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December 2012: Dribbles, giggles and rolls!(1000 Posts)
Thought we should get a new thread before the night shift
Well I'm changing it slightly...only 'fasting' for 24 hours not 36 and (apart from not getting breakfast this morning) am still eating three times a day. Most people just have one meal in 36 hours. I've had more than my five a day so made sure I've got all the nutrients I need and am drinking plenty so should be fine. I've looked into it and the only worry seems to be about the nutrients so I'm just making sure I get all of them. It will probably only last a week anyway
Seconds - sorry I missed your post earlier, don't think I'd refreshed the page . I can see why you are so frustrated. Personally, I don't think it is realistic for every single moment of a 3/6/12 month (or however long you are on ml for) to be absolutely perfect. Just because there are inevitably going to be days that have you tearing your hair out doesn't mean that you don't value your ml or need to rush straight back to work. I think WL hit the nail on the head by querying whether your DH would really want a 24/7 job.
Also sadly I think some men (my DH included) can see things in quite a black and white way eg - "You're not happy at home then go back to work then" when actually you are not saying you're unhappy all of the time, but just want some support when things are tough.
Sorry this is quite rambling, but just wanted to let you know I definitely sympathise!
Thank you all for your sympathy and help. DH came up to the bedroom later in the evening and apologised and we agreed we need to talk about how things are to work during my mat leave and beyond. Eg he needs to recognise that it's not just about me having a lovely time; it's also about being around for Z and also me helping him through the summer (his busiest time) by being around and not back at work. I think he and I sometimes take for granted that we're each communicating well with each other, when sometimes (especially with all the upheaval of a new baby) we're not. ispy you hit the nail on the head about men seeing things in black and white and you're exactly right that it's not as simple as "she's not enjoying the day so best thing is she goes back to work".
DH has also agreed that he is not to use the phrase "well why don't you just go back to work then" as it had become a bit of a broken record whenever something maternity-related wasn't working for me.
Also, whilst looking after Z is very full-on, it is simply not as physically demanding as my old job with its commute, time pressure, dashing around to meetings etc, and there is a lot more time now that I'm sitting rather than dashing around albeit sitting tethered to the sofa by little Z. So from that perspective there is a restful aspect to mat leave that, quite frankly, I think I've earned. I don't see why I shouldn't be allowed to try to improve my time off work so that I actually enjoy it.
Seconds, that sounds tremendously frustrating. I'd be frustrated if my husband said anything like that to me. It sounds as though you're sorting it out though.
Weird night tonight - in her cot for the first time. She's been sleeping ok - this is first wake after df - but she pooed in the middle of her sleepy bedtime feed so it took 30 mins longer to get her down after changing her. And she just pooed again during this feed. V unusual for her, and quite disruptive. Am gong to have to do some walking with her, I think.
Well our glorious night with only one wake up was definitely a obe off! Second wake already...
Dh said tonight that he rather likes waking up in the morning to peer over my shoulder and see ds curled up beside me so at least I don't feel bad about bringing him in with us in the 5am onwards zone when I'm utterly knackered.
seconds I totally agree with your pov. My mother comes once a week to give me a bit of time to do work (am self employed, ) and the break just from holding him, even to work, is hugely appreciated. Us there anyway you can get some support from other family?
Vit d our hv told me as long as the mother's taking a bf supplement like the pregnacare pills, we don't need to give extra until 6 months?
We're just starting to give O bits of cucumber and banana etc. Some thoughtful licking but nothing else. He's only 4 months though so not expecting swallowing.
4 month sleep regression truly underway! Woke at 2 for an hour long chat and play. Now he's hungry but too tired to drink it. My eyes sting!
seconds that is really mean of your DH. As others have said would he want a 24/7 job? I moan occasionally to my DP about how I would love an undisturbed night (he is sometimes away for work and stays in some nice hotels... But apparently he doesn't sleep well because
he is a big softy he misses us) but I don't actually want to be away from DS. <soppy mummy>
I forgot to mention yesterday - we have rolling!! He rolled over twice, back to front, when he was on his front he then moaned because his arm was stuck underneath him hoping he will do it again today so Daddy can see it.
