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October 2012 babies part 2: winding, yawning and grizzling, and first smiles?

(1000 Posts)
YompingJo Tue 13-Nov-12 05:20:10

Part 2: in which our babies learn to sleep through the night and make us tea in the morning <hopeful face>

Thanks for the new thread Yomping. I share your hopes for the future! grin

hufflepuffle Tue 13-Nov-12 06:50:26

Yay! Thanks Yomping! I love Your second title!! Baby Huffle has been asleep since 11.30. It is now 6.47...... Should I be overwhelmingly delighted or concerned?? He is still snuffling and huffling away there. Flip. Think I'll hav to lift him, this is rather disconcerting. Let the screaming commence!

Beeblebear Tue 13-Nov-12 07:03:02

Lo is just falling asleep again. Since 6pm he will eat, fall asleep for 30 minutes but will wake up 5 to 10 minutes after being put down. It is now midnight.

londonlivvy Tue 13-Nov-12 07:14:14

Thanks fr the new thread yomping

Huffle that sounds awesome! Your bean is quite big, right? Therefore it is fine. It is only with teeny tiny ones like mine that I have to wake her if she doesn't wake (not that that is a problem) to feed her every 3-4 hours.

beeble that sounds exhausting. Can you stave off the next feed by half an hour or so with a dummy? If I do this she is often more awake and feeds better at the next feed. Just a thought.

I have been going to bed for naps at lunchtime when she does, and going to bed v early 830 last night, and ha e worked out I've had about 7 hours kip over the last 24 hours. In lots of smaller segments of course, but that cheers me a bit. The mat nurse says its important to take note of good things that happen each day, or lovely moments with your LO, so as to boost your morale when you're having a tough bit with screamathon.

Twobuttonsaway Tue 13-Nov-12 07:34:49

Morning all, brew love the title of this, can't wait for a smile! Baby buttons is 4.5 weeks (born 12/10) so a bit of a wait yet I suspect. Sleeping through would be wonderful too of course... But some way off if this baby follows his brother, he went through at 16 weeks! Cat napping is the answer londonlivvy you are so right, i do it now but didn't with DS1 and feel sooooooo much better this time.

hufflepuffle Tue 13-Nov-12 07:43:16

Lindonmrss hope you got some sleep, poor thing. You did right thing getting some distance for while, baby will be fine crying for while. Hugs xx

Livvy so good to hear you a bit more upbeat, yay for lovely maternity nurse and her sage advice!!

Beeble That sounds tough. Can you try to wake him to feed more before putting down? Might a fuller tummy help? My monster feeder will certainly wake quickly if not ate enough or still windy. Hope you got somewhere

Mega sleeper boy has drained a booby and is asleep again. Going to risk a shower before DH leaves


hufflepuffle Tue 13-Nov-12 07:43:34

Lindonmrss hope you got some sleep, poor thing. You did right thing getting some distance for while, baby will be fine crying for while. Hugs xx

Livvy so good to hear you a bit more upbeat, yay for lovely maternity nurse and her sage advice!!

Beeble That sounds tough. Can you try to wake him to feed more before putting down? Might a fuller tummy help? My monster feeder will certainly wake quickly if not ate enough or still windy. Hope you got somewhere

Mega sleeper boy has drained a booby and is asleep again. Going to risk a shower before DH leaves


LoopyLa Tue 13-Nov-12 08:28:47

Beeble was v interested to hear about the activities you listed in the last thread - where did you get the inspiration from? I'm keen to ensure that when Baby Loopy is awake & alert that I'm doing something 'developmental' with him.

hufflepuffle Tue 13-Nov-12 09:16:17

Sorry. Finishing birth story here. Please please feel free not to read as tbh the purpose of this is mostly self help and I am finding putting it down is helping but is boring as hell for you I'm sure!!

So baby was out, medical team relievedly left, delighted not to take it further. MW said that I wanted a physiological 3rd stage. I actually laughed out loud and told her I couldn't push so much as a feather and to do whatever the hell she wanted to get placenta out!! Feeling of that slithering out was strangely nice.....!

She had good look at bits, surgeon came back in and said I had 1 tear which needed 40 mind surgery. Luckily got to feed bubba before they took me and flip me the pattern was set for Mr Monster feeder!!

Surgery actually took 2 hrs. dH convinced I was not comin back. So pissed off that I did it all on no drugs and needed feckin epidural for surgery!!! Discovers I also had large internal vaginsl tear and perineal one had ruptured anal sphincter.... Lot of repair needed. Think blood loss was mostly due to long surgery, almost 2 litres. Slept thru most of. Quite bizarre!

Returned to v relieved DH who was sent home by MW- still the angelic wonderful one. She took bubs away as despite modern rooming advice they insisted I needed to sleep deeply. No problemo, this was wee hours Wedbesday, been awake since Monday am!!

Next day admitted me to private room, harmoglobin hideous. 2 transfusions, loads of antibiotics and painkillers and bowel moving stuff. Total stay 5 days which were quite blurred to say the least. But my recovery was fast and impressive!! Loads of help with BF and changing and I cried when another lovely wonderful MW bathed me, I felt like a little child..... Will never forget her either.

So. Thanks for reading. My shock has settled. I was so bitterly disappointed not to hav the beautiful hypno type birth I thougt I would, I felt so let down by my body and DH will never forget the fear he felt but I am so v v v glad that I went for hospital birth and not the lovely MW unit......

Next time is elective section, should I ever do it, as they concerned about further anal damage.... Nice!

Oh and whoever suggested Tena pants, I will love u forever!!!!!! Being doubly incontinent for week was the lowest of lows but those babies saved my blushes big time!!!!!!

Now if I can only get rid of this feckin nipple thrush I will truly be over all this shite and start to enjoy motherhood!!!

Xx xx

Midgetm Tue 13-Nov-12 09:50:17

huffle I thought my two birthing stories were hardcore but it pales in comparison. You really have been through it. After my first one I swore I would go ELCS actually I swore never again as both DH and I thought it would kill me! but for some reason I still went vaginal no idea why - mentalist anyway from all you have been through you are coping so well and I am very green at your snuffling sleeping baby envy

DH and I convinced master nudge gas been smiling for a while but lady night and this morning we got some unmistakable grins. I am no longer bored of newborns and have decided I will be keeping him a bit longer. <heart melts again - of course I can cope with 2> for now anyway

Off to see sky fall at baby cinema. So excited - a trip out just for me. God I am a looser....

Midgetm Tue 13-Nov-12 09:51:48

Auto correct fail...

Master midge has ......

YompingJo Tue 13-Nov-12 10:01:47

Livvy, does that mean my little monster (weigh in today, suspect over 10lbs now shock) is allowed to sleep for more than 4 hours and go for more than 4hrs between feeds if she is asleep? Where does this info come from, I thought I had read similar somewhere but have not been able to find it again to check. I've been waking her 4 hrs after last feed (back in the dim distant past of last week when she did sleep for longer stretches...<frazzled emoticon>) just to be on safe side. Would love not to have to, is fecking ridiculous rubbish waking up in middle of night to wake up a sleeping baby sad

We are beginning Day 3 of Near Permanent Grizzlathon, will it ever end?

Also, a question. Is it OK when baby is (finally) asleep for a while, to pop her (in her carrycot) in another room and watch a film? DH says it's fine and that I am allowed a break (he is worried about me) but I feel very guilty doing this. I feel like she should be with me all the time, and putting her where I can't see her, and won't hear her grizzle just before she wakes, makes me a terrible mum confused. I do also want her with me, and it was weird when we did this last night. The worst thing was the sinking feeling when the film ended and real life flooded back in and I realised that I had actually forgotten for a bit that I am a walking boob with constant demands on me and no life, and it was nice to forget that for a while but remembering it made me resent it properly for the first time, then I felt awful for feeling resentment! Not sure that me getting a break is worth the resentment and subsequent guilt about the resentment hmm

New Mum Guilt Reflex fully functioning here blush

hufflepuffle Tue 13-Nov-12 10:16:22

Yomping similar guilt here! DH will happily leave him in 1 room in carrycot, I struggle. Confession time..... I went to work on Sunday for 2 hrs to do October VAT. Odd mixture of horrified, guilty, tearful and delighted to do something so normal! DH took bubs for long walk, everyone fine!

hufflepuffle Tue 13-Nov-12 10:20:19

And yes, think once bubba bigger is ok to sleep long if I happens. Not assuming that is norm, but he was ok when finally up! Fed and went back for 2 hrs more!!

Thanks Midget and others for responding to my long story. Was all a bit mad but is over and I am ok. Actually think haunts DH much more!! I was offered counselling, think he should hav been!!

hufflepuffle Tue 13-Nov-12 10:21:43

Oh and baby cinema midget???? Cool! I am intrigued!!

Midgetm Tue 13-Nov-12 10:41:20

Huffle my DH is still a little traumatised 5 years after DD1. The fear of thinking you may lose mother and baby is awful and they are also powerless. I always felt more bad for him than for me. Lots of cinemas do mother and baby screenings, they are a life saver. Odeon do them, also screen in the green.

Leaving baby in another room is fine in my eyes leaving in cupboards or another house, not fine

londonlivvy Tue 13-Nov-12 11:29:17

yomping I read it in the baby whisperer. The point is, if they are solid and gaining fast then they don't need to feed as often at night. Their stomach is bigger so they can take in more food and thus last longer. Lucky you!

huffle cripes. That sounds like quite an ordeal. I'm glad you are mending now. Indeed you must be, to be able to do a VAT return!

We leave her in Moses basket in our bedroom, though I do stare at the baby monitor like a crazy person and run upstairs periodically to check she is still breathing. I also feel guilty about resenting her at times. And whilst watching a film is good for morale, it ain't good for sleep. I am aiming to be in bed by 8pm most nights so I get some sleep during hours of darkness, even if it is very chopped up.

dD did NOT want to settle for her nap this morning, despite having yawned for ages. I tried all the soothing tips from mat nurse but no joy. I ended up going for a walk to get her to drop off. Meant no sleep for me, sadly. And means that some of yesterday's confidence has gone. Argh. Why couldn't I settle her? Also means am a bit apprehensive re lunchtime nap. Must stay calm. My sis says being calm yourself really helps. Hum. Hard to create calm if you are not feeling it.

Woolybob Tue 13-Nov-12 11:40:26

Thanks for sharing huffle, sounds like you did fantastically to me x

I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that it's only the first couple of weeks that a baby can be too sleepy to wake for food but also not sure where! I just wake DD in the day to help with the day/night training.

We are just coming out of 48 hours of fun and games, like a little holiday back to week 1! On the plus side I am now the world authority on unblocking blocked ducts (3 in as many days ffs). Went to local bf group ans they say this is more likely with a growth spurt as baby goes boob to boob feeding more frantically and not properly finishing so I might try just one boob per feed once things calm down.

On the plus side DD seems more her usual self, had a bath with her this am (as DH was around to pass her in and take her away) which was lovely and she's started smiling properly while making eye contact which is great!

Our local independent cinema also does a mum and baby film once a week - it's in the picturehouse group so guessing they all do? Not been yet but def going to go!

Angelico Tue 13-Nov-12 11:51:16

Checking in and waving and marking place smile Huffle that was a hardcore birth story - hope all your poor bits and bobs are recovering well, you did amazingly well thanks Hurrah for livvy's lovely nurse giving good advice. And yomping let the bean sleep as long as they will - ours slept 5 to 6 hours early on (just sadly not always at night) and MW said about waking, I was like hmm yeah right because obviously I'm not sleep deprived enough... She started waking more after about 3 weeks, had a pattern of feeding every 4.5 hrs, recently been more frequent as she was having a mad growth spurt (Sat night every 2.5 hrs, aaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhh!). Back to normal now thank God, feeding every 3-4 hrs during the day.

Anyway last night she slept from midnight until nearly 6am. Unfortunately boobs were exploding by the time she woke so apparently every silver lining has a cloud... confused

And to offer more hope to all our lovely postman brought parcel this morning and he was so happy - their 12 week old slept for 12 hours last night! He was grinning from ear to ear. Told him I was holding on to that thought... grin

bella2012 Tue 13-Nov-12 12:14:44

am very happy fot all those with babies who sleep longer than 2 hours at a time (and trying hard not to be jealous) the guilt is the worst thing. I am just too tired to be a character ALL THE TIME like ds1 wants. Even when we look at a book while i am feeding he won't let me just read it-he wants me to make up conversations between the pictures. Usually I love this kind of imaginative play, but am just not up to it right now. There is never ever a minute off. If baby is asleep, I have to respond to ds1's needs and try to make it up to him that I am always cuddling his brother. Dh got in at 11 last night and set off on the 6.30 train this morning. I miss him so much. Moan moan moan. Just feel so down. Sorry.

hufflepuffle Tue 13-Nov-12 12:35:33

Hugs to you Bella. I honestly do not know how anyone coping with older and newborn kiddies. I honestly do not know if I could do it. Always assumed 2 children, might change my mind!!!

Thinking of you and any others in same boart, you must be so exhausted. I know we all keep saying it, but things can only get better and will all become a distant memory!! (punch huffle for that patronising pain of a comment we all sick of!!)

lisbethsopposite Tue 13-Nov-12 14:25:44

God this thread is flying-

Question, already asked but i may have missed the answer,
circumcision has anyone had it done? don't laugh you know what i mean.
did you beebleb
excuse 1 handed typing

lisbethsopposite Tue 13-Nov-12 15:01:14

Paul is sitting on my lap facing computer - so cute (I think).

Huffel loved your birth story - ditto on the pooing and also a Tena fan here. Go girl, you may be tiny but you are impressive grin

Londonlivvy delighted you got the nurse. Really really delighted. A little help might be the difference between enjoying your baby or having one of the worst experiences of your life. Money well spent i think.

I also agree with your advice to Yomping, only little babies need to be woken. I don't know when they go from 'little' but I would not wake Paul now - I don't know his weight but he is 7 weeks.

Londonmrs in the sea of advice I have been given, I like the best, the stuff that comes from older generations. My childminder says, when your head is done in, put them in their cot, close the door, come away and have a cup of tea. They can come to no harm in 5 mins. Even a few mins helps.
I find if I put him down and just have a glass of water, just not to hear the screams for a few moments helps. I am replenished and able to help enormously after.

squidkid Tue 13-Nov-12 15:11:41

Marking place

And a quick question - I don't like letting baby squid scream but what do people do when they're driving? I just drove back from my sister's (45 mins) and she screamed the whole way and I know I haven't done her any harm but I feel wretched. She was fed and changed before we left, she just hates the car. Should I stop? (and then do what?) Should I ignore it? I just turned the music up... I feel horrible sad

squidkid Tue 13-Nov-12 15:16:09

huffle jeeeeessus you are a hero girl. Sounds like you did amazingly well... so sorry about your big tear. Have a low threshold for going back and demanding someone has another look if you have any problems, ok... often lots they can do and I've met too many people who suffered in silence

God, there's not been a lot of hypobollocks in our birth stories, has there? I feel really guilty for being a bit shellshocked after my birth now, just cause it was intense painful stop-starty and long! obviously I am a lucky cow!

lisbethsopposite Tue 13-Nov-12 15:20:01

Normally Paul sleeps the minute we drive off, that was tough Squid.

I don't think I would recommend ignoring 45 mins of scream. Once P screamed in car seat and when I picked him up - big burp. You are sure there is nothing physical wrong - comfort/hunger/wind. How about music?
If there was someone in the backseat to talk to her and that stopped her then I would think it was boredom

squidkid Tue 13-Nov-12 15:21:49

I was on the motorway, and alone sad

She really hates the car - she screams every time - so I don' think it's physical - when we drive and there's two of us I sit in the back and stroke her and shush her

Quite grateful I live city centre and walk almost everywhere !!

lisbethsopposite Tue 13-Nov-12 15:48:09

Will she settle then, once she has someone to talk to her?

Is she doing the baby equivalent of 'are we there yet'?

squidkid Tue 13-Nov-12 16:07:30

It feels like she's panicking because she can't see me - or is that a ridiculous thing to think about a 6 week old...

I sing to her loudly and put music on and that usually helps a bit but not today!

hufflepuffle Tue 13-Nov-12 16:23:27

Aw Squid that's a pity. Car always sends our little man to a deep sleep in about 2 mins!! No idea what to suggest!! Thanks for advice. Tbh I cannot believe how well body has healed, rather impressed! I am however still on double dose fibogel and lactulose and No idea when to start weaning off!!!! Hav GP apr on Fri to check haemoglobin, will ask then.

Yeah, laughed about the hypnobollocks during labour but I am still a fan!! I was petrified if labour pre preg and it got me thru 9 months confidently. Helped me relax and sleep and understand that whatever wud happen I'd manage! Didn't bother with post natal CD tho....... Meh!

bella2012 Tue 13-Nov-12 16:27:42

huffle thank you for responding to me. Just having a down day, but as you said 'it will get better'.

Olivess Tue 13-Nov-12 16:28:23

Haven't managed to post for a while. Things have been very hectic. Baby olives is nearly 4 weeks, can't believe how quickly time is flying. MIL is staying this week which is a bit of a strain but I'm just trying to ignore the silly comments and get through the week.

Massive respect to those with breast feeding issues, we also seem to have a bit of thrush, don't think it's too bad but have got some drops and cream to try and nip it in the bud.

squid baby olives can also scream in the car. Sometimes she's ok but sometimes she'll cry for the whole journey, it's a bit of a myth I think that all babies fall asleep in the car, she's definitely cried for 30 mins coming back from my mums. I have just kept driving, tried singing and talking to her but it is very stressful I know, I am just hoping that as she gets older she'll get more used to it.

Just had a visit from the health visitor who made me feel very bad for co-sleeping. She looked at me like I was the worst mum in the world. She basically said that we should just let baby cry it out in the Moses basket or she will never get used to it, don't think I can do that though...I feel really upset about it, I didn't set out to co-sleep but it's the only way at the moment that I'm going to get any sleep. But at the same time I'm worried that something might happen. She also told me that research was favourable because it was all done with babies from other cultures where they have sleeping arrangements more conducive to co-sleeping so there aren't so many problems. Basically she was saying the research shouldn't be trusted to be accurate. Now I don't know what to think or do...the last thing I want is to harm her in any way but she literally hates the Moses basket! Doesn't help MIL making comments about how baby is spoilt! Feeling stressed and upset. Rant over.

Woolybob Tue 13-Nov-12 17:13:50

squid does she like white noise? Could detune the radio maybe? Otherwise safest thing may be ignore it and concentrate on the road, it is hard to bear thou.

olivess no way you can spoil a baby that young. Your HV sounds like a nobber. They are a mixed bunch, mine is nice bit a mate was telling me hers spent the whole visit criticising the fireplace (on aesthetic rather than baby safety grounds). Anyway if co-sleeping is a definate no no then why do they publish guidelines on doing it safely??

lisbethsopposite Tue 13-Nov-12 17:21:03

Olive I am sleeping with DS2 - I never did with DS1, because he would never close his eyes in the bed with me. We are doing fine this time round with DS2.
I am doing it because it makes sleeping and BF easier but as it happens I LOVE it - to look down at that contented face... wonderful,

So much of the day is busy, this is our together time and I would not give it up on one wrong (misinformed) opinion

crazypaving Tue 13-Nov-12 17:46:36

marking place back later

Elpis Tue 13-Nov-12 18:23:52

olivess I'm with lisbethsopposite. The HV is ill-informed. Co-sleeping is safe if you take the right precautions, the most important of which are not to drink or do drugs before bed. And God knows where any of us would score anything illegal right now. (On the other hand, a bunch of new grads have just moved in next door...) In fact, from what I've read the research is skewed negatively because a lot of it was done in deprived communities. I didn't co-sleep with DD and nights were a far, far more stressful experience than they are now.

My HV stayed a long time and at one point asked: 'How would you describe your childhood?'


'What do you mean by that?'


Elpis Tue 13-Nov-12 18:38:26

Midgetm Oh, am so envy of you seeing Skyfall. I can't go to mother and baby screenings because I always have to pick up DD from preschool at noon, and they invariably start around 11am. Would adore to have a Daniel Craig fix. Maybe if DH can be persuaded to take a day of his leave and not insist on working through it or rearranging mousetraps. hmm

Midgetm Tue 13-Nov-12 18:48:41

Elpis I had to make an emergency call to get someone to collect dd from
School blush. Film started later than expected. (bad mummy emoticon)

Midgetm Tue 13-Nov-12 18:50:52

My health visitor asked if I was a victim of domestic violence and also dropped in a question about PND but didn't give me time to answer. Guessing if I had PND this may not be an effective way of finding out. She also made me feel bad for co sleeping. Said even if I have one glass of wine at 5pm I shouldn't co sleep. angry

Beeblebear Tue 13-Nov-12 19:02:40

Huffle so glad you got your birth story down. A lot reminded me of my own. Luckily i only had second degree tear... But also had stitches in where they put catheter in and where one of my fissure split too. Ugh. 3weeks and 4 days now and all the stitches r gone but still not feeling 100. Seems when i flex my pelvic floor (like ehen i stop peeing) i get an odd tugging sensation that is a little painful about where my stitches were in the front. Going to mention it at the dr tomorrow.

Also, what tipped you off initially with the thrush? My mil said something about ds bum rash, then my mom said someyhing about ds mouth (but i dont see any white spots) but then my nipples have been tender and itchy. Thought i was alergic to my breast pads so i boight a new brand, same thing. So my mil (LC) said to go to dr and tell them i have thrush.


YompingJo Tue 13-Nov-12 19:10:44

I have found the white noise app on my phone great for car journeys. Start app up, turn volume to max. Stick in carseat next to baby. Most of the time it settles her right down.

Had weigh in today. 24 days old. 10lb 11oz shock. Monster baby!

Beeblebear Tue 13-Nov-12 19:11:37

Loopy, i have gathered pieces of info from here or there. Google "sensory play by age" someone here had sent some good links a ways back probably around thread 3 or 4.

Squid: re trips in the car. Are you using a soother? Ds will scream in the car until eith he gets thw soother, or i reach behind the passenger seat and let him suck my finger for 2 minutes and then he falls asleep. This usually means he scrrams intil i am driving aomewherr i feel is safe to do this.

hufflepuffle Tue 13-Nov-12 19:25:59

Beeble and any others, first symptom thrush really was pain after feeding but I thought this was due to cracks. MW and HV ummed and ahhed. Friday morn had some little red spots on areola, thought it was DS sucking too hard...... By fri eve entire nipples and areola bright red. Struggled to sleep with pain. Sat AM went to out of hours. No white spots on me, that does not really happen apparently. DS had v slightly white tongue but no spots. Intense pain due to thrush bring in ducts. Deep boring, gets worse as hour goes on post feed.

So if u hav pain after feeding be careful!! Had I got this few days before I realised, would hav cleared up faster!! Nothing like thrush down below, and that is bloody back too!!!! Aargh!!

hufflepuffle Tue 13-Nov-12 19:27:52

Oh and that sounds uncomfortable Beeble. Def needs checked out, maybe something too tight? Hope u get some help with. X

lisbethsopposite Tue 13-Nov-12 19:35:55

can i mention 2 things i bought

water wipes 99.9% water .1% fruit - i have been using since birth with no problem.

quilted babygro- next and mothercare do them. i don't use sleepbag with baby in my bed and keeping covers lowish

hufflepuffle Tue 13-Nov-12 19:37:21

Oh and that sounds uncomfortable Beeble. Def needs checked out, maybe something too tight? Hope u get some help with. X

And I too thought it was a reaction to breast pads. Cross as were fancy lansinoh ones!!

lisbethsopposite Tue 13-Nov-12 19:43:12



hufflepuffle Tue 13-Nov-12 19:44:54

Another Monster* Yomping! Def sure my little monster even heavier...... Arms are exhausted!! Going to BF drop in group tmrw, apparently they might weigh him for me! Was 10 8 last Weds.

lisbethsopposite Tue 13-Nov-12 19:47:26

beeble huffle thanks

crazypaving Tue 13-Nov-12 20:02:08

Evening all. Had a bit of a hectic day - have read through thread and sympathised with lots of things but it's all exited my brain immediately. Sigh. On the plus side, getting more smiles and funny little "ohh" noises from DS2 which are so unbelievably cute.

huffle shock that's quite a birth story. Not surprised it's taken you so long to process. Glad you feel like you're coming out the other side - well done you, seriously.

midget also envy of you at Skyfall! The only day they have baby cinema on round here is a day I have both DS's, booooo.

olivess your HV is a massive nobber. IME nearly all HVs are (apologies to anyone this offends in any way). I've never had any good advice from any of them, so I now avoid them like the plague.

squid both my boys have been car screamers. No lovely peaceful driving babies to sleep in this household. It sucks. Just concentrate on driving and try not to let it turn you into a nervous wreck - easier said than done. We taken Ewan the Sheep on car journeys which does help, but usually when DS2 falls asleep DS1 will scream or shout and wake him back up angry

bella hope tomorrow is better.

Have spent all day on my feet, either entertaining DS1 whilst slinging DS2, or bouncing DS2 to stop him waking DS1 during his nap. I now dread DS1's nap time, and it used to be the highlight of my day!

DS2 has fed almost hourly today - hoping this is the 6 week growth spurt (5+5, could be, right?) and that it is over soon if it is! Also wondering what tonight may bring....eeeek!! Have yet to successfully give DS2 a dummy - persevering intermittently...

DH currently trying to settle DS2. As soon as he's asleep we're hitting the hay!

hufflepuffle Tue 13-Nov-12 20:15:09

Oh and sorry Beeble to hear your story similar. Bloody sucks!!! Hope you recovering xx

Londonmrss Tue 13-Nov-12 20:22:04

beeble, I have a similar discomfort in where I was cathetised (is that the right verb?). I didn't have any stitches, but feel a bit sore- particularly when I have a poo- ie when I bear down. I think it's just an injury from pushing with a catheter. Mentioned it to my doc and as they found no trace of a uti, he thought the same and it would heal in time.
Sorry about my desperate midnight posting last night. I just feel so incredibly guilty that my baby's beautiful active time is spoiled by the fact that it's the middle of the night. I want to play with her and sing to her and do developmental stimulating things when she's calm and alert, but I don't want to give her the message that 3am is play time. I feel awful that when she's gorgeous and awake like that, I'm just thinking 'for fuck's sake, go to sleep', rather than appreciating and enjoying it.
We had a weigh in today at 18 days and she's 10oz over birth weight, so hard as this breastfeeding bollocks is, it seems to be working.

