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Still brooking no argument whatsoever that these babies are happy, healthy and awesome for 2013 too.

(1000 Posts)
jaggythistle Wed 26-Dec-12 20:46:08

eh. attempt at new thread. yo.

Childcare costs in Italy are much better (I'm paying €400 a month for 25 hours a week - ie 3 days ish) because the ratios are lower so less staff. I thought this would be a real issue for me for A at nursery. It isnt at all, the nursery is amazing and I am more than happy with staff and ratios.

dd1's school however - ratios a BIG issue imo. A teacher plus assistant and 12 3 year olds = recipe for disaster. The teacher is a bit shouty and does time outs and things I have discovered through dd1's role play playing. I am so not sure about the school but dd1 seems happy and I think an Italian pre school might scare her.

Work a bit grim here - my dad and dh not getting on. MEN!

Sympathies to all ill and af/non af sufferers.

Apologies for me me me.

Hope all good with dream and return to work!

Ninja, snap on childcare costs! Little A's nursery is exactly the same, although we're so near each other I guess it's obvious the nurseries will cost the same. Little A's one day a week is costing something over £300 per month, and it increases by the same amount for each additional day. I'm hoping she'll only need to go 2 days a week when I'm back at work, with my Mum and DH taking a day each.

Pomme so glad you like DD2's nursery, how frustrating about DD1's school though. Fwiw I think I'd do the same as you, and keep her in the school if she's happy. After all the Italian preschool could have all the same problems with the added stress of a different language. It's a tough choice for you though, I hope it resolves itself.

So sorry to hear about poorly No Brookers and mini No Brookers. Little A and I are firmly back in the sickroom. We're both v unwell at the moment, which particularly sucks because LO has nursery tom and I have a sedation dental appt. I'm not sure if they can do the sedation if I can't breathe through my nose, which might be a moot point if nursery won't take little A, because then we haven't arranged childcare. Btw little A caught this latest bug from an extra settling in session at nursery on Tues, so I have zero guilt about sending her back to nursery with it, so long as she's not unhappy.

How is Dream getting on? Also, Too, Raaboo, Jaggy, now that you've been back at work for a while how is it going? Have you settled into a groove? Are you managing to balance everything?

Boo to AF for returning to some and taunting others! I'm so broody right now that every month when I see ewcm I think crazy thoughts!! Mustn't succumb to the crazy hormones though, I have to have faith that Mr Right is out there (and that I won't screw up TWICE) so little A will have a sibling before too too long. Sigh.

Also, good luck to Musical getting through all your work with so many visitors! I share your worries about giving little A too much medicine over a period of time by the way. I record every dose I give her on my phone (to make sure I'm spacing out the doses correctly and not going over the 24 hour limits) and I use my records to make sure I don't go over the 3 day limit. So far I've been able to stick to less than 3 days of medicine, and at least 3 days between bouts (despite weekly colds from nursery!). It's nerve-wracking though!

p.s. Whilst feeling particularly sorry for myself a few days ago I indulged in some retail therapy, buying a bag that was way more expensive than my usual £20 from a local shop. In fact I'm a total scrooge about paying for bags so I've never had a treat like this before. It was delivered today and I'm in love!! grin A bright red satchel from the Cambridge Satchel Company, big enough to hold my laptop as if I ever take my laptop out of the house now that I have my Nexus 7 It's so bright and shiny and beautifully matches the new red Maclaren XLR we got for little A. gringringrin I'm such a sucker for bright red things! It's just the only thing that's made me smile it quite a long time!

TooExtraImmatureCheddar Thu 31-Jan-13 17:56:36

Ooooh, I love the Cambridge Satchel Co bags, Scream! Not that I have one, I just drool over them in magazines. And grin at matching your bag to your buggy. Brooking hard that you and little A recover quickly, although I'm not sure going to the dentist is something to aspire to.

Jaggy, hope the rest of your day passed quickly.

Ninja, Ebaying stuff????? How do you stand the excitement? grin

Musical, hope you feel calmer now! Your duck analogy made me giggle.

