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October 2011, the three C's crawling cruising and chatting

(954 Posts)
LittlePebble Tue 10-Jul-12 04:37:33

Thanks Mama for the title. A new thread hopefully everyone will find us again.

Outnumbered4to1 Tue 10-Jul-12 05:26:05

Thanks mama and LP. Marking my place.

Thanks LP smile

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Tue 10-Jul-12 06:49:18

Marking place smile

pinkpainter Tue 10-Jul-12 07:29:51

Hello!! I'm back to after getting very behind on the previous thread - 1000 posts in just under a month!
My baby isn't doing any of the title things yet - she does sort of shouting noises but no words or real talking sounds yet. She is excellent at hand to mouth coordination (and had a pincer grip at just over 6 months), she also looks like she's taking everything in, and gets really excited at bubbles and animals. I'm sure she'll catch up soon enough!

lovinbeingmum Tue 10-Jul-12 07:54:55

Marking place smile

fuzzzy mama penguin would love to join the group on fb!...fuzzzy would you be able to add me if I pm'ed you my id....at the end of the week of course...you have enough on your hands this week..

...also we have a crawler smile...he was heading off towards the door this morning and I called after him asking where he was heading off too. he turned around, gave me a 'i'm up to no good' smile and then tried to dash off again...which of course meant crawl, crawl, crawl with a bum shaking like shakira....i love this stage!

i have to speed up on the baby proofing. what do all of you do about the wires around the place? found him the other day trying to pull the telephone and broadband cables out of the socket.

sassy still hoping for you that the doc was wrong...how is E

outnumbered hope the two of you feel better soon......a cold and post holiday blues...not good....

Penelope1980 Tue 10-Jul-12 07:58:10

Hello! Good morning ladies! Marking place ...

lookout Tue 10-Jul-12 08:02:50

lovin pm me your email address and I can add you to the fb group smile

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 08:40:51

mama that's twice you've said 3. you must have it imprinted on your mind, despite my writing other wise. wink

the twins will be 2. that's 2 years old. grin
got a whole year to wait til they are 3, because this birthday they are going to be 2. heehee. hope that worked! smile

well, i think the doc might have been wrong, as they are less aggressive looking this morning and they havent spread confused

she's not ill with it, and she's still eating, so its not a bother at the minute.
she has 2 new teeth coming through. my kids must be hard as nails,. she hasnt cried, woke up in the night, gone off her food or anything! you only know she has teeth cos you can see um.
she can sit up from crawling by herself now and she's cruising. she has just started to put her hands out to you, to be picked up.

pebble mama i appreciate the effort. smile
i go back up and scroll though sometimes but most of the time ive forgot
again by the time ive got back to the reply box!
left playgroup yesterday and was almost home before i remembered that the nursery manager had gone off to find out some information for me! oops. im not fit be let loose at minute. these pills are making me more forgetful than i was before!

out hope you are enjoying your hols?

pink welcome back.

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Tue 10-Jul-12 08:56:41

Hi everyone
Sorry been away so long, hoping to keep up this time. blush
Mhairi has had an er infection lately but hopefully is coming through now but it has totally knocked off all semblance of a sleeping routine and both she an I are exhausted all the time sad
She can't crawl forward yet but an get from her tummy to hands and knees to bum an she bum shuffles quite well. No cruising here yet though she does have a few words.
Mummy - me
Dada- dad
Mama- boob
Nana- my gran grin
Hope everyone is well

I missed what was wrong with the kids sassy hope they're ok

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Tue 10-Jul-12 09:44:07

pp aww don't feel like M has catching up to do. It's amazing just the difference a few weeks makes. I forget when M was born in the month. S is one of the older ones but has had a huge development leap in just the past week. A few things she can now do;
Points to sky when she hears a plane (emirates geek here blush)
Points to her head when you ask her
Waves 'bubye' and put her hand up to say 'hi'
Can say 'baba, dada, and just getting there with mama' will also say mum when she is crying
Holds out her hands to be lifted
She is really starting to point at things now and I love how she has moments when she just sits and takes everything in

Yes to whoever it was that said about the wires!! I swear she goes looking for them!

Morning going good so far. Brought her bumbo so she sat in that to have breakfast and now we have escaped into other room while she had her nap and kids play on wii. Hoping to try get out for fresh air later. Weather said rain by 1pm though sad

MrsHende Tue 10-Jul-12 09:55:45

Morning ladies and babies!

Just marking my place smile.

golemmings Tue 10-Jul-12 10:03:31

Hi y'all. Well I managed to read most of the last thread if not post very much which is an improvement.
Jealous of all those with ggp; our 2 have one gp on each side. I guess its what happens when you leave having kids to when you're older.
Off to the dietition today to talk about dairy & soy intolerance.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 10:16:30

2??? Is that twooo sassy ;) imprinted now onmy mind. How the hell do you manage3 under 2?

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 10:37:14

chocolate/vodka/anti d's!!!!

grin

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 10:44:21

its took me 30 mins to work out ggp and gp gole !!!

im old, and we have no ggp's, although dd1 had 1 ggp until she was 6.

i lost 2 gp before i was a teenager.
i feel sorry for my dp has he as lost 3 of his in 5 years. he still has his grandma, so the youngest 3 have 1 ggp on his side.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 10:45:04

grin you could market that.

ClimbingPenguin Tue 10-Jul-12 13:09:07

<signs back in>

Scheherezade Tue 10-Jul-12 13:11:56

Right - I just wanted to defend myself. I hate dramas and scandals etc, so I was just trying to lie low and hide away whilst it all calmed down/was forgotten about. Mama pmd me, I explained why I had been upset (and acknowledged it was just the way I was seeing things, and may not have been intended that way. Maybe that was wrong to do, but I prefer to settle things privately, than publicly), and said "thanks for apologising" - whether she missed that message, I don't know. But I have it saved in my sent box, so it's definitely there.

I can't stand any of the "he said she said" stuff, so when I saw I was being nastily written about to say I had ignored apologies, and I did feel that was playground, and so felt uncomfortable returning to the thread, it's just embarrassing, for all involved. After being portrayed that way (unfairly) it didn't/doesn't feel like I'd be welcome, anyway.

I just want it all to go away. I'm quite a shy person IRL, and don't like getting involved in this stuff. But I want to point out I DID say thank you, and staying off here isn't me having a sulk or flounce, I just wanted to let things die down.

What with what's happened with expat and her little girl, a difference of opinion isn't a big deal.

ClimbingPenguin Tue 10-Jul-12 13:22:23

sch I am sorry you feel that you were being attacked and I hope you are able to take the chance to take a proper break from all of this.

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 13:23:21

scheh i dont think ANYONE has said anything nasty about you on here at all.

i think mama was trying to say that you hadnt acknowledged her apologise or made one of your own, as a sign that you were not showing signs of letting it go/getting passed it.

i met you in rl and you did come across as quiet and shy, but on here you can be quite confrontational and i've bit my tongue a few times. maybe you dont mean to, maybe you dont realise you are doing it? but if you want to post something that opposes someone elses view, you have to say it in a way that doesnt attack that way of doing things, and im afraid that that is what you sometimes do.

im not speaking for anyone else by the way- i may be a lone voice in my opinion and thats fine. this is not playground mentality, where everyone is ganging up on you. we all are grown ups and ive not sniffed out a bully/alpha female in the group. i think we are all extremely nice women with lots of support and advice and no judging. so i find it hard to see where you are coming from.

mama has apologised, you say you have. its best just left.

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 13:28:31

welcome back climbing

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 13:36:38

of course you would be welcome by the way.

how's chubby cheeked cyrus doing?

ClimbingPenguin Tue 10-Jul-12 13:39:58

thanks smile

DS is still not quite crawling as he tries to get onto his feet, if DD drops some food on the other side of the room he quickly gets there though grin He can 'crawl' around and then take himself up to sitting. Still can't get over the fact DD was walking by now but I am enjoying him being less mobile. He has been more contented this week which has made things easier, I ended up leaving most of the playgroups early last week as it was too hard with him.

FWIW I agree with sassy and I agree that it isn't personal/intentional on your part, just I worry for you in case it's insecurities etc. getting to you. (I noticed you on other threads). I really do hope you are OK though, as I am sure others do too.

LittlePebble Tue 10-Jul-12 14:26:13

scheh no one has said anything bad about you, everyone just wants to all get along and move past it x how's Cyrus?

climbing grin good to have you back, are your nights any better?

ClimbingPenguin Tue 10-Jul-12 14:34:40

erm not really but he has had a bit of a cold which only really comes out at night. I did however survive three days of ILs. I am stuck in for the afternoon waiting for a plumber that won't probably turn up until 5pm

lookout Tue 10-Jul-12 15:11:31

Sche nice to see you posting. I hope you'll carry on smile. I especially love all your food ideas, you're so creative with what you give C!

<Waves at Climbing> It's amazing how different they are to their siblings isn't it? Ds1 had teeth, was sitting and crawling, and sleeping through all before E. I'm with you on making the most of non-movement though. This house is no way baby proof!

Still awful sleep here. Managed 4 hours in all last night sad. And I have friends coming for supper tonight so can't even get an early night. And I am grumpy. Again.

You must all think I'm a moany old cow. I'm not always like this but E has aged be about 30 years grin

Scheherezade Tue 10-Jul-12 15:23:29

Thanks lo smile C has been enjoying sardines mashed with tomatoes sandwiches today! He's crawling better which is tiring him out, goes to sleep 7-7.30, woke up 8.15am today! He's suddenly loads happier in the day too, doesn't want carrying constantly, now that he can explore the environment himself. Thats all it was, he didn't want cuddles as he'd kick off if I sat down! That's why his nickname is little bugger his lordship. We're lucky to have a big living room with lots of space so he's enjoying himself a lot more. Need a stairgate as he's mastered stairs!

lookout Tue 10-Jul-12 15:30:15

Wow. Sche sounds like he's really busy! So good to hear he's feeling better in himself smile Ds1 was like that, so frustrated until he could walk, then it happened again when he was learning to talk. We lived in a flat then and didn't have a stairgate as lived on 1st floor and he got so used to steps that we didn't bother in the end. Have to keep an eye out though!

I tried tuna on E and he turned his nose up at it so I'm pretty sure sardines would be out too. He is so picky like his dad

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 15:34:24

sad and a little shock. I've been very restrained, and am trying to remain so. No one has written nastily or behind anyones back. For goodness sake, this is all very silly and really can't be arsed with it.

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 15:37:20

<flounces off to netmums>....

Ok I am not ~that~ annoyed/desperate/bonkers *delete as appropriate.

lovinbeingmum Tue 10-Jul-12 15:37:44

climbing not sure if it's the same but R tends to have a cold at night too. all ok during the day but a bunged up nose at night which has him screaming intermittently and then I have to keep settling him. i tried two things - sometimes one works, sometimes another (sometimes of course neither) wonder if either will work for you....

Either: kept a saucepan of boiling hot water with a few drops of karvol in his room. that gave him humidity in the air and the karvol of course helped

Or: The calpol plug-in. We put it in his room but it kind of pervades the entire house; DH and I end up sleeping quite fabulously too.

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 15:41:16

im enjoying some peace and quiet after the twins antics (pics on fb group) all 3 babes are asleep, except jacob is asleep on me and im laying on the handset- so raa raa the noisy lion it is! hmm

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 15:42:59

what is so wrong with netmums <ducks in case there is some MAJOR reason that im not aware of>

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 15:49:49

sassy I dare you to start a thread asking that very question... Go on wink <hands sassy voddy for Dutch courage>

Damn, J awake and trying to eat phone. She keeps eating bits off the carpet too.i think I birthed a goat. Best go do parenting.

Just wanted to say that I have never seen any playground tactics/ bullying on here. We are all grown ups and there are going to be different opinions sometimes - be very boring if there wasn't!

That is the end of the matter <gavel>

ClimbingPenguin Tue 10-Jul-12 15:54:31

i should try that loving it's what I do for DD but in my head DS is still a little baby and I forget to try these things as well blush I think I have been a bit depressed lately which has affected my thinking.

i only skim read the last thread but I just wanted to say that it is really easy to think what works for your baby is transferable and when writing suggestions, as hard as it, remember each baby is different. I've had several people refuse to believe my two won't nap in buggies or car-seats, like it is some universal truth.

Hi to climbing, pink and grey nice to have you all back smile

sassy you've have quite the afternoon smile great pics on fb

Loving the 'generations' pics on there too.

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 15:55:25

what would i start it in?

Scheherezade Tue 10-Jul-12 15:56:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClimbingPenguin Tue 10-Jul-12 16:01:52

sch I think there a lot of us here who struggle with our older babies (def. me). They will never get to a magical content bit, just lulls while they wait for their next transition. It has helped me knowing the bad and the good bits don't last, just cycle round each other

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 16:06:26

sassy start it in AIBU then you are bound to get a good roasting grin

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 16:07:47

strawberry gavel noted miss. Ds1 home grin I have a babysitter lol.

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 16:15:52

ok, i asked! geniunely dont know whats wrong about them. <innocent emoticon>

Scheherezade Tue 10-Jul-12 16:20:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scheherezade Tue 10-Jul-12 16:20:41

You know when you wish there was a 'like' button? Wish I could like that sassy has asked that grin

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 16:27:26

i had 5 replies before i even refreshed! i get the picture now though. i have never ever been on there for some reason, but im tempted to look now.

i cant even remember how i found mumsnet. ????? brain is just pickled from pregnancies.

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Tue 10-Jul-12 16:39:58

<off to search for sassys thread>

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 16:47:16

Well done sassy smile

sassy34264 Tue 10-Jul-12 16:49:21

sassy netmums don't have a mobile site either and navigation is a nightmare! ( I looked and came running straight back to MN) V brave of you to start a thread you probably need this wine now grin

TallyBear Tue 10-Jul-12 18:20:07

ROFL, love that thread. I had never realised NM was so wrong!!

Only half way through so need to finish but just had a text from dh that he's on his way home with ds from his folks. It's an hour away. I told him this morning that he needed to be back by 6:30 to give Seb some dinner before his bottle and bed!! What is it with men and timekeeping?! It's bad enough that Seb will sleep in the car and won't be remotely tired by bedtime.

And I was so busy reading the NM thread I forgot to go to Zumba!!!! Bollocks!! That's three weeks in a row I've missed no wonder I'm still a lard arse...

Welcome back Sch and anyone who's been AWOL.

<goes off to search the cupboards for chocolate knowing full well that there is none in the house despite the HUGE tesco delivery last night sad>

TallyBear Tue 10-Jul-12 18:28:59

Oh no, I think I've used lo for little one on mn before!

<feels my mn credibility seeping away>....

lookout Tue 10-Jul-12 18:41:29

sassy that is hilarious grin brightened my day right up!

Off to make dips n stuff for the ladies tonight. Group of friends coming over for wine and nibbles and now I've read the netmums thread and had a bottle of beer I am looking forward to it!

Have a pleasant evening hunnies wink

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Tue 10-Jul-12 18:54:59

I find nm so 'American' what with the hun/hunnies and 'baby dust/pink sparkles' nonsense!! MN is farrrr better wink. I've only read some of the thread but will catch up after little duck is in bed

Fuzzzy (proud mum to dd 9 1/2 mnths)
gringringringringringringringrin

CheshireDing Tue 10-Jul-12 19:45:38

Blinkin' heck I don't post for a couple of weeks (in fact I don't even think it's that long) and you start a new thread, fall out, make friends (or whatever was going on), get poopy bums (well in Sassys fb world anyway).

Am not going to go back and read the old thread, am not even going to read these 3 pages otherwise I will never catch up. Sorry, no offensive.

It was lovely to meet up with Sassy and Scheh the other week and meet C and E and the twins, E was standing up herself and going on her tiptoes too! C was funny when Scheh went to get him so water and he started crying but as soon as I picked him up and we started Baby Flying at Sassys glasses he forgot about Mum and was laughing his little head off grin It was good that they could all have a play together too, although my picture taking trying to get them all still at the same time is questionable.

Poppy has had diarrhoea since Monday last week now, initially I wasn't worried because I thought it was teething but by Wednesday she had had 7 poopy nappies in 24 hours so I panicked a bit and took her to the GP, temp and everything ok so unfortunately just teething sad I think I can see 2 bottom teeth and she is still poopy and really clingy at the moment - but I think that might be a 9 month thing.

Still gorgeous, still yummy, still waking in the night, still want another, still not turning up sad (but have been having Reflexology so fx)

Right going to not get so beyond this time, sorry for whittery post.

lovinbeingmum Tue 10-Jul-12 20:34:27

didn't realize you had two climbin redundant post smile thing is I keep experimenting when he has some problem and then when something works, i walk around like I'm Einstein who's discovered the solution for world peace.....

general question - have any of you held back from giving the babes egg? I've been giving him the yolk only and now whole egg in sche's fab cheese and spinach omlette suggestion. He has it happily but I got into a debate with my health visitor (or whatever she's called - the baby clinic person) today. She wants me to stop, even though he's shown no signs of allergy, claiming that allergies will develop if I keep giving it to him. That's not all. According to her, egg reduces the absorption of iron. The whole point of giving egg is for iron and calcium, I thought.

I'm almost totally sure she's wrong. Will google it but wanted to check on here as well......

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 20:43:16

I give J eggs, runny yolks too. Your hv sounds bonkers

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 20:47:11

I just google and there was something about reducing absorption of iron so u retract bonkers statement confused

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 20:50:00

Found a better site as .gov and it gives eggs as one of best sources of iron which is what I thought originally...

www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002422.htm

Hi cheshire hope Poppy starts feeling better soon

lovin I tried to give W scrambled egg but he outright refused to eat it so I had it for lunch instead! I am panning on trying him with a hard boiled one soon though.

Scheherezade Tue 10-Jul-12 21:10:34

Lo I hope not as C has eggs 4 times a week!
My HV hasn't mentioned it, and I'd not read anything? Thing is, for hundreds of years meat, eggs, fish, fruit and veg were all people and babies had, surely its natural and healthy?

For the person who was struggling with milk intake (lo again?) C didn't have much milk one day, so I made a white cheese sauce with 1/2 formula, flaked salmon and chopped broccoli. You could make it with all formula.