LoopyLa Tue 13-Nov-12 20:31:18

beeble hope you're ok & thanks for the google search smile

kyrria how was your trip into work?

AnneH656 Tue 13-Nov-12 23:03:12

Hi all

Can I join and be accepted into your fold?? just looking for some like minded support.

I was on Oct due date but disappeared after the birth. Rank experience all round and only just finished the six medications was prescribed post hospital discharge. Nice.

So ds is 3 weeks tomorrow. Bottle feeding due to stupid boobs. Actually stopped milk producing. Blame is placed on post birth stress and meds :-(

Dp works long hours with only Sundays off so alone a lot. Hes a driving instructor though so can pop home at least. Getting there though. First jaunt out alone with ds today. Morrisons successfully completed :-)

I miss sleep.beautiful sleep. And never believed I could 'forget to eat' but I do. Bloody odd.

Sending everyone here a hug. We'll get there. Where..i am not sure..but we have are cute bundles at least. Man he is cute..

AnneH656 Tue 13-Nov-12 23:12:21

huffle you are superwoman

AnneH656 Tue 13-Nov-12 23:19:38

Ps can relate to the 'hands'. For my labour the phrase 'i had more hands up me than The Muppets' springs to mind..

bella2012 Wed 14-Nov-12 01:13:47

feeling a bit desperate. will wont let me put him down, will not sleep and hasn't since about 3. He is feeding almost constantly as though he is completely starving and he keeps writhing about. When he comes off he really screams. Does this sound like a growth spurt? He is 2 weeks and 2 days. I have done something to my back through tension trying to feed him and I really can not keep doing this all night, it is so painful. Please help me someone

londonlivvy Wed 14-Nov-12 02:35:22

Oh Bella. My heart goes out to you. i hada tough day too with her not wanting to be put down but yours sounds worse. Is the squirming / writhing about wind? It can be for my LO. If fists clenched it means pain. Have you tried a dummy to extend the gaps between feeds ? Sometimes it extends it by 20 mins or so which can mean she has more time to digest the last feed. Or a sling?

Not sure if any of that helps but much hugs and I hope you find a solution. My arms are killing me after all this carrying.

Beeblebear Wed 14-Nov-12 05:25:34

Oh And who was it that asked about circumcision? Yes we had it done. Had a lovely dr too. Ds got lots of pain relief and they didnt strap hom down like some places do. Is all healed now 1 week later.

squidkid Wed 14-Nov-12 05:53:36

Jess took a while to put down last night but has been asleep from 11.00 to 5.30, so that's pretty good going! I woke up from dreams that I was back at work and everyone was laughing at me because I was leaking milk... my boobs were huge!

My sister in law still hasn't had her baby, thinking of her lots, she is 40+6 now. I was only overdue for 3 days and it was miserable. She had a tough labour with her first baby - 3 days of painful but irregular contractions, failure to progress, epidural, emergency section, then had to stay in hospital over a week because her and baby both caught an infection. They wouldn't let me on the ward because I wasn't a grandparent confused even though all four grandparents were out of the country angry. Her milk didn't come in for over a week and a nasty midwife made her feel shit about baby not putting on weight. She wasn't back to herself for months. A crap experience, so she is a bit nervous about this time. Going for a VBAC - I am hoping hoping hoping for a straightforward manageable labour for her. They won't induce her, so if she goes overdue it will be an elective section which she is really hoping to avoid. She went to 40+12 last time.

I am happily getting back into my fitness (running 3x week, just easy ones to start, it's lovely - I go at 7am while jess and boyfriend are snuggled up together) and eating super-healthy but don't appear to be shrinking to pre-preg size, boo. Probably will take months eh. My birthday is a month today, had hopes of wearing one of my cute dresses for it... we shall see... superficial stuff but still bothers me! Am hoping to be back to proper runs and proper workouts by the end of the year, and proper hikes when the weather gets better and Jess can go on my back. Again we shall see...

So have been spending my days entertaining/distracting my sister, cooking, shopping, baby massage, taking photos, doing some writing, reading, playing little singing games iwth Jess... it's nice. Some days I feel like a prisoner to the baby, other days I can't quite believe I can hang out with my kid and do whatever I want for a whole year...

Sometimes I feel like I am annoying everyone on the forum blathering about all the nice things I am trying to do when most of you are struggling with younger babies and the hardcore feeding/sleeping problems that I am beginning to emerge from... hope I'm not being too annoying... I mean to be encouraging... normal life will be possible again honestly! (well bits of it!)

bella2012 Wed 14-Nov-12 06:18:58

thank you so much livvy. I think you were right about wind-hearing his pain cry was just horrid. Well, thank God for that, we have made it through til morning-he is still feeding, but in a less intense and agonising way. Phew. Hope your night wasn't too bad ? Much love and thanks again for answering me.

squidkid Wed 14-Nov-12 06:21:28

Thanks for the thread yomping... we would be wandering aimlessly around cyberspace if not for you
I never woke jess when she slept lots! Oops, didn't know that one. Oh well, it didn't happen very often!
I think another room is fine. Boyfriend gets twitchy about it though. We dont' shut doors and live in a flat so would be able to hear everything, I guess if you're in a house you'd need a baby monitor? Though tbh it's not when she makes noises that worries me, it's when she doesn't!

huffle Actually I still am very glad I did the hypnobollocks... like you say, at least I didn't waste all my pregnancy being scared of labour... and I think maybe it contributed to me feeling very safe at home and not panicking (though I did have three midwives!) Can't say it did owt for pain relief though!!

Olives Your health visitor is misinformed about co-sleeping, there are safe ways to do it (some would argue safer than the alternative). And I don't quite understand why it's her business whether you let your baby cry or not, people have different ways of parenting and as long as you're not doing anything dangerous or abusive there's no point criticising people's parenting!! Sympathies, it is so easy to lose confidence even WITHOUT people having a go. Stressed, tired parents are not massively safe either so I'd stick to what works for you, if you're doing it safely.
I don't like criticising whole professions but I also have found healthy visitors a bit useless. The ones I have had seem scared of me because I'm a doctor, which is stupid, I have no expertise in this area and have always been happy to take advice. I am five foot three and smiley and not intimidating. There is one good one I have met, who is also a midwife - I don't think that is coincidental. What is their training anyway?
Have another appt today, ho hum. Maybe I'll just not stay in...

beeblebear yes dummy works well in the car but unfortunately cannot replace it when I am alone with her!! And it falls out all the time...

crazypaving def sounds like the growth spurt, mine came a few days early too... fingers crossed

londonmrss I really wouldn't beat yourself up about missing baby's alert time... these first weeks are hard enough! I don't think it's reasonable to expect brand new mums to be all singing and dancing to help baby development... Babies will develop fine as long as you don't put them in a drawer and ignore them all day (tempting sometimes)
Big congrats on your weigh in, brilliant achievement after all your hard work

bella big hugs - sounds so tough sweetie - sounds just like the growth spurts we've had, yes... it will end but it's so hard!! Can you feed lying down and just shut your eyes a bit (really hard when they're flailing I know) Thinking of you sad xxx

livvy very intrigued by the maternity nurse, is she coming every day or is it just a now-and-then arrangement? Sounds like she's given you some confidence (that was the thing I struggled with loads on my own) even if all the techniques aren't foolproof. I like the idea of taking note of the good stuff. I kind of try and use this thread for that myself (to keep a record) though of course I whinge too grin
I went to bed at 7pm last night so don't feel bad! All sleep is good at this point... helps it's the winter really

nice to see you angelico and yay for your postman's message of hope grin

yay for master midget's smiles smile
I want to go to the cinema too! The art cinema does showings on a monday, but it's the same time as baby massage... And baby yoga which I want to do one time.... grr!

Sorry for essay! xxx

hufflepuffle Wed 14-Nov-12 06:41:02

Bella u poor thing. Sounds indeed like growth spurt. Hope u coping, hugs to you xx

AnneH hello! More hands up me than the muppets....! Priceless! Tough birth by sounds of, hope u recovering x

Squid u must type so fast.....!

How are you doing Bella? That sounds like such hard work, especially with your other little one to take care of. We had a similar situation on Monday, I think. Seemed to be full of wind, constantly straining and really uncomfortable. Didn't want to lie down, didn't want to be held, all he could do was feed. Normally feeding sends him to sleep, but he was wide awake the whole time.
The only thing that helped was putting him down on his front. I know I shouldn't but he seemed much more comfortable, and even seemed to get some burps and farts out just by lying that way.
Anyway, it died down a bit by itself, still having the odd episode but not feeding continuously anymore, and going down for naps occasionally. So it will get better! thanks brew
I have also never had to wake DS for a feed, because he's never slept that long. V envy of those that do.

Welcome Twobuttons and Anne and anyone else that has joined while I wasn't looking.

Thanks for sharing your birth story Huffle, traumatic for you to say the least! You're so strong, you should be very proud of yourself. smile I can't believe the injuries you sustained, shock so glad to hear you're healing well from it.

Another one jealous of baby cinema Midget, they have nothing like that here and I really want to see Skyfall. Luckily it's not out til December in Japan, so hopefully I can express and we can get a babysitter.

Lisbeth no circumcision here. It's not usual in the UK, is it? Also not common here in Japan. I think it's pretty standard in the US though, is the same in Canada Beeble? I think Germany have banned it, which is a bit controversial as its mainly the Jewish community that do it.

We're rocking the white noise here, and it's doing my head in, but better than crying or perma-feeding baby. Was desparate to do a bit of vacuuming today but DS wouldn't settle so ended up doing it one handed with him in the other arm and he fell asleep. We have a Dyson and it's really loud! Anyway, he's now in his cot dreaming away to vacuum cleaner mixed with purring cat on full volume on my iPhone.

Quick question, what bouncy chairs, rockers/swingy things do you all have? What do you recommend? We haven't got one yet, but as his peak awake time is our dinner time we need something ASAP.

Oh, and who had the Moby wrap? Any tips? I can tie it no problem, but when I put him in it just doesn't seem right (or safe). Not sure which way he's supposed to be lying. Also, he hates it sad Really disappointed as I was looking forward to using it, and it'd make my life so much easier.

AnneH656 Wed 14-Nov-12 07:32:33

Hi cherry we have fisher price vibrating jungle chair. Its really comfy. Some seem not too close to the frame. Was only 35 quid. Oddly he will only sit in it in the mornings??

bella if it is windy - dd1 had terrible colic. Found hanging her tummy down on my arm like a monkey on a branch and rubbing her back softly helped. Sounds like growth spurty thing though. Ds has had a couple of massive feed nights already. Dummy has helped (when he wants to take the bloody thing)

bloody love white noise app. Just drying my hair in his room calms him. Recommend it. Baby calm and hair done in one! Waiting for Ewan the sheep to arrive..ordered yesterday :-)

Off to name register today. Still feel bit like innerds will fall out and sick of bleeding but excited about the jaunt!

londonlivvy Wed 14-Nov-12 07:42:07

Squid the maternity nurse isn't free at nights at the moment and only a few daytime slots, so it's a bit limited. I could try a post natal doula or an agency to find a night nurse but I'd been hopeful I could sort it out with some daytime help an advice. She's coming over for a couple of hours tomorrow.

Having said that i thought id cope with just ome tips, yesterday DD was grizzly, refusing to nap, needing to be held, etc, and then last night she woke at 10pm, 2am and 530 and wouldn't go back to sleep after 530 so am feeling frazzled. Supposed to be seeing NCT girls at lunchtime today but all I can dream about right now is going back to bed when she goes for her lunchtime nap. Today is another long day with DF out til 1030pm. Oof.

hufflepuffle Wed 14-Nov-12 07:44:10

Cherry would u believe I was coming on to wonder if u were alright cis your last posts involved stressed little dude! Was hoping u coping, obviously you are! Thanks for sympathy, is all in the past now!!

White noise app not working for me. However dS loves dishwasher, Hoover, haurdryer and extractor fan! Why do they like these noises????? We hav a Ziggy Zebra swinging chair thing (bought in desperation week 2 when only thing to settle him was swing in carseat!) which he growing to like. Plays nature sounds which are hideous!!! Like some deranged robot! But again, works!!

As for chair/ bouncer, pre baby we thought that we would get a non musical non vibrating chair as baby must learn to self sooth, right???? So got Chicco Mia. V v comfy looking, 5 positions. Can rock or bounce. He quite likes it, think will be v useful as he grows and can entertain self by bouncing or looking around, but perhaps at this early stage a vibrating one might hav done more?!

Interesting to see if anyone else has an action chair!

Right, 6.5 hrs sleep, fed and down again, I'm going back to bed! Fed on boob feels like been punched for hours, this better bloody clear up soon!!

Happy Wednesday all, DS 4 wks today! X

smileyhappymummy Wed 14-Nov-12 07:50:28

Hi everyone.
We had a lovely night too, 11.20 to 5am. My pyjama top was soaking by the time she woke up but getting a decent chunk of sleep was amazing. Beat the previous night when she woke at 2 and spent the next 3 hours feeding, possetting her feed back, feeding again, watching us change the sheets on the bed that were now soaked with baby sick etc etc.... She does seem to be a very sicky baby, wondering if it's worth getting her some infant gaviscon to try. Also getting periodically slightly paranoid that it means there's something really wrong with hereven though I KNOW this is stupid. The downside of being a doctor and knowing about all the rare stuff....
cherry our dyson is magic for stopping baby crying. Turn it on and the crying turns off. White noise apps, recordings of the Hoover help but decidedly inferior. Would love to know if it's brand specific, dyson could be missing a marketing trick!
huffle you did brilliantly. Remember to keep on taking care of yourself. Hope your dh is ok too, I think that time when they don't know what's happening snd imagine the worst is awful, (henyankee 5 year age gap between our 2!) and at least we are almost too caught up in it all going on to have that.
anne lovely to have you here and congratulations!
bella well done on getting through the night, it feels endless but everything does pass in the end.
Right going to stop here before computer eats my reply!

smileyhappymummy Wed 14-Nov-12 07:52:07

cherry we have a hugabub rather than a moby but think its basically the same... Try this link for how to tie it http://www.hugabub.com/flex/tying-the-hug-a-bub-wrap/89/1.

Smorgs Wed 14-Nov-12 09:08:27

Good grief. The screamathon lasted all day yesterday in addition to three previous nights. He actually went hoarse from it sad last night not too bad by comparison. Fed at 11, 2, 4 and 7 and doing another feed now at 10. Took a bit to settle after 2 but otherwise ok. Have decided structure is needed in the Smorgs household so going to try baby whisperer schedule today. Have in laws arriving tomorrow and really don't want them to have to endure a week of constant screaming. Know they'll understand though. Tried using baby Bjorn yesterday just so I could hang washing out but he hated it. Have bought Kari me on eBay so hoping that will be more if a success. Ditto with vacuuming cherry - I did it one handed the other day and he went straight off. No brand loyalty though, we have a Bosch. Squid don't stop telling us about what life might be like in a few weeks I find it really inspiring! Huffle your birth story is really amazing, you sound much better than I would be having gone through that. Here they offer 10 weeks of rééducation périnéale (basically fanjo physio) to everyone no matter what kind of labour you've had. I know someone who had a similar tear to yours who did these lessons and it has really helped her.

3 weeks today and 3.5kg so just over half a kg gained.

Thanks for the chair info everyone! I like the sound of the Fisher Price jungle one Anne, purely because it'll go nicely with the FP rainforest baby gym. Though if he'd go in the Moby, I wouldn't need one...Have you seen the Mamaroo, or whatever it is? It's like a spaceship I want one

Thanks for thinking of me Huffle, had a couple of bad days - just when I think I'm getting the hang of things, it all changes without explanation. confused And when I have no plans, everything goes like clockwork, but the minute I have to do something it all goes tits up!

Yes, real Dyson definitely works best Smiley.
Glad I don't have your medical knowledge, I have enough irrational worries already!

Had a bit of a meltdown when DH got home last night because evenings are the worst right now - continual feeding, grizzling and awake time just when I'm trying to get dinner ready, and am at the end of my daily energy. But then we had a good night (good for us being a 3 hr sleep followed by a 2 hr one grin) So All's right with the world again!

DS has a lovely new trick - when he gets gas mid feed, he scrunches up and writhes around whilst pulling his head right back with chin out (looks a bit like a turtle). He does all this with my nipple still clamped between his gums. Ouch! angry

Smorgs Wed 14-Nov-12 09:17:17

Crazy - hope your night was a bit better. Bella - sympathy on the griping pains. Pretty sure that's what the Orc Smorglet had its horrible to see them in so much pain. Have you tried moving their legs towards the chest and in anti clockwise rotation? Someone recommended that to me on Monday. Smiley - glad you sound better was a bit worried you're normally so upbeat. This is hard core and I don't even have a toddler to deal with too.

Smorglet currently feeding while gently kicking his little legs contentedly - unbelievably cute.

londonlivvy Wed 14-Nov-12 09:38:46

Oh smorgs you have my sympathies. Horribly grizzly child this week who will only sleep when full belly of milk. Much screaming this morning, which on top of my sleep deprivation made me go and lie on the bathroom floor and sob. I then took her for a walk to get her to sleep, hoping she wd stay asleep when we got home. No such luck. I just want to walk out of the house and leave the noise behind. Oh god this is hideous. We should have just got a dog.

lisbethsopposite Wed 14-Nov-12 09:56:54

Bella it does sound like a growth/feed spurt. Make sure you have lots of your areole(spell?) in his mouth - even if you have to try and stuff some more in while he is feeding IYKWIM.
Can you plonk yourself in front of TV and just go with it?

Smorgs Wed 14-Nov-12 10:23:05

livvy I know, the amount of walking we're doing just to get him settled will at least help shift the mummy tummy right? I was OK until yesterday when I had him most of the day by myself and the tiredness caught up with me in the afternoon. Still can't nap during the day really, but am getting in a couple of hours before midnight when DH takes him. I'm ok though, much better than the beginning. Don't have such a knot in my stomach all the time, although I do dread the evenings when he seems to constantly cry/grizzle. Cherry It always seems to be when your making/eating dinner doesn't it?!

I'm not entirely sure Smorglet doesn't have reflux. His 'sounds' have changed particularly after a feed and sometimes he vomits up to an hour afterwards. He's really difficult to burp but if I lay him straight down just after a feed he starts crying - wondering if it's the acid coming up? A friend's child had silent reflux and it was a nightmare to diagnose. I have to see a paediatrician every month anyway so will book the apt today and hope he has some miracle solution?!

Zaxter Wed 14-Nov-12 10:34:36

Hello there,

Are you ladies still accepting late entrants? My baby was due October 27th but didn't show up till last week (8th Nov). I followed your antenatal thread a bit right at the end of pregnancy (though was always too exhausted to post) and feel like you ladies have lots of good experience to share. Also being on the October babies thread feels like her rightful place even if she hung out comfortably until Nov (not so comfortably for me).

She is a whopper - 9lb13 and 59cm long so is already bigger than a couple of her month old friends! I ended up with a c-section on 40 +10 day I went in to be induced as they discovered that she was breech (thank god they did as she had been like it for months but not spotted by heaps of people and I was down for a home birth which would have been quite scary if she had come arse first in the living room). It's proving tricky having such a heavy baby post section...my back hurts.

I have had my mother-in-law over telling me that babyzaxter's wind is my fault for eating 'non bland' food. She could not believe that I would eat chilli and green vegetables! Anyone else get this advice?? It just does not make sense to me - all Indian babies would be screaming the house down if chilli = painful wind no?

springersmum Wed 14-Nov-12 11:12:15

Hi everyone - baby Springer is still a Velcro baby at 4 weeks, sharing the frustrations of other mummies with toddlers to care for!
Have discovered today that he WILL sleep in his bouncy chair on vibrate - yippee!! It's a fisher price dwell one we bought 3 yrs ago for DD.
A friend has recommended this white noise cd:
She thinks it was what made both her DDs settle in their Moses baskets (also good in the car squid )
Might buy a couple of the downloads for my iPod and see if it helps
Good luck everyone.....think we're going to get out and enjoy some autumn sun in the Kari-me...meant to help them sleep smile

AnneH656 Wed 14-Nov-12 11:47:03

Oo cherry that's the set I have I think. Have the play met too. Its Brill.

In other news my dried up milk boobs started lactating in the bath this morning. The human body makes no sense.....

Londonmrss Wed 14-Nov-12 11:56:04

Livvy, do you have any postnatal yoga exercises you would recommend? I just want to start getting my strength back (I'm 2 weeks pp). Was thinking of just some stretches. How do I gradually get the strength in my abs back? If I still have abs that is... I'm not quite ready for a crazy fitness routine like the amazing squid goes for!
I got about 4 hours sleep in 1 hour slots last night which actually doesn't seem too bad. Hubby's back at work today.
I've discovered something that makes my baby calm! 'Imagine' by John Lennon. Good taste, huh?
Welcome Zaxter!

crazypaving Wed 14-Nov-12 12:03:29

<cries with excitement> slept 10pm - 4.30am!!! Then awake for 90mins but hey, what a sleep!!! Massive boulders for boobs this morning.

welcome new people!

my jelly belly is seriously depressing me too. Any tips do pass on!

Oh Crazy that's great, I know how much you needed it. So envy though....

springersmum Wed 14-Nov-12 12:21:45

Welcome zaxter I asked one of the nct BF advisors about foods to avoid....she said to eat normally (inc spicy foods), no evidence that windy/spiced food upset babies tummies. The bland food thing is from the 70s.grin good luck with MIL, mine told me she left her children to CIO over night at 3 weeks and after that they slept through hmm

crazypaving Wed 14-Nov-12 13:23:25

Zaxter I've heard loads about the windy breastmilk debate. I honestly don't understand how eating broccoli can pass wind into a baby, seriously. What do all the mothers in India do when they breastfeed for God's sake? I have an aunt who insists I mustn't eat grapes because they "affected" her babies - honestly, I think when you're sleep deprived and dealing with a crying baby you go a bit nuts and attribute a particularly bad day/week to whatever you can. You could end up with an extremely limited and boring diet!

I may be wrong, of course, not being an expert in any way! But my (male) health visitor who came to do my home visit at week 2 said in a very blase way - of course, you're avoiding citrus and curry if you're breastfeeding. Surely he should've been telling me to avoid excessive alcohol and caffeine? Didn't even mention them! Men, pff hmm grin

hufflepuffle Wed 14-Nov-12 15:16:56

So breast feeding support group was not best idea....... Room with mostly 2nd time mums all with older babies confidently and discreetly feeding whilst having a chat. Not ideal when u got v sore red boobs and a still wriggly baby and not mastered art if being discreet yet. Left after half hour trying not to cry with a baby just on verge of sqwaking!!! They probably think im a bit odd..... Lovely ladies but not for me, just felt so uncomfortable!! So can you all continue to be my support group please?????

Conclusion is that I need to practice bra opening and top lifting at home and bubba needs to be calmer. And discomfort less today so must be mostly due to infection.

Thank you all so much for comments on my birth story, sorry not to reply individually. I don't think I'm that brave or strong. I'm a great believer in that whatever shit life throws at you, what can you do only cope?? And then whinge after!! Some peeps here had worse time than me and babies in SBCU was far worse than an injured mummy. All over now, will never hav to do again!! Big part of me is stupidly pleased as I hav proven myself to myself!! I did it! That prob sounds daft but am sure many of you feel a similar pride in your selves.

And sorry, don't hate me..... Been in pre preg clothes since day I got home. All just disappeared. Sorry...... confused

smileyhappymummy Wed 14-Nov-12 15:44:13

crazy I'm also a bit depressed by post baby tummy. Probably getting worse rather than better as I tend to eat junk food (I.e. lots of chocolate) when I'm tired - replace sleep with calories and I feel better in the short term but does lead to more wobbly bits. Oh well, will tackle that later....
huffle sorry bf group didn't go better....big hugs, glad its more comfortable today.
Hello zaxter nice to have you! I too think you should eat whatever you want when breastfeeding and really don't think it's going to make colic or whatever worse...
livvy hope you've had a better afternoon and it honestly does get better, just keep going a day, or even an hour at a time.
Went to baby clinic today, baby smiley still proceeding nicely along 25th centile, hv reckons copious and horrible possets plus unsettled baby probably means reflux worth treating so have phoned GP. I am feeling reassured by steady weight gain though so that's good. 4.26kg now froma birth weight of 3kg, not bad!

hufflepuffle Wed 14-Nov-12 16:15:00

On food question. MW advised me to avoid onions and garlic nd spicy stuff tho she did say same; what do babies in India do??

Hav been sticking to this. Day after we had pasta sauce, nappies mental and baby cross! Even few onions on a stew seemed to aggravate. Do I'm eating bland and boring but will be reintroducing gradually to see how goes. Figure it is difficult enough coping with this little bundle without risking making him angrier!!!! He is getting much better st bringing up wind so I figure his digestive system is improving anyhow!

squidkid Wed 14-Nov-12 16:21:37

To continue the health visitors are crap theme: mine made an appointment to see me at home and then failed to turn up. Thanks very much. After waiting 2 hours, I went out for a grumpy run. (My mum is still here waiting for my poor overdue sister to go into labour)

Speaking of which, having sad body image day today and convinced i will never get back to pre-preg shape (which wasn't spectacular anyway) and wondering what al this stupid fitness and healthy eating stuff is in aid of anyway,... Thanks for vote of confidence about fitness regime londonmrss but you'd be better off with a body like huffle's which just drops weight!! grin

hope days are gpoing ok for people... we are about to enter witching hour, uh oh.... I have just washed and massaged Jess in the vain hope it might help...

squidkid Wed 14-Nov-12 16:24:03

huffle A friend of mine claimed her baby was made worse with garlic. I think it's a load of rubbish personally. Babies in India's mums eat hot curry, they are weaned on curry... I eat very (VERY) spicy food often and don't notice any difference on those days...