Of course I didn't get a doctor's appt, why would I be able to make a doctor's appt? I think I'm just difficult - it must be my fault. I wanted an emergency appt for tomorrow because I don't have transport today. DH is off tomorrow, though, so I can have the car. Apparently even though they have emergency sessions every day at 11.30 and then again at 4.30, you have to phone on the day to book one. <head explodes with rage> I said 'oh for God's sake, every time I phone I get told I can't make an appt and I'll have to phone back another day' and the woman just ignored me and reiterated that I could have an appt today if I wanted one. They must get so many repeat calls wasting their time because it's all so bloody complicated! If they would just book the bloody appts when people ring I bet they could halve their admin staff. This sort of thing winds me up because it's my job to fix broken processes so that they deliver what the customer wants and this is a classic example of not listening to the customer. I bet their number one request is 'I want to make an appt' and their response is 'no, sorry, phone back between 8.30 and 9.30 in 3 days' time'. The mind boggles.

Pomme, glad A's nursery is working out so well. Hope DD1's pre-school shakes down a bit and that she's happy there. And grr to your dad and DH! MEN! <sniffs and tosses head>

I am a bit miserable. Stupid diarrhoea bug, stupid cold, stupid nurse saying I could only eat bread and eggs. Stupid DH being really dismissive when I rang him for a moan. Mum and stepdad are meant to be coming to stay tomorrow and the house is a bit grotty and anyway, I'm ill, but they miss M so much now they live in Aberdeen and it would be great to have them around to play with her, so I don't want to cancel them. And I changed the sheets yesterday only for the dog to come in from his walk today and leap on the bed with black muddy paws, grr! DH and M will be home soon and I haven't got the energy to do anything.

jaggythistle Fri 01-Feb-13 10:11:38

Work is not too bad scream, I'm just feeling a bit worn out
and like I never have enough time for anything. I'm not quite in a groove yet as I work 3 different shift times so have to figure each one out. This 6 am one is definitely hardest!grin

I've booked a few days off to coincide with DS1's nursery being on holiday and in service days so am looking forward to that.

Got to finish my break and go back to work now, d will try to do a less me me me catch up later! smile

Stacks Sat 02-Feb-13 09:25:15

I'm a stressed Brooker. Lots of family stuff going on just now, including imminent heart surgery for my Dad. He lives in London in an incredibly messy and dirty house. I've spent the last week trying to convince DH we should go down and help him tidy a room (at least) so he has a place to recover after his surgery. It's not a great environment to take little T into at only 7 weeks, but he doesn't need to come into contact with anything dirty.. He'll sleep in his pram or be in our arms - right? I'm not putting him at risk?
Next stess - my little brother is having a baby. However he and his girlfriend both have learning disabilities. Social services are involved, and I hope will support then as parents. However, if they want to take the baby into care I'm not sure what to do. If you were in my shoes would you let your baby nephew go into care, or would you step in and take on the baby yourself? DH is dead against taking in the baby, and I know it's a MASSIVE commitment. But still...

Scream I'm glad some deserved retail therapy has made you smile. When u separated from my ex I bought two kittens. They gave me something to smile about. Changing how you think about things after seperation takes a little while, but soon you'll realise you've done it.

Jaggy I hope you start to feel more settled into work soon. I can't imagine shift work with a baby, must be really hard to get into a routine. I'm feeling much better recently for finding a routine that works for us. It's very simple - when T falls asleep after his evening feed (after 9) I give him to DH on the sofa and go to bed. DH promises to give me at least an hour. It's great smile

Too our doctor is like yours. Really really annoys me. They've got a little better recently, by making 10% of appointments pre book able, but they all get hooked up really quick so it doesn't really help.

Waves to everyone else, T is awake so I'm out of time.

Loopyhasanotherbean Sat 02-Feb-13 20:39:08

Just a quick reply, stacks when is the baby due? What will be the age gap between your T and your nephew?

Stacks Sat 02-Feb-13 21:03:35

She's in early stage labour now, hence all the worries coming back up. So would be a 2m age gap. My dad has been round there today decorating (one of social services 'must do' items) and bought them some nappies. They have a crib and some clothes, but no baby monitor - dad assumed social services would provide one, but apparently my brother has to buy it. As they're both deaf it'll have to be a special one with vibrate alert.

I should get less stressed once 'what if' gives way to reality. It's just so hard not to worry.

Stacks do you think your brother and his GF will be offered lots of support from relatives if the baby lives with them? Hopefully if social services see they have enough help they'll support them in bringing the baby up themselves. It must be so hard for you, I know I would worry terribly too. On the one hand I can completely understand your DH's reluctance. You're both still new parents and your own DS will be his priority. Plus if the baby does end up with you what's to stop your brother and his GF from going on and having another if they know it will be cared for by family? Would you be able to take in another too? On the other hand, like you I don't think I could bear to see any relative of mine or DH's go into care, particularly a niece or nephew. I think the guilt would be too much. I really hope it doesn't come to you having to make that decision and that SS are able to help in a way so that the baby is safe to live with your brother.

