Would you like to be on Mumsnet's research panel? We're especially keen for new parents (and parents-to-be) to join. You can sign up here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive on offer for your views.

Dec 08 Mums - Onwards and bloody well upwards!

(996 Posts)
Beans36 Mon 15-Oct-12 19:17:44

How's this? Thought I'd just press on with it!

ZuleikaJambiere Mon 15-Oct-12 19:21:31


McKayz Mon 15-Oct-12 19:26:57

Wonderful thread name Beans. I hope Izz isn't too bad with her pox. Incidentally Beans, I saw a film with your actor ex in a few weeks ago. I thought he was rather dishy and so googled him. His middle names are quite funny. I'd giggle at them all the time.

ZJ, we are getting DS2 a kidizoom camera for his birthday as he is always taking pictures using my camera.

DH is due home next week, probably the Friday. I can not wait.

Indith Mon 15-Oct-12 19:28:04

Good title Beans!

Is it jsut here or are midges bad everywhere this year? After school the park just turns into a massive midge cloud with the odd huge mozzie thrown in for good measure. When we go play we are just surrounded, if you stop flapping then you end up with around 1000 of the buggars crawling through your hair. I am all prickly and itchy tonight all over my body, I even got bitten through my leggings. Ds1 is probbaly the cause of all the "check your child for nits" texts from school as he is constantly itching his scalp because of all the big scabby bites he has, dd is covered in red spots and poor little ds2 has spots everywhere too. Evil sods. A friend who works came over the the park after school today too so there were 3 of us there trying to have a bit of a catch up while the dcs played but we all gave up and went home.

Honsandrevels Mon 15-Oct-12 19:39:15

Thanks for the new thread beans!

JamInMyWellies Mon 15-Oct-12 20:00:36

Brill title!

sybilfaulty Mon 15-Oct-12 20:02:08

Hello everyone <<waves>>

Can I just counsel everyone off the Kids' camera - if it's the Vtech one or similar. The picture quality is dreadful and the kids get really demoralised as the pics are so rubbish compared to the ones they take with our phones etc. WE were given one for DD1 which was used for but a few weeks til she got fed up with how poor it was, then for DD2's birthday we bought her a cheap normal camera with biggish buttons. Much, much better.

Here endeth the lesson.

McKayz Mon 15-Oct-12 20:08:30

Noooo Sybs, don't say that!!! It is all that DS2 wants. He doesn't want anything but that camera.

Beans36 Mon 15-Oct-12 20:11:57

Oh Kayz, what did you see him in? 28 Days Later?
Sybs, wise words!
2nd large glass of rose gently slurping down. Wibble.
Indith, no midges here, I'm afraid. Just the pox, damn it!
Thank God I've got my sister's old nanny coming tomorrow and she's brilliant, so I can get on with the dreaded cremation. It's going to be hell on earth.

ZuleikaJambiere Mon 15-Oct-12 20:14:05

How old was your DD1 when she had the kiddizoom Sybs? Having picked up some hideously blurred disposable camera pics today that DD is hugely proud of, picture quality doesn't seem too important to her right now

McKayz Mon 15-Oct-12 20:23:34

No it was Snow White and the Huntsman. Not for long just at the start.

Beans36 Mon 15-Oct-12 20:46:31

Aha! Haven't seen that.
DH home in an hour. Can't wait to see him.

RTchoke Mon 15-Oct-12 21:15:17

Balance bikes are amazing. DD1 ran her balance bike to and from school every day for 6 months, then when she turned 5 I screws on the pedals, took her onto the pavement and she sat down and pedalled away! No teaching, nothing. Easiest transition ever.

Jam, I for one am sorry not to have a pregnancy buddy. When did you decide not to go for number 3? Wasn't it part of your plan a few months back?

Re Christmas: DD1 loves craft kits, play mobile and Lego, so she is easy. Although she says she wants a dog or, second preference, a fish. That will be ignored. DD2 is all about dressing-up and dolls. She is begging for a Barbie which is something I swore I'd never buy. She is desperate though and now I am questioning whether I should stop pushing my own ideological opinions on her and get her what she wants. Hmmm. Have others bought barbies?

I was about to post the sane as Sybs about kids' cameras: all utter shite in my experience. Much better to get a simple "real" camera that will keep 'em interested for years.

Is it the funeral tomorrow Beans? if so, I hope it all goes well.

Beans36 Mon 15-Oct-12 21:23:11

My DDs both have barbies, much to my horror, my sister bought them. They love them, but be prepared to dress them for them as they're fairly fiddly!

It's the cremation on Weds. Us 3 girls and husbands and Mum. Going to be very tou. No hymns or anything, just a simple service. Big Thanksgiving on 14th November with big lunch do afterwards x

Beans36 Mon 15-Oct-12 21:23:43

I'm in charge of said lunch do. Ulp.

Rubena Mon 15-Oct-12 21:44:32

Phew Jam!
Agreed re balance bikes. I can't praise them enough. DS has had one since he was 1 and too small for it, then this Summer, got a new pedal bike. 20 min later and that was it - he was away.
To go from balance bike back to stabilizers will undo everything and defeat the purpose of the balance bike!
On Christmas / Birthday presents. DH wants to get ds a portable console of some type confused (pre owned or ebay etc to keep costs down) but we'd have to get them one each and make it for Christmas. I'm not totally convinced myself yet, although happy enough as they're very easy to limit usage of if it gets out of hand. DD might get a scooter off mil or us instead as she has monopolized ds's and he's not pleased. mil wants to buy DD the Ikea kitchen but i'm trying to suggest the scooter. We just keep thinking stop with all the large presents that take up space!! (drum kit last year from her!)
DS is all over anything Hot wheels related so that should be easy for birthday.
Kayz, 7 seats was one of our major considerations / requirements with a new car, as we get stuck so many times when family visit since no-one seems to live near us! That, along with obviously more leg room plus space for the dog. We will only put the seats in the back up now and then, but still loads of boot room and the dog can fit in when using them so works for us.
Great news for DH coming home soon!
Primark PJ's update : Tumble dry well - went back for more today! grin

SummerLightning Mon 15-Oct-12 22:06:47

Ooh new thread!

Impressed with all the famous exes!

I was thinking of getting ds a kiddy camera but the nursery staff today also said they are crap and to get a cheap adult one. However, ds broke our old digital camera a while back so dont want him to trash it if I get a grown up one. Apparently you can get protectors for them though.

Also agreed on balance bikes. Ds can ride a bike without stabilisers due to balance bike. His friend also just got on ds's bike and rode it the other day having never been on a pedal bike before! (but being very good on a balance bike). It was unbelievable - ds at least needed some encouragement and a while of us running behind him - this boy just grabbed ds's bike and took off! Funny as his parents had been disagreeing about whether to get him a pedal bike for Xmas as they thought he might not be ready for it. But they do have to have actually properly got into the balance bike though - ds has a couple of friends who have balance bikes but haven't really used them. Dd much prefers the scooter ( but we are trying to get her into bike!)

I reckon my dd would like a Barbie or similar. She love babies and dolls and all that crap lovely girly stuff.

Rubena Mon 15-Oct-12 22:33:47

DD the same SL - I have to enforce her "baby" doesn't leave the house as she would accidentally leave it somewhere and I don't know where mil got the horrendous lovely baby doll from! Might get her some kind of baby or doll with easy dressing capabilities! On that note, when are kids suppose to be able to dress themselves? DS went upstairs then came back (some time later) fully clothed, even socks all the right way on this morning, and the other day poured some cereal shock (only done that once and he ate it dry) admittedly I have shown him once or twice but he normally gets really annoyed if I help him with things. Not sure if I'm being really dim or should be proud! He often gets himself and DD a yogurt and takes her lid off etc which I got annoyed about as he hasn't asked, but just curious as to whether he should have been dressing himself ages ago or not as I've always just been in a hurry and done it really fast for him blush

SummerLightning Mon 15-Oct-12 22:46:45

I assumed they could have been doing it ages ago as all the girls in particular of ds' age get themselves dressed! Went swimming with a friend last friday her dd just got herself dressed while ds shrieked and threw clothes around. In general Ds is hopeless and refuses and procrastinates so I have to help him.

McKayz Tue 16-Oct-12 03:25:33

Rubes, I tend to dress DS2. He's fairly useless and I end up losing my patience when he hasn't put his pants on the right way on his 6th attempt. He will not put his shoes on for love nor money!! So I do that too or we end up running late for school.

Indith Tue 16-Oct-12 08:22:52

Dd dresses herself fine and has done for ages but before ds1 started school it was a bit of a battle to make sure he could do it himself and he still struggled with jumpers and socks when he started poor teacher on PE day. Guess like anything else they are all different.

We are all playmobil, Lego and stuff here. Dd likes her teddies and dolls and things but has shown no interest in Barbies thank goodness. She would rather have a dinosaur. She is such a little scruff msot of the time then all of a sudden she turns really stereotypically girly. Last niht she carefully put her cuddly Mandeville in her little rocking crib, tucked him in and read him a bedtime story before she put her PJs on for bed grin.

They appear to be mending the main road where out back road comes out. I was planning on taking the car to school ebcause I need to buy milk and I can't be arsed to lug it home along with ds2 and dd who will probably be grumpy and dragging her feet because she is growing big style. They had better hurry up so I can get out!

Can I ask opinion on something? BIL wants to get the dcs playmobil/Lego advent calendars but it would be their Christmas present. What do you think? I think it is a bit odd. No present to open on the day from him (how do you go about writing the thank you letters afterwards? But Uncle D didn't get me a present mummy! Yes he did it was the calendar. Bit that wasn't a Christmas present!") plus they build into a scene which is fine when you have somewhere to put both of them but we don't, so the bits will end up in the general boxes of toys so every day they will have alittle thing or couple of bricks that won't really build into anything. And we really dont' have space for the scenes, apart from the kitchen windowsill we only have one teeny tiny sill downstairs (yes our house is odd) and that will be behind the tree come Christmas anyway. Anyway I don't want to be ungrateful but as far as I can see he hasn't thought about it and only wants to buy them because HE wants one (same applies to most presents he gets but since it tends to be lego that's usually ok). I agree they are pretty cool but as the only present?

DeidreBarlow Tue 16-Oct-12 08:42:37

Beans I'll be thinking about you, your mum & sisters tomorrow x

Rubes Forgot to say, someone bought DD 3 pairs of Primark PJ's last Xmas. They were very pretty and have washed fantastic. A bit small for her now but still in good condition. I need to get some bigger ones for both of mine so Primark seems a good place.

DD was 3 when she got her first Barbie, in fact she has lots of Barbie things now that she has requested over the years but she plays with them nice enough. She is currently wanting Monster High dolls...I think they are vile!! She even has a Ken that resembles Justin Bieberhmm

DS sometimes gets his pants and trousers on but struggles with jumpers/tops...DD could dress her self at this age though. In fact she could do a lot more than he could. People say that's a difference in girls and boys although I just think that I treat DS like a baby still! Even his teachers say he still has a baby face.

Indith Yeah I agree with you, they sound pretty good but not as their present. You would have to explain that it is their Xmas present, even though its not Xmas (Day) and then by the actual day they will have forgotten all about it.

DH had a huge row with his Dad last night. FIL is 70 in a couple of months so we had all planned to go out for a nice meal sans kids. This hasn't been done since before MIL got sick. Anyway in a nutshell we had decided on a really lovely Indian Restaurant but it isn't cheap. BIL has said that given its sooo expensive we will all just go and have a main course. DH said it was cheap, it was his 70th, if just a main course no point in fancy restaurant just find a nice pub etc... The sad thing is FIL was all up for a really good night out till BIL stuck his tight fisted oar in and now we are going their like paupers!!!!

JamInMyWellies Tue 16-Oct-12 09:56:44

Beans lovely thinking of you and your family. xxxx

Tricky one Indith, but I too have refused the idea of lego or playmobile advent calendars as all the bits will end up with all the other playmobile and lego stuff. Never to be found again. Why dont you explain this too him.

RT we sort of decided a couple of months ago that we really liked our life as it was and that we have been able to do a few weekends away without the boys and feel like we can see the light at the end of the tunnel regarding little people. PLus the boys are such good buddies the dynamic of our family is great. I know a third would add to us greatly but for now we are sticking with 2. I think if we had had more time together before children rather than the meet get pregnant have baby get pregnant again really quickly have another then maybe we would be keener.

Rubes I am always a bit unsure re Primarni. Think its the way the clothes are made. I watched a doco about it a while ago and its put me right off them.

Christmas this yr we have decided to buy the boys a Wii U and a couple of games then do lego, art stuff and puzzles. Hopefully my mum and dad are buying the whole family pantomine tickets this yr instead of gifts and we are going to have a mass outing. Especially as my Dsis will be here for 2 months.

On the DSIS thing. She gets married the wk before DS2's bday and therefore 2 wks before chrimbo and the costs are spirally out of control. I dont think she is atall aware that the rest of her sisters all have children. Her and her DP live in California work for the search engine poeple and earn a fortune. So wedding is vvvv swanky. They are absorbing 60% of the room costs for us all but it is still going to cost us 500 for 2 nights accomodation. You can imagine the sort of place it is. Last night she sent us all an email asking did we want any spa treatments the day before. Lets add another hundred on to the day erm nooo! Ilove her dearly but she hasnt got a clue.

Right got to dash will try for more later.

Indith Tue 16-Oct-12 10:00:46

Families eh DB, love em to bits but by heck don't they just conspire to wind you up!

We've started the christmas saga already <<sigh>>

MIL is a nightmare at Christmas. She never, ever, ever makes firm plans so if you invite her she says "we'll see what everyone else is doing", or last year she half invited us with a "but we are waiting to see what dh's dd is doing". I get fuming, even dh has had enough.

This year my sister and her df are going to my mum's so we decided to go there too. All good. Told MIL at the weekend and said if they could let us know as their plans fall into place what they want to do, either come up her for the 23rd (dd's birthday) or the 27th or we could go to them for the 27th. So she asked us to go on Christmas Eve "on the way to Hull". Don't get me started on that one. It isn't bloody well on the way! It is 2 hours from here to Hull. It is an hour and a half to her house then an hour and half from there to Hull. Anyway fine. We'll go Christmas Eve because she says BIL will be there so we can see him and maybe his dw (nurse so shift work). Then we speak to BIL and in transpires that he doesn't finish work til 2.30 so won't be there until at LEAST 5pm probably later so we won't see him unless we stay for dinner but then that means getting to my parents late. Then she rings us again and asks us to stay the night and leave on Christmas morning. Erm, did you miss that part when we said we were spending Christmas at my parents house? We are not getting up, opening stocking and presents form us and BIL and MIL and then shoving the children in the car before they can play with them for a mad dash down to Hull to arrive in time for dinner. Anyway surely if we are spending the night that means nobody else can and they will end up alone on Christmas day?

Every single bloody year she has to try to muscle in on everything. SHE has to see everyone on the day and see them open their presents and see every grandchild as well as dh on their actual birthday and so on and so forth adn SHE has to buy the best present and will spend the rest of the year telling you why it was the best. Honestly every year we end up seeing her 2 or 3 times over the Christmas period and then 2 weeks later for ds1 and dh's birthdays. But because she refuses to make plans she often ends up with things not going how she wanted and then sulks. Last time we went to my mum's she and FIL ended up alone for Christmas day. They came up here for dd's birthday. My mum felt sorry for them so invited them over to theirs to join us all for christmas dinner and then after than invite was given she managed to guilt trip round everyone up (her dh has 3 children and various grandchildren) for boxing day at her house so we had to go too and saw them again. But she still bloody well sulked about not having us at their house for christmas. But the year she invited us we were the back up plan and then were uninvited hmm. So we tried to avoid it all this year by making plans ahead of teh game and she has still tried to get in on the act. I'm leaving it to dh to deal with. WE are NOT staying the night. We will get there around 10am and leave around 4pm. The children are NOT going to open any presents. I WILL have some distinction between birthdaya nd Christmas for dd and that means she gets her day opening her presents and then there is a day with NO presents before it all kicks off.

You'd have thought she'd get teh message. One of her dh's children lives a couple of hours north of us and doens't have space for people to stay so when mil and dh visit they stay in a b&b. They are staying home this year for Christmas because they jsut can't be doing with it all. We know that is why because they told us when we saw them a few weeks ago. They know that they are safe staying home because they won't go up and stay in the b&b for christmas.

Indith Tue 16-Oct-12 10:04:36

Sorry did I rant enough?

So that's 2 people who agree with me on the calendar thing, at least I am not being entirely UR grin.

Jam people without children really don't have a clue do they!

VagolaJahooli Tue 16-Oct-12 13:46:43

Blimey but everyone is chatty today. Love the title Beans.

I feel the same about a third Jam, Blimey that must be a posh hotel.

DS2 has been dressing himself for about a year but usually I choose his clothes and he has only been doing his buttons and zippers for a few months. He can choose his own clothes but that is because I have set his drawers and hung clothes in such a way to make it easier. Also he has a big brother.

DS2 has a balance bike but prefers his scooter. I'm not rushing him riding his pedal bike because when he can he will want to ride out & about like his brother & I'm not comfortable with him doing that until he is at least 4.5years, I've only just started relaxing with DS1 riding on the road.

We have decided to go skiing in Austria with my niece for Christmas, woot woot. Very excited.

Yay for DH coming back Kayz. SIL got DS1 a vtech camera and I hate it because it has games on it and I thought when she gave it to him he was too young for games. But he does love it because he can make videos.

Ok gotta go time for pick up then violin.

Honsandrevels Tue 16-Oct-12 15:30:16

Mmm I'm torn re barbie. I had Sindy, her house, horses and various other bits and loved it. It was by far the most played with toy of my childhood. I can clearly remember my gram buying me my first ever one. She was a ballerina with dark hair.

Sindy seemed more refined than barbie though! I've seen a tinkerbell doll in the Disney shop that I think dd1 would love so might get her that and leave barbie for now.

Indith I'd say thanks but no thanks for the calendars for the reasons you mention. Point him towards a lego set and suggest it presents better value for money.

LadyThompson Tue 16-Oct-12 17:07:21

Hello me dears

I too had Sindy, Hons. Loved her. My sister and I had a stack of them and they were all pristine. I also had a Barbie, and she had the edge for me as she was slightly more glamorous. I have to say, the girls already have a few of these dolls (not bought by me as it happens, I would have waited until they were older). They love them the best. Perhaps they aren't the greatest role models but hey, they have me in the flesh grin I like dolls.

I say, Vag, Austria will be very festive. Do you still need yummy central London restaurants? I haven't been to Hawksmoor (DP goes with his pals, ditto Rules - very trad) - what's the criteria again? The Cinnamon Club is indeed lovely, very swanky. I need to narrow it down a bit - otherwise I can think of too many lovely ones!

How was your trip to London, Kayz?

I agree with Hons, Indith. I have looked longingly at them in the past but as you say they don't seem v practical, plus the kids might be a bit baffled re: the whole Christmas present thing.

I bet your sister's wedding will be a blast, Jam (if a pocket ripping one), but phewf, the pressure on all and sundry for these events is mindboggling. I am going to a fairly upscale number next month which will be chocker with thin celebrities grin I am not even going to worry about that and will just try to have a lovely time. It's the one WG will be at. And no, I am not going to wear a white dress grin I have a green silk one from my thin days, which I can just about slither in to but unless I shift another stone it ain't going to look like it used to. Also, I am fretting about what colour shoes/bag for a pale green dress.

More in a sec.

VagolaJahooli Tue 16-Oct-12 17:26:57

Lady get your spanx on. Thanks but I think he is sorted, I'm not sure if he is going for Hawksmoor or Hestor's joint. He is a friend who works for law firm here in the Hague but he is wanting to schmooze with a couple of guys who have a firm in Melbourne that he wants to keep sweet so he can join them one day. They are in London for a couple of days so he is going over to meet with them. I'm you get all that lawyer faff with DP.

Rubes did you mean a tablet type thing for the kids?

LadyThompson Tue 16-Oct-12 17:43:15

Urrrrgh, how can it be this late in the day? Groan. I think I am going to offer up my life to science - cos it is a mystery how I get less and less done and yet appear to be busier and busier.

Beans, I hope today went ok sad I think a private cremation followed by a memorial lunch is a very sensible way to do it. Forgive my burbling on, but I know that when my father died it was nice to read about other stuff. His anniversary is coming up - 4th Nov - DH's is the 7th Nov. Both are bound up a bit with fireworks/Guy Fawkes' night and I could happily avoid all such events but both my Dad and DH absolutely loved that time of year so I am going to force myself to try to think of Bonfire Night as a lovely memorial instead of a depressing reminder of bad times. Well, that at least is the plan.

And by Jove, Beans, that guy you used to date is such a hunk. Cor. I have had the odd vague dalliance with the odd faintly famous fella. And DH was sort of famous! grin But I was once asked on a night out with someone very, very famous indeed. A relative of his was trying to fix us up. And I didn't go!!! (The guy was nearly twice my age, had a lot of baggage and I had just started seeing DP). We still laugh about it grin

Christmas presents - I am planning to get the girls lovely hobby horses. We have found posh ones, with a proper wheel on the bottom and everything. They get so many gifts from rellies etc that we don't go mad - they get books, things to make, bits and bobs. I am going to be getting DD2 some bits from Yellow Moon, for sure.

Rubes, I want to hear every detail of your Christmas table plans grin I am slowly accumulating Christmas gifts, paper, wrappings and so on. I do love it. I don't mind the commercial aspects, I love every element of it. How is work? Any further ideas about moving/staying put next year? DS is good to dress himself and fix his own breakfast - DD1 can help herself to chocolate biscuits if I don't put them on a high enough shelf but that's it. She likes to try to dress herself but can't manage tights, or certain tops. I also bought Primark pjs for the girls, first time ever, after I saw you in Reading! How weird! They seem very good.

Didn't you used to post on a Christmas prep thread, Syb?

How are you feeling, RT? Any sign of the nausea being on the wane?

I must do DD1's school application online, everyone I know seems to have done it. If she doesn't get in over the road, we are going to be screwed.

I am helping to organise the kids' Halloween party, it's on Friday. It's a massive fag and I don't even like Halloween, but it's a big fundraiser for the pre-school. I have a meeting about the new parish hall that's being built (I need to wriggle out of all that asap, I haven't the time). Thanks heavens Italian is cancelled tomorrow night! I haven't done my homework for a fortnight!

I was going to make a celeriac gratin tonight but I am not sure I can be arsed. It is lovely but grating the celeriac is no fun. Also, it's a v rich recipe and we always end up eating too much. I got it from my much used recipe book, The Low Carb Vegetarian grin But by heck, it's full of fat. Probably why it tastes so darn nice.

Must go because I have got to collect a load of logs from the shed and haul in a bag of coal. DP won't be home until 9.30 at the earliest. So I will be doing the job of about five servants, as usual....grin

LadyThompson Tue 16-Oct-12 17:47:21

I don't think Spanx will cut it, Vag, they'd show through the silk. Dunno what I am going to do, actually. I used to wear it without underwear. Er, I won't be doing that now but I need to locate a strapless, backless bra.

Or 900 rolls of tit tape.

Rubena Tue 16-Oct-12 18:04:43

Hi! Oops back in a min...

JamInMyWellies Tue 16-Oct-12 18:38:30

VAg I knew someone was asking after dinner places. DH and I have been to Goodmans a few times really amazing steaks. Actually I think the best steaks I have ever eaten. Proper yummy cocktails too, prob why the steaks taste so good. grin Also John Torodes beef place is rather scrum you can go normal fare or go top floor which again is fab.

Got to dash again, bath bed, babysitter, abandon children for the gym pick up DH on the way come home eat loads of choccie.

McKayz Tue 16-Oct-12 19:21:16

Beans I hope today has gone as well as possible. I've been thinking of you.

Lady, London was great. Exhausting but great. I did manage a few cheesey shots of DD in the sling near various landmarksgrin

Rubena Tue 16-Oct-12 19:38:07

Didn't realise the time and dh not home until 9 again... Anywho dc's opted for a shower tonight hmm so that was easier, Indith that whole bil thing rather odd. I would tell him you already have bought them for the kids grin and that it's probably a good thing as they will forget it was their present by a month later!
After Jam saying about Primarni, it rings a bell now and I think I've seen that documentary too sad shame, I may well have to show dh and then show him the Monsoon pyjamas DD I saw but can't really justify grin But Deids, yes they do wash well and are very soft! Wow that bil behaviour over the curry was annoying. Think I'd just go and then blatantly order a starter and desert grin Why bother going at all if they are going to be like that. My mum and also mil are similar, They look at the prices to order rather than the dish - nothing annoys me more, but thing is, it's not that they are poor, but rather spend major money on things that most people think is not worth it, then go and be tight over a family meal. Pisses me off as you aren't only buying the meal, it's the ambiance, the service, and the ability to spend quality time together over a meal without anyone having to cook or wash up!
Vag, yeah, but more a game console. DH wants another ipad but ds ain't having the old one. For now they just share it. They've truly learn't so much on it but dh wants to get ds more of a game only portable one ie Nintendo etc that we can limit, but I know there will be frowning at that.
Lady, LOL my table decoration will be not so intense this year only as I am also planning on having more control over the dinner rather than mil since my family will be here etc. I want to see if she can manage just being a guest! You're cooking quite a bit it sounds despite saying once you can barely boil an egg! Sounds yum. I haven't done school application yet either, but I'm assuming it's not a first in best dressed arrangement and doesn't close until the 15th January. Work - haven't worked since that training mid Sept as I ditched my trip on the 2nd. Spose to go on a quick one to Boston at the w'end though.
DS not exactly fixing his own b'fast!!! he poured some cereal into a bowl once and hasn't done it since! As far as the dressing, he's only doing it if he wants to go somewhere out and I'm busy doing something but is often getting me to dress him since it's easier. Re the house, we are staying put - phew and have until at least this time next year to make an offer so that's a relief as dh will be past exams and in a much better position.
What's the dress like?
Feel the same as Jam and Vag + extra about a third!
Beans, was it today? I thought it was tomorrow? Thinking of you all anyway thanks

Rubena Tue 16-Oct-12 19:43:26

I have ds in training reading bedtime story to dd when I'm late cooking dinner - is that bad? hmm

DeidreBarlow Tue 16-Oct-12 20:00:52

I've not school application either! Although I have registered...must doit this week.

Ladyt your dress sounds lovely. I do love a nice swanky wedding, though not so much with skinny slebs everywhere grin

Jam your sis's wedding sounds lovely (even if a tad expensive)

Forgot to add this morning about BIL/FIL meal situ...twas also suggested that we all pay separately for what we order shock. There will be 14 of us could you imagine the mayhem not to mention the sheer embarrassment of it all! Bloody ridiculous, DH doesn't want to go but as I pointed out he can't really miss his own Dad's 70th.

