The Mumsnet Manifesto (Mumifesto even?)

(74 Posts)
JustineMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 01-Apr-10 01:03:33

Hi all,
Given that we've been somewhat thrust into the spotlight this election, we thought we'd put together a list of Mumsnet's key policy recommendations - a Mumsnet Manifesto, if you will - with the hope that some or all might make it into the big three manifestos, due to be launched in a week or two. Do let us know what you think and whether there's anything crucial we've missed?


RobynLou Thu 01-Apr-10 01:06:07

we may even put some Mumsnetters forward under an MNP banner


I love the 1st April


coldtits Thu 01-Apr-10 01:15:40

Removal of church control from state funded schools.

Alouiseg Thu 01-Apr-10 07:12:59

Has your potential chancellor worked out how the country can afford all that?

April Fool ;-)

ProfYaffle Thu 01-Apr-10 07:29:28

Lol @ Fruit Shoots and vending machines.

morningpaper Thu 01-Apr-10 07:49:47

tax relief on tampons and biscuits?

StewieGriffinsMom Thu 01-Apr-10 08:17:02

Increased provision of [qualified] SENCOs and ed psychs in schools.

Increased provision of [qualified] TAs for children with additional support needs.

Before and after school care as standard.

More schools for children who find mainstream schools difficult.

More investment in ground-level social services working with families.

An end to nuclear power.

Legally required solar panels on all new builds.

Wind and wave farms

All of this paid for by dumping Trident.

Dedicated buggy lane on pavements so I don't get stuck behind people who don't know how to walk in a straight line. [I'm looking at you DH]

morningpaper Thu 01-Apr-10 08:27:24

PCSOs in school halls at lunchtime to ensure that Healthy Schools guidelines are being met

I don't know what we would call them though

Slimcea Thu 01-Apr-10 08:28:19

god am finding it hard to care abotu election.

CMOTdibbler Thu 01-Apr-10 08:34:47


Don't forget PCSOs in supermarkets to enforce no eating before you pay for grapes

morningpaper Thu 01-Apr-10 08:43:52

Could we perhaps argue for a database of all Health Visitors, so we can score them according to (a) controlled crying advise (b) crap breastfeeding advice and (c) style & beauty

AvadaKedavra Thu 01-Apr-10 08:51:28

Tax free gin

changeychangey Thu 01-Apr-10 09:27:56

A huge amount more money from the UK going to the developing world, to pay for maternity services, childcare, education, healthcare for everyone but especially children.

I'd pay more tax for that!

Spidermama Thu 01-Apr-10 10:01:57

A tax on Greggs sausage rolls which will raise money for new equipment in playgrounds.

MummyAnnabella Thu 01-Apr-10 10:19:12

goodness is it just me but i thought that was serious until i got to the transport section. that and the fruit shoots gave the game away!

i would seriously campaign for the family section ones!!

mrsbaldwin Thu 01-Apr-10 10:21:21

More ladies public loos, with attendants and quilted (recycled) loo roll, to be funded from a special new tax on IT contractors

sandripples Thu 01-Apr-10 10:25:32

Several good ideas here, which I support, but some are unworkable eg the right to demand flexible working hours and the right to a guaranteed state school place at school of choice.

Both these are ideal but fail to take any account of the context

-first of the employer - their business and service to be provided- their need to meet personal needs of of elderly or disablbed for example which do not fit neatly into flexible hours to suit parents. As an example elderly people often need care in the evening when parents often wish to be child-caring. It is not possible to be able to meet every demand for FMW.

And schools are not infintiely expandable - they have restrictions for example, on size of building which quite simply means a place cannot be guaranteed. This is a bit simplistic as a policy!

wannaBe Thu 01-Apr-10 10:39:22

pmsl at those posters responding to this seriously.

mrsbaldwin Thu 01-Apr-10 10:40:25

Also, amendment to the Building Regulations to require a minimum of twice as many women's loos as men's loos in any new public building.

Hassled Thu 01-Apr-10 10:49:03

All constituency candidates to take a Reasonability Test before being selected. If they are unreasonable on any issue then they're out.

sockmonkey Thu 01-Apr-10 11:00:07

Loving the fruit shoot one.

