Please don't laugh, but I think I may have eaten dd's hamster, I am so upset.

(697 Posts)
LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 15:28:16

Please don't laugh at me, I am so upset. She is at school, she will be gutted

I warmed up a pot of chicken casserole left over from yesterday to have for my lunch. I have eaten it, it's too late to do anything, but it was boiling for a good hour before I ate it and now I've just gone to feed dd's hamster and his cage is open and he isn't there . There was no lid on the casserole pot, his cage was on the shelf at the other end of the kitchen and the door was shut so there isn't really anywhere else he could have gone. He must have fallen in and drowned before it got hot, that's the only thing I can think of. I didn't find the hamster in the stew obviously, but there were some hairs in the pot, I just washed it it was full of bones anyway because they were those cheap chicken portions just boiled in from frozen.

Please, don't just laugh at me, I know this sounds silly but he was my daughter's birthday present, she is 6 and I don't think she will ever forgive me

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 15:28:43

Is this a joke?

sandyballs Thu 09-Nov-06 15:29:16

Is this for real

Mellowma Thu 09-Nov-06 15:29:17

Message withdrawn

Is it one of these silly threads?

If not then

Koshka1984 Thu 09-Nov-06 15:29:23

just telll her it ran away or something...

Trinityrhino Thu 09-Nov-06 15:29:40

this has to be a joke, you would have seen a dead hamnster in your casserole

morningpaper Thu 09-Nov-06 15:29:47

DizzyBint Thu 09-Nov-06 15:30:02

are you kidding? surely you would have noticed an entire hamster as you ladled the casserole out?! i'm going to assume you're kidding

Mellowma Thu 09-Nov-06 15:30:02

Message withdrawn

mytwopenceworth Thu 09-Nov-06 15:30:07

omg i hope this is a joke.

if not, i would hot foot it to the pet shop. (one to take-away!)






and can i have the recipe?

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 15:30:35

Trip trap

sandyballs Thu 09-Nov-06 15:30:36

I really can't believe how you could fail to see a dead boiled hamster in your lunch

Koshka1984 Thu 09-Nov-06 15:30:45

maybe say it helped someone so they didnt starve for the day....he helps other people

nailpolish Thu 09-Nov-06 15:31:06

SORRY but you would have noticed a hamster in the pot

this is like an Only Fools and Horses storyline is it not, but they ahd a budgie?

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 15:31:14

I really can't stand people laughing at me when I am upset, if you think this is a joke then please could you just not reply. My dd will be home from school in about half an hour (her daddy is collecting her) and she will be devastated, he is her first pet and she loves him. This is just awful, how could I not notice

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 15:31:35

SOrry but this is nonsense

oliveoil Thu 09-Nov-06 15:32:02

oh yes, I ate a whole elephant once, it wandered in from the garden, how was I to know it was in my quiche?

((((((hugs)))))))

Koshka1984 Thu 09-Nov-06 15:32:14

what does your name mean in english?

erm...he sacrificed homself for the good of others?

nailpolish Thu 09-Nov-06 15:32:38

rofl @ quiche

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 15:32:38

pmsl!!!

(If school doesn't finish til 3.30 amd someone else is collecting...)

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 15:32:44

you would have noticed. There would have been a whole body with a head and fur on as well as feet.

If this isn't a windup then its probably escaped behind the skirting board or in the furniture or something.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 15:32:57

I shouldn't have posted. It isn't funny to me though and my dd won't be laughing either

Koshka1984 Thu 09-Nov-06 15:33:03

Buy her a cat, then you definately wont cook it.

Or a dog.

Or if you get the inclination to eat a pet again, buy a rabbit

JoolsToo Thu 09-Nov-06 15:33:07

are you a hammy boiler?

southeastastra Thu 09-Nov-06 15:33:31

the hamster would have had to be quite fireproof to even climb into the pan. check everywhere else before you step on it.

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 15:33:38

It means "the poor one"

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 15:33:48

i have checked all the cupboards, he isn't there, I did wonder if he could have got out under the door but I think it is too narrow.

sassy Thu 09-Nov-06 15:33:48

Is your name Freddie Starr?

Mellowma Thu 09-Nov-06 15:33:50

Message withdrawn

DizzyBint Thu 09-Nov-06 15:34:12

koshka- she didnt notice a hamster, she may not notice a dog either. best she gets a horse.

liath Thu 09-Nov-06 15:34:15

Honestly - you would have noticed, unless you're used to chicken portions with fur on them.

Hamster is bound to be somewhere else.

You can't post a thread like this & not expect people to chuckle I'm afraid.

sandyballs Thu 09-Nov-06 15:34:18

If this is for real and not a joke then please calm down. I'm sure the hamster is hiding in the house somewhere . no way can you eat a hamster and not realise.

MrsBadger Thu 09-Nov-06 15:34:20

just tell her the cage was left open by accident and he must have escaped, and has run off to live with the water voles (or whatever pleasant fiction you fancy)

no need to mention the casserole

somethingunderthebedisdrooling Thu 09-Nov-06 15:34:22

guinea pigs is part of the staple diet in the Andes so i don't have a problem with eating hamsters.

Mellowma Thu 09-Nov-06 15:34:40

Message withdrawn

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 15:35:10

they can get out of tiny gaps. Unless you were cooking with sulphuric acid then there is no way you could have missed it.

nailpolish Thu 09-Nov-06 15:35:21

what IS the difference between hamsters and guinea pigs

apart from where the come from

Koshka1984 Thu 09-Nov-06 15:35:43

dizzyBint - good idea!

Its a good thing babies are quite big, imagine if she looked away for a few minutes!

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 15:36:12

the size for one thing. Though apart from that I don't actually know, cept guinea pigs are lovely and hamsters are boring.

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 15:37:27

Guinea pigs go wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep and hamsters don't....

BettySpaghetti Thu 09-Nov-06 15:37:39

Not quite sure what it says about your cooking skills if you can't tell if you've eaten a hamster in your casserole

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 15:37:58

I don't really understand why people are laughing, haven't you got children? My dd will not think this is funny, I am dreading her coming home. I know it sounds like you couldn't eat a hamster, I feel sick thinking about it, but honestly there isn't anywhere else he could be, he was there this morning.

nailpolish Thu 09-Nov-06 15:38:17

oh yes i love that noise guinea pigs make

Koshka1984 Thu 09-Nov-06 15:38:39

hamsters dissolve in casserole, and maybe guinea pigs dont

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 15:38:42

hamsters are smaller than guinea pigs, he is about the same as a biggish mouse but quite fluffy

oliveoil Thu 09-Nov-06 15:38:42

<<<no-one has mentionned how the hair got in the pot if the hamster is peeping out behind the fridge and giggling>>

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 15:39:20

LoL Koshka1984

Oh FFS LaPauvre, we're not stupid

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 15:39:45

OO - eeeewwww yuck

southeastastra Thu 09-Nov-06 15:39:55

check everywhere honestly they can get into tiny places

hunkermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 15:39:57

Hamsters can get out of gaps you wouldn't think possible. And go under floorboards.

PMSL at quiche! OO, that was good!

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 15:39:59

Guessing this is kitchen - 1 million hiding spaces. Mine escaped when I was little, went under the fridge and ate the wiring. Stayed there for ages and we couldn't get it out.

Don't be ridiculous you can't have eaten it

The longer you insist you have the more people will think its a windup.

DizzyBint Thu 09-Nov-06 15:40:09

eugh yes. have you got short hamsterish hair lapauvre?

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 15:40:56

Sorry katierocket but I think you are being a bit stupid, telling me you don't believe me is not going to help me or my dd when she comes home and finds him gone.

morningpaper Thu 09-Nov-06 15:40:58

but he'd be WHOLE

hamsters don't DISSOLVE, you are getting them confused with Aspirin

unless he took a little knife in with him and conveniently filleted himself?

MrsBojangles Thu 09-Nov-06 15:41:02

LaPauvre, I'm quite certain you didn't eat the hamster. We have dwarf hamsters and even those you would spot in a casserole.

He's probably squeezed into some crevice or even under the door. also silly question but have you checked the cage properly? He might just have dug himself in

And don't be annoyed at those posters who are having a laugh, it has sort of a comical side to it

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 15:41:06

That'll be there from where he threw it in... these hamsters are cunning dontcha know!

Bozza Thu 09-Nov-06 15:41:11

I think Pauvre is a regular - and one with fairly reasonable spelling and grammar. Spelling/grammar don't match with content IMO.

Still quite an entertaining effort.

Mum2FunkyDude Thu 09-Nov-06 15:41:12

So the problem is not that you ate it, it is your dd's devastation!

I do think that you would've noticed it. Definitely the fur at least, and it will damn hard to miss scull bones and claws. I think you can relax, it probably just got out and is about.

As a child my brother had one that could squeeze through it cage and would usually end up in some clothes somewhere. I would suggest you look on in "cosy" places as they are nocturnal and like to sleep during the day, also check the cage again, it is possible that it is still asleep deep in the cage.

nailpolish Thu 09-Nov-06 15:41:27

the hair on the casserole is probably mould

so no need to worry then

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 15:41:33

PMSL, this is hilarious, reminds me of the drowned gerbil!

hunkermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 15:41:35

What sort of hamster was it, LP?

FannyonFire Thu 09-Nov-06 15:41:48

Maybe he dressed up as a mad cow and came on MN to cause trouble?

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 15:42:21

I have pulled out the fridge, he isn't under it and i have looked in the cupboards and had all the saucepans out. My thinking was he had popped into the saucepan before I started heating it up and not been able to get out. It isn't funny really, it's horrible

hunkermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 15:43:15

PMSL at aspirin!

LP, you'd have noticed a freaking hamster in your dinner, OK?

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 15:43:28

LOLOL @ MP

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 15:43:30

pmsl... I have got a little white hamster in my kitchen drawer... or was that an asprin? They are very easyto mix up...

7up Thu 09-Nov-06 15:43:31

but youd find his feet and fur init wouldnt you?have you diseccted the casserole, that should be your firstjob

ScummyMummy Thu 09-Nov-06 15:43:44

hamsters can get anywhere, La Pauvre. Ours got into the downstairs flat once and narrowly escaped being brained by the woman who lived there who thought he was a wild rat. I guess you should pick through the casserole bones if you really think he could have got in there but I honestly think it's v unlikely.

mytwopenceworth Thu 09-Nov-06 15:43:52

look. a skull is quite obvious. it does not look like chicken bones. if you have boiled your hamsters fur and flesh off, its skull would be floating around the pot with the chicken bones. if there's no skull, your hamster is under the fridge. if you check and then come back and say yes, i am holding here a little hamster skull, i'll buy you a new one myself.

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 15:43:52

"hamsters don't DISSOLVE, you are getting them confused with Aspirin "

quote of the week, definitely

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 15:44:07

Not funny, it's bloody hilarious...

oliveoil Thu 09-Nov-06 15:44:16

I for one would notice if I chewed a hamster's tail

or eyeball for that matter

is it watching tv in the other room?

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 15:44:39

Yes Bozza, I can spell, I have A-Level English, but so do lots of people, I don't see why that means I am not genuine.

I am looking at the doors again now, the back door definitely not, it is sealed, but the door to the hall and stairs has a bit of a gap, it looks too narrow to me though.

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 15:44:53

<ponders the awol Soupdragon...>

nailpolish Thu 09-Nov-06 15:45:00

she cant check the casserole ofr skulls, shes eaten it has she not?

the casserole not the skull

or maybe both

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 15:45:02

And as for me being stupid - pots and kettles....

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 15:45:06

am still loling at aspirin comment... women at work thought I was laughing at her..

southeastastra Thu 09-Nov-06 15:45:16

did the meat taste different?

oliveoil Thu 09-Nov-06 15:45:53

I don't have any A Levels but can tell a hamster from a chicken thigh

hamsters are like mice and can get into any gaps and squash themselves v small and thin

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 15:45:57

hamster's can flatten themselves.

FannyonFire Thu 09-Nov-06 15:46:03

If a regular has started this to take the heat out of the cowmad situation then bravo and bravo again

ScummyMummy Thu 09-Nov-06 15:46:04

God- I haven't laughed out loud at a thread so much in ages.

nailpolish Thu 09-Nov-06 15:46:18

HIJACK

mascara did you used to be doormat? or am i totally wrong?

WhizzBangCaligula Thu 09-Nov-06 15:46:32

Oh I have tears running down my cheeks and an ache in my stomach from laughing so much

hunkermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 15:46:53

They can get through a gap under a door.

A mouse, for instance, can fit through a gap the size of a pencil.

A cockroach can fit through a gap the size of a sheet of paper (edge-on) [barf]

Why do I know these things?!

