about half an hour when he realised DH was gone. Key worker tried to call DH but he was out and she got mobile number
wrong. He was ok by hometime though.
Oh no, Jaggy, poor DS1.
Will post more later but am about to go home, yay!
Mmmmmm Chinese! Jaggy you're putting bad thoughts in my head! I need to diet before I go back to work at the end of April or I'm going to have to buy a whole new work wardrobe, and not for a good reason!
Loving the broody talk! Musical I'm another one who thinks irrational baby thoughts every time my ewcm shows up! In my case it's a useless
DH causing the delay though, not money. Sigh.
Gotta go, I'm supposed to be getting lots of productive stuff done while my parents have DD!!
So i did my training course this morning and had three blissfully peaceful hours at work away from the dc . Three hours of the theory/laws behind paediatric manual handling though... practical next time, then hopefully that's it for another year.
You're probably all right. I have relaxed things a
lot bit in the last week and we do some dvd time in the afternoon now. Postman pat is getting a bit repetitive but DD insists! The big issue that stops me contemplating nursery is we live in a village. There is a nursery here, but i have heard very mixed reviews of it. I'd be happier if DD was talking and could tell me if she was happy and how things were. While it may help with her separation anxieties, I seriously doubt it'd have any impact on her speech. She's fine at interacting with other children and adults at playgroups we go to, so I'm not worried about that side of things, but the separation thing is a pita. However, to put her in for a morning and have to drive her to one would be a 20 min drive each way, boys would fall asleep in the car but I'd have to get both out to take her in, it'd be such a nap-destroying pain I don't think it'd work. Looking at maybe a mothers help, seen an add for one, who's 19 and only charging £5.50 an hour (due to no experience) as a possible temporary thing. We'll see!
S has been a bit croupy and now coughing a lot so Sleep Hell continues here. Is he the only Mini Brooker still sleeping really terribly?! B wakes twice for a feed though, so suppose he's not marvellous either. Sigh. Still hoping for a miracle, but couldn't sleep train with a poorly s anyway.
Rubbish, meant to post properly and reply to you but dh says dinner ready, later Brookers
Welcome, Gen ! glad to hear things are going well.
I can't win with this thread - either it's too quiet or there's so much to say I get behind and can't namecheck everyone. Sorry I'm so rubbish.
Too glad work and nursery are going fine. Sorry to hear about the expressing troubles, but I think once the babies are this old the vast majority of people use formula, and the babies are fine with it. It's a lot easier than expressing, too! I'm quite relieved that I don't have to express any more. Im going back to work when DS will be just 11 months and he'll have formula then for sure. I'm thinking of introducing extra FF during the day to see if I can fill him up so he feeds less at night. <vain hope>
Pomme hope A sorts the sleep out so you have one less thing to stress about. Are you happy with where you're living? Have you started work yet or are you still settling in?
I'll just post this then try to come back and write some more...
Dream DS's sleep is appalling. I think he feeds more at night than during the day. He is up sometimes every hour. Once I've gone to bed I just bring him in with us and every time he squawks I roll him onto my boob. I'm creating terrible habits but I can't face sleep training or going to him throughout the night, so co-sleeping and all-night feeding it is for us here. I'm still holding out a vain hope that once he gets some teeth he'll sleep better. <foolish>
One thought - could you leave the DTs in the car if they're asleep while you drop DD off somewhere? I sometimes leave DS for a bit. he doesn't usually wake up, especially if I leave a CD playing. Wish one could get a baby monitor for the car - I'd be more relaxed about letting him nap there without checking on him every minute!
R is mostly rubbish with the odd night of only one wake up to get my hopes up! Current problem is getting him to go to sleep at night. He falls asleep between 7 and 8 then pings to wide awake till 10 or 11. Hence my extreme tiredness. He's also been up at 1am and between 4and 5 which is when i am trying to get ready for work! I've been late every day this week.
Hmmm I see what you mean Dream about the drive to a nursery and how it might be more hassle than it's worth. FWIW my DS had speech delay (diagnosed by speech therapist) and I had the same concerns as you about not being able to say if he liked it or not. I decided to put him in playgroup from the age of 2 for 2 mornings a week without me even though he didn't talk at all. I figured that he'd still be able to let me know if he didn't want to go. It took a few times for him to get used to me not being there but he still goes to the same one now 4 times a week and he's now 4 and speaking almost perfectly. He loves it. I do believe it helped his speech and I do think it's because I wasn't there to make things easier for him and translate or speak on his behalf. Like you I'd done loads of different baby groups and classes with him, but I'd never left him until then. Maybe you could think about the local one and avoid the drive? If DD doesn't like it after a month then take her out? Separation anxiety is horrible though, I'm sure it must be hard for you as we'll as her. Weirdly enough DS and DD too so far will happily go to anyone
I'm looking forward to the next one of you guys going ahead and getting updiffed again. Who will be the first double brooker?
I made a mistake earlier and watched Tom Fletcher McFly's wedding speech on YouTube that people keep going on about. That bloody annoying song has been going round in my head all day ever since. I then showed a bit to DH and now he's pissed off with me because he's got it going round in his head too
Rats, can I not count as the first double brooker with the boys because I'm not allowed another baby?!
I could try that scarlet, I'd just hate prising her off me, she cried for 30 min asking for me today and was with beloved grandma, brothers and the nanny . It'd be traumatic for us both!!
pet, sorry to hear his sleep is so bad.
though slightly relieved
Wish I'd never said two hour sleeps were bad though, now he's waking constantly with this cough its much worse!
scream, you sound incredibly busy. So glad little A settling at nursery so well, she's a little star! Thinking of you
How blooming rude of your A too pomme to resume her bad nightly ways, in foreign lands and all. Hope it settles soon, dying for more details of it all. How's the international school for DD1 going?
Hope cough is gone soon dream
Can I get today's virtual wet fish slap. All worried about how DS1 will get on with his first full 2.5 hours of nursery I just hate to think of him crying again, even tough I think he'll have fun once he gets used to it.
Slightly better sleep last night - I was in bd for 10 30, R was up justbefore 2, then co slept till I got up just after 4. yawn. Then he got up at 4.50 when I wanted to eat breakfast....
Too, yes that's me with baby E. so exciting that you and Musical are thinking about TTC again! I won't be having any more now, but I shall live vicariously through the brookers!
Jaggy your early starts sound horrible but I'm glad you had a better night last night.
Pet, are you a namechanger? I can't work out whether I know you or not.
Dream, I would recommend trying a few sessions of nursery for DD too. My DD started at a playgroup (one where you leave them for the morning) when she was 2 and it helped a lot with her speech and confidence. She still goes now as we couldn't get her into the preschool. The mother's help sounds like a good option too and surely a 19 year old would have lots of energy to cope with the demands of three little ones!
Scarlet, I'm going to have to watch that now!
Scream I hope you are doing ok. You sound very upbeat although I gather you must be going through a tough time. Great re A's sleep! I'm already looking forward to getting more sleep, but I know it will be ages yet! E is pretty good though, he seems to be settling into a pattern of two wakings during the night, which I can cope with.
Ninja, I'm excited that you are broody too! Do you think you will go for number three then?
Hope Biscuits is ok.
Waiting for first health visitor visit this morning - oh joy!
I'll look into a playgroup option generic, and wow for only two night wakings, what a treat!
Poor B up with a terrible cough and sounding really hoarse and wheezy. Great, double ill babies. Zombies R Us here for dh and I.
I've got the hv tomorrow...
Oh Dream, I don't know how you do it. Hope they get better soon. I think I passed the HV visit!
Was just away updating my mumsnet mates thingy, but I reckon you are all down as your 'standard' names rather than festive ones so it might not be working for you all. If my boss doesn't appear soon I will try to add acouple of new photos.
Hey, sorry I went AWOL.
Thank you so much everyone for all the support and advice on the breastfeeding. I made it along to the group at ikea, which was pretty good really. I'm quite shy and found it hard to talk as we were the youngest baby there (everyone was very shocked/impressed I'd made it out with a 2w old) and everyone else seemed to know each other. The health visitor gave me some advice on latching and showed me a new position to try - T straddling my thigh, then lean back with him against my tummy and let him find his own latch. I think the latch might be better like that, but I think he's actually a bit small for it, he struggles to hold his head steady for a whole feed, so either twists my nipple round so he can rest, or collapses into the nipple where he can't breathe and has to come off.
Still, I came away feeling reassured, and managed some good feeds at home with the new latch. He's ok doing it during the day, but overnight we're still stuck with bad latching for now. LLL tomorrow and I'm hoping to get some advice on holds from there too.
T seems to be a really good sleeper, compared to the babies on the dec thread. Last night he slept from 10-2, 2:30-5 then 5:30-9:30. After chatting with health visitor and midwife yesterday I'm further reassured about breastfeeding - if he was starving he wouldn't be sleeping as well. He's up over his birthweight now too, 9lb 1oz at 2w, from 8lb 8oz at birth. So, my only real problem is my
extreme pain, and I can handle that if I have to. I admit though, I bought a bottle and a carton of formula yesterday too - an emergency escape plan to stop me feeling so trapped and helpless when struggling to feed in the middle of the night. I hope never to use it, but I think mentally it's quite important to have it there.
I need to go back and read, but from memory -
Dream as ever you are a super mum with a super tough, unrelenting job. I really hope the boys are better soon. The mums help sounds like a really good idea to me - I also like the idea of helping someone start out in a new career. If you're home at the same time as her there's not much risk in hiring her?
Scream hope things get let manic for you soon. Relationship breakdowns are so hard. My first marriage was a bit of a farce really, so not much I can advise on really (I ended up counselling him through depression over the end of his affair...). Just remember to keep looking after yourself, you're important, and you're you (and wonderful). You deserve to be happy.
Too I think we are near, I'm in Edinburgh close to ikea. I wouldn't want to put you out, but thank you very much for the offer of help. I may take you up on it if things don't improve, but for now I'm feeling more positive and in control. I'd be happy to meet up socially sometime though. I know precisely one person with a baby (well, 1yo) apart from my sister who's hundreds of miles away. Hoping the bf groups will help with that too, if I can get over the shyness.
Gen lovely to see you here.
T waking up... He's been napping on my chest which is lovely
but surprisingly uncomfortable after a while.
gen I would love to go for a third but realistically I'm not sure if it will happen (although I find that extremely hard to accept). I'm 38 now, just moved into a new house which needs considerable work so totally skint for a good few years. We'd need to wait till dd gets free hours at least to afford it plus 2 would have to share a room as we've only got 3 beds and cannot afford to convert the loft for about another 15 years! I can dream though (and slowly work on dp who is totally besotted with dd) . Glad to hear E is settling into the world well
Oh dream not more illness! mothers help sounds like a great idea as they can help do all sorts including the tidying/ meal prep and stuff that stops you spending 'quality' time (for want of a better phrase) with the kidlets. They could also take either dd out or the boys out when its nap time so you get some time with the boys without dd or with dd without the boys.
jaggy not sure how you get up so early.....I feel tired just reading about 4am.
Brookers I may need some hand holding although I really hope not. My dad had what he thought was a water infection over Christmas, anti bs didn't work so he went back to have blood tests etc. These came back with not such good results and he's off to hospital today for more tests to see if its prostate cancer . He's terrified even though he won't say so as it is what his father died of and his symptoms started in a very similar way. If he has tests today does anyone know how long it takes for results to come back? I'm guessing if they think it might be cancer they'd do it pretty quick right?
stacks glad to hear the bf group was good. If it's any help I have found over the years you need to go to groups at least 6-8 times to get to know people, so do persevere and you may make some really good long term friends. Hope the lll group is good too.
<holds Ninja's hand anyway> sorry to hear that - no idea about the test time sorry - but as a lab geek I guess it depends on what they are testing for - most things might be <24hrs, but things like bacteria cultures would be the things that take longer. FX it's quick and not the bad news he is woried about
I have no idea how I get up at 4 either - I am surviving on coffee (which I never normally drink) Irn Bru and entire packets of fruit pastilles.... mmmm sugar.
Have added the only decent photo I have managed to get recently of the two boys
I'll need to scroll through the thread and update my mumsnet mates for name changes when i get time - or you could all revert back to 'normal' names <hopeful>
stacks DS1 would love to live near you and too that's his favourite shop you mentioned .
I am also a bit broody for a tiny baby, but am slightly insane with just 2 so I think DH would be terrified I'd get worse. Also we don't have room for a 3rd - new house or car would be an issue. I am 34
nearly 35 so we may think about it again in a few years I guess.
thanks jaggy. On the subject of breakfast, get thee over to the product testing section and apply for the breakfast biscuit test!
Ninja when I was diagnosed with cancer it was about a week from test to surgery. That 'delay' was only for scans etc to see if things had spread and what the treatment plan would be. Also they had trouble getting in touch with me (house phone answer phone has been off). So from my experience things run quickly if anything is found. I can't remember how long it was before they told me initially, I think it was only a day or so.
Really, really hope everything turns out ok. Cancer is a terrifying prospect, I found I instantly associated it with a poor outcome, even though realistically treatment and outlooks are so, so much better now than they used to be. Brooking harder than you'd think possible for your dad, you, and your whole family!
Thanks stacks hopefully he'll know beginning of next week then. I can't imagine how awful you must have found the waiting. You're right it is a terrifying prospect and since he's in his 70's I have been very worried about the outcome. Fingers crossed he'll be ok.
Right I must have a quick shower then nip into town with dd to buy some birthday pressies and cards.
Have signed up for biscuits, hopefully they'll take pity on my 6am start + baby tale of woe.
Not you biscuits - just biscuits
Ninja, I was 'lucky' in that they weren't looking for cance, so I didn't know I was waiting for the results. Still, it was hard enough.
Stacks, I live near Gorebridge. I would love to meet you! I don't know anyone with a new baby either, not really. I met a few people at groups but never got to the point of ever going for coffee with anyone. Right now M will look enormous next to T, but they'll be in the same school year. How weird is that?
Ninja, Brooking really hard for your dad.
I had a big fat fail as a mother this morning. M woke up at 4, grizzled for a bit and then started crying. I got up, patted her, shushed her and went back to bed. She was quiet for maybe 5 mins, then started again. I was determined not to pick her up because I didn't want to wreck the sleep training effort. She was warm enough, no temperature and I couldn't smell any poo, and besides, she hardly ever fills her nappy at night. This went on until 5.40 when I finally gave in and picked her up - in that period she slept for short snatches of maybe 10-20 mins, grizzled, howled and generally expressed her discontent. As soon as I lifted her I could smell that she had a dirty nappy. She was so angry and tired and upset that she howled like a banshee and struggled while I changed it. By the time I'd finished feeding her it was time to get up for work. So I am knackered, but it's all my own fault because I didn't realise she was smelly and uncomfortable. Plus her poor little bottom was all red! [bad lazy mother emoticon]
Argh, not a temperature below 38 even after Calpol and two babies with croup. Luckily steroids are on board now so fingers crossed. Not sure what's causing dds high temperature.
Brooking for your dad ninja stressful waiting, I hope its not long, as stacks says maybe it'll be quicker than you think.
Dream croup sounds horrid. In 'Anne of Green Gables' it was a serious illness - presumably not with modern medicine? Hope the temps drop all round.
Gen I'm new - joined the thread when DS was a few weeks (or days? Can't remember) old. He's 9 months now.