Happy 6th month birthday to Dash, Honey!
utopian my mum lives 5 minutes drive away so I'm very lucky that she can come round and help.but I don't want to impose too much on her life (not least because she's just moved to the area and is trying to sort her house out. When she comes over she is brilliant at helping out. It's more, as I tried to explain to DH, that I need to know when I might be getting a break rather than spending the whole day thinking he's going to help when he's finished and it never transpiring. That's when the frustration builds up, I think. Im sure the solution is at least partly in my hands as I don't want to ask him for help because it doesnt usually result in anything and I hate going through the process of me asking and him saying "later" because it makes me feel like I'm having to force Z onto him, so ill hang on and hang on and then it all gets too much; if I found a way of saying "no, it has to be now" or making him give a time for help that he agrees he'll 100% stick to, that would help. Also, perhaps when my mum next comes over, instead of hanging out in the lounge or garden with her I should go into another room and get on with one of the things I want to do eg some sewing.
We had a good night! I accidentally fell asleep feeding him in bed at 19:30 and we both woke up then at 23:15! Quick feed and back to sleep till 1:30!! Then feed at 2:30, 5:00 (I woke him moving as I was really uncomfy) and up at 6. I feel so much better today for having slept I hope the 6am wake up isn't the new normal though.
I'm not intending on going back to work at all, but do find being home with DS all day hard work. On a good day it's draining and full on, on a bad day where he's a screaming/shouty grumpy baby it's awful. As soon as DH come home from work each day I hand DS over. Just a few minutes not being responsible for him is a wonderful break. Even if I end up cooking or washing up.
Seconds I'm glad you had a chat with your DH. They can be so unhelpful with their suggestions sometimes! My DH tells me to make sure I take a break each day, unfortunately DS doesn't get the memo.
Willyou hope you get a good day today, and maybe a nap.
Honey wow, 6 months! That's gone by quick. Happy half birthday to D.
Utopian I keep getting the urge to give DS bits of things to lick. I guess I could do really.. Does O seem to like it?
Mama did she go back down? Have you been drinking orange or apple juice? I started having a glass of orange every morning with breakfast and DS suddenly started pooing upwards of 5 times a day! Stopped drinking it and he's back to 1/2 poos.
Spotty hope you had no more wake ups? One night it will all just fall into place
though it may not last long.
Hey Stacks - I agree on the full-on-ness of a day. I find it much better when out with friends who have kids, as we all get it and can share the load a bit. Had a picnic yesterday and was out from 9.30am until 5.55pm - got home just in time for her bath! Being on the Victoria line in the middle of peak hour got me a few glares. Stuff 'em.
I'll be going back to work but not until we're back in Australia. Probably start of next year.
No, haven't been drinking juice at all! Since last night she's pooed 4 more times. Highly unusual. She's just gone down for a nap with a pooey nappy - she was so sleepy I thought I'd let her get on with it. She went down OK after her poo at 2am but was up pretty much for good at 5.30am. At least she'll let herself be put down for naps (in her brand new cot!) today.
It's Anzac Day today. I'm a bit homesick. To help I'm eating Anzac biscuits. If you've never had them, make them
if you find the time www.taste.com.au/recipes/21104/anzac+biscuits (Also, taste.com.au is a great recipe site. I use it all the time.)
mamapo DH (Aussie) got up at 5.30 to watch the footy.
I'm still in bed, reading. z didn't wake up till 8.30 (the joy!) and I fed and changed him and we had some cuddles, and he went back to sleep snuggled up against me and is still sleeping. He normally does have a morning nap but not this long. It's prob no bad thing though as my cleaner comes this afternoon which interferes with his usual long afternoon nap.
