New Christian Prayer Thread for Autumn - all welcome!

(681 Posts)
Tuo Wed 17-Oct-12 19:46:45

As the nights draw in and the leaves start to fall, it's time to start a new prayer thread. Read, pray, and post your own prayer requests.

Praying in particular, at this time, for...

... amberlight - for her continuing good health, and for her work raising awarenss of ASD in churches;
... Bluetinkerbell - for the last weeks of her pregnancy to go smoothly, for her peace of mind as she prepares to meet this baby and remembers her beautiful Sterre, and for her vocation;
... CharlotteCollinsislost - for her relationship with her H to improve with the help of counselling;
... Cupoftea - for little Beatrice and the whole family;
... Dontsteponthemomeraths - for her new job to go well;
... DutchOma - for Bob's health to be stable and for his appetite to improve, and for continued support and respite for DO;
... expatinscotland - for the whole family to receive all the love and suppor they need after the loss of their beautiful Aillidh;
... FriendofDorothy - for her pregnancy, and for a difficult work situation to be resolved;
... HaveALittleFaith - for her pregnancy, and for various work possibilities to be resolved for the best;
... jan2011 - for her H to be more sensitive to her needs and to those of their dd, and for jan to believe in herself (as we all believe in her);
... Kaykat - for her H to understand that his behaviour towards her has been unacceptable and to respect her wish for them to separate, for their ds to know that he is safe and loved at this difficult time;
... madhairday - for better health;
... MaryBS - for peace of mind and happiness;
... PositiveAttitude - for her family and their mission, for health and well-being, new friends and no rodents/mosquitoes; and for her DD1 to respond well to medication and to feel happier very soon;
... Redwhiteandblueeyedsusan - for her to know peace and comfort following her loss of her dad, for ongoing issues with her children's school, and for her ex to treat her with the respect she deserves;
... SESthebrave - for school choices;
... and for all who visit this thread - regulars, occasional posters and lurkers; those who post and those whose prayers are known only to God.

A prayer of St Richard of Chichester
Thanks be to you our Lord Jesus Christ
for all the benefits which you have given us,
for all the pains and insults which you have borne for us.
Most merciful Redeemer, friend and brother,
may we know you more clearly,
love you more dearly,
and follow you more nearly,
day by day.

Tuo Wed 17-Oct-12 19:47:33

With sincere apologies to anyone I've forgotten. Please check in and add your prayers below...

HaveALittleFaith Wed 17-Oct-12 19:58:21

Hello all, Tis good news - scan showed a wriggly baby with heartbeat! So relieved and happy smile Couldht get accurate dates because of how it was sitting (being awkward already) so going back within the next two weeks. Quite nice in some ways we'll get to see it again!

Tuo I'm glad the tooth has improved, prayers for full healing!

Prayers and blessings to you all.

DutchOma Wed 17-Oct-12 20:24:05

Thanks TUO.
So pleased for you Faith What a relief. How did the interview go?

Sorry I hadn't twigged that a new thread had been created, when I posted on the other one.

Money is slowing ironing itself out as my tax credits start to be paid this week and God has been so good. Still learning lots in this job.

My only addition really is of course Lovely Man. I try not to mention him too much but if he does cross your mind, please pray about the rather protracted court case of his; it maybe Dec or Jan before it gets to High Court. So prayers that it does get to court soon would be good, as it's costing a fortune in legal fees, for a just judge and that a fair contact and maintenance agreement is reached for his DCs would be good. So he can draw a line under this, after 6 years post divorce of difficulties with the ExW and move on with his life.

Praying for everyone!
Thank you for the lovely new thread!
Very helpful having a starter post like that!

Prayers needed for church who still haven't found anyone to cover me for after school club. One of my volunteers has let me know today she can't continue, which means there are only 2 volunteers left and they can't run it all by themselves... we've got almost 30 children on the attendance list. Church will probably have to decide to cancel it while I'm on maternity leave, which would be a real shame...

HaveALittleFaith Wed 17-Oct-12 21:51:35

Oh yes the interview! (Rather took a back seat!). It was fine. Despite the 'informal' sell - and them saying there were only two candidates initially I think there's now 4 - they did it fairly formally noting my responses. I really don't think I'll get it but I'm quite content with that idea. I'm glad I went for it, it was good to have interview practice. I'm content to move to the other ward and see where God leads.

Mome glad to hear money is getting sorted. Prayers that it keeps heading in the right direction and you keep finding your feet with the job!

blue that would be sad sad praying for new volunteers to feel called to come forward.

Tuo Wed 17-Oct-12 22:18:57

Excellent news about the scan, Faith. smile

Momey... praying for LM and for your finances.

Blue... praying for volunteers.

CharlotteCollinsislost Wed 17-Oct-12 23:22:05

Praying with the last of my strength before heading to bed... for all you lovely people.

Good news about the scan Faith and I am pleased you have peace about the interview.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Thu 18-Oct-12 07:41:57

thankyou tuo. . can't spot the typos either!

it is parents evening next week. if I get chance I will discuss the issue then.

strenght to support mum would be good. I have had 2 weekends off which were vital.

ds's consultant visited school yesterday. we go and see her at the end of october. i am worried. (is it/isn't it asd)

MaryBS Thu 18-Oct-12 07:46:59


PandaG Thu 18-Oct-12 07:49:15

I don't post very often, but having seen a new thread started I thought I could read and pray and catch up a bit!

Life chez Panda is a bit stretched right now - MIL half way through chemo for breast cancer, Mum diagnosed with an auto immune condition which is severely restricting her quality of life right now (and may well not improve - she should find out in the next day or 2 what drugs are not contra-indicated), and DH's uncle died very unexpectedly last week after an accident. We're all ok (well I have a stinking cold) but are trying to uphold the family on prayer.

madhairday Thu 18-Oct-12 09:23:08

Ooh shiny new thread, thankyou so much Tuo - so good to be able to read it through like that smile

Faith that is great news smile

Panda I'm so sorry to hear about your dh's uncle, and I am praying for your mil and your mum. What a tough time for you at the moment. Praying that God's peace will sustain you and that you will find all your strength in him. <<<un Mn-y hugs>>>

momey I was actually thinking about LM last night and wondering how things are going, so you are definitely in my prayers.

Blue - praying for the situation with the ASC - hope some more volunteers come forwards, and prayng most of all that it is not stressful for you.

Prayers of thanks from me about how God is blessing the work here in small ways, and just showing us how we need to keep going, that he is's been a slog of a year. Lungs better this morning though a pain yesterday. each day at a time...

CharlotteCollinsislost Thu 18-Oct-12 12:11:33

Prayers continuing...

I'm praising God today for a much better counselling session this week. I'm very good at hiding my feelings, so even if I want to communicate something I often struggle to get it across! She said I was very smiley and she'd not realised how bad things were at home. But she does now. Feel so reassured; last week I'd felt she was attacking me like H does and telling me if I'd only change things would be better. I'm a bit in shock that she realised last week's session had gone wrong/been difficult for me and that we've sorted it out. Don't think I've ever had an experience like that!!

gingercurl Thu 18-Oct-12 12:13:19

Checking in on the new thread. Thanks Tuo. (I spotted one typo. Nothing to worry about though.)

Prayers for everyone.

Came back from Portugal a few days ago and am trying, and failing, to get my head together about work again. Portugal was great. It is probably the most challenging thing I have done physically and I have an ankle that is still giving me a bit of grief as a result, but it was really, really good. It did require quite a lot of physical and mental stamina, though. We met some lovely, lovely people on the way and both felt a bit sad when we left the trail at the Spanish border rather than continue all the way to Santiago. It would have taken us another 4 to 5 days of walking to get there, which is time we didn't have available to us. But... the plan is to go back and pick up where we left off within the next year or two. Then, we might try out the French route, or the route from Seville, or start walking from Sicilly to Rome, or...

gingercurl Thu 18-Oct-12 12:17:27

Argh! Meant to add a smiley after the typo comment winksmilewink smile as didn't mean it nastily.

Here are some more:
winksmilewink smilewinksmilewink smilewinksmilewink smilewinksmilewink smilewinksmilewink smilewinksmilewink smilewinksmilewink smilewinksmilewink smile

newlark Thu 18-Oct-12 19:47:27

De-lurking to check in on the new thread. Will pray...

HaveALittleFaith Thu 18-Oct-12 21:41:12

Hey all!

gc tam hat trip sounds amazing! smile prayers that you get in the mind frame for work and settle back in quickly.

Panda that's a lot of tough stuff! Praying for strength - I'm thinking of the story where Moses prays through the night and the army are only successful when his friends hold his arms up. Think of us as the arm lifters!

Well I didn't get the job! I'm fine about it. Sister was lovely actually. Said I interviewed well and set the bar high (I was first to be interviewed) and only missed out by a narrow margin. I talked to sister on the other ward and she admitted she suggested I moved! I worked there today anyway (someone had to move for the day) and I agreed go there til Christmas smile I'm very happy with that decision. I just feel more at home there, part of the team and to know I was requested clinched it for me!

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Thu 18-Oct-12 23:35:57

pom-poms made. egg free cake made. pink clothes found, lunch made. charity shopp clothes bought and washed and decorated with pom-poms... face paints found.

ds finally asleep after bouncing around like a manic pinball. he is so excited.

CharlotteCollinsislost Fri 19-Oct-12 09:55:54

Wow, bes, all in one day?? Impressed!

MaryBS Fri 19-Oct-12 10:10:37

Am VERY impressed, BES grin

DutchOma Fri 19-Oct-12 10:38:01

Birthday coming up? grin

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Fri 19-Oct-12 12:08:48

pink day at school. he has gone in a dress. his dad is not happy (evil) grin ds on the other hand is ecstatic at going in a pink dress. he chose it himself from the heap of too small dd clothes.

DutchOma Fri 19-Oct-12 15:18:52

Oh bless, I think that is hilarious. I hope there are other boys at school who have understood it that way.

Tuo Fri 19-Oct-12 15:28:57

God bless your ds, BES. Hope he's had a great day.

PandaG, newlark and gingercurl, good to see you all. Prayers for your family, Panda and for your next walking expedition, ginger ... oh, and for swift recovery for your ankle.

We're away for the weekend, just trying to pack (honest... not frittering time away on the internet, honest!), feeling quite stressed by some things that have happened at work, so looking forward to getting away.

Praying for all...

Kaykat Fri 19-Oct-12 18:52:30

Praising God for all the good news on here these last few days.

Prayers for all those still with struggles. I hope you all have a good weekend x

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Fri 19-Oct-12 23:17:04

praying for a relaxing weekend tuo and for work issues to get sorted.

Positively exhausted, after both my children having me up in the night multiple times; my eyes feel hot and dry. Probably compounded by a week of work and late nights.

I really do not want to be a grumpy pants with the kids today but it's likely when I feel this tired. All my ideas to do things and tackle chores seem too much right now sad

madhairday Sun 21-Oct-12 10:15:36

Hope you feel better this morning momey smile

I'm not at church today, dh doing 2 services elsewhere. Feel a bit rubbish, did too much yesterday.

Praying for you all, read through again and prayed.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sun 21-Oct-12 14:18:35

church did not turn out as expected. I am a bit sad / confused

madhairday Sun 21-Oct-12 14:21:00

Are you ok BES? Want to tell us about it?

Feeling battered, attacked on here by pm and feeling rather sore sad

MaryBS Sun 21-Oct-12 15:57:38

What happened MHD???? sad

madhairday Sun 21-Oct-12 16:04:02

It's OK now, I think confused

weegiemum Sun 21-Oct-12 16:05:32

I just didn't get into the last thread, but can I join up again now?

I'm doing fairly well health wise - walked all around asda and did baking today! Mentally I'm also doing a good bit better. Dh however is struggling quite badly with depression at the moment.

Last week we went on a retreat at the Northumbria Community mother house, and it was amazing. We're thinking and praying about joining the community (you don't have to live there) as the prayers and lifestyle suit us very well.

We've also moved church and are now going to our local baptist church rather than the huge city-wide also baptist church we went to before. It's been a good move!

Will continue to pray for you all,

madhairday Sun 21-Oct-12 16:10:04

How wonderful to see you weegie, to hear how well you are doing and all about the Northumbria Community too - have heard some really good things. Glad you've found a good local church too. You have often been in my prayers smile

Feeling so tearful tonight. I feel so lonely and isolated. Please pray I stop feeling sorry for myself as a single parent and start looking to God for my peace and sense of self worth sad

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sun 21-Oct-12 18:26:24

Praying Momey. Are you still sleep deprived? That makes everything seem worse. Praying for peace.

Nice to see you weegie!

PandaG Sun 21-Oct-12 18:28:51

Praying for you Mome, for strength and peace. Know you are precious in His sight. (trite but true!)

MHD sorry to hear you were being attacked, praying for you and your attacker!

Weegie, glad you are happy in your new church, praying for your DH.

BES - praying for you too.

I'm feeling a little disappointed, the family funeral is slap bang in the middle of half term, when DH and I had got a much needed few days away together booked. We will still go away, but spend 1 day of it in the car from very early to very late for a few hours in the middle at the funeral. Really want to be there to say goodbye and support the family, but the timing is frustrating. Not quite the relaxing break I had envisaged. Being cheesed off about it makes me feel a right cow I have to admit...

Tuo Sun 21-Oct-12 19:57:27

Prayers for all, but especially for...
... MHD - So sorry you came under attack. Glad it seems to be sorted now. And praying you feel better tomorrow, healthwise, too.
... BES - Sorry that church didn't work out as planned.
... Momey - Tiredness is a killer, and it's natural to feel down about being on your own sometimes. But you're a great mum and always seems so positive. Praying that things seem more positive tomorrow. Meanwhile... early night, eh?
... Panda - Sorry about the bad timing, but you will feel better for having been there for the family. Prayers that the rest of your half term is restful.
... Weegie - Fantastic to see you, and great to hear that you are continuing to make good progress. Praying for your dh to feel better soon.
... Kaykat - I know weekends are difficult for you. Praying that this one hasn't been too tough.
... Jan - Hope you're OK.

As you know, I've been finding it hard to say on top of work forever a long time, and have got to the point where I've had to ask for some help. I've got one more week to tie up some loose ends, and then four weeks in which I am stepping down from my usual duties in order to complete some writing that I need to get done urgently. It has been very difficult to ask for, and to accept, this help (it feels like an admission of defeat, in a way) but also a relief to have received it. In order to make sure that I don't mess up, and that I do get everything done that I need to do, I am going to ban myself from MN for the next month or so. I will be back, and will be praying in the meantime, so don't think I've abandoned you... but I may not be around for a little while.

amberlight Sun 21-Oct-12 20:31:39

Marking my place in the new thread and praying through

DutchOma Sun 21-Oct-12 20:50:23

Prayers tonight for Beatrice and the Teaset. They are falling apart under the stress and Beatrice is very poorly. Pray to Almighty God that He can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine.

madhairday Mon 22-Oct-12 10:44:14

Praying, DO.

Morning everyone, are you all on half term? I have an annoying situation whereby ds is half term this week and dd next week. Makes things complicated!

Momey, are you ok this morning? Praying for peace and comfort.

blackeyedsusan Mon 22-Oct-12 12:35:49

please pray. more school issues.

parents evening this time.

No MHD not much better tbh. Going through the motions and hoping as the week goes on I'll feel better.

Rds course tonight at HTB, so prayers that I help all those lovely people in the middle of divorce would be good x

Kaykat Mon 22-Oct-12 17:30:07

Momey you are precious to God and to us. Please don't feel lonely. Can you arrange for friends or family to come round a bit more often? I am intrigued, what is rds and htb? It sounds interesting.

Tuo don't go we need you! But I agree MN is a massive time waster.

MDH that sounds awkward, our half term is next week.

BES tell us more, lots of parents evening experience here, good and bad I'm sure.

My H has been trying to be super nice most of the time. He keeps saying sorry for hurting me. I asked him to move out again then I found out he persuaded DS to tell me he doesn't want dad to move out, he feels sad when its just me and him. I am feeling very trapped and confused. I would do anything to make DS happy but I know I cannot bear to take him back. I will be mistrustful and unhappy forever more and I would get my heart broken again the next time another woman shows an interest in him. Talk some sense into me please.

blackeyedsusan Mon 22-Oct-12 20:18:09

you are not hurting ds... h is messing with his head. if he was all grown up and handled it better then it would be better for ds. you can only do the best in the present circumstances... ie h being a twit.

can't say much about parents evening, may be outed.

also please pray as I am hobbling around on a dodgy knee that keeps giving way. I am pondering bandaging a broom handle to it grin

DutchOma Mon 22-Oct-12 20:59:36

I would agree with BES, Kaykat. He is trying to manipulate you through your ds. It's not a very nice way of trying to get what HE wants, never mind the needs of anybody else.

Sorry to hear about your troubles with the school BES, hope you get it sorted.

And sorry to hear about your troubles too Mome, hope you have (had) a good evening.

amberlight Tue 23-Oct-12 08:11:15

Kaykat, your ds mustn't be the one making decisions about your wellbeing. He needs you to be the responsible adult, given your DH has chosen not to be. Children get emotional damage from seeing a parent living in fear or distress of another parent every day of their lives. Separation can give them back some sense of peace...provided one of the parents doesn't make access a weapon to use against the other parent. If so, contact arrangements need to be carefully thought through with professional input.
The person who has caused the harm to your DS is your DH through his conduct. He needs to man up and realise his mistake and get on with his life in a responsible way now.

Prayers all round continuing.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 23-Oct-12 08:32:50

I agree - he is the one who chose to have the affair, he is playing a manipulative game to once again try to make you feel like the guilty party kay. Have you tried telling him to leave rather than asking?!

Back for repeat scan this morning! Hoping and praying baby is straight! (
(Don't want to do the full bladder thing 3 times!).Having the nuchal test too so just praying its all ok health wise. smile Excited to see bean again though!

MaryBS Tue 23-Oct-12 08:53:51

Everyone is talking good sense Kaykat, your H is trying to manipulate you through your DS. Its a rotten thing to do!

CharlotteCollinsislost Tue 23-Oct-12 21:47:40

And I wouldn't be surprised, Kaykat, if your ds felt a little uncomfortable about relaying the message, but wanted to please his daddy and do the right thing. It is awful of your h to involve your ds like this and another reason you should feel you're doing the right thing wanting him out of the home. Prayers for you continuing...

blackeyedsusan Wed 24-Oct-12 07:39:36

morning. one poorly. the othere is not going to be happy to go to school when the other is off poorly.

wonders if... [hbear] works?

blackeyedsusan Wed 24-Oct-12 07:39:57


blackeyedsusan Wed 24-Oct-12 13:32:38

<stares mesmerised>

feel sick. appointment for monday cancelled. ds is now getting sent for an ados assessment instead, maybe before christmas.

I am a bit what the hell am I going to do if he is not diagnosed with autism. what the heck is wrong if not?

he seems a bit more settled now he is co-sleeping and beginning to get used to school, despite kicking off in the shop, kicking at dd and weeing in temper. smacking dd in the face this morning in the car. and attempting to bite me twice this week. (base layer/shirt/2 fleeces means no damage done)

DutchOma Wed 24-Oct-12 15:13:55

That is very dificult indeed. Try not to cross bridges before you come to them. Meanwhile, that is quite bad behaviour, for whatever reason. Glad there was no damage done with the biting.

amberlight Wed 24-Oct-12 16:13:11 the reason that children on the autism spectrum panic in shops, schools and other busy noisy places under fluorescent lighting. This is how it can look to us as our brains get more and more overheated by the sensory input...

amberlight Wed 24-Oct-12 16:13:27
blackeyedsusan Thu 25-Oct-12 14:37:17

dd off school and I am struggling too. had a cold and sinus infection hanging abround for 4 weeks now and am tired having been uop in the night with children and not being able to catch up sleep in the day.

got parernts evening tonight til at least 7.15 then ds has to come home and go in the bath before straight to bed. he is going to be lovely tomorrow! <breaks out armour plating> (he is definitely going to school as they buggered up his parents evening appointment to make it late)

giove thanks for a friend of my mum who is looking out for mums welfare lots and lots of thanks.

