My dd is very upset by some paranormal thing 'following' her, please advise

(171 Posts)
lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 22:41:29

We are on the last day of a holiday in Devon and dd2 has told me throughout the holiday she keeps seeing a see through figure which has a derby hat and a long coat but no face and keeps approaching her with red and yellow lights. if she moves, it moves in front of her.

I know this sounds crazy but she is really upset, not at all like this at home and my dm has seen the ghost of a little girl on this holiday too.

She does not want to go to bed. Is there anything I can do to stop her seeing it? She's 9. We are going home tomorrow so hope that will be the end of it.

Who saw something first - your DM or DD?

lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 22:46:52

My dd - she said the thing was coming into her room when she went to bed. Then tonight she saw it in the living room. My mum saw the little girl last night but we didn't discuss that with the children.

Do you generally believe in paranormal stuff?

lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 22:50:34

I haven't seen a thing, but yes I do believe. My mum is not in the least woo though and had never seen a ghost before.

Iwillorderthefood Fri 16-Aug-13 22:51:25

I would sleep with her tonight, and just hope that going home would spell the end of it.

HotDogWater Fri 16-Aug-13 22:52:37

Can you go home tonight?

lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 22:52:50

Yes she's going to sleep in with me tonight. I really hope that will be the end of it.

lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 22:53:55

We can't go home tonight because my parents are too tired to do the long drive and my mum has gone to bed already. I think maybe it would have been better if we had gone earlier.

It just sounds like a vivid imagination to me - though perhaps by believing in this stuff you give it credence. If you have suggested that this might be a real thing then sleep with her tonight and make a breezy comment tomorrow about "everyone knows that ghosts can't travel far, so once we go home you won't see it again". If this sort of thing persists then take her to your GP.

joanofarchitrave Fri 16-Aug-13 22:55:04

I think I would talk calmly to her about it - perhaps she could say 'excuse me' to it if it blocks her way?

Bakingnovice Fri 16-Aug-13 22:57:52

Go home, setting off early. And try and trivialise in conversation. Even though its not a trivial matter.

lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 23:00:36

I hope it is just an overactive imagination. But she's a very sensible girl and not fanciful at all. Bakingnovice - what do you mean? Do you know what it could be?

lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 23:00:53

We will be setting off before 9am.

geologygirl Fri 16-Aug-13 23:02:29

If you have a mirror put it opposite the door inside the room you are sleeping in. No idea why but my dad has seen things since childhood and I believe this has helped with a presence. Ark of the covenant wording over entrance ways as well. hopefully once you leave and go home the spirit wont bother her anymore. Your poor dd.

Kithulu Fri 16-Aug-13 23:06:29

Where are you staying? I am imagining a holiday cottage. When you do get home I think you should speak to the owners let them know and ask if anyone else has seen anything.

lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 23:09:02

It's an apartment in Ilfracombe which was probably once Georgian houses I think but has been done up.

Bakingnovice Fri 16-Aug-13 23:12:51

I don't know what it could be but it's very scary if your daughter is experiencing this. I'm sure I read a thread on here a few weeks ago where posters talked of a tall long scary ghost figure. It had some significance but I can't remember what.

What I meant by saying its not trivial is that you obviously know your dd better than anyone, and if she is experiencing this then it's a big deal. For her and you. I would also second mr rooming it to the owners.

Bakingnovice Fri 16-Aug-13 23:13:17

*Mentioning

How old is your DD?

Coconutty Fri 16-Aug-13 23:18:39

Your poor DD must be terrified. I'm sure once you leave tomorrow that will be the end of it.

I am a bit woo and have seen ghosts and even though I am an adult and actually knew one of them still felt a bit scared afterwards.

Can you sleep with her tonight in case she wakes up and gets scared?

Kithulu Fri 16-Aug-13 23:20:53

hmm how about looking/asking on the Ilfracombe ghosts fb page. Just thinking that if others have found the same,well, you might feel reassured to know that. ??

lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 23:21:22

The figure she sees is not tall - she said it's about her height.

I will certainly mention it to the owners - I think this is a new place that has only been rented out for 1 year. It's a lovely place and none of us had a bad feeling about it - quite the opposite. But I think next time we'll go elsewhere!

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Fri 16-Aug-13 23:22:08

I'm not woo at all, but I would probably sleep int he same room as her tonight, and go tomorrow. BUT - silly feeling - are you feeding/validaing her imagination by doing this...?

lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 23:22:17

She's 9 MrsCakes

I think it is reasonable to sleep with a scared child, but I would personally work not to validate this as a real thing. Though that is from the perspective of someone who isn't at all woo and more thinks of MH issues when people see things (not that I think your DD has mental health issues, just a good imagination and a background that somewhat supports woo).

CoteDAzur Fri 16-Aug-13 23:30:06

Well, if I had to guess...

(1) She knows you believe this stuff and is vying for attention

or

(2) Schizophrenia or similar mental disorder that causes hallucinations/delusions

lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 23:32:50

Cote - thanks for that helpful perspective hmm

lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 23:36:01

She's a very well adjusted child who is normally skeptical about such things.

I think I am saying the same as Cote.

lemontwist Fri 16-Aug-13 23:37:59

Or maybe Cote just a child with an imagination who might actually be feeling a little scared. Surely at this stage suggesting MH issues is just a little OTT.

lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 23:40:09

The schizophrenia post is just intended to be rude and unpleasant imo.

lemontwist Fri 16-Aug-13 23:41:21

Agreed Lottie

CuttedUpPear Fri 16-Aug-13 23:42:31

Sorry your DD is upset by this. I hope she can get through tonight ok.
Sorry also about Cote's post.

lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 23:43:25

I know that not everyone believes in this stuff but I didn't post to get mean replies. I really hope it is just to do with her being overtired. Earlier in the holiday she drew a picture of what she thinks she sees. She's never spoken of anything like this before. Of course I am worried because this is out of character for her.

