Love spells, do they work? Can someone advise please?

(51 Posts)
littlecrystal Tue 23-Apr-13 15:16:36

My marriage is failing. My H does not do talking so we cannot resolve our issues. I think he does not care enough for me so he does not feel like making an effort. I would like to return that love spark in him, so he wishes enough to make that effort, and then hopefully we can reconcile.
It sound a bit ancient but I believe that positive mind flow can change things, so perhaps it could work.
Any advice or recommendations? Please be serious, I don’t need a lecture…

If it did work, would you really be happy knowing your dh is only with you because you essentially forced him to be?

Pootles2010 Tue 23-Apr-13 15:25:12

Firstly I don't believe in anything woo, so I would say not. Secondly, even if they did, they would be highly morally questionable.

Have you considered counselling, even if just for yourself?

littlecrystal Tue 23-Apr-13 15:25:50

I think of the love spell as breaking the ice. If it can open up communication because the other person is interested enough to care and listen, then perhaps we can build a bond which would keep us together. If not, then not.

If you need an ice breaker, Relate would be a better bet.

littlecrystal Tue 23-Apr-13 16:01:34

There is no use of counseling if I am the only one to use it. I have put my 100% effort into saving the marriage and my H does not move a finger. For others, he does, but not for me. I want his feelings for me back… otherwise there is nothing to work on.

ZZZenagain Tue 23-Apr-13 16:04:58

I don't see how love spells can work really. Who or what is influencing the mind/feelings of your dh if the spell works?

I don't know maybe you can write an affirmation. Would that help you? - Something like "my marriage is flourishing, I feel cherished and loved and I cherish and love my dh". Place it somewhere you feel is positive and load it with positive energy every day. Don't see the harm in that.

What is the problem? Why doesn't he care (about you or about staying together)?

seeker Tue 23-Apr-13 16:06:42

Could you tell us a bit more about what's going on? Maybe someone can give you some advice....

littlecrystal Tue 23-Apr-13 16:12:42

It has many reasons why it does not work, however it looks to me that if both make effort to resolve it, we could.

I do believe in the power of positive mind, but I do have problem of being too pessimistic and I may cause a very negative energy flow. As soon as our problems start, I start thinking very negatively, i.e. thinking “oh it is again, it will probably end up in divorce etc.” I even go into relationship section in MN and energize myself reading about problems of others. This is a very bad thing to do. I struggle keeping my mind positive. I think love spell would help – I think it works as a massive flow of a positive thought. I may be wrong though. This is a new thing to me. I have written on the paper saying that my husband loves me, we are becoming closer and closer and he cares for me, but I struggle to visualize that.

meditrina Tue 23-Apr-13 16:15:05

I think you're right about positive thinking, and right that it needs to come from him too. And right tHT a relationship can be restored.

But there isn't an external agency, like a spell, that will come in and magically do this for you. It's good old communication that needs to be worked on.

littlecrystal Tue 23-Apr-13 16:16:24

Basically H is very distant and shows no interest in family life. He lives his own “single” life and I live my own family life with our kids. He lives under our roof but only cares for himself. There is no other woman (so far). I remember the moments when he was engaged and committed, we were happy.

AnAirOfHope Tue 23-Apr-13 16:17:52

Hi

A spell you can use and simple and none binding is;

Take an onion
Seven red pins
On a Sunday night stick the first pin in the onion and say “It is not this onion i prick but your heart i wish to pluck, (add name) think of me day and night untill you tell me you love me“ place onion on windowstill and repeat each night for a week. On the 8th day plant the onion with pins still in and say “(add name) i love you and you love me let our love and respect for eacj other grown“.

As you are married i think its ok to use a love spell as the vows have already been said and that in itself is a spell. Good luck.

Relate, date night, taking up a new hobby together and spend posative time together is also good ideas.

ZZZenagain Tue 23-Apr-13 16:19:49

well you can do that, if it helps you but maybe you should read a bit about relationships and see if anything applies. Hard to say if it can be fixed, we don't know what is wrong and how far you have grown apart.

If it isn't going to work out, you know deep down, best to face it and prepare for the future, huh?

Good luck. Maybe someone can recommend a book that helped them. Just to get started. You know I think the direct course helps most. Working on yourself means you have to figure out first where you are going wrong, working on someone else is difficult, you have to work on how you treat that person and how you react. That's I think where you have to get cracking on it.

