Christian Prayer Thread

(797 Posts)

All welcome to join or post a prayer request. Thinking especially of Expat at this time.

This below list is just what I've summarised from reviewing the last months post, please add any requests I've missed or if I've made an error, please correct it:

Amberlight - Prayers for dh and Amber?s small business and that all will be resolved after Mr Stalker was caught on camera outside her house and arrested
Bluetinkerbell - lost her beloved Sterre during her second trimester. Now 23 weeks pregnant again, prayers for peace and for this lovely healthy baby girl
Dontsteponthemomeraths (A.K.A teaandcakeplease) - Prayers especially for her lovely man (LM) as the court case heads to High Court in September. That God would make a way, where there is no way, help him to afford the court fees and that he will finally have the closure; contact with his children and a maintenance agreement in place that is fair to him, his ex wife and to the children. For justice. It?s 6 years since divorce due to her infidelity and it is so hard for him. The children and ex wife live in another Country and the legal system there is very different and he barely sees his children due to her. Prayers that he has freedom from his past and doesn?t live in it anymore but breaks free and moves forward in all God has for him
Also for her DD who is struggling especially lately with not seeing her Dad as much as she?d like and wishing they lived all together and weren?t divorced sad
DutchOma - Prayers for Bob, his health, the support for DO and respite care to be put in place. To see more of DGCs in the coming weeks and for Zac to get more comfortable around Grandad and her DD to not be too reluctant to visit with the grandchildren
Expat - God to hold the whole family in his arms, as they deal with the tragic loss of their beautiful daughter Aillidh
FriendofDorothy - That completion on the house they are trying to buy, happens soon and that they get all work on the new house completed, before the baby is due in December
HaveALittleFaith - Prayers for her to loose weight and get an op date soon for a blockage in her urinary tract, so she can exercise and so she can be referred for IVF and for her relationship with God to strengthen, despite the struggles and disappointments she has suffered, that she would feel God?s presence and her H
For her friend and her H who?s baby was still born at the beginning of July.
Jan2011 - Prayers for her marriage, her H?s treatment of her to change and clarity and wisdom for Jan about the future. And for her voluntary job and the training
JugglingWithTangentialOranges - For a refreshing and inspiring break this weekend in the Lakes, prayers for her marriage, her H to talk to her with respect and DS to not mimic him and less arguing in the car too smile
Kaykat - For safety, protection and strength at this difficult time in her marriage and a way out and to find a church that is right for her
Lostmywellies - For the move next Weds, Prayers for her marriage and her H?s new behaviour to be sustainable and he stops minimising her feelings
Madhairday - For her lungs to hold out as she goes to New Wine and good weather. For her DD starting Senior school in Sept and for the support, help and understanding from the teachers with her Dyspraxia and Psoriasis she needs
MaryBS - To have favour and peace this school holiday, and that she finds lots to do without money to keep both her children entertained and without people judging DS?s behaviour. Also for her DD who was meant to be going away with the youth group and has been let down
NCIS - Prayers as she starts the open university student paramedic course
PatsyPlusOne - Her friend who has lost her 11 year old son to cancer and the 8 year old brother left behind missing him
PositiveAttitude - Prayers as they follow God?s call that they settle and are happy in this new Country and become immune to the mosquitoes wink, also especially for DS and DD4 to adjust and back at home for DD1, DD2 And DD3, especially DD1 who is really struggling with being "mum & dad-less? And for PA?s Dad who is an Atheist and has started going to church with her Mum, who has Alzheimer?s lately
Redwhiteandblueeyedsusan - Prayers for her as she copes as a lone parent and for her DS and the long road to assessment for Autism. For her DD who has been removed from the sen register despite her needing help for a lifelong condition. DD?s IEP was reviewed without parental involvement, contrary to the sen code of practice, that God will be with BES as she gets official with the school and that her DD would get the help and support she needs and that the head teacher takes BES?s concerns seriously and stops fobbing her off
SESthebrave - For the daughter of a friend from church, who had been sectioned and is now back home with her 2 DS?s and really struggling with depression and her mum who is travelling long distances to support her and the children at this difficult time.
For SES?s friend who had an Ovarian cyst removed which was malignant and has now had to have a hysterectomy, for her husband and her to feel peace at this difficult time
TribbleWithoutACause - DH?s one and only set of car keys turn up
TUO - to find ways of working more efficiently, so she can sleep more but still get lots done, that God would lift her from the stress and tiredness and that she gets everything done before her holiday
Weegie - Thank God that treatment is bringing some relief to her condition Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy. Ongoing prayers for more improvement and adjusting to a new way of life for both weegie and her DH. DD has Perthe's syndrome , where the hip joint dies then regrows. Thank God for an improvement in her condition and further improvements so no op is needed.

No idea why MN has changed all ' to a ?

I prepared it in Word first, if that has something to do with it? Never mind.

It's my DD's 5th birthday tomorrow, we have planned a Princesses picnic in the park, with 5 of her girlfriends from school, so I'm hoping it doesn't rain smile

madhairday Fri 27-Jul-12 12:07:59

Thanks so much momeraths, that is brilliant and so helpful to be able to read through prayerfully.

Packing for NW - v excited smile

amillionyears Fri 27-Jul-12 12:12:10

Can you add lazyhazyDaisy to your list please.
There have been about 3 threads concerning her,her mental health issues,and the mental health system in general.
Thank you.
And hope you and DD and friends have a lovely time tomorrow.

Kaykat's post on the old thread:

Feeling very very low the past couple of days.

H got back together with OW although she won't leave her husband but H seems happy to share her until she changes her mind! When I told him I wanted to separate he was surprised but is happy about it because it gives him more freedom to see OW. Still living together at the moment but he's not around much. Such a mess.

I keep getting weak moments wishing everything could be like it used to be. So sad for DS with such a dramatic change in his dad. Does anyone know how long after something like this you start feeling better? I have been feeling ill every day since I found out what was going on and that's well over a month.

I can't see a way through this or how I can have a happy future or how to deal with the threats re DS, he is not a young child, he is starting to get independent and has always admired and done whatever his dad says.

DutchOma Fri 27-Jul-12 13:10:32

Momeraths, that is wonderful, thank you so much. I know I have done it in the past and thought I should do it again, but just didn't have the energy. So bless you and happy birthday for tomorrow for dd. Hoping that it doesn't rain then or on MY birthday picnic on Sunday. Ds will bring an instant barbecue and I won't have to do any catering. Dd and all the grandchildren will be there.

Kaykat It does get easier with time, also with space, he needs to move out really, so you can have a safe place to grieve the loss of your marriage sad You also need boundaries at this painful time. He cannot carry on as he used to, if he's chosen the OW, his life with you is over and he needs to move out and have specific times for contact with DS. That will help you a lot.

It's actually taken me almost 3 years to reach a place of complete freedom from my ExH sad And to feel fully recovered and whole. The recovery process takes time, as you work through the loss, pain, hurt and despair and get to acceptance and hope for the future it's a long road.

It's an emotional roller coaster in the beginning. I needed counselling and anti depressants. I remember the sleepless nights, the inability to eat, the crazy midnight phone calls begging him to come back to me, loosing the plot with my kids because I was struggling so much sad There are no short cuts to recovery, you have to go through each stage, at your own pace. But it DOES get better I promise you. You will need good friends to talk to over and over, you will need a sound boarding to talk to, as you take the next steps. Your child's Grandparents, friends and Godparents will have an important role to play to, in providing comfort, support, boundaries and security at this time to them.

Take all the help you can get and be kind to yourself. There is hope, it does get better I promise. Please speak to your GP if you need to. Mine was great and speak to a solicitor as soon as possible. They offer a free session and you will discover where you stand and that his threats regarding contact with your child aren't true and won't stand up in court and that will bring you peace x

If you can afford it, some play therapy with a child psychotherapist is wonderful for children. Everyone trots out the old cliché about children being resilient, but it is important not to under estimate the effect it has on them and to get them help too. There are great books out there too, for you to read with them, when you're ready.

My DD still struggles, I put it in the list below, underneath LM for prayer. It's hard as you feel so guilty but it's not your fault. All we can do is love them, let them talk and try to never speak badly of their Dad in front of them. Hard at times in the beginning sad

Marking my spot here. TOo exhausted at the moment to post much, but prayers for everyone. THanks for the new thread Mom and prayers appreciated for all my family.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Fri 27-Jul-12 16:35:08

fantastic mome! well done.

MaryBS Fri 27-Jul-12 19:41:15

Prayers

amberlight Fri 27-Jul-12 21:10:46

Thanks for new thread smile though Mr Stalker was warned by police, as we understand it, but not arrested. He's behaved since, so maybe that's all it took.
Much prayer for all, and thank you to everyone for your prayers during the last months.

FriendofDorothy Fri 27-Jul-12 23:03:48

Just checking in so I don't lose the thread!

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Fri 27-Jul-12 23:04:21

torch watching the opening cerronomy and off to watch the football tomorrow. eek torch

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sat 28-Jul-12 00:46:11

ooops fell asleep on the sofa somewhere in the s's of the parade and missed gb. did see the flames lit though... and so did dd as I scooped her up off te floor to take her to bed. gone and evicted the childrens dad from my bed where he was putting ds to sleep. better go and set the alarm. ... eek.

I shall watch it all on iplayer today or tomorrow. I didn't watch it at all last night. Too busy preparing for DDs birthday today and she woke at 5.30am in her excitement <yawn> smile So I'm so glad I didn't let her stay up to watch it.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sat 28-Jul-12 07:42:25

<yawn>

Happy birthday minimome

<yawn> ds was taken to bed.

MissAnnersley Sat 28-Jul-12 12:36:01

I would really like to join this thread if that's okay? Have been very affected by recent events on MN and have 'rediscovered' prayer.

DutchOma Sat 28-Jul-12 13:03:03

You are very welcome Miss Annersley. Recent events on MN, especially the life and death of Aillidh have given us all a lot to think about. Whether we are new in prayer, old in prayer or re-discover prayer, it is an enormous force to be reckoned with.

MissAnnersley Sat 28-Jul-12 13:17:47

Thank you so much DutchOma. I was brought up as a devout Christian but got lost a bit. I've made repeated attempts to re-engage with my faith and am beginning to 'feel' it again IYSWIM?

I've now got a few prayers which I say in the morning and evening which are helping.

SESthebrave Sat 28-Jul-12 13:40:46

Welcome MissAnnersley smile Trying to say a few prayers regularly is brilliant - I seem to have lost my prayer routine somewhat and it tends to be very ad hoc or prompted by reading this thread.

Happy birthday to your DD MomeRaths smile

Amber - I hope that's the last of your problems with Mr Stalker.

Continued prayers for you all - particularly thinking of PA, DO, Lost, KayKat, Jan and anyone else in particular need.

I'm feeling very angry and stressed this morning as the post has arrived including my payslip for my monthly salary due on Monday and it is a complete mess. My maternity pay doesn't seem to have been registered properly and according to the payslip, I owe my company money which is completely incorrect and leaves me with no salary going in on Monday. I have emailed the regional admin assistant to get is sorted and I know she will (she's a friend) and that it wasn't her fault in the first place as she's only been my regional admin since a week before I left for ML. I just want to get cross with someone and can't. I know that's silly as getting cross is not constructive or christian but it's how I'm feeling. Please pray for me to get over it and for a quick resolution!

Found you again! Praying for everyone!

amberlight Sat 28-Jul-12 18:07:23

SES, oh no! Hope they can sort it out fast...

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sat 28-Jul-12 21:31:06

<crawls over threshold of thread>

<lies on floor gently whimpering>

we are back. with 2 children and both behaved very well. no toys were thrown no major tantrums. thank God! for answered prayers. one girl safe and watched over. thanks be to God!

we are still trying to get children to bed... ds is refusing tea... which is hardly surprising as he ate his weight in chocolate biscuits.. blush as a bribe to keep him well behaved ish.

lostmywellies Sat 28-Jul-12 23:02:34

Oh good, bes! Did you enjoy it? Or just survive it?

Praying as I read through or at least glancing in God's direction every now and then.

Very tired. Packing up a house is not easy, particularly when you're doing the bulk of the work yourself with 4 dcs aged 2 and up to look after all day as well...

Oh well. Roll on Wednesday which is moving day!

Oh dear SES prayers that it will get sorted out really quickly for you.

This morning (it s now nearly 6pm here) we decided to go to a different church after quite a disappointing church trip last week which had both DCs begging us never to go there again. Last week's was a vibrant, large International church which we thought would be good for the DCs and would have lots going on for them, but the first 40 minutes was all worship songs and standing up for that long in this heat was off-putting for Dcs before they even got to their youth groups.
ANyway, today we chose a small "house" church which we had heard of. We were very warmly greeted at the door and it was so relaxed and friendly. The service was relaxed and informal and the speaker got everyone involved and adding their bits in. It was just like a lovely friendly house group meeting. We then all stayed and had lunch together. I was unsure how the DCs would be as there were a number of smaller children, but no other teenagers. When the children went to their groups I asked if either wanted to go out to "help" with the smaller children, but both chose to stay in for the whole service. I sort of thought they would be bored but they thoroughly enjoyed the interaction and the fact that everyone was included. They were treated so well and treated with respect and love just like one of the adults. On the way home DS (who is the hardest to please in these sort of things) asked if we could carry on going there and definitely go back next week. Success!!! Thank you God!!

Mosquito bites are abating, another thank you God.

Prayers for everyone on here. smile

QUick prayer request - DS was awake a lot last night because he heard "noises". He has just found a "huge" (probably not that huge, really) rat in his bedroom. Lots of screaming, banging and flustering about and he has now decided to stay in the guest room tonight. Please pray that Mr Rat does not have a family with him and that we can evict him tomorrow during daylight. (now dark here, so will have to wait til tomorrow now) Also pray that DH and I can sleep in our bed as we are next door and the "wall" does not reach the floor or ceiling, so plenty of space for a limbo dancing rat to invade our room. hmm Good night all!!! grin

Trap and peanut butter? grin

How do I ask to buy a rat trap in Cambodian? grin I actually do have some peanut butter, but my jar is going to have to last me 11 months, so I don't intend to share it with anyone a bloomin house invading rat! shock grin

DutchOma Sun 29-Jul-12 14:11:48

Combination of sign language and pictures PA?

Google translate and print it out? In case your accent confuses them? wink

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sun 29-Jul-12 17:28:38

dad dying, please pray

rushed to hospital at 6 am only just got phone call as we were out all day. driving 60 miles to hospital tonight.

pray for child care and that i get to see him. children just eating tea.

oooh bes sad praying! hugs for you!

amberlight Sun 29-Jul-12 18:02:19

BES, hecky heck...huge prayers....

MaryBS Sun 29-Jul-12 18:21:11

Prayers also from me, BES, God go with you and yours...

SESthebrave Sun 29-Jul-12 20:51:32

Praying here too BES ((((hugs))))

cloutiedumpling Sun 29-Jul-12 21:33:12

BES - praying

PA - Erk! Hope you have success in evicting Mr Rat tomorrow. I hear that you need wire wool or something else metal to block any holes to the outside as rats will eat through absolutely anything.

Tuo Mon 30-Jul-12 00:16:12

Thanks for the new thread, Momeraths.

BES I am so sorry to hear this. Praying for you and your family and for a safe journey. Wish there was something useful that I could say, but please know that you are in my thoughts.

PA Great news about the church, but not so good about Mr Rodent. [shudder] Good luck with that one.

lost Praying for an easy move... or at least as easy as it can possibly be.

SES Praying that all gets sorted out very soon for you.

Welcome MissAnnersley.

Still on holiday. Having a great time and feeling much more chilled and (almost) ready to go back and face the work backlog! Went to church in Iona Abbey this morning, which was very special. Even more so because I vaguely mentioned to dh yesterday that I had thought about going, expecting him to be really negative about the idea (at least suggesting that it would be interfering with our holiday, etc., if not being overtly disparaging) and instead he was positively encouraging. So let that be a lesson to me in not prejudging, eh! wink blush OK, so it's still a long way to him coming along, but him being even vaguely positive (he also inquired afterwards whether it had been a good service...) is not to be sniffed at. Hooray!

Lit a candle in memory of Aillidh, too.

DutchOma Mon 30-Jul-12 06:33:32

BES sent a message at 22.15 last night which I only picked up this morning:
Her ddad had a stroke and is very poorly in hospital. She managed to see him last night and is staying with her mother with the children. Her mother is obviously very shaken and her blood pressure is up.

MaryBS Mon 30-Jul-12 08:11:26

Prayers BES

amberlight Mon 30-Jul-12 08:25:03

Keeping prayers going...

FriendofDorothy Mon 30-Jul-12 10:41:48

Hi everyone. Prayers would be apperciated. I have my 20 week scan on Wednesday and I am getting a bit anxious about it. Also, my cousin's wife who is due a few days before me had her 20-week scan and there is the possibility that the baby has heart problems. Please pray for them, and that my own anxiety with ease.

Prayers for you FOD, for your cousin and the 2 babies!

Prayres for BES and her family.

Prayer of thanks, please for a dead rat! grin We were all awake for most of the night listening to Mr Rat eat his way through DS's wardrobe (I secretly prayed it would fall on top of him and kill him so that I could sleep! blush ) ANyway, a rat man came this morning and we returned home to a dead specimen. Some sleep tonight for us all would be very welcome!

Kaykat Mon 30-Jul-12 17:53:39

Welcome MissAnnersley you are in good company on this thread, lots of lovely people supporting each other even though struggling with their own problems.

MissAnnersley Mon 30-Jul-12 18:16:36

Thanks. Am going to take some time to read all the posts properly now as DS is out and the house is quiet.

DutchOma Mon 30-Jul-12 22:25:00

Had a message from BES earlier this evening saying:
"Been to hospital. Brain swelling worse. Got to wait 24-48 hours before they can tell more. He won't fully recover and probably never leave hospital. May still deteriorate and die."

Tuo Mon 30-Jul-12 23:24:02

Thanks for the update, Oma. Have been thinking about BES all day.

Still praying...

jan2011 Tue 31-Jul-12 08:00:28

praying BES

Welcome MissA smile lovely bunch here

ive been very tired last few days and feel so down - im constantly confused about what to do with my marriage and just need Gods guidance and help.

Kaykat Tue 31-Jul-12 11:03:31

Prayers for everyone on here going through terrible things.

As for me, strong one day and a wreck the next that's how it seems to be at the moment.

OW finished with H again but that doesn't help me because he wanted to and tried very hard to start a new life with her and will probably get back with her if she's willing.

Is he still living with you? You need to walk away from this drama triangle my love. So you can move on with you life. You deserve more.

You need to read this book Kaykat: www.amazon.co.uk/Not-Under-Bondage-Biblical-Desertion/dp/0980355346/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_nC?ie=UTF8&colid=18CBM1YHOXCJR&coliid=I189GZTCTLC998 I keep harping on about it, I'm sorry but you need to read it. You can download a kindle app for an iphone and then read it on the sly on there, if you do not want your H to see you reading it x

Kaykat Tue 31-Jul-12 13:54:01

I can't force him to leave and don't want to take DS away from his home it's been hard enough for him already not seeing his dad much the past couple of months.

amberlight Tue 31-Jul-12 13:58:18

Prayer request from BES via DO to my mobile just now - "Dad is slipping away"

Much prayer all round... sad

Kaykat, there aren't easy answers...but DS is seeing you being treated like dirt, and children tend to remember and repeat. What's been hard for him is his Dad's behaviour. You trying to minimise the damage is not wrong. Not saying you should decide either way - but I think your DS (as his older self) would want his mum happy and calm rather than living in this nightmare.... much prayer for you all.

messtins Tue 31-Jul-12 14:03:58

Can I add a request? My godmother Judy who has been just fantastic to me my whole life and is a big inspiration has been having chemo for leukaemia - she now has a zero white cell count and is extremely vulnerable to infection. Her white cell count is not recovering despite various treatments to try and stimulate her bone marrow. She's more or less banned from seeing her grandchildren because of infection risks. She's done so much for other people and remained faithful to God her whole life - and now she needs His help. Thank you.

SESthebrave Tue 31-Jul-12 14:51:18

Thanks for the BES update DO and *amber

messtins - hello! So sorry to hear about the tough time your lovely godmother is having. Prayers for God's strength, healing and love to surround her.

KayKat - prayers for you. I'm afraid I don't have advice but pray that God will show you the way forward.

Jan - praying for God's guidance for you too.

PA - praise for the dead rat. Hopefully he was alone and that is the end of the matter!

Please can I ask for continued prayers for my friend with cancer who should start her chemo this week. Also for my friend whose daughter is battling depression.

I would also really value your prayers and thoughts on the consideration I'm giving to completing a CCRS (Catholic Certificate of Religious Studies). This is something that I can complete online over 2 years with various modules, link here: http://brs-ccrs.org.uk/
I never thought I'd do any study of any type again but this is an area that interests me and something I could try and do the bulk of whilst on mat leave. I co-ordinate our RCIA group for the parish and am one of the catechists for the group so think I would benefit. The only queries I would have are how DH would respond to me doing it and the £75 per module cost and also whether I really do have the time to commit to doing it.

SESthebrave Tue 31-Jul-12 14:52:31

Sorry that link is CCRS

madhairday Tue 31-Jul-12 17:39:21

Just a quick pop in from new wine. Having an amazing time. Loving seeing god at work and experiencing his presence in awesome ways. Worshipping with thousands is v special. Praying for bes especially. Love to all

jan2011 Wed 01-Aug-12 08:38:41

oh have a great time mdh you lucky duck ! smile

praying for all the new prayer requests coming in

gingercurl Wed 01-Aug-12 11:41:02

Just checking in after spending two weeks with DS back home to see family and friends. Back in the UK now feeling somewhat at a loss as to where I'm heading and if I'm actually capable of completing this PhD. DH is not as supportive in practice as I need him to be, although he likes to think he is, and it seems his work takes precedence over anything I need/want to do. DS was something of a challenge while we were away, too, so am feeling a bit low over that as well. At times it was necessary for 4 of us adults to firmly tell him "no" before he finally got the message, e.g. not to climb over the fence into the animal enclosures at the zoo, not to jump in the sofa at other peoples' houses (he's not allowed at home so why he tried there I don't know), not to run into the street, not to kick the knees of the lady in front on the train, etc. It was lovely to be home, though.

Have skimmed through. will have a better read and pray later on.

DutchOma Wed 01-Aug-12 14:40:24

Message from BES

"Dad died at 1.20 this afternoon."

gingercurl Wed 01-Aug-12 14:47:24

So sorry for your loss BES. Praying.

MaryBS Wed 01-Aug-12 14:52:04

Prayers for you and yourse, BES

SES would the parish stump up the cost of the module, given they would benefit? Or maybe there are grants available?

Prayers for you as you cope with your DS, gingercurl. My two are settling down a bit since the end of term. DD has benefitted from some stress free relaxation time, and they've both had things to occupy them, so thank God for that! smile

I was told there'd be some activities laid on for the youth, as they couldn't go away. This has NOT happened. Is no-one reliable anymore?

FriendofDorothy Wed 01-Aug-12 16:28:53

Thanks for all your prayers. One very healthy and very wriggly baby boy!

Prayers for BES

Please please pray for DD1 and DD2. DD1's very good friend and workmate was killed in a car crash last evening. He was 20 years old.
DD2's workmate's son was stabbed to death last night.
They are both in pieces and we feel so far away. I just want to hug them both and take their hurt, frustration and anger away. sad

amberlight Wed 01-Aug-12 19:26:20

Much prayer, BES... sad

FoD - hurrah!!!

More prayers all round for all the other situations on here - goodness me re the car crash and stabbing, PA, that's awful shock

DutchOma Wed 01-Aug-12 19:37:07

After a week of wondering what would happen about the blood test that showed Bob had too much CO2 in his blood we got a phone call from Sharon, the Macmillan nurse to ask whether he would consider coming into our local hospice, so one of their consultants could have a look at him and, in consultation with the Brompton, decide what to do for the best. She said she didn;t know when a bed would be available, could be this week, or next, but after half an hour she phoned to say that there would be a bed tomorrow and an ambulance would pick him up some time in the morning.
So there is certainly an answer to prayer. It is not quite the respite care I am hoping for, but at least there is some movement in the right direction.

SESthebrave Wed 01-Aug-12 19:58:54

Praying for all those bereaved.
BES - so sorry for your loss. Praying for you and your family.
PA - how awful for your DDs. Praying for the victims, their families, your DDs and for your peace of mind being so far away. You really are not that far with the www.

DO - thanks for answer to prayer and for it to be hugely beneficial

Gingercurl - prayers for you, your DS and DH. Sorry I can't remember how old your DS is?

MHD - brilliant that you've had such an uplifting time at New Wine. I've never been but would love to some time. I think I'll have to wait until the DC are a bit older though!

MaryBS - thank you, I'd wondered about asking the parish to at least partially fund it. Seems a bit forward but no harm in asking I guess!