Ninja my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer just after DS was born. She'd finished her treatment within 2 months, I think, and is hopefully clear now. No brooking that your dad is fine, or any illness is quickly and successfully dealt with. <hugs>
It's mostly not now but dh says for a minority it'll still be severe enough to need to be intubated and ventilated!! I loved Anne of Green Gables pet
Was the shortest diagnosis ever (though i did know what it was when I took him to the doctor's) - the doctor called his name, and as soon as we got near him he said "croup then?" . His breathing was pretty crap, poor little tike. And he said his larynx is very swollen. I've got the night dread now. dh has even said he'd consider ringing in sick if he had had too little sleep to make important decisions. That's major. He's not had a day off sick in 7 years!!!
Dream, sorry to hear of continued illness, but glad you have the good drugs now.
Pet, it's lovely to meet you!
Too, I have done the same when DD was little and I was doing sleep training. Don't feel bad, you didn't mean to leave her like that.
Ninja, I am brooking like mad for your dad. I'm no expert but I think the prognosis for prostate cancer is usually pretty good, although I hope it is not that of course.
Stacks, I'm glad you are getting some BF support and that's brilliant re T's weight gain! E was slightly shy of his birthweight at 10 days and will be weighed tomorrow, so I'm hoping he will be over it. He's still a bit jaundiced though, so I hope that clears up soon too.
kind of good news from my dad. doc thinks the antibiotics may have given a skewed blood test and enlarged his prostate so back for a wee test in a month and blood test in 7 weeks. bless him, he sounded so relieved. fingers crossed for the next couple of months to be ok.
dream hope you all manage some sleep and everyone is better soon
has anyone else seen an American series called fringe? we've been watching it and I'm totally getting addicted to it! total sci-fi nonsense but very watchable
Really hope that's all it's been ninja
Sci fi nonsense sounds right up our street...
Aaaagggh Dream poor you! Yes your DH definitely needs to take the day off sick if necessary. You cannot be doing the night shift for 3 poorly DC on your own and he cannot possibly do his job in the right frame of mind if he's been up all night. His absent record is pretty amazing considering his line of work. Our GP is off sick with viruses a lot.
What a relief Ninja. Have some to de-stress. Cancer has had a huge impact on us in our house and although it's not at the forefront anymore it's always in our minds. So pleased all looks to be ok.
The BFing sounds positive Stacks. Apart from the pain obviously. I meant to say the other day there's absolutely no way you've failed if there's a poor latch at 2 weeks old. Your DS is doing so well having out weight on already and a latch can take a while to perfect. I don't think my DD ever perfected it at all and she was still having BFs until she was 7 months. He'll learn if you're able to persevere and keep patience with it.
Scream I'm missing your regular posts I know you're busy but I hope you're ok and are getting plenty of RL support. Good to hear A is settling in well at nursery.
Jaggy how did DS1 get on today?
I'm No Brooking my very hardest for Ninja's Dad. I hope the wait is brief and it's not what you fear. <holds other hand>
Thanks for all the kind words about my current stresses. Sometimes it all feels a bit surreal to be honest, like it must be someone else's marriage falling apart, it can't be mine. So deluded I know. I was particularly comforted by Stacks though, and how happy you are now after coming through a difficult first marriage. Thank you for mentioning it, it reminds me that leaving
DH doesn't automatically mean I'll be single forever!
Also no brooking for the croupy members of the Dream household. You poor thing!! (((hugs))) When oh when will the universe give you a break?!?! I think you're owed a jackpot lottery win at this point! You're such an amazing Mum, don't forget that. You know what's best for your DC, so trust your instincts. Don't lose sight of your own needs at the same time though. Trying DD out at nursery should only happen if/when you think it's right, but your own sanity should be factored into the decision. It's not selfish to think of your own needs when deciding what's best for your family as a whole, I genuinely believe a happy Mum creates a happy home.
My next comment isn't meant for Dream specifically, I just want to say to the thread in general that I spent months avoiding cc because I wanted DD to feel safe and secure knowing that I would always come when she called. All that happened is she woke every hour and cried out to check I was around, she wasn't feeling safe and secure at all even though I would always come within seconds. After 3 weeks of cc I've now found that even if DD isn't tired when I put her to bed she doesn't cry. She will sit happily playing in her cot until I come to check on her 5 minutes later. She finally feels safe and secure, knowing that I will always be back shortly, and she'll be fine in the mean time. Although I say she now sleeps through, because she doesn't cry or fuss in the night anymore, it's obvious she must wake up occasionally because in the morning she'll be in a totally different part of the cot. Yesterday morning I found her lying on top of her open bedtime story book (a board book which I'd left at the opposite end of the cot). It looks as though she woke in the night, crawled over to her book, opened it up and fell asleep on it! All without crying or fussing, which I think shows confidence and being comfortable on her own. (It's also soooo cute that she tried to put herself back to sleep ). So I'm just saying that sometimes things can help in a way you never expected!
Can't remember anything else I wanted to respond to right now. Will hopefully come back on later.
Gah, I spent so long picking up and putting down that last post that I've x-posted with loads of people! Hurray for initial good news from Ninja's dad, I'm keeping up the no brooking for the just-in-case tests coming up though.
Also I meant to say that Too shouldn't feel guilty about M! It can be really hard to tell when a nappy needs changing. I keep waking DD up by starting to change her nappy only to discover it's just wind and I've pissed her off for no reason! (She shares her Mother's lack of patience with avoidable errors )
Can I add an extra pat on the back for Jaggy, Too and all other working No Brookers. Little A has had 10am appointments everyday this week, and I always seem to get us there late! I cannot imagine if she was still not sleeping, plus I had to be somewhere earlier than ten, PLUS I had to do actual work on arrival Sounds mind-boggling. I'm in trouble in May...
Oh yes! Just remembered - yay for Anne of Green Gables! That was my first thought on reading croup as well!
Stacks hurray for excellent weight gain!
Jaggy that pic of your gorgeous boys is INSANELY cute! So incredibly sweet!! <tries to contain the wave of broodiness>
Oh yeah, forgot to update about DS1. No tears today! He is so tired with the nursery at exactly his usual sleeping time though.
scream I do love that photo. DS1 doesn't sit still very often but was so excited about the new pyjamas that he did!
God dream I do not envy you croup x 2. Dd1 had several croup attacks between 8 months and 2 years and they were so scary. I'd sleep on the floor by her bed to listen to her breath and then wake her up when it was bad. One time she had a heart rate of 170 with it and retraction but steroids were magic and worked within the hour.
Here all ok. Manic and we are all shattered but girls and I off today and we have survived! I will try and update more later!
I get to finish early on a Friday scream I'd like to think I might get a nap when I get in as DS1 will be at nursery, but Ipredict I will be either feeding and playing with DS2 while DH does stuff, or tidying up myself.
Hoping DS1 is ok at nursery again today, also hoping we don't need the spare trousers! DH spotted he'd had an accident as he dropped him off and when we picked him up he'd had another, so had on spare jeans from nursery. He is a lot worse for accidents when he's tired so I thought he might struggle.
<brooks more for poor wee croupy twins>
I was on time for work today for the first time this week! <proud>
I have to stay awake for a 1 hour training session in a meeting room later though....
Where'd you all go? I'm doing my catch up while expressing and it's all gone quiet!
morning all, just back from the school run and having a .
pomme lovely to see you, hope all is well?
scream life sounds hectic for you too lovey. Glad to hear about A's sleeping but sorry re you and dh. You sound like a strong and together lady so if it does come to separation, you'll be an absolute catch for someone when you're ready.
How are things in the dream house today?
And biscuits if you're lurking we miss you, hope you are well.
Off into town in a bit to buy all the things i forgot yesterday then ds has a pizza express party tonight after school. I should really tidy and vacuum but can't be arsed.
B much better after the steroids. We slept with a baby each last night. DD seems much perkier this morning so fx all improving.
Off to look at jaggys photo
Right, I've chosen a childminder. Was close between 2. Hope I've made the right decision! One was Ofsted 'good' and had impressive paperwork. She was clearly educated and I liked her. But in the end I went for the Ofsed 'satisfactory', who I really liked, as DS will be with two 2 year olds (her daughter and a boy) during the day and hopefully enjoy their company. I fear there may be more TV and fewer books than I'd like, but I decided I could accept that. I think it will be good for DS to be part of a 'family' rather than the sole focus all day.
Dream glad your 3 are on the mend. Did DH call in sick?
Scream I appreciate your comments about A feeling more secure now she can self-settle. I am seriously considering CC. I'd like to wait until DS produces some teeth, just in case that's causing the disrupted sleep, but tbh if things aren't better by half term I'm going to have to try some sleep training cos I'll be back to work after that. And I think pu/pd might take forever and make DS cross and confused. Either way, his desire to be attached to my nipple all night is not good for either of us!
Jaggy how did DS1 get on today?
was just coming on with an update pet
DS1's key worker says he had a good day today. he played outside a lot (came home filthy! ) and spare trousers not required today, yay! he won't sit down for story time, but she's going to work on that and thinks he'll get the hang of it. today's snack was cereal so he was v happy. he is shattered so going to try and get him in bed by 6.30.
DS2 will no doubt try to stay up till 10 as usual. need to get him reprogrammed!
pet, well done on choosing a cm. Hard choices at the best of times. I saw the dreaded hv today. She says you can do any method of sleep training and it will work if you are consistent. She recommends the 'disappearing chair' and is sending me info. Basically you aim to not pick up and just reassure in the cot. She says croup will take at least 10 days to go fully, but after that I will try. Eek! I still can't face cc, and tbh after talking to her my skim reading of the baby whisperer was too skimmed I think , think we did too much comforting and you're not supposed to jig at all. I thought you could jig them to calm them down so long as you didn't jig them to sleep... Anyway, I will actually properly read up on a method and try it first, before turning to cc because I still can't bear the thought of them crying themselves to sleep . Plus it might just be him, I was (am) a poor sleeper and only slept through when i went to school, even 29 years ago my parents never made the decision to let me cry and I was up 2-3 times every night, so I know they'll sleep eventually, i just need to be patient. Though I will try to stop feeding.my mum claims she didn't feed me in the night from about this age... I think little A was a bit different too scream as she drinks in the day so not hungry and could and did self settle for others like when you dh and mum had her. S can at bedtime,sometimes, but that's it, and never been better.
DD sounding really hoarse tonight, please don't let her get croup... Nervous now you said your DD1 had had it older pomme, its so traumatic!!
Yay for him settling in so well at nursery jaggy! And he did well to have no accidents. So only cried that first day then?
2 weeks til my mum is on holiday and the nanny finishes. Double whammy. Oh joy.
dream I have used you as an experiment and added your name change version. Looks like I can have more than one version if a posters name on my mates list at thevsame time.
Sorry my typing is shit - the layout on my new phone is totally different!
Yes as far as I know just the first day. I explained to the nursery teacher after 2 accidents on thurs that we sometimes have to just take him for a wee, even if he claims not to need. Was nice that he managed ok today.
It is strange not knowing what he's been doing all afternoon, usually I can just find out from DH!
Yay jaggy I can see them now!! Totally gorgeous, I love those pj's
My boys were weighed today too- 19lb4 for s and 20lb2 for b, so he has overtaken his brother!
Right if I can stay awake I'll add some more. I'm in bed in my pjs hoping to catch up on some sleep if DS 2 ever does.
Wow Dream - great weights! And DD will not get croup. We are definitely brooking no argument with that.
Glad to know there's other Green Gables fans here! I re-read the entire series recently (on my phone - 50p download) while holding a napping DS.
I really don't know what to think about different sleep training methods. Need to read up on cc a bit anyway. But I don't think I'll have the patience or stamina for pu/pd all night, and I can't help thinking that if I'm there, DS won't understand why I'm not feeding him, and will cry harder to try to get me to do so. At least if I'm just popping in he won't think I'm somehow tantalising him! (Not that I was planning to hang over the cot with my boobs out, obviously - you know what I mean. )
Jaggy yay for no accidents or tears! Gorgeous pyjama pic too!
Hello still here lurking. Have had a terrible lurgy which has just gone on and on. Think I've slept for 30 hours out of the last 48 due to DH taking night shifts then my m and d doing an emergency dash over yesterday plus we had the nanny today. Finally feeling a little better today
ignoring the fact I felt fine on Monday and had a massive relapse later in the week Think it was fly closely followed by norovirus. Nice.
dream I think all sleep training works but the more hardcore approaches work quicker. Good luck with whatever you choose. Croup sounds hideous. One of the lo on the Dec 11 thread has just come down with it and another mum has been diagnosed with whooping cough. Frightening.
jaggy I can't see your photos. Add me please! Glad your DS1 has settled in ok. They adjust so quickly and even if they cry at drop off they are usually fine as soon as you've left.
scream oh my dear. I'm thinking of you lots and hope you are ok throughout all the upheaval of going home.
ninja brooking for your dad. It's amazing how the prognosis has improved from not too long ago.
Right got to dash dinner ready bit back later as I'm sure I've forgotten loads
Just had a nose at the pictures Jaggy, they're gorgeous! Love the PJs too
Ninja, brooking for your dad - glad you had kind of good news - and glad he's feeing better about it!
Scream, thinking about you lots lovely.
Pet, congratulations on choosing a childminder! How many days a week will you be working? I like the idea of a family setting too - if Iz ends up with a childminder I think I'd pick the same. I like the idea of learning social skills etc while there - so at least she'd be benefitting in some way when I couldn't be looking after her iykwim!
Dream, fabulous weights! Brooking lots for your DD not to get it - you deserve some good luck. Please let us know more about the disappearing chair method!
In terms of sleep training: Iz was doing much much better for a few days in between cold and teething, but has now gone downhill because of the teething. I often leave her to cry a little bit before going in (can tell if it's really distressed crying as apposed to just-trying-to-resettle crying), and sometimes she goes back to sleep - but it's happening less now she's teething again. Sigh. I'm going to cut back the feeds again, but the last two nights have been so bad I've had her in with us a lot of the night, as it's been the only way to keep her calmer and happier. That said, in between cold and teething, and before she got the cold, she was sleeping a lot better... so I'm hoping it is all teeth related, and once the next one's popped through she'll be happier again.
Also a huge Anne of Green Gables fan. I have the whole set at my parents' somewhere, but I bet it's hidden in the loft... may have to look it up on Kindle with the vouchers I got for Christmas .
Right, time to get arranging some music.... must stop avoiding it
Great weights Dream. B is the same weight as N
N had her 7-9 month review yesterday. All fine apart from her sleeping, I've been advised to do cc and nearly said that some of my brooking ladies have had great success with it. As there is a tooth just starting to come through I'm going to wait until after it comes through properly to start and then fingers crossed I'll get more than the current 3-4 hours sleep a night.
Raaboonah brooking that your illness goes away completely overnight
Hey all. Things starting to settle here. Ds2 bronchiolitis came back but we avoided hospital this time. His cough is finally easing and he slept from 7.35 pm to 5.40 am, fed then slept till 9.22am so hoping his sleep will soon be back to normal.
Hv weighed him last weds and although he is big I didn't realise just how big till I read the weights some of you mentioned above. He was exactly 17 weeks when she weighed him and he was 18lb 2oz! That was 9 days ago, so probably close to 19lb now! Is big all over, big head, big body, very long, and is just about ready to move into 9-12 month clothes as his legs and neck to crotch length are so long!
Re brokers ttc again, I'd like to next jan as an oct birthday would slot in nicely (although must be v slim odds of falling pregnant first month of trying 3 times and would be happy with a nov/dec b' day just as much )
Re cc never done it myself. Ds1 has v bad reflux and would empty his stomach within 30 seconds of crying if we ever tried to leave him. Had to either put him down asleep or sit and hold his hand or have a hand on his chest or rock him on his mattress to get him to settle. As he got older we used a Winnie the Pooh projector. Eventually he started to self settle again (used to do it when v small) and he has used teddy rags for a long time to help him get to sleep. Hoping ds2 doesn't lose his ability to self settle as he is so good at the moment!