This is what we have bought DS for his birthday here

Honsandrevels Tue 16-Oct-12 20:01:57

Not at all Rubes, you are teaching ds the art of delegation wink

Beans Hope today wasn't too awful.

LadyT It sounds like you need a slip/underskirt thing. Not sure if you can still buy them! I'm intrigued by your potential date. Any clues?

DeidreBarlow Tue 16-Oct-12 20:02:54

Oh and another successful day at pre school for DS. Got to love those guinea pigs they have huge bribery value!!!

Indith Tue 16-Oct-12 20:11:55

LadyT would one of those full body things work in a flesh tone? Mind you I saw a thread on here about those a while ago and the joys of attempting to wee thtough the designated flap grin. I guess it will always be tinged with sadness but I can't imagine a more wonderful time for remembrance than bonfire night as you send all those brightly coloured stars into the sky smile

Beans many hugs for tomorrow.

Children all in bed. Woohoo! Fingers crossed for a decent night. Dd has been really unsettled again lately and ds2 is, well, a baby <<yawn>>. Dh is down in London tonight the lucky buggar.

Rubena Tue 16-Oct-12 20:16:51

Deids, that meal out related thing actually bothers me more than the ordering by price!! I bloody hate that split the bill a million time malarky! Split in half is ok I suppose if it's simple, but nothing annoys me more, and it is why my brother always nicks out to 'go to the toilet' and pays it as well as we have grown up with my parent's and their "attempt" to pay and or suggest splitting (10 ways) it when it's a large group blush Different if you all put in cash, but not right for a family do I reckon!

Indith Tue 16-Oct-12 20:18:15

I did school application as soon as it opened <<polishes halo>>

I did it then because otherwise I'd forget and there would be much swearing after closing date! Course this time around I just stuck ds1's school on the form and nothing else, rather easier to do it early without needing to visit anywhere.

We are very tech free in the house so far. No smart phones or anything the dcs can play on. They do some at school/nursery. I do wonder about getting something though. Neither dh nor I had games consoles growing up but then, tech is so much more rife now. When we were kids it felt like everyone had them but us but it wasn't true, these days it kind of it. Ds1 has mentioned wanting a DS for his birthday or Christmas but that is way, way out of pricerange for us plus I don't want to get portable stuff like that. I don't want them playing on tech in their rooms I'm afraid, that just doesn't sit well with me. I suggested to dh getting a second hand wii as a family but he isn't keen. Maybe next year.

Oh no poor James and his soggy bottom! I love James. I want to mother him and marry him off to my very lovely friend.

Indith Tue 16-Oct-12 20:19:22

DB the meal thing sounds mental.

McKayz Tue 16-Oct-12 20:24:12

What do you all give the DCs for breakfast? DS2 refuses to eat breakfast and demands his lunch at half 9 as he's so hungry.

I have recently tried toast, bagels, porridge, weetabix, cornflakes and rice crispies. All are left uneaten. I bought coco pops today in the hope he eats those tomorrow.

Rubena Tue 16-Oct-12 20:27:44

Indith, that's the beauty of portable - you can take it away veeery easily! And you're right, it actually is the reality of today and in the future will only increase. I think if parents avoid technology too much, kids risk getting left behind, but I do understand there is a balance.

Rubena Tue 16-Oct-12 20:29:33

DD mainly has either toast, ready brek or sometimes scrambled eggs. DS the same, as well as the odd bowl of dry cereal he pours himself hmm but sometimes if I'm having poached eggs he wants the same as me, but only do him poached eggs on toast if I'm not heading out the door!

Rubena Tue 16-Oct-12 20:32:57

if they have a big breakfast they have a rather minimal lunch though. Well ds mainly has a cheese sandwich or fruit but dd will pick then eat properly again before bed. Right, dinner ready. Rambled enough.

Indith Tue 16-Oct-12 20:39:44

Mine eat cereals mostly. Wheetabix, no added sugar museli or porridge on school days, corn flakes and rice crispies allowed at weekends. Have you tried pancakes? Little american style ones take no time at all to cook. You can make enough mix for 2 or 3 days and keep it in the fridge.

Does he eat breakfast type stuff at 9/9.30 or does he jsut not like it? If he'll eat breakfast later I'd just let him wait until after the school run. Some people jsut don't want to eat as soon as they get up.

Re technology I know. I don't want them to be left behind but then on the other hand neither dh nor I is particularly interested. We don't really have computer games (dh plays civilisation but that's it), neither of us has a smart phone, we don't have ipods, I got a kindle for my birthday but that is just books! Ds1 likes it though, I have lots of free books for him on it that he likes to read.....so I'm not going to spend large amounts of money just for the sake of it. I guess they get computer stuff at school and as they get a bit older they will learn to do stuff on the family computer for school work and the like. I should perhaps get a mouse though for this laptop as when they have tried to do games on the cbeebies website they have struggled with the touchpad. Maybe I'll get a mouse and encourage ds1 to do mini projects/posters and stuff messing around on here a bit.

McKayz Tue 16-Oct-12 20:42:50

Indith, no he wants a cheese sandwich and some crisps. Or beans on toast. Lunch type stuff usually. I might ask him in the morning if he's rather wait until we get home.

RTchoke Tue 16-Oct-12 20:46:30

Bleurgh, hi all, feeling sick as ever. Being a grumpy cow. I f*@£ing hate the first trimester. Trouble is I'm not sure I liked the next two much either.

I hope it all goes well tomorrow Beans.

Re technology and kids: I'malso searching for the right balance. I want the DCs to have enough exposure that they feel comfortable and familiar with computers, but I worry that gaming will damage their concentration spans and stunt imaginary play. So far DD1 gets to use my Mac and my iPhone but usually only to look at websites I choose related to subjects she's interested in/learning about. Some have little games (she is studying the Great Fire of London at school and I found some great interactive stuff on the Museum of London website, it's amazing the resources available nowadays). So far she hasn't realised there are consoles and really fun games, she is Year 2 though so it can only be moments away. DD2 has learnt all her letters using a phonics game I have on my iPhone.

Kayz - I have never been able to eat much in the first hour or so of being awake. Some people just aren't breakfast people, I'm not sure there is much to do about it.

No sharing the GBBO result, I'm recording it so DD1 and I can watch it together tomorrow. I love watching it with her.

Indith Tue 16-Oct-12 21:02:02

But you get a squishy baby at the end of it RT smile

I think you've hit the nail on the head for my feelings regarding technology. I think it offers great things for learning and I look forward to looking stuff up on websites with them, in fact we looked up stuff about the Queen for homeowrk for ds1 around the jubilee, but I'm not keen on games when there is so much else to do like Lego or the park!

I've actually shown dd stuff for letter sounds and over the summer used a free offer for reading eggs but it washes over her, she learns better with real things. I think she just sees computer stuff as like the TV so fun to watch but she doesn't remember it.

Kayz do you give him it? Does he jsut know he will get away with having something he prefers because of course you don't want him to go hungry so you give in? I wonder if a spot of "this is breakfast time you eat now or there is nothing until lunch" would work? You don't have to make that breakfast time first thing, it could still be after school run so he doesn't feel rushed but just be a bit strict about eating at meal times and not just whenever he wants. That approach works for dd when she has a meal refusal phase. Hers is more usually lunch she refuses but tough luck girly she refuses to eat it she gets nothing til dinner.

Honsandrevels Tue 16-Oct-12 21:08:06

Kayz Beans on toast is a great breakfast - better nutritionally than cereal I imagine! I'd give him a sandwich maybe with fruit rather than crisps. It doesn't matter if he is eating non-traditional foods for breakfast.

Indith I feel like you re technology. I don't want the dds to be left behind but I'm not keen on games consoles at the mo. I think it depends on the child. I know dd1 would be obsessed and it would be stressful rationing it.

DeidreBarlow Tue 16-Oct-12 21:17:30

I think everyone is right about getting the balance between techy and non techy toys. DD who was 6 in August got a DSi but also some dominoes, which she adores! In fact even DS loves playing them...that and a Toy Story pairs game which cost about £3 in Asda...brilliant!

DH is on the phone to his sister, they great meal out rumbles on!

Kayz, is he just not hungry first thing? Could he eat breakfast a little later maybe? DS went through a ridiculous phase of having dry cereal and his milk separate in a cup. But would always have milk on his cereal at mums house. One day I just put it on and said "if you don't like it, don't eat it"...he ate it...eventually!!

McKayz Tue 16-Oct-12 21:18:48

Indith, nope I give him nothing until 11 when he has lunch as he goes to nursery in the afternoon. On the odd occasion he eats breakfast I'll give him some raisins or an apple at half 9ish if he says he is hungry.

Mornings are such a rush here though as I need to get all 3 dressed and DD fed to leave the house at about 8:20. We get up at 6:45 and I then spend all morning telling DS2 to get dressed and eat his breakfast. I can't wait for DH to come home and then DS2 can always stay at home in the morning.

Indith Tue 16-Oct-12 21:31:18

This too shall pass Kayz!

I feel your pain, our timings are similar in the mornings. Things I find that help are: I get up 15 mins before the big children are likely to emerge so I can quickly shower first. They get up, breakfast. Clothes are ready for them. The moment the last mouthful of breakfast is eaten they get dressed. If they start pottering off and playing I am screwed, I have to get in there before that happens. Then add a bit of bribary, if they are dressed and tooth brushed and ready then they can watch beebies til it is time to go. I set out expectations and extract promises before the TV goes on that when I say it is time to go they will turn it off and come with no shouting. If they break the promise then they wont be allowed it in the morning. Making sure they give me the answer as to what will happen works far better than telling them so I tell them my expectations then ask them "so when I say it is time to leave what do we do?" and they tell me "turn it off and don't cry". (It works, they get used to it. It is a VERY handy technique and also good for supermarkets etc, I jsut have to say "shop rules" and they go "no running off and no touching".) During those few mins I can feed the baby. I usually eat my own breakfast when I get back.

Tomorrow is the killer, both of them start at 8am. Totally worth it once I get home though! Other days I have dd starting at 8 and ds1 at 9 we are all dressed at breakfasted before we take her but I feed ds2 between the 2 runs or else dd isn't at nursery so we don't have to leave the house til 8.30. Postively relaxed those mornings are!

Rubena Tue 16-Oct-12 21:47:38

Agreed re Nintendo and the new PS etc so im leaning against those a bit, but iPad / iPod touch etc means you can choose to only download educational apps for them if you prefer. I kid you not my 2 have learnt a great deal without being compromised as he still reads dd her story at night, rides his bike without training wheels / stabilisers and was put up to the next class with the 4.5 year olds at nursery, so admittedly, while he is partial to the odd lap on gran turismo or watching a few too many episodes of Bubble Guppies, he's only shown that he's advancing in all areas because of it. He does have dh's brains though grin so maybe thats it. I'm just thrilled he has learnt to add and subtract all from "Team Umizoomi" but hey ho. Just hope parents don't hold dc back too much in fear of bring frowned on as the children will suffer more than the parents. I'm not at all trying to big up my dc's just rather defend the technology corner. Clearly I'm the same with holistic vs real medicine however I also understand not everyone is going to agree with me!
Ok lecture over..... Off to stress over how many people I've rubbed the wrong way. See, this is why I mustn't ramble.
Sorry you're feeling rough RT

McKayz Tue 16-Oct-12 21:56:11

The boys love the wii. They have some Lightening McQueen racing games and some sports games. They also like my phone. DS1 uses to find out what planes are flying over the house and DS2 finds recipes on it.

ZuleikaJambiere Wed 17-Oct-12 05:56:06

Thinking of you today Beans, much love xx

sybilfaulty Wed 17-Oct-12 06:51:08

Sending you strength for the coming day, lovely Beans. Much love to you and your family XXXX

RTchoke Wed 17-Oct-12 06:52:29

Also sending you love and strength Beans. Xx

Indith Wed 17-Oct-12 06:58:32

Rubes I agree with you about the great apps you can get. I spend around £5 every 3 months on my pay as you go phone. Sadly I have yet to find a contract that will enable me to have a smart phone for that price! If anyone wants to enable me to buy a smartphone or a tablet so that my children may enter the world of technology then my paypal is scammerontheweb@yahoo.com. wink. All that stuff is jsut out of reach that's all. Which I guess is kind of what worries me. My basic kindle was kind of pushing the budget a bit present wise so even though stuff like the Fire is pretty cheap it still isn't someting we can justify buying.

Love to Beans and family x

DeidreBarlow Wed 17-Oct-12 07:29:17

Thinking of you today Beans. Sending much love and the strength to get through it all xx

JamInMyWellies Wed 17-Oct-12 07:52:53

Thinking of you all today Beans. Xxx

McKayz Wed 17-Oct-12 07:53:23

Woooo!! DS2 just ate a full bowl of coco pops! He said he wanted to wait but when he saw DS1 eating, he wanted his.

RTchoke Wed 17-Oct-12 08:32:40

Rubes - why do you think your console rambles will annoy people???? Btw I am hugely impressed your DS can add and subtract. Counting alone is considered good at 3. DD2 hears DD1 practicing maths alot. On Monday morning, when I went to wake her up, her first words were "6+6=10". DD1 corrected her and explained 5+5=10. DD2 screamed at DD1 for being rude. I intervened and said DD1 was right but DD2 was v clever to be thinking about numbers. That was the catalyst for a 10 minute screaming tantrum throughout which she insisted that 6+6=10. Sigh. She's not going to be an easy one to teach.

McKayz Wed 17-Oct-12 08:36:35

RT, that is a little bit funny. DS2 looks at the clock in the kitchen and says "1 2 3 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12" never ever says 4.

Rubena Wed 17-Oct-12 08:44:05

Indith, I get that, but you don't need a smart phone. I'm talking about ipod touch or ipads etc all of which you can buy pre owned or on eBay for a fraction of the cost of a new one and you don't need to have ongoing costs / contracts. You don't necessarily need loads of money for these things. I'm going to fund most of the kids presents with ebay sales / buying refurbished stuff if we go down that route. I buy a lot on ebay. I just won ds an almost new Zara winter jacket for £6.80 and it's £40 new in store and is honestly in mint condition. You don't have to be well off, just have to be smart about stuff.

Thinking of you and your family today Beans

Rubena Wed 17-Oct-12 09:03:49

Cross posted RT. Oh just because not everyone agrees with dc's using ipads / consoles etc, no matter how many times you explain that they are actually still doing puzzles!
I didn't mean you can ds can ask ds "what is 10 minus 4 and he says 6"! (that would be genius!) But if you ever see that show, it is a lot of simple maths stuff that give the dc's a chance to answer - all visual though, like "X take away Y = how many" (with pictures) some will say that's nothing, but he has done it from a very young age and it has helped him advance really fast as he's pretty good with his numbers & counting. That's not to say I haven't helped him too (I don't plonk him in front of the telly everyday to learn stuff) I'm just saying if he's occupied while I'm getting their dinner etc, it's not always a bad thing.

The kettle blew up this morning, 3 plumbers turned up early to replace the boiler at 750am, and they are now draining the system so have no water! Really want to go out but have to insure the car and wait for post and shopping!

Indith Wed 17-Oct-12 09:17:49

We might have to agree to disagree on costs Rubes. I've a window open now for ipod touches and even a first gen one costs more than I've spent on their Christmas and birthday presents combined. I do buy most things second hand anyway, tisn't a new concept for me grin. A wii could be a joint present but an ipod they would end up needing one each. Oh well. They chall be technologically deprived but I'm sure they will survive. So long as they don't move out of the village, then they can remain in our time warp grin. Mind you our village has fibreoptic broadband you know. No gas. some of the houses round here still have the sort of open fire stoves for heating water etc that you get in Beamish museum. At least ours is a closed stove so we are positively modern! Another MNer lives in my village but she is ona newbuild estate and has an LPG underground tank. She is outside the time warp I reckon.

Rubena Wed 17-Oct-12 09:32:12

That's not what I am saying Indith. And what's the price of the one you are looking at?

Indith Wed 17-Oct-12 09:47:07

They seem to go for around £60?

Rubena Wed 17-Oct-12 09:57:10

you can get them around 50 on ebay or somewhere like HMV pre owned. We often get family members to contribute to 1 thing like that rather than everyone buying them individual presents.

Anyway, your post illustrates that I am coming across all wrong. I'm not how you think I am Indith, but this is the reason I shouldn't ramble away on here. So I won't anymore, & sorry if I offended sad

Indith Wed 17-Oct-12 10:02:29

No no no don't misunderstand, you are not coming over all wrong at all!Sorry, I'm not intending to make you feel that way. It is helpful to know what other people do.

Would be nice if our family members would contribute to things like that. They never will though they are all in competition to give the biggest pile of crap possible to fill our house up hmm.

Indith Wed 17-Oct-12 14:12:19

Oh dear I broke the thread.

I wasn't trying to be mean or anything! Darn writing not conveying tone. Do I need ot go on a course? Include more of these smilegrinwink? <<throws thanks and brew after Rubes>>. Except perhaps not the brew that could hurt.

VagolaJahooli Wed 17-Oct-12 14:39:43

I'm not sure that not having techy stuff holds kids back, DH is a paid hacker and has a degree in computer engineering, but didn't own a computer until part way through university. Also I have a friend who is a computer scientist and basically is researching and building future artificial intelligence who grew up on a council estate in N.I. Having said that we have a Wii (love it), both DH & I have smart phones which the boys know how to use, DS1 has a childpad (mini childproof version of android tablet) and the boys use my tablet for puzzles and games (highly recommend the britannica series). My take on it all is that these things are now apart of modern culture, and as with anything as long as they don't take up all of a child's time then they are quite good. The boys spend a lot of time bouncing on the trampoline and generally running about, so having some down time is a good idea. DS1 also spends time reading. (By the way, Rubes that is amazing that DS reads!) My only concern in all this is posture. I do worry about how they sit when using consoles, and for now I don't allow violent games.

Rubes we watch those two shows but all in dutch, so we sing all the bubble guppies songs in dutch. Luckily they are simple enough for me to understand grin.

I also hate niggling over the bill. We are Veggie and I don't usually drink much or get desert, but it always seems to be the big drinkers who eat seafood who want to whine over splitting the bill. Once we spent 30 minutes trying to sort out a bill because one guy said he refused to split because he only had one glass of wine. He must have forgotten all the beer he drank and his seafood platter. It was precious to see his face when it turned out his meal cost the most. Too late then he couldn't go back and split it. Still it left a bad feeling having to niggle over it all. You pay for a night out, not just dinner.

McKayz Wed 17-Oct-12 14:51:45

We usually split the bill between us. So if 10 we divide by 10. I always offer to pay extra if the boys are there but usually people don't let me.

DeidreBarlow Wed 17-Oct-12 14:53:07

I think your right Vag, you need a balance between being on computers/outdoors etc. I love my nephews dearly but they are addicted to their computers. Lucky to get a grunt off them. It's all they have ever been on since being very small and it shows. They have no social skills.

However both DD & DS use our phones or DS just make sure we call time on it eventually. But they are a godsend for occupying them on long journeys!

Well, now it seems FIL is to pay for whole meal on his card and we can argue who owes what at a later date! I despair....

McKayz Wed 17-Oct-12 15:07:01

Deids, it might be more of a pain but can't your BIL pay for his on a separate bill? One of my friends did that recently as he was on a night shift and started at 10. So he asked for his meal to be done on a separate bill so he could just pay and go.

VagolaJahooli Wed 17-Oct-12 15:08:57

I should add I personally don't have a problem with other peoples kids playing violent games, its just they make me feel a bit scared, I think I might be a bit of a woose though. I highly recommend the Phineas & pherb game, DS1 plays it with his friends and it isn't just a game where they look at the screen and direct a character around, they have to interact with the person they are playing with and work together to get through the levels. I also love the dancing games.

VagolaJahooli Wed 17-Oct-12 15:17:48

Crikey missed a whole page.

That's nice that they are good with paying for the kids Kayz. We go to yum cha with a few families and we have different amounts of kids. We generally just split the bill per family as some kids eat loads and some hardly any so it kind of evens out. One of the dads who eats loads of meat and has three kids always tries to pay more but I know I physically eat more than his wife does & my DS1 nearly eats his own body weight in rice & noodles, so we and the other family always shout his down. I think he feels bad but I really think everyone would rather just split to save trying to work out all those little yum cha items costs.

DB in all this I feel sorry for your FIL, he just wants to be happy on his birthday, and I guess it must be hard for him with his wife not celebrating. The least his son could do is push the boat out a little on his birthday. It's his 70th for goodness sake, he shouldn't be getting his credit card out at all.

DeidreBarlow Wed 17-Oct-12 16:47:43

Your quite right Vag! DH & I said that we would pay for FIL, but then I got the feeling we were complicating matters. Plus BIL is bringing his twin boys (16). Surely he could leave them at home and thus push the boat out for once! I suspect his wife is behind all this. oUt was all sorted till FIL spoke to them. She is an odd woman but that's a whole other thread!

I don't like the violent games. They are so graphic with the sole purpose being violence & death. Horrid. My nephew was playing one time while I was there. I asked he turn it off or go to his room as DD was captivated and it wasn't family friendly viewing!!

LadyThompson Wed 17-Oct-12 17:33:35

Girls, I just did the longest post ever and it vanished. Weep. Hope to return later.

LadyThompson Wed 17-Oct-12 18:24:54

I am feeling my age today. I took DD1 to pre-school and also took DD2 and stayed to three hours (a “stay and play”, which you have to pay for but they should have paid me as I was basically another assistant and the kids all ran me ragged), dashed off to an hour long meeting about Friday’s Halloween party, then back to pre-school to get DD1, then home where DP was having a paddy about money (lack of) which lasted about two hours.

I made the celeriac gratin last night, it was worth the ball ache. Yes Rubes, I do make the odd savoury thing on the sly these days (but only things I either love to make, or love to eat). It’s the baking and caking I can’t do, largely because I don’t care to eat it. Tech stuff – I hate to see kids surgically attached to a DS or whatever, but as others have said it is all about balance. Which your kids will undoubtedly have because your DS is already passionate about cars and trains round a track, and there is no way he will not end up dotty about bikes like your DH grin Computery stuff is important and is likely to become more so, and there is no doubt it’s often educational. Like anything, it’s just if they do it to the exclusion of all else.

I think we have been fairly slack on tech stuff. Mainly because we are skint these days. We have one good laptop plus two which barely work. I am not moaning, I am grateful for those! The girls aren’t interested in ‘em as yet. DP sometimes shows them things on his smartphone but again they’re not that jazzed. I don’t let them use my BlackBerry because it is in a hideous state of disrepair and I don’t get an upgrade until Feb – also, I couldn’t bear the nagging. Am I mean? grin Wow, reconditioned iPads for £50?? Tell me more! I would like one for Christmas, as would DP (that’s about our price bracket at the moment!) What are they good for?

DP is more conflicted about these things than me, even though he is more interested in technology than us girls. Same with telly, he limits their intake and frets no end about it. I watched loads of telly as a kid, my parents didn’t once comment. Or tell me what to do generally. Yet I also read incessantly, played out on my bike, couldn’t have been more happy and stimulated doing a wide variety of things etc. DP’s upbringing was far more regimented and I don’t think it has worked as he is a terrible self-motivator and I am a good one grin

Indith, my Blackberry costs me £13 per month for unlimited texts, calls and data. Which is a v good deal but doesn’t beat your £5 for three months grin You know also that we live in a village sans gas. I find it a pain. I tell everyone we live in the Land That Time Forgot. You are good, doing your school application. I need to get a wriggle on as it ends in Nov in Oxon.

The dress is Nicole Farhi, pale green silk, spaghetti straps, low back, silk roses above the bum. Quite long. It’s lovely, but it’s a 10 and I am a 12. It fits, but……doesn't look as good as it could. Also, what shoes/bag? Black shoes and black bag (both sequinned), green satin sandals and bag (similar green), or silver bag and shoes. Or none of those?

Kayz – breakfasts – I am going to shock you all. DD2 eats toast, dry cheerios, bananas. DD1 has chocolate digestives on school days. Or dried fruit. Or occasionally dry cheerios. I can’t get her to eat anything else for love not money and digestives are wholegrain so I just think sod it, at least she is having something. Sometimes she will have Nairns oatbiscuits instead.

Hons – sure I can give you a clue about my potential date. He was in the most famous band in the world, he has recently married for a third time, and he did two high profile gigs this year. Yep – HIM. He must be a frillionaire! If I’d got together with him I would not have been reduced to selling my old pants on Ebay. YES! I have even sold pants.

DB, that’s nuts about that meal. How depressing! Thing I hate about not having money is not being able to pay for everyone as much as I like to. But however impecunious I was, I would never split a bill like that – such bad form! Especially on a 70th!

More later as I have to do the DDs’ supper. And then we are having Cabbage Surprise for supper. The surprise being that there isn’t anything else to eat with it except Quorn sausages which I am BORED of.

Lady I am a total dimwit as still can't imagine what the biggest band in the world is. Any chance of some initials? Also, your cabbage surprise sounds like something Baldrick would dream up. Sorry! Sounds like you've had quite a day of it, though sad.

BEans I hope you got through today. I've been thinking of you a lot.

Tech-wise, we are nowhere, but I am letting that come in its own time. We are also skint due to job stuff so kids will not be getting loads this Christmas but I am planning on scouting around on ebay and in the local chazza shops as I reckon there are some areas around here you can get a pretty good haul if you keep your eyes open.

Really good to hear about balance bike success. T is not the world's most coordinated child (mahoosive understatement) but is ok on that so will maybe try and find a basic second hand bike for Christmas and not bother with stabilisers.

Big news here - I have a job interview! It's for one I'd really like as well. There are a few issues though - it's not paid enough for it to be the only wage in the house, it's full time and it's based in Olympia! I'm going to go for it though, and ask at the interview if they're open to working from home a bit of the week - at least I'd get to see the kids at lunchtime and dinner time a couple of times a week that way. Thing is, it's the first interview either of us has got, despite applying for jobs every day, so I feel a lot is riding on this.

Also planning on launching my book next week. Eek!

DP's birthday today and he's ill. Feel like I'm coming down with it too. Kids been ill this week as well - it's definitely the season.

I do feel like I'm settling into the village a bit more - had a playdate this morning and afternoon. No amazing bonds yet, but pleasant enough people to have a cuppa with and that's a good start.

Sorry, that was very me me me blush.

Honsandrevels Wed 17-Oct-12 20:10:57

Wowsers ladyT! If I'm guessing properly that's very impressive! He seems lovely but with very bad hair.

Deids Bill splitting is such a pain. We have friends (a couple) who want to pay individually when their stuff was cheaper and divide equally when they've had steak and lots of booze. They never tip either. So embarrassing.

Spot Well done getting an interview!

Oooooooo, just worked out who it is. Gorblimey!