Tuo Wed 01-Aug-12 20:27:06

BES I am so sorry for your loss. I have been thinking about you lots and will keep you in my prayers at this sad time.

PA Also thinking of your dds and the other friends and family of those who have died.

DO Praying that Bob gets some answers very soon and that you get some respite too.

Gingercurl What is your PhD on? IME there is always a moment ( or several ) when you become convinced that you can't do it... but you have to keep working through it and it will come together in the end. Sounds like your ds was just reacting to being in a different place and trying it on to see how much he could get away with. Prayers that he'll get back to normal now you're all back at home.

FoD Fantastic news!

jan2011 Thu 02-Aug-12 12:47:24

really sorry BES thinking of you

DutchOma Thu 02-Aug-12 15:56:53

The ambulance came at 3 minutes past eight, just as I was stepping out of the shower. They gave me a few minutes to get decent then took us to the hospice, which is the most amazing place, with very friendly staff. He will be in there until at least after the weekend and then a few more days probably.

DD1's 21st birthday today. I am feeling a million miles from her. sad

BUT, after 3 days of solid visa complications and having to go from one office to another all over the city we are now sorted for travelling to Vietnam next Tuesday (it will be a 16hour day, most of it on a hot bus!!!) then return into the country on the correct visas.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Fri 03-Aug-12 22:32:10

thankyou for your prayers. I am having a short break catching up with the thread before resuming headless chicken mode to prepare for a party tomorrow. i have washing up that has been sitting there for several days and there were a few new life forms in the fridge (now in the bin) there was a potty or 2 that got neglected in the mad rush out the house but by far the worse thing was the primordial soup in the washing up bowl.... one does not expect water to be that viscous. it has been thoroughly scrubbed and had a couple of kettles of boiling water poured on it now.

how did the move go lost?

we were able to say goodbye to dad as he stopped breathing, started again and stopped. I had just given him a hug.mumhad had a hug for a long while. we were with him which is a comfort and were able to spend time with him after. he looked at peace and and we knew where he has gone which is a great comfort. the bloke at the chapel of rest in the hospital is a christian and was very positive in what he said about him being with the lord. (only after mum had said oas it would be unpc other wise)

all in all it could not have been a better end though I would have liked it to be in several years time not now of course. I think you prayers made a big difference.

we have still got an awful lot of work to do sorting out his affairs. and I am off back to Mums to sort out death certificates and forms and funerals and solicitors etc. etc etc after I have organised this damn party. I have got to do in 1 day stuff that took me 3 days to do last time. eek.

madhairday Sat 04-Aug-12 13:42:55

Oh BES. Sending you much love and prayer at this time.

DO. Much love to you also, and praying you know God's strength, comfort and all encompassing love. Praying that practical details will all be sorted better for you all.

Well, what an amazing week - have hardly had time to reflect on it all yet really. Suffice to say, I went there with a fairly bashed up faith due to recent events, but have come home so much more full of faith and encountered God in some profound ways. Friends were healed (not necc. physically though some were) - in fact on the second day I went into pain spasms in my chest, all felt hopeless. I was at a seminar and doubled up in two, I was thinking I would never survive the week. The speaker giving the seminar knows me and came up after, she knows me so well that she didn't immediately say 'let's pray for healing' bless her but just sat with me a bit. But she came back after a while and said 'would you like me to pray, just to get through the week?' I thought yes - how could I not?! - No praying for full healing of lungs and all that malarkey, just a gentle prayer for ease of pain. And you guessed it - the pain lifted, and didn't come back all week. I was in fact really, really well for me. Exhausted yes. I found actually it was in the times of worship God gave me the most strength physically. I'm still reeling from the reality of it all - God touches his people and loves us. It's flaming brilliant.

Can you tell I'm happy? smile

madhairday Sat 04-Aug-12 13:44:26

And had a great catch up with the most lovely PandaG smile

DutchOma Sat 04-Aug-12 13:46:56

Yes MHD, it shines through the post. So happy for you.

Prayer has worked for us once again too. Bob was much happier this morning and not that bothered when I said I wouldn't be back till Monday when dd and I will visit.

Praying for you BES.

That's great MHD smile

Can you pray for my DD and DS? They're away in Scotland with daddy, OW and FIL and MIL. Pray they do not miss me too much, have a nice time and have peace. This is a big thing, they've never gone away without me before and for 4 days. Their Dad bless him, doesn't know them as well as I do. Although perhaps after this he will, it's great bonding time, if he can manage to not shout at them hmm Just pray for protection for them. I am sitting here feeling most odd, like I am missing a limb.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sat 04-Aug-12 14:21:46

oh mome. you will need prayer too. they may be all out of sorts when they get home and you will need extra patience to get them settled.

HaveALittleFaith Sat 04-Aug-12 21:58:16

Hello all. I seemed to drop off the last thread and then went on holiday! I am back now. Started counting down the days til op date (48!). I'll have a browse through and catch up smile

HaveALittleFaith Sat 04-Aug-12 22:06:05

Wow a lot's happened in the last few days! My condolances bes, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm praying as I read and will continue to.

Hello,
I am allowed to just pop my head around the corner of this thread?

I know you wonderful ladies have prayed for my darling girl Beatrice before now. I just wondered if you would have the time to offer up some prayers of thanksgiving? Beatrice is doing so well, and I can't express my gratitude that this is the case. As I plan her first birthday party in 6 weeks, knowing that she 'shouldn't' be here, I want to thank God that he has given us, and allowed us to keep, such a precious gift. I feel that living with Beatrice is like living with a miracle.

If you have some spare prayers of thanks, please can you mention Beatrice by name? Thank you smile

Oh my goodness cup is she almost one? I can't believe it! Will definitely pray for your special girl!

MHD really happy for you to have had such an amazing week. I can see your face like this --- grin shining brightly from here!

DO I am pleased Bob is settled for a while. It must be such a relief for you to have this support now.

Cup a year!!!!! shock I often think and pray about Beatrice. I know God has been hearing her name a lot and loves to hear it, too. Have a fantastic party and I will continue to bring all your family before God in prayer. You have a very special family.

Mome prayers for you, DD and DS for the 4 days. Are you going to treat yourself?

BES - prayers for you over the coming days and weeks.

Prayers for everyone else that i have not mentioned in person. I often recall you and pray in the night for you.

Still lots of ups and downs here. No surprises thatits like that, but tough all the same. Life is so different. When I am feeling "down" its as if everything is an effort and takes a million times more than it did at home. When I am feeling "up" its all exciting. hmm BAck to the church we visited last week today. Prayers still appreciated as we settle here.

DutchOma Sun 05-Aug-12 06:33:19

Been thinking and praying for you Cup. You are quite right to come on the prayer thread to say thank you to God for your darling Beatrice and also for your other girls.

madhairday Sun 05-Aug-12 14:02:42

Cup of course we will join you in your prayers of thanksgiving for your lovely Beatrice smile Can't believe she is nearly one either!!

PA continuing to pray - praying that you'll feel more settled with church, that you will notice God working in all the small ways that make it obvious he is walking with you.

DO praying a lot for you.

Blue how are you feeling now? We're around this week and planning the town park one day if you're around at all?

Still walking on air here, though went to church and it felt a bit flat, but I think even the most amazing church would after that week grin About to watch the tennis now - wasn't it amazing last night with the three golds!

jan2011 Sun 05-Aug-12 17:56:30

im sorry i am not able to support people right now but i really need prayer today things came to a head at home, ive moved down to mums with the baby and told dh it is over - i am completely overwhelmed
worried about babys sleep here, worried about finding a house as can't stay here, worried about finances.

DutchOma Sun 05-Aug-12 18:04:16

We will join together in prayer for you. Don't worry too much, things will get sorted, the Lord has not left you in the lurch.

madhairday Sun 05-Aug-12 19:15:45

Oh Jan

Praying very much. God is walking with you and holding you. Keep taking steps and hang in there. Praying particularly that you will know peace from worry. I love the way The Message puts Philippians 4:

6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Praying that your worries will be 'shaped into prayers' and that you will have that sense of God's wholeness and that all will come together for good. God bless you and keep you.

amberlight Sun 05-Aug-12 19:55:48

Jan, can women's aid give you some ideas about local housing schemes and benefits etc? Much prayer. And for everyone else too.

jan2011 Sun 05-Aug-12 20:53:34

thank you so much - God has given me peace praise his lovely name - i just need direction as there are so many things that need sorting that are so scary for me when i have never dealt with any of them

Amber i am on the waiting list for housing but they said it can take over a year so i have to go myself to get private rent and i am clueless, i will ring WA tomorrow to see if they can help me

at the minute mum has baby downstairs as she won't go to sleep. she is unsettled in these new surroundings, she has white noise on - please pray she sleeps. thanks so much for prayer i really appreciate it. i had to turn phone off as dh been crying down it begging me not to leave asking me why ive done this to him and i feel totally terrible, i feel awful like the worst person.

No you're not. He will beg and cry and when you are back within weeks he will begin verbally abusing you again and treating you badly. Stay strong, your DD will have a better mummy when you're at peace and happy and not feeling rotten due to your H all the time x

Tuo Sun 05-Aug-12 23:51:24

Back from my jollies and had a wonderful time, but back to earth with a bump now - lots of catching up at work this week and no childcare, so could be interesting, to say the least! Went swimming this afternoon and now have got slight earache/dizziness, so hoping it's not going to turn into anything nasty.

Praying for all, but especially...
... jan - for practical help to be given to help sort out the housing situation; for dd to sleep; and for peace in knowing that you've done the right thing.
... PA - for settling-in to go smoothly, and for peace and happiness for your family, both those with you and those still here in the UK.
... Oma and Bob - for good care and better health for Bob and for some rest and recuperation for Oma.
... cupofteaplease - prayers for Beatrice as she approaches her first birthday; what an amazing thing!
... MHD - great to read you sounding so happy.
... momeraths - prayers for your children to have a good time with their dad and grandparents, for you not to worry too much about them, and for you to find ways to enjoy having some time to yourself.
... BES - thinking of you and your family a lot; I hope that the practicalities are not too onerous for you all.
... Faith - prayers for your forthcoming op.

So proud of dd2 this morning. There was a bit of an 'acolyte-crisis' and she was hastily 'promoted' from boat-bearer to acolyte two minutes before the service, with c. 1 minute's instruction. She kept her nerve, didn't set fire to her hair, the cathedral or any members of the congregation or clergy with her candle, and washed the Dean's hands without drowning him (which - judging by the state of the bathroom floor after she's been in there - was quite an achievement!). So well done to her!

Off to bed now. Please pray that my earache/dizziness has gone by the morning, as I have too much to do to be ill!

DutchOma Mon 06-Aug-12 07:23:21

TUO the earache and dizziness is most likely stress and will have gone this morning. If not, don't push it, have a day's rest which will probably save you a week's dizziness and worry.
I had a day all by myself yesterday and spoke (actually spoke) to nobody. Couple of chats on FB, couple of text messages, but not even the telephone went, the neighbours both side were away and I didn't speak to anyone. Weird.
But: I cleaned the outside toilet which was very dirty, now quite clean, quite satisfactory, I had two naps, started a jumper for dd and (drum roll) slept till twenty to seven this morning.
Hope to see dd for lunch and then we will go and visit Bob.

MaryBS Mon 06-Aug-12 09:02:06

LOL TUO, love your description of DD as acolyte grin

Am not very happy here. Not coping. Would welcome prayers please.

SESthebrave Mon 06-Aug-12 09:03:08

DO - great you had such a great sleep smile Also great that DD is going with you today. Praying that the visit goes well and Bob is seeing benefits

TUO - prayers that you feel better today and sounds like a wonderful time away!

MHD - you sound so uplifted. Prayers of thanks and for positive things to continue

Jan - prayers and hugs.

PA - prayers for you in the ups and downs of settling in. Praying that there will be more ups than downs

Cup - prayers for you, B and the whole family. B's birthday will be a good celebration I'm sure

Mome - hope the 4 days has gone well and you've had some valuable time for you

BES - continuing to pray for you and your family

Faith - prayers for you in the lead up to your op

Praying for others lurking too.

All good here although haven't made it to church for a couple of weeks blush Prayers please for me to get there next Sunday. The following Sunday (19th) is DD's baptism smile

Oh and if any of you live in easy reach of NE Surrey, I'm doing a Macmillan coffee morning in September. Let me know if you're interested in coming!

SESthebrave Mon 06-Aug-12 09:04:14

Oh Mary - prayers aplenty. Anything specific or things in general a bit much?

MaryBS Mon 06-Aug-12 09:13:52

Lots of different things really. Some of which are causing me some worry (including church)

Prayers

SES kids aren't back until Weds. Missing them a lot and worrying

DutchOma Mon 06-Aug-12 09:45:09

Dd is not coming now. She went to Norwich for the weekend, but had a cold brewing for four days which has now properly broken out. So, no visit to Dad, no being with Mum.
I have texted her to say that I am sorry she is ill but that I can't help feeling a bit let down.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Mon 06-Aug-12 09:54:38

sad Oma
sad mary
sadmome

jan how are you doing. hang on in there.

i feel sick. (unrationally) all I have done is open the cupboard and get out a couple of folders to take with me so I can go and sort out paperwoirk with mum. I don't rate my chances of managing to fill in the forms and sort out the tax. the reason I have a whole heap of post on the floor at the bottom of the stairs is my aversion to paperwork... now is the time to get it sorted.

please pray as I go back to mums to collect death certificates/arrange funerals and generally have to face the reality that dad has gone and be a grown up coping with paper work.

Can you afford to pay someone to do the probate? Sometimes the cost outweighs the savings; just being able to not worry.

My only tip, as I am a paperwork queen, having worked in admin for years and financial services, is to take your time. Keep lists and spreadsheets and don't rush. It's never as bad, as you think it'll be. Praying for you x

amberlight Mon 06-Aug-12 13:53:29

DO, drat re your dd...hope you get to see her soon.
Jan, hope WA are some help today. Or Citizens Advice Bureau can be useful. Or Shelter, the charity, who do a lot of advice for people needing somewhere to be. All findable online.
england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/homelessness

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Mon 06-Aug-12 14:27:21

I am struggling, muddling through packing and sorting out, washing and washing up. still got to find my paperwork...

madhairday Mon 06-Aug-12 16:20:48

BES, Mary, Oma, Mome......praying especially for you all now.

madhairday Mon 06-Aug-12 16:21:26

Jan, was praying for you last night too, hope that some practical things are beginning to come together a bit and that you can hold on to some of that peace.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Mon 06-Aug-12 16:29:07

ds wants to go and see grandad. <sigh> I suppose he will need to go several times before he understands.

jan2011 Mon 06-Aug-12 17:56:42

thanks for all the support and prayer it really means a lot - mum just back from work and has dd i need to rest im totally wiped out. dh has been ringing and texting constantly today anytime ive had my phone on - leaving awful voicemails and texts - not nasty, but him crying, heartbroken, asking and begging me to come back. its AWFUL.
i have spoke to WA and they were helpful - they are going to see me next week. the only thing i can do in the mean time is look for a house - then i can sort all the benefits out after that... as i don't want to mess with them until i have a house i really hope it doesn't take long
im so tired

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Mon 06-Aug-12 19:08:08

good luck with the house hunting.

I am offline again soon. will be back later in the week. got death certificates and funerals to sort.. <sigh>

will be thinking of you when I can.

amberlight Mon 06-Aug-12 19:18:15

Jan, it might be worth asking WA for a spare mobile. I believe they can supply them, so that you can switch yours off and leave it off - but still be contactable by people who you want to hear from. you need to get away from that deluge of emotional blackmail by him at the moment. Until he can respect your personal space and your right to make your own decisions in your own time, it's sensible to want to prevent him doing this.
BES, eeek re all the death certificate etc. Been there, done that - 'orrible.
Hugs/prayers all round.

"You need to get away from that deluge of emotional blackmail by him at the moment. Until he can respect your personal space and your right to make your own decisions in your own time, it's sensible to want to prevent him doing this."

So good I wanted to repeat it smile

what she said

Madcaplady Mon 06-Aug-12 19:55:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oh yay! Helloooooooooooooooooooo! smile

DutchOma Mon 06-Aug-12 20:30:38

Oooh, yes, come right (back) in, we have missed you.

Kaykat Mon 06-Aug-12 20:34:15

Reading and praying for everyone.

BES so sorry for you and your family sad

Jan praying the lord guides you and gives you peace and strength.

And for everyone else with relationship, health and other difficulties.

My H seems to think he can go back to normal with me and can't understand why I haven't forgiven him just a week after OW dumped him and all I've had is a couple of grunted sorrys.

frillylemons Mon 06-Aug-12 21:36:16

Hi everyone smile First time I've posted here as only noticed his thread last night.

I'm 25yo, married for almost 4 years and we are expecting our first baby, due on 28th August grin

I've started getting rather anxious about the birth, not for me but anxious for the baby. I know God's totally got it all under control, but I often get fearful about things.

Just wondering if you guys could bear me in mind and pray that this fear goes away, that I have an easy and successful birth and that my baby will be born healthy with no complications or worries?

Thanks so much smile

madhairday Mon 06-Aug-12 21:56:15

madcap sooooo good to see you and yes we missed you muchly on here.

Welcome frilly, of course you can join in and prayers for a good rest of pregnancy for you - congratulations!

I'm still walking on air from NW - helped by the fact we're going to the olympics on saturday so madly excited about that - bounce!

Tuo Tue 07-Aug-12 00:20:44

Welcome frilly. Prayers for a trouble-free pregnancy and birth for you.

And welcome back Madcap. How are you? (I was TotallyUnheardOf, but then I seemed to become a regular fixture and people had heard of me, so I became Tuo! grin)

Prayers, in her absence, for BES, for strength at this sad time and for tranquillity and organisation in the face of scary paperwork.

Prayers for a solution to the accommodation issue for jan and praying also that her h desists with the emotional blackmail. Jan, please listen to mome and amber - they are very wise. Also praying for kaykat and for anyone else with relationship issues.

Praying for Mary. I'm so sorry that things are tough for you atm; praying for a happier day tomorrow.

Also for Oma - praise for a good night's sleep and that Bob is comfortable; sorry to hear about dd letting you down, but hoping she'll be able to come soon.

And last but not least, for MHD - so good to 'see' you so happy... praying that your joy is long-lasting.

Thanks for prayers for me. The ear thing had gone this morning so I think it was just water in the ear from swimming. I do swim like a drowning hippo, so it's feasible! First day back at work survived, though not with any great deal of enjoyment! Must get a grip on things tomorrow so I don't get behind with things again. I'm struggling this week, though, as I don't have any childcare. Taking the dds in with me tomorrow, which could be interesting! Luckily they are old enough to amuse themselves and I have a lovely PA who is great with them too.

gingercurl Tue 07-Aug-12 11:15:52

Lurking and praying.
My DSis and DBro are on barely speaking terms. They have always been v competitive with each other, but it seems to be getting worse. The latest thing started at the end of March when there was a disagreement about my DB's dog. My DSis youngest DC is afraid of it and Dsis and her DH feel that "aw, he just wants to play/is just excited" isn't a reason not to stop the dog from humping jumping on the child. Dsis has tried to talk to DB to clear the air and agree some rules about the dog when it's at their house, but DB refuses to even discuss it and sees it as just Dsis' problem. Now, DSis seems to be getting the blame for other things as well. I am trying to stay out of if, but am getting fed up with this. To add to the mix, DB is currently trying to guilt trip me into having us stay with them when we go to home next time. DB and his wife have no kids. They live in a two bedroom flat with a dog (terrier) and are due to get another dog in September. Dsis has three boys, lives in huge house, lots of toys and games, no traffic on street, enormous park 10 metres from front door. Guess where it's easier to stay with DS (nearly 5)? All this bickering, blaming, refusal to talk, guilt tripping seems so immature. Prayers would be appreciated.

Madcaplady Tue 07-Aug-12 15:30:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jan2011 Tue 07-Aug-12 16:18:18

hi - i just got my laptop charger back. BES so sorry for what you are dealing with, welcome newcomers and sorry i can't focus on much needs at minute but you are all in my heart.

please can you guys give me some christian advice! dh says he does not want to stay in hte house anymore without us. he will go to his mums, and we can stay there for however long it takes. i feel this will put pressure on us because there isn't much space in his mums and i know it won't be ideal for him. i said about taking his name of the rent of our joint house and he doesn't want to do that - he is asking and pleading with me to keep the names joint, and he will love to his mums for awhile, and we can both get separate and then joint counselling to make things work and that he will put no pressure on me.

please help! is it possible for me to apply for benefits if his name is on the rent does anyone know? if not, all our finances wil still be all together and everything, the only difference is he has moved to his mums for awhile.

i don't know what to do. he has been devastated, hasn't stopped crying. i have finally got him to stop calling me by telling our pastor.

and get this - his mum and dad want to talk to my mum and dad about it all! my dad has just said since it happened that he is praying in the background and is supportive of us both - he isn't the type to really take sides. now they are going to have a meeting - about us! and i bet his mum and dad are going to try to force my mum and dad to influence me to get back with him. i really hope my mum has the balls to stand up to them and explain why this all has to happen.

im so emotionally drained. this happened to a friend of mine, but lucky for her her guy lived in another country and she just got a flight - goodbye. i have caused sooo much upset and i have to deal with it cos of facing everyone. sigh. i am so so sorry this is so long. if anyone is praying, please share your thoughts cos i really need some godly counsel.

My parents met with ExH's but my FIL was so apologetic about it all. Maybe they do want you to work things out, but you have a choice, despite any pressure you may feel, stand firm and people will get the message. I had to put some firm boundaries up at the beginning.

My ExH's name is still on my mortage, if that helps (C&G won't take it off, long story) and I get housing benefit. The important issue is that he is not living with you. You can claim income support but not claim housing benefit, if he is paying the mortgage iyswim? But there is a danger he will feel he can turn up when he wishes and let himself in. This is also a way for him to feel he may still get you back of course and when he realises he can't, he may get angry and make you move out then or try and sell it or similar. Just bare all the possibilities in mind. It is all manipulation, as he's desperate. I'm all for working on marriages and saving them, but you have had lots of marriage counselling and he has form for verbally abusing you. In your situation I think it cannot be salvaged sad

HTH?

jan2011 Tue 07-Aug-12 16:56:12

we are in a rental house, so does that matter? so if i can still get housing benefit etc then i guess its ok if his name is still on it - but i dont want him to pressure me for him to come back before im ready.

his mum and dad do not want to be apologetic - they and him are saying that dd needs a father as well as a mother. they wil go on and on about it. once they get something in their head that is it - they are like him, they make their minds up and there is no talking to them! i have said she still has a father and its worse to have unhappy parents but its talking brick walls

Yes honestly it will all be fine. Go to the directgov website and find the phone number for the various help you are eligible for. They're used to things not being cut and dried when you separate.

She still has a father, like mine do. I guess they're strong Christians and believe marriage is for life? (As do I) But Jesus doesn't expect us to stay in abusive marriages, despite what some Christians seem to think angry Or expect us as women, to put up with bad treatment by our spouse. Grrrr

Trouble is; is your H painting an accurate picture of how badly he treats you? Or what has gone on in your home? I bet he hasn't. Or is he the son who can do no wrong? Might explain how he became the man he is

Maybe you should order them this book and pop it through their letterbox anonymously wink

How are you feeling now?

jan2011 Tue 07-Aug-12 18:51:42

thanks so much for your support Mome its so kind of you. im so glad you are out the other side of all of this. im really bad at phoning to find out about benefits and all that it stresses me out, so what im going to do is gather allthe stuff i think i need about money, and go and see the citizens advice when i get back home and hopefully they can help decide if i can afford the rent on my own and help me with the benefit forms.

yes they think marriage is for life as do/did i, and the thing is, they have had their rocky times too but they stayed in it, but dh said there were times they were going to split. i don't think they know the full picture, and my parents don't want to know the full details but they know enough to know that i have reason to leave, and ive asked them to make sure his parents know - my parents aren't exactley the bold kind, and his parents are completely overpowering (like he is) so i don't know if they will hear the message.

im feeling sad. if i had my sleep i would feel a lot better. i just want to go home. i love being with mum and dad, but i can't handle being out of routine either, i want the comfort of my own house, my friends being round the corner, all dds stuff - i have til thursday to wait till. i feel so much worse if i think about how HE is feeling - so i block it out. but the thing is - ive been through all that pain and those tears he feels now - ive been through it countless times when he didn't care - why should i have to go through it all again? should i be crying my eyes out all day? cos im not. but when i think about the pain ive 'caused' then i would be. so i just focus on whats to come.

i just hope he actually does move out and i don't end up having a really stressful few days while he moves everything out in a state, that would be awful.

im so sorry for these long posts thanks for listening it helps to get it all out and know people do care.

Madcaplady Tue 07-Aug-12 19:22:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madhairday Tue 07-Aug-12 19:26:48

I am here, praying, Jan - I don't have words of wisdom like Mome but am here. Just totally back up what Mome is saying - I do not believe for one second God would expect someone to stay in a marriage where their spouse was abusing them in any way, shape or form. he has, and still is, through manipulation, through crying at you, through getting your ILs involved. Stay strong. You need to keep taking one step after the other. Praying still for your worries to be 'shaped into prayers' and for you to know peace beyond understanding.

