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March 2013 - 6 months down, 210 to go!

(996 Posts)
StormyBrid Mon 16-Sep-13 10:26:50

Old thread.

Keep on rambling, ladies, we have a whole new thread to fill!

Plonkysaurus Sun 17-Nov-13 21:02:13

Bedfordshire...is...on the m1. That's the sum of my knowledge.

Gerry a stone? That's fantastic, well done you. And you were so worried a couple of weeks ago. 18 hour days? Eek!

Eco the Christmas cakes sound lovely, such a nice tradition. Dp and I started discussing the business idea yesterday. It needs a lot of research but ideally it'd mean working 2-3 days a week from home with the odd weekend day.

Leni skipping breakfast is 100% bad, if anything it just slows down your metabolism. Your breakfast when you do have it sounds very healthy though.

My overall aim with food is to lose 20lbs - I was 10 stone pre baby and very happy with my body. Now I'm 11st9 and I hate it. I know it's not massive weightloss but its enough to bug me. I do eat complex carbs though, I just try to limit them as Gerry suggests.

I need to sort my head out about work too. I'm happy to go out to work but its such a headache and I'm paid a pittance for a job that means nothing. Should I be spending this time with DS instead? I don't know.

Sorry for the rambling self pity.

BettyOff Sun 17-Nov-13 22:04:35

Gerry that's amazing! Well done you. Good luck for this week, it'll be done soon and you'll be fine. I know it feels like the end of an era but just remember that at times it felt like this was the hardest thing in the world and that we wouldn't survive the day and now we're more than half a year into having happy healthy babies! If we can survive thus far we can survive anything except perhaps the teenage years

Right I shall no longer be commenting on diets. You are all far more knowledgeable than me. I eat terrible amounts of carbs, bics and other baddies, huge portions and am always a little squishy round the edges or fleshy as DH once said but because I'm a giant I can get away with it. I'm very very lucky in that I have a good relationship with food and generally with body image too and I just need to appreciate my good luck and cheerlead from the sidelines! smile

Eco, so far the ILs are being very well behaved and have just been 'shocked' that a still BFd baby can be that chunky. We'll see what the rest of the week brings!

Madam was up 8 times last night for some unknown reason confused and I did the 4hr drive today so I'm shattered and the bed is calling me. The cot is in our room for the first time in months and the dog has to sleep in there with us too so wish us luck! If she doesn't sleep she's coming into bed with me and then either the dog & DH will have to go into the cot grin or they'll be kipping on the floor!

I hope everyone has a good night! I'm off to Bedfordshire and this is the only version of it I know anything about

I'm no better, the only thing I know about Bedfordshire is Luton airport, so assuming you aren't going to be living under a flight path I'm going to say it's probably ok. It is kind of outer London burbs though, so if you are used to leafy lanes you might be a little disappointed.

I'd like to say I had the worselet's room sorted months before her birth, but I'd be lying. Her room was sorted this weekend blush, and has nothing baby about it aside from her toys. I know, I know.... it's neglect, but in my defence up until a week before she arrived we were still living above the garage as the house was a building site, and since she arrived room sorting has been about as high as leg waxing on my list. The state of my legs, well that's for me to know and DH to weep over.

Gerry wow, a stone, that like a whole worselet and then some! Well done you grin. Good luck everyone else.... I shall use your enthusiasm for getting back to where we were as a kick up the backside to re-start my stomach exercises. The muscles were 3 fingers split, but are now 4, as every time I life anything heavy, like a chunky baby, they tear a bit more. I've a window to try and sort it before admitting defeat and getting them stitched. Wince.

Bf-ing at 8 months is perfectly normal. 8 years I'd be raising eyebrows, but right now, perfectly sane thing to do. Anyone who says otherwise is just annoying. You can tell them that for me.

Good luck for the big day Gerry, hope everything runs smoothly.

Betty another one here with an excessive number of unexplained night wakings to deal with. DH did last night and it nearly broke him. It's my turn tonight, and I'm already a bit scared. Still, the good news is there is a single bed in with the tiddler's cot, so if she monkeys about too much I'll only have a short step to stagger into bed.

