August Babies ...... part 3

[Katherine]

Thought it was about time we had a thread which didn't take hours to load though....

Well caught up with Wills on the other thread and feel so very bad for her. Sending you all my love Wills.

I guess everyone is feeling quite low judging by the lack of postings here but we can't let the thread sink. So just thought I'd tell everyone that DD2 has just got her first pair of wellies. They are a size 4 and her shoes are size 1 so she has to waddle and I put lots of socks on her. but she absolutely loves them. So this morning we are going to go and find some puddles (not that difficult round here at the mo but they have to be shallow enough

I'm not trying to be frivolous but I think we all need a bit of a smile. Hugs all round

[champs]

katherine, ty for starting a new thread. dd must look so cute

[Katherine]

yes but she still got wet feet. And wet legs. And then there was the moment when she fell on her nose....... but I think she enjoyed it.

[Marina]

What a nice idea, hope Wills can pop over from her other thread sometime soon and know we're thinking of her here too.
at dd2, Katherine, how sweet.
Dd crawled at 150mph into ds' room last night in the nuddy, gave me a wicked little look as she stood up, and widdled all over his carpet ...talk about "I wee on your floor covering, nasty big brother. Take THAT!" Luckily he was downstairs watching Storymakers and has yet to query the damp patch smelling of Zoflora...
We are nowhere near wellies yet but she has staggered up and down our hall clinging onto a brick truck, so as far as her baby book and the HV are concerned, she's WALKING.
It is the little triumphs and smiles that keep you ticking over, isn't it.

[Katherine]

just realised that Ihaven't seen DD2 crawl for ages (well a week or so). Its like now she's found her feet she's just too grown up for that sort of thing....... She's a proper toddler! Are we really at that stage already

[KMS]

I agree katherine, my DD hasn't crawled for ages. Scary to think they are proper toddlers now!

[tortoiseshell]

Hi everyone, thanks for starting this one katherine! Agree, can't let thread die! I think we might be the longest running of them all. If not the most prolific posters - April and May 2004 have a bit of a competition going there! But maybe we are quality not quantity!

Champs, I just saw your other thread - hope you're ok. (((hug))) Sorry things are black at the moment. PND can be a curse, can't it! Also, Wills, I hope things are looking better for you. I wish I could do something for you, but I hope that us just being here might help a little. ((hug)) for you too.

Katherine, I think you were right in saying we all needed a smile - I've certainly been finding the children more challenging the last month or two. Ds is becoming a very strong-willed little boy, and every day we have the fight about whether he has to wear his coat or not, which clothes he is going to wear, whether he is going to deign to eat any food today or not (if I hear 'no child ever starved themselves to death' one more time I might try a controlled experiment to prove them wrong...joke! ). Dd has been pooing for England this week - you know the scene, late for playgroup, about to go out the door, have finally managed to get ds into said coat, and shoes, got his packed lunch into his bag, picked up requisite number of bags...what's that smell? Oh well, leave it till we get home - oh. Poo down her tights (and coming out at the knees. Poo up her back - in fact, out the top of her dress. Poo smeared all over bathroom as we try to change her. No clean clothes - first outfit of day lasted exactly 25 minutes.

But, poo aside, dd really is gorgeous at the moment - she's really communicating, responding to questions, pointing at things in books, playing games with us, toddling round examining things. She is a real blessing (as is ds, but being 3 can take the shine off!!!).

Hugs to everyone who needs one, and to everyone who doesn't! xxxx

[champs]

ty tortoiseshell!! lolololol omgosh wat a laf i no i shouldn't laff but ty ty ty for cracking a smile on my tired face. pooh out of tights. omgosh reminds me of a mishap i had at hairdressing job years ago..... ty for the hug too.

[KMS]

Tortie. LOL! Ty for the laugh!
We must be one of the longest running threds?

Big ((huggs)) to all too.

[Katherine]

Wills - hows things?

[champs]

thinking if you too wills. ((((((((HUGZ)))))))

[Wills]

Hi all,

Oh Champs I'm soooo sorry about the PND. Haven't seen the thread but will hunt it out. PND is awful - well actually depression of any sort is awful. Lots of hugs.

