Would you like to be on Mumsnet's research panel? We're especially keen for new parents (and parents-to-be) to join. You can sign up here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive on offer for your views.

November 2012 - The last few first birthdays then we're on to Christmas

(1000 Posts)
StuntNun Wed 20-Nov-13 23:33:11
Zamboni Thu 21-Nov-13 07:04:44

First to place Mark!

Sophiathesnowfairy Thu 21-Nov-13 07:48:23

Helllooooo

PurplePidjin Thu 21-Nov-13 07:50:17

brew

wellieboots Thu 21-Nov-13 07:56:20

Marking place in hope of keeping up with this onegrin

cake

FlouncingIsles Thu 21-Nov-13 09:31:20

biscuit

This man is a twat.

StuntNun Thu 21-Nov-13 09:52:55

Feel your pain Isles. I got kicked last night. hmm I don't really know how to feel about it or what to do about it. It wasn't to hurt me but I thought it was a demeaning thing to do.

PurplePidjin Thu 21-Nov-13 10:03:42

<Isles>

Stunt wtaf?!?!?! He kicked you? Like deliberately? angry

StuntNun Thu 21-Nov-13 10:30:49

Yeah, I may be overreacting as it was meant as a nudge iykwim but it just didn't seem appropriate then or now in hindsight. Basically J had a bad night and would only settle on the breast so after a couple of attempts at putting him in his cot I just kept him in bed with us. We don't normally co sleep because DH pulls the covers right up to his nose so there isn't really room for J. So last night I moved my pillow down the bed so the duvet could go across the bed diagonally so J's head wasn't under the covers. But that meant I was trying to sleep on a tiny space of bed and after four hours I was really uncomfortable. So at 5 a.m. I figured it was only an hour until the alarm went off so I put my dressing gown on and went to sleep on the floor beside the bed - the rest of the house is too cold for me to go and sleep on the sofa. Anyway DH was raging at this so he went and put J in his cot - cue more crying - then came back in and kicked me on the leg and said go back to bed. Maybe 5 a.m. isn't the best time to make decisions but I thought I'd rather have an hour's sleep on the floor than spend an hour awake trying to settle J. So hopefully the full story explains why I'm a bit confused about how to feel. DH doesn't physically abuse me so this was out of character and maybe I'm just being overly sensitive. Otoh maybe it's the start of a slippery slope. I feel a bit down over the incident.

Lily311 Thu 21-Nov-13 10:40:41

Hugs stunt. Not sure what to advise other than pls look after yourself. No one deserves violence. Did he say anything in the morning?

PurplePidjin Thu 21-Nov-13 10:43:32

However it was meant, the important thing is how it made you feel. I'd be incandescent at being squashed all night with no duvet then ordered about with his feet! You were doing the right thing for your child, he was doing the right thing for himself angry dp would get the "don't you ever speak to me like that Ever Again" hissed through clenched teeth (after I'd had a coffee and time to get properly angry get my head together)

J needs to be with you at the moment. Dp either accommodates that or he sleeps on the floor/sofa.

FlouncingIsles Thu 21-Nov-13 10:53:52

Oh stunt I don't know what to say. I can see why you are confused though. Ermm, maybe start a diary or keep a log of things like this. Little things as you say at the moment that, hopefully won't but might, start building into a big thing? Big hugs. And sorry you had a crap night brew

I am just silently raging that he is being so damn nice. But then he's good enough that whenever I start to wibble and worry that maybe I am doing the wrong thing, he does/says something that makes me not so silently rage. Twat twat twat.

ditsygal Thu 21-Nov-13 11:17:24

stunt it sounds like he was trying to do the right thing by you, as in wanted you to get some sleep in bed - but didn't see that you had made the decision based on what would get you the most sleep! I would be annoyed if I were you, and def tell him it is never acceptable to kick you even in a nudge sort of way.

It's lovely hearing what all the babies are doing at the mo. F is walking all of the time now, he very rarely crawls. But we have no words what so ever. He did start babbling about 3 weeks ago though so I am not worried (I was a bit before the babbling started!) as he will get there in his own time and its cute to here him babbling away in his own language! He put a square in the shape sorter yesterday but it was a one off. I actually replaced the fisherprice one we had with a caged one as I got really annoyed with it just becoming a box to put things in rather then a shape sorter!

