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April 2009 Episode 15 Bebe & BB have babies n stuff

(764 Posts)
PuzzleRocks Mon 25-Jul-11 19:13:24

Ta da

BabiesBolat Mon 25-Jul-11 21:09:25

Ah thanks Puzz! Let's hope that title holds true (!) - am way too full of babies to last for another thread!

I went for chocolate hobnobs in the end, they worked a trick and am now much more calm and measured - although having said that I almost poked a man's eyes out on the train home - snoring fat men and hormonal pregnant women don't go well together!! grin Also you would think that it was DH that was 7 months pregnant the way he was stomping his heavy feet around upstairs and is now scraping his dinner plate! OK maybe not so calm and measured! blush

PuzzleRocks Tue 26-Jul-11 08:09:54

grin I have zero patience for snoring. I regularly dig DH in the ribs. And not gently.

ZuluWarrior Mon 01-Aug-11 19:10:57

How are the preggers ladies? It's pretty stuffy at the moment.

BabiesBolat Mon 01-Aug-11 20:17:09

Eurghhhhhhh!!!!! Zulu does that answer your question? I am melting!!!

30 weeks today. 49 inches round and more swollen than a dead fish!!!
6 more weeks of this and it's operation get these babies out!!!

How is Laura getting on?

How is everyone else?

First day working at home today in the final 4 weeks of work before mat leave - so glad I didn't have the commute but do miss the AC of work!

ZuluWarrior Wed 03-Aug-11 21:06:40

Oh, I feel for you BB. I am so enjoying being able to walk up a hill again.

Laura is great thanks. Although she is up a lot at night. I have given up putting her in her carrycot and have learned how to feed lying down again. And she vomits. Sandy never did that. What a waste of precious milk!

Hello ladies, it's been a while grin Huge congratulations to Bicnod and Zulu, fantastic news - sounds like you are both making two look easy! Have been terrible at keeping up with news but am assuming that bebe and BB are still pg given the thread title? And bebe you're back in the UK, I think? Hooray! BB have you stopped work yet?

Can't remember when I last came on but recent news this end is that Orbit Buttonhole has glue ear in both ears and a speech delay - I was airily saying 'There's nothing wrong, nothing wrong I tell you' when the nursery tried to point out that his speech wasn't doing very well, and then went to the doc's and oh look, poor child hears like he's underwater all the time. (Those of you on FB will already know this, I imagine). Since then though his speech has taken off like a rocket, so with any luck we won't need grommets or anything. Some of his mispronounciations do crack me up though - finger is minger, which makes tea time entertaining (Wow, Fish Mingers!)

I'm still in hateful hateful job, just had two weeks off, ten days of gorgeous sunshine in Cornwall and a few days at home just pottering. Don't want to go back but have interview on Thursday for fantastic job, am meant to be doing presentation right now hence MNetting blush. Please all cross your fingers, toes, legs, arms for me on Thursday morning, BB and bebe if you're giving birth please cross something for me if you can, although possibly not legs! grin

Hateful job going to drive me to the brink if I don't get this new job (like someone else we know - sorry to hear about that sad) so must get this one or another one soon soon.

Orbit still hates going to bed, sigh, and I have had a radical haircut but seeing as none of you have seen me before, you probably have no idea how different I look! Has given me a new lease of life though. smile

PuzzleRocks Sun 07-Aug-11 09:10:17

Very very best of luck for Thursday. Do let us know how you got on.
Fish mingers almost made me splutter my coffee. grin

DH's dad had a 70th birthday lunch yesterday. Much wine was quaffed and by early evening the girls had everyone, young and old, up and dancing. It was quite something to behold.

Thanks Puzz! Still terrified. Also hoping the suit I ordered from John Lewis fits me, or I'll have to go in my good wool dress and turn an attractive shade of beetroot throughout the interview.

Birthday lunch sounds like fun - your girls truly are the party animals, aren't they? Bodes well for teenage years wink

BabiesBolat Mon 08-Aug-11 07:36:51

WFH - good luck with Thursday - I will keep everything crossed for you (especially my legs after a very scary moment last night when I thought I might have been going into early labour! I wasn't just bloody painful). You'll be great! Let us know how you get on!

Karahan still isn't speaking - just words here and there. Took him to the HV who seemed completely unconcerned by it all as he was speaking more before his cousin arrived and then went mute for a month completely and is SLOWLY regaining everything. At the moment we have lots of copying words but nothing like formation of sentences yet. I am going to give him until he starts nursery in September then take him back if it's not further forward. If it's any consolation my best friend didn't speak until she was 3.5 and now she never shuts up and is one of the most well eloquent people I know!

Haircut sounds good, how radical are we talking? Nutty's red / purple hair changes?

BabiesBolat Mon 08-Aug-11 08:01:12

Well eloquent?!?! Well spoken / eloquent!

PuzzleRocks Mon 08-Aug-11 08:57:00

BB - Will you be able to make the park? In fact, is that still on?

Schulte Wed 10-Aug-11 21:48:13
Schulte Wed 10-Aug-11 21:50:40


PuzzleRocks Thu 11-Aug-11 08:15:14

So old skool wink

I don't think I've ever won a thread. sad

Poor me. Sniff.

Shall go to the garden and eat worms.

Schulte Thu 11-Aug-11 09:52:08

WFH I could swear you once beat me to it. But then Boff probably came along and claimed victory in her nonchalant style.

Just back from hols, where we had a trip to an Italian A&E where nobody spoke English, several small accidents that damaged the hire car quite badly, a power cut, a flooded kitchen, a diverted flight that meant it took us 4 hours longer to get to our destination than it should have, a bed soaked with wee because DH FORGOT to put a nappy on DD1 at bedtime, an evening where Hazel locked us out of our holiday villa, and all manner of other mishaps (if that is a word?). We had a great time though, honest.

PuzzleRocks Thu 11-Aug-11 18:19:44

Crikey Schulte, sounds like a sitcom episode.

Schulte Thu 11-Aug-11 18:58:18

I trust you have all seen this hilarious thread

SeniorWrangler Thu 11-Aug-11 22:28:59

Marking thread.

Schulte Fri 12-Aug-11 19:13:41

Bebe has had a baby girl...

Schulte Fri 12-Aug-11 19:14:16

...I'll let her tell us the rest smile

bebemoo Sat 13-Aug-11 09:41:09

Morning ladies smile Hope you're all well!

BB how are you feeling?

How are the new job searches going for some of you others?

Schulte your Italian holiday sounds eventful! Glad it was still fun tho hectic.

So yep, I had Gwynneth Anne Francis on the 11th...

bebemoo Sat 13-Aug-11 10:40:21

Prologue: Once upon a time (this is a long story) there was a girl who moved back from Germany 8ish months pregnant with her parents help. It was little stressful and she had lots of BHs on the way, but she and her husband and their dd Moo, enjoyed themselves greatly. (Her parents didn't care for the camping so much so were put up in near by hotels and so it wasn't so bad for them, tho the girl's dad was still a bit of stick in the mud)
They got back to the UK on Aug the 3rd or so and found the house which had been occupied by a supposed house cleaner not as clean as they hoped and filled with lots of stuff which wasn't actually theirs... so frantic nesting started (much to the further chagrin of the girl's father). With things still in a great state of 'not done-ness' they sent the girl's parents back to the States on the 9th via a London bound train with a little worry abt the riots and unrest, but out of necessity.
On the 10th of August the girl and her husband went out shopping for some last baby bits for the hospital bag and looked for a baby bouncer which suited the husband's criteria. With no luck on the bouncer they returned home to their very messy, disorganised house, but with a sigh the girl went to bed when her daughter did at abt 9. The husband stayed up with the promise to clean up some of the mess before coming to bed. At 1.30ish am he came to bed and the girl got up and went to the toilet and brushed her teeth because she had forgotten.

2.26am girl wakes up again realising she's been having some contractions while sleeping. She laid in bed for a while and thought 'oh these are stronger then before and hmmmm I feel a little anxious/panicky. Should I wake dh? nah. The poor guy only just fell asleep.' However after the realisation that the contractions were not stopping and were coming in a rather rhythmic fashion abt every 5 min or so and feeling still a bit panicky I woke him gently. So he got up and called his parents to come over (they were 1.5 hrs away) and we started getting ready to go. We called the MLU to give them a heads up and see where we needed to go and were told we'd be going to the Consultant led unit since we'd not been seen by any midwife over here for ages. We continued to get ready.
We got called back by the Consultant midwife at 3.15 to get more info. While on the phone to them my waters broke and trickled a little. I went to get myself cleaned up. Dh called his parents; they were 20min away. No problem just a little more urgent...going to get Bebe downstairs and we'll leave the moment you get here.
3.20ish waters gushed! while on the bed and suddenly I was hardcore contracting and screaming thru back labor. DH pulled a maternity dress on over my head despite my protests that I wanted nothing on wink You cannot go out of the house without covering up a little hun you'll be devastated later. I relented and started down the stairs while DH threw the bag in the car. Down 5 stairs and I started screaming and felt the need to push (but resisted as much as I could thinking it was similar to last time where I was back laboring for ages but was told not to push yet) Down first full set of steps...DH called ambulance as I was not moving fast enough and apparently screaming the whole way (thinking I'd get pain relief faster). (Hospital is only 7min away driving normal speeds) Half way down the second set of steps the in-laws arrived and suddenly even tho I was trying not to push my body was pushing. Managed to get down the last bit of stairs onto the tile floor. Went down on all fours pretty much unable to move with constant contractions.
There was a (long for me) pause during which I thought OMG am I transitioning??? Surely not tho. It feels just like when I labored for hours with Meg. Dh wanted to get me in the car. Not going anywhere! I told him as contractions started again. Started pushing again without 'trying' to. Felt the head and the closeness to crowning. It felt very wrong, feared baby was stuck somehow (it was because I was on all fours and the baby was quite far back)
4.35ish (I'm told) EMS walk in the front door. Stuck G&A in my mouth as I crowned.
4.50 Gwynneth born in full.
5.02 birthed the placenta while the guys were busy with something else. Which set them to joking and laughing that I was really in a hurry.
Midwife arrived 5.20.
(ambulance and midwife got super lost because it's a newer development and not on satnav and apparently DH's directions when they both called other times were not clear enough)

Epilogue: Midwife who came was on her 4th call in the 24hr period. She said I didn't need stitches so didn't need to go to hospital so the EMS guys left. there was a lot of bickering going on btwn them all tho I was not completely conscious of it all....
3 in the afternoon 2nd midwife came to just double check on everything. She looked at my bits and said, um i think you need to go in, you really look like you need to be stitched as while near the 'outside' it's very superficial i can see that further in it's not...and it looks rather deep to me and(TMI alert) close to your anus. Worried tho because it's so far after the fact it's uncertain whether it'll stitch up very well IF you do need the stitches as I fear.
Went into the hospital after searching high a low for baby carseat bits that DH said he knew 'exactly' where they were... had to borrow seat off neighbor. Another midwife looked at me and went 'sorry I definitely need to get a doctor in; I won't be able to stitch that myself.' Went thru a very uncomfortable stitch up which was made worse by swelling... superficial on the outer but a very badly positioned 3 degree interior as it goes further in. I cannot sit, only lay and painkillers are pretty useless, but today is better than yesterday when I couldn't nap for the pain.

bebemoo Sat 13-Aug-11 10:41:26

Boff I forgot to ask how you're doing. xxx Hope you're resting. Where in Brittany were you? I met DH in a little place outside of St. Brieuc. smile

bebemoo Sat 13-Aug-11 10:48:26

sorry that was so long ladies!
It was very surreal and it's the first time I really thought about it clearly.

Gwen is doing really well. She's a better feeder than Moo. Moo avoided me and Gwen the first day, but started warming up a little yesterday and today is doing better again. She's a 'need quiet to accept things' type of person.
Sent the in-laws home today as thought it would help to settle us (all) if they weren't here to distract us. (tho I am very thankful they came and that they're British as didn't make a big deal about walking in seeing a laboring woman with her bum hanging out as she's birthing their 4th grandkid wink blush OMG SO EMBARRASSING.... I'M TRYING NOT TO REMEMBER)

ZuluWarrior Sat 13-Aug-11 22:39:53

Wow BeBe! Well done you. She is beautiful. Dramatic entrance though. Has it sunk in yet?

Hope you can sit down soon. Savlon baths and co-codamol are what saved me with DSs episiotomy. Milk in yet?

I have just discovered the Mumsnet mobile site. You will all have known about it for years no doubt, but I feel like a pioneer posting while feeding a baby in bed smile. A month old today and chubbing up nicely. Now all she needs to do is learn the difference betweeen night and day....

Bicnod Sun 14-Aug-11 11:06:34

Bebe - congratulations! She is gorgeous and what an incredible birth story. Sorry about your soreness grin( make sure you get midwives to check stitches don't get infected - I ended up having to have two courses of antibiotics to sort mine out and I think it is probably because I had to wait three hours to be stitched in the first place...

Schulte - well done for winning the thread smile

Zulu - I feel your pain. James is up all the time at night at the moment as well. He did a 5 hour stretch one night last week (11pm to 4am) and I thought maybe that would be the start of Good Things but it hasn't quite worked out like that. I'm currently surviving on about 4 hours of broken sleep a night and not managing to nap most days as have Oscar as well. I'm sure you're in the same boat - keep telling myself it won't last forever - isn't it around 6/8 weeks they become a bit more predictable? Feeding lying down is fabulous - I've done it from day 1 with James as I never cracked it with Oscar so thought I'd try from the outset. I often fall asleep as he's feeding and wake up 45 minutes later, baby asleep and bed covered in milk. Nice.

Boff - how are you doing now? Thinking about you x

BB - not too long now - I still can't believe you're having twins shockgrin

So who is coming to the meet up on Thursday?! At the moment recently confirmed are:


If anyone else is coming then post on the FW FB page so we can get organised and work out where, when etc.

Right. Cup of tea then feed the boy.

bebemoo Sun 14-Aug-11 13:07:27

Milk came in yesterday afternoon and I'm perking up nicely wink We're doing only lay down feeds (as I still cannot sit) which i'm wondering if it's partly why the feeds are better so far.
I've only been taking the co-codamol at night to get me to sleep as I've still not (TMI alert) had a poo... otherwise it's the paracetamol. The Doc also said I could take ibuprofen for a few days to help with swelling, but I've not done it as I can tell the swelling has eased. I've been having tea tree baths and using witch hazel spray before and after wee's. It's just the sitting which causes the terrible 'pulling feeling' which is sharp and very uncomfortable.

It's beginning to sink in finally as the last of the laundry/mess is now cleaned... but I still saw the name 'Dewi' yesterday and thought 'If we do have a boy that might be cute...oh yeah...'

PuzzleRocks Sun 14-Aug-11 17:17:58

Looks like it's going to be a cosy meet up. Right, 5 minutes to read Bebe's story. . . .

PuzzleRocks Sun 14-Aug-11 17:22:48

"You cannot go out of the house without covering up a little hun you'll be devastated later." grin grin

Seriously though, what a birth story. Well done all of you. Sorry you are so uncomfortable. I hope everything heals very soon. I took lots of salt baths both times.

And she really is a gorgeous poppet.

Bicnod Sun 14-Aug-11 21:15:50

bebe - i've just realised i put grin when I wanted to put sad about your soreness blushblushblush i'm sorry lovely - honestly not grinning about you being in pain x

vezzie Sun 14-Aug-11 21:36:35

Bebe, what a fantastic birth story. Well done. Glad the feeding is going well. Feeding lying down is the most marvellous thing. I wish you very best with your stitches, take care and let them heal in their own time - no rushing about please.

And yes, Zulu, mumsnet on the phone is a revelation! Also, this time round, I have a kindle. All around very comfortable.

Bicnod - hang in there!

Gosh - is it this Thursday? (beetling off to Facebook)

SeniorWrangler Sun 14-Aug-11 21:46:56

Well done, Bebe. A real FJ warrior birth indeed! I am impressed.

WRT your ladygarden, FemePads are great- cold packs for fanjos available from Mothercare.

BTW make sure a consultant sees your fanjo if you have any concerns at all about how it is healing - I relied on MWs and house officers to repair mine and they did not do a particularly good job, which I understand is quite common.

BabiesBolat Mon 15-Aug-11 07:53:25

Wow Bebe - well done! What an impression to make on your in laws and the EMC grin but seriously impressive birth story! Gwynneth is lovely and looks very content in the pictures. Do make sure you keep on getting checked out if you are still sore. My sister damaged her back in labour and 'left' it to heel on the advice of the HV and now needs lots and lots of work on it to make it line up again. Seriously though you are thinking of another already? WOW! I was so far away from thinking about a second after K (especially the process of making said second baby) grin

Zulu I found it about three weeks ago and DH is not impressed at something else to keep me glued to my phone!!!

Bic ooh I remember those nights - I've kind of been trying to forget them - although my 5 times a night toilet trips are helping me prepare a bit for it!
I know what you mean about the twin thing. Saturday I was down at the park with K and suddenly I thought, Oh pretty soon there will be three of them down here - then it was like an 'OH MY GOD I'M HAVING TWO BABIES' moment. Think that's the first time I had really and truly thought about the logistics of it all - managing three of them on a daily basis! Got my 32 week scan tomorrow so hoping they will book me in for my induction / CS depending on the placenta for around 5 weeks time.

I'm on for Thursday. I won't be bringing K as I can't really chase after him (and he's a runner!) and I have to pop into a meeting in town in the morning.

Hope everyone is ok - I better go and remove K from my window ledge...

PuzzleRocks Mon 15-Aug-11 08:41:49

Fab, can't wait to see you all. I have been working (at home) this past week and we are all getting cabin fever.

Bicnod Mon 15-Aug-11 09:59:47

Hurrah! And it looks like the weather will be good on Thursday grin

bebemoo Mon 15-Aug-11 11:23:25

BB we're not having any more kids!! I gave you that impression? HELL NO! MW who double checked the stitches was trying to convince me I should populate the world with cute little girls. I said 2 gorgeous offspring was more than enough, I didn't want to upset the balance for all the other lovely girls in the world.
2 is plenty and to be honest it'll be too expensive to travel to the States if we have any more anyhow.

My bits seem to better(ish) today. smile We went into the mall yesterday and I walked around and I'm wondering if that helped some actually. I'm sitting very gingerly on the couch and I'm not thinking of dying wink I really want to look, and yet I really don't at the same time...I'm horrible looking at healing wounds/stitches, especially stitches. DH flat out refused to look at the stitching and 'work' done on me this time saying that it made him feel utterly sick and guilty last time and he could remember well enough how terrible that rather minuscule cut looked..

baby Woo slept 6 hours last night...my left breast is a solid rock sad and she's woke up jaundice. I've got her in the sun and will be doing my darnedest to feed her every 2 hours (for both our relief) and hopefully it all passes soon. HV comes tomorrow anyhow to check up on her so if it's not getting better she'll let us know.

Must check out MN on phone...and I agree abt the kindle... lying in bed feeding Woo and distracting myself from the tenderness by reading is fab!

bebemoo Mon 15-Aug-11 18:51:30
PuzzleRocks Mon 15-Aug-11 19:16:51

Try not to worry too much about the jaundice; Holly was like Lisa Simpson for almost two weeks.

