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FEB 2010 Terrors sometimes, angels at others - yep, they're properly two now...

(984 Posts)

New thread!!

<offers freshly baked muffins and frothy coffee>

StoneBaby Thu 24-May-12 19:09:59

Thanks IC

I'll post the link on FB for the lurkers

StoneBaby Thu 24-May-12 19:11:53

<run back to the kitchen to check the bread rolls are not getting too tanned>

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Thu 24-May-12 19:16:32

Muffiiiinnnns <drool>

BigBadBear Thu 24-May-12 19:22:20

Well, fancy seeing you all here... grin

BabyGiraffes Thu 24-May-12 20:51:38

Fantastic, thanks IC grin <grabs muffin and coffee>

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Thu 24-May-12 22:28:17

I found you! Thanks IC for starting the new thread and to SB for signposting it.

BabyGiraffes Fri 25-May-12 08:31:27

Mous - I thought our 26 degree heat wave might amuse you grin

PenguinArmy Fri 25-May-12 08:33:00


I finally did some water play with DD. Started with a washing up bowl with water in, then a load of pots, pans, utensils, plates etc. Then with a neighbour they played with some spray bottles (69p from wilko's - lot cheaper than water pistols)

hope everyone else is also enjoying the hot weather

<runs back to DD>

BabyGiraffes Fri 25-May-12 11:25:08

PA - brilliant idea, might let dd2 loose on the garden with a few buckets... We have an outside tap too which thankfully she hasn't discovered yet.

DD and her little friend were enjoying water play in a pal's back garden yesterday - just pouring stuff between pots. It was lovely watching them! Her friend has a fabulous sandpit too - DD thought she'd gone to heaven!

Just been out washing machine shopping after the one here gave up the ghost and turned out to cost more to fix than to replace. Luckily, there's a shop just round the corner which does second hand and reconditioned appliances - so an almost-new Bosch is arriving on Monday (£150) - that'll sort us! Luckily, we have a lovely neighbour opposite who's been letting us put on loads at her place (and DD is in disposables for the moment to cut down on laundry). Probably the least stressful washing machine breakdown I've ever experienced...!!

AbsB Fri 25-May-12 15:24:00

HELLO!!!! Found you at last, thank you SB for posting on FB, I just haven't had time to read anything or write anything for ages!
We now have a fabulous sandpit which DD loves. It is under a big tree in the garden so lots of shade, really popular with her preschool friends too!
I have done my back in angry, lots going on and trying to cope (again) with dogs and dressing a toddler, DP is away on tour, my mum's on holiday and friends and neighbours have been super helpful. I can now pick things up from the floor, which I haven't been able to do for the last three days so the place is a disaster!!!
How is everyone else? Isn't the weather fab? IC your washing machine sounds good, fingers crossed it all works well! I can't imagine being without a washing machine ever now!!! wink
Right, off to book DP's Speed Awareness course shock

StoneBaby Fri 25-May-12 19:00:06

Abs poor you, I hope it gets better soon. But it's nice to hear from you.

mous when is your DD1 op? and DD2 hearing test?

The cake sale was today and we at 3pm (when I finished work) we had raised £172 shock! I'm well pleased especially as I've asked for this money to go to a premature baby foundation, created over here. I guess we'll get £200 by Monday when the night and weekend shifts will visit the kitchen grin. I'll post a photo of the cakes on FB.

I'm tonight having a relaxing evening by myself (DS is sleeping and DH is working), so it'll be tv, wine and early night grin

BigBadBear Fri 25-May-12 19:57:30

I'm flying solo too SB. The kids are in bed, I've finished some work I needed to do and I've (uncharacteristically) ordered a Chinese to be delivered. And relax...

Great to hear from you Abs. Glad your back is on the mend.

IC great news about the washing machine.

Good to hear about so much water play. I was bad mummy today and sent DD2 to nursery for an extra day as I had so much work on. But it was a swap for a week on Tuesday, which we have to pay for yet is a bank holiday, and DD2 came home saying "Lovely day at nursery" so I don't feel too bad.

I have one of my weekends with my sister lined up for this weekend, which will be gorgeous in this weather. Now I just have to hope that DH comes back from his heavy metal concert tomorrow morning in one piece...

StoneBaby Fri 25-May-12 20:15:16

BBB will that be evil to say that hopefully your DH will come home tomorrow with a hangover and that your girls will get him to suffer? blush

If the weather stays like this tomorrow, I may risk water play...

BabyGiraffes Fri 25-May-12 22:40:44

Paddling pool all the way tomorrow grin although with all the wine tonight (Hic) to celebrate my new job I may not be in the mood for much excitement...
Will be interesting to see how things have to change in our household when I work part time because dh will have to do a little more than he does now. With a one hour commute each way I will be out of the house early and back late for at least two days a week...

Abs Hope our back gets better!

SB Wow, your cakes were popular! smile DD1 was furious with me because they had cake stalls yesterday and I didn't bring any money when I collected her - just dashed out of the house with dd2 in pushchair and my house keys.

IC The sun is shining on you in more sense than one I think wink

Mous All okay with you?

BabyGiraffes Fri 25-May-12 23:47:31

Just wondered why I feel so tired... Realised the time may have something to do with it... [hic]

BabyGiraffes Sat 26-May-12 00:10:51

Dd2 had a nasty fall head first off her toddler table today. I asked her what she'd been doing on top of it in the first place (she climbs like a monkey at the moment) and she said quite indignantly 'I dancing!'
But of course.

BigBadBear Sat 26-May-12 07:25:05

bg have I missed something? What is your new job?

sb I think the dds would suffer more if dh returns with a hangover but I'm hoping his new sensible self will come to the fore hmm

PenguinArmy Sat 26-May-12 09:28:17

DD can now jump off the sofa's, I predict a few injuries in the upcoming weeks.

PenguinArmy Sat 26-May-12 11:43:49

don't know if people have a matalan near them, but they do a great bubble thing where the wand gives off loads and loads of bubbles. Is a two pack for £2 here and is better than some of the fancier things I have seen.

BabyGiraffes Sat 26-May-12 13:14:02

dd2 has a new favourite word 'either' and tries to get in into every second sentence whether it fits or not grin

BBB I've been offered a research post, 2 1/2 days a week. Salary is 10k less than my last post three years ago but it's a brilliant job with great prospects, so I am really excited smile

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 26-May-12 13:22:54

That is great BG! I hope you were paid more than I was because 10K less doesn't leave much!

Hearing test clear, DD2 new word is "paille" and is use to anything vaguely similar (sight or sound).
I still think she is a cave girl: wall painting, eating with hands (sometimes shells or sticks, yesterday paint brushed her plate with DH ketchup hmm), grunting, jump walking and unruly mane grin.

DD1 op is still debatable, I need more info and feel really wobbly. DH's will probably be in july.

<sorry for me post, I have to go>

PenguinArmy Sat 26-May-12 13:56:57

that's really good bg glad you are excited about it

StoneBaby Sat 26-May-12 16:29:27

mous grin at your DD2 description

BG great news about the job. Do you have childcare organsied for your DD2?

BabyGiraffes Sat 26-May-12 17:13:10

THe girls had a lovely time in the paddling pool this morning but I'm keeping dd2 in this afternoon. She keeps coming out in a rash with could either be the sun or the sunblock (have tried two of the latter).

mous I asked dd2 if she was a cavegirl and she said yes grin. Painting with ketchup is very creative you know grin. As for salary, yep, not much left especially if I take into account that I'm doing 50%, have to commute an hour each way, and have to pay for childcare...

SB Yes, childcare is sorted. Went to the nursery that dd2 went to for a few months (I took her out before Easter because it was just too expensive) and did a small amount of grovelling... wink They still have her space open and are delighted she is coming back! And dd1 has fantastic after school care at her school, too.

StoneBaby Sat 26-May-12 19:36:17

This afternoon I had to do some DIY, sanding the skirting boards in DS new room. So left DS in our bedroom in front of The Aristocats (his favourite at the moment). I checked on him a few times and on the last occasion he had taken the duvet and pillows on the floor.
About 5 mn later, I heard him scream 'patalon' (trousers) so I run into the room to find him cover with my cream face! shock It was on his face, arms, legs, hairs and trousers!
I would not have been covered with dust, I would have taken a picture blush

BabyGiraffes Sat 26-May-12 20:04:58

SB I am sure he has very soft skin and smells lovely... grin

StoneBaby Sat 26-May-12 20:49:28

And no wrinkles!

BabyGiraffes Sat 26-May-12 21:25:04


OhdearNigelosaurus Sun 27-May-12 10:29:59

Hi, is it Ok if I join you all ?

PenguinArmy Sun 27-May-12 13:24:05

of course unless you are disguised as a seller of some sorts

tell us about yourself.

i have DD from this thread and a 7 month DS

Welcome aboard Ohdear - anyone can join!!
Tell us a bit about yourself and your LO/s smile

BG what cracking news about your job, I'm so pleased for you!!!
<buries small regret about the likely loss of our occasional mid-week SAHM meet-ups>

SB your cake sale sounded (and looked) wonderful! Well done you for getting it organised and raising all that money - nice choice of charity, too.

BBB doesn't sound like you need to be remotely guilty about putting DD2 in the nursery! Hope you're DH has properly appreciated and acknowledged his time off...

Arf at "cavegirl" Mous! Good news that DD2 has added a word to her repertoire!

Sorry about your back, Abs - I hope it's on the mend now.

Nice bubble tip, PA!

We were at the PILs for the night Fri/Sat as DH and I had been invited to the evening do of a wedding. Very chic do, and a great time had by all. Including DD, who adores her GPs and she had a brilliant time playing in the sunshine with pipes, water jugs, floating ducks, trays and suchlike.

BTW is anyone a member of/interested in joining Pinterest?
SB got me thinking about it because it's brilliant for sharing recipes found online. It's also wonderful for ideas for activities for children, among other things. It's basically a sort of online scrapbook/pinboard where you can save all the useful/interesting web pages you've found online (and nab the ones other people have found too) but it's a step up from bookmarking because it stores a pic too so you easily remember what everything is (does anyone else bookmark stuff on their computer then struggle to remember what on earth it was for after a couple of weeks have elapsed?!!)
I think it's an invite-only joining thing, but if any of you are interested, I can email you an invite. I'm really enjoying it!

X-post with PA...!
Ohdear I have a DD on this thread and am currently expecting DS (due end of August)

BabyGiraffes Sun 27-May-12 14:50:32

Waves to OhDear... Have a brew and biscuit smile I have two dd, one Feb10 one and a nearly 5 year old.

IC I'll only be doing 2 1/2 days so plenty of time for meeting up.

Dd2 has done only one lunchtime nap in the past five days...As she grows out of sleeping at lunchtime I feel I am getting old enough to appreciate a snooze myself confused

StoneBaby Sun 27-May-12 19:47:14

ohdear come and join us, we're a friendly bunch grin I've got one Ds

BG shame about DD2 dropping her afternoon nap

DS doesn't nap at weekends but does at nursery.

We had a lovely day today, I even managed to catch some sun.

iC thanks for the site advice, I'll look into ot

BabyGiraffes Sun 27-May-12 21:33:00

IC As for SAHM, maybe I can keep honorary SAHM status? Please?

<honorary status conferred>
Once you've settled into the new routine, we must get together then!!

PenguinArmy Mon 28-May-12 20:30:08

DD has managed to catch my cold, still i've taken the let's drug her up approach in the hopes she gets up a little less tonight than she has been doing.

StoneBaby Mon 28-May-12 21:07:08

PA hopefully she'll get better soon

Well it seems that DS has understood the waking up wee in the potty in the morning but the rest of the day is a hit and miss. But hopefully it'll be good weather for the long weekend so we can have nappy free time and nagging about wees in the potty.

BabyGiraffes Mon 28-May-12 21:35:24

PA Hope she feels better soon (and you!) sad We have been suspiciously free of colds for a few weeks which makes me all twitchy and nervous...

Seems like I will enjoy my SAHM life for a few months weeks longer because in university speak 'as soon as possible' doesn't mean next Monday or yesterday but whenever we can locate the appropriate paperwork, put it in the internal mail by mistake, retrieve it, send it out snail mail, get it back signed, ask for more documents we haven't sent, copy things, file things, ask for more random bits of information, and file some more sometime in the near future, possibly early July. confused I think I am too used to toddler speak so that as soon as possible to me usually means three minutes ago grin

Aw PA, poor old DD - hopefully it won't last long.

Well, if you're at a loose end BG...!

I think you can look at my pinboards without being a member of Pinterest - let me know if this link works - it's my compilation of useful stuff to do with/for small children....

PenguinArmy Mon 28-May-12 22:19:31

I think DS has got it, which would explain the not being able to put him down at all last night. DH has just taken the first 1 hr shift now so i better get off if we have another night like that sad

for me the cold has been alright, just annoyed i got it in the hot weather, thanks though

what uni is it bg?

had a good regardless, took DS swimming today while neighbour had DD. she was up at 1:30 so we fitted in painting, water play and scooter ride this afternoon. plus an outfit change for me and DS as the post dal poo in the sling was not pretty grin

night all

PenguinArmy Mon 28-May-12 22:21:33

oh IC you use reusuable wipes, what do you use for the wet solution? anything or just water?

Yes, just plain water usually PA - although you can add a drop or two of essential oil if you like. If you carry them around in a bag for use on the move, they can get a bit smelly, so a bit of oil is nice then.

Hope you managed to get some sleep.... x

SconesForTea Tue 29-May-12 10:14:57

Congratulations on your job BG! Sounds very exciting. Early July is only one month away you know grin You will be commuting before you know it! My commiserations on DD2 dropping her nap. I am perservering with DD1's nap as it really does keep me sane. <wafts away MN jinx>

Mous glad DD2's hearing test was clear.

Great to hear from you Abs. Hope your back continues to recover. How did you do it?

SB grin at the face cream. DD1 adores smearing herself in my creams and I have to be careful to keep them all out of her reach (e.g. on top of the wardrobes as she's now tall enough to reach my dressing table confused).

PA I've been wondering how you're getting on. Sorry to hear you've got the lurgy. Get well soon to you and DD.

IC pinterest sounds just fab but I don't ever get on the laptop as it is <glances down at laptop keyboard> OK rarely then. How are you feeling at the mo, has the hot weather bothered you? There was a mini-heatwave in October last year when I was 37 weeks which nearly finished me off.

BBB how was DH after his concert? How are you getting on atm?

Aargh I can hear DD2 squealing. Quick update. Life seems incredibly hectic as we are trying to work on the house, socialise a bit and look after the little ones. I've been referred to a support organisation as I feel I'm really not coping. I feel I can do little bits but I can't do it all, the trouble is it all needs to be done and a lot of days I feel the presssure building and just want to sit on the floor and scream.

SconesForTea Tue 29-May-12 10:23:13

DD1 is acting up quite a bit as she feeds off my mood I think, so I am really trying to keep calm while she shouts/screams/behaves so unreasonably it drives me nuts. She has done another wee on the potty and DH wants to go full steam ahead with PT but I can't face it. (I can't even face feeding DD2 solids so how on earth I'm going to PT I have no idea). She is loving nursery which makes me so pleased. At her 2year check the HV said to keep an eye on her speech which surprised me, I have always thought her speech is fine if not a bit advanced, but it is very indistinct and often only DH and I can understand it. She said to call if it hasn't improved in a couple of months. I'm a bit hmm I@m sure it will sort itself out in time.

We have loved loved loved the warm weather and DD1 loves getting out in the garden. DD2 is an utter delight, apart from when I try to put her down to sleep at night (in daytimes no fuss at all) when she screams for up to 45 mins (with me going in periodically to resettle). Not sure what to do about it.

Better go, the dreaded ILs are due any minute. I love reading your posts even though I can only seem to get on myself occasionally.

StoneBaby Tue 29-May-12 19:36:50

scones nice to hear from you and I hope the support organisation will help you cope. <hugs> {grin] about the ILs

BG It'll come quickly enough, just enjoy your last few weeks not working. I know the feeling as 'one minute' at home actually means 'NOW' grin

PenguinArmy Tue 29-May-12 19:49:21

scones glad you are getting some support. Has the house move made things a lot worse for you?

for the most part I would say we are well and I am enjoying things

although today I have been very tired and DS has cried a lot as well so not hopeful for tonight.

BabyGiraffes Thu 31-May-12 10:14:21

Scones I am so sorry you still feel overwhelmed. I know this is not what you want to hear but please consider PND again. I had exactly this kind of anxiety when having PND after dd1. <hugs>

BabyGiraffes Thu 31-May-12 10:15:51

dd2's favourite word of the day is 'actually'. She's also still fond of 'either' and if she tries to fit both into one sentence the result is often hilarious!

BigBadBear Thu 31-May-12 11:11:48

scones it is hard and I hope the support organisation helps (and well done on seeking help). It does get easier, but try and be kind to yourself. Do not feel like you are letting someone down if you can't do everything <repeats to self>

BG the job sounds very exciting. Enjoy your last few weeks of being full time at home and don't forget about us when it all starts!

PA how you doing?

DH returned by 8:30am last Saturday shock so it looks as though his efforts are still being sustained smile. He and the DDs had a nice weekend while I was away with my sister, and she and I had a good time just catching up, walking and enjoying the sunshine (there may have been a lot of snacks involved grin).
Knackered again now though, due to busy week.

