"By this love you have for one another, everyone will know that you are my disciples": Christian Prayer Thread for April

(810 Posts)
Tuo Sat 13-Apr-13 23:35:18

I thought it was about time we started a new thread, seeing as the previous one now has over 600 posts, making it difficult for some people to load it and navigate around it. I used the quote from John 13. 15 that I posted on the previous thread on Maundy Thursday, because I think it sums up what this thread - and this group of people - is all about.

We pray particularly at this time for RoomForALittleOne: that her baby hang on where s/he is for as long as possible and continue to grow in size and strength, and that Room stay well and as pain- and stress-free as possible. Prayers, too, for the medical team looking after them both at this worrying time.

We pray also for:
amberlight ? for her work raising awareness of ASDs, and for her friends who have cancer;
BabyBeatrice and her family ? for continued healing and with thanks for recent good news;
BlackEyedSusan ? for strength to cope with all the many things on her plate, for health for her mum, and for happier times at school for her DD and DS;
BlueTinkerbell ? for work possibilities and for her vocation;
charlottecollinsislost ? for a peaceful holiday, despite the circumstances, and for as pain- and recrimination-free a separation as possible for the sake of all concerned;
Dontsteponthemomeraths ? for her as she dips her toe back in the 'dating pond'; for her ?LM? as he tries to establish contact with his children; for her brother to regain full use of his thumb, following an accident;
DutchOma and Bob ? for health for Bob, and for Oma to feel supported as she cares for him day-to-day; also for Oma's planned trip to Holland;
GingerCurl ? for the successful and (relatively) stress-free completion of her thesis;
HavingALittleFaithBaby ? for as easy a time as is possible during these last days and weeks of her pregnancy;
jann2013 ? for strength for her following the break-up of her marriage, and for her dd who has badly broken her arm;
Kaykat ? for her and her DS to know peace and happiness as they emerge from an abusive relationship, and for the legal issues to be sorted out quickly so that they can get back into their own home;
MadHairDay - for strength as she lives with chronic illness and for the Spring to bring her better health;
MaryBS - for peace and happiness following a difficult situation at Scouts with her DS;
PositiveAttitude ? for her mission overseas and for her family both over there and back here, especially her DD1;
...and for all who post on this thread, for those who lurk, for occasional visitors, and for those known to us who are in need of prayer, whether mentioned here or not.

Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayers.

Tuo Sat 13-Apr-13 23:36:33

Hmm... all my dashes turned into question-marks! What's all that about? Ah well...

BlackeyedSusan Sat 13-Apr-13 23:47:06

Thank you.

still praying room.

I've found when I prepared the new thread in word and copied it across, it changed all apostrophes to question marks in the past. Mn is a funny thing sometimes.

Dutchoma Sun 14-Apr-13 09:18:26

Thanks TUO. No news from Roomforalittleone this morning.

Morning All!

Thanks for the prayers grin Baby is still safely inside despite having more contractions. Apparently I've been left with an 'irritable uterus'. I can't go home yet but hopefully I'll be moving to the ward soon. I'm really tired as I keep being woken up by random contractions but nothing dramatic is happening so I'm happy. I'll be pleased just to not be constantly looking at a resuscitaire that is set up ready for the neonatologists to be crash called.

Dutchoma Sun 14-Apr-13 09:53:15

Thank you Littleone for updating. So pleased baby is still inside. Prayers continuing.

Tuo Sun 14-Apr-13 12:52:17

... And the verse is John 13. 35, not 15. Honestly! You wouldn't believe that in RL I am someone who prides herself on her accuracy and attention to detail. blush

Thanks for the update, Room. I'm so pleased that your baby is staying put for now. Praying for that to continue for as long as possible and for some rest for you today/tonight.

cloutiedumpling Sun 14-Apr-13 13:06:09

Praying that the irritable uterus stops being grumpy.

My DSs are the only two boys in our Sunday School. I knew it would happen at some point, but DS1 was really grumpy about going to Sunday School this morning. He's not unhappy about going to church but is unhappy that there are no other boys. Please pray that there is a solution.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sun 14-Apr-13 13:15:31

Morning all! I have had my baby! Long story, short labour!!!! Too exhausted for full details but born after short labour at 7.22 this morning, weighing 5lb 4oz, named her Abigail Faith. We're on transitional care because she's small but so far, so good, and no ill effects from the codiene I took. I've fed her and she's snoozing, sent DH home for a nap too! smile exhausted, sore!!! But very, very happy.

Tuo Sun 14-Apr-13 13:42:13

Congratulations, Faith, and welcome to the world, Abigail Faith (what a great - and appropriate - name!). My DD1 was 4lb 12oz at birth and needed to be tube fed for a while but otherwise had no ill effects and is now about to be 13 (eek!) and strong as an ox. It's great that Abigail is already feeding by herself. Now get some rest! Prayers of thanks for her safe arrival, and for a swift recovery for you.

BlackeyedSusan Sun 14-Apr-13 13:57:31

ooo have a little faith has had a little Faith! congratulations!

Congratulations and well done Faith! Praying for a smooth ride in transitional care. Great choice of name!

cloutiedumpling Sun 14-Apr-13 14:21:23

Congratulations! What a lovely name.

Dutchoma Sun 14-Apr-13 14:30:48

Many, many congratulations. So pleased for you.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sun 14-Apr-13 19:52:38

Oh yes I probably need to name change! smile Thanks all. Getting the hang of breast feeding and she is just gorgeous. Met her Grampy, Aunty, Uncle and cousin (3.5!) this afternoon. I feel like superwoman grin

madhairday Sun 14-Apr-13 20:03:41

Oh congratulations, Faith and what a beautiful name! smile Thrilled for you smile

Thanks TUO for a great roundup again, you are a star! Praying particularly for Room at this time.

Poorly again...would love prayers.

muddledsheep Sun 14-Apr-13 20:06:40

Hello cloutiedumpling bit of a lurker normally but your post re Sunday school reminded me that my boys were the only two in our Sunday school a few years back. The church prayed for more children and oh my did those prayers get answered! We now have a crèche with 5 toddlers, infant S/S with 5 children, 'big' Sunday school with 8 and teens with 6! A baby explosion in church helped as did holiday club to encourage families to join us. Please don't give up hope! Oh and mine still attend and are happy teens now!

MaryBS Mon 15-Apr-13 06:55:42

Congratulations Faith!

An extremely agitated DS this morning about returning to School and the change of routine. Please pray sad

Baby still inside. Uterus still extremely irritable so I'm exhausted (today is day 5 of on-off contractions). Please pray for the right decision to be made about going home or not today. It may sound like a strange request but please pray that if this baby is going to come in the next day or two, it comes today. This baby needs to be born in the hospital to survive. I can't stand the idea of going in to proper labour in a couple of days time at home. Right now, everything baby could need is down a corridor.

Dutchoma Mon 15-Apr-13 10:00:32

Prayers that all will go according to God's will and that you will have peace about it.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 15-Apr-13 11:40:44

I have just pissed off emailed the head teacher and deputy asking for the stuff they should have prrovided for ds ages ago and reporting an incident in the toilets. I am hoping for a reasonable response.

So I'm staying in hospital for another night because DH is too anxious about me going home today. The midwife has been great and is asking if I can have a scan of my cervix to see what effect all of these contractions have really had on it. Please pray that this is agreed to and happens early tomorrow. It would make a big difference to us if we could have some more confident answers.

Praying for everyone!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Mon 15-Apr-13 20:15:11

Praying Room for you, your baby and all your family.

Tuo Mon 15-Apr-13 20:45:47

Praying Room. Glad they are keeping you in where you feel safe... you're in the best place for now.

Praying, too, for all those caught up in the explosions in Boston. sad

How is mini-Faith doing? Is she still feeding OK and transitioning well?

madhairday Tue 16-Apr-13 13:12:42

Praying, Room.

Yes, praying for those caught up in the Boston events sad sad

I'm feeling a little better so still holding out hope to be ok to go tomorrow night.

Kaykat Tue 16-Apr-13 16:56:20

Congratulations Faith and welcome little Abigail Faith.

Still praying for Room and baby.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 16-Apr-13 17:04:40

We have had a rather challenging time purely because she is a tiny, hungry baby. Last night we reached a point where she was hungry and so tired she was hysterical but couldn't sleep (so nor could I!). There's a reason they use sleep deprivation as torture! Anyway they have bumped up her top up feeds and with a lot of input from the staff she has now settled down (we had constant crying for about 12 hours and I couldn't put her down!). They took her from me a couple of times so I could sleep then DH just kept her settled in the cot. I got 2 1/2 hours sleep then a shower! smile so we are getting there. The nursery nurse said its purely because she's so small and it will get easier!

Just a little update on LM. Tomorrow morning he meets with ExW lawyers and her husband. They've had a week to review his proposal and tomorrow is D day. Pray an agreement is reached. Just to re-cap my comment on previous thread:

Just had a chat with 'lovely man' he's abroad in ExWs Country with a final attempt before High Court to find an agreement. His lawyer has sent it to hers for her to look at and either agree or go to Court.

This has been dragging on for a year and it seems his final offer to her may not be enough and it's going to cost him a fortune in legal fees, not the contact arrangement he longed for with his 4 DCs and it'll take him a long time to clear his legal fees. Or afford to live really. It all seems so unjust after this long drawn out process that he may not even get justice here, just an enormous amount of debt. The Court system there isn't fair, it's nothing like the UK

Please please please can I ask for a miracle here that we all pray that God can make a way where there is no way here and that his and her lawyers can reach an agreement that's fair for everyone and the kids.

It reminds me of Matthew 5:25 that we should settle out of Court. Pray that is the case here. He never wanted it to get to High Court in the first place, just for a fair agreement to be reached and justice.

Praying your lovely baby has a more settled night tonight faith.

Also my son is still struggling with returning to School but Monday was a much better day than expected. So thank you if you prayed after my post x

BlackeyedSusan Tue 16-Apr-13 23:49:53

I am still up. ds is now quiet, he as still awake until a few minutes ago as he fell sleep on the sofa when we got home. yesterday/usually this dooes not affect his sleep... not so tonight. dd has woken with nightmares, and screamed and crried for mummy, even when I was holding her. I have yet to hang the washing.

school were not concerned about the seriousness of the incident.

Tuo Wed 17-Apr-13 00:48:13

Praying tonight for...

... Room and her baby

... Faith and little Faithlet - for rest for both tonight, and for Faithlet to keep on growing and feeding well (but just not continuously all night long!)

... MHD - for her to be well enough to enjoy her dd's birthday treat (and, just maybe, a little treat for MHD herself, as well wink)

... Momey's LM - for the situation to be resolved so he can see his children again

... BES - for rest, for a more helpful response from school, and for a good night's sleep and sweet dreams for both her DC

... Blue as she sees her DDO

Kay - how are things for you?

And Momey - how's your DB's thumb these days?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 17-Apr-13 07:23:52

Morning all! Thanks for the prayers: we had a good night and seem to have established a 2-3 hourly feeding pattern with a good latch for bf and taking top ups well. Most importantly she is sleeping between feeds so I have too!

Prayers please for another MNetter from my ante-natal thread. She had her DS Samuel Friday after a difficult labour. He is now in Bristol Children's hospital with multiple tumours and she said it 'doesn't look good' sad I can't imagine getting this far only for your child to be do gravely ill...

Glad you're feeling a bit better Momey.

Bes praying for your DCs and the issues at hand.

amberlight Wed 17-Apr-13 11:48:40


madhairday Wed 17-Apr-13 13:59:07

Thanks Tuo - I am indeed going! LG have helped by sorting out wheelchair hire and access etc. I'm so pleased! I won't be able to hear tomorrow, but never mind grin

Praying for everyone, particularly Room and the littlefaithbaby, and for LM and BES' dc.

BlackeyedSusan Wed 17-Apr-13 14:56:51

I have had a good sleep this afternoon, which is just as well as they both had nightmares in the night. dd was very distressed and shouting for mummy even when I was there. she calmed down rapidly after prayer though... thank God!

mhd. been praying. glad there is some improvement and support to attend. (what? did i miss that?)

I have been pissing off emailing the head teacher again, asking for documents etc, using the wording from the sen code of practice, without directly referencing the paragraph numbers.

Dutchoma Wed 17-Apr-13 14:59:24

Sounds to me you need to speak to the head of the governors or the education authority if the head and deputy head are not taking your concerns seriously. Glad you had a sleep.

Please will you all pray for DD2? She is really struggling with mummy being in hospital. She was sad yesterday when she came to visit me and realised that I might be in hospital for her birthday. She was even more upset on the phone tonight saying 'mummy, I want you to come home... Please come home' sad I can't tell you how that makes me feel. She really needs me and I need to be there for her.

Kaykat Wed 17-Apr-13 20:37:00

Room, praying for you and baby and DD2. How old is she? My mum was in hospital for a long time when I was little and looking back I don't think it was as traumatic for me as she probably thought it was. I'm sure I begged her to come home too but I don't remember being too desperately upset. And for birthdays we took a cake into the hospital and had a little celebration. The main thing right now is to make sure that baby is ok.

As for me I am still frustrated by the slow speed of legal things. I get a flurry of activity then nothing for ages. It takes weeks just to get one letter organised.

I had some wonderful support this week from several people who I haven't seen for a long time and seeing another old friend tomorrow. I am still struggling daily with what is probably grief. Missing my old life, remembering good times instead of the terrible things of this past year. I have to constantly give myself a good talking to and Im scared that at these vulnerable times (pretty much every day at some point) I will do something silly like contact him. I also feel constantly guilty. Someone told me they think he has a woman staying overnight in my house and that made me feel very sad, but not at all surprised.

DS got his first choice of School today. Now I just need the assessment to come faster. It's end of May.

LM is in a different time zone. I'll probably hear tomorrow how it went.

Prayers for everything on here being said x

Tuo Thu 18-Apr-13 00:12:09

Feeling very tired, so just popping by quickly, and would appreciate prayers for energy to get me through to the weekend, when I can catch up a bit.

Praying tonight for Room and her baby, and also for her DD; for quicker legal answers and ongoing strength for Kay; for BES to get some rest and some answers from school; for a good outcome for Momey's LM, and thanks for her DS's school place; and huge thanks for MHD being well enough to take her DD out for her birthday treat. Prayers too for baby Samuel and his family. And also for niminypiminy, who is seeing the bishop tomorrow and has asked for prayers on t'other thread...

BlackeyedSusan Thu 18-Apr-13 12:23:52

praying room.

madhairday Thu 18-Apr-13 13:06:40

Kaykat it's great to hear from you, and so pleased you are getting some support from those around you. No wonder you feel so vulnerable and in grief sad Continuing to pray. You are being so strong, but more than that, you have God's strength. Keep fighting...x

Room, praying for dd. I more than understand how this feels. the dc are now 12 and 9 and still get upset when I'm in hospital and I end up feeling guilty and horrible. But they are fine, really, as Kay says. I was in hospital for ds' birthday once (think it was his fourth) so dh brought in a cake and presents and we celebrated together. It was so hard, I remember how wretched I felt about it, and you must feel even more so with worry about the new LO. Praying for peace for you, for peace and comfort for your dd, for your whole family.

Thanks for prayers - I made it! ( it was a One Direction gig, BES) - it was great! Have talked about it on the other thread, so won't repeat myself here, but thanks so much for praying - I do feel so much better, but v v worn out today so resting all day.

LM update:

It was an interesting meeting. His ExW and her new husband didn't turn up at all. They were meant to. So he got 3 hrs uninterrupted to talk to their lawyer with his present. It was an excellent meeting but ultimately she still needs to agree to all negotiating done. Thanks for your prayers x

Just wanted to say that I am praying for you all as prayer requests are made. I may only update about me but I am praying through the posts.

BlackeyedSusan Fri 19-Apr-13 07:34:31

smile shock smile oops that middle one was a yawn!

HadALittleFaithBaby Fri 19-Apr-13 08:10:33

DD has exclusively breast fed overnight - not a top up cup in sight! - and slept in between feeds so I have to. Utterly, utterly wonderful. I do believe we've turned a corner and I'm hoping we can go home! smile

Praying as I read. Room still praying for that baby to stay put.

Yay! Glad to hear that you are finding things better, Faith. I can't stand the whole cup-feed top-up thing as it is so exhausting.

I had a rough day followed by a bout of regular contractions yesterday evening/night. The midwife and doctor were most concerned. I was most fed-up. Very glad that baby stayed put but I could do without the painful interlude. At least DH is coming round to the idea of me being sterilised...

BlackeyedSusan Fri 19-Apr-13 21:01:17

ouch. <whine> walked into town and bought my christmas present- finally! sewing machine is quite heavy to walk home with. also 3 visits to the park this week has made me quite sore. [wimp emotion]

Dutchoma Sat 20-Apr-13 09:18:07

I'm not surprised. What are you going to make with your sewing machine BES?

Kaykat Sat 20-Apr-13 09:57:39

Yesterday when I was at cracking point with both myself and DS getting terrible homesickness The Lord sent the right people at the right time to help. Today feeling much stronger and happier. Legal things are now moving forwards nicely. Thank you for your prayers, I know they make a difference.

Dutchoma Sat 20-Apr-13 10:31:20

Praise the Lord Kaykat Hopefully things will move very quickly for you now.

BlackeyedSusan Sat 20-Apr-13 14:31:11

i have a pirate costume to finish. and dressing up clothes.

amberlight Sun 21-Apr-13 07:27:09

Still praying through...

MaryBS Sun 21-Apr-13 07:45:11

Praying through too...

HadALittleFaithBaby Sun 21-Apr-13 09:23:07

Praying Kay. It's great that the support was there when you needed it. Keep going lovely smile

Praying the sewing goes smoothly bes.

DO when do you go away?

We are settling in at home smile came home Friday. Friday night was awful - her resp rate slowed and we had to have her checked in A&E. scary time but appears to be a one off. Last night was much, much better! She is getting into an eating/cuddling/sleeping pattern every few hours but DH worked as a team and we managed well smile Midwife saw her yesterday and is happy with her progress - she is well and maintained her weight from Thursday to Saturday purely on breast milk. She's currently snoozing on DH's chest smile

Dutchoma Sun 21-Apr-13 09:49:14

Oh what a lovely picture you paint Faith. Such blessings. Praying that all will be maintained and Faithbaby keeps growing as she should.
Bob is going into respite care and I go on Friday afternoon. Back on Thursday morning and going away again on Friday for the weekend. Then Bob is back on 7th May.

Hi everyone. Lovely to find you all again!! We have just had a week in Malaysia for a work retreat, which was a huge blessing!! Lovely swimming pool and loads of food! wink

As of 1st May DH and I are taking over the leadership here - a bit scary, but exciting and challenging, too. Lots of changes ahead and some tough decisions to be made. I feel my patience is going to be tested to the limit. I do keep trying to tell God that I have had enough patience testing, but He doesn't seem to agree on that one! hmm grin

I will have a good read through and a prayer as I do so. Lovely to be back here again, sorry I went awol. I sort of missed the new thread posting and then was away, but am back now!

Love to you all. grin grin grin

Dutchoma Sun 21-Apr-13 10:33:35

Waves to PA

BlackeyedSusan Sun 21-Apr-13 11:47:43

how is it going room?

I was going to churrch... til dd ws sick. carrpet scrubbed, first lot of washing on. me-->> envy bit delicate

Today has been pretty good, BES. I'm half expecting to be sent home tomorrow from the conversation I had with one midwife. It seems that some consultants would have me on strict bed rest whilst others would send me home ASAP. My consultant is the 'send home ASAP' type...

BES was the vomiting a one-off?

Tuo Mon 22-Apr-13 01:21:32

Praying for everyone, and thanking you for your prayers... I made it through to the weekend, and have had more rest than usual and feel generally OK again now. I really enjoyed church this morning. I was serving and seem to be getting the hang of it now. The collision with that choirgirl was not my fault - honest wink

Praying for PA as she prepares to take on a leadership role.

Praying for Room - that baby stays put, and that the medical team make the best decisions about her care.

Praying for Faith - enjoy every minute... it sounds as if FaithBaby is doing brilliantly (though the A&E visit must have been so scary for you - praying that was a one-off).

Praying for a legal breakthrough for Kaykat.

Praying for BES's DD to be well.

Praying for Oma's trip and for Bob to be happy in respite care while she's away.

And for everyone on this thread.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 22-Apr-13 07:50:05

dd is a lot better. no school though. not 24 hours since being sick.

ds seems boyant and cool, so I am hoping he missed it.

Ooooo, I'm going home! I have certain conditions put in place by the consultant though so please will you pray that nursery have some extra capacity for DD2 and DS?

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 22-Apr-13 09:40:27

Glad it's seems more positive this morning bes.

Congratulations Room. I hope you can take it easy when you get home. Still praying for LittleOne to stay put!