DizzyBint Thu 09-Nov-06 15:46:53

lapauvre- have we at least reassured you that you really can't have eaten it? oh hang on..did you heat the casserole up and eat it straight away just like that or did you whizz it up with a blender so it was more soupy? oh dear..

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 15:47:13

Ugh, I will have to pick through the bones then, I ate some and trhew the rest in the bin with the bones. Yes I can see why this looks like a joke but really, it is not. It is horrible actually, I would like it not to be true DH will think I am a complete idiot as well.

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 15:47:13

please stop, I have a presentation to write.

"Honey, I ate the Hamster" I swear get that little guy with hthe glasses to play the lead character, you'd make a mint...

oliveoil Thu 09-Nov-06 15:47:18

aha!!!

<lightbulb at FOF post>

Look - it's got out somehow and will be sleeping inside a cushion somewhere. Enough.

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 15:47:43

dizzybint

JoolsToo Thu 09-Nov-06 15:48:03
MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 15:48:26

No, I'm not Doormat - she's still here - changed her name to something else though bu tI think she has returned to Doormat now...

shewhoneverdusts Thu 09-Nov-06 15:48:35

ours was missing for 4 days before we managed to catch him again.

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 15:48:37

fur, eyeballs, intestines, claws, brain - did you eat those as well?

morningpaper Thu 09-Nov-06 15:48:39
Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 15:49:04

.. am impressed with thread

nailpolish Thu 09-Nov-06 15:49:06

you ATE some of the bones???????????????

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 15:49:21

OH Fuck!!! I hope he hasn't gone outside, you might find him near death in a puddle... <sigh> the memories....

FannyonFire Thu 09-Nov-06 15:49:40

?


Maybe hes down the gym?

nailpolish Thu 09-Nov-06 15:49:55

oh ok mascara

yes i had noticed she had changed back again - what did she change to?

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 15:50:47

Didn't doormat become pelvicfloor?

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 15:50:53

Doormat is far more elequent than I.. as are most tbh

nailpolish Thu 09-Nov-06 15:51:37

no dont think pelvicfloor

anwya no matter

shes doormat again

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 15:52:18
LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 15:53:12

I have been through the bin, I didn't find a skull, but it was all messed up and gloopy, I did use a little hand-held blender to smash up some of the veg (I put some fresh in and then boiled for an hour just to freshen it up because it was leftovers) but I don't think I could have crushed up a whole skull, could I? But there was hair in there or something that looked like wet hair.

Please will you stop taking the mickey, I have said lots of times that I know it sounds stupid but I am really upset and some of you are not helping. There is a little girl who is going to come home soon and find her pet gone, and it's my fault .

WelshBoris Thu 09-Nov-06 15:53:15

Google offices


"Why is there a massive increase in hamster photo seaches today?"

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 15:53:31

Excellent Twig

what did you google to find that!!

southeastastra Thu 09-Nov-06 15:54:15

can you get another one quickly?

sandyballs Thu 09-Nov-06 15:54:51

God I feel sick.

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 15:55:21

It's not like you have to tell your DD you ate it is it FFS!!!!!

How about "sweetie the Hamster has escaped, I've looked for him but can't find him - we'll just have to wait and see if he turn up again"

Bozza Thu 09-Nov-06 15:55:42

It is not because you can spell that I think you are not genuine. It is because your story is entirely unbelievable. BTDT with bumfluff. I am currently speculating about how many of the people offering advice genuinely believe the story, and how many are tongue in cheek.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 15:55:58

I feel sick too. DH is going to kill me.

hunkermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 15:56:36

What sort of hamster was it? Syrian? Roborovski? Winter White?

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 15:56:36
Spidermama Thu 09-Nov-06 15:57:03

You haven't had Freddie Star lurking around in your kitchen have you?
Only, I've heard reports about him ...

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 15:57:17

eeeeooowwww

Blandmum Thu 09-Nov-06 15:57:33

The fur would have been a bit of a give away. And the turds.

JanH Thu 09-Nov-06 15:57:45

"I put some fresh in and then boiled for an hour just to freshen it up because it was leftovers"

You boil your veg for an HOUR? I am shocked!

FGS don't tell dh either then. They are tricky little buggers - he escaped, you are looking for him - end of.

There is a lot of good advice among the (v funny) comments - why aren't you taking it?

anon31 Thu 09-Nov-06 15:58:05

I think you would notice the fur in the pot.
If you are for real, get down the pet shop and buy another one.

beckybrastraps Thu 09-Nov-06 15:58:11

I have to say that if I thought I'd eaten a hamster, the first thing on my mind would NOT be the feelings of said hamster's owner. It would be the thought that I had just eaten a hamster. Strikes a false note to me...or am I just particularly hard-hearted?

DaveTheFreeRangeHamster Thu 09-Nov-06 15:58:13

Tell your dd he ran away....Dave did.

PyroPaps Thu 09-Nov-06 15:58:28

can´t help with the absent hamster, but boiling vege for an hour to freshen the dish is about 45 minutes to long imo

WelshBoris Thu 09-Nov-06 15:58:32

Awwwww Bozza play along tis fun

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 15:58:37

Oh Mascara surely "Sorry darling, I ate your hamster for lunch" is a much better way to break the news?

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 15:58:40

He is a little fluffy brown one that we got from the petshop. He isn't a dwarf but he isn't much bigger.

DH's car has just come up the drive, I will have to go and break the news to dd.

Bozza, you are wrong about me.

ScummyMummy Thu 09-Nov-06 15:59:04

I don't believe it happened. I believe it's just possible that LaPauvre has lost a hamster and is panicking but far far more likely that it is a supremely excellent made up thread. In any event I am enjoying it immensely.

beckybrastraps Thu 09-Nov-06 15:59:26

Your dh would kill you for eating a hamster? Mine would wet himself laughing. And phone everyone we knew.

Spidermama Thu 09-Nov-06 15:59:31

Is anyone else old enough to remember this?

RIPHamster Thu 09-Nov-06 15:59:35

Oh mock me why dont you?

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 15:59:49

DAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Iklboo Thu 09-Nov-06 16:00:07

He's more likely behind your fridge or freezer. These are the first places hamsters head for in a kitchen cos they're v warm behind there

dinosaur Thu 09-Nov-06 16:00:17

So glad I chose today to end my mn sabbatical ...

What time does she get home from school, LePauvre?

ScummyMummy Thu 09-Nov-06 16:00:50

lolololol @ "and phone everyone we knew" bbs!

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 16:01:27

Eating a hamster is like the day my dp had his car stolen... or rather just misplaced it for two feckin weeks!!!

dinosaur Thu 09-Nov-06 16:01:34

No pun intended, but I think I smell a rat...where's Blu, anyway?

<LaPauvre waits for a convincing interval to make us think she's 'breaking the news'>

ludaloo Thu 09-Nov-06 16:03:41

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 16:04:02

I just read the thread title "I want to make up food hampers..." as

"I want to make up food hamsters..."

I need to get out of here...

PyroPaps Thu 09-Nov-06 16:04:38

just read this thread title... " I want ro make up food hampers for christmas presents - any ideas?"

first blink was this though

I want ro make up food hamsters for christmas presents - any ideas?

PyroPaps Thu 09-Nov-06 16:04:45

just read this thread title... " I want ro make up food hampers for christmas presents - any ideas?"

first blink was this though

I want ro make up food hamsters for christmas presents - any ideas?

PyroPaps Thu 09-Nov-06 16:05:37

lol mascara and then I got click envy

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 16:05:45

was coming on to post the same thing!!

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 16:06:10

LOL - well at least I wasn't the only one..

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 16:07:11

This could run and run... appending thread titles etc...

like "measuring Children"... "measuring children - do I need a bigger cassarole dish"

RIPHamster Thu 09-Nov-06 16:07:26

Doormat was desperatescousewife but has changed back to doormat again

Mascaraohara is a drunken hussy who wears leopard print

Mellowma Thu 09-Nov-06 16:08:06

Message withdrawn

LadyOfTheFlowersIs1Baby1Bump Thu 09-Nov-06 16:09:06

i have upset tons of people today so im just gonna let rip:
this is rubbish.
it just gets better and better- now there is mention of whizzing the thing up with a blender- ace. but halloween was last month, drop it.

and wtf are you doing keeping a hamster cage on a kitchen worktop anyway? gross!

thankyou.

RIPHamster Thu 09-Nov-06 16:09:17

Oh thats right Mellowma, concentrate on the bones never mind Ive been dished up for dinner with broccoli and runner beans

prettymum Thu 09-Nov-06 16:09:57

god this thread is sooo funny for a thread meant for remorse and sadness!!

Bozza Thu 09-Nov-06 16:10:05

Thanks to all these dodgy hamster links I have tried to access loads of forbidden sites at work.

wb will start to play along. Just surprised that there haven't been a few guesses as to who it is. Do you think it could be cod - doing her old spell properly to put them off the scent routine?

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 16:10:15

DH is being really nice about it, he doesn't believe I could have eaten it or boiled it up though, he is having a look in the lounge and hall in case the hamster got under the door.

dd is crying in the bathroom, I just told her he got out and ran away but she is gutted.

I can see that posting "Please don't laugh but I have eaten a hamster" there would always be some people who would laugh at that. It isn't very nice though when I am obviously upset and not joking.

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 16:10:20

actually that is pretty rank - they piss up the bars and stink.

and boiling veg for an hour?!?!?! what's that about

RIPHamster Thu 09-Nov-06 16:10:26

LadyOfTheFlowersIs1Baby1Bump

Does this thread offend you in any way?

Or are you jealous because if it is a wind up it is very very amusing?

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 16:10:55

nailpolish Thu 09-Nov-06 16:11:12

aha! despscousewife

sorry i always get dsw and mascara mixed up

no idea why

ta riphamster

Mellowma Thu 09-Nov-06 16:11:24

Message withdrawn

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 16:11:26

Oh and btw, I am and I do...

LadyOfTheFlowersIs1Baby1Bump Thu 09-Nov-06 16:11:38

or on the shelf above the worktop/hob/whatecer in the kitchen.
all his little bumbles would drop into your food etc...
nice.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 16:11:50

ladyoftheflowers he doesn't live on the worktop, his cage is on a long shelf that goes from one end of our kitchen to the other, he isn't on the food prep surfaces. I am quite surprised by how nasty some of you are.

NothingButAttitudeOnMN Thu 09-Nov-06 16:11:54

Didn't the hamster shaped piece of chicken ring any alarm bells then?

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 16:12:25

The was the the serving up with brocolli post...

LOTF - where did you offend people??

anon666 Thu 09-Nov-06 16:12:35

Absolute classic. Well worth browsing this thread. Haven't LOL so much in ages. Thank you LaPauvre.

Believe me, an hour or so would not be enough for the hamster to cook, let alone disappear into the stew.

Brilliant story though.

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 16:12:50

PMSL @ Hammy living on the worktop!!

this is MN Genius

LadyOfTheFlowersIs1Baby1Bump Thu 09-Nov-06 16:13:28

very offensive

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 16:13:32

As I said my daughter is crying in the bathroom. Thanks to everyone who thinks this is funny.

Sugarfree Thu 09-Nov-06 16:13:37
Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 16:13:41

How long does it take to cook a hamster then?

Mellowma Thu 09-Nov-06 16:14:09

Message withdrawn

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 16:14:10

if i had a pet tragedy, i wouldn't say that this would be my first port if call. I might share the info later. I would also notice that chickens are not furry and wonder why the chuff there was fur in my casserole

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 16:14:15

He doesn't live on the worktop.

Mellowma Thu 09-Nov-06 16:14:49

Message withdrawn

Mellowma Thu 09-Nov-06 16:15:21

Message withdrawn

anorak Thu 09-Nov-06 16:15:23

So didn't the chicken bones foul up the blender then? Trying to imagine using a blender on something with bones. Kermit springs to mind

chester30 Thu 09-Nov-06 16:15:36

the remains should be reassembled to be certain of the hamsters demise.

hunkermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 16:15:47

Is he still in the cage? Sounds like a big cage and a small hamster.

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 16:15:51

My mum used to feed my rabbit and tell me it was furry chicken...

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 16:15:56

at mellow

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 16:15:59

I actually am shamking with laughter (and I'm at work)

I really must write this presentation!

NothingButAttitudeOnMN Thu 09-Nov-06 16:16:08
AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 16:16:28

it could be rabbit stew then??

LadyOfTheFlowersIs1Baby1Bump Thu 09-Nov-06 16:17:00

he does not live on the worktop.
sorry. i misread.
im good at that.

chester30 Thu 09-Nov-06 16:17:26

what are you having for dinner tonight lapauvre?