MaryBS Fri 26-Oct-12 07:52:04

Hope you are feeling better today BES. How did parents evening go?

Prayers for a dear friend's marriage which is in trouble sad

blackeyedsusan Fri 26-Oct-12 08:15:42

parents evening with the teacherrs went well. not so well with the head.

MaryBS Fri 26-Oct-12 08:50:32

Why, what happened with the head?

DutchOma Fri 26-Oct-12 09:56:09

Your head or the head of the school?

MaryBS Fri 26-Oct-12 10:30:54

I thought you meant head teacher blush

blackeyedsusan Fri 26-Oct-12 12:51:00

headteacher... yes.

weegiemum Fri 26-Oct-12 13:01:41

Praying for you all. Especially remembering the teaset who must be in bits since Bea died.

I've made an appointment at the doctor for ds. He gets migraines and has missed 3 days of school this week. It's getting worse as he gets older and I think it might be hormones - he's almost 11 and getting spotty! He's gone to school today though he had calpol before he left.

Was praying the Northumbria morning prayers this morning. I thought I'd share their blessing with you:

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you wherever He may send you,
May He guide you through the wilderness, protect you through the storm,
May He bring you home, rejoicing at the wonders He has shown you,
May He bring you home, rejoicing, once again into our doors.

madhairday Sat 27-Oct-12 12:30:02

I love that prayer weegie, we sing it at church.

Been really ill this week, proper confined to bed ill. Just up and around in past couple of days, couldn't even face my computer. Feeling week and wobbly after not keeping anything down all week (always happens with my worse infections). Would love to be with dh today who is running a marathon, his first. But stuck in ill yet again. Trying to be upbeat about it all.

prayers and love to all. Especially thinking of cup and the teaset sad

DutchOma Sat 27-Oct-12 14:14:14

So sorry to hear you are ill again MHD. Hope it soon gets better.

amberlight Sat 27-Oct-12 19:45:01

Prayers all round

gingercurl Sun 28-Oct-12 00:03:19

Praying as I read through.

Have to take a break from MN for a while. I spend way to much time lurking on here, time that I can't afford to not be spending on my thesis. I shall be remembering you all in my prayers.

DutchOma Sun 28-Oct-12 09:59:18

And I'll be praying for you Gingercurl I'm looking forward to you reporting that your thesis is finished and accepted.

blackeyedsusan Sun 28-Oct-12 10:36:37

I am off to mums for a day or two. back midweek then off again.

Awww someone has nominated me for Secret Santa. It must be one of you lot <narrows eyes>

Thank you, if it was x

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sun 28-Oct-12 15:10:35

Me too Mome! I suspect a TTCer smile I'm chuffed to bits!

DutchOma Sun 28-Oct-12 16:07:42

And me, I am in bits.

Hehe so lovely ladies! wink

Posted too soon... you all deserve it! smile

jan2013 Sun 28-Oct-12 16:30:26

aw you are all amazing. mhd i am so sorry you aren't feeling well and have been ill all week - big hugs to you.... i hope you manage to keep something down soon, at least take a tonic or something to help you start to feel better its just not nice to get a run of it like that

madhairday Sun 28-Oct-12 16:45:48


so pleased for you deserve it smile

thankyou Jan. I am keeping stuff down now, but not feeling much like eating or anything really. rather down with it all.

MHD Prayers for you and also a ((hug)) You are always so positive and cheerful, but you don't have to be!! God has big shoulders to cry on and is there for you through good and bad. Is DH at home with you or is he away at the moment? Prayers that you will soon feel better and that God's love will surround you and keep you comforted.

jan2013 Mon 29-Oct-12 10:10:04

mhd also thinking of you today... God understands that we are down sometimes and knows all that youve been through and how you feel.... sometimes this is enough to be a comfort.. that HE knows. praying for things to change soon, and that God will restore the things that you are missing out on.... bigger and better things to be coming your way

Kaykat Mon 29-Oct-12 12:43:34

I had the worst weekend ever. My life is a mess. I am lost.

jan2013 Mon 29-Oct-12 14:14:24

oh kaykat... i am so sorry you feel like this... God specialises in messes you know. i wish one of us was there with you... would it help to talk about it? and do you have any RL support? reach out to God and to others... you can be found, not lost, in God... i have to go here but will be praying for you today. do you think if things changed between you and dh you might feel different? sending lots of love

madhairday Mon 29-Oct-12 19:00:59

Oh Kaykat - just to say praying for you right now. You have support here, whenever you need it. So sorry things are so bad sad If you need to talk off board, feel free to pm anytime. with love and prayers.

Kaykat Mon 29-Oct-12 19:23:34

Had a couple of big arguments with H this weekend I am finding it hard to control my anger. He was threatening and it upset DS. The rest of the time he was desperately sorry, says he has realised how stupid he's been and will do anything to get me back, he realises how stupid he was to throw his family away.
I can never bare to go near him again knowing he has been unfaithful and I am sure he would do it again. It confuses me so much when he is nice and lovely, why couldn't he have done that a few months ago instead of giving it all to OW?
He seems to be returning to his faith a bit and that it confusing me too.
I have asked him and told him to leave many times, he won't.
Some of my rl support have their own problems at the moment so can't be there for me so much. I feel like I am ill but I am not I am fully fit its just the emotional exhaustion getting me down.

jan2013 Mon 29-Oct-12 19:46:50

oh hon. i am so sorry... i fully understand when you say it makes you feel like you are ill. it is unbelievably draining when you are continually living with all that going on, up and down like a yo yo all the time. it just sucks everything out of you... its so difficult to keep it all together. he may be sorry, but sorry doesn't fix anything. my dh used to say sorry every couple of days, do something upsetting again, sorry again, and on and on it went. now sorry means nothing at all. sorry should be action. sorry is not words, its action in love, in change, in real repentance which is a 180 degrees turn. did you ever manage to get proper appointments with WA to discuss options?

thinking of you... i hope you can distance yourself emotionally from him in some way to help you get yourself back together sorry you are going through all this

Kaykat Tue 30-Oct-12 08:54:49

Hi Jan a woman at WA was quite rude to me yesterday. Apparantly being held prisoner whilst being verbally abused and him threatening to smash things plus constant unwanted sexual advances is not domestic violence, she told me in no uncertain terms. My outreach lady, although sympathetic did not phone at the agreed time last week so I've given up with themi.
Thanks everyone for your messages of support.

jan2013 Tue 30-Oct-12 10:00:32

they are wrong - and you could put a complaint in but i know that is not at the forefront of your mind right need all the energy you have for what you are dealing with. it is appalling. how can they be giving such different advice and support from area to area? maybe amber or others will have some more suggestions of how to get help. i don't know your situation but if there was any way for you to organise getting a place to rent yourself, and go for it? i know its not at all easy. it took me a long long time to get to that point where i was prepared to do that. but i did, and THEN when he realised i was moving out, thats when he actually moved out.
please keep reaching out for support, even from your church or from anyone you think might understand. sending thoughts and prayers

jan2013 Tue 30-Oct-12 10:07:51

please keep in prayer a family i stayed a few months with in nyc - they lived in lower manhattan and from what i see in the news its flooded. they were told to evacuate and i haven't heard anything from them.

also please keep me in prayer - dd hasn't been well so i had taken a few weeks off my voluntary job - im going back again tomorrow, and haven't properly started yet without assistance... so im quite nervous now. thinking of you all

DutchOma Tue 30-Oct-12 10:41:50

KaykatAs Jan says, they are wrong. Sounds like you need the Domestic Violence department of the police involved. That is very hard to do, but you can't carry on like that.

Praying for your friends in NYC Jan, that is an additional worry you could well do without.
Praying for all concerned, also for Cup and the Teaset, who are all so overwhelmed by Beatrice's death and the process of saying goodbye to her. Today they will leave the hospice where they have been for the past week.

Kaykat Tue 30-Oct-12 11:24:23

To be fair it was their legal dept so probably not geared up for an emotional wreck on the end of the phone but the woman was rather severe. After that and a terrible weekend I felt desperately unhappy. A bit better today, more detached and accepting that I don't think he will change and even if he did I can't get my head around the cheating.
At a push I could afford a small flat in a grotty area but I think it would put me in a weak position especially if I want to argue for the stability for DS to stay in his own home.
Hope the job goes ok tomorrow Jan.

madhairday Tue 30-Oct-12 17:07:45

Oh Kaykat - so sad that someone from WA should speak to you in this way - surely they are trained to speak to people at their most vulnerable time sad And yes that most certainly is domestic abuse. sad I hope and pray that you will be able to come to an agreement soon, it is not fair for you or ds to live like this. I am worried about you as he is smashing things, threatening and making 'unwanted sexual advances'. I think you need to get out, in whatever way is best. I wish I knew what to advise. sad Praying.

Jan, praying for dd and also your friends in NY - also praying for a group of children and teachers from dd's school who are there at the moment, stuck in a hotel in NYC. Horrible situation sad

DO, praying very much for cup and the teaset as they mourn their beautiful Beatrice sad

amberlight Tue 30-Oct-12 19:59:33

Kaykat, as an ex Trustee of a major Women's Aid charity, I can assure you that they were speaking total rubbish. Very unimpressed indeed. So sorry.

Huge prayers all round.

Kaykat thinking of you and praying.

My mum is looking after the kids today as I have no child care. Pray for her? She's not looked after my kids in 3 years. Last time she found it very difficult and you all know her school of thought on discipline. So prayers she enjoys it, the kids do too and there are no frayed tempers and she's not too strict with them. I had no one else to ask as ExH is at work and so am I.

cloutiedumpling Wed 31-Oct-12 11:22:40

Lurking and praying, praying and lurking.

Mum had a good day with them I understand and only had one meltdown with DS.

Thank you, if you saw my request and prayed, as it is a huge relief. So my Dad may still not talk to me but my Mum came and helped me today and it went ok smile

Halloween has so passed my kids by. They haven't a clue what it's about and haven't asked either. SSW isn't doing a light party. I would have carved a pumpkin with a Minnie Mouse face or similar but I wasn't organised enough to buy one and when I went looking for one today, they'd run out. Oops

Wish BT would fix my landline and broadband now. Been without since Friday and it's still not fixed sad

Typing everything on my phone is getting tedious.

blackeyedsusan Wed 31-Oct-12 22:09:44

phone typing is very tedious. I am impressed you managed so much.

I am back fo a day or two before going back to notting ham. I may have to go back tomoow if mum is not ight. she feel today on the way for an appointment at the hospital for a ct scan. nothing broken though is still shook up. she is sore and brruised and I feel bad for leaving her but the children were promised a light party this evening and I would have felt bad for letting them down too. it is quite hard to be stuck in the middle looking after both sides.

I have a bad toothache, the broken tooth has finally decided enough is enough and is hurting now.

dentists soon. I am going to have to cave and take some pain killers.again.

I am just getting more tea. I missed breakfast as the alarm did not go off and we had to rush to the hospital. then we had to wait longer at the hospital. mum was quite distressed. it was had work looking after her when she was so shaken and poorly and entertaining 2 children for 5 hours with little time to pack a hospital bag of stuff to do. ds cam home with a blue ballon... the sort that has 5 fingers. mum as shocked that I pinched a glove, btu after 5 hours I as getting desperate. grin

Kay, you can try and ring the dv team at the police station. they are very quick and take it seriously. I sa an incident in the street and they had responded with in 5 minutes.

Hello all.

BES hope the tooth gets sorted quickly. Toothache is 'obble!!

Not been able to get on to post much recently as the posting seems to be too much for my internet connection to cope with, but I have been reading.

Prayer for everyone on here and a huge wave to everyone too!! smile

Kaykat Thu 01-Nov-12 17:02:20

Thanks all

He's back to being nice again and very very very sorry! Here's what I'm struggling with ATM in the mess of my mind. All advice and prayers appreciated.

When he's nice I still actually enjoy his company sometimes.

He will drag out a divorce and put every obstacle in the way, I know that.

He will cheat on me again if the opportunity arises I have no doubts about that.

When I think of him and OW together it feels like a knife in the stomach.

And the biggy - why should I be hurt even more by having to spend lots of time apart from DS if we separate? I never dreamt that would happen until he was grown up.

blackeyedsusan Thu 01-Nov-12 21:00:06

hello pa.

oh kay. sad

please pray for mum. she is all shaken up after her fall and has got a poorly leg she is really worried about it. she is in a right state.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 01-Nov-12 21:21:22

kay I think you need to remember that the 'nice' act is just that. Also remember the time you have with your son will be time when you're happy together rather than being with him all the time but being unhappy with your H around sad

bes has she seen a doctor? Falls are usually an indicator that something else is wrong.

Praying and lurking! smile

DutchOma Fri 02-Nov-12 07:18:15

Prayingtoday for the Teaset on the day of Bea's service.

jan2013 Fri 02-Nov-12 08:33:23

praying also thinking of each of you and Tea today

Kay just wanted to add that i have been much happier since i separated, much more stable emotionally, can actually make plans with people and keep them, make plans for to do things without having to worry am i going to be able to cope etc, and littlefaith is right, the time i do spend with dd is very happy. its hard at times yes, and i have issues as u know still with dh, but its miles better than living in that. i know its not the same for everyone, i just wanted to let you know what it can be like. i do miss dd when she isn't there, but i find i have so much to do that now i actually welcome a bit of space for myself. im sorry you are in this position...thinking of you

blackeyedsusan Fri 02-Nov-12 13:41:53

just an act is right. things will be happier when things are settled and he is not interferring with your time with ds. you may even enjoy some of the time apart... (maybe)

I am getting ready to go to mums. it is a big effort and a lot of responsibility. I will need a lot of patience.

blackeyedsusan Fri 02-Nov-12 16:06:01

I have now head that she is supposed to be lying down all the time... and that my cousin needs to speak to me urgently.

wahhhhhhhhhhhh... just waiting for the tablets to kick in then we are off.

DutchOma Fri 02-Nov-12 17:18:10

If you need some help for your mum, try her surgery and ask for a referral to the district nurses. They are absolutely brilliant here.

Praying for all.

Not the greatest day at work. A lady I work with, has a strong personality; can be opinionated and rather unkind about our boss (who I've known for years). It got a bit much today and we clashed briefly sad I didn't really challenge it per se, more the fact that she insisted he never responded to certain e-mails or forwarded them on. I wondered if perhaps the general e-mail address worked properly and he got them all. It was rather tense for a minute and I had the shakes after. I dislike confrontation and always try to respect my bosses sad Her attitude and tone was very flippant and aggressive and downright rude tbh sad

Don't even know what to pray for about it. Just want it to blow over I guess? I am finding her rather abrasive sometimes and it's a small office. We need to get along really.

Kaykat his behaviour is typical of an abuser. It's hard to break free, or see the wood from the trees. Everything is clearer in retrospect. One day you'll look back and see it all clearer I promise but right now it is hard to see the wood, from the trees (( hugs))

gingercurl Sat 03-Nov-12 12:36:21

Hello, ladies. Just popping in quickly to report a bit of an answer to prayer and to request further prayers, if I may?
A while back I wrote on the chat thread about a friend of mine who was studying the Bible with some Jehova's Witnesses. She told me yesterday that she is no longer studying with them and that she's just started on an Alpha course this week. (Yay! smile) She's a bit hmm about it at the moment, but has decided to give it another couple of weeks to see how it goes. She also started asking me a whole load of theological questions, which I tried to answer and she asked if I would mind if she asked me some more. I said I wouldn't that and if I didn't know the answer, I would say so and try to find out for her. So could I ask you to pray for my friend, that I might be able to help her find the answers she is looking for and that she hears what God is saying rather than any rubbish I might spout, IYKWIM?

Praying for you all.

DutchOma Sat 03-Nov-12 16:56:51

That really is good news Gingercurl. I'm sure you are secure enough in your faith not to spouut rubbish, but to know when you need to ask aroud a bit.
How's the studying going?

That is lovely to hear Ginger

Have a good Sunday everyone!! smile

DutchOma Sun 04-Nov-12 10:12:16

It's the most awful weather here and it's making me feel miserable.

madhairday Sun 04-Nov-12 14:10:02

ginger, that's wonderful and I am praying, if you want to bat round theological stuff please feel free anytime smile

Oh DO - hope you feel happier now.

Happy sunday - Praise God for his love.

Kaykat Sun 04-Nov-12 17:23:39

Faith and Jan your words have stayed with me. I decided to assess this weekend whether the times with DS and H (every weekend and most evenings) are unhappy times. Well I spent most of the weekend in tears. At times H acted like the wonderful husband i always wanted and said all the right things to reel me back. Then DS stropped about doing homework and instead of backing me up H used it to turn him against me. Lesson learnt. We won't be doing homework when he's around any more. Faith you are right, I could have whole weekends of happy times even if half as many as I do now. Right now all weekends are unhappy.
Jan I can't imagine being happy on those weekends apart from DS. With an older child you just don't get so behind with everything so I don't think I would be busy and would spend the whole time crying and missing DS.
H said he's going to find somewhere else to live and won't come home next week, maybe not at all, like a trial separation but he has said that so many times, packing everything up, only to reappear that evening. Please pray that he leaves for good this time. Then when we get to a weekend apart from DS i expect I will be on here in pieces, begging for help and prayers.

Kaykat Sun 04-Nov-12 17:24:21

Praying for your friend Ginger, and everyone else x

Cuddledup Sun 04-Nov-12 17:30:06

In the past when I've asked for prayers -they have really really worked and I've been really grateful. Today please could I be a bit selfish and ask for a prayer for myself. Spiritually I've been around the block quite a few times looking for a "faith" / belief system and all I've been left with is a pile of confusion. Really I just want to settle down with one. TBH I feel like a kid in a sweetshop and don't know which one to pick. IYKWIM.

So please could someone pray for me to have a bit of clarity! (Last week I popped briefly into my parent's old church at the family mass and almost cried it was so lovely to be there). Unfortunately DH is a dogmatic and vocal atheist, which makes my spiritual quest a little tricky.

(BTW I've name changed as I fancied a change.) THANK YOU XX

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sun 04-Nov-12 17:49:42

Glad it helped with your perspective kay. Praying that this time he actually leaves so you can start to move forward.

Good news about your friend ginger. Praying for the interactions to have impact.

Hello to cuddled. Praying for clarity about the way forward - is your query about denomination or faith as a whole? - and for a radical change for your DH.

We are pottering along here. Bump is growing but I've not gained any weight yet. DH has a job interview Wednesday for something he really wants - he's ready for a change! - so prayers for that would be appreciated.

DO how are you and Bob getting along?
How are things with you BES?
Praying for all.

DutchOma Sun 04-Nov-12 19:31:23

Kay I would really say to you to take matters in ahnd yourself and not be at the mercy of your husband.
If you spend the whole weekend in tears when he is there, when you live in fear that he may come back again, I think that it is time to take matters in hand and get on with the separation in earnest.
Your ds will soon see how the land lies and who is the one that really cares about him.

Cuddledup so often we search for a belief system when all we really need is a belief and trust in Jesus. I sincerely believe that He is the answer to all our questions. If you were nearly moved to tears when attending your parents' church then I would suggest you try and find a group of people that can help you along in fiding a personal relationship with Jesus where you KNOW your sins are forgiven and you are accepted as a precioius child of God.

Faith so glad your 'bump' is growing nicely.

We are ok-ish. Bob lost a crown off his teeth, so we need to make the expedition to the dentist again, which is like climbing Mount Everest as there is hardly any car parking outside the surgery and a little slope to get up to get into it. If we take the wheelchair it will take so much time unpacking it and setting it up and it is too far and too cold to walk there. We have explored all possibilities of getting someone to visit at home and have drawn a complete blank. There are no facilities for elderly people to have their teeth seen to at home in this area. Mad, but true.