Mary - how are you today?

blush I'm not wise ladies...

jan2011 Tue 07-Aug-12 20:23:08

thanks so much for prayer and support. i love that - about worries being 'shaped into prayers' - i will keep that in my heart.

Tuo Tue 07-Aug-12 20:30:00

In haste, but just to say that you're in my thoughts and prayers, Jan.

FWIW, I would tell your parents everything. I think that they can only really support you if they know what has driven you to take this step, and you really need them to be behind you all the way and not on the fence. I know it'll be hard, but it could help in the long run.

I'm feeling really anxious tonight. No idea why. LM has disappeared off the face of the planet and we haven't spoken in days. It may be a week now? And I have a lot to do tomorrow before collecting the kids. Those are the only things on my mind. Why do I feel sick with worry? sad

Tuo Wed 08-Aug-12 00:12:39

I'm here, Mome!

I'm sorry you're feeling like that and I wish I had something useful to say to help with the stressy feelings, but I am prone to bouts of random anxiety myself, and sometimes you just do have to 'ride it out' till it goes away. Can you try to distract yourself with a good book or something? If it helps at all, I am logging off the computer now, but will keep on thinking about you and will say a prayer for calm and a good sleep for you tonight.

Prayers Jan, Mome, TUO, DO, Madcap (welcome back) MHD, Mary and everyone else here.

I have just received a really upsetting email from DD1. Please pray for peace for her. She is struggling so much. Just please pray.......... sad

HaveALittleFaith Wed 08-Aug-12 06:52:25

Hi all, have been reading and praying. jan good on you for going - I'll be praying you can stay strong. I don't know about the housing benefit side if things but I would trust in the wisdom above!

PA what are your daughter's circumstances?

I have a prayer request for my marriage. Things have been very trying over the last year or so - DH had health problems diagnosed that effect his fertility and the fire in particular. We've been arguing a lot in the last few weeks. On Sunday we actually sat down and talked and realised we can't carry on like this. Unfortunately he is in a very negative place and us essentially saying its 'make or break'. We still love each other and want to try to make it work. We can get relate sessions through his work so he's booked an appointment. They key issue for me is that his attitude had changed since he started on the medication for his health problem. He was very easy going and laid back - now he describes himself as assertive but at times it's really more aggressive confused We're both struggling with our faith. I'm angry about everything that's happened, I feel anxious all the time about having another fire. He's lost his faith completely, he just doesn't think God is there. This is a huge, huge problem for me. I want our marriage to be like it was in that we went to church together, prayed together and trusted in God. My hope is to start the Relate and start talking properly again and then encourage him to get prayer from church leaders with me. We have agreed to stop TTC while we sort things out - it wouldn't be right to brings baby into all this- but I confess I find that hard to deal with. I'm 31 next week, we've been trying over 2 1/2 years sad prayers greatly appreciated.

Sorry I can't name check much, I'm on my phone.

HaveALittleFaith Wed 08-Aug-12 07:05:42

Sorry also my friend niece just died of leukaemia. Please pray for all the family at this time - she was 15 sad Her name was Georgia.

SESthebrave Wed 08-Aug-12 08:56:27

Faith - how tragic sad Prayers for Georgia and her family.
Also prayers for you and your DH. It sounds like you're both trying to deal with it as best you can. If you're worried that his medication may be causing side effects, feel free to send me a private message with details (I'm a pharmacist).

PA - prayers for peace for your DD1 and you all of your family as you all adjust and settle down.

MomeRaths - prayers for you and anxiety. Hope you feel better this morning and got some sleep.

Jan - prayers for you and for God to be in the middle of the situation and the conversation between your parents and you ILs. At the end of the day though, you need to pray for wisdom and discernment to decide what is the right thing for you to do. I will ask God to provide you with these gifts too.

MadCap - hello and welcome back! I've lurked on your blog a little and am pleased to have you back here. continued prayers for you, the meeting with your MP and the current situation.

Frilly - welcome! I was really worried in the last few days and hours of this pregnancy. As they started the CS I turned to DH for reassurance and sent up some silent prayers. Sure enough, all was fine. It is natural to worry (part of being a parent!) Prayers for reassurance for you and for an uneventful remainder of your pregnancy.

Ginger - prayers for your DB and DSis. Very hard to be caught in the middle. Maybe if DB asks again about you staying with him, say something like "Thank you so much, we'd love to! Thinking about the whole situation for everyone though, the facts are that... " and explain what you've told us. Arrange a time to go over to their house and spend time specifically with them?
As for the dog situation, we have 2 cocker spaniels and DB1 has a labrador. My mum can't stand dogs but there is a mutual understanding that she won't have the dogs at her house but if she comes to us, they will be about. Sometimes it does dictate what we can and can't do but we try and work round it.

Prayers also for BES, MHD, DO, TUO, Mary, FoD, Blue, Amber, KayKat and anyone else I've missed.

Continued prayers for my friend with cancer please. She's home now awaiting a treatment plan.

Also DD has her first cold! That's the thing about DC2 I guess, that they catch whatever DC1 brings home from nursery! It also looks like she's going to be referred for physio for her neck as she's struggling to get much head control - we think because she had her head stuck on one side when she was in me. Otherwise, she's doing really really well and is now 8 weeks! Prayers of thanks for how obliging and settled she is and how well DS has adjusted.Prayers that it continues please!

Thank you for the prayers. I'm feeling calm at the moment. Very tired though, due to having trouble falling asleep last night and waking early with everything that I needed to do.

Kaykat Wed 08-Aug-12 09:53:10

I keep thinking about 20 years wasted on loving a man who then turned round and said that OW was the only person who loved him in his whole life. Now she's dumped him after a few weeks he expects me to love him again and is upset that I won't give him any affection and effectively said he will find someone else to cheat with if I won't.
When I asked him to go do that elsewhere he made a big deal of packing up a weeks clothes then was asking to come back that same evening. I said no then guess what I got home yesterday evening to find him there. It's clear he will never leave me despite threatening it so I would have to take the initiative but it's very hard to do that after 20 years and I keep thinking that I am too angry and upset to make any decisions at the moment.
After she dumped him the first time and they got back together he asked me to to accept their ongoing relationship. I said no we would have to separate and now he is using that to justify his unfaithfulness saying I decided to separate so he was free to cheat with OW - that's the kind of manipulative argument I'm going to have to deal with if I start anything official I can see it getting very nasty and dragging on for ages. And I am so worried for DS caught up in all this.
Prayers much appreciated and I am praying for everyone else's problems too.

You can separate and not commence divorce proceedings for a while until strong enough?

Have you started reading Shirley Glass's book yet? It is illuminating to say the least x

Kaykat Wed 08-Aug-12 10:35:27

Yes I started reading it, it is very good thanks for recommending. I'm a slow reader so might take a while to finish it.
How can I separate from someone that refuses to leave unless I leave and that means me and DS leaving our home?

That's why I keep saying ring Womensaid smile They'll tell you how x

DutchOma Wed 08-Aug-12 10:57:00

"I keep thinking about 20 years wasted on loving a man..."

Kay, love is never 'lost'. It may feel like that, and will be made worse by the fact that you still feel affection for the man you thought you were married to, but who has so sadly let you down.
It is so very sad that there are so many people going through this and it makes me so very grateful there is solid love between me and Bob. Life is difficult, it becomes, maybe not more, but different difficult as you grow older, but somehow keeping that love is the most important thing going.
I am so really grateful to God for His grace in that respect.

SESthebrave Wed 08-Aug-12 11:07:37

Wise words DO
I have no wisdom, only prayers

jan2011 Wed 08-Aug-12 11:39:49

gosh so many prayer requests - thinking of each of you. so sorry kay you are going through this too. it was difficult packing the car and going to mums but i felt a peace about leaving and about moving out - now he has said he will move out instead...i know God is with you on this difficult journey and will guide you in what to do - it takes time to be able to realise what to do and to have the strength and support to do it. i got support from WA and from reading, and from praying a lot.

i am meeting him today. wether thats a good idea or not - im meeting him in an hour, to tell him what i want to happen - as the last thing i need when he gets back from his week away is confusion over what is happening and the whole upset to start again - i need us to be clear so everyone knows what is going on. im clear in my head what i want now and thanks Mome for being so helpful and everyone else for ongoing prayer

really hope this meeting goes ok

Tuo i told my mum a couple of examples, and she said that is the kind of thing i need to tell his parents that has been going on. i really don't want to tell my mum too much incase we get back in the end and she thinks really bad of him. but i think i will tell his parents more as i don't want them thinking bad of me.

Is he only moving out for a week?

Kaykat Wed 08-Aug-12 15:33:13

I never told anyone anything bad about my H either because I wanted them to think well of him but now I have told my mum and sis everything and yes they think badly of him but you need to not be alone in this. Your mum will love and support you and I'm pretty sure she would still be polite and friendly to your H if that's what you want in the end.
Prayers for your meeting today that the lord will guide you.
I have a friend and her DCs coming to stay for a few days, hope it will cheer me and DS up a bit.

Madcaplady Wed 08-Aug-12 17:35:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SESthebrave Wed 08-Aug-12 21:08:34

Prayers continuing.....

Could I also ask for prayers for DS and DD. This afternoon I noticed a few spots on DS that look suspiciously like chicken pox and he did have a cough / cold a week ago so I think the liklihood is that he's got it.
DD is also showing signs of cough / cold which have got worse today. I (probably irrationally) worry as she is so young and sounds so snuffly. I've got some saline nasal drops to use for her and (fortunately?!) she's at the GP tomorrow for her 8 week check but I just hope that if it is chicken pox, she and DS get it very mildly. It's DD's baptism on the 19th and we've 5 members of DH's family over from Ireland from the middle of next week so not great timing.

amberlight Wed 08-Aug-12 22:47:46

Much prayer continuing.

Good morning.

JAn I hope the meeting with H went ok yesterday.

Kay prayers continuing for you in your situation

Madcap From my experience that is how MP meetings go, but the letter will get results if it is anything like my MP. Prayers for you and all your family. smile

SES Oh dear, Chicken pox. It might not be all that bad. DD3 had them as a tiny and she looked terrible but was really unfazed by it, certainly not as distressed as DD4 was when she got them at a far older age.

THank you for your prayers for DD1. We managed to talk with her last evening and she seemed calmer. Her situation is that she hates her job and has done for ages. She is treated really badly there. THe good friend who died last week in the bike crash was her good work mate, so when ever she is at work now it is a painful reminder that he is not there. She is missing us at this time and says she just wants to sit down and cry with me. She is living with DD3. THey normally get on well, but are very different in some ways and those differences/similarities have boiled over this week. Please continue to pray for God's peace to help her. Prayers are working, thank you.

jan2011 Thu 09-Aug-12 07:19:15

good morning...

thinking of all of you and lifting you before God even though my head is not in a place to properly pray, i hope he knows and understands and that Jesus prays for each of us before the father as well

to update yesterday went better than it could have been so thank you for all the prayer. he persuaded me to keep our accounts the way they were, and gave me his bank card of the joint account and said he wouldn't touch it. i know he can go in to the bank, but i do believe him. he said if i mess with our finance it will change the way his student loan is set up, and it took a lot of stress filling out the forms to get it in the first place. he gets the funding for our rent so is happy to pay it, nothing really needs changed, and i told him i was guaranteeing nothing at this stage about our marriage, he said well if that came to be the case, we can change all the finances at a later date. so i am ok with that for now, and its less stress for me right now. he was very apologetic, took full responsibiiity for everything and said he would go to his mums and hope we could work on our marriage from there.

i told mum more stuff, he told his mum he had been emotionally abusive towards me. i don't konw what difference it has made - they haven't contacted me yet.

i have had no sleep last night and worried about driving home today and being able to cope. im sure i will feel better after a few coffees. he stayed for dinner and all last night and we got on ok. i know this is the right thing i have done and he says he knows now too that it is the right thing, that it has took this to make him realise.

Kaykat Thu 09-Aug-12 08:19:32

SES praying for DCs my DS also had chicken pox as a baby and it was very mild.

PA praying for DDs.

Jan glad to hear he is being reasonable and facing up to what he's done to you. Praying you will get some sleep and have peace about being at home.

Yesterday I told H that if he had any decency he would move out and leave me alone for a while because every time I see him I am reminded what he did and get hurt and angry and I need time to recover. He said he has nowhere to go and I should be the one to move out. I said why should me and DS be forced from our homes we are the victims of all this. He seemed a little more reasonable than usual so maybe he will listen this time, please pray that he does. He grabbed the chance for a few weeks of cheap thrills with no thought to the consequences and now I think it's dawning on him what he has thrown away. He shows little remorse but thinks he can rebuild everything with me now.

SESthebrave Thu 09-Aug-12 11:35:53

DS definitely has chicken pox. There must be about 35-40 spots now but at least he doesn't seem bothered by it at the moment. Just have to wait and see if DD gets it I suppose!

Jan - that all sounds positive but IMHO it's going to take a lot of work (from him) if this marriage is to come through.

KayKat - I can't get away from the fact that how he's treated you just is no love. Great that he wants to get back on track but it's not a switch to flick on and off.

Prayers for all....

Not a great day in the Land of Mome. Lovely Man is moving to the South Coast to live with a friend, whose house he will help renovate when not working. It is right up his street and sounds good for the soul. He wasn't happy where he was. Whatever future I hoped I might have with him when the court case is over, is now over I think. He may of course move again in due course, who knows? I know how hard things are for him, he hasn't seen his children since last September and this court case is a huge issue right now. He needs to look after himself and focus on that. We had agreed to ease off months ago as he was so stressed and I was happy as I still saw him once a week, or every other week and we spoke in between. But now I cannot see even the possibility of a future with him. I mean he's going to be 3 hours drive away now I guess? So whatever future our friendship/ dating had is over pretty much. I feel at a loss tbh. We'd never got to the stage of saying "I love you" but I care about him very much and I know what I thought God said back in March. Being alone was easier, meeting him has reminded me of what life can be like to have someone special in your life, just for a moment.

Also I have a meeting with an adviser at the job centre in 45 minutes and she was so horrid to me last time. I have to take the kids today, as no one can watch them. So trying to hear what help is available to me to return to work, and keep the kids in check is going to be hard. I also know if she makes any flippant comments this time, that I will burst into tears.

I don't even know "what" to ask for in prayer but I need something to get through today and perhaps even the next week, as I cope with my hopes and dreams being shattered. I think I held out too much hope for us.

DutchOma Thu 09-Aug-12 12:53:23

Oh dear Mome. That is very devastating for you, I'm really sorry. Hold tight to the promise that God has plans for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. There are promises for your children too. God is faithful and his ways are just.

Thank you Oma. I'm having trouble sleeping tonight, as I try to make sense of it all sad

MaryBS Fri 10-Aug-12 08:45:56

Thats really sad mome, prayers for comfort for you.

I had the night from heck last night. Not what I expected, but didn't get to bed till 2am. Just for once, it wasn't the kids or church though...

MaryBS Fri 10-Aug-12 08:46:59

or DH, in case anyone was thinking that...

amberlight Fri 10-Aug-12 18:58:58

Prayers all round. In bonny Scotland for a while, though still miles and miles from the main cities! How big can Britain be??! Desperately need the break.

jan2011 Fri 10-Aug-12 21:05:08

have a lovely time Amber

Thanks for the prayers, met up with a mumsnetter in London today for a bit and bumped onto another one from my old ante natal thread whilst there. I keep fighting the urge to cry but I am doing my best to give the children a good time. I hope I sleep better tonight, but I suspect I won't. My mind is truly working over time right now.

SESthebrave Sat 11-Aug-12 02:48:52

Prayers .....
MomeRaths - hope you're sleeping better tonight

jan2011 Sat 11-Aug-12 07:52:35

hope today is better for you mome thinking of you, hope you keep being able to meet with others

ive been finding things so hard since i got back. struggling to cope really. dd has been extremely unsettled she won't even sit in her highchair, she hasn't been sleeping at night. im totally exhausted.

How are you feeling in yourself Jan? As I know with my two when I separated they could pick up on my feelings and that made things worse to begin with. It does get better x

jan2011 Sat 11-Aug-12 10:14:10

im feeling ok in myself actually - i am not that upset about whats happened - i have been more upset about our marriage in the past. it is more actually dealing with the way dd is at the minute, the constant stress and exhaustion. my skin broke out in an itchy rash all over and i took some allergy pills. i am just struggling to cope - but i think if things were easier with my dd i would be coping well with it all

jan2011 Sat 11-Aug-12 10:14:57

i think she is probablly affected by everything thats happened though as yes i am sad at whats happened

HaveALittleFaith Sat 11-Aug-12 10:26:34

sad jan the rash could be a physical manifestation of stress but if it doesn't go down it'd be worth getting it checked out. I think you're incredibly brave. Praying for strength.
Amber have a lovely holiday.
I'm sorry to hear about your fella Mome. I suppose it's about trusting that the Lord knows what he's doing in this difficult time.
Mary did you have a better night?
We're ok ish. Very much not talking about things, then having specific conversations. As we gradually unpick things, I actually think its more about the issues we had TTC than anything else. I think we both felt very hurt by everything - for over a year despite saying he wanted to try he made excuses not to. I didn't handle that well and felt rejected. Now we know why he wouldn't/couldn't DTD and it's easy to explain it in hindsight but the hurt and bitterness we felt - me for being rejected so many times and him for how I was with him about that - we claimed we'd dealt with but actually we just buried it. I'm hoping the Relate will help us talk about it, deal with it and move forward.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sat 11-Aug-12 12:47:52

just popping in. have read through. welcome back Madcap <cheers> [crap at keeping in touch emotion]

the funeral is finally arranged... I have just got to find something to wear and I hate shopping at the best of times. the paperwork is being worked through too but i have been given a taks that is enormous and would appreciate prayers for tackling it in bitesize portions.

Jan... he is upset because he is feeling the consequences of his behaviour.

Kaykat Sun 12-Aug-12 08:30:15

Hugs to everyone, Mome you are a tower of strength for everyone else, hoping to send some of that strength right back to you.

Had a lovely few days with my friend and her DCs. Told her everything and she was appalled. She said you are kind, witty and gorgeous and he must be out of his mind. H tried to join in with us yesterday and she was rather distant with him to say the least.

It's my anniversary sad I told him I hope it was worth throwing it all away for a few cheap thrills.

SES how's the chicken pox?

Thank you Kaykat x

Madcaplady Sun 12-Aug-12 13:46:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HaveALittleFaith Sun 12-Aug-12 13:57:12

Hello all.
kaykat Your friend is absolutely right and someone you should stay in contact with regularly. In your circumstances you need someone who can regularly build you up when your husband is trying to pull you down. It sounds like that visit did you the power of good!

I agree too Mome you're a gem smile

BES I'm praying for a smooth ride as you pull everything together.

Turning point for me: I made to church this morning, struggled massively since DH wouldn't come and it was a baby's dedication service and I recall crying when they announced her pregnancy probably 15 months ago now However a lovely fella who is senior in the church saw me cry my way through the service and got his equally lovely wife to talk and pray with me. About 5 minutes after I got home DH told me he will make the effort to come to church with me again and pray with me each night because he said he realises how important it is to me and that if he declared he'd do what he could to save our marriage going to church is one thing he needs to do. I am very happy/relieved about this! Prayers that it actually makes a difference appreciated. Does anyone have a book recommendation for praying when your husband is having a faith crisis?

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sun 12-Aug-12 16:37:29

thanks be to God that the shopping for funeral clothes was painless. (i hate shopping) straight into marks.. ds stayed in the pushchair, dd stayed with the pushchair and her dad and I found something that will do almost straight away. bought a couple to avoid the trauma of actually havijng to go clothes shopping again for a while. smile

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sun 12-Aug-12 16:41:51

blush oops forgetting everything at the mo..

we are off back to my mums soon for the funeral tomorrow. pray for safety driving and for me to keep my temper as she is panicking tomorrow/tonight. I am feeling the strain of ebing the person "in charge" of everything and not having dad to help sort things out. ( mum making decisions but it all is sent through me)

kay you have a good friend.

how are you mary? Do? amber?

madhair, hope you are still buzzing..

MaryBS Mon 13-Aug-12 12:27:25

Prayers BES.

A little fraught today, with a hyped up DS getting overexcited about the holidays and everything he does is hyped up (currently pretending to play Bakugan and shrieking Bakugan moves at the top of his voice).

Yesterday was my birthday, and we had a nice time I think, it was a bit up and down, but I got to do what I wanted, so that was a bonus.

madhairday Mon 13-Aug-12 16:19:58

Happy birthday for yesterday Mary!

Oh Mome - I'm so sorry to hear that - praying for some peace for you in the middle of it all. God has plans for a hope and future...

Thanks BES. Yes def buzzing still, because I have survived going to the olympics on saturday (modern pentathlon, was absolutely brilliant and the dc loved it) and felt so well! Since I was prayed with at NW, I've been feeling like a different person. I know I'm not technically healed in terms of the lung disease but I feel I'm being given a bit of 'time off' so to speak and it's amazing - I'd actually forgotten what it felt like to have some energy, to be able to take the dc out, to just keep going and enjoy life to the full. Added to that is feeling so close to God still - it's amazing. I feel somewhat spoilt to ask for more of the same but want to anyway. Then I start feeling bad for not being ill enough atm to not work/have dla etc - how daft am I - I get it as it's a fluctuating condition anyway, and had forgotten I could actually feel well sometimes - I could literally dance around with happiness at what it feels like. I hope when I have the fall I can retain the joy of the Lord. I know I'm wittering on....

jan2011 Mon 13-Aug-12 20:03:02

so happy for u mhd and really pray it is lasting - i know some of how you feel about those prayers though for healing - i think the way you were prayed for was so lovely and sensitive and just what you needed at that time and now God has done exceedingly and abundantly more.

happy belated bday Mary

thinking of you Susan hope you are ok big hugs

thinking of all of you

Kaykat Mon 13-Aug-12 22:14:57

Prayers needed urgently please. Got a card in the post asking me to phone police in the morning. Seems I have been dragged into an incident between H and OW and I need them to believe its got nothing to do with me. Last time I spoke to them they clearly didn't believe a word I said. They think me and H are in it together.

HaveALittleFaith Mon 13-Aug-12 22:21:11

confused kaykat I'll pray! Praying you can break away from this situation.

Happy belated birthday Mary. Thinking of you and praying for you bes.

< waves to everyone>

cloutiedumpling Mon 13-Aug-12 22:32:31

Prayers for all.

I'd be grateful for prayers for DS2. He starts school on Wednesday but will only know two people in his class as he didn't go to preschool (slightly different system up here). I think he'll be quite nervous.

Tuo Tue 14-Aug-12 01:29:45

Hello all. I've been away for a few days, taking my dds to staying with my parents for a little while. Have come back determined to work harder, eat better, etc. Got off to quite a good start... except that tonight I've lost an important email that I really need in order to get on with a piece of work. All I can think is that I've accidentally deleted it; but I can't recover it from my deleted items either, so goodness knows what has happened to it. If you can spare a prayer for something so trivial, please pray that I can get it back or it's going to creat a really difficult situation for me. I do realise that compared to what most people on here are going through this is really pathetically silly, but it's causing me stress tonight.

Anyway, enough of me... I am praying for:
... kaykat - that the situation involving the police can be resolved easily, that they will believe you, and that you general situation will improve soon;
... BES - hoping that everything goes smoothly for you;
... Jan - praying for you to have the happiness you deserve;
... cloutie - for your ds as he starts school;
... DO - for you to have had some rest and for Bob to be well in himself, and well looked-after;
... mome - for peace of mind in accepting the situation with your LM and for long-term happiness;
... PA - for your situation far from home and for your dd to be happier;
... Faith - for your dh to be drawn back to God;
... Mary - for calm in your household; and also, having missed your birthday totally, for a happy post-birthday week!
... MHD - so good to 'see' you so well and so buoyant - your post brought tears to my eyes (in a good way).

Also keeping in mind expat at this time. And praying for ongoing healing for Weegiemum. And for problem-free pregnancies for Blue and FoD. Haven't been around much, but have been keeping you all in my prayers.

DutchOma Tue 14-Aug-12 07:03:48

Prayers for Kaykat and BES. For TUO's recovery of the e.mail (when exactly was it you were posting?).
On my part, I give thanks for a lovely visit of a knitting friend, we went to the most beautiful place for lunch, part restaurant, part gardencentre, part shop, can't get there under my own steam, but she has an ancient two seater car, which had just passed its MOT. I'm praying for her that she gets the job she wants, she has been struggling financially, not getting enough freelance work. She had a job interview last week and is waiting to hear back.
We are meeting a lady from a unit in Kettering this morning to see if Bob can spend a fortnight's respite care there.

gingercurl Tue 14-Aug-12 12:18:32

Lurking and praying.
Happy belated birthday, Mary. Ds had his birthday on Sunday too.

