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Sept '08 - The one where they go out into the big bad world (well school!)

(550 Posts)
ninja Tue 29-Jan-13 12:54:25

Hi, couldn't find a new thread and there was only one message to link to one.

Hope I haven't stepped on anyones toes creating this!

meglet Wed 01-May-13 07:42:09

So sorry mrsA. Despite her shortcomings she was your mum so you're bound to feel shell-shocked sad. There isn't a definitive way to feel when someone passes away, however you feel is how you need to feel. Have you got the week off work?

So sorry MrsA to hear of your mum's death, I hope you're able to take time off to grieve and space to breath as you process it. I hope you are able to say goodbye in a way that is helpful to you.
<hugs>

Debs75 Wed 01-May-13 22:40:33

Sorry to hear about your mum MRSA You must be very shocked at her sudden death. Meglet is right there is no 'proper' way to feel, just how you feel and that will change as you digest the news. <hugs>

notcitrus Fri 03-May-13 09:01:11

Sorry about your mother, MrsA. Must be a huge shock.

meglet Sat 04-May-13 18:20:15

How are you getting on this weekend mrsA?

We're having a quiet Bank Hols weekend, trying to get lots of fresh air but letting the kids wind down a bit too.

Hi all. Thanks for kind words. I've had more support here and on fb than my mum ever showed me.

Doing OK. Nothing has changed on a practical level so life goes on. i feel bursts of sadness but more that I never had a mother that I needed - she just couldn't be the mum and grandmum we wanted and needed. i do have some good memories but also some awful ones and once we were grown, she really washed her hands of us.

Her cremation is taking place in Rugby, as her ex is feeling guilty enough to arrange it and she did have quite a few friends down there. Her ashes will come back to us though and we will put her and my dad together with a memorial. We have to get down there with the kids, which won't be easy but my sister is adamant we should all be there and I agree.

We haven't discussed the will but it seems from mn threads that it won't be possible to change the will and if it unfair, it is tough. It is galling that ex will benefit from her assets after stomping on her heart so badly, especially assets she inherited from my dad/grandma. He may agree to give them up to us but it is down to him. I nagged her to change her will for this very reason but she was too depressed to get round to it.

I've been given 2 weeks off by work, which helps. This weekend is a quiet one. DD has started ballet lessons and we are off to a big park tomorrow. Spain beckons in 6 weeks though smile

Carrie how is the growing bean?

Meglet Do you know what you can do if it is impossible for DD to have a staggered start to Reception? I'm not sure what our school does but apart from maybe one or two days, I need DD to go full days from the outset, just don't have the childcare in place to cope.

Badvoc thank you for the lovely words about Merlin - appreciated smile

DD behaviour still poor but occasionally improving. DP's temper has not - he gets very impatient with her and that makes her worse. My way seems to work better, but he thinks I'm too soft.

ninja Sun 05-May-13 23:23:20

Well, I'm now the mother of a 10 year old shock

meglet Mon 06-May-13 07:57:53

mrsA I'm not sure how you could persuade a school to change a child to full days from the start. DD has short week, then a full week of half days then it's full days after that. Some schools round here do a month of half days, which totally buggers it up for ex-nursery parents. Maybe you could ask around for a childminder for those afternoons, I think certain childminders cover certain schools?

ninja double figures! What did you all get up to?

MrsA sounds likes you're doing brilliantly and have an excellent attitude that will get your family through this tough time. That is rotten about the will. I hope the sunshine and quality time with your immediate family are able to help you smile despite the bigger picture.