DD2 doing well with "big girl knickers" as she calls them, and just the odd accident (though these are usually poo related, which is a bit icky). She's also suddenly dry at night, though I'm keeping her in pull ups at night until the days are definitely sorted out.

<waves to mous, IC, stone, bear and everyone else>

PenguinArmy Thu 31-May-12 13:20:02

we're still tired over here. DS didn't get put down until 12 last night, but it did mean I got a three hour stretch of sleep.

Apparently DD was awake every 30 mins last night (once DS was off I was out). I got really annoyed at DH though because he didn't think to give her some drugs. I hate it being my responsibilty to think of these things, now I feel guilty he was up a lot in the night. By being tired himself despite me having DS it means he is of no help tonight. DS has just gone down, even if it only lasts 10 mins it's some time with two hands smile

Dd fell off one of those plastic garden slides (she was trying to copy a boy who went down backwards and fell during the turning). So she is sporting a extensive graze along her cheek, eye and forehead. it's very light, just a large area as the grass being dry meant it was gritty. As evidenced by her waking she still has a cold and had a short nap yesterday so that afternoon between the two of them was rather fun hmmgrin

feel bad that I haven't sat down and played properly with just her for a while, but maybe at playgroup this afternoon I can get someone to hold DS for a bit.

<end me me me post>

Aw PA, argh on your behalf. I hope you get a chance both to rest and to have some fun with DD.

Scones good you've asked for a bit of help - no shame in that, much better that you feel supported than overwhelmed.
<more hugs>

BBB how lovely to have time to hang out with your sister!

DD is generally fine, but her poo-phobia is a bit of a downer. She's sometimes holding on for three days before finally letting it out and we have some right old tizzies from her when she's desperate to go. Yesterday was probably the worst yet - and once again, she was a different child once she was all done and wearing a new nappy. I think she dislikes the inevitable post-poo nappy change as much as fearing the sensation of needing to go. Anyway, it's become a bit of a drama. Thankfully, she went again this morning without a histrionic build-up. I've suggested using the potty to her, but the idea hasn't really got through.

I got a free copy of Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting by Noel Janis-Norton from MN and I'm pretty impressed so far. The first chapter focuses on Descriptive Praise, which I've come across before (in Positive Discipline and ^How To Talk...^) but she's much more detailed about how to used it and we're already getting results from DD. I'll let you know how the rest of the book's advice shapes up!

I've started getting swollen ankles in the evenings. I never got those with DD, I suppose that's the benefit of T3 during the winter. Mmm, cankles - not a great look..!

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Thu 31-May-12 18:06:51

<hugs scones>

PenguinArmy Thu 31-May-12 18:11:11

we actually had a nice afternoon. As it was muggy the splash park was deserted, which is right next door to the playgroup. Made a crown at playgroup and then let DD buy some doughnuts all by herself (she got them off the self, queued, gave them and the money to the lady, then collected the change and put it in her pocket) smile DS didn't sleep long but being on the move meant he was content enough in the sling.

remember ankles are the price of the DC2 smile book sounds interesting, would definitely be interested in more feedback.

StoneBaby Thu 31-May-12 20:46:32

It's the end of a long day! DS woke up at 5.30am then started screaming 5mn later as he was wet: when DH went to see him, he was bappy free with a soaked bed! So it was a bath, bed stripping and washing of the fitted sheet, duvet cover, duvet and cuddly tortoise (plus pj and vest) all of this before 6am shock

PA fx you'll get more sleep tonight

Waves to everybody else <yawn>

PenguinArmy Fri 01-Jun-12 09:43:11

well DD is down for a nap already so has appeared to go downhill. She's had it for 5 days now so it hasn't followed a normal cold schedule.

BabyGiraffes Fri 01-Jun-12 13:23:25

Do you all have plans for the crown? I feel like I am the only one who has not bought bunting or made a cake to stick little flags in, and have no intention to celebrate anything. Am I just a spoil sport or can I get away with being foreign? confused

BabyGiraffes Fri 01-Jun-12 14:28:18

dd2 not sleeping today and creating havoc. Just found her standing on her sister's desk painting her face with felt tip pens saying 'I'm a tiger!'. Found it so funny I grabbed camera and camcorder before getting her down. She is now in front of the mirror admiring herself... (dd1 had full face paint on yesterday after a play at school)

PenguinArmy Fri 01-Jun-12 14:29:09


<whispers> DD is down thankfully

PenguinArmy Fri 01-Jun-12 14:30:10

we were going to give potty training a go, but as she seems ill I don't know. Plus I have to start my presentation <eek>

BabyGiraffes Fri 01-Jun-12 16:46:27

PA I take my hat off to you just getting through the day on so little sleep. Must admit of my two hadn't been such good sleepers I am not sure I would be sane and married by now...
Hope your dd feels better soon!

IC feel so sorry for your dd. Have you tried posting in development? Someone might have some really good tips to help with her poo phobia.
And sorry to hear about your ankles. For your sake I hope the sumer is not a scorcher.

BBB Your dd2 has just been awarded another medal! grin She got one for being he first on this thread to sleep through the night and now she gets another for being the first dry at night...

BabyGiraffes Fri 01-Jun-12 16:55:52

Argh, washing machine has died (suspicious look at IC and another local friend... Think there's a lethal virus going round!!!). Our replacement won't be as painless as yours though IC, what with the extended bank holiday sad

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 01-Jun-12 17:14:17

Sorry to hear that BG but I had to laugh at the virus! grin
No coronation party here <antiroyalist "catholic" FIL, the only true British in my family and too many foreign influence grin>

PA good luck <hugs if you want? not sure if you are a hug accepting person> Good luck with the presentation

IC put your feet up!

BBB <hugs>

I just bought DD2 her 1st play dough! confused [crap mum emoticon] she loves it and didn't eat it even when i left her without supervision, I am ashamed blush that I was actually expecting her to do it.

I am listening to DD1 reading a child friendly fired safety manual in a foreign language, I am rather impressed [super proud mum emoticon] blush. She has done so well. Sorry to dither to her but we are having some hard time with her not coping with changes of routines and possible panic attack (school is concerned)... but she has done so much in the pass year

StoneBaby Fri 01-Jun-12 18:29:26

BG no crown celebrations in this household neither. We're having a party on Sunday but it's for a birthday.

mous sad to hear your DD1 is having anxiety problems, I hope she'll settle soon.

PA good luck with your presentation.

IC elevate your feet as often as you can

I need to get the sewing machine out in order to mend the new curtains I bought for DS's room.

DS has discovered cherries. He really enjoys eating fruits (costs me a fortune but at least it's an heatlhy snack)

Thanks for the feet elevation advice!
<summons DH to fetch cup of tea>

A friend of mine has just started potty training her DD who is 2 weeks older than my DD - we visited the first morning and her LO had done 2 pees in the potty, (one at her own request), did another while we were there and no accidents. Good start! You never know, PA - it might turn out to be quite painless....
My DD was impressed and insisted on sitting on her potty later - with no result, but hey. At least she's getting interested in the idea.

Boo at your early morning wake up call, SB - NOT the best way to start the day...!
DD loves cherries too. Can't say I blame them, yum!

Impressive stuff from your DD1, Mous!
Hmm, must remember to give DD her play-dough. It's been sitting in its pots for months.....

BG our machine broke on the Monday - it was the following Monday evening when we finally got the replacement! A combination of helpful neighbours, DH's parents and a useful second-hand domestic appliance shop got us through!!
Had to arf at the thought of your DD2 in her "face paint"!

We're off to a street party on Tuesday, but otherwise not doing anything special. I'm going shopping on my own tomorrow, though <excited>

StoneBaby Fri 01-Jun-12 19:16:15

Shopping on your own IC shock Is that allowed?? grin

Sewing is done and I don't think I woke up DS

BG a friend's DD also draw a tiger strips on her face this week with a felter pen... (wonder if this is another bug?) Can't you get a washing machine tomorrow? (I bought one 2 hours after ours broke down a few months ago)

PenguinArmy Fri 01-Jun-12 19:17:11

can i come?

StoneBaby Fri 01-Jun-12 20:36:29

PA grin

BabyGiraffes Fri 01-Jun-12 21:36:10

mous can you send your dh on a guilt trip saying that his darling dd1 is starting to have anxiety attacks because he is dithering too much to ensure a stable education for her at least for another year or two? And by the way, she has done incredibly well to catch up so much and do so well!!! smile

Oh, and play doh is fab smile. dd2 loves it and likes mixing colours hmm (No darling, I can't mend it for you...). She is also really keen on marbles, coins, buttons (my mum has the most fantastic collection of old buttons, some of them huge), and playmobil (which dd1 ignores and has never played with). I am still waiting to find small pieces of something in her nappy though confused because I don't trust her completely.

SB I guess we could get a washing machine quickly if we could but not with dh taking ages to decide which one... angry He likes to do his own research taking ages and then agrees with my suggestion grin Just as well dd1 has next week off on half term, so does not need her uniform. She likes to climb trees, hide in bushes, play chase, find treasure by digging etc so needs a new dress every day hmm and I ended up hand washing one for her.
Sewing machine... hmm. I should really get one of those.

IC Shopping on your own envy Hmmmm.

PA Good luck with interview preparation!

dd2 has been incredibly cheeky today and at one point ended up in her cot for time out for a minute or two (she kept pressing the off button on my laptop which I didn't think was very funny because I was actually trying to do some work). dh was away for two nights for work and this morning dd2 kept following him around everywhere which was quite cute. She will also only let him read her bedtime stories and does not seem to mind his strong accent when he reads German books (his German is quite good but his accent isn't - dd1 got to a point where she wouldn't let him read German... wink)

Oh and I realised I lied about not doing anything for the crown. We are invited to a BBQ on Sunday and my friend send a text in a panic saying there is absolutely no bunting left in town at all anywhere and what can she do... grin I'll get the girls to colour in the mn template to take along but it may not be in conventional colours grin

PenguinArmy Fri 01-Jun-12 21:48:27

BG thanks for the pm, it made me re-read the message about the impending birth of DS which looking back is exactly what happened to me. Made me smile

DD still put money etc. in her mouth still as well.

I've also caved and put a stair gate on DD's door and so far it has worked great, although I'm not holding my breath once she's better and finally twigs what's going on. We open it once she's asleep.

we are actually doing nothing for jubilee. good luck with getting your machine sorted out.

did any one bf biters? DS has taken a few nibbles, got too bad but I'm already getting a bit nervous regarding feeds. so far it has happened at the end when i have zoned out and guess he''s either saying 'oi! get rid of this' or thinks it's a new exciting teething toy. He's had the teeth a few weeks so not like they are anything new.

BabyGiraffes Fri 01-Jun-12 23:12:35

PA seems like yesterday... smile

extremelychocolateymilkroll Sat 02-Jun-12 01:06:44

Hello everyone - another of my infrequent visits. Saw your dd's poo phobia IC and wondered if you had come across Poo Goes to Pooland? I can email you a copy if you haven't. It did help with dd1's reluctance to poo in the loo which as you probably know is pretty common. Good to hear yet more positive feedback on Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting. I have read a number of articles praising the author and her techniques - apparently Helena Bonham Carter is a big fan - and am now quite tempted to get this book.

StoneBaby Sat 02-Jun-12 07:53:58

DS is still asleep shock shock I'm actually worried that he's unwell! I guess I'll know when he wakes up

PenguinArmy Sat 02-Jun-12 08:38:06

dd spiked a 39+ fever last night, maybe he stole that <not helpful>

<gets back to housework>

Bearcrumble Sat 02-Jun-12 13:13:54

Hi everyone - sorry I haven't posted for ages and ages. Just so busy with two of them and the baby is a screams-when-put-down one. Hot days were really hard because too hot for moby or ergo. I bought a ring sling off ebay but I think it is a cheapo one and the the material is too skimpy so it's not very comfortable (can't spread weight over shoulder and rings end up digging in my neck).

She will now only sleep on me at night. Quite often on her tummy on me. Which worries me greatly as regards SIDS. DH still sleeping on inflatable bed downstairs. I need pillows and apparently they are a big no-no when it comes to co-sleeping. I feel very guilty but I don't know what to do - if she screams she wakes DS and I need what sleep I can grab even if it is at a crooked angle and with a baby on me.

Am hoping it is the difficult lead up to wonder week 8. She's 7 weeks now by due date.

Well done on new job BG.

Scones - I am sorry things are difficult for you at the moment.

PA - Sorry you are all so tired. It's good to put vaseline on grazes. Helps prevent scarring. I only found this out after Alex got a scar.

PenguinArmy Sat 02-Jun-12 13:29:14

it was my understanding tummy sleep was fine on you, risk is more from rolling over.

i slept with a pillow but had DS further down and the pillow at a 45 degree angle

DS had the wonder week combined with a late 6 week growth spurt <shudders at memory> grin

i've been ok with the kari-me much to my surprise but i don't go out between 12 and 3. does your cry if laid in the buggy as well?

when dd was down i would just take ds and lay in bed, even if he wasn't yet sleepy.

Bearcrumble Sat 02-Jun-12 13:58:18

Who rolling over - me or baby? I always sleep on my back so I wouldn't roll. When I was pg I kept waking up and finding I'd gone from side to back as it's what I do naturally.

PenguinArmy Sat 02-Jun-12 14:04:00

i meant you. I sleep on my stomach, even up to end of pg. sleeping on your back is a alien concept to me grin

PenguinArmy Sat 02-Jun-12 14:36:31

IC erm how do the logistics of wipes work for poo nappies, especially when out? I have cut up bit of a sheet and have some lavender in from DS's birth. I have not yet admitted defeat and got the sewing machine out to them it all properly.

Just trying to think of where to put soiled wipes. Assumed with wet ones, i would just put them inside the nappy until washing time but with soiled nappies I need to empty the nappy first. <hopes I am explaining myself properly>

sometimes I see people with newborns and think aww, they are so small but that quickly replaced with feeling sorry for the parents. It is fair to say I am far fom broody grin

Hi extremely lovely to hear from you! I'd be very interested in Poo Goes To Poland, thanks for the offer! I'll PM my email.

PA if I'm somewhere where I can rinse the soiled wipes out, I do so, then store in a draw-string waterproof bag to throw in the wash when I get home. But if not, I usually shove them inside the dirty (washable) nappy and rinse them through when I get home. If you haven't got a waterproof bag (I got a couple in my packs of Pop-In nappies), then make sure you always have some ziploc bags with you - one for clean, moist wipes, the other for the soiled ones.
Let me know if you need any more tips!!

Bc - DD would only sleep on my chest for the first few weeks, but I did eventually wean her onto her Cocoonababy. My feeling is, if you're a habitual back-sleeper, she'll most likely be fine there - your own body heat and breathing etc. will regulate hers.
You can have pillows if you co-sleep, just make sure they're well away from the baby. Best way to do it, if your cradling the baby to breast/under an arm is to put the baby in their own sleeping bag (or whatever) on top of your duvet, well below the level of your pillow. If she's on top of you, pillows shouldn't present a danger to her. I actually used my stretchy sling as DD's covers when she was sleeping on me - it meant I didn't worry about her rolling off me (and the fabric was breathable) - I left it fairly lose.
In the hot weather, you'd probably find a mai-tei sling to be most comfy for you and the baby as they use the least amount of fabric. They're also relatively easy for back-carries too, when you get to that stage! Mind you, I found my woven Calin Bleu cool gauze wrap sling to be fine for me and DD during the summer in Madrid - just made sure both of us were lightly dressed (and used strategic positioning of muslins to shield DD's bare legs from the sun - another trick was to fold a rolled-up muslin in the sling fabric behind her head for extra support. Worked a treat! If you check the FB page, I stuck a load of photos of DD in the red cool sling, if you want to see some of the things I did to help carry her comfortably.

SB here's hoping your DS isn't brewing any bugs.....

StoneBaby Sat 02-Jun-12 17:01:08

Well, DS has been been 38.5C and 39C all day, very clingy and drowsy too. I just need to see what'll come out of it (my money is on chicken pox).

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Sat 02-Jun-12 21:17:04

Just wanted to say hi to you all after another week of work-thank heavens for half term!
Hope all poorly ones are better soon.
Scones well done for asking for help. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other was always my motto. I can't imagine moving with 2 little dc.
I'm leading the local Brownies pack in some singing in a village review tomorrow for the jubilee-which has also kept me busy! We've got a box car race through the village too and cream teas etc..
Anyway, time with dh tonight so have to dash.
Looking forward to Wednesday.
Love to all.

StoneBaby Sun 03-Jun-12 07:03:36

Well, DS woke up at his normal time of 6.30am this morning and he's happily having breakfast. So I just need to chekc his temp but it seems to be back to normal (except for the potty use refusal).

Weather is grey and drizzely over here, that'll be fun to have a outdoor bbq this afternoon hmm

Waves to all

Bearcrumble Sun 03-Jun-12 11:48:50

Oh, SB glad to hear he's doing ok and has swerved the pox. I don't know how many times I've been sure that DS has been exposed to it via other children who came down with it a few days after they were together but he is still yet to have it.

IC - I looked up cocoonababy, it looks like a fab idea but I blanch slightly at the price.

Survival I hope your day goes well and the brownies are in good voice, sorry the weather is so cruddy.

My mum has taken DS for the day so I am mostly bumming around in my pyjamas and catching up on me-time as amazingly there's not loads of washing and tidying to do. The string broke on my bedroom window blind as I was pulling it up this morning but I'm going to ignore that. I guess I could cook tomorrow's lunch.

