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October 2012 babies - we meet them at last!(1000 Posts)
Getting thread in place in readiness!
Marks place so don't lose thread post-baby
with two hours sleep and leaking boobs
<smooches *Yomping for being so organised >
Guess its really happening then! Place marked.
Place marking too...since it seems I'll probably be among the first...
Oh and Yomping - you are a legend
Eek! Don't think I'll be in the post natal stage any time soon. Those of you who deliver in early Oct are not allowed to abandon the antenatal thread yet!!!
Hi, us of the future! How's motherhood?
Hi, us of the future! How's motherhood?
I hope 'future me' is no longer diabetic or anaemic Also if she miraculously has a baby who sleeps through the night from day 2 I'll throw a parade for her
Thought I better come find this post and mark place before pages move on and cannot find link or baba happens to come and cannot find ANYTHING!!
<marks place as gibbering wreck>
And seconds what LondonMrss says!
Oh my lordy, I'm not even due til November... Please let me stay here I like you lot!
Bumping this as I think we're gonna be needing it soon...
Yeah, anyone seen velo or squid?
Staggering towards finishing line...
Personally it's more of a waddle
Ohmygod. I'm going to have a baby aren't I?!
<Comes in, turns on light and heating, plumps cushions, brushes floor, arranges snacks, prepares nest area for Lisbeth and anyone else about to pop...>
Don't mind me folks...
did someone say snacks?
<collects balls of tumbleweed being blown about the place>
Come on babies, where are you?
Hmmmm..... This place might get dusty if doesn't get used soon...... Anyone got any nesting instinct left to keep it sparkling for the babies???? Mine has evaporated again!!
But I'll put a few things in the freezer here, help yourselves when you need. Raspberry leaf tea and dates anyone??
But for the record although I've arranged snacks if you divils eat ALL the cake before my return I will not be held responsible for my actions...
<wanders in with a feather duster and lots of furniture polish... mmm.. furniture polish..>
<hastily replaces cakes in preparation for Angelico's arrival>
And here's some biccies too. Please take them or I'll eat them all <wipes crumbs from mouth surreptitiously>
Oooh... surprised to still have an empty room... I am feeling all nesty so shall give it a sparkly clean ready for today's arrivals.
swishes mop about
Now... come on then Angelico, CWest and (possibly) liege?
I'm with you, Mickey, it's all quite a way off (due date 1st Nov). Though I'm WAY bored of work already.
Ooooh, have been lurking around the other thread, but if I can mark my place on here will bring jelly tots & turkish delight to the table (well, sadly I'm not sure I'd get to the table due to bump but I'd damn well try).
ELCS on the 11th Oct with a little breech boy- my first. Am oscillating between bricking it due to it being a baby & not knowing what to do with small people but yet soooo being over being pregnant.. Am squashed and grumpy and not appreciating a recently acquired nickname of "my little pygmy hippo" from DH
Any tips for this nesting instinct to kick in by the way
or should i just get a cleaner My house could really do with a super clean..
Just marking my place, hope to see some news on here soon. In the meantime, my cake baking skills being somewhat lacking, I can offer you the French post natal holy trinity of champagne, unpasteurised goats cheese and some (highly unethical) foie gras. [Grin]
<Puts up "welcome home" banner and blows up balloons in anticipation of Velo>
I bought a cheesecake today, like a slice?
before I eat the whole thing?
Just being nosey, wondering if there are any updates....bet this thread will be busy soon
Oh god, cheesecake! I am so grumpy about having been unable to pursue my (very pregnancy unfriendly) hobbies for fecking months now, all I want to do is eat sweet things all day as compensation. I suggest that you lock the cheesecake away, Wantanorange or at least hide it behind some of Kyyria's balloons otherwise I'll inhale the thing in one breath and not even have the grace to look guilty about it!
<hauls in 10 cases of Prosecco>
<follows it with additional contraband - pate, smoked salmon & stinky soft cheese>
<then a sack of Twiglets just cos I luffs them>
Now, what are the chances of any of the above being left over for my arrival?!
Well I ate half of it last night Yomping. The other half is waiting as a reward for when I've finished this bloody endless day!
Yomping I'm doing the same. My Dad brought some amazing continental chocolate this weekend and I've eaten 2.5 bars plus a pack of naice biscuits I was supposed to be taking round someone's house yesterday. That's in the last 2 days.
Need a pig emoticon.
Ha ha ha, glad I'm not alone! I'm always buying DH sweet treats then eating them myself
I've had a chunky KitKat and now I want a cheeseburger and chips, please. Bear in mind I am breastfeeding TWO offspring.
Yomping I bought biscuits for the mw and ate the whole packet myself. My DH pretty much cried when he got home. I've bought another and it's takinga ll the willpower I have not to scoff the fecking lot.
At least when bfing there's a good excuse...
Lord, we didn't even offer the MW a cup of tea when she came round this morning to check on us. Do Belgians drink tea?
I think the chief difference to emerge between me and DS since our separation is that he gets to sleep, and I don't.
Hello! I am home! Copying this into both the AN and PN threads, can't wait to get caught up with you all and see which new beans have arrived! x
Hello! Just writing from hospital - My little one is here!!!!
Freddie was born 25th September - though his edd was 9th October.
He's lying next to me and I'm absolutely besotted....
Congratulations emmie!! Love love loveee the name. DP hated it and wouldn't let me have it
Hooray, congratulations emmie!!!! Hope you're recovering well!
Baby blues have struck, three days exactly after the birth. I guess it's better to know why I'm crying because even I know it's not the fact my mother would have been 74 today.
DS feeding excellently still, which helps with overwhelming emotion and engorgement - thank God I can still do this.
Elpis, you've been through a lot. It's just hormones leaving your body - which I know you know and it probably doesn't help to be told, but it may help to put it into perspective. Give yourself a hug, give yourself a break, eat lots of chocolate. This too shall pass.
Thank you for the congratulations!
I am sorry you've got the blues Elpis. I can relate too - yesterday I had a complete melt down.
Feeling slightly better today (day four) but still a bit shakey and i fear worse is to come.
My milk is still coming in (c-section so I think it takes longer than normal) but baby Freddie seems as happy as larry.
I know it seems really trival, but one of the things I'm feeling crappy about is my body. I knew it was going to be bad - but i didnt think it was going to be THIS bad. I look 9 months pregnant still and where theyve made the incision for the section is really, well swollen and odd looking (its really low in pubic hair)
I also expected to have lost a little more weight than I actually have. 3 stone to get back to pre-pregnancy.. seems a mission and a half.
Anyway, as i said, all that seems fairly trival considering what a beautiful, perfect baby I have!
Emmiedarling My section looks pretty ghastly too - not sure whether I should be grateful they cut out the scar tissue from the first time - but they really do get better. The fact it's below your bikini line is actually a blessing. Unless you're a Brazilian kind of girl, I suppose. There's a good Mumsnet thread somewhere on caring for your scar/ handling things post-section which I can link to if it's not findable via Google.
I can't believe how little I learnt first time round. Or have remembered.
Also... Weight drops off at a wildly varying rate. A couple of months after birth last time I threw away all my tighter size 12 trousers from pre-baby, thinking they'd never fit again. By 8 months or so I was a size 10. This time (sorry) my stomach has shrunk back very quickly. I suspect tandem feeding of a toddler and newborn is the reason.
Hi Ladies, just starting to find some headspace to catch up with the threads. DS has just been weighed and is now a whopping 2.4 something Kg! This means that he has regained his birth weight and then some. The midwife has said that we are allowed to leave the house so who knows, might get our first walk today. Breastfeeding is going well - I used the aventis cups to get through the engorgement phase and they really seemed to work. I am however feeding on demand, if lucky we manage a 3-hour cycle but there tends to be a lot of top-up feeding especially during the day. Feels like I'm breastfeeding all the time.
I'm trying not to worry too much about post-pregnancy body but I have 10 kg to loose to get back to my pre-IVF weight (put on weight during the ttc process). I have joined Weight Watchers even though they say to wait 6-weeks, the points for breastfeeding mothers are generous and I need to make sure that I don't eat biscuits, cakes for the sake of it.
Not doing too badly with the baby blues, had a bit of a wobble at day 9 (which according to my MIL is normal).
Hopefully we'll have a few more graduates to this thread by the end of today!
On a lighter note, I have:
* eaten sushi
* slept on my back!
* eaten a sandwhich without having to worry about whether or not it was with cooked meat or if I could trust that the lettuce had been properly washed.
Still to come: 1 rare or medium steak...
What have you enjoyed now that the pregnancy dietary shackles are off?
Afternoon ladies! Baby Orange arrived yesturday, at 6:30pm. Glad to be home!
Just marking my place. Will write soon.
velo I had champagne and soft cheese the evening I delivered
Velo Am ashamed to say I did all those things while pregnant. I don't like soft cheese but will lobby DH to open some champagne tonight!
Fantastic WantanOrange! Treat home just like the hospital, but with better food and no Archers-style overheard medical dramas in the rest of the ward. (Does everyone keep their curtains closed around the bed these days?)
aww we had the curtains open. The other ladies on the ward were nice!
DD has just coughed up loads of gunk all over clothes, been washed and dressed and then filled her nappy! So we'll start again......
Just popping on to wave broodily at all the new babies - hey babies! waves.
Mine's never coming!
Is anyone else BF? I've woken up with boobs like Jordan. I'd forgotten this bit. Ouch!
wantanorange I'm so not looking forward to that. I think my milk's on its way though cos I just randomly sobbed for half an hour this afternoon because I feel so bad for DS adjusting to this new usurper Maybe tomorrow I'll have my first Jordan day...
DS has already shredded my left nipple, gah. Nipple shields ahoy...
yomping, have a whiff of this <waves babypaving under nose> it's supposed to bring labour on
My milk came in Wednesday... thankfully the rockhard pornstar thing only lasted 24 hrs
am v v lucky in that feeding's not painful.
Just fed babysquid for 4 hours... woah. so. tired.
Hello! Like Squid I was feeling too fraudulant to write here but getting brave now that a few of you are here
Champagne - I took a swig and the bubbles made me cough = death post-section. Swearing off it for a while...
The boob thing lasted about 3 days for me and now they are back to normal although the boob ready to feed from does get firmer which helps me remember which boob's turn it is I have to write it down though too or I would forget
Sympathy on shredded nipples and 4 hour feeds Bean varies between 20 and a record 40 mins, most feeds 25-30 mins. We either have a cosy tucked up in bed feed or a 'plonked in front of telly with boxset' feed
Gave her a bath this evening and now she is sleeping soundly. Lots of good stuff in Baby Whisperer but one thing I found unhelpful was the whole 'keep baby awake for half an hour after a feed'. Think that's what gets her overtired and then she has the daily meltdown. So aiming now for let her sleep if she can
so mummy and daddy can sleep too!
Squid how is the co-sleeping going? I'm really torn about it. Part of me loves the idea of it, part of me relishes her just sleeping in her moses basket so DH and I can snuggle up in bed without fear of squishing her. How do you manage the practicalities of it? Did I read someone on other thread say you can't use a duvet? If you know of any good links or have time to give some info would love to know how you're working it.
Hey everyone. Can I come join your gang. Was due in Sep, but my little boy didn't arrive until 1st Oct.
We're doing well so far. I'm having problems with night sleeping, in that he'll only stay asleep on me, as soon as I try to put him in his crib he wakes. Means I'm not getting the best sleep, but he is. I'm actually not feeling too bad for it yet either. DP is being great and we've started a routine where he takes DS at about 7am for as long as possible so I can get a couple of hours of sleep.
I think my milk is in/coming in. His poo has changed colour and when I've had a squeeze its more white than clear now.
If you are expressing, are you both bottle feeding and boob feeding? I want to express but am worried about introducing it too early. Also does anyone use a dummy? We think our DS really likes sucking and are sure he'd settle for longer with DP if he could suck, but again are worried about bringing it in too soon.
I think the bf is going well, he's latching ok (although mw says I need to get more boob in his mouth) and my boobs aren't that sore. They're not dry, but have felt a bit more tender today, and are quite warm right now. But actual feeding isn't painful.
Think that's all my worries and concerns so far.
mikhyarose Welcome! It's been a bit quiet round here as we're all so interested in the babies being born in our antenatal thread, but now things are livening up.
The general advice is not to express for a few weeks so you can build up confidence in your supply. Expressing can be a bit of a faff - I did it for 18 months at work four days a week with DD, so I became relentlessly efficient - but for now I would just let your supply establish itself.
Personally I don't use a dummy because sucking prompts the breasts to produce more milk. It is comforting for the baby sometimes, but certainly at this stage I want him to associate milk with comfort so that he gets enough of it.
DS doesn't really like settling in his cot either, which is why we're co-sleeping for the moment. Basically you don't want to run the risk that the baby will get trapped under some duvet and suffocate. So I'm wearing thick pyjamas and using a blanket, which is thinner and moves around less. Make sure the pillows are out of your baby's way too.
Angelico that recommendation to keep them awake for half an hour after a feed is really odd. Milk sends them to sleep, and thank God for that.
Don't want to come over all Mother of Wisdom about bfeeding, so I hope this advice doesn't come across as patronising!
I am finding BF painful tbh but shes feeding now and its not too bad. She feeds for about 2 hours at a time. I'm expressing a bit to relieve the engorgement but not introducing bottles until BF is established.
We are co-sleeping because she will not go down in a moses basket, or anywhere else. She wants to be with be 24/7.
I have offered her a dummy but she was not impressed!
I have a million and one things I want to share/discuss/ask about my first week of being a mum, but I can't seem to order it all in my head... perhaps I will write something substantial later.
Baby squid seems to have been feeding with no more than 20 minute breaks since 5pm last night, finally stopped around 7am and is asleep in her dad's arms... I am a dehydrated, exhausted mess! Still at least she's feeding well. And my boobs don't hurt, bonus.
angelico still very much trial and error with the co-sleeping here. We haven't tried sleeping her anywhere else because she's so small and new I can't quite bear to. Practically - I sleep in the middle, facing outwards, and the duvet covers me and my boyfriend. She sleeps in a sleepsuit and wrapped in her own blanket flat on the mattress within arm's reach of me. Sometimes I hold her in my arms as I sleep, sometimes not. I was experimenting with breastfeeding lying down last night (I thought this was going to be the genius solution to everything) but we both kept falling asleep so I think she was less satisfied which is maybe why she fed ALL NIGHT
I am not sleeping very well even when she does, probably because I am too conscious of squishing her. But I think this will pass as I get used to it. Im' keen to make this work, I think it will be easier in the long run. Boyfriend seems fine with the co-sleeping - he is not worried about squashing her cause I'm in the way. We still cuddle. We always had sex all over the house so when we are up for that again I'm not bothered that she'll be in my bed. (I didn't tear, but I have a "graze" down below... oooowwiie it stings. Other than that I think I'd genuinely be up for sex! Bleeding is lighter than a period now...)
I read a good quote about co-sleeping/the fear of squashing babies somewhere: you don't squash your baby in your sleep for the same reason you don't fall out of bed in your sleep - you sleep, but not THAT deeply. (Which is why obviously you shouldn't co-sleep after drinking, sedative meds, etc).
Wow, I have loads to write, it's all going to pour out... feel very sleep-deprived and hormonal though and the sun is shining and jess is sleeping so I think I'm going to go out for a short slow walk around the river, try and pick up some endorphins and vitamin D. laters xxxx
morning all, 1 handed typing as i have ultimate velcro baby!!! last night didn't get much sleep...
my left nipple is in tatters. already. i know his latch is crap on that side and i can hear him clicking but no amount of relatching helps and we both end up frazzled. aarrrggh. got nipple shields which i hate.
any 2nd timers getting horrific afterpains during bfing? last time i remember mild crampy aches, but this time i feel like they left a twin in there and i'm back in labour having to breathe through it and poor DS1 finds it a bit odd i think.
v jealous of all whose jordan look passed quickly. with DS1 it lasted over 2 months, nightmare.
ok left handed typing too time consuming!!
crazy I had awful afterpains for the first 48 hours, then I passed a huge clot and they pretty much stopped. Keep taking paracetamol and ibruprofen.
I sleep brilliantly when shes with me! Shes just so snuggly and delicious! I do find im cold at night because she sleeps against my chest so I cant have the duvet over me properly.
I keep trying to get her to feed lying down and its worked a couple times but mostly it buggers up the latch and hurts. When it is successful we fall asleep together and its bliss so I'll keep practising.
You have sympathy for the pain. Its horrible.
Marking spot - lost this thread. Back later.
crazypaving Afterpains felt like period pain despite being on major doses of Diclofenac and paracetamol after the c-section, so God knows what they'd have been like without the painkillers! Agree with wantanorange that pills are answer. Pain wore off once I no longer looked at all pregnant.
I'm so glad to be cosleeping this time. With DD, I fed her to sleep each night, put her in the cot and then went downstairs to marital bed. We'd be awoken between two and six times a night by the crying, and dragging myself out of bed each time was awful. Then I'd sit in an armchair propping open my eyelids while she fed. When she'd finished one side I'd change her nappy to wake her so she'd tackle the other. Then back downstairs. Then up again. Don't know how I stuck at it. I just took the 'do not sleep with your baby' advice whole. Why do we put ourselves through that? Anyhow, this way I notice when DS is sucking his fingers, grunting etc and we never get to the crying stage AND I CAN STAY IN BED. He will tolerate an hour or so in the cot alongside my bed each night, though, if he's drunk himself into a stupor.
He can't seem to latch on in the dark yet, so I have to show him the nipple by the light of an iPhone to get him going.
oh god DS is so unhappy and keeps crying heartbreakingly and hitting me. I can't stop crying, DH has had to take him out to the playground. This will get better won't it?
Of course it will get better crazy. It really will. How old is your DS?
popped over to say hello-missing you all on the antenatal thread, it has gone very quiet!
crazy I am so sorry-you poor thing. It will pass, it really will. As you know, this is something I am fretting about too. I have a friend whose ds went through a phase of openly weeing all over the floor every time she breastfed, but within a week he had got over it. Just keep going with re-assuring him and sticking to his routine and you will come out the other side. (do repeat all this to me in a few weeks time as well!)
Thanks bella and orange. My milk's in so I'm in a bit of a hormonal, sore mess. I really hope he adjusts quickly, I hate seeing him so confused and upset I'm trying so hard to do things right but DS2 wakes and cries the moment he's put down so DS1 is seeing too much of him being held I think.
That must be so hard. 23months is to little to understand whats going on. On the other hand he will adjust quickly.
DS is doing my head in. I've just sent him to his room for nagging me about dinner. He's never in his life gone hungry but he's obsessed.
DD has fed all day. Quite literally. It doesnt hurt anymore and the engorgement has gone right down but its constant.
She also has nappy rash already . I feel awful. I need to let her kick without a nappy but she screams as soon as she is undressed.
She also wont be put down. At all. Ever.
Hey Mikyah - <waves>
Elpis / Wantan - on feeding DD feeds really well but tonight for first night I had some let down in the other boob! It feels really tingly, like she's supposed to feed from it as well but she could only manage 2 mins after 35 solid mins on the other side Was tempted to try and express since boob is apparently bursting with milk but I find it quite sore and I'm going to go and sleep instead.
Squid thanks for all the stuff on co-sleeping - really useful and something to think about, even just to get us through the maggot phase every day when I think the comfort would help her.
Crazy lots of sympathy on the afterpains. I know my sister (she of hardcore, super-fast / agonising labour, birth in ambulance) found the afterpains crippling this time round - she just had her second. She was on hands and knees on floor with the pain but it passed after a few days.
Wantan just sending a hug really. It is hardcore enough with one, not sure how anyone ever goes through all this a second time!
Back to acupuncture today and it is awesome!!! He has given me a bag of
disgusting herbs which have to be 'cooked' into a liquid then drunk twice a day. They smell vile but I do trust him as it has helped so much. He also showed DH some ninja baby massage moves for wind etc while I lay prone and full of pins. If they are any good will pass them on. Going to go grab a couple of hours sleep, even though would rather just chill with DH in front of telly... Trying to stock up for the night ahead, she's been too good all day, which makes me think the worst is yet to come...
orange glad it doesn't hurt any more and the engorgement is going. DS2 is struggling to stay awake long enough to bring the engorgement down for me at all. I'm block feeding one side at a time atm as I had such trouble with oversupply last time, but feel like I'm striking out in the dark - I can't remember last time at all! Such a blur. Really scared of getting mastitis and my boobs are THROBBING! His latch is still appalling too - the doctor who did his check said he has a slight tongue tie which may affect feeding, so I'm wondering if we need to get this sorted. Argh.
Don't worry about nappy rash - it happens! It's so hard to remember the nappy changes around feeding, sleeping etc... We're not doing very well. The meconium is just starting to change colour for us. Looking forward to the first major explosion
Angelico know what you mean about sleeping though preferring to spend time with DH. The early weeks can be lonely but there is light at the end of the tunnel! It's all about survival.
Hi mikyah! Sorry, was in a hormonal teary puddle earlier and wasn't really concentrating on the rest of the thread. Having big ups and downs mood-wise...
Oh also orange DS2 will not be put down at all ever either. You are not alone!
Awwww, this is where u all are (naturally!) All has gone quiet on other thread! Feel like an imposter so not really reading your posts here. Look forward to joining you all in the not TOO far future. Hugs and best wishes ladies and babies. Xx
Wow, just had the longest block of sleep in 6 days. A full 4 hours. It was lovely.
I've given up for the time being with trying to get him to sleep in his crib. So got all settled and snuggled together and had a lovely sleep.
Think my milk must be properly in now, had 4 sick episodes today - the first ones. Today's also been the first time I've properly winded him. He's been falling asleep on the boob, so I've just been leaving him to sleep. Got my mum here for the night and she's all about swaddling and winding. And she obviously knows best. :/
DP seems to be suffering with my baby blues. I've been completely fine, but he's been down about not being able to do much for the baby. I've reassured him he's doing plenty and not to be silly as its all about feeding at the moment. But he still had a proper strop before bed which ended with him putting the baby down and huffing coz he couldn't settle him. I'm sure he'll be fine and sorry about it in the morning.
Thanks to everyone with feedback about bottles and dummies. Gonna hold off on both for a few more weeks yet. Sorry girlies.
Will try and get on again tomorrow on the pc, then I can reply properly to everyone. I do struggle on my phone and end up just talking about me
milkyahrose I was really afraid of dummies first time around for all the reasons everyone has said. However, my ds fed all the time, until he made himself sick most times. I stayed in our birthing centre for a few days as my dh had to work and in the end it was the midwives who told me to just give him a dummy. They said some babies just want to suck all the time. So we did, and for us it worked fine, i never missed his feeding cues and he gradually needed it less and less until it was only for sleeping. Then he gave it up altogether when he was 1. It never interfered with eating or talking. (he is a real chatterbox!) just thougt I would share our story as I know there are a lot of peopke who have had negative experiences with them. In our case they were a n absolute lifesaver!!
miky another big fan of dummies here, when only kept to sleep time, but many people advise waiting a week or 2 just to ensure it doesn't affect bfing - apparently dummies involve a slightly different sucking action, according to a lactation consultant we saw who snipped DS1's tongue tie.
1 handed typing again, arm's getting sore!!!
Feeding is hurting again . I dont know what I'm doing wrong.
For anyone with a velco baby, I have just discovered white noise. I'm amazed. Shes gone from screaming, to calm in 10 seconds!
God I have got engorged again! Ouch! Why??? Boobs were perfectly comfortable and in last 24 hours they seem to have maxed up production Latching is really painful - back to the way it was a week ago! So Wantan you may not be doing anything wrong at all - are your boobs fuller again? I'm also paying more attention to latching - Bean was a great latcher from the start but she seems to be getting a bit lazier now and just grabbing at nipple so I'm actually having to pay attention to how she goes on. Left nipple is sore - seems to be a tiny little 'ball' missing IYKWIM!
Bella / Crazy / Mikyah we find dummies can be helpful too but only the odd time - when she's in cot and fussing. Sometimes she likes it, sometimes she just spits it out completely.
Huffle you'll be here soon!
On sleeping, I started a thread asking for tips - popping link in, you might find some suggestions helpful.
Am a bit embarrassed asking this but have any of you found that new bean has made relationships a bit more fraught with other family members? Basically I have had a row with my mum who was up staying with us last week to help out post-CS (we normally get on really well). Parents were just leaving and apparently I had been 'snappy' with her (8 days of constant pain and sleep-deprivation will do that to a person ). She just went mad and had a real go at me, said some really nasty things to me, including that I was 'horrible'. DH and I were both although he said she was probably just a bit tired and on edge about leaving us. I was angry but assumed she would be embarrassed and realise she was out of order.
Thing is - she hasn't. In fact her and my dad have completely re-written the whole incident casting her as the victim and me as some kind of villain. I am so angry!!! Even DH who is always a peacemaker is pissed off and finding it really weird but he is telling me to be careful not to escalate things. The trouble is she was so out of order that I can't possibly see a way of letting it go - because if I do I feel like she might do it again. If I confront her it might escalate things. At the minute they are angling to come and see us again and I just don't want to see them I'm too angry and this is really out of character - I tend to be a 'get mad, have a 2 minute rant and rave to DH / trusted friend / on paper, forget the whole thing' person. This is days later and every message they send or phone call they make they send more self-justifying bullshit and I am getting madder and madder. I know I probably need to talk to her but she has re-written things so much that I know it will just lead to a bigger row. I honestly don't know what to do. DH wants me to rise above it and normally I would try but I am genuinely too fucking angry. I couldn't sit in my home and look at her and know that she thought it was okay to talk to me like that - I felt like she kicked me when I was down.
Anyway, sorry to pour this out but any tips welcome. Might post it in relationships under a namechange and see what people suggest.
Have a good day ladies xo
Ohhh, x-posted Wantan. Our bean likes the TV on for white noise. What are you using? Had vacuum and hairdryer suggested, also on link above someone mentions an Iphone white noise app for 69p and a toy called Ewan the Sheep with white noise option...
Ive found a video on youtube but looking for something I can download and play on my IPod.
iTunes has a heartbeat/doppler sounding one but I prefer the white noise.
I dont have a fancy phone that does apps, I have a mum phone!
Im sorry to hear about your mum. IME babies have an odd effect on GP. When I had DS, my mum couldn't stand to hear him cry. If he did, she'd have a go at me and say awful things. I don't know what gets into them. But it's not on, you need support.
Hello ladies, just thought I'd pop on to say missing you all on the other thread. Hope you're not finding the first few days/weeks too tough. angelico that situation sounds rubbish, surely it's for her to support you as much as possible right now? Even if you did snap its totally understandable. Maybe she just feels vulnerable that she's 'losing' her little girl? Doesn't excuse it though. As if you haven't got enough to deal with.
Hugs Angelico. Can't offer much advice cos my Mum is always a nightmare, but fwiw she got a lot worse after DS1 was born! Can you write her an email or something explaining that you're exhausted and in pain and you're sorry she feels hurt but it was never in any way intentional? When I'm knackered I get angry really easily and quickly and lose sight of rational thought, so gritting your teeth and writing something conciliatory may be easier than talking to her.
orange ahhh white noise - good reminder, thanks! We were lent one of those sheep, may give it a go. Although - and no one breathe or say anything - but DS2 is in his moses basket for the first time! Shhh!