I can't help re the refusing one side. I hope you get some answers and the engorgement subsides soon. Lots of heat on the breast helped me.

bebemoo Mon 15-Aug-11 21:13:08

Thanks Puzz smile
I'm not worrying too much as it's eased since this morning smile She's still yellow but she's not so much banana as meringue now. Plus the HV will be here to look at her tomorrow and if anything more need be done it'll be accomplished tomorrow. smile

Just perturbed more with the fact that we've got this curve ball when I really want to be smooth sailing and enjoying my time with her more. (tho honestly I'm so much less worried and anxious and crazy and I'm not 'hating it' as I was with Moo) Even last night when I was angry and resentful abt everyone sleeping and me not and having huge sore breasts which dh will ALSO never have to deal with (along with the joys of ripped bits) I was looking at her and not dreading the next time that I had to feed her. With Moo I dreaded every feed until abt 4months. BUT I am so looking forward to having a bigger healthy baby that I can feed without pain and worry. smile

ZuluWarrior Tue 16-Aug-11 20:19:50

Oh, I wish I could come on Thursday. Think I should just jump on a train?

Bebe, how are you and your girls (referring to your children, not your breasts grin) today?

Bicnod, I'm hoping that six to eight weeks is when they get more predictable too. I wish I'd kept a diary from last time now- I can't remember anything. It sounds like I'm getting a wee bit more sleep than you though. Is it getting any better?

bebemoo Wed 17-Aug-11 22:50:05

The girls are getting on really well. Moo was utterly sweet with Woo today smile Held her loads and wanted to carry her out to the car when we went out for a little bit wink

As for the other girls wink HV came over today (rather than yesterday) and she popped Woo on in abt a second! I was like OMG SO UNFAIR!!! she laughed ans showed me abt pinching the areola behind the nipple when engorged and having Woo straight on my lap (no pillow) so that she could completely in line with the nipple/ breast to help drain it...
It was amazing; suddenly Woo was eating efficiently and the boulder I was carrying around became a flaccid breast again. thank goodness!

PuzzleRocks Thu 18-Aug-11 08:04:10

Hurrah for your HV. Good to hear a positive story about one on here.

BabiesBolat Tue 23-Aug-11 16:58:53

Hey ladies, sorry I have been awol and very sorry I missed the meet up. My meeting went on and on and got puzz's message just as I was leaving central london. And then my phone died! angry

Hope you are all ok, gutted i missed baby James and you ladies.

Been a bit crazy here. Work has been manic (despite supposed to be winding down) and the babies are giving me all sorts of gyp!

Had a scan last week that showed that both babies were breach (after being head down) and the placenta which both myself and my midwife were pretty sure had moved has actually lodged down even further and is covering the os by 4cms which means I have NO chance of a natural birth and that I was now considered high risk because twin one was in danger of tearing away from the placenta because of the position. THEN on Friday the little bugger decided to stop moving and I was taken in for monitoring. Both babies fine but twin one still not moving enough so I was in on Saturday, yesterday and again today (at 3 hours a time). Then last night started having contractions (for an hour) then they went away). So we are desperately trying to keep these babies in until post 34 weeks (am 33 weeks today), whilst trying to get everything completed for work (which finishes next Friday thank goodness!!). Sure I will be sat here at 37 weeks with these two inside but right now they have to stay put so their lungs can fully develop.

So that was a mammoth me post!

How is everyone else?

ZuluWarrior Tue 23-Aug-11 20:40:30

Wow BB. Sounds like you've been having a busy time! Are you OK? Are you sure you should still be working? (stupid question - it's you we're dealing with, but feel I should at least say it!). Sounds like you should be sitting with your feet up. Keep us posted.

How was the meet-up?

I got my consultant job. Hooray! It was a horrible interview and I wasn't happy with how I'd come across so when I was offered the job I was really surprised. I'm not sure it's sunk in even now. It's a job for life so a Big Deal and means we can stay living where we do and our kids can go to the lovely school down the road etc. Lovely feeling!

WFH, how did your job interview go?

BabiesBolat Tue 23-Aug-11 20:43:47

Yay Zulu huge congrats! Well done!!! gringringringringrin. When do you start?

I'm regretting staying on this long but I've got 7 working days left and I'm working from home so its not too horrendous (she says!!)

Bicnod Wed 24-Aug-11 08:29:29

Oh BB - that must have been very scary when one twin wasn't moving enough (how can you tell which is which by the way?!) Could you stop work earlier than planned? It really sounds like you should be putting your feet up.

Zulu - congratulations! That's amazing news - getting a new job at the same time as having a new baby is pretty spectacular!

Meet up was fab - we must must must do it again soon. Schulte's hosting skills are impeccable and I enjoyed watching baby James puke his way around the group grin

Speaking of James - he fed at 7pm, dreamfeed at 10.45pm, feed at 3.30am, feed at 6.50am. I can't actually believe he did such a brilliant night and he's not even 6 weeks yet - I have high hopes for this one being a good sleeper - surely I deserve it after the hell I went through with Oscar?!

Right, must make house look vaguely respectable - we've got 3 estate agents coming round to value it today as we're seriously considering a move out of London <excited>

PuzzleRocks Wed 24-Aug-11 08:40:40

Oh wow Zulu, that's fantastic news. I hope you plan to treat yourself for being so bloody awesome?

BB I don't know what to say other than I hope the next few weeks fly by for you. So is Friday your last day?

Has anyone heard from a certain academic mother of many?

ZuluWarrior Wed 24-Aug-11 10:16:45

Thanks all. Start when I go back from maty leave at the end of January. That's so far away it's never going to happen!

Bicnod, James' sleeping is sounding very promising! I was pleased with last night and it went like this: 10pm, 1.30am, 3.30am, 6am. We still have a long way to go..... Although I think she smiled yesterday (at my friend, and then my other friend envy envy envy) which melted my heart.

Haven't heard from the fertile one. A few folk have been very quiet recently <nosey>.

SeniorWrangler Wed 24-Aug-11 11:06:59

Academic mother of many here, now on antidepressants so a bit coshed chemically.

Despite also having fractured my index finger the other day, I have been pottering around the house decorating the children's rooms and so on, which has been pleasurable and productive, but I am not sure whether staying indoors and barely facing the outside world is healthy tbh. However going out and doing things with three kids in tow seems like too much effort at the moment. I feel shaky just going to the supermarket, although I make a point of trying to appear as normal as possible while I am doing things like this.

I am trying to decide whether to give up work altogether or whether to soldier on. I would not make a very good SAHM really, I think, and I am certainly not prepared to iron my DH's shirts all day long and that sort of thing, but I know I am not happy working long hours for little return and having colleagues being unappreciative and sometimes pretty unpleasant as I do a lot of the grunt work.

It's difficult at the moment.

Now while I am on, I have instructions for BB. PUT YOUR FEET UP AND STOP DOING THINGS! You are far too busy given the twins situation IMO. But then, I suppose you are the woman who tried to give birth in the bathroom aisle of B and Q. wink

PuzzleRocks Wed 24-Aug-11 20:13:34

I don't know much about ad's but I imagine it takes a period of adjustment? Hopefully it wont be too long for you.
I can't see you being a 50's housewife either but I am pretty sure that is not how you would use your time. I bet you have a head full of still unwritten books or other such projects that until now you have not had time for??

BabiesBolat Thu 25-Aug-11 14:07:53

Hello - well I finish work a week tomorrow but with bank holiday etc I only have 5 more days and I did work all morning from my bed so definitely taking it much easier at the moment.

Bic / Zulu - I am petrified reading your posts. I'd completely forgotten about frequency of night feeds and I am going to have two of them - I am NEVER going to sleep! NEVER EVER!!! However, they seem to be settling a bit which is good. Although Bic your facebook post this morning made me chuckle - I'll be with you soon at 4 in the morning jigging and shhing!!

SW - FWIW and you might not want my two pennies worth but... if it is financially feasible, I think you should give up work. You have not been happy, well since we first met on this thread a long time ago and you are clearly not benefiting from career development there. That compiled with the commute etc just makes it impossible. I think you should become self employed, write your articles and books / concepts and send them off. Build up your portfolio, try and get some regular writing for an industry magazine - anything that will keep you active and passionate in the industry you like and will not put you at risk of becoming a 50s housewife. It should be feasible to have proper 'work hours' while the kids are at school and as long as you and DH agree that you are not the cleaner and ironer it could work out really well for you. I am thinking of retraining in the next couple of years as something completely different to PR and I am really excited about it but it will take a while for DH to build up his business and become the regular main earner (at the moment he is dwarfing me but unfortunately being self employed that could all end in a few months!). At the very least take this time to work out what it is you want.

Ah it was Homebase not B&Q! God that's awful, why couldn't it be john lewis or an upmarket DIY shop - not the bathroom aisle of Homebase! (not that there is anything wrong with Homebase, my bathroom was a bargain!! wink. Although so far this week I have been banned from two things:

1. Going to ikea to pick up some bits for the nursery - "what happened the last time we went to a home improvement shop and you were heavily pregnant".

2. Taking my fathers disastrous wallpaper attempt off the nursery wall (it's only half that needs to come down but boy is that half bad!!!) "What happened the last time you started pulling things about and ripping things off walls when you were heavily pregnant".

So I am now sat on the sofa not doing anything as I have done all my work for today, my sister went to ikea for me and I can't build them up until the wallpaper is redone on Monday. So that's me sat here.

I am however waging war on my hospital which may not be the smartest move but having sent the complaint email from my work account, i am getting very efficient responses! grin

AuldAlliance Thu 25-Aug-11 14:42:49

hello, have poked my head in and seen lots of posts.

BB, do have a rest when you can.
Zulu, congratulations!!
SW, hope you find the right answer for you.

erm, have forgotten what else I meant to respond to... if I say I hope everyone, and all the babies and kids are well, will that cover it?

We are sweltering in an endless heatwave here, which I know sounds lovely, but is really tiring. Have had a really nice summer with the kids, in spite of the dreaded squabbling they indulge in.

A has gone back to the lovely CM's two-three days a week until term starts, DS1 has a friend round and they are shooting each other in the living room. I am doing some translating when I can to bolster my pittance pay, writing up a paper, and half-heartedly preparing for the semester to kick off on Sept 12. DS1 starts back at school on the 5th (has been on holiday since July 1st FFS), and I will have a manic week then...

In Other Matters, it is more or less the same old sorry story, with which I shall not bore you.

SeniorWrangler Thu 25-Aug-11 14:48:01

BB I am glad you have your feet up.
You speak good sense about the career stuff so can we speak off thread about this?
Auld, wish I was there!

Conkertree Thu 25-Aug-11 14:50:36

Hi everyone. Juat popped on to look at the due in September thread, and this one came up in active conversations. Nice to see how you are all doing.

It's funny cause I was on our old thread from April 2009 last night, to try and compare this pg with the last one, and ended up reading all around BabiesBolat's adventures with the wall, so its funny to come on today, and find a similar theme. Good luck BB when the time comes.

Will read back a bit later and see what the rest of you have been up to.

I'm 36 weeks pg just now, so am hoping I dont go overdue by as much as last time, although this one has been a faster pg with moving house, running the kilts, and having two boys to chase after, so I can't complain.

PuzzleRocks Thu 25-Aug-11 15:50:40

Crikey this is the liveliest we have been for ages. Conker do keep us posted. I wonder if you or BB will be first.

bebemoo Sat 27-Aug-11 13:03:57

BB hope you're still taking it easy.

SW are the ADs kicking in properly yet? They do take a bit to get the right dosage sorted sometimes. Hope you're feeling better soon. I'd side with BB on this, she full of good advice and I think she's quite right that you could easily have enough to keep you active in your chosen field without having to be still at traditional work. xxx Looking forward to see how/what you choose.

Conker hope you're doing well and the move/boys have not tired you out too much tho they say that the more active you arein the latter weeks of your pregnancy the quicker the baby is likely to come... hope the lo stays put until you're feeling ready. xxx

Zulu YEAH! smile So pleased for you. Sounds like life is taking a turn for the good for you again. smile smile

And everyone else, Hello! Hope you're all doing fine!

<<Bebe nods in 'hello' as she's got her hands full of breast or baby as she works on hour 17 of a marathon cluster feeding session>>

Hello hello - some people on here who haven't been around for ages, it's lovely to hear how everyone is! Zulu thanks for job interview enquiry - it went very well, was in there for over 2 hours and they have asked me back for a second interview in September. There's a few aspects of the job that concern me, won't bore you all with the details, but am reserving judgment until the second interview when I'll meet the CEO and get info straight from the horse's mouth, as it were.

Bebe glad the feeding is going better - sounds like you're going great guns with it now.

Puzz the gin comment made me fall off my chair with laughter!

Babies can't wait for your twins to arrive! Hope you have no more scary moments.

Senior Wrangler - I don't know what to say apart from I am sending loads of sympathy, I'd agree with Babies about not doing something that makes you miserable and exhausted. But, I'm in the position of wondering whether to keep working f/t in my chosen career or do something much less stressful and part time in DPs business, but that takes me out of my chosen career. It's a really tough decision, so I understand what a difficult place you're in.

The boys are lovely, Orbit's speech has improved massively although he still says 'Crunket' instead of 'Crumpet' and 'Fleet' instead of 'Sleep' and lots of other brilliant alternatives (we still have Fish Mingers for tea grin). I think his ears are improving though because he's started singing and it's actually a recognisable tune - 'Twinkle Twinkle Tar' and 'BaBa Lacksheep'. Back to the docs in Sep for another assessment, so we'll see. DS1 needs to go back to school, he's bouncing off the walls. Only one more week!

Schulte Sun 28-Aug-11 21:58:03

He he

H sings 'Ba ba zack sheep' all the time. I pushed her round the supermarket in the trolley the other day and she was singing so loudly people stopped and turned to listen grin

bebemoo Mon 29-Aug-11 08:14:24

Aw, singing toddlers are so cute...Moo doesn't sing...well she pretends to with the wooden drum sticks which she thinks are microphones, but it's just random noises. And she does it really quietly; if she notices you listening she stops and runs away. She does not sing songs she 'knows.' I wish she would; I'm very jealous.

SeniorWrangler Mon 29-Aug-11 08:51:20

ADs starting to work a bit.
May be setting up training business with a chum locally. If I can work out how you do something like that.
Certainly going to resign from job as they are wankers to have done this to me.
GP being brilliant.

PuzzleRocks Mon 29-Aug-11 13:27:23

SW I am delighted to read that post. Here's to a better future.

SeniorWrangler Mon 29-Aug-11 15:34:29

I bloody hope so!
So nice you are all supportive xx

On another note (!) Felix sings all day long, knows loads of songs more or less, it's great to hear him. DS2 had a speech problem at that age so couldn't manage much, and it's a lovely surprise that Felix is apparently normal.

AuldAlliance Mon 29-Aug-11 19:09:39

SW, am glad you are feeling more positive and have some options.

A also sings a lot, he seems to have an ear for tunes, and just makes up the words as he goes along. He does a mad, rambling "Grand Old Duke of York".

He and DS1 are wrestling and giggling like loons. It'll all end in tears, but is lovely while it lasts. This is a lovely age in spite of the tantrums and "me, me, I'll do it" nonsense.

Must go and check no bones get broken.

Are making this thread all busy so we fill another one up before Babies has her Babies? All this activity! It's uncanny, I tell you....

PuzzleRocks Mon 29-Aug-11 19:46:01

Auld, my two have a favourite game at the moment called "push me off the bed".

BabiesBolat Tue 30-Aug-11 09:44:41

Oi - don't be trying to bopp my babies off this thread - they are in the title so they are bloody well coming before this thread is finished!!!!

Auld how's it going? Do you still have the heatwave? I would be DYING over there if so, it's bad enough here when it's muggy and overcast!

SW - glad you have made a decision - I always think that you can be much more positive about things when you have the ability to plan and I do think leaving the old job is the best thing for you at the moment. Feel free to email - am a bit of a nightmare to get hold of at the moment with work but I always try and dedicate a couple of hours a day to respond to emails and bits. Roll on Friday!

Conker - there will be no bathroom ripping out (as much as I'd like to rip the old bathroom out I might get shot!) I did take down some wallpaper last night but only a couple of strips that were supposed to be put back up today but lo and behold that's not happening until tomorrow now!! angry and DH calls me impatient blush

How you feeling now? Are you ready for LO to arrive? Do you know what flavour you are getting this time (sorry if you have said already), I don't so am living my own frustrations through everyone else!!

WFH - well done on second interview - sounds like lots of us are thinking about career things at the moment or in the near future (although have to admit, the ONLY thing I am thinking about at the moment is getting these babas out but not until after Thursday!!!).

Glad Orbit is getting better with his speech. K still isn't saying much at all (he stopped speaking completely about 12 weeks ago after our week away in Ireland and the birth of his cousin who was suddenly here when we arrived home). HV not concerned at all because of his dual language learning and his understanding levels - she believes he is doing it to control situations he is uncomfortable in (that is, returning to a new baby in his space). But his confidence has returned dramatically which is a huge step forward and he's starting to say the words again and there is constant babble coming out of his mouth just not much that sounds like anything of note! We are probably back up to about 15 words (from about 35 before) and some new ones but they are only said on his terms - stubborn little mule. We got that 'it takes two to talk' book and am making an effort to play and use words on his level as it recommends which seems to have helped. Am going to give him a month at nursery (he starts next week) to see if that helps and then he is going in for an assessment to make sure there is no underlying issues. HV seems to think not as his speech was progressing normally until my sisters DD was born and others around us seem less concerned (family and friends) but that doesn't stop me and DH worrying about it. He does sing though (no words but tunes) all the time and dances and is very cute copying the dancing from TV programmes (you know they say TV is bad but it has really helped him with his sounds). Yesterday he started dancing in the middle of Zara and made me dance with him - ho hum I guess you have no shame when you are a mummy!

His favourite thing at the moment is playing with people's tummy's - due to my ever expanding one, he is OBSESSED with checking out everyone else's - feel sorry for anyone who comes to visit, poor nutts gets virtually molested when she comes as he straddles her and tries to get up her top!!! grin!

Am getting very fed up with being pregnant again now. Am 34 weeks today so babies lungs should be strong enough for the outside world without too much help so now my last milestone is to get to September so the babies are the oldest in the year rather than the youngest and then it's operation get these babies out as soon as I've finished work!

Hope everyone is ok - am off to get some paracetamol (had two moles removed this morning and they said it would be sore - they have NO idea!!!)

AuldAlliance Tue 30-Aug-11 14:17:52

BB, we'd have to really try hard to fill a thread before your twins come, given our current form!
The heatwave is over. It's only 29° now (!), there is air circulating, and cooler weather at night, so the boys are sleeping a bit better.

Puzzle, pushing off the bed sounds fun, too.

We went walking in the Alps this weekend, it was lovely. I carried Alex in the backpack on the way up, but not down again (too much strain on the old knees). He had a great time. We saw mountain goats, chamois, vultures and a bright yellow rescue helicopter which came and landed three times in a row beside our hostel. When the CM asked A what he'd seen in the mountains, he replied "cows". Dunno why we bothered going all that way, really, though it's true they were quite impressive cows, roaming free amongst the hikers.

He is talking quite well, in French to French speakers and a weird mix to DS1 and me (Je veux pas eat it. C'est hot. Je peux have some more, please Mummy? Je peux some milk, please? and so on).
He gets furious when I don't understand him, yells gibberish at me and runs off to fume in a corner at the idiocy of his benighted mother.

DS1 starts "big school" next Monday - he has a new, huge schoolbag, a pencil case and a list the length of my arm of materials to buy. His first baby tooth fell out last week. Time is marching on.

Hope everyone is OK...

Right, must crack on.