We had a good night! Faithlet is starting to find a routine with feeding and I'm getting clued in to her signals. I did fatigue about 7 when is done a 5.30 and 6.15 feed so DH took her into the living room to let me sleep (he slept most of the night and missed that she'd fed a couple of times!). We are working well as a team smile

I'm really glad that you have good support, Faith. Small babies are a bit harder work for a while but they soon settle down and plump up! I remember what it was like with DD1 who was 6lb 3oz. She used to feed for an hour then sleep for an hour when we first got home and while she slept I had to express as she would only feed via a nipple shield. It was unbelievably hard but it did get better.

Tuo Mon 22-Apr-13 10:21:41

Happy prayers of thanks for FaithBaby who seems to be doing brilliantly. Also for wonderful teamwork in the Faith household. smile

Room - nurseries are allowed to go over their staff:child ratios temporarily in emergency situations. I looked into this when I was having DD2, as we had no family nearby who could have DD1 and friends who were prepared to help with her all worked. When I went into labour (in the middle of the night, inevitably!) a friend came round and then took DD1 to the nursery in the morning till my parents could get there. I don't know how long they're allowed to exceed their quotas for, but it is a possibility. Praying for a good solution.

Dutchoma Mon 22-Apr-13 10:32:35

Prayers for all.
The respite care for Bob is now all organised. We have cancelled the ambulance transport thus avoding any uncertainty as to when they will come. There is a friend who can take us in his pantechnicon car so we will be able to know when we are going.
Now we have the new nursing home (did I say that the first one told us they could not take Bob with 8 days notice and that we had to find somewhere else?) Bob feels a lot more positive about it all. Just the packing to do now.

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 22-Apr-13 14:26:26

That sounds positive DO! Praying all the Arrangements go smoothly from here onwards.

Faithlet Has been reviewed by midwife this morning and has started gaining weight again. This means she is only half an oz off her birth weight again now I'm depressed about his clearly feeding her. She is having a bit of a feeding frenzy right now. But I'm very very happy. smile

Fly by.

Can you pray about my meeting in 30 mins? That it's productive and for peace?

Sorry cryptic but need prayer x

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 22-Apr-13 15:38:20

Praying Mome!

Praying Mome

I've been home for four hours and I'm already finding it hard to not get on with straightening out the house and generally sorting the children out. It really isn't that hard to keep on top of tidiness and behaviour!

Dutchoma Mon 22-Apr-13 16:39:38

Don't overdo it or you'll be back in hospital quicker than you can say premature labour.

madhairday Mon 22-Apr-13 17:16:59

Just popping in. I'm feeling fairly unwell, and we have a number of decisions to make, can't say a lot, but would really, really value prayer for wisdom smile

Praying for you all.

Dutchoma Mon 22-Apr-13 17:51:11

Oh MHD I'm very happy to be asked to pray for you and your lovely family.

Great meeting! grin grin grin

Thank you for your prayers, went loads better than expected! Oh and thank you God!

Praying MHD x

Tuo Mon 22-Apr-13 18:22:30

Praying MHD.

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 22-Apr-13 18:25:15

Oh yay Mome!

Praying MHD.

Room I know that temptation to keep the house perfect when pregnant but you must, must rest! smile

I'm being good. I'm just a bit frustrated!

MHD, praying for you lots. Do you have to make a decision ASAP while you feel ill or can it wait?

BlackeyedSusan Tue 23-Apr-13 07:26:26

dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragondragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon

BlackeyedSusan Tue 23-Apr-13 08:24:17

actually I may need to channel my inner dragon to get the ht to comply with the sencode of practice. dragon

MaryBS Tue 23-Apr-13 11:27:35

It must be so frustrating for you BES dragon

madhairday Tue 23-Apr-13 12:26:13

BES, praying that the HT will see some sense!

Thanks for prayers, very much appreciated. Yes, they are decisions we need to be thinking about now...I'm a little better today though, despite useless gp appt. However looks like dh is going down with something which is bad timing sad

Praying for you all. sorry not on much - life is a bit crazy atm.

BlackeyedSusan Tue 23-Apr-13 12:54:49

resent a request to the ht ccing the autism support worker. it might get results and piss him off i am extremely pissed off. dragon

BlackeyedSusan Tue 23-Apr-13 14:43:24

I have also found the energy to do some much needed cleaning and tidying. and I have emailed dd's tester asking for raw scores for tests. I am praying that they have not been discarded.

Kaykat Tue 23-Apr-13 19:22:11

Waiting for another legal deadline. My H now has some choices, fight a legal battle against me, start communicating with my solicitor or disappear. Ignoring is not really an option any more. If he chooses to fight or ignore I wil be facing a court hearing within a few weeks and quite scared about that. Please pray that God has it in hand and will make the best outcome happen. I am also struggling with feelings of missing him, so stupid to miss someone who cheated and treated me like dirt. So tired of my inner battle every day to follow head not heart. I really really really don't want to feel like this any more.

Good to hear all about baby Faith.

Glad you are home Room, praying baby stays put.

MHD am praying for your health and big decisions.

And BES that you can finally get what you need from that school and ht.

Hope you have a lovely time away Oma and that you come back refreshed and renewed.

Praying Kay x

BlackeyedSusan Tue 23-Apr-13 22:07:34

dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon I am going to need the esilience of a dragon tomorrow. got a reply from the ht, finally. we are no nearer getting an iep, 8 months after starting school, 3 months post diagnosis. they do not do what they promise to do. it is very frustrating.

dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon dragon

BlackeyedSusan Wed 24-Apr-13 07:32:01

meeting at half past ten. oh joy.

i need to find out about ieps and the support he is getting, also there are a few times where he has been hurt.

MaryBS Wed 24-Apr-13 07:40:08

Prayers BES. Kaykat, try not to think about the road ahead, but rather look at how far you've come! Put the future in the hands of our Loving Lord.

Dutchoma Wed 24-Apr-13 08:19:09

Don't breathe too much smoke and fire BES, just swallow him whole grin Prayers for wisdom and calm.
My dd was told yesterday that she should not be her ds' friend but his parent and that her parenting left much to be desired. She was not very pleased.

BlackeyedSusan Wed 24-Apr-13 09:31:42

who told her?

Dutchoma Wed 24-Apr-13 10:14:46

dgrandson's teacher.

Hello all, we had a lovely time in Belgium visiting friends and family and celebrating my godson's baptism. Prayers appreciated though as he has been admitted to hospital because of being severely dehydrated because of a viral infection and vomiting sad

I've also got a very important job interview next week Friday prayers very much needed!

Praying for everyone on the thread.

mhd you know where I am when you need any help!

BlackeyedSusan Wed 24-Apr-13 13:50:52

I am pissed off with school and cass too. still processing and ranting and not being able to calm down. angry

Badvoc Wed 24-Apr-13 18:25:35

BES - so sorry. It's a nightmare dealing with schools and sn/sen. I really hope that you get what you need from the meeting.
Haven't been on here for ages!
Sorry! Can't keep up with you all smile
Am away this weekend with my parents. 4 days with my mother...what was I thinking!! smile
After much prayer I decided to stand again as a PCC member and secretary. I hope I can make a difference in the parish. And not get too frustrated with the vicar! sad
I have a meeting tomorrow with my sons teacher wrt taking him off the sen register...which is great, but as usual I am doubting myself...
I really want to try and do something for families in the parish but not sure what!
I wish I knew what God wanted me to do sad

Dutchoma Wed 24-Apr-13 20:02:38

Badvoc it's hard, isn't it when you have no clue what God wants you to do. Sometimes you just need to keep on doing what you a re doing, because that is what God has set you to do."The daily round, the common task" Or sometimes daily grind.
Well done on standing for the PCC.

Sorry to hear about your frustration with the school BES.

Praying for you and your job interview Blue And for dgodson.

Well we took Bob into respite care this morning. The room is lovely. Light and airy with a chair right in front of the window, his own mattress and television and people being really kind and considerate to him. It was a shock when the first nursing home turned us down a week before he was due, but they did us a favour as last time he was very unhappy there and I'm not convinced he would have been happier this time.
I can't believe how tired I am though.

HadALittleFaithBaby Wed 24-Apr-13 20:24:36

Hello all.

Praying as I'm reading:

bes I'm sorry it's so frustrating for you! Praying for a breakthrough with the school.

Nice to see you Badvoc <waves>. I pray the weekend goes well. Praying for wisdom about the future.

DO I wanted to 'like' your post - how lovely that the room Bob's got is light and airy smile I bet you are tired - big build up to getting Bob to this respite and gearing up to go away. Praying that all the arrangements and packing go smoothly now and you have a wonderful time.

Praying into the legal stuff kay...

We have had a challenging couple of days. Faithlet appears to be going through a growth spurt (midwife weighing her again tomorrow!) and feeding has been erratic with 2-3 hour feeds on/off at night and refusing to settle in the Moses basket in between. I've got advice from the national bf service (and MN!) who reassure me that its normal but it can be quite a challenge. I'm better prepared to approach it now after getting advice so that's good. DH has been worried but seems calmer since we've been reassured so prayer that he remains calm and can support my desire to BF would be great smile

amberlight Wed 24-Apr-13 20:32:12

Prayers continuing...

Badvoc Wed 24-Apr-13 20:39:59

I will be praying for you all tonight.
Thank you for the lovely (and wise) words as usual smile
Faith...I will be praying for a more settled night for you and mini faith...I well remember those unsettled nights even though my youngest is now nearly 5! Challenge is an understatement! Well done for persevering. I hope your dh feels calmer about it all now.
Sounds like bob is in a nice place Oma. Isn't it odd how we trudge on for what seems like eons and then the moment we have some time/respite it really hits and all you want to do is sleep? Do be good to yourself and SELFISH whilst you can x

BlackeyedSusan Thu 25-Apr-13 07:39:13

oh dear. it was a long night and a short sleep. ds was having nightmres and I was still bit upset by the meeting yesterday. i do have the beginning of the fomulation an email. oh and I got plenty of time to pray for faith, room, mhd amber and jan before dropping off. smile (sorry to the remainder, sleep eventully took oversometime after 2.30.

BlackeyedSusan Thu 25-Apr-13 14:35:15

I managed to sleep for an extra hour before getting all steamed up again. I hve started my email in worrd.based on the sencode of practice. it will not be pretty. it would be easier to write


MaryBS Thu 25-Apr-13 14:51:52

Prayers for the right words, BES

BES do you think your DS would be better in a special school? If the ht continues not to listen to you, I'm wondering if you may have to go that route.

But I'm no expert. DS assessment is end of May but I think he's Aspergers but I won't know for sure until then I guess.

BlackeyedSusan Thu 25-Apr-13 19:45:54

he is not bad enough for a special school.

Ok. I don't understand the system but I didn't think they had to be 'bad enough' to benefit from a School that specialised in that field.

Have you been on the special needs boards on here for advice? I'm wondering what they'd suggest. As they may have a better idea.

Hope you can get some more rest tonight x

BlackeyedSusan Thu 25-Apr-13 21:28:00

someone actually offered to lend me a rather large copy of the sen code of practice. to drop on his head

Ha! grin

Dutchoma Fri 26-Apr-13 06:59:29

Of course Mary and Amber are the specialists here on the board. Mary's ds is a few years ahead of yours.
I also wonder if maybe you should use a different way of communicating with the head rather than by e.mail. A printed letter with copies to the head of governors and the education department might have more effect.

BlackeyedSusan Fri 26-Apr-13 07:40:11

i am considering ringing people in the education department about couple of issues. advice bout ssessing dd and advice about the tism support person.

BlackeyedSusan Fri 26-Apr-13 07:40:26


HadALittleFaithBaby Fri 26-Apr-13 08:22:47

Bes I think that's a good idea - get advice and support from them. Praying.

Faithlet had a good night. Settled at 11, woke at 12.30, 2.45, 4 and 6.45 for feeds. Praise God! smile

Dutchoma Fri 26-Apr-13 09:01:22

Darling Faithlet.

MaryBS Fri 26-Apr-13 11:40:43

We have a parent partnership service who will liaise between parents and school if necessary. My opinion is that the problem seems to lie with the school rather than you and your son, BES. The head at our school is very good at listening, and will respond, rather than fob us off. A BIG plus!

Dutchoma Fri 26-Apr-13 12:05:51

That would indeed be a big plus for dd and her children too, but doesn't seem to be in place. Neither teacher nor head teacher listen to anything dd says.

MaryBS Fri 26-Apr-13 12:17:18
BlackeyedSusan Fri 26-Apr-13 13:30:23

excellent mary. I seem to remember we were warned by the other professionl we saw that the service that comes into school is not neutral. they aren't.

MaryBS Fri 26-Apr-13 13:43:06

Is that a different service you are talking about BES? I know the PPS were a great help with a friend whose school were dreadful, they said the reason he was having problems was down to her parenting(!)

BlackeyedSusan Fri 26-Apr-13 14:02:57

the utism support person is not neutrl. I have not contactd the one you hve mentioned yet. I will be doing though.

the school are absolutely dreadful, despite claiming that they are good at autism. I m not the only parent to mention this.

We're having attempt number two at picking up our new (secondhand) car tomorrow. It would be really good if we can actually get it without me going into labour. Please will you pray that it all goes smoothly as I don't think I can cope with it not working out! I know it's trivial really but everything is a struggle at the moment and I could do without this!

BlackeyedSusan Fri 26-Apr-13 19:51:21

not trivial to you though room. prayed.

HadALittleFaithBaby Fri 26-Apr-13 20:29:45

All the stuff like that seem huge when you're bogged down in circumstances Room. Praying it all goes smoothly.

We could use prayer. Things are going well with Faithlet. Definitely getting to grips with BF and DH has stopped pushing me to give her a bottle - we've agreed to try it at 3 weeks now smile However my MIL is being difficult...there's always been issues between DH and her and for a long time they didn't speak. We agreed to try and have a relationship with her when I got pregnant. So far, so good. She came at the weekend (when we'd just got back from hospital and were frazzled) so we only invited her for coffee both days...she was fine until she discovered when her parents visited they came for tea. That was Wednesday when we'd found our feet more! Apparently she is now very upset and thinks I hate her...prayers for dealing with this gratefully received!

Praying for you, Faith. Try to ignore the family nonsense as much as you can. You have more than enough to deal with and it is her problem, not yours.

HadALittleFaithBaby Sat 27-Apr-13 12:06:09

I don't have direct contact with her (DH won't let her have my number or let me add her on Facebook). I try not to entertain it too much. It's just stress we don't need!

BlackeyedSusan Sat 27-Apr-13 18:33:43

i am shattered. I have been hoovering up under dd's bed. there was a mess of toys and sand. confused I have got to fit an extra cot toddler bed in there.

Feeling very stressed today. I can't decide whether to cry or be cross. I need to produce lots of evidence to hmrc. They're double checking the childcare element of my tax credits. I do find the calculations complicated and I'm now worried if I made a mistake I'll be penalised. Does that make sense? The letter is so formal and when I tried to talk to tax credits directly today, they said they can't help me. I need to ring the compliance dept on Monday. So until then I'm going to panic sad

The day started off great until that letter arrived. I just can't seem to shift this fear. I need prayer as I'm not functioning. It's clearly irrational but I can't seem to calm down.

BlackeyedSusan Sat 27-Apr-13 21:40:33

the letters hmrc induce panic in me too. you are not alone. shock

prayers for calmness.

I am considering making aa complaint about someone. I need wisdom.

ds got to bed.... finally. some people are just not as efficient as I am.

dd is going to bed... sort of half way across the room. there is one small paatch of carpet to finish hoovering, a wardrobe to move and a cot to get into the room and there is not guarantee it will all fit. in theory just, but rooms are notoious for not having straight walls.

Prayers as I read through.

Mome I can totally understand your fear, but take a deep breath, you cant do anything about it until Monday, so worry is no good to anything. Prayers for peace for you. One "trick" I was taught when I get myself into a tizz about something like that is, whenever a negative thought jumps into your head about it, just repeat "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" over and over again until you feel calm again.
From My experience when a mistake had been made with the credits - my mistake, but definitely a mistake, they were VERY understanding and helpful and it was sorted very quickly and painlessly. I am sure they will help you to get it fixed on Monday.

I pray that DO is having a good relaxing time away.

Just had a lovely skype session with DD1. Someone has very kindly donated a laptop for our use at work. It is such a blessing and we can now skype a lot easier. DD3's wedding is now only 8 weeks away <eeeek> having a panic about the dress!! I bought some material and designed a dress and I am having it made, but confidence in it all has taken a nosedive and I will only have a week in the UK to buy another one if this one doesn't work out!!! <<double eeeeek!!>

Off to church now. Love and prayers to you all.

Mome, we've had to deal with Compliance for the last 3 years in a row. I need to get sorted for church now but I'll come back and give you some tips later. Where is the team based who is dealing with you? Is it the Belfast Compliance team?

I'd appreciate prayers to get through the day. We managed to change the car yesterday without any problems (or giving birth grin). Today I am going with the family to DH's new placement church for the first time. I find it exhausting being 'public property' at the best of times. Today we are going for lunch at someone's house after the service. I am not feeling great and would love to spend the day in bed instead blush

I've also had a strange dream (probably codeine induced) that has reminded me that my nan no longer has much contact with any Christians now that we have moved away and my parents are working away most of the time. I don't know how to share Jesus with her any more and she is so special to me sad

Thanks Room. I think I'll ring them as soon as they open at 8 tomorrow, as I'll feel better once I've spoken to them. I think I was selected at random for a check but then the woman at the tax credits office said something must have flagged me up. That hasn't helped me to feel calm, so naturally I think I must have got the calculations wrong to average my childcare cost out for the year. They're so confusing, especially with 2 childminders to split between and they sometimes swap days, if one is ill.

Sorry it's not Belfast.

BlackeyedSusan Sun 28-Apr-13 19:36:53

<lies on floor whimpering>

been shifting wardrobes and beds. there are 2 cot beds children's beds in dd's room now.

BlackeyedSusan Sun 28-Apr-13 20:24:24

and I am not sure that I have them in the right places.

prayers mhd.

BES I've probably missed something, but why are you rearranging bedroom furniture?

Mome so they'll tell you everything you need to send in. IME there is also a reason as to why you have a compliance check (all 3 times that we were checked THEY made the mistake, not us). Make a note of every phone call you make to them - date and time, person and dept - so that you can reference it in letters. Copy everything you send to them. You will need evidence that each childminder is registered and evidence of payment. If you have declared a change mid-year then make it very clear that you declared changes within the required timeframe. Or, if you have variable costs, make it clear that you worked out an expected average over the year. They will also want to know which child you have paid for and when. If you have funded hours, make this very obvious to them (even if they are with another provider). Basically, give them an idiots guide to your childcare so that they don't need to assume anything or ask for any more evidence. BTW, if you have paid cash or direct debit then they accept bank statements as evidence (no idea how a cash withdrawal can be considered evidence but it's in their list hmm). When you send anything, make sure you get proof of postage and send it so that they have to sign for it as they are masters at not logging post. Always send a covering note detailing every item you have sent.

Does that help at all? You could probably work it out. Sadly my best piece of advice is don't trust them to have any common sense or even to make the right decision. If they don't make the right decision, you can dispute the decision/appeal.

Oh crikey Room you've made me more worried, not less. The letter seemed fairly standard sad

I'm sorry. It is a standard letter but because my mum used to work in a similar department, she knows that something has to flag up as suspicious to cause a compliance check. Don't worry though. Their system cannot cope with anything complicated like two providers with variability between them. They will just be checking that what you have declared is accurate. Remember, if they have asked for 3 months evidence but that particular 3 months doesn't reflect the whole year, you need to tell them that and send evidence for the whole year.

They haven't said 3 months or any period. So I'm going to give them everything since I started work 6 months ago. I do find the averaging out so confusing, especially with 2 childminders. They swap days, or if one is sick, the other has him. I may have forgotten to take into account I have 20 days leave on my childcare needed for holidays. I just don't know as it all confuses me. I just hope they're nice, as if the figures are off slightly it's not deliberate at all sad

It is a funny amount of time, as it's just 2 hrs a day. From 12-2pm. When he finishes nursery until I can collect him. I work mornings 9.30 until 1.30 and then drive back. Then in hols it's both kids for 5 hrs. As I need the lee way each side to drive to and from work sad

Yeah I can't send evidence for a whole year as such, as I've only been back at work for 6 months. So it's not a true picture of a years worth of childcare but when he goes full time in Sept, I won't have to pay anything term time anymore, which will be a relief. Not sure I could cope with a letter like this 2 years in a row.

BlackeyedSusan Sun 28-Apr-13 23:34:04

It will be the first night I have slept in my rroom without a small person for company in nerly 7 years and i am feeliing bit odd. I want to scoop up the small boy and take him back.

Tuo Mon 29-Apr-13 01:08:08

Hello all. Sorry not to have been around much - trying to focus on not getting more behind with work. But it doesn't mean I'm not thinking of you.

