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May 2009 Towards the Terrible Two's

(457 Posts)
momino Wed 26-Jan-11 22:20:19

Well, here we go again. may this be the start of a thread with lots of positive news and posts smile!

momino Fri 04-Feb-11 20:15:29

Belgina, go with your instincts! very, very reasonable to double check. When is the 2nd scan? I think it's best to be safe. What does DH say?

belgina Fri 04-Feb-11 20:20:45

It's on mon. DH thinks it's best to double check too.

pikachu999 Fri 04-Feb-11 20:59:44

Belgina- i think you've done the right thing too - you need to be sure.

Momino - congrats to your DH - seems like job offers are like buses - nothin then 2 turn up at once wink. Hope you and DH can decide which one to accept. I guess Whitby is good as you can stay in York, but then Liverpool would not be too far from your PIL. And good news that you have the funds for a flight back home smile.

flip- hope DD2s sleep improves. DS2 was a terrible sleeper, and it would take a couple of hours to get him back down. We did have to do sleep training, and even that took a long time, but at least now it is rare if he wakes, and is usually only if he's poorly, teething or lost his muslin (comfort blanket).

smokey- hope the nanny settles in well, and that you get some me-time. I am also in awe of you - you are wonder woman smile.

I have been going to the gym myself, 2 or 3 times a week and it's great just to have time to yourself, and my jelly belly is shrinking. Sometimes my gym visit involves time in the sauna, steam room and jacuzzi which is lovely wink.

Thank for your caring kind words. I am trying to stay positive. My dads treatment has been very drawn out (he was diagnosed in July 2009) and he is the worst he's been after the radiotherapy almost worked, but it has come back with a vengeance. Hopefully the chemo will sort it out. At first all the affected sites were "hidden" but now it is spreading all over, his back, arms and face.

As for work, everyone in my grade has to submit a paper application by end of Feb and should know if we have a job by the end of March. It is worrying that a couple of sheets of words can decide if you have a job or not hmm.

Oh and DD has been bullied again sad. She had muddy tights and I said something about falling over, and she said the same as last time "I didn't have a very nice day". There were four Y2 boys hounding her, calling her names, and then she was pushed over. I was annoyed that again, the school didn't tell me and it was down to DD. All boys have been spoken to and had to say sorry (2 wouldn't which means parents have been informed). I don't know whether I am being precious and over-protective- DD does her fair share of name-calling at home, but the physical stuff is really nasty. I think if it happens again, I will be writing to the head too to find out what they are doing to stop bullying and whether they think it is working.

smokeybacon Sat 05-Feb-11 18:56:21

pikachu your poor dd. Surely the parents should have been informed despite the apologies. I would want to be if it was my DS involved. I don;t think you are being over protective at all.

belgina what a roller coster, but absolutely you should have the repeat scan to be sure of what is happening if you have any doubt at all. Thinking of you. I know these situations are awful having been there myself a number of times.

momi great news about your DHs job.

Went to see Peter Kay last night. Hilarious. But man, he has put on weight. And although there were a number of points where I was crying with laughter, I did feel that he had lost his innocent and nice feel that he had a few years ago. It felt more cynical in places, IYKWIM. Minor points in what was a great night out! And the DTs slept from 10pm to 4am.

essenceofSES Sat 05-Feb-11 20:48:59

pikachu - I agree with the others. I would expect the school to discuss with all parents of the children involved. I hope this doesn't develop any further for her and the school support.
I'm impressed with your gym trips!
You've got a lot going on at the moment. Fingers crossed for your work situation and I also hope your Dad's treatment helps.

Belgina - what an awful rollercoaster. I hope Monday gives you a definitive answer.

Momino - congratulations to you and your DH on the job offers!!! Has he definitely decided on Whitby?

Smokey - sounds like a good night out and well done on those DTs sleeping!

flip - crocheting sounds good and what a great DH to take the day off for you.

Hello to everyone else - hope you're all well and enjoying your Saturday evenings!

As for me, I'm heading towards the end of the 2ww (for the nth time!) At the beginning of the week I had loads of symptoms and now they're all fading and I had a BFN yesterday at 10dpo. AF due Monday but I'm not getting my hopes up!