McKayz Wed 17-Oct-12 20:52:14

Bloody Hell LadyT!!! That has got to be the most famous man in the whole wide world!!!!!! Geeeez

I was well impressed with my Heartbeat actor hmm

LadyThompson Wed 17-Oct-12 21:14:01

Yeah, but I didn't go! In a way I wish I had (only to meet him, not to marry him). But his relative was very pushy and I just found it all a bit much. And I felt slightly uncomfortable with the fact that she had "told him all about me" (saying what, I wonder - I suppose that I was a vegetarian widow hmm)

When's the interview, Spot? Yay! Now listen my dear, keep applying for other things in case it doesn't come off. Not that you aren't fabulous and anyone sensible would be lucky to have you but it's all about ironS in the fire.

No cabbage surprise - DP has rustled up something more exciting grin

Hons, your pals....no words. That is excruciating.

RT - we are just about to watch Bake Off. DP loves it. I somehow get sucked in to these cooking progs.

Beans, I hope you have had plenty of champs to toast your lovely Dad.

LadyThompson Wed 17-Oct-12 21:15:29

I have got various other things to say to other people but supper's nearly ready. Wowzers, I am ravenous. Another busy day tomorrow.

Anyone reading anything good?

JamInMyWellies Wed 17-Oct-12 21:16:54

Bloody hell Lady that beats all my celeb stories

JamInMyWellies Wed 17-Oct-12 21:20:31

I am reading the crapest book in the world at the mo. But after a FB convo with the lovely Indith I have just downloaded all the Anne of Green Gables books.I am going to redevour them on my trip to NY.

VagolaJahooli Wed 17-Oct-12 21:29:48

Rolf Harris? Just joking, the only one I can think of is the chap who did the queens jubilee & the lympics closing ceremony, and he has dabbled in some classical stuff in decebt years. Likes ebony & ivory.

I love celeriac, looks so ugly but so yummy. What is the gratin recipe? Is it online? I think the silver or black, but silver most.

I have an 8 km race this weekend and I'm quite looking forward to it. I'm running it with the girls who I run with who have only started running since spring. I'm going to try to pace them up to a decent time. I'm so proud of them, its their first race and its a long one for a first. They have done really well I think to go from nothing to 8km in less than 6 months. It will also be nice to do a race with other people and it ends in a stadium so that's nice. DS1 has a little race too and it also ends in the stadium but I won't get to watch him because it starts just before mine.

VagolaJahooli Wed 17-Oct-12 21:37:18

Crikey how did I miss the last hours worth of posts. Must refresh more. Yay for the interview Spot

I snogged a guy at school who is now a sports pundit type person with the World service...that's it, that's all I've got. He's very sweet though and I was a bit jel when I saw a photo of his house now. He lives in Ireland now as his wife is Irish and they live in a gorgeous place in the countryside. It has a driveway!

SummerLightning Wed 17-Oct-12 22:05:06

Blimey what a lot of chat!

beans I hope today went ok or as ok as can be expected

ladyt wow at your near date. Super duper famous! Is is bad that I laughed at you being described as a vegetarian widow? I have no famous stories. DH says Cameron Diaz smiled at him at LA airport, the way he goes on about it you'd think he got to date her or at least snog her but no, he is very proud of it though, what a saddo.

I do think this thread has a lot of people who know more than average famous or famousish people. After all mr kiwi and mr wg are sort of famous, and ladyt's DH of course as well.

On technology stuff we let the kids use ipad and computer and phones and stuff, but they are not mega into it. We don't really do games consoles, but expect we will as the kids get older and can ask for it. Violent games - I have to say I was a bit hmm when I saw rubes saying that her DS played Grand Turismo. Then I realised that this was not the same as Grand Theft Auto grin, you know where you get to shoot prostitutes and deal in crack and stuff!
I quite like that one though...not so keen on Grand Turismo.

Blimey on the stingy bill splitting stuff, I hate that sort of thing too. Though I do usually just exact split it when out with friends rather than one person paying. And we always try and pay when out with my parents and usually fail.

Indith I am going to be the voice of dissent and say I reckon the advent calendars is ok. Well i would try and dissuade if it wasn't ideal for me (no space, and would prefer a proper present, etc), but i don't think it's THAT bad and if dissuasion didn't work would just put up with it.

spot that is such good news about the interview, good luck, and hope they are up for home working a bit. Cool about your book too.

Good luck in the race vag

Cabbage surprise being something Baldrick would think up made me larf! My friend used to make something called Cabbage Surprise from Annabel Karmel for her DD, and DH and I would always grin at it!

kayz on breakfasts, for all I moan about DS's eating, he will eat almost any breakfast so sorry can't help on that one! Literally stuffs his face with any cereal or toast. i reckon it's why he's a bit chubby despite eating badly at any other meal.

Good books, no. I am reading Ken Follett's latest epic as it was cheap on the kindle and it was quite gripping (but trashy) to begin with and now it's just got a bit tedious. I did like Pillars of the Earth but even that was a bit of a guilty pleasure so I should have known better really.

SummerLightning Wed 17-Oct-12 22:12:56

Oh I also wanted to say that with first gen ipads - be careful in that they don't support upgrading to IOS6 (newest version of apple OS). So gradually apps might not be so well supported on IOS5, and they will start to become obsolete. However, we have one so hoping it doesn't happen too soon! And for 50 quid I would get one if I didn't have already.

Rubena Thu 18-Oct-12 10:37:12

Indith, I don't think you were being mean. I just know that I ramble and it tends to come out not sounding like it's suppose to sad Ive always been paranoid about people disliking me or finding me offensive because of that.
I would never let my kids play / watch anything violent. It's just Car Racing around a track, nothing like the other game SL almost mistook it for, and he isn't glued to it. We had a 4 hour walk yesterday and he learnt about how the locks on the canal work - although A trolly dolly from my neck of the woods probably not the best teacher hmm
Veggie, see I've done it again. I didn't mean he can actually read the story, I should have said he "tells her a story" He gets the books (she always wants the same ones) and since he's heard the story so many times read to him, he knows how it goes roughly, and together with the pictures he makes up the words / story to her.

Beans Hope its OK

Rubena Thu 18-Oct-12 10:46:44

Oh, and SL, I haven't seen an Ipad for £50! I was talking about that I had seen Ipod touch on ebay & refurbished NintendoDS in HMV.
Lady. V impressive potential date. Remind me to tell you the goss I heard about his ex!
I have no famous dating stories, although my bro's ex dated Peter Andre before him hmm Big wow. Had to deal with an unruly Ms Winehouse once though.

LadyThompson Thu 18-Oct-12 11:32:47

It's me who thought you'd seen an iPad for fifity quid grin Darn, I wish you had.

And don't worry - your DS is into all sorts of activities as I have seen many times, and I am sure everyone else realises that too! I tell you what, you have flagged up how I need to raise my game a bit with the girls re: computery stuff.

Sorry, I wasn't trying to upstage everyone re:potential date, I just wanted to make you all laugh grin And no, SL, it isn't wrong to laugh at me being described as a vegetarian widow (quite a niche appeal, now I think about it) Anyway, RT snogged J. Donovan. That impresses me more.

Gotta dash, taking FIL out xxx

DeidreBarlow Thu 18-Oct-12 14:56:11

Ladyt, get you and your 'almost date'. grin. Sadly my famous stories only extend to some randoms off Hollyoaks when I was at uni. Ha ha, my phone just predictive text 'Hollyoaks' as 'bollocks'! Brilliant!

Oh Rubes I loved Peter Andre...once...ahem. Did I actually just admit that? Ha.

McKayz Thu 18-Oct-12 17:12:40

Right I beat all of you with famous stories.

I am doing my family tree and I am descended from William the Conqueror. Slightly illegitimately but still!!!!

Indith Thu 18-Oct-12 17:21:11

So imagine me this morning.

I'm flapping about the house like a mad thing because for once in his life ds2 wanted to feed at 6am so instead of getting up we ended up falling asleep and the next thing I know we are woken up by ds1 getting out of bed and it is 20 to 8.

Luckily dh is here. Dd has a bowl of cheerios tipped down her throat while dh throws some clothes on and they leave for nursery. Ds1 breakfasts while I gather my stuff for toddlers. Ds1 goes up to get dressed. I throw the dark wash int he machine. Note the DARK wash. The one containing the school trousers. Ds1 comes down saying "mummy there are no trousers in my drawer". What? What do you mean? The clean stuff waiting to be folded contians underwear, rugby kit and nappies. NOT school trousers. I can't grab a pair from the wash because I just put it on. I'm about to grab my phone and ask a friend for a pair when ds1 says "I know there are none because YESTERDAY when I looked there were no school trousers." Yesterday you looked? Yesterday! Have you looked TODAY boy?

<<sigh>> Children. Never believe them when they say anything.

JamInMyWellies Thu 18-Oct-12 20:14:20

You must all read this sorry its the daily mail bloody funny

Rubena Thu 18-Oct-12 20:46:06

THAT is bloody hilarious!!!!! gringrin

McKayz Thu 18-Oct-12 20:52:17

grin That is so funny!!

LadyThompson Fri 19-Oct-12 09:47:43

I did laugh at that thing in the Mail, Jam. Especially at the goats. My two goats were rather a pain in the bum in Oxford yesterday afternoon, and Goat Number 2 was appalling in Waterstones, chucking books around angry Although she is ten times more cheerful and relaxed than her big sister, she is also about ten times more naughty when she is in the mood.

Vag, is your race tomorrow or Sun? It sounds great. Good luck to you and your pals. I haven't done a 7m walk for nearly two whole weeks and I feel all stale and terrible. The celeriac gratin recipe is from a book and I will type it up later.

Kayz, yep, you win with William the Conqueror grin That is pretty famous.

Right, off to make a stack of tomatoey pasta for the Halloween party this eve. DP made 40 gingerbread cats and bats yest. I will be glad when it's all over. Yes, I am a misery guts!

McKayz Fri 19-Oct-12 10:41:04

LadyT your girls are beautiful. Obviously get it from their Mummy!!

One of the mums at school thought I was 33. I'm 26 sad I need anti wrinkle cream. Or Botox.

Rubena Fri 19-Oct-12 12:19:59

Yes - lovely FB photo LadyT - Kayz, unlikely! Wish I was 26.

A friend helped deliver a baby boy on a flight last night! See it's not only all chicken and beef! Certain training comes in handy grin

LadyThompson Fri 19-Oct-12 12:34:41

You look nothing like 33, Kayz! Some people are just daft (and bad at estimating ages).

Thank you about the pic. You can't really see the girls but it's the only one I have got of the three of us.

Wowzers, Rubes! Was the baby actually born in the sky?? What nationality would the child have? Was all well? Were there any doctors on the flight? Gee whizz.

JamInMyWellies Fri 19-Oct-12 13:00:57

Rubes thats super exciting! So does that mean the child gets a lifetime of free flights?

McKayz Fri 19-Oct-12 13:05:35

Wow Rubes that is so cool. I spent all my teenage years wanting to be a flight attendant. But instead married XH and had the boys. Don't regret them for 1 second but I still occasionally wish I'd done it.

Indith Fri 19-Oct-12 13:34:17

That is very cool! Probably rather scary at the time. Well done your friend.

I am very glad I didn't give my lansinoh away. This teething lark is NOT fun.

DeidreBarlow Fri 19-Oct-12 14:10:42

Wow Rubes! That is pretty exciting, although a little scary for all concerned too!

Jam that article is brilliant!

Indith, hope the lansinoh helps...ouch!

I have applied for DS's school place. On my when did they all get so big??! I'm actually a little teary about the thought of it. Oh well I'm out tonight for drinks with friends so I'm sure that will help me get over it[gr

Up to my eyes in job applications but wanted to say hello (also to keep up the post count so RT doesn't bugger off to an antenatal thread.

Lady, the very fact that you contemplated hosting said Halloween party means you are distinctly un-misery guts-ish. I am terrible at hosting things, I think I got it from both my parents who were resolutely anti-social.

That said, I am now up to my eyeballs in playdates, which is making me feel much more pleasantly disposed towards the village. Although if I do get a job that will stop sad.

VagolaJahooli Fri 19-Oct-12 20:55:48

Hello. I've got a new shiny phone and trying to come to grips with it. So have been reading today but not posting. Now I can't remember what I have read.

Oh yeah, Rubes, that is so cute he 'reads' the stories from memory. I think it's a good idea to have them help with their siblings. Apart from being essential to get anything done it makes them feel a bit grown up and special.

The race is on Sunday but three of us are going Amsterdam tomorrow and staying overnight down near Vondelpark. I'm quite looking forward to it.

I now have one more brush with fame. Bisou sang at the Breakfast at bondi thing in Sydney. Bill Granger was also there celebrity chefing it up. She mentioned on FB that he would be there so I told he to tell him I love his Lamington recipe (I used it recently for an international food day thing at DS1's school). She did meet him and showed him my FB reply and apparently he smiled. I like to think I brightened his day little.

VagolaJahooli Fri 19-Oct-12 20:57:16

Woohoo Spot get you miss popular wink

VagolaJahooli Fri 19-Oct-12 21:47:20

Kayz you don't look a day over 30 wink

McKayz Fri 19-Oct-12 22:20:39

Vag, I look 150 but still only I'm allowed to say that!! grin

ZuleikaJambiere Fri 19-Oct-12 22:26:22

Wowzers at LadyT's almost date and Kayz' ancestor! And another wowzer for Rubes' colleague-slash-midwife! I assume the little baby was early? Hope he's doing ok?

DB your BIL is just weird, and blimey, Jam's sister is totally at the other end of the spectrum!

Christmas in Austria sounds gorgeous Vag

I've been interested in all the technology talk. DD isn't all that interested at the moment, she'll play the odd game on the cbeebies website or on the iPad, but it doesn't hold her interest for long. I'm sure we'll have to address it at some point. She uses computers at nursery, so she'll no doubt be better than me in no time. I've been looking for a good phonics app for her age - can anyone recommend any?

DD1 has been attempting to dress herself for about a year, but has only very recently got the hang of buttons and zips. Good timing on her part, as I'm dreading the morning rush when I'm back at work, we have to leave at 715 to start the stupid commute. Eek

RT DD1 being right about stuff 'ten to two'

Like Vag, I say silver bag and shoes LadyT

Hurrah for the job interview Spot, knock 'em dead!

Does anyone know if it's ok to drink with anti biotics? I'm half way through a course (as are most of this household, so many germs!) and DH and I are going out for a delicious meal with lovely friends tomorrow night. I'm not planning on getting blathered, but a glass of wine would be a treat, especially as we're splashing out on a taxi too. The instructions in the packet don't say anything about alcohol, so would I be ok?

ZuleikaJambiere Fri 19-Oct-12 22:29:58

Oops, I have a half sentence that makes NO sense. What I meant to say to RT is that I hear her on having a DD who will be hard to teach. DD1 asked me the other day what time it was. Ten to two. 'No Mummy, 10 is 1 and 0, there's not a 2 in there'. You can't argue with that

KiwiPanda Sat 20-Oct-12 09:04:29

Gosh what a lot I've missed, need to do some catching up!

Vag I'm planning a family trip to Vienna! When will you be there? Good luck w race tomorrow, I've got one too - a 10 mile one. Hoping its more fun than my half marathon which finished me off for a week...

Can't compete with snogging famous people tales! I have however met a lot of famous people mainly in previous tv-working career. On which note, speaking as someone who worked on three series of who do you think you are, how on earth Kayz did you trace your family history back to the 11th century??? Statistically speaking I'm afraid most of the (English or French origins anyway) country can claim to be descended from pretty much anyone who lived in the 11th century. If you do the maths - person has 4 grandparents, 8 great grandparents, 16, 32, 64 etc etc. before too many generations you've actully got more g g g g grandparents than lived at the time grin

McKayz Sat 20-Oct-12 09:19:34

Kiwi, using Ancestry. You share your family tree and then use other peoples to find information.

RTchoke Sat 20-Oct-12 09:41:44

You worked on "Who Do You Think You Are" Kiwi? I love that programme. What did you do?

I have never had much luck tracing my family tree. Everyone stays start with family stories and folklaw but all my family are dead and I never knew the stories beyond the fact that my mother's family were Irish Catholic potato farmers who were mainly wiped out by the potato famine. My father's family I did manage to trace back to about 1850 and found them all to be scary fire and brimstone baptists, then I lost the trail.

DH's dad is obsessed with their Welsh family tree and has traced it way back. He writes and binds books for us that basically contain page after page of grainy black and white photos and text along the lines of "Gareth Jones was descended from Owain Jones and Gwyneth Jones (nee Jones) who were both descendended from John Jones who married Annie Williams (neice to Rhys Jones)." It makes my head hurt trying to follow it and I think the basic conclusion that has to be drawn is that they are all very inbred! And yes, sadly Kayz I too have heard the stat that the majority of the western european population have ancestral links to William the Conquerer and also to Harold too.

I love the the post count has risen so dramatically on this thread. You will be glad to know I have not been near the ante-natal boards since you all returned!

McKayz Sat 20-Oct-12 10:13:10

There are 4 of us now who have worked out exactly the same family tree. The first royal we have is Edward III and then my Mums Aunt has gone back from there.

DeidreBarlow Sat 20-Oct-12 10:16:18

Yay we have dragged RT back from the Ante-natal threads! Now don't go anywhere again...any of usgrin

I have to say I am losing my running mojosad. I am still going but it seems like such a chore and I'm not enjoying it as much as I was. That said I do feel guilty and sluggish if I don't gohmm

I have a terrible headache. All self inflicted, too much wine last night with my friends. Worst thing is DH has now gone off to work and I have the DC's to deal with till 5.30pm <sobs>, Hopefully, a walk on the park should clear my head.

ZJ, I think I've had a few drinks on antibiotics before. I have no medical knowledge whatsever but I don't think it would do much harm.

Beans, hope your doing okay x

sybilfaulty Sat 20-Oct-12 12:03:07

ZJ, i think it depends on the antibiotics. Generally it will stop them working rather than make you sick. Look on netdoctor.co.uk for the name of the drug and it will tell you what you should and shouldn't do.

Kayz, don't worry about your age. I am in fact old enough to be your mother. I don't feel a day over 26 and most days don't look a day over 73.

Got to go, kids rampaging. Beans, hope yuou are ok XXX

KiwiPanda Sat 20-Oct-12 16:48:38

RT I was an assistant producer at that point. Worked on Colin Jackson, Moira Stuart mainly and bits and pieces of various other ones. I ended up as the Caribbean specialist, hilariously.. My background is history so I did a lot of the original research. Which tragically involved numerous trips ..grin

Beans36 Sat 20-Oct-12 18:16:45

Hello! I'm here!
Had a friend to stay last night. We stayed up drinking and nattering til 2am. I am toooooo old for that! Then I woke for a wee at 5.30 and that was me done and up. Knackered. Mum came for lunch today, which was lovely. DD2 asked her where Grampy was and Mum said, "He's is heaven, darling". Made me want to cry. Still not 100% sure I can believe he's gone!

DD1 had a horrible fall today. She was hanging onto my finger, slipped and twatted her forehead on the corner of skirting board. She had a massive purple lump with a red line down the middle, but seems fine. Add that to her chicken pox spots and she's really not looking her best! Poor lamb. I cried when she fell. Horrific. Thankfully DH was back from his day with his mate, so he calmed us all down!

Need a drink now. Is it wine o'clock yet?? wine

McKayz Sat 20-Oct-12 18:48:50

Of course it is wine o'clock Beans.

Are we doing secret santa this year? Can't believe it is nearly November.

Indith Sat 20-Oct-12 20:44:01

It is always wine o clock somewhere Beans. Poor dd1.

I wonder who I am related to? The family tree was done on the French side a while back and each branch of the family was give the book with lots of lovely photos. Didn't go back that far though. The oldest entry was from when one ancient ancestor went off and brought a Spanish woman back.

Ds2 working on top tooth number 2 now having given us 1 night of half way decent sleep. My poor nipple. Ouch ouch ouch ouch is all I can say. Feeding has involved a lot of gritting teeth. Urgh.

KiwiPanda Sun 21-Oct-12 06:57:32

Indith my sympathies - DD2 is doing similar teething-related clamping with the odd bite (OW). Gets a firm "No!" From me followed by tortured-how-dare-you-howls-of-protest ...

Talking of family history, have I told/bored you all with the extraordinary tale of my aunt (my dad's sister) and how she discovered that my grandad was not, intact, her father ..?
I have a ten mile race today. Wish me luck!

McKayz Sun 21-Oct-12 07:18:26

Anyone know anything about this 4 month sleep regression? I'm exhausted. DD has gone from sleeping all night to waking a few times.

I mentioned it to HV last week when she had her jabs and she suggested baby rice. Which I'm not doing at 17 weeks.

I'm shattered sad

Indith Sun 21-Oct-12 08:58:22

Your HV is talking shit. Which I am sure you know already. Milk has far more calories that baby rice or anything else you could give so blah blah blah weaning makes no difference to sleep blah blah. Honestly that HV of yours needs some training!

sleep regression. There are 3 things it can be really. One is what is callled reverse cycling where she is so interested in what is going on during the day that she doesn't feed much because she is too busy so she makes up for it at night. The second is the old growth spurt so lots of feeding day and night. The last is a bit of a developmental leap so she is learning new tricks (you might not notice all of them, could just be her realising how her body works) so her brain is firing all over the place, neurons are making important connections and she just cna't switch off. She tries to go to sleep but instead finds herself practicing waving or something and when she goes into light sleep at night instead of going back over into the next sleep cycle she wakes up and can't go back to sleep. It is very frustrating. It passes but it can; last a while and end up rolling into the next growth spurt and teething and the next developmental leap.... <<eyes ds2>>. Your dd is such a good sleeper though normally that the chances are she will naturally go back to her usual sleep.

Indith Sun 21-Oct-12 08:59:33

this is a good website for sleep related things. I find the statistics on how many babies don't sleep through rather comforting too!

McKayz Sun 21-Oct-12 15:36:05

Thank you Indith. Yes I just ignore HV. I'm not sure why I actually asked her about it.

DD doesn't seem to feed as much during the day now as she was a couple of weeks ago. Also she sleeps most of the evening now and I always change her nappy just before I go to bed so I can try and feed her.

That website is very helpful.

Indith Sun 21-Oct-12 15:57:39

Have you tried not waking her to feed when you go to bed? For some babies it helps but for some it breaks their long sleep stretch and causes more waking.

I expect it will pass soon enough though just like everything else smile

The sleep deprivation is horrible though, especially when you are not used to it. I think it is worse when you've been used to sleep!

Rubena Sun 21-Oct-12 16:16:15

Just a quick one, but someone asked yes isn't the midwife / crew a legend! She did have help from a GP but I think he said the crew did most but luckily he was there at the end. Baby was about 28 weeks or something but cant remember for sure.. The diverted to Majorca. Gets nationality of Brit at plane reg there as far as I know.
Glad you came back RT that was a very naughty stunt to threaten another AN thread.
Right, I'm off in search of coffee....

Indith Sun 21-Oct-12 19:09:46

Goodness 28 weeks! shock How scary, he must have been such a teeny tiny scrap of baby.

KiwiPanda Sun 21-Oct-12 21:16:15

A friend of mine at work has just had (or his wife had) baby at 26 weeks. So so tiny. Doing well apparently but still, it's a long haul isn't it..

Kayz both mine went haywire at 4 months - lasted a while then settled down.
I think Indith has given great advice so just sending sympathy really! DD1 was terrible sleeper anyway but DD2 wasn't bad and after going crazy at 4 months settled back down into her "normal" rhythm again. I don't personally think there's anything you can do about it, but in a way thinking that sometimes makes it easier IYSWIM. You can drive yourself crazy with babies, can't you, trying to find a solution to something when the only solution is time..!

We went to a lovely Halloween party which morphed into a baby shower today. And I had a really great 10 mile race this morning which went brilliantly and which I really enjoyed so that was nice day. Vag how was your race? Deids don't lose your running mojo! It will be back!

Honsandrevels Sun 21-Oct-12 22:15:42

Wow well done your colleague Rubes. It must have been such a high pressure situation. When J was in neo natal there was a baby born at 27 weeks. His mum came to the hospital with her waters breaking and she gave birth ten minutes later. She had no idea she was in labour. Pre term labour can be very unlabour like apparently.

Kiwi I'd like to hear that story!

Kayz Great advice from Indith. J is having a bizarre sleep blip - This too Shall Pass. Like Indith said I'd try not waking her before bed or try lifting her and feeding her asleep.

McKayz Sun 21-Oct-12 22:26:10

Kiwi yes I'd like to hear the story about your Aunt.

I'm trying to do DHs tree as both sides of mine have been done by other people. FILs mum left his dad when he was born as her XH was violent. We've recently found out the marriage was bigamist and also that FILs dad married again afterwards despite them not divorcing.

DHs Gran is a very strict catholic and wouldn't divorce until the 1990's when she was told her XH could get everything when she died.

FIL has just found out he has half brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews.

Indith Mon 22-Oct-12 08:10:09

Gosh Kayz! Must be very unsettling for them to find all that out.

I gave birth to triplets last night. All of them came out looking very much like ds2. In fact i think one of them was ds2. So 3 20lb ish sitting, crawling babies. It was a home birth too, no pain relief. I think I did very well to carry all that lot around and give birth to them. I have earned an extra slice of cake today.

VagolaJahooli Mon 22-Oct-12 10:32:35

Congratulations Indith, gosh you must be tired after all that. More cake I say.

Kayz sorry about the waking, I'm with Indith & kiwi it will settle in time. I think HV feel they have to try to fix everything. Not sure who came up with the idea that a rice based cement would help, but lucky you're smart enough to ignore.

Race was brilliant Kiwi I was running witha bunch of friends who have only been running since spring. Two of them and I have formed a little running trio in the mornings and have been steadily getting them running a bit faster. They signed up to this 8km race and their original aim was to run the whole way. I managed to convince them they could do it in under 50 minutes so they agreed to stick with the pace I made them run at and try to do it in 48 minutes. In the end they did it in under 45 minutes!!! I was so chuffed to bits with them it was the most fun in a race ever I think. I knew from about the 2 km that they would do their time but from 4km onwards I could see they were going to do an even better time. I quite excited at this point so possibly ran a bit faster. Unfortunately in the last 500meters my breakfast ( I didnt want to miss hotel breakfast) started threatening to return so I pulled back a little so finished 4 seconds behind them but they both finished really fast and was brilliant at the end when I could tell them the time they did. I've been racing for ten years and that was the best race ever!

Boys on holidays this week but both sick today so quiet day for us. Watching prehistoric park on YouTube. Anyone with dinosaur crazy kids, this series is awesome.

VagolaJahooli Mon 22-Oct-12 10:51:26

On family trees, while working in the community in north London based at Belize park I found out that on my dad's side of the family my great great grandparent came from the area I looked after and I used to go past the church they got married in almost everyday. Sadly we all knew their fate before I had even moved to the UK as it was well known in our family.

