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May 2009 Towards the Terrible Two's

(457 Posts)
momino Wed 26-Jan-11 22:20:19

Well, here we go again. may this be the start of a thread with lots of positive news and posts smile!

Reggiee Mon 31-Jan-11 15:04:00

Belgina really sorry to hear your news sad. Take care and it sounds like you could do with a little bit of time off work. You've had a really stressful couple of weeks [hugs].

Will be back soon but hello everyone else.

belgina Mon 31-Jan-11 16:13:09

Thanks everyone. reggie I've already had 2 weeks off, so adding 2 weeks while I wait for nature to run it's course would take it to a month, which would be a bit long and which is making me feel a bit guilty tirades my colleagues. I'm veering more and more towards the ERPC, as the sooner it's over, the sooner we can start over again.

essenceofSES Mon 31-Jan-11 17:21:38

Belgina - so sorry xx

essenceofSES Mon 31-Jan-11 20:39:30

Belgina - FWIW, it makes no difference really that you've had 2 wks off already. Things have progressed and if you need more time off to cope with the physical effects of conservative management or ERPC and/or the emotional side of things then take the time.

As for your decision, I had an ERPC both times and although I reacted a bit strangely to the GA the first time (BP dropped a bit too much!), I would always go that route again as - like you say - it brings a definitive solution. I'm not telling you what to do but just sharing my honest experience in case that helps.

Thinking of you xx

flippineck Mon 31-Jan-11 20:39:38

belgina - I'm so sorry to hear your news, thinking of you x.

When I had mu first mc, I went for the ERPC, because I couldn't cope with the thought of it going on any longer (there were some similarities with your position now). I'm not sure if I'd do the same again, I just don't know. It's a horrible decision to have to make.

flippineck Mon 31-Jan-11 20:42:15

Cross-post with ses, same kind of thinking.

belgina Mon 31-Jan-11 21:16:59

Thanks flippin and ses. It's useful to hear from others and what they've done. I've decided to go for ERPC as it's been dragging on for so long now. IMO things must have stopped developing a good 4 weeks ago as I'm pretty sure I must have conceived mid dec. So in a way I think my body seems pretty slow getting on with it naturally. The only thing is that due to several reasons, mostly practical. I can't go into hospital this week, so I'm looking at a week of expectant and than if nothing has happened ERPC more than likely on mon (they've got to confirm the appointment tomorrow). I hope things will start naturally in the mean time, but somehow I've got a feeling it won't... Common sense says I should really take this week off, I've taken tomorrow off and am seeing the GP tomorrow to discuss my next night shift on Fri. Gosh. I really hope I never have to experience this again or I'll tell DH we stop at 3. I also blame him. I heard the other day that partners of men over 45 (DH is 46) are at greater risk of misc, even if the partner is in her 20's. I'm joking. Of course I don't blame him, but it sure must be a factor.

Cupboarddoor Tue 01-Feb-11 08:22:40

Belgina just wanted to say so sorry to hear of your sad news. Hope everything goes as well as it can over the next couple of weeks

Cupboarddoor Tue 01-Feb-11 18:38:56

OK, so whilst I'm hogging the thread... here's some news from me! I took DD2 to consultant today. She definitely has a problem with the valve on left side between kidney and bladder causing reflux. So onto more tests to understand the extent of the problem which may or may not require an operation to fix.

As for me and life in general, well that's just biscuit!

belgina Tue 01-Feb-11 19:24:08

cupboard thanks for your message. Your dd's kidney and bladder problem sound like a real worry. Hope it won't need an op.

I Phoned work to let them know about what's going on and that I'd be back next fri. The mw in charge wouldn't have it and gave me the whole of next week off too, which means that I won't be back until the weekend after that and even that she thought might be too soon for me. How kind is that??!

flippineck Tue 01-Feb-11 19:54:04

belgina - that's really good of the MW in charge, hope the time off is the right thing for you and that everything goes ok.

cupboard - it's good that you're halfway to getting a proper diagnosis for your DD. Fingers crossed that the problem is fixable with no major surgery. Hope everything is ok with you too x

pikachu999 Tue 01-Feb-11 21:12:28

belgina- so sorry to hear what's happened. Take care of yourself.

cupboarddoor - let's hope they can get to the bottom of your DDs medical problems and find a good solution - poor DD2 - I know she has been having water infections and stuff for some time now.

