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October 2012... PELVIC FLOORS!

(1000 Posts)
Londonmrss Wed 13-Feb-13 16:47:22

And squeeze!

squidkid Sun 17-Feb-13 17:49:21

livvy You sound very fed up. sad
Breastfeeding is (has become) very important to me... but I am a total foodie and the thought of going on such a restrictive diet.... I don't know if I could do it. And I hate expressing.
I think wine is ok too, I have a glass most nights, Jess is happy and thriving

Londonmrss can you call yourself DoYourPelvicFloors
Hope the move went ok?

A weekend of ups and downs here but mostly good in the end. Boyfriend was being pointlessly negative about all the stuff I suggested doing on Friday night. He said he wanted to stay in all weekend and chill out, and I got grumpy because Jess needs stimulating or she gripes. Anyway, I got my way. We went to Ikea yesterday and bought stuff and had lunch there and swung by my brother's on the way home, which was nice until I knocked boiling hot coffee over Jess confused
It was only a splash in the end but she screamed and I felt horrendous. She was fine after a feed (I view milk as the cure for everything)
It shook me up a bit though

Today we went out into the Peaks, boyfriend had been very negative about this as well, claiming Jess was "too young" (for what? to be carried around? idiot)
But it was a marvellous day, gorgeous and still and clear and sunny, 8 or 9 miles around the reservoir and over the high moors and past the dams. Exercise seems to make everything better and we are all in a great mood now. As you cover the miles conversation always seems to turn from bickering to deep and interesting and loving again. Endorphins maybe...
I really do love my life right now. I could have had a kid earlier and I don't think it would have worked out so well, I think I would have missed going out more. This is just the right time for us. I love spending time with her, I love the variety and freedom and ease my life has right now, I love the new challenges and I feel a bit bad because I know so many people on this forum are struggling with stressful situations and are knackered... but I have just been so CHRONICALLY tired and upset and low for so many years, and somehow this just feels like an absolute break to me, this is without a doubt the longest period of sustained happiness and good mental health I've had for years and years.
Jess is being a superstar, I never thought I would have such an amazing little girl.
Would just like to get my body back (getting there; and I do more or less have my fitness back); be able to enjoy sex again; and arrange part time work with the hospital so I stop freaking out about going back in August.

Zara1984 Sun 17-Feb-13 17:49:25

For Yomping and others having bottle battles - just got back from friends whose 5 month old is a serious bottle refuser. He seems to like the Avent trainer sippy cup though (with handles and soft silicon spout!). He holds it with one hand and likes the flat soft sippy bit more than the teats on any bottle.

londonlivvy Sun 17-Feb-13 18:44:53

londonmrss how about CambShield as a name? as in breast shields.
yes, weekends are going to be like this til July 2014. hopefully once he's finished it'll be better. though after I had a rant he did come out for a quick walk with us this afternoon which was nice. You're right too re formula. he isn't telling me I can't, exactly, but I'm feeling guilty.

squid your weekend sounds blissful. v jealous.

squidkid Sun 17-Feb-13 18:57:35

It was lovely livvy, though I am a bit anxious I sound like a nobber now waffling on about being happy - and am not even on the wine yet...

I'm glad you got a quick walk if nothing else.

I know you said you're shattered but I think seeing some mates might be good anyway. Often when I'm too tired for people is actually when I need them most.

Take care, eh.

hufflepuffle Sun 17-Feb-13 20:27:18

Gosh. So behind. And only half caught up. But Yomping have u tasted SMA? Can't blame DD, it is vile! And smells odd.. I tried it yonks ago cos I was fed on it and did me no harm except hating food til I was 18...- and DS refused. At that stage he readily took Aptamil. Until he decided to take none of course, but he's wised up now.

Just worth a mention! They are markedly different.