Neighbour of mine believes in things like positive energy and so on and she "energises" particular parts of her house with minerals etc. Told me she uses a book called soemthing like that "change your stuff, change your life" (can't remember it exactly, different parts of your home correspond to different parts of your life is the basic idea). I had a great big rubbish bin where the relationship corner of my home was I recall. She had a dying plant in hers. I don't know if this kind of thing helps but if you believe in it, maybe it makes you more positive and that influences people around you?

Have you been a bit depressed?

AnAirOfHope Tue 23-Apr-13 16:21:08

Self love;

Meditate on a pink warm glow around you and say each morning “I have love before me, love behind me, to the left and right of me, i give and recieve love freely. I am loved“.

littlecrystal Tue 23-Apr-13 16:23:11

AnAirOfHope thank you I will do! I only need to wait for Sunday and get 7 red pins somewhere.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 23-Apr-13 16:26:45

Love..and thoughts of love have been proved to change the physical appearance of water.... here so I think that positive thoughts are VERY useful.

I am woo though.

MostlyLovingLurchers Tue 23-Apr-13 16:27:05

I used to be very into spellworking. At the time i would have said it worked. The truth is that it only worked because it gave me the confidence to go after what i wanted (to ask out that bloke i fancied, to perform well in a job interview etc). Even if magic did work then it would not be very ethical to manipulate someone else, even if your intentions are good.

I remember once writing a spell for someone who was going through a difficult time in his marriage - he looked at all the stuff he would have to do and asked if i could just do it for him. I pointed out that if he couldn't put in this little bit of effort he wasn't likely to put much effort into the relationship, and therein lay the problem. There is no quick fix.

If your H will not talk try writing him a letter and giving it to him to read and be honest that your marriage is failing and how low you feel. If he still won't communicate, then i think you need to accept that you cannot save your relationship on your own if he isn't prepared to put in any effort.

AnAirOfHope Tue 23-Apr-13 16:38:20

Hobbycraft might have them or wh smiths the kind of pin you use on a corkboard/message board.

Personally i would do something to shock him like a new hair do in bright red or get a babysitter and tickets to a concert as a surprise or a weekend in paris.

Could he be depressed? Lavander tea is a great mood lifter.

Can you flirt with him? Does he know you love him? Have you told him in detail what you want from him and listen and believe the answer.

If you have children, have a family board game night or themed meal night like pirate night where everyone dresses up and have fish and chips or mexican night and wear mexican hats. Show him family life is fun and he is apart of it.

But dont be used or adused. There needs to be fair rules and he needs to respect you.

MostlyLovingLurchers Tue 23-Apr-13 16:47:56

Sorry Neomaxi - i am not entirely without woo, but the sensitive water thing has been well and truly debunked.

I agree with the comments re working on yourself btw - that is the place to direct your energies.

littlecrystal Tue 23-Apr-13 16:50:12

I have tried so many times to involve him but he is just not interested and I am tired to be the load bearing all the time. I want to be loved and cares for, too, but I dont want to seek that love outside my marriage.

Ultimately you cannot control his mood/thoughts, and nor should you want to. You need to talk and explain that you're relationship can't work if he doesn't put in any effort, and be prepared to move on if nothing changes.

specialsubject Tue 23-Apr-13 18:02:03

...or you could have some self-respect, stop being an unpaid char, childminder and (possibly) provider of sexual services, and start making your own life.

if he doesn't love or like you any more, and doesn't have the balls to do something, it is up to you.

this is not a rehearsal. I think even the 'woo' people would agree with that.

NotTreadingGrapes Wed 24-Apr-13 06:48:24

I am wooest of woo, and I have had spells done on my behalf.

But, I think you need to decide what you really want first. Maybe post in relationships and truly get to the bottom of it all.

Love spells do work - never heard of the onion one! I suspect the effect is more on the person casting the spell rather than the person they are casting it on.

Love spells and money spells are both ethically questionable, but they are also very good practical demonstrations. The love spell demonstrates that if a spell can go wrong, it will, often with entirely unexpected and unwanted results. The money spell proves what a sense of humour the universe has.

