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Guidance for a Christian

21 replies

BictoriaVeckham · 30/03/2015 09:24

I feel a little lost at the moment with my faith. Back ground - brought up c of e but not taken seriously until recently (3 months) Trying to read the Bible but I don't feel connected to it, or mostly, I struggle to understand it. Eg reading chapters but not retaining the info.

I'm enjoying Sunday service and I pray (in my head not out loud) but I feel like everyone knows more than me; can quote the word etc

generally, when I'm at church I'm alive and really feel and connect with my faith; but away from it makes me feel really dense, anxious and unconnected.

Is there such a thing as a Christian mentor? Would bible study help me? I feel really thick sometimes and it's making me anxious (which I'm sure faith shouldn't be). I have spoken to the Reverend previously and he was so kind and helpful but I don't want to "put" on him with silly questions or musings.

Sorry, a mis mash post of my feelings Blush.

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thegreenheartofmanyroundabouts · 30/03/2015 10:03

As a reverend I would say that silly questions and musings are great so go ask. There is the knowing about stuff that is part of Christianity and the site //www.rejeus.co.uk is good for the basics. As someone who is dyslexic I really struggle with chapter and verse numbers so even as a vicar I don't quote them as I can only remember 'somewhere in the middle of the Gospel of John' which is a bit sad but the way my brain works. Is there a prayer group or home group where you could join and learn a bit whilst making friendships?

Christianity isn't all about learning stuff so the prayer side is important. There might be a wise person in the church who can help you or maybe try the spiritual director's network but your minister would probably have some idea who might be able to help here.

Hope that helps.

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thegreenheartofmanyroundabouts · 30/03/2015 10:04

//www.rejesus.co.uk

I said I was dyslexic didn't I!!

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Tollygunge · 30/03/2015 10:20

Alpha course?

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Housemum · 30/03/2015 10:38

I know of very few people who go round Dot Cotton-style quoting chapter and verse, I think that's more an older generation who were brought up that way (in the same way that I remember lines from school plays of 30+ years ago!)

Look at the newsletters of your local churches - see if there are any home groups/discussion groups etc. As Tolly mentioned, Alpha is another possibility. (Although I don't like the presenter myself - and a couple of his videos were loooonnngg!)

I feel like there is a whole load of stuff that I don't know, but it's just a case of looking out for anything you can pick up here and there as you go.

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BictoriaVeckham · 30/03/2015 20:29

thegreenheart thank you for your reply. I'm dyslexic too and I didn't want to use it as an excuse (it hasn't held me back so far in life) but I had wondered previously if it was because of this. I used to struggle with English language reading, old texts like Shakesphere et al, and I find the Bible like this too. I should speak to the vicar, he's been so lovely and welcoming to me and even prayed for me the other week when things were getting too much at work / home / life - he spotted I wasn't right and sort me out to check. He was lovely and I don't know why I feel embarrassed about talking to him, probably because it's not like me to let my guard down with actual people. The website looks good too, I will have a further look.

Tolly I had considered this a long time ago but didn't act up on it. I don't believe our vicar has one running in the area, but I could travel to the next town.

Housemum it feels in my Church (and they're lovely) that they do know chapter and verse. I'm one if not the only 'young' person there and I'm early 30's. I did a Lent Course over the last 4 weeks and really enjoyed it but it was obvious to me that I didn't know things that I felt I should have. No one made me feel silly, if anything they educated me and let me listen without putting me on the spot asking me my opinion. But I felt silly not knowing. I started reading more (following a basic reading course following Jesus life and death) but then the following week, some people linked back to the Old Testament and it threw me off track again (that's the dyslexia part I think, following 2/3 different stories is impossible). It's like I feel I need to know all of the Gospels and all of the Old Testament in 24 hours! If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been a Christian? And when did you feel you were knowledgable at being "Christian" in terms of the Bible / Word?