We have had quite a boring weekend, the weather has been bad and I've felt really fed up with it all. There, I've said it, sorry.

blackeyedsusan Sun 04-Nov-12 23:13:27

<rattle, rattle>

toothache... wwaiting fo painkillers to kick in sooon. my own fault for not getting it sorted sooner.

have read through and will pray as and when it is quiet.

back to school tomorrow. ds was still awake at 10pm so is going to be shattered. he has had some horrendous nosebleeds... he screams in terror and will not let me hold his nose. even 2 of us could not hold him still/firm enough to pinch his nose as recomended. dd is diifferent. will let me pinch and comfort. I have bought home a loasd of washing fom mums as the washing machine is not balanced and she is unable to use it til I have got it sorted. I may ask h to collect some washing from her on friday/satuday and return it washed on sunday as he works up there and has to drive past anyway.

Cuddledup Mon 05-Nov-12 06:50:19

Thank you all for your prayers and support. smile

DO I hope you get Bob to the dentist swiftly and easily...
Having - my "problem" is I'm searching for both faith and denomination as I can see the attractions of all religions! HOwever, Christianity is what I feel most comfortable with now I'm just not sure which denomination! (I"m baptised RC) This all said I know with your prayers the clouds will clear and I"ll get the clarity I need. Thank you.

Have a good day everyone xx

blackeyedsusan Mon 05-Nov-12 07:35:48

please pray. in agony wwith a sore throat and can't swallow or eat or talk. got a dentist appointment at 10 ish and desperately need to go t

blackeyedsusan Mon 05-Nov-12 07:36:17

to the gp too. ds pressed delete just as I posted. he is poorly too.

BES -praying for you. It could very well all be connected, so hopefully some antibiotics will sort it all out at once.

Prayers for clarity Cuddled . If you felt comfortable when you went to the church could you find one that is like it near you? Perhaps an Alpha course might be a good place to start, too. THis would be with no pressure and a good place to explore Christianity and ask questions in a non-threatening environment.
<just a though....>

DO ((hugs)) prayers that a dentist can be sorted for Bob and you have a much needed "lift of you spirit" today! xxxxx

All going well here. Although I baking hot!!! DD1 has been taking teeny tiny positive steps, so I am thankful for each step, but pleae continue to pray for her, for a new job for her, for her depression to lift, for her to trust God and for her to be happy. many thanks.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Mon 05-Nov-12 09:34:35

Oh bes praying you can see the dr ASAP!

Praying for the dentist trip expedition DO! Hope it goes ok.
bes sounds like you need a dentist too!

cuddled (clearly we have a focus) but if you're searching, I do believe Jesus is the answer! If you like the formal structure, if might be worth trying Anglican too - my sister prefers high Anglican Church but has been to Catholic Church and identifies with that too. Have you been studying/thinking about doing a Bible study?

Glad it's going well over there PA!

I'm off to look at the nursery by where I work (hospital) today - it's starting to feel very real! smile

madhairday Mon 05-Nov-12 12:12:17

Oh BES - praying for ease of pain and a quick appt.

DO, praying that the practicalities work out, could you transfer dentists at all to somewhere there is disabled parking (awful that there isn't) sad

PA, good news re dd, continuing to pray.

cuddled, a warm welcome to you, and I can only echo the others, that our faith in Jesus makes things somehow make sense and come together, give a hope and purpose. You feeling so lovely in your parents' church is most likely God giving you a warm little nudge smile

Kaykat, continuing to pray for you - you're on my mind so much. Praying he stays away now and things can settle down for you. What a horrible horrible time for you sad sending love and prayers.

Faith - glad all going well with you and the baby!

I'm feeling much better after 2 weeks rather laid up, so happy to be up and about again, and got to church yesterday which was lovely. Now trying to catch up on everything I have let slide....when will I get time to get some writing done for this book, it keeps getting put aside...<must stay off MN. must stay off MN.> grin

DutchOma Mon 05-Nov-12 14:06:02

Tha appointment with the dentist was quite amazing. After some initial hiccups we were given an appointment at 11, Margaret took us in the car, Bob got into the building. The receptionist organised for a dentist to come down and use the surgery that his usual dentist uses. What a difference in treatment though: there hadn't been a crown and a new filling was put in without trouble, when I asked about a lining in his dentures they first said to wait for his 'own' dentist, then that it would take three or four days for it to be done, then that there was another laboratory nearby and they could do it today. Dental nurse toddled off with it and it should be back so he can eat his dinner.
I dread to think what it will cost, but with his 'own' dentist we have had nothing but:"Oh we can't do that in your current state of health etc" Such a difference.

Prayers for all, thank goodness that prayer in heaven goes on all the time.

jan2013 Mon 05-Nov-12 15:04:12

reading all whats going on with everyone and thinking of u all...God bless each of you and give you His peace

blackeyedsusan Mon 05-Nov-12 15:13:18

good news on the dentist do.

also been to the dentist and have a temporary filling. got to go back next week fo a real one.

been to the gp got some antibiotics. i am just waitng for them to start working... and trying to wwok out when to takwe them on an empty stomach/1 hour efoe food. i had to wait a while to eat after taking one so stomach emptying will be later and food an hour after that... but at least i have eaten with the aid of paracetamol and ibupofen. i have to get dd after gymnastics soon. i am hoping that the painkillers have kicked in by then.

DutchOma Mon 05-Nov-12 17:06:09

Just picked up the dentures without Bob being there and they don't fit. Either of them. Back to square one.

blackeyedsusan Mon 05-Nov-12 19:31:37

grrrrrrrrrrr DO

DutchOma Mon 05-Nov-12 19:40:06

Yes, I have made another appointment for tomorrow morning, which means I can't do even an hour at the shop as I like to do on a Tuesday. But he could not even eat the chili con carne that he asked for until I had put it through the liquidiser.

CharlotteCollinsislost Mon 05-Nov-12 21:53:12

Oh no, DO, what a disappointment! Can't imagine pureed chili con carne is quite the same. sad Hope you get another smooth, straightforward visit tomorrow and all is resolved.

And hope you're soon much better, bes.

Praying as I read through, especially for kaykat, gingercurl's friend and mhd (glad you're feeling better and got out to church yesterday).

DutchOma Tue 06-Nov-12 14:34:18

Well, we went back to the dentist again (it is amazing how often you can climb Mount Everest) and after a lot of fidgeting the dentures are in. Whether we will ever get the bottom ones out again stands to be seen
Bob says the old fit was more comfortable, but my hope is that he will get used to this in time and without further mountain climbing efforts.
Massive thanks to Margaret who ferried us there and back.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 06-Nov-12 14:53:34

Ah, blessings for Margaret then! Old dentures tend to be looser which in some ways make them more comfortable. I suspect the dentures will get more comfortable as he gets used to them.

I saw the midwife today and she found the heart beat! It was amazing smile DH couldn't come sad but I managed to record it so he can hear it! I think I've chosen the nursery DC will go to when I go back to work (yes super organised!) and feel at peace about that!

Kaykat I have to plan things to keep me busy when the kids are with ExH. I've known people to start hobbies like joining a rambling association as well, if/ when the time comes try and have a friend over or go out is my best advice. It's hard to begin with x

CharlotteCollinsislost Tue 06-Nov-12 23:23:39

Well done for the mountain climbing, DO and Bob (and Margaret), and hope the dentures are soon more comfortable.

I'm having a rough time with H at the moment and am starting to believe what some of you said a while back about maybe needing to leave. It's a scary thought. I've kind of decided to talk to our pastor about it in the new year. Gotta read the book Momey suggested first, though (thanks for you!).

blackeyedsusan Wed 07-Nov-12 07:54:19

oh charlotte


dd does not want to go to school. she is oried about the ork. a lot of it is due I think to emotional overexcitabilities. (first time I have written that on mn and donning the flame proof suit in anticipation) explaining it to the teachers is not going to be easy without sounding bigheaded/delusional

DutchOma Wed 07-Nov-12 09:00:34

What ork??

MaryBS Wed 07-Nov-12 09:08:08

Found you again... just need to catch up...

blackeyedsusan Wed 07-Nov-12 12:16:07

wwwwwww ork

sorry sticky key board.


sticky fingers too it seems!

cloutiedumpling Wed 07-Nov-12 13:13:58

And here was me thinking "is she not a bit young for Lord of the Rings?"

madhairday Wed 07-Nov-12 18:27:42

grin cloutie I thought similar!

lost, so sorry things are bad - I have been wondering how you have been getting on, as a lot of what you said before worried me sad If you ever need to get away to somewhere I'm not too far from you, I really mean that.

We've had a visit from the archdeacon all day to see how our first year of pioneer ministry and church planting has gone. all quite positive really.

blackeyedsusan Thu 08-Nov-12 07:41:42

got a difficult meeting with the head teacher this morning and a slightly less difficult in a different way meeting with the teacher this evening. not looking forward to it.

MaryBS Thu 08-Nov-12 07:45:17

Prayers for both meetings, BES

CharlotteCollinsislost Thu 08-Nov-12 09:35:48

mhd - that is so kind, and I am seriously considering how to take you up on that offer... I want to talk to someone irl, in a good relationship, and with a Christian perspective whom I can trust - and having only lived here for a year, I haven't found anyone to fit that bill. Will pm you once h goes off on his travels again and see if I can pop up while the dcs are at school. Thank you. x

Prayers for your meetings, bes. Hope they both go well.

DutchOma Thu 08-Nov-12 10:48:12

Prayers for those meetings BES

madhairday Thu 08-Nov-12 10:51:00

Please, please do lost - would be lovely to meet you. when is he off?

Prayers BES.

blackeyedsusan Thu 08-Nov-12 12:32:25

thankyou for your prayers. the first meeting went better than expected. got to get my head together for the second meeting and working with the teacher how to handle dd getting upset over the topics they are studying at school.

blackeyedsusan Thu 08-Nov-12 20:09:23

the second meeting with the teacher went really well. phew!

CharlotteCollinsislost Thu 08-Nov-12 23:02:00

Yay! Glad your day went so well, bes.

newlark Fri 09-Nov-12 14:17:35

Have been lurking and praying. Would appreciate prayer as I prepare a talk for an event at church in a couple of weeks - I've done short things before like a brief testimony but always as one of a number of speakers so this is a bit nerve-wracking (as well as being exciting)! Please pray for guidance and wisdom to put the right things in and that it will a real encouragement to others.

Praying for +Justin and his family and for great wisdom for him in his new role.

blackeyedsusan Fri 09-Nov-12 18:22:22

tied and grumpy and I suspect hormonal. everything aches. I am fed up of taking antibiotics and juggling food. (didn't get breakfast) (even though it is better than no anti biotics)

ds is asleep afterr school and needs a bath and tea. and is not going to go to sleep tonight... but was so tired he was unwakable.

blackeyedsusan Fri 09-Nov-12 18:22:39

tired blush

jan2013 Fri 09-Nov-12 20:32:37

hi sorry not been on much, been so busy this week. also tired grumpy and hormonal here. hope ur ok BES

Would appreciate some prayer. very little sleep this week, dd making habit of coming into my bed with teething and i can't sleep. i need to get a new job as im skint, and a new volunteer placement for my course (theres complications with my current one)

and tonight im really upset about something dh said when he dropped dd off - too tired to go into detail but basically just shows how selfish he is and i have been crying and on phone to mum to let off steam about it all...

CharlotteCollinsislost Sat 10-Nov-12 01:18:04

Oh, jan, how horrid that he can still upset you at transfer times. You do sound more confident that it's his problem not yours, though, and I hope it'll hurt less as time goes by. Sleep deprivation can't help!

Re your dd coming into your bed - can you pull her cot right up beside your bed so that she can hold your hand if she needs to and know you're near? Do you think she'd go for that if you tried it for a couple of nights to get her used to it? DS is coming into bed most nights with me, so I end up sandwiched between him and H and haven't been sleeping well. Fortunately, H is going to be away a lot for the next few weeks, so DS and I can have a bit more space!

Have 4 extra girls in the house tonight for a sleepover as DD1 is 9 on Sunday. It has gone well so far, but a very late night for me. And at some point tomorrow I have to stop obsessing about my failing marriage (really has taken over my head) for long enough to write the prayers that I'm doing for the first time in church on Sunday.

Processing what is going on in our marriage, making tough decisions, grieving for the loss of dreams, praying about our marriage, not forgetting the shame or worry on what others may think. Are all big things! Don't minimise it lovely. I've been there and it took 3 years after separation to really feel fully recovered. It's so hard.

Jan my love, I'm lurking and reading. It's tough going sometimes.

Prayers for both of you ladies.

Better week at work with my colleague and DS had a good week at nursery too. Thank you God.

CharlotteCollinsislost Sat 10-Nov-12 08:16:07

I guess you're right, Mome, thanks for the perspective. I'm still trying to blame the problems (if there indeed are any, a little voice inside says) on myself, most recently by saying that if I got on with life instead of thinking about stuff all the time, I'd find things were actually ok. I'm starting to realise that this is not true, though! And am actually believing (most of the time now) that we will separate and fairly soon. But it's much more of a long, hard road than a big leap to freedom!

mhd, interesting that what I've said in the past has worried you - I always assumed that I came across as a bit whiney on this thread!

Right, enough navel-gazing - I have four extra kids in the house today and probably ought to feed them!

Ahhh yes I often accepted all blame and apologised quickly sad

Which book were/ are you planning to read? I think this one is best personally.

Hoping the link works, as I'm on my phone. The kids are rolling off the sofa, giggling. Someone will get hurt. So I better go too grin. I am in awe of 4 girls for a sleep over though wink

P.s. You're not naval gazing x

Actually for me personally, what consumed my thoughts the most. Was my children, the thought of them growing up in a broken home, becoming a statistic and the negative stats on their future, coming from a broken home. When I look back now, can you see the negative labels, guilt and fears I put on myself? (Still do sometimes blush) God is their perfect Daddy and he is walking beside me and making my children whole. He is the author and perfector (sp?) of them and his plans are for good. I shouldn't have ever claimed the above over them.

Just keeping asking God to give you clarity, peace and wisdom for every decision and renewing of your mind, if you feel your thoughts are becoming too negative and of course we're all praying for you x

Praying for everyone finding life difficult at the moment for so many reasons on here.

Just wanted to come on here and scream I HATE SNAKES !!!!!

There, I feel better no.....................

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 10-Nov-12 09:15:26

Beautifully put Momey.

Reading and praying.

sieglinde Sat 10-Nov-12 10:42:20

Praying especially for those in Syria.

blackeyedsusan Sat 10-Nov-12 10:45:55

oh pa... <shudder>

you are doing so well, coping with all the different things... I am in awe!

Charlotte, how did the sleep over go? did you have to manage on your own?

when will he be back? hope yu have something lovely planned for dd on sunday!

madhairday Sat 10-Nov-12 10:52:57

Oh lost you were never whingy, far from it. Hope the sleepover went well smile

PA, urghhh! I'm with you there.

BES are you feeling better?

Praying for you all, especially those going through difficult times with relationships.

I'd appreciate prayer for dd who has had some difficult friendship problems this week - 11/12 yr old girls and their usual really!

CharlotteCollinsislost Sat 10-Nov-12 11:20:07

Oh wow, PA, the worst I ever had to deal with was cockroaches and ants the size of cockroaches (almost) - and that was bad enough. Oh and rats. Snakes beats all those hands down, though!

The nighttime part of the sleepover was quite short but all has been good - they're a lovely bunch of girls although I'd forgotten how silly girls are en masse. They're all still here and H isn't and it's all very happy and peaceful (in a loud sort of way).

We've got church tomorrow morning, then I think we might have a picnic lunch at the playground if the weather's still good. Then Daddy gets home and we're making a special tea. I can't remember when I last had a weekend this busy! Feeling more energetic than I have for a few days.

CharlotteCollinsislost Sat 10-Nov-12 11:34:31

Momey, that's the book I bought at your recommendation. smile Just started reading it and am finding it slow going in a good way - lots to stop and think about for a few days before reading on!

That's good smile

I have calmed down now. We had a garden full of local children playing nicely, about 10 in all, and I went to put some washing on the line and heard a rustle. Once I spotted it I had to try and stay calm and keep the children away without showing my absolute fear myself!!

Charlotte those rat sized cockroaches are awful, aren't they??? <shudders> I could not believe it when I saw my first one!! We also have snails that would not fit into my open hand, too. One has "gone missing" from it's normal place, but I think they are so slow even I might be able to run away from him if he creeps up on me!! grin

jan2013 Sat 10-Nov-12 15:08:16

oh that sounds awful PA i freak out when i see a spider never mind a snake <shudder>

i hope your dd is ok mhd and finds some good christian friends- it can be such a tough age when girls drop each other and leave each other out etc etc i remember that time... its my own hope for dd that she will grow up with good friends around her.

lost thinking of you, so glad to hear how energetic you feel maybe all the girls being there has rubbed off on you lol i don't know where kids get the energy from these days. i hope you get out for a picnic tomorrow.

mum was going to stay over tonight to help as i had another sleepless night with dd and am just feeling so run down. dd has been in great form all day and mum has just picked her up - we have decided mum can take her home for the night. this is the first time dd has ever been away from me for the night! she waved me bye bye with big smiles. she has a great bond with my mum i think her Nana is her favourite person, so i am quite happy about it, although i really hope it doesn't upset her routine. dh has never asked for dd overnight. i will miss her! i know she is in very good hands.

DutchOma Sat 10-Nov-12 16:29:43

Well done Jan, both you and your mother. Sleep tight.

Oh enjoy the sleep tonight Jan. You deserve it! smile How lovely of your Mum to take her and it's great you trust DD with her. That's the most important bit to a good nights sleep, knowing they're ok with whoever they're with x

jan2013 Sat 10-Nov-12 19:02:48

thank you ... they just watched in the night garden together and mum says she is in great form. i miss her but i know they are having fun (although im sure that won'tbe the case at 3am!)

Praying that you have a good night's sleep Jan and that DD had a lovely adventure with nana!

Happy Sunday everyone.

jan2013 Sun 11-Nov-12 07:35:38

hey PA i hope you are good, great to hear from you smilesmile

i did get a good nights sleep, thank you and it feels so so amazing to be in bed having a coffee at this time, a real luxury. and i just got a text from mum to say dd slept IN till after 7, and she slept ALL NIGHT. she is in great form.. i am SO glad as i guess this was a trial run and we know that in the future if i am desperate, it will work well and mum will love it too. but i cannot believe it! what am i doing wrong lol. why won't she sleep here? madness. always the way! im so glad they are having a lovely time smile

DutchOma Sun 11-Nov-12 07:45:02

That was just exactly what I hoped would happen Jan. You are not doing ANYTHING wrong, nor is your mother better at it than you are, it's just the change of scene that is doing it.
We had exactly the same with out ds, aged nearly three who would not sleep through the night until he stayed overnight for a couple of nights with friends when we went to my dbr's wedding in Holland. After that he did it at home as well.

CharlotteCollinsislost Sun 11-Nov-12 07:47:50

Yay for a well-rested jan and her jan-ette! smile

jan2013 Sun 11-Nov-12 08:02:26

oh so there is hope then DO !! lost love it...jan-ette!

Oh wonderful! Your mum must've tired her out wink Actually I think God was just blessing you x

jan2013 Sun 11-Nov-12 08:07:13

yeh God is so good isn't he...he just looks after us so well smile he gives good things to his children smile

blackeyedsusan Sun 11-Nov-12 10:44:43

Glad you got to sleep jan.

off to see mum. she has been ringing relatives at silly hours early for sunday. she has deteriorated and got herself in a right state.

Hello All. Sorry to interrupt but I wonder if you would pray for me? I can't really discuss it in RL. I'm 5 weeks pg with DC4. In the past I have had hyperemesis with successful pregnancies and very little sickness with MCs. I'm not even nauseas and my pg tiredness feels like it is lifting already. I'm fearing the worst...

MaryBS Sun 11-Nov-12 12:29:15

Prayers, RoomForALittleOne, you're not interrupting at all. God bless you and the little one that you carry inside of you xx

jan2013 Sun 11-Nov-12 14:17:42

Hope your mum is ok BES

Praying Roomforalittleone...of course you are not interrupting thinking of you

DutchOma Sun 11-Nov-12 20:01:35

This is just the sort of thing this thread exists for Roomforalittleone, to support one another especially in those matters that are difficult to discuss in real life.
I'm praying for God's presence to surround your little one and you and all the family. Peace be with you.

cloutiedumpling Sun 11-Nov-12 20:47:37

Lurking and praying, praying and lurking (as usual!)