And re. feeding - just keep checking the latch and relatching is all I can offer, but then I'm another sore feeder so don't listen to me!!! My boobs are rock solid and throbbing, agghhh. Having to actually wake DS2 to feed him, a problem I never had with DS1, and he's not having much impact on the engorgement in my epic milk supply norkage. Sigh.
Rambly post...I'll ramble off now...in a positive mood today which is nice, enjoying it while it lasts!
whispering so as not to wake up babypaving - who, by the way, smells gorgeous but is rubbish as a method of induction, sorry Crazy
Popping on to
say whisper hi to you all and to second the suggestion to Angelico of writing to your mum. Sounds like if you try to sort it face to face it might be difficult - if you write a letter or send an email, at least she will read your point of view without interrupting. I anticipate similar with my mum, who is so stoked at finally having a grandchild (if said grandchild EVER decides to come out into the world...) that I'm sure she will become a bit irrational for a while as she will worry about me, and the baby, and this will translate into her saying things which I take massively personally because she can be very insensitive and I can be very easily offended by it! Hope you get it sorted.
DS was just having a peaceful feed when I felt milk running down the side of my boob. It was coming out of his nose. But he was perfectly calm. WTF?? DD never did this!
In other news, I fell down the stairs while holding DS. Oh Christ, it was awful. I managed to hold onto him most of the way but his head hit a banister halfway down. He didn't cry for more than a minute but I was so upset and shocked that DH had to give me a hot drink. The stairs are carpeted and sometimes they can be slippery. I shall have to take extra care.
Oh Elpis you poor thing, how terrifying Lots of hugs. Babies are very resilient - otherwise virtually none would make it to adulthood!! You're probably in far worse shape than he is, go easy on yourself. Accidents happen, especially when tired and wobbly.
And about milk coming out of nose.....wtf?! I imagine it's early incoordination with his soft palate but maybe ask a midwife/hv if it keeps happening!
Elpis that must have been scary. Dont beat yourself up, we all have accidents.
Milk came out of DD's nose the other day. She coughed and spit up and I guess it went up the wrong tunnel!
I'm feeling very guilty today. DS has been fine so far but I walked past his room earlier and heard him crying. He said he doesnt like having a baby anymore and that mummy and daddy dont think about him anymore.
Angelico We were given Ewen the Sheep as a present. He has four sound options, one for each leg. Two mimic the noise you hear when the MW listens to baby's heartbeat, one is a tinkly tune in a somewhat depressingly minor key, and the other is like a toned-down vacuum cleaner. DS is unaffected by any of them but DD (3) enjoys squeezing the legs to change the soundtrack. As far as I'm concerned Ewen can flock off. I may remove his batteries tomorrow.
WantanOrange Am so sad to hear your elder DS is upset. We've been lucky with DD so far but I think the 3.5 year age gap is easier than it would be if she were younger. Have you or your DP/DH got the energy to give him an hour each a day of 'his' time, without the baby? DD really appreciates this. Sometimes we just snuggle and nap together, but we've also been to her favourite playgrounds. The message I've been trying to give us that she and Mummy can still have our special time together, just like we did before. She also has special tasks, like damping cotton wool at nappy changing time and bringing me drinks, which I hope make her feel needed. Good luck. [hug]
He's 6 and I think very used to being the only child. His GP are very involved as well and hes their only grand child. Its a big thing for him to have to wait his turn at home.
DH spent lot a time with him this week playing Lego/ Skylanders. I cant do much because DD is still feeding constantly.
He has asked if he can take her on the school run this morning so I guess shes forgiven for now.
Hello mummies!! Fraudulently posting again, but not really reading, don't want to be nosy...... I will be joining u soon enough! I hav a really silly question and I think most 2nd time mums are here!!! Crazy your comment on FB about exploding nappies made me think: how do you wash clothes with poo on???! This sounds awfully silly, I am
It's just that I imagine if u put in machine at 30degrees with non bio powder, can't imagine it will cut the mustard......! I hav memories of soaking nappies in napisan in a bucket, but I'm talking about vests and clothes....
Sorry, sure u hav much more to discuss than this!
Hope everyone well, c u soon, xx
WantanOrange Yes, as an only child myself, I can imagine it must be very hard for him. Sorry to have assumed he was younger. I do hope the worst of the jealousy is over and school distracts him a bit.
hufflepuffle Actually the stains come out surprisingly easily at 30C, but when they don't you can always do a Vanish wash at 60 as vests, sleep suits etc are indestructible. Or you can just ignore the vaguely yellow patches and rediscover them three and a half years later.
hufflepuffle Sorry, just had another thought. With explosions, scrape off the crap and put it down the loo, NOT the sink or bath. (I once had to unblock a sink as a result of rinsing DD's clothes under the tap. That u-bend almost killed me.) Then you can either soak the clothes in a bucket or stick them straight in the machine - my preference is the latter.
Sorry to post this so soon after breakfast time.
Had my baby on Friday. Can I join? He is two and a bit weeks early.
Thank you Elpis!! Makes sense!! And I will warn DH..... Had a particularly bad tummy on hols few years ago. Was sick all over bed.... DH happily cleaned up, put bedclothes in wash etc, but included all the yuck....... Not a pretty site being removed from machine...... Had to scrape everything......! SORRY!!!!! TMI!!!
How does any new mum cope without a small online community of new friends??!
Thank you, hope all coming along, c u all in a week or 2! Xx
One question. Why won't she sleep in her lovely Moses basket? Or at night?
Have been doing a bit of reading on cosleeping and concluded that actually bed sharing doesn't seem a big problem in the absence of other risk factors like smoking, drinking, etc, so might be heading down that route. Found the health professionals version of the UNICEF leaflet really helpful for giving a bit more of a balanced view, here it is for anyone else going throug similar http://www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/Resources/Resources-for-parents/Caring-for-your-baby-at-night/.
Also, when will I look less like Jordan again and will my boobs have exploded first?
Hey ladies Thanks for sympathy re mum thing, seems to be surprisingly common! Sorry so many of you have nightmare mums My mum can be selfish and a bit childish but generally we get on really well, hence the shock of all this. She's desperate to come up to see us but I'm just not ready to face her yet Then I feel mean and guilty
Elpis sorry you got such a scare on the stairs - glad you and bean were okay, but can understand the shock! Sister keeps telling me that babies are amazingly tough most of the time and you know that being a second time mum but doesn't take away the scare. Also disappointing about Ewan the sheep - I thought he was going to be a magic bullet
Wantan sorry to hear about DS. He will come round and at least he has forgiven your bean a bit Can understand jealousy at that age - I will confess I was 3 when when my sister arrived and apparently I pushed her carrycot over and mysteriously disappeared... She doesn't seem to have held it against me...
Huffle the poo comes out in the wash amazingly easily if they are breastfed. We are finding that so far the nappies mostly contain it and only the odd bit gets on to her clothes because of our cack-handed changing techniques. You are probably remembering the days of terry nappies... I remember the stinking yellow bucket well...
Hey Evilwater - congrats on your bean! Boy or girl? Hope you and bean are well.
Smiley we were wondering the same but she seems to have a routine now - carrycot is daytimes naps, moses basket night time naps. Also she is doing all her poos at night at the minute and it's awful, poor wee thing gets awful pains Her wee face reduced me to tears about 8pm last night, she just looked like she was in agony. The only things that helped her through the two unsettled / poopy periods were swaddling her and then letting her feed for 2 or 3 mins. She fell straight asleep and slept through, thus saving several hours of screaming.
Smiley we are co-sleeping and its so much easier than the first days I remember with DS. I dont want to do it long term, but for now it's good.
DD just had her heal prick test. Shes so brave....her Daddy was a wreck though!
I'm off to Sure Start to register her and find out when the breast feeding support is!
My Jordan look lasted 2 days and I didnt explode (just). Cold cabbage leaves down your bra is really soothing (although you will smell like and old peoples home). Also, warm showers, hand expressing and ibruprofen!
Hi evil and welcome! join the madness...
I'm as down today as I was up yesterday. Got a grand total of 2 hours sleep last night, in 2 one hour blocks. So messed up today I couldn't fall asleep when I had the chance and now my head and body are buzzing and feel like I might fall down. I am panicking about getting PND again as this is how I felt with DS1. Trying to keep perspective and take it an hour at a time but it's so hard.
And smileyhappymummy, DS2 sleeps like an absolute angel, all day, in his moses basket, and is up all night straining and crying and will not be put down. I know this is just a phase but it went on for about 8 weeks with DS1 and I can't handle it if it happens again, not with DS1 to look after. DH is talking about going back to work on Monday and I'm trying so hard not to freak out.
I really really need to get a grip...it's amazing how sleep deprivation affects rational thought.
angelico what is it about babies saving all their wind and poo up for night-time? Who invented this baby-having lark for god's sake. The first 3 months are definitely the 4th trimester of pg - wish their little digestive systems came out a bit more mature.
Oh wantanorange you poor thing, that must've broken your heart to hear your DS say that. Tearing up thinking about it DS1's behaviour reflects that exact thought, only he's too small to express it. Lots of sympathy and hand-holding from me
elpis we used the Sheep last night and it gave us one of our hour's sleep. I LOVE THAT SHEEP SO MUCH. It freaked DH out though
Tongue tie expert came and ummed & ahed about snipping what is a very posterior very minimal tongue tie. We said to wait and see as it's £150 for her services It's only my left nipple that's shredded so suspect it's not the tongue tie to blame.
Right, I'm going to get my little tinker to feed - it's not cool to feed every 2hrs at night and every 3-4 in the day!!!
Elpis, PMSL @ Ewen can flock off
Ah-ha! the jury is divided on Ewan... is he worth the £25ish? I need a casting vote...!
Wantan I never had a chance to find out about the cabbage leaves but the smell thing did put me off a bit - although Squid seems to have found them helpful.
Crazypaving try not to panic about the sleep thing. I know it's easy to say that but we had a couple of nights last week where I thought I might never get to sleep for more than a couple of hours again. The last few days I seem to be adjusting to 3 hour blocks of sleep and she is sleeping longer. Know what you mean about their poor wee digestive systems Try swaddling and then sticking bean on boob for a couple of mins - it is our magic bullet when she is windy and strainy, including twenty mins ago when she wasn't settling after half an hour. I only use it when she's restless and strainy as don't want her to depend on it every nap. Daytime naps she is an angel. Let's hope their digestive 'clocks' re-set to daytime hours soon and take care of yourself as much as you can. Is there anyone who can take your bean between feeds at night to give you a break?
The mum situation has gone from bad to ... batshit. Seriously. I am seeing a whole new side to my mum and it isn't pretty. It's really upsetting Thank God DH is on my side, assuring me I am NOT mental and that SHE is seriously bang out of order. He's normally so chilled and peaceable but he is really angry that she is heaping stress and guilt on me instead of helping me recuperate. I'm honestly not sure how we will get past this. Have invited parents up on Sunday when DH and PIL will be here - hoping it will keep us all polite to get the first awkward meeting out of the way. I actually feel quite wary of them at the minute
angelico much sympathy on the mother front, glad your dh is looking after you and hope that first meeting goes reaosnably well. Your dh is right, she is being unreasonable not you.
Have ordered a Ewan the sheep. Will let you know. At least it looks cute.
Baby has been sleeping angelically all day. Going to have dinner and then try to go to bed whereupon she will no doubt morph into a wakeful night time howling baby - never mind!
Did anyone else have fragmin injections after a section? I've got it for 7 days and it's soooo sore. Legs bruised everywhere. Also have very sore scar just now. Humph, whine, whine, whine! Just keep reminding myself though how much better I feel than last time.
Btw have uploaded a photo to Facebook group
Angelico I can relate to rows with (usually) wonderful mum - in fact we bicker a lot but she is the always first there when I need help.
I see most rows as a part fault on both sides (except with 1 family member of mine who thinks she is 100% right when she is actually close to 100% wrong - but she is weird). So maybe your mum is 10% wrong, or 90%,... or somewhere in between - does it matter? She will hardly think she got away with it, she can do it again. In fact you hold all the cards here. They are dying to see grandchild and you can withhold that, by having them less in your home. I think your DH is right - try not to escalate things. This is your mum. Somehow, in your fatigue she got a mixed message, and maybe she was a bit tired too - who knows. Be the bigger person, focus on her good stuff
My bean is a good sleeper, but I look back on photos of me and DH with DS1, and we look like zombies. You will look back amazed that you functioned at all. Forgive yourself and her.
BTW you are likely to have lots of rows with your mum re your DCs - they like to give them biscuits and all sorts of naughty things but the children love it and them.
I had missed loads of posts, when I posted there. I can't help myself giving advice, but I realise I am advising with very little information, and tender feelings involved - I mean all of my advice with the caveat no offence intended, and dismiss if you know it does not suit your situation.
Re: Night feeding babies - we actually haven't done anything wrong. It is apparently a residue of our cave man existence that now is due to hormones. Babies had to catch it while it was flying (Night time)
For sore nips - I swear by Multi-Mam Compresses. They are like aloe vera, wonderful. They come individually wrapped and having had mastitis, I would not use a tube of cream for hygiene reasons.
smileyhappymummy They gave me Fragmin to take home too - had a whinge about it on another thread. Didn't get it last time, but I was under 35 then and I suppose the risk of a clot is higher now. I had to ask DH to do it as I simply can't inject myself, despite having acupuncture regularly. Ugh. They left little round bruises on my thighs and I'm afraid I 'forgot' a couple of doses.
Agree with you about bed sharing - the 'never share' advice handed out in SIDS leaflets is overly simplistic. I wouldn't have the energy to do a thing apart from breastfeed if we weren't co-sleeping. The irony is that DS will settle quite happily in a carrycot during the day if he's been tanked up with milk. I had a whole hour to do the ironing this afternoon.
Poor DS has conjunctivitis. I've dealt with it before with DD, but the poor thing is only 12 days old. It started in one eye, has cleared up there, and moved to the other where it's much worse. I'm removing the pus (or whatever the secretions are) with boiled water and a cotton bud, but it doesn't last long. Where can he have caught it? It can only be the hospital. Health visitor coming tomorrow. Hmm.
Lisbeth, sorry to jump in but have been quietly cheering you all on as someone who used to be on here with you all but miscarried early on. I just wanted to say your advice is always spot-on and you somehow manage to be direct yet kind in your support of these ladies. I am sure you are very much appreciated on here...as is Yomping's brilliant humour.
Sorry to intrude. I really do wish you all the very best.
Oh God. I looked up conjunctivitis in newborns and it can be a sign of something very serious - like herpes simplex, which can be fatal and when it isn't tends to cause disability. The fact that I found a few tiny ulcers inside DS's mouth two days ago (now faded) is compounding my fear.
Called NHS DIrect, who advised me to go to GP tomorrow morning. So I shall be there at 8am. Can't even think of sleep now. Please don't let there be anything wrong with him. I couldn't bear it.
elpis def go to GP BUT conjunctivitis and sticky eyes in newborns often due to tear ducts being immature so not fully draining. Worth checking but the scary causes are v v rare, can't remember the last time I saw one and see conjunctivitis all the time.
smileyhappymummy Thank you so much for that reassurance. I know it can't be chlamydia or gonorrhea, anyway. Am just surprised that he'd get blocked tear ducts in one eye and then the other.
Bookmarked also! Feel like things are 'imminent' (but then whenever I think that they aren't). But due on Friday and sweep booked for then
Quick update after my overnight freakout.
Saw GP at 8.50am - he started early to fit us in as there were no appointment times available this morning. Brilliant NHS. Was reassuring and, like smileyhappymummy, said sticky eyes are very common. Took a swab so we should know in a couple of days if it's anything sinister. DS is otherwise fine (I love the way he listened to his heart via an iPhone). He thinks the eye will clear on its own, esp with application of some breastmilk, but I have antibiotic eye drops just in case it worsens today. Will try not to use them. I didn't request them... Poor little thing now blinking through an eyeful of milk.
Elpis glad everything looks like it's ok. The breastmilk in the eye is funny - good image, and good shot, by the way!
Hi goldengirl, hope everything's ok with you.
Last night was as positive as the night before was horrendous, and my mood has bounced back as a result! My mood is a slave to sleep - wish it could be otherwise. DS2 was awake yesterday from 3.30pm until 11pm pretty much continuously which honestly just ain't right. He fed & fed & fed & fed, then produced a gigantic poo and passed out, fed twice in the night sleepily and efficiently (about 30mins per feed) and went back down again, then we had to get up at 7 with DS1.
I'd like to carbon copy last night to every night for the next few months please, that is totally doable. I feel human today! Just had a nap when DS1 and 2 were sleeping too! Making the most of the peace before DS2 "wakes up" around the 2-3 week mark (sings "Gremlins" themetune)
Has anyone else's umbilical stump fallen off? His fell off yesterday - that's only 4 days! DS1's took 2 weeks! I'm well chuffed, they're so minging.
Help needed from those handy in the kitchen dept, and from other 2nd timers with older children to feed - I need quick, easy, nutritious meals to whip up for DS1. I do have my own (very) little repertoire but everything seems to be very time consuming and I need to get him fed with the least amount of hassle whilst I've got this velcro baby who feeds all evening atm. Any lunch ideas gratefully received too - help help!
Just wanted to pop on and say hello to you all! Can't wait til we're all back together on the same thread again. I have a feeling that those of you who are a few weeks ahead of us late-October ladies will be able to give us invaluable advice when we join you here. Hugs to you all.
Thank you Goldengirl, that was very kind of you.
I've been there with the MC - I really really hope you get better news
I have been reading now and then, but am SO behind in posting I might have to just post my thoughts and then try and do EPIC catch up (on the other thread too.)
So, baby squid is 9 days old now and we are doing really well! I am very tired and cry and a lot, but other than that things are good.
a) breastfeeding - milk came in early (day 3) and engorgement only lasted 24 hours (very grateful). She mostly feeds every 2 hours and sleeps in between... sometimes it's more often.. I am managing the nights ok. Boyfriend takes her at about 9pm and I try and get some sleep, I find if I sleep between 9 and midnight (even if interrupted for one feed) I can manage the rest of the night easily. Have never been a good sleeper so not a huge adjustment. Breastfeeding doesn't hurt.
b) co-sleeping - I think I wrote a bit about that in my last post, seems to be working ok for us (though not quite at the point where I can breast feed in my sleep - that's the dream! I do wake up to her nuzzling at my breasts sometimes so I'm hoping with time...)
c) am bleeding lighter than a period now and I reckon it might stop soon
d) belly has almost completely gone and no stretch marks, don't hate me, can put on pre-preg jeans but not quite do them up yet, everything else in my wardrobe more or less fits, don't hate me
e) mood is very up and down, I probably sound quite annoyingly chipper right now, but I spend much of the time crying
f) baby squid seems super-healthy (i credit her never having been in hospital!) - she regained her birthweight by day 5 and is up 5oz now. She never had any jaundice and umbilical cord fell off day 4. She doesn't cry much, though she wants feeding ALL the time. She is a happy cute baby and I love her loads (except when I'm crying and hormonal, then I'm not sure).
g) have had visitors almost every day, pretty exhausting really, and sometimes it upsets me I'm not sure why, still they brought loads of stuff - have gone from having bare minimum of clothes to literally bagfuls - it's all too big for her though!
h) I had a graze down below (not even big enough to be called a tear) which was very stingy and painful for about a week but has settled now - don't dare look though! The anatomy feels different! Does anyone else just feel really HEAVY down below? I am trying to do pelvic floor exercises and they do help. I can stop myself mid-wee but oooh it hurts.
I am very, very happy not to be pregnant. I am impatient to become my "old self" - exercise and get back in my old clothes properly - patience, squid! it's only been 9 days... I have promised my boyfriend I won't attempt any real exercise until 1 month minimum. I have been out for a few short slow walks, which are ok but add to the heavy-pelvis feeling. I also went out for lunch with boyfriend, so fuck you! to all the people who told me I'd Never Eat Out Again etc etc.
I feel 100 x better about my birth having processed it for a few days. Now I feel proud and very lucky to have delivered my baby at home with no complications, and I suspect that's why I'm getting off light with recovery time too.
So that's me! Now I have to catch up with everyone, I miss you guys so much!
Baby planktonini arrived on 2 oct following a scorching 5.15 hour delivery. 2 cm to 10 in 2.5 hours, if you can believe it!
Unfortunately he got an infection and a lung tear (one probably caused the other, but who knows which way around) and so was in hospital for seven nights.
We just brought him home this afternoon. Now I will commence rejoining the human race... and mumsnet ;)
So glad baby planktonini is home again, sounds like a really tough time. Hope you're doing ok.
DS's eye much better and antibiotics still unused. Fingers crossed! I am now embarrassed about my overnight freakout. I thought I was going to be calmer second time round. Yeah, right.
crazypaving I'm actually drawing up a list of lunch standbys for DD, because we return hungry from preschool five days a week. I won't bore us all with the full list, but these things are my friends: potato waffles, low-salt baked beans, bulgar wheat, couscous, pancakes (batter made earlier), grated Emmental, mushrooms, frozen peas and sweetcorn (which DD will eat still frozen), rice cakes, mini houmous pots, cherry tomatoes, boiled egg with soldiers and ketchup, gnocchi, Parma ham, smoked salmon trimmings to stir through pasta, avocado sandwiches, Alvalle gazpacho in a Tetra Pak, frozen fishcakes and fish fingers.
planktonette so glad you are home and that your little one is recovering. What a horrid time you must have had. Thinking of you loads.
elpis thank you thank you for the lemsip substitute tip! I feel like a new woman! My lush DH went to get it for me and grilled the pharmacist to check it was safe for me. I don't know if it is a placebo effect or if not having had any paracetamol for God knows how long means that your body responds more, but I def feel much better for a dose, so thanks so much!
angelico what is going on with your Mum? How are you today? I totally empathise with the re-writing history thing, my parents do that a lot and it becomes impossible to fight against. Try not to let it spoil your babymoon, you have enough to cope with just now.
Has cwest updated recently? I hope she is Ok and out of hospital? Sorry if I have just missed her.
Love to you all xx
also elpis I am so glad the doc could re-assure you, what a fright you must have had. My DS has conjunctivitis early on and my good friend whose baby is currently 2 weeks old has it (baby, not her). Seems quite common as far as I know, so hopefully will clear up quickly for your DS. Xxx
Welcome home 'planktonini' - sounds like quite a dramatic start to life, hope things calm down a bit for you now.
Crazy not very exciting but how about; beans on toast, egg on toast, pesto pasta, frozen pizza and salad, fish fingers chips and peas, toasted sandwiches, jacket potatoes. Have you got a slow cooker?
Glad to hear your are home Plankton.
Squid I do feel different down below. I can't quite say what's different but something is. I'm scared to look!
I also feel better about the birth now that there's a bit of distance between me and it. It wasnt a good birth but it was a good outcome and that's what matters.
Thinking about you, angelico. My tricky MIL has surprised us all by being very well-behaved, but still very sorry about yours...
Sometimes - not often, but sometimes - these things are wholly one-sided. In your shoes I'd be making myself frantic trying to work out if I was the nuts one - in your case, it seems unlikely.
Whatever is going on with your mum is probably bigger and deeper than youand your baby. If she can't articulate/recognise what's really troubling her, it's unlikely that you will - and even if you can make a good guess, your odds of convincing her are very low. I've recently seen this play out between my mum and her sister, who was bereaved long ago and probably never came to terms with it. She also, we now think, never came to grips with my sister's sudden death, and six years on, projected a bunch of unrecognisable 'she's not coping' type attributes on my mum, resulting in anger, bewilderment, gossip, resentment, the works. (Trying to stay objective, outside observers think Mum has done a superb job coping - to this day its not uncommon for people to stop her in the street and tell her so.) (It was a well-known incident in our hometown.)
Point being, my mum eventually (and with great difficulty) came to the conclusion that if her aunt couldn't recognise her own craziness - which she couldn't, the roots were likely in the first bereavement about 30 years back - then mum would not be able to convince her she was being crazy. My aunt had a lot invested in 'not being crazy' and just as much invested in '(my mum) being crazy', so trying to convince her otherwise on both counts - especially coming from the 'crazy' one (my mum) - was never going to fly.
So my mum targeted the behaviour and only the behaviour. The specific actions she took were:
- Refusing to talk to my aunt on any 'trigger' type issues
- Talking directly to the people in the gossip circle about what specific things had Ben said that either weren't true or that made her angry, and why
- A couple of symbolic gestures to make it absolutely clear that this is Serious (she's not going to Christmas at my aunt's house for the first time in living memory)
- accepting her own anger and working bloody hard (it is hard) to accept that she will never get recognition for the bad behaviour from the perpetrator, not because the perpetrator is bad or wicked, but because the perpetrator actually does not have the capacity to recognise that the behaviour was bad.
It's thin milk, I know, but maybe a scrap or two might be useful. FWIW, they're talking again, and the folk who got sucked into the gossip circle are chastened and chagrined.
Hey squid, you're all about cosleeping - my bub is in a Moses basket, but it's lovely to hoik him out to lie next to me for his nighttime feeds. What are your top tips for doing this safely?
Goldengirl, hi, hope you're OK. Am not feeling very humorous today but glad to make people smile sometimes!
Just checking in with everyone to see how you are getting on. 39+5 (again) here today and just thankful that every morning I get out of bed (painfully) after minimal sleep is one less morning I will be pregnant!
Sounds like you are all doing amazingly well, looking forward to joining you in next few weeks xxx
Thanks for meal tips - think DS is going to be getting a fair amount of sausage/fishfingers & a balanced diet of cbeebees!!
We're off out to register the birth, catch up later.
Pops on to wave hello at all the moms!
somewhat patiently waiting for bean to arrive. 38+4 here today.
Question about names
Did you and dp/dh decide together or did he throw in the towel after labour and let you pick? Did any of you have the name 100% picked before the birth, and did any of you change your mind when you met your little one?
Dh and I had a short lust, but dh has now to d me that he does not like any of them, nor our choice for middle bame anymore. So I said lets go back and write out the long list again of all the names that crossed our mind at some point. I thought that we had gotten past the video game/movie character rediculous stage but I now see a couple mire like have popped up on there now and I want to scream. "Link... Morpheous... Really !?!?!? Ok.... Breathe beeble,breathe
Hi lovely ladies, finally a good check in to send a hug to all! Thanks again for sympathy re mum, she seems to have gone temporarily bonkers but things are coming round. I posted a lot about it on another thread and was really shocked at how things went for a while It's left me very wary unfortunately but it seems really common judging by responses. I didn't want to inflict it all on you lovely lot but you can judge for yourselves if you feel brave! Anyway parents are visiting at weekend when others will be here to keep things civil and will be keeping them to weekly visits for the next few weeks until I am back to 100% strength. DH (normally the king of chill) was furious about it all. His parents are here at the minute and are being so fab and helpful it makes me more sad about my own parents Thanks for all the advice, it's much appreciated. Sorry so many of you have these problems more frequently, I'm probably lucky things haven't blown up before.
Lisbeth took your post in spirit it was intended Hope all is going well with Paul!
Smiley has Ewan the sheep arrived? We need a casting vote before we invest in him
Elpis our bean has horribly sticky eyes at the minute as has my 8 week old nephew. DSis is dropping breastmilk in his eyes but with her first DS it lasted till he was 5 months. Our bean seems completely unperturbed by it all, it just ruins her good looks a little! MW swabbed her eyes but seemed unconcerned, it's just so common.
Crazy so glad you had a good night of sleep, it makes me feel like a different animal altogether!