I haven't felt very chatty lately, as my mood is a bit low. There is the threat of redundancies at work, and my dad has just started chemo for lymphoma, so lots of stress and worry sad. I thought my PND was coming back, but I think it was just really bad PMT although I haven't had a period for 7 weeks. Can you still get PMT without periods (I am not pg BTW).

pikachu999 Tue 01-Feb-11 21:17:29

Just in case you missed my namechange earlier, I previously had a repetitive name and have a DD, DS1 and DS2 wink

belgina Wed 02-Feb-11 09:00:17

Thanks pikachu also thanks for the reminder as to who you were again. I did see your namechange, but couldn't remember. Ds and dd1 would very much approve of your new name. They're huuuuuge Pokemon fans.

Dreadful night here. C has got a cold again. I'm starting to wonder if her amount of colds she's getting is normal. Ds and dd1 used to get 2-3 over the whole winter. C seems to get one every other week. As soon as she's back to normal and she's got a few days of eating normally again, another cold arrives. It makes tackling her sleep so difficult, because I don't really want to do it when she's not well. At the same time I'm completely fed up with broken nights. In a good night I get woken twice. Both ds and dd1 were sleeping through the night for a good year by this stage. <sigh>. With everything that's been going on, I really do need some decent sleep too.

Apologies for my little sleep moan, btw.

Hope you're all ok.

belgina Wed 02-Feb-11 09:02:32

Oh, pika so sorry about your dad, must be very hard for you. Have you got PCOS? Or could your lack of period be stress related? It does sound like you're going through quite a bit at the moment.

flippineck Thu 03-Feb-11 10:56:54

Pikachu - that's a lot going on at the moment, hope some of the pressure eases soon. Hugs.

belgina - sorry to hear C is ill again. Do you think it might be an allergy rather than a cold? Just wondering as there's been so many. And I feel your pain about the sleep, A is still dreadful and I can't work out what to do about it. She usually only wakes once in the night but will be awake for a couple of hours, she won't settle in her cot but if I take her in bed with me she a) gets really cross because I won't feed her (I've stopped completely, I just can't do it any more) and then b) fidgets for hours, crawls all rund the bed, hits, kicks, pinches. Last night she woke at 3, I tried for an hour to get her back to sleep in her cot, then gave up and she came into bed with me and DH where she kept us awake until 5.30. We're all shattered.

blush sorry, that turned into a rant of my own there!

Waves to everyone else!

smokeybacon Thu 03-Feb-11 19:27:43

<pops head round the door>

Wot no cocktails????

belgina so sorry to read your news. Hope you get through it ok and also that C picks up soon.

pika are you feeling better now? Hugs from here too. You have a lot on at the mo so not suprising you are feeling a bit low.

dandy exciting news for your DH but another one here who understands why you wouldn't want him to be away sun to fri. At least its only temporary. And glad to see you have your head round the whole neg test thingy.

flip I feel your pain. R was the same until we sleep trained him in September. Before that I could count on one hand the number of times he slept through in the year before that. He would end up in our bed every night with similar consequences to you. So we had 2 weeks of sleep training and he is now sorted. It is very rare now that he doesn't go through. Just the DTs to sort now!

momi thats very exciting about your DHs opportunities. I wouldn't hesitate on the Seattle thing! But then I'd only be a few hours from my DB in Whistler so it would be a no brainer for me. Can understand your trepidation though.

The nanny has started here now one morning and one afternoon a week. Its going ok I think. Its just a matter of us finding a groove I think. In due course I will start going to the gym on a Thurs morning when she is here, leaving her with R and the DTs. At the moment, I'm around quite a bit and R is still in nursery on Thursdays. That will be changing as we have to save a bit of cash somewhere.

Sorry not to NC everyone but hope all ok and will be back soon.

momino Thu 03-Feb-11 23:40:45

Hi all.
Belgina,so sorry for your news. For my job, I've got resources/websites with info on dealing with such a loss - I can forward but you prob have similar resources in your job (?). do let me know. am thinking of you, xxxxx

pika, I kept meaning to ask about your dad. he was diagnosed a while ago, wasn't he? Hope he's doing ok and handles chemo well. with you, I think you've got a lot on your plate at the moment, I'm not surprised you're down, depressed. allow yourself to feel that way, ok? and take some time out for yourself. (can you tell, I've just been to a counselling session smile?)

flip, hope you get some sleep!