Having said that, with my non-woo head on, ditto to what specialsubject said. You can't make someone truly love you, you can only make them fancy you a bit more, but the true, deep love that is needed to sustain a relationship, rather than a shallow sexual relationship can never be enforced or supported with a love spell.

littlecrystal Wed 24-Apr-13 13:18:26

Thank you to everyone. I had a good think overnight. I completely get what most of you are saying, but I still want to do the love spell with the onion. I already got the red pins smile Am I right to think that it depends on how I focus my energy on the spell. I want to be positive and bring the love out if it is there , and hope that if it is not there the spell will not work.

Is this a wrong interpretation of spell?

I read some other threads on here and I came to a conclusion that I am very negative person attracting negative thoughts and I should refocus myself on a positive thinking.

On the other hand, I find MN Relationship thread very negative – they will divorce any couple on there. I don’t believe in black and white, or a perfect other half. Life is full of compromises, and I am willing to make some with my H. Only if I feel loved and cared for…

NotTreadingGrapes Wed 24-Apr-13 13:48:05

Sometimes divorce can be a positive thing. smile I am currently on more than one thread in relationships telling posters to LTB.

I'm not sure I am woo enough to do a spell for myself tbh, (though I'd very much like to be!) The love spell I have had done was done by a 3rd party.

AnAirOfHope Thu 25-Apr-13 01:03:57

The spell pulls the love that is there out of the person so you can see it. So if there is love the person will tell you.

Does your dh tell you he loves you? If he does the spell might not work because he is telling the truth. This spell is used to ignite the spark of love and confess it. The planting part is to make the love grow strong in the relationship.

seeker Thu 25-Apr-13 07:24:30

I don’t believe in black and white, or a perfect other half. Life is full of compromises, and I am willing to make some with my H. Only if I feel loved and cared for…"

So long as it's not you doing all the compromising..........

bluebeardsbabe Thu 25-Apr-13 18:47:17

Love spells are notoriously difficult as they involve someone elses free will. However, I believe the most powerful spells are the ones you cast yourself as you have the intent. I believe in spells but would never cast one myself and I say that as someone who is in a wretched situation concerning a relationship at the moment and believe me...I have looked into spells but I agree with what someone else here said, if they don't want to be with you through free will, then do you really want them? That said, I think positive thinking and practising Law of Attraction can do wonders. So put out lots of positive intent and visualize how you would like your relationship to be, things you want to do together, things you want him to say to you etc. This can be very powerful. You can also look into Remote Seduction ;)

littlecrystal Thu 25-Apr-13 22:08:23

Thanks again everyone. My H agreed to go on short holidays with us in mid-June, so not everything's lost. I have "put" love, warmth an happiness for H into his water bottle. I wish happiness for him and love for myself. I try to imagine myself in a big pink love bubble.
I will come back to tell how the love spell with the onion and pins is working...
I don't want to go against free will, but if love is there, please come out.

marissab Fri 26-Apr-13 18:24:52

Havn't read the rest of the thread but as an experienced pagan i would urge you to think again. I was dating a guy who'd had a previous bad relationship so was very reluctant. So being frustrated i did a complex love spell over a few days. The guy became so overwhelmed with feelings, i literally scared him off in the other direction. If you do love spells, you are trying to make someone feel something that they weren't already feeling so against their wishes iyswim. I would instead, do a house blessing and ask for peace and harmony and a happy home.

marissab Fri 26-Apr-13 18:28:03

You can always make a charm to make yourself more attractive to the opposite sex wink

bluebeardsbabe Fri 26-Apr-13 18:42:58

I could do with one of those Marissa...please explain how smile

marissab Sat 27-Apr-13 16:50:25

I'll pm you. It's a bit urghh!

bluebeardsbabe Sun 28-Apr-13 06:11:47

Pleasesmile

TheUnicornsGoHawaiian Sun 28-Apr-13 06:27:47

Oooh me too marisa smile

LeoandBoosmum Mon 29-Apr-13 01:30:52

I don't want to tread on toes - and no offence to AnAirOfHope - but I think you can stick red pins in onions until the cows come home...that won't change a thing imho. I can understand your desperation but think about it logically! How the hell is sticking pins in an onion (or any other bizarre ritual) going to salvage a marriage?
I do think being positive is important but the spell thing...nah...
If I were you I would attend Relate alone (you can alone if your partner won't accompany you). It might give you some insight into your own thoughts, mindset, approach to the issue.
I am really sorry but if your husband has ceased to love you and wants out then his mind is made up and there is not much you can do to change that. If he loves you and is open to working on the relationship then there may be a chance... I really don't want to hurt you but it sounds like he has checked out of the relationship already.
You don't want to lose your marriage, I understand, but if your husband admits he no longer loves you and doesn't want to make the effort (I'd ask outright and hope he has the backbone to be honest) to rebuild the marriage, then you are wasting your own time...and time is precious!
I hope things work out for the best for you.