Re your Dad. I'm going to sound hard now...but, there is no way I would take a 7 week old baby to stay in a filthy house. And I say that as someone who is not bothered about a bit of untidyness or dust. But dirt? No way. Is there anyone else that could help him instead? I'm guessing it means you staying over at least one night because of distance? Presumably if your Dad is currently decorating your brother's house he is capable of doing a bit of cleaning and tidying if he wanted to? If it's a case of him not being bothered then really I wouldn't be offering to help, especially if it meant having to take a tiny baby with me who still has a fragile immune system.

I'll be back for a proper catch up later. Thinking of you Stacks.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar Sun 03-Feb-13 19:34:17

Gosh, Stacks, that's a hard one. I would want to take the baby, but like you say it is a massive commitment and I'd have to think it through a lot. I suppose it's all the things like money and support and what effect it would have on going back to work and all sorts of things. Is the baby likely to be deaf too? I hope I'm not being offensive, but the baby's state of health would be something to take into consideration also. I hope ss help your brother and gf keep the baby themselves.

I'm not sure you can honestly do that much cleaning for your dad with a 7 week bf baby in tow. Babies just take up so much attention! I think it's a lovely thing to want to do, though. Besides, does your dad have hoarder tendencies? He might not be happy with you moving/chucking stuff if so (according to a programme I saw, which might be completely off the wall, so feel free to ignore me).

Loopyhasanotherbean Sun 03-Feb-13 20:44:25

Stacks whilst I admire your concern, there is no way I could cope with a 7 week old, plus a newborn too. Especially as you are bf'ing T which can be so time consuming which is good for bonding, but stressful if there is another baby screaming in the background. I find it hard enough bf'ing ds2 with a 27 month old in the background, and ds1 is generally not hungry and is old enough to understand that I have to give milk to his brother! If it were me, I know I would always put T first as he would be mine. I think if I were in your shoes I would hope they get enough support from social services and their families for it not to be an issue. If it becomes an issue, then I'd think foster care might be best, and if there is no hope of them keeping him, then look at the option of adoption when he is say 12 months or older, when it might be a bit easier to cope with two, but then financially could you cope with two? Would you be able to return to work or not or would childcare costs be too much? Or do you not want to go back to work anyhow? Is there anyone in either side of their families who could take him in who doesn't have a newborn of their on to cope with already?

Loopyhasanotherbean Sun 03-Feb-13 20:49:52

I guess what I was trying to say is, that your first child is so special and you only get that time once, and it can be hard work but so rewarding, and that experience could be jeopardised if you had another newborn thrown into the mix, and I might sound harsh but I think I'd end up resenting the nephew for spoiling the time with my own first born, for making it very hard work and for taking away the enjoyment of it all. Maybe speak to some people on the multiple birth threads for an insight into what their lives are like dealing with 2 young babies?

Seriously stacks, as you know I have my dts, and I adore them, but its so f*cking hard, so different to one baby, and there are so many things you can't do (with 3 under 2 as we had at least) -like swimming, baby massage, comforting them when they're both ill, wearing them in a sling if the other is screaming too- and I've found i can carry the other one with one in a sling, but it's awkward and not for long iykwim. My dts cry a lot more than I ever left DD to cry, even if my dad or someone has taken DD outside, or for a swim (as I can't sad ) or something, and I'd struggle to not feel a bit resentful my pfb got sidelined so much for my nephew. It will be a bit like having twins. It is very different, and will only get better as they grow p, quite a bit

^ that sounds really negative, and it is, because I'm feeling exhausted and down about things atm. But that is the reality of it. We are still in illnes, not sleeping, constant crying. As soon as you pick one up to comfort, the other howls even more. DH and I have struggled this weekend, we really have and thats with 2 adults, 2 babies 10 months tomorrow and one toddler, near;y 29 months but she's been very good this weekend.

I loved loved loved being with DD as a baby. Hence getting pg again now, when she was 10 months! I am in various twin support groups online, the similar theme being that its hard, and singleton parents can't 'get' it til they've live it, and NO, having a 12 month age gap IS NOT LIKE HAVING TWINS!!!! (you won''t believe how many people think they have had the same experience, but withou having had twins hmm

Sorry, see how horrible I am? That's why I'm not posting ladies....

