All of those who have been 'called' to ministry or jobs.....

[Pudmog]

how did you know? How did your calling manifest itself and how did you deal with it? Personal I know- but am intrigued to know!


Will explain later- hungry toddler needs feeding!!

[nearlythree]

This is a difficult one for me, as I felt I had a calling but have now decided that it's not what I thought it was. I decided to give my life to God when I was about 13, then forgot about it. I went through a very rebellious phase later, got married at 21, and generally got on with life, but always felt there was something missing. Around the time of my marriage I started to take my faith seriously again, and at 26 started going to church and was confirmed. It became obvious to me that I needed to devote my life to ministry of some kind, just as I had promised so long ago, but I couldn't see how. At first I thought of training as a counsellor, but that didn't feel right. So I started to study theology whilst I worked things out. I becamse very interested in monasticism, and felt very drawn to that life, but as I am happily married that couldn't be it. I also realised I felt jealous of seeing women in clerical dress. Eventually I discussed thsi twith my priest and he saidthat he had thought I had a vocation to ordained ministry for some time. When a few others agreed, I decided to start the ball rolling for the selection process - and then found out dd1 was on the way. This came as a huge shock and I put everything on hold to concentrate on her. I came to realise that motherhood is a holy vocation in itself, and now believe that this is my first calling, because I woudl have been useless in any ministry had I not experienced parenthood for myself - I don't say this for everyone, but it is true for me.

We now have two dds aged 4 and 2 and ds on the way in the next week or two. For a while I still felt drawn to ordination and, partly as a way of meeting my need to minister, started a pram service in our village. I also write on spiritual parenting.

However, I've also changed my beliefs a lot. I've left the CofE because I am so disillusioned with it - I really am disgusted by the way it seems to actively go against Christ's vision of peace and justice. But I've also changed theologically - I no longer believe in the priesthood for a start, in the sense that I believe anyone can celebrate Holy Communion in their own homes, for example, or baptise their babies in the back garden. I also reject a good deal of the Nicene Creed, or at least coudln't say with any honesty that I really do believe in it. But I still feel called to something and have faith that one day it will be clear what that is - maybe it will be back as an Anglican, but my guess at the moment is that I will end up somewhere like the Unitarians.

I don't know if any of this answers your questions! If you feel drawn to ordination I woudl get some books on women priests to have a look at. Also, talk to as many people in ministry as you can. Look for opportunities where you can test your calling - I was recommended to try being a volunteer hospital chaplain or prison chaplain, but you might want to help at a Sunday club or summer festival like Greenbelt. There are two books to help you discern yoru calling - 'Live for a Change' is a general book and 'Called or Collared' looks at ordination and its alternatives. Both are by Francis Dewar.

HTH!!!!!!

[MaryBS]

I've applied recently for Reader (Licenced Lay Ministry) training. What happened is a few months back, the vicar spoke out about various ministries that were available in the church. I didn't do anything about it then.

Then I felt a sort of 'nudge' to ask him more about Readers. This was a bit of a surprise to me, and to be honest I couldn't actually recall what he'd said about what they did.

When I did find out, I was horrified! However I prayed and continued to pray, and told God "I wasn't worthy". And I heard a voice in my head saying "not yet, but you will be". And since then, when I get scared at the thought of going through with it, I pray to God and feel a sense of 'fullness', of peace come over me, so that I feel reassured.

More recently, I received a 'nudge' to speak out about the Emmaus study programme. I said to God, you're going to have to give me the skills to do this, because I am not a public speaker. Further, whenever I have spoken in public before (other than reading the lesson), I have been violently ill beforehand, from nerves. Well this time, when I spoke in church, that didn't happen. And I was given a gift that I hadn't had before, the ability to speak in public.
All I know is, if God wants you to do something, He will make it happen....

[Pudmog]

Thank you. It is a really exciting time for me as I know (!) something will happen, sometime. I am currently exploring my options with someone. 3 years ago I was about to apply for readership, but then found i was pregnant with ds1 (baby no 3), so that put everything on hold. Since then there has been a difficult situation at church, where it meant i left for almost a year, despite dh being churchwarden (in interregnum). It was very strange- I never lost faith in God, just people after being on the receiving end of untrue gossip. Anyway to cut a long story short-in that year I have sorted out my past, my head, a dear friend got me back to church and is helping me look at the future. He asked me what my wildest dream would be and my immediate response was to be a hospital chaplain- as in ordained- which shocked me a bit as I am petrified of going to college after such a long time. The preaching thing flips my head but I also believe that if God really wants this to happen, it will and He will equip me.

[MaryBS]

That sounds amazing - and rather like how I feel at the moment too! Good luck and let us know how you get on!

[longwaytogo]

If God calls then that calling doesn't go away unless we say yes. As a teenager I remember people saying to me that i would be a minister but put it on the sidlines thinking no, not me, i'm not good enough. Anyway I got married and my dh had no calling to ministry (or so he said) but for me it just would not go away. Then one night I said to him do you think we will ever be in ministry and he said "YES" That was it from then on in it was a roller coaster of a ride. We entered training college in 96 and were ordained in 98.

Unfortunaltely we have both recently resigned and this breaks my heart. Every Sunday is so damn hard, I feel broken, that i've let God down because when i signed my covenant it was as i thought at the time for life. I know this wasn't Gods no 1 plan but still believe that he has a ministry for me to do, not sure how but when the healing comes then so will God's promt in the right direction as regards ministry.

Just rely upon God and he will show you the way to go. Even if you don't feel worthy or that you have the right gifts if He is calling you then He will equip. There were situations that I felt totally out of my depth dealing with in 8 years of ordained ministry but I always got through, but only when I relied on God. Hope that helps even with the personal waffle in the middle.