I have to get rid of my dog .I can't do it anymore.

(40 Posts)
ComeWhineWithMe Mon 19-Jan-09 15:53:31

We have had our dog 2.5 years,we all love him to bits when we get home he had come from a home where he was left alone for quite a while each ever day and this made him anxious it was also the reason she gave him away .With us he would hardly ever be alone certainly not for long periods.

So fast forward to now and the dog is only left alone on school runs and if I go shopping or to the library /friends house in the day .He is well fed ,happy and is walked three times a day and a good long walk once a day .

But whenever I leave him he poos and wees and I can't cope I have a toddler and I am pg it is making me ill ,the vet has checked he is fine ,we have tried putting paper down ,letting him out just before we go out ,leaving him outside (he is safe and warm) but he barks and barks and a neighbour has complained .We even spent loads on one of those plug in 's didn't work ,have also done the leaving music /tv on.

I have just thrown up everywhere after cleaning poo off my bedroom floor ,and wee and poo from the hallway .

There is nothing more I can do I am beginning to resent the dog and do not want a new baby crawling where he has messed I am dreading opening the fromt door to see what he has done this time .

He is a lab cross and is almost 4.

whoingodsnameami Mon 19-Jan-09 15:55:46

I am sure dog training centers can deal with this, its to do with anxiety at being left.

chancelloroftheexCHEQUERS Mon 19-Jan-09 15:55:50

Have you tried crating him?

I sympathise as my dog sometimes pees her bed when she's left alone for short periods. I just chuck it in the washing machine but it is a pain. She started doing it after we had to rehome our other dog, she just doesn't like being alone.

She is crated, so at least the mess is contained in one place. Would this work for your dog?

We crate ours when we leave the house even for a few short minutes and they don't like being in their own mess.

ALso gate off the areas you have carpet so they only mess somewhere where you can easily clean it up - our dog knows if she messes it is nose in it, straight in crate and being ignored while she is suitably sheepish.

georgimama Mon 19-Jan-09 16:01:36

MC - please don't rub a dog's nose in their own mess, that is so unkind.

OP - don't allow your dog in bedrooms etc whilst you are out. You need some advice on pet behaviour, local vet should know of some classes.

ComeWhineWithMe Mon 19-Jan-09 16:02:03

He had a crate it terrified him ,dp took him on a dog training course a year ago the trainer told us after we had been on the course he would stop ....hmm.

I know I am been selfish but when it comes to choosing between my baby and the dog the dog loses ,I have basically tried everything.

I left him in one room ---he ripped up the flooring and pooed everywhere.

I let him have the run of the house while I went on the school run ---- he pooed everywhere .

he poos on dd's bed

he poos in my room.

I can't do it I am fed up of puking I am fed up of somethng as stupid as a dog shitting making me cry.

petrovia Mon 19-Jan-09 16:03:16

I totally sympathise, it must be horrible for you. sad

I'm not sure what to suggest though. Could you afford some training?

petrovia Mon 19-Jan-09 16:03:51

Sorry x posts.

ComeWhineWithMe Mon 19-Jan-09 16:03:51

The way I feel right now I would pay for someone to take him although I will probably feel guilty for saying this in 10 mins .

emkana Mon 19-Jan-09 16:06:26

If I was in your situation I would not hesitate for one minute to find a new home for him.

petrovia Mon 19-Jan-09 16:06:29

He sounds really troubled and it isn't your fault.

Tbh I can understand your feelings and I don't think anyone would blame you for feeling this way.

There might be someone out there who could confidently tackle his behavioural problems, you have tried really hard and not had any luck so maybe it is time to try and find him a suitable, kind new home where he'll be sorted - I know you feel guilty but some things you have to hold your hands up. I'd do the same if I knew he'd be Ok and not put to sleep.

NewAmazingBeginning Mon 19-Jan-09 16:07:19

Call me crazy (and plenty have) but I am wondering if he senses a new baby is coming (or there is something different going on) and he feels insecure?