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 16:17:36

You could check it's dental records to confirm identity

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 16:17:53

oi, have you posted my buggy?
[impatient emoticon]
not that it took a week for my cheque to reach you or anything

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 16:18:22

le pauvre will be dining on a fine stew of shrew and vole

RIPHamster Thu 09-Nov-06 16:18:43

Most posts on a pet thread EVER

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 16:18:48

SEE! It can cook in a hour...

(Could easily be rabbit soup.. the skull would be more noticable though)

anon666 Thu 09-Nov-06 16:19:16

flamesparrow. Can just picture Nigella:

"Ohhh, i usually leave hamsters in for at least a couple of hours, till the meat is falling off the bone. " <<<<accompanied by footage of the domestic goddess licking fingers and lips>>>>>>>>

Mind you this has given me a great idea for revenge on the MIL...... Unless they have beaten me to it. I was given a rather strange pheasant casserole once...

LadyOfTheFlowersIs1Baby1Bump Thu 09-Nov-06 16:19:18

no allie. i have not posted your buggy yet
i am too busy being jealous of this hilairious thread!
and i dont care i have spelt that wrong either!

ssd Thu 09-Nov-06 16:19:26

in reply to op, why are you so upset?

didn't he taste nice?

Lio Thu 09-Nov-06 16:20:47

LaPauvre, one day you, your dd and I suspect many of us here, will dine out on this story.

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 16:20:50

pmsl

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 16:21:20

lmao @ dining out on the story!!!

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 16:21:51

aw lady, have you had a bad day???
I couldn't bear to touch a stinking hamster, let alone eat one. Don't they eat each other when one dies though?

chester30 Thu 09-Nov-06 16:22:08

all the bones will make a superb stock

anon666 Thu 09-Nov-06 16:22:24

And I was given second and third helpings of it for pretending it was really nice. Looking back, no-one else touched it, and we never did find out what happened to the canary......

hunkermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 16:22:39



Hamsters are lovely.

Boy hamsters do have unfeasibly large testicles though. They drag rather...

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 16:22:58

they'd make a bloody small stock

LadyOfTheFlowersIs1Baby1Bump Thu 09-Nov-06 16:23:13

had a lovely day so far allie dear.

chester30 Thu 09-Nov-06 16:23:25

hamsters can't live together - they fight

I believe russian dwarf hamsters are the only ones that can live together

RIPHamster Thu 09-Nov-06 16:23:25

Lots of houses around the country <mainly in Surrey though>

"DH, remember we lost that gerbil?"

anon666 Thu 09-Nov-06 16:24:20

Plus, most blenders can't really handle bones of any sort, so that is a non-starter. I can just hear the juddering sound it would make - at least my cheap one.

chester30 Thu 09-Nov-06 16:25:33

what should lapouvres next pet be?

ludaloo Thu 09-Nov-06 16:25:39

not being funny but why do you keep a hamster in your kitchen????

we have one and its a messy little blighter..kicks poo and saw dust out all over the place...eeeewwwww

tortoise Thu 09-Nov-06 16:25:48

LaPauvre Make sure you don't dream of eating sausages tonight.You DP might wake up unhappy!
Am PMSL at this whole thread!

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 16:27:21

My dad ate dogs testicles once in Korea, he said they were somewhat chewy

MaloryTowersBigHeadBigNorks Thu 09-Nov-06 16:29:01

l

o*

*l

RubyRioja Thu 09-Nov-06 16:29:49

I think we are mising an important point here - Le Pauvre must be an even crappier cook then me!

hunkermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 16:30:12

Russian dwarf hamsters can live together if the cage is enormous, otherwise you will have one big fat hamster one morning (after much overnight squeaking).

Roborovskis can live together.

[encyclopaedic knowledge of hamsters]

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 09-Nov-06 16:31:15

HM, are you really HamsterMunker?

ludaloo Thu 09-Nov-06 16:31:27

my aunty hoovered up my cousins hamster once....
it actually survived too....

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 16:36:54

I feel sorry for the mythical daughter bawling her eyes out

well I would if she existed

or if this had happened

well you see what I mean

.... I also cry at made-for-tv movies

Bozza Thu 09-Nov-06 16:37:07

Hunker if I was you I would be keeping well away from lapauvre - if she can do this to a hamster, surely a mouse can't be safe.

ishouldbeironing Thu 09-Nov-06 16:39:43

Where has she gone to?? Is she at the pet shop??

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 16:40:35

perhaps she's wondering what to make for DD's tea

misdee Thu 09-Nov-06 16:40:38

if her dd was crying in the bathroom, should she becopmforting her and not be on here?

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 16:42:57

yes .. every child needs a good copmfort

ishouldbeironing Thu 09-Nov-06 16:43:39

Or a pet

misdee Thu 09-Nov-06 16:44:02



i had one just grappling with my top again. typing goes poo when that happens

wannaBe1974 Thu 09-Nov-06 16:44:32

well for dinner I would suggest maybe ...

ratattoey!

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 16:46:04

<snigger> @ rat-a-tooey

and I'd decorate my table with Tulips too

Tulips from Hamster-Jam

Kelly1978 Thu 09-Nov-06 16:46:11

pmsl now at rattatouie!

I love the hamster/aspirin thing too, def quote of the week.

I'm still trying to figure out who it is. There has to be a clue in the name. Doesn't it mean 'the poor one' in english?

MrsBadger Thu 09-Nov-06 16:46:46

or perhaps mousesaka?

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 16:47:36

Ham sandwiches?

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 16:47:46

Still looking pointedly at the gaping hole where Soupdragon normally is...

anorak Thu 09-Nov-06 16:50:13

ssd asks what it tasted like. I would imagine it was somewhat like chicken.

southeastastra Thu 09-Nov-06 16:51:36

it's such an odd story, it could have happened. the strangest stories are often true

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 16:52:33

For anyone who was actually interested: dh and I have searched the whole house and we cannot find any sign of him. No droppings either. The back door was shut tightly, so I can't think of anything that can have happened to him other than what I said in the first place. It does make me feel sick but it is too late now.

dd has not been told anything other than that we think he must have got out and dh is going to take her to the petshop tomorrow after school to choose another one. She is still very upset and is angry with me.

Thanks, to the few people who didn't just think it was funny for my daughter to lose her pet.

tarantula Thu 09-Nov-06 16:52:45

Well at least we arent talking about eating spiders any more. I feel a bit safer now.

Saturn74 Thu 09-Nov-06 16:53:46

Not read the whole thread.

Have you checked the toaster?

BIGlilBUBU Thu 09-Nov-06 16:56:15

You'd be suprised at where they can squeese into, he's probably behind your kitchen cabinets.

wannaBe1974 Thu 09-Nov-06 16:56:48

if you are for real the hamster could have got in behind the kitchen units, honestly, they can crawl into the smallest places - put some food out tonight, if it is gone or touched in the morning you know he's still alive and you can get a humane trap from the pet shop.

but too many parts of your story are inconsistant for me to believe it's actually true, if it was left over caserole you wouldn't have cooked it for an hour surely, and if it contained bones the blender would have broken when you tried to blend it, plus you would notice a hamster floting in the pot.

moljam Thu 09-Nov-06 16:56:55

ive not laughed so much in ages!are you going veggie now?

DaveTheFreeRangeHamster Thu 09-Nov-06 16:58:24

Really LaPauvre, Dave escaped from a closed cage and turned up a week later in my kitchen. I wouldn't be buying a replacement just yet.

Tutter Thu 09-Nov-06 16:59:29

absolutely pmsl

vole-au-vent, anyone?

throckenholt Thu 09-Nov-06 17:00:22

if a hamster has genuinely escaped he could be anywhere in the house by now. Ours got up inside the cavity and ended up in the bathroom ceiling.

If you want to catch it the best way is to put som e food in a bucket with a ramp leading up to the rim - the hamster climbs up the ramp and falls in the bucket and can't get out again.

He is likely to be most active at night.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:00:36

What's a humane trap? Will it hurt him? It would be worth a try.

No, the blender didn't break, iti s one of those ones like a stick with the blades in the end, you just put it on the bits you want to whizz, I had sweet potato and swede in there I wanted to mush up. There were all the chicken bones from the chicken portions as well, it doesn't break the blender!

Marne Thu 09-Nov-06 17:01:19

Can't you go out and buy another hamster that looks the same, she wont notice!

Im sure you would of noticed if you had cooked the hamster what with the fur and evrything.

How would it have got into the stew?

anorak Thu 09-Nov-06 17:01:31

"Hmm...that's odd, I don't remember putting raisins in this casserole..."

beckybrastraps Thu 09-Nov-06 17:01:49

Hang on. You grind up the bones in the processor?

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:02:35

No, bbs, not the bones, the vegetable pieces.

It isn't funny. You are actually upsetting me now.

misdee Thu 09-Nov-06 17:03:55

you checked the whole house quickly.

put the cage on the floor, door open, and see if its there in the morning. we had a wandering hamster, she was always disappearing, but always came back after a night or two.

wannaBe1974 Thu 09-Nov-06 17:04:16

a humane trap is a bit like a cage. you put food in the back and when the hamster goes in to get it it triggers a mechanism that brings the door down so he can't get out.

ludaloo Thu 09-Nov-06 17:04:29

An Ode To Hamster Eater:


I ate my daughters hamster,
Or at least I think I did
It fell into my cooking pot,
(it didn't have a lid)

Lets just hope for its poor sake,
It headed for the door
And lives its life in lush green fields
And not a pasta bake!

So let this be a lesson,
Cover up your lunch....
And please don't tell your daughter
You ATE IT WITH A CRUNCH!!!!

Were you bored around 3.30 Mars?

Kelly1978 Thu 09-Nov-06 17:05:20

pmsl @ludaloo!!!

Carmenere Thu 09-Nov-06 17:06:03

LaPauvre where is the problem. You know that it is very unlikely that you have actually eaten the furry little rat. You've just said that you will try a humane trap, you will locate the hamster dd will be delighted and you will be able to look back at this thread and laugh.

Marne Thu 09-Nov-06 17:06:16

Californifrau Thu 09-Nov-06 17:06:36

was it casserole or was it raatouille ?

ludaloo Thu 09-Nov-06 17:06:40

sorry couldn't help myself!!

seriously..I hope you find the poor little critter...

Californifrau Thu 09-Nov-06 17:07:08

or even raTatouille

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:08:27

I have asked dh to go to BandQ for one of the traps, he doesn't seem very happy about it but will go when he has had his dinner.

I think the poem is cruel. None of this is funny to us.

When he has had his dinner???!

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:11:10

No, he is not having the cat for his dinner. This is a really weird site.

ludaloo Thu 09-Nov-06 17:11:54

sorry...
not as offensive as all the other jibes though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

coggy Thu 09-Nov-06 17:12:07

Borrow a friend's dog.........that'll sniff the little blighter out.
My friend called me round to do just that a month or so ago.
I have a greyhound who likes to chase and eat small furry things so she was an ideal hamster finder..............muzzled of course!!!!!!

wannaBe1974 Thu 09-Nov-06 17:13:01

oh come on, you can't seriously expect people to believe this is real? isn't this your first post? and if you're a namechanger why would you change your name when you know that people would just suspect you of being a troll, or is that a rat, or a hamster

wannaBe1974 Thu 09-Nov-06 17:14:00

erm but if you do have a cat he might well have the hamster for his dinner if it's out and about

Tutter Thu 09-Nov-06 17:14:08
coggy Thu 09-Nov-06 17:14:51

I liked your Ratatooey wannaBe!!!!

Tutter Thu 09-Nov-06 17:15:25

I never mentioned a cat!

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:21:20

we do have a cat, but he is out, I haven't seen him all afternoon. I hadn't thought he might catch the hamster

This is my first actual thread but I have been reading for a few months. I don't really see why almost everyone thinks I am lying, that is a bit strange.

southeastastra Thu 09-Nov-06 17:22:45

they don't think you're lying, it's just a bizarre thing to happen and i suppose because you think you've eaten him makes the situation funny. i really don't think you've eaten him. i'm sure he'll turn up

Tutter Thu 09-Nov-06 17:22:49

what is (was) the hamster's name lapauvre?

wannaBe1974 Thu 09-Nov-06 17:24:30

a friend's cat ate her hamster.

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 17:24:58

What makes things suspicious LP is that you keep ignoring posters who say you can't possibly have eaten hamster without knowing. <sigh> If you keep doing so people will be convinced it is a windup.

Am 50-50 myself

Blu Thu 09-Nov-06 17:25:08

You haven't seen the cat all afternoon, lePauvre? Have you eaten the cat too, do you think? .
TBH I worry about what might happen to your poor dd when she gets home, at this rate...

