Mumsnet Talk

New thread!!

<offers freshly baked muffins and frothy coffee>

Thanks IC

I'll post the link on FB for the lurkers

<run back to the kitchen to check the bread rolls are not getting too tanned>

Muffiiiinnnns <drool>

Well, fancy seeing you all here...

Fantastic, thanks IC <grabs muffin and coffee>

I found you! Thanks IC for starting the new thread and to SB for signposting it.

Mous - I thought our 26 degree heat wave might amuse you

<waves>

I finally did some water play with DD. Started with a washing up bowl with water in, then a load of pots, pans, utensils, plates etc. Then with a neighbour they played with some spray bottles (69p from wilko's - lot cheaper than water pistols)

hope everyone else is also enjoying the hot weather

<runs back to DD>

PA - brilliant idea, might let dd2 loose on the garden with a few buckets... We have an outside tap too which thankfully she hasn't discovered yet.

DD and her little friend were enjoying water play in a pal's back garden yesterday - just pouring stuff between pots. It was lovely watching them! Her friend has a fabulous sandpit too - DD thought she'd gone to heaven!

Just been out washing machine shopping after the one here gave up the ghost and turned out to cost more to fix than to replace. Luckily, there's a shop just round the corner which does second hand and reconditioned appliances - so an almost-new Bosch is arriving on Monday (£150) - that'll sort us! Luckily, we have a lovely neighbour opposite who's been letting us put on loads at her place (and DD is in disposables for the moment to cut down on laundry). Probably the least stressful washing machine breakdown I've ever experienced...!!

HELLO!!!! Found you at last, thank you SB for posting on FB, I just haven't had time to read anything or write anything for ages!
We now have a fabulous sandpit which DD loves. It is under a big tree in the garden so lots of shade, really popular with her preschool friends too!
I have done my back in , lots going on and trying to cope (again) with dogs and dressing a toddler, DP is away on tour, my mum's on holiday and friends and neighbours have been super helpful. I can now pick things up from the floor, which I haven't been able to do for the last three days so the place is a disaster!!!
How is everyone else? Isn't the weather fab? IC your washing machine sounds good, fingers crossed it all works well! I can't imagine being without a washing machine ever now!!!
Right, off to book DP's Speed Awareness course

Abs poor you, I hope it gets better soon. But it's nice to hear from you.

mous when is your DD1 op? and DD2 hearing test?

The cake sale was today and we at 3pm (when I finished work) we had raised £172 ! I'm well pleased especially as I've asked for this money to go to a premature baby foundation, created over here. I guess we'll get £200 by Monday when the night and weekend shifts will visit the kitchen . I'll post a photo of the cakes on FB.

I'm tonight having a relaxing evening by myself (DS is sleeping and DH is working), so it'll be tv, and early night

I'm flying solo too SB. The kids are in bed, I've finished some work I needed to do and I've (uncharacteristically) ordered a Chinese to be delivered. And relax...

Great to hear from you Abs. Glad your back is on the mend.

IC great news about the washing machine.

Good to hear about so much water play. I was bad mummy today and sent DD2 to nursery for an extra day as I had so much work on. But it was a swap for a week on Tuesday, which we have to pay for yet is a bank holiday, and DD2 came home saying "Lovely day at nursery" so I don't feel too bad.

I have one of my weekends with my sister lined up for this weekend, which will be gorgeous in this weather. Now I just have to hope that DH comes back from his heavy metal concert tomorrow morning in one piece...

BBB will that be evil to say that hopefully your DH will come home tomorrow with a hangover and that your girls will get him to suffer?

If the weather stays like this tomorrow, I may risk water play...

Paddling pool all the way tomorrow although with all the tonight (Hic) to celebrate my new job I may not be in the mood for much excitement...
Will be interesting to see how things have to change in our household when I work part time because dh will have to do a little more than he does now. With a one hour commute each way I will be out of the house early and back late for at least two days a week...

Abs Hope our back gets better!

SB Wow, your cakes were popular! DD1 was furious with me because they had cake stalls yesterday and I didn't bring any money when I collected her - just dashed out of the house with dd2 in pushchair and my house keys.

IC The sun is shining on you in more sense than one I think

Mous All okay with you?

Just wondered why I feel so tired... Realised the time may have something to do with it... [hic]

Dd2 had a nasty fall head first off her toddler table today. I asked her what she'd been doing on top of it in the first place (she climbs like a monkey at the moment) and she said quite indignantly 'I dancing!'
But of course.

bg have I missed something? What is your new job?

sb I think the dds would suffer more if dh returns with a hangover but I'm hoping his new sensible self will come to the fore

DD can now jump off the sofa's, I predict a few injuries in the upcoming weeks.

don't know if people have a matalan near them, but they do a great bubble thing where the wand gives off loads and loads of bubbles. Is a two pack for £2 here and is better than some of the fancier things I have seen.

dd2 has a new favourite word 'either' and tries to get in into every second sentence whether it fits or not

BBB I've been offered a research post, 2 1/2 days a week. Salary is 10k less than my last post three years ago but it's a brilliant job with great prospects, so I am really excited

That is great BG! I hope you were paid more than I was because 10K less doesn't leave much!

Hearing test clear, DD2 new word is "paille" and is use to anything vaguely similar (sight or sound).
I still think she is a cave girl: wall painting, eating with hands (sometimes shells or sticks, yesterday paint brushed her plate with DH ketchup ), grunting, jump walking and unruly mane .

DD1 op is still debatable, I need more info and feel really wobbly. DH's will probably be in july.

<sorry for me post, I have to go>

that's really good bg glad you are excited about it

mous at your DD2 description

BG great news about the job. Do you have childcare organsied for your DD2?

THe girls had a lovely time in the paddling pool this morning but I'm keeping dd2 in this afternoon. She keeps coming out in a rash with could either be the sun or the sunblock (have tried two of the latter).

mous I asked dd2 if she was a cavegirl and she said yes . Painting with ketchup is very creative you know . As for salary, yep, not much left especially if I take into account that I'm doing 50%, have to commute an hour each way, and have to pay for childcare...

SB Yes, childcare is sorted. Went to the nursery that dd2 went to for a few months (I took her out before Easter because it was just too expensive) and did a small amount of grovelling... They still have her space open and are delighted she is coming back! And dd1 has fantastic after school care at her school, too.

This afternoon I had to do some DIY, sanding the skirting boards in DS new room. So left DS in our bedroom in front of The Aristocats (his favourite at the moment). I checked on him a few times and on the last occasion he had taken the duvet and pillows on the floor.
About 5 mn later, I heard him scream 'patalon' (trousers) so I run into the room to find him cover with my cream face! It was on his face, arms, legs, hairs and trousers!
I would not have been covered with dust, I would have taken a picture

SB I am sure he has very soft skin and smells lovely...

And no wrinkles!

Hi, is it Ok if I join you all ?

of course unless you are disguised as a seller of some sorts

tell us about yourself.

i have DD from this thread and a 7 month DS

Welcome aboard Ohdear - anyone can join!!
Tell us a bit about yourself and your LO/s

BG what cracking news about your job, I'm so pleased for you!!!
<buries small regret about the likely loss of our occasional mid-week SAHM meet-ups>

SB your cake sale sounded (and looked) wonderful! Well done you for getting it organised and raising all that money - nice choice of charity, too.

BBB doesn't sound like you need to be remotely guilty about putting DD2 in the nursery! Hope you're DH has properly appreciated and acknowledged his time off...

Arf at "cavegirl" Mous! Good news that DD2 has added a word to her repertoire!

Sorry about your back, Abs - I hope it's on the mend now.

Nice bubble tip, PA!

We were at the PILs for the night Fri/Sat as DH and I had been invited to the evening do of a wedding. Very chic do, and a great time had by all. Including DD, who adores her GPs and she had a brilliant time playing in the sunshine with pipes, water jugs, floating ducks, trays and suchlike.

BTW is anyone a member of/interested in joining Pinterest?
SB got me thinking about it because it's brilliant for sharing recipes found online. It's also wonderful for ideas for activities for children, among other things. It's basically a sort of online scrapbook/pinboard where you can save all the useful/interesting web pages you've found online (and nab the ones other people have found too) but it's a step up from bookmarking because it stores a pic too so you easily remember what everything is (does anyone else bookmark stuff on their computer then struggle to remember what on earth it was for after a couple of weeks have elapsed?!!)
I think it's an invite-only joining thing, but if any of you are interested, I can email you an invite. I'm really enjoying it!

X-post with PA...!
Ohdear I have a DD on this thread and am currently expecting DS (due end of August)

Waves to OhDear... Have a and I have two dd, one Feb10 one and a nearly 5 year old.

IC I'll only be doing 2 1/2 days so plenty of time for meeting up.

Dd2 has done only one lunchtime nap in the past five days...As she grows out of sleeping at lunchtime I feel I am getting old enough to appreciate a snooze myself

ohdear come and join us, we're a friendly bunch I've got one Ds

BG shame about DD2 dropping her afternoon nap

DS doesn't nap at weekends but does at nursery.

We had a lovely day today, I even managed to catch some sun.

iC thanks for the site advice, I'll look into ot

IC As for SAHM, maybe I can keep honorary SAHM status? Please?

<honorary status conferred>

Once you've settled into the new routine, we must get together then!!

DD has managed to catch my cold, still i've taken the let's drug her up approach in the hopes she gets up a little less tonight than she has been doing.

PA hopefully she'll get better soon

Well it seems that DS has understood the waking up wee in the potty in the morning but the rest of the day is a hit and miss. But hopefully it'll be good weather for the long weekend so we can have nappy free time and nagging about wees in the potty.

PA Hope she feels better soon (and you!) We have been suspiciously free of colds for a few weeks which makes me all twitchy and nervous...

Seems like I will enjoy my SAHM life for a few months weeks longer because in university speak 'as soon as possible' doesn't mean next Monday or yesterday but whenever we can locate the appropriate paperwork, put it in the internal mail by mistake, retrieve it, send it out snail mail, get it back signed, ask for more documents we haven't sent, copy things, file things, ask for more random bits of information, and file some more sometime in the near future, possibly early July. I think I am too used to toddler speak so that as soon as possible to me usually means three minutes ago

Aw PA, poor old DD - hopefully it won't last long.

Well, if you're at a loose end BG...!

I think you can look at my pinboards without being a member of Pinterest - let me know if this link works - it's my compilation of useful stuff to do with/for small children....

I think DS has got it, which would explain the not being able to put him down at all last night. DH has just taken the first 1 hr shift now so i better get off if we have another night like that

for me the cold has been alright, just annoyed i got it in the hot weather, thanks though

what uni is it bg?

had a good regardless, took DS swimming today while neighbour had DD. she was up at 1:30 so we fitted in painting, water play and scooter ride this afternoon. plus an outfit change for me and DS as the post dal poo in the sling was not pretty

night all

oh IC you use reusuable wipes, what do you use for the wet solution? anything or just water?

Yes, just plain water usually PA - although you can add a drop or two of essential oil if you like. If you carry them around in a bag for use on the move, they can get a bit smelly, so a bit of oil is nice then.

Hope you managed to get some sleep.... x

Congratulations on your job BG! Sounds very exciting. Early July is only one month away you know You will be commuting before you know it! My commiserations on DD2 dropping her nap. I am perservering with DD1's nap as it really does keep me sane. <wafts away MN jinx>

Mous glad DD2's hearing test was clear.

Great to hear from you Abs. Hope your back continues to recover. How did you do it?

SB at the face cream. DD1 adores smearing herself in my creams and I have to be careful to keep them all out of her reach (e.g. on top of the wardrobes as she's now tall enough to reach my dressing table ).

PA I've been wondering how you're getting on. Sorry to hear you've got the lurgy. Get well soon to you and DD.

IC pinterest sounds just fab but I don't ever get on the laptop as it is <glances down at laptop keyboard> OK rarely then. How are you feeling at the mo, has the hot weather bothered you? There was a mini-heatwave in October last year when I was 37 weeks which nearly finished me off.

BBB how was DH after his concert? How are you getting on atm?

Aargh I can hear DD2 squealing. Quick update. Life seems incredibly hectic as we are trying to work on the house, socialise a bit and look after the little ones. I've been referred to a support organisation as I feel I'm really not coping. I feel I can do little bits but I can't do it all, the trouble is it all needs to be done and a lot of days I feel the presssure building and just want to sit on the floor and scream.

DD1 is acting up quite a bit as she feeds off my mood I think, so I am really trying to keep calm while she shouts/screams/behaves so unreasonably it drives me nuts. She has done another wee on the potty and DH wants to go full steam ahead with PT but I can't face it. (I can't even face feeding DD2 solids so how on earth I'm going to PT I have no idea). She is loving nursery which makes me so pleased. At her 2year check the HV said to keep an eye on her speech which surprised me, I have always thought her speech is fine if not a bit advanced, but it is very indistinct and often only DH and I can understand it. She said to call if it hasn't improved in a couple of months. I'm a bit I@m sure it will sort itself out in time.

We have loved loved loved the warm weather and DD1 loves getting out in the garden. DD2 is an utter delight, apart from when I try to put her down to sleep at night (in daytimes no fuss at all) when she screams for up to 45 mins (with me going in periodically to resettle). Not sure what to do about it.

Better go, the dreaded ILs are due any minute. I love reading your posts even though I can only seem to get on myself occasionally.

scones nice to hear from you and I hope the support organisation will help you cope. <hugs> {grin] about the ILs

BG It'll come quickly enough, just enjoy your last few weeks not working. I know the feeling as 'one minute' at home actually means 'NOW'

scones glad you are getting some support. Has the house move made things a lot worse for you?

for the most part I would say we are well and I am enjoying things

although today I have been very tired and DS has cried a lot as well so not hopeful for tonight.

Scones I am so sorry you still feel overwhelmed. I know this is not what you want to hear but please consider PND again. I had exactly this kind of anxiety when having PND after dd1. <hugs>

dd2's favourite word of the day is 'actually'. She's also still fond of 'either' and if she tries to fit both into one sentence the result is often hilarious!

scones it is hard and I hope the support organisation helps (and well done on seeking help). It does get easier, but try and be kind to yourself. Do not feel like you are letting someone down if you can't do everything <repeats to self>

BG the job sounds very exciting. Enjoy your last few weeks of being full time at home and don't forget about us when it all starts!

PA how you doing?

DH returned by 8:30am last Saturday so it looks as though his efforts are still being sustained . He and the DDs had a nice weekend while I was away with my sister, and she and I had a good time just catching up, walking and enjoying the sunshine (there may have been a lot of snacks involved ).
Knackered again now though, due to busy week.

DD2 doing well with "big girl knickers" as she calls them, and just the odd accident (though these are usually poo related, which is a bit icky). She's also suddenly dry at night, though I'm keeping her in pull ups at night until the days are definitely sorted out.

<waves to mous, IC, stone, bear and everyone else>

we're still tired over here. DS didn't get put down until 12 last night, but it did mean I got a three hour stretch of sleep.

Apparently DD was awake every 30 mins last night (once DS was off I was out). I got really annoyed at DH though because he didn't think to give her some drugs. I hate it being my responsibilty to think of these things, now I feel guilty he was up a lot in the night. By being tired himself despite me having DS it means he is of no help tonight. DS has just gone down, even if it only lasts 10 mins it's some time with two hands

Dd fell off one of those plastic garden slides (she was trying to copy a boy who went down backwards and fell during the turning). So she is sporting a extensive graze along her cheek, eye and forehead. it's very light, just a large area as the grass being dry meant it was gritty. As evidenced by her waking she still has a cold and had a short nap yesterday so that afternoon between the two of them was rather fun

feel bad that I haven't sat down and played properly with just her for a while, but maybe at playgroup this afternoon I can get someone to hold DS for a bit.

<end me me me post>

Aw PA, argh on your behalf. I hope you get a chance both to rest and to have some fun with DD.

Scones good you've asked for a bit of help - no shame in that, much better that you feel supported than overwhelmed.
<more hugs>

BBB how lovely to have time to hang out with your sister!

DD is generally fine, but her poo-phobia is a bit of a downer. She's sometimes holding on for three days before finally letting it out and we have some right old tizzies from her when she's desperate to go. Yesterday was probably the worst yet - and once again, she was a different child once she was all done and wearing a new nappy. I think she dislikes the inevitable post-poo nappy change as much as fearing the sensation of needing to go. Anyway, it's become a bit of a drama. Thankfully, she went again this morning without a histrionic build-up. I've suggested using the potty to her, but the idea hasn't really got through.

I got a free copy of Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting by Noel Janis-Norton from MN and I'm pretty impressed so far. The first chapter focuses on Descriptive Praise, which I've come across before (in Positive Discipline and ^How To Talk...^) but she's much more detailed about how to used it and we're already getting results from DD. I'll let you know how the rest of the book's advice shapes up!

I've started getting swollen ankles in the evenings. I never got those with DD, I suppose that's the benefit of T3 during the winter. Mmm, cankles - not a great look..!

<hugs scones>

we actually had a nice afternoon. As it was muggy the splash park was deserted, which is right next door to the playgroup. Made a crown at playgroup and then let DD buy some doughnuts all by herself (she got them off the self, queued, gave them and the money to the lady, then collected the change and put it in her pocket) DS didn't sleep long but being on the move meant he was content enough in the sling.

remember ankles are the price of the DC2 book sounds interesting, would definitely be interested in more feedback.

It's the end of a long day! DS woke up at 5.30am then started screaming 5mn later as he was wet: when DH went to see him, he was bappy free with a soaked bed! So it was a bath, bed stripping and washing of the fitted sheet, duvet cover, duvet and cuddly tortoise (plus pj and vest) all of this before 6am

PA fx you'll get more sleep tonight

Waves to everybody else <yawn>

well DD is down for a nap already so has appeared to go downhill. She's had it for 5 days now so it hasn't followed a normal cold schedule.

Do you all have plans for the ? I feel like I am the only one who has not bought bunting or made a cake to stick little flags in, and have no intention to celebrate anything. Am I just a spoil sport or can I get away with being foreign?

dd2 not sleeping today and creating havoc. Just found her standing on her sister's desk painting her face with felt tip pens saying 'I'm a tiger!'. Found it so funny I grabbed camera and camcorder before getting her down. She is now in front of the mirror admiring herself... (dd1 had full face paint on yesterday after a play at school)

awwww

<whispers> DD is down thankfully

we were going to give potty training a go, but as she seems ill I don't know. Plus I have to start my presentation <eek>

PA I take my hat off to you just getting through the day on so little sleep. Must admit of my two hadn't been such good sleepers I am not sure I would be sane and married by now...
Hope your dd feels better soon!

IC feel so sorry for your dd. Have you tried posting in development? Someone might have some really good tips to help with her poo phobia.
And sorry to hear about your ankles. For your sake I hope the sumer is not a scorcher.

BBB Your dd2 has just been awarded another medal! She got one for being he first on this thread to sleep through the night and now she gets another for being the first dry at night...

Argh, washing machine has died (suspicious look at IC and another local friend... Think there's a lethal virus going round!!!). Our replacement won't be as painless as yours though IC, what with the extended bank holiday

Sorry to hear that BG but I had to laugh at the virus!
No coronation party here <antiroyalist "catholic" FIL, the only true British in my family and too many foreign influence >

PA good luck <hugs if you want? not sure if you are a hug accepting person> Good luck with the presentation

IC put your feet up!

BBB <hugs>

I just bought DD2 her 1st play dough! [crap mum emoticon] she loves it and didn't eat it even when i left her without supervision, I am ashamed that I was actually expecting her to do it.

I am listening to DD1 reading a child friendly fired safety manual in a foreign language, I am rather impressed [super proud mum emoticon] . She has done so well. Sorry to dither to her but we are having some hard time with her not coping with changes of routines and possible panic attack (school is concerned)... but she has done so much in the pass year

BG no celebrations in this household neither. We're having a party on Sunday but it's for a birthday.

mous to hear your DD1 is having anxiety problems, I hope she'll settle soon.

PA good luck with your presentation.

IC elevate your feet as often as you can

I need to get the sewing machine out in order to mend the new curtains I bought for DS's room.

DS has discovered cherries. He really enjoys eating fruits (costs me a fortune but at least it's an heatlhy snack)

Thanks for the feet elevation advice!
<summons DH to fetch cup of tea>

A friend of mine has just started potty training her DD who is 2 weeks older than my DD - we visited the first morning and her LO had done 2 pees in the potty, (one at her own request), did another while we were there and no accidents. Good start! You never know, PA - it might turn out to be quite painless....
My DD was impressed and insisted on sitting on her potty later - with no result, but hey. At least she's getting interested in the idea.

Boo at your early morning wake up call, SB - NOT the best way to start the day...!
DD loves cherries too. Can't say I blame them, yum!

Impressive stuff from your DD1, Mous!
Hmm, must remember to give DD her play-dough. It's been sitting in its pots for months.....

BG our machine broke on the Monday - it was the following Monday evening when we finally got the replacement! A combination of helpful neighbours, DH's parents and a useful second-hand domestic appliance shop got us through!!
Had to arf at the thought of your DD2 in her "face paint"!

We're off to a street party on Tuesday, but otherwise not doing anything special. I'm going shopping on my own tomorrow, though <excited>

Shopping on your own IC Is that allowed??

Sewing is done and I don't think I woke up DS

BG a friend's DD also draw a tiger strips on her face this week with a felter pen... (wonder if this is another bug?) Can't you get a washing machine tomorrow? (I bought one 2 hours after ours broke down a few months ago)

can i come?

PA

mous can you send your dh on a guilt trip saying that his darling dd1 is starting to have anxiety attacks because he is dithering too much to ensure a stable education for her at least for another year or two? And by the way, she has done incredibly well to catch up so much and do so well!!!