Rubber - there's a 7-9 month review?! Haven't had that - haven't heard anything from the HVs! Then again, I've been avoiding the HVs like the plague after hearing so many bad things about them here. I know Iz is growing and putting on weight, so haven't bothered...
Also, I've heard that a lot of HVs are told to recommend CC. I'm not holding that against them, but apparently ALL the ones my mum friends here have seen were told it - as if on script. One was told that if they Calpoled up their unhappy teething baby they should still do CC... which my friend was outraged at! I think there are lots of options and lots can work, and it's all down to the right one for the right family and the right baby - but pushy HVs annoy me. Which is why I haven't been to see one for ages. I expect to get told off when I do eventually go!
Loopy, I was thinking Dec/Jan time for ttc . Would probably take us some time again though. Also need to convince DH - he wants another, but isn't sure about a 2/2.5yr age gap, although I think that would be nice. Probably because I have that with my brother, but him and his sister have nearer a 3.5 gap. Anyway, as I keep pointing out to him, it might take us some time again...
Also glad to hear DS is a bit better, though sorry the bronchitus returned
Done raa only one new one added since months ago though.
Am still catching up on the thread but I also love Anne of Green Gables! Wanted to say that you can get them free from www.gutenberg.org and www.gutenberg.net.au. For some reason Anne of Windy Poplars and Anne's House of Dreams are only available from the Australian site, but that site also has all the other LM Montgomery books such as the Emily of New Moon series and Pat of Silver Bush plus lots of stand-alone titles that I'd never heard of before I found that site.
I have all my Anne and Emily books (think I nearly had the series) in a safe place at my parents house too. Compulsory reading for my girls, along with Little Women!
I also loved the chalet school books and had lots but I leant them to someone and never got them back. They're now out of print!!
The Chalet School! Little Women! Pomme we are literary soul mates! I have a super old (early 20th century) copy of Heidi, that I still read every couple of years. Love it.
There's a 7 - 9 month review?!?! I hadn't heard anything about that!?!
That could be because we only went to the hv twice, the last visit Autumn was less than 16 weeks old I believe.
Pomme, I am a massive Chalet School geek and have electronic transcripts of some of them if you want. Also, Girls Gone By are republishing them slowly and you can find them on Amazon. They cost around £10-12 each, mind, but they are unabridged, unlike the Armada editions I had as a kid.
The hv can advise whatever they want but they're just a nurse with scales, it doesn't mean its the right thing!! Mine did specifically say it doesn't have to be cc, any 'behaviour modification' method is fine. Yes, there's meant to be a 9 ish month review and a 2 year ish review. Hv has done the boys 9 month one but didn't even ask about DD, though DD wanted to be weighed too as she'd watched the boys so she did her weight. Think DD was disappointed not to lie in it just like her brothers, she had to stand on it with the baby bit off of course!!
Had an afternoon off today, been bollywood dancing in Manchester for a friends hen do. Was so good to have a break!! Good fun too.
I've seen about the 7-9month review in the red book. I see HV at a baby group but don't have to have anything to do with her if I don't want to. Apart from that haven't seen my HV at home since DD 10 days old cause they kept sending the bank one who I decided I didn't like and she had a definite sense of humour failure!
The bollywood dancing always looks good fun
Ooooo Too pretty please can I have a copy of the transcripts please?! I'll pm you my email address if you don't mind?
Thanks for the HV info ladies! I'll call my HV on Monday, seeing as DD is 9 months old at the end of the month. I'm curious about her weight and height anyway, mainly because she eats soooooo much but still seems pretty skinny for a baby. She's 18.5lbs according to my home scales, but those aren't particularly reliable.
So glad Dream had a lovely afternoon off!
Omg we should have a private lending library just for us! Too I was looking for electronic versions of the Emily books - thanks! And I love Heidi! And what about The Little Princess and Eight Cousins? So many happy memories.
Raa you poor thing. Hope you're truly on the mend now.
Dream glad you had a good time. Clearly a few hours off duty was just what the doctor ordered. Though possibly your own doctor might not have enjoyed it so much, since presumably he was on duty?
Musical I'll be working 3 days. Hope Iz's sleeping improves again pronto.
I've never read
or heard of Anne of Green Gables. I'm intrigued now though and will look it up.
T is having his first proper night if misbehaving, and I'm not coping well
Aw Stacks , hope you're both asleep now. If need be, hand T to DH for a bit and walk away. You'll get through this, and hopefully catch up on some sleep tomorrow. 'Anne' is a
famous children's book. Enjoy!
DS slept in his own bed until 2am! With one resettle after bed at 7.30! But he is now very unsettled so calpol has been administered. Am feeding for the third time since 2 and hoping to get him back into his own bed shortly.
Transfer fail. And the cat has just been sick on my best rug and again by my feet. Yuck.
T slept from 3:15-5:30, then 6-7:30. Now refusing to sleep again after feeding. He's not crying, and wasn't last night, just huffing and puffing and kicking his wee legs around. I would have liked a morning nap, but DH is sleeping. He got a bit more sleep than me last night, but not much I guess.
Hope others had a good night. Did you get DS back into his bed in the end Pet?
Of course, Scream, PM me your email address and I'll whack them over.
Pet, yay for DS sleeping in his own bed until 2, but oh no to transfer fail and cat sick. Eight Cousins and A Little Princess are also on the Project Gutenberg website - enjoy! Have you read Rose In Bloom, the sequel to Eight Cousins?
Stacks, I'm sure you coped beautifully! What was T doing?
Dream, Bollywood dancing sounds like fun!
M has a really bad cough. She coughed and coughed and coughed last night - didn't cry, but I got up to feed her anyway because she sounded so bad. DH is going to take her to the doctor tomorrow morning just to be sure she's ok.
T just won't sleep. He's obviously exhausted, but since about 5pm yesterday he'll not sleep more than a minute or two really (he did have a longer nap on me last night, maybe 9-11, but with lots of waking up through it, so I couldn't take him off my chest). He'll feed when put to the breast, but isn't really giving many feeding cues, he may feed to 'sleep' or just feed till he pulls off and stares into space.
I can cuddle or jiggle him to sleep, but then he just wakes up again. No jumping or crying or windy looking behaviour - he just gently opens his eyes and yawns and is awake again. He's been laying between us now in bed sleeping for the last 30 minutes, however in that time he's woken up 4 times, stated into space, then closed his eyes again.
It's not really bad behaviour (especially just now as he's not needing any jiggling) but I just don't get what's wrong. He and I are both so tired, what's so bad about sleeping? He did sleep properly a little last night, but not his usual 3.5hr blocks (I realise I've been spoilt by his previous good sleeping behaviour). I just don't think he's had enough to be happy himself.
I am really quite in the huff here as I'm sure I can feel AF coming on. I think I've had an extra month off compared to after DS1 but was hoping for even longer!
Sorry for me me me bit there.
stacks he may be having a bad few nights, a growth spurt, a developmental leap, who knows. My money is on him settling back into his 3.5 hours by himself soon .
On the subject of sleep, I cannot get mine to sleep, I just can't. They're coughing their guts out but 4 wake ups each, s up from 5:30am, s was in bed with us anyway. He's cot refusing from about midnight. It's terrible here!! Nothing to be done til they're well but survive...
jaggy, very unfair, bog off evil witch,she's pumping and night feeding doncha know?!
No Brooking hard for all the poorly LOs! Dream I hope your DC all get better asap! They've had such bad luck (and you!) they have more than earned some extended healthy time! I hope M is okay tonight Too? Anymore coughing?
Stacks I hope you and little T managed to get a good nap today in the end? How's tonight going?
Pet fingers crossed for DS to repeat his excellent sleeping until 2 again tonight, and then follow it up by sleeping on until 8!! Ewwww to the cat sick! Gotta love 'em!
Little A has a cold as well now. She woke up once last night, after having a massive coughing fit. She's been coughing and sneezing today, but it's her super grotty nose that I'm worried will keep her up tonight. She's also just had one new tooth arrive with two more clearly close to bursting through. Poor LO. Despite all this she's been in good spirits all day, and she went down well tonight. If she does wake in the night though I might give her calpol, just because even without a temperature I can't imagine that she's feeling great right now.
I expect this is just the first of many bugs she'll be bringing home from nursery though, so I've just started her on a baby multi-vit to boost her vit c intake. I know there's vit c in her formula, but because she's allergic to strawberries and lots of other fruit at the moment I just want to up her vit c levels in other ways. When she has more teeth she'll be able to eat orange segments properly, but without her top front teeth she's really been struggling with oranges. She's so fond of water that I'm loathe to introduce fruit juice yet, I'm pretty certain once she gets into fruit juice it'll be a battle to get her to drink water again!
Many thanks to Too! I've sent you my email address!
Hi everyone. First wake up of the night, after a 10:30 feed, T has fed and is now asleep... Just need a successful transfer. So far, so good for tonight though.
So sorry to hear about more (and continued) illnesses. I realised last night that me taking T along to these breastfeeding groups is exposing him and me to illnesses quite early in his life. So far no colds caught, but how long can you hang out with babies before you catch something??
I feel I should name check, but I'm too tired to remember everything I read now. I'll be a better Brooker tomorrow.
Second wake up, second feed success - second transfer success??
Not long IME stacks !! My poor babies started playgroups with DD young, 2 weeks, and are constantly ill. However, I found people take snotty, grotty, coughing toddlers to groups but usually not babies, DD was rarely ill til age 1 when her nap patterns meant we started making more groups
Oops, posted early... So i think baby groups are a safer bet.
Bloody awful night here, and at 6:30 I let s roll and fall out of bed. He made a huge 'bump' and was mighty p'ed off and howled. Oh, the guilt!!!!
Pretty bad night here, as well. It started brilliantly cos DS managed three 2-hour stretches of sleep (rubbish really but so much better than he has been) before joining us at midnight. Unfortunately he was running a temperature and after calpol at 3am I couldn't get him back to sleep till 4.30. I got him into his own bed at 5, then he rejoined us at 5.50 and was up for the day at 6.50. Am a bit tired but DH brought me tea so could be worse! Wondering whether to get washed, dressed and do an early dog-walk, or stay in pyjamas and try to get DS back in bed in an hour or so, then nap with him.
Dream you poor thing. I'm sure S was fine (these babies seem amazingly resilient once the surprise has worn off) but neither of you needed that in the night!
Stacks glad things are improving again. I think DS got his first cold at around 10-12 weeks after I took him to London (from Yorkshire) on public transport and stayed with my parents for a week. After that he picked up a few from rolling around with friends' babies and sucking their toys, but nothing really bad till 6 months. Then we got the Olbas oil, Karvol vaporiser, Vicks etc.
Jaggy was it a false alarm or the real thing?
Scream hope A is feeling better this morning. Btw DS has no teeth but loves satsuma segments. Sometimes I bite them in half before giving them to him, but he can cope with small ones whole. Not sure if they're heavy on bit C but might be worth a try.
B also running a temp, nothing too bad, 38.3 ish all night but he was waking every 15-20 minutes for large parts of it, very distressed, then dozing off again. S actually slept 10:30-1:45, down at 2 ish but up 4:30, then constant resettling (in bed with me with b in bed with dh) til 6:30 and waking for the day/ falling out. Perils of an unfamiliar single bed too maybe? DD woke 3 times, twice woken by s or b I think. I'm tired too.
I bite as much pith and skin off satsumas as i can!!
Speaking of temperatures, do people use in-ear thermometers? If so, any recommended brand? I haven't taken DS's temperature this time because he's not too distressed but I can tell he has one iykwim. Last time he had a high temp I used one under his arm but apparently that's not very accurate.
Speaking of recommendations, what about car seats? We've got a maxi-cosi which DS will be in for a few more months, but after that, what do you all use? I'm happy for him to go forward-facing and wondered about one which swivels to face the car door so you can put them in easily, but it's expensive. Any features that people with older babies / children find useful? Is it a good idea to get a seat that can be altered to last till they're 12, or keep changing seats every few years? Thanks in advance for your wisdom!
Dream for the poorly babies and tired parents. Sending virtual for you.
False alarm so far....
We had the maxi cosi cabriofix with base and then got the priorifix as we like the isofix.
I managed to fit DS1 in the 0+ seat till he was a couple of months past 1 I think. R is a lot bigger. I didn't think we had enough room for a group 2 rear facing one but we could fit it in the current car. I can't afford to get them one each though. DS1 might be big enough for a group 2 one by the time DS2 needs to move up.
Oops the cleaner just knocked on the door and I was so busy posting I didn't notice till she started ti open the lock. I totally flapped and shouted "THE ROOM IS IN USE CURRENTLY" I think I accidentally sounded grumpy. This room is huge and I couldn't run across to answer the door with a pump on my boob .
I meant group one rear facing. Duh .
R will get the priorifix I think and we'll get DS1 a new one sometime this year. DS1 is really quite little though. I think the group 1 goes up to 18kg and minimum for group 2 is 15? He is less than 15kg now anyway, so he might have to stay in it. Then we will need a plan b!
Pet I've just ordered an Axiss which is a swivelly one. Is that the one you are looking at? I got it for £140 through Amazon which is the cheapest I've found. I know Amazon are bad with the whole tax thing but they were cheapest and also I get funds for my Guide Unit by buying from them so by making them make a
tiny charity donation it cancels out the tax slightly
I was told that seats are only supposed to be used for 6 years max so that put me off going for one that lasts until they are 12 but also 12 years is a lot of potential wear and tear too.
Stacks, I've been taking Iz to groups since she was 2 weeks old, and she got her first cold/bug at 7 months! Don't forget that BF gives them extra immunity.. but I think we were just very lucky too.
Scream, a la Pet, Iz also loves satsuma/clementine segments. I usually bite them in half first (half for her, half for me - don't think there's anything I'm not allowed to share now!), and she loves them. She got very excited the other day when she managed to nab a clementine from the fruit bowl, and then tried to bite into it...!
Sorry about the rubbish sleep Pet, but sounds like it wasn't as bad as it has been. Iz has also been doing lots of short stretches recently - going down for bed, then almost waking up as if it were just a nap?! Not sure how to sort that other than wake-to-sleep ing.. but I think it's her teeth bothering her more than anythign else...
Dream, don't feel guilty - happens to us all!
Good day here so far. Had to take one of the cats to the vets, and Iz behaved impeccably. She's now napping (in the cot, hurrah!) while I'm MN-ing . Aim for the week is to get her to nap at least once in the cot every day.
Can't believe we're almost half way through January already! Where's the time going?
That's the one, Rubber. We won't use isofix cos we'll need to keep swapping between cars.
Just had a nice dog walk in the snow.
Car seats. And swapping. Here is a precautionary tale...
In the Uk we have a group 0 recaro (brilliant), a group 1 recaro (bad), a britax group 1 (ok) and a britax group 1/2/3 (ok).
In Italy we have a mamma canguro group 1 (pretty good), a cybex group 1/2/3 (ok) and a TecTake group 1/2/3 (good, better than the Britax or the cybex). We have an Inglesina group 1 on order.
Its really difficult when you both do both pick ups and drop offs. Changing car seats around 4 times a day is dispiriting and sometimes downright logistically challenging so we've gone all out and thrown a lot of money at the problem...
biscuits is alive and well on fb! Yay!
Oh and dream you asked ages ago about dd1 and the international school. She seems to love it bar the food (so bit worried about her doing a full day this Thursday). Loves her teacher, the other kids (although she can say their names!), loves the playground and the new songs she's learnt.
I am not so keen, it's massive, the ratios arent as good as the uk and the office staff and really rude.