DS has not been 100% all week (cough and slight temperature) and at bedtime I noticed a spot on his tummy that looked suspisciously like chicken pox. It is only the one at the moment though...

omnomnomtom Sun 06-Feb-11 20:32:16

Belgina so sorry to hear you are having such an awful time. It sounds like work are being supportive.
Cupboard poor DD having lots of tests- I had lots of kidney/bladder problems as a child and although I can remember a bit about having tests and being in hospital it didn't have any lasting effects on me, so although obviously unpleasant it wasn't traumatic iyswim. I hope that makes sense- can't think how to explain it in a less clumsy way
momino great news about the job offers- can't believe you haven't seen your mum for so long, have you a date for your trip?
Ses don't envy you the rollercoaster of ttc- hope it happens soon for you- and eeek at the chickenpox
pikachu sounds like you have a lot going on. Glad you are getting some 'me time' at the gym

No real news here- am still feeling sick a lot but it does seem to be easing and I am starting to gain weight. Also my feet have spread so my shoes are pinching, am usually a size 7 but think I am now a 7.5 however due to my feet being so narrow am finding difficult to find anything long enough that doesn't slip. Went to Clarks today as they do half sizes but the only ones I liked they didn't have in my size so am waiting for them to order them in.
We are on the Sainburys 5 meals for £20 this week- a huge saving on what we usually spend so will being following it for a few weeks if they keep doing it to save up for my mat leave

llareggub Sun 06-Feb-11 23:09:01

Hello everyone. I've been lurking for days, itching to post but keep getting called away.

Belgina I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. Don't feel guilty about the time off, you need the time to look after yourself.

Cupboard how are things with you? Poor DD! Let me know if you fancy meeting for a quick drink after work.

Pikachu I'll be thinking of you and your dad too. Your poor DD seems to be having a torrid time of it at school. Do they have a buddy bench or similar? When my DN was bullied at school he made use of the buddy bench and it seemed to work for him. He had some help with assertiveness too.

Dandy WOW about work. Sounds very promising. With regard to DH and his travelling, could you and the DCs go with him from time to time, or would it be a nightmare?

flip let me know how you get on with crochet. I'm useless at things like that but I've always wanted to be able to "do" something.

Momino great news about your DH's job. Will you have to move? When does it start? I'm so pleased that it means that you get to see your mother.

Smokey I think your DTs are sleeping better than my DS2. envy Hope all is going well with the nanny induction.

I've just got back from the out of hours doctor with DS2, who had a high temp, sickness and a bad cough. I thought it was a chest infection but after sitting there for nearly 2 hours, he had a miraculous recovery and is now fine. He had a lovely chat with a boy with chicken pox so no guesses what might come next!

We started our election campaign tonight with a tour of our ward. I'm standing for the district council and I'm looking forward to getting out and about canvassing. I've only ever done it for other people before so I'm a bit nervous about it. I've just finished my first week of self-employment and it has been great. Such a relief to be out of my job. I'm buzzing with ideas for the business and can't wait to get on it. I even worked last night!

We have some exciting travel news. After a few years of local holidays only due to DH's job, we've been offered an opportunity to go to California to stay with friends. I'm so excited! We're hoping to go in June/July but it will depend on the financial situation by then. I'd assumed that DH wouldn't be able to come but he says he can so it will be wonderful to go as a family.

Hello to running reggiee and anyone else I've missed. Febes how is it all going with you?

llareggub Sun 06-Feb-11 23:09:48

om I meant to ask, when are you starting your maternity leave? I can't remember when you are due. My feet never went back to their normal size, you know!

flippineck Mon 07-Feb-11 13:26:48

belgina - thinking of you today x

Also been thinking of you belgina

Sorry for absence, life is getting in the way of proper MN'ing. Must sort self out and catch up properly.

pikachu999 Mon 07-Feb-11 21:08:48

belgina - also been thinking of you today

llare - yes they have a buddy bench at school. She does have some good friends, but also plays on her own. Once when she said she was on her own, I asked why she didn't sit on the buddy bench and she said "then they'll know I don't have any friends" sad so I think there is a bit of stigma attached to it.

She is quite shy (like me), but then she is often quite happy on her own (like me). She is not as shy as another girl in her class who said to her mum at parents evening "Does your DD talk a lot at home, because I don't think I have ever heard her speak" shock.

I was meant to go to the gym or to play badminton tonight, but I thought i'd make a start on my job application, but looking at the process has just made me panic and worry about what i'm going to put down.