Been lurking and praying! smile

Organised holiday club at work last week and overdid it a bit, so I'm extremely exhausted now! sad
It was a great time with the children though and I hope they have all learnt a bit more about Jesus and God! smile

Taking it easy this week and working from on the sofa (whilst constantly being kicked by very active baby). Looking forward to a week off next week and my birthday. smile We wanted to go away for a week to the sunshine on an all-inclusive, but can't afford it, so we'll be doing some day-trips instead... which will be fun too!

Tuo Tue 14-Aug-12 23:08:02

Prayers answered: the email stayed missing, but I managed to contact the original sender and she has re-sent it. (Yes, DO, I was posting at a ridiculous time of night. I'd got into a panic looking for said email and was calming down enough to sleep.)

Good to hear you're taking it easy this week, Blue. How many weeks are you now? Prayers for a relaxing week this week, and lots of fun next week for your birthday.

DO - praying for the respite situation to work itself out.

Continuing to pray for all those with relationship issues.

Kaykat Tue 14-Aug-12 23:44:26

I couldn't get hold of the pc named on the card so sent a short email explaining I am not involved, am separating from H so cannot assist. Please pray that they leave me out of it from now on. Thank you.

Madcaplady Wed 15-Aug-12 20:27:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HaveALittleFaith Wed 15-Aug-12 22:10:59

Hello to all. kay I hope it's enough to settle things.

How are things with everyone? Have been praying.

I'm delighted to say after 2.75 TTC I got a BFP today!

gingercurl Wed 15-Aug-12 22:41:31

Yay, Havealittlefaith!

Praying.

HaveALittleFaith Wed 15-Aug-12 22:51:50

Thanks grin I can't quite believe it!

DutchOma Wed 15-Aug-12 23:50:57

Oh Faith how lovely. Prayers that all will go well for you. Praying also for Blue and FoD.

The organisation of the respite care is a real pig. I had thought that with the assessment on Tuesday would come a date for Bob to go in the next few days, but no, an enormous amount of paperwrk needs to be produced to see whether we qualify for the funding we need at this place, then it needs to be approved by Continuing Health Care and none of this can be done in a hurry, you understand.
So, maybe we will hear something from them tomorrow, but maybe not. In the meantime I can no longer go to Holland as my brother is going away for a week at the end of next week.
When I realised that we would not get a date any time soon, I just cried and cried, not helped by the fact that I got very little, if any, understanding from dd.
The difficulty is also that it is quite a palaver packing him up with all his machinery and his medication and I can't see me doing it again after he has been home for a fortnight.
So I think the whole respite care is a non-starter and he will come home on Monday or Tuesday and that is that. I felt better for having talked through it with him. When I got home it started to rain really hard, so I went and had a nap and felt a lot better.

Kaykat Thu 16-Aug-12 00:02:22

Had a terrible evening, H turned up and saying horrible things to try to turn DS against me. Saying he couldn't come home because I threw him out (I wish, I pointed out that he's twice my size so I cant throw him anywhere) and saying that he got together with OW because of my controlling ways and saying that I am ruining DSs future. It worked a little bit DS was cross with me and sided with him as usual and it was really horrible for DS I could see he was upset at times. I can't see this ever ending it just gets more and more horrible every time I see him. I tried to be friendly but it's not working. I don't think I am strong enough or clever enough to fight him. Feeling very desperate.

Tuo Thu 16-Aug-12 00:26:50

Oh no, Kaykat, that's awful that your H is dragging your DS into this. Can you change the locks so that your H cannot just let himself into the house and behave like that towards you? Can you get right away from him (stay with family/friends) for a while so that you put some clear distance between you and him? How old is your DS? Praying for a better day for you tomorrow and for your H to see that he is making things worse rather than better.

Praying for your situation too, Oma. I wish there was something I could do to help. Can someone help you with the palaver aspect of moving Bob, so that the respite does become feasible for you? It must be possible to make this work. I know how much you wanted to go to Holland. sad Praying for some kind of resolution for you both.

On a happier note, though, congratulations to you Faith. What wonderful news. Good luck with everything.

Praying also for all those awaiting A-level results tomorrow morning. I am in for a busy day...

DutchOma Thu 16-Aug-12 07:20:56

Kaykat there are quite a few ladies in the same position as you are on this thread. They have found varying solutions and it may help you to know that you are not alone. One of the things that comes out time and again is that, if you are frightened of your partner, you are within your rights to call the police and they will make him leave you alone. You have every right to a peaceful life for you and your son.

FriendofDorothy Thu 16-Aug-12 07:48:49

Hello everyone. Thanks for your prayers. Things continue to go well which I am grateful for.

We are off on holiday tomorrow - camping in South Wales. Please pray the weather picks up for us!

jan2011 Thu 16-Aug-12 12:29:11

hello

have a lovely holiday fod

quick update: dh has been on hols for a week. in that time, i have moved back home with dd, she has woke at least every 2 hrs for the past week and i am not coping well at all with the lack of sleep and trying to manage things. WA have been to advise me, pastor has been to see me (he was very supportive) and i feel rather overwhlelmed with everything. but today dh comes back, and he is staying here for the weekend (long story but there is no other choice) and moving out on monday. he is very sorry about everything and wants to change. im going to get him to help out with the nights this weekend - please pray that he can somehow sleep train dd not to want bf all night cos i won't be able to cope on my own if she doesn't stop this! i spoke to my hv and she said to settle her during the night without feeding - get a chair and sit beside the cot and soothe her and pat her instead. hmm. i really really really hope this works. i am nervous about staying with dh this weekend... thinking of each of you may God be with all of us

madhairday Thu 16-Aug-12 12:39:41

Just a quick pop in - packing for camping tomorrow.

Faith - wow great news!

FoD and Blue - praying for you both.

DO - oh love. Thinking of you a lot. Wish I could help....praying for peace.

Must dash, will try and get back on later. love to all

amberlight Thu 16-Aug-12 21:10:19

Jan, prayers aplenty
And prayers for everyone else too

Kaykat Thu 16-Aug-12 21:40:05

Tuo I don't think I can legally change the locks and he would find a way to get in he's big and extremely strong. DS is 12. I could stay with family but don't want to disrupt DS. Looks like H is staying away tonight but I'm sure he will be back for the weekend and dreading it as always.

Oma yes it helps a lot that others have been through similar things and therefore have wonderful advice. I tried to phone WA today but they were busy and SIL came in and we chatted for a long time. I don't know why I have been reluctant to do it before now probably because I dont really think they will able to help me but Jan your experience with them sounds very positive.

I sent a short message to another friend briefly saying what had happened. She was shocked and immediately offered all sorts of support. I'm going to see her in a weeks time. She is a lovely lady, churchgoer and her first H cheated on her too.

DutchOma Thu 16-Aug-12 22:01:57

Well, after all the doom and gloom of the past few days everything changed and moved very quickly.
The specialist unit in Kettering wanted far too much money, so that was a no-no. BUT there was a bed in a unit on the other side of Northampton and we were strongly encouraged to take it. After all the object of the exercise was that I would go away and not visit Bob.
So we took it.
I managed to book a ferry crossing overnight for tomorrow, coming back 29th August. Absolutely tired out with all the arrangements, so going to bed quickly now.

HaveALittleFaith Thu 16-Aug-12 22:07:39

Oh that's great news DO! Hooe it's a good break.

kaykat I think I've read that on MN before. I'm glad you've got friends you can rely on and be honest with. I'll continue to pray.

Thanks for all the congratulations, it hasn't sunk in yet!

Enjoy your trip DO you deserve it!

HavealitteFaith congratulations!

Praying for everyone!

Kaykat Thu 16-Aug-12 22:35:22

Huge congrats Faith just found out what BFP means x

Kaykat Thu 16-Aug-12 22:37:15

That's meant to say I just found out what BFP means. Congratulations.

SESthebrave Thu 16-Aug-12 22:43:58

DO - that is brilliant news. Hope Bob settles well there and you have a lovely break

Faith - congratulations!

Jan - prayers.... How old is DD now? How is weaning going? My DS wanted to feed constantly at night and so we co-slept and it helped me get more sleep

Prayers for everyone of you lovely ladies.

DS's chicken pox has all scabbed now and so far no sign on DD. We have a house full of visitors from Ireland at the moment as DD's being baptised on Sunday. We are hosting a BBQ for 30+ afterwards so please pray for fine weather and for DD, her godmother (SIL) and godfather (my brother).

SESthebrave Fri 17-Aug-12 08:58:33

Prayers please. Just found a small lump the size of a 1p behind DS's ear. GP said to bring him down now. I'm hoping it's "just" an infected chicken pox spot.

HaveALittleFaith Fri 17-Aug-12 09:04:47

Oh SES sad I'm praying it is chicken pox related!

SESthebrave Fri 17-Aug-12 10:04:39

Thanks Faith. Yes, GP says it's infected lymph nodes from the puss from the spots. Aggravated from where he's been scratching. I've got piriton and calamine in aqueous cream but only been using them at bedtime as he's not been complaining of it itching or scratching too noticeably. Will increase use of both.

MaryBS Fri 17-Aug-12 10:56:40

We're off on holiday today, please pray we have safe journeys, and that we will have a lovely holiday together as a family

<feeble wave>

I am lurking ladies. Sleeping better now, in fact I feel permanently exhausted for some reason and have a dull headache most days. But my kids are being fab and despite other disappointments in life, they're bringing me joy.

Thank you for the prayers about LM. Still praying for him. I do feel God with me very much at the moment. The disappointment and sadness comes in waves. I'm reading Christian books, writing a journal (which I've never done before) and praying lots. Hoping to try and put the last 6 months to bed and move on with my life. God asked me to walk with him and pray for him. That's what I heard him say in March. I can still pray for him and I shall, but yes, any hopes I had about our future, have definitely been dashed and it hurts.

Wonderful news Havealittlefaith smile

What relief SES!

amberlight Fri 17-Aug-12 18:36:06

Prayers continuing...

Tuo Sat 18-Aug-12 00:53:42

Hello! Praying for all, but especially:
Oma - on the ferry tonight! smile;
Mary - praying for a safe journey and a happy and stress-free holiday;
MomeRaths - I'm so sorry that things are tough for you, but you are being incredibly strong. Who know's what's around the corner for you? I pray it will be something (or someone) who'll bring you untold happiness.
SES - praying for a swift recovery for you ds.
Kaykat and Jan - ongoing prayers for you in your difficult situations.

Flooded Sat 18-Aug-12 00:59:28

Can I request a prayer?
For my grandfather to be comforted by his faith and for us as a family and for him have peace in his final hours before he leaves us to gods care.

Kaykat Sat 18-Aug-12 01:17:28

Welcome Flooded, I am praying for your grandfather, for you and for your family x

HaveALittleFaith Sat 18-Aug-12 07:13:17

Hi flooded, I'm praying for all your family to know the strength and peace of the Lord at this time.

SESthebrave Sat 18-Aug-12 08:07:41

Prayers for all....

Flooded - prayers for you, your grandfather and all those who love him.

SESthebrave Sat 18-Aug-12 08:40:57

Prayers please.... SIL visiting from Ireland borrowed a necklace from a friend to wear tomorrow at DD's baptism. The necklace was real pearls and belonged to the friend's late grandmother. It has gone missing and SIL is ill with guilt and worry. She's tried lost property at Dublin airport and next options are getting someone to check at home. Please pray that it turns up somewhere some how.

HaveALittleFaith Sat 18-Aug-12 09:14:51

Oh how awful for her SES. I lost my engagement ring last year for two months. Just kept praying and it turned up (had fallen off my dressing table into a bag and I'd stuffed the bag into a drawer). I will pray it turns up!
how is your DS?

kay how are things?

Praying for DO while she's away and that Bob is settling in ok.

DutchOma Sat 18-Aug-12 13:09:22

Thank you for your prayers. I had a very troublefree journey and and text from Bob to say that his 'prison'was comfortable.
The weather in Holland is very hot.

Tuo Sat 18-Aug-12 14:14:00

Praying for the necklace to be found, SES. We were talking about 'lost things' this morning, as my MIL lost her engagement ring years and years ago, and despaired of ever finding it. It was lost for a number of years and FIL bought a replacement, but it wasn't the same. Then one day DH (who was just a kid at the time) was scuffing about in the dirt at the side of the road outside their house and noticed something shiny. He picked it up and... you've guessed it... it was his mum's engagement ring. (I am very touched to say that I have it now, and it means so much to me - not only because of that rather fab story, but because I adored my MIL.)

Praying for you to have a happy holiday, DO.

Flooded... welcome. Praying for your grandfather and for all who love him at this time.

Faith Congratulations and prayers for everything to go well for you.

DO I am pleased you have managed to have your break.

Prayers for the necklace SES any news?

Its been a very tough week here. THings have been a bit fraught, but today has been an improvement. On the positive side language study has started and I have been very surprised at how much I have taken in. IT must be God's work!

Have a good weekend everyone.

Kaykat Sat 18-Aug-12 15:24:34

H turned up late last night. As I can't seem to stop him coming home at the weekend my only goal is to stay civil for sake of DS and so far we managed it.

He talks about OW like she is a child (well she is less than half his age). He thinks she must be held prisoner by her H and parents otherwise she would contact him, he still believes she loves him - so delusional. At best it was a crush on her part or more likely she was leading him on.

I pointed out that she will not get away from this without suffering because she will have to live with what's she's done for the rest of her life. H said 'so will I'. That's the closest he's got to an admission of wrongdoing so far.

The fact that he shows no remorse and blames it all on me means there can be no chance of rebuilding any trust with him. I will not get back with him because I would always be waiting for him to do it again and besides I feel repulsed at the thought of him and OW together. Whatever outcome I need it to be the best solution for DS (please pray).

Kaykat Sat 18-Aug-12 15:32:49

When I first started posting on this thread I was calling it an EA, not sure if I've mentioned since but I now know they spent the night together and I'm pretty sure they had sex. H won't admit or deny it. To add to the hurt it was in our campervan bed which has been like a second family home for us these past few years.

On the last thread (I think) someone recommended a Christian book on separation and divorce but I can't find the link, can anyone remind me? It's not the Shirley Glass one I've already got that.

Kaykat Sat 18-Aug-12 17:17:55

That's the one thanks Mome

Madcaplady Sat 18-Aug-12 18:24:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Madcap you can browse Mumsnet on the mobile browser, they are mobile friendly wink no android app yet indeed...

How are you finding the Shirley Glass one Kaykat? I found that so incredibly helpful. An amazing woman called whenwillifeelnormal recommended that book to me over 2 years ago and it was so helpful.

Ahhh lovely madcap how is CaptainDippy these days? I'm not her friend on fb yet wink

LM and I spoke last night, just as friends, he contacted me first. I'm not texting him myself these days but letting him manage this whole crisis with the space he needs. It was really nice, I felt that I did what I "should" have been doing all along and just supporting him. I didn't feel emotional after, at peace actually! So thank you for the prayers. I need them.

I've just lurked on a couple of threads in this topic section and read everything. I do not normally read them at all. Life is too busy to sit on mn all day for me nowadays, let alone have an intelligent discussion! I do not really talk to any atheists and it has been eye opening reading the posts.

I was born into a Christian family. I wouldn't say I have followed it all blindly but for me, my faith isn't just a comfort, I truly feel God's presence when I pray and too many things occur, for me to put it down to coincidence but I'm no Theologian and couldn't answer anything on those threads if I tried. Mine's definitely a childlike faith blush Must appear foolish to some.

Feeling quite introspective after reading them. I do need to read some more books. Sarah Williams book called The Shaming of the Strong is on my list to read. I am reading another great Christian book right now which is such easy reading. Much better than the 50 shades books I decided to read before and a couple of others blush Those are not helpful as a single divorced woman blush

SESthebrave Sat 18-Aug-12 23:05:28

Necklace still not found but SIL decided to phone her friend and tell her. Turns out it's not the friend's late grandmother's as thought so slight relief.

Mome - sounds like you are doing really well through staying close to God

Prayers too for DO, PA, MadCap, KayKat, Jan and everyone else in need

Have a lovely time madcap and say a bi hello to Dippy from me! grin

A slight relief over the necklace, then SES . Thank you for your prayers. Yesterday was a good day and today has started well too. wink
I need to be brave and go shopping here without DH today as I need to get him a birthday present for tomorrow. I know what I want to get him, but a bit stuck on where to go. I am praying I can get what he would like.

Have a good day everyone.

Flooded Sun 19-Aug-12 11:45:16

Thankyou everyone for your prayers. He passed over to god's care this morning. He was surrounded by family in the hospice and was sleeping peacefully having sprang an hour with his vicar the previous day x

amberlight Sun 19-Aug-12 13:12:55

Much prayer....

Kaykat Sun 19-Aug-12 21:59:29

Mome I am finding the Shirley Glass book helpful but difficult because it mainly describes men who chose to end an affair and work on their marriage and that's not my H so I end up in tears reading it and have to leave it for a few days.

Yes, it certainly made me realise my ExH was not prepared to put in the work to save our marriage and I even realised that it had never ended like he claimed. Good book but yes it can be painful x

jan2011 Mon 20-Aug-12 17:33:27

Its not a good time for my laptop to have broke down. I'm on my phone, dh stayed the weekend and its been so hard with him going on about giving him another chance. He is currently packing to leave tonight I'm drained in every way its so hard

Glad he is leaving again and giving you space. How is your DD sleeping now? Are bedtimes still tricky?

Btw I have to use a separate fb messages application on my iphone. The messages do not come through on the fb app iyswim? But I only said to enjoy the evening and put your feet up on Saturday night grin

All a bit odd here, most of you probably saw my fb status today. Also LM after being busy and away with work for a week has spoken to me a few times since back and came by for a cuppa this morning confused Ah well I still have a peace and feel detached and that's what matters!

SESthebrave Mon 20-Aug-12 21:28:55

Had a great weekend with rellies from Ireland and DD's baptism smile Prayers of thanks for God's blessings - I have 2 gorgeous children and wonderful ILs! Also prayers of thanks for bumping into a couple I know from church as we were coming back from London on the train today, just at the moment we needed help with getting 2 buggies across a footbridge!

Jan - prayers for you (and your laptop)

MomeRaths - prayers for you and LM

Prayers for others too. Have bought myself a new notebook to start a prayer diary in the hope of getting my prayer life back on track and more regular. Prayers for that please!

Tuo Mon 20-Aug-12 23:02:48

Hello all.

Mome... I know what you mean about those threads. I do sometimes post (but mostly when I feel that people are asking genuine questions, not when they are just out to prove that one way of thinking is 'right' and another 'wrong') but I don't always feel sure enough of my answers to want to stick my neck out. I've just had a go now, but I feel I've probably written a load of nonsense. Praying that some of it will make sense to someone... if only to me!

I was thinking about reading some more too, and would welcome suggestions. Ironically, because of what I do for a living, I've read lots of early biblical commentary, lots of St Augustine, a bit of Aquinas, etc... but nothing really beyond the 13th century. (I know, I know... I have some catching up to do!)

Prayers for Kaykat and Jan. I'm sorry that things are difficult for you now. Also for you, Momeraths. I'm glad you're feeling more peaceful re. LM.

Prayers of thanks for your dd's baptism, SES. I'm glad it was a wonderful day.

Prayers for your family Flooded. I'm glad that your grandfather's passing was peaceful.

Also praying for PA, for Madcap (and Dippy), for Amber, for DO and Bob and for everyone.

Tuo Tue 21-Aug-12 00:18:10

Ooh, OP on that thread found my rambling thoughts useful. I am smile at the thought of having been useful to someone.

Kaykat Tue 21-Aug-12 09:06:37

SES can you tell me how a prayer diary works? My prayers are very random and disorganised and usually just in desperation these days. I would like to become more committed to prayer, especially when I begin to recover from my current emotional roller coaster and a diary sounds like a good way to achieve it.

HaveALittleFaith Tue 21-Aug-12 09:20:36

I'm sure SES will tell you about hers but I use two - DH and I have just a notebook and pray in the following order - thank you, sorry, please. We talk it through and write it down. Every so often we go back and tick off answered prayers. That's a nice simple way of doing it.

I also have this prayer journal. It's lovely - takes you through month by month, gives a structured format and has a blank section to write/do what you like. I tend to draw pictures (I'm no artist but it helps me!).

Love the prayer journal but the price is shock

HaveALittleFaith Tue 21-Aug-12 16:36:39

I bought it from Grapevine. It is helpful to me (she of a distracted nature) to have the structure but just using a nice notebook and prayer structure is probably all that's necessary!

Kaykat Tue 21-Aug-12 19:19:08

Thanks HaveALittleFaith.

Another difficult day for me. Found out via facebook messages which got emailed to our home email that H is now chasing after a 19 year old girl (that's well under half his age). He invited her to dinner and to go camping with him.

It helps me to know where I stand. His affair was not a one off and it's clear I wont be able to trust him again. I suspect he would argue that we are separated so it's ok but we are only separated because I refused to put up with his other affair. I know that in law it is adultery until a decree absolute is issued even if you are separated.

Ladies do you think me finding this out is part of God's plan? Do you think He wants me to get free and has better things planned for me? It has stopped me wavering and thinking there may be a chance he might eventually be remorseful and it has stopped me feeling sorry for him being on his own because I now know he is having no problem entertaining himself. I have always had strong views that marriage is for life it's hard to accept it may not be.

Oh dear Kaykat. I felt very firmly that God was making it clear that I needed to let go and divorce my H. Due to praying and a picture coming into my head, after months of begging God that we'd work things out. Also a series of shocking events, pushed me to submit the petition to my solicitor. My pastor also endorsed it. It's very very hard though at the time.

I think it is only a good thing you've found out that he is a serial philanderer but it must hurt so much and your self esteem maybe at rock bottom. Can I give you a ((hug)) sad

It's almost like he wants you to find out, he's not exactly hiding his tracks by not adjusting his privacy settings on fb or his e-mail address.

Please get lots of advice from Womensaid on how to protect yourself and stop your H poisoning your son against you x

Kaykat Tue 21-Aug-12 20:43:44

He is trying to hide things but not very good at it. He probably doesn't realise fb sends emails and he often takes the laptop with him but this week he forgot.

I tried to phone WA a few times but so far always busy and they don't answer. Do you think they can stop him doing that? He did it again at the weekend by suggesting a holiday in September which obviously I had to say no and that made me look like the bad guy. Each time DS only stayed cross with me for a few minutes his bond with me is very strong. But he also admires his dad a lot and I don't think it would be fair to deny him that relationship.

They offer advice more than anything. Where is your nearest women's centre? Perhaps going in is better than phoning?

Kaykat Tue 21-Aug-12 21:00:24

It doesn't look like there's one in my area. They are in large towns about 20 miles away in either direction but appear to be specifically for those towns.

It doesn't matter, you can just turn up and go in. If you can get there. They welcome anyone who needs advice.

I've had a headache for 2 days now, swollen glands, stiff neck and my head is tender to the touch. There's no one to look after the kids if I fall really ill. Can you pray it just goes away?

Off to bed, hoping an early night may help.

gingercurl Wed 22-Aug-12 19:02:54

It's been rather quiet here, hasn't it?

HaveALittleFaith Wed 22-Aug-12 19:06:42

It has hadn't it?

Mome I've been praying - how are you feeling?

kaykat how are things progressing? Did you get hold of woman's aid?

I'm cheerfully shattered and puking. Apparently I'm now 4+5. Off to the doctors tomorrow just because of all my ongoing health problems.

My head still has a dull ache to it but not like yesterday! So thank you for the prayers smile

ExH wants to spend Saturday at mine with the kids. I think he's camping out hiding from his ex girlfriend when she's off work (a.k.a the OW he left me for in 2009), until he finds somewhere to move to. Dearie me. Still the kids enjoy seeing him <shrugs>

HaveALittleFaith Wed 22-Aug-12 20:44:02

Glad you're on the mend Mome. Will pray that continues.

SESthebrave Wed 22-Aug-12 21:31:36

MomeRaths - that probably is what he's doing but hopefully it will give you a bit of time. Glad you're feeling better.

Faith - prayers for enough symptoms to be reassuring but without being too debilitating

Ginger - hello! How are you?

Kaykat - prayers...

DO - prayers that your trip continues well

TUO - I saw your post on that thread and thought it was really well worded. Reading it, it seemed like the Holy Spirit was working through you to give you the words you were looking for that would help those reading, particularly the OP.

Prayer Diary - I literally just use a notebook and write down what I'm praying about or if there is a reading that's particularly spoken to me. I try to carry it round with me so I can make ad hoc notes before I forget.

Prayers too for Jan, PA, Lost, Amber, Mary, Flooded, FoD8, Blue, *BES and anyone else in need of prayer.

Tuo Wed 22-Aug-12 23:11:23

Thank you so much SES. That's such a nice thing to say and it means a lot to me. It took me a long time to write the post, and I kept almost deleting the whole thing (I think there was a whole meaningless ramble paragraph that did get binned!) and then forcing myself to try to get something down.