ComeWhineWithMe Mon 19-Jan-09 16:08:44

I am angry with the person who we took him off because she said it was only if we left him for hours on end (like she did ) that he got scared not 10 bloody minutes .

But if this is what she was dealing with I can sort of understand why she would keep it quiet .

ComeWhineWithMe Mon 19-Jan-09 16:09:59

NAB he has been doing this since we got him and he is very used to children we already have 5 grin.

NewAmazingBeginning Mon 19-Jan-09 16:10:51

My cat was fine with one and two but not at all happy when number 3 came along.

chancelloroftheexCHEQUERS Mon 19-Jan-09 16:11:16

How did you introduce the crate? It should be done slowly and gently so they see it as a place of safety and want to be in there.

They should never be put in one as a punishment either (sorry MC).

Geepers Mon 19-Jan-09 16:12:08

If you get rid of him he is just going to be moved from home to home as everyone discovers the same problem with him.

He'd have gone long ago if he was mine, though. Well done for putting up with it for so long.

petrovia Mon 19-Jan-09 16:13:33

Not necessarily Geepers. There might be someone who can help him.

Mutt Mon 19-Jan-09 16:13:50

Separation anxiety will be made worse if you let him have the run of the house.

A crate gives a dog a secure place to stay when they have to be left. BUT, if he was left in a crate for long periods before you got him that would account for his fear (especially if he was put in a crate as punishment as well). You'll have to do a lot of work building his confidence in using a crate if that is the case. This can be achieved by feeding him in the crate, giving him a special chew or toy he only gets in the crate, cover the top and some sides with a blanket so it is more den-like and never, ever putting him in there as a punishment.

Also, how much exercise is he getting? Labradors need A LOT - more than most people realise - so depending on what he's crossed with, that will certainly exacerbate his problems.

He sounds like he's got serious anxiety issues - probably due to his early experiences. They could probably be solved but you have to want to devote your time and energy to doing it.

Poor thing sad But I do understand how you feel. I took on a labrador who almost destroyed the house before we managed to sort her problems out.

ComeWhineWithMe Mon 19-Jan-09 16:13:59

It was introduced slowly ,we put his teddys in it and blankets (he has a thing for teddies) It was in the house for a few days so he got used to it ,when we put him in he would whimper and howl as if in pain ,I could have dealt with it but he shook as well really badly that I can't terrify him like that .

Geepers Mon 19-Jan-09 16:17:25

Petrovia, honestly, who is going to want to put in the time and effort to deal with seperation anxiety in a dog they have no attachment to?

There are hundreds of thousands of near perfect dogs out there who can't find homes, the chances of finding a loving, life-long home for a dog with ishoos is remote. Sorry.

ComeWhineWithMe Mon 19-Jan-09 16:18:36

He has at least an hours long walk a day from dp ,we live in a house which backs onto a field so are lucky ,he is also taken out throughout the day.

I did think maybe a crate was used in his old home he is also terrified of tall men (dp is a shortarse) so wonder if something awful happened to him when he was a pup.

He has plenty of food ,toys ,chews everyone is in love with him even the bloody vet hmm he is so lovely people stop me when I am out with him just to comment on how lovely he is he is so much a part of the family I just can't cope with the mess he would be the perfect dog if he didn't have ishooos.

Mutt Mon 19-Jan-09 16:18:36

If he associated being punished with being in the crate, that would account for his fear.

Like I said, it can take a long time to build positive associations with the crate if it's been misused.

CarGirl Mon 19-Jan-09 16:20:54

can you borrow a friends dog for a few days to see if he stops messing if he has a companion with him? Worth a try?

petrovia Mon 19-Jan-09 16:21:46

I don't know Geepers I was just trying to be optimistic.

ComeWhineWithMe Mon 19-Jan-09 16:23:43

I did think that cargirl ,he seems ok with girl dogs but hates other males .But I don't think I could cope with another dog anyway .