<waves at Cheshire> sorry to hear about P, it breaks your heart when they're ill and you can't take it away sad teething is not nice or fun.

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Tue 10-Jul-12 21:16:43

I went right off eggs when I was preg and now can't bring myself to buy them, even for S!! confused

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Tue 10-Jul-12 21:20:35

I have two loads of washing to do and about 3 sinks of dishes plus all bottles to wash/sterilize yet I cannot force myself up from the couch!!!

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 21:38:11

I just found couch and watching bbc1 and faffing on iPad/phone eating grapes and -- then-- dairymilk

ClimbingPenguin Tue 10-Jul-12 21:47:25

I haven't tried DS on egg or dairy yet blush, I only got as far as fish and various nuts (in butter form, cashew, peanut, hazlenut and almond).

The only things they can't have is whole nuts and honey I thought. That HV does sound bonkers.

Scheherezade Tue 10-Jul-12 21:56:26

See, I get free eggs from stables and mega cheap off neighbour, so as a recently-graduated student I can't bear to waste free/cheap food!

Also I'm a bit mad, and fret about him getting protein & carb twice a day, and in varying forms. Otherwise it'd just be sandwiches for lunch every day, as he's decided pasta is YUCK.

ClimbingPenguin Tue 10-Jul-12 22:10:40

At some point you may find c will fixate on one food group, eg carb load, that is normal, obviously still offer variety but don't stress if he doesn't partake of it all.

Scheherezade Tue 10-Jul-12 22:16:05

Yeah... Atm he just fixates on the dogs food, which has to be hidden up the stairs (hence his learning to climb stairs).

lovinbeingmum Tue 10-Jul-12 22:26:06

so glad to hear all the feedback on egg....have decided to ignore her....smile

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 22:54:49

climbingpenguin you are right there. I remember Sam doing that (still does). And some days J will eat lots and hardly anything the next. I reckon they like to keep us guessing confused. Made quorn with pasta twirls and spaghetti tonight. Was scummy as used pine nuts, garlic, onion, spinach, herbs and tinned tomatoes with a bit of tomato purée. She scoffed hers then pinched some of mine. And after she "fed herself" (and the kitchen floor) custard.

Scheherezade Tue 10-Jul-12 22:58:35

Do pine nuts come from ordinary pine cones?? hmm

MamaMaiasaura Tue 10-Jul-12 23:11:59

Yup, but I get them from Tesco. Expensive but scrummy.

Scheherezade Tue 10-Jul-12 23:47:51

Oops, wrong smiley, I meant confused

So you could just harvest some from any woods?

God, I sound like such a tramp. But I'm worried the lack of sun means our blackberries and damsons aren't going to ripen.

CheshireDing Wed 11-Jul-12 08:55:44

Lovin when does she think you should start with the eggs then?! hmm Unless it's a really obscure food (like a crustacean maybe) and unless there is an allergy in the family personally I think they should try most things. P absolutely loves eggs and fish.

Never really thought about it but am now shock that pine nuts come from pine cones I see all floor - don't know why I am shocked, just never thought about it.

Scheh I also thought she had Chicken Pox as she had spots everywhere but they seem to be going now

Penelope1980 Wed 11-Jul-12 09:48:13

Advice here is that eggs are OK as long as they are cooked - haven't tried them yet though. Have always been a bit quietly impressed by your food choices for P cheshire, it's taken me a while to get confidence to be creative but am now and it's paying off.

MamaMaiasaura Wed 11-Jul-12 09:57:11

Grrrr why does my mother always phone at J naptime? I just scrolled thro my text and pretty much all of them are that l I can't talk now, just settling J for nap and I intend to join her". I bet she's on her way over already and I'm so tired I need rat, not to rush around cleaning before and them waiting on her and step dad. I wouldn't mind if she ever came over to help me. I know I'm sounding ungrateful and I do love her, but she is frustrating and like mrs bucket 'bouquet'

MamaMaiasaura Wed 11-Jul-12 10:06:29

Rat grin I meant rest lol

LittlePebble Wed 11-Jul-12 10:17:48

mama turn your phone off and lock the door next time wink

Another one who feeds eggs HV here said after 6 months is fine but no runny yolk until after 1.

scheh and cheshire I don't think the pine nuts in pine cones in England are big enough.

lookout Wed 11-Jul-12 12:28:16

We've been advised against eggs til 12 months but only cos of dairy/soya allergy (which seems to be getting better btw - I can have a bit and it doesn't bother him like it used to--so have been eating far too much cheese--)

emmazed Wed 11-Jul-12 14:49:18

littlep and pene I have read the same - eggs are fine as long as they are cooked through. I have heard with some babies have problems with eggs that they have grown out of.

Quick q, where is the doc on FB which has everyone's rl names? I only check FB on mob so may be why, but I can't see it. Is it somewhere special?

My parents and dh's parents are both coming this weekend, v excited as have really missed them. I love seeing Joseph with his gp's. I am going to do a dinner party for us all on sat night and excitedly planning a menu at the moment. V sad I know, but I love cooking interesting and special food. Menu so far is:
Chinese style, chicken and mushroom soup
Halibut with tagliatelle and asparagus velouté
stick toffee pudding

What do you think? Any suggestions before I buy/make the stuff?

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Wed 11-Jul-12 17:31:13

Can I come emma it sounds delicious and it feels like so long since I had nice food I've gotten back into a lazy repetitive rut ATM.

Re eggs I gave Mhairi hard boiled egg 1/4s as a finger food @ about 6 months and she has also had soft boiled mashed in a cup (Christopher's fave) although I know they're not meant to have soft boiled till after 12 months.

Scheherezade Wed 11-Jul-12 18:52:10

That sounds lovely Emma although what is veloute?! Only addition I can make is- don't forget the wine! grin

LittlePebble Wed 11-Jul-12 19:06:05

em sticky toffee is my favourite grin

MrsHende Wed 11-Jul-12 19:19:53

Can I come too? Even just for pudding grin!

I have just changed the SIXTH dirty nappy of the day!! I'd had no dirty nappies since Sunday evening and so started Operation Constipation yesterday...safe to say it worked wink.

Have just come home from a lovely few days at my mum and dad's with Lizzie. I've come back with no dirty clothes (my mum is a laundry fairy!), a full tummy and well rested. As soon as L woke up in the morning and I'd fed her either mum or dad crept in and whisked her away and I was left to sleep. Absolute bliss!!

Came home to an overflowing bin, mouldy food in the fridge, kitchen surfaces covered in crumbs, floor needing hoovered...I want my mummy!!!!!!!!! DH is ever so slightly lacking in the housekeeping department angry.

Re the FB doc, I'm not sure it can be accessed from the phone app. Maybe someone who knows better will correct me though.

Right, bathtime!

lookout Wed 11-Jul-12 19:50:14

emma your menu sounds amazing. I don't want to put a dampener on it, but soup for starters then a veloute after? Lots of liquid? The halibut does sound great though, I would def stick with that! And do antipasti to start? Everyone loves antipasti and it looks smart without taking masses of effort wink

Mrs H we have many dirty nappies a day EVERY DAY! I don't know if it's normal or not but is costing a bloody fortune in nappies angry They are all solid though, so not diarrhea, just he does about 5 poos a day shock Your few days sound beautiful! I'm going to my folks in 15 sleeps time and I cannot wait!

lovinbeingmum Wed 11-Jul-12 19:54:18

cheshireshe recommends after 1 year but, I'm sure now, she needs to be ignored. i think she's a bit old school, comes up with things like the right age to have babies is in the twenties, anything over 30 is an old mum etc etc. anyway R smiles at her every time, so guess I can live with her.....

mrshendecan your mum adopt me....smile

think i was sleeping walking when i made R's breakfast this morning. instead of butter put too generous a dollop of olive oil in the pan for his omlette. had such a burpy baby all day long - at one point he sat up in utter shock at the sound of his own burp smile

MamaMaiasaura Wed 11-Jul-12 19:56:13

mrsh your parents sound lovely envy. I wish mine would come and help rather than be attended to. My MIL may be coming around for a day a week to help out tho smile, she will spend time with ds2 while I rest with J during school hols. She also offered to do laundry and help out as she enjoys it! I'm apprehensive as she was quite off when we got dx for ds2 but I think that was shock.

J cut her 6th tooth after dinner by gnawing on the dining room table like the baby out of "a series of unfortunate events"hmm I have footage and will download later. Shea now settled without pulling off and crying!smile I think it must have been really bothering her as last few days he's been unsettled at every bf.

Right, got to settle ds2 now xx

MamaMaiasaura Wed 11-Jul-12 19:57:59

grin @ operation constipation lol

MamaMaiasaura Wed 11-Jul-12 20:15:40

saasy mnhq siren went off on your thread grin some daily mail shenanigans

CheshireDing Wed 11-Jul-12 21:07:45

6th teeth Mama!! We have none here, just a bleeding nip for me sad so I think they are imminent.

Lovin I am clearly dead then according to your HV as didn't have Poppy until I was 35. Was too busy getting drunk in my twenties.

Pene I am impressed by P's eating too, she is pretty much a human hoover. Today it was toasted teacake, mange tout, pear, banana, marmite rice cakes, avocado, warm courgette and mixed peppers with Philadelphia and a sausage and yorkshire put and a home made scone. No wonder she has a pot belly grin

I, however have had a hash brown, a yorkshire pud and a bit of her teacake and some sweets.

MrsH P has 2 poo's a day and they STINK! Can you send your Mum down here please thanks smile

BB3 Wed 11-Jul-12 21:14:34

Posting quickly, promising to catch up and do better from tomorrow.

Hope everyone's ok x

Scheherezade Wed 11-Jul-12 21:15:10

hope K is recovering well from his op x

lookout Wed 11-Jul-12 21:29:00

Chesh That is an outstanding amount of food!

BB3 no need to catch up smile. Hope you and yours are ok too!

Mama I too am impressed by the 6 teeth! And grin at the table gnawing - it's funny how they shun any teething toys and work their gums on the most unlikely of objects! And your MIL is welcome to come and do my laundry if she fancies, also. No problem.

lovin loving the image of ds pride in his own burp - a true boy grin

Also em hope you didn't take my comment about the veloute badly sad I feel mean now. (Would love to know how you make your Chinese-style soup though - sounds yum!)

Scheherezade Wed 11-Jul-12 21:35:18

chesh that is far too much food, and far too healthy! grin

ipswichwitch Wed 11-Jul-12 21:47:01

Ha cheshire and lovin I am also clearly in the dead category at the grand old age of 34 - also spent my 20s getting drunk smile
God I wish N would eat half that!! He's pretty much over the gastroenteritis but his appetite is pretty nonexistent. Having plenty of milk tho, but we see the hv soon and I know I'll get a lecture about his weight (or lack thereof) and poor solid intake. All I can say is we try everything and she's more than welcome to come round at tea time and try her luck.
He's finally rolling over though!! Spent most of today at nursery rolling about. No crawling but he's a talker. Likes a good babble and when we were in b and q on sat was shouting what sounded exactly like "Barbara" at the top of his voice. Bless him!!
Is anyone here back at work full time? I'm starting to find it hard to cope now I've been back 4 weeks. Just feel rushed off my feet all the time and can't get things done at home, as I'm trying to make the most of every minute I'm with N. doesn't help that work is manic
mamacould certainly do with your mil here, still trying to catch up with the washing Everest created by poorly DS

BB3 Wed 11-Jul-12 21:50:16

Thanks scheh - he's almost back to normal I think just got to work on his communication now and see if we can make some inroads before his next surgery.

Right off to have a little catch up, will post properly again from tomorrow.

Sassy - how is your mum?

lovinbeingmum Wed 11-Jul-12 21:51:34

cheshire I like your list of foods A LOT. Think I'm going to try doing that tomorrow i.e. offer more variety. I keep trying to push him to eat that one bowl of cereal or lentils or whatever, when he clearly doesn't want it. In my defense, the fear was that he would start throwing tantrums not wanting to eat the main course of a meal and just eat yoghurts and fruits and everything sweet....

.....looking forward to meals tomorrow....

...now let's get through tonight...hmm

BB3 Wed 11-Jul-12 21:52:59

And mrsh please send your mother my way. Pretty please. With a cherry on top.

Way to go m on the speech mrs grey! You'll have them both singing "I work out" soon!!! the girls just seem to nag each other all day but no sounds we have yes and no head movements but only imitation! How is that gorgeous little entertainer doing?

ipswichwitch Wed 11-Jul-12 21:55:12

em the menu sounds lush, sticky toffee pudding.....hmmmmmm! <much homer Simpson style drooling>
lovin, boys are truly impressed by their own burps aren't they?!!
Hope K is doing well bb
mrsH I woulda turned around and hone straight back to mum and dads grin

lovinbeingmum Wed 11-Jul-12 22:12:14

By the way, have any of you checked out www.zulily.co.uk....I've been going a bit over-board blush thought it's especially lovely for girls.....

MamaMaiasaura Wed 11-Jul-12 22:21:36

cheshire how does P get on with mange tout. Dh popped some on her plate for lunch at weekend and I took them off as didn't think she'd manage them blush. Sti got some in fridge so I will give them a go tomorrow. Ouch for bleeding nipples! Poor you, I get sore before she cuts teeth as well and she's been unsettled when nursing so must have been painful for her. I hope P's come through soon (tho it hurts a lot more then when they nip). J has nipped me a few times but all I've done is push her into boob and then she's opened her mouth (and cried sad). J hasn't had teeth come thro in traditional order at all, she's a rebel.

ipswitch not going back to work till kids older, I really admire mums who do work and have no clue how you manage. My friend introduced me to flylady, which is where I got launch pads from. They make a huge amount of difference to the morning. Don't know if that helps you? Launch pad is basically the clothes you need for the following day, breakfast stuff (bowl spoon etc) laid out. Keys, bag etc all together. Yay for N rolling and chattering. Barbara must be a good name wink. J isn't making words at really, too busy trying to get hold of anything remotely dangerous and chasing down her brothers.

bb3 glad to hear K recovering, why does he need more surgery? sad. I messages you back on FB and apologise for the dire grammar and spelling blush

Em your menu sounds very tasty and now I need biscuits as hungry again.

loving grin at proud of his burp. Ds2 farted a couple of days ago, I said "did you fart??" (it was very loud part).. He said straight faced and seriously "No mummy, that was a pretend one". grin oh dear for hv... I had J at 36 blush.. and I wouldn't mind a 4th.

lookout I know! She has oodles of toys and instead eats carpets and tables hmm

MrsH J hasn't poo'd today and can go 4/5 days between but then has huge massive eye watering poo. Usually proceeded by restless night, lots of grunting and red faced, staring eyed (she's stares me out as she strains...) then eureka!

Phew I think that's it.

News here, infant school again tomorrow for ds2 to try. He had bad day at preschool as all confused and said its the wrong school. Lots of tears. Its just confusing for him.Had eldest report and all a, a and b's <proud emocicon>. Dh is flying out on my birthday so I'll be home alone with the dc but only till Tuesday so not too long at all, better than the long stints to Japan he had to do before.

golemmings Wed 11-Jul-12 22:48:50

Lookout - the egg thing was news to me but maybe that's a difference between allergy and intolerance. WE finally saw the dietitian yesterday. she seemed slightly put out that we'd done our own research but what were we supposed to do. he's 9 months and I've not eaten dairy since december. For my sake as well we had to do something. Anyway, she was deeply unconcerned about his calcium intake (even though we can only make it half the recommended figures) and just kept saying he was a bonny lad and he was fine (which he is - he's sitting quite happily on the 98th percentile line). The one useful thing she said was that she thought he was lactose intolerant not cmpi intolerant which makes life much easier. You can get loads of lactose free stuff (like ice cream - nom nom) but a lot of cheese is low lactose - especially Swiss cheese, feta, mozzerella, brie and very hard cheeses. Not that I image much of this is relevant to you or possibly even of interest but I said I'd share!

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Wed 11-Jul-12 23:08:00

Evening all. Not been on all day so had lots to catch up on grin. Have survived 3 days of full time work (off tomorrow!) but by god it's been hard at times. Normally I would've dropped S at my mums but with them on holiday I had to take her with me. Kids have been great with her but it's been hard when they want to play monopoly and S wants to eat the houses!! My brother took her for a few hours today, his first time alone looking after her! I left him a list for bottles/sleep etc explains that she would need both around 2.30/3 but he decided that she needed them at 1pm so cue dinner time (5.30) she was sleeping on the couch as she was shattered!! Had quick cat nap though and was in bed at 7.30. Having problems now though that she can stand in her cot in sleeping bag. I was in and out tonight layin her back down till she finally gave in and went to sleep. Rascal!
cheshire p sounds like she has a great diet. I try to offer as much variety as I can. She also likes some very random things! Tonight I made quorn sausage casserole with new potatoes and carrots. She really enjoyed it. mama plan to make your banana bread tomorrow smile. Also in mood for sticky toffee pudding now. Mmmmm grin

mamagrin at your DS2 and his pretend fart

bb3 good that K is doing well, what will his next op do?

fuzzzy glad work is alright, knew you'd be fine

I decided this morning that babies are gross. W gagged on a bit of toast he was eating and it made him sick. I jumped up to sort him out and before I got to him he started eating the toast he still had in his hand whist he was covered in vomit. He didn't even seem to notice!

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Wed 11-Jul-12 23:50:27

Thanks sp smile

S has also ate her own vomit confused. Much the same story. I was shock

Outnumbered4to1 Thu 12-Jul-12 07:09:28

fuzzy well done on surviving work!

Just popping on with limited Internet access on holiday. Trying to keep up with all the news.

BB good to hear your DS is doing well after the op smile

I gave Leo eggs from 6 months. They used to advise yolk only until 9 months but allergy advice has changed since ds2 was a baby. Speaking of which, Leo broke out in hives eating BBQ food, the only new thing he had was aubergine. He looked like he had nettle stings all over his cheeks sad I ran for the Benadryl but he was happy and chatting away so we didn't bother with it. The rash calmed down pretty quickly.

Aubergine seems a strange thing to be allergic to though hmm

Loving all the FB pics, especially the 4 generations. Not possible with Leo now but we have some photos of ds1 and ds2 with my grandmas. It's lovely to see the family resemblance isn't it?

