When nothing seems to work even Prayer... i have tried

(12 Posts)
buthow Wed 07-Aug-13 06:20:42

Yah basically tht. I need strength. I prayed to God for a husband I prayed for financial break through or a job I asked him, I have prayed so hard fasted spoke faith filled words. Slept in the streets but woke up in the cold to say God I know tht you are for me but the answer I got was unwanted pregnancy w a fellow christian who left me. Still No job No money. Mum needs help financially and I feel helpless. Why is he so silent at least a sign good dreams God saying something will keep me going but if its just so quiet my faith gets attacked.

Now I pray for one of 3 my baby daddy to come back and help me or a good job or financial break through. But its quiet infact its worse I can't help but worry. Worry abt my baby. Can't God just answer my prayers just one at least what am I doing so wrong and why all the rejection

Gingerdodger Wed 07-Aug-13 07:28:36

I am sorry that prayer does not seem to be working and you are having such a difficult time.

Perhaps the answers may be in some practical help. Could your church or another religious establishment offer some support? Or a charity? God will be working through all those things.

I hope and pray for you and your difficulties and that God points you to the help you need.

VegPatchLurker Wed 07-Aug-13 07:33:04

You will have more success taking responsibility yourself.
Look for small steps you can take to make things better and take them.
Best of luck.

I'm worried about what you seem to be saying - do you mean that you deliberately slept on the streets in order to "pray", and that you are fasting a lot? I don't think God would want you to do those things, specially with a baby to think about.

God is not a "slot-machine" that gives us what we ask for if we do things "just right". Prayer is fine as an "add-on" to sorting our own lives out, but it's not an alternative. Praying to God for a husband doesn't mean he will just gift-wrap someone for you - you have to go out and start relationships, and make the effort yourself. And there are still no guarantees.

And, I'm sorry that you had an unwanted pregnancy, but that was not God's deliberate answer - that was a result of unprotected sex or contraceptive faillure. These things happen, but not because God makes them happen.

While you are praying, are you also taking practical steps? Make sure you talk to advisors to make sure you are getting the benefits you are entitled to. Give them the details of your baby's father so that he can be pushed into paying maintenance. Get your mum to seek the same kind of advice. If the benefits people themselves aren't much help, look around for charities that might provide advice and guidance, maybe through your church or CAB.

You're obviously going through a rough time, and I wish you well. But you do need to make things happen for yourself.

Tuo Wed 07-Aug-13 09:05:27

buthow - I am sorry that you are going through this terrible time and I remembered you from your previous thread. As other posters there pointed out, and as AMIS has just said, you really need practical advice and support at this time. I understand that you feel let down by your church, but I hope that there are other places where you can turn, whether that's to a different church, to a charity, to your local authorities, or whoever. Don't forget that God works through the world to answer our prayers, even sometimes (often?) in ways that we don't expect and in places where we're not looking for Him. This clip illustrates this really nicely... Please, buthow, look for the help that's out there and accept it.

stressedHEmum Wed 07-Aug-13 10:23:14

buthow, I'm really quite worried by your post and I totally agree with AMIS.

God isn't there to just take control of our lives. We have to take responsibility for ourselves. Prayer helps and it can give us the peace and courage to face what's in our lives, but it's not a magic wand. If we want a husband or to improve our marriage, we should pray about it, yes, but we also need to take practical steps towards those things. If we have money worries, prayer helps again, but it doesn't produce money, we have to make decisions and take action.

I speak from a whole lifetime of experience; of sexual abuse, of disordered eating and alcohol problems, of 2 abusive marriages , of homelessness and poverty, of single parenthood, of a husband who left me pregnant and with a toddler, of raising several autistic children, of an alcoholic, drug addicted, completely abusive husband. So I do understand how you might be feeling, honestly I do. In each of these situations, I prayed and prayed and prayed, but I had to take action for myself as well. God supported me in the actions that I took, by giving me strength, courage and peace and the ability to cope as best I could, but he didn't fix things for me. I had to do that for myself.

