Would you like to be a member of our research pane? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

November 2012 - all the babies have arrived

(1000 Posts)
StuntNun Wed 12-Dec-12 23:16:45
ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Wed 12-Dec-12 23:37:01

Marking spot.

Sophiathesnowfairy Wed 12-Dec-12 23:43:14

Holding my place for 4 am!

Catbag Thu 13-Dec-12 01:53:39

2am check in <<bleary emoticon>>

kirrinIsland Thu 13-Dec-12 02:34:28

Marking place

ComradeJing Thu 13-Dec-12 03:36:40

marking place (lovely afternoon here)

Sophiathesnowfairy Thu 13-Dec-12 03:50:25

Here. I am again almost on cue!

DebussyHead Thu 13-Dec-12 04:13:39

Marking place with bleary eyes

rowingdowntheriver Thu 13-Dec-12 05:22:52

Morning, marking my place

Lane81 Thu 13-Dec-12 07:09:00

Last thread of 2012?

PetiteRaleuse Thu 13-Dec-12 07:36:28

Marking place. We're very chatty I doubt this will be the last of 2012

Morning check in!

has anyone else noticed their little one might prefer to sleep on their tummy? I thinkL might. Last night she slept on top of me with her head on my shoulder from 10.30pm to 2.30am! She would have probably slept longer if my arm hadn't started aching! Think it helps with her wind too... Going to get gripe water today as she'll be 4 weeks tomorrow!

Catbag Thu 13-Dec-12 08:51:54

tinkerbell Both of mine prefer to sleep on their tummies, which is why I think that they won't sleep if I try to put them down and will only sleep on my chest. So that's how we sleep everynight :s

Catbag Thu 13-Dec-12 08:53:04

And in the day too. No napping in moses baskets/ swinging chairs/ cots or car seats here sad

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Thu 13-Dec-12 09:26:16

I have found that putting my LO on a muslin in his basket (& did it with DD too) avoids vom going through the sheet every time, although doesn't always work.

However, yesterday I found that if I rubbed the muslin against my (bare) upper chest and warmed it slightly (& I assume added my 'smell') DS went down in his basket more easily, without the grunting & groaning & waking up.

Just a thought...

YellowWellies Thu 13-Dec-12 10:19:21

Woo good tip Chunky!

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Thu 13-Dec-12 10:27:58

Marking place - got days and days to catch up on as its been pretty hectic.

Hello I'm going to join in. Dd2 was born on 16th smile

Hi everyone, marking my place.

daisychain76 Thu 13-Dec-12 11:54:24

Welcome and congrats kentucky. Marking place.

marking place x

ShellyBobbs Thu 13-Dec-12 12:52:34

Hello fellow sleep cravers grin

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Thu 13-Dec-12 13:23:14

Amazing! Both DD and DS asleep at the same time. But in my bed, not so good!

Brockle Thu 13-Dec-12 14:49:04

Hello new thread! Mobile will prob post this twice so sorry! I wil prob just lurk on this one too ...

Brockle Thu 13-Dec-12 14:49:06

Hello new thread! Mobile will prob post this twice so sorry! I wil prob just lurk on this one too ...

horseylady Thu 13-Dec-12 15:36:23

Someone slap me. I am not feeding my baby poison by giving him formula, he will not die.
Even thinking about starting to bf will break me. Expressing was stopped because my supply was low and the stress was getting to me. He's sometimes sleeping through.

I will be doing it for me, not him. That is wrong. I am not a failure even though I feel like the worst mum in the world.

Move on horsey, move on.....

StuntNun Thu 13-Dec-12 16:09:27

Horsey okay we've all been lying to you, it really is poison! wink Are you thinking about relactating? It would be possible but I think you are just torturing yourself. I persevered with breastfeeding DS1 through his breast refusal and ultimately it led to PND and failure to bond. I didn't start to build a real bond with him until he was 4 or 5 and we may never have the close relationship I have with the other two boys. So bfing isn't necessarily the best thing you can do for your child. My DS1 would have been better off on formula. IMO you have done the right thing. Can you allow yourself to regret that breastfeeding didn't work out without blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault, circumstances conspired against you.

TheDetective Thu 13-Dec-12 16:09:59

If you are a failure then so am I!

But I don't feel I failed? I feel I did what I could for as long as I could!

You would fail if you weren't feeding your child. End of!

Both me and DS seem happier for the decision.

Please don't feel any guilt. You have absolutely no need to. You are doing the best for your son right now.

YellowWellies Thu 13-Dec-12 16:12:39

Horsey slap! You are the best Mum in the world for E.

I think it would be incredibly difficult at this point to try to relactate - is that even the right word? BFing isn't just for Mum it is for baby too but seriously hon with Christmas coming up and the family stress that that entails - does it sound like a good idea to you?

TheDetective Thu 13-Dec-12 16:14:06

Horsey breastfeeding was breaking the bond I had quickly built with Oscar. I could feel it ebbing away. I made the decision as hard as it was because I was not going to allow myself to feel that way any longer. I'm finding feeding him a pleasure now and am not dreading him waking up. I spent the last week feeling like bf was my life. And I hated it. Which was strange as I didn't at first. Maybe I'm weak, but it all just got too much in the end.

No regrets.

PetiteRaleuse Thu 13-Dec-12 16:16:21

Horsey if that is the case then I am CHOOSING to poison both my children and a bad mum for not liking breastfeeding.

No you are not poisoning your baby. Formula saves lives, and the mental health of many many struggling mums.

And formula feeding is not failing. It is feeding your baby. How is that failure?

Kyzordz Thu 13-Dec-12 16:27:47

You're not a failure at all Horsey, please don't think like that. It's easier said than done though, I know I felt a failure too when making the decision to FF. I did it because if I hadn't I really don't think we'd have bonded as the stress of sitting and expressing constantly because he couldn't/wouldn't latch on and the lack of sleep had me sat in tears in a corner all the time. Formula isn't poison anyway - I can't argue breast milk isn't better BUT formula is perfectly fine too smile

Sorry to hear J is the same tits, poor little fella sad

My LO likes sleeping on his front too bluetinkerbell, he sleeps alot easier on my front, especially if he seems a bit distressed at all for any reason.

Thanks all for the tips smile I've raised his bed so his head end is higher, and I check his temperature every four hours (or more if i'm feeling particularly neurotic!) and so far it hasn't gone above 37C, it's been between 36.5 and 37 every time. He's still feeding roughly every 4 hours but sometimes will be happy with as little as an ounce and a half if I left him to it sometimes, which doesn't seem like an awful lot at all sad On the other hand he has only been sick once and he did drink another couple of ounces after he was sick to sort of make up for it. I'm pretty much feeding him on demand at the moment, for example he had 3oz at 2pm, really didn't want more, and then he's just had another 1.5oz, and doesn't want anymore again. Normally he'd have about 4-6oz and go four hours, but I'm thinking he's best off drinking when he wants to drink, to keep his energy to fight his cold.

If he wants to sleep do I let him sleep? He doesn't go massive periods, longest is five hours at night and still the four hours in the day. I guess it depends how much he's drinking and how he is in himself?

He pulled a stunt on me today. Just finished 3oz, sat upright but asleep (I keep him like that after feeds because of the silent reflux, he does have the infant gaviscon now but still) and he started coughing and then choking. He brought up the tiniest little bit of milk and stopped breathing for what seemed like forever. My mum was here with us but what if she wasn't? What if he does it and I can't make him stop? I'm utterly petrified. I know he's all bunged up and struggling with mucus but do they frequently cough/choke/splutter? He doesn't seem to have much of a cough at all unless he's just fed. I'm assuming it's because it's irritating his throat as he's just been using it, or something? He will cough if he cries too, and also will cry when he's coughed. Often it sounds like he's bringing something up but it never results in any mucus coming out, just him pulling a face and swallowing it back down. After the sicky/choking episode he had some thick green candles that the nasal sucky thing got out with the aid of cotton buds. He sounded lovely and clear after that for all of five minutes!

I'm not sure I'm cut out for this you know :'( This little person, the most important, wonderful person in my life depends entirely on me and I just don't think i'm good enough for him. I'm sure he deserves so much better, someone much more competent and calm and collected than I am. After his choking earlier I just went to pieces, and it wasn't even that serious in the grand scheme of things, I know worse happens to them but I really fell apart. What use am I to him? I need to pull myself together and I know this, but saying it and doing it are very different. I have only just gotten over being scared of being left alone with him, and now it's back sad I hope it goes away again

PetiteRaleuse Thu 13-Dec-12 16:46:34

Kyzordz, it might help to buy a decent first aid book and read it. I was recommended 'when your child is ill'

I bought it because DD1 was never ill until she became mobile, at which point she started banging her head, a lot. I needed to understand signs of concussion. Having a little knowledge does help not to panic.

It's scary being so responsible for such a tiny being, but babies aren't as fragile as they look - they've fought the hardest battle through pregnancy andbirth. As long as you are vigilant and get help when you think something is wrong you will be doing a brilliant job.

With your baby being full of a cold his breathing will be a little strange and it does seem like they are choking sometimes.

PetiteRaleuse Thu 13-Dec-12 16:49:39

Mght be worth getting him checked out in the morning though. A Dr would listen to his chest to see hw much phlegm is in there.

pikz Thu 13-Dec-12 16:55:52

horsey you are doing an amazing job. I too keep thinking I've failed as the breast feeding is just not working properly and it's taking all my strength to keep on expressing all his feeds. For ever step forward with Brest feeding we take 2 back it feels like.

There are 3 of us out of 8 of the NCT class struggling badly. The other 5 make it look like a walk in the park. It works so differently for every person and every situation.

You are an ace mum. Keep faith in that.

Big hugs all round.

Kyzordz Thu 13-Dec-12 16:59:42

Thanks petite, I'll order that book. He was seen on Monday and the doctor said he's really healthy, chest was clear, just has a snotty nose. It might help me to feel better going tomorrow too though. I have his six week check Tuesday and doctors Wednesday too and I won't hesitate to take him to be seen over the weekend. Logically I know he's fine, it just panics me when they do things like bringing stuff up and then not breathing. It must've only been for about ten seconds that I couldn't get him to breathe but that's long enough for me!

PetiteRaleuse Thu 13-Dec-12 17:06:10

It'll put your mind at rest to take him in and ask what you should do if it happens again.

My LO has funny breathing - has done since birth but it is improving, possibly linked to her heart murmur which is sorting itself out - feels like she's doing apnea sometimes, it worried me at first, so I understnd your panic.

PetiteRaleuse Thu 13-Dec-12 17:07:30
Izzybuzzybuzzybees Thu 13-Dec-12 17:07:59

Popping in to mark place. Will try keep up this time!

sweetpea1112 Thu 13-Dec-12 17:11:02

Horsey I know exactly how you feel. Oscar is ff because our issues with bf were causing me not to bond well with him & I didn't want every feed to be a battle. We are both so much happier now but that doesn't stop the guilt. My SIL had a baby 2 weeks before me & is bf her baby and I find it hard to hear about how her feeding is going - especially as her baby actually sleeps at nightenvy but I hope the guilt will ease with time.

Sorry, this probably isn't particularly helpful for you but just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in these feelings.

YellowWellies Thu 13-Dec-12 17:12:23

Just has HV over. Jonas is still putting on 1/2 lb a week so is now on the 91st centile for his gestation! He's a grand 9lb 9oz am chuffed grin. But his thrush still isn't really shifting sad

Also asked the HV about restarting running and she warned that doing too much exercise can make the milk bitter (from lactic acid?) so to take it easy if I intend to keep nursing - is this true, it sounds like an old wives tale?

daisychain76 Thu 13-Dec-12 17:23:14

Kyz the fact you are so concerned about your LO tells me you are a great mum ~ l would be equally scared in that situation and l‘m on dc3. On a practical note some nct groups, surestart centres and clinics offer baby first aid courses. These early days are often so scary and stressful but it does pass and you will start to feel more and more confident as time goes by.

ValiumQueen Thu 13-Dec-12 17:28:20

horsey <<slaps around face several times in a very loving empowering way>> that is all smile

horseylady Thu 13-Dec-12 17:28:42

Kyz -- choking is a regular occurrence here. ESP when he had his cold.

Thanks everyone. Had a rather unpleasant encounter. Ended up me being rather evil back teaching the cow a lesson and asking her what would she prefer a starving baby? What if he'd been adopted?! How would she like to see him fed then? I'm not a nasty person, I hate things like that. But how insensitive?!

Sadly I got in my car and cried and posted (dh didn't answer his phone).

horseylady Thu 13-Dec-12 17:36:28

Kyz to add, it's something that used to happen at every feed, but like his grunting, it's something he is slowly growing out of. Scary though to just suddenly start doing it!! Scared my mum when he did it to her. Last week he was choking and you could see the milk rising up his throat. Was horrid. But ok apparently!!

Vq - thanks!!

Marking my place

ValiumQueen Thu 13-Dec-12 17:46:05

Remember, when a baby is born, a mummy is born too. We do not expect them to get things right first time. We learn together.

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Thu 13-Dec-12 17:46:36

There are always stupid people that make judgements without knowing the facts horsey. It's not helpful to anyone. Yes, breast is best & yes the HV/MW/medics have to promote bfing, esp as so few people actually try to do it but formula isn't poison. It's like bm is gold, formula isn't mercury, its more like silver. And who would turn down silver jewellery if offered??!!

Those people with sore bottoms - if it isn't piles, it might be an anal fissure. If you've had a bit of a hard poo, you can get a little tear, which hurts when you go & bleeds a little. A bit of sudocrem applied after using moist toilet tissue to clean the area should help...

Have had DS weighed again today. He's gained 310g since last Friday - 10.5ish oz. Have no idea how that's happened. I used to feed DD like mad, & she'd gain the usual/expected 5-6oz a wk. So strange how every baby is different, even how differently your own body behaves each time. I now have a 9lb 13oz hefferlump.grin

YellowWellies Thu 13-Dec-12 17:54:48

Chunky 10.5oz - your name seems apt is that what you've been feeding him? smile Well done!!!

Awwww hugs horsey you are doing what is right for you and your baby x I can't stand my hv - she's about 22 and in 37, I've got 3 kids and work on a maternity ward so probably know more than she does, yet my friend who's a hv of similar age and kids - I ask advice from all the time, I think they should match the hv to the mum ie young hv with teenage mums etc...

Dottie loves sleeping on her front and during the day when I'm next to her she sleeps on her front in her travel cot.

Those having problems getting LO's to sleep in crib - have you tried swaddling?? I had Dottie sleeping on me for the 1st 10 days until someone suggest I try swaddling again (tried in hospital but she just yelled so thought she didn't like it) do I gave it a go and she settles sooo much better - it works better on babies who's startle reflex is quiet sensitive ie with noise or movement etc..

Am loving these quick feeds and have realised bf isn't painful or uncomfortable anymore!!!

horseylady Thu 13-Dec-12 18:20:57

He had as much breast milk as I could give him. I know that. It does upset me that I can't bf him. But he's not going to die. She just really upset me while I was quietly minding my own business feeding MY baby.

sweetpea1112 Thu 13-Dec-12 18:36:42

Horsey There seems to be such a stigma attached to ff. I admit to feeling quite embarassed/ashamed to be seen ff in public as I can guess what some people must be thinking. I know my baby is healthy and happy but I still can't shake the feeling that people look down on me for it sad

On the subject of bottle feeding - does anyone have any advice about getting Oscar to take more at each feed & therefore going longer between feeds (and maybe actually sleeping at night!) At the moment he tends to 'snack' throughout the day - occasionally taking the odd big feed. My MW and HV have both said to feed on demand but do you think I should try to enourage him to take more at each feed and if so how?

DonnaDoon Thu 13-Dec-12 18:53:56

Horsey she knows SweetFA about anything to do with you and YOUR baby ... unfortunately there is know alls throughout your childs life to come...I mean there will be dinner ladies in the future sneering at what you put in his lunchbox FFS (sending unmumsnetty hugs)

ValiumQueen Thu 13-Dec-12 19:04:37

horsey who was this who upset you? A stranger?

horseylady Thu 13-Dec-12 19:05:44

Sweetpea - I feed ds when he's hungry. This now tends to be between 3 and 4 hours. Overnight he goes until he wakes. In the early days we were trying to get weight on him but I was advised to feed up to 2 hours from the start of one feed to the start of the next and to try not to go shorter times. So if he fed at one not to feed until 3. Eventually he went longer on his own back, I also make sure he's fully awake before feeding too otherwise he wouldn't eat.

I don't know how you measure out how much your feeding him but I use 150 to 200 ml per kg of body weight. For the day. Then split into the number of feeds he has per day. So he's 4.7kg (ish) which means about 1000ml per day (ish rounded up). He has 5/6 feeds a day so I measure out 200ml per feed. He very rarely finishes a feed but if he's hungry then there's always food there. I have never been able to feed him any more than he wants to take whether that's 3oz or 7oz. I also dont feed him for hours on end. The longest he's fed for is about 50mins and that was when he was ill.