Olivess Wed 14-Nov-12 17:53:07

Aaaghh MIL is driving me mad. She's just desperate to grab baby olives whenever she can and make stupid ridiculous noises in her face. Feeling very territorial and want her to stop grabbing my baby. DH not very sympathetic telling me that this will be her only chance to spend time with the baby when she's so little - fine and i'm letting her hold her lots but what about me, she's my baby and I am still bonding with her as well. She's had her children already this is my time. Just want her to leave us alone! Still got one more whole day with her. And also I am going insane with the tv she's watching. She put it on first thing this morning and has watched antique programmes all day and now we're on stupid quiz shows. I don't mind tv but I hate shitty daytime programmes, find them so depressing...

Well feeling under pressure we made an effort to put baby olives in her Moses basket and she did 2 hours and then 1 1/2 hours last night in it, thanks to a very calm and patient DH. We still had some cuddles in bed between 6am and 9am but it was nice to have a bit more space the rest of the night. Whilst I love her sleeping in bed with us I don't want to do it permanently so here's hoping at 4 weeks she's beginning to be ready to be put down now.

I haven't changed my diet at all and haven't noticed any problems with wind etc. in fact I'm cooking chilli later so prob will get a whole load of comments from MIL!

Hope everyone has had a lovely day.

crazypaving Wed 14-Nov-12 18:03:00

Had DH at home with me today helping, as childminder off for 3 weeks. Has been so lovely, but typically after 2 days of being awake constantly and shrieking lots, DS2 is having a really calm sleepy day and has been asleep pretty much all day.

Now some people would say that's cos I'm calmer cos I've got support, so DS2 is getting calm vibes off me and is sleeping, but I'd tell those people to fuck the fuck off to be perfectly honest. So don't risk my wrath and suggest it grin I'm just wondering what tonight will be like, as he slept brilliantly the 2 nights after the 2 grim days. We'll see, everything's so unpredictable this early on isn't it.

smileyhappymummy oohhhh yes to supplementing sleep with chocolate. I climb on the scales regularly, heave a sad sigh, and think of the kilos of chocolate I'm getting through...ah well. I dropped weight really quickly last time, which I expected to do again as I'm a milk-making-machine which is supposed to burn calories. Apparently not 2nd time round. My tummy actually scares me a little bit.

huffle sorry the breastfeeding support group was so crap. Not really supportive, is it? I wonder if you had a dud week? If they continue like that they'll scare all first-timers like you off, and it'll never grow. You need to rally support with more new first-timers and get going together. Those experienced mums were all in your shoes once too, and should've been nicer. Am cross on your behalf.

Gearing up for the evening grizzlathon. Surely after a day sleeping he's going to be awake for hooouuuuuurs.

londonlivvy Wed 14-Nov-12 18:16:36

Oof. After last nights sleep deprivation, lots of screaming from DD and me bawling my eyes out on the bathroom floor, my cleaner finally managed to soothe her with cuddle and she went to sleep. I got about 30 mins sleep but then lay awake worrying about how I'm to cope. Genius.

Anyway, then went for lunch with Nct girls which was lovely until DD woke up and howled and I ended up having to push the pram home and carry her as she was too distressed to even be in the pram. Sigh. I then cried at the health visitor for about two hours. She said I possibly have PND and I should get some help from family. I bloody can't. Grr. So that just made ne feel worse.

Anyway, then had a nice bath with DD and trying to feed her now so I can then sleep later. Thank god mat nurse is coming tomorrow though I may need more help next week. The nights are long!

I am reading everyone else. Sorry not to reply properly. Am rather short on mojo.

Angelico Wed 14-Nov-12 18:16:58

Hey peeps, usual wave and run sad About to make dinner just wanted to say hi. Another long sleep last night - but I actually woke bean to feed as boobs were ridiculous and am paranoid about ducts getting blocked again confused Squid sorry to hear about the car thing - ours is fine so far but we have a huge drive at Xmas and dreading that. All I can suggest is dummy / white noise - or the fab Ewan the Sheep which I love grin Also sorry to all with nobber scaremongering / non-showing-up HVs. Ours have been nice so far... Huffle sorry to hear the BFing group was crap - hoping to go to one tomorrow or next week but your description sounds like what I'm afraid of sad The one next week has buns which might be enough to lure me along... grin

Hope you're all doing okay. All great here bar the engorgement ON - keep hanging on oh peeps at 2-4 weeks, it will get easier (keep chanting like mantra). Like Squid am afraid of sounding too chirpy and making you weep - but don't worry we'll suffer first with the teething etc while you are enjoying happy chilled out beans... grin xo

londonlivvy Wed 14-Nov-12 19:12:45

Oh and londonmrss re yoga, its normally supposed to be after six weeks. But at the moment I would focus on walks and pelvic floor exercises at the moment. After that, stretching out shoulders (grasp hands behind back, look up, breathe deeply, stretch front of chest; grasp hands above head, stretch to one side etc). Also loosen up shoulders by placing hands on shoulders and doing circles with your elbows.

Other stuff hard to explain without demo. Hope that helps.

hufflepuffle Wed 14-Nov-12 19:28:03

Angelico if the group good might drive the 70 odd miles and join you!!!!!

Ps I am joking...... That sounds like stalker ish behaviour!!!!

WantAnOrange Wed 14-Nov-12 20:00:04

Just marking place. waves to everyone

I have two presentations and a seminar next week at college, DD is still a velcro baby and the house is a pig sty! I keep dropping off the end of this thread!

Huffle, don't apologise for dropping the weight, that's great! I have no belly, that went straight away and actual kilos nearly gone, but still can't do up any bottoms. confused tops ok though.
Didn't anyone at BF group offer you any advice?!

Livvy sending lots of mojo your way!

Would never suggest such a thing Crazy! wink

Squid, Angelico - like someone else said, your positive stories give us hope for the future, please don't stop.

It's 5:20am here. Today was all back to front and upside down so no big sleeps for me tonight. But all relatively calm.

crazypaving Wed 14-Nov-12 20:27:24

Oh livvy poor, poor you. You sound just like I did with DS1. I just want to give you a huge hug and tell you it will get better, it will , and one day you will discover you are even enjoying it. It's so hard to imagine now, and I remember the feeling of my life crashing down round my ears and utter hopelessness. Your life is not going to be like this forever. I promise.

Being tired makes everything worse. So the way the world looks now isn't a true representation. And it's so hard to cope with the cause of your exhaustion when it's screaming at you constantly. I remember it so vividly and my heart really goes out to you. Keep using the maternity nurse as much as you possibly can. Any friends you have, any at all. Please don't be afraid to put yourself out there and get help Honestly it doesn't have to be so awful.

Maybe consider going to your GP and being honest about how things are at the moment. It sounds to me that maybe you do have PND now, maybe you don't, but you're on the verge, iykwim. If you get a moment, take this online test and see what it looks like. It's obviously no formal diagnosis but I think it's a good indicator.

But really truly and honestly you will enjoy your baby and your life one day. I thought my life was over as I knew it, and I would never find myself again and life was just going to be awful. It's not. My DS1 is the light of my life, and (until DS2 was born!!) I had time to myself, got enough sleep, had so much fun with DS1, went out on nights out with DH - life was life again.

This newborn phase is over reasonably quickly, in the grand scheme of things, but if you have PND and it goes untreated, your feelings could last longer than they need to. I suffered for over a year because I didn't get help - don't do what I did!! It's very treatable.

Sorry to rant. Hope it's helpful in any way. And a big big big hug for you.

crazypaving Wed 14-Nov-12 20:28:59

livvy also thank you for the stretch recommendations - just did the hands behind back, look up to the sky malarky and it felt reeeaaaally good (if slightly straining at the bra...)

crazypaving Wed 14-Nov-12 20:35:32

multi-post alert, sorry!: livvy my DS1 was always the one needing to be bounced madly or taken home when meeting up for coffee/lunch with NCT friends. I hated it, he was always screaming and I used to end up going home in tears, often carrying him whilst pushing the buggy just like you. They used to sit with their babies peacefully sleeping or sitting cooing on their laps bitches angry Now he's one of the best "behaved" (if there is such a thing!) toddlers in our group and is a delight to be around. So it's swings and roundabouts.

smileyhappymummy Wed 14-Nov-12 21:27:02

I think we may have embarked on the 6 week growth spurt. Today she has fed, cried and slept a bit. None of this nice calm alert time. Oh no. Has been glued to my boob since 5.30 now. Not sure I'm looking forward to tonight.

Beeblebear Wed 14-Nov-12 23:53:54

I ate in a restaurant today for lunch with Ds. I felt part of the human world again. Maybe next week I will think about mom and baby cinema next week

OctoberOctober Thu 15-Nov-12 03:26:10

livvy glad you have the mat nurse tomorrow, maybe try and get some sleep whilst she is there? I feel for you with the nct group, I had a similar thing last week where all other babies angelicly sleeping whilst DS howling, and I mean howling. confused Bit concerned that now I've stopped bf I eon't have an easy way to placate him when out and about. May resort to taking out dummies, even if I was staunchly against beforehand. hmm

Agree with crazy that it is worth seeking help where you can, which you're already doing with mat nurse, but also get friends to help out if poss, even if just popping round for an hr, will make you feel more sane to have company and break up the day.

squid, in awe of your physical activity, definitely something to aspire to! I went for a longish walk today for first time in months and actually felt great for it. So glad to have lost the pregnancy breathlessness!

Also, DS seems constipated, hasn't done a poo in 2 days which can't be healthy or comfortable. All advice online seems to relate to bf babies saying it is fine for them and that ff babies more likely to be constipated. Fine, but how long is ok, what should I do about it? Have tried tentative massage but don't think I was doing effectively. May call HV. Tomorrow to check if normal although my experience to date hasn't been great with them. hmm

Have switched formula brands to see if that makes any impact.

Anyone else ff had similar?

Smorgs Thu 15-Nov-12 07:45:01

Hmm ok so Smorglet appears to have read the baby whisperer. As of midnight yesterday he's fed every three hours on the dot. The activity/naps aren't quite there yet - didn't sleep at all in the morning had about half an hour over lunch so I went out for a very long walk all afternoon to get him to nod off so he didn't get overtired, stopping once to feed him on a bench. Then home, bath time, cluster feeds (ok he didn't manage the ambitious half hour nap between cluster feeds but hey) and I even managed to eat dinner uninterrupted. He was a little bit hard to settle a couple of times overnight but otherwise I don't call that too bad. Still flipping exhausted though.

Interesting to read all your thoughts on the 'bland food if breast feeding' debate. Being out here means I pick up far less advice on things like that from friends/family/nct so when a midwife tells me something I tend to believe her. Should have known better since she looked sceptical at my using infacol and gave me some herbal tincture based on caraway and wheat germ to use?!

Smorgs Thu 15-Nov-12 07:49:02

Oh and our little art house cinema does mum and baby screenings. I looked through the schedule - no Skyfall but lots of documentaries on climate change, gm food and general 'the end is nigh' stuff. Like that's what you want to sit through when you've just brought a new life into the world confused No, I want Daniel Craig in pants please.

YompingJo Thu 15-Nov-12 09:33:38

Seconding the request for Daniel Craig in pants!

bella2012 Thu 15-Nov-12 10:19:26

hi all,

thank you thank you so much to everyone who offered dympathy and support during my meltdown the other night. You all understand more than anyone in RL. Thank God for my Mum who came down yesterday and sent me to bed for an hour. I felt so ill yesterday, sick and fluey but am much better today after a better night so think it must have just been exhaustion. Isn't it weird what lack of sleep does to you? It distorts everything so you just feel like despairing at everything. Am so relieved that the fog has lifted a bit and am so grateful for everyone who replied to me.

livvy my heart goes out to you and to you too crazy on what you went through with your ds1. I think vrazy has offered some great advice there livvy, seeing your GP sounds like a good idea. I am so sorry you don't have more family nearby, that must be so hard. And I am in the same boat with a dh who works 3 evenings a week, which I find really waring so I totally sympathise and second crazy's suggestion that you try hard to keep seeing friends and groups where you can. I know that you have moved recently so don't have good friends nearby, but do persevere with baby groups and things, they aren't all as bad as poor huffle's bf group. (sorry that was crap huffle that is bad lucck xx) i loved baby massage firstly because the class was great but also because I really liked the other Mums there. Some groups I felt like evenryone knew each other and it was hard to fit in, so just keep trying things out.

squid and angelico donlt stop posting! Reminders that life will improve are the best thing right now!

midget you are such an inspiration. I wish I was coping as well as you with 2! Love it that you have been to the cinema-awesome. Although even daniel craig in pants does not stir me right now-HV etc keep bombarding me with info about contraception and I keep thinking how far from my mind that is right now!!

smileyhappymummy Thu 15-Nov-12 11:25:05

So excited. Baby smiley has just napped for 2.5 hours in her carrycot! before, she has only really napped on me or in her sling so this is a big deal! The miracle was achieved with the help of the Dyson - got her off to sleep and then turned it on again a few times when she looked like she was stirring.
I can recommend hoovers!

AnneH656 Thu 15-Nov-12 11:33:00

smorgs you're brilliant. Climate change docs. Basterds.

Good work beeble! I did morrisons on my own Monday. Ds not quite 3 weeks at time. Close ended in disaster due to lack on £1 for trolley but got through it. Amazing how stuff you wouldn't have batted an eyelid at pre newbie now can destroy your confidence and sanity..

Hope you're feeling better bella. Its total wank being I'll with newborn. Current paranoia of mine is sneezing has buggered lady garden healing. Mw tomorrow.......

AnneH656 Thu 15-Nov-12 11:36:04

Whoop 'smiley' that is fantastic :-) !! Hope you got sleeps and/or cuppa. Bugger housework.

I have just over blowdried my hair. Worth it for as asleep in the Moses basket.. Now waiting for amazon Ewan the sheep delivery due today!

smileyhappymummy Thu 15-Nov-12 11:45:35

I had several hot cups of tea. And a piece of cake, and read my book, and baked biscuits. Ewan rocks but is a bit quiet for baby smiley. Better for maintaining Dyson-induced sleep than getting her to sleep in the first place.

AnneH656 Thu 15-Nov-12 11:54:04

That is brilliant.....i say as sit to drink cold blinking coffee....

Good to note re Ewan. Have feeling will be the same :/

LoopyLa Thu 15-Nov-12 16:18:37

I'm having just a fucking awful day...again in fact as yesterday wasn't too spectacular either sad

Baby Loopy has been unsettled all day & although DH is working from home & I wanted to do everything myself to prove (to myself) that I could look after him without help, it failed spectacularly. I haven't been out for days & when I thought I should take the baby out for a walk, he completely cracked up & screamed the house down - which upset DH & me too sad So ended up staying in...again

I'm also beginning to get really fucked off frustrated that I can't do anything without it taking major planning - a shower, the washing up, sterilising the bloody bottles for the billionth time angry I need 10 minutes to myself.

I may have PND or I might just be really knackered - but how can I rest when the baby rests if the baby doesn't want to bloody rest?!?

On top of all of this, I'm dreading my mum coming visiting next week, no doubt ready to criticise everything I'm doing & seeing how badly I'm "coping".

Bollucks, I want my old life and even just to write that down makes me feel ashamed of myself & tears are pouring down my face sad sad

Sorry for the me post, I just needed to get it out somewhere.

cheesymonster Thu 15-Nov-12 16:42:30

Loopy I could've written your post - unable to settle DD and don't know why, not getting showered or eating until afternoon, being cooped up indoors. DD1 is 4 weeks old and I have felt just like you. It will get better for us when we find our routine I promise. Just wanted to send you a hug.

crazypaving Thu 15-Nov-12 17:25:57

Loopy I think it's normal to want your old life back - it's a huge upheaval and change, and for a while everything is unrecognisable. You'll get into a pattern soon, but it takes a while to come to terms with the change and I think in a way to grieve for your old life and the freedom you had. This is the worst part - you'll get there. Poor you though, see if you can get a minute to yourself while DH looks after your baby. Big hug xx

Katla Thu 15-Nov-12 17:36:23

Found you all again - Yomping love the thread title - how fast it moves... Welcome to the new people and hugs to Bella and Livvy who sound like you are having a tough time - I can say things improve/change all the time (Erin is 5 weeks old tomorrow and there is light emerging) - although each day is different but repeat 'this too will pass...'

Huffle wow, I thought my birth story was quite bad (must post it sometime) but yours sounds even worse. I can second the feeling of being 'let down' by your body - mine didn't dilate fast enough and I had to get a hormone drip, epidural and ended up with forceps (narrowly missing getting a CS). Also I ended up in the tena lady as well blush - quite a surprise having no control over peeing at all - although much improved now (thank God).

Squid very impressed at your exercise routine and good to hear your positive stories. I agree with 'hypnobollocks' grin but it was good to at least make me feel that I could cope with labour, even be looking forward to it, as it neared - it was bloody useless during it, but then you are just concentrating on dealing with what's happening at the time.

Smorgs my DH takes Erin for a couple hours before midnight - that is a lifesaver to surviving the night and Erin is definitely worse at grizzling/crying in the evening. I take it as a trade off for being good at night though so am thankful that it's DH's shift too!

Wantan presentations and college - impressed that you can manage anything like that - I can barely cope with keeping a track of the shopping list and remembering to take it with me when I go... smile

Loopy hugs, I know what you mean that you feel that you can't get anything done - even easy things like getting dressed or making dinner is so hard when they won't stop crying or sit in the bouncy chair. I hope you find that your mum's visit gives you a break if she takes the baby for a while so you can have some you time. My mum came and entertained Erin this afternoon so I could blow dry my hair so feeling much more human now - otherwise dry shampoo is a god send.

I've had a mixed few weeks - made it to see Daniel Craig in Skyfall with DH - there was about 50 babies there, which would have been my idea of hell in a previous life - but I was so happy to be there although some of the dialogue was obscured by bawling (not Erin though who slept, fed once and slept through the whole thing, even the gunshots...) How can that be when she is roused by such tiny sounds when napping in the house?? Not fair.

She has gradually been sleeping longer stints at night - we were up to feeding at midnight, 3:30am then 7:30am for two nights (I thought 'I've cracked it!!) but last night she was up wanting fed every two hours. However, I think I'm really lucky because she settles very easy in the moses basket - I just feed her and chuck her in it and she either sleeps right away or grumps/squeaks and kicks for ten minutes or so and then sleeps. She doesn't cry at all at night and even drops off if I change her nappy. She's not so good during the day and I struggle to get her to nap in her pram and she cries a lot more to be held but I'm not going to complain about that. Hopefully she's just having a growing spell now (5 weeks on Friday).

BF is going well - clearly nipples are just conditioned now as she can chomp on them without pain any longer and I've fed a couple of times in public places but don't feel that confident about that bit yet. She's also speeded up that she can drain a boob in ten minutes - although my right one does comical 'sprinkler' effect spraying everywhere blush

I wanted to ask - are you putting your baby to bed at a particular time? I just take Erin when I go - so anytime between 9pm and midnight - depending on how I feel/ what's on the telly. When do they start being put to bed at a particular time?

Best go now - Erin is wriggling and making noisy stretching noises beside me so it'll not be long until she's demanding food...

meepsmum Thu 15-Nov-12 18:17:44

Hi. Im new here...all your posts have kept me sane during night feeds...Meep is almost 5 weeks now and thankgod ur all going thru the same things i am. This is most amazing thing as well as being the hardest and most horrifying!!!
What i cant get my head round is how i will ever get anything other than feeding and changing done. I dont cook anymore...cup a soup for lunch was a challenge today... Thankfully my mum comes on mon and tues. I eat properly then!!! Im lucky she is close.
Sleeping is up and down. Last night fed at midnight, 3 and then meep ended up in our bed as just doesnt settle in moses...and feed hourly til morning. Feel guilty and wortied about cosleeping but only way to stay sane. Also give him dummy now...again guilt guilt and more guilt!!!
Also i feed him pretty much hourly from about 6 pm....will it ever stopt???? Still he is healthy baby and has put on almost 3 pounds since birth... I should be proud of my boobies but just cant imagine havibg a life ever again.
Dont even start on my terror of going out and him screaming whole time. It terrifiesme.
Sorry about me me me post. Thank u all for sharing ur experiences. Got to go... Meep grizzling as left him in moses sleepingor 10 mins whilst i do this..
God i love him though. X

hufflepuffle Thu 15-Nov-12 19:40:17

Is there something in air again?? God, I am having shite day too after shite night. Nips still feckin agony. Now hav rash on boobs, tummy and legs, itching like hell. Back finally protesting at weight of this little man and he has been cross as a weasel and refusing to sleep
Most of day!!!!!

Aargh!!! Will stop before I rant on. Think we are many on same wavelength. Everyone I meet says to treasure these early weeks, they go so quick. I wish they would bloody hurry up and that my bloody body would get used to everything it having to cope with. Oh and not panicking about rash as hav GP apt tmrw to check all sorts. Assuming is a reaction to some medication or just plain stress. If is more complicated it may just push me too far.

Selfish post blush Hugs to all xx

hufflepuffle Thu 15-Nov-12 19:43:25

Ps Katla so jealous that your LO settles self in basket........! I am pleased that BF sends mine to sleep and sometimes rocking and shhhing will do it. But if I set down even vaguely awake we hav screaming match!!! Wondering how the heck we ever change that but not going to try until we all feel more sane!! Lucky you!! X

squidkid Thu 15-Nov-12 19:55:25

Had a lovely day, when I was working hellish 90 hour shifts last year I always thought maternity leave sounded blissful, and it's suddenly becoming so, now the feeding / sleeping has settled down a bit. Jess needs feeds every 2-3 hours through the night but boyfriend does the last one of the day with a bottle of expressed milk (if I get round to expressing that day) and she is usually settled through the night so that's fine - better sleep that I've been getting previously really. Her most fret-y time is 7-9pm, and that's when boyfriend takes her... blush

So yeah, this morning I was like, huh, I can do anything I like as long as I take a baby with me - last year I would have killed for this extended free time. I drove out to the Peaks singing loudly to her and went for an autumnal hike, few hours through a forest with views over the reservoir. When I walk, Jess just sleeps - for hours. Every single person in the world seems to smile at a girl with a baby walking through a forest.

Came home, fed changed ate etc, watched cheesey film on the sofa with cups of tea, jess wide awake and doing hilarious expressions and smiling at me lots, boyfriend came home from work, made pasta, giggled over a glass of wine taking it in shifts to hold the baby.

I could get used to this.

She's 6 and a half weeks... three weeks ago I thought my life was OVER and cried all day every day. It will get better, guys.

squidkid Thu 15-Nov-12 20:07:37

loopy this bit is SO HARD, i felt exactly like you did, a prisoner to the baby, wanting my old life back.... and after puttin g up with pregnancy and all its restrictions for months on end as well, it's like, what the fuck have i done!!!

but i just found baby squid started smiling, and i am beginning to master the new skills needed, and everything just seems easier now. i still have down times, but i also spend hours of the day enjoying her in a way i just couldn't at 3 weeks when everything was so damn hard!!!

i hope you feel better once you manage to get out, i found that massively helped. Baby squid was a bit tricky and cried a lot in the pushchair, but she sleeps almost every time in the sling.

crazypaving Thu 15-Nov-12 20:37:27

Hi meepsmum and welcome!

bella2012 Thu 15-Nov-12 20:40:39

thank you so much squid you have made my night x

Zaxter Thu 15-Nov-12 20:55:15

Wow, so much on here since yesterday, when does everyone get the time to post? Thanks so much for the comments re food and breastfeeding, and great to read that MILs seem to rub us up the wrong way as a matter of course. I am starting to get used to the contradicting advice at every turn now - midwifes at the hospital said completely contrasting things and then Pakistani lady in the chemist today said that in Pakistan new mothers should eat 'light' while offering me a chocolate biscuit (she insisted they were 'light' ones??)!

Londonlivvy, what you are going through sounds really tough. Not been on here long so don't feel like I know you but agree with everything everyone has said. The only thing in this life we can be certain of is change. It will change. Try and hunt about each day for any little thing that is better than the day before - it might be something ridiculous like your breakfast tasting nicer - whatever, in 24 hours there has to has to has to be at least one tiny little thing...somewhere.

I am a bit scared thinking things are going to get worse (6 days in not toooo bad) but hey, I will try and focus on conserving energy for when that time comes. I am relieved to read that lots of you have screamers/won't settle in the evening. The days have been ok, sleeping, waking, feeding, being happy but alert. But the evenings are a cycle of little sleep, scream, head bang my boobs rather than drink (anyone else's do that??), scream - fart etc.

I thought I had perfected the balancing of computer alongside babyzaxter but it is now being booted out of way as she stirs again ready for the next screaming fiesta I think.......

Katla Thu 15-Nov-12 20:58:50

Huffle thanks, it is just luck I think rather than my baby wrangling skill and new in the past week only, I discovered it by laziness when I was knackered and laid her on the basket planning just to leave her to grizzle for a bit at 4am as I couldn't be bothered more rocking and walking the room to get her to sleep - and she dropped off within a few mins of me putting light out. It only works if I switch off all lights - that seems to give her the message that it's night because it doesn't work in the day.

