While initially I felt so hard-done-by, I have never felt that this was the only life that she will have or the only life that I will have. We will meet again and in a much nicer time and place than this. So it's not actually that God has taken her away forever.
I have a theory that this is the life I chose and that I chose this hardship in order to grow spiritually. And I have grown spiritually since she died, I've had to!
I'm one for talking to God about it. I mean let him have it - all of it, nothing held back. It's a relationship he wants and offers and you've got to be real? this could deepen your relationship with him and he could use you to comfort others in the same situation you are in now.
I'm sorry you're knocked sideways with grief at the moment OP. There is so much pain in this world I don't know how anyone gets through it without him tbh. I haven't directly answered your OP but I do hope you you will be comforted; also the parents and families of the children who have died
I really feel for you it sounds so sad and I suspect I would feel similar in your position. I'm not completely sure how people keep their faith, but I was talking to my gran about this issue the other day - her teenage brother was killed in a car crash, her son died of cancer as a child...I asked her how she had managed to maintain her faith and optimism, and although she couldn't answer exactly she did say that she had 'never' lost her faith (optimism probably a different matter), which I found heartening. I suspect she takes something of a 'footprints in the sand' view though.
I found this article which I read the other day interesting too:
I never think it is in the least bit helpful to talk about 'God's plan' and 'God's will' with these things. I myself cannot reconcile children suffering and dying with my God's will at all. I think TUO put it so well and I can't put it any better. Suffering can't be explained, it is somehow part and consequence of a fallen world and choice but it is there and cannot be ignored or tritely put down to a plan we don't know about.
I think God cries too and suffers with those children and with their loved ones. That's all I can hold on to sometimes.
I felt this way after the death of my little cousin aged 5 almost a decade ago (gosh, it doesn't feel like that long). At her funeral all the references to God's unknown plan which should have given me comfort just made me angry and seemed cruel. I stopped going to church very much for quite a few years. It just seemed so unjust that God hadn't answered our prayers in the way that we wanted Him to.
I don't honestly know how or when I stopped feeling like this and turned to God for comfort again and got back into a Christian community. All I know is that as time went on I stopped feeling angry, only sad, and I stopped expecting God to do what I wanted at all times or thinking anything sad was an injustice. And I feel a lot better now. Just had two miscarriages but feel no resentment, only comfort, from prayer.
I'm so sorry you and these children's parents and families are going through such agonising losses. The utter grief never goes away, but it does get better.
Don't put pressure on yourself but try to keep your heart open to God and I will pray He gives you healing and hope.
I am so sorry to hear of these losses, CUAT, and I wish so much that there was something comforting that I could say. I am not sure that I am going to be able to say anything that helps you, but I didn't want your post to go unanswered, and I will be thinking of you and hoping that someone wiser than me comes along in the morning (it's often pretty quiet on this part of the site in the evenings).
My own take on this is that God doesn't make bad (or good, for that matter) things happen. If he did, we'd be no more than puppets in His hands, and that is not how I understand the relationship - a relationship based on free will - between God and His creation to work. That doesn't mean for me that God is not in the world or that He doesn't share our suffering. The point (or one of the points) of the Incarnation is, I think, that Christ - God - suffers like us, with us, and for us.
I really hope that doesn't sound trite. I have seen, in recent years, the awful pain caused by the untimely deaths of young people, and I truly feel for you. In such circumstances I think it's probably entirely normal to doubt God, to be angry with God, to feel let down by Him, and you probably need, at this time, to let yourself have those feelings and to explore them, on here or IRL, with people who understand.
I wish I could say something more helpful, but in the meantime, know that I am thinking of you and am truly sorry for your losses.
I have name changed. I am a catholic. Was raised this way and sort of go to church out of habit. But I do - or rather did - believe in god. I felt I could understand things but now I am not so sure.
In a few days I am going to the funeral of a child. I went to the funeral of another child six weeks ago. The circumstances of each death involved pain, suffering, just really pointless. Why did this happen? I can not comprehend why this has happened? Why would god do this to good people? Has anyone else experienced something simmilar? I would like to hear what others have done in my situation.