Outnumbered4to1 Thu 12-Jul-12 07:13:23

Mama L sounds very similar to J except for the teeth (none yet). He doesn't say any words except he yells loudly 'aaahh' and he says 'bwabbwabbwab' a lot. But he's really mobile and a strong and just wants to be in the thick of it.

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Thu 12-Jul-12 08:18:47

BB3 entertainer is well, I posted a video on YouTube for you lol we were at a friends wedding a couple f weeks ago and they had a 1st dance for the bride's son but he wouldn't dance so C took over smile

How are you enjoying work fuzzzy I assume your still a nanny then?

Christopher's cabin bed is coming tomorrow morning so this will be his last night in his baby bed sad on the bright side Mhairi will get a decent sized cot now as she's almost the same length as her cot ATM.

sassy34264 Thu 12-Jul-12 08:57:16

ah! so much to remember! might just have to try without names for some. sorry.

emmazed your food sounds lovely (although i dont know what some of it actually is blush cant cook-wont cook here!)

cheshire i do that too- give babies good wholesome food, and eat junk myself.

bb3 my mum is ok. she has another 4 weeks off work, as she is just drained. but she is going away next week for 2 weeks with her partner (they have a mobile home)
poor k needing another op. found out this week that my step sister has grommets- but she doesnt know why hmm shes a lovely girl but a few sandwiches short of a picnic- in the most affectionate way.
saw some pics on fb that a friend tagged you in, of you looking fabulous! not envy at all! grin

mama hehehe at ds2 and hehehe at you having sti's in the fridge!! what was it supposed to say? wink

ha ha to those who think vomit eating is disgusting- wait till they move on to their own poo! <GAGS>

i was 37 when i had eva. i think only out is older. so your hv would indeed be mortified! my best friend, who was on this thread from the beginning was 41 when she had ds1. loads of time for you mamma well........when you get around to it wink

i dont know what eva weighs, but my friend lifted her 13 month old up in one arm and eva in the other and concluded eva was heavier!! that might be all the toast and fruit she keeps stealing off isobel. why not jacob? confused

how is work and dh, ed ?

sassy34264 Thu 12-Jul-12 09:02:17

forgot about eggs!

i was told 12 months for chloe,. but then told 6 months was ok, by the time i had twins. i waited till 9 months though and 7/8 months for eva. i have only given them 3/4 times so far.

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Thu 12-Jul-12 09:54:30

Time for a rant so feel free to skip but I figure if I write it down, it will shock me into action. I'm the same, feed S nice wholesome food and me junk. It's not even so much junk, it's portion size. I don't know when to stop!! All the weight I lost after S is now back on, plus another 1/2 st so I'm now back to where I started. I didn't even weigh this at 9mnths preg hmm!!! I swore I would never be back here so it's time to get the finger out. I really don't like how I look just now and I feel terrible for it. The sun is out and it's a lovely day here, might need to dust myself off and get out for a loooooong walk with S
Rant over grin

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Thu 12-Jul-12 10:02:56

sassy work has been no where near as bad as I thought it would be I think because I'm doing less hours it's a bit easier to cope with and I know that in 5 years time I'll definitely not be working there do its just a means I an end.
DH was drinking at the weekend fri/sat/sun and had a 1/2 bottle vodka each night, however he didn't drink till after the kids were in bed and ihe kept up his half of housework/childcare so I'm wondering now if I'm being too hard on him and it just seems worse to me because I don't drink at all, but friends and SIL all day that they drink more than that just because they have it as wine with/after dinner it doesn't seem as bad. So ATM we are going to marriage counselling as a last attempt, to see why we can't get on.

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Thu 12-Jul-12 10:11:55

fuzzzy me too sad my dangerous addiction to mrs Tilly's butter tablet has me now at the heaviest I've ever been in my life!
I still need to add u in my fitness pal haven't logged in at all this week blush

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Thu 12-Jul-12 10:33:44

It's carbs for me. Like for breakfast I've had 2 slice of toast and peanut butter and a bit of nutella, then for lunch id prob have a chicken salad baguette then for dinner tonight was planing home made roasted veg pizza. It's far to much!! I've done low carb in the past and it's worked so maybe need to try again. Not even cut out complete, but def cut down. Off to asda I go!

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Thu 12-Jul-12 10:43:26

The past week I've eaten my way through at least 6 bars o tablet and half a packet of penguins but haven't been eatin lunch so sugar is now probably the biggest food group in my diet!

Penelope1980 Thu 12-Jul-12 10:53:50

Hmmm can relate to the weight gain posts. Am seriously thinking of joining weight watchers as can't shift the baby weight and it's been 9.5 months now.

emmazed Thu 12-Jul-12 11:01:01

*l

emmazed Thu 12-Jul-12 11:09:12

Grr iPhones!

lookout of course I am not upset! No fear of that. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want the truth. Good point, hmm will have a rethink... Not made it before but the velouté looks more like a sauce than swimming in liquid. Any nice ideas for a white fish main course where lots can be made in advance?

The soup is ken hom - just got his cookbook. I love Chinese food, so looking forward to making my own.

Can't remember who said, but Joseph also poos lots, often 4 or 5 times a day, but again not especially loose so I presume ok. Although not pooed yet today, so I reckon there will be an explosion later

fd, pene, grey i find it is hard being at home all day with no structure so I end up eating more. I set myself little 'rules' for the day eg only unsweetened cereal for breakfast, no snack until xx time. I like a bit of structure tho.. Without it I fall apart!

emmazed Thu 12-Jul-12 11:17:27

grey I don't know what to say about your dh drinking again. I sure someone else will know good advice, but want to let you know that I hope you get it resolved in a good way for you and you can always talk about what is concerning you here. Sorry I don't have anything constructive to add, but I have no experience if it and don't want to say the wrong thing.

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Thu 12-Jul-12 12:33:43

No problem emma I don't really know what to think about it all myself as I say it didn't affect his behaviour or responsibilities over the weekend either while or after he was drinking so I'm not sure if it is actually me being over sensitive now? He has definitely stuck to the no smoking thing so that's a plus and we/I am really happy on weekdays/days when he's not drinking. So I am starting to think it is just me, he says he would love if I would have a drink or two with him and enjoy it but I just don't like alcohol or any other drug I am a bit of a control freak and don't like to feel even slightly out of control of my body. So again that seems to be my issue not his. I've been so self righteous up until now that I never even considered that it could be me being oversensitive I broke up with my ex because I felt that he drank too much he drinks similar amount/frequency to DH as I think that's partly the culture in Scotland that if you work mon-fri your entitled to binge at the weekend. Most people I know men and women behave this way so that's why I'm now thinking its me who's the odd one out.

MIL has the kids this morning while I "do housework and take car to be fixed" I haven't moved off the couch been watching OC all morning eating biscuits and house a mess need to get a move on blush
Sorry to hijack the thread again promise my next post will be baby related.

lookout Thu 12-Jul-12 12:34:37

grey the counselling sounds like a good idea. Really hope it helps you both

yy to everyone and their eating. I eat waaaaay too much, mostly because I feel tired, and I eat more when I'm tired. My big problem atm is Tyrells salt and vinegar. I can eat a big pack in one sitting blush but I actually can't stop myself sad

em I made a really nice halibut dish the other day which was mostly prep ahead. Boil new potatoes til pretty much done. Fry pancetta slices til crispy. Blanch asparagus and broad beans and remove grey skins. All in advance. Then when time to eat heat butter and oil and fry potaotes til getting crispy, crumble in pancetta and add asparagus and broad beans then some chopped parsley. At the same time fry your halibut and serve on top of the potatoe mixture. Was truly yummy.
And it was me with the poos too grin Obsessions with food and poo = weird. I'll presume ok too then!

Fuzzzy glad work went well.
ips I am in awe of all working mothers. I am SAH and ds2 had to go to school with a dirty t shirt today cos no clean ones sad First time EVER that's happened to me and I felt awful.

sassy34264 Thu 12-Jul-12 13:03:12

grey im a vodka drinker. its unbelievably how much i can drink and be relatively sober, then when i drink even more and eventually im drunk, i would estimate it at a bottle if not more.

and i know that sounds shocking but if you talk to other vodka drinkers they will prob say the same. you just get an tolerance to it after drinking it a while. me and dp nearly had a full bottle the other day between us and neither of was drunk.

but thats not every week or even monthly/ half yearly. i think ive been drunk twice since eva was born, and i mostly have 2 large glasses on a sat.

going to put my relationship thread answer head on here (feel free to ignore me)

i dont think the problem is how much he drinks per se. its that he NEEDS it. and i dont think marriage guidance can necessarily help you with that because its not a marriage problem. its HIS problem. it might help him to see that maybe, but unless he questions why he needs crutches to get through life- i cant see how its going to change ?

also its not you, not accepting the amount he drinks. i remember this well with my exdp. because you know he has a problem, you are on hyper alert to his drinking. you are like the alcohol police, because you know he cant control it. so he might be drinking an acceptable amount to others, but he's created this demon in you. iyswim.

my friend had an husband who drank every single night but it was only 4 cans during the week. to others that might sound acceptable, but she was a student midwife, with 2 kids, a kitchen that was falling bits, windows that were crumbling and they never went on holiday and she give up smoking and he carried on. if she tried to talk to him, he would just say the usual- i work all week plus overtime, i dont go out, this is my only enjoyment, why do you just try to make me feel guilty etc. on the face of it, he has a point, but if his family is suffering????!!!!!! they split up 2 years ago. and i she went through turmoil. she begged him at 1st, even though she made the decision. when i last saw her, she said it was the best thing to ever happen to her. saw him a few weeks ago- he moved in over a pub hmm he looks dreadful/aged.

im not saying you have to split up, just that you cant make someone see things your way sometimes. everyone tries hard, for a family life/love/ for the kids, but when you come to the conclusion that the horse that you're flogging is dead, you have to stop.

sassy34264 Thu 12-Jul-12 13:18:03

x posts grey i dont think its normal to drink 1/2 bottle of vodka 3 nights in a row, every week.
and if i was stretching it to be normal, he would be single and childless.

why is it a problem that you wont join him in having a drink? he doesnt join you in not having one, at the weekends does he?

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Thu 12-Jul-12 14:24:25

Thanks sassy I suppose I'm hoping that a counsellor would perhaps help him to see that he does have a problem, he maintains that its not every weekend but only when there's "occasions" which in our lives is usually at least once a week eg 2 weeks ago we had a date night on the friday night a party on the Saturday night and a wedding on the Sunday night before leaving on Monday for holiday, he drank a lot on holiday "because he was on holiday" last weekend was our first weekend back where it was T in the park weekend so this was his excuse, this weekend his friends have asked him on a night out on Friday we currently have no plans for Saturday and we have another family birthday on the Sunday. So it just continues!

He says he doesn't "need" it so therefore it's not a problem.
I think a counsellor could tell me if it's me or him or both who have problems? Then we could deal with issues practically (hopefully) but at the moment everything I say he takes the wrong way and vice versa.
I identified that the reasons I have for his drinking are because when he "indulges" I feel I should therefore I eat loads! Then I get fat an even more unhappy the cycle continues!
My other issue is money in that we don't have a great deal ATM and they way we work it gives him a lot more leisure money than I do I can't see any other way to work it though as he is a driving instructor and his earnings are very unreliable and also cash in hand in dribs and drabs not a full salary on a set day iyswim.

So perhaps if we can find a resolution to these issues I won't moan as much he won't drink to spite me and life will get better?

I have taken steps and worked out financially that I can afford the house without him just so I'm not quite so terrified if we do split up,
But I think his family who have all been really supportive of me have now realised how close we are to splitting and have all seemingly switched sides, from saying that he needs to tone it down a bit to saying its really not a problem/not that much and "remember he's working all week" the last one was his mother. I work all fucking week too I just don't get paid for it
I am starting to wonder if I have depression I have been unusually down since I fell pregnant with Mhairi and since giving birth to her I would say I've been using food as a crutch and I find I can't stop myself so I can now sort of empathise how he feels re addictions but I can't even keep myself in check on the weekdays so I feel like I'm now worse than he is sad
I just keep thinking I'm only 26 and life should not be this miserable.

Sorry for bringing the thread down ladies I keep rambling once I'm started.

MrsHende Thu 12-Jul-12 14:46:33

Grey, please don't apologise for posting, that's what we're here for.

Everything you're saying makes sense to me. I wish I had some constructive advice. I'm glad you've had a look at your finances and know that you'd manage without your DH living with you. You can make decisions from a calmer standpoint now.

I guess you need to work out how you'd feel without him - long term. Relieved or lost?

I understand why you're comparing your food habits with his drinking ones. Have you spoken to him about this, empathised about how difficult it is to deal with an addiction? Could you try to help each other? Ask for his help to eat in a way you want to? It might make you feel like a team working together rather than pulling apart?

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Thu 12-Jul-12 15:24:52

mrsH thanks that makes a lot of sense I've always hidden how much I eat from him as it disgusts me and I fear he would use it as ammunition whenever I bring up his drinking. He still maintains though that his drinking isnt an addiction whereas he accepts that the cannabis is/was so he would now say he managed to stop whereas I havent. Our relationship has always been a power struggle and a lot of that is down to me as I have always seen men walk all over my mum (even now) and I've always said ill never allow a man to do that to me so I immediately get my back up anytime a man challenges me.

We're obviously both a screwed up pair lol

sassy34264 Thu 12-Jul-12 15:27:27

grey i could dissect everything you just posted- you give a reason for your eating- where's his reason for drinking? you should have replied 'oh sorry, i din't realise i sat on my arse all week' etc to his mother- but it would just be like my friend and her husband. he had an excuse for his ways and she had reasons for wanting it different. it boils down to incompatability.

im quite shock at him drinking that much and being a driving instructor! hoping he's not over the limit and risking not only some innocents life, but the family income. hmm

i read somewhere that depression is anger turned in. it resonates with me. i know where my depression has come from, and it ain't the kids! i hope you come to a solution thats best for you soon. x

MamaMaiasaura Thu 12-Jul-12 15:30:31

I take it all back. My mum has helped dh today as I have been floored literally by d&v. Was s ary this morning as ds1 went to school and dh at work very early. I'm almost passed out and grey on kitchen floor. Finally got hold of dh who came home and my mum drove the 45i min drive as dh had to go back in work to get stuff. Been in bed all day and not wanting to move incase i am sick. Both ends at same time sad. Going to rest more now, managed to bfeed dd twice without being sick on her. confused

Scheherezade Thu 12-Jul-12 15:35:32

<pops in>

My HV says 2/3 eggs a week, nothing to do with allergy, apparently its because they're high in cholesterol?

grey sorry things are bad for you again, I don't have any advice in afraid just thinking of you x

Re weight and eating, I eat a lot of crap too and often don't get a proper lunch for me. I've lost pretty much all my baby weight (but my hips really moved in pregnancy so I've got ridiculously wide hips now) The worst bit is my tummy, it still flabby and podgy I really need to start toning it back up.

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Thu 12-Jul-12 15:43:09

Re eggs I'm sure I read somewhere that more than 2-3 eggs a week in young boys can affect their spern or something but I might have just dreamed that

X posts mama poor you, how horrible hope you feel better soon x

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Thu 12-Jul-12 15:50:58

Ignore my last post just google and think I did dream that up confused
mama sorry you're feeling so terrible hope your better soon ((hugs))

Thanks strawberry

Scheherezade Thu 12-Jul-12 15:51:23

Re; eating- a wobbly fatty over here too. I hardly fit any of my pre preg clothes.

grey I couldn't add anything to sassys brilliant advice, except to say that aside from psychological/relationship issues, that much alcohol regularly is v. bad for his health, and it doesn't matter how often or long he works, the same amount is hitting his liver. Has he had a liver function test?

I know it sounds blunt, but its a good job you've worked out you can support yourself without him, because if he gets liver cirrhosis or cancer, or any other alcohol related disease, he's not going to be there for you and DCs, which is v.selfish. He has to look after his health as a responsibility to you all.

My DP doesn't drink at all, because of how disgusting he finds people MIL when drunk. I have a bottle of wine split over 2 days once a week, or once a fortnight.

Oh, that reminds me! I was 23 when fell pg with C. Drinking was the cause ;) seriously, the ONE time we didn't use protection.....

Scheherezade Thu 12-Jul-12 15:53:11

grey are you thinking of oily fish and little girls? There's a limit on that, think its either 2 or 4

sassy34264 Thu 12-Jul-12 15:57:56

scheh although that is a another good way to argue against drinking (i didnt think of that) dp has an auntie who is a full on alcoholic. i could tell some stories! she was hospitalised this year cos she drank that much, and her liver function came back normal! we were all shock

not to make light of it as such...........but,

when we go out with her, she drinks less than us!

i like to think that thats cos shes topping up, whereas we're just getting started, iyswim?

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Thu 12-Jul-12 16:02:54

I'd be interested to see him do a liver function test.
When I say I could afford to live without him that is based on him paying £200-£300 per month maintainance for the kids so not really without him if however he died te mortgage would be paid off so wouldn't need the maintainance lol

now feels like such a bitch for making a joke of DH dying

Scheherezade Thu 12-Jul-12 16:14:14

Ah, see a good friend of mine was given 6m to live when we were 19. Fell out of contact, but he's still alive, so I presume he toned it down...

Scheherezade Thu 12-Jul-12 16:16:29

I have a lot of anxiety over everything health, since having C so impact on health is always my first thought blush

BB3 Thu 12-Jul-12 17:13:58

MrsGrey - I have no words of wisdom, my only concern is that he is slowly going against his initial word. No drinking, then some drinking, now not an addiction so it's all ok. Fundamentally you feel uncomfortable about the level of his drinkking so therefore in my view it\s a problem (and not with you).

Sassy - I think you are blind. I have 2.5 stone to lose to get back to my pre Karahan days/ I don't think that is going to happen any time soon!

mama - feel better soon. He needs op because the recent one didn't work

sassy34264 Thu 12-Jul-12 17:34:24

mamma i did post earlier about you but dt's knocked it off before i pressed post. just to say hope you feel better soon.

im feeling increasingly dreadful. i think know i have a chest infection. last time i had one i was 15!
cant get an appointment now, should i go out of hours in a bit- but means traipsing all 4 kids as dp in an hotel tonight or wait till tomorrow morning and phone my docs? tomorrow is better, but im thinking i need anti bios asap to stop risks to dcs and it gets a lot more painful the more it takes hold- although i was only 15, it might not have been as painful as i remember. rambling now!!

bb3 i am very blind! without glasses. ive yet to meet a glasses wearer with as strong as a lense. wink

Scheherezade Thu 12-Jul-12 17:53:13

sassy is there someone who can mind the kids whilst you pop out?