Oh, and play doh is fab . dd2 loves it and likes mixing colours (No darling, I can't mend it for you...). She is also really keen on marbles, coins, buttons (my mum has the most fantastic collection of old buttons, some of them huge), and playmobil (which dd1 ignores and has never played with). I am still waiting to find small pieces of something in her nappy though because I don't trust her completely.

SB I guess we could get a washing machine quickly if we could but not with dh taking ages to decide which one... He likes to do his own research taking ages and then agrees with my suggestion Just as well dd1 has next week off on half term, so does not need her uniform. She likes to climb trees, hide in bushes, play chase, find treasure by digging etc so needs a new dress every day and I ended up hand washing one for her.
Sewing machine... hmm. I should really get one of those.

IC Shopping on your own Hmmmm.

PA Good luck with interview preparation!

dd2 has been incredibly cheeky today and at one point ended up in her cot for time out for a minute or two (she kept pressing the off button on my laptop which I didn't think was very funny because I was actually trying to do some work). dh was away for two nights for work and this morning dd2 kept following him around everywhere which was quite cute. She will also only let him read her bedtime stories and does not seem to mind his strong accent when he reads German books (his German is quite good but his accent isn't - dd1 got to a point where she wouldn't let him read German... )

Oh and I realised I lied about not doing anything for the . We are invited to a BBQ on Sunday and my friend send a text in a panic saying there is absolutely no bunting left in town at all anywhere and what can she do... I'll get the girls to colour in the mn template to take along but it may not be in conventional colours

BG thanks for the pm, it made me re-read the message about the impending birth of DS which looking back is exactly what happened to me. Made me

DD still put money etc. in her mouth still as well.

I've also caved and put a stair gate on DD's door and so far it has worked great, although I'm not holding my breath once she's better and finally twigs what's going on. We open it once she's asleep.

we are actually doing nothing for jubilee. good luck with getting your machine sorted out.

did any one bf biters? DS has taken a few nibbles, got too bad but I'm already getting a bit nervous regarding feeds. so far it has happened at the end when i have zoned out and guess he''s either saying 'oi! get rid of this' or thinks it's a new exciting teething toy. He's had the teeth a few weeks so not like they are anything new.

PA seems like yesterday...

Hello everyone - another of my infrequent visits. Saw your dd's poo phobia IC and wondered if you had come across Poo Goes to Pooland? I can email you a copy if you haven't. It did help with dd1's reluctance to poo in the loo which as you probably know is pretty common. Good to hear yet more positive feedback on Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting. I have read a number of articles praising the author and her techniques - apparently Helena Bonham Carter is a big fan - and am now quite tempted to get this book.

DS is still asleep I'm actually worried that he's unwell! I guess I'll know when he wakes up

dd spiked a 39+ fever last night, maybe he stole that <not helpful>

<gets back to housework>

Hi everyone - sorry I haven't posted for ages and ages. Just so busy with two of them and the baby is a screams-when-put-down one. Hot days were really hard because too hot for moby or ergo. I bought a ring sling off ebay but I think it is a cheapo one and the the material is too skimpy so it's not very comfortable (can't spread weight over shoulder and rings end up digging in my neck).

She will now only sleep on me at night. Quite often on her tummy on me. Which worries me greatly as regards SIDS. DH still sleeping on inflatable bed downstairs. I need pillows and apparently they are a big no-no when it comes to co-sleeping. I feel very guilty but I don't know what to do - if she screams she wakes DS and I need what sleep I can grab even if it is at a crooked angle and with a baby on me.

Am hoping it is the difficult lead up to wonder week 8. She's 7 weeks now by due date.

Well done on new job BG.

Scones - I am sorry things are difficult for you at the moment.

PA - Sorry you are all so tired. It's good to put vaseline on grazes. Helps prevent scarring. I only found this out after Alex got a scar.

it was my understanding tummy sleep was fine on you, risk is more from rolling over.

i slept with a pillow but had DS further down and the pillow at a 45 degree angle

DS had the wonder week combined with a late 6 week growth spurt <shudders at memory>

i've been ok with the kari-me much to my surprise but i don't go out between 12 and 3. does your cry if laid in the buggy as well?

when dd was down i would just take ds and lay in bed, even if he wasn't yet sleepy.

Who rolling over - me or baby? I always sleep on my back so I wouldn't roll. When I was pg I kept waking up and finding I'd gone from side to back as it's what I do naturally.

i meant you. I sleep on my stomach, even up to end of pg. sleeping on your back is a alien concept to me

IC erm how do the logistics of wipes work for poo nappies, especially when out? I have cut up bit of a sheet and have some lavender in from DS's birth. I have not yet admitted defeat and got the sewing machine out to them it all properly.

Just trying to think of where to put soiled wipes. Assumed with wet ones, i would just put them inside the nappy until washing time but with soiled nappies I need to empty the nappy first. <hopes I am explaining myself properly>

sometimes I see people with newborns and think aww, they are so small but that quickly replaced with feeling sorry for the parents. It is fair to say I am far fom broody

Hi extremely lovely to hear from you! I'd be very interested in Poo Goes To Poland, thanks for the offer! I'll PM my email.

PA if I'm somewhere where I can rinse the soiled wipes out, I do so, then store in a draw-string waterproof bag to throw in the wash when I get home. But if not, I usually shove them inside the dirty (washable) nappy and rinse them through when I get home. If you haven't got a waterproof bag (I got a couple in my packs of Pop-In nappies), then make sure you always have some ziploc bags with you - one for clean, moist wipes, the other for the soiled ones.
Let me know if you need any more tips!!

Bc - DD would only sleep on my chest for the first few weeks, but I did eventually wean her onto her Cocoonababy. My feeling is, if you're a habitual back-sleeper, she'll most likely be fine there - your own body heat and breathing etc. will regulate hers.
You can have pillows if you co-sleep, just make sure they're well away from the baby. Best way to do it, if your cradling the baby to breast/under an arm is to put the baby in their own sleeping bag (or whatever) on top of your duvet, well below the level of your pillow. If she's on top of you, pillows shouldn't present a danger to her. I actually used my stretchy sling as DD's covers when she was sleeping on me - it meant I didn't worry about her rolling off me (and the fabric was breathable) - I left it fairly lose.
In the hot weather, you'd probably find a mai-tei sling to be most comfy for you and the baby as they use the least amount of fabric. They're also relatively easy for back-carries too, when you get to that stage! Mind you, I found my woven Calin Bleu cool gauze wrap sling to be fine for me and DD during the summer in Madrid - just made sure both of us were lightly dressed (and used strategic positioning of muslins to shield DD's bare legs from the sun - another trick was to fold a rolled-up muslin in the sling fabric behind her head for extra support. Worked a treat! If you check the FB page, I stuck a load of photos of DD in the red cool sling, if you want to see some of the things I did to help carry her comfortably.


SB here's hoping your DS isn't brewing any bugs.....

Well, DS has been been 38.5C and 39C all day, very clingy and drowsy too. I just need to see what'll come out of it (my money is on chicken pox).

Just wanted to say hi to you all after another week of work-thank heavens for half term!
Hope all poorly ones are better soon.
Scones well done for asking for help. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other was always my motto. I can't imagine moving with 2 little dc.
I'm leading the local Brownies pack in some singing in a village review tomorrow for the jubilee-which has also kept me busy! We've got a box car race through the village too and cream teas etc..
Anyway, time with dh tonight so have to dash.
Looking forward to Wednesday.
Love to all.

Well, DS woke up at his normal time of 6.30am this morning and he's happily having breakfast. So I just need to chekc his temp but it seems to be back to normal (except for the potty use refusal).

Weather is grey and drizzely over here, that'll be fun to have a outdoor bbq this afternoon

Waves to all

Oh, SB glad to hear he's doing ok and has swerved the pox. I don't know how many times I've been sure that DS has been exposed to it via other children who came down with it a few days after they were together but he is still yet to have it.

IC - I looked up cocoonababy, it looks like a fab idea but I blanch slightly at the price.

Survival I hope your day goes well and the brownies are in good voice, sorry the weather is so cruddy.

My mum has taken DS for the day so I am mostly bumming around in my pyjamas and catching up on me-time as amazingly there's not loads of washing and tidying to do. The string broke on my bedroom window blind as I was pulling it up this morning but I'm going to ignore that. I guess I could cook tomorrow's lunch.

Oh and I booked a table at Heston Blumenthal's Dinner for the 6th July for me and DH as it's our 10th wedding anniversary. Will take kids and my mum and leave them in Regent's park for a couple of hours so I hope the weather is good.

DH has gone by himself to the bbq as DS is still not fully recovered (the temp is gone but he's still sleepy and clingy).

His new bedroom is finished, just need the carpet to be fitted next week and we can move him.We're just missing a bedside table from Ikea as it's not stocked in France (a friend will get it on his next UK trip).

bc enjoy your me time and the meal next month.

PA no experience on reusable wipes but I used to store the wet and dirty reusable nappies in a bag like this one.

well despite DH being the reason I haven't made the switch before, now that I have done it he seems quite impressed. (as he was the SAHD i respected his decision and took me until now to stop, although I use cotton wool and not wipes anyway).

DD doesn't have a fever anymore and even slept through last night but got up at 5:30

We attempted to de-swaddle DS last night, that didn't last long.

Your anniversary plan sounds lush bc

glad DS seems on the mend sb

weather is looking rainy for wed but can't think of anywhere that will be better suited than my place with forrays out if weather seems OK. If people think of something I won't be offended. I will message my address out at some point (I have quickly snuck into here)

<gets back to huge list of jobs we seem to have up>

jubilee smuliee

Hello, sorry I've not been able to post for so long. I've had a rather strenuous 3 weeks where I've had to be travelling every week day, and the occasional Sunday. Having said that while coping with jet lag and lack of sleep, I did manage to fit in some sight-seeing, about 5 hours total in the 3 weeks! And DD has understandably been a little more keen to stay with me while I'm at home during the weekends. However have been lurking throughout, really appreciate reading all your posts! Though sorry to hear about the broken sleep, and odd illness/fever. Reading about your descriptions of #2 has made me incredibly broody however!

BC though we didn't have a cocoonababy we used a pillow instead. DD would only sleep on top of me or DH, or in DH's arms in a soft pillow! Always felt it was highly dodgy, but she slept really soundly and never turned. Use at your own risk though!

IC thanks v much for the pinterest links, have gone and got some poster paints to try out the ziplock paint idea and also a pipette and food colouring for the other one. Fingers crossed for tomorrow..... In fact DD also loves the Laura Veir CD especially Jump, causing her to quickly hasten to the trampoline. A friend of mine recommended this CD, which DD also loves dancing to.

If you have any other Cd suggestions I'd love to know them? And an invite to pinterest wold be lovely!

rainbow so nice to hear from you. Hopefully your job will be less full on in the next few weeks

DS and I webt to that party at the end to pick up DH; we only staid for an hour as DS started tobe grumpy as he wasn't allowed to watch films on the ipod. He is on the mend tho especially as he did a few wees in the potty meaning that the pull up he got on a 10.30am will be worn tomorrow!!

It's quite funny but DH and I are speaking like DS when he's not with us! ie 'broken' when someone die on tv or something stop, 'maman / daddy more...' when you either want more or want to wind each other up Are we just odd or are you picking up some your DC phrases too?

SB you are quite normal.. We have family phrases dating back to when dd1 was small and dd2 has added quite a few

BG phew! I can cancel the psy appointment relax now

An update on the pipettes/food colouring idea. DD started as expected with the water droplets, and was happily dropping coloured water drops onto the kitchen towel. Then I may have made the mistake of giving her a paintbrush, which she then tried for another few mins, before pouring all the liquid contents from one bowl into the other, and finally onto the flat container, and soaking tissue and squeezing it all out several times. How did that other 2 year old manage to be occupied for a whole hour?!

However she was very happy after especially as my husband made lamb chops and rice for dinner, and told us both that she loved us repeatedly during dinner.

Ha ha ha!! At least she enjoyed herself! Maybe one to do outside for the time being..?!! DD loves tipping water from one container to another too...
rainbow, great to hear you trying out some of those ideas - PM me your email and I'll invite you to Pinterest forthwith!
Glad your DD is enjoying Laura Veirs, too!

bc I baulked at the price of the Cocoonababy initially too, but as I intended it to be used by DC2 (and then could probably sell it on) I figured it was worth it (we used to carry it around with us when we visited other people for naps and things too - plus cos DD was so small she didn't grow out of it until she hit 7 months). I can understand you being reluctant to shell out on one now, though!!

For those whose toddlers like water play - a lady at the one o'clock club suggested this stuff - Gelli Baff - it turns water into gunk and back again. I bought some of the Gelli Play one and did it in a washing up bowl in the garden. May well get the bath one for next time. It doesn't actually turn it to jelly - more like rubbery crystals, I think it must be made of the same stuff as those water balls that florists use (that DS also likes to play with, dumping from bowl to bowl and digging with his diggers).

Do you know about the play at home mom blog? They have lots of good ideas.

we had to introduce the no tipping main water bowl into the grass rule

Nice blog, Bc! I think some of my pins actually came from that one....

Think I have a lawyer in the making... Dd2 is aware of der rights and told me this morning 'you are not allowed to touch me!' when I tickled her

'her rights' flipping phone

BG

dd2 has been quite a handful this weekend, partly because she now totally refuses a lunchtime sleep (that she desperately needs) and partly because dh has been home longer than a normal weekend. Guess she's not too bad really but her short temper has been difficult... <realises I'm waffling and decides to go to bed....>

Hope all the poorly ones are feeling better and everyone had a good weekend.

And another update on the poster paints in the ziplock idea.... DD was quite taken with it esp once we took out a small rolling pin. But then quickly cottoned on the if she scratched the plastic with her nails, holes would appear allowing the paint to come out!! For those who didn't see the pnterest site, the idea was to take a large ziplock bag, place an A4 paper inside and on top if the paper large dollops of paint. Tape all sides of ziplock bag on stable surface.

However we did find an activity the she really took to for 2 hours... Involving coloured paper, prittstick glue and child scissors. take an A4 paper, give child gluestick, and tear paper of other colour into small pieces allowing child to stick on original A4 paper, or allow child to cut small paper pieces herself. For an even more creative experience, you can draw something on the largepiece of paper then fill in with appropriate colour paper pieces. Result happy satisfied child and parent!

Hi IC have PM-ed you my private email.

DD occupied herself for 30 mins by playing with her satsuma peel in her teacup set. Later same thing but with mixed nuts.

woohoo! 1st poo on the toilet!

Good craft activities, rainbow!
I've sent you an invite, hopefully you'll find it easily! Dead simple to join, just do it via FB.

Mous - well done! (to your dd2 clearly)

mous well done to your DD2

on the subject of which I have a potty training question(s)

we started having a go this weekend to take advantage of DH being so many days. We learned that DD does 1 maybe 2 wee's between 8 and 12. Nothing for 3 hours after nap and then a flood around getting dinner ready/dinner time.

She hasn't been upset but for the most part would tell us when she was doing or have just done. Before this afternoon, all wees on potty were from me being able to tell she needed go. She often does a few drops first or she went still so didn't count in my book.

So I was all ready to go back to nappies tomorrow and then this afternoon we went by herself a few times. As a reward for going in the potty we have been giving her chocolate milk so the flood this evening was torrential but she did great and even did a poo.

Do I carry on (with visitors tomorrow being ready for a half naked DD) and what do I do about continuing the reward system (worried i have dug myself a hole) or going out (which is what I am really concerned about re potty training in general - the thought of wee's in the buggy)?

If I didn't have a DS who needs so much holding I think I would be more confident or up for it. At least handle the thought of staying in for a few more days or going at her pace.

however DD's face when she thought there was a sausage in her potty was priceless, so she kept trying to do more. (she thinks sausages are one of the best foods ever)

Hahaha re sausages, PA! Sounds like you and she are doing really well. DS still hasn't got back into the swing of potty use since his massive regression over it on the arrival of DD. He knows when he is pooing for sure because we talk about it (and weeing I think), he just doesn't want to use the potty.

Well done to Mous's DD.

Hope those of you meeting up tomorrow have a wonderful day. Wish I could be there.

I've had a bit of a difficult day. Was knackered last night so DH got 'dirty' fried chicken from the shop round the corner. I never liked the look of it, we always thought they were a bit dubious hygeine-wise and we were proved right today - had a mediumly bad tummy and felt rotten all day. Couple of times I thought I had pooed myself. DD is being textbook week-8-ish. Fussing over the boob, on and off all the time and then getting upset about getting sprayed in the face. I feel achey from sleeping sitting up. DH has been great give him his due.

Had lunch out - managed to eat a bit of fish and fennel salad which made me feel a bit better - with two other local mums and their husbands and kids in a pub with a big garden. Lots of other people with kids had the same idea so there was quite a gang running around. It was cute to see DS and his friends actually talking to one another properly (although it was mainly bossing each other around). My best friend came over with her mum late afternoon - both of them stinking of fags - I felt I had to let the mum hold the baby briefly but luckily she was in a crying mood so she didn't have her for long.

I will PM you, IC for the pinterest thingy.

PA I would carry on the training. Especially if she's happy to sit on the potty and understand what's happening. But it comes from a mum whose DS is refusing to sit on the potty at the moment (hopefully due to his recent illness)

Oh and to stop the half naked toddler do you gave a dress or long top that she can wear without a bottom?

dd2 had the shock of her life tonight... dd1 wanted to look at some picture albums with dh, and dd2 joined them, seeing pictures of herself as a baby as well as some with me pregnant. She seemed incredulous when dh told her it was her in my tummy 'But I don't fit!' Later when I put her to bed she asked me 'Mama, was I in your tummy?' I told her that yes, she was but she was quite small then... Hope the poor little thing won't have nightmares tonight! She has absolutely no idea, hasn't noticed bumps on women and has only just the other day met a new baby (she complained he was too loud!). dd1 was very clued up at this age due to the imminent arrival of dd2 . It never occured to me that dd2 was so clueless!

PA Sounds like your dd has got the general idea and is doing pretty well!

BG your DD2 is priceless

awwww I can't imagine having that kind of conversation with DD.

thanks for feedback. It is ridiculous how happy we were with poo and wee related events today I feel a bit better but still dreading carrying on with rl. Oh well, it will be fine and at least tomorrow's guest understand I am hoping their toilet antics will help with DD so we may be following you

PA I potty train DD1 around that age (may be slightly earlier) and never had any accident (hmm, 1 birthday excitement a week in, 1 "I am holding a little more because the toilets are too dirty" after a few months, and 2 scares, years later; which is peanuts)

Don't force it just go with the flow. DD2 has been showing signs since Xmas but is still in nappies. She refuses to wear underpants now as the last time she did she peed and pooed in them, so technically she is trained if bum naked but still has a nappy outside or if dressed but she will get there I am not really fussed about it (mainly because I don't have to wipe the floor I guess/admit)
Have fun today! wish I was there.

OK she wants me to play ping pong I just need to finished my coffee in peace <whale....>

Have a great day today

Good news on all the potty-training progress!
DD often talks about wearing big girl knickers and using her potty, but it's all talk so far!

Bc sorry you had some gut trouble after dodgy chicken. Glad you're feeling a bit better now. I'll look out for your pm.

BG arf at your DD2! Classic!

1st sentence is coming out a bit smug, what I meant is that accidents don't always happen.

I thought about PMing you IC and figured I'd make do with just looking at your pins

This morning was great and I very much appreciated being able to host as it made things a lot easier for me. DD also very much enjoyed herself and talking about everyone when she went to bed (she straight off). Still in shock at how heavy other 2 years can be.

mous not at all. It genuinely is great to hear of others people experiences and this morning has been a good confidence builder for me as well seeing the others.

I've not had a awkward MN meet up, it's amazing how we know each other but don't

Hello... It's been 2 years... Could I rejoin please? xx

please do

How are all the kids doing now Mine is called Faith and she's really mischievous but very clever. She's toilet trained, but been having a few accidents lately which I think might be an attention thing. We've just discovered what a positive impact it has on the kids to eat meals around the table so we're on with that at the moment. Hope you're all well.

Hello Fanatic!

Ah...the meet-up...
Any piccies..??!

I keep on adding PA, so if you keep an eye out, there's always more accumulating!!
(but I am actually doing a number of the things suggested by my pins - recipes, cleaning techniques etc. etc....I'm finally becoming a domestic goddess!)

IC

So how was the meeting up? Did the DC got oon? Did you?

I managed to get DS back on the potty and he produced 2 wees (wake up and before bedtime). In average, how long does your LO goes in between wees? I got the feeling DS is between 2 to 3 hours.

Welcome fanatic!

Thanks for the invite IC. It is quite a lovely site! If I feel brave enough might give the doctor surgery idea a go....

Looking forward to hearing about the meet up.... Did some baking with DD over the Jubilee weekend, just a modified cake recipe which we then made into cupcakes, but she loved it. Also recommend trying a biscuit recipe. Happy to share link to my recipe blog that i use to sporadically accumulate recipes once I upload those 2 recipes there, if anyone interested.

Well done on all the potty successes!! Very impressed. We've not actively started yet though DD likes to check out what her poo looks like after nappy changes, and she likes sitting on the toilet before bath and flushing it.

Tomorrow I am going to brave playgroup

just in time for DS to throw a spanner into the wors IC

I have DD who is mostly great as long as you keep her active and out the house as long as possible

rainbow how odd, yesterday I started blogging some recipes down although once my staples are up there it probably won't be updated that often.

The meet-up was really easy and relaxed, I think everyone had a great time, although I did offer tea and then forget to actually make it. children did do some interacting with each other but still mostly observing and then commenting on what they did.

Love the pictures!! Sorry I couldn't make it to the meet-up in the end. It just got too complicated....