He was an engineer on a dam project in Turkey. They had 8 kids and all lived over there. Sadly both parents died of the plague or scarlet fever or something and as was the practice at the time their children were sent to the colonies and given to families as children/worker's, so not officially adopted. The eight were separated and sent as far as we know to Australia & Canada. My great grandfather (according to family legend) was about to get married and had taken on the name of Houseden as that was his 'adopted' family's name. Just before his wedding a sister who had been sent to Canada found him and told him his real surname. So he got married with that name. However, as the Houseden's had been a lovely family and had treated him really well (some orphans in those days didn't fair so well). He named his first son with the middle name Houseden and so it has carried on. My dad was the first son of that son, & my big brother & now my nephew have not only houseden but also the same first name. It is all in honour to the family who cared so well for our great grandfather.

McKayz Mon 22-Oct-12 10:52:38

Well maybe it is over. She slept all night last night! I need to work on her going to bed at the same time as the boys. She will sleep next to me on the sofa all evening but so far wont go in her cot to sleep. She just cries.

Indith, congratulations on the triplets. grin
It has been a bit hard on FIL. All his life it has just been him and his Mum. MIL said he is finding it a bit strange knowing he has other family.

VagolaJahooli Mon 22-Oct-12 11:13:54

Yeah I can imagine it would bring up quite mixed emotions. Quite unsettling really.

Indith Mon 22-Oct-12 11:14:35

Hurrah Kayz!

Vag what an amazing story. The things people did to children back then without a second thought sad Yet how wonderful that he was loved and later reunited with his sister.

I too would like to get ds2 going to bed in the evening. It is very hit and miss and he still wakes loads. he doesn't always want to feed so it isn't a feeding to sleep thing, but he needs to be patted back to sleep or walked around. I can't yet pop him to bed and have him go to sleep so at bedtime if he doesn't feed to sleep I won't get him down until he is knackered and pulling his ear off and then can walk him around and he will go off and i can put him down. I'm just hoping that when top tooth number 2 finishes coming through we will have a bit of a break in things and we can get hom more settled. I don't mind feeding at night I honestly don't, but I could do without waking at 8, 8.30. coming downstairs because we cna't get him back to sleep. Back up at 10. feed at 11. Struggle to go back down. Back down at 1. Wake and patted at 1. Feed at 2. Unsettled generally between 3 and 5.30 thrashing around hitting me. Dh settles him at 6. Wake at 6.30 for the day. That is about typical for us! I don't get it tbh, he just really struggles to sleep yet he has always gone to sleep in a variety of ways so he isn't used to a particular thing (feeding, sling, patting, dh walking him around, even pushchair occasionally) but he jsut cna't seem to get himself off so I think he wakes between sleep cycles. When he wakes in the evening and screams to much we bring him downstairs he very obviously WANTS to be asleep. Oh well, it will pass It had just better pass before March! I can't even leave him to grizzle for 10 mins to try to nudge him into self settling because the child throws up at the slightest thing. He cries he vomits, he gags on food he vomits, milk catches at the back of his throat while feeding he vomits so leaving him really isn't an option!

I still remember the blissful week when he was 4 months old that he self settled. Fed in the evening, rolled over then chatted to himself for a bit and went to sleep. It was amazing. He jsut fell asleep wherever in the day when tired too and napped. It was jsut wonderful! Where is that baby?

I have wondered about putting him straight in a bed to see if that makes a difference? We have the side up on the cot because he is mobile but he does prefer being in bed. So I wonder about getting a bed (we will need one in a year or so anyway) and a bed rail and putting him in it? Then I can feed him in there in the evening. BUT he would be in with ds1 so if it doesn't work ds1 will get disturbed. Ho hum.

RTchoke Mon 22-Oct-12 13:12:04

I am feeling awful today, really quesasy and nauseated. Usually I can get into a piece of work and it distracts me but not today. I just want to go home and cry but I can't face the Tube ride and I have important meetings this afternoon. Its such a shame as I had a brilliant weekend and felt so good yesterday that I thought I might have finished with morning sickness. I managed to host an early halloween party for 12 kids and 12 adults, complete with homemade decorations and themed snacks, and I actually enjoyed it. Anyway, today is very different. Its D1's arents evening tonight and I cannot imagine how I can go and not risk projectiling all over her class teacher.
Veg - what a very, very sad story about your GGGrandfather. Sad but also heartwarming because he found a great family. Did most of the siblings trace each other in the end?
Kayz/Indith/Hons - your stories of non-sleeping babies scare me. I am not sure I can cope with all that again. I have been mulling over going for a much more structured routine this time. Maybe even, ahem, Gina Ford. The thing is that I doubt I have it in me as I am (a) pretty disorganised and (b) to scared of cot death to leave a baby alone in a room for 12 hours at night + 4 hours of naps a day. The reason I am considering it is that a good friend had her third 12 weeks ago. She had not done routines before but after teh first week with no. 3 she was finding he chaos was too much so she started following GF. Her son was only a week old and I think therefore almost too young to cry loads when put down, although i think she left him to whimper a bit she certainly did not have to leave him screaming. Anyway he took to it and by 6 weeks he was sleeping through except for a dream feed and now at 12 weeks he does 12 hours undisturbed all night, an hour in teh mornings, two hours over lunch and a 45 min nap at 4pm. In between he is the calmest smiliest baby and her whole family is ticking along so happily. She has done all that while exclusively breastfeeding. It is a dream really. Maybe GF does not deserve the credit, maybe the boy was always going to be amazing, but if GF might be the reason then maybe I should give it a go. Controversial I know. Most of mumsnet would probably have me shot for even entertaining such a thought.

VagolaJahooli Mon 22-Oct-12 13:38:54

RT I did the put them down 90Mins after they last woke up thing when ds2 was newborn, I think Beans suggested it, & it worked a treat. He always happily settledoff to sleep well in his little hammock cot and somehow when I put him down after his bath @ around 6 he would sleep for the night then (apart from feeds). Obviously this is harder to do if you have school drop offs etc to consider. If I had to put him down over a drop off time I would sling him for the walk to dS1's school. I guess it was a kind of an enforced routine but I certainly didn't force him to goto sleep he just did. Apparently if you wait until they show signs of being tired it's too late. That is where I think I went wrong with ds1.

VagolaJahooli Mon 22-Oct-12 13:43:56

Indith as far as I know only the sister onlythe one brother. But when I was in Gallipoli visitng the war memorials, I was looking at the Australian senitaph which had names of missing soldiers presumed dead. One them had a double barrelled surname with my surname so I wandered if he may have been one of the brothers as my grandfather used both surnames in this way until he died.

Indith Mon 22-Oct-12 14:11:09

RT don't beat yourself up.

A friend did Gina from day 1 with all of hers. I must say though there was a fair bit of screaming involved. They are all different though. You could set your watch by ds1 and he merrily went to bed awake from around 7/8 weeks old and dropped off and could be put down for naps etc a bit later on. Dd screamed to sleep but there were other issues there. Ds2 has just been messed up by school runs I think, It just has not ever worked out timings wise. If he has fallen asleep at home I've had to wake him or try to bundle him into a sling or car without waking and so on and so forth. My friend though has both her older ones at school so gets the full day at home with the baby and he sleeps like a dream, it is the nursery pick up in teh middle that screws it up!

They are all different though. As Vag said the 90 min thing is the key and that is kind of waht Gina is based on, it is about watching your baby and getting to know their cues and putting them down at the right times. Some will slot into routines and be like clockwork, others will vary more but if oyu get to know their cues you can still get tehm down when they need it. Ds2 varies, I know his cues, he just is usually tired at exactly the wrong times! Someone once said to me that routines are fine. Routines are great. It is when you attempt a schedule that you will start getting frustrated. So routine is "nap 90 mins after waking. Bath, story and feed before bed." but schedule is "7am wake up, nap at 8.30. Bath at 6.30pm feed at 6.45 bed by 7." you need to build the flexibility in there. Ds2 has a routine, once he is in pjs and grobag he is desperate for his bedtime feed, he certainly knows what is coming! I just wish he would stay asleep once he is asleep!

You will be fine smile

We have yet another party invite. Argh! This one is a triple party. Triple! I need to remortgage the house, we are up to 6 children to buy presents for now.

Beans36 Mon 22-Oct-12 14:17:58

It was me! Hurray! I suggested something useful for once! I did Rachel Waddilove, who I found absolutely brilliant and more flexible than GF. And just slotted into putting either little down after 1.5-2 hrs of awake time. It worked really well, although a bit harder with 2 others doing school etc, but I'm sure the third just has to learn to sleep in other places than just their pram or cot! I did do some ignoring of them crying when I had to get things done with DD2 and just couldn't get on with anything! But she learnt to go to sleep on her own, which I think is bloody brilliant! I only have 2, though, so no idea about 3! But do have a look at Rachel Waddilove.

HOpe you feel better soon. I am totally zonked today, despite having my first proper 8 hours sleep since Dad died.

I am really struggling to like our puppy though, which is no good. Sure she'll grow on me, but it's such bloody hard work! And I don't love her like I did the girls, so I felt I could put up with a lot more from them!

Rubena Mon 22-Oct-12 17:53:48

just back from Boston, skimmed and caught the tail end of someone having triplets but I hazard a guess it's part of a joke I didn't see or I have missed a few threads! hmm
Good you're finally getting sleep Beans. Things will be much better with the puppy when she is TT, honestly. Your girls got the TT really quick so this probably seems much harder!
Right, dinner to sort, wine to consume, will try and get back.

VagolaJahooli Mon 22-Oct-12 19:51:31

I think the triplets were a dream Rubes. The dream then extended to requiring sustenance in the form of cake.

Sorry about the puppy Beans. I haven't had to deal with a puppy since having children & both the cats we have had were house trained when we got them. I can say I found the extra effort required to give the animals the attention they needed was not appreciated at all, when I already had children & husband to devide my time between. But eventually they grew on me. Marshmallow, now is settled into our family and has found her place and we couldnt imagine our house without her. Don't feel bad, it is bloody annoying but you will fall for the puppy eventually, though it may no longer be a puppy by that time. Don't forget it has just lost its mummy & brothers & sisters, so it's bound to feel a bit bereft itself. Poor pickle.

Indith Mon 22-Oct-12 19:53:25

I had a dream about having triplets. Great big triplets that all came out the same age as ds2. I thought I should eat cake to recover grin.

Beans I hope the puppy sttles in with a bit of time.

JamInMyWellies Mon 22-Oct-12 20:11:19

Beans I went through the exact same thing with our pooch when we got him.

Are you crate training him? If so did you buy a massive crate for him to grow into? If you did you need to make it smaller for him until he grows a bit. This means he will not pee or poo in it and he will feel a bit more secure. Also wear an old t shirt get your scent on it and wrap it round his bedding so that he can smell you.

It is bloody hard work for a few weeks they are like babies.

I assume he has had all his jabs now and you can walk him? This will help.Also find a local trainer and get to puppy classes, get him well socialised with other dogs. Do you have any friends with dogs? I often take Louis out for a walk with a friend and her dog. We can gossip to our hearts content and the dogs try to hump each other play.

JamInMyWellies Mon 22-Oct-12 20:15:00

Oh I also put a blanket over the cage at night to make it super dark in there. A bit like when I crack den'd DS2 bedroom to keep him asleep. It worked for the dog but not the child. grin

Honsandrevels Mon 22-Oct-12 20:31:54

Ooh I do want a dog one day. I shall listen to all the advice and live through others for now!

My theory re routines vs baby led whatever is that a proportion of babies love routines, another third want to plough their own way and the other third can't decided what they want! No one plan works for all and it really depends on the baby. Hope you feel brighter soon RT. Having 'good' days is an excellent sign you are turning the nausea corner.

Nigella's on. I've had two bowls of cornflakes for tea. I'm going to be so hungry watching this!

Rubena Mon 22-Oct-12 21:13:35

Exactly what Jam said Beans - we did all that with ours, and yeah, don't forget the little thing has just been separated from it's Mummy and siblings where they all huddled together - but obviously you have to vent - it can be bloody tedious, even without kids to look after as well!

Update on the seat belt undoing I meant to say ages ago - she just suddenly stopped doing it and then I started really praising her when she would ask me after I turned the engine off, if she could undo it, and she is really thrilled with herself! grin so far at least.......

DeidreBarlow Tue 23-Oct-12 09:17:51

That's why I got guinea pigs...no training involved! I can barely control the DCs let alone a dog grin

Rubes good news on the car seat.

Indith have you named them babies yet??!

McKayz Tue 23-Oct-12 09:32:11

Beans, yup we did exactly the same as Jam. Gresley still goes in his crate now if the boys are being too loud. The poor thing is having his bits chopped off soon.

Hons, if/when you get a dog, do not get it in winter. Gresley came home on 10th December and it was horrible doing toilet training in the snow. If we have another it'll be coming in summer.

Indith Tue 23-Oct-12 09:48:37

grin I can't name the babies! Finding one more name for a boy was bad enough, I cna't do another 3!

I could never have a dog. The training, the walking, teh need to play with them. The way they come up to you all puppy eyed and pathetic going "play with me play with me!". Nope, i get enough of that with the children. Give me a cat any day, toilet train them selves and generaly ignore you apart form teh odd demand for a tummy rub.I like cats.

My children are exhausted and neeeeed half term. Poor ds1 is having toilet blips again. Wet himself yesterday, wet the bad last night but didn't wake up, I woke him this morning and found him fast asleep in a soggy bed and then soiled on teh way to school. The poor boy were about 30 seconds away from the gates when he went "I need a poo! It's coming now!" and started to cry sad. Good job school are lovely and we had him all sorted in no time. Going to be a long last week!

McKayz Tue 23-Oct-12 10:14:14

Poor DS1 Indith sad this term seems to have gone on forever.

Indith Tue 23-Oct-12 10:48:26

Another accident at school, white as a sheet, crying. He has been brought home by one of the TAs. Done a massive poo and says his tummy feels better after than but he has gone to bed.

VagolaJahooli Tue 23-Oct-12 14:48:34

Gosh Indith poor little guy, maybe it was so big it hurt him. Though sounds like he my have a bug if he has gone to bed. Does he usually nap at this time?

I have just pulled up all my veggie plants chucked some and put some in my shiny new compost bins. My veg garden was all potted or grow bag based so I'm tipping all the soil into the compost bins which are sitting over my two larger gardenbeds, which themselves are over the pavers. I still had some of my tomatoes going red but it's going to be freezing by the end of the week so wanted to get as much of the work done before I freeze my fingers off trying to do it

Indith Tue 23-Oct-12 14:53:50

That sounds productive Vag!

"Does he normally nap at that time?" Er no he is normally at school smile

He's ok, he is shattered that's all, nearly half term though! When shattered he tends to regress a little on the toilet front so I expect he was holding it in and then of course upset himself with the accidents and didn't realise what the tummy ache meant (that he needed to go). So he is fine now, done a slightly urgent and a bit loose poo on the loo since which is fairly normal after a spot of witholding. Just hope he is normal now for the rest of the day so he can go to school tomorrow. I shall be nice to him though and we'll skip breakfast club and I'll take him in the car rather than walking.

They are watching more TV now because they've been driving me mad wrestling and making a mess and generally misbehaving.

DeidreBarlow Tue 23-Oct-12 15:42:57

Oh indith, poor little man. Hope he's better for tomorrow.

DS is dreadful for wetting himself at pre school. I dare not think what he will be like at school. I know he's got a year before then but all he ever says is "Im busy mummy" BTW, anyone's Dec 08 baby still in pull ups at night? I can't ever see they DS will be dry at night!!

DeidreBarlow Tue 23-Oct-12 15:44:05

when DS will be dry at night...and they are a long way from babies now too!

Indith Tue 23-Oct-12 15:57:38

Oh gosh yes DB, dd still wears a nappy at night and has to be bribed with stickers to bother going to the loo in the day! Just one sticker per day mind you. Being dry at night is hormonal and the normal age to produce the right hoemone is anywhere up to 7 so there are a few years left before it becomes a medical concern! Ds1 only ditched the night nappies this last summer so aged 5 and a half.

McKayz Tue 23-Oct-12 16:14:43

DS1 was the same as Indith's DS1, he has just started being dry at night at 5 and a half. Every night last week he woke me up as he had wet the bed. DS2 is still in nappies at night and they are soaked in the morning.

DeidreBarlow Tue 23-Oct-12 16:25:46

Yeah DS's are very wet. The other day he even poo'd in it at some point in the night...minging!

It's hard to know what's what because DD basically TT herself at 2, and has been dry at night since shortly after! Although I'm aware that's not common.

SummerLightning Tue 23-Oct-12 21:25:34

Hello all, so much chat on here at the moment, nice!

I was going to ask about the pull ups at night as DS also still wears them and is usually wet in the morning. I am not going to even try yet, as he was a nightmare to TT in the first place. (Rubes, TT still means Time Trial to me!) Next will be DD but I am putting that off too, even though I think she will be easier.

Poor DS indith

beans hope the puppy gets easier soon. He does look super cute. How could you not love him? grin (that's cos he's not shitting all over my house). Actually I am with Indith, really really don't ever want a dog. DH does however. It was him who wanted the kids most too! He won on that one, I am holding out for the forseeable on the dog.

RT I would try Gina if you fancy it. You are experienced enough with babies to not stress out too much if it doesn't work out and just accept it didn't suit. I have a friend who did it, and her baby barely cried, there was no screaming, slept through from about 6 weeks I think. Robot Baby. She was really really strict about it though, which I would have found tedious. Her second was not so compliant either, which may be cos she couldn't adhere so rigidly to it, or could be cos he is harder work (I suspect the latter)
I think the bad thing about GF is that people get so committed to trying to make it work and it stresses out poor new parents, as it clearly doesn't work with all babies.

RTchoke Wed 24-Oct-12 08:22:14

DD2 is still in pull ups at night. We had to buy the expensive ones for older kids as she is sowet that anything else leaks. And to add to the horror she poos in the night about once every 10 days. She never nas accidents in the day though. I think she is on the late side for night training a girl, I know lots of little boys aged 4 and above who wear night vapours but v few girls. I'm not sure I totally buy in to the idea that you can't push night training as it's biological. DD1 was sopping wet every night aged 3 and I told her it was time to stop, made a sticker chart and removed her nappy and hey presto it was done. She had about one accident ever. But she's that sort of child, DD2 isn't.

No sickness yesterday after horrible Monday but feeling iffy as I sit on the Tube now. At least there is occassional respite.

Where is Trace??? Have we heard from her since her move and since L started her new school?

RTchoke Wed 24-Oct-12 08:24:46

Vapours? How can an iPhone make vapours from nappies?

Rubena Wed 24-Oct-12 09:00:16

I was thinking that night "vapours" was some kind of new thing you plug in at night to give off a scent to remind the child to wake up and use the toilet grin
DS in nighttime Pull ups. usually a few wees in there Sometimes more sometimes less. Only dry once.
Fingers crossed for an ill free day RT

Rubena Wed 24-Oct-12 09:23:53

Conversation over breakfast just now.....
DS: "Mummy are you going to have a baby?"
ME: "No, mummies already had all her babies, why did you ask that?"
DS: " uuummmm, I don't know" When I was little I fitted in your tummy didn't I?"
ME: "yes DS you did but you are too big now to fit"
DS" yes there's no room there, your tummy is a bit little for me. Your boobies are little too aren't they Mummy"
ME: pmsl "yes they are a bit"
DS: Hmmm Charlotte (at nursery) is having a baby, and it's going to come out between her legs"

McKayz Wed 24-Oct-12 09:33:27

Rubes, that is a great conversation. DS1 keeps telling me I have a fat tummy.

DD has slept for the past 3 nights so I think asking you all for advice has solved the problem!

Indith Wed 24-Oct-12 09:48:27

grin don't you just love children smile

Dd is mad about babies being in my tummy. She says she wasn't lonely when she was in my tummy because she had ds1 and ds2 to keep her company smile

RT I guess it depends on when they wee, if they do it before going to sleep or when they wake up because they know they have a nappy on but can't be arsed getting up then you can go cold turkey but if they wee while asleep then it is different. I expect my dd could be dry but with 2 flights of stairs between her and the bathroom I'm waiting to see if she gets to the point she wants to do it herself! Ds1 used ot be sopping, we had to buy expensive pampers and lift him when we went to bed otherwise he owuld leak. He would wee while asleep and jsut not wake up. He tried going without at one point a few months before he actually cracked it and he just wet the bed but didn't wake up so we'd find him all cold and wet in the morning.

Top tooth 2 nearly all the way through. Goodness but I need sleep. I saw bits and bobs of every bloody hour last night except 4am.

VagolaJahooli Wed 24-Oct-12 11:50:23

Good morning ladies I have a house full of boys and am sat with my coffee watching them demolish my house. Gotta love boys.
Ds1 wore very absorbent pull ups until he was 4.5 years. Ds2 never used pull ups but he started wetting couple of times a week when he was around 3 so we just get them both to do a wee in a little potty insert pot thing we have by their bed. Ds1 doesn't really need to anymore but dS2 always wees loads. Occasionally when he is really tired dS2 wets at around 6am otherwise he just does a wee as soon as he wakes up. I think with both it was just deep sleep. I had the same until I was about 7-8 I think. I have heard of people having success with star charts. I just know it didn't help me, & I assume it's hereditary. I think it helps that I know it stops eventually. I have a friend who is quite stressed by it and is trying everything. I think it bothers DH a bit too.

Rubes you made me laugh out loud at your comment on FB this morning. That is exactly what I was thinking. Bloody run app. My little running partners where a bit tired and after I managed to push themselves to run out of their skin on Sunday I couldn't scrape much more than a jog this morning. Although I was happy, that same run they used to do as a slow run in 35mins, so I figure if they are now doing their slow run day at 31 then I'll let them off. I'm going to make them do a fast 6km on Friday and tomorrow we are doing a strength session.

Beans36 Wed 24-Oct-12 13:53:36

I went for a run this morning! Only 4.2k, but it's a start after about 10 weeks off! I've lost half a stone since Dad died, which is miserable. I'd rather do it because I'm trying than because I'm feeling blue.

Dog is finally growing on me! Hurray! Although I did get cross with her when she shat in the kitchen this morning, but then I took her for a lovely walk. That's why we have dogs, isn't it? Really enjoyed the walk, it was so nice and refreshing. So nice to be just her and me. Think the girls will enjoy it too when we all go together. Especially as, because she's a labrador and can have dodgy hips, I'm only allowed to take her for 5 mins per month of her life til she's 8 month, so it's not too far for them at the moment! Although I naughtily did 20mins this morning, because it was so lovely.

DD1 was dry at night fairly early, but I kept her in nappies for ages, just to be on the safe side. And I lifted her before I went to bed. Then after a few months, and realising how distressed she was getting when I lifted her and she was rarely weeing, I stopped that. But DD2 wees massively at night. But I guess she is only 2 and 4 months, so not surprising really! She's also taken to wetting herself again. That'll teach me for being so smug about her potty training in a day! She is now pissing with impunity! Someone said I should write a book called that!

Finding today quite tough re Dad. Keep weeping, which is only to be expected, really, I suppose. I just am missing him.

Went to the shops to get an outfit for his Service of Thanksgiving yesterday. John Lewis is great, isn't it? Dad always thought we dressed a bit cheaply (erm, Tesco my favourite shop), so I spent a bit of cash on this dress and this jazzy scarf to make it a bit brighter, with earrings this colour but a bit danglier... Really pleased with it all. Now keen to get some smart knee high boots, but they were £150 and I balked at the price! (Having spent a ficking fortune already!)

Am I a bit boring????

Beans36 Wed 24-Oct-12 13:55:27

Oh and I bought this top which is lovely, but am going to cut off the bow thing at the back and wear it back to front sometimes as it's nice both ways round!


Rubena Wed 24-Oct-12 14:27:40

Vaggie, you do know I'm just joking I hope! Tis brilliant. I need to get off my lazy arse and pick up the walking pace a bit. I've just been ambling if going at all, and on hols I gained 3 kg so not happy.

Beans I'm so glad you are coming round to the little pup. True about the pups hips, so true. Careful on stairs and (I don't think you do) but careful on wooden floors until the hips are developed.
I absolutely love that dress! It will be perfect. And really like the top too - I eyed it off the other day.
Understandable to have good and bad days. Time is the only thing they say isn't it, and it's so true x

Rubena Wed 24-Oct-12 14:28:32

I meant I don't think you do have wooden floors! Sounds like I said I don't think you are careful!

DeidreBarlow Wed 24-Oct-12 14:55:10

Thanks for the reassurance re night time nappies. Mum was going on about it the other day, and so I felt like I should be training him at night! Will definatly leave it for a good while.

Beans sorry your having a down day but its very early days and to be expected. The dress & top are lovely btw.

Honsandrevels Wed 24-Oct-12 15:22:39

Good shopping beans! Good days and bad days are to be expected.

The thing with dogs is unless you have had one, they seem like far too much work. I had them growing up and it is hard to explain to someone who hasn't had a dog (dh!) how great they are! I can't articulate why I'd love a dog but when I think of our old dog I just yearn for one.

Re bedwetting. It depends on the child and when they are wetting. RT I know lots of girls who were wetting well into primary school.

Dummy fairy update. L is now sucking her thumb! It feels like a huge mistake taking the dummy away as we could limit it. She is sucking her thumb ALL the time.

Indith Wed 24-Oct-12 15:46:55

Haha, some kids are just suckers! I have 3 thumb suckers so I see a life of orthodentics ahead of us. Ds2 oddly sucks his thumb quite a lot in the day but won't suck it to settle at night. Perverse child. Leaving the bedtime teddy in bed and keeping busy has helped us to limit daytime sucking for the big ones together with reminders that they only need to suck when in bed. Seems to work a bit but as wiht everything they are all different. I was at high school with a girl who still sucked her thumb, she'd do it in lessons and everything!

Beans that is some good shopping, lovely clothes. Your dad of course is probably rolling his eyes at you form somewhere going "Oh NOW she treats herself to some nice clothes!". Buy the boots. I bet the boots are fab. There will be many ups and downs ahead, never feel as though you can't come on here and let off some steam or just cry.

Ds1 fine at school today thank goodness. Harvest Festival assembly tomorrow. I get to go an be Catholiced while I watch my pfb be a mousling grin.

McKayz Wed 24-Oct-12 17:01:28

DD is a thumb sucker. I don't really care too much at the minute as it keeps her happy and she can settle herself if she sucks her thumb.

Beans the clothes are lovely. I agree with Indith, buy the boots!! We had to do the 5 minutes per month thing too with Gresley. Or the vet said you could do 1 minute per week of their life.