Mome - praying for a helpful and reassuring conversation with the tax people tomorrow. I am no expert, but it sounds as if your arrangements are just 'non-standard' and so have been flagged up in some way. Meanwhile, praying for peace of mind for you.

Room - praying that today went well, that your DH feels positive and the people seem nice. Good to see you back on here this evening and so be reassured that you haven't gone into labour yet! Hang on in there LittleOne!

PA - praying for your DD3 as she prepares for her wedding, and for you as you prepare at your end... I'm sure you're going to look stunning! And praising God for better contact with DD1, that's going to make all of you feel happier. Hooray!

BES - praying for a peaceful night for you tonight and that you don't have too many aches and pains tomorrow.

Faith - praying for you and Faithlet and for your relationship with your MIL. The best thing you can do is ignore, ignore, and then ignore some more...!

Also praying for Oma to have a fab holiday and for Bob to be happy with his new respite care.

Has anyone heard from MHD? She has gone very quiet and I am praying that her health is OK. Hope she's off having fun somewhere! smile

Praying for a happy week for us all.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 29-Apr-13 07:39:10

mhd praying

and mome for peace and clear calm thinking.

and do for good holiday smile

Will you pray for my DMIL? She's just heard that she has to go through a disciplinary hearing at work. It seems a bit unfair as she made a judgement based on misleading and incomplete evidence that she trusted was correct. Other people had all the information to make the right decision but did nothing (probably presuming that DMIL had already done something). It's a bit of a mess and I think my DMIL is being made a scapegoat although I understand that I probably don't know the whole picture. I don't think I should explain more explicitly the details. Prayers that the right outcome is reached in a fair, just and timely manner would be good. And that if DMIL needs to learn from this, that she can be humble enough to do so. Also for DH who has just spent the last hour trying to get her the appropriate help organised when he really needs to be in college doing work.

Dutchoma Mon 29-Apr-13 12:15:40

Prayers for your DMIL, Room.
And prayers of thanks from me as I am having a lovely holiday and no distress signals from Bob.

madhairday Mon 29-Apr-13 12:29:32

Thankyou for thinking of me Tuo and for everyone's prayers. I have been quiet, I've been fighting infection and things in RL have been very stressful indeed, sorry I can't say much but I've rarely felt so torn apart as I have done in the last week by decisions and various other stuff. Prayers that God would make things clear would be much appreciated.

How are you doing now, Room? Praying for DMIL.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 29-Apr-13 12:37:35

prayers already said mhd.... yesterday grin

how did it go mome? brew

hope mil has a fair outcome.

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 29-Apr-13 12:45:13

Glad it's good so far DO! Delighted to hear Bob seems to be settling ok.

Praying for your MIL Room, it does seem unfair,

How did you sleep Bes?

Praying for you Mhd. God know the specifics enough to intervene!

Please pray for us - I am still finding it tough with the feeding/interrupted sleep. DH seems quite resistant to me wanting to EBF. We have agreed to wait til Sunday (3 weeks old) to introduce a bottle but he keeps suggesting formula where I don't see a need so peace in the situation would be great. Also we've had no poos from Faithlet for 5 days so prayers that things get moving in that department would be appreciated! smile

faith have you tried bedsharing? Lotta slept in with me till 4 months.
Advice is to wait until 6 weeks at least before starting with bottles to not interfere with supply. It is very tough those first few weeks. Hang in there! DH can bond with baby in other ways!

Dutchoma Mon 29-Apr-13 15:46:02

Don't be afraid to bed share. Throw the pillow out and maybe dh and take your pyama top off so Faithlet has uninterrupted access to the bar.Show dh some of the advice on MN, he might be persuaded. DD's DMIL drove her up the potty wall by suggesting (frequently) that she give dgrandson cool boiled water. Breastfeeding has changed ever such a lot since they were feeding their babies.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 29-Apr-13 21:35:55

yawn. it is quiet and lonely. I hardly saw the children today. sad ah well tomorrow has more time after school.

Prayers continuing from here as I read through.

Tuo Tue 30-Apr-13 00:18:15

Yay, Oma, so pleased you're having a good time, and that Bob is settled. I know that you're more likely to relax and enjoy yourself if you're not worried about Bob, so thank you God for that.

Praying for Momey - that the phone call was reassuring.

Room - praying for your MIL... for peace of mind for her, and for her to feel supported in the situation with a fair outcome. Is she in a Union? Hopefully she'll be able to get the support and advice she needs.

Faith - praying for enough rest and good feeding from Faithlet. TMI warning... if of a squeamish disposition, look away now! DD2 didn't poo more than once a week for a while when she was probably between about the age Faithlet is now and about 6 weeks or so. It felt like longer because the suspense was a nightmare... and when she did 'go off' ... oh boy!! One time there was so much poo up inside her vest that I got a scissors and cut it off her because there was no way I could have pulled it up over her head. Grim! But remember, 'this too shall pass'... in the scheme of things they are tiny for such a short time.

BES praying you had a good night's sleep and that your problems with the school will be resolved soon.

MHD it's good to see you but I'm sorry things are so tough. Praying, of course.

And PA - good to see you too. Praying for you and your family.

Dutchoma Tue 30-Apr-13 07:30:01

Thank you TUO and everyone else who prayed for us.

Remembering you all in my prayers.

The atmosphere here in Holland is quite amazing: everything focused on the abdication of Queen Beatrix and the inauguration of King Willem-Alexander. So pleased to be here on the day.

HadALittleFaithBaby Tue 30-Apr-13 08:17:44

How exciting DO!

Thanks for the advice re Faithlet. As it stands we're not set up to co-sleep - I'm under a duvet for example - but I found she settled by feeding lying down then falling asleep next to me last night (easy transfer after a while and physically comfy for me!). I made the mistake of waking her to feed later (having had 'She must feed every 3 hours' drummed into me in the hospital) only to find she was too sleepy to feed effectively but then wouldn't sleep again! Tonight if she's sleeping I'm going to let her sleep. As DH says she has no problem telling us she's hungry in the day!

Tuo it took til 11.30 to settle her last night so about 4 hours non-stop feeding but I did think This too shall pass!

bes hope you get some nice time with the children this afternoon.

BlackeyedSusan Tue 30-Apr-13 11:18:54

dd and ds used to sleep on top of the duvet to keep them cool while i slept under. I found having a combination of clothing so that boobs could be exposed without much other flesh freezing helped.

thanks faith. I hope so too. ds was reluctant to go in this morning, and the person I was supposed to hand over to at the door was not there.

he was not right yesterday after school. I could feel it. he had a bit of doozy in the library.

BlackeyedSusan Tue 30-Apr-13 14:52:12

(yawn) I may have accidently slept for 2 hours this afternoon. oops.

Someone talk some sense into me please. I can't go on like this. I am exhausted from having tightenings intermittently all night, every night. I have horrific nausea and have had to increase the medication that I'm on for hyperemesis. Because of that I have hideous constipation that no amount of bran, linseed or dried apricots can help. I am so fed up I feel like I want to have this baby now. I'm 29+5. Forgive me for saying this but I'm being a selfish b*tch and need to get a grip. I do not want a 29 weeker. Please Lord make the pain stop sad

madhairday Tue 30-Apr-13 17:20:17

sad Room. You're not a selfish bitch at all, you're just having a really, really tough time, and anyone would say this (I did when I nearly went into prem labour with dd at 28wks with pneumonia) - it's so hard to see beyond the pain, and constipation can be beyond hideous when lactulose etc does sod all except cause more wind. It's horrible sad I don't know what hyperemesis is like, but can only imagine it is utterly miserable, from having had normal ms and it being fairly hideous.

Of course you're exhausted. I haven't got any words to make it better or advice to make the pain stop. I wish I did. I am praying. I will keep praying. May the Lord bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you.

un mnetty hugs galore thanks brew

Tuo Tue 30-Apr-13 17:33:56

Oh Room, you poor love! I can't type much cos I'm on phone, but you are not a selfish bitch by any stretch of the imagination. Have you been back to doctor/hospital? Seems like you need someone to take you through all the options calmly and objectively and come up with a care plan that works for you. I will be praying that you get what you need to make the next weeks bearable for you and safe for LittleOne. Sending love...

I'm back at the hospital on Thursday. There isn't anything they can do though. The only way to stop it is to induce labour and they won't do that.

Tuo Tue 30-Apr-13 18:11:25


[Don't care if it's Mumsnetty or not.]

Dutchoma Tue 30-Apr-13 20:27:20

Oh my love, nobody would think you are in any way selfish. Praying that somebody can think of anything to help you. Would an enema work? Not that that is a picnic, but still...

Kaykat Tue 30-Apr-13 21:35:13

Praying for you Room. Go away contractions, constipation and sickness. That you get a decent nights sleep and the best doctor on Thursday.

Kaykat Tue 30-Apr-13 21:36:49

Faith I found BF very difficult to start with then ended up doing it for nine months, hang in there it will get easier.

Thank-you for prayers. DO I'm not allowed anything that would be vaguely effective in case it stimulates contractions hmm I'm afraid I did find out a glycerin suppository though which took less than five minutes to achieve far more than I had in two hours (sorry if TMI!).

Faith I keep meaning to say that you are going through a very similar time to my initial BFing days with DD1. I hung in there and refused to give up. We managed 16 months BFing. She refused every bottle under the sun anyway. She just wanted boob and a lot of it! It was unbelievably tough at the time but it was only for a while and gradually improved. You have already done some weeks that you never have to do again and you are that much closer to everything getting easier. Go with what your gut is telling you.

Desperately tired and haven't read through today yet. I did speak to someone in the Compliance Team yesterday, she seemed very non plussed about it all tbh. I sent all evidence today by recorded delivery. As my childcare is averaged out over the year and the most costly part is Summer hols. I suspect I'll have to pay some back <sigh> They're only interested in the previous financial year. Who knows?

BlackeyedSusan Tue 30-Apr-13 22:32:15

ds mixed fed from day 3 my boobs hurt so much. the midwife waas convinced that he would therefore give up breastfeeding. i suppose she was right... but I had to wait 2 and a half years to find out. grin

BlackeyedSusan Tue 30-Apr-13 23:22:11

oh and mum is not very well. her blood pressure has gone up to dangerously high again.

I am going to see herr t the weekend, if I m not hormonal. no af no visit. too stressful. I will put it off to the following weekend. mind you, i am feeling quite miserable, so it may be due soon. difficult to tell as it is always erratic

HadALittleFaithBaby Wed 01-May-13 08:19:05

Oh Room you're just hoping for the best out of a very difficult situation! I can't imagine how uncomfortable you are right now. I'm praying for a change in circumstances. The only thing that really resolved my constipation (and with IBS, pregnancy and a regular codiene habit, it was bad!) was taking a daily probiotic like Yakult. I was surprised how effective they are.

Praying all this paperwork gets sorted and they understand your circumstances Mome.

Sorry to hear about your Mum bes. Really praying that God's breaks into your circumstances.

The BF is getting easier. I think the current growth spurt is easing off and I'm learning her cues to feed sooner so she's less distressed. We had a much better night last night too which really helps. I'm getting chunks of sleep which is great! Yes Room at 17 days I feel like I've conquered the toughest part. She's now latching consistently and without a nipple shield and feeds fairly regularly. Big challenge starts tomorrow when DH goes back to work!

Dutchoma Wed 01-May-13 11:18:21

Make sure that DH sets up everything for you with regard to the shopping so that you don't have to go out if you don't want to. Then do exacctly what you want to while he is away, sleep when Faithlet sleeps and rest as much as you can. Make sure you have a drink by your bed/chair when you start feeding.

BlackeyedSusan Wed 01-May-13 14:59:46

a child rode a bike into my car door this morning. she was going really fast on the pavement and went over with a bump. I am off back to school now and am a bit worried about it. it took me all day to calm down and I am shaking again. hoping i do not get acused of stuff I did not do.

Prayers very much appreciated here, I've got a very important job interview on Friday.
prayers that God tells me this is the right place to be, prayers that MIL will get along with DD3 during the day. prayers for safe travel there and back. Prayers for DD1 and DH to manage without me smile

I really hope I get this job, if not, I have 2 more job interviews lined up! smile

amberlight Wed 01-May-13 19:43:58

Prayers continuing...

MaryBS Wed 01-May-13 22:20:43


Prayers from here.

BES - Prayers for you re the bike incident. Hope all is ok now.

MHD prayers and thanks

Blue - prayers for the right job for you.

DO - have a good time. When do you return? Safe journeying. What an exciting week to be there in your homeland. smile

Please pray for a few situations back in the UK within my family. Another spiritual attack seems to be in full swing! angry DD1, DD2 and D Dad and D mum.
And we have just taken over the leadership here, so wisdom and guidance is much needed. Many thanks,

Praying for you, PA. The devil is clearly threatened by you. God is far more powerful. It will be OK. smile

How school pick-up yesterday and drop-off this morning, BES?

Blue praying for you to end up with the right job and for peace of mind. For self-confidence in the interview(s) and the knowledge that you have been you!

DO I hope that you're still having a fab time!

I'm off to the hospital soon. I ended up asking DH to come with me (missing lectures) rather than a friend taking me. I feel a bit guilty but after I had to be ushered out from communion last night because I was having strong, regular contractions I had a bit of a wobble and needed him with me.

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 02-May-13 09:59:50

I completely agree room. Hang in there PA. Praying for strength against these attacks.

Room it's ok to ask for your DH to be with you - it's not selfish! Hope the appointment is positive.

Blue it's great to hear you have alternatives. Praying for the interview(s) and that God steers you in the right direction.

We are getting on ok. Both freshened up and dressed so a good start to the day! Even got washing on the line! smile

Dutchoma Thu 02-May-13 13:01:19

I'm home now for about 24 hours to do the washing then I'm off to see Nickel (she's more on the religious chat list than on here) to sing with their choir. So still having a fabulous time.
Praying for all. Jesus is Lord.

BlackeyedSusan Thu 02-May-13 13:10:52

good day for washing do!

drop off/pick-ups and driving in general is a bit more nerve wracking than before

ds is building up to an eruption... the magma chamber is filling, (stress) there has been an increase in earth tremours (foot stamping) and emissions of hot gases (shouting/screeching and noises) are at extremely high levels.

BlackeyedSusan Thu 02-May-13 14:59:39

ok, here we go. see how the boy is today.

How was he, BES?

Dutchoma Thu 02-May-13 21:43:15

And more to the point Room how are you after your hospital appointment?

BlackeyedSusan Thu 02-May-13 22:35:26

stressed. he has been screaming. the teacher has worked out though that it is when she shouts at the other children. also they have changed the musical instruments. they are noisy, phonics is noisy. he has been in trouble for shouting in phonics in the past. probably because he is in pain, it hurts. feel really cross.

MaryBS Fri 03-May-13 09:04:10

DS gets really upset and panicky when people start shouting angrily. Hope and pray your DS has a better day today

BlackeyedSusan Fri 03-May-13 11:40:36


DO my consultant appointment was OK. The baby seems happy and is growing well which can be a concern, apparently. I have codeine tablets for pain at night so that I can sleep properly. I have to rest/move even less than I have been as that is causing more tightenings. I also have to have another glucose tolerance test because I persistently have glucose in my urine. We talked about warning signs or a cut off point that means I need to go back into hospital. It really is a wait and see time. I have to see the consultant again in four weeks with a midwife appointment, a glucose tolerance test and a whooping cough vaccine in between times as long as all is well. Otherwise I have the phone number for emergencies and the same advice to call an ambulance in certain circumstances.

"DS gets really upset and panicky when people start shouting angrily."

Yep mine too.

HadALittleFaithBaby Fri 03-May-13 20:43:07

I think that's true of lots of people to a certain extent, but when you have a sensitive soul it can be quite traumatic for them....praying things improve bes.

Room I'm glad the baby is happy and growing well. I just hope and pray that you can be well until baby is ready to come out. I hope the codiene helps you settle.

DO I hope you've had weather similar to us to get all your washing done and Bob is settling in back at home.

DS Nursery key worker only said to his CM a few weeks ago that she'd finally figured him out (he's been there since last Sept) and that getting angry with him made things worse. <slaps forehead> Do you think? Of course it'll make it all worse. He gets so stressed and agitated, you need to try and calm him down, not go in all guns blazing.

I despair sometimes at Schools. My son isn't diagnosed yet, his assessment isn't until the end of May but I have told them many times how to deal with him and I do feel like they do not take it on board at all.

So my situation is very different but I really feel for you BES.

cloutiedumpling Fri 03-May-13 22:36:27

Lurking and praying.

mikkii Fri 03-May-13 23:13:15

Room, I suffered with placenta praevia with dd1 and 2, I had numerous admissions from 24 weeks. I asked for lactulose all the time a any straining (sorry....) caused bleeding. I know it isn't the same, but similar. If you are constipated, try putting feet up on a stool, apparently this is a better position!i remember how awful it was being in an ante natal ward with people in rly labour whilst trying to sleep through the comings and goings. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

I'm also praying for the other posters, although I can't help you in other ways.

mikkii Fri 03-May-13 23:14:13

Sorry, should read it before posting. Early labour.

BlackeyedSusan Fri 03-May-13 23:30:52

oh it gets worse. please pray for truth to be known and children to be protected.

i have a formal letter of complint to write sad not saying here as it is identifiable. will pm if not away.

i need a lot of prayers.

Tuo Sat 04-May-13 00:05:39

Hello all. Sorry not to have been around for a few days... manically busy as usual.

Praying for everyone...

Hello mikkii - it's good to see you. Are you a returning old-timer, or a newbie? All good wishes, either way.

BES - I am so sorry that things are so tough and that your DS is so unhappy. It's good that the teacher has worked out what it is that's upsetting him, but sad that it has taken so long. Praying that you find some time for yourself this weekend, between fighting for your kids and looking after your mum.

Momey - Praying for your DS, too, and yours, Mary, and for all those of our DC who struggle in whatever way. My lovely quirky DD1 has been called some really horrible names at school this week (though the teacher dealt with it well, thank God), so prayers for her too.

Faith - Prayers for you and Faithlet as you get used to not having DH around all the time. Sounds as if you're both doing fabulously.

Cloutie - Good to see you too... Hope all is well with you.

PA - I'm so sorry to hear of all your difficulties. Praying for your DD1 and DD2, and for your parents. And praying for peace of mind for you: I know it's hard to be so far away.

Room - Thanking God that LittleOne is still growing well, and continuing to pray for you. With all that you've got going on you must feel so stressed as well as ill and uncomfortable. Praying for peace for you too.

Oma - Thanking God for a good break in Holland and now with Nickel. Continuing to pray for Bob's health and happiness as well as for your own.

Blue - Praying that your job interview went well... and that, whatever the outcome, you feel God's hand in it.

Also praying for absent friends... for MHD's health, for Kay as she awaits a legal solution that will allow her to return home, for Jan and her DD, for Charlotte with her relationship problems, for Gingercurl and her thesis, and for amber.

Tomorrow I am helping run a church event, which I am quite excited about. We're hoping to attract some new people into the renovated building, and I am hoping it'll be a good day. I haven't really been involved with much yet outside of normal service hours (although I've got more and more involved on Sunday mornings) and I am grateful for the fact that DH seems to be OK about it. Praying for him to continue to grow in tolerance, and maybe even in interest. And praying for a good day tomorrow.

Kaykat Sun 05-May-13 08:28:28

This is an important week for me in lots of ways. There's a chance my H could move out and disappear somewhere to avoid legal action and I need to find a way to investigate whether that has happened. If he stays put I need to find out what my chances are of winning a court case and the implications if I lose. I have a meeting with the solicitor to discuss it all. The purpose is to get the court papers finalised so she must think I have a good case, but it's on my mind that I could lose, he's so slippery, cunning and persuasive. I have no clue what is the best outcome - he disappears, we get home, we don't go home and rent somewhere new? I need some clarity. I am trusting that The Lord knows the best outcome. Many times in th past The Lord has brought a solution to I problem I would never have thought of myself.

I am so thankful for the wonderful people around me supporting me and DS and helping us to be happy.

Kaykat Sun 05-May-13 08:31:02

Oh and great news, I have not missed my H at all for at least a week, probably even two weeks and I have been pleased to be free and sometimes felt content with life, maybe even happy at times.

I am so pleased to read such a positive and string post from you Kaykat You have come so far and been through so much. Well done!! Prayers for clarity for the future for you.

Afternoon All. DS has a rash that started on his cheeks. I had to go for blood tests in antenatal triage because of my high risk of preterm delivery. DS now has a patch of the rash on his forearm and the nape of his neck. He is well but we would appreciate some prayer that his rash clears up and no-one else gets poorly.

Jewcy Mon 06-May-13 00:11:13

Hello, I didn't know you existed smile A very kind lady pm'd me as she found me struggling on a thread I started plus I was getting flamed by the haters.

