Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.
Dec 2011: Running around after our Cybermidgets...(999 Posts)
Roll up, roll up, it's the Dec 11 new thread.
Prepare to be upgraded (if you can catch them!)
DH wont pay for anything that he/I can do ourselves. He was brought up with very careful parents and we dont have a lot of spare cash. I am struggling to get the lawn cut as F only sleeps for a max of an hour a day so I was looking into seeing if I could get someone to do it - but DH vetoed it. I might just do it anyway - like I did with the window cleaner. I make most of the family decisions too, partly as I am a control freak too air! but partly as DH shows not a lot of interest but he still thinks he can criticise. He has not been to one of DS parents evenings and wouldnt think it important. He has very little idea what F and DS do in terms of clubs/activities/friends etc. He is very self centred. I agree a child shows up the cracks in a relationship and a second child even more.
I find i go thru cycles of wanting dh to leave and being ok to put up with him
I dont mind having dirty windows so no window cleaner, on Sundays i leave dh in livingroom with kids to mow the lawn, and on Saturday i have a lie in and give a things to do lost to dh to do over three days (if he doesnt do an item i leave it and put it back on list next saturday)
Im still training him to fill the dishwasher at night and i let Aaron help him hover, put the clothes away and tidy the toys.
Dh cooks, goes shopping, iron his work clothes and Airs school uniform, get Hopes cream from drs, writes cheques when i give him the invoices, helps save money and takes Air to school and picks him up on Mondays, Sits with Hope when i take air swimming, reads a book to the kids everynight, helps take air to toilet at night and will settle air if he waked at night and takes him down stairs if he is awake when he gets ready for work so i can stay asleep longer.
He is disabled so cant do somethings but he does do what he can.
I still feel the huge responsability for the children and think they are just my responsability as i do 98% of everything with them and dh cant look after them on his own so it is just me but it gets easier and dh is there for emotional support and a sounding board when i need it.
Sorry for the long ramble
Totally fell off the old thread, must.do.better
BJR sorry for husband woes, it's hard to get the power balance right when one is working and you have different expectations. Think you should go ahead and get someone to do the garden, too difficult to do during nap time.
Jiggle fingers crossed for camping, not my cup of tea in this weather!
Figgy am so sorry love, but I'm glad it means you feel better about the decision on when to have another. Also sorry about the bedtime tantrum, they certainly pick their moments!
Oi Glad your DH has got an appointment, and that you're communicating a bit better. Hope your trip is fun, though don't envy you having to go via Ryan Air. DH's bro is a pilot and says that Ryan Air is where pilots end up when no one else will employ them! Doesn't fill you with confidence does it?!
Xiao glad you had a good appointment, and maybe going through it with the midwife in a couple of weeks will help DH come to terms with it finally and make him a bit more confident about this time?
Faffin enjoy the sunshine!
Right, so. Me. We're pretty much just pottering along as usual. DS has also had a language explosion, though not in a 100% good way. DH and I have not been good about watching our language round the baby as Ds can now say, clear as a bell and nice and loud, 'Oh Fuck!' I am mortified. We're ignoring it and hoping he just forgets it if he never hears it again. But yeah, not our finest parenting moment. He's throwing some epic tantrums at the minute as well, and screaming fits over tiny things; it's so frustrating because DH gets really angry about it and shouts or strops himself and wont listen when I point out that that doesn't help at all and that DS is entitled to be upset by things and his feelings aren't any less valid just because he's a baby blah blah blah. Am sick of the sound of my own voice at the minute. I've bought many parenting books, so am hoping if I can convince him to read some, he'll stop being so frustrated and obnoxious. We've had a crap month of sleep as well, don't have a clue what's going on, but we're having night waking every couple of days and he now thinks 5am is get up time. I'm hoping it;s just a phase and we'll move past it soon. It's also been one of those months where we have just spunked money left right and centre. We're getting a new kitchen, and we have been talking about getting a swing for the garden and ended up getting This Beauty and then the car had it's service and MOt, and then a week later started making a hideous noise and some pump or other has died so that's being fixed at the minute. It's all technically within budget (DH is spread sheet obsessed) but yeah, no holiday for us this year!
