Ha ha ha! Toby Young sticks it to the Gurniad and Labour luvvies

(98 Posts)
Wellwobbly Wed 26-Jun-13 12:37:59

There's a great example in the Guardian this morning of what Americans call "gee whiz" journalism, as in, a piece of news greeted as if it's jaw-droppingly sensational when, to the rest of us is, it's bleedin’ obvious. I'm talking about John Harris's belated discovery that "the yoof" don't share the values of the liberal, Guardian-reading metropolitan elite. Incredible as it may seem, they're not pro-immigration, pro-welfare or pro-redistributive taxation. According to Ipsos MORI, only 20 per cent of 18-34-year-olds agree with the statement "the creation of the welfare state is one of Britain's proudest achievements". How dare they?!? Most amazingly of all – to Harris, anyway – is that Generation Y don't blame the "Con-Dem cuts" for youth unemployment. Haven't they been listening to Len McCluskey?
The most telling passage in the article comes at the end, when Harris meets a 27-year-old in Warrington who's just got a job after a bout of unemployment thanks to the government's Work Programme. Harris asks him whether he thinks his joblessness was his fault.
"Yeah," he says. "I do. I think I should have applied for more. I should have picked myself up in the morning, got out, come to a place like this – tried more. When you're feeling down, you start blaming the world for your mistakes – you feel the world owes you. And it doesn't. You owe the world: you have to motivate yourself, and get out there, and try."
Harris describes this reply as – wait for it – "heartbreaking". Yes, it breaks the Guardianista's heart that this young person doesn't think the world owes him a living. Instead of becoming welfare dependent, trapped for the rest of his life in poverty and despair – as any self-respecting member of the proletariat should, doncha know – he's actually gone out and found himself a job! Oh tempora! Oh mores! What's become of the client state? It's as if 13 years of New Labour never happened.
Harris blames "Thatcherism" for the proletariat's false consciousness – and the fact that Labour hasn't been a proper socialist party since Tony Blair ditched Clause IV. The "up-by-your-boot-straps Conservatism of Norman Tebbit and Margaret Thatcher" (yah, boo, sucks) went "largely unchallenged during the New Labour years" and is now accepted by millions of young people as "a simple matter of fact". Echoes here of red daiper baby Owen Jones, whom Harris singles out (alongside public schoolgirl Laurie Penny) as a beacon of hope amidst all the gloom. Owen thinks "the rightwing media" is to blame for brainwashing the lumpen proles. If only the poor sods read the Guardian or the Independent, then they'd know THE TRUTH which is that the millionaire-Tory-Bullingdon-Boys-ruling-class have a vested interest in keeping them down.
Hmmm. Call me a capitalist running dog, but I can think of another explanation for Generation Y's lack of enthusiasm for the values of John Harris, Owen Jones and public schoolgirl Laurie Penny.
Maybe – just maybe – the reason 18-34-year-olds aren't wild about the consequences of Labour's open-door immigration policy is because they noticed that nine out of ten jobs created under the last government went to foreign-born workers.
Maybe – just maybe – the young residents of towns like Warrington aren't in lockstep with John Harris and Owen Jones and public schoolgirl Laurie Penny when it comes to state hand-outs is because they've witnessed the appalling, destructive, calamitous impact of welfare dependency with their own eyes.
Maybe – just maybe – the reason more 18-24-year-olds say they're going to vote Conservative (31 per cent) than Labour (27 per cent) is because they recognise that Britain wasn't in a great place after 13 years of the other lot in power, that we need to get the deficit under control if we're to avoid joining Ireland, Greece, Portugal, Spain, Italy and (any day now) France in the bankruptcy club and that David Cameron and George Osborne's plan for digging us out of this hole is just a teensy weensy bit more credible than Ed Miliband and Ed Balls's.
No, silly me. It's because they've all been brainwashed by The Sun.

Wellwobbly Mon 08-Jul-13 10:52:59

And now Sean Thomas is joining in!

Revealed: how I posed as a Left-wing nutjob on the Guardian's Comment is Free – and got away with it
By Sean Thomas