Rubena Wed 24-Oct-12 17:08:02

Agree hons - I grew up with having 3 dogs (large property) and I really was desperate for one after getting married (as I could have someone home with it when I was away with work grin) The kids just love her, and she's a good safety companion out walking especially when it gets dark so early!

Beans, have you got a link to the boots? I love tall boots and want another pair this Winter but have 2 still in good nick so finding it hard to justify another, hmm but I did see a lovely pair the other day.

JamInMyWellies Wed 24-Oct-12 18:01:05

Nice beans. Link to the boots please. I am boots obsessed have far to many pairs.

I have decided I really dont like anyone elses children. shock DS1 has a friend round for tea and I have taken a total dislike to him he is just irritating me for no real reason. Does anyone else ever feel like that or should I go beat myself up for being so horrible?

It looks like our trip to NY next wk for the marathon is turning onto a very social few days. Already meeting up with my BFF who lives there, cant wait. My DSIS her of the posho wedding is also going to be there, plus a couple of other really good friends and just found out another good friend is also there at the same time. Cocktails!!!

Oh and with the bedwetting DS1 at 3ish took off his nappy had one accident and been dry ever since he is like a camel. DS2 refuses to wear anything at night we have even tried sneaking a nappy on him while asleep and he goes bonkers. He can go for a wk or so dry no problem then does a wk of soaking wet nights or sometimes wakes 2 or 3 times.

Oh and yay these are back grin grin grin

LadyThompson Wed 24-Oct-12 18:15:18

Jam, I luuurrrrvvv NY, have many pals there and am tres jalous of your trip. Have a fab time.

DD1's had a vom bug (she seems ok now if a bit shivery) and I am bustling about cos I am off to Trieste in NW Italy on Fri and then going straight to my Mum's on Sunday night when I get back - am taking the girls for a few days as it's half term here from Fri.

Rubes, that convo was quite something for early in the morning grin

I am going to look at the stuff you bought in a mo, Beans. And let's have a look at the boots as well.

Oh blow, have to do the girls some supper but will be back later as DP is away and there's no one to complain I am being antisocial grin

DeidreBarlow Wed 24-Oct-12 18:48:15

DS bit someone at pre school sad. Apparently he is getting 'a reputation'. How bad is that, my boy is going to be the one who never gets invited to parties/playdates etc

Jam you are right not to like other peoples kids. You wouldn't like mine. Right now I don't like him much either.sad

JamInMyWellies Wed 24-Oct-12 19:08:34

DB I am sure I would love him he sounds like he has loads of character.

I do think its very unprofessional of your nursery to tell you he is getting a reputation. There has to be a reason as to why this is happening at nursery. What is their action plan? How do they deal with his behaviour? Is there a trigger point?

In the meantime have a mahoosive wine

Beans36 Wed 24-Oct-12 19:12:53

these are the boots I think. V plain.

DB, that sounds rubbish of nursery to say that. Please don't be blue and remember it is just a phase. A horrid one, but a phase nonetheless and one day you WILL look back and laugh. Not yet, but when he's older. I'm sorry for you, must be so horrid, but you know he's a lovely little boy. Did nursery tell you how they deal with it? Perhaps you could come up with an action plan with them?

Have a large wine and take a deep breath. X

Beans36 Wed 24-Oct-12 19:14:18

PS I can't quite be arsed to clear up the house... So much to do and zero energy.

Am pretty much a single mother at moment and am TIRED!

DeidreBarlow Wed 24-Oct-12 19:17:10

Someone had something he wanted, tussle followed, DS couldn't get his own way so bit her on the hand. She let go.

They have a problem with DS needing his own space and they say children have to ask DS if they can play with him. Thing is DS & DD always argue about this at home. So I tell them to respect each others space and ask to join each others game. Mainly because DS steams in like a bull in a China shop and ruins her game. DS thinks this rule should carry over to school, it doesn't and he gets pissed at the other kids.

They want him observed by the 'inclusion officer', to see what she recommends....

I'm right royally fucked off with it all.

Beans36 Wed 24-Oct-12 19:17:16

But by God I love these DRIBBLE

DeidreBarlow Wed 24-Oct-12 19:17:58

Sorry for swearing...it'll pass...either that or I'll become an alcoholic.

Beans36 Wed 24-Oct-12 19:18:15

Oh DB that is tough. Do you think the review would help? But wtf is an inclusion officer??

DeidreBarlow Wed 24-Oct-12 19:19:53

Beans both are lovely! Buy them, you deserve it.

DeidreBarlow Wed 24-Oct-12 19:21:25

Who the feck knows!! I think she will tell them how DS can include himself in pre school without feeling the urge to eat someone or pummel their head.

Beans36 Wed 24-Oct-12 19:50:53

Maybe they're not feeding him enough??? Seriously, though,it must be hard, but it sounds ridiculous, but thank goodness there is a reason for it, IYSWIM?

A friend of mine's little boy goes round thumping, biting and pulling other children's hair for absolutely no reason and has taken to spitting too. He is only 2, but she is at her wit's end and it seems to be every single child he meets that he does it to. Makes her life hellish. Her DH thinks it's hilarious, which doesn't help.

DB, on another note, I meant to ask, how are you and DH doing now he's moved on fro. Grieving for his Mum? I haven't yet been a total bitch to DH, but feel I may be at some point.

Would love to get both those boots, but spondulix sadly lacking... Have spanked it all on other stuff and am at overdraft limit! Bugger!

Rubena Wed 24-Oct-12 19:57:07

right, having driven all over surrey chasing a Citylink parcel at kids bedtime I have now finally let he anger go over 1) the cock up made by Safetots when I specifically ticked the box and left information to leave it in the porch if no answer, and 2) the fact the CityLink driver put ZERO information on the "sorry we missed you card" (like fuck they're sorry) that I had to spend another 20 min at the depot while they searched for it.
DD starts swimming with a new company tomorrow and they insist on one of the Splash about swim nappies and of course I left it to the last minute as I thought DS still had an old one.....
DH is on call again.... minimum 830pm so I think he's going to stay the night again - just stupid coming back all that way to have to go in again at 7am confused
Cannot wait until he has some time off after these exams.

I love NY too - going on Friday, for one night lol. Going to take DH in Dec as only working 3 days and have requested NY as he's never been.

Oh Deids, not sure about these things, but sounds pretty common. DD was bitten at nursery recently. I'm sure it will pass as you say how he's such a lovely boy at home so it's not all the time that he's naughty like that. Big wine alright!

Indith Wed 24-Oct-12 19:57:25

DB the children who get excluded from parties etc are the little oiks who have parents who don't actually try to do anything about it not boys like yours who have lovely involved parents and who are just having a few issues understanding social norms.

What is wrong with asking before they join in? I consider that fairly normal and a good thing to teach children to do.

Like the boots, they'd be a good purchase, being plain they won't date.

Indith Wed 24-Oct-12 20:01:30

Oh dear Rubes, I don't know what to say, you sound like you need a break. Roll on Dec!

I wish I had some spare cash right now. Someone is selling one of the most lovely wraps in the entire world on FB and I want it! (Natibaby dinos for anyone interested). It is a short one so not too expensive at all really but I don't have £60.

JamInMyWellies Wed 24-Oct-12 20:29:10

Beans those kurt keiger boots are on sale on the kurt geiger website here

Rubes what an eve. wine for you.

Rubena Wed 24-Oct-12 20:36:19

kids in bed and wine has been poured grin

Honsandrevels Wed 24-Oct-12 20:47:37

Ooh beans, a sale bargain, go on!

I hate those sort of faffy problems Rubes, how irritating. Loved your breakfast conversation.

Deids Do not panic! Nursery are not handling the situation well. I think as your ds is used to this rule at home, a very sensible rule, then nursery could make an attempt to understand things from your ds's point of view.

Is this a preschool attached to a school or a private nursery? If it was the latter I'd be tempted to look elsewhere.

JamInMyWellies Wed 24-Oct-12 20:50:35

Good Lord the ebay nutters are at it again. Am selling a bunch of disney cars duplo. Thought if I was lucky it might go for a fiver its up to 22 with another day to go. Do people not realise you can buy it new for about 25.

LadyThompson Wed 24-Oct-12 21:17:49

Oh DB sad Flipping 'eck, it's just a bite - they're a bit heavy with this 'inclusion officer' nonsense aren't they? He's not cut anyone's head off! Great Scott, they must have come across stuff like this many, many times before. Yeah, it's a pain in the bum I am sure but he WILL grow out of it, he ain't the first and he won't be the last. It's fine and he is FINE! I know it's ok for me to say, but do try not to worry and keep on with the praising when he is good. Bet you any money he will be festooned with pals when he starts school.

I like those long boots, Beans. I want some long brown ones. Can't afford the ones I want! So may buy some cheap ones, I dunno. That dress is lovely, by the way, and the scarf and earrings are a nice colour combo with the black. I felt sort of shaken for the first weeks after my Dad died so go v easy on yourself. How are the rest of the family bearing up?

Wetting at night - DD1 still wears a pull up or a nappy. But I am just being lazy as they are almost always dry in the morning so I might start leaving them off soon. DD2 is keen to use the potty but given that DD1 was only TT'd in late January of this year, I am not sure I am ready for all that jazz so soon grin

Right, will read back when I have made a coffee.

LadyThompson Wed 24-Oct-12 21:21:22

Cross posted with loads then. Anyhoo - back anon.

LadyThompson Wed 24-Oct-12 22:00:23

Rubes, that sounds like an El Crappo day. I know it's hard when your DH is working so hard. And a trip for you both to NY will be such a nice treat.

RT - how are you feeling today? Well, you know what I am going to say re: GF - do whatever gets you through, my love! I doubt anyone's going to judge you on here. Mine both found their own sort of routines (or so we think - maybe we shaped them more than we realised, I never know - but FF babes probably have a different sort of feeding pattern in any case). How is DD2's leg?

A local friend's 18mth old broke his leg in two places about three weeks ago and she took the cast off herself because it was rubbing the top of his leg. The child is walking on it as well. Er...I don't think Rubes' DH would be impressed. I wouldn't dare take a cast off before I'd been told!

Don't diss the Ebay nutters, young Jam - they will hopefully be paying my mortgage and my enormous monthly minimum pyt on my credit card next month. I have another twenty or so items I need to put on tonight so better not chat too much on here!

I sold a small amount of old jewellery today (broken bits, some I didn't like) - got sixty quid. Not on Ebay though, to a jeweller. My trip at the weekend is going to be fairly severe in terms of budget. It's going to be a tenner a day for food (I get breakfast), some for bus fares and entrances to things and that's it. Gulp. I always feel like bottling it a day or two before I go.

How did your pals find the race, Vag? And how is DD1's violin going? tell me all about Austria.

ZJ and KP - you are both back at work now? How's it panning out? How did the drinking and ABs go, ZJ? KP -c'mon, you gotta tell us about your aunt finding out that her father wasn't her father!

Well, DP is in Manchester and from something like January 11th to April 11th he will be in a big, serious trial in London. I don't know how we are going to manage. It would have been so easy if I still had the use of my flat but now he is going to have to commute (horrendously costly and tiring) and/or try and stay with pals now and then. It's not even that. He gets paid anything between 3 and 9 months after he does a job, we never know when. So for the months after he does this big trial, he is going to have an empty diary (because he won't have been around to do the preliminary stuff for other trials so they will have gone to other people) and also we won't know when any money is coming in. We are both fed up of it. I know others are much, much worse off but I find keeping on top of all our ginormous debts a massive strain. And yes, I am going to Italy for the weekend but the combined flight cost was about £36. (I do feel guilty though! And I can't afford it!)

Roight, Ebay beckons. I'm up for Secret Santa, Kayz.

Beans36 Wed 24-Oct-12 22:03:02

What do you all think of those brown ones? Think I'll go for it! Bugger the overdraft!

JamInMyWellies Wed 24-Oct-12 22:05:14

Lady have you thought about selling your flat? Or is that a cant ever happen situation?

JamInMyWellies Wed 24-Oct-12 22:10:37

Beans go for it!

LadyThompson Wed 24-Oct-12 22:27:40

I like the brown ones, Beans. VV nice.

Wouldn't make any sense to sell my flat, Jam (you are right I wouldn't be keen but if I had to, I would) - I get an income from it (mortgage on it fairly small), it's my (only) pension, and the rate at which property that central appreciates makes it worth hanging on to. We've thought about selling DP's flat but he has got bugger all equity in it and again, it's his pension (and once someone decides to rent it, the rent will pay for the mortgage with a bit over). What I would REALLY like to do is extend my London mortgage to free up some cash to pay off some of our debts, or else get some money off the back of this house to do the same. Except, in the current climate, tentative enquiries would seem to suggest I would be laughed out the door. Which is incredibly annoying.

Ugh, I think I am getting DD1's bug, I feel really sick.

JamInMyWellies Wed 24-Oct-12 22:39:21

So frustrating Lady. There is such a misconception about your DPs job that you get pots of money. My DM was in the legal business and said it was a nightmare. My DSIS got a first class honours law degree and chose not to go further with it and went to google land as its so hard to get anywhere going down your DPs route.

LadyThompson Wed 24-Oct-12 22:59:53

Jam, he wishes he'd never done it. The hoops people have to jump through to do it...There are still plenty of barristers who earn £££, but none of them do crime (or rather, they don't do the legal aid work that DP does). It is an immensely skilled job - and so stressful - and due to all the cuts in the legal aid budget plus the fact that solicitors can now act for people in court if they do their higher rights (relatively simple, and not like going to bar school, getting pupillage, and all the rest of the agonising route people take to become barristers)...When I met DP, as well as my own salary, he was earning almost twice as much as he earns now - THAT is how much the changes have bitten. Our knacker of a car is worth about £1200. And we struggle to pay every bill. Every time I see stuff in the papers about fat cat lawyers, I wince. Not my one. There are many, many days when he has to travel (not just to Oxford but to Reading, Winchester, Northampton) for a hearing for which he will get paid the princely sum of £46.50. Of course, he pays for his own travel, and chambers rent (the money they all pay to chambers to run it, for the clerks, admin staff and all costs) is 22%. That's 22% on the gross, of course hmm So, with the debts we have accrued (DP had some before, the rest as a result of doing up the house/cash flow/and, at first, living how we used to instead of within our means, though we haven;t done so for yonks...we are up to our eyeballs. Your DSIS did the right thing.

Ooops, didn't mean to have a massive rant there. I am well aware that we still have three properties between us. But if we sell one of them, penury in old age beckons!

Rubena Wed 24-Oct-12 23:10:02

Lady, that really is frustrating amongst other things. That length of time to get paid, hard to plan, and then missing getting the work whilst working. The brilliant thing is the flats you two have. Agree about not selling. If they are paying for themselves and then some it's win win. Such a great investment / passive income to have.
I meant to pop over to the meet up thread to reply to you so will do that....

LadyThompson Wed 24-Oct-12 23:22:37

Absolutely, Rubes, I thank my lucky stars for my flat in London every day. DP's flat....not so much grin But it's the only pension he is likely to have so we hang on to it. People are leaving his chambers (and the profession) in droves because it's so hard. The Inland Revenue aren't very sympathetic when you say "well, I am owed x, but I could get it any time between now and about late spring, so I am not sure when I can pay you" - which is what DP had to say to them on the phone today. Again. On the positive side - I have become brilliantly thrifty, great at counting blessings and enjoying things that are cheap (or free!).......But doing stuff like selling jewellery or crazed Ebaying to pay a mortgage can be a little demoralising. Ho hum! There was a thread on MN the other week about a poor pregnant lady who had so little money for food her baby had a small abdomen which was a sign she wasn't eating enough and the baby was having to rely on stores in its tiny liver sad sad If I feel a bit sorry for myself ever, I do remember that there are people suffering more than I can imagine.

DeidreBarlow Wed 24-Oct-12 23:25:05

Bond DS is at the pre school attached to the school. I bet he has already been written off by the Reception teachers.

Blimey Ladyt that is tough re: DPs work/pay. Certainly not the glamorous profession some of these TV dramas make out. I think it would be daft to sell the flats unless absolutely critical. Like you say they are a great pension investment.

DeidreBarlow Wed 24-Oct-12 23:27:40

Who's bond? I meant Hons, bloody predictive text!

sybilfaulty Wed 24-Oct-12 23:37:41

Lady T, DH proposed in Trieste and we have been several times so you must go! It's wonderful. I can recommend a couple of nice eateries if you'd like? Sorry about the cash. It's a bummer and I have many friends in the same situation.

Deids, my lovely DD1 bit someone once and was labelled as a biter which really pissed me off. Many children bite, and they all grow out of it. Usually by nursery end if not before. YOu don't have many Reception biters. Inclusion crap far too heavy handed IMO. Hang on in there. H is a lovely boy and will go back to being a top chap shortly.

Must bed. So tired. Love the clothes Beans. Hope you are OK. Talk soon.

Night all XXXX

LadyThompson Wed 24-Oct-12 23:42:04

Know what, DB - he will be better off at school. It's a year off, nearly, so he will have more time to get used to being with other kids, and hopefully you will find the teachers more helpful and knowledgeable than the pre-school assistants. Er, I can't say I am hugely impressed with the ones at DD1's pre-school.

There are elements of glamour in DP's profession grin But in the crime end, just not a lot of dough.

Oooh, Revolutionary Road's on the box. Good, if hugely depressing film (and a beter book).

LadyThompson Wed 24-Oct-12 23:44:39

Thanks Sybs. And do tell me about the eateries even if I just go to push my nose against the glass and eat the croissants I have stuffed in my bra from la colazione grin

sybilfaulty Thu 25-Oct-12 06:10:07

LadyT, the glamour of the bar is a poor compensation for the wages at the criminal bar. I have a friend who used to sit on the circle line and just go round and round rather than go back to chambers and get sent to the back of beyond for a bail app for £30 less expenses. I think everyone perceives that being a lawyer is mega bucks but it sure ain't, and I think being Counsel is worse than being a solicitor. I'll look at my trieste books tonight to find the names of the restaurants / bars. One is on the main square and one is an ice cream parlour. Very lovely. You taking the nippers?

I got in from work last night at 9.30 and am running my bath. Am off again at 7.30 to drop kids at breakfast club then running to station to get to work. Shattered. Roll on half term.

Have a great day everyone.

JamInMyWellies Thu 25-Oct-12 07:04:06

So nice to see the thread healthy with posts again. grin

Lady I love the eBay nutters they have often got us out of a hole. I have stacks more to list. It's hopefully funding most of boys Christmas.

Maybe you need to start writing trashy novels choc full of sex. Those books seem to be flying off the shelf these days.

DB hope DS has a better day today. For what it's worth I think your nursery are being rubbish. Often these things happen because they are not old enough to have the skills to figure out a different way of dealing with the problem facing them. It will get better, I promise. I also think what you do at home is an excellent idea and I see no reason why nursery can't implement it too.

RT does constant munching help the nausea? I wonder could you try the techniques you learnt in your course for sickness now?

Indith how's DS? They are all so knackered. DS1 is hanging on in there but is soo emotional.

My poor beans are missing their daddy at the mo. it's just constant work. He worked from home yesterday as he hoped it meant he could at least be around at bedtime but instead was still working at 9.

DS1 has parents night tonight. Am not loving his new teacher. Am hoping tonight she can redeem herself as he has her for the next 2 yrs.

Right spose I best get in the shower. Happy days everyone.

Indith Thu 25-Oct-12 08:17:22

LadyT that sounds very tough sad. Dare I say it, have you looked at any of the work form home type things like Phoenix Cards? #friend of mine started doing Phoenix when her dh lost his job, she doesn't do much at all (especially since she is now working full time and doing a masters) but it keeps a little extra trickling in.

We are lucky in many ways. Money isn't exactly free flowing but with having had ds1 while still students we've always lived within our means so the only debt is student loan and mortgage. It is a nice place to be really.

Ds1 is so, so tired. So tired. Come on half term! Just 2 school days left! He had both his ankle and his wrist hurting last night with growing pains/over tired slightly hypermobile pain so didn't get to sleep until around 9pm and was up early with a nightmare/needed a wee/is far too tired so waking early. A week is not going ot be enough time to recover!

Indith Thu 25-Oct-12 08:18:14

I really should give ebay another whirl the way you lot manage to sell things!

Beans36 Thu 25-Oct-12 08:37:29

Wow, Sybs. Busy bee! Lady, one of my best friends does criminal law and it's criminal pay. She is currently doing Saturday court as well and is sent all over the bloody country and gets paid piss all. But she does love it...

I love my DD1's pre-school teacher. V impressed with her and we all had to go to a lesson in helping the kids to read on tues. was really interesting. She's wasted on nursery, though. Should be higher up. But she's just what you want in a teacher. V kind, but stern and actually v pretty. DH rather loves her! They're really into getting them reading, which is brill.

RTchoke Thu 25-Oct-12 08:51:34

Wow, it took me 20 mins to catch-up this morning. Lovely!

Beans - I love all those clothes. Buy the boots! If you ever deserve to splurge then it's now. Glad the dog is growing on you.

Lady - your poor DP, it must be a demoralising profession nowadays. A criminal bannister friend of mine is trying to carve an income out of mediation which she reckons is a growth area. It's also more family friendly hours/conditions. Her chambers even paid her to write a mediation manual which I proof read so got a mention in the foreword (fame at last!). Could your DP look at other fields like that? Re his London case if we are away in that period (we will be the last week of March) he is more then welcome to house sit for us. Seriously, you cld stay with him and have a fun London week.

Jam - I'm uber jealous re New York. Ate you staying somewhere glam? We used to have friends with a flat opposite the Guggenheim. Those were the days! Why don't you like your DS' teacher? It's hard when you don't. My DD1 has job sharing teachers this year. The Mon-Weds teacher is great, Thurs-Fri seems useless. Last year's teacher was properly amazing but reception year was awful. It's such a lottery.

Veg - I love the fact you are motivating your friends to become real runners. I wish you lived near me! And an Austrian Christmas sounds so traditionally perfect. Do your boys like the Sound of Music?

Rubes - what a nightmare evening you had. On the otherhand your breakfast convo was so hilarious I hope it balanced the day. When will your DH do his exams and be freer?

Indith - I hope your DS1 can soldier on to Friday pm. Is he reception? I don't remember DD1 getting v tired out by school but I've heard lots of other patents talking about it. Having said that I notice she needs an earlier night on Fridays but that usually sees her right.

Girls, girls, girls I am so very depressed about my weight. This time last year I was 11 stone 4 (remember I'm 5'11). Then I went low carb in Feb and by August I was 9 stone 10 and a proper size 10. The joy! I could have maintained that as low carb was nonlinger a chore and felt like a lifestyle but the morning sickness put pay to it all. I need to eat all the time and White carbs are all I want. I've avoided cakes etc but the sandwiches/pasta etc are such a change to my metabolism that in the 11 weeks of this pregnancy I have put on 9lbs. Nine pounds! I am nearly 10.5 stone. You aren't meant to gain any weight in the first trimester but this is all down to the carbs. A pasta dinner adds a pound everytime but some nights it's that or vomit. I feel so down about it. I'm not even enjoying my food. It's not even feeling like a treat to eat this stuff. I hope that when the sickness eases I can low carb again and at least slow the gain but who knows.

Rubena Thu 25-Oct-12 10:04:45

Lovely to see everyone on here. Wish Effie would come back [worrying] and PD

RT if you were very disciplined in the past with the low carbing, you will do it again. Look it's just about 6 or 7 months. I'd say eat what you need to to stop you feeling grim and make a healthy baby, then go at it again after the BF or whatever. Its probably the last time you'll be pregnant right? hmm Its a small chunk of your life. And oh, I put on weight in 1st trimester both times, then it balanced out at the other end. It might be just different this time - perhaps that means a boy grin
But I know it's easy for me to say being not pregnant, despite the fact I'm depressed about putting on holiday weight, as I was exactly like you when pregnant and got really down about uncontrollable weight gain - as you know though it's just one of those things.
DH's exam is part 1 in the first week of Nov then Part 2 early Feb. It's just bad timing as switching to the new job he's been at since this month is the busiest one and farthest traveling so he's working like mad in the regular job and also hasn't been able to lock down enough / much study leave. He stayed over last night but at least has the afternoon off today (except he'll work from home at the other stuff which has recently gone mad)

Lady, what a great offer from RT - nice little week in London would cheer you all! DH has always said if he needs help he would def throw some legal work your DP's way if he was able to fit it in / wanted it.

I just lost the dog for half an hour. Silly thing is I know it was impossible for her to get out (of even the yard) ended up finding her shut in (by one of the kids) a bedroom as she was "trying to eat their toast" grin nothing unusual there but dd had had enough! Poor dog, you can call her and call her but she doesn't make a sound!grin

Rubena Thu 25-Oct-12 10:08:37

Just went on FB and our effie has surfaced! grin

Rubena Thu 25-Oct-12 10:14:37

Beans, sell some stuff on ebay and buy the boots, then you'll justify it grin I never got my bag for my birthday (mainly as I couldn't bring myself to spend the money as things really tight after hols and before exam and dh useless with money) so going to do just that and buy it for myself grin

LadyThompson Thu 25-Oct-12 11:34:40

You are all so kind with your suggestions and sympathy. You have cheered me up so much. I will be back this afternoon but I need to get all this gear on Ebay that I didn't put on last night when I was on here grin

Rubena Thu 25-Oct-12 11:41:00

what are you selling lady?

LadyThompson Thu 25-Oct-12 11:49:01

This time, clothes mainly. I still have plenty that are too big, too small, or that I have simply gone off. Quite a few good high street labels (Jigsaw, Farhi and the like), and then some things that are everyday high street but which always seem to sell (eg Top Shop).

But I sell anything that I can. In recent months I have sold kitchen equipment, costume jewellery, rugs, antique bottles, cables, bras, foreign banknotes - you name it, I've probably flogged it!

LadyThompson Thu 25-Oct-12 11:52:11

People will even buy random lengths of material...I suppose for craft purposes. My rationale is that if I get more than £1.99 for something it's just about worth it (because if you can do twenty of those a week that's £160 a month) but most things I sell go for more.

LadyThompson Thu 25-Oct-12 11:53:36

Used shoes do well! As long as they are desirable names. I am not talking Louboutins, just the usual Dune/Faith/Ravel or whathaveyou.

McKayz Thu 25-Oct-12 12:01:23

I am no good at selling on ebay. Things I try and sell don't sell until I have listed them about 10 times. I've sold 2 wedding dresses and a couple of pairs of boots.

I do have a load of goth clothes that are far too small that I should sell. I will never be a size 10 again so should get rid of them.

I've decided to do an open university degree in History. I am really really looking forward to it but wondering if I am maybe crazy.

Rubena Thu 25-Oct-12 12:01:47

Brilliant Lady! I remember when you were a newbie to the eBay scene. Bloody good job. Bet you've got some high feedback now!