I've been led by him and listened to what the mws and hv said. All have been brilliant in saying what to do etc. As I was sensibly told, we eat and drink different amounts over the day and each day. Babies are the same and cleverer than we think!

ValiumQueen Thu 13-Dec-12 19:11:48

DD2 wrote to Santa today. She asked for Juice.

YellowWellies Thu 13-Dec-12 19:14:50

Horsey it could have been a bottle of EBM for all she knew! Still at least you don't get dodgy old blokes leering at your boobs (their wives looking at you like you're a whore!) and chavs tutting disgustedly at BFing as 'dirty'.However you feed someone will pass comment. Ignore ignore ignore x

YellowWellies Thu 13-Dec-12 19:18:44

Oh and the classic line if you BF after 6 weeks 'you're doing that for you not baby' - personally Jonas wasn't capable of catering for himself at 6 weeks! Seriously no matter how you feed someone will judge.

TheDetective Thu 13-Dec-12 19:20:38

I had something really poignant to say. I forgot it. Fucksake!

I have a contented parrot, I mean baby on my shoulder. He likes to go to sleep on my chest, head on shoulder, bum patted and jiggled up and down hmm. I swaddle him once put down.

I've achieved lots in the end today. We are going to go out tomorrow. I feel human. Almost. The best bit of the day being cuddles with my baby! He is so yummy!

I'm going to bed soon. We are taking shifts tonight! I'm on the late shift lol!

ValiumQueen Thu 13-Dec-12 19:22:07

YW I fed DS in the doctors surgery today and had a couple of wives glaring at me, with the 'whore' look. Thankfully I couldn't give a fuck grin

sweetpea1112 Thu 13-Dec-12 19:22:46

Thanks Horsey, that is sensible advice. I don't want to force a routine on him at 15 days old so will start with the 2 hour rule and see how we go. I think I have also been guilty of turning to the bottle every time he cries so will pay more attention to his hunger cues.

ValiumQueen Thu 13-Dec-12 19:24:19

I must admit I am envious of FF mummies being able to share night feeds. It is relentless. Still in 6 week hell.

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Thu 13-Dec-12 19:24:45

I was going to say similar YW as I know other bfing mums that have been told its disgusting, to sit in the toilet to feed & people have suggested they express/use bottles when out or stay in the house to feed!!! People have strong opinions about childrearing - whether its dummy vs thumb, co-sleeping, weaning at 4/5/6mths, blw vs purees, potty training, walking, developmental milestones, childcare, schools etc. You have to do what's best for your family.

PetiteRaleuse Thu 13-Dec-12 19:25:05

Sweetpea they should eat of course if they are hungry, but you can increase the gap between feeds by distracting him. Of course you don't want him crying with hunger, but if you distract him by showing him pictures, or toys, or singing, or just chatting to him and as long as he seems happy ie not crying you can push, in theory, the feeds apart by a few minutes. He'll then, in theory, eat more as he will have waited longer. It's how they do it over here. LO is eight weeks and until this growth spurt it was working well. As she seems to be on a growth spirt now she is having 3oz every two to three hours, rather than 4 to 5 oz every four to five hours.

It's all theory but it did work for me with dd1. Don't do it at night though, as theyneed night feeds to be calm, quick and in as dark lighting as you can manage, otherwise you'll be awake for longer than you might otherwise be.

YellowWellies Thu 13-Dec-12 19:27:17

VQ I have a special glare reserved for wives of the generation brainwashed that breast was inferior and for those of the sisterhood who think that boobs belong to their fellas only! sadly that includes my MIL I don't give a rats ass now smile

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Thu 13-Dec-12 19:29:07

Occassionally I think that VQ but my DH is so useless at waking up, I'd have to wake him up to feed the LO, so what's the point?

TheDetective Thu 13-Dec-12 19:29:43

VQ if they actually wake for them... hmm.

This is why I am doing the late shift!!

TheDetective Thu 13-Dec-12 19:30:52

Chunky do we have the same other half?!!

YellowWellies Thu 13-Dec-12 19:31:05

VQ we're dipping in and out of the 6 week growth spurt fog too - not as bad as earlier in the week. Little sod fed 2 hourly last night. Keep going - we can do it!!!

sweetpea I keep my girls on a strict routine. I have to or I will be feeding 24 hours a day if I let them demand feed. With twins (and I don't imagine a singleton is different), the advice is to keep them topped up with milk so they sleep better at night. The twin parents I have spoken to (one of them is my GP) all say to keep them regularly fed/topped up in the day, even if that means waking them. I feed the girls at 7:30am, 10:30, 2pm, 5pm (this is a split feed, 30z at 5pm & 2oz at 6pm), then they wake around 10:30pm. I let them wake themselves at night. Currently it is around 4:30am. I always wake the other twin (or I would be up and down like a yoyo).

Before I took this advice and let them demand feed (like the NICU suggested), I never got any sleep. At one point, I did 6 night feeds between 11pm & 5am (3 per baby). I was exhausted and broken.

With regards to them snacking. Like horsey said, feed them when they are awake. When I wake them, I open the blinds & curtains, open their sleeping bags, sing to them and only take them out their cots and feed them when they are completely awake. If he drifts off to sleep, open the legs of his babygro, wind him, change feeding positions. Keep him awake for him to take his feed.

Hope this helps smile

I obviously dont sing to them and open the curtains at 4:30am! grin

PetiteRaleuse Thu 13-Dec-12 19:37:27

That's great Detective. What a change in 48 hours!

Sweetpea your Lo is still young enough to have the rooting instinct. If you tickle his cheek and he moves his mouth towards your finger then he's hungry. Otherwise he might just want a cuddle, or a bit of a rant.

i'm not sure how long the rooting instinct lasts but mine doesn't seem to do it anymore.

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Thu 13-Dec-12 19:41:37

LOL detective. Mine is currently trying to sort our WiFi rather than help with either dc at dinner hmm

TheDetective Thu 13-Dec-12 19:45:06

My labia are aching and throbbing. Not in a good way. hmm

What is going on with my bits!!

Can I just ask what others use in terms of bibs etc? I have some of the soft neck tommee tippee ones, some ikea ones, and a couple of dribble bibs, as well as muslin cloths. He seems to be a messy bottlefeeder, and brings up some too much milk with each burp. The bibs don't seem to be stopping his clothes getting damp around the neck. The number 1 teats seem to be fast for him, as he ends up with more milk down his chin than anywhere else.

I suspect I just have a slow feeder on my hands! But I'd like to make it less damp for him me.

Also, another question, what do others do about warming feeds when out? We are making up feeds in 2 batches. I know it is recommended to make each feed as needed, but I have made an informed decision not to. Given that WHO guidelines do say you can, as long as rapidly cooled and no longer than 24 hours in main compartment of the fridge. We are making feeds for the day, and then the night. So we will be taking out cold formula with us. How would you take the chill off it? I've toyed with the idea of a flask of boiling water. Seems like a lot of faff though. Is there a better idea? We have quite a few small cartons still, so will be using those initially, but in a couple of weeks we will have run out.

TheDetective Thu 13-Dec-12 19:49:08

I have to ask for everything. He sees nothing! He does what I ask - but why can't he SEE what needs doing? WHY!!!

He's playing his fucking game at the moment. He forgot to sterilise the pump when I told him I would need it before I went to bed. So now waiting for it to sterilise. He also needs to make the feeds for tonight while I'm still awake, or he might struggle later if I'm in bed and the baby is awake. Do I tell him this? Or let him learn the hard way!

Grumble grumble... I actually got more done in the 2 hours he was out the house going to the shop and getting DS from school today.hmm

Lane81 Thu 13-Dec-12 19:54:23

I'm the same vq and my DH does the nappy changes at night so he's already in the habit of getting up! Nearly started using ff today, it's looking increasingly tempting for my sanity!

horseylady Thu 13-Dec-12 19:58:55

Vq - total random woman in a coffee shop. I only went in feed him and have a drink. I was minding my own business and she was sat next me and just said formula was poison, I was dooming my babies future and setting him for failure. I quote 'thick, lazy people like you should not be allowed children'.

erm I have two masters, work as a clinical scientist and help run the family business. I own my house, am debt free bar my mortgage. I have tried for this baby for three years, you know nothing about we've been through nor what were going through or our future m. You've based this on a first glimpse of me and that I have a bottle in my hand. What if this baby was adopted? What if I'd had cancer and he'd been born to a surrogate? Would you have an issue then? No? I was bought up not to speak if I had nothing nice to say and to keep my opinions to myself unless asked for. My son will be bought up this way.

narrow minded cow

So annoyed I cried as I left.

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Thu 13-Dec-12 20:05:21

horsey that is awful. I totaLly agree with everyone else that you will encounter judgyness no matter what you do - and this goes for every parenting decision. You're doing the best thing for you and your baby. Have confidence in this. I'm sorry you're upset about it.

VQ I don't like feeding in public because of those attitudes, but I do it, and manage an "I don't give a fuck" attitude myself and would definitely stare down anyone who challenged it. I think that attitude is extremely necessary as a parent!!

sweetpea1112 Thu 13-Dec-12 20:13:00

Thank you all for the advice smile I am going to start with not feeding any more frequently than every 2 hours & trying to distract him into going a bit longer between feeds. Obviously if he is hungry though he will get fed. Hopefully he will then start to naturally take more at each feed & actually sleep at night!

The sleep deprivation is a killer sad DF is generally very good & a hands on dad but he doesn't cope well with sleep deprivation & can get snappy at me which I can't cope with at the moment. so although he offers to do the night shift every day, I don't feel like I can let him as I don't want him getting frustrared with O. Also I feel like it is my job as a mummy and as I have already 'failed' at bf I really want to crack this.

Omg horsey how friggin dare she!!! I'd have thrown my coffee over her!!!

detective Dottie is a dribbler when she has her bedtime bottle, I fold a muslin up and put that under her chin then a bib on top - I've got a few bandana type bibs from next and they seem thicker and also scrunch under her chin so find them better than others.

I feed D in the football hold on the sofa but she keeps pushing her feet on the back of the sofa which on turn sends her head and mouth with my boob flying!!!! Lil witch!!!

I'm soooo tired today even though I had a good night last night - need my bed but dh is working so all on my own hmm

Wish Dottie would finish feeding there's a tiramisu in the fridge that's calling my name!!!

TheDetective Thu 13-Dec-12 20:16:56

Oh Horsey what an absolute weirdo.

Only seriously deranged people comment on other peoples parenting 'choices' no sane person would ever dare pass comment. So I wouldn't take any interest in what they had to say. I would have bitten her head off though, so should take my own advice!

For what it is worth, I bottle fed DS1 from the start, and never had any comments made at all. I dare anyone to try it this time around!

You have been very unlucky to come across one of lifes complete nutcases.

I'm bloody angry on your behalf!!!

ComradeJing Thu 13-Dec-12 20:20:17

Horsey I'm so sorry. sad If it helps my MIL has already had a rant to me about bfing mothers with their tits out in public who should show more respect to the elderly as they might be uncomfortable to see it. hmm

It's 7am here and telling you all as cant face admitting to it in RL. I woke up last night to discover I'd fallen asleep (sitting up) whilst bfing. Ds head was pointing towards my feet and under the feather duvet and between DH & I. He wash fair way down the bed too. I don't remember waking up, getting him out of his cot or starting to feed him.

It has really, really frightened me about what could have happened sad

TheDetective Thu 13-Dec-12 20:24:58

Comrade, we've all been there when so tired we can't remember. I did the night feeds one night and had no recollection of them at all, couldn't tell you when, how often, or how long he had fed for.

DP put Oscar in the moses basket this morning. He put him in so his head was at the foot end, right at the end of the basket, with a blanket by his face. I asked him why - he couldn't tell me why! He was like errrrr did I, wtf?!

I have no suggestions, as I slept most of the night feeds hmm once he was on, waking every few minutes when he would come off for a splutter, and then go back on. blush

Hope you feel better soon.

PetiteRaleuse Thu 13-Dec-12 20:26:29

Horsey that's horrible, and I understand why you were so upset. I hope now you've had time to rant and think about it you feel better about it and realise that she was being a twat. People are so divided on this issue it seems none of us can actually get it right.

sweetpea1112 Thu 13-Dec-12 20:32:54

Comrade that must have been very scary for you. I don't think there has been a night this week where I haven't fallen asleep during a feed. I just find it impossible to stay awake.

Horsey I cant believe that there are people out there who would say things like that! I hope you don't take her comments to heart too much.

ValiumQueen Thu 13-Dec-12 20:48:29

horsey clearly she was talking out of her arse. And so bloody rude. Unfortunately this would feed into how you are feeling anyway, but please try to forget about her. She is not worth it. She wanted to upset you. Do not let her upset you any more thanks

comrade I co sleep for that very reason. I fell asleep too with DD2 and she was under my ample boobage. Had I not woken she would have suffocated. I feed DS either in the chair, and read or MN, or in bed lying down if too tired, which is a lot lately. Co sleeping has its risks, but for me it is the safer option. Accept, learn and move on smile

PetiteRaleuse Thu 13-Dec-12 21:08:25

comrade I read your post, sympathised, and just after my last post fell asleep, with LO lying on me on the sofa. And it's not a comfortable sofa, but I have been dropping off on it regularly this last week. I have no advice, no idea how to stop it happening. We're all massively tired, so I guess the best we can do is just try our best not to let it happen... There was lots of discussion in the first couple of postnatal threads about safe co-sleeping. We don't co-sleep with LO as DD1 is refusing to budge from the parental bed since LO was born, and I can't risk them being in the same bed - she kicks around so much I actually sported a rather impressive black eye for several weeks late pregnancy which raised a few eyebrows grin

comrade I often wake up and panic because I can't remember putting DS back in his crib and don't know whether he is in there or still in bed with me. I'm sure we have all done it.

MissMummy1 Thu 13-Dec-12 21:21:08

comrade I dropped off with M in bed for all of 5 mins the other night. It bloody terrified me so massive hugs to you xxxx

horsey how fecking ignorant. I am so angry for you, people are bastards! I got all arsey with a postman on saturday who judged me for being in my pjs in the afternoon so I hate to think what would have happened if some stupid cow had voiced her opinions so horridly to me like that hmm

ValiumQueen Thu 13-Dec-12 21:21:56

Oops. Just dropped Ben and Jerrys cookie dough ice cream on DSs head. He did not seem bothered. Now has a quiff.

ValiumQueen Thu 13-Dec-12 21:23:57

Imagine if that lady said that to shelley <<shudders>> grin

Hope you are feeling a bit better about it now horsey

katkit1 Thu 13-Dec-12 21:25:54

baby feeds and sleeps on his tummy on me - resting on one of his arms - i don't bother moving him because he seems comfy. he starts of feeding on his side, tummy to mummy but smooshes himself onto his tummy nearly every time.

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Thu 13-Dec-12 21:27:07

comrade my DH was trying to settle DS on his chest. When I woke up, DH was on his side, with DS behind him, where he could have rolled back on to him. Nothing bad happened that time, or with you, so I'm sure you'll be more 'awake' every time from now on because of the scare, even though it wasn't your fault iyswim.

katkit1 Thu 13-Dec-12 21:27:21

horsey - what a bitch (fuck her)

sweetpea1112 Thu 13-Dec-12 21:37:58

angry My 'D'F has just told me that MY sleep deprivation is doing HIS head in! He said it annoys him that I can't concentrate enough to have a conversation with him or tidy up after myself! ( Which is bollocks anyway as I always tidy up after everything I do) It must be so hard for him with his 7 hours unbroken sleep a night. Bastard angry

Sorry for the vent, it was either that or burst into tears all over O. Plus if I start crying now I won't be able to stop.

daisychain76 Thu 13-Dec-12 21:39:59

Horsey agree with what everyone else says. What ann ignorant person.

comrade l have fallen asleep holding. H a couple of times. Never did it with the other dcs and it scares me. l dowhat apple does ~ each time l wake up and H is quiet l have a moment of panic til l glance asleep and see him in his cot.

ValiumQueen Thu 13-Dec-12 21:45:10

sweetpea clearly he is being a twat. It is quite a common complaint with new dads. It will pass smile

Talking if pass hope you are ok honey. Missed you today, and hope all is well with wee P thanks

Sophiathesnowfairy Thu 13-Dec-12 21:48:33

Went to weighing clinic, the greedy boy has gone from 9lb13oz to 10lb 12oz in 8 days!!

He has been feeding a lot.

I think is because he was born on 91st centile and dropped to below 75th and stayed there, he is trying to get back to his line hmm

Also had DS1 2 year check on Wed, he s 33lb! Was born on 91st centile too and has stayed on it the whole time.

blonderthanred Thu 13-Dec-12 21:49:48

Jing in the early days I found it an impossible combination: painkillers, exhaustion, night (cluster) feeding, I drifted off more times than I care to remember and it terrified me. Usually only a few seconds but I once woke and DS was face down in my arms, I still feel sick to think of it.