My only positive is, new nanny has done a couple of days for us and she's fantastic, really great.

Stacks I just wanted to pop in a offer some (((hugs))) and support. It sounds like you're in such a tough situation! It's a testament to how lovely and selfless you are that you want to do these incredible things for your family, even when you have a 7 week old newborn at home.

I have never been in a situation that is comparable to where you are now, so I don't feel qualified to give any reliable advice. Fwiw (very little) my gut feeling on the Dad front is that I would want my DH to look after the LO for even just an afternoon, so I could clear a clean space for my Dad. In reality though that depends on so many things, like if little T will take ebm from a bottle, and I think Too has a really good point about the underlying reason for the mess - if your Dad does have compulsive tendencies then he might not actually want you to clear anything. (Please don't think I'm presuming to judge what your Dad is like, I'm just speculating about general possibilities.)

When it comes to your nephew my instinctive response is that I would do just about anything to keep a close relative of mine out of care. I think the care system just sounds like such a lottery, with some children ending up in caring loving homes, and others suffering terrible abuse or neglect. HOWEVER Too, Loopy and Dream have all raised really good valid points about the difficulties of having two children so close in age. I would give serious thought to all their concerns. On top of that, I would add my worry that it would be hard to raise a child as your own / but not your own (if that makes sense?). It wouldn't like a normal adoption where you would become the child's mother, instead you would always be the Aunt and your brother would always be around watching what you're doing as a "parent" but at the same time you have all the responsibilities of a parent. It's just such a tough call.

Ultimately I think that no matter what you decide, on both issues, it will be what's right for your family. Both things are above-and-beyond what you could ever be expected to do, and if you decide not to go ahead with either it's clear that you would have made an entirely reasonable choice, based on love for both your family with DH and your wider family. I hope you manage to figure it all out soon though. Has the new baby arrived yet? I hope both Mum and baby are well!

((hugs)) to Dream for another tough weekend! Hurray for the fab new nanny!

I'm going full steam ahead with the separation thing at the moment. Burying myself in house-hunting and figuring out schools (argh!! nightmare!!) It has dawned on me that I will have to make DD's primary school application at the end of 2015, so whichever house I move to this summer will be the place I make the application from. However the streets I'm interested in moving to aren't near enough to ANY secular state primaries to secure a place. So basically all my choices will be rejected and DD will end up being allocated a space at whichever unpopular failing school has loads of places leftover - which will inevitably be MILES away from where we live. ARGH!! (I'm particularly bitter that there are several primary schools right by where I want to live, but they're all religious! It seems wrong to me that it is even possible for every primary school within a 1 mile radius of your house (over 4 or 5 schools!) to ALL be religious!)

As you can probably tell I'm mostly deflecting all my imminent-divorce stress and angst onto other targets at the moment. We have the estate agents coming round to take all the pics / details to get our house on the market this week, and I'll be viewing a couple of nurseries for little A plus a couple of houses in the area near my parents this week as well - so it's all getting a bit real. STRESSFUL! I just keep fixating on my 30th birthday later this year, and how I never imagined I would turn 30 as a single mother. sad

Stacks Mon 04-Feb-13 16:47:38

Thank you for your input. I'm not sure there's a good solution for the situation with my brother. I just really hope my worries are misplaced and everything will be ok. My brother is trying really hard to make social services happy. He just doesn't properly understand things - for example if he runs out of money it's because the bank stole it, not that he spent it all. So to him social services are just being mean and so he's rebelling against what they've asked, even though its reasonable. We help as much as we can, but he's an individual and an adult so there's only so much we can do.

As for the situation with my dad. I do feel like I have to see him. It's hard, but dad might not survive this surgery. I'll look into hotels though, it would be easier and safer to stay else where. I'm going to get him to ask about home help. Hopefully someone can help him tidy a space in the house for his recovery. I find it so hard to step back, I know no one else will step in.

dream I used to fantasise about having twins. Then I 'met' you and realised the reality. I think you do an amazing job, I often wish I could help somehow. I won't make the decision about my nephew lightly. I really, really hope it's a decision I'll never be called on to make.

scream we'll be moving before T starts school, I find it stressful just thinking about choosing a house while having to look at the schools.