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:25:09

I don't want to tell you his name, it is really unkind the way people are laughing at this. I hope you are right about me not having eaten him though, if you had been here you would have thought the same as me, it was the most obvious answer when there wasn't anywhere else he could have gone and he wasn't in his cage.

Carmenere Thu 09-Nov-06 17:25:46

If you have been lurking here for months you would know, indeed expect the reaction a post like this would get
Now what exactly were you looking for here? ~What kind of advice did you think would help in this situation?

intergalacticwalrus Thu 09-Nov-06 17:25:50

It feels wrong to laugh at this thread, but wtf, I'll laugh anyway.

Right, just off for my tea. I think it's rodent surprise tonight

Tutter Thu 09-Nov-06 17:25:51

oh go on, lapauvre

i think it will tell us a lot

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:26:01

Blu my daughter got home hours ago, she was very very upset and still is.

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 17:26:16

HAmsters are like Houdinis (even more so than toddlers). They can get through gaps you can't even see.

Carmenere Thu 09-Nov-06 17:26:40

Is this averybadhamster by any chance?

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 17:26:51

I'm convinced.... that its a windup.

The DD is home... sobbing in the bathroom...

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 17:27:14

And yeah if you've been lurking fro months how come you didn't see the gerbil threads?

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 17:27:25

I am surprised that you are able to type so eloquently if you are stupid enough to eat a hamster without noticing

what a larf

I love the uppityness of trolls sometimes ..

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:27:39

ilovecaboose, do you think he could have squeezed under the gap under a normal internal door? I don't know where he would have gone next though, it isn't a very big house and we have had a good look

Blu Thu 09-Nov-06 17:27:40

<<Blu mops brow in relief that LP has not eaten her own daughter by accident>>

LP if you were that offended you would just flounce off and have nothing more to do with 'those dreadful MN lot'..

Getting boring now..

Tutter Thu 09-Nov-06 17:27:50

absolutely flmesparrow

am gagging for her to tell us his name was houdini

or delia

Baconbaps Thu 09-Nov-06 17:27:59

So, you think you may have eaten the pet hamster. What's the first thing you do?

Is it

a) Throw up, panic and rush out to the pet shop for another one before DD gets home.

b) Log on to the internet and give a running commentary to a load of strangers on what you have done, remain there whilst your DD cries in the bathroom and wonder why people think you might have made it up.

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 17:28:28

could have got anywhere - anywhere!

Am still not entirely convinced.

Where is Mars?

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:29:43

I haven't seen any gerbil threads, I mainly read the pregnancy ones as I am 16 weeks at the moment. Why would I read a thread about a gerbil?

I am just going to ignore the people who don't believe me. What is worse though is that some of you do believe me and are STILL laughing about it. That is just cruel!

DizzyBint Thu 09-Nov-06 17:30:03

so lapauvre what lessons have you learned from today's events??

i must not keep animals in the kitchen

i must check the contents of casserole dish before i go in with the blender

i must think it odd if my chicken casserole is hairy

i must stop eating my chicken casserole when a hairy hamster floats to the surface

Carmenere Thu 09-Nov-06 17:30:06

Mars, Hunker or Blu, which one? I'm going for HM because she has hamster knowledge

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:31:05

She isn't crying any more she is eating her tea. She is still very upset though, wouldn't your child be if their pet was missing? Some of you aren't for real, never mind not believing me.

Saturn74 Thu 09-Nov-06 17:31:20

LOL at Blu's post.

Hilarious mirth at LaPauvre's determination to maintain the anonymity of the hamster!

Eating her tea?????????????!!!!!!!!!

intergalacticwalrus Thu 09-Nov-06 17:31:47

She's not eating the casserole is she?

DizzyBint Thu 09-Nov-06 17:31:54

did u check her tea before you gave it to her?

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 17:32:37

Blu wants again cuts to the heart of the issue

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:32:50

If I told you his name what would be the point? It would just be something else to laugh and be spiteful about. My daughter chose his name and it means something to her, so I don't want people taking the mickey any more than you already are.

Baconbaps Thu 09-Nov-06 17:33:03

You sure you're pregnant and not just digesting a stoat?

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 17:33:31
intergalacticwalrus Thu 09-Nov-06 17:33:42
MerlinsBeard Thu 09-Nov-06 17:33:47

Are hamsters safe to eat in pregnancy??

Saturn74 Thu 09-Nov-06 17:34:19

Now awaiting 'please don't laugh, but I think I may have mixed up my mooncup and my chinchilla, I am so upset' rival thread.

DizzyBint Thu 09-Nov-06 17:34:25

yes as long as they are pasteurised

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:34:57

Please don't drag my pregnancy into this. Some of you might be forgetting that real people post on here, this is very sad and upsetting for my family, not a joke.

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 17:35:26

just seen this in gerbil thread

kittythescarygoblin on Friday, 20 October, 2006 9:19:12 PM
"Perhaps we should just get a hamster next time, not quite as speedy, especially if we find a nice fat one Ohh sounds like I am planning to eat it"

Tutter Thu 09-Nov-06 17:35:31

or maybe he was called

bob

or

dunk

or

stu

7up Thu 09-Nov-06 17:36:18

Lapauvre, stop posting if its upsetting, you cant blame people for having a laugh can you. just post on here tomorow morning when hammy comes home

intergalacticwalrus Thu 09-Nov-06 17:36:35

SPRAY at Bob!!!!

ROFL!

Real people do indeed post.. but often, they like to namechange for a laff...

(Don't forget that some Mners have the power/authoritsation to see who you really are! )

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 17:37:02

Tutter you are very very brave being on this thread .. very brave indeed

Baconbaps Thu 09-Nov-06 17:37:04

If you're that upset go and comfort your daughter. It's not our fault you ate a rodent.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:37:44

Actually I think I can blame people for having a laugh if it is at my and my dd's expense, I know it might be funny in a book or on TV or something but this happened today, and my dd is gutted, so I don't understand why people are being so mean. I like MN and it often makes me laugh, but I was not expecting this!

Tutter Thu 09-Nov-06 17:38:09

<<snicker>> twiglett

me, pleading not to go in the stew

MerlinsBeard Thu 09-Nov-06 17:38:18

pasteurised hamsters....LOL

My sides hurt, i snorted my cuppa down my nose (and that bloody hurt) adn my jaw is aching.

Thank you LP real or not you have cheered me up no end.

Blu Thu 09-Nov-06 17:38:35

Honestly Lepauvre, if you ate DairyLea Lunchables like everybody else, none of this would have happened.

I AM sorry for your poor daughter, am still a bit worried about the absent cat - but think you need to get a grip. Post the casserole recipe - complete with it's little amuese-gueule - on the Recipes Board, and move on.

To the next course....

Flamesparrow Thu 09-Nov-06 17:38:43

Hmmm... Mars was talking to me - but I think that was in the gap whent he daughter was being told.

southeastastra Thu 09-Nov-06 17:38:50

people are suspicious today, go and comfort your daughter, or look for the hammy!! don't take it personally

intergalacticwalrus Thu 09-Nov-06 17:39:03

<<Intergalacticwalrus eyes the stew and dumplings she has prepared for dinner with suspicion>>

I love Mumsnet!

beckybrastraps Thu 09-Nov-06 17:39:14

You give a thread the title "I think I may have eaten dd's hamster" and you didn't expect this?!

MerlinsBeard Thu 09-Nov-06 17:39:19

go and comfort ur DD then. telling a lot of cyber strangers about it is really odd

You were NOT exepcting it??? BUT YOU PUT 'PLEASE DON'T LAUGH' IN THE TITLE!!!!

You are getting all twisted up now LP..

Carmenere Thu 09-Nov-06 17:39:46

No one is laughing at your dd, we are laughing at the bizarre situation, oh ok we are laughing at you

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 17:39:55

I, of course, am totally safe as I am a real, if mis-spelt, foodstuff

It''s moments like this that make (online) life worth living!

Chandra Thu 09-Nov-06 17:40:54

Don't know if this would help, some friends lost their hamster and because they had 2 cats they did asume the worst, anyways, 3 months later they were watching TV when the hamster happily went out of the kitchen into the bedroom. The thing had built a nest under one of the beds and had learned to find his own food... so, there's hope! I wouldn't worry about eating him, I don't imagine hair to be easy to swallow. And... you would have seen him when you put the vegetables, belive me, they don't dive so if he was there he should have been floating in the surface.

Blu Thu 09-Nov-06 17:41:19

Didn't Titania have a gerbil crisis?

And met with some slight insensitivity?

MerlinsBeard Thu 09-Nov-06 17:41:42

hang on.....heres ur first mistake....warmed up chicken CASSEROLE from y'day. firstly why the bones if its left overs? and since when did bones go in casserole???

There are small rodent crises.... and then there are those who allegedly EAT their small rodents without noticing...

eenysugarplumfairy Thu 09-Nov-06 17:43:33

couldnt you find the skull in the casserole?

And why were you eating yours at 3pm in the afternoon?

And then re heating an already re heated casserole (ignoring the fact that there was a possible unwanted ingredient in it notwithstanding!) to give to your family members..

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 17:44:01

chicken casseroles are far tastier if made with meat on the bone .. you can easily remove leg bones before serving to kids if you want

Tutter Thu 09-Nov-06 17:45:30

and if you want them to taste even meatier you can add a marmitey snack stick, much like a bouquet garni, to the pot

<<raises eyebrows in warning fashion to no-one in particular>>

bob the hamster. I love it.

MerlinsBeard Thu 09-Nov-06 17:48:18

bob the hamster....can u eat it...bob the hamster....YES YOU CAN









I must stop posting i must stop posting

7up Thu 09-Nov-06 17:49:26

i had a boyfriend called bob, used to call him big bob coz he was well hung . totally irrelevant to the thread

Galmum Thu 09-Nov-06 17:49:44

Do NOT meintion that the hamster may have fallen in the casserole under any circumstances - that is pretty grim and upsetting. Just tell the hamster has escaped and maybe in the house somewhere.

It will be upsetting for your dd, but she'll get over it. Kids are pretty tough. Let's face it - you probably won't have a great evening tonight but lots of cuddles/ a favourite story etc should do the trick. Just DO NOT tell her about the hot pot!

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 17:51:04
LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:53:02

No, it was half of a casserole left over from yesterday, and I do casserole chicken pieces with the bones in, it's better for flavour! It was quite thick and brown in colour so I don't know whether I would have seen him or not . I didn't eat it all, I threw what was left in the rubbish because I didn't think it would be safe to heat it up a second time.

Blu Thu 09-Nov-06 17:53:02

I can see that it is vey difficult talking to children about this kind of tragedy, Lepauvre, and I do sympathise.
Have you seen the Babette Cole book - Mummy Ate My Pet? maybe that could help your dd come to terms with it?

wannaBe1974 Thu 09-Nov-06 17:53:20

ok ... I have a friend who actually boiled her hamster. She was cleaning the cage with ve hot water and the hamster was running along the surface and fell into the sink with the hot water. It squealed as it fell in (so she tells it). She managed to get it straight out and unfortunately it had to be put to sleep, but what I'm trying to say is that if hammy, or is that cocky
fell into the chicken you would probably have known about it. In order to fall into a saucepan he would have had to climb up the side and then fall in - highly unlikely.

Either you are

a: making the whole thing up for a laugh,

or

b: the hamster did escape and as you can't find it you're being totally irassional and assuming you ate it. Reality is *you could not have eaten the hamster without noticing it*

galmum - there is absoluetly no way in hell the hamster fell into the casserole. hamsters are cleverer than that apart from anything else.

iota Thu 09-Nov-06 17:54:27

I've just made meatballs - and I have just realised that I haven't seen the cat for ages.

What can I tell the children?

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 17:54:43

LOL Blu

LaPauvre YOU DIDN'T EAT THE BLEEDIN HAMSTER, OK

chicken bones are rather a lot fatter than hamster bones though aren't they?

wannaBe1974 Thu 09-Nov-06 17:54:53

maybe the hamster's name is doodle (cock a doodle do)

Saturn74 Thu 09-Nov-06 17:55:03

<<splutter>>

Babette Cole!

Blu Thu 09-Nov-06 17:55:19

Just a thought - he's not wedged in the toaster, by any chance?

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 17:55:56

Perhaps SP, if hamsters are clever, it's all a diversion tactic and it's actually just scarpered

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:56:09

ShinyHappy, it wasn't to give my family, I had some of it for lunch, it was only last night's it wasn't unhygienic to eat it, and I threw the rest away. Why are people trying to trip me up and interrogating me? I am telling the truth.

