advice on family's hate campaign against pets(11 Posts)
Heya all after some advice,
I am 24 and 14 weeks pregnant with our first we live in a ground floor 2 bed flat with almost half an acre of PRIVATE garden and we have a lot of animals.
Both sides of our family and some of our friends are becoming incredibly rude about the sheer number of animals we have and that we will apparently have to get rid of them all.
Certain family members are even choosing which animals they would take and state that they need them sooner rather than later with every visit.
They even claim that my ferrets will kill the baby . . . do they think im dumb? they live outside in specially designed run's and are taken for walks every other day.
Did they think they would live in the cot with baby or something?
I wish i could say they were joking but they aren't.
I am not intending to work when the baby arrives for at least the first 2 years so see no trouble with the animal/baby ratio and fitting them around each other, none of the animals are on a schedule so when baby comes they will have no problem adjusting
I have tried explaining things to them politely several times which didn't work, i have even started refusing to listen and walking out of the room when they bring up the topic but they wont quit
My next and final stage unless anybody has any other ideas is to ban them all from visiting and even seeing the baby when it arrives if they cant keep their mouths shut.
The one and only good thing about this is that it is sure fire even though family and good friends have access to our home at all times via keys they won't risk my boys (dogs) without me or Zack there.
The Zoo as it stand's:-
Black Labrador, freak of nature giant
German Shepherd, freak of nature giant
Polydactyl cat, half and half feral
Cat and her 2 son's
Agouti and dumbo rats x 2
Hamster x 1
3ft Tropical fish tank and occupants
Red eyed white ferret
white mitt blase ferret
They are probably concerned that you won't have time to look after them all when your baby is born. Maybe when they criticise next you could ask them if they will help out while your baby is still tiny until he/she doesn't need you 24/7 and you can do more pet care yourself.
Do you think they'd be willing to help out or do you have any friends that might? You could come up with a rota or something for helping you out for the first few weeks.
The thing is i don't need help with them
and if i ask for help i will be seen as not coping and they will up the ante
ive already got rid of my chickens and ducks 14 in total because they would have caused problems and i understood this but i did it before anyone knew i was expecting because they couldn't have gone a day without a good clean out or been feed later in the evening
None of my boys or girl take more than 5 mins a day food water toilet break done
the dogs are not "walked" every day they swim mostly and we shoot exercise is not always purely physical they have to think too not forgetting they have constant access to a large garden
The biggest issue is unfortunately my pride and joys the dogs and ferrets, the dogs are trained . . . properly trained . . .they wont obey or even go with others
the ferrets were hand reared and while tame as can be to us they don't like strangers
Also there are two people in this relationship it wont take two to change a nappy or do a feed i can't see any problem with one of us being with baby while the other feeds or cleans an animal or even say me having baby in a pram while he has the dogs or ferrets and going for a walk together
Its not the animals that are the problem though its the negative comments which i need to stop though i thank you for the advice
Just keep saying, with a big smile, 'Actually, this is none of your business and not up for discussion' Because that's the truth. If people persist then walk out of the room. Complete stonewalling is the way to deal with this sort of thing. However if any of them are actually aggressive towards you or the animals, you can ban them from your home, and if they harass you with phone calls or emails, you can actually involve the police.
I'm sure it won't come to that and I'm saying it only in the hope of making you feel better about standing up to your relatives. They do not own you and you do not have to obey them.
Stick a smile on your face and say 'thanks for your concern and I will let you know if the animals ever get too much for me'. When the baby arrives you will be given a whole load of pointless advice and the best thing is always to say thanks and then ignore it and do your own thing.
I'm with you actually - I could never understand people who said they couldn't manage to get ready in a morning because the baby took up so much time (they all seem to manage fine with baby no 2). I had twins and managed fine on my own really as my DH worked away a lot.
I might be slightly concerned as to how your dogs are going to be with a baby.
Thanks for the advice guys
Im not worried about the dogs myself both have been brought up around babies and small kids who are friends and cousin's who don't have pets of their own so treat mine like pony's etc
both are even used to very young ones being in the house overnight screaming their heads off
they wont be loose in the flat anyway they aren't allowed past the kitchen which has a handy child gate on it
Tell them to mind their own bloody business! FWIW I don't think your haul of pets is that big/ time consuming as you have space to exercise the dogs ferrets and the cats/caged beings are pretty straight forward.
My lot had reduced to 2 dogs/ 2 cats by the time dd (6m) came along and I still got the 'what will you do with the animals when she is here?'
When they next bring it up, you could just say you have been looking into getting more............
I should add- my lot had reduced through gradual expiring, I did not get rid!
lol my lot are young for their species apart from the lab 41/2 iv got years of my zoo left
don't tempt me though i was offered a rabbit the other day but think its probably not a good idea with bunny-eating ferrets
I don't think you have a lot of animals, it sounds like you can manage just fine
as the dogs aren't allowed into the main part of the flat seems you are all set
fwiw when I was born both my parents cats had kittens so there was about 15 cats in the house
I am absolutely fine, but a bit of a day woman myself
I thought you were going today you had 12 dogs or something.
I had 3 cats when DD1 came along and a few people told me I would have to get rid of them as they another babies to death, I actually researched it and there is not one recorded case of a cat killing a baby despite everyone knowing this happened to their aunts, cousins, neighbours, dogs, cousins baby
Tell them to but out you'll be fine
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