I don't know how anyone doesn't end up doing it at some point. It's not your fault but of course you feel guilty. All you can do is be as safe as poss and if you are feeling tired then make sure the duvet is pushed far back & have no cushions. If DS is having a night when he only wants to sleep on me I put him upright in a position I don't think he can slip out of, just in case I doze for a sec.

daisychain76 Thu 13-Dec-12 21:51:48

Oh and on the stupid commentts you get about bf l found it gets worse the longer you do it. Even one of my best friends. made the comment that “when they start getting teeth that‘s a sign you should give up. l fed dd til she was around 2 but never in pubblic after she hit 1 cos l think there is sadly a bit of a stigma about extended bf (this is something l get on my soapbox about!)

horseylady Thu 13-Dec-12 21:53:17

I'm fine now. I told her in my poshest most stern voice exactly what I typed. I was so shocked that someone would dare say that?! I'm not one for confrontation but my god. It was just so many sweeping statements.

Anyway, strange lady. Her issue not mine.

Detective i use bibs and Muslins. He still gets milk everywhere.

Sophiathesnowfairy Thu 13-Dec-12 21:56:15

I do the same as garden and live is slowly getting easier. Still tired though.

Sophiathesnowfairy Thu 13-Dec-12 21:58:11

detective my tactic is to use the ones with plastic backing then a Tommee Tippee soft neck one on top for comfort.

can i ask how much all your ff babies are taking and how often and how old they are? my hv keeps going on about how i should keep increasing her milk but she wont take any more. she's 4 weeks and is taking 4oz every 4-5 hrs and is gaining weight rapidly so i dont see the issue for now. would be interested to see what other babies are doing. she isnt actually due for another 5 days btw so is still teeny as well.

sweetpea1112 Thu 13-Dec-12 22:10:36

Kentucky my ds is 2 weeks old and averages 2oz every 3ish hours. He has gained almost a pound in his birth weight at this amount.

PetiteRaleuse Thu 13-Dec-12 22:13:26

Kentucky mine is 8 weeks and on normal days drinks between 600-700ml. So about the same as yours. She's putting on weight and seems to be thriving so I'm not too fussed about it.

daisychain76 Thu 13-Dec-12 22:13:46

Eek, is anyone else watching the thing on channel 4 about adult babies? Seriiously strange!!

daisy what is it called so i can 4od it tomorrow

Izzybuzzybuzzybees Thu 13-Dec-12 22:27:26

Baby J has been feeding quite a while tonight. I'm hoping that he will go a nice stretch before waking for next feed. He takes a while to settle after feeds in middle of the night but I'm not sure what else I should be doing to help?!

MissMummy1 Thu 13-Dec-12 22:30:35

Just flicked onto it daisy - thought it was a windup. Seriously weird!

Got a feeling it's going to be a long night... Have sent dp to be early so he can get some sleep. Tonight will be the first night I feed her through the night myself (ie no ebm from dp) in an attempt to boost my supply, so instead of splitting the nightshift dp is going to try waking with us for feeds and do changes etc and keep me awake. In theory it should work brilliantly, in reality it will likely end in an argument confused

HV coming tomorrow for the first time. She phoned to arrange an appointment but apparently hasnt received any info from my mw that I've been discharged. hmm

Kyzordz Thu 13-Dec-12 22:35:06

Thankyou for the advice/comments, I read them all I just forgot who said what, but i really appreciate them all. Have had an uneventful evening so am feeling a bit better now, just waiting for lo to wake, he's due about 15 minutes ago lol! I dunno if to wake him or not, he seems to go longer stretches at night now and if he wasn't sniffly i'd see it as a godsend! Plus he doesn't seem to want more milk even when he's going longer, so I daren't keep leaving him to wake himself in case he's not getting enough. Perhaps I worry too much, he's growing like a monster!

What a horrid woman horsey!

Glad things have been a bit better for you detective

I've ordered that book petite, thankyou for the link

Kentucky my LO is 5 weeks and was drinking 4-6oz every 4 hours roughly but either that was a growth spurt or his gaviscon has made the milk thicker or it's his cold or something, but he's now usually drinking 3-5oz every 4 hours, but taking 2 hours to feed. He was born 7lb 4.5 and is 10lb 7 now so is growing well. I would usually put him off a bit rather than have him take dribs and drabs over a couple of hours but he's been snuffly and coughing after drinking so I've let him have what he wants whenever he wants it, to help him get over his cold.

I'm wondering when to go up the teat size. We use mam bottles and he has size one teats but falls asleep after the first 2-3oz, but then he wakes for more within the hour usually, so I count it as the one feed. However when I've tried the next size up he dribbles it everywhere! Not sure what is the lesser of two evils lol. Apparently the infant gaviscon makes the milk thicker, so with the bigger dose he's on he could have a full tummy after less milk I guess. I just don't want to not be feeding him enough.

Kyzordz Thu 13-Dec-12 22:39:32

Forgot to say don't beat yourself up about it comrade, I think everyone has done it at some point, I took ds to bed with me, only meant to cuddle him for a bit and spent the rest of the night waking up every couple of minutes after falling asleep with him in my arms! Why I didn't have the sense to just put him back I don't know! I think I was so tired and scared he'd wake up and start grizzling again that I just kept him there and ended up more sleepy through the constant waking up!

daisychain76 Thu 13-Dec-12 22:44:04

Kentucky l think its called “the 15 stone babies“.

Elizadoesdolittle Thu 13-Dec-12 22:49:13

Just marking place.....daisy. I am watching it. Although its scaring the hell out of me. Very freaky! Why you'd want to wear a nappy as an adult is completely beyond me.

Hope everyone has good nights. Last couple of nights have been crap but that's more down to the cough we all have rather than the baby!

kentucky DS is four weeks old and he takes 4oz about every 4 hours so the same as yours. He starts acting like he's hungry after 3 hours but I try to distract him or give him cooled boiled water so I can space his feeds. I find the longer he goes between feeds the more he takes and the longer he sleeps.

Oh and he's put on exactly 2lbs since he was born.

daisychain76 Thu 13-Dec-12 22:56:25

I know what you mean eliza. I am sure a psycologist would have a field day!

horseylady Thu 13-Dec-12 23:00:14

Between 4-7oz 6 feeds over the day. Generally 4am, 7.30, 11, 2.30, 6.30, 10pm. Within an hour of those times. Takes him 15-30 minutes to feed when well. A lot longer when he had a cold. He's nearly 7 weeks. Weighed 8pm at birth, should be around 11lb now but didn't gain as rapidly with his cold. So was 10lb when last weighed. He's making up for eating ATM!!

kyz - ds slept from11pmto 7.30am when ill. Then barely ate at 7.30. Then threw it up. I was starting to worry but it's settled down now and he's eating loads!! And not sleeping through lol!! He's not being sick either!! Yay!!! I'll probably be in trouble for him gaining too rapidly on Wednesday!! But he takes no more than he wants to.

Anyone heard from pass? Hoping p is ok?!

Those of you who have suffered from thrush what did it start feeling like?
My right nipple/boob is hurting but I'm hoping its just from an odd latch, or I suppose it could be a blocked duct? Will see what it's like at her next feed

i knew the hv was talking bollocks. silly woman. baby getting weighed tomorrow. she is in treatment for clubfoot and so will get weighed when they take her cast off and before they put on the new one. she put on 6oz in 4 days last week and i suspect she will weigh around 6lb7/9 this time. we have had ALOT of snow today. it'll be a sled for the school run tomorrow sad

horseylady Thu 13-Dec-12 23:19:29

kyz - I moved up a teat size when ds literally started screaming at the bottle in frustration and falling asleep. He was just really angry at it. It was like trying to bf all over again!!

Yes he's more dribbly but he's happier in himself and eats at his usual speed again. I didn't go back once I changed size.

ComradeJing Thu 13-Dec-12 23:26:58

Thank you for all of the advice and comments. smile

We co-slept with DD from about 4 months and I'm quite comfortable with co-sleeping - we've already done (safe) co-sleeping with DS.

I think the real shock was discovering him in bed, in such a dangerous position. When my hand first touched his face (!!) I thought it was DD's leg and that DH had put her in bed with us without me realising.

I've fallen asleep feeding before, and woken up with DD/DS in my arms two hours later. I just haven't ever woken up with either of them in a scary position before.

Anyway, no harm done, just a fright for me. smile

Long night for us, J brought back in to a&e after his breathing deteriorated, now he's all hooked up to the oxygen and NG feeding tube, had some bloods but they're still saying RSV bronchiolitus, god knows how long we'll be here.
I'm going to stay awake though until he stops trying to yank all the tubes out.

kentucky DD is 5 days old and takes 4oz every 4 hours xx

This child is driving me mad, she will not go down and I don't know why. She's cluster fed as normal all evening but normally sleeps between 10:30 and 11:30 but she's still up. I think she's gone to sleep but then she wants more boob. She's fidgeting constantly. Just put her on my boob again and she looks like she's asleep but she'll be awake if I move her. But I'm knackered. I want to sleep. And DHs breathing/snoring is ridiculous
Just want to cry sad

ComradeJing Fri 14-Dec-12 00:52:44

Oh tits much sympathy and thoughts going your way.

fatima Have you tried swaddling? Just putting her down and giving her 5 minutes without touching her to settle on her own? White noise app? Putting her on her front (turn her over to back once shes asleep) or side (wedged with rolled up towel so she cant roll to front)?

fatima same here chick - Dottie has wind and will not give it up - just feeding more, then nodding off, then making wind noises!!! Soooooo tired!!!!

Dixiebell Fri 14-Dec-12 01:10:57

For anyone up all night and able to see out the window there's supposed to be a spectacular meteor shower tonight...! Lots of shooting stars to wish on... smile

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Fri 14-Dec-12 01:17:47

Sure I will be seeing a lot of this thread (& maybe the meteor shower) as DS has gone 4hrs from start of the last feed until this, fast asleep in his carrycot. I bet this means a crappy night....

GTbaby Fri 14-Dec-12 01:32:10

I haven't caught up yet. But a request

No one person will have time to update the stats thread. So can u mk sure ur details r up to date smile
Link is in the first post of this thread.

TheDetective Fri 14-Dec-12 02:19:22

I had 4 hours sleep. Just done a feed and he is snoozing on my shoulder. Going to attempt transfer...!

He only took 2oz with this feed so now sure how long he will stay settled! He has been taking 3oz, occasionally 4. He is 3 weeks today. He was 6lb12 born and I suspect he is around the 8lb4 mark now <magic midwife weighing hands>. Will probably take him to clinic next week. Every baby has different requirements though, so as long as weight is gained, and baby is happy and contented,
although I'm wondering what one of those kind of babies look like!
wet and dirty nappies, then this is good, yes?!

Reading and posting to keep awake, I need to express again but I can't work out how to get the lid off the steriliser blush plus he is waking every few minutes, he's not being left to scream when he's so poorly, I don't give a monkies what the staff say, he's never slept not with me and they are insisting he sleeps in the cot.
Our nurse has loads of tiny ones so she's been in and out but not a lot.
I'm seeing double due to exhaustion at the moment, roll on DP's arrival at 9.30am. They've swaddled little one up to ridiculous levels so I'm making sure his temp is being checked religiously. least popular mummy on the ward ever

CandyPop Fri 14-Dec-12 04:00:10

aww more poor baby has caught my cold sad (which may I add is dh's fault for infecting me). She's got a snotty nose and must have phlegm in her throat. I'm using saline spray before every feed to try clear it. Is there anything else I can do?! Bit paranoid putting her to sleep whilst we're sleeping, what if she can't breathe ?!

She just had a feed and it was only for 7 mins on the breast . She doesn't normally feed for long (15mins average) but wondering if her cold is affecting her feed now?!

Just spent the previous feed catching up on this new thread!
horsey can't believe some ppl! Did she have anything to say after you ranted back at her? I hope she felt bad, evil woman!

Just wondering, has any bf mummy's out there had this - shooting pains in the nipple and breast about 10mins after a feed? Really really painful like someone stabbing me - enough to make me cry each time. Some times lasting an hour. It's not after every feed. Just random. I don't think it's thrush , been told that neither me and baby has it. Don't think it's a blocked duct as breasts are settled now and never engorged and also I did have mastitis and know what to look out for. Can it be let down pains? Although does this not happen during feed?! Baby had her tongue tied snipped the other day so I'm hoping its not latching issues... I'm running out of reasons !! Any suggestions?!

Hope everyone's nights are going well!

CandyPop Fri 14-Dec-12 04:03:18

Xpost tits - poor u.... Hope little one gets better soon and you get to get some rest.

Sophiathesnowfairy Fri 14-Dec-12 04:17:31

Oh dear tits why do try insist on keeping the place so damm hot, then wrap them up like a mummy then lecture so patronisingly about keeping rooms cool and not overheating them to avoid SIDS. Grr

Sophiathesnowfairy Fri 14-Dec-12 04:23:02

* candy*. Have you:

Tilted the cot up so LO is sleeping on a slant
Take here into the bathroom with you and make it steamy
Use saline drops up the nose, someone on here recommended putting them on their side and squirting up one nostril and it goes up and comes out of the other one clearing the airways, have to say perfect advice, worked a great for Olly.
I think you can pop a bit of Karvol or olbas on a tissue In the room

Unfortunately you just have to ride it out a bit, newborn colds are a nightmare.

kirrinIsland Fri 14-Dec-12 04:23:05

tits hope you manage to get some sleep and that DS is feeling better soon xxx

Sympathy to all those dealing with colds sad

N has just had a 4 hour chunk of sleep, which is the longest she's ever done overnight, but now she won't settle for love nor money. And I have to be up at 6.30 to get sorted for my interview. Hope my panda eyes don't put them off!!!

Sophiathesnowfairy Fri 14-Dec-12 04:25:51

Am sitting with baby vomit on my pj bottoms. hmm

Can't take them off as can't transfer till post hiccups.

I've managed to express enough for the next 3 feeds, he's finally asleep and I can be a bit more relaxed about SIDS because the monitors are all back on. Now for zonking out. Btw the hospital pump is amazing, it conquered non pumping boob! It's a medela symphony. smile

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Fri 14-Dec-12 04:36:12

Oh no Tits sounds exhausting. Ask someone to help with the steriliser!! But o don't think you have to sterilise with bm as much as with formula Hope you get some rest soon & J is on the mend soon.

candy my LO has both fed really quickly & lasted a long time tonight (4 & 3.5hrs) which is unusual. He is nearly 10lb but only 4+5wo so I'm torn between loving it & worrying that its not enough... He has a little sniffle as well so not sure if that's 'filling him up' so to speak.confused

Thechick Fri 14-Dec-12 05:10:59

Hey all, trying to catch up with the last thread. I have about 5 pages to go. Hope everyone is well. I just wanted to comment on the 6wk growth spurt. My LO is 9 wks + 5, but 3+5 corrected. I didn't really notice a 6 wk growth spurt so it might not be that bad for everyone. He does feed quite regularly when we are at home anyway.
Daisy I'm not getting smiles yet either to faces but to actions sometimes. I do feel its soon though.
GT LO had his jabs a week ago and the doctor prescribed paracetamol but we didn't have to use it, thank goodness, he was a bit sleepy for about 24 hours but that was it. So I'm sure calpol is fine. It's funny that your dr didn't really ask much about your mental health, that's basically all my dr was asking about and then said I seem really together.
Okay, going to finish catching up. While I have my LO sleeping on me. He's not fully asleep so can't put him down.

TheDetective Fri 14-Dec-12 05:23:40

My feeds are done. DPs turn for the next one! We got through 2 nappy changes and a clothing change thanks to vom... And as he snoozes on my shoulder I am going to ignore that wet fart I just heard and felt . hmm

Hope J get better ASAP Tits poorly babies are my biggest worry. It's so horrible, for both of you. Don't worry about being least popular. Pe

TheDetective Fri 14-Dec-12 05:24:39

Damn phone... People were drawing straws to avoid looking after me grin. Felt like a bad smell!

Dixiebell Fri 14-Dec-12 05:33:55

My LO seems to have decided 4.30 is time to get up for the day. Last two days won't go back down after 4.30 feed. Hmph.

GTbaby Fri 14-Dec-12 06:05:54

tits big hugs. To u n LO.

Ken my LO weighed 8lb at birth n was drinking 3oz every 3 hours till 4 weeks. He then moved to 4oz every three hours n is now 8 weeks. If he goes longer after a feed then ill give him 5oz. Otherwise still sticking to 4oz or he ends up leaving it n I spill it down the drain. All babies r different!

For those who are ff. do u get pains in ur boobs?? Not massive, but sharp short pains. Not always in same place. Did mention it to shit dr, but he kinda dismissed it.

Saw a lady breast feeding in westfeilds other day. Part of me thought thank god I don't have to do that, massive part of me was jealous tho. Horsey I went to a cafe on Monday n was really conscious of ff LO. Felt like ppl were judging me. N kept running thro in my head what I would say if someone had a dig.