Cupboard, sorry about your DD but as the others say, I'm glad there is a diagnoses - I hope you can get the problem solved.

Smokey, hope the nanny settles in well. will be lovely to go to the gym - you must be well overdue for time to yourself, eh? can't imagine how you're doing it....

actually, I just saw a mum who had a baby slung on her front, a toddler in the pushchair and a 3/4 year old on buggy board and thought, (first) 'she's mad!' and (second)'crikey that was me when H was born!'. but oh, how quickly has that passed. it has become easier with dd1 going to school last sep. anyway, I bow to you, Smokey.

so, on the DH front: two job offers! one in Whitby (first choice), second in Liverpool. the Seattle one has closed because they want to hire quickly so will go local (I'm relieved, DH a bit disappointed). We're quite happy, because both offers are reasonable and the Whitby one will allow us to stay in york for the time being. most importantly, we can keep some of the redundancy which will pay for our trip to see my family!!!! I can't wait. three years it's been since I've seen/hugged my mom. I can't wait!

on that exciting note, hello to everyone else and hopeyou're well. I really must go to bed!

flippineck Fri 04-Feb-11 07:41:45

momino - brilliant news about your DH's job, that must be such a relief for you all.

smokey - envy (in a nice way, of course!) at the nanny, hope it all works out well and that you do get some good time to yourself!

Well, after my monster grumble yesterday, A had a much better night last night - she woke once, I went in and gave her a cuddle, shushed her a bit and then went back to bed. I lay there awake for ages waiting for her to start again (the usual pattern) but she obviously went back to sleep because next thing I know it's 6am and she's awake! She does this though, we might have a few good nights just to lull us into thinking she's sorted it out and then it starts again. And the thing is that when we do have a good night it's nothing we've done differently so have no idea what works confused.

I'm teaching myself to crochet! Well, I went on a course on Wednesday at our local craft shop to learn the basics, DH had the day off work to look after the girls bless him. So now I'm just practising doing squares but I need a project - anyone got any suggestions of very simple things?

flippineck Fri 04-Feb-11 07:42:46

Pah, posted too quickly.

belgina - how are you? hope you are ok x

belgina Fri 04-Feb-11 09:33:05

flippin thanks, I'm ok. I'm about to phone the hospital, because all of a sudden I just feel dcared that I've made a mistake and that the baby is ok after all confused
My first crochet project was a scarf. Nice and easy, just all straight IYKWIM.

momi. Great news about your DH's job offers. And you must be so relieved that seeing your mum is on the cards soon
The hospital gave me some good info about miscarriage and I do have some stuff floating about somewhere too. I've mainly read the things of the Miscarriage association leaflets and website.

smokey glad the nanny is working out ok. I agree that it does take a few weeks to all settle and run smoothly. We get that with au pairs

momino Fri 04-Feb-11 14:56:18

Flippin, so glad A had a good night last night. and very impressed on the crochet! I just don't have patience to crochet or knit but would love to. Ihope you get on well with it.

Belgina did you call the hosp? I can imagine how you'd feel so confused, you've been through such a roller coaster lately. Take care.

flippineck Fri 04-Feb-11 16:19:46

belgina - what a horrible feeling. Hope you were able to talk to or see someone to ease things.

belgina Fri 04-Feb-11 16:54:02

Thanks everyone.

I called the hospital. They've booked me in for a repeat scan and cancelled the ERPC for now.

belgina Fri 04-Feb-11 19:06:08

I'm back with a bit more time now to explain what's going on.
You know (or maybe not) how you've got to be careful with what you say in bad situations, because people might pick up a little thing you say and take it and blow it up. Well, that's sort of what's happened. I keep thinking about the scanner saying that there was an implantation bleed at the first scan. Than at the 2nd scan she said there was a big one, bigger than the gestational sack. Now I keep thinking: what if all the energy went into implanation first and now it's actually growing? Probably completely irrational, but I can't let it go and really want to double check it. On top of that I my symptoms have got worse and my belly has got bigger,...

Oh, flippin You know, maybe there was something in the air last night as C slept non stop until 4 last night for the first time in probably months!

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