I'd be grateful for prayers - I was clearing out the cupboard under the stairs and found that at the back there is a white cotton wool like growth on the wall. It has grown since February when we last emptied the cupboard to get the pram from the back of it. Dr Google tells me it may be dry rot. I'm hoping it isn't and that it is something much easier and cheaper to treat. Will try to get someone out this week to look at it.

DutchOma Sun 11-Nov-12 21:00:26

Eww Cloutie yuk.

CharlotteCollinsislost Sun 11-Nov-12 22:58:17

DD1 had a lovely birthday today; in fact, we all did. Church this morning was great. And I led prayers at church for the first time and that seemed to go well, too.

Hope you've all had a good day, too.

Prayers for you, Room.

blackeyedsusan Sun 11-Nov-12 23:27:55

i'm back. I'm shattered. have red, and prayed ith the little energy I have left and will update when I have more brain coherance...

jan2013 Mon 12-Nov-12 07:37:20

cloutie hope you can get that sorted lucky you spotted it now.

lost, totally delighted things r going well!

Susan hope things with Mum went ok

dd ack to no sleep so going to ring hv see if she can help

Thank-you for your prayers. I woke up this morning with awful morning sickness. Yay! Thankfully DH took DD1 to school and the little ones are happy as long as I keep playing jigsaws with them :-) I'm trying to work up to a cup of tea...

MaryBS Mon 12-Nov-12 09:08:01

Can't help LOL about someone cheering about getting morning sickness grin

It's not much fun, Mary, but I really can't complain!

blackeyedsusan Mon 12-Nov-12 09:53:20

grat news on moning sickness. I know that feeling well.bloody miserable but a relief as well.

just off to the dentist...

HavingALittleFaithBaby Mon 12-Nov-12 11:10:06

I know that relief/horror of the morning sickness all too well room! Praying for a sticky bean smile

Glad you got a good sleep and DD had fun jan! Whenever DNephew stays with us he sleeps til about 7.30. I think it's just a change of scene for them!

cloutie what a nightmare, hope its easily sorted.

Love and prayers to all.

madhairday Mon 12-Nov-12 12:32:53

Prayers for all as I have read through.

Appreciate any prayers you can throw up for us, a difficult situation and feeling a bit battered here. thankyou.

blackeyedsusan Mon 12-Nov-12 14:28:28

oh mhd... prayers flung.

cloutiedumpling Mon 12-Nov-12 15:04:09

Great about the morning sickness

MHD - prayers

Building preservation people coming round next Monday so I should know then how serious the growth is.

Kaykat Mon 12-Nov-12 16:22:22

Thanking the Lord for my friend and her DP who are searching for answers and doing an alpha course. At the weekend we had a long and interesting conversation and I tried my best (ha ha) to help answer some of their questions.

blackeyedsusan Mon 12-Nov-12 22:16:22

I found something in the cellar at a shared house... the electric meter was in the cellar and going down to feed the meter one day.. I wondered what was behind the other door... floor to ceiling, a 6 inches deep on the walls, white fluffy stuff...

they had to come and spray with some stinky stuff...

how is it going mhd?

Snazzyfeelingfestive Mon 12-Nov-12 23:01:06

Another interruption. I would really appreciate some prayers. Getting ground down by various things that are all adding up. My DH is looking for work unsuccessfully and has had a series of disappointments, the latest today. Associated money worries. I haven't been well (in a low-level way but that I can't shake off) for about a month now and am starting to worry it's something more serious. And I am eaten up with resentment over something and am finding it really hard to let that go - I have prayed for help with this but just can't manage it, I think because I get drawn into feeling bad about the other things going wrong in life at the moment and that sharpens my resentment. Will pray for everyone else with their own troubles on here tonight.

DutchOma Tue 13-Nov-12 07:33:27

Welcome Snazzy. Things really can get on top of you, can't they? I think we probably all know that feeling and it is a really good idea to blurt it all out in a safe environment.
Please feel surrounded by God's grace in every circumstance. On this thread we have many and varied difficulties and very many answers to prayer too.

So you are in very good company grin

blackeyedsusan Tue 13-Nov-12 08:15:09

welcome snazzy

lots of little things can add up to a lot... despite not thinking there is much wrong. hope you manage to shake off the illness.
I am off to get mum today. i am woried about being so far away from school. I am worried about getting back for the children. please pray for me and the car.

also I need to be able to keep my mouth shut and be patient. It has taken a while to learn it with ds... I need to learn it with mum... now.

DutchOma Tue 13-Nov-12 09:39:32

Oh BES that is a big challenge. Know yourself to be in the hands of God, Who deals with big challenges and Who is on your side.

MaryBS Tue 13-Nov-12 10:44:43

Prayers BES. I know what that is like. My favourite biblical quote for such situations is "a soft word turns away anger".

madhairday Tue 13-Nov-12 12:15:14

Thanks for prayers, things did improve greatly smile

Snazzy, praying for you now, particularly for your health situation and dh's work. You sound very ground down by it all, not surprisingly. Praying for a surprise of joy in the midst of it all.

How's everyone? How's Blue ? Or are you fed up of people asking? grin

mhd I'm ok thanks smile got asked on Friday on the school run whether I had a boy or girl had to smile and point at my belly saying nothing yet! grin
All of my family did ask this weekend, I was very inclined to say ooh the baby, yes had it last week, just didn't manage to phone you yet wink
I'm getting a bit anxious, I would just really like to hold this little one in my arms... so prayers appreciated smile

Praying for everyone!

blackeyedsusan Tue 13-Nov-12 13:50:31

safely back home. got to sort out stuff yet, just dumped it in the kitchen and whizz to get children early for a gp appointment.

CharlotteCollinsislost Tue 13-Nov-12 13:52:40

Praying for peace, Blue, and a safe delivery when the time comes. Love what you were tempted to say to your family!

Afternoon All. I'm not sure that I can keep up with this thread. I think that I may just have to stick to praying as I read through. Bluetinkerbell that sounds very annoying and not at all what you need right now. Prayers for people to be more sensitive to you and for a fabulous birth!

I'm trying hard to be patient this afternoon but finding it very difficult. I'm waiting for a call from the Estate Agent who is selling our house to see if a potential buyer has increased their offer to an acceptable amount. It's been very hard negotiating with them but we can't afford the house so it has got to sell. I'm not going to be taken advantage of though! I think I need a distraction and I don't want it to be housework!

Kaykat Tue 13-Nov-12 18:47:58

Hi and welcome Littleone and Snazzy. Blue hope baby comes soon and safely. Charlotte and Jan I often think of you and hope things improve for us all with our relationship difficulties. BES praying for oodles of energy for you, sounds like you need it.

blackeyedsusan Tue 13-Nov-12 22:03:04

we have a referral.... yet another one. (losing track)

CharlotteCollinsislost Tue 13-Nov-12 23:24:43

Do you feel you're getting anywhere though, bes?

blackeyedsusan Wed 14-Nov-12 07:35:14

wellll.... she was refereed for physio and ot, which has helped. ds hassss been refered for toddlerdiarrhoea and asd...he has an ados appointment next month for asdd.. which might mean we are getting there.. his toddler diarrrhoea is still ongoing so I am not convinced it is just that...this is a new thing to be referred for.

need to make some awkwad phonecalls this morning and sorrt out some things for my mum. it is not going to be easy.

jan2013 Wed 14-Nov-12 08:15:19

BES im sorry things are so difficult at the minute - it sounds there is a lot going on.. i hope things speed up with the referral for your mum and pray you have the strength to do everything.... and your poor ds too i hope he gets better soon

Hello everyone. I have been lurking and praying as I have read through. Special prayers for all the difficult relationship situations here. Also for Blue and a special (((hug))) and [flowers] to DO, just because I think you need them!!

I am so excited. Tomorrow and Friday we are going to a Global Leadership Summit and we will be listening to about 10 different speakers, including Bill Hybels, TD James, John Ortberg..... I am so excited it is going to be amazing!! I will let you know how it all goes.

Waves to everyone else, oh and our third newsletter has just been finished, if anyone would like to know more about what we are doing out here in Cambodia just PM me!! smile

blackeyedsusan Wed 14-Nov-12 12:20:08

jan... dd as referred to the clinic.

mum is poorly. she has cryed on and off all moning..

CharlotteCollinsislost Wed 14-Nov-12 12:25:27

Your poor mum, bes. And it must be so draining for you to have someone else to look after and worry about. Where do you go for support when you need it? (Unintentionally sounding like a Bible verse - I meant humanly speaking as we all need a shoulder to cry on now and then!)

blackeyedsusan Wed 14-Nov-12 13:29:38

have you not noticed soggy shoulders?

playground mums and you lot is about it. h is a bit of a help though mil is really ill. I have prebooked a nervous breakdown for when ds leaves home!

CharlotteCollinsislost Wed 14-Nov-12 14:21:02

grin Love it! Yes, this place is a good refuge, isn't it?

madhairday Wed 14-Nov-12 19:08:32

PA that sounds great, I'm jealous! Can you fb me a copy of the newsletter, I'd really like to have a read smile

BES - praying things calm down a bit for you soon.

Snazzyfeelingfestive Wed 14-Nov-12 23:02:21

Thanks everyone for the welcome. I have been to the doctor's today, got a new prescription, and have given in and taken the rest of the week off work so hope that will knock my illness on the head. Unfortunately DH seems to be coming down with something now!

Prayers for DH's job situation and in general much appreciated. Praying for you all tonight but especially for blackeyedsusan and for Bluetinkerbell and the forthcoming baby.

Hi MHD, I don't know how to send it via facebook, could you possibly PM me your email address? Thanks.

Up early for an early start. <waaaaayyyyyy too early, why do things here start at 7am!!! It finishes at 6.30 tonight, then all again tomorrow!!>

blackeyedsusan Thu 15-Nov-12 07:36:10

ouch... pa, 7 am..


i was up twice in the night and |I am a bit shattered

blackeyedsusan Thu 15-Nov-12 11:15:44

ho is it going? I am sitting in the corner dribbling... tooth is done... just got to behave and give it time to harden so no eating or drinking!

CharlotteCollinsislost Thu 15-Nov-12 12:30:56

PA - thinking of you at your amazing conferency thingy. Sounds brilliant!

Please pray for me. I want to leave my h. Things have never been right; he's always treated me badly and I've accepted it; thought I couldn't do anything else. Have tried but failed to get him to improve. I've normalised it to the extent that I have a hard job seeing what's bad and what's normal relationship problems, but the clarity is coming gradually.

Anyway, to get to the point (all that is just summary of what's been said before), I have seen a house that looks brilliant for the dcs and me. I don't know if I can afford it, because I have lost all confidence with money matters, and I am having a wobble about whether this is really the right thing to do. But I would so love to be in that house come January (when it's available), rebuilding my self-worth away from him.

I think I need prayer for clarity, peace, support and some help with practicalities! It seems that this place has appeared just at the right time - is it a gift from God? I hope so.

blackeyedsusan Thu 15-Nov-12 12:48:08

that is a big statement charlotte. prayers for you. for clarity for the way forward.

amberlight Thu 15-Nov-12 14:11:23

still praying but away at the mo. Back Saturday. God is good for giving me this chance to visit the Holy Lands.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 15-Nov-12 14:41:55

Afternoon all. If I seem hazy, I'm just waking up after nights!

Wow Charlotte, that sounds like a but step but a positive one for you. Could you go to CAB for financial advice? Praying if it is the right house it all comes together in his timing,

mhd praying for peace in a difficult time.

Sounds like a tough time for you BES. How is your Mum today?

PA have a wonderful weekend! Sounds fantastic!

blue praying for a smooth birthing process and that its all worth it! smile

I'm delighted to say DH got that job he went for so thanks for any prayers! smile he is really pleased, he desparately needs a change. He's also got a significant pay rise which is great because I recently changed roles so an earning less. I may be able to have a longer mat leave now! So we're delighted smile

jan2013 Thu 15-Nov-12 15:20:27

reading and praying.

Charlotte... praying for you in your difficult situation, there is hope for the future

Faith that's great! Love how God works the finances out every time smile

Charlotte you maybe eligible for extra tax credits and perhaps rent relief type help from the council. I'd definitely have a look in entitledto and put in your income without H's and have a look see. Also speak to CAB it sounds perfect smile

Praying for everyone!

Would like to ask for prayers as I think I'm in labour... Midwife is coming over to check me out... smile

madhairday Thu 15-Nov-12 19:00:17

Oh goodness - much to pray for here

Lord, we lift up lost to you and ask for your wisdom, guidance and reassurance as she looks at next steps. We pray you will surround her with your love and help her to know your Holy Spirit with her. May she find comfort and peace in you at this difficult time.
We pray for Blue right now in possible labour. We pray for a safe and lovely delivery, and for your calm and peace upon her as she labours. Amen

jan2013 Thu 15-Nov-12 20:06:35

oh blue! how exciting! thinking of you...God is with you now

blackeyedsusan Thu 15-Nov-12 21:49:19


(runs several lapsround living room)

what mhd said^

oh and thank God that by some miracle mum has put on 2 lb in 24 hrs on the scales if not actual.. and has not lost anymore... sheis convinced she is not going tolast til next week to see the dr as she has lost so muchweight . she has been for a scan already... just waiting results. got to go and look at post at her house and check.

I have had a filling but am still a bit sore as there was lots of drilling and filling and a sore injection... and I did notget to eat any lunch after not as much breakfast as I hoped and soft food all day so a bit hungry grumpy...

jan2013 Fri 16-Nov-12 08:59:17

oh thats great BES your mum has put on some weight.

excitedly waiting for more news from blue...

thinking of you lost...

thinking of each of you...

im going demented with dds sleep here. the pastor is meant to be calling round this morning, and ive been up half the night and keep wanting to cancel... pray for the right thing to happen this morning! if he comes i need to get out to the shops soon as theres no nice biccies in (and no milk left...)
i could do with the support but im too tired and it makes me nervous if you know what i mean

Lotta Beatrice born at home at 2.10 am. All is well just exhausted! smile

HavingALittleFaithBaby Fri 16-Nov-12 12:06:27

Wonderful! grin congratulations!

Praying for energy jan and that the the pastor visit helps.

cloutiedumpling Fri 16-Nov-12 12:13:58

Huge Congratulations Blue. What a lovely name.

Prayers for all. I'm worried about the mouldy patch I found under the stairs. The last owners had damp works carried out and I found the receipt for them - they were over £10,000 and that was about twelve years ago!

DutchOma Fri 16-Nov-12 12:15:59

How lovely, Blue, huge congratulations.

jan2013 Fri 16-Nov-12 12:26:48

wow congratulations blue!! so glad for you smile smile

CharlotteCollinsislost Fri 16-Nov-12 12:37:30

Congratulations, Blue, such good news.

blackeyedsusan Fri 16-Nov-12 18:04:19

congratulations blue.b what a lovely name too.

MaryBS Sat 17-Nov-12 07:54:37

Congratulations Blue smile

Hope your meeting with the Pastor went well Jan. I hope you got some peace from it.

Hope your tooth has settled down now BES, great news about your mum smile

I'd better write my sermon, I've got to be ready to deliver it in 25 hours!

Oh wow! Huge congratulations Blue grin

jan2013 Sat 17-Nov-12 08:11:13

The meeting went ok with the pastor... i just think he is trying to reconcile us. he is going to talk to dh and see where he stands (if he is going to sort himself out) and get back to me. i guess i will be under pressure to get back with him should he decide to do all the right things. i had a bad weekend with dh and texted the pastor to say all my instincts say don't get back with him, and the pastor texted back to say don't do anything rash yet, let things settle a few days. i guess that sounds the sensible thing to do but in other ways i get the feeling he just wants things to work out.... i wonder how he would feel if it was his dd?

'Show me the way i should go , for to You i lift up my soul'

'i have loved you with an everlasting love, i have drawn you with lovingkindness, i will rebuild you and again you will be rebuilt'

A lot of Church Pastors do this, of course, marriage is an important institution and God hates divorce but no one should remain in an abusive marriage, whether verbal or physical. I think you should lend your pastor some books to read wink grin

Remember he cannot make you stay together but it's so so hard, as if they (the Church) do not support you, it makes you look like the bad person, if you still walk away. Perhaps a change of church maybe an idea, depending on how things go in the next few months? You need supportive people around you lovely x

Has your Pastor heard of Restored Relationships btw? It's a fairly new Christian Organisation set up to help equip and promote Churches to encourage healthy relationships and stop violence against women.

Some Churches despite clear dv, still encourage a couple to do a Marriage Course, which is clearly not the answer in that situation, among other things.

I do hear some very strange things helping on the divorce course at Church. As people travel far and wide to attend it.

madhairday Sat 17-Nov-12 10:13:15

Oh Blue congratulations! So pleased, and what a lovely name smile smile smile

Praying for you jan. Agree with what Mome said.

How are Kaykat and Lost, you've been on my mind.

jan2013 Sat 17-Nov-12 10:48:46

Mome... DO suggested moving closer to mum too and i could go to their church. you know it is an idea... but moving away from here comes with so many problems too - where i am now i have friends, i have free kids classes, i have my college course. i couldn't do without all these, and i do love my church, but it is getting increasingly hard to go to with all thats going on, not to mention that my church is massive and i am not the most confident person especially now with a lively toddler to manage. its so hard knowing what to do....someone during the week said, the more i go the easier it will get. if that was true, and i could feel settled in my church, i KNOW it would be worth it as my church really is great. but i would have to get to that stage.

i do have some book recommendations to give to the pastor. i just don't have any extra funds right now at all. my church has more than one pastor, and it would need to be all their attitudes which change. they would really need a training day or something. i think the only thing that is going to change peoples attitudes is more awareness, or if one of their family went through it.

i might send the pastor the link to that website restored relationships it looks good. i think part of the problem is he doesn't get it. he doesn't think my dh really is abusive. he knows him and has spoken to him. and when i told him again yesterday i believe he has been emotionally abusive towards me, that i have a book about angry and controlling men and he nearly ticks every box - the pastor laughed and said 'im sure i did as well in the first year of marriage'

sigh. sorry for this massive post. did you find your church was sympathetic mome or did you move in the end?

Well my H wasn't abusive, he had an affair and refused to attend marriage counselling and wouldn't end it with the OW, so I had my pastors full backing to divorce him.

This is why I worry for you, as even though I had his blessing, I still felt an outcast, ashamed of being divorced and struggled at church every week, I felt very alone at times, still do. My Church is massive too.

Try not to worry too much about logistics, God can help you take care of all of that, if/ when the time comes. He's more than capable of making it all slot into place. Keep taking it one day at a time right now and seeking God x

jan2013 Sat 17-Nov-12 11:01:36

oh that must have been such a truly awful situation to be in. yeah it is so hard to go to church... and hard even walking in to a big church like that! and cos a lot of people still don't know, they ask how he is, or you can see them thinking where is he.

youre right God will sort it all our thanks x

CharlotteCollinsislost Sat 17-Nov-12 11:03:33

That's really not a helpful response, is it? So dismissive. Send him the links to the books as well - not up to you to spend the money on his library. <sigh> Hope you get some progress. Sounds like he thinks things will settle in a few days - but it's more likely to be years, really.

I'm ok. Reading a great book this morning - h is SO a narcissist. Seriously personality disordered. Book was hilarious - good tonic!

SESthebrave Sat 17-Nov-12 13:14:33

Hello all.

Forgive me for being AWOL and sneaking back in. RL has kind of taken over and when I do get online, FB tends to be my first port of call.

First things first though.... Blue - congratulations!!! I am so pleased for you and look forward to hearing more about your new little one.

Lost - following a MN thread, I'm convinced my mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder so I sympathise. Praying for you for your future plans and affirmation.

Jan - If I may be so bold, that response from your pastor lacks any understanding or support. It sounds like you think the church is a good enriching one generally and that you have lots to think about and pray about in the coming weeks. I'm praying for you too - that you will continue to feel God's love and guidance.