I was thinkin of moving her but she seems so happy with it that it seems mean.
A seems to love her all Italian nursery. They are so friendly and happy there and the ratios dont seem as important there which is weird. The kids are so cute and friendly (they're all a bit older than A). One of them adores dd1 and when we go to pick A up he always siddles over and holds dd1's hand!
I love DD so very much, and I feel so sorry for her with this terrible cold. It's just that she's been unable to sleep properly for over 24 hours now, poor thing. She was up and crying most of last night, and after getting up for the day at 7.30 (i.e. that's when I gave up on any thought of either of us getting any sleep) she then stayed up until 4pm before finally passing out for about an hour. She now won't go to sleep for bedtime, she's just exhausted and inconsolable. My heart is breaking for her, but I'm also going loopy! I'm so tired, and naturally I'm coming down with her cold. Every time she does her shrieking thing I just want to SCREAM (ironic I know). She fights everything I do - nappies, cleaning nose, picking her up, putting her down, lying down, standing up... Etc etc etc.
Dream you are a saint. I'm going to have "WWDD" (What Would Dream Do) stamped on my arm!
No Brooking for all poorly mini no brookers to get better RIGHT NOW and have a wonderful night's sleep!
Apologies for the mememe, and thank you for reading my rant! I just had to get it out to prevent an imminent implosion!
I love WWDD scream!
She probably wouldn't resort to screeching like a banshee which is my current go to...
Brooking for your a's cold to disappear ASAP.
Apologies for my many typos in my post extravaganza this pm...
Oh, I can do screeching like a banshee... And will do if at least one of my dc is not well, fast...
That was what b and s were like scream, dh was so knackered he had to email his colleagues to warn them of the plague chez Dream. B was much better last night, shame s is a little menace anyway... The really terrible bit was just 3 nights, though I managed a quick escape back to be I've mostly been up since 5 though...
Pomme thanks for the cat seat info. I'll be dropping DS off and DH will be picking him up, so we will be doing a car seat fandango. But given your comment, maybe I should get a group 1 car seat for my car and we could get a 1-2-3 for DH's (impractical 2-seater) car. If you don't mind my asking, what features make your seats good or not? Thank you!
Glad your girls have settled in well. Fwiw I'd leave DD1 if she's happy. So A will be speaking Italian soon, huh? Love the little boy holding DD1's hand, too.
Scream Poor A must be so exhausted and unhappy (as are you, no doubt). No brooking that things improve asap. Perhaps call in support from family if you can?
DS is also struggling with a blocked nose. He was up at 5am today. I fed him back to sleep at 6.20 so he's snoring on my lap but I'm wide awake now (and need a pee).
car seat not cat seat.
Dream hope your LOs improve today so you don't have to practise your banshee wail...
Ours tag teamed us last night. W up at 10.40, f at 2.30 and up on and off to 3.45 then w at 5 which woke f then got them calpoled and resettled and w up at 6.30 which woke f for the day. Hope both just slightly coldy and getting used to me being at work then it might not last long... It's like the good old days of newborn. stacks you have my total sympathies
oh gosh how awful so many mini brookers are not sleeping! scream have you calpoled/ got carvol or olbas oil/ raised the head end of her cot <tries to think of all other cold-foiling methods in my armoury>? I hope everyone gets sleep soon. DD and ds both a bit unsettled here as full of cold and is affecting both their sleeping but nothing compared to what you lot go through. Roll on the warmer nights though as its chuffing freezing at 3am (laments lack of carpet in house).
MUST have a massive tidy today as ds has friends round for tea tonight, not sure what to cook them though....
pomme glad to hear you are all settling in well over there.
stacks how are things with the bf?
There was more I wanted to say but can't remember what it was, oh well, laters brookers x
Not got much time to post, but wanted to say hi!
Sorry to hear re illness in various brooking babies. Not fun. I second ninja's suggestion of raising the head of the cot as it helps them to breathe better.
We had our first weekend away with two kids at the weekend - not bad at 2 weeks old for DS! Just went to the pils, which was lovely but my back is aching now from BFing on their sofas, which are lovely to relax on, but not good to sit upright and BF on. Hey ho.
DS's sleep is still a bit unpredictable. I am feeding as much as I can in the day and he seems to have taught himself to cluster feed in the evening now, so I'm getting to bed by 11, which is great, but then he sometimes sleeps two or three hours, but often it's only an hour. And stacks, I can relate to the transfer worries! If I'm not careful, he wakes when I transfer him and then I have to feed and settle again. Still, I'm enjoying it and was looking forward to this stage so much! I'm getting into a morning routine now and even managed the playgroup run today and got DD there on time.
Loving the banshee wails Pomme and Dream!
So sorry to hear of so many bad nights. Dream you are already my hero, and Pet it sounds like you're having a tough time too. Raaboo your night sounds torturous!
Ninja and Generic I well remember how not-fun an "unsettled" night is (that was my DD's default night pattern until about 3 weeks ago!)
No brooking for good health for all mini No Brookers, and lots of strength and patience for us No Brooker Mamas!
DD was up all night, despite my cold-counter-offensive (calpol, ibuprofen, karvol, olbas oil, raising the cot mattress at one end and co-sleeping. --Plus some piriton when it all got a bit desperate.--) I've gone back to cc today for her nap I'm afraid, because despite my best efforts to comfort her to sleep for the last 2 days, she just won't settle and she's so exhausted I can't imagine her shaking off this cold. It took an hour, but I have finally got her to sleep (ten mins ago - first nap of the day).
DH is staying over and it's his turn to look after her I know I won't be able to sleep while she's crying, but at least he gets to share in the joy of snot everywhere (my face, my clothes, my bed, my pillow, etc etc) and the unique experience of a full face snotty sneeze
So, I've seen every hour of the night. Again. Yawn.
If you have one baby who's up at 6 every morning (thanks S) but the others are up 7:30, even 8 for DD now she doesn't nap, would you do 2 lots of breakfast? I've just been doing them altogether, later, but think S is too tired to eat :/ And he's so whingey. Three dc whinging all day is no fun at all...
<hands out strong coffee and glittery matchsticks to those in need>
Tbh R has missed many meals through sleeping and a haven't done his when he woke up!
Tbh its all theoretical here anyway, s still has a temp of 38.3. 10 days he's been ill now. Dh says his ears are pretty red, still not managed to see his tonsils...
Poor little guy Go away all these illnesses for the Dream family!
Bloody work expecting me to, ahem, work is preventing me from posting as much.
Pomme, where is Biscuits on FB? I can't see her.
Dream, if S is that grumpy then I might feed him earlier. I know it's a pita but not as bad as grumpy hungry-but-overtired baby. That's what my dad does with his 3. They're older now (11, 9 and 5) so you don't have to physically feed them any more but basically Dad/stepmum get up with the earliest riser and get breakfast into them as fast as possible before they hit grumpy, and feed the others as they awake. M has also missed many meals through sleeping, but if she has missed one and is really grumpy then I feed her because it makes her easier to deal with.
We had a delightful interlude at 3am when M peed through her nappy and woke up soaked. Luckily it hadn't soaked through to the sheet, but she had to have dry nappy, vest, babygro and sleeping bag, which took a while with her screaming and kicking. I wish there was some way of communicating to a baby that the longer they spend squirming like an eel when you're trying to dress them, the longer it is going to take. Then she had to be fed and soothed and then she lay in her cot talking to herself and giggling before falling asleep, which was very cute but meant I didn't get back to sleep until 4.
I am supposed to be working so can't name check everyone, apologies!
Too I've just finished reading 'Emily of New Moon' from the website you linked to - thank you so much!
I loved your description of M giggling to herself - so sweet.
Just popping in to say I've been keeping up with the thread but not posted due to not really having much positive to contribute. Really been struggling with worrying and anxiety again . My CBT seems to have a very temporary positive impact but then I revert back to old ways and thoughts within days. I never in a million years would have predicted this for myself, it's a relatively recent thing but rather than improving I seem to be getting worse. Not too sure how to shake myself out of it. DH is understanding and supportive but I haven't told him how bad it's making me feel. I started to tell my closest RL friend but ended up making light of it. I don't know why I don't want people to know, maybe it's because I know they can't help
I hope your DC are on the mend Dream? How is A now Scream?
Car seats have always been Maxi-Cosi for us and we've never had any concerns. DS is now in group 2-3 which is his 3rd car seat since birth. We decided to replace at each stage rather than get one that does all, mainly because of wear and tear. His 2 old ones both look good as new so DD uses the Cabriofix and will move to he Tobi when big enough. I like the look of the swively ones and can't remember now why we didn't go for it.
Sounds like you're doing well Gen How's DD enjoying being big sister?
We have the Braun Thermoscan Pet. It's the same as the one our GP uses and our A&E. I'm always a bit as it gives a different reading every time in quick succession but the docs seem to think it does the job.
Oh scarlet can you speak to the therapist/ gp about what is happening? I think you need to tell someone. Please don't make light of it, it's clearly affecting your life and keeping it to yourself will surely only exacerbate the problem. Wish I had a magic answer for you. Please feel free to post on here about it if it will help you make sense of it.
Our 9mth + carseat is a maxi cosi, can't remember which one as its currently residing in a mates garage in the midlands although dp is off to fetch some stuff this weekend if the snow is not too bad so might get him to bring it back. I think i'd rather go for several car seats than a converting one. I did read somewhere the rules may be changing next year on how long they have to rear face for so you may end up having to re-buy anyway? Might be worth looking into (especially since I may be talking complete bollocks...)
dream and scream how are things going for you guys? Any improvement on illness/ sleeping?
Well its snowing here, has been since I opened the door to take ds to school this morning so dd is well wrapped up (why do babies have freezing hands even when they have about 50 polar fleece layers on?) next to me on the sofa and i'm considering more tea and toast, possibly even biscuits.
Speaking of biscuits hope you are well if you're lurking..
<waves at everyone else>
Hug for Scarlet. please go back to the gp. you shouldn't be suffering like this and it's nothing at all to be ashamed of.
it's awfully quiet here, are you all off having a snowball fight or something?
Hello am lurking but feeling rather negative about being at work and not being a good mum either so is only end up whining if I posted so thought is better refrain.
Although DS1 came out with a few corkers yesterday...
Ds1: mummy where is your willy?
Me: I'm a girl, I don't have one
Ds1: what have you got?
Me: er I've got boobs, nous have willies and girls have boobs
Ds1: I've got boobs
Me: have you?!
Ds1: yes, on my chest. They are similar to yours...
The conversation went on for a bit but the further highlights were:
Ds1: mummy, you don't have a Willy?
Ds1: so how do you wee?
And a bit later
Ds1: mummy, you've got furry bits. Like daddy. Why haven't I got furry bits?
The joys of three and a half and the questions you never thought you'd need to answer. I'm a bit apprehensive about what questions are coming next
Hello, still immersed in illness here, though touch wood no temperatures from any dc last night so fx on the mend, finally. After 6 days of temps hitting 39 for DT1...
Career break declined this Wed too, with 4 weeks to go til I'm back at work and found a vair young (21) but lovely nursery nurse in the village to potentially nanny for us. I'm a bit nervous, she doesn't drive (maybe good but limiting when we are in a village!) .
Anyway. I'm exhausted and busy, and feeling low about the total lack of sleeping here.
And NO SNOW!?!
Raaboo, wanted to ask where you found your nanny? its really hard doing both, I actually don't think we can 'have it all' very well, but am still considering trying back at work. Craziness. I think its harder doing part time work and part time mum as I think you basically end up trying to fit two full time jobs in.(incidentally none of this is much more than rambling and because I'm worried about my imminent return to work, lots)
at Raa's DS1! What did you say to 'how do you wee'?
Scarlet, are you still having CBT? Please tell your therapist how you feel. Or the GP. They can't help if they don't know what's going on. <hugs>
Pet, I have an ear thermometer too. I know it's expensive but I saw it as an investment (or that's what I told DH, anyway).
Dream, how is S now? Brooking that he's much better!
I have been reading the thread but work is getting in the way, and I find it difficult to type much on my phone so I like to wait until I get home to use the laptop. And I've been exhausted in the evenings as the reality of working hits home!
Is it bad that M is playing with an empty wine bottle?
Oh, cross posts.
Dream, yay for a temp-free night! But eek about not getting the career break. How annoying! Gosh, 4 weeks before you go back to work. What will you do for child-care? Will the young nanny cover the days you work? How many days will you be working? I find being back at work quite good because I get a bit of a break from the relentlessness and the loneliness. I was really getting quite miserable at home alone all day, so it's nice to have company again.
We have snow! Not a massive amount - maybe a couple of inches, but it looks v pretty. And DH isn't on call this weekend, which is always good.
Oh no Dream that's not good about work. I thought you'd already decided you were having a couple/few years out of work regardless whether the career break was approved or not. Are you worried you won't get a job later on if you resign from work now? I get the impression from others that part time work is often harder than full time work due to H's having the "well she works less hours than me" attitude so the woman still ends up doing everything in the house as well. What are your options and what are you currently considering?
Love your DS1 raa it was using the words chest and similar which tickled me. Excellent vocab!
Thanks for your concern Ninja, Gen and Too. The evil AF arrived again yesterday so I wonder if PMT contributed leading up to that. I am still having CBT and have an appointment next week. I will definitely say that I don't think it's helping. I believe I only have 3 sessions left anyway so will go back to GP after that if there's no miracle cure by then.
DH and DS are going out with the sledge this morning. They are both accident prone so I shall spend the whole time waiting for that phone call. I suggested DS wears his cycle helmet but DH thinks not because his ears will get cold. DH used to be a regular skier. The mind boggles when I think about it. How on earth he got away with never having a major injury I don't know because he trips over his own feet at least once a day. He's all legs like Bambi on ice.
Argh! I wrote a post yesterday, which hasn't made it to the thread, and today everything has changed!
One thing that hasn't changed is that clearly this thread is missing our Chief No Brooker - Biscuits!
I wanted to say that little A was finally getting better, and her temp had come down. However after having her first full(ish) day at nursery she's now ill again! Sob sob! Her temp is slightly raised again, she's flushed and clingy, and her 40-a-day cough is back. Grr!!! Poor LO.
She was a star on her first day though! No fussing, great nap, ate everything in reach! The nursery closed early for the day due to the snow, but she was there from 8 til 4 so it was still a long day for her.
Sending hugs to Scarlet, Raaboo, and Dream. Scarlet I'm starting to get the impression that the NHS like to err on the side of cost-saving when it comes to CBT Please make sure you tell your GP or counsellor exactly how much of an impact your anxiety is having on your life, and really push for the help you need. You shouldn't have to feel this way all the time my lovely. We're all here whenever you need to vent though.
Raaboo you are a great Mum! Never doubt that! Those same skills that make you a great Mum are also why I'm certain you're great at your job! Corralling babies is just like corralling colleagues and clients in taxing jobs like ours! Don't expect the impossible from yourself, just remember that you're doing incredibly well with the huge challenges of working AND parenting!
Dream, firstly HOORAY for lower temps! That's so sucky about your job though. I know how important your career is to you, and having a part of your life that's totally separate from your gorgeous but young and naturally high-maintenance DC is also important. I'm so sorry you're stuck with such a difficult decision now. No Brooking for a perfect solution to come up ASAP!
Hugs and No Brooking to everyone else, but I have to go now. LO is having a meltdown...
