Has anyone heard of the community church cos I'm not very happy there really

(56 Posts)
sheepgomeep Fri 08-May-09 23:53:30

Ok this might be a bit rambly but I really need some advice.

last year I got lots of debt help from The Christians against Poverty (CAP), I'mn still with them now, they have been and still are fantastic. They stopped us from losing our home and fed us for a week as we were really really desperate, we had bailiffs calling to the door amongst other things.

The CAP affiliated themselves with a local church 'The Community Church' and after a chat with a few of the volunteers I decided to go to a sunday srevice there to see what is was all about.

I was brought CofE although my parents never went but my primary school was CofE and I used to love the assemblies, the prayers and the hymns, the vicar and the times we used to have services in the church I found very peaceful. God has always been a part of my life, although not in an organised way iyswim which is why I felt the time was right last year to pick up my faith.

Iv found the whole experience very uncomfortable from the word go. There are non traditional hymn singing in fact there are no hyms it all modern christian songs and its all very happy clapping and lots of people falling to thier knees and muttering in tongues (fine if it works for you, I'm not dispresecting it)

There is also no vicar or pastor. When I asked who did the sermons I was told that the church leaders did the sermons and I just got the impression that it was a free for all.

they are also very very pushy. Iv been to a couple of soaking and prayer meetings at one ladies house which I did quite like but I can't go that often due to work commitments. Since them Iv had a couple of the leaders ringing me up asking me why I can't go to church some sundays and when they would next expect me. One in particular asked if I could explain to asda (where I work) that I go church and could they change my shifts so I could go!!! My children arent at all easy with going either because the first time I took them they came out of sunday school creche thing brandishing something they'd made with the words 'you are forgiven' on the back that someone had written. My ds was quite upset because he thought he'd done something wrong.

I got prayed over well the lady called it prophesised and God wanted to speak to me through her and then she came out with this weird stuff about my past, my feelings etc. A lot of it was true but then she kept saying that if I dont dedicate my life to jesus NOW then God will withdraw from my life and the bad stuff will just start up again.

Is this true, can someone enlighten me? because this experience threw me completely (as I think it was designed to do) I ended being pushed into making a commitment that didn't feel right and then 2 days later (today) I got a card in the post from the church from the asda fella saying we are so glad you have become a born again christian and do I want to get baptised on sunday!!

I do believe, but I want to do it in my own time, Iv got a bible that I do read and find comfort from but I feel so lost and this church isn't helping me.

I do feel obligated to stay with this church because of thier heavy involvement with CAP and my CAP debt councillor is one of the leaders and many people have been very nice 1 has become a good friend but argggg what do I do.

I live in North Wales so no chance of a CofE church and I know nothing about church of wales.


someone please reply.

Donk Fri 08-May-09 23:57:58

Not real help I'm afraid
Church of Wales is Presbyterian.
The Church In Wales is the name for the Anglican church (I believe).
There must be Methodists about somewhere (seemed quite strong when I was in N. Wales) and lots of non-conformist chapels...

Twims Fri 08-May-09 23:59:36

I don't want to read and run - but I would cut your ties from this church because 1, you don't feel comfortable 2, your children don't feel comfortable and 3, it all sounds a little strange. God is there for everyone - you don't have to be in a church to believe or pray so take a step back and maybe talk to some of the people from the old congregation and see if they are attending else where.

sounds like a blooming cult to me.

if you feel uncomfortable, just stop all contact. im very wary of groups like this that actively recruit members, you ashould be able to pop in and out of church at your leisure

hopefully someone more knowledgable will come along soon

solidgoldSneezeLikeApig Sat 09-May-09 00:06:06

I would in general be a bit concerned about a charity that demanded this level of involvement in a religious group in return for its assistance.