Free sanitary items and chocolate to be delivered once a month...just the chocolate for those who are pg.
Maybe a chocolate in pregnancy grant? Or one of those mobility scooters for the last couple of months.

bibbitybobbityhat Thu 01-Apr-10 11:00:37

Free laptops provided for parents according to the number of rooms in the family home, thus allowing seamless mumsnetting educational interaction with the dc no matter what other chores you really should be getting on with.

We'll have 7 please.

PuppyMonkey Thu 01-Apr-10 11:04:07

Don't forget to put in something like child-free weddings to be banned. wink

DuelingFanjo Thu 01-Apr-10 11:06:06

is it an April fool?

Because I think this is bizzare "Parking attendants to be issued guidelines giving greater flexibility over the issuing of parking tickets when the parent of an infant is involved"

Why should parents be allowed to park in a way that is not extended to other people?

ScreaminEagle Thu 01-Apr-10 11:07:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sockmonkey Thu 01-Apr-10 11:14:03

i got one on another thread too
<feels special>

PenguinNZ Thu 01-Apr-10 11:16:12

Oh dear, I'm gonna sound really boring after all these witty and intelligent posts, but a tax on processed and sugar filled foods. If it's a product that doesn't rot after 3 months, then tax it! (Fresh and real foods better and tasier for us all)

And this come from a cadburys-aholic, but if booze is taxed, then why aren't 'fake' foods which will cost the NHS so much more in the long run.

scottishmummy Thu 01-Apr-10 11:16:52

its a wish list,and unattainable
have you costed it?how will this be afforded?what implementation dates do you have in mind

sterotypical to say the least,to have a manifesto wish list about buggies spaces and P&T parking!hmmm talk about grouping and generalising the mummies and reinforcing notion of maternal politics. gender or maternal staus doesnt necesssarily determine women will be botherered about parking and pram spaces. think you have largely missed the mark with a mummy manifesto

re:Health - with predicted global cuts how will these recommendations finance

* Guaranteed one-to-one midwife care during labour. - recommended and being implemented different rates.but need to recruit and retain extra mw
however many trusts have job freeze at moment

* phasing out of all mixed-sex hospital wards- this is already policy and ongoing with different roll out dates.

scottishmummy Thu 01-Apr-10 11:19:17

cycling christ on a bike,its a wind up of course.april 1st

no one could seriously advocate that mince

doh,had me goin

lingle Thu 01-Apr-10 11:22:12

more flexible school starting age please please please Justine! appropriate children to be allowed to start reception at 5.

please please please please please please please

pretty please

NewNameOldTopic Thu 01-Apr-10 11:23:58

Not a ban, but a warning label on all food and medicine market for children which contains artificial sweetners (nutrasweet, etc.).

And a ban on nutrasweet in school dinners. (except of course for diabetic children)

bibbitybobbityhat Thu 01-Apr-10 11:26:52

Oh ladies <sigh> when will you ever learn to read the whole thread?

scottishmummy Thu 01-Apr-10 11:28:53

oh sigh could you be any more patrionising bbh

Free chocolate for mumsnetters,

ScreaminEagle Thu 01-Apr-10 11:33:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Awww just chill out and have some chocolate instead smile

wickeddevil Thu 01-Apr-10 11:35:11

Could I have my own PCSO at home to ensure that family members clean up after themselves?

bibbitybobbityhat Thu 01-Apr-10 11:39:57

Here you go: there's only one i in patronising grin.

Don't mind me SM - not reading threads properly is a particular bugbear of mine. I posted an op about it the other day and spawned a long thread of hundreds of posts! When I express a wish that people would do it my tone of voice is more exasperated than patronising tbh. Its just one of my little irritations about this wonderful place.

Igglybuff Thu 01-Apr-10 11:40:31

I see fried eggs not bunnies!

lingle Thu 01-Apr-10 11:41:46

bibbity - probably never blush

scottishmummy Thu 01-Apr-10 11:45:37

i type fast and habitually make spelling mistakes- best get used to you wouldnt want to come across as one of they biscuit arses who pickity pick about would you

and well sometimes a cursory glance to op and pile in is best way to post

bibbitybobbityhat Thu 01-Apr-10 11:58:25

Just my little joke hen. Indeed I would not want to be thought of as a biscuit arse.

scottishmummy Thu 01-Apr-10 12:04:12

you see mn is online blethering dinnae let the spelling slow me down.ignore the spellcheck

and hell yes dont always pile through a thread before stickin ma oar in

i do like biscuit arse as an expression though

justaboutkeepingawake Thu 01-Apr-10 12:15:19

I am ALWAYS taken in by April Fools. Didn't read the Mumifesto itself but was horrified that MNHQ would do something so crass and opportunistic.

