Am I going to rehome my Labrador?

(46 Posts)
AlwaysMeanWellOftenWrong Thu 10-Jun-10 20:29:29

I am torn.

He is the perfect dog, no problems. I have 2 children 3 and 6mths. I struggle to find the time/energy to walk him sufficiently and I feel we are not offering him the wonderful love filled home he deserves - all my energy and love is splashed on the kids leaving a quick pet or rushed walk here and there.

My husband does not want the hassle any more either, he says it is up to me though. We both love him, but just cannot afford him the time to make his life fulfilled.

I probably spend 10 - 15 mins with him per day. The rest his is out in the garden or on his 2 x 20 min walks.

We used to walk for hours each day/evening after work - at weekends we would go hill walking for hours. He jumped in rivers, lakes and chased his ball in the fields. Now, he survives.

But I love him so much. I find it very difficult to let him go. How selfish am I. I have booked him a place at a Labrador rescue centre, I am just waiting for a phone call. The wait is making me chicken out for the third time this year.

mjinhiding Thu 10-Jun-10 22:29:24

Message withdrawn

kid Thu 10-Jun-10 22:31:05

Really pleased you seem to have decided to keep him.
Giving him up would be so hard and you would miss him desperately if he were to go.

AlwaysMeanWellOftenWrong Thu 10-Jun-10 22:31:36

It probably doesn't help that I was cleaning up sloppy poo at 3 am in a power cut the other night - we hve laminate flooring downstairs, but he came upstairs and did it in my sons room on the carpet - !!!!!!!!! who knows why - well i do = he likes to be secure underfoot to poo= it took me over an hour to clean it up by torch light then dawn light.

mjinhiding Thu 10-Jun-10 22:34:23

Message withdrawn

frogetyfrog Thu 10-Jun-10 22:37:05

Well done - I am so pleased you are keeping him. You sound like you really look after him well and it will get easier as kids get older, to get him out etc.

He would find it so hard to adapt to a new home aged 7, let alone being put in kennels which would be so distressing. He could well be heartbroken - in my experience dogs really do love their owners regardless of treatment and miss them terribly.

Chin up - all pets are hard when kids are young.

hatwoman Thu 10-Jun-10 22:38:08

just re-read my post. "pottling" is obviously a cross between pootling and pottering. I think I quite like it grin

our lab sleeps all day btw - as long as he gets an average of about 60-80 mins walk a day, over a week (some days it might only be 30 mins - some it'll by 2 or more hours) he's fine. like I said I think you have given yourself high standards - and if he's showing no stress then I'm sure he's happy with the family he loves.

CrankyTwanky Thu 10-Jun-10 22:41:38

I had to give up my dog when I found myself a single parent in a tiny flat working 12 hour days.

I just couldn't keep her. She's howl all day.

It was the single worst thing that's ever happened in my (and my daughter's) life.(lucky I suppose)
I wish I'd quit my job, in retrospect.

(She was rehomed v. quickly, as she was perfect.smile)

Vallhala Thu 10-Jun-10 22:47:08

I'm so glad you haven't allowed your concerns to break your (and your Lab's) heart. It's clear he's a lucky dog and I wish that there were more out there like you, understanding of the difficulties when your children are little but willing to go the extra mile nonetheless. I am damn sure that although you might curse the weather and the darker nights from time to time, you won't regret your decision.

Just a thought - if you do decide upon having someone to pop in or to look after Mr Lab occasionally, you might find help by asking your local Lab rescue or other rescue if they have any volunteers who might fancy the job. Equally, post on a busy dog rescue type forum such as DogPages or BigGSD (not entirely GSDs, we talk and own other dogs too_. Certainly if you were in my area I'd be delighted to have an extra canine friend, not for money, just for the joy of it. Surely I'm not the only nutter caring person out there?

kid Thu 10-Jun-10 22:49:45

My son is desperate for us to get another dog after our puppy died. Its only been 2 weeks and despite there being no tears from him for several days now, he poured his heart out tonight and set me off all over again sad

People lose their pets through choice (a really hard choice I should add) and through no fault of their own. Either way, its a really horrible situation to be in and to deal with.

Really glad your dog got rehomed quickly CrankyTwanky, she must have been fantastic.

AlwaysMeanWellOftenWrong Thu 10-Jun-10 22:50:08

my dog is not allowed upstairs either ... we have a stair gate but don't need (364 days a year) to use it - he never goes up, he follows the rules. That's why I am shocked he did it!

He used to come upstairs before we had kids. He used to sleep between us on our bed with his head on the pillow! He was, a child substitute. Now we have the real thing.. poor mite. From a pedestal to the garden in just over 3.5 years.

I am a perfectionist. I try to be the perfect mother. Makes sense that I try to be the perfect dog owner. I am probably better than many but beat myself up because I don't meet my own version of good.

OnEdge Thu 10-Jun-10 22:52:24

I have a 3 year old and a one year old and one on the way.