I've emailed invites to Bc and SB for Pinterest - if they're not in your inbox, check your spam! Have fun

Blimey, I don't know what got into DD last evening, but supper onwards was a contradictory gale of mini-tantrums. How DH and I kept our cool, I'm not sure, but somehow we did. I guess she was just tired, she certainly zonked pretty quickly at bedtime.

I've been giving DD a head massage before saying good night and I've noticed we've had a lot less of her staying awake for ages nattering since I've started doing that. Interestingly, I've recently discovered the top of the head is also a prime EFT/tapping point (and I've started gently adding the other tapping points too) - but for whatever reason, it certainly seems to have a wonderful calming effect on DD. I've started encouraging her to do some tapping when she starts to get worried about needing a poo and that seems to be helping too. Useful technique!!

Hi everyone <waves> We've had some disturbed nights with DD2's cold and I'm doing nights and mornings as staying at my mum's without DH so pretty shattered <yawns, looks longingly at bed>

How was the meet up?

No more PT progress here, not that I'm really fussed tbh, I live in hope that it is going to mysteriously 'just happen' without any effort from me

Hi to Fanatic

Oh and I'm in awe at you using reusable wipes PA and IC. I'm using disposable nappies while here and it is just so, so, so much easier. I will continue with the cloths at home but I must admit I hate all the extra work involved.

scones re "it is going to mysteriously 'just happen' without any effort from me". Snap! That is my hope too. . It did actually happen for 2 of my friends who waited till after their DDs were 2.5 years to 3 years. Both kids were girls however!

Rainbow It happened like that with my dd1 and she was 2.6. I told her I might have to give away her nice girl pants because they didn't fit with a nappy on... She took her nappy off there and then, used the toilet and skipped the potty, and had virtually no accidents ever. Somehow I don't think dd2 will be so accommodating

Sorry I have come for a moan. Y-day saw mclaren 2011 techno "used twice" for sale on ebay for £100 - sent DH for it (seller 15 mins walk away) - he came back (paid cash) and it was dirty, sticky and with a big rip in the plastic sunshade. I did ask him to check it over so God knows what he was thinking. Blame myself for not going. Keep crying. Waiting to see if seller will be decent and refund us.

According to dd2 we are off to 'Mart & Spinster' in a minute. Think she may have misheard that one...

Bear - hope you can sort it!

BC <hugs>

BG your DD2 is amazing!

rainbow that what happens for DD1 still waiting to see if it will click on its own for DD2 <FX>

I went to the hairdresser to cut DD2's hair <sniff> as without the curls they were down her back and far too hot. She cried real tears, and when she got of the seat (the car actually) she tried to put her curls back on her head <resniff> she has a bob with curls coming back <DH is very pleased with it>

it will be OK mous <gives a little hug>

managed to fit in the library, park and some shops this afternoon so am a bit tired actually

bc hope they do the right thing as well but DH would have probably done the same.

(he would have assumed that I knew all the facts)

no accidents with me today but as we were all over the place there was a lot of scheduled pottying (i.e. each time when we left)

PA great news about the potty

bc <hugs> hopefully you'll get your money back. We had a bad experience from ebay a month ago when we bought duplo and received dirty megablocks. The seller was adamant they were duplo and did not understand our review!

mous <hugs> DS did the same when his curls went. She'll get used to it soon I hope

Good news on potty PA.

Mous - hugs to you and your DD. It really pulls at your heartstrings when they cry real tears.

Well it was fine in the end - she accepted that it was damaged and not at all 'nearly new' and gave us our money back. I found another for £120 buy it now a bit further away so Joe took the first one back in the car and went on to pick up the other one which is still in its box and was only used for a couple of holidays. It's very smart. And when he turned up the seller said he'd knock a fiver off as he found a small scratch! It's all registered and has a lifetime warranty so all's well that ends well. I think when you are funtioning at your limit it takes so little to knock you sideways and send you a bit mental. I was crying all morning. Feel daft now.

Now DS has gone to bed so I am going to make white chocolate and creme fraiche icing for the orange sponge sandwich cake I've made for DH's birthday tomorrow. I'm not an expert at sponges, think I've only made two before in my life so no doubt it will be slightly heavier than it should be. I think it takes real skill to fold the egg whites in without breaking them up too much. I said he could choose any cake though and he said he wanted an orange sponge.

I am re-reading The Songlines by Bruce Chatwin. I love (good) travel writing. I really like Paul Theroux's books, especially the long train journeys. I like what a curmudgeon he is.

well in my head the good potty time doesn't count as it wasn't instigated by her. Am I setting standards too high?

bc you are right about being on the edge. for me it is when things don't go to plan or as expecteed. not having a plan is fine, but if there is one that doesn't pan out, then I have a mini strop need a few mintues to withdraw and regroup. It's easy to lay all responsibilty on your own shoulders, so even when DH messes up I blame myself.

DH better enjoy your cake, I am sure it will be lovely.

PA impressed by the potty use and no accident! Inspired by all the stories on here I put dd2 on the potty when I got her ready for bed. Dd1 cheered her on and I think she got stage fright , did some pretend straining and a small fart and got up saying 'I can't do it!'... She's probably ready to try without a nappy bit I am not sure I am!!

BBB All well? You've gone very quiet but I hope it's just because you are busy enjoying your time in the Midlands

well we'll see how tomorrow comes

yes BBB if you are lurking then post, I wanted to wait until you came back but would like to hear if you are OK.

I am now oer my strop at sainsburys for refusing to serve me alcohol. I resisted acting like a prat about it though barely

over

PA what happened, did they think you looked too young?

PA did they challenge 21 on you?

BG give it a try but see if you can get DD1 to be less enthousiastic maybe?

BBB You're okay?

DH bought me a 2nd hand iphone today I just need to gef a mini sim card now

I may be young ish but I have the tired face to prove I have two young DCs so should be served on that basis alone . It's their 25 policy

BG and mous can't be coincidence then both yours are also girls.... Good, sounds like scones and I can continue in our no longer vain hope!

PA I've found that a blog is a brilliant place to store recipes, especially with the labels capability. Did Sainbury's refuse to serve because you looked 16?

BC SB I have found that in eBay you can normally get eBay to mediate a refund. Don't leave feedback to the seller until after mediation and contacting them/eBay for a refund.

Had an aggravating day at work today where I found out my boss had apparently been hiding information from me. Grr... I'd leave if only i didn't like my job so much, and the trip to work is only 10mins. What would you do if you had a boss that shared only minimal information and you had trust issues with, but was otherwise tolerable? Gah.

Bear meant to say glad the pushchair thing was sorted out! That kind of thing really stresses me out and dh usually can't see why I am so wound up.

Rainbow -difficult! Maybe keep your eye open for other jobs?

On another note DD was absolutely adorable when went to the nursery parents' afternoon. When I got there she saw me then offered me her drink, and asked, "would you like a biscuit, mummy?" then went to get a biscuit for me.

Then when we got home, and some time after DH came back from the supermarket, she asked DH,"daddy, did you buy oranges?" and when DH said "yes, daddy bought lots of oranges for you!", replied "thank you daddy, I love you!". Does she have us round her little finger?

Yep. She has you all worked out!

PA yes I think your standards are too high (but it seems to be a british thing IME). You have to remind small children to use the toilet and take them at least for the 1st 2 years. It avoids many many accidents, playing is the most important and peeing gets sidetracked easily, and the inevitable "I want to pee now it is urgent" 5 minutes after you left the house and you are stuck in the bus or the subway. So congratulations your DD is potty trained!

Have any of you move your DC into a new room recently? Did you do anything to get them use to their new space? DS is changing bedroom on Minday and I'm a bit worried he'll be unsettle

Well the pullup that was put on at 6.30am this morning will be reused tomorrow as DS did all his wees in the potty (total of 4) (- no poo today). I'm well pleased but I won't put him in big boys pants yet. I just had the timimg right I guess

How is everybody today?

We've not had a washing machine for ten days now (don't ask...) and are still doing okay for clothes... I think that means we own too many things we normally don't wear!

BG 10 days without a washing machine but I know what you mean by having too many clothes.

I've tried to get rid of the ones I wear never rarely but I still have too many pairs of jeans but depending on the time of the month some will fit and some don't

Rainy day over here so we're going to the pub for some big cleaning!

SB to be fair I had washed everything I could find the week we had our British summer <hollow laugh> and dried everything out in the garden, so the wash baskets were empty when the washing machine broke.

Hello everyone!

Sorry for the silence, I have been in the midlands at my parents, and their Internet was down. As my smartphone has packed up, this meant that I didn't have access to Facebook or mumsnet, though I could access my emails if I was very patient. So huge apologies to pa for not turning up last week and not being able to say. The simple reason is that I didn't know the address! I've seen the photos on fb and am sad we missed it, but hopefully there will be other opportunities in the future.

Despite the lack of Internet and the hideous weather, we had a nice time in the midlands. In particular, the DDs enjoyed spending time with their cousins, and I even managed to get a couple of trips out with my sister after bedtime as my parents were happy to listen for the girls.

bear glad your eBay pushchair situation resolved amicably. I agree that tiredness definitely makes such situations stressful, but I would have been anxious about it too. Like sb I had an eBay problem a few months ago when someone sold me megabloks claiming they were duplo. The seller got quite nasty and aggressive, and though I did everything I was supposed to do and kept my dignity throughout, it made me feel quite anxious.

bg I wonder if your washing machine has broken down in sympathy with ic's...

Sounds like toilet training is coming along for many of us. Dd2 is doing really well, though unlike mous I have always encouraged my girls to take the lead on deciding when to go rather than prompting them. I guess it depends on the child.

<waves to everyone and apologises again for being incommunicado while being very touched at the concern shown>

BBB I'm really sorry I didn't message out my address sooner (like when you originally asked)

BBB I've done similar with dd1 and she was very much in charge of when she wanted to use the loo at home. I did usually send her just before going out though and at 3 they seem to be able to go 'in advance', something they can't do at 2.

<breathes deeply>

only a few more hours until MIL goes home

PA have some

PA have lots of then say you feel a bit woozy and go and lie down

Don't be silly PA, you weren't to know that I wouldn't be able to get online for nearly a week before the planned meet up! Normally the internet there is fine (though many of us have tried to sort out wifi and have failed miserably) and I wasn't able to spend much time sorting it out as their PC is in the room where the girls sleep. I did manage to get it working just before I left so I could check the traffic and book my parents flights to Sweden for a family do <angelic emoticon>.

Hope you have survived this afternoon with your MIL PA. We have had a trying day, first with DD1 who took over an hour to get dressed this morning (the irrationality of a five year old) and then DD2 who spent a lot of the afternoon crying and had her first proper wee accident. After quite a while, we twigged that she has a tooth coming through and gave her some Calpol and now she is a different child <bad mother emoticon>.

Now I am trying to sort out things for our (DH, DD1 and me) trip to the Harry Potter studio tour tomorrow. I think I am going to make DD1 choose her clothes tonight to avoid a repeat of this morning's performance....

Sigh, I wish I had a two year old's energy, enthusiasm, curiosity and excitement. Dd2 was literally breathless with excitement when dd1 showed her a secret path in the park

Meet up pics look great!

You got refused service for alcohol, PA?
Hope you got some in the end - sounds like you needed it with your MIL's visit....
Potty training! Most impressed!

BG boo about the washing machine - I hope you can get it sorted fairly painlessly (and soon).

Bc good stuff on sorting the pushchair conundrum. Your cake looks ace on FB - I'm sure your DH must have enjoyed it hugely!

Mous aw (goodbye curls) - it's such a rite of passage, isn't it?!

I'm enjoying seeing you all turning up on Pinterest! Hope you're finding it useful. I'm using my pinned suggestion of a teaspoon of (raw) honey mixed with cinnamon to help see off DD's latest cold. She had a couple of unsettled nights, but hasn't seemed unduly poorly with it during the day. Mind you, after taking until gone 11pm to settle last night (just because of being bunged up, then coughing every time she lay on her back - which was often) we had tantrums galore this morning. I really lost it at one stage (my sleep not only disrupted by DD's cold, but I'm getting to that stage of pregnancy when it's getting rather uncomfortable on my hips, so I'm waking early and tossing and turning rather than getting plenty of restful sleep) so I wasn't in a good place to deal with DD's tiredness. Thankfully, DH held it together reasonably well and she was fine for the rest of the day, cold already seems to be much better. FX for a better night tonight.

Went to see Phantom of The Opera with MIL and SIL on Friday night - which was a treat, except the show really wasn't my cup of tea. Couldn't fault the production - great set and costumes, well-played and sung by the cast - but I found the music uninteresting and overblown, the libretto pants, the story ungripping and the operetta singing-style simply not to my taste. And I usually love musicals! Preferred JC Superstar and Evita.
Nice to have a night out, though! Young Jesus Fosbury found it very exciting and kicked enthusiastically throughout.

I love the way dd2 processes new words by using them as often as she can. This morning's word she likes is 'hope' so I got 'I hope this is mine' when she chose a skirt to wear . It cracks me up every time.

Sorry - just a quick one. We did our first day settling in at a preschool today but I have some worries about it. Did a thread in 'nurseries' here but wondered what you all think? I am really not sure if I'm being precious and seeing problems where there aren't any (or very small) or if it really is not good enough.

BC replied on other thread <hugs>

BC I let DD1 play with tins and don't see the problem, yes they are heavy but no sharp edges (providing the children don't start a war with them). I would have a problem if they were emptied and not smooth.

The balcony would worry me, but I would be really concerned if they actually used a stairgate, as it give a false sense of security (DD2 can easily climb over it while they are attending some nappy change or something). Both staff and children would be safer if there is none and constant supervision. (eg staff sitting on the chairs blocking the stairs).
Thinking about it if it is a removable stairgate DD2 can probably rip it off too.
I don't think stairgates are the answer for children about 1.5 yo. They work only for small babies.

The staff must know that being on a balcony is not safe and will probably be super cautious.
Is there any chairs, toys, boxes that the children can use as steps to climb over the balustrade? Is the railing narrow enough so their heads can't go through? Is the railing horizontal? (It would be my main concern, you should see how they build stairs cases and balcony here )

Ask more questions? may be ask if you can observed one session?

BG is wright follow your instincts.

wright? right

I'll go and take a look at your thread, Bc.

Strange new phobia here - I was repeating a story DD had heard while at toddler group involving saying "tick tock, tick tock" loudly at one point - she freaked! Not sure why it upset her so much, but she kept saying to me "no tick tock, Mummy" afterward. Toddlers do have some odd and unexpected fears!

Thanks so much both of you - I do feel like I am doing it for myself rather than him I guess as 6 weeks is not long enough to settle properly and I worry it will cloud the experience of the lovely preschool when he starts in Sept if he's had a not so good experience.

They said one of them is out there at all times when the kids are playing out. As there are so few children at the mo I think it is v unlikely one would escape unnoticed. I might try and grab a photo of the railings and post it on the group so you can give your verdict.

The two girls who work there are nice but not very animated, not particularly 'up', didn't try to make the kids laugh. I was sitting in the toy kitchen bit and pretending everything was hot and burning my fingers and all the kids were in hysterics - I actually had all 7 of them crowded round me. I feel like although they were warm, they weren't connecting in a particularly fun way. The kids were a bit listless.

It's so hard having a baby and a toddler - I feel like I should be coping better as I have the help from my mum who has DS one and a half days a week and DH who works from home and helps with breakfast and looks after them while I cook dinner. I feel like I'm being selfish and lazy wanting another 6 hours without DS and I worry that he will feel shoved aside.

I had thought that the baby would nap a lot and I could spend more time just with DS but she cries as soon as I put her down and DS is so exuberant (noisy) he wakes her up if she does drop off.

She sleeps in a sling which is ok if we're walking but I can't really sit down comfortably. I love playing with DS but it is much harder with a baby that wants to be on me all the time. I feel like I'm there for her physically (arms and boobs) but mentally it's all about DS - talking and watching him and neither them nor I get all of each other very often. When mum has him I catch up with housework and cooking - I'm lucky if I get to have a quick bath with DD because I can't do anything except childcare when I have them both. I'm so happy when I get to do something with one of them on their own.

DH tried to give DD a bottle of expressed milk last night but in his words it "freaked her out" and she wouldn't take it.

Sorry for huge moan. I know how lucky I am to have 2 when I thought I never would - I wouldn't have it any other way and TTSP.

Dd2's phrase of the day is 'one day' but she is struggling to get it into sentences... Just got 'Do you want to sleep one day on the floor,yeah?' said to her soft toy while she was lying on a cushion on the kitchen floor. (think she might fancy a nap today!)

Gosh she IS funny. Gave her a big kiss on her cheek just now and she said 'That's eating me'.. (it was just a kiss, honestly! )

BC there is nothing wrong with sending ds to play group for you to have a rest from him! Please don't feel guilty! I did the same and dd1 really enjoyed having a break from me and the baby and I was a calmer mother for only having one baby for a few hours.
Things will get much easier, I promise. Your two are both at an age where they both need a lot of attention. In years to come they will play together while you sit with a cup of tea watching your marvellous children

Dd2 on a roll today... I think spending this half term playing with her sister has increased her English vocabulary. I put her in her cot just now (hopeful...) and she called me back 'Mama, something else...' but then had nothing to say!!

bc welcome to the world of two children, you are not unusual or not coping, just this is the reality.

Small apology for raving about dd2's speaking... I find it completely fascinating how a child develops normally because dd1 got glue ear aged one, spoke gibberish for nearly two years, and has only just in the past six months caught up with how she should speak for someone who's about to turn 5. She's still behind in some ways (struggles to use past tense and mispronounces some words) but it is less noticeable.

bc big, big hugs. It is SO hard having two young'uns and you are doing brilliantly even if you don't feel like you are. Of course you are not being selfish and lazy. Your DS will love the nursery (will post on that thread in a minute) and his preschool when he goes there. And you really do need a break from having two, especially if DD is a velcro baby. DD2 was a really easy baby, I could put her down and leave her for ages and she would amuse herself, and I STILL found it (find it ) really really tough. For me it's the constant nappy change feed nappy change solid food nappy change story nappy change aaargh! Just no time to sit down, have a cup of tea and regroup. Let alone housework, what's that?! I cook dinner when both DDs are in bed and we eat at 9pm these days

I had a good week at mum's, apart from the bad nights, and am having a good week here so far so am touching wood that my mood is improving. I certainly look back on my sobbing to DH a couple of weeks ago that I wanted to give them up for adoption with . Of course moving home hasn't helped, and there is always work to do in the house in the evenings and at the weekends and DH leaves dangerous stuff lying about which doesn't help. But there is nothing really I can put my finger on which makes/made it so bad; when I try to explain to DH it just sounds like I'm whinging or like I'm a spoilt brat. So I really do understand when you say you feel like you're being selfish and lazy, I feel like I've been a hugely overreacting primadonna but I honestly have felt unable to cope some days.

There is a charity round here called Homestart which offers support to families, they said my situation is exactly the type they reach out to which surprised me as on paper I'm 'fine' (no real money worries so long as DH keeps his job, no SS concerns etc). But it's the fact that having 2 very young DCs is incredibly stressful and they want to offer help before it turns into depression or something else. They are sending round a volunteer 2 hours a week just to chat or to play with DCs while I do some housework etc. I'm really excited at the chance to do house work uninterruped (true). Can you see if there's anything like that in your area?

Sorry for the essay. My heart goes out to you bc because I have found having two so very tough (and also incredibly lovely of course). I know what you mean about giving emotional to DC1 and physical to DC2. Don't worry, it was exactly the same for me and once the DC2 starts to need the emotional they start demanding it too, when they get a bit bigger. Then it's trying to read stories to two at once....!

BG I love hearing about all DD2's little foibles! She sounds so cute! I wonder if we can all meet up some time <dreams> Maybe when I get my driving confidence (at some unspecified time in the future) I will drive to join one.

DD2 is at the ILs today and DD1 asleep hence megapost. One more potty wee from DD1 but I have not started PT yet. Now I'm blaming the cold weather I'll be washing two sets of nappies for a while yet I think.

Well, no nap forthcoming... . I lived in hope because somehow dh got her to sleep at lunchtime at the weekend!

dd2 is having an interesting conversation with her grandma (on a toy phone) . I'm selling our baby monitor but wonder whether I should keep it just to eavesdrop on her playing in her room!

Have to cook dinner but wanted to quickly say he was fine when I left him for his 2 hours alone today. Going back to get him for 3.30.

BC fx

dd2 just bumped into somthing and told me 'My tummy can't see!'

bear please don't feel guilty at sending your DS to nursery and don't feel bad about finding it difficult. It is bl00dy hard work having two young kids, particularly when your DD is quite clingy. I completely understand how frustrating it must feel that you can't really put her down and how you feel guilty at not being able to do things with DS. But it will get easier as time goes by, it really will.

In the meantime, scones idea is worth a try. Please do find out if you have such a thing near you and access it if you can. I wish someone had been able to come and help me, as I had many many days when I felt as you do now - functional with the newborn and just about coping with the toddler. I did what I suspect you are doing now - putting on an excellent party face while in public, but actually finding it tough in private. But do what you need to do to get through it, and don't feel bad about it.

scones hope the service you have accessed is as good as it sounds. I'm almost jealous!

BG I love hearing about your DD2's speech and idiosyncrasies! I too wish that one day we could all meet up...

IC have your nights got better?

PA have you recovered from your MIL's visit?

mous how are things with you?

Had a lovely day yesterday at the Harry Potter studio tour. I'd definitely recommend it if you are a saddo fan like me. DD1 loved it and I quietly bought a couple of things in the very expensive gift shop for her birthday and Christmas later this year.

Has anyone got any exciting plans for father's day?

Oh and today when DD said "ah-goo" or something similar DS said she was "speaking baby French"!!

Right - off to pick him up now.

yes all recovered, although next visit is only 4 weeks away and if for three days. they seemed even odder this time. Everything I said to DD was respoken by her and they wouldn't even let me get her ready, despite the fact that I am the one who knows where everything is and the sooner she is ready the sooner they had her all to herself.