BitOfFun Sat 09-May-09 00:08:05

I had never heard of them until today, oddly, when we drove past one in Southport! I would back off tbh, it sounds like the debt advice is part of a hook designed to make you feel beholden...it's basic marketing: that's why companies spend the money including free pens in their marketing literature, or offer a free gift for enquiring about their insurance etc- they know that psychologically it makes people feel like they ought to reciprocate, so they make their money back...and then some. Don't feel guilty for stepping away- they are quite cynically trying to recruit through this same tactic, and it's not in your best interests. It feels rotten to think that you aren't living up to your honour, and they are playing on your conscience like this: they are the ones not being fair, not you! Give them a wide berth...

Yurtgirl Sat 09-May-09 00:09:54

Hi sheepgomeep

I am a seriously lapsed (loads of reasons that I wont go into!) christian

I dont know anything about the community church but it doesnt sound too great based on your post

This experience that you described "but then she kept saying that if I dont dedicate my life to jesus NOW then God will withdraw from my life and the bad stuff will just start up again"

is very worrying - completely unbiblical pressurising

God will never withdraw from your life.
She is trying to force you into becoming a christian - there are bible verses to make this point correctly - owing to my lapsedness they are beyond me right now

Revelations 3 verse 20 might be it - jesus knocks at the door asking to come into your life. It is your choice when and if you open that door.

Someone told me years ago, once God is holding your hand he never lets go, even if you do!

HTH - There are many on mumsnet that can help you much more, Ill bump this for you tommorrow

sheepgomeep Sat 09-May-09 00:18:28

hi thanks for replying. I also forgot to mention that CAP sent our family on a retreat to the jonas centre in yorkshire, They told me that CAP was paying for us to go and I was too go and enjoy ourselves

BUT when we got there we were told that we were expected to attend these meetings and eat communally. Dp is a total non believer and he put his foot down and needless to say we came home 2 days later.

This site was in the middle of no where no phone signal, 20 miles from a supermarket and we were so unhappy.

Yes I suppose it does sound a bit of a cult my mum is very concerned about it.

Yurtgirl Sat 09-May-09 00:22:07

I have just googled "community church" - a lot (all?) have a New Frontiers connection

I cant remember why this rings ominous bells in my brain though!

Everything I can find on tinterweb about New frontiers (and Terry Virgo its founder) is positive hmm

I am yet to find a church near me that suits me so I understand your problem - I wouldnt continue to go there though!

skramble Sat 09-May-09 00:26:28

I have experienced the whole born again thing and this sounds a little bit more home grwon and self expanded if you know what I mean, thats when it gets messy when people start to add lots of little bits of their own.

The basics of being born again as I was taught were that to be born again you had to ask god to come into your life, to seek forgiveness for all your past sins and basicly promise to make god the main manin your life. If you don't make this pledge and become 'born again' then you don't get into heaven. No threats of bad things happening to you. Once you are born again, if you commit any sin you will get into heaven but will have to answer for these sins.

That was how I got taught it by the born again peps of the Baptist church and by some independents who I don't know what church they affiliated themselves to but ran an outdoor centre for kids.

So no threats but no heaven grin.

But I am over all that now wink.

sheepgomeep Sat 09-May-09 00:31:30

bitoffun Iv only heard of the community church in wrexham and chester (its the wrexham one I go too), I wonder how many of these churches there actually are accross the country.

Yurtgirl thank you for your post, that bit about once God is holding your hand he never lets go even if you do- sort of reminds me about the footprints in the sand..

I did feel a lot of pressure from this lady and very put on the spot. I also find her quite scary (another reason why my kids hate church) is that she (amongst others) worship themselves into a frenzy and violently shake and vibrate (thats the only way to describe it) and it scares them a bit.

sheepgomeep Sat 09-May-09 00:39:04

I don't mind the idea of 'born again' asking God to come into my life though, I'm just uncomfortable about being pushed really

My brother is baptist but I find him hardgoing although I think that says far more about him than 'baptism' i think.