OH OH OH, I'm also training madly to run the Manc 10k on the 26th, and have taken up netball. So my legs are hurty. Fingers crossed it will help reduce the serious amount of chubb I am carrying at the minute. I can't stop eating chocolate and crap at work!
I always think the same jiggle, that most people would just say LTB if I tell them about DP!
I have thought about idea of cleaner etc air, DP has other ideas. he suggested I leave my job if he takes this new one ...
In honesty i wouldn't mind dropping to two and a half days a week but leaving DS in nursery for 3 days. That way I get half a day to do housework without DS in tow. No way I'm giving up my job though.
Easily I'm surprised you didn't go for this although highly overpriced as you could just use a cat litter tray with cat litter (DD2s preferred sand pit before the cat got put down last month).
I will refrain from joining in about complaining about DH as it would be very long... and I still hope that when I eventually move out from my parents, although I will have to do more work, it will be less stressful overall.
Hello all. Sorry to hear about pesky husbands not pulling their weight.
I am in Cambridge. I just handed in the final hard bound copy of my thesis. I'm all totally done now! Only have to graduate. Woohoo! Thesis looks so good hard bound.
BeeMyBaby I did look at that actually! My lovely daddy is building him a wooden sandpit at the minute. We need one with a wooden lid though as FatCat would just crap in it otherwise.
easily we have got the fort epic coming from there next week - thanks to my parents. It is a joint DS and Freya present. Rather too big for F at the moment but we wanted it to last and we have a set of 3 swings and a sand pit already. Not quite sure where we are going to put it though - our garden is quite large but an odd shape (hence the lawnmowing nightmare!)
Well done mopsy - must be a nice feeling and always good to visit Cambridge!
Am rather shattered atm as we've had a big committee meeting earlier in the week, and now two days of senior interviews = getting up and in to work early. Plus the minor issue of moving house stuff!
I also had the most monumentally bad night with DS on Tuesday- he woke at half 2, settled a bit with me, woke at half three as he'd filled his nappy, stayed awake til 5/5.30 crawling over my head in bed, then woke for the day at six
We didn't even have nights like that when he was a newborn! I thrust him at his father and got another hour in bed...
They're obviously psychically communicating figgy ...again...
Easily, DS throws a wobbler when you try to help him with dinner, or take his spoon when he's finished, or take him out of the bath... Unless they're ultra-placid (like me as a baby apparently ) I think it's par for the course!
Good to hear from you BJR; I definitely think keeping the job is a good idea, and going part time, always keep your options open.
And I'm really sorry to hear that about your DH jiggle; obviously you'd said it wasn't great, but I didn't realise he didn't take much interest in the kids/their activities/parents' evenings etc He'll wonder why in ten years time they don't want to spend any time with him.
Good luck for your appointment Xiao, and hope your DH takes it OK. We've just found out our family friends' birth story was a horror show..induction, two days of labour, couldn't find a heart beat and then a EMCS under GA... Baby a bit sluggish but everyone's alive at least, don't know much more.
I just ate too much three sisters stew for dinner, ooooooofff...but it was so tasty and all covered with cheese, mmm!
Northern you have just described our night with our DS on Tuesday, even to the timings! Although we did manage to get him to sleep from 5.30 to 7.30 so a little bit of a breather at the end. I wonder if there was a full moon on Tuesday or something...hope you can get some sleep now! DS went to sleep tonight an hour earlier than usual so I really hope this doesn't presage another early morning wakeup call.
Your friends' labour sounds v similar to mine (so I'm told), though luckily they monitored DS's heartbeat throughout so the moment it started crashing he was straight out by CS. I really hope she and the baby are ok.
DS still can't use a spoon or fork to feed himself - he can't keep it horizontal to get food into his mouth, or control it to pick food up. DH thinks I'm worrying about nothing - but he's so advanced with everything else it seems a bit odd that he can't do this...? Am I being total perfect first born about this? (serious question)
Trying to catch up on the thread again!