Squid sending a big hug! I found I cried daily up until bean was about 12 days old but then most of tears in few days before that were over row with mum. Hopefully you'll feel more settled soon - just take whatever help you can get so you can get the precious sleep!
Bella and Planktonette thank you for the sympathy strokes and sorry to hear you Bella and your mum Planktonette went through the same thing. Re-writing events is horrible
Beeble am at "DH and I had a short lust" - that's what got us all into this mess in the first place
So to join in the hate parade - I now weigh less than I did before I got pregnant - am about 5lbs lighter! Still wearing maternity trousers just because they are comfy on incision. Baby is voracious feeder and putting on weight by apparently sucking me dry. PIL took bean up to sleep with them last night so DH and I had snuggle and a few hours of decent sleep - and for first time in ages I felt like the sex!!! BUT - didn't do it as I know it would have hurt abdomen. But still, the spirit was willing!!!
And I'm sure you've all been well warned but MW signed us off yesterday and had 'the chat' about contraception, warning you can get pregnant even exclusively breastfeeding and before your periods return. She said we have no idea how many couples she sees who are having 'Irish twins' (ie same school year, 10 months age difference!) and they are often inconsolable at first So beware the sex!!!
Think I have escaped for long enough... back to the grindstone! Love to you all xo
Hello everyone . Just checking in to mark my place. Finally have time to post but going cross-eyed with fatigue and need to jump in bed and put Baby Fjord's night time feeding plan in place. Hopefully, without screaming and tantrums, I can at least sleep the odd hour between feeds tonight! Having massive feeding problems which I need to sort out ASAP as I fear we're on the verge of Baby Fjord rejecting my boobs and my milk drying up . Need to go pump - shit! I forgot about that...just as well she's so adorable. Will try and read all your posts and catch up tomorrow if tomorrow is, indeed, a better day. xx
Baby first bubba born 2nd october 1st day home today After we both had an infection ended up with a section after horrendous induction more on that later baby has alreasy been in acute unit had lumber puncture had a canula in his hand and fot to administer antibiotics and been fed thru a tube.
Will post a pic on FB if ever stop breatfeeding he was a large 9. 2.5oz at birth
Morning lucky ladies with babies
Just posting to say we miss you guys over on the other side and think we all hope to be joining you all soon - leave us a little writing space on the thread & save us some please?!!
Congratulations firstbubba! Sorry it sounds like you've had such a difficult time. Very glad you're home and well now.
fjord sorry you're having such a tough time with bfing. Really hope the LC can help - but remember, whatever happens, how you feed your child does not mean anything about the mother you are. Your baby will be fed and loved whichever way it happens. Big hugs your way.
Angelico had a read of your other thread - you poor poor thing. You've had some great input there and I have nothing to add but lots of sympathy and hope the daft woman (ahem, sorry) sees the light sooner rather than later.
Beeble we had the name in concrete before DS was born. Last time I had a hormonal meltdown after the birth which resulted in DS1 not being named for 5 days, and we wanted to pre-empt that
orange glad you've got perspective about your birth - you've had a great attitude all along imo. It's funny how quickly time helps though isn't it? When I was in labour this time I was thinking "how did I manage to forget this?" And I was convinced I hadn't! Urgghhh, shudder.
Planktonette glad all home and well
Squid sounds like you're doing brilliantly - and I keep crying too! Mainly, I must admit, about DS1 who is just breaking my heart at the moment...
Nights have been a bit up and down here. DS2 still sleeps like a little quiet angel in the day in his moses basket and then struggles at night. Last night all was going well but after his 2am feed he did a massive poo. He was asleep but obviously we had to change him - cue much screaming then unable to settle til 5am God I dread him pooing, settling him after nappy changes is impossible and I'm always worried he'll wake DS1 with all the noise. A bit shattered today, and really should be asleep as he is now, but I have to go to the osteopath in an hour.
Speaking of the osteopath, my pelvis is agony. Absolute agony. So much worse than when I was pg. Struggling to walk, pick up DS1, do anything really. Desperately hoping the osteo can help because DH goes back to work on Monday and I'm stressing about how I'm going to cope with 2 under 2 let alone whilst being in enormous pain when I move.
And then there's DS1's behaviour....I can't count the number of times he's smacked DS2 on the head, has tried to do so with heavy toys too. He is being so oppositional and naughty, refusing to cooperate with just about everything. And on top of it all he's really subdued and not his normal lively happy little self. Whenever I talk about it I just cry. Where's my gorgeous little boy gone? Will he ever come back or is this going to be a permanent change? And I feel constantly like whatever I do to manage his behaviour I'm doing wrong, and it's just going to get worse and he's going to hate me and DS2 forever. I'm finding it so hard and am so scared about when DH goes back to work on Monday
Argh sorry massive downer post. Apart from DS2 and my pelvis everything is fine really. DS2 is so gorgeous and DH is being absolutely fantastic. And apart from the pelvis pain it is SO NICE NOT TO BE PG ANY MORE!!! Anyone else finding it hard to re-find their centre of gravity though? I think I must look a bit bizarre when I stand because I don't know how to do it any more!!
Oh and happy 1 week birthday to smileyhappymummy's DD and my DS2
1 week already
Hey there firstbubba - my baby also born 2 October, with infection + lung tear (bless the nurses, they never said 'collapsed lung' near us but that's what it was - sounds MUCH worse than it was for our baby, fwiw) and spent 7 nights in ICU. So, all my sympathies, do PM me if you want to chat about it with someone who's Been There recently.
Beeble - PSML at 'Link' and 'Morpheous'! Too funny
angelico 'Irish twins'? at both name and concept! Consider me scared into condoms! (Not that I could yet... Grumble mumble bah)
Baby finally has a name (8 days, beeble - and we found it REALLY hard) and is currently lulling us into a false sense of security by eating well and almost never crying. After the scare he gave us his first week, it feels like he owes us a rest! I know it can't last, but it's lovely for now...
Jeez, Angelico, read your thread about your mum and just wanted to say how sorry I am about the troubles you are having - it's actually made me worry a bit about how my parents are going to be, haven't got best relationship with DM and this is first GC for them! Very shocked on your behalf at their behaviour, especially emailing and texting DH instead of you! Think you have stayed very strong throughout and have handled it with a lot of dignity and think you are completely amazing for sympathising with others who responded when you are going through such shit! Hope next visit is better otherwise please don't feel bad about keeping them distant for a few weeks/months - as someone on your thread said, your DD won't notice and it will help you.
1 week old today - cant quite believe it! Still have very settled baby during the day and very unsettled baby who wants to feed all night and not interested in Moses basket at all at night. Have got properly tearful over the last few days, just uncontrollable weepiness, about all sorts of probably fairly silly things including
1) what if something happens to one of my precious daughters? Not helped by the wretched SIDS charity basically saying that anything that might help your baby sleep e.g. Co sleeping, swaddling etc etc might be dangerous. And warning you against getting too tireed on top of that.
2) dh says (and a,ways has in fairness) he doesn't want more than 2 children. Not even sure I do but finding it so hard to cope right now with the idea that I won't ever be pregnant again, won't ever have a baby less than a week old again, etc etc. probably just hormones.
Other than my own irrationality things generally going well. Baby smiley only lost 100 g from birth weigt when weighed the other day. Scar still hurts especially at night when turning over but manageable.
fjord you sound like you're having such a tough time, wish I could give you a hug. Feeding is hard at thr best of times and when it's a struggle its horrible. With dd1 we gave formula top ups and I pumped frm when she was about 3 weeks to 6 weeks old and it was soooo hard, I got so tired and upset about it. Whatever you end up doing your baby will do just fine - you are such a lovely caring loving mummy and that's what baby fjord needs. sounds like you had a tough birth too... Please do feel free to share with us if you want to but obv not if you don't, and be gentle wit yourself.
angelico awed by your ability to consider sex! I can't even imagine it right now!
firstbubba welcome to baby, sounds a rough ride, dd1 had similar when born (cannulas, iv antibiotics, ng tube and a lumbar puncture), felt bad to start with thwt I hadn't been able to stop all of that happening for her but absolutely certain that it didn't matter at all in the end. Hope you're ok and good luck with the constant feeding!
crazy hoping osteopath will help sounds miserable! Am sure that ds1 will sort himself out, I am managing dd with sticking to firm boundaries (it's tempting to let her get away with more because I do feel a bit sorry for her thwt her little world has turned so upside down but thinking thwt might just make her feel more muddled) lots of praise for the good stuff and trying to find at least 10 or 15 minutes a day to spend with her on her own - either me or dh. Suspect we have it easier than you though as at least she is at school during the day and being older it's probably a bit easier to talk to her though. At least one of my tearful meltdowns was because she was upset about having been told off for behaving badly and I just felt so guilty for having changed everything for her.
planktonette long may the peace last - you are quite right, you do deserve it after all of that!
Right going to post this now before it gets eaten by the computer!
Btw Ewan the sheep arrived today. Baby smiley certainly likes it, more news on sleep effectiveness tomorrow!
Planktonette So glad you are home, it must have been really tough spending the first week in ICU. A bit of a crazy whirlwind birth all round... glad all is ok now. Co-sleeping... the recommendations are fairly simple... keep babs on your side not your partners at least at first, no smoking or drinking, nothing that could suffocate them (so I keep my duvet and pillows well away, baby has her own little blanket) and watch out for overheating (same). With those caveats, it's very safe.
Take care of yourself chuck, been through quite a lot.
Smiley I'm not sure if I congratulated you already - so happy your birth was a lovely peaceful experience after last time. xxxx
wantanorange glad you are a feeling a little better about things - it does help to have a good outcome but that's not the whole story - I find myself ok most of the time and sometimes randomly burst into tears at the thought of having to do labour again! (getting ahead of myself a bit, baby squid is 11 days old!) Take care of yourself.
Beeblebear Feeling for you with the videogame names I would be furious!! We were down to two names for a boy and two for a girl, but it was a no-brainer in the end as my friend Jess the midwife was there.. cue tears all round
angelico I am at the incident with your mum, surely the rule is, people who have just given birth are expected to be a bit tired, hormonal and emotional!!! I can't imagine any of my close friends treating me like that.. I am so sorry you've had this to deal with right at the beginning of looking after your new baby. Am glad parents in law are good but... you have my sympathies. Yeah i would keep visits to a minimum...
Nice one on weighing less than pre-pregnancy! I'm not planning to weigh myself any time soon, but pretty chuffed I can fit in almost all my clothes.. give it a few more weeks breastfeeding and see if I need to buy a new pair of jeans or not. Every day they fit a teeny bit better, could just do them up this morning... was convinced it would take at least 6 months to get back to normal so an unexpected bonus
I have had sex thoughts about twice, but too sore down below still
firstbubba Congratulations on your baby, but that does sound like a very hard time. Thinking of you and hoping people are being very gentle to give you some time and space to recover. xxx
crazy paving So sorry you're still struggling with pelvic pain, that does seem very unfair and unreasonable on top of everything else... hopefully the osteopath will be some help. I'm with you on the so happy not to be pregnant, by month 9 that had got VERY old. I'm sure DS2 will settle, it must be a big adjustment for him and so frustrating for you... I have nothing but endless admiration for those of you with young kids and new babies, seriously...
Will try and write more regularly (and less volume!) xxxx
smileyhappymummy I so understand what you say about 'never being pregnant again'. My first and second trimesters were harder this time because I was off migraine meds as well as nauseous, but I still love being pregnant, and feeling so full of potential. I had to bargain with DH to get him to agree to a second child, and we couldn't house a third beyond toddlerhood without moving out of London, which would mean he saw even less of us. On top of that I'm 37 and have a still unpredictable chronic condition (and, hey, maybe even a job to go back to), so the arguments against it multiply. But never to feel all that again... Sniff.
And I write all this as a sleep-deprived, aching shell who's dreading DH's return to work next week!
DS is definitely hitting a livelier stage. He can how focus on me and wave his little arms in excitement when he sees a breast approaching.
Angelico I read your other thread and really feel for you. My mum and I have a interesting relationship too. Its sad but I literally cant even give her an inch or she just takes the piss. I agree with what others have said. Put some firm boundries in place and keep it simple. FWIW I think your requests were perfectly reasonable.
DD is doing well. Feeding is improving but still very much on demand, no sign of a routine. Last night was awful. She decided 4am was playtime and got really upset when I put her down to sleep, then she got colicky and didnt know what she wanted. She kept rooting but then when I tried to feed her she got even more upset. The night before that she fed beautifully, every 3 hours .
I cant beleive how much she has changed in just 11 days. She is so much more alert and her personality is emerging (she has one hell of a temper). She woken up with a really big milk spot on her cheek this morning which is somewhat ruining her look.
I'm having the whooping cough immunisation this morning, has anyone else been offered it? This baby has turned me into a human pin cushion.
firstbubba hope your LO is doing well now. Inductions are horrible, I dont ever want to go through that again.
Elpis at your DS getting all excited about boobs!
Hey peeps <feeble wave>. Really tired today even though MIL took Bean ON and she only came down for feeds. Think it's the constant '3 hours sleep, then awake for an hour, then 2 hours, then up for an hour, then oh ffs it's morning may as well get up!' You might get 5 or 6 hours sleep but it's not in one chunk. Poor Bean is asleep now after desperately trying and failing to have a poo. Find myself willing her on like she's an Olympic athlete approaching the finishing line - "Come on Beanie!!! Come on!"
Fjord really sorry you're having such a hard time - hope things get easier for you. Please don't be hard on yourself about the feeding, you've been through loads for your bean - no one could have done more Take care of yourself as best you can and if you do end up FF - at least your DP can help with night feeds
Congrats firstbubba and sorry you had a rough time And Planktonette also really sorry you had such a rough time, think in sleep-addled state I didn't really realise how rough you'd had it, especially because your messages were as upbeat and perky as ever You've been really brave and hope things are getting better. (On Irish twins thing - probably the kind of thing you can only get away with saying in Ireland! ) Also sending a hug to CWest - hope things are getting easier for you x
Crazy thanks for sympathy - and sending it back to you tenfold. Don't know how you're managing at all - seems bloody unfair you're still dealing with the pelvic pain. Your DS1 will be fine in time but can understand how upsetting it must be for you. He'll be fine, just nose a bit out of joint at the minute. Our bean is the same btw for the angel during the day, more lively at night. She maggoted about all evening yesterday. Got the Harvey Karp book 'Baby Bliss' - arrived today, seems to have good info about wind / colic etc and all the swaddling stuff, might be worth looking at? It was on Amazon for £0.01 plus £2.80 postage!
Yomping thanks for sympathy strokes If it's any consolation, you are kind of prepared for things to be a bit fraught whch will probably help you be more measured about everything IYSWIM. I was blindsided by the whole thing - never saw it coming. You may be pleasantly surprised by your DM - really hope so x
Smiley bear in mind I only thought about dtd (And DH doesn't know...!) Any verdict on Ewan and his magical sleep-inducing powers? And Elpis any change? Or can Ewan still flock off?
Squid again thanks for sympathy. On the weight loss - bear in mind I am 'voluptuous' to start with so have plenty to lose! In fact acupuncturist (Chinese, painfully direct) asked about my appetite and I said it wasn't great in spite of BFing. To which he replied, "Ha ha, don't worry, you have plenty..." and waved in general direction of tum! It was impossible to be offended as he was so merry and down to earth about it
wantan sorry your mum is a pain At least you sound well able to handle her and used to her antics. Maybe you would find the Baby Bliss book useful too because of the wind / colic thing? Certainly swaddling and Ssssshhhing does head-off meltdowns in the Angelico household while she's at the whimper stage... so far... Haven't been offered whooping cough vac, why are you getting it? To stop you catching it and spreading it? Or can you spread some immunity through BFing?
Our bean is now 17 days old! She is so long and already filling out, I kind of miss how teeny tiny she was at first but it's also lovely that she actually seems to focus now, really stares at our faces She's also smiling a lot and I know they apparently can't control it till 6 weeks but just occasionally she times it perfectly and smiles when we are smiling at her - helps get me through the evening 'acting the maggot' stage Any toys you can use with babies this young? Baby Whisperer book suggests drawing black marker lines on white cards.
Hi lovely ladies so behind with all the postings but just read all your lovely comments you are all so supportive and kind. Runs of to cry
planktonette both had a rough start but hopefully soon it wil be a distant memory.
BF proving diffiicult as he falls alseep roughly every 5 minutes and my milk only just fully in I think added to him being a large baby im a bit all over the place as having to formula top up. Also has a very red sore bum.
On the upside so glad not to be still pregnant!
Argh my Mum's here. I just need a bit of space to breathe...what is it with mothers? I know my mum has MH issues but she's so much easier to deal with when I'm not hormonal and sleep deprived....suppressing the urge to bury her under the patio at present.
My boobs have been engorged for a week. They're bloody painful and it's a bit miserable, they actually keep me awake at night (DS2 is good enough at that all by himself). My letdown reflex has already sped up and we're getting covered in milk at each feed. Feel like a right cow moaning about it, when fjord is having exactly the opposite problem - I sincerely and desperately wish I could send some of my milk supply your way It's so bloody unfair that some people struggle to make enough and others struggle with too much. It makes DS so miserable and windy and writhy.
angelico I am loving the stupid noisy sheep so much. If shhh works with your little one then white noise is likely to as well. He got us 10 blessed minutes to eat lunch with DS1 today, where without the sheep one of us would've had to bounce him around madly to stop him wailing.
Elpis how the hell did you get breastmilk in your LO's eye? DS has a sticky eye - it's really yucky - but try as I might with my rivers of milk I can't get a single blessed drop in his actual eye. DH thinks it's hilarious and keeps threatening to get the video camera Reckon I could get a high pressure squirt in his eye...
Anyone else's DP going back to work on Monday? I am trying not to go mental with fear!!!
crazypaving My boyfriend is going back to work on monday and I think I have so far changed one nappy and have no idea how to do it
My mum is coming up though (my boyfriend's mum is really hard work, but my own mum is really easy) so I am not alone though...
squid i was exactly the same with nappies with ds1!! don't worry you'll be fine - if i can do it you certainly can! hooray for good mums.
nb dh still changes all ds1's nappies on weekends [cheeky mare emoticon] although i fear that will change now with 2 ds to deal with. boo.
Well didn't I lern something today. DS is an excellent feeder, but gets dreadful wind after each feed. I thought 'eh, he's a windy baby - worse things happen'. But the community midwife was by today, and she said it was probably the latch - she showed me a different hold, and boom! No wind.
I haven't had time to practice and get it right yet, but it was a real eye-opener -clearly I have more to learn than I thought!
Oh my gosh firstbubba you're not going to believe this -
You know how our babies were both born on 2 October and were both in NICU with an infection for the first week?
Well I just saw your photo on the Facebook group, and you put a lovely photo of your baby Jamie...
MY BABY IS BABY JAMIE TOO!
Clearly our babies are psychically linked and will grow up to be BFFs
Crazy that is great to know about the sheep! I am ordering it tonight - thank you! My sis got me the little glow seahorse and it is lovely and soothing but stupid thing only plays for 5 mins at a time and then goes off. Think Ewan goes for 20 mins. Sympathy on the milk spray - sister is the same, she's like a water cannon! Can you express your milk? I would love to express some so DH can do some night feeds but find it quite sore.
Squid you will get the hang of the nappies in no time - I was amazed how quickly it comes together, had only changed one in my life before bean arrived Am definitely noticing a fast learning curve with baby stuff! Really glad you will have help from your mum, makes a huge difference if there is someone calm and sensible there.
On OHs going back to work - I cried every day last week thinking about DH going back. It is so shit they have to go back so soon. He's been back since Tues but it's been okay because MIL here. It's when she goes I will really notice the difference but hoping I will be slightly more mobile by then - can walk a bit more now but pushing buggy is a bit away yet. Still it's only been 2 and a bit weeks so possibly being a bit ambitious. Friend had CS, pushed buggy after 4 weeks and it really hurt so she waited till 6 weeks.
Any electric breast pumps people recommend? I have a Tomme Tippee hand pump but just hurts too much and hand expressing doesn't seem to get anything out other than a drip or two.
Had a cry this evening at 7pm (also known as cry o'clock in the Angelico household). Hadn't cried for a few days but I had a nap this afternoon from 5pm and woke at 7pm to find it dark. The days and nights are all blending together, just felt totally exhausted and disorientated like it was the Twilight Zone. It all feels surreal. DH and MIL were so great about it and comforting, made me sad thinking about mum and how I wasn't allowed to blame pain or hormones for anything after 8 days We're barely in contact at the minute other than her sending a text yesterday to 'jokingly' complain about MIL staying till next week as mum was supposed to be up helping. Yes because I really trust her to do that at the minute...
Late Late show on in living room - DH and MIL just called me in to see a couple with TWELVE kids The youngest is 2 weeks old. The woman is a hardcore Irish
mentalist mammy standing there with a big grin on her face surrounded by her thousands of offspring 2 weeks after giving birth while I weep and wallow in self-pity after having one ...
Planktonette - cross posted. That is so sweet about the Jamie twins!!! What was the magic hold / latch? Our MW was just like oh yes babies get wind
Am making the face a lot tonight. Clearly am in a cynical frame of mind
angelico - I have a which.co.uk membership. they have three 'best buys' - the medela swing, the medela mini, and one I can't remember. The BIG ones in neonatal ward are also medela. Sooooo, I think medela is the way to go I bought the swing (I've got loads of milk so I thought the mini would be a false economy) which was expensive at £100 but im planning to donate to the hospital, so it should get a decent work out...
Have you got a breastfeeding group near you? AFAIK they can be a bit militant, but very good if you've got a specific problem. I will go to one if I can't re-create the magic hold by myself. Re. Hold, there was millimetres in it, so hard to give tips!
Planktonette have BFing groups nearby but can't drive yet so will have to wait a couple of weeks. Was just looking at the Medela swing there Looks good! Sister really likes the Spectra 3 one but Medela seems a better known brand and apparently they have good re-sale value - although like the ideas of being able to donate it too! Do you find it sore? I find hand expressing useless and really sore and the hand pump is sore too and doesn't seem to get any milk. Maybe it's just me! Don't want to spend £100 only to find my boobs are no use at expressing
crazypaving Try dabbing a cotton earbud in the river and then waiting until his eyes are closed. Then run it along his eyelashes.
He's very excited right now. But then I'd be pretty thrilled if my cord stump had just fallen off, I had a pristine nappy on and was lying on a part-cashmere blanket.
I keep DD's cord stump in a little box in the bedroom. Have threatened to make her look at it unless she eats faster.
I've had three breast pumps ...
Tommee Tippee manual - cheap, but gives you RSI. Tommee Tippee electric - Christ, that was awful. Assembling it was like building a washing machine from scratch and to my horror it started sucking milk into the piping - God knows what would have happened if it had got into the motor. Medela Freestyle - expensive double electric pump that was a marvel when i went back to work. I could express 300ml in 20 minutes while on my Blackberry. So I'd definitely recommend Medela.
Btw, if you start expressing it's often best to have a go in the morning, when you usually have more milk. It also helps to either have DC next to you or at least think about him/her - I used to coo over the pix of DD on my iPhone to get a faster letdown at work.
Good tips Elpis
My sleep pattern is fucked! Slept soundly from 5pm to 7pm and am now wide awake even though bean is fed, swaddled and relatively settled. Typical!
That night was hardcore, and she's crying again....SAVE ME!
same here wantanorange.... just feeding every 30 mins and griping in between sine midnight
I feel like i must be doing something wrong
Ditto. Shes really unsettled in the early hours. She wants to latch on, but then feeding doesn't make it better so she gets really cross. I wish she's take a dummy because I think she wants to suck for comfort, but she does not agree!
Midwife told me to try and avoid dummies for first few weeks while getting milk established so i haven' t tried that yet...my supply seems good though (she's gained 8 oz above birthweight by day 11)... ah, i'm exhausted! health visitor coming monday i'll see if she's got any good tips
We had a similar night - feeding basically every half hour. She is a very sucky baby - managed to find her thumb and suck it last night which looked super cute, so I think a dummy may help her settle but going to try and hold off till she's a month or so to get breastfeeding properly started.
I try to keep reminding myself that this is all normal. That the night feeds are really important for establishing milk supply. That she is still very small and the only things she really knows how to do are to feed and cry.
But I'm knackered! She finally settled for a couple of hours at about 7am today.... Just as dd1 got up to start her day!
Mixed experiences of Ewan - night before last he was amazing and we had feeding every 1.5to 2 hrs but sleep in between. Last night not a scrap of difference - but 4 mega poos overnight which I think may have made her uncomfortable.
She is gorgeous though and I am loving the cuddles this morning. Just got to keep going and remember it does get easier!
I reaally feel for you smiley and wantanorange with other kids to look after too! It does get easier then...? I feel like i will always be this sexless jellybellied zombie woman not quite fitting in her clothes living in pyjamas bleeding and leaking milk!
elpis chuckling at the idea of using cord stump as a threat!
Breast pump wise think it depends what you want it for. Tried a manual avent Isis last time - sore and not a lot produced, a medela swing - didn't get much with that either but that was early days when was trying to express because of milk supply problems - used to spend 40 mins expressing for 30 mls of milk, would not do that again. Wasn't sore though. Once I went back to work when baby was 5 months decided to splash out on a double electric one - avent Isis duo. Cost loads (about £200) but could express about 12 oz in 10 to 15 mins and meant I could just give her breast milk till she started having cows milk age 1 despite working lots of shifts, being away overnight etc etc.
Yes it honestly does get better! I like your description though squid, I definitely feel like a jelly bellied zombie woman.... But I do still fit into all my maternity clothes just perfectly!
GIRLS - swaddle when they are griping! It is the only thing that works with mini Angelico if we are knackered and want her to go to sleep at night if she is feeling whiny and gripy and just generally fussing for no apparent reason. She fussed from 6pm till late last night and was all set to fuss all night This link is from a blog that shows the Harvey Karp way of swaddling - tight round arms and looser on hips and once you've cracked it escape proof! Bean slept for 4.5 hours last night and another 4 this morning which saved my marbles from disappearing over the horizon...
And on dummy thing - bean will sometimes take dummy, occasionally manages to find her own fingers and it has had no impact on her feeding at all - she goes on like one of those raptors from Jurassic Park - so really don't worry about trying a dummy at least. There is the added cute factor of dummy being a bit hard for bean to hold on to so she sounds like Maggie from the Simpsons when she sucks it
BTW Mini Angelico hasn't pooped for 36 hours (except a smear). Previously she was doing 2-3 poops a day. Phoned community MWife and they said not to worry as long as she keeps feeding and wetting nappies. Has this happened to anyone else? She's 18 days old now. We thought that might be why she kept fussing in evening. Still passing lots of wind. Didn't think BF babies got constipated.
Squid I feel jelly-bellied too, ironically more so since some of the fat has disappeared so it's even more... squidgy. Every day I get in the shower is a triumph as far as I am concerned! And also for the peeps with more than one child because you are beacons of super-heroism!!! x
ok seriously, how am I going to manage basic daily tasks with DS1 when I have DS2 who will. not. be. put. down and fights the moby wrap like a demented octopus?? Can I seriously leave a baby less than 2 weeks old to scream madly while I get DS1 his breakfast/change his nappy/whatever? How do I feed DS2 whilst DS1 is throwing himself head-first off the sofa?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh <tears hair out>
Angelico I was told that BF produces very little waste because it's taylor made, so some babies dont poop very often.