I won;t tell my dd about the casserole, it would break her heart and give her nightmares. Which I am sure would have you all in stitches.

holidaymum Thu 09-Nov-06 17:56:26

Oooh just waiting for Sallystrawberries what are you haveing for dinner thread
Hammy has to be hiding somewhere.

What are the current guidlines on eating hamster during pregnancy anyway?

Tutter Thu 09-Nov-06 17:56:51

i was helping an ex b move out of his student flat many moons ago and i turned his toaster over to shake out crumbs

you guessed it - a crispy mouse fell out

euw - i had been eating toast all that year [queasy emoticon]

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 17:57:00

It's Ok as long as pasterised.

iota Thu 09-Nov-06 17:57:03

I don't think my cat would fit in the toaster Blu - he's a bit of a fatso

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 17:58:18

I did check the toaster, he wasn't there

I checked the kettle too, it has a wide spout, but he wasn't there either.

WhizzBangCaligula Thu 09-Nov-06 17:59:40

7Up, don't assume that your ex being well-hung has no relevance to the thread. It may well have a relevance which will only be revealed many posts later...

wannaBe1974 Thu 09-Nov-06 17:59:59

lp the reason people don't believe you is because it's totally impossible for you to have cooked and then eaten a hamster without realizing it.

right gotta cook ds' dinner .... oh bloody hell where is the dog? could my labrador have climbed into the pasta pot?

Salamander Thu 09-Nov-06 18:00:32

This has finally helped me understand the tiny human skulls that turned up in the ghoulash last month!

Borrowers...

Thank you

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 18:00:33

Caligula I hope you're not suggesting....









Hamster abuse

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 18:00:53

Actually I'm bored now

nobody is alughing at the fact the hamster escaped, LP. we're laughing at the fact that you are even entertaining the possibility that you ate it without kowing. because you didn't.

niceglasses Thu 09-Nov-06 18:01:37

Wow - a fantastic ready made dinner party story.

"Well, listen to this. Don't larff now. But I ate my daughters hamster. I did. No honest."

The best I can do is I set fire to Bez's hair.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 18:01:43

But I am totally genuine. Just give a thought to how much heart all this mickey-taking is causing.

But thank you to those who have been kind. I would have thought there would have been more of you. If he did jump into my casserole it won't have been a very humane death, how do you think that makes me feel?

nogoes Thu 09-Nov-06 18:02:54

Get a grip woman!! Of course you haven't eaten the hamster you would have choked on the fur. Your cooking must be bloody appalling .

Salamander Thu 09-Nov-06 18:04:08

I truly believe that this little hamster suddenly woke up to the knowledge of the madhouse he was living in and made a bid for freedom...

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 18:05:00

arrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhstopitarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhormakeitmoreinterestingarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhdullerthandullsvillearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 18:05:39

It is getting a bit groundhog day isn't it.

WhizzBangCaligula Thu 09-Nov-06 18:05:40

I think he's gone outside to throw footballs at the cat...

MerlinsBeard Thu 09-Nov-06 18:05:40

how the hell would he have jumped all that way up to the saucepan? how would he have got in the pan? think about it, its just not liekjy AT ALL taht u ate it. 1 hour would not have been long enough to dissolve the meat off the bones, it would have floated for a while and the hair could well have been yours.

Saturn74 Thu 09-Nov-06 18:05:48

Perhaps he didn't like living with a family of trolls, packed his hamster knapsack and headed for the bright lights of Hamsterdam?

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 18:05:51

ooo look how wide I just made it

Californifrau Thu 09-Nov-06 18:06:25

YOU ATE THE BORROWERS? .
I shall now longer be able to post on the smae threads as you Salamander. Poor Arrietty

has anyone seen nutcracker?

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 18:06:40

stupid is as stupid does

life is like a box of chocolates

MerlinsBeard Thu 09-Nov-06 18:06:46

likey even

wannaBe1974 Thu 09-Nov-06 18:06:49

so you're so upset by the fact that you've done this, and the fact that no-one believes you could have eaten the hamster, that you're staying here to post on the thread that you posted while you should actually have been looking for the hamster and then comforting your daughter.

yeah right.

am bored now too

katierocket Thu 09-Nov-06 18:07:04

Got to agree. Salamander that's pretty low.

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 18:07:08

SenoraP .. did someone eat nutcracker

I think she ate Joanne23 didn't she?

lou33 Thu 09-Nov-06 18:09:25

can hamsters jump high enough to land in a cooking pot?

Salamander Thu 09-Nov-06 18:09:26

I apologise for eating the Borrowers.
It ws an honest mistake.

I turned my back for five minutes, that's all.

They must have jumped in, mistaking my Hungarian ghoulash for a jacuzzi and...

well the rest is gastranomic history...

shebnem Thu 09-Nov-06 18:09:29

i dont think you have eaten it LaPauvre, dont worry.
you would have noticed it in the food, if it was in it.
i think it will come out from somewhere and yr dd will be happy.
can you put a food it likes to eat to a corner so it comes out.
anyway you will remember this in the future and maybe laugh.
i can guess it is not laughable for you now.

holidaymum Thu 09-Nov-06 18:09:30

we had nutcracker for tea in a casserole with some fava beans and a nice chianti!

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 18:11:21

Thanks shebnem.

Salamander Thu 09-Nov-06 18:11:55

Surely MN Towers have to pick this thread up for the MN Newsletter...

"Have any of you MNers out there mistakenly eaten your pets?"

eenysugarplumfairy Thu 09-Nov-06 18:12:57

Ladies & Gentlemen, here we have HAMSTERGATE!

Baconbaps Thu 09-Nov-06 18:15:59

If you don't want people to take the piss then don't post on a public forum. What on earth did you expect? If this isn't a wind up then you haven't eaten it, it's escaped, DD will get over it - it's only a hamster FFS. You've had sympathy and good advice amongst the sniggering so get off the flickin' PC (seeing as it's been coming up to 3 hours since you first posted) and go and COMFORT YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!!

southeastastra Thu 09-Nov-06 18:16:58

it does remind me a bit of dumbfluffgate

eenysugarplumfairy Thu 09-Nov-06 18:17:28

As I said... HAMSTERGATE

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 18:21:02

Baconbaps. You're very harsh.

Baconbaps Thu 09-Nov-06 18:23:36

You still here?

Salamander Thu 09-Nov-06 18:25:12

Why are you still on the PC LaPauvre?

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 18:26:41

I am still here, my dd is on the rug next to me watching bedtime hour and my dh is washing up, I have my pc in the lounge, so what? What are all you doing here, don't you have children?

wheresthehamster Thu 09-Nov-06 18:29:48

I am sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks. Thanks for cheering me up!

I'm sure it's already been said but to sit at a computer posting when you are in the middle of a hamster crisis sounds a bit fishy to me.

PS. Just realised that my name is very apt for this thread!

WaitingForGodKnows Thu 09-Nov-06 18:31:11

Have you got a red rug? It may be under there. I hear small furry rodent-types are partial to home furnishings of that type.

Baconbaps Thu 09-Nov-06 18:31:49

I'm just being realistic. It's a hamster. Get over it. Worse things happen to people you know. You haven't eaten it and if you did it's done now.

Blu Thu 09-Nov-06 18:32:31

I have been Googling to see if there is any help for you, Lepauvre. I found a link to Hamsterline and HamsterAid - but neither are working.

Anyway - I'm actually wondering whether we shouldn't report you to the RSPCA.

Saturn74 Thu 09-Nov-06 18:32:56

Some of us do have children, some of us don't - but at least we know where all our rodents are!

PinkTulips Thu 09-Nov-06 18:36:42

well i've just burned the dinner reading this thread, lol.

find it vastly amusing to imagine someone could actually be stupid enough to think they ate their hamster without noticing! and that casserole sounds vile!

(((waves))) hello sal, haven't seen you around lately, eeny and ds keeping you busy?

holidaymum Thu 09-Nov-06 18:38:48

'Fraid I'd be worrying more about the affects of ungutted hamster in pregnancy if it was me! But then it can't have happened so thats ok.

I certainly wouldn't be posting on here if i had an upset child. As it is mine are happily playing together as they are not currently distressed.

Blandmum Thu 09-Nov-06 18:39:55



doesn't notice small skeleton, fur, intestines, eyes, hamster shit.

hate to think what food usually tastes like if you didn't notice!

southeastastra Thu 09-Nov-06 18:41:43

i was going to post a hamster skeleton pic, but probably bad taste

Blandmum Thu 09-Nov-06 18:43:11

I actually found a picture of a hamster in a sandwitch, be also decided that it was in very poor taste (no pun intended)

happybiggirl Thu 09-Nov-06 18:47:38

Message withdrawn

Blu Thu 09-Nov-06 18:48:28

MB - to be honest, I think it would be very public spirited of you to post a link to a pic of a hamster sandwich. If we can learn what one looks like, you could save countless MN-ers from making the same mistake that LePauvre has.

holidaymum Thu 09-Nov-06 18:48:47

depends whether you deep fry it or serve it in a cream sauce.

Blandmum Thu 09-Nov-06 18:49:01

'Wild' organic hamster would be quite lean.

'Factory farmed' would be a bit more fatty, I think

happybiggirl Thu 09-Nov-06 18:49:26

Message withdrawn

Blandmum Thu 09-Nov-06 18:49:38

Blu I have already had one post deleted today, do you think I should???

holidaymum Thu 09-Nov-06 18:49:56

I suppose caged hamster is the home rearers equivalent of battery farming?

iota Thu 09-Nov-06 18:50:33

surely 'factory farmed' hamster would be lean if they all had an exercise wheel to work out on

PyroPaps Thu 09-Nov-06 18:52:43

a sandwitch would have hamster in it, a sandwich would not

Blandmum Thu 09-Nov-06 18:52:55
Blu Thu 09-Nov-06 18:53:25

MB - I don't think scientists should be censored by issues of 'taste'. Facts are facts, and we need to know them.

And if you get told off by MNHQ, tell them I told you to do it

Blu Thu 09-Nov-06 18:55:34

I am so pleased you linked to the 'control' image, too. I now feel quite confident that I can tell the difference between a Ham sandwich and a Hamster sandwich. Thank you.


And PMSL!!!!

southeastastra Thu 09-Nov-06 18:55:57

that hamster is well and truly toast.

Carmenere Thu 09-Nov-06 18:57:45

PMSL MB

GraceUnderFire Thu 09-Nov-06 19:00:36

Could it have got outside and been run over...maybe by a van?

holidaymum Thu 09-Nov-06 19:01:20

dh says surely hamster is better than chicken as everyone gets a leg, albeit it being small!

happybiggirl Thu 09-Nov-06 19:05:34

Message withdrawn

Baconbaps Thu 09-Nov-06 19:06:35

Heh! And I'm the one who gets accused of being harsh!

It may be wise to remind LePauvre at this point that Ratatouille does not contain real rats. And that a dog is not just for Christmas...there may be some left over for Boxing Day too if you're lucky.

SnafuOutOfHiding Thu 09-Nov-06 19:06:38

Ahhh. Mumsnet.

The more it changes, the more it stays the same.

{grin]

SnafuOutOfHiding Thu 09-Nov-06 19:06:57

Oh, arse.

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 19:06:57

why a van?

I know there's a joke in there soemwhere

hamster-van?

what is it? I don't geddit <wails>

iota Thu 09-Nov-06 19:07:04

In case anyone was worried - I have now seen my cat, so he wasn't in teh meatballs after all.

Wannabee - have you found your labrodor yet?

GraceUnderFire Thu 09-Nov-06 19:07:27

It's Blackadder, Twig...

Baldrick:
Would you like some rat au vin to help you think?

Blackadder:
Rat...au vin?

Baldrick:
Yeah, it's rat that's been...

Blackadder:
...run over by a van.

happybiggirl Thu 09-Nov-06 19:07:36

Message withdrawn

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 19:09:09

aha

thanks for explanantion

Twiglett Thu 09-Nov-06 19:10:01

also lovin' 'Grace Under Fire' moniker btw

SparklyfestiveYellowFeathers Thu 09-Nov-06 19:12:34

LaPauvre
I've had 3 Hamsters that have escaped. The first one was behind a tall cabinet, the second had hidden in the pantry and chewed its way through a ton of polystyrene ceiling tiles and made a nice bed and the last one had chewed its way through the carpet in a corner of the room and got to the floorboards.