Cupboarddoor Mon 07-Feb-11 21:27:55

Just wanted to pop on to say Belgina been thinking of you today.

Quick catch up
Llare how exciting about election, and travels to California with DH sound v. exciting
Pika sounds like you have a lot on your plate, Mrs. Take care of yourself
Smokey how is the Nanny working out?
Momi so glad your DH has such exciting options to choose between
Om my feet grew 2-3 sizes for each pregnancy, but have returned to normal
Ses hope the 2ww is going OK
Dandy wow, exciting work plans sound intriguing

Things still limbo land here biscuit. Have been requested to see the Headteacher about DD2 (they have been spectacularly unhelpful thus far and are threatening to take her out of school) so that's not adding to my stress levels, much wink

Cupboarddoor Mon 07-Feb-11 21:29:04

Forgot to say hello to everyone else and sorry if I've not NC-ed you.

llareggub Mon 07-Feb-11 23:06:49

HOW can they threaten to take her out? That doesn't seem right to me. Are they being crap?

Pikachu I've always wondered that about the buddy bench but it did work for my friend's DD too. I don't know what else to suggest really, although I've read that martial arts can help with confidence building, but obviously it depends how you feel about it. My niece has really taken to the sport and is doing brilliantly.

smokeybacon Tue 08-Feb-11 13:52:39

cupboard that sounds unbelievably bad on the schools part with your DD. Bad bad bad. How is everything else at the mo?

belgina thinking of you.

I had some bad news last night. My DB who lives in Canada has been diagnosed with a cancerous growth in his lower abdomen. He had a biopsy which has revealed this as the doctors had though that it was benign due to lack of symptoms and its size ( its about 9cm and until 3 weeks ago no symptoms at all and he was only alerted to something when things became a bit painful in that area). So he is due to start on chemo and then an op to remove it but we don't really know much at the mo as far as treatment/time scales and so on are concerned. But the doctor did tell him that if he was to have a form of c ( I can barely say the word let alone type it), this is the one to have as it is treatable. So we are trying to be positive but am, in reality scared for him. Its hard for us here for him to be so far away so can't imagine how he must feel. I just want to support him as best I can and want him home really, I suppose. He hasn't even met the DTs yet sad.

Cupboarddoor Tue 08-Feb-11 19:30:03

Smokey what terrible news. It sounds like he is in good hands. It must be very difficult with him being so far away. What a shock.

The problems I am having with DD2 at school is that because of the UTI / urology probs, she is wetting & poo-ing herself at school quite regularly. So far the school have been helping clean her up, but they have gotten to the point where 'they can't spare the helpers from the class to sort her out.' Their suggested solutions have been either for me / the Nanny to be available on-call to come into school and clean her up whenever there is an accident, or take her out of school until it is sorted, because (technically) she doesn't have to attend school until she is 5 and she is 4 until July. Double hmm. To say I am fuming about the situation is understating it somewhat. I am a governor at the school too, and can't quite believe my child, with a medical problem, is being treated this way. angry. As it happens, DD2 has a consultants appt tomorrow evening which should shed some more light on tests / treatments, and this week she has had no accidents at all, which is taking the pressure off a bit, I hope. But still, Grrrrrrrr.

belgina Tue 08-Feb-11 21:14:17

Hello everyone,

Thank you very much everyone for your kind thoughts.

The scan on mon was confusing news (again) from where i'm standing. I had expected a confirmation of no further growth, but instead it'd grown by 3.3 mm. Still no fetal pole or anything, but as there is some change i cant get myself to go for ERPC, just in case IYKWIM. I was then booked for a scan next Thurs. Then later that day i got a call from EPAC and the nurse told me quite bluntly that the consultant has had a look at my scans and that i have to accept it's a missed miscarriage and that my scan has to be rescheduled so there are exactly 2 weeks between it. The thing is, i do accept that more than likely it's a misc, but i cant be sure if there is some growth. Also i am more than happy to move my scan date, but i dont like the way she told me why.
I'm othetwise still ok. My spotting is getting a bit heavier, but is still nowhere near anything like a period, but i'm sure something's up.
I've also decided to go back to work next fri, no matter what, because i'm fed up with living in limbo.