Taking time out of work has really helped me. Spending time with kids has been great, but I've also taken time out for me and a little bit of christmas shopping (including an out fit for me . My dm is still being a pain, I guess I've just got to get better at letting her temper tamtrums run off off of me like water off a ducks back etc. DH are thinking about moving house in the next year and I've decided to buy two trees (baby) in memory of the two that I've lost and hopefully when we finally find a house to settle in I can plant them out.

Having time out has helped me prepare for tomorrow. We're off tonight to Portsmouth and will visit the consultant tomorrow at 6.00pm. We're staying with very close friends who will give us loads of fuss and attention and who have kids the same age as ours. Both of us are really tense. DH is in a foul mood about it one second and incredibly loving the next - hard to keep up with. Oh well best get going otherwise dd1 is going to be late for school.

Love and hugs to all.

[Katherine]

Hi Wills. I planted trees too. Well bushes really. When I had the first 2 we were in rented accommodation so I bought two mahonia bushes and planted them in pots. I kept them till we moved here and now one is still in the pot and the other is in the garden. Then after my last loss I got a witch hazel tree because they are very small (tree wise) and are well known for their healing properties. I think its a lovely idea. I've also got a holly bush in the garden that we planted for a friend when she lost a baby. That one moved with us too.

I'm glad you've had some time out. You certainly sound a bit better. I hope it all goes well in Brighton. Will be thinking of you.

Champs, Hugs about the PND - Its awful when these things strike isn't it. Hope you are getting the support you need.

[Marina]

Hello all, I was going to mail you at home today Wills to see how you are, very best of luck for tomorrow. Can you keep us posted? So nice to see you at the City lunch last week, it really was. Tom's tree had a bumper crop of scarlet apples this year (it's a crabapple, like Triplets has for her son Matthew) and next year we're going to make jelly from the fruit. A tree or shrub is a lovely idea. I remember susanmt had snowdrops round hers. Katherine, is witch-hazel the shrub with the lovely corkscrew stems?
Champs, I have this feeling there was more news on your other thread, and not good (Mumsnet is so MASSIVE these days I keep meaning to go back to threads and read/reply and then don't), big hugs to you and for the PND too.
KMS, how are things generally for you?
I was wondering whether we could all attempt a meet-up somewhere central England-y in the New Year (erm, Birmingham perhaps??). I have been gradually CAT-ing you all to try and get this underway but work has been monstrously busy lately and I am not very well organised!
Wouldn't it be nice to try and have an August 2003 summit!
Dd is just the tops. Not walking yet, but standing unassisted and trotting round the house if her hands are held. She is a great laugher and curl-shaker, and is doted on shamelessly by nursery nurses, school cleaners, people on buses etc. Moments like those make the night wakings, the giant whiffy poos (LOL tortoiseshell, and did you see Ellaroo's poo horror story? ), the relentless pursuit round the floor to stop her eating Bionicle components etc, worthwhile.
Tortoiseshell, I broached the subject of piano lessons for ds at parents' evening last night. The music teacher roared with laughter and said ds' strengths were much more in talking about music and thinking about it than making it , so we're holding off for now. Thanks for all your advice. Ds maintains he wants to learn but if he wanders off into la-la-land while responsible for a triangle I don't really see him taking to piano practice yet!
Tut, I come here far too infrequently and then go blethering on. Warm wishes to all! XXX

[champs]