PuzzleRocks Wed 31-Aug-11 14:31:49

Auld remind how old DS1 is? They start later over there don't they? Ellen starts Reception next Wednesday. I'm wibbling a bit.

SeniorWrangler Wed 31-Aug-11 16:29:17

Auld, a culinary question. I inadvertently bought a tin of gesiers a la confit de canard in SuperU while I was in Brittany last month. Is this a body part I may balk at eating?

SeniorWrangler Wed 31-Aug-11 16:30:02

<shudders at the thought of eating duck's testicles>
<wonders if ducks have testicles>

AuldAlliance Wed 31-Aug-11 19:53:41

Puzzle, he is 6 and a half. He has finished his 3 yrs of "maternelle", which he started quite late, at 3 and a half, because they wouldn't take him the previous Sept as he was only 2 and a half. Not that I was keen to start him at school at 2 and a half. They have to turn 3 during the calendar year of their entrance to maternelle, unless your town is more flexible and has spaces in its schools.
DS1 was one of the oldest in his class each year.
So he is starting "primaire" at 6.5, whereas his best friend will not be 6 till Nov.
But even apart from his age, yes, they start actual, proper school later here, as they spend ages doing the groundwork in maternelle, but then in the 1st year of primaire they expect them to get reading and writing mastered pretty damn quick. It is certainly working with DS1, he is almost reading already, after 2 years of working on sounds, syllables, the alphabet, etc.
(that was looooong!)

SW, those are gizzards. Not testicles, but not the most appetising of morsels, either. They eat them in salads in the South-West, with foie gras, that sliced smoked magret de canard stuff, walnuts, possibly fried potatoes. Bref, a salad that blocks your arteries as soon as you glance at it. The gizzards will doubtless be surrounded by a tasty but evil layer of duck fat... I have never bought them or dealt with them, TBH.

In exchange for enlightening you and reassuring you that duck's gonads are not on the menu, may I ask whether you have tested any good recipes for savoury madeleines? I have got my traditional ones down to a fine art (leaving the mixture overnight is the secret, I reckon...), and would like to explore a bit. I know you are a specialist in the field (!)

ZuluWarrior Wed 31-Aug-11 20:54:48

Brilliant to see this thread so lively again!

SW, even through the medium of t'internet it's obvious you're feeling a bit better. I'm so glad for you. Get ye the f*ck out of that job and onto that other stuff you're thinking about.

Puzzle, push me off the bed does sound brilliant. I bet you can scarcely believe Ellen is off to school. I bet it's as scary as the first day at nursery/childminder (for you). Let us know how she (/you) gets on!

BB, I was glad when you said your working from home was taking it easy. Then you mentioned that you were in Zara. ZARA? With a toddler at 34 weeks pregnant with twins? Are you out of your MIND?? You obviously operate on a whole different stratosphere from me. How are you today? Does it feel wierd that you'll be seeing your babies soon? (But not too soon).

Conkertree, how are you? Any movement yet? You're down Glasgow direction are you not? Hope all is well and not too tiring.

Bebe how's the feeding?

WFH sounds great news about the job and sounds like you're very much in control. A good place to be. I was very much NOT in control during my interview. The other 2 must have been worse though grin.

AA nice to see you! Your weekend in the Alps sounds like heaven. Great to hear how your gorgeous boys are doing too. Love A's mix of French and English.

Bicnod, you're not posting but I bet you're watching. Howare your big and little (but still quite big!) boys? Your milk must be full cream - I love the chubby little arms in your facebook photos! Girls are so different - I was comparing weights at this stage in the red books and Laura is about 2lbs less than her brother was at the same age.

I am loving my mat leave now the job worries are over. Laura is starting to get an overnight pattern although the days are still random so the fog is lifting. ToddlerWarrior is over the worst of the jealousy too and is a lovely, lively little boy. He said his longest ever sentence tonight: "I've finished my milk but I'm not going to bed; just stay in the living room, OK?". Alarming combination of language and insight grin.

SeniorWrangler Wed 31-Aug-11 20:57:14

I must confess I have not done madeleines for ages, but if you like I can experiment a bit next week, once DS1 is back at school.

SeniorWrangler Wed 31-Aug-11 20:57:34

Anyone want some posh gizzards? blush

SeniorWrangler Wed 31-Aug-11 20:58:33

What is the French for testicles? Moutonettes? Testicules? Oeufs de plaisir? Sachets de the? grin

AuldAlliance Wed 31-Aug-11 22:30:21

testicules in polite language
couilles in less polite idiom

Try pronouncing couille. It's one of those words designed specifically to trip English speakers trying to speak French.

une couille molle (a soft one) = a big girl's blouse (as we say in Edin, anyhoo) i.e. a wuss

Similarly, my first name is a total bugger for any French speaker to pronounce.
In fact my neighbour (80-odd yr-old. She of the breastfed puppy fame) decreed that my name was far too hard for anyone her age to even try and pronounce, and she'd just call me Lou. So she does. Introduces me to people as Lou, as well. If I run away from home and become a novelist in a garret, I may call myself Lou.

I am reading a student dissertation. Am bored. 11.26pm and DH is at work. Think I am past caring, sadly.

PuzzleRocks Thu 01-Sep-11 08:56:52

Sachets de the? grin We know what floats you boat SW wink [vom]

PuzzleRocks Thu 01-Sep-11 09:02:07

Zulu - She'll be fine. She's so excited and has been asking all summer to go. I get asked on an hourly basis now. I, however, may be another story.

DH is taking the day off work so we can both drop her off and collect her and he's cooking her favourite supper after school. I have also ordered some presents from Amazon which will be waiting for her. PFB much? I'll probably just sling Holly through the gates and run when it's her turn.

SeniorWrangler Thu 01-Sep-11 15:18:57

Not my boat, I have no testicules, well not of the traditional kind, anyway.

BabiesBolat Sat 03-Sep-11 15:53:14

Auld, I remember the tricks used to fill threads pre babies - didn't someone (I want to blame SW but I might be wrong) actually write a whole sentence one word per post to use up about 40?!!

Alps sounds great (although perhaps more appealing after the babies are born and I can walk more than 100m)

SW - how did you end up with a tin of them? Agree with the others, you do sound much better.

Puzz we played a similar game when were younger (but older than E&H) where I had to role off the top bunk and my sisters would catch me from underneath. They rarely did and I did break bones!!!

Zulu I am on mat leave now (well holiday for 1.5 weeks then mat leave) so no more work for me! Yes we went shopping so I could get some vest tops and cheap cardigan things for bfing. I didn't go alone - I did take my sister as DS has a habit of sitting on the floor when he doesn't want to go somewhere / do something and I physically can't get bend down far enough to get him up and he runs - FAST (too fast it's scary!)

Puzz Ah bless her and what a nice idea to some presents (you are a much nicer mummy than me, I am still debating whether to bother getting DS presents when the twins come and if so, what? - FYI he doesn't really like presents, he doesn't like all the unwrapping and bits involved with it -- I know, weird child). You are right, she will be great! DS starts nursery on Wednesday (only two half days days a week) and on the one hand it will be the best thing for him (and his speech) to go but on the other hand I am dreading walking away and leaving him there sad. Hope you are ok!

BabiesBolat Sat 03-Sep-11 16:02:31

Not much happening my end - still fat, still full of baby just no longer working so nothing else to think about apart from being fat and full of baby all day long grin. Desperately torn between wanting them to stay in until at LEAST 36 weeks for size and bfing etc and just wanting them out so I can feel relatively normal again. I'm dreading the first week or so with them in hospital (hate, hate, hate hospitals!!!) and getting used to it but cannot wait to see them and just have them here and start the process of settling in with my new family x

PuzzleRocks Sun 04-Sep-11 16:37:51

Do you have to stay in for a week then? Is that policy?

AuldAlliance Mon 05-Sep-11 10:45:44

Hang in there, BB!

I took DS1 to his new school this morning. He doesn't know a soul in his class, as we are not in the same sector as when he began maternelle. He was lost, and so was I as I didn't know where anything was or how it worked, and by the time we found his room, he was on the brink of tears. He fought them back bravely and sat down beside some kids he doesn't know (they have mostly come from the maternelle that feeds into this school, so know each other or will have familiar faces), and looked fiercely ahead to keep from crying.

The boys in his class all look a bit, erm, rough.

I want to go in and get him and give him a huge hug.

BabiesBolat Mon 05-Sep-11 12:39:31

Auld bless DS1 - what a brave little boy - here's to him running out of school today having made lots of new friends and telling you all about his good day. And you can give him lots of hugs tonight - I am already hugging K to death and he is only going two half days a week from Wednesday!

Puzz how did Ellen get on going in for her first day (or more importantly you?)

No policy is three days for CS (first day bed rest with out of bed in evening, second day basically monitoring you being 'normal' and third day discharge all being well) but I am trying to prepare myself for longer so that if I am allowed out earlier it's a bonus. HV reckons around a week is about average for twins (if they are not in SCBU) as they tend to have problems maintaining blood sugar - especially if they are small and can't get the suction right for bfing. Am a bit nervous as apparently the drs are very pro formula feeding for twins as it helps maintain their weight and blood sugar more effectively so I will apparently be 'encouraged' to top up with formula from early on - I've currently said I will top up with hand expressed bf milk and then if that doesn't work I will move on to ff top ups but only by syringe /cup, not bottle. Am 35 weeks tomorrow so one more week and hopefully they will be big enough to feed by themselves.

First day of mat leave today and it's amazing how much more chilled I am - no longer completely focused on wanting these babies out, just pottering around and getting a few things done that I have been meaning to do for weeks (like DH's expenses and filing etc - all very exciting things but actually just totted them up and his company owe us over £800! Note to self BB don't leave them that long again!!

SeniorWrangler Mon 05-Sep-11 13:50:01

BB, it sounds very off to be encouraging FF for twins. BF is encouraged for twins and premature babies in our area and there is a very busy milk bank for that exact purpose. I would question that if it was me.

I am glad you are keeping yourself occupied doing worthwhile things as you may be able to hang on to 37 weeks with a big stroke of luck, and then be out of hospital quickly and doing what you like with them. You never know. It happened like that to one of my friends and she exclusively bf them until 6 months as well - we once worked out after a bottle of wine one evening that she had produced the exact same quantity of milk as my hot water cylinder would hold. MAHOOSIVE! I can't say I would be quite that devoted ....

Can we have a new belly picture if I ask very nicely???? grin

SeniorWrangler Mon 05-Sep-11 13:51:17

Auld, frisk him for spliffs when he gets home. You can't be too careful. wink No, seriously, the fact he coped with all that so manfully shows great strength of character and deserves a big chocolate cake when he gets home, I think.

PuzzleRocks Mon 05-Sep-11 14:36:56

Oh god yes belly pics please!!!!

Auld, is he home yet?

Ellen starts on Wednesday and even DH's lip is starting to tremble a bit.

AuldAlliance Mon 05-Sep-11 15:22:33

yy to pics of tummy.
And yy to surprise that FF is encouraged for twins. Sounds as if you have slowed down, though, BB and so hopefully you will keep them in as long as you can, and then BFing will be easier. FW twins, eh!

DS1 gets out in 8 mins, am just off when I've finished my cuppa. Advantage of grotty new school is that it is 3mins walk from our house. Will stop at the pâtisserie opposite school on the way back and buy him the cake of his choice (am betting on choc éclair). I've had a knotted tummy all day. Pathetic, really.

Puzzle, have yours started school yet?

PuzzleRocks Mon 05-Sep-11 16:15:02

Not pathetic at all. Let us know how it went.

Conkertree Mon 05-Sep-11 16:21:49

Damn it. Was determined to keep up this time, but looks like I need to increase how long a thread stays on my list of threads I'm on ifswim.

Will read back later. Rushing round the house trying to tidy before fil and dh's old boss come for impromptu tea.

38 weeks now and lots of twinges/BH etc etc but nothing else so far, by the way. Still in the game with BabiesBolat, although I strongly suspect you will go first.

SeniorWrangler Mon 05-Sep-11 17:07:53

Just been to GP and he thinks I am getting better and look like a different person. Yay!

BabiesBolat Mon 05-Sep-11 17:31:50

SW I too was a bit shocked about the bf / ff thing - hence why I said I would only revert to ff if my own milk and top ups didn't work! Glad GP sees an improvement - we have just being online over the past week or so.

Auld how did he get on?

Puzz Good luck for Wednesday!

Conker I don't know - I reckon I'll be after you - I'd like to keep them in for two more weeks so chances are your LO will be here by then - I am same with BH / twinges but nothing substantial.
New belly pictures are up for a few hours - I must love you lot lots as I wouldn't let just anyone see them!!

AuldAlliance Mon 05-Sep-11 17:38:25

Excellent news, SW!!

Puzzle, I just realised that you'd said school began on Wed in yr previous post. Sorry. Comes from simultaneous MNing, tea-drinking and replying to students e-mails. Was debating whether to tell my freshly arrived Erasmus students from London that in a French uni it's best not to send e-mails to staff you've never encountered beginning, "Salut!". And wondering about another London one who asked about an appointment this week and when I said I had reception hours this Thurs replied, 'I'll be away this weekend, could I see you before Thursday?" Since when did the weekend start on Wed evening?

Conker, keep that cleaning and tidying gentle, now...! Nice to hear from you.

DS1 is fine, has a new friend, and seems happy. To judge by the brutal games he's been playing with his wee brother since he got home, he has oodles of pent-up tension to work off...

A has come home with a huge chunk bitten out of his cheek, after one of the other mindees wanted the book he was looking at.

BabiesBolat Mon 05-Sep-11 18:17:32

Auld so glad DS1 made a friend - am pretty sure most kids come home from their first day full of pent up emotion after the nerves and stress of it all. The relief must hit them like it does parents.

Bless A - am pretty sure it will be K doing the biting rather than receiving them blush Am so nervous about wednesday and how he will react - he is obsessed with girls bellies at the moment (given the size of mine that's probably not a surprise) and he keeps chasing after them and lifting their clothes up then pinching and licking tummies! Am just sure I'll be called in on week one for complaints! And he bites the wheels off of cars! It'll cost me more to replace toys than fees grin

Babies just a quick one - they were very keen to top Orbit up with FF as he was such a big baby and they said he would have trouble maintaining his blood sugar. I insisted on expressing colostrum for him to have from a syringe (he wouldn't latch for first 24 hours) and made them test his blood sugar rather than assuming it would drop. It meant a rubbish night as he had to be tested every two hours, and by the time they'd tested and then I'd expressed and fed him and changed him, it was time to start again!

It did drop a bit and I did eventually let them give him a tube feed of FF, at which point he threw up all the FF (good boy!) but also lots of mucus which had been clogging up his tummy. Apparently this is very common in CS babies as something about the birth process squeezes the mucus out of babies born naturally.

After that he fed normally (think all the mucus basically made him feel full, poor mite!) and no more top ups.

So my advice is insist on them testing the blood sugar rather than doing FF as a preventative thing, and also see if they've got a proper blood test machine, not just one of those handheld thingies diabetics use, as they're not terribly accurate.

Hope that is of some use, probably not but you never know!

Back later for more - skim read and saw SW is feeling better, hooray!

PuzzleRocks Mon 05-Sep-11 19:20:21

Auld - Sorry to hear about poor old A. What was done about it? But great that DS1 successfully navigated his first day.

BB - Damn that's a tidy tummy. And I still don't see a single line!

Hi to Conker xx

SeniorWrangler Mon 05-Sep-11 19:42:56

Wow, BB, that is a splendid tummy you have there. It's really quite pert in the side view, given the number of people living in it. Most impressive.

Speaking of big tummies, I wonder what happened to Barbarella and her triplets? Can we get in touch?

AuldAlliance Mon 05-Sep-11 19:43:04

That is a natty wee belly, BB. Very trim!

Puzzle, the CM said that she had been v cross with the biter (an angelic looking little girl...) and had told her off and put her in the naughty corner for quite a long time. The culprit was clearly aware of her sins and feeling guilty, as she wouldn't meet my gaze when the issue was being discussed. Then this evening her mother phoned to make sure A was OK and to apologise. It's just one of those things, really. A doesn't bite the other mindees, but he did pin DS1 to the sofa and sink his teeth into his back a few months ago. I'd have been very PFB had DS1 come home from the CM's with 4 visible teethmarks in his cheek, but I have changed a lot...

Interesting about the blood sugar tests, WFH.

SeniorWrangler Mon 05-Sep-11 19:44:17

Mine is like a relief map of the world, even without a baby in there.

BabiesBolat Mon 05-Sep-11 20:01:28

WFH that is really helpful - thanks. I will push for tests every couple of hours and I will be pushing for breast feed top ups as a first call if needed. I've heard about excess mucas with cs babies. Do you know any other way to relieve it bar sickness?

So far I have been really unimpressed with this hospital and their antenatal care (compared to DS' which were just brilliant). In hindsight I wish I'd pushed to go to the specialist maternity hospital an hour away but the collective thinking was that it was too far away should I need to be seen as an emergency which given my placenta issues is true!

Apparently from the people I've met post natal team are a bit lazy (hence ff pushing) with anyone not in scbu and you have to literally push for everything so I'm assuming they are going to absolutely hate me as I will be making sure things like that happen and the appropriate care is given to both babies. I'm not against ff but I'd rather they were bf'd if possible.

Haha there is one line, well three like a little cat scratch on one side but that's from DS that's just opened up again with these two. I'm hoping it will fade back like it did last time. I'm very veiny and piercings have stretched beyond belief! I'm 52 inches round at my biggest point and solid as a rock. Judging by my food intake and type, I'm sure there will be plenty of excess fat remaining when they are out though!!!

Auld glad she was suitably told off hopefully A is ok and not too traumatised by it all. Very nice of her mother to call and check on him.

Wow, that's a fantastic belly! grin

BabiesBolat Mon 05-Sep-11 20:02:46

I was also thinking about barb the other day. Not sure it would be possible unless she's still on mn. Who was her birth buddy Puzz?

Auld glad DS1's first day back went ok - at least he didn't get bitten as well! What a brave boy not crying, I would have been in floods.

My DS1 claims not to have done anything on his first day of Year One. hmm

Babies I wouldn't worry about Kara's belly obsession at nursery - from what I can gather the nursery nurses have generally seen it all and are not surprised by much! Although biting the wheels off cars is pretty impressive....grin

I don't think there is a way of bringing up the mucus short of sickness - DS1 had the same problem (also CS) and threw it all up when he was a few hours old. On the plus side, with both boys it was the FF top up that caused the sickness, and neither of them needed another one, so they didn't throw up any of the precious colostrum, and in fact didn't even take in the FF! (Not that FF is harmful in itself, I just didn't want it to interfere with establishing BF).

I was a bit cross as I'd felt a bit coerced into it, but in the grand scheme of things they both became championship breast feeders and it now seems like a very tiny issue, so although I would say stick to your guns, it's also worth keeping perspective on it - if they do it through a tube then there's no risk of nipple confusion. Sounds like I'm sitting on the fence, doesn't it!

Auld I want weekends that start on Thursdays! Back at work today after a week off and I SOOOOOOOOOOOOO don't want to be there. <<sigh>>

Helloooooo Conker! grin

AuldAlliance Mon 05-Sep-11 20:46:35

Ooh, I've just been on FB for the 1st time in ages and seen Frekkles' wedding photos! Lovely, happy ending...smile

PuzzleRocks Tue 06-Sep-11 08:37:06

Auld - That does sound as though it was handled in the best possible way.