They still do their thing or feeding her, apparently on their short 2.5 hour trip to the park they had a picnic (a way of MIL feeding her loads of ham and beef sandwiches). At one point when Dh was getting DS to sleep, I spent my time being ignored in the front room apart from demands to photo's on memory stick as quality online is to poor to print. Then yesterday we received a odd email.

DS was ill, almost better now so that provided enough distraction.

DS still isn't a content baby now which is what i find sometimes hard. I just have days where I wish i could put him down for more than a few minutes. However if are out or I have guests round then he is easily entertained.

oh, had the interview today, don't think it went very well

PA are they just odd or could they be having early dementia symptoms? Just reading your post has made me go and I am pretty sure I would NOT let them go anywhere with my child on their own. Least of all because if you are normally vegan/vegetarian and wolf down a hamburger you can end up feeling really quite ill!

PA fingers crossed about the interview, you never know...

PA I think you are a saint the way you put up with their oddness/rudeness. Agree with BG re the semi-forced meat eating. What did the email say?

DS was fine at nursery. Key worker said v. confident, no tears. Asked for me a few times but was told I had gone to the shops and was satisfied. When I turned up he shouted mummy and ran over for cuddles. Said it was fun and asked me what I had in my pockets (yes, haribo).

Have made vegan chili for dinner (recipe from IC's pinterest I think) acozykitchen.com/spicy-vegan-chili/.

You've been busy!!

Well DS is full on PT as I told nursery yesterday to put him on the potty every 2.3 hours - resulting in 3 wees in the potty yesterday and 4 today!! I'm well pleased it's working.

PA at your ILs. What was thew email? (soory too curious). Maybe the interview went better that you think?

bc can't comment on the 2 children situation but <hugs>. I'll have a look at your nursery thread.

IC how is you DD's cold? Have you manage to get some sleep?

BG I'm soo impressed by your DD2 speech and extend vocabulary. DS is no where near having a conversation in French or English.

you see, they manage to wind me up but I always think I am reacting over nothing. glad you think otherwise. I have to say they seemed to up the ignoring ante and the repeating what I said and taking over left me cold. No dementia, they are mid 50's I believe, not a reason by itself, but they are clearly fine. The email was

Hi DH and PA

Just to say we had a lovely time yesterday and it was fabulous to spend some time with the children who are delightful.

Is DS any better, it was heartbreaking to see him looking so poorly, I hope he is on the mend.

Look forward to spending a few days in early July with you. We have booked the Travel Lodge now, and will Skype again Sunday.

Hugs and Kisses for DS and DD
Love Mum

not even sure why it seemed odd. I think the implication they don't normally have a good time (DD has been ill a few times or the weather was wet so they didn't take her out) or that they couldn't tell us in person or just tell us we are doing a good job?

On the plus side they showed concern for DS (although some of that was guilt -they took him in the stroller for his nap while DD slept, decided he was hot so undid his coat and he came back shivering and cold for ages)

potty training is going well here, no accidents again yesterday. Two little ones today, one being too excited to sit down in time and other she was generally being contrary while out playing and denied she needed it). I can't believeSB that your DS goes every 2-3 hours, DD is a little and often kinda girl. At home I have her in a dress (leggings on to go outside),the knickers often come off but she generally goes and sits on the potty as required and then attempts to carry on playing (i then remind her to wipe etc). This is obviously great for when I have hands full with DS.

Did anyone else notice increased soreness on potty training? I'm getting her to use wet wipes now, guessing it is to do with wee getting about more.

bc glad DS had a good time, surely that counts for a lot? we had falafel and baba ganoush again today, hopefully load the recipe up this weekend.

IC i hope you have had the required energy to deal with DD this week
<end long post>

BBB how are things with DH currently?

bg not long until you start work now?

Hello to scones do keep posting, especially if they are just moaning

beth DD still mentions DS2 by name a lot

<end long post with waves to everyone else>

wonders about random extra <end long post> up there

PA well they don't exactly beat about the bush when it comes to telling you they only come to see the children and couldn't care less about you and dh. What unpleasant people.

Re work I am currently in denial and wish I had not applied or withdrawn my application (I very nearly did). It all seems so complicated!

oh bg you do make me feel better

it will be fine

<continues sticking fingers in ears about my own job situation>

Dh has sent me to bed with orders to MN and watch telly

what didn't help this morning was forgetting to try on my outfit at the weekend, so today I discovered my only pair of smart trousers (that i wore when I visited that company) were far too big, requiring some severe belting and a longer than planned top.

I was a bit when my new boss suggested that I am supposed to work 50% hours randomly spread over the week whenever I am needed I had asked to work Mon to Wed and already have to pay 3 days child care (for two children in school holidays) but only get paid 2 1/2 days... So this is impossible. Don't think she has children... I've confirmed nursery days now and will see how it goes

even without the childcare, your commute is enough to make that enough of a hassle

PA exactly. And if they had told me in the interview that although the job is 50% but I'd have to be available 100% I would have politely declined the job offer.
I'm probably over thinking this but clear communication is moot their strong point. I have compulsory training next week but have no idea where when how long...

'not' not 'moot' phone!

BG if it's too much of a hassle, tell them you have reconsider the job and can't make it if they change the rules

PA for sure they don't seem to act as if they care/worry about you and your DH

bc good news about the settle session going well. DS enjoys playing with full tins (out of the cpboard in the kitchen while trying to open the crackers box or bisto jar )

DS 2nd night in his new room and fx he has settled well. I can decide if I need to add blackout curtains to his already blacked lined curtains as the room seems clearer than his previous one. I'll see if I can find some 2nd hand one as I don't want to spend yet more money.

BG did you post in employment issues? It sounds weirdly familiar (if not somebody else on MN seems to be having the same problem as you!)

SB IME it is too late for blackout blinds. Both DDs are now scared if they wake up in total darkness and won't go back to sleep on their own, a bit of light and they can self settle. (DD2 has been needing some kind of light for a few months now)

PA I don't see anything wrong with that email.
I hope the job goes well? How many interviews are you suppose to get with them?

<waves to all>
did we lose bee and fan?

Mous pooh, I'll have a look in employment. Wasn't me posting there.

Argh, oooh not pooh!!! Flippin' phone

mous there is nothing rude or overtly wrong, I just thought it was a odd tone. No thanks, no addressing DH and nothing like this said in person, so it is not like niceities missed here were said in RL. Anyway I know I am sensitive and the letter itself didn't upset me, just came across as odd.

hope everyone has a nice day, would comment to you but DCs are wreaking the place.

I agree, there was nothing about how nice it was to see you/DH, no 'thank you for having us' and I feel there was an implication that DS's illness was somehow your fault (although I am queen of reading things into things so could well not be the case).

see I disagree! but may be it is my foreign genes and I am not reading into english subtlety.

Hi DH and PA

Just to say we had a lovely time yesterday <i.e. thanks> and it was fabulous to spend some time with the children <we miss them> who are delightful <you are raising them well>.

Is DS any better, it was heartbreaking to see him looking so poorly, I hope he is on the mend. <concern for their GC, that is all, and asking for progress report as would any GP do>

Look forward to spending a few days in early July with you <all of you as a family>. We have booked the Travel Lodge now, and will Skype again Sunday.

Hugs and Kisses for DS and DD <say hello to the DC for me>

Love Mum

even more

Dd2 came back from a settling in session at nursery saying 'Mama, I am soo sweet! Hope it doesn't go to her head to be adored by the nursery staff...

that's because you foreigners are direct and don't deal in passive agressive shit . I prefer the blunt approach myself.

The skype call is the DD show, if DS moves in front of her they complain and they don't let DH talk unless it's answering questions about DD and then it is not always guaranteed. Anyway i should stop talking about it now. I remain polite and they still get what they want so it doesn't matter anyway.

PA well, I am foreign but read it in the light of what you have reported about them before (eg totally ignoring you), so I think it is pretty rude. And what's that bizarre thing of repeating everything you say to your dd? Are they parrots? And they refuse to speak to their own son?

Mous Found the thread in employment you were referring to and now feel very nervous. Appears that employers can do that to you, to ask for random days/hours as long as they give you enough notice. Find it a bit shocking because it discriminates against people with children, especially those who have no family like us. What do they expect me to do? Take a two year old to work with me? Wonder why I bother... (Rant over, sorry)

Isn't there a short cooling off period with new employment, BG? So if it does turn out to be impossible for you to manage you could back out again?
<possibly talking out of arse...>
Your DD2 is hilarious!!

PA I think your ILs are very poor communicators. It's possible they meant their email to read as Mous interpreted it, but it could be taken in any number of ways. I'm not surprised it gets your goat when they're shoving meat sandwiches in your DD's face - personally I'm fairly laid back about whether my DD wants to try meat or fish when she's out and about, but I think it shows a fundamental lack of respect for you when your own ILs ignore your dietary preferences.
FX about the job - it may have gone better than you thought.
And babaganoush - mmm!!

Thanks for the concern for our nights BBB and others! Thankfully, DD's cold didn't get too bad and after three days later is all but gone again (whether it's the honey and cinnamon anti-viral combo or the strength of her her own immune system, who can say?). DD slept through last night, although woke with the screaming abdabs the night before, for some reason. Took a while to calm her down.
The poo-phobia has been much better lately, thankfully.

SB we haven't bothered with blackout curtains this year and DD's sleep patterns are unaffected. But if you want to give them a go, charity shops are often a great source of cheap curtainage.

Scones that Homestart thing sounds great!
<makes mental note>
I'm glad you're starting to feel a bit better, even if it's fits and starts. Have you thought of giving EFT tapping a try? It often works even if people think it's BS and as all the info about how you do it is available for free online, you don't have to shell out any money to have a go with it. I'm finding it very helpful in all sorts of ways. Plus it's very quick and easy!

Bc I think you're outlining the classic conundrum of the second-time mum.
<quails slightly at what's in store> So try not to give yourself a hard time. DD was a velcro baby, so I can sympathise with the problems of having a moment to yourself and any time with DS alone.
<hug>

Not much else to report here. I'm having fun making various recipes I've found on Pinterest (to great acclaim from DH and DD too!) - yesterday I did vegan strawberry "mousse" and instant banana "ice-cream" for pudding - very popular!!

Jesus Fosbury is kicking away, all fine at last MW appointment, eek I'm virtually in the last quarter now. Where did the time go?
Slight bummer with the move - mortgage won't now be available until Aug 1st when we were hoping to complete on June 29th. It doesn't jeopardise the purchase, but we'd love to be in well before August so we can get settled ahead of time. Ah well. We might be able to work something out.

DD walked to and from playgroup today (nearly mile each way) without wanting to get into buggy. Also did 2 hours in the park this afternoon and 30 mins playing with the neighbours children. it is fair to say she went to bed quite tired.

maybe they will let you pay rent and you promise to do no renovations before completion IC. When is your due date? We should stop this moving around when pg marlarky I would say lesson learned for next time but I really doubt a next time.

Despite trying to ignore it i am now worrying about the next visit. two of the days will be while dh is at work. I'm just not comfortable with the expectation that they arrive and then get exclusive access to DCs but then also not sure why and what's the alternative? We only tried once going out them and us when DD was younger, we learned to not try again. They want to take her possibly him out for each half day session, they will also want to insist me and DH go out for a meal. Nice enough in theory but (i) me and DH don't want to but mainly (ii) DS is still quite hard to get to sleep. I get that they'll keep DD up but understand it's just one night and she's old enough now. Generally I am unfussed regarding the meat thing, they however see it as their personal mission to fill her up on meat at every visit. The picnic wasn't even mentioned until after the fact (I would have said yes anyway).

oh IC when is your due date again?

PA Your children, your rules! You don't HAVE to give them access to your children at all.
Surprised you are not that fussed about the meat thing. I would be livid if my mum went behind my back like that. That's quite different to my dds trying meat at a birthday party for example (dd1 had a nibble at a sausage once and thought it was inedible, but then ate a piece of ham sandwich... she survived).

i mean like you, if she is at parties/dinner out etc then fine but then how can you tell them the purposefully giving them meat is not appreciated when you allow it at odd times. I want to say something but not sure how to give a suitable reason. if they try the picnic again then i'll just say to stick to fruit as othewise she won't eat dinner.

my thoughts with not giving them DD(/DS) is then what happens? I get ignored in my own house again

PA Just as well I have no in-laws.... I would tell them where to go if they ignored me!

Jesus Fosbury's advent is Aug 26th PA.
I like the "fruit only" plan - that's a tactful way of not turning it into an issue (and if they ignore that, they really are out of order...)

IC That is so soon! How did that happen? keeping my fx there are no more glitches in moving house...

IC fx you'll find a housing solution soon.

PA I'll too be well annoyed if my DM or ILs were to feed DS stuff he's not allowed (mainly sweets in his case)

bc did you had a good birthday?

My mum is over this week so DS is off nursery. I'm going to buy blackout curtains as DS takes time (1 hour) to fall asleep now comparing to 15mn in his former darker room.

Time to go to work. Have a good day

<DS takes time (1 hour) to fall asleep now comparing to 15mn in his former darker room> that is completely normal SB and it will last until they drop the nap completely. DD1 talked/sang to herself for at least 2 hours in bed before falling asleep until 2.8. DD2 is "chatting' for 1/2h (1h max but she goes to bed later).
IME (friends as well, because just DD1 is too small a sample ), they fall asleep in 5 sec. once they drop the nap. Sometime before you have time to put them to bed

PA I am borderline on the spectrum I have no understanding of subtlety and take what is said or written at face value until someone teaches me the underlying text and then I am .

iC hope you sort your house soon.

DD goes to sleep much more quickly since I started giving her a head massage at bedtime... and she still has a one-hourish nap at lunchtime. Worth a try?!

do you have shares in head massaging IC

is DH hoping that you will be late enough to get a September birthday? Guess he will be starting his job in the really early days.

we will have to meet up again before he arrives

DH wants JF to arrive early so he can spend a bit of time with him before his job starts on Sept 1st...!

Would be lovely to meet up - depending on move plans etc, we might be able to manage something very early in July......

There are loads of calming acupressure points on the head, I've discovered - must be why even my completely untutored technique seems to have an effect!!! Friends can have a freebie..... x

DD just ate some petit pois!! And a cheesy quinoa "burger" (which included spring onions and courgette in its ingredients). Supper triumph!!
<fans self>

IC yepee

DS went down without messing about and was quiet within 10mn! But I did put blackout curtains up tonight so fx it has sorted it...

petit pois peas (I refuse to eat others ) are the only guaranteed veg for DD.

I took her to feed the ducks this afternoon and she made me laugh and smile so much

IC I assume DH is not entitled to paternity then. I think DH was allowed unpaid leave but he took holiday (although obviously your DH can't use that option himself). Do you extra support coming for you?

I had a meeting until nearly 9pm (not new job, other stuff I do voluntarily)but came back to the lovely sound of a washing machine!! Spare part costing 7 pounds seems to have done the trick fx <shoos off MN jinx> Nearly three weeks washing to catch up on so first load is in the dryer, second load in the washing machine and third load ready to go in first thing in the morning...

oh BG the lives we lead

night all

great news BG

PA

Yay for the fixed washing machine, BG!!

PA that's right, DH is not entitled to paternity leave because he will only just have started the job. Our Spanish au pair leaves at the beginning of Sept, but by then PILs will be back and I'm sure FIL in particular will be able to help. Also my mum will roll up around then too and she's a helpful soul, so should be okay

I had a asthma attack at playgroup today, thankfully two DCs are now in bed and am going round to my neighbours this afternoon.

PA Maybe worth having your meds reassessed?

don't think so. I had one last week but they were the first ones I had in ages. Plus they have been triggered by the weather.

feeling better now, finally caught my almost full breath back.

DD had an accident at toys, just didn't want to leave what she was doing. plus at playgroups the toilet is a lot further away than the potty (or even the toilet) we use at home.

Going away for the weekend and was surprised that the only baby related stuff I packed were a handful of nappies... Our baby days are over

yep no baby anymore! not sure wether to be or ...

PA hope you are better

Just been out for a meal and dd2 behaved like a little lady. Feel a bit guilty that we rarely go out anyone with two dc

'anymore' I hate this phone. Girls are in bunk beds and both are really excited so it could be a while to get them to sleep...

Hi all. Working every night at the mo (and watching the footie tonight). Another 2-3 weeks of work and then more time to myself until September. Just wanted to say hi and I'm still alive. Glad DD still talks about DS2 PA! My two were talking about 'the girls' yesterday too. Sorry to hear about the inlaws and asthma - both problems I can relate to.
Will reply to the rest of you at a more sociable hour, although we're going to the Forest of Dean tomorrow, so probably not until next week. Sorry to be rubbish!

DD is currently doing an assault course round the front room which consists of

jump off chair, under highchair and come out at the 90 degree exit, jump over horse, run a full circle around the potty, arms up and touch toes and run to the patio door to retrieve fox.

Dd2 admired all the wonderful things on offer for breakfast in the hotel and then chose exactly what she would have at home

survival sorry to hear your nights are so busy but hope you get some good down time

scones i meant to say that actually I find reusable wipes easier and it has been great. Just sorry I didn't do it before and dreading the hemming session that will be required with my sewing machine, but I doubt I will do that until at least next weekend and having watched a few youtube videos

Also, DD not being in many nappies has made a massive difference. before stuffing nappies felt like a big chore, although not reduced quite in half, the number is much more manageable and can be done as and when. Also as we have a lot more nappies to use there isn't the time imperative.

BG I am sorry they're now moving the goalposts over the job. Have you made a decision over whether to tell them to stuff it if those are their actual conditions? Hurrah for functioning washing machine. I think I need to start using Calgon, live in hard water area and have had this machine for three years and I've noticed the drawer is clogging up a bit and not all the softener goes down.

Hope your weekend away is going well.

Scones Homestart sound great - I know what you mean about looking forward to doing housework uninterrupted. I think with my mum's help and the two sessions of nursery it would be taking the piss a bit to ask for help from them on top, but if I didn't have the other support I definitely would.

PA You can never tell how you've come across and I'm sure they didn't notice the clothing issue. Good luck, I'm positive you did well. Sorry about the asthma attack - how scary - hope you are ok now.

I can understand why you are worrying already about the next visit. They certainly aren't soothing company. It would totally get my back up to be ignored in my own home.

We are at a sort of stalemate with my PILs - FIL refuses to come to London and DH can't spare the time to go up to Norfolk (nor can I face taking toddler/baby combo to a house that is not geared up for them) so we get occassional visits from MIL which is fine, she's lovely although a little sugary-sweet about everything but if my only complaint is that she over-praises everything it's not really a complaint is it?

SB For my DS blackout blinds work. We put them up when the mornings were getting light super early and he was waking unusally early and he stopped and went back to his normal time. Then he started waking early again so I put parcel tape around the edges and he went back to sleeping 11 to 12 hours so I am certain it was the light waking him.

Yes I had a lovely birthday thanks although 39 feels awfully old! Mum had DS and we went up to town with DD in sling and had Japanese lunch which she slept through (we had glass of champagne each) and did a bit of shopping. She woke only to feed and get her nappy changed in the big baby changing + feeding room in House of Fraser in Oxford St then went straight back to sleep until we got home.

IC Hope you get the housing issue sorted. PA's idea is good unless of course the vendors need the money to move into their new place. Thanks for hugs and good pins to read. x

Survival Hi <waves> good to hear from you. Hope you have fun in the Forest of Dean.

I didn't have a very good night's sleep last night, so I've been a bit less patient with DS. He is really into whinging at the moment. Repeating himself eg "I want something to eat" ad nauseum or even just making a whinging noise and doing grabby hands at the cupboard. I show him what's in there and he says no to everything. Grr. Then I hate myself for being grumpy.

Also the potty thing is annoying me. He was doing so well so I know he can do it and now it's almost like he's pleased with himself to make me wipe his pooey arse. I KNOW this isn't the case, but it's hard not to feel it a bit. He comments on how sticky and smelly it is and I'm cheerfully agreeing with him and they saying "all nice and clean now" when inside I am seething. He agrees that it's best to poo in the potty when we talk about it and before baby he would mostly tell us when he wanted a poo and would happily go on the potty (I would say two times out of every three). Maybe soon we just stay inside for three or four days with bare bum and potties everywhere. I got him to have a wee in the potty just now, then tried to get him to put 'big boy pants' on that I'd bought him but he wouldn't, he just took them off.

It feels like he has a policy of saying 'no' to every question or suggestion. As soon as you tell him not to do something he does it or does it more. I hate feeling like this about him and I know a lot of it is to do with the age and undoubtedly to do with his sister, although he is always nice to her, thank God.

Anyway enough of my whinging. He's enjoying nursery still - lady said he asked for me a few times during the last half hour on Thursday but still no tears.

Do your 2-year-olds play on their own at home much - do they ever pick up a book and flick through it themselves. He seems to need me or DH playing with him a lot of the time (unless I turn the hoover on and give it to him, then he'd happily play hoovering for hours). I think maybe I need to cultivate self-directed play a bit more. It will all be easier once DH has moved his office to my mum's and we have our playroom. NOT LONG NOW.