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capsium · 31/03/2015 07:41

Another thing which might help is the Bible Gateway website. They have lots of different translations of the Bible - some are in much more modern English, such as The Living Bible.

There are also articles and Devotionals on there which you can read.

www.biblegateway.com/

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FishWithABicycle · 31/03/2015 08:01

It's ok not to be particularly into complex theological thought, quoting verses, etc. You don't need to be able to do this to be a christian. Here's one verse you can ponder: "I am resolved to know nothing, except Christ Jesus and Him crucified" - I can never quote chapter and verse and when I can remember a verse here or there half the time I worry that I probably got half of it wrong. But that doesn't matter.

The "christian mentor" idea is usually called a "spiritual director" and it may well be something you could find helpful. However, if you find a good one they will probably focus on helping you to feel ok about taking your spiritual journey through life at a pace and in a style that works for you. This would be more helpful to you than trying to tutor you into being able to quote half the bible on demand, which is unnecessary for spiritual health.

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Fugacity · 31/03/2015 08:24

A home group is what you need, but I know it can be hard to join if you don't feel confident of your bible knowledge and also the basic tenets of the Christian Faith.

Might I recommend some easy reading to get you up to speed?

The Lion Children's bible is a great way to speed read through the main events and stories in the Old and New Testaments.

Then there is a book written by Nicky Gumbel (HTB/Alpha) called 30 Days (or something like that). It takes you through 30 key passages, and explains them.

Another good way to get involved in church is to do something less spiritual, such as the coffee rota. This can be a great place to start your Christian journey, and you might even meet a future mentor right there.

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LadyCassandra · 31/03/2015 11:35

I would recommend E100 which is by Scripture Union. It's a 100 day devotion which goes through the bible using short passages and a short essay afterwards explaining the meaning and how it relates to Jesus. There is also a realy good book called "God's Big Picture" which we studied in our small group last year. It's great to help you work out how it all fits together.
I know what you mean about feeling like everyone knows more than you but it is a lifelong process and everyone has been where you are now. I also agree that serving is a good way to get some perspective, you usually find that when you help out with stuff you get more out of it than you expect.

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Housemum · 31/03/2015 12:17

Hi Bictoria I was brought up C of E, went to a C of E primary, so covered the simple stuff back then. As an adult I went back to a C of E church for a few years but to be honest it felt a bit like a middle class social club (that particular church). There were a lot of hand-wringers (the sort of person that if you see a TV show will be the church-goer, very doormat like) and then a new vicar came in who liked the idea of flag waving. Not my thing at all, as a child I went to a very traditional church. I ended up becoming a Catholic about 3 years ago and am very much behind all the "cradle Catholics" who know all these specific prayers by heart because they learned them at school. I make no apologies for the fact that I don't know a lot of things, and I like the fact that when I go to talks (we recently had a DVD series that we watched and talked about each week) I can still have a viewpoint about the basic message/things we learned on the DVD and they can add things that I haven't heard of. When I am not there, I sometimes get huge doubts and wonder what is it all about/is this right/am I barking mad to believe in this but the more I go the more I feel that it is "right" somehow and I figure that everything else will just come in due course. I feel very envious of one lovely lady, she is a Eucharistic Minister there, and when the priest lifts the Blessed Sacrament I can see the look on her face and wish I could know what she feels. Sorry, long waffling post there, hard to put into words what I mean.

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BictoriaVeckham · 31/03/2015 21:35

Thank you so much cap fish & lady - some wonderful encouragement and words for me to think about. Really genuinely appreciate the replies.

fug you've struck a chord by using the phrase don't feel confident of your bible knowledge and also the basic tenets of the Christian Faith. that's exactly it that puts me off. What if they ask me things that I just don't know!?

housemum thanks for responding with your history. I too was brought up C of E but not practiced. I definitely feel when I'm not at the Lent group or church, I doubt and wonder what is right / wrong etc, so can relate to what you're saying here.

Again, thanks. This thread has really helped me.