Squid I think it gets easier, and you get better at coping. Physically it gets MUCH easier, emotionally, it gets...different.
DS used to love being swaddled but DD doesnt like it much. I keep at it. When shes really crying it keeps her arms out the way at least so she can latch on.
Agree that those with toddlers as well deserve a medal. DS is 6 so much more independant, and we are relying a lot on the GPs. They've taken him to watch his first football match today.
Ive actually managed to do the dishes and get a load of washing on the line this morning by putting velcro baby in a sling. She had about quarter of an hour on her play mat and quite liked it too.
crazy you can let DS2 cry for a few minutes if thats what it takes. Its not like you're leaving him for hours.
Thanks Wantan - think you're right! Checked Dr Google and found a couple of old MN threads about same problem! Am at 'poonami' (read it!)
watch out for the farts, too, Angelico - they can get pretty stinky!!
The poonami arrived - just as friends did They got to meet the new Bean in a stinky cloud of noxious gas - yes Crazy the farts were spectacular, we all stood in wonder at how something so tiny and beautiful could create such an ungodly stench Anyway two malodorous nappies later peace seems to have been restored in Beanie's bowels...
Quick post re pumps used a medela symphony in the hospital which is the industrial version which was So easy to use. No other experience but medla does fare well in reviews i have looked at.
just to chuck another breast pump in the ring - the Ameda Lactaline Dual is excellent. The lactation consultant we saw for DS1's tongue tie said it was her number 1 choice but I know lots of hospitals choose the Medela. Figure at that price range they've got to be pretty much similar, but it is handy being able to do both boobs at once (you do feel like a freaking dairy cow though)
Thanks for pump suggestions! Sister is coming up tomorrow and bringing her pump for me to try so will let you know verdict!
MIL babysat tonight so we could go out for dinner - was really tired beforehand but so nice to get out! Felt so strange looking round restaurant - it's one we went to a lot pre-bean but that feels like a different life Trying to stay awake long enough to feed bean in ten mins then going to crash out! Here's to quiet nights for all of us! xo
angelico - I totally hated my tommy tippee manual, I had it for emergency use while bub was in hospital (ugh engorgement!) have used the medela swing now - not at all bad. Also comes with a super-fancy breast mimicking bottle, which I out together wrong the first time - milk EVERYWHERE. Once I put it together properly, it was fine... Five spills later...
elpis LOL to the cord threat! Hilarious!
Don't want to curse anything or make anyone feel bad, but it seems that baby Jamie is a thoroughly cruisy little man. He sleeps pretty much all the time, wakes exactly two times in the night making a grumbly noise instead of crying, and when he's not sleeping or eating (my lord can that boy eat!) he's staring at things... Disconcertingly he has a preference for very bright lights. It's weird to see him zoning in on whatever light is on in the room. A physicist in the making?
Following the midwife's advice and adjusting his position breastfeeding has had a massive impact on his wind, which I thought was just him (awful pain after every feed). I'm convinced - it is clearly a good idea for breast feeders to get advice from experts. Will be along to la lache league this week, for all that they're
militant firm in their convictions.
Baby also had first outing today - a walk in the botanic gardens! Only took us two and a half hours to get out of the house
Phew... survived the hardest 48 hours yet with Jess feeding every 20-30 minutes for 2 whole days and screaming in between. I was near collapse yesterday and started wishing i didn't have a baby...
then... miraculously... she just fell asleep at 8pm last night and woke up TWICE ONLY in the night, and briefly at that. I slept 5 hours in a row at one point!!!! (She was like this initially, before she turned into crazed milk monster - i thought i was going to have the easiest baby ever! hah) No rhyme or reason to what's going on, i am just rolling with it... last day of boyfriend's paternity leave today so at least he will have a happy awake girlfriend for it!
gave her first proper bath yesterday, she loved it, so cute (though did have to fit it in very quickly between 2 mega-feeds)
she is 2weeks old today
we have been out loads of times, boyfriend thinks it's v impressive, but i am still restless and impatient to get out again properly. we have been out to the market once, for about four short walks round the river, been to 2 different parks, out for lunch 3 times now (just to say fuck you! to the people who claimed i\d never eat out again) and to the children's centre for midwife appts 3 times. got newborn hearing test at the hospital wed and midwives have asked me to demonstrate how to bath her / change nappy at an antenatal class this week too (i hardly feel qualified tto do this!!!)
sounds like a lot, actually! no wonder i'm tired... still trying to master the moby sling, not very confident yet, though she is happy in it
really miss exercise but have promised boyfriend will wait till november. I miss my clothes. i am well small for maternity clothes but about a size too big for my jeans i think. i know i shouldn't really expect more than this at this point but oit would be such a boost to be able to wear real clothes again.... silly squid, focus on the important stuff,
going to catch up now, scuse typing, no good one-handed.
Planktonette Really glad to hear latch is fixed - I'm going to come out as a La Leche League member, though I don't go to meetings through a combination of working 4 days a week and no meet-ups in my area. It's just reassuring to read about other mothers who breastfeed toddlers, because it's so uncommon and regarded as wilfully perverse. Will maybe try to get to central London branch now I'm on maternity leave. Fingers crossed your local members aren't militant - not all of us are!
squidkid Am also at the one-size-too-big stage. I found it was about three to four months before I was back to my previous size and another two before I was too thin for pre-pregnancy clothes. I am dying for a swim but read that I shouldn't until my six-week check. Grr. Anyhow, lido where I swim in summer is now a numbing 11c to which I haven't been able to acclimatise and couldn't possibly take DD. If it's any consolation, slings are really good for building upper-body strength!
DS' wakeful stage is 3am-5.30am. He likes to just remind himself that he can have some milk, and then drift off for ten minutes.
Angelico the broken sleep is tough, isn't it?! so glad you have MIL there. I find if someone else takes her and brings her through to me for feeds it's so much easier - maybe i sleep better knowing i don't have to listen out for her waking? ah it's tough. know what you mean about the olympic effort too! baby squid looks so smug and happy when she's finally done a giant poo...
as for toys i was wondering the same... i have a book called "games to play with babies" asomeone gave me, but it's mostly about stroking/singing at this age. what do you do with the black lines on cards?
I am so sorry about the massive cry, we've been having a few of them in the squid household too... everyone keeps telling me this bit is the hardest.
and your mum is a selfish cow sorry
firstbubba thinking of you and hoping the bf-ing gets easier! i am putting sudocrem on any red bits
but not any kind of expert ask the 2nd time mums
crazypaing engorgement for a WEEK, poor poor you... i had a day and it was miserable..... i found cabbage leaves, massage in hot bath (if you can find time!) and ibuprofen helped....
hmmm, getting a bit tempted by this noisy sheep.,.. (nearly asked boyf to buy a dummy yesterday too but am holding off for a couple ore weeks
planktonette wow, i nearly called baby squid james/jamie/jaime too! it was my 1st choice for a boy and 2nd choice for a girl name, though as my mate jess delivered the baby i couldn't think to call her anything else! Anyway - good name!! salutes baby Jamie
it feels good to get out doesn't it? i tend to dash out and try and do everything i want to before she hsas time to need lots of equipment! we take one nappy change, sling and my boobs! (possibly this is why i am still finding outings a bit stressful!)
at Elpis's cord stump threat.
cross-posted with elpis - yeah, most people have told me 2-4 months... never really liked the sound of that 9-months-on-9-months-off business... I bought very few maternity clothes and am not keen to go buy a load of other sized ones now! I like exercise and healthy food so am hoping that will make things easier than if you hate both. (Could live with going one size smaller ... though tits might look a bit stupid. )
oooh!! "Play-gym" - gift from younger brother - MASSIVE success - from screamng to cooing in 2 seconds flat! I thought she'd be too young to enjoy the colours/dangling things... is just lying on her back looking really happy and interested!
Angelico a night out sounds wonderful! Did you manage to relax and enjoy it? It can be a bit surreal, seeing "real life" again! It will stop feeling so surreal, honest!
squid sounds like you're doing really well. And imo it's perfectly natural to have moments (some longer than others!) where you desperately look for the return address on this tiny squawking gremlin that's taken over your life. Children are wonderful but tough - mixed feelings is part of being human I reckon.
Elpis that's a rather antisocial waking time! Hope it shifts later quickly!
Planktonette really glad Jamie seems to be a chilled chap. Really hope for you that's his personality and you have a lovely easy ride!
I'm hoping that perhaps DS2 might have an easygoing personality that might kick in at some point... It's still possible, right?! He tends to feed very little in the day and either have to be carried everywhere or sleep tightly swaddled with the sheep making noise (his favourite seems to be the weird heartbeat/breathing/church bells combo ), and then feeds every 2hrs like clockwork at night.
My boobs are doing my head in, still engorged and I get random let-down reflexes at random times in the day which are really uncomfortable. I'm using Lansinoh disposable breast pads and having to change them regularly as they get completely sodden.
He's been asleep since his last feed at 7.30....will prob wake up just as DS1 goes down for his nap. Could do with a snooze today, feeling quite tired.
Angelico are you BF? What did you do about feeding when you were out? I'm worried about how much uni I'm missing, and DH is at home so childcare is not an issue but midwife said not to introduce expressed bottle until DD is 4 weeks.
I tried baby massage with DD this morning and she loved it. She wasn't sure at first but as soon as I did her back she chilled right out. She was an angel last night, feeding every 3 hours then back to sleep, now she is making me pay!
Crazy engorgement is horrible. Have you tried breast shells? I liked cabbage leaves too but I I did smell a bit funny!
Evening peeps MIL took Bean overnight and she slept like a champion - we got 5 hours!!! Followed by another 2.5. Unfortunately I got my seemingly weekly engorgement and a painful blocked duct. Sister was bringing up Spectra 3 breast pump for me to try (useless for my gargantuan bosoms although think you can get a special wide adaptor separately), managed to get an ounce off plus an ounce in the shower with crap Tommee Tippee handpump. Same thing happened last week - got engorged overnight Sat night, gone by Sun afternoon but fucking agony all morning Going to order the Medela swing so thanks for recommendations.
Also mum and dad came up for first time since 'the row' and all passed off peacefully. They picked up some bras for me on the way and brought some flowers. Having others there helped a lot. Hopefully in a week or two we'll all have forgotten it... Also had sis, BIL and 2 nephews plus MIL and DH. Am now exhausted from all the excitement - as is the bean who is now shrieking in the other room Shit better go, MIL is trying to settle her. More later... xo
Back. Thank God for that dude Harvey Karp and 'Baby Bliss' book about the 5 S's. Took the first 4 S's there but Bean went from totally overtired, frenzied screaming meltdown to sleeping like angel in 5 mins flat. Poor critter was knackered - have only seen her that mental a few times
Right, where was I?!
Planktonette - thanks for info about pump, going to order it tonight. I find with all pumps my boobs are obviously weird shaped or my nipple points up or something - seem to have to bend over pump with boob pointing towards floor which isn't very comfortable. So need a good fast efficient boyo so I can get the milk out fast. Really glad Jamie is so chilled - but then you were so brave and chilled in the stressful first week he seems to take after his mummy
Squid it's lovely you're getting out so much - can't wait to get to that stage! Have only been out in garden with bean or out places in car rather than walking there but really looking forward to just walking into town with her, picking up a few groceries etc The moby wrap seems to be identical to the Kari-me one but haven't tried it yet, did bring it downstairs though to practise Isn't it so brill when you get some consecutive hours of sleep?! On the lines thing it was in Baby Whisperer book - think at this stage they can only focus on black and white lines. Apparently you can get flashcards but BW lady suggests saving money and just ruling some lines on white card with a thick black marker. We keep forgetting to get a marker so haven't tried it yet. We tried play gym first week but it made bean go a bit nuts and overstimulated. Might try again this week...
Elpis your bean may re-set the wakeful stage - we were in despair when it was ON but it's easier to cope with now that she's having it in the evening hours.
Crazy night out was lovely thanks but was genuinely so weird to be there without bean, knowing that's what life was like before Major sympathy on the boobs Hope they go back to normal soon. Sister got mastitis but just managed to feed and pump like mad woman for 24 hours and she got rid of it. Know what you mean about the wee personality thing - can't decide about our bean. Most of the time she is angelic but occasionally has the mad meltdowns where she just gets herself totally worked up. Also little things like wind pains or pooping can set her off when she's tired. Don't know if that is normal or if she is just a bit over-sensitive about things.
Wantan am thoroughly overexcited about the impending arrival of Ewan the sheep! I am investing him with almost Messianic powers!!! Bean normally only feeds 4 hourly (breastfeeding), sometimes 3 so just fed her and went straight out afterwards as soon as she was in her little carrycot snoozing. Restaurant was very local so only 5 mins in car, we were only out a couple of hours. Baby massage is lovely, I love petting her wee legs and feet
Ooooh Downton Abbey is on at 9, looking forward to a ham and cheese toastie, cup of tea and a bit of a lech over Branson - assuming Bean stays asleep
Downton Abbey was tonight and I whimpered at it (blaming hormones!). Also ninja Bean escaped her swaddle and had to be removed from living room by DH to have mini-meltdown so I could watch it in peace! Am almost scared to write that she is sleeping peacefully now...
One arm escaped the swaddle before I put her down in cot and I foolishly was too soft-hearted to do it again... lesson learned as she woke herself up and wriggled to freedom! She will be trussed up like a loin of pork tonight!
The black and white lines thing was based on one pretty iffy bit of research and is now thought not to be true, but babies are drawn to high contrast colours, so any bright colours side by side or on a white background. What newborns love most is faces, especially mummy's face.
Angelico that you can pop out for a meal. DD feeds every 2-3 hours but likes to have 5 minute top ups in between, or to just suck me like a dummy, won't take an actual dummy though.
Hmmmmm Wantan will maybe stick bean back on the madly colourful gym mat and sod buying the black marker then...! She does love faces just lies and stares up, it's quit endearing
when I've had enough sleep
MIL going to take her out for a couple of hours this afternoon straight after feed. Ordered one of those vibrating chair things and the Medela breast pump from Amazon. They do a good deal at the minute - they have a 'baby club' which gets you £10 off baby stuff so got the pump for £84.99. Also if you have Amazon Prime you get an extra £25 off if you spend more than £50.
Don't know what is going on with my keyboard keeps leaving letters out and have to go back and add them in - grrrrr!!!
Angelico when you've finished with your MIL can you wing her over my way? She sounds amazing...
wantanorange have been using cabbage leaves a bit. Apparently breast shells are bad when you have oversupply? or something, mind's a bit fuzzy and can't remember what I've read where and why any more. Zzz. The engorgement is lessening somewhat - hopefully managing my supply already. Then when the next growth spurt hits all hell will break loose of course
Had a bit of a horror of a night last night with DS2 keeping DS1 awake until 10pm with his screaming. DS2 didn't sleep until midnight Poor DS1 went to the childminder this morning looking like a total zombie. I fear when I pick him up in 20mins all hell is going to break loose as he's going to be overtired.
DS2, on the other hand, has been feeding and sleeping like an angel since 8am so I've caught up on sleep today. Turning into a vampire slowly... Really hope this doesn't mean a repeat of tonight as I'm not sure any of us can take it! Poor DS1 particularly needs his sleep
Discharged from midwives today with DS2 at 8lb 8oz. Not gaining the full lb a week DS1 did at this stage but he's much less of a boob monster atm - am aware that may change! He hasn't pooed since Saturday, which in some ways is lovely, but I wonder if it contributed to the screamathon last night.
Right, better get ready to go and pick DS1 up. No doubt in the next 15mins DS2 will do a poo and wake up shouting to be fed
We've been discharged from midwives today as well - baby smiley now weighs 3.12kg - gained 120g from birth weigt and 220g in last 6 days. Really pleased esp as so different to dd1 who spent 3 weeks at around a pound under birthweight, so relieved as well. She is still spending most of her time asleep or feeding but does seem to like having a nice bath!
Planning to try putting sling on later today but not sure if it might be a bit sore in CS scar...
Hello you gorgeous mummies! Missing you. <waves and waddles grumpily back to antenatal>
hi mummies and babies, Just checking in to see what life is like on the other side. u sound like u are all coping amazingly well in the face of hormones, other kiddies, minimal sleep, sore tits, crazed relatives and loads more. hope to c u soon x
It's colic o'clock here - poor Bean is rippling with wind Infacol seemed to work at start but doesn't seem to do much now. We got Colief but MW neglected to mention that you have to express milk if you are BFing. Has anybody found any foods you eat that upset baby tums? I'm wondering is it things like beans, lentils etc or is it because I eat some cheese in the morning? Baffling. Don't like swaddling in evening unless we are desperate, tend to leave it for ON.
Bean fed and swaddled, radio out of tune to static. Asleep in 3 mins flat. Wish I'd done it hours ago and saved her an evening of shrieking with wind and tiredness
<Waves at London and Beccus> Come join us soon ladies - and in the meantime sleep as much as you can!
I'm after some advice if I may? I suddenly had horrendous worries last night. My DH works in London so if I went into labour, it would take him at least 2 hours to get home. But how will I know if its proper labour or just patent labour that could last for days??? How will I know to make that call???
I really don't want to end up giving birth alone in my house
We've been discharged from Midwives too, and had HV visit. DD is now 1oz over her birth weight. She slept like an angel last night, waking every 3 hours for a feed then staright back down in her moses basket . She's got a really sore bum though. GP was not helpful at all, his first advice being 'use disposable nappies' instead of reusables which is bollocks, don't know why so many people have an issue with me using them . We've had a very peaceful morning, just waiting for the downfall, she's bound to start screaming just as hairdresser arrives this evening I reckon.
LoopyLa You will know! You need to phone the midwives when your contractions are regular, between 7 and 10 mins apart and painful. Before that they will tell you to stay at home. Try not to worry, even quick labours arent that quick, my super fast one was still 3 hours. First labours tend to be longer too.
Just a quickie
My mum is here! She knows things about babies, she wants to hold and play with and sooth Jess all the time, she keeps trying to make sure I get lots of naps and breaks... I even got two hours snuggle-time with boyfriend this morning!! (Not up to sex or touching anything down below but fooling around like teenagers and unable to stop laughing after attention results in spontaneous quantities of milk)
I feel so much better, wish she could stay forever. she is full of lovely sense and advice. I had a lightbulb moment where I realised Jess doesn't ALWAYS want milk when she's grouchy, sometimes she just wants cuddles or playing or bouncing or rocking. Life has been much easier since. Though I am still sleep deprived and hormonal.
Managed to go out today to get a few bits from the shops, with jess in the sling, only took 15 mins to get ready which I am dead chuffed with myself about. Also feeling/looking like my normal self in skirts and tights and tops, not quite back into jeans but hopefully it will come. Did a very gentle 15 minutes "post-natal rescue" workout this morning, it felt good. mostly stretches and pelvic floor exercises.
Having a nap now.
Morning ladies Ewan has arrived and is lovely! Bean seems to like him. I also assembled her rocking / vibrating chair thingy and felt rather heroic Hardest bit was actually finding the screwdriver, not using it...
Have any other beans come out in little spots all over forehead? Came up a few days ago. Think they are little milk spots, started pink and have gone to little white heads, bleugh! With CS Bean came out all perfect and unsquished. Now 3 weeks today she has...
a) A spotty forehead
b) Yellow-green alien slime from eyes
c) Dry skin on arms and legs - this is going away now thankfully.
It's not her best look! Just read a forum that says try a bit of breast milk on them, otherwise they go away in a few weeks... fingers crossed!
Squid enjoy having your mum there!
Quick pop on to say hi and coo over your babies!
And a message for Fjord, have been thinking of you, hope you are OK and things are getting better with feeding.
yomping, loopyla, beccus, londonmrss we miss you! I hope you will be over here soon.
angelico yeah my little jess is the same... perfect skin on delivery (though strangely shaped head from hours and hours of squashing her!) and now lots of "baby acne" and little scratch marks where I've not very successfully filed her nails down. Oh yes and peeled like mad last week, particularly hands nad feet, that calmed down with a bit of olive oil. Apparently the spots are normal and won't trouble them and will just go away, agree they'renot as cute though!
Mum has bought me bouncy chair as she swears it settled all of us when little... will try it later and report back! in the meantime have got up to check worriedly on baby after 2.5 hrs sleep and she's STILL asleep, woo! so I've come back to bed...
Yeah been thinking about you too, Fjord - really hope you're ok.
Got a friend here today helping which means I still haven't officially done my first day alone! DS2 has so far slept through all the major points of the day, like mealtimes, but he also did a directional poo which destroyed yet another outfit and his nicest blanket and DS2 has done 2 poos today too. So very glad of an extra pair of wiping hands! I still can't imagine a day by myself - such a chicken I am.
DS2 awake gotta go
DD's nappy rash is causing her so much pain she wont stop screaming. I feel like the worst mum in the world.
orange it's not your fault! have you tried metanium?
angelico i too have a spotty baby tis nothing to worry about.
want Also have bad nappy rash here and would highly recommend Bepanthen can be bought in supermarkets etc has improved it greatly as was red raw
Found Kamillosan very good last time round for nappy rash. Thank God none so far with DS - just neat-constant farting, hiccuping, belching etc.
metanium always worked so well for me.
Big love to all of you. V. Excited to join you, hopefully soon.
Hello ladies, it's my due date today but Smorglet seems very comfortable where it is for now. I had a cuddle with an (almost) newborn on Monday and it was just wonderful - her little head was tucked under my chin and she made all these snuffling noises into my neck. Was rather hoping it would kick things off, but nope. Going to the clinic later for a scan and foetal heart monitoring just to check all is well, hopefully see you on here soon
Quick Q for all you new mummies and second timers... what would be a good, useful, not-too-expensive little gift to take a new mum? Preferably that is easily obtained in a supermarket? Meeting up with NCT group today and 2 of them have had their babies (grr!), want to take them a little something but want to steer clear of flowers and babygrows etc as am sure they are already drowning in them. Want to take something thoughtful and useful but not too much as I don't really know them that well.
And by the way, I am so rubbish that the only reason I thought of taking along a gift is because I dreamed that I took them flowers, then woke up thinking "actually, it would be nice to take them something"!
Will be leaving to meet them all for coffee at about 10:10am so need suggestions by then - hoping to capitalize on the fact that your babies are keeping you awake so you might be around to offer advice <evil grin>
Thanks in advance xxx
I have very much appreciated being bought chocolate - does help when knackered in the middle of the night!
Someone bought me a "new mum bath soak" -been having baths as much as possible to rehab my bits so that was very welcome, have seen them in the supermarket in baby section
ok TMI alert but question about lochia - had been bleeding less & less to the point where I was going to switch to standard sanitary towels, but in the last 2 days I've been bleeding reasonably heavily again, dark red blood. I'm discharged from midwives - should I contact them or is this normal? No clots or anything.
Thanks, have decided, for future arrivals, on a little "new mum" pack containing:
- tiny pot of CJs BUTTer
- Huffle's Earth Mama Angel Baby bottom spray (looks lovely!) or some bath soak if can't get hold of the spray.
For today, I'll go with chocolate and the pot of CJs as I have a few of these that I ordered and think they would make lovely gifts and I can always get more before Baby Yomping arrives on the scene.
Any further suggestions appreciated, as there will be lots of new mums in my NCT group (plus a couple of friends with imminent new arrivals) so I can always add in extra/better things as more babies arrive!
Nappy rash is much improved this morning. I used Bepanthen its worked great. Thanks for the tips.
Yomping Chocolate. Definately chocolate! Hand cream? For all the constant washing of hands we have to do now.
Crazy I am no help to you here - but having the same problem to a lesser degree Bean was 3 weeks yesterday and I am still bleeding reddish-pink blood, thought it would have been gone by now. I can get away with those Always Dailies panty liner things (does anyone else want to boke at the name 'panty liner' - so fecking twee!!!) but wish it would hurry up and stop! Let me know what they say. Oh - and mine stopped completely after about 6 days - only to return a few days later so maybe it comes out in its own time?! Elpis / Cwest / any other CS ladies from 3 weeks ago - want to share your lochia loss?!
Yomping your gift sounds lovely One really useful thing I have discovered is giant Muslins for swaddling - the one I have is by Weegoamigo, can get them online or at a baby shop miles away from us. It was about a tenner in the shop.
Orange we have bepanthyn (sp?!) too, it seemed to do the job when we got it. SIL got it for us.
Smiley did you try your sling yet? We have two second hand types - a kari me (basically same as Moby) and a Baby Bjorn. Had longish walk yesterday but couldn't manage buggy / carrycot yet as it's quite hilly here so MIL pushed. Was thinking about trying the sling but not sure how abdomen will take it...
Breast pump and 'Miracle Blanket' swaddle have arrived. Swaddling is our salvation - the only thing that brings the bean back from the nightly 'arms flailing, back arching, windy, colicy, agonised screaming' mentalist session It's like good voodoo!!! Swaddle, put her on side, do the ssshhhhh loudly in her ear while jiggling her a little - within 3 mins she is out for the count. MIL took her last night for us to sleep between night feeds and bean was hysterical so I went up and worked the magic. MIL couldn't believe it and this is a woman with nearly 50 years of baby experience. Magic I tell ya!!!
X-posted Orange glad it worked SIL got it for us and she has 3 kids so knows her baby potions...! I'd never even heard of it before!
marks spot and kicks somebodies cat out of babies Moses basket
Managed to get a few hours "sleep" tonight. Still having contractions about 8 to 10 min apart and feel a bit Crampy. Going to try and go back to sleep now and then go for a walk in the morning to see if I can speed things up at all.
Hope to join you all soon!
La la la, <whistles> don't mind me, just restocking cupboards with biscuits and cake and having a quick dust and hoover, suspect some more might be joining you soon (not me, you understand, this baby is claiming squatter's rights on my uterus and is going to need an eviction order...)
Pops in, has a biscuit. Waves with cannula In my wrist and shows off lovely master Midget the singularly most chilled baby in the universe
Way to go, midget!
Product recommendations: In NICU (where I assume they REALLY know what they are doing!) they use:
Cotton and water for baby bottoms
Bepanthen for nappy rash
Medela breast pumps
Hope that helps!
I am still enjoying time with my mum who takes Jess every time she falls asleep - I am much better rested especially in the day. Jess sleeps beautifully most of the day and until about 2am and then ... she doesn't cry or anything, but she just loudly SNUFFLES and WAVES ARMS and WHINGES until about 10am... it is exhausting and I don't know what to do with her at that time. She wants feeding but only feeds for a few minutes before either choking or falling asleep very briefly... she really just wants holding and rocking but I am a bit exhausted after doing it for hours on end in the night... any suggestions or do I just need to sleep when she sleeps and accept I'll be getting up at 3am from now on??
We went for her hearing test at the hospital today and then for lunch in a cafe afterwards. It was four hours in the sling and she slept for the entire thing, so my carefully packed changing bag and carefully constructed breastfeeding outfit weren't even needed. I am a big fan of slings. (Though I think I probably need a pushchair as well and cannot face the research. Someone tell me what to buy... has to be lightweight, small, will only use it occasionally when sling not suitable... don't want to spend millions and will prob look for it second hand on ebay)
I am 17 days postpartum and definitely "on the mend". Managed a postnatal workout dvd yesterday (it was gentle), haven't bled for 24 hours (though like crazypaving bleeding did nearly stop at 10 days, but then re-started)... I could do my pre-preg jeans up this morning! My mum says I don't look like I've recently given birth at all... well all that healthy eating/exercise during pregnancy must have been good for something! I even, ahem, managed a wank this afternoon in bed, first one since giving birth (that is the longest I have gone without some self love since I was about 14!) Think I want to wait a week or two for sex though.