Mome: I'm so pleased you're feeling better. Praying for a continued recovery and that it'll be OK with your XH on Saturday. I had somehow missed that he was no longer with OW. Hang on in there.

Faith: I forgot for a moment that you were pregnant and wondered why you were so happy to be puking confused, but then I read on and remembered. grin Praying for all to go well for you and your LO.

SES: Any news on the missing necklace?

Praying for DO on her travels, that she will enjoy herself and enjoy spending time with her family, and that Bob will stay well. (There's a thread on this board which is called something like 'DD knows all about my past life', except that I keep reading it as 'DO knows all about my past life', and making myself smile at the thought that DO knows everything!)

Praying for BES, that she's OK and not swamped in her hated paperwork.

Also praying for MHD, that she's continuing to be well; for Mary, that her summer has taken a turn for the better; for lost, that her move has gone well; for weegie, for continued improvements in her health; for jan and kaykat, for their relationships; and for expat.

My DDs are back today after a week staying with my parents, and the house is back to its usual chaotic noisy (DD1 plays the tuba, so you can imagine!) state. I enjoyed the peace and missed them like mad at one and the same time. Thanks for their safe journey today (it's a long way - nearly 400 miles - and DH met them halfway) and for the great privilege of wonderful, caring grandparents that they have been lucky enough to know (I only knew one of my grandparents, and both dh's parents are dead).

Kaykat Wed 22-Aug-12 23:26:01

I found a couple of badly hidden emails between H and OW today. He told her such a pack of lies I almost felt sorry for her. The things he said about me and about his feelings for her make it sound like all the years with me meant nothing.

Please pray for DS. H has realised that offering him trips abroad which I then refuse is a good way to turn him against me. DS is adamant he wants to go abroad with him on a very long trip. I tried to explain to DS why it's not a good idea but he just repeats what H has said and he desperately wants to go. Please pray for a change of heart.

I only mentioned it on fb TUO blush But yes I found out a few days ago. Still very odd.

H has realised that offering him trips abroad which I then refuse is a good way to turn him against me.

Could your H even afford one? What sort of trips is he suggesting? I'd be tempted to call his bluff <childish> He sounds too selfish to keep up this façade of being a hero Dad with DS for long and your DS would see him for his true cheating colours soon enough. Kids aren't daft.

In all seriousness though, I will pray, this must all be very distressing for you right now and your son shouldn't be dragged into it by your H sad

Tuo Wed 22-Aug-12 23:48:20

That must be quite disconcerting for you, Mome.

It's really desperately unfair of your H to use your DS against you, Kaykat. I'm so sad to read of him doing that, because he's hurting his son, not only you. I have no good advice, but I will keep praying.

thanks and a brew to both of you...

gingercurl Thu 23-Aug-12 20:52:59

Lurking and praying, as ever.
Hello SES! I wish I could say that I am just fine, but in truth, I'm panicking about my thesis, I have major writer's block, don't know what I've spent the last three years doing, and I'm very uncertain I'll ever get this PhD. I'm a dreadful procrastinator. I'm T-I-R-E-D. I keep waking up at night, fretting about how I'm supposed to achieve this. When I do sleep I get woken regularly by DS who has recently taken to coming in to our bed at about 1 in the morning and then spends the next three hours tossing, fidgetting, climbing on top of me (less so on his dad) and then wakes up at 7:30 asking if it's time to get up yet and as DH just will not wake up no matter what, I end up getting up fixing him breakfast, etc. This last bit is a cause for friction between DH and I as it is very rare that I ever get a lie in since we've had DS. I feel like I've been sleep deprived for the last 5 years. Last night I got 4 hours sleep, courtesy DS. I can't remember what energetic and rested feels like anymore. DH works long hours, often well into the night and it's become a bit too convenient for him, I feel, to leave the looking after DS to me. As I'm a student, my schedule is somewhat more flexible than his and this has worked to my disadvantage. Even this week, when DH is on holiday to be with DS, so no urgent emails late at night and no deadlines to meet, and I am working, he still doesn't get to bed until about 3 and then sleeps until 10 or later, while I'm trying to get away so that I can get on with my thesis.

I've tried talking to him about it but he will first get defensive, then say he'll address it but then it only lasts a few days and we're back to where we started. And when he does get up earlier, he is so tired and in a grumpy mood and shouts at DS and is really rather heavy handed with him which I think is wrong, so we have another disagreement... sadangry

I love DH and DS but sometimes I just feel so trapped between them.

Sorry of long post/rant blush. I bet you wished you hadn't asked.

Tuo Fri 24-Aug-12 01:13:14

Oh dear, gingercurl. I am so sorry that things are difficult. If it's any consolation, I don't know anyone who's done a PhD (including me, my dh and all the people I've worked with and supervised!) who haven't felt like you're feeling now at some point in the process... if not the whole time. Telling you that it's normal doesn't actually do anything to make it better, I know, but... well, it is normal!

I sympathise too with the situation re. your dh. I've always been more of an owl than a lark and I am very bed at going to bed (check out the time of this post!). But I have tried to 'reset' my body clock this summer and generally I've been going to bed earlier and getting up earlier and feeling better for it. Can you do a deal with your dh whereby he tries to get to bed by a specific time, moving it forward by only, say, 20 mins a day, until he has a more normal pattern?

Prayers for you in your situation, anyway. I pray for inspiration for your writing, harmony in your relationship with your dh, and peace and rest for you all.

We are meant to be going away this weekend and dh has managed to 'do something' to his back. He thinks he's just pulled a muscle but he's clearly in a lot of pain. Praying it will not be anything too serious and that we'll still have a nice time.

gingercurl Fri 24-Aug-12 02:00:32

Tuo praying for your DH's back and that you will get away and have a good time. Thanks for your prayers.

amberlight Fri 24-Aug-12 19:31:41

Keeping prayers going

jan2011 Fri 24-Aug-12 19:43:23

Really upset! Dh angry tonite when he handed dd back, his parents r going mad and r blaming me for it all and I'm so so upset I don't know how to get thru this. To do a volunteer shift tomorrow too. I can't get into my emails from this phone, I've no laptop and now no tv and dd broke it and I won't ask him to fix it.

There's not much worse than being guilt tripped and blamed for it all. It's far easier for him to blame you, than to face the fact that he is also to blame for this sad But you're left feeling awful. And it's not appropriate at pick up and drop off's with your child to do this and he needs to stop. It will make it distressing for her.

You have my number Jan, please call if it would help love x

Can a friend look at the tv for you?

P.S I don't have your number. I looked through our private messages on fb which go right back to the beginning of June but cannot see your number on there. I sent you mine on 6th August but I'm not sure if you can read your messages now.

I am lurking and praying each day, but am feeling a bit overwhelmed here, so finding it hard to add too much to the thread.

One answer to prayer is that DH bought a moto yesterday to help our transport needs. Unfortunately he crashed this morning with DS on the back. DS came off worse, but they are both ok, but very shaken. Please prayer for our safety here as things are totally crazy!

amberlight Sat 25-Aug-12 09:26:40

PA, heck! Much prayer for safety there...
Jan, I too am concerned that he's showing anger towards you at drop off. that's very inappropriate. You are within your rights to ask for a change in child contact arrangements if that happens - for example dropping off a child via someone else.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sat 25-Aug-12 11:03:59

<fights way out of paperwork>

well I am back for the weekend a bit scared because it is that time of year again... <quick scan of room> and it is really messy here i was goiing to tidy up this holiday but have been busy looking after mum there are too many places for them to hide... <whimper> and there was a big one in the washing heap before I left.. <shudder> I am hoping it is not going to be as bad as last year... <cries>

have read through, honest! how is the organisatiopn going re new place to live jan? hope ds is ok pa... ?

Spidatrap? Bit pricey though but they work so I hear.

gingercurl Sat 25-Aug-12 11:59:44

Goodness, PA. Prayers for safety on and off the roads, guidance and clear heads in the craziness, peace and joy that passes all understanding. Prayers also for your DC in the UK. I lived in SE Asia in my teens and empathise with the sense of alieness. Everything is so very different from what we are used to in the West, not just living conditions and culture, but mentality, frames of reference... the lot.

Prayers for everyone else, as well.

madhairday Sat 25-Aug-12 12:50:27

Hello! Back from a lovely week camping in Wales, was a lovely break despite rain. We had some sunny days and even got to lie on the beach in the sun smile Will read and catch up properly - have been holding you in my prayers. Just got embroiled in reading that huge long thread - really have better things to do!! Off to read the others too....TUO just to say I always think you post meaningful and helpful posts on these threads - keep going for it smile I think that all of us can say stuff - even if only short sentences of support etc - it can get hard though. I am reading 'Simply Christian' by Tom Wright atm and finding it incredibly helpful, and it may be informing my posts for a while to come ;) I do know what you mean when you say these threads can throw you into a kind of turmoil - I like to turn it on its head by going and reading more about it and studying and praying, and often find it is within the turmoil where God works the most and reassures me of his presence etc. Keep going for it!

Madcaplady Sat 25-Aug-12 14:32:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madhairday Sat 25-Aug-12 14:51:16

What a lovely post, madcap! So glad you got to meet with Dippy twice - we miss her here!

PA - praying, crikey, things sound fairly crazy for you there. Hope everyone is ok and feeling less shocked now.

Tuo Sat 25-Aug-12 18:15:44

Welcome back MHD and Madcap. Glad you've both had fun. We're away this weekend, but it's pouring with rain and our hotel has wifi, so I'm drying out with MN after a lovely but sodden walk. DH's back is getting better (just a pulled muscle) so thanks for prayers for that.

Continued prayers for Jan and Kaykat and also, in particular today, for PA. Hope DS is OK and that things get easier for you soon over there.

Thanks for your vote of confidence MHD and Madcap. I am still reluctant to get too stuck in, as I have limited time and don't want it to look as if I'm posting and running - unable to defend my views. (I like this thread because it doesn't matter if I come along and post my thoughts and prayers at 1 a.m. and then disappear off for three days, but I feel that with those more heated debates one has to 'keep up'...) But I'll try to feel more confident where I do think I have something useful to contribute.

DutchOma Sat 25-Aug-12 18:18:46

I feel such a fool. I thought I made travel arrangements to travel back on the nightboat on the Tuesday evening, arriving back in the UK on Wednesday morning, but instead I am now travelling back on Wednesday, arriving back on Thursday. Then Bob comes back on Friday, so I have hardly got any time to do shopping and get ready for him coming home.
Unfortunately he has not had a very good time of it. DS has tried to shield me from the worst of it, but apparently he phoned my brother before I was even off the boat to say this was not the place for him to be and he wanted out. I have no idea what he expected me to do about it, it was hardly fair of him to ring my brother, who told him so in no uncertain terms.
Frankly, I am really worried about how I am going to cope with it all. Of course I am still tired and will be in need of a holiday when I come back (as you do), but instead there will be the interminable round of making suitable meals and doing the shopping for it, while nothing will make him happy or even content. I know it is the illness speaking and I love him to bits, but I can't say I'm looking forward to getting home and starting it all over again.
Can I ask for your prayers?
So, MCL, you will have to wave on Thursday, not Wednesday morning, ok?

madhairday Sat 25-Aug-12 18:46:10

Of course DO, I am praying, right now, that things will be better, that you will know peace and even enjoy your last few days of your holiday. Could you do an online shop to arrive when you get home or could someone do it for you? Sending love.

SESthebrave Sat 25-Aug-12 18:51:18

Praying quickly whilst DS is occupied eating a late tea.

DO - praying for your journey back, that Bob will have settled into the respite place more as time has gone on, for you to feel refreshed on your return home.
I think MHD's suggestion of doing an online shop is an excellent one if you can.

PA - prayers for you and all your family but particularly DH and DS. Hope they're still doing ok.

Prayers for everyone else... Jan, KayKat, BES, MHD, Amber, TUO, Ginger and everyone else in need

Madcaplady Sat 25-Aug-12 20:53:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HaveALittleFaith Sat 25-Aug-12 20:57:32

Reading and praying, especially ongoing for DO, Kaykat and Jan.

I am doing ok, just tired and sicky! Things are getting better with DH gradually. The first Relate session was enlightening and we are going to go for regular session to talk through things and deal with ongoing issues. I feel like its not so much about what happened to us causing our problems, rather they exposed our weaknesses.but at least we admit there's a problem and we can deal with it before we have a baby!

amberlight Sat 25-Aug-12 21:05:22

DO, much prayer for strength and peace of mind for you.
And for everyone else here....

DutchOma Sun 26-Aug-12 18:18:08

Thanks for the offer MCL, but until I get home, I don't really know what I need. Online shopping is a good idea though, I only tend to do it twice a year when I need toilet rolls and washing powder.
I had a text from ds to say Bob had slept better and was happier than he had been, so think you for your prayers.
I had a lovely day with my brother (who is a conjuror) at a small place nearby. It was a Middle Ages theme day, with everybody in costume, people even lent me a cape and a little bonnet, not sure how stupid I looked, but it was lovely and warm. We had torrential rain at times, but were under canvas cover.

madhairday Sun 26-Aug-12 20:36:39

That's good DO. Continuing to pray.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sun 26-Aug-12 23:51:53

oo do I am sure you looked lovely...

glad bob is feeling a little better about being away.

we managed to get to the museum in town. I could not cope with anything more than the very familiar and would have prefered to stay in bed all day. now I do not want to go to bed. <sigh> visions of the hospital and the last days are coming back and catching me out.

also ds uttered the dreaded words... put it this way it is a long time before I will relax on the sofa... (counts down the days til october... )

madhairday Mon 27-Aug-12 10:20:26

Morning all....morning BES. Hope all is OK? Praying for you...

Can I ask for prayer this morning - feeling battered all round with rl stuff, aggression towards me on a certain thread <I know, I know, I really shouldn't get involved> grin and nightmares all night. Bit bashed!!

DO, continuing to pray.

DutchOma Mon 27-Aug-12 16:15:51

Yes, time to come out of that thread Madhairy grin. Sorry to hear about rl problems and thank you for your prayers.
I am back in Eindhoven now, the sun is shining and I have whole day to myself and a free railway ticket, so where shall I go?

madhairday Mon 27-Aug-12 18:12:16

Oh DO don't you start!

<contemplates shaving legs>

<can't be arsed>

Ooh hope you have had a good day, wherever you decided to go!

DutchOma Mon 27-Aug-12 18:13:18

It's tomorrow I'm making plans for

Tuo Mon 27-Aug-12 18:24:22

Back from my weekend away and had a fab time, despite the atrocious weather.

MHD, sorry you felt attacked on that thread. It's very hard, and I do admire how you keep at it and don't just say 'Oh get lost then' and walk away. I am happy to try to answer any genuine questions (if I feel able to answer them) but when the whole purpose of the thread is to tell me that I'm wrong (not just me, obviously) then I don't think I have the stomach for it... Praying for a more peaceful night for you, and for RL stuff to sort itself out.

DO, have a lovely day tomorrow. Praying for you to enjoy the rest of your break without worrying about what will happen when you get back. Also praying that Bob will continue to be happier and that your return won't be as big a jolt back to reality as you fear.

Faith, praying that Relate will be helpful to you.

BES, praying that the things you fear will leave you well alone this Autumn.

gingercurl Mon 27-Aug-12 19:22:11

Thanks for prayers. DH and DS have been away since Friday evening to give me space to work on my thesis. I have achieved only a fraction of what I wanted, but am in a better place "head-wise". I'm still scared, and I still doubt I can do this, but I do feel a little more positive about it. I've had the opportunity to completely immerse myself in it this weekend, something I simply can't do when DS or DH is around. Now I just need to get productive and keep up the "immersed" mindset, though I'm not sure how to manage that. I find writing really difficult. I usually don't have to do many drafts, but even getting to first draft is so, so hard.

Praying for everyone.

Tuo Mon 27-Aug-12 19:53:47

Gingercurl... I also find it very difficult to start writing, though once I get going I can write pretty well. I try to force myself to get something - anything - down on paper as a starting-point, even if I know it's rubbish not exactly what I am aiming at, and then I find that, once I'm 'in the groove' I can go back and edit what I wrote initially to make it fit in with where I eventually ended up. This is NOT, on the whole, how I advise others to do it, but I have never ever been able to plan what I want to say in advance, and I find it works for me and gets me over that initial hump.

Glad to hear you've had a good weekend with the thesis anyway. Praying that your focus will stay with you and that the writing will come to you...

I need to try to finish an article this week, so please pray that I take my own advice and just get my head down and write something! (DH is back at work, so I'll be doing it around my DDs, but they pretty much take care of themselves these days as long as I remember to feed them occasionally wink!)

Madcaplady Mon 27-Aug-12 20:37:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gingercurl Mon 27-Aug-12 22:10:43

Thanks for your encouraging words, Tuo. I used to be like you with regards to writing but following a stroke 7 years ago, which affected my speech at the time but reversed itself, I never quite seem to get over that initial hump anymore and it just continues to be an uphill struggle, albeit the slope does ease off a little after a long while. Makes me wonder even more why I ever thought this was a good idea hmmwink. Praying for inspiration, concentration and motivation for you.

Praying for comfort and peace for MCL.

Tuo Mon 27-Aug-12 22:48:13

Crikey, gingercurl... that must have been terrifying. Sending even more prayers for inspiration for you.

Prayers for you too, MCL.

lostmywellies Mon 27-Aug-12 23:40:30

Hello, everyone, nice to see you all again after a month's absence! I tried to post a few days ago, but something went wrong, so hoping for no technical hitches this time...

Well, we're in our new house and gradually sorting ourselves out. The move went well and the house and new hometown are lovely. We are within easy reach of a playground for the first time in six years! Yay!

Marriage-wise, things seem ok one day and bad the next. I don't know. I told him what I was thinking (that maybe I'd have to walk out one day, the reasons I thought that) as clearly as I could, which of course made things rather emotionally turbulent for a while. I don't know if things have been resolved or not. I might try counselling just to talk it all through with someone.

Praying as I read through (the last few days, at least)...

Kaykat Tue 28-Aug-12 09:31:43

Over my long weekend I spent two days with friends - mums with DCs who played with my DS and he had fun. My friends have both been cheated on by former partners so had some very good advice and very supportive.

The other two days with H hanging around. Talked lots but he still shows no remorse or honesty and it appears he wants to drift back to me if he can. He keeps trying but I am not allowing any intimacy. Spoke to WA and there's no way to stop him turning up whenever he pleases. They gave me the number for a local group but so far only answer phone.

DS has been talking about what would happen if we split up. He now seems to accept that H's behaviour towards me is unacceptable. He keeps saying he prefers it when H isnt here. This means H's attempts to turn DS against me are not working. Thank you for your prayers on this and please keep praying my biggest worries are around what will happen with DS if we split.

Have read through and praying for everyone. I don't have a church at the moment so this thread is such a blessing for me.

amberlight Tue 28-Aug-12 15:18:47

Prayers continuing...

Tuo Wed 29-Aug-12 00:00:13

Have managed to write a very little today. Hooray!

Gingercurl - hope you've had a productive day

Lost - it's good to have you back.

Kaykat - that's very reassuring that your DS is talking like that. Be assured of my continuing prayers for your situation and that your DS emerges as unscathed as possible.

Praying tonight for all those in the path of Hurricane Isaac, especially for those still recovering (mentally, if not practically) from the effects of Katrina and for the emergency services over there. May those who are afraid be comforted, those who can't sleep be granted rest, and those who are at risk be kept safe.

DutchOma Wed 29-Aug-12 07:47:37

I've had two messages and a phonecall from Bob this morning, all before seven oçlock his time.
He sounds desperate, not drinking, not sleeping, nobody listening... I know that is not true, I also know I cannot do anything about it. Both ds and the staff are trying to help, but getting somewhat fed up with his lack of co-operation.
I've not slept very well myself, churning tummy and a funny unexplained pain that is still nagging away in the background. And I have this journey to do tonight, with very little help as dbrother and family are all busy and/or away.

SESthebrave Wed 29-Aug-12 08:50:29

Lurking and praying whilst feeding DD. Prayers for all...

DO - praying for you on your return. Can Bob be down like this usually from time to time? I guess kind of understandable if he is but tough on you and others. I wish I lived closer and I could pop round easily to give you a rest and someone else for Bob to chat to. Do you have any support like that or anyone that could do that?

Request for prayer from me please. Our parish has 3 churches all with decent sized communities. Across the parish there are 2 masses each day with 3 on Saturday and 4 on Sunday. They are all well attended. Up until this weekend, we had 3 priests and a deacon. This weekend one of our priests was moving on to another parish and the Bishop had said he couldn't replace him as there weren't enough priests. We were all adjusting to going down to 2 priests. Then one of our other priests this weekend announced that with immediate effect, he was leaving to take some time out to reasses his priestly vocation. I'm gutted for the parish and (selfishly) for me as this particular priest and I had been working closely on the RCIA group for people enquiring into Christianity / Catholocism. The group starts next Tues and we have 10 inquirers coming but no priest available to support so a lot will fall on me. I will also miss the wise and valued input of this priest as well as being concerned for him personally. I think it's taken great courage for him to take this course of action and will be praying that God will enlighten him in what he should be doing and help him in whatever he does next.
Prayers too please for the one priest and Deacon left. I think short term they will be supported by a mixture of retired priests but it won't be easy.

DutchOma Wed 29-Aug-12 09:06:13

SES yes, we do have quite a bit of support from the church and also professionally.Also a couple of people that Bob used to work with have offered help. The main worry is that he sounds so 'deranged', he seems to have lost touch with reality and cannot see that people are trying to help him. We shall need a lot of help once he is back, I'm sure.

What a very difficult situation for you to be in concerning the parish. I'm praying for you that God Himself will step into the breach and make ample provision for you and all the people involved.
I know what you mean by "a mixture of retired priests" but wondered what our Amber would make of it?

HaveALittleFaith Wed 29-Aug-12 09:15:48

Lurking and praying. DO do you think part of Bob's behaviour might be defensive, in that he worries if he's ok where he is he'll worry it'll become permanent? Praying for healing to your stomach/selling of pain and for a good journey.

SES it sounds like a difficult situation. Definitely courageous for the priest to admit how he's feeling but difficult for your parish. I will pray that God has a plan for the situation.

Praying for kay and jan for strength to get through your situations and rise above them long term.

I'm ok, just shattered! Less sicky of late which is good. Had to give up tea because it seemed to trigger things off. Prayers for energy and an easy week would be appreciated! smile

DutchOma Wed 29-Aug-12 10:00:03

Faith Hopefully you will feel more 'normal' as your pregnancy continues, as matters stand you probably won't mind the 'small' inconveniences.
Yes, I think there may be something in what you say about Bob, in a way I hope it is. The trouble is of course, as ds has already pointed out to him, that if he is not prepared to let me have the occasional 'time out' I will be far less able to cope and he WILL have to go into permanent care. The matter will simply be taken out of our hands if I get ill.

Prayers for you and Bob, DO. For a good journey back home and for things to be calm on your return.

Faith prayers for that situation too.

THings are going well here. It is very up and down, but today is good, anyway. ALthough I desperately needed some things from the market and due to some niggly things we didn't get there this afternoon, now it is torrential rain and I really need these things before I can cook tea. I have just sent DH out in the rain to get it all!! hmm Maybe we should get a bit better organised.
Please pray for an irritating rash on my legs, which is driving me mad. ALso please continue to pray for peace for DD1 and a job would be good, too! wink

Thank you. smile

amberlight Wed 29-Aug-12 11:40:59

DO, much prayer...

cloutiedumpling Wed 29-Aug-12 13:15:23

Lurking and praying, praying and lurking.

DO - praying.

We're good here. The DSs have settled well back into school and DD has passed her latest HV check.

SESthebrave Wed 29-Aug-12 16:07:00

DO - I think Faith could be right about Bob's worries about permanent care too. I can see how this actually perpetuates what he doesn't want though...
Praying for you, Bob, DS and DD.

PA - prayers for your rash and for DD1

Faith - prayers for energy and enough symptoms to be reassuring without being debilitating.

Continuing to pray for those with relationships issues - Jan, KayKat and Lost particularly.

MCL - prayers for you. I still miss my Nana greatly and it was 14yrs ago.

MHD - hope you're feeling less battered and keeping well.

Cloutie - good to hear from you and sounds like you're all doing well.

Thanks for your prayers re our parish situation. Amber - do you have a link with retired priests or something? Hope I didn't say anything offensive?!

HaveALittleFaith Wed 29-Aug-12 19:09:13

I see it quite a lot at work - where people need to go to respite or who refuse to accept they need help when accepting that help would mean they could continue in their circumstances for longer. It's ironic and often a defense mechanism. I hope you have an ok journey.

Tuo Wed 29-Aug-12 23:07:21

Have been shopping for school uniform/shoes for the DDs today. Why do I always leave it to the last minute? It was frenetic and exhausting and all a bit AAARGH! grin Not much writing done today!