Oh and I booked a table at Heston Blumenthal's Dinner for the 6th July for me and DH as it's our 10th wedding anniversary. Will take kids and my mum and leave them in Regent's park for a couple of hours so I hope the weather is good.

StoneBaby Sun 03-Jun-12 12:08:31

DH has gone by himself to the bbq envy as DS is still not fully recovered (the temp is gone but he's still sleepy and clingy).

His new bedroom is finished, just need the carpet to be fitted next week and we can move him.We're just missing a bedside table from Ikea as it's not stocked in France (a friend will get it on his next UK trip).

bc enjoy your me time and the meal next month.

PA no experience on reusable wipes but I used to store the wet and dirty reusable nappies in a bag like this one.

PenguinArmy Sun 03-Jun-12 12:22:01

well despite DH being the reason I haven't made the switch before, now that I have done it he seems quite impressed. (as he was the SAHD i respected his decision and took me until now to stop, although I use cotton wool and not wipes anyway).

DD doesn't have a fever anymore smile and even slept through last night but got up at 5:30

We attempted to de-swaddle DS last night, that didn't last long.

Your anniversary plan sounds lush bc

glad DS seems on the mend sb

weather is looking rainy for wed but can't think of anywhere that will be better suited than my place with forrays out if weather seems OK. If people think of something I won't be offended. I will message my address out at some point (I have quickly snuck into here)

<gets back to huge list of jobs we seem to have up> hmm

jubilee smuliee grin

rainbowweaver Sun 03-Jun-12 18:59:19

Hello, sorry I've not been able to post for so long. I've had a rather strenuous 3 weeks where I've had to be travelling every week day, and the occasional Sunday. Having said that while coping with jet lag and lack of sleep, I did manage to fit in some sight-seeing, about 5 hours total in the 3 weeks! And DD has understandably been a little more keen to stay with me while I'm at home during the weekends. However have been lurking throughout, really appreciate reading all your posts! Though sorry to hear about the broken sleep, and odd illness/fever. Reading about your descriptions of #2 has made me incredibly broody however!

BC though we didn't have a cocoonababy we used a pillow instead. DD would only sleep on top of me or DH, or in DH's arms in a soft pillow! Always felt it was highly dodgy, but she slept really soundly and never turned. Use at your own risk though! smile

IC thanks v much for the pinterest links, have gone and got some poster paints to try out the ziplock paint idea and also a pipette and food colouring for the other one. Fingers crossed for tomorrow..... In fact DD also loves the Laura Veir CD especially Jump, causing her to quickly hasten to the trampoline. A friend of mine recommended this CD, which DD also loves dancing to.

If you have any other Cd suggestions I'd love to know them? And an invite to pinterest wold be lovely!

StoneBaby Sun 03-Jun-12 21:44:25

rainbow so nice to hear from you. Hopefully your job will be less full on in the next few weeks

DS and I webt to that party at the end to pick up DH; we only staid for an hour as DS started tobe grumpy as he wasn't allowed to watch films on the ipod. He is on the mend tho especially as he did a few wees in the potty meaning that the pull up he got on a 10.30am will be worn tomorrow!! grin

StoneBaby Sun 03-Jun-12 21:53:26

It's quite funny but DH and I are speaking like DS when he's not with us! ie 'broken' when someone die on tv or something stop, 'maman / daddy more...' when you either want more or want to wind each other up grin Are we just odd or are you picking up some your DC phrases too?

BabyGiraffes Sun 03-Jun-12 21:57:51

SB you are quite normal.. We have family phrases dating back to when dd1 was small and dd2 has added quite a fewgrin

StoneBaby Sun 03-Jun-12 22:02:45

BG phew! I can cancel the psy appointment relax now grin

rainbowweaver Mon 04-Jun-12 04:19:26

An update on the pipettes/food colouring idea. DD started as expected with the water droplets, and was happily dropping coloured water drops onto the kitchen towel. Then I may have made the mistake of giving her a paintbrush, which she then tried for another few mins, before pouring all the liquid contents from one bowl into the other, and finally onto the flat container, and soaking tissue and squeezing it all out several times. How did that other 2 year old manage to be occupied for a whole hour?!

However she was very happy after especially as my husband made lamb chops and rice for dinner, and told us both that she loved us repeatedly during dinner. grin

Ha ha ha!! At least she enjoyed herself! Maybe one to do outside for the time being..?!! DD loves tipping water from one container to another too...
rainbow, great to hear you trying out some of those ideas - PM me your email and I'll invite you to Pinterest forthwith!
Glad your DD is enjoying Laura Veirs, too!

bc I baulked at the price of the Cocoonababy initially too, but as I intended it to be used by DC2 (and then could probably sell it on) I figured it was worth it (we used to carry it around with us when we visited other people for naps and things too - plus cos DD was so small she didn't grow out of it until she hit 7 months). I can understand you being reluctant to shell out on one now, though!!

Bearcrumble Mon 04-Jun-12 09:16:48

For those whose toddlers like water play - a lady at the one o'clock club suggested this stuff - Gelli Baff - it turns water into gunk and back again. I bought some of the Gelli Play one and did it in a washing up bowl in the garden. May well get the bath one for next time. It doesn't actually turn it to jelly - more like rubbery crystals, I think it must be made of the same stuff as those water balls that florists use (that DS also likes to play with, dumping from bowl to bowl and digging with his diggers).

Do you know about the play at home mom blog? They have lots of good ideas.

PenguinArmy Mon 04-Jun-12 09:21:38

we had to introduce the no tipping main water bowl into the grass rule grin

Nice blog, Bc! I think some of my pins actually came from that one....

BabyGiraffes Mon 04-Jun-12 15:53:28

Think I have a lawyer in the making... Dd2 is aware of der rights and told me this morning 'you are not allowed to touch me!' when I tickled her shock grin

BabyGiraffes Mon 04-Jun-12 18:22:22

'her rights' flipping phone

StoneBaby Mon 04-Jun-12 18:44:04

BG grin

BabyGiraffes Mon 04-Jun-12 22:07:36

dd2 has been quite a handful this weekend, partly because she now totally refuses a lunchtime sleep (that she desperately needs) and partly because dh has been home longer than a normal weekend. Guess she's not too bad really but her short temper has been difficult... <realises I'm waffling and decides to go to bed....>

Hope all the poorly ones are feeling better and everyone had a good weekend.

rainbowweaver Tue 05-Jun-12 07:47:32

And another update on the poster paints in the ziplock idea.... DD was quite taken with it esp once we took out a small rolling pin. But then quickly cottoned on the if she scratched the plastic with her nails, holes would appear allowing the paint to come out!! For those who didn't see the pnterest site, the idea was to take a large ziplock bag, place an A4 paper inside and on top if the paper large dollops of paint. Tape all sides of ziplock bag on stable surface.

However we did find an activity the she really took to for 2 hours... Involving coloured paper, prittstick glue and child scissors. take an A4 paper, give child gluestick, and tear paper of other colour into small pieces allowing child to stick on original A4 paper, or allow child to cut small paper pieces herself. For an even more creative experience, you can draw something on the largepiece of paper then fill in with appropriate colour paper pieces. Result happy satisfied child and parent!

rainbowweaver Tue 05-Jun-12 07:48:01

Hi IC have PM-ed you my private email.

PenguinArmy Tue 05-Jun-12 08:46:41

DD occupied herself for 30 mins by playing with her satsuma peel in her teacup set. Later same thing but with mixed nuts.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Tue 05-Jun-12 11:09:57

woohoo! 1st poo on the toilet!

Good craft activities, rainbow!
I've sent you an invite, hopefully you'll find it easily! Dead simple to join, just do it via FB.

BabyGiraffes Tue 05-Jun-12 12:51:52

Mous - well done! (to your dd2 clearly) smile

StoneBaby Tue 05-Jun-12 14:50:10

mous well done to your DD2

PenguinArmy Tue 05-Jun-12 20:20:10

on the subject of which I have a potty training question(s)

we started having a go this weekend to take advantage of DH being so many days. We learned that DD does 1 maybe 2 wee's between 8 and 12. Nothing for 3 hours after nap and then a flood around getting dinner ready/dinner time.

She hasn't been upset but for the most part would tell us when she was doing or have just done. Before this afternoon, all wees on potty were from me being able to tell she needed go. She often does a few drops first or she went still so didn't count in my book.

So I was all ready to go back to nappies tomorrow and then this afternoon we went by herself a few times. As a reward for going in the potty we have been giving her chocolate milk blush so the flood this evening was torrential but she did great and even did a poo.

Do I carry on (with visitors tomorrow being ready for a half naked DD) and what do I do about continuing the reward system (worried i have dug myself a hole) or going out (which is what I am really concerned about re potty training in general - the thought of wee's in the buggy)?

PenguinArmy Tue 05-Jun-12 20:22:54

If I didn't have a DS who needs so much holding I think I would be more confident or up for it. At least handle the thought of staying in for a few more days or going at her pace.

PenguinArmy Tue 05-Jun-12 20:24:20

however DD's face when she thought there was a sausage in her potty was priceless, so she kept trying to do more. (she thinks sausages are one of the best foods ever)

Bearcrumble Tue 05-Jun-12 20:55:02

Hahaha re sausages, PA! Sounds like you and she are doing really well. DS still hasn't got back into the swing of potty use since his massive regression over it on the arrival of DD. He knows when he is pooing for sure because we talk about it (and weeing I think), he just doesn't want to use the potty.

Well done to Mous's DD.

Hope those of you meeting up tomorrow have a wonderful day. Wish I could be there.

I've had a bit of a difficult day. Was knackered last night so DH got 'dirty' fried chicken from the shop round the corner. I never liked the look of it, we always thought they were a bit dubious hygeine-wise and we were proved right today - had a mediumly bad tummy and felt rotten all day. Couple of times I thought I had pooed myself. DD is being textbook week-8-ish. Fussing over the boob, on and off all the time and then getting upset about getting sprayed in the face. I feel achey from sleeping sitting up. DH has been great give him his due.

Had lunch out - managed to eat a bit of fish and fennel salad which made me feel a bit better - with two other local mums and their husbands and kids in a pub with a big garden. Lots of other people with kids had the same idea so there was quite a gang running around. It was cute to see DS and his friends actually talking to one another properly (although it was mainly bossing each other around). My best friend came over with her mum late afternoon - both of them stinking of fags - I felt I had to let the mum hold the baby briefly but luckily she was in a crying mood so she didn't have her for long.

I will PM you, IC for the pinterest thingy.

StoneBaby Tue 05-Jun-12 20:55:26

PA I would carry on the training. Especially if she's happy to sit on the potty and understand what's happening. But it comes from a mum whose DS is refusing to sit on the potty at the moment (hopefully due to his recent illness) hmm

StoneBaby Tue 05-Jun-12 21:01:21

Oh and to stop the half naked toddler do you gave a dress or long top that she can wear without a bottom?

BabyGiraffes Tue 05-Jun-12 21:03:52

dd2 had the shock of her life tonight... dd1 wanted to look at some picture albums with dh, and dd2 joined them, seeing pictures of herself as a baby as well as some with me pregnant. She seemed incredulous when dh told her it was her in my tummy 'But I don't fit!' grin Later when I put her to bed she asked me 'Mama, was I in your tummy?' I told her that yes, she was but she was quite small then... Hope the poor little thing won't have nightmares tonight! wink She has absolutely no idea, hasn't noticed bumps on women and has only just the other day met a new baby (she complained he was too loud!). dd1 was very clued up at this age due to the imminent arrival of dd2 smile. It never occured to me that dd2 was so clueless!

PA Sounds like your dd has got the general idea and is doing pretty well! smile

StoneBaby Tue 05-Jun-12 21:28:47

BG your DD2 is priceless grin

PenguinArmy Tue 05-Jun-12 21:34:20

awwww I can't imagine having that kind of conversation with DD.

thanks for feedback. It is ridiculous how happy we were with poo and wee related events today hmmgrin I feel a bit better but still dreading carrying on with rl. Oh well, it will be fine and at least tomorrow's guest understand grin I am hoping their toilet antics will help with DD so we may be following you

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Wed 06-Jun-12 06:08:31

PA I potty train DD1 around that age (may be slightly earlier) and never had any accident (hmm, 1 birthday excitement a week in, 1 "I am holding a little more because the toilets are too dirty" after a few months, and 2 scares, years later; which is peanuts)

Don't force it just go with the flow. DD2 has been showing signs since Xmas but is still in nappies. She refuses to wear underpants now as the last time she did she peed and pooed in them, so technically she is trained if bum naked but still has a nappy outside or if dressed confused but she will get there I am not really fussed about it (mainly because I don't have to wipe the floor I guess/admit)
Have fun today! wish I was there.

OK she wants me to play ping pong confused I just need to finished my coffee in peace <whale....>

StoneBaby Wed 06-Jun-12 06:23:24

Have a great day today

Good news on all the potty-training progress!
DD often talks about wearing big girl knickers and using her potty, but it's all talk so far!

Bc sorry you had some gut trouble after dodgy chicken. Glad you're feeling a bit better now. I'll look out for your pm.

BG arf at your DD2! Classic!

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Wed 06-Jun-12 14:07:08

1st sentence is coming out a bit smug, what I meant is that accidents don't always happen.

PenguinArmy Wed 06-Jun-12 14:18:48

I thought about PMing you IC and figured I'd make do with just looking at your pins grin

This morning was great and I very much appreciated being able to host as it made things a lot easier for me. DD also very much enjoyed herself and talking about everyone when she went to bed (she straight off). Still in shock at how heavy other 2 years can be.

PenguinArmy Wed 06-Jun-12 14:20:26

mous not at all. It genuinely is great to hear of others people experiences and this morning has been a good confidence builder for me as well seeing the others.

I've not had a awkward MN meet up, it's amazing how we know each other but don't smile

Fanatic Wed 06-Jun-12 14:41:45

Hello... It's been 2 years... Could I rejoin please? xx

PenguinArmy Wed 06-Jun-12 14:43:49

please do smile

Fanatic Wed 06-Jun-12 15:16:20

How are all the kids doing now Mine is called Faith and she's really mischievous but very clever. She's toilet trained, but been having a few accidents lately which I think might be an attention thing. We've just discovered what a positive impact it has on the kids to eat meals around the table so we're on with that at the moment. Hope you're all well.

Hello Fanatic! smile

Ah...the meet-up... envy
Any piccies..??!

I keep on adding PA, so if you keep an eye out, there's always more accumulating!!
(but I am actually doing a number of the things suggested by my pins - recipes, cleaning techniques etc. etc....I'm finally becoming a domestic goddess!)

StoneBaby Wed 06-Jun-12 19:40:28

IC grin

So how was the meeting up? Did the DC got oon? Did you?

I managed to get DS back on the potty and he produced 2 wees (wake up and before bedtime). In average, how long does your LO goes in between wees? I got the feeling DS is between 2 to 3 hours.

rainbowweaver Wed 06-Jun-12 20:28:33

Welcome fanatic!

Thanks for the invite IC. It is quite a lovely site! If I feel brave enough might give the doctor surgery idea a go.... grin

Looking forward to hearing about the meet up.... Did some baking with DD over the Jubilee weekend, just a modified cake recipe which we then made into cupcakes, but she loved it. Also recommend trying a biscuit recipe. Happy to share link to my recipe blog that i use to sporadically accumulate recipes once I upload those 2 recipes there, if anyone interested.

Well done on all the potty successes!! Very impressed. We've not actively started yet though DD likes to check out what her poo looks like after nappy changes, and she likes sitting on the toilet before bath and flushing it.

PenguinArmy Wed 06-Jun-12 22:49:51

Tomorrow I am going to brave playgroup

just in time for DS to throw a spanner into the wors IC grin

I have DD who is mostly great as long as you keep her active and out the house as long as possible

rainbow how odd, yesterday I started blogging some recipes down although once my staples are up there it probably won't be updated that often.

The meet-up was really easy and relaxed, I think everyone had a great time, although I did offer tea and then forget to actually make it. children did do some interacting with each other but still mostly observing and then commenting on what they did.

Love the pictures!! Sorry I couldn't make it to the meet-up in the end. It just got too complicated....

I've emailed invites to Bc and SB for Pinterest - if they're not in your inbox, check your spam! Have fun smile

Blimey, I don't know what got into DD last evening, but supper onwards was a contradictory gale of mini-tantrums. How DH and I kept our cool, I'm not sure, but somehow we did. I guess she was just tired, she certainly zonked pretty quickly at bedtime.

I've been giving DD a head massage before saying good night and I've noticed we've had a lot less of her staying awake for ages nattering since I've started doing that. Interestingly, I've recently discovered the top of the head is also a prime EFT/tapping point (and I've started gently adding the other tapping points too) - but for whatever reason, it certainly seems to have a wonderful calming effect on DD. I've started encouraging her to do some tapping when she starts to get worried about needing a poo and that seems to be helping too. Useful technique!!

SconesForTea Thu 07-Jun-12 09:24:31

Hi everyone <waves> We've had some disturbed nights with DD2's cold and I'm doing nights and mornings as staying at my mum's without DH so pretty shattered <yawns, looks longingly at bed>

How was the meet up?