Generally we are still using a grobag for DS, although he's in his warm pj's tonight and a cellular blanket.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow as I've barely seen DS today, I woke him up at 7am and gave him breakfast, got him washed, dressed and changed and he was out the door with DH by 7.35am. I had a driving lesson after work, so DS was asleep when I got home.
Driving lessons are going well overall I think, but I just need to practice practice and practice some more!
We have been looking at some 3 bedroom houses and we are in the process of putting in offers and having them rejected at the moment. Our first offer was £15k lower than the asking price (which has already been reduced by £15k anyway over the last year). I hope it all works out, but I'm trying not to think about it too much as there are so many things that could go wrong.
Northern hope you get a better nights sleep tonight!
Mopsy well done! Enjoy your graduation
Easily good luck on the training! Once you get into the routine I'm sure you won't ache so much!
Xiao your consultant sounds good. I think it must be quite shocking for the men/birth partners especially when things don't go to plan as they don't understand what's happening and they can't do anything to help.
Faffin have fun and enjoy your holidays think of us stuck in rainy England ;)
Sorry to hear about husbands being awkward/not pulling their weight/ being unsupportive etc. I think it's definitely harder to maintain a relationship with children as you've got different priorities and you're more tired etc.
I think DH and I are on the right track now, I do want us to make more effort to go on a date night once a month though!
Good to hear from you <easily> and <BJR>. sorry to hear about general DH-related rubbishness. And well done to mopsy!
Quite normal at this age xiao, as long as they can get finger food down the hatch it doesn't matter. Try an extra large Mr Whippy for practice (and amusing photos for future embarassment)
Workmen have finished apart from the electician who has done a vanishing act and not plugged in the electric shower cable yet. We need to wait a few days for all the sealant to set properly and then ooh yes, piping hot showers will be mine! I plan to celebrate by painting the walls a cheery minty colour and putting up a new bathroom cabinet. Once I stop lazing on the sofa eating mini magnums, anyway
which may take some time .
Tomorrow -ooh the excitement- DH and I are having a swap: he's doing the double school and DS wrangling while I go on an updating course (prior to plan to return to work in September). I'm sure he will be fine....<snigger>
Sorry to hear of so many husband problems. We're in the early weeks exhaustion phase of constantly snapping at each other so I'll refrain from joining in. Doesn't help that DD1 always gets up at 5am, I'm a big jealous of those complaining about odd 5am wake-ups tbh!
aethel your electrician sounds like ours was, hope DH managed the school run ok.
oi I know its a pain that DHs appt is so far away but it should at least show how seriously he is prepared to take it. If all else fails travelling down the day before and a Travelodge (I know but they're cheap) may be the way to go, we've done it before when DS had a 9.30 appt at Great Ormond Street.
Today is DH firs day back at work. I've even managed to get the hoovering done and everything is going alarmingly well, something is bound to go wrong soon. He's on a split shift though and I'm not looking forward to doing bedtime myself.
Im having a bad day
I have a cold and sore throut
The guinepig has dead
Just got call from school as Air has pooed himself and inlaws have gone to pick him up
I just cant cope right now
Air hope your day has improved?!?
Seven hope B is getting on well. We had a 5am wake up this morning and that was after he was. Still. Up at 9.30 last night. He cried until we got up with him and then fell asleep again at 7.45 so we all went back to. Bed until 9.15 of course that means he is now asleep and wont go to bed tonight. Gah!!!!
oh air Hope your day got better after your last post.
Seven I am in awe that you managed to hoover whilst wrangling 3 small kids. I clearly need to work on this whole housework thing!
DS is completely obsessed with bananas at the moment. I have to hide them because if he can see them in the kitchen he won't eat anything else. Today in Tescos he yelled nana at every trolley that went past with some and even tried to lean over and take them from a lady who left her trolley next to him luckily she thought it was funny. Strange child
Oh how funny Xiao, the midgets are obviously plotting against us! I got a better night's sleep, as DP was in with DS again (if one of us has something really important the following day- a big drive or an important meeting- the other goes in with DS and turns the monitor off) but DS woke at 5, so DP thrust him at me at 6! Fair enough...
