Need to find a church, gay friendly, Watford.

(37 Posts)
MrsGumboots Thu 17-Oct-13 14:46:30

My faith is very important to me, and also to my new partner. Who happens to be a woman too shock. We are no longer welcome at the church we went to hmm, and where we met. But we are finding it hard to find a church. We would prefer a church in Watford, but are happy to travel a little. Trying one this sunday it sounds like its mostly old people....... anyone help? sad

Yougotbale Thu 17-Oct-13 15:32:26

Why would you want to continue with a homophobic faith?

GingerCurl Thu 17-Oct-13 15:38:36

I have no idea, but maybe this website could help you, although I can see that there is no listed church in Watford?
changingattitude.org.uk/find-a-church

Alternatively, perhaps the minister/vicar in one of the listed churches might be able to help you? I don't know how often ththe site is updated and perhaps they might know of a church that has not been listed yet?

I hope you'll find a somewhere soon.

niminypiminy Thu 17-Oct-13 18:52:30

You could try Inclusive Church's directory. Or if you can get to St Albans the dean of the cathedral is Jeffrey John (well known as a gay man).

MrsGumboots Fri 18-Oct-13 11:16:08

Thanks guys. Yougotbale, we just think the church is behind the times and will get there eventually. If everyone leaves who does not find themselves wholly catered for then why should they change? Someone needs to stay and help them to change. It is worth fighting for in our opinion.

Here is a list of clergy in London who signed a letter to The Times last year in support of civil partnerships so all of these churches will be gay friendly. I recognise the names of some clergy I know to be gay in that list. I don't know London well enough to know if any of these churches are near Watford.

http://changingattitude.org.uk/archives/5092

Yougotbale Fri 18-Oct-13 11:39:50

OP - the BNP are behind the times too. The church is oppressing you for your sexuality, also because you are a woman.
If a company was homophobic you wouldn't continue to buy their product and ride it out. You would boycott it and try to get as many people to join you. If numbers dwindle they will soon start looking at their philosophies or sell the church to a wine bar company.

Yougotbale Fri 18-Oct-13 11:59:06

Plus, it's not just a homophobic company selling a product. It's a homophobic institution, actively preaching homophobia and coming up with damaging and nonsensical reasons for this.

niminypiminy Fri 18-Oct-13 12:06:46

Yougotbale, that's not right. Not all churches are the same. There are churches in the town that I live in which actively welcome LGBT people (sadly, it's not near Watford so no help to the OP). I think we have to respect the OP's point of view -- she's a Christian and she's gay and she wants to find a church to worship in. Why are you so concerned to convert her?

Yougotbale Fri 18-Oct-13 13:19:18

I'm not keen for to do anything. Christianity is homophobic at its heart. If churches feel they have the power to pick and chose what is correct, then it makes me think anything can be left out or disregarded. It doesn't really give any of the philosophy any weight, in my opinion.

Homophobia is discusting and any institution that is associated with it doesn't deserve the time of day. Particularly the time of a homosexual.

Non whites could join the BNP but I would question it.

niminypiminy Fri 18-Oct-13 17:20:37

I'm sorry, it's hard to reply to that because it's not clearly enough written for me to understand what you mean.

Yougotbale Fri 18-Oct-13 17:23:20

Sorry. I am dyslexic. What do you want me to explain?

Yougotbale Fri 18-Oct-13 17:34:04

Nim - hope this is better.
I'm not keen for the OP to do anything. Christianity is homophobic at its heart. If churches feel they have the power to pick and chose, and decide what is correct, then it makes me think any part can be left out or disregarded. It doesn't really give any of the Christian philosophy any weight, in my opinion.

Homophobia is discusting and any institution that is associated with it doesn't deserve the time of day. Particularly the time of a homosexual.

Non whites could join the BNP but I would question it. If advise against a non-white joining the BNP, even if they liked the party's policy on the NHS.

Yougotbale Fri 18-Oct-13 17:35:19

I'd (instead of if)

Soul Survivor should be a liberal church in Watford.

I've only been twice but it seemed like a cheerful place smile

niminypiminy Fri 18-Oct-13 17:41:09

I think I see what you mean. But you're wrong. Christianity has Jesus at its heart, and Jesus didn't ever say anything about sex. And as a non-Christian you just don't get to say whether the church is picking and choosing in terms of its doctrine. You can make comments from outside, you can not believe, but you can't say what is and what isn't at the centre of Christianity.