Night all

pudtat Sun 17-Nov-13 22:44:23

Hmmm... Bedfordshire.... Nope, it's all been covered. Sorry.grin

Well done on weight loss Gerry. Sounds like a great start. But Leni, I have to agree, your diet sounds pretty frugal already, and I find it hard to imagine that it's not your dp that needs a slap in this case. wink For me, there is a bit of weight to lose (about 5kg I reckon) but mostly it's toning and trying to put things back where I'm sure I left them. smile

Eco, strip wash... I put DS in sposies for the day so I knew I'd done them all. If you're organised you could do it in shifts, but I wanted to blitz it. First wash as normal (I do it at 40 with ecover and sanitiser). Then (no need to dry between washes btw) wash at 30, then twice at 60. All without any washing powder or sanitiser and on longest most rinsed cycle you have. After a few weeks of teething his had a very widdly odour and this has fixed the problem.

Anypants Sun 17-Nov-13 23:02:56

Just chipping in to say good luck gerry but I think you'll be fine.
I did have a chat with DH whilst he was in a relatively open mind kind of mood and has been more assertive while he's been off over the weekend. We'll see if that changes when he's back at work tomorrow.

I have a snotty baby and she cannot get herself off to sleep so it's going to be a long one. I too had multiple wakings a couple of nights ago - not illness related, she just seemed to keep waking up and a quick cuddle seemed to help and she was back asleep within minutes. I suspect wonder week shenanigans if we're all getting it.
Must go, she's SHOUTING again. <sigh>

StormyBrid Mon 18-Nov-13 11:32:19

Nice work on the stone, Gerry. Definitely doing better than me. I manage fine for a week or two and then have a major attack of sandwiches. Keep losing and regaining the same half stone. Most annoying! Bread's definitely a bugger for me in terms of weight loss though. Best avoided, but my dad keeps making me loaves! Having weetabix and banana for breakfast, ham and egg for lunch, fruit or yoghurt for snacks, and meat and vegetables for tea. It works a treat until I get mugged by a sandwich.

So, naps. When did they get so hellish? It just took me an hour and a half to persuade DD to stop screaming blue murder and just go to sleep. Anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

pudtat Mon 18-Nov-13 18:48:27

No help here Stormy. I gather from dh that naps have been a consistent problem for the last 2 weeks. No trick yet found.

StormyBrid Mon 18-Nov-13 18:53:42

Afternoon nap was a total fail too. An hour and a half of screaming. I find myself completely at a loss. Do I go up to her or wait and see if she sorts herself out? Pick her up or try to calm her in the cot? The not knowing what to do for the best is almost as stressful as listening to the screaming.

somethingbeginningwith Mon 18-Nov-13 19:48:44

stormy the past couple of days have been nap-hell here too. He missed his morning naps both weekend days and only had his afternoon ones in the car or pushchair, and then not for long enough. He was screaming in his cot so I just gave him cuddles and got him out. He wasn't sleeping and I didn't want to hear him cry so we just carried on playing. Today, I put a new teddy bear in the cot with him and he cuddled up and went straight to sleep. Not sure if the teddy had anything to do with it but I'll be putting it in with him tomorrow too!

ecofreckle Mon 18-Nov-13 20:14:29

We do pick up put down with Ecobaby in situations like that And depending how much resolve I do or don't have we also abandon cot and walk the streets with the buggy just to ensure some sleep. We've also started leaving her when she wakes after just one sleep cycle, unless she cries, and she has recently been going back to sleep. Good luck. With the naps and the sandwiches. NOw it's winter would soup be a good alternative lunch? Like betty, I bow out of diet chat on grounds of being ignoramous, but surely soup is a great diet food. Filling and just vegetables.
Worse, how was the night in the nursery? I didn't mean to suggest we'd 'thought about a scheme' here! Oh no. We inherited a white box and it's stayed that way bar the bunting which was a product of going overdue by twenty days smile. Is The remedy for the tummy muscles really surgery? How has your first day of reigniting your exercises gone?
Gerry I did a Cross post last night. Great work on your weight loss! How was school? I imagine we won't see much of you Mon to Thursday. Your cast iron plan sounds cast iron but hardcore. Sooner dh gets back the better.
PLonky, nothing like a baby to help you reassess your work goals. I too have been pondering about a total change but it might involve more study so it might have to wait until Ecobaby is at school. Sounds like your df (see what I did there?) IS supportive of you. That's a great starting point.
BEtty how long are you with in laws and How was your menage a quatre? AT my sisters we moved the cot into the dressing room/wardrobe so that our princess and the pea sensitive sleeper didn't wake every time we turned over.
Pud thanks for strip wash info. Sounds comprehensive! I'm signed up and Raring to go. Am missing the sunshine to dry them....
Any so, it's the start of The working week. How has dh been today?
All well our end although no dancing for me tonight as a combination of very heavy and uncomfortable post coil period, a walk in the drizzle and hosting eight other mums and babies today has left me weary. The house was chaos, especially when the babies needed to eat! Pretty much all at the same time. Lentils everywhere! The more advanced movers kindly drew my attention to The places I need to baby-proof.
Thanks for all the bedfordshire info. I'll have you know the great train robbery also took place there. AHem....so we're now thinking rutland and a commute might be better.

