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April 2011 - nearly 2, it's still all about you <disclaimer, I might be having a bad day>

(997 Posts)
UnderwaterBasketWeaving Fri 01-Feb-13 18:33:04

grin

Thanks to Frak, thread title queen!

Kittycatcat Mon 18-Feb-13 19:45:07

Thanks as always ladies. Bed time here. Not holding out hope for a has he's only been awake an hour.

JKSLtd Mon 18-Feb-13 20:24:41

Hugs from here too.

Been there, nuff said.

M slept on the way home from the zoo, so was up chatting for ages, think she's gone quiet now <hopeful>

MrsWajs Mon 18-Feb-13 21:48:09

Oh hugs Kitty It's really not easy when you feel that way, just keep talking to us if it helps smile

Fizz The sun was making me happy today too, in fact I got really nostalgic and a little bit emotional about my front doorstep!! I know that's very hmm but whenever it's sunny the sun shines right on to the front of our house and it just brings back lots of happy memories of sitting out there when R was little and also before she was ever around when DP nad I would sit out at night drinking until the sun went down! Gone are the days haha!! I'm now a little sad that we'll have to move house now because of the bean and we won't have anymore front doorstep memories!

Sleep continues to be up the spout here. After Wednesdays terrible night it got worse!! She slept VERY well at my mums on Thursday night (typical) and on Friday I think we had a 6am wake up (reasonable) On saturday night I do not know what happened but she was awake at 2.30, 4.15 (came in with us then) and up for the day at 5.45!!!! DP and I both fell asleep on the sofa at 9pm last night. This morning was 5.15am sad I am struggling tbh, I'm not meant to be surviving on newborn levels of sleep for another 6 months yet!!

Second scan is tomorrow so hopefully will get NT measurements and a firm date this time!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Mon 18-Feb-13 21:50:36

{{kitty}}

Does it help if I tell you that I have repeatedly punched the mattress out of sheer frustration in the early months of ds3? I've also shut myself away in my bedroom for 5 minutes to have a cry while the boys were rampaging downstairs.

Sounds like you need to speak to your dh and you need to be very honest about how you are feeling about everything. No holds barred, totally honest. He needs to understand so he can play his part in helping and being part of the solution.

Kittycatcat Mon 18-Feb-13 22:02:21

It does ilike. I did that earlier!!

Kittycatcat Tue 19-Feb-13 08:05:58

My baby slept through the night grin but he didn't wake for boob. Don't think he gets enough from me now. He had an extra bottle at bed time and that's what's helped I think, that and the baby rice, and sweet potato and carrot!

JKSLtd Tue 19-Feb-13 14:12:58

Yey for sleep!!!

Whoop! That's great Kitty. How are you doing today? smile

I have a dilemma. My ideal job has come up at work, but full time. As much as I hope they would still consider me even if I wanted to work part time, I have been overlooked twice before, when I am more than qualified. It's only a 9 month secondment, but would get me enough experience to open up many more doors and opportunities. B loves the CM and cries when I pick him up, so I'm not apprehensive about that. I'm not sure what it is stopping me, taking that big jump to full time shouldn't scare me, but I think it does. Then I add in us going for number 2 later in the year. Although it would give me mat pay of a full timer if I went off within the secondment. I need to decide so as the closing date is Friday! Dh is inboard, but he's about to be promoted and that will involve him having less flexible hours. Oh I don't know .............. wine

Kittycatcat Tue 19-Feb-13 19:53:11

Oh fizz. I say go for it and worry about the logistics If you get it?
I took a and s to the inlaws and cried when dfil asked how I am! They were v supportive and praised me on how I've coped.

JKSLtd Tue 19-Feb-13 20:00:50

I agree, go for it, you never know what might happen, how things might work out. But you will probably regret it if you don't try.

Kitty - they sounds lovely, I hope they are. Sometimes it's the simplest question that can set you off. A simple 'how are you?' can easily tip you over.

GreenFirefly Tue 19-Feb-13 21:01:09

Fizz, I agree with the others - go for it. Even though I know I probably wouldn't hmm

My turn for a rant.... M has eaten bugger all tonight. Put a dish of noodles in front of her, just like DH and I were having and she immediately picked it up to give it me back. Wouldn't even try it. Then wouldn't eat anything else (had done some pitta bread in preparation for refusal), also refused beans. Ate yogurt as always and that was it really.

And then there's sleep. I'm getting fed up spending most of my afternoon plodding the streets trying to get her off for a nap. It's taking most of an hour now - she still needs it as she'll sleep for 2 hours then, though I don't let her sleep after 4ish so it ends up being just over an hour which probably isn't long enough. And now it's bedtime and we're still trying to get her to sleep now - another 3/4 of an hour so far with her pissing about in the cot wanting cloths and blankets laid over her. How I wish for one of those babies you can kiss, say goodnight to and leave. If we leave before she's asleep she'll howl sad

10 hours (at most) at night really isn't enough at this age is it? (or for me at 35).