Overreactionoftheweek Thu 12-Jul-12 18:04:46

sassy oooh I bet mine are as strong if not stronger! I get my eye tests for free I'm that blind <weirdest thing to compete over ever> grin

H has had a temp and been throwing up the last two days, the poor thing has been miserable. He seems to finally be past it thank god. As such, I haven't kept up with this thread at all so far.

Hope all the ill people feel better soon

sassy34264 Thu 12-Jul-12 18:53:02

scheh yes, next door neighbour who looked after kids when i went docs for eva the other day- except shes the one who has given me the chest infection! grrr

so no.

over grin im not sure what i am -8 comes to mind with an astigmatism! i pay for the ultra thin lense cos id be wearing jam jars! sorry about h, glad he's improving.

lovinbeingmum Thu 12-Jul-12 20:09:41

crazy day here. just caught up with the thread quickly mama sassy take care both of you.....

...oh and caught up with the thread over a huge piece of cake....didn't gel with all the weight discussions wink it's kind of funny; my weight has come back to pre-pregnancy levels but I still have a tummy which looks six months pregnant..not really sure what to do about that.

ClimbingPenguin Thu 12-Jul-12 20:21:26

I've had three bags of 5 donuts this week however <whispers> I still weigh less than I ever have and still losing a little bit

<runs away>

<pops back to give hugs to *Grey and mama*>

sassy that resonates with me as well (plus some get well hugs to you as well regardless of whether you take then). I had the HV round today who is going to try and sort out some counselling for me.

ooh big bit of news, I have been discharged from the physio with clear instructions to start running, well walking to start with and take up slowly from there to avoid stressing things too much.

sassy34264 Thu 12-Jul-12 20:40:15

penguin sad that you recognise it too. but smile about the discharge from the physio.

ive not gone to the docs. will ring at 8.30 tomorrow.

had a bath, which was slightly ruined by dd1 deciding to have a strop and wake eva up. so my night to myself is also ruined as eva is here with me. im gonna have to make a bottle now i suppose sigh.

anyone want a little witch 11 year old girl?

lovinbeingmum Thu 12-Jul-12 20:49:12

had to come back from bed but I just had to write this grey i'm new here and you don't know me and i hope you don't think i'm intruding but reading your posts the one thing that struck me was there are so many things happening in your life all at the same time! pregnancy, new baby, cannabis addiction (DPs), stopping that addiction, heavy drinking (DPs), depression.....it would overwhelm anyone....really feeling for you.

Please don't think I am pro-drinking but just speaking from relation terms - there are times when all we can focus on is the negative in a relation. at least that has happened to me at times - i'll tend to see only the negative. unfortunately my mum gets the brunt of it most times :/ those times do end. but getting through them can be tough. and at those times it's very hard to see the positives in the person or the good things they have done or are doing. i write them down. if you think depression is getting to you, believe me, as self-helpish as this sounds, writing the positives and the good things around really helps....

....plus on the drinking, if he's just got over one addiction, he must be struggling as well. can't drinking be gradually reduced one drink at a time or doesn't it work that way....seriously ignorant

Overreactionoftheweek Thu 12-Jul-12 21:03:46

grey sorry to hear you're having a shit time, lots of great advice on here for you, hope it can help.

As for the weight thing...well I had a 3 hour walk earlier but then ate a dirty KFC blush I also still look hugely pregnant. Have started doing the 30 day shred, done 2 days so far, missed today after H had us up at 1am puking on everything, poor baby.

sassy I win! No one ever beats me at short sightedness grin in glasses, my left eye is -10 shock and right eye is -9.5. I've stayed at that prescription for a couple of years now thankfully, not sure they make lenses much beyond that!

Scheherezade Thu 12-Jul-12 21:07:27

Ooh I thought C was older than that sassy she looks teenager in photos! How is the venlafaxine going?

Fx your HV finds something cp

lovin makes a really good point smile

Apparently my mh team used me as a case example at a conference recently! Doc is going to send me the slides confused

ipswichwitch Thu 12-Jul-12 21:25:12

over I hope H is better soon, we're still getting puke stains out the carpet here! And get well soon mama and sassy
I'll have a look at the launch pad thing, anything that makes mornings easier can only be a good thing, I get up at 6 as it is and tbh am barely coping with work 5 days a week and a non-sleeping baby. Something has to change of I will have a breakdown, so having a chat with the boss tomorrow.
bb sorry the first op didn't work, any idea when the next one will be? Hope he's ok
Sorry things aren't going too well grey. I agree with lovin in that it is very difficult to deal with more than one addiction at once. I see many patients who quit smoking, pile on weight and try to diet at the same time and they are almost always the ones who relapse. The difficulty is always getting them to see they have a problem to start with. Hope things get better for you soon

sassy34264 Thu 12-Jul-12 21:30:30

scheh famous or notorious? grin

she thinks shes 21! she sneaked out with make up on tues. MY BLOODY MAKE UP- MY ONLY JUST BOUGHT IT, BRAND NEW, I HAVE BUGGER ALL, MAKE UP. ARGH.

and breathe.

erm- i dont know you tell me?! hehehe.

actually, it wasnt going well, i have lots of side effects- aggression, <dp says im nastier> im noticeably drugged up, my brain is even more foggier, instead of worrying about the house being a state, i now dont care hmm im finding it difficult to get up in the morning- whereas i didnt before, ive had a suicidal thought (which the doc said wasnt really the kind of one he was concerned about confused ) AND (the worst side affect of all) the drug is one given to anorexics to stimulate appetite- god ive eaten loads- hence why i stayed out of the food discussion.

its one good side effect is it makes you fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

bet you wish you hadnt asked! wink

doc says it will bed down soon (it feels better today, done quite a bit of housework) but i can stop and go back for a different type at any point.

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Thu 12-Jul-12 21:31:08

Thanks LBM that makes a lot of sense and I do think I do that some days more than others, so on a good day I feel really happy and can see everything DH does on a bad day all I can see is drinking and irritating me some way or other I just dont know how the cycle of a bad day starts if it's me who's already in a bad mood and sees him as irritating the no moan at him then he drinks or if it's that I know he'll want to drink as its the weekend that puts me in a mood confused I'm hoping the counselling can help with that.

We are now going to have to work money differently I've just worked out that after paying my half of bills and my own petrol for the month I have £2 dispensable income shock genuinely didn't realise I was that skint am properly depressed now!

Penelope1980 Thu 12-Jul-12 21:53:54

grey sorry to hear about your DH drinking too much. It's hard to define excess drinking when everyone's doing it or there are always events on. My rule of thumb based on nothing but observation so probably not worth much is it depends on how your DH/anyone else copes when for whatever reason they can't drink. i.e. if he is the sober driver, or on antibiotics, or whatever other reason. I have people in my family and friends who drink wayyy too much but some of them are still OK if they can't drink in a situation when everyone else does, whereas about three or four friends (who I suspect have problems) will not have a good time at all if they've stayed sober.

sassy34264 Thu 12-Jul-12 22:04:25

i dont know what everyone does and it is a personal choice, but i dont agree with paying half of the bills, if you earn less money.

i think a fairer way is to take the two incomes, and see what percentage the smaller income is to the larger income. so for example if the smaller income is only 30% of the larger, than you pay 30% of every bill. the person with the larger income still has a larger disposable income, but the smaller income has a better disposable income too iyswim.

i know the ultimate share, should be all the money in the pot, bills taken out and then the money thats left gets split equally, but some, myself included, like to keep my money separate. it is an indivdual relationship preference.

i dont have a joint account with dp. he puts money into my account and i get cb. i dont use it to pay any bills as such, but i will buy food from the corner shop, pay for clothes, and sometimes things for the house. most of the time i let it build up and then end up paying for something big- like the back yard, being turned into a garden.

ClimbingPenguin Thu 12-Jul-12 22:11:40

I did sassy's way in start of relationships but once married we were 50:50. Bills all out of one joint account, them amounts transferred/left into personal accounts (one each) and savings (at least one each in sole name). Naturally the past few years only one of us has been working and we don't have enough money for savings, but the same principle applies. We then have a separate budget to pay for children's things so that it doesn't come out of the SAHP's allocation.

In reality atm, we don't have enough money to really buy personal things, it is normally just household stuff split into different person's budgets and our personal money after a week or so in the month tends to get amalagated. Any time we have had extra in we've discussed what to do with it.

I got DS to sleep in his cot today, however I completely and utterly cheated by climbing into the cot with him and laid there until he was off grin We are moving into unswaddled terrority but into mostly co-sleeping to start with.

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Thu 12-Jul-12 22:28:02

that's what we were working out sassy DH has said that he'll give me half his leftover money at the end of the week, and he's gonna set up a website and get advertising on google to get his hours up grin
Am looking forward to may 2014 though when we'll be £460 per month better off as cars will be paid off, not coming quick enough!

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Thu 12-Jul-12 22:32:29

According to the government, you should beable to survive on £70 a week hmmconfused
Just a wee fact for you there!! grin

sassy34264 Thu 12-Jul-12 22:45:26

penguin i would have 2 problems climbing into a dc's cot, 1, the would be no room for dc, 2, cot would break.

you must be teeny tiny! grin

fuzzy you need to have more kids, get a couple diagnosed with adhd and claim refugee status (any problems in scotland you can claim to be running from?) and you'd be on a lot more. smile

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Thu 12-Jul-12 22:56:07

I thought the same as sassy penguin grin. Not a chance I'm fitting in S cot!!

Erm, no problems here sassy. Flipping joke, £70 a wk! I almost never got anything as I have a mortgage!! I had to argue my case confused

MyManIsNowChristianGrey Fri 13-Jul-12 02:30:35

penguin me and DH have both done that in Christopher's cot (not both at the same time though. But then C has a massive cot that's super sturdy and cost a bloody fortune his new bed is apparently out of stock though so he is still sleeping in it now, he'll have one more week as a little baby before he gets a big boy bed grin

fuzzzy £70 a week shock that's crazy how can anyone live in that and pay for everything you need to.

sassy and mama hope your feeling better this morning

Scheherezade Fri 13-Jul-12 07:46:48

fuzzzy £70 for everything? Is there not extra for rent/mortgage, council tax? When I was unemployed I got HB and council tax benefit. At the back of my pregnancy book there was a big list of all the benefits available, it seemed it didn't matter what your income was, you had to be unemployed to get them (sure start grant, healthy start grant, CTC...).

About half DPs wage goes on (private) rent, so that's 2 adults and a child on less 18k a year (roughly). Because they've raised the threshold we can't get WTC. We'd actually be better off on a lower income, or if we split!

Penelope1980 Fri 13-Jul-12 07:58:19

Sassy I tend to agree re $$$ - although we pool all our money and each pay get some money of our own, and it's the same amount for both of us regardless of what we earn. We call it "non accountable money" which is a fab system as that way I don't worry if DH comes home one day with 5 CDs as it wasn't from our joint pot of money and I can spend all my money on coke zero and books and he can't complain

Scheherezade Fri 13-Jul-12 08:41:00

Sorry that wasn't a competition blush just commiserating with how crappy finances are!

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Fri 13-Jul-12 08:54:07

sch i don't get housing benefit cause of mortgage but I do get something towards the interest but i think it's less than £10 a month and goes straight to lender so my monthly payments aren't any cheaper. Still waiting to hear about council tax but they told me it can take up to 8 weeks! My council were coming down hard on it as lots of people were claiming wrongly. Even with that, I still have electricity, car insurance, food, petrol etc so still fucked sad

CheshireDing Fri 13-Jul-12 08:55:27

When I can escape the toilet I will come back properly but though you might like this for a laugh…

I posted the following yesterday, supposedly on this thread:-
"I too have felt really dizzy and faint today and have a poo bum. Don't know what's going on feel really ill", need to go and read back and posts properly"

To which someone wrote under:-
"Cheshire, think you may have posted on the wrong thread, sorry about your poo bum though"

I had posted in AIBU. Oh the shame grin

CheshireDing Fri 13-Jul-12 09:01:20

Mama she loved the Mange Tout, it was quite good on her gums too because they were quite cold out of the fridge.

Penguin how come you are seeing a councillor? (sorry if I am being nosey, it's fine not to answer), think I must have missed something as I missed a whole bunch of stuff off the last thread.

BB3 sorry about K and that the outcome was not as successful so far. You really must be drained at the moment, have you started trying to set your business up too, or are you putting it on hold for now?

Hope you start feeling better today Sassy.

I do wonder if it is partly an accumulation of the last 9 months (plus the pregnancies) catching up with everyone and they are more susceptible to things right now because everyone is so knackered. Obviously I appreciate this is not the case with some things.

Fuzzzy have you got a new job as a Nanny then? I think it's the petrol which kills me, it's so expensive these days.

Overreactionoftheweek Fri 13-Jul-12 09:10:38

Cheshire I shouldn't really be giggling at your poo bum but that did make me laugh!

H is finally back to his healthy, happy self thank god.

Get well soon everyone

CheshireDing Fri 13-Jul-12 09:43:15

Strawberry could you try eggy bread?

Penguin how have you given the other nuts? P has had pine nuts etc in curry but I might crush some of the others up then and put then in top of some food now and again for her. I think I thought you had to wait until 12 months for peanuts (not sure why I thought that though)

Lovin how did the meals go yesterday? TBH P doesn’t eat a lot of breakfast and she has to have it really late to be even slightly interested – 10am/11am which we are often out by then so it’s difficult. The most she eats is her evening meal, she has a few bits around 3pm-ish which she is quite enthusiastic about. I presume that is why looking at the meal times at nursery they eat every couple of hours, so it doesn’t really matter if they are not interested because they will be so more food in 2 hours! If she doesn’t want something though I just give it to the dog, rather than what I used to get told “it will be there for your dinner tonight etc” yuck!

I like Zulily and Olive & Moss too – but will have to wait til I have some income to buy her some of their lovely t shirts and fleeces for next winter.

How was Infant School Mama?

Who’s baby was saying Barbara in B&Q? I would have loved to hear that. grin

A Counsellor sounds like a good idea Grey, does DH realise this truly is Last Chance?

Eggy bread is a good idea cheshire thanks, will try it next time I get some eggs. Hope your feeling a bit better now your poo bum in AIBU did make me laugh though smile

MamaMaiasaura Fri 13-Jul-12 09:58:19

Cheshire made me smile with poo bum. How are you now?

I didn't know which end needed loo more yesterday, it was awful, ended up with one of those toddler stools to teach the sink tipped up and being sick and poo bum on loo, J crying her heart out with ds2 at which point dh came home. He was a star, took over looking after kids completely and then mum came and helped as dh had important meetings he had to attend online. Spent most of day in bed or on loo. Managed 2 jelly babies and 2 boiled sweet, still feel rough but much better than I was.

Dh Took ds2 to infants yesterday and went well, apparantly preschool is now boring hmmsmile

J had follow up at drs and they've taken another Swab and more ear drops.

Bb3 sorry K's op wasnt successful sad have you got a date for the next one?

MamaMaiasaura Fri 13-Jul-12 10:00:40

Re money, dh pays some money into account for clothes, activities, all Xmas and birthday, fuel etc for all children and me. He also pays the bills, mortgage etc.

Scheherezade Fri 13-Jul-12 11:03:28

That's horrible mama hope you're better soon. Are DCs affected?

Cheshire I promise I didn't giggle at your poo bum.... But hope you're better soon aswell!

fuzzzy that's terrible sad can you get a lodger to help with mortgage?

Feeling awful for my dog, C loves him as much as me and dp! But means that now he's crawling he's after him constantly. The dog (Thomas) is so so good and patient with him, but 1) poor thing is always having to run away with C hot on his heels and 2) dogs can snap, even our pathetically desperate pile of cuddles.

Finance- I'm just living off my savings, CB and whatever I can sell on eBay. Dp pays all bills. I try not to buy much as we need to declutter anyway.

ipswichwitch Fri 13-Jul-12 11:34:59

smile cheshire your poo bum had cheered me up! Are you feeling better and more importantly got over the shame yet?? It was N shouting Barbara in B and Q, no idea who barbara is, and almost accused DP of having another woman grin

lovinbeingmum Fri 13-Jul-12 13:30:25

mama that's sounds bad!...don't forget to keep up the fluid intake...

sassy cheshire hope you're feeling better....

fuzzzy £70!! you're kidding!

..also cheshire you may be right about the breakfast timing. he wakes up at 5:30 for his milk (yes you heard me right!) and it's generally 5-6 ounces so I thought breakfast at 8:30 should be fine. guess not (although it used to be fine a few weeks back)

...anyway food yesterday..i tried every trick in the book...breakfast options were porridge, french toast and banana with blueberry (not together of course). porridge was rejected outright. french toast consumption was 1/18th of a slice of bread, and then half a banana..well at least a banana, i consoled myself. lunch went well, a bowl of lentils with veggies. and then tea, oh god, tea! cereal rejected. toast with cream cheese rejected. sardines with cream cheese rejected. just cream cheese two spoons. mango rejected. by the end of all this he was crying of hunger but he just wouldn't eat what i was offering. he had already had a yoghurt and fromage frais during the day but had to give him another....

ditto today. except fish pie for lunch was also rejected. he finally gobbled up ella's lamb roast. god bless Ella.....

do i sound like a food obsessed mum...sorry...

...not letting myself worry because as so many more experienced mums on this thread have said....he'll eat when he's hungry...and see the intake over the week...i keep telling myself that...plus i'm going to go stock up on ella's kitchen packets...give the l'il man what he wants for the moment smile

MamaMaiasaura Fri 13-Jul-12 13:51:43

Thanks for get well wishes. Dc all fine (fx) I ate small lunch, wish I hadn't sad. Starwars movie on with ds2 engrossed and I'm feeding J in bed.

lovin I may join you in being food obsessed. Had W weighed at a hospital appointment the other day just got round to noting it in his red book and have discovered that he apparently hasn't gained any weight at all in the last month!