No more PT progress here, not that I'm really fussed tbh, I live in hope that it is going to mysteriously 'just happen' without any effort from me blush

Hi to Fanatic

SconesForTea Thu 07-Jun-12 09:27:35

Oh and I'm in awe at you using reusable wipes PA and IC. I'm using disposable nappies while here and it is just so, so, so much easier. I will continue with the cloths at home but I must admit I hate all the extra work involved.

rainbowweaver Thu 07-Jun-12 20:41:02

scones re "it is going to mysteriously 'just happen' without any effort from me". Snap! That is my hope too. grin. It did actually happen for 2 of my friends who waited till after their DDs were 2.5 years to 3 years. Both kids were girls however!

BabyGiraffes Thu 07-Jun-12 21:50:40

Rainbow It happened like that with my dd1 and she was 2.6. I told her I might have to give away her nice girl pants because they didn't fit with a nappy on... She took her nappy off there and then, used the toilet and skipped the potty, and had virtually no accidents ever. Somehow I don't think dd2 will be so accommodating hmm

Bearcrumble Fri 08-Jun-12 11:22:20

Sorry I have come for a moan. Y-day saw mclaren 2011 techno "used twice" for sale on ebay for £100 - sent DH for it (seller 15 mins walk away) - he came back (paid cash) and it was dirty, sticky and with a big rip in the plastic sunshade. I did ask him to check it over so God knows what he was thinking. Blame myself for not going. Keep crying. Waiting to see if seller will be decent and refund us.

BabyGiraffes Fri 08-Jun-12 12:37:28

According to dd2 we are off to 'Mart & Spinster' in a minute. Think she may have misheard that one...

BabyGiraffes Fri 08-Jun-12 13:37:09

Bear - hope you can sort it!

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 08-Jun-12 15:36:10

BC <hugs>

BG your DD2 is amazing!

rainbow that what happens for DD1 still waiting to see if it will click on its own for DD2 <FX>

I went to the hairdresser to cut DD2's hair <sniff> as without the curls they were down her back and far too hot. She cried real tears, and when she got of the seat (the car actually) she tried to put her curls back on her head <resniff> she has a bob with curls coming back <DH is very pleased with it>

PenguinArmy Fri 08-Jun-12 19:14:01

it will be OK mous <gives a little hug>

managed to fit in the library, park and some shops this afternoon so am a bit tired actually

bc hope they do the right thing as well but DH would have probably done the same.

PenguinArmy Fri 08-Jun-12 19:15:20

(he would have assumed that I knew all the facts)

no accidents with me today but as we were all over the place there was a lot of scheduled pottying (i.e. each time when we left)

StoneBaby Fri 08-Jun-12 19:22:24

PA great news about the potty

bc <hugs> hopefully you'll get your money back. We had a bad experience from ebay a month ago when we bought duplo and received dirty megablocks. The seller was adamant they were duplo and did not understand our review!

mous <hugs> DS did the same when his curls went. She'll get used to it soon I hope

Bearcrumble Fri 08-Jun-12 19:39:22

Good news on potty PA.

Mous - hugs to you and your DD. It really pulls at your heartstrings when they cry real tears.

Well it was fine in the end - she accepted that it was damaged and not at all 'nearly new' and gave us our money back. I found another for £120 buy it now a bit further away so Joe took the first one back in the car and went on to pick up the other one which is still in its box and was only used for a couple of holidays. It's very smart. And when he turned up the seller said he'd knock a fiver off as he found a small scratch! It's all registered and has a lifetime warranty so all's well that ends well. I think when you are funtioning at your limit it takes so little to knock you sideways and send you a bit mental. I was crying all morning. Feel daft now.

Now DS has gone to bed so I am going to make white chocolate and creme fraiche icing for the orange sponge sandwich cake I've made for DH's birthday tomorrow. I'm not an expert at sponges, think I've only made two before in my life so no doubt it will be slightly heavier than it should be. I think it takes real skill to fold the egg whites in without breaking them up too much. I said he could choose any cake though and he said he wanted an orange sponge.

I am re-reading The Songlines by Bruce Chatwin. I love (good) travel writing. I really like Paul Theroux's books, especially the long train journeys. I like what a curmudgeon he is.

PenguinArmy Fri 08-Jun-12 19:44:44

well in my head the good potty time doesn't count as it wasn't instigated by her. Am I setting standards too high?

bc you are right about being on the edge. for me it is when things don't go to plan or as expecteed. not having a plan is fine, but if there is one that doesn't pan out, then I have a mini strop need a few mintues to withdraw and regroup. It's easy to lay all responsibilty on your own shoulders, so even when DH messes up I blame myself.

DH better enjoy your cake, I am sure it will be lovely.

BabyGiraffes Fri 08-Jun-12 21:14:34

PA impressed by the potty use and no accident! Inspired by all the stories on here I put dd2 on the potty when I got her ready for bed. Dd1 cheered her on and I think she got stage fright grin, did some pretend straining and a small fart and got up saying 'I can't do it!'... She's probably ready to try without a nappy bit I am not sure I am!!

BBB All well? You've gone very quiet but I hope it's just because you are busy enjoying your time in the Midlands

PenguinArmy Fri 08-Jun-12 21:34:18

well we'll see how tomorrow comes

yes BBB if you are lurking then post, I wanted to wait until you came back but would like to hear if you are OK.

I am now oer my strop at sainsburys for refusing to serve me alcohol. I resisted acting like a prat about it though barely

PenguinArmy Fri 08-Jun-12 21:34:32


BabyGiraffes Fri 08-Jun-12 21:41:39

PA what happened, did they think you looked too young? envy

StoneBaby Fri 08-Jun-12 21:45:04

PA did they challenge 21 on you? grin

BG give it a try but see if you can get DD1 to be less enthousiastic maybe?

BBB You're okay?

DH bought me a 2nd hand iphone today grin I just need to gef a mini sim card now

PenguinArmy Fri 08-Jun-12 21:45:21

I may be young ish but I have the tired face to prove I have two young DCs so should be served on that basis alone grin. It's their 25 policy

rainbowweaver Fri 08-Jun-12 21:45:24

BG and mous can't be coincidence then both yours are also girls.... Good, sounds like scones and I can continue in our no longer vain hope!

PA I've found that a blog is a brilliant place to store recipes, especially with the labels capability. Did Sainbury's refuse to serve because you looked 16? envy

BC SB I have found that in eBay you can normally get eBay to mediate a refund. Don't leave feedback to the seller until after mediation and contacting them/eBay for a refund.

Had an aggravating day at work today where I found out my boss had apparently been hiding information from me. Grr... I'd leave if only i didn't like my job so much, and the trip to work is only 10mins. What would you do if you had a boss that shared only minimal information and you had trust issues with, but was otherwise tolerable? Gah.

BabyGiraffes Fri 08-Jun-12 21:49:47

Bear meant to say glad the pushchair thing was sorted out! That kind of thing really stresses me out and dh usually can't see why I am so wound up.

Rainbow -difficult! Maybe keep your eye open for other jobs?

rainbowweaver Fri 08-Jun-12 21:51:58

On another note DD was absolutely adorable when went to the nursery parents' afternoon. When I got there she saw me then offered me her drink, and asked, "would you like a biscuit, mummy?" then went to get a biscuit for me.

Then when we got home, and some time after DH came back from the supermarket, she asked DH,"daddy, did you buy oranges?" and when DH said "yes, daddy bought lots of oranges for you!", replied "thank you daddy, I love you!". Does she have us round her little finger? grin

BabyGiraffes Fri 08-Jun-12 22:00:22

Yep. She has you all worked out! grin

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Sat 09-Jun-12 06:42:18

PA yes I think your standards are too high (but it seems to be a british thing IME). You have to remind small children to use the toilet and take them at least for the 1st 2 years. It avoids many many accidents, playing is the most important and peeing gets sidetracked easily, and the inevitable "I want to pee now it is urgent" 5 minutes after you left the house and you are stuck in the bus or the subway. So congratulations your DD is potty trained! grin

StoneBaby Sat 09-Jun-12 08:08:20

Have any of you move your DC into a new room recently? Did you do anything to get them use to their new space? DS is changing bedroom on Minday and I'm a bit worried he'll be unsettle confused

StoneBaby Sat 09-Jun-12 18:28:17

Well the pullup that was put on at 6.30am this morning will be reused tomorrow as DS did all his wees in the potty (total of 4) (- no poo today). I'm well pleased but I won't put him in big boys pants yet. I just had the timimg right I guess hmm

How is everybody today?

BabyGiraffes Sat 09-Jun-12 23:42:10

We've not had a washing machine for ten days now (don't ask...) and are still doing okay for clothes... I think that means we own too many things we normally don't wear!

StoneBaby Sun 10-Jun-12 08:09:25

BG 10 days without a washing machine shock but I know what you mean by having too many clothes.

I've tried to get rid of the ones I wear never rarely but I still have too many pairs of jeans but depending on the time of the month some will fit and some don't blush

Rainy day over here so we're going to the pub for some big cleaning!

BabyGiraffes Sun 10-Jun-12 10:39:12

SB to be fair I had washed everything I could find the week we had our British summer <hollow laugh> and dried everything out in the garden, so the wash baskets were empty when the washing machine broke.

BigBadBear Sun 10-Jun-12 10:39:39

Hello everyone!

Sorry for the silence, I have been in the midlands at my parents, and their Internet was down. As my smartphone has packed up, this meant that I didn't have access to Facebook or mumsnet, though I could access my emails if I was very patient. So huge apologies to pa for not turning up last week and not being able to say. The simple reason is that I didn't know the address! I've seen the photos on fb and am sad we missed it, but hopefully there will be other opportunities in the future.

Despite the lack of Internet and the hideous weather, we had a nice time in the midlands. In particular, the DDs enjoyed spending time with their cousins, and I even managed to get a couple of trips out with my sister after bedtime as my parents were happy to listen for the girls.

bear glad your eBay pushchair situation resolved amicably. I agree that tiredness definitely makes such situations stressful, but I would have been anxious about it too. Like sb I had an eBay problem a few months ago when someone sold me megabloks claiming they were duplo. The seller got quite nasty and aggressive, and though I did everything I was supposed to do and kept my dignity throughout, it made me feel quite anxious.

bg I wonder if your washing machine has broken down in sympathy with ic's...

Sounds like toilet training is coming along for many of us. Dd2 is doing really well, though unlike mous I have always encouraged my girls to take the lead on deciding when to go rather than prompting them. I guess it depends on the child.

<waves to everyone and apologises again for being incommunicado while being very touched at the concern shown>

PenguinArmy Sun 10-Jun-12 13:24:28

BBB I'm really sorry I didn't message out my address sooner (like when you originally asked)

BabyGiraffes Sun 10-Jun-12 14:34:40

BBB I've done similar with dd1 and she was very much in charge of when she wanted to use the loo at home. I did usually send her just before going out though and at 3 they seem to be able to go 'in advance', something they can't do at 2.

PenguinArmy Sun 10-Jun-12 14:37:34

<breathes deeply>

only a few more hours until MIL goes home

StoneBaby Sun 10-Jun-12 14:44:31

PA have some wine

BabyGiraffes Sun 10-Jun-12 15:03:51

PA have lots of wine grin then say you feel a bit woozy and go and lie down grin

BigBadBear Sun 10-Jun-12 17:38:41

Don't be silly PA, you weren't to know that I wouldn't be able to get online for nearly a week before the planned meet up! Normally the internet there is fine (though many of us have tried to sort out wifi and have failed miserably) and I wasn't able to spend much time sorting it out as their PC is in the room where the girls sleep. I did manage to get it working just before I left so I could check the traffic and book my parents flights to Sweden for a family do <angelic emoticon>.

Hope you have survived this afternoon with your MIL PA. We have had a trying day, first with DD1 who took over an hour to get dressed this morning (the irrationality of a five year old) and then DD2 who spent a lot of the afternoon crying and had her first proper wee accident. After quite a while, we twigged that she has a tooth coming through and gave her some Calpol and now she is a different child <bad mother emoticon>.

Now I am trying to sort out things for our (DH, DD1 and me) trip to the Harry Potter studio tour tomorrow. I think I am going to make DD1 choose her clothes tonight to avoid a repeat of this morning's performance....

BabyGiraffes Sun 10-Jun-12 17:52:31

Sigh, I wish I had a two year old's energy, enthusiasm, curiosity and excitement. Dd2 was literally breathless with excitement when dd1 showed her a secret path in the park smile

Meet up pics look great!

You got refused service for alcohol, PA? envy
Hope you got some in the end - sounds like you needed it with your MIL's visit....
Potty training! Most impressed!

BG boo about the washing machine - I hope you can get it sorted fairly painlessly (and soon).

Bc good stuff on sorting the pushchair conundrum. Your cake looks ace on FB - I'm sure your DH must have enjoyed it hugely!

Mous aw (goodbye curls) - it's such a rite of passage, isn't it?!

I'm enjoying seeing you all turning up on Pinterest! Hope you're finding it useful. I'm using my pinned suggestion of a teaspoon of (raw) honey mixed with cinnamon to help see off DD's latest cold. She had a couple of unsettled nights, but hasn't seemed unduly poorly with it during the day. Mind you, after taking until gone 11pm to settle last night (just because of being bunged up, then coughing every time she lay on her back - which was often) we had tantrums galore this morning. I really lost it at one stage (my sleep not only disrupted by DD's cold, but I'm getting to that stage of pregnancy when it's getting rather uncomfortable on my hips, so I'm waking early and tossing and turning rather than getting plenty of restful sleep) so I wasn't in a good place to deal with DD's tiredness. Thankfully, DH held it together reasonably well and she was fine for the rest of the day, cold already seems to be much better. FX for a better night tonight.

Went to see Phantom of The Opera with MIL and SIL on Friday night - which was a treat, except the show really wasn't my cup of tea. Couldn't fault the production - great set and costumes, well-played and sung by the cast - but I found the music uninteresting and overblown, the libretto pants, the story ungripping and the operetta singing-style simply not to my taste. And I usually love musicals! Preferred JC Superstar and Evita.
Nice to have a night out, though! Young Jesus Fosbury found it very exciting and kicked enthusiastically throughout.

BabyGiraffes Mon 11-Jun-12 08:41:07

I love the way dd2 processes new words by using them as often as she can. This morning's word she likes is 'hope' so I got 'I hope this is mine' when she chose a skirt to wear grin. It cracks me up every time.

Bearcrumble Mon 11-Jun-12 22:04:05

Sorry - just a quick one. We did our first day settling in at a preschool today but I have some worries about it. Did a thread in 'nurseries' here but wondered what you all think? I am really not sure if I'm being precious and seeing problems where there aren't any (or very small) or if it really is not good enough.

BabyGiraffes Mon 11-Jun-12 22:30:43

BC replied on other thread <hugs>

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Tue 12-Jun-12 06:19:13

BC I let DD1 play with tins and don't see the problem, yes they are heavy but no sharp edges (providing the children don't start a war with them). I would have a problem if they were emptied and not smooth.

The balcony would worry me, but I would be really concerned if they actually used a stairgate, as it give a false sense of security (DD2 can easily climb over it while they are attending some nappy change or something). Both staff and children would be safer if there is none and constant supervision. (eg staff sitting on the chairs blocking the stairs).
Thinking about it if it is a removable stairgate DD2 can probably rip it off too.
I don't think stairgates are the answer for children about 1.5 yo. They work only for small babies.

The staff must know that being on a balcony is not safe and will probably be super cautious.
Is there any chairs, toys, boxes that the children can use as steps to climb over the balustrade? Is the railing narrow enough so their heads can't go through? Is the railing horizontal? (It would be my main concern, you should see how they build stairs cases and balcony here shock)

Ask more questions? may be ask if you can observed one session?

BG is wright follow your instincts.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Tue 12-Jun-12 06:19:31

wright? right grin

I'll go and take a look at your thread, Bc.

Strange new phobia here - I was repeating a story DD had heard while at toddler group involving saying "tick tock, tick tock" loudly at one point - she freaked! Not sure why it upset her so much, but she kept saying to me "no tick tock, Mummy" afterward. Toddlers do have some odd and unexpected fears!

Bearcrumble Tue 12-Jun-12 08:12:29

Thanks so much both of you - I do feel like I am doing it for myself rather than him I guess as 6 weeks is not long enough to settle properly and I worry it will cloud the experience of the lovely preschool when he starts in Sept if he's had a not so good experience.

They said one of them is out there at all times when the kids are playing out. As there are so few children at the mo I think it is v unlikely one would escape unnoticed. I might try and grab a photo of the railings and post it on the group so you can give your verdict.

The two girls who work there are nice but not very animated, not particularly 'up', didn't try to make the kids laugh. I was sitting in the toy kitchen bit and pretending everything was hot and burning my fingers and all the kids were in hysterics - I actually had all 7 of them crowded round me. I feel like although they were warm, they weren't connecting in a particularly fun way. The kids were a bit listless.

It's so hard having a baby and a toddler - I feel like I should be coping better as I have the help from my mum who has DS one and a half days a week and DH who works from home and helps with breakfast and looks after them while I cook dinner. I feel like I'm being selfish and lazy wanting another 6 hours without DS and I worry that he will feel shoved aside.

I had thought that the baby would nap a lot and I could spend more time just with DS but she cries as soon as I put her down and DS is so exuberant (noisy) he wakes her up if she does drop off.

She sleeps in a sling which is ok if we're walking but I can't really sit down comfortably. I love playing with DS but it is much harder with a baby that wants to be on me all the time. I feel like I'm there for her physically (arms and boobs) but mentally it's all about DS - talking and watching him and neither them nor I get all of each other very often. When mum has him I catch up with housework and cooking - I'm lucky if I get to have a quick bath with DD because I can't do anything except childcare when I have them both. I'm so happy when I get to do something with one of them on their own.