It's going to be a bad night - she'll wake hungry and because she refused to go in the sleeping bag she'll probably get cold wriggling from under the duvet.

JKSLtd Tue 19-Feb-13 21:21:34

Well, I don't know your DD so I can't say for sure but...

1) food, chill. she'll eat when she's hungry. All kids seem to go some meals when they don't eat anything really (though she did have the yoghurt and that's probably all she wanted). We wouldn't do it as adults (or would we? how many of us actually eat breakfast?? I know I hardly ever do) but they do as kids. You can worry or you can put the food in front of them, if they say no, shrug and say ok, then. It's taken me 3 DC and a serious-head-against-the-wall DS2 who is as stubborn as a mule + SN in the mix. He spent years only eating certain foods, then all of a sudden rejecting them out of hand. DD"s efforts in comparison are, well, pathetic grin

Also, you mention preparing an alternative ready for her refusal. Don't. If you need to find an alternative, make it bread & butter. Old fashioned but it works for my DC. It's plain if they're fancying something plain/feeling a bit off & boring so not tempting in the future.

2) Sleep. Well, as horrid as it sounds, you need to either a) get tough or b) accept that naptimes may be at an end.....Neither are nice I accept.
I hated when DS1 started dropping his naps. I'm sort of torn with DD. I love my quiet times after lunch but then the freedom of no naps will be lovely too.

Recently DD is resisting falling asleep for naptimes too and can manage a day without a nap, if we're out for e.g. Today she shouted/chatted for ages, went quiet about when I'd prefer her to be getting up & I had to wake her at 4 to avoid bedtime trouble.
I can see we're approaching the end of naps. When that happens I'll move her into a bed which will involve moving furniture & having a clearout - I sort of want that to happen and don't at the same time.

I may have had wine so apologies if a little blunt....smile

GreenFirefly Tue 19-Feb-13 22:22:12

Thanks JKS. I kind of agree with the food thing. I just dread the night time hungry wake up that often follows, though last week when she didn't eat she slept through confused. We're going through a bad sleep patch at the moment anyway so are trying not to make it worse. It's not unknown to have 3am banana at the ready. Beans are the usual fall back so I was suprised when they were declined (don't tend to have bread to hand --as I'd eat too much--). Think she's just testing boundaries.

I really don't think she's ready to drop the nap. She sleeps even worse at night without it (can you see a theme here).

After a big sob chat with DH tonight I'm going to try getting her out for the nap walk earlier tomorrow and see if that helps. Alternatively, I'm considering asking nursery to have her a bit longer and letting her nap there giving me time to get home from work and have lunch before picking her up.

Of course DH and I are extra stressed considering house buying and selling stuff and new baby arrival later in the year. So I probably have blown it all up into something bigger than it really is.

GreenFirefly Tue 19-Feb-13 22:24:04

And don't torture me with wine. I'm abstaining until at least after my scan next week smile

Your PILs sound great Kitty! Mine are, well, less so.

Spoke with dh and I think I'm going to apply. Just need to jzuszh up my cv a bit!

I think I'm coming down with a throat thing. My glands are up and my ear is itchy! Rubbish!

Daisy17 Wed 20-Feb-13 06:56:57

sad Been awake since half 4 ...... Tried to get S back to sleep in our bed which often works but he just couldn't manage it. I was so tired and frustrated that I cried infront of him and got cross which made him all tearful and cross too. I feel like such a failing mess of a mother....

UnderwaterBasketWeaving Wed 20-Feb-13 07:35:46

Morning all.

Dishwasher leaked on the brand new laminate overnight. That's why the fitters have nothing to do with moving appliances and leave it to us monkeys to botch it. It's not too bad. <hopefull>

Fizz: apply! You can always decline later.

Firefly: F is no good at tea time, more often than not he'll refuse tea, have a yoghurt and go to bed. I've taken snacks up before but he'd end up running around after his midnight feast. I've started only offering water and cuddles overnight.
I've got nothing on naps. I really sympathise though, it's precious time. Sometimes he naps, sometimes he doesn't. Everyone's always happier if he does!

Kitty, I saw a friend yesterday at a similar stage to you. Her joy at having her toddler at nursery yesterday was amazing! You're doing so well. x

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Wed 20-Feb-13 08:04:39

Ouch @ 4.30am Daisy. anyone would react like you did, I know I would. Don't bet yourself up about it.

{{kitty}} - if you're anything like me you can't take compliments very well and then someone being nice to you when you are feeling emotionally fragile is enough to make you cry. Your PIL's sound lovely. Do you think they would look after one or both of the boys once a week while you are on ML?