Aaargh, M has conjunctivitis. Her poor little eyes are weeping yellow goo, ick. I am therefore paranoid about every little potential itch in my eyes, while simultaneously praying that DH doesn't get it. He has keratoconus, which basically means that his cornea is thinning and he had an operation a few years ago where they put a plastic ring between the layers of the cornea to hold his eyeball in position. He gets dry, sore eyes a lot and is photosensitive to the point where he probably shouldn't drive at night because he gets dazzled. Plus, if he gets it he will be really, really annoying, moan a lot and rub his eyes raw (he's not meant to rub them because he could make his condition worse or possibly even bend the plastic thing). M is going to the doctor on Monday anyway (appt made because she had a bad cough, which has actually nearly gone, and we've run out of cream for her fungal rash and she still has one or two spots) so will see if they give her anything for it. Can she go to nursery with conjunctivitis? She clearly caught it there.
Yay for little A at nursery! She sounds like a star. Brooking that she gets better v soon.
Rubber, I haven't forgotten about sending you the breastpump, but I haven't got around to it either. I'll try to remember to pack it up tomorrow and get DH to post it on Monday.
Scarlet, how did DH and DS get on with the sledging? We went sledging today as well - DH had M on his front in the sling. I fell off the sledge and have a massive bruise on my knee, but it was great fun. The dog thought we were mental and chased us barking and tried to jump on the sledge.
Brooking that the anxiety turns out to be PMT-related - that's not brilliant, but it's better than having it all the time.
I meant to say that M got her first accident report from nursery on Wednesday - it was v scary because the letter said 'your child has suffered a head injury'! Apparently she went headfirst into the sand tray and bumped her eye, which had a purple swelling under it. Poor little beastie. All the same, the letter makes it sound worse than it is!
Deffo no nursery with conjunctivitis. Highly contagious. Poor little M with her poorly eyes and a head injury. I wonder if she got sand in her eye when she went in head first? Anyway although it's a bit icky and annoying it usually clears up quickly.
DS has had a fab time in the snow today. He and DH built a huge snowman in the garden. I've refrained from the FB snow pics so you'll have to take my word for it that it's impressive. In fact it's quite scary looking looming in the garden in the dark. I keep thinking someone's standing there every time I look up out of the window.
Hope A's ok now Scream?
Hope the rest of you are having a good weekend?
Yawn. I'm arguing with dh lots, exhaustion related as once we calm down we're not sure why we were so cross in the first place- non issues, you know?
Off to bed now. But just came to say poor old M with her conjunctivitis. If we have lots of bugs now I dread to think how bad it'd be if they went to nursery :/ It is very contagious, I know that.
And.what a shame A ill too scream love your updates on her, she's the most amazing child- every post she's doing something new!! Little B just sits there grinning
when he's not whinging , but at least he claps if you ask him, even without a demonstration to show what tog mean, and he's just so sweet. S cam swivel round in a circle but still not crawling, but if i had to guess I think he might. Not so sure about b...
Not that s isn't sweet, but b just seems so much more sensitive and I can't quite explain it... Maybe just that s is more robust?!
Forgot to say, rubbish about the anxiety scarlet don't be ashamed of yourself, ever. (((())))
too try regularly giving a saltwater eye bath with cotton wool, say 3 or 4 times a day. dissolve about a teaspoon of salt in boiled water.
Too sorry to hear about the conjunctivitis. No brooking that the rest of you escape infection. I don't think she can go to nursery with it, though. Does that mean you have to stay home to look after her?!
MY PHONE IS STUCK ON CAPITAL LETTERS! help! Oh phew, that's better.
Dream that's rubbish about the career break. what are you going to do? Your boys sound lovely, btw. DS basically just sits - he can swivel round and reach things a surprising distance away but he doesn't roll around to get to places and he shows no sign of crawling. Something sweet though: yesterday we were sitting on the floor together (he was facing me and playing with something so not looking at me) and I blew my nose. DS was so shocked by the unexpected noise that he jumped and hid his face in my lap. bless.
Scarlet really about the anxiety. As others have said, please try to tell someone how bad it's getting. This is not you, it's an illness which you need treatment for so you can recover and be your normal confident self again.
Thanks everyone for the cat seat and thermometer info.
Will post this now then scroll back cos i know I've missed lots. Oh Hawthers I loved DS1's conversation! Gorgeous!
Raa, loving yours and DS1's conversation!
Too, so sorry about poor M's conjunctavitus Hope she's not suffering too much, poor thing - and hope it clears up soon. I'm glad you're enjoying your time back at work - I know what you mean about a break from loneliness and relentlessness. Tis one of the reasons I felt a bit about handing in my resignation letter last week. I love being home with Iz, but I really like working. My work is quite lonely, so it's not that so much ... but I miss giving my brain a good workout! Once everything's been confirmed about leaving my old job I can start thinking about finding opportunities here though...
Dream, so sorry about your career break So are you employing your vair nice nursery nurse from when you go back then? How many days a week will you be working? Although it'll be tough, I imagine the break from the relentlessness will possibly do you good..? Fx there were no more high temps last night!
Scarlet, don't be ashamed about the anxiety. You are a fabulous mum, and even more fabulous for getting by despite the anxiety. Definitely mention it at your remaining CBT appts - and to the GP - there are always other avenues.
Sorry A is ill again Scream Bugs do seem to be one of the huge problems with nurseries. Then again, I guess every child will go through the same when they start at nursery/preschool/school - just seems much more sad when they're so little!
Apologies for the lack of posts here - v busy with meetings about a funding bid, lots of freelance work bits, and lots of family around. We've just picked out wallpaper for our living room which is being decorated in a fortnight, hurrah! Meant to go out buying paint samples today (the first two we picked were v wrong!) but not sure if we'll brave it in the snow. DH is supposed to be driving 3 hours for work tonight, which I'm not sure I'm too pleased about - quite a bit of snow here at the mo.
Also missing Biscuits. I wonder if she'll ever be back.. ?!
Thank you, everyone - M's conjunctivitis is already improving. DH took her to the doc this morning and they said it didn't look too bad and just to keep washing her eyes gently with warm water. So far we haven't caught it. DH forgot to ask about sending her to nursery with it, so I think we might risk it. Is that very bad?
How is the snow everywhere? We have a fair bit at home but it's not lying at work. I want to go home and play in the snow!
M has a new trick of biting my nipple and pulling her head back to look at me while grinning evilly. Then she giggles when I yelp and detach her. It is very cute but very sore. She's a bad baby! She's cruising around the furniture and doing proper hands-and-knees crawling (when she first started she inched along the floor like a caterpillar on her tummy) and she's getting pretty good with her little trolley walker. She goes across the floor really fast, but can't turn corners with it, so she winds up stuck. She's pulling up to stand on everything handy, which makes bath time difficult because she won't sit down, just keeps grabbing the taps or the side of the bath and standing up. She's also learned to sit down from a standing position - she slides her feet further and further apart so she looks like she's doing the splits and then lets go and sits down plop. It is so cute!
I've been AWOL again. More busy with T now DH is back at work. He's decided he only likes to sleep on me during the day for some reason. Wakes up within minutes of putting him down, yet if I pick him back up quick enough he goes back to sleep.
Lots of snow here, about 4 inches on the ground, and snowing heavy all day so far. I managed to get out for a walk before lunch (T wouldn't stop crying, so I went out in desperation). Our pram isn't made for snow though, all 4 wheels jammed so it was really hard work. I came back exhausted, but T woke up as we got to the doorstep
DH has been great, given me one job for the day - have a nap. T isn't cooperating so far though. I did get to go to bed on my own at 9pm last night, leaving DH with T sleeping on him on the sofa. Got 2 good hours of solo sleep which was lovely.
Sorry to hear of more poorly LOs. I'm dreading T getting ill. Hope illnesses are gone soon though, and everyone starts getting more sleep soon.
T waking up again
Struggling to do much more than lurk on these threads at the moment!
Stacks, re sleeping on you, maybe nothing but that's what my ds1 was like, until he was 9 months old he would only sleep in the day if he was on me or in the car. We found out later that this was because of his reflux. Does T puke much? Hoping not and that there is another reason why he won't sleep lay down!
Had a dull week or two here, dealing with annual mot/service, then car broke down, and baby monitor died so spent time researching new ones (the one we went for is amazing!) and then ds1 broke silicone mouthpiece on his water cup so had to get replacements ordered, and just moved him to his new bedroom with his big boy bed, so lots to sort re that, and he's not napping as we'll in there so have now ordered some black out blinds (he had them in his old room but I wasn't sure if he needed them, clearly he does!) and all these silly little things seem to take ages to sort when juggling a 2 year old who isn't napping in his new room and a 20 week old who sleeps less each day than his big brother! Especially when ds1 didn't go to nursery as the car wouldn't start! Hoping this week is a better one and that nothing breaks! And also hoping that asda manage to deliver the vast amount of nappies I've ordered whilst they are on sale. They have a habit of advertising but never actually giving supplies to our local store.
Re conjunctivitis, they are not meant to go to nursery but have to say that my ds1 caught it twice at his old nursery which really p'd me off, as clearly someone was sending their child in ill. He is at a new nursery now, and parents there seem just as selfish, ds1 was v ill in December and then ds2 ended up in hospital with bronchiolitis and the hospital seemed sure that from what I described that ds1 had had it first and passed it to ds2. The only place ds1 could have caught it was from the nursery. Yet the one day I sent him to nursery when he was a bit off colour and they are on the phone asking me to collect him. I don't see why they have rules if half the parents are allowed to ignore them, but because they know I'm not at work, the slightest sniffle and they send ds1 home! Grrrr. Rant over!
Dream, sorry re the career break being refused. From memory didn't you say it would cost more in child care than you'd earn by going back?
Me too loopy. It seems to depend what shift I'm on at work whether I can catch up and post!
Am home from evening shift and have done expressing dishes. DS 2 asleep on DH knee as usual. Will need to attempt transfer once pyjamas on...
Yes, it'll cost us literally thousands a year for me to work.... But I keep my job and registration. Nice to see you loopy nursery would drive me wild doing that!! Good job we are no worse off for going the Nanny route with three dc.
Popped on while feeding b buy morning kick off fully started now so best go. I wish dh didn't go to work so damn early!!!
barely worth me going to work after nanny and school fees. Just too depressing. I think it was ninja who asked how much our nanny is - £90 a day net of tax and she's bloody called in sick again today so another day of me not being in work and I've git a presentation to do to 30 lawyers first thing on wed so I was banking on having a couple of days to prepare. Now not so much. Argh!!
And where is biscuits ? We miss you lady, you can't leave us!
Dream, that's bad news re your career break and the financial impact of working while paying for childcare. What do you think you will do? I am brooking that you will find a good solution.
Raa, sorry to hear re your nanny problems too. I am interested in the nanny news as I'm thinking of nanny or childminder as an option for us when I go back to work. DH works freelance from home, so having some childcare to look after DS while DD is at preschool would be good so that he can still work. Sadly I'll have to go back full time.
Loopy, hope your groceries came!
Stacks, you are doing a great job. I think with sleep at this age you just have to go with the baby. Good that he is sleeping ok at night though. My DS is much the same - sleeps in two 3ish hour chunks at night and it varies in the day. Sometimes he will do a couple of hours in the Moses basket in the day, but other days he is more restless. I keep persevering with putting him down when he goes to sleep though!
Too, I'm glad the conjunctivitis is clearing up now.
Quick post, so sorry not to mention everyone else.
I am curious what you are all doing re contraception? DH has been to GP this morning re vasectomy as we do not want any more DCs, but I suppose I feel it's a bit too soon to rush into it, although I am sure I don't want any more babies. I think I'll go on the pill in the meantime. Prior to having DS I had wondered about the coil and am interested if anyone has any experience? Obviously all the broody brookers need not reply!
Oh and I meant to ask how you are, Scarlet? Brooking for you.
Going to try paying out hugely for me to work. What a bloody joke. I'm so pissed off. (sorry for the swearing, it deserves it!)
Biscuits has left the thread btw
:-( hope she is ok. Are you still in touch on fb?
Hit post too soon. That sucks dream, it's bad enough going back to work to make money!
DD is crawling! Bless her she makes it look a real effort, but the determination is incredible. DS has better watch out now.
Gen I've been wondering what to do re contraception too lately. Mainly because my periods have been so awful since DD I was hoping to find something which sorted that problem out at the same time. I'm considering going back on the pill. I was on it for 10 years prior to DS and have now had a 5 year break from it. I'd consider something more final tbh but would rather it be DH than me!
I've been a bit less anxious the last few days, I managed to get a grip. Thanks for asking. I have my appointment tomorrow and have been keeping a diary which I'm happy to show the therapist so we'll see what she thinks.
Dream sounds like an impossible decision you've had to make. You can only try and promise yourself you can make a change if you're not feeling happy about how things go.
Loopy I'm with you on people sending poorly DC to childcare. Gives me the rage big time.
Jaggy Biscuits is fine, I saw her a fortnight ago. Unfortunately RL got in the way of brooking and something had to give She did say that she's getting far more done at home now
Ah very understandable.I have considered doing the same thing many times. I've opted to just cut down...a bit.
I really need to make a doctors appointment to see about contraception, I promised DH I'd make an effort in the new year as I'm kind of just avoiding it a bit!
about Biscuits. I was wondering guiltily if she'd been outed in RL because I know her sister, but then her sister never said a word to me. Anyway, it's a shame she's stopped entirely and not just cut back! <wonders if she would also get much more done at home if she stopped MNing>
Scarlet, glad to hear the anxiety's been a bit better. Hope the therapist is really helpful and reassuring tomorrow.
Don't stone me for sending M to nursery with gunky eyes! <hides from the wrath of Loopy and Scarlet> They were so much better than they had been on Saturday. The nursery said usually they didn't let children come back until 24 hours after them having drops, but DH explained that the doc hadn't given her any drops and said just to wash her eyes with cooled boiled water, so they let her stay.
Gen, I have also been wondering about that - I got the mini-pill after M was born but I was absolutely useless at taking it within the 3 hour window. We've been going for the rhythm method instead. We did have a serious talk about the next baby at the weekend, though, and decided to definitely wait until Oct before ttc (for financial reasons), so I need to do something a bit more reliable. I thought perhaps now I'm back at work I might manage to remember to take the mini-pill, so I'll have to make an appt to go back and get some more.
Dream, that's v annoying about work. It must be so annoying to have to pay so much! Mind you, you now have a value for your time, which you should probably double to cover the nightshift, and when you get depressed, remember how much you're worth! What are your arrangements going to be - is it the young nanny on her own, or a combination with nursery? Will you be back part-time? I honestly think you might find it a bit of a relief to get away. I do, which is terribly bad, but I find I've missed the company so much. Next time I'm on mat leave I'm going to make a huge effort to go to groups, because I think I'd have cracked up if I'd been alone at home for much longer. I miss M during the day, though - I feel short-changed of baby cuddles! <least helpful post ever>
I am never lonely, we have a social whirl of groups, friends to play and going to theirs and if there's nothing on/ill dc I'm too busy to be lonely . Lucky!!
Definitely recommend activities with dc, we are starting toddler gymnastics today, though DD not v coordinated so we will see how much of a success it is... It does take some hunting round to find ones you like with nice people though IME. I travel further for better people/ toys/ groups
No time for more but young nanny, I'm going back 2 days, dh off with her one day, hopefully my mum up for the other as otherwise DD can't do her gymnastics as don't know what she'd dp with the boys, especially when they get moving as its parents assisting the dc and she will need a lot of help/ supervision...
Scarlet, I'm glad you feel a bit better. Diary sounds a great idea and I'm sure the therapist would help with that. And we'll done DD re the crawling!
Sorry to hear Biscuits has left the thread.
Thanks all re your comments in contraception. I'm thinking mini pill for now, but if DH does have the snip, I'm not sure I want natural cycles complete with PMT etc until menopause. I'd be quite happy to stay on the pill I think, but DH doesn't think it's healthy to have "all those hormones".