DH tried to give DD a bottle of expressed milk last night but in his words it "freaked her out" and she wouldn't take it.

Sorry for huge moan. I know how lucky I am to have 2 when I thought I never would - I wouldn't have it any other way and TTSP.

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 12:30:18

Dd2's phrase of the day is 'one day' but she is struggling to get it into sentences... Just got 'Do you want to sleep one day on the floor,yeah?' grin said to her soft toy while she was lying on a cushion on the kitchen floor. (think she might fancy a nap today!)

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 12:32:27

Gosh she IS funny. Gave her a big kiss on her cheek just now and she said 'That's eating me'.. (it was just a kiss, honestly! grin)

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 12:37:32

BC there is nothing wrong with sending ds to play group for you to have a rest from him! Please don't feel guilty! I did the same and dd1 really enjoyed having a break from me and the baby and I was a calmer mother for only having one baby for a few hours.
Things will get much easier, I promise. Your two are both at an age where they both need a lot of attention. In years to come they will play together while you sit with a cup of tea watching your marvellous children smile

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 12:46:22

Dd2 on a roll today... I think spending this half term playing with her sister has increased her English vocabulary. I put her in her cot just now (hopeful...) and she called me back 'Mama, something else...' but then had nothing to say!!grin

PenguinArmy Tue 12-Jun-12 12:47:33

bc welcome to the world of two children, you are not unusual or not coping, just this is the reality.

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 12:56:37

Small apology for raving about dd2's speaking... I find it completely fascinating how a child develops normally because dd1 got glue ear aged one, spoke gibberish for nearly two years, and has only just in the past six months caught up with how she should speak for someone who's about to turn 5. She's still behind in some ways (struggles to use past tense and mispronounces some words) but it is less noticeable.

SconesForTea Tue 12-Jun-12 13:41:32

bc big, big hugs. It is SO hard having two young'uns and you are doing brilliantly even if you don't feel like you are. Of course you are not being selfish and lazy. Your DS will love the nursery (will post on that thread in a minute) and his preschool when he goes there. And you really do need a break from having two, especially if DD is a velcro baby. DD2 was a really easy baby, I could put her down and leave her for ages and she would amuse herself, and I STILL found it (find it hmm) really really tough. For me it's the constant nappy change feed nappy change solid food nappy change story nappy change aaargh! Just no time to sit down, have a cup of tea and regroup. Let alone housework, what's that?! I cook dinner when both DDs are in bed and we eat at 9pm these days confused

I had a good week at mum's, apart from the bad nights, and am having a good week here so far so am touching wood that my mood is improving. I certainly look back on my sobbing to DH a couple of weeks ago that I wanted to give them up for adoption with hmm. Of course moving home hasn't helped, and there is always work to do in the house in the evenings and at the weekends and DH leaves dangerous stuff lying about which doesn't help. But there is nothing really I can put my finger on which makes/made it so bad; when I try to explain to DH it just sounds like I'm whinging or like I'm a spoilt brat. So I really do understand when you say you feel like you're being selfish and lazy, I feel like I've been a hugely overreacting primadonna but I honestly have felt unable to cope some days.

There is a charity round here called Homestart which offers support to families, they said my situation is exactly the type they reach out to which surprised me as on paper I'm 'fine' (no real money worries so long as DH keeps his job, no SS concerns etc). But it's the fact that having 2 very young DCs is incredibly stressful and they want to offer help before it turns into depression or something else. They are sending round a volunteer 2 hours a week just to chat or to play with DCs while I do some housework etc. I'm really excited at the chance to do house work uninterruped (true). Can you see if there's anything like that in your area?

Sorry for the essay. My heart goes out to you bc because I have found having two so very tough (and also incredibly lovely of course). I know what you mean about giving emotional to DC1 and physical to DC2. Don't worry, it was exactly the same for me and once the DC2 starts to need the emotional they start demanding it too, when they get a bit bigger. Then it's trying to read stories to two at once....!

BG I love hearing about all DD2's little foibles! She sounds so cute! I wonder if we can all meet up some time <dreams> Maybe when I get my driving confidence (at some unspecified time in the future) I will drive to join one.

DD2 is at the ILs today and DD1 asleep hence megapost. One more potty wee from DD1 but I have not started PT yet. Now I'm blaming the cold weather wink I'll be washing two sets of nappies for a while yet I think.

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 13:42:20

Well, no nap forthcoming... sad. I lived in hope because somehow dh got her to sleep at lunchtime at the weekend!

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 13:55:14

dd2 is having an interesting conversation with her grandma (on a toy phone) grin. I'm selling our baby monitor but wonder whether I should keep it just to eavesdrop on her playing in her room!

Bearcrumble Tue 12-Jun-12 14:18:03

Have to cook dinner but wanted to quickly say he was fine when I left him for his 2 hours alone today. Going back to get him for 3.30.

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 14:32:16

BC fx smile

dd2 just bumped into somthing and told me 'My tummy can't see!' grin

BigBadBear Tue 12-Jun-12 14:34:08

bear please don't feel guilty at sending your DS to nursery and don't feel bad about finding it difficult. It is bl00dy hard work having two young kids, particularly when your DD is quite clingy. I completely understand how frustrating it must feel that you can't really put her down and how you feel guilty at not being able to do things with DS. But it will get easier as time goes by, it really will.

In the meantime, scones idea is worth a try. Please do find out if you have such a thing near you and access it if you can. I wish someone had been able to come and help me, as I had many many days when I felt as you do now - functional with the newborn and just about coping with the toddler. I did what I suspect you are doing now - putting on an excellent party face while in public, but actually finding it tough in private. But do what you need to do to get through it, and don't feel bad about it.

scones hope the service you have accessed is as good as it sounds. I'm almost jealous!

BG I love hearing about your DD2's speech and idiosyncrasies! I too wish that one day we could all meet up...

IC have your nights got better?

PA have you recovered from your MIL's visit?

mous how are things with you?

Had a lovely day yesterday at the Harry Potter studio tour. I'd definitely recommend it if you are a saddo fan like me. DD1 loved it and I quietly bought a couple of things in the very expensive gift shop for her birthday and Christmas later this year.

Has anyone got any exciting plans for father's day?

Bearcrumble Tue 12-Jun-12 14:38:49

Oh and today when DD said "ah-goo" or something similar DS said she was "speaking baby French"!! grin

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 14:40:08


Bearcrumble Tue 12-Jun-12 15:09:42

Right - off to pick him up now.

PenguinArmy Tue 12-Jun-12 15:14:57

yes all recovered, although next visit is only 4 weeks away and if for three days. they seemed even odder this time. Everything I said to DD was respoken by her and they wouldn't even let me get her ready, despite the fact that I am the one who knows where everything is and the sooner she is ready the sooner they had her all to herself.

They still do their thing or feeding her, apparently on their short 2.5 hour trip to the park they had a picnic (a way of MIL feeding her loads of ham and beef sandwiches). At one point when Dh was getting DS to sleep, I spent my time being ignored in the front room apart from demands to photo's on memory stick as quality online is to poor to print. Then yesterday we received a odd email.

DS was ill, almost better now so that provided enough distraction.

DS still isn't a content baby now which is what i find sometimes hard. I just have days where I wish i could put him down for more than a few minutes. However if are out or I have guests round then he is easily entertained.

PenguinArmy Tue 12-Jun-12 15:15:28

oh, had the interview today, don't think it went very well

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 15:18:41

PA are they just odd or could they be having early dementia symptoms? Just reading your post has made me go angry angry and I am pretty sure I would NOT let them go anywhere with my child on their own. Least of all because if you are normally vegan/vegetarian and wolf down a hamburger you can end up feeling really quite ill!

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 15:19:25

PA fingers crossed about the interview, you never know...

Bearcrumble Tue 12-Jun-12 16:50:39

PA I think you are a saint the way you put up with their oddness/rudeness. Agree with BG re the semi-forced meat eating. What did the email say?

DS was fine at nursery. Key worker said v. confident, no tears. Asked for me a few times but was told I had gone to the shops and was satisfied. When I turned up he shouted mummy and ran over for cuddles. Said it was fun and asked me what I had in my pockets (yes, haribo).

Have made vegan chili for dinner (recipe from IC's pinterest I think) acozykitchen.com/spicy-vegan-chili/.

StoneBaby Tue 12-Jun-12 18:41:04

You've been busy!!

Well DS is full on PT as I told nursery yesterday to put him on the potty every 2.3 hours - resulting in 3 wees in the potty yesterday and 4 today!! grin I'm well pleased it's working.

PA angry at your ILs. What was thew email? (soory too curious). Maybe the interview went better that you think?

bc can't comment on the 2 children situation but <hugs>. I'll have a look at your nursery thread.

IC how is you DD's cold? Have you manage to get some sleep?

BG I'm soo impressed by your DD2 speech and extend vocabulary. DS is no where near having a conversation in French or English.

PenguinArmy Tue 12-Jun-12 19:53:32

you see, they manage to wind me up but I always think I am reacting over nothing. glad you think otherwise. I have to say they seemed to up the ignoring ante and the repeating what I said and taking over left me cold. No dementia, they are mid 50's I believe, not a reason by itself, but they are clearly fine. The email was

Hi DH and PA

Just to say we had a lovely time yesterday and it was fabulous to spend some time with the children who are delightful.

Is DS any better, it was heartbreaking to see him looking so poorly, I hope he is on the mend.

Look forward to spending a few days in early July with you. We have booked the Travel Lodge now, and will Skype again Sunday.

Hugs and Kisses for DS and DD
Love Mum

not even sure why it seemed odd. I think the implication they don't normally have a good time (DD has been ill a few times or the weather was wet so they didn't take her out) or that they couldn't tell us in person or just tell us we are doing a good job?

On the plus side they showed concern for DS (although some of that was guilt -they took him in the stroller for his nap while DD slept, decided he was hot so undid his coat and he came back shivering and cold for ages)

potty training is going well here, no accidents again yesterday. Two little ones today, one being too excited to sit down in time and other she was generally being contrary while out playing and denied she needed it). I can't believeSB that your DS goes every 2-3 hours, DD is a little and often kinda girl. At home I have her in a dress (leggings on to go outside),the knickers often come off but she generally goes and sits on the potty as required and then attempts to carry on playing (i then remind her to wipe etc). This is obviously great for when I have hands full with DS.

Did anyone else notice increased soreness on potty training? I'm getting her to use wet wipes now, guessing it is to do with wee getting about more.

bc glad DS had a good time, surely that counts for a lot? we had falafel and baba ganoush again today, hopefully load the recipe up this weekend.

IC i hope you have had the required energy to deal with DD this week
<end long post>

BBB how are things with DH currently?

bg not long until you start work now?

Hello to scones do keep posting, especially if they are just moaning

beth DD still mentions DS2 by name a lot

<end long post with waves to everyone else>

PenguinArmy Tue 12-Jun-12 19:56:10

wonders about random extra <end long post> up there

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 19:59:11

PA well they don't exactly beat about the bush when it comes to telling you they only come to see the children and couldn't care less about you and dh. What unpleasant people.

Re work I am currently in denial and wish I had not applied or withdrawn my application (I very nearly did). It all seems so complicated! confused

PenguinArmy Tue 12-Jun-12 20:01:36

oh bg you do make me feel better grin

it will be fine

<continues sticking fingers in ears about my own job situation>

Dh has sent me to bed with orders to MN and watch telly smile

PenguinArmy Tue 12-Jun-12 20:06:07

what didn't help this morning was forgetting to try on my outfit at the weekend, so today I discovered my only pair of smart trousers (that i wore when I visited that company) were far too big, requiring some severe belting and a longer than planned top.

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 20:13:08

I was a bit shock when my new boss suggested that I am supposed to work 50% hours randomly spread over the week whenever I am needed hmm I had asked to work Mon to Wed and already have to pay 3 days child care (for two children in school holidays) but only get paid 2 1/2 days... So this is impossible. Don't think she has children... I've confirmed nursery days now and will see how it goes confused

PenguinArmy Tue 12-Jun-12 20:15:41

even without the childcare, your commute is enough to make that enough of a hassle

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 20:23:36

PA exactly. And if they had told me in the interview that although the job is 50% but I'd have to be available 100% I would have politely declined the job offer.
I'm probably over thinking this but clear communication is moot their strong point. I have compulsory training next week but have no idea where when how long...

BabyGiraffes Tue 12-Jun-12 20:24:55

'not' not 'moot' angry phone!

StoneBaby Tue 12-Jun-12 20:47:53

BG if it's too much of a hassle, tell them you have reconsider the job and can't make it if they change the rules hmm

PA for sure they don't seem to act as if they care/worry about you and your DH

bc good news about the settle session going well. DS enjoys playing with full tins (out of the cpboard in the kitchen while trying to open the crackers box or bisto jar shock )

StoneBaby Tue 12-Jun-12 20:56:08

DS 2nd night in his new room and fx he has settled well. I can decide if I need to add blackout curtains to his already blacked lined curtains as the room seems clearer than his previous one. I'll see if I can find some 2nd hand one as I don't want to spend yet more money.

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Wed 13-Jun-12 06:14:16

BG did you post in employment issues? It sounds weirdly familiar (if not somebody else on MN seems to be having the same problem as you!)

SB IME it is too late for blackout blinds. Both DDs are now scared if they wake up in total darkness and won't go back to sleep on their own, a bit of light and they can self settle. (DD2 has been needing some kind of light for a few months now)

PA I don't see anything wrong with that email. confused
I hope the job goes well? How many interviews are you suppose to get with them?

<waves to all>
did we lose bee and fan?

BabyGiraffes Wed 13-Jun-12 08:09:53

Mous pooh, I'll have a look in employment. Wasn't me posting there.

BabyGiraffes Wed 13-Jun-12 08:10:46

Argh, oooh not pooh!!! Flippin' phone

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Wed 13-Jun-12 08:35:43


PenguinArmy Wed 13-Jun-12 09:02:36

mous there is nothing rude or overtly wrong, I just thought it was a odd tone. No thanks, no addressing DH and nothing like this said in person, so it is not like niceities missed here were said in RL. Anyway I know I am sensitive and the letter itself didn't upset me, just came across as odd.

hope everyone has a nice day, would comment to you but DCs are wreaking the place.

Bearcrumble Wed 13-Jun-12 11:27:48

I agree, there was nothing about how nice it was to see you/DH, no 'thank you for having us' and I feel there was an implication that DS's illness was somehow your fault (although I am queen of reading things into things so could well not be the case).

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Wed 13-Jun-12 12:09:07

see I disagree! but may be it is my foreign genes and I am not reading into english subtlety.

Hi DH and PA

Just to say we had a lovely time yesterday <i.e. thanks> and it was fabulous to spend some time with the children <we miss them> who are delightful <you are raising them well>.

Is DS any better, it was heartbreaking to see him looking so poorly, I hope he is on the mend. <concern for their GC, that is all, and asking for progress report as would any GP do>

Look forward to spending a few days in early July with you <all of you as a family>. We have booked the Travel Lodge now, and will Skype again Sunday.

Hugs and Kisses for DS and DD <say hello to the DC for me>

Love Mum

even more confused

BabyGiraffes Wed 13-Jun-12 12:18:19

Dd2 came back from a settling in session at nursery saying 'Mama, I am soo sweet! grin Hope it doesn't go to her head to be adored by the nursery staff...

PenguinArmy Wed 13-Jun-12 12:40:13

that's because you foreigners are direct and don't deal in passive agressive shit grin. I prefer the blunt approach myself.

The skype call is the DD show, if DS moves in front of her they complain and they don't let DH talk unless it's answering questions about DD and then it is not always guaranteed. Anyway i should stop talking about it now. I remain polite and they still get what they want so it doesn't matter anyway.

BabyGiraffes Wed 13-Jun-12 13:52:19

PA well, I am foreign but read it in the light of what you have reported about them before (eg totally ignoring you), so I think it is pretty rude. And what's that bizarre thing of repeating everything you say to your dd? Are they parrots? And they refuse to speak to their own son? hmm

Mous Found the thread in employment you were referring to and now feel very nervous. Appears that employers can do that to you, to ask for random days/hours as long as they give you enough notice. Find it a bit shocking because it discriminates against people with children, especially those who have no family like us. What do they expect me to do? Take a two year old to work with me? Wonder why I bother... (Rant over, sorry)

Isn't there a short cooling off period with new employment, BG? So if it does turn out to be impossible for you to manage you could back out again?
<possibly talking out of arse...>
Your DD2 is hilarious!!

PA I think your ILs are very poor communicators. It's possible they meant their email to read as Mous interpreted it, but it could be taken in any number of ways. I'm not surprised it gets your goat when they're shoving meat sandwiches in your DD's face - personally I'm fairly laid back about whether my DD wants to try meat or fish when she's out and about, but I think it shows a fundamental lack of respect for you when your own ILs ignore your dietary preferences.
FX about the job - it may have gone better than you thought.
And babaganoush - mmm!!

Thanks for the concern for our nights BBB and others! Thankfully, DD's cold didn't get too bad and after three days later is all but gone again (whether it's the honey and cinnamon anti-viral combo or the strength of her her own immune system, who can say?). DD slept through last night, although woke with the screaming abdabs the night before, for some reason. Took a while to calm her down.
The poo-phobia has been much better lately, thankfully.

