not feeling connected with God

(15 Posts)
mailfuckoff Sun 26-Jun-16 08:31:05

I don't feel like going to church at the moment. My whole life is flat and now lacking direction and stability and I've lost sight of the big picture. However I do feel it's good for my dc to attend church club as that's their routine and they have fun. However how rude is it if I drop them at church club but don't go into church myself? I'm having a real struggle with myself this morning and I feel guilty.

Friendofsadgirl Sun 26-Jun-16 08:42:00

Its not rude but I understand the feeling of guilt.
I've been dragging myself to church for DDs sake recently. I do feel a little better for having been but I think that's just down to an hour of relative calm and time to think.
I'm hoping that by keeping going, I'll eventually start feeling more connected again?

mailfuckoff Sun 26-Jun-16 10:17:43

I couldn't go in. I dropped an ram but I couldn't go home either so now I'm sat in the car wondering if a cafe is a bad choice

Friendofsadgirl Sun 26-Jun-16 10:38:08

Hope you got a brew and cake. Both are good for the soul IMO.

peachpudding Sun 26-Jun-16 16:32:00

A far more important matter is what about your DC? The happy church club is filling your DC's head with lots of ideas that will make them feel guilty when they grow up.

Do you really want to impose what you're feeling now on your children?

mailfuckoff Sun 26-Jun-16 17:50:44

Friends thanks for your kind words

Peach are you a Christian or do you have faith? Have you ever woken up and thought today I feel sad and don't want to be around people? Are you ever worried about your future and don't have a settled heart?. My faith has been a light when things have been bad and my church friends have been very welcoming and accepting of me and my family and have given us a community to be in, a community who cares. I want my dc to grow up in a community of people who want to help others and who see the big picture. A negative week or two from me does not stop a lifetime of wanting to share my faith with my dc.

Friendofsadgirl Sun 26-Jun-16 19:56:28

I never understand why people post on threads like this just to have a go. It's in Philosophy/Religion. If that's not your bag, there are plenty of other topics.
If you choose not to follow a religion, that's your choice. If you do have a faith and are just wobbling about life, you need some support, not criticism.

mail, I hope you have a good week and regain your "settled heart" (lovely phrase). flowers

notagiraffe Sun 26-Jun-16 20:03:26

OP, there are lots of things you can do. Church is only one way to find a spiritual connection. You could sit in the car and listen to gospel music, St Matthew Passion or some other faith music you love. You could meditate or pray quietly on a walk, asking God and Jesus for help. You could attend another church for a while - a Quaker meeting or a High Anglican latin, bells and smells. Not suggesting you treat faith like a hobby, but sometimes we need to find new pathways back to it. You could tell friends at church, go on an Alpha or Christianity explained course.
And pray. Praying is the best way to feel connected to God, whatever your circumstances.

peachypips Sun 26-Jun-16 20:24:11

When I have felt like this occasionally in the past my friend has said to me that it really helps to carry on doing the things that you do when you DO feel close to God. So for me this means going to church regularly, participating in worship even though I don't feel like it, reading the Bible and praying regularly. This then draws me closer again if that makes sense? The temptation when you are feeling distant from God is to give up and drift further away, but going through the motions to start with results in the feelings coming back I think.
Hope you are OK- sounds like you have a lot on.

Illias Sun 26-Jun-16 22:47:01

I agree with Peachy. I was brought up to believe that that prayer and worship and bible-study are what you do when you feel close to God, when actually they are the 'framework' that upholds and strengthens faith, even in difficult times. It led to me never doing those things when I wasn't 'feeling it' because I felt not good enough to IYKWIM, when actually if I'd kept doing those things I would have grown alot more in my faith and love of God.

I find the Psalms really helpful when I don't know how to pray - they're full of honest, direct prayers and put words in my mouth when I sometimes don't know how to pray.

peachpudding Sun 26-Jun-16 23:18:44

mailfuckoff, I occasionally feel sad and dont want to be around people but I never feel guilt for things I haven't done. I worry about my future and usually I do something about it. I have friends, family and a community that cares. They are welcoming and accepting of me and my family, a light when things have been bad. I want my DC to grow up in that community surrounded by love and happiness. I just want more than you, I want to not feel guilty for things I didn't do, I don't want my DC to feel guilty for things they didn't do, why should anyone?

I know people who are demonised by that guilt, it damn hard to recover from it. It gets worse as you get older. I would only wish it on my worst enemies, certainly not my children.

BoxofSnails Mon 27-Jun-16 07:34:55

I think we all have phases of feeling that God is distant. I am sure your church family will understand that you weren't up to being in church today.
I think poorly taught theology is responsible for the awful, life changing guilt that peach is talking about, and it is a real thing.
It's different to this 'long dark night of the soul' feeling through which we can and do emerge with our faith strengthened.
OP how do you find easy connectedness (is that a word?!!) with God? For me it's music, by singing the words, they slip into my heart. And allow your Christian friends in to where you are - they will pray while you can't and be Jesus to you while you can't see him.

Faith is very much like a journey which is an overused metaphor but it does capture the lived experiences of so many people, of ups and downs and growth and setback and thin places and the desert that are part of the spiritual life. As other posters have said it can be helpful to try a different way of praying, or a different church or find a quiet day run by your church/diocese to give some fresh perspective. Can you volunteer at something like a food bank to experience some faith in action or just plan a bit of stillness I the park to be rather than do?

mailfuckoff Tue 28-Jun-16 12:03:11

Thank you for all your messages.

I tried properly praying yesterday, actually opening my heart with all that is heavy on it and that seems to have helped a bit. My daily bible reading is becoming less of a chore and I've been keeping it up. We have a church BBQ coming up so I'm hoping that will help recreate and restore my faith.

peachypips Tue 28-Jun-16 14:24:41

Well done- I hope you continue to feel closer to God xx

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