When does puppy ownership get easier? Am finding it really hard to adjust.

[cupcakes]

Now, I may just be upset because I'm pregnant and hormonal so please bear in mind!
We have a labrador who we got a month ago. We are taking him to puppy training and he is making progress. There are hardly any accidents in the house and he can obey simple commands like sit. The walking is tricky as he pulls so much and so we are now using a Gentle Leader.
However, this weekend I have found the adjustment in our lives to accomodate him very difficult and have cried loads. I resent the fact that the children can't leave their toys out (he chews them) and that I always have to watch him with them as otherwise he gets overexcited and jumps up at them (dd is 3 and he can knock her over). He has an 'area' at the back of the house where we can shut him behind a stair gate and I end up having to put him there a lot more than I would really want (it is by the back door and he goes in the garden a lot).
He is so bouncy that I am finding it really draining. The baby isn't due till September but already I am finding the thought of combining caring for a newborn (+ 2 other children) and the dog overwhelming. Plus we are having an extension built in the spring. We knew all this when we decided to get him but I suppose what I didn't know was how draining I was going to find looking after him.
I am not trying to justify rehoming him - dh and the children really love him. And I do like him too! I'm just very tired and very stressed. Dh has had loads of hassle at work recently plus mil whom we see weekly has got cancer. This dog feels like one problem too many.
I suppose what I am really hoping to find out from you wise mumsnetters is how long this difficult period lasts. Months? Years? And is it normal for me to feel this?
I really want to skips ahead a couple of years and have this happy, settled family pet.
Please, please - any words of advise or reassurance greatly appreciated.

[Aero]

I know from experience of both my brothers having dogs that it takes around two years for them to be totally settled down. They are very boistrous for longer than I think I could ever cope with, despite loving dogs. They do settle though and make lovely companions when they 'grow-up' a bit. Other dog owners may be much more accurate in their advice about how long it takes before things become 'easier' in terms of leaving your slippers lying around etc though. Watching my brothers dogs made me realise how difficult it can be in the initial years, hence we adopted older cats.

[Nbg]

Well firstly I think every breed of dog is different but Labradors are quite intelligent as you will know and you are doing the right thing taking him to his training classes. He sounds as though he is doing really well.

He will calm down eventually and all the training you are doing with him will probably help shorten the period of a bouncy, giddy puppy.

My brother and sister in law got a puppy this time last year. He was very giddy then. Jumping around alot and he would knock our dd over. He also used to do that mouthing thing.
A year on the mouthing has stopped, he doesn't need to be caged when left on his own and will settle to sleep or calm down quite quickly. He still does a bit of jumping about but that seems to be more of a "happy to see you" action when you visit, IYSWIM.

I'll give you a little insight to how our dog was at that age and it might make you feel a little better.
He wasn't toilet trained until he was over 1 year, he ripped up 3 carpets, 2 of dh's suits and a pair of my £100 boots, could not be left no matter what on his own and was a total nightmare on the lead. There was no enjoyment in walking him.

Sadly some of these issues are still unresolved 5 years on and actually today I have taken on a behaviour therapist to come and help us

but I really truly and honestly think that your pup will flourish into a beautiful pet. e already sounds as though he is.
I can understand your concerns and sometimes it can feel as though they are very demanding but things will change and you will so enjoy him as time goes on.
Plus I bet he will be an absolute darling with the new baby.

[Nbg]

That sounds about right Aero.

Dogs aren't classed as an adult until they are 3 so if you think you have baby years, terrible twos, tantruming child, nightmare teenager and hormones all bowled into a very short space of time

[wannaBe1974]

Cupcakes feeling like this is totally normal.

Arrow is right though, generally they don't grow out of it until they're about 2/3. Labradors, although lovely dogs, can be very destructive and some never outgrow the chewing stage completely although it does calm down signifficantly as they get older.

I have an 11-year-old lab and she's a guide dog, so one might think that because she was well-trained when I got her, she wouldn't have had any nasty habbits? Well, I got her when she was 18 months old, so not really considered a puppy any more, and in the first year I had her she destroyed ...

a cushion, a 4 metre roll of wrapping paper, set of modem cables, several newspapers, ah yes and a packet of chocolates, wrappers and all. And this was a well-trained, well-behaved dog. She's outgrown it now, but she's due to retire iminently and I'm on the waiting list for a new dog, and that's one thing I am not looking forward to.