pudtat Mon 18-Nov-13 20:21:35

I won't leave him screaming. I go and shhh or even pick up to calm. If after 30mins he's not winding down then I get him up again. We'll do something else for a bit, and then try again. No point giving the cot too many negative connotations and usually he sleeps ok.

Plonkysaurus Mon 18-Nov-13 20:51:37

eco Rutland is gorgeous. Do it!

Naps have diminished somewhat here but our real problem is night time sleep. DS has completely regressed and its driving us bonkers. We're very tempted to try controlled crying because it gets results. Last night he woke at midnight and wouldn't settle so came in with us, then woke from 4-5.30 and was, to be frank, a royal pain in the arse.

Too many tears here. He's awake now and crying, has been for the past 45 minutes. We go in and settle him and he appears to be asleep, but by the time were on the landing he's crying again.

BettyOff Mon 18-Nov-13 21:20:08

Naps are yet another discussion I should have no input in! Madam doesn't nap in the cot and I've never fought for her to too hard. I figure there's no use giving the cot negative feelings just when we're getting the hang of overnight a bit more, pus she'll only be napping for a couple of years and she needs to be able to sleep overnight for a lifetime! Morning naps are in the pram after a romp round the park with the dog, afternoon are usually out and about and if they're missed well then it's a case of trying my best to jolly her along to the next opportunity. I'm very impressed by all these other successfully napping babies!

We survived the night last night Eco! She woke up quite a few times but most of them I managed to shush her back to sleep from my position under the duvet! I'm hoping for the same again tonight but you never know. The dog was a dream but she's been a nightmare today, there's another dog here and she's come into his home, there's lots of children around and it's a high stress environment for her and she's been a bit on edge so she's spent a lot of the day in a room alone with me and very unhappy about it while DH paraded the wee one round the family.

StormyBrid Mon 18-Nov-13 21:27:42

eco we tried pick up put down today. She never got to the point of stopping crying. Talk me through how it's meant to work? The buggy, alas, is not an option. No matter how tired she is she won't sleep in there, or anywhere else except her own cot (which is going to be fun on Christmas Day).

We do ignore her to some degree, and it sometimes works. Like this morning, when she finally fell asleep, she woke up half an hour later. So I went for a cigarette, and by the time I got back she'd gone back to sleep. This current screaming though, there's no chance of her going to sleep, she just gets more and more worked up.

It has been a while since I made soup. Maybe if Fartypants remembers how to nap, I'll get chance to.

I don't think we've got negative associations with the cot. She's happy to play in there, and she spends the entire night in there with no trouble at all. I have two ideas of what may be causing problems. Either she's getting overstimulated and we're not having enough winding down time (possible, but sometimes we just throw her in there with her dummy and off she goes). Or we're missing the sleep window and she's going through tiredness and right out the other side.

On the plus side, it's comforting to know I'm not the only one suffering with naps!

ecofreckle Mon 18-Nov-13 22:00:26

well, I am no pro stormy but you pick up as soon as they cry and hold them. you use some standard words over and over. for example, we say "it's ok, mummy's/daddy's here, it's time to go to sleep, ssshhhhh". you don't rock or sound sorry for them. as soon as they settle (ie stop crying) you place them back. I say "good girl, you can do this on your own, you're ok". as soon as they start again you repeat. I have done it for nigh on an hour in the past, with 40 ir 50 repeats, so it's not an easy option, but it suits us as we don't at this stage fancy cc. what helps most is having an agreed strategy that we stick to, rather than flailing around trying loads of stuff which was confusing our girl I think.