Apologies to anyone if you do belong to the community church though, I just feel very uncomfortable about it all

solidgoldSneezeLikeApig Sat 09-May-09 00:57:38

Ok they are loons. DOn't expose your DC to any more of this looning, it's upsetting for them and totally unnecessary. Have a chat with the CAB about your financial problems, there is no need to be blackmailed into spending time with a cult (and they do sound worryingly cult-like).

skramble Sat 09-May-09 00:58:15

It is something you choose to do when you are ready, you should not be pushe, they will keep pushing.

Born agains can be a bit over enthusiastic about it sometimes, but the whole set up seems a bit questionable.

I don't go to church now and I really don't worry about god all that much, I have my own faith in what I belive to be right and I have my morals, I don't need to be in a certain building once a week to know this and to be what I want to be. I am much more into mother nature these days I think. I saw too much emphathis on church being a building rather than the people and became disalusioned (sp?).

I did enjoy it at the time and made good freinds and had good times wit the Youth Fellowship, but I can get that from elsewhere now. And I have other things I can dedicate my time to as a volunteer.

blithedance Sat 09-May-09 01:07:03

I go to a church a bit like that (ie non-denominational and charismatic evangelical). "Community churches" are not one single organisation - they vary from ones affiliated to a big network like New Frontiers or Ichthus that I feel have a degree of accountability/leadership, to one-offs where it's down to the local leadership team. The wrexham set up seems to be somewhere in the middle - a few UK branches. One of the things I checked when we started going to New Frontiers was the leadership structure and how the leaders are trained and supported even if they don't have "Rev" in front of their name. But there is another community church near us that I didn't get at all a good vibe about... they all vary.

The place you went to seems way too pushy though. There is no a place for hassling people who don't attend regularly or veiled threats about making a commitment. We are very irregular at church due to DH's work and we have nothing but kindness and appreciation when we do show up. It's not right to feel under pressure - at best they are overenthusiastic and at worst they are pressuring someone a bit vulnerable. Don't feel obligated because of the debt counselling, if they are genuine they will be just as happy to see you worship somewhere else.

Not sure about the retreat- was it a church weekend away or on your own?

blithedance Sat 09-May-09 01:16:03

I would say don't throw the baby out with the bathwater too. Plenty of churches of all flavours have community projects as part of their ministry to the local area, in fact it's a good sign if they want to put something back rather than just meet on Sundays.

MaryBS Sat 09-May-09 09:16:02

Sheepgomeep (cool name btw), it doesn't really sound the right place for you at all! Don't feel obligated because of your CAP help, they should be helping you without any thought of reward, not so they can "convert" you.

There is a New Frontiers church in Cambridge, I visited them last year. The worship sounds very similar, but the message they preached was a lot more Christ-like, there was no guilt-tripping which is what you seem to be getting.

If you are comfortable with the CofE, perhaps give the Church in Wales a chance. If you like, I can make enquiries in your area, as I "know" a couple of priests in the CinW on another board I'm on, they may be able to suggest a more traditional place in which you feel comfortable.

sheepgomeep Sat 09-May-09 10:00:01

Well the retreat away was called a 'discovery break' which was supposed to be a chance for me in particular to explore chritianity.
Which was fine but dp didn't want to take part at all, fair enough it was his choice.

I was told that the centre had a well equipped shop, that there a brilliant childrens adventure playground and there would be loads to do. Also a proper creche in which to leave the dc, the baby one was a ring of chairs pushed together which dd2 kept escaping from hence dp putting his foot down about leaving her there. No shop and a dilapidated play area totally unsuitable for younger children ie downright dangerous.

The log cabins were lovely though, really really nice and homely and the countryside was amazing.

I looked at the website and the centre is not only for christians its also a place for diadvantaged families to stay too, we were encouraged not to leave the site although we did, found it very claustrophobic not too, the site was on a slope and unsuitable for pushchairs, steep slippery steps etc.

Anyway I'm rambling.

MaryBs if you could make enquiries about local church of Wales churches that would be great. Thank you.

justaboutspringtime Sat 09-May-09 10:05:37

Just to concur with what everyone else has said - it doesn't sound like a "cult" exactly but the pressure isn't good. Going to church should be a choice, and it should be a place where you feel comfortable/at home/ and where you feel able to talk to God. There are many different kinds of churches including very responsible Pentecostal ones: this doesn't sound like that.

