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Philosophy/religion

Question for Catholics about having a Mass said

6 replies

LapsedCath · 21/11/2006 19:03

Guess I'm a typical lapsed Catholic with fairly common political qualms about the Church and an increasingly "abstract" faith. I haven't spoken to my parish priest since DS' baptism 3 years ago and I've only been to Mass about 4 times since, but I guess in times of crisis it all means a bit more.
I had a missed miscarriage last month. I found one of the hardest parts of the whole process signing the release form before my ERPC stating no ceremony or service would be provided for the remains, so I'd like a Mass said for our baby and all miscarried babies and their parents.
I'll probably phone the priest this week. This may sound a little shallow, but how much should I offer to have a Mass said? I know there isn't a "fee" as such because you can't "buy" a Mass but I know a sum would be expected. I don't want to embarrass him (or myself)
Also do you think it's weird/wrong/selfish of me to ask for a Mass when my faith is so vague and church attendance so scant? Is it like turning to a friend for help who you haven't spoken to for years with no real intention of seeing them that often in the future?

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belgo · 21/11/2006 19:14

If you want a mass said, then you obviously do have faith, and I don't think it's selfish of you to turn to the church in your time of need. I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage, and I think having a mass said is a lovely idea, and this is what the church is there for.

As for payment - I think in my church a usual amount is about 20-30 pounds - but I could be wrong.

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Tommy · 21/11/2006 19:18

definitely not wrong to have a mass said. I think the parish community would only be too happy to say prayers for your baby.

As to how much, I have no idea but I would guess something along the lines of what belgo has said or you could ask the priest when you phoned him.

I had a miscarriage last year and my priest found out about a service held especialy for babies who had died before they were born which I went along to. I found it very helpful and we're going to arrange one in our parish for early next year. (we're in Southampton if that's any help to you!)

Thinking about you and your baby - hang in there.

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Chandra · 21/11/2006 19:24

I don't think they can charge for have mass said, but apreciate a donative. Now, there are plenty of people who ask the congregation to pray for something in particular during the mass, normally you can expect to find paper to write your request and a basket/box for them to be placed at the church office or attrium.. You don't have to sign them or pay anything for that.

Now, I have not been to church in ages, but I don't expect things to have changed much.

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SherlockLGJ · 21/11/2006 19:24

In our parish £10 would be more than enough.

I had a MC and I went to the local hospice and donated some money there and put lights on the Christmas tree. With a message that said for baby LGJ who didn't make it.

I only needed to do it the once, but it gave me closure.


HTH

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cowmad · 21/11/2006 19:25

If this is how you feel,and you want a mass said,then no its not weird/wrong or selfish.
why dont you ask if you can go to see him to talk face to face,and then its a lot easier for him to suggest a sum( as you prob know these are priests extras!) and for you to talk about the "friend" bit!!This is your faith,be comforted in it.dont worry about the fee bit just have a talk.So sorry for your loss.

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jampots · 21/11/2006 19:29

Im a catholic although dont go to church and wouldnt hesitate in having a mass said for personal reasons. I would expect to pay £20 or so for such a thing.

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