LO has been really unsettled today. From 9 - 1 kept wingeing. DH insisted on feeding him at10 even tho he had fed at 9. Thinking crying means hunger. Stupid man. It solved the prob while he drank but then same after.
Right try get bk to sleep. Going into work today to show off LO grin. N give LO birth certificate (which I was meant to do by 4 weeks! LO now 8 weeks). Trying not to worry about what I will say if I have to feed him while there n ppl ask " why r u not bf". I'm torn between saying I didn't want to to stop further questioning or being honest n saying i wanted to but its such bloody hard work n it's heart breaking when LO just won't feed. So I can warn ppl as I had no warning that a) it's hard b) it may not work !

Night night

PetiteRaleuse Fri 14-Dec-12 07:13:10

Bad night here. Again.. She's regressing, soon she'll be trying to work out how to get back in.

GTbaby Fri 14-Dec-12 07:14:15

Damn it. Been awake two hours. Can't sleep. This IS sleep time. hmm

Sophiathesnowfairy Fri 14-Dec-12 07:31:11

I have never been asked why I am not bfing. Is none of people's business. Although I did go through the whole guilt thing when I gave up with number one big style, with number 3 and 4 I have only had minor guilt that has passed quickly. grin Number 2 never got a look in, hence the photo on fb.

Good night all round, fed at 10 ish, kept up for an hour, then at 03:50 up for 30 mins, the I had to wake him at 7. Same again tonight please.

Nurse just walked in on me calling a SATs monitor a twat and telling it to fuck off with the noise blush

Jims Fri 14-Dec-12 07:54:07

candy try googling kellymom and vasospasms. I wonder whether i've had those too, prob due to poor latch. I think things have fot a bit better since F had his tie cut but hasn't been magic solution to right breast issues - it's still not as comfy and i have an itchy rash sometimes (not on the nipple). On the plus side, since getting over his infection, he's somehow managing to pile on the weight - now up to 11-9 at 5 weeks. So nice to have a baby who does that this time. Although it could have just been the poo he'd been storing for 2.5 days which appeared last night and since my husband was home, he dealt with the poo up the back scenario while i laughed.

Another snotty baby here, it's horrible to hear them struggle. Fingers crossed F is finally well and smiley for christmas though. We've had a few smiles, we think, but he's very windy/hiccy sick-ups so is a bit prone to whinging when awake at the min. Apart from at 11pm last night when he was quite happy!!

tits hope you're out soon. It's hard work in hospital. Are you getting fed since you're bf? I hope so. Be warned breakfast was always really late when we were in

horseylady Fri 14-Dec-12 08:19:05

Tits huge hugs.

Detective ds was provb on that much at 4 weeks. I think he wees and poos most of it out!!! As I said at each feed he's offered 7oz which he might eat at only one feed, but then the might have just over 6oz at a couple then only 5 at others. Like this morning. A couple of mornings ago he drank nearly 7oz. I was told when he's regularly emptying the amount your giving them, increase it slightly. Plus use that formula to see how much they should be having. He's very rarely not followed that.

Elizadoesdolittle Fri 14-Dec-12 09:40:44

I am currently feeding from one breast, pumping from the other and mumsnetting. There's multi tasking for you smile

ValiumQueen Fri 14-Dec-12 09:41:06

tits policy is usually to feed breast-feeding mothers, although they give you normal food, not our staples of chocolate and cake. Hope LO does not need oxygen and tube feeding for long.

pass is also in hospital with little P. They are checking out her feeding issues and could possibly be UTI. Hope it soon gets sorted thanks

Evilwater Fri 14-Dec-12 09:46:30

tits- thinking of you.
horsey- some people !!!!

LO is ten weeks today. I'm off into town to do Xmas shopping groan..... LO is spending time with his aunt. She loves to show him off. smile smile

Been chatting to my friend who lives on the other side of the city, she has been telling me how children in her area won't have a hot meal at Xmas. Due to the cuts.. sad sad.

Evil.

pikz Fri 14-Dec-12 10:04:07

Tits huge hugs. I did laugh at being caught calling things a twat.

Between LO and DP with man flu I have had zero sleep.

Lane81 Fri 14-Dec-12 10:12:24

tits and pass thinking of you, must be horrible to be back in hospital. Hope your LOs get better soon! thanks

StuntNun Fri 14-Dec-12 10:19:21

Sorry to hear things are so stressful Tits, I hope you get some improvement soon. How are the rest of your family holding up with you in hospital?

J has fed eight times in the last 12 hours! He was four weeks yesterday so it doesn't seem like the right time for a growth spurt. I frightened myself last night by falling asleep while feeding him. It's so dangerous, I'll have to find the best way to stay awake tonight.

PetiteRaleuse Fri 14-Dec-12 10:43:33

Evil I am shock at the cuts over there at the moment. It is children who are suffering the most. Also shocked at how many ads are on TV for short term loans. It's sad there is so much need and sad that these companies are being allowed to exploit people in need like that.

Tits and Pass, sending wishes for speedy recoveries. At least by Christmas the LOs should all be on the mend and home.

PetiteRaleuse Fri 14-Dec-12 10:46:51

Oh, also, please don't feel you have to be at the hospital 24/7 with them. It was horrible when I had to leave LO in hospital a few weeks ago overnight, but it did me so much good to be able to have a good night's sleep. It made me feel so much stronger and able to look after LO, and chatting on here helped overcome the guilt I felt. I stopped being a tearful mess, which I was after 40 hours or so zero sleep.

I know you should have the bedroom dark and quiet for night feeds but that's when I can't keep my eyes open and worry I'll fall asleep with D in my arms - I but a brightish light on and if dh is still at work put the tv on or iPad and headphones and so far I've not dropped her lol - She might mess about going to bed in the first place but she's quiet good in the middle of the night and takes a quick 20 min feed and goes back down - hope it continues!!

Piddling down with rain here and I'm going to a friends for lunch so feeding her up so I might actually be able to eat cake nom nom!!

PetiteRaleuse Fri 14-Dec-12 10:58:08

I have a question. Anyone else's baby a little crusty, for want of a better word?

LO has cradle cap, which I will deal with using vaseline (top tip) but she also seems to have it round her eyebrows and behind her ears. I thought behind her ears it was dried milk, cleaned it, which seemed to hurt her, then the next day it was back, and then some. Anyone got any magic solutions? Or can I put vaseline there too? Anyone know how to scrape it off without hurting them? Or should I just leave it?

pikz Fri 14-Dec-12 11:04:19

Another baby with a cold here. He has thrown up all his milk this morning sad

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Fri 14-Dec-12 11:30:58

I am ready to give up breastfeeding today! DS is crying in pain while on the breast. It's like he is so hungry, and I think I have a fast let-down, so he gulps for air, takes in loads of air as well as milk, and gets windy immediately and is too cross to drink! Then screams at me for a good hour after a feed, every feed, even though feeds are shorter and shorter now because he gets cross more and more quickly, and the only way he is calmed is by manically sucking a dummy while being rocked, and that takes hours, by which time it is almost time to feed again. He is also seriously farty-pants. I've adjusted my diet, cut out fizzy drinks (which is actually quite hard for me), but nothing works.

He is, however, a dream to wind and put down on the rare occasions I or DH has given him a bottle of formula.

Right now he is screaming at me. He's windy, but I've teased as much wind as I can out of him. He's also starving, because the recent feed was too little, but if I pop him on the breast, he takes 2 sucks, cries and draws his legs up in pain. Getting him to latch on is now really stressful.

We're also having massive sleep issues with DD - so everyone is tired and that isnt helping. If DH tells me to calm down, or that he is tired, one more time, I am going to lamp him then run away.

Sorry for venting. DS slightly calm so going to try the breast one more time before giving a bottle and starting again next feed.

ValiumQueen Fri 14-Dec-12 11:32:00

Petite do not scrape. Just use Vaseline or other cream that softens and it will roll off after a while. They look awful with the cream on though. I had to stay in hospital with DS as I was feeding him and he did not have a tube. If I had been expressing I might have considered leaving him, but it was nice to have a bit of peace too.

J fed like a nutter last night until 11, then woke at 2 and 6 so worth it. YW it helps to know you are there too!

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Fri 14-Dec-12 11:35:15

sorry, others are having a much shitter time of it - feel far too self indulgent now blush

tits and pass, hope you're out of hospital soon.

ValiumQueen Fri 14-Dec-12 11:41:56

madame <<hug>> that sounds yucky. It will get better. One feed at a time is the way to go. How old is he? I think growth spurts are at 2,3,4 and 6 weeks, then 3 months, then weaning at around 5-6 months. It is so hard anyway without other kids and idiot husbands. And colds. And vomiting bugs.

ValiumQueen Fri 14-Dec-12 11:45:14

madame shit is still shit [ grin] I do find it helps to know others are finding it hard too. This week DS has very nearly been on formula, and eBay. It also crossed my mind to put him in a drawer for a while.

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Fri 14-Dec-12 11:51:39

Thanks VQ. He is bang on 6 weeks, suspect growth spurt playing its part too. Am going to keep trying, and hope he is getting enough and that shorter feeds are also a sign of improved efficiency. DD at nursery today so may pop into surestart, get him weighed, and (he feels heavy) and that should give some reassurance. But I bloody hate wind!

PetiteRaleuse Fri 14-Dec-12 11:59:56

Wind is evil, I agree.

OK I'll attack the crustiness with the vaseline. It was the only thing that worked on DD1 and after a few times it didn't come back.

Lane81 Fri 14-Dec-12 12:01:32

stunt they have a growth spurt at 4 weeks, my LO was manically feeding right on cue at exactly 4 weeks, only just recovering from it.

madame I hate wind too, really looking forward to her not needing it, sometimes it's a real struggle and so hard to see. My LO also farts a lot and has gone from pooing several times a day to every two days and I'm worried she's constipated, as she's really straining and it's only wind. hmm

DonnaDoon Fri 14-Dec-12 12:24:30

Hey TheChick I only noticed the other day that your ds and my dd were born on the same day...my dd isnt smiling yet either...had her 6wk check yesterday and her eyes are fine we just have to assume them at her corrected age like you say.

DonnaDoon Fri 14-Dec-12 12:25:18

Lots of best wishes to tits and pass x

YellowWellies Fri 14-Dec-12 12:56:47

Madame that sounds like the realm of the growth spurt. Just remember his fussiness isn't him not getting enough milk - it's him upping your supply for tomorrow. I wish they could put their milk orders in, in a more endearing and less upsetting manner - but it's what his instincts are programmed to do. Try to sooth him as best as you can but accept that for the next few days you might not be able to sooth him at all times. The crying and fussiness works on your boobs and their hormones. Long term FF babies have more issues with wind than BF so don't see the bottle as a panacea in all cases. Did you read this blog post I posted - I don't know if the symptoms are the same? nurshable.com/2012/05/27/six-week-growth-spurt/

We seem to still be in the growth spurt (it can last 2 days to 2 weeks) but its less bad than early in the week i.e. he went from 1 til 5am between feeds - so it does get better.

The most stressy / fussy time seems to be during DH's bottle feed - is this because J wants to be on the boob? or is he trying to up my supply and pissed off on the bottle because he is failing in his mission to do this? Or is he reacting to DH being stressed (because he doesn't want to come and wake the cavalry - me)? Or is he just being a sleep stealing little whatsit?

I really don't want him to give up the bottle at this stage as it's so handy - we were planning on dinner out for DH's birthday (or maybe just going back to bed!) whilst a friend sits Jonas - if he won't take the bottle we can't do this. Bad timing little dude!

PR Jonas has crusty eyebrows - I'll try vaseline thanks!

thanks tits and pass lots of love to your wee ones - hope they're on the mend super quick. Give the docs hell.... grin

YellowWellies Fri 14-Dec-12 13:00:06

Someone asked about thrush symptoms - for us it was a fussy baby squealing during feeds, with white patches on gums and for me: sharp tingly pains in nipples and then later on, shooting 'glass' like pain deep in my breasts. Bloody painful. Some describe it as more painful than labour once it's deep in your boobs - so get it treated early. I'm coping ok on strong paracetomol (avoid ibuprofen as it gives LOs constipation) but could really do without this coinciding with the 6 week growth spurt and Jonas' constant suckling.

YellowWellies Fri 14-Dec-12 13:01:44

Lane are you BFing? I can't remember who is doing what in terms of feeding - but if so it's about 4 weeks that BF babies go from multi-poos a day to one every day or every other day - if so don't worry!

MissMummy1 Fri 14-Dec-12 13:09:28

Up every hour last night with M. She too was nearly put on eBay - BUT all of the cluster feeding over the past two days have helpef up my supply again and I've just managed to pump off 4oz to stick in the freezer for a christmas party we're going to on the 28th when my supply is steady enough to let daddy take over one of the night feeds again grin

MissMummy1 Fri 14-Dec-12 13:10:09

Hugs and best wishes to tits and pass - fingers crossed your littlies are home again soon xxxx

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Fri 14-Dec-12 13:12:00

YW that is a great blog, very good to read about and be reminded that he is doing what he needs to make it work. I just dont like seeing him in what I perceiving to be pain/discomfort. His symptoms are similiar, but not identical. He's actually drawing up his legs in pain with wind after 2/3 deep sucks. DH thinks he does it more on one boob - do they have a preference?!

I will persevere, but am also keen to keep the daily bottle (which is at different times of day depending on what suits me) as I need DS to switch to bottle fully by 5 months when I am back at work. Also, mixed feeding saved breastfeeding for me with DD - without it, I would have given up at three weeks, but managed to mix feed until 20 weeks. So it was always my intention to mix feed this time, but often I have to resist the temptation to just make the full switch now.

He took a bit more from the breast, chugged 2.5 ounces of formula on top, and then did a deeply satisfying poo. I could tell it was satisfying from the grunting and the expressions, and the fact he is now quite content in his chair while I mumsnet potter about doing chores. He also did the semi-smile we have been getting for a couple of days - not yet a full on beam, but a crinkley half smile.

Oh - and I weighed him. Up too 11lbs 2oz at 6 weeks, following his centile nicely. AND - breathe!

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Fri 14-Dec-12 13:14:50

lane we're getting fewer poos here too but lots of skid marks (typical boy)... Plenty of wet nappies though. I think they look like they're straining but sometimes they just don't like the sensation of pooing or farting.

All the best pass & Tits thanks

DS is smiling now but not with his mouth as such - its mainly his eyes if that makes sense. He also has gone relatively ages between feeds in the last 24hrs & has been awake a lot more today - developmental leap or just lucky??!! (He's 4+5wo).

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Fri 14-Dec-12 13:20:01

Is it normal to not feel "loved up" with the DC all the time? I assume from the eBay comments others feel similar - just want 5mins where there isn't a toddler being rebellious or a newborn demanding a boob or a house needing a thorough clean to be ME again!! I do love them but its not a big gushy over-whelming love, its more just a contentment when they're being good and/or cooperative. Is that weird?

YellowWellies Fri 14-Dec-12 13:22:04

Madame great description of a smile - that's just what J is doing. It's definitely not his windy smiles (which we reckoned looked like Ernie Wise doing showman smile!) but it's a coy half smile at the mo. They can have a preference for boobs and often prefer the one that has the best flow, or your left boob as they can hear your heartbeat most clearly (awwww).

MM sounds like you are back on track - well done hon! It's a fecker for sleep but you've done it! Well done xxxx

DH is working from home this afternoon. Whoop. Or so he thinks. <prepares to hand DH the baby> grin

ValiumQueen Fri 14-Dec-12 13:26:01

J has yet to have a bottle of bf as DH has been too busy confused at 7 weeks I hope we have not missed the boat. The girls started at about 2 weeks, but I plan to be off longer this time so not such an issue. He will be 10 months hopefully by then, so pretty established on solids, and I can feed him morning and night and weekends. I can also feed him lunchtimes if my boss lets me stay local. We do not have any plans to go out as finding a babysitter for 3 is not possible.

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Fri 14-Dec-12 13:26:54

No Chunky, I dont think it is weird at all. I love my DC very, very much, but not, I dont think, in the whole hallmark-they-complete-me way (if that even really exists outside the film industry), and sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake having them, and sometimes I feel like running away, and sometimes I just cant bear to contemplate the drudgery of it all, and I miss being me, and my life pre-DC and pre-DH sometimes too. But I am also not the kind of person who thinks my DH is the "one", or my soulmate.

I also think it is possible to feel 2 conflicting emotions at the same time, i.e. love but also the feeling that you describe above about wanting 5 mins to yourself. I look forward to days when DH at work and DD at nursery for some peace, but miss them at the same time? So I think you can feel not "loved-up" whilst still loving deeply. Make sense?

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Fri 14-Dec-12 13:29:13

I dont know VQ, cant you ambush some over-enthusiastic teenager who is desperate for cash?! Fair enough, they might only do it once, but worth a try?

TheDetective Fri 14-Dec-12 13:34:18

Snuggled up in bed, listening to the rain. Today we are most definitely having a duvet day! I did have aspirations of doing things. But I ain't venturing out the door in this grin.