Pleaes, buthow, try to take some positive steps for yourself, Talk to someone about your finances and all the other stuff. But, most importantly, please, please talk to someone about how you are feeling and what has happened to you. You need support in the world, not just spiritually.

buthow Wed 07-Aug-13 18:31:48

Thankyou so much I'm at tht tym were life is hard for me its very tough

Gingerdodger my church failed me. My pastor wasn't there wen I went for help. Most of these churches want pple to gv mny they hardly help w mny. I thnk SA is jus full of struggling pple u go ask for help u r just an addition to unsolved problems u r mostly judged thn helped

VegPatchLurker true I hv accepted tht I'm to blame too I do take responsibility for my actions having bby was jus worse but I trully ddnt thnk it will turn out ths bad

AMumInScotland it wasn't by choice my frend was tired of buying food on her own so she hd put me out I hd slept out for 3days coz my mum is far n gng bk home broke knowing the situation was hard. I know I dd wrong but ths guy hd liked me for so long and I was so hungry n cold tht day I went to him I needed a warm meal a warm bath and warm blankets he was understanding wen I knocked at his door n tld him my story he ddnt touch me tht very night I thnk it was e 3rd night tht he slept w me I asked him mny tyms to put the condom but he wouldn't stop. I felt miserable and disgusted after tht it wasn't easy but I left tht very day went bk to my frend n pleaded w her somehow I thnk there God intervened coz she seemed to hv bn feeling bad abt puting me out in e 1st place (long story) but it wasn't intetional I was so tired thts y I went to him

Tuo I dnt know if u saw my post updating abt wat the police hd sd wen I went for help anyway free social services are scarce here the minute u tok of suffering n u pregnant pple judge u sometimes I keep away n choose to suffer coz I dnt wana b judged thus y I haven't spoken to any one in person pple re too busy w their own staff to gv an ear its not easy hey

stressedHEmum seems u hv had rough times too but u came out of it tht is y I believe I will too u r ok w yo kids now right? So I will be ok too tough times cum n go right they dnt last forever n sone sd sometimes wen pregnant u hv bad luck I dnt know if its true but my life has nvr bn ths hard so it has to pass it has to change

Truly I know it sounds I'm reckless but I dnt know how I got here my self. I dnt understand how I fell pregnant so fast for a heartless man it happened only once n I felt God was supposed to protect me coz I prayed but I hd wat u all advised thankyou so much

stressedHEmum Wed 07-Aug-13 18:54:24

buthow, we are fine now - still poor and struggling, but stable and happy. I thank God every day for all the blessings in my life.

I know it seems so hard and unfair, and that you wonder what you can possibly have done to deserve all the bad things, but it will get better. You just have to keep believing that and having the courage to work towards it.

buthow Wed 07-Aug-13 19:59:21

Thankyou so much stressedHEmum I'm encouraged

Tuo Wed 07-Aug-13 21:09:54

buthow - I'm sorry, I didn't read your most recent posts. I saw your thread as I was rushing out to work, remembered your previous one, and wanted to post but didn't have time to read back in detail, so I apologise wholeheartedly if my post of this morning was insensitive. I hope and pray that you can find someone you feel able to talk to, someone you can trust not to judge you. I wish I knew more about your country, because I really don't know what to advise you, but pray that you find some way to access the help you need. I shall keep you in my prayers, but urge you to keep seeking that practical help, whether with a church or a charity or via the authorities.

buthow Thu 08-Aug-13 05:44:36

Tuo no dear u were not insensitive at all u were kind n caring. All the responces I got were warm I felt like not everybody doesn't care there re some pple who show care jus by their words even if they are and cnt reach u,thankyou u dnt know how beter I feel wen pple seem to care n not judge me

springytooty Sun 11-Aug-13 14:26:37

Prayer does 'work' you know, it really does. Not like magic ie not necessarily at that moment - though sometimes it does. Prayer is like watering a plant with the very best stuff and, at some point, it bears fruit. It really does. Hold on; wait - but be getting on with stuff iyswim - and the fruits will become apparent at some stage. His arm is not too short to save, he isn't a meany. He is lovely and whatever he does (or doesn't do) is in your best interests. (Though him being apparently tardy can be cause for some erm straightforward convos with him imo)

ime of very bad times, it has been general kindness that has buoyed me up. A surprisingly tiny bit of it is enough to keep me afloat iyswim; helping me to face another day flowers

I'm going to quote something I read in a lovely daily devotions book called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. This one if for August 6 (try to get hold of this book if you can):

When things seem to be going all wrong, stop and affirm your trust in Me. Calmly bring these matters to Me, and leave them in My capable hands. Then, simply do the next thing. Stay in touch with Me through thankful, trusting prayers, resting in My sovereign control. Rejoice in Me - exult in the God of your salvation! As you trust in Me, I make your feet like the feet of a deer. I enable you to walk and make progress upon your high place of trouble, suffering, or responsibility.

(Job 13:15 [New King James Version]; Psalm 18:33; Habakkuk 3:17-19 [Amplified Bible])

Ps not sure about the 'calm' ie 'calmly bring these matters to Me' but it's something to aim for iyswim wink

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