Housemum Thu 01-Apr-10 12:52:45

Loved the fact so many taken in by it. (Though some policies were bordering on sensible...)

Personally I'd have put a stamp duty on Crocs ie you are allowed to stamp on the feet of anyone over 10 wearing them outside of a hospital (you're forgiven if you need hose-downable theatre shoes!). Personally I'm thinking that DD2 is looking to old for them at 7, but I'll sit here for a bit until the Croc devotees throw rocks at me grin

Housemum Thu 01-Apr-10 12:53:31

was seeing if bgrin produced a bunny, but that must be a Burn's night grin [egrin] ?

morningpaper Thu 01-Apr-10 13:17:11

chuckling @ Chocolate in Pregnancy grant

NettiespagettisMiniEggs Thu 01-Apr-10 13:31:21

[scotgrin] I want one come on give over all these posh smileys please share? Pleaaassse specially Scottish one please x

StewieGriffinsMom Thu 01-Apr-10 14:22:43

No one wants a dedicated buggy lane then? sad

I thought it would be good for my pedestrian rage issues so I don't have to keep knocking down little old ladies. [sigh]

NettiespagettisMiniEggs Thu 01-Apr-10 14:34:30

i agree a buggy lane would be good as i do suffer from inconsolable pedestrian rage. I also suffer from mobility scooter rage, taxi rage, smoking rage, eating rage and litter rage.

I'm just one lil rage ball and i dont think we outta go there!!


amothersplaceisinthewrong Thu 01-Apr-10 14:57:47

A penalty system for mobility scooters simliar to that for cars - ie penalty points, speeding tickets, bans once enough points have been racked up.

Instant arrest for anyone wearing the following

Dungarees if you are over the age of 6

Crocs - unless you work in hospital or are an inpatient

Jeggings/treggings/leggings, double sentence if worn with a crop top and wobbly belly on show.

lagrandissima Thu 01-Apr-10 17:11:19

Better funding to maintain and improve the fabric of state school buildings. I work in the secondary sector, and IMHE many school buildings are dirty, run down, and overcrowded (particularly with regard to classroom size, many of which have barely any room for children to move once they are squashed into their seats with their bags).

It is a disgrace that we are happy to house our children for 6 hours a day in such accommodation, and all those politicians, both local & national should be ashamed of themselves as they sit in their air-conditioned, clean, & comfortable modern buildings.

MrsTicklemouseWantsBunnyEars Thu 01-Apr-10 18:36:38

By StewieGriffinsMom Thu 01-Apr-10 08:17:02

Before and after school care as standard.

This is a very good idea and would perhaps ecourage more dossers, i'm not talking SAHMs with small children i'm talking dossers, back to work therefore decreasing benefit payment/increasing tax income for government, although i suppose if the lower tax threshold is raised it might not generate that much

And the people who get in my way I would really benefit grin it from a cycle lane

Lol I love the idea of the MNP!

Daisybim Thu 01-Apr-10 19:57:21

I'm probably not your average mumsnetter but if it's hard bringing up children when they're tiny, it's sure as hell hard when they're teenagers. So why not some sort of Sure Start-type support to help parents struggling with our young people, what with the drinking, the staying up all night, accessing pornography online and stuff.

onebatmother Thu 01-Apr-10 19:59:06

Yes. Mu scales-from-eyes moment was when I realised that I am completely priggish enough to vote for the MNP candidate. ESPECIALLY the grammar lessons for three-year-olds, which IMVHOAE is actually waay too late.

policywonk Thu 01-Apr-10 20:36:12

I believed this until the very last line. I was thinking 'Justine has LOST HER MIND'

bibbitybobbityhat Thu 01-Apr-10 21:48:19

The list was cleverly done and v subtle.
Big ticks all round grin.

BecauseImWoeufIt Thu 01-Apr-10 21:48:56

I have been chortling at this all day - especially all those who have taken it so, so seriously!

(But I'm cheesed off that I have missed Tech's trickery with the Easter emoticons)

onebatmother Thu 01-Apr-10 22:33:28

BIWI - I just want to say that IMO you have, and always have had, the best Easter name. Unassailably.