I'm so excited - my sling has been delivered today smile. I joked to DH that I could take Erin in it when I was riding my (poor neglected) horse - I think for a second he thought I was serious... grin

meepsmum Thu 15-Nov-12 22:40:57

Thank u squid.. U give us all hope as the night shift starts and yes. The headbutting of boobies and excited head shaking around nipple begins!
Totally dont want to wish this time away but it is blinking hard sometimes.
Had nice bath with meep this eve with dh helping. Was nice distraction from boobies.
Having issues with nappies leaking. Using washables- totsbots but finding they leak unless use a booster...need to buy more as sick of changing vests and clothes with nappy every 2 hours! Hoping spending money on washables wasnt a mistake....
Miraculously managed to peel.potatoes whilst rocking meep in bouncer. This is big achievement.
Also whats everyone doing when filling up with petrol...i took meep into shop from car...is it safe to leave j car when asleep?? Locked and in view obv... Argh so many things id nevef considrred before.
Good luck everyone with night shift. So glad ur here. Felt for weeks i was only crap mother in world whos baby was obsessed with feeding all night. Why does noone tell u this is to be expected when bf and completely normal? I thought i was just abnormal!! Xx

bella2012 Thu 15-Nov-12 22:53:45

i wish I could take my boobs off and leave them in his moses basket so that he could just help himself.

lisbethsopposite Thu 15-Nov-12 23:03:58

Llivvy bella it sounds like you need sleep. I really feel your suffering and i hope some of the advice on here helps.
Bella i think your pics on fb are fabulous. DS1 looks great , lovely rosy cheeks. You are doing something right.

Also 7 weeks here and while not as zen like as squid i am getting a few hours sleep every night. Poor huffle. Bummer re thrush. Night all

Angelico Thu 15-Nov-12 23:24:28

Evening peeps smile Lovely, lovely day today (apart from ANOTHER blocked duct which thankfully cleared by lunchtime) and bean was angelic during our various adventures (alert, grinning, cooing, generally charming everyone around her) - but totally overtired tonight. Have just swaddled her for first time in weeks as her arms were doing the mad windmill thing waking herself up. Praying it will help as it's only 11.15 but feels like the middle of the night - think we both overdid it today! confused

huffle went to breastfeeding thing today and it was nice, everyone friendly and normal but helped that there were other first time mums. If you come up this direction I reckon we should just skip the bfing stuff and go straight to the ice cream shop... wink

Hugs to Bella, Livvy and anyone else shattered - am really tired tonight so feeling your pain... Love to all, here's to sleepy beans all round! xo

Angelico Thu 15-Nov-12 23:29:06

And huffle sorry you had such a crap day - just saw the bit about the rash, ouch! sad Sod the first few weeks, it's pure survival (although can understand how people feel nostalgic afterwards, some v tiny babies at bfing thing this morning and they looked so small).

YompingJo Fri 16-Nov-12 00:44:11

Think I have thrush. Left boob unbelievably sore and have had no signs of blocked ducts and it doesn't ease after feeding. Has come on quite quickly over last day or so after a few stabbing burning type pains which I stupidly ignored. Hurts to even walk, have to hold to stop painful bouncing. Feeding very painful. Have been feeling rough all day, cold and achey everywhere. Phoning docs in morning for emergency appointment. Feeling really, really miserable and sorry for myself, This isn't fair after crappy labour, hard recovery and bean with colic sad

londonlivvy Fri 16-Nov-12 02:42:11

Thanks everyone. After blubbing on the health visitor on weds I was called by GP yesterday and am going in for an appointment tomorrow. Actually had quite a good day yesterday, with the awesome mat nurse. There was a screamathon and she showed me how to settle her ( it was due to evil wind) which was brill. This mat nurse isn't around next week which is a real shame as she is calm and so knowledegable but she has recommended a friend and some agencies, so I need to do a ring around tomorrow.

Top tip of the day is that little babies have poor circulation and sleep better when wearing socks under their baby gro. It has made a huge difference already. Much less disturbed sleep for her which disturbs me less and means she's more rested and feeds better.

Best news of the day is that my best friend just had her baby 5 weeks early but still 5lb15. Such a long awaited and long desired baby and I'm delighted for them.

Too hard to reply to everyone with one finger typing but special hugs to yomping and Bella and huffle in tough times and thanks to crazy re PND stuff.

My psrents are visiting tomorrow for the first time. An odd mix of feelings.i will no doubt be questioned heavily as they want to see I'm ok. And I'm not, really. But I am trying to get help. And it is nearly the weekend. Yay for that.

bella2012 Fri 16-Nov-12 04:12:12

just written mammoth post and lost it! Grr! Ah man, it was so long! Will try again soon. Really wanted to thank everyone for sjpport, esp anne, katla and lisbeth xx

Beeblebear Fri 16-Nov-12 04:44:41

Good evening everyone.

Doing treatment for thrush now. Medicine for ds is so sticky and yellow and smells like bananas. Seems to make Ds tummy unhappy for an hour or so after. Day 2 of treatment for me, will update soon as to ifit helps my itchy burny tingly nipples or not.

Busy day today. First "play date" today. Friends son is 8 Weeks. Either my Ds was sleeping while hers was awake our vice versa. Lol. Oh well. Then visited my mom at her office and then to my parents for dinner. My grandma was visiting so i had to drive her home after. Parents live over an hour away so i left at 1030 this morning and didn't get home until 9. Sure throws off the demand feeding. Find i feed for much shorter bursts when trying to get in visits. My boobs are feeling it for sure.

Very interesting about the socks Livvy, thanks. None of the Japanese baby clothes seem to have feet in them and whoever designed baby socks obviously never looked at baby feet, but DB and his partner sent us some Sock-ons, so DS finally has warm feet! Maybe we'll get more sleep...
It's great you can say you're not really ok, and getting help is the only thing you can do. You're doing brilliantly, your parents should be proud! smile
Congrats to your friend.

Katla, very envy of your horse. I love horse riding and used to go loads in the UK, but it's not a big thing in Japan so I haven't been for ages. sad

Loopy, thinking of you. I haven't been out for a couple of days either because I just can't be bothered with the hassle. Could you ignore the screaming for a bit, and continue with the walk? DS falls asleep as soon as we get going in the pram, maybe yours would too? I'm currently on the sofa, feeding DS, who keeps falling asleep but won't let go, whilst starving for my lunch. hmm

Welcome Meepsmum!

Hope you get your rash sorted at the docs today Huffle. thanks

Yomping, that sounds so painful, and like you say, not what you need on top of everything else.sad I hope the doc can sort you out ASAP too.

Congrats on the hot tea Smiley, grin I've been using a travel mug which is great for hot tea, but then I keep forgetting to put the cosy on the teapot so it's cold before it even gets in the mug. confused Baby brain.

Not much news here, things go up and down but I feel like I'm a bit more equipped to cope lately, and everyday DS seems stronger and more alert, so gradually getting more rewarding.
He still doesn't fit into his 0-3mnth stuff, I'm getting really bored of the 4 outfits he can actually wear. The other day I had a dream that he got his foot caught in the neck of his sleep suit because it was too big, and was strangling himself - horrible! and very unlikely
The white noise is still working wonders, but I wish they made little baby earphones!

Right, off to try put this little bundle of joy down so I can finally EAT!
Hope you are all having good nights and getting some much-deserved rest.

Hi Beeble!
When we're out and about I also feel like we feed for a shorter time, and DS is a bit distracted/stressed so doesn't concentrate properly. They'll get used to it, I guess. Sounds like you had a good day though.

Twobuttonsaway Fri 16-Nov-12 05:26:52

Hey all, just a quick note to send hot chocolates and millionaires shortbread to everyone who is having a difficult time this week or is sleep deprived.... Possibly us all!??

Repeat after me... It will get easier smile.

Taking one day at a time helps me. Love to all and the beautiful babes.

londonlivvy Fri 16-Nov-12 05:59:40

OMG. Tonight, with the assistance of socks, DD has fed at 1830, 2145, 210 and 0550. This is incredible. Normally it is more like 1830, 2200, 0030, 0330, 0500. Proper starving feeding at ea ch feed rather than lots of sleepiness and falling asleep mid feed. Wow.i went to bed at2015, so in total I have had 6.5 hours. I love the maternity nurse. Even if this is a one off, and obv I hope it isn't, it is very very welcome.

hufflepuffle Fri 16-Nov-12 06:10:13

Yay Livvy!!!!!! You will feel so much better after that. Here's hoping u turning corne. Glad u starting to get help too, I see light at end of your tunnel! Hugs x

Yomping ouch...,.. Could Be mastitis too? GP will sort you whatever it is, fingers crossed relief is quick. I've had 6 days treatment, still feels rotten but think rash is aggravating. My apt not til 4.30, wishing hours away and wishing to take some bloody antihistamine but not risking drug interactions! Calamine it is.

Sorry, thought lots to reply to and thanks for support RE group and my latest discomforts .,,,,,! But I'm nodding off here. Another 6 hr sleep. Good good good boy for mummy!

Smorgs Fri 16-Nov-12 06:10:16

Bella - have been meaning to reply to you but just couldnt put bubs down for long enough, then in laws arrived. I wish I could give you a big hug. This is so hard. I just keep telling myself its a blip in the grand scheme of things and try to picture what it will be like in the future when he can smile, talk, hold my hand, run about, ride a bike etc. I've also found trying to laugh or joke about things helps but that's not easy when the screaming has gone on for hours. Keep talking about how you're feeling and don't be afraid of getting help.

Huffle - sorry you've been having a crap time too thanks

Livvy - the maternity nurse sounds great, interesting tip about socks ill try that. I hope things go ok at the gp today and you get some talc from your folks. Try and let them do as much as possible even if its just holding the baby so you don't have to.

Yomping - that would suck if it was thrush brew thanks for the new thread by the way.

Welcome to the new folk - sorry not to name check everyone.

Well we didn't quite stick to the bw's easy routine yesterday as in laws arrived and dh turned into his bossy teenage self But after an evening meltdown I resorted to infacol again and he slept from 11-3.40! Another feed at 6.30 just now too. I bloody love infacol.

Smorgs Fri 16-Nov-12 06:12:31

Bah! I hope you get some TLC from your folks livvy not talc. Although talc is a lovely gift too confused sorry!

Smorgs Fri 16-Nov-12 06:15:24

Cross posted - yay for sleepy babies livvy and huffle!

cheesymonster Fri 16-Nov-12 06:35:20

Meepsmum I was going to ask about getting petrol too! I am planning on using the "pay at pump" option at tesco. Baby cheesy has great timing so will wake up and scream blue murder if I leave her and run into the shop. Although this weekend I only have cash so will wait for DH to come with me <coward>.

So much to think about logistically !

cheesymonster Fri 16-Nov-12 06:42:55

livvy do you mind if I ask for your mat nurse's winding technique please? Sometimes I can't settle DD after a feed (she's ff) and I'm worried I'm not winding her enough. Sometimes she lets out deafening burps but other times she wriggles when I'm trying to wind her and it's quite stressful!

Awesome sleep Livvy! I know it's not a fix-all, but it's bound to help.

Quick question - what do you all think about hoods on baby clothes? I've avoided them so far because I just can't figure out where they go/what the purpose is, but I've just been given a really cute romper, that might fit him now, and it has a hood. Are they even safe?

londonlivvy Fri 16-Nov-12 08:47:57

Oof. An hour of winding and soothing and then gave up and resorted to the sling so I could have some breakfast and do some jobs. Worked a treat though I haven't mastered the tightness and she was definitely lower than she should have been.

Re winding

Either on your shoulder with baby arms over the shoulder and stroke upwards, esp on left hand side under ribs.

Or tiger grip. Right hand between baby legs from underneath and your hand on baby tum. You can feel the wind. Left hand supporting. Then step slowly forwards and back with a slight bob in your step. Slowly does it. Too vigorous will just overstimulate.

Hope that helps.

Cherry I'd have thought hoods must be safe or they wouldn't be allowed to sell them. The problem is that if hood is not up, then it will be bunched up at back of neck which might notbe v comfy for baby.

Huffle well done to your boy. Great sleeping action.

squidkid Fri 16-Nov-12 09:04:01

Eurgh, not a great night, jess sleeping fine but waving her arms frantically in her sleep all night making masses of noise. She seems rested but I'm not!

Prescribed myself day of rest but sun is out so might pop to a cafe for a coffee and read a book or something - that feels like I'm playacting "mum" but whatever!! Now I just have to try and remember whether any of the cafes I like have babychanging toilets, or sofas... a sofa would be good

Everyone be nice to yourselves and give yourself a treat today if you can

smileyhappymummy Fri 16-Nov-12 09:33:30

Hello everyone
squid excellent advice on fitting in a treat of some sort each day, it's the little things that keep me going!
cherry hoods fine I think (and v cute especially if they have little ears on them!). Wouldnt leave her sleeping with a hood up inside though just to avoid overheating.
livvy hurray for better night. Sleep makes sooo much difference. Have found when tying sling for small babies that doing it as tight as possible works best. Might have a go at the winding tips too, thank you!
To everyone thinking they want their old life back and then feeling guilty, this was me with dd1. Doesn't mean you don't love them or that you're a bad mum, and it will get better, as I've said before my children are now the absolute centre of my life and having children is the best thing I've ever done. All it is, is a natural response to intolerable stress - don't forget, sleep deprivation is a method of torture! Worth keeping an eye out for pnd though......
Well, yesterday I took baby smiley to my book group! She slept all through it snuggled up in her sling and was admired by everyone. Felt lovely. Today will be my first time putting dd1 to bed without dh who's working till 11ish. Sure it will be fine......
Love to all.

cheesymonster Fri 16-Nov-12 10:10:20

Thank you livvy will try that

londonlivvy Fri 16-Nov-12 10:19:28

Oh and yomping I hope you get answers on sore boobs.

Smorgs I shall hope for tlc. I'm told by our NCT lady that talc is bad. I forget why. Smiley, can you tell us?

Thanks Livvy and Smiley, think I'm a bit paranoid!

Very jealous of everyone's sling escapades, will have to have another go with mine later. Would make my life so much easier <sigh>

They can make so much noise, can't they Squid? A constant source of amusement except in the middle of the night. DS squeals in his sleep sometimes, often sounds like an animal foraging for food, and occasionally reminds me of a guinea pig.

Londonmrss Fri 16-Nov-12 10:33:30

I can't bloody settle my baby. Ever. Everyone else can, she's an angel to everyone else. But I took the whole night shift because hubby had a long way to drive today. She awoke needing feeding at midnight. Half hour feed, expressed with other boob, sorted steriliser. Now 1am. Tried to settle her. She wouldn't be put down and kept getting stressed. Finally she dropped off at 3am. Then awoke needing feeding at 3.45am. Didn't go back to sleep until 7am.
The previous night, my mum stayed and looked after her the whole night. Every one of us got 7 hours.
I know logically it's because she associates me with food and I probably smell all milky and delicious, but it makes me feel like she hates me or I'm a useless mum.

Zara1984 Fri 16-Nov-12 10:37:09

Hello all!! Got to catch up on the thread. Have been busy trying to sort out the new formula fed schedule/practicalities. livvy I am loving the socks tip, will try that tonight!!

Boobs have virtually dried up which makes things less stressful but also sad too.

squid your suggestion of a treat every day is very very wide. Not sure what mine will be today errrr an uninterrupted poo?! grin

I am on the bus now to the passport office to try get an urgent passport for Tommy. We're due to fly to NZ two weeks tomorrow. <panic emoticon> Thank god for MN threads giving advice on FF on longhaul. Does anyone else feel panicky being away from baby?! I know he's safe and sound at home with DMIL, she's going to take him for a pram ride... But still.... I asked her this morning if the all-consuming 24/7 worry about your child ever goes away and she helpfully said no confused

smileyhappymummy Fri 16-Nov-12 10:37:50

I think talc is bad because it can be irritating for their lungs if breathed in, also some powders have cornstarch in but thrush can feed on that so makes thrush infections more likely, hope that helps!

Zara1984 Fri 16-Nov-12 10:38:18

I meant the suggestion of a treat every day was very WISE!

Zara1984 Fri 16-Nov-12 10:40:13

londonmrs I have the same problem trying to settle DS! Sometimes over_the-shoulder rides (copying what DH does) seems good because he can't smell my boobs as much IYSWIM

Zara1984 Fri 16-Nov-12 10:45:00

Also squid (and anyone else who has one) - any tips on best use of the Moby??? Tried it for first time the other night in newborn position but DS hated it. I like how the instructions condescendingly say that if your baby doesn't like being in the Moby, it's because you're not experienced/comfortable enough and a more experienced person would have no problems...

Olivess Fri 16-Nov-12 10:59:27

Morning everyone! Loving all the tips, especially the socks one livvy our house is quite chilly and I'm wondering if that's why baby olives doesn't always sleep that long at night.

We've still got her sleeping a couple of hours in the Moses basket which is fantastic and then the rest of the time in our bed. But it means I get a few hours where I can stretch out in bed and DH and I can have a proper cuddle.

Other positive news is that MIL has gone home today! I do feel a bit mean complaining about her because she is very kind but she has driven me mad this week.

cherry I've been putting cardigans with hoods on baby olive during the day and don't see the problem, although I probably wouldn't let her sleep with a hood on at night.

squid love the idea of a treat every day. Today is one whole treat because I have baby to myself all day with no MIL! But my main treat will be tonight when DH and I will watch last Sunday's homeland episode cuddled on the sofa, hopefully with baby olives cuddled quietly with us! I love Fridays!

Londonmrss Fri 16-Nov-12 11:21:32

Oop, also just wanted to say livvy and zara, it's great to hear you sounding more positive about things!

crazypaving Fri 16-Nov-12 12:20:43

zara it's worth persevering with moby. Try getting a nice tight hug hold, ignore any crying and walkaround outside for a few mins. Works a charm with DS2. Moby is saving my life these days.

Had a tricky couple of nights. Not sure what's up with DS1 but he was awake at midnight and then from 4-6am last night. No idea why but spent the majority of the night trying to settle one child or the othet. Took DS2 up to 90mins to settle after each feed too.

So 6wks = grim for us! Evenings are harder work at the mo too, trying to keep DS2 quiet enough for DS1 to sleep. Am physically exhausted from it all.

Hoping DS2 is having 6wk growth spurt blip as he's feeding every 2 hrs around the clock. Hope it's a short blip.

Sorry not to respond to all but 1-handed typing in v awkward position while DS2 sleeps angelically hmm on me and DS1 makes a racket up in his cot. Massive sleep refusers, the both of them.

springersmum Fri 16-Nov-12 12:49:06

zara like crazypaving we find the sling is fab after a few minutes of walking, going up and down stairs etc. baby springer def settles much quicker if I've tied it pretty tight with straps wide. When I first used it he was too low down, I'm q tall so need to start tying at the top of my tummy to get him 'close enough to kiss' (head just under collar bone), he seemed much more settled than when his head was on my boobs! I have him upright and just tuck his head under a strap when he looks a bit sleepy.
Only downside is he wakes up when I sit down - crazy do you find this too?
brew to all the sleepy mummies, DD woke before 5 this morning!! Have sent DH and DD on a trip buy a gro clock ..... Over tired toddler and a newborn is a toxic combination sad thank god DH has the day off!

Planktonette Fri 16-Nov-12 13:08:04

First off -*loopy*. You alright love?

Second - I actually hesitated about posting this, because I don't want to make anyone sad, but I also k ow that some of you find stories about happy things cheering and optimism making, soooooo...

We are just back from planktonini's first trip to Europe! DH had a business thing in Vienna, and I didn't think being at home alone sounded much fun, so off we went smile

It was great, actually, and a good 'practice trip' for going home to Australia in February. I know lots of things about travel with babies now! Airlines will take strollers under 10 k, and you can keep it with you right up to boarding (for example). Freakishly, travel in taxis doesn't require a baby car seat shock but we arranged with our taxi driver that we would use ours and he would keep it for when we were on the way back. Hotels have cribs, too. The Viennese public transport system has lifts to all the underground stops, which is great. And breastfeeding soothes babies when the pressure in the plane changes and their little ears hurt them. Those are the big tips I think, if anyone is thinking about going anywhere. (last year I thought my Australian friend was adventurous for travelling Europe with a one year old - she explained no, it's actually far easier to travel when they stay where you put them than when they can walk!)

I thought we'd overpacked because we had four bags... not even close. He needed more clothes, more nappies, more wipes than I thought, and I'd packed (what I thought was) way too much!

I'm so glad we went, we had a great time and it really gave us a lot of confidence that we can still do exciting things (if perhaps a little less adventurous than before!) bubba behaved beautifully, to be fair he is a very easy baby but even for him he was very calm and happy.

So, it can be done! We can leave the house - with luck/easyjet/infacol on our side, we can even leave the country!

And now, the washing... sad

crazypaving Fri 16-Nov-12 13:57:42

springer yes to all that! Tie it tight; tie it high; don't, for the love of God, sit down; and don't try to tuck his head in until he's asleep!

squidkid Fri 16-Nov-12 14:36:36

Phew, Jess is gripe-y today... it's probably my fault for my sporadic use of infacol... keep forgetting it. Am just trying to settle her to sleep in basket with use of folk music and me singing out of tune to her... she looks shattered, poor wee mite... as am I... she was asleep so I tucked her in my bed so we could both nap, and then 5 minutes later she woke and screamed for an hour, no idea what that was about...

this self-soothing thing I keep hearing about, what does that mean? That you put baby down awake and see if she goes to sleep by herself? does that work? hmm I always try and get her to sleep before I lay her down....

Didn't go to cafe in the end as got into town and realised I had loads of errands to run/ boring things to buy so did that instead. So I am still owed a treat today... v tired

smiley so good to hear things get better with kids as they get older, I think we all need to keep hearing it! there is something special about the tiny-ness of a newborn but it's knackering and the lack of interaction is a bit tiring sometimes...
londonmrss it is absolute because you smell of milkiness... my boyfriend and mum are both miles better at getting baby to sleep than me... it makes me feel a bit crap sometimes but I'm sure it's just because I make her hungry!
I can't advise much on moby, I gave up on it because I was rubbish at it! I used the sling library here and tried and subsequently bought a "beco" which has buckles and I find easier and more practical for my dash-around lifestyle and seems more secure for things like hikes.

well impressed with zara for contemplating NZ flight and plankton for actually doing a flight! Reminds me I should get baby squid a passport...

god, baby is having a right scream now... later

YompingJo Fri 16-Nov-12 16:09:54

Well, my treat for myself today is antibiotics for mastitis. Nice. Hideous night last night, hot flush, cold sweats, baby sweating and me shivering sad. She decided to help in her own little way by not settling for any longer than 30 mins at a time between screaming or feeding, all night.

I was totally ruined by this morning, had not managed any sleep at all. Got self to docs, got diagnosis and drugs, got home, fed but again couldn't settle. Nearly nodding off all the time at this point. As a last resort, plunged her in bouncy chair with Hoover on nearby. She looked puzzled then passed out. I slept on sofa for 3 hrs (waking to check she was ok). Very worried that 3 hrs is far too long to have baby in bouncer, is it like car seat, 2 hrs max? She seems ok though and god I could not have kept myself awake once she was asleep.

So today - and, in fact, the entire last week, can fuck off to the far side off fuck and when it gets there it can fuck off some more. Sick of pain. Sick of tiredness. Stick of inconsolable bean. Sick of crying. Sick of not really wanting to be doing this any more <heaps of tears, haven't really admitted that before> Alice is beautiful and I know none of it is her fault but I'm an engineer and a problem solver and it is getting me down so much to be confronted with a never ending series of problems that I don't know the solution to. Why is she so gassy? Why won't she sleep? Why is she so unhappy? Feel like this is slowly destroying me sad

The one and only good thing about today: I think I got a couple of proper smiles.

Sorry not to be offering support to others at the moment. Feeling very self absorbed and unhappy. I know people have it worse but this is still so hard and relentless and IT'S NOT GETTING BETTER.

smileyhappymummy Fri 16-Nov-12 16:41:32

yomping get well soon sweetheart rubbish being poorly on top of everything else. I wouldn't worry AT ALL about having baby in bouncer for 3 hours, she will be absolutely fine plus you have to look after yourself first so that you can look after her. I sooo don't blame you for not wanting to keep on with this, it does feel relentless but it honestly does get better - in the 5.5 years since dd1 was born the newborn stage was far and away the hardest and most miserable for me. One thing that helped me is that with babies this age there often isn't a why - they just do what they do almost regardless of what we do, so your baby crying lots more than another one totally doesn't reflect on our skills as parents, just the way they are. If that makes any sense at all!

meepsmum Fri 16-Nov-12 17:23:14

Hang in there yomping...it will get better. Focus on the smiles...for every bad day there is a good one owed to you! May not seem like it. I feel like i notice the long hard bits and stressful moments more than the easy peaceful moments as usualy have to run to loo or put washing on etc...
Well done all on international travel!!! I havent yet managed supermarket..how pathetic.
Good plan re- pay at pump petrol stns...why didnt i think of that.
Sleepy meep today...doesnt bode well for tonght. But managed some laundry, thank u cards and made lunch at 10am ready for midday. Felt like almost domestic goddess.
Then was hour late for playdate and just got home to notice that have massive wet patches on boobs. How do my friends manage to b on time and not look total mess???
I have moby wrap...sometimes works sometimes doesnt...thanks for tips!!
Sending cake to all those poorly and tired mummies...as if u havent got enough to deal with xx

meepsmum Fri 16-Nov-12 17:30:41

Oh and never question your skill as parent...in some ways the fact u r questioning yourself and worrying shows u care so much and are doing ur very best. That is all anyone can do. And that is enough. U will b doing great really it just doesnt feel like it sometimes as we all so desperatly want to do the best for our babes. xxx

Woolybob Fri 16-Nov-12 17:48:20

Evening all!

Sympathies yomping had mastitis a few weeks ago and it was horrible, much improved with the antibiotics thou so hope you get well soon thanks

This week can also bog off to fucktown as far as I am concerned. Last week really felt was getting on top of things, getting out and about and more sleep etc but since Monday DD feeding a lot more and sleeping a lot less. She was 6 weeks yesterday so hoping this is growth spurt and will end soon. However HV came today and weighed her and she's exactly the same weight as 2 weeks ago. Just feel a complete failure and really worried about her. So lots of questions about feeding pattern etc and HV watched me feed her and thinks fine so we just have to carry on (forcefeeding boob whenever awake) and see what she weighs next week. HV thinks may just be genetically programmed to be long and skinny so just finding her way onto the right centile and will then follow that one. Am consoling myself with the fact she is too long now for her initial babygros so is growing in one direction at least? Hope so as I don't know how I can fit more feeding in. Also feeling guilty about half hoping they suggest a formula top up as DH could do that at 3am.