Praying for Oma tonight as she travels back to the UK. Praying for a safe trip and for you to find Bob in better spirits when you get back. Wise words from Faith there. He's obviously frustrated and scared and defensive and tired... but he needs to see that, precisely because he is all those things, he needs to allow people to help him (and to help you, so that you can help him). It's such a difficult situation, but I am praying for strength for both of you and for your to be provided with all the practical and moral support that you need.

Praying forSES and the situation in your parish - for the priest who has admitted to doubts about his vocation to see clearly God's plan for him, and for you to be the inspirational course leader that I am sure you are, even if you do have to 'go it alone'.

Continuing to pray for PA - for you all to feel at home there very soon, for your rash to go away and stop bothering you, and for peace for your DD. Are your DH and DS OK now after their accident?

Praying for energy for Faith and for an ongoing healthy pregnancy.

Prayers of thanks for a good start to the school year for the Cloutie family.

And prayers for everyone else who frequents this thread, for anyone who lurks but doesn't feel able to post (I suspect there may be some, as I was one for quite a while!), and for those known to us who need prayer.

jan2011 Thu 30-Aug-12 08:08:40

hey everyone

got comp back and fixed, i feel bad but i just cannot get online much anymore with my new lifestyle - can't open laptop with dd here, and when she goes asleep i have stuff to do then fall into bed knackered. i sometimes read the prayer requests and am praying - much love to you all

quick update - dh has been out a couple of weeks nearly, and things have been hard, but its been more peaceful, ive been more able to focus on the lord and find peace and joy within even though the lack of sleep and energy has been hard. his family have not taken it well, and i am soo sad about dds birthday in a few weeks time which i wanted to be a joyous occasion but i will not be looking forward to the joint celebrations.

dh i don't think realises what he is like - he was so apologetic at the beginning and said it was all his fault - but now, he isn't really. we aren't really getting along and now he realises whats happening he seems not to have realised the great need for change.

thinking of you all - kaykat, and those in similar situations, much prayer for DO and Bob

Says it all really jan. He would move heaven and Earth to change, if he truly valued you. Instead he's not acknowledging any of the blame it seems and I think his parents are enabling his behaviour too.

Hello everyone.

DO I hope the journey back has gone ok and that today is better than you anticipate. Prayers for you and Bob to have a good relaxing weekend together. <<<much love>>>

tuo thank you for the prayers for my rash. Yesterday I decided that the creams I have been lathering on were doing nothing, so I have just been using a cool shower on them when they get too much to bear. They are certainly not so unsightly today, but still very itchy. Hmmm not too sure what more I can do about it.
DH and DS's grazes and bruises are healing fine, thank you. We had a bit of a bad weekend really. THe moto crash was on Saturday, then Sunday DD4 managed to crash her bicycle into a wall, knocking herself out and totally mangling the bike. I felt confident enough to watch for concussion (ex-nurse), so I watched her like a hawk for 48 hours but all seems fine now, we just need to get the bike repaired, or throw it and buy a new one! Sunday afternoon DH went to buy some water and walking home he got bitten by a dog! shock Panic panic, rabies, rabies!! We phoned the clinic and I have been given all the signs to look for and get him straight to a clinic if he shows any signs at all of being unwell. I don't feel exactly relaxed, I can tell you! grin
DD1 is still very much a worry to me, too. sad

Jan prayers for you as you adjust to this new "chapter" in your life. Prayers for strength and courage for you, for good friends and support. Don't worry, we will still pray for you even if you "disappear" from here for a while. You are in my prayer diary, so will be remembered here.

SES as I was praying for your situation I was clearly reminded of a lesson I learnt while things were going very wrong in our church before we left. I really felt God say to me one day "The one emotion that you have, that I can never have, is surprise! Nothing that happens surprises me, so believe that I have prepared for the surprise." God knew that this would happen and He will be there to help and guide you as you lead this course. I would prefer God on my side than the wisest person I know, so trust Him to give you the words to say.

Incredibly hot here today. I am melting! No sign of the afternoon rains, either, so we could be in for a horribly sticky night.

Have a good day everyone, smile

madhairday Thu 30-Aug-12 10:23:00

Prayers continuing here, esp for DO.

Thanks for prayers, much better after a day with a very dear friend.

still lurking and praying too! smile

Had another appointment at the hospital today, all is fine with me and baby, having another scan in 6 weeks when I'll be 34 weeks smile

DutchOma Thu 30-Aug-12 15:43:52

It's getting so close Blue, so pleased for you.

Well, I am home, had a phonecall from the nursing home to ask when we were going to pick Bob up. I had thought they would bring him home by ambulance, but apparently not. Fortunately ds can bring him home tomorrow. I also had a call from the district nurse who will call in on Monday, the nursing home had contacted her too.
So I have been thrown in at the deep end, before I'm properly home.
Apparently Bob had been a bit of trouble to the nursing home, doing all sorts of weird things, which I won't go into here. Hopefully he will be more settled once he gets home.
Thank you for all your prayers.

HaveALittleFaith Thu 30-Aug-12 16:51:42

Good grief PA it's all go with you isn't it?! Praying for protection at this time. Glad DD didn't sustain a head injury.

Sorry to hear you're in the deep end DO. Praying that you can get things sorted at home quickly and that Bob settles back in.

Glad to hear your appointment went well Blue!

jan the overriding word that stood out in your post is peace. Praying that continues and you draw strength from the Lord.

I had my first ante-natal appointment today smile makes it feel more real! Midwife is lovely and my BMI was under 30 so I'm pleased.

Madcaplady Thu 30-Aug-12 20:30:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SESthebrave Thu 30-Aug-12 21:21:31

Ah MadCapLady - it was PA's wise words prompted by my post smile Really beautiful perspective though which I will try to remember whatever scenario I'm faced with.

Faith - pleased that you had a good first appointment and prayers that everything continues to go well.

Blue - your pg seems to have gone so quickly, although I'm sure it hasn't for you!

DO - continued prayers and hope Bob settles back home. Not easy for you and asking God to hold you in his arms and lift you in his love.

MHD - prayers of thanks for feeling better and time with friend.

PA - so much going on for you and yours. Prayers for DD1 and DH particularly.

Jan - don't worry about "having" to post regularly. We won't forget you in our prayers between posts.

Tuo Fri 31-Aug-12 00:26:26

In haste... Need... to... sleeeeeeeeep... Zzzzzzz!

Just to say that you are all in my thoughts tonight, but especially Oma. I hope that Bob is OK and that his homecoming brings him some happiness.

Haven't done a late-night posting of this on this thead yet, so I reckon it's about due for an outing. I know that its words apply to many who are ill, weary, worried or distressed. May God be with you all.

"Watch, dear Lord, with those who wake, or watch, or weep tonight, and let your angels protect those who sleep. Tend the sick. Refresh the weary. Sustain the dying. Calm the suffering. Pity the distressed. We ask this for the sake of your love. Amen."

madhairday Fri 31-Aug-12 09:38:01

Amen, TUO.

Oh DO. I'm so sorry things are so difficult. Praying for you, for strength, for peace, for comfort and that Bob will feel more calm and peaceful at home. sending love...

Blue, yay!! Can't believe it's getting so close.

Faith, how lovely, glad the mw is nice and all is well. smile

Praying for you all on here.

Would appreciate prayers for dd who is starting secondary school next week. She is getting nervous and I can tell because her psoriasis has flared up badly, which then of course has the knock on effect of making her feel self conscious, and her dermatologist has cancelled her appt on monday with no date for a new one....aaagh.

jan2011 Fri 31-Aug-12 09:52:11

dh upsetting me again not what i need with dd not well and not getting much sleep

sorry to read of all different struggles people facing

life seems so hard sometimes

im reminded that for all the sorrow we get more comfort thru Christ

SESthebrave Fri 31-Aug-12 10:15:43

Jan your post reminded me of this that the Bishop shared many years ago at my CofE confirmation:

God hath not promised skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways all our lives through;
God hath not promised sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.

But God hath promised strength for the day,
Rest for the labor, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
  Unfailing sympathy, undying love.

Prayers for all.

Eeek I could do with some prayers...
When I met with MIL last week she raised some concerns about the progress of my vocation discernment progress and she prompted me to email the DDO to ask for an appointment to discuss things. This morning I got a phone call of my vocations adviser blush. The DDO had forwarded my email to her... I hope I haven't caused too much trouble...
So prayers welcome for God to show me the way forwards in all this.

lostmywellies Fri 31-Aug-12 11:05:12

That's lovely, SES.

amberlight Fri 31-Aug-12 20:12:28

SES, I have links with many Priests, though very few who are retired? I'm not aware of you saying anything untoward, no. It's a difficult situation you're describing.
Prayers all round.

SESthebrave Sun 02-Sep-12 12:52:16

Amber - thanks smile

Just back from church. Getting more stressful with 2 DC. How do others manage?! DD needed feeding, DS needed 2 toilet breaks, DS deciding that his "happy bag" didn't have enough crayons in it. When did I get chance to worship? Not sure I did. There is no crèche but there is a side chapel separated only by a glass wall. That though seems to me says to DS, behave as you want here and still doesn't help get me closer to worshipping and being part of what is happening.

DutchOma Sun 02-Sep-12 13:04:53

SES Any chance of setting up a crech with some other mothers?

SESthebrave Sun 02-Sep-12 13:19:08

Good point DO smile
I think I'll chat to a few about that. It would have to wait until Nov as we're currently in the middle of a new parish centre build with no facilities until then.
DS will soon be old enough for children's liturgy group too which will help. I should never go to church without breakfast too as that doesn't help...

DutchOma Sun 02-Sep-12 14:58:38

Ah, I see. No breakfast is no good at any time, but certainly not before a strenuous trip to church with two llittle ones.

Oh heck SES my church has good children's work from birth onwards. I hand them over and go into church. As a lone parent it was at one stage (when the kids were younger) my only time to stop and sit still and spend time with God. I couldn't join a church with no children's work with a 3 & 5 year old. They'd run rings round me sad

Tuo Sun 02-Sep-12 22:05:11

Hello all! Happy Sunday!

Oma - Have been thinking about you and praying. How are things? I hope that Bob is happier now that he's home.

SES - That does sound hard. I can't remember (sorry) what your situation is (and I know that DD may be too small to be left) but can you perhaps 'divide and conquer' with your DH, so that you maybe attend at different times and leave DS at home with the other parent, at least sometimes, so you can concentrate on the service? In the longer term, a creche run with other parents might well work. Can't talk from experience here, as I didn't start going to church will my two were older, but it does sound like you need to find a way around this... Good luck.

MHD - Praying for your dd to have a smooth transition to secondary, and for her to find some good friends there.

I have been thinking that I'd like to get more involved in my church, or somehow to do more than just turn up on a Sunday (and talk to/pray with you lot, of course grin). It's difficult though, as DH already isn't keen on the fact that I go to church on a Sunday, so he's not going to like me doing more. (And if the truth be told, I feel a bit nervous of even telling him that I want to... though the worst he can do is sulk a bit, I suppose.) And at the moment my work is so full-on that I couldn't give a lot of time anyway... But... well, I am thinking about it, which is a start, I suppose. (Mind you, I 'thought about' going back to church for a good 20 years or so before I actually did it, so I don't have a good record on this! blush) Can you pray that maybe an opportunity will present itself, or that I'll pluck up the courage to go looking for one? Thank you!

SESthebrave Sun 02-Sep-12 22:21:39

Thanks TUO smile DS is 3.4yo and DD is 12 weeks. DH doesn't go to church (except Christmas, Easter, weddings, funerals, baptisms). I might enquire as to whether DS can go to children's liturgy a few months early. He'd want me to go with him to begin with but at least I'd feel like at least one of us was getting some teaching / worship!

Reassuring to hear yours and MomeRaths responses smile

Prayer for all....

DutchOma Mon 03-Sep-12 07:42:44

Thanks TUO and everyone else that's been praying for/thinking about us.
Yes, Bob is happier now that he is at home...I think. He is still not very happy. The district nurse is coming to visit this morning, we will see what other help we can enlist to get him out of the four walls. I am still very tired, although not quite as much as I was, but I've got a bit of a cold.

Hello DO I am glad you and Bob are both home together again. I hope and pray that the cold does not come to much. Make sure you have plenty of rest and catch up on sleep a bit. I hope the district nurse can give you lots of input and guidance as to who can help you today. smile

cloutiedumpling Mon 03-Sep-12 09:39:11

SES - it isn't easy but it does get better as they get older. I have a 2.5 year gap between my oldest two and know where you are coming from. I was lucky in that we do have a creche and Sunday School for children but when we had family services I would have them both with me. During these I found it difficult to concentrate on anything much other than just keeping them quiet. I don't think it doesn't mean that you don't worship though, it is just a different type. Quite often DS1 would ask me questions about what he had heard when we got home which made me see things from a different point of view. DS2 is now doing the same thing. There was a good thread on here quite a while ago with suggestions about how to keep kids quietly entertained.

JugglingWithFiveRings Mon 03-Sep-12 10:03:33

Am really touched to see such a thoughtful and insightful understanding of my needs from MomeRaths in the prayer requests. That's quite some task to do that for everyone - thank you MomeRaths smile

So, if you're happy to be joined by a very liberal and wooley Quaker (perhaps that makes me cuddly ? - DS seems to think so grin) I'm back, because perhaps like the prodigal son I've found I can't get what I find here anywhere else wink

We've had a very good summer this year - all the little bits of hols in different places together with the uplifting backdrop of the Olympics seem to have come together very well for us this year. Hope others have had an enjoyable summer too x

A couple of days left now before we go back and just trying to use them to get a bit organised as that's not a great strength of mine, and your prayers please both for all of that, and that work plans for the new term which are still rather unclear will firm up either today or tomorrow so that I'll have more clarity about the coming term and year. If you like, that God will find me some children to work with for the coming year ... I'm trying to be trusting and seeing the bigger picture. Love to you all x

JugglingWithFiveRings Mon 03-Sep-12 10:07:38

Oh, and we even survived a few days annual summer holiday together relatively unscathed and even with some highlights such as watching the children playing happily on the beach over a couple of days in Sheringham. smile

ZipadiSoozi Mon 03-Sep-12 10:15:50

Heloooooooooooooooow!

At last, not been able to get on MN for weeks, wouldn't accept my code, anyway here now.

My little Amber is poorly sick atm, prayers she gets better soon and doesn't pass it on to her bro!!!!!

Congratulations to my ds1 with his GCSE results, so happy, and got enrolled in college to do and Extended Sports Diploma Lvl 3 - so proud of him and we are getting all the help with his sn anad costs of uniform, books and CRB - he starts tomorrow! actually we don't know what time hmm!

Thank you God for a lovely summer, camping in a tent was ok although we got wet the first weekend, even in my sewn in ground sheet jobby! haha

Hope you have all had a stress free summer with your little ones, at least it hasn't rained much and we've been able to get out and about.

Prayers for all the dc who are starting new schools/college/uni and new year groups

xxxxxxxx

ZipadiSoozi Mon 03-Sep-12 10:22:06

ooh sorry just a little prayer for my health, got a strange pins and needles and numbness in my head, having tests atm to rule out a few things, sure its something and nothing, but still a bit worrrying, dcs put me on ad's to relax my nerves, just in case its a trapped or inflamed nerve, had blood tests and going back to the doctors this Wednesday!

madhairday Mon 03-Sep-12 11:43:58

Great to see you Sooooz! Praying for your health and your tests, and that you won't worry too much about it all. Praying for little A.

Juggling, I'm glad you've come back smile And so pleased you had a good summer. The Olympics was a really uplifting backdrop, I know just what you mean! Praying for you re work things - praying things will become clear for you.

TUO - praying for you as you consider church involvement. It must be hard when dh struggles with it all. Are there any midweek home groups or anything, a good way to get to know more people? Or are you thinking of getting more involved practically on a sunday, with coffee etc? Praying for wisdom for you.

DO - glad B is better at home. Praying he will visibly relax and feel happier, and that things will be a calm oasis for you both in your home.

SES - it is hard! Although my dc are now older I remember balancing baby and toddler and church well. We had a lovely creche but ds wouldn't seperate from me for a loooong time so I seemed to spend years sitting in the creche with him, ended up running it wink Sounds like a good idea to ask other mums if they might be interested in setting something up?

PA - how goes it with you?

Hope everyone is feeling refreshed and ready for the new term. ds has gone back this morning and dd starts at high school tomorrow. I'm feeling focussed and ready to get on with things, which is great as I'd lost direction before the holidays due to lungs being rubbish. I've had a couple of wobbly days but they seem better today. Must now get off MN and on with stuff. smile

Hi Sooz good to "see" you again. I ma pleased to hear about DS1. Good results for DS too last week. Very proud of him!

Welcome back Juggling smile

MHD Prayers for your DD starting new school tomorrow. Is she moving up with friends?
Thank you for asking, things are good here. We seem to be settling well and a miracle is happening with the language learning and I am thoroughly enjoying it and a lot of it seems to "stick". I even had my first dream in the language the other night! shock
Still our concern and prayers are for DD1 to get a job. She is getting down and feeling as if she will never get a job again, even though she will do anything. Please bring her before God with me. I am hating being so far away from her when she feels as if she needs me so much.

Kaykat Mon 03-Sep-12 17:41:09

Hi all
SES thanks for your poem I'm going to write it down and keep it, it seems so apt for my current situation.

Please pray for DS starting a new school on Wednesday, he has not enjoyed school much in the past and I really want him to be happy from now on.

I feel Gods hand in my life very much, even though I am finding out terrible things almost daily about H and his affair, it is helping me to see things clearly and to know the right path to take.

Madcaplady Mon 03-Sep-12 19:31:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JugglingWithFiveRings Mon 03-Sep-12 21:16:56

Ooh, hope your DD has a great first day at school tomorrow Madcap smile

Tuo Tue 04-Sep-12 01:19:21

Thanks MHD. Part of the problem is that I don't really know what I can do. In a way I've shot myself in the foot by attending the cathedral, because it doesn't have an obvious community attached to it in the way that a local church would. Which is not strictly true, as the people are lovely, so there is a community of sorts, but it's a very 'spread-out' one IYSWIM. I've got a few opportunities to talk to people coming up though (a very exciting event that I'm organising - through work, not the church - at our local theological college, and I'm also gatecrashing a 'tea and cakes' party for the servers which DD2 has been invited to!) so I'm hoping that something may just come up naturally. (Oops, sorry for the long splurge there! Get to the point, woman... wink)

Praying for all tonight...
... for Oma and Bob - for health for both of you, for Bob to feel happier (or perhaps just more accepting of the situation) in himself, and for you to be given the support you need by those able to provide it. You have all the moral support in the world on here, as you know!
... for all those starting school, moving to a new class or a new school, or starting college this week. In particular MHD's DD, Soozi's DS (and congratulations to him too), Madcap's DD, and Kaykat's DS.
... that PA's DD finds a job soon, and for the worry about her to be lifted from PA's shoulders.
... for Soozi's health, that the drugs work and the tests find something short-lived and easily treatable; also that MHD stays well.
... for Kaykat and Jan for a way through their current relationship issues.
... for Juggling, whom we're pleased to see back, for fulfilling work to come her way soon.
... and for all the prayers, expressed on this thread or unexpressed but known to God anyway, of those who pass this way.

MaryBS Tue 04-Sep-12 07:49:53

<I'm back...>

Tuo Tue 04-Sep-12 09:32:12

Welcome back, Mary! grin

Forgot to mention little Amber last night, so just a quick prayer that she feels better soon too.

madhairday Tue 04-Sep-12 12:36:16

<waves to Mary>

How are you?

Praying for all those children starting back today....DD has gone off looking so smart and grown up and very excited. smile

JugglingWithFiveRings Tue 04-Sep-12 13:06:49

Looks like work is settled for the new term now - training day tomorrow, and start on Monday, mornings at a new playgroup/ pre-school. Planning to drive past and have a look sometime this afternoon ....

(Talk about leaving things to the last minute organisation wise ! hmm -( very restrained raised eyebrow !) Thanks all for your thoughts and prayers though ....
I think mornings should work out very well thanks)

DutchOma Tue 04-Sep-12 13:12:26

Juggling I have found that God's provision is very often in the nick of time.

JugglingWithFiveRings Tue 04-Sep-12 16:54:00

Yeh, I think I always had - or was trying to have - some sort of faith that God and the universe might provide a few children and families for me to work with this year.

His messengers on Earth could perhaps sometimes be a bit more efficient in communicating the details ... but since when was that news ?!! grin

Went to look at the pre-school on the way to the park with the children this afternoon, and it looks good as far as I could tell - nice big modern building and a big notice up saying it's been given an "Outstanding" by Ofsted - so looks promising smile

Had a pleasant sunny afternoon in the park for our last day of the summer hols.
All back to school tomorrow !

(Even just had a surprisingly friendly phone call from DH - someone must be praying !
- though to be fair he can be good on the phone, just terrible in the car
- what's going on there ? confused )

ZipadiSoozi Tue 04-Sep-12 17:09:26

Welcome back Mary!

Thank you God, my little Amber getting better, hopefully be able to start back to school tomorrow, Callum had first day at college, he seems ok, a bit subdued and vulnerable but I'm sure he will soon get in the swing of things.

I have had 3 sleeps today, think the tablets and back to work make me very tired, bit stressed atm but will be fine when get back to routine [hm

HaveALittleFaith Tue 04-Sep-12 17:21:48

I find September a fascinating month, full of new starts! Prayers for all small people starting/returning to school. I'm pleased to hear Amber is on the mend Soozi - I'm Faith by the way - not sure we've met before?

DO how is home life now?

Welcome back Mary!

Sorry for minimal name checks I'm on my phone. Not a lot going on with me, just continually shattered! DH has been much better round the house since I got pregnant (and easier to live with!). He had a job interview yesterday - after almost bottling it! - for a job he'd really like. He's very unhappy where he is so prayer that God's will be done about if he's successful would be great. My role is about to change after two years I have to go back to my old job but I'd love a permanent promotion sp prayers that God opens a door would be brilliant smile

DutchOma Tue 04-Sep-12 20:00:31

Home life is settling down Faith. I went to 'the shop' (our church's charity shop) to do a little job, leaving Bob on his own for a couple of hours. Then slept this afternoon, I am still really tired.
He finds life a big challenge, nothing is easy, but everything is better than being 'in care'.
The district nurse asked him yesterday how he found life at the nursing home and he said he had been very panicky and that he was surprised they didn't know how to put socks on inside out.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Tue 04-Sep-12 21:35:45

<falls in the door>

I am back too. <waves to mary, juggling and sooz>

ds starts school tomorrow (eek) I have yet to find all the stuff he needs and got to buy him some shoes in the morning nothing like last minute I have lost dd's pe shirt and hope her shoes are in the car somewhere as I have lost those too (I hope they are not at my mums) I have to excavate under the stairs to find dd's old plimsolls for ds.

I have to ring forr a speech therapy appointment for ds. (please God that I remember and h does notmove the letter like last time so we missed an appointment. )

DutchOma Tue 04-Sep-12 22:19:00

Welcome back Susan, black red, white or rainbow coloured. I hope you get your things sorted

Tuo Wed 05-Sep-12 01:15:40

"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire." (Thomas Merton)

... Feeling a bit like that ^ tonight!

Prayers for all...

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Wed 05-Sep-12 07:59:21

first day at school for ds and first day back for dd. trying to get 3 of them moving is a nightmare...

MaryBS Wed 05-Sep-12 08:05:35

<waves back>

Brilliant prayer TUO (even if it was TM that said it, it was you that posted it here!). I really needed that reminder, and prayed it myself here...

Please pray for K, who now has bowel cancer, after beating breast cancer. Drs think they have caught it, but its a bit more than she needs at the moment.

ZipadiSoozi Wed 05-Sep-12 12:15:39

Hi Faith, to fill you in I have ds1 16yo, dtwns b/g 8yo how about you? (you you, you can come to to to we're going to the zoo zoo zoo) sorry now you know I'm actually nuts! and... I {{{{{BOING}}}}} hence zipadiSoozi

ok...

twins back at school this morning, been to dc's more ad's for my numb head hmm and been to work! stop this world spinning too fast!!!!!!! Callum has decided he will give college a go, but he doesn't like all the bus's he has to catch bit too much organisational skills for his sn, prayers he settles soon.

Helloooooo Mary xx hope you have had a settled hmm summer, and yes prayers indeed for 'k'

hi bes - you sound like you are up to your eyes in it, prayers for peace at least while dc are at school, clear your mind find a quiet place and breathe, cuppa hotchoc or choc icecream TIMEOUT!!! grin

MaryBS Wed 05-Sep-12 12:22:15

<Waves at Sooz> Don't think it was a settled summer, it fact it nearly killed me! Not sure I could cope with another summer like that!

Now preparing for Sunday, I'm taking a family service and preaching.

HaveALittleFaith Wed 05-Sep-12 12:41:53

Sooz you remind me of my friend! grin I'm 31, 6+5 with DC1 after 2 1/2 years TTC. Feeling shattered and swinging between sickness and hunger! Have a DH - things have been a little tense in recent times - he's had treatment for a hormonal imbalance and has a lot more testosterone pumping than he used to. Starting Relate sessions on Mondah after initial appointment was helpful so hoping to improve things before bump arrives!