I won't go through my other thread issues but I would very much appreciate prayer for my first (and last) cycle of IVF in the Czech Republic in June. I am (almost) 42 and using donor eggs as I miscarried last year and I have a blocked tube and I'm running out of time with very little money. Please pray that, if we do not end up with a baby, that God will not leave me devastated and that I will see a glimpse perhaps of an even greater happiness? I'm afraid I have made this baby an 'idol' for which I am ashamed. I worry I won't be blessed because of this.

Thank you for listening. I will work back upthread and lift you up to the Lord.

Tuo Mon 06-May-13 01:31:52

Hello and welcome Jewcy. I'm glad you found us... Praying for you in your situation. I know how difficult it is to pray 'not my will, but Yours, be done', and I pray for strength for you as you go through this process. Please don't beat yourself up about your desire for a baby, which is natural and understandable, especially after your mc, about which I am sorry, and don't give up hope.

Praying for your DS to stay well and for his rash to clear quickly, Room, and for no-one else to be poorly. Continuing to pray for you to be free of pain and for you LittleOne to stay put for a bit longer and to grow and gain in strength.

And, Kay... that is truly an answer to prayer. It's amazing and wonderful to hear you sounding so positive. Praying for that to continue, and for the legal answers that you need.

Also continuing to pray for PA and the whole Attitude family, for health and peace for MHD, for rest and strength for BES, for Blue's job possibility, for Oma as she returns from her travels, and for all who need our prayers, whether they post here or not. Remembering particularly a good friend who needs my prayers tonight, and thanking God for a chance encounter which I think might help to bring me closer to a member of my extended family with whom I haven't always had a great relationship.

Just found these verses (Hebrews 13. 20-21) in the Anglican Compline service for tonight and wanted to share them: 'Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is well-pleasing in his sight; through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.'

ElectricSheep Mon 06-May-13 01:57:47


Morning! Praying as I read through.

amberlight Mon 06-May-13 07:22:15


Kaykat Mon 06-May-13 08:52:35

Hi Jewcy and welcome. I read some of your other thread yesterday. I married a Christian man who turned out to be abusive and cheated on me so whilst reading your post I couldn't help thinking how much better it would have been to marry a non Christian who treated me with love and respect. Stay on here and keep us updated, we would love to pray for you.

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 06-May-13 09:20:04

Hello jewcy and welcome. We had fertility problems (TTC'd for 2 1/2 years) so while I would never claim to have experience of your circumstances I have the utmost sympathy. Praying for you as you go through the treatment and for whatever the future holds.

Tuo that was lovely smile

kay that is fantastic progress! Praying that he is accessible at this crucial time and that somehow you have a place you can truly call home soon, be it back where you used to live or somewhere new.

Jewcy Mon 06-May-13 10:44:04

Thank you, thank you everyone. What a blessing this thread is. I am praying..

Dutchoma Mon 06-May-13 12:14:25

Welcome Jewcy. I know what you mean about making 'having a baby' into an 'idol' and how this can stand in the way of you experiencing God's blessing.
I don't think the blessing is any the less, God loves us and showers His blessing on us, but it may not feel like that. "Count your blessings" is a good thing to do in the circumstances.

I came back from seeing Nickel yesterday. I came to their choir practice on Friday and sang with them in their service yesterday. Such an experience.

And now I would like to ask for prayer for us.
Bob will be back tomorrow and I am just not looking forward to it. He has not had as good a time as I had hoped and it will be hard work having him home again and feeling trapped. We both feel trapped by this illness and yes, there are still blessings to count, but I am having a bit of a hard time of it.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 06-May-13 21:58:56

tis always worse coming back to it, DO, at least for going back to school and routine.

Hi Jewcy and welcome. Stick around and we will support you whatever God's plan is for you.

(((((hugs)))))) DO and a whole bunch of thanks thanks thanks Praying for you to feel less trapped. It must be so hard.

Today we have a Dr coming to visit our village ministry. long day ahead, but very exciting. He is expecting to see hundreds of villagers who never normally see Drs - they would have to travel 2 hours by bus to see the closest Dr normally and they just cannot afford the bus fare! We travel to the village once a week and have grown to know and love some really special people there. One lady particularly who cannot walk since having a dog bite here a few years ago. Please pray for God's healing on many people today. Please pray for the Dr from NZ who has given up his time to be with us. Thank you

Tuo Tue 07-May-13 00:54:50

Oh Oma - I'm sorry you are feeling so trapped. BES is right, it is always hard when you go back after a break, but that doesn't negate the good that the break will have done you. I pray that you find Bob as well as it's possible for him to be, and that he is pleased to see you. I pray too for strength for you, but also support so that you don't feel alone in facing the challenges of your daily life.

Praying for your work PA; thanking God for the doctor who has given up his time to help those who need him most, for the support that you are giving them, and, in general, for you and your family.

MaryBS Tue 07-May-13 07:32:31

Prayers DO, God is there with you and Bob, surrounding you with his love.

Sounds amazing PA, prayers for such a wonderful ministry

Dutchoma Tue 07-May-13 07:57:07

Thank you all for your prayers, I'm sure it will be alright. Bob, at least, can't wait to be home. His birthday tomorrow, 71.

What wonderful news about your doctor coming PA. Will there be medicine and other supplies coming with him?

HadALittleFaithBaby Tue 07-May-13 08:08:15

Remember DO - Reality is kinder than the stories we tell ourselves about it. The anticipation is tough. Praying its smoother than anticipated.

PA that doc sounds awesome! Praying it goes well.

We had a good night smile Faithlet fed for hours yesterday afternoon! Finally settled at 10 but then slept til 1.30! Then slept again til 4.15. Up and down since but those chunks of sleep were awesome!

Dutchoma Tue 07-May-13 11:25:17

I just had an email chat with Jan who is struggling rather a lot at the moment. Her dd is not sleeping well, she is at the end of her course and needs energy to finish it, she is also worried about her weight. Please pray that she will get through the next few weeks and that her dd will start sleeping better.

Also I have been asked to pray for a little girl, Jessica Rose, the dgd of a lady in Nickel's church. She was born prematurely with a good weight of over 5lb. but her lungs have not developed properly. Please pray for an improvement in her situation.

amberlight Tue 07-May-13 16:39:58

Praying through.

madhairday Tue 07-May-13 17:49:03

Hello all, I've not been around for a while, due to various things - thanks for all the prayers, things are feeling clearer and we are certainly feeling more peaceful smile Health is better atm too. I was away over bank holiday which was a blessing.

Welcome Jewcy - just responded on your other thread. You'll certainly be in my prayers here.

Prayers for everyone - I've prayed as I've read - especially thinking of DO (and knowing what you mean about trapped by illness) and of Kaykat.

Kaykat Tue 07-May-13 19:22:46

Lots has happened in the past day. I found out some information about something really selfish and cruel H has done which will be very upsetting for DS. I haven't told him, he's been hurt enough but may not be able to avoid telling him eventually. Solicitors meeting was good, everything starting to move quickly, also scary and as with all court cases there is a risk of losing and high financial costs. I feel emotionally exhausted.

BlackeyedSusan Tue 07-May-13 21:55:57


I had a relaxing bank holiday. despite digging a large quantity of bind weed out of clay soil, taking mum out twice, cooking all the meals, planting 72 plants with dd, batch cooking 11 more dinners, doing thhe shopping at asda

Tuo Wed 08-May-13 01:05:34

Praying for all...
... for MHD - so good to see you back; continuing to pray for good health and greater peace of mind for you;
... for Oma and Bob - for strength and health and peace and rest; and for a Happy Birthday for Bob;
... for Faith and Faithlet - for good feeding, enough rest, and much happiness;
... for Kaykat - for continued strength to deal with revelations about your H's behaviour towards you and DS, and for a swift end to the court case, with you back in your own home and feeling safe at last;
... for BES - thanking God for a good Bank Holiday (I won't say 'relaxing' as that does sound rather busy!);
... for Jan - for all that she has to cope with, and for her DD's sleep;
... for strength and health for little Jessica Rose;
... for PA - that you had a good, successful day today with much healing;
... for Room - to stay well and not in too much pain/too sick;
... for amber, and Mary, and Jewcy, and Momey and ElectricSheep, and for lurkers, those who'd like to post but don't, those who'd like to pray but can't, and any other categories I've forgotten.

BlackeyedSusan Wed 08-May-13 07:42:53

happy birthday Bob

madhairday Wed 08-May-13 11:38:01

Tuo, you are lovely, you know that?

just saying smile

Kay sad That sounds horrible. Continuing to keep you in my prayers.

How is everyone else? Blue? Mary?

DO hope Bob has a nice birthday.

Waves to BES smile

Praying for everyone!

I had a really good job interview day on Friday at KCL, but haven't heard since sad
I've got another job interview lined up for Saturday which I need to prepare for, but I really don't want to waste time if I get the job. Prayers very much appreciated!

madhairday Wed 08-May-13 12:22:14

Prayers for certain Blue. Sorry you haven't heard from Friday's interview sad

MaryBS Wed 08-May-13 12:29:13

Prayers needed for this afternoon, meeting with the additional needs social worker for the first time. Prayers that she'll be able to offer some practical help.

Happy Birthday to DO's Bob.

Blue, there could be all sorts of reasons why you havent heard. Please God its positive. If not, prayers for your next one.

Dutchoma Wed 08-May-13 12:34:38

Is that for you or for ds, Mary?

MaryBS Wed 08-May-13 12:42:31

Supposed to be supporting the entire family, but initially because of DS's needs.

BlackeyedSusan Wed 08-May-13 14:47:51

<waves to mhd> smile

prayers mary

Prayers for you all as I read through.

Happy birthday to Bob, DO and I hope you can enjoy some special time today, too.

Yesterday was a very tiring day, but great fun. I was on the De-worming duty! Oh the glamour of my job!!!! I am slightly concerned though as I needed to ask all the females if there was any chance of being pregnant before giving them a tablet. I am worried that my language skills were not as good as they could be and the ladies thought I was giving them a tablet to stop them getting pregnant!!! I might need to go into hiding for the next 9 months and we might suffer a baby boom in the village and everyone would blame me!!!

Dutchoma Wed 08-May-13 15:50:57

Oh PA sorry, but I think it's hilarious. You need to ask somebody to quickly explain to the ladies. De-worming and contraception pill mix-up grin

madhairday Wed 08-May-13 17:07:23

PA grin that did make me giggle a bit too!!

Prayers, Mary.

Hi All.

Happy Birthday to Bob!

I'm having a bit of a difficult day mood-wise so I'm going to thank God for a very helpful and supportive meeting with the DDO from our sending Diocese on Monday. It was a relief to us that the diocese are overwhelmingly supportive and were going to ensure that college took the same view. I've also had lovely cuddles with DS today rather than being rejected in favour of Daddy (typical since I was admitted to hospital).

Can I ask for prayers for a little friend of DD2 and DS. It really isn't fair for me to say why but her little world is about to change lots sad May she know the healing love of God.

Eventually got a phone call today that I haven't got the job sad
Well gutted.
God must have other plans for me, if only they would become a bit more clear to me that would be great.
I really really don't want to go to the other interviews, I don't feel called to those jobs anymore sad

HadALittleFaithBaby Wed 08-May-13 19:18:09

Happy birthday to Bob! Hope his homecoming was good.

So sorry Blue sad Just hang on to the thought that God has a plan for you...

Praying for you and your family room.

We are getting on ok. Managed a couple of naps today - bliss!

Dutchoma Wed 08-May-13 20:14:36

Very sorry Blue, you had such a good feeling about this job and not getting it is a blow. Will you get any feedback as to why you didn't get it?

Dutchoma Wed 08-May-13 20:18:33

Praying for you too, Room. Reading Psalm 103 always puts things in perspective for me.
We have had a good day today. Lots of things come out that Bob didn't like at the nursing home: no hair wash for a fortnight, one bath and one shower and strip washes the rest of the time. Food cold and unappetising. Two different liquid types of medicine doled out in the same cup. And at no time did he mention any of this to anybody, just kept grumbling in his beard.

Ah yes they did mention why I didn't get it, because I already have plenty of pastoral experience and they were looking to give someone a good experience of that. Feel somehow cheated as to why they invited me for interview as they knew that from my application anyway! sad

Badvoc Wed 08-May-13 21:59:04

Oh gosh so much going on!
So sorry I haven't read all the posts.
I will pray for you all tonight x
Can I ask that you pray for my ds1 who is away in his first trip with school and is finding it hard (as is his mum!) and my ds2 who is ill again.
Back to gp tomorrow, hope it's not chest problems... He was recently dx as asthmatic and it's been a very rough winter sad
I am also hanging onto the hope that God has a plan for me...feel very low ATM and a bit lost.

Badvoc Wed 08-May-13 22:01:33

A prayer for you all before I try to go and get some sleep...

O Lord, support us all the day long
Until the evening comes,
The shadows lengthen and the busy world is hushed,
The fever of life is over and our work is done.

Then Lord, in your Mercy,
Give us a safe lodging,
A Holy rest and peace at the last.

Tuo Thu 09-May-13 02:49:23

Amen to that, Badvoc.

Am up ridiculously late and need to sleep, so just passing through to say that you're all in my prayers. More soon...

(Oh, and MHD... thank you smile - this is a lovely thread.)

mathanxiety Thu 09-May-13 05:13:20

I love these threads and am mostly a lurker. I will be praying for everyone.

Wondering if I could add DS's college roommate to the list? He is just 18, and having a very hard time adapting to university life. Last week he checked himself in to the psychiatric ward after a week on suicide watch, and he will be released soon. He will return to the dorm room with DS for the remainder of the year (not long to go now) and then home for the summer. I've been praying that he will overcome his suicidal thoughts and find some way out of the darkness. This is a lad who is a great musician, plays a number of string instruments really well, and has a whole life ahead of him, if only...

Also, something going on in my own life right now that is a recurrent bother.

BlackeyedSusan Thu 09-May-13 07:46:41

morning all. it is a bright sunny day here, though the forcast says wind and rain. bit like life, wish we had a focast fo difficult days so we could stay in bed!

sewing day today. hoping to road test the new sewing machine. I will be thinking of you!

Dutchoma Thu 09-May-13 10:53:57

Badvoc thank you for that prayer, it always brings tears to my eyes.
Math praying for your ds's room mate, so sad when young people feel so worthless. Difficult for your ds as well. He must in some way feel responsible for his friend's wellbeing.
Bes hope the sewing goes well.

Bob had to wake me up in the night because his machine stopped working. We are now waiting for the engineer to call, but it may be after the weekend as he is on a 'three night call out'. We got it working again simply by taking the plug out and putting it in again and it is working now.

Badvoc Thu 09-May-13 11:10:28

It's my favourite Oma smile it was read at my uncles funeral 2 weeks ago.
Sorry to hear about bobs machine...it's amazing how often turning something on and off again can work though!
Math...I will be praying or your sons friend.
Only one more night til ds1 is home! I feel like I have a limb missing sad and I bet he hasn't missed me at all, the little ratbag smile
Ds2 is still poorly and am contemplating taking him to the gp this afternoon.
My dad has a hospital appt on Monday wrt to his swallowing problems.
Please pray for a good outcome for him.
Also, if you have time, please pray for me. I am very unhappy at church ATM. partof me feels I should just suck it up and not let the vicar or his attitude upset me but I am finding it very hard.
It's the PCC meeting (I am the sec) in 2 weeks and I am dreading it.
He is the sort of minister that thinks the "little" jobs are beneath him and I am finding that very hard to cope with. He is actively dismissive of the elderly congregation and his wife refuses to be involved at all.
I am not sure there is anything else I can do sad
Any advice/thoughts?

Dutchoma Thu 09-May-13 11:26:53

Hopefully ds1 has not missed you Badvoc, the whole purpose of having a child is to bring it up so they don't miss you. Also hope you get some help for ds2 from your GP.
Bob has swallowing difficulties and we need to thicken all his liquids and make sure his food is soft. If your dad needs to go that way, make sure he has some Resource Clear to thicken his watery liquids.
As far as your church problems go: how long has the vicar been with you? Is there any way to 'call' him on his behaviour re his parishioners? What are the other PCC members like? Any help from them? What jobs does he do, if they are not 'little'? I don't know enough about the hierarchy in the CofE, but I'm sure there is one. MaryBS would be a good one to talk to

Badvoc Thu 09-May-13 11:31:31

I know. As my mum says, we only get to borrow them for a while.
I think my dad may have allergic oesophagus. But my GM and my late uncle had Parkinson's and dysphagia can be a symptom sad
The vicar has been with us for 8 years now.
He has one church and 3 retired ministers and a lay reader.
He asks people to do jobs and then just abandons them...won't answer e mails or phone calls etc.
He knows very well that the PCC are frustrated and fed up but - and this is what I struggle with - he doesn't care.
I almost didn't stand again on the PCC and am now regretting that I did.

Dutchoma Thu 09-May-13 11:35:23

Easier to change things from the inside out than from the outside in Badvoc.

Badvoc Thu 09-May-13 11:36:47

Just so fed up.

Dutchoma Thu 09-May-13 11:58:29


Jewcy Thu 09-May-13 12:45:04

Praying for all as I'm reading through. I agree, Tuo, that you are an amazing person.

Who is Bob?

I have done nothing to glorify God on the YEC thread and feel terribly inadequate (intellectually & spiritually). Praise God that He loves us even when we let Him down.

Dutchoma Thu 09-May-13 13:18:12

Bob is my dh, Jewcy. He has been suffering with an unidentified lung disease for seven years after a heart bypass operation) and we have been upheld by many prayers.

Dutchoma Thu 09-May-13 14:46:49

I have done nothing to glorify God on the YEC thread either, Jewcy I was not even aware of it until you mentioned it. IMHO Pedro is just out to stir the pot and best ignored.

Tuo Thu 09-May-13 23:43:24

Praying tonight for...
... Badvoc - so much going on in your life: praying for a safe return for your DS1, for health for your DS2, for your dad with his swallowing problems, and for your church situation. Praying also for your priest, for his eyes to be opened to the harm that he is doing. I find it so difficult when people fail to treat those they see as somehow 'beneath' them with respect (I had an absolutely eye-watering example of this in a meeting today). angry
... Oma and Bob - for Bob to have a better night, with a fully functioning machine and rest for both of you.
... Mathanxiety - for your DS's roommate to find a way to believe in himself and to find a way forward; for your DS, too, to be able to support his friend if he can, but also to know that he is not responsible for him (I have seen some truly stunning examples of how students can support one another, but I know it can be hard for the supporter as well as the one who needs support - your DS shouldn't be afraid to talk to a tutor or to the University Counselling Service for advice if he needs it).
... Blue - I'm so sorry about the job. It may not be much consolation, but when they take a long time to get back to you it often means that you were their second choice, and they are keeping you on hold until the first choice signs on the dotted line. I pray that one of these other opportunities which you have turns out to be the very place where God is calling you to be, even if you don't yet realise it.
... Mary - praying that the meeting with the social worker went well and that (s)he will be able to give you good practical support.
... Room - prayers of thanks for support received, and praying for you to feel as well as you can, to have lots of lovely cuddles from your LOs, and for your baby to continue to grow well. How many weeks are you now? Also praying for your LOs' friend.
... PA - continuing to pray for the success of your work (and - ahem - praying that you communicated better than you feared in the language, and that there won't be a baby boom in 9 months' time!); also for your DDs and your parents.
... Jewcy for you as you prepare for your treatment. We can never really be anything other than inadequate in the face of God, and yet I believe that he loves even our inadequacy, our struggles, our wanderings... I have quoted this before, but I will quote it again, because I really like the idea that, even if we get it wrong or flounder about (as I so often feel I'm doing) not really knowing what God wants or how to go about doing what I think He might want, the fact that we are trying still 'counts':

'My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.' (Thomas Merton)

I pray that God will bless all of us on our different roads, whether we walk on them confidently or tentatively and however lost we may sometimes feel, and I thank God that these threads and the people on them have been part of my journey. I've come a long way, and you lot have made it feel easy... flowers

Badvoc Fri 10-May-13 06:54:46

Thank you tuo x
I do feel rather strung out ATM. I am sorry you have to deal with this attitude too sad
But ds1 is back today! smile

Tuo Fri 10-May-13 08:54:20

Luckily that attitude is rare where I work, Badvoc, but on the odd occasion that you do hear it, it makes me shudder...

Dutchoma Fri 10-May-13 10:21:30

Thank you TUO for your prayers. We did indeed have a night without interruptions by machine. An engineer is going to call tomorrow.

madhairday Fri 10-May-13 12:41:59

Thank you TUO, how lovely smile

Blue, I'm so sorry you didn't get the job, I know how much you wanted it. I know the right thing is out there, but also know that doesn't help right now. If you want a coffee and chat you know where I am - or we could meet in town in Costa one day smile

Badvoc - praying for all that is going on in your life and especially for peace and purpose.

math - welcome, and praying for Ds' roommate.

Praying for Bob, Do, and for you, and hope the machine doesn't malfunction again! So sorry to hear he found the home so difficult sad

Praying for everyone - PA, Mary, BES, Jan, Kaykat, Tuo, Faith, Room and everyone else.