T has woken again. He's refusing proper sleep during the day sad

PetWoman Mon 04-Feb-13 16:53:22

Hello all. I've been lurking but RL keeps getting in the way of me posting. hmm DS is now asleep on my lap. The dog is whining for her tea downstairs and I need to put ours in the oven in 20 mins but hey, I'm just gonna hide here with Velcro Baby. grin

Wants to say Stacks I imagine that SS would ideally support your DB and his GF to keep their baby, but that may depend on how much family support is available. Can you, or others in the family, provide that support for them, do you think? And do you genuinely think that they will cope with a baby / toddler / child or do you, in your heart of hearts, think that they will struggle and that the LO would be better in another home? I don't know what the answer is but I think it's wonderful that you are working out ways to support them. I do hope the birth goes smoothly and your family are able to work together to support each other in whatever way proves best. <hugs>. I'm not sure what I'd do about your dad's situation btw. My instinct would be to go and help - as you say, T can stay in his pram or your arms for a day - but then where will you sleep? Or would you do a day trip? Or is there anyone else in the family who can help? I hope the op goes well. thanks

Loopy thanks for your positive words about night weaning using water. We have yet to attempt it but as I go back to work at the end of this month sad we will have to have a go soon. Eek.

Too hope you're feeling better now. How is M getting on at nursery?

Jaggy it sounds so hard to juggle work and family. How is R's sleeping now? Yay for days off soon.

Dream glad the new nanny is good. Is this the young one? Sorry to hear about everything else though. sad Please keep posting, even if it is just for a moan smile As I latch DS on for the millionth time in the night I find myself wondering how you're getting on with sleep training. And what skills are the DTs working on this week? They are the same age as my DS, and often seem to be doing similar things, I think. Here, DS is finally doing a bit of slow, uncertain crawling. He can now walk while pushing his baby walker, too! But still no teeth...

Scream is it worth considering a faith school for little A? They are often very good and tend to have nice caring ethoses. Ethos? Ethes? You know what I mean! Obviously you don't have to share the school's faith, though hopefully you'd share their ethos. And if you're against religion, nothing's stopping you from discussing that with little A at home and teaching her a little skepticism! grin The retail therapy sounds much needed, anyway. I love bright red as well, and bought the red Maclaren XT which I love! I hope DH is not being difficult about the separation and continues to be a loving father to little A. I can only imagine how hard things are for you right now, but I know you'll get through it. <hugs>

Scarlet how is DS today?

Pomme glad the girls are settling well. FX the men sort themselves out before you have to Sort Them Out yourself! grin

<waves to all>

PetWoman Mon 04-Feb-13 16:58:47

X-post Stacks. A hotel sounds like a good idea. Sounds like you don't have much support from wider family though? Which makes these situations so much harder. I'm no brooking that your dad will come through the op and recover quickly. How is T's feeding now, btw? And sorry to hear about current sleep issues. I have no advice really as sleep is a bit of a disaster area here.

Hi Pet! <waves> How exciting that DS is crawling! Are you loving it or finding it makes life harder? I've had so many Mums in RL say to me that they'd much rather their LO started crawling/walking as late as possible, because of the added stress it brings. Personally though I love that little A is crawling, I think this stage of motherhood is much more fun than the early part!

Also Too how is M getting on with her walking?! Has she taken any more steps? Is she getting better at balancing?

Pet I just wanted to say that I don't think religious schools are bad. I just think the government should ensure that there are sufficient secular schools in every area, rather than allowing the majority of schools in an area to be religious. The closest primary to the road I'm most interested in, has prayers THREE times a day and "regular visits from local church representatives". Obviously this is fine for parents who want to bring their child up in faith, but as an atheist it would feel like they were trying to indoctrinate my DC! To be fair to them they try to select only religious families (but it's so close to the house that my DD would probably end up being allocated to the school if I put it down as a choice despite being atheist). I repeat I don't mind religious schools in principle, but every area should have enough secular schools to ensure atheists aren't forced to move to obtain an unbiased education for their DC. All the secular school have good ethoses (is that a word? hmm grin ) as well. I do have a bee in my bonnet about faith institutions assuming they have some kind of monopoly on morality.

Stacks how is the birth going? The hotel idea for your Dad sounds like a great start point. Stay strong.