Am sure lots if babies love SMA btw!

hufflepuffle Sun 17-Feb-13 20:43:33

Livvy I am v v v angry on your behalf. Nobber indeed. I agree with londonnrss but could not have put it so erm, eloquently! Yes, BF is fucking hard at the best if times. But man, the lengths you have gone to with the diet are admirable beyond the point of amazing!! And can he not see that even when you try your damdest (pad Thai in point) you can still eat things that may make her uncomfortable??! Sorry, not a nobber, a twat.

I am sorry for ranting as he is your beloved and obviously he has his positives and you love him dearly and some times we regret vocalising these things to friends cos they over react.............. But as someone who is also starting to reduce feeding for more selfish reasons ( like having to go to wirk( I am hurt on your behalf.

Rant over.

Still catching up..........

hufflepuffle Sun 17-Feb-13 20:57:02

Londonmrss. My only advice, choose a shorter name. The amount of times I can't sign in cos I can't appear to spell Hufflepuffle correctly....... Tho I must say the 'keep me logged in function is now working.

What a boring post........

DS has just had the most hideous noisy breathing them woke screeching! Methinks he had a nightmare????! Bit of tummy rubbing, few sucks on dummy, think he asleep properly.

Sorry to not reply to all. 2 page epic catch up! Thanks for all sympathies and support on erratic sleep. Last night bit better again but longest still only 3.5 hrs. Have had so many unwelcome comments this week of the nature 'give him a bottle, he will sleep all night' and 'that child needs spoonfed'....... Fuck off!! All untrue, lots of evidence to show it, but I do not wish to enter in to conversation so I just uh huh them. Obviously I'm a shite mother who prefers to starve her baby so she can selfishly breastfeed.....

Squid, nice weekend pet. Lovely.

Nice weekend here too mostly due to beautiful spring sunshine. Amazing what sun and walks in fresh air can do for your spirits!!

Londonmrss hope you all settlin in well!!

Must go sleep while DS does.


lisbethsopposite Sun 17-Feb-13 21:57:55

Londonmrs - could you give your new town.mrs? I get confused.

Angelico Sun 17-Feb-13 22:00:10

Wooly gloat away that sounds glorious! grin

Smile it took my boobs about 4 days to up their game but that's because I was determined to express a 5oz bottle each day. It also probably contributed to bean waking like a crazy thing to feed and boost my supply as last 2 nights she has slept right through for first time in donkeys (10-06:00 last night, quick feed, then back to sleep till 11am! shock ) If you start small (maybe 2 ozs?) then gradually raise it you might manage to avoid the night wakings! smile

Yomping am grin at image of you and DD having a raspberry blowing conversation. It happens here too grin

Livvy don't know what to write really. HIBAN pretty much sums it up. I've been a bit of a work widow this weekend as DH is on deadline - but we still got out for a couple of hours today for lunch and a walk. He needs to make time for you and your bean. As for 'synthetic' milk... at that point I would have kicked him in the nads and put his clothes in binbags angry When BFing goes well it's brilliant and convenient and lovely. When it goes badly for whatever reason it is pure stress. In your situation I would have jacked it in long ago. Ignore him.

London you can reinvent yourself!!! grin

Squid your weekend sounds lovely, especially the walking bit on such a lovely day grin You are absolutely right that having a long stretch of time together leads to conversation above and beyond pooey nappies and bickering. It's very precious!

Huffle wasn't the weather totally amazing?! As you can imagine the beach up here was packed and everyone was so happy to see the sun!

DH is hoovering. Bean is asleep, thankfully with white noise on. He is making more noise than I ever thought possible. I am getting twitchy and stabby just listening.