I'm 100 million per cent sure that you did'nt boil him or eat him.
Just try and explain to your dd that they can escape very easily and any gaps anywhere will be used as an exit!
I would really recommend the humane traps and I would highly recommend using Rolos to trap them with! They are meant to be the best type of food to use. Just make sure you put in a wet cotton wool ball for a drink and check the trap the second you wake in the morning.

happybiggirl Thu 09-Nov-06 19:13:32

Message withdrawn

GraceUnderFire Thu 09-Nov-06 19:14:06

Thank you

holidaymum Thu 09-Nov-06 19:15:10

lol at happy big girl.

it cannot be true, you cannot eat a hamster and think it was chicken, you would feel the bones, rib cage etc when you bite it(sorry to be graphic)
hamsters escape all the time, muine ate its way into the base of the sofa, wasn't found for
days.

If I were you I would be honest and say he has escaped and make it into a game seaching for him.
He will prob turn up quite happy

Gingerbear Thu 09-Nov-06 19:19:33

ahem, I would be more worried about chicken portions BEING BOILED UP FROM FROZEN than eating fresh poached hamster.

tiredemma Thu 09-Nov-06 19:19:47

how could you not notice a whole hamster in a casserole? He would not have broken up into small pieces- not unless you were cooking a massive pot of acid.

bizarre thread. bizarre.

WhizzBangCaligula Thu 09-Nov-06 19:21:28

Be careful with the humane trap in case you find a mouse in it instead of a hamster.

This has to be a joke surely? I am sorry, but I don't think it is real at all. Not just that the poster has not eaten a hamster - you couldn't do that and not notice - but also that there is no hamster lost. The poster's comments just don't ring true.

Oh but I wanted to say to OliveOil - your post "oh yes, I ate a whole elephant once, it wandered in from the garden, how was I to know it was in my quiche?" made me laugh more than I have done so for days. Thank you.

LittleWonder Thu 09-Nov-06 19:25:55

Screeching with laughter - ye gods this is hilarious.

she won't tell us the name because (if this is true) little girls give their hamsters names like (my daughter and her friend's names for theirs):

caramel
banoffee
cornflake
honey

It was a FOOD name I tell you, maybe it was called casserole! come on Pauvre, tell us, you know you want to...
any one for ham stir-fry?

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 19:30:40

LittleWonder is right, it was a food name. Still not funny though. Dd is in bed now and dh has gone to buy a humane trap. I hope those of you who said he is hiding in the house are right.

LittleWonder Thu 09-Nov-06 19:31:23

PLEASE what food name???

Aw come on LePauvre, it was funny, but getting a bit dull now. Let on who you really are!

lindac Thu 09-Nov-06 19:32:37

hamsters can get into the smallest holes mine did once, it will come out when humgry you will hear it running around in the night thats when there at there noisiest?

LittleWonder Thu 09-Nov-06 19:33:13

Oh just give us a clue about its food name PLEASE...
Was it a sweet or savour dish?
A fruit?
what does it begin with?

Mellowma Thu 09-Nov-06 19:33:31

Message withdrawn

WideWebWitch Thu 09-Nov-06 19:34:02

<snort> at this thread!

<sidles back in>

Hello WWW! When did you reappear?

iota Thu 09-Nov-06 19:34:59

www

Mellowma Thu 09-Nov-06 19:35:10

Message withdrawn

Blandmum Thu 09-Nov-06 19:36:06

good to see you back www, I've missed you!

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 19:36:23

LittleWonder why do you want to know what the poor little thing's name was? Just let it rest.

lucy5 Thu 09-Nov-06 19:36:44

This isn't Mars again, is it?

Carmenere Thu 09-Nov-06 19:36:58

Great to see you www It's not you is it?

WideWebWitch Thu 09-Nov-06 19:37:10

God, it's like bloody crack, mumsnet. But worse (pinched from someone else, can't remember who, may have been willow)

Blandmum Thu 09-Nov-06 19:37:53

I flounced once, couldn't stay away

WideWebWitch Thu 09-Nov-06 19:37:59

No, no, LePauvre, certainly isn't me, no, no.
This thread is hilarious.

WideWebWitch Thu 09-Nov-06 19:39:22

I meant "LePauvre isn't me"

LittleWonder Thu 09-Nov-06 19:39:34

LaPauvre, I really want to know the creature's name. If you just tell me, I promise to tell you why I want to know.

happybiggirl Thu 09-Nov-06 19:40:27

Message withdrawn

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 19:41:11

His name was Popcorn. OK?

WideWebWitch Thu 09-Nov-06 19:41:35

<splutter>

tortoise Thu 09-Nov-06 19:42:30

Popcorn!(or cock porn as a friends DS calls it!) PMSL!

ComeOVeneer Thu 09-Nov-06 19:42:56

LOL at cock porn.

Blandmum Thu 09-Nov-06 19:43:37

ah that old supper standby

ragoût de maîs éclaté

tiredemma Thu 09-Nov-06 19:43:51

oh dear, ive just wee'd a little, think I need a Tena lady.

mousiemousie Thu 09-Nov-06 19:44:21

Did you have Freddie Starr round for dinner?

Gingerbear Thu 09-Nov-06 19:44:57

lol @ tiredemma.
and cock porn

tortoise Thu 09-Nov-06 19:45:20

tiredemma That made me lol!

StrawberryMoon Thu 09-Nov-06 19:46:37

am going against my gut instinct here!!..but........

hampsters come back when hungry..leave a trail of food leading to his/her cage and it'll go back..you just have to be ready to close lid again!
we once had one that was'lost'(not in any form of foodstuffs tho!) for weeks, hed bitten a hole into mums side board at back, made a nest and came out each night for food!..took us fecking ages to catch the little blighter!

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 19:50:18

OMG, La Pauvre. I can't believe the lack of support you are receiving on your first post to MN. Really, laydees this is shocking. Her kids have feelings too you know. If this is how we welcome newbies who have potentially ate blended hampster brain, I really exasperate. Can't you find a little bit of compassion for a stranger ? Why not give her the benefit of the doubt, huh ? La Pauvre, I am a vegetarian and animal lover so I can really relate to your situation. . I am also half French so I can really relate to your name.

Oh, I am so angry about all this. La Pauvre, do you want me to come over and help you look ? I know it's late, but the quicker we can start the search the better. I am in North London. You ? If I am too far I'm sure we could get another mumsnetter to help. Twiglett is in South London, and I know she's been a little brusque on here, but I've met her and she's lovely, and she'd come out. Hunker is kind of in another direction, but we'd kind of have London mostly covered, and as you can tell she knows a lot about rodents. If you're not in London there are a few MNers who live outside the big smoke, and I have no doubt at all there'd be a few who could come and help.

Really hoping we can help you, tonight if possible.

<big hugs>

LittleWonder Thu 09-Nov-06 19:50:27

blimey, is it just me or have more people realized they need to do more pelvic floor exercises?

lindac Thu 09-Nov-06 19:54:04

ludaloo pmsl

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 19:55:26

I'm grateful for your kindness hub2dee but I don't live in London

Saturn74 Thu 09-Nov-06 19:56:36

He was called Popcorn?

Surely there would have been lots of noise then, if he did fall into the casserole?

kittywits Thu 09-Nov-06 19:56:49

Poor you, sorry everyone's taking the piss
Rodents can squeeze into the tiniest of spaces, infact seemingly impossibly small ones. You would have noticed it in the pot. Hope it turns up soon.

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 19:59:37

Where do you live ? There are MNers all over the place. None have the expertise of hunker, or the pure snack appeal of Twiglett, but I'm sure we can find you someone. All they need is a torch and a big heart.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 20:00:47

I'm not telling you lot where I live. You're all crackers.

tiredemma Thu 09-Nov-06 20:01:52

stuart little used to drive a car!- so if popcorn has any such ambitions- he could be anywhere

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 20:03:01

Just ignore the mental instability and focus on the hampster ! We need to find the hampster.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 20:04:03

OMG the toilet I forgot to check the toilet! Oh

StrawberryMoon Thu 09-Nov-06 20:04:09

LOL TM..LOL

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 20:08:03

No, popcorn won't be in the toilet. But do you have a larder ? A grain store ? I bet pph has a grain store. Do you have a place where you store newspapers ? They love newspaper. Their best one is the FT because something in the pink ink tastes nice apparently ! Do you have any copies of the FT ? (I like their weekend magazine).

I take it you didn't find him in the toilet ?

happybiggirl Thu 09-Nov-06 20:08:46

Message withdrawn

southeastastra Thu 09-Nov-06 20:09:54

this is turning barmy

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 20:10:16

No, but ds has been a couple of times and I don't think he looks before he flushes, he is only 3

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 20:10:21



Do you know where your car keys are? COuld Popcorn have taken them in a desperate attempt to escape?

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 20:10:22

I just read your name as happybigirl and thought 'fabulous' LOL.

WhizzBangCaligula Thu 09-Nov-06 20:11:55

LOL at this thread being the one to lure WWW back!

Hurray!

Well done LePauvre.

Kelly1978 Thu 09-Nov-06 20:12:07

oh god and I was starting to half believe her!

any plumbers nearby to check the u bend for lapeurve on mn?

happybiggirl Thu 09-Nov-06 20:12:13

Message withdrawn

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 20:12:18

They all look because they like to follow their 'gifts'.

So you don't have a grain store ?

Any luck with the newspaper pile ?

I have packed my torch. I have wheels and a full tank of petrol. 'Any animal, however big or small' is my phrase. 'Les grands et les petits'.

Ellaroo Thu 09-Nov-06 20:13:37

You first posted at 3.30pm....has no one really been to the loo since then?...surely your daughter would have noticed him while she was in the bathroom crying earlier?

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 20:14:06

Of course I don't have a grain store. What sort of person has a grain store?

I thought you were being kind but you are just as mean as everyone else.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 20:15:00

Ellaroo my dd was crying in the bathroom not the toilet.

TheHighwayCod Thu 09-Nov-06 20:15:21

this is a farking stupid thread

happybiggirl Thu 09-Nov-06 20:15:28

Message withdrawn

TroubleAndStrife Thu 09-Nov-06 20:16:41

OMG no KFC nearby is there......they do POPCORN CHICKEN....OR SO THEY SAY

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 20:17:30

I have a grain store. It's in my shed. I have seed for the bird feeders. If you're in the country you might have horses and have their feed stored somewhere too. They can smell it a mile off. This is not a wind up.

I take it you don't have newspapers ? I can understand that as I only read the news on the Web too because it means less paper is wasted which saves trees and more trees means less global warming which means the ice is thicker and the polar bear won't drown, so it all adds up.

kittywits Thu 09-Nov-06 20:18:13

If it makes you feel better my ds squashed his gerbil with a bucket the other week

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 20:19:26

Why cod ? Because it's not about shawls and halter-neck tops ?

This is about a LIVE ANIMAL. Well, a potentially live animal if it hasn't been blended by Brian.

Don't you have any compassion ?

Carmenere Thu 09-Nov-06 20:19:31

Ok now you have reached over 500 posts you can reveal yourself.........Please

WhizzBangCaligula Thu 09-Nov-06 20:19:33

Pharoah had a grain store. Joseph sorted it.

GraceUnderFire Thu 09-Nov-06 20:20:24

LaPauvre - do you still think you ate it or do you now think it's just lost?

TheHighwayCod Thu 09-Nov-06 20:20:46

shawls???
men

TroubleAndStrife Thu 09-Nov-06 20:21:08

kittywits.....not a bargain bucket from kfc I hope

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 20:21:14

"blended by Brian."

huh?

Just got back to this. POPCORN! Splutter! that just proves it is a piss take. Don't we all say, who's got the popcron when a thread is blowing up?

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 20:21:55

"blended by Brian."

huh?

GraceUnderFire Thu 09-Nov-06 20:22:20

Remember the thread about the little girl with her toe stuck in the bath tap? Did we ever find out who that was? This thread reminds me of that one.

kittywits Thu 09-Nov-06 20:22:42

T&S

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 20:22:44

oops.

poppynboo Thu 09-Nov-06 20:23:40

LP - if you are genuine, and you can't find fault for people being suspicious, at 16 weeks your hormones are shot to hell so your bound to be sensitive. Hopefully you'll be able to look back on this and laugh too sometime soon.
As far as dd goes, its not bad for her to experience some sort of loss at this age. It'll help prepare her for when she loses someone close like a grandparent, try and see it as something she'll learn from.

As for having eaten, try and think clearly and logically - its not really possible is it.

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 20:24:15

'Throws' then, cod. And snoods. Frivolous decorative enhancements.

WWB had a Brian instead of a Brain caboose.

WhizzBangCaligula Thu 09-Nov-06 20:25:31

If I'd eaten a hamster when 16 weeks pregnant, I'd at least call NHS Direct

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 20:25:37

If it was blended up and the soup had some added salt, which we all know we shouldn't, but heck it's tasteless without, I reckon you could easily have ate a hampster esp. with the chicken bones too.