How are the twins doing Dream? It feels like little A has been ill nonstop since starting nursery at the beginning of Jan. She has a horrific cough right now and keeps waking herself up coughing and choking sad I can't imagine having 2 (sometimes 3!) babies ill at the same time, especially for such long periods. You are absolutely amazing. l do hope you get a break soon though!

ScrambledSmegs Tue 05-Feb-13 09:55:18

Morning all. Seeing as I popped into the ante-natal thread yesterday, thought I should see how you all are. I'm typing one-handed so please excuse the short post.

Stacks I don't really have any advice re: your DB/DN. The very fact that you're considering taking in a newborn when your own is so young says so much about the kind of loving, caring person you are. I hope it doesn't come to that, for the sake of everyone involved. Have SS given any indication of their thoughts? And I hope your Dad's surgery goes well, your plan to go and see him sounds good.

Dream yay for new nanny! I always thought having twins must be tough in the baby/toddler phase, but there's so much more that I never realised.

Aargh, dead arm <ouchy face> Anyway, last night E2 slept through - 8:30 pm till 7am for the first time, with a quick dream-feed at 11-ish. Hurrah. I, of course, didn't hmm But I'm hopeful that this signals the start of better sleep, barring illness/teething etc. I'm relieved because E1 slept through from about a week old, requiring me to set an alarm to feed her to establish breastfeeding properly. Never realised how lucky I was before. She's also napping on me right now, hence the dead arm. She doesn't sleep in her cot in the day, so I've given in for the sake of a peaceful life.

But that's nothing. She is gorgeous, incredibly smiley, coos loads and chubbily cute. E1 adores her, spends ages trying to make her smile and talks about her all the time to her friends. I realise totally how lucky we are, and now I've had a decent night's sleep I find myself contemplating no. 3. Which will NEVER EVER happen, but it's nice to daydream!

<waves> to all. Scream hope you're ok. You seem pretty positive, I'm sorry to hear that you made the decision to divorce as it must have been hard for you, but sounds like you're looking to the future and doing well. I agree on faith schools - the best school near us is Catholic, but I refuse to send E1 there as I have ishoos with Catholism. I perceive it as somewhat at odds with my feminist principles for one thing! Hi Pet, I have a goldfish memory right now, I'm sure we've met befpre but hello again grin

Scream there is no such thing as a secular school in this country. By law all schools must have religious worship, not just faith schools. I am an atheist and wish it wasn't so but I'm afraid that is the situation. I went to a Catholic primary school and loved it. I decided I was atheist while I was there smile

TooExtraImmatureCheddar Tue 05-Feb-13 14:11:37

Hello all!

Rubber, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I never posted the breast pump! <slaps wrist> I'll try to do it tomorrow when I'm near the post office. I am a total idiot when it comes to posting things - this is why I never manage to send Christmas cards. Must try harder.

Smegs, hooray for E2 sleeping through! That's brilliant! Plus she (and E1 of course) sounds so adorable.

Scream, my excitement about M walking was somewhat misplaced - it was a flash in the pan which has not been repeated. She now dives at us, giggling, without moving her feet, when we try to get her to walk between us. I think she has missed the point of this game! However, her crawling is amazing - she goes so fast and she will now follow me around the house like a little puppy. Unless she passes the dog's bowl/bookcases/random crap on the floor/wires sticking out, at which point she stops and starts creating mayhem or eating stuff she shouldn't. hmm grin She's also much better at cruising, so I don't think it will be long until she tries walking properly.

How annoying about the school situation! I hope you find a solution you're happy with. Quite right, you should be able to have a non-faith school nearby and not have to perjure yourself pretending to be religious when you're not just so little A can go to her local school. Prayers 3 times a day seems like a bloody waste of time overkill even for a faith school.

<Big squeezy hugs re the whole divorce situation> I know turning 30 as a single mother isn't what you had in mind, but it doesn't mean it's a bad thing - it's just different. Being a single mum is the right thing for you and little A just now - the alternative was slogging along in a failing marriage, expending so much energy on trying to keep things together. When the dust settles I bet you find that life is much simpler when it's just you and little A. Living with a depressed husband is really, really hard. I think instead of worrying about your birthday, you should start planning an amazing celebration with your friends and family - make it something to look forward to! When is it, anyway? I'm the same age as you - I turn 30 in October, eek!

Pet, yay for DS crawling! And walking with his baby walker. I had an interesting Skype session the other day - we were showing BIL and SIL M walking with hers, and SIL exclaimed 'oh, how long has she been walking?' hmm To me, that's not walking. She can't walk independently yet. Makes me wonder just what SIL was classing as walking for her two! M has no teeth yet either and she's nearly 11 months. It just means they will have stronger teeth when they do appear, according to my dentist grandad!