MrsHende Fri 13-Jul-12 15:09:05

Get well mama, cheshire and sassy!

And to whoever it was who said they usually have 5 dirty nappies a day - FIVE? Good grief! What a great system your child has grin!

Someone mentioned a lotion or potion that was good for chicken pox rash, I've scanned but can't find it - can you remind me what it was called? Mum's neighbour's daughter has the dreaded pox and is suffering a bit.

Fuzzzy and Grey, and anyone else who's finding things tight financially, I'm feeling your pain. sad

Teething bubba here - drool, bubbles, red cheeks and awake, screaming, at 5.45am. Come on teeth, let's be having you!!!

MamaMaiasaura Fri 13-Jul-12 15:10:15

It's "virasoothe" annuity pricey but good x

MamaMaiasaura Fri 13-Jul-12 15:11:38
MrsHende Fri 13-Jul-12 15:26:50

Magic, ta!

lovinbeingmum Fri 13-Jul-12 17:22:23

strawberry exactly the same here. no weight gain in the last month sad

lots of dirty diapers over the last two days. not sure if there's something wrong.

a question - as you may have guessed from all the stuff rejected how much food is getting thrown in our house (there's no dog). over the last week when he doesn't eat his yoghurt, i just put it back in the fridge and give it to him at the next meal, in another 2-3 hours. is that wrong? should i be throwing it away? wondering if that has given him an upset tummy...

MrsHende Fri 13-Jul-12 17:35:37

I don't think that's a problem at all lovin.

Just when we're finding our feet the little loves find something else to stress us about don't they!

emmazed Fri 13-Jul-12 18:00:29

loving I decant his yoghurt into a little dish a bit at at a time and the pot goes in the fridge (no more than 3 days for a pot). I eat anything, as I have a cast iron tum, but I am extra careful with joseph as I imagine he is more likely to be sensitive. . I may be over cautious tho. It is annoying to throw stuff away, I have been known to eat bits of his leftovers <hangs head in shame>

cheshire sorry you are ill, but your post in aibu made me laugh! You must have been unwell to risk posting in there!

Talking of money, I am meeting with my boss on mon to talk about my possible return. Fingers X I actually have a job to go back to, no guarantees.... Otherwise I need to get the cv updated.

MamaMaiasaura Fri 13-Jul-12 18:09:44

The babies weight gain will change as they are physically active and burn off a lot.

BikeRunSki Fri 13-Jul-12 18:13:01

In this house - another C - chicken pox. DS first ( he is 3) now 8 month old DD. She is utterly miserable. Virasoothe, mentioned above, is good, but Poxcillin mousse better. It is £10 though, but has done two cases of CP.

CheshireDing Fri 13-Jul-12 18:44:41

I wish we had some figs in the house, now P is constipated and I guess that's what is waking her up. It's one extreme or theother here!

Scheherezade Fri 13-Jul-12 20:13:01

Have I missed a NC? Who is bikerunski? I can't keep up with the nc.

I was just wondering the same thing scheh <waves at bikerun hi are you a nc or are you new? Welcome if it's the second and blush if I've just missed you before>

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Fri 13-Jul-12 22:01:27

Hi all! Head like mush so will post but can't remember named blush

No, not got new job yet sad. Had a week of full time nannying just helping out a friend. I had to take S with me and it was bloody hard work. I'm utterly gubbed right now. Was almost asleep on bed with S when I was givin her her milk at 7pm! I'm just about to make her bottle for the morning then I'm going to bed.

Yes the money situation is baaaad right now. Normally whenever I've hit problems financially, iv borrowed from my dad blush but I haven't asked him for a single penny yet. I know he would never see me or S go hungry etc but it's like I want to prove I can manage. I think it all goes back to when I broke the news that I was preg. As me and her 'dad' were no longer together, my dad thought me continuing with preg was the worst idea ever. He was actually furious with me and told me he wanted to be no part of this, didn't have my blessing/support etc then never spoke to me for a month... sad. At one point he couldn't even look at me. I went over to their house, walked in and he didn't even acknowledge that I'd entered the room! He went on about how I'd never beable to cope money wise and I wasn't to go crying to him when things went tits up. God, I make him sound like a beast. He really really isn't. Think it was just a shock. He absolutely dotes on S and would never wish she wasn't here now. I have a biggish flat (3 double sized bedrooms) but I don't want a lodger living here. I just feel like this is our space. If things did get really bad, I'd move back to my parents and try rent out my flat. As I say though, things are bad, but I'm managing. Just have to be sensible about it all. Tryin not to go wasted journeys in car, meal planning etc. I've sold a few things on eBay but not of much value really. I don't even have savings to fall back onto. I literally live day by day every month. Still have a little bit of debt that is slowly being cleared. Once that has, then I'll start saving.
Sorry, another moan blush

mama, cheshire and anyone else who's feeling crap, hope it's over soon.

It's true, it's almost like a 9 month 'slump'. I feel like each day is just merging into the next with no excitement. I feel so jealous of my friends who are living for the moment, booking last minute holidays abroad, weekends away etc. I feel like my day consists of cleaning, cooking, feeding and now trying to stop S climbing on everything!! Hope the pnd isn't creeping back confused

Sorry for me post. I honestly do read everyone's posts, just when it comes to replying, it's all gone out my head!

Scheherezade Fri 13-Jul-12 22:23:43

Oh fuzzzy you're so lovely its just not fair sad just how useless is S's dad, is he giving child support? Is the car an absolute must, could that go?

This thread has had me chuckling www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1517038--to-not-eat?addwatch=1

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Fri 13-Jul-12 22:41:23

sch he's seen her twice now in her almost 10 months on this planet, last time being start of November.... He pays nothing towards her but tbh, I don't want a penny from him. As he clearly has no interest in her, I feel like if he did offer anything, it wouldnt be for the right reasons. I was thinking before, I will be proper upset if he doesn't even remember her 1st birthday. And the really sad fact, I don't think he will sad.
I need the car though. I'm a bit out the way where I am, bus service is shit so really couldn't do without it. I'm fortunate though as my car is bought thanks dad so no payments there, insurance and tax aren't toooo expensive and since being out of work and havin to cut back, I've cut down my petrol to which is good.
But thanks though smile. It's nice to have you all to speak to without the worry of being judged. I know some people are in same position or even worse off. I count my blessings that we are both healthy and happy smile

Another wee random fact, when I passed my test 8/9 years ago, petrol was 89p a litre. £20 would last me a month!!! Now I'm lucky at times to make that last 5 days!!!

Scheherezade Fri 13-Jul-12 22:48:33

God no will you ever be judged, times are hard for everyone. If it were me though, I'd be after him for all I could get, but thats just because of my history with my dad (long story).

I don't drive, we just couldn't afford for me to learn, or run a second car.

ClimbingPenguin Fri 13-Jul-12 22:50:52

I'm glad my dad didn't pay maintenance

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Fri 13-Jul-12 22:55:52

sch I did think that for a while, but I didn't want it to turn into a 'well I pay u X amount so I want her every other weekend' sorta thing. He clearly has no clue so I wouldn't have any trust handing her over. God, if you couldve heard his chat when we first were coming to grips with all this. 'yeah, I'll put X into your bank every month, set up a bank account in her name, change my spare room into a nursery for when she comes to stay' hmm

penguin do you mind me asking why?

ClimbingPenguin Fri 13-Jul-12 22:59:48

I got in contact with him around 16 but it was a odd relationship. I then chose to stop contact even though I know he would have wanted to carry on. If he had have paid money then maybe I would have felt more obliged to see him. As it was I decided he was weak and pathetic and walked away.

I know my mum at one point did seek some money and he denied I was his but she did do her best to just paint as a young naive person rather than someone to hate. I came to my conclusions all by myself and I gave him a fair chance, it was him who couldn't move on from the past. Sorry just rambling there but hope some of it makes sense.

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Fri 13-Jul-12 23:07:15

Not rambling smile. He has never denied she is his. In fairness, she is his double and he would have a tough time trying to convince anyone of that!
I just hope S grows up not hating or resenting me that he wasn't in her life from the start. I know in the grand scheme of things, it's still early days, but I feel the whole relationship and trust I had in him is now gone and it will never get back to where it was. I feel more sad for S that she has to grow up without a dad

ClimbingPenguin Fri 13-Jul-12 23:08:53

he didn't either, until new wife and kids came along. Even his whole family accepted I was his. There is still loads of time for her to have good male role models and that is better than a bad example of a father.

MamaMaiasaura Fri 13-Jul-12 23:09:20

fuzzy them were the days eh? Can't believe how much petrol is now, dh reckons its going up again cos of strike in Norway (he works in petrochemical). sad. No judging here, actually I admire how you manage and think you are doing an amazing job and that she'll so look up to you. smile. Sorry it's so shite for you at the moment moneywise.

MamaMaiasaura Fri 13-Jul-12 23:10:47

But S will have her doting GD for male figure, and you never know what or who is around the corner. X

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Fri 13-Jul-12 23:12:00

Thanks mama smile

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Fri 13-Jul-12 23:13:17

I know. She has all the family round her she needs smile

CheshireDing Sat 14-Jul-12 08:22:53

Morning all, awful night here - P was awake until 1am crying and I spent every 2 minutes going back to the toilet. If DH had gone away this weekend as intended words do not even describe what I would have been like this morning! Poor thing has walked the dog and let the chickens out this morning and then he has swimming with P. I don't care that the washing is still damp on the fabric settee because he has not moved it and did chuckle when I told him he shouldn't have left his toothbrush on the windowsill right BEHIND the toilet grin. I have told him loads in the past how far germs fly out of toilets and that there is a perfectly good cabinet for his toothbrush. God knows what gems are on the brush head now grin

Fuzzzy I too think you do an amazing job on your own. I know we have no choice so just get on with it but at least when P is doing my head in the middle of the night I can get DH to take over. Times like that I do think "how the heck does Fuzzzy manage it"

I do think that whoever brings a child up is the Parent, not just because someone is the biological one. Otherwise that would be listening adoptive Parents roles.

CheshireDing Sat 14-Jul-12 08:23:40

DH keeps trying to get P to say "Barbara" now smile

lovinbeingmum Sat 14-Jul-12 09:26:44

a friend sent me this article yesterday www.hugoschwyzer.net/2010/05/11/my-life-doesnt-revolve-around-you-a-note-of-gratitude-for-a-feminist-mom-reprinted/

fuzzzy the article may not be totally apt but just to say when one parent is great enough to be equal to three(!) who needs any other family...and well, you know how great a mom I think you are smile...and I guess one thing she will learn from you is that you don't let a man take you for granted or take you for a ride....no matter how tough the going gets....which is a very important lesson to pass on....

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Sat 14-Jul-12 09:40:01

Sorry everyone for the long moan last night. Think I was just so tired and emotional. Woke up this morning in a better frame of mind. Think to be honest I'm missing my parents being around! I seen them usually every other day or so as we live close by. Another week to go..... cheshire, lbm thank you for your kind words. It really does mean a lot when you hear someone telling you you are doing a good job. I look at you all on here and want to congratulate everyone. By the sounds of it, we are all doing a wonderful task of raising our brilliant babies (and other dc's!). Parenting is bloody tough but I just look at S and it makes me realise that it's all worth it smile

In other news, I've spent the morning lowering S cot to bottom level. Went in to get her up and she was standing up, in grobag and ontop of a teddy hanging over the bars shock. This little monkey is def a live wire!!!! So this should hopefully deter her for a while longer... confused

What's everyone's plans for the weekend? I was going to head into the Next sale but really can't be bothered getting showered/ready. Think we will both have a pj day, try gut this house a bit then relax tonight. Got all ingredients to make mamas banana loaf so with give that a go. S is charging about the house just now shouting 'hiya' at everything grin
cheshire hope your better soon. Sounds awful for you!

CheshireDing Sat 14-Jul-12 11:50:10

I think it was a perfectly valid moan Fuzzzy smile

My last sentence didn't even really make sense, I am brain fuddled. What I was trying to say was that your ex is biologically S's Dad but imo I don't think that matters because it is the person who brings up a child who is the Father. You're only young so loads of time to meet a lovely chap anyway who will be a great Father for S smile

Could you get a Nannying job out of your area where you are given accommodation and take S with you?

Penguin how did the presentation go?

ClimbingPenguin Sat 14-Jul-12 14:55:15

me or the other penguin?

I gave my presentation a while ago now. It went well and seemed like the panel liked the work I had done. Didn't get the job, but worked out the night before I didn't want the job so that was OK. Am applying for a job in a different town though which would involve moving (but we might be anyway as DH has a job interview in a place 90 mins from us on Monday). I think I do want the job but also want to be mentally ready at the same time. It's different starting a new job to going back to one, you need to apply yourself quite different, at least to start.

fuzzzy I agree with Cheshire it was a very valid moan. For what it's worth I really admire you and others in similar situations it's hard enough sometimes with two of us and you manage it all so well on your own. S won't miss her 'dad' either because she's never had him. What she does have is an amazing mum.

cheshire sorry you had a rubbish night, hope you feel better soon

Was just changing W's dirty nappy when he grapped a handful of poo off of his bum. Managed to grab his hand just before it got to his face. It's obviously karma for laughing at sassys twins poo experiments.

climbing must be you, I haven't given a presentation for years smile good luck for the upcoming interview.

Scheherezade Sat 14-Jul-12 17:24:40

<runs in>

New stage of BLW, C picks the food up, holds it out and shouts at us till we eat it, which he thinks is hilarious.

scheh thats brilliant grin

ClimbingPenguin Sat 14-Jul-12 21:50:31

oh, for the nuts I use nut butters (same as peanut butter basically). Holland and barret do a good range. I noticed sainsbury's sell almonds already ground up which you could sprinkle into breakfast etc. If you have a spice grinder then I guess you could do the same at home.

Scheherezade Sat 14-Jul-12 23:01:30

Apparently just taking it off him isn't enough, he shouts "bah duh bah duh bar!" till we eat it. Monster..!

CheshireDing Sun 15-Jul-12 02:07:55

P has been awake for the last 2 hours sad sad sad sad

The things that I dislike most about this are:-
1. How will I ever stop looking like a bag of old spanners and get rid of my dark circles? (superficial I know but it's 2am)
2. After deciding she is not hungry, because she wasn't asking, removing her gro bag, because she seemed warm, she had a poo so it shouldn't be that, assuming it's teeth so giving a powder I now conclude we are in the middle of a Wonder Week - which apparently this one could last a few weeks
3. When I pick her up she stops "crying" (there are no tears) but starts again as soon as she is put down so I could see no alternative but to put her down crying then keep going back in after a few minutes to pick her up, wait til she stops, then put her down again
4. I don't like letting her cry but I don't want to bring her in our bed as she has been in her own room since January but I hate her to be upset

I may be brave enough to leave our toilet facilities now and might need to go Next shopping tomorrow.

Yes, I did mean you Climbing, glad to hear there is somebody who seems to move house as often as we do smile Good luck for the interview.

Strawberry I fear there is just too much poo on this thread these days (myself included), it worries me what our worlds have come too grin

241 are you still out there? How is your sleep?

lovinbeingmum Sun 15-Jul-12 07:49:24

mama how're you feeling now

scheh loved it smile

cheshire ouch...of course, the dark circles match well with the drool stains on all clothes...went out to meet someone the other day not realizing my black dress had white patches on the shoulder :/

strawberry changing diapers these days has me wishing for three hands! there'll be a full diaper but of course he wants to 'play' with himself at the same time and can't understand why I keep pushing him away smile

fuzzzy how do you make her morning bottle at night???

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Sun 15-Jul-12 08:00:10

cheshire sad you must be exhausted!! Maybe teething is starting now? We are heading to next sale today to. Hope you find some bargains!!!

lbm I make it the night before then put straight in fridge. She is to impatient in the morning to wait while I make it confused. Saves a lot of time!

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Sun 15-Jul-12 08:01:35

and sch that's very cute!! smile

ipswichwitch Sun 15-Jul-12 08:27:20

cheshire I think we must be at the same wonder week. From going to bed at 7 last night N woke every half hr til 12 sad and he'd been calpolled, bonjellaed and teething powdered so couldn't possibly be in pain from that. Didn't seem to be a poo issue either (sorry!!) as he wasn't twisting and pulling knees to chest. By half 12 I gave up (knackered) and brought him to bad and the little devil slept til half 5!! Hope for both our sakes this don't go on for weeks!
Let me know how the Barbara-shouting training is going grin

fuzzzy for what it's worth I think you are doing a fantastic job. Like others have said, she has all she needs in terms of adoring family. I have a few friends who grew up without a dad in their lives and it hasn't made them resentful of mum at all, they know and understand the situation, and frankly said that if their dad can't be bothered with them, they aren't bothered with him. He will be the one missing out not your DD.

scheh that's great smile maybe you could call it PLW...., parent led weaning grin

LittlePebble Sun 15-Jul-12 09:36:52

Fell off the thread sad will try and catch up! X

Mamamaiasaura Sun 15-Jul-12 09:56:43

lbm lots better thanks smile

cheshire sad sorry tou had bad night

sassy34264 Sun 15-Jul-12 10:57:50

sorry, i have kept up with the reading- but mad busy to post on individual posts. blush

just wanted to run in and wish mama happy birthday.

hope you are spoiling yourself- as dh isnt there. have a fab day. x

Mamamaiasaura Sun 15-Jul-12 11:04:10

Thanks sassy he leaves at 2.15 today. Ds2 will be very sad. Feeding j in bed hence mnet grin. Lovely morning and lots of card and pressies. Birthday tea for lunch which ds2 and dh are doing now. How the hell do I manage bedtime later? Tips welcome grin

ClimbingPenguin Sun 15-Jul-12 13:11:52

by drastically lowering standards grin

happy birthday

I've got tomorrow night on my own

emmazed Sun 15-Jul-12 13:13:01

Happy birthday mama enjoy your tea. No tips I am afraid, just the thought of some choccies later!

LittlePebble Sun 15-Jul-12 13:57:41

Happy birthday mama x

Mamamaiasaura Sun 15-Jul-12 14:32:35

Thank you grin birthday tea was scrummy and home made cake too! He's gone sad I'm feeding J. Ds2 cried (and do did I). It's only 2 frigging nights! Just first time since J.