Jewcy - don't feel bad. I often feel I haven't glorified God on threads. I just believe God is pleased with efforts to speak up for him. I often get it wrong...hope things are feeling better for you.

I'm feeling much better, spiritually and physically - those prayers are working. Also want to share something about dd - ages ago I asked for prayer about one particular girl who was making her life hell - being really nasty - I also felt God was asking me to pray for the girl, rather than against her iyswim, and praying for God's blessing on her life, and that she would look kindly on dd - well this week dd has come home saying they are great friends and have exchanged numbers etc, and the girl actually apologised to dd, saying she was sorry she'd treated her badly, that dd was a nice girl and she felt bad. So how's that for answer to prayer - and that God doesn't always do it how we expect or would want humanly? dd has forgiven her, and so have I (now!) grin

Glad to hear that the machine worked overnight, DO. Did you get interrupted by anything else or did you get a whole night's sleep?

I'm finding today very hard. Having had a 24 hour period with lots of contractions and some of them getting more painful rather than just uncomfortable I am fed up. I don't want to be watched any more. I don't want to be asked questions about what happens now. I just want to be left alone. This baby is clearly not coming yet and I would like to try and enjoy the last few weeks of pregnancy in as normal a way as possible. Only I can't because I'm not allowed to do anything. Today I was supposed to be the 'national guest speaker' at a women's evening (at our sending church so not as grand as it sounds!) and it was a really big deal for me. Instead, I'm going to be sat on a sofa, uncomfortable and no doubt watching more TV by myself whilst DH is out at placement because I can't manage the 170 mile trip to do the talk. I want to do something. I feel like a bit of a sideshow now having been in hospital four weeks ago and still no baby. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to give birth at 31 weeks but I can't take this limbo land anymore. I can't even manage church or chapel at college sad

Sorry. Self-obsessed rant over. I really needed to let it out and I can't do that to friends in RL who are doing so much to help us in a practical way.

MHD glad that you're feeling better and for answers to prayer. Did you manage to make the decisions that you needed to or is that still ongoing?

Badvoc Fri 10-May-13 13:03:29

Room oh gosh that sounds very tough. So sorry you had to miss your event. How disappointing. (I went into prem labour with ds2 at 33 weeks. They managed to stop it and - if you can believe it - we was a week overdue!!) smile
MHD Wow. Prayer at work indeed!
I was speaking to a friend yesterday about sept (my ds2 starts school) and I have felt under some pressure to have a plan/re-train/get a job. But actually, I think I really need a break.
It's been a very very rough 2 years and its only now that I can see that.
Ds1 is back today! Can't wait to see his beautiful face smile

Badvoc Fri 10-May-13 13:03:58

Oma...glad your night was more peaceful x

Dutchoma Fri 10-May-13 13:42:33

It turns out that our message to the engineer was not passed on. It has now and someone will call tomorrow. Bob is deemed to be able to go without the machine for three nights, fortunately it has been working as he would be in a total panic if he couldn't use it.

madhairday Fri 10-May-13 16:08:38

Room sad That is so hard - I so know where you're at. So sorry you missed your event. I'm sure they'll ask you for another. Praying for peace in this turbulent time and for a happy last few weeks of pg. <<<hugs>>>

HadALittleFaithBaby Fri 10-May-13 16:38:40

Gosh it's all go.

DO I'm glad the machines worked ok, praying for an uneventful night and peace for Bob.

Room I'm sure it's frustrating that you can't go anywhere but you and the baby are the priority right now. You've done so well just to keep that baby where it should be the last four weeks smile Hang in there, you're nearly there.

Badvoc praying you enjoy the reunion with your DS.

mhd delighted to hear you're feeling better! Fantastic approach to loving your enemy re your DD! Well done - I know it's easier said than done!

We are getting on ok. Finding it gradually seems to be getting easier most days. Not definite routine but some elements of patterns emerging. Last night she slept for 5 hours! Mmm sleep! smile

Badvoc Fri 10-May-13 16:44:34

Thank you all so much for your prayers re ds1.
He is home and LOVED it smile I think he wore the same pants for 3 days but never mind!
He liked the food, slept well and didn't miss me! He is growing up smile
He spent all his (£5) pocket money on gifts for his brother. His friend lost his GM the day they left. Ds told me he felt very bad for xxxx "but don't worry mum we kept his spirits up".
He is such a kind, sweet boy. I am very proud!

Faith...5 hours? That's great. Be kind to yourself x

Dutchoma Fri 10-May-13 17:19:17

Badvoc that's wonderful. How is ds2?

HadALittleFaithBaby Fri 10-May-13 17:41:43

Oh yes Badvoc I couldn't quite believe it! Not expecting it to happen a lot! Your DS sounds like a treasure smile

Badvoc Fri 10-May-13 19:42:28

Ds1 is 9 and ds2 is 4 and sadly feeling a bit poorly tonight.
Has been sick at pils so on the way home sad

Badvoc Fri 10-May-13 19:46:10

Oh! I thought you asked how old they were Oma, sorry! blush
Dh is now stressing about his leather car upholstery. Sigh.
I hate sick sad

Dutchoma Fri 10-May-13 20:15:10

Well, no, it is nice to have an idea of their ages, but I remember you were going to take ds2 to the doctors. I wondered how you got on and am sorry to hear that he was poorly at grandparents. Take a bucket when you fetch him.

Badvoc Fri 10-May-13 20:18:13

Poor thing has been very sick since he got home, bless him.
He has fresh pjs on, a sick bowl in hand on the sofa and is watching tv.

Dutchoma Fri 10-May-13 20:22:39

Flat lemonade is good in small quantities to prevent dehydration, poor thing, both you and him.

Thank you all for prayers and kind words!
We've made some life-changing decisions after being turned down for the job.
Decided I didn't want to go to the other 2 interviews I've been offered add I really don't feel called to those jobs anymore.
We are going to move in with MIL so I can change diocese and have a chance of having a BAP next academic year and start training the year after.
I've already contacted the DDO there and within half an hour had an email back. Already noticing the difference!
Really looking forward to it!
Not being offered the job really put things in perspective! God works in mysterious ways indeed! smile

Dutchoma Fri 10-May-13 22:17:47

Sounds like a plan Blue. Will you have a job there?

No I won't! DH is going to try and transfer his.

Praying for Badvoc's DS2.

Blue have you looked at any colleges yet?

Badvoc Sat 11-May-13 08:31:46

Blue...wow. Really hope this works out for you. God does indeed work in mysterious ways smile
Thank you for the prayers for ds2 he was fine during the night and has had had a banana this morning. I am somewhat of an emetophobe so panic slightly at any sickness (pathetic I know)
I really empathise with your predicament blue. I am at somewhat of a crossroads myself ATM (ds2 starting school in sept after me being a sahm for a decade!) and I am struggling to know what God wants me to do.
I also got offered a job some weeks ago which seemed to good to be true (turned out it was smile) and I was very downcast for some time afterwards but actually I think it's all for the best. Ditto my OU course that I cancelled due to my mums operation and ill health. Ds2 was so ill at the same time it would have been impossible to so any coursework and I would have wasted £2.5k!!
I guess DDOs must be like LAs...the are great ones and not so great ones smile

Room yes we have, we'd like to go to Cuddesdon smile

DH spoke to HR yesterday and they're looking into a transfer.
We now have to speak to landlord to see when we can move out.

Prayers for everyone this lovely morning

cloutiedumpling Sat 11-May-13 09:55:16

Lurking and praying, praying and lurking.

We were doing the grocery shop yesterday and bought mustard seeds for a recipe. Now I can't get that song "Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains, move mountains" out of my brain. Next I'll be doing the actions too!

Kaykat Sat 11-May-13 10:48:38

Would appreciate prayers for DS, he often gets short periods of sadness about our situation and he is struggling to cope with how bad he feels during those times. I so want to be able to solve it and I can't because the only thing which would make him truly happy is to have his family back together and happy again. We may be back home in a couple of months if the legal process works in my favour, although potentially longer as I now have to evict squatters thanks to my cruel H.

Dutchoma Sat 11-May-13 10:51:07

Oh KAY, that's just horrible. Praying for ds that his feelings of sadness will pass and that he will see that being unconditionally loved by one parent is worth a lot.

Badvoc Sat 11-May-13 10:52:17

How awful for you and ds.
I will pray for you both.
Won't be going to church tomorrow now as I don't want to - potentially - pass a sickness bug around (and 2 of the older members of he church have been hospitalised with it recently)

Dutchoma Sat 11-May-13 10:54:29

Best plan Badvoc as sickness bugs can be very easily passed on. Hope nobody else goes down with it in your family.

mathanxiety Sat 11-May-13 16:19:04

Hello all -- DS's roommate is still hospitalised and will be now, it seems, for quite a while -- I am inclined to think this is a very good thing. The university came and removed his belongings yesterday. The day before, the roommate's father came by and locked his computer and wallet into the closet. DS was really hmm because the only people who ever go into the room are him and the roommate (and of course the social worker who visited during the suicide watch) -- frankly if DS was going to help himself to the computer or the wallet he would have done it before then. The roommate's parents sound like prize boobs from what DS tells me of conversations with his roommate and this little incident.

I will be saying a prayer for everyone.

Dutchoma Sat 11-May-13 19:15:07

Probably of the variety which expects perfection of ds while blaming everyone else for his failures, Math. Prayers from me too.

Can I ask you ladies something? Not sure I can face mn itself tonight.

My brother got exasperated with DD standing in the way, as he tried to change his sons nappy this afternoon. He told her to 'go away'. I thought that was horrible as she's only 5 and was just interested. She'd been playing nicely with his son all afternoon and being really kind to him. It all seemed so unnecessary of him to do that. He has a short fuse just like my Dad, who I now never see.

Am I being too sensitive due to my upbringing? Or was it mean?

I was frozen and felt like a child again. It would have started a huge fight if I'd challenged him. Feel rubbish tonight and guilty for not saying anything. I apologised to DD at bedtime about him and she said she didn't mind. Which actually made me feel worse.

Kay I'm so sorry to hear you now have squatters on top of everything else sad Praying.

BlackeyedSusan Sat 11-May-13 21:47:25

hello. typing with perforated fingers, but children have been to church in costumes (one slightly unfinished.) they looked fabulous (blatant boast!) dd cried about going so I have stayed, for hours. confused

it as interesting to see how bad dd was physically today.... I need to get the referral form printed off and sent into the ot's for an assessment for dyspraxia.

I am struggling to keep my temper today as someone is not being very thoughtful and I am not feeling patient at dealing with sulking and incompetance. I have had to resort to meditating on the face of a certain police officer, never a good sign that.

mome, it is difficult to tell really. all depends on context and tone of voice and a pattern of behaviour. what uspets one person, may not upset another. however, from what you have written, there seems to be a pattern of snappyness and short temper which has led you to feeling sensitive to the early signs of temper tantrum... if he had not been snappy on other occasions, you would not have felt upset by this occaasion, even if he was not being unreasonable this time.

please caan someone make that^ make sense...

So much to pray for on here. I've had a lovely evening with DH and now need some sleep so I won't do loads of specific prayers.

Mome did he ask your DD nicely first or did he just go straight to snapping and telling her to go away? If I'm honest, I have inherited my father's temper although it is almost always when I'm extremely tired that it comes out. I did have to learn that no matter how naughty/annoying the children have been all day, I need to take each incident as something new and therefore the rule of 'ask nicely first, then ask firmly, then tell' applies. I have to remind myself that I wouldn't 't want someone shouting the odds at me and it does get a far better response from the children. Maybe he could do with learning that little technique? Sometimes I catch a very tired DH skipping the 'ask nicely' stage and I will say something in front of the children if it seems unjust. He does the same for me. Better to have the chance to admit that you are in a temper and are sorry than to act like it's OK. Does that help at all?

mathanxiety Sat 11-May-13 23:41:27

<Mome, I think he could have said something like 'could you fetch me a wipe' or 'stand back here so baby won't pee on you'. It's not too sensitive of you imo, to feel it was mean -- I would say lazy too. It takes just a little more effort to get what you need done accomplished without making others feel small, and I think people who won't do this are a bit up themselves>

Tuo Sun 12-May-13 01:31:55

Sorry... passing through in haste again tonight. I've been locked in mortal combat with my printer (which has 'eaten' all my paper and not printed my document!) and have to get up at 5.30 a.m. to go off to a conference for work for a couple of days.

Will be thinking of you all and praying as I go.

Badvoc Sun 12-May-13 08:21:01

I don't think it was a very nice thing to say to say to anyone, let alone a 5 year old.
I can see why you are upset.
And ESP if he reminds you of your dad.
At least your dd wasnt upset.
BES...have you looked at rrt for your Dds dyspraxia? It helped my ds1 a lot.

Thanks ladies. Everything you all said was helpful.

I think it stirred up a lot of feelings. I was treated very badly by my Dad growing up and he would say all sorts of things to me in anger and the dynamics have followed into adulthood and he still feels he can say as he wishes, but now to my kids! Which is why I no longer see him.

It's very hard not to feel my brother was doing the same. They're similar. He tries to be a better Dad to his own son but I felt that he'd never talk to his own son like that, why my child?

I still feel awful this morning about it and my family in general. I was the scapegoat growing up and my self esteem and confidence are often low. I want to protect my kids from the same.

He tried to ask nicely but it wasn't a direct request really just a passive comment iyswim? Math's approach works best with her. So he snapped. It made my stomach lurch as I heard him do it sad She'd been trying so hard all afternoon.

BlackeyedSusan Sun 12-May-13 18:22:48

just aa quick pop in while the computer is working. it is being very tempermental. and I may not be able to get back on. please pray that it keeps working as I have stuff to do this week.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 13-May-13 09:50:51

I m still here. had difficulty booting and had to go to the bios page, but not sure what I did to get it started as I could not see where the problem was. (it is often the date reset) h is going to look for a new computer and we will see if we can jiggle finances about a bit.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 13-May-13 09:51:47

oh and we have lost the remote and it is a disaster to the children.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 13-May-13 11:45:39

well, the remote appeared, I have also found the dustpan as an added bonus so I can give the floor a sweep before hoovering, the living room looks worse (why does it always do that?) there re 50 million pieces of black cotton and material to clean up after last weeks sewing

Badvoc Mon 13-May-13 12:19:45

Ds2 much Perkier.
Dads hospital appt went well...at least he has to go for a battery of tests but the doc didn't seem to think it was anything sinister.
Feel terrible.
Been pretty much sleeping all weekend.
All I have done is some ironing and cleaning the oven.
Wish I could go for a nap this afternoon, but I have ds1 to pick up and ds2 to entertain sad
Oh well.
The sun is shining (for now) and I just heard a great tune on the radio smile

Dutchoma Mon 13-May-13 12:33:08

Just had a message from SEStheBrave. she is struggling with a persistent eye infection for which she is having tests at the hospital. While waiting for a blood test (30 people ahead of her) she had a phone call from dd's nursery to say she has a rash. It's either chicken pox or hand,foot and mouth.
Fortunately she is giving thanks for an understanding employer, but some prayers might well be in order.
I heard that Jessica Rose is breathing unaided but not holding any food down. Please continue to pray for her.

Badvoc Mon 13-May-13 12:42:14

Will do x

madhairday Mon 13-May-13 12:43:36

Praying for SES, Oma.

Blue, so sorry about the job, but sounds promising the idea you're having - where does your mil live? (you don't have to reply here!!)

Mome...hope you feel OK today.

BES, if you want to talk about dyspraxia I'm happy to anytime as dd is dyspraxic. She gets some good support from school now.

Prayers for all.

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 13-May-13 12:47:21

Praying for all.

I'm finding things quite tough - not entirely sure if its in the realms of normal with a newborn baby or not...I do have a history of depression and anxiety. With the lack of sleep some old symptoms are rearing their ugly heads. It's also taking its toll on our marriage and we're working against each other when we desparately need to work together!
I'm taking her to get weighed this afternoon and will speak to the health visitor. Prayers into this would be appreciated.

Badvoc Mon 13-May-13 13:15:04

Having had pnd myself I will be holding you in my prayers this afternoon faith x

Dutchoma Mon 13-May-13 13:25:24

Praying for you Faith, for Faithlet and your dh.

Hi MHD, I'm feeling ok today. Sitting in my car snooping on mn before picking up DD. DS asleep in the back. He'll be grumpy when I wake him in a min.

I'm missing LM at the moment. No changes to report on this court case, it drags on as ever. ExW still haranguing over the details.

We're better off as friends. I like talking to him, he makes me laugh etc but I need a nice full time man. Fed up of being alone now. I'm trying to convince myself as usual wink

I'm dabbling with online dating but no one's really caught my eye lately on there.

Oh yes praying Faith, I really struggled with depression with my second baby. But I didn't get it diagnosed until much later. It's hard x

SESthebrave Mon 13-May-13 17:44:00

Thank you DO for spotting my plight on FB. It was great to know you guys were / are praying. DD's rash has been diagnosed as viral and if well enough can go back to nursery tomorrow.
I'm still feeling sorry for myself and can't fully open my eye, have swollen glands and a fever. Am dosing up with what they've given me - 2 lots of eye drops and oral ABs together with paracetamol & ibuprofen to try and control the fever.
Work are fine at the moment but I hope it doesn't drag on. It's only my 4th week back from mat leave.
Please pray that whatever DD and I have doesn't spread to eachother or to DS or DH as well as for speedy healing.

Tuo Tue 14-May-13 01:08:01

Hello again! Got home a couple of hours ago after an excellent, but tiring, conference. Would appreciate prayers for big scary work meeting tomorrow... Thanks!

Have read briefly, but will catch up properly tomorrow as I need to sleep now. But praying for all, and especially for SES, for Faith, and for Momey tonight... But also for all of you.

mathanxiety Tue 14-May-13 01:54:01

<Mome, it strikes me that you could maybe turn this into a teachable moment with your DD - first by asking her how she felt about being spoken to like that, and next by telling her she didn't deserve it. I think it helps children who have contact with someone like your dad or your brother to know that someone is watching and looking out for them, and that they don't have to accept what adults choose to dish out to them just because they are adults. I think it's also a positive thing to ask a child how she feels so she understands that her feelings are important. Sorry to derail>

I've had a read and a pray through. Faith just to say that sleep deprivation mimics depression according to the lovely sleep specialist who helped me get my children to sleep better when the HV wanted to send me on a PND course. In my case it was definitely sleep deprivation. As for struggles with DH, we've been like that after each baby but it does get better slowly. It is a uniquely trying time that you are going through with unbelievable exhaustion thrown in to pressure everything. It will get better.

Can I add a prayer request? Not sure what to ask for exactly but I'm back in hospital. Maybe a bit of stop/start latent phase or maybe just severely irritable uterus (apparently I was having too many contractions for it to be proper labour hmm). Things have settled down a bit. I'm not sure what is going to happen today...

HadALittleFaithBaby Tue 14-May-13 07:32:35

Thanks for all the support/prayers. The visit with the health visitor went well. Faithlet was weighed and is now 6lb 13.5oz! (She was 5lb 4oz at birth). One of our biggest issues was whether the BF was effective - DH was worried she wasn't getting enough. His repetition (through his own concerns) included saying this and suggesting we introduce formula which I don't want to do. The problem was we feel like we we're on opposite sides but sometimes the things he said make me question if I'm a good enough Mum for her. Now we know she's definitely getting enough so we're both a lot happier and more relaxed. The HV seemed surprised that she's taken a bottle so easily and that I'm doing well to express as much as I am. She backed me up about not doing formula yet. Last night we were snoozing when he got in from work. He took her and gave her a bottle while I slept. I feel much better/calmer today. I'm going to see how I go. I have my 6 week check up coming up so will speak to my GP. I also the advice and got set up to co-sleep which I'm not doing all night but am if she won't settle which I feel is helping us bond.

Room the sleep deprivation mimicking depression makes sense to me. Praying your symptoms ease off again. Are you 31/32 weeks now?

Mome I think Tuo's plan is a good one.

Praying for you SES - for health and wellness in your family.

Tuo praying for your meeting.

DO did you get Bob's machine fixed?

Prayers for all.

That's good to hear Faith.

Thank you Math. I'm going to be more prepared next time, so I can say 'something' to him, if he ever does something like that again. Not to be confrontational but to show DD I heard/ noticed what he did and that it's not ok. Does that make sense? Not sure what I'd say yet though.
Probably something like 'that's a bit unkind, please ask her nicely'.

Badvoc Tue 14-May-13 07:50:41

Faith...that is fantastic weight gain so whatever you are doing keep doing it!! I loved co sleeping with mine...nothing like the smell of the newborns head IMHO smile and as they get older sleepy morning cuddles smile

Badvoc Tue 14-May-13 07:53:25

Room...oh you poor thing..I had irritable uterus with ds2 and it's the pits
I had ctx every night for weeks before he was born (I realise this is not comforting!)
I was exhausted as I am sure you are.
In fact I thought the doctor made it up as I had never heard if it!!
Rest up as much as you can - at least if it is IU then it's not prem labour which is a good thing.