OctoberOctober Sun 17-Feb-13 22:25:54

Livvy has everyone else has said, more eloquently, your DP is being a nobber. You have gone to amazing lengths to bf, if he feels so strongly then tell him to join you on the restricted diet (which sounds a nightmare) and then sit with you for each and every feed. You have done amazingly well given all the issues and it is just not on for him to turn around and insinuate that you are being selfish by introducing formula when there are clearly difficulties. As far as going out for dinner, wouldn't we all like to carry on where we left off on that one pre children, but these things change when you have a baby, not to mention if eating is in itself a test of working out what is allowed. In your situation, I can see that sitting at home eating toast might be preferable! Sorry, none of my business but I get so annoyed at unsupportive partners. angry

On a less ranty note, I had a good day and actually had some time to myself. We all went out together this morning, then I went for a long run in the beautiful sunshine and then to see Midnight's Children at the cinema with a friend. Not cinema weather but had already arranged and didn't want to cancel. Realised it was the longest I have been without DS2 since one meet up at xmas. shock And we are only talking 3 hrs. DP took the boys to the park and made gingerbread men with them (and managed to not wreck the house which was an unexpected bonus). grin

OctoberOctober Sun 17-Feb-13 22:34:49

London I'm sure you'll come up with a good name, just don't stop posting cos you always make me chuckle. grin

smile not sure whether it was to do with ds being on ff that hv was worried about weight, probably an element of it. I can see that on paper it looks 'bad' that he has gone from 60th to 90th percentile but i just don't get that she would ignore that he is really bloody long now and beyond 100th percentile for weight so surely it would be bloody odd if he was still on 60th percentile for weight! Unfortunately I don't know what percentile he was for length at birth as they didn't bother measuring that one. I've since found out that the woman isn't actually a hv anyway, all the drop in clinics are actually staffed by volunteers rather than hv near us and they only refer you the hv beacons of advice if the volunteers think there is something amiss.

Angelico Sun 17-Feb-13 22:41:12

Okay I now have 'the rage' with DH. Asked him to stop making loads of noise as bean asleep. He didn't stop and woke her up. Just settled her again. He comes upstairs and starts crashing about opening and closing cupboards. And when I go 'WTAF are you doing?! Are you trying to wake her again when I have only just settled here?!' he just gives me the hmm look.

Have gone from feeling stabby to feeling murderous!!!

Zara1984 Sun 17-Feb-13 22:50:38

Livvy you are doing great and your DH is being a nobber. As londonmrs says, no tits/vag, no opinion. Tell him he gets a deciding vote when it's his tits. I am so amazed at how well you are doing with this, with the diet etc, massive respect.

I only kept going for a few more days bf (even though I was begging DH to stop) because DH said he had a right to decide how his son was fed, and he wanted his son to be bf. Now DH is very supportive in all other ways and is mostly a perfect husband and father, but later when I was more sane I told him not to ever try that shit on with me again, and that I and I alone get to make the call on feeding issues with our future children. When he asked what gave me the right to do that I said "the one inch tear in either direction sustained by my fanny, mate". Not a peep from him since on the subject. angry

lisbethsopposite Sun 17-Feb-13 23:52:30

zara you divil! grin

smileyhappymummy Mon 18-Feb-13 00:30:25

Aargh baby has high temperature again - woke up to feed and feels warm, thermometer says 38.2. Reminds me so much of when she ended up in hospital. She is snotty and doesn't look too unwell, but still find it scary - too much knowledge is not a pleasant thing!
Think I am going to be sleeping even worse than usual tonight....

smile4me Mon 18-Feb-13 04:16:40

angelico know what you mean about DHs crashing about when bean's are trying to sleep! Last night DH decided to roll our new driveway to smooth it out... at 8pm. This involves driving around on tractor (very noisy) towing roller (5' diameter large tin can full of stones and water). Sounds like someone crashing saucepans together. And he was surprised to find grumpy DW and DD when he came in grin

livvy That really sucks that DF will be totally preoccupied with uni until July next year! He's missing out on so much with DD too. You've done an awesome job getting this far,especially as you're pretty much living on vegetables alone! There's not many men that could cope with that!

zara shock at your DH's comments.... like you didn't want the same thing? Glad you told him what for later on though smile

smile4me Mon 18-Feb-13 04:17:48

How was your DD overnight smiley ?