That's a hard age to cope with this sort of thing - little enough to need you to take control of the situation but old enough not to let you get away with fobbing her off.
I hope she sleeps OK tonight with you, I agree she needs the reassurance. Do you think it would help to make it clear that she is sleeping with you because she is scared (like she might if she had a nightmare) not because there is anything real for her to be scared of.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 16-Aug-13 23:45:22

I had similar with my DD but she was younger. I am woo too Lottie but I had to minimize if for DDs sake. I felt that to discuss it as if it were real would only give it "power". When she wasn't around I told (them) to bugger off as they were scaring her. Try that when she's not about but when she talks about it, say that it's her imagination. Don't let her believe in it.

She may not be doing it as cynically as Cote's post makes it sound, it may just be an imagination thing, but if you generally give the impression that woo exists, you shouldn't be surprised if your DD's imagination runs away a bit. Just like if my toddler DD asked me if monsters are real and I said "yes", I think she would be far more likely to "see monsters" than if I say "no, they're just pretend"

DioneTheDiabolist Fri 16-Aug-13 23:46:11

Ffs Cote, seriously?shock

OP, you are going home tomorrow. If your DD mentions it again, tell her that it can't follow her and she will be fine. In the meantime be the security and safety she needs tonight.smile

lottieandmia Fri 16-Aug-13 23:47:03

Oh of course I have been making light of it to her - to do otherwise would be unfair.

CoteDAzur Fri 16-Aug-13 23:48:23

No, my post wasn't rude nor unpleasant. Nor was it intended as such.

If this were my DD who is similar in age to yours, I would have thought of exactly the same things.

I would shower her with attention, spend lots of quality time together etc and see if she continues to talk about this "apparition" and I would take her to a doctor because hallucinations are not normal at any age.

Bluegrass Fri 16-Aug-13 23:50:49

I think vivid imagination that needs comforting, but it staggers me that people find cote's suggestion offensive (well known medical issue that can cause hallucinations and whilst unfortunate is treatable) but will let pass suggestions that this is some sort if other worldly manifestation. Seriously, ffs! I know which one i find completely unhelpful and far far more disturbing.

BoozyBear Fri 16-Aug-13 23:51:14

try a little visualisation if you're still up and reading.

Clear your mind.

visualise the apartment, how it looks, the walls, the room boundaries, the outside of the building, get a good picture in your mind.

See if there are any 'dark' spots that just feel 'wrong'

If there are, imagine a white light in them, simple, pure, strong. Imagine that white light expanding out from the center of the rooms to the walls and out. Imagine it filling the building, pushing out the dark.

Once that light fills the rooms, push it out again to the outside, to cover the walls, the doors, the windows, the roof, under the floor. envelop the building in a ball of pure white light.

Imagine that ball of light becoming solid on the outside, keeping everything negative and bad outside of it, and the inside peaceful and calm.

When you have it set in your mind, tap the floor three times and drop the visualisation.

CuttedUpPear Fri 16-Aug-13 23:51:53

Actually it was both rude and unpleasant.

The OP needs support not suggestions that her child has MH issues.

DioneTheDiabolist Fri 16-Aug-13 23:54:13

Not saying that it's otherworldly Bluegrass, just far more likely to be the imagination of a child away from home than manipulation or madness as Cote so unhelpfully and IMO rudely suggests.

CoteDAzur Fri 16-Aug-13 23:54:34

Oh grow up.

CoteDAzur Fri 16-Aug-13 23:56:34

"OP needs support" is your interpretation.

To me, thread title looks like a WWYD.

perplexedpirate Fri 16-Aug-13 23:58:05

But she may have MH issues. She's seeing things ffs!
I think you should be thinking about taking her to the GP ASAP, OP, just to rule out anything serious.
Probably just an over active imagination, but surely better to be safe rather than sorry.

You may well be making light of this to her now, but does she know that you generally believe in this stuff. To use the toddler analogy, that would be like saying "yes monsters exist" but when DD saw one saying "oh, no that one isn't real".

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Fri 16-Aug-13 23:59:58

cote LOTS of children see things...what they are I couldn't say but neither would I assume mental health issues with no indication of that at all in any other way.

Both of my children have "seen" all kinds of odd stuff. Imagine if ALL the parents whose child "saw" a thing or a ghost or a monster went running to see psychiatrists with them...there'd be all kinds of problems!

Bluegrass Sat 17-Aug-13 00:00:32

Dione - other people have embraced "otherworldly" with alacrity! And I'm not sure it's quite pc to refer to schizophrenia as "madness" these days.

CoteDAzur Sat 17-Aug-13 00:00:45

I didn't say "manipulation". Children sometimes make up stories, and some of those are told for attention from friends and family.