SW - Clearly you can't keep a good woman down for long.

MrsFossil was Barbs buddy.

vezzie Thu 08-Sep-11 22:30:39

Hello everyone!
Sorry we missed the meet up, I hope you had a lovely time.
SeniorWrangler, were you really the top first in your year?! Gosh, how impressive. I didn't realise you did Maths, I thought you were some sort of social science.

Auld, lovely to hear from you. Yes, the Frekkles pictures are gorgeous, aren't they!

BB - good luck with everything. I think you are right to be tough about what you want. I struggled with this in various ways before the birth of dd2 but eventually (at 39 weeks) realised it was the only way.

(Did I tell you all my birth story? I had a CS booked when she was breech, then cancelled, then an induction booked, and then a natural birth in the end at 41 + 2)

We are all well here. I have a KIT day at work tomorrow which is a little scary. dd2 is deliciously chubby and smiley. dd1 told me today she was "a big girl" but when I asked her age she said, "2 weeks".

SeniorWrangler Fri 09-Sep-11 12:42:34

No, I most certainly was not the top first in my year, I came 5th in my year at music college (or thereabouts, anyway). And despite the fact the DfE seem determined to list me as a qualified maths teacher in their records, and refuse to be disabused of this fact, I have not studied maths past O'Level, which I took early and in which subject I have a Grade B, although I am really quite good at stats and did one term's Additional Maths in the Upper Fifth before dropping it to do more music instead. I also have two social science higher degrees.

Glad we have cleared that up grin

AuldAlliance Fri 09-Sep-11 12:50:02

Aha! <<pounces>>
SW, I need your advice re i-pods for duffers.
Have started a thread in geeky stuff, to my shame, but then thought you might be able to help.
Are you at home? Can I phone you? Have wasted hours trying to get the damn thing to work...

Hi vezzie!!!

SeniorWrangler Fri 09-Sep-11 12:56:51

In now - you can try ringing. Felix is watching CBeebies after a morning of fingerpainting and marching with tambourines and maracas to the sound of me playing Yellow Submarine on the piano. (Knackered now).

PuzzleRocks Mon 12-Sep-11 13:04:49

Any news from BB or Conker?

SeniorWrangler Wed 14-Sep-11 10:59:32

They have gone very quiet, haven't they?

I am currently having a hamster crisis.

AuldAlliance Wed 14-Sep-11 21:30:40

I can't help with the hamster issue, I'm afraid, SW. I'd be tempted to get rid of the creature, but I'm in a bit of a "there are enough hassles in life without adding more" mood.

Hope BB and Conker are doing well. And the new mums are hanging in there, knowing that the crying and sleepless nights do come to an end.

Dare I ask for more insights into how other April 2009 babies are doing on the potty training front?

DS1 did it without any hassle, so I am woefully unprepared for A, who just doesn't get it. CM and I agreed to stop trying before summer holidays, as it seemed to be causing him some anxiety. He has gone bare-bummed a bit, but frankly never done much in the potty or toilet, other than a few pees chez CM and a few pooey farts (TMI!) chez Auld.

Yesterday CM & I decided to bite the bullet, and he went into pants. Peed in pants in the morning, peed and pooed in pants in the afternoon. Fab result.

This morning I was busy with DS1 and realised A had slipped upstairs v quietly. Found him behind his cot (where he has never gone before, was as if he was hiding, he'd pulled it out away from the wall and was between it and the wall), with poo in nappy and therefore also on carpet. Barf. Cleaned up, told him we don't poo on carpet as it's dirty, showered him off, went out.

Asked several times while out if needed pee/poo, to no avail.

Came home, he peed on the terrace as soon as I left him alone for a mo.

This afternoon, got up from nap (w nappy on), and before I could change him into pants, phone rang. I came back, he said "poo" and went to the loo. Poo was in nappy, plopped into toilet when I pulled nappy down. He looked very relieved and said "good boy, Mummy?" in such a hopeful little voice. sad

DH's suggestions:
1) stress him out, tell him off, be really strict
I pointed out that he is already stressed about it.
2) get him constipated so he has to push and feels what's happening hmm shock

My feeling: he's not really ready. I'll give it 2 weeks and if there is no progress shelve Project Potty for a month or two.

God, if you have read that poo-ridden screed, you deserve a medal.

Any ideas?

SeniorWrangler Wed 14-Sep-11 21:41:33

Every time he sits on the loo or potty and has a go, give him a chocolate button. that's my tactic. wink

AuldAlliance Wed 14-Sep-11 21:45:37

Right, I'll have a scout and see what the local equivalent is, then.

SeniorWrangler Wed 14-Sep-11 21:47:40

Oh yes, and go mad with joy and excitement whenever he remotely gets it right, for example when the poo ended up in the toilet you could have applauded and said what a good boy he was to get it in there (even if it was by accident).

There is also a great book available on Amazon called Pirate Pete. Chris Evans mentioned it on air, so sales have gone mental, but it really is an excellent potty training book for boys. It has a button to press that makes it cheer at the end of every page.

SeniorWrangler Wed 14-Sep-11 21:48:49

Pirate Pete

Do you want me to post you some chocolate buttons?

SeniorWrangler Wed 14-Sep-11 21:51:32
AuldAlliance Wed 14-Sep-11 22:15:52

Don't worry about the buttons, I can do smarties or sth similar. Thanks for offering, though!
I'm v impressed with willy guard potty, the French are still a bit simplistic in their approach to such matters, and anatomical subtleties have passed them by...
Book looks excellent, just the ticket, will see if I can get doting Scottish grandmother to track it down in a real bookshop, or wait till the Evans Effect subsides.

Re books, I have been reading the Enchanted Wood & the Magic Faraway Tree to DS1. Handmedowns from a colleague. Enid Blyton did like the adjective "queer" rather a lot. I can't bring myself to read it, keep replacing it with "strange", "odd", "peculiar". Stupid really, as if I want to update vocab, I should say "weird", but it doesn't fit in with the whole "ooh, I say Dick, cried Fanny, do let's climb up that frightfully high tree" thang.

DS1 loves them. Not helping him speak like a native 6yr old, though...!

AuldAlliance Wed 14-Sep-11 22:20:04

Have just sneaked a look on Amazon (should be preparing lecture on rise of the novel. yawn) to see if they have the 3rd in the Faraway Tree series. From the blurb it seems Bessie and Fanny have become Beth and Frannie.

DS1 will freak if the characters change names half way through. Bet they speak differently an' all, y'know, all modern, like.
Must get doting grandma to trawl charity shops for old editions...!

SeniorWrangler Wed 14-Sep-11 22:24:15

I didn't know there was more than one Faraway Tree book!

AuldAlliance Wed 14-Sep-11 22:30:08

Oh, God, yes.
The Enchanted Wood
The Magic Faraway Tree
(these are 2 I inherited from colleague. Read the 2nd one first by mistake, but DS1 quite likes it that way round, he says).

Acc to Amazon there is also The Faraway Folk. I can't wait. Think I'll maybe avoid it and slip on to the Famous Five/Secret Seven. They are OK to read aloud to a 6yr old, aren't they?

ZuluWarrior Thu 15-Sep-11 09:44:52

I loved the magic faraway tree! <nostalgic>

Off to Arran next week then potty training starts in earnest so watching your progress with interest AA. I have a feeling ours is going to go the same way.....

BabiesBolat Fri 16-Sep-11 20:51:17

hello all

I am still here and STILL pg! These babies are comfy! Have a CS booked in as my placenta is now firmly wedged in the exit hole (how lovely) so just counting down the days to 38 weeks now!

Auld we have also stopped as he isn't ready. He will follow you to the toilet, give you paper and want to flush and he will occasionally wee in the potty if it's in the middle of the room and he is naked. He hates pooing and weeing in the nappy and stops and looks all awkward when he is doing it but point blank refuses to do it in the potty / toilet of his own accord. Also with the twins coming and where he stopped speaking when my sisters baby was born, the HV and I both feel this could be something he focuses on to control when they arrive so i have decided to wait until they are here and then gradually bring it back in.

Other than that not much with us. K started nursery last week and has HUGE separation issues. I am having a bit of a battle with them and how they deal with his delayed speech and tears when mummy drops him off but think we have finally come round a corner and seem to have agreed on the best way ahead (after they saw today that my way worked and theirs didn't!! grin). Not that I like to be right or anything...

Hope everyone is ok - SW just seen your PM will come back over the weekend.


PuzzleRocks Fri 16-Sep-11 21:16:04

Oh. I saw your name and got all excited. Sorry you have a tricky exit hole. grin

I am very excited this evening as I have been making plans to meet some old friends soon, one of whom I haven't seen since she moved to Oz 5 years ago. My ex used to call us the toxic twins so should be a fun evening.

SeniorWrangler Fri 16-Sep-11 21:33:37

Gosh BB, they are nearly here!! I am glad the cs decision has been made for you by events. I didn't want to say before but one of my friends had twins recently and had the first the old fashioned way but then ended up having the second through the sunroof anyway, so the worst of both worlds!

BoffinMum Fri 16-Sep-11 22:16:30

I have decided to come back with my old name! grin

AuldAlliance Sun 18-Sep-11 17:58:49

Welcome back, Boff! Will save me erasing yr name in my posts and replacing with SW. I hadn't adjusted to your new identity.

Sorry about exit hole issues BB. You sound v chilled, though, I am impressed.

Puzzle, how was the wild evening?

We have had several pees in the potty, and in the toilet. And a poo in the potty this morning. PROGRESS!! It is slowly happening... And his pleasure at getting it right is a joy to behold.

MIL is here, as lovely CM can't take Alex tomorrow or Tues. All going OK so far. Think I am too knackered to be stressed by her. I seem to have mislaid 3kg due to vile and ongoing tummy bug. I look like death and my juggling act is failing dismally so I am tripping over dropped balls all the time. MIL is small cheese in this scenario, really. Every cloud an' all that!

ZuluWarrior Sun 18-Sep-11 22:17:38

Bloody hell AA. You didn't have 3kg to lose! You sound knackered. Are you OK?

Welcome back Boff.

My baby has slept about 20 hours a day for the last 2 days. Is that in any way normal? She is 9 weeks. She did have her first jags on Friday. I'm not complaining like. It's just a bit eerie compared to the normal evening screamfest....

BoffinMum Sun 18-Sep-11 22:23:17

I happen to know Auld's BMI as she put it into my Wii Fit and it is completely perfect and I am well jealous. envy

Zulu, that sounds too long to me. How is the feeding?

AuldAlliance Mon 19-Sep-11 06:01:46

Sounds quite long, Zulu, but might be a reaction to the jags. If it continues, I'd maybe start asking questions.

I am slipping down to the lower end of acceptable BMI now. Things are not really OK, TBH. I thought they were a bit better, but since the end of the holidays and my return to a 100% workload at work, they have been sliding out of control again.
DH and I had a horrendous attempt at a "conversation about the state of affairs" last night, which ended with me in uncontrollable tears and him furious and aggressive/defensive/sarky.
We are mired in utter mutual incomprehension, and I am lost for ways to explain how I feel in a way he can grasp.

ZuluWarrior Mon 19-Sep-11 06:18:09

AA, didn't think you sounded OK. I have always hated big chats with DH and always find myself in floods despite pep talks to myself beforehand. The bottom lip starts trembling as soon as I start talking. You've presumably tried the other ways of getting your point across (letter/e-mail etc)?

ZuluWarrior Mon 19-Sep-11 06:20:48

Feeding is fine Boff- she does every 2-3 hours during the day, 3-4 hours at night. We sometimes get 10 or 15 mins of smiling and kicking then it's off back to sleep again...

bebemoo Mon 19-Sep-11 09:25:54

Just running in and running out...

all is well with Moo (who's enjoying her 8yo cousin's visit) and Woo (who's fussy with reflux really, but at least is feeding unlike Moo at this time)

helllooooo my lovelies! xxx hope you're well

BoffinMum Mon 19-Sep-11 11:56:53

AA, that sounds very sad. Can you go for counselling together?

AuldAlliance Mon 19-Sep-11 12:43:32

We could try, Boff. Not sure the French go in for it much, and God knows when we'd find the time, TBH, since he is out from dawn till well past dusk.

When I experience things, they seem so clear to me, and then when I talk to him I start wondering whether I am totally unreasonable/insane/deluded.

Last week, I had a fraught evening where after a meeting I got home around 7:15pm with 2 crotchety, hungry kids, started cooking supper, promptly ran out of gas, decided to feed them bread and cheese only to discover that DH -who "hadn't been eating in" the previous evening - had finished off all the cheese in the night. I asked him the next evening if, when he finished sth, he could write it on the board so I know to replace it. He said it was too much faff and I should just open the fridge and see what's in it if I want to know.

I don't know if I am being pathetic, but it made me furious. I am in danger of turning into a manic AIBU poster: "AIBU to ask my husband to write "fromage" on the whiteboard?"

He just doesn't get the logistics of life with kids, because he has never dealt with it for longer than a weekend and doesn't "do" planning ahead. He thinks I am all uptight about how much I do and how much effort/thought it requires. I am tired and heartsore and I just don't know how to fix this.

PuzzleRocks Mon 19-Sep-11 14:42:24

Shit Auld I don't think you are being pathetic. In isolation it would seem a bit ott, and I suspect that's how your DH sees it? But it's the cumulative effect. That was the problem when DH got a bollocking and I had a showdown recently.
Could you write everything down so when you do get a chance to talk you know exactly what you want to say?

BoffinMum Mon 19-Sep-11 19:30:12

TBH I think he hasn't quite appreciated what having a working mother as a wife actually entails. He is behaving as though you have the entire day to stock up the fridge, check gas levels, worry about school runs and service the entire family without properly taking into account the emotionally draining nature of these mundane tasks, and the negative consequences if they are not done properly. He is treating you at best as a flatmate and at worst as his own mum or nanny.

There are three possible ways forward as I see it. The first way is to hire help for the after school side of things, so someone can do a bit of cooking, cleaning, childcare, and offer general support. We are probably talking au pair, with all the hassle associated with having a young person in your home.

The second way is to become a kind of superwoman and spend your life planning weekly menus, stocking up vast store cupboards, having completely perfect home storage solutions, and running your home like some kind of military exercise. Rather exhausting but at least you have a sense of control and fewer cheese/gas crises as systems could be designed to accommodate your DH when necessary.

Lastly you could find counselling and get the message across that you are in fact Scottish and not French, which he knew when he married you, and an intelligent working woman in a high pressure job, and if he doesn't wise up to how exhausted you are, dreadful things might happen to the mother of his children (cite what happened to me if you like). That would probably bring him up short and provide a more lasting solution.

ZuluWarrior Mon 19-Sep-11 22:06:23

What Boff said. Easier said than done though. Agree with Puzz that it's worth writing it down though - I never manage to get across what I mean to say in the heat of the moment, and even if he never sees what you've written it might help to sort out things in your own heid at least xx

ZuluWarrior Mon 19-Sep-11 22:07:22

Plus, I spend lots of time reading the AIBU threads during night feeds now. Looking forward to yours smile.

AuldAlliance Tue 20-Sep-11 15:14:52

BB has twins!!!!!!!

BoffinMum Tue 20-Sep-11 15:40:53

Two baby girls born just after midnight! Emergency CS but they are all fine. Around the 6lb mark, both of them. grin

AuldAlliance Tue 20-Sep-11 16:18:10

Boff, I replied to yr e-mail, but mine was returned with some nonsense about a blacklist...

AuldAlliance Tue 20-Sep-11 20:46:10

Conker has had a boy. This morning. Fergus Thomas born 8.48.
Momentous day for the FWs!

BoffinMum Tue 20-Sep-11 22:48:59

Funnily enough I emailed Conker today about kilts ... but I imagine she was just a bit busy!

If that email isn't working it means some idiot gave away their login details and hotmail or whatever has blacklisted us all again. Try my other one (I will send it).

AuldAlliance Thu 22-Sep-11 09:01:34

Boff & Zulu, I have been rudely not responding to your advice, but have not had much time over the past few days.

MIL was here and then on Tues a friend and her son came to spend the night because he has chess club in our town and she has swimming later the same evening. She has recently split from her partner and has come up with the natty solution of sleeping here every Tues evening so as to be able to do her swimming w/o babysitting problems. Fond as I am of her and much as I sympathise with the 'I need someone to be in the house while the kids sleep so I can do an activity' issue, I am not sure how compatible this lovely plan is with my already hectic life. Especially since they stayed till 3pm yesterday...

I do agree that counselling is probably the best route. Now I just have to put it to him. He has been subdued since our dismal attempt at a discussion, but has made no allusion to it at all. Nor can I see any perceptible glimmer of understanding of what I tried to say.

BoffinMum Thu 22-Sep-11 13:00:00

Just march him down there. Auld.
And tell your friend you're having tough times and can't always be a free babysitter at the moment, even though you are sympathetic. Or get her to do the ironing in return or something. wink

BabiesBolat Fri 23-Sep-11 09:56:52

Auld, it's a difficult situation for us to comment on but I think ultimately DH has a choice, either he listens to you and you both attempt to change things for the better together or he doesn't and you both deal with the consequences of that. Counselling could well work but I think you won't be able to get to that point until he understands the need for it which is your biggest challenge - writing it down to collect your thoughts will help. Could you get someone to have the kids and you both agree to spend and evening discussing your marriage and where you go from here, what you both want?

BabiesBolat Fri 23-Sep-11 09:57:30

Right, I know I am late with it but...

Birth story from BB x

So Monday 19th September started off relatively normally. Beyto left at 7 for a week away in Gloucester with work. Mum and my sister took Karahan out shopping for the day they needed to go a bit further than town to pick some bits up so I was left under the care of my father who was leaving for work at 1.30 that day so I would only be alone for 2 hours (you forget I am a full grown adult).

Dad was plumbing in the bathroom trying to fix a leaky tap on the bath (cue memories of him fixing my bathroom when I was in labour with DS with no water etc – SNAP!). Plumbing failed but there was lots of banter at home about when I was going to hospital that day as dad was plumbing!

Went to midwife appointment, all was fine, told her about potential leaky waters and period pain and she said it might be a slowly starting off but she couldn’t see anything that implied it was happening any time soon.

Off dad went and K returned home about 3.30. We played in the garden had a little bounce on the trampoline (no more than normal). I was knackered as had a bad night sleep so I went to lay on the sofa about 4pm and watch Greys Anatony DVDs while my sister entertained the monster! After about 5-10 minutes I felt a warm sensation (but not gush) in my underwear. I’d been a bit paranoid that my waters were slowly leaking (or that my pelvic floors were shot) so I went to the bathroom to check... Bathroom was busy so don’t know why but decided to have a little feel and realised my hand was covered in blood. Called my mum to take me to the hospital and went into the bathroom. My underwear and trousers were soaked through with blood and I had a horrendous amount of what looked like blood clots but I later learned were chunks of the placenta in my underwear. After getting myself sorted, sending my sister off to get my hospital bag and new clothes for me to put on etc, I called the labour ward who wanted me to get an ambulance in but it was quicker for me to be driven in. We drove in were hooked up to CTG and blood loss monitored.