smileyhappymummy Mon 18-Feb-13 04:39:02

She's still miserable, temperature going up to around 38.7 but not higher so far. Busy keeping an eye on her.
Can't believe I am meant to be going to work all day Tuesday and Friday this week - she will be at home with her daddy but still, what a week it's going to be. I may just fall asleep at the patients.

hufflepuffle Mon 18-Feb-13 05:18:00

Oh Smiley I hope DD is ok. Xx

smileyhappymummy Mon 18-Feb-13 06:28:48

Thanks huffle she is quite snotty so suspect its probably a cold/other viral thing but still scary. She is snoozing on my lap at the moment and feels hot but not quite as much as earlier. Sleep - or lack of - has plumbed new depths tonight - basically none as she is catnapping for 20 mins or so at a time. roll on GP appt this afternoon,I will probably resemble an utterly deranged madwoman by then and hopefully they will take pity on me and do what I want to pacify me. If not I will probably cry!

squidkid Mon 18-Feb-13 07:50:07

smiley really hope DD is ok and that appointment is useful. Will be thinking of you and check back later xxx

Days are getting longer eh. Just been for a run in the light... I think/hope when the spring arrives we will all feel a bit better.

A friend of the family lost her 10 year old daughter in a skiing accident - my mum rang me to tell me last night just before I went to bed. It is actually all over the news too but thankfully not distasteful or anything - my mum said she couldn't bear to look but I read a couple of articles. I didn't know the little girl but I know her mum a bit, from many years back. I am having trouble processing it and don't know what to say. Don't think I can make it to the funeral but will send a card. I have been crying a bit and didn't put Jess in her cot last night, just had her in bed with me. Terrible thing. What on earth can you say. sad sad sad

crazypaving Mon 18-Feb-13 08:31:32

smiley oh you poor thing sad I hope you manage to catch up on some sleep today, and I hope dd is ok. temps tend to go up ON and come down in the morning don't they? hope that's the case. big strong coffee headed your way brew

squid that's just awful. too young and how horrendous for the parents, on a chosen holiday sad losing a child that way is just too much to contemplate.

I too am enjoying the increase in daylight but wondering if we're going to need to get ds1 a groclock to keep him in bed til 7 over the summer. or is there no point, given that ds2 wakes at 5 every day angry

London hope you're not drowning in boxes! good luck with the unpacking!

livvy and zara am completely shock shock shock by your DPs. if my dh said anything like that to me I honestly have no idea what I'd do. they really have no right to insist on any form of feeding.

this is my last week with ds1 doing his 2 days with his childminder as she's off for 4 weeks. all I can say is aaaaaaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhhhhh

smileyhappymummy Mon 18-Feb-13 08:33:26

squid that is terrible, there is nothing that can be said is there? Utterly tragic. I will be giving my little girls an extra cuddle today. Take care of yourself too.

Londonmrss Mon 18-Feb-13 08:47:33

Squid how awful. Since having my baby I've realised what a worst fear is. I didn't have one before and I had know idea how much I would love my daughter, i did not know I was even capable of feeling like that. Her poor mum, she must be broken. Let's take a very unmumsnetty moment to be thankful for our healthy babies.

Zara1984 Mon 18-Feb-13 09:30:00

Squid that's so sad. I have a whole raft of new fears now I've had DS. Latest one (after watching Law and Order the other night) is that he'll be abducted in his pram by a paedophile gang confused

Ok so for those of you that are feeling depressed about jeans/pants etc. I went shopping the other day as I'm miles off fitting my pre-preg stuff yet. Was getting disheartened that all the jeans were low rise muffin-inducing things, until I had a cringeworthy eureka moment. I needed Mum Jeans. blush So I went to M&S and got some stretchy jeans/jeggings. Waist comes to just below my belly button (perfect size for big pants underneath confused). Comfy, pulls in tum. Have had compliments since wearing them that my weight is coming off. Oh the shame. Feel the fear and do it anyway, ladies. I found that M&S and H&M are good hunting ground for new mummy clothes. M&S for the comfort, H&M for some sense of style.

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