It doesn't mean they are manipulative. It is a normal part of growing up.

allthingspossible Sat 17-Aug-13 00:01:24

lottieandmia
She is no schizophrenic and nor are you and your mam woo. That was v unhelpful by the other posters. She is a young child and has experienced a paranormal experience. It is frightening and unsettling for her, so sleeping with her as you already said you are doing is the best thing tonight and setting off in morning. It would be interesting to find out the history of the old Georgian place as it originally was once you are back home and have time to deal with it then.
I have had a few experiences myself. I know the ones as a child were most unsettling, as I felt vulnerable and ignored by the adults around me who didn't believe me. I had more experiences as a teen and in my early 20's living in many student digs that were old converted buildings. Some people are more sensitive than others and can hear/ and or see things. It doesn't always make sense why.
Now I have a very open mind and am quite spiritual in my belief system as believe there is an awful lot out there beyond what we experience on a day to day basis living in now time
Hope you all manage some sleep tonight before the journey home [unmumsnetty hug flowers]

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 17-Aug-13 00:01:30

Perplexed If you did a survey on Mumsnetters on how many of their dc had "seen" things you'd find the amount very high indeed. It's not a case of "She's seeing things ffs!" but more a case of "how do I make her feel safe again? How do I minimize this?"

CoteDAzur Sat 17-Aug-13 00:03:21

"How do I minimize this?"

Maybe start by not assuming that it is real?

But Neo, do children persistently see the same thing and at the age of 9?

BoozyBear Sat 17-Aug-13 00:08:20

my 6yo currently keeps seeing zombies in the corner of his room.

am i minimising it? Yes, however, not in a way that makes him think mummy doesnt believe him.

Something is upsetting the OP's daughter, telling her she is possibly havin MH problems is ignorant and very very rude.

Children are sensitive, it may be she is projecting something else thats bothering her or she could be picking up on some odd energies in the house.

It is better to tackle it than to ignore and invalidate the childs feelings.

Allthingspossible that is a very unhelpful post as you are giving even more credence to this being real. OP - minimise it and never talk about your beliefs in this stuff around your DD and you shouldn't be troubled with it all again.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 17-Aug-13 00:08:41

Cote I said nothing about it being real

Breathe I have a 9 year old..very well adjusted indeed but with a huge imagination. Once the lights are out she sees ALL kinds. I know that they're just shapes etc...shadows...but to a 9 year old, they could be anything when she's alone in her room. 9 isnt'; very big at all you know.

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 17-Aug-13 00:10:29

Schizophrenia is something that takes highly trained MH professionals months if not years to diagnose, especially in children. It is a serious lifelong illness. It is bang out of order for anyone to even suggest it over the Internet to a poster whose DD has been having a scary experience while on holiday in a strange house.angry

allthingspossible Sat 17-Aug-13 00:16:22

breatheslowly

I am not and was not at any point suggesting that OP actually does anything other than sleep with her child reassuring her and leaves in morning. Investigate after it they wish. The only scaremongering going on is from unhelpful posts like yours suggesting to OP that there is something seriously wrong with her child and hot footing it off to a quack doctor at the earliest opportunity. That surely did not help the OP at all, in the slightest. Talk of hallucinations etc as if the poor mite was deranged somehow angry

I think if it continued on when the OPs daughter was at home and other things started to happen then schizophrenia and other mental health issues should be addressed.

But at the moment this is a young child who probably has been freaked out by something. Whether it was a certain noise, saw something on the television, saw someone creepy looking etc and it manifested into seeing something, namely a 'ghost'. It probably feels very real and upsetting for her so minimise it in the sense that nothing is going to happen to her, but don't make her feel stupid as that is not helpful.

I'd just let her talk about it if she wants to and to be there for her if anything else scares/bothers her.

allthingspossible Sat 17-Aug-13 00:21:15

I sincerely apologise to all medically trained mental health professionals for using the term "quack" in my previous post. It was actually meant tongue in cheek. I do admire your work. Sorry for my rant.

CoteDAzur Sat 17-Aug-13 00:22:05

If she actually thinks she has seen it, of course hallucination is the most probable explanation. Why are some of you finding this offensive?

If she hasn't really seen it, she might just be making up a story, something to interest mummy in a subject she possibly knows mummy is already interested in.

I never knew that woo people are so aggressive hmm

AgentZigzag Sat 17-Aug-13 00:22:16

The way your post was written Cote, it did come across as though you were taking the piss.

You'd take your DC to see a doctor just because they told you they'd seen something they couldn't explain Perplexedpirate?

What an overreaction and waste of time. Or were you just using MH problems to have a dig at the OP too?

perplexedpirate Sat 17-Aug-13 00:26:49

If she was upset to the point that she couldn't sleep alone, of course I would.
Why wouldn't you? Is seeking medical advice when someone is having disturbing hallucinations really overreacting?

AgentZigzag Sat 17-Aug-13 00:28:13

(taking the piss as in insinuating the DD must have MH probs, not taking the piss out of the OP for being woo Cote)

<aggressive but only very slightly woo>

Allthingspossible. I just said take her to the GP if it persists. Not hot foot it to a "quack", though I would much rather see a "quack" when I am I'll than anyone else, what with their 6 years of med school, years of post qualification training and evidence based approach to treatment.

On the other hand you have said "she has had a paranormal experience" and are encouraging her mum to believe in this stuff by saying how upset you were when you had a "paranormal experience" as a child.

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 17-Aug-13 00:30:31

Even if this child is hallucinating, there would be many other things to rule out before schizophrenia would be considered. It's like telling a parent whose DC has had a headache while on holiday that it's probably a brain tumor.angry

AgentZigzag Sat 17-Aug-13 00:30:56

Of course I wouldn't go running off to the drs for that Perpelexed grin

I'd just think she was tired and her eyes were playing tricks, as they do.

I wouldn't put it down to hallucinations in the same way I wouldn't think she was seeing some dead bloke.

There are plenty more plausible answers.

lottieandmia Sat 17-Aug-13 00:31:17

I think I would know if she had a mh problem but if she did then it would surely present when we're out of the place too. I'm not really going to engage with suggestions she has schizophrenia or that I don't give her enough attention so she makes up crazy stories.