SB we haven't bothered with blackout curtains this year and DD's sleep patterns are unaffected. But if you want to give them a go, charity shops are often a great source of cheap curtainage.

Scones that Homestart thing sounds great!
<makes mental note>
I'm glad you're starting to feel a bit better, even if it's fits and starts. Have you thought of giving EFT tapping a try? It often works even if people think it's BS and as all the info about how you do it is available for free online, you don't have to shell out any money to have a go with it. I'm finding it very helpful in all sorts of ways. Plus it's very quick and easy!

Bc I think you're outlining the classic conundrum of the second-time mum.
<quails slightly at what's in store> So try not to give yourself a hard time. DD was a velcro baby, so I can sympathise with the problems of having a moment to yourself and any time with DS alone.

Not much else to report here. I'm having fun making various recipes I've found on Pinterest (to great acclaim from DH and DD too!) - yesterday I did vegan strawberry "mousse" and instant banana "ice-cream" for pudding - very popular!!

Jesus Fosbury is kicking away, all fine at last MW appointment, eek I'm virtually in the last quarter now. Where did the time go?
Slight bummer with the move - mortgage won't now be available until Aug 1st when we were hoping to complete on June 29th. It doesn't jeopardise the purchase, but we'd love to be in well before August so we can get settled ahead of time. Ah well. We might be able to work something out.

PenguinArmy Wed 13-Jun-12 19:26:04

DD walked to and from playgroup today (nearly mile each way) without wanting to get into buggy. Also did 2 hours in the park this afternoon and 30 mins playing with the neighbours children. it is fair to say she went to bed quite tired.

maybe they will let you pay rent and you promise to do no renovations before completion IC. When is your due date? We should stop this moving around when pg marlarky wink I would say lesson learned for next time but I really doubt a next time.

Despite trying to ignore it i am now worrying about the next visit. two of the days will be while dh is at work. I'm just not comfortable with the expectation that they arrive and then get exclusive access to DCs but then also not sure why and what's the alternative? We only tried once going out them and us when DD was younger, we learned to not try again. They want to take her possibly him out for each half day session, they will also want to insist me and DH go out for a meal. Nice enough in theory but (i) me and DH don't want to blush but mainly (ii) DS is still quite hard to get to sleep. I get that they'll keep DD up but understand it's just one night and she's old enough now. Generally I am unfussed regarding the meat thing, they however see it as their personal mission to fill her up on meat at every visit. The picnic wasn't even mentioned until after the fact (I would have said yes anyway).

PenguinArmy Wed 13-Jun-12 19:26:36

oh IC when is your due date again?

BabyGiraffes Wed 13-Jun-12 19:48:45

PA Your children, your rules! You don't HAVE to give them access to your children at all.
Surprised you are not that fussed about the meat thing. I would be livid if my mum went behind my back like that. That's quite different to my dds trying meat at a birthday party for example (dd1 had a nibble at a sausage once and thought it was inedible, but then ate a piece of ham sandwich... she survived).

PenguinArmy Wed 13-Jun-12 20:06:21

i mean like you, if she is at parties/dinner out etc then fine but then how can you tell them the purposefully giving them meat is not appreciated when you allow it at odd times. I want to say something but not sure how to give a suitable reason. if they try the picnic again then i'll just say to stick to fruit as othewise she won't eat dinner.

my thoughts with not giving them DD(/DS) is then what happens? I get ignored in my own house again

BabyGiraffes Wed 13-Jun-12 20:58:48

PA Just as well I have no in-laws....grin I would tell them where to go if they ignored me!

Jesus Fosbury's advent is Aug 26th PA.
I like the "fruit only" plan - that's a tactful way of not turning it into an issue (and if they ignore that, they really are out of order...)

BabyGiraffes Wed 13-Jun-12 22:01:43

IC That is so soon! How did that happen? grin keeping my fx there are no more glitches in moving house...

StoneBaby Thu 14-Jun-12 06:44:12

IC fx you'll find a housing solution soon.

PA I'll too be well annoyed if my DM or ILs were to feed DS stuff he's not allowed (mainly sweets in his case)

bc did you had a good birthday?

My mum is over this week so DS is off nursery. I'm going to buy blackout curtains as DS takes time (1 hour) to fall asleep now comparing to 15mn in his former darker room.

Time to go to work. Have a good day

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Thu 14-Jun-12 07:14:19

<DS takes time (1 hour) to fall asleep now comparing to 15mn in his former darker room> that is completely normal SB and it will last until they drop the nap completely. DD1 talked/sang to herself for at least 2 hours in bed before falling asleep until 2.8. DD2 is "chatting' for 1/2h (1h max but she goes to bed later).
IME (friends as well, because just DD1 is too small a sample grin), they fall asleep in 5 sec. once they drop the nap. Sometime before you have time to put them to bed wink

PA I am borderline on the spectrum I have no understanding of subtlety and take what is said or written at face value until someone teaches me the underlying text and then I am confused.

iC hope you sort your house soon.

DD goes to sleep much more quickly since I started giving her a head massage at bedtime... and she still has a one-hourish nap at lunchtime. Worth a try?!

PenguinArmy Thu 14-Jun-12 13:00:34

do you have shares in head massaging IC grin

is DH hoping that you will be late enough to get a September birthday? Guess he will be starting his job in the really early days.

we will have to meet up again before he arrives

DH wants JF to arrive early so he can spend a bit of time with him before his job starts on Sept 1st...!

Would be lovely to meet up - depending on move plans etc, we might be able to manage something very early in July......

There are loads of calming acupressure points on the head, I've discovered - must be why even my completely untutored technique seems to have an effect!!! Friends can have a freebie..... x

DD just ate some petit pois!! And a cheesy quinoa "burger" (which included spring onions and courgette in its ingredients). Supper triumph!!
<fans self>

StoneBaby Thu 14-Jun-12 20:19:41

IC yepee

DS went down without messing about and was quiet within 10mn! But I did put blackout curtains up tonight so fx it has sorted it...

PenguinArmy Thu 14-Jun-12 22:42:04

petit pois peas (I refuse to eat others blush) are the only guaranteed veg for DD.

I took her to feed the ducks this afternoon and she made me laugh and smile so much smile

IC I assume DH is not entitled to paternity then. I think DH was allowed unpaid leave but he took holiday (although obviously your DH can't use that option himself). Do you extra support coming for you?

BabyGiraffes Thu 14-Jun-12 23:10:45

I had a meeting until nearly 9pm hmm (not new job, other stuff I do voluntarily)but came back to the lovely sound of a washing machine!! Spare part costing 7 pounds seems to have done the trick fx <shoos off MN jinx> Nearly three weeks washing to catch up on so first load is in the dryer, second load in the washing machine and third load ready to go in first thing in the morning...

PenguinArmy Thu 14-Jun-12 23:22:49

oh BG the lives we lead grin

night all

StoneBaby Fri 15-Jun-12 06:53:45

great news BG

BabyGiraffes Fri 15-Jun-12 07:07:09

PA grin

Yay for the fixed washing machine, BG!!

PA that's right, DH is not entitled to paternity leave because he will only just have started the job. Our Spanish au pair leaves at the beginning of Sept, but by then PILs will be back and I'm sure FIL in particular will be able to help. Also my mum will roll up around then too and she's a helpful soul, so should be okay smile

PenguinArmy Fri 15-Jun-12 12:25:47

I had a asthma attack at playgroup today, thankfully two DCs are now in bed and am going round to my neighbours this afternoon.

BabyGiraffes Fri 15-Jun-12 13:05:26

PA sad Maybe worth having your meds reassessed?

PenguinArmy Fri 15-Jun-12 13:29:01

don't think so. I had one last week but they were the first ones I had in ages. Plus they have been triggered by the weather.

feeling better now, finally caught my almost full breath back.

DD had an accident at toys, just didn't want to leave what she was doing. plus at playgroups the toilet is a lot further away than the potty (or even the toilet) we use at home.

BabyGiraffes Fri 15-Jun-12 15:00:32

Going away for the weekend and was surprised that the only baby related stuff I packed were a handful of nappies... grin Our baby days are over hmm

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 15-Jun-12 15:03:54

yep no baby anymore! not sure wether to be sad or grin...

PA hope you are better

BabyGiraffes Fri 15-Jun-12 19:00:58

Just been out for a meal and dd2 behaved like a little lady. Feel a bit guilty that we rarely go out anyone with two dc sad

BabyGiraffes Fri 15-Jun-12 19:57:37

'anymore' I hate this phone. Girls are in bunk beds and both are really excited so it could be a while to get them to sleep...

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Fri 15-Jun-12 23:19:17

Hi all. Working every night at the mo (and watching the footie tonight). Another 2-3 weeks of work and then more time to myself until September. Just wanted to say hi and I'm still alive. Glad DD still talks about DS2 PA! My two were talking about 'the girls' yesterday too. Sorry to hear about the inlaws and asthma - both problems I can relate to.
Will reply to the rest of you at a more sociable hour, although we're going to the Forest of Dean tomorrow, so probably not until next week. Sorry to be rubbish!

PenguinArmy Sat 16-Jun-12 09:24:17

DD is currently doing an assault course round the front room which consists of

jump off chair, under highchair and come out at the 90 degree exit, jump over horse, run a full circle around the potty, arms up and touch toes and run to the patio door to retrieve fox.

BabyGiraffes Sat 16-Jun-12 09:51:47

Dd2 admired all the wonderful things on offer for breakfast in the hotel and then chose exactly what she would have at homegrin

PenguinArmy Sat 16-Jun-12 14:45:18

survival sorry to hear your nights are so busy but hope you get some good down time

scones i meant to say that actually I find reusable wipes easier and it has been great. Just sorry I didn't do it before and dreading the hemming session that will be required with my sewing machine, but I doubt I will do that until at least next weekend and having watched a few youtube videos

Also, DD not being in many nappies has made a massive difference. before stuffing nappies felt like a big chore, although not reduced quite in half, the number is much more manageable and can be done as and when. Also as we have a lot more nappies to use there isn't the time imperative.

Bearcrumble Sat 16-Jun-12 15:05:55

BG I am sorry they're now moving the goalposts over the job. Have you made a decision over whether to tell them to stuff it if those are their actual conditions? Hurrah for functioning washing machine. I think I need to start using Calgon, live in hard water area and have had this machine for three years and I've noticed the drawer is clogging up a bit and not all the softener goes down.

Hope your weekend away is going well.

Scones Homestart sound great - I know what you mean about looking forward to doing housework uninterrupted. I think with my mum's help and the two sessions of nursery it would be taking the piss a bit to ask for help from them on top, but if I didn't have the other support I definitely would.

PA You can never tell how you've come across and I'm sure they didn't notice the clothing issue. Good luck, I'm positive you did well. Sorry about the asthma attack - how scary - hope you are ok now.

I can understand why you are worrying already about the next visit. They certainly aren't soothing company. It would totally get my back up to be ignored in my own home.

We are at a sort of stalemate with my PILs - FIL refuses to come to London and DH can't spare the time to go up to Norfolk (nor can I face taking toddler/baby combo to a house that is not geared up for them) so we get occassional visits from MIL which is fine, she's lovely although a little sugary-sweet about everything but if my only complaint is that she over-praises everything it's not really a complaint is it?

SB For my DS blackout blinds work. We put them up when the mornings were getting light super early and he was waking unusally early and he stopped and went back to his normal time. Then he started waking early again so I put parcel tape around the edges and he went back to sleeping 11 to 12 hours so I am certain it was the light waking him.

Yes I had a lovely birthday thanks although 39 feels awfully old! Mum had DS and we went up to town with DD in sling and had Japanese lunch which she slept through (we had glass of champagne each) and did a bit of shopping. She woke only to feed and get her nappy changed in the big baby changing + feeding room in House of Fraser in Oxford St then went straight back to sleep until we got home.

IC Hope you get the housing issue sorted. PA's idea is good unless of course the vendors need the money to move into their new place. Thanks for hugs and good pins to read. x

Survival Hi <waves> good to hear from you. Hope you have fun in the Forest of Dean.

I didn't have a very good night's sleep last night, so I've been a bit less patient with DS. He is really into whinging at the moment. Repeating himself eg "I want something to eat" ad nauseum or even just making a whinging noise and doing grabby hands at the cupboard. I show him what's in there and he says no to everything. Grr. Then I hate myself for being grumpy.

Also the potty thing is annoying me. He was doing so well so I know he can do it and now it's almost like he's pleased with himself to make me wipe his pooey arse. I KNOW this isn't the case, but it's hard not to feel it a bit. He comments on how sticky and smelly it is and I'm cheerfully agreeing with him and they saying "all nice and clean now" when inside I am seething. He agrees that it's best to poo in the potty when we talk about it and before baby he would mostly tell us when he wanted a poo and would happily go on the potty (I would say two times out of every three). Maybe soon we just stay inside for three or four days with bare bum and potties everywhere. I got him to have a wee in the potty just now, then tried to get him to put 'big boy pants' on that I'd bought him but he wouldn't, he just took them off.

It feels like he has a policy of saying 'no' to every question or suggestion. As soon as you tell him not to do something he does it or does it more. I hate feeling like this about him and I know a lot of it is to do with the age and undoubtedly to do with his sister, although he is always nice to her, thank God.

Anyway enough of my whinging. He's enjoying nursery still - lady said he asked for me a few times during the last half hour on Thursday but still no tears.

Do your 2-year-olds play on their own at home much - do they ever pick up a book and flick through it themselves. He seems to need me or DH playing with him a lot of the time (unless I turn the hoover on and give it to him, then he'd happily play hoovering for hours). I think maybe I need to cultivate self-directed play a bit more. It will all be easier once DH has moved his office to my mum's and we have our playroom. NOT LONG NOW.

PenguinArmy Sat 16-Jun-12 19:31:00

I can get DD to play by herself but with a lot of input from me sitting down, but not completely by herself. even with the obstacle course today i had to remind each time the order and what to do. tbh i don't actively get down and play with her a lot atm which I feel bad about, but we do a lot of active things especially in afternoons on walks, so throwing, tickling, running and chasing.

can you try to phrase things such that they are not questions that can be answered with no? If I have phrased a question that can produce a no answer then I allow her to actually say no. Sometimes I forget when i am asking but nonetheless follow through the request. If it is an action then of course I say no, she has a warning to not to do it otherwise X will happen (normally cessation of activity although sometimes just a rest from the activity). Getting into the car she often runs around out the front instead of walking to her seat, I give her a few reminders to head towards the car then when I am strapping DS in she is given the option of coming over or me carrying her. I also use this sometimes in the form of 'I will count to 5 and if you still haven't done X request then I will'. Obviously after a request of two before e.g. put on your shoes or I will do it. the phrase 'it is time for' is used a lot here and I have built up standard routines/scripts for set tasks such as leaving the house, getting in, post dinner routine. This has meant the potty for these activities has blended in well as i repeat beforehand 'right when we get in, we take off our shoes, coat, do a 'hello home potty' etc. She does need reminding of them a lot but she is quite accepting when i remind her that this is what we do. i reinforce that with narrating what i am doing 'mummy, it is time to take off your shoes'

She has started shouting especially when tired so I ask her to 'ask properly' or if it is because she frustrated (if tired she tries to ram her shoe on and then shouts out) I say 'deep breaths' to which she closes her eyes and take and a deep breathe which calms her down enough to often complete the task she is trying to do.

that was a bit longer than I thought, but i know myself that when I catch myself saying no a lot, then a change in my thinking/procedure is required. hopefully something will be of use/reassurance.

time to go shopping, aka my alone time grin

Good to hear from you Survival! Not too long now before you get a rest x

Bc yes, we're investigating doing something along those lines - our vendors don't need the money to buy another house and they are lovely and helpful, so very willing to find a solution if poss. We've enlisted their solicitor to come up with a suggestion and he seems like an affable type too, so hopefully something will be worked out so we can move in sooner rather than later.

DD is pretty good at playing on her own, depending on her mood. If I'm trying to sort out some food, I may get some hassle and whingeing for a bit, but she usually gives up fairly quickly and finds something to amuse herself.

Glad you're enjoying the pins!!

We follow very similar disciplinary tactics to PA - counting to 5 (backwards in my case!), lots of descriptive praise when DD does what we want (or takes small steps towards doing what we want) and lots of "think-throughs" - preparations ahead of time about what we expect from her in certain situations with a short series of questions for her to answer (these last two are straight from Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting although we were already using elements of them, although not as effectively). We still have tantrums of course, but DH and I feel like we're getting a better handle on behaviour issues and I've definitely noticed improvements. I'm hoping we can get a lot of these techniques as second nature both for us and DD by the time Jesus Fosbury makes his appearance.

I also find washable wipes easier to use than disposable ones - they seem to be more efficient, somehow.
I picked up a load of second-hand Flip washable nappies today at a nearly new sale - our Pop-Ins are starting to leak too often and I've heard a lot of good reports about Flips. The elastication is pretty weak in the legs because of previous usage, but so far we haven't had any leaks. I'm hoping they'll be as good as everyone says they are!!

BG sounds like your two are enjoying the hotel stay!!

Bearcrumble Sat 16-Jun-12 21:56:45

Thank you for mentioning that, PA - I have been saying "shall we do X?" instead of "It's time to do X" too much I think, so giving him the opportunity to say 'no'.