Sophiathesnowfairy Thu 21-Nov-13 11:31:59

We have an ELC space rocket shape sorter that takes off. He just like pressing the top and hearing "blastoff "

stuntsorry your night was so poo pants. I wonder if what ditsy says is right. He made a thoughtless tired decision and your interpretation was fueled by tiredness. However if he Made you feel like that then it was a snit thing to do. ((Hugs))

Off to my first family session at the childrens centre in a min. Just waiting for the recommissioned bread maker to finish!

Zamboni Thu 21-Nov-13 11:48:40

(((( Stunt )))) Not sure about that. I'd be fucked off if DH did that to me even if it was done with the good intention of ensuring I stayed in bed. You're the best judge of how it really was, but he's been shitty to you before, hasnt he? And YY to pidj - as I am the one seeing to S in the night and having to co-sleep, DH accommodates me by moving elsewhere so I get the best rest possible in the circumstances.

sophia hope it is good and there are some nice people there.

lily well done for getting assignment done.

isles just keep his shit, unforgiveable nonsense in the forefront of your mind.

Exhaust had to be replaced. £200. Not ideal. Added to embarassingly large credit card debt. For someone who specialises in dispensing insolvency advice, you'd think I would have a better grip on my own solvency, wouldnt you? grin Tis pay review tomorrow and I am quietly hopeful after my boss confidentially told me he hoped I would be pleased, and then DD gets her government hours at nursery from April which will help during term time, then we can remortgage in August and hopefully the combined events will improve things. Things are by no means horrendous but we have zero slack for car needing work / unplanned necessary expenditure. Am hoping that these years with 2 in pre-school childcare while still servicing professional development loans will be the most expensive. please do not shake me from this delusion

ditsygal Thu 21-Nov-13 11:58:28

Zamboni you make a good point, to be nice stunt your DH should have got out of bed to let you sleep there too instead of moving your LO.

ditsygal Thu 21-Nov-13 11:59:40

ps. *Zamboni haven't said it yet, love the name change as a ice hockey fan myself (panthers born and bred)

ChasingDaisy Thu 21-Nov-13 12:54:04

Hello new Fred smile

Poor O has another cold, bless him. Tis the season and all that. Doesn't seem to affect him too much apart from a ton of snot and slightly disturbed sleep.

Just had a great driving lesson. Drive home for the first time and used 4th and 5th gear grin

Yep, we have the Fisher Price shape sorter too. I find it handy for collecting up all his small toys at the end of the day grin

Evil, how you doing?

Any birthdays today?

48 hours until date grin

Oops. Smiley overload.

Zamboni Thu 21-Nov-13 12:54:42

ditsy - Nottingham Panthers?! Or Florida Panthers? DH is a Rangers fan but here in the UK we support the Panthers (my DPs live in the midlands, I was born in Nottingham, so we go to games when we can). The DC even have little Panthers jerseys. Nice to have a fellow fan on here. I played field hockey but DH was and is a superb roller-hockey (puck and ball) player. Played for GB in his prime, still dabbles in a local league. Flirted with icehockey and had a trial lined up in the minors in the USA but a severe head injury put paid to that dream. In his head though, he was practically signed to the Rangers, haha.

Cant claim credit for the point I paid - it was pidj's point which I was endorsing grin

ShellyBobbs Thu 21-Nov-13 12:57:04

Blimey, I've been absent on here for so long I don't know who anyone is!

Stunt, hugs.

ChasingDaisy Thu 21-Nov-13 12:58:17

Oh and Stunt, I understand how confused you must feel. It could be the start of a slippery slope, but could also just be a one off error of judgement. Keep a note of it and keep an eye on his behaviour x

PennieLane Thu 21-Nov-13 13:59:08

Hi shelly have wondered how you are!

Can't believe it stunt I would have been incandescent too.

ChasingDaisy Thu 21-Nov-13 14:12:38

Agh I'm trying to fill out my application form for Pointless and I need to say why I stand out in a crowd - any ideas?!

No words of advice Stunt but I think it's a good idea to note down what happens to keep a record just in case. And fab work on the weight loss!

Chasing a smiley overload is fantastic to see from you. Shows just what a good place you are in! grin

So O's referral for allergy skin tests has come through, for her birthday. I know she has no idea but I wasn't hoping to take her to hospital on her very first birthday. I'll make it up to her with lots of cake

And we seem to have discovered that our finger fits right up our nose, and we are practising it lots hmm

This thread is not accepting new messages.