I suppose the reason I posted was to see if anyone was familiar with what she saw because she became very upset about it today. I just want to go home now.......

perplexedpirate Sat 17-Aug-13 00:33:09

I'm a bit confused as to why it's being been as 'having a dig' and 'very, very rude' to suggest someone might have a MH health problem.
I suggested taking her to a GP as they can rule out various conditions if this persists. It must be horrible for the poor child.
But this is a very odd, aggressive thread, so I'm off.
Good luck OP, I hope your daughter's OK.

lottieandmia Sat 17-Aug-13 00:33:41

Exactly Dione. Generally I just keep an open mind about everything. If it continued at home and became worse of course I would take her to the GP immediately. But I do also think that sometimes things happen that we don't have the answers to. That doesn't mean I automatically think she's seen a ghost though.

Once my DD is beyond the age where imaginary friends are common the I would take my DD to the GP if she "saw things" persistently. I'm. Not a doctor, but I do know that seeing things as more than a transient vivid imagination thing is unusual and may be worth investigating.

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 17-Aug-13 00:36:11

Lottie, please don't be upset by the ignorance and lack of understanding shown by some of the posters here. Settle yourself and be the calm, reassuring presence your DD needs tonight.smile

OP - does your DD know that you think that?

allthingspossible Sat 17-Aug-13 00:36:14

Mmm, I think in general terms ( as well as this subject) the people that only view things in black and white are the more aggressive in their opinions when making their point.

Interesting that some posters are equating seeing things as a pre- requisite to having mental health problems ( obviously I must be a basket case then grin. I myself find that very delusional on their part, personal opinion. Also the poster that said and " never mention it again" dismissing the child and her feelings.
As you were grin

bootsycollins Sat 17-Aug-13 00:36:20

Arw your poor dd, that sounds terrifying.

OhDearNigel Sat 17-Aug-13 00:38:47

Ffs. Schizophrenia is a lot more serious than a 9 year old thinking she has seen a ghost on holiday.
A doctor would laugh you out of the surgery and anyone suggesting you need to seek professional advice is surely having a joke

AgentZigzag Sat 17-Aug-13 00:40:48

Perplexed, it's having a dig because you're arguing against one extremely implausible answer to what's going on with another extremely implausible suggestion.

Do you genuinely think the OP should consider taking her 9 YO to see their doctor because you think she might have schizophrenia?

Was that serious advice?

Or have you chosen one stereotypical symptom of schizophrenia to get across just how ridiculous you think people are who say they see/believe in ghosts are?

SinisterSal Sat 17-Aug-13 00:42:05

Hope it works out ok lottieandmia. Hoping you both sleep well tonight, you go home in the morning and that's an end to it. She probably is just a bit freaked out away from home, strange shadows, maybe met some other kids with tall tales and it's all jumbling up in her mind.

MrsHoarder Sat 17-Aug-13 00:42:30

Lottie I just want to reassure you that at about that age I "saw a ghost" repeatedly on holiday in a cottage. I am a complete sceptic and have no MH problems.

Given I have occasionally hallucinated due to severe sleep deprivation since , I think the excitement of a large group holiday plus too much chocolate over Easter was too much for me.

I'm sure your DD is fine and after a calm night in her own bed it will all be pretty much forgotten about.

Quaffle Sat 17-Aug-13 00:43:16

Oh FGS.

It's rude and unreasonable to suggest that ONE of the MANY reasons for this child seeing things COULD be MH related.........but the many ridiculous posts assuming that the reason is paranormal, they're perfectly reasonable and worthy of consideration??

Laughable.

AgentZigzag Sat 17-Aug-13 00:50:38

It's shit if the person isn't actually suggesting it seriously Quaffle, and just using MH as an example to show the OP how ridiculous they think they are.

That the explanation of her seeing a ghost is on par with taking her to the doctor because she's got schizophrenia, and equally as implausible.

perplexedpirate Sat 17-Aug-13 00:55:31

Agent, I never mentioned schizophrenia.
Are you confusing me with another poster?

lottieandmia Sat 17-Aug-13 00:56:19

I am quite sad about it as the children have had a lovely time here, playing together and I have actually got on well with my parents too (which hardly ever happens!) She is obviously afraid though as she won't leave my side. But when we get home and she sees her pets again I think she will be ok.

SinisterSal Sat 17-Aug-13 00:57:37

I am sure she will be. Hugs to you both

AgentZigzag Sat 17-Aug-13 01:00:24

You're right, you widened it to include other MH problems Perplexed, it was Cote who suggested schizophrenia.

Oh FFS.

A 9yo thinks she's seen 'something'. It could be overactive imagination, it could be simply eyes playing tricks, it could be any number of things. We have no evidence that ghosts/spirits/paranormal stuff exists. But we also have no evidence that they don't.

The OP simply wants suggestions on how to handle it, not a huge discussion on whether her DD has MH problems.

OP, don't raise the subject at all. If your DD wants to talk about it, listen but don't react IYKWIM - neutral "uh-huh" answers, as if she were talking about a boring tv show. If she's really distressed at home, worrying if she'll see it again, just sort of brush it off like "Oh, that was at the cottage - we're home now," and then distract her with a book or something.

Oh FFS there are no such things as ghosts. Grow up, the lot of you.

OP, the most likely explanation is that your DD has read something/seen something on TV/been told ghost stories by someone else, and her imagination has gone into overdrive, helped by the excitement of the holiday. The most sensible thing to do would be to reassure her that, when we are tired/overexcited/in a strange place, we sometimes see things that aren't there, but it's nothing to be frightened of. With a much younger child, OK, I would advocate a bit of 'parental magic' ie using a 'ghost spray' or giving her a 'lucky charm' of some kind, but 9 is a bit big for that sort of thing.