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capsium · 31/03/2015 21:47

You're welcome, Bictoria Smile.

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FaithLoveandHope · 03/04/2015 20:38

Hi Bictoria I've no real advice really but wanted to let you know you're not alone. I became a christian just over two years ago and I still feel pretty lost with the bible. When I first started going to church I joined a house group but it felt like everyone knew so much more than me and I felt a bit thick. Nobody ever said anything to me, they were all such lovely people, but I felt really anxious and struggled to contribute anything which I thought was useful. I ended up leaving which is a shame but I'm now part of another church and I've not joined a house group again yet. I'm gradually reading the bible (very slowly) but I don't think it's essential to read the whole thing.

Try not to worry about speaking to your vicar. They're usually brilliant with answering what we would deem silly questions and most have a lot of patience with newbies who are interested. My vicar once said to me that no one can be burdened by you unless they let you - in other words, don't feel bad about getting in touch, they reply because they want to, if they didn't want to be answering your "silly" questions then they wouldn't.

Take care and I'll keep you in my prayers :) btw I'm not sure if anyone's mentioned it but it might be good for you to check out and join the prayer thread, the ladies there are fab.

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FaithLoveandHope · 03/04/2015 20:40

Meant to say re praying - nothing wrong with praying in your head. I haven't quite grasped praying out loud yet either. I don't have the confidence to pray in a group but I think that's okay. God hears our thoughts so just making the effort to consciously pray in our heads is good :)

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woodhill · 03/04/2015 20:45

premier Christian radio is very good and bible notes can help

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poocatcherchampion · 03/04/2015 20:55

This is an interesting thread.

Our church is very bible based and 5 years in I still feel none the wiser about a lot of the bible. It helped that as I have got to know people I find that they dont all do bible study/listen well to the sermons etc - just like normal people :)

Re praying I figured that out by praying to my children.

That feels comfortable.

I dont worry too much any more, I am just pleased that I am involved.

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cheapskatemum · 04/04/2015 21:11

Hi! I found The Bible in One Year (BiOY) a great way of getting into the Bible. It's an online resource which can be found on the Holy Trinity Brompton (HTB) website - that's where Alpha originated from as well. By clicking in the right places you can get 3 passages from the Bible emailed to you each day for a year. They are on a theme and there's an introduction to lead you into the theme. Also, each Bible passage has a commentary which explains it. BibleGateway, which someone mentioned upthread, is where the Bible passages come from, so you can click on the different translations/versions to see which one you understand best. If you keep it up and read all of every day's email, you will have read the Bible in one year, but I suspect I'm not the only one who hasn't managed this! Actually, I think if, in your first year at it, you just read the intro, 1st passage (often from Psalms, or Proverbs) or 2nd passage (from the New Testament) and commentary, it's a good introduction. I'm now into my 2nd year at it. Oh and it's all free.

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cheapskatemum · 04/04/2015 21:12

Having said all that, above, I also love it when someone has a unique and individual interpretation of The Bible, because they are looking at it afresh.

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jellymaker · 04/04/2015 21:24

Maybe try listening to some people teaching the bible online. All the big london churches put there sermons online e.g. all souls langham place, st Helens. Or check out some of the American pastors. I love Rick Warren and joyce meyer. There is loads, on the internet beyond the c of e. All focused on you growing in your faith.

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woodhill · 04/04/2015 22:27

Joyce is great once you get used to her voice

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BictoriaVeckham · 05/04/2015 07:47

Lots more replies, thank you everyone.

I'm really touched by the advice and reassurances; definitely going to worry less about the Bible.

I'm following a reading plan which is in the Bible and thats useful just need to do it daily

The pp who mentioned Christian Radio, I listen to to UCB inspirational (love it) in my car to and from work. I find this great "down time" from busy work / life but also a brilliant time to pray and consider my day ahead or the day I just had. It has changed my car journeys some what!

Lots to look at online. Have found rejesus website very useful.

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