LadyThompson Thu 25-Oct-12 12:07:23

Yes Rubes, I sold my first thing in April and then start selling seriously in May. I think you just have to keep in your mind that people need all sorts of random weird items.....

Kayz, sometimes I have to list things over and over. I wait for those free weekends. Open University - brilliant. A big commitment though. Are you doing it for the joy of it or to enhance future employment prospects?

Right, MUST crack on with Ebay!

McKayz Thu 25-Oct-12 12:58:37

A bit of both I think Lady. I absolutely love history so a lot of it is just for the joy of it. I'd love a history related job but not sure what there is really.

Hi folks, wow, very hard to keep up these days and sadly not loads of time for a catch up as am trying to lay the ground for promoting my book (hopefully out next week!) and getting prepped for job interview on Tuesday. Can any of you think of any really hard questions you've been asked at interview that you wished you'd thought about before?
B is still poorly with a mega virus and has not slept for a week (and when I say not slept, I mean really not - like 4 hours a night or so) - took him to GP and they just said "it's a virus, keep him dosed up, he'll get over it". It's taking a bloody age though...

Lady it sounds like you're doing a really good job eking things out in tricky circumstances and finding a balance between living life (going on your trips) and saving cash. You always manage to be in such good cheer though, and I find your posts very inspiring when I'm having my own pity parties grin.

Kayz an OU degree sounds amazing but mega hard work. Hats off to you! Was it prompted by your family tree research or have you always been interested in history?

Rubes, aw, you have such a lovely dog (and this from someone who is not a canine's best friend). Must be really nice for the DC to have around. Sorry things been so hectic recently though. We must try and schedule a meet-up soon. Will DM you later to get something in the diary.

Is anyone else having struggles limiting TV for their DCs? I suspect mine watch more than most as they're up so early (think 4.30) and I'm in no way to do anything else except plonk them in front of iplayer or the DVD until I've woken up enough myself. They also watch it at various points in the day (when I'm making meals for e.g), but T has started to have mega tantrums if he's not allowed to watch it when he wants. How do you limit the attraction of TV without withholding it altogether?

LadyThompson Thu 25-Oct-12 13:07:37

Just having a break from the Ebaying but only for two mins. Spot, if the nipperoos are getting up at 4.30 do NOT, repeat do NOT beat yourself up for putting them in front of the telly. It is not the time of morning to be cracking out the craft materials grin

As I have said before, I don't think a liberal dollop of telly is the end of the world (purely on the basis that I have turned out ok). However, if they are jazzed enough about something else they will play with that as an alternative to telly - so you need to provide a mass of alternatives.

Friend of mine was telling me how she did a 'treasure hunt' - hid loads of stuff around the house. Kept her kids busy for HOURS....

LadyThompson Thu 25-Oct-12 13:10:27

...and DD2 has just clonked me on the head with an effing model horse. My forehead is actually bleeding. FFS!

LadyThompson Thu 25-Oct-12 13:13:08

Someone else got their kids to draw round their feet on newspaper, cut them out, paint them, and make a trail with footprints.

Sounds as boring as Bedfordshire to me, but I am ssured the little darlings like it.

Ouch, my head. This has not enhanced my beauty.

That is really good advice Lady, thanks grin. Sorry for your poor head though <sends virtual cold compress>

VagolaJahooli Thu 25-Oct-12 13:18:34

Just ducking in tres quick as its taken so long to catch up that I've no time to post.

Just wanted to say Jam, I really can't stand loads of other people kids. They actually grate on me. They seem to eat constantly and the wet ones drive me made. They cry at the drop of a hat over even just a loud noise. Give me DBs boy any day, I like kids with a bit of oomph, & manners. Really can't believe they don't think asking to join in with his play is a good thing?

Beans I want ankle boots like that too. In fact as soon as dh gets back in 5 mins I'm off out to a shoe store sale.

Honsandrevels Thu 25-Oct-12 14:46:15

Spot My hardest interview question ever was in my first proper job interview and the first question was 'why should we give you the job?' I was a bit shocked they didn't build up to it.

Tv I try not to put the tv on until J has gone for her afternoon nap, however I don't have early risers! I'd have no qualms about using it first thing if I was up then. L knows what time programmes are on and pulls huge strops when I switch it off. No solution I'm afraid but I feel your pain.

We need Christmas/birthday and some new toys to play with.

RT Do not weigh yourself again until you feel better. Nausea is debilitating and you need to eat.

LadyThompson Thu 25-Oct-12 15:28:25

Thanks again me dears for all your helpful comments. Sorry about the dummy being replaced by constant thumbsucking, Hons. Would she respond to bribes?

Rubes, DP would definitely, definitely do some of those legal reports if there are any your DH can send his way. Thank you v much. Gosh, the first part of his exam is so soon. He is under the cosh at the moment, all right. And poor old pooch, imprisoned in the bedroom. She is so goodnatured.

Likewise, RT, if you do go away in March a firm yes please for the housesitting! Would be very gratefully received. Actually, he realised about two or three years ago that the writing was on the wall and has been trying to switch over to employment (his masters is in Employment and Family law, not crime) but when you are very experienced in one area it’s virtually impossible to switch. Also RT – you need to eat to keep going at the mo. When the nausea goes you can pull it back – plus you have proved you can low carb, it works for you and will work again later. Try not to fret though I KNOW how demoralising the weight malarkey can be, massive sympathy there. Forget weight for now – it’s not the time. Health and wellbeing are what you need to focus on, truly. Also, you were so beautifully slim when you got pregnant, you are never going to get that big from that point.

Sybs, you know exactly how it is, I know you do. Sigh. Thanks for the sympathy. I am not staying in Trieste itself, but nearish by. I think I will spend Sat there. Oh, and I am going solo so much easier to have a subsistence existence!

Beans – DP will smile when I tell him it’s ‘criminal pay’. Too right. His chambers is on the point of breaking up and I think he may have to take a job as in house counsel somewhere eventually (if a job somes along). He doesn’t want to but it can’t come quickly enough for me – if he was employed, he would get a monthly salary and we wouldn’t have to cope with the tax and VAT bills….I do take his point though that having to go to the police station in the middle of the night over and over is a young man’s game and not compatible with family life.

I don’t actually know where it will all end. We calculated that between us we are paying about £1,500 PER MONTH just on servicing debts – credit cards, overdrafts and the like. Most of those are just minimum pyts. I could borrow enough to pay off all our debts plus a bit for cash flow on a 20 yr mortgage and it would cost about £400 a month. But I suspect no lender will touch me with a bargepole in the current climate. Oh well – I suppose we will just keep going and then years down the line it will all get sorted out. Ever the optimist!
Actually, Spot, I do get down about things sometimes (sometimes quite silly things as well) but in the final analysis, it’s only illness of loved ones and stuff like that that matters. The rest is just flim flam and we may as well make the best of it! Any happiness or joy that’s out there, however minor or fleeting – grab it with both hands.

Indith, I am v glad you have no debts to speak of. Keep it that way, my love. They are a financial and psychic drain, the latter being the worst. I expect your DS legs it around at school and wears himself out, I have seen the boys in the playground at our local school and they are like dervishes.

That’s another thing that will help your DS, probably, DB – when he starts school he can let off steam outside. Feeling better today?

Jam, I wish I had a bonkbuster in me. Given that I had an erotic dream about Neil Morrissey last night, I fear that avenue is closed to me grin He had very soft feet in the dream and I kept stroking them. I don’t even like feet especially! The other week I had a sexy dream about the tall comedian who plays the headmaster in The Inbetweeners. Oh dear.

Beans, your pre-school teach sounds lovely. I am envious. Ours are a bunch of squawky biddies. What’s up with your DS1’s teacher, Jam?

Eeek, more chores beckon….

DeidreBarlow Thu 25-Oct-12 16:59:08

Hello all, thanks for the words of support it really does help. I had a rubbish night's sleep fretting about DS. Anyway he has had a brilliant day today, no incidents and just generally has been a rather lovely boysmile. I think Indith said it...he is still working out what is socially acceptable. He just seems to be taking longer than others to get ithmm.

Also had a rather interesting chat with my big sis. She thinks the nursery is crap, in a nutshell. If DS is lashing out because children are ruining his game/stealing his toys (usually what sets him off) then they should be tackling the other children for taking the toys as much as telling DS off for hurting (which is most definitely wrong) and that all the children need a lesson in being 'included' and not just DS.

Rather interestingly DS wet himself 3 times at pre school yesterday. After (another) lengthy chat with the manager today it seems DS has been peeing his pants rather than go to the toilet because he is worried if he goes to the loo then someone will trash his game/nick the toy he was playing with. My sister thinks that the pre school teachers should therefore tell DS they will look after his toys while he has a loo stop. I guess its hard for them to do that for every child. But DS finally went to the loo yesterday and when he came back some girl had stolen the pram (seriously!) that he had been playing with and the rest we know. Likewise, if I'm teaching DS to respect his sisters space/toys etc at home its unfair of nursery to say that its tough at nursery!

All I know now is its half term and I don't have to think about it all for a week...did someone say wine, with a wine and a wine on the side???

I seriously need to list some more stuff on Ebay, its keeping my overdraft at bay at the moment! I am always amazed at what sells! But my rule is never list an item for less than £2.00 and if I am selling clothes like Next, M&S etc if I bundle them up they seem to sell better than single items. Actually someone the other day gave me negative feedback over the packaging of an item. I emailed him because it was an outright lie. Turns out it got damaged in the post and the post man had done some sort of repair job! He has since amended his feedback but it still shows as a negative. Arse.

RT Sorry you are feeling miserable about the weight/nausea. But you really do need to just focus on getting through these next few months. You did fantastically well losing that weight and I have no doubt you will once the baby is born, especially having 3 to look after!

spot I can't recall any hard interview questions but at one was asked to draw where I saw myself in 5 years time..WTF? hmm I didn't get the job. I can't drawgrin

Right best get DD to swimming lessons.

EffiePerine Thu 25-Oct-12 17:15:48

slinks in to sit in the dunce's corner

I am very sorry for dropping off the planet and blush that anyone has been worried. The short story is that my work situation exploded and I have been buried in writing reports and haranguing people. Plus I didn't feel happy posting about it on anything googlable. Now that it looks like we aren't lurching towards a PR disaster and I might have a job next year, I can draw breath again.

I have missed you all! Have been lurking occasionally on FB but have rather been avoiding that too tbh.

Anyway, I have a LOT to catch up on so if better get down to at least the last few days!

Best of luck for the interview on Tuesday, Spot smile.

Indith Thu 25-Oct-12 17:20:52

DB you know the best decision I ever made was to swap dd's 15 hours from the local preschool to a private nursery. I have to drive her there but my goodness it is worth it.

1 more day of schol then the boy can sleep. Bless him he always has been easily tired, he was the baby who went to bed at 6.30 and didn't wake til 8 then had a 3 hour nap after lunch. I miss those days! Year 1 is clearly very hard work grin.

Dh is ill I do sympathise but I'd sympathise more if he took himself off to bed instead of sitting on the sofa making dying noises.

EffiePerine Thu 25-Oct-12 17:30:58

I have to say that I love DS2's preschool, the people who run it are really good. They also do Makaton signs which he is picking up on.

Is it mine, or are all nearly-4 YOs a bit odd? We spend a lot of time looking at M in complete bemusement.

LadyThompson Thu 25-Oct-12 17:46:33

Well Effie (and welcome back!) - I don't know, but DD1 is er, a law unto herself. She's lovely of course, but very finicky and precious, unlike DD2 who rolls with the punches (and also likes to throw a few hmm) Work sounds like it's been stressful for you, glad that's abating.

DB, I really think your sister has hit upon it. I mean, she's right isn't she? And yep - forget it for half term! Yay.

Indith, meant to say earlier - 'twas a good suggestion about Phoenix Cards but actually two ladies in the village do it. I even thought about a few shifts at the pub (did it when I was a student, I loved it) - but again, no dice (jobs like that are sought after in a village, I guess). I could earn a bit more money from writing (an itty bit) but it needs time and perseverance and with the Ebaying and the kids I can't quite get on top of that yet. And I am writing this book in the New Year (not that I have massively high hopes for it!)

Good luck with promoting yours, Spot. How's it going? And how is DP's job hunt going? Tricky interview questions: "what are your weakest points?" That's a real toughie. You have to somehow twist negatives into positives. Just generally - a simple point is to go with tons of ideas. I've interviewed people quite a few times and I have always gone with ideas people above all else.

So did you buy any shoes, Vag?

DP will be back from Manchester soon, a few hours earlier than expected. I am leaving the house at 6 in the morn and then I am straight off to Mum's when I return on Sunday night, until Thurs. So cheerio all. Will be lurking.

Rubena Thu 25-Oct-12 18:17:16

starting to lose the love for Primark Pyjama's. The elastic in DD's just broke, so I have unpicked re-tied and handed over to DH to suture (it's more his area) Not impressed. This wouldn't happen to the White Co. PJ's. Time is money ladies, and their WCPJ's always lasted 2 seasons (if you buy them big) angry

Rubena Thu 25-Oct-12 18:35:47

big non-refresh cross post!
HELLO Effie! I wondered where you were! Welcome back.

Deids - totally agree with your Dsis - nursery needs to step it up a bit. Glad for your good day.

Our new swimming course seems quite good. DD was a little miffed with a new venue / teacher, but it was at the most lovely huge private house and only 3 others in the lesson.

Early night for me as the kids were up early today and don't really think I've had 8 hours sleep in the last 72! I'm leaving the house at 530am Lady so will be thinking of you having a coffee grin
Just a quickly and back Sat night. Home for 3 weeks then so hoping the meet up comes together.

JamInMyWellies Thu 25-Oct-12 19:31:04

Hello Effie!

DB your sister has hit the nail on the head. Nursery need to up their game in my opinion. Enjoy half term.

Rubes I hear you on the white company pjs. Whenever I buy them from there they normally go through both boys and my friends little one before they are knackered.

Just back from parents evening. Excellent report DS1 is a 1b which is what they apparently should be at the end of yr 1 so very pleased with that. Although it has confirmed to me that his teacher is as mad as a box of frogs. Eclectic is the only way to describe her. Down to her culottes and stripy Meg the Witch tights.

ZuleikaJambiere Thu 25-Oct-12 20:17:19

A quick me post for now, but promise to catch up soon - so many lovely posts to read. Did I see Effie? Hurrah! Welcome back smile

So I'm about ready to stop BF DD2; she has a tooth, I'll be back at work in less than 2 weeks, I've had a lovely 8 months but I know that it's the right to stop. DD2 won't drink from a bottle, but is demon with a sippy cup and has all her day time milk from that now and I'm only feeding her bedtime and if she wakes in the night. But she will not settle at bedtime without the boob, despite only needing a quick cuddle for daytime naps. And the bedtime feed is getting longer and longer now, regularly more than an hour, and the same again if she feeds in the night. I don't actually think she's taking very much milk from me, I think it's all comfort sucking to relax her. She's never wanted or needed a dummy, but now I'm thinking maybe I should give her one so she can suckle and settle. It seems a bit of a backward step though, at this age. Is it a backwards step, do you think? Or any other suggestions? Last night she fed/sucked for an hour and a half, then DH was up and down the stairs every half hour til midnight. It's looking like tonight will be similar, but he's away and I still haven't had tea and done all those evening jobs like making packed lunches, tidying etc. Help!

Will be back to the rest of you later, wine for DB. I would suggest you tip it over the teachers head, but that is just a waste

McKayz Thu 25-Oct-12 20:37:33

Spot, I've always really liked history. I am really looking forward to it. The worst interview question I had was 'Why do you want this job?' bearing in mind I have only worked in supermarkets. I can't remember what I said now but I do know I was thinking 'so I have money to go to the pub with' grin

DB, your sister is right. They need to be teaching all the children to share and that it isn't nice to go and take things from other children.

I think I'm quite lucky with the school here. I can't think of anything bad to say about it(except being up a hill) The nursery teacher is brilliant, the boys both love him and the assistant. DS1 likes his new teacher too, he has a lovely teaching assistant too.

DH is home tomorrow, I can't wait for some help with everything.

EffiePerine Fri 26-Oct-12 07:27:17

Bloody phone ate my post angry.

ZJ: my long and sage advice was to leave bedtimes to DH for a few nights and let her find a new way of settling. But that might not be possible if he's working. Unless you go away for a nice spa weekend in the name of sleep training grin.

EffiePerine Fri 26-Oct-12 07:29:43

My other news was that DS1 )thank the good Lord) is finally settling in at school and reading seems to have clicked. He's also found he's good at maths which has been a real confidence boost. Y1 is hard work for him, but he's finally realising that a bit of work pays off! His teacher has been great at pushing him when he needs a bit of a challenge, too.

McKayz Fri 26-Oct-12 13:25:12

Woohoo. DH is home!! He bought me some chocolate from Paris airport.

DD keeps staring at him looking slightly bemused. grin

Honsandrevels Fri 26-Oct-12 15:16:13

Aww that's lovely kayz.

I've no idea ZJ sorry. She might start sucking her thumb or fingers. Has she a comforter?

Urgent PhilandTeds question! anyone know if the liners come off for washing? I can't figure a way of getting them off. Help!

Hello Effie, great to see you!

Honsandrevels Fri 26-Oct-12 15:20:01

Panic over, got the liner off!

Beans36 Fri 26-Oct-12 18:15:18

Chilli, our new puppy, is in hospital! They're not sure if she's eaten a dangerous mushroom, or if she has a bug, but she is puking and shitting uncontrollably. In hospital now. They said she'll be fine, which is a relief! But still, scary. I was sick into the sink while I was clearing her poo off kitchen floor!

McKayz Sat 27-Oct-12 06:43:12

Oh Beans that's horrible. I hope little Chilli is ok.

Indith Sat 27-Oct-12 08:40:25

Poor puppy Beans sad

We have snow! Very lovely. Proper covering too. Shame I have to drive today, am slightly panicked by that. Road looks fine and I'm sure it will be but I HATE driving in snow.

VagolaJahooli Sat 27-Oct-12 14:52:23

ZJ I think the question is do you feel like putting in the time now to get her off the boob or later getting her off the dummy. Could you give her a bit of a feed then offer her the beaker with some milk. When we weaned Ds1 off the bedtime boob we slowly started giving him a bigger beaker until he was literally on the boob for a couple of minutes then asking for his beaker then one night I didn't offer it to him.

Effie I think our two are similar Ds1 was a bit slower than his classmates with the reading but then it just clicked, but maths he just gets easily. I think he understands the logic of maths (unlike his mother) & reading for him had no logic (both languages have strange rules). Is he left handed by any chance Eff?

Lady I meant to say a few days ago that my profession doesn't pay particularly well, but it has a lot of rewards in how it is viewed in society and the relationships I experience with colleagues and patients. But your DH has a job that people really don't seem to understand the social importance. If we had a shortage of criminal lawyers we would suffer more than we would if we have a shortage of nurses.

Bloody hell Beans, it doesn't rain it pours with you, you poor thing. Poor little chilli. To weigh in (though a little late) on the dog talk, I know it's difficult, but I think it is nice for kids to grow up with a dog, not essential of course but we had dogs, cats, horses, guinea pigs, chickens, sheep, cows & birds. It's brilliant growing up with animals, but in particular our dog Mack, holds a special place in my heart. He was a big stupid lug of a thing and we loved him.

VagolaJahooli Sat 27-Oct-12 14:54:55

Bit jealous of your snow Indith but we are going to see Madness in Amsterdam tonight so don't want any snowflakes messing with the trains.

Oh and yes I bought the boots. Lady you asked me something a page or so back but I cannot remember what it was so must go back and check.

VagolaJahooli Sat 27-Oct-12 15:12:42

Ah found it. Ds1's violin is good he still loves it, though trying to get him to practice is a chore. My friends loved doing the race really got the bug for it and have signed up for a 5km next weekend. DH & I are doing the 10km version of the same race. The plan is to get him to pace me to a 10km PB but I'm starting to regret that decision. I feel it may hurt some.

Austria for Christmas is quite exciting I haven't been on a Christmas ski trip since well before DH & I were married. I've managed to book a two bedroom apartment near Kaprun for a steal. Will comfortably fit us lot and my niece. Will be nice to be able to snowboard freely without the fear of being called back because dS2 has had enough of his skischool. We are going to drive over and stop overnight in Nuremberg for the Christmas markets.

Dh also has a conference in Barcelona and it goes over the date of my 40th. So as an apology for being that we are all going to fly down and meet him for 4 days. I was worried about the cost but at that time of year DH can get an apartment for week then we join him on the Thursday for such a tiny price and the flights are cheap too. So I think I will take. Him up on his guilt ridden offer. Also as again we will have my niece with us we can properly enjoy Barcelona.

EffiePerine Sat 27-Oct-12 17:17:01

Vag: yes, he is a lefty. He still finds writing a bit of a chore and mixes up a/e and b/d. I had connected the writing - left-handedness but the reading would make sense too.

VagolaJahooli Sat 27-Oct-12 17:45:09

Same here with DS1 reading he still gets b/d mixed up. A and E less so now but always writes E, 2, 5 & 7 backwards. I have three friends here with lefties all the same, excellent at maths but just a little behind with reading. I believe, & so do the other mums of lefties, that their comprehension is better than some of their friends, which for me is the most important skill he can learn in relation to reading.

Indith Sat 27-Oct-12 17:52:18

Ds1 is left handed too but he reads very well and always has his nose in a book. Numbers however......All different I guess!

McKayz Sat 27-Oct-12 18:23:47

Gosh this lefty chat is interesting. Both boys are lefties and DS1 really struggles with a/e and b/d. Never put it down to being left handed though. He much prefers doing maths and it can be a real struggle to get him to practice his writing.

Doesn't being left handed skip a generation? Both my Mum and MIL are left handed so we are expecting DD to be as well. Also XMIL is left handed and all 4 of her grandchildren are too. But not sure if it is just a coincidence.

EffiePerine Sat 27-Oct-12 22:16:47

Kayz: I think left handed ness has a genetic element, but it's more common in boys than girls. I think there's a debate over dyslexia for that reason: again, more common in boys and more common if you are left handed. But as you're less likely to be a lefty and a girl, it might be a false correlation (if that's the right term).

EffiePerine Sat 27-Oct-12 22:18:11

Btw both of DH's grandfathers were left handed, as is his father and his brother. Not sure how he missed out!

ugh. Just had a truly hideous, screaming row with DP sad.
Short-term annoyance is that I wanted to spend this evening preparing for my interviews (I now have one on Monday as well as Tuesday).
Longer-term realisation is that I now realise DP will only ever be happy in London and I'm pissed off that it's taken me until now (and all the emotional and financial investments we've made here) to really and truly realise it.
I don't want to make this about the whys or who is to blame. But I understand that the only way we can be together (for him to not be a depressed shell of his former self) is to be back there).
For those who live in London, please tell me about why it's great. I need some serious reassurance that downsizing with two small people can be a great idea (other than the stark reality that both of us work in professions where 95% of the jobs are based in London and we currently have no income).
I feel very sad about the idea of leaving this general area (Sussex) but sadder at the alternative. So I need motivation, inspiration and practical ideas as to where would be good but not extortionate to live.
Sorry for me post. Am just at a v low ebb, B has an ear infection and still up all night every night, and feeling the pressure to get one of these jobs for which I am currently underprepared.

VagolaJahooli Sat 27-Oct-12 22:51:11

As far as I know there is no one on either side of our families who was left handed...ever. The only relation we have who is left handed is my step father. However, children of his generation, so also my own mum & dad's, in Australia, were made to sit on their left hand a forced to write with their right hand. Obviously so were previous generations, so it's possible that my great relations and beyond had a lefty in there somewhere, but had the left handedness suppressed.

Just on the way back from Madness concert, was so much fun. I am so loving getting back into seeing live music. Would love to check out some of the smaller venues in Den Haag that have good live music. Makes me feel a little younger. However, I think these days dancing to the Madness ska beat I look just a little less cool, well, more strange old lady gyrating.

VagolaJahooli Sat 27-Oct-12 23:05:32

Sorry Spot cross posted. I'm probably not much help as I'm feeling a little home sick for London esp after seeing Madness. We have a super cheap flat in London near canary warf but you would def be downsizing it has a very tiny bathroom and while it has three bedrooms one is quite small, & the livingroom is quite small. Also not the best area for schools. So really I'm no help. He is being quite unfair with this, really you need to sit down together and work out if this option is viable, not just him throwing an unhelpful strope.

DB I forgot to say I agree with you DSIS, more importantly she has a good perspective on this because she knows DS and knows what he is really like and can see that he isn't the boy that nursery makes him out to be. It really makes me sad how boys are so misunderstood these days. Normal boy behavior is so frowned on and put down and they are surprised when they become frustrated and then they label them as difficult when they act on this frustration.

Thing is, Vag, it is not just an unhelpful strop, I think he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. sad. He is depressed every day. It is quite hard to live with.

Rubena Sun 28-Oct-12 00:01:46

Oh Spot. Have just logged on to read but must get sleep then will re-read it all tomorrow (Apols just back from working and knackered, mainly from arguing with dh from NY over plumbing disaster in out tenanted flat to be fair!) however, am concerned about you lot sad and want to reply. Hang in there x
Beans, oh no hows Chilli what happened!!?? shock

VagolaJahooli Sun 28-Oct-12 00:07:53

Do you think all of that is to do with where you are living? I can understand that not being happy with where he is living making him feel unhappy, but he is obviously down and pinning it all on where you live, & thinking that moving will make it all better. To be so low about this seems an extreme reaction the stimuli. I think he might need to see a GP. If he is depressed, just moving won't help he might need counselling or even meds.

We got snow too. Only stayed on the cars, but blimey I could feel it on the cycle home, I thought me ears were going to freeze orf.

McKayz Sun 28-Oct-12 06:24:13

Spot, I don't know what to say really. But Vag could be right, what if moving to London doesn't make any difference. I think he should go and see his GP. At least get some form of help, as if you do decide to move it won't happen next week. It could be months before you find a house, schools etc.

I can't help with places as I only know tourist London.

Hope you are ok. xx

McKayz Sun 28-Oct-12 06:29:57

Also would he be happy with outside London but closer than you are now? There needs to be some sort of compromise here. It is no good moving if it will make you really unhappy.

Rubena Sun 28-Oct-12 07:42:59

Spot how are u today? Hope u didn't get too early a wake up call from B&T. I tend to agree with Vag. Sounds like he's assuming the issues are all related to moving out if London. Don't forget moving is bloody stressful, even more so when you own the house and throw kids into the mix. I reckon he needs to sort out what the real problem is and then decide if moving is a good idea. Also I'm not against London at all but can't really understand why anyone would move BACK into London with young kids. Unless a big house and garden and parking etc it well affordable, (then i still wouldn't want to!) But also tend to think it makes much more sense to live out a bit with good train connections. But that's just me, and only you two can decide what's best for you all but above all I think he needs to chat to someone before big decisions like selling up and moving are made.