AgentZigzag Sat 17-Aug-13 01:10:07

Oh FFS!

<desperate to fit in>

SinisterSal Sat 17-Aug-13 01:10:13

Pipe down SGB, you are being rude.

perplexedpirate Sat 17-Aug-13 01:10:49

Actually Agent, that wasn't me either. While i did mention it, MH issues were being discussed way before I first posted.
But anyway, lots of different conditions can cause hallucinations. Could be psychological, could be physiological, could be an eyesight issue, could just be an over-active imagination.
Thing is, I am still of the opinion that its better to get these things checked out to rule out anything serious. Obviously I'm not advocating running to the doctors every time a child says something at odds with reality, but when a 9 year old is too afraid to sleep in their own bed, IMO that needs investigating.
I don't see what it is that's so inflammatory about that, really.

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 17-Aug-13 01:18:42

But it's not her own bed. It's a strange bed, in a strange house, in a strange place, outside the child's normal routine. There are a load of more likely reasons than MH issues.hmm. And to even suggest schizophreniashock is either ignorant or insulting and possibly both.

perplexedpirate Sat 17-Aug-13 01:27:25

Dione, can I please make it very clear, I didn't suggest schizophrenia.
I said it may be a MH issue.
If you read my last post, I also say it may be a whole bunch of other things, and that's why I suggested professional advice.
And if you really are insisting on splitting hairs, for 'own bed' please read 'the bed to which the child is currently assigned'.
hmm

UnstoppableCousCous Sat 17-Aug-13 01:39:33

She could easily be making it up to get attention. Not in a manipulative way, but because she feels like being close to mum and so has come up with a story which validates this. I agree that 9 is not very old, and I can remember having similar thought processes at that age. You ask WWYD and if it was my child I would be sympathetic to her emotions and feelings but be very firm about the fact that ghosts probably don't exist and that she is safe. I would probably indulge her a little bit, re being close and cuddles, because I would believe that this is what she in fact wants.

I very much enjoy the 'spooky' threads on here but it has to be said that the vast majority of the stories are either 3rd hand accounts from people who may well be just telling them for effect or urban legends that I have heard before. In particular, it was found that the 'long thin man' story was copied and pasted from a fantasy fiction website.

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 17-Aug-13 02:05:33

Perplexed, I am well aware of who posted the schizophrenia suggestion. I would like to point out that a child who is frightened on holiday is miles away from possible MH issue. The own bed post is not "splitting hairs". The fact that she is in strange surroundings may actually be the reason that she is a bit frightened. I can't believe that you recommend professional advice before the child actually gets home.

Children see stuff/get scared all the time, but feel free to rack up to your GP anytime yours think there's a ghost in the wardrobe/monster under the bed.hmm Personally, I would suggest that some reassurance and possibly a bit of parental magic should do the trick.

Adikia Sat 17-Aug-13 02:12:21

No idea what it could be/what caused it but I can remember getting scared by a similar thing when i was about 9 on holiday in the new forest, my parents made a fuss of me, let me sleep in with them, then when we left Dad told me it couldn't follow us home because it wouldn't be able to keep up with the car and didn't know the way to our house, I never saw it/imagined it again.

AlbertaCampion Sat 17-Aug-13 02:20:55

Ah yes, because schizophrenia is such a common/valid diagnosis for a 9-year-old child on the UK. hmm

OP, what drivel you have had to endure on this thread! Unusual for the battiest posters to be the anti-woos. grin

headinhands Sat 17-Aug-13 08:09:58

'Allthings' I am offended with the suggestion that people who have hallucinations are deranged.

perplexedpirate Sat 17-Aug-13 09:21:04

Dione, please read my posts before replying.
I didn't suggest that the OP go to the GP before they go home (aren't they going home today? How would that happen? They're in Devon, not Gallifrey). I actually said 'if this persists.
It is very boring to keep having to point out what I actually wrote.

Kithulu Sat 17-Aug-13 09:22:40

OP I hope you got a good nights sleep yourself after last night, and have an easy journey home.

Rooners Sat 17-Aug-13 09:29:22

It's probably something to do with her eyes imo.

(hope that doesn't make me rude and unhelpful)

noddyholder Sat 17-Aug-13 09:32:31

I think cote has thrown up the most likely scenarios It can only be either a hallucination or a bit of a tall tale. Obviously comforting your daughter and keeping an eye on her when you get home is all you can do.

A combination of excitement of being on holiday and having to sleep in a strange place imo.

What's your house like OP? Is it modern? A Georgian apartment would have much higher ceilings and more creaks and lots of alcoves that would cast strange shadows compared to a more modern built house.

It's the end of your holiday, she probably also homesick.

Plus when you get home I would not mention it at all.

sashh Sat 17-Aug-13 09:48:48

Hope everything is OK and you are on your way home now.

I had a friend who constantly woke up at 4am with the feeling someone/thing had been in her bedroom

She wanted to move.

One night her and her dp started talking in bed and ended up talking all night. At 4am their neighbour set off to work, as he backed out of the drive and turned the car around two perfect circles of light made their way around the room and appeared to leave by the window.

It was just a reflection of the neighbour's headlamps.

OP I hope it is something as simple as that.

Rather than dragging her to the Dr I would think it was something like lights or light being reflected.

A poster for a circus showing a clown in the same window as somewhere selling those glass fishing floats that seem to be brown/orange with strong sunlight could easily reflect at a child's height. Does she wear glasses? That would add to the effect.