Just finding not concocting nightmare scenarios where she wastes away in front of me or has some horrible underlying illness everyone has missed v difficult so thank god it is the weekend and DH will be about to tell me to stop being a silly cow. Have GPs appointment on Monday anyway so can ask her to check the bean over [panicky mother emoticon].

Anyway sorry if a bit self-absorbed, or if this is depressing anyone hoping all problems cease at 6 weeks, am still getting more sleep than at the beginning and she is much more engaging and smiling so really need to get myself one of those senses of perspective I keep hearing about. I look back now and the last 6 weeks have flown. Half way to 3 months which will be 1/72 of the way to her being 18 and moving out! grin

Woolybob Fri 16-Nov-12 17:52:47

Oh and I agree with everything crazy said about the Moby wrap, I have a Kari-me which I think is basically the same? If she doesn't settle in it while just walking around I find a small dance in the kitchen with the extractor fan on full blast helps and knackers your back

smileyhappymummy Fri 16-Nov-12 18:15:44

Yes, if I want baby to settle in sling I vacuum. Worked every time. (so far, touching wood etc etc....)

hufflepuffle Fri 16-Nov-12 18:28:01

V down. GP thinks I am just v run down, taken far too many meds due to all probs, rash is reaction to Fluconazole and poor system coping, stop all everything, try to express over wknd and if boobs not recovering need to stop BF and switch to formula. Sterilising pump as I type and trying not to cry. Was all those feckin antibiotics, knew they would wreck me, but had to take them. And fid try ff last night, poor DS totally disgusted and traumatised!!! Strewth!

londonlivvy Fri 16-Nov-12 19:31:08

Oh gawd. Huffle and yomping it sounds like you both need massive hugs. So sorry it is so tough for you. Your poor battered system. Such a hard time. But honestly formula is good stuff and I would really urge you to not worryif that's the route for you.

Woolybob, I do one feed a day of formula so that I know that DD will take it when I choose to give up breastfeeding. Which should be around four months but there are times I find it super tempting to transfer to formula as she glugs it in five minutes, instead of 30, and lasts longer between feeds. I keep thinking of how much more sleep I'd get. But that's v selfish of me.

I tried the moby wrap today ( a friend has lent it to me) and whilst it was great for me being able to hang out laundry etc with Velcro baby, I don't think she sleeps properly in it as she's horribly sleepy and not rested and hungry in the way that she is after a proper sleep. I think I will stick to the buggy.

Now... Advice please ladies. What pressie shall I get my friend who has just had a tiny baby (5 weeks prem, 6lb)? What did you find invaluable? I think the prince lionheart she gave me is awesome. I was also given some vests that do up the side not over the head, which and great as DD doesn't like stuff over her head. I wondered about giving her a nice breastfeeding top.

My parents visited today and my mum was lovely, playing with toes and oohing and aahing over the baby. Dad is not a fan of babies - fab with 5-10 year olds but non plussed with little ones. But cos they were here I had no lunchtime sleep and am bushed!

Haven't managed to track down any professional support for next week yet (mat nurse is away) but I have friend visiting on Monday, then NCT girls on tues, and a friend Friday lunchtime. So hoping that amongst that, I shall be able to maintain sanity.

Hugs to anyone else who needs it. I'm off to bed now.

squidkid Fri 16-Nov-12 19:34:08


Bad night for people. Big hugs for yomping and huffle - so sorry you are having to deal with crappy infections on top of everything else. Huffle I hope you can manage some (lots) good nutritious food and possibly a bit of rest. Also, if you want to switch to ff totally understand, but if you feel you're being told to might be worth speaking to breastfeeding worker about how to manage, do you have one?

- am not in any way telling you you should continue bf with poor sore boobs, just saying gps not usually very expert in bf issues

yomping I think we all think unthinkable things about the babies sometimes. I certainly do. It's hard to love someone who is screaming at you all day... not the in thing to admit at motherbaby groups I'm sure, but it really is...
ALso, you fail at treat. You need a better treat.

woolybob You are not a failure!! Weight is not an exact science... is baby pooing weeing feeding alert etc? These are also indicators of health. BF babies often littler than FF ones, they catch up later. Try not to worry. xxx

Jess shrieked at me for four hours throughout the afternoon, and then fell asleep for long enough for us to cook, eat, have a glass of wine, and have actual real proper sex! So happy!!! Little uncomfortable but felt good. (Though now am worried I am pregnant, like a teenager! exclusively breastfeeding and did 4 bloody hours feeding non stop this afternoon so surely not... Getting coil fitted next week...)

(Discussing sex, boyfriend actually said that hopefully we could get my parents up next week so we could have more sex... hahaha, how times have changed...)

squidkid Fri 16-Nov-12 19:37:11

Am worried I sound like breastfeeding nazi now!! Just want to make sure people are properly supported if that is what they want, and doctors and midwives and health visitors have minimal training in this really... I know it can be an emotive issue and don't want anyone to feel guilty either, formula good and necessary option for many.

hufflepuffle Fri 16-Nov-12 20:06:47

Aww thanks *Squid and Livvy Dont worry Squid, GP is male and fab and v concerned about me and suggested instant change of tack. I agreed to express on worst side over wknd, see how it goes and if not 50% better by Monday, address then. If still so bad I will call the peer group ladies who do home visits. All not lost. On a good note, just managed to express nearly 100ml from sore side in about 15 mins!!!!

Question now tho, how the hell do I know how much to give him????!!!

Yomping you poor poor chicken, you are in a bit of a bad place. Hope u manage to get rest and recover. Apparently antibiotics for mastitis make a big difference quickly so I am hopeful you will feel better soon xx

smileyhappymummy Fri 16-Nov-12 20:20:18

huffle big big hugs, sounds so miserable, you really have been through it. I agree with squid though, depending on what you want to do, please do bear in mind that most gps may know very little about breastfeeding - I don't think I have ever received any training on breastfeeding - I've been taught all the statistics about breastfeeding and why it's good, ive learned about diseases affecting breasts but very little about feeding and how to support and advise mums. So if, and only if, you have doubts about switching to formula, please phone a bf helpline to chat it through. If however it feels like the right thing to do then it probably is and you should ignore the above!

smileyhappymummy Fri 16-Nov-12 20:21:02

Sorry huffle cross posted! Glad GP is good,sounds like you have a plan!

hufflepuffle Fri 16-Nov-12 20:43:42

Thank u Smiley I agree totally. His opinion was based on fact that he has seen this before with folks who hav been thru traumatic births and hungry babies, milk supply obviously good as he growing so much but my body not able to Properly cope with demands and healing, especially the cracks. I did fight my corner and hence the plan! Tbh I am so bloody relieved the expressing worked that I can see light at end of my tunnel!!!

hufflepuffle Fri 16-Nov-12 21:40:25

Express pump question ladies; how do you clean all parts? Only asking as I'm sure u were all discussing it previously and I was surprised to kno that ok not to sterilise everything on each use. Obviously, bottles sterilised but do we not need to do suction cup etc every time? Just hot soapy water it? Have sterilised everything again here anyway and DH is being very sceptical at idea of not doing so!!

Thanks in advance

Zara1984 Fri 16-Nov-12 22:22:13

huffle on the Medela Symphony we have been changing bottles every time, but only washing & sterilising the suction cups every 3 to 4 expressions/every 8 hours (whichever is sooner). All the bits we wash in hot soapy water, rinse, then put in steriliser (Avent microwave one) with the bottles. If you were sterilising all the suction cups etc every time you'd never leave the kitchen! confused

(((Hugs))) too generally, you've had a rough day. Please look after yourself! Make sure you put on some nice relaxing music while you express, makes it more tolerable smile

hufflepuffle Fri 16-Nov-12 22:59:37

Thank you Zara! So do you just leave the pump in between with milk residue on it? Or do u soapy water it?

Angelico Fri 16-Nov-12 23:45:41

Just a quick wave peeps and big hugs to huffle and yomping. Yomping the ABs should help quickly but if they don't within a few days go back and get a different one - it seemed to be the second one I took that nailed the infection (think it was Co-amoxiclav or something similar, it was a stronger one than first). Mastitis makes everything miserable so a massive hug and IT WILL PASS I promise.

Have to say the whole BFing thing is either fab or a nightmare depending on how it's going. Was thinking about it this week and every bit of stress I have (admittedly not much compared to many of you blush thanks) is related to BFing. When it is working well it's quick and easy and cosy but when it's not going well (blocked ducts, waking BEFORE bean to express off gigantic boobs instead of sleeping on as she does) it's a pain, literally. Today all was well and I thought, "What is all the fuss about?!" whereas yesterday blocked duct really hurt from morning till early afternoon and once again I was having the "I will give it one more week..." conversation with friend who has been there and survived. Anyway have started taking lecithin capsules as suggested on Kellymom website for those afflicted with blockage-prone ducts so will see if they work.

Sorry not to namecheck all but it is sleepy time! And Squid with the whole self-soothing thing it seems to mean let them go into cot awake and fall asleep but they don't have to be wide awake IYSWIM - seems to work best when they are really sleepy, eyes half open or staring into space just waiting to tip over into sleep. Bean is pretty good most nights but last night when she'd had a madly exciting day she was overtired and flailing the way she did weeks ago when tiny - so out came the magic swaddle again grin

Beccus Sat 17-Nov-12 01:52:24

well, after nearly 3 weeks, i have finally caught up with u lot. have found reading everyone's posts a massive support and tbh feel a little sad i'll have to find some new reading material for feeding...still havent finished birth story...that's a job for the computer, too long for one handed typing on phone. londonmrs, your birth story made me cry- reminded me a lot of my own, but your experience worse than mine, just sounded so horrofic for u, hon. zara, my bean's hr dropped during pushing and there was a bit of a panic to get her out. i found this horrible, so cannot begin to imagine how awful your cpr experience was, particularly given the stress u had with your bp at the end of your pregnancy and how worried u were about his health then. huffle, you have really been through it as well with your tear and double incontinence- i would have found that really hard - i just made it to the loo in time needing a poo and it really scared me- worried what would have happened had i been out and not in close range of toilet. things have got better for me with pelvic floor ex's, hope things have improved for u down there, too. sorry to hear u r so run down and struggling to recover. yomping, cannot believe u pushed for 5hrs! i had epidural, so never felt that sensation where u have to push, but found the 25 min i did before they got bubs out with ventouse exhausting. hope your mastitis gets better quick. so unfair to get thrush/mastitis/anything else after all we have been through. livvy, really feel for u, this thought came into my head earlier on when i was hardly sleepibg and not coping that i should take baby and jump infront of a train. it really scared me - i dont know where came from,:but was certainly a glimpse of the emotional black hole lack if sleep and hormones and difficult baby can descend u into. u sound like u have great perspective, recognising it is 1st step to solution. kyrria, u went through it as well with your pph, sounded touch and go there for a bit, very scary for u and your dh. bella, due date buddy, just cannot, cannot imagine having another dc to deal with at the moment. sending u hugs. squid, u may have had a complication free birth, but it was 30 hrs ffs, incredibly painful, traumatic enough for u to have an out of body experience and flash backs, so please dont feel u need to apologise for your reaction to it, just because 'on paper' it was 'straightforward'. will post more l8e on b/f, settling and mummy tummy dramas. good to be back x

YompingJo Sat 17-Nov-12 02:25:26

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Dh took baby out for evening after a feed so I could rest, and my mum is coming to look after us today and some friends tomorrow. It's shitty timing, yesterday was first of 5 days back at work for shift-working DH. Antibiotics are doing their thing and I'm starting to feel better, and we seem to have turned a mini corner again at night, she slept for 3 hours earlier, praise be! It occurred to me that she may have been a little constipated last night - as I held her while my bowls made awful noises blush - I guess if what I've eaten blocks me up then it would likely do the same for her. So I have pledged to be healthier and eat fruit and veg lots more.

huffle, hugs, you are going through the sit and I'm full it's admiration for your grounded attitude. You are such a good role model for your little boy. thanks.

Angelico, you are right about bf being the source of a lot of woes. It's a but like Labour and general parenting, people said it would be hard but I didn't really believe them. Now I realize just exactly how hard it all is! Still, as my DH tells me sometimes from a safe distance nothing worth doing was ever easy.

Beccus, Well done on mammoth catch-up! Know what you mean about enjoying reading out all, but now instead of sitting reading you can post! Night feeds are the only time I ever get to post now!

Hugs to all who need them, kudos to any sling wearers and overseas travellers - both way beyond me at the moment!

Have a good night all xx

Zara1984 Sat 17-Nov-12 02:36:58

huffle i just leave pumo with milk residue on, yes! We wrap up the suction cups (with new sterile bottles attached) in a towel between expressions.

Beccus Sat 17-Nov-12 08:22:19

arse! i lost my post 2hrs ago, couldnt be arsed writing it again and just thought i had finally got baby to settle, but alas, no. so, as it"s 2 hrs since last feed, it's time to start the cycle again...just like ground hog day :-( thank god she was down for 4 hrs between.1-5.

so breastfeeding: didnt have enough colostrum, unable to remove baby from breast, desperately needing sleep so midwives gave baby formula. felt terribly guilty about having made my baby starve due to lack of colostrum, but also felt guilty she was on formula within 24 hrs of her birth. milk came in, so we were doing this ridiculous, time consuming regime of baby to breast, give expressed milk then formula top up then pump. b/f advisor has done 2 home visits and i have been to her clinic twice. she is a hairdresser by background but has been brilliant. my impression is that the mw and hv dont really give a shit if.baby is ff or bf, and i suspect they dont have the training, and they certainly dont have the time, to help us with b/f. anyway, if u want to b/f and are struggling, i would recommend the local b/f support team. fucking hormones, ridiculous to feel guilty about ff. if u cant b/f, what are u gonna do? cant let baby starve. we can no more make milk/colostrum on cue any more than we can fart on cue.

so, sleeping, yes, babiezsmay sleep 18 hrs a day (mine doesnt), butvwhyvdoes no-one tell u it is impossible to get them to sleep in their cots? i found.the article squid posted on the last thread re sleep really usefu thx squid. have pretty much given up on self settling bollocks after having tried swaddling, hot water bottle, cotton wool pads with breast milk on them, white noise, rocking cot, shhhing and patting and god knows what else. just gotta hope she falls asleep feeding and i can whAck her in after, or motion, ie magic baby hold on ball, sling or pram, and again, whack her in after she has been asleep for a bit....and of course there are times (like now), where she is wide awake and nit having a bar of it....this used to be late morning and lunch, not impressed start time us now 5am....hope it doesnt get earlier. oh, and a bath sends her off and helps her sleep for a good few hrs after. finding my vaby bjorn a god send, can do stuff when she is being a clingy velcro baby and usuallt she drops off in it.

*wobbly mummy tummy*: horrific, giant muffin top. how can we diet when we r up more than usual so get more hungry than usual?? clothibg is an arse, mat clothes looae but normal clothes tight :-(

WantAnOrange Sat 17-Nov-12 08:22:57

DD has finally slept long enough (in my arms) for me to catch up.

We have hit the dreaded 6 weeks and it's been the hardest bit by far, coupled with guilt for leaving DD to go to college, knowing she dislikes the bottle and doesnt understand where I've gone.

The house is in such a bad state, it really gets me down, but DD will not be put down long enough to get anything done and, although he tries, DH is a bit crap at housework. I've tried putting her in the sling but how do you get stuff done while lugging that extra weight around? I cant bend down very easily in it and I cant do anything thats right in front of me (like dishes) because shes in the way!

Smorgs Sat 17-Nov-12 08:51:05

It's pretty unrealistic to expect a 3 week old to conform to the Baby Whisperer's routine right? Am I just setting myself up to feel like a failure? He just wouldn't feed for long enough to get enough in last night. Then needed feeding again half an hour later. Keeps doing that frenzied shark act on the boob too, like it's some baby seal he can't quite summon up the courage to chomp down so just nibbles on it and shakes his head around while growling. Then feeds for a bit and pulls his head back with nipple still attached to mouth - ouch! He did a good stretch of sleep between midnight and 3am but then sooo hard to settle afterwards. I held him until he drifted off, put him in Moses basket, got back into bed, 3 seconds later: "waaaaa" Picked him up, settled until he was asleep etc etc.

Think some of the problem was my PILs are here at the moment and DH seems to think this is a holiday for them and we need to entertain them. So yesterday drove to the Pyrenees, had nice lunch, bit of a walk, visited a castle, but most of the time I had to sit in the car feeding him then put him back in the car seat (which he looks so uncomfortable in) while the others did stuff. So he spent most of the day in his car seat. Apart from the walk, I'd really rather stayed at home. They keep saying we don't have to entertain them but DH won't listen. Then turns into his stroppy teenage self and snaps at me disputing when I want to feed him. He agreed we would try this routine (which isn't really a routine, just feeding every 3 hours) but is now trying to change it to suit his plans. Grrr.

Question - for those that are, how often are you giving Infacol? And do you feel guilty about giving your baby 'medicine' so early on? I had to do three doses last night, I know that's OK but I feel so bad like I should know how to soothe my baby and not resort to drugs.

yomping you poor thing re mastitis. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better now the meds are kicking in, but still that sucks and sounds like you've had a tough time. But yay you got smiles, lucky you! Also, my dad reminded me the other day that if you think of everything our little beans have gone through in the past few weeks it is amazing what they've had to learn and cope with. It feels so long to us, but really it's such a short period of time. It kind of helped me to hear that. I don't think it matters if they spend a few hours in the bouncer, car seat is a different matter I think. Mine looks so uncomfortable and crumpled in his.

cheesymonster hello! Yes there is SO much to think about logistically. I took my parents with me to the supermarket the first time I went because I had no idea how to handle a buggy and shopping trolley. Spend the entire trip trying to spot other parents and see what they did - took their LOs into the supermarket in the car seat and balanced it sideways on the of the shopping trolley shock Seemed to work though.

cherry I think hoods are safe, it's just as someone said they might be uncomfortable when they are down and lying on their backs.

livvy great winding tips thanks! Wonder why it's called the Tiger grip? And thanks for the socks tip too - I did put socks on him one night and he did sleep a lot better come to think of it. Re. the present the breastfeeding top is a great idea. I've found blankets are also very welcome.

squid Urgh the noises they make. Sounds like some creature coming up from the Underworld/ Dawn of the Dead. Are you still swaddling, would that help with the flailing arms? I'm so nervous about finding baby changing loos in cafes out here, nowhere seems to have them. Yesterday had to resort to kneeling on a loo floor in a restaurant - narrowly avoided dummy calamity when it fell out but luckily landed on changing mat. That thing is being clipped on whenever we're out now!

Smiley How was the first solo bedtime with two little ones?!

londonmrss I know what you mean about settling them, but Im sure its just because they associate us with milk. Often he'll root for the boob when I'm trying to settle him when he's only just come off it. Like comfort eating I spose.

zara I totally panic when I'm away from the baby! In different ways depending on who I've left him with. It's fine for the first few minutes then I suddenly remember him and wonder how he's doing/ think up all sorts of disasters that could have befallen him.

crazy God that sounds tough getting two off to sleep.

planktonette Well done on that trip, amazing lady! You're very brave. But I spose they are more portable at this age that when toddlers. Still, I feel proud to have made it to the shops and back.

huffle You have had so much to cope with, keep reminding yourself that you are doing great. It can only get easier for you, I'm not sure it could get any harder?!

beccus good to have you back! Anyone seen orenishii recently?

crazypaving Sat 17-Nov-12 10:13:36

orange also suffering the grimness of 6wks here. Kudos to you for your uni work - don't know how you're doing it, seriously.

squid I may be wrong and am no expert but I think babies aren't supposed to be able to self-settle much before 3-4 months. Does that ring a bell with anyone else or am I talking bollocks?

Feeling extra tired today considering last night wasn't too bad. I guess it's just....hmm, nearly 3 years since I had an unbroken night's sleep? That's gonna catch up with a girl at some point hey.


Helps that I'm getting lots of very cheeky smiles from DS2, often at very unexpected moments! [melty heart emoticon]

Londonmrss Sat 17-Nov-12 10:34:03

Huffle, when we were in the hospital with the dreaded jaundice, they told us to work out how much any baby needs by taking their weight in kilos, multiplying by 150- that's the total they need in ml.
So my baby is now 4kg...
4 x 150 = 600
We feed every 3 hours, so 600/8 = 75
So that's 75ml per feed. We usually top that up to around 80 or 90 because plenty seems to end up on her bib.
I only now bottle feed expressed at night as it's a faster way to get it in her so she doesn't have to spend an hour at the boob... plus my hubby can do it. At the same time, I express as much as she drinks to keep my supply up to her demand.
Does anyone else's baby sometimes keep demanding more to eat, then end up puking the whole lot up? My doc says it's just because she hasn't learned to recognise hunger properly. Any advice for this?

hufflepuffle Sat 17-Nov-12 10:37:06

6 oz just about settled him.......! Thanks Londonmrss, I will work that out, but I do hav a monster baby... !!!!!

squidkid Sat 17-Nov-12 13:10:31

Hey lovelies

So nice having boyfriend around today, hope those of you with partners who don't work the weekend are enjoying it too! Managed to go for a run this morning again and then we went to the market to buy curry ingredients and let the old ladies coo over baby in sling. I like my life. He is watching football with Jess now, so I am going to finish this coffee then have a nap. We have a mate coming for the weekend later (Jess senior, my mate who delivered baby Jess!) so looking forward to that. We'll meet her at the train station and wander home via a cafe and the christmas markets, I think.

I think I am going to cancel having a coil put in next week as post birth I just don't really care to let anyone except boyfriend near my bits for now. Do they hurt? I need to get more diligent about using condoms... though isn't exclusive breastfeeding a pretty decent contraceptive anyway? I hear such mixed claims on this... what are other people doing for contraception or am I the only idiot who actually wants to have sex right now

I was on the pill for 16 years before I got pregnant so have never really used anything else. Don't want to go back on the pill though. Doctor was meant to go through contraceptive options with me at postnatal check but said something like "you're a doctor I know, what do you want" and I said a coil and should have got her to go through the different ones because I am a doctor who treats bloody heart attacks and chest infections and knows only the very basics about gynae, but I didn't, and now I don't even know which coil I should have, and I should research it, but I have a newborn and haven't got round to it, etc etc.

those of you who are breastfeeding, are you drinking? I am having a drink a night (about 150ml wine) and ... I just can't be arsed to feel guilty about it! I missed it so much in pregnancy, I cook nice food every night and I do like a glass of wine... I do everything else "by the book"... I don't know, maybe I am just a bad selfish mum...

squidkid Sat 17-Nov-12 13:24:29

huffle really glad GP is nice. 100ml in 15 mins is great! How are the poor boobs doing? Jess takes anywhere between 0.5 - 7 oz for a feed!!
angelico agree on BF alternating between being ace or horrendous on a daily basis. your bean is very clever, mine definitely needs to be fast asleep in my arms before being put down anywhere!
beccus welcome back and well done on the monster catch up! Definitely agree on local bf support team being the people to go to with problems, midwives and health visitors sometimes do the whole "breast is best" thing and sometimes thrust formula at any baby who's not doubling in weight, but either way they don't have a lot of practical help to offer
yomping really glad you've got people coming to look after you
wantanorange yeah you can only do certain household jobs with a sling...I can just about tidy, and cook, that's about it. Or eat, dropping food on baby's head. grin
smorgs love the shark attack comment, my bubs is just like that sometimes!
I still haven't read any of those books I think they would stress me out. Perhaps someone who's read them could summarise all the useful tips, whilst leaving out the judgemental tone...
londonmrss you're doing brilliantly, am in awe... I was told the night feeds are better for establishing supply mind, so if you're struggling with that maybe something to consider? Or maybe you will throw your pump at my head for suggesting feeding in the night as well. Re: drinking too fast -don't different teats have different size holes - I think someone told me that - so a smaller one might suit you better - no experience of it myself though sorry.
crazypaving hope you manage a nap today.

Smorgs Sat 17-Nov-12 16:16:44

Squid I'm having a glass of wine most nights, I don't think that makes us bad mummies. But then again I know nothing. Honestly everyone on here seems so well read or has had such great advice on everything I feel totally clueless. You're right about the books they are totally judgey in tone, but tis all I have for advice for the mo, other than you girls obv grin

springersmum Sat 17-Nov-12 16:31:40

I think a glass of wine is fine...some info from LLL which eases my conscious.
wine to all the mummies (it is Sat night and we've been working hard!)

smileyhappymummy Sat 17-Nov-12 17:07:44

Exclusive breastfeeding (min 4 hrly feeds during day, 6 hrly at night, no periods, no supplemental feeding and pref no dummies and baby less than 6 months) is prob about 98% effective.
Copper coil has no hormones, works because copper is toxic to sperm and by preventing implantation. Doesnt affect cycles but can make periods heavier and longer and more painful. Mirena coil had progesterone hormone in it, prevents ovulation in lots of women, thins lining of womb and so less suitable for implantation also cervical mucus thicker so harder for sperm to get in. More effective than copper coil, overall probably less bleeding but often irregular.
Lots of other options too. I'm going to go for mirena coil but really not in the mood yet either.
Rubbish when people assume that because youre a doctor you know stuff!
On the topic of wine..... Friend of mine who is a GP (was my trainer) came to visit on Friday and among other presents brought me a bottle of wine - she drank in moderation throughout breastfeeding her three children. I think the key is moderation and being sensible!
Better go, baby has just puked on my breast.

Beccus Sat 17-Nov-12 17:13:01

squid, i put muslin on baby's head when eating with her in sling to avoid filling her babygro with my crumbs :-)

hufflepuffle Sat 17-Nov-12 17:29:23

Squid there were 3 ladies on my yoga class on second surprise pregnancy who pregnant while EBF. Stats good at 98% but that RL stat is mad!!!! I'd personally not risk it!!!! No chance in this house for while yet anyhow! 1 less worry!!

I had copper coil. Feckin nightmare. 3 months of contractions basically!! Should never hav got it but that was pre preg and was against some advice. Think much better tolerated after a baby.