Lane81 Fri 14-Dec-12 13:34:27

Thanks yw and chunky I am BF, so that's really useful, thanks. I was starting to worry about it. Thank you.

The thrush/growth spurt combo sounds like a nightmare. I hope it passes soon.

I think it's completely normal to not be loved up-would be impossible to maintain that intensity of emotion, same as when you meet a new partner, it's totally normal to want time for yourself too. I often daydream about it!

katkit1 Fri 14-Dec-12 13:36:37

fatima - me and baby have thrush at the moment. hot, itchy nipples - very red and swollen and angry around the nipples. baby has/had a couple of spores on the inside of his cheeks. both been on meds since mon and feeling much, much better.

katkit1 Fri 14-Dec-12 13:51:51

hi chunky - not weird at all. i feel the same. i love baby - especially the smooshes after feeding but the crying frustrated baby parts/non washed me/messy house - not so much

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Fri 14-Dec-12 13:56:39

Thanks madam & kitkat glad I'm not the only 1! I think I feel a bit bad that I'm not make to enjoy either child v much at the mo - always seems that there's something needing doing. Maybe it'll be easier at 6+wks/after Xmas <wishful thinking emoticon>

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Fri 14-Dec-12 14:00:40

Am hoping for the same Chunky

Lane81 Fri 14-Dec-12 14:03:17

Me too! I have 2nd Jan (when LO is 7 weeks and Xmas madness is over) marked as The Turning Point!

StuntNun Fri 14-Dec-12 14:08:25

PR my DS1's cradle cap cleared up by shampooing his head every day. I used to fill the sink with warm water and just wash his scalp over it then dry it quickly rather than bothering with a bath every day.

Madam can you feed with your baby in a more upright position e.g. with a pillow under the head but legs lower down? Are you using Infacol or Colief to help? Remember that everything gets easier after 6 weeks as well.

YellowWellies Fri 14-Dec-12 14:10:07

I have 8 weeks (next tues) as our turning point - hopefully the thrush and growth spurt will be behind us then - but that is v soon. More realistically I'm focussing on 11th Jan when we move south to the same place as my sis / are back in civilisation / can leave the house without full on all-weather gear (and hi vis - its so dark here in the winter) / are in a house where you don't need to shovel coal every two hours as our real turning point. It already feels like we've turned a corner BFing wise now at 7 weeks we're both in the swing of it.

horseylady Fri 14-Dec-12 14:19:20

Chunky I have always thought having a child would be part of my life, not my life. I love ds I'm glad I have him here, I can't imagine him not being here. But my life was fine without him. I am still me. I just have the added role of mummy.

Id probably feel much different with 2!!!

Pass / hugs

StuntNun Fri 14-Dec-12 14:20:56
eversomuch Fri 14-Dec-12 14:27:02

Hi everyone, just popping in quickly before Spencer wakes up from his nap. Have been completely consumed by trying to find a rhythm managing 21mo DD and 6wk old DS. It's a challenge, but I suppose we're getting there.

I hope all the poorly babies are on the mend very soon.

chunky I definitely relate to wanting five mins to myself -- I think it's completely normal and doesn't mean you don't love your kids with your whole heart. But this is a pretty full-on job, with breaks that seem far too few, so don't feel guilty for craving, and sometimes demanding, a little time to yourself.

S is 6 weeks old today and I'm delighted to have reached this point with no complications from my ELCS -- this recovery was soooo much better than the one with DD.

S is doing great, though a very sleepy little guy. I'm trying to gently steer him into a routine and make sure he doesn't get more than 5 or 6 hours of daytime sleep so that nights go a bit more quietly. We're slowly getting there.

Out of curiosity, how much daytime sleep are your LOs getting these days?

Thanks for the messages everyone, we have a confirmed RSV sample so we're now in with the other bronch babies.
J can't maintain his breathing without oxygen yet so we'll be here a while, grumpy baby is grumpy, he wants to snuggle into bed with mummy and sleep instead he's confined to a giant cot with lots of tubes and wires and beeps. hmm
I am being fed and currently producing ridiculous amounts of milk, I think I'm genetically part cow...

Oh and having caught sight of myself in a mirror here, I realise my acne is so bad I have a red angry looking beard and moustache of spots hmm

ValiumQueen Fri 14-Dec-12 15:02:46

At about 2.30 this morning, DH stirred as DS was kicking off - feeding lying down and fed, but wanting to sleep with nip on mouth, so he tried his thumb but could not do it happily - and DH asked if I was ok. I replied ' I fucking hate this shit, I am so fucking tired' (I did not mean DS was the shit, just the general shittiness of tiredness). DH rolled over without saying a word sad

horseylady Fri 14-Dec-12 15:06:33

Tits - I wouldn't say that too many times smile

Vq hugs x

ValiumQueen Fri 14-Dec-12 15:07:46

DS was awake all day yesterday bar 20mins in pram, but today is only waking for feeds. I have 3 years as a turning point grin

YellowWellies Fri 14-Dec-12 15:10:45

I feel your pain VQ being in sole charge of feeding the wee one can be lonely - it can feel like a lot of pressure when DH hands me the squawling babe with the line 'sorry mate I haven't got the goods go to Mummy' - we only do one EBM bottle but I hope we don't lose it as it's so nice just for one feed to dump him on Daddy share the responsibility.

ValiumQueen Fri 14-Dec-12 15:11:53

Thank you horsey I am ok. Things are much harder at night especially when DHs snoring is keeping you and baby awake. Seriously considering moving into nursery with DS.

YellowWellies Fri 14-Dec-12 15:12:43

VQ that's good to hear about the sleeping - sometimes (most of the time) Jonas is only awake for 2-4 hours a day other than when feeding. He still sleeps at night but is a very sleepy chap. Is this because he was early? Or is he just a lazy bugger? or is he bored of us already?

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Fri 14-Dec-12 15:22:35

VQ I have kicked DH out into spare room. I know what you mean, even when I leave DS with DH and I know he's full, DH tries to settle him but all too often and too easily, decides he needs feeding by me. I find myself having to work very hard at the moment to remember that I do quite like Dh really.

horseylady Fri 14-Dec-12 15:38:30

Ds spends a fair amount of time awake in the day. He also fights going to sleep. This makes him grumpy. He's started licking his hands now. He still licks mummy. And her jumpers/hoodies/coats/skin.

Vq hugs again.

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Fri 14-Dec-12 16:02:10

VQ Know exactly where you're coming from. Determined to keep going but it is HARD. And Madam me too!! I am.grateful I'm not a lone parent but I do catch myself wondering if it would be that much harder than now...blush

Tits I bet you're udderly fabulous grin

horsey I use DS's rooting/suckling reflex to get kisses - I give him a kiss on the cheek & he goes to town... Does that make me a bad Mummy?!! smile

YellowWellies Fri 14-Dec-12 16:19:14

DH has had the kraken on him in the sling for the last hour and is running me a bath. Ahhhhhhh it's nice to have some peace and me time. He is forgiven for the panicking and resorting to BF make it all better whenever J cries!

I've been walking around with my norks out whilst the thrush cream dries and DH commented that I should do this all the time - I'm just hoping not to have to do this next week when his folks are up for Xmas!!! blush

Tits - it sounds like you too might have wet nurse genes (a charming comment from my HV)!

Fish and chips for tea tonight nom - then catching up on last week's The Killing in time for tomorrow's finale. Hope everyone has a lovely evening.

Chunky we can do it. It's hard but the best things in life are (ahem, that sounded ruder than I intended). Lots of good vibes being sent your way for sleepy nights and quick feeding babies.

MissMummy1 Fri 14-Dec-12 16:39:33

Tilly has just crapped on the carpet shock

I left dh changing her upstairs while I came down to find biscuits and juice get organised for our next feedathon. In his defence, leaving her lying on the floor while he dug out a clean babygrow was a safer option than the changing table. But why the hell did he not think to stick a clean nappy on her first?! confused

ValiumQueen Fri 14-Dec-12 16:53:37

MM a lesson learned then! Assemble everything you need before you start the job. My changing table has pockets down the side, and I keep a vest and gro in each of them on one side so there is always an outfit to grab.

kirrinIsland Fri 14-Dec-12 17:03:33

All the best tits and pass - hope you're both home soon .

Tits - was the sats monitor beeping for no apparent reason for you to swear at it? 'N's seemed to do that a lot .

Had my interview and left N with my sister while i was in there - she took 2 bottles no problem and was generally angelic :-)
She has done nothing but sleep all day though so i'm not optimistic about tonight .

my DP is also in the spare room , i can't see the point of neither of us getting any sleep and he does get up with DD1.

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Fri 14-Dec-12 17:26:25

Thanks YW you too!! smile

GTbaby Fri 14-Dec-12 17:57:15

Think my message failed to post earlier. I have maxi cosi cabriofix. Has anyone else taken the head support thing out yet? LO seems to big for it, have to seat him too low n slouched for his head to fit.

Any ideas.

Work was great n LO was so well behaved!

It's my first night out since having DS tonight. It's my work Christmas party and my parents are babysitting. My brother is also there and my auntie is going round to see him as well so I know he's well taken care of but I miss him so much already! Has everyone else left their LO with others yet?

GTbaby Fri 14-Dec-12 18:19:05

I have apple. Once for dr appointment at 2 weeks. N I went for lunch at 6 weeks as it was my 30th bday.
On Sunday I am going up to Birmingham for a family don leaving him with mil.
N wed I have my staff xmas do.
Leaving him so much already. Am I bad mum? Lol.

Passmethecrisps Fri 14-Dec-12 18:35:44

Evening all.

tits I am so sorry to hear about your LO being in hospital.

I am astonished and astounded horsey that someone would presume to pass comment on anyone's feeding 'choices'. She is obviously a total arse. Sweep her out of your head.

Thank you to those who sent well wishes for wee P. after my rather tearful post on Wednesday night, we ended up taking p to A&E due to her continued hysterical cry.We were seen there by an out of hours GP who felt that her tummy was bloated but that there was nothing really wrong. He gave us some calpol. Thursday morning we had a GP appointment and told him all the symptoms - by that point p was eating a maximum of 30ml at a time before becoming hysterical, arching her back, gagging and so on. GP was ace and was very concerned. He thought she had a temperature and sent us up to the paediatric ward at hospital.

All this time P had been sleepy well, once we got to the hospital she made sure everyone knew she was poorly. She screamed a d screamed for hours. Eventually after blood tests, ursine samples and much going over of the symptoms it was agreed that she had acid reflux. By this stage they were so concerned about her fluid intake and the state she was in that they kept her in overnight. We are home now with a bag if medication bigger than her. She is now on infant gaviscon, Zantac and domperadone as well as a new treatment for her thrush which hasn't improved after a fortnight of medication.

She is sleeping now and eating is less of a trauma now she has medication. However, she is still uncomfortable and is likely to remain so until her gut matures.

I have no idea how people cope when their LOs are tubed up as I found the whole process of just being in hospital very traumatic.

pass & tits hope your babies get better v soon x

gt I've left Dots while I've popped into town for a pedicure lol and am leaving her with dh on sun as its works Xmas doo which will be nice and weird!!

How soon is everyone returning to work?? I am going to uni in march full time when Dottie will be 4 mths and unfortunately we have no lovely grannies or aunties to help us with childcare so need to way up pros and cons of nursery vs child minder - im leaning towards day nursery but am worried that she won't get any fresh air and will be cooped in a room all day sad what's everyone else doing for child care?? And any ideas how to get over the guilt?? ( my other 2 I was fortunate to be a sahm for first 2 years)

After Xmas I'll be looking at nurseries and childminders - apart from ofsted, what else should I look for?

DonnaDoon Fri 14-Dec-12 18:45:40

GT Ive now stopped using the head support in the car seat

ValiumQueen Fri 14-Dec-12 18:56:23

Good to see you back pass hopefully that will sort the little one out.

glenda my kids go / went to nursery. They take them out whenever possible. They even have AstroTurf to ensure this. I found nursery much more reliable than CM. They only close Christmas and New Year, do not charge extra for public holidays, and they always have enough staff. I found it frustrating taking time off when the CM was ill, or her kids, or when she was on holiday. That does not happen with a nursery. Also my kid spent all day every day doing the school run, stuck in a car or buggy, or in front of the TV while the CM was helping the older kids with homework. In nursery they will be with kids their own age and have age appropriate activities. I am sure there are good childminders (like on this thread wink ) but I have yet to find one that worked for me.

YellowWellies Fri 14-Dec-12 19:24:00

Pass great news that you're home - domperidone is the best stuff for reflux - my niece has it. It's good shit!

What meds did they put her on for thrush? - Jonas has been being treated for 9 days now and it's not gone yet so I'm curious and might challenge the doc on wednesday about it.

GT we don't use the head support in the car seat - actually we haven't since he was about 2 weeks as it just crammed him down.

ValiumQueen Fri 14-Dec-12 19:28:25

I have a soft insert in my car seat that fits for some time. I bought it from BabiesRus for DD1 many moons ago. It kinda has soft pads both sides of the head.

TheDetective Fri 14-Dec-12 19:33:58

Am fidgeting like a fly on speed trying to sit here long enough to post. Stupid fucking fanjo. Fanjo for sale anyone...?!

Pass That must have been awful for you. I hope the medication does the job sad

Glenda I go back April 28th <cries a shit load>. DP will then take 3 months off (better get his shit together by then hmm ) and then after that DS will be going to a childminder. Not that I have looked yet. But a childminder is the better option for us most likely. Plus I had better experiences with childminders than nursery first time around. For the hours we need a childminder will be our cheaper option as we need tues 10-4 and fri 10.30-3.30 as DP will be doing his basic hours, and I am requesting to work earlies or nights only on a tuesday. Am hoping work will grant this wishful thinking. These hours don't work well for a nursery as would have to pay for all day.

I found DS was more settled with a childminder, and the ones I have used only did a school run to one school, locally, so the school run was an hour a day. But if it doesn't work for Oscar, then we will look at a nursery.

I also found the childminder much more flexible for the awkward hours that the NHS chucks at you! I had a childminder who agreed to do up to 9.30pm 2 evenings a week for us if we needed it (only needed one evening maybe twice a month, but when we needed it, we needed it. Yes we had to pay a premium for it though!)

I too will be looking after christmas. I need childcare from August, although I am hoping to take the first 2 weeks of August as annual leave. Which reminds me, I need to email my requests in!! Eeek!

TheDetective Fri 14-Dec-12 19:51:08

Got a nice gift in the way of ££ from my Dad today. Which reminds me. Need to check last posting dates. Better at least send a christmas card blush. Considering the last I heard from him was 'r u serious' when I told him Oscars name... hmm.

Anyway, money is going on a dress for me, a sling (YAY!), a few new clothes for DP, and then save the rest for clothes for me for after christmas in the sales. Or more likely, when I have shifted this blubber? How can one be the same weight but have a spare tyre that was definitely not as huge as this before?! Crumbs (or lack of crumbs maybe?! grin )

So glad it is the weekend. One week left in school, then no fucking school run for 2 weeks YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! Can you tell I am happy about this?!

Oscar is settling in to a little routine. He feeds 3 hourly, pretty much on the dot. Once a day he goes 4 hours, seems to be the evening time. He has a wakeful period seems to be in the morning, 9-12ish, but apart from feeding, sleeps the rest of the time. Have just put him in the basket unswaddled for the first time. He seems actually more settled?! hmm

DP is learning. Slowly. He is tasked with sterilising and making up feeds, since I prefer to do the majority of feeds still (I like it as bonding time!). I made him read the steriliser instructions after I found everything just chucked in any old how hmm. So now the bottles are in correctly, but everything else is still chucked in. I have facebooked him a video to watch on how to put everything in correctly. Wonder if he will learn this time?! Also he has been making up feeds with US fluid oz. It took a loooooong time of explaining that he should probably be following the UK fl oz. So the 6pm feed was made correctly, and Oscar was far more settled fell asleep during and less windy AND less vom, if any to be honest. Hooray.

I would have thought it was common sense to read up absolutely everything on feeding when we I made the decision to bottle feed. I did tell him all this stuff, but given he isn't one for remembering much anything I thought the fact that it could affect his sons health might mean he did something so he would remember and get it right first time, and every time. But no. Especially as we are making up a couple of feeds at a time - even more important to ensure it is right.

GRRRR! Good job he has a big knob, not much else I keep him for.

Just kidding. It's tiny grin. ROFL!

TheDetective Fri 14-Dec-12 19:56:43

WFT?! The last posting date was 14th December to western Europe.

Bugger and bollocks. Facebook greetings it is then...

blush

kirrinIsland Fri 14-Dec-12 20:12:16

Bugger and bollocks indeed detective - I've got 2 cards for Germany that have been sat on the side awaiting posting for over a week now. Didn't realise the last posting date was so early.

Glad you're home pass Hopefully the meeds will kick in quickly and little P will be feeling much better soon.