Dream, toddler gymnastics sounds like fun and its good that you have some help with the DCs who,e you go back to work. I suppose this phase only lasts a short time and they'll be at school before you know it. Hope that's not too depressing a though!
DS has a cold. Probably because DD also has one and sneezed in his face a couple of days ago. He has been snuffling all night, but we raised the head of his Moses basket and he actually slept really well. In fact he's still asleep after last feed at 6. Kind of want to wake him to feed him, but also thinking he may need the sleep.
DS 1 went to one of those classes and loved it dream :-)
We have a good local playgroup here, although we've been neglecting it since DS 1 started nursery. I will try to take DS 2 to the bump to toddlers one sometime but work getting in the way.
The library book bug sessions are also good too.
morning my lovelies! dream sorry to hear about work, but as others have said, maybe the break away from the kids will give a bit of renewed enjoyment when you are with them? Plus having time to do something for yourself, even if it is work, has to be good for the old grey matter? Plus surely you'll actually get a lunch break, like, all to yourself? Thats what I'm telling myself anyway. I have a meeting to discuss my hours tomorrow and i'm going to have to take M with me which is a bit annoying. I do 24 hours a week which is currently 3 days but going to see if I can split on of the days in two and do half on a saturday to save some cash on childcare fees.
scarlet glad you sound more positive, i wonder if keeping a diary of the anxiety will help show a pattern, especially if like you say it might be pmt related or something? Good luck any way, hope your appointment goes well.
Sorry to hear biscuits has disappeared but life does indeed get in the way I guess <waves just in case she's lurking occasionally>
raa I think we've decided on nursery rather than nanny or childminder and hope to get dd into ds's old nursery which was fab and is just round the corner. But expensive, hence asking to work on a saturday.
There's such a lot of colds and coughs about which is horrbile. Dd has a cough and snotty nose but seems to sleep ok most nights although her room gets v cold so if she wakes I just plonk her on the bed in between me and dp and we all go back to sleep. Although ds likes to try and slip in too and there is not enough room for 4 of us in one bed!
stacks ds was not a good daytime sleeper, king of the 45 minute nap but did improve when he got older. Perserverance I guess?
<waves at loopy, generic, jaggy, too, musical and anyone else I've not mentioned>
Its cold here today but the snow is disappearing. Must toddle off for a shower soon and do some shopping before school run later.
Yay, nappies arrived today although they let us down on the wipes so need to re order those!
Need mega brooking, someone is coming to view my house tomorrow, it's been on the market for a scary amount of time and really hoping this one likes it. Snow is hiding any weeds in the garden and we've had a good tidy up. Just the small matter of 42 mega boxes of nappies in the hall lol...
Ps sorry biscuits has left, maybe she might be back to lurk soon?
42 boxes? you could build a whole new room out of those good luck, we moved in November, don't fancy doing it again in a hurry. where in the country are you?
In Anglia area, hoping to move to the midlands where all my family live, but had got to the point of thinking it will never happen a couple of months back so this has thrown us a bit...maybe it's law of the sod that we will sell it and have to pay extra removals for all those nappies lol....although after so long, still feel like its never going to happen so hence need all the brooking possible tomorrow!!!
Hope your meeting goes as you want it too tomorrow Ninja. When do you start back?
Brooking your house gets sold Loopy. Roughly which part of the midlands are you hoping to move to? I'm East.
How's DS doing now Generic? I hope he's on the mend poor sausage.
How do you feel now you've come to a decision Dream?
DD is snotty again and I think I might be coming down with a cold too. I really want this snow to bugger off now, I've had enough of it!
Anywhere close to Stratford upon Avon, most of my family live round there.
Sorry for not name checking, lots of tidying/cleaning tonight. Awful timing, ds2 had his last load of jabs yesterday and has been v upset today, will have to give him lots of extra cuddles tomorrow to make up for plonking him down lots today
No Brooking for Loopy's viewing tomorrow! Argh! House stuff is so stressful! I hope the viewer just falls in love and makes an above-price offer on the spot!
I've decided to formally separate from
DH, and so we had a whole bunch of estate agents round on Monday to value the house and get the ball rolling. I've been a bit quiet just because, tbh, I have this overwhelming feeling of failure which I hadn't really anticipated. I'm quite apprehensive about the future as well, and the stress of being a single Mum. So I'm not my usual self at the mo, but I'm trying to regain my positive outlook. I made this decision because I could only see more unhappiness in my future if I hang around, whereas if I leave I know the next year or so will be really tough, but beyond that I'm hoping for a second chance at finding the right husband for me and a great stepdad for DD. Who knows. I don't want to drag the thread down with this, I just wanted to tell someone really. It's so hard to admit it to people in RL.
More importantly poor little A's been through the mill a bit for the last couple of weeks She's cut four new teeth and had TWO colds from nursery all in the last 2 weeks. Her temperature has been around 38.5 degrees since Sunday, and it was consistently above 37 degrees for the ten days before that. I took her to the GP this week, just to be certain I wasn't missing anything important, but he's agreed there's nothing to be done except managing her high temps with paracetamol / ibuprofen. She's a little trooper though, still grinning away and chatting constantly! She finally figured out clapping last week, and now she claps all day long, it's her fav activity!
Hooray for Scarlet's DD crawling, and as per FB Purple's DS is walking!!! Our first walking mini No Brooker!!! All so exciting!!! Congrats LOs!!!
Sorry to hear that little A has so much company in the NoBrookerVille sickroom. I hope all the poorly LOs get better asap! It's heart-breaking watching them struggle
I'm following all the childcare discussions avidly! Dream 2 days a week sounds like a good compromise, when do you start? Good luck with prep, and with getting your Mum to do a day! Is your DH going part-time to cover his day, or has he moved one of his work days to out-of-hours? Ninja I feel your pain with the expensive nurseries in our part of the world! Sucks!
Pomme how's it all going in Italy?!
<Waves at everyone else, and slinks off before a formal complaint is made about the length of my posts!>
((((*Scream *)))) that's very sad news. I know there's obviously a lot more to the story than you've posted on here and you will have not come to this decision easily. I hope you have some RL support? Who knows what the future holds, you just have to do what you believe is right for yourself. You cannot be responsible for anyone else's happiness. As for feeling a sense of failure I guess that's inevitable, but hopefully that will pass when you become more confident about your decision. Is it by mutual agreement? Or has
DH been hoping for a reconciliation?
Brooking for little A to get better ASAP.
Aaah, wrote a really long post last night, and must have not pressed post - sorry . Will try to make up for it now while Iz naps...
Scream, such sad news. Feel free to let it all out to us though - we'll always listen I hope as scarlet says, your sense of failure will dissipate as you become more confident and move on. It must be such a difficult decision to make. Many un-MN-y hugs.
Sorry to hear about A too. Hope the GP didn't mind you bringing her in with a temp, just to check out about other things. I did the same when Iz was ill over Christmas (to the OOH GP) - he seemed a bit bemused that we'd bought her in, but she'd had up and down temperatures for a week, and was pulling on her ears - personally I was worried it may have been an ear infection, but he shot me down for being silly. Better safe than sorry though.
Loopy, whereabouts in Anglia are you now? Hope the house viewing goes well. Hope it isn't too stressful for you - and same for you on the housing front Scream. Moving with babes must be so tricky. I got it easy when we moved - 38 wks pregnant - I packed some boxes slowly, then when the removal firm arrived I walked over to the new house with my mum and drank tea until they were done!
Generic, I've gone down the mini pill route. I was on the pill before, and have never had any major problems. That said, I do think it makes my moods more up and down... but at the same time, it used to make AF so so so much more bearable. Can't say if the new one I'm on does, as it hasn't made an appearance yet.. hmm. DH and I have had a similar discussion lately - we want another, and relatively close together (due to career decisions - rubbish when career rules life, but there you go...), but he's a bit unsure about having a vasectomy after no.2 - unsure about having one while still under 30! That is of course if we're lucky enough to have no.2, and if they arrive in a timely fashion...
Scarlet, the diary sounds like a good idea. Hurrah for DD's crawling!
Dream, paying to work sounds completely rubbish. I know your career is important to you, and obviously your registration too.. but there should be a better way around it They should be more flexible!
Sad news about Biscuits, but understandable. Brooking is one of my escapes from working personally . I also love reading the threads during night feeds!
Nothing much going on here! Iz is being adoreable, as per usual. I think I've found some more freelance work for a good few months, which is wonderful - just need to work out how to keep myself even busier during the days!
Right, going to post this before I accidentally lose it or close the window or turn off the machine and forget (again)...
Oh Scream, I'm so sorry! Brooking really hard for things to go as easily as possible for you over the coming months. Please feel free to come on here and say as much or as little as you like - we'll be here to hold your hand no matter what the subject matter. And poor little A being ill too.
Loopy, sending buy-this-house vibes your way today!
I meant to say well done to Scarlet's DD for crawling! And Purple's H is walking? Where does it say that on FB? <waits impatiently for phone to update> I still can't see it.
Coincedentally, I was just about to post this:
M sort of walked last night! I'm not sure it counts as her actual first steps, though, because basically DH and I sat on the floor facing each other (not very far apart), set M on her feet and let her go. She would go step-step-step-fall and we'd have to catch her. She got really over-excited and started squealing and bouncing with joy and then started just diving forward when you let go of her, so we had to stop before she hurt herself. Shall try again tonight and see what she does. But it was super-cute!
What do you think? Does that count? I'm not sure she was actually balancing at any point during this process.
Nice namechange too although personally can't stand the stuff Well done on walking little M! And for purple too! And for scarlet on the crawling!
I hope the house viewing went ok loopy It's a nightmare keeping it all tidy. Hope you get an offer soon.
I'm so sorry to hear that scream please feel free to let off steam here, it must be very difficult in rl. Will you move back in with your folks? How has dh taken it? Is he getting any help for his depression? Brooking it will all go as smoothly and with as little pain as possible.
Work meeting was ok but basically going back to work will leave me out of pocket at least by over a hundred a month till dd is 2 and even then we'll only break even Why is childcare so fucking expensive round here?
Would write more but got to pick up ds from school and that means I have to wake dd who is currently looking v cosy asleep on a giant cushion wrapped up in a blanket.
It's the first spelling, Too - think 'coincide'. And I think that defo counts as walking! Woo hoo!
Loopy how did it go?
Scarlet yay for crawling! Clever DD!
Scream we're here for you. So sorry you're going through this tough time. Sounds like you've made a very brave decision and sometime soon the future will be rosy for you again.
Dream about work. I go back next month. Really hope our
bad boys' sleep improves before then!
Musical glad to hear about the freelance work, and that Iz is her usual adorable self.
Ninja are you in London? Childcare is scarily expensive there.
Gen co- sleeping is proving to be the only contraceptive I need.
I think DS feeds every 2 hours at night, minimum. I'm now wondering about moving him onto bottles overnight so I can try the thing where you water the milk down until it's just water, and then they miraculously give up waking for it.
<waves to Jaggy Raa and everyone else>
Obviously there should be a comma between Jaggy and Raa.
Do you know, Pet, now I can see immediately that it's coincidentally. I was just having a dumb not-blonde moment, I think.
Yikes, Ninja, that is really expensive! Do you have to go back to work (I mean to keep that particular job)?
I'm doing a low-carb diet, hence the nc away from MincePies. Plus, it's not Christmas any more. Oh nuts, I just thought of one I like better.
Pet, hope DS stops waking so often - it's soul-destroying! Brooking really hard that he suddenly just gets it and starts sleeping through the night on a regular basis.
What do you think of this one? <twirls>
I live about 10 minutes from Huntingdon. I have no idea how the viewing went, so now in that horrid limbo waiting to find out if its a rejection again or not. He came on his own rather than with his wife and children, was v quiet and didn't here much of what he said. Nearly everyone who has viewed has said they don't like the fact we have a road behind our back garden but he is currently living in a townhouse on what is apparently a desirable but very busy road in Cambridge and is used to traffic noises (not that you can really hear much from indoors! It'sjust when in the back garden we can hear it. He doesn't have much garden and doesn't have a utility but just because we have plenty of both it doesn't mean he likes it enough to buy it. Can't help thinking he won't want it just like everyone else who has viewed it, feeling so negative about it all now as been trying to sell it for quite a while now.
Anyhow enough re me.
So sorry scream, I am divorced, and my ex had depression but he was nasty with it, a bully and I was scared when with him and so sick of treading on eggshells all the time. He went for counselling but I don't think it helped at all, in his case it just gave him opportunity to wallow in self pity and get attention rather than what he needed which was a kick up the backside in my opinion. It was easy for me though as no children were involved, I imagine its not a decision you have taken lightly and I hope you can keep things amicable for A's sake if nothing else. Is there absolutely no chance of working things out?
Pet re waking in the night and water....it does work . Well it did for ds1 anyhow. He was sleeping through from 7 weeks (sorry but it is true!) and by 5 months he was going to bed at 7pm so we moved him into his own room as it also coincided with him being too big for his crib. Not long after, and definitely before he hit the 6 month mark, cheeky monkey started to wake in the night and the only way we could get him to settle was for me to feed him (he was BF till 15 months, no formula or expressed top ups etc). I talked to hv re this and she said there was no way he was waking from hunger if he'd been sleeping through for so long and that it would become a habit for him to wake up expecting a bonus feed if we let him. So we did what she suggested, Dp went in when DS woke and gave him a bottle of cooled boiled water in a sterilised bottle. DS drank it as if it was milk, and then went to sleep! No gradually weakening milk, just gave him water on its own. She had said that it needs to be Dp that does it as DS would smell the milk on me if I did it. She said ideally Dp should take a week off work and accept it will be a crap week of bad sleep for him but he didn't take any time off, said he'd be ok working if he didnt sleep (the world hs to end for him to take time off for the hell of it lol) we started this on the Friday night and by the Monday night he'd obviously figured out that there was no point waking up. And ever since he has slept through unless he has been ill. Can't guarantee it works for everyone but it definitely worked for us .
And dream, that sucks that you have to pay to go to work. Good job you love your work as I don't know many people ( maybe none) who would pay to do their job. Is there any scope for your earnings to increase? Is there no way of leaving and going back or getting another job once the dt's start school? Or when they get the free nursery hours ? That's assuming the government don't get rid of that. Look away if you don't like rants....I know the country is in a mess but I have worked and paid taxes for years (i started working at 13 and worked full time from 18) and didn't have my first child until i was 34. All the time I worked I watched other people get child benefit, child trust fund payments, and the the health in pregnancy grant. I finally start having children and one by one they are taking away the things that everyone else had. I have never claimed benefits and it just seems so unfair. Particularly that a couple could have one person earning little or nothing but if the other earns £60k pa they lose child benefit whereas a couple could be earning £49999 pa each and get to keep their child benefit. How on earth the government could justify that the richer couples children need or deserve the benefit and the other couples children don't is beyond me. Rant over.
loopy I am your example of someone losing child benefit exactly as you said below. makes me feel rather stabby at the powers that be.
I have friends who live near Huntington, they live in godmanchester if you know it? hope your buyer liked it.
too best name change yet
Gaah, I am Not Well. Not sure if it's food poisoning or a bug, but basically I am requiring to stay within running distance of a toilet at all times. It is not mixing well with babycare, although M is being angelic, all things considered. She crawled into the bathroom looking for me twice - 'twas v sweet. DH has taken the afternoon off because I begged him to, and should be home soon.
How is everyone? Scream, sending you hugs.
Loopy, fx that the guy likes the house! What you say about giving water sounds like a great idea. I wish I'd known that when M stopped sleeping through at 5 months!