If it something like lights, or if it is a ghost, either way it should stop as soon as you leave.

Pozzled Sat 17-Aug-13 09:59:38

This thread is quite bizarre.

Ghosts and schizophrenia are both incredibly unlikely explanations. I would put it down to a strange house, the excitement of being on holiday, out of routine etc. She's probably seen something out of the corner of her eye which looked scary- something as simple as a coatand hat hung up looking like a person. And then got scared and in a state to 'see' other things.

I wouldn't even think about MH issues unless it continued to happen at home or in a range of different situations. Or unless the things she was 'seeing' were a lot more detailed.

All imaginative kids are capable of scaring themselves at some point. It's unfortunate if they have parents silly or gullible enough to believe in ghosts themselves, because that's going to make it more upsetting for the child.

lottieandmia Sat 17-Aug-13 12:22:15

Thanks to those of you who posted kind messages. We are going home now - I am sure she'll be fine at home. We do live in an old house anyway but the holiday place was odd - there were a lot of incidents that couldn't be explained that I won't go into that my mum and dad experienced too and they are skeptics. OTOH children are certainly very suggestible so who knows what it was but I don't care now that we've left. I did post in this topic because I thought that being in religion and spirituality it would not annoy people but then I do see people posting on threads on this board telling others not to be so stupid of course God doesn't exist so I'm not surprised in a way.

allthingspossible Sat 17-Aug-13 13:16:18

lottieandmia hope you have a safe journey home and DD feels more settled once she is back in her own environment.
headinhands no offence was intended, apologies if I offended you. My comment was directed at the tone and flavour of some of the posts being made and in no way reflect my own opinion.

Did you visit a place called Chambercombe Manor? (I know someone who works there and it is apparently haunted to the point where some people who visit feel quite ill while they are there.)

Maybe your dd overheard something that set off her imagination?

lottieandmia Sat 17-Aug-13 13:48:45

No we didn't go there Scarlet - but I saw it signposted. I am of course not going to mention it again. On Tuesday she's off to Wales with her dad so I asked him to keep an eye on her.

GoldenHares Sat 17-Aug-13 13:59:10

Can someone tell me what's a 'woo?'

DioneTheDiabolist Sat 17-Aug-13 14:35:58

Lottie, unfortunately there are a few Westboro Baptist style atheists in this section who cannot tolerate beliefs that differ from their own. Indeed you would probably have had more help and less grief had you posted this in Chat.sad. Have a safe journey home.smile

Perplexed, you have misread my posts. What I meant was they were not at home and you were recommending they go to the doctor.hmm

I hope you didn't I was being rude. I was just suggesting all avenues. I would be deeply shocked if there was anything wrong with your daughter I imagine a lot of things contributed to how she felt.
Perhaps she picked up on the nervous vibes of your parents, perhaps she had an over imagination or a number of other things.
I hope she is doing good now and has fun with her pets smile

Dione - comparing the posts of sceptics on here to Westboro Baptists is rather offensive. When atheists start picketing funerals then it might be an appropriate comment but either you are intending to offend or you are trivialising the actions of Westboro Baptists.

lottieandmia Sat 17-Aug-13 16:44:04

I do realise of course that some people are not spiritual in any way and that's fine. But don't assume everyone is the same - it's quite rude to call people gullible when you cannot prove your own belief anyway. We all think differently and insults are unnecessary.

In any case I wouldn't necessarily say it was a 'ghost'. But thanks for all the advice. My dd has been worried today that this thing might follow her home - hopefully in time she will forget about it.

ExcuseTypos Sat 17-Aug-13 17:00:21

Lottie, just tell Dd that things like that can't follow people.

I'd also tell her that she'll never see anything like that again and that she doesn't need to worry or think about it anymore.

carlywurly Sat 17-Aug-13 17:02:09

I really like boozy bear's suggestion of the light visualisation.
And am a bit surprised at some of the closed mindedness on here.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but there's an awful lot of sweeping statements being made and not a lot of room for open discussion without being ridiculed.

Lottie, I hope it was purely the location which triggered these episodes and your dd is ok now she's home. I really disagree with the posters who said you should be dismissive. I'd let her talk about it without passing judgement if she feels she wants to. I was a terrible worrier at that age, and internalised loads more than my parents realised.

Clobbered Sat 17-Aug-13 17:05:53

Not quite the same thing, but the son of a friend of mine was very frightened by some graffiti that he saw (a weird face of some sort) and became quite obsessed with it - couldn't sleep, kept getting upset, for some months afterwards. He was 10 or 11 at the time, and he eventually just got over it and forgot about it. I think kids do go through one of these odd phases sometimes. Hopefully the change of scene when you go home will spell the end of this..

valiumredhead Sat 17-Aug-13 17:12:20

Completely agree with SGB.

Reassure her and let her sleep with you, at no point let on that you think its real, because it's not.

If this happened to my child I would most certainly be taking then to the gp if it continued.

lottieandmia Sat 17-Aug-13 17:25:14

'I was a terrible worrier at that age, and internalised loads more than my parents realised.'

Me too, my parents were very dismissive of my feelings about things, often because they thought that would be best for me but I don't think it was. The reason I have an open mind about things like this is that I have experienced a few odd things that I couldn't possibly explain when I was much younger. This was from teens to early 20s. Nowadays I see nothing at all. Plus it still cannot be easily explained why my mum saw a child in the apartment who was definitely not any of my dds.