YellowWellies Fri 14-Dec-12 20:33:20

I'm struggling to write Christmas cards despite being on the sofa all day... maybe I should get off MN? heresy The last 2nd class posting day is 18th Dec. Must get arse into gear. I think I might have to take the fuse out of the plug on my Mac grin

TheDetective Fri 14-Dec-12 20:37:16

I haven't written any either!

That date is rather early isn't it?!

My cards have been sat next to the sofa for the last 2 weeks. Staring at me. With a look that says 'we are still going to be in the wrapping next December, aren't we?'. Yes my little card friends, I suspect you might be right!

daisychain76 Fri 14-Dec-12 20:38:00

Oh no, didn‘t realise the last posting date was today. Just. got a lovely package from friends in Germany with presens for each dc and haven‘t so much as written them (or anyone) a card yet. Feel guilty now.

Pass glad you are both home, hope the meds work well. Tits hope you are both home soon.

KissysUnderTheMisteltoe Fri 14-Dec-12 20:41:24

Oh pass that must have been awful, hope LO improves soon and the medication does the job

I took LO to see my osteopath today, it really amazes me what they can do. She looks so much more comfortable already and her legs are straighter and not pulled up to her body as much.

Can't believe she's 4 weeks old already!

StuntNun Fri 14-Dec-12 20:58:39

I'm lying on my tummy, it's about three hours since I had a wee and my pelvis isn't sore. Not missing being pregnant as much as I thought seeing how delighted I was with my big fat tummy when I had it. It's still a little bit on the fat side but I don't look pregnant any more so I'll worry about that next year. How is everyone else's post-pregnancy body going?

Sophiathesnowfairy Fri 14-Dec-12 21:15:09

Well, I am so happy I can get my wedding ring back on! And off again. Even better, checked abut 6 times.

pass and tits thinking of husband hoping you come out of the other side soon. Xx

stunt have two stone to loose, 1 1/2 necessity, 1/2 nice to have, have already lost 1/2 to get to that in the last couple of weeks and I am still struggling to fit into stuff, but maternity stuff too big. sad it get's me down a bit really as it mocks my confidence.

On the plus side I have a night off. grin

Sophiathesnowfairy Fri 14-Dec-12 21:17:09

Obviously passand tits what I wrote above is complete crap as I am thinking of you. I really should have more concern for order and quality! confused

PetiteRaleuse Fri 14-Dec-12 21:26:08

Stunt. I lost my pregnancy weight, but was 7kg above my ideal weight anyway. So I am now 60kf, went up to 72 during pregnancy, but ideally should be 53 (I'm short). I lost thf 12kg in the first three weeks post birth but haven't budged since. In fact I lost a double chin but it came back already.

The ob gyn gave me the all clear on Tuesday but I have to be careful as I broke my back a few years ago and developed a couple of abdominal hernias on a scar during this pregnancy. So, swimming, yoga, walking, nothing mote than that.

But not before January. I want to enjoy Christmas first.

horseylady Fri 14-Dec-12 21:26:47

Pass glad she's been seen and hopefully on the mend now. Fingers crossed for you. A little boy at the baby group as a cows milk intolerance.

Apple - yes I've left ds for a short while. I missed him but we both survived. In fact I'm not sure he was aware I was gone. Pretty sure babies live in the moment!!

Can't remember who was asking about childcare but ds is going to works nursery. For the same reasons as vq. It's pretty much a year round service. Plus it's at work. And subsidised. Very lucky really, it's still pricey but both cm and nurseries seemed to work out at the same price. Think I'm going back after 9months, So start of august.

TheDetective Fri 14-Dec-12 21:27:21

Bloody spoke too soon! grin

2 hourly feeds this evening!

Just got back in the basket. Wondering what to do about going to bed. We had figured this afternoon he would be due a feed between 10-11 which we would do and then go to bed, and I would do feeds before 4, and him do the ones after, and both get up at 9ish, with hopefully at least 5 hours sleep a piece!

Pfffft. Best laid plans...!

Not sure what is going on with my figure Stunt! Not going to worry til after Christmas. No point is there really?!

I just realised the horror of what is known as the christmas shop will have to be done next weekend. Can I just say in advance. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!! Hate it at the best of times. hmm

DP goes back to work on friday 21st and is in til Christmas eve. I do the shop on 22nd or 23rd usually. Crapsticks! Will have to do with with both children, and no help. Mind you... help is used loosely. I will spend less anyway...! Gonna have to get my shit together this week!!

TheDetective Fri 14-Dec-12 21:31:45

Feel sorry for DP. He isn't all useless! I just need a little vent. I try not to do it at him. This is a form of release before he gets it in the neck!

Trying to remember his good points at the moment. grin

pikz Fri 14-Dec-12 21:47:16

I luckily wrote my cards on maternity and just had to sign them or they wouldn't be done.

My post pregnancy body is a mess. 3 weeks today since he was born and no hope of pre pregnancy jeans yet. I reckon have another 1.5 to 2 stone to loose sad I've already lost a stone. My boobs going to a Hcup have to count for some of that non?

MissMummy1 Fri 14-Dec-12 21:52:36

Trying not to worry about my figure till after christmas. Safe to say I'll never be a size 8 again, but it's the stretchmarks that are getting me! DH calls them love/baby scars; I call them ugly. No amount of biooil or body butter seems to be shifting them, any advice?

MissMummy1 Fri 14-Dec-12 21:57:00

WRT work, I can go back to working for myself whenever I like as it is so easy to fit around dh's shore leave. I plan to keep up a couple of hours tutoring a week from feb onwards as my MA is laughable. Have considered lots of other options long term, including going back to doing a postgrad in September. We're fortunate enough that I don't NEED to work, however a second income would certainly help our mortgage savings... I'm happy enjoying being a mum and slowly building up a business for now though!

jenbird Fri 14-Dec-12 22:18:12

Just read all 10 pages to catch up...

horsey I am amazed at the audacity and ignorance of some people. How you feed your baby is your business and no one else's. Sounds like you told her though.

I am ebf and of vq's school of thought. I couldn't give a rats ass about people staring. If they a problem it's their tough luck. I think the same should apply to both ff and bf. It's no one else's business.

pass and tits hope your little ones get better soon.

detective could you do your shopping online? Would have to book delivery in ASAP though I would imagine.

madam I have a fast let down too. My HV suggested scissoring my bob at the start of a feed to ease the flow. Seems to work.

I am currently lying in bed with an unsettled small girl. She doesn't settle well in the evening. I am co sleeping with her. My dh is in with ds2 as he wakes in the night and comes into our room. This would be fine but he will only go back to bed with me or if in our bed gets woken up when I change/feed the baby and then takes ages to go back to sleep. I have co slept with all of mine. My biggest concern is temperature. I put small girl in a sleeping bag but she does end up under my duvet sometimes which worries me.

I haven't paid too much attention to my appearance. I wore a body binding belt for the first ten days post birth and have to say it has really helped my tummy go down. There is a long way to go but I don't look six months gone anymore. It would probably help if I stopped eating so much but I am hungry ALL the time and have a real taste for chocolate.

Looking forward to a chilled weekend. My washing machine broke 2 days ago and with 6 people that creates quite a backlog! New one arrived today so I had better get on with sorting through it....

PetiteRaleuse Fri 14-Dec-12 22:21:37

MM1, re stretchmarks, scars or whatever. With DD1 I had lots of stretchmarks, a c section scar and then several scars over the abdomen for another issue, big ones. With LO I had another c section scar and the stretchmarks came back. HOWEVER, within a year of the previous surgeries and marks I was already pregnant with DD2, and they were already hardly visible. My point is that they disappear of their own accord until the only person who will be able to see them is you. Those horrible red stretchmarks fade into your skin until they are ust white lines. You might not feel comfortable enough in a year to stick a bikini on, but you won't be looking into the mirror in horror anymore. I's only been a few weeks. Gve them a year and I promise you'll feel diffently about them.

daisychain76 Fri 14-Dec-12 22:23:17

Just found out Vertbaudet has a flash sale ~ 30% off everything on their website til Wednesday. So tempting...

PetiteRaleuse Fri 14-Dec-12 22:26:08

Just have to say, i have lost my pregnancy weight but that doesn't mean I have got my figure back. I's just redistributed itself. Cesarean overhang means my old jeans are uncomfortable, and I actually wear some small maternity jeans most of the time. The boobs need a more supportive bra otherwise they are down to my belly button and my abs are flabby and flaccid.

It's toning up which is going to be hard then losing the extra kg that I had already put on prior to DD1 due to too much wine and biscuit

kirrinIsland Fri 14-Dec-12 22:28:57

I've lost a stone and have another 8lbs or so to go. Not too worried about that right now. I've started walking, and will start running again after Christmas. Might even dig out the weighted hula hoop!
Like MM I'm more concerned with the stretch marks. I had a couple of little silvery lines with DD1 that faded really quickly but this time they're awful - big, wide red marks, 5 or 6 of them, right across my tummy sad

horseylady Fri 14-Dec-12 22:36:31

Lost nearly all the weight. Not that I gained a huge amount. Prob 3-4 pounds. But I fluctuate so currently at the heavier end of normal for me.

Figure wise I'm fairly happy. Just need to tone up. I expected MUCH worse and considering I hated being pregnant, currently anything is better than that. Will start running next week which should resolve the figure problems. Just the pelvic floor to deal with.

Oh an waiting for my boobs to return to their smaller size. Thought they might have done. Perhaps not?!!

Izzybuzzybuzzybees Fri 14-Dec-12 22:48:38

J has had a bottle of formula while I expressed jut to give me a rest. He is now wide awake in his crib while I'm wishing he would sleep so we can!

I'm lighter now than I was at 8 weeks pregnant but still fat! Tho I'm in a size 16 now which is nicer.

I'm thinking of putting her in nursery but have been told that for babies so young a cm would be better?? She's pretty much going to be there 5 days a week sad but my reasoning is its better to get my degree done now while hopefully she wont be affected?? and reap the rewards (better pay, more opportunities, holiday to Florida) before she starts school.

Dots is pretty much in a routine - the only thing that can take a while is her wind before bed - can take ages one night and minutes another!!

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Fri 14-Dec-12 23:35:27

Def losing weight & my tummy, whilst baggy is pretty flat - my chunky thighs & bum breastfeeding reserves prevent me getting into my normal size 10 jeans but I am into my early pg size 12s. I guess I have a stone to lose still but that is also extra boob weight (they're about 2 sizes bigger than normal).

arrgghh DD wont settle sad she keeps screaming for food but shes allredi had 4oz and keeps throwing up, dont reli want to give her another oz as it isnt stayig down sad

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 01:13:40

Same here mummytobe DS has been so unsettled all night. Three changes of clothes so far and two bouts of hiccups. Desperately in need of sleep but just sitting here crying over him instead while he takes the rest of his bottle that I am sure he will throw back up again in 5 minutes sad

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 01:22:21

With regards to post pregnancy bodies - I put on 1st 8lb during pregnancy & 16 days on have lost the stone. I was underweight before pregnancy though so could probably do with keeping the 8lb. My tummy upsets me though - I used to have abs sad Hoping I will be able to tone up again with time & that my separated muscles come back together.

CandyPop Sat 15-Dec-12 02:34:39

sweetpea hope ur getting some rest bite now.

I'm practically same as u petit. I put on 17kg and lost most of it within 3 weeks bit now have 3kg to go to get back to pregnancy weight. Need to get down 53kg (I too am a short @rse!) . I had horrendous stretchmarks and now my tummy looks really wrinkled and have a tummy pouch hmm

Haven't lost anymore in the pass week but that could be to do with the half a box of biscuits I have everyday grin. Gonna stop doing that... er er maybe from Monday.... No point starting at the weekend right?!

I have a belly binder too but only wore it a few times. Got to say when I did wear it I found it really supportive especially having had a c section. It supported my back which made sitting up etc much easier . Sounds stupid but I found finding the time to put it on which takes 1 min hard to find these day!

Right off to bed... Here to a 3 hr stretch of sleep... There's always hoping!!!

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 03:05:38

Just had an hour sleep - fab smile

I too am eating far too many biscuits - damn you Christmas tins in the shops biscuit

NervousAt20 Sat 15-Dec-12 03:26:26

detective im glad youce made a decision that your happy with and are enjoying your little man again

horsey I'm so angry on your behalf. Who the hell do some people think they are, they have no righ getting involved in people business. Don't let it upset you, you have a happy healthy baby that's the most important thing. shock no way did she actually say that to you? What a cheeky fecking bitch women.

Aw comrade I bet that frightened the life out if you sad I'm scared of that happening so I get out of bed an go into LOs room to feed in the chair in there while I MN or impulse buy shop online

Am I the only one that don't feed in public? I go to a baby room somewhere, I just don't have the confidence to wack out a boob and I've tried to practice covering up differently at home but I need to watch LO and can't so that if I cover up

Kentucky my LO is 8 weeks today and when she has ebm she takes about 4oz that was a week ago now though do maybe abit more but she feeds every 2 hours

Aww *tits & pass*I hope your both okay and your LOs

petite my LO has cradle cap just above her eyebrows and I was told to use either almond oil or olive oil so going to get some tomorrow

chunky DD is my first so has all my attention and when I look at her I feel all gushy and loved up with her but dont get me wrong i would love abit of time to just sit on the sofa in the evening and chill out without having my boob out

I won't make any plans to go out yet as I just don't feel ready to leave LO yet, she's 8w today

Damn I've been writing this post since last night during the night feed so its a huge one, sorry if I've missed anyone I have stingy eyes because we're not getting alot of sleep here.

Were having a delayed 6e growth spurt at 8w and its so hard I actually last night and have seriously thought about quitting sad LO feed for 7 hours on and off with a max of 20mon off at a time, I'm hoping its almost done as not sure how much more I can take. Just about to do second nappy change if this feed

NervousAt20 Sat 15-Dec-12 03:26:44

Wow that was ridiculously long

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Sat 15-Dec-12 03:59:58

nervous get a nursing poncho/apron to cover up in case there isn't a baby room somewhere (& personally, as most baby rooms are for changing nappies too, I think they often stink & its a bit yuck to sit in effectively a toilet, unless its got a specific area for feeding). You don't want to be limited where you go for 6mths+. I got one from amazon when I had my DD & its got a solid, plastic neckline so you can see baby but observers can't.

Dixiebell Sat 15-Dec-12 04:59:36

5 hour stretch of sleep, woohoo! But now Teddy's doing his 4am wakeful thing. Do I really have to start my day so early every day??!

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 05:21:07

And awake again after 45 minutes sad I dream of 2 hours unbroken sleep at night. Hasn't happened once since he was born. Not quite sure how much longer I can go on like this. One night at a time....

Passmethecrisps Sat 15-Dec-12 05:52:07

That's the only way sweetpea because everything can change in a day. It is really hard though.

YW we are now using daktarin gel for P's thrush.we have to rub it on her tongue and gums. Much more likely to be effective due to her bit being able to spit it out.

Passmethecrisps Sat 15-Dec-12 05:53:46

Oh, and fellow thrush sufferers. . . If you are expressing my HV said that steam sterilisers are inefficient at getting rid of the spores. She suggested using cold water sterilisation while still infected. It could explain why infections aren't shifting.

Lane81 Sat 15-Dec-12 06:43:06

I put on three stone, lost a stone in a week and then most of the second in a month so have 1 to go, think that will take some work though! Will start running when the stitches have gone after Christmas. I'm hoping some of that is boob as had small boobs before.

I am back in my pre-preg clothes but everything just looks a bit crap on my untoned weirdly shaped body-like somebody said, the distribution is now a bit uneven! Giving myself 6 months to do something about it, it's hard though as keep eating choc to get through tiredness.

My LO is sleeping got slightly longer stretches, however, the alien/goats noises are so loud, it's like I'm up every hour. I keep checking but she's fast asleep. Anyone know why they make the noises?

50/50 night here, J is managing a couple of feeds on the breast which is great but his oxygen has needed to be increased a bit, if we could use the collective power of mumsnet to think 'easy breathing' thoughts for my little guy I'd be grateful, he's wide awake this morning which is good compared to yesterday when he slept the whole day,l not waking once.

So just need to get this oxygen off slowly then get this little critter home for Christmas smile

As for post pregnancy bodies, all my weight is gone and I'm back in most pre pregnancy clothes but its been replaced with horrible saggy belly/boobs and thighs. Doesn't help I don't eat bugger all and when I do it's chocolate or take away blush I'm not going to bother starting a more healthier approach to life until after Christmas I know I won't stick to it before then. My skin is the one thing I really want to get sorted.

katkit1 Sat 15-Dec-12 07:00:09

tits - easy breathing thoughts from me

katkit1 Sat 15-Dec-12 07:04:29

close to 5 stone of added weight for me - used to cycle everywhere but didn't exercise for the whole 9 months - nervous about something going wrong again ate instead - oops. i think 3 stones have gone but the extra 2 will only go with intense exercise and stitching up my mouth.

