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"My eyes fell on her" "Her eyes followed him around the room" ugh

7 replies

bigmouthstrikesagain · 06/03/2014 13:53

I cannot fully express my irritation at seeing these phrases in a piece of writing! A book I have been reading recently (not very good so my own fault I suppose for persevering with it), is littered with eye balls leading full and independent lives rolling around and following people. So annoying.

STOP IT NOW - I call for a ban on the phrase... and breath. Blush

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AdoraBell · 06/03/2014 13:56

Gives me the creeps too. Have any characters had their eyes " meet across a crowded room"?

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bigmouthstrikesagain · 06/03/2014 14:02

Mainly the eyes have been rolling, falling and following but they are probably meeting too, the sods. It is just once you notice an overused expression or word then it becomes really distracting. A book I read last year the author used 'stark' all the bloody time "stark trees", "stark face", "stark eyes" !! Get a bloody thesaurus or stop describing everything!

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AdoraBell · 06/03/2014 14:06

Yes, and yes - Get that thesaurus before you even think about writing another book, nameless author.

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CalamityKate · 06/03/2014 14:06

"His eyes slid down the front of her dress" Grin

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bigmouthstrikesagain · 06/03/2014 14:13

badly written repetitive fiction does have an entertainment factor of course. Possibly a really lonely and tragic drinking game?

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bigmouthstrikesagain · 06/03/2014 14:17

I am imagining gelatinous spheres sliding into a cleavage - shudder {see I have a thesaurus} Calamity Grin

What is wrong with 'his gaze travelled down her form' or something like that...?

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ohmymimi · 06/03/2014 19:08

Thank you! I had never given this any thought and now I will spot it eveywhere. Calamity made me laugh out loud, though.

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