Anypants Mon 18-Nov-13 22:00:51

Well eco, thanks for asking. The answer is not great. He got home just before her dinner time so I gave him 5 mins and then asked if he could play with her while I made her dinner. I got a shouty lecture about what a shitty day he's had and I don't realise that he needs a while to unwind. I countered with 'i've had a shitty day too' as DD has been full if cold and shouting at me all day and I had a small meltdown. He said he may as well move out shock as he doesn't understand what I want. I, calmly told him that I didn't want the earth, simply his help when I ask for it. Cue another tongue lashing about me not letting anyone else look after DD so I can have a break - I pointed out that it was he who needed to let me have a break. We've not resolved anything as DD has literally only just gone to sleep after trying since 7pm and now he's just not really talking to me. Personally, I think his DM screwed him up as she has has 4 husbands, none of whom lasted more than a few years and he's never really had a father so he has no idea what it entails. More to the point, his mother left him on his own from an early age so he has naf all idea what a parent does, other thsn leave their child. These are big issues and I will resolve them. I love him and we're not calling it a day because it's a bit hard at the moment. He finishes wirk earlier tomorrow so maybe he'll be in a better mood.... wine

Anypants Mon 18-Nov-13 22:03:20

Apologies for the spelling - cr*ppy phone angry

pudtat Mon 18-Nov-13 22:12:25

Oh Any that sounds a bit rubbish, but well done you for holding onto the calmer ground and for sticking with it. wine

Gerrythetootallgiraffeswife Mon 18-Nov-13 22:22:09

Oh any, that sounds really tough. I'm hoping someone who is much better with relationship advice than me will be along in a minute. At least you can identify what it is that's causing his uselessness, that's something to work on.

So, I've just called it a day and decided to stop working for the evening. Today was a success, my classes were great, my reputation precedes me ("I've heard she's WELL strict" was whispered by a year 7 outside my classroom). I'm knackered, but happy. Teaching's awesome. But then all the marking/paperwork/general shit hasn't started yet...

I was going to say so much more, but it's definitely bedtime and my brain has stopped working. Night all!

pudtat Mon 18-Nov-13 22:37:13

Yay for surviving first day back Gerry! Bedtime here too. Night night all.

Just a quick wave to all, as this snotty cold has sunk me for the evening and I'm off to bed too.

Gerry - yay, everyone remembers a great teacher. Mine was a Mr Stevenson. Some day some where some 40-somethings will remember a MrsGerry. Glad it went well.

Any sad. My only advice is never stop talking, as I've yet to come across a relationship that has failed from too much communication. Plenty from the opposite...

Stormy it could just be a phase. We had a long stretch of only 2 10-20min naps a day. It nearly broke me. DD is now sleeping much better again, so fingers crossed for you.

Eco Rutland sounds much nicer. Go for it! The nursery is working well, probably because it is much warmer and the cot is no longer in a draught. The poor little worselet has had a rum start to life. We have too many windows and too many door, so practically every corner of the house has its own personal draught. Her new sleeping place however, is unique in its cosiness. As for the stomach exercises, ahem. I'll do them tomorrow. They're like pelvic floor ones. You know you should, but you just can't be ar5ed.

somethingbeginningwith Tue 19-Nov-13 08:07:23

Oh any that sounds rubbish, I can only second the advice about the talking. Even though I'm terrible at following that advice. I'm the type to bite my tongue and keep everything in, then unleash it all in one go. And that isn't advisable. I hope you can work it out soon. Dp and I had a raging row on Saturday and his apology sounded like this: I'm sorry I lost my temper, but you lost yours first. hmm

gerry I'm glad it all went well, hope you can settle back into it all quickly. Although, it sounds like you are anyway. It's less than 2 weeks til I'm back at work now, and I'm not happy about it!