As with every CTG the twins were flicking between tracking brilliantly and falling off the machine. Blood loss calmed down to ‘period type’ levels. The day team finished at 5 and handed over to night team. My new consultant and midwife were without doubt the best medical people I have ever dealt with. Completely honest and open about everything. The day staff had been very flakey and just said ‘let’s wait and see if we can get you as close to your elective CS as possible which was booked in for 26th) but these two were just fantastic. The midwife stayed with me the entre time, (bar going out to talk to consultant / get paperwork etc), she kept me up to date of every conversation had about me with any medical team and got the consultant to explain everything to me. They were really honest and said that they would really like me to get through the night so they could deliver the babies in the maternity theatre the next day where they had enough pediatricians and anesthetists to support me as a section that night would mean emergency surgery in the main hospital and they were worried they didn’t have enough staff to cope (labour ward was busy at that point). So that looked set to be the plan, sent mum home about 8.30 as it was pointless us both sitting around and not getting any sleep and come back the next morning (DH was still away but was not coming into surgery with me regardless so I was to call him when we knew a time so he could be there waiting for me to come out).

I’d been having on and off tightening for a week or so and these carried on while on the ctg but at 9am the proper contractions as I would call them started – 3 minutes apart and blood loss started to increase. By 10am I was being monitored every 20 minutes by the consultant who said that again ideally I would get through the night but it was looking less likely. Midwife (who I loved) said to me to call mum in as based on her experience she thinks I will be in theatre in less than four hours. By 11pm they were 1 minute apart and the decision was made to do an emergency c-section as I was losing too much blood and contractions were too strong for me to cope. I don’t think I had realised how serious it was until there was an emergency callout on the hospital. Anesthetist came and tried to get me to have a general which I refused point blank to do unless there was an emergency situation which consultant agreed with and I was taken over to the emergency theatre and everyone was rushing around getting it all ready. I got a bit freaked out at that point but tried to hold it all together as they were talking me through everything. Spinal took a few attempts to get in and midwife was explaining everything to me. There was so much going on, I was hooked up to ctg machines, drips, injections put in, arm strapped to the table. They were all brilliant keeping me talking about random rubbish while they set up around me (I wouldn’t normally see any of that), spinal went in, final tests done, screen up and it started.

One of the surgical team talked me through everything , twin one he could see hair, I heard it cry (sounded just like DS). I asked him what it was, he asked if I really wanted to know – and told me it was a girl. Lots more crying and rummaging around and out came a bum and then the whole of twin two three minutes later. I asked them again, they couldn’t believe I wanted to know before seeing them – they told me it was another girl. To say I was shocked was an understatement everyone was convinced I was having one of each (including me). I couldn’t hear any crying. Twin one was bought over to me and we had head snuggles while they worked on twin 2 and sewed me up. Twin two was bought over, the pediatrician told me that they had to work on her a bit as she wasn’t pinking up as fast as they would have wanted but she only needed a bit of oxygen and they would keep an eye on her for a bit but she seemed absolutely fine. Shortly after we were taken to the post natal ward cuddling my babies and DH arrived about 30 minutes later. He couldn’t believe he had two girls. He couldn’t get his head round it. They let him stay on the post natal ward for an hour and then had to leave.

Post natal for the first 12 hours was pretty horrible until I made them get me out of bed so I could move and get dressed and the contrast in care compared to labour ward was horrendous but was discharged after one day after which made it more bearable. So that’s it, I have two beautiful baby girls at home and their big brother who is amazing me more at his coping abilities every day. I am tired. A bit sore from constant feeding and tummy is slightly tender but overall not as bad as recovery from the internal stitches I had with DS.

All in all (bar post natal care) absolutely great experience.

BabiesBolat Fri 23-Sep-11 09:58:43

Sorry forgot to say Edith-May Bolat was born at 00.44 on 20th September 2011 followed by her sister Ayse-Rose Bolat at 00.47.


PuzzleRocks Fri 23-Sep-11 10:22:57

Great story BB. I can remember thinking how strange it must have been for DH to come and meet Holly, being that he wasn't at the birth, so arriving to meet two new daughters must have been quite something.
DH and I were both cooing over the girls last night, they look so adorable snuggled up together. You have a very beautiful family.

BoffinMum Fri 23-Sep-11 11:20:16



BB never ceases to amaze me.

ZuluWarrior Fri 23-Sep-11 14:57:48

Wow BB. if I was your anaesthetist I would have shit myself. And you make it sound like another day in the office. You are amazing smile. Enjoy your gorgeous family xx

AuldAlliance Mon 26-Sep-11 20:29:43

BB, that is some story... you never cease to amaze me.

Just dashing in to say encouragingly to anyone potty training that, after his inauspicious start, A has really got it sussed now.
He goes off to the toilet all by himself, does his business and then calls me, "Mummy, me fais poo/pee in toilet!!", before saying, "Bravo, Aless, good boy, bye bye poo/pee" and flushing. He is so proud of himself, it's great. And he seems to have inherited a guid, Scots, pint-drinker's bladder, as he can go for ages w/o peeing. (TMI, sorry...!! CM mentioned his, erm, capacity today as she was v impressed.) Very few accidents indeed, even when visiting snooty French museums, which we rashly did yesterday.

Just goes to show, no point doing it till they're ready.

PuzzleRocks Mon 26-Sep-11 20:48:04

Ooh pretty thanks

BoffinMum Mon 26-Sep-11 21:06:46

thanks Pretty indeed. I am very jealous, Auld. I have put Felix back in pull ups. He will perform every time I put him on the potty and even uses the loo without a special toddler seat on it, but he can't take himself off to the loo by himself yet.

BabiesBolat Fri 30-Sep-11 11:29:04

Ah Boff, it was a relatively easy bounce. We have been bouncing daily as DS adores it and won't let me not go on it but I was feeling tired so we only had a little one!

Haha Zulu, I think he wasn't expecting me to be quite so forthright in my desire not to have a general but i genuinely couldn't imagine not being awake when the babies arrived. The surgical team were amazing, considering how worried they were about the need for transfusions etc, they were in and out within an hour.

Auld, how are things going?

Puzz, I know bless him, I wouldn't tell him what we had until he got there so he as just so shocked.

Hope everyone is ok - we are all doing really well - tired but not too bad. Girls are above their birth weight so all discharged from mw team. Sorry to post and run, being pulled away from the computer by DS!!

TheProdigalGuimauve Fri 30-Sep-11 11:47:19

<Nonchalant stroll>

PuzzleRocks Fri 30-Sep-11 12:57:36

Where the hell did I put my fattened calf?

TheProdigalGuimauve Fri 30-Sep-11 13:21:58

I ate it already.

ZuluWarrior Fri 30-Sep-11 13:53:35

Good lord. I've seen it all now.

BoffinMum Fri 30-Sep-11 19:51:48

I think of you every time I take drugs, but in a good way grin

AuldAlliance Fri 30-Sep-11 20:07:22

Well, hello!!
I think of you every time I see squidgy French marshmallows. That sugary flavour shall now and forever be tinged with a slightly veal-y hint. Odd combo.

How are you?

BB, we had a calm, constructive conversation last weekend and things are improving. I am cautiously optimistic not quite as close as I was to legging it out the door with a Thelma and Louise style headscarf on my head in order drive through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in my hair.

TheProdigalGuimauve Fri 30-Sep-11 20:48:45


Boff, I think of you every time....well, every time you pop up in my RSS feed! I'm working on my austerity, though I lack willpower. I liked your name change. He was Born to Rune (or was that The Dean?).

Auld, I think of you every time I see a Tunnock's Tea Cake. Or a Tunnock's Caramel Wafer. Or every time I talk to anyone about fanjo physio (just yesterday, for example)!

I have an eye that looks like chopped liver and a chest that appears to smoke 60 a day, but apart from that I am very well. I think I'm starting an MSc in just over a week <panic>.

So, how many additional babies have there been that I haven't detected through FB? I seem to recall Swali was pregnant again, but that was probably years ago now.

bebemoo Fri 30-Sep-11 21:08:42

I want to be able to catch up with you all, but I don't ever seem to have the time (or energy)

If anyone knows of some really great bf links abt oversupply (already googled and read the obvious) and reflux please FB me....Gwen while she is eating and putting on weight has problems with the feeds and has only green poos now and is v v fussy. Ideas and thoughts also appreciated (the crying screams are getting to me a bit) but I'm not sure when I'm going to be able to be able to check back here.

Good to see you again Gui
Boff hope you're well.

Thinking of all the other babies and hope the mums and babes are doing well.

Hope everyone is doing well.

BoffinMum Fri 30-Sep-11 21:33:34

Express some of the foremilk and freeze it, and put her on a bit later on in the feed so she gets the richer stuff. That might help.

BB3 Sat 01-Oct-11 06:32:30

Morning all - tis babies (although my new name is hardly difficult to work out BUT it is short and very easy to type when trying to log in with one hand!)

Gui hello! Good luck with the Msc. How is Hugo?

Auld that sounds really positive - although I did have a very funny image of you legging it out the door in your headscarf and shades! Fingers crossed it continues to go well!

bebe it's a tough one - what has the midwife / HV said about it? I know the colour of their poo is one of their obsessions in the early days so does she have any advice to help you get more milk into G so it goes through more effectively and reaches that lovely pickled yellow colour? I think, if it were me, I would express one bottle and feed G that once a day so I could determine how much she is / isn't taking and it would also help relieve some of the pressure of oversupply.

Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine. We have nutts and the girls over today for trampolining and picnics outside and then off to a work BBQ thing this evening. Ede decided to be a little madam last night and refuse to sleep from about 3am, then after finally going off on DH about 5, K decided 5.30 was wake up time. [falling asleep as I type emoticon!] YAWN!!!

PuzzleRocks Sat 01-Oct-11 19:00:09

Ooh enjoy your bbq. We are waiting for DH to come home after a week away. Has anyone else been watching Planet Dinosaur? I have recorded a few and the girls are watching it now with their eyes popping out.

BoffinMum Sat 01-Oct-11 19:20:13

My lot are watching Dr Who. There seems to be a extra child in there who also seems to be awaiting Wiener Schnitzel. Busy and hot here.

AuldAlliance Sat 01-Oct-11 19:51:35

Hot here too. Has been 29° for about four months now. Gorgeous dawns and sunsets recently. Tractors taking grapes to the winery all day long, much to A's delight when they go by.

Enjoy the BBQ, the schnitzel, and the return of Mr Puzzle (Mr Rocks sounds somehow improper wink).

Bebe, I have no real advice, but hope you find a solution that works soon.

I have a really dull and wanky article to translate, which will hopefully pay for me to buy some nice new winter boots, but I think I'll drink wine and watch DVDs of Desperate Housewives instead. I have decided after my (ungramamtical, I note) refs to headscarves and Lucy Jordan that I need to watch Thelma & Louise and relive my youth. £2.99 on amazon: would be rude not to, really.

I am planning a trip to London for Nov. Probably the week beginning the 14th. Anyone fancy a drink/meal out? I think Boff is game...

BB3 Sat 01-Oct-11 21:19:00

Yay auld, I'm in. X

PuzzleRocks Sun 02-Oct-11 10:50:03

I'm in too.

Auld - he once earned the nickname Machine. I won't explain why.

BoffinMum Sun 02-Oct-11 22:34:30

Was 31C here yesterday, 27C today. I was at the market yesterday buying huge figs and sun-ripened tomatoes and so on, and for a moment I wondered if I had had a Dr Who moment and ended up being transported to Auld's neck of the woods, it felt so like the South of France. Today we harvested grapes at the cottage, and I picked luscious blackberries and loads of pears. I shall be busy jamming and bottling tomorrow, I think. In fact I feel an austerity blog post coming on.

PuzzleRocks Mon 03-Oct-11 10:43:06

Here too, I was wearing a sundress more suited to a 10 year old. It's been years since I flashed so much flesh.

ZuluWarrior Mon 03-Oct-11 16:24:22

15 degrees and horizontal rain here. I had on a pair of very fetching waterproof trousers grin.

BB3 Mon 03-Oct-11 16:35:18

Blardy boiling here! girls are in nappies only and I look a delight in my vest top and pj bottoms with my post op belly and unsupported milk machines but its too hot for any more layers!!!

AuldAlliance Tue 04-Oct-11 13:49:40

<<runs in>>

How does Friday 18th Nov sound for a meetup? Drink/ meal in the evening?

<<runs out, pretending world revolves around her>>

BB3 Tue 04-Oct-11 14:08:53

Works for me - it's only a few days before my birthday so I can easily justify a night of drinking not worrying about bfing! wink

TheProdigalGuimauve Tue 04-Oct-11 15:44:56

Well, I'm in London that day for my course, so there's no way I can not go, is there wink Depending on where you're planning on going and what time, I may need to avail of someone's hospitality for an hour or two, to save me wandering the streets of Lunnun like a wastrel.

Thanks for the luck BB. Hugo is very well, thanks. Chattering away, loving nursery, still as in love as ever with anything that has wheels.

Good work on the blackberries Boff, getting in a last few before thee devyl piffes on them. I've not picked any this year, though there is still the occasional strawb popping up, and the tomatoes are finally coming in to their own.

Hope the milk supply is settling down a little Bebe.

I persisted in wearing jeans with a vest and a t-shirt, even when it was 30C.


BoffinMum Tue 04-Oct-11 19:53:53

I believe I may have access to a central London club where we could have tea and biccies while waiting. If this is the case I can look into it as an option and see if something can be organised. Last time I went there it was crap gastronomically, but very old school posh and geographically convenient. Might be good for a laff.

AuldAlliance Tue 04-Oct-11 19:55:49

Ooh, promising, promising!

Hope others can make it. I thought I'd wait and see if the date suited people on here and then post on the FW FB page.
I may well be wandering the streets of Lunnun too, Gui so we could have a swift drink wander together before meeting others. I have never been to such an event and may need Dutch courage.

What is the MSc in, BTW? Glad H is well.

BB, your stamina is just amazing.

DS1 has just read me a story!! A milestone. A repetitive traditional French kids' story, but still...

AuldAlliance Tue 04-Oct-11 20:26:08

x-posted with Boff. Tea and biccies in London club sounds good...

TheProdigalGuimauve Tue 04-Oct-11 20:31:29

Ooh, a secret liaison in an exclusive club! Best wear other than ripped jeans and trainers then! Can live with gastronomically crap as long as there is some tea to drink and people to watch.

I have no idea what to wear for the course anyway. I am a Mature Student for the first time, I believe (though what exactly does that mean?). There will be doctor-types and other healthcare-y people (the MSc is in Quality and Safety in Healthcare, Auld - just a part-time thing). Should I start off smart, just in case, or go straight for student grunge?

I too have never been to such an event. I have very briefly pondered the Big Xmas Meet-up, but would definitely not have the nerve. It would be like going to a party with a load of celebs.

Lovely DS1, reading you a story! H reads stories to Gladly Bear. They all start 'One sunny morning..', then ramble off merrily in all manner of directions. It is very sweet.

BoffinMum Tue 04-Oct-11 21:18:10

Black trousers and a coloured top usually does the job Gui.

Slebs my grin

ZuluWarrior Tue 04-Oct-11 22:27:59

Oh, quality and safety in healthcare. I had to mug up on that for my consultant interview. Was very interesting but a tad dry- I have a friend who makes a career out of it. Very important and topical stuff though.

I don't often wish I lived closer to London but am jealous of your meetup envy.

AuldAlliance Tue 04-Oct-11 22:46:53

Zulu, we'll have a Scots meet up soon, dinnae fret! With, erm, you and me and Conker. Quality, not quantity wink.

Have sent messages to Bicnod and Vezzie to see if the 18th suits them. Would you be able to make it then, Puzzle as I intend to torture you until you reveal the story behind the Machine?

BB3 Wed 05-Oct-11 01:09:19

I know it's ages away but I'm in Scotland next June for a week at a friends wedding / mini holiday thing based in Edinburgh but able to travel round fairly easily!!

Ah GUI another wheelaholic! K lays on the floor and just watches them go round as he zooms the car (when he's not trying to chew the buggers off!!!)

Yay I'll ask nutts when she comes for dinner Thursday and can drop springy a text too xx

PuzzleRocks Wed 05-Oct-11 09:49:21

Just a flying visit as I should be working; 18th sounds good to me.

AuldAlliance Wed 05-Oct-11 13:40:34

Good! Looking hopeful for the 18th, then.
We could shift over to FB and try and find an appropriate venue.
Am quite excited about this!

BoffinMum Wed 05-Oct-11 13:43:16

I am in the process of potentially scuppering this as DS1 is getting confirmed that weekend ... watch this space.

TheProdigalGuimauve Wed 05-Oct-11 14:28:10

I have done a FB event.

TheProdigalGuimauve Wed 05-Oct-11 14:31:26

Or even created a FB event. 'Done' makes it sound like I did some kind of circus performance. Blame it on a small boy saying 'no scuter Mummy, no scuter'.

AuldAlliance Wed 05-Oct-11 14:37:04

<<applies brakes>>

Would the previous Sat work (12th) for others?

TheProdigalGuimauve Wed 05-Oct-11 14:52:44

No, no brakes. ALL AHEAD FULL!

AuldAlliance Wed 05-Oct-11 14:54:34

12th doesn't work for Boff, either.


BB3 Wed 05-Oct-11 14:59:44

The 18th isn't a definite no for Boff though is it?

BoffinMum Wed 05-Oct-11 16:47:38

Don't plan around me - I am too busy really both weekends.

BB3 Mon 10-Oct-11 19:26:28

Hey ladies

Sorry to post asking a question and not catching up but Ayse-Rose has a small umbilical hernia (always has) but getting her changed tonight I noticed her belly button was bleeding and weeping quite a bit. Is this normal? Have cleaned it up and phoned NHS direct - they are calling me back but wanted to pick your brains as to whether it's something I should worry about and go and get checked out. Dx

BoffinMum Mon 10-Oct-11 20:01:32

It sounds like a minor infection or something. If it was me I would leave it overnight, unless the bleeding was unstoppable, and see the GP first thing. Of course if you think the bleeding is getting worse, then go to A and E.

BB3 Mon 10-Oct-11 20:42:11

Blimey boff, you should work for the helpline. That's exactly what they said but took them an hour to call me back and tell me! Thanks - bleeding has stopped just looks sore now so going to keep an eye on it and call dr first thing. X

AuldAlliance Mon 10-Oct-11 21:18:32

Hope it turns out to be a little infection, BB.

And hope everyone else is well and the babies/toddlers too. A is a real charmer, but a right stroppy beggar with it. His talking is great fun, though. "Me pas want the livre" is a classic example.

DS1 has just been elected vice (boy) class rep and is dead chuffed. I am distinctly unchuffed with some of the nonsense his teacher writes in his homework diary and on his work, but that's a whole other can of worms thread I can't be bothered to open.

I've just returned from an amazing seminar by a philosophy professor from Birkbeck. Razor sharp, really clear, and lovely and modest with it. They don't make them like that around these parts.
I am so superficial I wanted to ask her where her shoes were from, as they were equally lovely. Didn't dare exploit the question session about Hume's approach to the passions for frivolous purposes, though I was trying to work in an allusion to my passion for her footwear. wink

Weather forecast for tomorrow: lows of 9° at morning school run time. Highs of 29° mid-afternoon. Some cunning layering will be needed to clothe the boys! 10°-31° on Tuesday.

I am relying on someone who knows London to find a venue for the 18th. I trust this is not overly presumptuous on my part. I am so clueless about London that it would be foolish to count on me. And if anyone wants any French goodies, place your orders! <<rash emoticon>>

TheProdigalGuimauve Mon 10-Oct-11 22:02:10

Hope Ayse-Rose's little tim is okay BB.