As for the charismatic stuff, different things suit different people, but I would be wary of anyone who said if you don't follow Jesus bad things will happen to you.

puffling Sat 09-May-09 11:38:48

Are you able to talk to your CAP friend and explain that you're not comfortable with that type of church service. Perhaps they could point you towards another church. In honesty though, I think they would be likely to make you feel that you should continue at their church. And that would not in itself be a very christian attitude.
Christians often say 'What would Jesus do?' Well i think Jesus would have helped you and expected nothing in return.
I'm sure there are some lovely churches in North Wales, where you'd feel comfortable and supported.

puffling Sat 09-May-09 11:44:59

I just looked up the church of Wales and found there church locator: here
I don't know where you are but I randomly typed in Prestatyn to the locator and found this very nice sounding church:here

best wishes

MaryBS Tue 12-May-09 12:23:24

Hi sheepgomeep, sorry for not replying before, I thought of you when on "Flog it" the other day, they showed inside St Giles' church in Wrexham!

I've posted the query for you, I'll let you know what response I get. Have asked for something more traditional than happy clappy in the Wrexham area, that is child friendly. Hope that is OK!

I have just read your post as a fairly new mumsnetter & it raised a couple of points. Firstly i am a Christian ( since an Alpha course 6 yrs ago ) Previous to that i had Cof E upbringing at school. The church i attend now is a Lively Pentecostal church in North Wales! Where do you live??
Our church is just about to get involved in CAP & I have to say it is a marvellous organisation & you must remember just how much they have helped u out. There is nothing dodgy about it , they are outwardly ChristiAn & in fact won the Times small business of the yr last yr.
However, the church you are attending does sound pushy. I have been in the same place where i wanted a relationship with God but as soon as anyone started pushing me i would withdraw.
It would be an idea to contact the CAP church leader u are so friendly with & explain how u feel. If they have any sense if they do not want to lose u they will listen. I remember my 1st few months as anew christian when everything is a bit raw & i just had one 2 one mentoring for ages with a lady from our church. is this possible to answer questions etc
Regards the falling on floor, clapping etc, I've bin in the same place as u & it all seems kind of normal now (tho i've never fallen on the floor!! ) any help? sorry A BIT WAFFLEY ) i don't think its a bad church but whats right for some can be pushy for others. PS i am based in Caernarfon

I have just read your post as a fairly new mumsnetter & it raised a couple of points. Firstly i am a Christian ( since an Alpha course 6 yrs ago ) Previous to that i had Cof E upbringing at school. The church i attend now is a Lively Pentecostal church in North Wales! Where do you live??
Our church is just about to get involved in CAP & I have to say it is a marvellous organisation & you must remember just how much they have helped u out. There is nothing dodgy about it , they are outwardly ChristiAn & in fact won the Times small business of the yr last yr.
However, the church you are attending does sound pushy. I have been in the same place where i wanted a relationship with God but as soon as anyone started pushing me i would withdraw.
It would be an idea to contact the CAP church leader u are so friendly with & explain how u feel. If they have any sense if they do not want to lose u they will listen. I remember my 1st few months as anew christian when everything is a bit raw & i just had one 2 one mentoring for ages with a lady from our church. is this possible to answer questions etc
Regards the falling on floor, clapping etc, I've bin in the same place as u & it all seems kind of normal now (tho i've never fallen on the floor!! ) any help? sorry A BIT WAFFLEY ) i don't think its a bad church but whats right for some can be pushy for others. PS i am based in Caernarfon

sheepgomeep Tue 12-May-09 23:36:43

MaryBs thanks for getting back to me and thanks for posting that query for me. Hopefully you will get some replies back.

Lol about St Giles church on flog it, its a lovely place with a lovely feel to it inside, very peaceful even dp likes it which is amazing for someone who does not 'do' religion in the slightest and is almost phobic about it.