[cupcakes]

God, thank you so much. I am so relieved to have some kind of feedback I am crying - this is a big thing for me, I never cry; this weekend has been a big release!
Sorry to hear the problems you have had.
He is a good dog and I can really see th progress he is making. I just feel we rushed into getting a dog too quickly and the reality has been a bit of a slap in the face. I really hope things will be ok when the baby comes (in September).
I don't know why I have chosen to make things so difficult for us right now.
I suppose I have to face the fact that we're going to have a busy couple of years and just look forward to the calm afterwards.

[parkj83]

I'm sure you'll be fine when baby comes. Labs are renowned to be good with kids.

My MIL has a choccy lab who's 2, and although he doesn't see ds very often, he's brilliant with him (always has been!).

My mother's dog was a nightmare! Saluki x, he chewed everything in sight, from wallpaper, to lino, to tins of fish. More out of boredom than anything else. He even managed to get kicked out of training classes

In comparison, your pup sounds lovely

[parkj83]

Why did I say 'was' for mother's dog? Should have been 'used to be'

She still has him, but he's 11 now.

PS it took him 5 or 6 years to calm down completly, but that was when mum found the gentle leader.

Cupcakes, you say you have one - well done. Best invention ever!

[CountessDracula]

Some old fuzzlewit said

Three years a young dog
Three years a good dog
Three year an old dog

And anything else is a bonus

So you have a way to go until he gets good!

Seriously though, he sounds pretty normal and if you just persevere a bit I think it will be fine

[stephanie21]

sorry your feeling so upset about your pooch.we got a dog at the end of dec.ive got 5 children and we are planning on having another (yep,got stupid written on my head!!)anyway,our dog is 5 months old and is so laid back,but im finding it hard that the kids cant go outside like they used to.he just wants to jump and play,and i worry that they might get hurt.weve decided to have him neutered (or whatever it is you do with a dog!) as weve been told that he will calm down.have you thought about having yours done?he might behave more and become less demanding for you.he cant be done until hes 6 months though.and i think that after you have had the baby and he has calmed down,you'll have a great family pet for the kids to grow up with.

[cupcakes]

stephanie - we definitely want to get him neutered. He is way too horny. He goes through spates of constantly trying to hump my leg (although doesn't do it to dh) or the children's backs. Really dislike it. At his classes he is the only boy (there are only 4 in the class) and he finds it very difficult as he is so horny. The teacher suggested we take him out before the play session at the end as all he wants to do is mount the other dogs.
I don't think it aids his nervousness. He is fine though when he meets boy dogs.

[leggymamba]

I was exactly where you were this time last year (including the crying, pg and what the hell did I get a dog for bit). Dog is now 1.5. In the last couple of months she has really calmed down loads. She now sneaks things to chew rather than doing it openly and I can prevent it as I know what she goes for (mainly socks- dirty, and teddy bears). She's easier to walk and it's lovely taking her out now nights are begining to get lighter. She still gets shut in utility room if we have friend around or getting too much for kids - she now just goes to sleep in there and likes the time to herself.

If you're worried about when the baby actually comes - send him to have a holiday at the kennels for a couple of weeks ( ours went from when she was very young and really enjoys going she jumps out with her tail wagging)

The being horny bit might be about him trying to dominate you. Neutering helps with that too. Gets his bits off as soon as you can

[stephanie21]

have you read victoria stillwells book?(think thats her name!)shes the one who does 'its me or the dog'.i found loads of really helpful advice,and most of it has worked with our dog.hes quite good,but just the chewing is driving me nuts!keep finding teeth on the floor,so hopefully once his big ones are through he wont chew as much!!

[cupcakes]

it's funny to think of a dog teething in the same way as a baby.

leggymamba - I can't tell you how reassuring your post is. How long did you have the puppy when your baby was born?
I was thinking about kennels today. I'm already missing just the thought of weekends away (we used to go to stay with friends 2-3 times a year). How old do you think they need to be to stay in a kennel (and be happy with it?).

[lapsedrunner]

It takes at least 2 years .

[leggymamba]

We got our puppy the week I discovered I was pg (no 2) so was about 7ish months before I had ds. dd was just over 1 when we got her.

Dog stayed in kennels for the first time when she was 4 months, if you find a nice one (I asked people when we were out on walks) they will make a real fuss about puppies - we had an over night party to go to so dropped her off late and picked her up early the first time. She goes quite regularly (every couple of months), and as they know her well let her out to play with another regular so she just sees it as a chance to get to play with other dogs.

