My life story...:( . I am thankful to Almighty for leading me safely throug very challenging times of my life. I am grateful for two beautiful angels I have(DD's) and DH. But something is bothering me a lot...
I had a boyfriend (1 yr dating) when I was 17. I was madly in love and he was everything you could wish for..... Smart, kind , good , hardworking... But as always happens, I got scarred of big commitment and I left him. I left him with such a harsh words :( . He was 7 yrs older and my DM knew him and his family( small place).
Soon after I came here to UK and shortly after that I met my dh , got married and I have two DD's.
The thing is , I can't take him out of my mind. He is in my heart and my mind. I torture myself thinking of him. I pray before I go to sleep that I dream about him..:( .
It's bad, it's realy bad. He is married and have two kids. Not being bad, but he never dated her , he was seing her for few weeks and purposly or not , she got pregnant and he married her. I heard from my BF that he was saying that he didn't want to marry but custom back home ( Croatia) basically you have to marry. Now not so much but 15 yrs ago it's a norm. Stupid I know but thats how it is..:(
Even last night , when the bell rang midnight my heart flew to him.. I feel as if I am cheating dh. Can't stop myself. I need strength to burry this feelings and memories of him. He is my secret but it's becoming too heavy on my heart. I love him and lust him so much..
Pls tell me how to let it go? How to forget him and not want him? I pray everyday for dear Almighy lead me in a right path but I can't stop myself.
I didn't see him since I a was 18 and i am now mid 30is.
Please, don't judge me. It's something stronger than me... Thank you
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Pls help me to see the light...
8 replies
PhdCopy · 01/01/2014 16:08
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