DutchOma Wed 05-Sep-12 14:03:08

Bob just phoned the police as 'he needed help and couldn't get hold of me'. I was downstairs doing the washing up. Police phoned me and asked if he was maybe a 'little confused'. I think it was his epilepsy playing up. He has rung an ambulance before when he was having a funny turn and I found the police in the house as he had said he was on his own and couldn't open the door. Oh help!

Oh no DO sad Unplug the phone from by his bed when you're home?

MaryBS Wed 05-Sep-12 14:30:55

Eek DO, at least the police were understanding! Tough for you though, and painful. sad

DutchOma Wed 05-Sep-12 16:35:39

His mobile is his life line. Take that away and he will feel totally isolated.

HaveALittleFaith Wed 05-Sep-12 17:49:02

DO do you think there's something wrong with him? Could he have a delirium if his behaviour is, shall I suggest, slightly more extreme than normal? Can be caused by infection, drugs, constipation? Just thinking the change of scene and climing home could have triggered it off? Is it worth getting him checked over by the doctor?

SESthebrave Wed 05-Sep-12 18:09:20

Oh DO (((hugs))) I have to say my first thought is how depressed Bob is but Faith could be on to something too. What did he say to you / the police?
Praying for him to feel some peace and for you in coping with the situations thrown at you.

Welocme back to BES, Mary, Sooz and Juggling

Prayers for all those returning to school and college. Scary to think that my DS will be starting in reception this time next year! Prayers for the right school for him please as we seem to live on the edge of the catchment area for all the schools so no obvious choice. I'd love him to go to our church school but it is usually over subscribed and we live too far away I think.

madhairday Wed 05-Sep-12 18:40:34

Oh DO prayers and hugs to you. sad

Just flying by, trying to sort a powerpoint for a service on friday and I'm behind on it all. dd having a great time at school and the SEN dept seem wonderful smile

SESthebrave Wed 05-Sep-12 18:50:55

Oh MHD - that's great re SEN dept and DD. Prayers for your powerpoint to go together easily.

amberlight Wed 05-Sep-12 19:35:45

Prayers aplenty. Worth getting a doc to check dh for urine infection, DO. It can have that kind of confusing effect.

DutchOma Wed 05-Sep-12 19:46:46

We are keeping a very close eye on the urine he passes as he is on Furosemide and that can cause dehydration. He has four cups of tea a day, plus a litre of 'gloop', thickened water with squash to make it more palatable.
I think it is probably his epilepsy, that was the case last time when he phoned an ambulance, then phoned me and said:"I've fallen down the stairs, phoned an ambulance and they are coming to take me away." The penny dropped when the ambulance man asked whether he tripped or whether his legs gave way and he could not remember. The ambulance man then quite agreed with me that it was possibly the epilepsy. I might give the epilepsy specialist at the hospital a ring tomorrow, since I have no idea how to stop it.
If you could stop someone making 999 calls, you coul take all other emergency numbers out, but I don't know if that is possible.

SES our church School takes any child from the whole town into consideration in their criteria, but the pecking order is based on whether you go to their church 1st and then other local churches. I would speak to the School and find out. You never know smile

Yay! I'm ever so pleased, work has offered me enhanced maternity pay, so I can financially manage to take 13 weeks off instead of 8 otherwise smile thank you God for them being so generous specially as church is running a deficit budget

Tuo Wed 05-Sep-12 23:12:02

Incredibly tired tonight. Dragging myself off to bed now... But just popped by to add prayers for Oma and Bob. I have nothing constructive to suggest (though, yes, do ring the epilepsy specialist, as that does seem to be a possibility...) but you are very much in my prayers.

Prayers of thanks for Blue's enhanced maternity pay and for MHD's DD's good first day at school. Praying that it will be the start of a new and much happier chapter for her.

And, of course, prayers for all of you...

MaryBS Thu 06-Sep-12 08:29:25

Prayers would be welcome please. I've got the potential of a job, which would be self-employed, but I am panicking over the logistics of it all. As I've been pretty low lately, that isn't a good place to be. I'm now worried about being pushed over the edge. But on the other hand I've been worrying about money, and it would solve that worry.

SESthebrave Thu 06-Sep-12 09:38:39

Praying Mary for clarity for you and for things to become more positive for you.

MomeRaths - that's the same policy as with our church school. Issue is that siblings get first preference (which I understand) and last year that left less than 10 other places and we live on the edge of the catchment area. Just have to hope there's not many siblings this year!

Prayers for all...

madhairday Thu 06-Sep-12 10:05:42

That's great news Blue! smile

Praying Mary, for wisdom about this job possibility and a sense of peace if it is the right way to go.

Just on way out, praying for you all.

so mhd I will have 15 weeks of time to meet up wink

madhairday Thu 06-Sep-12 14:53:40

Yay Blue! smile

HaveALittleFaith Thu 06-Sep-12 21:07:00

Great news Blue! Praise the Lord for that one!

DO how is Bob today?

Mary that sounds interesting. I guess if it His will, HE will make a way to lull all the logistics together smile

I'd appreciate prayers the next three nights - DH has gone away and left me alone! I don't do too well sleeping here alone, especially since the fire. Just peace and good sleep would be great!

Yes siblings get in first at ours too. But God is bigger than that wink

I'm also a bit stressed about a possible job offer. I'm typing on my phone, so I'll keep it short. It does seem like a God thing but logistics are making me panic too. In my case childcare, hours and pay. It all has to work so that the withdrawal of IS doesn't leave me struggling as ExH only gives me £20pw sad But I do think it is a God thing. Going into the job centre tomorrow to chat to my adviser about it. This is so garbled but can you pray for peace and for it all to come together if him?

LM is abroad in ExW's Country. The horrid court case may get to court whilst there. Pray for all the things I've asked before and that he gets to see his kids whilst there, it's been a year sad Awful situation sad God is a God of justice and I am praying a fair agreement is found for all sad

Praying for sleep Faith. I put on worship music to sleep when worried.

Praying for your situation too Mary and others.

SESthebrave Thu 06-Sep-12 21:45:44

Faith - prayers for you whilst DH is away. I second the suggestion of music to go to sleep. Always works well for me.

MomeRaths - prayers for LM at this time and that God will see the right thing for him and his children come through. Prayers re your potential job too and the visit to the Job Centre tomorrow.

DO - yes, praying for you and Bob. How are things?

Just watching David Weir and Jonnie Peacock on the Paralympics. How amazingly inspirational!

Tuo Fri 07-Sep-12 01:32:23

Goodnight all!

Praying for peace and rest tonight for Oma and Bob and for Faith.

Praying for God to make clear to Mary and Momey (may I call you Momey? smile) the right thing to do in their work lives, and that, whatever they decide, they will find joy and satisfaction in what they do, and feel supported in doing it.

Praying that LM gets to see his children and that his situation with his ex begins to resolve itself.

Praying also for the poster on another thread, who has asked for prayers for her Aunt, who's undergoing treatment for cancer, and for Mary's K. And remembering tonight the family who were the victims of that dreadful shooting in France, and especially the two little girls who have survived.

HaveALittleFaith Fri 07-Sep-12 06:39:59

Thank you, it took me a while (but not too long) to drop off.

gingercurl Fri 07-Sep-12 09:34:59

Morning all, have been lurking and praying for everyone.

Work on thesis seems to be moving forward - thank you for your prayers. Still a Everest-sized mountain's worth of work to do, but am chipping away (even if it does seem with a teaspoon.) Thank you especially to TUO for your encouragement. I hope you managed to finish writning your article?
The last couple of days I have realised how much fear is dictating my actions, or rather lack thereof. I'm terrified of failing this and it paralises me to the point that I don't think I can do anything or think anything, but the fear of not completing, not getting a job afterwards, of being a FAILURE, paralises me as well, so I seem to get stuck in rabbit-in-headlights-land. Am now trying to tackle it from the angle "feel the fear and do it anyway". confused easier said than done.

DutchOma Fri 07-Sep-12 10:34:35

Thank you all for your prayers.
Praying for job situations and the release of all fear, for whatever reason. I heard once that "do not be afraid" is the sentence that happens most in the Bible, God knows our fears and is able to calm them. Think Jesus in the boat in the storm, it always tickles me to read that 'he slept with his head on a cushion' smile. How dare He be comfortable when they were drowning!

I first rang our epilepsy specialist yesterday, who thought this was mor an issue for the Macmillan team/GP/District nurses. So I rang the MM nurse, who will set up some more blood tests and take it from there. I also phoned the opticians to see if anything could be done about Bob's eyesight, so that he could read or watch television, which at the moment he finds very hard to do. His glasses are made up to exactly the right specification, so again, this is problably something that comes under the heading of his general health.
Meanwhile he has been coping better, let me have a lie-in this morning as I went to bed feeling poorly last night. Couldn't go to choir as I had no voice. Will have w wonderfully quiet day today, the weather is gorgeous.

JugglingWithFiveRings Fri 07-Sep-12 13:22:36

Hope you're enjoying the sunshine DO - that sounds a good plan, making the most of the late summer

Thanks for your prayers for all too - they sound just what's needed with everyone starting a new year in many ways ...

Hello Momey wink is off camping on a new initiative with church this weekend for low income families/ lone parents to have a holiday and help. So I shall lurk from my mobile whilst away.

Saw my adviser at job centre again this morning and it sounds like I will have support and enough funding for childcare whether the hours are 20, 25 or 30 a week and that I'll be fine with extra tax credits. There will be a few extra costs as I think I only get help with 75% of childcare and DD will no longer get FSM but overall I'll be ok. So I shall try and enjoy this weekend and stop worrying wink

lostmywellies Fri 07-Sep-12 13:55:51

Hello all! <waves from Wales>

It's hard to get on here much and keep up with everyone's lives - H is controlling most of my time: keeping an eye on me and if he thinks I'm not doing something I should be, he asks me to do a small job to help him out...

But I am thinking of you all!

Have a good break, mome, and enjoy the sunshine, DO.

amberlight Fri 07-Sep-12 14:35:38

DO, wonder if it's worth trying one of those reading sheets you can get? Did wonders for DH when he had his cataracts and could barely see to read.
www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=magnifying+sheet etc?

Prayers all round

cloutiedumpling Fri 07-Sep-12 19:28:30

Lurking and praying. I love that reference to the cushion too, DO. The biggest problem I have with worrying is that my head knows I shouldn't worry, but somehow my heart doesn't believe it.

DutchOma Fri 07-Sep-12 19:58:30

Which one did you get for dh Amber? Trouble is that we don't know whether it is his eyesight or his brain that is the trouble. Optician is coming on Monday to test his eyes and adjust his specs. I am rather pleased that I have managed to get them to come. Praise the Lord.

DutchOma Fri 07-Sep-12 20:01:58

Cloutie I do just know how you feel, worry takes over rational thought.
When all is said and done, God knows how we are feeling and understands our worries. But even He can't do any more than be there for us and assure us that He will always take care of us.
And Jesus does say:"In this life you will have trouble", that is the realitiy of it.

Madcaplady Fri 07-Sep-12 21:27:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoRaw Fri 07-Sep-12 21:33:20

Please join me in giving thanks and praise to the Lord for looking over my 9 month old son as he started nursery for the first time this week. He has been doing well. Also thanks and praise to the Lord as I returned to work today after 10 months on maternity leave. The day went well.

Kaykat, thinking of you and hoping you are doing better.

DutchOma Fri 07-Sep-12 21:59:54

Welcome MoRaw. Are you a namechanger?
Joining you in giving thanks for all good things.

JugglingWithBocciaBalls Fri 07-Sep-12 22:06:05

So pleased to hear things have gone smoothly MoRaw
Glad your DS is settling in well.
I've worked in nurseries and found 6-9 months or so was a good age for the little ones to start, as more settled than at 3-4 months, but less problems with separating from Mum than at 12 months plus. Hope that helps !

I like your phrase "thanks and praise to the Lord" - that reminds me of a song
IYKWIM ? Is it a Bob Marley one ?!

Please pray for me too, I'm starting at a new pre-school on Monday, and feeling nervous about the new school year for us all - the holidays were nice !
Still there's a parents prayer meeting at DD's school which I'll be able to go to after my morning shift at the pre-school on Monday. I'm trying to focus on going to that and hopefully feeling thankful there for my first morning back this year (as long as it goes reasonably !)

JugglingWithBocciaBalls Fri 07-Sep-12 22:13:26

Oh, and talking of namechangers I've just swapped my five Olympic rings for some boccia balls, as I've been loving the paralympics so much - and the boccia in particular is both new to me and inspiring - only saw a little coverage of that, but have been captivated by so much ... particularly like Alan Hills "last leg" and the lovely Iwan Thomas with Claire Balding and the team. Anyone else feeling inspired ?

HaveALittleFaith Fri 07-Sep-12 22:23:37

Boccia reminds me of our foreign holiday last year juggling. They kept announcing over the tannoy to play sexy boccia. We had no idea what it was! smile Will be praying for a smooth transition into the new pre-school.

Sounds like a good start Mo.

Kaykat Fri 07-Sep-12 23:22:52

Hi MoRaw. Mary and Mome praying that the job opportunities will work out and be fulfilling. DO for your difficult situation and you always sound so strong in it. Tuo your words are always a blessing. Juggling wonderful to hear your DDs school has a prayer meeting I've never had that at any of DSs schools. Lost hope you are ok your words were a little worrying but maybe I read it wrong.
Hope you're ok Jan if you are reading this. Sorry to all I've missed I'm just beginning to get to know everyone.

I'm pleased to report hat DS came out of school extremely happy every day so far. It's all I wanted for him after two bad schools. This school has a wonderful atmosphere of respect, the students are a lot more mature in attitude and friendly. He hasnt seen anything spiteful at all so far. Praise the Lord. It is quite a bit further away but so worth it.

Well it's the weekend again and I don't like those because H comes here. Already been in tears this evening. He came out with the same line he has been saying since he met OW 'this is not about you'. H saw a friend this week who is a Christian but rather a trouble maker who thinks its a massive joke to upset me and it's made H even crueller than usual.

Had some wonderful support during the week from family, friends and a neighbour who invited me for a BBQ. Weekdays are happy. Weekends are miserable.

madhairday Sat 08-Sep-12 11:18:38

Kaykat that's good news about ds but so sorry things are so difficult at the weekend and that the 'friend' makes such trouble. Horrible sad Glad you've had support from others.

Lost, I am rather worried about your post, please feel free to pm if you want to talk more off board, or come on here and share if you can. I am praying for you.

Juggling I love the idea of a parents prayer meeting. Would love to start one here but don't know anyone who would want to join in something like this yet. Praying your new job goes well and you settle in quickly.

Madcap - so pleased your visit with dp was good and that things are going well, giving thanks!

Have fun camping, Momey! smile Praying things come together re money, hours, etc and things become easier for you, and praying for LM that he can see his kids and justice will be done.

DO, continuing to pray for Bob, especially at the moment for eye problems and for a general peace and calm for him. Hope you have a lovely restful day in the sunshine.

Ginger, praying for you for fear to be taken away. I've been pondering lately on praying positively into things, so instead of praying against the negative, praying the positive opposite word, iyswim. So praying for confidence for you today - for your thesis, for the future, for all you are facing - praying that confidence will flood you and fill you and take you forward. And remembering the verse in psalms somewhere which says 'my confidence is in the Lord, the source of my salvation' - so praying for double confidence - in what you are doing and in God. smile

Prayers for Amber, Mary, Ses, Mo, Jan, Blue, Faith, Cloutie and everyone else - praying for God to surround you all with his blessing this weekend.

We had a great celebration last night for a year here, held a service to which we invited everyone we'd encountered here and who were praying for the church plant etc, and looked back over the year, looked forward, worshipped and prayed together. We did a cafe style service with communion passed round each table, was lovely, and a great turnout so felt very blessed and excited for what God is doing. smile Also thanks to God for a great first week at secondary for dd, she's made friends and is loving the different subjects, she seems so happy.

MoRaw Sat 08-Sep-12 13:59:36

Hi

No, I am not a name changer. I am new here. Only realised there was a Christian thread on Mumsnet yesterday. ALWAYS VERY HAPPY to meet other Christians as I find we are becoming more and more a rare specie smile.

It is always a blessing to pray for others and for others to pray for you. I know that I have been blessed by the prayers of others especially when I am down in the valley without the strength to pray for myself.

Kaykat, hang in there. All this is for a season. Let H and this friend laugh now. You may suffer now but joy comes in the morning. You are in your valley now. The mountain top is round the corner. Believe that! Wickedness can never triumph over good. God is merciful and he is there for those who hurt and who cry out because of injustice. He is not blind neither are his ears hard of hearing.

About 5 years ago, my then fiance summarily dumped me and started seeing someone else. To make a long story short, I was devastated. I cried day and night and could not see any joy in the future. I was so broken hearted it was unreal. However, 3 years ago God has blessed me beyond my imagination. I am now married to a wonderful Christian man who treats me far, far better than my ex did. We are on the same page and want the same things for the future. We now have a lovely 9 month old baby. Looking back, I thank God because he saw that relationship was no good for me. I now wonder what I was thinking back then. I laugh now at all the tears and hopelessness I felt and thank God every day for my escape. If I had stayed with my ex, I know my life would have been miserable. He thought it was his right to cheat left, right and centre. God saved me years of future anguish. My ex is now regretting. His behaviour was meant to harm me but God turned it around and made it my great escape.

You will get over it. His loss. Do not let them drag you down. The more they see you doing well, the more they will try to hurt you. Pay them no mind. Keep on being happy and get excited over what the Lord has for you in the future because he will bring wonderful joy your way soon enough. I used to tell myself (with excitement) "gosh, I can't wait to see what God has in store for me". He did not disappoint.

DutchOma Sat 08-Sep-12 14:08:15

So happy to see you on this thread MoRaw. Always very happy to see new people.
And what a triumphant story you have to tell. Bless you and your little family.

I was thinking it was nearly a year that you moved to the new 'parish' MHD and wondering how it was going.
DS is coming later this afternoon to take Bob for a walk in the park in the wheelchair, I think we shall all go and eat an icecream. The weather is so lovely here.

Kaykat Sat 08-Sep-12 17:25:32

MoRaw, wow your words really touched my heart.

JugglingWithBocciaBalls Sat 08-Sep-12 17:37:32

Yes, glorious sunshine for September isn't it DO ?
Hope you got to the park and enjoyed your ice-creams ?
I had a nice strawberry split today at a fete the DC's and I came across - they were doing free little pack lunches there too for the DC's which was very community minded of them I thought, and a nice Jazz band playing as well smile

Last week I had another nice blessing when I bumped into a Christian friend in our local park. It was the day before all the schools went back and I knew DD had yet to find her school skirt (despite looking everywhere for it) and school shop not open. So, friend said " Hi, are you all ready for going back to school ?" So, I said we would be if DD knew what she'd done with her school skirt ! Friend says her DD has just grown out of a couple of skirts and we'd be welcome to them, so DD and I said yes please and went to collect them that evening !

Whether it's the kindness, thoughtfulness, and generosity of friends, or a little bit of God's blessing it's very welcome !

Glad to hear your DD is settling well at secondary school mhd smile

Love and prayers for all x

DutchOma Sat 08-Sep-12 19:59:26

We did and the weather was glorious and we had our icecreams. Rose is such a sweetheart and they brought the pictures they had done on her first birthday for us to keep.

HaveALittleFaith Sat 08-Sep-12 23:19:48

Welcome MoRaw! What a lovely addition you make to our group already smile

kaykat I'm really pleased to hear the prayers for a positive start to the school year for DS were answered! Hang in there re your H.

DO glad you had fun!

Speaking of fun, I've had a fab evening. My Dad realised I was on my own tonight - plans included junk food and watching rubbish tv! - and invited me to a free screening of Last night of the proms with some of his pals. It was great! Live performances from a couple of young local musicians first (who were wonderful). His friends are hilarious (I was the youngest by at least 30 years!) and I honestly can't remember the last time I enjoyed myself that much! Is that sad? I think I've been so overwhelmed with the infertility, the fire, my health problems I'd almost forgotten. Now I'm pregnant the pain isn't as bad (thank you God) and I feel like I'm living again rather than just surviving. A turning point I think. On that happy note I'm collapsing into bed smile

jan2011 Sun 09-Sep-12 08:13:08

hard to catch up on all the posts but glad to hear of good times smile thinking of you all. hope you are settling back ok DO and things with dh are going ok im glad the baby is such a blessing and brings so much joy..
little that sounds a great time last night, nothing like a good laugh all night.

its been a hard week dd hasn't been well - she is over the worst now but im not feeling great, im ok like just feel a bit run down and have cold so im ok really but i just wish i could wake up and feel like doing life, and feel like ENERGY one of these days ifswim? dd hasn't been going down to sleep - it takes an hour of pu pd in her cot before she goes to sleep and this is the biggest challenge at the minute. things aren't going great with dh....if i ask him to do anything there seems to be a problem... im losing hope all time of wanting to ever get back (i was holding on to the fact that he would change)

i am going to give church a miss this morning and i feel guilty about it. its dhs day to have dd and i just want a quiet day ... i missed last week as she wasn't well too. i feel a bit of a failure at the minute. i might walk down to a different church near me if dh lets me tonight(if he puts her to bed). i don't know what people think of me at the minute. i guess its what God thinks that matters!

sorry for rabbiting on and for moaning... some days are really great and then others i just feel a bit down. if i stay in this morning i plan on having a nice quiet time with God. lots of love to everyone i hope you all are having a lovely weekend

SESthebrave Sun 09-Sep-12 08:42:21

Morning! Quick check in on my phone whilst feeding DD.

Jan, you are right. It doesn't matter what others think. You are loving God and loved by God and being faithful despite tough times.

MoRaw - welcome! Thank you for sharing. Your little family sound a delight.

DO - prayers for you and Bob, for peace and continued support and a lift in Bob's spirit.

Prayers of thanks for all who have got off to a good start in the new school year.

All good here although DD seems to be teething so isn't as settled at the moment and is waking 3 times a night. We'll have to see of she's prompt with her first teeth like DS was, as he got his first at about 16wks old.
Continued prayers would be appreciated please for the situation in our parish with just the one priest, for the two that have moved on and for the Bishop to find the right solution.

MaryBS Sun 09-Sep-12 08:44:43

Don't feel guilty Jan, you can still pray to God and worship him at home. Sounds like you need that quiet time with Him, rather than with others.

Havealittlefaith, one of the Fruits of the Spirit is Joy, and it sounds like thats what you had smile

Prayers please for me. A lot going on in my life, including a cold and other health problems, but I need to put it all aside for an hour and bring it to God... as I lead the family service at my church for the first time doing it all. Not entirely comfortable with it and how it will work out, but realising that I shouldn't rely on my own strength, but God's...

Kaykat Sun 09-Sep-12 08:53:54

Jan, you are coping admirably with a difficult situation that was forced upon you, you are not a failure, quite the opposite. I can tell just by reading your words that you are a gentle soul so people in rl will see that even clearer and I doubt they will blame you. God knows your heart. I will pray for DDs sleeping problems and that you both get well very soon. Don't feel guilty about church you can't help being ill.

Also praying for your little one and his sleeping problems, SES.

Kaykat Sun 09-Sep-12 08:56:00

Mary you are going to be brilliant, I wish I could be there.

HaveALittleFaith Sun 09-Sep-12 09:12:21

Jan it's ok not to go to church if you're ill! Rest up the morning. Spend some time with God, see he this evening pans out.

Mary praying that you fully rely on God and are inspired smile

amberlight Sun 09-Sep-12 09:44:13

Prayers for everyone

Bit eek here in the lead up to my one year cancer check on Thursday. Would really appreciate a bit of prayer that day...

Tuo Sun 09-Sep-12 12:20:20

Wow! Some really positive posts since I last posted...

Thanks and praise, then, for a good first few days at school for MHD's DD, for a good day yesterday for Oma and Bob, for Faith's great evening, for the anniversary of MHD and family's move and for ongoing and future good work there, for a good day yesterday for Juggling and family, and for MoRaw (welcome, and thanks for sharing your story).

Praying that Mary's family service will have gone well today. How could it not, with you in charge, Mary? As Kaykat said, I wish we could all have been there, but you know we're with you in spirit.

Praying for Jan to feel better soon and to get some rest (the two are connected, obviously) and for your H not to make things worse for you. Enjoy your quiet day today, and, as others have said, don't worry about what others think of you. We sang 'There's a wideness in God's mercy like the wideness of the sea' today, and I do love the bit that says 'But make His love too narrow by false limits of our own, and we magnify His strictness with a zeal He will not own'. Try to think of that if you feel that people are judging... though I pray that you will receive more sympathy and understanding than judgement.

And prayers assured for you this week, Amber, as you prepare for your check-up. Praying that you will continue to be clear of cancer and of any worrying side-effects.