I can get DD to play by herself but with a lot of input from me sitting down, but not completely by herself. even with the obstacle course today i had to remind each time the order and what to do. tbh i don't actively get down and play with her a lot atm which I feel bad about, but we do a lot of active things especially in afternoons on walks, so throwing, tickling, running and chasing.

can you try to phrase things such that they are not questions that can be answered with no? If I have phrased a question that can produce a no answer then I allow her to actually say no. Sometimes I forget when i am asking but nonetheless follow through the request. If it is an action then of course I say no, she has a warning to not to do it otherwise X will happen (normally cessation of activity although sometimes just a rest from the activity). Getting into the car she often runs around out the front instead of walking to her seat, I give her a few reminders to head towards the car then when I am strapping DS in she is given the option of coming over or me carrying her. I also use this sometimes in the form of 'I will count to 5 and if you still haven't done X request then I will'. Obviously after a request of two before e.g. put on your shoes or I will do it. the phrase 'it is time for' is used a lot here and I have built up standard routines/scripts for set tasks such as leaving the house, getting in, post dinner routine. This has meant the potty for these activities has blended in well as i repeat beforehand 'right when we get in, we take off our shoes, coat, do a 'hello home potty' etc. She does need reminding of them a lot but she is quite accepting when i remind her that this is what we do. i reinforce that with narrating what i am doing 'mummy, it is time to take off your shoes'

She has started shouting especially when tired so I ask her to 'ask properly' or if it is because she frustrated (if tired she tries to ram her shoe on and then shouts out) I say 'deep breaths' to which she closes her eyes and take and a deep breathe which calms her down enough to often complete the task she is trying to do.

that was a bit longer than I thought, but i know myself that when I catch myself saying no a lot, then a change in my thinking/procedure is required. hopefully something will be of use/reassurance.

time to go shopping, aka my alone time

Good to hear from you Survival! Not too long now before you get a rest x

Bc yes, we're investigating doing something along those lines - our vendors don't need the money to buy another house and they are lovely and helpful, so very willing to find a solution if poss. We've enlisted their solicitor to come up with a suggestion and he seems like an affable type too, so hopefully something will be worked out so we can move in sooner rather than later.

DD is pretty good at playing on her own, depending on her mood. If I'm trying to sort out some food, I may get some hassle and whingeing for a bit, but she usually gives up fairly quickly and finds something to amuse herself.

Glad you're enjoying the pins!!

We follow very similar disciplinary tactics to PA - counting to 5 (backwards in my case!), lots of descriptive praise when DD does what we want (or takes small steps towards doing what we want) and lots of "think-throughs" - preparations ahead of time about what we expect from her in certain situations with a short series of questions for her to answer (these last two are straight from Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting although we were already using elements of them, although not as effectively). We still have tantrums of course, but DH and I feel like we're getting a better handle on behaviour issues and I've definitely noticed improvements. I'm hoping we can get a lot of these techniques as second nature both for us and DD by the time Jesus Fosbury makes his appearance.

I also find washable wipes easier to use than disposable ones - they seem to be more efficient, somehow.
I picked up a load of second-hand Flip washable nappies today at a nearly new sale - our Pop-Ins are starting to leak too often and I've heard a lot of good reports about Flips. The elastication is pretty weak in the legs because of previous usage, but so far we haven't had any leaks. I'm hoping they'll be as good as everyone says they are!!

BG sounds like your two are enjoying the hotel stay!!

Thank you for mentioning that, PA - I have been saying "shall we do X?" instead of "It's time to do X" too much I think, so giving him the opportunity to say 'no'.

I do tell him what we're going to do, and tell him 5 mins and again 1 min before we leave eg the playground. He still seems quite stressed and to find it difficult when we stop one activity to do something else. (I will take a look at that book, IC).

I managed to get him to play alone with play doh while I cooked dinner this evening by dint of not complaining when he mixed up the colours and just letting him get on with it. I know it doesn't matter and that the colours will get mixed up anyway, I can be very laid back about all sorts of things but toys with missing pieces or mess or mixed up colours of play doh make me feel all twitchy. I need to realised this is my problem and not lay it on poor DS.

He has done 2 wees in the potty today (with 'time to go on the potty' prompting).

We had a nice storytime with lots of cuddles and he trotted into his room afterwards and went to bed with no complaints.

i recently got the 'adventures in gentle discipline' book from the LLL library and have found it really useful. The main extra things i picked up were we're not all perfect and to debrief once everyone is calm again.

I am quite bad with messy play actually, I blame it on DS and not having the time to deal with it, but I suspect I would be that way anyway. I tend to only offer one colour of playdough and as for her putting the blue paintbrush in the red pot well...

our current issues are wanting to throw water everywhere, the concept of 'drinking water' and 'playing water' are i appreciate difficult distincions but need to be made I feel.

I think I am going to rejog our routine and give the DCs dinner around 4/4:30 with a fruit or other dessert at 6/6:30 when me and DH will have dinner. not sure yet when i will cook it but hopefully will make for smoother evenings. DS is being very clingy so not able to cook until DH gets in but by the time I have done (with them being grumpy throughout) they are too tired (certainly DS) to deal with being able to have dinner. What are all your evening dinner routines?

PA dd1 used to have dinner with me and dh about 6ish but that all went to pot when dd2 arrived. At the moment the girls have dinner around 5.30 and dh and I eat around 7.30 to 8pm. Ideally I would prefer us to have a family meal in the evening but it still gets quite stressful for everyone right now so I will give it a few more months.
As for independent play, I think I have been lucky that mine like to potter and explore when they are with me... Dh is much more hands on playing with them and they tend to expect more entertainment from him.

We had out first bunk bed related injury last night... The girls were fine but I scraped my back on the top bunk when saying goodnight to dd2. She had a terrible night and I think got a bit claustrophobic having a top bunk above her. We've got a cot for tonight and she seems happier being a baby just for tonight.

Ha, yes - we have the water for play/water for drinking conundrum too, PA!

We have a family meal at around 17.45ish, which works fine because DH is usually home around 5-ish, so he plays with DD and keeps her out of my way while I sort out the supper (which I'm happy to do as a bit of me-time!!).
DD usually goes up for bath and bedtime at around 18.45, with lights off at 19.30ish. It'll be interesting to see how we adapt the routine when Jesus Fosbury arrives.....

Ouch at scraping your back BG - hope it's not too sore.

Yep, well worth checking out that book Bc - I think of all my parenting books, it's the one I've found most helpful and effective so far - it only has five main techniques (all non-punitive) and gives loads of detail on how to use them, including typical flashpoint situations.

how was last night bg

DH gets in at 5:30, if he was home at 5 that would make a massive difference.

we have a most upset DS which after 30min stretches last night Summoning up the energy to take DD out.

DS has dinner at 5.45pm and DH is either at home or leave home at 5.40pm for work or come home at 6.30pm. Then bedtime between 6pm and 6.30 pm.

He can play by himself for a few minutes while but I have to check from time to time on him to make sure he plays and he's not inventing a new way to kill himself up to no good.

PT is going well. Today we went out for the day with no opportunity to take the potty with us (and DS won't use the loo) so he was quite freaked out by peeing in his nappy but when back home did a wee in the potty once home. I just wonder if it's worth spending £20+ in a carry potty ?

dd2 slept 14 hours last night and then when I woke her at 8 this morning she staggered around the place for a few minutes asking where the bunk beds were. I think she found the weekend quite exhausting!

14 hours

BG

bg

pa I give the DDs their dinner at 5.30ish, then do the wind down routine that sees them in bed at around 7pm. DH doesn't get home until after 7pm most weeknights so he and I eat after the girls are in bed. The only exception to this is once a week when he collects DD1 from Rainbows at 6pm and we all eat together that night. If he's out on the evening, I'll often eat with the girls.

DD2 appears to be giving up her trainer seat for the toilet so my days of carrying it round when we go out may be drawing to a close. If so, it's been short and sweet

Well, it is unlike her!!! And she asked me at 12.30 whether she could please go to bed, so she's having a nap now as well...
She did have a busy weekend though and walked so much that her feet and legs are still hurting.

Meant to say about playing on their own. DD2 often wanders off on her own to play or look at books, and I've often thought that she's had to learn to do that because she doesn't often get me on my own. DD1 had my undivided attention for three years so took longer to develop this skill, though my severe spd when pregnant meant she learned out of necessity

I often involve them in whatever I am doing, for example by pulling up a chair to the kitchen worktop so they can help me cook or by getting them to hand me clothes when I am hanging out laundry. They don't seem to mind, in fact they really like it, so it suits us all

can you take DD away with you next time?

I am absolutley exhausted atm and my excuses for getting to sleep late have run out so am admitting I have some insomnia going on. I think it has been two weeks since I was asleep before 12, but most nights is 1.

that combined with the fact that it looks like our plans are changing and I will be at home for a few more years (and associated uncertainity of what I want to go and therefore lack of long term plan) is bringing me down a little bit.

Someone did offer to have the children for a few hours but I just thought 'what's the point?'. I won't be able to sleep and I don't want to do jobs, however that line of thinking means I probably need the time more than ever.

interwoven is the fact that DH has been asked to apply for a job in london which we agree he is going to do. The salary seems unusually low considering the location though (salary is what you'd expect if it wasn't in London, so once combined with extra costs is isn't a step up but 2-3 years there would look great on his CV)

PA fx for the new plans

BG is your DD2 okay? If DS sleeps as much I'll think that he's ill.

We're on a loosing weight adventure at the moment as DH needs to loose around a stone. So I'm reducing the portion size and try to cut the carbs (quite hard as I need carbs as my blood sugar will crash without any).

BBB great news on the toilet use

I thought I had killed the thread then

we actually had a good day today once we got to 10am. Not only no accidents that included solids and wee's but at playgroup and the park (which was at least an hours) she came up to me and asked to go.

I am sure I am supposed to be doing something tomorrow but I can't remember what.

Sounds like you're making great progress, PA!
Sorry to hear about the insomnia - I've SO been there. Really frustrating. EFT can be good for sorting sleep issues out, if you fancy giving it a try.

SB I've found by far the best way to lose weight (without feeling hungry or having blood sugar crashes) is to do the GI/GL diet - when you cut out foods which send your blood sugar too high too quickly and keep your fat intake to a lowish level. That way, you still have the healthy carbs that your body needs, but you can lose weight.
There are some good books and resources online to help out and loads of tasty recipes of things you can have so you don't feel too hard done by while trying to shed the kilos....
I found when I did the GI diet strictly, I went down two dress sizes in six weeks and had loads more energy, better moods (leaping and crashing blood sugar levels have a lot to do with moodiness!), needed less sleep and generally felt the best I ever had in my life. AND I kept the weight off once I relaxed the diet. AND I never felt hungry (because the diet involved three meals a day and three snacks between times). It's also the only diet my BIL (who's a GP) advises for patients with weight issues because it's sensible and well-balanced.
Good luck!!

DS only woke 3 times last night, I got off just after 12 and got a 4 hour stretch, I feel great even if it is for one night only

'Mama what's wrap around care?' Timely reminder for me to be very cautious about listening to the news on the radio because dd2 does listen!! This news item was pretty harmless but most aren't..

DS has started sucking/soaking his top. Sleeves/hem Huge patches. WHY??? Am trying to descriptively praise him, IC when he doesn't do it. "you're not sucking your top - keeping yourself smart/neat/dry"

Boo at the insomnia pa but glad you're feeling ok today.

bc my dd1 is still terrible for putting things in her mouth. She sucks her thumb, bites her nails and it really bothers me. She has sucked or chewed her clothes in the past and I've found it very effective to tell her that of she does it, she won't be able to choose her clothes the next day as I need to be sure that she isn't going to be wearing clothes with loose bits that may hurt her (not strictly true, but you get my drift). She hates this and it has pretty much stopped.

sb dh and I are trying to lose weight at the moment but I find it too hard to regulate food and we eat pretty healthily anyway (just too much ) so we are doing the 30 day shred. It's tough but we're sticking with it

Oh my poor baby... Dd2 came in from the garden crying 'I don't know about games...' I think she benefits enormously by having a big sister and it's nice of dd1 to include her in her games but being two she doesn't always understand the rules! Poor little thing has to grow up much faster to keep up

BBB our problem is portion size too. I got a low GI book and will get some inspiration from it

DS also sucks his sleeves on tshirt collar from time to time

PA great news about the long sleep stretch but boo about the insomnia.

IC saw your blog- you look fantastic!!

Aw - thanks BG!!!

Bc - yep, that's the way - Noel (author of CHEP) says at first it may remind them of the habit, but if you persevere it's a good way of stopping it.
"DS, I notice you're not sucking your clothes - that's very self-controlled, I like to see that!" (or some such...)
DD picks (nose/scabs etc.) much less since we started using the DP to break the habit.
But it won't happen overnight, might take a couple of weeks ago with a very stubborn habit.....
Good luck!

that's interesting, DD is a nose/skin picker. She had a lot of the skin around her toes peel off which has been keeping her occupied

Nursery has asked when I'll take Ds off the pullups and put him in pants! I answeredin a few weeks time as Even if he does most/all the wees in the potty he still poo in the nappies so I'm not sure he's ready for the switch!?

It's up to you SB of course, but everyone I talk to about PT says if you're going to go for it, it's better to fully go for it - straight into pants (scary thought!!)
More experienced mums may have more to say about this, however!!

is he regular with his poo's? DD had one poo accident in knickers and the next time did a little potty dance, asked for a nappy but as we knew she was due one she stripped her down and just watched her, then put on her as soon as she was doing it. Once we had done this twice or maybe three times she was over the poo on potty/toilet phobia. The fact she goes at roughly the same time each day helps us to relax once it over. We haven't had a poo accident for a couple of weeks I think except for the fact she doesn't stay seated until wiping therefore getting it all over dress and herself when she sits down

I have so far skipped pull-ups, although considering them for night time as she does tell us when she wants a wee going to sleep and first thing in the morning (but before official get up time) so it might be handy. Does he say if he wants a wee yet? I dunno but what's the worst that could happen, go back to pull ups after a week?

IC we kinda didn't go straight to knickers, we went into dress and no knickers as she wouldn't keep them on. Something to be said for the naked approach I feel. When we head out then she has to wear knickers and atm a pair of leggings. That way if she does have an accident in her buggy, car seat or playgroup then that fabric will absorb most of it. I am currently loving the fact she is a girl for that logistical reason.

He is not very regular unfortunately, at the moment he does them during the night but last week it was late morning. He doesn't say that he needs a wee but when he sits on the potty he wees.
The naked approach is a bit of a problem as DS will be contemplating his willy at all time (I guess to make sure it still there ) and tell me that he and daddy have one but not me!

that was more some musings for the people who haven't started yet.

I still think give it a go, especially since the nursery seem up for it. at least they'll be the ones clearing it up

I think I'll give a few weeks more, just to get him comfortable in the use of the potty

All this talk of toileting reminded me that I wanted to share my adventure pop story with you all. While out today, dd2 declared she needed a wee. No toilets so I whipped out the toilet seat under a handy tree and plonked her on. A few seconds later she tells me she needs a poo. I lift her up to put a wipe underneath to catch it, but it's already out. So I made like a dog walker, scooped the poop and put it in a nappy bag which I then threw away. Lovely. But at least she isn't worried about doing it in unusual places

The second thing she has started doing is calling for me during the night: "mummy,I need the toilet." so far I have shown remarkable restraint in not shouting back: "no you don't, you're wearing a nappy," and instead dutifully go and take her to the toilet. Her nappies have been dry in the morning since she decided she didn't want to wear nappies during the day anymore, but I'm not ready to drop them at night yet. Note to all first time toilet trainers, when they wet the bed at night, it also goes on the duvet and sometimes the pillow. Just so you know

do you use a mattress protector or towel or anything? I considered putting a potty in her room but then thought she might try to experiment with it's contents.

thankfully DD doesn't really have a pillow and she has a fleece blanket, of which we have a few.

Yes, waterproof sheet is in place. I remember with dd1 thinking I had wholly underestimated the work involved if she wet the bed. I think this occurred to me at 3am one night when realising I had to change herald all the bedclothes and find another duvet and pillow for the bed

Her and, not herald

I did wonder who herald was

DS has a waterproof mattress cover since he took his nappy off one morning and weed in the bed. I also bought a spare duvet and pillow as a result

I think the naked approach initially is a good one, PA.
I guess the advice I've had is not about knickers/pants/bare bum but about using nappy halfway houses. Mind you, the general advice seems to be nappies for naps (unless you're feeling confident!) and overnight to start with as it takes longer for them to be dry overnight.
Very impressed with you all for going for it!!

I went with knickers under skirts or dresses to start with, figuring that they were easier than trousers.

Need to put something out there, and think this is the best place to do it as it's not the kind of thing I can talk about easily. DH and I have just finished a pretty full-on conversation about the state of our relationship. It's still pretty poor, and he seemed genuinely ashamed when I pointed out the lack of respect and courtesy he gives to me, the DDs and his family (but particularly me), and how his selfishness, thoughtlessness, procrastination and lack of regard were damaging us all. He has said that he is going to turn things round, but we have agreed that if we have one of these conversations again, he needs to move out

oh bbb you must be in desparate need of some hugs right now {{{}}}

i'm not very good with relationship advice especially regarding a plan of action to stop it happening again (there is always the relationship section)

BBB big hugs and sent your way.

BBB that's a really tough position to be in, so sorry to hear things have reached such a nadir.
<hug>
Have you given Relate a go?
Please feel free to spill on here when you need to - I realise it's a difficult situation to discuss with people in RL.

Weirdly, I just got to a chapter in my book on EFT (I know, I know - I've become really fascinated with it!!) which gave suggestions on how it can help with relationship difficulties.
Sounds like your DH needs to buck his ideas up properly and stop relying on the fact that you're so (outwardly!!) capable of doing what needs to be done that he doesn't.
Lots of luck x

BBB <hugs>

More hugs from my direction BBB. Let's hope he follows through.

I've had a trial with DS2 today who is poorly and feeling aggressive because of it. he has tried o bite me three times in anger and DS1 has been on the receiving end twice. I feel ridiculous as I deal with children with tricky behaviour all the time, but he is just not responding well at the moment to anything we try. In the end, in desperation, I meanly told him that mummy days were for all of us to enjoy and that if he didn't stop I'd take him back to nursery where he is always a good boy!! (in less words, obviously..) Bizarrely, he hasn't done it since! Time out doesn't have any effect, shouting, going quiet, being sad, removing a toy have all failed. Any other tips gratefully received. I don't think it's worth problem-solving with him about it yet as he does it when he loses his temper and I don't think he's mature enough to control it (or probably to problem-solve really).

Sorry, didn't mean to spill all that, especially when BBB needs all our thoughts at the moment.

Thank you all. ic I have suggested Relate - or even that he chats things through with a mate - but he's not one for meaningful talk and isn't keen. Besides, it would be a logistical nightmare to get us both there at the same time, as I wouldn't want to get babysitters so we could go in the evening (as our babysitters are his parents) and he won't arrange a weekday thing because of work. Sounds ridiculous when I put it down like that

I literally don't know what to do. I've explained, talked, reasoned, let things go (in the hope that he'll eventually notice me for more than just a housekeeper and nanny once he's had his fill of computer games, tv etc), cried, cajoled... I really feel like the change has to come from him. But that's also ridiculous, because if I want it to work I have to make changes too. But I simply don't know what I can do. Give up work so I can be there more for the kids so it doesn't matter when he's late again or doesn't answer his phone if one of us is needed? Done that. Arrange everything we do, as a family and as individuals, so we don't feel stuck in a rut because he's not into planning and organising? Do that too. See his and my families without him most of the time so he doesn't feel his precious free time is spent with them? Yep. Pick up after him and do all the cleaning etc so we have as much free time as possible at weekends? Yes. Do all his laundry etc so he looks presentable (he doesn't cares about his appearance)? Done. Cook great meals and arrange nice things to do so he doesn't get bored. Yes. Take care with my appearance so he thinks I'm worth spending time with? Yes.

Sorry. I'll go and wallow elsewhere.

survival it sounds as though your tactic has worked Sounds tricky though, have you tried offering alternatives? I do that with dd2-say sorry or sit on the stairs. It takes a while but she does get it eventually.

Thanks BBB. I'll give that a try too. He does just say sorry in a singsong voice and run off to cause more mayhem, but it's worth a try.

It must be very difficult in your situation with DH. You are a talented, intelligent, fab woman and a loving mummy and I hope he will soon realise what he's in danger of losing. Sending virtual cherry flapjack (as have run out of other dried fruit!!) and a big hug. And don't go and wallow elsewhere -it's what we're here for.

bbb of course you have to stay here. it must hurt you so much that he treats you all like this, although sounds like he treats his family the same.

Has a computer game ban ever been tried?

surival I imagine that is a very frustrating situation to be in

I have suggested it PA but he rails against it and says it's ridiculous. We have a few rules instead, such as leaving his mobile by the front door if he gets home in time to catch the girls in the bath, otherwise he'll spend all his time on it when they (and I) expect him to be engaging with them. Things like that usually work for a few days then he "forgets", DD1 or I remind him, and then he usually kicks off about how unfair such rules are. It's like living with a teenager!

And thanks *survival" for the lovely compliment (though if you saw me now, you would take it all back!).

is that his stance even after this last conversation?

BBB - I am so sorry things are so bad. It doesn't sound to me like you're the one who should be making all the efforts - he needs to change, because if things are as you describe them then apart from financially he is just another drain on family life - he gives f* all.

My DH is quite bad with the phone/computer but it's with work because he's self employed - he doesn't play games (what adult with a job and young kids has time for that?) - The way you describe him, not caring about appearance - being very into his own things, not understanding others emotional needs etc. - do you think he could be a bit Aspergers?

Anyway you don't need my armchair psychiatry - just please know that my heart goes out to you, it is awful feeling like you're making all the running and banging your head against a brick wall.

Remember whatever happens now is going to be better for you and the children because the options are either a). he changes or b). he goes.