We had a great bank holiday, our annual weekend away with our best friends from uni who live the other end of the country to us. This time we met up in Derbyshire, and all got very sunburnt. Fab holiday cottage with hot tub in the garden, going to book the same place for next year! Unfortunately when we went to pick up our new Ford Galaxy from the dealership on Friday, it was in a terrible state. Mouldy throughout including the seat belts and fabric armrests, and a scratch on the bumper which when DH investigated, found the whole bumper and light cluster were loose shock. So we didn't buy it, and at the last minute had to hire a car for a weekend away...but all we could get was a Vaxhuall Corsa!! At least it was cheap, and DS2 managed remarkably well without his buggy for three days hmm

We've found another galaxy on autotrader, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

ninja Happy Birthday to your DD1!

Badvoc Tue 07-May-13 16:00:05

Mrsa.
I hope that whatever happens you get to grieve for your mum the way you need to.
I am not sure what your Dds school so but Toby's only does 2 half days then its full time.
Could you have a word with the school and ask what their policy is?
Could she do part time at school and part time at nursery for a week (or however long it is)
Ds1 has gone away today for 4 days with school. I am bereft sad smile

Badvoc Tue 07-May-13 16:00:37

Carrie...you have been in my neck of the woods then!
Lovely weekend wasnt it? smile

ninja Wed 08-May-13 08:59:01

DD1 had a sleepover at her Dad's with 5 friends hmm, a BBQ and they went to the cinema in the morning. He was actually quite amiable with me the first day but back to being his twattish self the second.

He also told me that he'd told all the parents that we'd drop off, then got mad at me for replying to their messages saying they were at his house and where was he? (and that they'd tried his phone and there was no answer).

Then when I took one child the half hour home only to find her Mum was nearly at his angry, somehow it was all my fault ...

Anyway she had a good birthday but is knackered now as he dragged her off to an adult BBQ as soon as the guests had left and wouldn't let them leave until 10 - this was Monday night before school.

Badvoc we're camping in Derbyshire next weekend, near Ashbourne I think smile. I hope the weather is good. I'm really excited.

Badvoc Wed 08-May-13 09:39:21

Ugh. He is such a twatbadger angry
Ashbourne is lovely smile

Debs75 Wed 08-May-13 21:10:33

Hope you all had a lovely bank holiday.

Robyn had an inflatable birthday party on Saturday which was fun then I had a long afternoon/evening at the pub with my best friend who has moved away, she came back for her leaving do. It was great fun we were sat outside most of the day getting steadily drunk and laughing at the huge amount or star trek and star wars nerds who got dressed up. I even took my nephew out for a drink which made me feel ancient. We then went to the local alternative nightclub and got even more drunk and had so much fun. My feet ached so much that night and I couldn't sleep they were throbbing so much.
I will miss her soo much but she is only an hour away so we will see her lots I hope.

On Monday we took the girls to the beach and made sandcastles, paddled in the icy sea, had ice cream and Chinese for tea. We wanted fish and chips but we left it too late and all the chippies were shut.

Starting to wonder about Robyn's starting days now. We haven't heard anything more from the school apart from she has a place so we have no idea when she will actually start. I am planning on popping in as I want to see about uniform

meglet Wed 08-May-13 22:27:40

debs "getting steadily drunk" envy grin.

ninja Wed 08-May-13 22:54:34

Debs looks fun from the pictures!

Phew! Just checked school starts and the law changed last year www.mumsnet.com/Talk/primary/1750850-Half-days-for-the-first-month-of-school
I thought it did - means the school has to offer ft place from start. I have arranged to work locally for the first week so i can pick her up and take her to school for the first week and then she'll go to breakfast and after school club 4 days a week.

Not sure if it's different in Wales (some mnetters were talking about teachers doing home visits??! my teacher friend does not do that here) but some schools seem to have staggered starts yet DD's friend who turned 4 on 29 august and started reception on 3 sept, went ft from day 1. She's been fine.

Expecting a letter from school soon, but as DD will turn 5 on 17 sept and has been in nursery 8.30am to 5pm 4 days a week since forever, she needs to go ft to school from the start. Plus, I am simply not going to pay £15 a day for up to a month with a childminder I haven't got time to find and visit and settle DD in with, as she finishes nursery on 22 august. That's even if i could find a cm at short notice.