House still for sale, he told agents that he really could not fault the house but that the noise in the garden from the road would be too much for his wife . I am so sick of rejection.
Yes I vaguely know Godmanchester, went to a Chinese restaurant there once and been to Wood Green shelter a few times. (I like cats)
Ah sorry Loopy that's bad news. Have you considered dropping the price or is that not an option? If it's the road noise that's putting people off and the house is fine, that could be someone's compromise?
Already reduced it by £35k and not made a jot of difference
Anyhow, enough misery. Happier news is that ds2 was asleep in his crib by 7.10 tonight, so I'm snuggled downstairs in a blanket watching tv for the first time in ages live rather than catching up via sky +' and about to eat a hot pizza, and got a naughty drinkie on the side looks like we might have our evenings back
Loopy, so sorry to hear that I'm from nr Cambridge, so not too far from you (in Essex now though). I'm sure the right person will come along and snap your lovely house up - right when you least expect it. I hope it happens sooner rather than later
Fabulous that DS2 was asleep at such a good time though! Pizza sounds wonderful - haven't had pizza in ages . I've just spent my evening working, and more to go.. sigh.
Too, hope you're feeling better now? Bless M, how sweet I think they naturally want to check you're ok. I had itchy eyes the other day so closed them for a second (I could hear her playing on her table at the other side of the room) - then I heard her crawl across the room, climb up my legs and tap my hand until I opened my eyes! So sweet Lovely new name!
Does anyone have any cunning plans for fidgetty babies when you're changing nappies? I used to use a toy to distract her, and keep her lying down, but as soon as I put her down she wriggles, rolls over and escapes!
DD has a habit of grabbing her bits when her nappy is off so I either put a sock on her hand or something over her face like clothes, blanket etc which she then pulls off. I just keep putting it back until I've finished. It distracts her and she lies still
Ooo, thanks for the idea Rubber! The socks on hands wouldn't stop her from being able to escape, but we play with muslins over her head a lot (she loves trying to pull them off too), so will give that a go when she's wriggling lots and not letting us change her tomorrow!
I hear standing up nappy changes are quite common with toddlers though? She usually escapes to play at her toy basket - which she normally stands at - so I suppose I could always change her there!
I'm also from East Anglia originally. Beds/Cambs border area. Family are all from a vair nice part of Hertfordshire and mostly still there. (If I'd not outed myself before I definitely have now).
I'll keep brooking for a sale for you Loopy. Someone will fall in love with it.
Are you still using reusables Musical? I usually give DD a disposable to play with. Keeps her more entertained than any of her toys
I cannot believe we're being bombarded with yet more snow! The flakes that are falling now are humongous!
Oo loopy my parents are moving to Stratford at the end of Feb! They only live about 10 miles away currently (i grew up in Solihull). Tis very nice.
Italy going ok. I have sacked someone for the first time this week. Horrible thing to do.
I am also following the child care discussions avidly! How are you feeling dream?
Hugs to scream
Go...the...f*ck...to...sleep! I spent hours this afternoon trying to get M to nap, to no avail. First try at 2pm resulted in zero sleep, just bad baby climbing around the cot and standing up - I could hear her over the monitor giggling when she got to her feet, and then howling when no one appeared to pick her up. I gave in and let her get up again and then at 3.30 she napped for a grand total of half an hour. All my attempts to get her to go back down after that failed.
Pomme, eek to sacking someone. That sounds rough on you. Why did they have to be sacked?
Scarlet, I give M a spare nappy to play with when I'm changing her too! She always tries to grab it anyway. of your snow. We have torrential rain instead. <considers moving back to Aberdeenshire for decent snow>
Rubber, M hasn't really found her bits yet! Btw, I have found all the bits of the breast pump and I just have to wash them and get DH to post them tomorrow when he's off.
Musical, I'm better today, thanks - yesterday I was still pretty rough until about 6pm, when I suddenly developed a craving for chips and cheese. Classy. M had a temperature of 38.6 yesterday afternoon but hasn't had diarrhoea, so I think she had a cold/virus thing (is also v snotty with bad cough) and I had food poisoning. Bloody DH's chicken curry with undercooked chicken thighs!
Hello everyone. I've been lurking too long and lost you all. Been quite busy with T and trying to get more things done these days. I've got a new complication too - think I might have mastitis. Though not the infected sort, just the painful kind. T wouldn't settle at all last night till 1am, but then slept through till 6:30! Lovely as the sleep was, I woke up with a really hard painful breast. Fed from it which helped, but still incredibly sore afterwards. T then slept till 8:30, and this time both breasts were hard and sore I've been reading about dealing with mastitis, and the advice is to feed from the sore breast often - 8-12 times a day. T only feeds about 12 times in a day, and only from one breast at a time.
So I've had a little go at expressing to empty the breast(s). It's not very comfortable at all Not sure what I was expecting it to feel like, but better than it does. Using a Tommy Tippee hand pump, and managed to get 1oz in about 5 minutes, after T had finished feeding. Is it usual to have that much left over after a feed? If I express the extra am I not going to make more and thus make problems worse?
Going to go along to the hospital breastfeeding clinic tomorrow. Hopefully they'll be able to give me some advice. I think I've actually had this problem for a while. My right breast has always been sore, painful before and after a feed with lots of burning pain. There's a large obvious lump in the centre of the great too which never leaves and is sore to poke at. It's really hard to massage when feeding, and especially when expressing.
Hmm, that's loads of me me me. Sorry.
Loopy, someone will fall in love with your house soon. Brooking extra hard for you to get lots of new interest soon.
Scream, so sorry to hear that things haven't improved with your DH. Things will get better for you though. I remember that 'failure' feeling too, made me not talk to anyone when things were bad with my XH. I hope you have someone to talk to, but remember we're always here. hugs
T is waking up. I've been a terrible Brooker recently, but I will make more if an effort from now on!
Eeek Pomme that's not nice. Especially when you've not been there that long. That's what I used to do in my previous life at work, along with disciplinarys and grievances etc and I never found it got any easier from a human POV. Your latest FB pics of the girls are very sweet. Are they both getting on ok at school?
Glad you're feeling better Too
I'm sure you'll get some good advice from the BF clinic Stacks. Apart from massaging I wouldn't know what to advise. Have you tried doing it in the shower with a comb? The only time I ever had a blocked duct I managed to get rid of it like that.
I have DS at home today. First virus of 2013 has begun with an awful night time cough. He's got bags under his eyes bigger than mine. Oh well, at least he managed a month with no illness. I think that's the longest he's gone in about 2 years.
DD is still a bit snotty but it doesn't seem to be bothering her. She's loving it now she can get around on the floor. DS is not amused. She is so interested in his Playmobil stuff so I've banished it to his bedroom as the bits are so tiny.
DH and I managed to get out for a meal on our own on Saturday night which was very nice. I told DH how much time I spend worrying about stuff
and he thinks I'm a nutter and he thinks I spend too much time looking for bad stuff. Online, newspapers etc. I think he has a point so I'm going to try and get out a bit more with DD and find a class with her while DS is at playgroup. I only go swimming with her once a week whereas when DS was tiny I used to be out nearly every day.
Hey all. I have been lurking but busy as usual.
I had a blocked duct too this week and I cleared it with a big deep warm bath which I sat in and massaged and expressed. Also feed DS2 from different angles! Hope clinic helps you stacks.
I'm trying not to be on here too much as I find it hard to keep up and spend ages getting back up to speed. I don't think I can be as brave as biscuits and disappear though! Maybe just nocturnal visits with DS2. He is ok during the day apart from his runny nose, but up coughing a lot in the early hours. Yawn.
DS1 settling in ok at nursery so far...
Don't leave us, Jaggy! Ouch to the blocked duct - glad it's gone now.
Am really just lurking - am supposed to be helping DH paint the living room while M naps. Will be back later.
Lurking too, too bloody tired to post. 4:20am start yesterday, and 5am start today, with 2 hour stint of being up in the night both times. All S bar last night which was DD up for 2 hours.
Boo to the blocked ducts. I got a really cracked nipple the other day- agony , bah! That's not meant to happen now!!!
I found massaging it is so, so painful stacks but does really help, especially if you can do it a bit while they're feeding... I found it really hard to push through the pain and do it but it did help. But I'd say get better advice then from me!!!
Ooooh the excitement!
Victor Meldew DH has just gone out to mither the electricity board people who knocked on the door 15 minutes ago. The houses all around us have had a power cut but we haven't . Next door has no one living in it currently so they're unsure about that. The men have some metal detector looky like thing going on and DH is following them round like a 3 year old boy
Jaggy you are not allowed to leave us! Biscuits has gone cold turkey on us for private reasons, (she's ok, nothing to worry about) the extra added time she's found has been an unexpected bonus. I aim to cut down on my general Internet usage, but I will still be posting on this thread and hope you all will be too.
FFS next door but one are having their drive dug up now! Apparently they can't go for 8 hours without electricity because they have no heating . I'm ranting that we had 3 days without heating in December when our boiler packed up and it was the coldest week of the Ffing year . Their kids are older teenagers. There's a massive digger making a racket a few metres away from DS's bedroom window. I'm not going to be happy if he wakes up.
I couldn't leave - I'd miss you all too much! I do tend to I
lurk more than post though...
Thank you all for the nappy distraction tactics! Scarlet, we're still using reusables but we have some disposables too, so I'll give that a go! I meant to today but forgot. In the meantime, I've found one toy that's working to keep her on her back some of the time (a big shaker rattle thing- thought she'd got bored of it but evidently not!). I've also become quite good at standing up nappy changes, seen as that's her favourite thing to do...!
Scarlet, what on earth are they doing digging up things at such a stupid time?! Hope the power issue has been resolved, and that the digging didn't disturb any of you..?
Stacks, sorry to hear about the blocked duct. I can also recommend massaging, and also getting T to feed from different angles to help clear it if you're able to do so? DH has found Iz and I on the bed with her feeding effectively 'upside down' quite often, as I seem to suffer from them a lot. I also (tmi a bit?) do a bit of a regular clear out of the ducts on my nipples manually by massaging them - I find it helps clear any sore blocked lumps, but also helps them to stop happening- for me at least!
Must dash - Iz asleep again, so it's transfer time here...
Boo to noisy diggers and sore nipples!
Doing 6 am shift again this week. Mega yawn.......
FFS, I keep getting brown spotting. It is infuriating! Go away or turn into actual AF, stop buggering around! <and breathe> I still haven't had AF back, so I keep thinking maybe this is it and then nothing.
Still lurking ladies! I'm just taking a little time to get my head straight and adjust my vision of the future. I keep catching myself planning things around the idea of being pg again in the summer, and living in a bigger house. Then I have to do the mental wet fish slap and realise that I won't be pg again for a long long time (even IF I find someone new), and my next home will probably be a tiny flat rather than a bigger house It's just taking a while to realign my sights.
Still No Brooking for you all though, and periodically dropping by to make sure you're all okay!
oh scream big hugs to you, it must be a difficult thing to get your head around. Have you told family and friends yet? You don't know you won't be pregnant for a long long time, you may meet someone who is The One and decide its the right thing at the right time. Hope little A is taking all the change in her stride.
Don't know how you get up so early jaggy
scarlet I am at your neighbours, how rude is that? I'd be furious.
too hope af makes her mind up soon.
Not much to report here, just the usual school run and money worries. Although hopefully money might be quite as absolutely terrible as I thought, apparently my tax code is about to change for the better which may make a difference, and if i'm lucky I might have a small pay rise this year. I have also requested that the pay scales attached to my job are reviewed to ensure they are correct and the job and dept have changed so much in the 3 years I've been there. Should know the outcome re my hours and possibly pay scale by end of thr week I think.
Must go have a shower, think I might trim my fringe too. its got to a horrible half grown out length and I don't like it.
Scream, hope you're doing ok. It must be so difficult to readjust your thinking Hope everything's going as well a possible for you, and that you're feeling happier despite all the change going on.
Ninja, I think money worries are part of the course with children, aren't they? Hoping the tax code change and pay rise all happen and are all fabulous!
Too, has AF turned up yet? Mine hasn't reappeared but I keep getting really bad period pain, so I prepare myself... and nothing happens. Doesn't help with the paranoia - every month I used to wonder/worry if I was pregnant, so of course with all these strange goings on it doesn't help, even though I know it's highly unlikely! Especially as I'm still BFing lots.
Full of colds here - Iz and I a lot, and DH has it too. She's so miserable, it's so sad... and was up for two hours in the middle of last night - eventually would only sleep upright. Urgh. Absolutely shattered, and I have a hellishly busy few days ahead. Typical...!
Scream, have been thinking about you a lot. How are you and little A doing? Have you moved back in with your folks, or has
DH moved out? Brooking for you.
Ninja, money problems suck! We finally limped to payday, thank God,
thanks to a loan from PIL but a lot of this month's money is already spent. <sigh> At least we've got childcare vouchers with work (both of us) so the bulk of M's nursery fees are covered pre-tax. Actually, weirdly, my take-home pay isn't as badly affected as I thought it would be. I get £243 in childcare vouchers, as does DH, and M's monthly nursery bill is £531. If we could just get on top of the credit card a bit then we might actually be okay, now I'm back at work. <crosses fingers and sends up silent prayer of thanks for February being a short month>
Oh, and Step Away From The Scissors! Cutting your own fringe is never a good idea unless you are actually a hairdresser, in which case please come round here and do mine.
Musical, Brooking for an immediate cessation in colds! M and I are also full of the cold - poor little M coughs and coughs in the night but doesn't really wake up, weirdly. She is absolutely covered in snot every morning, mind, and has been having a fair bit of Calpol over the last few days. How long can you keep giving a baby Calpol for?
AF has not arrived, grr. I keep wondering if I could possibly be pregnant, but it is highly unlikely as there hasn't been much in the way of sausage-hiding going on here, although when there has we've been going for the notoriously unreliable withdrawal method of contraception...My boobs don't seem different, although hard to tell as am still bfing. The only other symptom is that I've still got unpleasant food-poisoning effects going on, which is a bit weird because it's now Wednesday and I was poisoned on Thursday last week. I'm actually off work because my tummy is so dodgy and I don't dare eat anything except white bread
and chocolate. Anyway, I remember getting a dicky tummy in early pg before. Not as badly as this, though.
How is everyone else? Jaggy, how are the early mornings going? Dream, how are you getting on with the return to work plans? <waves at Scarlet, Stacks, Loopy, Rubber, Gen and anyone else she might have forgotten>
Scarlet, I meant to say that DH has got his CBT referral and has his first session tomorrow. I really hope he sticks it out. He keeps spiraling into these sloughs of despondency and I'm hoping CBT will help him recognise them starting and do something to stave them off. And I hope it can help with his spending problems.
<waves at Pet too>
I wish my childcare was the same price as yours too sadly it'll be 1099 a month for nursery for m plus breakfast and afterschool club for s
I now have a fringe and my hair looks miles better for it
hope your tummy feels better soon, right school run beckons.
£1099? <faints> Is that full-time? M's is 3 days a week.
nope, it's also 3 days a week. I just have nowhere else to moan about it
we always knew it'd be tight, we'll be ok but we might be eating s lot of beans for a while!
Yikes Ninja that seems a lot but the most important thing is that DD is childcare that you're completely happy with, even it it costs more than some of the alternatives. I meant to say thanks for the LeapPad recommendation, DS loves it. We managed to find some less expensive downloads for it online so it's keeping him entertained while he is off playgroup poorly again
Brooking that the CBT has some success for your DH Too. Mine has helped me come to terms with why I have anxiety but I'm still struggling to change the behaviour when the panic creeps in. I've become a lot more open with DH about it all and he is way more understanding that I thought he would be, so that's helped.