BBB <hug>

Share around the freshly baked cherry and chocolate cc
cupcakes

BBB my DH has admitted freely that adjusting to being a dad, in terms of not having any time for himself/us etc.. has been a) hard and b)harder than he expected. He too gets caught up in computer (X Box) games and we have recently had a big row about it as he had been playing it every night since Christmas. I explained to him that it was like him going out for 1-2 hours every night and that it was causing a big rift between us (as I'm sure you have done). He immediately stopped playing it completely and that stayed for about three weeks. He now plays it when I am working in the evenings (on the understanding that he goes up to the DS if they need us). The interesting bit will be when I don't have to work in the evenings for a month or two in a couple of weeks. I only say all this to let you know that a) I sympathise with the effects it can cause and b) my husband has tried really hard to respond - let's hope yours does too (with all the areas you've mentioned). I second BC's aspergers shout, although I think my DH is just naturally lazy and less on the spectrum than I am!!

Ah, that sounds truly shite, BBB - it doesn't sound to me like there's much more effort you can make from your side - from what you say, he's being selfish and immature and needs a major boot up the backside. Jeez, I feel so on your behalf. How dare he treat you like his PA/childminder instead of his equal? It shows a fundamental lack of respect.
Why don't you start charging him for all your services (and I mean ALL) - point out that if he won't value your contribution to the marriage by sharing the work involved or reciprocating emotional support, he can bloody well pay for it.

Survival sorry you've been having a hard time with DS2. I MASSIVELY recommend the Calmer, Happier, Easier Parenting book I got free from MN - other people I know who are trying it out are similarly impressed (DH is also very pleased with it, I think it's the first parenting book that's really rung his bell). The techniques wouldn't turn DS2 into an angel overnight, but I reckon a few weeks-worth would give you some big improvements.

PS BBB wallow here as much as you need to xx

Been lurking and just had to send <hugs> to you BBB. But it's good that he realises and wants to change. Give him specific responsibilities and give him positive reinforcement when he does them....

DH went through a very long phase of computer game addiction (years) some time ago so I can empathise. What I didn't do - arrange things or meet ups with his family... If he wants to keep in touch then it's his responsibility. I would of course arrange events with mine. We agreed when he could play his computer games...., yes he had timeslots. A total ban is hard to start with. And we agreed who was responsible for what housework. Maybe make him responsible for doing his own laundry? If he has nothing to wear then he will need to take action. Or washing dishes? Start small then as time passes give him more till it's more of a fair share. Think about what you can live with. I used to moan at him for never arranging events but realised that if I wanted things to happen then I needed to do it. So i still arrange things.

After a while we agreed he wouldn't buy anymore new games. He still does play sometimes but these days not with DD around, and only occasionally now. We also compromise so he tapes the shows I like (normally I watch very little tv) and we watch them together.

DS and I had an interesting opinion difference this morning. Btween where I park the car and nursery we have to cross a busy road so I always take him in my arms to cross as there're 4 lanes of traffic to cross. When we reach the other side he goes back on the pavement and carry on walking. This morning he started playing up and ended up seated on the pavement so I told him if he didn't wanted to walk I'll go, waved bye and started walking. He looked at me, started thinking, stood up, took my gand and happily walked. It feels like blackmail but it worked!

BBB let the steam out on here as much as you want

Waves to rainbow

IC will you be trying a VBAC with JF?

Hopefully, SB!

I had a rare supermom day today, by 9:30 we had done some hand moulds as a belated father's day present and had some fun with stickers. Went to a LLL meeting after that. This afternoon went to the library, some shops where as it was raining I let her climb all over the those ride things (have a little indoor shopping centre nearby). Some waterplay in the bath (1/3 filled a baby bath in the big bath and got DD to select some random teacup toys) and then a playdough session.

with the water playing versus water drinking IC I was thinking I needed to give her more outlets to play, so if it is raining setting the bath up so it seems different (with toys you would chuck outside) or giving her a small bowl of water in the kitchen (on some towels) and let her do some washing and drying up. I was thinking tomorrow of letting her wash the outside of the patio doors.

<quietly sobbing at the outpouring of support and affirmation on this thread>

You are all lovely, lovely people and I feel privileged to know you. I hope one day to meet you all in person and thank you for everything you have done for me.

<politely declines offers of baked goods because they all seem to contain cherries today and I don't like dried fruit, but gratefully accepts all hugs>

I have some doughnuts? custard and jam varieties.

<sneaks in some more hugs>

<reminds you that everything survival said is true>

sometimes the more you do for someone, the worse they treat you

<accepts jam doughnut, fixes hair and lifts chin>

Well done on super mum day pa and to sb on winning the battle of wills.

that's it for at least a month now though I got to sleep at 11:40 last night which accounts for the extra energy.

any chance of you being able to some sleep? Failing that a bath?

I can always sleep it's one of my great strengths

Going to go to bed now. Have a horrible sore throat and runny nose, am hoping it's from being upset and not a cold. It's June, I refuse to have a cold

No dry cherries in the cupcakes but cherry jam BBB i hope you managed to sleep and that the cold has avoided you

More hugs from me BBB <hides raisin and apricot cookies behind her back> I can only echo what has been said. You are making all the effort and that is not right and it's not fair. I too am very

at your DH's behaviour. I do have some experience of it as my exP was like this with guitar-playing instead of gaming (literally to the extent if playing ALL evening or weekend while I cooked, cleaned, gardened, whatever) and I organi

sed everything or we would never have socialised. His behaviour was extremely selfish but he couldn't see it, and we rowed about it constantly. I don't have any useful advice as I told him until I was blue in the face, then after 9 years split up He was a stubborn man. Once we'd split he was devastated and seemed willing to do anything but by then I was glad to be free of him. Do you think your DH would react if you showed him how serious this is - would realise what he stands to lose? So, so sorry that you are going through this. Hope you are getting lots of RL support.

I have woken up with a cold which seems a little suspicious if you ask me

IC I think I need to get that book. DD1's tantrums are becoming more frequent and more epic. And always over something so inconsequential, like which spoon to use. As if I care, just choose another spoon, but no, she has a 10 minute screaming fit. DH has been off work this week and even he (very calm with her) is losing patience. She has had chicken pox, but very mildly, and it seems to be well behind her so I don't think that excuses her behaviour.

I feel better and hoping it lasts when DH is back at work. We haven't got a lot done this week house-wise but it is just so lovely having him around. Both girls slept til gone 8 this morning

I have been lurking and taking this opportunity to post as it's not my turn to get up so I'm not but can't scroll back as on my phone. Just seen x post with PA get well soon.

Hi scones nice hear from you.

PA I hope you're not not suffering too much.

I've got a Friday afternoon feeling at work and can't be bothered to do any more paperwork today

<Pass around beer in 2 litres bottles in a coca Mc do glass>
<OOH! yeah! classy me!>

Accept the beer!

<waves a bit and politely declines beer as wine has already been consumed in sufficient quantity...> Just come through three days of training in new job and feel very excited still. Touch wood it will last.. Dd2 had a great time with dh (who took three days off) but dd1 wasn't so keen on having a working mum. Sure we will all get used to it .

' Mama I hatched!'... One of dd2's more incomprehensible sentences until dh explained that they played a game where the girls were baby birds in their eggs (two empty rattan wash baskets with lids). The baby birds hatched and learned to fly... I think I know where dd1 gets her imagination and creativity from!!!

DS had one poo in the potty. He was a bit freaked out but with lot of praise he succeeded. He then bend down his head on the floor with his bum in the air to get it wiped Unusual but funny

I have been feeling ill all day -dizzy spell, backache, freezing cold (it's 20C outside) and nausea. I can't wait for DS to go to bed to do tge same. Fx it's viral and I'll be better tomorrow

SB I've got exactly the same symptoms as has dh. He woke up with it, mine came on this afternoon. Very unfortunate because we may have given it to a lot of people at dd1's birthday party today. Ooops.

BG get well soon. DS is in bed and I'm comtemplating going in bed too.

SB thanks and same to you.

Thanks bg. I'm now in bed hoping the painkillers are going to act soon

oh no, sorry to hear others are ill.

this cold went straight to my sinus again and combined with the weather has set of my asthma again. this is the fourth time this month so I concede defeat and will book an asthma review before you pester me BG

DD decided to climb and slip off the table today but considering how active she has been (apparently jumping your way around the house is the today's perferred mode) then an accident was bound to happen. She has also been learning that jumping on your bum without your nappy now hurts.

we only had one wet accident this week. even if wearing a nappy she will ask to go to toilet, poo's are now seemingly completely fine even though her normal schedule has been off. Plus for the last few days she hasn't had a nappy on for her nap.

i have signed up the milk bank and plan to do my first pumping tomorrow so just off to look at all the instructions.

Hope all you poorly people get well soon. I have a chest infecion to add to the list (with the ripped toenail mentioned on facebook which is much worse!!) Took DS2 to the gp on Thursday as his chest sounded awful and his nose has been producing very green stuff but they said it was viral so I didn't get mine checked. Then yesterday, I realised that was a mistake and I have got an infecion (and yet have managed without biting people, throwing myself on the floor and squealing at the smallest thing, unlike DS2!!) Anyway, I actually feel okay and, yes, PA you need a review - it's important we all look after ourselves. (Admirable milk donations by the way - good on you).

BBB how is the weekend going so far?

Hi Scones nice to hear from you. Glad the pox has been mild for DD. It did make my DS1 and 2 feel a bit emotional so hopefully she will pick up once better.

Off to have date night with DH so will offer you all a little of our Chinese takeaway (gluten and dairy free, obviously) and leave you all until the week. This should be last week of working evenings, if all goes to plan, and not a moment too soon. (At least I persuaded DH to do some ebaying and prep the nearly new sale stuff for once while I've been working evenings this week- we're another £130 better off as a result).

IC I would highly recommend to your DH that he chooses a night off in the week and sticks to it no matter what (unless it suits to swap to a different night for some reason). This has helped me in the last 14 years to stay sane with the all-encompassing work. The trouble with a contract that says ' hours of work - enough to discharge your duties' ,or some such, is that it can be never-ending. I broke the rule for only the second time in all those years this week - so no wonder I came down with something!

Night all.

Sorry last post ended so abruptly. DD woke up so I had to rush upstairs. There's been that same rather vicious virus going round here too, quite a few people at work have it. Hope you all get well soon!

Hope we all get well soon. I seem tobe better todaybut I'm not counting my chickens yet

PA well done with the milk bank

survival good luck with that last week

SB I'm still hoping to feel vaguely human by tomorrow because it would be awful to phone in sick on my first day in a new job

I'm still feeling sick and could in fact throw up nauseous. FX BG you'll be better tomorrow. If I wake up like this I think I'll call work with a sicky.
It also looks like DH is coming down with it too...

Good luck tomorrow bg

BG good luck for today

So i'm home as I still don't feel good and had a feezing cold moment last night which kept me awake for a while.

I hope you all getting better

bg good luck for today, hope it is going alright

sb

survival you doing better yet?

AF hit me last night as well, but cold and sinus are pretty OK. my asthma kicked off again this morning but had mostly resolved itself by the time I left playgroup. I don't think it quite got back to normal but as DH wouldn't let me do much at the weekend it was alright. have a appointment for friday.

<looks at state of house and heads to the kitchen for more food>

BG how was your day?

PA hope your asthma gets under control soon. AF also arrived at the weekend - the 1st since stopping the pill last month. I can now see how long is my cycle and nag convince DH to ttc.

I'm feeling better but my blood sugar have gone down due to not eating lot. Fx it'll go vack to normal tomorrow as I'm not enjoying double vision

Thinks worked pretty okay today (except still very sore stomach) and I managed to collect dd2 by half past 3 so her first day wasn't so long. She had a lovely time in nursery, no tears, and she was very chatty when I collected her. But she took a while to settle tonight and has been awake a few times so far, so I guess things are playing on her mind.

SB hope you feel better tomorrow!! Double vision doesn't sound like fun.

'things'... Right, I will not post from my phone again!!

Glad it went well bg.

Is everyone feeling better?

I'm still home but need to perk up as I need to be back at work tomorrow.

BBB how are you feeling?

Sorry to hear about all the bugs going round I hope you all get better soon.

Good to hear you managed okay, BG.

bethy good advice for DH and he's already suggested we make sure Friday nights are date nights with computers and school work banned. I'm up for it!

PA sorry to hear you've been feeling crook too. Don't shrink from getting DH and me to do stuff for you if you need us to!

We've just had a lovely weekend in Cornwall with my DSis and her family - DD loves her cousins and the feeling's mutual, not to mention the wonderful huge garden with full-size trampoline she could play in!

<twirls new name>

not very original I know

Glad you had a nice weekend IC and good that your DH is already thinking about how to manage his workload. Glad you're feeling better SB.

I'm ok. DH is making quite a bit of effort - he got me a signed cookbook, has cooked dinner and is really trying to communicate better. He has started saying what time he'll be home from work and even texting to say when he's running late. This sounds really insignificant, but I usually have no idea what time he is getting in and have to offer the DDs platitudes when they ask if he'll be home before they go to bed (my default position is to say probably not, but he'll give them a kiss when he gets in, which he then doesn't do) and guess what time to do dinner for. He gave me a "day off" on Sunday, and I deliberately spent nearly all day on my iPad, which he was pretty cross about by the end of the day. When I pointed out that it was no different to his screen addiction, he din't fly off the handle as I expected, but instead gave it some thought, then said he understood how it affects our family life.

So a bit better. But we've been here before, and it hasn't lasted. So I'm still not trusting it, which I realise isn't probably helping. But it's going to take me a while.

I think that is perfectly understandable bbb

BBB I can understand that you're not counting your chickens. It's still fresh in his mind at the moment, if in a few weeks/months he's still acting well then good. <hugs>

Hi CP are you back climbing?

well not yet, but I have plans with someone to do it in the next few weeks. She's also not climbed since being pregnant. Wanted a NC and figured I'd be simple and amalagate some past ones.

DH is at the moment trying to sell our old computer desk, fx it works like this will be £50 better and the garage emptier!

BBB Glad to hear he is making an effort. Not surprised you are finding it hard to trust this is a permanent change - but fingers crossed and don't be afraid to remind him if he slips back. Good on you for the iPad thing, hope that hit home.

Sorry so many of you have been ill - hope you're all on the mend.

IC Sounds like a great trip.

BG Glad it all went well.

So... I have taken DS out of nursery. The last three sessions he's been crying when one of us collected him. Also the front door is left unlocked and unsupervised for periods of time at arrival and departure times (which are staggered so not just twice a day), and I went and watched the balcony today after dropping him off and no one was out there with them. The height of the railing as I've said is kind of human-waist height. There was a stairgate on the stairs. But any adult stranger could easily have jumped over (I KNOW it's a million to one chance - but all the primary and secondary schools around here have high fences and locked gates so I don't see why a preschool is being so lax). Also they clear all the equipment away before collecting time - so the kids are running around an empty hall for I don't know how long. Surely they should stay later and clear away once everyone has gone?

I spent the whole afternoon feeling anxious about their approach to safeguarding and when I went to collect him he was sitting on his own while all the other kids were at the other end of the room singing. He looked very forlorn and sad and they said again he'd been tearful. I said I'd pay to the end of this week but we weren't coming back as it obviously didn't suit him (I didn't want to get into a row about the safety issue). She said I'd have to pay to the end of term. I'd accept that if they were full and could have filled the space but as I've mentioned they are not running anywhere near full capacity - I said I wasn't going to pay and outlined my concerns about safety. I said I'd observed the balcony after dropping him off and there was no one out there and she said "well we're in and out" - I remember explicitly asking and being told that there was always a member of staff on the balcony if it was open when we went for his settling in period.

I feel all nervous and sicky - I hate any kind of unpleasant conversation. I don't think they are nasty people but I do think they are more slapdash than they should be over the safety issue. I don't know whether to tell Ofsted but I do think I'm right that they shouldn't be left even for 5 mins on a near-the-ground balcony that can easily be entered by a stranger (and possibly they could work out a way of climbing out of).

DS has also said a couple of things recently that have made me a bit sad. He said "people don't like me anymore" at the weekend. I said "Oh you think people don't like you? I know I like you" and later we talked about all his friends who liked him. I didn't want to make too big a thing of it but I wish I knew what brought that on. Today when I asked him about nursery he said he did painting and fighting (!). Then when I put him in his cot he said he didn't have any friends. It's worrying because he's always been such a happy chap and he is fine when he is with his friends - I'm worried some of the older kids at the nursery told him he didn't have any friends. Anyway hopefully he'll be cheerier now he doesn't have to go back.

He did all his wees in the potty today! Every time (about 5) I had to prompt him but each time I took off his nappy it was completely dry. (No poos today either in potty or nappy). He even got to sit in his highchair for dinner in big boy pants!

Baby is fine - she's 11 weeks now and can roll from front to back. She's very chatty and doesn't sleep much in the day. she's lovely. I got a lightweight wrap sling for summer which she really seems to like. It doesn't slip down as much as the stretchy one either.

I have been trying to teach DS to dress/undress himself a bit more on his own. It does save time in the short term to do it for him but I really want him to do what he's capable of.

Feel very guilty that DH and I had rows in front of him at the weekend (and in front of my mum unfortunately as she arrived in the middle of a blazing one) - about the amount he works and still hasn't cleared his office out to be a playroom. We have cleared the air and he actually did the garden on Sunday and has put Thurs and Fri this week aside to do the office.

It was that evening after the row that DS said about 'people don't like me anymore'. I know I've said before my parents used to shout at each other and wake me up and it really is something I don't want my kids to have to suffer. Your home is supposed to be the place you feel safest - when my mum and dad rowed it was like the place was all scary and the foundations were wobbly and impermanent. I hope we have sorted things though, I think we have and hopefully there will not be any more rows - we've put a few things in place to avoid flashpoints.

Sorry to have rattled on so much and to have been so me-me-me. I am feeling quite unsettled after the whole nursery thing and although my instinct told me to get the hell out I am still doubting myself and wondering if I was being utterly precious and OTT.

Blimey that was long.

bc you have followed your instinct and acted for the best. Deep breath and well done on your DD to be rolling. I can't believe she's already 11 weeks!

PA enjoy the climbing

<points out to BC that DD rolled at eleven weeks and then became a early walker>

<legs it>

honestly, all your feelings seems rational to me so please don't minimise things, you were completely justified and well done to standing up to them when normally it is difficult for you.

bc if you didn't feel happy leaving him there, you are right to take him out. Sorry it has been difficult for you, and home has been hard too I think we don't live far apart, so do shout if you ever fancy meeting up.

Oh dear, dd2 has just been sick so here goes my theory that dh and I ate something that caused(causes) our symptoms.

BC you did the right thing!

Thanks for reassurances, everyone. ARGH - PA, an early walker with no sense, just what I need. At least she'll keep me fit. Hope climbing goes well.

BG Hope she gets over it quickly and doesn't pass it on to her sister.

BBB Would love to meet up - will PM you. x

SB Hope you get a good price for the desk.

DD slept 10pm til 4am in moses basket then in with me til 7 (I did a bit of racing mind fretting att this point but did manage to get off again) and DS did 7.15pm til 7am. So happy.

2nd jabs this afternoon, I just weighed her and she's 5kg (11lb) now.

bc by pm, do you mean fb message? I haven't done pming on mn.

BG how is your DD2 doing?

BG glad work is going well! Are you recovered? How about you SB and survival (you sound as if you have been in the wars)?

bc I think you did exactly the right thing with DS nursery. You have to trust your instincts. Stay firm on the not paying for the term too. <holds hand> Hope you and DH can continue to live sans rowing.

PA you are a saint for pumping for a milk bank. Our local hosp won't take milk, but I find pumping a chore and may bog have donated anyway. I'd like to think that I would (but might be kidding myself).

bog??? not. This phone <exasperated>
Sorry CP not PA

BBB I have my FX that DH's improvement is sincere and long lasting. I love you spending all day on your ipad

scones BC has already pumped a litre for them.

how are things with you atm?

IC your weekend away sounds lovely. Wish we could nip to Cornwall for a weekend, it's a 6hr drive for us <shudders at the memory of last time we did that drive with 15mo DD1> <shudders at the memory of that 'holiday' in fact>

Things seem better here. I am very cautiously optimistic, as I felt better a few weeks ago then plunged back into it. Loved last week as DH was off work and was expecting this week to be awful by comparison - but so far, so good <touches wood> I feel happy. It's only be feeling happy that I can see how bloody miserable I was. Maybe it is just that the first 6m are the hardest - hope so. DD2 is nearly 8m now and continues to delight. She eats whatever we or DD1 is having, mushed a bit or even chewed a bit Not following any attachment-parenting method, it's just easiest DD1 isn't tantrumming quite so much, so maybe the pox did affect her more than we thought. We read and played this afternoon and I enjoyed it But it is hard to keep 2 occupied at once! How did you do it, experienced mums!

BBB great that DH is trying to be more engaged with his family. Let's hope he realises he's drinking in the Last Chance Saloon and doesn't lapse.

Bc I don't blame you for taking your DS out of that nursery. If your gut instinct is telling you it's not right, it's best to listen to it. I hope things will be calmer on the home front now and your DS will stop worrying, poor little chap
<nods approvingly at the lightweight wrap sling>

Oh boo BG a tummy bug - just what you need. I hope it passes with minimal mess and upset for all concerned...

Good to hear things are improving for you Scones!

I just had a lovely 24 hours (give or take!) with CP and family - our two DDs were gorgeous together, played together very well and were holding each other's hands spontaneously, which was the cutest thing ever. My DD also got some baby brother practice in by cuddling CP's adorable DS. Piccies are on FB now!

BBB Great that your DH seems to be making an effort.
I have a 3rd child at home (DM seems to be very proud of me for having figured it out, and thinks every men is a child until they die! ). I think they need things spelt out clearly, most men don't take hints.
Must have taken you a huge courage to have the discussion though <hugs>

BC you did the right thing I wouldn't have been happy with the balcony situation either, DD2 would have been able to be out in a shot. Actually at the fact that they think it was OK to be in and out!

Hope the bugged ones are better now.