Catherineseoint hello, thanks for your post, it is nice to know that someone has had some similiar experiences and you are right about CAP its not CAP I really have the problem with as they have been great but many of the church leaders do work with CAP and I do feel awkward about my feelings about thier church especially when I had some lovely kind people from the congregation helping us at the very beginning of my families involvement with CAP.

CAP itself don't push you to do anything. You are asked at the beginning of thier involvement with you if you mind if they pray with or for you and if you dont then thats ok it your choice.

Its the church itself that I have the issue with. I really don't feel comfortable there. I hate being pushed before I'm ready

I'm in wrexham

cornsilk Tue 12-May-09 23:44:02

They are trying to exert control over you. Can you explain to them how they are making you feel? Would they listen?

KayHarkerInTheBackOfTheQuattro Tue 12-May-09 23:44:07

Are they affliated to any bigger church type organizations at all? 'Community Church' is just a generic name for a non-denominational style church, often happy clappy which will usually be functionally independent, but they may well be part of a bigger 'chain' of churches, like Pioneer or something like that, which might give some idea of whether they've just got a few out-there pushy members, or it's more of a church policy.

Frankly it sounds like the kind of church I'd be shrivelling up in the corner in.

StinkyPee Tue 12-May-09 23:52:15

I'm with a New Frontiers church, and I've always been very happy with the accountability of the Elders and the leadership team. It's always freindly to visitors, but never as pushy as you're describing the Community Church.
Here's a link to the Wrexham NFI church Gateway church

sheepgomeep Wed 13-May-09 00:34:53

I found out today that The community church in wrexham is part of a higher organisation called 'New Day International' and they do have a website.

Stinkypee thanks for your link Ill have a indepth look at that inn a bit had a quick look just now.

cornsilk I really do need to talk to them don't I. My friend who became born again 15 months ago is lovely but talks loads about herself lol. I'm thinking bout having a word with my CAP organiser she is very nice.

MaryBS Wed 13-May-09 10:13:11

Sheepgomeep, I've had the following reply back, which seems helpful. Will let you know if anyone else suggests anything:

"Holy Trinity at Gwersyllt was child friendly when visited, St. Giles in Wrexham is high church, and the Methodist church in the centre of Wrexham was child friendly with a good mix of traditional and modern. Hope this helps"

(and I STILL love your name! )

KayHarkerInTheBackOfTheQuattro Wed 13-May-09 11:53:24

Is it this one, sheepgomeep?

KayHarkerInTheBackOfTheQuattro Wed 13-May-09 12:06:39

Oh. Just had a deeper look, and if that is the para-church umbrella for your church, then they are very much at the more outlandish end of the charismatic spectrum.

copycat Wed 13-May-09 13:31:14

Hi sheepgomeep, I picked up your post yesterday but didn't have time to reply, however I did google your church and found their website here which makes reference to New Day International. My dh and I have attended a small non denominational christian fellowship for the past 15 years or more which sounds like a 'toned down' version of the community church that you have been attending and I spent the previous 10 years in larger more lively churches like New Frontiers. However I did become a christian through friends who attended a Baptist church and I spent the first couple of years of my christian life exploring my faith in a less 'scary' 'out there' spiritual environment.

When I eventually started to attend a lively evangeligal/pentecostal type of church it was because my personal relationship with God and my understanding of bible scriptures relating to gifts of the Holy Spirit, the power of prayer, healing, prophesy, spiritual authority (I don't mean authority over another person but authority in prayer and in your own life) had deepened and I felt assured enough in my relationship with God to move into a more challenging christian environment. Without enough biblical knowledge and understanding and internal encouragement of the Holy Spirit (not another well-meaning, fervent Christian!) I don't think it would have been helpful to me personally to attend a very charismatic. As my passion for God grew so did my hunger to move out of my spiritual comfort zone into something more challenging.