Rubena Sun 28-Oct-12 07:46:56

It's bloody cold here Vag. 2 degrees right now.
Beans what is going on with Chilli?

DeidreBarlow Sun 28-Oct-12 07:54:04

Oh spot, things sound so tough for you right now! I'm on phone so posting will be crap. I know nothing of London but you cannot simply move back for DP if it will be you that is then unhappy. Are the outskirts of London an option? I really wish I could say more to help sad

Both DCs are lefties, as is DH. DD has beautiful handwriting and is fine with letters. Yet does still occasionally get 2,5,7 the wrong way round. Interesting.

Rubena Sun 28-Oct-12 07:59:26

I missed some posts somewhere. Anyway. DH left handed and looks like DS is too. In right and DD seems to be. DS is mini DH on all counts and DD is me. Poor girl. She also rambles. Hasn't shut up since 18 mths. Remember ds didn't talk for ages. DH still doesn't grin

RTchoke Sun 28-Oct-12 08:12:43

Good morning all,

Spot - you poor thing, not a nice atmosphere in which to prepare for important interviews. I do agree with Veg though, depression comes from within and when depressed it's easy to pin your unhappiness on some external factor and blame that. Location is an obvious thing to blame as you then feel you can physically run away from the feelings, but you can't run from your inner feelings. Your DP needs to seek treatment before forcing a disruptive and expensive move on the family.

Re London: I live here and love as a family city. I love the range of activities on offer and the sheer numbers of other people means you are likely to find local friends with similar interests etc. However, it's not all great. The kids will never have the freedom here that they would have somewhere smaller: the busy roads and sheer number of people mean, for example, I'd never let mine walk to school or play out. Plus primary schools aren't great unless you can afford to live in a good catchment area and secondary schools are in the main pretty dire. Secondary seems a long way off but it's not really if you don't want to keep repeating the expense of house moves.

You asked for areas. Near us is Acton, it's a large area and much of it is pretty uninspiring but Acton village is quite nice with some independent shops and cafes and a mainline station. Derwent Water primary is meant to be good. Nearer your old stomping ground I have a few friends who've recently moved to Walthamstow and seem happy. To the south Herne Hill has good schools (incl a great state secondary) and it's bear lovely Brockwell Park, although I'm not sure it's actually that cheap anymore.

Right better go and breakfast the girls who've been fibbed off watching Mama Mia up to now.

Just wanted to say a huge welcome back to EFFIE. It's so lovely to "see" you again. I'm sorry work has been hard but glad is setlling down and your DS is happy. Don't disappear on us again!

And Beans I hope Chilli is on the mend.

Indith Sun 28-Oct-12 09:57:07

Oh spot you poor thing. I agree he needs to have a chat with someone and sort through his feelings to find the root of the problem before jumping into another change. Although of course the work thing is in itself a pretty strong reason. If he talks to his GP then perhaps he may be able to get some CBT? That would be pretty helpful in heloing him to recognise his behaviour, triggers and so on.

I can't help on the London thing, I went once when I was 10 then went to get my DofE presented. I'd have thought it would have some good stuff goign for it, the amount of free and interesting museums etc as the children grow older for example.

I guess the question is what does he miss about London? Is the a comprmise to be found where you live somewhere where you can be in London for a day trip fairly easily but that has a decent social aspect? But then again I suppose that kind of life is about as affordable as London itself.

I have a poorly baby. The others didn't get anything more than a cold and swine flu this young. He is so grumpy and clammy and he keeps bringing up sticky, yellow foam sick hmm. Not sure how worries I should be. He has not fed at all yet today, hopefully he will when he wakes up (asleep on me).

EffiePerine Sun 28-Oct-12 10:38:23

Spot; I may be being unsympathetic to your DH, but I can't see a massive amount of difference between commuting from outside London and working f/t and living in London and doing the same. What exactly does he feel is missing? It does sound like he is pinning everything on a move which may not solve any of the underlying issues. And when you have children you need to think about what is practical and affordable - and learn to compromise.

EffiePerine Sun 28-Oct-12 10:41:58

And thanks for the lovely welcome back everyone smile.

Chilly here and our heating has once more gone on the blink. The advantages of renting means that it isn't us who foots the bill whenever the creaky system falls over again. And the advantages to living in a friendly town: I phoned the plumber who fixed it last time and he's popping over after he's collected his boy from football in case it's a quick fix.

sybilfaulty Sun 28-Oct-12 14:04:48

Spot I LOVE London and don't really want to live anywhere else right now. So much to do with the kids, with friends, with DH, great parks, easy drive to proper country, so much energy and Vibrancy here. Sorry things are tough. can we tempt you up for a few beers at the meet up. TaLking of which, any closer on fixing a day?

Excuse rubbish typing. Bloody iPad

Rubena Sun 28-Oct-12 17:36:31

Can I emphasise the "but that's just me" part of my post earlier post! There are a lot of pro's to living in London with kids, just depends on each person's individual situation I reckon. ie finances, kids interests, parent's work. DH will be back working in London again next year, but my kids would go stir crazy - as would the dog, so I was happy to move out of Wimbledon when we did. Then there's me, the worry freak about traffic / kids etc. But for some it's a better choice. I think above all though Spot, you need to identify why dp thinks it will fix everything, and what he misses.
Had about 4 hours sleep and then spent all morning looking for a coffee machine. Had lovely brunch with the whole family though -rare these days!
Take away and Strictly / X Factor catch up is looking likely.
Yes lets firm up a meet up date. Vag are you about?

Thanks for all your kind words, folks. It's hard to explain, but the depression genuinely is situational - DP has always loved in London and loved it there, and what he misses most is having friends on the doorstep. He doesn't make friends easily and they're very important to him (much more so than to me, for example - ironically I have made more here, because it's much easier as a "mum' here to make friends).
Also, the job thing is a massive issue. For the last 5 year he's been home based, so totally isolated since we moved from London when T was 8 months old, and has ben through two bouts of my PND since then - and I am practically the only grownup he sees from day to day.

It's also a sensibility thing. Some people just need the culture of cities and simply don't value the extra square footage you get elsewhere. I do see where he's coming from, but we;re just operating from different starting points - I feel happy and settled here, so it's not as if everything is equal. But he hates it so much, and I do think that moving back (and getting a job, which is much easier when you are already in the thick of it - meeting people for drinks, etc) would solve a whole lot. It's just the fact that we don't have ANY money right now, and i'm feeling the looming deadline of the January school application cut off point.

Thank you for your suggestions of good places, Arti - Walthamstow would be a good choice as it's nearer my mum's (Cambridgeshire), although if I got the job I'm going for on Tuesday I'd need to be in Kensington. (which is only 1hr 20 from here anyway).

Can def be tempted by beers at meet up - really want to come along and actually meet some of you guys for the first time.

What hideous times did your DC wake up this morning with the clock changing shenanigans?

Sorry about your poorly DS, Indith. Does he have a temperature?

I think B is a lefty. According to DP it means they're more likely to be good at football..<pension alert>

RTchoke Sun 28-Oct-12 19:15:03

If you are really sure London will "fix" your DH Spot then maybe it's worth exploring. I realise I didn't sound that enthusiastic about London life earlier. I do love it. I can see your DH's point about wanting to be near old friends, I have many old friends spread across the town and many newer friends in my neighbourhood and the combo makes for a pretty constant string of people to see and parties to go to - I love that. This weekend we collected autumn leaves and watched the deer in Richmond Park and sheltered from the cold with a free afternoon at the Science Museum which the kids love: we had so many options, London is all about choice. Last weekend we had an early Halloween party and we had 12 kids all of whom live within 3 mins walk of us and I do like that close proximity of so many friends. There are great things about London and of course you know that already.

Quick Christmas question for you all (sorry I know it's Oct). Before kids DH and I used to spend 2 hours on Christmas morning delivering Christmas dinners to the elderly and isolated. Meals on Wheels doesn't operate on Christmas day so DH's old school steps in to serve our Borough. It felt a great thing to do, you only deliver to about three addresses but you stay and chat a bit and realise you are the only contact these people will have all day and it feels important. We've wanted to do it again, it would be 10am-12 noon so after the kids have opened their pressies and before DH's parents serve the family lunch. Perfect timing. But DD1 is distraught at our Christmas routine changing (we normally play at home then go early to PiL's and fo not help cook. I think it would be great for DD1 to see how lucky our family is and I've tried to explain how good it feels to help others at Christmas but she is adamant she doesn't want to. Would it be wrong to make her? I don't want to make her sad at Christmas but I also want her to realise it's not all about her.

Indith Sun 28-Oct-12 20:22:26

RT that sounds wonderful!

Is there any sort of volunteering that she can do too? Perhaps it would make her realise how fun it can be to help others, even if maybe she comes along to a couple of houses with the grandparents and then goes home again?

Well I can think of better ways to spend a Sunday, just home from hospital with ds2 who is still not keeping any feeds down, just projectile vomming as soon as he has fed. they let us home as he has kept small amounts of rehydration stuff down so we have some with us and strict instructions on amounts of fluid. I am def going to have to clean the sofas. on the plus side a couple of days or so with no solids might sort his constipation out!

sybilfaulty Sun 28-Oct-12 20:30:26

Indith, poor little fellow, hope he recovers soon. Try to get some rest too, you must be shattered.

RT, I think that that is a lovely idea. Could you do stockings first thing with perhaps one present which could come with you on the trip, then do the rest with PIL? I try to make the DC choose one (nice) toy each from theirs which we can give to charity, then when we are in Asda they choose a small toy each for the Christmas scheme which gives brand new stuff to kids who otherwise won't get anything. Thinking about other people is a big part of Christmas, so I think it's great to try to incorporate it into your day. Good on you.

I have a strange feeling that DC3 could be a wee boy, but am usually wrong. Are you going to find out?

Right, off to have supper and Downton. Night all.

EffiePerine Mon 29-Oct-12 08:20:25

Having dissed living in London, am thinking of a trip to the Museum of Childhood today to sample the half term activities (they have Scalextric sets to play with!).

Indith Mon 29-Oct-12 08:35:08

museum of childhood sounds awesome!

JamInMyWellies Mon 29-Oct-12 09:18:38

I would have done MofC today sounds great and they have a lovely cafe,plus free entry to somewhere is always appealing. But I already have the boys booked into a halloween crafting thing.

VagolaJahooli Mon 29-Oct-12 13:04:12

Oh I love the Museum of Childhood, not only did DS1 & I spend many happy hours there, but when I first moved to the UK I lived just down the road at the old Q.E.2 hospital for kids. It does have a lovely cafe.

Indith sorry about your little one, I was going to say try getting dioralyte in with a little syringe but a visit to the A&E is never a bad idea when there is the risk of dehydration in kids.

Ds1 has had a loose tooth for ages, so long that the new tooth was starting to pop up behind it. It was his first loose tooth and he was very nervous of it falling out as he thought it would hurt. He has gone to sleep every night laying on his side with his mouth open. Anyway it finally fell out last night when he was brushing his teeth. Bless him he is chuffed to bits. He has insisted on taking it to school in a jar to parade about and then will put it under his pillow tonight.

Beans36 Mon 29-Oct-12 13:18:13

Spot, if you really think it will make a difference to DH, then go for it. I think London can be a most fantastic place to live. Certainly, I loved Streatham. Admittedly, having moved out, I do love being out, but when I was there, everything was so convenient and there was so much to do for kids and easy to make friends etc. although commute from here only 30mins on train, which works well too.

Chilli all better now and on great form. Actually surprised to find I'm glad she's back!

Have to walk her now, but back later.

Half term not a joy so far. Mostly because we're up so sodding early!


Beans36 Mon 29-Oct-12 17:47:55

I just bought these! My trusty old gorgeous boots have bust finally. Sob.

Beans36 Tue 30-Oct-12 08:13:29

Where've you all gone?
Been up since 3am. Nothing to do with the children this time. Had a terrible nightmare about Dad and when I woke up it was true. Shit. Didn't go back to sleep! Wish it wasn't half term!

And my sister I'm closest to isn't talking to me for some reason. Yawn.

I'm feeling my age at the moment. Body falling apart!

Have I broken the thread???

RTchoke Tue 30-Oct-12 08:37:32

You haven't broken the thread Beans. Sorry to hear of your dream and your sister. Have you asked her what's wrong? The dreams are horrible, but eventually you start dreaming about spending time with the man you knew and loved and then they are a gift.

I had a very odd and hard day yesterday. I'm having this very new form of prenatal testing at the Fetal Medicine Centre and yesterday I went for a blood test. Do you remember I told you my oldest, closest, luckiest friend was due the same day as me? Well on Sun night she called to celebrate us both hitting the 11 week Mark and I told her of the test and my secret hope they might scan me to. She was v excited that I might see the baby. So yesterday I get to the Centre and sure enough they wanted to scan me. I was nervous as hadn't seen baby since 7 weeks and DH not with me but thankfully the scan was lovely: baby doing gymnastics etc. Icon out of the room feeling excited and jubilant for the first time this pregnancy and immediatly texted my friend all about what I'd seen. Two mins later she replied to say she'd had been rushed to hospital that morning and her baby was dead and she needed surgery. I'm devastated for her and obviously felt awful about my text. I'm v conscious I will now be a constant reminder to her of what could have been and I want to do everything to minimise that hurt without causing awkwardsness etc. Normally we talk about everything and I have no idea how to handle this going forward. I just want to help her. I also have a strong feeling of "there but by the grace of God go I".

RTchoke Tue 30-Oct-12 08:39:32

Prey, that should have said "loveliest" friend, not luckiest. Luckiest is sadly not true at the moment.

RTchoke Tue 30-Oct-12 08:44:11

Argh, that shld be sorry not prey, I better sign off now!

VagolaJahooli Tue 30-Oct-12 08:45:18

I'm here Beans sorry would have been on earlier but was tidying this tip of a house and trying to find out what has happened overnight in the US. Seriously, what happened to news being just about reporting the news. CNN is so crap in 15 minutes they had 3 mins of vague reporting on the storm mostly talking about whether a board walk got too much dune sand on it & saying Super storm Sandy a lot, & dramatically. The rest was ads.

So I've given up now, poor you Beans that is so sad. You know lucky we have the anniversary of our lovely little bundles births to look forward to, because otherwise this time of year is a bit crap for this thread. Poor Lady has a sad week or two ahead of her.

VagolaJahooli Tue 30-Oct-12 08:52:42

Oh god RT that is just horrid, so so so unfair. There is a little person that will never get to be. Your poor friend. I think those who have experienced this would no better but maybe just let her know you want to be there for her when she needs you. She needs some time. Does she other kids? Could you offer to take them to give her a break, or drop a casserole/lasagne/some meal over to give her & hubby some sustenance.

Beans36 Tue 30-Oct-12 08:57:02

Oh RT, that's so sad. Please please don't worry about you being a reminder. I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks before DD1 and my friend told me she was pregnant just a few days later. We would have been due the same time. And I bore no resentment at all, I was very happy for her, although still sad for me. But I felt she was very lucky and I was a bit jealous, but not in a cross way.

I'm glad your scan was lovely - how many weeks are you now? And you're not to spend your pregnancy feeling guilty. Please. Dont' worry about the text, it's a normal one to send. Just call her and tell her you love her and ask if there's anything you can do to help.


JamInMyWellies Tue 30-Oct-12 09:46:01

RT how sad. But please don't fret. I had a miscarriage in between my two and my DSIS was also preg we were due within a wk of each other. And although I was sad I was very happy for my sister.

Beans hugs to you lovey.

This hurricane is a nightmare my best friend and her DHs bar has been badly flooded in NJ. Also no idea what's happening with our flights on Thurs. according to the marathon website it's all still going ahead.

McKayz Tue 30-Oct-12 10:38:14

Oh RT that's so sad for your friend. Please don't worry about the text. Give her a ring and see if there is anything you can do.

Honsandrevels Tue 30-Oct-12 11:23:13

RT My friend had a miscarriage when I was pregnant with dd1. I cried buckets for her and also selfishly because we couldn't share being pregnant together anymore. She was brilliant and never made it difficult even though I know it was painful for her.

Take your friend a meal or cake (maybe both) and just be guided by her.

Hello beans, glad your pup is better. I used to have awful dreams about my brother after he died but like RT said, dreams I have about him now are really nice.

EffiePerine Wed 31-Oct-12 08:48:11

Beans: take it easy on yourself. You are getting through the days and enjoying your girls, and frankly that sounds like a massive achievement to me.

RT: so sorry to hear about your friend sad. I can't see that you have been insensitive - quite the opposite. I'm sure she trusts you to be careful and considerate with her, otherwise you wouldn't have been friends for so long.

Rubena Wed 31-Oct-12 08:54:07

Sorry for your friend RT but as others have said, don't feel guilty for sending that text. How on earth were you to know. It's a normal text to send. If she's a good friend she will be happy for you & just need time for herself. I'd play it by ear. sad
Congrats to you on your scan though, even if its off the back of some very sad news.
Have been to Costco to stock up. But was rushed as we were sorting out a big plumbing disaster then ran out of time so dh had to leave to collect kids. We were both rushing around Very tired and inadvertently bought 32 kitchen rolls instead of 12 kitchen rolls and 24 toilet rolls blush we are fully covered for spillages in this house.
It seems I'm falling apart. I have an injured knee cap and something wrong with my Achilles which apparently means I need to build up one of the muscles above my knee which is very week and do stretches and exercise but not running ( no worries there lol) as this will make ir worse. And possibly not drive in heels.
Am getting old.
Beans sorry bout your nightmare. Heard this is normal after your recent times.
I've been talked into soft play today. Am dreading it to be fair. Will be a shambles in half term.

Beans36 Wed 31-Oct-12 09:26:49

Oh Rubes, I feel your pain. I, too, am falling apart! Can sometimes feel my wattle bit under my chin wobbling a bit. How rank!

So, dog has grown on me, which is great! She's basically very sweet, and can't help her bladder, but she's getting better. I caught her in squat position for a poo this morning and whisked her ourside! She did her business outside, thankfully!

Just baking a lemon drizzle cake. Yum. Seriously, it's not even 9.30. Cursing those clocks going back. I took a load of night nurse last night and had best night's sleep in weeks. I have actually got a horrible cold, so don't feel that I'm doing it gratuitously!! Although I would have taken it anyway!

DH off to see his sister's new baby on Friday. She had a little girl called Molly on 12th. V sweet. She's coming down to see her parents next weekend, so I'll meet her then. Brilliant!

Taking girls to see Madagascar 3 tomorrow with MIL. Looking forward to it. Just need to find someone to feed the dog as its over lunchtime!

Look at me! No mention of Dad in nearly whole post!!

McKayz Wed 31-Oct-12 11:09:22

Rubes, I am also falling apart. My right knee is killing me, it's a family problem as my granddad had bad knees and myMum and both my uncles have dodgy knees. I have a dr appt tomorrow to see if they can do something.

Also getting my hair cut and coloured for the first time in almost 7 months. Just before I got married was the last time.

We're trying to get DD to nap in her cot. I'm ignoring little grumbles but going up for proper cries.

And there she goes again

poisondwarf Wed 31-Oct-12 15:30:47


Yes, so long time no see. I don't think I've posted since last time I met up with LadyT which was probably April or something - purely coincidence Lady - it was fab to see you as always! Anyway, shocking behaviour I know. I just don't seem to get on the PC as much as I used to. I've got a smartphone and tablet now which sort of do me for internet use but are absolute cack for MN, even for just lurking. Nice to see I've been missed though (thanks Rubes - missed you too!)

Anyway am off work this week (hurrah!) so have put aside some time to catch up with you all. I missed you!

Kayz congrats on the birth of DD! (yes it's that long since I posted)

Beans so sorry to hear about your Dad - it sounds as if he will be much missed. He was lucky to have such a caring family, and you are lucky to have lots of fond memories to look back on. It's funny you mention dreaming about your dad - you might remember mine died last year and I sort of expected to start dreaming about him a lot but in fact I rarely do. When I do though it's funny and quite comforting how the image of how he was before he died is wiped out to be replaced by how he really was (unfortunately not very nice sometimes in my dad's case).

RT congrats on your brilliant news too. How exciting. I can't remember if you found out if the sex last time. Are you going to this time around? And I hope that your friend's terribly sad news doesn't take the shine off your enjoyment.

There was loads more to say (not least did you try an ice cream sandwich in Trieste lady?). spot also wanted to send sympathy for your predicament - would love to chat to you about it though but running out of time now.

Did I see talk of a meet-up? Can someone post a link or the date? Would be fab to see some of you again - really enjoyed the last one I went to. Vag are you coming over any time soon?

Oh bumholes DP's family have just arrived - we are trick or treating with his cousin & some of DS's friends. Anyone else trick or treating this evening? I'm really looking forward to it but still have a broomstick to make.

Everyone else I missed - HELLO!

Will try & get back on soon ...x

VagolaJahooli Wed 31-Oct-12 21:04:04

My phone battery is about to die so just saying Hoi! To PD, lovely to see you, we've just had young Effie pop back in so it's nice to see you young PD. We have just gotten back from trick or treating too and I loved it too. I think it's a brilliant American cultural import. They love it over here.

KiwiPanda Thu 01-Nov-12 12:49:30

Hello all! Just popping in, must catch up properly. How are you doing Beans? Have been thinking of you lots.

Life slightly hectic at mo with full time working, DH with a broken ankle therefore can't do any of the boring mundane stuff like washing, laundry*, running upstairs to get DD2's nappy changed etc. So I am knackered.

* Not that he knows how to do this anyway, mind.

Beans36 Thu 01-Nov-12 16:08:28

Can you get a nappy changing zone downstairs, Kiwi? We did with DD2 and it made a WORLD of difference... Especially as DD1 was still in nappies when DD2 arrived.

Someone immensely kind has nominated me for MN Christmas list thing. If it was any of you, I want to say a big old thank you! Very kind indeed.

Are we secret santa-ing this year? I hope so! I'd offer to be the one whose DH matched everyone up, but given I rarely see him, I suspect it won't be him! He is working so much!

Although, having said that, he came home early last night to come with me to the village playfields to take the girls to Halloween do. It was absolutely lovely and DD1 WON the fancy dress competition! All thanks to my wonderful facepainting, I'm sure. She's convinced she won because she was holding her hat on properly. Very sweet.

I think I probably won the prize for the worst parenting skills... I let both DDs have a sparkler and DD2 picked it up by the hot end after it had gone out!!!!! Cue much screaming, cured by a packet of mini-Haribo. There is a small blister, but it could have been so much worse. So, be warned, however advanced your 2 year old may seem be, sparklers are still dangerous!!!

And today we've been to see Madagascar 3 with MIL, then out to Pizza Express for lunch. Brilliant. Lovely babysitter came and looked after Chilli for us so we could go out from 9.30-2.30. Heaven. And now I can relax a bit while the girls play on my iPad. Izz took it upon herself to paint Pru's face, as I left the facepaints out. Rather sweet really. A massive stack of logs arrived this morning and I started moving them round to DH's home constructed rubbish log shelter, but rather lost the will to live and figure he can do most of it as it's man work.

Am I a rubbish wife? I did two loads, but DD1 started bawling because she didn't know where I was, so I leapt on the excuse had to give up!

Beans36 Thu 01-Nov-12 16:08:55

PS Kiwi, meant to ask how you're finding full time work?

VagolaJahooli Thu 01-Nov-12 17:11:57

Wasn't me, what is the Christmas list? Whatever it is you deserve it Beans. And log movement is definitely a man's job.

ZuleikaJambiere Thu 01-Nov-12 17:43:38

Surely log movement is Beans' forte? <snigger>

McKayz Thu 01-Nov-12 19:24:11

Awww Beans that is lovely. I've been nominated too. A complete shock, and people call MN a bunch of vipers

Beans36 Thu 01-Nov-12 22:43:55

Hee hee, ZJ!
It must be one of you lovely lot as I'm not on any other threads. So thank you.

DH and I shifted all the logs tonight. My back hurts and my hands are raw, but it's quite satisfying!

Night night. X

Indith Fri 02-Nov-12 08:58:40

urgh too much to catch up on. Must do it though!

Glad you are doing ok. You certainly deserve a little treat, glad someone on here was on the ball and nominated you smile

So sunday was spent in hospital while ds1 puked lots. Monday afternoon ds2 still poorly, dd starts spewing. Tues dd sleeps, ds2 just about recovers and definitely becomes unconstipated (resulted in a full was load all by itself that did). Wed dd spews again and spends another morning chucking up bile into a bowl on a reglar basis.

we are now all ok I think except ds2 has a cold. ds1 has missed out touch wood. so, one day of half term left to have fun!

the baby is soooooo clingy to me at the moment (started before he was ill). he only reall sleeps on me. if dh has him and I walk into the room he reaches out for me. at night he looks for me too.

LadyThompson Fri 02-Nov-12 14:17:56

I'm waaaaay behind but just wanted to say I got back from Trieste ok and then went straight to Mum's, got back last night. Bit of a crazy rush as am going out at 4.30 (to see James Bond film with DP...not my first choice but I'm sure it will be ok...) then I have my stepmother coming tomorrow morn and she's staying for the weekend as it's the first anniversary of Dad's death on Sun. Then on Sunday night I am off to the radio recording of WG's DH's show so will see Spot and KP there, I gather. Excellent!

Anyway, won't be catching up until Mon but I did want to say hello and sorry to hear about your friend, RT. From what I know of her, I doubt she'd hild anything against you, but how awfully sad.

Love to all. Wotcha PD! Glad I didn't drive you off grin

RTchoke Fri 02-Nov-12 18:14:38

Hey Ladies

I had my nuchal test today and the results weren't great. The baby's nuchal fold is thicker than average although not above 3.5mm which is when the NHS recommends an amnio. I await my combined results and the results of the special new test I had at the Fetal Medicine Centre last week bit I'm a bit stressed. You probably don't remember but I had the same kind of result with DD2 so I've been here before and she was healthy. It's hard though as I need to te work urgently and this uncertainty could go on for weeks and I can't hide it for that ling so will have to announce anyway.

I think I might be about to eat a whole tub of Haagan Dass.

Beans36 Fri 02-Nov-12 18:45:45

Oh RT, will keep it all crossed for you. What a worry. But hopefully all will be well as it was with DD2. Poor you. Thinking of you in stressful times. I am going to eat a tube of Pringles while you ear ice cream.

Big big hugs xxx

RTchoke Fri 02-Nov-12 18:48:56

God I need to keep away from google. Am now much more worried as Dr Gpogle says my nuchsl measurement gives 1:45 chance of Downs. Hospital said nothing like that. The Internet can be a curse sometimes.

Beans36 Fri 02-Nov-12 20:13:58

DON'T GOOGLE! Heavens, it makes everything seem terrible.