SESthebrave Tue 14-May-13 08:13:41

Faith - sounds like you are doing brilliantly. I'm glad the HV visit was a success.

Room - praying for your little one and you.

Thanks for your prayers. DD was awake 1-2am and 4-6am but her rash is a bit better and no temperature so DH has taken her to nursery. I'm feeling rough - tired, achy and feverish but my eye is slightly better. Please continue to pray for my recovery and that DD doesn't get worse.

Thinking of and praying for all of you too.

Dutchoma Tue 14-May-13 08:47:33

Praying for SES, for Room and Momey.
Also for TUO in her big scary meeting.
Giving thanks for Faithlet's weight gain, oh how easy to suggest formula. You are doing so well Faith.

Yes, Bob's machine got fixed, it probably wasn't broken anyway. It was just that we had never heard the alarm on the old machine (the one that got replaced in the nursing home) and it was a surprise to hear it in the middle of the night.

BlackeyedSusan Tue 14-May-13 14:59:43

oh heck. I am nervous, I emailed the ed psych ages ago bout getting raw data from dd's tests. I did not have a reply as he as away so thought it ws not possible. except now he has replied and I need to ring.

I am a bit confused dd hit the ceiling (score, not plasterboard) 4 times during the test... comparing her early development to others early development leads me to believe that she may have stopped scoring at about the ceiling level rather than being able to go much further past, but it would be useful to know (and I am bloody nosy) hoeverr, I am mix of emotions, disappointed if she does not score highly yet relieved that there will be less need for advocacy, scared of what I am about to find out. I was a bit disappointed with her full scores, then worked out another score that is useful for children with physical difficulties and was shock I have been reading a lot recently and addled my brain... and well confused

sory just wnted to write it down really.

HadALittleFaithBaby Tue 14-May-13 19:17:10

Glad it's ok DO.

Thanks for all the encouragement. I feel much better today, had a quiet day and had a nap with her co-sleeping which was great.

Praying for you and DD bes.

MaryBS Tue 14-May-13 19:55:28

Just seen the news about Trinity's partner who has died, and I'm heartbroken for her. For those who are new, she lost her husband for years ago. Please God, how much more?

BlackeyedSusan Wed 15-May-13 12:54:22

sad mary. I saw it yesterday. it is unbelievably awful. sad

I am sitting in the corner rocking and crying... strange how bits of paper can reduce you to tears. I am looking for infomation for the solicitor re dad's death and sorting out paperwork that is after separation as h ussed to do it. there are pieces of crucial information missing. on the plus side. I have found my marriage certificate. it was where it should be, so I have found it previously, put it away, but forgotten (not surprising in the circumstances. )

i am nervous today as we have got to go to a party, straight after school. (30 mins)

Badvoc Wed 15-May-13 13:21:07

BES...I think sometimes the little bits of forgotten paper, photos and old documents can illicit such strong feelings. I do hope you feel stronger later And manage to enjoy the party.
Awful about Ts dp. Just awful. Sometimes life can seem unremittingly bleak sad
My ds2 now has another appt at the docs next week for a facial injury he got at my pils 3 weeks ago.
Basically, he now has a haematoma (blood clot) under the skin sad
I feel terrible. I should have taken him the doc when it first happened but he has been fine, eating and drinking, saying it didn't hurt...
Why do I never seem to get things quite right?

Dutchoma Wed 15-May-13 14:43:51

Never, Badvoc? Or do you get 99 things right and one thing (understandably) wrong and are beating yourself up over it?
BES glad you found the marriage certificate at least, hopefully the other pieces of paper will turn up as well.
Just signed up to do a few squares for Trinity's blanket. Like all old-time Mners I checked that it wasn't the old thread.

amberlight Wed 15-May-13 19:02:34

Praying through...

Badvoc Wed 15-May-13 19:17:53

Oma...I see what you mean. Hank your to your wise amd kind words.
I also checked the date on Ts thread sad
Praying we all have a peaceful night x

BlackeyedSusan Wed 15-May-13 22:08:50

i have bag full of paperwork to be filed. the post man delivered several more letters today too, more filing. dad's bankstatements have neverturned up. we could really do with them.

I got to the party at a reasonble time. am feeling the effects of hurrying across town though. ah well, it was good exercise, and think of the calories used! (which makes me think of cake... )

SESthebrave Wed 15-May-13 22:31:44

Continued prayers for all you lovely ladies and also for Trinity and her DDs.

DO - how did you get to be so wise?

Still improving here so thank you for your prayers. Am back at the eye clinic in the morning.

Tuo Thu 16-May-13 00:22:23

Soooooo tired, but reading and praying for all.

Survived meeting - slightly frustrating but never mind. I didn't make a fool of myself, so that's something. Just want to add prayers of thanks for all the people who support me in my work and outside of it - especially the lovely person who sent me a little snippet of peace today. [cryptic] grin

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 16-May-13 07:38:48


For Trin in what must be awful circumstances sad

For Tuo - for energy! Glad the meeting went well.

For bes dealing with the emotional fall out of going through paperwork and the ongoing family challenges.

Badvoc I'm sure DO is right! Try not to make sweeping judgements against yourself.

After a rough night the night before last, we had a much better night last night (phew!). I've won an electric breast pump on eBay which should come soon which should make life easier for expressing - she takes a bottle well but I find it hard to find the time to express and my hand hurts from the hand pump! So glad I've got that sorted smile off to meet another MNetter from my antenatal thread who moved to the area recently for coffee later so looking forward to that smile

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 16-May-13 09:25:51

For a short time only I'm going to put a couple of photos on my profile...

SESthebrave Thu 16-May-13 09:45:13

Oh Faith, she is gorgeous! She seems so alert in the one on the playmat. You should be very proud of her and yourself smile

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 16-May-13 09:56:27

Thanks! That one was taken yesterday - she's having very alert periods! Going to borrow a play gym for her. DO knitted the pink cardigan in the other one smile

Oh, Faith I'm getting so excited about having our baby now that I've seen your pics. Faithlet reminds me why I'm doing this pregnancy thing. She is so gorgeous. You can see the look of discovery on her face when she's on the playmat smile

Sorry not been around I've been ill! sad

A lot better now and hoping to be 100% in a few days. Just the smallest thing takes so much longer to get over here due to the heat.

Lovely photos faith

I have been reading and praying, just not felt up to typing a post.

Prayers for you all.

Dutchoma Thu 16-May-13 16:34:48

She's a little darling Faith. And I'm glad that the cardigan is coming in handy. Looks like the cardigan for your little one will need to be a bit bigger now, Room

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 16-May-13 17:02:12

Thanks DO! Yes it's a tad big yet but since she's growing well it'll fit nicely soon. It goes with lots of her outfits too!

Sorry to hear you've been ill PA, praying for your health.

SESthebrave Thu 16-May-13 19:17:26

Sorry to hear you've been ill PA
Praying that you'll be back to 100% soon.

Tuo Fri 17-May-13 01:18:00

Nooo.... just typed a long post and promptly lost it! angry

I wanted to say thank you to whoever was praying for energy, as I feel much better today, although it's late again!

Praying tonight for all on this thread - readers and posters, lurkers, pray-ers, and those just having a look!

Praying in particular for:
... Trinity - what a truly awful thing to have happened. I am without words. sad
... PA - that she feel better soon, and for the whole Attitude family, over there and back here.
... Oma and Bob - thanking God for Oma's wisdom and love so generously imparted, and praying for Bob's health and for support for both of them .
... Faith - Faithlet is truly gorgeous! Thanking God for Faithlet, and praying that Faith stays happy and positive as Faithlet continues to grow and flourish.
... Room - that LittleOne stays put for a bit longer, that Room isn't in too much pain, and that the whole family comes through these tough times and is soon enjoying their beautiful new baby.
... BES - as she deals with the difficult task of sorting her dad's paperwork, and as she fights for her children to get the support they need.
... SES - for her health and that of her DD.
... Badvoc - for her DS2's health, for her future plans, and for her to be kinder to herself!
... mathanxiety - for her DS and his roommate
... and for our lovely MHD who I gather is ill again.

Watch, dear Lord, with those who wake, or watch, or weep tonight, and let your angels protect those who sleep. Tend the sick. Refresh the weary. Sustain the dying. Calm the suffering. Pity the distressed. We ask this for the sake of your love. Amen (St Augustine)

Badvoc Fri 17-May-13 07:05:19

Hello all...can I ask for prayers for ds2 wh I am taki back to the gp today?
Hs facial incur seems to ha gotten worse sad

DO I think this baby is going to need a much bigger cardigan now! I can't quite believe that I've made it past 32 weeks.

So DH had his mark back yesterday for a presentation he gave while I was in hospital last month. He got a first! I've had weeks of him thinking that he had ruined his average score and how he hadn't done a very good job hmm We're currently waiting to find out where he has been matched for a curacy. We know that we should hear any day now and it's frustrating not knowing when we know that the decision has been made.

Praying for healing for all those who are needing it (including DS who started vomiting while DD2 was in her ballet lesson last night).

Dutchoma Fri 17-May-13 09:59:51

Yes Room, last night I had a look at the cardigans I made earlier and they are definitely going to be too small. Actually, nothing should be so small that they fit into that size. Soon run up a bigger one.

DO your local neonatal unit will be very pleased to receive the tiny cardigan smile

Dutchoma Fri 17-May-13 10:41:47

I know but I may well hang on to it for the next tiny MNter baby. Trouble is with our hospital that they put all stuff you hand in for the neonatal unit in the shop and then people have to buy it back. That was not my intention. AIBU?

We had a rough couple of days, hoping we're past the worst of it. DD3 has been vomiting non stop the whole of Wednesday, yesterday luckily only twice, but I'm exhausted and took it out on DD1 this morning sad
I apologised and we had a cuddle, but just wish I hadn't snapped at her.

BlackeyedSusan Fri 17-May-13 12:37:42


Dutchoma Fri 17-May-13 13:23:17

Too much to cope with Blue. Hope dd3 is better now and dd1 will understand that mummies are people too. A necessary lesson to learn.

DO YANBU. That is shocking!

Dutchoma Fri 17-May-13 19:47:16

Oh good, I glad you think so Room, because half of me thinks that the hospital must need to make some extra money and this is one way to do it. But I've given up sending it there.
Do you want to share the gender of your little one? If you know, that is?

We don't know DO because I want a surprise to help get me through labour (especially pushing!). I've been extremely clear about this with all the extra scans we've had over the past few weeks. I've had to look away quite a few times!

Dutchoma Sat 18-May-13 09:47:48

Fair enough.

Kaykat Sat 18-May-13 09:54:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dutchoma Sat 18-May-13 10:05:00

Can I be perfectly honest? I have found myself in arguments with God just lately. About Bob, Trinity, Room, Kay.... Just thinking:"What are you up to God? Do you really care at all?" And all I get is:"I know, darling, I know" And it makes me want to cry.

HadALittleFaithBaby Sat 18-May-13 10:11:28

Oh Kay, you're doing so well! Praying for progress with the proceedings. You're absolutely right, God does not blame you at all! I'm glad the Bible reading has spoken to you about that. It's wonderful news about your DS! Both the academic positive message from teachers and also how he's feeling smile praying it continues.

Prayers and blessings for all, happy Saturday!

Kaykat Sat 18-May-13 10:52:46

DO no need to argue with God on my account, I know if I am patient I will get justice in the end. I am praying and reading the bible more than I have done in years. I have learnt about forgiveness and patience and trusting God. I have made close friendships I didnt have before with family and friends, I used to be so shallow but now I talk to people on a much deeper level there's nothing too taboo for me, I can talk about anything. I didn't even know I was being abused for 20 years, think how much I can help others now. DS has a good chance of a happy relationship in the future now that I am working to banish the chauvinist attitude indoctrinated by his dad over many years and he gets nothing but praise and encouragement from those around him, no more controlling and criticism. I have truly come out of the fog and living in the light.

HadALittleFaithBaby Sat 18-May-13 10:55:11

That's just made me well up kay... smile

Tuo Sat 18-May-13 14:38:07

(((*Kay*))) Amazing words! It is so good to 'hear' you so positive, and also to hear how well your DS is doing. Long may it continue. Praying for a swift resolution to the court case so that you can go home at last and feel safe.

Oma I am so sorry that you are feeling so down. sad I wish I had words of wisdom to impart, but I guess that your questions are the questions of all of us, in the face of our human frailty and of the suffering that exists in this world of ours. I can't answer the questions, but I hope it helps you to know that you are not asking them in a void, that we are all praying with you and for you, and for those you mention. Sending prayers and love your way.

Dutchoma Sat 18-May-13 16:12:41

Thank you. Thank you for your prayers. I also had a pm from Niminy (who posts more on the chat thread) which was lovely.

Tuo Mon 20-May-13 02:07:46

Hello all. I hope that everyone has had a joyful and blessed Pentecost.

I have been mostly thinking about peace today - the peace that Christ bequeathed to his followers - and about how to try to find ways to experience even occasional snatches of that peace in my own life. I made a start by attending a very lovely simple contemplative Eucharist service tonight, which allowed me to find a quiet place (literally and metaphorically) and just enjoy being there with God for a few minutes.

Praying for peace for all here, but especially for Oma, for Room, and for Kay. Also thinking of BES who has so much to contend with, of Badvoc, of PA, and of MHD - praying that peace in her case constitutes a rest from pain and illness.

SESthebrave Mon 20-May-13 06:16:47

TUO. - what a lovely reflection and, yes, I think we would all benefit from creating a bit more of those peaceful moments in our lives.

Prayers for all in need. Asking God for his blessing and live on each one of us and for our own individual needs - whether that be peace, strength, healing or something else.

Badvoc Mon 20-May-13 07:27:47

Thank you tuo. Peace....that sounds nice!
Hoping to spend some time with my friend from church at some point this week...she always manages to make me feel better!

Kaykat Mon 20-May-13 07:40:23

I had a tough day yesterday, some Christian friends have tried to be supportive to both myself and H but I now feel the help they are giving him is hurting me and DS. I feel betrayed but these are good Christians who do everything with much prayer so I must be wrong to feel this way. I now feel I must distance myself from them as it is impossible for them to support us both and I don't have so many friends that I want to lose any. Didn't get much sleep worrying about it.

Badvoc Mon 20-May-13 07:43:55

Or perhaps your H has manipulated them too Kay?

Tuo Mon 20-May-13 08:08:46

On phone so can't write much, Kay, but I agree with Badvoc - it sounds as if they are acting with good intentions, and have been manipulated by your ex into believing his view of things. Can you sit them down and tell them the whole story, and then say that you know it's invidious to ask them to take sides, but that it's too painful for you to be close to them while they are close to him. If they can't or won't distance themselves from him then you will need to distance yourself from them (not forever, but until - as they doubtless will eventually - they see him as he really is). I hope and pray it all works out for you.

Badvoc Mon 20-May-13 08:11:35

People like your Ex are very good at manipulating people, even (especially?) good, well intentioned people.
But - if they cannot support you in a helpful way and if they make you unhappy - then yes, cut contact.
Time to think about you and your ds.

Dutchoma Mon 20-May-13 09:14:48

That is very hard Kay but not unusual. Badvoc is right. They don't have a clue about what he has done to you. Talk to them, tell them what really happened. The truth will set you free.

MaryBS Mon 20-May-13 10:13:01

If they are hurting you by helping him Kay, you need to tell them. Prayers for you... keep positive.

Lovely 3 minute retreat today, reminding us all how we are loved:


Quick prayer request.

My car badly overheated on the way to work. It's now in the garage. I had a hole in my rubber pipe and all the water had leaked out.

Please pray I haven't damaged the engine as it's a cheap job to repair if it's just a hose. But I simple cannot afford it if it's more serious sad

It's not wrong to feel this way Kay x

Can't say it better than others but praying.

Badvoc Mon 20-May-13 13:38:13

Oh mome...I do hope it's not major with the car. I know all too well the sinking feeling when you get another bill that you can't afford sad
Well, I had a horrid weekend.
Went to church for the Pentecost service which was lovely.
But I was vile to dh and dc all weekend.
Dh let me down on Friday (long story but he said he was taking me out for lunch for our wedding anniversary which was last week) I was quite excited! He then not only didn't take me, but didn't come home from work til 3pm (usually home at 12.45)...no phone call, no text, nothing.
I felt a fool sat there waiting sad
Then he got me some flowers - I know I should be grateful for any gift - but they are the gaudiest, cheapest looking supermarket things I have ever seen! I have such simple tastes...tulips, freesias, but bright purple and yellow and red crysanthemums!?
We have been together for nearly 18 years and sometimes I dont think he knows me at all.
So I feel pathetic and ungrateful all at the same time.
Then Ds1 was moaning about doing his dyslexia spelling workbook and I just flipped at him sad I have spent 100s of hours helping him with his literacy and I am sick of it.
I don't want to be his teacher, physio or therapist anymore. I just want to be his mum.
Sorry for the mini rant...I know I just need to accept that dh is not the thoughtful caring type and that ds is only 9 but I am pretty tired of it all ATM.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 20-May-13 15:17:02

just being a mum would be fabulous... oh to ditch the physion/otx 2 children and all the extra appointments! it is tough badvoc. unrelenting. hope you have recovered from that thread. [stalker emotion]

good luck with the car mome.

i m trying to tidy. it is like trying to bale out the sea with a teaspoon. i am feeling demoralised about the state of the flat and stessed tht I ill not get eveything done before we go on holiday. mum is coming on thursday, hoping she is capabel enough to fold washing and sort toys.

Badvoc Mon 20-May-13 15:28:31

Well, that was my own fault BES! I should know better really...smile
I have done nothing this afternoon other than watch octonauts and colour with ds2!
Ds1 just home so will be doing his computer work and spelling work soon...sigh.
Hoping that when dh is home I can cook dinner and then slope off for a bath and a wallow in my own misery smile

Dutchoma Mon 20-May-13 16:59:38

Oh dear Badvoc hugs. Hope you feel better for the rant, that's all I can say. It sounds relentless.

Kaykat Mon 20-May-13 17:03:48

Thanks for your messages. I already told them the full story and even before I did the wife in particular saw right through his lies. However they feel they mustn't judge him without evidence. I have found that men and Christian men in particular are unwilling to judge cheating and abuse harshly, they want to consider both sides to a story. My best support aside from family has definitely come from women.

Dutchoma Mon 20-May-13 17:25:10

That is quite sad reflection Kay. Surely no-one could want for more 'evidence' than your h has already provided? I don't get it.

Kaykat Mon 20-May-13 18:00:07

I don't get it either. He admitted the adultary to them himself but probably none of the rest of it. They are helping him to do something dishonest IMO on the basis of having no evidence of wrongdoing. And they are keeping his secrets that could help me. I've decided not to contact them for the time being. If they contact me I might try to explain although have tried already and they give very plausible arguments to back up there actions or i might just ignore.

Kaykat Mon 20-May-13 18:02:48

More legal news today and not sure if its good or bad, it may delay things which is frustrating, solicitor thinks its good news. It made me cry again.

Badvoc Mon 20-May-13 18:35:48

Don't contact them and if they contact you let them know you no longer want a dialogue with people who aid an abuser.
I simply do not understand their attitude either.
Oma..it is relentless. At least it feels that way ATM.
My mum is currently wearing a heart monitor all week and my dad has just been told his cholesterol is too high. He is also having barium meal tests etc for his swallowing issues.
All I seem to do is worry lately, and it's exhausting.
I have finally bitten the bullet and made an gp appt for myself, but can't get in til July!
I used to be such an optimist!
I know others are battling much bigger problems but the last 2 years have been really rough and I am not sure I am the same person I was, and that's not Dhs fault.

Badvoc Mon 20-May-13 18:38:02

Did I tell you all about what happened in feb half term!?
My mum went in on the Monday for her femoral bypass. My sister went on holiday to lanzarote for a week the same day.
On weds the conservatory roof fell in.
And on Friday dh had a minor op which meant he had to have strict bed rest for 48 hours.
THAT was a fun week!!
You have to laugh, sometimes smile

Badvoc Mon 20-May-13 18:45:45

Things I am thankful for;
My dc who are an inspiration daily.
My house...the bits of it that aren't falling down!
Family...my pils are lovely people (and Christian)
This thread
That I am about to have a long hot shower smile

Well I'm thankful for DO who has faithfully prayed for me and my family for nearly six years now. DO I know that it is hard to make sense of things at times. I'm not surprised that you are a bit mystified as to where God is within so many hard things to tackle. I keep telling myself the truth - He is in the midst of it with us. I wonder if I'm having a bit if a glimpse at how difficult it must be for you Spiritually to not be going to church regularly. I feel Spiritually starved at the moment. Reading the bible, praying regularly, chatting things through with DH and listening to online sermons all helps but I find that there is something about going to church that is different. I am struggling to connect with God at times.