This has wandered into self absorbed TMI so I will stop and do a catch up instead.
Angelico you seem like the expert in soothing babies now! Does white noise bother you, can you hear it (sorry if stupid question). I was swaddling baby squid at first but then worried she was too hot so have stopped. Perhaps I could try with a lighter weight cloth though, I was using a fleece.
Wantanorange congrats on wellfed, sleeping baby! i agree the reusable nappies comment seems very stupid. I have a stash of reusables to try but still on disposables at the moment, only attempting to learn one skill at a time. Also the reusables look too big for a newborn, though baby is rapidly growing (now too big for her dino-suit which fitted her perfectly at birth, sob! how is she growing up already?)
Glad the creams advised on here worked for you.
crazypaving I have not had a day alone yet either (monday will be the first, am very scared!)
Has anyone heard from fjordmor? Am worried about her
YompingJo Bath soak? What's one of those? Oh, the things I give DS and DD. Chocolate good. Any food good, especially M&S food hall variety.
midget Congratulations! Pic soon?
Angelico I bled for six weeks last time - GP said that was normal. I too bleed on and off. Read somewhere that if lochia became redder and heavier again it was a sign you were doing too much and should slow down. As if I have a choice! Did preschool drop off and pick up today (four buses, all with DS in a sling), took DD to playground, queued in post office with them both, cooked lunch and breakfast, did laundry load, sorted out newborn hearing appointment, cleaned out revolting food waste bin, breastfed every half hour or so, stroked and patted colicky DS for two hours, will make dinner tonight for us all - seriously, how do I 'slow down'?
Here endeth the complaint...
squidkid I've had some success with holding both DCs on my chest, tummy down and head tilted to one side, when they get fractious for no apparent reason. Obviously it's cosy snuggled in a cleavage and you can stroke their backs and nap a bit yourself, or read. Top-quality sleep obviously impossible but it sometimes halts the flailing.
Squid I find reusables can be bulky on newborn. I have a few called Lil' Joeys which are actually designed for prem babies but good for the first few weeks. I see no reason why GP would assume they are the problem.
DD is growing to fast, they dont stay squidgey long enough!
I've dug out my pre pregnancy clothes and they fit! I just need some warm tops that are suitable for BF now. I really feel the cold
Quick check in - congrats to Midget on DS!!!
Squid I use a muslin swaddle which is nice and light - the Weegoamigo one mentioned upthread. Only put a single layer of crocheted blanket over the top even at night and just set it on her rather than tucking it in. Keeps her just perfectly warm but then it is quite cool here being oooop north. Do swaddle - it will really help as the arm waving is what keeps our bean awake and the swaddling stops it. She screams bloody murder while being swaddled, then as soon as it's done she lies in a happy daze! White noise - I can hear it even through earplugs so tend to use it more during day time or before we are in bed to let her get to sleep. At night I just do the ssssssshhhhhhh loudly 6 inches away from her ear. Great that your mum is helping out Ask her how I can make bean less windy, will ya?! She is RIPPLING with wind again today Thought BFing was meant to be better. Honestly don't know if it is how she latches or what.
Elpis good to know about the 6 weeks for lochia - thanks! MW had me worried it was abnormal!
First day alone for me tomorrow!!! Aaarrrggghhhhhh!!! Friday am cheating and have a friend calling. Had visitors today and it really does throw Bean out of routine It is lovely to see everyone so happy when they see her but then we are left with bad-tempered baby for rest of the day. She is totally exhausted now so going to swaddle her this evening so she can catch up on nap time, she has just cat-napped on and off all afternoon. How are you all handling visitors? Is it normal to feel like just locking the door and keeping the world away for a few days?!
Oh - and friend posted this link on my FB - very funny! Apologies - it's a Daily Mail link - but taken from a parenting blog so not the usual mixture of bile and hatred: New Parent Test: are you ready to be a parent? Might post it on AN thread too...
Yay I can join! Imogen Rose born at 4am this morning. Very happy! Feeding well but nipples already sore- any tips?!
Congrats again lizzie If you are still in hospital get MWs to help you as much as poss with breastfeeding and make sure bean opens her mouth really wide and grabs loads of boob rather than just nipple. Our bean is a great feeder but I have noticed she gets lazy especially when she's sleepy and just slurps on the nipple so I always open her mouth and relatch to save later agony. Good luck! ps ask for lansinoh sample if you need it - I haven't used it since but did use it in hospital - seems to help some people.
Congratulations lizzie and midget! Brilliant news!
DS2 is 2wks today, and the sleepless nights are starting to feel like a bit of a grind. And we've still got months to go! Struggling not to snap at DH Poor DS1 is still wandering around looking like a miserable zombie - totally exhausted. Not sure if it's cos he's going through a growth spurt, a massive language expansion, an emotional upheaval, not sleeping well, or a combination of all of the above. Anyway, enough of my guilt...
Angelico interesting to read about all the S's. I've been doing the swaddle, side, LOUD SHHHHHHH and bounce/pat with DS - it works more often than other stuff. Seem to remember doing it with DS1 too - never knew it had a name!
I've got a lovely friend who came on Tues and is coming again on Fri to help with both the boys. She is amazing (has 4 boys of her own, eacha year apart ) and is really helping BUT she wears really heavy perfume and when she holds the baby he stinks of her. That probably sounds incredibly petty and ungrateful but my sense of smell is off teh charts at the moment and his smell is really important to me. Can't bear him smelling of her realy strong perfume! Need to just get over it... She bought DS1 an amazing train set which he loves, and consequently thinks she's the best thing ever. Just wish we had a bigger house so I wasn't constantly tripping over the damn thing...anyway, enough moaning crazy!!
Taking DS2 to the feeding clinic today to try to sort out his windy clicky latch. Damn wind, the bane of so many of our lives! Still, the noisy sheep (as DS1 calls it) seems to soothe a lot of that away - still loving teh sheep!
Squid, for bfing related stuff, check out kellymom - it has lots and lots of really really good info. Used it a lot in the past.
Crazy I would love to get to feeding clinic to see if they can help with wind - any tips pass them on please! I still can't drive there
Bad night last night - think I overdid it yesterday and was quite sore so when it came for time to settle bean after 5 am feed I just couldn't swaddle her and do the jiggly bouncy thing to settle her. DH tired and can't do it properly so she lay in basket fussing and whimpering for an hour and a half till I was crying with tiredness and terror of managing today alone, sore and exhausted Redeemed herself slightly by letting me doze from 7.30 till 9 but am fucking knackered. She is now asleep in living room after morning feed so I am going to try and wheel her into bedroom and go back to sleep.
MIL away home and I will really miss her, she is so kind and helpful. Here's to all fab PIL
My mum goes home to Australia in an hour!
(In all seriousness, I am well upset. Crying everywhere.)
Joining in on the amazing mothers front.. mine has been here since Monday... is leaving tomorrow, wail! Last night she took baby at 3am, managed to soothe her to sleep and let me and boyfriend sleep/snuggle till 7.30am with just one waking for feed! Then she cleaned my whole flat. Claims she enjoys doing all this. Keeps gving me time to have baths, do exercise dvds, cook, feel human! Then when I do go back to baby squid I love her rather than feeling desperate and useless! I DON'T WANT HER TO GO!
Completely forgot to say: Elpis you are either a. superwoman or b. utterly bonkers. Can't believe how much you're managing to do, lots of respect from me.
Failed to go to bfing clinic today because I simply couldn't be bothered DH won't be impressed - he was trusting in it to sort out our nights of baby with sore tummy. I did however manage to get to the shop with baby in moby wrap to get milk. Baby screamed in house, quiet outside and in shop, and screamed again when back home. What's that all about? Was really hoping to use the moby at home so I have hands free for DS1, but it ain't looking good....should i just persist?
Not sure whether I should tell you this. Breaks my rule on separating RL and Mumsnet. But I may well be on C4 News tonight. They wanted someone prepared to breastfeed on TV. Hope I was discreet enough. DD loved the studio...
Thanks crazypaving - so sweet of you! Can't believe I did the TV thing WITHOUT ANY MAKEUP (because I was in a hurry and looking after DD and DS) or that I told you ladies about it... They wanted me to bf DD too but I said no - I don't really do it in public any more and anyway viewers probably not ready... And I didn't want to flaunt her on TV - too much like that US magazine cover that caused so much upset. Anyway, main achievement would be to come across as vaguely normal and not a fundamentalist... and I am not going to watch it.
Commiserations to all those with mums going home... You'll be fine - sleep when baby sleeps and don't take opportunity to do housework.
Thanks Angelico and wow Elpis! Wish I'd read in time to watch your channel 4 bit!
Thanks for the breast feeding advice. I did get quite a lot of advice in hospital. Day 2 of Imogen's life and she's feeding we'll which is good - no pattern though eg just had random 2 hour feed twice on each breast. Got the Lansinoh, too. Fed on and off all night last night so hoping for a bit of sleep tonight.
Oh and she hates having her nappy changed! Poor thing must feel the cold- get very angry indeed! Midwife told me to put my little finger in her mouth to calm her earlier, but hello!, I can hardly change her then can I with one hand otherwise engaged! Made me think about dummies but I'm sure you're not supposed to go near them till at least 6 weeks.
Evening peeps. Elpis sorry I missed that! Lizzie glad feeding going well x
Crazy how did you get on with the sling thing?
Big hugs to Planktonette and Squid - I feel your pain although in our case it's MIL going home You'll be fine though - probably a bit more tired initially but fine.
Just swaddled bean so I can get some sleep. DH got home earlyish from work think he was afraid I was going to chuck myself in the sea with sleep deprivation...
Have any of you had a UTI before? I never have but think I might be getting one Haven't been drinking enough with BFing I think. Getting crampy pain in abdomen, lower back ache and twinges down below. Also hardly peeing and was feeling really cold in bed earlier. Does this sound like a UTI? Can't even drive to GP tomorrow if it is Can I defeat it by just drinking litres of water?
Angelico That does sound like a UTI, but worth going to GP if it gets any worse just in case it's a post-CS complication. I'm not speaking from much knowledge or experience, but sometimes an infection does develop. But I don't want to be alarmist and if you're getting stinging/ discomfort when you pee then it does sound like cystitis. Lots of water will do no harm!
PS Plus health visitor/ midwife should come and see you rather than having to go to GP! Give them a call first if it's not better tomorrow.
Is it possible for there not to be any milk left?! DD2 been feeding for 3 hours now- still wants more but if I squeeze myself there's def nothing there (unless her sucking is more efficient?).
Hi! Finally joining PN thread! Getting some normality, will catch up soon. All not quite to plan but coping! Am sure I've missed lots of new babies!!!
Hugs to all, miss your chat and advice! Xx xx
Yay huffle! Welcome!
angelico the classic sign of a UTI is burning pain when you wee - often at the end of the wee (starts ok, becomes horrific.) you can sometimes manage the symptoms with loads of water/over the counter meds, but to get rid of it, you'll need the antibiotics.
lizzietow is baby swallowing? Swallowing sounds like 'kef, kef, kef'. If not swallowing, I think that means no milk...?
elpis, could you step in with your LLL expertise on this one? I'd like to know too!
Squeezing's not as effective as a baby suckling because it doesn't usually prompt the letdown reflex... So I'd let her suckle if she wants and it isn't hurting you - it will in any case prompt your body to make more milk. Sometimes they're happy just getting a drop every minute or so. Hope that helps!
Morning peeps. Symptoms seem to have eased off, just going to drink loads today. Also I bled quite a bit overnight so might have just been more lochia trying to escape. Getting bored of it now! Still Bean slept like a champ last night and only swaddled her for one out of 3 sleeps so that was good. DH lept upstairs to get a full night and tbh things were calmer without him! Think I respond to her sooner when she wakes whereas he lets her lie until squealing begins, then it's hard to settle her again after feed.
Bean has also managed to painfully 'dent' in my left nipple. Ouch. Think it's when she is in one of her voracious feeding moods and almost sucks the nipple off in her desire to feed! Ruthlessly popped her off this morning and relatched her about 4 times... Breast pump sitting on table but haven't had a chance to clean it yet so still unused!
Friend calling in ten mins and sitting with towel round me drying after shower - eek! And huffle welcome to the madness!
elpis just saw it on catch up - you looked great and came across as very 'normal' and articulate, a great ambassador for BF! Well done for managing to do that so soon after birth.
The stats for bf in France are even worse, but I'm lucky in that the clinic im going to is fairly pro and the la leche league coordinator is based quite near where I live apparently. Still I've had comments from various French woman about my breasts being for my husband?!
Where can i watch Elpis on tv? sorry, am a tv incompetent.
If i don't feed jess for more than an hour my boobs go rock hard and painful. Will it always be like this or is this just initially?
having a bit of a day when i feel v sad about my body and that it's not mine.
I know i am not really giving myself time to recover but i feel a bit tearful about it. i can put most clothes on but they are tight and look crap. my legs are madly hairy and i haven;t had sex in weeks. i just want to go for a run and eat less or something, but I know i need to be gentler to myself and i doon't want to hurt my milk supply
have got through very hard last few years by being a bit self-punishy and self-critical when low, pull your socks up squid, basically when i\ve been depressed i did excessive exercise and work because things like meds never worked for me, and it's not a good habit and i don't want jess to ever be exposed to it either
ah i dunno, this probably makes no sense.
is everyone here feeling ok about their births? i know fjordmor sounded upset... in the first week i had lots of nightmares/flashbacks about labour and contractions. now i feel - this may make no sense - really useless/unfit/unhealthy for having such a long labour ... i know i got through it but i was so convinced it was a 'failure to progress' the whole way. i didn't expect to struggle so much with the pain. i don't understand how i feel like my body let me down when i did deliver a baby (at home as well)
If i don't feed jess for more than an hour my boobs go rock hard and painful.
I mean if i go more than an hour between feeds.
The breast thing does get better, quite quickly too. Just a question of your body getting used to how much milk jess needs.
Is it worth getting an appt to get your legs waxed? I did this the week before I had Melissa, don't normally but feel ugly with hairy legs and its made a real difference. Just a thought.... Also if you can afford it might be worth going shopping even just for one set of clothes that fits nicely and makes you look fab now - you do look fab in your pictures, just need to feel it too.
You sound a bit low just now - be kind to yourself and keep talking to people.
I've been feelings bit rubbish that I didn't go for a vbac - would have been a bit bonkers to do so but feel weird about not having "given birth" - note to everyone else, I don't logically think this about sections just when it applies to me. Been having some nightmares about dd1s birth and feel guilty for her that this delivery was so much better. So I think it's probably fairly normal to have some mixed feelings about birth at this point. Hormones and tiredness don't help!
Just got to keep looking at these amazing little babies and reminding ourselves how clever we are to have made them!
Lizzie there is never 'no milk' so dont worry. Your baby is cluster feeding, it's what triggers your supply and it's really important to feed on demand during this. DD lasted 5 hours! Tis completely normal. It only lasts a short while, then will happen again each time your baby has a growth spurt, to increase your supply again. There is a website www.kellymom.com that is brilliant for everything to do with BF.
Squid Is there someone in RL you can talk to about the birth? I don't feel happy about mine either. In fact I found it traumatic, and I feel like, because it was my second and I was well prepared I should have coped better. Mine was way to fast and very frightening. FWIW, it sounds like you coped amazingly well.
Thanks smileyhappymummy and wntanorange
The wax is a good idea. i might do that. I think my bleeding has more or less stopped (only one pad showed anything at all last few days) so I'm sure i'll feel like my body is more mine again soon. i am just being impatient with the clothes, they mostly fit just not jeans. i just can't face wearing my maternity clothes any more which i know is stupid.
i know exactly what you mean about feeling rubbish about your section but you'd never think that logically or about someone else. i'm glad you had an easier time after last time but really empathise. we have such different rules for ourselves... and wantanorange i'm so sorry you found the length of your labour upsetting too! i guess it's just a pretty intense/emotional experience however it happens.
i will try and be gentler to myself. thanks xxx
i talked to my mum a bit about the birth, and jess senior, my mate who was there.
(I have been impressed with everyone who has given birth on our thread, however it happened.)
Angelico My guess is that your womb was shrinking back and that's what caused the pain. I had period-like pains in the first few days after the birth and that was despite being on meds for the section wound. For some women it happens later, but breastfeeding stimulates the uterus to contract.
squidkid Please be proud of your birth. Your body did brilliantly and you delivered with only a minor tear - isn't that right? Jess is healthy and happy and I promise the remaining weight will come off within a couple of months or so.
Evening Have left colicy bean with DH
and made my escape She's actually not too bad, just occasional squawks rather than constant screams. We tend to let her stay awake in evening and squeal / get cuddles rather than swaddling her, in the hope that she sleeps better overnight.
Squid please go easy on yourself. You seem like a very driven person and it's really admirable that you've been able to kind of tough it out before when you felt down - but if ever there is a time to be gentle on yourself it's now. It is hard and frustrating I know - think we're all experiencing it in different ways. You want to get out running and get into your normal clothes; I want to do some writing and be able to get out with the buggy for a decent walk. It's like trying to get in touch with ourselves again I guess, instead of just being this feeding machine But people keep telling me, "It will get easier!!! This stage passes so quickly, you'll look back and it will be a blur." Be kind to yourself!
And as for the births - frankly I think every one of us is a fucking hero! We grew an entire new human being inside us, then either had a tough labour OR major abdominal surgery - and then just had to get on with things, including breastfeeding. Was talking to friend about it today (and think it is good to talk about the births however they happened) and although my CS was a good experience in theatre I've been angry about how unsupported I felt in hospital with pain, especially by the midwives. The doctors were much more my advocates than the MWs and it has left me feeling quite negative towards MWs if I'm honest. The obsession with breastfeeding meant that I was in a lot of pain because of crap tablets and if I was ever mad enough to do this again I would have second thoughts about BFing so I could have some decent pain relief. It was only going to acupuncture that helped turn the corner.
Anyway, we struggle on! Am getting a bit pissed off with breastfeeding even though I've been lucky with it in terms of milk, latching etc. It just seems to mean I won't get a full night of sleep until I stop. DH keeps saying about pumping milk so I can sleep through but how do you do that without getting horrendously engorged? Any advice Smiley / Elpis / orange / Crazy / any other second timers? I mean if I decided to stop BFing tomorrow - how do I do it without boobs exploding?! I'm not going to btw but it suddenly hit me last night that even if I wanted to I would be in agony for days!!!
Thanks wantan-it's amazing what you forget! angelico last time, I literally just stopped after 5 weeks and it was painful for two days and then just normal again.
What was your acupuncture for?
Only day 3 of bf for me- its hard work and midwives give such differing advice! Persevering for now.
DD2 won't go in the Moses basket either for more than ten-15 mins. Obviously she needs to get used to it but any tips?
Quick pop on before trying to catch some shut eye.. Little baby bear born at 5:44pm. 7lb 10oz. Not sure how long. Started after 9am walkathon . And jalapeno toast for breakfast. Laboured at mil house until contractions were 1min long and 2 apartIn triage, by time I was assessed I was 9cm. Wheeled me into l&d and dh RANto admitting and I had to pant through contractions to stall, and 30 min of pushing they had to suck baby out due to dropping heart rate from things happening so fast. No time for pain killers. Did get a local before venetouse but didn't have time to kick in really. And now for the gory details, those faint of heart overt Thu eyes.2ND degree year, numerous stitches including to anus, and one massive hemmeroid. OmgStill working on the name. Hope to post again soon.Hugs to everyone!
After another night of 3 hours sleep, I'm thinking sod this! Heading towards bottledom!
Angelico when I stopped BF DS I didn't suffer to badly at all with engorgement. I dropped one feed at a time, rather than all at once. You could also express a bit off without express enough to increase demand, just enough to make you comfortable.
WRT sleep, I'm afraid you're right BUT it does get much easier to manage as they grow and settle into a routine at night, and go a little longer between feeds. I remember DS used to to feed every 3 hours and I found that manageable as long as it was the same time each night. The amount of time spent feeding doesn't take as long either. ATM DD takes an hour for each feed!
Lizzie It won't last! I promise! Your only on day 3? or 4? The constant feeding stops after a few days, a week tops. I think you need to give yourself a break. No one sleeps more than a few hours a night at first, even bottle fed babies.
Beeblebear Congratulations! So many of us had quuick labours, what's going on?! My eyes are watering at 2nd degree tear, hope you are not in too much pain.
beeblebear congratulations! That was quick!
You reminded me I never shared my birth story. Mine was also unexpectedly quick. I went to hospital thinking they would send me home. I thought my waters were trickling out but wasn't sure. Turns out they had broken, but I still had no pains. After a while I was getting mild pains and they said I was 2cm and suggested I had a bath, which I did.
Got out of bath and felt this weird 'pop' in my pelvis and suddenly the pain was so bad I was screaming. My partner had to insist they check me again as they didn't believe anything could have changed- and I was 8cm! This caused a mad dash on the bed to the delivery ward, and little Imogen was born 17 minutes later!
You reminded me though that I also have a second degree tear! Compared to the pain of the birth though it's nothing! Seems to be healing fine.
Thanks for your reassurance angelico!
Hello Can we join? I was meant to have a September baby, but my chilled-out boy came waaaaay after his due date (+19!!!) He's 12 days old today.
I'm feeling a bit blue because DH's 2 week paternity leave finishes and he returns to work on Monday He's really spoiled me - I've spent A LOT of time in bed being brought food and treats.
I've also got to do the school run with DS1 im next week
Just a quick pop in after a speed read - I will go back. I have rationed my MN visits right down as toddler goes bananas...
Angelico glad things have eased with your mum.
Smorgs Breasts are for husbands!!!!!!!!!! WTF!! My boobs were never sensitive before I BF and were SOO sensitive during my second pregnancy.
Squid I recognise that sensation. Boobs feel like boulders.
I have not expressed at all yet as I feel the advice you got was correct - the body is figuring out how much is needed. Having had mastitis in the past, I get nervous at that engorgement, but I think it has settled for me now (almost 4 weeks).
I'll go now and read properly - well done Elpis on the BF, but my wont is to talk first. I'll read later.
Taking said toddler for haircut!!
Badgerina my bean was 11 days early, Sept 24 from Oct 5 - lets all visit here, when we can.
Hey! Can't wait to catch up soon. Still in hospital, things still bit mad. Bean baby is wonderfully perfect, I am however not. Thank heavens and lord for medical staff!! Internet connection v poor and so want to hear how u all are. Over and out, hope everyone good. And yes, day 3 and my boobs are feckin hot 'n hard!!!! But at Least I've got midwives on tap!!!
Lizzie good to know you only had exploding boob syndrome for a couple of days lol Acupuncture was for post-CS pain and it REALLY helped - would recommend it wholeheartedly. I had 2 sessions in 6 days and it just accelerated the healing. Also got some
totally disgusting Chinese herbs - not sure what they did tbh! Maybe they helped too Sympathy on Moses basket thing - I did read something about warming basket with a hot water bottle, removing it and then putting bean down on a toasty mattress (just check not too hot). Might be worth a try? And if that fails - swaddling is magic for us!
Beeble congrats on your wee one and ouch on the stitches - big sympathy! Hope you are feeling okay
Orange thanks for encouragement and the pumping tip. I tried hand pumping left boob today twice as was engorged on that side only. Took about a minute to get an oz off and felt much better!
Badgerina welcome and congrats on your chilled out bean - hope he stays that way! It sucks when the DHs go back to work doesn't it Wish they had longer but at least you are a second timer and know what you are doing. Good luck next week!
Hey lisbeth - hope all is well with you, Paul and family Good to 'see' you
huffle glad bean is well and hope you are okay! Not sure what you are dealing with but am thinking of you On the hot boobs - I know Squid found the cabbage leaves good.
CWest are you out there? Hope everything is going well for you and your new arrival x
Squid and Planktonette hope you aren't missing your mums too much
Out for lunch today, had to pump some milk off my massive left boob first. Last fed from it 9.30pm last night, bean had v long sleep, then fed off right, then another long sleep so realised it was 10 hours between left boob feeds. Woke up with cannon ball boob and nightie, bra, sheet SOAKED with milk Haven't used the Medela pump yet, going to wash it all tonight as I've got engorged ON for the last 2 Sat nights and I want to be ready this week!
Bean has slept and fed beautifully all day and was good as gold for visitors this morning - so gearing up for the night of hell.....!!!
Crikey I must admit I'm struggling to keep up. Badgerina hello and very welcome, congratulations on your baby! Beeblebear hooray, congrats and welcome to the other side! Really hope your stitches heal quickly and well. I had a very long 2nd degree tear last time and it was really no fun - hope you have a better experience.
angelico how long was your sleep last night? We had a grim one last night, DS2 basically awake from 2.30-6.30am, and DS1 who's a bit under the weather atm was up when DS2 was asleep. Total zombie today.
huffle hope you're ok? Sending healing vibes your way. Glad your baby's doing well!
Hi lisbeth! Remind me how old your toddler is? How's he/she coping with the new baby?
Hugs to those feeling abandoned by mothers!
Elpis missed you on the news, but wow, cool!
Had a lovely day today. Went for a walk en famille with DS2 in the moby successfully for once. DS1 was as pleased as punch to have us all out and insisted on holding my hand to cross roads rather than DH's <wipes tears of joy from eyes> It was lovely DS1 then went swimming with DH (one of his favourite things in the world) while I saw an old friend, and then we went into town and gave the double buggy its inaugural run. Felt like I was pushing a bus but manoeuvred well at least. Having 2 kids in a buggy is full on, was terrified of getting too close to the road - the responsibility!
Now just waiting for both boys to fall asleep so we can go to bed. Yes, it's not even 8 but my god I'm dead on my arse.
beeble - congratulations and OH MY GOD. I was 5h15 mins, about 2.5 hours from 2 cm dilated to 10, but your speed (and, I assume, intensity!) put me to shame. Welcome to the other side!
Hi everyone! Can I join as well? I had my DD1 on Thursday evening so she's just 2 days old.
She's so gorgeous - feeding well, although my nipples are very very sore already and my milk hasn't come in yet so I'm worried about that. Really really want to breast feed so am determined to go through the pain. Just a bit down heartened because in the hospital the midwives kept telling me that if you're doing it right then it won't hurt but I'm sorry my nipples have never been subjected to Such vigorous sucking before so they're bound to be sore aren't they?
Also don't know if it's just me but I've becomeabit obsessed about my birth story - I want to tell everyone about it whichisn't always appropriate - PIL coming tomorrow!! It was really positive I think - I managed on TENs at home then in the pool and just some gas and air at the end when I pushed. It's just it was such a strange experience - I knew it was going to be hard work but I found it so exhausting, my whole body is still aching - I even have a bruise on my nose where I was pushing the gas and air mask onto my face so hard! Also did anyone else find the pushing out bit very surreal - I can't quite understand how it all worked and the feeling of doing it! I guess I just need to process the whole experience!
Sorry to splurge - have just fed and now holding sleeping baby, I've got a few hours to go before I hand over to DH - she refuses to be put down so currently sharing the holding baby duties at night!
Hope everyone else is having a good night.
olivess. I'm so with you on the labour and especially the pushing bit. I found it amazing. When you watch labours on tv and they say 'I need to push'. For me, it wasn't that I needed to, my body was just pushing. I couldn't control it. What I could do, was push more on top of it. But the pushing was just automatic. Amazing!