llare wow, sounds like lots is happening with the elections, the business and the exciting prospect of a holiday to California

pika poor dd. Have you talked to the teachers yet? My own dd used to come home often telling me she's got no friends and the teachers were very surprised as apparently she's actually got quite a few friends hmm. I also agree the school should talk to all parents involved. Ds got bullied and it came to a head in nov when he got into a fight (started and won by ds, and the fact he started it really upset him, bless) He'd never mentioned a thing to us, but once it came out, the school were great. They kept a good eye on the boy in question and stepped in whenever it looked like the boy was going to harass ds again. Ds and the boy are now friends, oddly enough.

smokey how worrying about your brother, however it's good that the drs are positive

cupboard shock at the school. It's not as if your poor dd has got any control over the situation. I hope that the consultant appt sheds some light on what's the problem

momino Tue 08-Feb-11 23:51:07

hi all.
Quick catch up.
Belgina, have been thinking of you. Not liking the nurse's attitude from EPAC. ignore her. I'm glad you're feeling ok but wishing things were more straightforward for you.

Pika, am so sad for your lovely DD and for you, it must feel helpless at times. hope things get taken care of.

cupboard, am sad about your dd's situation as well. I can't believe the school and the way they're treating the situation. how is DD in herself? I hope she'll be able to forget some of this when it's finished.

Smokey, how scary for you. I hope your db is ok and gets it sorted quickly. Will be saying some prayers and sending best wishes. Who is he in Canada with? Does he have a good support network there?

llare, glad your DS is ok smile and good luck with the campaigning.
omnom, intrigued at the Sainsbury's meals and wondering if it could work for us....

Ses, good luck with TCC. Also hope DS is feeling better. Do you think it's CP?

Hello to everyone else not NC-ed.

A quick update in that DH (along with my approval) has accepted the job in Whitby smile. it's less £ but the opportunity he wants. It also means we don't have to move from York for the time being until/unless he decides it's a longer term job and a move towards Whitby would be practical.

We will also start planning our hol to the US for eastertime. I've spoken to my mum who is so excited! She's never met H shock. She'd come to visit for DD1 and 2's births but then her knee was too bad to travel when H was born (she's since had a knee replacement). The last I was home was in 2007 then meant to visit her the following year but got pregnant and then got too difficult to travel, hence 3 years since I've seen her (sob). Just thinking about our 1st hug upon arrival (sob again). can't wait grin.

on that happy note. I must get to bed! good night all.

sausagemashnpeas Wed 09-Feb-11 11:15:09

Hello everyone. Long time no chat. I've been lurking for ages and ages but have never found the right time to say anything on here without seeming gloaty or insensitive.

Just before new year, we found out I was pregnant smile. Only took 2 months of trying, so we were over the moon. I did so want to share after we had the news to ourselves for a bit, but then so much had been happening on here, I felt that sharing my happy pregnancy news would have seemed a little insensitive to some.

M got chicken pox, and I had to go and collect her from nursery on the 27th? or the 28th? lost track of my days now...

However, last Monday (the 31st) I experienced a little faint pink bleeding. Went to A&E and they said it could be just one of those things, scanned me, and there was a little foetal pole, measuring 6+1 and no heartbeat - my dates would have made me 8+4. They arranged another appointment for me the following week to see if the baby had grown and I had got my dates wrong.

Anyway, the bleeding got heavier throughout the week. I'd come to my parents for TLC, and DH came on the Friday to take me back home. Well, to cut a long story short, we decided to stay Friday night after a trip to the local PCT walk in thingy, and was told to rest and take some stronger painkillers. That night, I ended up back in hospital with heavy, heavy bleeding, passing big clots, and in terrible pain. I was in for the weekend, and on Monday I had an ERPC, as the scan showed the sac and foetus were still there, but lying right on my cervix. (crying now) Everyone in the hospital (Swindon) were fantastic, and I had tears streaming down my face in the anaesthetic room. Before I knew it, I was in recovery.

The pain has obviously eased tremendously, and the bleeding has nearly stopped, and I came back to my parents that day, and am still here. My parents are being amazing, helping me with M. DH has had to go back to work, but will come and get me at the weekend. We sat down and worked out that we knew more people who had had a miscarriage that hadn't. I didn't realise it was so common. I just - perhaps selfishly, blinkered, I don't know - never thought that it would happen to me. All I know now is that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I keep thinking that I am all cried out (as Alison Moyet would say) but then I just remember again. sad I know it's a bit daft - I was only just shy of 10 weeks when I had the op - but we had so many plans and dreams already. The surgeon was lovely, he said there's no reason why we can't try again soon, but wait at least till I've had one period. After that, it's up to me and DH emotionally wise. It's promising that we fell pregnant so easily with both M and this time round, so we'll see.