Stacks, what happened with the baby - is your brother's GF still in labour or has the baby arrived? I think your hotel idea for your dad sounds good - it gives you a space to be. I think if the surgery is that risky then you are absolutely right to want to be on the spot. You sound like such a lovely caring person - your family is really lucky to have you! Where are you thinking of moving? <nosy> I know you're quite near me at the moment - are you staying in the city or moving out, or are you going somewhere else altogether?

Dream, hurray for your new nanny! She sounds like a star. Please don't stop posting - we want to hear what's going on! I can't believe some people think a 12 month age gap is the same as twins. Are they stupid, or what? Honestly! When do you start back at work?

<waves at Loopy, Jaggy, Gen, Scarlet, Musical and anyone else>

Well, I am signed off sick for this week. Stupid tummy! I went into work yesterday and started feeling literally crap, so I phoned the doctor to try to get an emergency appt in the afternoon. They offered me a phone consultation, so I took it, and the doc told me to go home straight away and she would write me a note signing me off for the whole week. I'm to go in tomorrow and get blood tests done, and I'm to provide a stool sample (ewwwwww!) as well. Actually, so far today I've been fine, but I was fine Fri/Sat as well and it all came back on Sunday, so I'm not sure what's going on. sad

In other news, we ran out of heating oil again, like total idiots, so I am sitting in a freezing house waiting for the plumber to come and bleed the boiler. It just seems like no time since we last ran out, so it hadn't even occurred to me to check the level in the tank. Oops. I hope the plumber comes today. I have a halogen heater which does one room at a time, so I can heat M's room this evening. Last night she was so good - the heating went off just after she was in bed, so the house gradually cooled down. M slept until 4 without a peep, and even then she went straight back to sleep in her cold little room after being fed. She's at nursery today where it will be warm.

Was it Musical who was bemoaning wriggly babies during nappy changes? M has taken to squirming like an eel the minute I undo her nappy, and howling like a banshee when I try to hold her still. It is really hard work! I had to shriek for DH to help on Saturday morning because she was trying to escape covered in poo and I couldn't hold her still and wipe her clean at the same time. I am working on the standing-up nappy change but I'm not very good at it yet.

Too it sounds like you need one of these although I'm shock that you have gone through a tank of oil so quickly!

Hi all, slightly more positive today. I would like to get rid of S though he's horrible. He is never content if not having 100% attention, preferably by walking holding hands. He really isn't much fun atm.

He can scoot backwards a little way on his tummy, is a very proficient roller and is starting to maybe vaguely think about getting on his knees. As in he tried once today hmm . He walks well holding hands. B sits there like a little pudding, reaches too far and topples over several times a day, can just about roll but still often gets stuck. he's sweet and lovely though. Doesn't attempt steps if held standing thank goodness Remedial though, the both of them <sigh> . Way behind your ds pet!!! I'm desperately hoping for s to get going soon to improve things. Don't think its imminent though. It's getting frankly embarrassing how shit their motor skills are with a physio as a mother...

I think twins are amazing, they love each other and DD, and all giggle together. But all the times one is ready, you strap them in the pushchair and they're just screaming and the other poos, and then you're just listening to the howling of whoever is waiting -all happens at least once a day- on top of really shit nights is taking its toll. B is ill, temp 39.9 yesterday, thankfully only 39 today. He is dairy free again and sleeping better. S is up about 8 times a night and wakes for the day between 4&6am, with a poo to seal the deal. Vomits pretty much straight away if left so I'm stuck, nothing I can do about it and my landing/ his bedroom stink of vomit as it is sad

So, enough about me.

scream 3 times a day!!! Must check what our village school does, its c of e. We don't have faith, but would send her if we like it, and if we get in, as its our local school, the only one we can walk to and I'd like my dc to have friends in the village...

Back in a month pet... Argh! You teach, don't you?

Nice to be off and not too ill I suppose too?! Rubbish about the oil, amazing how much oil/gas you use at home more with dc we've found...

Erm, forgetten the rest...

Oh, s vomits if left when he wakes crying. Tested on many occasions when he's woken before I've got DD down in the evening and is puking by the time I get to him... As he has a permanent cough/cold he's trying dairy free too...

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