Supposedly DH on duty tonight and just bringing bean for feeds, then taking her back upstairs to sleep. So why are they both lying sleeping in the guest room (where I was sleeping) while I sit here waiting to see if she's settled?
And the real question... when it's supposedly 'my turn' tonight do I let him sleep or let him see what it's like when you think you're going to get a night to sleep and then don't...???
Crazy know I sound like some kind of evangelist but have you tried swaddling? When we don't swaddle
or when DH does a shit attempt at it because he can't be arsed learning how to do it properly bean will sleep for about 2-3 hours. When she is swaddled well she will do anything from 3-5 hours. Really is worth a try. We got the Miracle Blanket which is okay but to be honest although more hassle I find a big Muslin swaddle gets a tighter job and thus a longer sleep... Weegoamigo ones are my brand of choice and then swaddle the Harvey Karp way (posted a blog link showing it up thread). Hope you are getting a better night tonight
All sounds quiet on the western front... back to bed I think! x
And Olive it will feel a bit tender the first few days so don't worry. I found the MWs will talk any old bollocks in their desperation to get people to BF, then wonder why so many people give it up within a few weeks. Frankly they'd be better being honest and saying, "Once it's established it won't hurt MOST of the time unless beans are not latched properly but sometimes it will still smart no matter what you do because of let down / engorgement / the fact that an infant is voraciously sucking your tender nipples at least 6 or 7 times a day..."
Thanks Angelico....the midwife visited this morning and reassured me that DD was latching on properly and that it often will hurt at the start. She also said that some people's nipples are particularly sensitive especially if they aren't normally pointy-outy nipples as they are being sucked out of their normal shape if you see what I mean!
Yay, I can finally join you! Alice Jessica born 6pm last night weighing a very healthy 9lbs! More detail on ante-natal thread but need to process birth story myself before I share it, it's all a bit of a blur at the moment.
Yay Yomping many congrats
Nice afternoon out, had lunch then planned to go for walk only a) Bean started waking up wanting fed and b) we couldn't figure out how to attach the car seat to the buggy base Home now and feeding time at the zoo so more later...
Hooray yomping!! Huge congrats and welcome to Alice! Well done you.
We've had a day where DS2 has screamed since 11am with less than an hour's sleep. Looks like we're being hit resoundingly with the colic stick again; if so, you may not see me here for a while
Congrats yomping! That's really good news. Will write more later but currently stuck in middle of early evening feeding frenzy/toddler bathtime saga.
Bang bang lizzie. Consider yourself 'whacked'
Just spent half an hour cuddling colicky daughter while she squeezed out a poo. The glamour that is my life just keeps on amazing me...
Gosh I've got a lot of reading/catching up to do!
My news: BabyFjord is now more or less completely off formula, feeding better and has had 2 days free from colic (was it the formula??). My syntocin nasal spray is working a treat (although making my nose itch so much that I'm always caught by DP looking as if I'm picking it!). We actually had a 'fairly relaxed' day today which is a leap forward.
Thank you for worrying about me squid. I'm ok. Finding ways and getting used to each other now. I still have her on me so much that getting on the computer is nigh on impossible (and typing MN-length messages with one, often left hand is super difficult let alone reading it all that small without going cross-eyed or falling asleep!). On the upside, I got about 5.5 hours sleep altogether last night (in dribs and drabs) so I was headacheless today for the 1st time in days! .
DP's not working tomorrow so hopefully that will 'buy' me the chance to sit down at the computer and catch up with this thread (although sadly LO is still not accepting Pappa as a replacement for Mamma and is rather boob fixated - she likes to sleep with one hand and cheek on it even when not feeding ). Still have that birth story to tell...
Morning everyone! Pleeeeeeeease can I join now????
Firstly, massive congrats to Yomping, Beeble & October & well done to you all!!
Just a quick note to let you know that Baby Loopy has arrived!!! I had a little boy yesterday, 1 week early & delivered via emergency c-section - long story, definitely not in the birth plan !! Weight is 6lbs, 10oz.
Will write a longer message in the next few days, update f/b & catch up with everyone else too
to pick your expert Mummy brains [in hospital for a few days now] but he is just gorgeous & scrummy!!
Loopyla & my little prince, lying next to me
Struggling a bit in the squid household. Have been feeling very low, feeling it creeping up, then get panicky about feeling low because I've had a couple of bad bouts of depression before and the things I do to counter it are not really available to me right now (being very busy, lots of activity/exercise). I feel really... detached from my baby like I didn't really give birth to her. Sometimes I feel like I don't love her. Then I cry a lot. I wanted this baby so much... have been counting down all year to this. Boyfriend is a bit worried though he thinks it will pass. My mum thinks I am not so bad when I am less tired and thinks I will be ok. I am trying.
Then, not great timing, last couple of days Jess has gone from a fairly placid baby (if one who refuses to be put down) into a crazy screaming one. I guess it's colic? Saturday she screamed for nearly 24 hours, from 2am to 9pm, it was awful. Yesterday was not so bad in the day but again screamed inconsolably from 6pm to 10pm. I feel really rattled. I know colic is common and harmless but I keep thinking about months of this when I don't even really feel like I love my baby any more and... I don't know, I am a bit low I think. I hope it will pass. This is my first week alone, I am going to try and use it constructively. It's only been two nights of the screaming but I am absolutely dreading the evenings now. And they were mine and my boyfriend's only time together really --- he takes her in the late evening till about 1,2am (she tends to just sleep on him while he watches tv) and I take her in the early morning when she sometimes kips a bit and other times needs a lot of cuddling/feeding. Daytime he is at work, and if the evenings are now going to be colic I just... I feel a bit despairing. I really miss him.
We have tried loads of things and some stuff helps a bit temporarily - bouncing on the gym ball, rocking and cuddles, swaddling, feeding, putting her in the sling and walking... we bought some "colief" from the chemist but it was very stressful expressing breastmilk while she was screaming, I'd not expressed before. I will try again. Boyfriend took her out at 10pm last night after hours of it and drove around the block for 45 minutes after which she eventually fell asleep. I went to bed when he did but I couldn't sleep because I was upset. Is this really sustainable for months...?
I don't mind being woken up endlessly and I don't mind the feeding and I don't mind holding her all the time... I just want to get that feeling back I had after the birth when I loved her so so much... I don't know where it's gone.
Sorry for such an awful monday morning post. I will try and make it a constructive day.
YOu are all being really supportive and thanks and I will write back personally in a bit.
smileyhappymummy I did go and get a leg wax thank you, that was the one nice thing this weekend!!! had sex with boyfriend yesterday as well which was so lovely it made me cry, I miss him so much. We spent 2.5 hours settling baby before hand and took about 10 minutes! Didn't have full sex in the end because I chickened out, but everything but.
Congratulations to Yomping and Loopyla. Lovely to have you guys here. Hope you are both feeling ok, recovering, being looked after.
It isn't sustainable for months but it honestly does get better. And feeling like this about her now doesn't mean you don't love her or that you won't gt thwt feeling back - you will. When dd1 was about 4 weeks old I seriously wondered whether I'd done the right thing having a baby and thought how nice it would be if I needed to go back into hospital for a wound infection or something so I could have a break from her. She is now the absolute centr of my world.
Please be gentle and kind to yourself. You don't need to aim for a "constructive day" just getting through the day is an achievement - focus on that. Try and fit in something nice each day even if it's tiny, just a little treat. Also, don't feel bad about feeling this way. It's ok. You will get there.
Congratulations to loopy looking forward to hearing more from everyone.
First day for me without dh today - bit nervous..... Have become a bit stupidly paranoid that I'll drop the baby or somehow fail to look after her properly. Need to phone car insurance too and see if they're ok for me to drive post section too - otherwise am v isolated as we live about 3 miles from anywhere with no public transport.
fjord sounds like you are doing amazingly though v hard work.
Wishing you all good Mondays.
squid your situation sounds a lot like mine last time with DS1, and I fear the direction I'm going again this time. It's good you're so aware, I think it's bloody hard to love something that screams non-stop - but keep a close eye and get help sooner rather than later. i wish i had, DS1's 1st year was possibly the worst year of my life because i didn't.
Morning. In need of a bit of reassurance - hoping someone can help - really just want to know if a few things are normal.
So without doing a complete birth story (as it's all a bit confused in my head still), I got to 8cm dilated at home but then midwife spotted meconium in waters and we were ambulanced to hospital. Got to 10cm then it all went a bit off plan... 4 hours of second stage labour with really strong contractions not getting me anywhere as her head was in an awkward position and I was in masses of pain as her head was on a nerve I think, and my back had been agony for 24 hours by that point. I was totally spent, nothing left, all I could do was push as hard as I could (DH said my face was red and my ears went purple and I carried on doing it for 3 hours) then sob . Eventually I begged for pain relief and it took another hour (with more pushing and a syntocinon drip to try to speed up contractions) for that to be sorted. Then I was taken into theatre and given a spinal block (oh my god, the relief) and finally pushed her out with the aid of forceps and an episiotomy, then stitched up.
So I have stitches and 2 "small" piles from all the hours of pushing.
What I want to know is whether, after that, these things seem normal:
- Any kind of movement involving my lower body hurts - walking (I'm slower than a zombie), standing up, sitting down, stairs, turning over in bed, getting in and out of bed - you get the picture!
- Being sat down is very uncomfortable.
- I'm terrified of the toilet. Not the going, but the wiping (TMI, sorry )
- My lady bits feel like a warzone, and the midwife said the swelling would get worse before it gets better.
Is all this normal?
Thank you in advance!
Oh geez, squid and crazy, hope you feel better soon. crazy your advice is good, will try to remember it myself...
1. Yep, my lower bits killed for about four days. TMI: what used to be inside got squeezed outside, making walking damn painful. It goes back in eventually.
2. Do yourself a favour - send DH to the supermarket for 'ansrex moistened toilet wipes'. You won't regret it!
Hello ladies, having a sneaky peek on here to see what to expect for the first few days/weeks.
Fjord yay you sound like you're doing really well, I'm sure it's still hard work though, but well done!
Squid and crazy lots of hugs to you, and anyone else suffering, I'm sorry I don't have any advice having not gone through any of this yet, but I'm thinking of you.
yomping >clueless but helpful face< I had a long chat to Big Sis 2 last night who remembered being told to keep sanitary towels in the freezer so they are more soothing when you wear them. Although do remember to take them out months later when you are vacating your rental house, unlike my darling sis who forgot and got some funny looks from the estate agent doing the inventory
(clarification: it took about a week or so for the outside bits to go back inside, and even then they still hurt and my walking distance is still pretty low.)
- Any kind of movement involving my lower body hurts - walking (I'm slower than a zombie), standing up, sitting down, stairs, turning over in bed, getting in and out of bed - you get the picture!
Yes, very normal - you poor thing. Take paracetamol, hug a hot water bottle, and get your DP to wait on you hand and foot. It will get better, but you need to take it easy
- Being sat down is very uncomfortable.
I'm not surprised. There are several things you can do to soothe your nethers:
Fill a condom with water and freeze it. You can then put it in your knickers
Put some witch hazel on a maternity pad, freeze it and put it in your knickers - bit of a theme developing here
Aloe Vera gel is very soothing and will help with healing, as will a drop or two or lavender oil on a maternity towel
x2 cups of Epsom Salts and x4 drops of lavender oil in a very shallow bath (enough of a puddle to cover your bits when you sit) every other day for 10-15 minutes - pat yourself dry afterwards with a soft towel
- I'm terrified of the toilet. Not the going, but the wiping (TMI, sorry )
You need wet toilet tissue/ baby wipes! You may also want to think about eating dates and prunes to loosen your poo - it'll make things easier
- My lady bits feel like a warzone, and the midwife said the swelling would get worse before it gets better.
Normal. Swelling will go down soon. Promise. Arnica 200c (homeopathy) can help, as will witch hazel
Take it easy, get lots of rest, lots of yummy food, and lots of fluids
Hey peepettes Lots going on here!
Fjord you are an absolute hero persevering with the BFing, so glad it's going well
Loopy congrats on your new arrival!
Squid I'm sorry you're feeling so down Tbh it sounds like you are just totally sleep deprived - my ability to cope waxes and wanes depending on how much sleep I've had and one morning after a bad night I told DH that I hated the bean (then felt wracked with guilt all day ). Friend (mum of two) assured me this is totally normal after a sleepless night. Think you are being wise keeping an eye on yourself if you've had bouts of depression before BUT try not to go to the other extreme and get totally convinced that you have PND - because a lot of what you are feeling sounds quite normal. We found Infacol helped a little but you have to keep slugging it in. If it's any consolation the bean is screaming less in the evenings now when she was wild before - a couple of hours now rather than six hours (she's 4 weeks). With swaddling you need to get the arms straight and a nice tight swaddle, if it's too loose it doesn't seem to help. Also will put in bold detune the radio and let Jess listen to the static nice and loud, preferably when she is swaddled. Harvey Karp book talks about calming reflex and we've found it really useful. Most of all hang in there sweetheart - we're all on a rollercoaster and tbh my mood can change from hour to hour depending on tiredness / pain etc. Take all the help you can get. I miss DH too but friend was here earlier for lunch and she said at 6 weeks she started a proper bedtime routine at 7pm so she could have quality time with DH. Took a couple of months for it to click but her kids (now 8 and 6) still go to bed at 7 She is the one who texted me a week in to say, "It will get better. No one tells you it's all a bit dark and shit the first while but it does get better."
Smiley the driving is a pain isn't it? Another two weeks for me... Did you try the sling? How did you cope with it post-CS?
Yomping sorry you're so sore Friend in work also said witch hazel was her life saver - keep a bottle in fridge, pour it on maternity pad and sit on it for instant relief. All sounds normal after hardcore labour so hang in there
Eeek, radio is retuning self - shit, bring back the static!!!
Yes did try sling and actually felt quite comfy. Think it helps that it's s wrap sling so lots of material wrapped round tummy felt quite supportive. Walking much still makes scar hurt, so does laughing or coughing! We'll get there I hope.
Insurance company said ok to drive when I feel up to it - yay! Think carrying the car seat may be the problem.
Baby smiley seems to have got oral thrush and I think I've got it affecting my nipples too - sore where it wasn't before and a kind of deep down pain rather than on the surface. Have got some nystatin from health visitor but getting her to take it iS easier said than done! Anyone else had this?
Hope you're feeling more comfortable very soon yomping!
Hi-I need to catch up properly and read all these but a quick question. DD2 has been feeding generally for 15 mins today. Foes this mean she's not reaching the 'hind milk' stuff? How do you know if one boob is empty? I mainly bottle fed last time you see so is mostly new to me.
Lizzie Hope I can help.
1. 15 mins is great! There isnt any such thing as 'fore milk' and 'hind milk', it's a very popular myth though. The milk is slightly more watery at first (for a minute only) but the rest is all the same and all good.
DD feeds for an hour at a time! HV said that this should get shorter as she gets more efficient at feeding.
2. Your breasts are never empty. They get full inbetween feeds but the continually produce milk so you never run out. I feed DD on one side until she pulls off herself or falls asleep, then wind her and change her nappy to wake her up a bit, then offer the other side, which she usually accepts and has a shorter feed from.
I bottle fed my first baby too. I tried BF but didn't get the support and info I needed so it didn't work out. I've learned a lot from mumsnet.
Congratulations to all the new mums!!!
We registered the birth this morning so DD now offically exists! Also had her wieghed today and she's gained 5oz this week.
I also had an epic fall out with Mother. She tends to do this when something nice happens to me or at happy points in my life. The worst of it is she decided to act out her misery and jealousy by bullying DS, so was swiftly ejected from my house and told not to come back! The last time this happened she didnt contact me for 2 years. Oh well, at least I can enjoy my babies without the drama now.
hi ladies, snooping once again to see how life is on the other side.
Hugs to yomping who sounds sore, and to squid and crazy, who sound low
I don't want to come across as patronising, and i know i dont know what i am talking about as baby beccus is not even here yet, but hope u guys have a nice midwife/gp/health visitor, or someone u can talk to about how r u feeling.
For what it's worth, i think u guys are superheros! Pre pregnancy, think of how crap u would feel after a long haul flight/staying out clubbing until 6am and then being at work the next week. Think of what u would consider physically greulling - a marathon??
But u guys have endured far, far more than that. You guys have just gone through 40 weeks of growing a litttle person who has taken away lots of your nutrients and energy and added additional waste products your systems have had to deal with, and generally made it harder work for you just to be alive, whilst working in stressful jobs for the majority of that time, and crazy had to look after a toddler, as well. The last few weeks were really uncomfortable, your hormones were all over the shot and you slept terribly poorly.
Then, u had to go through labor, which is the most physically gruelling thing imaginable. Then, straight away, no recovery time, you had to look after a little baby on f@ck all sleep for weeks on end whilst enduring sore nipples and raging hormones. It is relentless!!! You deserve a f@cking medal just for surviving!!
Seriously, what an inefficient process - a woman would have designed it much better - our babies should be bought to us by a stork - a super stork who sticks around to do the feeding, nappy changes, etc.
Smiley's words are wise, it seems like those 1st few weeks are just about surviving!! I plan to just stay in bed and just getting some sleep will be an achievement in itself and managing a shower will be nothing short of a miracle. I am grumpy I am not indian/chinese and will not have a truckload of female relatives coming to be my slaves for 40 days while i stay in bed and learn to get to know my baby and how to breastfeed...and venture out if the urge so takes me.
Fjord, well done on cracking the breast feeding - bad nipple pun intended
Angelico, i hope i find a system that works as well for me as your system does for u and your bean - am in awe of your prolific MN posting and good advice for everyone - no idea how u r finding the time -well done u
Hope to join u soon, will stop invading now and return to the threads where i belong Miss u all xx
Posting from bed as I wonder if I should wake master midge for a feed or not. I suppose I should.
Not had the time to post and doing this from my phone so name checking will be awful.
Yomping congratulations and yes. What you describe sounds normal. Regular ipuprofen helps take some swelling out and I am taking arnica too. My stitches seem a bit Tight now but the pain is passing. Each day it gets better, honest.
Smiley I had thrush with DC1 - very nasty but I seem to remember just putting the cream on my nipples and treating the baby that way. It went fairly quickly if that is any comfort but it was toe curling. I feel your pain.
Squid if I didn't feel like I've been run Over by a truck I would pop up there and give you a good hug. We all do what we can do to get by and all the things you miss will be back soon. Honest it will. I always say god makes newborns smile to stop us putting them in a cupboard. Just as I got to the point where I just thought I can't take this anymore DD smiled at me and it all seemed worth it. Crafty little devils these babies. But I find it really annoying when people say you did well in labour. I wanted to kick the HCP's when they kept saying this to me - I had a fecking awful time but for some reason doing it without painr reliefs got me brownie points. I thought that was weird as for me it just meant it hurt me a lot. nothing good about that is there? Birth is really traumatic for most of us - you need to let it all out and have a good chat about it. But most of all, you need to be gentler on yourself. The hormones are wicked in the first few weeks. Rest and relax and get stronger.
Angelicio where do you find the time for your posting woman? I barely get time to dress myself. Impressive.
Well master midge has jaundice and being weighed constantly which seems such a waste of time as it is always on different scales. And now I am paranoid he isn't getting enough food from me. Have to keep waking him and all a little stressful. Ho hum, this too shall pass. Right best wake him before I pass out myself....
Will catch up from my laptop properly
if I ever get time again
Currently posting from the sofa - baby olive won't be put down at all - she even hated her first trip out in the pram and cried continuously. So DH and I are currently taking it in turns to hold her at night. Hoping this is just a phase (she is only 4 days old!) and we can get her settled in the moses basket at some point! But for now I'm trying not to worry and just enjoy the cuddling.
Oh and to add to the glamour of the moment I'm about to get two savoy cabbage leaves from the fridge to put on my ballooning boobs.
yomping - I was genuinely shocked about how I felt the day after I gave birth, my whole body literally ached from head to toe and i could barely walk out of the hospital and that was after a straightforward birth and only 2 stitches so I've no idea how you must feel. I also found the fact I couldn't feel my pelvic floor at all very strange but it seems to be coming back with a bit of exercise! The aching and pain does ease though - I'm just doing very little and trying to rest my body as much as possible.
Thank you all for your nice messages
Feeling a lot better today. Saw a mate yesterday with a 12 week old baby who said she (my mate) cried every day for a month and then it was fine. She gave me lots of tips on colic too, and made me eat cheese and cake (have missed loads of meals recently). Her baby only had a brief spell of persistent crying, a week or so... so I am more hopeful.
Jess was fretful in the evening but we could soothe her. Then she slept ok overnight, in my arms, only waking up for cuddles or feeds every hour or two. I feel like a new woman with a bit of sleep... And am so relieved even if she cries a lot, it was just two nights in a row of 5 hours+ crying... I was envisioning every single night being like that until January. So even if it happens sometiems, just knowing it's not every night makes it seem manageable.
Spent some time cuddling her with just a nappy on and that helped me feel all lovey towards her again. Her little feet!
Had a (strangely early?) post natal check yesterday and told them I was feeling low, but they just said to come back if I needed to. It felt a bit pointless, the walk up there, trying to keep jess soothed in a hot waiting room while they ran late... I don't really have any physical problems (which I'm grateful for). a bit pointless. And I'm only 3 weeks after birth, I don't know why they asked me to come so early.
Also trying to remember am only 23 days post birth and in some cultures they make you stay in bed for a month and all you do is learn to breast feed. So every day I manage anything else is an achievement. I feel better, anyway.
Oh and I tried expressing this morning (with a manual pump someone has lent me) and I managed 3oz while Jess fed on the other side!! That's a start!! The thought of some longer periods to myself, or of sleep, is very lovely.
3oz is fantastic!
Sounds like a bit of a pointless postnatal check to me. Ah well.
My big achievement today is hooverinthe lounge with baby in sling. The carpet is now pleasingly clean but unfortunately my scar is nw reminding me that this was not the brightest thing to do 19 days post section. I am officially a muppet.
olives baby smiley wouldn't be put down initially at all either but after a week or so she started to be happy being out down sometimes. Still definitely prefers to be held but she will sleep for a couple of hours in her Moses basket now.
smileyhappy mummy thanks honey. Thank you very much. A lot of mums have said the same to me, that they wanted to put a return stamp on the baby! and then they learned to smile and it was all different... I feel a bit better towards jess this morning though.
Hope your day without DH was ok. What did they say about driving?
crazypaving really sorry to hear you had such a hard time of it with last baby Hope it is not so bad with this one. When they start screaming it feels like they will never stop doesn't it... big hugs, take care.
yomping first off, congratulations, and wow, that sounds like a tough birth and a hell of a lot of work. I hope you feel ok about going to the hospital, doesn't sound like baby could have come out any other way! I'm not surprised you feel ruined after 4 hours of pushing. I felt like a car had hit me and it took about a week to feel much but stinging and swelling down below, and I didn't have a logn 2nd stage or the stitches. I had really sore aching arms and shoulders from all the weird positions I was in during labour, spent ages working out why that was...
Things that helped:
lie down when pelvis feels heavy
lavender oil drops on maternity pads
pour water over yourself when you wee (or wee in the bath/shower)
bath as often as you can, I had a bath soak with arnica in, but any of those oils you were collecting would probably be helpful
I found pelvic floor exercises helped, but it was scary that I couldn't feel them for the first few days
rest and eat
angelico thanks hun. You are right, I get very anxious at the first sign of low mood but I think this is just hormones/sleep. Have been dosing baby squid with infacol and she was actually much better last night. The music/white noise/swaddling works sporadically... mostly she likes being bounced on a gym ball (which is a bit tiring). I don't mind doing anything if it means she doesn't scream though!!
Thank you. for the reassurance. I'm sure it will get better. It's just that you count down for so long ot having baby, it's hard not to feel sad it's not as sweet as you hoped. But i do feel better today, and the cuddles are nice.
midgetm thanks honey. yeah people keep saying i'm doing really well and i'm like, but i feel like DEATH. lots of people hsve told me it's all a lot easier once they start interacting
beccus thank you for the cheerleading... really appreciated.
Wise words, beccus. Thank you.
wantan cripes! Mum drama sounds nasty. We cheerleaders from Team Difficult Mother/MIL are on your side with tea and wine waiting, your choice (or maybe half-time oranges? ;) )
'Stop us putting the baby in a cupboard'... LMAO !
yomping like squid said - pour warm water over your bits while weeing. I kept a 20p plastic jug from asda next to the loo for the first two weeks.
(and don't forget the moistened toilet wipes! They're flushable, too, which baby wiped aren't - very highly recommended!
orange hope you're ok - mothers can be miserable business
yomping hope your bits are improving. Last time teh swelling for me was pretty bad and lasted a while, but I didn't use anything to help except a valley cushion which I hired from the local NCT bod. Try any and all suggestions here, seriously. And dose yourself up on paracetamol/ibuprofen to keep all the pain and swelling at bay. Sounds like your birth was pretty full on, props to you for it all. Also, I second the moist Andrex stuff. And the pouring jug. And Germoloid. Fecking haemorrhoids
olivess another unputdownable baby here - but taht just seems to be the way I make 'em. I blame DH's genes natch
smiley ever the voice of wisdom and reason - squid I didn't want to sound overly gloomy and prophetic - hopefully this is just sleep deprivation and not PND. I can totally remember wanting to return DS1 (never want to return DS2, oh no, never....)
Feeling a bit more upbeat today but probably because DH has a day off today. DS2 is sleep refusing and shouting, it's just possible to manage with 2 people here managing 2 full-on children. When it's just me the ratio is just all wrong.
Have a kilo of dairy milk in the cupboard courtesy of a friend...going to get to work on that (one kilo of lard shortly to arrive in general location of hips/arse. Fab).
Can I ask some quick questions about breastfeeding/expressing ? (Am looking hopefully at you elpis and wantanorange!)
I managed to express 3oz today with a manual pump while jess was feeding. This is now in the fridge. I understand it keeps 5days in the fridge and 6 months in the freezer, is that right? If I express more later, can I add it to the same bottle or should I keep it separate? How much will/should a bf baby take for one feed, would 3oz be enough?
I am always having trouble remembering which breast I fed off last and sometimes just go on which breast feels heaviest, does it matter particularly? Equally does it matter which breast I express from, should I do one at a time or both for every attempt, or does it not matter?
Sorry if these are stupid questions. There may be more...
Oh and I usually just feed off one breast until jess has had enough, should she be feeding off both breasts every time? I'm so confused!
Hi Squid I think the only should is up to your baby. If she's falling asleep and unlatching herself from one breast, then you can assume she's had enough. She'll "ask" if she wants the other one straight away. Following what your baby wants, and letting her lead in this way is the best way to make sure she's getting what she needs and your supply develops to suit her
Always happy to weigh in as Expressing Queen... Sorry not to post earlier when you were feeling down, squidkid - was feeling a bit rubbish myself after an MS symptom flared up and I thought, is this a relapse? But it seems to be abating.
I managed to express 3oz today with a manual pump while jess was feeding. This is now in the fridge. I understand it keeps 5days in the fridge and 6 months in the freezer, is that right? Yes. I recommend labelling them with dates. If I express more later, can I add it to the same bottle or should I keep it separate? Better to keep them separate, but you can mix them when you want to use them. How much will/should a bf baby take for one feed, would 3oz be enough? Bit of a 'how long is a piece of string' question at this stage of their development, but 3oz should certainly satisfy her for a couple of hours, if not longer.