... and just to put the icing on the cake, Mum has a lump in her breast - the biopsy showed there were pre-cancerous cells, so she is scheduled for surgery in just over a week - to remove the lump and some lymph nodes - and then start a course of radiotherapy.

Fuck, basically sad

Anyway. Sorry to be such a bringer of doom, but I am in desperate need of hugs right now - virtual or otherwise. Thanks to those who I have been in touch with outside MN. You know who you are, and your messages have been so, so appreciated.

Might go and hide now. Lots of love to you all, sorry for not NCing - I can't even remember what day it is, let alone what important news any of you have shared.
xx

sausagemashnpeas Wed 09-Feb-11 11:15:40

Just noticed this emoticon: wine

Yes please.

flippineck Wed 09-Feb-11 11:18:52

sausage, I'm so sorry to hear that. Hope all goes well with your mum too. Thinking of you, hugs xxxx

smokeybacon Wed 09-Feb-11 13:35:44

saus big hugs . What a time of it. Having had 4 mcs I can imagine how you feel. But after 3 of mine I got pg v quickly so go for it. No need to even wait. It's just fir dating really and after an eprc I had 2 successful pgs resulting in ds1 and then R. It's like you've had a good clear out iykwim . In the meantime chocolate wine and crying helps A LOT.

I'll add your mum into my list with my brother who need good vibes for treatment for c. Xxxx

essenceofSES Wed 09-Feb-11 14:53:12

saus - thinking of you and sending you hugs and multiple wine
Go easy on yourself and come and offload here whenever you want xx

muddleddaizy Wed 09-Feb-11 15:11:57

Goodness nearly everyone is having such a bad time at the moment.

Saus So sorry to hear your sad news. Lots of hugs and wine coming your way. Hope you're taking good care of yourself and hope all goes well with your mum.

Smokey Sorry to hear about your brother, I hope he makes a full recovery.

Pika Sorry to hear you've got so much going on at the moment. Thinking of your dd. And sending positive vibes for your dad.

Cupboard Can't believe how crap your dd's school is. Hope all goes well with the consultant and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Belgina Sorry you've got no definative answer. The nurses sound like they could learn some bedside manners!!

Momino So glad to hear of your dh's new job and that you'll get to see your mum soon!! 3 years is a loong time!

Omnom glad your ms is easing.

Llare glad everything with the business is going well and the holiday sounds great!

Thank you for all the kind messages about my Grandma.
We had confirmation that my dad has cancer of the prostate so he'll be going for radiotherapy soon. It really is a crap start to this year.

This next bit seems so trivial compared to what people are going through at the moment. Dh has backed out of ttc no3. I was gutted. I can understand why he said no, but I gave him so many opportunities to back out before he said yes. I was making plans in my head all to be dashed. I feel completely fed up at the moment which seems as Ive already said really trival.

Sorry for anyone I haven't name checked

Oh I am so so sorry for everyone having such a crappy time of it

saus I don't know what to say but big hugs and keep talking. I am glad you have lots of support around you x

belgina sorry you haven't had any answers and rubbish treatment x

smokey, saus, muddled my thoughts are with your families for their health and speedy recoveries x

pika sorry to hear you have so much on too and your poor DD. Your school should be being proactive about nipping any bullying in the bud so keep pushing them to do something about it if you can. OFSTED are hot on what a school does about bullying so keep that in mind if you don't get what you believe to be support from the school. As for DD, does she do any clubs or anything that can help her make non-school friends and build her confidence? I was badly bullied at school and brownies and guides was a real escape for me and I made lots of friends from other schools through that which I really valued.

cupboard I am a bit shock at your DD's school. IMO they should be offering support not suggestions to take her out. I don't have much experience of primaries but will have a think if there is anything you can do. I hope the consultant appt provides some support/help/solutions for you all.

As muddled says, what a crappy start to the year. I hope things get better for everyone.

A big mwah all round is required I think x

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