I love the Guardian. I just do. I love Polly Tuscany’s shrill disapproval of frequent flyers, I love the fact that Seumas “Marxist” Milne went to Winchester College, I love those pricey Guardian seminars on How to be a Professional Travel Photographer, which followed their recent series of expensive lectures on Making a Profit from Typewriter Manufacturing.
But what I love most of all about the Guardian is Comment is Free. That’s their joyously nutty equivalent of Telegraph Blogs. Indeed I love Comment is Free so much, two years ago I joined the Guardian comment threads under a pseudonym to see just how crazily, pungently, sputum-frothingly Lefty I could be, and still be accepted as sane, indeed sagacious, by my fellow Guardianistas.
My first comment, in June 2011, following some picayune political row, was this:
“I can't believe you are all falling for this pitiful Tory decoy. What's new here? Everyone knows Gordon Brown was trying to unseat Tony; Brown was just trying to do his job as a politician, and as a morally centred human being, and keep Labour in power.
“If only Brown had succeeded earlier! Then we wouldn't be faced with this literally homicidal government. For God's sake, Muslims are being kicked in the teeth, GPs are being publicly horsewhipped, and disabled folk are literally having filth smeared across their faces, just so the Bullingdon Tory Boys can have a laugh.”
To be honest, I thought I might have crossed the line first time, and I would be rumbled as a trolling libertarian immediately. Yet this borderline-psychotic comment got six “recommends” from my fellow Guardian commenters.
They agreed with me.
I realised I had to go further. The next day, under a Polly Toynbee column about something-or-other (does anyone care? No) I wrote this:
“You tell them, Polly. I work mainly in the public sector in the north, and I see what is happening with my own two eyes. The chortling Tories are literally smearing filth over the faces of the poor, and pushing the heads of black people into leather buckets.
“I know two – TWO – babies that are literally starving TO DEATH because of Gideon Osborne. And disabled people are just left to rust like old tumble dryers.”
Surely, I reckoned, they must wise up now, surely the Guardian commentariat must realise I am satirising their enormous stupidities? I even left a hefty clue with the odd, obsessive repetition of the word “filth”.
Yet no. This comment got thirteen recommends. My comrades below the line were actually rallying to my flag.
At this point I almost gave up, defeated. But then I thought I’d give it one more bash, so I wrote this, underneath an article about the Johann Hari plagiarism scandal:
“I totally agree. OK he nicked some other people's quotes, from different interviews, and put them in his own articles, for a few years – so what? He was after the truth, and sometimes you have to cut corners.
“Look at the Mail or the Murdoch press, they destroy ENTIRE LIVES. Look at the government, literally smearing the faces of the Disabled in chicken filth.
“Look at Cameron and Osborne, strutting around in jackboots, stamping on the heads of hardworking women, kicking the faces of paraplegics, jumping up and down on the spines of the unemployed and cackling. Compared to that Hari is nothing.”
I was particularly proud of the accusation that the Government is LITERALLY “smearing the faces of the Disabled in chicken filth”, which is so ludicrous as to cause conniptions in the sane, whilst continuing my obviously schizophrenic obsession with chickens, filth, and literality.
The result? It got FORTY-FIVE recommendations from my fellow Guardian commenters. It was one of the most admired and agreed-with comments of the day. I had therefore proved that Guardian readers are LITERALLY delusional, and idiotic, and I had proved it in a particularly delicious way. Soon after that I quit, my work done, but the whole thing still gives me pleasure to this day.
And that, as I say, is why I love the Guardian.

Wallison Mon 01-Jul-13 20:07:28

Oh really? I suppose all of this crap about "strivers and skivers", getting on your bike and looking for work, immigrants causing problems by not integrating, "hard-working families" not having suitable housing because of under-occupying (even though there is nowhere for under-occupiers to move to) etc etc etc ad infinitum isn't preaching then?

TabithaStephens Mon 01-Jul-13 19:06:34

It is not the job of politicians to "challenge public consciousness"! They are there to represent their constituents in parliament, not to preach from on high and tell people what to think.

GobbySadcase Sun 30-Jun-13 20:31:34

Everyone knows someone who is a fraud, eh?
Of course.
That's why I am getting spat at, verbally abused and my notability car criminally damaged.

If you know someone is defrauding report it, not snipe round here to distort perception even more than the media have.

Wallison Sun 30-Jun-13 19:11:29

Sounds like a grand night out.

beatback Sun 30-Jun-13 18:37:37

I am going to audition for Britains Got Talent "I AM GOING TO SING ALL THE BRITISH PRIME MINISTERS" and their Economic theories.

Wallison Sun 30-Jun-13 18:32:34

Can you eat fire as well? Or glass? That would be super-cool.

beatback Sun 30-Jun-13 18:21:30

Keynesian Chicago School/Monetarism/Gold Standard /Fractional Reserve banking. look im ready for my "SELL OUT" World tour. Chill out and dont be PERSONAL"

Wallison Sun 30-Jun-13 18:06:19

NO NEED TO SHOUT.

beatback Sun 30-Jun-13 18:02:57

A DOUBLE ACT WITH ED BALLS THEN.

Wallison Sun 30-Jun-13 17:58:58

Not only a firm grasp of economic theory but also a mind-reader. You should go on stage beatback - it's fucking uncanny.

beatback Sun 30-Jun-13 17:57:55

You probably believe anyone with a 4 bedroom house in surrey is a rich bastard dont you.

Wallison Sun 30-Jun-13 17:57:22

Yes. Yes, I do. You can tell that because it's exactly what I said.

beatback Sun 30-Jun-13 17:54:27

do you belive in 97% tax rate for high earners then. Anyone worth more than 150K should be put in prision for 5 years and have all assets taken and redistributed to the less fortunate.

Wallison Sun 30-Jun-13 17:45:09

And horseshit 'bloke down the pub' stories about people getting free BMWs for no reason do nothing to change that.