GraceUnderFire Thu 09-Nov-06 20:26:57

You really couldn't eat a grandparent by mistake though, could you?

GraceUnderFire Thu 09-Nov-06 20:27:23

No matter how long you cooked it.

southeastastra Thu 09-Nov-06 20:27:40

haha wbc!

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 20:27:56

Woops... throws go on sofas, don't they. Swishy capes. Saw a woman today at Weight Watchers, she had fabulous tan boots, tight on her calf, up to her knees (she took them off for weigh-in), and when she put them back on, she covered them with her jeans. They could have been just a few inches tall, really. What a shame.

This is related to hampster blending I am sure of that.

kittywits Thu 09-Nov-06 20:28:25

It's meat though isn't it, probably quite low in fat too.

galaxy Thu 09-Nov-06 20:29:41

Ha ha. I was feeling really grumpy before I saw this thread. dh is sitting here wondering why I have tears streaming down my face. Wish I was as witty as you lot!

Furball Thu 09-Nov-06 20:30:10

I wonder how many weight watchers points a hamster is?

GraceUnderFire Thu 09-Nov-06 20:31:12

If anyone knows the calories and saturated fat I can work it out on my WeightWatchers points calculator.

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 20:31:13

I've just realised if the boots are tight, you can't get trousers into them, can you ?

kittywits Thu 09-Nov-06 20:32:45

The points would depend on how it is cooked. Blende in a stew with no added fat can't be too bad. deep fried is a no no.

TroubleAndStrife Thu 09-Nov-06 20:35:40

Right time for some sanity....you need a pile of muesli (alpen of course its fab) 1 dustbin lid....1 short stick aprox 8" and a length of string.
Now for the fun part place said muesli in centre of kitchen floor, place dustbin lid above said muesli propped up by said stick....with said string tied to stick.....retire to a safe distance (with a bottle of wine) and wait.

when the fugitive rodent smells FAB said muesli.....he will POP out of hiding.

when fugitive rodent reaches pile of FAB muesli pull said string thus removing stick and trapping POPCORN under said dustbin lid.

Return POPCORN to cage and secure.

This method tried and tested by Dh who assures me it works pmsl

foundintranslation Thu 09-Nov-06 20:36:01

This is so a regular. I have my suspicions (but will not voice them).

Carmenere Thu 09-Nov-06 20:37:13

Hub, have you been perving at some poor womans boots in weight watchers? Tut.

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 20:38:59

Attendance at weight watchers always needs incentives. I was just pondering the fantastic boots.

batters Thu 09-Nov-06 20:39:32

My ds dropped a wardrobe on the school gerbil (I think) about 32 years ago.

Thank goodness Mumsnet wasn't around then. Can you imagine it. MIL posting, and this sort of response. Tut, tut.

And does no-one care that if lapauvre has eaten a hamster she has also eaten hamster poo and wee? That would be enough to send me to a & e.

<<welcome back www>>>

LittleWonder Thu 09-Nov-06 20:40:56

Cannot do link for the popcorn song, can someone technofied help? www.popcorn-song.com I did see this on this site:


"Mash-ups
Some interesting mash-ups have surfaced during the years. Here are some. If you have more, let me know."

My daughter knelt on her hamster the first day it was out of its cage, I couldn't go into the room to face it, but I went out side to weep with laughter.....

hoxohoxohoxo Thu 09-Nov-06 20:43:10

Have read the thread and am of firm opinion that hamster was suicidal.
He filleted himself. Sprinkled on some garlic and pepper, waved goodbye to the world and jumped in.
Check under the ever revolving wheel, you'll likley find a little note. The writing will be bad, hamsters will find it difficult to hold a biro, but given that he was obviously a tortured little soul I'm sure it will be eloquent, poignant and sad.

Same for the elephant. Or maybe he was just looking for some cheese and eggs.

either way - thanks for the chuckle today.

happybiggirl Thu 09-Nov-06 20:55:49

Message withdrawn

hamstermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 21:05:51

All right, all right, I confess! Distracted you lot from Cowmad though, didn't it?!

tiredemma Thu 09-Nov-06 21:08:59

hunker - you are naughty

MrsBojangles Thu 09-Nov-06 21:09:50

I think it was brilliant! dd kept asking mama why are you laughing and I just couldn't tell her! she's 4 and has hamsters ... hmmm they're nice and fat atm so probably would taste nice on a spit

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:11:24

It isn't hunkermunker!

FrostytheSnowman Thu 09-Nov-06 21:11:59

Mumsnet is ACE!

Sorry-shouldn't laugh really but am watching Catherine Tate at the same time.




<Tis a joke.................isn't it?>

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:13:53

No it isn't hunkermunker is lying!

hamstermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 21:16:15



As if I'd ever lie!

saadia Thu 09-Nov-06 21:16:19

crikey this is still going. Honestly if I thought I had eaten a hamster that climbed into my cooking I would be vomiting non-stop and feeling incredibly disgusted and not remotely worried about the effect on anyone else, but then I can't bear animals.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:16:48

You are lying hunkermunker

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 21:18:12

Can you please stop hounding this woman ?

Hunker, do you really think this is funny ? I don't think this is the place. Really. We could be talking about a soul.

hamstermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 21:18:14

Surely I'm not - I had "hamstermunker" all picked out days ago for this one!

southeastastra Thu 09-Nov-06 21:18:36

for gawds sake

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:20:00

Yes Hunkermunker. Actually I do think animals have souls. So you are being disrespectful as well as a liar.

Californifrau Thu 09-Nov-06 21:21:22

If this is you Hunkermunker then I would seek help about the arguing with yourself problem!

saggarmakersbottomknocker Thu 09-Nov-06 21:22:36

PMSL!!...This is a MN classic

Welcome back WWW.

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 21:22:49

She thinks she's such a matriarch on here, LP.

I'd rather be pro animals than pro bf any day. Why don't you get your priority right ? With formula, a child can survive. With a blender, Brian's had it.

saggarmakersbottomknocker Thu 09-Nov-06 21:24:09

Oh stop it hub, you're killing me!

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 09-Nov-06 21:24:24

Live and let live I always say. When in Rome, do what Romans do.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:24:25

Well I'm not much for breastfeeding anyway, dirty habit if you ask me.

I hope it makes you laugh Hunkermunker, literally dancing on the grave of my dd's pet

Wallace Thu 09-Nov-06 21:24:34

Not read whole thread (do you blame me)

My hamster finding tip: Put a pile of food in the corner of each room. Shut all the doors in the evening, and in hte morning you will hopefully at least know which room the hamster is in.

Years ago we bought a hamster for my little sister's birthday, but had to keep it for a couple of days without a proper cage. Of course it escaped, and we were convinced the dog had eaten it. It turned up a week later - by which time we had already bought dsis another one! I also know someone who lost a hamster for months, until it appeared oneday. So don't rush out to buy a new one just yet.

hamstermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 21:24:37

Thinks, Hub, thinks? I'll have you know I have alleged arse-lickers all over this site!

Er. That came out wrong.

I love hamsters, me.

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 09-Nov-06 21:25:08

Oh snotty you make me larf!

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:25:58

Do you Hunkermunker? Shall I fish him out of my bin and send him to you in a Jiffy bag?

tigermoth Thu 09-Nov-06 21:26:34

www glad the yummy hamster casserole tempted you back

Wallace Thu 09-Nov-06 21:26:39

Ahh...just read last post (cross posted) must be a joke. And there was I not wanting to laugh(like everyone else) in case in was true....

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 21:26:45

Depends on the door gap at the bottom, Wallace.

hunker you are so hoity toity, sometimes, but you are revealing yourself for the crude and uncaring person you are.

hamstermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 21:26:57

To clarify - I like them alive.

LP isn't me - I'm far wittier

hamstermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 21:28:21

HoityMunker - I like it, Hub!

Come on, LP, pull yer mask off and say you'd have got away with it if it wasn't for those meddling MNers.

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 21:29:06

LP - I've backed you all the way, but please don't call bf a dirty habit. . Some people just want the best for their children. Like you want the best flavour for your soup, so you try and cook nicely, and blend smoothly. It's all horses for courses.

sunchowder Thu 09-Nov-06 21:29:48

Mumsnet at its best again.....

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:30:15

I don't find you witty Hunkermunker. There's nothing witty about poking fun at people's beloved family pets being broiled and eaten. How would you like it?

foundintranslation Thu 09-Nov-06 21:30:24

I think my suspicions are right...

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 21:30:40

this sounds like rhubarb to me

doyouwantfrieswiththat Thu 09-Nov-06 21:31:01

horses for courses

is that horse d'ouevres

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 21:31:30

oh come on and own up please

foundintranslation Thu 09-Nov-06 21:31:37

No, not Rhubarb, Allie - at least I don't think so.

foxtrot Thu 09-Nov-06 21:32:32

aha - is use of the word 'broiled' a clue to identity?

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:32:42

Sshhhhhh FIT

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 09-Nov-06 21:33:00

She'd like it Medium Rare LP

foundintranslation Thu 09-Nov-06 21:33:24

Ah
<shuts up>

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 21:33:25

well, she lived in france didn't she???? le pauvre is the poor i think?? I dunno. I always say rhubarb to these spoof threads

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 21:34:18

I can't believe I've expended this much emotional energy on a wind up. Including exposing personal beliefs re: soul, bf, calf-tight boots etc.

LP you should be ashamed.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:35:08

Oh, I am, I am

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 21:35:41

pmsl

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 21:35:46

who are you, you vermin munching freak

poppynboo Thu 09-Nov-06 21:37:22

And I was all sympathetic

muppet

pinktinselanddollymixtures Thu 09-Nov-06 21:39:19

i have been sitting here reading this thread, and, regardless of how true you think it is, I think most of you should be ashamed by your attitude.

LP- I agree I dont think you could have eaten it sweetie. I believe Wallace had the best idea, when she said to put food in each room.

Please dont think that MN is full of shallow individuals who only poke fun instead of offering any real advice. Since joining I have found this a great support.

I am just sorry that you have had such a bad time on your first thread.

I hope your dd is feeling better now. Unfortunatly, as you know, Losing a pet is something that all children go through at some point. And it is upsetting when it happens.

I really do hope he is just hiding somewhere in your house (stop fretting about the casserole).

And just be aware that you could upset a lot of peope by being negative regards breastfeeding. I breastfeed my 4 month old and it is a wonderful experience and I love every minute of it.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:39:57

One does feel slight guilt towards those who were taken in and showed genuine kindness

But not much

hamstermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 21:40:59

Now howzat for a fantastic cross post

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 21:41:15

I quite agree pink. Some people, especially the matriarchs think they're so 'it'.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:41:19

pinktinsel, it was a windup. Sorry

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 21:42:00

Yeah, really funny LP. I am wetting myself.

pinktinselanddollymixtures Thu 09-Nov-06 21:42:05

just read since my post, i wasted 5 mins out of my day writing that. i was really feeling sorry for you being hounded. (can see the funny side tho!)

hamstermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 21:42:09

Out yourself, you hamster-botherer!

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 09-Nov-06 21:42:27

Hub, I think you are in danger of being told to

"Fuck off" by an 'oldie'



Non response to my post duly noted LP

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 21:42:36

I think I might have had enough of MN when compassion for souls goes, what do we honestly have left ?

Moomin Thu 09-Nov-06 21:42:50

I was just going to suggest that LP waited til she went for a poo and then pushed it through a sieve to see if she (and rest of family) could find any hammy remnants.


but i see my genuine kindness is not wanted now.

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 09-Nov-06 21:43:32

Hamster Casserole, Pirate Sex and Cats and Footballs..... i think hub

geekgrrl Thu 09-Nov-06 21:43:42

well, what a relief. didn't know what to believe.

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 09-Nov-06 21:43:56

I kinda want to end that with "These are a few of my favourite things"

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:44:04

No, Moomin, you can keep that sort of advice to yourself [blee]

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 21:44:12

well, come on

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:45:01

Shan't

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 21:45:06

<Gets in queue to apologise to pink>

But to no one else. Because pink is bf a four month old. So is fab. And if she was ff, then it would be so different.

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 21:46:18

Can't believe you don't have a grain store. Commoner.

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 09-Nov-06 21:47:05
LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:47:52

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 600

I'm off to bed

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 21:48:54

i still don't know who lp is
[bimbo emoticon]

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 09-Nov-06 21:48:58
ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 21:50:06

allie I haven't worked it out yet either and I wanna go to bed <pout>

hamstermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 21:50:16
poppynboo Thu 09-Nov-06 21:50:37

That is nasty

eurgh.