Sounds like you're in the same place as us Cheung... sort of exciting/grim isn't it? Keep us updated on how it all goes for you.
Hope you have a lovely time aethel, first with the Magnums, then with the swap, and finally with the hot showers- sounds awesome!
Hope things have gotten a bit better air, and the DCs aren't too upset about the Guinea Pig...
Off to my Dad's tomorrow, have commissioned my DStepM to make a cake for DP's birthday
((((((hug))))) air, hope the day got a bit better. Being tired/down always makes things seem more draining too.
Thanks northern. I can confirm that both Creme brulee and summer fruit mini magnums are yummy. And the electrician says he may be able to do his stuff next week (tho I'm meant to be seeing a friend so am hoping he can work around that a little as I don't want to inconvenience her)
The feed shower just needs a day more for the silicone to dry....
The school run worked and I have some respect for the amount I do at home now he's had to do it instead for a day. Result
BJR that is spooky about the bananas. dS has been EXACTLY the same. (he says nananananana and gets through at least one a day, we have to hide them too!!.) The thread babies are conspiring again....
<brews up some decaf in the hope we all get some beauty sleep tonight>
And over here DS is also all about the bananas and we are also hiding them under everything else in the fruit basket!!! We're not paranoid, it really is a conspiracy of nippers...
air hope you are feeling better and can get an early night - tomorrow is another day ((hugs))
I've just had a big cooking and ebay evening as DH is out at a sports soc dinner. Have made: a loaf of bread, marinaded chicken for dinner tomorrow, 10 salmon fishcakes for the freezer for DS, and 25 cheese and black pepper buttons to have with a tiny glass of wine tomorrow night, though if I don't stop eating them there will be none left, they are so good!!
On ebay have bought: 7 short sleeve 18-24month vests, 1 blue jumper from next, 1 grey fleecy hoodie with skulls, both size 2-3 years. I'm trying not to hover over an auction closing in 20 mins for a Frugi hoodie with a walrus on the front. I have decided how much I am willing to pay and bid my maximum and that's IT, no caving in!
And why will I need ...because FIL is coming tomorrow for dinner I am going to be icily polite and distant and every time he addresses me I will look at him expectantly, as in "Is this an apology...? No? Ok I will ignore you again, you sad twerp."
Danny doesn't get bananas they bung him up chronic he loves blueberries, strawberries and mango (also known as all the expensive fruits). We've tried to drop the formula again for his bedtime bottle over last few days and he's constipated again he's alright with 1 bottle and milk in cereal, yogurts etc but no ff at all he can't seemingly digest. Not sure what to do other than keep up the ff but can't do that forever any ideas??
Just got home after seeing Leona Lewis at Bournemouth BIC...excellent set. Now time for sleep.
Arrrrrgh just ran into FIL in town (wasn't supposed to have to see him until evening). Massively awkward - it's clear he thinks it's all just happy families and forgive and forget. Well news flash - forgiveness usually happens after an apology is made by the person who caused the problem in the first place. Grrr I was polite but off hand with him and then left abruptly. Now just need to count the hours until he fucks off again and can pat himself on the back and tell himself he extended an olive branch and it's not his fault if I can't move on (which of course doesn't include any acknowledgement of or apology for his poison pen emails, texts etc)
Oh dear xiao. I feel very annoyed on your behalf
Figgy can you gradually increase milk to formula ratio?
Monkey refused to go back into grobag after the really hot nappy sleeping weather last year, he didn't get that I'd just bought two gorgeous new ones. He sleeps under his duvet, it doesn't stay on for long, then comes under mine which doesn't stay on long either. Winter he wore 2-3 pairs of pjs/sleepsuits.
Monkey obsessed with bananas too, shouts 'bana' as soon as he sees them and will scream my express down until he has it in his hand, he waits and pays for it until demanding to eat it.
What's window cleaning?
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.