Also feeling happy today. Had a possible partial answer to my 'how to get more involved' question (slightly worrying, as it seems that the thing they want me to do is something I am not really qualified to help with, but am awaiting an explanatory email before I panic too much) and a sermon that picked up on several issues that have been in my thoughts this week. So feeling thankful for that and for friendship extended and guidance received in the last few days.

HaveALittleFaith Sun 09-Sep-12 13:21:37

Definitely will be praying amber, for peace in th run up as well as good news at the appointment.

That sounds good Tuo but I pray for clarity!

I would appreciate prayer not to be bitter or angry. We were cell leaders last
Academic year but with a late start, then the fire, then my being so ill, it never got off the ground. We have really struggled with the fact it was unsuccessful and chose to step down this year. The woman who ran it all last year got up at the front of church today and thanked all the cell leaders from last year by name - except us! I understand we didn't do a great job but we did try our best and I'm a little hurt by that sad so prayer that I can let it go would be great!
On the other hand, I told a couple who are church leaders today that I'm pregnant. They prayed with us in November 2010 for a baby and have continued to pray and lift us up to God. They were delighted for us and delighted to see that prayer answered smile so I'm focusing on that positive father than the negative.

jan2011 Sun 09-Sep-12 15:21:41

Amber, thinking and praying for u for Thursday...sending hugs.

thank you for encouragement and thoughts and prayers. Tuo yes i feel Gods mercy is where i am at right now and is all i have left. unfortunately we didn't get on at all during dh's time when he picked dd up and it has left me feeling worse than i already felt... hopefully tomorrow will mark the start of a better week!

Havealittlefaith im glad you are getting prayer support for the baby - it really is so positive. i got prayer right through my pregnancy and honestly i believe it worked wonders....my pregnancy went great, baby healthy all in spite of bad health and the odds were stacked against me. dd is a very happy child in spite of all thats going on, and i am a firm believer of even prayer and laying your hands on the womb while pregnant and asking God to come and touch the baby. it really helps you connect too with the baby. im sorry that your efforts went unnoticed by the church - thats understandable that you would be hurt. remember God sees all the effort your made and the intentions you had and won't waste any of it - and in any case, a reward from him will be better than any reward any person can give.

madhairday Sun 09-Sep-12 16:02:14

Oh Faith, that is rough, not being mentioned? Maybe an oversight? Not a good one sad As Jan says though, God knows and loves your efforts for him and delights in you. So glad you have prayer support.

Jan - praying for you in all the turmoil, hope you have a better week.

Amber will be praying for you for the check up, understandably you feel nervous

How did it go, Mary? Bet it was great smile

DO hows it going today?

TUO I love the words of that song, not heard of it, sounds good, I come across too many 'meh' songs nowadays, good to hear ones with some oomph and thought in them... smile

Sermon really good this morning, picked up a lot of thoughts I'd been having lately about what I can be doing more practically to reflect my following Jesus - we live in a fairly rich community and it's hard to find the 'poor and downtrodden' we're looking into what we can do as a church - food banks, womens refuge etc. The church we're attending atm has just started a money advice centre which is great and very much needed. I am reflecting on starting up a breathe easy group in my area (a group for people with lung diseases) as there isn't one at present - I want to bless my community, or at least want God to anyway!! Another idea is a more general group for disabled people and their carers to meet together. We want to reach out to lonely and sick people, as Jesus said to....any ideas welcome!!!

HaveALittleFaith Sun 09-Sep-12 16:09:22

I'd like to think it was am oversight....but I was in her eyeline?! Ah well, if it was deliberate, then it's more of a reflection on her!

Those volunteer ideas both sounds good. I used to volunteer with a charity group for hound disabled adults - we did respite one afternoon a week aftr school. We gave them tea and then did social stuff, the budget stretched to reflexology for them too. Amazing for those in wheelchairs who had poor circulation. One girl (with limited speech) used to see the reflexologist and say 'Cold feet, chum!' and 'Warm feet, chum!' when they were finished smile Massively rewarding. But the lung thing sounds good too. I'll pray for inspiration!

madhairday Sun 09-Sep-12 16:19:30

Oh that sounds really good Faith, it sounds like the sort of thing I'm thinking of. The breathe easy thing is on my mind as I have lung disease myself so it's something natural in a way. I'll be praying about it.

Have started a new chat thread for a new term, anyone fell free to join, more the merrier smile

Hello!

Lovely weekend camping. The weather in the day was lush but when the sun went down it was chilly smile It's a great initiative by the church to help people on low incomes or lone parents to get away.

Can I ask for prayer about a Mum at School? After a series of events over time, I am starting to think she doesn't like me at all. It's quite unsettling. If I thought it would help, I would ask her if I'd offended her and apologise but I think she'd deny it and get defensive. But I'm starting to worry and over think it and to feel a bit hurt. Both our children are in the same classes, year 1 and Nursery, so I want to get along sad

SESthebrave Sun 09-Sep-12 20:57:14

Momey - prayers of praise for a great weekend. Sounds like a brilliant idea. Prayers for the relationship with the other mum at school, for things to improve.

MHD - thanks for the link to the new chat thread. I've not been on it for some months as I always feel I would repeat myself here and there but I'll try and get a minute to pop over and say hello.

Faith - prayers for God to help move your head on from the glaring omission of thanks. Always hard but know that God in Heaven knows your heart, intentions and actions.

Mary - hope it all went well today.

Amber - praying for Thursday

Jan - prayers for a good start to the week

TUO - prayers that that partial answer to prayer will come to a full answer

Prayers for all others in need as well. Remebering KayKat, BES, PA, Lost, DO, Juggling, Ginger, FoD and any other lurkers.

DutchOma Sun 09-Sep-12 21:39:02

Faith think of it this way: if she had done it on purpose, to hurt you, she would have been totally in the wrong; she would have "trespassed against you". So what do you do to those who trespass against you? If you want to be right with God, live the Kingdom life, you forgive them. I find that awfully hard to do: to see that someone has wronged you and still forgive. Yet that is what Jesus prayed to the Father: forgive them. The Jews were not a bit sorry that they did put Him through that horrific death and YET, He prayed, Father forgive them.
I really think this is one of the hardest things of the Christian life and yet one we can practise almost every week smile

HaveALittleFaith Sun 09-Sep-12 22:17:15

DO you're absolutely right. We have just done our evening prayers and I have said sorry for getting annoyed and asked to find it in my heart to forgive and let go of it.

Mome praying for resolution with that Mum.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Sun 09-Sep-12 23:02:10

collapses (again)

whoever has got the size nine boots can you don them and give me a kick up the rear... I need to get the wwashing out of the machine and do lunch for 2 children. (and find room in the fridge for 2 lunch boxes) I am just back froim a weekend at mums... being bombarded with questions about this that and the other. she seems a bit confused and unable to remember stuff. she relied on dad a lot and trying to do it on her on is hard. she is on her own next week as I am back for a full week of school. I should be able to do another eekend there to help but will need more time at home to do stuff here. I have been packing crockery and carrying boxes around getting ready for work being done... I ought to be doing the same at home too.

ds had a bit of a strop in asda and ran away several times screaming and shouting whilst I was at the till packing and paying for food, he spat on the conveyor and headbutted, then wet himself and howled loudly all because I needed to sort the shopping into mine and granny's and he could not put the strawberries on the conveyor before the pullups. I was glowing red enough to run a powerstation...

I took the children to visit mil in hospital. the new drugs have improved things and she is looking deceptively well. she is still hanging on in there.

I am off to make lunch. ds is having ham and cheese sandwiches. it is always ham and cheese.. <sigh> I had better choose his lunch carefully as it might always be the same for ever more...

Kaykat Sun 09-Sep-12 23:33:56

I feel like I have hit rock bottom. Crying most of the weekend. H is so mean. Told me if we split up he will make sure I get nothing. Told me it wasn't difficult to find someone better than me in bed. Then said he will do anything to get me back? What's that all about?
He can turn DS against me so easily and proved he can take him from me any time. He just locked the car doors so I couldn't get in and drove off. When I caught up with them DS didn't like me at all. If I dv H I will lose DS. Do I have to put up with an unfaithful husband so I don't lose my son?

Tuo Sun 09-Sep-12 23:52:46

Oh Kaykat. I'm so sorry to read this. I am no expert, but please believe me when I say that your H is messing with your head and trying to 'grind you down'. You will not lose your son, and he cannot just lock him in the car and drive off with him at will. Please, please get some advice on this from a solicitor, or Women's Aid, or Citizen's Advice or whatever. Others on this thread (and in the Relationships section too) know more than I do, but I couldn't read and not post. I am praying that you will get the advice you need to stop your H's behaviour, which is utterly unreasonable, cruel, and manipulative. It must be awful for your poor son, as well as for you. Please don't believe that your son doesn't like you. He is vulnerable and your H is unfairly trying to turn him against you because he knows that you will do anything not to hurt your son. I am thinking of you tonight, and will keep you in my prayers.

Kaykat Mon 10-Sep-12 00:20:29

Women's Aid can't help unless there is violence or a threat of violence. My son is 12 so he is old enough to make his own decisions and he does everything H tells him. I have seen a solicitor but could be living like this for months, I will try to see her again this week. Yes he is messing with my head and scaring me into staying with him. I know that DS loves me very much, he is being controlled, just like me. Tomorrow H will go off for the week and we can be happy again.

Womensaid are very interested in helping and supporting people whose husbands are emotionally abusive Kaykat. Yes they may not put you in a refuge but their advice in your situation would be very very helpful. They've helped Jan and her H is emotionally abusive as well.

This weblink is useful as well, as he is turning your son against you: www.resolution.org.uk/advice_for_parents/difficult_situations/#anchor682

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Mon 10-Sep-12 07:27:02

the courts work on a basis of a 50/50 split of assests then look at circumstances to see if this needs adjusting.

god holds a very dim view of men who left the wife of their youth...

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Mon 10-Sep-12 07:57:00

oh dear... school for ds this morning. it is cold and dd is wearing tights... which means ds wants to wear tights... tights are not uniform for boys (who knew?) hmm I am not sure it is going to make a good impression if I have to carry him in under one arm wearing only his top half of his clothes and kicking and screaming. (memories ofnursery)

cloutiedumpling Mon 10-Sep-12 09:17:08

Just a thought - would he wear footless tights under his trousers? Or thermal leggings or something? If he would it might get round the uniform policy.

madhairday Mon 10-Sep-12 09:20:55

Oh Kaykat. I don't know what to say, TUO has some good advice, I am sure women's aid would have some good advice too. He is being emotionally abusive and you should not have to put up with this. But I see your dilemma with ds too. I am sure he loves you and hopefully will see he is being controlled too. sad What a horrible situation. Praying.

Holding you all in prayer at the beginning of this new week.

jan2011 Mon 10-Sep-12 09:29:09

kaykat i am so sorry you are going through such a rough time.

none of this is your fault and you deserve to be around people who love you and think the world of you and build you up not tear you down - please know we are thinking of you and sending you hugs and i wish you could feel them as real hugs...

please don't write off WA. my husband never lifted a finger to me, and they were of enormous help to me. i phoned their helpline a few times and got lots of understanding and it made me feel so much better, i was also referred to local offices where someone came out to see me at my house, and she gave me her number and went through lots of options with me. if one person isn't helpful to you, please don't give up cos they are a very useful resource. you need to think about your future.

thinkinkg of you

MaryBS Mon 10-Sep-12 09:57:32

Katykat, I had an emotionally abusive husband (my first husband), he made similar threats about getting nothing if I left, told me I was disgusting and repulsive and no man could ever fancy me. If you want to PM me anytime, I am here for you.

Services went well yesterday I think. Children seemed to respond to the paralympics quiz I did, and I think the adults engaged with it too. I hope I've challenged thinking. Yesterday evening was evensnog and no problems there either, although that is a much easier service, made even easier because I used a cantor this time, rather than singing it myself. smile

Very tired, so apologies if I'm not acknowledging anyone/anything. Have a bible study to lead this afternoon too!

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Mon 10-Sep-12 14:53:05

evening SNOG <snigger>

what a fantastic typo! mary you are fab! well done on the service!

and praise God I actually got through to a real live human who can actually sort out a speech therapy appointment after ansa phone tennis!

MaryBS Mon 10-Sep-12 15:01:49

grin I tend to call it evensnog smile

Well done on getting through to someone, thats an achievement in itself!

DutchOma Mon 10-Sep-12 15:20:28

Yeah, she always does. You wonder what she gets up to smile
Well done for sorting the speech therapy appointment BES
Well, a local optician, one we have visited ever since we came to Northampton has just been and done a full eytest for Bob. In a way unfortunately he couldn't give any explanation for Bob's eye problems, nothing much had changed.
But I'm very impressed that they came out to do a home visit.

Kaykat Mon 10-Sep-12 17:28:06

Thanks lovely ladies, I was having a very low evening. I saw tha GP today and getting wonderful support from family too. WA gave me the phone number of a local office, so far I haven't been able to get through, they only answer at certain times mostly when I am at work. I would like someone to come and see me as they did with you Jan, so I will try to get through.

madhairday Tue 11-Sep-12 09:44:12

Keep trying Kaykat, I'm sure someone will answer soon.

That's impressive about the optician, DO, but sorry they couldn't shed light on anything.

lol at Mary and evensnog, yes it's a tradition here to call it that grin so glad the family service went so well, I knew it would.

I'm feeling a bit weary this morning and coughing more crap so wondering if something is approaching. Please not, it's been lovely to feel so 'normal' for a few weeks now.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Tue 11-Sep-12 14:37:55

oh heck. right, ds's consultant is going to school to observe him. the speech and language therapist is going to school to observe him. I am freaking out because sod's law dictates that he is going to behave impecably... then have a complete and utter meltdown at home and I will be the "bad parent"

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Tue 11-Sep-12 14:38:38

hope nothing develops mhd

DutchOma Tue 11-Sep-12 17:14:20

Sod's law does not always work BES. If that happens you smile sweetly and say that "you knew that he would make a liar of you". You do not even let the thought "bad mother" come into your head.
You are not. You know you are not. They have seen it all before.

HaveALittleFaith Tue 11-Sep-12 17:45:09

Praying for health mhd!

bes they know better than just to see a snapshot. It won't just be about how 'well behaved' he is or isn't! but how he responds to instructions, interacts with his peers etc. I pray they get an honest reflection of how he is and who he is so they can adequately meet his needs.

I have had a challenging day. Travelled to another hospital site to do a walk round and check the paperwork I implemented is being used ok. I found it gruelling to travel an hour both ways and walk round. Had to run off to be sick! I'm getting lots of 'you look tired' comments. Must start going to bed earlier! Looking forward to being 12 weeks and admitting what's causing my symptoms. Everyone thinks I'm ill!

jan2011 Tue 11-Sep-12 20:57:22

Im sitting here in tears after awful night with dh...arguing about our marriage. he says i didn't love him enough ( i went to bed early most nights), wasn't affectionate enough (partly because i am not an overly physical person which he knew when he married me, and partly because of the way i was treated in the marriage made me not want to), and that i provoked him to anger.

he said i need to hear the way he feels too if things are to work out, that he wouldnt want to live with me anyway unless i seen why he acted the way he did and realised i need to change.

he has hurt me so much, because since we split, he has made no effort at all with trying to please me or earn back trust. its all words like 'i love you' but no action. for example - we have had child locks and stairgates to fit for months even before he left which he didn't do, and he left, and when i brought it up he said well i don't live here anymore. i got my friends husband round to do it. if he really wanted me back, would he not want to do stuff like this cos he knows i can't do them myself? would he not offer to come round to do it or to do it before taking dd?

another thing is i asked him if i could go to church if he stayed here an extra hour on alternate sunday nights, and his response gave the impression he really didnt want to, it was really putting him out (affecting his great social life now) etc. he can go to church 3 nights a week if he wants, and has gone every sunday night...if he is wanting things to work out surely it wasn't much to ask so that i could get some fellowship.

my head is getting confused by it all. i feel so deeply hurt. i wish i could hear straight from God.... please keep in prayer its so hard all this.

Considering the fact he stopped marriage counselling, not you. It's a bit late to get it all out in the open angry You had been trying to! Grrrr.

This habit of his; to now attack you on contact visits isn't helpful. Perhaps you could go out when he comes over to see DD?

He isn't acknowledging his part in the break down of your marriage it seems and that must hurt so much. I don't know what to say Jan sad But he is rewriting history.

JugglingWithPossibilities Tue 11-Sep-12 21:07:13

Thinking of you jan. Is so hard when those closest to us hurt us so much.

I really don't like when a man says a woman isn't being affectionate enough. Usually there are good reasons based on the state of the relationship.
It's such a not taking any responsibility for anything sort of thing to say.

Much love from us all to you tonight x

Re-reading your message a second time; he simply sounds angry at you and selfish. You're not his emotional punch bag and he needs to leave if he is going to do this on contact. To leave and see your DD another day when he can behave civilly! Time to up your boundaries again.

Can anyone babysit sometimes instead? So you're less reliant on H and his whim?

jan2011 Tue 11-Sep-12 21:10:42

he says he does acknowledge it. but he doesn't seem to really care about making things better if you know what i mean. he is more concerned that i know why he did it. i do know he was under a lot of stress and pressure, and i keep saying to him that i do care, and that i am sorry for the problems i created but that it was still not excuse.
its so hard for me to get my head round. i am now feeling like a lot of it was my fault and if i don't try again to make things work out then it will all be my fault if we divorce. you are right it IS too late - and every issue that was brought up in counselling concerning me i was addressing and trying to right things - he wasn't making much of an effort.
i did go out tonight on the contact visit to try to avoid this. silly me came back before he left though thinking it would be ok. obviously not. i think its going to be hi and bye now. i don't know how we are going to 'work' on our marriage.

I think that was his plan, perhaps subconsciously? To put the guilt/ onus in you sad

Father God I ask you to release Jan now from this condemnation, to bring her peace and a lightness to her spirit and that she would rest easy in your loving arms tonight. Amen

On you. Not in you.
Silly phone blush

HaveALittleFaith Tue 11-Sep-12 21:13:58

My reflection on your post was that he was trying get you to take responsibility for everything that happened and resolve himself of any responsibility rather than actually doing anything to try to repair the relationship. I agree with Mome, perhaps the least contact possible when he sees your DD would give you some distance from this behaviour.

jan2011 Tue 11-Sep-12 21:35:41

thanks for your prayer and thoughts too havealittlefaith, i also texted my friend to pray and she was lovely. just wish all this was over....but i guess whatever happens, itl be a lengthly process. night night im going to try to read a book and then rest

lostmywellies Tue 11-Sep-12 21:40:54

Amen to Mome's prayer. He is being unfair and unkind. You can see how little effort he's putting into the relationship, and his talk is all geared to deflecting the focus away from him, by the sounds of it. Don't listen to him. Don't give him a chance to talk.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan Tue 11-Sep-12 22:32:25

one can not demand affection or respect <glares> he has not fullfilled his vows of loving you honouring and cherishing you. he has pulled you down and is trying to make it all about himself.

everyone is responsible for their own actions... you seem to be owning the mistakes that you made, but don't take on his stuff too, that is not how it should be.

Kaykat Tue 11-Sep-12 23:36:25

Thinking of you Jan and sending you a big hug. My H told me I wasn't affectionate enough too, that was one of his excuses for having an affair. He said he didn't like it that I used to lock the bedroom door or load the washing machine before giving him attention and OW was so spontaneous and put him first. I pointed out that she didn't have DC to worry about and she didn't have to do his stinking washing. If they wanted us to be more affectionate they could spend their time making us feel like a million dollars instead of knocking us down all the time don't you think?

Tuo Wed 12-Sep-12 01:22:50

Oh Jan. I'm so sorry that your H is making you feel like this. Please listen to Momey, Kaykat and BES... they are talking a lot of sense.

And amen indeed to Momey's prayer.

Heartfelt prayers for all tonight.

MaryBS Wed 12-Sep-12 07:56:41

He is a jerk (I say this in a spirit of Christian love). He is trying to put all the blame on you to lessen his own guilt feelings. He made vows to you when you married, he is a grown up, he is supposed to love you, could these things not have been discussed BEFORE he went looking? ARGH! My ex said I earned too much, as one of the reasons shock.

madhairday Wed 12-Sep-12 08:50:53

Oh Jan sad Agree with Mary and the others, he sounds like he is wriggling out of any responsibility and being utterly selfish. I am praying, as DO has, that you will feel released from the burden of feeling it is your fault, released from guilt and condemnation in this and released into being the beautiful, worthful woman God has made you.

Kaykat, praying for you too as you face this horrible behaviour sad It makes me so sad when men treat women like this sad Praying for peace and strength for you.

I'm not so well still, looks like chest infection. Oh well. I had about 6 weeks off which is a record smile On a good note, dd still enjoying high school to the full.

jan2011 Wed 12-Sep-12 11:59:13

sorry you aren't well mhd, it seems to be the kind of weather that would make chest infections worse. im so glad your dd settled into school well. and Kaykat and lostmywellies also thinking of you in your situations...

im so down today just feel so miserable and no motivation. why does he still have such a hold over me...and my emotions. i just sent him a massive email answering his questions and explaining why things were the way they were in our marriage and trying to get him to understand. and ive said as far as im concerned i see no hope for our marriage....he is very annoyed that im not trying to work through issues any more, and he doesn't think i care how hurt he is and the reasons why he was angry.

if only there was some solution in all of this.

lostmywellies Wed 12-Sep-12 12:57:25

Glad to hear your dd's thriving at her new school, mhd. And glad for the 6 weeks, though sorry they've come to an end.

Love Mary's first-sentence summary of Jan's situation! grin

We had a wonderful service at church on Sunday and I have renewed my attempts at a daily devotional time since then (easier now it's termtime). All going well and spiritually refreshing so far, so I'm praising God for that.

Can I please ask for prayer for a friend of mine who is in prison and is 3 weeks away from the first time bail could be granted? It is a really tough time, made much worse by the fact that he could well be deported after the release, and then be unable to see his dcs. He is a Christian and admits he did wrong, is sorry for what he did - but is struggling to hold onto any hope at the moment.

madhairday Thu 13-Sep-12 09:44:43

Praying for your friend, lost and glad you are happier, hope things better with dh?

Jan, how are you today? Praying.

amberlight Thu 13-Sep-12 11:13:24

Huge thanks for prayers....consultant says there's no sign of cancer on this first year check. Hurrah!!!!!

Keeping prayers going for each of you.

HaveALittleFaith Thu 13-Sep-12 11:18:42

Oh fantastic news amber! Praise be to God smile

madhairday Thu 13-Sep-12 12:14:52

smile Have been smiling all morning seeing this, amber smile

niminypiminy Thu 13-Sep-12 22:00:48

DS1's school have made him a pupil passport (which is a really useful thing that he can carry around and tells people important information about him and tips about what to do when he is having a meltdown). But it says 'I have autism' not 'I have Asperger Syndrome', which is what we have told him he has.

So I have had to have a long conversation with him about autism, and as he is 9, and intelligent, I can see he is thinking 'I am different from other people', and he is asking 'am I disabled?'.

So I'm sitting here crying, because this is like hearing the diagnosis all over again, and being faced with the reality that my lovely child does indeed have a disability. Tomorrow I will be fine with it again, but tonight I would really appreciate your prayers.

Kaykat Thu 13-Sep-12 23:35:03

Oh niminy, how thoughtless of them. Just tell him that everyone is different in their own way and that he is special and perfect. I am praying for you.

Tuo Fri 14-Sep-12 00:13:37

Oh niminy, your poor ds! And poor you, too. It must have been such a difficult conversation for you. Couldn't the school have asked you what you wanted to be put on the passport (which is, in itself, a great idea)? Might they replace it for him with one that says, instead, 'I have Asperger's Syndrome'? I pray that you, and he, find peace and acceptance, and even joy in difference - because, as Kaykat says, difference is an essential part of the human condition.

Prayers of thanks for Amber's all-clear tonight. That is good news, indeed.

Also praying for MHD to feel better again soon. And remembering Oma and Bob and praying that Bob stays as well as possible and that you both receive the support you need from those best-placed to provide it.

Praying for all those with problematic relationships, and especially Kaykat and Jan - but also thinking of Juggling, lost and Faith.

I'm already starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by work, so would welcome 'keeping on top of things' prayers!

jan2011 Fri 14-Sep-12 03:03:05

thankful for Ambers news smile

and praying for all the needs

DutchOma Fri 14-Sep-12 09:55:24

Niminy, you want to talk to Amber and Mary about Asperger's being a disability. I think they would profoundly disagree with you and talk about it as a differentability.
They both have Asperger's and are the most amazing people.

niminypiminy Fri 14-Sep-12 10:28:19

Differentability! That is wonderful! Thank you DutchOma' and through you, Amber and Mary. That is so helpful. Thank you for prayers.

Let me hear of your loving-kindness in the morning, for in you I put my trust;
Show me the way that I should walk in, for I lift up my soul to you. (psalm 143)