I did buy him one of those lifesize cuddly dogs but he kept humping it grin.

chancelloroftheexCHEQUERS Mon 19-Jan-09 16:25:14

I've actually been thinking about getting another dog to keep my girl dog company but not sure if I could cope with his issues.

You have my sympathy, my mother's dog did this (but not till it was much older -14). I looked after it for a while to give her a breakand found the mess very stressful, to say the least. Dog was miserable even when left for minutes alone, and barked and moaned constantly.
It has just been put down. We tried everything we could think of/afford.
I think in the end, dogs are dogs. Not children.

CarGirl Mon 19-Jan-09 16:25:39

But if you borrowed a dog and it worked then you can honestly say he needs rehoming with other dogs.

Mutt Mon 19-Jan-09 16:26:49

Has he been castrated? If not, that oftens helps to calm stressy dogs. Although that of course won't be the whole answer.

scardypants Mon 19-Jan-09 16:35:57

What 'rules' has he got? Is he allowed to jump up on you, dc's, furniture? Does he run straight to you or jump up when you get home? If so, how do you respond? Do you give out to him when you see what he's done or when you catch him doing it? Is it possible he has placed himself higher in your 'pack' and as such he frets for 'your safety' when you leave causing him a lot of stress?

HuwEdwards Mon 19-Jan-09 16:40:39

I, like Emkana think you should re-home him, to someone with more energy and time on their hands than you will have (when that baby arrives smile who can hopefully help sort his problems for him.

You've done the obvious stuff, let him go.

Go easy on yourself and Good luck.

HuwEdwards Mon 19-Jan-09 16:41:41

I meant to add that I had a VERY destructive dog some years ago, BUT I had no children, I really couldn't have dealt with both.

mysterymoniker Mon 19-Jan-09 16:41:43

this page is full of tried and tested methods for tackling separation anxiety

I deal with problems like this in dogs allll the time using these sort of techniques, it is not likely to be a leadership issue (very few things are)

mysterymoniker Mon 19-Jan-09 16:42:34

I would take him on

brimfull Tue 20-Jan-09 00:14:30

I sympathise...my old girl is incontinent and the mess is very stressful ,especially when she has a runny tummy.

Mysterymoniker (brave woman) may be able to help smile

wibblymama Wed 11-Jan-12 15:56:25

Hi I am new to mumsnet as I too am really struggling to cope with my puppy. I have a one year old and a three year old and just can't cope anymore. I feel so foolish for getting the dog in the first place. Reading your message made me feel like I wasn't alone so neither are you! Our dog is lovely and my husband adores her but he is out all day and I am at home with all three. I feel she would be happier in a new home that can focus on her 100%.Am dreading the 'I told you so's' from friends neighbours, family etc.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 11-Jan-12 16:05:54

You don't need a trainer you need a behaviorist. The two are not always the same. You'll need a home visit and one to one advise. You will be able to find a local one here or contact minimu (a poster on here) and she is a behaviorist and might know someone local to you. Avoid anyone who mentions pack theory or uses harsh training methods.

How did you go about trying to crate the dog? Most dogs can be crate trained but it takes time. You can't just shut them in and expect them to get on with it.

Nothing you have mentioned on here is a serious issue. It can all be worked on if you are willing to put in the time.

RhondaRoo Wed 11-Jan-12 16:09:30

Instead of a crate have you thought of giving him a 'safe' area?

Somewhere that is his, you or DP clean it/tend to it - no children allowed anywhere near it?

An example - a table with a blanket/sheet draped over it, his bed and teddies (my dog is the same for teddies) underneath?

If he has a safe place he may respond to training better?

(not qualified in dog training, just my dog is obsessed with sitting under the table!)

LauraOB Tue 13-Nov-12 21:21:17

hello, Did ComeWhineWithMe manage to get rid of her dog? as i am going through exactly the same issues, and need to get rid of mine quickly, already tried dog centers etc etc but i am beginnign to hate her. plz help

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