I just rehomed my chocolate lab.

We just moved house, where I used to live, the neighbour walked my dog 3 times a day, so when we moved here I just couldnt keep it up. I looked at her one day and felt sad because she was just sat there waiting hopefully and I couldnt do it.

I was lucky and a freind of mine who loved Scrumpy wanted her, she lives on a farm and walks Scrumpy twice a day and also takes her when she hacks out too. I see Scrumpy whenever I want and she is invited to all our family parties (coming to a BBQ on Saturday)

In the end i did it for her, she now has a much better quality of life and appears very content. (bed in front of Aga) it was very upsetting at the time but I think I did the right thing for everyone.

AlwaysMeanWellOftenWrong Thu 10-Jun-10 22:55:17

onedge - you knew where she was going and who to and you can still see her - if I knew that, I suppose I would do it.

It's the unknown, the never again and the missing him that gets me. I am resolute to be there for him, as I am with the other 3 members of the family, no matter what.

I agree with others that it will get easier. We have a 4mth old cocker spaniel puppy and a 5, 3 and 2yr old. There are times when I have questioned my sanity in getting a puppy grin but we are managing!! My 5yr old will take her out first thing in the morning for a wee. My 2yr old potters around with her in the house and patio while the others are at nursery.

I like it cos it makes us all go out for a walk together most days and at weekends we are going for longer walks. If I've had a really rough day I can escape with her as soon as dh comes home and he has to put dc's to bed while I calm down on a walk/run with Jura.

If the weather is really bad then I will hide treats for her in the house or just throw a ball for her in the living room.

I know what you mean because sometimes I am overwhelmed with the responsibility of being a good dog owner- I want a well behaved, well trained dog! However my friends reassure me that she is pretty good already for a 4mth old pup!!

I agree with others that it will get easier. We have a 4mth old cocker spaniel puppy and a 5, 3 and 2yr old. There are times when I have questioned my sanity in getting a puppy grin but we are managing!! My 5yr old will take her out first thing in the morning for a wee. My 2yr old potters around with her in the house and patio while the others are at nursery.

I like it cos it makes us all go out for a walk together most days and at weekends we are going for longer walks. If I've had a really rough day I can escape with her as soon as dh comes home and he has to put dc's to bed while I calm down on a walk/run with Jura.

If the weather is really bad then I will hide treats for her in the house or just throw a ball for her in the living room.

I know what you mean because sometimes I am overwhelmed with the responsibility of being a good dog owner- I want a well behaved, well trained dog! However my friends reassure me that she is pretty good already for a 4mth old pup!!

slushy06 Fri 11-Jun-10 14:51:55

I have a 9month dd and a 4yo ds. Dp gets up 20minutes early and takes the dog on a twenty minute run. I usually play with him for about a hour (some days it is hard but I make time). Ds gets in from school at 12 and will play with him for a hour. Dp takes him for a second walk at 9.

In the summer I am hoping to take the kids and my dog to the park each day. On the weekend we usually go to a field with a lake nearby and allow ds to run in the field and the dog in the lake we have a great time. It does get easier. Do you walk your eldest to school could you take your dog to?

Here are my priorities:

See to dc.
See to myself.
see to the dog.
Do cleaning. So having a dog ends up making things easier most days I just skip the cleaning grin.

Vallhala Fri 11-Jun-10 14:57:25

Here are my priorities:

See to dogs.

See to dogs.

See to dogs.

slushy06 Fri 11-Jun-10 15:12:52

LOL valhalla, Sadly I can put up with the puppy eyes but not whinging dc grin.

withorwithoutyou Fri 11-Jun-10 15:30:10

Always, my little dog isn't getting as much exercise walk-wise as she usually does as I am heavily pregnant and not able to do long walks at the moment.

She didn't get that much when DD was newborn and I felt terribly guity for it. Then when DD was a few months old we got into the swing of having mammoth 1.5 hour walks with DD in the buggy. It was great for me, gave me a bit of time to think, meant DD slept (terrible napper!) and the dog loved it.

So definitely things could change.

This might sound silly but if your dog likes to chase things you could try a bubble machine? My dog absolutely loves chasing bubbles here
it really wears her out.

Chatelaine Fri 11-Jun-10 15:32:26

Let him go, for his sake. When your children are older then maybe there will be space & time for a dog. You must know by posting, that he could be having a better time of it. I do believe dogs are a life syle choice. Personally I think that unless you have help around the house, for many it's a chore to combine the responsiblilites of dog ownership (and the civic duty of picking up after them) with having very young children.

gillohare Sat 02-Feb-13 20:22:29

awwww, that is so sad, If my husband would let me, i would take him off your hands, we have a 2 year old black labrador who is full of beans and would love a play mate, unfortunately he wont allow me to have another one, sad I really hope you persevere with him, as they are the most loving, loyal dogs of all, Our's is a complete pain in the bum but I wouldn't swap him for all the money in the world. xxx

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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