DD2 in a big bed tonight. And when I say big, I mean bloody HUGE! She looks so diddy and sweet in it! But so far so good. No squeaking. But she is a real wriggler, so who knows how long it'll last!

I'm drinking rose Sancerre. And about to have a curry as DH seeing his sister this weekend, back tomorrow pm. Yumbo! X

LadyThompson Fri 02-Nov-12 21:30:02

Just ducking in again. James Bond film was most enjoyable (don't know why I am surprised).

RT - when I had O, was given a 1:96. You'll remember I had a CVS. Your risk is prob nothing like 1 in 45 cos they have to factor in all the other info and elements to give an overall picture so try not to worry (easy for me to say I know).

Rubena Fri 02-Nov-12 22:09:46

RT I have a friend who had a high risk score and v high after the amnio. (1:14) Docs advised termination (US) she booked then last minute changed her mind. She had a 100% healthy baby. Wait for all the figures, and try not to worry as you're not even anywhere near that. I feel for you as this stuff was my biggest worry in both pregnancies. Remember your hormones make everything seem much worse (as does google! - I'm the worst for that)

Lady, we're going to see that next week. Glad it was good as not my first choice either hmm

VagolaJahooli Fri 02-Nov-12 22:15:40

Oh no just heard on the news the NYC marathon has been cancelled. Poor MrJam.

RT I wish I could say something to make you feel better. I had a friend who went through similar and her scans showed possible cardiac problems as well as the neck thickening. However, everything was fine in the end baby completely normal. I know that doesn't help. If you do decide to have the amnio, I think the risks these days are a lot less than they used to be.

Lady I quite like James bond movies but i haven't seen any of Danial Craig's movies (as JB). I think i would quite like to see this one at the movies. When i was travelling across to India my friends and i used to listen to the James bond theme song album.

sybilfaulty Sat 03-Nov-12 07:47:54

RT, was this nuchal done at FMC? I only ask as I know several women who have had worrying readings at hospital only to have everything confirme as fine by the FMC obstetricians. Could you have an amnio to put your mind at rest? The FMC would be able to do that for you quickly and get the results to you at bionic speed. Dr Google is notoriously pessimistic and should be avoided. THinking of you. Huge hugs. Hope the ice cream helped.

RTchoke Sat 03-Nov-12 08:36:27

So I spent last night searching old threads to find where I posted about DD2's nuchal as I neededto remind myself of what exactly happened with her. The search involved looking at several of our early ante natal threads and it was just lovely seeing how what a support we were to each other even only a few weeks after "meeting". We are a pretty unusual group I think ladies, when I compare our early bond and depth of posts to the May 2013 antenatal thread it's incomparable. But boy we could (and still can) talk!

Sybs, having dug out the threads from last time I realise I was 1:50 for Doens then the FMC nuchal took into account utter factors not covered by NHS and my risk reduced to 1:5500 so you are spot on. I'm going back to FMC a week on Monday to have full nuchal and results of this new prenatal test I had last week and they say that is 99.5% accurate for Downs. So it's just a waiting game really and it's only 9 days but right now that seems an eternity.

Sorry to me so Me Me Me. I realise I haven't even celebrated Poison Dwarf's return. Hi PD! We love it when you drop in.

We need to finalise the Lindon meet date before it slips again. What shall we do???? Someone make an executive decision.

Indith Sat 03-Nov-12 09:06:17

Huge hugs to you RT. I hope all further tests go well.

Sorry Jam household. Must be a strange atmosphere over there.

I've not seen a good Bond in ages. Not been to the cinema in ages. Friend has posted on FB they went to our local (someone described it as renting the dvd and inviting a bunch of strangers to watch it in your living room) cinema last night and something went wrong so they have only seen 2/3 of Skyfall grin.

sybilfaulty Sat 03-Nov-12 09:39:42

The FMC will sort you out, RT. 9 days seems ages but will fly by. We will hold your hand in the meantime. Take care and take it easy XXXXXXX

JamInMyWellies Sat 03-Nov-12 10:46:17

RT thinking of you.

So marathon has been cancelled gutted for DH but really feel its been very badly handled. They opened the expo yesterday and thousands of runners turned up to get their bibs and spend $$$$$$ on branded merchandise. They should have cancelled earlier.

It's a very strange city. North of 37th st you wouldn't know there was any problem. Shops resteraunts open etc. then the dividing line is the st our hotel is on. So we have had no power but we have had hot water.

The difficulty is and what is not clear back home how bad Staten Island is it looks like a disaster zone. Same as NJ. Where my best friend lives. Their bar is totalled. We have not been able to see her as trains are not running, to catch a bus means a 3 block long line. We are hoping the ferries will be back on so we can at least go give them a hug. There is a huge gas shortage on our ride into the city there was lines at the gas station several miles long.

Having lived in NY and met DH here and we got married here I am very sad for my 2nd home.

poisondwarf Sat 03-Nov-12 12:04:49

RT I'm sure all will turn out well in the end but it must still be such a worry. How come you have to tell your work so early? Nice that you've been able to give yourself a little reassurance in the meantime by looking at the old threads. Sometimes I wish I posted more about the DCs even just for that reason, as I don't keep a diary and have a terrible memory. I'm always amazed when people post stuff like 'DD went through a phase like that about 16 weeks and it lasted x and then y happened...' my DCs' babyhood is just a blur in comparison.

Yes it's amazing how lively this thread still is after 4 and a half years or so. I must try & get on more often. Mind you the less I come on the less I have to say when I do post!

So, in the spirit of charting the DCs' development, has anybody else's DD (or DS) discovered their bits? In the last few days DD has taken to rocking and rubbing herself up against the arm of the sofa whilst grunting and panting furiously. Quite amusing but also a little unsettling! Anyway she started doing it when we had people round the other day (only DP's mum & DC's cousin) and I didn't really know how to handle it. On one hand I don't want to make her feel bad but on the other I don't really want her doing it when we have guests. In the end I took her upstairs and told her she mustn't do that when we have visitors, but I felt dead mean as I would normally explain why she isn't allowed to do something so she had no comprehension of why she was being told off and was quite upset by it. Anybody else had similar experiences? I looked it up on MN and it is very common but could apparently last years!

Beans/Kayz what is this Christmas nomination thingie? Beans we too went to see Madagascar 3 yesterday, our first 3D experience. Note to self: sherbet, a 3 year old and 3D glasses are not a good combination. The film was okay but bloody hell £37 for the 4 of us (gulp). First time we've been outside the Saturday morning club when the whole family can go for a fiver. And probably the last.

Don't think I'll be checking out the Bond film but it would be great to see something enjoyable at the pictures. The last non-kids film I went to was the Inbetweeners which must have been well over a year ago now.

Indith your half term sounds like a whole heap of fun.

Jam not been following the NY thing for the last couple of days - will you be able to get back okay?

I could make an executive decision about the meet-up date if you like RT grin - if someone could post a link or the dates pretty please!

McKayz Sat 03-Nov-12 12:39:25

RT I'm sure it'll all be ok. The wait must be horrible but try and keep your mind of things. How is DD2?

DH is taking the boys to see Madagascar 3 tomorrow. I'm going to wander round York with DD if its nice.

PD, the Christmas thing is the MN Christmas appeal. You can nominate people who are nice or have had a rough time etc to get presents from a Mumsnetter. I couldn't believe it when I got the email saying I'd been nominated.

DeidreBarlow Sat 03-Nov-12 12:56:26

Oh RT, how worrying. I'm sure all will be absolutely fine. The 9 days will pass soon enough. You must vent your feelings here as much as poss and we will chat lots to try and take your mind of it as best we can.

PD lovely to hear from you.

Just back from a lovely week in the Cotswolds with the family. Ladyt I know we spoke about trying to meet up. But I realised you were away at your mums and I think I was a fair way from you. Maybe next time. Anyway its a beautiful part of the country. We stayed in a massive house with mum, dad and my sister and her brood. Drunk too much and ate too much!

Tonight is FILs 70th meal out...........

SummerLightning Sat 03-Nov-12 13:14:22

Hi all, pd here is meet up thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/meetups/1577265-December-08-Mums-pre-Christmas-meet-up?msgid=35163197#35163197

Rt fingers crossed 9 days time. Step away from google! Hard I know!

Jam balls about the marathon! HoMpe you get to see your friends. Pretty shocking stuff.

Just waiting for dh to get back from us but west coast. Been away the last week.

Lovely to hear from pd and effie!

poisondwarf Sat 03-Nov-12 13:44:51

Thanks for the link SL. Have cheekily suggested a firm date (Friday 23rd) but obviously since I'm practically a gatecrasher you can all tell me to bog off if no good!

Can't wait to hear about the meal out tonight Deids - have a fab time and don't let that miserable fecker spoil it for everyone. Maybe you should start off with a whip round to shame him pay for his starter and dessert. Or just bring him a packet of biscuits or a lolly (or maybe one of those big dummies you get at fairgrounds) so he doesn't feel left out while you are having your puds.

DeidreBarlow Sat 03-Nov-12 15:02:36

Hah and so it begins... BIL's wife (miserable SIL) isn't coming tonight she has a migraine (she always has a migraine for family do's). So at least now they might have a starter. Although PD I actually love the idea of a whip round for himgrin.

FIL is now stressing there will be 13 of us at the table and this is clearly a sign of Armageddon hmm. So my other SIL is bringing her 8 yr old son to avoid catastrophic disaster and impending doom!! Oh joy. She rang to see if I minded. Why would I mind? My DC's are now the only grandchildren not in attendance at the so-called 'adults only' meal. I have rung ahead to the restaurant and specified 16 crates of wine just for me!!!

Indith Sat 03-Nov-12 15:24:50

I think you should go for cocktails before the meal. If you arrive half cut you might be able to survive the rest of it. Honestly you are a saint, there is no way I could have got this far without hitting some heads together, telling a few home truths and seriously insulting a lot of people!

VagolaJahooli Sat 03-Nov-12 21:07:46

Oh DB I am so waiting out for your post match analysis. I only wish that you come home and update on proceedings whilst sloshed. The 13 people took the biscuit and i nearly wet myself. He does realise that the number 13 is only a problem is your living in the 14th century and are one of the Knights Templar.

RT again I have no comforting words, but I do recommend the hot chocolate in the machine at the FMC and the toilets are lovely. I don't think there is anything you can do to stop worrying about this but we are here to listen to you whenever that fear gets too much for you.

DH and I have a 10km race together tomorrow, I'm quite excited. It is a dunes and beach run so I'm not expecting the best time, but i would like to get a good placing and I'll run as hard as i can.

McKayz Sat 03-Nov-12 21:26:46

Deids, is it wrong to be really looking forward to hearing about the meal?

We've just got in. DD is teething and had been in a huge grump all day. She was clearly tired but wouldn't/couldn't sleep. So we took her and the boys for a drive so she could sleep and they could see fireworks.

I wish her teeth would just hurry up.

DeidreBarlow Sun 04-Nov-12 08:47:27

Sorry to disappoint ladies it was actually okay in the end . Phew!

Although I did make a point at sitting at the other end of the table to BIL and I ordered what I wanted grin. I also had a few pre-meal drinks when I was getting ready so I was pretty 'relaxed' by the time we arrived. FIL ended up paying for the lot and someone is going to 'work out' what everyone owes...joy. Oh well at least it was avoided on the night.

We have bought FIL a hot air balloon ride over The Lakes which he was suited with so that was good.

I ate too much though. Must get my head back in the diet before Christmas.

Vag, have a good run!

Kayz, hope the impending teeth didn't keep you awake last night.

DeidreBarlow Sun 04-Nov-12 08:48:24

Why has the word 'diet' been linked to in my last postconfused I didn't do that!

RTchoke Sun 04-Nov-12 08:53:57

Awww, Deids, I was relying on you for a really good story this morning! In seriousness I'm glad you had fun.

Today is DH's gran's 92nd and we are going to lunch with 20 members of his family. His parents and siblings all know about my pregnancy but not the nuchal result. The plan was to tell is gran and others today (the baby will be her 10th great grandchild and she has been going on about wanting to get to 10). DH wants to go ahead and announce despite nuchal, I kind of want to as well but what if it's tempting fate? We did tell our girls on Friday and they are SO excited. DD1 keeps asking to see the scan photo and everytime she sees it she kisses it. It's all sonlivrly but could turn so terrible. I couldn't sleep all night thinking of it.

RTchoke Sun 04-Nov-12 08:55:03

Sonlivrly was meant to be "so lovely".

sybilfaulty Sun 04-Nov-12 09:25:04

RT, how hard for you. Do remember, though, that the "odds" are just that. If you had odds of 1:50, that means a 2% chance of a problem which is actually very low. You wouldn't put £££ on a horse at 50 to 1 would you? Also with N you had a similar problem which reduced to 1 in 5500 after the FMC reading so chances are the same will happen here. All will be well. Try to relax and enjoy your lunch. Huge hugs XXXX

EffiePerine Sun 04-Nov-12 13:03:17

RT: it's easy to say not to worry and nigh impossible to do it! A friend just had a v similar experience, only more worrying scans and an immediate CVS. All fine and it is such a relief.

Jam: I think it was you who recommended Vimto squash yonks ago. Have finally found the sugared version (we have the hard stuff here wink) and it is fab. Especially hot if you have an annoying cold.

McKayz Sun 04-Nov-12 14:13:07

What are the symptoms of a blocked duct or mastitis? Right boob hurts and is quite warm to touch as well. It's on the outside. Near where the wire stops if you're wearing an underwired bra. I feel fine so don't think it's mastitis but not too sure.

RT, hope all goes well today.

Indith Sun 04-Nov-12 17:09:57

If you have a lumpy, sore, hot bit then there is likely a blockage, you need to feed feed feed as much as possible on that side (though not at the expense of getting engorged ont eh other side and causing problems there). Try if possible to feed with her chin pointing towards the blockage which may involve some acrobatics but from what you;ve said rugby hold should work. If you start getting flu type symptoms then get yourself to the Dr as that would be mastitis.

McKayz Sun 04-Nov-12 17:19:14

That is just what it is like. Lumpy hot and sore. Will get feeding then.

EffiePerine Sun 04-Nov-12 18:03:37

Blocked ducts: you can also try massaging it under a hot shower (or hot flannel in the bath).

VagolaJahooli Sun 04-Nov-12 18:26:06

It's all been said start feeds on the effected side, feed often every 2 hrs if she will take it. Hot shower and gently massage pushing in towards the nipple from the sore bit. if massage hurts get a comb and just gently push it across your boob from the outside into the nipple. Drink loads and lots of fruit & veg if you can. Take some paracetamol to help with the pain but just still keep an eye on yourself for any other symptoms. They can come on quite quickly, the paracetamol may mask a temp but you should still feel the fluey, tired feelings. If you do need ABs get some acidophilus powder as well, will help you both cope with them and reduce tummy trouble for her.

DB I can't help but be disappointed, I try to look on the bright side and think "well at least DB had a good night" but it's not cutting it, I wanted family carnage. RT your MIL is a bit mental isn't she, any new stories, where is WG & her toaster cleaning fanatic.

RT I think it is good to tell everyone. Sadly if there is a problem it is already that way now. You can't make it more likely by telling people. At the end of the day statistically there is a very high possiblity that grannies 10 grandchild is a perfectly healthy little bean, so she should get to hear about this happy occurrence. In fact while it won't change results, announcing your pregnancy now should he auspicious. Think of it as a good omen. (By the way auspicious is one of my favourite words, thank you for the opportunity to use it).

Had a great race, it was very windy, raining & cold. It was also a very hilly course and the last 2.5km were on the beach but DH managed to pace me for at least the 8 km of it in the time I wanted. Unfortunately, the beach & the cold got the better of me and we slowed a bit at the end and did it in 57min rather than the 55 I wanted but I think if it had been a flatter road race I would have done it. I will see what my standing is to decide if I'm really happy with my result as it was a very good field of runners, & we all ran the same course.

I saw WG last night - (and Kiwi, Lady and MrLady) at recording of WG's DH's show. Was really great, even thought I had to leave early, leg it to train and still got back v late. Another tick for moving back to London, I s'pose!

Was v strange realising I'd never actually met Kiwi before, we'd just spent the last 3 years interacting online. Had a lot of job chat - for those not on Fbook - I was offered the job I wanted but had to turn it down as they wouldn't budge on any working from home arrangement angry.

RT, what a difficult situation, you must be in bits. I think Vag has very sage advice, though. Your DD1's kissing the scan is a lovely mental image, makes me smile.

Vag, check you and your racing out! Am v impressed.

Sooooo tired, B's sleeping is just doing us in. Hoping it's just a phase. (a two year phase it would seem...)

sybilfaulty Mon 05-Nov-12 19:14:00

Hello Spot, how are you? WG's DH thing sounds fab. Sorry about your job. Flexible working (or lack thereof) is a bummer, and puts the kaibosh on so many women doing valuable work. I am very lucky to have it right now, but have been told it's got 18 months left before back to 9 to 5. In which case, I'll be offski. Don't know what I'll do instead, but i'd barely see my kids if I did that, plus I'd never keep up with my house chores or indeed my social life, so that clearly won't do!

I have never met you either, Spot or Kiwi, which is a huge shame and very odd since we have been pals on the thread for ages. I hope we can make it happen before too long. I don't think I can do Fri 23 now as it's a good pal's birthday and she is in the throes of a divorce, so I probably need to be cheerleading here. Can we do a different day?

RT, thinking of you and hoping today was OK. This time next week I hope you will have reassurance. And still thinking of lovely Beans, and dear Lady as you remember your dad.

I really hope we can all get together soon. Need my Dec 2008 ladies fix. Do you realise we have been on the thread together for 4.8 years?! Wow, and we still fill a thread every couple of months.

Love to you all XXX

LadyThompson Mon 05-Nov-12 19:44:00

Not a catch up but just wanted to say it was lovely to see Spot and KP last night - a rare public sighting of me and DP together, might I add! Glad you got home ok Spot, was a bit worried.

It was a good end to the weekend as having my stepmother was a bit emotionally draining (not her fault at all, I think it was more that the anniversary was emotionally draining)

Yikes, Sybs, I didn't know that about your job. Crumbs - do you think you'll make a big change?

Am just getting the girls up to bed but more as soon as I can, lots I wanted to respond to. And yes, our thread is BRILLIANT and we should all be vvv proud of it.

McKayz Tue 06-Nov-12 06:32:14

How do I get DS2 to sleep more? It was about 11 he went to sleep last night and he was up at 6. He's exhausted but won't sleep. He's back at nursery today so I'm hoping he won't be too bad for them. He gets so grumpy when he's tired.

Sybs, I hope you get something sorted with work. I love our thread, often wish I was closer to London so I could meet you all.

Glad you all enjoyed WG's DHs recording. How is WG?

sybilfaulty Tue 06-Nov-12 06:40:35

Kayz, I wish I knew the answer to the sleep Q as I'd make a fortune! Everyone in our house is grumpy and baity if underslept too, esp me of course. It can be very random in our house when people go to sleep, so I try where possible to encourage exhaustion by making the kids do a lot of exercise in an attempt to tire them out. Doesn't always work, and often makes me more tired than them, but they often sleep better if they have walked a long way or been to the park. Chances are DS will be tired after a late night, compounded by nursery and so will sleep well tonight. Fingers crossed.

How is your boob by the way? On the mend?

So mcuh to do today, but might treat myself to a swim whilst DS at nursery in the morning. Haven't been for a fortnight, what with half term etc so hope it's not too hard going.

DD lost a tooth yesteray and the bloody tooth fairy (DH) has only just worked his magic, despite reminders. He's also forgotten to take the actual tooth! Doh!

sybilfaulty Tue 06-Nov-12 06:41:36

How are you doing RT? Hope you are managing to get some rest in and are not feeling too stressed. This time next week you will probably feel much reassured. Hang on in there. Big hugs XXX

McKayz Tue 06-Nov-12 07:04:39

Thanks Sybs, the biggest problem is that he will want to nap after nursery so then we have to try and keep him awake or then he won't sleep tonight and it all starts again.

Boob is still fairly painful. I keep feeding her on that side but trying not to neglect the other side.

RTchoke Tue 06-Nov-12 08:40:14

Thanks for asking Sybs. I'm not doing great actually. I thought I was feeling much better about it than with DD2 as I'd been through it all before and had a good outcome. But last night DH gently asked what I'd want to do if we get a diagnosis of Down syndrome (or other disorder) and we had THAT conversation and it was hard. Then I dreamt the test results were so slow they didn't come through until a few hours after the baby was born and I thought he had been born healthy until I took the call and then I was devastated. I woke at 5am in tears which I had to try to stop as I didn't want to wake DH becUse I really didn't want to talk about it.

Now I'm typing this on the Tubesnd tearing up again which is just embarrassing. Most of the time I'm fine. Luckily I'm very busy at work so have to get on with things. I just wish I could talk to my close friend about it but obviously she's going through her own stuff. And I wish I could talk to my Mum but that will never happen. And for some reason I don't want to talk to my DH or my other friends about it.

Anyway, onwards and upwards as our thread title says. Please, please let's fix a date for the meet-up. Sybs cam you suggest other dates? I can't do Fri 30th now but can do most other dates.

DeidreBarlow Tue 06-Nov-12 09:03:37

Oh RT lovely, I wish you didn't have to go through all this worry. I hope that work can keep you busy and your mind of it all for a little while at least. We are always here to listen. I know our response may not be instant but we are all here for you. Hang in there. Big love.

Sybs, DD has her first 2 wobbly teeth, at last! I think she's the only one in her class to have not lost a tooth yet.

VagolaJahooli Tue 06-Nov-12 11:14:46

Gosh RT that is such a painful & vivid dream. This waiting is so agonising for you. Also what rotten timing that you & your best friend need each other more than ever right now but you can't help each other. Have you heard how she is? I remember when two friends of mine, got pregnant at the same time we were all so excited. They were one week apart, then when one was 27 weeks she lost her baby, we were all devastated for her, but a week later our other friend delivered her baby prematurely, 29 weeks in fact. It was such a shock and so hard supporting them both, I think in a way the friend who lost her baby got a bit neglected. You just don't expect such devastating life events to happen all at once.

Crikey I just found this I had started writing it ages ago then must have wandered off. I'm at home today with poor DS2 he has a very bad belly. I was up to my elbows in it yesterday as he had several accidents due to the speed at which IT ejected itself from his bowels, then last we had several sheet changes. Then this mornin I went out early for a run and got back to find poor DH cleaning up what I can only describe as a spray painted toilet wall (sorry). He had a skin infection around his ear and he finished the ABs for it on Sunday so I'm assuming it's caused by them. He has been having acidophilus but I think that will only help pick up the pieces, not stop the carnage.

So anyway it's another week of him only in peuters one day as today was his morning at peuterschool. He is only there another month and I feel like the last 2 months he has been off so many of the tuesdays that it's hardly been worth it. Next Tuesday I start a Pilates class on Tuesdays so fingers crossed he is all good for that day.

I can't believe he starts school in January! We will be getting his school acceptance letter soon, argh where did my baby go?

Hooray for wobbly teeth DB, ds1 was late too, but was late getting his teeth in the first place.

Sybs how did you explain the tooth still under the pillow?

LadyThompson Tue 06-Nov-12 11:50:32

AAaargh, still can't get on for a catch up but wanted to say to Arti - you poor old thing. The waiting must be torture, I know how I felt when I was waiting for my CVS then waiting for the result (it takes 2 days). But listen - you know from DD2 that you have had similar before - maybe you just make babies that have a thicker nuchal measurement at this age. Just like my DD1 was slow to grow in her nosebone - a strong marker for Downs, but something which can just happen for no special reason. The nuchal scan at the FMC is much more sophisticated and accurate (it really saddens me that the NHS one is so much more of a blunt instrument) and they are brilliant there. I can't help but be hopeful for you but I know whilst there is that doubt you won't be able to relax. I just hope the time passes quickly. We are all rooting for you and I know it's easy for me to say but even at 1 in 45, the odds are massively on your side. But I am sure you will end up with a far more favourable result from FMC. And I know it's a cliche - but if you think about it, it's a waste of stress hormones to fret about what MIGHT happen when there's a jolly decent chance all will be well (though we all do it!). Bon courage.

McKayz Tue 06-Nov-12 12:01:00

RT. I can't think of anything to say to make you feel any better. The wait must be horrible. But if possible try to remember that DD2 was fine despite a high measurement.

I hope being busy at work can take your mind of things for a bit.

Rubena Tue 06-Nov-12 13:05:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VagolaJahooli Tue 06-Nov-12 13:14:29

What? Did RT find out the flavour? I missed that. What is it?

Rubena Tue 06-Nov-12 13:51:47

Nah Vag, I was just asking as I hadn't read back very far and wondered if RT was finding out or not. RT are you finding out?

Honsandrevels Tue 06-Nov-12 13:56:17


Just caught up.. been on a hen weekend in the middle of nowhere. No phone reception!

RT What a worry. As others have said your risk is low really. Lots of love to you.

Back later.

Beans36 Tue 06-Nov-12 14:10:47

RT -loads of love. Thinking of you xxxx

RTchoke Tue 06-Nov-12 15:38:13

Thank you all so much for your lovely comments this morning. I am sneaking on at work, where I really should be concentrating, but I just had to share some news which I feel like shouting from the rooftops.
You may remember that I had a blood test at the Fetal Medicine Centre last week which is for a brand new screening test where they isolate the baby’s DNA in the mother’s blood and test it for chromosomal disorders. The FMC are pioneering this test so it is not on the NHS yet. However it has been through clinical trials and the trails show it is as reliable as a CVS for detecting the three most common chromosomal disorders.
Anyway, I was told the blood analysis would take two weeks which is  why I had to wait until next Monday for my nuchal scan as the FMC wanted to discuss the DNA results when I had my nuchal. Anyway, I just got a call from the FMC to say they had the result back early. They nearly killed me by asking “are you alone, can you sit down?” and I was sure it was going to be bad news BUT it was not. I am extremely low risk for the three main Trisomy disorders (Downs, Edwards and the other one which I have forgotten the name of). In fact the risk factor they have given me is 1/10,000 (0.01%).
This does not mean that the nuchal test isn’t indicating other problems, a congenital heart defect would cause a thick nuchal but would not be picked up by the DNA test and the same is true of some very rare genetic disorders but this does massively reduce the likelihood that the baby has a chromosomal disorder. They have also moved my FMC nuchal to Friday so I don’t have to wait another weekend.
I am so pleased I had this test. Seriously, if any of you ever have another baby and want screening go to the FMC. How amazing that they have invested a non invasive test that has results as reliable as a CVS and can be done at 12 weeks AND They call you early when the results come through. I love them very much right now.
Oh, and just to clarify I have no idea what gender this baby is! In my dream it was a boy which is why I said “he” this morning. I hope to find out on Friday though and I will tell you all!