Great advice, I will lower standards...

Happy birthday mama cake sounds yummy.

ipswichwitch Sun 15-Jul-12 16:56:44

Enjoy your day mama, I agree with the others- lower standards and eat more cake (maybe bribe DC with cake?....)

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Sun 15-Jul-12 17:17:25

Mama, I made your banana loaf yesterday and pleased to report that it's went down a treat grin so much so, me and S have nearly ate the lot!

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Sun 15-Jul-12 18:42:29

I think I can finally see a tooth grin

Mamamaiasaura Sun 15-Jul-12 19:40:12

Fuzzy grin for tooth. Glad banana loaf went down well smile

CheshireDing Sun 15-Jul-12 19:52:34

Happy Birthday Mama, hope bedtime is going well smile. DH was away last weekend, first time since P born sad Not long til Tuesday though.

Fuzzzy did you go to Next?

Barbara training sounds more like Abab tbh!

Good luck for tomorrow night Penguin.

I wish myself good luck tonight, after the last 2!!

Pebble there's probably been too much chatter to read back grin

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Sun 15-Jul-12 20:01:21

How's bedtime going mama?
cheshire yeah I went. Think I was to late though and the shop was just about empty!!! There was loads of 3-6, 6-9 things. Did get her 1 top and a pack of tights smile. Did you get anything?

For those of you with older children, when did you buy them a proper pair of shoes? Right now about the house, S just has her bare feet and if we are out, she has a soft pair of leather shoes like these
www.cheekymonkeyskids.co.uk/inch-blue-baby-girls-leather-shoes-mouse
but I'm now thinking that as she is up on her feet so much now I should maybe get her some pre walker shoes. I seen a pair in Clark's today for £15, was tempted but there was huge queue and I couldn't be bothered waiting. Obv when she is up and using walker etc, I want her feet to be supported. I have very flat feet, plays on my mind of its connected to not wearing proper shoes when younger. Just curious

ClimbingPenguin Sun 15-Jul-12 20:13:24

I have read that it is better to keep them bare foot. DD only had shoes on when walking outside, plus being small and a early walker meant she was 19 months before being big enough for more proper shoes (she was in 3-6 months when she started walking). I however couldn't point to any scientific sources.

Penelope1980 Sun 15-Jul-12 20:42:11

Our NHS equivalent did a series of free talks about infant podiatry, they told us that babies don't need shoes, that when they start walking it doesn't really matter what shoes they wear as they are more about stopping them from walking over stones etc, although once they stop walking with their feet down flat it's really important to get shoes with some flex in them to allow for a greater range of foot movement. It was a good talk. I tend to leave Atai barefoot where poss because I notice that he is more stable when standing up against things. But it's pretty cold here atm, so really ought to put him in socks more often!

I remember reading a bit in the Guardian about it as well, let me try and find it ...

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/aug/09/barefoot-best-for-children?INTCMP=SRCH

Hope you ladies are all well! It's a crappy, cold and wet winter morning here and I am about to head to work. Good times.

ClimbingPenguin Sun 15-Jul-12 21:08:52

I've did a 0.5 mile run tonight, plan to take things slowly and maybe get a general check up from a physio regarding my knee to stop me getting injuries there. Although can't afford a private session but a bit scared to go the doc's and ask for a referral however my other physio said just do it. <tells self to get a back bone>

DS has done the first half the night in his cot for three nights now and is more settled. Last week he was waking every hour at this part of the night, now we feel like we have some evening again smile

lookout Sun 15-Jul-12 21:42:52

Sorry for the absence. RL has been/is particularly busy atm. End of summer term annoys me, they have the whole year to do stuff, why does it all come now???

Sorry to not catch up properly.

CP excellent news about your nights! Long may it continue - it makes such a difference having a few hours back in the evening to MN.

Fuzzzy we got Clarks cruising shoes for ds1, but have since learnt they're better without, or soft shoes like your link for outside, so will do that for E.

Happy Birthday Mama. Cake sounds lovely, hope bedtime went ok! Two nights will hopefully fly by smile

Chesh how many weeks is P? We've just come out of a WW and we had nearly four weeks of disturbed nights shock. Was awful, but E feels so much more 'grown up' now. The night you described sounded almost exactly the same as a few of ours, I hope yours get better soon.

Talking of poo, E only did one as opposed to the usual five grin

And today at Waterbabies, I watched him 'swim' underwater for the first time. So cute. So so so cute!

lookout Sun 15-Jul-12 21:43:22

Ooh, and em how did the meal go? What did you cook in the end?

CheshireDing Mon 16-Jul-12 09:15:15

Fuzzzy just got P 6 bodygrows for bedtime as she has just about outgrown the mountain of ones she had and a little cardigan for £2.50, all on vouchers because she got loads when she was born smile

P only has a little pair of sandals for wearing when she has dresses on and it's too hot for socks but feet might get chilly in the sling etc. I am sure I read something about their foot being better left without until it's more moulded, otherwise shoes could make it potentially misshapen (don't know how true that is but kind of makes sense if you think about getting bunions).

Lookout she was born on 5th Oct, I think she is about 41 weeks (just coming in to WW but she seemed to do the others early).I don't care that DH doesn't believe in them, I do and it's the only thing keeping me going! She was waking last night from 1-4am every hour, sometimes even after 15 minutes!!!

Re shoes, I have a pair of sandals for when W is walking outside but most of the time he's just in socks.

Sorry you had another rubbish night cheshire

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Mon 16-Jul-12 09:50:28

Good to know about the shoes! As I say, she goes about the house in bare feet, and the little soft leather ones when we are out as its still chilly!! Will hold off then smile

cheshire how long has this been going on with P? S must be 42 weeks then, bad night here but not half as bad as yours so I can't complain. I'd given her an omelette for dinner with broccoli and a spoon of beans. Don't know if it was a bad combination as she was farting like a trooper!! confused. Does anyone else find this with eggs?

lovinbeingmum Mon 16-Jul-12 15:59:02

mama cheshire i'm alone this week too...DH away for the week sad

fuzzzy the fireworks may be thanks to the broccoli. i always feel cabbage, cauliflower and broccoli bring on the works...and you've even added beans! smile

Outnumbered4to1 Mon 16-Jul-12 18:17:18

Hi all, manage to drop off the thread again blush

Holiday was lovely except Leo and I got a nasty cold, both still suffering a bit. We had DH and my parents to take care of us though on the plus side. This weekend was the local folk festival, loads of fun. Highlight was taking ds1 to the Saturday night with K'naan (world cup song waving flag). We got home just before midnight and he was exhausted but happy.

Mama, hope you had a nice birthday before DH left and that the week goes fast.

To all going through WW and bad nights - hang in there!

Outnumbered4to1 Mon 16-Jul-12 18:19:18

On the subject of shoes, none of mine had shoes before they could walk outside unaided - I use woollen booties if it's cold or just socks. Got some gorgeous lamb skin and wool booties from padraig. Ds2 had them and reused for L as they wash really well.

emmazed Mon 16-Jul-12 19:09:31

fd I forgot to say in response to you ages ago, joseph has a couple of small skin tags in his bum crack. They dont seem to bother him so not done anything. Have you sorted s's?

lookout the dinner was nice but not great. I couldn't find another main I fancied so did the one I mentioned. Not worth the effort... And the sticky toffee was from a new recipe book, and I didn't think as nice as the ones I had made before. The soup was fab tho! Good job the guests were our parents so they have to come back!

Joseph had a terrible night and a few grumpy days. So unlike him. I don't know what it is, but just stocked up on teething gel just in case... Fingers crossed tonight is better as I am v tired!

I found out today I have a job at my old company, for 2 days as I wanted. Hurray!! So happy that I don't need to find something new. My boss was great; it is usually the type of place where you stay at work until everything is done, no matter on the time. I said I would need to leave at 5 without fail and he said no probs, you will just have to leave what you haven't done for another day! I think I caught him in a v good mood.

Scheherezade Mon 16-Jul-12 19:13:45

That sounds lovely out you can tell you're not in the UK as you'd just be washed away here!

Sympathy to Cheshire C been a nightmare atm as well, had to give him a bottle at 4am night before last, and I don't think he's stopped crying/screeching all day. Even when I brought him into bed with me this morn, he just screamed down my ear and kept kicking my c sec scar till he fell asleep for just over half an hour, in fact he slept better when I put him in cot this afternoon-2 hours!!

DP has brought me chocolate, and making me some oven chips with fried stuff for dinner- I couldn't face a week alone!

Scheherezade Mon 16-Jul-12 19:15:26

X posts emm that's great news smile

lookout Mon 16-Jul-12 19:34:57

Posting on the run just to say glad to see I'm not the only one with a monkey child atm. E very grumpy day today - only times he stopped whingeing and shouting were during his nap and when he was eating. This is now week 5 of bad nights, (with one random sleep through) and I am very tired. Off to bed right now. Hope everyone gets better nights/days soon.

LittlePebble Mon 16-Jul-12 19:35:44

I'm completely crap at catching up every time I try something happens so sorry for me post.

E has been back to docs today he still has chest infection do now double dose of antibiotics and steroids to try and get into him.

Have been working lots so DGM took him today I feel like a bad mummy that I haven't taken him sooner. DP is out tonight and E won't let me out of the room without having a meltdown so am starving while he rolls around in his cot. Really need some sleep so hoping it clears up soon and we get back to normal (although it's been so long I'm not sure what that is!)

Scheherezade Mon 16-Jul-12 19:39:44

Poor e LP sad hope the meds work soon.

C did a poo in the bath. DP cleaned it up grin

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Mon 16-Jul-12 19:53:26

Def must be wonder week(s)/ growing time confused. Another baby here who is rolling around crying in cot and refusing to go to sleep. She is so tired though that she is in a mess!

em still waiting on app through from hospital for her. It's just cause of where it is, right in her vagina that the gp wants to have it checked. Good to hear they don't bother J. She still does the floor humping so I wonder if it is itchy. Going to have her weighed on Wednesday so will ask health visitor to smile

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Mon 16-Jul-12 19:55:30

lp poor little E sad. That's horrid for him. Don't be hard in yourself. He now has the meds and that's the main thing smile

421 glad you had good holiday. My aunt in Ontario tells me it's been over 100 degrees now for a few weeks! Are you about the same or cooler?

Scheherezade Mon 16-Jul-12 20:52:57

fuzzzy I hope you don't take this too badly, but my friends little sis did this. It was for, Erm,.......pleasurable gratification. She used to hump the corner of the carpet, although she was older than S, started about 2/3yo I think. She grew out of it, apparently it is common in little girls.

- of course it could be something else entirely, and not that at all!

Scheherezade Mon 16-Jul-12 23:02:57

blush

Scheherezade Tue 17-Jul-12 09:28:07

<kills thread>

Mamamaiasaura Tue 17-Jul-12 09:43:18

<pops in>

How's it all going, did the babies sleep better last night. J now thinks waking up a 5 is fab and bangs very loudly to wake everyone hmm. Of course ages asleep now.

Dh home today smile yay. Missed him and got face ache from horrible fillings. Ds2 had last preschool session yesterday and off to friends today.

MrsHende Tue 17-Jul-12 12:13:39

Popping in too!

Teething babe here, she was sick on two of my three pairs of jeans yesterday (she vomits at the first taste of calpol but then takes the rest!) and tipped yoghurt on the third. So, I'm in a skirt and tights and had to sit very awkwardly at playgroup so as to keep my dignity! I had no idea how much I relied on jeans grin!

lovinbeingmum Tue 17-Jul-12 16:14:18

MrsHende grin I hear you! After a similar experience, I went SHOPPING last week and I now have a wardrobe full of jeans with all my skirts and dresses pushed away forever. By the time I am ready to wear them, I doubt I'll fit in them any longer...or they just might look like grandma's clothes....

Fuzzzy what's the blushing for...I take it you haven't seen boys pulling at themselves. It's a wonder he doesn't hurt himself...(I hope that's not just my boy smile )

mama I'm late but hope you had a wonderful birthday. And did I understand that right...tooth fillings!...ouch....hope tummy is better now....

pebble no words sad...just...hope he gets better soon....

scheh I think we're all getting crazy poo turns smile

emmazed very happy for you on the job front. I was a consultant pre-R but can't get back to that...it was crazy working hours. Have to start a job search but somehow the thought of leaving him all day gives me tummy cramps :/

I know job HAS to start but I just feel it would have been easier if I had something to go back to rather than starting afresh...not that getting something in this environment is going to be the easiest task in the world....

lovinbeingmum Tue 17-Jul-12 16:20:27

Oh and 421 I googled padraig after seeing your message. They are gorgeous! Wonder if we get them anywhere in UK though.....

em that's fab news about your job smile

lp hows E doing?

lovin W grabs himself too, makes DH wince he grabs so hard!

Engelsmeisje Tue 17-Jul-12 18:32:04

Evening all. Just got back from holiday. Surrounded by mounds of washing and unpacked bags. Sun shone today as we were leaving England (typical!).

Will catch up with new thread tonight and tomorrow.....I go away for 10 days and you've filled 11 pages!

Hope everyone is well.

x

Engelsmeisje Tue 17-Jul-12 19:18:02

Sorry you’ve been having such a rubbish time grey <hugs>

Great news about running penguin

Happy belated birthday mama

DH and I had the shoe discussion last week and he said it’s better to wait for shoes. I just get fed up with M pulling his socks off all the time – keep getting PA comments of “Are your feet cold? What has mummy done with your socks?”

Looking forward to getting back into a rhythm again. M was so out of his routine with sleeping and eating – jars for the last few days while staying in a hotel, sleeping in the same room as us, time difference. He has come up in a rash today, but no temp. Wondering if he’s reacted to something he’s eaten or if he too (like DH) is allergic to my DMs cats?

Right now I’m just glad to be home. DH has the rest of the week off – hoping for some sunshine smile

Mamamaiasaura Tue 17-Jul-12 19:35:28

Waves to *enj+

7th tooth appeared. 1 more and fx for a teething break. Dh home grin but he's poorly sad

lovinbeingmum Tue 17-Jul-12 20:10:32

to avoid socks getting pulled off, I've found these super useful www.sockons.co.uk/products/sockons/

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Tue 17-Jul-12 22:04:03

Waves to engel. Glad you had great holiday smile
mama 7 teeth?! Right, J needs to start sharing them around!! I fear S will be gummy forever at this rate grin.

My mum just called from a boat somewhere in Greece! Roll in Saturday till they are home. Me and S have really missed them both smile

sch not lowering the tone of thread grin but I don't think she does it for that!! In saying that though, we had a little girl aged about 3 in the nursery who came in with an 'Elmo' toy one day. She used to press the foot so it would vibrate then sit on it hmmshock

em great about the job! Sorry, think I missed it yesterday!!! When will you start?

Hi eng glad you had a nice holiday smile

mama wow 7 teeth! fuzzzy we don't have any here yet either

Outnumbered4to1 Wed 18-Jul-12 08:03:46

lovin - all 3 of my boys can't leave it alone either. My oldest had now managed to stop doing it in public at least!

I found the booties here: www.kulfikids.co.uk/category.aspx?cat=11 - a bit expensive but if you're having more kids they get better after washing and make great handmedowns.

Mama 7 teeth!? Leo is also a gummy babe still. I'm in no rush for them to appear though. I am still emotionally scarred from ds2 accidentally scraping his first tooth on my boob whilst he got the hang of feeding with teeth confused

emmazed Wed 18-Jul-12 09:41:34

No teeth here yet! Keep thinking he is teething when he is grumpy, but nothing....

eng Joseph takes off his socks too so I often just leave him without.

Feeling sad for my best friend, remember I mentioned her little baby in hospital. They have been there over 2 weeks and have now been admitted to great ormand street. She keeps fitting and they don't know why. Hopefully the experts at gosh can help. Not nice at all.

Mamamaiasaura Wed 18-Jul-12 09:49:19

em sad about your friends baby. I hope GOSH can help x

Out J has bitten me a few times and I've pushed her face in so she's opened her mouth and she cried sad. But she's not done it again except the occasional nip as she falls asleep which is very different from chomping down.

Tooth number 8 almost through, she's teethed alot quicker than her bros. ds1 is teething too grin his 2nd back teeth. Ive been brushing J gums and now teeth at least at bedtime and getting mornings more. She's getting better at letting me. Is anyone else doing this?

Leavers show at preschool at 10.30 'sob' my little boy is growing up. He cried today over the sad story of darth vadar, bless him

Engelsmeisje Wed 18-Jul-12 10:38:06

mama we brush at night before bed (advice here is once a day until they're 2 and then twice a day). M doesn't mind me brushing his bottom teeth/gums but very unhappy about top! Has had 6 teeth for what seems like ages now with no sign of the rest cutting through even though I can see them under his gums.

sad to hear about your friend's baby em

tee hee fuzzzy at elmo.

I have rotten hayfever so am sneezing non-stop <aaaaaaaaa-tchoooooooo>

em your poor freind and LO sad hope GOSH can help. A freind of mines DD is under their care and has been since birth, she's 6 now GOSH are amazing and the things they can do are incredible.

eng sympathies for the hay fever I usually get it but its been so wet here it hasn't appeared yet this year!

Scheherezade Wed 18-Jul-12 16:12:03

sad about your friend em how old is baby? How terrifying for the parents.

What toothpaste do people use? I have only been using water as our area has added fluoride but hv says we should use toothpaste.

Engelsmeisje Wed 18-Jul-12 19:05:08

We are using baby/toddler toothpaste that my SIL gave us...the brand name is Max grin

Penelope1980 Wed 18-Jul-12 20:50:33

We are trying to get into a routine for teeth cleaning but need to make more effort - maybe a toothpaste called Amotai would help grin

I just signed up for a 90km bike ride in Dec. I then realised it would take 4 - 5 hours. Any advice sassy on how to approach this? Am trying to decide between being excited by the challenge and concerned about it as well! It's a team event so can't pull out ...

I am still struggling a little with moving from work to home and not feeling bad that I am not spending more time with Amotai. I love my job and am happy at work, but get home, do the evening thing, put him to bed then feel bad that I haven't spent more than a couple of hours with him. Have to remind self that he's a happy baby so it really is all about me, not him, so I need not feel guilty.