Mary - prayers for your sermon writing

cloutiedumpling - prayers for the mould patch, that it doesn't develop.

Hello to everyone else - MHD, DO, Mome, BES, PA, Faith, KayKat and anyone else I've missed.

Things are good here. DD is 5mo now and a really happy content little girl with a brother who is very protective of her and loving towards her. I am very lucky.
I started my online course (Catholic Certificate in Religious Studies) and am finding it very interesting - the content and also the discussion forum boards. The module this term is the New Testament and it is really helping me to see the NT in a broader perspective and understand more why the books were written and who for.
Having a bit more online time today (hence catching up on here) as I seem to have hurt my lower back. It's pretty bad as I can't really pick up DD or do much at all really. I'm trying to be sensible and rest it but would appreciate your prayers for rapid healing as I'm not very good at not doing much!

Ohhh SES I saw about your back on fb, you poor love. Do you have a nice McTimmoney Chiropractor you can see?

Congratulations Blue I love the name too. Enjoy your new born snugggles!!

Jan your pastor sounds as if he needs a kick up the proverbial!! Is he young and inexperienced? Or is he ancient and set in his ways? I can see a pastor trying to help a marriage that is in difficulties, but he should also be there for you and support you through this time that has surely gone beyond that. Perhaps he has not grasped how far this has gone and how long you have been putting up with this all for. Prayers for the right people to come alongside and be that Godly support for you at this time. ((hugs))

Global Leadership Summit was amazing, but also exhausting. lots of challenging talks and it gave us loads to mull over and discuss between me and DH.

Please pray for us as we mull over a few things here and see what God wants us to do. Something really exciting could be happening soon. I so want to share this with you, but I have to keep quiet for just a little bit longer, but so many things have happened over the past few weeks to convince us that this is so totally of God.
Really excited about church tomorrow. A few God inspired conversations and we have one family and two young ladies coming along tomorrow for the first time. I cannot believe how open people are here to knowing more about the Gospel. They are so eager to know more and to investigate and ask questions. No embarrassment and no hiding, just open conversations wherever you are.

Waves to everyone. smile

jan2013 Sat 17-Nov-12 13:32:47

oh PA this sounds exciting. can't wait to hear more...! sounds like God is on the move!

thanks everyone for all the support. wish people in rl could understand more!

SES im so sorry about your back. it must be a bit of a nightmare trying to cope with your dc without lifting them especially at that age... i hope you are ok... and the online study sounds awesome, what a fulfilling way to spend your time.

SESthebrave Sat 17-Nov-12 13:43:05

Oh PA - that does sound good and very Holy Spirit inspired. Praying....

Thanks for sympathies with my back. At least DH is around today and can pass DD to me for feeding. If no better by Monday, I will look into a chiropractor or osteopath. My cousin is a physio and has said she may be able to pop by tomorrow morning and have a look.

SES I x-posted earlier and didn't see your post. Prayers for you back pain to ease.

jan2013 Sat 17-Nov-12 17:11:13

oh my gosh. 47 children died in the rail crash in Egypt - Lord God undertake - comfort, bring help and support to all involved... how devastating

ZipadiSoozi Sun 18-Nov-12 14:58:34

jan - indeed loads of prayers for the poor families and children xxxx

blue - congratulations on the safe birth of you precious daughter xxxxxx

blackeyedsusan Sun 18-Nov-12 21:56:52

jan, not all pastors have an understanding ofabuse. I will see if I can find a link later/tomorrow, if the memory cells hold up!

I have left mum at home. she is feeling a little worried and confused buit not as bad as she was. you could pray for patience as I am tired and lost my temper with her a bit as I am struggling to come to terms with her being so helpless. i have had a caring role dropped on me with little warning. I will need to ring her several times a day to see if she is remembeing to take her tablets... she is fine when she sleeps, she is toatally confused when she does not sleep much. this is the problem. got to get her through the worries and help her to sleep... so she can recover.

Tuo Mon 19-Nov-12 01:53:08

Hello all. I'm not really here... busy writing. Have finished one thing, written another lecture from scratch and gave it on Friday, and have one more chapter to finish in the next week or so if possible. Wish me luck!

Anyway, on the way back from giving my lecture up in Scotland I missed a train connection and was messing around on my phone while I waited for the next one and saw the fabulous news about Bluetinkerbell and baby Lotta Beatrice, so I had to pop in and post. Many many congratulations and prayers of thanks for her safe arrival. May she have a life full of happiness and love, and may she bring happiness and love to all around her. I am so pleased for you, Blue.

Praying for all, even though I'm not here. Especially for those with relationship problems, for those who are unwell, for those who are caring for others who are unwell, and for all who need prayers right now.

Tuo Mon 19-Nov-12 02:02:46

PS if you can spare a little prayer for a scary work meeting tomorrow morning that would be very much appreciated. In fact, I'd better go to bed, or I'll be fit for nothing in the morning.

blackeyedsusan Mon 19-Nov-12 07:33:48

prayers tuo

i was up til silly o clock sewing spots and pom-poms onto fleeces for our schools delayed spotty day.

General synod of the Church of England is meeting to decide on the issue of women bishops this week. The legislation isn't perfect but it is probably as good as it is going to get.

It is going to be a hard week for those who care passionately about both sides of the debate and I'm praying for good discussions and debate.

Abitwobblynow Mon 19-Nov-12 07:41:44

Hi, I want to add a difficult prayer in which I pray for wisdom - to know what I am responsible for and what I am not responsible for. I really struggle with this, and also what God wishes for me - whether to suffer in a marriage for the sake of the children (he will never change) or whether to say 'Life wasn't meant to be this joyless' and to not fear being alone.

It is hard, and I ask for your prayers in this.

Abitwobbly welcome. You are amongst friends here and you are joining people who you might well find have a lot of wise words having been through similar, or going through tough times now. Stick around and we will pray, hold your hand and support in any way we can. smile

TUO praying for you and everything you are doing at the moment.

TGHOMR prayers for this important meeting today.

Please pray for us here. DH and I have got our first dodgy tummy since being here, just on the very day that we should be going into work more and getting stuck in! Grrrrr!! Dh has struggled in, but I am feeling like a wet rag and have stayed at home. <wimp emoticon> (within a 2 second dash of the toilet) Not sure what from as we have all eaten the same but DS and DD4 are fine! confused Not pleasant, believe me!! blush

Many thanks. I hope all newsletters have arrived. Let me know if they haven't as emails are sometimes a little unpredictable.

CharlotteCollinsislost Mon 19-Nov-12 10:46:17

Enjoyed your newsletter, thanks PA.

Hi, Abitwobbly, nice to bump into you again! Will certainly pray for you - please pray for me too as we are in similar situations, I think. smile

Finally got through to the landlord about that house I was interested in - it's not available to people with children. So that's a door most definitely closed. Back to waiting for God's leading, I think.

DutchOma Mon 19-Nov-12 10:57:24

Welcome Abitwobbly.
God does promise wisdom to those who ask for it, so I'm sure your,and our prayers will be answered, although the answers you get may well throw up their own problems.
Try and take some time to listen in the quiet and I'm sure I speak for all of us if I say that we will help you evaluating the answers you get.

blackeyedsusan Mon 19-Nov-12 11:21:19

hello a bit wobbly and green heart.

wobbly, it depends I suppose what you are suffering. there is a whole range of behaviours and the line of what is acceptable/not acceptable can be a bit blurry. while it is good to stick in a marriage and ty to make it wok, there is also a point where it has to be given up on. are you able/willing to say what is happening? or perhaps rerad back though some of the otherr prayers on this and previous threads as ther are a fewexamples of stuff going on in several different mariages of regualrs on here. that may help you.

gingercurl Mon 19-Nov-12 12:13:28

Hello everyone. I'm not really here. Too busy working on my thesis. I'm just popping in asking for prayers of my sister. She has just called me to let me know she is in A&E with heart problems and they have decided to admit her.

Big congratulations to Blue on the birth of her little girl. Thank you God for a safe delivery.

jan2013 Mon 19-Nov-12 13:26:47

oh no ginger..hope she is ok

PA hope you feel better soon

thinking of each of you

just back from doc after a bad night... dd has tonsilitis and a throat infection sad

cloutiedumpling Mon 19-Nov-12 13:38:38

Praying for all. I hope your sis is OK Ginger. That must be pretty scary for her. Praying also for those with relationship problems.

We've had a surveyor out this morning and it turns out the dodgy area in the cupboard is rising damp not dry rot. Good news, as although it will cost a bit to fix it isn't going to be a major piece of work. Prayers of thanks here, although it does seem a bit odd to be thankful for rising damp!

SESthebrave Mon 19-Nov-12 13:42:58

Jan - poor DD but hopefully now diagnosed and with ABs, she'll start to improve

Ginger - praying for your sister

Lost - well I guess that's a clear answer on that property. Praying for another solution soon

PA - praying for quick relief from your tummy bugs

ABitWobbly - tough decisions for you. Praying for wisdom.

GreenHeart - definitely important that we all pray on this important discussion

TUO - prayers for your scary meeting

BES - not easy with the situation with your mum.....praying

My back is a little better but still constantly painful so I'm seeing the GP later.

DutchOma Mon 19-Nov-12 14:15:01

Well, yes, let's give thanks for rising damp. smile The Lord will be glad to hear us.

He will also hear our prayers for healing for clarity on marriage issues and everything else we are prepared to lay at His feet.

Our reading this morning from Jeff Lucas was about Jesus asking:"What do you want me to do for you" (in the context of blind Bartimeus), and he said that sometimes we ask for the wrong things, but sometimes we don't ask at all.

Cupofteaplease has been much on my mind in the past week as she is finding it very hard to come to terms with her darling Beatrice's death.

Oh abitwobbly I thought you were separated and divorcing sad I got the impression he'd committed adultery and things were over, from other threads. Bless you for helping others, when you still sound in the midst of it yourself. Prayers for you x

Oh Jan your poor dd but hopefully with good antibiotics she'll improve and sleep better smile

MaryBS Mon 19-Nov-12 15:23:43

We were talking about being thankful at the bible study today, and I reminded everyone about Corrie Ten Boom's sister about "being thankful for the fleas" grin

Kaykat Mon 19-Nov-12 18:16:41

Hi everyone and huge congratulations to Blue.

Hi Abitwobbly, God loves you and doesn't want you to suffer and your suffering wont benefit your children. Was your H unfaithful? If so I know your pain, my H was unfaithful to me.

Jan, some of our church contacts are starting to get involved, offering councelling etc, and we haven't even been to church for several years, I don't know if they will put pressure on me to take him back, but if a pastor admitted to me he had effectively been abusive to his wife in the first year of marriage I wouldn't want to take any further advice from him.

Charlotte, that's a shame about the house, I have huge admiration for your strength in making the decision to leave. My h now only comes home at the weekends and on weekdays I find that my mind is clear and I am content, I think you will feel like this too if you manage to make the break. At the weekend my mind is a fog of confusion.

I don't think there is any way I will ever be able to live with the thoughts of him and OW sleeping together. Neither can I trust him not to do it again if another woman is interested in him one day. Our 'relationship' now bears no resemblance to the past 20 years. He has no control over me any more, none of his tactics work any more. I immediately challenge any unreasonable words or behaviour and he apologises and puts my wishes first. If he had done all this and not cheated he would have been a great husband but its all too late now. Emotionally I am detached from him and that make me feel strong. My weakness I think you all know is my DS. The prospect of lots of time apart is not something I expected to face for a few more years.

Praying for everyone else, sorry for only focusing on the relationship issues, all of your other issues are in my heart too.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Mon 19-Nov-12 21:14:45

Hello and prayers for all. I'm on my phone so I'll struggle to name check everyone but I will try. I sense a theme of sickness/illness so I will pray for health and wellness!

PA I hope it's just food or a bug that settles quickly so you can throw yourselves into work.

ginger praying for your sister and jan for your DD.

charlotte clearly it wasn't meant to be but He definitely has a plan for you - praying its revealed.

Thank The Lord for rising damp smile

kay if I were you I'd read your last post back and reflect on how far you've come. You sound quite different and much more confident about what he can and can't say to you. Stick with it smile

I am well - busy at work and continually growing but nothing much happening our end (which is like a lovely reprieve!). Prayers that the loss adjustor will provide final payment to our builder would be appreciated then the whole incident with the house fire can be put to rest.

Tuo Mon 19-Nov-12 22:13:26

Thank you all for your prayers. The scary meeting went better than I had hoped, and I felt strong and in control. Back to the writing now! Please pray that I can finish the chapter I need to write in the next week. It will be hard, but I am really committed to doing it.

Praying for all here and especially for those with relationship problems. You are very welcome here, Wobbly. As you've seen, there are people here who know what you are going through, and can offer sage advice. The rest of us can offer our heartfelt prayers. (Kaykat... I thought exactly what Faith has written - you have come a long long way!)

Praying for a swift recovery for PA and MrPA.

And thanking God for rising damp.

Abitwobblynow Tue 20-Nov-12 06:58:39

Hi all, although it is not really well understood by MN (for good reason, I should be on my own), with a strategy laid out by my IC I must stay and suffer a bit longer whilst I squirrel away ££££.

He is not a bad man, he was very wounded by trauma and misguided Catholic shaming as a boy, and just will not let go of those defenses. he can never be vulnerable, which would be what admitting his faults to me/hearing that I have a point would make him. Instead it is my fault etc. He is passive aggressive so it is the drip, drip of hidden anger (which is what an affair is) and sulking that I have to deal with.

I said to him once, the trouble with you is that you are Godless. Please know that He knows everything about you! He knows every little thought, what you have done, what you are still going to do - and he still loves you! You are NEVER alone. And, with that complete love and acceptance, know you can go into the dark places and face yourself, because he is holding you, and he loves you and you will not die you will be made free.

[I was actually describing narcissism.]

But he can't. To him God is about rituals, hell and judgement and anyway not that important. I pray for him to know Christ (love, acceptance, redemption and being reborn), but it is all I can do, pray.

And unfortunately for me I cannot go back to that innocence of believing in his love, and trusting him. When I discovered the betrayal, that my life was not what I thought it was, that is what I felt when I was with my innocent and unsuspecting friends. Fallen.

CharlotteCollinsislost Tue 20-Nov-12 07:05:06

Interesting (and sad), Abit - I said to my h recently that 'his' God seems to be one of judgement and not love. That is then how he treats me.

blackeyedsusan Tue 20-Nov-12 07:31:05

cough cough... I am barking... a cough this time. and ear ache. I may have to go back to the dr. I am fed up. this is 6 weeks now and it is not fair!

on the plus side, I am not going to pick up my mum. a wek with ds has persuaded her that she is capable of living on he own. grin ds has been terrible. I think he is a bit poorly too and that affects his behaviour.

DutchOma Tue 20-Nov-12 08:03:10

Has your mum any help at all BES? Do the district nurses of her surgery see her? They can organise other support as they have done for us. In our case it was the hospital in London that got in touch with our surgery and GP and it came from there.
Sorry to hear that you are still feeling so unwell and that ds is making life difficult.
Prayers for you and for everyone else.

gingercurl Tue 20-Nov-12 09:43:32

Have just spoken to my sister. They kept her in over night but have decided to send her home today. They suspect a form of angina, but because all her blood tests have come back perfect with none of the markers it and since there is nothing obvious to go on beyond pain, they've decided not to do further test but to send her home with referrals for further tests through her GP. My sister feels very unsure about it all. It is obvious to her that something is not right, but she feels they are sort of fobbing her off. Before she goes she's going to ask the doctor what they want her to do when these symptoms happen again (they are a recurring pattern that has been getting increasingly worse.) Argh!

gingercurl Tue 20-Nov-12 09:48:02

markers for it

<must proof read before posting.>

blackeyedsusan Tue 20-Nov-12 14:48:10

agggghhh yesteday sa fine, waanted to stay at home... today she is cying on the phone and I am having to get her to breathe deep and talk her though getting her tablets and food.

looks like I may be going to collect her again.

off to the dentist tonight with the small bodies... I hope we get ds to--> shock

blackeyedsusan Tue 20-Nov-12 14:48:41

and not hmm

blackeyedsusan Tue 20-Nov-12 14:49:12

or worse grin on the dentists finger

cloutiedumpling Tue 20-Nov-12 16:26:41

DS1 did that years ago. I was so embarrassed. Praying for your mum BES

blackeyedsusan Tue 20-Nov-12 21:58:04

mum has "gone" again. I have talked her thrrough everything today. I have to go and get her tomorrow. (again) she has not fed herrself or taken tablets properly.

you know when you are first in line to collect and then wish you weren't? ds has not had a good day at school. the teacher could not manage to discipline him and he has been sent to the deputy. ds tried to kick random passers by in the playgrorund and got in a couple of stamps onto dd. he has also had a bit of a tired paddy tonight and kicked me in the eye. instant timeout.

on the plus side his teeth are lovely (all the better to bite you with) though I have been told off for not cleaning them twice a day. ( you sit on him then)

oh and I once bit the dentist as she was injecting and it hurt and I was stressed and I did not realise I was clamping down on her thumb... blush

Rachel9331b Tue 20-Nov-12 22:37:26

Can people say a prayer for Caden Beggan's family. Caden was admitted to Yorkhill Sick Kid's in Glasgow last month with meningitis and secepticimia and sadly lost his battle today. He was 6 years old and brave little boy.

Rest in Peace Caden <3 xx

gingercurl Tue 20-Nov-12 22:54:18

Praying for Caden's family.

Have spoken to DSis again who has spoken to a friend who is a GP. He's basically told her that if the pain happens again and lasts for more than 15 minutes, to ignore what the doc at hospital said and call an ambulance. He also said that the symptoms she was describing could indicate a condition that doesn't tend to show up on the standard tests and is fairly rare. It could also be linked to another chronic condition she has. She is awaiting the referrals for the other scans to come through and see what comes out of that. Dsis and DBiL feel much happie/calmerr now after discussing with friend as the stuff he said seem to make sense in the context and his bedside manner is infinitely better, too. Thank you God.

Kaykat Wed 21-Nov-12 00:51:13

Wobbly, my H blamed me for his affair too. He didn't get remorseful until I told him I didn't want to be with him any more. I wasn't bluffing I really don't. So his remorse is too late.

Your last sentence really struck a chord, that's how I feel too, except for the fallen bit. Do you mean that you feel fallen? He is fallen. You are not fallen.

amberlight Wed 21-Nov-12 06:53:12

Praying through the thread for each of you.
And praying today for the women Priests in the CofE, who have woken up to a world where a massive majority of Bishops, Priests and public voted for them to be Bishops, and a tiny minority of people trashed the whole thing. May God grant wisdom aplenty to those who allowed that as a voting system, and to those who realised they had a chance to trash everyone's votes by manipulating the system.

Kaykat Wed 21-Nov-12 07:27:40

We are all fallen of course but you are talking about his adultery Wobbly and you shouldn't be the one feeling ashamed. He is trying to make you feel responsible, that's what they always do to lessen their own feelings of guilt. I would be telling those unsuspecting friends so you can get some extra support for yourself.

I just heard a really annoying man on the radio quoting Timothy and saying that the vote yesterday proves that it is Gods will that women can't be bishops grrrrr

MaryBS Wed 21-Nov-12 08:01:16

My ex said our marriage failed before we had too much money, can you believe that? (actually it failed because he was emotionally abusive and had an affair).

Prayers for all those hurt priests out there, made to feel second class by a handful of people who chose not to represent the wishes of their diocese.

blackeyedsusan Wed 21-Nov-12 08:01:20

grrrrrrrr (muttering) all voted in favour, but not enough in favour...

off on a 100 mile round trip when the childen are at aschool. worried. not sure if I should go after school. arrive at 5-30-6 do tea, drive back again at 7 aive home for 9. hope ds sleeps in the car?