Well done on proper catch ups ladies. We been out all day and bloody wrecked! And DH fed bubs in public with a bottle, there were nearly tears!! From both of us for opposite reasons!!!

Beeblebear Sat 17-Nov-12 18:44:26

Ok so here is a good laugh for you guys...

We have a hound dog, and she howls... Well today she was out on the yard howling at something, but it want her usual howl.. Well my motherly instinct kicked in.... And i started leaking milk everywhere! Yes my dogs cry activated my let down. Yikes!

smileyhappymummy Sat 17-Nov-12 18:52:27

Interestingly I think a lot of the data on BF as contraception is from less developed countries so perhaps isn't directly applicable to women in the uk? Personally it isn't a method I'd rely on if I really didn't want to get pregnant, maybe to space pregnancies but only if a positive pregnancy test would actually be ok, perhaps just sooner than planned.
beeble you have made me chuckle!
Today's achievement for me was taking both kids to a birthday party at a soft play centre and managing to brastfed there whilst simultaneously maintaining small talk with other reception / year 1 mums!

hufflepuffle Sat 17-Nov-12 19:49:14

Oh Beeble! That has made me laugh!!! Thought mine was funny today as stressful shop in town and screeching baby being fed by daddy brought it on (anyone elses bloody painful?? Is everything I do to do with breasts bloody painful??!) But the howling dog has cracked me up!!!

My rash is disappearing and my boobs are feeling better by the hour, especially the hideously sore one. I feel better than I have in weeks. I could cry with relief. Any expressing doubters, do not delay!!

Can I also agree that nearly all stresses of past month have been either directly or indirectly related to BF. yes, tired, crying bubba, the unknown etc is tough, but BF had been so major. I am so cross at all antenatal care which lovingly tells us how wonderful and natural it is. If they were more helpful and truthful it would not hav come as such a shock. Would still hav done it but would not hav been so stressed about how hard it had been. Totally understand the change to FF for many. Glad to start to get over current hurdle, could I deal with another???

I'd like a glass of vino too but I'm a total light weight and knowing my luck little dude will break his 5hr+ sleeping habit and I'd wake up feeling groggy as hell. Nope, not healthy enough yet!

Angelico Sat 17-Nov-12 23:15:21

Right on for another breast-feeding related rant! Same fucking ducts have blocked again tonight - the ones from mastitis time. They are fucking agony. I am teetering on the brink of telling breast-feeding to fuck off to the far side of fuck and take my agonising ducts there too. Going to give it to Monday and if not away have to go back to GP to check if anything more sinister. Had a slightly dodgy lump removed from same breast a few years ago and get annual mammogram (although by a cruel twist of fate this year was supposed to be my last one). Anyway apparently recurrent blocked ducts in same place can (very rarely) be a sign of something wicked so with my history it will need investigated.

I am so pissed off sad Lovely day, lovely evening - until about 2 hours ago. Just felt lumps appearing and heart sank. Have had hot bath, fed, expressed, massaged and combed boob and taken a lecithin capsule and Ibuprofen. I can do no more sad

At least Smiley and Beeble made me smile through the agony.

hufflepuffle Sun 18-Nov-12 00:02:53

Grrrrrrrr. Angelico you hav every right to be totally and utterly fucking fucked off. Totally totally shite. No words of wisdom for you, just piles of sympathy.

Just given dude an entire ff to try to help in creating a store of expressed milk. Only able to express half that and keeping it for tnrw as hungry monster needs at least 6oz. . Due to totally Nobberish behaviour we ended up throwing 100ml expressed out earlier and totally mucked up good days work! Alarm set for stupid o clock to express again and hope that one ff does not muck up my production or dude's digestion!! Small hurdle, back on track soon.

Hope everyone well and feeling vaguely like a Saturday night!


Beccus Sun 18-Nov-12 01:00:33

awful pm yesterday, up at 1430 and unable to settle until 2130.....surely nit good for 3 werk old to be up 7 hrs on the trot. fed her a million times, got her off in the sling obly for her to wake up in cot, took her for walk; got her off in pram only for her to wake up again. massive meltdown by me at thia point as i was desperate for sleep ( around 19), and thank god dp took her. was in some ways pleased he saw how much hard work she can be, when u r trying to settle her on your own. he eventually got her off in her cot with hoover on for 20 min. here's hoping for a better nite

Squid, I had a glass of champagne the other day and a small red wine last night. I heard that a glass here and there was fine.
I don't know that I'll bother again though, not because of baby worries, but because I ended up with a headache both times. Last night's was a corker, and combined with a very unsettled baby - not fun. Never was a regular drinker, and like Huffle, a bit of a light weight, so probably not used to it anymore.

That was a great link, thanks Springer.

I'd also like to join the "breast feeding is the root of all evil" group too, please.
I've been lucky in that DS took to it straight away, I've had no supply problems, and we got lots of help at the hospital. But, he feeds so much and so irregularly that I couldn't safely leave him with someone else for more than an hour. Very difficult to do anything in an hour, and hard to get to sleep in that time. I have times when it's lovely, and comfortable and peaceful but after a feeding frenzy my nipples are agony and he pulls them around and chews on them like some kind of dog toy.
And that knowledge - in the middle of the night, dog-tired, excruciating nipples, screaming baby, when you just want it all to be over - that the only thing you can do is breast feed again. Relentless.
In case you can't tell, we've had are having a couple of very bad days/nights here recently! grin

I can't settle him either, LondonMrs. I'm sure it's the milkiness - I'm just one big boob to him. DH isn't great at it, but much better than me. In a couple of weeks I'll start expressing a bit so I can have a break.

grin at howling dog let-down Beeble, you're obviously a very good mother! wink

Glad you're starting to feel better now, Huffle.

Angelico, so sorry about all your boob issues. It's hard enough without all that to deal with. It would be completely understandable and totally reasonable, if you decided to switch to formula. I really hope it's not a sign of something more serious. Hopefully, with more investigation they can figure out why it keeps happening and do something about it.

Our news - persevered with the Moby yesterday (thanks for great advice Wooly and Crazy) and it kind of worked!! Ignored the initial crying, did some hovering (my house has never been so clean!), and Baby reluctantly fell fast asleep. Still need practice as it wasn't tight enough and he could have been higher, but all in all felt very safe and comfy. loads of crumbs on baby when eating lunch

DH is taking his last work test as we speak, so afterwards we'll finally be able to do some nice stuff as a family. Can't wait as it gets a bit lonely and overwhelming doing everything alone. He'll still be working his ridiculous hours, but at least we can do something at the weekends.

Smorgs, I also hate our car seat - it looks so uncomfortable! It's some super fancy thing that is, of course, suitable from birth but I think it's far too upright and bent. The straps are huge. I'm sure it wouldn't keep DS safe in a crash (but then I wonder what would really) and I have to sit next to him when he's in it because I worry about his breathing.

Beccus, welcome back! That sounds like a shit night, hopefully you're in for a better day and can get some rest. thanks

Oh, quick Moby question...I get quite hot when wearing, so what sort of clothes would baby need to wear if outside in it in Winter?

And finally, DS is wearing a hooded romper today! grin Thanks for the reassurance, I was being a dick. Was thinking about the comfort of it when they lie down, but also have a thing about breathing/suffocation...

Sleep well.

squidkid Sun 18-Nov-12 05:58:22

The morning's sleep report: 10.30pm to 5.30am - wow! I feel 10 years younger!

squidkid Sun 18-Nov-12 06:53:40

And now is asleep again!! After "self-soothing" in basket!! shock I've had over 8 hours sleep and don't know what to do with myself... cup of tea and leisurely breakfast I think...

Thanks so much for contraception lowdown smiley - will prob go for mirena as well but might just use condoms for a while
Midwife friend told me yesterday exclusively breastfeeding means no expressing&feeding so I'll be more careful - the thought of being pregnant right now!!!
Sympathies for all the BF woes, why is it so bloody hard!?

Woolybob Sun 18-Nov-12 07:33:36

Congratulations squid nice to know there may be light at at the end of the tunnel. We got 4 hours then only 30 min feed before another 3 hours which is much more like it.

BF - even when you factor out the pain, blocked ducts, mastitis, thrush and failure to gain weigh (phew!) I don't think I realised the way it takes over your life. Feel like that's virtually all I've done since she was born and there's no way anyone can do it for you. Would love to express enough milk for DH to take her all night one night but even if I did boobs would explode!

Saw bf described somewhere as the most selfless act one human being can do for another - very true!

londonlivvy Sun 18-Nov-12 07:47:07

Big moan alert: .I had been looking forward to the weekend, but frankly I think it is easier when DF is not here. I feel a bit resentful that a) his life isn't over and b) he doesn't understand that mine is. So yesterday moning when she wouldn't settle I had to take her for (yet another) walk. He didn't volunteer to do it so I could sleep. I thought I'd give him a break so he could study and so didn't ask. Only to find on return that he had just been playing a game on his phone.

He then wanted us to do something together as a family. Ie go out for lunch or supper. And whilst I agree with the concept, and want to put mojo into our couple, I'm ffffing exhausted and want to sleep at lunchtimes. Well, not just lunchtimes, i'd happily sleep any chance I get. He sleeps in a separate bedroom as he cant do busy job and uni on no sleep. Anyway, I agreed to lunch out, for the sake of our relationship. And DD, despite normally settling well at lunchtimes, wasn't having it. Took me 30 mins of picking up, putting down, patting and shushing to get her off. Then for her afternoon nap, it took me 45 mins again to get her off and then when there was an hour when I could have gone to bed, (formula and bath) DF said he wasn't confident in the bath withou me. I said well I hadn't been confident on Monday and I was sure he would work it out. He wanted me there. So no nap. And then bedtime when normally after last milk she is unconscious by 630, she whinged and screamed and I went through umpteen rounds of pick up put down until she finally slept at 8. When I went to bed. Through the night (when again, nirmally she goes down fine) it has taken 40 mins of calming to get her to sleep after each feed. So even less sleep for me.

Amongst all of that, I cooked supper. This morning I find he didn't do the bloody washing up. I am not impressed. His daughter has had me awake since five, again, and my back is killing me and he couldn't be arsed to wash up two pots and a sieve? Not cool. I don't have a mat nurse lined up for next week at all (my lovely one is away) and I feel like I can't cope with many more days/ nights like that.

So to all of you whose OH is better at soothing than you, to be honest that seems ace to me.

Beeble, the dog story is brill. Very funny.

Angelico so sorry to hear about the blocked ducts again. Rubbish.

Squid. 8 hours. Wow. This is fab. You must be delighted. I hope my DD masters this soon,

Re the moby wrap, I can't have it right as she won't sleep in it. It also hurt my back. I have a bjorn baby carrier but I think she is too small for that.

Cherry hope your DH last work test goes ok.

Huffle all that expressing and feeding sounds like hard work. Hugs.

Beccus that sounds like a tough day. Hope the night was better.

Intrigued re this breastfeeding as contraception gig. Seems a little dangerous to me. The thought of going through first trimester exhaustion with a newborn doesn't bear thinking about. Though am nowhere near up for a shag right now anyway. I would need a lot more healing and a LOT more sleep.

YompingJo Sun 18-Nov-12 09:19:27

Livvy that sucks about your DH. I think men often need a little help to see how their actions can come across! It also sounds like maybe you felt like you had started to see some order in the chaos, and that got upset this weekend and that has been unsettling for you - needing to see order in chaos and to feel like you have some semblance of control may be part of pnd or maybe just to do with being a control freak (speaking as a fully paid up, card carrying control freak myself), but I got told off for this by a midwife, who told me "she's a newborn. There is no order here, it's meant to be chaos, until she finds her own patterns. Just because she does something one way, or at one time today does not mean she will do the same tomorrow, the next day, or ever again. Or she might. But it won't be a pattern!" That told me! But I can see she was right.

I keep telling myself that DH and I are a team, and he needs to feel that I value him, and hard as it might be for me to accept, he needs breaks too. Sometimes I wish he was a bit more proactive, but if I ask him to do something for me, he will do it straight away - sometimes he just doesn't think of the things he could do to help, is your DH the same? Maybe talking to him about how you have felt would help, could be that he just hasn't quite realised how shout you've been feeling as he has been so busy. From things you have said here in the past it sounds like you and he have a really strong relationship so I'm sure you will be able to talk thus through together. Sending you big hugs and hoping you have a better day today.

YompingJo Sun 18-Nov-12 09:21:10

squid, yay for sleep. Can you come and teach Alice?

woolybob, meant to say that your maths to work out when baby would move out made me chuckle!

Livvy, that sounds rubbish, I'm really sorry. I would have had right go about the washing up particularly angry but I know when you have no energy you don't want to be spelling things out for him. confused
At least now he has no excuse not to do the bath by himself in the future.
I had a bit of a rant the other day because DH fell asleep on the sofa and didn't wake up to DS screaming (a few feet away) while I was outside hanging washing! Why was I even hanging the washing?! Wish I could fall asleep on the sofa, oblivious to all else envy
DH can settle better but still not to sleep, but he's never here and also been sleeping in the spare room due to busy work and study, so totally sympathise.
Wish I could help you in real life. brew

Awesome sleep Squid!

WantAnOrange Sun 18-Nov-12 09:32:59

Londonlivvy I would be very tempted to go out for a couple of hours and leave them to it!

Dont ask, tell. "I need a few hours sleep, it's your turn". Hand her over and go to bed, dont give in if he says he can't do it, of course he can! You had to learn by doing now so does he.

(I know this is being horribly sexest and not true of all men but) Men can be very good at 'learned helplessness'. He is capable, he can do it, he is equally responsable for her care. I think that every time we step in and rescue them (I do this all the time for DH!) we reinforce the idea that we are better at parenting than them but we are not, we have just had more practise.

It's ok to say no to lunches and going out btw, I'm sure he loves you and will understand.

Angelico Just tell yourself that you will do ONE more feed and decide each one as it comes. This really helped me get through the first few weeks. I knew that if I wanted I could give formula at the next feed, I'll do this one more....

We had the best night yet last night. She fed at 11:30 then woke briefly at some point in the early hours for a five minute top up, then slept until 5:30, and it was me who woke her up then because I was so uncomfortable sandwitched between DD and DH.

We are getting the most beautiful smiles now, well DH is anyway hmm.

Woolybob Sun 18-Nov-12 10:27:52

Oh dear livvy hope you didn't do the washing up. My DH is very good admittedly but he doesn't really get how much of a prisoner to the baby you can become. wantan is right you just need to tell him that you need sleep and his job is to get you some.

Having said that I was annoyed at first with DH being all gung ho and dragging us out everywhere (poor Emily's been to B+Q 4 times since birth) but I look back now and am sneakily glad as it gave me a lot more confidence to take her out myself in the week, we try and go somewhere everyday and I think it helps me stay sane. So next time may be better!

I had a major freak out at DH yesterday as he was looking at speaker cables (yes in B+Q again) to wall mount his hifi speakers and I was just thinking this is just another thing for you to do to not spend time with her but of course that isn't true, it's not very interesting for him to sit and watch me bf for an hour! I keep reminding myself of all the smiles and exciting things he's going to miss being at work (all the more reason to do the exciting things he can like her bath...)

hufflepuffle Sun 18-Nov-12 11:14:29

Apple Strudel Muller Rice, slightly warmed. Very highly recommended easy snack peeps. Mmmmmm

crazypaving Sun 18-Nov-12 11:40:35

oh livvy that's the last thing you need! Agree with all the others - you're going to have to be explicit and communicate with him very clearly.

squid envy of your sleep. We didn't get a night like that with DS1 until he was 14 months old!!!

DS2's been a bit unsettled lately. He generally poos once every few days, but this week he didn't do one between monday and saturday shock Then last night had an epic clear-out. loud, noisy poo, change huge nappy and relax. One hour later, repeat. THREE TIMES!!! And another at 7am! Blimey.

Gotta run

Angelico Sun 18-Nov-12 13:57:49

Thanks for boob sympathy. It's not totally away but a good bit better - tackling it fast and aggressively seems to help and taking shitloads of painkillers. livvy sounds like your DH needs to get a grip tbh - can you pick a time when you aren't shattered and emotional and just tell him honestly that you need more practical support from him? Naps can save you when he is there. Squid hurrah for self-soothing bean and long sleep and ditto Wantan grin Feels magic when it happens! grin

Bean just puked on hand. Hurrah hmm lol

lisbethsopposite Sun 18-Nov-12 14:36:28

I read, mean to post - get called away and when I come back there are about 20 more posts and the same thing happens again!!

Cherry I think those babygros with hoods are sometimes called pram suits. I treat them like a light jacket - mainly for outdoor but I think I did let DS sleep in it a few nights back.

LMrs re other people settling your baby easily. I am in the opposite place. We have little contact with family and DH gives up quickly so it is usually down to me. IMO grannies are great at settling babies, they seem to have the 'touch' and if your DH is good too.. rejoice. Your baby LOVES you, god only knows what they are thinking when you pich baby up. Maybe it is something like ' oh there she is, that WONDERFUL lady. I am so excited...'

Squid agree on the treat a day - this will be our longest single time off work.

Zara is there a branch of Cuidiu near you - they might give you practical advice on your moby.

Plankton [Awe emoticon]
Hufflep [awe emoticon] you are a fighter.
I know you have an eye on your business but are you getting a rest every day? and a treat?
I have expressed very little this time as having had mastitis with DS1 I am wary/scared of it, but a very easy way to keep your kit sterilised is to wash as normal - then don't dry but throw into a 5L bucket/bowl/large saucepan of milton water (think tab dissolves in 5L of water). After 15 mins stuff is sterile, but just leave it there til you need again. Same water will keep for 2 days as you drop in and remove items (I used a long handled plastic spoon). Then you can use directly or rinse under tap to remove milton (which is smelly - like a swimming pool)
Expressing and bottle feeding is a nightmare (shudder)

Yomping smile at the 'fix-it' mentality. My DH has that and wanted to take our DS to GP 2 year ago to find out why he was crying/what was wrong.

Smorgs I think of 3 hours too - if that can be called a routine.
I also look at other mums in supermarket to see how they are managing although I hate when I see a beautifully behaved 2 yr old in the supermarket as mine is a complete wrecker.

Squid BF as contraceptive - I can't imagine it being 98% effective, and especially not for a woman who got pregnant within 5 mins of trying. grin
I would actually guess the exhaustion is a big factor in the contraception but as you are back in business... ('Irish twins' springs to mind)
Mirena seems to be the one most of my friends have used.

CrazyP Squid self settling - I don't want to read that. The nicest moment of my day is in bed with DS at the end of his last feed and we curl up to sleep together. His little face.... I adore cuddling my contented baby, DS1 at 2 years gives a 3 second hug now and then, babies will not be addicted to touch - they will walk and run and only need us to pick them up, for now, I need the touch/soothing.

Angelico sympathy on the blocked ducts. I never had them and you are following all the advice I have heard. sOME people seem to be prone to them. Do you get blebs? A girl at my LLL group had to get one out using a pin and I had heard of this before. BTW BF is linked with a decreased incidence of breast cancer - a factor that I like as I was on loads of hormonal meds with IVF.

Cherry poor you and the sore nips - I remember what you are describing but it is much easier on number 2, and they do toughen. You might even be over the worst now... hopefully.

LLivvy I feel for you. I agree with Wantan advice. Try to get DP to do some bit with baby. This zone of complete exhaustion that you are in now - this is the worst. You will look back and see that. You are great for persevering and giving your best. You have been on here regularly and the minute you get the least break you are back to your positive self. Any of us (the human race) are wretched on 2-3 hrs sleep. This will pass.
I really want to send you a virtual hug thanks ((()))

Wollybob my DH thinks babies hve no personality and are only interesting at 6 months. They do not bond like mothers. Perhaps it is as well or it would be worse that a MIL, as they live with you. Imagine the rows if dads wanted to hold the baby all the time!! - Perhaps it is too hard to imagine grin

YompingJo Sun 18-Nov-12 14:39:46

Livvy, I have been feeling crosser and crosser with your DH as the day has gone on! Ignore that bollocks I wrote and give him a good talking to! Not being sure how to help (as my DH sometimes isn't) is one thing, but you doing the walking and soothing, then not getting naps, then getting supper then getting bath is just nobbishness on his part! Throw a feeding bottle or two at his head and tell him, from me, to man up!

YompingJo Sun 18-Nov-12 16:23:36

Dear wise people of this thread,

Someone has taken my grizzly baby, who takes ages to feed then ages to settle and often screams on and off for hours, and swapped her for an identical looking one who feeds for a bit then drifts straight off to sleep for 2 to 3 hours, and has been doing that since this morning. We are onto our third sleep of the day.

Although this is completely freaking me out lovely, it is not "normal" behavior for her. Should I be concerned?

crazypaving Sun 18-Nov-12 16:37:20

Yomping phases can be good as well as bad! Just enjoy!

squidkid Sun 18-Nov-12 17:08:23

my sister (10 days overdue and very fed up) is at the hospital, in labour!!! yay!!! fingers crossed for her she had a horrible birth last time and is hoping for a vbac

should have a new niece/nephew by the morning!

londonlivvy Sun 18-Nov-12 18:09:45

I feel a bit mean and disloyal to have moaned about DF. He does do lots of nappies and winding and he did do the washing up this morning! I think he lacks a bit of confidence re sole charge. He did also take the baby monitor this lunchtime so I could sleep without being disturbed by her incredibly noisy orc impressions (i forget which one of you used that description but it is so apt). It was his suggestion.

So I think with better communication from me about what I'd like from him, I think we'll be in a better place. He is a very adoring dad and generally a v supportive partner, but work plus uni us making him shattered.

Will respond to everyone later - thank you for encouragement and support, as. Ever.

hufflepuffle Sun 18-Nov-12 20:20:39

Can I ask for anyone's advice or opinion if you have time??

Still expressing on right boob and plann to continue to as cannot go back to that pain and enjoying freedom of bottles tbh. Struggling however to get enough advance milk to satisfy this hungry boyo!! He seems to want between 5-7 oz per feed and I struggle to get 5 most times if lucky. Current schedule is to express at 6am ish feed when both boobs full, but feed him on left then. Idea is to be one step ahead and give bottle when right due but express straight after. Issue rises when I can't get that much out!!

Do you think is ok to give him 2 formula feeds when should be feeding on that side, still express on that side and therefore (hopefully) have more milk than needed in fridge in advance?? ( v v confused emoticon)

Is the production 'physical' enough that the expressing will keep me producing properly?? Or is there a psychological element that will be triggered by guilt at 2 formula feeds in one day?? Did one last night at bed time as simply did not hav enough milk and he was totally unperturbed! Tho the farts this morning were pretty spectacular.........

Hoping that I can manage this. In my limited experience I really think 7oz for 1 month old baby seems feckin loads and I'm scared I won't be able to keep up, but if he needs that much what can I do??!

Sorry not to help others whilst looking advice myself....!

Oh and Lisbeth thanks so much for Milton advice. I will organise that from tmrw. If I am pumping so much and really emptying them, is thus not helping me hopefully avoid mastitis?? Was sort of thrown in to this quickly and not looked in to a lot, ignorance being bliss and all that, but I do not need more complications!

Cheers folks, xx

springersmum Sun 18-Nov-12 20:35:12

Hi huffle could you offer the left side if he's still hungry after the expressed 5 oz? Sure I heard that they often take more from a bottle than they 'need' as it's v quick/easy. Are you using a v slow flow teat? Sorry prob not much help! What about posting the question on the breast / formula feeding forum, just been over there reading up (as feel v confused about lots of BF things!), some v experienced people there, inc lactation/nct BF advisors like tictok. Good luck x

crazypaving Sun 18-Nov-12 20:45:58

huffle or check out kellymom.com - lots of good info there. Sorry I can't help either.

hufflepuffle Sun 18-Nov-12 20:59:26

Thanks springer and crazy. I treat this group so like friends that I forget MN is a massive thing.......! Thank you, I will go search for said area and ask. I am using Avent newborn teat with only one hole so I assume the slowest?? I do end up offering left but wary as it is starting to get uncomfy too as he can feed every 1.5 hrs and would much rather give it a break!!!

Thanks so much, off to seek.....

lisbethsopposite Sun 18-Nov-12 21:51:21

Huffle. On phone will try.
Could you express before feeding from L?- just 2-3 oz. Boob is not like glass of milk , it would produce more. Agree with other advice on here also.
Because i was not bottle feeding, expressed would create a false demand and lead to potential engorgement. I expressed once recently but actually gave it to DS1 - tbh i think i am just too lazy. And i have an engorgement phobia. You are doing the right thing - 10 seconds of toe curling pain at the start of a feed is ok... Not for the whole thing.
It is much easier with no 2, so i am really admiring your (plural) tenacity

lisbethsopposite Sun 18-Nov-12 21:52:23

I used nipple healing pads that were wonderful.

hufflepuffle Sun 18-Nov-12 22:15:57

Thanks Lisbeth. And I did try your advised compresses few weeks back! Thank you!! But way beyond their level of healing.......! They r lovely and cooling. Other thread started, seems I'm over feeding and creating a monster.........! With bottles that is , not breast. Need to slow him down.

Master is calling! Feeding time!!

AnneH656 Sun 18-Nov-12 22:54:11

Hi all :-)

Quick one here.

Ewan the sheep arrived yesterday. It works. Everyone should try it. Admit if he is hungry (80% of time) it won't settle him but for the other odd times it bloody worked on womb setting with light on.

25 quid on amazon


Angelico Sun 18-Nov-12 23:12:54

Anne I too am a Ewan the sheep Evangelist - our bean loves him grin Only the little fucker has run out of batteries tonight, damn him. (Sheep that is not bean, she's howling away happily in living room. I fear her batteries are fully charged...)

Angelico Sun 18-Nov-12 23:14:10

Oh and *a question for 2nd time mums*: bean is having her jabs tomorrow - can't believe it's that time already confused What should I expect afterwards - fever? Grumpiness? Have some Calpol on standby...