Badvoc Mon 20-May-13 19:27:47

I tell ds1 that I go to church to be fed.
I do feel adrfit if I miss a lot of services.
Yesterday was all about peace and the Holy Spirit and I have seldom felt less peaceful.
The fault is mine, but I don't know what to do about it.

Whoops, I just accidentally posted this on a thread in the pregnancy topic!

Oh and a little prayer request... I have another glucose tolerance test in the morning so please will you pray that I keep the lucozade down and manage the test. My consultant is very keen to get the results ASAP because I'm showing lots of signs of gestational diabetes (I don't think I have it, but you never know) and it could cause the baby big problems if it is born without me being treated/diagnosed. It would be very helpful to be able to tell people that I definitely don't have GD despite making a big baby, constantly weeing glucose etc etc.

Badvoc Mon 20-May-13 19:29:53

I will be praying for you tomorrow morning room x

Dutchoma Mon 20-May-13 19:53:42

And me, praying for Room and for Badvoc. I am grateful to my neighbour who came to cut my lawn and who said he had been to Pentecost in the Park and had enjoyed the music.

Badvoc Mon 20-May-13 22:11:08

O Lord support us all the day long
Until the evening comes,
The shadows lengthen and the busy world is hushed,
The fever of life is over and our work is done.

Then Lord in your Mercy,
Give us a safe lodging,
A Holy rest and peace at the last. Amen

Night night all x

Tuo Mon 20-May-13 22:40:09

Amen to that, Badvoc.

Prayers for you, for Kay, for Oma, for Room and for all who need our prayers tonight - on here, in our families and among our friends, and in the wider world.

BlackeyedSusan Mon 20-May-13 23:55:43

praying kay. hugs.

Kay and Badvoc how are you feeling this morning?

I love my midwife! She's so lovely. I can't believe that she is doing my GTT at home for me and wasn't even trying to rush. She's genuinely interested and caring. She's also a Christian so she understands how I feel Spiritually about things. So far so good with the GTT. I've had my lucozade and I'm not feeling sick.

Badvoc Tue 21-May-13 11:19:32

Have been wandering around sainsburys wondering how you were getting on room! Sound positive so far...
I spoke to a good friend last night for an hour - she is a teacher and very stressed ATM - and it actually helped to be focussing on someone else's problems!
I have a b of gov meeting tonight and a PCC meeting tomorrow so that will keep my mind off things.
I honestly don't know how I feel tbh.
The main feeling is tiredness I think.

Kaykat Wed 22-May-13 00:16:05

Had a busy day which always helps. Met a lovely lady whose H also cheated on her and a man I barely know has shown us great generosity.

Hope it went well this morning Room. Hope you are both feeling a bit better Badvoc and Oma.

Tuo Wed 22-May-13 00:54:17

Prayers for all tonight.

Thinking especially of...
...*Room*, praying that fears of gestational diabetes will prove to be unfounded and that her pregnancy will continue safely;
... Kay, thanking God for support received from friends and others today;
... Badvoc, praying for the many difficult things she has on her plate right now, for peace of mind and the strength to deal with them;
...*Oma*, who also has much to cope with and who is always a pillar of strength and wisdom for others, that she may feel the love and support of prayers for her at this time;
... BES, another friend here with a lot on her plate, for whom we ask support and strength and energy;
... PA, praying that she is recovered from her illness and looking forward to some time back in the UK soon; praying, too, that her family in the UK and overseas, are well;
... MHD, praying that she's in good health;
... and (a bit randomly, but she just popped into my mind) for Gingercurl - does anyone know how her thesis is going?

Praying, variously and jointly, for peace and strength and happiness and health...

BlackeyedSusan Wed 22-May-13 10:05:41

prayers kay. for the legal stuff to get a shift on...

My car cost £104 but the fan and air con now stay on permanently. My dashboard keeps dying and coming back to life too. So I think that's all connected. They need to remove the dashboard and send it off. So I'd be without a car for 5 days.

I can't get a dashboard from a breakers yard instead, as my cars immobiliser is in it and it's coded.

I'm meant to be camping in Swanage from this weekend for a week, although I have to drive back for DS's assessment on 30th and then supposedly back down again. As I'm meant to be down there for Sat to following Sun. All paid for.

I'm not going to re-arrange his assessment as it took months to get and there's a long waiting list. But I'm starting to think that perhaps I'll go home early and save all the extra driving. Especially with my car being temperamental. Decisions decisions.

Hello Ladies. Prayers continuing for all. I don't think that I can sum it up better than Tuo so I won't try!

Thanks for prayers for my GTT yesterday. It went well enough and now I'm waiting for the results. Hopefully it's all normal and people will stop worrying about the amount of glucose that I'm passing. I did have a shock last night though! I had a phone call from the GP surgery saying that I needed a telephone consultation with a GP about my blood test results shock It turns out that it was about my tests to do with parvovirus though and I already knew about this. I have no idea how I've managed to get to the age of 30 without immunity to slapped cheek but apparently I have and the consultant virologist is most concerned <sigh>

If anyone has an idle moment and has any bright ideas for my thread about songs for DD1's party, I'd be really grateful and hopefully you ladies will understand where I'm coming from.

HadALittleFaithBaby Wed 22-May-13 19:36:40

Evening all. Reading and praying.

Mome I guess it could be worse....praying its easily fixable.

Room praying for your health and the baby.

Praying for energy Badvoc!

Well I have been pretty low today but am now a bit better. I broke the electric breast pump as soon as I got it (washed the motor) and generally felt overwhelmed. Had booked in to get my hair cut but they cancelled! I felt all frizzy and crap. I managed to book in with another hairdresser. Dad looked after Faithlet while I got it done. She had about 4oz from a bottle with him! But settled afterwards. It's the longest I've left her. I felt better for getting my hair done.

He carried on cuddling her while I did a bit of cleaning (we've got family visiting over the weekend). I feel loads better! I am wondering if I might be anaemic - Faithlet is over 5 weeks and I'm still bleeding! Will ask doc at 6 week check on Friday. I will mention my low mood when I'm there....

Dutchoma Wed 22-May-13 19:53:20

Good plan Faith speaking to the doctor on Friday and well done for getting out to get your hair done. Lovely picture of your dad cuddling Faithlet
Hopefully the car will behave itself on your way to Swanage Mome.
And not the foggiest about the songs for dd's birthday party Room

Prayers appreciated, I've just handed in my resignation, plans for the future are taking shape smile

Praying for everyone!

BlackeyedSusan Wed 22-May-13 21:46:54

mum's bloodpressure has gone over 200... she is worried because she has broken her phone. she iis worried about packing for holiday. it is more trouble than it is worth. I can't find the correct sized trousers for dd. I seem to be able to find everything but. I have left that job for a while as ds is not settling when I am on the landing.

Badvoc Wed 22-May-13 22:16:54

Very quick post to say I am thinking of and praying for you all.
Horrid PCC meeting and now i have to try and do the minutes!!

BlackeyedSusan Thu 23-May-13 00:22:08

i m just falling into bed after sorting out clothes fo holiday, only to find there are non for dd in the current size. emergency trp to sda tomoow to get some and hope they dry in time to pack. she normally wears dresses, but trousers for the beach. will get some boys trousers so tht ds can wea them when he eventually grows. he currently goes to school in size 2 trousers.

Just in case anyone is up (and knowing that God stands outside of time so it doesn't matter when we pray any way) I have been having contractions for a while now. They hurt and this baby's head is low so that makes them hurt more. I'd really like to go to bed and get some sleep now. I've taken some painkillers. Fairly certain that this isn't the real deal but I've had enough none-the-less...

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 23-May-13 01:29:22

I'm up (feeding) - praying it settles.

Glad it was ok ^Badvoc*. Praying bes.

MaryBS Thu 23-May-13 08:15:46

Praying Room, Badvoc, Blue, BES, Faith, DO, and Kay, and for anyone else in need of prayer. If you're not mentioned, just mentally add your name to the list, I don't miss people out deliberately blush.

We are going on holiday this evening. DD has come down with a cold, enough to keep her off school today. Praying for a lovely time and the chance to relax as a family.

That's a shame, Mary. Hopefully a day in bed/resting will get her over the worst of it.

I finally managed a drug-induced sleep (about the time when Faith came on smile). Feeling pretty rough today but I have a good friend coming to help me bake cakes for DD1. She has been unwell so I haven't seen her for ages and really miss her. I love how she connects with God when creating something so it should be special grin

MaryBS Thu 23-May-13 10:05:50

Misread that as a drug-induced SHEEP blush, I need my eyes testing!

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 23-May-13 10:17:33

Baa grin

BlackeyedSusan Thu 23-May-13 12:35:14


I have been to 2 supermarkets looking for clothes for dd to wear on the beach, the only place she wears trousers. now I need a bit of sunshine to get them dry

Massive relief here. Hmrc have replied and I do not need to pay anything back grin

Mum's lending me her car and mine is going in for the dash to be repaired/rewired.

Now I just need prayer for my camping trip. It seems over whelming with packing, driving and then just how it all goes whilst there. I need to save pennies to fix car, so I need good weather desperately for beaches etc.

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 23-May-13 16:46:49

Oh that's great news Mome! Praying you have a lovely time and fine weather. I used to do Crusader camp at Studland and I have fond memories of that part of the world! smile

I am doing much better today. The pump is working again! I've managed to express plenty and am enjoying Faithlet so much more. Maybe just one hour away from her was enough to make me realise how much I love her?!

Dutchoma Thu 23-May-13 17:13:24

I'm sure you are tight Faith: an hour away was all you needed. Make sure you build some time away into the coming weeks and months. Every time you come back you will fall in love with her all over again.
Good news about the care Mome. Does that mean you will take your mum's car on holiday or will yours be repaired by that time. Praying for good weather on all our accounts for the next week.

Good news here too, my glucose tolerance test gave normal results grin

Mums car for holiday, mine into garage for the week.

Kaykat Thu 23-May-13 19:01:51

So good to see lots of answers to prayer on here. I am getting very frustrated with waiting, somehow I need to get more patience or for things to get moving quicker or to appreciate where I am now rather then always waiting for things to change. Any of these things would stop me feeling so bad and waking up every morning thinking I might phone him to try to sort things out which would be a really bad idea. I wake up feeling so so bad every day. Really not looking forward to a long break, I need to keep busy and not got much lined up yet except one visit to a friend which might not even go ahead.

Kay where do you live? I'd love to meet up sometime.

Perhaps we should have a prayer thread get together again soon?

Kaykat Thu 23-May-13 20:22:17

Oooo did you have a get together before? How wonderful. Got a feeling I'm miles away from everyone. I will PM you Mome.

Tuo Thu 23-May-13 20:50:58

Lots of prayers from here...

Momey and Mary and BES - for your holidays to be relaxing and peaceful. When we lived down south we used to go to Studland quite often: it's very beautiful (mind the nudists, though wink!).

Room - for a better night tonight with no pain, and thanks for no diabetes.

Kay - for answers soon, and for things to distract you over the weekend.

Faith - for your check-up tomorrow; do mention your low mood and the possibility you might be anaemic... Childbirth does take it out of you, and yet looking after a new baby requires you to be in tip-top condition. (Hmm... not sure how that's meant to work, then! hmm)

BES - also for your mum's health; really hope she's OK.

Mary - for your DD to feel better soon, so that her cold doesn't ruin your holiday.

Blue - for exciting new developments as you leave your job and start on a whole new adventure.

Badvoc - for more peace in your life, for health for your DS and your parents, and for career decisions.

Oma and Bob - for health and happiness for you both.

Also for those we haven't seen for a while: MHD (praying she's staying well), PA (her DD's wedding must be coming up soon... hope all's well for the whole family at this time), amber (praying you have a relaxing Bank Holiday weekend), Ginger (for her thesis), lost (for her personal situation), and Jan, SES, Soozi and others...

CharlotteCollinsismovingon Thu 23-May-13 22:42:30

Aw, thanks for the name-check! Shall I update?

I told H it was over on March 10th. Then took him back at the beginning of April to try again. (Was away on the holiday I asked for prayer for - missed the support of MN so much those three weeks!) It was probably as well that I tried again, as the six weeks that that lasted for showed me that any change there was was not enough to make an equal, unabusive partnership. So last Sunday I ended it again.

I have not regretted it once, this time. I have had amazing little interventions from God, like strength provided before I'd finished praying for it and my favourite, a Queen song popping into my head as I prayed about the situation: "God knows I want to break free." grin

H is not accepting the separation as yet, but good counselling we are doing could help. I still hope that he will make fundamental changes, but for his own benefit rather than to resurrect the marriage. I really am moving on this time.

Lovely to catch up, reading through the last few posts. Congratulations to Faith on your lovely LO and praying for you Room with your imminent arrival. And a quick <wave> to math whose posts I read avidly on a competely different thread.

BlackeyedSusan Thu 23-May-13 22:44:41

yay to so many answered prayers mome.

and to a working breast pump. (and after not admitting all the trouble with the garage to mke you feel better too. blush )

mums bp went down a bit.

i have the suitcase out ready to receive washing when it is dry. the sun came out a bit and aired quite a few things. I may have to whack the radiators on for a bit tomorrow to dry the last bits.

That sounds so good Charlotte. Lots of love to you x

BES I gave up and climbed into bed a short while ago. I have tomorrow off work, so I'll try and crack on then.

Hi everyone,

Lovely to have so much positivity around here at the moment and little steps forward for those needing them. God is god.

We are doing ok here. Under 4 weeks and we head home for 5 weeks. I will be doing a panic shopping trip for the dress for the wedding as soon as I land! DD1 seems to be plodding along ok-ish at the moment, no great dramas or anything, so that is a good plus. DD2 is doing ok and waiting on police to see if her incident goes to court. DD3 is handling all the wedding plans very well and has finished her college course and passed all her exams, soooooooo proud of her, she has had so much to contend with over the past 5 years and has come through it happy and blessed!
Here DS and DD4 are doing well and looking forward to coming home and seeing family again.
Dmum and Ddad are not so good health wise, but I am hopeful that I will get to see them again on this earth, which a year ago I did not think I would.
Big decisions needed to be made here. Please pray for wisdom and a clear guidance from God.
Church back home have not invited us to talk when we are back! sad angry - useless, clueless bunch!!! - and that is my Christian version of how I feel about them!!! <unChristian version available on request!!! grin >

Prayers for everyone as I read through.

Badvoc Fri 24-May-13 08:23:16

Very quick post...I was rushed to hospital early hours yesterday with AF.
Had to have beta blockers and warfarin but was discharged last night.
Very scary sad
Blue lights, straight into resus...
Anyway, am home and feel pretty weak but am ok.
Please pray that it doesn't happen again and that the further tests I have are normal.
Thank you x

Dutchoma Fri 24-May-13 08:43:47

Badvoc how scary. Glad you are home now.
Prayers for all.

madhairday Fri 24-May-13 09:54:30

That sounds scary Badvoc, my mum has af, and is on warfarin, it can be so horrible, praying you stay well.

Just a quick pop in....sorry for not being around a lot lately - I was poorly then incredibly busy over past few days, then off on holiday tomorrow (nice weather please...we're camping...must be mad!) Keeping you all in my daily prayers and sending love to all...have read through and prayed.

What's AF? Sounds scary.

I'm camping too MHD so we're both mad smile

Badvoc Fri 24-May-13 10:37:33

AF = atrial fibrillation.
I don't do camping....I like my creature comforts smile

Dutchoma Fri 24-May-13 12:07:31

Me too, Badvoc about the camping. Just googled AF (as I didn't know what it was either) and then it sounds even scarier.

Badvoc Fri 24-May-13 12:10:54

I was very scared Oma.
I said a quick prayer I can tell you!
The paramedics were marvellous, but when they tell you that you will be bounced around a bit and turn the lights and sirens on because they have to get you to hospital NOW it's hard not to be!
Feel weak as a kitten today which I am sure is normal. Very very tired too.
And the site of the warfarin injection is very sore, as is where they put the pads for the monitors (I think I may be allergic)
I am a bit claustrophobic so camping would not be my idea of a good time. I think it's a marmite thing isn't it? No in between you either love it or hate it.
I do hope the weather stays nice for you!

Dutchoma Fri 24-May-13 12:19:08

I'm sure prayers had to be quick Badvoc. I will most certainly keep them going for you for a bit. How are the children now?

Badvoc Fri 24-May-13 12:59:30

They are fine thank you.
Ds2s cheek may take some time to fully heal, but he is not in any pain.
Ds1 only has 6 more weeks left at primary school...how did that happen!!?

madhairday Fri 24-May-13 16:17:26

We love it, but do cheat a little as we have a folding camper (half way between tent and caravan) so it has bedrooms, fridge, cooker, heater, sofas etc. Couldn't go back to proper camping now at all!

Yes af is not nice. My mum has scared us a few times. Hope you are ok Badvoc and praying for peace for you.

My tent sleeps 6 and is pretty big with a living area too and you can stand up in it. Big enough for me. Not quite as nice as a camper but still great.

I'm going with a bunch from Church so they'll be lots of people about and group catering under a marquee.

I'm guessing that people are going to the Big Church Day Out this weekend?

I've been reading and praying but I'm feeling very rough. It is Dd1's party tomorrow and I do not want to go. I was up in the night feeling like I was about to have D&V amidst some really strong contractions and shaking badly. I still feel awful now. I don't think that I can make this party perfect for DD1 even if I try because she is so particular, difficult and generally quite ungrateful! I've just sent her to bed because I can't cope with her lying to me to anymore and not eating perfectly good food because it doesn't adhere to her ridiculous self-imposed food rules. DH is out at placement and I simply can't do this tonight.

Sorry for the rant when there is stuff actually wrong in people's lives. I just needed to vent.

Dutchoma Fri 24-May-13 20:49:27

Room that is truly horrible on top of all you are going through with the pregnancy. Praying that you will have a better night tonight and that dd1 will realise that she has only one mummy and that mummy needs a bit of looking after.

Badvoc Fri 24-May-13 21:14:02

Oh room...that sounds tough sad
I do feel for you. I had some very rough nights with irritable uterus and its exhausting.
I will pray for a better night for you x

Kaykat Fri 24-May-13 23:30:47

Praying for better health for Badvoc, Room and MHD and hope everyone going away has a happy and relaxing time.

Had a terrible day, one of the worst so far, just soooooo homesick, my mind is on overdrive trying to find a solution and there isn't one. I really need the legal stuff to speed up, can't bear the waiting.

Oh Kay praying x

I'm not going to the Big Church Day Out. I'm off to Swanage. But if anyone is near there, let's meet x

BlackeyedSusan Sat 25-May-13 08:36:39

oh dear, so much going on.

I have been rushing around and ranting tying to pack with mum getting under my feet and asking the same question over and over. losing stuff and horror of horrors she woke me early this morning so I am particularly grumpy. she has deteriorated significantly since dad died. it is difficult to deal with and the childrens difficulties and I may have been nanting at 11 laast night as she spent 2 hours faffing around going to bed and I had little sleep on thusdy and I had been working and answering questions for 16 hours at that point.

she also had a panic because she did not remember that I needed to go get petrol. i also booked ds's party (yay) as after the holiday would be too close!

Kaykat Sat 25-May-13 09:27:37

BES it's so hard dealing with dementia it can be so hopeless at times, I feel for you, do you have any siblings to share the burden?

Does anyone have any suggestions how I can get more patient and accepting of my current situation? Any bible verses to keep me strong? If only I could be happy that I have a nice place to live right now with nice supportive people and be grateful for the much closer relationship that has developed between me and DS recently. The whole time I feel so homesick for my house and my possessions. I just can't cope with it any more.

Just popping by quickly to say that DD1's party went well and she even said to me that I had made her party special grin I didn't realise how much better behaved she is than her peers!

Badvoc Sat 25-May-13 19:36:10

I wish I had any advice about patience and acceptance Kay!
I am sure Oma will be all soon with words of wisdom, but atm I fake it til I can make it smile

Dutchoma Sat 25-May-13 19:46:26

Sorry folks, but I sat looking at Kay's post and thought:"What on earth do I say now?" And didn't. I just know that just when we think that all is lost and we haven't got an ounce of strength left, God Himself intervenes just long enough to get us to take just one more step, just one more day. Bank holiday weekends are the pits though.
So glad dd's party went well Room, sad to hear though that her little friends were not very well behaved.

CharlotteCollinsismovingon Sat 25-May-13 20:19:35

Kay, that sounds tough. Praying that you'll see some movement with the legal stuff, at least.

Glad the party went well, Room.

Swanage - ooh, a bit jealous happy for you, Mome; have a lovely time. And mhd with your camping madness too.

PA, prayers for wisdom for your big decisions. And hmm about that church of yours.

Kay I wonder if you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to feel a particular way. Have you considered that it is helpful to be feeling like this? As in, if it is spurring you on and making you fight then that's good and a massive turn around from being a victim? Please remember that God sees the injustice that you are going through and will be angry for you. Also, the peace of The Lord is not an absence of a storm but peace that passes all understanding. You can have the peace of The Lord even living where you are now and keep on fighting to get back to your previous home.