hi all!! tysm for all the kind posts. I am trying very hard to keep going. I feel like i am split into different people at the moment. One time i am happy and excited and looking forward to stuff, the next I am down and dont want to get up. I love my kids and my dh so much and feel sometimes they'll be better off without me (Icant believe i wrote that!!) I also feel like such a b(excuse the language) for being this way as i snap and argue for no reason, or just mope and cry. My ds said to me on Fri "whats wrong mummy, you look sad" I told him i was just a bit upset and he said "what did I do?" Oh how my heart broke and tears are forming now as i type, He really thought he did something to make me feel sad/upset. I hugged him and told him he didn't do anything and that he is such a good boy. He has been very clingy this w/e and i feel that too is my fault. Why can't I bve a happy mum for them and a happy wife? Poor dh doesn't have a clue sometimes. He comes home from work and i'm in a mood and he too thinks he has done something and cant think what as he has just come in.
Sorry for going on and on. I do feel quite a fraud even posting this here as i feel a bit out of order towards you Wills, I know my problems are no way as stressful as yours and i am so glad you took time off from work, I missed that part before. How did the consultation go? I will look at your other thread to see if you posted any news there.
The trees and bushes are such wonderful ideas and it must be comforting to have them. I didn't realise you all had these losses, sorry if i have been insensitive before as i really didn't know. you are all so loving and caring, and have shown such strength.... OMGosh i'm gushing nowbut that's how I feel. Bless you all and your families.
Wills are you still going to disney/euro disney at Christmas?

[Wills]

Oh Champs. PND is awful, I've had it. Yes my life is a mess and yes sometimes I feel like someone up there has got it in for me but even so I don't feel like I did with PND. I felt like I'd completely lost it i.e. gaga and yes like you wondered if my family would be better off without me (I considered running away). The pills helped me that time round and life does get better. I haven't found your thread but will go looking but the best thing I did was get counselling. With the right counsellor (and I stress the right one) life will again feel far rosier. YOU are NOT a fraud. This is NOT my thread and I refuse to take it over. Its our thread to share our ups and downs together and I would be horrified if anyone thought they couldn't come on and talk about a shit day because of me.

Talking of me I've contributed to the other thread its here . I'm finding it difficult to recount what happened so if you don't mind I'll get you to refer to that instead. I do however want to start a sort of discussion with you all. We have decided that we need to start living for now rather than putting off things until later in case there isn't a later. As such we are considering moving down to the South Coast (Bosham, Brighton, Hayling Island sort of area). Both of us have always wanted to return back to the coast and we would certainly have the money to buy a reasonable size house down there. The pros would be the sea, and the improvement in lifestyle. My concerns are twofold. Firstly we have a fantastic but highly complicated nanny arrangement where we share a nanny 50:50 but all the children are together so its not a case of 3 days this week and 2 the next which is more the norm. Secondly are all the friends that we have around us. Having moved from Portsmouth 9 years ago I know from experience that friendships that mean anything will last so that doesn't worry me. I also know that we will make more friends, but deep friendships can take time to find. I've been living in London now for 9 years and have made loads of friends but only 2 sets where I would feel comfortable crying my eyes out on their shoulders. In the worse case scenario things go rapidly wrong with dh I'm concerned that I wont have built up my support network of friends that would enable me to cope. Do you see what I mean? This is what is scaring me most. At the same time nothing ventured nothing lost is my motto. I suppose we could always move back.... What would be your thoughts girls?

[Wills]

By the way I meant nothing ventured nothing gained - sounds a little ominous the other way around.

[champs]

hi wills, so glad to hear from you. Thank you for your kind words.
In regards to your dilema, I think you should go for it. It will be a wonderful thing for the family. And a lovely way of life. would you give up work? Would dh work somewhere else?
as for the nanny situation, this is quite hard as childcare is so hard to come by, could your nanny recomend someone? Or maybe here agancy? Your 2 sets of friends could come to visit you and you can keep in contact with them. I know it's not the same but we are all here for you too. There may also be a few MN's that know you, who are in the local area you are planning to move to.
If the worse happens, like you say you can move back and be around your friends.
I think it is really great you both are taking the live for now way.
Love to you both. xxx

[KMS]

Hi all,
Wills you sound so much better after your time off. I reaad your other thread too and i really hope 2005 will be a great year for you all. You deserve it! I would go for the move! as you said you could always move back.

Champs, haven't found your thread, but I know exactly how you feel. although my depression wasn't PND i felt exactly as you describe. I too felt that the family would be better of without me. SOmetimes feeling ok others just crying all the time and couldn't get out of bed. My eldest also said similar things to yours. The tablets and counselling worked wonders though and are well worth it. they just take a little time to get going.