CoteDAzur Sat 17-Aug-13 17:49:28

"Plus it still cannot be easily explained why my mum saw a child in the apartment who was definitely not any of my dds"

Have you considered:

(1) Attention-seeking

And

(2) Schizophrenia or another MH disorder that causes hallucinations/delusions

wink

lottieandmia Sat 17-Aug-13 18:24:55

GoldenHares - 'woo' means (I think) someone who is easily persuaded in the belief of the paranormal.

headinhands Sat 17-Aug-13 18:35:21

you cannot prove your own belief anyway

Someone who rejects the claim of some spiritual realm have nothing to prove. It's not a belief it's a rejection of believer's claims in light of there being no evidence. Just sayin'.

headinhands Sat 17-Aug-13 18:36:43

Woo is an umbrella term for any belief which has no evidence.

lottieandmia Sat 17-Aug-13 18:46:24

headinhands - I was referring more generally to a belief that God Does Not Exist.

Hadn't joined in as there was so much information/scorn/advice flying about.

People say we can't prove ghosts do exist, but we can't prove they don't. Not absolutely.

Many years ago people would have thought it was insane to say you could point an object at a box and see people singing/dancing/talking/moving about, but wireless technology and televisions provide just that.

I don't know that I'm particularly woo but I'd say that people sometimes have experiences that can't be easily explained (and sometimes can't be explained).

If you're now home, OP then perhaps you can just 'put out there' that you're now in your home, that this is the place where love and nurture are key. That you don't want unwelcome visitors, that you don't want your DD/DC's frightened, that you wish all those who are unsettled to find peace.

lottieandmia Sat 17-Aug-13 18:48:29

The thing is, you can say that there is no evidence - but why is it that the first hand experiences of people are not considered as evidence and that everyone who experiences something odd or different must be in need of a section or have some other personality problem?

Until somebody comes up with proof that God does it exist then it's a fact, not a belief.

bootsycollins Sat 17-Aug-13 19:01:36

Are you home now lottie?. I'm probably in the minority here but using your situation at the holiday place as an example I would definitely accept it as a paranormal experience that your daughter has had. I hope that she's feeling much happier now your home, she must have been scared witless.

CuttedUpPear Sat 17-Aug-13 21:22:56

If you look back at various 'woo' threads on here there are plenty of adults discussing occasions when they have seen something they believe to be a ghost or apparition of some kind, often when they were younger or sometimes in adulthood.

And they are adults. Who still have the courage of their convictions now.

I don't see anyone on those threads suggesting that these people get themselves to a doctor because of their mental health problems, or telling them that they are attention seeking.
The sightings are discussed with interest.

So why the heck are people saying such awful things about the OP's DC?

LEMisdisappointed Sat 17-Aug-13 21:33:30

The way i see it, i only managed to read to page three is that this little girl is unsettled in a strange place, possibly tired due to doing lots of fun stuff and late nights and is imagining things. I wouldn't think it was any more than that and expect it to settle when you get home. If this were to continue, i would certainly be seeking medical advice.

I think it would very very wrong to give this any more significance than that.

CoteDAzur Sat 17-Aug-13 21:37:20

"Awful things" hmm

If my very own DD says she keeps seeing a transparent midget without a hat following her around, I would think she must be seeking attention. If after lots of quality time, her keeps saying the same thing, I would indeed take her to a specialist to be checked.

What would you do? Visualise stuff and tap the floor three times? (Heartfelt LOL at that, by the way grin)

toucancancan Sat 17-Aug-13 21:51:51

Lottie, could you come back and tell us if the owners say other guests have had strange experiences while staying there?

lottieandmia Sat 17-Aug-13 21:53:22

Yes we are home now. She seems happy and has been chatting with her friend on Skype so hopefully she'll forget about it now. I am certainly feeling better too about the whole thing.

lottieandmia Sat 17-Aug-13 22:00:38

Toucan, yes of course I will try to find out. But do you think that the owner would want to publicise such a thing even if people did have stories of their own? As it might put people off renting it. And I'm not sure how to work out who was there before us iyswim.

toucancancan Sat 17-Aug-13 22:35:08

Was anything mentioned in the visitors book written by previous guests? You may just be able to tell from the owners reaction whether other holiday makers have experienced the same, I guess it depends how open they are and what frame of mind they are in. Glad to hear dd is settled now you're home.

AgentZigzag Sat 17-Aug-13 22:56:56

I don't think it'd put people off lottie, more like the owners would find themselves fully booked for the next three years.

A great gimmick pull for the punters.

specialsubject Sun 18-Aug-13 11:46:56

the 'experiences' of people who see ghosts are not considered evidence because people imagine things, hallucinate or lie.

I would actually suggest that an adult who seriously believes that they are seeing ghosts DOES seek mental health help. Most of us will have hallucinations (aural or visual) at some time, those in full mental health know that it is dream or not real.

kids do not necessarily know how to tell the difference (monsters under the bed and all that) and need reassurance that it isn't real.

there are no such things as ghosts.

bootsycollins Sun 18-Aug-13 12:14:09

lottie it would be really interesting to find out about the history of the building, I agree with zigzag business would be booming for them if they advertised as a haunted weekend place.

lottieandmia Sun 18-Aug-13 12:49:44

People can lie about anything though tbh. It's up to you if you think people cannot trust their senses but you can't force your opinions on other people.

There is nothing at all in the guest book and I'm not sure how to go about finding out the history of the building but it may be worth looking into.

headinhands Sun 18-Aug-13 13:04:55

lottie. It's not just up to people to decide if they an trust their sense. Tests have established numerous times that our senses can and do trick us with relative ease.

Faverolles Sun 18-Aug-13 13:20:03

I haven't read the whole thread (I know, I know!) but I would ask the owners of the house to check for carbon monoxide.
I love a bit of woo as much as the next person, but I think on this occasion there is more likely to be a rational explanation.