There is such great sadness amoungst women clergy with the vote going as it did. We have to get up and out today and work out how to explain to our congregations how the will of the minority has been imposed on the majority. My only hope is that seats on deanery and diocesean synod will be taken up by those who want to serve the whole church.

blackeyedsusan Wed 21-Nov-12 08:30:26

oh my goodness just rung her and she is delusional. she is convinced people have come in and stolen her food. I have lost he and got dependant in need of massive suppot instead.

jan2013 Wed 21-Nov-12 08:32:26

praying for everyone. awful about the bishops... so sad

i can't get online much atm as i have clingy sick baby. im not really coping very well after being up most of the night with her

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 21-Nov-12 08:46:31

Right bes, it sounds like she has a delirium. She needs to see a doctor pronto, it could be an indicator of an infection. She may need to go to hospital while it is treated and her confusion settles. Longer term you need to talk to social services about a care package - she needs someone to come in and prompt with meals and meds - you can't sustain this over the phone! I hope she gets better soon.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 21-Nov-12 08:51:08

Oh praying too obviously wink

blackeyedsusan Wed 21-Nov-12 10:10:59

oh dea jan it is really difficult when you are so tired. hang on in there.

blackeyedsusan Wed 21-Nov-12 10:13:09

I have rung her gp. he is ringing me back. my cousin is on the way over there now.

madhairday Wed 21-Nov-12 13:42:06

Have just prayed for you all as I've read through the posts since Monday. I've had the most horrendous gastroenteritis, coupled with having to have a very complicated and painful tooth extraction (it was hooked round a wisdom tooth and the bone) - feel like I've done 10 rounds with Tyson, coupled with the whole women bishops debacle making me very, very depressed indeed.

Praying for you all, especially those whose relationships are in a bad place and who are being emotionally abused. May you know God's comfort.

Praying for the future of my church, the c of e.

mumnosbest Wed 21-Nov-12 13:46:40

Never joined a prayer thread before but as i look down at my happy healthy Dd, i count my blessings and send a little prayer for all of you too.

jan2013 Wed 21-Nov-12 20:24:20

welcome mumno its a lovely group here, so glad you are thankful for your lovely dd they are such precious gifts smile thinking of you and your mum BES, and for you too mhd that God will uphold and strengthen you

underneath are the everlasting arms. let us rest in the Fathers arms

PA hope you are feeling a bit better

Are the AB's helping your DD yet Jan? Praying for more sleep for you tonight x

mumnosbest Wed 21-Nov-12 22:17:53

Thanks jan you read like a nice bunch smile

blackeyedsusan Wed 21-Nov-12 22:40:50

<falls in the door>

I am back. the children are in bed. one slept one way, the other slept on the return. they are both lacking in sleep though. school will be thrilled. hmm
I am shattered. drive 55 miles, cook tea, bath 2 children, pack car, drive back 55 miles... wash 2 children (hands/face) oput to bed. sort out granny, put up living room bed. collapse at computer.

even though I am shattered I am buzzing with enough caffeine to keep a rhino awake for a week...

Tuo Wed 21-Nov-12 23:46:27

Just popping in.

BES - praying for you with all that you have on your plate. It's clear that you are a wonderful mum and daughter. May God uphold you, and bring peace to you and to those you love.

Praying for all those with relationship difficulties, for those with health problems (especially MHD and PA... get well soon, both), and for those who are pregnant or have new babies (Faith, Blue).

Mumnosbest - welcome. Is your dd a newborn? Hugely grateful for my two too, although they are now strapping pre-teens... full of hormones and strops and love and joy... all in equal measure. I love them so much.

And praying for unity in the Church of England, for wisdom for its leaders, and for strength and resilience for those - male and female, clergy and laity - who are disappointed today to keep on working for progress.

jan2013 Thu 22-Nov-12 09:15:19


just popping in dd is slightly improved taking its time

if anyone is around this morning please say little prayer for me at 11 i have a little interview thanks so much

jan2013 Thu 22-Nov-12 14:55:54

got it...thanks anyone who prayed smile smile smile

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 22-Nov-12 15:06:54

ah brilliant! that's great news jan smile

Yay! That's great Jan smile

SESthebrave Thu 22-Nov-12 20:09:12

Well done Jan smile

CharlotteCollinsislost Thu 22-Nov-12 20:31:44

Excellent! Well done smile

mumnosbest Thu 22-Nov-12 21:44:45

Thanks Two. No dd's 9.5months now but still new to me smile she's my 3rd and a very happy surprise. I was on a bit of a downer but several things RL and MN have put my little worries into perspective.

Well done jan!

A special little boy (same age as dd2) will be having heart surgery tomorrow. I'm praying for him and his brave mum n dad. I'll also be holding my 3 much tighter tomorrow. So many brave people in this world!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 22-Nov-12 21:51:08

Praying for them mum. Welcome to the thread smile

Please pray for my friend and her DH - she lost her twin babies at about 25 weeks. Based on her FB status and general idea of dates I think tomorrow would have been her due date sad

mumnosbest Thu 22-Nov-12 21:53:57

Thanks and i'll pray for your friend and dh too, such a sad time sad

blackeyedsusan Thu 22-Nov-12 23:14:02

congatualations jan.

sad faith

shattered need to go to bed. just put up the sofa bed for mum. gettingher tablets out and her to bed now.

got towhack something in sandwiches for the children.

blackeyedsusan Fri 23-Nov-12 07:48:36


got to go to morrisons and do a £40 shop. thinking of stuff that will store in the cupboards. trying to get my vouchers for christmas. i bet by then I wwill not have enough roonm in th eflat for christmas shopping...

blackeyedsusan Fri 23-Nov-12 07:55:18

got to organise a drs appointment for mum...

blackeyedsusan Fri 23-Nov-12 14:42:14

3 hours 3 sodding hours. how is it possible for one person to mix things up and get confused over thing after thing after thing for 3 hours. <cries>

mumnosbest Fri 23-Nov-12 16:48:53

thanks and happy thoughts coming your way blackeye you sound fed up

Tuo Fri 23-Nov-12 17:17:31

Aww, BES. You're having such a tough time. Prayers.

Can I ask you to pray for my dd1. She's 12, and has long claimed to be an atheist like her dad, and won't come to church or even go to the church youth club etc. But yesterday in the car (when it was just the two of us) she told me that she would really like to believe in something, and that sometimes she does feel as if something is out there, but she just isn't sure. I tried to tell her that you couldn't feel sure about the existence of God in the same way in which you feel sure of physical this-worldly phenomena (like 'it's raining' or 'that flame is hot'), but that it's OK to say 'I can't prove this, but I believe it', and that if you let that something speak to you, this can get easier and easier. I think she 'got' what I was trying to say, although she didn't commit to anything. But for her to move away from her dad's 'pooh-pooh-ing' mentality and to open the door even just a crack is a big thing. I'm not pushing anything on her at all... I just want her to keep on feeling that she can ask the questions and get non-patronising answers. Please pray for her to keep that door ajar. Thank you.

Prayers for all.

jan2013 Fri 23-Nov-12 17:35:20

praying for you all.. sorry BES things are so hard right now sending hugs to you

DutchOma Fri 23-Nov-12 19:31:26

Prayers and hugs from me too.

blackeyedsusan Fri 23-Nov-12 20:00:57

I don't know what to do. she is saying she is going to die if she doesn't get away from ds. she said the d said that she would be dead by wednesday if he did not get away from ds. I am seiously consideing getting out a mental health team. she wants to go home but she was hallucinating at home, not feeding herself and getting in a muddle with tablets. she spent 3 hours today going round in circles over lots of stuff, despite eassurance that it wowuld be dealt with or what is happening. I am out of my depth.

Tuo Fri 23-Nov-12 20:27:11

BES... You poor thing. I would call the mental health team. You can't cope with this - not because you can't cope, but because no-one could; she needs professional help. It's not fair on you for you to take all this on yourself single-handedly.

Praying in the meantime, but please do get yourself some help, eh?

(*Disclaimer*: I know nothing, so this is just from a lay person's perspective.)

I would contact the Mental Health Team, they are experienced and can show you the way forward with your Mum's care. I'm so sorry BES though, this must be very distressing for you and an awful lot to shoulder ((hugs))

HavingALittleFaithBaby Fri 23-Nov-12 21:15:59

What did the GP say bes? A MH specialist might help. Odd question (but go with me, this is how I earn my bread and butter) - do the hallucinations scare her? Or does she not realise its abnormal?
I would think this is a delirium - if they treat the cause, they treat the delirium. However if it is getting really difficult to care for her at home, you should ask the on call Gp to review her with a view to getting her admitted to hospital - it sounds like she needs 24 hour care for a bit.

blackeyedsusan Fri 23-Nov-12 21:39:28

i was not there when the gp visited. cousins were there but they are away at the moment.

she was crying down the phone saying that 2 people she knows had broken into the house and taken her food and she only had half a slice of bread left and she had eaten half a bowl of custard before that was stolen. she was u pset as no-one would believe her. yet when my cousins arrived a couple of hours later she seemed a lot more normal. apart from having absolutely no idea I was coming to get her despite everyone telling her that repeatedly.

I do not know how long to let her try the tablets she was prescribed. she may be better with sleep. she may need an anxiolytic tablet. (sp) she definitely does not remember what she is doing/going/location when out of the home. she can't remember when she has had tablets.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Fri 23-Nov-12 21:43:16

Was she orientated before this episode? Has this come on suddenly?

blackeyedsusan Fri 23-Nov-12 21:57:55

it came on suddenlyish... deterioration after a fall in the road about 2 weeks ago. I am trying to remember if she was quietly deteriorating before that. she was verry shook up by the fall.. did not hit head as far as I know. she has not been sleeping for a long while. she lays awake and worries about everything...and all day too it seems today. she has just fogotten whether she has taken her tablet and it is less htan 5 mins ago. high blood pressure and not taking the tablets properly may also be an issue. niot eating poperrly and losing weight.. has been for a scan.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Fri 23-Nov-12 22:06:36

Sometimes rather than a fall causing problems, a fall can be a sign that there's other things going on. What meds have they prescribed?
Short attention span and not sleeping are signs of delirium.

blackeyedsusan Fri 23-Nov-12 22:14:22


she fell over something in a hurry rather than toppling over something. she was in a panic though about being late... i remember now.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Fri 23-Nov-12 22:19:21

Zopiclone? Hmm. That will only help her sleep. I would push to get her seen again to diagnose the cause of the problem. Zopiclone is quite a strong sedative and may make her drowsier and wobbly on her feet the next day.

blackeyedsusan Fri 23-Nov-12 22:24:30

forgot to add she was widdowed in august. the gp thought it may be due to the not sleeping. she has to go back and see him in 10 days or so but if things show no sign of improving I will take her baack somewherre before then.

BES prayers aplenty for you and your mum.

TUO prayers for your DD1. Good steps forward!! wink and it sounds as if you handled it in a lovely way.

All well here now. We all went down with the bug, then discovered that the friends we saw last weekend were all ill, too. First time we have had that in the 4 months, so not bad going, really!!

jan2013 Sat 24-Nov-12 08:36:35

i agree with littlefaith re the zopliclone - long term is not good it is addictive and has side effects... i had it for ages a few years ago. good short term though

DutchOma Sat 24-Nov-12 10:45:23

If the situation is still bad you may need the out of hours emergency service and insist on a home visit. As far as I know they cannot refuse in an emergency. And if there is any sign of deterioration I would phone 999 for an ambulance. I have done it when in distress over Bob and they have been absolutely wonderful. since he has been ill I have found out so many things. That there is a crisis intervention team for instance that will come in and help out.
District nurses also have amazing powers and do work long hours.
You will need to be calm and persistent though and also be prepared to wait in for phonecalls and visits.
My prayers are with you and your mum and your children especially ds.

blackeyedsusan Sat 24-Nov-12 11:41:03

oh you could not make it up.... ds is now asleep after vommittting in bed... mum has picked up a bit.

great ideas do. will look into some of those.

madhairday Sat 24-Nov-12 12:47:29

Oh Bes - praying right now.

TUO - praying for dd1. Indeed a good step smile

Please can you pray for us this Christmas as we do varous community events. Quite daunting but hoping we get lots of support and people turning out. Feel a bit vulnerable with it all.

DutchOma Sat 24-Nov-12 13:07:11

Just don't keep struggling on without help. It doesn't seem to have got a lot easier for you.

blackeyedsusan Sat 24-Nov-12 22:37:18

we have had a quieter day today.

Gllad things have gone a bit quieter BES continuing prayers.

Prayers for your Christmas plans MHD vulnerable is not a bad thing, cos then it will be God taking the reigns and not you. wink Hope they all go well.

Talking of Christmas, our family is going to need a lot of prayer for this Christmas. For the girls back in the UK, their first Christmas without their mum and dad and whole family around them. Please pray for them, especially DD1 who feels so alone. I am worried about them over the Christmas time. And also for us out here. It is going to be weird and I know that DS is going to be incredibly homesick. Christmas has always been such a family time for us all and now we are all split 7,500 miles apart!! sad Thank you.

jan2013 Sun 25-Nov-12 08:35:27

PA that does sound difficult... will be praying for God to make provision for your dc at home and also while you are away too.

please also pray for me just having a rough morning - i did too much yesterday which drained me, then had a rough night with dd and i feel under spiritual attack. im also worried about Christmas. i emailed dh a month ago to suggest plans for christmas day and he never got back to me.... it makes me nervous about whether everything will go up in the air. i like to have things sorted so everyone knows whats going on and am scared to mention it again incase it starts an argument which i don't feel i could cope with at the minute.

DutchOma Sun 25-Nov-12 10:45:14

Jan when in doubt, don't. Christmas is still a month away and if he doesn't want to play ball, you can organise things the way you want them.
PA yes, that is a difficult situation. What wider support have the girls (further family, church hmm)? What plans are there for your community?

jan2013 Sun 25-Nov-12 21:35:18

i just feel so low. i had saved up months of tithe, and every time im in church i miss the offering plate going round cos im in the nursery. i had a wad of notes in an envelope saved every week to throw in one day... and ive lost it, it must have fallen out of my bag. im so upset. then to top a rough day off, dh and me had an argument when he dropped dd off and im just really upset. i wish he was out of my life for good....he makes me feel rotten.

CheerfulYank Mon 26-Nov-12 02:29:12

Just popping in to see you all. smile Praying for all of you!

CheerfulYank Mon 26-Nov-12 02:29:35

Oh, and I am having a baby too. grin

MaryBS Mon 26-Nov-12 07:43:28

Thats WONDERFUL news CheerfulYank smile smile

Jan, try not to fret about the money, just pray about it, and also contact the police in case it was handed in. But if its not, pray that the money will be of use for the person who found it, and that if they don't know God already, they will know God. You never know, God may have found an alternative use for it smile.

Oh Jan I second Mary's advice.

I take it your H decided drop off was a good time to raise things again? angry

CheerfulYank Mon 26-Nov-12 08:37:59

That's what I thought too, Jan. The money could have gone to someone who really needed it...the best purpose for tithing.

So sorry it's happened, though. sad

jan2013 Mon 26-Nov-12 10:11:16

guess i just have to trust that its fallen into the right hands.... would i just phone 999 to tell the police? (im so thick)

yeah Mome H thinks we 'should talk like 2 humans in front of dd' and is making me feel like im the one who can't talk properly in front of her. if we could talk properly and manage our relationship properly then why would all this have happened. i don't know what to think any more, even if i was in a good marriage i would still want to keep disagreements from dc, even if there is a time when she has to 'get used to it'

MaryBS Mon 26-Nov-12 10:37:13

I would contact the nearest police station, 999 is for emergencies. As for talking like 2 humans, it certainly doesn't sound like its YOU thats the one being unreasonable. If you want to keep your daughter out of it, maybe you have to say to him, now is not the right time or place, and arrange to meet up without her, but in a public place, like a cafe or something (so he has to behave and not browbeat you).

jan2013 Mon 26-Nov-12 10:50:04

ive tried saying that so many times, he just doesn't listen, he gets frustrated when i say it and tells me to wise up

MaryBS Mon 26-Nov-12 19:36:20

Wise up? Why? What on earth is he on about? That doesn't make sense, other than he is trying to control the conversation by having it in front of your child. Its difficult to know what to suggest unless you in your turn refuse to rise to the bait and refuse to listen to him unless he agrees to meet on neutral territory. What you are asking for is perfectly reasonable, don't let him tell you otherwise! Prayers for you...

jan2013 Mon 26-Nov-12 20:00:40

thanku Mary... i dread pick up and drop off incase something happens and he upsets me. i will keep refusing to listen and asking him just to leave...its so sad our relationship has come to this. praying for all those who are struggling with similar dh issues

Wise up? How patronising.

Your relationship needs time to re-set, a period without speaking can be good. He is still in the old patterns of speaking to you. Drop offs and pick ups for now, need to be simply he collects her and leaves. Drops her and leaves and he needs to respect your boundaries. He can send you an e-mail with any questions in between.

I know friends who have always had someone with them for drop offs and pick ups. Just in the early days. If you're not able to do this, can it be a neutral location?

I'm so sorry Jan. You're not wrong, please do not second guess yourself, or think you're being unreasonable. You're not. ((Hugs))

blackeyedsusan Mon 26-Nov-12 21:39:48

just popping in ask you to pray for no floods at mmy uncles/cousins villages... one is coming to help with the house and the other was going to have mum to stay for a couple of weeks.

hugs jan... you seem to have got rid of a right patronising git...

Kaykat Mon 26-Nov-12 23:10:53

I had an upsetting weekend. Found out about further unfaithfulness from my H, dating several OW at the same time as telling me his woman chasing days were over and that all he wanted was his family back. Not too much of a surprise as he was still extremely secretive but I'll admit it hurts a bit. I told him not to come home any more, just like I do every week, only to have him turn up 5 days later.

mumnosbest Mon 26-Nov-12 23:55:32

Sending prayers and best wishes for all of you. Also praying for all those not in their homes tonight due to the floods. We've had a burst pipe so have no kitchen. I can only begin to imagine the devastation some are facing.
Congratulations cheerful yank. Heres to a stress and sick free pg and a happy, healthy baby.
My friends baby boy has come through his heart surgery but is still in picu. Please spare a prayer. He's so small but getting stronger day by day. Mum and dad are desperately waiting for cuddles.

Congratulations Cheerful.

Jan prayers for you. Having someone there at drop off sounds like a good plan to me, just for a short while until things settle and he gets the message that you cannot be spoken to like that.

Kaykat sorry to hear that you are still finding out this stuff. Not an expert on this in any way, but could you change the locks before the weekend, then be out of the house, perhaps staying with a friend or something, so that he cannot get in? Prayers of peace for you. (((hugs))) too.

How is everyone else? Prayers for you all.

madhairday Tue 27-Nov-12 09:22:31

Oh Kaykat - I know you knew already he was playing around but it makes it no less devastating to find out about more. I'm so sorry. sad Praying for comfort for you today.

Jan, praying...

BES how are things?

Can't believe it's nearly December.

amberlight Tue 27-Nov-12 10:47:00

KK, heck sad
Jan, supervised contact drop off and pick up is available via women's aid etc - have they suggested this?
The only two ways to defeat an abusive partner in conversation are to repeat exactly what you just said, over and over and over again, taking no notice of their antics....or to you the one word answers of Yes and No. Either is unwinnable against and they hate it - but can't use either against you.
Prayers aplenty for everyone.

amberlight Tue 27-Nov-12 10:47:23

*use not 'you'. Grr. Typing.

ZipadiSoozi Tue 27-Nov-12 15:14:12

prayers for docs apppnt later, had a surge felt like an electric shock in my head, my heart was racing, eyes felt as if they were bulging out of my head and left bloodshot, went xt dizzy, fell back on pillow, got up this morning and ached from teeth to ears to top of head, was very frightening.

jan2013 Tue 27-Nov-12 15:21:11

so sorry kaykat. hope you are ok Zip that sounds so scary. amber thanks for the advice... i will do that next time and consider ringing WA again if things escalate. i can't even get going today... feel quite depressed actually - i hope its not coming back again. those kind of arguments like i had on sunday night usually take me awhile to recover from, though he does not consider them arguments.

Kaykat Tue 27-Nov-12 16:49:58

Hope you are ok Zip, praying.

PA wish i could but if I changed the locks he would force his way in, he's a big bloke.