NervousAt20 Sat 15-Dec-12 07:05:38

Easy breathing thoughts here to * tits* xx
Glad he had a better night

Lane81 Sat 15-Dec-12 07:05:43

X post tits. Sending all my thoughts your way xxxxthanks

NervousAt20 Sat 15-Dec-12 07:08:09

I gained around 2 stone and lost a stone and a half in 2 weeks bug now have about 3 pound left, I've tried ond pair of pre pregnancy jeans on and they were abit big but I'm still bigger then I was pre pregnancy it's just my body shape has changed, will need to go back to fitness classes again soon, I just hate exercise blush

katkit1 Sat 15-Dec-12 07:09:04

lane - baby makes such a din - i'm convinced he's awake but nope - arms above head, baby sleep. snuff snuff gruff gruff

kirrinIsland Sat 15-Dec-12 07:10:52

Easy breathing thoughts from me too tits

N started off ok tonight but then has woken every hour since 3. I think having her in the car so much yesterday has thrown her a bit - she slept soooo much it's hardly surprising that she doesn't need it now.

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Sat 15-Dec-12 08:04:32

tits easy breathing thoughts here too...

I'm a bit envy about people that have lost their weight/almost all of it. I wasn't overweight for me (although at only 160cm/5'2" I'm quite heavy at just under 60kg normally - I like to think its more muscle than flab) but I did put on lots and it is slowly shifting, its just not gone yet!! I think I'll prob have an extra kg or 2 until I finish bfing. I had to wait until I stopped feeding DD to lose any more weight.

Sorry to those that had a bad night. Apart from having DS on my boob pretty much every hour all evening, after midnight, he slept until gone 3. I was asleep again at 4.30ish, then he needed another feed at 6.50. Think that may have been our best night yet.

Easy breathing thoughts for lil one and a ☕ for tits

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Sat 15-Dec-12 08:09:21

Oh and my body is going back to my former shape, but then that's a post-pg shape anyway (slightly thicker waist & curvier tum) so my normal clothes accommodate that. I was quite glad of the change after DD because I had a disproportionately small waist to hips/bum which made clothes buying a nightmare. Now its still difficult but things are not as huge on my waist as before...

Catbag Sat 15-Dec-12 08:54:11

tits Easy breathing thoughts wafting gently from here too <<hugs>>

horsey Echoing what everyone else has said, I cannot believe that you were subjected to such a tirade from anyone, let alone a stranger in a coffee shop. It sounds like you have dealt with it in the correct way, but don't allow it to fester and don't let it add fuel to your guilt. <<more hugs>>

detective Well done for making your decision to ff. You sound like you are getting back to your loved-up self (with Oscar anyway, even if not with your DP grin )
Sorry for not posting much in the last few days. I've been lurking and reading everything in the middle of the night but for some reason have been overly tired. Perhaps the last few weeks are catching up with me!

I have not weighed myself yet as my bathroom scales are cheap and tell lies (really, I am not just telling myself that to make myself feel better!) When I was weighed at my last antenatal, about 10 minutes before I was frogmarched to labour ward, I was 12st 4lbs and so had put on just over 3 stones. I honestly have no sense as to how much I have lost in the last 8 weeks, particularly since my stomach is still quite round and the skin and muscle and stuff above my cs scar is overhanging <<bleugh emoticon>> Even though I am exclusively breastfeeding, I don't really feel like I am losing any weight. Meh.

Thank you to everyone who asked after my sister. She is fine- literally walked away with scratches on her hand from where she crawled out of the passenger window. She is now however without a car which makes getting to work impossible since she has been working at a hotel in darkest Arkengarthdale. Many windy country roads and severe hills to be negotiated twixt here and there and no such thing as public transport. The insurance company would not give her a courtesy car as the car was certainly a write-off (an N reg Suzuki Swift isn't worth very much!) and they'd only provide one while the car was being repaired. Boo to insurance companies. Personally, I am not sure that they will pay her anything, once excesses and the like have been deducted.

Ah. This has turned into an uber-mega-mega-post. Sorry!

PetiteRaleuse Sat 15-Dec-12 09:17:55

Tits easy breathing thoughts wafting their way over the Channel to you now

pikz Sat 15-Dec-12 09:23:28

Easy breathing thoughts tits.

Ok night here after all the puking yesterday and snot. I feel a bit more human too.

KissysUnderTheMisteltoe Sat 15-Dec-12 09:30:12

Sending was breathing thoughts your way tits

As for losing pregnancy weight, I haven't weighed myself since LO arrived and didn't in later stages of PG. too depressing! Definitely got quite abit to lose but not going to worry about it til after Xmas. need to lay off the cakes and biscuits to stand any chance of getting back to pre pg size but that's easy said than done when looking after a newborn and a toddler

KissysUnderTheMisteltoe Sat 15-Dec-12 09:42:42

Easy breathing thoughts! Sorry don't know where that was came from

I've managed to get us all up and ou to have brekkie with Santa (would much rather have a lie in but have neglected the older 2 as it is) and I've managed to bf in public!!!!! Wooooo I've never tried before as I'm a size 26 with big boobs and very cack handed but with my thrupenny bits cushion it was quite easy and discreet!!! So chuffed with myself lol

Catbag Sat 15-Dec-12 10:04:03

Well done Glenda!

Passmethecrisps Sat 15-Dec-12 10:08:18

tits sending lots of easy breathing thoughts your way.

Passmethecrisps Sat 15-Dec-12 10:09:41

Nice one glenda! Good job.

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Sat 15-Dec-12 10:21:44

Impressive going glenda!!

any tips on winding? i allways struggle getting her to burp and last nite she was so grouchy as a result sad

ValiumQueen Sat 15-Dec-12 10:46:55

Dreadful night. Fed constantly and was so distressed with it. Please God let this pass soon. Back in bed with boy as continuing to feed constanty. I was in danger of throttling one or both DDs. He was choking on mucous this morning and brought up an egg sized glob. The snot sucker is working overtime too.

m2b if you've tried the sitting up and over the shoulder with gentle pats and upward strokes try either rocking baby in your arms so they go from lying down to sitting up - this can coax wind up or lie baby on their front across your knees and pat or have baby lying face down along the length of your arm with their face up by your elbow and rock (iyswim??) usually it's just a case of time usually and gentle movement!!!

StuntNun Sat 15-Dec-12 11:46:05

DH, DS1 and DS2 are out getting the Christmas tree wheeeeee! I hope it doesn't die this year, last year's was a brown dried up twig by 12th night. I plan to sit on the sofa with J and issue my commands while everyone else does the hard work then fix the lopsided placement of ornaments when nobody's looking. Hopefully we'll be able to keep the cat from chewing the presents this time. Last year she developed a taste for wrapping paper the barmy thing.

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Sat 15-Dec-12 13:00:01

Well done glenda. Am big too with massive waps so also dislike doing in public.

tits sending easy breathing thoughts your way.

Bf'ing is going ok today. One feed at a time. Sleep is still awful, and today is a day when DH works, so am mainly ignoring DS between feeds while I deal with DD.

We're not having a tree this year. Bah humbug I know, but we'll be visiting family for Xmas, have no room in the lounge due to over large sofa and Moses basket, and DD will be a nightmare anyway, so giving it a miss.

Both DC are napping, am going to take advantage and close my eyes. Weather here is appalling, so this arvo we will watch tv and bake some cakes. Chocolate sponge with buttercream icing, in case anyone is interested. DD helps by waving a wooden spoon around and shouting "mix, mix" at regular intervals.

daisychain76 Sat 15-Dec-12 13:11:32

Mmmm, chocolate cake! I hate being on a diet sad

More easy breathing. thoughts here tits. Good going Glenda.

StuntNun Sat 15-Dec-12 13:32:31

DH has been out for five hours now.. I thought I might get a break at the weekend at least. He managed to look after J for twenty minutes yesterday by which point he was shouting at him to 'fucking stop screaming'. Seriously after 20 minutes. Ffs he was crying for two and a half hours in the morning and I managed not to swear or shout at him.

Yummmmm chocolate cake!!!

After Xmas I need to go on a diet - I really won't be able to cope as a midwife if I stay the size I am so time for something drastic!!!

Was looking at diet chef and Jenny Craig diets last night but for the cost of them I might as well just get tesco's diet ready meals, granola for brekkie and knock up a salad for lunch!!!

I'm soo tired today so we've all gone back to bed to sleep between feeds - poor dd1 she just gets on with it and amuses herself!!

Sophiathesnowfairy Sat 15-Dec-12 15:04:21

Ohhh we ad the profiteroles.

I love my children I am so very lucky to have 4 children with chocolate/milk on their faces!

MissMummy1 Sat 15-Dec-12 15:30:53

Picture our house right now: dd and I both up, bathed/showered, dressed and done 3 loads of washing - DESPITE seeing every hour of the clock last night. Idiot man is still stuck to the sofa, unwashed and in his pjs, pissing about on the laptop and moaning he's tired when he slept for at least 8 hours last night. We're also stuck in waiting for his idiot mate to turn up because neither of them thought to arrange a time.

I could quite happily injure the selfish twunt right now angry but that would mean he is off work and under my feet even longer

StuntNun Sat 15-Dec-12 15:40:12

MM the OHs definitely aren't covering themselves in glory are they.

My son is such a class act...

He's in a deep sleep, the nurse creeps over to say that if he can manage one more good breastfeed they can take the NG tube out, DS hears the word boob and opens one eye, looks around, sees no sign of boob so resumes sleeping, rolls over and let's out a giant fart and smiles! grin

Oxygen is down to 0.08 ltr it was put up to 1.00 last night so we're heading in the right direction.

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 16:27:10

MM I am with you there on the sleep deprivation and useless OH. I am beyond tired now - barely functioning. I find it very hard to nap during the day but just as I was about yo drift off on the sofa yesterday, he decided he was going to have a nap - so I had to watch Oscar! angry This is despite him having 7hours unbroken sleep every night for the past week & me getting 2 hours (and not all at once) max every night. Like you MM I cant wait until he goes back to work.

Have decided I want to get a sling - dont particularly like going out with the pushchair & think Oscar would like it. Have been thinking about the Moby wrap - any advice/experiences from any sling users?

daisychain76 Sat 15-Dec-12 17:01:25

sweetpea l have a moby wrap, given by a friens. It is good when they are tiny and feels very secure, but it is just so blinking long! Nice for in the house but can‘t put it on outside without ends getting all over the floor. l also have a ring sling which is short and very easy to use, but can get sore if on more than an hour. Also have a wilkinet which is good for quick trips but not so supported and “snuggly“. I haven‘t got a mei tai yet but they sound good too. If you have a sling library or sling meet locally, l found mine really helpful.

horseylady Sat 15-Dec-12 17:10:37

Sweatpea I have the Kari me, it's ok, I think he's getting a bit big to wear him next to me. It's also hurting my back a bit but I did wear it for a long time wed!!

The bjorn looks fab!! I'd like one but we've got an all singing hiking one for when he's older so sadly can't justify the cost sad plus we've been given another carrier. We've not got it yet so don't know what it's like.

Sorry to those of you with partner issues. Mine isn't being the best, but he's no different to normal lol so can't expect anything else!! Might suggest he does the night feed tonight.....
Vq hope the mammoth feeding settles.
Glenda well done for getting out. My friend went from size 24 to size12/14 by healthy eating and most importantly exercise. Lifestyle change is needed, not diet. They set you up to fail. Don't start1/1 start now. Good luck!!

kirrinIsland Sat 15-Dec-12 17:21:30

I've got a mei tai - its great.

Belgrano Sat 15-Dec-12 18:33:42

Hi everyone I've been absent a while-sorry. It looks dramatic here, so sorry to all with unhelpful OH's and especially those with poorly babies or poorly selves.

I've got bloody mastitis which is killing. Have red patch on boob which is spreading and fever of 38.5. Have antibiotix but have to wait for them to work. I'm not surprised actually as I constantly feel full and engorged-think I make loads more milk than DD needs as a result of her frantic once a day cluster feeding in evenings. Not sure what I can do to help the situation.

Xmas denial here-I am literally telling myself its not happening and have bought no presents or cards or anything.

My OH is lovely but never bloody here. He's working v hard so I have the three DC to yell at all on my own...

Sorry for long post

Belgrano Sat 15-Dec-12 18:37:24

Oops meant to add-I have Kari-me sling which was fab for my summer born DS bit I find it a hassle with all the layers of winter clobber on me and her (its a long piece of material type one). My Bjorn is getting much more action for this winter babe. It's just simpler.

MissMummy1 Sat 15-Dec-12 18:42:25

M is snoozing. DH is now washed and being less of a twat. Chinese en route and fire lit. All is content again in the MM1 household!

Reading sling advice with great interest as keen to order one after Christmas.

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 19:05:46

Thanks for all the sling advice ladies. Belgrano that is a good point about winter clothing as I mainly want to use mine for walks with O.

Oscar is currently snoozing in his bouncer after being fascinated by the hanging toys for all of 2 minutes. Bless him, must be exhausting sleeping, feeding and being cuddled all day. I love his rare moments of awake time - he loves watching faces and lights and pulls the funniest of faces Can't wait for him to spend more time awake during the day. He is definitely worth all of the sleepless nights (Must remind self of this at 3am...)

Belgrano Sat 15-Dec-12 19:28:36

Sweetpea how much do you reckon Oscar is awake per day? I think we get 5 hrs max from DD and she's 5 wks old. Seems like not much!

Evilwater Sat 15-Dec-12 19:52:23

Off to a Yule meal, our first one since N. baby sitter booked. Can't wait.
Evil

NervousAt20 Sat 15-Dec-12 20:08:56

tits glad to hear your LO is improving, hopefully he'll be home soon. How are you doing?

Had a really nice day eith my mum Christmas shopping today, LO was absolutly brilliant and slept all day, I got 2 bottles worth of milk out but only used one so I'm going to make DP get up and give it her during a night feed, he can hold her and give a bottle but not wind or do nappy. I don't think out OHs realise how hard it is getting up constantly in the middle of the night and living off tiny amounts of sleep so I've decided tonight he can have a taste of it grin not that he knows it yet

Christmas is almost done, going to order a couple of DVDs off amazon tonight if LO allows me too and that's me done just need to do some wrapping

Also have a Mei tai sling, have used it with dd and love it and so easy to use and it rolls up and lives on the parcel shelf when not in use.
We're taking ds to the park because he's been cooped up so much recently and am going to use the sling for dd as its alot easier than the buggy.

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 20:39:37

Belgrano Oscar is 17 days old and we tend to get one 2 hour chunk of awake, alert, calm time per day. The rest of his awake time is when he is feeding or being changed. Really doesn't seem like much at all does it?

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 20:45:40

Nervous O is ff so DF is doing the whole night shift tonight. Can't wait! Feel a bit guilty though, as if I am abandoning O as I will be sleeping in the other room. A night sleep is very much needed though.

ValiumQueen Sat 15-Dec-12 21:03:54

<<wonders if breastfeeding has ever killed anyone>>

ValiumQueen Sat 15-Dec-12 21:05:22

Seriously though, I do not remember it being this tiring with the girls. Is it because he is a boy? Or been ill?

Sophiathesnowfairy Sat 15-Dec-12 21:09:57

Have just put all four kiddos to bed on my own for the first time as DH is off at a Christmas do which annoyingly started at 5:00. Had to do it at some point I suppose. Apart from a bit of a mad 1/2 hour when I was feeding Olly all went alright.

Did not attempt adding baths into the equation!

Everyone quiet. Showered. Pjamas. dressing gown. Cup of tea. [and breathe emoticon]

horseylady Sat 15-Dec-12 21:10:41

Vq - I have been told boys are generally much harder to bf than girls.

One feed at a time. Big hugs.

Dh has not yet done any night feeds, apart from when I was ill.

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 21:11:31

Sophia that is an epic feat you have just achieved. I am in awe!

Sophiathesnowfairy Sat 15-Dec-12 21:11:45

The pressure of Christmas doesn't help vq and probably the things that winter babies pick up make it all a bit more stressful. I don't know about you but even thou Olly ha got rid of his cold bis is still rattly and noises when he is going to sleep and feeding.

I've got a Kari me sling and have only used it once so far, as I'm only going out when necessary for school runs rather than for leisurely walks - will use it more when weather gets a bit brighter!!

Dottie has been feeding since 5pm!! Have ordered Chinese as dh has gone to work and D won't let me go for a wee without a tantrum let alone me trying to make anything!!!

I'm still not ready for Xmas sad dh has got thurs off so were hitting lakeside to finish off!!! Fortunately as we've got bugger all family it's only our kids we've got to buy for!!

Here's hoping we all get a good night with our bubs!!

NervousAt20 Sat 15-Dec-12 21:35:24

sweet don't feel guilty just enjoy it envy

LO has just projectile vomited, I seriously have never seen that much. She covered me, herself, the dog and the sofa shock so now I've bathed her and she's just wee'd all over me < crying emotion > so now I stink of piss and vomit the joys of motherhood hey. After LO has finished feeding and I get her dressed hopfully she'll give me time to clean the dog and sofa before she demands feeding again. She don't normally sleep until around midnight so a bath is along way off for me

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 21:44:05

Nervous that sounds horrible sad I had a near - meltdown the other night when I had to change O three times in an hour due to a sick-leaking wee-sick situation.