Go for it Fizz, get jzusch'ing!

green whenever I am in a position like you, I sit down and make a plan. I think about how I would like things to be and make sure they are doable. From what you say, your issues are: naps, dinner and nighttime sleep. Tackle one at a time. I find starting off with the easiest first is better for moral! Some ideas that spring to mind are:

Are you serving dinner too late for dd? If they've gone past the point of hunger they'll do the food refuse thing. Maybe try a big lunch then sandwiches about 4.45?

If you don't think that's the problem then she's either not hungry or it's a control thing. A good friend told me this and it has always stuck with me 'young children can only control 2 things. What goes in them and what comes out of them.' What are two of the most talked about topics on the chat boards? Potty training and food ishoos!

Stop offering food in the night. If she knows she can refuse her dinner and still have something to eat in the night, then she'll carry on not eating her dinner. her body will also get used to having something in the night - much like we get used to having breakfast, lunch and dinner.

When you tackle the nighttime sleep. Either take a couple of days holiday either side of a weekend or start on a Friday night so you can rest in the daytime if needs be.

If you tackle it an issue at a time it is more manageable and often the issues are intertwined so they have a positive knock on effect. You'll all get there, it just takes time and a few tears (probably from all of you!)

I think I'll take the boys off to a local farm shop/small holding this morning. I have zero energy which isn't particularly helpful.

Kittycatcat Wed 20-Feb-13 11:00:00

Green-some good advice there. S also sleeps worse if he doesn't nap!
When's your scan? Exciting.

Fizz-eek. Hope you're not feeling too rubbish.

Daisy-ouch. Matchsticks and coffee today!!

Ubw-pants re dishwasher. I can imagine. I feel so guilty cos he's not actually that difficult. Pushing and testing the boundaries like the rest of them.

Ilike-they suggested doing it more ahead of my return to work, and they are having them on 5th for me so I can go and meet a work mate for lunch. I just want to make the most of them before I go back at the start of April.

A slept through the night again. I was down to only feeding boob if he wakes so I have a huge uncomfortable left boob today. I tried feeding him some after his bottle but he wasn't interested. S still wakes most nights. He has a big tooth coming through so I hope it's that and we aren't doomed.
Can't remember if I said we are putting the boys in together tomorrow. I'm going to ask Sam to help me move the crib into his room as he loves helping and it will make him feel involved. (Crib is on wheels). Wish us luck. I'm excited and scared. I get my room back but my last baby is leaving my bedside. The boys will love sharing as they grow but also nights could be awful.

Daisy17 Wed 20-Feb-13 14:39:17

Thanks, guys. Feeling greatly improved after a very tasty pear crumble at school lunch.....

GreenFirefly Wed 20-Feb-13 15:02:28

Anyone care to guess what happened last night? Yep, she slept through confused. Not that I did (damn the 4am toilet trip). And took her out for the nap walk today and she was asleep within 30 minutes, though I did set out earlier. Maybe she gets overtired and takes longer then. She'll probably wolf down fishfingers and beans for tea too.
Anyhow, I'm celebrating with brew and a danish.

ILike thanks for the advice. I don't think we're eating too late for her - it's generally 5.30-6pm after she's woken from her nap at 4 and had a bit of a snack. I'm beginning to think fussy eaters are born, not made as she's always been given what DH and I are having, though she has clear favourites - tomato pasta based things generally. I was just so disappointed at her not even tasting it last night (I realise I sound like my mum).
As for naps - I really should be glad it forces me out for a walk, as it's good exercise. I just feel it's a bit of a bind sometimes.
And nighttime sleep isn't that bad - DH has been making out it is (though he's the one that gets up to her first now) but she generally sleeps through, with an occasional single wake up and she can self settle most of the time as long as we're (DH actually) is sat by the cot. We do need to get bedtime routine back to it's earlier time as it's been creeping later and later.

Daisy, hope you're doing OK - 4.30am - urggh! sad

Kitty, good luck with the boys in together. I think you're doing a fab job coping with two and I'm sure I'll be asking for lots of advice come September.

I've applied! Sounded out CM at pick up and she would have him full time no problem! I think she might almost love him as much as I do! smile

We have several unexplained ouchies! The cm asked me how he did them and i honestly dont know! A big slice across his palm that could be a paper cut from his new book, and a big bruise on his leg. It's about the heigh of the side table in the living room so he could have bumped into that during one of his runs hmm. I'm beginning to think he can't walk anywhere! Only run.

I feel rubbish, feverish and yucky, I'm planning on handing over to dh when he comes in and going to bed.

B has just hurled his dinner across the living room and as I went to get kitchen roll he pulled the lid off his tippy cup and emptied it on the floor too! 10 mins til dh home!

Kittycatcat Wed 20-Feb-13 17:59:22

Oh god. Not what you need when you feel like poo.

I am going round my mates tonight. He's cooking spag Bol and I'm hoping we will watch the Michael mac DVD I bought him for his birthday.

UnderwaterBasketWeaving Wed 20-Feb-13 22:18:41

Blimey, Fizz! How can he get the top off the cup. I hate those things, I always soak myself putting the lid on/off.

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