Seconds, I do not miss the footy. Not one little bit.
Baby C is asleep! In new cot! UNSWADDLED! Took a lot of rocking and help but she made it and has stayed asleep for 20 mins so far. So proud, I'm going to post evidence on FB.
mamapo I think possibly my DH's biggest regret about Z not growing up in Aus is that he won't grow up with the footy
Today I'm having a lovely day with the little mr. He's in a fabulous mood. Done my asda shop and he had old men and ladies cooing over him. I then bundled him into his pram for baby group but the heavens opened and there wasn't time to switch him to the car so we skipped it.
Got the docs this afternoon to hopefully sort out my contraception. The mini pill clearly isn't working for me anymore and I can't take the continual 18 weeks of bleeding any longer!
T is so GRUMPY today. He's driving me nuts. I've just tried him with some calpol, but he really doesn't like it. Shudders, grimacing and crying.. Only got about 2 of the 2.5ml in him, not counting what he spat out. He's tired but won't feed to sleep, he feeds a bit, whines, then screams. He's not eaten or slept much today. I just want 10 minutes
Congrats on the unswaddled cot sleeping! I wish T would sleep in his crib, it's currently pram or bed only.
stacks will T take a dummy? I pop one in Z's mouth as soon as giving him medicine to prevent him spitting it out. I did find though that he turned pretty much overnight from hating calpol to smiling when he got it.
Seconds, he doesn't really like the dummy. He's started chewing it now, rather than just spitting it straight out, but no sucking. The calpol did make him take a bit of food though - I think to get rid of the taste
He's finally settled and fed to sleep. No idea if it was the calpol, seems a bit quick for it to work? Can it be pain causing his grumpiness if he can be distracted? He'll scream in the living room, but quietly watch the washing machine for 5 minutes, then scream at that, but smile at the cats... I'm trying to understand and not just put it to bad behaviour.
I don't really mean "bad" behaviour. I think it's maybe boredom or attention seeking (which is a developmental stage, investigating cause and effect). I just want to know how to deal with it. If he's in pain I don't want to be assuming its not and leaving him suffer.
I'm not sure Stacks but you are not alone. When J screams even if you think he's in agony, he'll stop the second you walk with him. He loves calpol but hates neurofen. When I put that in he spits it out so I let him suck it off my finger.
Is there any difference in his cries than normal?
So I was a super Bad Mum today - I got the baby stuck in the high chair! I only built it yesterday, and today wanted to see whether she could sit up adequately in it to begin weaning in the next couple of weeks. When I tried to lift her out, it just didn't work - I think she was straightening her legs, and then getting her thighs squashed on the safety bar.
It looks like this, for reference -
Image1 Image 2
She properly cried and I felt awful - every time I tried, I just hurt her! I was on the brink of calling the bloody fire brigade. Luckily I realised I could loosen the safety bar (which is tricky as its so new, it's all stiff) and get her out.
Still. Bad mummy. I need to call the company to find out if you're supposed to loosen the bar every time you use it. I cant work it out.
Apart from that - pretty good day. A cranky baby, at times, but we went to the park and she loved lying on her mat and looking at the trees. It's such a pleasure to be able to spend time with her outside.
So where is everyone?
stacks if he's easily distractable I'd sat boredom and/or attention seeking. As you say, it's a developmental stage so nothing to be done other than entertain him or leave him to moan if you've got to do other stuff. I always found with dd1&2 a walk round the garden interested them - spent most pre-bedtimes doing it with dd1, obviously trickier with subsequent babies! As mama says, mine always enjoyed looking at the trees and leaves and moving shadows. T always used to fall straight to sleep in the pram but now gets really excited as we get outside as she loves walking under the trees - it's super cute but she seems to have given up in daytime sleep almost entirely!
stacks he seems to like dribbling on bread and thoughtfully licked a chunk of banana this morning but tbh I think he's more interested in sucking people's fingers
and arms and necks at the moment.
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