Yougotbale Fri 18-Oct-13 17:58:33

Nim - thank you for granting me freedom of speech. So the religion is pro homosexuality? Probably wouldn't need a thread like this then would you? People that attend these homophobic churches are condoning it by proxy.

Yougotbale Fri 18-Oct-13 18:01:08

I can observe the church picking and choosing though

FantasticDay Fri 18-Oct-13 18:05:38

Is there a Quaker meeting house or Unitarian congregation near you? They are both vocal in support of same sex marriage etc?

prairiegirl81 Fri 18-Oct-13 18:40:51

MrsGumboots, I don't know Watford really, but I am aware of an Anglican (C of E) Church that is inclusive and would welcome you and your partner. Perhaps you might like to check it out one Sunday. I have no idea of the age/make up of the congregation.

standrewswatford.org.uk/

I also knew someone a few years ago who went to Soul Survivor; she is gay, but I don't know if she was 'out' at church or not. She did like it though and was a member for several years.

FantasticDay mentioned the Quakers and Unitarians. Although not perhaps as Christian as you would like or are used to, they both have congregations in Watford:

www.watfordquakers.org.uk/

www.ukunitarians.org.uk/watford/

I hope you both find what you're looking for and I'm so sorry your previous church has ostracised you in this way. x

prairiegirl81 Fri 18-Oct-13 18:45:21

Ooops, and I forgot to mention this church as well, also Anglican. It looks quite 'High Church' but also openly professes its inclusivity:

www.saintjohnswatford.org.uk/index.html

DioneTheDiabolist Fri 18-Oct-13 19:23:28

Was going to say "Jesus didn't say anything about homosexuality", but Niminy beat me to it.smile

You, the whole of our society was (and to quite an extent still is) homophobic and sexist at heart. I love to see these challenged. The OP is free to challenge and try to change these outdated notions wherever and however she choses. Obviously she does not see Christianity as incompatible to the rights of women and gay people (and she is far from alone) so why should she allow the prejudices of some to deny her something she considers important?

Coupon Fri 18-Oct-13 21:00:53

Christianity isn't homophobic, Yougotbale. Christianity is following Jesus, not going along with everything an institution says. Christianity and church (a community of other Christians) are just as much the OP's as anyone else's. Why should all the tolerant Christians have to give up church and leave it to the closed-minded?

Rosieres Fri 18-Oct-13 22:50:16

I wonder what governs one set of inclinations being acceptable and another not?

I think it's fine if someone is gay and wishes to openly live their life that way. I think it's fine if someone is spiritual/religious and wishes to openly live their life that way. But why do some people try and police another person's sexuality or religious choices?

Surely when someone posts that they are looking for a church, the most appropriate response is to answer their question, not attack their faith. That's as bad form as launching a homophobic attack on someone who posts that they are gay and want to meet other gay people in their area.

Yougotbale Sat 19-Oct-13 00:07:42

Coupon - you said : Christianity isn't homophobic, Yougotbale.

I think it is, I think you'd be deluded to think it isn't. Maybe I'm wrong.....Christianity start with gay marriage and only recently allowed hetero marriage. Sorry ...... I was supposed to write that on the 'anyone no where there is a straight friendly church' thread.

Rosieres - But why do some people try and police another person's sexuality or religious choices?

Religion is a persons interpretation??? Religious people are trying to police and govern the OP's sexuality and marginalise her for that.

The fact you have said, I think it's fine if someone is gay and wishes to openly live their life that way. I think it's fine if someone is spiritual/religious and wishes to openly live their life that way. Makes me think you don't think it's fine. I could understand you saying that if people were saying it wasn't fine, but they haven't. Have you ever in your life said, 'I think it's fine for someone to live their life openly as a heterosexual if they want'?
It maybe better to answer the question but if a Jewish poster asked me details on a Jewish friendly neo-nazi meet, I'd question it. It's there choice but I'd question it.
Remember that her faith has attacked her. I'm sorry but I don't tend to not get pissed off by discrimination.
You wrote:
That's as bad form as launching a homophobic attack on someone who posts that they are gay and want to meet other gay people in their area.
I don't know where to start with this?!? Firstly it wouldn't be the same. Can you not see there is only one factor in your example 'gay'. Your example would be the same as attacking a Christianity, if a Christian was asking where they could meet Christians.
You also say that 'the most appropriate response' is to answer the question. Do you think it is appropriate to ignore homophobia? What about Sexism?racism?peadophilia?.......I guess you only feel it is appropriate to react to someone commenting on your religion.

Think for yourself. Religion is big enough and ugly enough to look after itself.

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