Is it my duty to get a job and pay tax now both children are at school?

[OrdinarySAHM]

Should I be contributing to things like NHS, rubbish collection, policing, education etc (not necessarily in that order of importance) and the economy as a whole, by paying tax if it is physically possible for me to work?

I am not claiming any benefits or tax credits as DH has a well enough paid job. We don't need more money to live as a family.

But now I'm wondering if this is a moral/political question I should be asking myself.

On the other hand, I feel my children benefit from having someone who loves them, there for them after school, who does reading/extra homework with them as well as teaching them general lessons about life. I don't want someone else to do this for me, I want to do it myself and feel that I know it is being done properly.

I could work while they are at school if I was lucky enough to find a job that is only til 3pm, but then they would have to be in childcare during school holidays. I want them to be with someone who loves them for as much of the time as possible and don't know if the cost of childcare would make it not worth having the job. I don't have huge earning potential with my skills/experience. Would I be paying much tax anyway with a part time job only earning a mediocre wage?

Then there is the reason I gave up my part time job (part time since having the children). I gave up because I felt stressed from rushing about and trying to think about lots of things at once and feeling tired all the time. These things were making me really bad tempered with my kids and I didn't feel like a good mother. I gave up work to concentrate just on the one job of being a mother so that I could try to get better at that. Maybe some people can cope with the stress and tiredness without becoming more bad tempered with their kids. I admire them. Maybe I could do this now too because I am in a much more emotionally healthy state than I was when I gave up work. I don't know, and guess I can't know unless I try it.

Sorry this is long winded, but I would appreciate anyone's thoughts on this because I'm feeling guilty about not contributing to the economy and don't know if I should feel guilty or not!

[pagwatch]

If your family income is taxed then you are paying tax.

If you feel that you perform best as a parent by being at home then you should do it.
families comprised of individuals who are happy and support each other contribute to society by producing good citizen.

People should work if they wish to or need to. If you don't wish to work and have a family income to support that then I am not sure why society would have a problem with that

[LadycAshcroft]

OrdinarySAHM Please, do not feel pressurised. Do what is best for you and your family. You do contribute, pet. You are looking after the house, your DH and your children. Unpaid. If it is too stressful for you to take on work as well, you could end up spend more days on sick leave and nobody wins.

Some of us need to work, because I for one am more stressed when I cannot work even if just part-time.

[wannaBe]

no.

You need to do what is best for your family, and it sounds as if that is staying at home and being there for them.

My ds is at school and I have been thinking about going back to work, but tbh finding a job that fits in with school hours and holidays is virtually impossible.

But I feel I contribute to society in other ways - I help out at school, am governor, on PTA - obv not being paid and don't pay tax but that doesn't make my contribution any less valid.

Plus my dh is a hr taxpayer so I think we contribute more than enough financially.

[nowherewoman]

You are contributing by looking after your children as best you can. Just because your contribution is not generally valued very highly by society, doesn't mean you're not making it

[sethstarkaddersmum]

I agree with the other posters.

You know, this thread really underlines to me something I have been thinking about lately - that it is exceedingly unfair to blame women for wanting to 'have it all' when what is really going on is that they are driven by their sense of duty to feeling they ought to be doing it all.

You are already contributing to society by doing the unpaid work of looking after children and a home. If this was properly valued you would not feel guilty. And if there were proper opportunities for women to work at a level that suits their qualifications but in a way that fits in more readily with family life, you would not have to base your decision on the fact that you know it would be so stressful it would be detrimental to family life.

[DumpyOldWoman]

If your DH can earn enough fo the whole family without you having to rely on extra benefits / credits, then no.

Otherwise, yes. WOHM with school age children manage perfectly well to support their children emotionally and educationally even if they use some childcare - it doesn't justify the state supporting 100% SAHP just to be with the children ALL the time once they are at school, IMO.

But you see lucky enough to be able to make a genuine free choice that doesn't require outside suport, so no reason to feel guilty. But how would you be fixed if anything happened to your DH or your marriage? A certain degree future proofing, and potential for self sufficiency are good for a woman, I think.