littlecrystal Mon 29-Apr-13 13:00:05

Some uptade here. I still carry the pins in my handbag - have not had the courage to do the love spell.. However I have been meditating that I am in a pink love bubble surrounded by love. I also "put" my wishes for happiness and love to H's drinking water.
I also have been more positive about that we will overcome our issues rather than thinking of a potential divorce.
I am also working on not being shouty at home - he hates that.

The outcome: we have reconciled (well at least from non-talking for few weeks), got a bit closer and more intimate, he cleaned our house without me asking and took out DC shopping with him, again without me asking.

I feel a bit like in a bubble - as long as I do the "right" things he will respond positively. As soon we meet a problem, we are back to the square. I don't know if the positivity can be sustained but at least I have a hope...

Twosugarsplease Mon 29-Apr-13 21:44:47

Place a rose quartz in the south west corner of your home.
I did this after reading an article soon after My ex left, apparently it attracts pure love into your home.
I believe it did smile

Twosugarsplease Mon 29-Apr-13 21:48:20

Just to add it cost me £1.75 on a market stall, you can get them anywhere that sells those candles that make you sneeze type of places grin

as long as I do the "right" things he will respond positively. As soon we meet a problem, we are back to the square. I don't know if the positivity can be sustained but at least I have a hope...

That's your problem there. He is king of the castle isn't he? No onions with pins in are going to change his core belief that he has the right to do whatever he likes, live a single life with a wife in the wings, throw you crumbs like cleaning the house and as long as you behave like a good employee wife he won't threaten to divorce you..

Sorry, but counselling is what you need. Individual not couple. Your self esteem is way low to accept this.

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Lushlush Tue 02-Sep-14 14:05:08

I did a love spell when I was quite a bit younger and I found a lovely man. I could easily have stayed with him my whole life but I unfortunately got bored with him as he just wasn't 'enough' for me. We did not have enough in common. However the relationship was certainly the easiest I have had out of 4 live in relationships and I only have fond memories by and large.

I did a love spell a few years since being a single parent and it has not worked at all however! I have also placed rose quartz around my bedroom to no avail. I look attractive and meet men quite a fair bit in real life but I just haven't found one suitable one all these years.....

Must be the fact I am a lot older that there is only dross left - at least that is the only conclusion I can come to. Plus my standards are exceedingly high these days!

vdbfamily Sun 21-Sep-14 08:37:53

There is a good book about different 'Love Languages' that talks about how different people express love in different ways and if we think that our way of expressing it is the only way it can lead to alot of confusion. My husband is not a verbal communicator and sometimes this drives me mad.I could count on my fingers and toes how many times he has actually said 'I love you' but he expresses it in other ways.He has just brought a lovely freshly ground cup of coffee up to me in bed whilst he gives the kids breakfast.To me that is his morning 'I love you'. Relationships can also go through difficult/stale patches. I read another good book that suggested that at these times,rather than get into a negative spiral,if you continue to behave in a loving,caring way towards your partner,they will respond to that subconsciously and it will bring out the best in them.Maybe this is what is happening with your positivity.So keep it up and see if he does too. All the best. It is worth fighting for.

pursuinghappiness Mon 06-Oct-14 22:07:46

I don't know about love spells but I am reading a book called relationship Rewind that suggests ways to get relationships back on track. The key is reigniting in the other person blissful moments that you shared so that they feel connected to you.

Basically a lot of it focusses on doing things to boost your own self esteen, reinstating a friendship and then doing/saying things to make the other person feel valued.

DioneTheDiabolist Mon 06-Oct-14 22:13:16

Is there a spell that can make men and DCs do their domestic cleaning duties better?

I'd love one of those.<<sigh>>

Beastofburden Mon 06-Oct-14 22:13:51

Well it sounds as if positive behaviour and not shouting at home have been very good things.

LegoCaltrops Mon 06-Oct-14 22:19:00

ZOMBIE THREAD!

nishadhasan Tue 21-Oct-14 04:57:50

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