CheshireDing Wed 18-Jul-12 22:26:57

Aww, I guess they are in the best place though for treatment Em.

Pene 90k bike ride!!!! Are you mad??!!! grin I was thinking of you the other day because I had a job interview and thought I had better check I could fasten my shirt, because I remembered you saying boobs were too big grin. Anyway, shirt wasn't too offensive I don't think as they offered my a job with a pay rise and an extra weeks holiday. I feel confused because I want the money but really wanted our business to be further one so I didn't have to go back to work and feel sad that ML could be over by mid Sept - how the hell did a year go back SO quick?

Mama I think J has all P's teeth, there are none here still. I don't mind though, I like the gummy-ness.

Too wet here for DH to have hayfever Engels - which I am kind of glad about as the sneezing drives me crazy, sorry sad

What will you do instead Lovin?

MrsHende Wed 18-Jul-12 22:38:33

Pene, I'm anticipating feeling the same way. I go back to work full time in a month and just can't imagine how it's going to be. I've had one full day at work and other than that, the longest I've been away from Lizzie is just a couple of hours.

Like you say, if they're happy then it's only us that have the problem!

Are you full time? Are any of you full time?

I'd love to go part time, and have recently found out that one of the others teachers at work, who is job-share, is retiring at Christmas so there will be a job-share post going. However, DH doesn't have anything like reliable work so it's just not an option.

I'm struggling a bit with it all - he dreads the thought that he might have to look after L whereas I'd love to be able to stay at home. The irony is not amusing at all. He just chose a really rubbish time to go for a career change and after quitting his job and going back to uni (before the recession!) is now trying to establish himself in a totally new work world (just as it's announced today that Scotland has gone into a double dip recession). However, the bills have to be paid and it's more important that L has a roof over her head than I get to stay at home with her. I have to keep telling myself I'm being a good role model for her!

Great news for you em that you got the job you wanted. Fuzzzy, any joy yet? I feel bad complaining when you don't have an option and would love to have a job blush.

On a different note, I was shopping today and saw lovely wee paper napkins and cup cake cases that I've bought and put away for L's birthday! Only 4 months early! I think I must be daft - they were lovely though and cheap. I don't even know what we'll do to celebrate, but I'm prepared for anything involving napkins and cupcakes grin! Can't tell DH, he'll think I've lost the plot!

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Wed 18-Jul-12 23:11:54

pen hmm. That is all on the subject of a 90k bike ride!
cheshire great news on the job!! Is it the same field you were in before? I was thinking of you the other day when buying cat food grin and wondering how the business was going?
mrsh don't be silly smile. I actually have an interview on Monday didn't want to say incase I jinx it working for nhs24. Not my ideal job (call handler) but its good hours, good pay, local and can fit around my parents looking after S. right now I just need a job so it's a start! So dh will be looking after L when you go back? I guess that's good in that you will save on childcare but I understand what you mean. I would love to stay at home with S. this job is only part time thankfully, don't think I could manage full time sad. Oh and I bought cute paper cases when I was in Canada in may so your not mad at all!!
What about everyone else? ML must be ending soon for everyone?

Scheherezade Wed 18-Jul-12 23:46:56

My maternity pay ended in April. I'm SAHM with DP paying for everything as we don't qualify for anything other than CB. I'm hoping to get some temp work one day a week maybe but its an hours bus journey commute, which was fine pre baby but would be a hassle now eg if I miss the bus which only runs once an hour.

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Thu 19-Jul-12 00:01:52

sch you had your results back yet?

LittlePebble Thu 19-Jul-12 04:56:46

Cheshire great news on job. I'm in similar situation as I don't get paid for all the work I do on my business (we employ a manager 3 days a week and covering her wages is enough of a struggle with a start up business!)
I've got an interview for a part time admin role on Tuesday. It's such a drop in role/ money from what is was doing but would bring in a bit of money to ease things and I'd still be able to see E.
mama glad DH is back
pene envy that you're fit enough to do bike ride although it won't make me get off the sofa
fuzzzy good luck for interview smile
mrsh do you enjoy your work? I've done a lot if full days recently and it's actually easy to be away if I'm busy and enjoying myself. I only feel guilty when I stop/ get back to him.
em great news on job. Hope your friends DD is ok

Thanks everyone for well wishes for E. tomorrow will be day 3 of antibiotics and steroids so hopefully he'll turn a corner. He is getting better but still wheezy and coughing and (as you can tell!) not sleeping well. I'm so tired I just want him better so I can sleep!

Hope all are well sorry for anyone I missed (hard to type as have little fingers in my mouth and grabbing my glasses!)

cheshire congrats that's great news about your job

mrsH I'm going back full time, I've persuaded my boss to tweek my hours a little so although I'm working 5 days a week I'm working every Saturday and have Wednesdays off so william only needs 4 days childcare. I'm hoping to be able to go part time in a couple of months once we know if DHs job is more stable.

Technically I start back at work on Monday (ive literally taken leave to the day they wont pay me anymore) but I've added a bit of leave on so I go back 13 Aug sad

LP glad Es on the mend

fuzzzy good luck for your interview

scheh just me being nosey so feel free not to answer but how did your pay end so soon?

Engelsmeisje Thu 19-Jul-12 08:26:20

90k pen ! Go for it! My best friend lives in NZ and she's always entering crazy stuff (not round Taupo is it?). I still have to withdraw from the 15k hill race I entered as have decided to attend wedding instead, so looking for my next challenge - could do another 10k or really go for it an enter a half marathon (Amsterdam one is only 2 months away hmm )

I understand the feelings of guilt as well when I'm working, though i can't imagine having to work full time. I guess as mum's we're stuck with it to a certain extent. DH doesn't seem to feel it the same way as I do.

MrsH I cannot recommend part-time work enough. We're not huge earners (I'm a teacher and DH does technical/clerical work so is on less than me). If he could work part-time permanently he would but his company aren't keen (he has day a week of parental leave for the next 2 years but after that it'll be back to full time). Education here evry felxible so I'll be on 2 days next school year. We have enough to pay the bills (though we don't have a huge mortgage) and go back to the UK every few months to visit my family and that's enough for us for now (though haven't looked at my credit card bill from last holiday yet hmm )

well done on the job cheshire

good luck fuzzzy

lp sending you and E get well soon wishes

woken up by rain this morning - guess that's the summer gone already!

sassy34264 Thu 19-Jul-12 08:50:21

morning- mad busy here as rental has to be done in less than 3 weeks-eek!

just popped in to answer pen 's question. i dont know if you already bike or not? i'll presume you dont. you need some bike pants that have padding on crotch, and you go commando- nobody told me and i chaffed like mad <wince> you also need to lather on the vaseline!
preparation wise, i would be doing 2 rides a week. an hour or so ride during the week say, where you do intervals 3mins fast, 3mins slow etc and then a 3hour ride on a sunday at a easy pace- just to get your leg muscles used to doing so many revolutions.

i will be mightily impressed if you manage to do 90k in 4-5 hours!

Penelope1980 Thu 19-Jul-12 09:31:08

Thanks for all the biking inspiration! I haven't done anything like this before and think that I haven't really thought it through BUT I am inspired to do exercise for the first time since I got pregnant. So, we'll see how it goes ..

Sassy thanks for the tips - and no, I don't really bike, or haven't for years. I think I will def get some padded bike pants after how one spin class made me feel! I went to a trainer today and she is going to write me a programme. Now I actuall have to do it ...

engels no it's not the Round Taupo but I actually wanted to do that one but couldn't find people to be in a team and was no way going to do the 16okm myself. Your friend sounds like she is making the most of the NZ lifestyle! or, what we tell ourselves is the NZ lifestyle, ignoring a recent report that said we are the third most obese country in the world

cheshire congrats on the job and more to the point doing up your shirt! grin I guess if you change your mind about the job you can always resign. That's what I tell myself anyway.

Mrs I'm full time at work and DH is at home. He's going to work again in late Sept though and I plan on dropping to a 4 day week. Can't wait. 5 days is one too many away from my baby.

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Thu 19-Jul-12 12:01:39

So I started reading 50 shades last night... my goodness!! grin

ipswichwitch Thu 19-Jul-12 13:04:36

Congrats cheshire on the job (you did well, none of my pre-preg shirts fit but thats prob more to do with cake than bf!!) and same to you em although i'm sorry to hear about your friend's LO and i hope they can get to the bottom of it soon
Good luck for monday fuzzzy

Things aren't going so well here, so I'll apologise now for the me post but I need to vent somewhere and tbh its the fact I haven't thats got me into this mess. the last few weeks I've been getting more and more stressed out. work hasn't helped (sorry btw, for anyone returning to work,I'm not trying to put you off), the job I do is very high pressured and I've been struggling to get time to even express for N. The fact N has been poorly and therefore not eating his solids well of sleeping has got me so exhausted, but interference from ILs has been a major problem. I keep getting told i bf too much, he doesn't eat enough, constant comparisons to other babies, etc. MIL actually took him to the HV clinic (unknown to me or DP), got him weighed, asked her advice on stopping bf, and the HV actually told her to stop offering milk during the day so as to make him eat more solids! result: N was so desperate for milk when i got home he did nothing but feed off me all night. If she had asked us, we could have told her denying him milk wont make him eat, it makes him too hysterical to even look at food.

All this is stuff i should ignore (apart from the milk thing) but my other issue is that I really haven't dealt with losing his twin brother. I've had N to focus on and DP suffering from depression so its all been pushed to the back. I ended up at the dr's on weds with an ear infection and generally feeling run down. I got so upset I was blubbing away at the dr, told him everything, and as a result he's sending me for counselling and I'm signed off the next 2 weeks. I actually told him I feel like I'm having a breakdown and I don't know what issues to deal with first.

Anyway if you made it to the end of all that, well done. I'm sorry for going on, just most people here in RL are either biased one way or another, or will end up interfering in an attempt to help, and my DM and best friend are going through enough of their own shit for me to want to burden them. DP is being an absolute star though.

ipswichwitch Thu 19-Jul-12 13:06:09

forgot to say pene I am mightily impressed with the biking....90k! would probably take me a week. I can barely get off the sofa today

Engelsmeisje Thu 19-Jul-12 13:11:38

oops, should say I'm working 3 days per week next school year and DH has one day parental leave per week.

wanted to ask about naps - how long and how often for everyone else? M is starting nursery in a month's time and they put them down after lunch. But at the moment he normally has to have a short nap in the morning as well. Just curious as to how much sleep everyone else's LO gets during the day.

mrsH I actually asked DH if he would want to stay at home as he hates work right now and since I earn more than him and have a sceure job it would make sense for me to work and him to stay at home and he really doesn't want to. Even though he hates his job, with his depression right now even he can see that he needs to structure of having to get up everyday and leave the house for work to keep him going.

ClimbingPenguin Thu 19-Jul-12 13:20:40

ipswich i would be livid if a family member did that and I think you should put in a complaint to the HV as well. No wonder it feels all too much sad I don't really have much help other than a few little things

(i) it is common for 9 month olds not to eat much and still have a lot of milk
(ii) expressing is hard (i had practically given up at this age and got home on time to feed plus lots of night feeds). Just one will get him through, I know it's not ideal. or there is formula if you are not against dairy and you feed him morning and night.
(iii) a little thing that has helped me is going for at least a 10 min walk in the evenings once DCs are down.

sounds like you have no support but do try and talk to someone. It is easy to find excuses but they will be glad you spoke to them. When we are depressed we have to fight the natural urge to shut yourself off from everyone. A friend of mine has said the only thing that matters is a support network. From that you can go on.

<sends some virtual hugs>

Engelsmeisje Thu 19-Jul-12 13:21:48

x-post ipswitch

I would be FUMING with my MIL if she did something like that. How on earth can she be so disrespectful of your wishes re N?

I can empathise with struggling with expressing at work. You work in healthcare don't you? I can imagine that hospitals/emergencies/patients can't always accomodate having to go and express at a certain time/routine.

You sound like you have so much on your plate to deal with: dealing with your bereavement, supporting your DP (sometimes it's like having another child and there's a lot of extra pressure in keeping things going), IL issues (I could write you a book on that too...like my FIL peering in through the lounge window when I didn't answer the door to see me breasfeeding newborn M), heading back to work and expressing (I'll admit I couldn't deal with it in tandem with the pressures of work and phased bf out after a month back)

I think it's good that you have felt able to TELL someone (GP) how you feel as I think it's always the hardest step to take. We tell ourselves we're coping, everything's fine until we get to the stage that we can't go on any further. I would talk to your DM and best friend though. Don't think of it as burdening them. When we were going through fertility problems and I had a mc, my best friend sometimes felt like she couldn't share what was going on in her life, good or bad, but to be honest when she did it made me feel better as it was something else to focus on, made me feel more useful and purposeful (listenign to someone else's problems) and also reminded me that I was not alone.

We are all here to lend a friendly ear. You have been through a huge huge loss, as well as adjusting to being a new mum. To misquote Dickens, "the best of times, the worst of times".

<hugs>

x

ClimbingPenguin Thu 19-Jul-12 13:32:32

I found myself worse in the first few days after speaking to someone (just in case that happens to you)

but then i had frank discussions with my DM and DH and we are now putting in loads of supports/things.

I agree with engel sometimes you help people by telling them your problems, kinda kicks them up the backside a bit and gives them power to do something useful which is empowering.

Mamamaiasaura Thu 19-Jul-12 14:29:40

ipswitch I'd be fuming too with MIL angry and with the hv for absolute shot advice. Also isn't it a breach of confidentiality?

Sorry things are hard at the moment, you have been dealing with an awful lot and not having time to grieve for your other little baby too sad. Have you tried bereavement pages here or SANDS. I can imagine in RL you are told to be grateful for N and at least you have one of them. But I can't see that being helpful or comforting because I expect (I know I would of) imagined life with 2 and pictures all the memories to be made. Do you have treasure box for him? It might be helpful to write a letter, maybe once a year or every 6 months telling him all about what N Iis up to and how you feel. Then when N is older he might want to read them too. Just a thought. Sending hugs you way. (()) x

sassy34264 Thu 19-Jul-12 14:40:11

ipswich angry at your mil. the nerve of some people. i think my dp would be frog marched to her house, to have a quiet word in her ear give her a right rolicking

i keep mine at arms length. ive seen her give sil's ds beer! she made a comment once on a family do that 'sassy doesnt let me watch them, cos she doesnt want me taking daft photos of them' (their are lots of photos of dp and dbro and dsis with tights on their heads, and some are crying) but dp shot back 'no, its cos we dont want them coming back leathered' (means drunk as a skunk)

you say you havent dealt with the death of n's twin, and i know what you mean by that, but i would think that at 8/9 months even if you had faced it head on, i would still expect you to be struggling at this point. its not a long time at all, and it will take as long as it takes. dont let anyone try to tell you, you should be passed it.

my brother was a twin and m was stillborn, and some stupid midwife said to my mum 'what you crying for, you've got a child' unbelievable really. but i still think that a lot of people think like that. you are still mourning the loss of a child. i think you are very brave and hopefully you will get all the support you need. x

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Thu 19-Jul-12 15:31:43

Someone calm me down before I lose it. This standing up in the cot is driving me mad. An hour I've been sitting next to cot holding her down and the min I think she is asleep, I walk out. Peek in and she's standing up again. What else can I do?! She is now so tired and starting to stress me out!!! angry

sassy34264 Thu 19-Jul-12 15:35:05

can she fall out?

eva stands up in her cot, but as dp has lowered it, i just leave her. she knows how to lower herself carefully back down.

does she have to hsve a nap? it might be less stressful to just take her out and back into the living room. i did this yesterday with j and i.

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Thu 19-Jul-12 15:36:39

Sorry ipswitch sad. I didn't even read previous posts xx

Oh ipswich [big hug for you] I would have been so so angry at MIL and what a stupid HV. Be kind to yourself, I'm glad it helped to talk to someone in RL and we're always here for you too. Allow yourself to grieve for your little boy, yes you still have N which is brilliant but A was your son too and you shouldn't feel like you have to hide that.

sassy your MIL sounds delightful!

eng I was wondering about nursery and naps too. W still naps quite a lot. One about hour and half after he wakes up in the morning for about half an hour, another before lunch at 12ish and a longer hour+ nap at around 3

LittlePebble Thu 19-Jul-12 15:46:25

ipswitch another one who would be furious with MIL! angry ooh it's made me cross on your behalf.
Very good advice from all on here I can't add anything other than another voice to support talking to DM and BF and mama's suggestion of the letters is lovely.

Fuzzy I feel your pain, I am currently sat while E stands in cot shaking his bottom and blowing raspberries! The minute I walk out though he'll scream the house down.

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Thu 19-Jul-12 15:47:04

Sassy, I've lowered it so she can't fall out and can sit herself back down but she needs to sleep now or will end up napping later then not going to bed till late tonight. She will stand there all day if Ieft to it.
Think it's just been a bad day. With my parents away, I've had to tend to my (almost blind) gran. Half way round Sainsburys with me pushing trolly and her pushing S in buggy, S starts to have a melt down as she is tired/hungry/needs nappy changed. I felt like I needed to split myself into 10 pieces just to get everything done sad. Just could've done without it all. Shopping is all still in the car, frozen stuff will be defrosted now, the huge washing I put out to dry earlier is now soaked as it decided to rain sad. But I'm not gonna moan about it
ips sorry can't offer much. You must have the weight of the world on your shoulders right now. Glad you have time off work. Feel free to vent here whenever you need to smile

fuzzzy just wanted to say I think your amazing you do so much and I know I'd struggle without DH around and yet you take it all in your stride. (sorry if that's come out wrong its meant in a good way)
As far as S and her nap goes will she nap on your lap or somewhere other than her cot?

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Thu 19-Jul-12 16:02:56

Thanks strawberry. I can't have her on me just now cos she just keeps scratching/grabbing my neck/arms/anything then pulling my hair and it's just making me more angry with her. I've already shouted and I don't want to again. My back is to sore right now to carry buggy up from the car. I'm layin in bed with her now. She is so tired but just won't give in. I look forwards to these naps as I get just a little bit of time to myself. Haven't even ate since 9am this morning!!!