Having read the Wrexham Community Church website I don't think the church is a cult. They have links with other churches here and abroad. I haven't heard of New Day Int but the type of service you have described is quite ummm 'American' if you know what I mean (no disrespect meant, I'm just sensing that the style of the services, meetings and ministries is very Spirit lead and charismatic). 'Prayer soaking' for example doesn't sound like an English expression. A cult would be exclusive "we are the only church you should go to as we are the only ones who really understand the truth .." that kind of thing. However, it does sound like some members of the congregation are not gauging your spiritual temperature so to speak and are trying to draw you too quickly and too forcefully into a deeper spiritual commitment. Personally, from what you have described, I would imagine that their own fervency and excitement about the things of God has overpowered their sensitivity to you as a person. Encouragement from another Christian is one thing but no one should 'talk you into' or persuade you to become a Christian - it has to be God through his Holy Spirit who calls you to place your life in His hands. It is your response to His love and grace that has to be the foundation of your Christian faith and, as has been said, God's love is unconditional and eternal and is not dependent on you but is freely offered for you to receive as a personal choice.

It sounds as though you are comfortable with God and being a Christian but not with the style of worship at the church you have been attending. In a way I am not suprised! It's a complete shock to attend a highly pentecostal type of church as a non-believer or a young Christian and understandably scary. I have been there too and I completely understand how you are feeling. It's such an alien environment to everything that you have come across before (especially if you have had other experiences of church) which is why I would encourage you to explain how you are feeling to one of your closer contacts/friends at the church and see if they can get everyone to back off and allow you to journey with God at your own pace.

Please continue to explore your precious but fragile faith in ways you feel comfortable - through books or teaching CDs or your own Bible readings and prayer and, if you are really struggling then try a different church which is less ... ummm fervent. Maybe the New Frontiers church would be similar but more toned down.

I do hope and pray that the love and care that you have received from the people at CAP hasn't been tainted by the pushyness of other less sensisitve (although probably well-meaning) christians. Don't give up on church life - there is a 'comfortable' spiritual home out there for you and your family and I shall pray that God will help you find it.

Keep in touch in the coming weeks and let us know how you get on.

lou031205 Wed 13-May-09 14:06:23

It sounds like they have been a bit keen!

Yurtgirl, just to reassure, New Frontiers is a great organisation, and the churches within it all have autonomy, but submit to the wider leadership of New Fronteirs.

"Community church" is a very common title for 'free' churches, in itself it doesn't signify membership of any organisation.

OP - You have two options.

1. Give them a bit longer, but tell them that you find their 'keeness' a bit overwhelming, and would like to explore things at a slower pace. - If they are a good church, they should cope with that. We are a New Fronteirs church, and have some people who just dip in occasionally, some who only come to social events, and others who are fully committed to the church family. We aren't there for headcounts.

2. Find a church that is a bit lower key.

lou031205 Wed 13-May-09 14:11:09

Sorry, forgot to say that your financial help should have absolutely bearing on your decisions.

MaryBS Thu 14-May-09 07:43:23

I've had another reply, apparently St Marks church is very friendly, although main service is quite early, at 9:30am.

MaryBS Fri 15-May-09 08:32:51

Just to let you know there's been another vote for the Methodist church...

toddlerama Fri 15-May-09 13:20:55

SheepgoMeep, I think you already know this but CAP is in no way exclusive to the Community Church you've ended up in. Please don't turn away from the help they are offering you because of some weirdy experiences at church! Anyone telling you that you can go 'too far' and God will leave you is perhaps getting carried away trying to make a point. It isn't in His nature to abandon people when they need Him most. Keep looking - you'll find like minded people. But also stay open minded, you might be surprised at the kind of christian's you end up having the most in common with.

sheepgomeep Mon 18-May-09 22:18:55

Hi sorry its taken me a few days to catch up with this thread, many thanks for all your replies. Iv heard that the methodist church in wrexham is friendly my exs cousin got married there! I might go and have a look.

I'm not going to stop my involvement with CAP because of this though,

Thanks ,marybs for your help. Its greatly appreciated

MaryBS Tue 19-May-09 07:18:20

Thanks for letting us know.