Auld, I know very little of London. I have a passing awareness of a tapas place in Mayfair, will have a working knowledge of another tapas place in Kings-X after Friday, and am a big fan of the Hare and Tortoise (noodles) near Russell Square. Oh, and the champagne bar at St Pancras looks very nice indeed! That's my limit!

BB3 Tue 11-Oct-11 04:27:39

What sort of food does everyone want and roughly what station is best to be close too (am thinking Waterloo for the Richmond / Kingston ladies) but if there is others we can position ourselves in the middle. I'll look up a couple of options for us once we know what type of food we are after dx

auld yay for ds1 bring chosen. Do share your homework frustrations - I'm having a few issues with ds' nursery teacher so it's nice to know others get annoyed too! And yay for a's speech. K is starting to use the odd word again here and there and his gibbering has reached record levels of excitement so think we are making some progress finally x fingers crossed! He's a bit of a terror though - woke up in the most mischievous mood yesterday and amongst many other things, broke the tv control by biting off the buttons, snapped my glasses (angry) tipped over the twins' changing water twice then proceeded to lay in it the second time whilst in fresh pjs and just generally caused chaos. All done with that cheeky angelic smile he has mastered!! Still today is a new day...

AuldAlliance Tue 11-Oct-11 15:03:26

Not French food. Please. wink
Tasty? (helpful emoticon)

I have no real location requirements, as I have several accommodation options, so it's best if we are handy for station(s) for those from further afield.

Vezzie is coming too...!

ZuluWarrior Tue 11-Oct-11 21:22:27

BB3 I love that you can be so articulate at 4.30am. Am I'm not surprised at all. I can barely stay conscious for night feeds at the moment. Often jolt awake after having nodded off with baby on boob.

My toddler is hideous at the moment. Push push pushing the boundaries all the time. It's exhausting. However, he has mastered the potty in a week flat (using Boff's chocolate button bribery grin. And my baby settles herself to sleep by sucking her fingers. I'm so glad I got the easy baby second - we would've got a big fright otherwise.

BB I'm sure you've seen the GP by now. A bit of a clean with cooled boiled water with some salt in and keep an eye on it I reckon.

ZuluWarrior Tue 11-Oct-11 21:23:18

Missing ) there blush.

ZuluWarrior Tue 11-Oct-11 21:45:04


BB3 Sun 16-Oct-11 17:31:39

Haha! Unfortunately the girls are choosing that time to be up for a couple of hours so im having to make myself wake up!

Toddler boundary pushing in this house too!

Cool will look up some options this week and we can vote on best one x

Thanks for all the advice on her belly button - ended up in hospital on Thursday as she had a very very nasty rash that started on her tummy and spread all over her body within a couple or hours. Dr couldn't diagnose it so sent us in for peads to check her over. She has a nasty viral infection but is much better now (although very clingy still and refusing to be put down after she's been cuddled constantly for a few days while she's been suffering!) but a little way to go until we are completely there xx

Hope everyone is ok - boff I promise to get back to your email ASAP this week.

BoffinMum Sun 16-Oct-11 22:35:48

Gosh, that sounds awful. I hope she continues to get better.

Don't worry about the email ... it sounds like you have your hands rather full at the moment!

AuldAlliance Sun 16-Oct-11 22:55:56

BB, that sounds scary. Hope she gets better very soon, and you get some respite.

It is a bit manic here, for a change, but I have been lurking as usual. Hope everyone is OK....

bebemoojem Mon 17-Oct-11 08:54:09

BB hope lo is better.

Hope everyone is well.

First week as a full time parent Mon-Fri...wish me luck!

PuzzleRocks Mon 17-Oct-11 20:56:20

Just a quickie to send my love to you all, especially little Ayse-Rose xx

AuldAlliance Mon 17-Oct-11 21:57:46

Good luck, bebe!

bebemoojem Tue 18-Oct-11 10:58:15

day one was easy; night one not so much as Moo was up during the night...
here goes day 2 with a little less sleep then I'd prefer, too bad I've limited my caffeine intake trying to make things better/easier with my supersensitive Jem (formally babyWoo)

How is everyone else? Are you feeling happy? Enjoying the autumny weather? (I always get excited this time of year- it fills me with anticipation -I think because going to school/Uni was such a great time in my life) Looking forward to end of the year/Christmas? (Cannot believe how everyone is going on about it already!! Some of the women I know are done shopping! -where's the fun in that?!?wink)
Not going home for Thanksgiving this year as we're skint until money from Dh's new permanent job comes in which should be end of Nov...too much time off has stretched us to the limits. BUT we're hoping to be able to go home for x-mas this year!! smile which could/should be great fun smile


PuzzleRocks Tue 18-Oct-11 11:02:18

I love this time of year too. I must confess I have bought most of the girls presents. I like to spread the cost.

bebemoojem Tue 18-Oct-11 11:06:32

Yes Moo's presents are mostly bought now (I've been eyeing a duplo pirate ship on ebay to get yet)...tho I find if I do too much too early I actually spend WAY more money because I keep buying.

BB3 Tue 18-Oct-11 14:19:27

'ello all.

Thanks for the well wishes, the little bleeder is fine just now got some bad nappy rash from from her upset tummy (hence my permanently metonium-stained hands) and the girl is refusing to be put down at night and only sleeping on me or beyto. I refused last night and took her til 4.30 to finally give in. I'm dying!!! But she's a character I'll give her that!

Bebe good luck for your first week I'm alone with the three kids from Friday for a week - dh back in turkey and family on holiday. I'll have my sister here which may just save my sanity!

BB3 Tue 18-Oct-11 14:23:00

Oh and Christmas is my favourite time of the year I love love love it! I've picked up a few bits for friends' kids etc in the tesco half price toy sale but I can't start my shopping until the decorations are up! And I like to do one big huge weekend of it so the car is stacked full of presents and I'm laden with bags grin then home to wrap them all up whilst watching miracle on 34th street xx yay for going home for Christmas bebe - we are contemplating going to visit Beytos family over new year but it's looking less likely as flights are a nightmare x

bebemoojem Tue 18-Oct-11 20:02:27

So my tear has reopened after only closing up a week ago... sad Along with screamy kids all day long I'm feeling disheartened and incapable. Tell me some cheerful stuff please to distract me.

bebemoojem Tue 18-Oct-11 20:03:47

I love collecting all the presents and wrapping them to Christmas music while watching wintery movies too BB smile

bebemoojem Wed 19-Oct-11 20:39:22

Kids are in bed. No one is screaming. No headache....Today has been way better than yesterday so I'm feeling more upbeat again. Still distressed abt tear re-opening but it's done and cannot be undone. Just need to give myself time to heal again (and make sure I'm eating enough fiber).


AuldAlliance Wed 19-Oct-11 20:39:24

I have nothing very cheery to distract you with bebe, but in a spirit of shared horror, I'll tell a tale.

Today while I was sorting out the washing Alex brought his potty over to beside me, clambered on, did the largest, stickiest, most noisome poo a child has ever done, then began climbing off again, became entangled in his pants & trousers, toppled over onto the full potty, tipped that onto the rug and then fell into the poo, squishing it into said rug. 10 minutes before we had to go and get DS1 from a birthday party.

I don't know if the (large, not cheap, of sentimental value) rug will ever recover. I have scrubbed and scrubbed, sprinkled lavender-oil infused bicarb (don't ask why I had that handy!) over it and hoovered it off an hour later and am still not sure about it.

Maybe the tale is entertaining for other people to read about, in a kind of "there but for the grace of Whoever go I" way...

The moral of the story is of course that potties should be used in the bathroom/toilet/on a tiled floor and not carted about the place at whim.

AuldAlliance Wed 19-Oct-11 20:40:17

ooh, freaky x-post on comatose thread...

ZuluWarrior Wed 19-Oct-11 21:33:23

Just lost a long post on stupid Blackberry. Can't be arsed rewriting. In summary: Bebe - ouch. AA - ouch. How is everyone else?

PuzzleRocks Wed 19-Oct-11 22:23:40

Ill. [pathetic cough] Been to a PTA event and drank too much wine and now feel rotten. Have a date with old friends tomorrow night and will doubtless drink too much wine. And then off to BIL's on Friday for 3 days of most likely drinking too much wine. When all I really need is a full day in bed. Not. Drinking. Wine. Am fully aware I am a twat. How are the rest of you?

ZuluWarrior Wed 19-Oct-11 23:57:51


Breastfeeding = the only thing stopping me from drinking too much wine.

(And even that doesn't work all the time) shock.

BB3 Thu 20-Oct-11 07:01:49

Urgh! That is all I can say about how I'm feeling. This mother of three malarky is chuffing hard work! Dh is on a plane back to turkey for a week as i type, my house looks like a scene from a war zone after he was left alone to 'pack' and the girls still haven't worked out that bed time does not mean lay on mummy and sleep! But they are adorable and k is lovely (beyond lovely at the moment actually - in fact down right ace!) and the tiredness is giving me an excuse to drink coffee and eat copious amounts of chocolate at all hours of the day!

Puzz envyenvyenvy at your wine induced sickness xx

ZuluWarrior Thu 20-Oct-11 07:37:58

BB - we all know you are superwoman and are doing an amazing job. To hell with how the house looks - it can wait. Cuddle your gorgeous babies and lie down as much as possible with coffee and chocolate!

BB3 Thu 20-Oct-11 09:18:12

Ha superwoman in joggers covered in baby sick - yep that is me!!! wink how is l getting on?

bebemoojem Thu 20-Oct-11 11:16:23

Ah Auld glad of your story as Moo asked to bring her potty into the livingroom (because she was watching tv 'peepee comes an canna see TB mommy! bring potty to yibbingroom) and I debated abt it and then thought of your story...

I found the poo came off the linen couch in Germany with some gentle cleaning every so often...also if you can get it in the sunlight it might help.

I had a Jack and Coke on Tuesday because my nerves were shot. I wonder if that's why Jem slept so well (and maybe I just didn't hear Moo get up??? blush

BB I feel for you. Ignore the house. Focus on the kids. Have a mocha to get chocolate and coffee all at once and I'm sure they're very stylish joggers with lightning bolts on the side... ;) (But why IS it when you change into clean clothes then pick up the -a- baby suddenly there's sick all down your back, in your cleavage and somehow dripping into the pockets of your trousers???)

PuzzleRocks Thu 20-Oct-11 11:19:04

Aw, lovely K. I was so worried with my second pregnancy that I would lose that special "only" bond with Ellen but it just strengthens doesn't it.
Sod the house, this is crumpet weather, get your feet up. I am having hot chocolate and crumpets elevenses every day now.

Zulu - There is a charming picture of me somewhere breastfeeding Ellen with a big pint of Guinness in my hand. blush

PuzzleRocks Thu 20-Oct-11 11:20:43

envy I don't miss cleavage vom but if a baby were to be sick down my front these days it would be like wiping a sideboard clean. envy

ZuluWarrior Thu 20-Oct-11 14:58:17

Mmmm babysick. I have become so immune to it now that I can spend the day out in town covered in the stuff and not notice blush. L is getting on brilliant thanks. I hesitate to say the next bit <jinxes self> but she is the smiliest, most laid back wee self-settler at the moment. Still feeds a fair bit overnight but I don't grudge her that. Watch, she'll turn into a screamer now I've said that. Sandy has not got over his jealousy issues and bit her this morning. I am finding myself thinking about smacking him for assaults on his sister- it has gone on long enough now. Any thoughts?

Puzz, feeding with a drink in my hand is the norm round here!

BB, do the twins tend to keep the same wake/sleep patterns or operate independently?

ZuluWarrior Thu 20-Oct-11 14:59:55

grin grin grin to wiping a sideboard clean!

BB3 Thu 20-Oct-11 15:18:13

[Grin] Puzz! I'll lend you some of my 34F's if you to balance it out a bit between us!

And yes, much closer, I was really worried but actually he is a much more tactile and loving child than he was before, especially with me. He still tests the boundaries a bit (running away in shops for example) but the hugs at home for everyone kind of make up for it!

Zulu, they are completely independent - Edith-May fed over an hour ago, Ayse-Rose has only just woken up! but then we don't seem to have a routine (ho hum, I never was any good at those with K either) so they kind of do everything as and when they want too! Occasionally we get them together and breathe a sigh of relief at the calm and manage to get some housework done). But boy do they shite in unison! I've never known two such unladylike bottoms with the mess and leaking that comes out of them!!

Hmm, biting was a toughy for us to get through the more we told him off the more he did it so we ended up just taking him away and sitting him alone sonewhere. Cor there were some tantrums but it didn't take long for him to realise he was not getting anywhere.

BoffinMum Thu 20-Oct-11 15:38:32

BB3, just to second what people are saying about the house. Just enjoy the babies and get a cleaner in if you care about the mess. Don't lift a finger more than you have to!

You seem to be coping about 110% better than I would. I am amazed. I would be a tearful blobby disaster by now.

bebemoojem Thu 20-Oct-11 21:18:10

I'll see (not literally) your 34Fs and raise that to 34HH I'll glad share with anyone...Tho Dh might be a little more sorry if I did...tho since we've not had sex in months he might not even notice

I don't know how you do it BB I feel insane with just Jem

BB3 Fri 21-Oct-11 08:53:36

Sex???! What is that!??? I think I've forgotten how to do it grin grin grin

PuzzleRocks Fri 21-Oct-11 09:47:10

Bleurgh. I had a wonderful night out but my goodness am I glad I have the children as an excuse to leave otherwise I may have kept going until I was face down in the gutter. I have been trying to eat a piece of toast for two hours.

bebemoojem Fri 21-Oct-11 10:18:52

oh Puzz poor you sad Tho I'm jealous that you've been able to get out without kids.

I certainly have forgotten how to do it. It's been far to long and I know that's half my problem sad my stress levels sky rocket when I don't have sex.

Dh home tonight smile I know it does nothing for the feminist cause to want to dote on ones husband like I dote on him...but I feel like I've got a holiday coming and it starts at 8pm! grin
Tho I had a dream last night that when he got home he had a list of things he wanted to do a mile long and managed to leave the girls with me while I was trying to get to the gym so I was trying to exercise and make the girls a castle out of exercise mats and the instructor was getting more and more grouchy at me for not paying attention and I was getting more and more upset with DH for not taking the kids. -hope it's not a premonition

What I really want to do is sit down by myself with a nice hot coffee and gooey cake and read the newspaper...no kids, no talking, no running after escapees, or bribing to get them to sit a moment longer so I can get one more gulp, no one asking for games on my phone or screaming abt wanting to look at toys... I think I'm going to try to do that tomorrow. Dh can take the girls shopping or something for the day half an hour.

BB3 Sat 22-Oct-11 22:10:44

Did you get your coffee and papers bebe? I find that little luxuries make me happy, managing to drink a cup of coffee while it's hot! Managing to have a hot bath not a 2 second shower! Managing to play with k one on one for even a short period of time! Managing to put mascara on before leaving the house (that's a rare one!)!

Puzz how you feeling now? I'm dreading my first hangover with these three (19th November I suspect grin) I might just have to pay my sister for an extra day soni can sleep it off winkgrin xx I'll get on restaurant options tomorrow xxx

bebemoojem Mon 24-Oct-11 07:36:13

no coffee or papers unfortunately; dh was not quite able to cope this weekend. Things are very stressy here and he's just not capable of coping. sad I don't know how to help him except to help him hold out/make things as easy as possible until it all passes (once we get paid). He really needs to get his business sorted and closed down but in typical fashion he's dragging his feet and putting things off and not following through.
We talked it all through and made a plan the weekend before, but he's not done any of it. He says it's because he's busy with work (he's doing the permanent job now, but also finishing up a side project) but when ever he's home he's on his internet forum from what I can tell. It really perturbs me; and I told him so. I know he needs to relax too. But it's the putting things off which is causing half the trouble and turning small problems into big problems.
but it's the same crap I've complained abt on here before.

This is my second week of the 'just us' M-F. Today will be hard because Jem was up many times to feed and then Moo was up at 4.30 with a nightmare and she did not fall back asleep. I'm going to force her to nap (as much as I can) this afternoon. Hopefully we'll all be able to sleep. But otherwise we're just going to take it easy; there's no reason for us to do anything as I've got groceries coming. smile

bebemoojem Mon 24-Oct-11 07:43:44

BB how are you holding out with out your Dh around?

How's everyone else?

Did you have nice Autumn weather this weekend? Is it half term- it is here in Wales-? What are the plans? Moo informed me she wanted to go apple picking (because of CBeebies song abt fall) but it's too late in the season for that now I think. We'll get pumpkins later this week, and do some carving, maybe that will appease her. I need to think of what she can dress up as for Halloween. I'm thinking she's going to be a monster. Just her monster slippers, some leggings, and a monster tee. She's not keen on things on her head not dressing up proper (tho she does like her monster feet slippers smile )

PuzzleRocks Mon 24-Oct-11 20:16:47

Evening. We got back yesterday from an ace weekend in York where BIL and SIL thoroughly spoilt the girls. We went to a pumpkin fest which was great fun. And early Sunday morning saw the arrival of our new niece who we are hoping to meet this coming weekend.

AuldAlliance Mon 24-Oct-11 21:26:52

Congratulations, Puzzle!

Got back late last night from an amazing surprise birthday trip to Paris organised by DH. Nice TGV journey with wine & dinner on board, bicycle taxi-ride to scarily posh hotel, theatre at the Comédie Française, visit to the Louvre and another big contemporary art show, lovely food and wine. MIL very kindly came and looked after the boys and rearranged all my cupboards. The weather was gorgeous, and Paris looked amazing.

Think DH has woken up and smelt the coffee scorching and the toaster about to catch fire and is making a big effort. I'm all for it! We had a lovely time.

Now I have 3000 emails to read and a pile of papers to mark not to mention cupboards to explore and re-reorganise. Looking forward to my trip to London as my next pick-me-up!

BoffinMum Mon 24-Oct-11 23:47:01

Way-hay Auld. That sounds absolutely fantastic. London surely can't match up with that! grin Might take you to a Cafe Nero if you're a good girl ...

PuzzleRocks Tue 25-Oct-11 08:37:03

That does sound promising Auld. Good good.

bebemoojem Tue 25-Oct-11 08:43:19

Auld, that sounds great! smile

And Puzz that sounds lovely too!

Jealous smile

So a question abt potty training...
Moo is perfect when in the house (because she wears nothing on her bottom because she wants to do everything herself but cannot get her pants down quick enough if she's wearing any). How do I get her good at getting her pants down so that she can do it (wear them) all the time?
Also, I think she holds her poos in so she ends up not going until late in the night disrupting our night times.
Any ideas or should I go to the potty training board?

BB3 Tue 25-Oct-11 08:53:21

Woohoo auld and puzz

auld about bloody time hey! wink very glad he is working it out and you two are having some really happy times together x

puzz name, weight? She might not be on our bus but we still like baby details.. grin are you fully recovered from your nights out?

bebe can you not sneak on his computer and block said forums till it is sorted? wink it's a tough one - I'm a nagger through and through so I just go on and on at dh until 1. He does it to shut me up or 2. We row it's quiet for a while then he does it out of guilt! Alternatively I just do it myself!

We are doing ok without dh - I just miss 'him' not so much his help, he is at work all day until late but it's trance without his presence (even if just to argue with! wink) I have my sister in the day time so that's ok although can be a bit frantic at times when both girls want feeding / changing / cuddles and ds wants attention but we are doing ok. Night times are tougher but I've been co-sleeping the past three nights and we are all sleeping much better so that's good - dh might be shoved into spare room when he's back and hv will not be told (she frowns on co-sleeping) but it's working for us!