Angelico Sun 18-Nov-12 23:14:54

Oh and a question for 2nd time mums bean is having her jabs tomorrow - can't believe it's that time already What should I expect afterwards - fever? Grumpiness? Have some Calpol on standby... Repeating and hoping the bold bit works!

londonlivvy Mon 19-Nov-12 02:17:18

Humn. Though the maternity nurse had said it was ok to put babies on their side (firmly wedged in position) I have since read the SIDS website which says back is the only way to go. The problem is that DD is WAY noisier on her back than on her side and has woken me up over five times in the last three hours. This is with me wearing silicone earplugs too, btw.

So I have two options... Put her on her side, or put her in a separate room (With the baby monitor on alert me if she's in the red, i.e. cross/hungry. DF doesn't like the idea of her being in a separate room, but it's not him being woken up. Both her in a separate room and her on her side are both counter to SIDS advice.

I'm absolutely shattered.

What would you do?

bella2012 Mon 19-Nov-12 02:42:06

oh livvy I feel for you. It is a difficult one to call. We def didn't have DS1 in our roon for 6 months because of how easily he woke me up and he got too big for the basket, but I can't remember when we did that. Sure it wouldn't be the end of the world. But likewise, our Mum's were all told to put us on our tummys and we are all here. I am no help to you, sorry. Hope you get some sleep. Xxx

angelico I don't envy you-the first jabs are rotten. Is someone going with you? It helps to have someoe a bit more detached and less hormonal to hold your hand (and to tell you that yhe baby did not in fact look at you accusingly while it was being done) my DS wasn't too poorly really, perhaps a little under the weather, but some friends had babies with fever. I think they were encouraged to give the baby some calpol to ease the pain using a syringe.

bella2012 Mon 19-Nov-12 03:02:00

huffle you are such a hero. I admire you enormously and I can't believe you are still persevering with all the expressing etc. What a lucky boy your DS is-how much you have endured for him.

cherry I am so sorry you are not getting much sleep-you are doing so well to always stay so bright and merry. Hugs to you.

yomping you poor poor thing-how much more is going to be thrown at you? As ever you are doing brilliantly and coping incredibly well. Your situation reminds me of that quote I mentioned, when you feel absolutely at the end of your tether but then you somehow find just a bit more tether and are able to keep going! Hope you are getting lots of support. Hope you don't want to punch me for waving the 'It will get better' flag, but from what I know about you from our threads, I think you are going to LOVE being a parent to a chatty toddler so much more than a baby. My DH and I are not as adventurous as you, but we love camping and the outdoors and we have had so much fun having adventures witth DS, exploring, walking, making up stories, getting muddy and having fun. Even in my current sleep deprived state, he cracks me up with all the funny things he says and does. Being able to interact makes all the difference. Sorry if all of that seems irrelevant! I just know how bolstered I feel at Squid's reminders of how great it can be in a few weeks time when a bit more sleep and some smiles are on the cards.

Londonmrss Mon 19-Nov-12 04:32:33

Hi ladies, mid night feed here- just trying to settle her so will be up for a while!

I've got Ewan the Sheep too- it's bollocks in my house! What i've discovered aboutt my baby is if she wants to sleep, she will- no matter what. During the day, I could put a full philharmonic orchestra in the room and she wouldn't wake up. When she doesn't want to sleep, no amount of rocking or womb noises or singing will settle her. She does whatever she wants, no matter what we do, it seems.

Huffle, I would just keep expressing as much as you can (I think the way to keep your supply up is to do it as often as possible. I started off doing it every 2 hours round the clock and emptying them every time. Then stick it in the fridge and then add to it next time).
In the meantime, it's fine to use formula, and you could top up feeds that way (ie half formula, half breast)- that's what I did when in hospital with the dreaded jaundice and my milk hadn't come in yet.

Ugh, she's still just sitting here wide awake, happy as larry.

Hi Livvy, I've been sleeping DS on his side because he just won't sleep on his back. He used to but now he just seems really uncomfortable and won't stop crying or making straining noises. I was putting him on his front for a while shock because he slept so soundly and comfortably that way, but it's just too stressful, especially when he started turning his head - I worried he would end up face down in the mattress.
I always assumed the risk of side sleeping was that they could roll onto their front, where they could suffocate, so if they are wedged and unable to roll then the risk is removed? But I really don't know, because then if they rolled onto their front and suffocated then it wouldn't really be SIDS. confused It's all really confusing.
It's a very personal choice, but I'm happy with side sleeping.

Thanks for the words of encouragement Lisbeth and Bella [happy]

Not heard from Elpis for a while, hope she's ok. And Fjord, I wonder how she's getting on?

We are getting the hang of the Moby! Tried it again today, tied much higher and tighter and there were only a few protests going in, then he fell straight asleep, all the way to town and back. He didn't even wake up when I took him out and he's still sound in his cot now. So relieved, it's going to make my life so much easier. I'm already thinking about where we're going to go in it tomorrow. grin

We seem to be in the calm after the storm at the moment, and getting fairly regular 2 hour naps. 2 hours between feeds - previously unheard of! I wonder how long it'll last.

Oops, I hear rumblings...better dash, heaven forbid I made him wait a second!

hufflepuffle Mon 19-Nov-12 06:20:46

Bella thanks for praise but I really don't think I'm doing anything that brave! Needs must and all that! And I might be changing my mind after a week or so, this is bloody time consuming!!!!

Using Avent electric pump. Can be uncomfy. Wondering if should invest in Medela? Is there really much difference? Would anyone buy one from eBay or is that silly idea??

Thanks London , I am prib expressing average every 3 hrs on same side. Wary now of too much overproduction, engorgement and mastitis!!! But you are right, need to do more I think. Cheers

See this is a feckin pain cos DS has been in basket since 11.30, still asleep and I've had to get up at 5.30 to express when I should be revelling in his ability to sleep and doing same myself!!! Ah well, he is obviously well fed if sleeping so well. Consolation indeed!!

Happy Monday all, hope we cope without DHs and DPs!!! My new task of expressing will be much trickier without helper and other person to amuse baby! Hmmm. Interesting week ahead!!

X x

Zara1984 Mon 19-Nov-12 06:50:49

Huffle would recommend you hire a Medela Symphony (hospital grade one) - the other retail ones eg Phillips or Medela Swing are not designed for regular round the clock expression. A double hospital grade pump does wonders for your sanity when you have to pump all the fecking time confused

Twobuttonsaway Mon 19-Nov-12 07:00:50

Morning all. huffle well done for expressing 5 oz is excellent! Like you I had all these kinds of issues with DS1, but at 2 weeks he was refusing to feed from me ( he went in 8 hour hunger strike!). Cutting a long story short I mix fed ebm and formula because I could never keep up with his demand with ebm alone. This is likely because expressing is not as effective as feeding ie baby can get more out than a machine. Advice I was given was to express both sides every time He had a bottle - I did this for 12 weeks - he was like a different baby once he could get full up! Try not to stress - some ebm is much better than none!

angelico from memory first set of jabs were uneventful. You can give calpol 1/2 hour beforehand which can help.

squidkid Mon 19-Nov-12 07:05:53

Arrrgh! Sister in law still in labour... was 4-5cm at 2pm yesterday, then 8cm at 6pm... then just stalled completely... really really doesn't want another section (had a section after failure to progress last time, bad experience and long recovery) ... maybe labour was just a bit recent for me but I have been crying a lot... anyway brother texted me at 5.30 to say she is finally fully dilated so COME ON YOU CAN DO IT...

He mentioned she was having a doze so at least she MUST have an epidural in, thank god, the thought of being overnight at 8cm doesn't bear imagining (I was there 2 hours, it was another planet)

Am amazed it hasn't gone to section (frankly I kind of wish it had now) but just thinking of her so much and I'm sure it will be ok once baby is here whatever happens

This is exactly why I refused to text/inform anyone when I was in labour, could not bear the thought of people worrying about me!! My waters broke friday night so we didn't even have to tell boyfriend's work till bubs was here on sunday morning...

Ironically, Jess has slept beautifully through the night again! 10pm to 5.30pm! She is a legend! Whilst I have been pacing...

Sorry to not catch up with others, Jess is asleep again so I am going to go for a run and hope to return to good news!!!!

Angelico Mon 19-Nov-12 07:25:42

<Whispers> The bean is still asleep. Last fed 11.45pm, fell asleep at 00:30. She's heading for 7 hours, our personal best ever shock And best of all one boob is leaking gently but am not horribly engorged! shock

Thanks for jab advice Bella and TwoButtons. Will try not to wimp out and weep when giant needle appears sad I've been desperate for her to get them but now I'm worried she'll react / get ill / get cranky / never sleep for 7 hours again... LLL website recommends feeding them afterwards for comfort so will whip boob out as soon as possible!

Livvy I read somewhere about letting beans fall asleep on their sides and then rolling them onto back once asleep - maybe you could try that but seems a lot of hassle sad The SIDS advice is no doubt well-meaning but it is a bloody pain at times. Very quiet white noise seems to distract me from every grunt and murmur and help me sleep, otherwise I used to ping awake at every rustle.

Squid cheering on your SIL! <waves pompoms> grin And if she does have a CS people I know who've had two keep telling me the second one is easier. (No one can tell me why that might be, presumably you're just accustomed to the agony - or they might just be telling me that to stop me NEVER HAVING ANOTHER CHILD!!! wink)

<Still whispering> She's still asleep! shock

hufflepuffle Mon 19-Nov-12 07:33:13

Squid thinking positive vibes, poor girl, hope over soon. X

Twobuttons, thanks, good to know. Practically speaking I am wondering if I can keep it all up tho, especially as due back to work at start of Feb. might try to put that back a month, in my naïveté I did not factor in any probs with BF and assumed I'd be able to easily transition to expressing.

Zara I am going to look in to today. Overnight searches suggest £45 per month and I'm not sure I can afford!!! But hey, how much formula would I go thru in a month.

God, this is going to become v complicated. Hoping to speak to a local advisor today who will hopefully do a home visit. My head is melted and unable to revel in little dudes 6.5 hr sleep!! And here he has fed on left and is asleep again, bed beckons methinks!!

Ta peeps

Londonmrss Mon 19-Nov-12 08:20:14

Huffle, I second Zara's recommendation- I'm using the Symphony- hired direct from manufacturer at £45 a month. Like Zara, it has saved my sanity. It's also saved my boobs as my Avent one was making them really sore. You could even get one of these: www.amazon.co.uk/PumpEase-Classic-Collection-hands-free-Breastfeeding/dp/B0034ISZHK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1353312943&sr=8-2 Sexy...

Is anyone else still scared of having sex?? I made my hubby look at my ladybits yesterday and he said they looked different from before. I got really upset, but then he pointed out his big hard on grin.

But I'm definitely not ready to use them (I've only just finished bleeding anyway), but I'm quite frightened. Any tips from those of you (*Squid*) who are ahead on that front? I still feel a bit sore, but it's mostly that my body still feels a bit alien and odd. Maybe I need to have some solo fun first...

This is all assuming we ever have time for sex again. Frankly any free time when baby is sleeping is spent napping at the mo. Without daytime naps, I would be on 3 hours sleep a night.

Any tips from those of you who have good night sleepers now? Did that just happen naturally? Were you at the same stage as me when your little one was 3 weeks old (ie sleeps most of the day, needs feeding every 3 hours and another hour or 2 to settle at night)?

squidkid Mon 19-Nov-12 08:43:48

Arrrgh! Still no news, she was fully dilated at 05.20, dying here...

Had a nice run to distract myself, lovely orange skies, returned to dozy boyfrend uselessly holding jess while she screamed the house down hmm

I'll distract myself by talking about sex my favourite topic...
londonmrs if i remember correctly you had a short 2nd stage with no tears? (the only good bit of that tough labour?)mine was similar, though had a labial "graze" (nice)
i though once the graze was better (3-ish weeks) sex would be fine but tried it then and tbh it really hurt deep inside and we stopped
had a bit of self love next couple of weeks and snogs/oral sex only
then it was ok at 6 weeks - a little bit tender and we took it gently... does seem a bit dry mind which is the breastfeeding I think

So it just takes some time, I guess - hope that helps
sorry if everyone has run away with my TMI

oh and londonmrs at 3 weeks jess woke up hourly through the night and took ages of settling - the sleep has just happened naturally didn't try and tricks just gave her love when she needed it

lisbethsopposite Mon 19-Nov-12 09:55:08

No news here -
went to bed late (11ish) and found it hard to sleep shock
Feed at 2.30 and 5.30. DS1 awake at 7. But I have to say we are fine. Baby is 8 weeks today. Feeds are short and at 5,30 I thought it was still 2.30, so I fell asleep without realising.
Londonlivvy I am thinking of you most - do what you have to do to get through each day. It will get better. brew

londonlivvy Mon 19-Nov-12 10:08:02

Oof. Took over an hour to settle her from 2am feed. Finally fell asleep 415ish. Could have gladly killed the cat who woke us all up at 615. Grr. Blasted animal. DD then refused a morning nap despite being utterly exhausted and is being predictably foul. Lucky me. Lord knows how I'll get her off at lunchtime, she'll be beyond tired by then.

Angelico, it is not small snuffles. It us snores louder than my dad! She sounds like she's struggling to breathe.

Huffle your resilience and persistence is incredibly impressive. As with you angelico. I would have said sod it by now. I am already cranky about the fact that it takes an hour to feed. Plus winding and settling.

Squid I hope your sister's baby is here safely. Noted re not trying sex too sion but like londonmrss, sleep is a higher priority. BTW has anyone bought a pelvic toner thingummy? I think smorgs gets one as part of the French system. I would like to be sure I'm getting back to normal...

Thanks cherry and angelico re side sleeping. Will ponder.

Only a month til the cavalry arrives (aka MIL). Hurrah for that.

londonlivvy Mon 19-Nov-12 10:14:06

Thanks Lisbeth. X posted. Appreciate the support. Man this is hard.

squidkid Mon 19-Nov-12 10:34:49

I have a niece yay!!!! She managed a vbac despite stalling overnight, back to back but pushed out fine in 1hr 20mins and am so proud of her!! Mum and baby well yay!!!!!

hufflepuffle Mon 19-Nov-12 10:37:58

Oof, lost post. Grrr. Kondonmrss thanks I am def looking in to today.

On question of night sleeper, my one bead of sanity is that so far I hav a good sleeper! Very minimum 3 hrs, usually 5-6.5. From start I hav made a point of keeping night feeds nd change as quiet and dark as possible. Hardly talk to the wee mite other than to comfort him, keep lights down low and straight back to bed when finished. Also at start I tried to enforce routines and keep sleep strict during day. When I stopped this and let him sleep more in day he suddenly went up to 5-6 at night! Tbh tho the fact that he feeds so much orob bloody just knocks him out tho!

lisbethsopposite Mon 19-Nov-12 10:39:50

I have been putting lots of saline in baby's nose to keep it clear - one night he was completely blocked. I found if I drop in a few drops with him on his back, they go back into his sinus... he will cry and always a plug of mucous comes away and baby looks vaguely surprised smile
I prefer to do it regularly before he is completely plugged up.

Would you consider BFing her to sleep with you both in bed?

lisbethsopposite Mon 19-Nov-12 10:41:00

That last question was for you Livvy
Glad cavalry is on it's away

LoopyLa Mon 19-Nov-12 11:12:22

Quickly marking my spot before thread moves along at galloping pace again...

But just massive thanks to everyone for your support during my meltdown, you ladies are always a huge comfort to me thanks

And quick congrats to squid smile

LoopyLa Mon 19-Nov-12 11:25:33

We put Baby Loopy in his own room for the first time (@4 weeks old) last night as he's such a flipping noisy sleeper - really snuffles & talks through the whole night!! shock

I was really nervous about it but knew I couldn't have slept through the noisy boys sleep for the next 5 months!

londonlivvy we often put Baby Loopy on his side if that's the way he's fallen asleep & when we co-slept on several nights, he would roll on his side automatically to snuggle into my boobs grin this, despite me not breastfeeding from boobs!!

And was someone asking about breast pumps? I have Medela mini electric but with expressing find it took too long to do both so invested in Spectra 3 dual pump - it takes 10-15 mins & is super quiet smile Pumping both boobs at the same time has also seemed to have increased the right boobs production levels, previously it would only produce half of what the left did!! shock

Smorgs Mon 19-Nov-12 12:01:10

Fucking hell. This is hard work sad

hufflepuffle Mon 19-Nov-12 12:15:20

This cannot work. Not enough hours in day or hands or boobs to feed, express, bottle feed and actually care for baby. Was ok over wknd, DH cared for baby! Fuck this, I cannot manage to express and bf!!!! You are all right, it is impossible!!!!! I hav not even got dressed yet Nd hav only half expressed right boob totally fucking up any pattern


springersmum Mon 19-Nov-12 12:56:21

huffle I don't know if this is helpful but I switched to FF my DD (now 3) after similar issues and we really didn't look back. I thought I'd feel v guilty but I was so much happier and more relaxed without all the stress of expressing/painful feeds/recording everything that I was able to start enjoying her and being a mummy. We definitely didn't have any issues 'bonding', although I wonder if my anxiety/stress might have tipped into PND which might have affected how I felt about her if we'd not found a way to feed her without 24/7 pumping, feeding schedule as it was stopping me getting out.
Please don't think I'm trying to persuade to FF if it's not what you want, but FF isn't so bad. DD is v healthy (no more colds/tummy bugs than BF peers and ahead in all her preschool 'milestones').
Whatever you decide baby huffle has had a fab start and v v dedicated Mummy, big hugs x

crazypaving Mon 19-Nov-12 12:56:29

6 weeks is shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have hardly slept, DS1 is behaving like demon toddler from hell and I'm wondering if DS2 is spending too much time in the sling in the day? He sleeps so well in it, wondering if it's affecting nights? But I have nowhere else to put him! Arggghhh I need more sleep, last night was horrendous. Each night is getting steadily worse, longer to settle and louder crying. DS1 getting more disturbed. Neeeeed sleeeeeep sad sad sad Also he's gulping more and more air as he feeds as he gets older. Surely he should be getting better at this, not worse??? Babies are ridiculous!

Sorry to moan (and use so many !!'s and ??'s blush)...just want to fastforward this bit (however sodding long it is)

angelico the 8week jabs got us our best night's sleep to date out of DS1 iirc. Same with 3 & 4 month jabs. I'm sort of looking forward to them and sort of worried, in case DS2 doesn't play ball!!

Big hugs to everyone suffering the lack of sleep and all that goes with it. Head down and keep ploughing on...

crazypaving Mon 19-Nov-12 12:58:06

and special hugs to huffle and livvy

hufflepuffle Mon 19-Nov-12 13:10:22

Thanks Springer, is feeling very likely right now. Poor wee sod seems stressed too, this is not right


springersmum Mon 19-Nov-12 13:17:59

crazy you have just described my weekend!! DD has decided that 5am is a good time to wake up (and everyone else) and subsequently knackered (and grizzly) for the rest of the day sad DS is also in the wonder sling lots...doesn't sleep anywhere else and isn't really safe with DD around unless v closely supervised - nightmare. Thank god today is a preschool day grin
angelico like crazy said the jabs can make them sleep! DD first slept through after her 4mth ones grin I used to give her calpol before the appointment (would need to check age it's ok from though). Their little legs can be a bit sore afterwards sad. She always settled v quickly with dummy/feed followed by drive around. Good luck x

crazypaving Mon 19-Nov-12 13:25:07

springer so jealous....DS1's childminder is off for TWO MORE WEEKS

<finds corner to rock and weep whilst DS1 beats me repeatedly round head with heavy toy>

I suspect his 2nd molars are making their move. Great timing.

Zara1984 Mon 19-Nov-12 13:50:58

huffle I second what springer says. I am in no way suggesting/pushing you should FF but pumping at the level you need to keep your milk at full supply is soul crushing. (I would dearly love to be bf, it still makes me a bit sad everyday I'm not - I even tried quickly to get DS to latch this morning but no interest!!)

I felt EXACTLY as you did when I was expressing full time. Overwhelmed, exhausted, resentful. The past 5 days that DS has been fully on formula (and last 3 days I haven't expressed at all) have been the 5 best days so far. The Symphony pump is going back tomorrow good riddance but I'm grateful for it because there is NO WAY on god's green earth that DS could have got 2.5 weeks of breastmilk without it, I was getting RSI from my Avent manual pump confused. It is expensive to hire - cost me €140 for one month - but if you can find the money for it, do it.

Moral of the story is, keep at the pumping as long as you feel able but if you need to stop and use formula that is totally ok. I didn't believe that myself when I was posting last week and everyone here was so supportive but OMG with a bit more sanity its true.

The public health nurse popped in unexpectedly to see me this morning - she wanted to see how I was as I was so upset the last two times she saw me. She said it was obvious by looking at how much better I looked and sounded, and how happy and thriving baby was that FF was absolutely the right choice for us. Honestly I would never have believed that if you had told me before I had the baby, but life is what happens when you're busy making plans, right?

Agree TOTALLY with what ppl were saying up thread about breastfeeding being fucking hard and that this is NOT sufficiently advertised during pregnancy. I was (and still am, for future babies!) 100% committed to breastfeeding, so is DH and DMIL, and we just could not crack it. It is not just about attitude - if it were, I'd be nursing like a pro! In at least a significant minority of situations it is not physically possible because of mechanics, baby not getting it, pain, supply issues and the list goes on. This much I have learnt, anyway.

Also never thought I'd say this but got to say I am very grateful to Aptamil, their live chat helpline is bloody fantastic. I've used it to get answers to minor feeding/transition from breastmilk/poo queries frequently in past few days when I couldn't get hold of public health nurse. Bloody brilliant and very nice people too. Formula companies are certainly not the big evil tobacco-company-equivalents they get made out to be.

Sometimes when I'm feeling sad I think this whole breast/formula debate is not about babies' health, it's just another way women beat each other up, instead of supporting mums who are all just trying the best they can, whether that's exclusively bf, exclusively ff or somewhere inbetween.

YompingJo Mon 19-Nov-12 13:59:35

For once I am not here to moan! Popped on to report some victories. Had a feeling that the way I was bf was causing problems, and after reading a bit of LLL book, decided to try laid back feeding. Wonderful! So good that my let down reflex, which has been a bit lacking, kicked straight in. I feel comfy, no back or shoulder or neck strain, she leads the way (fuck, babies are so clever) and I can just hold her and stroke her and marvel at her instead of fighting with her and holding her neck in place.

Second victory: antibiotics 1, mastitis 0. Yeah!!! Fever gone, pain mostly gone, baby seems happier feeding (even before trying laid back technique), maybe she has been sensing something not right.

Third victory, used ring sling today. Win! Managed to actually Get Stuff Done around the house and also managed trip to supermarket where I spent too much money in my excitement. Best purchase: some different textured xmas baubles to hang from the carrycot and carseat so baby girl has something to look at when she is in them <proud>.

huffle, big hugs. If you do carry on, it won't be forever, not sure if that thought helps at all.

Zara1984 Mon 19-Nov-12 14:06:25

Big high five to yomping!

I am having a good day too. BIL and his partner are here for the day (been here since Saturday), they are looking after baby while I lie down. They made us lunch and are going to make us dinner. They bought us a nice bottle of whiskey to drink too. I am so SO SO SO eternally grateful to my DH's amazing family. I have an epically shit family who I haven't spoken to in years, and DH's family more than make up for them. Not once have I really felt any regret at having no family of my own to support me during pregnancy at birth.

hufflepuffle Mon 19-Nov-12 14:10:45

Oh Zara thank you, making me cry buckets again. Off to Boots to try and get medela calma bottle. Lovely lady from BF support just off phone and she coming to see me this evening for last ditch attempt to try to recover feeding on right. If cannot, I need to switch for sanity. Today has been hideous and is only 2pm!!!! Need to enjoy my baby.

Thanks again peeps

londonlivvy Mon 19-Nov-12 14:23:44

Hugs huffle.

I finally got DD to sleep and I got some sleep too and things are more cheery round our house. Let's hope it stays.

Zara1984 Mon 19-Nov-12 14:37:26

Hugs huffle - Medela calma is great! Just take care when you warm up the bottle - you have to give a good few shakes to check the milk temp. Because of the design, milk/liquid can get trapped in the teat and can be difft temp to what's in bottle, IYSWIM. So judge temp of milk by what you manage to shake onto your arm AND what you feel temp of bottle itself to be with your hand.

Very glad a bf counsellor is coming to see you today! Thinking of you, I really do understand what you're going through smile thanks

LoopyLa Mon 19-Nov-12 15:41:28

Big hugs huffle from here too. I express but only enough for around 3 feedings a day & the rest are formula. Even with the dual pump, it's so hard to find the time to do it & also have trouble getting showered & dressed for the day!!

Hope you're ok x

Smorgs Mon 19-Nov-12 19:15:01

Sorry about earlier post, just posted without reading and was having a but of a meltdown. Have manned up now.
huffle big hugs lovely, you are going above and beyond for your little one but you have to look after yourself too. Hope things get better soon sorry I can't offer any helpful advice.
yomping great the mastitis is clearing up! You sound much more upbeat.
Congrats auntie squid
livvy I don't get any 'equipment' as such, I have 10 weeks of lessons with a trained midwife. Have been told this can either involve supervised use of equipment or just them sticking their fingers inside and telling you when you're clenching the right muscles confused Can't wait hmm

hufflepuffle Mon 19-Nov-12 20:05:17

Praise praise praise praise praise the lovely BF support lady!!!!!!!! Oh tears of relief this time!!! Turns out although my latch is good, way I was holding him was just plain stupid and uncomfortable and caused his wee mouth to slip......... This causing trauma to nips. On one hand I feel incredibly stupid, on the other I feel incredibly cross that so much attention paid to latching on by all other professionals that no one realised I was holding him so badly blush angry

Just did an entire feed on sore side in her company and barely more than a few winces. Her next aim is to take me out for coffee to feed in public! Cracks still there obviously, so need to be careful.

So the day has been saved. Mummy is so relieved it is unreal, baba is well fed and the need for a heavy duty milking machine is delayed!! Still plan to express a bit as good to mix with bottles given my early return to work but the urgency had gone

Sorry for my meltdowns, sorry for the drama, sorry I was too stupid to find appropriate help earlier!!!!