I am doing ok.Still having problems with my ankle though. Although with the help of a very strong ankle support i managed to do my martial art grading yesterday and felt great to pass and get my next belt. DD has started to be a cow about going to bed. She now screams when i leave the room. Tonight I started the kissing to sleep thing i have read about in a mag and it worked! You kiss them and step away from the cot for a bit then go back and kiss again and step back further. keep going back and then further away untill I was out of sight then straight back again. Then eventually I was walking down (very creaky) stairs and straight back then sat down for a couple of mins then back to kiss then she nodded off! No screaming, and i did lots of exercise walking up and down stairs!
Will it work tomorrow. will try to move on quicker tomorrow, and hope she remembers that I always come back.

Better shut up now as a long post!

HUGS to all. and yes a meetup would be nice.

[KMS]

I am really sorry to post about this, but I really need your help. I have just done a preg test as my periods are all over the place and it is +ve! i am in shock. My DH will freak when I tell him as he has been saying for ages that we definately won't have any more as he is sick of babies. I am not sure how I feel. I love being preg and I love the baby bit but I am not sure if I could cope with 4 children. We are also strugling finacially at the moment and have just started a conservatory as we can't afford to move and need more space for the 5 of us! We moved into this house with 2 children then DD came along a bit earlier than planned. The boys share a room but DD's room is tiny.
OMG what am i going to do! How am i going to tell him?

[champs]

kms, hi!! thanks for the kind post. congrats on passing your grading, and with a bad ankle too!!

have you told dh yet? i really don't know what to say hun, i know what you mean about an extra one, financialy we are not in the position to have another one yet and know how you must be feeling. i always get all goey at the news of a baby and i just feel like saying congrats but i know that may not be what you want to hear. i think you may feel better if you talk to dh, after you get things sorted in your head first. please post soon, champs xxx

[champs]

just noticed it sounded like i was talking about your grading all the way thru i'm sure ykwim!! was just answering to two posts in one....

[Katherine]

Wow KMS congrats. I know you are feeling a bit mixed up but things will work out one way or another. When I thought I was pg I was gutted at first but once I'd calmed down the panic went away. Will be a challenge but a fun one!

Wills caught up with you on the other thread. More hugs.

Today I have to rip the floorboards up in the lounge. And then tomorrow the concrete floor. After many rows lately we have decided to jump into it (well actually we've had the tiles for 3 yrs!) and do the lounge floor with quarry tiles to match the kitchen. I'm hoping it will really motivate us and boost morale. Either that or we'll be separated by christmas! We took the first boards up last night not sure what we'd find but it is badly done concrete which means we've got to lift that too. As the stairs and front door go off the lounge the house will become unseable so we are moving into a neighbours for a week or so while she is on holiday. We dig out at the weekend and hopefully lay new concrete on Monday. Although I am sure we are doing the right thing I also feel very daunted. Help! Better go DD" is wandering round with a hammer.....

[Marina]

Wow, Katherine, I've been mulling over whether I can be bothered to wash the kitchen floor before Christmas (now where is that domestic slattern thread), I am seriously impressed. Don't leave dh under the floorboards by mistake, will you...
How are the plans for your Winter Solstice party coming along?
KMS, I don't know what to say - we do seem to have more than our share of unexpected pregnancies on this little corner of Mumsnet
I really hope it works out for you OK. If you can squeeze in another, go for it. I am sure your dh will come round, after all it takes two to tango. Hugs, it must be quite a shock.
Wills, how are things for you right now?
We MUST all try and meet up in 2005.

[Katherine]

Well floorboards are out. Skirting is all rotten so good thing we are doing this. Hands very sore bit feeling quite chuffed with myself. Just the concrete & rubble to go............

Marina its not that you are a slattern - its just that I am completely mad What normal person would decide to do this less than 4 weeks before christmas. The children asked when we were getting our tree this morning. One step at a time.....

[KMS]

Thanks guys, Just popped in to say have told DH and he is fine so we are both sort of happy and terrified at the same time!
Marina, Could we be joining the aug 05 thread together!! I am also still B/f and AF all over the place so am not sure of EDD as yet. Suppose I had better go see GP!
I keep flitting from absolute terror to over the moon!!!!