I am always having trouble remembering which breast I fed off last and sometimes just go on which breast feels heaviest, does it matter particularly? Not really. That's how I choose which one to go for. Just try to swap a bit so you don't overwork one breast. Equally does it matter which breast I express from, should I do one at a time or both for every attempt, or does it not matter? Doesn't really matter, but in general I'd express from both if I was away from DD at work, and just one if I was stocking the fridge/freezer, so if she wanted milk soon afterwards I'd always have enough.
Not stupid questions at all! One other thing - DD did not take to the bottle at all willingly. It's a different type of sucking. Some babies have no problems, but she wouldn't accept expressed milk until two days before I returned to work and after I left her with our nanny. Various things can help - heating the milk to body temp (not in the microwave - it kills some of the live antibodies etc) and getting someone else to feed her. Medela have a new teat which is supposed to make the baby stroke rather than suck to get the milk, and I'll try that this time. But don't be too downcast or surprised if Jess initially refuses the bottle. She'll come round.
Thanks Elpis and Badgerina! We'll give it a try. Was not initially planning to express so early but breastfeeding has gone surprisingly easily for me (not painful, good supply, jess latches well, can even do it lying down/asleep!) so thought I'd give it a try. If she doesn't like it I can freeze it for another time. My parents are coming this weekend though so it would be awesome if me and boyfriend could go out alone for a few hours!!
Elpis, am glad symptom was just a brief flare - fingers crossed. Crazypaving - glad you are having a better day - you are a hero - I do NOT know how people do this with a toddler though I will probably find out one day! Let alone twins...
I am thinking lots about the girls still on the antenatal thread - I found being (briefly) overdue so stressful, far more so than this newborn bit even though this is harder - the not knowing if/when it would all kick off was horrible - last week of pregnancy seemed to take twice as long as the rest of the pregnancy combined! Will go and give them some hugs....
Just catching up, ladies. wantan thanks for your reply to my question re which breast to feed on etc! Have since had similar questions to those already answered on here ie how much to express (not tried yet but want to know DD2 can take a bottle- might try this weekend when she's more or less two weeks old)
Someone was talking about Moses basket refusal- I followed angelico's advice and put a hot water bottle in to warm it up plus midwife's advice of breast pads, and it worked! She now stays in for up to two hours at a time which is a distinct improvement.
My milk's obviously just come in as my boobs have gone mental! Really hot and hard with frequent tingling feelings!
Right off to watch Jewish mum of the yearns hilarious programme!
Hey peeps just had a quick read through but glad things are looking brighter all round
Had to go to Gp today - pain has been creeping up again and got awful cramps today plus a gush of blood Everything seems fine (just sore ) GP thinks it is BFing making uterus contract which is then hurting the bit that was cut open to get bean out. Ouch.
Parents are here... all quiet so far (And mega sympathy Orange sounds like you drew a line under things rightly!) They are keeping bean overnight for us so finally tested medela pump and it's really good. Squid 3 oz was good going while feeding off other boob! I got 3oz off with pump then tested the special 'Calma' teat they provide (can confirm it is v good Elpis and bean took to it straight away - also Planktonette thank you for warning to assemble correctly to avoid pouring milk everywhere ). On amounts she guzzled the 3 oz but then had a good ten min feed on boob so will prob try and express 4-5oz later on in the hope parents can give her a bottle overnight... wish us luck!
lizzie glad water bottle worked - we haven't actually needed it ourselves so far - but what was the thing about the breast pads?! Is this some MW voodoo for settling beans? If so do share!
Right sleep time here. Any other CS peeps getting cramping or pain coming back just out of interest? Night all x
Well Arthur is just put down in his bassinet for the first time so I had a chance to brush my teeth, load up on pain killers, feed the dogs and Pop on for a quick hollow.
Just wanted you all to know I have been reading and have tried to post but keep getting distracted and inevitably lose it all before getting the chance to hit send. Oh well.
Squid, big hugs! I thought I would bond rig hr away and feel a real strong love but it is taking NH time. I find the more I hold Arthur though the less I want to put him down. I thought he would be in his bassinet from day one and never even considered Co sleeping but that is just the way it is working for yum....topping. Tess all sounds normal. Owie. I had 2ND degree year. Is very sorry. Walking like a grandma. Stitches starting to dry out now despite oils etc now everytime I move it feels like being stabbed in the business with a big needle. A well what van we do..
I'm.. Does anyone know if lochia is supposed to look like grape jelly in my nickers? Thought it would be more period like.... Unknown google here I come?
Better quickly post while I cann .
PS. Holy boobies Batman! And they are leaking everywhere.
Right... auto correct madness in that post. Oh well.
Have survived first full day on my own without DH (in States all week)! Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been perfect. I've shouted at DD a couple of times, let her eat a whole cupcake and a chocolate mouse, and resorted to a long nap with them both because I was getting so cranky. I also tipped a paving stone onto my foot (don't ask). But I did a 3h stint at DD's preschool - parents have to help out every half-term - attended the bake sale afterwards, and fed everyone to their satisfaction.
DS four weeks old today! Still a champion farter, but he can fart all day if the colic stays away. Today we are going to embark on an experiment to see if he can behave himself during my fortnightly acupuncture session. I have no childcare during the day and can't afford a babysitter, but while DD's in preschool there's an opportunity to have a session, if he'll just nap for 40 minutes, and my acupuncturist has agreed to give it a try. Wish me luck.
Angelico The uterine cramps wore off quite fast for me but I know some women get them until much later. (When I had a period while bfing it would make period pain more intense). Do take painkillers! My scar feels very sensitive now. Not as sensitive as the foot the paver dropped on, but as though it needs to be looked after. Some of the nerve endings definitely haven't repaired themselves yet. MW last week said that was normal.
Any other second-timers here have tips for handling two DCs while staying calm? I find I am gentle and loving with newborn at the expense of DD. Putting on music helps to ease things at busy times, but I am just not being consistently patient enough with DD when I have to manage her 24/7. Advice v welcome...
Beeblebear Grape jelly lochia very usual!
Angelico Thanks for recommendation re Medela teat - will order it from Boots' rubbish website soonest.
beeble agree grape jelly fine - lochia does look weirdly quite different to period.
elpis I think you are superwoman! Can't believe you've managed to help out at school as well as everything else. Im not sure I have any great tips for coping well with number 1 as well, i am a grumpy cow to poor dd some of the time. Have been putting aside some "special time" for her each day where she can do whatever she likes with one of us and if I snap at her and shouldn't have saying sorry to her sndvexplaining just because tired. Seems to be sort of working.
angelico hope you're feeling better soon.
First post on here with milk monster flopped out on my shoulder
Feel like I am slowly returning to land of living after birth 6 days ago.
elpis - well done on coping with DD as well, v hard I know, think I'd combust if DP was away so well done you!
Have initially found bf really hard due to immensely sore nipples but hopefully hat is easing now that the milk has come in.
squid well done on the expressing! I can only dream of getting that far in the future!
october nipples will get better - mine cracked so badly the baby was spitting up blood but already they are settling down - I take it you have cream on them after every feed?
Elpis god it's hard keeping both children happy. Sounds like you are doing brilliantly. I am trying to do the same with DD, putting aside time to make sure I still do things with her and I try not to tell her off for things related to the baby. I am not sure I have top tips, just empathy really as I am struggling and DD is really feeling the changes in her little world. I have chatted about this with her, accept a few slip ups but closing down in really bad behaviour when I have to. DD decided to come in to our bed 2 nights running now. Exhausting. My bedroom is like a crèche! I am going to need a bigger bed. 4 is a crowd. I am getting her as involved with the baby as I can, yesterday I let her wash him with me which was stressful but made her feel more involved.
Must nap before school run (gulp)
Hi everyone, hope you don't mind if I join in. DD born 4th October after what the MWs call a 2.5 hour labour and I call a 50 hour one (waters broke on the Monday night, had to be induced but sent away from hospital twice as no bed). So long and wet wait...
Anyway similar ups and downs, really mad couple of days yesterday and day before with constant breastfeeding and no sleep. Tried everything - swaddling, breast pad in the crib (MW also suggested this to us - I think the milky/mummy smell is supposed to help), hot water bottle and white noise (have an app on my android phone called 'relax and sleep' that was free to download and helps sometimes). Anyway must have been a growth spurt as all she wanted was boob.
However last night put her in the crib at about 10 and she slept for 5 hours with no bells or whistles needed. I feel like a new woman and its so nice to know she can do it. May even manage a day without crying today which will please DH.
Everyone keeps telling me it gets easier at 6 weeks as they start smiling and you've got a cat in shells chance of a more sleep so holding onto that, half way there tomorrow!
Incidentally is anyone else having night sweats? Am waking up drenched but guessing this is hormonal and will pass?
Right going to get a shower while she's still asleep (yay)
midgetm OMG at the state of your nipps! I am ladling on the lansinoh as we speak.
beeble lochia not what I was expecting either, particularly in the way it seems to 'gush' sometimes, or is that just me?
Welcome Wooly yes I am also a sweaty Betty. Guess its part of getting rid of the extra fluids but I feel like I am having the menopause. It's gross.
Thanks for the sympathy re Mother. We've been here before, but I give up now!
Glad to help out with BF. I have a question too. DD will not accept a bottle of expressed milk and I really need to get back to college. What do I do?!
Have you tried cup feeding wantan some babies don't mind that. It can be messy and time consuming. You can also use a syringe thing (obviously no needle...). Have you tried someone else giving it to her? I they can smell you they are less likely to take it I think.
Hi wooly, birthday buddy - welcome and congrts!! My mw was also slightly inventive with length of labour but not that bad - 50 hrs!!! I have a friend who was never officially in labour according to NICE guidelines but somehow has a baby boy And yes, I wake up regularly in a pool of my own sweat. Lovely. Think it's something to do with pg water retention or summat.
woody woodpecker has woken and his head is bouncing vigorously off my chest so bertter dash
She's just had on ounce from a bottle! Was bound to happen after I posted asking for help.
Does this mean I have no excuse not to go to my lecture tomorrow morning?
woody woodpecker has woken lmao!
wantan you are a legend if you go to a lecture but the normality of it sounds rather exotic as I lay around in yoga pants with my baps out smothered in lanolin
PMSL at image of Midget - graphic but hilarious
And seriously any of you with two kids are just utterly heroic. How are you doing it?!
Thanks for sympathy / info Elpis and Smiley - fellow CS survivors. Elpis won't even ask what you were doing with a paving stone, I can barely lift the baby!!! lol Hope your foot makes a swift recovery! Orange glad your bean took the bottle, can recommend those medela bottles with calma teat - designed for BFing babies. They are expensive though - one came with the pump. Haven't tried her on ordinary bottle yet.
No massacre in the Angelico household yet... in spite of mum only getting a few hours sleep... I on the other hand managed 5.5 hrs thanks to bottle. Have already expressed 4.5 oz ready for tonight... She is now awake and giving warning squeaks in the next room - ready for more so must dash x
Doing much better last couple of days. Jess has been loads more settled and barely crying. Managed to go to the sling library yesterday (EPIC effort, embarrassingly boy had to pop home to hold her while I dressed) BUT I have an absolute miracle sling that she sleeps in the second I put her in. It's a clip-y one so less hassle than the Moby wrap and (I know this isn't the point) makes me feel less frumpy too... not to mention not too hot. She settled so well in the sling I managed to take her to bed for a 2 hour nap in the afternoon, so nice. And her tetchiest time is 5-9pm and yesterday she just slept the entire time in the sling whilst I did normal things like TALK TO BOYFRIEND and COOK SOME SQUID FOR DINNER. And we ate it, in peace. And I can kiss her little head. I nearly cried it was so lovely. I might have to buy myself one of these... it is expensive mind.
Expressed another 4oz this morning so have 7oz in the fridge now waiting to give me a break or some sleep... oh the thought is so lovely. Getting on ok with the manual pump though I do seem to dribble milk everywhere (which is frustrating when it comes out drop by drop!) But I could probably manage 3oz a day.
Also went to the market this morning which made me feel normal again. Bought proper food, bantered with old men fishmongers who all want to coo over the baby. I love this sling! Carrying her in it is much easier than being heavily pregnant frankly and not much different to an extra bag of shopping.
Still feel itchy in my skin and want start exercising again... give it a week eh squid. I am doing some "pre-natal exercises", just for 15 minutes before boyfriend goes to work, it's very gentle but it just feels good to feel muscles again. We might go swimming tomorrow after boyfriend is home from work? Boyfriend says he and Jess can watch me do a few laps. Am I ok to swim yet? Wore my pre-preg jeans to the market today, they were tight but I can get them on. I am being far too impatient and everyone tells me things begin to get easier with babies around 6 weeks ... Jess is only 3.5 weeks... I am being very impatient. But anyway.
My parents and boy's mum have bought us a pricey pushchair, a small one which is very suitable for a flat, so that gives me another option for getting around. We are very spoiled here...
I will be ok, I am just not a tv/sofa person (though I totally was when I was younger, might have been better at this then, though possibly smoking lots of drugs not good for baby) ... once I can get out easily and normally I think I will be fine and me and Jess will have the maternity year of our lives.
Right , now for strawberries and coffee and catch up!!
Angelico so sorry you're still in pain... It may be different after the CS, I had afterpains when breastfeeding but only for a few days, they were really quite unpleasant (I kept thinking they were contractions starting again and nearly crying at the thought!!) Are you still taking painkillers? I took paracetamol and ibuprofen religiously for a week.
I know your mum is less than well behaved, but I am still very jealous of people taking your bean overnight (except for feeds.) Boyfriend does that for me till about midnight, but I have her from then... she tends to feed about every hour from 2 till 7 anyway. But I do have parents coming this weekend and have some expressed milk now so maybe they would... -dreams of it-
Beeblebear lovely to have you here! Yeah that sounds like lochia, I really hated the smell by the end of it, really different to period blood. You sound like another one with a velcro baby (love that term) then! I can recommend a sling... or possibly lots of parents...
Laughed at the autocorrections. Hasn't the typing gone downhill, all of us with a babe on the other arm...
elpis in awe of your activity... a baby, a toddler AND helping out at a school.. that is epic. Hope you get your acupuncture. I got a leg/bikini wax last weekend and it was wonderful, like being human again!
Jess has been farting constantly for the last 2 days too and me and boyfriend crack up every time. Like you say, if it's keeping the colic at bay it's very welcome...!
Woolybob welcome!Everyone keeps telling me "6 weeks" too like it's a magic number... Agree the occasional burst of 3 or 4 hours sleep is incredible...
Laughing loads at woody woodpecker and midget's baps and yoga pants. Anyone who lives on the other side of the river can give themself a right eyeful of me feeding and expressing simultaneously, sexxxxy
squid are you using an Ergo or something else? DS2 has started to go in the Moby ok but the material and faff does my nut. He's usually lying there yodelling like an angry old man while I tie myself in knots with all the fabric...have been tempted by ergo but think DH will have an aneurysm if I buy one...
It's a Beco Butterfly 2 - looks v similar to an Ergo.
Oooh yes I'm tempted by ergo too but dh wouldn't be impressed at all - would point out that last time I bought about a million (well, 4) slings and that the wrap sling we have works well. Which one are you trying squid? Left to myself I'd also like a bedside cot but again dh is the spoilsport voice of reason and economy.
I've been out with baby smiley on my own today! To a friends for coffee and to baby clinic. And she's gaining weight really well. Worn out now but feeling very proud of myself. Back to sitting on sofa with boobs out, tv on and iPad to hand now....
Dh doing live tv interview (eek!) tomorrow at 7am so I get to do the school run. Bit nervous about this.....
angelico hope the extra sleep is helping. We do expect a lot of ourselves - healing after major abdominal surgery and looking after a newborn is a big challenge.
hi all! Just popping in to read about life on the other side. I am a week overdue and feeling really down. Feel like I am terrified of birth and terrified of facing all the difficulties you are all describing. (i think it is worse second time around as I know exactly what I am in for) but at the same time I am just dying for it all to get started.
I have so enjoyed this last time with DS and all the prep, but being on the edge of this for so long is driving me mad!
Am soooo impressed with you all and how well you are all coping. You are inspirational. I can not believe elpis helping out at school too! Bloody hell woman! Superhero or what?
Love to you all xx
which slings do you already have smiley and what do you think of them? Everyone told me the moby was best for newborns but I didn't get on with it that well. The sling library is awesome in theory but all the slingwearing ladies can be a leetle bit tiring... they are VERY SERIOUS about slings and meet every week to discuss slings
Nice one on going out, it's such a mission isn' it?! and yay for baby smiley putting on weight
squid arf about the sling library, can totally imagine that
Reading reviews of ergos online now...this is so dangerous...
Went for a long walk with DS2 in the moby this morning and now my pelvis and shoulders are killing me. Must've wrapped it wrong or summat, and obviously expecting too much of my stupid pelvis. Stupid pelvis, mutter mutter .
bella can really sympathise with your predicament - enjoying time with DS but wanting the anticipation to be over, already! I was so ready to just get on with trying to figure out life with newborn and toddler. But I must admit I felt a bit weepy this morning as I dropped DS1 off with childminder as (whispers) I'd rather have been dropping off DS2 and spending time with my gorgeous little DS1 who is such a laugh....newborns are so demanding and relentless..... [ashamed mummy emoticon]
elpis can only echo everyone else and just be at how you're doing it all. Can you come and give me lessons please?!
Sorry all, gone a bit halloween emoticon bonkers Just been for DS2's hearing test and one of the only places he sleeps, other than in my arms, is in the carseat, so am enjoying a few blessed moments to myself. Have scoffed some lunch very quickly (at 3pm), hung up some washing, put another load on and tidied up. Feel a bit sick now, unsurprisingly...
Can I just ask what age did you all start expressing? How did it go, have you managed to get babes to take it?
I thought that you weren't supposed to start too early in case they got confused between teat and nipple and I know it is far too early at the moment but it is would be good to think there is a way that I might be able to get someone else to do the occasional feed
We had a Babasling (rubbish for us, don't think it was comfy for baby and certainly not for us), a Bushbaby cocoon (liked this and did use it) another one I've forgotten the name of whic was rubbish and the hugabub which saved our sanity, dd1 napped in this till she was 1. Also had a rucksack type back carrier with a frame which dh used but was just goo big and cumbersome for me (I am only 4 11 though!).
Not started expressing yet, might wait till she's about a month I think this time. Dd1 was about 2 weekd but only cos she wasnt gaining weight so wanted to top up. Then carried on to build up s freezer stocks but be warned ladies dd1 would not drink milk that had been frozen! I cried throwing away 7 litres of painstakingly expressed milk....
Oh and when she was older I had a hippychick hipseat which I loved, made it sooo much easier to carry a bigger child. £5 off this on amazon at the moment if you join their family thing if anyone's interested!
I love slings and have been known to meet and be serious about slings and discussing them in a very geeky way
I love my Moby stretchy wrap, and my Didymos woven wraps
bella big wave to you. It is a bastard waiting - especially like you say when you know how bloody hard it is. Take heart though as number 2 is easier as you know what you are doing. I have managed to do so much more this time already. The challenges are just different - keeping two little ones happy brings its own problems but a bit of patience and a whole lot of love seems to work in the long run
I bloody well hope so anyway, hope things move along soon for all of you left waiting to hold your babies. I did an epic post on the thread and then realised zara pipped me to the post finishing that one off and I lost it all again. I was trying to give my experience if induction - which is not all bad. If I ever did the words time again I will slip back in. I wanted you all to know we are still thinking of you all.
October I thought best to start expressing about 4 weeks. I have had to top master midge up a couple of times as he is jaundice but stopped because he was getting lazy on the breast. Not all babies will do that but they say it is best to establish supply and feeding first. Pumping too soon can also make engorgement worse for some as your body ups production. Again - not everyone but always best to wait if you can. I had to express loads with DD1 and I am pretty sure that is why I got mastitis a lot as it messed too soon with my supply but hey we do what we need to do to get through.
master midge is a bit less jaundice and putting on a tiny bit of weight. Still nowhere near back to his birth weight but give him time and I am sure he will catch up. Been out the house, picked up DD from school who had a nasty fall as I was putting The baby in the car. DD told me I should have just been doing one thing at a time and it wouldn't happen between howling in pain. oh the guilt of being a new mum and how it affects your other kids. Poor little thing really hurt herself and I felt awful. Managed to put makeup on today - may have to do it every day as i looked human. This is progress from looking like Casper the friendly ghost.
Best go do something productive with my spare time....like feed the baby or rub my nipples with gunk.
Day 4 and feeling like everything feels so hard, this parenting malarkey is such a roller coaster! Baby Loopy is finding hard to settle in cot, preferring to sleep on DHs very cosy chest instead - any tips?
The other issue is that now we're home, he doesn't want to latch. Cue 13 hours of no feeding & slightly dehydrated/jaundiced baby Had to do an emergency run for formula this morning which he's taken to but I'm concerned going back to breast will be all the more tougher. Got a BF counsellor popping over tomorrow.
I'm trying to be kinder to myself but just want to find a dark corner to cry in...
Hi loopy it will get easier!
No easy answers on getting baby to settle in cot instead of snuggling on mum or dad but swaddling helped for us.
Glad that he's at least had something and that you're getting some BF support tomorrow. Maybe worth lots of skin to skin time in meantime - might help snd I find it makes me feel better when it all feels too much.
Keep trying to be kind to yourself, remember to eat and drink plenty too.
Big hugs xxx
LoopyLa don't feel too disheartened by resorting to emergency formula, you are doing what you need to for your baby if he is getting dehydrAted.
We have resorted to a top up of formula every night (currently 6 days) to get us through and it doesn't seem to have affected DS breastfeeding now that the milk has come in. Also, I found the stage you're currently at 4 days the toughest but it has got easier - don't lose heart.
ah loopy you poor thing. Everyone feels as you do at some points don't worry. Tomorrow is another day and with some help and guidance hopefully you will be able to sort the bf issues out. These first few days are completely mental but you will get through it. Massve hugs to you.
Thanks so much for taking the time to respond crazy and midget, your words are very comforting, and I can well imagine feeling as you do crazy. My mum took DS to her house this arvo to give me a minutes peace (i ended up changing the beds, cleaning the bathroom etc etc- doh!) and i felt v. Jealous of all the fun they had been having making jam and making an autumn picture out of leaves. I think i have forgotten the good bits of having a wee baby and can only remember the exhaustion!
I wonder if there is a sling library in Newcastle? I never got the hang of our one, so should maybe look around. My amazing friend cut my boy's hair yesterday then played with her toddler with a newborn sleeping in her sling. I was so impressed!
Also meant to say dd1 had formula top ups for a few weeks when she was about 3 weeks old, then breastfeed till she was 15 months. So doesn't have to cause BF probs. though I also don't think there's anything wrong with formula feeding - its all about what's best for each mum and baby.
Loopy I agree with October - day 4 was my lowest day. Although I breasted for over a year with DD I had forgotten how sore it is at first - nipples took a hammering plus all the worries of jaundice and loosing a lot of weight. It has got easier every day - honest! Day four is a mo fo x
>jazz hands< baby Frederick arrived yesterday about 9pm!
It was, as predicted, a fairly highly medicalised French style labour but you know what? It was totally fine and I was very well looked after. Bit sore now though but have a few days here in the clinic. He's fed well straight away and has been asleep ever since... Wondering whether to wake him for another feed or make the most of the quiet time He is so gorgeous I just secretly want another cuddle.
smorgs Congratulations! Great name. Make the most of being looked after and opportunity for sleep and cuddles! A French friend of mine now in her seventies was told not to pick up one of her babies when they cried in the hospital 'because she will become dependent on you' - and wasn't allowed to have her other children visit in case they spread infection. So sad.
crazypaving 'Lying there yodelling like an angry old man' - yes, that's my boy too...
DS has been guzzling all night, and it's nearly time for preschool run, which sandwiches his hearing test - this involves shuttling between three different postcodes in same borough. My phantom weak knee is going to be better today. It is. On bright side, looks like DH will just escape another hurricane in the States by the time he returns tomorrow.
smorgs congratulations! Glad it all went well, albeit in a very medicalised way.
I am SO tired this morning, feeding frenzy all night so basically no sleep. And got to do school run for first time with dd. And I've got a cough and my scar hurts every time I cough. Waaah!
Congratulations Smorgs and welcome Frederick. Enjoy the rest and the cuddles. I was so anxious to get out of hospital with This baby and in hindsight I was crazy as it was a great place to just focus on me and the baby and snuggling and cuddling (and a bit of liquid morphine helped me sleep ),
Smiley good luck with school run - I did similar yesterday and had to take to my bed so hope you are made of sterner stuff than me!
Just catching up again- loopy it does get easier. DD2 wouldn't sleep in her Moses basket for a week, but with the help of a hot water bottle to warm it up, and even though it sounds disgusting, used breast pads in there so it smells of me and my milk, she now has a good 2-3 hour stretch in the evening and another at some point in the night. Otherwise yes she still sleeps on or next to me or DH.
It is hard- I haven't properly looked after DD1 and DD2 on my own yet and keep thinking "how on earth do I get us all ready and out of the house?!".
But then u keep reminding myself that every new major life event takes about 6 weeks to 'bed in'. With DD1 I remember thinking after 6 weeks that I suddenly felt really confident. DD1 had fallen into a pattern of her own, which made it easier for me to anticipate her needs.
One thing I should mention is that with DD1 we had cranial osteopathy on recommendation. Details here www.cranial.org.uk/page3.html.
Now it's one of those where we wouldn't have a clue how DD1 would have been had she not had the cranial, but I joined an NCT group at the time, and out of 8 of us it was often remarked that she was the most settled baby. Other things he told us eg she would be an early talker, have a good immune system, have also proved true (she's had one tummy bug in two years and hardly ever gets colds, and if she does they don't bother her much).
So we're having it for DD2 tomorrow-shall report back!
Another article. Sorry it's in the Daily Fail, but actually a decent enough article.
smiley I have an Ergo and its fab! I love it. DH has found he's a bit of a lady magnet if he wears it too!
Loopy day 4 is the worst bit. Take it easy today. Eat lots of cake.
smorgs congratulations! Frederick is an awsome name .
Baby Orange is very unsettled this morning so we off out for a walk. She's crying real tears!
Can I join? Me and baby Spice left hosp last night and she's a wek old today. I know some of you from the 'Last two weeks of pregnancy' thread - how are we all getting on?
sorry, just read through and not quick at all question I hope some of you will know ther answer to.
I haven't been able to express or bf since leaving hosp yesterday pm (new pump rubbish and baby Spice has forgotton how to bf after getting it expresed into a bottle)
My milk has been literally pouring out of me all night and my boobs kill.
My hired Medela Symphony pump is coming at some point today (totally brilliant btw) please, please tell me my milk wont have dried up?!
I'll feel absolutely terrible, had to give her formula last night and now feel like a rubbish mum! TIA
Also, did anyone else have a total meltdown on the dreaded day 3? I didn't believe it really but I did. Sobbing on a MW about not being able to go home.