I do tell him what we're going to do, and tell him 5 mins and again 1 min before we leave eg the playground. He still seems quite stressed and to find it difficult when we stop one activity to do something else. (I will take a look at that book, IC).

I managed to get him to play alone with play doh while I cooked dinner this evening by dint of not complaining when he mixed up the colours and just letting him get on with it. I know it doesn't matter and that the colours will get mixed up anyway, I can be very laid back about all sorts of things but toys with missing pieces or mess or mixed up colours of play doh make me feel all twitchy. I need to realised this is my problem and not lay it on poor DS.

He has done 2 wees in the potty today (with 'time to go on the potty' prompting).

We had a nice storytime with lots of cuddles and he trotted into his room afterwards and went to bed with no complaints.

PenguinArmy Sat 16-Jun-12 22:55:31

i recently got the 'adventures in gentle discipline' book from the LLL library and have found it really useful. The main extra things i picked up were we're not all perfect and to debrief once everyone is calm again.

I am quite bad with messy play actually, I blame it on DS and not having the time to deal with it, but I suspect I would be that way anyway. I tend to only offer one colour of playdough and as for her putting the blue paintbrush in the red pot well...

our current issues are wanting to throw water everywhere, the concept of 'drinking water' and 'playing water' are i appreciate difficult distincions but need to be made I feel.

I think I am going to rejog our routine and give the DCs dinner around 4/4:30 with a fruit or other dessert at 6/6:30 when me and DH will have dinner. not sure yet when i will cook it but hopefully will make for smoother evenings. DS is being very clingy so not able to cook until DH gets in but by the time I have done (with them being grumpy throughout) they are too tired (certainly DS) to deal with being able to have dinner. What are all your evening dinner routines?

BabyGiraffes Sat 16-Jun-12 23:25:48

PA dd1 used to have dinner with me and dh about 6ish but that all went to pot when dd2 arrived. At the moment the girls have dinner around 5.30 and dh and I eat around 7.30 to 8pm. Ideally I would prefer us to have a family meal in the evening but it still gets quite stressful for everyone right now so I will give it a few more months.
As for independent play, I think I have been lucky that mine like to potter and explore when they are with me... Dh is much more hands on playing with them and they tend to expect more entertainment from him.

BabyGiraffes Sat 16-Jun-12 23:32:36

We had out first bunk bed related injury last night... The girls were fine but I scraped my back on the top bunk when saying goodnight to dd2. She had a terrible night and I think got a bit claustrophobic having a top bunk above her. We've got a cot for tonight and she seems happier being a baby just for tonight.

Ha, yes - we have the water for play/water for drinking conundrum too, PA!

We have a family meal at around 17.45ish, which works fine because DH is usually home around 5-ish, so he plays with DD and keeps her out of my way while I sort out the supper (which I'm happy to do as a bit of me-time!!).
DD usually goes up for bath and bedtime at around 18.45, with lights off at 19.30ish. It'll be interesting to see how we adapt the routine when Jesus Fosbury arrives.....

Ouch at scraping your back BG - hope it's not too sore.

Yep, well worth checking out that book Bc - I think of all my parenting books, it's the one I've found most helpful and effective so far - it only has five main techniques (all non-punitive) and gives loads of detail on how to use them, including typical flashpoint situations.

PenguinArmy Sun 17-Jun-12 14:18:02

how was last night bg

DH gets in at 5:30, if he was home at 5 that would make a massive difference.

we have a most upset DS which after 30min stretches last night sad Summoning up the energy to take DD out.

StoneBaby Sun 17-Jun-12 20:20:43

DS has dinner at 5.45pm and DH is either at home or leave home at 5.40pm for work or come home at 6.30pm. Then bedtime between 6pm and 6.30 pm.

He can play by himself for a few minutes while but I have to check from time to time on him to make sure he plays and he's not inventing a new way to kill himself up to no good.

PT is going well. Today we went out for the day with no opportunity to take the potty with us (and DS won't use the loo) so he was quite freaked out by peeing in his nappy but when back home did a wee in the potty once home. I just wonder if it's worth spending £20+ in a carry potty hmm?

BabyGiraffes Mon 18-Jun-12 12:18:04

dd2 slept 14 hours last night and then when I woke her at 8 this morning she staggered around the place for a few minutes asking where the bunk beds were. I think she found the weekend quite exhausting!

PenguinArmy Mon 18-Jun-12 12:26:17

14 hours envy

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Mon 18-Jun-12 12:51:57

BG envy

BigBadBear Mon 18-Jun-12 13:19:34

bg grin

pa I give the DDs their dinner at 5.30ish, then do the wind down routine that sees them in bed at around 7pm. DH doesn't get home until after 7pm most weeknights so he and I eat after the girls are in bed. The only exception to this is once a week when he collects DD1 from Rainbows at 6pm and we all eat together that night. If he's out on the evening, I'll often eat with the girls.

DD2 appears to be giving up her trainer seat for the toilet so my days of carrying it round when we go out may be drawing to a close. If so, it's been short and sweet grin

BabyGiraffes Mon 18-Jun-12 13:20:10

Well, it is unlike her!!! blush And she asked me at 12.30 whether she could please go to bed, so she's having a nap now as well... grin
She did have a busy weekend though and walked so much that her feet and legs are still hurting.

BigBadBear Mon 18-Jun-12 13:24:18

Meant to say about playing on their own. DD2 often wanders off on her own to play or look at books, and I've often thought that she's had to learn to do that because she doesn't often get me on my own. DD1 had my undivided attention for three years so took longer to develop this skill, though my severe spd when pregnant meant she learned out of necessity sad

I often involve them in whatever I am doing, for example by pulling up a chair to the kitchen worktop so they can help me cook or by getting them to hand me clothes when I am hanging out laundry. They don't seem to mind, in fact they really like it, so it suits us all smile

PenguinArmy Mon 18-Jun-12 13:25:05

can you take DD away with you next time? grin

I am absolutley exhausted atm and my excuses for getting to sleep late have run out so am admitting I have some insomnia going on. I think it has been two weeks since I was asleep before 12, but most nights is 1.

that combined with the fact that it looks like our plans are changing and I will be at home for a few more years (and associated uncertainity of what I want to go and therefore lack of long term plan) is bringing me down a little bit.

Someone did offer to have the children for a few hours but I just thought 'what's the point?'. I won't be able to sleep and I don't want to do jobs, however that line of thinking means I probably need the time more than ever.

PenguinArmy Mon 18-Jun-12 13:27:36

interwoven is the fact that DH has been asked to apply for a job in london which we agree he is going to do. The salary seems unusually low considering the location though (salary is what you'd expect if it wasn't in London, so once combined with extra costs is isn't a step up but 2-3 years there would look great on his CV)

StoneBaby Mon 18-Jun-12 18:54:48

PA fx for the new plans

BG is your DD2 okay? If DS sleeps as much I'll think that he's ill.

We're on a loosing weight adventure at the moment as DH needs to loose around a stone. So I'm reducing the portion size and try to cut the carbs (quite hard as I need carbs as my blood sugar will crash without any).

BBB great news on the toilet use

PenguinArmy Mon 18-Jun-12 19:02:20

I thought I had killed the thread then

we actually had a good day today once we got to 10am. Not only no accidents that included solids and wee's but at playgroup and the park (which was at least an hours) she came up to me and asked to go.

I am sure I am supposed to be doing something tomorrow but I can't remember what.

Sounds like you're making great progress, PA!
Sorry to hear about the insomnia - I've SO been there. Really frustrating. EFT can be good for sorting sleep issues out, if you fancy giving it a try.

SB I've found by far the best way to lose weight (without feeling hungry or having blood sugar crashes) is to do the GI/GL diet - when you cut out foods which send your blood sugar too high too quickly and keep your fat intake to a lowish level. That way, you still have the healthy carbs that your body needs, but you can lose weight.
There are some good books and resources online to help out and loads of tasty recipes of things you can have so you don't feel too hard done by while trying to shed the kilos....
I found when I did the GI diet strictly, I went down two dress sizes in six weeks and had loads more energy, better moods (leaping and crashing blood sugar levels have a lot to do with moodiness!), needed less sleep and generally felt the best I ever had in my life. AND I kept the weight off once I relaxed the diet. AND I never felt hungry (because the diet involved three meals a day and three snacks between times). It's also the only diet my BIL (who's a GP) advises for patients with weight issues because it's sensible and well-balanced.
Good luck!!

PenguinArmy Tue 19-Jun-12 08:01:12

DS only woke 3 times last night, I got off just after 12 and got a 4 hour stretch, I feel great even if it is for one night only

BabyGiraffes Tue 19-Jun-12 09:11:51

'Mama what's wrap around care?' Timely reminder for me to be very cautious about listening to the news on the radio because dd2 does listen!! This news item was pretty harmless but most aren't.. sad

Bearcrumble Tue 19-Jun-12 09:42:55

DS has started sucking/soaking his top. Sleeves/hem Huge patches. WHY??? Am trying to descriptively praise him, IC when he doesn't do it. "you're not sucking your top - keeping yourself smart/neat/dry"

BigBadBear Tue 19-Jun-12 11:04:46

Boo at the insomnia pa but glad you're feeling ok today.

bc my dd1 is still terrible for putting things in her mouth. She sucks her thumb, bites her nails and it really bothers me. She has sucked or chewed her clothes in the past and I've found it very effective to tell her that of she does it, she won't be able to choose her clothes the next day as I need to be sure that she isn't going to be wearing clothes with loose bits that may hurt her (not strictly true, but you get my drift). She hates this and it has pretty much stopped.

BigBadBear Tue 19-Jun-12 11:06:37

sb dh and I are trying to lose weight at the moment but I find it too hard to regulate food and we eat pretty healthily anyway (just too much blush) so we are doing the 30 day shred. It's tough but we're sticking with it smile

BabyGiraffes Tue 19-Jun-12 16:35:02

Oh my poor baby... Dd2 came in from the garden crying 'I don't know about games...' I think she benefits enormously by having a big sister and it's nice of dd1 to include her in her games but being two she doesn't always understand the rules! Poor little thing has to grow up much faster to keep up sad wink

StoneBaby Tue 19-Jun-12 18:15:26

BBB our problem is portion size too. I got a low GI book and will get some inspiration from it

DS also sucks his sleeves on tshirt collar from time to time

PA great news about the long sleep stretch but boo about the insomnia.

BabyGiraffes Tue 19-Jun-12 18:18:12

IC saw your blog- you look fantastic!! grin

Aw - thanks BG!!!

Bc - yep, that's the way - Noel (author of CHEP) says at first it may remind them of the habit, but if you persevere it's a good way of stopping it.
"DS, I notice you're not sucking your clothes - that's very self-controlled, I like to see that!" (or some such...)
DD picks (nose/scabs etc.) much less since we started using the DP to break the habit.
But it won't happen overnight, might take a couple of weeks ago with a very stubborn habit.....
Good luck!

PenguinArmy Tue 19-Jun-12 21:48:34

that's interesting, DD is a nose/skin picker. She had a lot of the skin around her toes peel off which has been keeping her occupied hmm

StoneBaby Wed 20-Jun-12 15:35:51

Nursery has asked when I'll take Ds off the pullups and put him in pants! I answeredin a few weeks time as Even if he does most/all the wees in the potty he still poo in the nappies so I'm not sure he's ready for the switch!? confused

It's up to you SB of course, but everyone I talk to about PT says if you're going to go for it, it's better to fully go for it - straight into pants (scary thought!!)
More experienced mums may have more to say about this, however!!

PenguinArmy Wed 20-Jun-12 18:32:54

is he regular with his poo's? DD had one poo accident in knickers and the next time did a little potty dance, asked for a nappy but as we knew she was due one she stripped her down and just watched her, then put on her as soon as she was doing it. Once we had done this twice or maybe three times she was over the poo on potty/toilet phobia. The fact she goes at roughly the same time each day helps us to relax once it over. We haven't had a poo accident for a couple of weeks I think except for the fact she doesn't stay seated until wiping therefore getting it all over dress and herself when she sits down

I have so far skipped pull-ups, although considering them for night time as she does tell us when she wants a wee going to sleep and first thing in the morning (but before official get up time) so it might be handy. Does he say if he wants a wee yet? I dunno but what's the worst that could happen, go back to pull ups after a week?

IC we kinda didn't go straight to knickers, we went into dress and no knickers as she wouldn't keep them on. Something to be said for the naked approach I feel. When we head out then she has to wear knickers and atm a pair of leggings. That way if she does have an accident in her buggy, car seat or playgroup then that fabric will absorb most of it. I am currently loving the fact she is a girl for that logistical reason.

StoneBaby Wed 20-Jun-12 19:12:25

He is not very regular unfortunately, at the moment he does them during the night but last week it was late morning. He doesn't say that he needs a wee but when he sits on the potty he wees.
The naked approach is a bit of a problem as DS will be contemplating his willy at all time (I guess to make sure it still there grin) and tell me that he and daddy have one but not me!

PenguinArmy Wed 20-Jun-12 19:37:09

that was more some musings for the people who haven't started yet.

I still think give it a go, especially since the nursery seem up for it. at least they'll be the ones clearing it up grin

StoneBaby Wed 20-Jun-12 20:22:47

I think I'll give a few weeks more, just to get him comfortable in the use of the potty

BigBadBear Wed 20-Jun-12 21:57:09

All this talk of toileting reminded me that I wanted to share my adventure pop story with you all. While out today, dd2 declared she needed a wee. No toilets so I whipped out the toilet seat under a handy tree and plonked her on. A few seconds later she tells me she needs a poo. I lift her up to put a wipe underneath to catch it, but it's already out. So I made like a dog walker, scooped the poop and put it in a nappy bag which I then threw away. Lovely. But at least she isn't worried about doing it in unusual places grin

The second thing she has started doing is calling for me during the night: "mummy,I need the toilet." so far I have shown remarkable restraint in not shouting back: "no you don't, you're wearing a nappy," and instead dutifully go and take her to the toilet. Her nappies have been dry in the morning since she decided she didn't want to wear nappies during the day anymore, but I'm not ready to drop them at night yet. Note to all first time toilet trainers, when they wet the bed at night, it also goes on the duvet and sometimes the pillow. Just so you know wink

PenguinArmy Wed 20-Jun-12 22:27:35


do you use a mattress protector or towel or anything? I considered putting a potty in her room but then thought she might try to experiment with it's contents.

thankfully DD doesn't really have a pillow and she has a fleece blanket, of which we have a few.

BigBadBear Wed 20-Jun-12 22:34:20

Yes, waterproof sheet is in place. I remember with dd1 thinking I had wholly underestimated the work involved if she wet the bed. I think this occurred to me at 3am one night when realising I had to change herald all the bedclothes and find another duvet and pillow for the bed grin

BigBadBear Wed 20-Jun-12 22:35:28

Her and, not herald smile

StoneBaby Thu 21-Jun-12 06:23:57

I did wonder who herald was grin

DS has a waterproof mattress cover since he took his nappy off one morning and weed in the bed. I also bought a spare duvet and pillow as a result

I think the naked approach initially is a good one, PA.
I guess the advice I've had is not about knickers/pants/bare bum but about using nappy halfway houses. Mind you, the general advice seems to be nappies for naps (unless you're feeling confident!) and overnight to start with as it takes longer for them to be dry overnight.
Very impressed with you all for going for it!!

BigBadBear Thu 21-Jun-12 12:27:05

I went with knickers under skirts or dresses to start with, figuring that they were easier than trousers.

Need to put something out there, and think this is the best place to do it as it's not the kind of thing I can talk about easily. DH and I have just finished a pretty full-on conversation about the state of our relationship. It's still pretty poor, and he seemed genuinely ashamed when I pointed out the lack of respect and courtesy he gives to me, the DDs and his family (but particularly me), and how his selfishness, thoughtlessness, procrastination and lack of regard were damaging us all. He has said that he is going to turn things round, but we have agreed that if we have one of these conversations again, he needs to move out sad

PenguinArmy Thu 21-Jun-12 12:46:32

oh bbb you must be in desparate need of some hugs right now {{{}}}

i'm not very good with relationship advice especially regarding a plan of action to stop it happening again (there is always the relationship section)

StoneBaby Thu 21-Jun-12 14:38:25

BBB big hugs and wine sent your way.

BBB that's a really tough position to be in, so sorry to hear things have reached such a nadir.
Have you given Relate a go?
Please feel free to spill on here when you need to - I realise it's a difficult situation to discuss with people in RL.

Weirdly, I just got to a chapter in my book on EFT (I know, I know - I've become really fascinated with it!!) which gave suggestions on how it can help with relationship difficulties.
Sounds like your DH needs to buck his ideas up properly and stop relying on the fact that you're so (outwardly!!) capable of doing what needs to be done that he doesn't.
Lots of luck x

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Thu 21-Jun-12 14:49:42

BBB <hugs>

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Thu 21-Jun-12 16:47:33

More hugs from my direction BBB. Let's hope he follows through.

I've had a trial with DS2 today who is poorly and feeling aggressive because of it. he has tried o bite me three times in anger and DS1 has been on the receiving end twice. I feel ridiculous as I deal with children with tricky behaviour all the time, but he is just not responding well at the moment to anything we try. In the end, in desperation, I meanly told him that mummy days were for all of us to enjoy and that if he didn't stop I'd take him back to nursery where he is always a good boy!! (in less words, obviously..) Bizarrely, he hasn't done it since! Time out doesn't have any effect, shouting, going quiet, being sad, removing a toy have all failed. Any other tips gratefully received. I don't think it's worth problem-solving with him about it yet as he does it when he loses his temper and I don't think he's mature enough to control it (or probably to problem-solve really).