I get "Reader" magazine, which is the magazine for Readers/Licensed Lay Ministers in the CofE. There was a 2 page feature on CAP which was very interesting - all very good stuff. So it definitely extends beyond independent community churches

DutchOma Tue 19-May-09 12:09:00

I have been an enthusiastic supporter of CAP for a few years now, so when I read this thread I got quite worried and wrote to them. I have just received this statement back from them:-
"CAP clients are under no obligation to attend services at the partner church, or indeed to attend church at all. Should a client show interest in knowing more about God, a debt advisor will offer to pray for them and leave relevant literature. Should a client have no interest in matters other than debt counselling, they would continue to receive the highest quality service irrespective of their lack of interest in Christianity."
I hope this will set your mind at rest. maybe you could show this statement to the person at the church that has put you under pressure, so they can modify their behaviour

Julia4J Thu 04-Jun-09 23:28:46

I have just discovered you having been looking up New Day International and their church in Wrexham as I have been to one or two of their meetings and was wondering whether they had a conference going on.

Firstly I would highly recommend that you re-read Copycat's message. She sounds as though she is very sensible and balanced in her walk with God and her knowledge of how some denominations operate. I know Community Church a bit and can quite appreciate your concerns. However, I can assure you that although I have no desire to be a regular attender to this church, even though I only live a few miles away, it is a church and not a cult.

I am so sorry that you have felt hassled but I am aware,having been guilty of this 'sin' myself that enthusiasm can overtake sensitivity and even common sense.

With regard to 'soaking' this came about through Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship when revival hit them in January 1994 and it is still going on. They discovered that the power of God could sometimes be so strong that people were falling to the floor and sometimes spending quite a bit of time there. As they sought testimonies they found a common denominator. God was drawing each one of them into a closer walk with him.

So 'soaking' came about, where you put on some worship type music ask God to be with you and protect you. Then you lie down on the floor and tell God that you are going to spend some time with Him, not praying or speaking but just waiting on Him. This could be five, ten, thirty minutes or so. And you get up and go on with your normal day.

In time or for some, immediately, this 'soaking' does draw you closer to the Father's heart and helps you to know better how much He loves you.

Hope this is helpful to anyone still reading this question and answer session. Sorry have no idea what to call it, have not been on this sort of site before.

FAQinglovely Fri 05-Jun-09 00:17:30

just another voice to say that the New Frontiers are generally very good and not at all pushy in a "it's our way of worship or no way" type of way.

I have just recently (yesterday) discovered that my parents (Methodist local preacher and CoE attenders too) and I attended when I was younger, and I know my SIl and her family attend one too.

I mentioned to DH about the comment you were told about God withdrawing from you if you didn't dedicate to him now and he was horrified. And he's seriously considering (and praying about) entering into ministry in the non-denominational churches. He says to find somewhere else that you feel comfortable

FAQinglovely Fri 05-Jun-09 00:20:22

just read copycats post - excellent advice there.

DutchOma Fri 05-Jun-09 10:16:05

Sorry for the hijack
To FAQ's post
"And he's seriously considering (and praying about) entering into ministry in the non-denominational churches"

Is that a a turn up for the book and a very nice one too or have I got the wrong dh?

Jackstini Wed 10-Jun-09 09:45:05

sgm - did you visit the Methodist Church? Just wondering how you got on, my dd loves ours and they seem very good with kids and not too pushy.

donnymouse Wed 10-Jun-09 18:11:40

If you feel unhappy, or alarm bells are going off its usually the Holy Spirit. I too have had experiences with 'community churches' and they have all been bad.

carrifost Thu 27-Jun-13 15:26:01

Hi Sheepgomeep

I am a member of the community church in Wrexham. Its not for everyone, and I was upset to read that people are being pushy with you.

So lets get it straight - you don't have to attend the church if you don't want to - its great you want to pursue God, but you don't have to do it at Wrexham Community Church. If all the help you want is the stuff you are getting from CAP, it is a service that is there for you to use - Christian, non-christian, church goer, non-church goer.