Tuo Sat 25-May-13 21:09:58

Wow! Loads happening on here in the last few days. I normally try to check in each evening, but last night DD1 had a party (for a friend who's leaving to go to a different school) and afterwards I was so exhausted that I just gave up and went to bed. [Zzzzz!]

Kay - This was on my church's Twitter feed today, so I'm passing it on to you: 'The Lord heals the brokenhearted,and binds up their wounds' (Ps. 147). And what Room said... that makes a lot of sense. Praying for peace for you this weekend.

Room - Excellent news about your DD's party. Nothing like a big dose of Other People's Kids to make you appreciate your own, I find! Praying for a good night's sleep tonight, without pain and/or contractions.

Charlotte - lovely to hear from you, and great to hear you sounding so strong. Praying for strength for you as you step forward on this new path.

BES - praying for you, your children, and your mum... but especially that you find some time to have some peace during this half term - it sounds as if you really need it.

PA - loads going on in your life as always. Praying for you, your children, and your parents; for the decisions you have to make; and for a bit of appreciation from your home church [ hmm = hard stare at PA's church...!].

Badvoc - praying you feel much better soon. Do take it easy - that sounds sooooooo scary.

And prayers for all who are off on holiday this weekend - for sunshine and fun and relaxing times.

amberlight Sat 25-May-13 21:13:23


Prayers appreciated please. My grandad is in hospital again.
When we visited back in April he only just got out after 6 weeks in. He looked very frail and that was probably the last time I will have seen him. We Skyped last week and he loved it.
Feel very sad, I know this is how life goes. I still have all my 4 grandparents.
It's very tough on my Mum and uncles and aunt.

Tuo Sat 25-May-13 22:55:49

Oh Blue, I am so sorry to hear this. I remember when he was poorly before. sad

Praying for you, and for him, and for the whole family. I'm glad he got to meet your DD3.

Kaykat Sun 26-May-13 08:04:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dutchoma Sun 26-May-13 10:47:15

Oh Kay, no I don't worry about your 'up and down' comments. I'm just sorry that there is so little I can say or do about it.

My Bank Holiday weekend should be good: I'm off to a golden wedding dinner today with friends we have known for over thirty years, so sorry Bob can't go too, but ds is coming to cook dinner for him and they will all have dinner together including Baby Rose (who is nearly two, so not really a baby any more).
Then hopefully dd and the children will come tomorrow, although dd was not feeling very well yesterday with a very sore throat.
Very glad that the weather is so nice.
It is nearly a year too that we came back from the Brompton Hospital with all the equipment and a referral to the palliative care list. It's good that Bob has not really got very much worse, although he has not got much better either.

Tuo Sun 26-May-13 14:02:05

Kay - Reading your post, I was wondering if you have had any counselling or similar to help you process the abuse you have suffered? I think it's entirely normal that you should be 'up and down' after all that has happened, not least because you are in a better, safer, stronger place now than before, but you have had to go through (and are still going through) so much suffering and uncertainty to get there - I just wondered if it would help to have a 'safe place' to let out some of the negative thoughts, so that you can articulate them but to someone who's not your ex, or a lawyer, or even a friend, but just someone whose role is simply to listen and help you process everything....

Oma - hope you have a lovely day today, that Bob has a nice day too with DS and 'Baby' Rose, and that DD will make it tomorrow...

Dutchoma Sun 26-May-13 20:43:23

I did have a lovely day today and all went well at home, even though Bob got a bit overtired.
Had a text from dd to say she had a raging fever and had to call on friends to have the children, so I don't think she will be able to come tomorrow.

SESthebrave Sun 26-May-13 22:03:21

I'm glad you had a lovely day DO and that Bob had a good time with DS. I'm hoping that one day of being over tired won't cause too much of a problem. Shame about DD.

HadALittleFaithBaby Sun 26-May-13 22:04:13

Hello all. Have been around and praying as I read.

We have DH's cousin and his wife visiting. You know some visitors are just great - if I'm busy feeding they'll make us all a cup of tea for all of us, having the baby for me. She's even given her a bath! I feel like its been a break for me too smile

I saw the doctor. She's not overly concerned - thinks what I'm experiencing is within the norms of new motherhood and sleep deprivation but has got me to do a HADS score and made me book an appointment for two weeks' time with an agreement that I'll make an emergency appointment if I escalate. She also pushed me to rest more. I think now my expressing is much better (getting the hang of the pump now!) I'll ask my Dad to come round and have her while I sleep with a bottle in the fridge if he needs it!

DO glad you had a nice day smile praying your DD gets better soon.

Kay I think it's good that you can be honest here - we can give you feedback and are recognising your progression through this. I think Tuo is right though, counselling might help you process your thoughts and recognise any negative patterns you might be in....

On my phone so can't name check too much but blue I'm so pleased your work situation is changing. Praying for God's guidance and support moving forward.

Praying for PA in her work and relationships. Your contraception story made me laugh! grin

jan13 Mon 27-May-13 07:32:28

hi everyone

ive been thinking about you all and missed u and hope everyone is doing ok.... i caught up a little on the thread but have so much more to catch up! things had been so busy with me - dd got injured for a good few weeks and then i was so busy with my course and seemed exhausted all the time. i feel like im falling away from God. i feel like i can't get to Him, whenever i pray my thoughts go everywhere else and i give up. i am too distracted to read the bible. i don't know how this has happened, but its upsetting me, and obviously im much more unsettled as a result! i don't know how to fix it.
i hope to be on the thread again more often - dd is such a live wire now! much love to u all, back soon and will catch up on what everyone is up to when i can. xx

Kaykat Mon 27-May-13 08:18:29

Hi Jan great to hear from you. Sounds like you have a busy mind, I suspect this happens to all of us sometimes. Has you course work eased off now? Maybe that was crowding your mind a bit.

SESthebrave Mon 27-May-13 08:20:32

Jan - good to hear from you and that DD is doing better. Prayers for you that you will feel God's love and closeness. I often get distracted when praying too but someone once told to start prayers by asking God to help you stop being distracted and that if you are to accept your distractions as prayer since that is what is on your mind.

Faith - prayers for you and Faithlet. Thanks for the support from your Dad and fantastic visitors

Blue - prayers for your Grandad

Kay - praying for you and DS too.

Remembering everyone on this lovely thread - DO, PA, MHD, Lost, BES, Momey, TUO, Amber, GingerCurl and anyone else in need or lurking.

Just wanted to say I'm at Studland Bay today. Right now x

HadALittleFaithBaby Mon 27-May-13 12:23:37

I heart Studland! smile

CharlotteCollinsismovingon Mon 27-May-13 21:50:54

Hi Jan, good to hear from you and it sounds like things have calmed down a bit finally. I often sit down with a Bible on my lap or a view of the garden out the window and say to God, "I'm just going to sit in your presence for a while." And then talk if I feel like it, or not if I don't. Sometimes words are too much of an effort and I often think a thought and say, "That, God." I guess this is similar to what SES just said.

CharlotteCollinsismovingon Mon 27-May-13 21:52:17

Oh, and other times my thoughts seem to wander totally off-topic, but it's all processing and if I'm in God's presence, who knows what input he's having?

Tuo Mon 27-May-13 23:04:07

Hello Jan - it's lovely to see you again. I hope your dd's arm has fully healed now. I am also very easily distracted, and sometimes start to pray only to find that my thoughts have wandered: I like the way that SES and Charlotte have talked about it. I also find it useful to have lists (actual, like on here, or just mental lists, as in 'I've got three things I want to focus on today...') which help me not to go off at a complete tangent. But I agree with the others that sometimes the truth (or our needs or hopes or fears or whatever) is in the tangents, as it were!

Momey - praying for you on your holidays. Wish I had been at the seaside... my DDs are there now, with my parents (my parents live by the sea; I miss it so much), but I am working this week, so am at home. sad

Faith - glad you're getting good support; long may it continue.

I've been out for a lovely meal with DH tonight, and have had quite a relaxing weekend, walking the dog and chilling a bit more than I usually do. Thanking God for my wonderful parents, who have been amazing grandparents to my DDs, and also for my DDs who give me so much to be proud of.

jan13 Tue 28-May-13 14:08:20

Kay i hope you are doing ok, and i am so glad to see you and Charlotte and how you have moved on from difficult situations (even though things r still difficult in many ways) yes the coursework has eased up now but i still feel i am so distracted - everyones comments have really really helped so thank you - i am thinking of the distractions as prayers, although sometimes my distractions seem quite self centered which doesn't help.

thank you for all the prayers for dds arm it is much better now and she is so lively and nothing is stopping her!

Tuo im so glad you got some good relaxation time at the weekend that sounds lovely and that you feel so grateful.... i am also so grateful to my parents and dd - they are all fantastic and im so blessed to have them.

Can you please pray for our landlords not to be difficult about breaking up our contract early? smile

amberlight Tue 28-May-13 19:41:58

Hi all. Still reading through and praying. Difficult day today but many good things, all the same. Could do with a few prayers for tomorrow, where I have to drive to Bristol for a meeting. Finding it all a bit scary.

Praying for you all. Amber is it the driving, the meeting or both that are scary? And Blue how much longer is left in your rental contract? Rental contracts can be broken but I don't know what you are liable for financially.

Can I ask for prayers for DH? He has to get a lot done for college with a deadline date of Monday that is set in stone. I am not doing well with looking after the kids and he needs more time to get stuff done. I'm finding it really stressful as I would love to do it for him. Prayers that he can whip up two essays plus do the other stuff that he needs to without it being awful would be very much appreciated.

I am extremely fed up and have been feeling very cross with God for some time now. It is so hard having given up my life as I knew it to be here. I thought that I would have found my niche here, IYKWIM? Instead I've had a horrible pregnancy which has left me cut off from potential friends and we've been a part of so many churches now that I don't know whether I'm coming or going. Not being able to do anything either through the restrictions of being pregnant or just not being known within churches is really hard. I know that being here is not about me, it's about DH training. I can't help feeling totally useless and a bit rejected by God at the mo. <sigh> Sorry. I know that's selfish. I'm not even convinced that it has helped writing it down.

amberlight Tue 28-May-13 20:21:02

Prayers aplenty for you and your DH, RFALO. I think being cross with God is understandable. Praying for Him to give you a boost.

What's scary about tomorrow? Going to a building I don't know (sensory hazards like flickering lighting can wipe me out in seconds)...to meet people I don't know well (so will have to be on maximum 'communicating in a non-autistic way so they cope') and then getting home again if I run out of brain-energy. I know this is what I do, to raise awareness and make it accessible for other autistic people...but it takes a lot out of me.

Dutchoma Tue 28-May-13 20:38:37

So understandable that you are fed up RFaLO. It is an extremely hard situation . And so hard not being able to settle into a church so there are no people who could lend a hand.
Praying for Amber as well. Bristol is such a lovely city but you probably won't see much of it. Is the car behaving itself again, SatNav and all or do we need to pray for her as well?

amberlight Tue 28-May-13 21:44:32

Car gets shouty about having no fuel..when it does. So that's needing fixing still, yup.

SESthebrave Tue 28-May-13 22:50:01

Especially for Amber for tomorrow, RFALO and her DH and Blue with her landlords & contract discussions.

I'm feeling more positive than I was last week. You know how sometimes, it's only when you're through the other side that you realise that yes, that was a tough few weeks? Well that's how I'm feeling and, as a result, a bit delicate. However I am very thankful that I can say a tough few weeks rather than months/years. Prayers for continued gaining of strength and ability to juggle everything on my plate would still be appreciated.

Grandad not well, apparently he's got MRSA now sad
My poor uncle who still lives with my grandparents feels very upset about it all.

Praying for everyone.

Tuo Tue 28-May-13 23:31:07

Prayers for all, but especially tonight for...

amber - for the trip to Bristol tomorrow; may your car behave, may the building be welcoming, and the people too, may your meeting go well, and may God bless your work, and you in the doing of it.

SES - for strength and patience and the ability to stay calm while keeping all balls in the air.

Room - for your DH's work, and for you at this tough time - as others have said, I think it's entirely understandable with all you've got on your plate at the moment, and that's without the added hassle of being in a place where you don't have close friends or family and where even your church community keeps changing. Remember that this too shall pass...

Oma and Bob - praying that you had another good day today.

Jan just remembered another thing I do when I am finding it hard to concentrate on prayer (I am sure I didn't make it up - I probably read it either on here or somewhere else) which is to use the Lord's Prayer as a guide.

So it might go something like:

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed by thy name [and insert here something for which you want to praise God]
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven [and insert here some difficult decision you want to pray about]
Give us this day our daily bread [thank God for the food and comforts of your life]
and forgive us our trespasses [say sorry for anything you're feeling bad about]
as we forgive those who trespass against us [ask for the strength to forgive those who have upset you]
Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil [ask God to keep you safe and pray for anything you're worried about]
For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory [end by praising God again]

The beauty of it is you can add in all the extra bits, stopping at the end of each line to think about it, or you can just do the bits that seem relevant to you at that particular time. And since the Lord's Prayer is so ingrained, you don't lose your way... Sorry if this seems really obvious; it's just something that has worked for me.

Tuo Tue 28-May-13 23:32:18

Blue - sorry - missed your last post. Praying also for your grandad and uncle and the whole family at this time.

I'm off to a nursing home that is new to me today so prayers would be appreciated. I'm finding it hard since my FinL died which is odd as I'm fine taking funerals but the home which is similar to the one he was in brings it all back.

I think this is the first time I've posted here but I do hold you all in prayer.

Grandad deteriorating very quickly, they might be called into hospital tonight.
Prayers please...
Dear God, if it is his time to go, please let it be peacefully and painlessly!
Give comfort to everyone who surrounds him, that they may know Your presence.

Praying for you and your family, Blue.

HadALittleFaithBaby Wed 29-May-13 21:32:25

Praying blue for God's will, for peace for your grandfather and family.

Hello greenheart, nice to see you! I hope the day went well.

Room it's not selfish to be frustrated by your circumstances, especially such challenging and isolating ones. How far along are you now?

Things are looking more positive here! smile Doctor diagnosed reflux based on me describing symptoms and saying 'Do you think it might be reflux?'! and now she's started on gripe water and gaviscon she seems better, less vomiting and more settled. At points she was feeding non-stop, in retrospect maybe to try to quell the symptoms? So praise God for the changes and long may they continue! I also feel good because my Dad had her for an hour while I slept this afternoon.

Praying as I read.

Blue Prayers for you and all your family. May God's peace wash over the whole situation.

Greenheart Welcome and be assured of prayers. smile

I know no-one is awake there, probably, but an urgent prayer request. I am really struggling with some things. I cannot share in RL because I need to get my head around things myself and I DO NOT want other people's opinions at the moment - I know we will get them whatever happens!! We need to make some huge decisions very quickly. Whatever we choose some people are going to get hurt. We do have a meeting in a couple of hours here which MIGHT make some of the decisions easier, but please pray for God's wisdom. I only want to do what God wants me to do, but if you don't know what that is, which way do you turn? I am going round and round in circles and am making myself ill with what is happening. I am on the verge of saying to God "Here is the plan - if it is not Your plan, then stop it going ahead NOW!"
Please pray, even if the above is all in-coherent and rambling!!! Sorry! blush

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 30-May-13 04:48:05

I'm awake now (hungry baby!). Actually what you suggest Room is exactly what I do - try to settle on one choice in my mind and see how I feel for a bit. If I feel uncomfortable I generally find its not right. Remember that there's some fluidity to choice though. It's not about making the 'right' choice but walking with God.

Bakingtins Thu 30-May-13 06:01:21

PA I'm awake. Will pray for wisdom.

Anyone that can spare one for me? I'm in hospital today to have 4th Miscarriage confirmed (there is no hope but had to wait a week for 2nd non viable scan) then need them to show some compassion and book me for surgery quickly. Faith has taken a real battering. Every time we pick ourselves up we get knocked down again.

HadALittleFaithBaby Thu 30-May-13 06:37:14

sorry meant PA, clearly not that awake!

Oh baking how awful. Of course we'll pray for you. Have you started investigations into the MCs? Praying for you and hand holding too.

Bakingtins Thu 30-May-13 07:18:04

We've had all the standard investigations and no cause found.

Thank you Faith & Baking

baking prayers for you and a (((hug))) and thanks too. It's tough, I know!!! Sometimes it is only years down the line that we can see that God was actually there with us. Pour out your frustrations, pain and hurt to God - He has big shoulders!

Meeting went well, but I think I am even more confused now. I amke a decision, it seems the right direction to go in, then an hour later something turns me in the opposite direction. I know we are told in James :

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. 6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.

I feel like that wave on the sea, so how can I expect to receive an answer? I am told I cant expect one, but I am really trying to not let my loyalty to God be divided. I only want to do what God wants, so how can that be divided? So am I unstable in all I do? I am feeling very emotional and totally unstable today, so maybe that's the answer to that one!

Sorry, another ramble!!!

Tuo Thu 30-May-13 09:06:14

On phone and running to work so excuse brevity.

Praying for Blue, PA, Bakingtins and all...

thank you all for prayers, he's still hanging in there, but it could be any moment/day soon.
Feeling a bit sad as it's highly possible we won't be able to go over for the funeral. I'm sure work will be willing to give me time off, and I could take the girls, but financially it's just not going to be possible with moving house and quitting job soon as well sad
i knew this was going to be likely with moving to the UK, but now it's actually happening, reality of living away from my family is hitting me.

Dutchoma Thu 30-May-13 15:48:47

Blue I so understand that. I love living here, but it was very hard when I could not go to my dad's funeral because it was only a week before the arrival of dd. Then all of a sudden it seems a long way away.

Praying for all, especially baking tins, PA and blue.

It's DS assessment tomorrow morning at 9.30am. It's taken since January to finally get to this point. It's 3 hrs. I think what I'm most worried about is that, just like his School teacher, they'll poo poo my concerns and say he is fine. Please pray I'm articulate, I remember and speak all valid behaviour/ concerns to them and that they listen and diagnose him correctly. Whatever that maybe.

I'm sure this could be a long line of appointments but I need tomorrow to go well. I've come back from Swanage early for it and then I'll drive back down after to be with everyone again. Tonight I'm catching up on washing.

Does anyone have any tips for me, who've been through this process?

<bites nails>

Bakingtins Thu 30-May-13 19:59:55

Thanks everyone. I've been so overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers on mumsnet. Today didn't go well, there is a heartbeat now, but baby is 3 weeks behind where it should be with a very weak heartbeat and obviously not developing correctly. Nobody is giving me any hope of it being ok, but they won't do anything whilst there is a heartbeat there, so we are in limbo for another week. First MC was like this, dragged on for tortuous weeks, and it really messes with your head.
Blue I'm sorry to read about your Grandad, will pray he is able to end his life peacefully. Is going to the funeral alone a possibility for you? It must be hard to be away from family at times like this.

Dutchoma Thu 30-May-13 20:40:41

I don't know whether anybody else can see the advert from the Christian Prayer Centre. Out of curiosity I went into this and the least you can pay to get your request taken on is $5. I have contacted MN about this as I think this is very grubby, but I'm not sure they will be able to act on it.

Dutchoma Thu 30-May-13 20:41:35

Obviously I am continuing in prayer for bakingtin (good to see you here, welcome) and all others on the thread.

Mome praying for a hood meeting tomorrow!

bakintin so sorry you're going through this. I lost my DD2 at 20 weeks of pregnancy and I really hope you can get some certainty soon one way or the other.
Can't go to funeral on my own DD3 would have to come as she's still breastfeeding. Problem is cost really, there is no way on finding a cheap last minute flight or Eurostar, minimum cost would be at least 300 pounds, which we don't have spare atm.sad

cloutiedumpling Thu 30-May-13 22:40:12

Lurking and praying, praying and lurking.

Bakintin - I'm sorry to hear you are going through this.

Mome - I've not had a kid going through that assessment, but would it help if you noted down everything that you wanted to raise on a sheet of paper? Just before the end of the assessment you could read through it just to make sure that you haven't forgotten to raise something. I've done this in the past for medical appointments and have found it helpful, although the odd doctor does roll his or her eyes at it.

Blue - I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. My sister was out of the country when our Gran died and it wasn't possible for her to come back for the funeral. She found it helpful to go to church at the same time as the funeral and just remembered our Gran in her own way. Would that be a possibility?

DO - $5 for a prayer?! They could ask us and we'd do it for free! Sorry to be flippant. I agree that it feels very grubby. I can't stand it when Christianity is commercialised like that. It reminds me of the people selling the birds in the temple at overinflated prices.

PA - Praying you'll know what to do. I keep on meaning to send you a PM and ask to be put on your mailing list for your newsletter. I think what you've done is amazing but I know it must be very difficult when you have family here. Isn't it frustrating when we can't see God's plan?