BG that sounds like a good start, did you solved your "time" issues?

scones good that things improved. No advice here as my 2 have such a big gap that it is a different planet.

DH has is operation tomorrow. Tonight we are going to see if/when DD1 needs hers.
We are going to try to put DD2 in a french summer school on monday! Hope it goes well and it helps her with her speech.
She has been out of nappy (we have hidden them and the changing mat and spent 2 days to convinced her to put knickers on), it is not going brilliantly, she wets herself regularly , she has no accident at all when naked though.
Nobody has carpets here so not so bad!

IC loves the pics, and your "summer" gear!

DS had a big meltdown when I left him at nursery this morning. It's so hard when he does that as it makes me feel like a bad mother despites the fact that I know he enjoys nursery. DH says that he does that because he wants to spend more time with me - that doesn't help the guilt feeling

mous I hope the surgery goes fine and potty training improves

IC great pictures.

had a random down period this morning but feel alright now. I do find with the two of them it doesn't take a lot to go from a peak to a trough and vice versa. Like scones I get a bit suspicious if I am having an unusally good period as I know I will probably hit a wall not long after.

mous good luck with everything tomorrow

stone has he been at home recently or just a random outburst? Just remember you would feel guilty regardless of your situation

It's not just you and scones who get suspicious when everything with the DCs is going well CP

mous hope your DH's op is successful. Hope you get a date for your DD1's and that french school works out well for your DD2.

SB sorry your DS gave you a hard time today. My DD2 sometimes plays up at nursery drop off, but I know that she is fine once DH or I are gone. They just know how to get us going, don't they?

Lovely pics IC.

BG are all well in your house?

Things OK here. DH has lost over a stone, so is feeling very pleased with himself. I have lost none, but then he is playing tennis and swimming as well as shredding. And I keep reminding myself that he has far more to lose than me ;) My MIL (who is part of my childcare arrangements) has been told that she has to have a major op in a couple of weeks (knee replacement) so will be out of action for a couple of months. I think she's a bit sad that she won't be able to have DD1 over the summer holidays as she was planning, but she really needs it doing and the sooner it happens, the sooner she can recover. It makes me very glad that I'm working from home now as it makes juggling the DDs much easier than when she had her other knee done last year just after I returned to work from mat leave. And of course this time I will be able to help her and FIL out much more

Before she has her op, she has asked to have the DDs for a sleepover. So next weekend, DH and I are child-free. He has promised to sort something nice out. Fingers crossed it doesn't involve sport, either watching or taking part...

You're right they know how to push the gult button

PC and scones and hugs

BBB fx your DH organise something lovely for you both.

So I'm home as I ended up at the GP yesterday who signed me off for the rest of tge week due to the fact I wasn't keeping any food in. Today seems to be better

BG how are things going?

bc have your DS and you recovered?

SB poor you, you've really got it bad! Hope you keep getting better. Ours was strangely up and down, fine in the morning, then sick as a dog by evening... Touch wood seems almost gone now and we are having our first real meal in a minute since last Friday night!
dd2 only had the one incident (I was mentally counting spare sheets and towels preparing for a rough night). I kept her home from nursery yesterday and she was totally fine! I am so glad my children seem to have strong stomachs (unlike me as a child).

Waving at everyone, will be back after dinner...

BG I just had my 1st real meal since Saturday lunch (fx I'll digest it). I need to weigh myself tomorrow to see if I've lost an weight. Great news that your dd2 vomiting as jsut a one off. DS has not caught it (I'm so glad about this) and DH has been skizzy but okay.

DS has gone to nursery with a smile and nappy free (and lot of spare trousers and pants) he just decided this morning that he will not wear his pull ups, so fx it works with not too many accidents.
He went nappy free during the night too (without me knowing) but still had a poo - what a lovely surprise for me this morning . He even managed to throw the nappy in his laundry basket, it took me a while to find it and I started doubting making wear one last night.

Waves to all

Oh dear SB what an unpleasant start to the day! Glad you're on the mend, and you too BG.

Mous FX for DH's op and for DD1.

Love the pics of IC and CP! Ah, the English 'summer'!

BBB glad you sound happier. It's great that you'll be able to help out your ILs when they need it. (But what will you do for childcare?) A child-free weekend sounds bliss

DD2 has chicken pox. She is already tons worse than DD1 was. A temp, miserable and so many angry spots I am supposed to be going to London tonight to see my best friend who's over from Oz for the first time in a year. She's said don't come of course. But I have to be in London for 9.30am tomorrow anyway to attend a conf on infertility with my SIS who has recently found out she has premature ovarian failure. I can't let her down, she has been devastated by this. I don't know what to do. DD2 needs me, my sis needs me, and I haven't seen my bf in a year.

scones can someone else have dd2 for you? Or can your friend come to you, rather than you going to her? The infertility conference is a difficult one, but I'm sure she'll understand if you can't go because one of your Dds is unwell.

sb good luck for your ds at nursery today. Dd2 is dry at night and has been for a few weeks now, but I'm resisting leaving her night nappy off for a bit longer. Silly really, as even with it on she is calling for me in the night when she needs the toilet.

I am feeling better thanks. Tired today as dh has been working long hours this week and I have been doing both ends of the day on my own. Someone asked about my childcare arrangements while mil is out of action (sorry, iPad app doesn't allow me to scroll down). Dd2 goes to nursery two days a week and I will book dd1 into the very good local holiday play scheme for the same two days so I can work. I will probably decamp to my parents in brum once dd2's nursery shuts for its two week summer break, so could meet with the other midlanders if anyone is around? It'll be the week of aug 13.

scones can you DH take over tonight and tomorrow morning?

BBB try to have some rest today and fx you'll be able to organise cover for your DD1 holidays. DS is no where close to be dry at night, I'm contemplating stopping the milk before bedtime to see if it may help the dryness.

That must be it sb. Dd2 has never been a big drinker and now tends to have a small glass of milk or two with her dinner, then literally just a few sips at bedtime. But she did wake up twice last night and did quite substantial wees .

Am hoping dd2 will decide she wants a nap soon so I can lie down with her, but at the moment she's playing with duplo and drinking peppermint tea (which I'm assuming is ok for kids - she seems to like it) and telling me how kind granny was to cut her nails yesterday .

Oh, exciting news here this morning. Dd2 has finally grown out of her size 2.5 shoes. Woo hoo!

DS does drink a lot in the late afternoon, about 1 to 1 1/2 cup of water and 160ml of milk. He goes on the potty before bedtime too (part of our routine).

2.5 shoes waou! DS is a size 6 and I always thought he had small feet.

2.5 shoes, how cute is that! dd2 is also a size 6 or possibly moving towards 6.5

DD has just moved into size 5, she caught me by surprise as she in her 3.5's for 8 months and these only two. I managed to catch the end of the brantano sale (which I think has a few days left to run)

We seem to have missed out size 3 and gone straight to 4s. Which is lucky as dd1 did the same and I had stashed away a pair of light up white and pink trainers, a pair of pink buckle shoes, a pair of silver trainers, a pair of brown boots, some green wellies, some waterproof sandals and a pair of blue clarks buckle shoes. All but one were hand me downs

2.5 that is cute, mine never fitted in it!
DD2 is pingu same language, same size of flippers feet.
She is 29 (10?) and DD1 is "only" 32 (13.5) (she is not small footed either )

DH is fine and no need for an op for DD1 (for now)

SB well done to your DS, it looks like DD2 is trained too, no accident today! even if left with the babysitter!

I'm not counting my chicken as when he'll need a poo, unless he told us prior to doinng it, he'll do it in his pants but still it was his decision to not wear the nappy and he did well

Now I'm hoping the night nappy will stay on (I've put it back to front )

mous at pingu and great news for your DH and DD1

SB Sorry you've been so poorly and about the poo surprise. Not what you need when you have a bad tummy!

Get well soon Scones's DD2 - it's hard for you being pulled in so many directions. I think the sick child trumps the London trip. It's a shame about the conference because your sister would obviously value your support,
I'm so sorry about her condition - can the friend come up and see you?

I'm more confident about my decision - the Nursery has sent out an obviously-scared-and-in-the-wrong email to all parents about the security situation, reassuring them that it was a rare occurence but "totally unacceptable". I doubt they will chase me for the money now.

2.5 shoes! Dinky!

I've had a lovely day with dd2 who's been really chatty and grown up. She is an odd child though but I keep telling myself to get a grip and just accept her as she is (so hard not to compare her to her sister all the time). Examples are that she will now only eat porridge for breakfast (I know, I know, it could be so much worse, but I am fed up with making it!), her favourite phrase is 'Not yet' which is very cute but also irritating if I am trying to get her to come downstairs and put her shoes on to go out. Usually her 'not yet' means that she wants to tidy up first before going out, eating, starting something new... Is she for real? After calling her down for lunch a few times I had to go up and get her and she was most put out because she hadn't finished putting a puzzle she was doing back in the box!

Not yet is also DS favourite at the moment

Hi all. Night off from work - phew! Only about two or three more evenings of it left before September though which is a bit like waiting for Christmas. IC I would seriously recommend that DH plans a midweek night off as well as Fridays. I used to go to the Lizard Lounge in Bristol on Friday nights when I lived in Bristol so it was never even a work night option!!

SB and BG sorry to hear you've been so poorly. By lurking the other night, I managed to contract a funny tummy for an evening, which was a trifle tricky as the hairdresser was round to dye my hair !!

Mous good to hear from you and that here are some positive things going on.

BBB I'm around the week of the 13th August until we go away in the last week of August and would love a meet up - very welcome here. Need to pick your brains about the hypermobility too as DS2 has it quite badly we now realise. His size 7.5 feet are finally helping him to stay upright, but he gets tired out by walking very short distances (and it's no mean feat to carry him, weighing almost 2.5 stone, the rucksack change bag, whilst holding DS1's hand).

We've had a regression on the toilet training this week - one day he was randomly wet six times at nursery. Initially I was frustrated, then remembered that DS1 did the same and bribed him, like I did DS1, - it has worked and he's only been wet once today. We're nowhere near dry at night, but then DS1 isn't very often!!

We've had a hideous couple of weeks behaviour-wise from both of them but the last two days have been better. I have abandoned my efforts to achieve any housework while they are both here and, by being on hand to mediate all the time, have managed to avoid injuries and world war three!! It will be very weird when DS1 goes to school in September and DS2 and I have 1.5 days alone each week. Lots of swimming me thinks for the loose ligaments.

DS2 has decided to assume ownership of DS1's strider bike now that DS1 is on two wheels. Unfortunately, he has absolutely no self-preservation skills at all and just sets off down the slope at break neck speed with his feet in the air trying to balance!! Despite, the helmet, me thinks it will not end well (unless we are breeding a BMX champ of the future!!)

At the moment, as I never like to make assumptions about sleep, we are only getting up once each night to DS2. I'm not quite sure how we've got to this point, but it's very welcome!! <shews away the MN jinx!!>

DS1 tried out school for the first time this week and we bought some uniform today - bless him, he was so excited! I made cherry and oat cookies this week for the picnic at school - I may have to post the recipe (but not for BBB) as they were delicious.

Off to grace my DH with my presence for the first time this week (due to not following own mid-week night off rules ).

survival I hope you'll be done soon with your work but great news about the sleep <push the mn jinx away>

DS had one accident today which was poo related (as I feared it would be) but except that he was happy to use the potty on the beach or at the pub (I'm already tired to carry it around! )

Weather was great today and we went to the beach in the morning and watch a car race this afternoon... DS new word is 'fast'

survival great news on the sleep <hastily touches wood>. Really hope it lasts.

We had a poo accident today too SB, DD1 did her first ever nappy-off poo on the kitchen floor Plenty of wees in the potty though and no wee accidents with nearly the whole day nappy-free (DH's idea, not mine, I have to say).

DD2 has been really rather ill with the pox. We ended up at hospital yesterday evening after taking her to the doc, who was concerned that she was far iller than she should have been for CP. Very scary but a paracetomol suppository brought down her (extremely high) temperature and then she rallied. She has still been very under the weather today with more temperature spikes but nothing like yesterday. We have three days' supply of suppositories as Calpol makes her vomit She seems slightly better this eve so FX. Of course I didn't go to London (and my sister is upset).

And DD1 loves saying 'not yet' too!

That sounds very impressive SB. Maybe we need a 'where is the best/weirdest place the potty has been used?' type line of discussion!

Both ds went to bed feeling sick. So far, so good, but definitely not counting any chickens!!

Scones - poorly baby beats sister's problems hands down, no contest. Please don't feel guilty. I hope dd2 improves quickly poor little thing.

Sorry Scones. I cross posted so looked like I didn't care! Sorry to hear that DD2 has been so poorly. I hope she continues to have better days and is over it soon. DS2 was a lot more poorly with it than DS1. Was the only time I've ever slept on the floor of their bedrooms!!

scones after the hospital scare you are right to stay with your DD2.

So far the unusual places where the potty has been used is on the beach, in our pub and in the boot of the car

Scones I am so sorry she's been so unwell - poor little J. You did absolutely the right (the only) thing you could have done. Even though she doesn't have children your sister should see that.

Here is the thread about potty used in unusual places!

I think DS wanted to join the gang - he's just done a shit on the kitchen floor.

scones Hope she is better now. I am always at doctors surprised by the seriousness of CP! Your sister will understand.

SB There is no way I will carry a potty around! I think it is very british (US?) and quite new (only a few mums did that when DD1 was PT), never seen anybody do that here nor in the french or international baby groups I go to.

SOTU hope they are fine!

PA take care with your asthma.

DD2 seems to have gotten PT completely now. The poo seems to be held all day in, though, but it goes in the toilets (only! yeah! we seems to have skip the poo in potty stage, less cleaning! ) We will see if it holds during the 3 hours of "petite maternelle" that she is going to have on monday.

BC good luck!

Mous totally agree with you, it would never occur to me to carry a potty with me, nor have I seen anyone in Germany do that! It must be a British thing. With dd1 I skipped the potty completely and I hope to do the same with dd2 and put her straight on to the loo.

I wasn't aiming to carry the potty with me neither but DS will not use the toilets and as we're out and about a lot it was the only way to avoid accident (even if he can hold a lot I'm not taking any chances).

I have one of those fold-out seat adaptors and plan to take that out and about once we are seriously PT. He did a poo through it into the loo day before yesterday. I need to buy more pants - he only has two pairs.

Yesteday we went to Hall Place in Bexley. It's an old house with big gardens and they have a sort of quiz-trail for kids on at the moment (photos on facebook). I recommed it for anyone that lives nearby BBB?

Sounds like we have been lucky with poo's, we had a few accidents in the first few days otherwise we have been fine on that front. I took the potty everywhere at first as DD's wee pattern was such we needed quick access quite frequently. She has started to consolidate her wee's now so will go an about an hour to an hour and a half. It is handy having the portable potty though and we mostly use it next to the car.

Scones so sorry to hear DD2 has been having such a hard time with cp

We are at my mum's for the weekend and yesterday me and DH went out sans kids for a few hours walking in the countryside then the DC's were taken to the fair in the afternoon and we got to chill out at the house. After their nap it is their cousin's badly party, dinner and the drive back.

BC we brought 15 pairs of knickers and pants but it is good having them scattered all over the place. When IC was here she had two accidents that evening so new situations do seem to distract her. The girls were lovely and so sweet together. Saw your photo's BC, some lovely ones in there.

I had the asthma review and have some modifications to try out with another review in two weeks. Peak flow was down at 350 which is a bit low but not too bad.

Survival yay on sleep, DD is averaging one waking at the moment and normally it is before I go to sleep anyway, it's great.

Hope everyone is ok

PA my peak flow is around 150!

We have 11 pants so it is useful with accidents. Only obe today which is again poo related - I'll have to remind nursery about it tomorrow. DS bag is full of spares so fx he'll have a good day.

scones how is your DD2 today?

So back to work tomorrow don't to go and I don't want to think on how much is wanting on my desk . I'm seriously thinking of looking for another job as I'm not sure how long mine will exist (there're lots of restructuration happening at the present), but as we're ttc it is hard to plan moving job if I get pregnant as I will probably not be eligible for paid maternity leave unless it's within the same employer (aka the states).

I hope you all had a good weekend

I was wondering whether to take potty with me when out and about it not. I assumed yes or where would she wee? We haven't had any success on the toilet yet. I haven't left the house yet though due to DD2 since she started PT.

DD2 much better <sinks exhausted into chair, grasps coffee> Her temp is normal and she must be catching up on sleep as she is still asleep In fact they both were until s while ago, I can hear DD1 pottering in her room now. She is having bad nights atm so maybe she needed to catch up too. I know I did. What considerate children!

SB boooo to going back to work I haven't said yet but yay for TTC and FX it happens for you quickly.

<waves to everyone> I had better go and see what mischief DD1 is up to...

SB glad you are better and hope you think of a solution to your work problem.

scones glad your DD2 is better. Sounds like it has been hard work, but at least it is over!

CP nice that you got some time off with just your OH yesterday.

I didn't take a potty out with me as my girls went straight to the toilet (hurrah!), but I did take a toilet trainer seat for a few weeks for DD2. Thankfully that is all behind us now and I am busy giving them away

Busy busy weekend here with lots of friends over, many meals cooked, DD1 at a birthday party... they both slept really well last night but this morning was terrible as DD2 didn't want to eat breakfast or get dressed, and DD1 was having a meltdown about her pirate outfit for school

crikey sb mine never really gets low even when I am using my inhaler most days. I guess (with the exception of this year) that fact i do frequent exercise has helped my lung function.

scones how often does she go and how long will you be out. If you drive to groups then there won't be long without a toilet but if you spend a few hours in the park or spend 40 mins walking to playgroup and then add on a few shops like we do a few days a week then your need to quick access of potty will be different.

Looks like DD wants to jump on the PT bandwagon....when we got back from shopping today, she took herself upstairs, divested herself of her nappy (most of which she then helpfully put in the wash), got herself a fresh pair of leggings (she'd leaked slightly - not surprising given the amount of water she'd been drinking during the previous couple of hours!) then got her potty and sat on it. OK, she didn't actually deposit anything in the potty, but I was highly amused by her business-like approach to the whole thing.

CP hope the asthma is settling down. Rubbish weather for it, too....

SB great about the TTC!! Glad you're now recovering.

Scones good news that your DDs are giving you some rest and that DD2 has got over the worst of her chicken pox, poor wee thing.

BG your DD2 is such a character! How's the new job going?

Sorry you've had a trying morning with your two, BBB - how are things going with your DH?

Good to hear your DS is making progress with the PT, Bc! And good that you've been vindicated over the nursery.

I've hit that part of pregnancy now when sleep is becoming increasingly uncomfortable - no amount of pillows wedged all over the place seems to ease the discomfort in my hips so from about 04.00 I spend the rest of my time in bed turning over from one side to the other (with attendant pillow rearrangement) every hour. Not helped today by DD having one of her occasional wake-ups at about 05.00. Thankfully, she resettled quickly, but the timing wasn't great, given that I'd only just got myself back to sleep after a bout of tossing and turning and Jesus doing what felt like the Can Can in my tum.

Snotty nose started mid morning (DD, not me) which probably explains the early morning wake up - she's been pretty cheerful though and tickled pink that it means she can have her honey/cinnamon cold "medicine". I just hope it won't take too long to settle her tonight and we won't have too much cold-related shenanigans once she's in her cot.....

So DS has got a chest infection and is now under AB; I took him to the gp as he was having a bad cough. But fx it was discovered early enough for him not to need steroids.

1st day back to work went okay but I'm looking around to see what may come up.

BBB I hope your day improved after your tough (sp) breakfast time

scones good news on the potty use even if you were not fully happy for it.

Good night all

X posted with IC it looks like your DD is starting to be ready for pt and boo about the uncomfortable nights (that something I won't be looking forward when pg). Will need to give atry to that honey remedy

Did I mistake scone and bc about potty use? Sorry I can't remember who mentioned it.

went and saw a hv today who thinks I am depressed. She is going to get in touch my official HV to arrange what support can be put in place.

CP <hugs>

CP oh dear. Do you feel depressed? You don't sound it on this thread.

I think I am, I have been struggling for a good month now. I was pretty teary this morning with her. I don't think I am really depressed but I have crossed something. Hopefully I might get something that will actually be helpful and then I can stop it going further. I think it is mostly related to DS generally being hard at the moment, getting anything done in the day has become impossible. Even the motorway journey wasn't enough to keep hiim asleep for more than 40 mins and he cried the 90 mins it took us then to get home. We left at bedtime as well so not like he should have been awake.

<hug>

Aw CP, I'm so sorry to hear that. Good that you're getting some support, though.
<hug>

<hugs cp>

My diabetes doctor have told me that I'm ready to be launched! = meaning we can start ttc

Wahey, SB!! Go for it!

<hugs> CP
yeah! BS
sorry for your sleep IC

DH is getting better (he is walking now)
DD1 has a cold, after getting to an hospital full of sick kids to get the all clear from the operation , I do keep telling them that every time we go healthy or not, she get something (or something on top), they just won't listen! < it was worse in the UK too! OH! those grubby waiting room toys!)

DD2 is trained (few accidents though, the school nearly send her back), she really enjoy the school but is "very active, very curious, and I can see that she hasn't been in school before because she says mine all the time and wants to do her own things all the time" , she is 2.5 what does the "teacher" expect? It is her character too (she is still telling off other children if they go close to me or DD1, "my mama, my toto" like if they would want to steal us she probably has a point with her sister though! ).
I have taught her to share and take turn the same way as DD1 but the result is quite different! I am not sure to be enamour with the "french" system. DD2 loves it though. (it is only summer school too, no need to be so uptight). Actually I am suspicious about all the pictures, not a child is smiling.