The church does have a 'pastor' it's just we don't call our church leader that - his name is Nick Pengelly - and if people are being pushy you can speak to him about it.

There is a leadership team - it is not a free for all. Different people do speak - but they are 'invited' to speak by leadership team.

Personally I find the shaking thing a bit over the top, but I do know I encounter God, but its 'one of them' happy clappy churches and people kinda do that thing. If you don't like it, you have no obligation to join in.

Wrexham community church used to part of New Day International, its not now. To be honest, even though I have been a member for almost 15 years, I still don't quite understand who the 'church' belongs to now. But then I don't particularly get involved with all that stuff. I like the services, I believe in God and I count the church members as friends and family. The stuff I don't like I don't get involved in.

I think if you told the people 'praying' for you, or ringing you etc. that you found them overwhelming, pushy and uncomfortable they would be devastated that they made you and your children feel that way.

In their defence most of the people at the church are good people - but even good people can get it wrong.

My advice. Keep getting the help you need from CAP if its helping but don't 'feel' you have to do anything you don't want to. And if people from the church are being a pain tell them its not helpful and they will understand. I'd also report them to your CAP advisor who can report it to the church leadership.

Panadbois Thu 27-Jun-13 17:16:09

((( carrie - this thread is four years old. I won't mention anything if you don't)))

Hi * sheepgomeep* I am so sorry you have had this negative experience. Although pleased the charity have been helpful to you.

It sounds like a bit of a mismatch, what you want and expect from this particular church and what they want and expect from you, are in agreement! They do also sound very pushy.

Please do not allow this to put you off Jesus.

I hope you will find another place to be and get to know God more in an environment that feels comfortable and friendly and pleasant.

If the church ask you why you do not wish to attend I would simply say you feel it is right to go elsewhere.

I agree with others that an Anglican style one might be more your type of thing based on what you have said.

All the best.

That should read "...are NOT in agreement! "

Blimey I am the op! I have name changed since then

I did end up leaving the church but I still havent found anywhere to go. Its quite difficult with the kids as they dont want to go.

Carri. I nearly fell down with shock when i read you are part of wrexhams community church. I am wondering if I do in fact know you. I did leave the church and I also left cap around the same time as I fell out with my advisor from Bradford.

Im back with cap now and ive been asked if I want to attend church again. I really don't know if I should try again.

reggiebean Mon 08-Jul-13 15:50:52

We have a Community Church where I'm from (US), and they're meant to be non-denominational. It's one of the (many) churches I was raised in, and while I don't think they're a cult, they are definitely very high pressure, mainly because there is such a focus on "being a church to the un-churched" and trying to welcome new people into the church.

As a bit of a separate point, I was never able to get an answer on this, but I'd be curious to hear what they said to you if you asked. In the bible, it says that you shouldn't speak in tongues in front of those who aren't believers or those who aren't qualified to translate (depending on which version you read). I think it does absolutely make those who aren't familiar with it very, very uncomfortable, and I wonder what their reasoning is for allowing it in a church when they know that there are non-believers there?

kthsalter Fri 25-Jul-14 10:14:00

Just found this because I was looking for something else!
Don't know if you have sorted this out, but I could recommend Gateway Church www.gwrx.org/ which is part of a large organisation (New Frontiers), which is really good, and not at all pushy.


Hi see this is zombie thread but hey ho i first became a christian in a pentecostal church what you describe is the reason i left there and moved on even tried to push me into getting baptised but my parents felt i was too young to make the right choice and i am glad they said no.
then because then after that it got worse they even told me not to listen to pop music or wear short skirts a real church shouldnt be like that. There will be churches like this you just have to move around churches until you feel comfortable somewhere. CAP are a brilliant organisation but dont feel pressured to go to the church they run from. i always think its good, for someones faith to be comfortable and accepted rather than pushed to do things and not look forward to Sunday mornings x

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now