Like with babies it does get easier.

[cupcakes]

We have a wedding in August so I definitely want to use a kennel then.
Was she in a kennel when you brought the baby home?

He's having his crazy time now. I'm ignoring and leaving to dh...

[katetee]

Hiya
just wanted to say I agree with the others. We have a 2yo black lab bitch. I don't think you really notice the changes as they happen gradually. We did use a crate to prevent the destruction and we have been so lucky, she has not destroyed anything other than socks (yes dirty preferably!!) and her own beds. She obviously like the soft centres! She is nowhere near as mental as she was a year ago and is joy to have in the house. Walks are still hard work and I use a halti. With regard to other children (mine are 12 and 10) my closest friend has an 18month old and she allows her to pull her ears nealy off her head, hit her pull her etc etc, if she doesn't like it she gets up and walks away. I think the preg hormones don't help (not trying to be patronising) we used to have a lab cross 12 years ago, and I couldn't cope with him once I became pg and even afterwards, i couldn't have him near me,unfortunately we rehomed him. BUT it was with a lovely older couple who would have given him a great home. Good luck, you will get there.

[magnolia1]

We have been crazy enough to do the puppy thing 3 times!!!

We had a black lab a few years back and he was still like a puppy till about 2yrs old. He ate through a wall

Now we have a springer X staffie who is 16 months old and apart from the occasional chewing and jumping she is great. We also have a 6 month old Staffie pup who is a nightmare!!

Dirty socks and any clothes are always found chewed, dd4's toys, and the worst is if we leave knives with plastic handles on anywhere on the side or draining board the older one gets them down and the pup chews all the handles

I sometimes feel like we are mad with 2 dogs, 2 cats and 4 kids but I know (well hope) in a couple of years we will have relaxed mellow companions

[cupcakes]

Thanks for your responses.
Dh has met someone with a lab who is 1 yr older than ours - and can already see the light! For example, he settles down in the evening instead of bounding round the room for 2 hours.
I am getting optimistic. More puppy training tonight. Do you think I should tell the trainer that I'm pg? (I'm only 12 weeks). Do you think it would be relevant in any way to his current training?

[leggymamba]

Wouldn't hurt to tell the trainer that you're pg but maybe do it when you feel ready - they might be able to give advice about when the baby's born.

We had our dog at home when we brought ds home but it all happened quickly and i wasn't in hospital overnight - so no chance to take her to kennels. She had lots of time in the garden for that week though! She was really scared of him when he got home - high pitch screaming! He has just learnt to crawl and they now empty all the kitchen cupboards together (note to self - get cupboard locks!).

[cupcakes]

I didn't go to training last night as I was too tired so dh went - and told her. I was dreading her thinking we are insane but she was very relaxed and just reassured dh that Pan will be so well trained by then. Which is a relief.

[leggymamba]

CC - How are things going?

Thought about you last week as my little darling had to go to vets after getting stick lodged in her mouth (£160 later....) then yesterday broke into cupboard and ate contents of my peg bag - now worried that the metal will be stuck in her stomach!

Any one want a beagle.........

[cupcakes]

Gosh, that sounds a worry!
He has been much better the past week, I'm very relieved to say. He finished his puppy class and got the 'best improved walker' certificate!
He has really calmed down in the evenings and settles down much better which is really making things easier - as that was my most stressful time.
Also, I've accepted that when I'm having a difficult time I can put him in his area without feeling so guilty about it and then have a nice play with him afterwards when he/I/the children have all calmed down.

Things have changed in our situation somewhat as I've miscarried. Although I'm desperately sad I can at least see that it takes the pressure off the training and hopefully things will be a lot easier in the future when hopefully we will have another baby.

[leggymamba]

I'm so sorry for you.

It must be difficult to look at the positives, hope you're keeping well and have a minute to yourself with the puppy and children.

[twinsetandpearls]

According to dp it took our Springer two years to calm down - I would say 3.

For the first year to eighteen months he was burying everything in the back garden - even kitchen appliances and being very destructive if left on his own.

Between 2 and 3 he was good for dp but naughty for me - always running off, chewing at carpets, jumping at people amd just being exhausting to look after - and trying to hump anyone female of any species.

He is now OK, a lovley family dog in fact but it has been hard work. I do empathise - I went through an awful phase with dp's springer last year and even thought about re homing him.