This week i suspect we will mostly be running around the garden in the leaves and on the trampoline between feeds and poos! Friday we are having a mini Halloween party with nuts and the girls and my sister and her dd so we will make scary home made pizzas and cakes to eat and the kids will dress up and watch cartoons mostly!

My son appears to jaw turned into stavros flatly over night and refuses to wear tops in the house so takes them off himself an runs around the house like a loon in just his trousers!!! Oh and I need Eli - he is obsessed with chewing plastic - remote control buttons, toy animals, car wheels from toys, toothbrushes! It's like the challenge of getting it off but it's doing my head in - any ideas how to stop. At mo we are just taking the chewed item away and not making too much fuss but it's not dropping off at all! angry

BB3 Tue 25-Oct-11 08:55:18

Strange not trance and have not jaw!!! Bloody iphone!!!

BB3 Tue 25-Oct-11 08:56:27

I need Eli? No idea who he is but I do need help!!! And a new phone!

bebemoojem Tue 25-Oct-11 09:36:59

You know... I kinda like it when dh is not here tbh because we all seem to sleep better... plus the house doesn't get as messy because I clean as I go.
He wants us to come visit him...but I cannot imagine trying to settle both Moo and Gwen in a hotel room...

As for the chewing, I have no idea really. I remind Moo abt these things... Moo please take that out of your mouth, remember: we only put food in our mouths. If she destroys things I tell her that when things get broken/destroyed it makes me sad and upset. She tends to respond to that, but I know it's in part her personality and absentminded-ness that things end up in there.
Glad you're all getting on smile it sounds like this weekend will be great fun. smile

PuzzleRocks Tue 25-Oct-11 11:29:18

God yes, Eli is awesome. grin

I know what you mean. Having DH here doesn't actually lighten my load but it just knowing he is about and having someone to talk to in the evening.

Niece was 8lb 9oz and her name is Molly Rose. So Grandpa Gee has Holly and Molly which is very cute. Her bis sister is Matilda. We saw a pic last night and DH got seriously broody.

bebemoojem Tue 25-Oct-11 16:31:27

smile Molly is so cute smile

BoffinMum Tue 25-Oct-11 17:02:23

Hello people,

I had to get very strident in Orange and I have started a thread about it. If you could quickly post one or two opinions I would be very grateful. They have relieved my DS of £18 of our English pounds and he is very distressed.

I thank you.


Schulte Tue 25-Oct-11 18:43:22

Well hello everybody. Been a long time! Hope everyone is doing well. The news in the Schulte house is that H has potty trained herself, DD1 had croup a few days ago at the grand old age of 4 1/2 when I thought she would have grown out of it and now we're waiting for H to get it really and the annual trip to A&E. H has also been diagnosed with a peanut allergy and now carries several epipens, which is bad news as I am not sure what it means for all the future play dates, school dinners, birthday parties etc. Right now I am trying to decide whether I can risk sending her to ski kindergarten in Austria when we go skiing and whether I trust them to keep her safe.

Oh well.

Off to read what everybody's been up to...

PuzzleRocks Tue 25-Oct-11 19:51:22

Oh god Schulte, I don't really know what to say. School shouldn't be a problem though as most have a blanket policy now. Certainly every school round here does. My sister used to be a classroom assistant and one year she was assigned solely to look after a young boy with severe allergies; schools are very good these days.

Schulte Tue 25-Oct-11 20:07:49

Yes I think school worries me less than things like play dates. I will be the annoying mum who always sends a list of written instructions plus the emergency box with the epipen along. I found someone on the allergy board who said she used to sit outside in the car for the duration of a birthday party, epipen at the ready so as not to impose the responsibility on the parents of the birthday child! Crazy but I can imagine doing the same.

Schulte Tue 25-Oct-11 20:08:56

How's Puzzle getting along at school? Loved the pics of her in her uniform!

PuzzleRocks Tue 25-Oct-11 20:16:57

If other parents find that annoying then they are twats.

She loves it. She was a bit disappointed that she has to have a week off. And what about F?

BoffinMum Tue 25-Oct-11 20:20:22

TBH I wouldn't bat an eyelid at an Epipen and would just be pleased the parents trusted me.

BoffinMum Tue 25-Oct-11 20:22:25

Schulte at Addenbrookes they have a desensitisation programme for peanut allergy. Mr Nassar is your guy, if I remember correctly.

FWIW I have a life threatening allergy to birch trees, of all things, work on a campus full of the buggers, and manage really well with comparatively few drugs thanks to the ministrations of this fine gentleman.

Schulte Tue 25-Oct-11 20:29:40

I didn't know you could have such a bad allergy to birch trees shock I am allergic to them too but not as badly!

Yes I have heard about the programme but not sure how to get onto it? To start with we're avoiding peanuts (as we have done anyway) and she'll get retested in 2 years time. Who knows, she may grow out of it - apparently 20% of children do and I hope that may happen at the same time as growing out of her egg allergy.

What I am really worried about is when she starts going boozing and then for curries with her friends.... Thai and Indian food not a good idea for people with peanut allergies, I think!

BoffinMum Tue 25-Oct-11 21:38:57

It only started in 2009. I had been sitting under the birch tree in the garden when my face swelled up and my throat started to close. Being me I assumed it was my imagination and went for a bit of a lie down. My throat then got worse and my eye started to disappear in the puffiness and I thought, "Oh shit, not a good situation" so I went to the Out of Hours service. They took one look at me, let me bypass all the other patients, and gave me pink medicine and hooked me up to some sort of inhaler, stabilised me and then sent me down to A and E. Hospital ushered me through straight away as well and kept an eye on me for about 4 hours. Then they referred me to the allergy clinic for two weeks time (you have to wait that long for the steroids to get out of your system). I was super cynical and reluctant to be there, but the allergy clinic tested me for everything under the sun and the only thing that showed up was birch trees, which was a massive white swelling on my arm around the prick test. Then my throat started to go again and they gave me more steroids. They were apparently delighted as the full scale reactions are rarer than you think, and they said if it happened again, to let them know so they could have a good look at my case hmm. However the advice was to take two Zirtek when near birch trees or at the first sign of allergy, and follow all the normal hayfever prevention advice. This works brilliantly so I have been spared the Epipen up until now. I have to carry Zirtek with me all the time though, even out of season.

BoffinMum Tue 25-Oct-11 21:41:34

Get a referral to Mr Nassar?

Programme here

Schulte Tue 25-Oct-11 21:45:36

That's weird that you are allergic to birch pollen but not the related fruits and nuts... my hazelnut allergy apparently is related to my birch allergy... they call it Kreuzallergie in German (cross allergy?). Must have been properly scary!

Conkertree Tue 25-Oct-11 21:57:10

Just popping on to say - sorru to hear about the peanut allergy Schulte. I know what you mean about being the annoying parent. I constantly have to either bring our own food for ds1, or look at every packet at toddler groups etc. I hav started taking a photo with me of what he looks like when he has a reaction as often people dont seem to take it seriously - a woman at church gave him a chocolate biscuit cause she felt sorry for him, never getting chocolate. (He's allergic to eggs, peanuts, dairy and shellfish). Luckily he took it to me first as he knew he cant have chocolate, but if an adult insists its ok for him to have, and I'm not there, he may be persuaded - guess I just have to keep teaching him to stand up for himself though.

Definitely agree the future with drunk nights etc could be scary, but either they could have grown out of them by then, or medical knowledge could have found cures (like the de-sensitising that Boffin knows about). So few specialists just now - bound to increase in time.

Anyway, hope you regulars dont mind the random drop in - I do drop by to see how you all are but domt often post. Fergus is as big a guzzler as his big brothers so keeping me busy grin.

Schulte a friend of mine has a son who is very allergic to nuts, also chickpeas and various other things. As BoffinMum says, I am always honoured that she trusts me to look after him and am ultra vigilant with him, so other parents might be more accommodating than you think.

The first time she dropped him off she gave me his epipen - I decided to read the instructions on the box to find out how to use it just in case, only to find that the pharmacist had put the sticker over the crucial diagram on the side of the box! I could see the pictures about how to get the darn thing out of the box and how to arm it, but the one that showed you where and how to stab the afflicted child was completely covered. Thank goodness we didn't need it.....

bebemoojem Wed 26-Oct-11 14:57:08

what to do?

eek peanut allergies sad not nice. I think I'd be a hovering parent type too tbh. I'd only have a few close friends or people I'd probably be able to trust. Let's hope she grows out of it, but surely by the type drunken nights come about she'll know and be responsible enough to take care.

Love hearing abt the lo's enjoying school, may it never end wink

Hi Conker smile Gald your lo is thriving smile

BB3 Wed 26-Oct-11 16:01:40

Bebe - it's a tough one but jem seems to have been struggling a little bit for a while. My advice is COMPLETELY ignore DH's opinion, (after all he seems to be ignoring you about the company stuff wink) and do what is right for you. I express one bottle a day and the girls have their pre-bed milk in a bottle because they seem to take more and then sleep a bit longer (Ede will take 8oz the little piglet - and she's the thin one whereas chunky monkey Ayse will take about 5oz!!). There is nothing wrong with expressing or indeed moving over to formula if that is what is going to settle jem and allow her to take i the milk, reduce wind and therefor help you all be a happier household! Why not try EBF or FF for a day or so and express off any excess that you have and see if that helps, you can always go back as long as you are expressing as your supply will still be there.

Shultes poor DD, she is really suffering hey. If she doesn't grow out of it (which hopefully she will), then she will have only ever know a life where she has to be careful about nuts and that won't change when she has had a drink, she will still be very aware of what she can and can't have so don't worry about that. Until that time you will always be the overprotective mother (as you should) and there will be some parties you sit outside on red alert but others you will trust the parents enough to let her go it alone. Hope you are all ok xx

BoffinMum Wed 26-Oct-11 19:05:38

I had not realised that, Schulte, about Kreuzallergie. Funnily enough, thinking back, I did get a wierd reaction to Kentish cob nuts last season - my mouth starting swelling and prickling a bit - and I think I may have taken my Zirtek at the time to be on the safe side. but I had forgotten about it until you mentioned it. I avoided them this year. But tbh I am rather in denial about the allergy thing as one bit of me is so busy with having SPD related problems I am reluctant to have anything else to deal with! I nearly didn't go to the allergy clinic but the hospital were very firm about it, so I acquiesced. Many of the people in the clinic were muttering about being intolerant to wheat and dairy, etc, and had been on the waiting list for ages, but it seems anaphylaxis is something else altogether and they take it quite seriously. As they should.

Schulte Thu 27-Oct-11 10:19:56

Thanks everyone for the encouraging words. It's good to hear from the 'other' side and I am glad you say you wouldn't mind the epipen malarky. Hopefully H's friends' mums will feel the same about it. I wonder how the grandparents will take it, as they don't believe in allergies - I don't think DH has told them yet hmm

I am still in my nightie blush aren't school holidays nice!

PuzzleRocks Thu 27-Oct-11 10:25:13

Schulte - We are all still in pj's. They are cutting and glueing Halloween puppets so at least I don't have to worry about their clothes.

BB3 Thu 27-Oct-11 11:29:29

We are all up and dressed (only as we had drs at 8!) but we may be getting back into pjs soon grin.

Schultes I've had an allergic reaction to something this week and am covered top to toe in itchy hives that I can do bugger all about because I'm bfing - I could take a picture and send to the grandparents if you would like to show them allergies really exist! grin. Glad you feel a bit better about it x

So girls and me had six week check this morning and Ayse-Rose has a heart murmur sadsadsad I burst into tears when he told me not because of that as much - it's fixable or manageable at least - but the poor girl cannot catch a break. She's 5 weeks and 2 days old and has an umbilical hernia, has been hospitalised with viral infection, had a horrendous cold and nappy rash and now this. (She also had a really bad night and refused to sleep and i got really grumpy with her at the time). And the poor lamb is going bald as her hair falls out (compared to her mildly thinning sister) so looks like an old man with alapetia! (sp?) so anyway she'll be monitored by gp for next six weeks and if it's still there in six weeks time she'll be referred to peads at the hospital for more tests. sad

Ooh Halloween puppets. Hope you'll be posting pictures!!! We are baking cupcakes at the moment for the kids to decorate with green and orange slime (butter cream) tomorrow and making a mummy cake. We've made bug jellies and will be making jelly lanterns later. Tomorrow will be making home-made spooky pizzas for lunch, chocolate Halloween apples and decorating the cakes. The three kids big enough to eat all this stuff are going to be high as kites on sugar blush x

B52s Thu 27-Oct-11 12:55:14

BB3 Sam was diagnosed with a murmur at his 6 week check too - very feint - few hospital checks later and they decided it is not a problem. He is now a healthy 2.6 year old and runs round with the best of them. Hope it all works out for you and Ayse-Rose - I remember what it felt like.

PuzzleRocks Thu 27-Oct-11 13:29:00

I was about to post and say B52's little one had the same but here you are. grin

BB we will be keeping everything crossed for the best possible outcome. Give the gorgeous little baldy a cuddle from me.

PuzzleRocks Thu 27-Oct-11 13:29:34

Buggered up the apostrophe. Oh the shame.

BB3 Thu 27-Oct-11 13:46:01

Thanks both - b52 that's really reassuring, he did say there was a chance it would heal itself but seemed perplexed that they hadn't identified it at birth which scared me a bit as in my mind that makes it a noticeable enough one iyswim. But then I could be making a mountain out of a molehill and just over analysing every comment x

Baldy is getting lots of cuddles today - in fact all three kids are (well when ds lets me) which technically she doesn't deserve as she kept me up all night! wink

BB3 Thu 27-Oct-11 13:50:27

Ha! I missed off a letter! Double shame x

Schulte Thu 27-Oct-11 16:24:33

Yes BB3 don't worry. H had a heart murmur as well which they found at her 6 wk check up and then had an ultrasound scan at the hospital a few weeks later and I was told she was perfectly fine. The murmur may or may not still be there but even if it is the consultant said it was benign. Fingers crossed it's the same for Ayse-Rose.

Hives from top to toe! Any idea what it was?

BB3 Thu 27-Oct-11 18:19:47

schultes no idea thought it was the leaves / sap on trampoline but dr doesn't think so as it cones and goes throughout the day he thinks it's something I've ingested. The only thing I've had different was one of those takeaway Indian meals from tesco on monday evening and rash appeared within half an hour but thought that might be too soon for it to show but maybe not! Yes literally from my neck to feet!! It's attractive!!

Dh is coming home tonight, there was a chance he would stay another 10 days but work things changed and he managed to get a flight the same day x I'm not looking forward to the 2am pick up but I am looking forward to a hug and handing him his kids for an hour so I can sleep!

BoffinMum Thu 27-Oct-11 19:30:56

BB3 you can take Piriton/Zirtek while bf.

bebemoojem Thu 27-Oct-11 19:39:29

<<bebe runs in>> PooPoo on the Potty! <<runs out to pick up her screaming baby but smiling proudly abt her toddler>>

BB3 Thu 27-Oct-11 20:18:15

Well done meg! Think k will be the last April baby out of nappies. We are no where near ready yet blush x

Conkertree Thu 27-Oct-11 22:15:45

Thats great for Meg. Bb3 - I think we can use the babies as an excuse (especially you). I think Angus might be ready if I was, but i'm not that keen to add to the chaos at the moment, although given the size of his poo today, maybe it would be in my interests to give it a shot.

I just remember that ds1 was so so easy when he decided that he wanted to be potty trained. Not a single accident (at least for the first several months) - but he was just over three at the time, so I'm slightly tempted to wait till it happens without much effort from me [lazy emoticon].

FrogmellaMoonbeam Thu 27-Oct-11 23:25:21

Dont worry about it BB3 we haven't started with Violet yet so Kara may not be the last as she is a stubborn opinionated little madam so it wont happen until she is good and ready and willing to give it a go, she has already made it clear a potty is not acceptable, it is upstairs to the toilet or nothing at all xXx

BB3 Fri 28-Oct-11 06:16:53

grin conker yes let's blame the babies gringrin. I think he's almost ready as he stops and holds his nappy when weeing and comes and leans on you when he wants a poo. But he doesn't say enough to tell us he needs to go so I'll work on that first x

frog mine too he will march you to bathroom make you go to toilet give you the toilet roll and flush the chain but you try get him on there and it's like telling a cow to neigh! He just looks at you as if to say, 'don't be stupid!'. He just chews the potty and throws it in the air!!!

BB3 Orbit isn't ready yet either, and DS1 was over three when he trained so plenty of time for K! No point doing it before they're ready (and girls are often ready before boys for some reason).

Feel for you on the heart murmur - paed in hospital picked up a heart murmur on Orbit which given our previous history scared the living daylights out of me. Bless the cardiac team there, they sent their registrar over and he did a full scan of Orbit's heart, took over an hour (given how tiny the heart is at that age, must have been VERY thorough) and pronounced him totally fit and well. He said a huge percentage of newborns have murmurs and the vast majority are nothing at all to worry about.

I remember the letter they wrote us about Orbit after the scan, it had the immortal line:

"Baby WhatFreshHellIsThis is pink and well perfused with warm extremities."

And he has remained so ever since wink

Well done Moo on potty! grin

And Puzzle I am impressed at Hallowe'en creativity - we are watching telly in our pjs......blush

bebemoojem Fri 28-Oct-11 10:16:53

Hopefully all is well with A-R BB3, I had a heart murmur when was a babes. I'm fine. smile Let's hope it's the same with her. Fingers crossed and lots of love and support for you.

Moo is only potty trained in the house and with no lower clothes on. I wasn't keen on starting but thought we could ease into it all. Moo is very particular abt pressure and 'rightness' so we thought we'd just get her used to the idea. So, A couple of weeks ago we went to a few stores to especially by a potty chair. She did not want to use the potty we had, 'too small beebeeJems!' hmm and the toilet is 'too BIG!' so out we went... she chose it after sitting on a few and we brought it home. We started just having her out of nappies after a bath for a bit. Then slowly increased our time out. Now when she gets up in the morning we take the night time nappy off and she sits around un-nappied until we need to go out. The poo on the potty was a surprise as I've told her a number of times it was ok to go, but she always refused so I always just put a nappy back on her. This time... she went right to the potty chair and went. smile Felt so proud. smile trying to get her used to the knickers now... we'll see how that goes. Otherwise she's going to have to go commando the rest of her life...

Conkertree Fri 28-Oct-11 10:31:32

Bebe - all that potty sizing, you should change her name to goldilocks grin. Its great though - hope it continues to go well.

Dh has taken the older two out so ds3 and I are cuddled up on the sofa. Lovely. Really need to clean the house, but a few more minutes will do no harm.

For those with older children, I wondered what you all looked for in a school? The one we are in the catchment area for requires a school bus, but there are others within walking distance that we are thinking of putting a placing request in for, as I'd really rather walk ds1 to school (and therefore have regular contact with them). He starts in Augst so we need to request in January I think.

Just dont really know what to look for in a visit (we have read the inspection reports and they have fairly similar ones).

B52s Fri 28-Oct-11 15:19:29

Sam still in nappies, no chance of him getting out of them yet. I'd forgot about him having an ultrasound on his heart - how could I have forgotten that? It was so major at the time.
With the school thing, DS1 started Reception class 6 weeks ago - we chose between the 2 possible schools but how easy it was to get him there. Not where his friends were going, or by OFSTED reports, or which head we liked the best, but the pracicalities of it all, as we'll be doing that for the next 5 years. It turned out the OFSTED report was satisfactory, he had friends attending too and the Head is get onable with. His teacher is lovely too.