Congrats Smorgs and a big hug for Smiley on general heroics in face of adversity! <Waves at Spice too>
Proper check in later... but just to say parents left and no blood was shed AND I got 2 nights of 6.5 hrs sleep Hopefully harmony is restored. And Squid for sure your get your folks to take bean overnight BUT make sure you feed on both sides before bed or if you're a one-side feeder like me feed on one side and express on the other around midnight - I fed bean at 11.15 last night on left, then woke at 06.40 with right boob EXPLODING because it had been ten hours since bean fed on that side. Whereas night before I fed on one side and expressed her bottle from other and boobs were grand. Would have managed a staggering 8 hours of sleep had it not been for cannon ball boob
Ok people confess... how many of you have a Halloween costume for the beans?
Not that I got one or anything, oh no sirree...
Congrats Spice, don't know about milk drying up but doubt it's that fast - good luck with the pump. I know what you feel about giving formula making you feel terrible but it's far too easy to be hard on yourself in these situations, you did exactly the right thing, you can't let her go hungry or get dehydrated. Yes to the day 3 meltdown, then had teary o'clock at about 4pm every day but ok for 3 days now. My worst day was DH's first back at work, paternity leave is not long enough but he has 3 days off next week - yay!
DH bought DD a 'mummy's little pumpkin' t shirt which is very unlike him but he may just be pre-empting me dressing her up as a bat.
DD is 3 weeks today so half way to the 'magic' 6 week mark (may have built this up a bit in my head...) Just have to keep looking in the mirror and repeating "it's only a short time" mantra like to myself x
Angelico - feel your pain. My boobs look like I've had a bad boob job, they're sticking off my chest like melons. DH likes them though! I NEED MY COURIER PUMP NOW! Just been squeezing boobs into sink, nice.
As for Halloween outfits, it's got to be done hasn't it? These are October babies after all 'Woooooooooooo!'
ghost noise apparently
Wooly, where is T Shirt from?
angelico- impressed with how much sleep you're getting! Wow! What steps did you take to make this happen?!
I've not expressed yet- last time it made my boobs really sore! Maybe I didn't have the right pump.
Quick one for Spice
Welcome to the thread. Can you try hand expressing just to relieve the pressure? I had to top up both my DC's. DC1 was topped up for ages because she was low birth weight and needed building up quickly and was too small to suck for long. I still managed to exclusively bf it just took a while. The most important thing is to get the milk out of you though, to help the supply and stop you feeling like pants. You are doing the right thing for your DC though so please don't beat yourself up.
Nice to have you spice hope the pump has arrived and you are more comfortable!
I have a cat outfit for both dds, they are adorable! Bought from sainsburys. Will take photos at Halloween!
angelico Yay for sleep - makes everything easier to cope with.
I've just bought a 2nd hand ergo on ebay
DH is going to kill me
Really hope it makes things easier......
Day 6. Nipples still super Owie during latch. Nipple ends a little blistered but otherwise still soft and supple.
Dh currently in bed snuggling ds.I am pouring a bath so I can drain some of this milk into the nice warm water.
Have a skeleton costume for the little one and a pumpkin obedient. Dh also bought two "snow suits" that are a monster and a dragon that are quite big. Will be wearing them all winter.
Right bath done ttfn
Spice - t shirt was from Tesco x
I've just realised I've been wearing my shirt inside out all day. Christ. DS absolutely voracious. Hearing test stressful as he was writhing and panting so much the audiologist couldn't get a reading, so she had to stick all sorts of pads and things on him. We eventually got the all clear.
It hasn't been an enjoyable day health wise but I did walk a mile with DS in the sling in the pouring rain, so I can't be that incapacitated. Thank God DH back tomorrow (though working all day as soon as he's off plane, obvs). Am just about at limit. Sorry, girls.
Thanks crazypaving. Apologies for that extended whinge. Given the bf is going fine, DS is healthy and the nights aren't too awful, I haven't got so very much to complain about!
Hello spice, hope the pump has arrived and helped.
I spoke to the mw today and she said I could start expressing from now, 1 week in, but seems a bit soon to me? I'm wary of disrupting my supply in any way.
We have been giving DS a small amt of formula each night but might stop that now that milk seems a bit more plentiful.
Went out with DS on our own for the first time today just a walk around the village but felt like quite an achievement.
Hey everyone. It's been a while since I posted, but I'm here catching up every night during the feeds.
All is going well here, DS is now 3.5 weeks. We've had a busy few days visiting friends and family. We moved to Cornwall at 15 weeks but are back in Gloucester this week. I got all emotional driving through Cheltenham on Tuesday, thinking about how happy I was to be 'Home' and how it's just comfortable being here. It's a funny feeling these new hormones. It's not even that I miss it really. I love where we moved to and have settled right in and made friends. But there is just something lovely and familiar about being home.
Bf is going well for me. Gonna have a go at expressing over the weekend. I think DS will cope well with boob and bottle. We introduced a dummy at 10 days and that hasn't caused any problems with latching.
We are still having problems getting him to sleep for long in his crib though, we doing a few hours in there, then a few in the bed. It's getting better though. I properly swaddled him last night and earlier tonight and that seemed to work. He's currently asleep on me, but once I've finished this post I'm gonna attemp to put him down in the crib.
I bought a Mothercare own brand carrier this week although haven't had z play yet. Also got given a Babasling, but need to look online at instructions for it. Hopefully they'll allow me to get up and about at home. Monday when my DP went back to work, DS grizzled everytime I put him down, I managed to shower but then took over an hour to actually get dried and dressed as he got himself in such a state when I was in the shower, that I wanted to settle him as soon as I got out.
When we get back to Cornwall on Saturday there's a Halloween party in the village that I want to go to. Well, it would be wrong to turn up not in costume, so we've bought a black babygrow that's covered in pumpkins from Asda - it's great! Gonna put him in it on Wednesday too then go to baby group. I'm so excited! I'll post a picture next week.
Sorry for the 'all about me' post. I do find it very hard to remember and reply properly to everyone from my phone. I keep thinking I'll post properly from my laptop, but haven't managed to turn it on in over a week now.
Right, lets see if he's out enough to be moved to his crib without waking and wanting to come straight back out again.
I have a dilema. I need to go food shopping this morning. I don't have a car and the bus route only goes half way there. I will be getting a taxi back with all the shopping so will need the car seat, however can't take travel system as can't push that and the trolley so had planned to take DD in sling and walk there. But then I won't have the car seat, unless I carry it all the way.
This seems so overwhelming on no sleep. I need a grown up to tell me how to do the very simple thing of going to Asda!
We had another go with the bottle yesturday. DD take half an oz (with DH feeding her) then got really upset. I offered her breast to calm her down and in her temper she wouldn't take that either. Do you think she was upset by the bottle or do you think something else was up and that's why she refused both? I'm panicking a bit that she wont accept it ever and I'll have to drop out of Uni and fail everything
October If you're expressing as well as feeding (to stock up freezer) then your supply will go up. I am rocking the Jordan look again this morning. If you are replacing a feed with expressing it should stay the same, or go down a little bit (baby is more efficient than pump). I was told not to introduce bottles until 4 weeks to baby though. We have introduced them at 3.5 weeks and the little dear won't drink from it!
I will definately be dressing DD up for Halloween! Preferably something that co-ordinates with DS, and take many photos for future bribing/embarassement.
Can you take travel system and bike lock and then chain it up outside supermarket so you can push trolley? Ummmm not s great solution but not. Sure I can think of anything else!
Have you tried cup feeding her at all? I'm sure she will take it in the end!
october I was told 6 weeks for expressing to make sure bf established.... Not in a hurry to get the pump out again anyway!
Looking forward to seeing lots of cute Halloween pics next week!
mikyah that's comforting about introducing the dummy at 10 days. I was just thinking this morning how DD2 won't settle in her crib, only next to me in bed where there's a nipple in sight! I was wondering if now's the time to try one. I think it was around 2 weeks with DD1.
Wantan- get your shopping delivered! Much easier. Otherwise I used to take the pram and stuff as much as possible in the basket underneath. You can't do a big shop that way though.
As I speak, Imogen has gone to sleep on my nipple. Bet she wakes up if I put her in basket.
Foggy haze of mad sleep deprivation - had a crap couple of nights. DS2 spends most of the day screaming too....arrrgh
I must say I've not heard of the magic 6 week mark. For us with DS1 6 weeks was when the screaming and sleeping were at their worst. 8 weeks was when we saw an improvement. Maybe this time 6 will be the lucky number?
DS1 seems to be starting to accept DS2 a bit more now, and is being quite kind and trying to include him a bit. Tried to feed him a bit of a raspberry yesterday which was very sweet but also Not sure DS2 is ready to wean yet eh.
wantanorange no suggestions I'm afraid, what a pickle! I second getting shopping delivered!
DS2 will not take a dummy. Gags and spits it out with a look of absolute revulsion on his face. Sigh. Will persevere.
miky DS2 will only sleep on me in the day, and in my bed at night. tis rather wearing but DS1 was exactly the same and it doesn't last forever (just feelsl ike it does). i lived in Cheltenham many years ago - haven't been back for over a decade! It's lovely there though isn't it. Cornwall must be fab though!
Elpis hardly an extended whinge!! And after all, that's what we're here for (isn't it? It is, isn't it?!)
My tummy's rumbling. I managed to wrangle screaming DS2 yesterday whilst simultaneously stuffing a toasted pitta with avocado, chicken and mayonnaise, then stuffing it in my gob Might have slightly extended his screaming time, mind. Sometimes the call of the tummy is just too damn loud.
Wantan I don't know how much shopping you usually do but I can fit a weekly shop in my big, blue flowery granny trolley. I put DS in the sling and use the bus, and lug the shopping home in the trolley.
Or I order online
crazy that's good about your DS1. My DD1 is still very wary, but then it's only 10 days in...
I usually order online, just didn't get round to it this week before we ran out of food! I got FIL to take me, but I don't like relying on people so will have to figure out a way.
WantAnOrange As far as I know you don't need a car seat in a taxi, only in a private car. We've been operating on that basis for three and a half years, anyway! And thank God, or there are lots of places I couldn't go, as I don't drive!
Here's the law on car seats: http://www.theaa.com/motoring_advice/child_safety/seatbelts.html
Hello peeps! I am finally coming up for air!! Feel withdrawal symptoms to my lovely MN buddies who can surely be the best friends a girl cud hav at the mo as we all going thru the same. My days r rushing by in a haze of dirty nappies and sore nipples and I cannot believe I hav no time to read at ALL, not even skim, just nothing!!!! I hav recovered q well from birth but cannot remember if I hav told u anything thus explaining my absence?! Little time to post so I will not do birth story now!! Long story short, massive blood loss at delivery and on post delivery repair equalled need for blood transfusion and bloods still low. So energy levels rubbish, hospital for 5 days. Mega good feeding large hungry baby equals hard work but so pleased I an BF and all midwives praising ability to feed despite weakness!!!!! But feck me, the nipples are wrecked. The latch is textbook perfect apparently, he just could suck tiles off the walls!!!!
So I hope to catch u all properly sometime soon. Bubba asleep on my knee and DH just brought me lunch.
Hope u all coping and loving and balancing well between tears and smiles!! Xx
wantanorange hope the shopping trip went well, I think I would have held out for a delivery!
huffle your recovery sounds tough, glad you are home now and doing a great job bf. I know what you mean about ruined nipples, hard to believe the suction power of such a tiny mouth.
Managed to get DS to sleep in the Moses basket last night rather than in bed with us, thanks to some good advice on here. Warmed up his nest beforehand with heated pad, popped breast milk stained t shirt of mine in there and warmed up his blankets in our bed beforehand. He settled much more easily so hopefully that will continue to work.
Things are better in the squid house, jess does gripe sometimes but it's only sometimes and we are better at soothing her now (bounce on gym ball, with her in sling, and white noise...!) She is sleeping better overnight mostly. Went from 1am to 7am this morning, fidgety, but only needed sleepy cuddles from me, no feeding or anything. Expressing is going well, I find if I stare at her cute little face or watch films with hot blokes in I can get out 8oz in a sitting - not too shabby! So I have about 24oz in the fridge currently AND my parents coming for two days... am really hoping for my first break away from her, lovley though she is. And maybe some hours in bed with the boy... boyfriend trialled the expressed milk last night and said she took it fine.
Have managed supermarket with car and sling; market walking with sling; registry office and shops and town centre with pushchair (she is so small in it!!)... and I went swimming last night which was just blissful, first bit of proper exercise since birth. Boyfriend took jess in the sling and waved at me from the sidelines. I feel physically normal, just tired and unfit. I am so lucky...
I had to buy her more dinosaur babygrows as she has outgrown the "tiny baby" ones my mum bought for me because nothing fitted. I can't believe she is growing up already...
this thread has moved so fast, -waves- to all the sleep deprived and sore nippled ladies, hope you are all healing and managing to get on top of things. Going to antenatal thread now to wave more pom poms.
Thinking of you crazypaving, the screaming is so so hard to bear. I have a list of things I work through now - feed, nappy, wind, cuddle, put in sling, bounce on gym ball, loud music, sing to her looking her right in the eyes, rinse and repeat... it is so exhausting in the night though. My baby is worse in the evenings and more settled overnight -fidgety and demanding at times but not screaming.
I don't know how you do it with two, you are a hero I hope it eases some soon.
I htink actually 6 weeks is when everything is supposed to be at its worst but that's a very ngative way to put it, I prefer to think of things getting better from 6 weeks onwards!!
Rare fillet steak and a huge glass of malbec
Just want to post my find of the week. My expressing pack came with nipple shells. I didn't really kno what for. My endlessly painful rub against breast pads or bra nipples have been comfy for last hour due to ventilated shells and silicon inserts. I could weep with relief.
On another, just tried to express to relieve some engorgement. Feckin well hurts too
huffle nipple shells? Not heard of them but definitely interested if they help alleviate sore nipples... Presume they are different to the nipple shields that can be used whilst feeding?
Yep October. Bought some nipple shields yesterday, ouch ouch Ouch. No these are Avent breast shells. V bulky under bra but I will try anything!!!!
huffle you poor chick - sending a hug - you sound like you are doing really well! Hope you mend quickly
Crazy hang in there! I have heard this magic 6 week mark too - but have also heard that's when colic tends to peak - so think it's all bollocks and depends on the bean. Some people told me their babies did improve at 6 weeks, but friend on Monday said "Don't listen to people who say that!!!"
October really glad heating thing worked. Where did you get the heated pad? After writing to use heat we haven't tried it ourselves because we can't get a damn hot water bottle - it's all those wheaty bags which don't really transfer heat! We haven't needed it yet but I like to be prepared for the worst!
Wantan wouldn't feel guilty at all getting help to get to supermarket! I haven't managed myself other than once with MIL - and we only live round corner from it And Elpis interesting about the taxis!
Squid glad Jess more settled We found that bean began to settle last Sun night so just before the 4 week mark - hoping the worst of the colicky-ness might have passed, fingers crossed. She still gets windy but it doesn't send her as mental as it did before unless it is really stuck. I've found eating beans / lentils seems to be the main culprit - and sure enough after eating some houmous that set her off again so seems to be pulses generally - which is an arse because I love them
Sorry if I'm missing people out. Am boiling up breast pump stuff, DH taking bean ON. Going to give her a midnight feed and express off other boob to avoid exploding boob syndrome. She has suddenly started going 6-7 hours between night feeds in last few days so if I feed her at midnight she might not even need a bottle till morning... wish us luck! Oh and she was 4 weeks when we introduced bottle / expressing - the Medela Calma one that came with pump - but had planned to do it a few days sooner just never quite got round to it... The days go by in a blur.
Also back taking painkillers again - one diclofenac in the evening Think I totally overdid things last week and feel like I am only starting to heal on the inside, things getting 'tighter' and getting that skin burny feeling on tum where nerves must be growing back. Wish I was numb instead the way other people seem to get after CS Really annoying as it feels like a step backwards, just hoping it won't last too long. It's been 4.5 weeks and I still wouldn't dare lift carseat etc - luckily friends and family are happy to do the driving / lifting so am at least getting out for the odd meal and coffee to stop me losing the plot altogether!
Almost bedtime, here's to well-fed sleepy beans all round ON xo
Hi there ladies, hope you're all doing ok. We've been doing well getting to know each other over the last few days, but the 'day 3' emotions hit last night and after a pretty fractious night I'm feeling weepy this morning. It does get better doesn't it?
smorgs you poor thing, believe me the day 3/4 emotions are the worst and seemed to be a one off for me. I was in tears virtually all day, blamed it on bf being tricky but think it must have been more than that as I was just streaming and felt totally out of control. The next day was lie someone had flicked a switch and I felt much stronger emotionally and physically. Be kind to yourself and know that this will pass.
angelico think the heated pad was just from Boots, one of those wrap style things that is meant for aching muscles and goes in the microwave but dorsn't get nearly as hot as a water bottle.
Smorgs it does get better, I promise. Just kind of... intermittently better at this stage but it does get better Hang in there
Those of you who were on the AN thead will appreciate the irony of this especially Midget - my plans for a full night of sleep were thwarted by the newly christened Mini Angelico Two Poo. Daddy was giving her a nice quiet ON bottle of mum's delicious dairy produce when she produced not one but TWO filthy nappies and promptly went apeshit at the excitement of it all. For nearly an hour, breaking off only to guzzle down bottle for more screaming energy. Thankfully then went back to sleep. She's lying dozing like an angel as I type, listening to the soothing 'whomp whomp' of Ewan the Sheep.
I should probably feel proud... like mother like daughter or something...
Thanks October will look out for it - could you link to it if you get a chance to browse online?
Angelico glad your l little I one is living up to the family name. Lol
Ok I feel a bit bad. Dh has "taken a shift" with the little one so that i can get some rest. They are in bed and is all tucked in with him on his chest after a failed attempt at swaddling and getting ds into the bassinet. Only thing is now they are asleep and mama bear is too nervous to sleep because 1 dh takes drowsy sinus meds that say do not operate heavy machinery .. I'm thinking that also should include do not coo sleep with a little one. And 2 dh gets major full body twitches when he is falling asleep and I keep envisioning him launching ds right out of bed with one of them... And 3 I see how awkward he is with trying to move ds from one position to another during the day, and think can he really manage to do the same in the middle of sleeping.
But dh only gets 2 nights a week where he doesn't have to work the next day, and this is really only his first full night sleeping with us in the same room and I don't want to question his abilities this Dion....so now I lay nervously awake in the dark watching them sleep until day wakes and it is my turn again.
Thankfully my parents are here tomorrow and I can privacy count on a nap our two in the day .
angelico microwaveable hot water bottles to warm up baby's nest.
Has anyone advice or been given advice on eating when BF?? MW said to avoid onions and garlic as can give bubba wind. We had pasta with jar of sauce 2 nights ago and nappies were stained orange and even more plentiful!!!! Oh and we have dirty nappy with EVERY feed, lovely. All out lovely freezer food seems off the menu and trying to eat plain!!!! Not really been long enough at home to kno what normal baby is and don't want to risk aggravating him!!!!!
Can I also ask those of you who are expressing, does it hurt as much as latching on? And his latch is apparently perfect, so many midwives checked!! Just tried and reduced me to more tears. Not planning on doing yet really, too early but wanted a small amount to keep for his sticky eye as I'm not great at hand expressing. I hav the Avent electric pump
smorgs day 3 is a mofo. Even when you know to expect it it still gets ya. It does get better, honest.
angelico at mini two poohs. Annoying that pooh stopped sleep though. Had two myself yesterday. The pregnancy hormones have left the building.
huffle garlic won't affect all babies. I have had garlic, chilli, curry, no affect on master midge. Different things affect babies but I've never avoided garlic do would just try your lovely meals anyway.
Best go. Master midge has no conception if day and night. Fed all night, now sleeping all day do need to make productive use of time. DD has a party and I have a drs app do need to drag arse into town. Thankfully not on the tube as I would be paranoid with midge on the germy tubular system (paranoid mum emoticon).
Seem incapable of typing the word so without autocorrect changing it. nobber.
DD has just refused bottle again. She gets really upset. Bugger!
Parents are here and very willing to help but have still been unable to get more than 1-2 hours sleep as after epic feeding during the week and expressing, boobs are agony if baby doesn't feed every hour. now she doesn't want it every hour any more and I'm in so much pain.... presumably expressing more will make this situation worse?? i don't know what to do
Shee takes the bottle fine but haven't given her more than 2oz yet as cannot bear painful swollen boobs so keep taking her back off my mum Guess I hsould put all that milk in the freezer instead, so frustrating.
They are going tomorrow and I wanted a break so badly
Also tried to have sex with boyfriend this morning and it really hurt inside, he was nice about it and we had a cuddle instead (avoiding boobs) but it made me very sad ... just feel like my body is not my own
squid you could express a little off for relief but not more than a minute, then your supply won't go up. It should level off after a day or so.
I need that break too .
I think you are very brave for even trying sex. I am terrified!
Hi all, just a quick one to say Little Cherry Boy arrived at 11:05am Japan time (3:05am UK time) on Friday, October 26th, weighing 2996g (approx 6.6lbs?).
Will post birth story later as I'm on my phone and, of course, one handed! I'll just say it didn't quite go to plan. But we're both fine so I'm happy with it.
Will put name and photo on Facebook later.
Sorry haven't had a chance to read and catch up with all your news on here, will try tomorrow. Hope you're all well
Congrats cherry and mini cherry.
wantan have you tried diff types of bottle? We're going to try tonight. I'm just trying formula as I remember that last time expressing made my boobs so sore and was part of the reason I have up bfing completely.
Boobs sore today. DD2 has her first cold, bless, so didn't feed well in the night and was really fussy latching on and off, poor thing.
Hello all. I've been on the due in December thread up till now but ad DS1 decided to turn up at 33+3 on Thursday I'm hoping I'll be allowed to join in with you ladies chatting about newborns here. LO is currently in scbu but having expressed milk and doing well.
Of course you are welcome
To join us Honey sorry for the crap
One handed typing. Hope your little
One is out of SCBU soon. That must have been a shock
Coming that early!
Help! 11 day old DD2 has a cold! I feel so bad as I've been so careful about picking up DD1's germs. She's coughing and sneezing and had a watery eye. I don't know what to do for such a little one, except bathe the eye in cooled boiled water and ensure she's feeding regularly?
Lizzie breast milk in the eye will work wonders. Kids olbas oil , and elevated mattress at one end. DD1 had a sinker just a few days old and they all helped. And keep an eye on temperature. Nurse Midge
Finally got a chance to get on here, so nice to hear everyone's news!
We're 6 days in and am loving it. Amelie is pretty chilled, just working on the latch. Last night was a bit tough, she was feeding every hour or so, then at 5 she was hungry but would suck a few times and then fall asleep. If you put her down she would cry again. This went on till 6.30 when she finally fed. Really hope it's not the same tonight.
Will namecheck next time but just wanted to say hi!
Hi honey lovely to have you here and congratulations on your baby, hope not in scbu for too long. How are you feeling?
Ok day for us so far today, went out into town today with baby in sling and dd1 on my own - very exciting. Baby slept all the time and dd1 behaved beautifully - a success! Am finding that baby still sleeps pretty much all the time if she idnt feeding - she's 3 weeks now... Are others still finding this? Tried to wake her up earlier as I wondered if that was why she wasn't settling at night but she just screamed and fed until finally going back to sleep.
Hi honey congratulations and you are very welcome! I hope your baby comes out of scbu soon, it must be a tough time for you at the moment.
shell glad you've got a chilled one! Hope tonight is better.
squid how frustrating to have help and not feel able to use it! Poor you, hope you manage to get some relaxation in.
midget hope master m gets his days and nights sorted soon!
We've had babypaving asleep all afternoon, which is very uncharacteristic at the mo, but he woke up about 45mins ago and the narkathon has commenced. We also have a poorly DS1 who was up in the night several times - only when DS2 was sleeping, natch, and was unable to nap today because he's so bunged up and coughing so much. So 2 overtired wailing children currently. It's fecking fab here. Absolutely DREADING tonight, was up every hour last night and fear tonight may be worse. DS1 exhausted and unable to sleep, crying as I type....better go....
Thanks midget and smiley. Certainly was a shock him coming so early. He's doing well considering everything but I'd on phototherapy today for jaundice. Will be in scbu at least a couple of weeks. Have managed to express for him for everything he's had so far bit it's only day 3 and my boobs are now really sore! He had a bit of a nuzzle and tried to suck earlier but hadn't got the reflex quite sorted yet!
That's impressive honey! My DC1 had to be tube fed but no way I could have kept up with what she needed. Power to the boobs!
Thinking of you Crazy, hope last night wasn't too bad. It will get better, and when it does it'll feel all the more better [terrible English emoticon], for being so bad now. IYSWIM? I think you're amazing, doing this with a toddler too
Welcome honey congratulations and hope your little one gets out of scbu soon.
crazy hope last night was a bit better?
Thanks so much for your support yesterday. I felt like such s loser having a meltdown on only day 3 when things really aren't that bad. Think it coincided with my milk coming in so maybe that's why. Anyway, have had much better night thanks to a magical magical dummy and some swaddling. Think I was also feeling a bit homesick for the uk and nervous of going home when I've been so well looked after here. They really have been amazing. Should be going home today... Deep breath! The responsibility is a bit overwhelming sometimes isn't it?
crazy hope you got a better night than you were anticipating?
Smorgs day 3 is over, well done on surviving it.
Hope you had a good night Crazy. She latched on loads better last night. Was just saying to DP 'That was a good night' and then realised I never thought waking every 2 hours and being awake for an hour would be a good night!
How did everyone cope with clocks going back?
Smorgs glad you're feeling better. I found getting home much nicer, all your things are there and you feel more in control.
Cherry how long do you have to stay in.
Honey you sound like you're doing a brilliant job.
Hi all, I hope you're doing well and I look forward to catching up with all your news. A gorgeous babyLondon arrived on Friday 26th, her due date, at 11.15pm. The labour was more than 3 days and has left me feeling traumatised, but before I deal with that I have more pressing matters. She STILL won't feed. She just shows absolutely no interest. She'll suckle her fingers, my husband's nipples... anything except my nipples. I've expressed some colostrum and given her that in a bottle, but I'm offering the breast every couple of hours and nothing. Have tried after expressing when my nips are huge and also with a nipple shield. Still no.
Does anyone have any ideas? I don't want to give up but I'm just feeling like such a failure already.
Sorry for the distressed post- she is absolutely beautiful, and we're totally in love with her. I just desperately want her to feed.
londonmrss How frustrating - it's awful when people say they'll feed instinctively but they don't. Newborns' moods and behaviour change so fast, though - don't give up yet! This link http://www.llli.org/faq/back.html has some good advice and generally I think the best approach would be to hold baby close almost all the time with as much skin-to-skin contact as possible - not just trying every couple of hours. It's a bit limiting but it sounds as though you need a rest after that long labour. [hug]
Hi London and congrats on your little lady. I cannot give u any practical advice, my feeding probs r totally opposite. But u do need help. Hav you a midwife contact u can call? Or one of the national helplines? NCT or similar? I know there's lots of helplines, think all I hav are for NI but I can look for you. Hav u tried a syringe of expressed stuff?? We had one top up of 100ml formula via syringe when I was so poorly. He took well.
Wel done expressing btw, I'm unable to this far
Just found this article which is very reassuring for sore nipples!!!!
Lizzietow Poor thing with a cold. My DD had one at about two weeks and we took her to A&E because she was so little. But she was fine. As well as suggestions below you can buy a device in pharmacies that sucks out snot from a baby's blocked nose. It really helps if they can't feed because the nose is too stuffed up. Good luck. x