BecauseImWoeufIt Thu 01-Apr-10 22:39:56


Which is why it gets dusted off every year!

lincstash Fri 02-Apr-10 00:10:31


we want the damn Police Nanny State dismantled. W

e want the restoration of all the civil liberties labour has stripped us of in the last 14 years.

We want the removal of various statutes that give entire undemocratic powers to petty beurocrats, such as RIPA.

We want the massive databases of state, which the state is patently unable to keep safe and protected, taken apart.

We want rid of the DNA database except for people actually found guilty.

We want rid of the ID cards , whos technology has already been broken, and now simply represent an ideal opportunity to steal your ID.

We want the right to silence restored, the right to trial by jury, and the right to legal assistance returned.

We want detention without trial stopped, we want rid of ALL secret courts, including the secret family courts, and we want to abolition of the ability to hold secret coroners inquests.

We want civil liberties and freedom of speech restored to what it was before Labour destroyed it.

justaboutkeepingawake Fri 02-Apr-10 07:46:45

Er - lincstash, I think it was meant to be a joke.

aviatrix Fri 02-Apr-10 08:02:03

Now let's have one which isn't an April Fool - I think we have time to pip the tories and labour by the election....just think!

allchildrenreading Fri 02-Apr-10 08:26:38

All schools to guarantee that every child learns to read before leaving primary school. Good synthetic phonics teaching from teachers who understand how our alphabetic code works, with extended help for children who take longer to acquire the basic skills.

Nothing more. No SENCOs, no Ed. psychs, no massively expensive 'catch-up' programmes. The hell for many kids who reach secondary school age unable to access the curriculum is
almost unimaginable for those of us who picked up 'reading' without any problems.

The solution would literally save billions of pounds a year if all the problems created by illiteracy are factored in.

LibraryLil Fri 02-Apr-10 16:15:32

I'd like to add something under Transport, please:

That when the only toilet on trains is 'out of order' (as the ones that run from the coast through Maidstone to London and back always seem to be) passengers (especially expectant Mums and those with toddlers) are allowed access to another one somewhere, even if it's just a portaloo in the guards van.

Also would you please tell David Cameron that the conservatives will NEVER win my vote as long as he says he'll bring back foxhunting. There's enough cruelty in this world for my daughter to grow up in and know about, and it's time that he stopped pandering to those who enjoy this sort of thing.

Thank you!

onesmallkayak Sat 03-Apr-10 17:48:31

Money saving ideas

Morning school only, finishing at 1pm

or else

all children do a 4 day school week with the expectation that parents do something educational with them on their day out

Teenage mums have to be in a 2 adult household to get housing benefit, but any arrangement within that rule is acceptable. (A great way to ensure that children of young people are safe.)

onesmallkayak Sat 03-Apr-10 17:53:48

And I like Matthew Parris' idea (Spectator Manifesto) of a blanket dissolution of all laws passed during this Labour government - including the fox hunting bill - because, interestingly, I like foxes.

onebatmother Sat 03-Apr-10 20:06:44

"Teenage mums have to be in a 2 adult household to get housing benefit, but any arrangement within that rule is acceptable. (A great way to ensure that children of young people are safe.) "

Or a great way of ensuring crappy boyfriends have huge leverage over teenage mums.

onesmallkayak Sun 04-Apr-10 18:37:04

You know, most boys take a long time to learn to read and write, to speak, to start thinking meaningfully about life and yes, even to learn how to be functional partners and parents. So what do you do? Chuck them into the rubbish and give up on them or persevere until they get it right? It's messy work but someone has to do it.

onebatmother Sun 04-Apr-10 19:27:47

Not quite sure if that was in response to me onesmallkayak, but if so, I'm a little confused, sorry.

justaboutkeepingawake Sun 04-Apr-10 20:37:23

onesmallkayak, I can't quite see where your last point fits with the others.

Unless you are suggesting that you make young mothers endure terrible treatment at the hands of dysfunctional or irresponsible young men at the risk of losing their benefits. Fail to see how this can possibly help anyone get it right.

DocBennett Sun 04-Apr-10 23:11:17

I don't quite understand the 'Fruit shoot' item. I don't think I have or ever will purchase this offending item but I'd rather make the choice myself than have an overbearing paternalistic State infantalising its citizens.

onebatmother Mon 05-Apr-10 22:30:53

Doc, I think it was an April Fool. Though the restraint of your conservatism is admirable grin

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