There are quite a few threads from what I can see with people aghast at how schools don't seem to appreciate many families have working parents!

Badvoc Thu 09-May-13 11:33:49

That's good.
Toby's school do offer half time for a week but I dont think we will take them up on it. Don't see the point. Like your dd Toby will be 5 on 25th and I ready I think.
I have never heard of schools doing half time for a month!

meglet Thu 09-May-13 13:20:26

That's better news MrsA. A month of half-days would be a logistical nightmare!

I'm itching to know what teacher DD will get, we don't find out until the middle of June. She will start on her birthday and be having an all class party that weekend so I've got to grab as many parents as I can when we have our pre-visits in July (yes, I know I need my head looking at).

Badvoc Thu 09-May-13 13:32:55

Apparently according to the reception teacher who I chatted to this morning there are only 18 dc "on the books" so to speak for sept which is a big change from last year which was 30!
Apparently the other primary school is the same so maybe it was a low birth rate year?
Am pleased, really. The pre school Toby goes to is small so he would struggle in a massive class I think.
We find out what tutor ds1 has next month at high school <wibble>

We haven't had any info through from school yet, but there's a meeting at playgroup in a week's time about transition to school - didn't have that for DD as she wasn't at the feeder playgroup, just waited to get letter from school about info evening and taster days.

We don't get home visits here, but best friend's school a mile down the road do do them (delays school start by a fair few weeks while they do the visits!). Our school does a staggered start in that the oldest 15 start on the first day of term, and the younger 15 come just two days later. Everyone is automatically given full time, but you can opt out and go for part time/deferred place if you want.

meglet thank you for the birthday party reminder. DS1's birthday isn't until the 25th, but baby is due on the 22nd, so we need to hit the ground running with a party in the first week of term. I guess I'll just invite all his playgroup chums that have gone on to the same school?!

Today has been a long day. Tomorrow I'm anticipating being better, going to one soft play for toddler time in the morning, and a different one after school which also does a meal deal. For me this means a lot of coffee and catching up with mummy friends grin

And in theory we'll be collecting our new car at lunchtime, but I'll believe that when i see it, the dealership have been soooooooo rubbish.

Badvoc Thu 09-May-13 21:15:44

Oh, I forgot our dc shared a bday carrie! smile

Debs75 Fri 10-May-13 21:25:58

We never had half days at the start of term when DD1 was little. In fact we had just moved so we went to the school asked if there was a place and she went the next week. DS didn't do half days as the transport was too difficult to sort so they offered a 2 or 3 day week for a while if the dc was starting at 3. DS was almost 5 so we went with ft.

We have been a bit sneaky with bday parties and am doing a joint one for Robyn and Lucy during the summer holidays. The local soft play is doing a good deal so they will be taking their nursery friends.

meglet Sat 11-May-13 22:13:56

carrie I'm losing track of your DC's now <<doh>>. I'm thinking you've only just had a baby, let alone having the next one in Sept!

I'm trying to blitz some reading and writing practice with DS this weekend. We've been a bit slack on reading lately so I'm determined he'll finish his book this weekend. He also needs to do some handwriting practice, the teacher said he's getting a bit too 'creative' with his letter formation so we've got to rein it in a bit. I suppose he could grow up to be a doctor hmm.

Meglet the worrying thing is when I lose track! DD is 6, DS1 is 4.5 (obviously...) and DS2 is an astounding 20 months!
If you find a way to make handwriting practice fun then do let us know the secret!
We do finally own a new car, hooray! It was not without incident, and I expect to be taking it back for them to replace the brake pads since they told us on the phone that was one of the jobs they were doing in their workshop, but the MOT certificate shows its just an advisory note and they were never actually done. Cowboys.
The company was Quicks by the way, nothing like a bit of anti-recommending them to get my own back ;)

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