B52s (honestly, how hard a name is that?) wink

Schulte Sat 29-Oct-11 10:12:40

If you can get your DS into a school that is within walking distance, I'd do that. DD1's school is just that little bit too far to walk and I hate having to get in the car twice a day. Plus there is the fight with other parents over the parking spaces on a very narrow road... no fun.

BB3 Sun 30-Oct-11 10:02:36

I'd go for walking distance too as long as you like the school enough xx

BB3 Sun 30-Oct-11 10:06:57

Oh and conker, I would go and see them all and chances are you'll just know which one you think is right x

Conkertree Sun 30-Oct-11 17:25:10

Thanks everyone - confirming what I was thinking about distance being important. We will set up some visits in the next month or so.

Hope everyone has had good weekends. X

BB3 Sun 30-Oct-11 19:46:32

You know today is one of those days where I realise how much my life has changed. Three years ago clocks going back meant result, extra hour in bed, longer day = more stuff I can get done. This year clocks going back means waking up at an ungodly hour, trying (and failing) to get your non-napping toddler to take a nap, wondering how on earth to fill that extra hour and going to bed at an embarrassingly early hour (15 minutes time if the kids play ball gringrin). Ho hum. Lucky they're worth it hey!!!

PuzzleRocks Sun 30-Oct-11 20:17:49

I hear ya. I'm turning in shortly. Rock n roll sista.

ZuluWarrior Tue 01-Nov-11 07:09:16

It's lovely to see so many old friends smile.

BB if I had a pound for every patient I meet who had a benign heart murmur as a baby I'd be a rich woman. So keeping everything crossed for your beautiful girl.

Schulte sorry to hear about the allergy. It must be incredibly stressful. We visited friends at the weekend whose 2-year old DS has a nasty egg allergy. I blundered in with a box full of cupcakes blush.

We seem to have potty training mastered after about 3 weeks. We even watched S slide commando-like under his bedroom door stairgate last night to poo in his potty unaided grin.

The baby is doing great but is so different from her brother. She has pottered along on the 9th centile while he has always been about the 75th. Bicnod seems to be having a busy time of it according to her facebook updates. Teeth at 3 months. 3 months!.

Hope everyone is well xx

PuzzleRocks Tue 01-Nov-11 07:42:51

Good morning
The girls went trick or treating for the first time yesterday. It was great, so many people got into the spirit and one particular house was a masterclass is theatricality. The owner was sat in the shadows of her garden which had animatronics and smoke machines and scary music blaring out. Wonderful.

BoffinMum Tue 01-Nov-11 10:14:11

We did trick or treating as well. Felix was nervous at first, rejecting the cute spider costume with padded legs in favour for the pumpkin costume with little hat, on grounds of the latter being less scary. At the first few houses he stood cautiously behind my legs and only reluctantly took a tiny sweet from each proffered bowl when coaxed. By the end of the tour he was waiting as short a time as possible before diving into the bowl enthusiastically to grab sweeties along with the big boys. He got the idea. grin

Last night was also the first night in a big boy bed. Felix was doubtful about this. He kept getting up during story time as if to say, "OK, enough with the messing about, let's get the cot back in here now for the sleeping part of the evening". Once or twice he went in search of the cot and upon finding it, tried to drag it back into his room <pang>. However finally I lay down with him for 20 minutes in the big bed to settle him (conversation went like this: "Mummy, you go over your side! You do 'laxing now, go sleep" - sounded just like his father!) and finally was allowed to leave on the pretext that I needed to put my pyjamas on and have a wee. He then nodded off alone. Surprisingly there was no patter of little feet during the night and at 6.30 he called for me, so I went and laid with him again for a bit, which he liked (I got a lot of kisses!), and finally we got up for his morning bottle.

DH thinks I am mean putting him in a big boy bed and announced he wouldn't have done it like that. Well DH was gadding about in London and came home late, so too bad! I am not allowed to stop him using a bottle for the time being, and DH isn't that keen to have another go at toilet training with him either. I think he wants to keep him a baby. wink

DH has also been indicating he might like another one. He is so not getting any more children out of me. shock

PuzzleRocks Tue 01-Nov-11 10:34:15

Sweet. Did you take pics? I got a few before the battery died on my camera.

BB3 Tue 01-Nov-11 13:57:04

We did trick or treating too. Ede was a spider, Ayse-Rose a pumpkin and k was well, himself but with a glow in the dark skeleton t-shirt! I'll try and put some pics up later.

Boff, bless Felix pulling his cot, think that may have made me squidge him all night.

K has had a bit of a sickness bug and is very cuddly which is lovely!! Although I think he may have lost all his good boy credits this morning - I painted the porch today so had a late bath and he helped me (which involves dunking my head under water). Anyway he trotted to my room with me afterwards and while I was dressing the little bugger bit a chunk out of the leather in the heal of my favourite louboutins. angry I'm trying to decide if that's grounds for adoption! grinwink

I think we've bitten off a bit more than we can chew this week. We have decided to update the old side of the house as a surprise for my parents who are away - which involves touching up old paintwork, glossing, re-carpeting certain areas, washing old carpets etc. We have 4 days left and Sooo much to do, a sick toddler and clinging twins!!! Gah!!!

ZuluWarrior Tue 01-Nov-11 16:46:17

Wow BB. If you think you've bitten off more than you can chew then things must be really bad! But seriously though - shouldn't you be resting? That milk will be skimmed at this rate.

BB3 Tue 01-Nov-11 18:06:53

Well we had a very productive day today so feeling a bit better tonight just some emulsion to touch up this evening then the clean up starts tomorrow and carpet laid Thursday x let's hope kids decide to go off to sleep nice and early today - wishful thinking me thinks especially as girls have just gone off for their very late afternoon sleep!

But yes it was a stupid idea to take on DIY projects whilst alone with three kids with only my sister for help! Still it'll be worth it in the end!

BB3 Tue 01-Nov-11 18:17:09

Oh and not to worry about the milk I'm keeping it full fat with a gurt big Chinese grin

ZuluWarrior Tue 01-Nov-11 18:34:34

Glad to hear it! Mine is blue top courtesy of Mr Haagen-Dazs grin.

PuzzleRocks Tue 01-Nov-11 19:00:09

shock If 6 week old twins don't slow you down I am starting to wonder what on earth would? You are like the Monty Python Black Knight. grin

BoffinMum Wed 02-Nov-11 10:18:11

I am also amazed. No hint of spare fat on the woman, no PND, no aches or pains and bf twins to boot. Bloody hell. envy

BB3 if you weren't so lovely we might have to kill you grin

For the good of the sisterhood, you understand. We wouldn't want to do it. <<sad, serious face>>

Schulte Wed 02-Nov-11 20:13:19

Is that BB woman at it again! You should do what I do and pay some yummy guys to do your DIY jobs grin mine are putting new doors in and they cut them in front of my study window so I have a nice view all day.

DD1 loved the 'trickle treating' too and H couldn't get enough of it! Unfortunately most of the houses around here are owned by really old people who don't 'do' Halloween so there weren't many doors we could knock on. Sounds like we should go do it in Puzzle's area next year envy.

Was wondering how Bicnod is getting on...

Loved the story of Felix's first night in his big boy bed. We've also got rid of the stair gates now, and I have sent the remaining nappies to my brother who's got a 9 month old. Feels like we're slowly getting our lives back (who am I kidding?).

BB3 Wed 02-Nov-11 20:14:28

Oooh boff I do love you but I have two dress sizes of spare fat on me at the moment (I have however got 6 weeks of intensive personal training booked on from next week to help me shed some of said excess fat!!)

It's horrible outside tonight I've just washed the carpets downstairs and am sat snuggled on the sofa with ds. I'm supposed to be doing Beytos paperwork as the book keeper is coming tomorrow but I think I'll have to do it in the morning. Bed is much more appealing right now....

Oh and how many of us are there for 18th? I'm going to look for somewhere tomorrow but wanted to know definite numbers.

BB3 Wed 02-Nov-11 20:20:22

Schultes dh would kill me - he's sooooo tight when it comes to paying people to do house things - he almost combusted when we paid for patio and wall to be built. His argument is labour is expensive (true) and he will do it all (false). He's never got time and if he has he'd rather sleep / play with ds. I've been waiting for him to fill the holes, sand and repaint the wall (the smallest possible area) in the living room so we can rehang the stereo for ooooh about 3 months. angry I did it yesterday. hmm

BB3 Wed 02-Nov-11 20:21:50

But yay for yummy carpenters xxx the people that did our build were not yummy. Not yummy at all.

BoffinMum Wed 02-Nov-11 21:46:12

Felix has not worked out that you can get out of a big boy bed. He still lies in there as though it is a cot and calls me through. This is an excellent arrangement! grin

Our stair gates have been sold, and I am debating whether to sell my pram or not!

BB, I have been having personal training forever, not to mention all sorts of other exercise, and I am still 4 stone overweight. So you are officially a cow for being so sorted. wink grin envy But I have something you don't have. I tried sports massage today and the guy was so gorgeous I thought he had dropped from heaven. I asked if he minded whether I took my clothes off as my trousers felt awfully tight, and he was delighted for me to do so. Then he rubbed me all over with linament for an hour. Best £45 I have ever spent in my entire life, I am telling you. grin

Boffin are you are sure that was a sports massage? Did he offer you extras? wink

Must go to bed - have scary job interview in the morning. Three very senior people who all want to hear my presentation, that I put together in one day. This could be out and out humiliation.

BB3 Thu 03-Nov-11 06:49:50

Good luck today wfh x you'll be great xx gringrin at 'extras' I've now got very funny images of boff's reaction to such offerings!!!

ZuluWarrior Thu 03-Nov-11 09:36:10

Good luck WFH! You'll be great. Let us know how you get on xx

PuzzleRocks Thu 03-Nov-11 09:52:27

Good luck WFH.

I note Boff hasn't answered your question. Let's assume it's a "yes".

BoffinMum Thu 03-Nov-11 13:18:55


I am happily married woman, I will have you know, with a doting husband who pays me a lot of attention. However as my dad says, just because you have had your dinner doesn't mean you can't look at the menu. wink

I am considering taking up a dangerous sport so I pull some muscles and have to go back. grin

Good luck WFH! I have a job interview tomorrow as well, also scary. Let's hope we manage to rise victorious!

Oh dear. Had a really rubbish night's sleep due to small boys waking up and yelling and general nerves and such. Felt like death warmed up, went to job interview and was in there for two hours. Didn't like the CEO, and I don't think they'll offer it to me.

Tbh, I don't think I could do it anyway. Involves a fair amount of travel which would be brilliant if boys weren't so small and DP didn't go away so often. And although I liked the person I would be working for, the CEO was still really annoying.

BoffinMum Thu 03-Nov-11 19:21:14

Well you have to like the person you are working for, so it wounds like it wasn't meant to be.

ZuluWarrior Thu 03-Nov-11 20:28:12

WFH, I had my interview when the baby was 5 weeks old. I think it worked in my favour though because I was so sleep-deprived I just didn't care. Do you want the job?

AuldAlliance Thu 03-Nov-11 20:38:15

<<peeks in door
sees dozens of messages
keels over
gets back to work>>

BB: I'm coming on the 18th. Naturellement....wink

Am in a complete dilemma. They emailed me last night to ask for references - apparently they're asking for refs from two candidates, so it's between me and one other person.

I've given the references because I'm not sure about the job - at least this way if they give it to someone else then fine, no decision required, and if they offer it to me I'll have to ask for some time to think it over.

DP and I had tense conversation last night about why it's my career that has to be part time etc, and money and other things. Feel like crying today with the stress of it all and the fact that I've spent my whole week off worrying about this sodding interview instead of enjoying myself.

I like the man I would be working for, didn't like the CEO much but don't know how much contact I would have with him. My real concerns are over the travel - they have offices all over the world and there was a lot of talk about me having to go to far flung places to meet people. I just don't know if that's feasible, with a 2 year old and a 5 year old. DP thinks it is feasible if we get a nanny, which is probably true, but I don't know if I want to see my children less than I do at the moment.

I really thought that when the children were at school I'd be able to have a career again, but I'm starting to see that in fact they need you more when they're at school then when they're in nursery/childminder - Boff, what do you think? At nursery/cm their emotional needs are taken care of as well in lots of ways, but school is much less nurturing so I feel DS1 needs me very much these days. And we haven't even got homework yet.

They were generally pro flexible working but I don't know how real that commitment is.

Oh I just don't know.


Boff how was your interview?

BB3 Fri 04-Nov-11 16:54:32

Wfh how much would you love the job you'd be doing? It sounds like you want them to offer it to the other candidate but is that because you don't really want the job or you want to avoid making a decision?

BB3 Fri 04-Nov-11 18:29:45

ggaaaaahhhh! This is awful but my bloody neighbour offered to lay our porch carpet for us to save some money and effort but he's done such a piss poor job I know don't know what to do, one edge is too long, the other doesn't reach the wall and we don't have enough of the remnants to do it again so now I don't know what to do other than patch it together and hope it looks ok - so pissed off but feel bad for being so ungrateful! DH is going to do it when he is home but me being the impatient person I am asked him to come and sort it now so I can stop stressing about it and he wont leave work early (he runs the bloody business he can chose his hours fgs and make up for it tomorrow but no!!) Rant over... carry on...

BoffinMum Sat 05-Nov-11 09:40:05

Interview went really well - I gave it my best shot, and I liked all the people a lot, particularly the guy I would be working for. I hear early next week if I have got through to the next round.

WFH, anything is possible with a willing and supportive DH and a good nanny, but it is true that they need you more when they are at school because schools don't offer the same level of holistic care as nurseries etc, unless you go private to one which takes boarders and has a san, homework clubs and so on that younger day pupils can use as well.

But it sounds to me like you are not ready for this. However you could find out more about how much notice you would get to travel, and how long it would be for each time, plus whether they would meet any additional childcare costs incurred over your nanny's usual f/t hours (which the Inland Revenue seem fine about), or give time off in lieu. You also want to make sure they let you factor in a recovery day if you have been flying long haul, and let you buy fully flexible tickets so that you can hop on an earlier train/plane if possible. If they are RyanAir/EasyJet oriented then it's worth avoiding, as it will do your head in unless it's a quick hop to Scotland.

I find doing a night or two a month is not a problem at all, plus a longer trip of about 5 days, and in fact I love having a bit of time to myself and meeting new people. But we have a rule that we never have both parents out of the country at the same time, and if we are both away from home overnight, we get a grandparent or other relative in to keep the kids and nanny company.

There's a lot to be said for having a live-in nanny if you have to travel. But nannies have lives too, and get ill occasionally, so you do need a back up plan as well.

BoffinMum Sat 05-Nov-11 09:41:16

Sorry, I meant a five day trip once or twice a year, not every month!!!!!!

BoffinMum Sat 05-Nov-11 09:41:51

BB3, it will look OK patched, I am sure.

Thanks Boffin and BB3, that's really useful. I think establishing the amount of travel is crucial as you say - if they offer it to me I think it's a case of going in for a chat with my immediate line manager and talking specifics, as so far it's all been in very general terms.

I am nervous about getting a nanny, both from a cost point of view (if it eats up all the salary increase, is it worth doing, for example) and also from the point of view of picking someone. Have no idea how to go about it! And Orbit is so very happy at nursery - maybe we would need a nanny share really. After all he'll be three soon so really only need someone who can do drop off/pick ups from preschool/school and have Orbit in the afternoons.

DP and I have been arguing constantly this week. sad The whole job thing has raised lots of issues around childcare and responsibility, with me feeling put upon and him feeling criticised. Joy. Oh well, off for a night away in a hotel now, will either be the mending of us or an unmitigated disaster.

BB3 hope you get your carpet sorted - is it really awful or just not BB3 standards wink?

Boffin glad interview went well, will cross fingers for you!

BB3 Sat 05-Nov-11 10:22:12

Boff, really glad the interview went well.

Wfh - how was hotel.

Oh no it was god awful - at one end it didn't reach in one corner so just ended with a random jagged edge about 3cms away from the wall and the other end was too short by miles so he just plonked an off cut underneath it hmm

Anyway it looks ok now not perfect and o desperately need carpet tape to stick the join but the village carpet shop is closed today for staff shortages and I'm not sure I can be arsed with a 90 minute round trip to town to buy some before I leave at 1 to get my parents. Ho hum

Wfh working and balancing kids is really hard, I'm incredibly lucky to have my sister as our nanny and my mother and father on hand but if dh continues to work the hours he's working we are going to have to rethink work when my maternity leave finishes as we can't both be gone for 12-15 hours a day on the days im in London x confused

BoffinMum Sat 05-Nov-11 12:32:02

WFH I think a good start would be to treat yourself to a temporary nanny for a couple of weeks to test the water, before committing to a new job where you would probably have to go down this route.

What I would say is that unless one parent is at home a fair bit, au pairs are very stressful, so avoid that as an option.

Hello hello, hotel was lovely and we feel a bit mended, so that's good!

BB3 - you're not kidding on the working/juggling kids thing. I'm currently working four days a week while DP works all hours and works away a lot, and some weeks it's fine and some weeks it's horrendous, so that's why I'm wondering how we would manage this new job.

Mind you I haven't heard anything from them, so I think they're probably offering it to someone else. However, there's a more senior role at work that I might apply for, and a job in the paper today that looks interesting, so we'll see.

Boff thank you for thoughts about temporary nanny - that's a good thought. There's an agency quite near here that might be able to help. And having seen your trials and tribulations with au pairs, I'm definitely steering clear of that idea! grin

Have you heard about your interview yet?

AuldAlliance Tue 08-Nov-11 20:18:49

Glad things are better with DH, WFH. I have no real advice about the work issue, I am not sure my experience is very typical nor very ideal...
Hope the job situation works out in a way that suits you and the family.

Right, now ladeees, I wouldn't like you all to think that I believe the world revolves around moi though of course it does, actually but what are we doing on Fri 18th? Who is coming? Where are we going? I need to know what to pack, cos if it's fish and chips in the park I'll leave the couture gown and tiara at home wink.

BB3 Wed 09-Nov-11 07:05:13

I've just looked on fw fb page and theirs 5 plus me and you but sure there were others <<waits for puzz or gui to come as they're sure to know>> I'll post some venue options today and we can decide xx I vote for ballgown and tiara wearing - that way we'll know which one is you grinwink

Worst night ever with girls - dh hot home at 11. Ayse up at 11.20 and has just gone back to sleep! It's 7am -Edith-May Was up between 1-5! And I've got fillings due at dentist plus ds nursery and he's woken up in a bloody awful mood! Gah!!!

BB3 Wed 09-Nov-11 10:02:51

There's not theirs!!!

ZuluWarrior Wed 09-Nov-11 19:58:08

Oh dear BB. Did you get a sleep today (stupid question)?. How are you feeling now?

I was up from 1.30 til 4 with DS of all people. Pissing about wanting a wee/bunny/anything else he could think of. I ended up putting a pull up on him to stop him using needing a wee as an excuse to get out of bed! It's not often the little one sleeps better than her big brother...

BoffinMum Wed 09-Nov-11 20:06:10

I didn't get the job. sad

ZuluWarrior Wed 09-Nov-11 21:24:49

Oh, sorry Boff. You sounded really positive about it too. As you say, you gave it your best shot. Did it come as a shock?

Oh poo. I'm sorry to hear that Boff. Did they give any reasons?