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Thu 19-Jul-12 16:10:24

Sleeping finally!!!!!! Now I need to run about like a mad woman to get the shopping and washing in before she wakes! Did E fall asleep lp?

sassy34264 Thu 19-Jul-12 16:14:54

fuzzy sounds like a vodka day to me! grin

its so hard, cos i can tell you what i would do, ie, put eva in the cot, unload at least the frozen stuff, stamp my feet at the wet washing and leave eva to sleep. if she was showing no signs, i would bring her down and basically amuse her till bed-7pm, without a nap. but s, isnt eva and has her own personality.
hope you have found a way to de-stress.

chloe was on her school trip today- blackpool pleasure beach. iterinary was leave blackpool at 3pm, arrive back at school for 4pm. 1 hour seemed very optomistic, but im here- against my better judgement- waiting.

i blame the daily mail- read a really sad article about how many kids are being neglected by their parents- teachers saying their having to bring in snacks, find socks, jumpers etc in lost property, and the worst one was a girl of nine, whose mother regularly keeps her waiting after school for an hour!

ipswichwitch Thu 19-Jul-12 19:56:21

Thanks everyone
I know what you mean climbing, felt worse this morning somehow sad
sassy how awful for your mum. We had some comments a bit like that, and of course it's wonderful we have N but I wish some people would stop treating him like a consolation prize and that we shouldn't be grieving for A as "at least we have a baby"
mama I think your idea of writing letters is lovely. We have a memory box for him and it would be nice to add to it.
I realise I do need some help and am planning to talk to my friend and DM soon. SIL apparently blasted MIL for interfering. I don't know why she did it apart from over keenness to help but that's the sort of help I could do without.

Seems its Ns turn to not sleep now. Left him babbling away in his cot as he's just fighting it. Must be another wonder week!

CheshireDing Thu 19-Jul-12 20:44:23

MrsH I expect photos of FABULOUS cupcakes then in October grin

Pebble are you not going back to your current job then at all?

Yes same job role as before Fuzzzy but new (hopefully much nicer) company, more £ and another week hols. Plus I know I am really lucky to get something decent in the current market. I think we will know by the end of this year if the business is going to work or not, they change over of pet food in the stores we want to be in is around October-ish so hopefully we will be able to offer them what they want and in time then we just need customers. LOADS of customers grin. I hope then if things are going okay DH can drop to 4 days a week in the New Year so he and P can spend a day together on their own.

I need to contact nursery to arrange her taster sessions soon I suppose. Another bit of luck is that my Mum starts another degree in September and will have 2 days free so I am going to spend P to nursery for 3 days (instead of 5) so she will spend the other 2 with my Mum here and my Mum will do our cleaning. I will pay her but I reckon it will still be cheaper than full time nursery and I get the bathrooms cleaned and we don't have to drive P to nursery for 2 days. We shall see though, might all be more difficult in RL!

Pene which nursery did you choose in the end? The near or far away one?

Engels P has started falling asleep around 10am (this didn't use to happen), then she usually naps around 12.30pm and 4.30pm but it's all a bit vague and only for about 30 mins to 1 hour max.

Ipswich I cannot imagine the feelings you and DP have gone through after losing N's twin, I truly cannot imagine the heartbreak that you must feel. This time has flown by and you have probably been focusing all your energies in to N and it is a very short amount of time to have been able to deal with your bereavement. I am not going to say anything else because everything I was thinking the other ladies have already said. I will just say though that surely 2 weeks will not be enough and I too question the patient confidentially (although I am not really sure how this works with a baby/HV etc). If you haven't told your MIL to f**k off you're a better woman than me! grin

Fuzzzy The hair pulling, scratching really annoys me too sad. Although I can probably count on one hand the times P has slept in her cot in the daytime since January.

MrsHende Thu 19-Jul-12 21:27:00

Ipswich, I can only echo what the others have said. We're here for you to be sad, happy about N, vent, share things that are too hard to talk about with others who are too close. I'm sure that having N has been a huge solace in this dark time but it doesn't lessen the loss of A. I'm glad you're going to get someone to talk to. We all know how overwhelming having our wee babies is, I wonder if things are feeling harder now because we're getting the hang of parenting our bundles and now have a bit of headspace.

Ladies! <puts hands on hips and assumes teacher voice> I have a bone to pick with you all, yes, all of you angry. As mummy to the second youngest baby here (10th Nov, overdue!) I look to all your posts as a warning of what's to come, safe in the knowledge that I'm a couple of week behind most of you. However, today there was an incident that none of you had warned me about! I gave L raisins today for the first time. Good grief! The nappy! Rank and full of whole raisins! You might have warned me! wink

LittlePebble Thu 19-Jul-12 21:55:01

mrsh grin spookily I found something very strange in E's nappy this morning. It looked like a cigarette butt (no one smokes here) so had to (sorry TMI) "investigate" it and it was a mushroom stalk, a whole one! Bleurgh! envy < < sick not envy

Cheshire no I'm not going back to my old job it's only possible to do it full time and I don't want to go back more than three days a week.

fuzzzy no E did not go to sleep so I had to keep him awake until after dinner and bath. DP had volunteered to take him this evening as I'm exhausted after trying to sleep train all week (1hr minimum each night to get him to sleep) so typically tonight he falls fast asleep in 10 minutes! DP came downstairs and said "I don't know what all the fuss is about, that was easy". He nearly got a saucepan on his head angry

MrsHende Thu 19-Jul-12 22:05:06

LP, it's weird when something comes out the other end whole isn't?! It's like they're one of those Tiny Tears dolls who dirties their nappies, just a straight tube inside grin.

Glad I'm not the only one investigating nappy contents today!

MrsHende Thu 19-Jul-12 22:06:18

also, LP, DH has clearly got himself the job of putting to bed duty for life now!

lovinbeingmum Thu 19-Jul-12 22:06:55

ips My blood pressure's rising thinking of someone else, anyone else other than mum, taking a baby to the HV. What atrocious behaviour!!!

421 thanks for kulfikids, those booties are really cute

mama 8 teeth and you are managing to bf - you are a star!

cheshire i had moved from business development in tech firms to financial services (not the bob diamond type, I swear! smile). may have to switch back. the problem is i won't have a part-time option sad. all the talk of going back to work has me depressed. i know i have to...no, change that to...i know i want to....but it feels like from now on it's going to be a permanently unhappy state...when at work i'll want to be with him and when with him i'll feel like i'm neglecting work. the problem in our home is that DH travels a lot...he has to.....not sure what support I'll have....

fuzzzy all the best for the interview...rooting for you!!

pebble hope the infection's cleared...

sassy34264 Thu 19-Jul-12 22:57:15

pebble grin at saucepan. Maybe if it's so easy he can do it every night?

If jacob wasnt the sensitive soul that he is, i'd have booked myself in somewhere for a week by now and left dp to flounder.

congrats on the job front cheshire em and pebble i think?

Good luck fuzzy

sassy34264 Thu 19-Jul-12 23:00:28

mrsh I dont really give mine raisins, so you cant be mad at me! and i have shown you the potential pitfalls of having a 2 year old with a poo fascination.

They've been nicknamed the poo detectives on their own thread grin

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Fri 20-Jul-12 00:30:56

Yes I got a fright first nappy after S had raisins. I guess with no teeth she would have a tough time chewing them up!!

S went to bed at 8.30pm after napping till 5.20pm!! Can't even be happy that she might sleep in longer in the morning as I'm taking my gran shoe shopping tomorrow and she insisted I pick her up by 10am confused

Engelsmeisje Fri 20-Jul-12 07:47:53

M hasn't had raisins mrsH honest!

grin poo detectives indeed sassy

saucepan indeed pebble

You've reminded me that when we were on holiday we were out lateish one night at my mum and dad's so M slept there during the evening, then we had to wake him and put him in the car, drive back to the hotel, wake him up again getting hi out the car and then get him ready for bed/change/bottle etc. I feel like I pick up a fair bit of slack from DH - am trying to give him space and not rpessure him too miuch with taking care of M because some of the time he really can't deal with it (it's enough for him to get out of bed in the morning sometimes) but that's nto always possible or practical (especially once I'm back at work) and it can get really annoying.

We got back to the hotel room, I straight away started changing M's nappy, putting his pyjamas on, turn round and DH is ready for bed, lying down with a book.
"Oh. Going to bed are you?" said with lots of just the right amount of sarcasm.
"What?" he says looking flummoxed. I pointed out that he could be helpful and make Ms bottle while I was getting him ready. Then he had the cheek to make some comment about not being a mind reader! Men! Honestly, does he need an instruction manual? Does he think that we have fairies who magically change Ms nappy, make his bottles (and clean and hoover for that matter as he certainly never does any housework on his day at home!)?

(to be fair to DH he did then shamefaced make Ms bottle and give it to him).

CheshireDing Fri 20-Jul-12 09:36:27

Ooh Engels that kind of thing does make me chuckle when I think of DH dropping a day in the New Year to spend time with P. I love babies but am not sure I am crazy about toddlers so he can deal with her then! I came down to the kitchen the other day and they had only had breakfast and it was a bloody disaster area.

Does this sound like P is weaning herself?.... She last had a feed at 12.30am and has only just asked for one at 9am (had some breakfast in between) and yesterday she didn't ask for a feed between 9am-3pm.

I thought it was night time feeds that got dropped first? Still feel knackered though even if she did seem to sleep for 6 hours last night - can't believe it personally and am wondering if I forgot to re-set the timer.

CheshireDing Fri 20-Jul-12 09:37:26

Also does everybody else have to fight when nappy changing?

Mamamaiasaura Fri 20-Jul-12 09:43:29

Yup cheahire tho usually I can give her a toy to hold and be quick, but often she will flip over and escape. I have resorted at times (when very messy one) of having her arms under my legs (not hard) to keep her still. blush

Mamamaiasaura Fri 20-Jul-12 09:44:24

Night time nursing always last to go here.

ipswichwitch Fri 20-Jul-12 10:14:33

Night nursing still going strong here too. Was every 2 hr last night, and has been since tues when MIL decided he didn't need milk angry. Not sure if it's because he thinks he had to get as much milk as poss when he's home or he's picking up on my stress. I hope not. She has said he doesn't take bottles for her, nursery has no issue with this, and she said are you sure? Like the nursery is gonna lie about it fgs.

No raisins in nappy yet- although he has eaten some so I dont know where they end up!! Did get some carrots chunks yesterday though. Lovely! It's not so much nappy changing in our house, more nappy wrestling!!

lovinbeingmum Fri 20-Jul-12 10:48:02

ipswich in our house, R takes his bottle from me and the nanny (have one for two days a week) but he hollers the roof down when DH tries to give him a bottle. Guess he's decided that women are his primary care givers. Maybe in your case, he's even fussy about which women (guess he doesn't like your MIL either smile )

Yep cheshire nappy wrestling here too. Maybe we should petition to have it made an Olympic sport grin

Interesting about the night weaning I wonder if theres a difference between ff and bf babies. W is ff and hasn't wanted a night feed for months but still has 3 -4 six oz bottles a day.

Engelsmeisje Fri 20-Jul-12 11:20:55

nappy wrestling here too (thanks for the new term strawberry grin ) I'm holding M down with a firm hand on his big fat tum.

M is only on 2 6oz bottles now - one made as porridge for breakfast and one before bed. The rest of the day he's on solids and water/weak juice. Have only just dropped the afternoon bottle and have replaced with fruit or biscuit/rice cracker with juice.

ClimbingPenguin Fri 20-Jul-12 13:51:55

it is very rare for a baby to self wean before a year, even two. Although there are natural ebbs and flow's and also nursing strikes.

about 500ml is about right for milk i believe (both bf and ff although you can't tell with bf naturally)

both DS and DD have fevers here, trying to decide whether to brave the supermarket or not

Scheherezade Fri 20-Jul-12 14:25:15

Hum, C had a massive lunch and is now sleeping through his normal bottle time, should I not give that bottle as it'll be a bit late when he wakes. He had 8oz this morning, then 4oz cows milk with cereal, will be having 8oz before bed.

Scheherezade Fri 20-Jul-12 14:25:59

(Am out so will reply to everyone when I get home!)

Scheherezade Fri 20-Jul-12 15:57:13

Ah well I went for it, and surprisingly he had 6oz, little fatty. He had a whole sandwich today, plus some of my pasta and salad.

Sorry about the poorly DCs cp is there no one that can mind them for you?

Nappy changing is easy, you just use one hand to hold legs, one to wipe/change nappy, and one to pin them down......

C likes to offer us his bottle now during/after feeds! He turns it round so the teat is pointing at me and babbles till I pretend to drink from it and then smiles loads, haha. Very thoughtful if him, as he also offers us his food.

pen long story, but basically I was on maternity allowance, not SMP as stopped working at 3m pg, and as you could choose when it started I started it early so I could use the money to prepare for baby.

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Fri 20-Jul-12 17:13:13

That's cute sch smile
S offers me her sticky/grubby hands to eat hmm

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Fri 20-Jul-12 19:33:30

Why is this 'standing in cot' winding me up so much? I've had to walk out and shut the door cos I can feel myself getting angry again.
I don't like the person I'm becoming over this!

Mine currently rolling around the cot like a crazy loon fuzzzy I've left him to it cos theres nothing wrong and I can see him on the monitor

ClimbingPenguin Fri 20-Jul-12 20:25:10

IME fuzzy it not about the irratating behaviour but a reflection on your mental self and how healthy you may be at the time. Not saying depression but just a sign of stress that you haven't articulated yet maybe.

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Fri 20-Jul-12 20:47:55

I think it is stress, but I don't know what I'm stressed about. I ended up taking all the toys/stuffed animals out her cot and taking mobile off the side. She had her dummy and blanket and I left her to it. 40 mins later and she finally lay down and went to sleep.

ClimbingPenguin Fri 20-Jul-12 20:54:29

well if she went off by herself and no/too much crying that's great!! wait until they pace the cot for a couple of hours, start jumping or learn to throw dummy and comforter's out onto the floor.

Scheherezade Fri 20-Jul-12 21:37:54

Really feeling for you fuzzzy I hate that feeling of boiling over anger. I think every mum gets it at some point, even if they don't admit to it. Our worst moments is making bottles/food, he pulls at my legs and screaming trying to het me to pick him up, which I can't because I really need to make the bottle to stop the crying!

That's when it annoys me when people do a hmm face and go "oh you should never leave a baby to cry" - well he's not going to stop crying unless he gets a bottle, which I have to leave him crying to make!

ClimbingPenguin Fri 20-Jul-12 21:41:26

sch is his routine stable enouh to prepare most of it before hand? Most things just have to heated now surely? or is it just those few mins it takes that he gets all worked up in?

lovinbeingmum Fri 20-Jul-12 21:57:48

fuzzzy take a deep breathe.......

...its also the frustration of not being able to do anything.

We're not at standing yet but last week he started sitting up in his cot and crying and this at 10pm. I'd settle him and try putting him down in his cot and he'd sit up again....it was Exasperating!! After an hour of struggling finally got him into our bed, put my arm over his tummy, legs over his legs, literally pinning him down to sleeping position and then sang him to sleep....I'm a very bad singer. DH is still traumatized.

Big day here - 30ml milk had from a beaker!!!

lovinbeingmum Fri 20-Jul-12 22:02:20

climbin you asked sche the question on routine but isn't there some rule that you can't use formula bottles after two hours? i have that crying/ howling problem with the morning bottle as well. fuzzzy you mentioned you make the bottle at night and keep it in the fridge - that got me wondering too.

ClimbingPenguin Fri 20-Jul-12 22:09:04

the NHS info (i read it about a year ago now) used to say you could make them fresh and store in the fridge for 12 hours. I don't

golemmings Fri 20-Jul-12 22:09:25

I was interested in the comment upthread about babies not self-weaning. C kept the bed time and morning feeds until 17mo but self weaned during the day at 8mo. There was no way she was sitting around with a boon in her face when there was a world to be explored. Alex is going the same way at 9mo and has fed for 3 mins this pm and only 1min this morning with 11mins first thing and again at breakfast. He'll also have a couple of longer feeds over night.

I'm giving up on sleep training too. I just don't think he's ready yet. I've spent 2 weeks trying to put him down awake (with the ocasional night putting him down asleep) and he's still screaming for between 40 and 90 mins. Last night, after a feed at 01:30, he screamed from 02:50 to 03:30, slept for 20 mins and started again. That time I fed him but I didn't manage to get back to sleep properly so I'm exhausted and I'm getting tendonitis in my wrists from lying him back down every few minutes. Grrr.

ClimbingPenguin Fri 20-Jul-12 22:13:59

sorry i hit the post key, but it wasn't really anything of note

FuzzzyDuckosaurus Fri 20-Jul-12 22:15:24

lbm I wouldn't risk leaving a bottle of made up formula out for 2 hours. The one I make at night is dunked in cold water a few times to cool then into back of fridge to use in the morning. She drinks what she drinks then the rest gets put down the sink. Great news about the beaker!! smile

sch yes about the leg pulling! I put a baby gate on the kitchen door so I don't need to worry about tripping over her now. She sits on the other side all angry faced! I think she thinks she is the one locked in!!

cp I think it's the fact she isn't doing what I ask her to do, therefor I'm not in control. I know that's ridiculous as she is a baby and doesn't understand to an extent what im telling her but it winds me up when I'm telling her to lay down and then she laughs at me. Funny though as when I walked into room and she was standing, I said 'lie down now, it's sleeping time' she quickly fell to the mattress, into her tummy, arms tucked in and closes her eyes, like a 'naughty' toddler who had been caught up to no good! hmm. Did make me angry but I'm seeing the funny side to it now.

Tomorrow is a new day

ClimbingPenguin Fri 20-Jul-12 22:16:38
ClimbingPenguin Fri 20-Jul-12 22:21:54

aww fuzzy that is quite cute.

I am far from perfect myself but it sounds like you are starting to think about things and what the real issues may be and therefore ponder what your general parenting strategies may be. This is a great time for that reflection, their personalities are starting to come out but they are not full on toddlers yet. You are getting a inkling for what presses your buttons and what you want from your children's behaviour. I think I read some the books that really gelled with me a bit late for DD, especially as I knew I didn't want to parent how I was parented. For all those people that go on about following your instincts, to me that just means slipping into what you knew/exposed to growing up, which isn't a option for me.