Faverolles Sun 18-Aug-13 13:30:39

Ok, read the thread now. I can't believe I'm the only one to suggest CO.
I think CO hallucinations can explain away many hauntings.

toucancancan Sun 18-Aug-13 14:36:41

Faverolles, that's interesting. I've never heard carbon monoxide as an explanation for strange sightings before on any woo threads. What kind of effect could it have?

Hope your DD is OK now you are at home.

crossroadsdemon Sun 18-Aug-13 15:07:11

I live very near ilfracombe and being as right nosey so and so would love to know where you stayed..can you let me know?

headinhands Sun 18-Aug-13 15:17:19

This test demonstrates one way our yes can deceive us

www.positscience.com/brain-resources/brain-teasers/rainbow-illusion

lottieandmia Sun 18-Aug-13 15:23:25

I don't disagree that our eyes can deceive us sometimes, not at all.

crossroadsdemon - we stayed here

lottieandmia Sun 18-Aug-13 15:25:02

The carbon monoxide theory is more scary than any ghost! shock But the boiler is very new I think and had been recently serviced.

youarewinning Sun 18-Aug-13 15:28:34

lottie I agree as this happened away from home and it's a 'new' thing that MH issues are unlikely and more likely from posters who are very anti woo (as it's been described here).

I didn't believe in 'woo' as such, although didn't disbelieve until I saw a ghost/ apparition or whatever you call it.

9yo is very young and an impressionable age. Children see things and then I think they try and make sense of them and that can fuel their imagination - even subconsciously. This overwhelming about of information can be very over whelming for them.

I hope she's feeling better today.

Faverolles Sun 18-Aug-13 15:51:03

Recently serviced new boiler doesn't mean it won't be leaking CO.

I'd find it more comforting to be a result of CO tbh, as the cause can easily be fixed. (Assuming no-one is hurt by it of course(
Relocating a holiday home from the site of an ancient Indian burial ground might not be so straight forward grin

I would think for your dd a rational explanation like that would be far more reassuring than ghosts/mental health problems.

AgentZigzag Sun 18-Aug-13 16:46:46

There's a facebook page which has all the spooky goings on in Ilfracombe, and Most Haunted have been to Chambercombe Manor (saying it's (yet another) most haunted house in Britain) just up the road from where you stopped, and if that's not proof there's nowt going on then I don't know what is grin

valiumredhead Sun 18-Aug-13 17:20:27

Would you not be pretty ill in other ways if there was enough CM to make you hallucinate?

Faverolles Sun 18-Aug-13 17:23:15

I don't know Valium, but there was a poster on here a while ago who said her family started seeing things and it turned out to be co. once the boiler was fixed, nothing else was seen.
Iirc there were no other symptoms.

LEMisdisappointed Sun 18-Aug-13 18:15:05

There seems to be a lot of literature suggesting CO2 poisoning bring on hallucinations.

But then its more fun to believe the woo i guess.

crossroadsdemon Sun 18-Aug-13 18:38:25

not sure if this will be of any help but that area of ilfracombe and few other bits that are close by are known locally for being the places druggies live/use. don't know much about drugs (except they're not good for you) so would not have a clue if the stuff they smoke/ the fumes travel and that might affect you.

valiumredhead Sun 18-Aug-13 18:46:03

Ha ha ha, pretty sure dd wasn't high from second hand smokegrin

Hope all is well now.

lottieandmia Sun 18-Aug-13 20:40:15

crossroads - I did notice that there seemed to be a lot of people who looked like addicts in Ilfracombe, but that was a good distance away from us.

Last night she was still worried about going to bed but she is going away on Tuesday to Wales with her dad and sister which may help I think.

toucancancan Tue 20-Aug-13 20:59:24

Lottie how is dd now you've been home for a few nights?

lottieandmia Tue 20-Aug-13 21:36:23

She's better thanks toucan - I wrote the St Michael prayer out for her to say if she feels scared and that really seems to have helped. And I've bought her a book she wanted to read which will take her mind off it.

She told me she can still see the lights around her, but she said that she has been able to see these lights for years and didn't know not everyone sees them. She hasn't seen the hat thing again (thankfully!).

idiot55 Tue 20-Aug-13 21:44:04

Sorry haven't read through all 7 pages but my first thought is please please please, get her eyes checked , not to scare you but there are a few eye conditions which cause the things your daughter is seeing

lottieandmia Tue 20-Aug-13 21:51:15

She's had an eye test recently.

idiot55 Tue 20-Aug-13 22:44:45

That's good to hear, hope she is fine now

headinhands Wed 21-Aug-13 08:49:55

Did your dd tell the optician about the lights she sees? It is very much something they would want to know about.

Just a passing thought - if your daughter is of a generally sensitive disposition, Lottie, I wonder if the lights she sees all the time might be a form of synesthesia?

I remember hearing about this condition a couple of years ago. Plenty of information on the web, but in a nutshell, it is where several senses work simultaneously, rather than separately - so, as an example, seeing the colour blue may be accompanied by a sound, or taste.

mercibucket Wed 21-Aug-13 23:00:03

as cote says, i think anyway, if it continued i would speak to the gp, not so much about mental health but physical health that could be causing hallucinations eg something post viral. also an eye check. i am being serious, it is what i would do if it continued. perhaps she has a small vision problem for instance and thinks it is a ghost she sees?

for now, reassurance and comfort

mercibucket Wed 21-Aug-13 23:06:37

weird, sorry, i only got the first part of the thread before i posted, i see you are home now
please ask for the co test - imagine if it is co!

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