Sorry, didn't mean to spill all that, especially when BBB needs all our thoughts at the moment.

BigBadBear Thu 21-Jun-12 17:03:19

Thank you all. ic I have suggested Relate - or even that he chats things through with a mate - but he's not one for meaningful talk and isn't keen. Besides, it would be a logistical nightmare to get us both there at the same time, as I wouldn't want to get babysitters so we could go in the evening (as our babysitters are his parents) and he won't arrange a weekday thing because of work. Sounds ridiculous when I put it down like that sad

I literally don't know what to do. I've explained, talked, reasoned, let things go (in the hope that he'll eventually notice me for more than just a housekeeper and nanny once he's had his fill of computer games, tv etc), cried, cajoled... I really feel like the change has to come from him. But that's also ridiculous, because if I want it to work I have to make changes too. But I simply don't know what I can do. Give up work so I can be there more for the kids so it doesn't matter when he's late again or doesn't answer his phone if one of us is needed? Done that. Arrange everything we do, as a family and as individuals, so we don't feel stuck in a rut because he's not into planning and organising? Do that too. See his and my families without him most of the time so he doesn't feel his precious free time is spent with them? Yep. Pick up after him and do all the cleaning etc so we have as much free time as possible at weekends? Yes. Do all his laundry etc so he looks presentable (he doesn't cares about his appearance)? Done. Cook great meals and arrange nice things to do so he doesn't get bored. Yes. Take care with my appearance so he thinks I'm worth spending time with? Yes.


BigBadBear Thu 21-Jun-12 17:03:51

Sorry. I'll go and wallow elsewhere.

BigBadBear Thu 21-Jun-12 17:05:51

survival it sounds as though your tactic has worked grin Sounds tricky though, have you tried offering alternatives? I do that with dd2-say sorry or sit on the stairs. It takes a while but she does get it eventually.

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Thu 21-Jun-12 17:15:02

Thanks BBB. I'll give that a try too. He does just say sorry in a singsong voice and run off to cause more mayhem, but it's worth a try.

It must be very difficult in your situation with DH. You are a talented, intelligent, fab woman and a loving mummy and I hope he will soon realise what he's in danger of losing. Sending virtual cherry flapjack (as have run out of other dried fruit!!) and a big hug. And don't go and wallow elsewhere -it's what we're here for.

PenguinArmy Thu 21-Jun-12 18:44:29

bbb of course you have to stay here. it must hurt you so much that he treats you all like this, although sounds like he treats his family the same.

Has a computer game ban ever been tried?

surival I imagine that is a very frustrating situation to be in

BigBadBear Thu 21-Jun-12 19:39:00

I have suggested it PA but he rails against it and says it's ridiculous. We have a few rules instead, such as leaving his mobile by the front door if he gets home in time to catch the girls in the bath, otherwise he'll spend all his time on it when they (and I) expect him to be engaging with them. Things like that usually work for a few days then he "forgets", DD1 or I remind him, and then he usually kicks off about how unfair such rules are. It's like living with a teenager!

BigBadBear Thu 21-Jun-12 19:39:52

And thanks *survival" for the lovely compliment (though if you saw me now, you would take it all back!).

PenguinArmy Thu 21-Jun-12 19:58:08

sad is that his stance even after this last conversation?

Bearcrumble Thu 21-Jun-12 19:59:16

BBB - I am so sorry things are so bad. It doesn't sound to me like you're the one who should be making all the efforts - he needs to change, because if things are as you describe them then apart from financially he is just another drain on family life - he gives f* all.

My DH is quite bad with the phone/computer but it's with work because he's self employed - he doesn't play games (what adult with a job and young kids has time for that?) - The way you describe him, not caring about appearance - being very into his own things, not understanding others emotional needs etc. - do you think he could be a bit Aspergers?

Anyway you don't need my armchair psychiatry - just please know that my heart goes out to you, it is awful feeling like you're making all the running and banging your head against a brick wall.

Remember whatever happens now is going to be better for you and the children because the options are either a). he changes or b). he goes.

BabyGiraffes Thu 21-Jun-12 20:01:46

BBB <hug>

StoneBaby Thu 21-Jun-12 20:21:56

Share around the freshly baked cherry and chocolate cc

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Thu 21-Jun-12 20:32:10

BBB my DH has admitted freely that adjusting to being a dad, in terms of not having any time for himself/us etc.. has been a) hard and b)harder than he expected. He too gets caught up in computer (X Box) games and we have recently had a big row about it as he had been playing it every night since Christmas. I explained to him that it was like him going out for 1-2 hours every night and that it was causing a big rift between us (as I'm sure you have done). He immediately stopped playing it completely and that stayed for about three weeks. He now plays it when I am working in the evenings (on the understanding that he goes up to the DS if they need us). The interesting bit will be when I don't have to work in the evenings for a month or two in a couple of weeks. I only say all this to let you know that a) I sympathise with the effects it can cause and b) my husband has tried really hard to respond - let's hope yours does too (with all the areas you've mentioned). I second BC's aspergers shout, although I think my DH is just naturally lazy smile and less on the spectrum than I am!!

Ah, that sounds truly shite, BBB - it doesn't sound to me like there's much more effort you can make from your side - from what you say, he's being selfish and immature and needs a major boot up the backside. Jeez, I feel so angry on your behalf. How dare he treat you like his PA/childminder instead of his equal? It shows a fundamental lack of respect. angry
Why don't you start charging him for all your services (and I mean ALL) - point out that if he won't value your contribution to the marriage by sharing the work involved or reciprocating emotional support, he can bloody well pay for it.

Survival sorry you've been having a hard time with DS2. I MASSIVELY recommend the Calmer, Happier, Easier Parenting book I got free from MN - other people I know who are trying it out are similarly impressed (DH is also very pleased with it, I think it's the first parenting book that's really rung his bell). The techniques wouldn't turn DS2 into an angel overnight, but I reckon a few weeks-worth would give you some big improvements.

PS BBB wallow here as much as you need to xx

rainbowweaver Thu 21-Jun-12 21:04:51

Been lurking and just had to send <hugs> to you BBB. But it's good that he realises and wants to change. Give him specific responsibilities and give him positive reinforcement when he does them....

DH went through a very long phase of computer game addiction (years) some time ago so I can empathise. What I didn't do - arrange things or meet ups with his family... If he wants to keep in touch then it's his responsibility. I would of course arrange events with mine. We agreed when he could play his computer games....grin, yes he had timeslots. A total ban is hard to start with. And we agreed who was responsible for what housework. Maybe make him responsible for doing his own laundry? If he has nothing to wear then he will need to take action. Or washing dishes? Start small then as time passes give him more till it's more of a fair share. Think about what you can live with. I used to moan at him for never arranging events but realised that if I wanted things to happen then I needed to do it. So i still arrange things.

After a while we agreed he wouldn't buy anymore new games. He still does play sometimes but these days not with DD around, and only occasionally now. We also compromise so he tapes the shows I like (normally I watch very little tv) and we watch them together.

StoneBaby Thu 21-Jun-12 21:27:15

DS and I had an interesting opinion difference this morning. Btween where I park the car and nursery we have to cross a busy road so I always take him in my arms to cross as there're 4 lanes of traffic to cross. When we reach the other side he goes back on the pavement and carry on walking. This morning he started playing up and ended up seated on the pavement so I told him if he didn't wanted to walk I'll go, waved bye and started walking. He looked at me, started thinking, stood up, took my gand and happily walked. It feels like blackmail but it worked! blush

BBB let the steam out on here as much as you want

Waves to rainbow

IC will you be trying a VBAC with JF?

Hopefully, SB!

PenguinArmy Thu 21-Jun-12 22:21:54

I had a rare supermom day today, by 9:30 we had done some hand moulds as a belated father's day present and had some fun with stickers. Went to a LLL meeting after that. This afternoon went to the library, some shops where as it was raining I let her climb all over the those ride things (have a little indoor shopping centre nearby). Some waterplay in the bath (1/3 filled a baby bath in the big bath and got DD to select some random teacup toys) and then a playdough session.

with the water playing versus water drinking IC I was thinking I needed to give her more outlets to play, so if it is raining setting the bath up so it seems different (with toys you would chuck outside) or giving her a small bowl of water in the kitchen (on some towels) and let her do some washing and drying up. I was thinking tomorrow of letting her wash the outside of the patio doors.

BigBadBear Thu 21-Jun-12 22:23:50

<quietly sobbing at the outpouring of support and affirmation on this thread>

You are all lovely, lovely people and I feel privileged to know you. I hope one day to meet you all in person and thank you for everything you have done for me.

<politely declines offers of baked goods because they all seem to contain cherries today and I don't like dried fruit, but gratefully accepts all hugs>

PenguinArmy Thu 21-Jun-12 22:28:39

I have some doughnuts? custard and jam varieties.

<sneaks in some more hugs>

<reminds you that everything survival said is true>

sometimes the more you do for someone, the worse they treat you

BigBadBear Thu 21-Jun-12 22:48:39

<accepts jam doughnut, fixes hair and lifts chin>

BigBadBear Thu 21-Jun-12 22:50:30

Well done on super mum day pa and to sb on winning the battle of wills.

PenguinArmy Thu 21-Jun-12 22:52:37

that's it for at least a month now though grin I got to sleep at 11:40 last night which accounts for the extra energy.

any chance of you being able to some sleep? Failing that a bath?

BigBadBear Thu 21-Jun-12 22:55:55

I can always sleep grin it's one of my great strengths smile

Going to go to bed now. Have a horrible sore throat and runny nose, am hoping it's from being upset and not a cold. It's June, I refuse to have a cold angry

StoneBaby Fri 22-Jun-12 06:29:30

No dry cherries in the cupcakes but cherry jam smile BBB i hope you managed to sleep and that the cold has avoided you

SconesForTea Fri 22-Jun-12 09:01:43

More hugs from me BBB <hides raisin and apricot cookies behind her back> I can only echo what has been said. You are making all the effort and that is not right and it's not fair. I too am very angry

SconesForTea Fri 22-Jun-12 09:03:58

at your DH's behaviour. I do have some experience of it as my exP was like this with guitar-playing instead of gaming (literally to the extent if playing ALL evening or weekend while I cooked, cleaned, gardened, whatever) and I organi

SconesForTea Fri 22-Jun-12 09:09:52

sed everything or we would never have socialised. His behaviour was extremely selfish but he couldn't see it, and we rowed about it constantly. I don't have any useful advice sad as I told him until I was blue in the face, then after 9 years split up sad He was a stubborn man. Once we'd split he was devastated and seemed willing to do anything but by then I was glad to be free of him. Do you think your DH would react if you showed him how serious this is - would realise what he stands to lose? So, so sorry that you are going through this. Hope you are getting lots of RL support.

PenguinArmy Fri 22-Jun-12 09:12:43

I have woken up with a cold which seems a little suspicious if you ask me

SconesForTea Fri 22-Jun-12 09:15:45

IC I think I need to get that book. DD1's tantrums are becoming more frequent and more epic. And always over something so inconsequential, like which spoon to use. As if I care, just choose another spoon, but no, she has a 10 minute screaming fit. DH has been off work this week and even he (very calm with her) is losing patience. She has had chicken pox, but very mildly, and it seems to be well behind her so I don't think that excuses her behaviour.

I feel better and hoping it lasts when DH is back at work. We haven't got a lot done this week house-wise but it is just so lovely having him around. Both girls slept til gone 8 this morning shock

SconesForTea Fri 22-Jun-12 09:18:00

I have been lurking and taking this opportunity to post as it's not my turn to get up so I'm not grin but can't scroll back as on my phone. Just seen x post with PA get well soon.

StoneBaby Fri 22-Jun-12 13:16:26

Hi scones nice hear from you.

PA I hope you're not not suffering too much.

I've got a Friday afternoon feeling at work and can't be bothered to do any more paperwork today

LeMousquetaireAnonyme Fri 22-Jun-12 20:30:44

<Pass around beer in 2 litres bottles in a coca Mc do glass>
<OOH! yeah! classy me!>

StoneBaby Fri 22-Jun-12 20:32:02

Accept the beer!

BabyGiraffes Fri 22-Jun-12 21:45:52

<waves a bit and politely declines beer as wine has already been consumed in sufficient quantity...> Just come through three days of training in new job and feel very excited still. Touch wood it will last.. Dd2 had a great time with dh (who took three days off) but dd1 wasn't so keen on having a working mum. Sure we will all get used to it smile.

BabyGiraffes Sat 23-Jun-12 09:50:46

' Mama I hatched!'... One of dd2's more incomprehensible sentences grin until dh explained that they played a game where the girls were baby birds in their eggs (two empty rattan wash baskets with lids). The baby birds hatched and learned to fly... I think I know where dd1 gets her imagination and creativity from!!! smile

StoneBaby Sat 23-Jun-12 16:48:11

DS had one poo in the potty. He was a bit freaked out but with lot of praise he succeeded. He then bend down his head on the floor with his bum in the air to get it wiped blush Unusual but funny grin

StoneBaby Sat 23-Jun-12 17:40:46

I have been feeling ill all day -dizzy spell, backache, freezing cold (it's 20C outside) and nausea. I can't wait for DS to go to bed to do tge same. Fx it's viral and I'll be better tomorrow confused

BabyGiraffes Sat 23-Jun-12 17:54:48

SB I've got exactly the same symptoms as has dh. He woke up with it, mine came on this afternoon. Very unfortunate because we may have given it to a lot of people at dd1's birthday party today. Ooops.

StoneBaby Sat 23-Jun-12 18:20:59

BG get well soon. DS is in bed and I'm comtemplating going in bed too.

BabyGiraffes Sat 23-Jun-12 18:41:58

SB thanks and same to you.

StoneBaby Sat 23-Jun-12 18:53:06

Thanks bg. I'm now in bed hoping the painkillers are going to act soon

PenguinArmy Sat 23-Jun-12 19:16:40

oh no, sorry to hear others are ill.

this cold went straight to my sinus again and combined with the weather has set of my asthma again. this is the fourth time this month so I concede defeat and will book an asthma review before you pester me BG

DD decided to climb and slip off the table today hmm but considering how active she has been (apparently jumping your way around the house is the today's perferred mode) then an accident was bound to happen. She has also been learning that jumping on your bum without your nappy now hurts.

we only had one wet accident this week. even if wearing a nappy she will ask to go to toilet, poo's are now seemingly completely fine even though her normal schedule has been off. Plus for the last few days she hasn't had a nappy on for her nap.

i have signed up the milk bank and plan to do my first pumping tomorrow so just off to look at all the instructions.

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Sat 23-Jun-12 20:36:22

Hope all you poorly people get well soon. I have a chest infecion to add to the list (with the ripped toenail mentioned on facebook which is much worse!!) Took DS2 to the gp on Thursday as his chest sounded awful and his nose has been producing very green stuff but they said it was viral so I didn't get mine checked. Then yesterday, I realised that was a mistake and I have got an infecion (and yet have managed without biting people, throwing myself on the floor and squealing at the smallest thing, unlike DS2!!) Anyway, I actually feel okay and, yes, PA you need a review - it's important we all look after ourselves. grin (Admirable milk donations by the way - good on you).

BBB how is the weekend going so far?

Hi Scones nice to hear from you. Glad the pox has been mild for DD. It did make my DS1 and 2 feel a bit emotional hmm so hopefully she will pick up once better.

Off to have date night with DH so will offer you all a little of our Chinese takeaway (gluten and dairy free, obviously) and leave you all until the week. This should be last week of working evenings, if all goes to plan, and not a moment too soon. (At least I persuaded DH to do some ebaying and prep the nearly new sale stuff for once while I've been working evenings this week- we're another £130 better off as a result).

IC I would highly recommend to your DH that he chooses a night off in the week and sticks to it no matter what (unless it suits to swap to a different night for some reason). This has helped me in the last 14 years to stay sane with the all-encompassing work. The trouble with a contract that says ' hours of work - enough to discharge your duties' ,or some such, is that it can be never-ending. I broke the rule for only the second time in all those years this week - so no wonder I came down with something!

Night all. smile

rainbowweaver Sat 23-Jun-12 21:05:24

Sorry last post ended so abruptly. DD woke up so I had to rush upstairs. There's been that same rather vicious virus going round here too, quite a few people at work have it. Hope you all get well soon!

StoneBaby Sun 24-Jun-12 08:19:13

Hope we all get well soon. I seem tobe better todaybut I'm not counting my chickens yet

PA well done with the milk bank

survival good luck with that last week

BabyGiraffes Sun 24-Jun-12 17:32:54

SB I'm still hoping to feel vaguely human by tomorrow because it would be awful to phone in sick on my first day in a new job blush

StoneBaby Sun 24-Jun-12 19:12:50

I'm still feeling sick and could in fact throw up nauseous. FX BG you'll be better tomorrow. If I wake up like this I think I'll call work with a sicky.
It also looks like DH is coming down with it too...

BigBadBear Sun 24-Jun-12 23:14:53

Good luck tomorrow bg smile

StoneBaby Mon 25-Jun-12 07:22:22

BG good luck for today

So i'm home as I still don't feel good and had a feezing cold moment last night which kept me awake for a while.

I hope you all getting better