J'a feeding tube has been removed for good, back on full breastfeeding now. smile
Just this pesky oxygen to contend with now.

I'm ok, getting slight cabin fever but nothing as terrible as when I'm in here with DS1, talking of which, he has this cold and I'm praying he can deal with it at home with some intense physio otherwise we'll be in here for Christmas.
I can honestly say if I never hear another oxygen meter alarm again it will be too soon!

Someone forgot to tell J that he's not an Owl though, sleeps soundly all day apart from 3 feeds and wakes all night. Problem is he's not quite sure what to do when he's awake and not feeding so he fills the time by yelling and pooping. :D

ValiumQueen Sat 15-Dec-12 21:59:19

nervous it is amazing how much they can consume to vomit that much. They must have hollow legs!

Thank you ladies. I will keep going one feed at a time. Shame one feed is lasting days it seems.

I just stripped him off to look at his wonderful fatness. I made him (with a small deposit from DH, and a lot of help from God) and I am sustaining him. That helped.

Off to bed shortly. He must sleep eventually!

jenbird Sat 15-Dec-12 22:09:44

Good news tits. Def sounds like a step in the right direction. Hope your DS1 stays well for Christmas.
Sophia good work! How old are your dc's? I have my first night on my own on Tuesday. Dh is playing squash and won't be back at all. Ds1 has a beavers night out and dd1 has gymnastics. Slightly worried it will all go tits up!
I have a moby and a baby Bjorn. I was given te moby but to be honest am finding it hard to get on with. I just don't feel confident that it is secure. I love my baby Bjorn though.
Positive sleep vibes to all. My small girl slept 6 hours unbroken last night. It was fab. vq I def found my boys more demanding on the feeding front than the girls. Was great for weight loss though! X

TheDetective Sat 15-Dec-12 22:12:03

Doing one handed typing, as can't bear to put my sleeping bambino down!

VQ You can do this! You know you are a stubborn mule, yes?! You are doing a fabulous job! I would keep looking at Oscar and seeing him grow and thrive by me feeding him - it kept me going for a while. It is such a lovely feeling. It is one I miss. The one I miss most tbh.

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 22:19:29

VQ you are doing a wonderful job. It can be easy to lose perspective but sometimes it just takes a good look at your scrummy baby to remind you why we do this.

To carrt on the topic of OH's being useless - does anyone elses OH make them feel like a bad mother? DF is a natural at this parenting lark - me less so, but he gets really frustrated with me and 'tells me off' when I do things wrong (i.e not his way). Today alone I have been told off for not putting on a nappy securely enough, wrapping O up too warm when taking him for a walk & not 'driving' the pram properly. I feel like as Oscar's mummy I should know what is best for him but DF is really making me feel like a crap mum. sad I feel like the way he does certain things is wrong - nappies on too tight etc - but he wont even entertain the fact that I might be right and I dont have the confidence to argue my point.

Wishing you all a good night with sleeping babies smile

An interesting night here last night. DT1 has decided that she no longer wants to sleep in her cot between 7pm-11pm and that hanging out downstairs with the grown ups is far more fun. She stayed awake for 4 hours last night which resulted in her sleeping through the night! She slept solidly from 11:30pm-7:22am! DP fed DT2 so I got a full nights sleep, my second in 11 weeks.

My sister and her DP visited today. They took the girls out from 12pm-5pm. Apart from hanging washing, I slept the whole time! It was great. They should visit more often!

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend smile

grr dont even get me started on OH! DD was born exactly a week ago and for the first couple of days he was great, helping with night feeds, seemed reli confident etc. then on wednesday his mum arrived to stay till friday, she was very helpful - even did the housework for us to give us a break! since she left tho its like hes lost all his confidence! he wont feed her, change her bum, dress her, he doesnt even like to hold her for more than 5 mins and he will only do that because he has to (i.e i need the loo) its so bloody frustrating and i dont understand it.

if she strts crying he comes in and says 'she wants her mummy' but he wont actually bring her out to me-i have to go to her whereas b4 he wud pick her up and cuddle her.

he has started to do more housework but hes only doing it so he doesnt have to look after or hold her, its soo frustrating and upsetting coz he was so gd with her b4 his mum turned up and now he wont go near her unless he has no choice.....just wish i knew y sad

priscilla101 Sat 15-Dec-12 22:33:25

There is a Spanish saying that translates to something like: listen to the mother, she knows. Sweetpea, try that as a mantra?

TheDetective Sat 15-Dec-12 22:34:27

We get 1 or 2 periods of awake and alertness - usually one. 1-2 hours each time. He wakes 3 hourly for feeds, and is very good at settling after now. Feeding, changing and settling takes an hour.

Had a lovely day. Got a lie in this morning, then we manged to get ready and out the house in under 2 hours which is really record time for us! It helped that I told DP he could not go on the computer - even if he thought he had time, I had things he could fill it with!

So we spent all afternoon in town, Oscar fed at 1030, but threw most of the feed back, and had only taken 2oz. So as he was still asleep at 3.30 we found the M&S cafe in town, which had baby changing facilities, got some hot chocolates, and woke him for a feed. He must have been too well wrapped up, as he was boiling. Lesson learnt! His snow suit is only thin too! Took that off him, and just left him with hat and blanket on in the end. He fed 3oz then went straight back to sleep! He didn't wake again til we got home at 8! Then he fed loads, and had his awake time, playing on his play mat, batting the toys. He has better hand/eye coordination than me grin. We got some lovely smiles from him too! He really is so contented. I feel blessed - DS1 was NOTHING like this!

I bought a load of clothes - which I have to try on yet, as I really couldn't be arsed doing it when out! I just got my normal size, but stuff which will not cling to the flabby bits grin.

Majority of christmas shopping now done. Going to get wrapping tomorrow!

I feel all happy and contented. Loving weekends while DP is off. Sadly it is the last one. He is back in work Friday. sad

Hope everyone else had a nice day too. Especially Tits, good news about the tube! Poor little mite. And poor mummy too. smile

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 22:36:00

That sounds strange mummytobe Do you think his mum said anything to him about his parenting skills when she visited? Or maybe he is getting overwhelmed by the whole thing? Either way, it is hard on you. I don't think OHs realise the impact childbirth and early motherhood has on us - recovering from the birth, crazy hormones & lack of sleep. They only experience a very small part of it really.

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 22:43:05

Detective that sounds lovely. I love Oscar's alert moments. He seems to smile but I am sure it is just wind. Although my son is obviously the cleverest, bestest baby in the world ever, I am not sure he is advanced enough at 17 days old to be properly smiling just yet grin

i wish i knew sweetpea i really do but if i ask him he just shrugs his shoulders and clams up. but all i can think of is that his mum sed something whilst i wasnt around sad just wish i knew how to help him, the more i try and get him to engage with her the more he seems to push her away. i see the way he looks at her and i know he wants to hold her etc but its allmost like hes so uncomfortable/fearful that he cant bear to go near her

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 22:46:17

Hopefully all he needs is time to build his confidence again. Parenthood is such a steep learning curve and you learn new things each day - hopefully by just watching you with baby he will pick it up again?

sweetpea1112 Sat 15-Dec-12 22:46:52

Either that or he just needs a big kick up the backside grin

hahaha hopefully it is just a case of bein patient but i certainly wont tolerate it for long....it takes 2 to make a baby....its not rite to feel like a single parent when im bloody married!

pikz Sat 15-Dec-12 22:58:19

Anyone else had enough of sanitary towels and breast pads? This evening I just want to take them all off...so sick of them after over 3 weeks..

NervousAt20 Sat 15-Dec-12 22:58:28

sweet I'm sure your doing a great job so many people say that a mothers instinct is the strongest so stick with it and trust yourself

garden I'm very envy of your sleep

mm could his DM have critised him and his he does things which had mfr him now want to do anything so he doesn't do it wrong?

Really struggling with feeding here too, I don't know how much longer I cando these cluster feeds

Nervous, it is not the norm, don't be envy. I will probably be doomed now and never sleep again.

You are doing well with the BF, keep it up!

Oh and as for my sister visiting, she lives 130 miles away in London and visits every couple of months. I have no other family here, the nearest are 2000 miles away! It is literally me and DP!

MissMummy1 Sat 15-Dec-12 23:04:51

I have the opposite mummy - my OH totally takes over where dd is concerned and makes me feel like the crappest mum in the world, like I can't do anything right myself (sorry baby brain cant remember who else had this complaint, was it you sweetpea ?) I know it won't last - he goes back offshore in January so I'll get my interference-free mummy + Matilda time then. I'm really struggling to remember why I even like the bastard twunt today, let alone love him. I think our relationship only works because he's at sea most of the time blush. I feel awful even saying that, today's the first day I've felt this way about him. I'm ridiculously overtired. Explains a lot...

Dd has started giggling in her sleep. I know it's just a reflex but it is ridiculously cute! (if somewhat disturbing lol). My sister has taught my dog to be a meerkat in the time since we last had him here - photo on fb for those needing a giggle!

blonderthanred Sat 15-Dec-12 23:16:31

VQ you've had a rough ride with J's illness but hopefully once all that mucous has come up it will be back to being a normal amount of difficult rather than the current state. You are doing a great job so just ride this bit out if you can and vent on here. Hope you are getting some support from your DH.

I have had a very fussy boy tonight, screaming at the breast for no apparent reason - I suspect overtired. He's finally fallen asleep in my arms and I'm not even going to attempt transfer for a while! Currently trying to stifle a sneeze that threatens to disturb the peace...

MM1 My OH is the same. He does so much that I sometimes feel sidelined. I suppose I should be grateful that he's so hands-on because I know a lot of men are not.

I want to sleep and DS is sitting wide eyed on my lap, gurgling away confused I'm sitting downstairs with him. Persuaded DP to go to bed as he has to be up early for work.

TheDetective Sun 16-Dec-12 01:38:31

I sense a theme here! Us women are never satisfied lol! They either don't do enough, or take over!

I'd feel sorry for them... Except, I forgot how to feel that grin.

I can however say, BLOODY MEN!

Dixiebell Sun 16-Dec-12 03:23:59

Just to even it out a bit, my DH is a star. He does practically all the changes, including middle of the night, he's cooked nearly every meal since the birth, does all the washing up, the house is tidier than it ever has been, and he does a great job of entertaining ds1. I'm just scared about what will happen when he goes back to work on Monday! Ok, so we did have an incident with rice pudding that was horrendously overcooked mush with no sugar in it confused, so he's not perfect, but he has been great.

Bryzoan Sun 16-Dec-12 03:48:28

Dixie - there has to be a business opportunity there for you to start an OH training school. That way he wouldn't have to go back to work.... Though you might have a lot of trainee muppet OHs under your feet all day!

CandyPop Sun 16-Dec-12 04:07:33

Have a quick question on breast milk supply. So have been told the nighttime feed is important to establish the milk supply for the following day so the feed between 2-5 is very important.

My LO had a feed at 11.30pm , just feed her again at 3.30am which was a 4hr interval ( before anyone gets jealous it took 2 of the 4 hrs to feed as settle her!) . Her normal intervals is 3hrs so the next feed would now be at 6.30am. So I've only managed one feed in the 'must feed' window of opportunity .

Is this ok? Does that mean the breast I haven't fed with would reduce in milk supply?! And I don't understand, if the night feed is important to edtablish ongoing supply then how are we suppose to begin to establish a routine where baby goes longer at night without a fed?!

My LO is 5 weeks now.....

NervousAt20 Sun 16-Dec-12 04:09:15

Get idea bryzoan where do we sign up dixie? grin

NervousAt20 Sun 16-Dec-12 04:12:23

candy I don't think it will matter to much, other bf babies got longer then that sometimes at night , I'm in no way an expert though and I could be weong

priscilla101 Sun 16-Dec-12 04:29:29

Candy, my LO just did exactly the same....even took two hours to feed at the 11.30 feed. Just gone down now. Not too worried I think at 5 weeeks we can relax a little about the length of time between feeds, esp at night??

How is the jaundice in you LO? Mine still has yellow sclera, but skin looks much better....

ChunkyTurkeywiththetrimmings Sun 16-Dec-12 04:59:40

Dixie envy That is all.

Bryzoan grin

candy similar situation here - 4hrs between feeds (& I did sleep for most of that thankfully!!). Both boobs very full, but used the boob not used recently as you do. DS didn't want any of other boob. Figure its quite clever & trust my body to do what it needs to do. I think as long as you feed when baby wants, don't use a dummy or similar to extend between feeds & aren't using a bottle instead of feeding at night (unless you express instead), the supply matches demand.

Sophiathesnowfairy Sun 16-Dec-12 05:23:17

6hours sleep in a row grin

StuntNun Sun 16-Dec-12 05:41:34

I wouldn't worry Candy, so long as you're demand feeding it will work out. If your supply starts to drop them baby will feed more often to increase your supply so you would find the 2-5 a.m. feed made a comeback. Once bfing is established then your breasts don't get full like that as your supply has been fine-tuned so that milk is produced as it is needed rather than building up in your breast as it does now goodbye porn star boobs. If you continue bfing for a long time you'll eventually reach the point where you're feeding twice a day, usually morning and evening, since your baby is getting most of their calories from food.

Dixiebell Sun 16-Dec-12 06:27:09

grin I am feeling rather lucky with my DH now!

After a 5 hour stint last night, Teddy is punishing me levelling it out with two-hourly waking tonight. Might go on Amazon and look up teasmaids now...

CandyPop Sun 16-Dec-12 06:34:10

Thanks girls. Ok I will trust my body!

priscilla we went to see te consultant on weds, I actually thought he jaudice had gone as she wasn't yellow in the face nor eyes no more but consultant said she still was as when he pressed her body ans was sitill slightly yellow. They took more blood and was suppose to call yeterday to give results. I missed their call in the morning. i called back 3 times to try to speak to someone, they kept on saying they will call back but in the end still haven't angry I will try again today.

I know we were told to feed her every 3 hrs cause of her jaundice but her jaundice does appear to be getting better plus I stuck by that rule durin day so i fifured relaxing it during the night should be ok.

kirrinIsland Sun 16-Dec-12 06:50:48

This is getting worse not better sad After a 4 hour sleep from 11-3, she then wakes every hour. This is the second night she's done this - hope it's not going to carry on for too long.

sweetpea1112 Sun 16-Dec-12 06:52:32

Yep it was me with the same OH issue MM Can't wait until he goes back to work. 10 days and counting....I have been up for half an hour and have already been told off for putting a dirty tea towel in the washing machine as it wasn't dirty enough (it was) and for wanting to have cuddles with O when I got up rather than putting him down in his basket (despite DF doing this EVERY morning and O being wide awake!)

He did the night shift last night and O slept brilliantly and was very settled which of course adds weight to his theory that I am a crap mother. This has been the hardest thing about motherhood for me - even worse than the lack of sleep. I dream about having a supportive partner who isn't constantly looking down on me sad

Hope everyone has had a good night.

Thechick Sun 16-Dec-12 07:20:09

Hello all. Hope everyone is good. My LO is 10 weeks today. I think we are starting to get responsive smiles, but they are open mouth ones so I'm not exactly sure and he's cooing but without making the sound. Sleeping very badly at night and having longer awake periods during the day.
I have a very hands on dh. He does all the nappy changes during the night every night and goes to work full time. He will sit up with me during the nighttime feeds sometimes. He does a big share of the housework and cooking meals. I didn't realise I was so lucky, I thought all dads did this. We talk a lot. He's not perfect and neither am I, so if there is anything that we are not happy with I tell him and he keeps his to himself.
We don't have a sling yet. I borrowed a moby, a mei tai and an ergo from my local sling library. LO didn't like the moby, I'm getting a mei tai for now and an ergo for when he is bigger.
My LO would love to sleep on his belly. There's been a couple of times during tummy time that he's started falling asleep was gutted to have to wake him.
We are having a few breastfeeding issues. I spoke to a bf consultant last week, but it looks like her techniques aren't working. It's like he's forgotten how to latch. It's quite distressing. We get there in the end but there's lots of crying before hand
Bought a tree yesterday and my double issue Christmas radio times, Christmas can now begin in my household.

Thechick Sun 16-Dec-12 07:39:32

Just reread my post, when I said, I thought all dads did this, I meant wanting to help out and be with their child, and support their partner. I've told him he doesn't have to do the night time stuff during the week but he says that he wants to. I'm not sure who said it but I was really shocked by the person who said their OH swore at their child because they were crying for 20 mins. That's not nice at all.

Thechick Sun 16-Dec-12 07:47:22

sweetpea and mm I really think you should talk to your OH. They shouldn't be making you feel like this. You are going to be parenting this child for the next 18 yrs so you really need to find a way to work together.