I need sleep, may be tLc, and definitely some me time, being a nurse and taking on all of DH chores on top of mine is not helping.

sorry, rambling!

mous my DS has been in nursery since is 4 months old and does have problems sharing from time to time - he shouts 'my maman' when I pick him up and will say 'no' to others kids who try to climb on the slide after him.

How is DD2's speech coming on, Mous? "my mama, my toto" sounds pretty promising!!

I slept better last night, thanks - and DD slept through. Her cold doesn't appear to be developing much beyond a bit of a snotty nose and even that hasn't been too bad today.

I took DD to the gym this morning and she had a great time - she's getting much more physically adventurous, which is good to see as she's been inclined towards over-caution up to now (not that I'm complaining - it makes for fewer accidents!!).

Our house vendors have suggested we exchange contracts soon (even though we can't complete until Aug 1st) then they'll let us have a key so we can go in and do things/drop stuff off etc. They've already moved out, so no problems there. This would help matters enormously!! Meanwhile, my hospital bag is increasingly packed. Although I'm still 8 weeks away from the EDD, I'm only 4 weeks away from when I went into labour with DD, so I'm not taking anything for granted this time....!

Hugs to CP.
All systems go SB.
Sounds like good progress on all counts IC and Mous on ds2's speech.
Have done my training day today for 40 teachers and am now shattered. Especially as ds2 helped me to only 3hrs sleep last night! Have done all my reports so now have 2 weeks to grind out and catch up on all my normal work. For tonight though, a night off and a bonus glass of wine. Back when I'm feeling human again

survival enjoy the wine and fx you'll get more sleep tonight

Blimey, that sounds like a superhuman effort, Survival!
Here's hoping you get a chance for some decent kip tonight x

CP I am sorry to hear that you're not feeing so good. Hope you can get the help you need - you can always vent here as well. Maybe Homestart can help too - just someone to hold DS for an hour while you hoover/have a cup of tea? DD was incredibly wakeful and clingy yesterday and it put me in such a foul mood (12 week wonder week).

SB Hope DS gets well soon. Great news re ttc, hope you don't have to wait long to get pregnant. V exciting.

Survival You poor thing - I can't imagine doing all that work on so little sleep. Hope you get some more good nights soon.

IC Really hope you can get all your moving done before the arrival of young JF.

My dad rang yest to say he's now feeling up to travelling and will be arriving on the 11th for a week. Mum having DS today and I'm having my first haircut for about 5 months.

Potty training not going so well. He still won't say beforehand. He'll go if we put him on potty or loo and he needs to but his default position is to say "no" if asked. Driving me a bit mad. Maybe I should leave it for a month but I really want him trained before Sept. Also there's the pride thing, you don't want people to think you're a shit parent and you want them to think your kid is on schedule with their development.

bc DS doesn't ask to go but agrees to sit on the potty when prompted (every 2 hours ish).

BC Don't worry too much about what others think about pt! Every child is different and among my friends there are children dry in the day by anything from between 15 months and 3 1/2 years. If it is causing yourself and him stress just put him back into nappies for a month and then try again There are no prizes for early pt!
dd2 is nowhere near ready. I had a trial for an hour or so without nappy last week and she was very proud of wearing pants. I asked her every so often if she needed a wee and got 'not yet', then she suddenly did the cowbow walk... . After two lots of wet pants in an hour she agreed that she'd like to please have a nappy again. I'll see how ready she is in August at my parents' and try again then. There is no need to rush in my opinion

IC Exchanging as soon as possible sounds like a good move (pun intended) .

Waving at everyone else... we are drowning here and I am getting a little grumpy about the lack of summer

our LO's are just that, still little, they're not even 2 and a half yet. remember you only hear the people talking about it, not those sticking their fingers in their ears for a bit longer. I found that when weaning, just the fact people were talking about weaning their LO's before 6 months put a pressure on me, even though no judgement was ever intended. peer pressure can still be horrible.

CP completely agree, and it never seems to stop. When they get to 3 and 4 there will be plenty of people wanting to know if your LO knows all their letters yet/ can read, then once at school some parents compare book bands their LOs are on.... I did have a few moments of anxiety with dd1 because it's so hard not to compare, but find myself rather laid back with dd2

I haven't really noticed any competitive parenting - either it's water off a duck's back with me, or I've been lucky enough not to encounter people who imply judgement of such things. I've got one friend who's just successfully potty-trained her DD (who's exactly the same age as my DD) and another one just potty training her DS, who is about 8 months older. I think DD is close to being ready (and she's keen!) but I just can't be fagged to go through it all now, only to have to re-do a lot of it when DC2 arrives..!! If other people want to judge that, I know where they can stick it

I haven't been exposed to competitive parenting but I don't frequent a lot if parents with kids the same age as DS; also DS made the decision not to wear nappies and I had to follow! He did his 1st wee in the kids' toilets at nursery today but still has one accident a day (poo related). I'll try bribery at the weekend to see if it helps

He nanaged to take his nappy off during the night and as a result he and all the bed were soaked this morning. It was back to front!!! DH is suggesting cable ties and I'm starting to consider this idea

what about some tape?

Parcel tape? <not helpful>

I'm furious with dh tonight who is really stressed about money (both our cars needed expensive repairs) but will not listen to reason... This month is hideously expensive even without the cars because I will be working close to 6 weeks before getting paid at he end of July. But we have to fork out for nursery deposit, nursery fee, after school care, extra fuel costs for my commute etc. Simples, no?

I actually thoght of wrapping the napoy with tape

bg and breath. He'll realise at the end of the month that there was a reason and that things will improve

Thanks SB, letting off steam here has already calmed me down

dd2 has suddenly realised that she can undress herself without help and appeared on the landing earlier stark naked (in fairness I had told the girls to please put their pyjamas on, then got distracted when I had meant to help dd2) and singing look at me I am naked.... . Hope she won't copy your ds though SB

dd2 just came to me saying 'My arm is too big for my hand'... Hm? I think she's trying to reach something or reach into a gap.

SB yay on TTC!

BG your DD2 makes me . Hope your DH gets to grips with your finances or simply bows to the highre authority on such matters (you).

survival well done on the mammoth effort on so little sleep. Have the nights improved?

CP how are you doing?

mous glad your DH is OK. Hope your DD1 gets better soon and that the nursery gets used to your DD2!

IC good news on exchanging soon and starting the house move. Very exciting.

bear don't worry about what people think about when your DS should reach certain milestones. When my DD1 was toilet training (of her own volition), one of my antenatal friends got a bit spooked that her DS might get left behind, so decided to go for it even though he (to my eyes) simply wasn't ready. She had a terrible year or so with him, and he still has issues with it. In stark comparison, another one of our group has a very bright DS who simply wasn't bothered and she patiently waited until he wanted to do it and it was a breeze. Yes, he was in nappies for more than a year longer than some of his counterparts, but she didn't have lots of laundry and tears. Remember, it will all naturally happen in time.

Also bear how is the haircut? And glad your dad is well enough to visit, how lovely!

Things here are good. DH really does seem to have sorted out his attitude and is much more engaged with the girls and me than he was. But the major shift is that he isn't flying off the handle anymore, and is actually paying some heed to my feelings and thoughts, rather than getting defensive then angry and it leading to a row.

After a terrible start to the week on Monday morning (both DDs wailing about breakfast and getting dressed for no apparent reason), things have definitely improved

Two year olds are not known for being subtle... Dd2 just told her friend off for sucking her thumb: 'You are not a baby anymore!'

BBB glad things are looking a bit better on the home front . My dh is going through a bit of a culture shock at the moment that he is suddenly expected to help (minimally!) to get the girls ready and do the nursery drop off and some pick ups. He's coping fine and not complaining but he did say that he had no idea how expensive nursery is... (Relatively speaking ours is good value at 38 pounds a day)

IC For your sake I am please it's not too hot although I thought of you the other week when it got quite humid. Can't believe it's only a few weeks to go!! I am positive we'll have a beautiful September and October so you can have lots of time sat in the garden cuddling and spend plenty of time outside . And having met your dd I think she will be a wonderful big sister!

survival hat off to you for all the work you do! Hope you get a chance to relax a bit over the holidays before it all starts again next term

mous has your dd1 finished school for the summer? I had to smile at the thought of your gorgeous dd2 in a rigid French school . I am sure she'll win them round with her smile!

SB Have fun trying for another dc

CP Are you okay? So sorry you aren't feeling too good. Did your dh apply for that London post after all? Forgot to reply at the time but did wonder about the logistics of his commute and whether you'd have even more on your hands with two LOs and him going early and coming home late... Also, do you think you find it harder than you thought to be a SAHM? Could you maybe do some tutoring at uni or keep your eyes open for part time opportunities, consultancy work? I found it invaluable to sit on a research ethics committee the last three years to keep my brain ticking over . I think you have done an incredible job to look after two dc who are so close together and are not the best sleepers. Maybe it's time to look after yourself a bit more again and accept all the help you can get

Oh dear, dd2 has read this thread again and now likes to take her nappy off.. She just appeared naked from the waist down looking a bit unsure of herself

BG can I welcome your DD2 to my nappy world? DS went to bed with a back to front nappy yesterday and got up this morning with a front to front (iyswim) nappy Good that I normally know what I'm doing because he could really make me wonder sometimes

CP you're okay?

IC fx you can move in soon and get settle before the arrival of JF

bc great news about your dad visiting

BBB glad to hear your DH is reacting. Fx it lasts

i'm fine thanks, am on logical mode as the ILs are here (but staying in a hotel) until saturday. arrived at 10am this morning. just trying to make the most of it and controlling the situation so certain things don't happen.

Although they still managed to sneak a beef roll into her. we had a discussion about what DD would need to eat after her nap as I was popping out and leaving them to it this afternoon. i explained nothing usually but maybe a piece of fruit, at which she went into detail at all the fruit she had. They got in and MIL announced that DD probably wouldn't be hungry for dinner (i had said to bring them back at X time as i would be serving dinner) and DD had had grapes, banana, a satsuma, beef roll, more grapes and some jelly beans Will explicitly ask for her not to have much tomorrow and also made some reference to it today.

Me and DH are looking into nurseries. We are going to look at one that doesn't have a waiting list to put DCs into initially for 2 afternoon's a week and then down to 1 afternoon a week. we have a bit of savings so it can come from there. Also told my mum and she will visit on her day off next week and in a few weeks my sister is coming to stay for a few nights. At the end of the month we have a three day visit to Notts planned anyway. HV hasn't been back in touch so will ring her tomorrow.

<ignores the fact that this is all about me>

Oh, and it looks like dd2 has now picked up her own imaginary friend called Peaky. dd1 has had several since she was about 18 mths old (or before?) and was getting a little cross because dd2 tried to borrow one . I think it is official, I have strange children!

CP x post. Glad you are planning a little time off for yourself , not so pleased about your MIL

DH has applied for the job, but even if successful we're not sure about taking it

i think sahm has been alright but I have struggled with not knowing what I was doing, so whether to apply for jobs and which ones, the fact DH isnt going back to being a SAHD (he is happy to quit work if we move for a job for me, but would look for work once moved), moving quite pg into a city where i knew no-one and finding having the toddler as well makes it hard to make friends (i am invited to coffee quite a bit but practically not the best thing for us) and of course, ds not going more than 2-3hrs and being tricky to get to sleep and easily unsettled

and your right, the not having a regular exercise thing sorted yet.

thanks bg i am trying to stay detached from them all so it hasn't bothered me that much yet

oh and DS still doesn't take a bottle, going to give that another go at the weekend so <fx>

CP you're incredible to have gone through all that and still be upbeat (until now)! I was impressed when you finished a PhD, had a baby, and moved halfway across the world for a postdoc job all in the space of a few months... You managed then, you can do it again!

CP <his> try to ignore ILs and as BG said in her comment above. Have some

Aw BG that's a lovely thing to say about DD (being a good big sister)..! She's pretty enthusiastic about the idea at the moment, let's hope she's as enamoured with her little brother out of the womb as in utero!!
Your DD2 is a scream.
What is it about this clothing removal thing? DD has started doing it too at random moments. Thankfully (apart from the time mentioned above) the nappy usually stays on.

BBB wow, I'm impressed at the continuing improvement in your DH's attitude - here's hoping it's a proper new leaf and not a false dawn.
<mixes metaphors hopelessly>

CP I'm not surprised you're finding it tough to stay cheerful at times, given what you say. And the broken sleep can't be helping, either. And yes, you're an amazingly bright and active woman who could do with more outlets at the moment. The nursery idea sounds good.
Your MIL is so incredibly insensitive I'm not surprised she drives you mad. Bloody woman.

SB blimey, your DS is a bit of a Houdini, especially when it comes to escaping his nappies...!!

Yesterday I heard the sickening sound of DD tumbling down the stairs - we've become more relaxed about leaving the stairgate open, so it was inevitable sooner or later that she would fall...
<berates self>
DD yelled her head off, but was more frightened than hurt - just a small graze to her head, nothing remotely serious. Interestingly, she wanted to "get back inside Mummy's tummy" directly after, achieved by letting her crawl under my (thankfully capacious) maternity wear. It certainly calmed her down, as did the notion that her little baby brother "kissed her better".

This afternoon she's been a bit hot and clingy with that slightly hollow-eyed expression which suggests she's either fighting off something or coming down with something. I'm hoping it's the former. We gave her a precautionary dose of paracetamol before she went into her cot, FX she'll sleep off whatever it is.

Should be <hugs>

sorry ic but that made me chuckly, bless her. as you say, was going to happen at some point. Are you OK now though?

thanks you all guys, although writing it down it doesn't sound like much to be going through. It's hard having two so i guess it doesn't take much to tip you over. right around the point i wanted to ask for help was when everyone i would have asked were busy (holidays) or going through stuff themselves.

DD had a fever tonight, not sure if it related to the fact she was out in the heat without a hat (mil couldn't find it) or suncream (MIL saw it and decided not to bother) or if she is just coming down with something.

Heat? You have heat CP?

IC I also laughed while having tears in my eyes about your dd trying to climb back in for comfort and her baby brother kissing her better! Awwwwww...
dd2 is still a little alarmed by the thought of having been in my tummy but she gives me the benefit of the doubt...

CP two small children's demands + sleep deprivation = ARGGH!
I'm not looking forward to that aspect being a mum-of-two either. I think that plus the other things you mention are more than enough to get someone on a downer.
Bless you for asking after me post-tumble! I had a little "what if" reaction cry shortly afterwards, then tapped it out before I went to bed, so I feel okay about it now. A little wake-up call regarding complacency, anyway - I probably needed that.
Oh dear that your DD is also feverish. I hope whatever it is passes quickly (nice one MIL, not paying attention to the sun... )

IC glad your dd was fine after her fall and at the kiss it better

CP can she be allergic to her GP? more seriously good luck

Time to go to bed and discover in the morning whatDS has done with his nappy

BG heh, yes even in the midst of my guilty concern, I had to smile about that too...!

IC glad to hear that DD is okay. Bless her for her reaction afterwards.

CP I don' know if you've still got some of our old threads saved, but I'm sure if you could flick back through them you'd find me having down periods of time when mine were little. Having two close together is sooo hard (and yours are closer than mine). Plus, I had a number of friends around me so you really have done it the hard way. I hope your HV gets back to you soon and helps you to get back on track. It sounds like you and DH are coming up with some good practical ideas too. In the meantime, do use your current frame of mind to completely fly off the handle at MIL in a way that you wouldn't normally do and let her know what a stupid woman she really is. (I'm not making light of how you're feeling, I just think your MIL really has it coming to her and you are so accommodating - may be now is the time?)

SB liking the nappy action. DS2 was climbing the filing system at work today. We've had a regression on the potty training in the last couple of weeks which has been really annoying, but he had a dry day today so we've really praised (and rewarded) him for it in the hope that we can get back on track.

My Thursday went well with both boys. A 90 minute bike ride round the park seemed to knock some of the over exuberance out of them! DS2 has claimed DS1's strider bike (now that DS1 is on 2 wheels) and managed to ride it for about an hour - a lot more than DS1 ever managed! He kept shouting, "Look at me!" to all the folks we passed and regularly turned round and followed other children on their walks instead of staying with DS1 and I!

BG your DD2 sounds like fun too. DS2's latest phrase is, "It's not fair!" usually uttered before collapsing in a heap on the floor wherever we are!!

How are all the poorly LOs today? dd2 is very tearful and doesn't want to do anything at all. She gagged on her cereal this morning and has bad breath so I am suspecting tonsillitis...

poor thing

DD didn't wake until 6:30 and then napped 9-10. ILs are taking her to town for a fewhours so she should just sit in the buggy and watch the world go by. fever but not too bad. at least i know she has a bug rather than anything else. hopefully they will be sensible won't have her out too long

surivaly i thought about that but I don't want to them knowing I am struggling. I am already doing better just by vocalising stuff and I am starting to see things that I have been doing that were a bit fuzzy and ill judged in hindsight e.g. i haven't really been giving DS enough bf's in the day which won't help night sleep.

Okay, gross alert here... dd2 announced she needed a poo and wanted to use the loo, so I put her on but nothing happened. Then she sat on the potty, again nothing. So I put her back in a nappy and sent her off to play. Two minutes later she appeared naked, offering me her very full nappy . Taking off her nappy had resulted in rather a lot of transfer down her legs... Yuck. I think potty training is starting from today and I have had a little chat with her hoping she remembers that poo in the nappy is for me to deal with, not her!

Bleugh BG!
Here's hoping your DD2 doesn't have tonsilitis, ouch....

Sorry to hear your DD is still a bit poorly, CP.
DD woke up very hot in the early hours - but didn't make a fuss. I needed to go to the loo and as I went I heard this little voice saying "Mummy, can I have some water in my green cup..?" Very cute!! After supplying the requested water, another dose of paracetamol and some "more gentle" (head massage), DD went off again just fine. This morning she woke up seemingly back to normal, ate a hearty breakfast and lunch, but her temperature has gone up again (I haven't measured it, can tell from her body heat) and her eyes have that slightly glassy look again. That said, she's in good spirits and not overly clingy, so whatever it is doesn't appear to be affecting her too seriously.

Ha, famous last words....
DD's temperature went up again after her nap and although she managed to eat a bit of fruit for supper, she's otherwise off her food. Temp seems to respond to cooling measures (lukewarm bath, paracetamol), so I'm not unduly worried. I have a suspicion it might turn out to be roseola (your DS had it last year, didn't he SB?) seeing as it tends to start with mild upper respiratory symptoms (DD's sniffley cold-let, which started earlier in the week), then produce a high-ish fever for a few days. The rash comes out when the fever breaks, so I won't know for sure until/unless that happens. Anyone else's LO had that bug?
Of course, I could be misdiagnosing, but we'll see.

How are your DDs CP, BG ?

IC yes DS has roseola when he was 6 months old (if I recall well). It was 3 days of high temperature (39C+) and on the 1st day without fever the rash appeared and lasted 24 hours. I can't remember if he had any cold symptoms before hand. But I think there may be a bug/virus around as DS had fever during the 4 days of Jubilee weekend (I thought it would be chicken pox) and nothing came out. Fx she'll get better soon

DS chest infection doesn't seem to clear despites the ab. He is coughing less but he's still whizzy but the ventolin helps.

BG we need to make sure that my DS forsn't email your DD2 to give her tips on nappy removals

i'm planning to use bribery this weekend regarding poo and potty use as his only accident per day is caused by bowel movements

bribery has worked well for us. It is not a technique I like but I rationalised it by the fact that from DD's point of view there is/was no reason to potty train, it is purely because I want her to. However she was easy enough to wean off it, plus we explained that if she does poo's in her nappy or pants then she might get sore which seems to strike something with her. it seems we're averaging one wet accident a week counting two wee's in quick succession when IC was here as one. We said that after poo's or wee's in potty it would be chocolate milk time and we have been letting her have it ad hoc so it wasn't purely associated with the PT. For the most part she would ask for the milk and we'd say after potty time (in the same manner we would say banana was for after sleep etc. or juice was when we got to toys). not really sure what point i am trying to make here

Both DCs have mild fevers, a bit snotty and were unsettled. DS also has a cough but none of them are that bad so far <fx>

sb your DS really does suffer from them all doesn't he.

Bribery doesn't work on either of mine unfortunately. They give me a scathing look and laugh behind my back <feeling very inadequate as a mother who's children refuse to be bribed or threatened...>

IC I hope your DD is better. It was DD2 with roseola last year. No cold symptoms that I recall. But hers was atypic as the fever lasted more than 3 days.

No bribery here either. DD1 would have laughed at me too BG and DD2 is no where near understanding what it means.
Although the teacher says she is not way behind .

Not much improvement on the speech. She is trying hard but it is almost all gibberish. She has few new words there, here, down, hoppa, doi, pogone (pop corn ), pizza... But most of the time she says it once and that is it. Sometimes she comes up with a full sentence "Klaus, eat that onion" to a friend of ours (well she did have a piece of onion in her hand).

She loves the school though! but I have no way to know what she is doing unless I ask the teacher. (a pity it is too expensive and far away for next year)

oops DD2 is awake and poorly (39 C last night) so I have to go before having to answers anyone, sorry for me post.

<hugs> PA, BBB, BC and scones. (and BG's DD)

Issues with poo here too probably due to the fever FX.

so I now weigh 48-49 kg but my BMI is holding at just above 20. Do you reckon I just attribute it to having two young ones and bfing or bother with a GP? I was looking to give blood but just as I have reached the time where I think they accept it, I don't weigh enough.

CP are you underweight for your height? BMI of 20 sounds fine to me (but then I'm lucky to get mine up from 18 to 19...). I weigh 60kg but am somewhat taller than you (by about a foot if I remember rightly ). Sounds like I wouldn't be accepted as a blood donor then...

Mous sounds like your dd2 is really enjoying her time at school and what a shame it's too far away and expensive to carry on with. But fantastic to hear from someone experienced in child care that despite her speech she's not behind!!!