Brooking your colds all dry up ASAP Musical Snuffly babies are very sorrowful.
Scream I've been thinking about you lots. Hope you're managing ok (((hugs)))
How's it going Dream?
I'm off out for the evening with a friend and I'm so looking forward to it. I've not had any time away from either DH or DC for over a month which is ages for me. I'm desperate for a good laugh and a gossip.
Aaargh, I am still ill in a most unladylike way! Spoke to the nurse at work and she told me to go to the GP, and in the meantime, eat nothing but bread, eggs, potatoes, rice and pasta. No dairy, no sugar, no greens, no citrus fruit, no caffeine. She suggested dry bread for breakfast, with egg mashed onto it. And drink lots of cooled boiled water. Possibly having lots of chocolate last night was not a good idea. <drinks hot water> I'm waiting for it to be 8 o'clock so I can ring the doctor.
Scarlet, hope you had a great night out! DH's CBT actually doesn't start until next week - he misread the letter. Will let you know how he gets on.
Ninja, that's terrible - do you get childcare vouchers? I hope the government bring in this thing where working mothers get £2000 worth of tax-free childcare - although to you, that'd barely cover 2 months. Still, it'd be a bit of a help.
Sounds rubbish too. DH needed antibiotics to clear his bad food related infection, although his was complicated by the colitis.
Forgot to tell you I got first AF last Saturday. Previous pains were maybe egg hatching. Was a light and painless AF so not complaining too much... Got two months extra off compared to after DS1.
Having a shit day at work and really just want to go home.
oh too that sounds awful. I do hope you're better soon. I hope dh's cbt goes well.
What's up jaggy you don't sound like a happy bunny today.
scarlet I'm glad your ds likes his leappad. Ds adores his. His current favourite thing is to record himself making up rhymes about poos, wees and farts. Oh and blowing raspberries, lots of them Strange child.
Boring day stuck indoors today as waiting for a delivery and also got some people coming to insulate the loft for free. My life is a thrill a minute. I might ebay some stuff for some added excitement
Ach, just things going a bit wrong in the lab and my sleepy brain struggling. I have a tendency to panic irrationally if things feel like they are getting over my head a bit.
It's calming down a bit now, thanks
Having an equally boring day in Ninja. Was supposed to go to baby group, but Iz still too snotty I think. I think she'd enjoy it still, but not fair on the others. Rubbish.
Jaggy, glad it's calming down a bit now Sorry AF got you.. at least it was light and painless!
Too, I had some spotting yesterday, but no actual AF, argh! Sorry you're still feeling so completely rubbish - hope you got a doctor's appointment this morn. As for how much Calpol you can give, no idea - Iz doesn't like it! (not entirly sure she's my child - I love the stuff ). However, I do give her copious amounts of Nurofen instead... I often worry about how much is too much when she goes through a bout of being ill and I seem to be dosing her up lots.
Ninja, I'm shocked at how high your childcare rates are - though not really surpised, knowing where you are. Everything's such a ridiculous price around there! We looked at moving there briefly (lived there for three yrs), but realised we couldn't afford it really - very glad now, as there'd never be a hope of me going back to work at that price...
In laws round tomorrow to decorate the lounge, which means I have to clear it today.. they're also coming to stay, followed by my mother afterwards. All at a time when I have loads of work to do. I feel like a duck at the moment, calm on the surface, but underneath.... . Hoping it is AF making an arrival because that would explain my panic (I'm normally a calm soul!).
Childcare costs in Italy are much better (I'm paying 400 a month for 25 hours a week - ie 3 days ish) because the ratios are lower so less staff. I thought this would be a real issue for me for A at nursery. It isnt at all, the nursery is amazing and I am more than happy with staff and ratios.
dd1's school however - ratios a BIG issue imo. A teacher plus assistant and 12 3 year olds = recipe for disaster. The teacher is a bit shouty and does time outs and things I have discovered through dd1's role play playing. I am so not sure about the school but dd1 seems happy and I think an Italian pre school might scare her.
Work a bit grim here - my dad and dh not getting on. MEN!
Sympathies to all ill and af/non af sufferers.
Apologies for me me me.
Hope all good with dream and return to work!
Ninja, snap on childcare costs! Little A's nursery is exactly the same, although we're so near each other I guess it's obvious the nurseries will cost the same. Little A's one day a week is costing something over £300 per month, and it increases by the same amount for each additional day. I'm hoping she'll only need to go 2 days a week when I'm back at work, with my Mum and
DH taking a day each.
Pomme so glad you like DD2's nursery, how frustrating about DD1's school though. Fwiw I think I'd do the same as you, and keep her in the school if she's happy. After all the Italian preschool could have all the same problems with the added stress of a different language. It's a tough choice for you though, I hope it resolves itself.
So sorry to hear about poorly No Brookers and mini No Brookers. Little A and I are firmly back in the sickroom. We're both v unwell at the moment, which particularly sucks because LO has nursery tom and I have a sedation dental appt. I'm not sure if they can do the sedation if I can't breathe through my nose, which might be a moot point if nursery won't take little A, because then we haven't arranged childcare. Btw little A caught this latest bug from an extra settling in session at nursery on Tues, so I have zero guilt about sending her back to nursery with it, so long as she's not unhappy.
How is Dream getting on? Also, Too, Raaboo, Jaggy, now that you've been back at work for a while how is it going? Have you settled into a groove? Are you managing to balance everything?
Boo to AF for returning to some and taunting others! I'm so broody right now that every month when I see ewcm I think crazy thoughts!! Mustn't succumb to the crazy hormones though, I have to have faith that Mr Right is out there (and that I won't screw up TWICE) so little A will have a sibling before too too long. Sigh.
Also, good luck to Musical getting through all your work with so many visitors! I share your worries about giving little A too much medicine over a period of time by the way. I record every dose I give her on my phone (to make sure I'm spacing out the doses correctly and not going over the 24 hour limits) and I use my records to make sure I don't go over the 3 day limit. So far I've been able to stick to less than 3 days of medicine, and at least 3 days between bouts (despite weekly colds from nursery!). It's nerve-wracking though!
p.s. Whilst feeling particularly sorry for myself a few days ago I indulged in some retail therapy, buying a bag that was way more expensive than my usual £20 from a local shop. In fact I'm a total scrooge about paying for bags so I've never had a treat like this before. It was delivered today and I'm in love!! A bright red satchel from the Cambridge Satchel Company, big enough to hold my laptop
as if I ever take my laptop out of the house now that I have my Nexus 7 It's so bright and shiny and beautifully matches the new red Maclaren XLR we got for little A. I'm such a sucker for bright red things! It's just the only thing that's made me smile it quite a long time!
Ooooh, I love the Cambridge Satchel Co bags, Scream! Not that I have one, I just drool over them in magazines. And at matching your bag to your buggy. Brooking hard that you and little A recover quickly, although I'm not sure going to the dentist is something to aspire to.
Jaggy, hope the rest of your day passed quickly.
Ninja, Ebaying stuff????? How do you stand the excitement?
Musical, hope you feel calmer now! Your duck analogy made me giggle.
Of course I didn't get a doctor's appt, why would I be able to make a doctor's appt? I think I'm just difficult - it must be my fault. I wanted an emergency appt for tomorrow because I don't have transport today. DH is off tomorrow, though, so I can have the car. Apparently even though they have emergency sessions every day at 11.30 and then again at 4.30, you have to phone on the day to book one. <head explodes with rage> I said 'oh for God's sake, every time I phone I get told I can't make an appt and I'll have to phone back another day' and the woman just ignored me and reiterated that I could have an appt today if I wanted one. They must get so many repeat calls wasting their time because it's all so bloody complicated! If they would just book the bloody appts when people ring I bet they could halve their admin staff. This sort of thing winds me up because it's my job to fix broken processes so that they deliver what the customer wants and this is a classic example of not listening to the customer. I bet their number one request is 'I want to make an appt' and their response is 'no, sorry, phone back between 8.30 and 9.30 in 3 days' time'. The mind boggles.
Pomme, glad A's nursery is working out so well. Hope DD1's pre-school shakes down a bit and that she's happy there. And grr to your dad and DH! MEN! <sniffs and tosses head>
I am a bit miserable. Stupid diarrhoea bug, stupid cold, stupid nurse saying I could only eat bread and eggs. Stupid DH being really dismissive when I rang him for a moan. Mum and stepdad are meant to be coming to stay tomorrow and the house is a bit grotty and anyway, I'm ill, but they miss M so much now they live in Aberdeen and it would be great to have them around to play with her, so I don't want to cancel them. And I changed the sheets yesterday only for the dog to come in from his walk today and leap on the bed with black muddy paws, grr! DH and M will be home soon and I haven't got the energy to do anything.
Work is not too bad scream, I'm just feeling a bit worn out
and like I never have enough time for anything. I'm not quite in a groove yet as I work 3 different shift times so have to figure each one out. This 6 am one is definitely hardest!
I've booked a few days off to coincide with DS1's nursery being on holiday and in service days so am looking forward to that.
Got to finish my break and go back to work now, d will try to do a less me me me catch up later!
I'm a stressed Brooker. Lots of family stuff going on just now, including imminent heart surgery for my Dad. He lives in London in an incredibly messy and dirty house. I've spent the last week trying to convince DH we should go down and help him tidy a room (at least) so he has a place to recover after his surgery. It's not a great environment to take little T into at only 7 weeks, but he doesn't need to come into contact with anything dirty.. He'll sleep in his pram or be in our arms - right? I'm not putting him at risk?
Next stess - my little brother is having a baby. However he and his girlfriend both have learning disabilities. Social services are involved, and I hope will support then as parents. However, if they want to take the baby into care I'm not sure what to do. If you were in my shoes would you let your baby nephew go into care, or would you step in and take on the baby yourself? DH is dead against taking in the baby, and I know it's a MASSIVE commitment. But still...
Scream I'm glad some deserved retail therapy has made you smile. When u separated from my ex I bought two kittens. They gave me something to smile about. Changing how you think about things after seperation takes a little while, but soon you'll realise you've done it.
Jaggy I hope you start to feel more settled into work soon. I can't imagine shift work with a baby, must be really hard to get into a routine. I'm feeling much better recently for finding a routine that works for us. It's very simple - when T falls asleep after his evening feed (after 9) I give him to DH on the sofa and go to bed. DH promises to give me at least an hour. It's great
Too our doctor is like yours. Really really annoys me. They've got a little better recently, by making 10% of appointments pre book able, but they all get hooked up really quick so it doesn't really help.
Waves to everyone else, T is awake so I'm out of time.
Just a quick reply, stacks when is the baby due? What will be the age gap between your T and your nephew?
She's in early stage labour now, hence all the worries coming back up. So would be a 2m age gap. My dad has been round there today decorating (one of social services 'must do' items) and bought them some nappies. They have a crib and some clothes, but no baby monitor - dad assumed social services would provide one, but apparently my brother has to buy it. As they're both deaf it'll have to be a special one with vibrate alert.
I should get less stressed once 'what if' gives way to reality. It's just so hard not to worry.
Stacks do you think your brother and his GF will be offered lots of support from relatives if the baby lives with them? Hopefully if social services see they have enough help they'll support them in bringing the baby up themselves. It must be so hard for you, I know I would worry terribly too. On the one hand I can completely understand your DH's reluctance. You're both still new parents and your own DS will be his priority. Plus if the baby does end up with you what's to stop your brother and his GF from going on and having another if they know it will be cared for by family? Would you be able to take in another too? On the other hand, like you I don't think I could bear to see any relative of mine or DH's go into care, particularly a niece or nephew. I think the guilt would be too much. I really hope it doesn't come to you having to make that decision and that SS are able to help in a way so that the baby is safe to live with your brother.
Re your Dad. I'm going to sound hard now...but, there is no way I would take a 7 week old baby to stay in a filthy house. And I say that as someone who is not bothered about a bit of untidyness or dust. But dirt? No way. Is there anyone else that could help him instead? I'm guessing it means you staying over at least one night because of distance? Presumably if your Dad is currently decorating your brother's house he is capable of doing a bit of cleaning and tidying if he wanted to? If it's a case of him not being bothered then really I wouldn't be offering to help, especially if it meant having to take a tiny baby with me who still has a fragile immune system.
I'll be back for a proper catch up later. Thinking of you Stacks.
Gosh, Stacks, that's a hard one. I would want to take the baby, but like you say it is a massive commitment and I'd have to think it through a lot. I suppose it's all the things like money and support and what effect it would have on going back to work and all sorts of things. Is the baby likely to be deaf too? I hope I'm not being offensive, but the baby's state of health would be something to take into consideration also. I hope ss help your brother and gf keep the baby themselves.
I'm not sure you can honestly do that much cleaning for your dad with a 7 week bf baby in tow. Babies just take up so much attention! I think it's a lovely thing to want to do, though. Besides, does your dad have hoarder tendencies? He might not be happy with you moving/chucking stuff if so (according to a programme I saw, which might be completely off the wall, so feel free to ignore me).
Stacks whilst I admire your concern, there is no way I could cope with a 7 week old, plus a newborn too. Especially as you are bf'ing T which can be so time consuming which is good for bonding, but stressful if there is another baby screaming in the background. I find it hard enough bf'ing ds2 with a 27 month old in the background, and ds1 is generally not hungry and is old enough to understand that I have to give milk to his brother! If it were me, I know I would always put T first as he would be mine. I think if I were in your shoes I would hope they get enough support from social services and their families for it not to be an issue. If it becomes an issue, then I'd think foster care might be best, and if there is no hope of them keeping him, then look at the option of adoption when he is say 12 months or older, when it might be a bit easier to cope with two, but then financially could you cope with two? Would you be able to return to work or not or would childcare costs be too much? Or do you not want to go back to work anyhow? Is there anyone in either side of their families who could take him in who doesn't have a newborn of their on to cope with already?
I guess what I was trying to say is, that your first child is so special and you only get that time once, and it can be hard work but so rewarding, and that experience could be jeopardised if you had another newborn thrown into the mix, and I might sound harsh but I think I'd end up resenting the nephew for spoiling the time with my own first born, for making it very hard work and for taking away the enjoyment of it all. Maybe speak to some people on the multiple birth threads for an insight into what their lives are like dealing with 2 young babies?
Seriously stacks, as you know I have my dts, and I adore them, but its so f*cking hard, so different to one baby, and there are so many things you can't do (with 3 under 2 as we had at least) -like swimming, baby massage, comforting them when they're both ill, wearing them in a sling if the other is screaming too- and I've found i can carry the other one with one in a sling, but it's awkward and not for long iykwim. My dts cry a lot more than I ever left DD to cry, even if my dad or someone has taken DD outside, or for a swim (as I can't ) or something, and I'd struggle to not feel a bit resentful my pfb got sidelined so much for my nephew. It will be a bit like having twins. It is very different, and will only get better as they grow p, quite a bit
^ that sounds really negative, and it is, because I'm feeling exhausted and down about things atm. But that is the reality of it. We are still in illnes, not sleeping, constant crying. As soon as you pick one up to comfort, the other howls even more. DH and I have struggled this weekend, we really have and thats with 2 adults, 2 babies 10 months tomorrow and one toddler, near;y 29 months but she's been very good this weekend.
I loved loved loved being with DD as a baby. Hence getting pg again now, when she was 10 months! I am in various twin support groups online, the similar theme being that its hard, and singleton parents can't 'get' it til they've live it, and NO, having a 12 month age gap IS NOT LIKE HAVING TWINS!!!! (you won''t believe how many people think they have had the same experience, but withou having had twins