Wallison Sun 30-Jun-13 17:41:25

No. People who are being found fit for work are dying because they are clearly not fit for work and should never be put into the situation where they are told they are. The reason they are being told that they are is because politicians of all parties want to be seen to stomp on benefit claimants because they believe that they are seen as scroungers in the popular consciousness, and politicians want to engage with that consciousness rather than challenge it, because they are worried that if they challenge it they will lose votes. Also, especially in the case of the tories they are ideologically opposed to the welfare state and will take any opportunity to eat away at it. They don't care what happens to the people who will no longer be supported by it.

It's a fucking disgusting use of human capital to use benefit claimants in this way which has fuck all to do with fucking motability.

beatback Sun 30-Jun-13 17:35:16

The system under any goverment even a Communist Goverment will be based on budget. Do you think 11000 people have died because they have had a few pounds cut from them though welfare cuts. I except it is very unfortunate and very difficult to live on benefits but i dont think 11000 people died just because of welfare reforms. The reason even the labour party will do the same is because of the gross waste in public expenduture there will never be enough money under any Goverment .However if you could eliminate the waste there would probably be enough money not to have to make benefit reforms. One of the biggest rip offs going on at the moment is "MOTABILTY" where in some cases people without any disabilty drive "BMW"s and "MERCEDES" all paid for by the state. I know about this because someone from my extended family who has a mild walking complaint as a brand new "GOLF" she knew she did not deserve the car but they kept on telling her she could have one, she tells me that she has friends who have Mercedes and Bmw convertibles and that the claiment does not even drive, its for their mate and the claiment even makes profit on the car i know of one family who have two houses on benefits and even rent out on of their council houses. If this kind of abuse was got under control people who though no fault of their own would need to suffer. Unfortunatly and this is not a party politcal point some people know how to work the system meaning that some people like O.A.Ps and people with disabilities and people who try to not abuse the system end up losing.

Wallison Sun 30-Jun-13 17:22:13

Do people really still think that national debt is the same thing as household debt? Jesus, I'm far from being economically literate but even I know that it's a fatuous comparison.

Wellwobbly Sun 30-Jun-13 17:10:56

It is making the rich richer and the poor poorer.

Wellwobbly Sun 30-Jun-13 17:10:10

'Labour have no answers. All they ever do is milk the taxpayer and waste the taxpayer's money and eventually leave notes saying "sorry, there's no money left".

This is what is so terrifying. NO politicians have any answers. This debt started when Nixon unlinked the dollar from gold in 1972.

It ceased to be an instrument of wealth, and instead became an instrument of debt. This is bigger than all of us, folks. The counterfeiting/printing of money 'quantitive easing' carries on apace.

GobbySadcase Sun 30-Jun-13 16:56:52

YOU might not want cuts to disability benefits but that's what is happening and by and large unless directly affected themselves people are doing nothing.

In the meantime people are dying, as I said previously 11,000 in 18 months.

The review only this week has included disability benefits in the welfare cap. This is a dangerous move towards a system based on budget rather than need and does not acknowledge that with disability it costs to even approach a level playing field with others.

More will die. More will have to choose to heat or eat.

This is not solely aimed at the government, the opposition have said they will do the same.

So no, YOU might not mean this but those in power do. Every time you backslap on the wonders of welfare reform you further the entire thing, including disability cuts.

Bad things happen when good people do nothing. Right now people in my situation are stunned by the silence.

claig Sun 30-Jun-13 16:27:01

March hare

claig Sun 30-Jun-13 16:04:43

"such is his Economic nonsense i dont think he actually believes it himself"

If he does believe it , then he is madder than a march hare. I think he plays a good game, he plays a good act, but little of it is for real.

beatback Sun 30-Jun-13 15:44:44

CLAIG. Once again people have assumed your thoughts on immigration,benefits and the N.H.S without reading what you are saying .That is because many of the posters on here have been brainwashed by the media to automatically discard thinking that is not from the mainstream politcal partys. Therefore unable to think about voting anyway different from the cradle to grave loyalty to thier chosen politcal party .It was very enlightening watching Question Time on thursday night from Newcastle, where it was evident that audience members under 30 were very dismissive of the labour repersentative and the economic nonsense coming from Balls and Milliband who with their face pulling have made Prime Ministers question time a joke. It is so childish i half expect Balls to start laughing and declare that your on "CANDID CAMERA" such is his Economic nonsense i dont think he actually believes it himself.

Wallison Sun 30-Jun-13 14:21:17

I'm just referring to how he is, which is a twat.

I do agree that UK politics is overrun with posh boys in all parties - the ultimate expression of this being the Bullingdon lot currently taking their wrecking ball to every safety net in sight, for shits and giggles as far as I can make out. And Labour are precious little better, and the lib dems have no spine.

But I don't think the answer to this is to vote for a party that is racist, sexist and full of pie-in-the-sky policies that would never actually work, headed up by fool.

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