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 21:51:03

<<allie puts arm around cabooses shoulder and waits in anticipation>>
v, who is it?

hatwoman Thu 09-Nov-06 21:51:48

come on, just tell us who you are. 10/10 btw.

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 09-Nov-06 21:51:55

Check out the non response to one of my posts....

PennySweets Thu 09-Nov-06 21:52:55

LePauvre, I am fairly new to MN too, and like yourself, am often a bit shocked at how nasty and horrible some people can be on this site. However, it is easy to be like that when you're communicating over the internet, under a false name with nobody, apart from those known to you personally, knowing your email address or anything else about you.

Back to the hamster issue, I agree with most that say that you would have noticed, and hamsters can and do get into the most amazing places. We had one that got into the deepest insides of an armchair, and another that got behind a brick fireplace. Armchair and fireplace had to be dismantled to get the little blighters out. Yes really. However, if you did blend the casserole, it is, I suppose, possible that the hamster was in your food and somehow you didn't notice. The best you can do in that case, is try to get over having actually eaten it. I can imagine that you are felling pretty grossed out, and are wondering if it may have any effect on your unborn baby. I'm sure you'll be okay in that respect, but do seek advice if you're concerned. You mentioned hairs in or around the cooking pot. You have a cat, as we do, we have dogs too, and cat and dog hair gets everywhere. This might explain the hairs.

There was another lady on a thread recently, who had posted about a different, more serious issue, she too was seeking advice and reassurance, and got nothing but abuse. It's not big and it's not clever.

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:54:01

PennySweets, I apologise deeply but it was actually a wind-up . Sorry, please don't be offended!

wrinklytum Thu 09-Nov-06 21:54:17

I can contribute a sad demise of hamster tale

When I was a student I had a pet hamster.
Not being able to afford a car,I had to travel on a coach to get home for half term.
I put the hamster in a box with airholes in,and carried it on my lap on the coach.The cage went in the luggage compartment before embarking.
Halfway through the journey I nodded off.
On arriving at my destination,I stood up grabbed the box and my bag,and ambled down the aisle.My progress was halted by a kindly old gentleman,who tapped me on the shoulder and said casually "Excuse me love,I think you left something behind" pointing at my seat.Imagine my horror when on closer inspection,the thing in question was a very flat,very dead squashed hamster.It had escaped,I had sat on it and suffocated the poor thing to death.

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 21:54:24

er penny, there is no hamster, it's a piss take. V, there was one about steak and one about snot

happybiggirl Thu 09-Nov-06 21:54:41

Message withdrawn

hatwoman Thu 09-Nov-06 21:55:02

the medium rare one? looks like thats when fit sussed. but doesn't mean anything to me.

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 09-Nov-06 21:56:11

Come on manche de morves....

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 21:56:40

look, it's 9:56 and i want to go to bed, tell me now please

foundintranslation Thu 09-Nov-06 21:56:59

I'd sussed before the 'medium rare' post. The 'Ah' was directed at LP.

foundintranslation Thu 09-Nov-06 21:57:26

Another clue in VVV's last post...

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 21:57:35

greensleeves?

PennySweets Thu 09-Nov-06 21:58:37

It was a wind up? You have a very active imagination, LePauvre. (And perhaps too much time on your hands...)

Still, what I said about responses on MN still stands.

I will now tell you, without feeling bad, (I was going to keep it from you, see) I PMSL when I first read it too!

LaPauvre Thu 09-Nov-06 21:58:44

<slow claps ilovecaboose>

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 21:59:01

greeny

AllieIsNiceAndFluffy Thu 09-Nov-06 21:59:27

pure genius oh green one

foundintranslation Thu 09-Nov-06 21:59:46

Greeny you are fab.

hatwoman Thu 09-Nov-06 22:00:00

well I know what half of that means and I think it's enough

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 22:00:06

I had to google for a french-english dictionary and everything

finally I can go to bed.

Some of us (i.e. me) ain't that bright you know

Greensleeves Thu 09-Nov-06 22:00:45

Thank you

It spiralled somewhat, I never know quite how to end

ilovecaboose Thu 09-Nov-06 22:00:47

v. good btw.

HAs kept me entertained all afternoon.

hatwoman Thu 09-Nov-06 22:00:48

so what does morves mean?

PennySweets Thu 09-Nov-06 22:01:07

you're fucking mad.

Greensleeves Thu 09-Nov-06 22:01:32

I know

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 22:02:20

What a foul mouth for someone so thoughtful.

hatwoman Thu 09-Nov-06 22:02:20

snivel??? you must have very good french to know that!

asleep Thu 09-Nov-06 22:03:00

so greensleeves, do you own a hamster?

Greensleeves Thu 09-Nov-06 22:03:29

Not any more

asleep Thu 09-Nov-06 22:04:07

lol

sallystrawberry Thu 09-Nov-06 22:05:51

who is it then????

PennySweets Thu 09-Nov-06 22:06:53

hub2dee, surely as a visitor to this site, you're not offended by swearing?

sallystrawberry Thu 09-Nov-06 22:07:01

ahhh twas greeny
you crazy person

foundintranslation Thu 09-Nov-06 22:07:07

sally - it's Greeny.

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 22:07:07

No copies of the FT either.

hamstermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 22:07:17

I fucking am, PS

Miaou Thu 09-Nov-06 22:07:36

Greeny, thanks for the entertainment! Have chuckled about this all afternoon . Wasn't taken in though (makes a change, Mars got me hook line and sinker)

Well done for holding out for so long, I would have crumpled and confessed within 20 minutes

dinosaur Thu 09-Nov-06 22:07:57

Greensleeves! Young lady, what do you think you were up to!

PMSL! Made coming back to MN worthwhile!

sallystrawberry Thu 09-Nov-06 22:08:04

ta ft, had just read a bit further

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 22:08:07

This site is depraved though, pennysweets.

PennySweets Thu 09-Nov-06 22:11:46

I've noticed.

AitchTwoOh Thu 09-Nov-06 22:16:24

bravissima, greeny, you rodent-loving freakazoid. <<claps wildly>>

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 22:16:30

I'm older than you.

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 22:16:56

(penny, not aitch. Aitch is 16).

PennySweets Thu 09-Nov-06 22:25:09

I'm alittle lost now, hub2dee. Are you saying you're older than me? How do you know?

<scratches head>

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 22:25:51

Because when I was young they were half-penny sweets.

hamstermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 22:28:20

<<groan>>

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 22:29:05

Well, go on then, you make a joke hunker....

<countdown theme kicks off>

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 22:30:16

Here's my joke .

PMSL @ PinkTinsel and PennySweets... who have just got to wind up merchants as well!!

Excellent Greeny! I didn't know it was you but I could tell you didn't know how or when to end...

TheHighwayCod Thu 09-Nov-06 22:43:59

ithnk it was a stupid thread

dinosaur Thu 09-Nov-06 22:45:13

Not jealous, are you?

TheHighwayCod Thu 09-Nov-06 22:45:57

i read ti and htought
this is a wind up so i wont post
i dont get why you WOULD

Oh cod.. it was classic! Where's your sense of humour tonight?

But that was the fun of it!

TheHighwayCod Thu 09-Nov-06 22:47:26

i just thought i wont waste my time
i ahev erm.... more... erm importatn thigns to do(!)
ditto the pirate one

PMSL ROFL wetting my pants - That is the funniest thing ever. I have been reading this since 3pm at work and had to wait till I came home as I was PMSL in my office. Nice one greeny.

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 22:48:55

More important things like <gasp> Fashion Dilemas ?

TheHighwayCod Thu 09-Nov-06 22:49:10

yes shawls to think about

In fact Greeny I dont think you should get any credit I think that should go to the v. witty posters, especially the ones with the links.

VeniVidiVickiQV Thu 09-Nov-06 22:49:41

Bah humbug Scrooge McCod.

Ahem....Greeny....

TheHighwayCod Thu 09-Nov-06 22:49:56

the odd thign is that peoepl really took it seriously

nob ends

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 22:53:56

lol @ nob ends.

Cod, the voice of all.TM

Now see I thought that about the UCM is that you thread, and its mentioned several times a day and its just not funny.
This one was though.

hub2dee Thu 09-Nov-06 22:54:25

Cod wahdyareckon ?

TheHighwayCod Thu 09-Nov-06 22:54:37

nob fromage

hamstermunker Thu 09-Nov-06 22:56:06

Not in one's earlobes, surely, Cod?!

busybusymum Thu 09-Nov-06 23:24:28

ROFL
Excellent thread, I laughed so hard I almost fell off the chair reading it earlier, couldnt post because I couldnt see the keys for the tears!
Been out at a meeting and couldnt wait to get back to see how it was going!

JoolsToo Fri 10-Nov-06 00:18:45

I have just eaten a whole pack of popcorn catching up here - pmsl! For a long time I thought it was Mars - well done snot gobbler

My awards for most amusing posts go to Tutter (that fluffy blue thing is hilarious and saved to favourites) and hub2dee for shawls, halter neck tops, snoods and frivolous decorative enhancements

arfishymeau Fri 10-Nov-06 02:18:52

OMG this is the funniest thing I've read in ages.

Well done Greeny.

Special award goes to

a) The elephant Quiche
b) Hamster eating guidelines in pregnancy
c) "It's not big and it's not clever" about how unsupportive everybody is PMSL ROFL

The elephant quiche must surely get an award?!

Thanks GS for a fantastic thread.

ludaloo Fri 10-Nov-06 07:02:08

I knew it! (well not who posted it but it was a wind up)

I don't feel bad about my poem at all now

southeastastra Fri 10-Nov-06 08:14:16

i knew it had the tone of a dumfluff thread! haha

southeastastra Fri 10-Nov-06 08:23:41

why do i always fall for these?

See all along I was thinking this is Cod cause she hadnt posted on it. Then I was thinking the name in French means Pepper - turns out it doesnt.

Southeastastra, how could you have possibly fallen for this???!!! I was laughing at the opening post and showing dh the responses immediately!

Anyway, well done Greensleeves, but I want to know (as I would never stand a chance of picking up the clues in the thread and guessing the poster's identity) what was the significance of calling yourself "The Poor" in French?

southeastastra Fri 10-Nov-06 09:32:50

i just thought it was too odd for someone to make it up! although i wasn't totally convinced

It went too far too quickly to be true IMO... I mean, you could never eat a hamster and not know it....could you?

foundintranslation Fri 10-Nov-06 09:35:02

If I hadn't guessed already, the dumbfluffishness of the 'dirty habit' comment would have given it away...
Greeny - I am speechless with admiration and a bit

anon666 Fri 10-Nov-06 09:38:15

The bit of hair in the casserole was pretty sus.

But it was the blender that definitely gave it away. Pure genius. Had me laughing all day.

You can't blend bones!

katierocket Fri 10-Nov-06 09:57:09

Ha! just seen this. Briliant Greeny - created more humour than I've seen on mumsnet for a while.

But MP wins the award for best contribution.

I still love this line: "hamsters don't DISSOLVE, you are getting them confused with Aspirin"

VeniVidiVickiQV Fri 10-Nov-06 10:01:42

I think Greeny and MP should write stories together

I'm thinking - in the style of Roald Dhal....

Greensleeves Fri 10-Nov-06 10:13:42

DG - LaPauvre was one of dh's nicknames for me when we were students, I just thought it suited the sorry tale of woe and the putative dd blarting her eyes out in the bathroom

StrawberryMoon Fri 10-Nov-06 10:45:35

wondered if anyone would dare out themselves after it went so far..wanted to start a thread.."jut been chipping potatos in kitchen and now cant find dd..funny looking ponytail sticking out os dish"..or something to that effect..but didnt incase i was wrong!

holidaymum Fri 10-Nov-06 10:52:38

Ooooh you bad bad girl Greeny! keep up the good work! You had me and ds in stitches last night.

Macdog Fri 10-Nov-06 12:38:56

Last night I said to dh "just going to have a quick look on MN"
45 mins later he came looking for me and found me snorting with laughter, with tears pouring down my face.

Thanks to everyone for really cheering me up

BudaBeast Fri 10-Nov-06 12:42:31

Def got too much time on your hands Greeny!

And a warped sense of humour!

V. funny.

Abby won't have to hunt about too much for next quote of the week!

kittywits Fri 10-Nov-06 12:45:35

I told ds2 about it, he couldn't see the funny side, that's ds2 though.

Tutter Fri 10-Nov-06 12:47:22

very good

i so wanted you to out yourself on the name thing

you must have been tempted to asnwer bayleaf surely

Salamander Fri 10-Nov-06 22:46:29

Damn I was really hoping it was real...

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