Amber your advice sounds good for me to. I think I have got too bogged down and frustrated in trying to get him to acknowledge what is decent and reasonable. It's a complete waste of time. You sounds like you know what you are talking about, any further advice on dealing with a verbally and emotionally abusive man most welcome.

blackeyedsusan Wed 28-Nov-12 00:07:28

<falls in the door>

a rorund trip to mums after school and a 1.5 hour delay by an escaped pig... shattered. she is going to my uncles for a week. I will need to arrange for her to go to the gp at some point.

blackeyedsusan Wed 28-Nov-12 13:29:34

yay... spoke to mums dr... he is chasing up the help she needs... assessment first... so cobbling together care til then...

pray for a speedy outcome!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 28-Nov-12 13:33:26

Great news/progress bes! Praying for a speedy result.

jan that sounds rough. No more advice to add but praying for a resolution.

kay, despite knowing he'd been playing away I'm sure the depth of the deception makes it worse, so praying for peace.

I'm doing ok but very fatigued at the moment. Work is quite intense! I've got 2 days off together so just trying to potter at home and chill out. Prayers for energy appreciated!

ZipadiSoozi Wed 28-Nov-12 13:48:17

I'm ok, thank goodness, thank you for your prayers, I'd had a convulsion, result of a high temperature, strange I didn't feel poorly before hand (apparently a viral infection) xx

CharlotteCollinsislost Wed 28-Nov-12 16:10:21

Just nipping in to ask for prayer for tomorrow - I am meeting my pastor to tell him the truth about my sham of a marriage...

blackeyedsusan Wed 28-Nov-12 18:46:43

oo charlotte I hope it goes well.

blackeyedsusan Wed 28-Nov-12 20:12:19

right, i have had a message from the team that is going to assess mum. got to ring them tomorow.

Milliways Wed 28-Nov-12 20:23:36

Hello all.

Could I please ask for prayers for my DD as she is coping with a new job, winter vomiting bug & her wedding is in just over 3 weeks!! She & her fiance have a strong faith and I know any extra prayers would be very welcome. It certainly adds a new dimension to the notmal Christmas stresses.

Thank you all very much smile

DutchOma Wed 28-Nov-12 22:08:26

Praying that all will work for the best, Millie. What a lot of stress it must all be for you.

madhairday Thu 29-Nov-12 09:14:43

Prayers for today lost and un mn hugs as well, a hard thing to do but the right thing for definite.

Prayers Milliways - exciting times ahead!

Continued prayers for your mum, BES.

Sooooz, how scary, gosh, glad you are ok.

Keeping you all in my prayers

jan2013 Thu 29-Nov-12 11:19:17

reading and praying

CharlotteCollinsislost Thu 29-Nov-12 12:39:47

Am praying for you all as I read through, mostly in a general way with thanks that God has a far bigger heart and mind than I have! smile I'm a bit preoccupied at the moment...

Thank you for your prayers. The meeting with my pastor went very very well. It's definitely been worth these hard months getting to grips with what the problem is, as I couldn't have explained it clearly during the summer. I have had so much practice at forgiving my h and forgetting or suppressing his (verbal/psychological) attacks that I had just a general awareness that something was wrong, but now I can describe so many specific incidents. He said at the beginning of our meeting that he's been a pastor a while and heard a lot, so he won't be shocked - but I think he was very surprised. My h is a charmer in public, a smooth liar and a convincingly charitable Christian - but in private he's shown me much much more judgment than love; the dcs are on the receiving end of that, too. He has big issues from childhood, but he just won't address them. I have spent years (13 in total) putting my needs aside in order to support him better or in order to stop myself getting hurt, but it is damaging me and it's not good for him, either. As for the example it sets to the dcs...

I've said some of this before in bits and pieces, but I wanted to give you a clearer picture if you've not been following it all because your prayer support will be so valuable in the coming months. Now I know I will not be abandoned by my parents or my church, I am determined to leave him. I am scared, but I know God will sustain me.

jan2013 Thu 29-Nov-12 12:49:46

wow Charlotte... massive massive hugs to you. youre going through so much but God is in it and with you all the way and bringing support all around you. xxx

Big steps Charlotte, massive ((hugs)) to you x

CheerfulYank Thu 29-Nov-12 20:37:01

<hugs> Charlotte.

Wow, Milliways, a wedding so close to Christmas! It will be lovely I'm sure. smile

Sorry KK, how awful. sad Praying for you and everyone.

I would like to ask for prayers for this boy. He needs to be adopted desperately. When he is 5 (this summer) he will be transferred out of the baby house where he currently lives and into an adult institution, where his future will be bleak. I would love to adopt him myself, actually, but don't know if the timing is right and if DH and I would be able to raise the money.

cloutiedumpling Thu 29-Nov-12 21:14:07

CheerfulYank - what fantastic news. Congratulations!

BES - praying for you and your Mum.

CharlotteCollins - I was going to call you Lost, but you don't seem lost any more, you know which direction you are going in! I think you were very brave speaking to the pastor today. Prayers for you over the coming months.

Millie - praying everything goes smoothly.

CharlotteCollinsislost Thu 29-Nov-12 21:21:17

grin I was just thinking that I might lose the "lost" when I move out!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 29-Nov-12 21:43:49

Hey all <waves>

Charlotte, in a non-patronising way I'm proud of you! It must have taken guts to tell all to your pastor but I'm sure it means it will give you the support you need. I continue to pray into your situation.

Cheerful how are you? When are you due? I will pray for the beautiful little boy to find a family.

bes I hope the contact with the services today has resulted in progress and your Mum is ok.

milly I don't think we've met! My sister had a Christmas wedding (22nd Dec) and it was beautiful. I'll pray for peace and health.

I'm now getting strong kicks and DH felt it last night grin

Milliways Thu 29-Nov-12 21:55:38

Thanks for the prayers everyone. I had a hospital appt today and they said I need to go back for gastroscopy & colonoscopy. I said fine - but AFTER the wedding please! (Although would be a quick way to shift a pound or too!) grin

blackeyedsusan Thu 29-Nov-12 22:50:17

mental health are fgoing to visit her at my uncles. i hope they see what she has been like if she is still like it.

got the call.... time to go and see mil this weekend if we ever want to see her. a blocked bowel due to the cancer.. not good. quicker than we hoped. sad

DutchOma Fri 30-Nov-12 09:55:11

BES so sorry. If it isn't one thing it's the other. Prayers for you to feel enveloped by the unending love of God.

blackeyedsusan Fri 30-Nov-12 14:59:52

<hurtles through thread..>

dosco afte school, costume making for pirate party that is suddenly back on..after a cancellation of another guest and early pirate party.

place your bets ladies and gentlemen on the time I fall into bed tonight"!

DutchOma Fri 30-Nov-12 15:40:53

I will bet on tomorrow morning. You are one brave mummy.

blackeyedsusan Fri 30-Nov-12 17:12:14


jan2013 Fri 30-Nov-12 17:36:07

hope it takes your mind of things BES thinking of u

ZipadiSoozi Sat 01-Dec-12 09:32:38

bes x

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 09:37:27

Hope it's been a fun distraction bes.

blackeyedsusan Sat 01-Dec-12 09:41:54

oops I was not making sense

pirrate costume is done enough. need tossew the elastic if I can... sometime when I get a ssewing machine, I will sew the waist coat properly.

the mentaal health tem hve been to see mum. they re meeting onmondayto see wht services are available.

blackeyedsusan Sat 01-Dec-12 09:47:42

sorry can't type with a boy banging into me and being clingy and showing me stuff under my nose...

dingdongMadHairDayonhigh Sat 01-Dec-12 16:56:59


It's that time again smile

BES - thinking of you.

Charlotte/notlost grin so glad it went well with the pastor. Praying for you especially this time of year.

Getting in the Advent spirit here - thinking of this time last year when I was so poorly and ended up in hospital over Christmas, and feeling very thankful for all I am able to do so far this year. smile

jan2013 Sat 01-Dec-12 19:03:17

mhd so pleased you are in a much better place this year - praise the Lord

i feel i am in a better place in many respects, but in a harder place in some respects too. i mean, i don't know what to do about christmas decorations. theres just me and dd and she is too young to understand, although she will enjoy the decorations. it will feel a bit weird putting them up myself....and dh will be really hurt when he sees house all christmassy without him. this sounds stupid doesn't it sad

HavingALittleFaithBaby Sat 01-Dec-12 19:14:31

Good to hear you're in a better place mhd. Loving the name change!

jan maybe you can just do a little bit? A small tree?

Still praying into your situation with your Mum bes, sounds like things are slightly better?

It's rolling round to the anniversary of when our house caught fire sad (Early hours 4th December). We're trying not to dwell on it but I feel my anxiety levels are up and signs of stress are evident like dry skin on my hands and anxiety when I go to bed. I look awful too - DH said Um, you look grey! Quick check in the mirror confirmed he was right confused so I'd really appreciate prayers for peace and health right now smile

What I did like about the first year I prepared the home for Christmas on my own, was that I could buy little trinkets ExH would never have liked and decorate the tree, exactly how I wanted to. But it's terribly strange, the first year you do it alone.

My kids were 1 and 2 and a bit, my first Christmas alone. It made me feel super Christmassy, when I decorated. I think I did it for me really, that year blush

Try not to feel guilty Jan x

Hope this post makes sense. I am soooo tired tonight.

CharlotteCollinsislost Sat 01-Dec-12 21:34:40

I think that's absolutely fair, to do the Christmas stuff for yourself. You say dd is too young to understand, jan, but she understands enough to enjoy seeing Mummy singing along to something on the radio with a smile on her face, or whatever you might want to do. It could be a really healthy opportunity to give some thought to yourself: think about what you like and what makes you happy - chances are you've not given that much thought for a while now. DH can make things Christmassy in his place - he's an adult, after all: he can look after himself. wink

A year ago, I was still hopping around on crutches after the car accident and had just moved house not to mention country. I am so thankful to be a year further on, despite all the stuff going on now.

Praying tonight particularly for Faith and bes and her mum.

cloutiedumpling Sun 02-Dec-12 21:26:53

Praying for all, esp BES.

Praying also for all who find Christmas and the lead up to it difficult for whatever reason.

blackeyedsusan Sun 02-Dec-12 22:37:28

thanks cloutie and charlotte. needed it on that last bit home trying to drive with runny cold and getting crying children in bed.

mil is very ill. not long left now. I told dd today aas we were going to see mil. it would be good if she did not die on a birthday or christmas. and actually lasted to birthdays in 2 weeks. sad

mum has had another crisis of non sleeping... my aunt, (mums sil) has arranged emergency drs care and drs appointment tomorrow. mum was worse on the phone than she has been for a few days, though not as bad as a week and a half ago. tomorrow is the meeting about the care that can be offered.

blackeyedsusan Sun 02-Dec-12 22:40:43

oh nad ds managed to get water comingthrough the kitchen ceiling quite spectacularlyI got raained on and quite wet. I think I broke the record for stair climbing.

TuoComeOComeEmmanuel Mon 03-Dec-12 01:31:58

Hello all... popping in to show off my Advent namechange, and to pray for all, but especially for...
BES - for your MIL, for your mum, for your kitchen ceiling, and for you. You have so much on your plate right now, may you feel God's love around you as you deal with it all;
Faith - rest up, and I pray that you feel better soon;
Charlotte - for the strength to make the changes you need to make in your life;
Momey - for rest;
jan - for more peaceful feelings about Christmas, and for support in dealing with your H;
Kaykat - for continuing strength to deal with your marital situation;
MHD - for continuing health and strength in this busy period;
Oma - for health and strength for you and Bob;
... and for all who read this thread.

I don't feel on top of things at all atm, and could do with prayers to get done all that I need to get done before Christmas. I've got a panicky 'out-of-control' feeling today that I could do without. Still... I've got my Quiet Day to look forward to on Saturday, so I'm hoping to work hard all week and then use Saturday to gather my thoughts somewhat.

CheerfulYank Mon 03-Dec-12 06:34:26

I just wanted to pop back in and pray for everyone, and also to say that the darling little boy I linked some pages back has apparently found a family, and will be going home as soon as the money is raised, etc. I am so happy! smile

jan2013 Mon 03-Dec-12 07:14:25

brill news cheerful

Praying Tuo - i hate that out of control feeling. maybe writing a list would help it go away? praying that god gives you peace and makes you very productive

BES so sorry things are just so hard one thing after the other. please keep posting and we will keep praying - at least its an outlet here and God cares about everything that is going on. praying you get some respite from it all very soon and in the meantime God gives you the grace to get through

Praying for faith and sense of peace in hte house

remembering all those who are having a difficult christmas cos of illnesses, being away from their family, and also relationship problems and bereavement. there are so many things people are going through on the board and God knows each of us and how each of us feels and understands

ive got an interview for a job this morning, if i get it it would have to just be one shift a week as i can't commit to more than that, but it would really help me month to month.

dingdongMadHairDayonhigh Mon 03-Dec-12 13:21:08

Hope it goes well Jan!

Liking the NC, Tuo grin

CY, that is fabulous news. smile

BES, continuing to pray for peace and calm for you.

We had a really good meeting yesterday, a sort of advent messy home-church, so I feel fairly upbeat about stuff, got some carol singing stuff coming up too. Hoping it all makes a difference in this community.

thinking of and praying for you all.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Mon 03-Dec-12 14:02:43

Ooh praying for you jan! smile

blackeyedsusan Mon 03-Dec-12 15:04:07

ho did it go jan?

jan2013 Mon 03-Dec-12 17:57:36

thanku for prayers it went ok will find out near end of week

CharlotteCollinsislost Mon 03-Dec-12 21:06:55

Advent messy home-church sounds great!

CheerfulYank Mon 03-Dec-12 21:54:08

Have you all seen this ? So sweet...really left me feeling Christmassy! smile

Kaykat Mon 03-Dec-12 23:15:44

Hope my weekends get better soon and before I end up going crazy. H now realising there's no chance with me is trying to use DS to trap me. It scares me how easily he can persuade DS to go anywhere with him saying 'we don't want you with us mum'. Surely any court order will be worthless if decides he wants to be with his dad. So scared he will take him away from me, then I will be forced to stay with a cruel man that I have to share with OW. Dreading Christmas, having to spend days on end with h or miss out on time with DS, that's my choice. I am feeling very low about it all.

CheerfulYank Tue 04-Dec-12 00:57:02

How old is DS again, kay ?

Kaykat Tue 04-Dec-12 07:13:54

DS is 12

DutchOma Tue 04-Dec-12 09:46:36

Praying Kaykat. For you, your DS and you h.

Ladies, my friend is going in to give birth to her 20 week angel baby today. So very, very sad for her. Please will you pray that everything goes as smoothly as possible and that she is dealt with sympathetically and with dignity. Gutted that I am so far from her sad

HavingALittleFaithBaby Tue 04-Dec-12 10:56:02

Oh how very sad Room sad I'm 20 weeks today, I can't imagine how awful that just feel...I'll be praying.

kay I can't imagine what you're going through but I just wanted to remind you how far you've come. The fact that your ExH recognises he can't manipulate you is progress. Stand your ground and just be the great Mum you are to DS, kids are perceptive, he'll see through his Dad's manipulations.

Praying for your friend Room I know what she's going through, I gave birth to DD2 last year at 20 weeks!

Praying for everyone else too. Had my parents visiting over the weekend and this afternoon my brother arrives! Busy days!

jan2013 Tue 04-Dec-12 15:50:42

praying for your friend Room. so sorry for blue and all those who have went through this

Kaykat, no words but am thinking of you. it can be so difficult.

dh sending me nice texts and being cooperative at the minute. trying not to get sucked in.

janglebells2013 Tue 04-Dec-12 17:21:42

took the advice re Christmas and name changed smile getting in the mood to be happy this christmas for dd and me and remembering what its all about... so will aim to get some deco's up soon.

DontstepontheBaubles Tue 04-Dec-12 18:01:58

Oh how sad Room sad Praying.

I would keep seeking advice from places who understand abuse Kaykat and how they can and do try to manipulate the poor children involved. We're all praying for your son to be protected from it and for the strength for you.

Yes keep those boundaries up Jan x

Just wanted to say thank-you for everyone's prayers. I'm sorry that some of you lovely ladies have gone through the same thing and I hope that I haven't stirred up memories for you.

I'm going to try and stick around and keep praying with/for you. I'm not sure if I can keep up with everyone but I'll try. I used to be a regular on here under a different name (in fact DO knitted a cardigan and a jumper for my DD!). I've not been on MN much for a while because it can take over a bit but I figure that the prayer thread is a good place to be!

blackeyedsusan Tue 04-Dec-12 22:06:16

my aunt is going to arrange respite care forr my mum, asap. the quicker it is done the quicker they will get some peace. mum is not easy at the moment and was hysterical over the weekend. they have done several drs visits and phonecalls. the dr is going to chase up the consultant. I can not face having her back here. it is not good for ds or mum. nor me come to think of it as I am trying to separate them.

mil is still hanging on I think. that is not going to be pleasant as there is always a risk of h being violent at times of stress. and it is coming up to christmas when he will be spending more time with us. I do not want to have to be put in the position of calling the police or the children going to case conference and being put on the at risk register. I hope she survives until at least christmas... for the children's sake.

I am just keeping my head above water. only just. the thing is, I have to keep it together for the children. there is only me.

DutchOma Tue 04-Dec-12 22:38:36

Did you have a user name that began with S and a real name with A?
Whoever you are, I hope you will stay awhile.
BES that is an awful responsibility: there is only me. Christmas is still a long way away, so I hope that everybody keeps it together. As you say: for the sake of the children. Praying for you and for all on the thread.

Kaykat Tue 04-Dec-12 22:51:15

Thanks for your prayers, I'm having a bad few days. My strength and resolve has all gone and I miss what I thought I had up until six months ago and the person I thought I was married to who has either changed beyond all recognition, or I was blind. Looking back it can't have been that great but I thought I was happy most of the time. Now I feel so so unhappy so much of the time.

DutchOma Tue 04-Dec-12 22:58:17

Kaykat it may well get worse before it gets better. But whether you never knew your husband or whether you only now see his true colours, your marriage is broken and cannot be mended. You need to go through the pain now and you will, with God's help, come out the other side.

blackeyedsusan Tue 04-Dec-12 23:56:16

(hugs kay) hugs.

plenty of room, room. smile

TuoComeOComeEmmanuel Wed 05-Dec-12 01:00:44

Praying for all tonight. Haven't shared this old favourite on this thread, so here goes:

Watch, dear Lord, with those who wake, or watch, or weep tonight, and let your angels protect those who sleep. Tend the sick. Refresh the weary. Sustain the dying. Calm the suffering. Pity the distressed. We ask this for the sake of your love. Amen.

Praying in particular tonight for Room's friend as she mourns the loss of her baby. Praying also for strength for Kaykat, BES and Jan as they approach the Christmas period with trepidation rather than joy - may they know love and comfort. Praying for those who are pregnant (CheerfulYank, Faith) in this period of waiting. Thinking of those who are ill, including BES's mum and MIL, Bob, and our lovely MHD, who's in hospital and could do with our prayers. And praying for those who have caring responsibilities, whether for loved-ones or as part of their job.

blackeyedsusan Wed 05-Dec-12 07:44:51

tuo, send my love to mhd. poor love. not another christmas. sad

DutchOma Wed 05-Dec-12 09:32:09

Adding Friendo Dorothy into the pregnant ones. She is coming up to her due date, if I remember correctly.
And praying for MHD of course.
Thank you for all your prayers for Bob and me. We are doing ok at the moment, having some new things like the bathroom, the blinds in Bob's room and tomorrow we are going out to buy him a little tv for his room. This is the third Christmas we thought he would never see, praise the Lord.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 05-Dec-12 09:48:07

I hear from FoD on an ante-natal thread. She's on mat leave now and hoping the baby comes before Christmas!

Thanks for the prayers.

Poor MHD! Praying for health and wellness.

Hang in there kay!