We had a tough night here. For some reason, DS woke at 1am sobbing like he was in distress for over an hour. Checked him all over and he was fine so we went downstairs for cuddles and cartoons on the sofa (as he wouldn't settle in our bed) and he started to get sleepy and close his eyes on my knee. Even though I'd rather it hadn't happened, I did quite like the sleepy cuddles and the sitting still, if just for a little while wink

Plonkysaurus Tue 19-Nov-13 08:25:19

Any that sounds tough. It's a conversation I've had when DS was tiny, but in reverse ('you do sweet fa and I've not slept in weeks, were going to stay with my mum'). Worse gave me the same advice : talk. It has saved our relationship and there's no reason it won't save yours. Well done for being so rational and calm about it. It sounds like an uphill battle, but definitely one worth fighting.

Go Gerry! Whoop! 'Well strict', excellent,

Something apparently this is the time night terrors can start, do you think that could be it? At least you got lovely cuddles. Thanks again for the vest lending. When do got home he decided its better than most of ds's vests anyway and he should do more poonamis when we're out with the Somethings.

Last night was interesting. Our first concerted attempt at controlled crying. DS went down at 7, woke 8.15-9.15, woke 10.30-11 and then slept til 4.30 when he came in with us. This is the most night time sleep he's had since he got d&v 3 weeks ago, so lets hope it continues.

SoYo we never bothered with naps in the cot. They were always in our bed or we were out so in the buggy. However we felt we ought to try recently and it plain didn't work. He got cranky and overtired, so were now wondering if we caused his poor nighttime sleep.

Eco you were so right about the smear-after-baby thing. Barely felt it wizards sleeve blush oh and Rutland is quite close to Something and me. Just sayin'.

intherainbow Tue 19-Nov-13 10:59:25

gerry well done on the weightless and hope your new work regime is going well. I find that once you get in the rhythm the long working days go much better. Thanks for the diet tips! Is there any reason your brother recommends soy milk rather than normal? My main "diet" tool is exercise - minimum 5 mile a day brisk walk with 9kg DD in sling - pretty much does the trick plus doing the couch to 5k program.

The walking sorts the naps out too - DD also not keen on napping in bed or napping generally so we just get her outside to have a short 10-20 minute power naps at least while walking just to recharge her batteries a bit.

eco was it you who was going to join me in a mooncup experiment? I have tried it and was sold from the moment I popped it in and couldn't feel it at all! Absolutely love it - so much more comfy than tampons as well as being better for your body with none of the chemicals tampons are laden with. Plus extremely money saving - lots of treats planned with the shed load I used to spend on sanitary products. I was a bit sceptical in the run up to my period as it just looked big and bulky (even though DD head came out no problem!) but actually once you fold it it is really easy to get in and out and no leaks day or night as yet. It is also no more messy or gross than tampons in terms of contact with blood as lots of people seem to be a bit squeamish about that.

DD is still co-sleeping with us and will be until she actually asks to be in her own bed. It's so lovely to spend the nights all snuggled together and DD seems to have discovered a love of soft things and has suddenly become very cuddly at night. The massive bonus is that we all get great sleep now every night irrespective of how many times she wakes or how much she feeds as we all just stay snuggled under the blankets! We may soon be moving her onto her floor bed in her room (which is set up as a child safe montessori room) for her evening sleep only as I think she might soon be able to move out of her bedside cot which is just open onto our bed and that's quite high off the floor! But she is not that mobile yet so we will wait to change the evening routine until absolutely necessary.

Blimey it's cold out there this afternoon. Just been for a rather more bracing walk than i was expecting, although the upside was the tiddler suddenly decided that fighting to get her arms outside the sling and my coat wasn't such a good idea after all. Usually she devotes most of the walk to escapology practice.

Rainbow if dd is even slightly mobile I'd move her out of the bedside cot. Beds are dangerous. The worselet rolled off ours literally the day she learned how to roll. I really hadn't thought there was any risk at that time... Fortunately she got wedged in the gap between the bed and the cot rather than hitting the floor, so wasn't hurt, but it was a heart in mouth moment.

What's a floor bed? I'm intrigued. It sounds far more cool and on trend than a cot why am I always the last to know about anything!

Big exciting news for the day is I have been given the name of someone really lovely and trustworthy and experienced and all the things you want people to be who does baby sitting.... so I might get a few hours off a week after all. Yay! DH's criteria was someone old and a bit fat like a nice granny hmm. Mine was a bit more PC. This person apparently fulfils all requirements, so all that is left is for me to call her.

Hope everyone is having a good day at work, or home, and that naps are getting back to normal all round.

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