I am very confused about a friend's sudden treatment of me.

(18 Posts)
1944girl Sun 28-Jul-13 22:11:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

1944girl Sun 28-Jul-13 22:13:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

celticclan Sun 28-Jul-13 22:28:10

Well she doesn't sound like much of a friend. I think you need to confront her, tell her that her behaviour towards you is upsetting and ask her what the problem is.

1944girl Sun 28-Jul-13 23:54:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claig Mon 29-Jul-13 00:54:53

I think she is jealous of you. I think she also feels a bit silly and exposed about telling you her views about female clergy now that you are becoming a Eucharistic minister. It sounds like she may be angry at herself for opening up about that and exposing herself and is taking her anger out on you.

Good luck with sorting it out.

claig Mon 29-Jul-13 01:01:00

She is probably jealous about the PPI payment too, particularly if it is a large payment, and couldn't help her negative feelings from coming out.

claig Mon 29-Jul-13 01:09:04

"She started to help out at the RCIA after her conversion but dropped out of the group because of issues she was having with other leaders, including the priest."

It also sounds like she does not get on with other people as well as you do, which is another thing that is bugging her and making her envious of you.

'Sometimes I tell her about it(my DGD's behaviour) and she has been quite negative about it, saying I should cheer up and enjoy life and stop moaning.'
That sounds possibly like projection of her own problems and feelings and also a sense of not wanting to help and share which is probably due to her own unhappiness.

At the end of the day, it seems that her behaviour is to do with her own inadequacies and bitterness at those inadequacies, and they are heightened when she compares herself to you.

WafflyVersatile Mon 29-Jul-13 01:13:50

Well from her point of view she joined the church because of these issues she has with female roles in the church. You helped her with her conversion. Now you have taken on a role that she disapproves of women taking in the church, the very person who assisted and encouraged her conversion. She probably thought you shared her views and now feels betrayed.

only you can decide if your god approves of your role in the church. If you are confident that this is the case then that's fine.

Then you have to think whether you deceived her in any way about your own views when assisting her to convert. Perhaps you are owe her an apology even if you did nothing intentionally. But if she feels the friendship is no longer then that is her prerogative.

Being hostile to you for other matters isn't justified in my view.

Monty27 Mon 29-Jul-13 01:19:42

I'd tell her to get 'knotted', frankly. Silly cow. (Don's hard hat).

1944girl Mon 29-Jul-13 14:29:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

1944girl Tue 30-Jul-13 00:09:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cloutiedumpling Thu 01-Aug-13 13:40:01

I wouldn't confront her. I'd just find someone else to have coffee with. Sometimes friendships run their course and it might be that this one will fizzle out.

1944girl Thu 01-Aug-13 19:33:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WafflyVersatile Thu 01-Aug-13 19:53:21

I think you're right.

marmiteandhoney Thu 01-Aug-13 22:20:16

Apologies. We (the CofE) seemed to send you (RC) some of our most prickly and difficult people in the ordinariate/over women priests+bishops. I'm sure some of them are lovely, but I know of quite a few who are very difficult humans indeed.

1944girl Fri 02-Aug-13 01:11:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

springytoofs Thu 15-Aug-13 11:36:09

This sounds like bullying to me - nay, persecution if she's hunting you down re the PPI. Mental health/personality disorder(s)? As this is a christian thread, I would be wondering about a spiritual disorder too re she seems to have a hatred for women.

Nothing to do with you, of course. Shocking, though, when you thought someone was your friend (I can't count how many wierdos I meet in the church tbf lol. Some clearly think I am too. Gotta laff)

I do commiserate, though, with the shock. I had what I thought was a dear, old friend suddenly turn on me in a fundamentalist blast, rubbishing me to the floor. The shock was immense. It couldn't have hurt more if she'd actually physically beaten me up. It was abuse - and what this woman has done to you is abuse.

Maybe it's spiritual stuff? <taps nose>

1944girl Thu 15-Aug-13 20:01:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now