The relief is unreal. Please please PLEASE may I not hav another breast related drama!!!!

Thanks so much for all your encouragement and support ladies, as ever. Where would we all be without each other? Luffs you all! Xx

londonlivvy Mon 19-Nov-12 20:10:01

Congrats aunts squid.

Crikey smorgs... Bonding with your midwife, eh?

Right. Bad mother confession. Every day I do a 2oz formula feed at 5pm so that she is used to a bottle and the taste of formula so when I give up, she'll accept it. My sister suggested this. It's been fine. Anyway, I then offer boob after bath and normally she takes it all and then falls asleep. Fine. Tonight she wouldn't settle, despite an hour's feeding frenzy. I winded, I changed her bum, and after that, I tried white noise, I tried cuddles, nothing. I left her to cry for four very very long minutes. When I went in, to reassure, she started sucking my neck and I had a blinding flash of inspiration. She was still hungry. Other boob was empty too so then had to have unhappy girl whilst I sterilised a bottle and made it up to give to her. She then necked 2oz in about ten mins. Can't believe I deprived my girl of food, even if unintentionally. [Sad] Feel terrible. I guess this is the three week growth spurt. I feel totally inadequate and mean to her. Poor DD.

In better news, i have a maternity nurse booked for two nights this week. I am excited at the prospect of two full nights' sleep. It feels weird to be delegating the care of my daughter, especially in the light of this evening's fiasco, and I hope that I manage to sleep properly rather than listening out!

Katla Mon 19-Nov-12 20:26:21

Wow, how fast things move and change for everyone - ups and downs, positives and struggles, it is so good to be on this path with everyone so thanks for telling your stories smile

Hugs to those having troubles and wine when things look up. Erin is being a pest tonight - she just won't settle unless I stand and shake pram or carry her around and my arms/back are aching (DH is out tonight so can't even pass her on). We had such fun earlier when she was kicking in front of the fire with no nappy, then she fed and fell asleep but she's really grouchy now and it's so hard when I'm tired...

She's so heavy now - she weighed 10lb 6oz at 4 weeks (born 7lb 12) - must train her to self sooth to nap as I'll get arms like a weight lifter... eyes water that some people have a 10lb baby at birth though...

springersmum Mon 19-Nov-12 20:27:32

huffle grin grin grin

londonlivvy Mon 19-Nov-12 20:38:46

Huffle. Hurrah to BF lady. That is ACE news. Yay.

Katla Mon 19-Nov-12 20:50:45

... just picked Erin up and she was sick loads - all down my back and the sofa, that's why she wouldn't sleep then sigh

hufflepuffle Mon 19-Nov-12 20:55:21

Katla that is some weight gain!! Brilliant!! Have HV coming on Friday and am intrigued to know what feeding monster is!! He was 10 8 week and half ago, goodness knows!!

Livvy so delighted u hav 2 nights help this week!!!!! That is truly truly brilliant, make the most of it! As for the formula, I did learn early on that crying is often hunger and if u are feeling empty, you need to feed baba. The better the weight gain the better will settle too, so do not feel bad. Given my last few days drama I intend to do whatever I need to do to keep baby fed ad me sane. Both are totally necessary! I imagine we will hav more than the odd FF in this house.

Congrats Squid!! Tho I cannot find post announcing arrival of Bruce it nephew!! Hope everyone ok

Hugs to allxx

Zara1984 Mon 19-Nov-12 21:23:30

YAY huffle - so very very pleased!!! It's amazing how different "experts" fail to pick up stuff. Sometimes I wonder if I just needed the right advice on how to get him to latch TBH... But there's a limit to how many ppl you can pay for help...!

squid happy days on the new arrival!

bella2012 Mon 19-Nov-12 22:09:30

congrats auntie squid

well done huffle hope this makes all the difference for you.

So glad you have some help livvy. For me, even knowing some help is round the corner helps me keep my pecker up so much!

smorgs I am sorry you had a bad day-don't apologise for meltdowns! Hugs to you.

I am worn out (for a change) Been really trying to just enjoy the good bits and not stress and worry my way through this precious time. So when I am up in the night, I have been admiring his little hairy ears and stroking his gorgeous soft hair and trying not to stress too much about how long the feed was taking. Had a pretty good day today really, had my Mum here for most of it which was fantastic, but I feel a bit depressed at how difficult it is to manage them both alone. dH gets in at 11pm three nights a week so I have to get better at managing them. DS2 is awake almost all day and while I am glad he knows his night from day, it is hard that he seems to cry a lot of the time when he is not feeding so I feel like I just feed him loads. But then I can't get DS1 out of the bath or dressed with only one hand so I have to sometimes let him cry while I take care of DS1 who is so touchingly patient and lovely with DS2 that I could cry. But I just feel so bad that I can't do anything like as much with him as I used to. Sigh. He is always saying to me 'I love you so much Mummy, will you always love me?' and I have to reassure him millions of times a day that I love him and always will. And it feels like every time I start feeding, he announces that he is desperate for the toilet. Potty training has always been a nightmare so keen not to make that any worse. I am so sorry to be whinging as I am actually OK today, not cried even once! I just know how quickly my baby disappeared last time and I really want to make the most of it and enjoy it, but instead I feel stressed all the time to try and please them both or in a rare moment that they are both asleep try and achieve those impossible goals like washing my hair/tidying the kitchen etc. And I look like total shit. I am wearing bf vests and big shirts every day as not great at discreet feeding and I just look so pale and worn and haggard. Interesting to read about you guys considering resuming your sex life-I love and desire my husband very much, but I feel so so unsexy, fat and like a walking milk machine that I really could not face sex even if my bits were better or we got any time together! Makes me a bit sad.

In other news-is anyone else still on lactulose? I am in a really bad way down there still! Not nice.

Love to you all. Good luck with nightshift!


AnneH656 Mon 19-Nov-12 22:24:30

bella am still on lactulose! Also no way wanting a penis in my vagina... Birth was four weeks ago on weds. Fear of pregnancy enough to keep me in my giant comedy pants. Oh, i got my dp to check lady bits healing yesterday. It made him a bit horny. Am not even joking.......

Bit of shit day. my 9 year old dd has vomming bug. Ewan the sheep no fucking help then!!

Brill news squid and huffle :-)

Masses of luck for tonight all round

bella2012 Mon 19-Nov-12 22:29:22

thanks Anne, that made me laugh! Do you just have the two children or more? How is your 9 year old coping? Sorry that she is ill! Horrid. Ewan should have a function to clear up sick.

crazy I meant to sympathise on what you had written on juggling two of them. Sounds like you are doing an amazing job juggling it all. Xxx

bella2012 Mon 19-Nov-12 22:33:56

and Livvy you seem to have a really impressive routine to your day. My days are all pretty haphazard-maybe because the baby has to fit around ds1 a bit more. And there is no pattern to the feeding at all. Am I alone in that? I haven't even had a go at expressing yet as he doesn't seem to stop feeding long enough for me to try. He sleeps in the car but then I am busy driving.

Angelico Mon 19-Nov-12 23:09:24

Jabs done, poor bean shrieked but cheered up after a feed. She is a bit unsettled tonight but might just be because she didn't get much sleep today. She's feeding like a fiend too!

Congrats to Auntie Squid smile And sympathy to Crazy and anyone else juggling two confused thanks And cheers for Yomping and Huffle but equally Zara you are right. BFing may be good for babies if it's going well but suspect it can be quite bad for mothers. I started a thread in BFing to ask if people gave it up sooner than planned and how they felt about it and some of the horrendous things people went through before finally jacking it in made me blush that I was thinking of quitting 'just' for agonising blocked ducts confused The pressure is ridiculous. Last night and today were great because ducts are clear and everything is flowing but I keep wondering how long I have till the next lot - an hour? A day? A week? A month...?

Here's to quiet nights all round...!

Londonmrss Tue 20-Nov-12 02:46:49

For anyone not on the FB group, MickeyTheShortOne had her baby!
Welcome to the postnatal group Mickey, when you get the chance to join us.
In an uncharacteristically positive move, IO'd like to take a tiny moment to celebrate the fact that we all made it here. The journey was difficult for some of us, more difficult for others- but all our babies arrived safely. Good news.
Huffle, can I ask how you are strict about sleep during the day? I don't know how I'd stop mine from sleeping during the day- she's so relaxed that even a nappy change or stripping her doesn't piss her off enough to keep her awake- ~I'd have to fire cold water at her every hour I think...
Bella, I'm still having poo problems. I've started having lots of ground flaxseed in yoghurt and on cereal and it has really helped.

bella2012 Tue 20-Nov-12 04:22:31

yes London I throroughly agree. I think it is wonderful that all our babies are here safely. I remember when we first started the thread and during the first trimester we lost a few friends who had miscarried. I still think about them sometimes and wonder if they have concieved again. It is sad to think that they would have been going through all of this with us just now but they are not. I feel hugely fortunate to have a healthy baby and am so glad every one of us have made it from the AN thread to the OTHER SIDE! Glass of champagne all round I think! Xxx

LoopyLa Tue 20-Nov-12 05:36:01

Lovely sentiments LondonMrss & I couldn't agree more thanks all round!! smile

LoopyLa Tue 20-Nov-12 05:38:29

Lovely sentiments LondonMrss & I couldn't agree more thanks all round!! smile

LoopyLa Tue 20-Nov-12 05:44:09

I got an ErgoBaby carrier over the weekend & used it yesterday with great success - I know I'm a bit late asking but has anyone got one of these? Baby Loopy didnt want to put his legs inside the insert so left them outside which he then bent anyway - is this ok?? confused He didn't cry & in fact slept for a an hour & a half, I guess he would have cried if uncomfortable?

Kyyria just wondering if you're ok love? Big hugs to you if you're reading but not posting x

Hi girls. Will be on to post more later, but just wanted to say i have joined your ranks! I gave birth to an eye-watering 10lber aby girl by name of Pippa Maxie Heidi on sunday at 22.56. Birth was straightforward as anything- the aftermath however was not. Hopefuly we will be discharged from hospital today!x

hufflepuffle Tue 20-Nov-12 07:04:14

Yay Mickey!!!!!! Welcome to motherhood!! Lovely name, welcome Pippa!! Big baby, hope u ok chicken, do take best care of yourself possible. X x

Other news. Went to bed with chill, awoken with fever, hot sweats and pain in breast...... Can only be mastitis!!!! Is there anything else can be thrown at me??

DH off to out of hours to pick up antibiotic. I am actually strangely unperturbed. Whatever next?! Maybe been brewing for while and adding to my pains?

hufflepuffle Tue 20-Nov-12 07:45:19

Londomrss I tried to be strict about day sleeping at start, thinking i would create a routine, but discovered when I let him sleep more during day he slept longer at night!' guess he was overtired.

My torture way to waken was to lift out of wherever sleeping and change nappy. But just created a cross baby!! Not sure if would even work now anyhow as sleeps so deeply!

Just pumped 180ml off sore side. Sweet Lord. I've prob brought this mastitis on myself with all this feckin about with expressing and formula and boob not been emptying properly. As of today with new advice hav to get baby feeding on this again!! The joys the joys!!!

DH will hav to stay home today, right? Mastitis = poorly therefore lots of rest?? Stay in bed and just be feeding machine?? If I didn't feel so shit I'd be delighted!! confused

bella2012 Tue 20-Nov-12 07:46:37

so happy for you mickey and looking forward to hearing all about it xx

huffle i can not actually believe you are suffering even more, you poor thing. Those boobs of yours ey? When i had ds i had a nightmare bfeeding and I remember feeling that I had barely given my nipples a second thought through my whole life, but that at that time, they bloody well ruled my life! I second what everyone says about poor antenaatal preparation about bf. I did try to say as much on the antenatal thread, but didn't stress it too much as didn't want to seem all doom and gloom. I wish they didn't make out that because it is a 'natural ' that it is easy, or has any relation to the connection between Mum and baby. Like you say, we would still have a go but wouldn't put this huge pressure on ourselves.

WantAnOrange Tue 20-Nov-12 07:59:23

Mickey you made it! Congratulations! grin

Livvy dont feel bad! You're not inadequate at all. I would say that your boobs are never empty, even if they feel very soft and you cant express from them your baby will still be able to get milk so that might save you faffing with sterilisers in the future. Also, if she is needing more, you need to feed more or your supply wont build up to match what she needs, then you'll have to rely on formula. That said, One bottle of formula a day does not make you a bad mother, it makes you a great mother! Your doing what works for you.

Loopy I have an Ergo and I love it. DDs is so tall that her legs come out the leg holes already, even though shes 'supposed' to still be curled up.

Infact, she is so freakishly tall that she cannot wear 0-3 babygrows with feet, she needs footless ones or 3-6 months shock. Didnt expect this, I'm only 5"3!

I'm trying to get the hang of feeding in it but she is way to high up, so I have have the straps really loose which makes my neck hurt. I'm considering a ring sling for BF in.

Usually I find it very comfy.

huffle Im so glad you got some decent support with BF but cant beleive you have mastitis now, bloody sod's law! You will be an expert in solving BF problems though...

I'm having a bit of a dilema over DDs name. Her name is Artemis Lily and before she was born her nn was always going to be Missy, but now I find myself calling her Arty all the time instead. She just is an Arty. Is it a bit weird to tell people Ive changed her nn? blush

Im supposed to be going xmas shopping today, lovely weather for it hmm...

hufflepuffle Tue 20-Nov-12 08:26:49

Cheers peeps. After lovely BF lady visited (all volunteers, remarkable) I am more determined than ever and not feeling too phased by this. Prompt treatment should make it bugger off so hopefully not major at all!

Wantan I am impressed by your tall girl!!! And you on ly 5'3! Remarkable!! Our wee man is so tall too, but we are 6' and 6'6 so totally expected. I just adore babygros and think they should be comfy wardrobe staple for months! But his legs are too long for most 0-3 and 3-6 still too big so will end up in suits and socks!

Did anyone ever hear that is totally bad idea to put anything other than socks on babies feet? Friend with wee boy was advised this by podiatrist friend. Especially when learning to walk. Affects how they feel and interact with surfaces. I was adamant I'd follow this but if little man not in babygros he will get cold feet!!!!!

So true Bella, 'natural' yes, 'unprepared for' totally!!!! And wasn't it u asking about lactulose? Yep, still on, fibogel too. Totally afraid to stop......... Tho if my haemoglobin up I will stop taking iron, move on to spa tone or fluoradix and see if that helps. I have not looked down below, hav no intention of directing DH to look and on absolutely no hurry to have any thing anywhere near my bits in the foreseeable future!!! And how the hell would we conjur up the time or energy anyway??? I admire anyone with a live libido. Mine is hibernating!! Never mind feeling like a cow with my bloody udders out half the time. DH insists they look sexy, I think he's trying to keep me sweet!!!

Loopy thank you for your congrats to us all for getting here! I too often think of ladies who disappeared along the way and the heartache they must feel, we whinge and feel sorry for selves (looking pointedly at self here....) but we are still so lucky and fortunate to hav come out the other side avec beautiful healthy babies. Three cheers and million hugs for the October crew!! May we continue to support each other so well as our lives continue to change! thanks wine

DH took DS with him, look how I can catch up with no baby to care for??!
Really must go to sleep, head throbbing and really feeling shitty.

Take care girls, love to all.

Ps Mickey if u about, don't read our moans about early weeks!! Take it as it comes and when you need to vent or ask for advice u can guarantee one of us has been there already!!! Enjoy little Pippa, lovely!! Xx

WantAnOrange Tue 20-Nov-12 09:03:02

huffle I wouldnt put shoes on a baby, mostly because its a PITA but I think soft booties, before they are walking are fine. I've been putting DD in babgrows without feet, with tights underneath. Could you get some tights for DS (in neutral colours)?

hufflepuffle Tue 20-Nov-12 09:14:27

Yep Wantan will be getting some tights for winter!! Funny in UK we assume tights for girls but to my memory European kids wear them, boy or girl! Remember baby boys wearing in France when I was au pair and certainly we had polish friends who put them in little boy.

I need to learn my lesson about preaching about things.... Made such a fuss to mum and MIL about not buying bootees for DS as they bad idea but cannot give him cold feet!!! Hmm, will be interesting!

londonlivvy Tue 20-Nov-12 09:22:26

Mickey, huge congrats. and goodness, 10lb baby! wow. very very impressive.

Ah thanks wantanorange. I thought if I squeezed and nothing came out then there was no more milk. Definitely don't want to faff with formula more than once a day - and that's more of an insurance policy for the future or if I'm ill etc.

I have expressed this morning for the maternity nurse tonight. Lordy. How any of you do this expressing regularly I have no idea. First of all it does nothing for my feelings of attractiveness - I feel like a cow, and secondly, even if you do one boob whilst you feed on the other there is way more faff with sterilising etc. gah. So full respect to those ladies like huffle who are persisting with feeding and expressing. I'd have been on the gin by now.

And huffle, so sorry to hear re the mastitis . You really have not had a lot of luck with those boobsof yours.

Bella, I'm a big OCD so routine helps me and she seems happy with it too. It doesn't always work but she loves the bath and sleeps longer afterwards so I try to stick to that bit at least. Certainly a lot easier when you have no other children though.

Very excited at prospect of sharing a bed with DF tonight. Not for any monkey business, mind, but sleeping able to reach out and touch him... Awww. What a lovely thought.

Chuckling re these v tall babies. Tis funny isn't it to see the variations already. DD has long legs but a short torso so has her feet straining against e bottom whilst the torso is all baggy. Hum. Will have to find a better solution later!

Angelico Tue 20-Nov-12 09:24:45

Congrats Mickey! thanks And totally agree London and Bella - healthy beans all round is such a relief - and mostly healthy mums too aside from various shades of exploding boob wink And on that note Huffle sending a (gentle non-boob-squeezing) hug. Shovel in the ABs and keep pumping and expressing - but also make sure you take Ibuprofen or similar for pain and swelling because it really helps fast smile x

Going to creche today for meeting to sort out when the bean starts, how it works etc. Feel a mixture of confused sad blush grin about the whole creche thing - can't imagine handing over PFB to strangers confused

Angelico Tue 20-Nov-12 09:28:07

Livvy your bean sounds like ours smile Having to get out the 3-6 month babygros for her long frog-like legs but they drown her top half and arms smile Is quite comical. Thing is, even from her scan at 15 weeks she had ridiculously long legs smile And will also be sharing bed with DH tonight as parents are coming up and sleeping in spare room lol.

LoopyLa Tue 20-Nov-12 10:16:04

I have a long baby too!! We'll soon have to put Baby Loopy into 0-3 babygros (he was a diddy 6lb, 11oz when born) but only because he's too long for newborn, but they're baggy in the body!! shock

First proper day without DH today & while I haven't showered, I have got dressed & having a brew while expressing - huzzah for small victories!! Baby Loopy is sat in rocker in front of Thomas the Tank Engine blush

Lizzietow Tue 20-Nov-12 10:18:09

Argh! LO kept me up 11-2! And the. Woke a few times. Help!

LoopyLa Tue 20-Nov-12 11:23:19

Oh dear Lizzie, bet you're exhausted!

We got up at 4am to feed & not been able to go back to sleep yet he was snoozing on my chest & I didn't want to disturb him, I'm an idiot hmm

Midgetm Tue 20-Nov-12 12:17:41

Oh my, I lost you.

So happy mickey has joined us and such lovely words from London and bella. We are lucky that we have made it this far and I raise a glass to that and hope that the ones that fell along the way will be celebrating themselves soon. And the other thread is now over and we are all here wine.

I've been holding a pity party as something seriously wrong with my pelvic floor. Not sure what yet but it don't feel right. If anyone else is having problems I have just got a DVD called HAB it. It is brilliant. Did it this morning and already feel more positive that I can get things back in the right place. Hardly surprising considering my birth experience that things are a bit wonky so desperately trying to cling to perspective. Luckily master midge still an angel (a self soothing one at that) otherwise I dont know what I would have done. Currently feels like my insides are going to fall out. Think my pelvic floor of steel was beaten by the ventouse and the placenta removal sad. Anyway I've stopped feeling sorry for myself and started thinking positive which is a step in the right direction at least. Big waves and proper catch up later as worried I may drop my phone in the bath....

AnneH656 Tue 20-Nov-12 13:03:07

hi bella. i just have the two children. dd1 is 9 and ds1 is 4 weeks. i am so bloody lucky that ds has really embraced it all and been fabulous with her brother. still, nothing prepares you for illness from older children when coping with a hungry baby. MASSES of empathy to anyone that has gone through it. i am lucky that at least dd is old enough to understand and get to the loo or bucket....

i must add that DP got it in the neck before he left for work. he said dd was looking better so i 'should be able to relax today after such a bad night' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! such a thing would only be said by someone that had not been left all day with a newborn hungry monkey that is our ds!!!!

huffle i must justify self slightly at getting dp to look at the crash site of my ladygarden (although in my head more of an allotment after vandilism). i have been bothered by m=numb area where episiotomy was and he suggested i had a look to reasure self. nooooooo way. then he offered and i let him. reaction shocking due to vaguely horny response, not shocking finding. men will never be understood. made me feel better although completely baffled by how people can let big scary one eyed thing near fanjo so soon and actually enjoy it????? only thing getting me excited at the moment is any night i dont see 3am (somehow 2am or 4am not so bad) and actually understanding a sentance Eric Bristow says on Im a Celeb.

oo huffle re mastitis - when my sister had it last year i massaged the blocked ducts for her while she tried to express. deffo recommend for some relief. it hurts while you do it but really works. my sister couldnt really get to do it herself so i offered. felt good to be able to help.

cheers to all of us clinking our lactulose/fibogel glasses!

AnneH656 Tue 20-Nov-12 13:14:13

bella me again :-) - how old is DS2?? sending massive 'coping with more than one' hugs.

i also have most time on my own. Dp is a driving instructor so works 6 days a week around 10 - 12 hours a day. only 5 hours ish on saturday but enough to mean that he can only help with night feeds and get ups on saturday night. he also could only take a few days off paternity leave so only had 5 days with him before he had to get back to work.

i am really lucky that i had AMAZING friends close by. would be nice to have my mum around. my folks are ok but live 90 miles away and are of the 'leave you to it' attitude. they only visited once for 3 hours the day i was discharged from hospital and havnt been since, charming. my sister is 200 miles away and my brother is in australia. DPs mum and sisters are v close but it is NOT the same. find myself just telling MIL all is fine cos i cant bear her whittering.

rant over. not sure where that came from??? just bit fed up. bit of family support would be nice.... i am def over tired. i dont 'do' sick so clearing up DDs whilst trying to comfort DS is not bloody Disneyland


Midgetm Tue 20-Nov-12 13:17:53

To all you fybrogel ladies in the house, I have weaned myself off by replacing with 20g of linseed plus (linola) on ny porridge in the morning which works better than anything for me as long as you drink lots of wine water. Somehow made me feel better as least it isn't on prescription...

Londonmrss Tue 20-Nov-12 14:27:43

Anyone know how to correct a forceful letdown in one breast only? My right boob is spraying milk. Seriously. Spraying. It's freaking out my baby. It's freaking mummy out a bit too to be honest. I'm thinking I should spend the rest of the day feeding only with the less forceful one and just express a tiny bit to be comfortable from the superboob so it gets the message to chill the fuck out. What do you reckon?
Am a bit bloody fed up with breastfeeding, like many of you. Why is it so difficult?

Midget, sorry to hear about your pelvic floor. It will be fixable but everything will need a lot of healing after the trauma.

Midgetm Tue 20-Nov-12 14:41:58

Thanks londonmrs I am trying to hold that thought.

I have a bit of over supply/ forceful let down too and found Kelly mom had good stuff as always. Poor master midge looks like he may drown sometimes....

hufflepuffle Tue 20-Nov-12 15:09:33

Anyone know if is ok for me to hav a temp of 39.5???? Feeling so rotten now, def caught early symptoms this morn! DH has gone out with DS to let me rest and he is calling GP. Flip me, this is mad. Off to express some more!

WantAnOrange Tue 20-Nov-12 15:14:10

39.5 is very high. Are you on your own? Call the doctor and try to cool down (strip off, drink cool water, dab cool (not freezing) flannel over you. Hope you're ok. x

hufflepuffle Tue 20-Nov-12 15:26:00

Off to GP for 4.30. Aargh!!!

OctoberOctober Tue 20-Nov-12 15:27:57

Huffle if ever there was a bf award you would surely get it, full of admiration in the way you have persevered. One bout of nipple thrush had me heading for the hills formula.

Anne & Bella reassuring to hear there are others finding it tricky to cope with two. Had nightmare scenario last night with DS1 and me both getting tummy bug and puking and t'other end whilst DS2 wailing and needing to be fed too. DS1 off from nursery yesterday and today, will have to see how tomorrow goes. I'm feeling a lot better now but hard work coping with 2 when you're not feeling great yourself.

Luckily my mum has been over, feel strangely guilty for this, as if I should be able to cope on my own, plenty of people do, right, including a lot of people on this thread. I know she doesn't mind at all and DP says there is no reason to feel bad, no point making things harder than they need to be but I somehow still feel like I should be able to do all this on my own. DS2 will be 5 weeks tomorrow and I still haven't had a full day just on my own with both of them. blush Feel a bit incompetent admitting that, although DS1 in nursery 3 days a week.

Zara or anyone else formula feeding - how have you found the transition from bf to formula? My only concern so far has been in the change in DS's poo - used to be several a day when bf, now he only seems to be going once ever 2/3 days. Spoke to HV and she said this was perfectly normal confused but cue loads of guilt over how moving from bf to formula was clearly bad for his digestion...
Also, are you following a strict routine or offering different sizes of feed? I am paranoid about overfeeding and have been tracking his intake which is at the top end of the scale for his weight, although got him weighed yesterday and he is putting on weight at an acceptable level. I have been pretty much been demand feeding him but wonder if we should be getting into more of a routine, even if the thought fries my brain at the moment...