DO I hope the shopping is a success and you have a blessed Christmas together smile

DutchOma Wed 05-Dec-12 10:45:19

Glad your 4th December anniversary passed without incident Faith. When is your due date again?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 05-Dec-12 10:54:35

I didn't sleep very well but I was determined not to be superstitious about history repeating itself! Happily we have decorated the house for Christmas (which we never got chance to do last year) which is lovely. I'm due 23rd April so I'm literally halfway there now! smile

DO - yes, that's me! I'll post again later - need to get organised for the pre-school run.

TuoComeOComeEmmanuel Wed 05-Dec-12 12:42:51

In haste, from work... just to say that I have asked MHD's DH to pass on that we are praying for her.

Was thinking about FoD the other day, so thanks for mentioning her, DO.

blackeyedsusan Wed 05-Dec-12 17:41:01

2 play rehearsals led to a kicking screaming biting hitting refusal to wear coat, meltdown on the way home from school. I shall be talking to the head teacher tomorrow about how to ease his distress. i could see it when I picked him up. sitting and holding him for quite a qhile when we got home has helped. he switched off and ent to play beautifully with dd. unfortuately this is going to be the story til the end of term.

blackeyedsusan Wed 05-Dec-12 19:21:02

oh and he has just socked me one in the middle of the back on the way to bed time. he is not at all himself at the moment. it is quite sore.

Kaykat Wed 05-Dec-12 19:27:36

Poor you BES.
Glad you are in a happier situation this year, Faith.
Thinking of MHD, hopes she gets well looked after and able to go home soon.

I don't know what's wrong with me, crying when driving from school to work, managed to hold it together at work. This is how I was six months ago, thought I was stronger now.

DontstepontheBaubles Wed 05-Dec-12 20:25:00

Kaykat you're under immense pressure with your H. I'm not surprised you cried. I suspect it's been building up. You're trying to remain so strong. Sending you a massive ((hug)) lovely x

I ended up on anti depressants for a year after separation. It's hard and my H wasn't abusive, just a cheat.

BES prayers for you x

LiftUpYourGingerHeadsOYeCurls Wed 05-Dec-12 21:27:27

<tiptoes in>
Hello! I'm not really here, just popping in. Decided to change my nn for advent. Not that I'm posting much at the moment, so it makes little difference really, but wanted to just do something to mark the season and I'm struggling to concentrate on my thesis.

Praying for everyone
<sneeks out again.>

DontstepontheBaubles Wed 05-Dec-12 22:43:53

I'm having a nightmare with my local district council. I should be eligible for £10 pw off my council tax due to my low income but the office keep promising to send me forms and don't and now my bill has come through really high. I keep calling them and I'm now getting so stressed. I cannot make it to their offices in person, as it's not open when I'm not working or doing school runs. Please pray the letter I send tomorrow by recorded delivery reaches the right person and things are sorted out sad

I'm so stressed about it now.

TuoComeOComeEmmanuel Thu 06-Dec-12 01:03:13

Prayers for your council tax situation, Dontstep... (I can't call you Momey when there are no MomeRaths in your name! wink). Also for BES and her DS, for Ginger and her thesis (BTDT, sending tons of sympathy...) and for our lovely MHD, of course.

Please can you pray for a colleague of mine who had had a mysterious bleed on his brain. Not sure what it is yet - could be very serious indeed, could be just 'normally' serious, don't think it's trivial... Really hoping he's OK.

blackeyedsusan Thu 06-Dec-12 07:44:18

8 days to ados.

Dontstep we had problems with two councils saying that they had sent us forms when they never turned up despite chasing. I doubt that they were ever sent. My DH managed to find electronic versions of both forms online and sent them in. The council couldn't ignore us then and both councils paid money that they owed us.

TUO praying for your colleague. Sounds scary. Does he have a DW or DC's?

Please continue to pray for my friend who is feeling very low. I don't know any more details and it doesn't seem appropriate to ask.

Could I ask for you to pray for me and my family? I'm struggling with hyperemesis and DH is holding everything together but it's hard for him to do his study and 'be me' as well. I'm going back to bed now having taken another dose of anti-sickness that makes me sleepy.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 06-Dec-12 09:21:53

It's all go! Good to see you sticking around room. Definitely praying for an improvement in your symptoms.

How awful Tuo! I hope they get the answers quickly and it settles without any repercussions.

Don'tstep you have my sympathies. We had loads of problems with the council as students. We sent in our student exemption forms several times but they kept sending threatening letters about CCJs! It did take two of us going down in the end to get it sorted! Praying your letter does the trick.

I'd like prayer please - I've got a bug from work (d&v, mostly d with stomach cramps). I'm off work and trying to decide if I'll be well enough for nights at the weekend (probably not).

blackeyedsusan Thu 06-Dec-12 09:55:24

48 hours... faith. you will not be well enough if you still have diarrhoea.. I hope you feel better soon though..

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 06-Dec-12 10:11:00

Well I don't start til 7pm and so far, no diarrhoea this morning but still getting stomach cramps. I think realistically I won't be well. If I ring in this morning it'll give them time to get cover. I think I'll phrase it as such and say If I have a miraculous recovery tomorrow I'll let you know!

DutchOma Thu 06-Dec-12 10:38:29

Faith I hope you have rung work and said you will not be well enough. You want to be a bit careful in your condition. smile
Room prayers. Lost count on what number dc you are expecting?

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 06-Dec-12 10:42:23

Yes, I have rung in! I am improving but I can't imagine running round on nights in two days' time. Quiet weekend at home for me!

DutchOma Thu 06-Dec-12 10:55:35

Good for you Faith

HaveYourselfAMerryLilXmasBaby Thu 06-Dec-12 11:42:11


What do you think? I dislike the xmas rather than Christmas but otherwise it won't fit!

blackeyedsusan Thu 06-Dec-12 14:04:25

off to see the head teacher.

Praying for meeting with Headteacher to be helpful in some way, BES.

DO I'm very blush that you have lost count of the number of babies we've had. Currently carrying DC4. I feel like we've been greedy and that I don't deserve all the help that DH has sorted out for me. Also feeling very guilty for still being pg after my friend's loss. At least I have a lovely Christian midwife who is referring me to the consultant in the hope that I will be actively monitored and treated for pre-term birth if necessary. That wouldn't have happened where we were living before.

DutchOmainthestable Thu 06-Dec-12 17:15:21

You've been away too long. I think it is dd1,dd2,ds, am I right?

I got my Christmas gift today and am very pleased. Will leave it wrapped till Christmas Day, if I can contain my curiosity.

Hope the meeting with the headteacher went well BES

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Thu 06-Dec-12 17:33:33

I got mine yesterday! Cried a bit for the luffliness of it all! It's under the tree smile

Hope the meeting was good bes!

I don't think I'll be 48 hours clear by Saturday night somehow confused so ringing in was the right decision. Thanks for the encouragement!

Room I start to think more than 4 is greedy! smile think of yourself as blessed!

Glad you got your present DO you truly deserve it!

Praying for everyone and specially thinking of mhd hope so recovers quickly to celebrates Christmas at home this year!

CharlotteCollinsislost Thu 06-Dec-12 20:44:02

What Blue said. On both counts! grin

blackeyedsusan Thu 06-Dec-12 22:19:50

mum is going into respite... but we are now trying to sort out getting her bck home again.. on the last day of term... eek! it is reducing me to tears again.

the meeting was difficult.

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Thu 06-Dec-12 22:22:28

I think that's wise for a short time until whatever this is settles bes. Praying for a long term plan.

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Fri 07-Dec-12 08:31:05

Morning all. Can we add this lady and family from this thread to our prayers lists please? She's a believer but obviously struggling with the situation.

DutchOmainthestable Fri 07-Dec-12 11:11:21

Oh dear I "know" Lewisfan.
Another one for the prayer diary:
One of the people that came in through our homelessness ministry, but who now has a regular job told of a colleague whose wife had gone into hospital to have a baby and who had been called in because the baby had died in the womb. And this was the second time that had happened. Baby dying at term. They belong to a church in nearby town.

How awful, DO. Praying for them and for Lewisfan to find the peace of The Lord in distressing situations.

Will you pray for me, please? DH is due to go and sort our house out for a tenant this weekend but I will have to stay here with the children. I wouldn't mind but I feel awful. The anti-sickness meds I'm on are helpful but very sedating so I won't be able to take as much without DH around.

amberlight Fri 07-Dec-12 19:58:25

Prayers aplenty

blackeyedsusan Sat 08-Dec-12 09:30:01

oh help, ds has disabled internet access in windows. he has been clicking on random things. I have discovered that I can use the other operating system thingy on the computer but it is a bit peculiar and the writing is a lot smaller. not good for those challenged by eyesight and ams that are too short grin (not that long arms will help on the computer...

I was going to suggest using Mozilla Firefox for your browsing as it's much more secure than IE anyway but not sure how you'll get it downloaded without IE! Can you go to the control panel and check out your Internet settings there or does that not help?

A little encouragement (well a big one for me, anyway)... I didn't feel overwhelmingly nauseous when I woke up so I've eaten a whole bowl of cereal! And because I still feel reasonable, I'm about to have a bath (would like a shower but I can't stand for that long before I feel breathless and dizzy). I'm actually going to be properly clean for the first time this week blush

DontstepontheBaubles Sat 08-Dec-12 10:21:44

I use Google Chrome so I can't help. I used to use Firefox but I prefer Chrome these days.

That's great Room! I do not miss the nausea in those early days at all. Make the most of it x

DutchOmainthestable Sat 08-Dec-12 10:28:47

Can you get at sytem restore? and set it back to an earlier time? Pretty useless at this sort of thing.

dingdongMadHairDayonhigh Sat 08-Dec-12 14:45:52

Just trying to type on phone. This pneumonia is awful. Sat so low so on constant o2. Was so scared in night . C. ouldn't get breath . They ing well.for me. Please pray for me.

DontstepontheBaubles Sat 08-Dec-12 15:35:42

Oh MHD sad Praying for you lovely. I'd be scared too. Hope you have a panic button close to hand, that you can reach sad

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Sat 08-Dec-12 16:12:07

Oh mhd what a nightmare! Praying for health and a full recovery, not just from this but your ongoing health problems.

I am on the mend thankfully. Ventured all the way to Tesco today! reckon I'll be fit to go back to work - officially from Monday, in reality from Wednesday.

blackeyedsusan Sat 08-Dec-12 16:23:57

praying mhd

mum is lonely and upset, but safe in a care home. I feel like the evil daughter...

TuoComeOComeEmmanuel Sat 08-Dec-12 16:40:06

Have been thinking about you and praying MHD. Hope you're feeling better very soon. (And I hope you didn't mind my mentioning on here that you were in hospital. I did think twice, but thought that the more prayers we could send in your general direction the better.)

Thinking of you too, BES. Please don't feel bad. You cannot look after your mum at your place, and she cannot stay on her own at the moment, and you have done the best possible thing, which is to ensure that she's in a place where she's safe and has the care that she needs, while also allowing you to be there for your DCs.

Glad you're feeling better, Faith.

I'm just back from my Quiet Day. I was surprised that it was not as quiet as I had expected - both because some of the participants clearly struggled with the idea of quiet, and because there was a lot of talking (by the leader, not the audience...) built in. However, it has left me with lots to think about, and despite not being as quiet as I thought it would be, was still about a gazilliontrillion time more peaceful than my usual Saturdays, which has got to be a good thing, right? So prayers of thanks for my day, for it's organisers, and for all the participants.

TuoComeOComeEmmanuel Sat 08-Dec-12 18:24:45

Oops! Spelling! That should be '... for its organisers' of course!

TuoComeOComeEmmanuel Sat 08-Dec-12 20:29:22

And could I add a prayer for 'ThinkingItThrough' who has started a couple of threads on this board, and would like prayers as she struggles with the break-up of her relationship? Thanks.

cloutiedumpling Sat 08-Dec-12 22:19:00

Lurking and praying, praying and lurking

janglebells2013 Sun 09-Dec-12 13:48:48

also lurking and praying. we miss you and thinking of you mhd xo

DontstepontheBaubles Sun 09-Dec-12 18:26:21

I'm getting so horribly nervous about an appointment on Tuesday and the possible associated treatment. I have a thread on here in chat about it. Can you pray if you think of me then?

Times like this I wish I was a man hmm

janglebells2013 Sun 09-Dec-12 19:49:18

hon couldnt find your thread but will be praying

cloutiedumpling Sun 09-Dec-12 20:39:34

Could I ask for prayers for A? She has been diagnosed with breast cancer which has spread elsewhere. The doctors were going to give her only palliative care but have now decided to give her intensive treatment. She has a young DC.

Praying for A and for Dontstep. Dontstep, why don't you try talking to your mum if you need her this much? You are her daughter and she will want to be there for you. You might need to ignore her nonsense or put her straight swiftly but at least she would be there for you.

blackeyedsusan Sun 09-Dec-12 21:37:18

oh yes.. finger up the bum to check the postate gland, oh and do you know how they treat it? (ouch) hmm

generally though they do have it a bit easier... good luck baubles!

DontstepontheBaubles Sun 09-Dec-12 21:44:58

Tis complicated. The stately homes thread has the pleasure of my Company often.

DontstepontheBaubles Sun 09-Dec-12 21:52:40

BES they so do! After all the prodding, poking, intervention in my labours and after care etc. I'm only 34 and I've had more than enough of medical professionals seeing my nether regions <harrumph> I want to yell 'leave me alone!'

cloutiedumpling Sun 09-Dec-12 22:38:17

Praying for you Dontstep. I think men get it easy too.

TuoComeOComeEmmanuel Mon 10-Dec-12 01:05:25

Saw your other thread, Momey. Praying for a good outcome. Is there anyone else (a good friend) who could come with you on Tuesday... not necessarily to witness the Nether Prodding (which sounds like a village in the Cotswolds, or something wink!) but just to be with you beforehand and afterwards.

Also praying very much for MHD, today.

blackeyedsusan Mon 10-Dec-12 07:53:41

(do you not do sarcastic understatement? )

due a smear and putting it off so I shall be agreeing more wholeheartedly when that comes round!

blackeyedsusan Mon 10-Dec-12 07:55:53

prayiing mhd. prayed a lot in the night too. ds uses me as a pillow so he wakes me every now and then.

amberlight Mon 10-Dec-12 16:55:31

Prayers aplenty all round.

Cloutie, v glad they're trying intensive therapy for A. A number of the new sorts are very effective.

blackeyedsusan Mon 10-Dec-12 21:20:32

feeling a bit peculiar. the head ahad an informal word about ds's behaviour. I have had to meet with the head recently re the family situation and dv, and a lot of the strange feelings have been stirred up again. unfortunately talking to the head seems now to be associated with the time I had to tell him I had run away in fear of my life and that dd might be a little upset at the disappearance of daddy. having someone telling you your child is misbehaving is not pleasant either.

DutchOmainthestable Mon 10-Dec-12 21:44:30

Sounds you have every reason to feel a bit 'peculiar' BES. The dv is bad enough, but the fall-out from it and the effect on the children must be worse.
How much do you feel people are trying to help? How much are they helping in reality. Do you think they could do more to help?

blackeyedsusan Mon 10-Dec-12 21:55:17

oh and just remembered tht we have ados on friday, though no results for a while.

blackeyedsusan Mon 10-Dec-12 22:04:45

we are waiting for the autistic obs on friday DO. (sorry missed your post) then school will know more about what they are dealing with.

I am not sure what else to do really. my coussin is helping with the finances with mum. mums db and dsil are visiting her, and helped get her in a home. I have to ring social care to get an assessment of needs.

ds played up in church on sunday so it was a bit difficult. not helped by someone insisting on talking to him when asked not too.

I am particularly pissed off that I am having these meetings as a result of what h did. he is getting awway with it, it feels. church have recently found out that I am separated but have made no comment as yet, otherr than it must be difficult, which is unsettling.... sometimes it feels that being separated comes with pariah status.

I am hormonal, don't sleep much and forgot to ring mum today as i was so tired I slept for 3 hours then had to go and get the children. I feel guilty.

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Mon 10-Dec-12 22:29:45

Oh bes you have so much to deal with! Praying that things settle as time goes on and wisdom to manage the situations you face.

Praying for A and the difficult situation the family face.

I'd appreciate prayer. It's my 20 week scan and I am apprehensive about it and especially for health problems with the baby. I suspect in part it's because my two friends lost babies some way along (the one I mentioned who had her little girl still born at 35 weeks and my friend who lost her twins at about 25 weeks) but I'd like prayer I can entrust this pregnancy and the baby to God's hands.

Praying as I read and for those as I see the OP.

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Mon 10-Dec-12 22:30:15

(Scan is tomorrow afternoon).

TuoComeOComeEmmanuel Tue 11-Dec-12 00:34:05

Praying for all who need prayers tonight, but especially for...
BES - for all the many things for which you feel responsible to be manageable and for you to find help and support when you most need it; thinking especially of your mum and MIL, as well as of you and your DC.
MHD - for an improvement to your health (I hope you're well enough to read this, but if not, I know you know that you're in our prayers).
Faith - for the scan to go well tomorrow and to bring you positive and reassuring news; thinking too of your friends in their loss and grief and praying that they will know comfort.
A - for successful treatment of her cancer, and for strength for her family.
Momey -for tomorrow's tests to go smoothly and for your stress to be reduced and for you to know peace of mind.
Jan, Kaykat, Charlotte, ThinkingItThrough and anyone struggling with relationship issues.

Thanks to all who prayed for my colleague. He seems to be making a good recovery.

I've been looking at the SPCK website, where there are some good prayers, and I thought I'd share this one for tonight:

"O God, of your goodness, give us yourself, for only in you do we have all." (Julian of Norwich)

janglebells2013 Tue 11-Dec-12 12:49:35

praying for all the requests thinking of each of you xo

Prayers for everyone.

Please pray for me. I am struggling with homesickness as Christmas approaches.

janglebells2013 Tue 11-Dec-12 14:26:54

oh PA sorry to hear that, and its completely understandable. can you get onto skype much with your family? youre doing a great work

Mome hope you are ok

does anyone speak french in here? i would love a translation for a french worship song.

TuoComeOComeEmmanuel Tue 11-Dec-12 14:47:55

I speak French Jan, but won't be able to look at it till tonight. PM me if you want me to look at it for you.

blackeyedsusan Tue 11-Dec-12 14:54:54

how did it go faith?

dingdongMadHairDayonhigh Tue 11-Dec-12 15:11:07

Praying as I read through . Thankyou so much for support on this and my other thread . God bless you all

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Tue 11-Dec-12 15:14:33

Am in waiting room now! They are running early but DH isn't here yet so I've asked them to wait! smile

janglebells2013 Tue 11-Dec-12 15:18:44

great hearing from you mhd God bless you too and hope you are starting to feel better and if not that God is comforting and helping you through it all

OCome praying for a special experience and all to be well

dh was supposed to ring me at 2.45. he has already let me down yesterday and the weekend regarding talking to me about christmas plans (which i emailed him about over a month ago) he hasn't rang and im fighting the disappointment and anxiety. i just want to get things sorted, why should i have to keep badgering him. he's the one that suggested the time.

ChristmasKat Tue 11-Dec-12 16:31:58

It's me Kay, thanks for prayers and praying for you all.
I had a bad weekend, can't even bear to talk about it. My H was very abusive.

janglebells2013 Tue 11-Dec-12 16:48:57

hugs Kay. im really sorry. i wish you could just leave him, but i know its much easier said than done. you deserve so much more. is there anything that can help you to feel better in the short term, like talking to a friend, or getting a cosy night with some treats in for yourself, or just something to help you feel better? please be kind to yourself.

they just like to control everything. dh still hasn't rung, he knows im waiting on him and that Christmas is basically down to his cooperation. totally fed up with him.

OComeAllYeFaithBaby Tue 11-Dec-12 18:26:41

Oh kay I'm so sorry you had a bad weekend. Praying for change.

I've had my scan, one healthy baby! She wasn't keen to write the sex down. Difficult to see due to baby positioning but it looks like we're having a little girl! grin

blackeyedsusan Tue 11-Dec-12 20:14:25

sometimes it is too much to say what is wrong. I have posted before with no details til I am up to talking about it. (((hugs))) kay